#I don't know if I'll have chapter 10 done in two weeks though

[amtrak12]

Wrote 1400 words this afternoon instead of working. This feels like the correct decision :)

[thewidowsledger]

The Call

Chapter 2: 10 Things I Hate About You | 3.9k

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Summary: You were supposed to take her out—the infamous Black Widow—Natasha Romanoff. The S.H.I.E.L.D. has been keeping an eye on her for a while now and for some reason, another high-ranking agent as you was sent to get the mission done. But then, he made a different call leading the mission to be here in front of you, soon to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Tags | Pairings: Ex-Russian Agent Natasha Romanoff x Senior S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, bad writing, slow burn, angst, cheating👀 cursing, mean r

Author's Note: Madisynn with two n's, one y but it's not where you think it is💅 I might not be able to update for a week or 2, I have a big recitation and debate coming up and I really need to study because I don't want to be an air bender. I'll still stop by and check in, xo.

Navigation | Masterlist | Series Masterlist

⧗

Three months had passed since Natasha Romanoff joined SHIELD, and everything was running smoothly. You had managed to maintain a professional distance, only interacting with her when necessary for work or missions.

Under your guidance, the tasks and missions had been executed without any significant issues. The agents under your wing were performing well, and the overall atmosphere in the unit was productive and efficient...but the unspeakable tension never left when the redhead is around.

“We should invite Y/N for lunch.” Yelena murmured to herself as she walked with Natasha with their packed lunch in the S.H.I.E.L.D. compound.

Much to her surprise, Natasha overheard what she just said and immediately responded. “No, we can't do that.”

Yelena's mind instantly seized on the opportunity. A sly grin formed on her face as she retorted, “You know what? You should invite her for lunch.”

She looked around, before whisper-shouting to Yelena, “Are you nuts?!”

“Come on, Nat. We talked about this, that we’re gonna invite her for lunch sometime.” Yelena said, her tone light and playful, “It's just lunch. What's the worst that could happen?”

“She'll probably glare at me the entire time and refuse to eat!” Natasha freaked out. Yelena had always told the redhead that they should invite you for lunch some time and she never expected that, that some time is right now.

“She hates me, Yelena. And everybody knows that.” Natasha continued, now muttering under her breath. “So no, sorry if I won't ask her to have lunch with us but If you wanna go and have lunch with her Yelena, that's fine with m—”

“You two gonna have lunch?”

Yelena and Natasha froze in surprise as they suddenly became aware of your presence.

The two agents looked back at where you came from and Yelena excitedly waved at you, her childish demeanor on full display—as always. She turned to Natasha, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

“Actually,” Yelena added, “Natasha here wanted to invite you to lunch,” coughing playfuly as she pat her partner's shoulder.

Your head tilted slightly to the side, “Oh really, Agent Romanoff?”

Natasha, her heart racing, had no choice but managed to stutter out a soft “Yes,” even though a while ago she was so against having to invite you for lunch.

“I might have to pass.”

Of course you will, she had already expected that response. She had expected your rejection. How could you say yes when you cannot even be in the same room with her around? Natasha thought—though you actually never let her out your office.

But deep down, she had harbored a small hope that you would somehow say…yes.

“Oh, that's fine with us.” Yelena said trying to break the tension that has been slowly and painfully building up, she gave Natasha a discreet nudge, signaling her to respond.

“Yeah, yeah all good,” Natasha eyed you with a faint smile, for the first time you were able to take a good look at her eyes. It was her first time too, actually. Finally having the courage to look at you straight in the eye as if she really wanted you to notice the trace of disappointment in them.

Trying to shake off the thoughts creeping in your head. You blinked as you turned to focus on Yelena, “Lena, can you go to my office after? Just about the team-building coming up.”

“Oh yeah sure,” the agent replied cheekily.

“I’ll see you, then. You two, enjoy your lunch.”

“Yeah...you too,” this time, it's Natasha who replied, looking down onto the lunch she had meticulously prepared for two.

⧗

“She hates me, Yelena. And everybody knows that.”

You did send her to a more difficult mission compared to any other agents under your wing. Yes, and you’re just being reasonable you thought, plus, you know those missions are just nothing to her. Do you make her come early to the office just to see her struggle with the tasks you give her in the past 2 months? Yes. And you’ll continue to do it? Of course you will.

Do you hate her?

No.

But you did hate it when one of your agents called her a ‘killer’ during one of your meetings. You immediately used your power of being the daughter of the director to have the agent transferred from a different unit, if only you could have him terminated out of S.H.I.E.L.D. but you refrained from taking such actions, you still have remorse and you still see the value that agent held in the agency.

Oh, you certainly also hated it when Madisynn told you that Natasha will go out to have lunch with other agents in different unit because they invited her. So you immediately asked Madisynn to call her before she could even step out of the building. She came in your office chasing her breath because she had to ran from all the way up to your office, you assigned her an enormous pile of paperwork, effectively preventing her from accepting any social engagements or from seeing some agents…or anyone she's supposed to be seeing and to ensure that she remained in your office with you for the entire day.

Did you hate it when you noticed an agent getting too comfortable with her during break time, leaning in close, even touching her biceps? Oh, you were mad. So you reprimanded Natasha even though she had no idea what she did wrong. The next day, when the same agent attempted to engage her in conversation and asked her for late-night drink, you were smugly satisfied to see Natasha politely decline the invitation without a second thought. Seeing the agent make a pouty face and even attempted to cling to Natasha again only for her to swiftly sidestep the touch. Though some part of you wished to see Natasha to completely ignore the agent but you knew Natasha is... too soft? To do that?

So...you're jealous of her?

No. But you don't like it when people get too close to her.

Well, do you hate her then?

No. But you hate it when she's too nice to the other agents, she was an assassin for fuck's sake—the Black Widow. She was supposed to be harsh, cold and intimidating. But all you see is a gentle woman radiating with warmth and kindness, effortlessly extending small gestures of courtesy. You hate it during meetings, when she habitually holds the door open for others, and you also hate it when she takes it upon herself to carry the heaviest boxes of files. You hate it when she asks her colleagues if they had lunch already, and oh god, you also hated how her lunch smells good all the time.

You hated how she was still able to do all these after you gave her excessive amounts of paperwork, almost putting her on a desk job. Despite the mountain of tasks you had thrown her way, you hated how she still managed to smile at you, taking everything you give her, accepting your toughness towards her. You hated these simple things she does.

This is not the reputation of an assassin—of the Black Widow. It feels like you just wasted everything you've done in this mission, her being your mission. This is not the one you’ve seen on the files you had, the ones you studied almost half of your life and you hated it, you hated how wrong those papers are.

How wrong you are.

“So what about the team-building?” Yelena asked, as she walked to your office not caring even a single knock

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, the blonde’s unexpected arrival catching you off guard. Your tried removing the things you have been questioning and answering at the same time in your mind.

Yelena chuckled as she observed your shocked reaction. “Y/N, relax,” she said between giggles.

You tried to regain your composure after getting startled by the agent's sudden entrance. “You finished your lunch that quick?” You coughed, pretending to look for some files down your desk cabinet.

You didn't miss how the agent chuckled and winked as she sat down in the chair opposite your desk. “You know how I eat, boss,” she remarked, “So, about the team-building event…”

You informed her about the upcoming team-building event, it is an annual gathering organized for the entire agency of S.H.I.E.L.D. and it will be coming a little early this year. An opportunity for various units to come together to have fun and at the same time bond with others.

“So is she going to be there again?”

The question made you stop from pretending that you were doing something, you were in a very awkward position right now, having to seat from your chair and crouching down to the lower cabinet on your desk. You slowly look up not at her but at your computer screen pretending once again, “Who?”

“You know damn well who I'm talking about.” she scoffed, the agent leaned forward to you snatching a paper and a pen from your desk.

“Yelena, it's been 2 years…” you sighed and chuckled, pretending to scroll on your computer when you were just drawing circles on the wallpaper. It was a picture of you, your mother and Fury in a car.

“You know how I hate that we get to have this team-building thing because that means I’m going to see that bitch.” She scribbled on the paper like a kid and flashed it in front of you where “Beware: Earthquake incoming,” is written on it.

You couldn't help but smile and shake your head at her dramatic flair but your insides are getting tense once again at the topic.

“Here, someone wants to give this to you.” She handed you a paper bag.

“Who?” You suspiciously inquired as you accepted the bag.

“If I tell you, you’re not gonna eat it.”

“Of course not, what if it has poison?” You carefully examine the bag and you are welcomed by the familiar scent of peanut butter and strawberries.

“You know what? Stop being mean and eat. You’re so skinny.”

“Hey, I'm still your senior, you might wanna watch that mouth,” you retorted, trying to maintain a sense of authority around the blonde and kinda... threatening her.

But Yelena ignored your words and continued to tease you, asking, “What do we do during an earthquake, Y/N?” With a coy smile, she sing-songed, “Duck, cover, and hold.” She winked at you before disappearing behind the doors of your office.

You sighed as soon as she was gone, you were blankly staring at the wrapped sandwiches and a strawberry yogurt inside the paperbag. You have no energy to eat not because you know who gave this food but about the topic that the blonde had brought up, it hit you hard enough to made you lose your appetite.

“I'll be okay,” you squeeze your eye shut and breathe clutching the paperbag on your lap.

⧗

“So we're really supposed to wear this?” Natasha questioned, referring to the pink shirt that was assigned as the color for your unit's team uniform for the team-building.

The agent, Madisynn, nodded in sassily, stating, “Uh huh, last year our color was orange. We looked like prisoners.”

Natasha let out a soft chuckle at the agent's witty remark. She surveyed the hall, taking in the various colors worn by other agents, unconsciously searching for the familiar shade of pink associated with her color hoping to see Yelena but she didn't see any sign of her but instead Natasha saw an agent wearing a blue coded shirt walking-running towards her direction.

He gave Natasha a forced smile but turned serious to the agent beside her, “Madi, duck, cover and hold.” The agent in a blue shirt whisper-shouted to her.

“Oh my goodness gracious I completely forgot about her.” She hastily collected her belongings, shoving her tumbler inside her tote bag.

