#I don't know why I can't stop laughing?
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#I don't want to draw kusarigama#drows#sand siblings#temari#kankuro#gaara#Experimenting is fun when you stop to keep judging your own work (in the unnecessary way)- Like.. why'd I color things like pudding oh well#Lee's BANGS#Lee's so weird here.. lee's so.. he's hard to draw why why.. the coloring though.. I'm done. I don't want to bother with it#Many artists here just.. color their drawings as if “No.. this is no problem AT ALL”#Putting this journey in the tags so when I look back here in the future and seeing this.. I'll be like: I can't believe I'm cringe#Why am I like this though.. why.. these things aren't necessary to hear though.. You work hard.. you did it at least#Thank you.. I myself unsure#No they won't laugh at you - I know.. thank you - This whole thing shouldn't determine you as a person.. if it's bad.. it's okay..#It doesn't mean you're bad too - Okay.. thank wait.. why suddenly aiming me personally.. this isn't about that - Love you - ... :)
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast‚ even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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Chetney: This is it, Laudna! Death is coming for us!
Laudna: Not again!
#i don't know why imogen chet and laudna being blown over by the wind is KILLING me#i can't stop laughing#critical role#bell's hells#cr3e66#cr spoilers#cr lb
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I swear why are half the things i like/fandoms im in made of mostly younger people while the other half are mostly older people? what are the zoggin odds with that?
How it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 30-40 somethings.
VS how it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 14-17 somethings.
like am do i just have extremely odd luck with things i like or is this just what being 20 is like?
#I go browse homestuck twitter and find out an artist I like is turning 16. I go to warhammer twitter and see a meme poster I enjoy is almost#three times my age.#like how do you get a person to somehow feel too old to be in a one fandom yet too young to be in the another?#i know this sounds stupid but it happens every time i like something#world of warcraft has people who have been playing this game for as long as i have been alive#despite aging with the game minecraft is primarily youngsters#team fortress 2 is somehow both too young and too old a fanbase#i've long since reconciled with the fact pretty much everything i like is over a decade old but why cant i just like something with a ->#similar age base? like it would be nice to interact with people that like similar things i like on a consistent basis.#I don't want to buzz around my 2 friends ears trying to not talk too much about my interests. Don't get me wrong I love those two gits but-#its not like i can complain about those childish gits who kept blocking the good fishing nodes in world of warcraft#I cant share my homestuck art and make references to characters that they don't know#I like making references! references make up roughly 1/3rd my jokes! Heck they make up my zogging dialogue too!#HECK I SAY ZOG AND GIT BECAUSE I AM A BLOODY STUPID MIMIC! I'M NOT EVEN BRITISH I LIVE IN MASSACHUSETTS!#YET EVERY TIME I GET A NEW “main interest” OR WHATEVER I END UP TAKING IN ZOGGIN SPEECH PATTERNS FROM THE DANG THINGS!#I ONCE MUTTERED “merde” WHEN THINGS WENT WRONG FOR LIKE OVER A YEAR BECAUSE SPY SAID IT AND ONLY STOPPED WHEN MY BILINGUAL AND FRENCH TAKIN#FATHER AND BROTHER RESPECTIVELY TOLD ME IT MEANT SHIT#I SAY “SLAPS ME ON THE KNEE” AND “SUCKS ON ICE” BECAUSE OF A MAIN INTEREST!#MY POSTURE GOT BETTER SOLELY BECAUSE I DID NOTHING BUT LEVEL A ZANDALARI HUNTER UNTIL LEVEL 120.#WHEN LAUGHING A MODERATE AMOUNT I DO THE /LOL ORC EMOTE. WHEN CHUCKLING I PUT MY HAND ON MY MOUTH LIKE SHIVER FROM SPLATOON BLOODY 3!!!