#I don't know how I feel about ascension still because for now.. he's still so soft to my tav? yes possessive and power hungry but otherwise?

[prismatic-starstuff]

okay was anyone going to tell me that ascended Astarion calls MC 'little love' and 'my treasure' in the smoothest most sultry voice I've ever heard or was I just supposed to get absolutely smacked around the head with that knowledge myself—

[eldrichthingy]

I'm so unwell about Dark Urge and Astarion walking around covered in blood. In my head they're holding hands while doing so btw

[messiahzzz]

i have seen several posts around that addressed how discouraging gale from taking the crown of karsus is “keeping him from realizing his true potential.” that tara is merely upset at his choice, instead of being utterly devastated at the loss of her little love. that it’s not a bad ending per se because to get there he didn’t need to sacrifice 7000 innocent souls in the process. gale isn’t continuing the cycle of abuse either, he still appears to love tav and does come back for them to offer them ascension. he wants them to be equal, so it can’t possibly be an unhealthy dynamic, right?

but what of gale himself, his own convictions, values, and everything he holds dear? everything flawed and human that shaped him into the person he is?

player: are you saying you want to ascend? claim godhood?

gale: no, not like that. i don't want to join them. i want to better them. a god's powers, paired with a mortal conscience, a mortal heart.

gale’s motivation for acquiring godhood is that he will able to aid mortals in a way no other god has ever done before. he won’t hide behind pretense nor require blind devotion of his followers. he will understand and be able to empathize. he wholeheartedly believes that he will be different - he will act.

gale: [..] the gods could aid us if they wished, but instead they cower behind ao. so let us act ourselves.

gale believes that by becoming a god he will kill two birds with one stone: aid mortals and acquire enough power to quash any of his insecurities and enemies in the process. that by ridding himself of every perceived flaw he'll finally feel like he will have enough to offer - maybe, just maybe he'll even be content. his flaws are merely holding him back from becoming the best version of himself, and by ridding himself of everything fallible, he will be whole. maybe this is what all of his suffering has led up to. maybe the orb chose him. maybe the reason he had to endure all the pain, isolation, and excruciating loneliness was so that he could realize that he was meant for something even greater. after all, power feeds ambition. and what is more powerful than a god? his convictions were certainly naive, he possesses enough knowledge to know better. don't get me wrong, part of him definitely wants to spite mystra a lil. but his intentions at that time were mostly pure. a reflection of his self-hatred and feelings of inadequacy.

player: this is wrong, gale. that power will corrupt you, even if you can seize it.

gale: it won't, i swear to you. it's merely a tool - a means to an end.

once we meet gale at the party in his new godlike form, it is apparent that even with all the power at his fingertips, he has reached no greater knowledge about himself. his insecurities are still as present as before, he merely is less subtle in his compensation - repeatedly highlighting his grandeur and how dull life on faerun is compared to the wonders of elysium. it is also genuinely crushing to see how little he thinks of himself even now.

gale: i was nothing. a drifting dust mote of a wizard, abandoned by my goddess, my powers lost, my reputation destroyed. and look at me now. i'm their proof.

any perceived dismissal of his Greatness™ is met with immediate disdain.

gale: a bold decision to treat a divine being with such cold indifference.

nodecontext: aloof, annoyed you weren't impressed with him

gale: you mortals do love to live dangerously, don't you?

nodecontext: the slightest hint of a threat - you've probably made an enemy here today. or at least, you've lost a friend.

he is still desperate to impress. emphasizing what an honor it is that a new-born god chose to bless their little soiree with his presence. gaze upon all his divine glory! gale has now become the embodiment of everything he criticized about the gods. his original intentions and plans are discarded and long forgotten. he assuages his erstwhile companions by telling them to simply pray to him, in case they should ever require aid. if they're lucky and their ambition pleases him, he might even deliver.

player: what does the 'god of ambition' offer to his followers?

gale: i 'offer' them nothing. i inspire them to seize their destinies for themselves.

player: interesting, so you help mortals help themselves?

gale: precisely. though that isn't to say i'm averse to the odd bit of direct encouragement.

gale: [..] my aims are set a little higher than offering cursory blessings to just any half-decent spellcaster.

