#I don't necessarily think it was the intent

[jungkoode]

𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏 | 24

⋆｡°✩ mirrors ✩°｡⋆

"When you're dealing with Jason, who talks about literature like it matters and opens car doors, the friendship bracelet feels like something from a different version of you. One that's messier, pettier, still half-formed."

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⋆｡°✩ chapter details ✩°｡⋆

word count: 8k

content: coffee dates with intelectual men (jason derulooooo), friendship bracelet anxiety, protective!yoongi, mia aftermath discussions, tessa planning

✧ author's note ✧

Okay. Before you all start side-eyeing Jason for breathing, let's set something straight—you're biased. And you're totally valid for that.

This is a Jungkook x Reader fanfic. Obviously, we're all rooting for the emotionally constipated trauma boy who talks with his eyes and stores all his feelings behind gym towels and granola bars. I get it. I'm rooting for him too. But Jason is not here to steal your man. He's here to teach. To nudge. To trigger reflection. He's not necessarily here to stay—but he is important. For Y/N. For her growth. For us to see what it looks like when she's treated decently on surface level, so we can question what actually feels good, and what merely feels safe.

Jason, like every man I write, is not perfect. (You'd think I'd spare at least one of them but alas, I'm God here and a mean one.) Y/N is looking at him through rose-colored glasses—yes, that's intentional. But this is not your cue to dissect him like a frog and declare "something about him rubs me wrong, Kiki please kill him." Let's calm down, Hannibal. Not every man who isn't Jungkook is a villain in this story.

And speaking of bias—let's talk about Y/N. I want to gently remind you all: this story is told through her perspective. That means the narration is not omniscient. It's filtered through a lens of impulsivity, self-sabotage, and defense mechanisms. She's in her 20s and emotionally immature in ways that mirror her environment, her upbringing, her trauma. So yes—you'll read lines where she praises Jason and drags Jungkook through the mud like he owes her money. That's part of her architecture. Not mine. I don't write self-insert. I write character. And Y/N is doing what a lot of us do—projecting simplicity onto what's new and shiny, and demonizing what's familiar and complicated.

Because when you're operating from trauma, you fixate on the flaws that allow you to detach. On the safe narrative. Jungkook is socks on the couch. Jungkook is dumb. Jungkook is the roommate who yells too loudly when he's playing CoD. Not Jungkook who didn't burst into his bedroom during her panic attack because he knew she wouldn't want to be seen. Not Jungkook who's messy, perhaps not attentive when it comes to mugs in the sink—but attentive in the things that matter.

So yes. Y/N is unfair toward Jungkook in this chapter. And Jungkook is unfair toward her, too. And they will keep on being unfair and you'll want to scream and you'll say 'they're stupid' and yes they are. That's the point. That's humanity. That's how we cope—through flawed logic and messy defenses. It's ugly and real and mine.

Tessa. Let's go there. I've said it before, but I'll reiterate it loud enough for the back rows: Tessa is not the villain. She's not here to be the hot girl we all collectively throw into a fictional toilet. She's kind. She's respectful. She shares common interests with Jungkook. She's doing her thing. And that's exactly why she throws Y/N off. Because it would be easier to hate her if she were rude. If she were smug. But she's not. And that's the dissonance. That's the discomfort. Tessa would probably be a friend if the circumstances were different. But she's not. She's interested in Jungkook. And Y/N is sleeping with Jungkook. So while jealousy isn't the correct word, there's still that… gut feeling. That primal "mine" that you don't have to be in love to feel. Especially when someone's the only person who's ever made you feel wanted and safe in your body. (She did say he knows where the clit is. Let's not forget that.)

And Jungkook—again, for all his confusion and emotional hoarding—does not make fun of her for liking things. He forces her to confront her wants, to allow herself to enjoy things without guilt. Encourages them. Creates space for them. And she doesn't consciously realize that. But subconsciously? It's why she's defensive. Why she's scared of losing it.

Last thing I'll touch on: Yoongi. Because I love the way he shows up here—not loud, not meddling, but present. I made a point of explaining his schedule (beyond just plot convenience lmao) because I think it's important to portray him realistically. He's a producer. He's constantly working. And yet, when he is home, he doesn't overstep. He doesn't offer gossip. He doesn't reveal Jungkook's mess. He respects Jungkook's boundaries. He gives Y/N a branch. A little nudge. And if you know Yoongi, you know that's massive. That's someone who sees pain but respects the privacy of it. That's how love shows up in quiet friendships.

So yeah. That's Chapter 24. Not a love story. Not yet. It's a story about mirrors. About coping. About not knowing what you want until someone else tries to hand it to you, and you flinch.

Enjoy Jason while he's here. He's the first of some.

Now go read. Come back messy.

Love, Kiki (who writes enemies-to-lovers and then gets mad when they don't like each other yet) (ಥ﹏ಥ)

⋆｡°✩ read on✩°｡⋆

ao3

wattpad

Turns out seventy-something grandmothers also read vampire and werewolf books. 

Sunday shifts at Barnes & Noble are usually dead—just you, the books, and the occasional lost tourist looking for the bathroom. 

But today feels off-kilter, like everything's been shifted two inches to the left. 

You keep catching yourself touching the bracelet on your wrist, the beads spelling "ROGUE" pressed against your skin, a constant reminder of last night's decisions.

You still haven't taken it off. Haven't even considered it, really, which is weird because it's just a stupid tacky bracelet. Wearing it shouldn't mean anything. It's not like you and Jungkook are actually friends.

Are you?

…No. Definitely not. Just roommates who occasionally don't want to murder each other. Roommates who sometimes have really good sex. Roommates who made matching bracelets in a moment of insanity.

Fuck, that does sound like friendship.

"Excuse me, dear?"

The voice pulls you from your spiral, and you realize you've been staring at the same page of inventory for at least two minutes. 

The woman standing at your register is tiny, maybe five feet tall on a good day, with perfectly coiffed silver hair and pearl earrings that are definitely not fake.

"Sorry," you mutter, quickly scanning the five hardcover books she's placed on the counter. The entire Twilight saga, special edition with gold-edged pages. "Did you find everything okay?"

"Oh yes, thank you," she says, pulling out a wallet that looks expensive in that understated way rich people prefer. "My book club is doing a throwback month. We're revisiting our guilty pleasures."

You nod absently, focusing on bagging the books without making eye contact. Just get through this transaction and then you can go back to questioning your life choices in peace.

"So," she says as you process her credit card, "Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

Your head snaps up, certain you've misheard.

"I'm sorry?"

"The eternal question," she says with a wink. "Which supernatural suitor would you choose? The brooding vampire or the hot-headed werewolf?"

Is this happening? Is this actually happening right now? 

You stare at her, completely dumbfounded. 

She's got to be at least seventy, wearing a cashmere cardigan and sensible heels, asking you about fictional teen heart-throbs like you're at a middle school sleepover.

You open your mouth to give some non-committal answer, but then you remember Dora from the laundry room. How quickly you'd dismissed her as a cranky old lady, only to discover she was just a widow feeling lonely. 

Maybe this woman is the same—just looking for a moment of connection in her day.

"I'm honestly Team Alice," you say, surprising yourself with the genuine smile that forms. "She was probably a better choice than either of those two drama queens."

The woman's face lights up with delight. 

"Oh! Bold choice. I like that." She leans in conspiratorially, lowering her voice. "I'm Team Edward, myself. I guess I like old men after all."

A startled laugh escapes before you can stop it. "He is like a hundred years old in a teenager's body. Very problematic."

"Precisely why it's a guilty pleasure, my dear," she says, accepting the bag you hand her. "The best kind of fiction lets us enjoy things we'd find appalling in real life."

There's something weirdly profound about that statement coming from a pearl-wearing grandmother buying vampire romance novels on a Sunday afternoon.

"Enjoy your book club," you say, meaning it.

"I will. And you enjoy whatever team you're on," she replies with a wink, nodding toward your wrist where the friendship bracelet sits.

Before you can respond, she's walking away, her heels clicking rhythmically against the floor. 

You stare after her, feeling like you've just had some kind of surreal encounter with a Twilight-loving fairy godmother.

The rest of your shift passes in a blur of restocking shelves and helping lost customers find the bathroom. 

By the time you clock out, the Twilight grandma feels like a fever dream—something your brain made up to break the monotony. But the conversation stays with you, an unexpected bright spot in an otherwise tedious day.

You're still thinking about it when you unlock the apartment door three hours later.

"Hello?" you call out, dropping your keys on the entry table with a clatter.

Nothing.

The apartment is empty, the silence confirming what you already knew—you've got the place to yourself. 

No Yoongi with his silent judgment. No Griffin with his judgmental silence. And no Jungkook with his... 

…

Whatever.

You check your phone. 

An hour and a half until you're supposed to meet Jason for coffee. 

Plenty of time to shower away the retail grime and maybe even put on something that doesn't scream ‘I've been folding books for eight hours.’

As if sensing your thoughts, your phone pings with a text.

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧: 𝚂𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 4? 𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚞𝚙? 

You bite back a smile. 

He's offering to pick you up? So he remembers where he dropped you off that one time after class? 

That's... actually kind of sweet. A guy who actually pays attention to details.

It's refreshing after dealing with Jungkook, who once put an empty milk carton back in the fridge and claimed he ‘didn't notice’ it was empty. Like someone just happened to drink all the milk and then carefully put the empty container back exactly where they found it. 

Idiot.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜! 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚝 𝟺 ❤️

You don’t know why you’re using proper caps now, or why you add the heart emoji. It’s all without thinking, and you stare at it for a solid five seconds wondering if it's too much. 

But it's already sent, and honestly, it's just an emoji. Not like you're proposing marriage.

As you scroll back through your messages, another unread text catches your eye. From last night. When your phone pinged during the bracelet exchange with Jungkook.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚎𝚢! 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝! 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞! 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎? 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎! 🥰

Oh.

Oh right.

Tessa from last night. The literal goddess with perfect hair who wanted your advice about dating Jungkook. The girl you told to go for it because, why not? He could do a lot worse than someone genuinely nice and put-together. 

You stare at the text for a long moment, trying to figure out what to say to that. Because it’s weird. It feels weird.

No, the weird feeling is probably just that you're not sure you want to get involved in Jungkook's love life. It's one thing to suggest Tessa make a move, but playing matchmaker? Giving ongoing advice? That's crossing into territory that feels uncomfortably personal.

Plus, you're kind of sleeping with him. Would be weird to help another girl date your fuck buddy. Not because you care who else he sleeps with—you don't. Obviously. But it would just be... awkward.

And what would you even say? ‘Hey Tessa, here's how to seduce my roommate: play hard to get, argue with him constantly, then jump his bones when he least expects it. Works for me!’

Yeah, no.

You set your phone down without replying. You'll deal with Tessa later. After your coffee with Jason. After you've had a shower and maybe some time to think about how to navigate this bizarre social situation you've somehow landed in.

As you head to the bathroom, you catch your reflection in the hallway mirror. You look tired, a little rumpled from your shift, but not terrible. Your eyes drift down to the colorful beads circling your wrist. ROGUE, spelled out in childish letter beads. 

You could take it off. Probably should, honestly. It's not like you're twelve, wearing friendship bracelets with your BFF.

But your fingers don't move toward the clasp. 

Instead, you just turn away from the mirror and continue toward the bathroom.

It's just a bracelet. It doesn't mean anything.

You'll take it off tomorrow.

Funny how a look can make you remember what it’s like to feel beautiful.

Jason’s car is clean. Not serial killer clean, but neat in a way that feels vaguely impressive for a guy who’s in grad school and not living off a diet of ramen and emotional repression. 

When you slide into the passenger seat, your dress rides up just a little, and you catch him glance���brief, polite, but definitely there. 

You don’t blame him. You look good.

Hair curled. Lip gloss strawberry-slick. Earrings you almost forgot you owned. The black dress is simple but it fits just right, hugging the curve of your waist like it was designed to hold you together when you forget how. 

You’d like to pretend you don’t care what Jason thinks, but you shaved above the knee and sprayed perfume behind your knees, so.

He smiles when he sees you, soft and almost surprised. “Hey. Wow.”

‘Wow’. Not ‘you look nice’, not ‘I like your dress’. 

Just wow, like he wasn’t prepared for this version of you.

Like he’s seeing you, not the outfit.

You kind of love that.

“Hey yourself.” 

You buckle in and feel the nerves pull tighter in your chest. You’re not used to being nervous anymore. You’ve fucked your way through worse situations than this. 

But this isn’t sex. This is coffee. 

Somehow infinitely more exposing.

The drive is short, music low—Jason puts on some indie playlist that’s equal parts folky and hipster, and you catch lyrics about moons and bones and the way someone smells in spring. He doesn’t talk much on the way, but it’s not awkward. Just quiet. Thoughtful. There’s a kind of comfort in that, in not having to fill every second with chatter.

