#I don't know how people talk and interact
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dappled-sunlight-dap · 2 hours ago
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AO3 author here. I don't normally blog about fandom issues (or anything really) but it hit me close to home so I figured I'd share my two cents.
This actually happened to me! I put a work on hiatus for roughly nine months for multiple reasons, but a big part of choosing that one to shelve for a bit was because it got the least engagement.
I WRITE for myself, don't get me wrong. Everything I post is what I want to see. That's why I write fic! But I POST for community interaction. I wanna talk to folks about my fandom and get all excited and freak out with somebody. Otherwise, what's the point of making it public? Why not keep it to myself?
When you post and get no engagement, it can make you question why you're posting if you're getting the same result as you would from keeping it to yourself. It also makes one feel like slaving over it to make it as good as can be is too much effort for no return - why should I bother making it look nice when I can post a sloppy rush job and get the same result? It's also easy to lose confidence in yourself - do people like it? Hate it? Who knows? And it's just depressing and lonely. Fandom is a community!
I was a new author when I had this dilemma, and at the time I didn't realise that this was just a normal thing, so I took it personally and lost my confidence. That got combined with unrelated problems until I figured the fic was just too much trouble to deal with. I only posted for it again last month because a mutual told me they liked it and that made me happy.
Now that I'm more experienced, I know not to expect much engagement because that's simply how fandom is these days. I happily post my stuff knowing that probably nothing will happen, and I'm okay with that now. I'm just happy to post it! It's more peaceful, in a way - but that doesn't mean it shouldn't change. I can understand not leaving comments - maybe you're anxious/shy, or you're a guest on a fic where only registered users can comment. However, there is no excuse with kudos. Giving kudos is literally as easy as pressing a button. If you cannot be bothered to press a single button for a fic you love, why should an author bother to give you that fic in the first place? We will not know you are there otherwise.
Also, I've seen some folks say they don't leave comments because they're afraid the author will find it weird or get offended or that they feel like they have to post an essay. No! We LOVE comments! We love ALL comments! I have a reader who posts mostly heart emojis on every single chapter of another longfic of mine and I treasure every single one of those comments! This person takes the time to leave something that tells me they're having a good time, and it makes me happy to have somebody to engage with and freak out about a ship with! That is what fandom should be!
And every time they leave another string of heart emojis, a fire lights within me because somebody is enjoying it and telling me about it. I'm happy, they're happy, we're HAPPY!
What I'm trying to say is: fandom is about community. If there's no audience acknowledgement, there's no point in sharing in the first place. So tell your favourite authors how much you like their work! Press that kudos button! Leave that comment, even if it doesn't contain a single word! Hell, just leave a keyboard smash! They will love you for it, no matter how small the gesture is! And you'll love it even more when they make more of that work you cherish! Everybody wins!
"You have to become comfortable with the fact that most people who enjoy your fic will never bother to kudos or comment on it."
Shockingly, I am comfortable with this fact. Lack of kudos or comments doesn't bother me.
That doesn't mean it shouldn't change.
If you enjoy a fic, leave a kudos or a comment.
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greenwitchfromthewoods · 1 day ago
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a white stone. l Joel Miller
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Summary: it was a hard time for you
Warnings: angst, lots of tears, lots of grief, tw: miscarriage, loss of a child, mourning, unwise decisions, one infected, depressing thoughts, risky behavior, Ellie is there, trying to deal with grief, and finally some hope
A/N: I'll be honest, your reaction to the previous chapter really touched me. my heart was breaking while writing this, but I wanted it to be there. I promise they'll be happy. I'm not a monster after all. but I was moved when I saw your comments and when I could interact with you, it was really nice. thank you for being here and reading.
your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
short stories from life. [masterlist]
"Joel, I'm so sorry for your loss... You didn't deserve this." Ann's soft voice reached his ears. Her eyes were shining with tears, Joel knew that you had grown very close. "I wish I could help you, I would like to talk to her, but I don't think it would be good, considering…my condition."
His gaze followed her hand, which lightly touched her rounded belly clearly visible under her dress.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." he replied, his voice a bit hoarse, but he tried to sound nice. He flinched when Ann touched his arm.
“If you need anything, tell me. Shane and I will do whatever it takes.” She pulled a small package out of her bag and handed it to him. “I made her these cookies. She really liked them last time. Can you give them to her?”
Joel nodded and took the gift from her. Ann didn't hold him back any longer and quickly left, he knew she had shed a few tears. Maria looked similar when she came to him in the morning. She offered to help him with the laundry. Tommy must have told her about the blood stains Joel had found, she had wanted you to avoid stumbling upon them again when you got home.
He didn't have the strength to get involved in the discussion and let her take everything she thought she needed to wash.
Ellie was much quieter too. She made sure you came back from the clinic that evening and promised to tidy up the house, make you tea or something. She wanted to be useful.
It was already dark when you and Joel set off home together, in silence. Just like a few weeks earlier, when you had gone in with your heart in your sleeve to find out you were pregnant, at this point you had both returned broken, not knowing how to cope with the loss. Dr. Morris had told you to rest, so your hiding in the bedroom was understandable. But the days passed and nothing changed.
"She needs time." he explained to Ellie and wanted to add "Like all of us." but he stopped himself.
But then something strange happened. He could clearly hear the creaking of the door, quiet footsteps upstairs. It was Ellie who would sneak into your bedroom, spending hours there sometimes.
"Sometimes we talk, sometimes we're silent." she said when Joel asked her about it one evening. "You know, she blames herself for all of this... She doesn't say it." she added, seeing Joel's worried look. "But I can see it in her eyes."
Your eyes. That was the saddest thing about all of this. Joel had the impression that life had disappeared from them. You have become a body. Still warm, still with a beating heart, but empty inside. He didn't know what to do about it.
"Remember... You once told me that it's not time that heals wounds, it's people. Can't you help her with that? I mean... You love each other, right? I know you're suffering too, but somehow you're coping."
Joel was barely coping with it, really. He did what he could - worked at the stables, helped with renovations, came home to see you were still there. Tommy would sometimes try to talk to him, but he was avoiding it more and more.
"I'm sorry, Joel." Your quiet voice made him look up from the book he was reading in bed and look at you. You came out of the bathroom, your hair still wet, your shirt sticking to your damp body.
"What are you apologizing for, darling?" he asked anxiously.
You folded your arms nervously across your chest, your eyes glazed over. He wanted to get up and take you in his arms, but you looked like a scared animal and he knew he couldn't do that.
"I'm sorry I let you down." you finally choked out, a voice filled with tears "I think this is my punishment, you know. I was so afraid to accept the idea of ​​pregnancy, I was so afraid of all this... What if this child felt it? What if it was because of this?"
"Don't say that." he interrupted you, getting out of bed and taking a few steps towards you "We were both terrified. I know you're in pain, but..."
"You don't know how I feel!" you sobbed "You have no idea!"
He gulped looking at you with pain "I think I know..."
Then it hit you. Joel really knew what you felt, and he had lived with this pain for much longer. Tears flowed down your cheeks and you covered your mouth with your hand to stop the loud sob that escaped your throat.
"And I gave you this pain again..." you choked out, feeling your throat burning.
Warm hands grabbed your face, Joel directed it towards himself. The brown eyes that stared at you were so gentle, so good that you wanted to drown in their depths.
"I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, but I don't know the words to describe it. You gave me more than I deserved, baby. And I know you're hurting now, I can't promise you it'll be easy, but you're not alone in this. You have me, Ellie, Tommy and Maria, you have Ann and Shane and..."
He didn't finish, because you pulled away and snuggled into his chest, hugging him with all your might. Tears soaked his shirt, but for a moment he hoped he saw the seed of life in your eyes.
Quick footsteps echoed through the stables and Joel glanced over his shoulder to see Shane approaching him. The man nodded in greeting.
"Look, I don't know if this is a good idea, but if she thinks she can handle it..." he began, Joel quickly interrupted.
"What are you talking about?" he asked, putting down the brush.
"You don't know anything?" Shane raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "It's a good thing I came to you first." Your name left his lips. "She came to me with the idea of ​​going back to patrolling. The doctor said there were no health issues, but..."
"You can't be serious." Joel mumbled. "Yeah, the doctor said she was fine, but... Jesus, I didn't know. Has she been to Tommy about this yet?"
Shane shrugged. "Listen, I respect you Joel. I know you're both having a hard time right now, this loss..." Joel looked down and Shane didn't pursue the matter, but he finished his thought. "I don't know if it's wise for her to go on patrol. Maybe in a few weeks. Sure, I can go with her, I'll keep an eye on her, but still..."
Joel cleared his throat, his brow furrowed. "Thank you for telling me. I'll talk to her."
Shane nodded. They were both silent for a moment, until he finally said the words that had been going through Joel's head. "She wouldn't do anything risky, would she?"
Joel wasn't sure about that. You took it one day at a time. The sun rose and set, and you both tried to find your way around your activities. He could feel you tensing under his touch, but he still hoped it was temporary, that you were still trying to cope with all of this. But going back to patrols? That was something new, and he didn't like it very much.
"I don't know what you mean." you replied when he brought it up after returning home. "I've done it before. Morris said I could go back to my duties."
"And I'm sure you told him everything, right?" Joel sneered, resting his hand on the chair. "About how little you sleep. About how little you eat. Because I know you, and I know that you try to hide what's uncomfortable for you, what hurts you and..."
"Thank you for the psychoanalysis!" you hissed. "You do the exact same thing. You're out for hours, doing God knows what."
"Because you don't want to talk to me! I'm trying to get closer to you, but you've put up barricades." he rubbed his hand over his face, trying to gather his thoughts. “Listen, I won’t stop you. But I want you to know that I don’t think it’s a good idea. I love you, I care about you. If there was some way I could…”
“I’m going on patrol with Shane tomorrow.” You interrupted. “Thank you for your concern, but this is what I want.”
He nodded. There was nothing more he could do.
Was it unwise of you? Maybe. But you wanted to believe that going outside the walls of Jackson would make you feel different. You needed it. The space, the forest, the horizon in front of you. The four walls of the house, Jackson - it was driving you crazy. 
Your thoughts kept circling in similar areas. Joel's touch, once so tender, now irritated you. His watchful gaze was glued to you, but you knew perfectly well that he was looking for an opportunity to break free, to leave the house, to be alone.
You didn't blame him. You guessed that he felt hurt too, maybe even disappointed. He had given you such support at first, but after the loss you weren't sure if he still wanted it. Yes, he had talked about it, but you had a feeling that he was forcing himself to do all this.
Shane stopped and looked around carefully. This was your another joint patrol since you came back and you found yourself in a new region. His behavior tore you away from your thoughts for a moment.
"Is something wrong?" you asked, looking where he was.
"I'm not sure." he mumbled. "Maybe it's a rabbit or some other animal." he glanced at you over his shoulder. "You good?"
"Yeah, we can move on." you replied and you slowly moved forward.
Shane didn't bring up any sensitive topics. He respected your silence, and when you asked a question, he answered, happy that he could occupy your thoughts with something else. You found a rocky ledge that seemed perfect for camping and resting.
"Ann packed something for you." Shane smiled, handing you a small bundle. "I swear, she probably wants to fatten you up."
"I don't mind. I love her baked goods." you replied, sniffing a piece of apple pie with cinnamon.
You ate in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest, inhaling the fresh and clean scent. You offered to wash the dishes in the stream below and slowly went down. The water was pleasantly cool, washing over the mossy stones and washing the remains of food from the plates and cups.
You remembered the river where you first saw Ellie. It was much bigger. But then you met Joel too, your paths connected. Now you were by the river again, and you hadn't been this far from each other for a long time.
"Hey! Hey!" Shane's call tore you from your thoughts, "Watch out, on the right!"
Something was moving quickly in the ferns, panting and hissing. You stood up abruptly and put your hand on the butt of the gun at your side. You stared in that direction. Shane was calling something, but you barely heard him. 
An infected one crawled out of the undergrowth. It looked awful, like it had been here for a long time and nature was slowly trying to take it over. It crawled toward you, sensing its prey, and you...
You couldn't move. You felt the gun under your hand, you knew what you should do, but you just stared at him as if hypnotized. Teeth that could easily bite your throat, tear you apart, kill you and free you from everything that...
A loud gunshot made you jump. Shane was next to you and fired a second shot to make sure. He looked at you with fear and anger.
"That's what I was afraid of!" he growled, "I felt you would do something like that... Jesus!"
"I could handle it." You replied, but he shook his head. He took a few steps trying to gather his thoughts, and then looked at you.
"You and Joel are my friends, we've been through a lot together, but... I can't stand to watch what you're doing to each other," he said, his eyes genuinely concerned. "Listen, I know you're hurting. You've had a lot of bad things happen to you in your life, you didn't deserve them. I also know you're strong, tough, good. And Joel's heart is in the right place, you know. He loves you. He'd give his life for you if you asked him to. And you'd do the same..." he took a few steps towards you and noticed the tears welling up in your eyes. "I won't tell him what happened here. But you need to talk to him. You need to find a way back to each other. Don't let this fucking world take the best of you away."
You saw him on the porch with his guitar, quietly strumming the strings. The setting sun was falling on his face, making his skin seem almost golden. Damn, you had always thought he was handsome, but in that moment you realized it again. A heavy stone fell into your stomach as you thought of the hell you had created for yourselves.
He lifted his head at the sound of your quiet footsteps.
"Joel..." you began quietly.