gale: regardless, ethical quandaries are more the remit of my mortal devotees. they do love to talk, and faerun is starting to listen.

aiding "any half-decent spellcaster" is unbefitting of his status. he isn't concerned with questions of ethics and morality either. deeming such matters beneath his divine capabilities.

once gale has ascended and established his domain, what remains of the gale we knew? what of his mortal heart?

minthara: your ambition is not cruel, but you fear that if you indulge it, you will lose yourself in the mysteries of the weave and unravel the world.

minthara: you are afraid of so many things, and it is that fear that keeps you true to yourself.

gale did lose himself and ultimately became one of his biggest fears. considering that his existence as a being of pure ambition leads him to constantly seek out greater heights, it isn't farfetched to believe that raphael's prediction will indeed come true.

player[astarion]: ambition? finally, a god i can get behind...

gale: i assure you, this is merely the prelude to a far grander vision. elysium's in for something of a shake-up.

all that remains of gale is a thin veneer of the person he used to be. what he presents is a hollow echo of the old gale. he does retain some of his mannerisms and quirks, but he is definitely a lot colder and more condescending. if his personality already changed that drastically after a duration of only 6 months, what will he inevitability turn into when he has eternity at his disposal?

essentially, you are aiding gale in the eradication of himself. eradicating everything about him that made him into the loveable, charismatic, awkward, kind, buoyant person he was. everything about him that he perceived as defective, flawed, and lesser-than. before, his hubris was merely an expression of his own discontentment and low self-worth, but now he is hubris incarnate. all of his worst qualities have been amplified.

gale: i am ambition incarnate. as indistinguishable from that most potent sensation as mystra herself is from the weave. and word is spreading.

nodecontext: palpable, almost unsettling excitement from him - hint of megalomania

he put his trust in tav, trusting their judgment and relying on them to nudge him in the right direction. after all, they had plenty of opportunities to show him that they are an ally worth following and confiding in. but in the end, the prospect of what he could be, the things he could give them, the enemies he could yet conquer, won over the desire to simply accept him and help him rebuild a life on solid ground. tav denied him the unconditional love he craves most out of their own selfish desires.

tara: you were looking out for him. i expected better of you.

as i've already mentioned, gale desires nothing more than to be seen, accepted, loved, and valued. having a partner who wholeheartedly supports and believes in him is enough to make him feel content. most importantly - he just wants to live. to enjoy life with everything it has to offer. his ambition can’t be quenched because he hungers still. believing that only by acquiring more power will he finally be enough and reach said acceptance.

we see in his good ending that his own contentment was even able to influence and (temporarily) sate the orb's ever-present hunger:

gale: [..] or perhaps the orb's hunger was fuelled by my own, and my contentment influences it in much the same way.

gale: that's how i feel with you - content. it's a rather unfamiliar feeling, i must say. not something gale of waterdeep ever craved.

it is devastating that he doesn't reach the same feeling of fulfillment if he chooses to pursue godhood, and is instead compelled to continuously surpass his own accomplishments. not being granted rest or reprieve.

gale: i achieved everything we hoped i would, and still i'm not good enough for you?

gale pursuing godhood isn't evidence that he "has been evil all along" or that he "just waited to be unleashed" either. we can't diminish tav's influence in this outcome, they are after all an extension of the player. able to steer every companion toward a path of redemption or to enable them in their worst traits. fandom has already established that by letting astarion ascend you are actively supporting him in becoming the very thing he despises most, putting your own ambitions and idea of what you want him to be above his healing, this is no different.

tara: the gale i knew wasn't like this. he recognised his mistakes. he was contrite. all he wanted to do was live.

tara: unfortunately, he fell into company that turned his gaze towards foolishness. yes, i mean you.

player: gale is his own man, tara.

tara: false. he was mine. though now he belongs only to his own pride.

yes, the epilogue cutscene is beautiful and there is something bittersweet and romantic about his love for tav being one of the few emotions that remained a constant throughout the past 6 months. he didn't need to come back for them, but he did cause he loves them still. no matter how warped his definition of love may be now. while it is abundantly clear that tav ranks lower on his priority list than they did before, his commitment remains.

