#I don't know how to write accents

[livecrow]

You've been kidnapped by the local butcher and he convinces you he's going to fucking eat you.

Dark!Ghost x fat fem reader drabble

CWs: rape, dehumanization, gaslighting, bondage, undiscussed kink(?), animal play(?), threats and talk of cannibalism but no actual cannibalism. The details are gone into extensively, but it’s all a game to Ghost and he never intends to follow through on any of the threats. 

(A tidied up and extended ramble I subjected @391780 to on anon. Inspired directly from their post where Butcher!Simon draws a diagram of beef cuts on you.)

_____________________________________________________________

It’s pretty immediately obvious he’s a murderer. He’s probably a serial killer for all you know.

In reality, Simon doesn’t consider himself a serial killer, despite his body count. He’s just someone who doesn’t have qualms dealing with nuisances. He’s a retired vet, after you’d killed enough people, what’s a few more? 

No, his kills were just business, practical. They were men who made the mistake of getting in his way, of being inconvenient. Most, anyway—there’s at least one or two whose only crime was being an especially annoying cunt. Sometimes, some people  “jus’ need killin’”. 

As a butcher, he does find the implication funny, but no, he’s not eaten any of the scum he’s off’ed. “Don’t serve ‘em up to customers, neither”. After all, Simon’s got far higher standards than that. They weren’t even fit for dog food and he has a reputation to uphold. No one can compete with his quality. 

No, you’re nothing like them. You’re special.

Never in his life had he seen a prettier creature—and you’re absolutely prime. He’s salivating just looking at you, plump and oh so soft. He can see it in the way your skin wobbles gently as you move about. Simon couldn't find a straight line on you. And he’s looked. He’s been transfixed watching you, aching.

You live your life meandering obliviously, no brand in sight, not even a tag on your ear. He's surprised no one else snatched you up. Poor thing left to fend for itself ‘s cruel. Nothing else to it. 

Wrangling you was simple, it’s not like your large form actually offered you anything towards your defense. It was easy, really. Your lack of instincts was staggering, it was even more shocking that you lasted this long, he almost couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

You were clueless to the danger, even when it was directly in front of you, it only endeared you to him. Your eyes roved over him, not paying him any mind, just carrying on about your undoubtedly inane business. Only when he was on you and it was too late did you start to kick up a fuss.

The look of panic on your face was just priceless. All this crying and babbling nonsense like, “What are you doing?!” and “Stop!”.

Simon's main concern was not damaging you too much, he was careful. Just a single huge bicep around your neck and any fight you had seemingly evaporated with fright. You're bent over in a headlock, his grip as rigid as a pillory, but he’s not applying enough pressure to actually choke you. You’re just forced helplessly to come along or be dragged.

Not that it would have mattered if you were too wild to be led, he would simply tighten his hold, and allow up a quick nap. He’d pull out the dolly, load up the truck and be on his way.

On the big stainless steel work table the metal stings you even through your clothes. Unfortunately for you, even that scant protection doesn't last. The sight of the shears was enough to paralyze you again, and with a handful of strategic snips, Simon rips your last vestiges of humanity from you. All your skin transforms to gooseflesh, shivering on the table, but your nipples is where his roaming gaze finally settles.

He’ll have to remember to adjust the heat later. After all, “‘s a bit early to start chillin’ you”, he’d chuckle. You were a bit of silly thing, he thought. Maybe it’d be a minute till you’d actually catch on.

You're his little prize. Simon will coddle you, give you plenty of softness and warmth. You’ll not want for blankets, pillows, and other such treats, but not a stitch of clothing will ever touch your skin again. There would be no hiding your nakedness.

“Clothes? Clothes ‘re for people, what y’ need clothes for?” he scoffed. You don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s a question, because he doesn’t want you to answer. A dog doesn’t answer “who's a good boy?” does he? 

He’s measuring you, jotting things down. You think distantly that the pencil looks puny in his fist. While he's at it, he's feeling and squeezing every inch of you. You’re groped and prodded like some saran wrapped package of beef at the grocery store.