He put the guitar down and stood up. "I want to show you something," he said. You nodded.
You let him grab your hand and lead you to the back of the house, then a little further to the trees growing on the outskirts. The trees cast long shadows and the sounds of Jackson slowly faded away. You didn't see where Joel was leading you, it was only when you stopped that you noticed.
Under the spreading oak tree you saw a white stone, it was smooth and surrounded by smaller stones like the ones you saw in the stream. Your eyes found some grooves on the surface. Letters or numbers. You let go of Joel's hand and walked closer. The numbers formed a date, and just above it you saw a small carved cross.
You understood.
“When Sarah left, it was like I died while I was alive.” Joel’s voice was quiet and calm, reaching you over the rustling of leaves and the chirping of birds. “I don’t remember much of that time. A black hole. I don’t want you to end up there too, baby, and I can see you’re headed straight for its embrace… I thought if you had a place you could come to when the days were really hard, it might help.”
You turned and looked at Joel, the man you loved, who had done more for you than anyone else. Your eyes stung from the tears that were pressing under your eyelids, you were still surprised that you were still able to cry.
"Did you do it yourself?" you asked. He nodded.
"I thought it might be easier for you... I wish I could take this pain away from you, but I know I can't. But you're not alone... We're in this together, remember?"
He didn't think your little nod would give him such relief. He felt like he could go to you, take you in his arms, hug you and try to soothe this pain. And Joel did it. You hid in his arms, in the mix of sobs he heard your pleas for forgiveness, promises that this time it would be different, that you would be together again.
"I love you so much, baby." he whispered, touching your lips with his, pressing his forehead to yours.
"I love you too."
☆☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @somedayheaven @underneath-the-sky-again @callmebyyournick-name
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4milly · 1 day ago
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make it to morning • jimmy u. 1
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gif credit @punksrhea.
the tales of 2 roommates, and 1 man.
warning: unprotected sex, possessiveness, cheating, fingering, drunk sex, sex tapes, secret-relationships, pillow talk, oral sex (both m and f receiving), sneaky links, exhibitionism, manipulation, (warnings will update as story progresses)
parings: trinity x jimmy uso x malasia (black!oc) (no one is married in this story!)
inspired by @msbigredmachine !!! <3 for this amazing marvelous piece here xoxo ��️
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the music pumped through malasia's body. that mixed with endless counts of reposado shots? wasn't going to end well. she could feel the room beginning to turn. people jumping up and down all over the place, screaming out sexyy red's lyrics, the heat from the club. it was all damn near suffocating
if i don't get out this bitch, i'm going to fucking faint.
"girl, you good?" trinity yelled out above the music, and slightly less drunker than her.
"yea! i-i just need some air." she stumbled out of the section towards the outside. unaware, of trinity behind her.
trinity and malasia were far from best friends. or even friends. it was trinity's birthday, and wanting to be kind, she invited out malasia.
that was their relationship: practical, transactional. their paths rarely crossed in the apartment—trinity worked nights at a high-end restaurant on ocean drive, while malasia designed websites from their tiny dining room table.
they'd established silent routines: trinity made coffee before bed that malasia would reheat in the morning; malasia would wash any dishes before trinity woke up at noon.
the ad had been simple enough: "roommate needed. 2bed/2bath. south beach. $1100/month + utilities." malasia had responded within minutes of seeing it pop up on craigslist, desperate after her ex-boyfriend had decided their five-year relationship wasn't worth continuing—or helping with rent. she'd attached a brief bio, mentioned she was clean, employed remotely, and needed immediate housing. trinity had responded with equal brevity: "apartment tour thursday. 6pm. don't be late."
they'd spent exactly forty-seven minutes together before trinity handed over a key and a list of house rules. rule #7: "don't expect us to be friends."
"you feeling better?" trinity asked now, leaning against the railing. her birthday crown sat crooked on her braids, catching the neon lights from the club sign.
"yeah. just… went too hard." malasia took a long sip of water. "you didn't have to follow me out here."
"i didn't expect you to invite me tonight," malasia admitted, the tequila still loosening her tongue despite the fresh air.
trinity shrugged, "seemed rude not to. we've been living together for almost a month."
"living together" was a generous description for two people who existed in carefully orchestrated shifts to avoid meaningful interaction. malasia had moved to florida for a fresh start—new city, new people,
new malasia.
but so far, her fresh start consisted of zoom calls, takeout for one, and the occasional awkward nod to trinity in their shared hallway...
"well, h-happy birthday," malasia slurred and offered lamely, suddenly aware of how disheveled she must've looked.
trinity studied her for a moment, her expression unreadable in the dim light. "you know, you're nothing like my last roommate."
who? before malasia could ask, even though she could've cared less, jimmy and jey, jimmy's twin brother, busted outside, "damn, there y'all ass is. y'all wasn't gone say yall left out?" jimmy's voice boomed
"we just needed some air," trinity said, straightening her crown and immediately gravitating toward jimmy. his arm snaked around her waist possessively, but malasia couldn't help noticing how his eyes lingered on her—a fraction too long, a shade too...interested.
"you good, asia?" jimmy asked, his voice dropping an octave lower than when he'd addressed trinity. "looking a little unsteady on them heels."
"i'm fine," malasia managed, though the world still tilted slightly beneath her feet.
the tequila was playing tricks with her equilibrium, but she wasn't so drunk that she couldn't recognize the appreciative way jimmy's gaze traveled from her face down to her silver mini dress and back up again
jey cleared his throat. "yo, trin, that dj just announced they doing birthday shoutouts. you might wanna get back in there."
trinity's face lit up. "for real? hell yeah!" she tugged at jimmy's arm. "baby, come on."
but jimmy was still looking at malasia, that slow, deliberate smile spreading across his face—the same smile she'd seen three days ago when he'd "accidentally" brushed against her in the kitchen, his hand grazing the small of her back as he reached for a glass in the cabinet above her head. when he'd comment on her workout clothes as she passed through the living room.
"what about your roomie?" he asked, thumb brushing trinity's hip bone while his eyes remained fixed on malasia. "she don't look too good."
malasia swallowed hard. the way jimmy looked at her made her skin prickle with a confusing mixture of discomfort and something she refused to name. this was trinity's man—trinity who might not be her friend but who had still invited her tonight, who made coffee she could reheat, who had given her a place to live when she'd had nowhere else to go.
"nah—nah, i'm cool. i'm gonna just head back home." malasia had redirected the conversation back to trinity
trinity hesitated, clearly torn between her birthday spotlight inside and the roommate code she pretended not to care about. "you sure? we could all bounce if you're—"
"nah, baby, it's yo night," jimmy cut in, his voice smooth as butter. "i'll take her home. jey can stay with you, make sure you get all 'em birthday shoutouts."
"no no no," malasia quickly started, "i can call an uber or something. you should stay."
"it's cool," jimmy continued, already pulling his keys from his pocket. "i'll come right back. twenty minutes, tops."
malasia hesitated, her mind a fog of tequila and uncertainty. trinity's eyes narrowed slightly, but the pull of birthday attention was stronger than whatever suspicion flickered across her features.
"fine," trinity finally agreed. "but come right back, jimmy. it's my night." she pressed a quick kiss to his lips, her crown tilting precariously.
malasia gave trinity a small smile—part gratitude, part guilt—as jimmy's hand found the small of her back, guiding her toward the parking lot. she could feel the heat of his palm through the thin fabric of her dress, his fingers splayed wider than necessary.
"this way," jimmy said, his voice close to her ear. the parking lot was a maze of luxury cars and valet attendants rushing between them. jimmy's matte black g-wagon sat in a reserved spot near the entrance, gleaming under the streetlights like some predatory animal
he reached around her to open the passenger door, his chest pressing against her back for a moment longer than required. the leather seat was cool against her bare thighs as she slid in, suddenly aware of how high her silver mini dress had risen. she tugged at the hem, but the metallic fabric refused to cooperate, clinging to her skin.
jimmy walked around to the driver's side, his eyes never leaving her as he slid behind the wheel. the interior smelled of expensive cologne and new leather. he started the engine but didn't put the car in drive, instead turning toward her, one arm draped casually over the steering wheel.
"you good, ma? " his eyes traveled slowly from her face down to where her dress had ridden up again, exposing the smooth expanse of her thighs. "that dress straight fire on you."
malasia shifted uncomfortably. "thanks. can we just—i really need to get home."
he finally put the car in reverse, backing out of the space with one hand on the wheel, the other resting dangerously close to her knee. the music came on automatically—something slow and explicit that made the already small space feel even more intimate.
"you gotta man?" jimmy asked as they pulled onto the main road, the club's neon lights fading behind them. his question hung in the air between them, heavier than it had any right to be.
"no," she answered, then immediately regretted it. "i mean—i'm not looking for one either."
jimmy chuckled, a low sound that seemed to reverberate through the luxury car's interior. "everybody looking for something, asia." the way he said her nickname—drawing out the syllables—made her skin prickle, "good as you look? somebody fucked up."
at a red light, his eyes drifted to her legs again. "where's your dress from? it's cute, ma." his eyes flicked down to her thighs, his fingers tapped against the leather steering wheel in rhythm with the bass-heavy music.
"some boutique on lincoln road," she mumbled, tugging at the hem again. the dress had seemed perfect when she'd tried it on—sexy but not too revealing. now it felt like shrink wrap under jimmy's gaze.
"you must be making good money with them websites trinity says you design."
the mention of trinity's name sent a flush of guilt across malasia's face. trinity might have been just a roommate. but there was something about the way jimmy's eyes kept finding her in the dark that felt like a violation of something unspoken, something that existed beyond friendship. a roommate code. something.
trinity, who had invited her out tonight when she could have left her sitting alone in their apartment. trinity, who despite their careful dance of avoidance, had never been unkind.
"you quiet, ma," jimmy said, his voice cutting through her thoughts. "that tequila got you in yo feelin's or what?"
"just tired," she lied, pressing herself closer to the door.
her phone buzzed in her clutch. a text from her friend jade back in chicago: "how's the birthday party? meet any cute miami guys yet?" the irony made her stomach churn. or maybe that was the tequila. either way, she left the message unanswered, the blue light of her screen illuminating her guilty expression before she clicked it off.
they turned onto her street, the familiar row of low-rise apartment buildings coming into view. malasia had thought this place beautiful when she'd first arrived.
"i should go," malasia said, fumbling for the door handle. "thanks for the ride."
jimmy's laugh was low, teasingly. "damn, ma. i'm just being friendly. trinity told me you ain't got no friends down here yet."
boy, just go the fuck back to the club.
the observation stung with its accuracy. malasia had spent most of her first month in miami hunched over her laptop, building websites for clients who existed only as email addresses and zoom rectangles.
"i really need to go in," malasia repeated, reaching again for the door handle. this time jimmy pressed the unlock button, the doors clicking open.
she pushed the door open, grateful for the rush of humid night air that hit her face. standing proved more difficult than anticipated; the tequila had settled into her legs, turning them to rubber. her silver heels—borrowed from trinity, she realized with another stab of guilt—wobbled beneath her. the sidewalk tilted dangerously.
before she could stop herself, malasia stumbled, ankle twisting. she braced for impact with the concrete, but instead felt strong hands wrap around her waist, steadying her.
"i gotchu, ma. c'mon." jimmy's voice was close to her ear, his breath warm against her neck. his hands were firm on her waist, thumbs brushing against the exposed skin where her dress had ridden up. "let's get you inside, ight?"
malasia steadied herself, painfully aware of how their bodies fit together, of how trinity would see this if she were here. something about the way jimmy held her felt like a betrayal anyway.
"i can walk," she mumbled, pulling away slightly. but jimmy kept one arm firmly around her waist as they made their way to the building's entrance.
"this yo key?" he asked, plucking her clutch from her hands before she could protest. his fingers brushed against hers, the contact sending an unwelcome spark up her arm.
she watched as he rummaged through her things, finding her keys with unnecessary thoroughness. the elevator ride was seventeen seconds of exquisite torture. jimmy stood too close, his cologne filling the small space.
the apartment door clicked open under her key, the familiar darkness greeting malasia like an accomplice. the silence felt heavy compared to the pounding bass they'd left behind at the club.
"just need to get to my room," malasia said, attempting to disentangle herself from jimmy's grasp, but his arm remained firm around her waist.
"let me help you, ma. them shoes 'bout to be the death of yo ass."
finally breaking free of his hold. she kicked off trinity's silver heels, leaving them haphazardly by the door.
malasia made her way to the kitchen, desperate for water, for distance, for sobriety. the clock on the microwave read 1:37 AM—the green digits swimming before her eyes. she reached for a glass, her fingers trembling slightly.
"let me help you with that, ma." jimmy was suddenly behind her, his chest pressed against her back as he reached around her for the glass. his other hand settled on her hip, fingers splaying wide against the metallic fabric of her dress.
"i got it," she insisted, sliding sideways out of his grasp. "you should get back to trinity. her birthday and all."
jimmy leaned against the counter, watching her fill the glass with water.
"what's the rush? trinity got her whole squad there, her brother too. she cool." he stepped closer, taking the glass from her hand and setting it on the counter. "besides, i told her i'd make sure you got home safe. that's what i'm doing."
malasia took a step back. "well, i'm home now. safe and sound."
"you still looking wobbly to me." jimmy's voice dropped lower, feeling her out "might need to make sure you don't fall and hurt yourself."