When you arrive, you wonder if you’ve accidentally agreed to a second location with a man who might bankrupt you. 

Because this coffee shop? It is sleek and minimalist, all marble tables and matte-black finishes, the kind of place where the baristas wear aprons and pour water like they’re performing surgery.

And holy shit, it smells amazing. Not in the burnt hazelnut way you’re used to from campus cafés, but rich, deep—vanilla and cinnamon and fresh grounds that probably cost more per ounce than your soul.

Jason holds the door open for you. Doesn’t make a big deal of it. Just does it like it’s second nature. And okay, fine, you notice that. You’re not made of stone.

You order the strawberry latte on a whim, mostly because the flavor name makes you smile—‘blushberry blossom’ (c’mon that’s such a cute name)—and partly because the idea of something pink and ridiculous feels like rebellion in a place this serious. Jason, for his part, gets a cortado.

You sit by the window, where light slants in gold and sharp across the marble, catching on the rim of your cup and your collarbone. 

Here, the world outside feels very far away—no Griffin knocking shit over, no roommates stomping around the apartment like emotional hurricanes. Just soft jazz and clinking spoons and the man across from you who keeps doing this thing where he leans in slightly when you talk, like he doesn’t want to miss anything you say.

“You really think that about Bishop?” he asks, eyebrows up.

You nod. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not that I think she hated women, but there’s definitely an internalized thing going on in the way she writes about domesticity. Like she’s performing detachment because that’s the only way to survive inside it.”

Jason exhales, a quiet sound of admiration. “That’s really smart.”

You shrug, suddenly a little too warm. 

Compliments on your appearance are easy to swat away. 

This kind—the you’re actually intelligent and I’m listening to you kind—sticks in your chest like static.

Your latte arrives, delicate as hell. Pale pink with foamy swirls and a single edible flower floating on top. Instagram bait. You take a sip, expecting something syrupy and fake, but it’s…

Huh.

You pause. Purse your lips. The taste is sweet, but not in a candy way. More like… too smooth. Like it’s missing bitterness. But it’s fine. Just—off, somehow. 

Not bad, just… not what you were expecting. 

You take another sip.

Still weird. Still fine.

You say nothing. Just keep talking, keep leaning into the conversation, because Jason’s eyes are lit up and he’s asking you questions like he actually cares about the answers.

You talk about poetry, about undergrad nonsense, about that one professor who only teaches in metaphors and might actually be a tree in disguise. Jason laughs at your jokes and adds his own and it’s easy. Like, actually easy. Like your brain isn’t doing somersaults trying to predict the next emotional landmine.

Halfway through the drink, he glances down at your wrist and tilts his head.

“Is that… a friendship bracelet?”

You glance at it before you remember it’s there. 

Your hand had been resting on the table, fingers curled lightly around your cup, the ROGUE beads facing up like they want to be seen.

Shit.

You forgot you were still wearing it. In fact, haven’t you been wearing it all day? All shift. Through your shower. Through putting on perfume. Through curling your hair. Through walking out the door knowing someone might see it.

You pull your wrist back instinctively. Not fast enough to be defensive, just enough to make it clear you hadn’t meant for it to be a conversation piece.

Jason doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t tease. Just raises his eyebrows, curious but not unkind.

“Oh,” you say, pretending it’s nothing. “Yeah. It’s—stupid. A joke, kind of.”

Jason’s brow furrows. “No, it’s cool. I mean, it’s cute. Just wasn’t expecting that from you.”

You laugh, a little too fast. “Yeah, me neither.”

“It’s not a bad look,” he offers. “Very… I don’t know. Vintage, maybe?”

He says it in the tone of someone trying to offer reassurance, not judgment. 

And that’s the thing, because he hasn’t said anything bad about it. 

It’s you. 

You feel it. That quiet little itch of self-consciousness blooming under your skin. 

And suddenly you are twelve years old, and someone just caught you doodling hearts in your notebook. 

You feel… silly.

Not because it’s a dumb bracelet—it is—but because it’s on your wrist in this place, with this person. 

With Jason, who talks about literature like it matters, who picked you up on time, who smells like sandalwood and books, who looks at you like he’s trying to memorize your mouth.

The bracelet feels like something from a different version of you. One that’s messier, pettier, still half-formed. The version that knocks Jungkook’s protein powder off the counter just to watch him flinch. The one who keeps secrets in locked journals under the bed.

You press your wrist lightly against your thigh under the table, hiding it without really hiding it. Jason doesn’t press. He just sips his coffee and asks what you think about Rainer Maria Rilke.

You tell him. You talk about how Letters to a Young Poet changed the way you understood loneliness. About how writing doesn’t have to be for anyone else. About how maybe there’s something holy about solitude when it’s chosen.

He listens like the world’s on mute.

And maybe, just maybe, you start to believe the things you’re saying. Maybe you start to feel like someone worth listening to.

“You should read this essay by Gilbert and Gubar,” he says, pulling out his phone to make a note. “I’ll send you the link. It’s about the madwoman in the attic as a feminist symbol. Might give you some interesting perspectives.”

“That would be great,” you say, soft smile tugging at your lips. 

It’s been ages since you’ve had a conversation like this—someone who not only gets your academic interests but actively engages with them.

“You’re really smart, you know that?” he says suddenly, setting down his mug. “Like, genuinely insightful. You should consider applying to graduate programs.”

The compliment catches you off guard, warmth spreading through your chest. 

“I’ve thought about it,” you admit. “But it’s competitive. And expensive.”

“True,” he nods. “But there are fellowships. And based on what I’ve heard from you in class and now, I think you’d have a shot.”

You take another sip of your too-sweet latte to hide how pleased you are. It’s not that you need validation, but… okay, maybe you do, a little. Who doesn’t?

“I could help you look into programs, if you want,” he offers. “No pressure, just… I know the landscape pretty well.”

“That would be amazing, actually,” you say, meaning it.

By the time you’ve both finished your drinks, the afternoon light has shifted. You’ve been talking for over two hours, and it’s only when you check your phone that you realize how much time has passed.

“I should probably get you home,” Jason says, checking his watch reluctantly. “I’ve got a stack of papers to grade before tomorrow.”

“Right,” you nod, equally reluctant to end the afternoon. “Teaching assistant duties call.”

“Unfortunately,” he sighs, then brightens. “But I’d love to do this again. Maybe dinner next time?”

“I’d like that,” you say, and you really would.

After 10 minutes in his car, you think he’s turning toward your apartment. 

You’re wrong.

Jason’s blinker flicks left instead of right, merging smoothly into traffic like this isn’t a diversion. Like it’s part of the plan.

You glance over, raising an eyebrow. “Um. Home’s the other way.”

He smiles, eyes still on the road. “I know. I wanted to show you something first.”

Your chest flutters—nothing dramatic, just a soft little hum, like the opening notes of a song you don’t recognize but already like. You sink back into the seat and let yourself be curious.

The drive winds west, toward the river, buildings falling away into stretches of old brick warehouses and glass condo towers that look like they belong in an entirely different version of your life. One where you probably own a milk frother and know what saffron tastes like.

Jason doesn’t say much, just tunes the radio to some local jazz station and hums softly along. The golden hour light cuts sideways through the windshield, warm and syrupy, painting the world in blush and amber.

He pulls over near a quiet overlook, where the road widens into a shoulder and the guardrail curls just enough to frame the view. The Hudson stretches wide in front of you, molasses-slow and glittering under a sky that’s all pinks and orange melt, the kind of sunset you always say you’ll watch more often but never do.

He doesn’t make it a thing. Just kills the engine, unbuckles his seatbelt, and nods toward the passenger side.

“Come on.”

You follow, caught in that half-stunned, half-swoony state that makes your steps feel floaty. 

The air outside is cooler than you expect, touched with that river dampness that curls around your ankles and lifts the hair on your arms. The water looks like glass, rippling only when the wind brushes across it.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, stepping closer to the edge. 

The view is stupid. Like, actually unfair. The sky’s a cliché in real time—cotton candy pink and tangerine and just the faintest smear of lavender toward the edges. 

You pull out your phone without thinking, framing the scene like muscle memory.

One shot.

Then another.

Then one with your shoulder in the corner, just to prove you were here.

Jason stands a little off to the side, hands in the pockets of his coat. 

He’s not watching the view—he’s watching you look at the view, which somehow makes it feel even more unreal.

“I didn’t want the date to end in a parking lot,” he says quietly.

You smile down at your phone, thumbs already moving. You pick the best one, swipe through a filter, drop the saturation just a little. Caption: this sky is a lie and I’m letting it.

You post without thinking. It’s just a sunset. It’s just a moment. But it feels worth remembering.

A notification pops up a few seconds later. Like.

Then another.

Then—

35mmghost liked your photo.

You blink.

Snort.

Okay. What?

You don’t say anything, just stare at the name for a beat longer than necessary. 

35mmghost. 

That is… not what you expected Jason’s Instagram handle to be. If it is Jason’s. Which would be hilarious. And weirdly endearing.

You flick a glance toward him. He’s smiling to you, with his phone between his fingers. Like you just caught him.

He just pockets it and gazes out at the river like he’s trying to memorize it. 

You file it away. Not important. Probably. Just… cute.

Jason, apparently, has a secret artsy side. 

And a dramatic username.

Ghost, really?

You like it. Quietly. Silently. The same way he let you have the view.

He doesn’t know you noticed. Doesn’t try to impress you with it.

And for once, you don’t overanalyze. You just let yourself stand there, cheeks a little pink from the wind and the compliment still buzzing somewhere behind your ribs, watching the sky slide into dusk like it’s not even trying to be beautiful.

Like it just is.

When he finally drives you home, you find yourself feeling lighter than you have in weeks. 

There’s something refreshingly straightforward about Jason. 

No games, no cryptic comments, no emotional whiplash. 

Just a smart, mature guy who seems genuinely interested in you.

When he pulls up to your building, he gets out to open your door again—which still feels like something from a movie rather than real life.

“Thanks for today,” you say, standing awkwardly on the sidewalk. 

Is this the part where you kiss? You’re not sure what the protocol is here.

Jason solves the dilemma with a warm smile and a slight step back—respecting your space in that careful way that somehow makes him even more attractive.

"Thank you for making my Sunday exponentially better," he says.

It's such a nerdy, earnest thing to say that you can't help but smile. 

"Exponentially, huh?"

"At least by a factor of ten," he confirms with a grin. "I'll text you about dinner?"

"Sounds good."

You watch him drive away, a pleasant buzz of anticipation tingling in your chest about seeing him again. 

For once, your love life seems straightforward and uncomplicated. 

A mature guy who's exactly what he appears to be. What a fucking novelty.

When you finally make it upstairs, the apartment is still quiet. Still empty. 

You kick your shoes off at the door and shrug off your coat, fingers catching on the thin leather strap of your bag. You leave it on the couch and walk straight to your room, not bothering to turn on any lights. 

There’s enough spill from the windows to see by—blue-gray and soft, the city humming faint in the background like a lullaby that never really ends.

You catch your reflection in the mirror again. 

Dress still hugging you right, lip gloss faded but not completely gone. Your cheeks are flushed in that way that feels natural, earned. 

You look good. You feel good.

But your gaze drifts. Down to your wrist.

There it is. Bright and stupid and clunky against the sleek black of your dress. 

ROGUE.

It looks even more ridiculous now than it did in the café. Like a tacky souvenir trying to pass in a room full of doctoral candidates.

You sigh.

It’s not that you’re ashamed of it, exactly. 

Just… aware of it. 

In a way you weren’t before. 

Aware of what it signals—about you, about the you that exists in here, in this apartment. 

The one who fights over fridge space and burns frozen pizza and still hides snacks under the bed like you’re prepping for an apocalypse Jungkook might eat through.

Jason didn’t make you feel bad about it. Not at all. 

But there was that little jolt of being seen in a way you didn’t mean to be. Like wearing pajamas to class by mistake.

You run your thumb over the beads. They’re slightly warm from your skin, the elastic stretched just enough to make a faint indent on your wrist. 

It’s silly. 

So fucking silly. 

You shouldn’t have even worn it out. It doesn’t belong in cafés with marble tables and edible flowers. Doesn’t belong with guys who talk about Rilke and open your door and make you feel like your brain is the most interesting thing about you.

It belongs here. Inside these walls. In the shared chaos of mismatched mugs and territorial coffee wars and Griffin sleeping on your face. 

It belongs in the version of you that forgets to do laundry and screams at reality TV and gets off with your roommate like it’s just another way to burn through stress.

Maybe it’s time to choose. Or at least… edit.

You slide the bracelet off. Slowly. Carefully. Set it down on your dresser, next to the copy of The Bell Jar you’ve been meaning to reread and a half-burnt candle that smells like peaches and something faintly smoky.

You’ll still wear it sometimes. Just not… when you go out with Jason. Not when you want to feel sleek and composed and like maybe, just maybe, you’re building something a little more deliberate than chaos. 

