#which would be quite a twist
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canisalbus · 10 months ago
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About the accents: if someone has a very "proper" Italian they are either foreigners or politicians/dignitaries/etc. So that fits perfectly for Machete, but I think it would be so funny if he sometimes slipped up and used a Nepalese word bc he forgot one in "proper" Italian lol
(Funny to me cause Naples has its own language in addition to accent, and most people don't actually know those words)
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afterphantoms · 11 months ago
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maybe its just me and my love of all things gothic, but i've been really surprised by the classification of saltburn as a (poorly executed) 'eat the rich' satire. i would've said it was primarily gothic fiction and that the class commentary was more a backdrop to that than the major thesis of the film, so it's interesting that a lot of people seemed to interpret it mostly or entirely through the lens of class satire. i'll be interested to see if the interpretation/reaction to the movie changes at all between the theatrical release and the digital one in a couple weeks; my perception is that a not insignificant number of people went into saltburn expecting something like parasite and were justifiably disappointed. not me though i'm a sucker for a fucked up gothic romance
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rawliverandgoronspice · 10 months ago
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Alright I think I’ve sent a ask in before and you answered it, I’m not sure if I’m just repeating myself but if I am feel free to ignore!
Alright I wanted to talk about changes in the gerudo culture, now naturally culture norms will change and fade as time goes on. But with the gerudo I can’t help but feel that they were forced to change much of their culture just to appease the other races.
Like why did they stop training Molduga? Why did they change their style to be more feminine etc.
Personally I feel like they were forced to change their culture so they wouldn’t get attacked. Why? Well example the sheikah, the sheikah are a tribe very close to the royal family. They will take out anyone who is a threat to the royal family, correct? Well who used to actively oppose the royal family, the gerudo.
I believe the sheikah still have a prejudiced against the gerudo because, you cannot find a single gerudo in kakariko village. You can find gerudo npcs outside the village thought, on the dangerous rode. Wouldn’t it be easier and safer for them to just cut through kakariko village? Unless there was still bad blood
I’m sorry to bother with my my insane ramblings I just wanted to share and I felt this place appropriate to share my thoughts.
Thank you for reading and thank you and have a nice night/morning/afternoon
Hey, thanks for the ask!
I mean, regardless of what actually did happen in canon, if anything did, I have to say that BotW, and then TotK's internal narrative regarding the gerudos feels rather worrying to me --for several reasons, some of which you do mention here.
The gerudos, by virtue of having the strongest culture that differs from hylians, is the one that is also the most dynamic in these games' shared reality (so TotK's mythical past, BotW, and then TotK modern era), the one that is the most malleable and ongoing internal change.
The first time we see the gerudos, historically, they have a certain political structure that seems to rely on kinghood, have certain skills related to war (the molduga situation), and even have fashion sensitivities that are relatively different to modern era's gerudos (the mohawk, etc, and I Will Not mention the ear situation for the inconsistent mess that it is). Then, the whole shenanigans with Rauru happen, we see the Sage of Lightning having a fashion sense that feels closer to what we know, and we get to see active collaboration happening.
Fast-forward hundreds-to-thousands of years later: not only are gerudos vassal to Hyrule pre-Calamity, but, while their town is still closed behind walls, the gerudos have a strong cultural focus on seeking (mostly) hylian husbands. We get to hear about the younger generations pushing against the strong rules keeping the city closed, and that the walls aren't as closed as they used to be.
In TotK, not only is the actual language evolving (so even if old hylian seems to have been a thing, the speed of language evolving is to be noted imo), but we see clear examples of the ancestral rules being challenged to the point of near annihilation. By the time we leave the gerudos behind, two hylian men have snuck inside the walls/forced their presence upon them, and we have heard of at least another group who have been working for years to make them bend the rules for their sake. Zelda came around and influenced their war techniques, and even their ancient legends get recontextualized as involving hylian men with the Eight Heroin, or as monstrously evil and something to seek forgiveness for in the case of Ganondorf. Subtextually, I'd argue we are assisting to a culture being assimilated in real time. It might be portrayed as a good thing, as old, useless or even arguably bigoted traditions being cast aside, but I still have to insist that while gerudos are yielding their cultural identity under (mostly) hylian pressures, hylians spend the *entire game* rediscovering and reinforcing their own culture and pushing forward a cultural heritage that is thousand of years old --even reinjecting lost elements of its roots into its prosperous future.