gale fears isolation, hoping to never return to the time when he was hopeless and alone, stuck inside his tower. by heading in this direction he is once again creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

tara: [..] if i pretended you hadn't turned tail on every lesson you set out to learn, i'd have no right to call myself your friend.

morena may as well have already resigned herself to her son’s death. elminster partly blames himself. for his lapse in judgment, as well as being the one who plucked him from obscurity in the first place. mourning the kind, bright-eyed boy who cried at the scorched roses in his neighbor's garden. tara won't be here anymore to care and look out for him either. he has lost his oldest and dearest friend, the one who witnessed his downfall from grace and never left his side. who believed him to be the finest mind AND the finest wizard she's ever had the pleasure to know. who was certain that he’d find a way out of any crisis no matter the circumstances. ...and if tav declines his offer to ascend with him? what does he have left?

gale: yes, i am rather radiant, aren't i?

tara: don't flatter yourself, gale. you've debased yourself in ways i could never have fathomed.

tara: goodbye gale, i hope the heavens are worth it.

gale’s godhood ending deals with the loss of humanity, the loss of oneself, and everything one holds dear. it is a devastating and bone-chilling narrative. it is a tragedy.

gale: i hope you don't think less of me. great ambition should not come at the expense of what you already hold dear. i see that now.

if gale could see himself, he would be horrified at the losses he deemed necessary to get here. he would be horrified at what he’s become.

[kirain]

I saw a comment of yours about Ascended Astarion and I just wanted to say him sacrificing 7000 bloodthirsty vampires that can't control their bloodlust isn't a bad thing. If anything it's a mercy killing. People enjoy Ascended Astarion because it's cathartic for a lot of people who've suffered similar abuse. You lack empathy.

I think you may have the wrong person, because I've never commented on ascended Astarion. The only time I've come relatively close was when I discussed Neil Newbon's stance on him in the comments of a viral post, where a Tumblr user got mad at him for saying, "Meh. He's not for me." And even then, I made it abundantly clear that I don't have a problem with people who enjoy ascended Astarion. I was more so defending Neil for having a preference, which he's allowed to have. Is that what you're talking about? Because I haven't discussed ascended Astarion anywhere else. 😅

As for your comment ... what? First of all, an unconsensual sacrifice isn't a mercy killing, it's murder. They didn't want to die. Those innocent people—and yes, they are innocent; Cazador captured and enslaved them—don't simply die. As per the infernal contract, they go to hell. Specifically to Mephistopheles, the second most powerful and cruel archdevil in the hells. They will suffer for all eternity. That's not merciful. Personally, I'd rather be an undead spawn who has to drink rat blood every now and then.

Second, if you feel that way about all those spawn, then you should keep the same energy for Astarion, because he's the same as them. The only difference is they haven't had a chance to live in the real world or learn to control their hunger. Now, I do agree setting thousands of spawn loose on the Sword Coast is a lot, and potentially dangerous for the living, but the Gur will keep an eye on them, as is their oath. If you let them go, you give them a choice. They're still slaves to their hunger, and they likely always will be, but they get to choose how to satisfy it. If they truly can't resist harming others, then the Gur (and paladins) will surely kill them; which sounds horrible, but at least they'll be spared a gruesome afterlife.

Cazador took their choice away, as he did with Astarion. If they deserve to die, if they don't deserve a chance to prove they can live peacefully in Faerûn, then the same goes for Astarion. That's part of what makes his ascension so hypocritical. He's no better than Cazador, in the sense that he takes their agency away and uses them for the exact same purpose. Those spawn even could've been Astarion. He just so happened to be the "lucky" one who had a parasite crawl into his head. He's special to the player because we know him, but he could've been any of his siblings. He is all 7,006 of those spawn.

I will admit I didn't ascend Astarion, as I personally think it's the worst path for him, but you have it backwards. I didn't deny him ascension because I lack empathy. I denied him ascension because all I have is empathy, and that extends to characters who aren't the main focus of the game. You do what makes you happy, but I don't think becoming the worst version of yourself is healing, and I care about Astarion (and the people around him) too much to watch him continue the cycle. Sebastian, Dalyria, Chessa, all the others trapped in the cages—they have names and they're victims, too. For me, the most cathartic moment of Astarion's quest was when he realised it and set them free.