"i'm good," she insisted, reaching for her water again. "really. you can tell trinity i made it fine."
jimmy chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. "you nervous, asia? don't be like that." his fingers brushed against her hand, attempting to grab it. "we both grown. ain't nothing wrong with two adults getting to know each other better."
"you should go, jimmy." she said, but the words lacked conviction. she knew it. she felt it/
"lemme ask you some, asia." jimmy replied, moving closer.
malasia gripped the counter behind her, the cool granite pressing into her lower back. the kitchen suddenly felt impossibly small, "trinity's your girl. she's back up the club and you need to leave and go back there."
"trinity's my girl, yeah." jimmy nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. "but that don't mean i can't appreciate what's standing right in front of me. do it?" his gaze traveled the length of her body, lingering on the curves the silver dress accentuated. "them little ass gym shorts? this little ass dress you got on...i peeped the way you kept tryna see if i was watchin'. you thought you was slick?"
malasia shook her head, trying to clear the fog of tequila and desire that clouded her judgment. she had to admit. when she first met jimmy, she couldn't deny he was sex on legs. but she buried those thoughts so deep out of respect for trinity.
"trinity—" malasia managed to whisper, but even her roommate's name sounded weak on her lips, a feeble protest against the tide rising between them.
"trinity ain't gotta know," jimmy murmured, his breath warm against her face. he was intoxicating in ways the liquor couldn't touch. "this just between us. just tonight."
she became aware at the touch of jimmy's hand coasting towards upwards. the dress slightly moving upwards bunching up on her waist. asia closed her eyes and leaned against his shoulder.
she'd been rushing to get ready and grabbed the dress at the last minute. it had a built-in slip that made underwear lines show, and she'd made a split-second decision that seemed harmless—
his foot kicked hers outwards, so his hand could drift between her thighs. she let out a small gasp as his hand covered her slicked pussy.
"that's why you was so careful sitting down," he murmured, his lips now close to her ear. "why you kept pulling at this dress all night."
she let out a small whimper, as his fingers circled over her clit. her body responded to his touch like an instrument perfectly tuned to his hands, each brush of his fingers drawing forth reactions she couldn't suppress.
"look at chu'" he whispered pressing kisses onto her neck, "soaking my fingers, while my girls out celebrating her birthday."
the mention of trinity should have been cold water, should have snapped her back to reality. instead, it added a forbidden edge that only heightened her response. jimmy's fingers circled her most sensitive spot, drawing forth a gasp she couldn't contain.
"jimmy," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the sound of their breathing. "we shouldn't—"
we should.
"but we are, mama," he replied, his voice husky with want. he withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his lips and tasting her essence, "goddamn, you taste good as you look. c'mere."
before she could protest further, jimmy bent slightly, wrapping his strong arms around her thighs and lifting her effortlessly. instinctively, her legs wrapped around his waist, the silver dress bunching completely at her hips now, exposing her to the cool air of the apartment and the heat of his body.
"which room is yours?" he asked, his eyes locked on hers, challenging her to stop this, knowing she wouldn't.
malasia hesitated, her last thread of resistance fraying dangerously. "second door on the right," she finally panted, the words feeling like both surrender and victory.
his hands gripped her ass, fingers digging into her flesh with a possessiveness that made her whimper into his mouth; his kisses where deep and consuming.
just like him.
her heart hammered against her ribs with anticipation, as he laid her down on the edge of the bed. her ass nearly just dangling off the edge. her silver dress now nothing more than a metallic band around her waist.
"tell me you whatchu want, mama." he demanded, his voice low and commanding as he unbuckled his belt. the sound of metal clinking sent a shiver down her spine. "say it loud. it's just us."
malasia swallowed hard, caught between desire and the image of trinity that floated at the edges of her consciousness.
trinity in her birthday crown. trinity who had invited her out tonight. trinity whose boyfriend was now standing between her spread legs.
jimmy leaned down, his weight pressing her into the mattress as he captured her mouth in another searing kiss.
when he pushed his pants down his hips, her breath caught audibly. he was magnificent—thick and long, already fully hard. pride gleamed in his eyes at her reaction, at the way her lips parted involuntarily.
he lowered himself between her thighs again, but instead of entering her, he took his length in his hand and began to slide it through her wetness. the sensation sent electric currents racing up her spine—the hot, hard length of him gliding against her pussy, coating himself in her arousal but never pushing inside.
she let out a loud moan, as the base of his dick rubbed against her clit. "fuck," she gasped, her hips rising instinctively to increase the pressure.
"ask me nicely, baby. tell me whatchu want me do, asia." he panted in her ear, pressing hot kisses against her collar bone.
trinity was a thought long gone. the guilt still present in her stomach was intense. she wanted to be rid of it. and jimmy. but how could she when he was laying on top of her about to stretch her right around his dick.
"please.." she finally managed, and regretfully. the words were barely audible.
"please what? hm? what is it?" jimmy pressed further onto her pussy,
"fuck! jimmy, fuck me! oh god—" she let out a gasp as jimmy slid all the way home, burying himself inside, his thick length stretching her in ways that made tears appear at the corner of her eyes. malasia arched beneath him, her body stretching to accommodate his size.
"goddamn," he hissed through clenched teeth, "you tight as fuck."
he established a rhythm that had her clutching at his shoulders, nails digging crescents into his skin.
each thrust drove her further up the bed until he wrapped his arms around her waist in a bearhug, pulling her back to the edge, keeping her exactly where he wanted her. his muscular forearms flexed beneath her, holding her in place as he drove into her relentlessly.
"that's right, mama. just lay back. you taking this dick so good, asia. so. fucking. good." each word was punctuated with a thrust that hit something deep inside her, something that made her curl her toes and arch her back.
her fingers tangled in his close-cropped hair, nails scraping against his scalp as she held on for dear life.
"jimmy," she gasped, as he hit a spot deep inside that made stars burst behind her eyelids. "oh my god—"
he shifted his grip, large hands sliding down to cup her ass, fingers digging into the thick soft flesh as he used the leverage to drive deeper into her pussy. obscene sounds of their sexing bouncing off the walls, sounded like a song.
it would go diamond if you heard it.
the silver dress was bunched uncomfortably between them now, the metallic fabric scratching against her sensitized skin. jimmy reached down, yanking it over her head in one fluid motion, tossing it carelessly to the floor. her breasts spilled free, nipples hardening instantly in the cool air of the room.
he moved his hands under her knees to push them against the bed. his eyes glued to the image of his dick pressed into her pussy.
she felt a fire building inside her belly. she should've pushed him away. make him go. but the adrenaline pumping in her veins made her lay back and moan his name.
"we shouldn't—" she tried again. wanting to convince herself this was wong...it was wrong. but her protest dissolved into a moan as he circled his hips, grinding against her in a way that made her thighs tremble.
"the way this pussy gripping me? lookin like you dont ever want me leave." he growled, tightening his grip on her ass.
malasia's head fell back, exposing her throat to his hungry mouth. he took advantage immediately, sucking at the sensitive skin beneath her jaw, surely leaving marks she'd have to hide tomorrow. the thought of trinity seeing them sent another conflicted wave of guilt and arousal through her.
jimmy must have seen the flicker of guilt cross her face because he leaned down, capturing her lips in a bruising kiss that drove all thoughts from her mind. he wrapped his arms around her in a tight bear hug, lifting her slightly off the bed. her breasts pressed against the hard plane of his clothed chest.
"don't think about her," he commanded against her mouth. "think about how good you feelin'."
to emphasize his point, he drove into her harder, deeper, the new angle making her cry out. her arms wound around his neck, fingers tangling in his close-cropped hair, holding on as he pounded into her. the room filled with the obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin, of her wetness accepting him over and over.
malasia couldn't form words, could only respond with desperate moans as pleasure built inside her. jimmy's hands slid down to cup her ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh, controlling her movements, forcing her to take every inch of him.
"this what you been needing, ain't it?" he panted, voice rough with exertion. "this why you been walking around half-naked. wanting me to see you. wanting me to fuck you just like this?"
"jimmy, i can't—i'm gonna—" her words faltered as pressure built low in her belly, a tightening coil of sensation threatening to snap. her pussy latching onto him like a deathtrap wetting him up
"hah, not yet," he commanded, suddenly slowing his pace to torturous, deliberate strokes. "look at me first. i wanna see your face when you cum on my dick."
she forced her heavy lids open, meeting his intense gaze. the raw desire she saw there nearly undid her—how long had it been since anyone had looked at her that way? like she was something to be devoured, something precious and rare?
"that's it. you feel that ma? wanna feel every inch of this pussy." he held himself above her now, arms braced on either side of her head, watching her face with an intensity that made her feel both seen and exposed.
malasia whimpered, her body trembling beneath him as he withdrew almost completely before sinking back in with excruciating slowness. the drag of him against her walls sent sparks shooting up her spine, each nerve ending screaming for more, faster, harder—but jimmy maintained that devastating pace, a half-smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he watched her squirm.
"touch y'self for me, baby. give her some attention. she deserves it."
she hesitated. a fleeting moment of shyness washing over her despite their current position. no one had ever asked her to do this—to participate in her own pleasure so explicitly, so visibly.
"don't get shy on me now, ma," he coaxed, his free hand guiding hers downward. "show me how you like it."
her fingers trembled as they slipped between their bodies, finding the slick swollen bundle of nerves where they were joined. the first circle of her fingertips made her gasp, electricity shooting up her spine. jimmy watched, transfixed, as she began to touch herself—hesitant at first, then with growing confidence as pleasure mounted.
"that's it," he encouraged, his voice dropping to a husky murmur. "just like that."
the dual sensation was overwhelming—his thick length stretching her while her own touch built a different kind of pressure. her eyes stayed locked to his, as her mouth formed an O shape. tears began to spill from her eyes as her thighs started to shake.
"whose making you feel this good? hm? whose fuckin you right now? you mines, aintchu?"
the possessiveness in his voice should have repelled her. instead, it sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through her veins, pooling low in her belly where he was buried deep inside her.
"you," she cried out, her nails digging crescents into his shoulders. "you are."
"nah. that ain't enough," slowing his pace to torturous, deliberate strokes that made her squirm beneath him. he slapped her hand away to rub her clit fiercely, "whose pussy is this?"
"it's yours," she sobbed, the guilty admission flooding her center, "'i'm yours, jimmy. please—i need to cum. please, please let me cum."
"that's right," his hips continues their merciless assault on her pussy, until she started to babble incoherently, "lemme feel it, baby. go ahead, pretty girl."
a triumphant smile spread across his face, predatory and satisfied. the pressure in her belly finally snapped in violent waves, flooding jimmy with her arousal. her muscled clenching as jimmy continued his relentless pace.
her vision blurred, pleasure radiating outward from her core in concentric circles that made her toes curl and her fingers twist in the sheets. she heard herself crying out—desperate, broken sounds she barely recognized as her own. her thighs quivered uncontrollably, her inner walls gripping him with each pulse of her release.
"fuck," Jimmy hissed, his rhythm faltering as her body squeezed him. "you feel so fucking good when you cum."
with a final, brutal thrust, jimmy buried himself to the hilt and let go. his rhythm faltering as her body milked him. his body went rigid above her, muscles tensing as he spilled himself inside her with a groan that seemed to emanate from the depths of his soul. she could feel each pulse of his release, hot and thick, filling her completely.
for several heartbeats, there was only the sound of their ragged breathing, the distant hum of the air conditioner, and the faint ticking of the clock on her nightstand. reality hovered at the edges of her consciousness, waiting to crash in.
and then it did.
the clock—3:27 AM. almost an hour and 30 minutes had passed. the tears came without warning, hot and shameful as they slid down her temples into her hair. jimmy lifted himself onto his elbows, looking down at her with an expression that shifted from post-coital satisfaction to something harder, more calculating.
"hey, hey," he whispered, brushing a tear away with his thumb. "c'mon. none of that. you aight, ok? we aight. relax, baby."
"oh god! what did i do, oh my god." malasia cried out into the air. his causal dismissal of her distress only made her tears flow faster, sobs echoing around the room before her hand could catch them.
"shh, these walls thin as hell," jimmy whispered, pressing a hand against her lips. His eyes, so full of desire moments ago, now held something else—more, "don't cry, ma. i gotchu, yea? you felt good? don't cry over some that felt good, ight?"
malasia's tears continued to flow silently beneath his palm. her chest heaved with the effort of containing her sobs, guilt and shame swirling together. jimmy removed his hand slowly, watching her carefully to ensure she wouldn't start wailing again.
she turned her face away, shame burning through her chest. "trinity—"
"don't think about that right now," jimmy interrupted, gently turning her face back toward him. his thumb traced the outline of her bottom lip. "just think about how nice it felt. how perfect we fit t'gether."
his words washed over her like a balm, soothing the ragged edges of her conscience. she wanted to believe him—that this hadn't been just a terrible mistake, a betrayal born from loneliness.
he withdrew from her body with careful movements, and she winced at the sudden emptiness, at the warm trickle of their combined fluids running down her thighs and onto the edge of her comforter.
"don't move," he stated before fixing himself up. she watched through tear-blurred vision as he tucked himself back into his pants and fixed his shirt. he turned to leave the room—more than likely to the bathroom.
jimmy returned with a warm, damp washcloth, kneeling beside the bed. he leaned down to flick his tongue inside her mouth, tasting her one last time, as the towel swiped against her tendered area. he cleaned their combined release from her inner thighs, from between her folds, his touch clinical yet somehow special.
jimmy's movements were practiced—too practiced, a distant part of her mind noted.