“Hey, where are you going?” Natasha, noticing her teammate's distress, quickly questioned as if she's scared to be left alone she then also gathered her things. The agent in a blue shirt was already gone.

Before Madisynn had a chance to stand up, a figure blocked her path, “Hey Mad, where's Y/N?”

Madisynn's voice trembled as she replied, “H-hey Daisy.” She kept her head down, “I-uhh I don't know…” She held her bag tightly like a nervous teenage girl being confronted by a bully. Natasha, who was sitting beside Madisynn, rose to her feet, leveling Daisy.

Daisy shifted her gaze to Natasha, looking her up and down before finally speaking. “You must be…” she began, a sly smile on her face, “the infamous Black Widow, I’m Agent Johnson.” She extended a hand towards Natasha.

Natasha, unflinching, just stared back at her. Madisynn who is starting to feel the tension growing between the two, quickly grabbed Natasha's wrist, “Sorry Daize, we're gonna go now.” She apologetically replied leaving the agent who was looking for you behind.

“Who's that?” Natasha asked Madisynn as she was practically getting dragged by her.

“You heard her, she's Daisy. Agent Daisy Johnson…Quake.” Madisynn frustratingly scrambled.

“Why is she looking for Y/N?”

Madisynn was still panicking but she managed to inhale to focus herself, this will be a long history, “Hngkay, I don't think I am allowed to say this, but…” She paused, loosening her grip on Natasha's hand. Madisynn pushed Natasha towards the wall, enough to keep them hidden from the agents inside the hall. She breathe in and out, her hands and new made nails flexing in front of the redhead, “That's the boss's ex.”

Natasha repeated, sounding surprised, “Ex?”

Madisynn looked around before confirming, “Uh huh, ex. Ex-fiance, actually.”

“Please don't tell anyone I told you. Just pretend you don't know anything about it, hngkay?” She looked Natasha dead in the eyes, silently pleading—no by the looks of her she was kind of threatening her. Though keeping this secret doesn't really make sense since everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. knew the scandal that had happened between you and Daisy, except Natasha of course.

“Yes, I promise.” Natasha nodded slowly, she was still trying to grasp the information. It was a shocking one, almost too much for her, you were once engaged?

You were capable of loving?

Madisynn continued, “It happened two years ago, Daisy cheated on Y/N and Director Fury transferred her to Coulson’s division because of what she did. That's why we don't see Daisy much around here anymore.”

“So?” Natasha furrowing her brows, “What does she want with Y/N now?”

“Since her transfer, the only times she gets to see Y/N are during the team-building. Even outside or like public Daisy cannot seem to find Y/N, and of course boss wouldn't let her or the director,” Madisynn explained, “It’s very obvious you know? She kinda wants to hnggg…”

“Win her back?” Natasha continued for her.

“Ex-ectly.”

Madisynn received a series of heads up from several agents around them.

“Hey Mad, Coulson's team is already here. Did you see?”

“Where's Y/N, Madisynn?”

“Earthquake’s here.”

“Duck, cover and hold y’all.”

Madisynn just gave them a smile and thumbs up never failing to showcase her nails, still grateful for the heads up and concern for her boss. She looked at Natasha with a sigh, “We need to find boss or at least Yelena.”

“Say no more ‘cause I’m here to save the day.”

As if on cue, Yelena appeared in view, her arms spread wide. Upon seeing her, the two agents could no longer hold back their laughter, taking in the sight of Yelena's oversized pink shirt.

She looked at her shirt, “C’mon, boss got a big size so she asked me to switch up.”

“Hngkay, tuck that in.” Madisynn pointed to Yelena, the blonde was flinched on how long Madisynn's nails are. She came closer to Yelena, and Yelena raised her hands side by side for her to tuck in her shirt in.

“Where is she?” Natasha then asked—trying to sound casual.

Yelena gave her a teasing look over Madisynn's shoulder who's fixing her big girl pink shirt. “In her office, don't worry, we all know that the earthquake’s here.” She winked.

“And how are we supposed to deal with that?” Madisynn asked.

“As usual. Duck, cover, and hold.” Yelena tugged her side bag, “Nat, you already know about the earthquake?”

Madisynn chimed in, confessing, “Hngkay, I told her,” she looked over Natasha, “'Cuz she the only agent who doesn't know about it.” She replied sassily.

Yelena just simply shrugged her shoulders. “Let's go get boss.”

⧗

You had been in a relationship with Daisy Johnson for three years. And you can remember it clear as the day when you opened the door to your apartment and was greeted by a sea of scattered roses, and there was Daisy on one knee, popping the question. You didn't even let her finish the question as you raced to her, repeating the word “yes��� over and over again.

You’ve worked together for 5 years and you have always made a firm rule for yourself: never date a coworker and co-agent. You believed in keeping your professional and personal life separate, not mixing work with pleasure. But Daisy, ever insistent and persuasive, somehow wormed her way into your life, slowly melting your resolution. She even had your father, the usually reserved and cautious director, his approval.

The engagement continued for two more years, until you found her cheating on you. You found it in a very stupid way, really, she left her phone unattended during your movie nights. She's your fiance now and there is nothing wrong with checking your fiance’s phone, right? But you just happened to glance at the screen, no plans on checking it and then there you noticed a notification pop up. To your horror, it was a lewd photo of another girl. Your heart thudded in your chest as you instinctively scrolled back to the previous conversations, your hands trembling as it dawned to you, she was cheating on you. Thanks to you being a techy agent, you had access to information that most people didn't. With a few clicks, you discovered that Daisy's affair had been going on for a staggering seven months, right under your nose with someone whose name is Lincoln Campbell.

That night, you remember dialing your father's number with trembling hands. Your voice also trembled as you asked him to come and pick you up from Daisy's apartment. The silence on the other end told you he could sense something was wrong. As you stood outside the building, the cool night air did little to soothe the storm inside you.

You didn't tell him what happened yet, you don't even know how to. You don't know if it's the ego taking control but you don't want to be wrong, not in this—not with love.

Your whole life you don't want to be wrong, you hate being in a wrong stand, wrong point, being wrong in any ways. And now you hated how wrong you are thinking that this woman is going to be the person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. How wrong you are with the person you thought you're being right with, with the person you felt is the right one for you—for your soul and your heart.

But you were wrong the moment she wronged you.

As you headed towards your father's car, Daisy rushed to you and started pleading with you to stay. She followed you, banging on the car window and crying loudly in desperation. Your father, watching the situation getting out of hand, got out of the car to pacify Daisy. You watched through the car window, your heart heavy with turmoil as Daisy sobbed and pleaded, her pleas fading into the night as your father finally got her to let go.

“What happened?” Fury asks you as he drives the car, you were silently sobbing at the passenger seat and it's hurting him to see you like that. He looked at you scanning any bruises or physical marks, it made his stomach churn that the first thing he first thought was the idea of Daisy laying her hands on you.

“Talk to me, baby. Did she hurt you?”

“Only my heart,” you finally looked at him, your brows pinched together holding back your tears, “She cheated on me, papa.”

Daisy's disappearance from your work life was as sudden as the betrayal. No more flowers graced your desk and her presence was conspicuously absent from the office but you didn't bother to know. You live up on pretending that you didn't know that every agent in your division knows about what happened between the two of you. Your father transferred her to a different division, ensuring that you wouldn't have to cross paths with her ever again.

Not until this moment.

“Y/N?”

Daisy appeared at your office clutching a bouquet of flowers in her trembling hands. The sight of her caught you off guard, bringing back memories of happier times. Image of her in one knee, ring in her hand and the other picture was her reaction when you looked up at her with bloodshot eyes, holding her phone.

You studied her face for a moment—you don't know what to do—you were okay now—at least that's what you told yourself. You’ve finally moved on from her but the pain she caused? It's still somewhere deep in your heart and will only be felt by you if it was triggered and you don't want that to happen again.

As you stood fixing your pink shirt, Daisy attempted to start a conversation to call your attention.

“C-can I talk to you for a moment?” she stuttered. You turned to look at her as you tied your hair up, you tried to maintain it casual. “Sure, what is it?”

Daisy fidgeted nervously, clutching the bouquet in her hands, “I just wanted to apologize...for everything ‘cuz I never had a chance to do it. I gave you the space you need but I never got to see you again…”

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself, you're proud of how well you're handling this, but you cannot handle how the smell of the flowers making you sick to the stomach, “Daisy, it's all over now. Even before you apologize, I’m all over it. Your apology won't change what happened but it's okay, I am okay now and I hope you are too.”

She didn't expect this kind of reaction from you, she wanted you to be mad, angry, throw everything you see at your desk at her. Unveil the anger—the pain she had caused you after what she did.

Only if she knew what it took you to be this calm and forgiving.

“I miss us.” She bluntly admitted, “I miss you, Y/N. It was a stupid mista—”

You shook your head resolutely, maintaining your stance stopping her mid sentence as if you already know what’s going to come out of her mouth and you don't want to hear it.

“It wouldn't last for 7 months if it was a mistake, Daize,” you gave her a faint smile as you let the nickname fall off your lips. “Our ship has sailed. We can't go back.”

There is an unexpected knock on the door and it is an interruption you kind of needed right now. You glanced towards the door immediately calling out whoever it is, you're desperate for a save right now, “Come in.”

You actually expected that it was Yelena behind those doors but you were as stunned when Natasha entered the room, her eyes met Daisy who was glaring straight at her. Despite her cool exterior, there was a subtle tightening in her jaw as she registered the situation. Yelena made her come for you but what the blonde didn't know that the earthquake was in your office.

“The event’s about to start.”

Daisy bristled at Natasha's interruption, clearly annoyed by her presence. And she snapped, “We're still talking, can't you see that?”

“Daisy, I think it's over. You can leave now.”

Daisy looked like she wanted to argue further, but your resolute tone made it clear that the discussion was at an end. You don't want it to elevate to something else.

“Please, leave.” You added gently but firmly.

Daisy's eyes searched your face but she accepted the finality of your words. She placed the bouquet of flowers on your desk, her eyes lingering on them for a moment before looking up at you again. You just gave her a faint smile but to her, it's a hope.

As Daisy turned to leave, her gaze hardened as she shot a reproachful glare at Natasha. She had only seen Natasha two times but she couldn't help but feel threatened whenever the redhead’s around.

