#I don't personally don't like it doesn't mean anyone should stop for me like who the hell even am I??
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carmesi-butterfly · 2 days ago
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childhood nostalgia with enhypen. part 1
this turned out super shitty im sorry t__t it's prolly my first time writing since march lolzies despite everything i hope you like it!!
enhypen's heeseung! jungwon! sunoo! sunghoon! + gn! reader. word count 798. warnings none. not proofread.
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heeseung: searching "aliens caught on camera" on youtube.
“are you being serious? this is obviously fake!” your words were accompanied by a small giggle, “why do all these videos are recorded with shitty cameras? i can't even identify what's going on”
“what do you mean by fake?!” his indignation was more than clear, “look at how the flying saucer approaches the person; it's pretty visible” the video played on repeat a few times, pointing at this apparent ‘ovni.’
“where did you find this video? it has only 200 views, don't tell me you've been scrolling through youtube for so long that you started to find videos that only you and the person who posted it saw”
“that doesn't matter; see this one,” he said while clicking on another video, changing it to another with better quality and more illumination. “there! look at it! it's right there, imagine you're just walking by a lonely road trying to go home and an ovni starts following you”
if it was anyone else saying something like this to you you would've just laughed, but knowing your boyfriend and his beliefs, this was really serious, his big deer eyes looking at you in search of an opinion on the matter while putting the most unhinged and undiscovered alien videos of the internet.
jungwon: playing love testers.
It was your idea at first, while recalling your times as a kid with free and unlimited access to the internet the memory of you using those famous pages for kids that “calculated” your affinity with your crush by just putting their name or zodiac sign popped on your mind like a popcorn, you had to find those webs and use them with your boyfriend, it was a life or death matter!
“seventy percent?! this is not accurate, it should say one hundred…” you said in distress as if this ‘love calculating’ page would define the future of your relationship.
“I will try using our full names,” suggested Jungwon, who in the beginning was kind of reluctant about this, maybe because he wasn't interested or found it boring, but in the end, it was just a silly activity he could do with his partner. What he didn't count on was that it would become his mission to reach the hundred percent in every net he could find, reaching to the point of finding the webs you frequented as a kid to do the same. “yoi! I told you, a hundred percent! Now our names and zodiac signs are compatible.” The enormous amount of pride his expression demonstrated couldn't be described by words.
sunoo: learning vocaloid’s mirror dances.
a mirrored dance tutorial of ‘romeo and cinderella’ by hatsune miku sounded on repeat in one of the practice rooms of hybe’s building; the chorus could be heard on repeat, accompanied by your clumsy movements and the frustrated noises you would make every time you got something wrong, luckily, when you were about to reach the last level of insanity and give up on learning the choreography, your boyfriend came to your rescue! and with a lot of groceries from the convenience store.
“sunoo! how am i supposed to do this step? i'm trying but i can't get it right…” your defeated look was funny to see by your partner; doing this was his idea as a ‘fun activity’ to do and bond, but your poor ability to dance was making it difficult for you. fortunately, you have an amazing boyfriend and dance partner who will help you with everything you need!
“ooh, which part? i will help you”
the young couple stood bending in front of the ipad watching what parts were more difficult for you, and after rewatching it a few times to get the movements right sunoo proceeded to teach you everything step by step, he was patient with you because of your inexperience on the topic but couldn't stop himself from teasing you a few times if your motions were awkward.
sunghoon: playing dance dance revolution.
the levels of frustration and humiliation both of you felt couldn't even be described in words, seeing a kid that couldn't reach the ten-year-old mark publicly beating your asses in this dancing machine felt embarrassing.
“you are an idol, where are your dancing abilities?!” you muttered to your partner, who was more than immersed in the child’s dancing.
“the company should recruit him” was the only thing his mouth dropped.
“i can't believe it,” your sigh took sunghoon out of his trance. it was kind of fun seeing the pout that decorated your face, expressing your emotions through it.
“let's try again, but i don't think you will be capable of following my pace” such a cocky comment could only leave your partner’s lips, especially now with his ‘arrogant’ mood.
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lilybecca1 · 2 days ago
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I open TikTok and of course this is the first thing that came up
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And it's true. I think we all tend to look past how broken Bakugou Katsuki actually is, and how he's been broken down piece by piece ever since the beginning of the manga. So they say he hasn't gotten any karma for what he said to Izuku? He was literally one of the people who suffered the most in the entire story.
His entire world was flipped upside down, he went through feelings of betrayal when he thought Izuku lied to him his whole life, his own insecurities have been brought forth almost every moment, his ego was beaten down episode by episode, which yeah, we can say he deserved that, but that doesn't mean it wasn't any less painful and that he didn't suffer through all that humiliation and constantly being reminded that he isn't unbeatable, that he's weak.
And he also had his fair share of panic attacks, more than most of the others. He was humiliated and his weakness was shown for the whole world to see when he got kidnapped, and had to experience everyone believing that he could turn into a villain when his whole life was basically about how much he wanted to be a hero. And if we look back at how many times we've seen him cry, which is also more than most of the others, then it's a lot, especially for a person who is supposed to be someone who doesn't cry, who always remains strong. Yet he was the one that always broke down, that had to deal with the most inner turmoil in the span of that one year, which must have been a hell of a hard time of suffering for him after years and years of suppressing those emotions.
In the beginning of the manga, he started off as someone egoistic with a superior complex who would never ever admit that he was wrong, and by the end of it we got someone who apologized out of his own will. For someone like the person that he was, to even consider, yet alone want to apologize, on his own will, without anyone pushing him to do so, is a big fucking thing.
We forget the fact that these children have literally went through hell, emotionally, physically, mentally. They're just CHILDREN. Hell, Bakugo literally died, if that year wasn't traumatic enough for him. He had to experience what it feels like to lose someone important, first with All Might (the fact that he caused it adds even more to it), then losing Deku, then losing his OWN LIFE. And yes, he did lose Deku, because when he was in the hospital, the others literally told him that there's no way of knowing if Deku would even wake up or not. Do you guys have any idea how it would feel to hear THAT about someone you care about? That they might not even wake up? When you haven't even apologized about everything that you have done to him, haven't come clean about your past to him?
Yeah no, shit, I know it must have terrified Bakugo like hell. Then he ended up losing Deku again when Deku left UA to begin his Vigilante Arc. He left without saying goodbye after Bakugo thought he might lose him, now tell me that isn't painful enough as it is.
This guy went through fucking hell, people should stop throwing so much shit on him. He's been broken to the point that he basically became an entire different person than who he was. And I don't care that he told Izuku to jump, because he is not that person anymore, and not just because he apologized. No, that person has been beaten down rough, left broken, alone, confused and in pain, not understanding his own feelings. The person that he used to be was beaten down and left so broken, that he couldn't be built back into the same person anymore. He went through trauma after trauma, went through all kind of emotional turmoil, pain, anguish, shock, humiliation, guilt, remorse, and worst of all, he died, losing his life at just 16 years old.
He came back to life NOT the same person that he was. Not the same heart, not the same feelings. Whether you understand it or not, that guy is not the Bakugou Katsuki that he used to be, and he never will be. All that anger, that shell around his heart has been broken into millions of pieces, leaving only this pure and sensitive soul who has gone through too much pain to comprehend.
Trauma changes you, it makes you become a completely new person. Bakugou Katsuki died in the war, and it's Bakugou Kacchan who came back to life and survived to live on.
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do-you-ship-it-polls · 2 days ago
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I am the first anon who posted about misandry. Thank you for your answer, I understand better why you posted this banner.
I just want to make a distinction between what I'd call feminist misandry and TERF misandry.
My friends are the farthest you can imagine from TERF (a lot of them are even trans). They are misandric because a lot have suffered from cis-men. For them, misandry is a protective instinct: if you meet a group of cis-men, be careful.
They hate cis-men as an oppressive group. They don't take a essentialistic view of masculinity, but a sociological one. Men are a group of power, that can abuse it, and they will protect each other. And of course, they don't include trans women in it. (A lot of the feel waaaaay safer with trans women than cis men).
