#I don't necessarily think it was the intent

[jjwolves]

LIVING WAGE ➽───────────────❥

What: 5 Headcanons of ENA the Worker X Reader Who Doubts Her Sincerity

Who: ENA the Worker from ENA Dream BBQ (By Joel G)

How Much: ~1800 words, ~9 mins

Credits: Image Banner -> Joel G, Comm -> @namosaga <3<3<3

Warnings: Profanity

When had you started thinking you loved her? Was it when you hired her to unlock that damn taxi you were stuck inside and she screamed so hard into her megaphone that the doors imploded out of the universe? Was it when she picked you up off the ground and dusted you off--that kind of simple act of politeness you made for people who tipped extra well? Or was it when, much later, she kept you company on your quest to get the Frigid Transistor and animatedly chattered about "pitching a tent to father nature's board of representatives". Maybe it was how she looked when you talked to her, an understanding, crimson smile which bent her eye. And the way she always remembered what you said, even weeks (if weeks even existed anymore) apart. "Quit looking at me like as if I shouldn't remember! You said it, didn't you?! Your own words obviously don't mean much to you if you throw 'em away right after you use 'em!! LITTERBUG!! If I'm on memory duty, you'll need to start paying me more." Even if she was being a bit rough around the edges, you appreciated her clumpy-sugar-with-rocks-in-it style sweetness. Although, the last part made your chest tighten a little--which was odd. You weren't sure if you even had organs anymore, for one, but mostly you startled at the idea ENA laid out, joking or not. Realizing that you loved her was a bump over the head, but realizing that she might need extra compensation to stay around was a concussion. Just like that, the simple bliss of lovely daydreams from afar had taken on a new dimension you didn't want to look too hard at. Somewhere, the blossom petals flowing about in the air deepened and darkened in negative color.

"Oh my. You look prepared for an aristocratic seminar. Of course, I know there's no seminar. That's what makes your style so very choice. Unless you're going to host one right now?" A smooth titter. Once again, ENA picked up on things that you thought would go straight over her head. You nervously straighten your tie, the small figures of ancient warriors painted on it shaking fists at you for temporarily throwing their world off-kilter. You say that you enjoy being presentable. It's not necessarily a lie, but your deepest intention is to impress a certain bi-colored worker. It's impossible to know if she's predicting the trend of your intentions and just hasn't shown you the wares yet, or if the data has gone in her eyes and out through her hat. That is, until she slyly points it out, voice dripping with her own brand of suavity. "I'm flattered that you're dressing for two. Although... Shouldn't I be the one getting stylish for my most beloved customer?" A playful elbow makes you wonder if you're receiving a hint or an off-brand red herring. You're sure of one thing: there was never such a nuisance of a word such as customer.

You start using the pretense of business to test the waters with ENA. The results are... inconclusive. You hire her for tasks that you may or may not have fabricated just to see her for a little longer--offering money in exchange for helping you find, say, your family's prized "tuning paperclip". You suppose that she's likely been on the receiving end of much stranger requests, considering she doesn't bat a rhomboid eye at the idea that you two need to "wait" together at a restaurant for your treasured paperclip to "return" to you, and that you needed her help "waiting". "You can rest assured that you've made a safe investment. We'll get your prized paper pincher back ASAP. Yesterday!" Little did she know that you had the paperclip you spraypainted gold in your back pocket in case you needed to pretend that you found it. There's no time to dwell on your hidden desperation, though, when ENA is sitting next to you and willing to kill some time. For some reason, she actually took her hat off before coming in. Your favorite polygon begins drumming her fingers on the table, and when you look at her, you swear her eye flits away from your face at the last second. Maybe she was staring, maybe you were just hoping too hard. Something about the air of the restaurant, rich with the sound of the ceiling-ocean occasionally letting go of a brief rain, felt like ENA was waiting for you to say something. And so it went for a while... This newfound anxiety made it impossible to begin a conversation without inspecting it from every angle before it was out of your mouth. You would have liked to have tried, if ENA hadn't let out a surprised boop and deftly pilfered the faux heirloom out of your back pocket the moment she noticed its sparkle. She held it out for inspection, top of her face subtly shadowed over. "Are you fucking serious? This is your heirloom? You sure know how to inherit 'em." ENA carelessly tossed the paperclip onto the table and stood up before you could get a word in, try to apologize, try to explain. Beg, maybe. "And here I really thought... Well, either way, I'm done wasting my time here. Consider this stupid job completed." She was out the door before you could muster an ounce of courage.