As soon as Daisy’s out of your office, you released a heavy breath as if you were holding them back the whole time that your you're with her.

“You can leave now too,” you told the redhead dismissively.

You were still composing yourself, breathing in and out when you noticed her stepping forward.

“Are y-you oka—”

“What?!” you snapped not letting her finish, you didn't even realize that she tried to show her concern by asking if you were okay. “I don't need your fucking pity, Agent Romanoff, so out,” you huffed, putting an emphasis on her formal title to show that there's a line between your work life and private life. You do know every crumbs of her but you don't want her to know a detail of you or your past.

But in a second as if the wind blew in a different direction, you suddenly mentally cursed yourself as Natasha immediately nodded and retreated from your office. You hated how you reacted towards her, she saved you and you’ll just push her away? You asked your cheating ex-fiance nicely to leave your office, but Natasha who saved you from her received a snappy attitude from you?

Your heart raced in your chest, you felt a mix of confusing emotions swirling within you and you want to throw it up. You couldn't understand why you were so worried about hurting Natasha when you had always thought you won't go easy on her and wanted to be tougher with her—you want to break her. But now, you are facing a barrage of emotions that is going against your plan.

You were so calm as you and your ex-fiance who cheated on you talked for the first time again but right now you're all pent up with the frustrations, but not about her but your confusing feelings...for her? No, definitely not her but maybe to that one person who saved you minutes ago from your ex-fiance.

You then grabbed the bouquet and hurled it away, screaming, “Fuck!”

The Call: Masterlist

[elwinsglasses]

shannon's editor essay please if i beg will you give it to me

Haha so sorry about that y'all I'm pretty sure I answered an ask or smth about that essay all the way back in March, and now it's uh *checks notes* August. Whoops. I dug back through my drafts and it turns out that the essay was pretty undeveloped lol, and part of the reason that I procrastinated so long was because I was too lazy to hunt down sources for some of the stuff. Also, at this point a lot of the stuff I was going to write about is (at least in my perspective) pretty common knowledge, so I didn't feel it was super important. Anyways though I'll probably never get around to getting it well organized so I'll just bullet point the general ideas. Also just in case this is all my theories/speculations and none of them have been proven.

So basically I had a kind of far-fetched theory about why the character development of Sophie/Fitz/Keefe in the later books but especially Unlocked/Stellarlune was Like That was because of Shannon's editor

Shannon had a baby I believe 2019/2021ish? and as expected her writing schedule was severely impacted bc obviously baby

And the result of that was that (for at least Stellarlune) her editor ended up drafting the general plot, and she would fill in the outlines (this was stated in I believe an instagram live or barnes and noble interview for Stellarlune. There was a post floating around her that summarized that event but for the life of the I can't find it)

Anyways if you're unfamiliar with Shannon's editor, she's a super pro Keefe/Sokeefer, and is the reason why Keefe is on a disproportionate amount of covers. That wouldn't necessarily be a big deal except I feel she's allowed it to color her view of the story, instead of focusing on what makes the most sense narratively speaking

Like my biggest issue as stated in my last post was how the narrative treats Keefe, esp at the beginning of Stellarlune

However, as a whole, I personally found the whole plot and character development of Stellarlune to be a little forced, instead of it feeling like a natural progression

Because Sophie in Legacy, after breaking up with Fitz, was like "hmm I don't think I'm ready to date anyone"

And I was absolutely here for that. However, in Stellarlune, which is set just a few weeks later, she suddenly knows her soulmate is Keefe

And honestly now that I've had time to mull on it, I do think it's not 100% her editor's fault.

Shannon has been writing Kotlc since she was 21, and has been at it for over 10 years. I imagine a lot of how she feels about Kotlc and the characters has changed significantly. Plus she as a person has changed significantly, and is now a mom of two. As such I think she probably also wants to be done with Kotlc, which probably also explains why the Stellarlune felt that way

Either way this is kind of a negative post lol, but I don't exactly blame either of them. I have the feeling Kotlc has worn out its welcome one way or another, and like it or not, the chapter is about to close soon. I still remember fondly how much I loved this book in my early teens, even as I wish it could have ended with more of a bang than a whimper.

[orionsstory]

that kind of devotion | anarcia (7)

yayy chapter seven is here :) as always, don't forget to check it out on ao3 !! and leave a comment if you liked it teehee

---

For the next two weeks, Marcia found herself texting Lotus every waking moment. During breaks, during dinner, any free time she had was spent laughing at her jokes or smiling at a picture she sent. She got to find out she loved ducks (through the several pictures she sent of the ones at the nearby park- Marcia didn't mind though) to her favorite song (Boss Bitch by Doja Cat, a song Marcia had found herself listening to nonstop lately). If she was lucky, Lotus would even call her after her patrol, and the two would talk for hours. They mostly talked about their day and the investigation, but sometimes Marcia would slip in a story about her growing up, or Lotus would tell her a story about Sasha. The two had grown much closer in the past two weeks, getting along like a house on fire.

Even now, she was sitting on the couch texting Lotus. She giggled at a text the other girl had sent before she was drawn out of her thoughts by someone nudging her leg. "I need to sit down too, you know." Luxx rolled her eyes as she sat down, handing Marcia her food. "Put your phone down and eat, you've been glued to that thing lately. It's your one day off and you've ignored me the whole morning!"

Marcia takes the food from her, "I'm sorry! It's just so...exciting! We've pretty much gone from talking a few times a month to every day, it's hard not to be so engrossed."

"Aww, she's down bad." Luxx teased her.

"No, I'm not down bad. I'm a lover."

"Marsh, that's the same thing."

"It's totally not! Well...maybe a little. Whatever..." She flushed in embarrassment, rolling her eyes. Luxx chuckled at her,  "Isn't that sweet, you know I haven't seen you this excited over a girl since that one in college...what was her name again?" Marcia cringed at the memory, she had to admit she may have the tendency to fall for people quite easily, but Lotus wasn't the same.

"That's not the same thing. Lotus is different."

Luxx raised her eyebrow, so she continued, "She shows genuine interest in me. She cares about my theatre stuff and how my day is. She texts me pictures of cute dogs she sees because she knows I'll love them. She's...thoughtful. Also, she didn't forget my name after one date, so she's already leagues ahead of Caitlin."

Luxx laughed, "Oh my god, I forgot about that! What did she call you again? Maria?"

"Miriam. She said she knew it was some old lady's name."

"Oh my god, she was awful. I'm so glad that lasted like, two weeks."

"You and me both. Anyways, what were you thinking of doing?"

"Well, since we're all getting together after your show tomorrow, I figured we could just lie low today. We could go to that coffee shop you like and people-watch."

Marcia was sold. "You know me so well, Luxx."

"Of course I do. We've been friends for like 10 years, it'd be sad if I didn't. Now let's go, I want to get a good spot before it gets busy."

-

They arrived at the small shop, setting their items down on the counter facing the biggest window. Marcia took a seat, taking out her drawing supplies as Luxx went to grab their drinks. It had been a while since they had been able to do this- they used to do it all the time in college, watching the people pass by and wonder about their lives while they worked on essays or assignments. They would wonder about their own lives, and what the future would be like. Marcia likes to think her younger self would be proud of where she is now. It makes her smile.

"One tea with honey for you...and an espresso for me!" Luxx hums as she sits the drinks down, sliding onto the seat beside Marcia. She brings out her own drawing materials, peering out the window.

"I missed this. Feels like it's been forever since we've done this."

"I know, it feels like we barely have time anymore. I guess that's what it means to be an adult."

Luxx nodded, her pencil sketching across the page. "Such is capitalism. Ugh, I'm so antsy to get this collection done. We're almost ready to go into production, so my stress is mostly over."

"Oh, I'm excited to see the collection! You're taking me to see the show, right?"

"Who else is going to be my plus one?" She laughs, taking a sip of her drink. "Oh yeah, that's good. Fuck, I've missed good coffee. The office coffee is so shitty, Marsh. Oh my god, it's horrible."

Marcia smiled, opening her own sketchbook as she began sketching some of the people outside. "For a luxury brand, you would think they could afford a better coffee machine." She laughed, scribbling in a woman's dark coat. "Maybe they'll get you a new one for Christmas."

Luxx rolled her eyes, "Please, don't give me hope. Irene keeps saying she's going to fix it and improve it herself but we've been so swamped she hasn't had time yet." She looked up for her next target before selecting a man with a dog. "Look at that dog- isn't it cute? Ugh, I wish I was better at animals. It looks like a rat."

Marcia leaned over to look at the sketch, rolling her eyes. "It looks great, you're being dramatic. That is a cute dog though, what a baby." She cooed, snapping a picture of it before she sent it to Lotus. "How is the collection going anyway? Weren't you guys almost done like, a month ago?"

"Well, we were going through final revisions, but they decided to scrap some of the looks so we had to come up with some new ones. I'm hoping this will be the final round though. I've got some of the early concepts for designs in here though." She answers, flipping through her sketchbook to show Marcia some of the designs. 

She always admired the other girls' aesthetic, Luxx's usual grungy and dark designs had seemed to translate perfectly to spring fashion. Desaturated colors and skirts with purposeful rips and tears turned a skirt into the shape of a flower, an impressive feat. Marcia had seen Luxx make gorgeous designs that weren't her aesthetic, but these ones were special. She always loved it when Luxx could show her passion through her designs.

"Dark forest...what a theme, right?" She softly chuckles, flipping back to the sketch she was working on. "I like it though. I think it'll be our best collection yet."

Marcia proudly smiles, returning to her own sketch of some scenery. They sketched in comfortable silence for some time, Marcia having stopped sketching the people outside and started sketching Lotus. She didn't mean to, it was just sort of a habit at this point.

"That's really good, is that Lotus?" Luxx asks, leaning over. Marcia nods, her face tinged red. "Is she coming to your performance tomorrow?"

"No, but she's coming for my first night as Elle. I'm really excited, I hope she'll like my performance- I've been working so hard on it. God, I hope it goes well, what if I choke?"

"You won't choke. You were like, born for this. You're gonna kill it."

Marcia smiles at her, "Thanks, Luxx."