That has nothing to do with TERFs, who use misandry to say "trans women are oppressors" or "trans women are essentially men"
Anyway, I understand the desire to piss off terfs and radfems. But I'd be sad if the word "misandry" was appropriated by them.
Sorry to bring that discourse, and thank you for the clarification!
genuinely don't understand why people are so deadset on identifying themselves as bigots who think 50% of humanity is out to get them. like, being against the patriarchy means you're a feminist or anti-sexist or ideally just a normal person but idk how many people agree. irrational hatred of men is not the same as wanting to knock the patriarchy down, all it does is just: be irrational hatred against men. when there's discussions like this, it also verges on "trans men aren't real men" territory because for some people, they are the exception. until they go on T and dress in a masculine way, then they're too cis man-like to participate in queer spaces (dunno how common it is, but it does happen!)
english isn't my first language, nor have I grown up in an american culture, so I wonder if it's my use of the word misandry that sets people off? like, is that a loaded word? because the definition of misandry is simply "hatred against men". it doesn't mean you feel uncomfortable with men or are scared of them, it means you hate men. I never thought that I would get so much shit for saying that it's weird to have such a deep, blind hatred for half of humanity. I don't think the word can be appropriated my radfems/terfs because there's nothing to be taken out of context, it means the same thing for anyone who uses the word.
why not just call yourself a feminist, an anti-sexist person, an anti-patriarchy person, etc etc. why do you label yourself as a person who hates all men for being born men and no matter what they do, they can never become a good person because they were born as men? I'm genuinely so baffled. not that anyone is planning on changing their mind about this, atleast not me.
thanks to the comments and asks that confirm to me that I'm not crazy for thinking this lol. also, I'm just some guy behind the screen. you can unfollow, block me, ask me to remove your submissions from the queue, whatever.
Just a fun side note, you know who started this discourse in the first place? All of this about transandrophobia and misandry?
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little chihiro over on my queer blog... (I really liked the headcanon so if the person who submitted them sees this, i'm not saying it's your fault at all) just funny that it's this little cute character.
I should probably stop answering asks about his now.
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silverynight · 2 days ago
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A secret
Tomioka is the first to find out, it's not a surprise actually, ever since Tanjirou came back from his mission in the Red light District and had to spend a lot of time recovering in the butterfly estate the Pillars got to know him better and of course... They fell for him.
Now they try to spend all the free time they have with him; yes, Zenitsu thinks it's incredibly annoying because Tanjirou is his friend and because of that he has to endure watching the Pillars making heart eyes at him.
It's really weird.
However, he's not that irritated because of that, but actually because Tomioka approaches them late at night, after a long training session and he finds Tanjirou asleep, sitting against a tree in the backyard.
Tomioka sees him and because he's just like the others (even though he manages to keep a neutral expression most of the time) he volunteers to take Tanjirou back to his room.
All the hashira would take any opportunity just to touch Tanjirou and Zenitsu knows it; now, he would like to tell him that Inosuke and he can take care of that themselves, but the truth is that he's still too scared of the Pillars to tell them "no" so the water hashira leans closer and lifts Tanjirou up.
Unfortunately, Tanjirou does the thing, the same thing Zenitsu wanted to keep as a secret; so far only Inosuke, Nezuko and he knew about Tanjirou's habit of cuddling anyone who had the fortune of sleeping next to him.
Even asleep, Tanjirou gives the best cuddles and Zenitsu didn't want to share that information with anyone else.
It's too late now though.
Tanjirou smiles in his sleep and nuzzles gently against Tomioka's chest before sighing happily, prompting the hashira to freeze and turn bright red.
"Does he always do that when he's asleep?"
Zenitsu has the feeling that the water hashira would know if he lied so he answers reluctantly.
"Yes. I think... I think it's because he had many siblings," he mumbles; he knows he was the oldest so the little ones probably went to him for comfort in the middle of the night whenever they had a bad dream.
"I see... Maybe I should stay with him in his room, he'll probably sleep better if someone is cuddling him–"
"Then he'll feel more safe if he feels someone like me cuddling him..."
To Zenitsu's irritation not only Uzui is there but the other Pillars as well.
He can hear their interest as well as their jealousy while Tanjirou sighs and nuzzles against Tomioka again.
This is not fair, Tanjirou only becomes physically affectionate in his sleep around Zenitsu and Inosuke and it feels wrong to have to share that with nine people who are going to use that information as much as they can.
Kanroji is about to pout and say something when Tomioka stops her before she can speak.
"Don't wake him up. Listen, I'll sit here so he can sleep on my lap and after a couple of minutes one of you takes my place. We can share."
Everyone agrees, which is not a surprise because they're ridiculously besotted at this point and would do anything to have Tanjirou in their arms.
Rengoku is almost shaking with excitement; that hashira doesn't know the meaning of personal space, especially around Tanjirou, so being given the opportunity to hold the boy so close to him is doing things to him.
They all are ridiculous, even Shinazugawa, the scariest hashira is there, waiting for his turn to cuddle Tanjirou like he's a wild, grumpy cat who's starving for affection.
Fortunately, Inosuke comes running towards them and screams "Monjiro!" before any of the Pillars can do something about it.
Even Himejima looks displeased with the interruption.
"Inosuke? Oh, Tomioka-san! Sorry, did I fall asleep on you?" Tanjirou quickly moves away and sits on the ground instead before noticing the others. "Oh, hi!"
"Don't mind us, Tanjirou," Tokito says. "You go back to sleep again if you're tired."
"Maybe I should go to my room then..."
"No!" Iguro blurts out and blushes as soon as he realizes what he did. "I mean you can stay here... We don't mind."
"You can sit on my lap, my boy! It's really comfortable!"
"My wives want to see you again, Tanjirou. Why don't you stay with us for a couple of days?"
"I can teach you meditation that'll help you sleep more peacefully," Himejima offers at the same time the others speak.
Zenitsu rolls his eyes.
"It's fine. I'll go to Nezuko's room actually..."
Even Kocho groans at that, they know they have no chance against the demon girl; she won't let any of them near her brother.
That's one of the things Zenitsu loves about her. However, he knows the next days, maybe weeks aren't going to be easy; he can tell everyone is already planning how to make Tanjirou fall asleep near them.
It's going to be a nightmare.
***
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lilacerull0 · 13 days ago
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i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
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izzy-b-hands · 27 days ago
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
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kyouka-supremacy · 1 year ago
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Tries to buy something from Ama/zon (tears hair) (vomits blood) (breaks all their bones) (faints to the ground) (starts convulsing) (drops dead)
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knaveofmogadore · 7 months ago
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Kfkdks
#messages from knave#im making breakfast and im gonna list my observations from three years of weird living situations#younger siblings of big age gaps will see most interactions as a form of soft combat until trained out of it#but when actual clmbat happens they're used to not having any sway so they don't actually know how to act in arguments#siblings with codependent relationships have their own internal langauge that they apply to others. not sure if they realize they do it#but they'll hold you to the same rules they've mentally created for each other without explaining them#siblings of ALL stripes will approach situations with a set idea of how communication works. and even if it's not a logical way to communica#they'll expect you to also communicate in that way. and if you can't or refuse they'll shut down and communication stalls completely because#they can't fathom doing it any other way except the way they and their siblings socialized each other to do it#siblings with adversarial relationships don't take outside advice and will take attempts to give advice as manipulative. not their fault#oldest siblings are the most conflict averse people on the planet. oldest sinlings say#'is anyone gonna balloon this situation out of proportion by avoiding it for as long as possible' and not wait for an answer#siblings who were regularly appointed as hall monitors will see any interaction with you as transactional#a hallmark of a dysfunctional sibljng relationship is someone who thinks telling you NO is worse than going through a situation they do not#wanna be in. and then they'll complain about it endlessly#and then they'll be like 'i don't want favours from my parents because they'll hold it over me' and never make the connection on their own#people cannot anticipate your needs with their minds. they are sometimes going to ask you to be a part of things you don't wanna#you're NEVER gonna be able to live in a world where people will stop asking you to be a part of things that's not feasible#had one say once 'people should just know not to ask me along for plans I can't get to people should know not to invite me'#and you know dude that's just now how stuff works. there's a difference between 'x cant drive so they can't help me move my dresser' and#'i know xs work schedule so i shouldnt infomr them of group plansnon the off chance they could make it so they don't feel left out'#people with hyper competitive siblings can't fathom that other people won't know how to do stuff. i don't just mean athletes but siblings#with that scarcity mindsetnin general like they can't handle people not having the same knowledge base they have. it's a survival thing#and NO having a life of suffering doesn't make you correct all the time has literally anyone else watched heathers#youngest siblings always have the most deranged dating stories and the oldest in a set of age gap siblings always has the WORST taste in men#< that's directed at my sister and no one else that's a personal diss not a real observation#only children have one thing. theyre SUPER weird about splitting the grocery bill#food is NOT communal to only children I've learned firsthand. Also they'll be perfectly fine sharing anything else BUT food usually#weed. loans. bathroom supplies. dishes. ect. but NOT food#meanwhile sibljngs are a little TOO comfortable chowing down on stuff they didn't buy. bad roommates are bad roommates
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moldy-flowers · 2 months ago
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NOOOOOOOOOOO
Tsunade: Fully believes in Narutos abilities and has full faith he will be a great Hokage, the best, even.