And, yeah. It's kind of worth noting at least.
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neige-leblanche · 7 months ago
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also y'all
does anybody have the original japanese of this line from book 5 ch 27???
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bc rereading it i was like. O_O. is he. not talking about vil.
i was thinking like "the first read through you're definitely meant to think so, and vil did absolutely change rook's life, but with context from both book 6 and his halloween vignette, what he's describing here leans more towards the latter" which is like. masterful gaybait i can't even be mad. it's like that post saying "some gaybaiting is like a box propped up with a stick and a block of cheese underneath" except this has all the intricacy of a steampunk clock.
but my VERY shoddy japanese skills r telling me the line translates more to "beauty in your eyes and the darkness, lighting up your entire life for you—in a time in your existence when you'll be able to have [such an experience] (expanding on the prev line where he says they'll be able to understand his ideology in the future)"
^ and i probably mangled this so bad but the main point is i didn't hear him refer to a "someone" like he does in the english tl & i'm wondering if i missed it or if it was in fact added!!!
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st-peculiar · 2 months ago
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I uh. Finished the first chapter draft for Ouroboros. Little sneak peaks below the cut I suppose.
“Deep down, you know that something has changed. You can’t quite put your finger on it yet.
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That’s what it is. You’re alive.
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Death does not always mean an end. It is simply a pit stop on a very long highway. You still have many miles to travel.
It is best if you get back in your car and begin to drive again.
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How long can you take it? The way you have a mouth but no voice to speak through.
Can you take it?
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You realize you are being rebuilt. It is uncomfortable and itchy knowledge. You feel it in the prickling numbness at the tips of your fingers, the eternal ache in your temples, and most of all, you fear.
Your aches and pains are all fear.
You are no longer human.”
#the ouroboros cycle#oh god. here we go#I like this sequence a lot for a few reasons#it’s just ambiguous enough that there’s some wiggle room for interpretation#lines can be twisted in one way by one person or another by a different one#I like when writing does that quite a bit#definitely gonna be editing this but here’s something out of the rough draft as a treat#since a lot of the plot is set out already in my other post I’m just gonna have to figure out how I want to shape the narrative effectively#kepler is a very layered character to me and he’s even more compelling because we still don’t know anything important about his past#which leaves the community to whip up whatever interpretation makes sense to us on a personal level#we’re given so much to work with for Kepler yet so little at once#we know his surface level traits and flaws already but we don’t know HOW he got to that point#ugh warren kepler#throwing bricks at him#probably should’ve asked this earlier in the tags but would you folk prefer fic updates on here or ao3#or both#oh and before I forget#a lot of the story revolves around some pretty deep mental health struggles for a while#such as a disorder similar to dehumanization (not fully classifying it as such because there are some nuances that stray away from ->#some of the typical aspects of dehumanization disorder)#that’s one of the big ones but there will be others#which I’ll make note of before any content that contains anything of the sort (along with other tags that are featured)#I think that’s all for now#wolf 359#w359#warren kepler#daniel jacobi#isabel lovelace#renee minkowski#kepcobi
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dairyfreenugget · 7 months ago
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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pikkish · 2 months ago
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idk if this is a good prompt but put doomguy in myhouse.wad I think he would find it enriching
Right, so I've been mulling on this one for a little bit now, n I'm not opposed to writing something for you, I'm just not... entirely sure what to write? Because the thing is, myhouse.wad doesn't actually really have anything to do with Doom as a story. Sure, Doom is important in that it's the vessel through which the story is told and one of the connections between the narrator and his dead companion. But as far as Doom itself goes, and the story about a man who was too angry/stupid to die, fighting demons and saving earth, none of that is at all relevant to myhouse.wad and its story. For all intents and purposes, Doomguy isn't actually a character in myhouse.wad. So I'm not really sure how exactly to fit him in there.