-

Luxx volunteered for dinner duty that night, allowing Marcia a moment to herself. To debrief, to prepare herself for tomorrow. She felt the nerves creeping up, like they did for every show she had done. She had to remind herself that it was going to go well, that she was going to do well. She focused on the warm water of the shower that was beginning to turn cold- maybe she had been in there longer than she thought.

She stepped out of the shower, wrapping her hair in a soft pink towel before beginning to dry herself off. It was nice, and for a moment she felt calm as she blow-dried her hair, the muffled music of Ariana Grande playing in the background. 7 rings was interrupted by the ringing of her phone, Marcia clicked off the hair dryer as she answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, doll." Lotus' voice came from the other end. "Are you able to talk?"

Marcia hummed, "For a little bit- Luxx will kill me if I miss dinner." She wrapped her soft pink robe around her as she left the bathroom and entered her bedroom across the hall. "I thought you're usually on patrol around this time of day?"

"I am, but it's always a slow start. Thought I'd talk to you until I get a call."

She softly smiled, "Well, I won't complain about that. How's your day been?"

"Pretty standard. I'm hanging out with my coworker soon, but other than that nothing of note. But enough about me- you're gonna be on Broadway tomorrow! How are you feeling?"

"Nervous. Excited. I can't tell- I think it's both." She chuckled, "I know I'll probably do well, but it's just those pre-show nerves, you know?"

"Nah, I know you're gonna crush it."

"But how do you know? What if I...I don't know, trip and break my arm or something."

"I think you'd still perform, even if you had to be in a cast. Don't worry. Besides, isn't the saying break a leg?"

Marcia softly sighed, a smile creeping onto her face as she rummaged through her dresser for her pajamas. "Yeah, it is...and you're probably right. I'm way too excited about this. I just can't believe it's finally happening!"

She heard a faint buzzing on the other line, vaguely recognizing it as the sound of a call.

"Do you have to go?"

Lotus sighed, "Yeah. I do. I'm sorry. Hey- break a leg tomorrow. You're gonna kill it."

Marcia smiled. "Thanks, I will."

She heard Lotus laugh, she could practically see the other girls smile in her head.

"Atta girl."

-

The next morning was a blur. She remembered waking up to a 'break a leg ;)' text from Lotus and eating breakfast with Luxx, but time seemed to fly by after that. Her usual subway ride seemed to take five minutes, and their rehearsal that morning felt like it had happened in a second.

Now, she was in the dressing room with her castmates, all giddy and excited for the show. She applied the last of her blush and made sure her costume was perfect, waiting in the wings with the rest of the ensemble for the first number to start. Many were excitedly whispering to each other, the air in the theatre felt electric.

"Who's here for you tonight, Marcia?" One of her castmates and friends, Plasma, asked her.

"My friends and one of my cousins- we're going out afterward. What about you?"

"Some of my friends- and my mom, she flew in from Texas to be here. I can't believe it's opening night!" She excitedly shook Marcia's arm, causing her to smile.

"I know. Oh! There's the house lights, we're going!" She excitedly whispered, taking her place in preparation. She felt the anxiety returning to her chest, taking a deep breath as the curtains drew open.

They began their first number, which went as perfectly as it could. Marcia hit all the right steps, all the right notes, and stayed in character the entire time. She felt the anxiety in her chest dissipate after the first number, it turning into a feeling of joy. She felt good going into the second number, which turned into feeling great for the entire first act. During intermission, she and Plasma celebrated their success, which meant excitedly talking about the show while they made costume and makeup adjustments for the second act.

The second act also went spectacularly. She could tell the entire cast was bringing their all, and the audience could too. Every time the audience laughed or cheered her drive became stronger, causing her to perform even better. By the time curtain call came, she was exhausted- but proud. As she bowed with the rest of the ensemble, she could hear Luxx's cheers above the rest. She couldn't see her group because of the house lights, but that was enough to put a smile on her face. 

She's able to get out of her costume and makeup fairly quickly, only delayed by her and Plasma geeking out about the show- releasing the remainder of the energy they had for the night. Eventually, she gathered her things and left, signing some things for a few fans at the stage door before spotting her friends.

"MARSHALL!" Luxx squealed, tightly hugging the other girl. Marcia giggled as her friends swarmed her, excitement filling the air. Jan raved on and on about her vocals and dance moves, her cousin was a fellow theatre nerd and they often spent their childhood watching different musicals (and poorly reenacting them). Robin, although less experienced in the theatre world, complimented her performance and gave her a bouquet- which Amethyst almost crushed as she pulled the group in to take a photo.

Marcia feels elated as the group returns to her apartment, giving her time to change into a sparkly mini-dress. She quickly shot a text to Lotus before coming back out, rejoining the girls who had also changed. They took a quick shot of some tequila they had lying around the house before heading to the nearest gay bar.

-

"My girlfriend said she and her friend are a few minutes away," Robin yelled above the noise, trying to keep Amethyst from getting swallowed up by the crowd. "I'm making them get us drinks- what does everyone want?"

The girls shouted out their various drink orders to Robin, drowned out by the club's music. The lights strobed and Marcia could feel her body vibrating from the bass. She danced with Luxx and Amethyst, letting herself go and focusing on having fun- she deserved it, after all. She felt her legs growing sore, but it didn't bother her. She would regret it in the morning, however it wasn't anything she couldn't deal with.

They only stopped dancing when Robin squealed, throwing herself into the arms of a girl who had just walked up. "That's Aura," Amethyst shouted so they could hear, the other girls nodding along. "Who's that beside her?" Marcia asked, referring to the girl who had appeared beside Aura.

She was wearing a short red dress and a leather jacket, and her long light-colored hair was straight and worn down, with some bobby pins to keep her bangs back. She looked like she had some darker streaks in her hair, but she couldn't be too sure with the blaring club lights. From what Marcia could see, she had a pretty athletic build and a scar over her left eye. She felt like she knew the girl, but she couldn't place her finger on why.

"I guess her friend," Amethyst whispered in her ear, "She's hot, right? Is she glaring at us though?" Marcia turned her attention back to the other woman, Amethyst was right- she did seem to be glaring, but she couldn't even clearly see the girl because of the flashing lights.

"Can't tell."

Aura and Robin finally broke apart, allowing Aura to shift her attention to the other girl.

"Oh! This is one of my friends, Anetra!" The other girl nodded her head in greeting. "She doesn't bite, she just has chronic RBF." Aura laughed, Anetra rolled her eyes and playfully elbowed her. Amethyst introduced herself first before Marcia did- she noticed the girl's eyes widen a bit before returning to normal. That was strange, did she recognize her too?

She was going to talk to her more when Aura pulled her away to go get the group's drinks, putting a pin in her plan. That was fine, she'd just talk to her when she returned. However, Anetra didn't return. Aura came back alone, balancing the drinks in her arms.

"Where'd Anetra go?" Luxx asked, taking her drink from Aura.

"She got a call while we were waiting at the bar- came back and said there was an emergency and dashed out. She seemed stressed about it."

"I hope she's okay..." Marcia worried, "Poor girl just got here."

"I'll check up on her later, she's a tough cookie so I'm sure she'll be fine."

That was the last they talked about it, the rest of the night was a blur as they danced and drank until their feet hurt. Marcia tried to tone it down so she wouldn't feel as miserable tomorrow, which worked to some degree. She and Luxx left around 1 am, both deciding to be somewhat responsible. She quickly changed into her pajamas, almost passing out the instant she hit the bed. She shot off a goodnight text to Lotus, who still hadn't answered her last message, which was odd. She worried something may have happened, but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind- she was just paranoid.

[utopiastri]

Fic Writer Interview!!!

tagged by @1425fivefive (forever ago, whoops!) and @miamimaiden

(this was such a funny ask game bc i did mostly end up discussing my F1 fics but I also have a Number of musicals fics on my ao3 so those do also crop up in my answers lmao)

How many works do you have on AO3?

10 in total!!! 4 F1 fics so far though

What's your total AO3 word count?

62,635 apparently (mostly being driven by one of those aforementioned musicals fics lmao)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

who actually texts people this much (3,076) (again. the musicals fic)

you must like me for me (646)

tell me 'bout the first time you saw me (508)

you're always on my team (464)

and i'll learn how to fly (253)

ok other than the obvious outlier at the top, i'm thrilled that my four F1 fics are the ones that have made it into the top 5 because they are undeniably the ones i'm proudest of right now

insane to me how many people have liked you're always on my team!!! i was a little nervous about posting my first chaptered fic in a while and i'm so happy it got such a lovely reception

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!!! oh my god i love responding to comments as much as i love leaving comments myself!!!

the only thing with this is that i do find myself forgetting to actually put time aside in my day to do it!!! so sometimes, about two weeks after i read a comment and internally squealed about it, i'll go "oh FUCK i didn't reply that comment" and sprint to my laptop

so, uh, if you've ever received a late comment reply from me? now you know why lmao

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

oh god um. none of them? i guess the one abandoned fic on my ao3 account (a she-ra fic from 2018 lmao) has the angstiest ending by virtue of the fic not being finished and no resolution being reached lmao

but genuinely i don't think i could ever write a fic with an angsty ending!!! i think at best i could plot an angty ending??? or maybe write a drabble or something??? but honestly, i really struggle reading angsty endings so it would be a rogue move to write one lmao

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

ooooooo excellent question

honestly any of my finished F1 fics probably work but i think i'll go with you must like me for me! truly one of my favourite brands of happy ending is a reciprocated love confession and (not to spoil the fic lmao) that might be one of my favourite ones i've ever done!