Maybe that’s okay.

You leave it where it is.

And you don’t stop to think whether Jungkook is even wearing it at all.

“You’re alive?”

The words slip out before you can stop them, a bit too loud for a quiet apartment and a bit too sarcastic for someone who just walked through the front door. 

But it’s Yoongi. You’re pretty sure he came out of the womb with a glare and noise-cancelling headphones.

He gives you a flat look, keys jingling as he kicks the door shut behind him. 

No hello, no how was your day, just a flick of his eyes from your face to your bare legs stretched across the coffee table, one foot propped up like you’re posing for a toenail polish ad no one asked for.

“Didn’t expect you home,” you add, waving your freshly painted big toe in his direction. “Figured you were off ghosting the apartment all weekend like usual.”

He drops his messenger bag by the door with a soft thud, shrugs like the weight of being perceived is too much.

“Didn’t have that much work today,” he says, deadpan, already halfway to the kitchen. “Been overworking all week. Even I get tired of being productive.”

You blink. “Wait—you work on Sundays?”

“I work always,” he calls back, grabbing a mug from the cabinet like it personally offended him. “What’s your point?”

You roll your eyes, adjusting your foot on the arm of the couch so the polish doesn’t smudge. 

“My point is, maybe stop pretending you’re not a person and do something degenerate for once. Watch trash TV. Go outside.”

“I went outside,” he mutters, reaching for the coffee grounds. “Regret it.”

“You’re making coffee now?” You glance at the clock. “You’ll be awake all night.”

“Mm,” Yoongi says, which is less a response and more a vibe. “Not like I’ve slept properly in a week anyway.”

“That sounds healthy,” you sing, flicking the cap back onto the nail polish bottle. 

You don’t know when this stopped being weird—talking to him like this. 

It’s not friendship, exactly, but it’s not not that either. 

Comfortable-ish. Low maintenance. The kind of dynamic that doesn’t need checking in.

Griffin trots out from wherever he was napping, tail flicking with that ‘where the fuck is my dinner, peasants’ energy.

You lean over and scratch behind his ear. “Still no sign of your boy?”.

Yoongi shrugs —his primary form of communication—then cups his hands around his mouth and yells, “JUNGKOOK!”

The silence that follows is answer enough.

“Nah, he’s not home,” Yoongi confirms unnecessarily.

You roll your eyes, screwing the cap back on your nail polish. “Thanks for the thorough investigation.”

You go back to focusing on your second foot, tongue poking out slightly as you try not to smear the top coat. 

Then—

“Hey,” he says, casual but not. “By the way…”

You pause, brush hovering mid-air.

“…I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

Your stomach drops. 

Those words never precede anything good. 

Is he kicking you out? Did you do something wrong? Is the rent going up? Did he find your secret stash of chocolate-covered pretzels hidden behind the rice?

“Okay…” you say cautiously, sitting up straighter. “What’s up?”

Yoongi takes a sip of his coffee, still not meeting your eyes. The silence stretches just long enough to make your anxiety spike before he finally speaks.

“It’s about Jungkook.”

Oh.

Oh no.

Did Jungkook complain about you? Is Yoongi about to give you some weird roommate intervention? Does he know about the… arrangement you and Jungkook have? 

God, that would be mortifying.

“What about him?” you ask, aiming for casual but landing somewhere closer to defensive.

Yoongi presses his lips together like he’s trying to decide if speaking is worth the effort. Spoiler: it usually isn’t.

Then—quiet, low: 

“Back at the karaoke place… you met Mia, right?”

You freeze mid-swipe, the brush hovering just above your toenail. There’s a split second where your brain tries to play dumb. Pretend you didn’t. Pretend you forgot. But your body answers before your mouth does—shoulders tensing, breath pulling tight behind your ribs.

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “I remember.”

And you do. Perfectly. Chanel and Louboutins and weaponized perfume. Voice like saccharine venom and teeth too white to be trustworthy. 

You remember the grip on your arm. The way Jungkook looked—vacant, off, like someone unplugged him at the base of the spine.

Yoongi nods once, eyes fixed on his coffee like it might offer divine clarity.

“I need to know what happened.” 

His voice isn’t demanding, not exactly. Just… steady. Firm in a way you’ve never heard from him before. 

“What did she say to him?”

You shift on the couch, pulling your knees up to make room for Griffin, who hops beside you with zero regard for the wet polish on your toes. 

You don’t answer right away. Not because you’re trying to avoid it—it’s just that you’re not sure how to answer.

Yoongi doesn’t push. Just waits.

You glance toward the kitchen, then back at him. 

“I didn’t hear everything,” you start. “She was already talking to him when I found them. I didn’t even know who she was at first, just thought—some random girl, y’know?”

He nods once. Still waiting.

“She was dressed like she had three bodyguards waiting outside,” you add, because you can’t help yourself. “Total Upper East Side vibes. Like she was slumming it for the night.”

That earns a dry little huff from Yoongi. Almost a laugh. Almost.

Your fingers twitch against your thigh. 

“She knew it was his birthday,” you say, softer now. “Said it all sweet but—like. Fake sweet, you know? Like she was performing nice but wanted him to feel like shit for not inviting her.”

Yoongi’s jaw ticks as he listens. He’s still holding the coffee mug, but you can tell he’s not really drinking anymore. Just holding it like a prop.

“She said…” Your voice trails off. You swallow. “She said, ‘Try not to have too much fun without me.’ And something about his dad. I didn’t catch all of it. But her tone—it was like… she wanted to rattle him.”

Now Yoongi finally looks at you. Not full on, not probing, but enough to catch your face in his periphery. 

“She mentioned his dad?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “Just—like, she knew it’d hit a nerve. She said something about ‘not replacing her’ or whatever. I don’t know the full context, but... whatever it was, it fucked with him. He looked—”

You pause. 

The image flashes in your head: Jungkook standing in the hallway, motionless. His face locked down, shoulders tight. Like something inside him had short-circuited.

“He looked small,” you say quietly. “Scared. Not like himself.”

Yoongi takes that in. Doesn’t react right away. He just huffs out a breath through his nose and leans back against the edge of the kitchen counter.

Another pause.

Then: “She’s good at that.”

He says it flatly. No inflection. No explanation.

You tilt your head. “You know her?”

“Not much. But I know exactly what he looked like after her.”

You’re quiet, sensing the line. The invisible perimeter Yoongi keeps between what’s his to share and what isn’t.

“I’m not asking for his secrets,” you say, meaning it.

“Good,” he replies instantly. “Because they’re not mine to give.”

That makes you like him more. Irritatingly so.

You don’t push. But your gaze stays on him, curious.

Yoongi shrugs, finally setting his mug down on the counter. “I’ve only known him for a year and a half, so I wasn’t around back then. Not for most of it. But she left damage.”

You stay quiet.

“She knows his pressure points. Knows when to act like she’s joking and when to twist the knife.” He rubs the back of his neck like he hates even saying this out loud. “Jungkook’s got a... hard time with boundaries. Especially when it comes to people he used to love.”

Used to. Interesting phrasing.

Your lips part slightly, but Yoongi’s already waving a hand like he regrets going this far. “Anyway. Not my drama. Just wanted to know what she said. He didn’t tell us much.”

“Us?”

Yoongi shrugs again, folding his arms. “Me, Taehyung, Hobi. The ones that showed up when she blew everything up.”

You blink. “Blew everything up?”

He gives you a look. Not mean. Not angry. Just—measured. Like he’s deciding how much to trust you.

“I said too much already,” he mutters. “But yeah. That hallway thing? That wasn’t nothing. I just needed to hear it from someone who saw it up close.”

You nod slowly. “Makes sense.”

Silence again. Not uncomfortable exactly. But heavy.

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair and glances down at Griffin, who’s now making biscuits into a throw pillow like he pays rent. 

“He didn’t tell you anything, huh?”

“No.” The word comes out before you can stop it. Then, quieter: “He just said he needed air.”

Yoongi exhales. “Figures.”

You want to ask more. About Mia. About Jungkook. About what the hell happened that’s got Yoongi this protective over someone he’s known for less than two years. But something in his expression makes you hold your tongue.

So you just nod, brushing your fingers lightly over Griffin’s back.

After a beat, you say, “Thanks for telling me. Even if it was just a little.”

Yoongi lifts his coffee mug in a half-toast. “Don’t read into it. You were there. I needed intel. That’s all.”

You smirk. “Sure.”

But you both know that’s not all.

Not even close.

"Wait," you call out just as Yoongi's about to disappear completely. 

You're not sure why you feel compelled to say this—it's not like you owe Tessa anything—but after everything you've just learned about Mia, it feels important somehow.

Yoongi pauses, hand on his doorknob, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"That girl at the birthday party," you say, the words tumbling out before you can overthink them. "Tessa? I think she genuinely likes him. Like, in a normal way."

You don't know why you're telling him this. 

Maybe because after hearing about Mia's toxicity, the idea of someone simple and sweet being interested in Jungkook feels like information worth sharing. 

Yoongi tilts his head slightly. "The ginger one? Sat next to him?"

"Yeah," you nod, surprised he noticed. "She asked for my advice, actually. About him. She wants to get coffee with me to talk about it."

"Huh." Yoongi leans against his doorframe, considering this. "She seemed... nice."

The way he says ‘nice’ makes it sound like he's describing an alien species he's only read about in textbooks.

"She is nice," you confirm. "Like, genuinely nice. Soft. Girly.  Probably doesn't have any emotional baggage or toxic exes lurking around corners."

You're babbling now, but you can't seem to stop. 

Because you feel guilty. 

Because you told this nice beautiful girl to go for an emotionally stunted dude who apparently has way too much baggage. 

Because maybe Jungkook is not even ready for any of this.

"I told her to go for it. With Jungkook, I mean. Before I knew about... all this Mia stuff."

Yoongi's expression shifts subtly—a slight narrowing of the eyes. "You're playing matchmaker now?"

There's no judgment in his voice, just curiosity, but you feel defensive anyway.

"Not matchmaking," you clarify. "Just... I don't know. Being supportive? She asked, I answered. It's not a big deal."

"Right," Yoongi says, in a tone that suggests he thinks it might actually be a big deal. "And how does Jungkook feel about Tessa?"

You shrug, suddenly realizing you have no idea. "I don't know. They're in some classes together I think. He hasn't mentioned her."

"Jungkook doesn't mention a lot of things," Yoongi points out.

"True." You fiddle with the cap of your nail polish, avoiding his gaze. "I just thought... she’s nice. And so pretty. I just thought… maybe it could do him some good—before I even knew about this, I mean.”

Yoongi makes a noncommittal sound. "Maybe."

"You don't think so?"

He shrugs. "It's not about what I think. It's about whether Jungkook's ready for someone new. Especially someone... nice."

The way he says it makes you wonder if ‘nice’ is a liability in Jungkook's world. 

If after someone like Mia, ‘nice’ feels too foreign, too simple.

"Well, I already told her to go for it," you say, feeling suddenly uncertain. "Should I... un-tell her?"

Yoongi actually smiles at that—a small, fleeting thing, but definitely a smile. "No. Let it play out. Who knows? Maybe you're right. Maybe nice is exactly what he needs."

He doesn't sound convinced, but he doesn't sound dismissive either.

"Okay," you say, relieved. "I just... wanted you to know. Since we're apparently on Team Jungkook now."

Yoongi snorts. "I've always been on Team Jungkook. You're the new recruit."

"I didn't exactly volunteer," you point out.

"And yet here you are," he says, "worrying about his love life."

You open your mouth to protest, then close it again. 

He's not wrong.

"Anyway," Yoongi continues, "thanks for telling me about Tessa. And about what happened with Mia."

You nod, feeling like you've passed some kind of test you didn't know you were taking.

Yoongi gives you one last unreadable look before finally retreating into his room, the door clicking shut behind him.

You sit there for a moment, processing the entire bizarre conversation. 

In the span of fifteen minutes, you've gone from painting your toenails in peaceful solitude to being drafted into some kind of Protect Jungkook squad with Yoongi, of all people.

Life in Apartment 6B just keeps getting weirder.

Thirty-seven minutes later, you're sprawled on your bed, hair still damp from the shower, staring at Tessa's unanswered text like it's a bomb you need to defuse.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚎𝚢! 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢? 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚋 𝚌𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎? 🙂

You’re second-guessing everything after that conversation with Yoongi. 

Should you really be encouraging Tessa to pursue Jungkook when you know he's still dealing with Mia-shaped emotional shrapnel? Is it fair to either of them?

But then again, who are you to play gatekeeper to Jungkook's love life? Maybe Tessa is exactly what he needs—someone sweet and uncomplicated. Someone who doesn't have the baggage of a toxic ex or whatever the hell happened with his father.

You groan and flop back against your pillows. 

Why do you even care? 

It's not like you and Jungkook are anything to each other. You're just roommates who occasionally fuck. 