[thatfreshi]

It's Over (Astarion x Reader)

Hella angst. Will most likely write a part two because I can't see them sad for too long :(

Tw - gore, couple arguing, panic attack

Recommended Song: hoax - Taylor Swift

It's time. Astarion rips Cazador's body from the coffin, bloodlust in his eyes. You've had your doubts about the rite, about Astarion ascending, but he seemed insistent. He whispered sweet things about how he only wanted to keep both of you safe, and it made your skin crawl. Your precious lover, the pale vampire you came to love, he wanted that horrific power for himself, but at what cost?

"Astarion, stop."

His eyes meet yours.

"What my dear? Want to drink me in before I become the ascendant?"

"You don't know what you're doing."

He scoffs.

"Sure I do. Sacrifice the spawn, get rid of Cazador, leave the past behind! We can leave it all behind."

"You'll become just like him, you can be better than this."

"As if I could ever be the monster he is."

Astarion goes to start the ritual, to become something he was never meant to be. Something in you simply snaps, and you grab for your knife.

"What do you need that for?"

Your breathing gets heavy. Thoughts of your adventures, how long it took you to get here, how badly he wanted this, to finally feel safe. He can't help but stare at your shaking figure, wondering what the sudden stress is all about. You say nothing, instead taking a few steps towards the center of the room, by the vampire lord's defenseless body.

"Tav, what are you-"

And suddenly you're on your knees, plunging your knife into Cazador's chest, letting the blood spurt out of his skin, flying into your eyes.

"TAV!"

Astarion scrambles to fight the knife out of your hands, ignoring your tears. His master is already gone though, long gone, his lifeless corpse bleeding out all over the floor. He's frantic, your limbs crashing against each other.

"What have you done?!"

His cries turn into a shout, somewhere warbled between fear and anger.

"He was mine Tav, you knew he was mine!"

Checking for any sign that the vampire is still alive, he has trouble catching his breath. He quickly comes to his feet, realizing it's a fruitless endeavor. The vampire spawn mumbles to himself.

"It can still work, it has to work."

You get up to follow him, trying to get him to turn and face you.

"My lo-"

"Don't! You said you'd help me, you said you'd help me do this!"

Tears start to form in his eyes as the crushing anxiety turns his breathing into a choked wheeze, the beginning of a panic attack ensuing.

"I- I can't- you said."

"Aster, Aster listen to me, please."

You desperately try to hold onto him as he breaks from your grasp, becoming more scattered. He tries to form another sentence, filled with rage and sorrow.

"You... you lied to me! I-"

His body starts to crumble into yours, unsure of where else to go.

"I know. I'm sorry my love. I'm sorry."

The two of you come to the ground, him lying in your arms.

"I'm so sorry Astarion. I did what I had to, I couldn't see you become that monster. I just couldn't lose you like that."

He tries to choke out words in his mumbling breath.

"Hush, you're not breathing. I need you to breathe."

The rest of your companions watch on, knowing this was the plan if you couldn't get Astarion to give up the rite. Most of them can barely watch as he falls apart. You try to rub up and down his back, setting some kind of pace for his breath, but he just keeps trying to talk.

"How could you do this to me..."

It stings, making you wonder if you were wrong, if he'll hate you after this. He probably hates you right now.

"I know, I'm sorry."

He wasn't wrong. After wishing to complete the ascension for so long, ever since Raphael told him of the rite, it felt terrible to take it from him like this. But you knew better, that deep down you were saving him. You just didn't yet know at what cost. He continues to sit in your embrace, and you keep whispering sweet words. At some point his breathing starts to even out, but he just sobs more and more. You can hear Shadowheart and Gale murmuring behind you, somewhere that feels so far from this moment.

"Why?"

His question distracts you from the conversation off in the distance. You don't even know what to say. What in this moment could possibly convince him that this is for the best? He's just scared. He's always been scared, but he doesn't have to become the fear.

"You would've lost yourself. We all would've lost you Aster. I would've lost you."

He almost tries to argue with you, but loses his voice in the misery. It's over. He can't complete it now. You've made his decision for him.