Do you write crossovers?

nope!!!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

oooo once upon a time i received a comment on that musicals fic, who actually texts people this much, that was fairly harsh on the writing??? the worst part was enough time had passed since i'd written the fic and i'd honestly reached the part of the writing cycle where i hated everything about it so i almost agreed with the commenter lmao

even today, i think the critique was accurate! but perhaps not a polite/kind thing to comment on someone's fic lmao

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i'm trying to!!! i haven't posted any yet

i am terrible at describing things (including like. physical movement) so, so far, any smut i've attempted to write has been fairly dialogue-heavy!!! but honestly that's generally my taste in smut so i think this tracks

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

that musicals texting fic has been translated somewhere on the internet! one of my friends in uni dug it up lmao

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

never co-written before! i am a huge fan of brainstorming fics with my friends though! either their fics or mine - i just love the collaboration of it all!!!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

god this is difficult!!! my taste in ships moves around all the time to be honest

ok for F1, it's fairly easy - landoscar do unfortunately possess my entire heart and there is very little i can do about that lmao

other than that? i do have to mention how much i still adore the les mis pairing enjolras/grantaire because i did spend a good portion of my teenage years thinking about them and only them lmao

and i spent many a year in steve/bucky from the mcu hell so i guess it's important that that goes on here too!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

so many!!! in particular though, i would love to one day finish the first ever landoscar fic i ever worked on (the idea was that oscar and lando are friends with benefits but, through miscommunication shenanigans, have somehow never kissed lmao)

i think i'd just really enjoy the full circle moment of getting to finish that first wip!

What are your writing strengths?

dialogue!!! dialogue my beloved! my favourite thing i have ever written is the unreciprocated love confession scene in you must like me for me - writing a dramatic not-argument/discussion was just so tailored to my strengths of writing dialogue and not much else lmao

there's a reason i'm having so much fun with you're always on my team! and it's because what is a texting fic if not a fic made only of dialogue!!!

What are your writing weaknesses?

description!!!!!! tell me 'bout the first time you saw me was a delight to write but truly i don't know if i could do a first meeting fic again because trying to work out how a stranger would describe oscar piastri was a NIGHTMARE

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

as someone who can only speak english, i simply don't have a good enough understanding of any other language to do it without defaulting to like. terrible google translate

i think it can be fun to read though!!! it depends what effect the author is going for tbh

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

...glee (i wasn't even that into glee!!! my two best friends at the time were though so i wrote a couple things i thought they'd enjoy lmao)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

galex!!! i don't know if i could do it but i really really want to one day - if only because my girlfriend's sister adores them and i think it would be fun to write something for her!

although i have also been pondering gax a lot with @jusst-you-race!!! so maybe i should throw gax in here too

What's your favorite fic you've written?

you must like me for me undoubtedly. it's the most complete fic i think i've ever written in that there's a clear plot with a clear resolution and, as i said earlier, that unreciprocated love confession/first kiss scene is genuinely my favourite thing i have written of anything ever!!!

it was also the first fic i'd posted in nearly 6 years!!! and i'm so glad i felt happy enough with it to share it because i've just had the most wonderful time in this fandom since doing so!!!

i cannot for the life of me remember who has done this so no pressure tagging @ipleadbritney and @jusst-you-race and anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[saturnine-saturneight]

OC deep dive tag!

Thank you to @fortunatetragedy for the tag!!! [here]

I need a little jumpstart for Matcha's voice for this next chapter, so I'm digging this two week old tag out of my drafts x)

Phobias: She pretends that it's spiders, because she figures that screaming at those and making other people get them for her makes her look more harmelss. She honestly doesn't mind them that much. Her actual fear is trypophobia.

Other fears: Being taken too seriously. Tripping over her words.

Pet peeves: Recalcitrant people who won't let her pry into their business. Open up. C'monnnn. It's just her! :)

3 items you can find in her bedroom: Romance novel, eyeliner, burner phone.

First thing she notices in a person: Approachableness, even before attractiveness. She's generally good at gauging how open somebody is to friendly interaction.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is her pain tolerance? 2 or 3. She doesn't like getting hurt.

Does she go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Fawning first, then flight mode, and only when those two don't work, fight, but more like a cornered mouse trying to bite.

Does she come from a big family/is she a family person? She has two older brothers, one older sister, and a sprawling web of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. She liked the family get togethers and misses them, but she doesn't miss everybody getting into her business. She has her own family now and sometimes wishes these two parts of her life could meet, but knows this can never happen.

What animal represents her best? Opossum :V She, too, likes to play dead dramatically, panic and hiss at everything, and dig through other people's trash / dirty laundry.

What is a smell that she dislikes? She's pretty tolerant to bad smells. A good trait to have in her former line of work.

Has she broken any bones? She broke her ankle running a few years ago. It still bothers her.

How would a stranger likely describe her? I'll let Nat do us the honors:

"On the other side of her face, a thick curtain of her hair is falling into her brown, cat-like face. It’s thick, pin straight, and dull looking, and where it hits her waist, split ends are starting to form. Nat eyes her thin wrists. She looks straight up malnourished, or perhaps like she hasn’t done physical labor a day in her life."

Is she a night owl or a morning bird? Night owl, though she's often forced to wake up early.

What is a flavor she hates and a flavor she loves? She loves the taste of coffee and hates fermented things like sauerkraut or kimchi, though she likes pickled mangoes.

Does she have any hobbies? Matcha no longer has a lot of time for hobbies. She doodles in the margins of notes often, though.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How does she react to surprises? Freeze with shock. Then: Squeal with joy. You thought of her? That's so sweet!!

Does she like to wear jewelry? Her ears are pierced in multiple places, though she's taken the majority of her ear jewelry out. She likes the look of chokers, usually simple and black, and wears bracelets sometimes.

Does she have neat or messy handwriting? Curly and pretty when she knows others will see it, jagged and quick in her own private notes.

What are the two emotions she feels the most? Dread and longing.

Does she have a favorite fabric? She likes velvet, silk, and mohair :)

What kind of accent does she have? She has a pretty standard North American accent. She's a second generation immigrant, her parents immigrated from Mumbai to the former US during the second bio engineering boom in the mid 2170s, ten years before she was born, give or take. So she grew up speaking Marathi at home and American English and Hindi in school and with peers.

Tagging:

@paeliae-occasionally @rotting-moon-writes @marlowethelibrarian @fortunatetragedy (get retagged >:) ) @fairytaleinagem

@writingrosesonneptune @davycoquette @the-golden-comet @gioiaalbanoart @chauceryfairytales

@autism-purgatory @lychhiker-writes @marquis-of-writeblr @cowboybrunch

[comicaurora]

If this is rude to ask please please ignore, this is from the perspective of someone in pre-planning stages of my own comic:

How long did it take you to shrink from the 30(?) page buffer I think you said you started with to 10 pages? I assume starting with that big buffer meant that this is less impactful to the comic and thus less stressful, but do you have breaks planned for yourself so you can re-up that backlog or do you intend to try to do it in-time with the comic? You're a powerhouse who I only ascribe to half the output of, but I'd love to know a little more about your backlog ethos. (When you have time of course!)

Heh, oh boy. The biggest bite got taken out of the buffer during Falst's intro arc. I had boarded something like a dozen pages when I decided I didn't like the direction they'd taken and I scrapped them back to blanks. I don't do this as a rule, but I could tell this one was a problem - I can't even remember why now, but there was something there that just wasn't working. I thus had a time-loss redoing those pages that made up the better part of a chapter, and my storyboard buffer shrank pretty significantly, though it's since recovered in a big way.

More of the buffer got worn down during the back half of the Zuurith arc and the Tynan fight, since every page was so complicated. Alongside the environmental fog and rain effects and the eight different kinds of glow, it was also a lot of characters on every page, and that increased the lineart and coloring time significantly. If I recall correctly, the buffer shrank to the low single digits a few times during that arc.

At some point I might take a break, but I kind of don't want to. I've kept up a solid pace this long and I don't wanna break my streak. I've been able to build the buffer back up to 20 pages before, but the problem is I tend to then take the following week or two off on the comic progress front because in my head I've made a good chunk of progress and thus should take a break. I'm getting better at incremental scene-by-scene progress, and I think chapter 20 is going to be good for rebuilding the buffer, because - spoiler alert - a lot of these scenes are one or two characters only, and most of them have fairly dark featureless backgrounds. I suspect I'll be able to get a healthy headstart just working through this chapter. This was my reward to myself for constantly making the Tynan fight increasingly complicated and ridiculous, and it's honestly a breath of fresh air to make these pages so much simpler.

My rule for comic-making is set a pace you can keep up. If you need to take a break, that's fine - my own unwillingness to do so is a me thing I'm working through. not a policy to emulate. I've been able to keep this up for three years with minimal buffer-loss, and as the story progresses my own art gets better and faster, making it easier for me to maintain this pace. That's why I made sure to start with such a hefty buffer - to give myself time to pick up speed and get better, time to have the occasional crash-and-burn week or even month where nothing gets done, and time to rewrite things that were being problems. Basically, the buffer is 100% working as intended so far, because all of those things have happened at least once.

The math is pretty favorable. With a three-page-a-week upload schedule, if I can finish three pages in under a week I'm guaranteed to keep the buffer going. At peak performance I can do five or six pages in one day, though that's dependent on complexity and that pace isn't sustainable for long - but of course it doesn't have to be, because that buys me two weeks to recover and do all the other stuff I couldn't do during the hellride. The block of pages I'm going to color tonight is five pages, which will buy me nearly two weeks. I lined and shaded those five pages on Friday, and I'd blocked out the backgrounds for this whole scene and the following one in one afternoon the previous week. It's not hellride-pace because it doesn't have to be, but if I needed to push it I could buy myself a week in under a day. Because of this, rebuilding the buffer back up to 20+ is a lower priority than keeping a steady pace that won't hurt my drawing hand or my writing brain.

But if I take too big of a hit I'll announce a two-week break or something. I have things arranged so hopefully I never have to, but ya never know, and it's important to be okay with taking the occasional unexpected hit!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

WIP Questionnaire Tag

Snatching it from @tildeathiwillwrite and since that was an open tag, I'll just leave it an open tag.

1. What’s the first part of your WIP that you created? 2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be? 3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why? 4. What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share? 5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP? 6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them! 7. How do your characters travel/get around? 8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now? 9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in? 10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

Under the cut for my currently still untitled project:

1. What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

As always, the first line of the first chapter :D I don't consider the brainstorming/planning phase a part of the WIP or I would have an intimidating amount of WIPs.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I don't go there, but my personal current theme song is

Calum Scott, Leona Lewis - You Are The Reason (Duet Version)

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

I can never pick between the two leads. As always, they both have aspects I love very much, and they don't work without the other. Bonded stray cats characters, you know.

I'm really early on still, and I hope to see more of their personalities unfold when they're not uh. Currently dying.