You suppose you could have taken that for an answer. It was obvious that ENA was annoyed that you'd wasted her time--you'd stepped over the line drawn for anyone performing a service as an act of exchange. It was clear. And yet, you felt like something was left unresolved with your parting. Maybe a stairway to heaven had broken off, fallen into your brain and dream-angels had taken it over, but you were gripped with the sense that every conversation, laugh, even interaction had been real. If it was about money at first, ENA had really cared for you once she got to know you nonetheless, and you were too busy spiraling to see it. You remembered when you helped her move a jade slab and how her hand lingered on your shoulder. The time she brought turron for you unprompted. You remembered the odd silence at the restaurant. What if she was waiting for you the whole time? Somewhere, a clock's ticking hand freezes and traps a flower petal. You should settle this once and for all.

You do everything you can to meet with ENA again, even if you can't find her available for hire at the Hub. You pester the Receptionist, interrogate Froggy, yell at a cactus, bother Coral Glasses for Blood ID. The last option is the only one that yields any results: directions to the Bed Door. Not long after, you're knocking on the door of some sort of burned-out shell of an old Japanese home beneath a blood red sky. Clouds of fleas fly about overhead. From the inside, you can hear shouting. "I'M OFF, YOU HEAR ME! OFF!" A pause as an angular eye scrutinizes you through the peephole. Your patience is rewarded with a door swinging open to reveal a tired-looking ENA, crimson smile brittle as a disembodied arm holds her head in place. "Well, hello there." An expression you're not used to seeing on her, of eyes downcast, slips onto her face. "I suppose there's something else you want me to do. Sorry to inform you, but I'm off today. It is a weekend, and on weekends, there's no days left to work lest you fall into the time-end; quite hazardous--ahem. I'm unavailable." You steady yourself for a moment before releasing the burning truth: The whole restaurant thing, the awkward little moments on all of your jobs--you were just nervous. "Ah. 'Nervous.' I'm sure someone sells something for that around here." You asked her why she was holding her head in place. "Ha. You see, I'd rather not launch into uncouth behavior and say something that'd damage our professional relationship. We, heh, have a nice thing going. Right?" You sigh and lean against a wooden beam. You say that you want to hear what's on her mind--not as a customer or reviewer or anything, just as someone who knows her. Someone who's... sorry they're so bad at saying what they need to. ENA allows herself to spin into a quiet fury, kicking her door further open and storming outside, angrily pacing about. "I just--You! GHH! You made a fool outta me! I was waiting for you to say something--do something! Anything! But you didn't do shit!" Shrinking under ENA's presence, you admitted that you were nervous because you liked her. ENA's eyes widen. Hell, you like her a lot. You were just too nervous--you didn't want to overstep boundaries or make it seem like she had to as an employee, and you thought that maybe she was just flirting to be friendly to a customer, and... ENA put a hand to your mouth to shut you up, gruff voice ripping through your ears. "Just shut up for a second. What you're saying... I don't... I was waiting for you to say something. How obvious do I have to be?! Do I have to light a star balloon on fire and wave it around?! And that restaurant, g0d, I can't stand the fact that you didn't even try to spend time or anything. FLAKE! I thought we were starting to-!! And flirting to be friendly?! Would I be talking to you like this right now if I was a PUSHOVER?! You have some nerve!" ENA grabbed you by the collar and you couldn't bring yourself to look away as ENA bit down on each word with gnashing teeth. "There, feelings all out on the floor?! Enough PR bullshit, you owe me a date. And oh, I'M paying by the way. Are you better now?! Can you function for once?! I can't be any clearer, buddy." Your favorite polygon shoved you off her porch. "Put on that suit from earlier--you know which one--and meet me at the same place in 26.9 minutes, worm! GET TO IT!" And just like that, she was swallowed by the darkness of her house and her door was slammed in your face as she stomped upstairs to get ready. Your head was heavy with swirling thoughts, mainly: Was that all it took this whole time? and I better get home and change ASAP. Yesterday.

A/N: I hope it lives up to expectations! The idea is slow burn-oriented, so the story ends up being a little longer than normal.