When it comes time to go, he doesn't walk alongside you. The group makes their way back to the inn, and he simply silently walks amongst your companions, as he often did before you ever fell in love. Shadowheart makes her way to the back of the group.

"You did what you had to do. He'll see that eventually."

You liked her words, now you just had to believe them.

Despite the obvious tension, you end up in your room together, and for the first time in a long time he doesn't yearn for your touch. He lays on the bed as far as he can from you, leaving the blankets and sheets up to your discretion. There's not a thought behind his eyes, just shock, and that nagging fear that won't go away.

"I love you."

Astarion doesn't say it back, instead finding that it's too hard to try and sleep in the same room as you. He quickly gets up and storms out of the room, slamming the door. Your tears fall into the sheets he left you with. He ends up knocking on Gale's door, not sure where else to go. Usually he'd make fun of the wizard for various reasons, but he just averts his gaze, until he lets him in.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Gale asks, clearly very tired from today's events.

"No. I just want to be angry."

The man of the weave sighs.

"We all would've done the same. Tav was just the one to execute it."

"There's a very big difference in saying you'd do something, and actually doing it."

Gale lets the conversation go, allowing a space for Astarion to sleep on the bed, grabbing a spare blanket from the chair in the corner.

"They really love you. I know it may not seem like it right now, but Tav loves you more than I've ever seen anything be loved."

"Did I come here to be lectured?"

"Ugh, no. But you can't stay mad at them forever Astarion."

"I'll be the judge of that."

The next morning join your companions downstairs for a sloppily prepared breakfast. Wyll and Lae'zel look prepared to take on the day, talking about Githyanki fighting techniques. Shadowheart and Halsin look over your stock of herbs and potions, and Karlach helps Gale serve up food. Astarion is nowhere to be found. The wizard must've seen the worry in your eyes.

"He's in my room."

You let out a silent 'oh,' and take a serving of breakfast. After a couple minutes of moving the mixture around, you can't seem to force yourself to eat.

"Just go check on him, you're not fooling anyone."

Shadowheart gives you a sad smile. You pass her your food and go back upstairs, finding Gale's room. A soft knock against the door, the sound of the bed creaking inside.

"Aster, my love?"

No response. Against your better judgement, you open the door slowly.

"I don't really feel like talking Tav."

He's reading some tome Gale had lying around, trying to distract himself.

"I know. I just wanted you to know, I really am sorry."

Astarion sighs, setting the book down on the mattress.

"Alright, so we are talking then! Great, whatever you want."

"Don't be like that."

"Be like what? Be mad that you made a very important choice for me, against my will?"

You close the door behind you, knowing it's probably going to get ugly.

"Don't shut me out and pretend like we don't need to have this conversation, is what I meant."

"Fine. We'll have this conversation then."

He checks his nails, trying his best not to look you in the eye.

"I told you what I wanted, I told you what was important to me, and you lied. You lied and said you'd help me get what I want, what I wanted for both of us."

"I didn't think there would be any convincing you until you saw it all again."

"What? All of my mistakes? All the poor innocent people I lured to Cazador? No, not even Sebastian could stop me from finally having the power I deserved. But you? You thought that was your place?"

You squeeze your fist, trying to think of a way to reason with him.

"Even Cazador was like you once. And you saw what he became."

"You're implying I would enslave people and cut them up for fun? After all I've been through?"

"No! I'm just saying it changes people, that kind of power consumes you."

"And who are you to choose that for me? After I've had a million choices made for me, you thought that's what I'd want?"

He stands now, walking over to finally face you.

"I trusted you, and you lied."

Tears fill his eyes again.

"I wanted this for both of us, so we could both be safe forever, and you took that from me!"

"Do you think that's what I would've wanted? To be your little pet? Sit in some grand palace while you have all the power you could ever want?"

"I'd never treat you like that, and you know that Tav."

"Yes, but a vampire lord would, and that's what you'd be. You're not some special case Astarion! You don't become a true vampire, especially from a rite like that, and still be a good person."

"I never wanted to be a good person Tav. I just wanted to be free."

You try to grab onto his hand. At first he avoids your touch.