So far, there are no (planned) side characters I like. What happens, happens.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

I really don't know. When I try to think of any kind of published media that hits the same way, I come up empty. And when I try to compare my stuff to something, all I can see are the differences. And not in a "look how unique I am" way, but in a "this is obviously not what they want" one.

Perhaps I should take a look at Anna's favorite books list to answer that 😂

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

The chapter I finished last night. It has, let's say, graphical content of a nature I have not written before 😬 Took me over a week or more to get the whole scene down. I hope now things will get easier.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Nope. Probably a few that end up in a cooking pot, though I don't think either of the two is as good at trapping as Eilis is 😅

7. How do your characters travel/get around?

Exclusively by foot!

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

I think I'm about to be done with the first part of the story, and we're soon moving on to "escaping from the torture dungeon" :D

I did a very rough outline that would put those 20k words as 1/4 but we all know it won't stay at 80k total, don't we.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

Graphic depictions of violence.

Since I don't make anything off it, advertising isn't exactly my main job, but I seem to be rather unable to pull new readers in, no matter how many fancy posts and images I make with quotes and tropes and whatnot. So, in the end, I think most readers will read it because I wrote it and they liked other things I wrote - and I love them for it 💜 🥺

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

Think of a fucking title. Finish it by the end of the year. Afford 2-4 pieces of custom artwork. Find some readers? 🥺

[theradicalscrivener]

Just checking in.

I've been doing a buncha writing these past few weeks but I haven't been posting for a few reasons. I've been jumping between several fics, which is something I tend to do when in like fishing for inspiration. Nothing was particularly standing out to me so I had a few vague ideas that I tried to write. I'd do a paragraph or two a day to see if anything managed to break through the writers block.

I have managed to finish a couple. Acorn chapters 9 and 10 are done. I finished another short and silly Troy fic. There's also a handful of other fics that are nearing completion but I don't know if they're going to be in a state to post anytime soon.

You know the old saying write drunk, edit sober? Kinda what I did this past week. I have been super sick. For the first few days I was like. I'm just a little tired. It's fine. Then the past few days I have been in bed pretty much 24/7. So I guess you could say I had been feverishly writing. (A bit more literally than I'd like though).

I'm mildly annoyed because I was supposed to get my new ears installed last week, but first the parts were late to arrive so we had to reschedule and then I had a massive ear infection so it got delayed again. If I'll goes well I'll get them out in on Monday.

[lokiforever]

New teachers at school!!!!

Chapter 10

Series Masterlist

A/N: Greetings,midgardians!So,my lovely mortals as many of you know, following the results of the poll JK's role is now officially switched to a student. Tom will be teaching History and English.....

Nyt!💚

Y/N : Stay, please!

You said in a low, meek voice. His heart clenched at the sight of you so sad and troubled.

Tom : I'm right here, sweetheart.

He said and sat back down on the bed and once he was one hundred percent sure that you're back in your slumber , he got up and laid on the couch in the room . Just in case you get another nightmare, though he sincerely hoped you don't .

He had to admit ,this nightmare got him wondering that what so bad happened to you because of which you get those awful nightmares. He was pretty sure about the fact that they're connected.

-----------------------

You woke up by your mobile alarm, only to find ,Tom, peacefully sleeping on the couch. Always a gentleman. You didn't exactly remember what happened last night....but he was there with you,that much you could recall. You felt a bit bashful, now that you think of it ....he was your professor afterall 🤷🏻.

There was a text from Y/B/F/N....

" Hey!! I'll be staying at Jungkook's ..."

"Hey! Amazing!Sorry for replying late, At Tom's ..... 😅". You replied

You got up , as quietly as you could, didn't want to wake your professor up from his deep, peaceful slumber . As you tip-toed your way towards the door, you decided to make some breakfast for you two . So, you went down to the kitchen and started cooking.

You decided to make a proper English Breakfast with a cup of Earl grey. Humming a tune to yourself , you started cooking.

*After 20 minutes*

You felt a pair of hands on your waist and if it wasn't for the fact that you could recognise him just by his scent you'd have beaten the man up . 😅 Just a reflex after that incident because of which you get the nightmares.

"Good morning, darling!" You heard Tom's angelic voice, it sounded deeper as he just woke up.

He placed a kiss on your neck which made you smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart! Breakfast is almost done!"

His heart skipped a beat at the name , you never call him that.

"Mmmm.....I can already smell the delicacy you're whipping up ! What's on the menu?" " Classic english breakfast with a cup of your favourite Earl Grey tea !" you replied. "That sounds wonderful!! Let me help you set the table!" he offered politely. "Sure, thanks!"

As he helped you set the table up, you plated the breakfast.

"Bon appétit !!"

A contented moan escaped his lips as he took the first bite and hell if you wouldn't kill to hear that sound again....

" Mmmm ....you are an amazing cook , darling!! It's the best breakfast I've ever had! Scrumptious!!" He praised you with a heart warming smile.

" I'm glad you like it, Tom !! But hey - you yourself are a great cook !" you said . "Not as good as you!" He protested "Oh, come on!" you chuckled , a blush rising up your cheeks.

"Holy Shit!!! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE !!!!!" you said as you looked at the time. "Late to what, darling?" He said, totally clueless. "COLLEGE!" You replied. For some reason, he started laughing. " Why . Are. You. Laughing. Tom !!????" Somehow, this made him laugh even harder. " You didn't check the emails , did you?? " He said.

As you picked up the phone, you saw an email from your college informing that all the classes are cancelled for this week. "Ohh.......... sorry" you said , completely crimson from blushing. "It's perfectly fine, dear! Plus, do you know that you look cute when you're angry?"

This made you blush even harder, if that was possible......."Come on !!!" you said.."I'm merely stating what's true" said he . This made you chuckle, "Thank you, sweetheart!"

*After the breakfast*

"Y/N ??" He said while you were making a presentation on your laptop for a project ...so, you hummed in response. "Uhh.... If you don't mind me asking......" he trailed off, so you looked him in the eye and asked - " What is it that's bothering you, Tom ?" " It's just.....last night......as you were having that nightmare, you were asking me to tell someone to stay away....... who's that ?" he inquired, his voice full of concern.

You felt like your heart has stopped beating, your face went pale and you started sweating. "Uhh..........unmm...I-I .......i-it....." you tried to say something but failed as you felt a lump in your throat.

"Hey - Hey , it's fine, darling! You don't need to tell me if it troubles you ! " He got up and brought some water for you . "Here, have some water " ......

"I'm so sorry for the sudden outburst..... it's just - " you tried to explain, only to be interrupted by him "It's okay sweetheart, you don't need to explain!" He softly stated. "Wanna watch a movie?" he asked to distract you from that grief of the nightmare.

"Sure!" you said. Both of you then proceed towards the home theatre he had.

"Choose the genre, dear " he said. "Umm ....... what about a thriller or maybe even horror?" you suggested. "Up for a thrill , are we ?" said he .

You guys decided to go with "The Shining" a classic. He even made some popcorn and got a few cans of cold-drinks .

*Sometime into the movie*

You clutched onto Tom for dear life and hid your face against him as one of the scariest scenes came . The fact that you were watching it for the first time didn't help at all . "Do you want me to put something else?" He cooed slowly. "No, it's fine, thank you for asking!'

*After the movie*

"Good Lord , that was amazing, awfully scary.... but amazing!" You chimed in to which he chuckled, "I'm glad you like it, darling!" He said and kissed you on the cheeks which made you blush. You did not see that coming.

"Oh my ! It's 12:30pm !! I must go now!" you exclaimed. "Please stay for lunch..." said Tom. "Trust me, Tom ... I'd love to but I really have to go..." ofcourse, he did try to make you stay but you had to go .... " ........fine ! Let me drop you, at least!" "That would be a great help!" you said. " Oh come on, darling!"

*After the he dropped you off*

You were still sitting in his car , in front of your apartment...... which was apparently locked . Y/B/F/N must still be with JK.....

"Tom?" "Yes, darling.." "Would like to join me for lunch, please?" "I'd love to, darling, but as you know the weather conditions are rather.... harsh. I better get going before it gets worse." He said refering to the windy weather.. "But-" you were interrupted by his lips on yours ...."Some other day, darling, I promise" he said.

"Okay......." you said, not fully agreed. "Come on, like I said, it's a promise!" he said and chuckled. "Fine. I must go, then..." you replied. "What if you grab your essentials and stay at mine?" he suggested.

Chuckling, you said, "Tom, I..umm...you know, I....I can't...plus Y/B/F/N would be alone if I do so.... thanks though " you smiled ... "Okay......but text me if you need anything, no need to go out in this wheather" 'Okay, so it's official. He is the sweetest man in the universe.' you thought.

"You're so sweet !!!!!!!" you said, placing a kiss on his cheeks and you could swear you saw him blush. 'and the cutest too' you continued your previous thought.

"I'll get going, now . Bye, Tom" "Goodbye , darling!" You opened the gate of his car and stepped out, waving to him one last time before making your way towards the door of your apartment.

After a few minutes your best friend also returned.

"Y/N , I'm home !" she called out . "Oh, hey !! How did it go ?" you said. "AMAZING!!!!" She exclaimed. "Well, that's great. But I need the whole story" you said and chuckled. "Done!" said your best friend, chuckling.

The next few days went normally.

Time skip......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*MONDAY*

You were qurrently getting ready for the classes and the first one was English.

Outfit of the day👆🏻

You paired your dress with a black overcoat as it was cold outside.

"Let's go, shall we?" you asked your best friend. "Totally" she replied.

On your way, you guys grabbed a cup of coffee and headed towards your destination...

English Lecture

You sitting on one of the front benches with your best friend. You both were a bit early so no one else was there yet .....as you took a sip of your coffee, you heard the door open and what you saw made you choke on your drink.....

"Good morning, professor" said your best friend. "Good morning, Miss Carter. Um, Y/N you okay?"

You could almost sense a smirk on his face at your obvious reaction.

Okay!? The man literally changed his hair colour and then he's asking you if you're 'okay' ? As if he wasn't already enough he had to change his hair to Black didn't he? And the cherry on top was the outfit he chose.....a blue knitted sweater with a pair of black slacks.