You’re barely even… friends.

The word acquires a weird shape in your mind.

You pick up your phone again, determined to respond to Tessa without overthinking it.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚎𝚢𝚊! 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚢. 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚔, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚝 2 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎. 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝?

You hit send before you can change your mind. 

It's just coffee. It's not like you're arranging a marriage.

Truth is, next week’s already packed—Yeji’s gallery prep, that shift you picked up for someone who ‘owes you one’ but never actually pays up, and whatever Jungkook’s been muttering about needing help with but refusing to ask. 

It’s easier to just skip ahead. Two weeks. Feels safer. Less chance of Tessa becoming something to manage short-term.

Her response comes almost immediately.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚊𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚢𝚊𝚢𝚢𝚢 🥰! 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚂𝚢𝚛𝚞𝚙 𝚘𝚗 𝙴. 𝟷𝚜𝚝 𝚂𝚝. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚏𝚊𝚛, 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞!

You know Syrup—it's one of those Instagram-bait cafés with latte art and avocado toast that costs more than your hourly wage. Not exactly your usual haunt, but it's not too far from campus.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚜𝚢𝚛𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜! 𝚒’𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚝 2 💕

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝! 𝚒’𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚘 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚞𝚙! 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜!!!

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚:𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚍𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠? 🤗

You stare at the message, a knot forming in your stomach. 

Because you don't ‘get’ Jungkook. Not really. 

You didn't know about his dad, or the full extent of the Mia situation, or why he disappeared to the rooftop that night. 

You know he likes John Mayer and makes good coffee and his favorite position is cowgirl.

You know he smells like rain and his hands are always warm and he secretly carries cat treats around.

But those are just details, not understanding.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒 ’𝚐𝚎𝚝’ 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚠𝚎 𝚛 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚒𝚏 𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗 :) 

That feels safer. 

Better to lower her expectations now than have her think you're some Jungkook whisperer with all the answers.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚊𝚑, 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢! 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗'𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕, 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕!!

Intimidated by Jungkook? 

The idea is almost laughable. 

How could you be intimidated by someone who once spent twenty minutes trying to coax Griffin out from under the couch with a piece of string cheese?

But then you remember how other people see him—the sharp jawline, the tattoos, the way he carries himself like he’s not actually dumb as hell. 

You can see how someone like Tessa might find him intimidating.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚙𝚏𝚏𝚏𝚏𝚏

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚍𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚡, 𝚜𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚖

You hesitate, then add:

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘 𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠

It feels important to add that caveat, even if you're not sure why. 

Maybe because of what Yoongi told you. 

Maybe because you've seen glimpses of that complication yourself.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠!!

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗, 𝚋𝚞𝚛 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝? 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎, 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚞𝚢

You frown at the screen. There's something about her response that doesn't sit right with you. Like she's romanticizing the very things that make Jungkook difficult—the walls he puts up, the emotional distance, the complications Yoongi hinted at.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝… 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚒𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚌𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚔? 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚘𝚕

You hit send, then immediately regret your tone. That came off way harsher than you meant it to. You're about to type a follow-up when Tessa's reply appears.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚘𝚑 𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 🙈 𝚒'𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚛𝚗

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝... 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗-𝚠𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚜? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚋𝚘𝚢 😣

Oh. That's actually... kind of sweet. Seems like Jungkook really does have a thing for Korean cinema.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚗𝚘 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝! 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎... 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚙𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚢𝚔?

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖. 𝚒 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘!

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒'𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚠/ 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎! 𝚖𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚕 🙈

Your heart softens a little. There's something vulnerable about the way she just shared that personal detail, then immediately apologized for it.

It reminds you of how you sometimes overshare when you're nervous, then backpedal frantically.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚗𝚘 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎! 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚍. 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚘 :(

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 💕 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚘. 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚒'𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖! 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒 𝚍𝚘? 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚜 😔

That actually makes a lot of sense. You can see why she'd be drawn to Jungkook if they share this interest. 

And you know from experience how rare it is to find someone who genuinely cares about the things you're passionate about.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚘𝚗! 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚜𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 🙄

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝?? 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚔𝚊𝚛-𝚠𝚊𝚒 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚕

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚘𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖? 

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 🥺

You can't help but smile a little. She’s clearly excited she is to have found someone who shares her interests. You remember feeling that way with Jason today, when he actually engaged with your thoughts on literature instead of just nodding along.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎! 

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚋𝚝𝚠 𝚒 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛. 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚛𝚗

Tessa takes a moment to reply, the ellipses blinking thoughtfully.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚘𝚑 :( 𝚒 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚘 💕

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚎!! 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚜𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚑𝚊 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛? 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏?

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚝𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜 𝚞𝚙!! 𝚒'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕 🤞

Okay, that feels reasonable. She's acknowledging your concern without getting defensive, and clarifying her own expectations. 

Maybe she's more level-headed than you initially gave her credit for.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍!! 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛�� <3

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚒'𝚖 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚜𝚘 𝚒'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 😴

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝚌 𝚞 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚢𝚛𝚞𝚙! :)

Time to bow out before you accidentally become her relationship coach.

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕!! 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐!! 🥺✨

𝐓𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚: 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊ｙ!! 💖

You put your phone down, feeling a sense of closure on that front, at least for tonight. 

Tessa seems sweet, if a little naive about the potential complications involved with Jungkook. 

But she's also genuinely interested in him for reasons that make sense, and she seems aware enough to proceed with caution.

You roll over, pulling the covers tighter. 

It's weird, offering dating advice about your roommate who you're also sleeping with to a girl you barely know. 

Weirder still that you actually kind of... like her? And want things to work out okay for her?

Maybe you're growing up. Or maybe you're just tired.

Either way, Tuesday is going to be interesting.

goal: 750 notes

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© jungkoode 2025

no reposts, translations, or adaptations

[bernardsbendystraws]

a brutally honest post from me to you.

to preface, I know this is a corner of social media where we fangirl and write fanfiction. i'm aware that these issues are not as severe as irl problems, but just because it's not that serious doesn't mean that a stress/frustration/sadness just goes away.

so yeah, i do know that these aren't the biggest issues that people are gonna face in life, but it's some i wanna talk about. if you don't wanna hear it, scroll. this is a judgement free space and i'll block anyone who disturbs that.

[ posts not doing well hurts. ]

when you're brand new, it kinda sucks. getting traction is hard. people like familiar names with familiar writing styles and layouts. they know what they're getting into.

its not because you're writing sucks, it's because you're different. maybe you have some weak points, but everyone has those at some point. so no, it's not you or your skills, it's because you're new and people like gravitate towards familiar things.

when you're not new, it can really suck. now you know you can get the readers, but sometimes that's almost worse. you'll feel like there's more pressure, that you'll never be able to top xyz. and it really hurts, especially if you make something that you're so proud of and it doesn't get as much traction as you hoped it would.

its not because it's bad. there's so many factors. sometimes it's because one of the triplets posted, maybe just an active period on tumblr where the algorithm is really in your favor, or maybe it was because the readers were sharing your work behind the scenes because they loved it so much.

it varies and it sucks. there's pressure to 'do better' but then you feel kinda stuck. you can't always do better, but you can always do your best.

either way, it's not truly your fault. there's so many factors that contribute to how well a post performs. your efforts are still something you should be proud of regardless.

[ friends ]

this is something i've really struggled with. it's really difficult. social ques are not my strong suit, I take things as they are presented to me. every friendship is different and not all of them are created equal.

some people want to be friends for interaction as a transaction. some people want to be your friend to make it seem like they have a place on sturniolo tumblr publicly. some people want to be friends to be your friend. there's a difference.

doesn't matter who you are, how many followers, or how many fics you have. not all intentions are genuine, even if they aren't necessarily bad.

[ drama ]

i've been in drama and i've also watched it. i've tried hard to avoid it but sometimes it is necessary to call out. when i was a smaller blog there were a lot of big blogs people loved that were straight up mean.

i can say confidently that i've never been mean to someone right off the bat for no other reason than thinking i was better than them. that has and will never happen because i know exactly what it feels like.

talk to a person in private first. i don't care what it is. ask them questions and have them give you direct answers. if it is something deeply concerning like a predator, that is an instance where it is important to speak up since it directly effects people on here.

it broke my heart when the juno / bri situation happened and i had dozens of minors dming me saying something happened but they were too scared to speak up.

i really hope that never happens again, but if it does, people need to feel safe enough to go to an adult on here. i'm happy i was that person for a lot of people because i needed a person like that when i was a kid.

put mdni on all you want, but please don't isolate minors when they are wanting to feel included. that's puts them at an even more vulnerable position and people know that. draw boundaries but keep all of this in mind.

i can and always will admit when i'm wrong even if i'm still hurt by the other person. apologizing isn't something that says 'oh this person is wrong, that person is right,' it's something that is required for basic human decency and respect. if i hurt someone, i want them to at least have the closure of having an apology.

i can't take back the actions or words, but i can validate their feelings and that's really important since we're all human and have feelings.

agree to disagree if you need to at the end of the day, but leave people alone. exposing people for things that aren't necessary is never gonna make you feel better.

interacting and creating genuine friendships will you give a lot more peace and joy then hate and conflict ever will.

point is, treat others how you want to be treated. we're all humans with feelings and coming here for an escape to fangirl and write. do things to make the community better. do things to make yourself happy and proud in the long term.

i appretiate anyone who has stayed to read this, truly. i don't know how much of a difference it will make but i don't care. i said what i said and i meant it. if this helps one person, that already makes it worth it in my eyes.

i love being apart of this community and i hope we can build it to something we're all proud of and wanting to be apart of at the end of the day.

with love and big tits, rose 🫶🏻

[powderpuff-divines]

pick a pile: when love finds you again, how do you wish to be held by it?

what kind of love does your heart yearn for? pick a pile to find out! this is a general reading so not everything may apply to you. only take what resonates and leave the rest. please excuse any grammatical errors or typos. happy reading!!

pile 1 ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

(TW: mentions of bullying, please exercise your own discretion.) seven of wands, queen of swords rev, nine of swords

oh pile one, when love finds you, you'll hiss at its hand the way a stray cat does when someone finally shows it some kindness after experiencing years of living alone on the streets.

people have been cruel to you by way of words and there are still cuts on your soul from that. i'm hearing death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift in my head, more specifically the line 'papercut stings from my paper thin plans.' maybe you made plans with loved ones (friends, family, lovers), went out of your way to do nice things for them and truly treasured them, but then had the gut-wrenching realization that it was not mutual. they could have mocked you for being so sensitive and taking things too seriously. ("oh that? don't tell me you actually thought i was being serious?"). some of you may have been victims of bullying in the past.

so when true, unconditional and kind love finds you, you will not be able to stomach it.

there's a deep level of mistrust and anxiety towards words of sweetness coming from anyone. but when love finds you again, you want do still want its words to be honeyed but true; not a coating of sugar covering rancid intentions.

you could still be beating yourself up for being swayed by other people's words and charms very easily in the past. please stop that. you cannot bully yourself into being better and being stronger. you live and you learn. you cannot be cruel to yourself for falling prey people who were actively trying to mislead you/ cause harm.

when love finds you again, you want its words, true and honest, to wrap you up and hold you in its warmth. to not need to worry about whether it's a ploy to get your trust only to break it again. you want a love so kind that it erases the pain from your past.

pile 2 ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

five of pentacles, seven of wands, knight of pentacles

someone dear to you could have betrayed your trust when it comes to money/finances/assets. for some of you, you do not even wish to acknowledge it or talk about it. 'it happened, i lived. it was miserable but i lived, and i'll never let that happen to me again.' is the type of energy i get from this pile. you could think that there's no point crying over spilled milk.

but that betrayal cut deep. so when love finds you again, you want someone who'll stand right by your side, especially if you go through a tough period like that again (some of you could have even been homeless for a while.)

the people who chose this pile do not necessarily want a flashy kind of love, with dates at the trendiest of places or elaborate gifts/ trips every month. you really want is someone to rely on, a shoulder to lean and cry on and someone who doesn't stab you in the back.

the type of scenario i'm seeing is someone having a breakdown in their dining room trying to balance their checkbook, but your person comes without you even calling for them, squeezes your shoulder, sits down next to you and starts helping you with it.

i feel like there's an emphasis on helping you with it rather than just doing it for you. you could be a very independent person, or maybe you just don't trust someone else to handle things for you again. you want a partner in the literal sense of the word.