Konoha public: "Hey what if we made Naruto the sixth Hokage :3"
Tsunade: "what the FUCK are you talking about I watched him cry over a picture of Sasuke yesterday he is NOT prepared for that yet make Kakashi do it"
#LET THE BOYS BE BOYS#STOP SHIPPING THEM#LET THEM RECOVER FROM THEIR TRAUMA FIRST PLEASE‼️‼️‼️ THEY ARENT READY FOR LOVE TILL THEY LOVE THEMSELVES‼️‼️#I should have known not everyone would see them as silly brothers#Should have made it like a kitten or something and not Sasuke#Sigh I've reaped what I sewed#Sometimes I gen forget that like 50% of the fandom ships sns...#This must be what the non NaruMitsu shippers feel in the Ace attorney fandom...#Am I... my own worst enemy...?#Okay but like tbf Edgeworth and Phoenix are literally just like that#Sasuke and Naruto are just a little co-dependant and a lot a lot obsessive#See I want to fist fight the sns shippers but its so hard bc I like get it. like ik that I personally wud go that far for a friend but like#Like i can't even go “Hey ur interpreting that wrong” bc like who am I do judge how ppl interpret things that i didn't write#Like Ik that that's not how Kishimoto meant it but I hate beating on ppls ships bc like ship who you want when u want just bc like#I don't personally don't like it doesn't mean anyone should stop for me like who the hell even am I??#BUT I DID WRITE THIS POST AND I SAY ITS NOT SNS#But hey just for fun let's say it's SuiSasu#Hmmmmm and maybe it's Naruto x Toneri#Maybe it's Tobirama x Izuna??#We'll never know#BUT WHAT WE DO KNOW IS THAT ITS NOT SNS#Sigh i can't wait till I get over my grudge on sns#Life will be so much happier#Idek why It makes me so angry#God's pls hear my plea and let me make peace with this ship#Like no other naruto ship makes me mad except for this one#I'm even okay with SasuHina and like ShiSaku#Like I don't like them but I'm at peace#WHY am I not at peace with the most popular ship in the fandom this is so unfair#somebody undo this curse on me pleaseeeee
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uravitypng · 6 months ago
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big beefy number one pro hero deku is absolutely smitten with you, his chubby little girlfriend, and yeah you're a little bit of an airhead sometimes but that makes you all the more endearing to him.
prior to meeting you he used to feel embarrassed whenever he'd ramble too long about heroes or quirks. after some time people would drown him out after he started his disjointed babbling, not wanting to listen to him ramble. with you it's different, the first time it happened he went to apologise to you. jirou once told him he should try and apologise if he realised he did it to strangers afterwards- especially now that he's a pro hero.
so he goes to stammer out an apology after realising he spoke to you uninterrupted about all might's golden age for five minutes and you tilt your head and giggle at him. izuku draws in a breath. "why are you apologising deku? i really liked hearing you speak. what about his other ages?"
izuku felt like he was malfunctioning, "what?"
you bite your lip to stop yourself from giggling again. who knew pro hero deku is so cute? "like the silver age and the bronze age? are those all the ages or is there like a platinum age too?" izuku grins, you're so interested in what he has to say he can't help it. "wait was is all might's quirk again? he's like strong right? that's his quirk."
izuku pauses for a second before barking out a laugh. you pout and glare at him feigned annoyance. 'she's so adorable and ditzy. i need to speak to her again.'
you constantly praise him, not just for hero work either, and ever single time it makes his entire face red. it doesn't matter that you've been dating for four years now and izuku's brought an engagement ring, he still gets flustered with all the compliments.
people compliment him all the time, it comes with the job, but when you do it it means so much more. " 'zuku you're so brave!" "i don't understand this at all izuku, can you explain it too me? you're the smartest person i know." "you're so pretty." "your hair is so soft." "you're the best hero ever!"
a light sheen of sweat covers your forehead after being manhandled by your boyfriend into the cowgirl position, he loves holding onto your love handles and moving you up and down on his cock, with each bounce your body jiggles. you'll lay in bed with your face buried in his chest as you trace the scars on his arms with your fingertips lightly, "you're so strong izuku." you turn to face him and your chubby cheeks lift as you smile. "i'm so proud of you." his heart skips a beat. he's never loved anyone more than he loves you.
izuku gets possessive of you, he doesn't like people touching you. you're his. before you he never thought he would be jealous or possessive but then you came into his life and he nearly broke the glass of champagne he was holding when he saw todoroki talk to you. he knows todoroki doesn't like you like that, he's liked yaoyorozu since ua but he was too close to you and izuku hated it. his legs moved before he could think, walking up to you both with a forced smile on his face. he wraps his arm around your soft waist, tightly, and kisses your forehead. you smile sweetly at him and lean into his body. izuku brought you home earlier than you thought he would that night, holding onto your thick thigh with one hand while his other hand is on the steering wheel, driving you both home.
his jealous nature was cemented a week after when he saw kaminari talking to you. not just talking to you- flirting with you. if izuku was holding a glass like he was last time he most certainly would of smashed it in anger. you don't even realise what kaminari is doing and izuku knows you don't.
you listen to him talk intently and nod your head, you smile at him and laugh at his jokes. to some people they would think this would be you flirting back but you're not, you're just trying to be nice. kaminari has decided to talk to you and you want to be kind and listen to what he has to say and izuku has really admired that quality about you but right now he wishes you could pick up on the clear signs that kaminari is giving you.
izuku snaps when he sees kaminari look at your cleavage and glance at your body, his eyes lingering on your plush thighs. his voice is strained as he pulls you away from kaminari making some half-arsed, offhanded excuse as he takes you home immediately.
when he saves a small child and he gives them his award winning grin all he can think about afterwards is you. 'who are our kids going to look like? will they have my freckles? or maybe her hair? if they're half as cute as her they'll be the cutest kids ever.' he's already planning their bedrooms and his eyes drift to the baby clothes section at stores.
your boyfriend has the biggest breeding kink known to man and you get reminded of that as he folds your body into a mating press and groans deeply in your ear, "can't wait to see your soft body get softer puppy, promise i'll look after, you won't have to lift a finger." you loudly whine, grabbing hold of his large arms, every thrust causes a loud slapping sound with how wet you are. "you're gonna look so pretty puppy. i'm going to pump you full, make sure you don't spill any for me, just like the good girl you are."
izuku adores you and you feel exactly the same about him.
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rockrosethistle · 11 months ago
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If there's one thing TGWDLM fans are gonna do, it's think about the implications. And the implications of the opening number are crazy.
So. We know that the show isn't completely chronological since the opening number takes place before the meteor hits. So that song is a sort of "flash forward" moment. But when you think about it, we don't really know how far in the future it takes place.