( they could've been a bit less 'tight')

Holy Fuck.

" Y-yes I'm good, thanks!" you reply not so 'swiftly' . "Oh, that's better"....

"Mornin', d- Miss Y/L/N" he said after a slightly awkward stop....and you could tell that Y/B/F/N was trying her best not to laugh, roll her eyes or even grin.

"Good morning, professor!" you said blushing

You couldn't have been more grateful for the lack of audience .

As the students started entering and the class begun, you tired your best to not be distracted by the new change.

*Later in Tom's office*

"You seem to like this, huh?" he said refering to his new hair colour which was totally unexpected as he was the ever subtle one.

"I-I.....uhh...." you were more blushing than talking, earning a chuckle from him.

"Don't worry darling, I won't bite...... unless you ask me to, ofcourse" he said with a smirk and you could swear he winked.

Ok, so now it's official. He is acting a bit different today. You quite liked it, tbh.

You gulped. You just gulped.

"Anyways, my beloved what are your plans for Christmas?" he asked switching the topic like a light switch. "Uh....umm..well, Y/B/F/N is going out with her family so I guess I'll have to either go with her or spend it alone"

"You're not spending it with your family?" he asked "I never met my actual parents.....my aunt brought me up and she too passed a few years ago" you said, tears welling in your eyes but you quickly hide them. "...... I'm so sorry...... What if you stay with me?For Christmas?" he asked "Um...I beg your pardon"

"How about you spend Christmas with me?"

*********************

A/N : Hey mortals!! I know this chapter is a bit short.... sorry....I have a news for you guys,I won't be writing or posting anything for the next one month as I have a lot to work on...... again, I apologise.

Taglist: @holdmytesseract @dishahaldar @lotsoflokilove23 @jennyggggrrr @imlokisgloriouspurpose

[memberment]

Good evening

Guys I just got home from work and proofread everything I needed to including this next Dandelion chapter and I'm trying so hard not to just fucking SOB over it.

I hate it here I want out LMFAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD WHY DID I WRITE THIS FR

10:59 update......

I'm thinking about an absolutely diabolical twist for the Trin series(it doesn't actually change the story in any way, if anything it actually makes it make so much more sense). Like, I've been ruminating on it since last night but idk if it's gonna throw people off. But at the same time like part twos and threes never do as good anyways so do I really even care?? Like, I'm just out here telling stories in fanfic font bc I would rather throw myself in the street than make OCs and not share my fun little stories.

I think I may commit to it.

I don't wanna say it on here though bc it's one of those plot twists you get will not forget even though part three is like FOREVER out.

The more I think about it the more I wanna do it. Someone tell me I should do it.

Oh my god I am shutting up and finishing reading Dandelion, y'all will hear my virtual screams in approximately one and a half business hours.

(11:43) I'm actually fucking sobbing and I didn't even start the last few chapters. Like, I'm actually crying over this. It's not funny.

(12:00) Never by mag lo coming on while I'm finishing up reading this is not funny. I'm devastated. I hope you all hate me after this oh my god I feel like I just ruined my own life. WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE AFTER BEING DONE WITH THIS FIC FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No more angst from me for a long while. I'm banned.

(12:20) Me skimming through tags on fics debating if I want to pick up something new. Everything being totally normal. Suh happy. Trying not to stew in my own misery. And then I see such a vile tag my stomach twists and now I'm just like okay I'll go fuck myself I guess I'll go write or do my homework. I'm sorry, I adore ao3 and I'm never gonna be a hater, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WILD. LIKE I AM TALKING SO BAD I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DOING MY HOMEWORK OVER THAT. LIKE I ACTUALLY JUST WIPED THE TEARS OFF MY FACE AND GOT OVER HOW SAD I WAS BECAUSE OF HOW GENUINELY SHOCKED I WAS. Like wow oh wow.

Anyways. Updates here if there's gonna be any. Also Dandelions up if anyones reading this LMAO

It's 1:40 in the morning and the beginning of Morning Glory is making me fucking unwell. I was not joking when I made that joke about like ten dreaded weeks of angst, Jesus Christ.

(2:12) This is my second time posting this exact part. Like I know I've posted this exact part. But I seriously love Christophe and all of his dialogue with my whole heart.

(4:31) I do not recall making Dova this tragic and I'm literally about to sob over him. LIKE WHY???? WHY DID I DO THAT??? WHY ARE HIS LITTLE SUBTLE BITS OF STORYLINE SO ACTUALLY PAINFUL AS THE STORY GOES ON????? (I am allergic to happiness I am my own canon event at this point)

(4:48) THE ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION THAT COMES WITH WANTING MORE STORY BUT IT SIMPLY NOT EXISTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT IS DEVASTATING.

(5:02) Welp. I'm ruined and am now compelled by god to start working on Morning Glory again. We're at 73k rn. And only two chapters that aren't the prologue are under 4k. That's fucking terrifying. Like I have 17 minus the prologue rn. WE ARE LITERALLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 16/17 OF SUMMER ALONE. AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER 14 AFTER THAT. LIKE THE 14 ARE THE PLANNED SPECIFIC EVENT CHAPTERS. BRUH. WHY DID I DO THIS????

regret.

regret is all I feel.

but I will push through.

(7:38) before I go to bed I will just say I am at 75.3k. I had no idea how I would even get close to 4k on a birthday chapter where the group effectively decided to just stay home and hang out. But now there is like 1.5k of them playing muffin time. It's wild. I love it. GOOD NIGHT.

[mewmewchann]

Projects update!! (end of 2024)

well this year has been fast hasn't it

ANWAY *CLAPS HANDS* I thought I should update you guys on where the projects I'm working on are at so ye ^^

As you guys now know, I've started working on a new project! A completely original story called Dead on Arrival! It's still in concept stages and I'm still figuring out what exactly I want to do with it (ngl the novel/book series route looks appealing rn) but I love the world and characters and hope you guys stay with me as this project evolves ^v^ The 10 main participants all have concept designs now!! All that's left is to design the two hosts and that's everyone designed! and I have a cool idea to reveal each of them so just you wait :3

As for Hope's Chains, as you all know I recently completed chapter 4!! Which was H U G E. Like srsly I had burnout for at least two weeks and am still maybe a bit reeling from it now lmao I consider the chapter 4 trial to be my personal magnum opus now, that's how happy with it I am :) And I'm glad so many people have enjoyed it! As for upcoming content, the next interlude chapter is complete writing wise and just needs its illustrations done and it should be completed soon! As for chapter 5, I still have some crossed wires to write through but it will come eventually! And trust me. Chapter 5 is insanity. :)

Next, Memento Rosa! I finished Main Story earlier this year and have been working on the first event on the side, and I can say it is currently 30-45% done! I only plan on drawing one of the cards (both trained and untrained though :3) to ease my workload but I've been looking forward to writing this event for forever so I hope you guys are looking forward to it ^^

So that leaves Despair From the Heart. I said I wanted to get chapter 6 done this year, but unfortunately I don't think that's gonna happen. With adult life being adult life and getting busier now that I VA for more projects I don't think I'll be able to get chapter 6 done this year. But I will say this. Despair From the Heart has a minimum of three written chapters left before it is fully complete. Which is. Wild. When will those three chapters release? Idk yet, but they will when they're ready. DFTH is the first project I've ever written to completion which is a HUGE thing for me, but it'll come when it comes. (And I'm sure you've noticed I've been teasing/hinting at something with the DFTH cast and as for that...That's still a maybe. I'm still not 100% sure if I'm doing it yet, but it's an idea that might happen. Who knows?)

Anyway thank you all so much as always for following me this year so far and I hope you guys stick with me! Peace out <3

[beforeiread-studies]

Korean Learning - Month 7 update

My last month of studying Korean before moving to Korea O.O

Things I did do

I read 1 book in the Easy Korean Reading series and I've also started the last one! On the one hand, I'm getting sick of this series. I want to start something new. On the other hand, it's a great series and I will miss its methods once I finish this last book (hopefully during September).

I started the King Sejong Institute Cyber course. So far I have only attended 1 live lecture (I had to miss the other twos) so tomorrow will be my second lecture. It was very interesting, because the teacher ONLY spoke in Korean. I don't think she understands much English. I would lose focus every couple of minutes and have to snap myself back to it. But it was doable! I've also just submitted my first writing assignment, I hope I did ok...

I completed other 6 lessons on Italki! Speaking lessons with a teacher is by far the best investment for your time and money. At first I thought I would stop with these lessons once I moved to Korea, but now I've decided to continue. I will probably only do 1 a week though because time and money.

I have created some new fill-it-out cards on Anki, this time correctly. They are a pain to practice but super useful.

I wrote stuff in Korean a couple of times. It's actually not that difficult. Maybe I should start to journal in Korean.

Things I could have done better

I'm now at 1600 words in my Anki deck. I haven't studied much on Anki (I will open it at least a couple of times a day, but I rarely work through all of the cards), which is a bit disappointing but probably also means that I'm bored with it.

I listened to some podcasts but not that many. Still more than I thought I would! But 1 a week rather than 10 in 2 days would have been better.

Things I didn't do

I did not study on my Korean grammar workbook. I wanted to get to chapter 9 before I left for Korea so I guess I'll speed run through now.

I have been wanting to analyze lyrics for a while now but I still haven't found the time to sit down and do it.

September plans

first of all, I will be moving over there. I want to take the first couple of weeks to settle down and then go back to my study routine.

finish reading Easy Korean Reading 4.2

keep taking Italki lessons

keep studying Anki cards

frankly i don't know what life is going to look like so i don't feel like planning

[sirendeepity]

For the fanfic writer ask game:

♥️👻📗

Nikiiiii, my love, it's so good to see you here! <333

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

So, this one's tough. Not because I have the hands of Midas, but because I simply... Have no idea? I did skim through metanoia, though, because if that's where the good stuff is, and I found a few because I'm physically unable to choose just one I really liked, two of which are quote quotes

“I gave him the power he thinks he has now, and by not agreeing on meeting with him we’re just proving his point: that he has something, that he’s worth something. I’d rather die than give him the satisfaction.”