(some of you could be thinking 'even if it's someone who doesn't contribute to helping me get back to a good place, i just want someone who won't make it worse. otherwise, i might as well just be alone, right?' and i just want to tell you that please hope for more. you deserve to be loved and taken care of. someone not harming you is just the barest of bare minimum. expect more from your loved ones)

what you really what is someone who'll tell you to hold your head high, put their reassuring hand to your back and guide you. they'll do the scut work with you, they'll make it easier for you to go through the murky waters and not complain about it.

i have a feeling that if someone like that were to actually appear, you would just stare at them for a few moments-- shocked and emotional, but grateful that you get to experience a love like this.

when love finds you again, you wish for it to be steady and unwavering, to hold your hand tight and not let go even once even as it knows that difficult times are ahead. to silently hold an umbrella over your head as it begins raining. to be as comforting as hot cocoa on a cold day. to stay. you want love to be loyal, kind and to stay.

pile 3 ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

(TW: mentions of sexual content. please exercise your own discretion.) ten of cups, page of swords, ten of swords

you want to find the love you've been dreaming of, to get your happy ending, to find the one. you're sick of meeting people who aren't your forever person.

you, out of all three piles, dream of domestic bliss the most. a happy home, a happy family with pets and/or kids. but with the way things have been going, you've become mentally resistant to this dream after so many failed tries and ,if you're aware of it, you hate that. because you never wants to be the type of person who doesn't like love or runs away from love, not after you've spent so long yearning for it.

this could be the pile that daydreams about a soft and romantic love.

the type of love where you're in the kitchen, baking something, and your partner comes behind you, wraps their arms around your waist and kisses your neck as they mutter something that makes your heart skip a beat.

you want someone who won't shut down your ideas, and wants to do fun (and tbh chaotic) stuff with you. you want to go on adventures with this person. (like the way the old couple from Up did when they were young.)

and also really good sex where by the end of it, you're exhausted and completely sated; after which, you lie in your lover's embrace, mindlessly drawing patterns on their skin (they could also do the same for you) with some pillowtalk.

you could also really want to travel to other places with this person and make a lot of memories.

when love finds you again, you wish for it to be in the form of a person in whom you see home. a home for your love, for your joy and smiles. a home that will accept all of it, nurture it and multiply it tenfold. whether it be now, a year later or even decades down the line, you wish to be held in its loving embrace. one could even say you wish to be held by it throughout the ages. you want a love that will transmute the bad days into something easier; a love that will stay forever soft and young as you and your lover grow old and develop wrinkles on your faces (from laughing and having so much joy in your lives.)

i recently decided to join tumblr and was surprised when i discovered that there was a pac community here. it's been super fun going through all the readings here so i thought maybe it would be fun to dip my own toe into it. i had a ton of fun editing the images and this post!! tumblr's so cool. i hope the reading resonated at least a little bit and it was fun to read!

[grison-in-space]

I was hoping you would comment! As usual, this is excellent. I suspect there was at least some gene flow between many of the Southern hound breeds, particularly given the multiple references to crosses between the highly prized, rare-ish Cuban Bloodhounds and more easily abundant local foxhounds and coonhounds being used, especially with eyes to speed over ferocity; in general, the Cuban Bloodhound seemed to have been prized as much or more for its ferocity than for its hunting. I would also not be surprised to see involvement/gene flow between these dogs and American bulldogs and curs.

I think I also go back and forth about how much weight I give to creator intent relative to more recent history re: how the animals are actually being used. Part of that is just because I feel really strongly about honesty in dog breed history, not least because dog people have a long tradition of treating breed history very lightly and with a lot of euphemism or even outright lies--and taking a descriptive tack seems to me to be the fairest way to approach history. I also think more breed historians need to understand that historical research involves corroborating statements across primary sources and other lines of information available to us like genetic mapping.

If I was pointing more fingers, Presa Canario, Alano Espanol, and Ca de Bou are almost certainly descended from the Spanish mastiff strains that first entered the New World and were used as instruments of genocide against indigenous people--just from the dogs that didn't leave. I'm sure there are more: whenever you have a repressive regime and a culture that keeps dogs, you find dogs being used as weapons.

The Russian context (they of the Moscow Water Dog savaging its drowning clients) is an interesting one because it's so strongly divorced from colonial efforts using dogs in the new world, and yet dogs were an incredibly important tool for inciting terror--you can see that by looking at what Russian strains of these dogs actually produced: mostly bigger, scarier, more aggressive versions of other breeds, with the possible exception of the Black Russian Terrier.

Of course many breeds have histories of various levels of unsavoriness. The comparison to pit bulls is perhaps unfair simply because pit bulls are so much more common and popular, but it does seem instructive to me that we have rated dogfighting as a worse sin to carry in the ethics of whether a breed is "worth" preserving than, say, the German Shepherd's use to subjugate and terrorize actual human people. This isn't necessarily an argument against keeping and maintaining them, but I think GSDs by simple merit of being the central military/policing dog have found a number of functions that don't relate to its more unsavory periods of history.

I don't necessarily think the answer for any of these dog breeds is to wipe them off the planet--for one thing, I think that dogs serve as living memories and connection to our own histories for many of us, and those histories get real complex real fast. But I do think that being honest about the worst uses of dogs in history--and how our familiar modern dogs played into that history--helps to reduce the tendency to flinch away from attempts to reckon with our worse histories.

found this really cool article this morning about the history of the use of dogs to oppress BIPOC and particularly the use of the breed referred to variously as slave hounds and Cuban bloodhounds at the time, which was deliberately selected and trained as a weapon of terror. it's a horrifying history, but I think it's worth reading especially for American dog people as we face down a summer of police brutality that will come with the inevitable use of police dogs to perform the same terrorizing function—albeit with more in the way of fine grained, if often theoretical, control over the dog.

I still need to dig out sources to document the relationship between the Cuban Bloodhound and today's Fila Brasilero, because they are strong influences indeed. I am always thinking: what is the ethical underpinning of making the choice to preserve these dogs for the present day? Would it be better or worse to acknowledge their well documented history of colonial violence? We often keep dogs to preserve the parts of our culture and history we want to remember: what role does that play in the case of such a blood soaked, painful history of colonial terror?

Is the rebrand enough to justify keeping the dogs? How about breeds with Cuban bloodhound influence without being the modern form of the strain, such as Rhodesian Ridgebacks? How do the stories we tell about how dogs came to be help us form narratives about our own history?

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 09/06

Anonymous asked: Now that you're so far in, I urge you to check out Ichellor's 3D Homestuck animations! They're super cool, though you may need to be cautious. They're mostly at and prior to cascade, but you can't be too careful.

(All of these were made after Homestuck finished, so many still contain spoilers. Their first video is definitely safe, though. -V)

It's an excellent piece of work, and a great taste of what's to come. I've also watched their Cascade animation - although, according to Vamp, it does contain some subtle spoilers that I missed.

I've been able to check out a lot of the earlier Ichellor videos, but I'm probably going to have to wait a while before I can see their full body of work. Looking forward to it, though.

@mrjocrafter asked: so in literally act 1 rose tries to prototype the tier-1 harlequinsprite with a box of betty crocker cake mix. like imagine if it actually went in. what a doomed timeline that would've been. there's a MSPFA called Nepetaquest 2022 that deals with exactly this. it's peak

That does sound peak. Is the implication that the Sprite would turn into some iteration of the Condesce? I think that's more than the kids could handle, unless Rose had already gone Grimdark.

@manorinthewoods submitted:

The Star Wars example is one that many people already know, but Discworld is also a great shout here. You can easily tell that Pratchett is a sci-fi nerd, through-and-through - and, despite their aesthetics, the Discworld novels have as much fantasy in them as your average Monty Python production.

@adorable-animus asked: just to nitpick, but in an earlier post you said that aradia and equius were together due to mind controlled aradiabot and- you are semi right? equius wanted to be FLUSHED, but the control chip was completely shattered, and aradia instead felt PITCH. i get where youre coming from, but i just wanted to point out that facet of the relationship.

I'm pretty sure they were both - or, at least, they were described as both in the infamous quadrant infodump. Granted, I don't know if this animation necessarily means that both parties are experiencing both quadrants, or if it just means that things are complicated.

And, oddly enough, I don't think Aradia stayed with Equius due to the mind-control chip. That was definitely his intention, but the chip was immediately destroyed, and she kissed him anyway - implying, I guess, that she did have a genuine thing for him, as unlikely as that seems.

...I don't even know, girls. This was a weird one, even for Hivebent.

@mrjocrafter asked: Not sure if you know or have been told this but the reason Kanaya wields a chainsaw Well, Google "why chainsaws were invented"

For a member of a species without mothers, Kanaya sure is drowning in motherhood symbolism, isn't she?

@walkerbehindyou asked: One day, may you be introduced to the fanwork that was Marchingstuck/Promstuck

Apparently, Promstuck still contains some spoilers, and I'd like to experience these two as a unit. Hopefully soon, though!

@count100 asked: I submitted an ask a while back and got a notification saying I was mentioned in an ask comp, but I didn't actually see my ask. In case it was lost: I never really considered just how much it took to make the trolls into monsters, I LOVE your analysis about that. Alongside the factors you discussed, It's possible that the "dreams of blood and carnage" that haunt the trolls originate from Gl'bgolyb, given it is a gift from Doc Scratch.

I'm pretty sure I remember that ask! Sorry it didn't get a response -and yes, it's honestly a little heartwarming to realize just how much the trolls resisted Scratch's corruption.

I could have sworn I answered it, actually, but I can't seem to find it anywhere in this year's ask compilations. It's possible I accidentally deleted it while editing the post, because deleted tags will actually still notify the blog in question when the draft is posted. Tumblr, eh?

@mrjocrafter asked: this is classic old homestuck fandom nonsense from 2011

I'm losing it at the implication that 'Vriska' is an allegory for some real-world political ideology which shares her name.

This is great, anyway. Can you imagine an analogous post being made about today's political climate?

@the-jaffster-official asked: On the subject of Dirk Gently, as someone who read the book and watched all of the show, they have almost nothing in common besides a character named Dirk Gently. However, the show still feels VERY Douglas Adams, especially in the first season. Worth a watch.

Noted. I have been looking for a new show to binge...

Anonymous asked: Damn, you do not trust Gamzee at all.

Well, no! Jesus, would you?

@pineapple-temporarily-moving asked: "ricky schrodinger" was terezi misremembering the name of ricky schroder! @likelyvampirical asked: Ricky Schrödinger is a pun on Ricky Shroder, child star in the 80s sitcom Silver Spoons, which Terezi used to make the gifs featured on pages 2779-2782. This is what Terezi is referencing during the coin incident on page 3097. @morganwick asked: I think "Ricky Schrodinger" was originally a pun on "Ricky Schroder", who was the star of the sitcom Silver Spoons, which Terezi used for some GIFs she sent to Dave. @sanctferum asked: Ricky Schrodinger is a reference to Ricky Schroder, a child actor from the 80s. Terezi defaced gifs of him during that conversation back in Act 4 I think? It's just his name combined with Erwin Schrödinger's name. As for Davesprite, he could already talk out loud on screen via Spritelogs Anonymous asked: Ricky Shcrodinger is a combination of presumably Ricky Schroder (I have no idea who that is, but I believe Dave mentioned him before) and Schrodinger's Cat. Anonymous asked: Ricky Schrödinger is a pun on Ricky Schroder @weltinator asked: Ricky Schrodinger is a reference to Erwin Schrodinger and Ricky Schroder. Former is known for possibly having a cat, latter is known for starring in Silver Spoons, which is the source of the gifs used in Dave and Terezi's MOTH3RFUCK1NG D4NC3 P4RTY.

Also featuring Alfonso Ribeiro (who was later Carlton in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) @semusepsu asked: If you are still wondering about the Ricky Schrodinger joke, I'm pretty sure it's a reference to Ricky Schroder, an American child star from the 70s who starred in a film called 'Little Lord Fauntleroy'. He looks more than a little like Dave in some pictures from that era.

Hell fucking yes.

This is the kind of reference humor that is quite hard to search for on the Collection. Ricky Schrodinger is a pun, not a real name, so it wouldn't have given me any connections to this dance party - and besides, they never actually said Schroder's name in that conversation, so even that wouldn't have worked.

To catch some of these references, you really do need helpful askers. Thank you for your service. o7

@herestoanotherweirdo asked: "ARADIA: i guess ive spent enough time here that i just dont see death as the terrible thing the living make it out to be" i've read this line as like. not just spending a bunch of time in the bubbles, but also having literally been dead herself for a not-insubstantial amount of time!

Oh, that's true, isn't it?

I don't think Ghostradia was ever in the Dream Bubbles herself, but it is true that her months as a wandering spirit would give her a different perspective on death.

Most obviously, it would show her that it's not actually the end of existence in this reality; despite what the living believe, death doesn't obliterate your soul, so it's really not as tragic as everyone thinks.

@liliflower137 asked: The more I reread the more i love karkat He's just such a spicy kitten type of guy. I wanna pick him up and give him a hug and tell him he's going to be safe But he'd definitely bite me and given how dangerous bites from humans can be I think I would probably get all kinds of infections He's just... really a sweet kid underneath it all. He's just scared, so he has to be angry instead. Reminds me a lot of Sanji from one piece :) At least, the parts of him I like haha

I actually think Karkat would fit in pretty well in the world of One Piece. He has exactly the right kind of personality to form and mobilize a crew, and I genuinely believe he has enough determination to manifest Haki.