A/N: A story where Meanie gets shit done in a merciless streak of productivity. My PC is about to die OK gn :o)

[delicateperspective]

You seem to be one of the few old timers left around here (I mean that in a complimentary way). What keeps you thinking that HL are still together? Public opinion seems to be uncertain or swaying towards broke up in the last couple of years. I'm unsure myself so I was just wondering what stuff have you seen in the last little while that keeps you thinking they're together?

i think the difference between me and a lot of old timers is that i was never super active in the fandom. i wasn’t here every day expecting some big coming out or watching their every move with a microscope. (that kind of thing will make you burn out so easily. or make you bitter or jaded when it doesn't go the way you were hoping.) i’ve always just… observed. quietly. connecting dots, sure, but mostly just paying attention and staying open.

when they were younger, it felt like they were constantly trying to show us something. sometimes recklessly so. they were messy and bold and emotional—honestly, sometimes painfully obvious—and we were dissecting every inch of it in real time. some of what they showed was intentional. some of it wasn’t. but we saw it all because we were looking so closely.

but they’ve grown up. and they’ve asked us, in their own ways, to grow up too. I just don’t think they feel the need to signal things the way they used to. the stakes are different. their needs are different.

covid changed them. they’ve both said as much. they started pulling back, setting boundaries, learning how to protect themselves. not to punish anyone, not necessarily even to hide anything, but to preserve whatever peace they could find. (let's be clear: i am not saying i think that this shift was voluntary closeting. more "they don't need a selfie of me shirtless in bed with sex hair" - looking at you mr. tomlinson - .)

i also don’t see them through rose-colored glasses. i don’t think it’s been one long fairytale since 2010. i think it’s been messy and painful and complicated. i think there were breakups. mistakes. betrayals. moments they probably thought it was over. i think they���re just… human. two people who got thrown into a machine way too young and have spent years trying to survive it and maybe even find their way back to each other through it.

so i don’t need proof. not in the way i used to. i don’t need matching tattoos or instagram crumbs. it's in the way they move. the way certain choices don’t make sense unless you factor each other in.

maybe that’s naive. maybe it’s projection. maybe i’m wrong. but what keeps me here is that i haven't seen anything that makes me think it's over. and not in a “someday they’ll tell us” way. just… in the way that love endures even when it’s not on display.

[nutmegtales]

--- not story just me talking

I was actually going to put this in the replies like a normal and well adjusted person but actually it turns out I have more to say on this than would fit in a reply so!

Thank you @sexyt-a-r-d-i-s11 for giving me the opportunity to talk about Babs in this situation.

I think that in this story Babs is absolutely over worked and overwhelmed, and really does need to step away and regain her bearings. She sees and deals with hundreds of awful and distressing situations literally every day, and in order to keep herself going and effective she has had to distance herself from these cases. She is absolutely not giving this situation the time and thought it really needs to be properly understood and dealt with. But then she is having to make decisions and fail safes for so so many things all the time, it's become easy for her to see a potential threat and follow the course of action that would be safest without necessarily digging in to determine what's actually best.

In Danny's case specifically she actually hasn't seen any hard proof yet that he was telling the truth, what she has seen has actually only reinforced her narrative of the situation. There is a young Meta with a significant mental instability who has expressed resentment towards someone she personally respects and relies on, as well as a desire or intent to murder someone which he has essentially just followed through on.

She doesn't see Danny the Halfa hounded by vengeful ghosts. She sees Danny the Meta with possible paranoid delusions that just essentially committed a murder.

She calls Jason not only because she knows he needs the news about the Joker, but also because... She's not certain. She made a call on this situation and everything she's seen has reinforced to her that it was the right decision but... What if she was wrong? And so she calls Jason and she doesn't just tell him the Joker is all but dead, no she shows Jason the footage himself so that he can get fresh eyes on the situation. Their relationship is tenuous, but she does trust him to do what's right.

If this were a longer fic, I would probably have a part further in the story exploring how Babs is forced to reflect on her decisions and how they enabled the suffering of this Kid for Months. I'd likely have her struggle with the weight of that guilt as they get to know Danny, and make this a turning point for her where she takes steps to reduce her work load and exposure to horrible situations, have her actively work to regain her bearings and judgement and put in place mechanisms to prevent her becoming so numbed and blind to these things.