Only when you think there’s finally a reprieve, you’re being hogtied. You’re trussed up in practically half a roll of twine, fat bulging between the strands, desperate to escape its bite. Simon says it looks good on you, can’t resist taking one of your new little rolls between his fingers, giving you a teasing pinch. You struggle of course, but the terrifying man commands you to “Settle”, says the only thing your fussing will get you is rope burn. 

He claps you on the ass affectionately, assuring you that the scratchy string is only temporary. He knows a guy for leather, does good work. All hand stitched. Simon will have a proper harness made for you. Something with a lot of d-rings. It will be more comfortable for you and he can situate you how he likes with minimal bruising or chaffing. 

As he admires your skin, he’ll remark offhandedly that he’ll have to ""'ave somethin' from you" too. He’s not usually one to bother, but it’d be a travesty to waste hide like yours. Couldn’t find more supple could y’? He hasn’t decided what’ll be yet, he’ll need to do some maths to figure out how much material you'll make. Behind his mask and the façade of impassivity, he savors your reaction. That’d be about the first time your consciousness flees from you.

Simon will lay it on thick, praise how "well-marbled" you are. Delectable. So plump and well-fed, you can't blame him for any of this, really. He'll say something about kobe beef and taking good care of you. He’ll massage you daily, knead every inch of you between his huge oiled hands. He'd take his time, temple t' toes. You couldn’t get a knot in a muscle if you tried.

Your more delicate bits don’t escape his tender ministrations either. He takes painstaking work in rubbing your insides down with thick fingers, wringing orgasms from you until you're limp and still as the rest of the meat in his shop. Says it’s good for the flavor, will make you even sweeter.

It’s all completely horrifying, it has to be a nightmare. He says all this so casually, like he’s telling you the time of day. This man is truly completely deranged. 

His hands are always on you, it’s never fucking ending. He's taken it upon himself that you never “exert” yourself and you have no choice in the matter. Bastard won’t even let your hands free to eat or bathe. He "grooms" you. Brushes your hair, trims your nails, cleans your teeth, brushes, lathers, rinses, dries, moisturizes your skin. It’s humiliating and you hate every second of it.

The juxtaposition is too much, the horror and absurdity of it all. All the restraints and manhandling, your looming demise, while insisting on soft surfaces for you, water temperature just right, food carefully curated and cut up just so. He won’t let anything happen to spoil the meat.

He doesn’t spare any expense on your “feed” either. You eat what he eats, might as well be eating off his plate. Albeit simple, it’s good food, you don't see a point in denying it. It's fresh and flavorful and to no one’s surprise it includes a lot of meat. Always from his shop of course, only the best for you.

He’ll bring out some new parcel every night for dinner, unfolding the brown paper wrapping, holding up to you to admire his work. “‘S a ribeye”. He goes on about the marbling, the even color of the meat. “Couldn’t find fresher” he’d say, "was only jus' bleedin' this mornin'".

You’re his captive audience. There’s nothing else you can do but warily watch him make dinner, even if seeing a blade in his hand gives your heart palpitations. Steak, sautéed mushrooms, jacket potatoes, roasted broccoli.

You’ve long since stopped fighting him when it comes to meals. Because it can always get worse. After being bent over on the floor, forced to eat off a dish without the use of your hands, you’d resigned yourself to the fact that eating off his fork was a sufferable compromise. Still, if he’s in a mood he won’t even allow that. You'll eat off his fingers, and he’ll laugh at your expense and chide you when you inevitably “make a mess”. 

The food was prepared, but this time the kitchen knife didn’t leave his grasp. It wasn’t a steak knife. It was too big and not serrated, but that didn’t seem to bother Simon. It certainly bothered you. Its presence loomed like a guillotine in your peripheral.

He feeds you bites between his own. Every mouthful and he looks so pleased. You desperately missed his mask at meal times. At least then you couldn’t see his smug fucking face.

On the plate the steam billows and curls. The meat gives easily under your molars, practically melts in your mouth. Hot and rich and juicy, it’s basted in butter, with garlic cloves and sprigs of rosemary, seasoned with cracked peppercorn and flakey sea salt. It’s a touch rarer than you’d like. 