@liliflower137 asked: I wonder if perhaps Hussie ever read one piece, because the way navigating the furthest ring sounds, it reminds me just a little of the grand line But then again its also just sort of a logical way for a place devoid of time and space to behave, I just really like one piece I wonder if you could get a hyper modified log pose to work out there...

Speaking of One Piece, I've really got to get back to it. I started the manga during the liveblog, and I'm currently most of the way through the Dressrosa arc.

I've been loving the series, but god damn, is it a serious marathon.

Anonymous asked: You're aware that the author for the locked tomb was a Homestuck fic writer, right?

Absolutely. The Serendipity Gospels is probably the fanfiction I'm most excited to actually read - that, and Sburb Glitch FAQ!

Anonymous asked: That scene when Gamzee tells Karkat to settle down is why they’re my favorite ♦️ ship Because in all the others we’ve seen it’s very onesided, with one party needing to placate the violent impulses of another But for them it’s like Karkat says! He stops gamzee from killing everybody and gamzee in return helps him calm down.

It is very funny to me that Gamzee's actually contributing to the moirallegence - for now, at least.

Slightly hypocritical, Makara, but you do you.

@drakethedeep asked: One of the benefits of the Homestuck quadrant system, arbitrary as it is, is that it allows for more platonic and romantic shipping. For example, Karkat<>Kanaya is a fairly decent morail ship, because a) the relationship of their ancestors makes it poetic cosmic symmetry, and b) both of them have a tendency of trying to be the responsible ones amidst their friend groups, and a lot of their interpersonal struggles are very similar.

Plus, one's a Blood Player, and one's a vampire, so we even have thematic synergy!

@liliflower137 asked: I think a lot about your assignment for Fedorafreak as a hope player It really really makes me smile, and I will hold onto it forever

He even references hope directly! Come on, Hussie, the guy deserves better than Piss.

Anonymous asked: so, your theory about karkat weaponizing teamwork and leadership- what do you think about his and gamzee's relationship in that light?

I suppose you could say that if Karkat is able to gain Sober!Gamzee's loyalty, then the group would gain a powerful ally - and consequently, Karkat's team would gain a powerful 'weapon'.

That said, I don't currently think it's possible for Karkat or anyone else to win Gamzee's loyalty. Right now, he's only loyal to Cal.

@duorogue asked: i just looked up your name in some DMs i have - it's with someone who's read homestuck, and I like to point out specific times you've made remarkably good or bad predictions, or figured something out really well, and just realized that the first time you were mentioned in those DMs was october 20th, 2022. five months off three years of following this, and yknow? time well spent

It was time well spent - for me, too. Here's to another three years, I say!

@liliflower137 asked: I've passed you in my personal reread and I keep getting to interesting conversations and lore dumps and going "oh Sally is going to LOVE this!!"

I hope you're right, and it's good to hear there are many loredumps in my future!

@morganwick asked: "#(also. does this mean mind ≈ choices/decisions? because seers 'know' their aspect and terezi can see people's possible decisions?) #(or does mind ≈ 'outcomes'‚ whatever that means?)" I think if you de-purple prose what Rose says it's not really inconsistent with what Terezi has said about her own aspect in the past, same with what Aradia says. Terezi has talked before, and in the confrontation with Vriska demonstrated, how she can trace the decisions people make and the thoughts they have inevitably lead to certain "outcomes". As for "knowing her aspect comprehensively", Terezi has talked about reality being something that people "4R3 M4K1NG 3V3RY MOM3NT W1TH 3V3RY THOUGHT", so at least to her, understanding people's minds means understanding reality, or at least one Aspect of it, and how to extrapolate from what's in people's Minds. (Also, does the link to "my own interpretation of her powers" go to the wrong place? I don't see anything in the linked post that relates to Rose's powers...)

I suppose Terezi's abilities could indeed be themed around sensing outcomes, rather than decisions, as I previously theorized - or, it could also represent some abstract 'Mind' idea with ties to both. With only one Mind Player to analyze, it's hard to say anything definitively.

Also - yeah, I fucked up that link. Will fix it once I get this comp out!

@relaxxattack asked: AAAAAAAAAA YOU FINALLY FIGURED OUT THE BLOOD THINGG!!!! karkat’s powers are quite literally the friends he made along the way… you can see the blood aspect appear in the panel where karkat befriends slick and adds him to their party! karkat’s powers have always been about whether or not he can forge meaningful connections between people to prevent tragedy… or at least, this has been the popular fan understanding now it might make more sense how the troll session might have “lacked blood” as that other ask theorized :)

They're literally blood brothers - and a handshake is also pretty decent shorthand for what I think Blood's all about.

Mind you, I'm not sure if the troll session did lack this interpretation of Blood. Hivebent seemed to imply that the trolls were, in fact, an extremely effective team, all thanks to Karkat's leadership - and the trolls have forged plenty of meaningful relationships across their group, too. If Blood represents strong relationships, then the trolls have Blood in spades, as well as hearts, clubs, and diamonds.

@baeddel asked: Your interpretation of blood definitely seems correct to me! I think blood and breath are a pair, where blood is leadership and bonds while breath is freedom and individuality

I was thinking that those two might be related, since they're both biological functions. Blood might also be in a dyad with Heart, since they're both aspects of the circulatory system.

After all, Nepeta's a shipper who loves relationships, and that seems adjacent to the 'teamwork/bonds' theming that characterizes Blood.

@manorinthewoods asked: I think Dave and Rose are an 'unbeatable combination' because Rose has a very powerful ability to navigate the present and future to ensure optimal outcomes, and Dave (being a time traveler) has a very powerful ability to actually enact what Rose needs done. Rose, after all, is a squishy wizard - and one wouldn't imagine Seers have any physical *or* magic damage. ~LOSS (22/5/25)

Good interpretation. I suppose Dave is technically one of the more 'durable' God Tiers around, since his time duplicates can't die in the Alpha Timeline until they've fulfilled all their loops.

Anonymous asked: I'm not familiar with Worm, so Contessa wasn't my first thought re: Rose's new power, but I did think of Sagume Kishin from Touhou, whose power is kind of similar to the Contessa example but in reverse: "When she speaks about a particular situation or event, that situation will eventually proceed to reverse itself, through whatever means possible. If she speaks about an attempt to achieve a goal, it will fail in some way. If she speaks about something bad occurring, it will be resolved in some way. [...] Note that it is the situation or the event she talks about that will be reversed in some manner; it is not that the opposite of what she says must occur."

I like this power a lot. Touhou seems to have a lot of really clever powers - which is weird, because I always thought it was a mostly plotless bullet-hell game. I guess there are tie-in materials?

I've really got to play Touhou sometime, but there are so many games, and I have no idea where to start.

@clueless-rarito asked: I remember I once come up with a characters with a power very similar to this "path of victory" stuff by pure coincidence. He was able to see "the realm of fortunes" a ethereal plane where one could discern the chance of success or the possible outcomes of any one actions. By completely shutting down his own mind and giving it to the "the will of fortune" his body would automatically lead him and carry any action needed to guaranteed the most favorable outcome for himself in any given scenario.

Nice. These abilities are sort of the ultimate expression of a 'luck-based' power - a power that guarantees the most optimal outcome possible. Now that Rose has a similar ability, she's finally thematically cohesive with Vriska!

@catofulthar000 asked: There are SO MANY classpect things (and other things) I desperately want to theory swap about with you because you are picking out SO MANY delicious classpecty details (and other things) but not always quite connecting them to classpects- BUT I am: A) not caught up with your live blog on account of being busy with doctorate degree stuff and trying to be responsible by not getting totally sucked into Homestuck stuff again (failing) so I have no idea if FWS (FUTUREwertSearch) actually HAS connected the dots (or some dots) already so I, PUC (PASTultharianCat), would just be saying redundant stuff to you B) not sure if pointing out things that you're pointing out are maybe or maybe not linked to things that might be solidified later even if they're being hinted at throughout- or might just be linked to wider collaborative aggregations of themes and patterns- would be too spoilery... [EXAMPLES THAT MAY OR MAY NOT REQUIRE REDACTION BY CAT (yours) OR BE REDUNDANT TO FWS] Like Time being strongly linked to the concept of Death and all time players having an affinity for it (archaeologist/necromancer Aradia, Dave's oft overlooked hobby of collecting preserved dead things (and less death related but his photography enjoyment could also be seen as him preserving moments in Time)) or [REDACTED] or [REDACTED] And basically that one thing you said about Sburb's Aspects maybe also being linked to authorial elements (or perhaps, I might nudge your thinking, metatextual narrative elements?) and oh my gosh I have SO MUCH I want to posit theorywise to you about that because you point out so much good stuff and just sdfalskjdfhakg;kskjfasdfhlkajsdfrrrraaugh! [END REDACTIONS MAYBE PROBABLY] (I'll say this much, both redactions above are meta interpretations of an aspect, but I'll give you an opportunity to come up with them yourself. -Vamp) Anyway there is just a lot I want to say, and a lot of idea threads you have made I want to tie into other thoughts, or perhaps cables you have laid that I want to plug in to other extension cords, and I have been trying to bite my tongue at least until I catch up but I have still added some replies to old posts of yours that I'm not sure you will ever see- tbh idk how popular you may have gotten or how many asks you get now or if you can even realistically reply to all of the ones that you get but I guess what I'm getting at is that you make me so excited about all of the really complex interwoven stuff in Homestuck and I really want to talk to you about it. Also you're very cool and smart and thank you for sharing this liveblog it is excellent. -PUC

If Time is death-themed, though, then where does that leave Doom? Because Sollux's arc was saturated with themes of death, and I've always assumed that was because of his Aspect.

Anyways, thank you for the kind words! I'm still doing my best to reply to the majority of asks, so if you do want to talk Homestuck, my ask box is always open - and as for your replies, I'll be checking out all the blog's replies at the end of the liveblog.

Anonymous asked: does john have the context to be making that joke on purpose, though? iirc, the only time it's come up for him, vriska opted Not to tell him what it Actually means, instead just saying All cleaning products are Vaguely Taboo. funny either way

There's no definitive answer - but personally, I think that John was at least able to pick up that buckets were an innuendo in troll culture.

When it comes to pranks, our boy's got a killer instinct - so I think his specific reference to the bucket's 'heartfelt payload' was just a very lucky shot.

@sanctferum asked: watch Karkat's mental breakdown again. Particularly the end of it. There might be a special little secret hidden in there to perchance click upon...

The inner mechanisms of Hussie's mind are an enigma.

@dopplesgryndthloggle submitted: Here u go

https://www.tumblr.com/aerofarce9/91930492500/got-bored-so-i-got-on-google-and-made-this?source=share (og post)

@wickedsick submitted: A handy rOWOse for whatever you may need it for

Hell yeah. I knew y'all would come through!

[simplepotatofarmer]

Something I noticed recently is that Dream punches Techno in the prison when Techno first comes to visit him and he’s upset that Techno fell into the trap. And Dream also punches Techno when Techno is making fun of him being homeless and places the bed, suggesting Dream could use it to sleep under a tree.

In fanfics and stuff I haven’t necessarily seen much of Dream physically hurting Techno when annoyed or whatever like maybe a little shoving or punching playfully on the shoulder rarely but not like actually really punching him ya know. But I did notice in some fics including your fics that you have Dream giving him the finger so I was wondering if that was kinda your replacement for it, or if it was kinda derived from that behavior. I mean it makes a lot of sense whether or not it is related, like that is the kinda dynamic between them anyways so it is fitting. But I don’t know it’s just something I’ve been thinking about and was curious on your thoughts.

(Also the image of Dream socking Techno in the face and breaking his nose when upset is just kinda funny to me. I did notice too that Techno never punches back and just kinda lets it happen which is pretty wholesome)

i think it's because i don't tend to translate minecraft behaviors as a one-to-one exactly but more looking towards the situation and context surrounding it.

so like, obviously when c!techno is teasing c!dream about being homeless in a generally good-natured way that dream is clearly amused by, he's not actually hauling off and punching techno in the face. like. not only does techno not react like that's what happened, it doesn't make sense, and in minecraft rp culture, that's just not what that action would mean in that scenario. punching is usually a playful thing that kind of situation so it translates more to a light, joking shove or smack on the shoulder. OR maybe being flipped off (which i generally use post-prison because dream is hyper aware of his situation and not wanting to upset the balance but i have written dream shoving or otherwise smacking techno playfully as well!)

in the prison, that's a completely different context though and clearly not playful but again, i don't read it as dream cold-clocking techno either. he's frustrated and upset and scared. that read more like someone desperately shouting at the other while shoving them. and i think that was kind of the intent when you watch. he's almost hitting/shoving him back. i can perfectly visualize dream shouting those things at techno while shoving at him and techno is standing there like ???? calm down, man, it's fine, i had to come see you. like, there's probably a reason that techno doesn't physically react because what he's seeing is a starved, scared and angry dream shoving him in a panic, thinking his one chance at getting out is gone.

basically, i really look towards the context and what makes sense as well as how the other characters react and refer to it to determine what's actually going on.

also sorry, i love minecraft rp body language and i LOVE interrupting it. things like dream jumping up and down when techno is teasing him and he's amused/annoyed, i tend to read as him stomping his foot or things like that. zoomies can be both pacing in worry or excitement or fidgeting/shifting back and forth. it really depends on a lot of things and it's a lot of fun to me to sit down and try to break it down and i do put a lot of that into my fics! <3 <3 <3

[barblaz-arts]

So I try to stay out of any hellaverse discourse or whatever and I only recently became a fan of Hazbin last year… that being said I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A WHOLE DEC*PIT*TION THING W VAGGIE???? Like??? Tf?