At this point I don't think I'll be taking the story that far though so 🤷 have this little character exploration I guess!

Fucking Clowns - Part 4 Favours

"look, I'm only telling you this as a personal favour" things hadn't been great between Jason and the rest of the bats. Even the ones that didn't belong to Bruce. The hesitation was clear in Babs voice over the line, but the fact she called at all meant something.

"I'm listening" Jason tried his best to make himself sound sincere, and thankful for the effort that was clearly being made. He heard Babs sigh on the other end of the line and the brief tap of fingers on a keyboard "watch that clip I just sent you"

Jason clicked open the video and watched the flickering screen as it showed a room, maybe a hospital room, with a single occupant seemingly sleeping. He watched as the door opened and The Fucking Joker entered the room. He felt his stomach drop and his heart rate spike. Oh fuck, was he about to see... To see another... Oh fuck. He swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat as the joker made it fully into the room and the occupant finally seemed to notice.

He watched as the figure on the bed rose, saw it was just some kid, he looked so much like Tim. God please don't let this be Tim. Please, please, please. Don't let this be happening.

He watched as the kids face scrunched in absolute hatred, a snarl on his lips, and... Was that ice? Yeah, yeah he's pretty sure that's ice freezing the door closed behind the Joker.

He watched as the kid began to sob and scream and Wail. A visible torrent of Something rushing from the kids body and mouth and crashing into the joker, who looked frozen in abject terror. It wasn't just the kid on the screen now either, a rush of double images, barely there people, barrelled into and through the Joker.

Jason had never seen such fear in the jokers eyes before.

And then it was over, the kid lay back down on his bed and seemed to go back to sleep. But the joker appeared locked in that state of terror.

The film went on for a while longer just like that, the seconds ticking by until the video finally ended.

Now that. That was unexpected. That was... Fucking hilarious. Was that real? Did the joker just get.... Did some random fucking kid just... Fucking hell that's hilarious!

Jason cut off his laughter long enough to ask "Where's the kid now I gotta congratulate him" he could hear Babs hesitate on the other end and his mood dropped suddenly "Babs... ? Babs Where's the kid now" he tried not to growl at her.

"In Arkham Jason. He was a patient there. Commited for paranoid delusions and self harm. Claimed he... Claimed he'd died and was being haunted by vengeful ghosts trying to convince him to reap revenge on the joker."

"Get him out"

"Jason"

"Get him out Babs. Tell Bruce to move his fucking arse and get the kid out!!"

It seemed to Jason this kid had likely been telling the truth of his situation,and that he'd just not been believed. How long did he sit in that asylum being tormented while no one listened. While no one believed. He could have so easily been in a similar situation himself after he'd died.

"It's not that easy" he could hear the stress in Babs voice, the regret, guilt "I've been watching this kid for a while now, clocked him as a potential rogue in the making, and he's not exactly fond of Batman. Seemed to blame him for his situation. Jason he could be a real danger."

"Yeah?" Jason scoffed "Blames B does he?Well I often feel the same way"

"Don't do anything stupid Jason" is all Babs gets in before the phone call ends.

Jason takes a moment to consider before flicking through his other contacts. It's time to cash in some favours.

-----

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[thelonelyshore-if]

And I'm interested to hear you wouldn't necessarily mind a female RO flirting with your MC, so long as there are options to react to it and it is made clear there isn't any attraction there. I think that's likely where I would fall, too, since I think those interactions can be interesting for RP purposes!

(Hello. Same anon from the ask this ^ is a part of a reply to)

I love the RP possibilities! The way someone reacts to flirting can be very varied outside of just attraction too. Hell, im not even gonna be attracted to every guy who flirts with me either.

Some people might just not like being flirted with in general, some are flattered, some are awkward, some are happy to receive the attention even if it's not someone they're attracted to. Some will be a mix of multiple, like awkward and flattered, or displeased by flirting but happy to just have a chat instead.

I myself also (often) indulge in friendly flirting, and it doesn't matter to me what gender my friend is in that case (as long as they're comfy with that too ofc). I find it very fun personally, and i just enjoy playful dynamics like this between characters in fiction too.