What we do know is that by the time it's happening, Emma is infected. She has a little solo in it singing about how Paul is pining over a barista
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And we know that this is meant to be an infected Emma specifically. Lauren had other characters in the show, if they wanted to avoid the Emma implication they would've just dressed her as one of those.
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So we know this is meant to be Emma.
And Emma isn't infected until the very end of the show. She's dragged off stage during the credits. So since she's infected in the opening number, we know the number takes place after the events of the show.
Another important detail is that Paul is infected before Emma. He's the one that passes it on to her.
So back to the opening number, Emma is infected. Which means by just following a simple timeline, Paul must also be infected. He should be singing and dancing, right?
But that's not what happens. Paul misses his entrance.
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If Paul is infected, then there's no reason he should be missing his entrance. Furthermore, if he's a part of a hive mind, there's no reason other members of the same hive mind shouldn't know where he is. They are literally all connected by one brain, and yet both Mr. Davidson and Bill express they have no clue where he went.
What I'm saying is that Paul is not infected. He was infected (again, we know that because Emma is infected and he was infected before her) but now he's not anymore.
I'm saying there's a way out of the hive, and Paul found it. That's the only explanation that makes sense given the facts of the situation. Sometime after the events of tgwdlm, Paul is able not only to break out the hive mind, but to hide from it.
And if he broke out, others could do the same. Maybe even Emma.
Edit because a countertheory has emerged: Yes it's possible that everyone is infected the entire time and the show itself is just Pokey replaying the events for the fun of it. But it seems unlikely to me. First of all, each of the Lords in Black has a distinct personality. They all are evil, but within that they seems to fall somewhere on a spectrum of "silly billy" to "prick." For example, Tinky is more of a silly billy. He toys with humans without much of a motive and more for just shits and giggles. But in every instance, Pokey's more on the extreme side of prick.
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He's one of the few with an actual motive behind what he does. In Yellowjacket, it's confirmed that Pokotho hates the sound of anyone's voice except for his own. The events of TGWDLM don't happen because Pokey is bored, they happen because he is executing a plan. So I don't think that he would just have them play out their little scenario just to entertain him, especially just one small island? I just feel like he'd be more focused on world domination.
If the theory is that all this is happening after Pokey's already taken over the whole world, no one was successful in stopping him, then yes it's plausible, but still weird. There are a strange amount of things in that show you just think an eldritch god wouldn't include.
Edit 2: New evidence has emerged???
The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is loosely based off of Invasion of The Body Snatchers. Paul's last name is even a nod to the main character, Matthew. At the end of the film, Matthew survives, and continues living among the infected, pretending to be one of them. And wouldn't that be just such a fun little parallel...
Obviously it doesn't prove anything but the source material doesn't lie folks.
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cvnt4him · 2 months ago
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Izuku with overly touchy best friend and just freaking tf out cause poor boy doesn’t know how to take it. Do what you want with it :)
This is gonna be SO fun to write oh em geeee!!
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Izuku isn't used to alot of physical contact. Like don't get me wrong he was loved as a child, kind of, like his mom hugged him often gave him kisses often n yk. Because of that he holds like simple things like hugs and holding hands to heart. He always dreams about doing that with someone, he just always figured he wouldn't get to. Most girls never batted an eyelash at him let alone even THOUGHT about him, whenever a girl walked up to him it was always for katsuki. So he just always assumed girls didn't really like him.
Izuku was fine with that, he was more focused on becoming a hero anyways. When he met you though his life changed and turned upside down. You were so sweet and kind, kind of competitive but still a nice person. You had your moments when you could be mean but who doesn't? Izuku quickly realized he loved being around you.
Upon hanging out and getting closer, he realized how touchy you were. Not just simple little pats on the back or like head rubs, which you definitely did, more like hugging him and holding onto him ALOT or like touching random parts on his body. At first it took izuku by surprise, and made him kind of uncomfortable even. He didn't want to tell you to stop however because it's not like he HATED it. Plus he decided to think about it deeper, y'know make it personal, he thought maybe you didn't get love at home or maybe this was how you expressed yourself. Of course those could be reasons but they also might not be.
The first time you did it you had randomly hugged him in class, he was talking to someone about something and you literally just walked up and wrapped your arms around his body. He stopped talking so quickly, becoming a stuttery blushy mess. The stares he had started to get from his peers, something suggestive hiding behind their eyes. It made him even more flustered, his whole body was hot and he felt like he was sweating, he could smell your body spray on you and it went straight to his now throbbing cock. He could not believe he had just gotten hard.
Izuku has sported many many MANY accidental boners in his life, don't get him wrong, but now it's like every time you touch him it happens. No matter how many times you touch him it'll always affect him in such ways, he gets all embarrassed and flustered his whole face flushing red. He swears it makes him uncomfortable but whenever you don't touch him it makes him sad.
One time izuku thought maybe he should initiate the touching for once, maybe you'd like it. You two were chatting in the cafeteria with friends, eating and talking about gosh knows what when suddenly he decides to be bold. He looked at your body, the way you loved when you talked, expressing yourself with your hands. It made his cheeks warm up, with a heavy gulp he slowly trickled his hand to your thigh and slightly up your skirt.
The squeak that left you had everyone worrying if you were okay, asking you if you felt alright. Your eyes shot to izuku in a confused way, what the hell was he doing?! He just looked at you with his big doe eyes and that stupid flushed face of his. He didn't know what he was doing either, but he knew he liked your flustered reaction. He figured it was your turn to get all embarrassed and shit.
“ are.. are you alright?”
The faux concern in his voice was so painfully obvious it made you scoff at his words. He gave your thigh a tight squeeze, slowly letting his calloused fingers inch their way closer to your underwear, the heat that was being created between your thighs had him shivering. He couldn't believe what he was doing, if anyone truly wanted to they could see it. He gulped down once more, applying his other hand to your forehead to check for a temperature, not that he actually cared about that.
“ you're burning up, maybe I should take you to see recovery girl.”
The fuck? There is no way he was getting away with this. Why were you letting him get away with this?! You nodded slightly, he removed his hand and stood up offering a hand for you to take. With a shaky gulp you took his scarred hand and the two of you left together, your friends still worried as you walked away.
“ what the hell was that?! Are you crazy someone could've seen!”
You tried to talk to him but nothing you were saying was actually registering to him. With no thought in mind, he pushed you against the nearest lockers and kissed you, moaning into the kiss as he sloppily tried to get his tongue in your mouth. He pulled you closer and let his hands ravish your body, letting them touch and squeeze every part of your body that they could. When his hands moved to your boobs he whimpered lowly, so many thoughts coming to his mind all perverted things hes already thought before.
“ I love when you.... mmph! push your..hah.. boobs against me when we hug..”
So many filthy things started leaving his mouth as he fondled your breasts while kissing you. His lips never leaving yours for long whilst he tried to talk. You could not believe this was actually happening. Within a second you felt his cock press up against your inner thigh, he had partner your thighs with his knee and squeezed himself in between, finding a place for him to gently grind his now aching cock into. He was literally leaking through his pants, you broke the kiss to see he was putting his cock against your thigh like some sleezy putz.
“ ngh! I'm sorry- I- I am really I am.. I just couldn't help myself.. you- you touch me in such ways and, and— what else was i supposed to do!”
Whilst desperately rutting into you he tried to excuse what he was doing, . He couldn't believe it himself that he was literally humping his best friends leg like some mangy mutt who needed to be neutered. The friction he was gaining was painful yet stimulating, it felt so good he just didn't know if he could stop. He felt so dirty but so good. Surely you wouldn't hold it against him...right?
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AN: anywyas, I'm back bay bay😼
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strangestcase · 1 year ago
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tomblr discourse in the monster high universe must be something else.
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💝​ lalalala Follow
What would I do without cherry smoothies... probably die again 💔​
🟥​ b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022
Of freaking course the frilly daywalker is a vegan 😒​ bet you do witchcraft too you dirty hippie
💝​ lalalala Follow
🝢🜊🝣🝗🜚🝰
🟥​ b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022
WTF is that lol
🟥​ b3lfrypr3pz-deactivated09182022
i t burns. wh at did you do to me .