#pikspeak#bc like. ok so if u say write dg as if he is actually the character in myhouse.wad#then the problem is that theres a pretty huge meta element to myhouse.wad and having some of the outside context- even just the context tha#its supposed to be the creator's dead friend's childhood home- is important. youre not MEANT to 'immerse' yourself in it or pretend you are#the protag. part of the impact comes from knowing youre just an observer and this is just a videogame on your computer.#writing dg as a character inside myhouse.wad would rob it of a lot of context and therefore impactfulness. hed just be walking around an#old house looking at things that have no meaning to him.#so ok then not dg as the protag of myhouse.wad but what about just like.. him in the funky liminal space of myhouse.wad? the non-euclidean#reality breaking shifting house of leaves place of myhouse.wad? i *could* do something like that if thats what youre looking for#but then considering this is the character whose reaction to finding himself in literal hell was to go 'hey??? this is stupid???? anyway im#gonna kill everything here' he probably wouldnt be too exceptionally ruffled by finding himself in a sorta funky reality breaking space.#hed probably still just go 'oh weird. funky. anyway back to killing demons.' and that would be it. which yeah i CAN write if its what u wan#it just. yknow. doesnt quite seem like the right tone? just kinda flat by comparison#i have considered doing things in the right tone before. since it is also canon that on his way back to hell dg has to run through the#burned out ruins of his own hometown. something similar to the visiting an old place thats been twisted by time and grief and coming to#terms with its loss or something to that effect#but. if im being honest i dont know that i have the writing skill to pull that off well much less as a short fic for a prompt response#uhhh anyway where was i going with this.#im happy to write something for you; possibly even something myhouse.wad related if you want!! im just not sure how to do that hdfbhdj...#anyway sorry for letting this one sit for so long without an answer. have another fic prompt where the fic is getting a little longer than#anticipated n combining that with rotating this to try n figure out what i could write for it...#guess time got away from me a little bit. sorry about that!
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halfyearsqueen · 10 months ago
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need people to understand that criston cole was by her side most every day of her life since she was seven years old and that the nature of their relationship was questioned publicly by alicent when she was twelve years old. their relationship wasn’t ? she was kind to him, yes. and they likely did have a courtly love thing going on - but any serious feeling she had for him beyond the crush of a child fawning over a handsome knight dies at some point, ( likely after alicent called into question the nature of their dynamic ) because then she’s forced to confront the reality any thing between them is going to venture straight into scandal territory. she knows the story of lucamore the lusty, she knows that she would be damning him to a life upon the wall at best . so she moves on.
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arcturianview · 4 months ago
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Just finished SoJ.... man I miss when Ace Attorney was good.
#its just like... man. this case was almost extremely enjoyable. the case logic was good the mystery was satisfying#there was even the dhurke twist that swept the rug out from under me in quite an enjoyable way#i managed to figure out all the other twists heading into the final case but we'll be generous and call it good forshadowing#but i just feel like so many of these narrative beats feel hollow bc nahyuta is so thoroughly unlikable and his switch feels unearned to me#and then dont get me started on the crappy mocap. it undercuts several moments that should be dramatic or emotional#and man just imagine if we had known any of this about apollo before. how much less stapled on it would feel?#and then the whole theme they point to at the end about students and mentors could have been compelling... but imagine how much more#compelling it would have been if phoenix and apollo werent jockeying for screen time for the past three games and instead apollo actually#got to have something. but no...#but i have to say the thing that really left a sour taste in my mouth was the conversation between Phoenix and Thalassa at the end#if there was EVER a game where Trucy and Apollo's familial ties should have been revealed. it should have been this one.#this game has a whole case that deals again with the Gramarye legacy in a way that feels like its teeing this convo up#not to mention all the stuff about Apollo's family and history it dives into.#this SHOULD have been the game they told them.#but no. instead we get a vauge conversation at the end just to remind the player that no! the developers haven't forgotten!#they arent just ignoring the fact! they're shoving it in our faces and telling us to remember that they're ignoring it#it just left the game on a really poor note for me#especially because i would hope the the writing out of Apollo leaves space for Athena to shine#but if they want to resolve the siblings plot which they are very pointedly reminding us of.. that requires bringing Apollo back#and i would think warrants at least the length of a case to deal with the emotional repercussions#but whatever#man i hope dgs is as good as people say it is cause right now im just pissed at this game.#ace attorney critical#spirit of justice critical
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adreamingrevenant · 6 months ago
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Unenlightened: The Knight of the Dawn and Princess Leia were both perfect analogues for both Aurora's parents and the Aurora and Prince Philip from the 1959 Sleeping Beauty movie relationship wise.