Maybe I'm just more lax on who flirts with my mc because I don't view flirting as only necessarily a way to get a romantic partner, it's more of a way to form a connection for me - any type of it. If our intentions for the connection don't align we can just talk it out and decide what to do from there.

(I've written it from 'my' perspective, but im focusing more on a fictional world and excluding IRL factors like bigotry for simplicity)

Thank you for the follow up!!

And ooooh yeah this touches on something I'm actually planning!! (And was thinking about before going on this whole journey this past week haha), which is that flirting is actually totally separate from attraction/~romance points~ in the game.

Most of what raises the romance bar is set attraction choices and explicitly romantic/sexual actions. I plan to let flirting be something that MC can say they're uncomfortable with--or, on the other end, to have RP conversations like you're describing where you can fully just be like 'I don't want to date you but I'm down to flirt'

Each RO has a variable for interest (which functionally turns on the RO's interest in the MC), for flirting (whether or not MC has flirted with them/reciprocated flirting), whether or not the MC is officially pursuing them, and then a separate tracker to gauge how many times MC has like.....idk held the RO's hand or kissed them or what have you!

Like, if MC is actively romancing someone flirting will affect that, of course, but I want people to be able to be playfully flirty with the other characters even if they're not romancing them, if they want. I guess it all comes back to my deeply-held belief that Friends Are Important. MC deserves to have friends <3

Because I also flirt with my friends (who are cool with it) all the time lmao I think it's fun.

[notnights]

Found in my drafts from November 8th 2024:

My personal toxic takes on each Jax pairing: Bunnydoll:

Jax manipulates Ragatha into staying with him because he knows she's lonely. Uses things like their age difference to keep her in line because "oh are you using your life experience to take advantage of me right now? for shame Ragatha!" and while Ragatha logically knows that's not true, it stumps her because what if it is true? Is she overstepping right now? And it gives Jax enough time to take over from there.

From Ragatha's end, her toxic positivity makes her always see the good in Jax and forgive him without forcing him to learn to better himself. This in turn not only puts herself in danger but everyone else. Its one thing to let someone treat you badly, it's a whole different thing if they treat you good, but everyone else badly. Jax could pamper Ragatha, but could do something awful to Pomni, and Ragatha goes to comfort her, but not scold Jax. What does Pomni gain from that? That Ragatha's caring-personality is only surface level. How can she mean to comfort her when she doesn't even believe who hurt her deserves correcting?

Ragatha enables his bad behavior by either being "too kind" to say anything, or out of fear of him leaving if she does.

Funnybunny & ZoobleJax:

These two pairings I think lean more toward "hating each other is a kind of love language." Both Pomni and Zooble aren't afraid to bite back at Jax. While Zooble would just fight back and give no lessons, Pomni might fight back and also try and educate him. Presuming she cares about him. As Pomni's made it evident if she doesn't care for those involved she won't want to help them.

Depending on Jax's personal kicks he might like the bite. Has him lean more toward messing with these two even if he doesn't actually learn from said bites.

Zooble's toxic trait here is that while they do put Jax in his place they probably don't teach him any actual lessons. This doesn't necessarily enable his behavior but its not like they'd stop him from doing it. They, like Ragatha, don't do much to defend other's from Jax. ("shut up Jax.")

Pomni is probably the only one that wouldn't enable his behavior. If she can actually stop it or not is a different debate.

Ribbun:

Jax has a lot of control over Gangle for one reason or another. He would be taking advantage of her in some way even if it wasn't his intention. (example: if people alienate Gangle for crying all the time, and Jax is the only one who gives her attention, of course she's going to be biased to accept a relationship from him)

Gangle enables Jax's behavior because she is a major victim of it. Even if she wanted to stop it Jax has so much control over her it might lead to negative push back (literally wields a gun around her). Easier to just stand by him while he does whatever for her own safety and to let him keep her standing by his side.

JaxKinger:

Kinger has a lack of agency. Even if Jax was in a relationship with him for wholesome reasons, you could argue its not right because Kinger isn't all there. How can he have a healthy relationship with Jax if he can barely remember what they had for breakfast this morning?

Kinger might want to see Jax learn to be better, but due to his delirium he can't really stop Jax consistently even if he wanted to.