💝​ lalalala Follow
^-^
17k notes
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🧠​ msdeadfast Follow
Ok but Dead Fast: Night of the Living (2002) has no business being considered the worst Dead Fast movie when the MCU (Murder Cinematic Universe) not only retconned his origin story to make him a virus zombie rather than a curse zombie (which throws off his entire arc about being something more than his deeds!) AND made him be allied with B.L.I.G.H.T. of all organizations because Like say what you will about NOTL and the forced heterosexual romantic plot but at least 1) it gets what makes Dead Fast a hero and 2) GIVES HIS LOVE INTEREST A PERSONALITY AND SOMETHING TO DO
🕷️ 8legscomix Follow
Literally
Also they made the villain Dr. Igorable's motivations so laughable like..... so his wife got turned into a zombie and he wants to cure her? Ok? Did she ask for it? She doesn't even have any groaning lines. Im not even a zombie but that was offensive as hell. Like in the original comics he wants to straight up undo all forms of zombism forever
🧠​ msdeadfast Follow
NO FR LIKE....... so suddenly the eugenics obsessed human is tragic because being a zombie must be such a tragedy you guyyyysssss -_- and wanting to get rid of an entire monster type is ok. I swear that movie has turned monster attitudes towards zombies back into the 80s
⚠️ mentalhealth-hazard Follow
I am not sure if I'm overstepping here but, furthermore, the addition of Pendulum to the movie was unnecesary. Stereotyping shapeshifters as untrustworthy and traitorous is something of a past era. Either leave the character behind, or change it entirely.
🧠​ msdeadfast Follow
Jackson I love you and I love your takes. but you type like a Victorian in his deathbed ;-;
⚠️ mentalhealth-hazard Follow
The MCU is so dreadful, it's irrevocably turned me into one.
#It has also substracted years off my lives.
23 notes
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🌊​ lacriatura Follow
🦈​🦐​🐠🪸​​🐡​🐟​
^ aquarium!
#lagoona's originals #ocean #sealife #ah-! so refreshing <- aesth tag
26k notes
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🔥 666firepit666 Follow
Not to vague anyone but some of you have to shut the freak up about the ocean. You don't see me making little dioramas of the Malebolge because I'm not a little cringelet like you lmao
1 note
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🌊​ lacriatura Follow
If you don't freaking love the ocean don't follow the ocean tag. Yes that goes for @666firepit666, square up and fight me if you're so brave Heath!!!!
#lagoona's originals #personal #more skulls for my skull collection!!!
10 notes
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🌙​ wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow
Day 1 no toxic doomed yuri
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🌙​ wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow
WRONG SIDEBLOG
#stop reblogging this
80k notes
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🔩​ stitchez Follow
Got a new arm! Can't wait to try it out!
🐯 ninelives Follow
try it out how 🤨​
🔩​ stitchez Follow
Building a wretched creature out of corpses, of course!
🔩​ stitchez Follow
OH that was a double entendre! You should be ashamed of yourself!
🔩​ stitchez Follow
I would never use my arms for violent purposes!
54 notes
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🔥 666firepit666 Follow
Lagoona dragged me into the pool and now my hair is out 😡​
🌙​ wolf-in-chic-clothing Follow
Skull issue.
🧠​ msdeadfast Follow
skull issue
👻​ ghostlygossip01 Follow
Skull issue. Take the L
💝​ lalalala Follow
Skull issue ^-^
🐯 ninelives Follow
skull issue lmao
🔩​ stitchez Follow
Skull issue! I dont know what that means but I'm sure it relates to your experience!
🎸​ innerdemon Follow
SKULL ISSUEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!
🔥 666firepit666 Follow
Your own cousin 🥲​
🎸​ innerdemon Follow
I AM NOT RELATED TO ANY BALD PEOPLE
105 notes
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💎​ scarab-g1rl Follow
Alright, who stole my sinister amulet?
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mcflymemes · 9 months ago
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PROMPTS FOR THE GRUMPY VS SUNSHINE TROPE *  assorted dialogue for that great dynamic between a guarded character and a warmer character, adjust as necessary
GRUMPY CHARACTER
do you ever stop smiling?
life sucks. get over it.
no one ever listens to me. at least, not until you showed up.
i didn't ask for your opinion.
there are more important things i should be dealing with.
i don't talk about my feelings with anyone.
that was a little uncalled for.
i didn't mean to talk your ear off.
i work better on my own.
what did you say to them to get them to listen?
i don't want to talk to you. in fact, i don't want to talk to anyone.
can you just leave me alone?
i never said i would help you.
you can't just talk your way out of problems.
everything was fine until you showed up.
now if you'll excuse me, i have better things to do.
what's so great about this place, anyway?
my opinion doesn't matter anyway.
i don't have time for "fun."
i just want to get this done and go home.
that's never been up to me to decide.
do you stick your head into everyone's business, or just mine?
if it's all the same to you, i'd prefer to be alone.
no one asked you to get involved.
i don't have a choice. it's my duty.
you're interrupting me again.
can we talk about this another time?
you've been listening to me talk for an hour now.
how do you stay so positive all the time?
i'm perfectly content just the way i am, thank you very much.
can't you see they're taking advantage of you?
SUNSHINE CHARACTER
i wish you would just listen to what i have to say.
i have to try and stay positive. it's the only way we get through this.
nothing good can come from constant negativity.
i believe in myself because no one else will.
i've seen what happens when the bad outweighs the good.
we just have to stay strong.
you never know what someone is going through.
i am capable of more than you give me credit for.
i don't think you're a bad person.
there's so much more to life than this.
you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
have you tried being nice to them?
a compliment goes a long way.
i choose to be kind.
i just don't see the point in staying silent.
i'm just trying to look out for you.
there's no need to be rude.
we could work together as a team. did you ever think about that?
if you need my help, i'm here for you.
you should smile more often.
i wish you would just be yourself.
for what it's worth, i like who you are now.
we don't have to fight all the time.
being soft is not a weakness.
i want to make this work between us.
despite all that, i'm still here for you.
if you ever want to talk, i'm here to listen.
you're not as bad as you make yourself seem.
i've never seen you that way.
i've come to care about you.
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madelynn-sienna · 2 months ago
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ms americana and the heartbreak prince (logan sargeant x reader)
[ navigation / requests / guidelines ]
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★ prompt : ❛❛ it's you and me, that's my whole world... ❜❜ ★ pairing : logan sargeant x reader ★ face claim : unnamed women on pinterest ★ genre : fluff and comfort ★ a/n : i wanted to release this yesterday but got a bit busy, but in light of william's announcement, i figured a happy, feel-good logan piece would be nice for fans of his out there (+ i feel really bad for him) 🥺 ★ feedback and requests are always appreciated!
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liked by yourinstagram, williamsracing, logansargeant and others
f1 🚩 Red flag in FP3 at Circuit Zandvoort as Logan Sargeant suffers a huge crash. Thankfully the Williams driver is out of the car and reports that he is doing okay, but the same cannot be said for his car.
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user1 he's making williams bleed money.
user2 he is definitely bringing in more than he costs. user3 logan's been in what four crashes already? user4 he's made them lose at least $3 million in repair work.
user5 glad he's okay!!
user6 they need to fire him.
user7 exactly, logan isn't good enough to race in formula one user8 dude roscoe or leo could probably drive better than him user9 honestly, how does he have a job atp user10 petition to fire sargeant before monza
user11 why is he still here?
user12 right? the crash was so avoidable. user13 he should have been replaced over summer break.
user14 how does his guy have any fans?
user15 he doesn't user16 mainly just fangirls who like him for his looks user17 how does he still have a car or a team?
user18 just sack him honestly
user19 guys stop saying bad things about him, i can't like everything!
user20 you got me at the first half 😂
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liked by f1, alexalbon, oscarpiastri and others
williamsracing We'd like to thank Logan for his work over the past two seasons. He will continue as a member of the Williams family and we wish him all the best for his future endeavours.