That night was not for deep, belly laughs. That night was for healing what others had broken. To build anew.

while the third is more of a context quote

What caught her attention the most, tho, had been the fact that Rhysand had been ready to put so much of himself, of what he’d been through, at stake. For her. Nesta shifted in her seat, not stomaching the starlight violet any longer. She felt Night caressing her mental shields, purring, asking to get in. She let it. You’re worth the risks. She turned, the bones in her neck cracking with the fast motion, and stared speechless at Rhysand. She’d let him in her mind, yet the voice wasn’t there. He’d said those words out loud, had made sure the stars heard them too.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

I answered this one here, bUT I'll give you another one, which is also a spoiler for a possible future multi-chapter fanfic I've been thinking about for a while and recently I'm entertaining the idea of actually try to write it? We'll see. Anyway I have this idea that the Valkyries (well, Nesta, at least, since she's the one who's part of the Inner Circle) will "give up" their citizenship? And they're not members of the Night Court anymore? Or they're just a private citizen like any other? I still have to think this trough, but they're going to do all that because they are going to tour around Prythian to recruit and train more females and officially revive The Valkyries, and make them an army for the people: basically, there will be a base in every Court and legions/battalions for each, but overall they don't belong to a single Court but rather all of them, but really, if you think about it, none at all. They're like an independent army, the "neutral party" which will not stay so neutral if things get dirty. They'll stand for equality and freedom, they'll protect the innocents, and by not "legally" belonging to any Court they won't have a High Lord or High Lady that can order them around and such, so they'll be like an Eight Court of sorts without really being a Court at all. Does this make sense?

📗 Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

Oh bestie I'm so happy you asked this because y e s. Yes. Yes, I do. And I am completely cool about it. Not acting weird at all.

I'm almost done with the first draft of this personal project of mine that I've been working on and off for the past ..year..s? But I keep procrastinating so I've been "-10 chapters!!" for the past week, but still. To keep things sweet and short, I'll make you a list, because we love lists on this blog:

Crown of Thorns (4): (high?) fantasy; reluctant found family where each and every one of them is "in it" for their own personal gaining, but what started as a shallow "they took my crown from me so now I'll take it back because I can? and because I'm petty and hold grudges" will turn into "I have to stop the Lord of Darkness from coming back from the dead and destroy the world as we know it, and maybe start a revolution while I'm at it". It's messy, and sometimes I think I won't be able to pull this off the way I intended to (good intentions, bad delivery, you know?) so don't ask me to tell you more than this because I really don't know how without spoiling the entire thing;

Cursed Goddes/Blessed God (2): CoT spin-off that is actually a prequel and kind of explains/shows the events that led society to become the way it is in CoT and yes, I really did dig my own grave with this whole series, but now I'm in too deep to stop so down we go;

Kill Your Darlings (1): dark academia-ish, paranormal vibes and a hint of mystery, too? Think House of Anubis, but everyone is gay and mentally ill. That's it, that's the plot.

The Haven Island series (3): contemporary romance, interconnected standalones following a group of friends navigating life in their 20s, where every story is meant to represent a different aspect of girlhood/womanhood (aka toxic/abusive relationships, motherhood, sexism and mysoginy, etc.)

I'd also like to write something in the dystopian sub-genre, because who doesn't love that feeling of impending and unavoidable doom? But I have absolutely nothing in my hands if not some sort of relationship dynamics that for the sake of logic and coherency I had to cut out from the CoT plot, so, yeah, we're really basing it all on vibes at this point

Ask me a question!

[zannolin]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @beautyofsorrow, tagging @lordgrimwing @faebriel and anyone else who wants to do it!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

publicly associated with my account, 45. in total, including a couple i orphaned before i knew you could put them on anon, 84 i believe. 85 if you count the two chapters of that leakira zine i wrote that are up there somewhere. i could be off. but i forgot how to get to where it shows me the total number and i can't be bothered lol.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

438,464 baby. maybe 500k in 2024? who knows.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

ones 90% of you have never heard of, at this point. it fluctuates depending on whatever i'm getting ideas for, but actively at the moment, the mullverse (mostly beyonders), resident evil, and lockwood & co, national treasure (might be done with that tho, i've exhausted my must-writes). i have other stuff knocking around, like life is strange, mona lisa smile, mlp, some more shazam, bendy and the ink machine, a tlou fic...but who knows.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

ugh. 1. in this fearful fallen place (i will be your home) 2. welcome home, theseus 3. sanctuary 4. i'll carry the weight of you, i swear 5. eat you alive. it says a lot that only one of those is still publicly listed on my profile. even then i'm tempted to put it on anon. they're only my top kudos'd by virtue of being from a big fandom. definitely not my best. at all. even within that fandom. free me and my stats page.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not all of them, but i make an effort when comments are thoughtful or especially brighten my day. it's easier now because writing for smaller very niche fandoms you don't tend to get a lot so i don't feel overwhelmed or anything, but man responding is hard sometimes. i want people to know they made me happy, though, when they do. so i try.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i mean there's that tododeku one where they both die brutally and were supposed to get married next week. there's also the batcat fic that i wrote solely for the purpose of killing bruce wayne (sorry). there's um. also the klance titanic (historical not titanic the movie) au i wrote ages ago. haha. yeah. anyway.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

all of them. hfdsjkhfs no i honestly couldn't tell you. i have a mike flanagan-ass idea of a happy ending these days. maybe three's a crowd? hell if i know.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i've had a couple instances of people harassing me over them but never like. "your fic is so bad i hate it die". so maybe?? i'm too obscure to be getting hate at this point lol. who out here is gonna read beyonders fic just to comment mean things.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not. i did try years ago. that notebook has since been put through the shredder and dumped into the recycling bin for good measure. (yes, it was that bad.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

technically no but i've thought about it sometimes. they've all promptly fled my head though so just trust me on this one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

gee i hope not. there's been a lot of suspicious similarities in some old cases but like. that literally does not matter to me anymore idc. it's not straight up theft in any case so not to my knowledge ig?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again not to my knowledge but i do have blanket permissions for that if anyone ever wanted to. it's cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in the 2010s my friend and i were writing a warriors fic together. she did one chapter, i did one, etc. i've had collaborative aus as well (cat's cradle and whatnot) but not a collaboratively written fic for any of them. me and tam were writing the coma au together but we're no longer in the fandom for that anymore, rest in peace coma au you were genuinely wonderful. i'm not opposed to the idea of collab fics but they always feel like a lot of work and i'm way way way too anxious to approach anyone about them.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

ah hell. i dunno. do i have to pick one?? like right in this moment i'd say locklyle and they've been here a hot minute (like. ten years almost) but i don't really have A Favorite I'd Choose Over Anyone Else.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

mm. penumbra anastasia au haunts me. i want it out of my wips folder. also wild geese is probably never getting finished ever. i do think i'll get split ends done eventually but that one's taking forever. as for ones not posted, well, rip the gospel tent au. i might try to convert it to a short story but lord. i don't know. and don't get me started on the final girl au or the empty grave possession au. throwing myself out a window. they'll never be done i'll never be free.

16. What are your writing strengths?

uh. i honestly don't know anymore. knowing exceedingly tedious canon details to the point where i can make all sorts of metaphors and allusions relevant to said canon? i really couldn't say. introspection i guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

yes. next question

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i have an overbearing anxiety that i will fuck it up somehow since i am a monolingual american loser. if i ever did need to i would definitely see if there's any native speakers willing to help translate or whatever bc i am not relying on google translate for that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

like liv, lord of the rings. i still have my first fanfic btw. it's written on tinkerbell notebook paper.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

it changes. if i were to be completely objective (or as close as i can get), completely removing my emotions on fandom from the equation, prob without anesthetic. because i think i constructed it just right. being a dirty little subjective, right now i think it's three's a crowd or swallowing jupiter or the swing of things. they're all wonderfully unhinged.

[whatwewrotepodcast]

WIP Questionaire Tag Game

Thanks @jackiezenauthor for the tag!

On a bit of a The Second Coming run so I'll use that for this.

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

The first chapter? Haha so this is probably the 4th or 5th time we've re-written/re-done this story. The first version was about 120 hand written pages long, spewed out over a few weeks in high school. We then re-wrote the whole thing, it wound up being 150k+ words so we decided to turn it into a trilogy, and that's where we're at. But we very much started at the beginning, with chapter

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Bleeding out by Imagine Dragons. ID is pretty much the soundtrack for this story, and was the main music we listened to while we wrote it and so they're always indelibly tied together in my mind. But this song sort of sums up the vibe really well to me.

3. Who are your favorite characters you've made? Why?

Belial is definitely a fan favourite for us. He was never really meant to be a main character - he was a side character! He was just an NPC! But somehow he ended up becoming vital to the story and then the next thing you know he's a POV character. Belial is such a great character because he's so complex. He's a good person! Kind of! But he isn't afraid to do what needs to be done and if that means doing things that aren't so savoury, he's willing to do that. He's loyal to those he thinks are deserving, he's brave when he thinks it'll make a difference. He's also extremely hot.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fanbase for your story?

Hmmm interesting. I mean, I don't love the comparison but fans of Cassandra Clare would probably enjoy TSC because it does have similar feels and themes. Potentially also Laini Taylor? Anyone who likes modern fantasy? Maybe Good Omens fans too, though we're not nearly as funny haha.

5. What has been your biggest struggle while writing?

Oh my god the editing. Honestly we are in editing hell right now and it's just excruciating. It's so disheartening to have to throw big chunks of writing in the bin and have to write the scene again because it wasn't quite right.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

There aren't really, which is kinda weird because we're both huge animal lovers.

7. How do your characters get around?(ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Mostly in Merry's beat up old Kia.

8. What part of your wip are you working on?

Currently doing editing/rewrites on Anarchy, book two of the trilogy, a rough draft of which we spat out during a writing holiday back in 2020 and haven't had time to get back to.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

We definitely have a couple of good ships, lots of action and great fight scenes, but I think (hope?) the characters are what people will enjoy. We want people to love our characters, to want to know more about them, to spend more time with them.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

Honestly, publication with this one! We really think it has the chops to go the distance, we just need to find someone willing to take a chance on us. Or, for our podcast to get popular enough that we have a chance to self pub. Whatever works!

Tagging @illarian-rambling @cssnder and @xenascribbles