CaineJax:

Arguably the one pairing where Jax isn't the enforcer. Any pairing with Caine might be deemed inappropriate. He's technically their warden and the thing holding their world together. While Caine seemingly doesn't have the wants to manipulate/control his players (he doesn't force, or trick Zooble into going on an adventure, despite having all the power to do so, he literally just keeps asking them to go, and why they won't), he still has that power. And can still do it unintentionally (what does it say to Zooble that the world, their safety, is threatened when Caine doubts himself?) This could be done with Jax. Unintentionally Caine scares him to say yes. (This can also go for any Caine pairing as a toxic trait)

I feel Jax would accept a relationship for the power implications also. So while he doesn't have any direct control over Caine, he can literally be like "ribbons is bothering me today, Caine, can she be left out of today's adventure?" and Caine, not being so self-aware, being what he is just says yes and teleports her to her room.

Jax x Bubble:

Bubble

Ok but which Jax pairing is worse? Like I don’t mean by personal opinion, I mean; I think we can all agree every pairing involving Jax would be inherently unhealthy as it stands / starts out, but do we think there is one that is the most unhealthy?

[bbuzz28]

Fiddleford is a liar.

He contextualizes his lies as being for the greater good-but he still lies.

I think people sometimes overlook this trait. Outside of calling him a two timer on his wife (Emma-May, I would treat you so much better, run away with me), it’s all pretty much treated as a joke. "Silly little banjo playing Fiddleford who goes crazy by scrambling his brains like eggs in a skillet after a monster attack." It's a very convenient compartment to slide him into without digging much deeper.

However, I think it runs so much deeper than that. To lie so effortlessly and all the time, it takes practice. I think he has been lying probably for his entire life-so much so that he doesn't even consider it to be lying. The entire foundation on what he eventually builds his cult is "helping" the townsfolk by "protecting" them from the "terrible" truths that surround them in Gravity Falls.

Only a practiced liar would invent something like the memory gun. Because at the end of the day, when you are lying all the time, you are able to convince yourself of the lies for a little while-but not forever. (If you are not a narcissist, which of all the things Fiddleford is, he is not that.) You will wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and remember what you did or what you are trying to cover up. The aspect of control over what at the time seemed controllable with a few false words now causing your heart to race, your breath to hitch, your head to ache. So, then you lie more, to cover up all the loose threads that would lead to what you've done. Eventually, you have dug a hole so deep, there is no end in sight.

The answer is simple-tell the truth, right? It would be the "right" thing to do...and it would shatter everyone's interpretation of you. Possibly dissolving any of the relationships you've built. Relinquishing control of the scenario you created. Because when you tell the truth, it turns into the "well, why would you do this?" conversation. Who wants to hear "because I wanted you to like me", "I didn't want to disappoint you", "I didn't want to make you angry" or "I wanted to be useful" in response? To see that look of utter disenchantment in their eyes as all your lies are revealed.

But....what if you could e r a s e the truth from your own memory? And not only your memory, but the memory of whomever you lied to. They would never have to know what you did. You would never have to face it. And you would never again be overcome with the feelings of inadequacies that triggered you to lie in the first place.

You wouldn't have to disappoint anyone, or yourself, ever again.

The Memory Gun started as a clever band aid to the trauma of the Gremloblin incident, yes. But it turned into something much more dangerous in the hands of an established and practiced liar.

[ethanscrocs]

Sailor Moon Design Musings!

i've been thinking a lot about shape design in sailor moon, specifically because i noticed that when i draw usagi, i emphasize these little details quite a bit. now, i don't feel entirely certain that all of these were intentional, but it does get me thinking. sailor moon's design in the early seasons of the 90s anime is very clear-cut and sharp, and it's cultivated in something quite iconic. yeah, it's generally the same costume as the manga, but there are elements of the design that feel... intentional? what i wouldn't give to ask people who worked on the anime if they were aware of these details or if they were added to her design purposefully...

edit: and omg, her compact brooch follows the same logic as the rubies on her buns in that it's a circular shape with a smaller circle inside that abstracts the shape of a crescent moon, kind of? ALSO. the tiaras on the sailor senshi follow this logic and in some art it seems more intentional than others.

if you count all of these details, plus the already obvious shapes, there would be 14? different moon shapes in her design!