#I HAVE BEEN UNINTENTIONALLY MIMICKING THINGS I LIKE FOR YEARS! I BOB MY HEAD AND WALK DIGITIGRADE BECAUSE I HEARD BIRDS/DINOSAURS DO IT TO-#BALANCE WHEN WALKING. AND THE ONLY REASON I SUCKED AT RUNNING WAS BECAUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I WATCHED A SCENE OF ICE AGE WHERE SID WAS WAL#ING AND MIMICKED HOW HE WALKED FOOT -> FOOT INSTEAD OF HEEL -> TOE HEEL -> TOE#AND NOW I GUESS I'M JUST WAITING FOR WHAT ILL GET FROM HOMESTUCK HUH#ugh if you can't tell this is a midnight brainrot post. i may be awake and on my computer but this still has the energy of that kind of pos#saturday warhammer and the following wendys browsing for ya folks.#midnight brainrot#Man i needed to get those off my chest#not like anyone reads these midnight brainrot posts anyways#oh yeah gotta tag art and paint.net so i can easily find these drawings later if i need them
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Something something, the VERY obvious nature of knowing exactly what insecurity a fictive is going to adopt, and sure enough its EXACTLY the thing you thought it would be. And it expresses in the same way
#why are they like this. im they#its like “oh i bet Hilda has an issue with fitting in and connecting to animals more than people. not like that's something#the system as a whole has experienced consistently in this life and has related to her off the bat for that shi“#“haha i bet Lucifer has depression and he hates himself too! hes so me” no. im me#he.#and I hate MYself. you dont GET jt. just kidding you definitely do. it sucks dont it#i bet other luci fictives feel this way too (cuts to them having the BEST time)#system babbles#vent#lucifer morningstar#i self loathe so much god damn LMAO. and im laughing and pointing finger guns rn but im in agony. like straight up#and i know its rebellious to love yourself its all we got and its the answer to everything love love love love love.#i CAN'T STOP. i just don't feel like i deaerve anything good and that whatever bad thing happens to me im like#“yeah that makes sense. i had that comin. I definitely walked onto the timeline that that happened so i cant even get mad or upset or feel-#like i deserve any justice or relief or comfort. yeah i definitely deserve to suffer even if it literally wasnt my fault or something i did“
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#russ ballard#tonight#1981#i was listening to the lyrics of this today and i can't stop laughing because#the imagined scenario it puts in my head#i imagine russ playing this in a club/bar or something#and from the stage he's looking at the audience#seeing these two random people and just instantly shipping them and imagining all of this himself#like the way some people will ship characters#and singing this song about them while they don't realize it#and his voice the way he's singing it is like#he's so#'THEY'RE GONNA MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!'#'THEY'RE GONNA GET IT ON'#on the edge of hsi seat if they so much as glance at each other#'SHE IS JUST A GLANCE AWAY COULD BE JUST A DANCE AWAY'#i just#i need this to be a music video for this please#even funnier if it never actually happens and he's getting so excited that 'THEY'RE GONNA MAKE IT'#when they do not even realize the other exists and don't care#in the lyrics they get together but in my mind's music video for it i want them to just be minding their own business#and have scenes where they ALMOST interact but don't and have him watching like “omg it's happening” and then it doesn't#and then the night is over and they go home their separate ways never crossing paths at all#despite russ on the sidelines screaming the whole time that they're gonna get together#JUST THE WAY HE SINGS THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME#i have a single tear streaming down my face from laughing i don;t know why i find this so funny
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The woman who is basically a second mom to my girlfriend doesn't think I'm real and it's absolutely fucking hysterical oh my god