And it’s only now that I’m seeing it lol. Like you had mentioned the disgusting art that was pretty early on in the shows beginnings on Twitter, but now I’m seeing more and more of it resurface like it was somehow summoned to me? Even the “cutesy” dec*p is just somehow weird to me.

(But it works for eda.. maybe bc it’s like a canon part of her character idk) now I’m just rambling out loud.

Don’t even get me started on the other gross p*do shit that’s also going around. I’m just appalled. Why do fans gotta be like this?

(Context for tumblr folks: this is about a recent twitter thread revealing multiple violent art of Vaggie by multiple people during the show's pilot era and a fairly popular Ch*ggie artist who made art where Vaggie is a "loli". The ch*ggie artist is only on Twitter tho so u dont have to worry here)

If you want a serious answer? A lot of people think that just because we're dealing with content about fictional characters, that it means all bets are off. While fiction is a helpful way to explore darker topics to either process things or cope with trauma without actually doing them, a lot of people in fandom don't really consider the fact that there are still real people interacting with that piece of fictional art that will feel real feelings and react in the real world. If you're going to create content that hurts people's feelings or behave in a way that would, even if it's a "joke", you have to be prepared for the consequences that it may entail. If you just don't give a fuck, then you're an asshole not because you're "hurting" a fictional character, but because you're making violent art of an otherwise harmless character that means a lot to a minority group for petty reasons. That character you hate isn't real, but the fans of that character that you're being very rude to either in direct interactions or unnecessary hate posts that invade their fandom corners are very real people. Hating a ship by itself isn't necessarily bad either, but expressing it with so much passion that you'd go so far as draw gore of a lesbian character to have your het ship bond over may imply things about you that goes beyond just discourse over ship preferences.

"It's just a ship! Why are you so pressed?" they might say, but that's exactly the point. It's just a gay character/ship. Why are you so full of vitriolic hate over them?

Even with the case for people into lolicon art. While you're not hurting real kids, you're damaging your own psyche by continuing to indulge in such a thing with the intention of having it arouse you. What people like that need is therapy to somehow overcome it, not feed it. It ain't good for you.

Anyways. This fandom sure is. Something.

[indecisiveavocado]

1. To be fair it's not like all lifestyle changes were being made. the big change was that there was significantly less use of personal transportation vehicles. And while my spatial sense is horrible, it looks like we'd need to reduce it by about one 2020/year to stay below 1.5 degrees Celsius of warming (in 2021)

3. it's what's most widely used, so i used that. however, other sources don't seem better. according to crippa et al 2021, over one-third of global emissions are food-related. clark et al concur on meat being the primary cause: "Higher impact Aisles [they used grocery store aisles] with an average estimated score from 5 to 10 included nuts, sweet and savory spreads, cheese, fish, and some meats (pork and poultry). The highest impact Aisles with estimated scores >10 primarily contained beef and lamb products".

Looking at the more detailed breakdown in Appendix 1, of the top 10 worst scoring food categories, 4/10 were meat, 1/10 was unclassifiable ('counters' -- they were doing food), 1/10 was an animal product (cheese) and the other four were coffee, tea, hot drinks, and hot chocolate. so I suppose you could argue that Greta should also be arguing against tea and coffee.

notably, dairy and meat alternatives both ranked in the top 15 least emissions heavy food categories. (Also: food alone could push us over 1.5 degrees.)

also, while it's true we use other parts of the animal, your comparison to almonds is disingenuous. a better comparison would be cheese vs. almonds - both can be produced while the animal/plant is still alive. incidentally, the category containing nuts in clark's study is at #28.

and i'm not saying (and i don't think greta is saying) that we should eat only nuts and drink only coffee. but meat is a generally high-emissions product that is reasonably easy to cut out of your diet--there isn't really a 'nut-free' alternative to almonds. (also, if you google 'nut free' you're likely to get quite, uh, different results than if you google 'meat free')

4. yeah that's what I'm saying? but you ascribe a sort of malicious intent and knowledge of what they're doing to the people in this slide, when in reality I don't think that's necessarily supported.

but thank you! I was forgetting what it was like to have the fun challenge of researching this sort of thing without it being antisemitic!

I’ve seen a few of the antisemitic blogs make statements like “Greta was Times person of the year a few years ago, but since she linked climate change to colonialism they dropped her” or some variation thereupon.

And here’s the thing.

That’s not the reason.

Everyone dropped Greta because she offered nothing to the climate change problem.

She was a novelty as she was a child who was so singularly focused on climate change that it distressed her to the point of going mute. It distressed her so much that she dropped out of school. It distressed her so much that when she stopped being mute she started yelling at adults and it became her sole thing.

And that got her attention.

Here was a child who gave up being a child in order to bring attention to climate change.

Except we’d already had people who have been doing that for years. Again, it was just that she was a novelty because of how young she was.

Her “solutions” were also nothing new or novel.

Reduce your personal carbon footprint, switch to a vegetarian/vegan/vegetable heavy diet, contact your local politicians, etc…

These are all things that climate activists have said for years, and many of them are not actually solutions.

The whole claim that the individual civilian reducing their carbon footprint en masse will help reduce emissions was debunked during the pandemic when everyone’s footprint went down due to us all being stuck at home and it did almost nothing.

That’s when we all realized that the main emitters were massive corporations, businesses, and the energy sector and that the whole “reduce your footprint” narrative was coming from them in order to avoid responsibility. And the activists had been eating that up for years and spreading it around like gospel. They had been duped.

The whole thing about switching to a plant based diet makes no sense when animal agriculture is maybe 50% in total of the entire agricultural sector which is between 10-20% of global emissions. This one is particularly maddening because a lot of these activists like to blame Animal Agriculture as the number one emitter and/or the worst thing ever. Except it’s a percentage of one of the smallest sectors and literally does not have, and cannot have, as big an impact as the energy sector. Furthermore, all the alternatives to products that are made from the animal sector are much worse for the environment (e.g. plant based leathers need to be paired with petroleum/plastic based products and are not sustainable). These are the same people who scream that, typically, scream that GMOs and conventional Ag is bad while organic is the greatest thing ever, all the while they ignore the limited yields and increased inputs of organic.

Essentially they’re asking you to believe that a percentage of one of the smallest sectors has a bigger impact than it actually does and that you the consumer can fix it.

It makes no sense, and people have caught on to that.

And everyone has been contacting their politicians about this stuff for years.

The reality is that activists like Greta offer no actual solutions.

If she had actually gone to college and decided to pursue a career in climate science and relevant fields in order to bolster her work and develop solutions then maybe she’d be taken seriously. But she has a high school education and offers nothing more than an ignorant juvenile take on problems. Her solutions are not solutions, they’re just what ignorant activists shriek about because they don’t know what to actually do. They can’t actually understand the science, the mechanisms, and the methods because that takes years of education and experience.

If at most you have is a high school degree and you’re not furthering your education in any way then there is no way you’re going to actually provide an answer that the experts aren’t already working on.

The solutions to the issues are developed by experts with years of education and experience who are trying to address specific problems. Animal Agriculture scientists specifically are developing feeds to reduce methane emissions, Agricultural scientists specifically see certain inputs and outputs and want to improve yields while decreasing problematic outputs, ecological scientists are working on solutions to address the Ag/Wild environmental interchange. Scientists and experts work for years on a singular problem or set of problems in their particular field as it relates to climate change and develop a solution or way to reduce the impact of the issue.

It’s never an activist screaming that something needs to be done that fixes the issue, because it’s already being worked on. The activist is only coming from a place of passionate ignorance that they think is informed, but we’ve known about this stuff for years and it’s honestly wearing thin.

That’s why Greta is no longer the “darling of the Liberals” or whatever else you want to say as a tongue in-cheek barb.

She was a novelty that eventually lost its novelty and everyone saw her activism for what it really was: the same recycled fear mongering we’ve heard before.

That’s why she’s jumped ship from climate change to the anti-Israel crowd. The climate change community wants you to actually be educated on the topic and provide solutions, her new group does not. They want you to say the same canned lines, cliches, and catechisms. They don’t want a peaceful solution, but a violent one. They don’t want to provide a narrative based upon the vast nuances of the historical fact, but one that is steeped in antisemitic propaganda that trivializes and reduces everything to a black and white perspective.

That’s much easier than being educated and providing hard fixes that are incremental and occur over time. Much easier to scream about the omnicause and that there’s one “final solution”.

[phantom-of-christine]

might i art request striker trying to be seductively* manipulativne to millie the way he is to moxxie? i still feel that striker coulda worked great as millie's personal rival/creep, esp after ghostfuckers showed they used to have a similar worldview (imps as unimportant and weak, needing to obey greater demons to have value, with striker positioning himself as superior due to not being fully imp)

*don't necessarily gotta be with romantic intent

So I meant to make a single drawing... And ending up making a really rough animation ToT

Okay, but you're so right. Striker vs Millie normally? Wonderful. SEDUCTIVELY?? YESSSSSSS!!!! I think I just like drawing Striker as a creep, but whatever Southern on southern fuckery is happening here I love it.

I think they're dynamic is super cool, and I hope it gets explored in canon!! I think Striker preying on they're insecurities would really help bring back the vibe he had during s1ep5. I want my snake to be a cool and nasty villain again!!!

My phone is on 1 percent omg.

Thank you for the ask!! This one was really fun to do!

Whats this ship name? Strillie? Correct me if I'm wrong lol.

[bbuzz28]

Fiddleford is a liar.

He contextualizes his lies as being for the greater good-but he still lies.

I think people sometimes overlook this trait. Outside of calling him a two timer on his wife (Emma-May, I would treat you so much better, run away with me), it’s all pretty much treated as a joke. "Silly little banjo playing Fiddleford who goes crazy by scrambling his brains like eggs in a skillet after a monster attack." It's a very convenient compartment to slide him into without digging much deeper.

However, I think it runs so much deeper than that. To lie so effortlessly and all the time, it takes practice. I think he has been lying probably for his entire life-so much so that he doesn't even consider it to be lying. The entire foundation on what he eventually builds his cult is "helping" the townsfolk by "protecting" them from the "terrible" truths that surround them in Gravity Falls.

Only a practiced liar would invent something like the memory gun. Because at the end of the day, when you are lying all the time, you are able to convince yourself of the lies for a little while-but not forever. (If you are not a narcissist, which of all the things Fiddleford is, he is not that.) You will wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and remember what you did or what you are trying to cover up. The aspect of control over what at the time seemed controllable with a few false words now causing your heart to race, your breath to hitch, your head to ache. So, then you lie more, to cover up all the loose threads that would lead to what you've done. Eventually, you have dug a hole so deep, there is no end in sight.

The answer is simple-tell the truth, right? It would be the "right" thing to do...and it would shatter everyone's interpretation of you. Possibly dissolving any of the relationships you've built. Relinquishing control of the scenario you created. Because when you tell the truth, it turns into the "well, why would you do this?" conversation. Who wants to hear "because I wanted you to like me", "I didn't want to disappoint you", "I didn't want to make you angry" or "I wanted to be useful" in response? To see that look of utter disenchantment in their eyes as all your lies are revealed.

But....what if you could e r a s e the truth from your own memory? And not only your memory, but the memory of whomever you lied to. They would never have to know what you did. You would never have to face it. And you would never again be overcome with the feelings of inadequacies that triggered you to lie in the first place.

You wouldn't have to disappoint anyone, or yourself, ever again.

The Memory Gun started as a clever band aid to the trauma of the Gremloblin incident, yes. But it turned into something much more dangerous in the hands of an established and practiced liar.

[ethanscrocs]

Sailor Moon Design Musings!

i've been thinking a lot about shape design in sailor moon, specifically because i noticed that when i draw usagi, i emphasize these little details quite a bit. now, i don't feel entirely certain that all of these were intentional, but it does get me thinking. sailor moon's design in the early seasons of the 90s anime is very clear-cut and sharp, and it's cultivated in something quite iconic. yeah, it's generally the same costume as the manga, but there are elements of the design that feel... intentional? what i wouldn't give to ask people who worked on the anime if they were aware of these details or if they were added to her design purposefully...

edit: and omg, her compact brooch follows the same logic as the rubies on her buns in that it's a circular shape with a smaller circle inside that abstracts the shape of a crescent moon, kind of? ALSO. the tiaras on the sailor senshi follow this logic and in some art it seems more intentional than others.

if you count all of these details, plus the already obvious shapes, there would be 14? different moon shapes in her design!