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user1 good riddance
user2 right? how did that guy have a car for this long!? user3 i mean i can drive better than logan 😂 user4 that's not too difficult uk, just don't crash 👀
user5 well done williams!
user6 took them long enough to come to their senses user7 now that they have a good car, it really was time to sack him
user8 i feel so bad 💔
user9 thank god, he's just a financial liability
user10 bye bye 😊
user11 really was about time! user12 can't wait to see colapinto in the car user13 watch him make the points in his debut race user14 that'll be so embarrassing for sargeant user15 who cares?
user16 nooooooo 🦅 🇺🇸
user17 let's go franco colapinto 🇦🇷
user18 is this really a shock to anyone?
user19 i was counting down the days after zandvoort user20 i thought they'd sack him right after that fp3 crash!
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text exchanges between y/n & logan dated 27/08.
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logansargeant added to their story.
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liked by logansargeant, lilyzneimer, oscarpiastri and others
yourinstagram there's escape in escaping.
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lilyzneimer this is so cute 💖
user1 couple goals fr fr
user2 right? i need a logan in my life 🥺 user3 why so he can crash into you? man's jobless.
logansargeant a much needed break with my favourite person ❤️
yourinstagram you deserved every second of it! logansargeant thank you for making it so special, babe. logansargeant i'm still smiling 😊 yourinstagram awww, i love you more than words can describe 💕 logansargeant not as much as i love you, but nice try 😉 user4 why are they so adorable?!?
oscarpiastri i hope you two enjoyed france, it's a beautiful place!
user4 i'm sure they did 👀 yourinstagram we had a great time, got to visit annecy too. lilyzneimer they took our suggestion osc❣️
alexalbon been to france twice in less than two months 😮
logansargeant did it without the yacht this time dude. yourinstagram its logan's new favourite country 👀 user5 what happened to mr america?! logansargeant the betrayal babe 😢
user6 they're so cute together 🫶
user7 right? we love ms americana and her heartbreak prince💜
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liked by yourinstagram, carmenmmundt, jackdoohan and others
logansargeant Couldn't be prouder, dr. l/n 🎓 ❤️
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georgerussell congratulations y/n!
yourinstagram aww, this is so cute babe - i'm going to cry 🥺
logansargeant you deserve this moment so much ❤️ logansargeant i can't wait to watch you shine as a doctor 🤩
lilymhe such a beautiful graduation 💕
alexalbon where are my photo credits logan?!? congrats y/n
logansargeant you took one picture. alexalbon which you used! yourinstagram why do i sound like an afterthought alex 😢 alexalbon sorry? 😅 yourinstagram that sounds like a question, i'm heartbroken! alexalbon you're dramatic yourinstagram well, so are you. logansargeant presenting the drama king and queen, everyone. user1 i live for the alex and y/n banter! user2 right? they are so sibling-coded.
oscarpiastri we're so proud of you, y/n!
lilyzneimer ❤️
user3 excuse me, logan's girlfriend is a doctor?!?
user4 yeah, she graduated from oxford, she's like super smart! user5 i'm so happy for her tbh
user6 love how successful they both are rn!
user7 right? logan's doing amazing in indycar rn 🤩 user8 they're honestly living the american dream user9 after all the williams and f1 drama, i'm so deserve it
user10 it's giving miss americana
user11 so demure, so mindful user12 that trend's getting so old now 😭
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liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, lilyzneimer and others
yourinstagram It's you and me, that's my whole world 💍 🫶
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user1 oh. my. god.
user2 we're finally getting mr and mrs americana🤩 user3 i can't believe she'll be mrs sargeant soon!
lilyzneimer congratulations 💕
user4 just can't take the florida out of the man
user5 i was just about to comment that! user6 this is definitely in fort lauderdale user7 they met there, so it's probably really special <3
georgerussell can't wait for the wedding mate!
alexalbon can we take a minute to appreciate my help?
logansargeant shhhhh 👀 yourinstagram go on... lilymhe please, you literally did nothing alex alexalbon i did too, i let logan borrow the marquee letters! lilymhe you let him borrow two m's and a y user8 i live for lily roasting alex in the comments 😂
oscarpiastri congrats, just saying, i expect an invitation 🥺
yourinstagram the matchmaker gets a spot on the bridal party 👀 user9 oscar introduced y/n and logan?!? user10 don't be afraid to spill the story oscar, we're all waiting...
user11 this is going to be the wedding of the year!
user12 more like the century user13 of course, it's the royal american wedding 🦅 🇺🇸
user14 i'm so happy, this has been such a good year for them
user15 right? y/n's a doctor now and logan won rookie of the year user16 what a turnaround after his f1 career user17 counting the days till they're begging him to return user18 his replacements haven't even bagged any points 😂
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liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, lilyzneimer and others
yourinstagram I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover...
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logansargeant you made me the luckiest man alive, mrs sargeant ❤️
logansargeant or should i say dr sargeant 👀 yourinstagram not as lucky as i am mr sargeant 💕 yourinstagram or should i say indycar drivers' champion 😉
oscarpiastri so happy for the two of you!
lilyzneimer what a beautiful wedding ❤️
user1 you can't just drop a whole wedding with no warning 😭
user2 right? like i'm going to need 2-3 days to recover user3 i love how they were able to keep a whole wedding hidden user4 exactly, i'm glad they got some privacy.
alexalbon and best man of the year goes to...
oscarpiastri me! alexalbon the lies, the outrage, we both know it was me 😮 oscarpiastri please. alexalbon y/n, logan, what's the verdict? yourinstagram i plead the fifth! logansargeant what she said. alexalbon traitors.
user5 y/n's the prettiest bride i've ever seen 💕
user6 and logan's the most handsome groom! user7 they really are a match made in heaven. user8 i'm so, so happy for them!
user9 these pictures are so cute
user10 definitely the wedding of the year 💖
user11 that dip is so extra, but we love it 💙
user12 presenting miss americana and her heartbreak prince!
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liked by yourinstagram, georgerussell, estebanocon and others
logansargeant I was enchanted to meet you❣️
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yourinstagram the best christmas gift ever ❤️
logansargeant absolutely, i couldn't have asked for anything more logansargeant thank you for giving me this opportunity darling 💕 yourinstagram couldn't have done it without you love 💖 alexalbon they may be all love dovey here, but that's all lies alexalbon y/n threatened logan so many times during labour 😂 lilymhe cut my girl some slack, you'll have a broken hand if you put me through that kind of pain 😠 alexalbon but babies? 🥺 user1 we all know who's sleeping on the sofa tonight...
oscarpiastri so who do we have a godfather in mind?
alexalbon we both know it's going to be me. oscarpiastri i'm just saying, i am more responsible alexalbon for the 100th time, i didn't lose my cousin oscarpiastri no, you just misplaced him in a massive crowd 👀 user2 i didn't know i needed alex and oscar banter in my life.
user3 awww, the baby is so adorable
user4 right? logan and y/n make such cute babies user5 i wonder what they've named the baby... user6 we all know it's going to be the most american name ever!
user7 congratulations!
georgerussell amazing news guys! can't wait to meet her 💕
estebanocon Félicitations à vous deux!
・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚
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logansargeant I am incredibly excited to announce that i'll be returning to formula one in the coming season to drive for Haas. I would like to thank Andretti for giving me three phenomenal seasons with IndyCar and two drivers championships. I wouldn't be here without your help and guidance. This a dream come true for me, and I cannot appreciate my wife enough for all the sacrifices she has made and love and support she has showered me with in the last seven years. I am who I am today because of her.
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yourinstagram so proud of you logan, i love you ❤️
logansargeant you mean the world to me, i love you so much 💕
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nana-gumi · 7 months ago
Text
my heart belongs to.. who? g.satoru
pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader
cw: heavy angst, mentions of death, mentions of cremation, depression, starvation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of self-harming, please read at your own risk!! NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN HELP (i'm sleepy alr but i want to update TvT)
a/n: here's the part two of the 'anyway, don't be a stranger.' yes the title has changed. also based from a song a piece of you by nathaniel constantin. that's all, enjoy reading ;) PLS NOTIFY ME IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS!! THANK YOU <3
now that you had lost your only strength to continue living, what should you do now?