"lift up," he murmured, helping her sit upright on the edge of the bed. he moved off the bed towards her closet with a casual confidence; he knew she wouldn't question him or...this anymore.
at least for tonight.
he picked out a plain oversized shirt and a pair of panties to dress her in. he returned to her, bunching the fabric in his hands before easing it over her head. he guided her arms through the sleeves with surprising tenderness. the shirt fell to mid-thigh, covering her nakedness but not the memory of what they'd done.
he lifted one ankle, then the other, sliding the underwear over her feet, then up her calves, her knees. his fingers brushed against the tender skin of her inner thighs as he pulled the fabric higher.
"lift," he said again, and she raised her hips, allowing him to settle the cotton against her still-sensitive flesh.
when he finished, he remained kneeling between her legs, looking up at her with an expression she couldn't decipher. his hands rested on her knees, thumbs tracing small circles on her skin.
"you good?" he asked, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room.
malasia nodded, though she was anything but good. her body hummed with satisfied pleasure while her mind screamed with regret.
"lemme getchu' some water," jimmy said, rising from his position between her knees.
she watched him move through her darkened bedroom with the confidence of someone who belonged there—not a visitor, not an intruder, but someone claiming space.
when he returned, he cradled the back of her head like she was something fragile, something precious, as he held the glass to her lips. the water was cool against her throat, washing away the taste of tequila and regret. his thumb wiped away a droplet that escaped the corner of her mouth, then lingered there, tracing the outline of her bottom lip.
"you still crying?" he asked, his voice softer than she'd ever heard it. In the faint light filtering through her curtains, his eyes looked almost tender.
malasia shook her head, though she could still feel the dampness on her cheeks. "I'm just…" the words wouldn't come. how could she explain the hurricane inside her? the way her body still hummed with pleasure while her conscience screamed in protest?
jimmy set the glass down and took her face in both hands, his palms warm against her tear-stained cheeks, "you good. we good. this stays between us, yeah? our little secret. it's gone be trinity and me, but that don't mean it can't be me and you, too. ight?"
she was unable to form words around the lump in her throat.
how could she agree with his sick lullaby?
jimmy leaned in, his lips brushing against hers. despite every warning bell clanging in her mind, malasia found herself responding. the kiss deepened, his hand sliding from her chin to cradle the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her hair as she kissed him with just as much passion.
time seemed to stretch and compress simultaneously—the kiss could have lasted seconds or hours, malasia couldn't tell.
"i can't," she whispered, but even as she said it, her body betrayed her—leaning into his touch, craving more of the connection that had left her so thoroughly undone.
"you already did, mama." jimmy reminded her, his voice a silken caress. "and you liked it. you wanted it. we both wanted it and we both know that."
the moment felt like it should've belonged to lovers, not to whatever tangled, illicit thing they had just created.
"i gotta get back," he murmured, though he made no move to leave. his fingers traced idle patterns on the bare skin of her thigh where her oversized shirt had ridden up. "trinity's probably wondering where i'm at."
with me...
malasia nodded, but her hands betrayed her, fingers still clutching his shirt. the thought of him leaving—of being alone with what they'd done—sent a wave of panic through her chest. the room would feel too empty, too full of echoes and implications.
he gave her a small kiss, before turning to leave. after he closed her room door, she waited until she heard the front door lock before laying down and finally crying to herself. after what felt like hours, she lifted her phone to see another text from jade, and an instagram notification.
-
j.us.im has sent you a friend request.
j.us.im: she's staying with me t'night.
j.us.im: taking her to her girls place tomorrow.
j.us.im: can't stop thinking about you now ma. don't matter what you tell yoself.
j.us.im: you ain't going no where.
what did she get herself into?
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heyyyy, everyoneeee.
this one????….its intense. it’s gonna be intense. 🙂‍↕️ i can’t get enough of a nice toxic trope. but dw. ill be continuing the valentines day writings still. so we’ll get some sweet-ish too😜.
i’ve been going crazy yall. college is draining me. but my spring break is upon us. so i’ll finally get a chance to relax.
tell me in the comments what you guys think !
🏷️: @lizes-posts @uceyliyahh @punksyeet @charmed-dreamssss @msbigredmachine @shes2real @prettyfilmz @caramelcleopatraa @harmshake @luvrsluxe @angiedawn02 @amandairene88 @cyberdejos2 @queeny23 @empressdede @trentybenty @heauxvibez @whatdoeseverybodywant @romansthrone @acknowledge-reigns @southerngirl41 @jaza23 @usoinked @fearlesschimera @holycollectivekitty @trippinsorrows
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wotay27166 · 3 days ago
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Goodbye Sparklecare.
This will be my final post for actual for real this time.
What can I say that hasn't been said already? I've done my part. I've learnt everything that I needed. It's not the complete sense of closure I'd want but I don't think that's something I can get. I have to accept that. This has all been an incredibly painful past 2 days for me.
In a way, I grew up alongside Sparklecare. I was a minor when I was there during the preboot days, and now I'm an adult with an income. An income that I used in part to support Kittycorn for 2 years. Kittycorn's work was formative to me as an artist and a writer. I related to a lot of the characters and the plots because I too was a traumatized mentally ill/disordered person who had suffered at the hands of both a society and a medical system that did not treat me with dignity.
8 years of my life this comic was a part of.
Everyone has already said everything about Kittycorn the person, her actions, and her predatory associates so I'd like to talk about something else.
Sparklecare as a piece of art
...and how it just speaks to the lack of true artistry that everything about it ceases to hold up entirely once you know the Real Intent.
Because it's insincere.
If you essentially have to deceive your audience to get them to care, you have failed. If you're going to pull deception on your audience it has to be intentional to the experience. You can have stories that are fucked up, transgressive, and taboo succeeding in being fantastic stories in spite of those things as they wear their heart on their sleeve, genuine in what they want to convey. Sparklecare and all its surrounding media is none of that when Kittycorn put on a fake safe persona with a fetish mining work full of dog whistles and falsehoods.
When you set a standard for what your work is and what to expect, it is a MASSIVE 'Fuck you' to your audience to go against what you supposedly stood for the entire time otherwise. I guess a kind of similar example I can bring up is exactly why people hate the ending of Bunny Drop so much. It goes beyond the incest as a presence, it's more about the betrayal of expectation I'd say. It forces you to retroactively look at everything differently and it just ruins it entirely. Every single familial interaction in Cometcare is now impossible to see as just wholesome familial bonding, it's all warped to hell and back right down to the extended lore and themes. The very existence of 'secret canon' or whatever excuse tampers the whole. If it was like a fan-made thing it'd be like whatever, but this is the actual creator - this is a part of her vision. Right from the source.
But even once you realize this, it still doesn't work because it feels unnatural like what is actually wanting to be said/done is being held back. So you're stuck in this awful middle ground of a horrific realization.
The point is, people who aren't upfront about this sort of shit will never make good art that's worth remembering. In a few years no one will give a fuck about this comic outside of its controversy. That is the legacy one leads through insincerity. Even if it does remain it will never again reach the height or momentum it once did.
If you really want to really 'do whatever you want forever', you have to do it with honesty. You can't hedge around it or downplay what you actually want to do. All you will do is build yourself a mounting wall of expectations you know you will never meet because it's all a lie. For all Kittycorn saying in the past she never wanted it to be popular or get the attention it did... she kept pandering to the popular instead of doing what she actually wanted to do, and that's make a fucked up incest comic. It's because the allure of material reward of a large safe fandom that gives you fanart, recognition, and money is rewarding rather than making something real.
That hypothetical fucked up incest magnum opus, I wouldn't be apart of that audience nor would a lot of people in the current Sparklecare fandom. It is an alienating thing to create just purely based on what it is and if that's the 'whatever you want' to make 'forever', it is something one must accept. It also takes a lot of skill to make a work that an audience that otherwise would never engage with something like that to still enjoy/see the merits of it in terms of a piece of art/story. Good writers are perverts, but not all perverts are good writers. If you're not putting your entire ass in everything, the ass crack will show. As an artist who willingly puts their art out into the world and curates a specific audience and tone with their work... how she did not expect any of it to backfire is beyond me.
With an art and writing style that lends itself to a more juvenile audience with how very 'teaching a lesson' focused things are (even the incest comics are like this) it does not naturally lend itself to nuanced discussion nor the sea of depth in terms of character complexity. Sure the characters are multi faceted, but their actions are very black and white with the creator very not open to alternative interpretations that she cannot control within the audience to the point of distress (see people having a problem with Doom in a relationship with former patients he inadvertently aided in torturing by being complicit in the system that enabled it, for example). Even if it turns out if, for example, Sly is supposed to be seen as victim of her own illness (OCD acting on intrusive thoughts) it doesn't magically alleviate her of the actions portrayed nor disgust overshadowing sympathy. There is nothing Kittycorn can do to repair the reputation of this character within her art.
She is still calling the rampant incest canon just a comfort thing and thinks that being like 'umm all the canons are separate it's all AUs' changes intent and mindset in any way. You can't magically just switch off part of your brain when working on certain things - that's not how it works. It's not even like I can't fathom or understand where the coping comes from - a world where what if this awful thing that happened to me wasn't awful and I can reframe it in a positive way for myself so the abuse I endured hurts less. What if the codependent trauma bond meant so much more than a vessel of having power over someone in a life devoid of it? Potentially, a work like that could be quite profound because incest as both a moral dilemma and as a form of abuse, there is no easy 'out' when dealing with it. Themes of generational trauma, legacy, power, sexism, desperation...
--
EDIT: Okay never mind, that entire last three paragraphs before this one was written before the giant ass Sly x Eve defense and... no one is misrepresenting anything. It turns out it is full on incest romanticization in the most literal way. Incest true love. There's no nuance here whatsoever. Which, damn, I... I guess I'm truly speechless here. I was expecting like ANYTHING I guess but it's just... NOTHING...? I feel like an idiot. Fell for it again award received by me!!
I would like to formally apologize to the Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I didn't give you enough credit.
8 fucking years I invested into this shitty fucking comic and it turns out I was reading way WAY too deeply into EVERYHTING. FOR YEARS. Sparklecare was only good because I autistically indulged and overanalyzed everything into thinking there was more here being said and presented than it ever actually was.
I need to sit down.
--
But the key to that is sincerity.
Which is what Kittycorn lacks. It extends beyond her art as even her 'apology' posts are insincere. I don't think Kittycorn understands that no amount of 'actually you are supposed to interpret it like this' will change people's perception purely because of the sensitive nature of the topic at hand. You can be a big massive pervert with big massive pervert parts in you story and it could potentially have merit as art, but it has to be sincere all the way through. You can take perverse to mean purposefully contrarian or sexually taboo- either way I feel it applies. If you can't even be honest about the sorts of people you hang around with nor the way you approach your very public persona...
How can anyone trust a word you say? When all you've done so far is lie? At what point does the audience stop accepting the 'Fell for it again' award?
Why should anyone view your art as anything but a farce?
Anyway, that's my ramble about art.
Wotay27166 signing off for the last time, peace ✌️
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blessedmisery · 3 days ago
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Can I pleeeease have some general bf headcanons for Igris x reader? Theres a severe lack of content for the knight in shining armour </3
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summary: igris x reader - what igris would be like as your bf. warnings: smut, fluff, just the regular hc silliness. author's note: thank u for the request <3 i absolutely adore igris. i hope you enjoy!
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like jinwoo, igris is very introverted and suuuuper shy. get ready to be making those moves baby, because he won't.
he just refuses to believe that you actually like him.
he won't admit that he likes you until he actually has to lol
i actually imagine you fall in love with him without actually seeing his face, so when he finally takes that helmet off and reveals his long hair pulled into a manbun, fuckkkkkkkk, panties dropped. instantly.
but when you two finally (after so much yearning) start dating, igris will truly be the best boyfriend.
in comparison to his very intense and precise fighting style, igris is a very gentle lover.
he is so so so attentive, always keeping an eye on you no matter where the two of you are, and always knowing how you're feeling.
he has a very strong fear of losing you. seeing so much death had traumatized him to an extent, making him overly fearful of losing you.
he's a true protector, having been a knight for so long has instilled that command in him. he lives to protect you and keep you far far away from harm.
despite being very quiet and keeping to himself, he's good at communication and comfort. he's always willing to talk through a problem together and face any hardships as a team.
love languages - words of affirmation, quality time and a teeny bit of physical touch.
he's very articulate and good with his words, but not very touchy. i think he's so used to using his body to fight and protect that any soft physical touch actually throws him off at first, but he comes to love it later on in your relationship.