Enlightened: The Knight of Dawn and Princess Leia had a relationship superficially like the stereotypical fairy tale couple, but actually married/make it seem like their relationship was romantic out of convenience and to spite Henrik so Leah could secure her right to the throne and eventually fell in love along the way/did still have Silver and loved him but didn't love one another like that.
Ascended: The Knight of the Dawn and Princess Leia were in a fake relationship but one was either Ace/also batted for their own team and fake dated mostly so Leah could get suitors off her back, on occasion they were one another's wingman/woman.
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland meme#kinda#twisted wonderland knight of the dawn#the knight of the dawn#twisted wonderland Princess Leia#I know it's highly unlikely#but I think it would be really funny in hindsight#and a fun twist to the usual fairy tale trope as twisted wonderland likes to do#with people being analogues and walking similar roads to their og counterparts but never quite aligning due to different circumstances#I personally think that since we didn't get much on Leia (which might actually be on purpose) that we can do a lot with her#and personally I think it would be interesting if her and Dawn were closer relationship wise to Lily Orlamunde and Duke Randolph#from the Holy Grail of Eris or Kaeyena and Raffaello from The Villainess is a Marionette#than the usual fairy tale couple. I mean she likely was the first in succession unlike Henrik for a reason#I mean the bar is down in the Underworld for that. But I like to think it's because she was more capable alongside being know for her beaut#might just be me#I have way too many thoughts on TKoD and Leia#I also think that maybe the reason Henrik knew he could get Dawn to fight by threathening Leia is less because she was vulnerable#but because since Henrik is a rank above Dawn he techinically could raise enough of a fuss to separate them#And that could put Leia in a VERY unfavorable position in the future alongside taking one of the few things TKoD truly has#Might just be the sleep deprived thoughts tho I dunno
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spamtoon · 6 months ago
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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crehador · 10 months ago
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winter 2024 first impressions: ishura
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and so we ring in the new year with some beautiful doomed yuri that lasts only until a weird guy appear
typical
i picked this one up for the cast (romi park my beloved please arrive soon) and it's off to an alright start imo. the fight sequences were pretty good, visually, but the soundtrack didn't blow me away—and i really wish it did. the ost wasn't bad or anything, but if it had stood out more to me, i feel like it would have elevated the action scenes as a whole
the premise is remarkably simple so far, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. i often like simple, but it means the series will swim or sink based on its characters (who were mostly only namedropped towards the end of the first episode, so time will tell if they compel me)
one element of the worldbuilding i did like is there are these big mech type 'golems' facing off against humans, some of whom can use magic. exceedingly standard stuff
but then!
you see one of the golems using the same magic humans wield, which was a nice little twist i quite enjoyed. not sure if anything will become of that detail, since it seems like the series is shaping up to be more of a pvp battle royale than a pve humans vs golems type story
(side note this feels like it would make a pretty sick video game)
the weakest part of the first ep, to me, was the pacing. it just felt rushed, but that's mostly understandable since this ep was clearly just set-up for the 'main' plot. i feel like it might have benefited from being an hour-long episode, or maybe all this backstory would have felt more impactful if we saw it later, with the 'main' plot starting in medias res and circling back to this later? idk it wasn't The Worst, i just feel it (the pacing) could have been Better
also content warning for anyone who might need it: there was at least one instance of extremely graphic violence in this first ep, which i anticipate might continue through the series, so heads up on that
tl;dr it's fine so far
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inbabylontheywept · 2 months ago
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
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venomgender · 1 month ago
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required reading .