"You are free. We're free, we can do whatever we want! I gave us that!"

He almost wraps his hand in yours, but pulls back.

"I don't know that though. I'll never truly know that. Cazador may be dead, but now all those spawns are in the Underdark. They could try to come for me, or there could be some Gur on the prowl."

"And we'll all keep you safe. I'll keep you safe my love, I swear it."

For the first time since you've entered, he stares straight at you the whole time he speaks.

"I don't know if that's enough to keep me from hating you right now."

His words stab holes in your heart.

"You don't mean that."

"Don't you tell me what I fucking mean. No one gets to control me anymore. Not you, not Cazador, no one."

"I don't want to control you!"

"What do you call taking my choice away then? You're no better than him."

You almost gasp, breath caught in your throat, stunned by the fact that he would dare compare you to that man.

"Fine. You think I'm just like him? You think I want to control you? I'll make it real easy then. It's over, you can do whatever you want and you don't have to ever take me into consideration again!"

He tries to throw more venom at you, but you leave and slam the door before he can get the words out. You don't even stop by your room to grab anything, instead you storm out of the inn, walking past all your companions without a word. Shadowheart tries to call after you, but to no avail. You're lost in the crowds almost immediately, not even sure where you're going. Just away from him. Away from the only thing you've truly loved.

[the-artist-grimm]

I am curious, how is Anthea handling Ascension/infant godhood in your au?

For the first few months-not well. At all.

To go from prior to that having hopes for the future for the first time in their life, their confession plans for Narinder, their plans of showing him and the twins places in person, their own quietly brewing dreams of being a family with them and starting a proper life with them-something they never let themselves consider out of guilt of surviving, to Narinder out of the blue seeming to 180 his entire personality and their relationship by demanding the lamb sacrifice themselves, killing the twins by accident and through that Anthea realizing they had long been viewing Baal and Aym as their own kids, to then learning it was all because Narinder heard one out of context conversation and in their eyes jumped the gun from there...

They're a parent in mourning, a first time almost-lover nursing a broken heart, yet they have just been placed in a position of power that's the worst kind for a person raised to put themselves aside for those depending on them. (The lamb was an older sister for only 8 years of their initial 26, and yet STILL view themselves as one because that was the role they were brought up to fulfil. The child who grew up too fast because the parents needed help and the younger kids needed someone else to be strong to remain kids a little longer. They are the 'big sis' for their cult, someone younger members can look up to for comfort/protection and older members can depend on. That persona was what held back years of guilt, resentment, and grief)

For the first four months it's a game of pretending everything is fine-hold sermon, ignore Narinder assisting the follower assigned to watch him, run errands, head out on a crusade or down into Purgatory by the whims of another god, repeat. Over and over while they're not sleeping and barely eating. The crown makes it so they don't 'need' to eat or sleep, so they don't.

Everyone in the cult knows the lamb isn't ok, heck a lot even start feeling bad for Narinder too since everyone begins to put together that this is a miscommunication issue that now has two grieving parents refusing to talk (prior to it all most cultists had assumed the two were already married with how Anthea spoke of him and the kits), but no one's in a high enough position to say anything. The Lamb won't talk to Narinder about what happened, and he won't approach them out of guilt.

It's only after the twins get revived do things start to shift-with Narinder and the Lamb kinda having no choice but to interact suddenly the lamb has someone reminding them to sleep, bringing them meals, calling them out on how they're in a way punishing themselves and that even a god needs people (he ascended with siblings to support one another, the lamb ascended alone). It gets easier as they re-learn how to be friends, and even more-so after they eventually talk over what happened and realize/remember there's still a love there.

[cowboyemeritus]

Cenerentola (Frater Imperator/Reader)

Summary: Copia hosts a gala to celebrate his ascension to head of the Clergy. When things go haywire, it's up to you to keep him safe. In the process, it becomes impossible to avoid your feelings for him any longer.