DO NOT LET THIS MAN INTO THE KITCHEN!!! he will burn it down. he never learned to cook and no offense igris, but don't try to learn, please. do us all a favour and stay away from the stove.
he's just so soft with you in your relationship. he loves to be gentle and kind for you (this doesn't apply to the sex tho. be ready to be bedridden after he's done with you. more on this later.)
back hugs. he absolutely loves to hug you from the back when you're cooking or doing work. he'll wrap his strong arms around your waist and rest his neck on your shoulder.
neck kisses. yeah. he loves it both ways, whether it's him coming up to you to kiss you while hugging you from the back^ or he'll absolutely lose his mind to the feeling of you pressing your lips to his neck.
bad texter. he's reserved, and also doesn't see the point of emoji's or useless texts.
goes MAD when you brush his hair. fuck. he'll close his eyes and pretend to fall asleep just so you keep doing it lol. he's so cute.
if you're mad at him and the two of you argue, he will get on his knees in front of you to apologize. that's just the type of man he is. i don't make the rules.
his favourite pet names for you include baby, PRINCESS (get it cuz he’s ur knight), love
super patient with you. never rushes you, lets you take your time and honestly just enjoys watching the way you handle situations, interact with people and overall go through life.
very jealous. he doesn't like other people fucking around with you. once he got you, he intends to keep you.
very very caring. he's the best person to have around when you're sick. he will sit by your side day and night until you are fully recovered.
speaking of being sick, he's the type of person to not want to inconvenience you so he will pretend he's fine up until this man literally collapses from his fever. fucking annoying. but he'll relish in every moment that you take care of him.
he's okay with pda. not crazy about it but if you like it, he will do it for YOU.
that's his attitude with a lot of things, if you like something and he doesn't he will still do it because he is just so down bad for you.
lowkey an adrenaline junkie. i imagine he actually really loves adrenaline and loves driving fast.
ok wait hear me the fuck out here. remember how i said jinwoo would drive a motorcycle? well he needs a partner in crime. someone to race with. who is that someone? you guessed right. it's igris.
they'll go on late night drives together all the time.
loves the gym. he's lowkey a gym bro. i mean hello, he's a knight so he has to stay in good shape but i think he mostly likes it as a form of stress relief (when fucking you is not available)
fav season is definitely winter. he loves to cozy up with you and really likes playing in the snow lol. (but don't tell beru cuz he needs to keep his mysterious and collected facade up around the other shadows)
he's kind of a child at heart. he comes off as super serious and he's very locked in when he's fighting with jinwoo but when he's with you he feels like he can comfortably relax and be a little sillier.
he screams morning person. he will wake up early to go on a run or go to the gym while you sleep in.
really likes taking candle-lit bubble baths with you. he loves having the two of you wash each others hair.
now for my fav: igris in bed.
this man is kinky. real kinky.
his bedroom energy is the same as when he's all worked up and in combat.
he likes to take control and he likes it ROUGHHHH
this man has insane stamina. never seen anything like it. (i can confirm i've been in his bed.)
he may be a gentle lover but that trait is far gone when he is absolutely fucking you into the mattress.
likes to have your ankles on his shoulders when he fucks you so he can hit deeeeeep.
really into choking and breath play. likes to see you squirm under him.
FACE SITTINGGGGGG!!!! he'll have u sit on his face for HOURS before that man lets you go. he's extremely addicted to eating pussy. don't you dare deprive him.
with that he's a huge fan of overstimulation. can you imagine omfg. "p-please igris, n-no more, i c-can't" you stutter pathetically, your eyes all bleary and hair disheveled from him pulling it while pounding into you from the back. "hmm i think you can take just one more princess" he'd say, his voice all raspy n breathy from going multiple rounds. "n-no" you plead, trying to pull away. it's just too much. he's fucked you out so good on his cock you simply cannot take it anymore. "shh, you're such a good girl, taking it so well, c'mon gimme one more baby" he'd coo, rubbing soothing circles onto the bruises he formed on your hips from how tight he held you. god. i'm so deeply unwell for this man.
he BITES. oh yes. he will bite you alllll over, leaving little love marks all over your neck, your tits, your ass honestly wherever he can mark you up, he'll do it.
huge fan of 69. he likes getting down and dirty TOGETHER.
also really likes to tie you up. especially to all 4 corners of the bed so he can do whatever he likes.
has the nicest cock hands down. not very thick but long and it curves upwards real nice so yk he's hitting that sweet spot in you every. single. time.
now hear me out: discipline kink. he really enjoys disciplining you.
you wanna act bratty? fine, but you won't be able to walk the next day and your ass will hurt. a ton.
despite him being jealous and possessive he likes threesomes. with jinwoo. i mean cmon he’s his main man, how could they not.
overall igris is the bestttttt lover both in and outside the bedroom<3
© @blessedmisery 2025.
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superkirbylover · 1 day ago
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important psa
hey all. i don't normally make these kinds of posts, but it's been brought to my attention how severe this issue is. it's affected at least 25 people, and there's absolutely more that i don't know of. first, i'd like to mention to NOT contact anyone about the contents of this post. not the user i'm talking about, not the people who were victim to them, nada. i especially don't want anyone harassed over this.
second, i want to note that this story starts off mild, but slowly snowballs into something worse. please stay with me as i explain my story.
for the past two years, there's been a user in the pizza tower community named gin. i'm not naming her specific blog for privacy reasons, but if you know, you know. something very important to note is that she's autistic, much like myself. a huge part of autism is missing social cues, not understanding social rules, and various other situations.
about a year ago, gin joined the pizza tower wiki discord server. at first, she was just another member of the server, someone i interacted positively with and held minor conversations with. things took a sharp turn. suddenly, she'd be venting in the offtopic channels, and venting to me in dms. the server and gin often clashed in our interpretations of her comfort character, peppino, where we often liked his more hostile and jerky side, while she prioritized his kinder side. one discussion led to a meltdown, where she went into the server AND my dm's to vent about how she shouldn't have hope, and how she doesn't want to like somebody heartless. i was genuinely concerned, because this behavior reminded me of how i acted when i was 14 regarding sans undertale. i wasn't aware of her age yet. it was only later, if my memory serves correctly, that after me begging to know her age, she told me she was 30. i'm 22.
i suddenly became very worried. not only for her, but for myself, and other server members.
i tried setting a boundary: i don't know you, don't treat me like a friend, and please don't vent to me. she apologized, clarified she was trying to be friendly, and that was that. until like, a month later, where she did the same thing. again. at some point, i gave up enforcing my boundaries, and dropped them entirely. i figured this was just something that came with running the pizza tower wiki discord. someone being incredibly parasocial with me when i've expressed i don't know them… eventually, i realized their venting in the wiki server's offtopic channel was making other users uncomfortable. i felt trapped, not knowing how to handle it. i knew she meant well, but i hated how she was using the server like a friend server. recently, i've started enforcing a soft rule of "please, don't vent in this server." i didn't want to make it a harsh rule, because sometimes topics led to discussion of past events that weren't exactly positive and i don't like restricting conversation topics. however, she often used the server as emotional support. the server has a lot of minors in it, some of which are active. a few of the active members are 16.
i want to stress, she is NOT predatory, pedophilic, what have you. she IS parasocial, clingy, and generally disrespectful of boundaries. two months ago, a friend of mine came into my dms to vent about a stranger being really clingy. i asked if this was gin, and as expected, it was her. my friend was busy when gin was messaging them, asking for feedback on a fic. however, when a response wasn't immediately given, she started freaking out. another friend of mine was recently commissioned by gin, and recognizing this, i asked them privately if gin was harassing them too. unfortunately, this was all but confirmed. the same thing that happened to my first friend happened beat-for-beat with them, too. the first friend asked if there was a way to hide their activity on tumblr, to which i obliged.
about a month ago, another artist, i'll call A, joined the wiki server. we had a discussion about our interpretations of the characters, including peppino, and i finally got the balls to outwardly say i felt like she often sanded down peppino's harsher qualities in favor of making him to be a sweetheart. i don't want to police how people interpret characters, but i want to be able to voice how i feel about it in a discussion surrounding it. this led to a meltdown in the server and my dms, the latter of which i never responded to. she deleted her message eventually. A stepped in within the server and said that the discussion was nothing personal, that it was just a disagreement. i went into A's dms to thank them, as i had felt so uncomfortable considering this wasn't the first time. that's when i learned that this isn't A's first experience with them, and over time, i learned much, much more.
she's done this to half of my friends in the pizza tower community. not only that, but she's done this to even MORE mutuals. even worse, she's done this in a previous pizza tower focused server, venting to people OVER A DECADE YOUNGER in dms, vagueposting in servers about situations, you name it. the wiki server has members who are active that are as young as 16, and i know she's treating them like this, too.
no matter how many times one would set the boundary, "please don't vent to me, please don't be overly friendly with me," it was violated. time and time again. if you set a boundary, she would say it's fine, but melt down in someone else's messages and violate theirs. not only that, but she'd SHARE messages of people enforcing this boundary. i've seen messages of people cutting her off, sharing VERY personal information, and it felt so violating to see. this isn't just my experience, but multiple others, too. i know at LEAST 12 people she's done this to. i know there's more because of the previously mentioned pizza tower focused server she got kicked out of for doing the same exact thing in.
it's common that if you're neurodivergent, you'll often disregard your own boundaries in favor of being kind to others. but let me tell you, from experience: taking care of yourself isn't being cruel or unkind. it's kind, to yourself. it's not selfish to want space. it's not selfish to not want to talk to someone. it's human. i've let my own boundaries be trampled too long.
please, take care of yourselves. do what you need to do.
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mothballmilkshake · 3 days ago
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This is an important message
From the AO3 community on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AO3/comments/1j86qoz/writer_concerns/?share_id=tbE5dfrrnw_ZouFIiipsV&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=13
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Now I'm only new to writing fanfic, and maybe I was a little spoiled with how active the community was around this time last year - but interaction definitely feels like it's dropped. And that's sad! I started writing fic thinking 'I don't really want to be involved in fandom, I just want to write this story' - but I was wrong.
I'm still not good an navigating fandom, but getting to talk to other people who are as hyperfixated on something as me has been an absolute blessing. I do know the drop in interaction is not exclusive to me, too, but it is incredibly demotivating. This poster is correct - fics don't just happen out of nowhere, they take time and effort and somebody have the guts to put it out into the world, so to see the hits going up without kudos or comments following is disheartening.
What did you think of it? Did you like it? Guess this didn't work - maybe I'll try something else. It's not an ultimatum, it's not an 'if you don't comment on this, I won't write this pairing anymore or publish the next chapter' - but it will mean that maybe the thing with less interaction gets less attention.
You wouldn't go for the partner who spends all their time sitting on the couch, over the one who buys you flowers and cake, now would you? It's human nature to want to be appreciated. To want to connect with others, and I know that, as a writer, me putting my words out there in the world is an attempt to connect with you. All of you.
Remember that behind every fanfic you read is a real person, hoping it was received well, hoping it made you feel something - so let them know that! We adore interacting with people who like our work, and I've made some great friends through fandom, who I would probably never have met if they weren't active participants!
You could be missing out on making friends, or your comment might be the difference between an author picking up an old WIP and finishing it. You never know.
Comment anxiety is real. But I don't know a single author who would ever criticize you if you interpret something how they didn't intend, or something comes across a little awkward. The only way you'd ever make the author mad was by trolling or being entitled - which, if you're anxious about commenting, you're unlikely to do.
So go forth and interact! Meet people! And have fun with it!! We're all silly goobers obsessed with the same silly thing. Can't we do it together?
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I'm just going to say this because everyone just always has to say something about Thea, like they just HAVE to check off a box for fandom participation or whatever:
We know hardly anything about her because of how this fandom treated her and Nora didn't fucking like it. It's been talked about so fucking much. Please just stop. It's exhausting. We can't discuss with any idea for progress on the topic when we don't even know anyone's full side of the story.
And as someone raised in a cult and deconstructing, shut up about "common knowledge". You are groomed and raised from a young age to not know shit. ALSO also these books were set in a time before we have access to internet and community and knowledge like we do now. People in the southern USA were not raised, often, being taught morals in that way. If they attended or were around religious crowds, age was never an issue because God condoned the relationship so it would just happen. And I'm talking 14yr old and 20-40yr old marriage.
I am so tired of the flippant false authority I see so many people express on this blog through the anon feature.
You aren't ground-breaking for saying the age gap is problematic. But everyone who says it never gives a thought to the similar age gap between Jeremy and Jean but they are SO FOCUSED on protecting the White Boy from what the Black Woman said. Who may have made a bad joke and not had all of the context. It just screams so much ignorance with how so many people speak about cults and high-control environments in general.
I agree that this discourse has been exhausted. If you don’t like Thea, don’t interact with fan content of her. Problem solved. (General statement, by the way. Not directed at you, anon)
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the-love-cult · 2 days ago
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ramble about black forest cookie.. you're like the ceo of shrignold so this is basically just the butterfly in the land of cookie run is it not?
I'm going to start by disclaiming that I have religious trauma so my experiences with it might mix within my discussion here. Do not base everything I write up here as "fact" Beginning this by saying this event embodied the dark consequences of coerced loyalty and the harmful influence of distorted teachings, Since despite everyone in the CRK fandom joking about her being a "simp" or an "obsessive fangirl" there's a deeply unsettling aspect to a cookie pledging her devotion to a WITCH (The equivalent of God)
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There is no doubt, no wavering, no conflicting thoughts that might indicate Black Forest wishes to withdraw. She is fully surrendering herself, as if offering herself willingly as a sacrificial lamb, while her actions are encouraged and permitted. Her involvement is so profound that even Pastry, another member of the St. Pastry Order, is visibly disturbed, highlighting just how deeply flawed and troubling this situation truly is.
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As if it weren't troubling enough that Black Forest was determined to have the crowd chant and follow her during the rehearsal, the entire setting feels unnervingly off almost as though it’s intentionally private, and for a reason.
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THIS IS NOT NORMAL IN THE SLIGHTST. There’s a clear distinction between loving someone and becoming unnervingly fixated on the belief that you can marry GOD. You’re manipulated into thinking it’s the right thing to do and instead of anyone warning "Hey, this is dangerous! Maybe you shouldn’t go through with this!" it was encouraged, pushed forward, and enabled!