You wish you were capable of escaping the horror of it all for even a second, pretend you were anywhere else, with anyone else.

Simon punctuated his first bite with a low rumble of approval, watching you with those dark, cavernous eyes. He’d continued in that way, a man content in silence.

”...you'll taste better.”

He waited until your last bite to say it, maybe that was mercy on his part. The meat transformed in your mouth, became sinewy and bitter. You couldn’t swallow, and went to spit it out. But he expected that apparently, was on you in a second. Giant rough hand sealed over your lips, practically enclosing the bottom half of your face, smooshing your cheeks up into your eyes. 

“Chew.”

It takes longer than usual, but you try to obey. His hand hasn’t moved from your mouth.

“Swallow.”

His eyes move from yours to your neck, his thumb grazing your throat lightly, tracing the bite’s trajectory as you force it down. His eyes are back on you then. 

With Simon’s free hand he deftly pierces the last drippy morsel off the plate with the knife, popping it between his scarred lips. The hand still on you moves, migrates to cup your jaw, gradually starting to squeeze. You don’t have any fight left and open before it becomes painful.

Fear paralyzes you again, when he brings the knife towards you.

The movement is slow, as if he’s actually concerned about frightening you. He’s holding it longwise, pointed off to the side.

Then it’s on your tongue.

He drags the flat of the blade’s length across the trembling muscle, leisurely, only moving it away to flip it and clean the other side, myoglobin discarded on your tongue 

“They’ll say ’m ‘spoilin’ ‘er rotten’. Eatin’ off my own plate, sleepin' in my own bed, warm under my roof. Keepin’ you safe indoors. Such a sweet, tame thing, are you’?”. He strokes your cheek, wiping at a drip at the corner of your mouth with a thumb before popping that in his mouth too.

Whenever Simon’s put up enough with your smart mouth, he enjoys the look of your wide wet eyes and your trembling lips stretched around a padded ring gag.

The sounds you make when gagged are special, little nonsense noises, almost like you're trying to talk like a person would. Sweet, pitiful sounds. He also loves when wet, choked sobs that cascade out of your open mouth, forcing you to drool. “You’re so messy, sweet’eart. Nose runnin’, too.” Says you're leaking from practically every hole. Eyes, nose, mouth, cunt.

Sometimes, you might almost be fooled into thinking he feels sorry for you in those moments when you're hyperventilating and hysterical, or wailing so mournfully. He always hushes you when you're crying, pets and hold you, dries your face, as if he’s not the cause of your tears. Despite how much Simon adores the taste of them, adores the soft jingling of the little cow bell tied ‘round your throat when your whole body quivers with sobs, the stress will sour the meat. He’ll say as much, but surprisingly it doesn’t help calm you down.

If it was necessary, he's not opposed to sedation as he's done the research to find one that won't affect your flavor. But most of the time, his solution to your despair is yet another thorough fucking, dopamine to counteract the stress.

Simon forces the orgasms out of your body as easily as he forces his cock into it, you're utterly helpless to stop either. His livelihood is working with his hands and he’s damn good at it. When all's said and done and you're spent, he’ll lightly chastise you for working yourself up, for fussing.

He loves the heft of you in his hands, weighs your heavy tits in his palms, grips your ample belly. Simon can't resist taking mouthfuls of you into his mouth, worrying your supple fat with his incisors. Your tits, ass, thighs, belly, back fat, hell, your double chin. It doesn't matter, any and every roll. You're always afraid he might be getting impatient, that he’ll take a bite out of you, but he never does. Simon says he's just sampling, maybe tenderizing you a bit. 

His favorite taste of yours is still between your legs. He has you thank him for being so careful there. Past you inner thighs and plump mons, the pressure of his teeth yields, feeling barely a graze. 

He likes putting mirrors in front of you, says he wants you to see how lovely you are. Your hands are clipped together, chain snagged in one of the meathooks, just low enough that you don’t strain your shoulders or quite have to stand on your tiptoes.