#quite genuinely The Best dungeon genre nov i have ever read. it perfectly combines over used tropes with unique twists in a way thats#sp refreshing...#like. man. wow. wow!#this story Does Not go the wau you think it will go! in a good way!#AND its also a yaoi. and i really enjoy how the romance between the two is written as well....#i just finished part one (the first like 140 chapters) and any tangible bits of romance didnt start until like. ch100#which i enjoy.... because it wouldnt make sense otherwise#its truly like 'story that happens to feature gay men' which is awesomeeeww#i found it because the fiest six (6) chapters of the manhwa were put on bato#and i was like ohhhh this seems fun ^_^ and now like 3 days later i want to explode (positive)#goddddd like its jist so good. even ignoring the entire plot the authors writing is just so amazing... lot everythibg ive ever wanted#was telling my friends this but they write scenes in ways i write scenes#which is to say the way i wish everyone wrote scenes#ahhhhhh its just sososo good....#things barely introduced in ch1 and basically forgotten becoming plot relavent 140 chapters later is always like a hit or miss#in execution#but the way this incorporates the stuff like this is done so well...#like truly this author is like a master in writing and weaving narratives there were so many times where i strongly reacted#to the information that was just revealed because it made me connect the dots to things said a million uears ago that i forgot about#only for the mc to havw the exaxt same reaction#and there were so many times where a like emotionallh hardowing scene woulf happen and i would have the exact same response as the mc#even if i hadnt even read his response yet#man..... man....#its just. so good#yaoi posting
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therealsirsticker · 3 months ago
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you ever get struck by a random innocuous childhood memory and think. Man. I should have realized there was something wrong with me a loooooooong time ago
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fingertipsmp3 · 4 months ago
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Another thing that’s happening is my ankle decided to grow a bone spur. So that’s fun
#i imagine this has been in the process for quite a while but i only noticed it wednesday night when i was sat in my pants waiting for benji#to finish doing his business so we could go back inside#i’ve been having pains in both of my ankles especially when i run basically. which.. i started running in december#so i imagine this has been in the works for that long#i think it’s only come up on my left ankle thus far because i have arthritis in my right knee so i overcompensate for it using my left leg#i was reading through the ways to prevent this from getting worse and it’s all so undescriptive i have to cry#they’re like ‘get shoe insoles’ BUT WHAT KIIIIND#do i get heel cups? orthotics? arch support? like what’s the vibe here#they also said to stop running on hard surfaces and i was like 😭#i run on pavements exclusively because the only large grassy area near me is a sports field and it’s pretty much full of football boys#most of the time. also it’s REALLY uneven. the last time i tried running there i nearly twisted my ankle#i mean you will literally step in an entire hole without expecting it. and that makes my form way worse i feel like#the other option is i literally take a bus to the next town over to run at one of the parks or the beach but that’s.. that’s such a process#i’m trying to work out if a treadmill would be considered a hard surface#i feel like honestly a better pair of running trainers are probably the answer. i could wear my current trainers as an everyday shoe#since i don’t consider them to be like.. bad or anything. they’re sketcher’s arch fit so they do have Some arch support#i feel like honestly taking my slip-ons out of rotation for anything longer than a 5 min walk could help me out#since i genuinely spend WAY too much of my life wearing this 2 year old pair of canvas slip-ons from target that have zero support#of any kind. don’t they call heel spur a ‘pump bump’? well i found the pumps in question#personal
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