#I don't know what has gotten into me

[canisalbus]

hey there! sorry to bother again, but I was in a animating mood, so I ended doing a short animation of Machete for practice. It's kinda messy since I havent done that for a while, but hope you like it!

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[eveningrainstorm]

not what they used to be

[mosspapi]

To this day I am Plagued by this one fucking furby website I saw when I was like. 5. I saw it on my parents PC in the basement in like 2008 or some shit and it had like... one minigame or activity or smth on it and a decently large collection of images of furbies, and it was absolutely captivating to my tiny little brain. I vividly remember there was one picture of a Santa furby pulling a sleigh team of 8 reindeer furbies across someone's basement floor. I printed that fucker out I thought it was so cool. I never found the website again after that first visit and have yet to find any archives of a similar site or even just similar images. I want to say it had a light blue background and maybe like a map or something on it but idk. I don't remember what the game/activity was either. All I remember was the site existing and scrolling thru at least a couple dozen images and that one specific Santa furby picture . It haunts me. Where did they go. Does anyone still have them. What fucking site even was it. Bcuz I don't think it was the official site.

EDITING TO ADD! The exact site was found/shared by furby-junkie :D

[residentialsinyomakai]

Hello hello!!! Guess what. Yokai art dump below the cut!! So cool and shiny wow

Its true, I do >u<

I'll try and section these and give the usual explanations below! Image ID for more drawing specific inksplanation.

Click for full image! Since a lotta these are weirdly shaped they were cut off....augh...

McKraken and Maddiman related doodlesssss they're some of my faves <3 i will always love them even if they're not my focus characters atm (well. McKraken kinda is rn but also Babblong so YAY)

Misc. Yokai and ocs! The frog is Kerosque, the guy w the swirly pompadour thing is Swiss, and the monkey is Romono (although he's a Regretevator OC from FOREVER ago, he's still my son <33)

SWISS STUFF RAUGHHHH ! inconsistent style will be APPARENT here try not to notice shuhhhhhgh

Height for main yokai in my AU/on Casp's team! (In the anime it's just primary summons then wwwww)

Some yokai practice/design hcs bc my friend asked!! I was so happy to share 🤭 LOVE YOU CHERCHERRRR

Some of my little guys once more! Rawry' prob one of my faves yokai to draw, easy and fun to do show-accurate or stylized.

OCSSSSSS. AND BADDINYAN. MY EVIL CAT <3333 the guy next to the frog in the middle is an oc idea but idk for what yet =▽=

AUGH. THERES AN IMAGE LIMIT? Well in case you're wondering it's 30....post the rest after I get tomorrow's doodles. See you then and thank you for looking at and reading about my arts!

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[abyssalhuntersnerd]

It's that time of the year again where I put the fish and Amiya in the washing machine...

[discododging]

So, I was rewatching clips of a Church on Ruby Road, and I got to one of the ending, specifically: the clip where it's revealed Mrs Flood can see the camera and goes "Never seen a Tardis before?"

But I realized something. And I don't know if I'm just immensely late on this but I've literally seen no one else talk about it, but check this out

She's looking into the camera. She's looking directly at it while Abdul has a crisis about it disappearing. SHE LITERALLY MOVES CLOSER TO HIM TO GET A BETTER LOOK AT THE CAMERA.

What the fuck.

[blujayonthewing]

pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"

[s-nebul0sa]

Puntastic Groceries

Full fic on AO3

Lena has had a long, rough week. Monday started with an emergency investor meeting because there was an issue with the numbers. She was grilled by them – especially the ones she usually adores most for their critical thinking that she now experienced the other side of – for hours. After struggling to wrap her head around what happened with the numbers, because they were fine when she had last seen them before they were sent out, it finally clicked. Somewhere, someone, made a typo and it messed up the entire file.

Crisis averted, mostly, but she had to take the brunt of it because of course nobody was happy something like this happened. So the rest of the day and Tuesday morning she had to spend finding out when exactly this mistake snuck in and who was responsible. 

She never likes having difficult conversations about work performance and mistakes with people. As someone raised in a household where mistakes were forbidden and immediately penalised, she wants to create an environment at L-Corp in which it is okay to make mistakes and to learn. But a mistake like this is not one that can come without consequences. Even if the consequence is just being told to be more careful next time. The repercussions are to big to let it go without any at all.