(16 in this image)

you just can't beat her! to me, this is clearly a character design that was already gorgeous but is more than perfected for animation. i love it! 🌙

bonus - usagi's anime concept art:

maybe i'm just imagining things but (and god do i wish i had a higher quality and translated version of this image) this is feeding my brainworms. maybe i'm right about a thing or two, a couple of the elements i mentioned above seem even further emphasized here... hm... 🔍

[silent-sanctum]

Okay first off, that meme should be for YOU and not me, because unlike the image you sent, I responded to each of your sentences DIRECTLY with short, straight-to-the-point counters. Meanwhile, you made the effort of writing whole ass paragraphs pulling headcanons and assumptions out of your ass in an attempt to argue with me.

I wanted my reply to be short and cute, but you decided to continue preaching, so here we are ♡

Plus your arguments completely missed the point of my post: I talked about how he's not a misogynist… not that he's not gay. And most of your words were of "Oh but he's queer!". So… again… that picture applies to you more than me lmao.

AGAIN. Because SOMEHOW, you're not processing it: It's okay to have a headcanon! All headcanons are valid! If you say "he has queer undertones" then good on you! That's a valid take!

My point is that don't try to convince me that your headcanon is universal, alright? That's what I'm trying to drill in that head of yours. I have my own headcanons and you have yours. I don't see those said undertones, and let's agree to disagree on that.

And I just know you haven't found my newer essay so I'm going to hold your hand bestie and link it right here. But if you still refuse to open it, I'll screencap the necessary answers for you~

Now let me counter your points AGAIN (because you decided to double down):

---

"Jotaro doesn't bond with the men he's around. I think this is also extremely wrong. He gets along with the men just fine, it's the women-"

Miss ma'am… you forget this is a Shonen anime with a predominant male cast. There's not much women to talk to anyway? And no one's saying that he doesn't like his friends, because it is SHOWN to us he does have fun with them, hence why he's sentimental of the group.

Again, there is INSUFFICENT evidence of him ACTIVELY hating on women. All his negative gestures to those you cited as examples? Were of girls who were being unreasonably loud and fawny. He got annoyed by the noise and told them to not be loud. But my god, did he demean them in anyway?

---

"But your gonna sit here and tell me Jotaro Mr. Wears A Chain on his Collar, tells the nurse not to mess up his pants, wears his jacket undone, never takes off his custom uniform isn’t a homosexual?"

Again… in a point about he's not a misogynist, you keep bringing up the gay bit. That ain't the point bestie~ Also, you talking like I'm missing the point when you bring up the nurse wanting to snip his pants to treat his wounds. What's the correlation??? Like yes, I don't want my expensive ass pants to be cut when it can be stitched easily.

Regardless, you are aware that the reason he dresses up the way he did is because of the Bancho aesthetic (you know, be trendy with the time of 80's JAPAN. Not America. JAPAN), right? He also dresses as such because he's a teenager who wants to look cool and be punk among his peers… you know… like a Bancho delinquent?

And you know what else was the standard go-to shortcut to looking extra cool was? Wearing black and gold chains. You want an example? Here's an example of my favorite group of boys wearing black and gold chains in their younger years in an attempt to look cool and hip.

---

OKAY! Again with the "misogynists can still love the women in the family bit". Yes, that's true. But it doesn't necessarily apply to him now.

He's 17 trying to look cool. What he's doing during those FIRST 2 episodes was simply him being the "Mom, you're embarrassing me!" teen. And I don't know about you, but he clearly doesn't mean what he says. All that big talk of him saying what he said? He doesn't actually mean it bestie. He barks a lot but does the opposite.

His intentions were always out of the love he has for Holly. And she knows that. Suzy Q knows that. That's why they're unfazed by his rude words.

Misogynists mean what they say. When they say you're a bitch, then they genuinely think you are a bitch, and think you're lesser than them. This doesn't quite apply to Mr. I-love-my-mama's-cooking, I-wait-for-my-mama's-bye-bye-kisses, you-don't-look-well-you-should-rest, will-travel-the-world-for-you-mama Jotaro.

I also cited some examples of him engaging with women outside of family in my new essay! If you pulled the stick out your ass enough, you can see actual arguments there ♡.

---

"As for his wife, we don’t KNOW if he loved her or not-"

"But there’s clearly evidence that it wasn’t only just “protecting her from stand users” there was something else definitely going on-"

WE DON'T KNOW. The key words are right there. And all what you said after are now delving into YOUR HEADCANONS. And I don't know how many times I have to say this: Your headcanons are valid! Just don't preach them to me as if it was something EXPLICITLY shown on screen.

'Clearly there's evidence-' Where? Where bestie? Is the evidence in the room with us?

Also, I know Araki references a lot of Western pop culture into his works, but you speaking like you're besties with Araki is weird. It's also unrelated to the misogynist point but sure "i'M tHE onE LOsinG tHE plOT"

---

"Yet when we see them interact in prison while he’s trying to save his daughter from certain death he doesn’t exchange much words of sympathy like one’s father might."

… Are we talking about the same person here? This is Jotaro we're talking about, the guy who's shit at communication and can't express his feelings well. ESPECIALLY in a high-risk dangerous situations like… mmm I don't know… breaking a criminal out from jail and evading enemy Stand users simultaneously.

His priority was to get her to safety from the cops and the enemies, not to sit her down for a minute and suddenly enter into family therapy.

Also "doesn't exchange much words of sympathy"… when we should be aware that words are something he isn't good with, and that his love language is Acts of Service: He willingly commits a crime to break his daughter out of jail even if it meant putting himself in danger, sacrifices his life for her not once BUT TWICE, and if you REALLY NEED words from a father who loves his kid:

"I've always cherished you, Jolyne…" "You've grown, Jolyne…"

"It doesn’t ever make up for Jolyne’s trauma"

How??? Do you think in a high-risk danger situation he's able to completely unpack the baggage that was his absence? MY HEADCANON is that he might have planned to talk and explain everything about his absence AFTER bringing her to safety.

---

"He's almost 30! Calling teenager girls bitches-"

Alright. Let me quote the ACTUAL subs from DIU Episode 1, and you can look it up on YT: "Shut up! I hate when girls FREAK OUT! Get out of here!"

Now… did he say they were bitches? Read it again. Where was the word "bitch", hm?

'Oh but he said he hates girls-' WHEN THEY FREAK OUT a.k.a being unnecessarily loud. Which is valid because it's objectively annoying. Apparently, it's inconsiderate and misogynistic for someone to have some peace and quiet… pop off, I guess?

---

"And you act like gay men can’t exist like which is another problem I find in gay spaces.. and it doesn’t take much to find a tumblr post-"

Again… not my point. My point was you found my OLD ASS post from a year ago in a tag that updates with new posts daily. And now you're putting words in my mouth because where did I say gay men can't exist in certain spaces.

See? Pulling assumptions out your ass.

Also again, the whole gay topic? Not my point. At all. Lmao. You don't see me reblogging "he ain't gay! You wrong!" in someone else's post now, hm?

Because… let's repeat this again children… "All Headcanons are Valid! It's okay to have them because it's subjective interpretation!"

Or… and I'm not going to sugar coat this, alright? You placed words in my mouth so I'll put some in yours: "You're saying he's misogynistic to fuel your mlm ship. Complete disregard to women makes it a guarantee that he's gay and loves the other man in my ship."

I'm just saying ♡

---

Anyways, just got back from my week long vacation you know touching grass and all and yes, I'm not gonna censor your name because lmao you found my old ass post and that's wild. But first off-

From your local Asexual, Happy Pride Month to all of the LGBTQ community!! 🤗🌈✨️

And happy Pride to my Pookie Jotaro Kujo, my *HEADCANON because I cannot stress this enough* biromantic demisexual king 😊🫶

Firstly, I just wanna say kudos to user @misspayn-e for finding my old ass in defense post when I've written a more detailed and newer essay in relation to the post you reblogged.

Second of all, you are a grown ass woman seething over an explained counterargument about a fictional character's sexuality. Like damn girl the effort.

But since I'm resting from jet lag right now, I'll breakdown your short dislike reblog and yap 😊

"I'm sorry-"

No you aren't. Let's not lie lmao.

"your MAN"

Yes, as a person with vision, he is a cis male with XY chromosomes and human male anatomy parts.

"Is a misogynistic gay man who uses misogyny to cover up his deeper feelings for men"

... alright. To all my audience reading. Friendly reminder: You can headcanon your favorite characters as any sexuality unless it's told EXPLICITLY by the author ♡

This sentence reads as a headcanon stemmed from either real-life experiences or a wattpad/fanfic story. Like it ain't that serious ma'am. And you are seething at me like you're Araki and your headcanon is real.

From my perspective and I have to stress this again, the canon material doesn't provide me substantial cues that he was closeted... at all. So, I don't get that level of passion in your sentiment.

Let's not do that. Okay? Pull that stick out of your ass ♡

"Mind you in Part 4, Jotaro is 40 something"

Not to be that person, but "uhm actually 🤓👆" , Jotaro is 28 in Part 4. What you're referring to is Part 6.

If you're gonna seethe at me, seethe right.

"He's still yelling at women!"

My dear audience, this is why context is important ♡ Why did he yell at them? Because the girls were being obnoxiously loud, just like when he was a teenager.

But if you can see past that, you can see how he matured past his teenager phase as talks with other women that's not yelling straight into his eardrums (i.e Tomoko and his calm response to her despite the lady squealing her love over and over again)

"You can still have feelings for women and still be sexist towards them"

Yes. That's true. And I've explained that thoroughly in my essay, but that doesn't apply to him necessarily... unless you're projecting that is. I'm just saying.

Now onto the pictures:

Great, and I'm also not interested in men so much (asexual). Does that necessarily mean I'm a closeted lesbian?

Again. Headcanon your favorite characters anything you want. If you want to think of him as a gay man, then go ahead. More power to you 💪.

I think of him as an asexual / demisexual and that's MY headcanon if you're assuming I picture him as completely straight.

But don't reblog me and come at me to preach about your headcanon, alright?

Again, context is important ♡

I don't know about you, but if I see this random person freely roaming, OVERLY FAWNING, and telling me "oh naurrr, please help me~ I'm in dire need of help~" in someone's shady residence, and NOT think of it as an obvious trap-

Then I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you.

Anyways, I don't know what lengths you had to go through to find my old defense post, but kudos I guess. You want a medal? 😊🏅

Happy Pride Month everyone! 🎉🏳️‍🌈✨️

[andiv3r]

Having to block everyone who has "wincest dni" in their bio not because I ship wincest (because I have come to the conclusion that I actually don't) but because I do think it'd be fun to poke around at the very real weirdness of their relationship that I've noticed in the show so far. And I'm 99% sure that my poking around will get seen as shipping.

[aromantic-and-aromatic]

I'll shut up abt jenova one day, but the idea that hojo is so proud of himself for having created sephiroth bc his will is so strong he can become a god using jenova just for sephiroth to have actually been influenced by jenova bc his mind wasn't strong enough to withstand jenova's control from how hojo raised him will not leave my mind

[clownowo]

questions...

[ceramicbeetle]

know there’s a lot of fandom appeal in hawkeye returning home after the war and getting “proper” psychiatric treatment for [pre-existing] mental illness but frankly rewatching Dr Pierce and Mr Hyde and Give 'Em Hell Hawkeye back to back makes me feel like hawkeye returns and becomes embroiled in the antipsychiatry movement instead

because the disparity between Trapper’s fond “He’s just unstable” that ties Directly to the war’s impact on Hawkeye’s sense of empathy and morality and BJ’s derisive “I'd say there was no point in letting this drive you crazy, but I can see I'm too late” that more explicitly dismisses his behavior as being baselessly irrational and pathetic is enormous, and I think with hindsight it wouldn’t escape Hawkeye’s notice. He is a character who remained relatively unchanged over the seasons — it was the way that people began to respond to, dismiss, and pathologize* his behavior that shifted dramatically enough to make him go from being “the sanest person [Sidney] knows” to being considered “Crazy”.

*"Pathologize" doing a lot of heavy lifting here. this isn't to say that Hawkeye isn't experiencing a break in reality in GFA, he absolutely is, the Point is that there's a horror story in the insistence that his psychosis in GFA is part of a history of unstable behavior, something Internal, something Individual, something caused by His Brain, rather than being a 'reasonable' response to an utterly unreasonably horrific situation, leading to him being forced into a treatment like heavy medications or ECT because it's more Convenient to label him as an already unstable Outlier than acknowledging the political, military, and traumatic situations that he was forced into that Directly Caused his behavior, you know?