He directs you to watch, popping the lid off of a permanent marker with a squeak.

He maneuvers you this way and that as he works, dragging the marker down your body. His lines are surprisingly clean considering his canvas is such a pliant, organic shape. Hand are as steady as a surgeon. The marker tickled terribly on skin, the ethanol smell burning your nose, making it hard to think.

It only took a minute to recognize what he was doing. Your skin itches under the felt tip. You flail, trying desperately to smear it, to muss his work, but the ink dries too quickly.

Simon wouldn't let you keep your eyes closed, so in that moment you were grateful for the onslaught of tears blurring your vision somewhat.

That day, he showed you all your different cuts, as if you cared, as if you were together enough to pay attention.

Chuck, rib, loin, sirloin, rump, round, flank, plate, brisket, shank.

He tells you which are his favorite. Tells you which of his mates he’ll have over to enjoy you, ponders what pieces he’ll think they’ll like best. How to cook different cuts to get the best effect, that some cuts are naturally tougher and have to be cooked slowly, while the other cuts are tender and fatty, can be cooked at a higher temperature, quicker. 

From the very beginning, he’s referenced the “Big Day”.

He’ll ask if you're excited over the shinnnnk of a knife against a whetstone. Simon always keeps his tools in order, sharpened expertly, but he thinks he'll polish them up extra shiny for the occasion. To a mirror finish, so you can see yourself. You're so beautiful, it'd be a cryin' shame for you to miss it. 

It’s been months now you’ve been with him, and the day never comes. 

...

You didn't dare question it.

But if you did, Simon would just chuckle, amused that you're so eager. Maybe he'll say that he decided he wants some milk from you instead.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do

[sunspinecity]

50$ to print 10 of the same skin has always been so insane to me. you're telling me it's 50$ to print....only 10.....of a single skin....and that's normal. And not only is that normal, that's what's required for a skin shop. where ppl may not even sign up for 10 runs. and then you're left in the shitter with at minimum 1-4 skins nobody wanted (not to mention if some people decide not to pay afterward) that you have to just pray someone finds & buys on the auction house. And it's 50$. Uhuh. And then that's just the artist's issue and fault and we're gonna blame them instead of the fact that a 10 print run costs as much as groceries.

[13eyond13]

one of the lesser talked about fun things about intentionally reading more books is finding new stuff to be a bit of a hater about tbh

[roseofdarkness0]

Just snippets and random incorrect quotes that been stuck in my head and I had to take them out Sooooooo enjoy? I will have small snippet explain au as a context clue bc I'm not that evil yet.

Edit: Forgot to link it earlier but Poly Ship Au incorrect quotes Au

Married au: Gov and Cali are secretly married and no one knows but them.

~•~

Cali: I want a divorce

Gov: And I want those meetings to not derail into chaos but here we are

Utah: the only one who heard them and questioning his life rn

~•~

Cali: Have you seen our marriage certificate I nee-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

Gov: currently setting the certificate on fire GOOD LUCK RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT

Cali: YOU SETTING THE LAWN ON FIRE YOU IDIOT

Utah, who just wanted to go out to his car:

Utah: shuffles back inside

~•~

Gov: casually taking four stairs at a time

Cali: falling behind, taking two stairs at a time Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

~•~

after their old rings either get lost or damaged

Cali: I made this wedding band for you.

Gov: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Cali: You don’t have to wear it...

Gov: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

~•~

Cali: If you don't stop talking, I'm going to jump out of that window.

Gov: ...We're on the ground floor.

Cali: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

Utah, who just wanted to finish the meeting with gov and go to his wife:

~•~

Cali: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Gov: How can you still say that?

Cali: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

~•~

After Penn and Virginia accidentally find the two making out in gov office

Cali: Are you mad?

Gov: No.

Cali: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

~•~

Cali: You saved me! Why?

Gov: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

~•~

Gov: holds a gun out to Cali

Cali: I-I don't believe in guns.

Gov: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

~•~

Gov: Who hurt you?