(16 in this image)

you just can't beat her! to me, this is clearly a character design that was already gorgeous but is more than perfected for animation. i love it! 🌙

bonus - usagi's anime concept art:

maybe i'm just imagining things but (and god do i wish i had a higher quality and translated version of this image) this is feeding my brainworms. maybe i'm right about a thing or two, a couple of the elements i mentioned above seem even further emphasized here... hm... 🔍

[andiv3r]

Having to block everyone who has "wincest dni" in their bio not because I ship wincest (because I have come to the conclusion that I actually don't) but because I do think it'd be fun to poke around at the very real weirdness of their relationship that I've noticed in the show so far. And I'm 99% sure that my poking around will get seen as shipping.

[aromantic-and-aromatic]

I'll shut up abt jenova one day, but the idea that hojo is so proud of himself for having created sephiroth bc his will is so strong he can become a god using jenova just for sephiroth to have actually been influenced by jenova bc his mind wasn't strong enough to withstand jenova's control from how hojo raised him will not leave my mind

[clownowo]

questions...

[ceramicbeetle]

know there’s a lot of fandom appeal in hawkeye returning home after the war and getting “proper” psychiatric treatment for [pre-existing] mental illness but frankly rewatching Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde and Give 'Em Hell Hawkeye back to back makes me feel like hawkeye returns and becomes embroiled in the antipsychiatry movement instead

because the disparity between Trapper’s fond “He’s just unstable” that ties Directly to the war’s impact on Hawkeye’s sense of empathy and morality and BJ’s derisive “I'd say there was no point in letting this drive you crazy, but I can see I'm too late” that more explicitly dismisses his behavior as being baselessly irrational and pathetic is enormous, and I think with hindsight it wouldn’t escape Hawkeye’s notice. He is a character who remained relatively unchanged over the seasons — it was the way that people began to respond to, dismiss, and pathologize* his behavior that shifted dramatically enough to make him go from being “the sanest person [Sidney] knows” to being considered “Crazy”.

*"Pathologize" doing a lot of heavy lifting here. this isn't to say that Hawkeye isn't experiencing a break in reality in GFA, he absolutely is, the Point is that there's a horror story in the insistence that his psychosis in GFA is part of a history of unstable behavior, something Internal, something Individual, something caused by His Brain, rather than being a 'reasonable' response to an utterly unreasonably horrific situation, leading to him being forced into a treatment like heavy medications or ECT because it's more Convenient to label him as an already unstable Outlier than acknowledging the political, military, and traumatic situations that he was forced into that Directly Caused his behavior, you know?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

trying to say things about the bsol finale & how it has these little twists about what you don't necessarily expect for these roles but would you believe it i'm like i can't use my [just saying some shit] ability i'm pressed about wanting it to be more coherent & verbalizing doesn't even really happen if i don't have the [just saying some shit] wind in my sails But trying to say One Thing, how about the little twist like the miracle banana gets being that he himself lives, vs his emotional resolution that he would have died to help the musician, even as the musician is like no bestie you're good, even as the audience may expect & approve of even dying from funny little second banana guy who may even be supposedly taken as Superfluous now that thee man & thee woman have reunited (but it was always queerer than that) like. more resolution to our themes that that very second banana is doing just fine vs that the hero is, more classic iconisiquisms

[underscore-jude]

i take back any and all narrative critiques i had of firebringer when i was a bougie 14 year old thinking i knew my shit. this is par for the course in terms of starkid's narrative cohesiveness and the chorn twist is the funniest fucking thing ive ever seen

[uncanny-tranny]

Maybe it's just me, but part of why I never really felt completely secure in being public about my own artistic endeavors was how... being proud of yourself in any capacity for any reason is almost a faux pas, if that makes sense.

I've noticed how it's almost expected to perform the air of humility, but is that humility? Is it humility to say, "Oh, I'm sorry for clogging your feed with my awful art" or anything to the effect of self-deprecation?

I think that's why I so often gravitate toward those who make "bad art." There's a sense of freedom that is only achieved with the level of hubris that being unashamed in the number of people who hate your art. I wonder, though, how many people don't hate the art as much as they hate that they can't chastise the artist into humility, into recognizing how "terrible" an artist they "actually" are?

[chaos-has-theories]

FUCK

solar eclipse this black like his soul that do you know what ELSE John's eyes kinda look like?

The fucking 8 ball.

[aphelea]

somehow i feel like reading this book as someone who is very very far from being a keefe fan made it easier