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Revered Mother Cookie (the very abuser we all know all too well) should not be overlooked especially considering what she did to Pastry. Naturally she’s finding ways to justify this which is deeply hypocritical when you think about it especially with her involving Red Velvet. But that’s a conversation for another time.
This event might have appeared innocent at first but Black Forest was dragged back into that cult. Her "lovesick" emotions are far from healthy.. she’s clearly brainwashed. It’s easy to miss if you’re caught up in the cute interactions with Wedding Cake Cookie or ignore the subtle details but it’s impossible to deny just how unsettling it really is.
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Let’s not forget that she’s been conditioned to think this way since childhood. From a very young age she’s been secluded for this. In isolated, insular religious environments, it’s unfortunately common to manipulate children because they lack the understanding and are more easily shaped to fit a certain narrative.
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All of this to her becoming a CAKE BRIDE I just don't know how not MORE PEOPLE are talking about this. The event is so good I feel like people need to remember it's not as innocent as it looks. It truly has sweet moments but it's deeply uncomfortable if you take it apart. I've not been into Cookie Run for a bit now but this event spoke to me I appreciate it so much
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gh0st-ratt · 11 hours ago
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DBDA character colour dynamics
Dead Boy Detectives did something really fun with giving each main character a 'hero colour', and utilised that to make subtle stories about that character as their colours change. And I want to talk about it and flex my knowledge of the colour wheel.
I'm not going to go through every colour and what they represent because I know a lot of people have done that (Asidian is one of note, go check those out they're really good)
But what I will talk about is opposing colours - also referred to as complimentary colours - and how they inform character dynamics.
The show very clearly presents the four main characters' primary colour palette or 'hero colours', especially with what they wear. Edwin is always wearing his blue-toned school uniform, and I think it is a wonderful representation of his character that the outfit is not a bright, clear blue. I know there was talk about a version of Edwin's outfit being a blue suit (which would have looked amazing but I prefer the outfit we were given for analysis sake), but Edwin's outfit being a subtler representation of his hero colour ties into him presenting himself as a subtle character.
He keeps to himself, and no one really gets to know how he really is until they get close, he's often got a large coat covering everything else - his colour is so barely obvious because he does not let himself be obvious.
There's also the matter of colour meanings (which I won't get too into), as Edwin represents blue; blue as in calm, but also blue as in sadness. Edwin is a very put together character. But he's also a very lonely character. He's almost always wearing a dull blue.
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A fun thing with having colour-coded-characters is that there is opportunity for there to be hidden implications between characters of opposing colour schemes. I'm not actually sure if the show meant to play with these implications, because a lot of the characters don't have attributed colours, but I never doubt costume designers and it's fun to imagine.
Edwin's colour is blue, and the opposing colour of blue is in fact orange. And I don't know about other people, but I see the Cat King to be representative of the colour orange. He's introduced as a ginger cat, he's wearing earthy tones every time we see him during that Life, and he's got that sparkly coat from ep6 (which I will touch on later).
And that makes dynamics really fun. Because it again positions Edwin and the Cat King as oppositions on another, subtler level. The Cat King is constantly trying to push Edwin to be less reserved, to act on what he feels; he's pushing his buttons, he's pulling his pigtails, he's being a real fucking shit, and the general opposite of how Edwin tries to present himself.
But, blue and orange are also complimentary colours; they bring out how different the other looks, and make them more vibrant (some even say "they bring out the best in each other"). And you can definitely argue that those things all happen between Edwin and the Cat King.
The Cat King's influence allows Edwin to accept himself more than he has been repressing for his entire life. And the Cat King is finally shown someone who isn't taking his shit and not falling into him easy, and actually almost causes some self reflection.
These colours as representing actually expands in the scene where the Cat King appears in The Creeping Forest, he is wearing a coat that is mostly blue, but with orange/brown details. And Edwin is wearing an outfit that has blue/teal underneath, with his brown coat on top. They're influencing each other! Edwin lets the Cat King get closer for a moment, and the Cat King has been letting Edwin unconsciously endear himself to the Cat King.
Then there is their final interaction, where the Cat King has changed lives and also changed colours. He is no longer opposing or complimenting Edwin, his colour is now the shade of black. They are no longer at odds, they have completed their game.
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NOW about Edwin's confession-attempt sweater.
His sweater is a greener colour than he has been wearing for the entirety of the show (more of a teal). Green is in fact the opposing/complimentary colour of red. It could be seen as Edwin - attempting to create a 'perfect confession' to Charles - going for a colour that compliments him better than his typical blue tones.
This makes the confession in hell all the more impactful because Edwin is only wearing white in that scene - he's not complimenting or opposing anyone, he's confessing rushed, unplanned, in the worst of places, but that doesn't matter! Because Edwin and Charles have never been complimentary colours in the 3 decades they've known each other and that's okay! That's great even! Charles doesn't need Edwin to compliment/oppose him in character colours and he expresses that with his response to Edwin's confession.
This lack of colour is presented in episode 1, in the moments where it's just Edwin and Charles alone in their office, working out a case, they've both stripped down into their underclothes, shedding their character colours. In those moments their colours and subsequent balances don't matter, because it's just them.
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A fun thing that I always love with duo characters is when there is a warm-toned character and a cool-toned character, and Charles and Edwin are that exactly. Charles has the warm colour of red, as well as a darker jacket and coat and gold (warm) jewellery. Edwin has cool tones of dulled blue blazer, dark blue vest and bow tie, and a lighter brown coat.
I'm actually going to recommend that you check out some gifsets of the show and characters because there are creators out there who colour their gifs showing the warm/cool tones really well, even between characters and the background. (wordsinhaled, sasakiniko, every-moment-a-different-sound, to name a few, there's definitely more)
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I'm sure most people know about the infamous red-smear hospital design tumblr post and the double-meanings of the colour red, so I won't get too into that. That being said:
Red represents passion, strength, love, etc. But it also represents anger and danger. Having Charles' hero colour be red allows for representation of his constant internal battle. He tries so so hard to be there for his friends, to be liked, to be the one "keeping spirits up", but he's also terrified that his anger makes him a "bad guy", and that he really is just his father. By being his hero colour, he allows himself to be both. But he's also claiming it as his own in a way.
There's also the matter of Charles losing his hero colour as he gets more and more distressed throughout the show. He's losing all that the colour represents, but he's also losing himself. He doesn't feel like a hero anymore. When his shirt is black, the show isn't toned as warmly. He isn't toned as warmly.
But then there's the moment in episode 5. (I've seen this in a post but I cannot find it so if anyone knows lmk and I'll mention the creator) The episode 5 hug, when Charles expresses all his fears to Edwin of becoming what he's afraid of and all that he's hidden. Edwin, as he reassures Charles: tugs at Charles' lapels, straightens a pin, and lifts Charles' coat collar, exposing the red underneath. Edwin brings back Charles' hero colour to him, even before his shirt changes back on its own.
Charles' colour opposition is against himself not anyone coloured green. Toning his shirt darker is a brilliant way to demonstrate how he feels like he is growing darker and less of a hero, and it's subtle enough that you don't notice it all the time. Also it would've looked horrific having his shirt turn slowly green.
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There's also the matter of the colouring of the lights of Heaven and Hell. I know that Heaven is coloured blue because in the Sandman comics they present Death taking someone with a black wing shape over blue - which the show uses.
Edwin's hero colour is blue, the colour of Heaven, which is ironic because he has only ever been destined for Hell. However, it is prominent especially in the scene of Charles choosing to go with Edwin instead of Death. We see the bright blue of Death pour in from the window, but Charles doesn't choose that light, he chooses Edwin instead, a different shade of blue.
What's also interesting is that Charles isn't red in that moment; it's the same set of colours as the confession, one of them isn't wearing their hero colour, the other is, and the connection between them still works.
Charles chooses Edwin over Heaven. Edwin's confession is accepted. 30+ years and they still don't need that colour compliment. But I digress.
There's also the matter that Hell's colour is represented by red. A bright, brilliant red. Very similar to Charles' typical shirt.
Now I could say how Charles would recognise that as him being hellish, or similar to Hell in anyway BUT instead I am going to say how, while Edwin may be destined for Hell, he doesn't get it, he gets something else red that is much much more lovely.
The boys hero colours represent what each other's afterlives would be, but they don't need those afterlives because they have each other representing them anyway.
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Okay move over boys I want to talk about Crystal
Crystal's hero colour is also quite obvious from the get-go, as she is almost always wearing some shade of purple, and when she isn't, I feel like they colour tone her hair so it looks a little reddish-purple (check out ep3 and 6 and tell me if I'm insane).
The choice for purple as her colour is perfect because while purple is a dark colour and often associated with black or red to seem 'evil', it's not a completely menacing colour. Just like Crystal, who may seem harsh or rude (or, as we see in her memories, a real bitch), but is actually just someone who is trying and caring. So, she gets a royal colour.
Purple is also apparently the colour of spirituality, so there's a little reference to her psychic background.
It's also the colour you get when combining blue and red. Crystal is both a combination of Edwin and Charles, but she also allows them to be closer together. Anyway like I said this isn't about them.
I don't think that Crystal wears purple much in the memories we see of her, representing how she wasn't really ever herself in those moments: she was masquerading as someone else. She's also not wearing her hero colour because, well, she's not a hero in those moments.
Purple's opposing colour is in fact yellow. And Crystal's opposition for the majority of the show is David the Demon. Now David isn't really yellow, he's more brown, but I'm preferring to think of it as a tainted, ruined yellow. Because he is of course, a demon. He's ruining Crystal's life, he's ruining the life of the guy he's possessing, he's dirtying everything he puts his hands on, so it makes sense that he'd ruin his colour. It's not much of a hero colour anyway.
I lied earlier, when I said that Crystal doesn't wear purple in her memories, I think she does wear purple when she is with David. Which does make sense! She seems to be trying to be a little bit more herself with him, she even says she "-thought it was love". What's interesting is that the purple she wears in those scenes is a darker purple than we see her in later episodes. That purple is almost menacing, because she's being influenced by a literal demon.
Crystal wearing her hero colour in those scenes also emphasises her contrast to David. They are technically complimenting each other, bringing out the worst, but they're also opposing. David doesn't actually love Crystal, he just wants to possess someone powerful. The context differs with their perspective, but no matter what we can see that they are on completely different ends of the colour wheel. Especially seeing as David's yellow can hardly be called that.
When Crystal brings David to her Mind Tree, where everything is coloured purple, the yellow is cancelled out. You can't see it very well at all, because David is not the one in control, it isn't his turf and it isn't about him. It's Crystal's moment, and bathed in her hero colour, she defeats her villain.
(I don't know why the inside of Crystal's head with the eyes is blue. It doesn't line up with anything I'm analysing and I don't understand it. Maybe it's just cause it looks good)
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Niko has a hero colour, but is not defined by it. And I think that's because she does not see herself as a hero. "[She] knows [she's] not the bravest" and she's always a little shocked and excited to be invited on cases; she doesn't see herself within the 'hero' stereotype, and therefore does not often wear her hero colour.
Niko's hero colour is pink, which is interesting for a few reasons, one is that pink doesn't really have an opposing colour. Sometimes pink is just considered an extension of red and therefore green is a possible complimentary colour.
This kind of falls into the idea of Charles and Niko being similar, both trying to stay positive when it feels like their life (or death) is falling apart a bit, both the 'sunshine to a grumpy', both sweethearts. This leads on to my argument that we were robbed of Niko and Charles interactio--
Also the fact that Niko has no opps. Her ever-changing wardrobe stops that and also because how could you hate her.
While other characters' colours tie into where they are in their arc, Niko's outfits seem to tie into the narrative itself.
At the end of Devlin House, Niko comes running towards Edwin, Charles and Crystal wearing green. She has been wearing this the entire episode, which has allowed her to tie into the Sprites' outfits subtly, but now she is with different characters. Now she is complimenting Charles. And this presents on screen as Niko creating a sort of distraction for Charles after the Devlin House; he can ignore what just happened, he can ignore Crystal and Edwin prying, he can just focus, as the red character, on complimenting both Niko's colour and her crowbar, letting Niko balance him out.
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Niko seems to only wear her hero colour in the Dead Dragons, as she sends a letter to her mother, and as she plans the date for Jenny and Maxine. This is because, to her, this is the time she is being truly brave and trying something new with new people because she wants to. She's been scared to read her mother's letters and scared to reply, but now she has braved that hill, and therefore can wear her hero colour. This then continues with the date; this is Niko's "-case of [her] own", she's the one instigating something she really thinks is going to benefit those she is trying to help! She's being brave, she's "-been helping a lot of people lately" and this is her doing this for the first time herself!
Niko's use of a blue colour palette in Creeping Forest was probably partially due to Edwin abandoning his typical hero colour to favour the teal sweater, which allows stylistically for there to be a time for Niko to be blue without the colours conflicting.
With Edwin, blue represents both calm and sadness, but with Niko I think while it represents that, it's to a different level. Niko isn't exactly calm about anything that occurs around her in episode 6, but neither is she sad, per say. She's upset about upsetting Jenny and the destruction of her idea of love, but she's more.. ambivalent about what is happening.
What's interesting is when Niko first questions Jenny about her behaviour, she's wearing the blue outfit, but the next day, after she has been thinking over her behaviour and Jenny's reaction, she's wearing an orange outfit! Which we have already established is the opposing colour to blue. Niko has changed her perspective entirely, and her outfit represents that.