Cali: snorting What, do you want a list?

Gov: ...Yes, actually.

~•~

Second a meeting with all the states finishes

Cali: I’m going to hell.

Gov: Probably.

Cali: I'll pick you up?

Gov: nodding Carpool.

States: ????????

Utah: I fReAkinG KnEw IT

~•~

Nevada blinked and watched with increasingly worried expression as Utah muttered to himself, staring at the wall in his office that was covered with scribbled on pages, some photos and a lot of red string.

"Utah??? You good there?"

"Whole week!"

"...w-whole week what?" Nevada flinched as dishevelled and frankly crazy looking Utah turned towards him, pinning him to the spot with just his crazied gaze alone.

"I had to suffer through two of them setting lawns on fire, flirting right in front of me instead of finishing the meetings and Gov mysteriously coming back covered in red substance back to the statehouse in the middle of the night. Heck!!!! WE ALL HEARD THEM FLIRT AN HOUR AGO IN THE MEETING ROOM!" Utah turned back to his conspiracy wall, shaking with what seemed to be explosive cocktail of tiredness and anger "AND YET EVERYONE DISMISSED IT?!"

"W-well to be fair it's hard to imagine-"

"PENNSYLVANIA AND VIRGINIA WERE COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM MAKING OUT JUST FEW DAYS AGO"

"They could have been joking?"

"WHY THE F U C K WOULD THEY JOKE ABOUT THAT?!" Utah look ready to commit murder and Nevada didn't really want to give him ideas on who to murder considering there was only two of them in the room right now.

"Right, you may be right but look at it that way, you are sleep deprived and twitchy enough your wife would replace you wit-" he stopped the joke seeing Utah eyelids twitch violently"-nevermind, point is how about I drive you back to your houses you can relax and nap there instead of being stuck here going a bit cray cray?"

Utah seemed to be considering Nevada offer for a bit before stiffly nodding. Without another word he shoved most of his stuff into his bag and approached Nevada jerkily nodding at him to lead the way.

Cheering oh the inside for the small victory. Nevada confidently strolled out of Utah office just to stop in his track and blink rapidly at

"California? What the fuck are you wearing?"

"Hm? Oh this old thing? I thought the red dress may go well with those shoes and because it's a dinner I matched it with that fancy-"

"Not what I meant-but good pairing, I would have went with different eyeliner but it does work for you-I meant more like why?"

"Oh that's easy, diner with husband"

Nevada didn't need to turn around to be able to know that Utah looks 5 seconds away from either murder or complete break down.

"Uh huh like husband as in friend and their husband or?"

".. I mean like my husband, I haven't spent half my salary on making our rings for nothing you know?"

Nevada blinked as he finally spotted the wedding ring adoring California finger. Before he could question California or himself further there was loud honk coming from outside.

"That must be Gov! I see you two tomorrow!" California winked and went off downstairs, not one to miss the drama Nevada dragged poor Utah after him with one hand whilst in the other he brandished his phone just in time to film Florida do a spit take at Texas face who didn't even acknowledge the scalding coffee as he seemed to have several personal revelations about himself at once.

Louisiana was halfway through drinking to avoid responsibility but choked on his daiquiri when the door opened to reveal handsomely dressed Gov who just looked unimpressed by the chaos happening in front of him. He looked ready to reprimand them but was successfully distracted by California planting a kiss on his cheek which seemed to set of another round of chocked noises, wheezes and rapid slams to the back.

"Cmon we have reservation to get to and I'm not wasting the hours I spend putting the outfit together" Cali tugged on Gov tie to get him back outside.

"If we miss it I will pull few strings-"

"Nope, no string pulling cmon off we go, bye guys!" with a quick wink and a wave California managed to drag Gov outside and towards the car.

"...."

". . ."

Louisiana coughs again, clearing his throat and wincing at the daiquiri he had wasted, patting Florida when he came over and buried his flaming red face into Louisiana shoulder.

Utah just looked very smug and vindicated. Without another word he went to his car to finally get back to his home.