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satoru doesn't know why something in him ached when he randomly spotted his best friend, his dear best friend, suguru with you, on a random place and at a random time.
your backs were turned to him but he surely didn't like the way you cling to his best friend, it hurts him in many ways he couldn't explain but, satoru knew too well that he doesn't have the rights to feel that way, that's because every pain and sorrow that has happened to his life would be different if he didn't do that one big mistake.
ever since the divorce, satoru never saw you again. you left and none of the people you knew where you've gone to. satoru thought it was for the best that you should be away from him because the moment he feels vulnerable again, he would look for your presence, even though you weren't together anymore.
although sometimes, satoru do hope that you didn't run away from him. he wanted to fix everything, to apologize, to try things with you again. he never wanted anyone other than you. you were the only person that could see his other sides, the only person who knew him very very well, the only person he wanted to grow old with but everything was too late already.
he shouldn't have listened to you when you pushed him away and there, he would've never saw the pain look in your face when both of you separated your ways, he would've never saw the way you tried to stop yourself from crying infront of him, and he would've never saw the way you accepted to keep your wedding rings so desperately as if he would still be around you if you keep it.
satoru regretted every decision he made up until now, it was all of his fault, it was his fault why you had to leave, everything was his fault, you didn't have a choice because of him and he hoped that you've already forgave him for that. he really hoped so.
because of the heavy thoughts, satoru didn't know why his feet brought him to his best friend's apartment. maybe to ask how you were doing? are you still single? do you have a new lover now? was it suguru? are you both dating? oh gosh, he hoped not. it could be anyone but his best friend.
"(name) trusted you with it suguru, you shouldn't break your promise." satoru suddenly stopped on his tracks. that was shoko's voice, he was sure of it.
"but, don't you think he still has the right to know? satoru's the father after all."
"you're right though but—"
"what did you just say?" both eyes were widened at the sudden appearance as satoru revealed himself from hiding as he went closer to his best friends.
"when did you—"
"i'm the father? what do you mean?" satoru asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and suguru looked away from him. satoru could recognize the worried look of his best friend's face. "shoko?"
"well.." she mumbled, looking at suguru.
"are you hiding something from me?" satoru asked.
"it's not like that—" shoko said.
"then why do you both look nervous?"
"satoru." suguru called as he felt shoko's hand stop him and she shake her head left to right. "i'm sorry, but he needs to know."
"needs to know what? come on."
"satoru, you had a child, with (name)." and he couldn't be more surprised as he looked at suguru, lost and confused.
"what?"
"yeah, unfortunately, sanyu is—"
"stop." satoru said as he placed a hand on his temples. "is this some kind of prank? therefore, it's not funny."
"satoru, i'm not lying." suguru said, his expression blank.
"no. that's— that would be impossible.."
"go talk with her, satoru. heh, in the end, i couldn't keep my promise to her, huh?" suguru said as he placed a hand on his nape. "i'll send you the address, go." and satoru didn't waste any more time as he walked towards the front door but suguru stopped him again. "satoru." he called and suguru almost laughed at the worried and somehow excited look on his best friend's face. it's been a while since he saw that.
"what?" satoru said, cleary annoyed and impatient as suguru lightly smiled at him.
"be gentle with her, she's still vulnerable." satoru didn't get what suguru meant by that as he finally left, following the map where suguru had sent him.
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you knew this day would've eventually come as you stand face to face with your ex-husband, he was panting and you were just about to go back home from the convenience store.
"(name).." he whispered your name as he took a step close to you, another one, and then another one as he started sprinting, embracing you in his arms and no one knew how much he missed feeling you around his arms. you let him embrace you but you stopped yourself from doing the same thing, you just stood there.
"why are you here?" you asked as satoru pulled away, his sleeve flying on his eyes as he slightly rubbed it. he was about to tear up.
"is it true?" satoru asked and he hoped you get what he meant with the question as you slowly nod your head.
"let's go inside my home first. it's getting cold here. i'll tell you everything there."
and there both of you ended up inside your home as satoru quietly inspected the surroundings. there was your picture and his son hanging on the wall.
"here." you said, handing him a glass of water. "i'm guessing suguru told you?"
"no. i actually overheard them."
"i see."
"so, where's.. um— can i see our child?" he asked and your heart ached at his question. you thought suguru told him already?
satoru didn't know what to do you when you started sobbing as you covered your face with your palms.
"you can't." you mumbled, wiping your tears as you look down on your lap.
"i understand.. but if you're—"
"you can't, satoru. we can't—"
"i know. i know you still don't trust me but i promise i will—"
"he's gone, satoru! don't you understand it? he's gone, he's dead, we can't see him anymore!" you exclaimed. everything was just overwhelming and you didn't mean to yell at him. "i'm sorry." you mumbled, once again, covering your face with your hands as you cry.
you felt his presence beside you as he wrapped his arms around you. he didn't know what else to do and satoru thought being close to you will help, being close to you will maybe help his almost shattering soul.
"i'm sorry." satoru said as he felt your arms around him. was this suguru meant when you were still vulnerable. he should've asked suguru to be more clear so there, satoru would know how to comfort you very well.
"i'm sorry, satoru. i kept him away from you when he wanted to see you. i should've pushed aside my own feelings and let sanyu meet you but i just couldn't, and now guilt is eating me up. it's my fault he couldn't see his papa on his last days. it was his last wishes but—"
"shh, stop it already. it's okay. don't blame yourself."
"i'm really sorry." no. satoru told himself he doesn't deserve your apologies and thinks everything was his fault to begin with.
"it was my fault that i couldn't be there for you. for our son. i deserve all the blame." satoru said as you slightly pulled away from him as you wiped your tears.
"it's not your fault either. sanyu was born with a weak heart. i couldn't protect him with that, no?" you said as you placed your hands on your lap.
"when we met at the parking lot, was that?.." you nodded your head in response as you recalled that day.
"that was the day after sanyu died." you mumbled and satoru couldn't help but clench his jaw. if only he knew.
satoru snapped out of his thoughts when he felt you sit up from the couch as you kneeled infront of the small table, taking something beneath it as you went back beside him.
"come, i'll show you his pictures." you said as you smiled at him and satoru couldn't help but mirror you. just for now, maybe you both could be happy, even just for now.
-
"he even cut his own hair, look!" you exclaimed, pointing a certain picture as satoru laughed with you.
he missed a lot things. when you were carrying his child, when his son was born, when his son was growing up. he wasn't there to witness everything and he almost– no, he regrets it so so much.
"i almost dyed his hair black 'cause he reminds me of you so much." you sighed as you closed the album, finally reaching its end as you place it on the table.
"we really do look like each other." satoru said as you lightly smile at him.
"you're not wrong." you responded and suddenly, it became silent.
"i'm sorry (name)." he started as you stayed still in your position. "i tried looking for you." he continued as he held your hand on his with you still avoiding to look at him. "why didn't you tell me before?" he said and that's what made you look at him. is he seriously asking you that?
"i don't know, satoru. do you?" you asked and he was completely taken aback.
"you should definitely go home now, someone might be waiting for you.." you said as you stand up from the couch, only for him to stop you by your wrist.
you looked at him for a moment and he did too. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as your hand slowly slipped out of his grasp and you turned your back at him.
"if you want to know more about sanyu, just ask."
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it's been a week since you and satoru talked things out. it felt good to be able to talk everything with him. you thought at some point that satoru will hate you even more for not informing him about his son's existence but it was the opposite.
and maybe, you shouldn't have stalked his social and there you wouldn't stumble on his ex' account, because you never knew that it would hurt you this much, that it would hurt your already, broken heart.
you felt some type of jealousy seeing his family be happy in those pictures. they even went on a trip, on different places and many more. satoru looked happy. maybe if those mistakes were prevented back then, it would be you, him and sanyu.
there were missed calls and unread messages from suguru and shoko but you didn't have the energy to reply to each of them.
you just wanted to lay in your bed all day, almost wishing that sanyu would knock at your door asking for a help with his assignment, but no, it wouldn't happen anymore. you were all alone now, you'll never be able to feel happiness again, everything felt too empty for you to feel any type of emotions except for sorrow.