And in the final episode, her outfit is white, because she has no more interactions to have, and there is no more narrative for to compliment.
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neutron-stars-collision · 5 hours ago
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I think its insane how people who hate Luke have entire narratives about him, that they can provide no evidence for but that they insist is true. They ignore the evidence of literally everyone who has ever interacted with him and speaks only positive of him, and really likes him, claiming it all to be some intense PR campaign that they're all buying into to fix his image(it was never damaged?), so they can't be trusted, but rando anon number 2740 who claims someone made a site called "don't date luke newton"? Thats trust worthy, thats proof, even though theres no screenshots and its all word of mouth, and none of the other anons know anything about it and its never been talked about before today. And they can't seem to see how silly it is because honestly...in what world has Luke got a big enough presence before now that those things would be suppressed to the point that only a handful of people know about if and none of them grabbed screenshots? How does it even make sense in their mind?
Yes exactly. But then considering all this has started based on the unfounded rumour that Luke had called in paps to take away attention from Nicola and s3 and that this has led to decrease in part 2 figures… it all makes sense in some twisted, ridiculous way.
There’s conveniently no evidence for any of this. No evidence for Luke’s supposed bad rep. No evidence why he’s a PR nightmare when everyone that met him says nice things about him. Anything goes for people with agenda and the aim to badmouth him.
It’s extremely parasocial and concerning to make up bullshit about a stranger for the world to see. But they’re not worth the attention either.
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neallo · 2 days ago
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do you have any advice on how to make friends on tumblr, im finding it a bit hard and would appreciate some advice. thank you
hello my dear anon. i would be very happy to provide advice on how to make friends here on tumblr dot com! i will be focusing on how to make fandom friends, because that is all i have ever really done on this webbed site. i am not going to get into the nitty-gritty of social skills and manners, because i want to focus on the basics of fostering connections with other people in a fandom on tumblr, but i'll quickly say: don't be over-familiar in an invasive or jokey-mean way to people you don't know well, respect boundaries and social cues (don't repeatedly message someone you don't know well if they're not replying to you), and be generally niceys!! i know you probably know all that. but it's key, and i think not everyone is totally fully aware of social skills when it comes to interacting online in particular, so i felt it was worth saying (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤
now we can move into the real advice :3c
first things first: actively participate in your fandom! you can do this by creating fanworks (writing fic, making art, etc)— and if you want to, you should give it a try! participating in the fandom doesn't need to involve making fanworks, though. plenty of people mainly participate in fandom by supporting creators and taking part in conversation about the characters or ships that they're interested in. on tumblr, you can do this by leaving your thoughts on fanworks that you like! you can do this by replying, or— even better— reblogging with comments in the tags!
other good forums to interact with the fandom include meta posts (you can add thoughts in the body of your reblog if you have something you want to say, or in the tags if you're shy / just want to go "hell yeah!!!" generally) and questions that people ask ("does anyone know if [character] ever [does/says something specific]?") — these are nice opportunities to find and connect with other fans who are talking about or want to talk about the things that interest you ❤️
of course, you can also post things in the tags! generally, best etiquette is to keep posts in the fandom, character, and ship tags kind / civil. you will see people saying things like "ugh [character or ship] is so annoying" or "i hate that people only write [character] as a [top/bottom/seme/uke]." however, this is not something i recommend doing or engaging with. everyone can do whatever they want forever, but i find this type of behavior unnecessary and unpleasant. people who center their tumblr experience around complaining about what other people like and do are frankly participating in fandom in a way that confuses me. i fail to understand why someone would choose to consistently focus on things that upset or annoy them; fandom is meant to be enjoyable.
try to talk about the characters and ships you like, and the dynamics you like for them. rather than going "ugh i hate it when people write [character] in [some specific way]," try talking about the dynamic or characterization you'd like to see more of. bonus points if you can resist saying "why doesn't anyone write [xyz thing you want]," because there's a good chance someone has written that, and if they see your post, they're not gonna know if you haven't seen their fic, or if you have seen it and just didn't like it. a better way to put that would be "does anyone have recs for fics where [xyz thing you want happens]?" do not say "i tried looking but couldn't find anything good." people aren't gonna want to rec you things if you're leading with a weird attitude. of course it can be difficult to find fic that you truly love which also aligns with your preferences, but especially in a tiny ship or fandom, it's best to have some tact. also, if you're really that pressed for stories you wanna read, it's a great reason to get into writing 🥰
all this said, everyone needs to bitch once in a while; that's normal. healthy even. this bitching is best left in DMs, though, or at the very least, on your blog, out of the tags. and don't let haterism consume you!!
OH! i almost forgot. send asks! send asks to people in the fandom that you think are interesting and nice. send asks for ask games when people reblog them, and send asks about fics or characters or fanart to other people in the fandom. if you're very shy, you can do this on anon, and then interact with the answer once it's posted by replying or reblogging.
okay. let's say that you've been engaging with fanart by reblogging and leaving your thoughts in the tags, engaging with fic by reblogging with thoughts in the tags and / or commenting on AO3, and interacting with other people in the tags for the characters and ships you like. and, best of all, sending asks! doing all of this, you'll get a sense for which people you might get along with, and who might be receptive to your friendship. if someone is replying to your tags, following you back, interacting with your posts, and so on for a while, that's a great opportunity to DM them!! (it's fine to keep things to asks and replies for a while if that feels easier, of course!)
once you have a person in mind that you would like to DM, it's up to you how you want to reach out. i'm an impulsive and somewhat outgoing person online, so in my early days in the DN fandom (and my last fandom) i would often just spontaneously DM people whose vibes i liked and introduce myself (hi, i'm neallo, i hope this isn't strange but i just wanted to pop in and introduce myself!). i would then let them know that i liked their blog, or their art, or their writing, often leaving a specific thought about the item in question ("i totally agree with your post about [character], he WOULD say that" or "i love how cute / pretty / impish you make [character] in your art" or "your writing style is so compelling, i've really been enjoying your fics"). i don't do this very much anymore, but it's not because it doesn't work. it's just that i have a finite amount of time and there are a lot of people in meronia now T__T so, generally, i only go out of my way to reach out to people i've already interacted with a good deal through posts / asks / comments on AO3 (aka people who i feel would possibly like to be friends with me).
you technically can cold DM people if you really like their blog or writing or fanart. i personally don't mind a DM from someone i haven't interacted with before, but i do always have to take a second to make sure they're not a child and not a spam bot or something. some people are put off by being messaged directly by someone they've never interacted with before, though, so i think it's generally best practice to kind of get a feel for things on the public side of tumblr before sending someone a message!!
now, a word of self-compassion and general caution. first: not everyone will reply to you. others may reply at first, but fall off (i am really bad about this myself, just because life has been getting in the way a whole lot recently). sometimes people are busy; sometimes they are just not really actively seeking friends or conversation; sometimes they maybe just don't think they'll vibe with you! it doesn't reflect poorly on you if someone doesn't respond to you or try to befriend you. it can be sad, or a little disappointing, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. don't take it personally, and try not to feel too dejected or hurt over it.
one more thing. ideally, this will not happen at all, but if it does, hopefully it will be seldom. in my experience, it has been very seldom! the thing is this: someone might be unkind to you. i personally am not that good at figuring out when someone is being mean to me unless they're insanely obvious about it! i will make excuses for someone doing or saying hurtful things several times ("i'm sure they didn't mean it like that" or "they're just kidding around") before i realize that they're being kind of an asshole. i don't actually think this is a bad trait, though-- i like to assume good intent from other people, and only rescind that assumption when i'm proven wrong. i only mention this to tell you: if someone routinely makes you feel bad about yourself, your art, your writing, or your thoughts, maybe they're not the best person to befriend.
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sweetmariihs2 · 2 days ago
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Man! How these situations happen with me??! I have to make this public because oh my god
I had found a post, a random innocent post about the character Cedric from Sofia The First, asking if he would prefere dogs or cats. That was all! This was the post, and it was made by a friend of mine, that I know already. I answered "Oh I think he would like birds cuz he had a bird in the show and maybe he's used to take care of them more, I think it fits him!" And then my friend answered "well, I don't, I think he would be traumatized with taking care of them after his last bird friend betrayed him..." and I thought we were just exchanging opinions and having a conversation about a silly topic, like I always do with other people in fandoms when we disagree, we talk about what we think and see the things we agree in eachother's words. I then answered and gave more info why I thought that, thinking that the person would say "Ah ok I get it! I just don't understand it though. But I think that after the bird character betrayed him he wouldn't like taking care of birds anymore" and I would answer like "yeah it kinda makes sense, I think this because of this reason, but I get you"
No, man!! The person instead answered my comment "no I don't agree with you... I don't think that. No" and I thought "Oh ok maybe they don't want to have a fun little conversation. I don't want to argue about this silly topic, they will maybe try to argue with me, I don't want it, so I won't respond" and went on with my day.
Hours after that, I found a post that was made by the same person that made the previous post and had the conversation with me (it was all the same person and I consider them a friend since we know eachother and we are fandom buddies), but this person was writing:
"Why can't people see different headcanons and get out of canon material?
I used to be in said fandom and becauce I told them a headcanon I had they argued with me bc of my opinion, and now I see this happening in the Cedric fandom. For example today I made a post about Cedric liking cats or dogs and someone said he liked birds." (My personal note: what????????? Why am I mentioned in this)
"Guys don't do that. This makes the fandom awful to be in. These kinds of interactions are not good, don't turn the fandom toxic please" and ended the post.
I thought: what the hell????? But at the time I wasn't angry, I got embarassed and frustrated because this whole thing was unnecessary (this happened yesterday). This person had beef with me once in the past about another random silly topic abt Cedric, and I made a comment saying that "Cedric is childish in some aspects so maybe that's why certain thing blablabla" and the person, who is ALSO called Cedric, thought I was talking about them and got very very angry. When I understood the situation I spoke to him and he said sorry for misinterpretting my words. But he also told me something very specific about him, saying that he can sometimes misinterpret some things that people say and can see things negatively and react too fast or too negative, something like that. But yeah, that time the whole situation happened because of him misunderstanding me
And when the other situation happened yesterday, I thought "Ah he saw my comment and thought I was arguing. He told me about his problem of misinterpretting stuff so I'll go to him peacefully and explain that I wasn't intending to argue. But yeah that post using me as a bad example of something I didn't do was unnecessary and it certainly made me feel disrespected because I didn't do anything wrong. It will be easy they'll understand me and understand the situation" as if!! I reblogged their post and spoke about my pov, even showed screenshots of the comments, to show him that I wasn't arguing and wasn't disrespecting any opinion, and that his post about bad behavior and my mention in it made me feel disrespected. He is my friend and he can come to me and talk instead of posting and causing a situation he misinterpreted in the first place.
I got so anxious because I hate arguing, I hate conflicts! And this was something public and unnecessary about something I didn't do. I thought the end would be communication and that it would be easy, and I got anxious until the moment he answered me. My hands usually tremble when I'm anxious like that.
Well! At first he made a post in other account of his, absolutely not understanding my point, saying that he wouldn't take the post down (It would be good, yes, but I haven't even mentioned this! I didn't asked him to take the post down). But then seconds later, after I had already read it, he deleted the post and the notification tagging me also disappeared. And then he messaged me instead, also moments after that. And I though "phew! finally he wants to talk to me. Maybe he understood the situation, right??"
Nah he was arguing, definitely. His words were hella confusing to me because he said that I was making a conflict about something that wasn't a conflict-? I don't understand. I think he was misinterpretting me again, but I don't even know how to describe what he said since it was too confusing. I'll add screenshots because I'm confused as well. Don't read it if you don't want to
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I have this in my mind, that "Dialogue is the best way to work through a conflict. Expressing why you felt disrespected is the right way to do it. Having a conversation." This is something confirmed by psychologists. And there is another thing in the study of dialogue that is when neurodivergent people and neurotypical people can't communicate properly because neurotypicals hear different intentions in neurodivergents just being literal and wanting to communicate, or when neurodivergents don't get something that neurotypicals meant cuz it was not literal, like for example when they're trying to make fun of the neurodivergent person saying like "omg where did you bought that shirt? from a landfill? lmao" and the neurodivergent innocently says "no actually I bought it from the store 😄 we can go together there if you want to!"
The same thing usually doesn't happen between two neurodivergent people because they're both literal and understand eachother literally, which it the best way to talk and understand other ppls feelings! And what is weird is that my friend Cedric is neurodivergent just like me, but he wasn't understanding me at all. I have a theory, for example, I'm 100% sure that I got my autism from my dad, and while he is literal like me, he tries to interpret some of my literal statements thinking that they're not literal and takes my words out of context. This probably happened because in his life he couldn't get subtle messages and tried to work around the problem by developing a way to indentify them, so sometimes I'm saying something normally and he gets it all wrong because his defense from letting comments pass works like this. He reads too much into what I said and gets it all wrong because in a moment of his life he had to do that to survive. We have to work through this.
I think the same thing happened with my friend Cedric and I don't blame him! He said later on that he get on conflics with a person often and this is related to his communication, and I said "Oh ok this makes sense. Yeah I'm not angry at you, man"
My dad for example is not aware of his bad habit. This person, on the other way around, is aware that they misunderstand other people, so if he is aware of that, he should try to speak to those he thinks that are arguing with him in private to try to understand the situation. But ok, sometimes people don't get these instructions, sometimes no one tells them that this is the right thing to do, specially in toxic environments. After our conversation then, he said sorry for what happened and understood that I was just talking. I don't want my written words to seem angry, I wanted them to seem paceful, and maybe he was reading them as angry because of his experience in toxic environment. And that was it! That was the conversation. We understood eachother and it ended yesterday.