[stabbynunchuckss]

DAY SEVEN OF THE WHEEL OF WHUMP

Today's prompt is:

Touch starved (holy shiiiit)

-----

Ivan reached out a hand, as if to pat the boy on the shoulder, but as soon as he was within reach, the kid flinched, an arm raising defensively.

"Hey- Kid, hey, I'm not gonna hurt you." Ivan's voice was softer than usual, but kept the same firmness. The boy met his eyes, but looked wary. Finally, he lowered his arm.

"Sorry, sir," the boy mumbled. "I- I just..."

"You got nothin' to apologise for, it's alright. Can I..." He reached out again, hand hovering over the boy's shoulder.

"Yes, s- sir." His eyes flicked to Ivan's hand, then back to his face.

"You can say no if you want, kid, I'm not gonna force you." But he didn't move, so Ivan nodded. "Alright, then."

His hand rested on the boy's shoulder, slowly moving down to rub his back in what he thought was a comforting motion. "This okay?"

The kid's expression has softened at the touch, and he was almost leaning into it. This was as relaxed as Ivan had seen him, and he smiled.

"See, kid?" he said gently. "Not gonna hurt you."

[yandere-daze]

I only realized like a few weeks ago that all these years, I've been using the wrong key to type apostrophes on my pc and now trying to change that habit is so difficult. I always thought some of the spacing looked weird but I somehow never noticed that I was just using the wrong key (the ` instead of ')

[lasserbatsu]

I had the impulse to want to do this.

[ladyseidr]

i'm literally trying to figure out why my brain decided my jeremy has a new jersey accent 🧍

[cangrellesteponme]

I was initially going to write the mey rin essay in really formal language with great structure and concise parts that get to the point (because that's how I write university essays) but turns out all of my brainrot fucking leaves the moment I get serious. so the essay will simply read like you're in the bathroom with me as I have just pulled you away from a party to tell you about my black butler special interest. which is still more formal than how most people would speak (and way more structured than my tumblr posts) but I'd say it's. dungeon master level. got a few fancy phrases and dramatic word choices but that's about it.

(it's like. 1/5 done don't get too hyped)

[cactosaurio]

Genshin (schrodinger's) hot take, it might be, it might be not

The world NPCs have a much stronger and eccentric character voice in their spanish translations, even without voicelines, than in english. I found out that so many of the weirdos I love sound bland otherwise.

You guys might be missing out.

[hilliska]

great, now that made me wanna make a podfic

[morhath]

need that word count so I went back to working on a very old wip iykyk

[p0rchc0ll4ps3]

Was nice and calm and set to go to sleep but then . I remembered .... my newly acquired meow meows...........

[lokiinmediasideblog]

.

[bismuth-209]

in the Netherlands/Dutch the majority of name genderings are the same, and there's a lot of overlap in what names are considered normal, and most of the names that look foreign to the average english speaker i think would still be correctly gendered just by vibes

with the exception of Jan apparently being a name that girls can have in anglo countries while here it's the most basic man name, equivalent to John, literally

and Anne being traditionally a man's name, although i was confused to find that out as my childhood best friend was called Anne and she was very much a girl, but an Anne over 70 is probably a man

but those are the only real exceptions i can think of, most of the vibes are the same

anyways, my dad's name is André, and apparently Russian native speakers instictually call him Andrea, because Andre sounds like a woman's name to them, and Andrea is more masculine, which is entirely opposite to how we do it

also a gendered suffix that very occasionally shows up in Dutch is -é being masculine and -ee being feminine, Renee is a woman and René is a man, and a prostitué is a male full service sex worker and a prostituee a female one

identical pronunciations btw. -ee and -é cannot be distinguished by sound

"Why do all gender-bent characters have names ending in -a, that's such a fanfic trope" buddy, the "girl names end in -a" trope is so old that JRR Tolkien invented a Hobbitish dialect of Westron in which "-a" is a masculine name affix, then turned around and "localised" those names to end in "-o" in the published text (e.g., Bilba > Bilbo, Maura > Frodo, etc.) so they wouldn't sound feminine to Anglophone readers.