#i have not stopped laughing about this shit all day#it's giving she goes to a different school you don't know her#although to be fair me and my girlfriend don't really take photos together and she hasn't met me so i get it#but holy fuck we've been dating for almost a year#like imagine pretending to date someone for that long#im gonna be meeting her next week though so at least she'll know my girlfriend didn't make me up#but tbh part of me would love to keep the bit going for as long as i can#but seriously i am excited to meet more people in my girlfriend's life#although i also understand why I haven't met her yet because 1 i get super nervous around new people and my girlfriend is very aware of that#and 2 she's the mom of my girlfriend's ex so uh yeah that's like 5 extra layers of awkwardness to deal with#shit is probably gonna be weird as fuck but from what ive heard she's very sweet#plus she did invited me on a ski trip that she was gonna completely pay for back in January so im sure everything will be fine#and we'll be at a concert so I can always just pretend like i can't hear anything because the music is too loud if things get too awkward#personal
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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I feel so clueless on how jokes work. I know what makes people laugh, and I can repeat what makes them laugh so I can be funny, but I still don't understand the joke itself. I know how to make people laugh but I don't understand WHY it elicits laughter
#I don't understand people. I don't understand how socializing works#It's like I'm pretending to be a person who understands social cues#I know how to impersonate allistics but I don't know why they are laughing#It's a fun house mirror but I don't see my own reflection#you know?#Even with other autistic people I just still. Don't understand so many jokes that circle the internet and in real life conversations#I wish I could understand why people enjoy something so deeply while laugh#I swear to god I'm autistic. but no one in the system understands it#like#I understand the ADHD is so strong in others they just don't understand the subtle autistic traits#Everytime I talk to anyone it just feels like a weird inside joke that I wasn't there for#except I WAS there#the things I do find funny... sometimes others laugh along but it still feels so separate on what others find entertaining#sounds are just too much. all the time#I can't think about how loud a sound is without just wanting to...#remove my brain or something#I think being autistic is so painful. Not to get really real but I'm#so tired of just not understanding anyone around me or getting so overwhelmed by the slightest thought of a interaction to anyone#and everyone I know#ah.#I could go on forever. I just need to watch season three so i stop fronting#txt#autism is so hard. guys.
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TMA Episode 89 is my new favorite episode. This guy is so funny. He just... he has no clue what is going on and I love him so much for it. Especially because he's trying to hard to know what's going on.
#i'm truly sitting here laughing so hard i'm sorry i adore this man. what a silly guy.#tma#the magnus archives#tma s3#i LOVE the “i have a god... right?” fdalskj#dante dicit#i can't stop thinking abt it i've already listened to it like 3 times i just...#i don't know why but it's SO funny to me bc all of his questions are just so??? like??? my dude?#“yeah yeah sure you can kill me fine” like girlie that's cool with a random mugger or something NOT WITH LIKE?? someone who can#literally just burn you alive like that...#ough. love him.
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There this piece of vent art I made in 6th grade that I can't stop looking over.
I don't fully understand
I can't help but be overly critical and have all these questions
Why is one side pink and the other blue?.. I know it was to make the purple heart, but what does that mean?. Why is the purple stuff all over me. I don't get that.
Is the blue a transgender thing because that wouldn't make any sense. I didn't even know transgender people were a thing.
Why didn't I color in 2 of the bows in my hair?
Why did I decide to not draw mouths? Or maybe I did on the older me, but then why is it half erased? Just get rid of the whole thing.
Missed a spot.
Tears don't work like this. Why isn't on your eye?
I just wanna know.