They mentioned something like "I showed this to other people and they don't think I am in the wrong either" somewhere in the conversation and I got all confused because... I haven't done literally anything? I mean, he IS in the wrong for creating a situation that never existed and exposing me for something that I didn't do. Dropping down the calm explaining here, now I AM angry after the most recent post. I'm gonna tell you about the post.
"Hey um guys I am blocking the user @sweetmariihs2 because it's like the third time we argue and I want peace. I don't want to argue anymore"
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I'm pissed, because someone random put me in a situation I didn't do anything to be involved, created a whole beef about something that wasn't even a fight, I thought we had understood eachother and he had understood that HIS misinterpretation problems were the cause of all this inconvenience to me, and that we were done and ok now. But no! Now they're coming publicly saying IN A POST, to other people who will read, that it's bad to keep contact with me cuz I fight. Like I was crazy or something! Now I have all the right to be pissed!
Third time? Excuse me?? The first time was when he minsunderstood me. The second time was when he misunderstood me again. There was no third time. Are you kidding??? You bother me twice and then makes a public post saying that you'll block me because I'M creating conflict?!? Fuck this.
I won't lose my mind here, I'll keep calm, but there's a moment a person can't keep taking shit anymore and just explodes! Damn, man! This was so unnecessary!
Think of the people that will read that post and think I'm crazy and I'm toxic to interact with. I got into an argument with a person that was harassing me in the past and made a post about this situation, and what was funny was that everyone was making other posts like, thinking we were beefing over stupid fandom headcanons. We weren'tttt!! The post was made because that person was going after me everywhere nonstop, harassing me! They made a blog to literally watch me and my posts after our argument, I have all the right to be mad! This was other situation with someone else. Now imagine these people, that saw this conflict in the past and think that I was "arguing" about "fandom stuff", seeing this post telling people publicly that Cedric will block me because I'm problematic. Man, stop stepping at my shoe! Leave me alone. Now I AM angry.
I thought we had made peace, I thought he had said sorry. The Cedric The Sorcerer fandom is smaller and smaller everyday, and I thought about blocking @cedricthewise to avoid fights too, but I thought "no, he just got it wrong, we said sorry, and I like his posts, not many people are talking about the character Cedric anymore, blocking is unnecessary". But thinking right now, I guess that I should have taken this decision wayyy back then. Imagine if I want to friendly interact in a future post and they interpret my words as hate, making another series of posts and conflicts that I didn't had anything to do with!
This kind of miscommunication will happen with Cedric and other people in the future and the best way to work around them is through dialogue. He KNOWS that he has a communication problem, and this will happen more times in his life, he needs to learn how to work through this. Man, I was misinterpreted and now there's a post publicly saying to everyone that blocking me is the best thing to do like I'm the cause of the situation. No I won't keep quiet! I will position myself! That's why I am making this post!
I thought everything had already ended and he said sorry. Man, if someone knows that they have interpretation problems, this someone needs to take their problems into account before getting into any conflicts, cuz sometimes they think someone is arguing, and this someone is not. Imagine if someone started having beef with you out of nowhere and then after saying sorry they made a public post saying to everyone that they'll block you. I don't care about the block, it's about the post again! He could have just quietly blocked me if he thought it was the best thing to do, but a post? What does he want to do with that post? He wants the Cedric fandom to hate me or something? I'm really known here! I'm the nicest, most respectful person you'll ever see, can you see how many times I was patient with bullshit only in this situation with Cedric? Now I'm not anymore! I'm making myself very clear in case he wonders what I'm feeling right now, I'm angry! I'm very angry and feeling disrespected. I don't want interactions with him anymore either.
I'm gonna make a rude statement here, but despite being rude, it's something we should take for our lives. Personal problems need to be dealt with in therapy, not with me, because I'm not a psychologist. If someone says they have reactive problems, trying to help is the worst thing you can do, because in the end you'll always end up screwing yourself over. The best thing to do is not interact with that person. Don't get involved in a situation with someone you know that has problems with being in situations. I don't want to go back to this discussion and, it will be a great loss to not see their posts anymore because they're nice, but my mental health will thank me so fucking much for just cutting contact with living ticking time bombs.
That's the end of the post. Stupid unnecessary situation.
I'm keeping the stf tags because that's for the stf fans to read.
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marzipanilla · 1 day ago
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: D yessss. Enjoy Pushing Daises. how is the House MD watch going btw? that still on xD
Nolan not shivering but having to consciously vibrate is amazing lol. like. I'm just imagining him stepping out of a cold shower, vibrating, and suddenly the bathroom is a steamy sauna 'cause he fucking superheated the water off himself. him vibrating in a body of water until it starts to boil... that being how he heats stuff up around the house while debbie is just like... how is this pot boiling if the stove is off... have I talked about the cooking a turkey by slapping it thing w you or was that someone else I was chatting spec bio w ??? lol
anyway he should be able to cook things by hitting them w his hand, a la that one kind of shrimp that kills and cooks its prey by punching it so hard. fighting viltrumites should be dangerous not just bc they can punch through you. the heat build up from the force should be insane!! again their slaps can cause earthquakes and their punches bbqs. the ground shouldnt just be broken under them, it should be superheated glass!!
why would they need to learn nuclear fusion and build energy facilities when they can just clap hard enough to mimic a fucking atom bomb. they truly could have the strangest most ass backwards society if you really wanted to get into it, bc so many of the 'necessary' side trajectories other species have to work towards in order to create tools would be utterly bypassed by them. like what the hell kind of society develops from a ppl who have spaceflight before they even need to think about making fire??? they dont need to cook bc nothing can poison them!! what does a society not based off the production of food to support itself even look like!!! ahhhhhhhhgfjhfhjdhdjdhrj anyway...
Nolan 10000% does not know how to drive/operate a car. I can fly Debbie. I do not need to use your primitive machines. waste of time, moving on. he dislikes people who try to get him to go on planes. ppl assume he's afraid of flying and Debbie thinks that's the most hilarious shit ever.
I think Nolan would have had the same degree of mental breakdown at the end of S1 if he had just been having regular chess matches in the park w someone for 20 years. that man was so insanely starved for literally any kind of trust and intimacy. he just stumbled into having a fucking family so thats the dynamic he got. like I don't think this man has literally ever experienced someone being happy to see him until he came to Earth.
I also think his early concept of personhood for ppl was v dependent on time spent. like. if i know you, you're real, if I dont youre a very killable npc. I also think his use of violence is neutral/barely violence from his pov. you don't think of flicking an ant off your knee as violence! i've def seen ppl give him a 'fighting/killing/facing a challenge' is an itch he needs to scratch, but I just don't see him that way. its the tool he was most prominently taught to use! its how he mostly interacts w the world! but I don't think he has much of a personal interest in it, per se? He definitely had a bug up his butt about proving himself to Viltrum, and Viltrum told him violence was how he did that, but violence would also be their answer to failure. so as long as he stayed ahead of the violence, he was good, y'know? or its almost like... death and violence are separate things to him. violence can result in death, but death only happens to ppl and most things he meet arent ppl.
like he could try and course correct mark w violence bc that was what viltrum would do- but he couldnt let him die bc he was a person- but death is something they would bring. Nolan's just never seen them do it to a person before. in his head he's killed, but he's never killed people y'know? not in his worldview.
Due to his writer career I do think when he was little, like pre-powers maybe not much after, I think he liked to journal and record shit. his sci-fi was actually memoirs and his travel guides were fucking real world places he went to! i dont think he likes to make shit up, he just likes to record things. if he wasnt from a violent militaristic society he would have been an ambassador, fr. I think this man would vibe w The Little Mermaid and not fucking get why lol Mark wants to watch something else as a kid and Nolan is just like no. we are watching the one w the fish girl who collects human artifacts. Nolan not getting why Part of Your World makes him emotional. and thus Mark's penchant for imprinting on redheads also comes from somewhere...
hybrid Mark's dentist thinking the kid's jaw must have been shattered but no, he doesnt have a jawbone, he just has teeth. how they managed to grow into a proper jawbone shape he has no idea.
poor little mark able to run around at the height of summer and be totally fine but the moment it gets even slightly fucking cold he's turning fucking blue. its why he layers up his outfits ! we've cracked canon : p its why he wears a sweater all the damn time over long sleeves. it doesnt even occur to him to change outfits until one day he realizes since he got his powers he isnt so damn cold all the time.. or him getting the very shitty human viltrumite combo of being constantly sweaty because his body just wants to always be colder. damp Mark. makes it awkward to have friends when you look like a damp paper towel all the time and no one wants to shake your clammy hands. him just trying to douse himself in antiperspirant once he gets older. then his skin is just gross for different reasons.
Poor Peter. finally works up the courage to be like, I can't really tell you why, but I think your husband is Dangerous and I know its not my place but I am Concerned : / and Debbie who saw her husband toss a tank at someone on the news the other week before she flipped the channel to have something nice on while she was cooking just being like, yeah ??? it's fine : ) Peter webbing his own face for earplugs bc he's staying at the same hotel as them. he tries to escape it by going out on patrol while traveling but since he doesnt want ppl to know spidey is apparently world trottiing w peter parker he puts on a different outfit and suddenly the gda is on his ass again but this time its bc they think hes a new hero lol no escape.
omg. villain lair real estate Debbie having her son build elaborate diamond statues for clients. Mark did it for awhile, but he just wasn't sure if it would stay fun for long so he moved on, yknow? Rex just having to be like, did you make the giant supersized diamond drill bit that was almost used to cut me open last week?? and Mark just being like, hmm.. idk. maybe? it just wasnt active enough for him, he wanted a career where he wouldnt have to sit at a work bench.
While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom
OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.
I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.
I love thinking about these, omg.
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blackpensils · 3 days ago
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Does Astea keep the title of heir or would it go down to one of her more willing siblings like nemesis or galvatron since I think you mentioned she does not have neither decepticon or autobot badges? Actually follow up to the other question before, what do the deceptions think of that choice? or would they not care since things have changed by then?
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Astraea is and always wil remain the heir of the Decepticons even after gaining three younger siblings carried by Optimus (and more carried by Megatron thousand and thousand years later that I don't think I've mentioned yet 🤔). The reason being because Astraea is the only one, aside from Orion, that has the capabilities and personality to handle it.
While Nemesis is the only one of the siblings that actually takes on a Decepticon brand, she is not leader material. Nemesis is muscle, through and through. Drop them in a war zone and they'll thrive, but drop Nemesis in a council meeting and ask her to perform politically and diplomatically, she'd fail miserably. Nemesis is very much aware of this, though, and has no interest in anything political, it bores her.
Orion is non verbal and hates people. He'd rather stay in the library reading than interacting with people, this sometimes includes his own family.
Galvatron is too fascinated and idolises the way Megatron was during the Great War for Megatron to comfortably entrust him with the Decepticon faction. By the time Megatron steps down, it's been millions of years since Astraea's birth and Autobots and Decepticons live together in peace on Cybertron, hence why the three younger megop kids were born in Kaon. Galvatron would absolutely threaten that peace too much and would try to establish a dominance and official regime that made him the ruler of Cybertron if he were given the title of leader of the Decepticons.
So while Astraea doesn't actually have aligience to either Decepticons or Autobots because she never got a brand from either, that gives her a neutral outlook on it. She grew up while there were still peace negotiations going on between Autobots and Decepticons. The official treaty that allowed Decepticons back to Cybertron didn't solidify until she was around 50 years old, that whole time she lived on Earth. She has an view on life that is definitely based on those first formative years. She wasn't used to luxury and a regal lifestyle like the other megop kids who spent their whole childhoods being raised in a castle. Astraea grew up (the first 50 years) in an industrial warehouse and around humans.
So I think that by the time that Astraea would become the next leader of the Decepticons, so many millions of years have passed that a majority of them don't really care that she never allied herself officially with the Decepticons until that point. It would be the norm for civilian frames and war frames to form couples and have sparklings, for Autobots to be together and conjunx Decepticons, etcetera, that it wouldn't be odd that the first sparkling born in 11.5 million years is the one to take her sire's throne.
In fact, I think Astraea would be seen very much as a hope for the Decepticons. Both as a sparkling and as an adult. She is the first sparkling born in a long time, but she is also the first war frame spark aside from rhe Constructicons to be mined from anywhere. Yes, the jettwins are definitely originally intended to be war frames with them originally being seeker frames (I will get there too in ACL but I don't know how far into that I'll go, so I'm mentioning it right now), but they are still undeniably in civilian frames. So Astraea would be celebrated and well loved by most, because she's Megatron's sparkling. At least by the Decepticons that are loyal to Megatron and not just the Decepticon cause. Characters like Tarn would despise her for being carried by an Autobot Prime.
Astraea is literally referred to as 'Princess' by most Decepticons and as 'Megatron's heir' when mechs aren't talking about her to her face.
I hope that answers it. I hope to one day feature the adult, or at least older version, of the megop kids in a story when I'm done with ACL so I will explore the dynamic between them and the Autobots and Decepticons (if I manage to get there).
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bloodybathtubs · 4 months ago
Text
For RXE: MTMF
Word Count thus far: 8267 words (236 added today), I'm still on page 20
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