If this happens a second time, she might even have to be more strict and tie real consequences to the mistake, and she would hate to have to do that. So it is better to just have the conversation now and prevent it from happening again in the future. 

On Wednesday, she had to have the difficult conversation in question. Later, during lunch, she spilled her salad dressing on her blouse and nearly tripped at the top of the stairs, ungracefully saved herself and breaking an expensive heel in the process.

Thursday she finally had a chance to catch up on some of the work that she fell behind on by cleaning up the mess created on Monday. But it was so much and with several important deadlines in the future, she had to stay late at work for the fourth time in as many days. And even when making the most of her time, cancelling less important meetings or asking someone to sit in for her, skipping lunch break and eating a meal while bent over a stack of papers, she did not know if she was going to even make the first deadline of Friday at noon. Let alone all of the ones after.

So, Lena stayed until well past midnight. Until Kara forcefully brought her home, wrestled her into sleep clothes and nearly had to push her into bed. At the crack of dawn, Lena was back at work already. She did make the deadline. But only by a minute, and she hates irking that close to the line. To top it off, there was no relief or satisfaction in sending out these document because more work was waiting for her and it only grew more with each passing minute. 

If Jess, Sam, everyone else at work and Kara had not sternly given her a talking to about spending the weekend away from work and not working from home in secret, she would have been at L-Corp hours ago. But since she is banned from working – Jess even confiscated her laptop and changed the password to her work email, the sneaky imp – she might as well enjoy her weekend.

This Saturday morning, she wants nothing more than just stay in, lounge around in her pyjamas and do as little as possible. If she could, she would do a negative amount of things.

Kara, however, has a different idea. Long before Lena is ready to get up, Kara opens the curtains and turns to Lena with the brightest smile on her face. And any other day, Lena would love that smile but today she groans because this smile also means Kara wants them to do something. Wants to go out together.

Lena curls up tighter, pulling the covers over her with a fierce grip and ducking her head into the blanket burrito she just made herself.

Read the rest on AO3 because this story is too powerful for tumblr (aka too long at 2909 words)

[canisalbus]

About the accents: if someone has a very "proper" Italian they are either foreigners or politicians/dignitaries/etc. So that fits perfectly for Machete, but I think it would be so funny if he sometimes slipped up and used a Nepalese word bc he forgot one in "proper" Italian lol

(Funny to me cause Naples has its own language in addition to accent, and most people don't actually know those words)

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[aquanutart]

I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!

The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!

The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!

The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!

And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!

I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!

Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well. did you fucking miss me.

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

How can I bribe you into helping me get a job in the industry, other than promising my undying love, which you already have <3

The industry is horrible and awful, low pay, long hours, no real chance of advancing.

Whenever people touring the station or new interns ask me for advice, I always tell them to change careers lol

[xcziel]

has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?

[sciderman]

Why so pessimistic about Deadpool 3? We didnt even get the trailer so we really don't know how they will do Deadpool in mcu. We gotta have hope!

we're not getting hope! we're not even going to have cable!

[greenishness]

You can’t force people to be honest with you. If you’re an up-front person who doesn’t have a problem asking for what you need, it can be easy to interpret wishy-washiness as cowardly and manipulative. It obviously sucks to be in emotional limbo, and I don’t blame you for interpreting their silence as a punishment. But have you considered it might also be a form of self-protection?

“Why won’t X tell me what’s wrong? I’m not a mind reader!” is a common complaint. But the question which often occurs to me is, who does that clarity benefit? Does the teller have reasonable grounds to believe expressing their anger is a safe or productive thing to do? Is it going to lead to deeper understanding, or just another argument? Is the person demanding an explanation going to listen, or use the teller’s complaint to retaliate, linguistically outmanoeuvre them, or adopt a position of victimhood? Often a request for clarity is disingenuous. We know what we’ve done and just don’t want to have to be the one to bring it up, because we feel guilty, and it’s easier to take a defensive posture than proactively apologise.

Not to mention that when we’re upset, the last thing we want is to give the person who offended us an opportunity to relitigate the situation. Especially if there’s wounded pride involved. It can be humiliating to confess the depth of your hurt feelings. That kind of honesty is an act of generosity, not emotional obligation. 

Help Me Hera: Our Couple BFF's Won't Forgive Us