Content Warning: mild violence, a singular Monty Python reference

Notes: me? writing sfw? it's more likely than you think.

i've been doing a lot of social dancing so naturally that made me think about dancing with copia. i am also a sucker anything remotely cinderella-esque lol. reader is sort of based on an oc of mine.

i don't really know how i feel about this — i had ideas for two related scenes and then had to fill in the gaps from there. sorry it's so long lmao

feedback is always welcome :)

Even amidst the sea of people below, it is impossible for you to miss him. Copia shines like the Morningstar, the candlelight glinting off the ruby brooches and bedazzled collar of his new, freshly pressed suit. All eyes are on him as he spins the delighted young Sister of Sin in his arms, leading her with grace and elegance through the steps of the fast-paced waltz. He’s changed so much in the years since you left the Ministry. Now, with his ascension to head of the Clergy, there are moments where he seems like an entirely different person, exponentially more confident and self-assured than you remember. 

You know his new demeanor, however, betrays a deep-seated anxiety, the product of years of vague threats on his life from the organization he’s now expected to lead. And surely, the irony is not lost on him that the very hall in which he is now dancing sits directly above the crypts, where the bodies of his assassinated brothers lay in eternal repose.

From your position, leaning against a column up on the balcony, you have the entire ballroom in your sights. Every step, every gesture, every side conversation, is under your scrutiny. This was by design. Although Copia, by some miracle, lived to see the end of his reign as Papa, the transition of power has not been an easy one. Threats abound, the old guard of the Clergy still dissatisfied with him, many enraged by his recent promotion. His mother’s scheming was meant to protect him, but now it seems to have backfired, putting him in more danger than ever before. While this gala serves as a way for him to potentially smooth things over with the Upper Clergy, asserting himself as Frater Imperator, he is also making himself vulnerable, open to attacks of all kinds.

As a favor to his predecessor, the woman who taught you everything you know, you begrudgingly agreed to provide additional security around Ministry headquarters. At first, returning to the Abbey, its halls so hauntingly familiar, reminded you of why you left in the first place: decadence, hypocrisy, lies — a message lost in a quagmire of sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll. Somehow, though, Copia and his ghouls have wormed their way into your frozen heart over these last few months. It was done before you even knew it was happening. Copia has this sort of magnetism about him, some preternatural force that makes it impossible not to be charmed. It was like this even when he was a shy, awkward cardinal. Because of this, although the Clergy wants him gone, he has the distinct advantage of a congregation that completely adores him.

The song ends, and Copia sweeps the Sister into a dip. She giggles, pressing a playful kiss to his cheek. Something in your chest pangs.

At the end of the day, you just work together. It would be foolish of you expect anything more. Still, there’s been an undeniable tension between the two of you since your return to the Ministry. You see the way he looks at you, the way he hangs on to your every word when you speak. But maybe you’re imagining it — you spend so much time around him that perhaps you’ve mistaken proximity for fondness.

You sense a familiar, fiendish presence approaching from behind. “You’re having fun,” Cirrus remarks, entering your field of vision. She has a flute of champagne in each hand and offers one to you. To maintain the illusion of normalcy you accept, taking a small sip of the bubbly, golden liquid.

“We’re on the clock,” you say, eyeing a small group of cardinals that have congregated near the refreshments table. They seem to be merely gossiping. Rain is stationed nearby, carefully observing. “No fun allowed.” The ghoul chuckles, leaning against the balcony railing on her forearms.

“I take it everything’s alright so far?” You nod, thinking back on the hours you spent painstakingly drawing sigils at various locations around the Abbey, setting up one massive alarm spell. If anything supernatural tries to get in, you’ll know. All that’s left is to be on the lookout for any natural, more human threats. You swallow down a lump in your throat, hoping your preparations will be enough.

“Try to relax, then,” Cirrus coaxes, sipping her own drink. There’s a pause. “You should go dance with him.” You feel your cheeks heat up, but keep your composure.

“I don’t have time to mess around,” you state bluntly. Your posture sags a bit. “He’s busy, anyway.” Copia is leading another Sister onto the dance floor, taking the starting position as the ghoul band strikes up another tune. You zero in on the hand resting on her hip, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. It looks like her dress doesn’t have any pockets; the probability of her concealing anything is low.

Cirrus places a clawed hand on your shoulder and gives you a playful jostle. “For you? He’ll make time.” You give her a quizzical look and she winks, straightening back up before taking her leave. “Do it!” She calls. “I’ve got good money on you two getting together!” Your mouth hangs slightly agape, watching as she descends the stairs to rejoin the party.