#cheeseburgerboy#i can tell something is wrong with me right now because i can't stop laughing and making noises.#i have a big headache#i feel sick when i open tumblr which is why i was supposed to delete it#so sick#i feel like my voice wants to come out but nothing is here.#i just don't feel good#i don't want to do this#because i know i can't handle it.#i don't want to deal with it#i want to give up#i don't like doing this#i think that i do. but if it doesn't go well i feel like a failure#i feel that way too much lately#why can't i do right#i have needs and i don't do anything about them#i love milk
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#tag talk#as much as I hate to see the social cinema grow as I get new followers. we're at a good and satisfying number. and I like that#also also also. I've introduced a friend to Hannibal (tv show) and he's loving it and I'm so happy cause none of#of my other friends have been able to stomach the body horror. so it's super cool to find someone to hype over it with#another random story that I genuinely can't remember if I said already. got told by a kid in minecraft that he's smiled a lot more around me#which. huge compliment. genuine honor to make people happy and smile and laugh#people don't laugh enough. we don't smile enough. be happy or die. and I'm too powerful to die. been there. haven't done that#cry and then laugh and then punch as hard as you can.#got to visit some of my favorite residents from the nursing home I first worked at. lotta new staff but my three favorite nurses are still#which is nice. I cried when I left that job because even though it crushed my soul I loved my coworkers and most of my residents.#I get why some healthcare workers grind themselves to the bone for the job. you're making such a huge difference in people's lives.#I tried but didn't have the fortitude for it. but it's nice to be able to go back and say hi to the friends I made and see how things are.#anyway. sorry for being weird like.. one or two weeks ago. I think things are settling out again. moving is rough but we're making it work#It's been a lot of Lear again lately. especially while being at my parents house. he doesn't mind being deadnamed as much sooo....#idk. at least one of us is capable of surviving the dmv and the state medicaid website. heaven knows I can't manage.#trying to stop using him as a crutch for getting things done has just resulted in us not being able to get things done.#but I don't want to be someone else I want to be me. I don't want to be the armor I want to be the human inside.#I don't want to live defensively. pushing everyone away. I can't do that.#anyway. we're back home! and work is on the horizon. hopefully this job works out cause I don't want to have to apply for new jobs.#the hr rep is a man at this store and I immediately got set on edge and our voice dropped as I stepped back.#then we introduced ourselves with the wrong name and he got confused and I just felt stupid about it#but how am I supposed to know which name he's been told. he didn't even use our paperwork name. Anyway that was a disaster#but we're on track and embarrassment is not a setback but a feeling about the way things progress. and it is progress we're making
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I like you guys- *gives y’all my muses as kirby*
( link. )
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I refuse to provide context for this image.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic's fuccing ded#I can't stop laughing at this image and I don't know why#probably because this is an actual image from a real sonic game#whoops I provided context#oh well!
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#i have this friend who's like really into s*uth p*rk#and she's the ''too depressed to care about politics type''#and like i've been there i get that#and it sucks so much i have no idea how to help her out of that#she keeps making those weird ''jokes'' and i try to be firm and tell her they're not funny and why and to please stop making them#but she keeps saying the same things!#and i mean even if i had the power to i don't think it'd be useful to just stop her from talking abt s*uth p*rk completely#like i think it's mostly a mindset about caring#the whole ''s*uth p*rk says caring about things is cringe'' thing#and you can't really care when you're hurting and empty inside and tired of everything#so i think you gotta fix other stuff before then#and i can't fix it for her obviously#but man i wish she would understand!!#why it's not funny to say the name of a marginalized identity and laugh at it like it was a joke#and like. okay. i've been there. i get that it's the desperate call for help of someone who wants to be funny and connect with people#and i don't know how to offer her connection and all without validating the shit she spews sometimes#broadcasting my misery#vent
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I'm so lonely i'm so lonely i'm so fucking lonely
#thinking about death and i'm just. crying#sometimes I finally find the perfect way to describe all of my pain in a way that'll actually make sense to someone else#and I just cry. it hurts. it hurts#of course i'm not telling anyone. but imagine getting the chance to#i'm tired of feeling the same pains over and over again#it gets old. it gets old complaining about it. people get tired of hearing it#eventually you just have to stay silent. stay silent. unnoticeable. keep your head down. never smile. never express yourself#but that ruins everything too#why can't I do anything right#what does everyone else seem to get that I don't#I shouldn't even be so afraid in the first place. it's the fact my head's not normal#everything will always break because I can't be normal#I try so hard to break the cycle or stop myself from doing what ruined everything before and it doesn't work. it doesn't work!#I just ruin everything still! nobody wants or loves you enough to deal with you! nobody can stand you!#even if they did you just wear them down until they can't anymore#nobody cares about you nobody cares if you're hurting nobody cares about your happiness nobody cares if you end up dead#everyone can see what you really are#they would laugh if they saw you die#they want you to die. just give them what they want. this is the best for everyone. things aren't better because you haven't done it#I have dreams of people I know murdering me raping me telling me to kill myself walking on my corpse#I feel like an object. a bug. am I even real? what am i? why do I exist? why is this happening? why does my head hurt?#god doesn't like who I am either#just swallow them down. swallow them down and nothing will be wrong
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