-
your eyes slowly opened when you felt something cold in your forehead.
"you're finally awake."
"what happened?" you asked as you tried to sit up from the bed, only for satoru to push you back.
"don't stand up yet. you passed out on the living room. you've been sleeping for a day already. are you eating? don't starve yourself." he talks too fast that you almost didn't catch his words.
"why are you here?" you asked.
"well.. i guess i want to know more about sanyu." he said as he hesitantly looked at you. "i'm sorry for walking around your house without your permission but, i saw a small shrine on the room beside here. is that sanyu's?" satoru asked as you nod at him.
"i forgot to tell you but i had sanyu cremated."
"okay, i understand."
"you can visit him anytime if you want."
"that would be great. thank you."
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satoru did visit once a week. you noted that it was always on thursdays, just like suguru had told you that satoru's always available on thursdays.
your house would be messy if satoru wasn't around but if you knew that he'll be visiting, you'll force yourself to clean the house. you didn't want him to see you in worst state again, not anymore. he didn't have to know that you were starving yourself, that you would only eat when he brings you food.
he doesn't need to know. not that he would care, right? satoru is not in the position to care for you after all. he only visits for his son, it's wasn't because of you. maybe you should stop being delusional and face the reality that satoru and you couldn't work together anymore. he already has a family on his own. he has nothing to do with you anymore. a part of you is still hoping though but then again, he doesn't need to know.
there was a time where satoru visited you on tuesday. it was unexpected that he caught you almost hurting yourself. house and room messy.
it hurts him to see you like this. he couldn't help but to compare the old you to the you now. a big difference. he doesn't see you smile anymore. he doesn't hear your laugh anymore.
"you needn't to hurt yourself, okay? tell me if i can help in any way." he said as you sit on the couch, knees close to your chest as you stare at nothing.
your thoughts was playing with you because all of the sudden, you recalled everything that has happened between you and satoru. his mistakes, his wrongdoings, his happy family. your blood started to boil and you couldn't help but blame him in your mind. that it was his fault why sanyu have to suffer.
"hey, i know it still hurting you but—"
"you know nothing!" you exclaimed which took him off guard. he was unfamiliar with that look in your face.
"(name), calm down." he said as he tried to reach for you, only for you to slap his hand away.
"shut up! don't order me around! can you just leave my house?" you yelled. "this is all your fault." you mumbled and satoru heard it loud and clear. you weren't wrong though. "leave! i don't want to see you anymore. i hate you."
-
and even if you push him as many times as you want, satoru would not lose hope. he still visits you and sanyu. though he took note of the changes in your mood sometimes.
satoru visited late than usual. you already fell asleep on the couch. you swore you weren't waiting for him or something. it just happened that you got tired from the cleaning the house.
after the usual visit of you and satoru in your child's room both decided to eat the food he brought.
"sorry i was late. i had a hard time choosing a ring—" he cuts off himself with a fake cough as he looked away from you. "anyway, sorry for making you wait."
"it's fine. thank you for bringing me food."
"of course."
today, you seemed a lot more good now. satoru can notice you smile everytime. he didn't want to assume that you're smiling because of him though.
"is there something wrong?" he asked when he noticed you staring at him.
"i'm fine. thank you for visiting." you said as you walked satoru at the front door. "oh wait." you said, walking back to your room as satoru stood still on the front door and you went back after a minute.
"take this." you said, handing him a certain necklace.
"for me?" satoru said, taking the necklace in your hand.
"i asked them to put a little bit of sanyu ashes inside. you can't open that anymore since they locked it." satoru's eyes widened at your words.
"thank you." he said as you smiled at him.
"here, let me help." you said, as you wear the necklace on him. "sanyu will always be by your side, wherever you are." you said as you smiled and suddenly, satoru turned around, his face was too close to you and you think he could almost hear on how loud your beating heart is.
you awkwardly took a step back as you cleared your throat to ease the awkward tension.
"thank you (name), really. i will treasure this." he said as you smiled at him, for the last time.
"sorry for yelling at you sometimes, satoru."
"don't worry, i understand. just let me know if you want to release some stress. i'll try my best to help." he said and despite of answering, you only smiled, again.
"thank you, satoru. sanyu was the best son i could ever have." you said and he suddenly placed a hand on your head. like how he always does before as he leaned to your level.
"thank you for raising our child." he said as you look at him with widened eyes and you couldn't help but frown as you place a hand close to your chest.
stop giving me false hope, satoru.
"take care." you couldn't help but tear up as you whispered those words as satoru left. be happy, always. even if it's without me.
"i had a hard time choosing a ring." you mumbled, mimicking his words.
you smiled but what you were feeling inside was opposite. maybe you shouldn't expect too much because in the end, if reality didn't reach your expectations, it'll just hurt you more.
it really hurts to think that you made a man for another woman but, it is what it is. you're just glad that satoru seemed to cherish his new family now.
he did changed a lot, huh.
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"satoru."
"be quick, suguru. i'm a bit busy right now." satoru said as he heard his best friend sigh at the other line.
"did (name) said something to you?" satoru immediately sat properly on his office chair when he heard your name.
"nothing much. she gave me a necklace though, why?"
"i see. look, if you have time today come in her house."
"why? what happened?"
"do you have a time today, at least?"
"i guess i could try." satoru said. "is there something wrong with (name)." satoru asked and there was a long pause from suguru's end before he answered.
-
satoru went back from what it seemed like a long trip as he sat on his office chair.
he stared at a certain velvet box on his table. his black glasses was discarded as he lightly move the office chair left to right.
he did had a hard time choosing a ring. he doesn't know of you still like the same design. did you change your preferences?he doesn't know that's why satoru bought a limited edition ring for you. he was told that the ring brings luck and now he just wanted to throw the ring in the middle of an ocean.
"brings luck my ass." he muttered. he was too tired to think. he refused to believe suguru's words because he just saw you 2 days ago. was suguru playing pranks on him again?
"she's been found in her room. unalive." suguru's words kept repeating inside his head like a broken radio as he clutched the necklace on his hand.
he was supposed to ask you to start over again, to try things out again, from there, he swore that he wouldn't do the same mistake again but it was all too late now.
maybe the universe didn't want you and him to be together again that's why they took you away from him, his son too. he knew he did mistakes back then but was it too much that they have to take his family away forever?
yeah, this must be his punishment for doing those unforgiving things to you.
-
"suguru, do you think (name) would agree if i ask her to start over again?"
"there's nothing wrong with trying, satoru, but know that people tend to change. don't be surprised when she doesn't want you in her life anymore." suguru said as his best friend kept quiet. "but what about them?"
"who?"
"your ex and your son."
"i couldn't care less about her, but i still cherish sanyu since he grew up with me, even if he's not my legal child."
"you don't really want to tell (name) about it?" suguru suggested and satoru couldn't help but think if he could do what his best friend is suggesting.
"what's the point? will it change everything?" satoru mumble, an ache going straight to his chest. "it hurts for me to say this but i only accepted to raise sanyu because i couldn't stop thinking of (name), of having a family with her. i forced myself to believe that he's our son. i didn't even know that (name) is actually carrying our child."
"why don't you just sue your ex for paternity fraud?"
"there's no point in it. she's still sanyu's mother."
"you're too nice, satoru."
no, he wasn't. in fact, he almost sent his ex to prison but he couldn't stop thinking of how sanyu will react if he found out that his mother was sent to jail by his father. he was too young for those things.
but satoru asks himself, why? why does he have to do these things? why does he have to think of how sanyu would feel? they weren't relatives anyway. he could take everything he spent for raising sanyu, he could just leave them to live their own life, but he just couldn't do it.
"if only i could go back in time." satoru mumbled and suguru didn't know what do respond to that anymore. if only.
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tags: @skylarlyn823 @mo0nforme @mor-pheus @he4rts444mi @bubblysunwoosworld @arieltate @imaniitheoneee @kaiiriiis @ichikanu @witchbybirth @yoimiya-m @hojoslutoru @itsvalomfg I COULDN'T TAG THE OTHERS SORRY TvT
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