You take another, longer sip of your champagne, relishing in the sensation of bubbles tickling your tongue. It helps take the edge off, if only a little. You remain up on your perch for another long while. Copia eventually abandons dancing in favor of strolling through the crowd, greeting and shaking hands with various high-profile guests. It’s harder to keep track of him this way, even from your vantage point, so once your glass is empty you descend the stairs, entering the fray for yourself. To your relief, no one pays you any mind as you weave through the mass of bodies. You spot a truly nameless ghoul carrying a tray of empty glassware and flag them down, depositing your glass. You’re about to find a better place to camp out when someone taps you on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, signorina strega.” You turn and sure enough, it’s Copia. He’s holding out a hand. “May I have this dance?” Multiple pairs of eyes are now focused on you. Swallowing hard, you flush, smiling nervously. It’s a little more attention than you’d like, but you reason that within arms reach of him is the best place to be right now.

It’s completely logical, not motivated by anything else.

“Of course, Frater Imperator,” you reply, bowing your head slightly. You make it a point to use his full title in front of the guests. “I would be honored.” Gingerly, you take his hand, and he leads you to the dance floor. You pick up your pace a bit so that you’re able to whisper in his ear. “I’m not very good.” Copia gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Do not worry. Just follow my lead.” As the last few bars of the current song play, Copia guides you into the starting position, placing his right hand delicately on your hip and holding the left out for you to take. You try not to think about how, even through the leather of his gloves, his hand is so warm. Having difficulty looking him in the eye, you glance over his shoulder in the brief moment of silence between songs. You see Cirrus, Rain, and Swiss gathered by the refreshments table, watching you with shit-eating grins plastered across their faces. The air ghoul flashes you a thumbs-up and you have to resist the urge to destroy her with your mind.

“Ready?” As if on cue, the band resumes playing. You recognize the song instantly: Waltz No. 2, Shostakovich. How woefully on brand. The dance begins, Copia stepping forward with his left foot while you, mirroring him, step back with the right. It’s easy enough to follow him after that, stepping to your left as he steps right, then forwards to start all over again.

“One, two, three. One, two, three. You’re a natural.” Once you find a steady rhythm, you’re able to look up from your feet and actually start to enjoy the feeling of whirling around the room.

“How are things?” He asks, clearly trying to remain nonchalant. There are so many eyes on you, and from the crowd you sense intrigue, amusement, and a significant amount of jealously.

“Fine, so far,” you reply through a smile, trying to make it as difficult as possible for people to read your lips. Copia nods.

“Bene.” A few beats pass. “Thank you for all your hard work. I appreciate you coming back after...” He looks away for a moment. “I appreciate it.” You didn’t do it for him and he knows that, but his expression of gratitude makes heat bloom in your chest nonetheless.

“I’m glad I did,” you say without thinking. “This place is different now. Good different, because of you.” Copia smiles, the skin around the corners of his eyes crinkling. He raises his left arm and you pass under it in a spin, feeling lighter than air.

“I had hoped you would be able to enjoy yourself tonight,” he admits, a hint of guilt in his eyes. “Instead it seems you are just fretting over me.” You quirk an eyebrow at him.

“It’s that ego of yours I’m worried about,” you tease. “Pretty soon there won’t be room for anyone else in this Ministry.” Both of you laugh at this.

“I had better check myself, then,” Copia says, running a hand through his mousy brown hair. “I would hate to see you leave again.” That catches you off guard and you nearly trip, but his hand finds your hip again, keeping you stable. By now, you’re certain he’s noticed the blush on your cheeks.

“Don’t worry. I’m not-“

Somewhere, an invisible thread snaps. It makes your stomach lurch, the color draining from your face. You pause, your playful expression melting away as you try to pinpoint the source of the disruption. The South Wing. It’s approaching fast. When you return to this plane Copia is looking at you with concern.

“I have to go,” you say quietly. He doesn’t have time to respond before you exit the dance floor, heading for the large double doors at the other end of the ballroom. It’s hard not to shove people out of the way as you duck and weave through the crowd. Dewdrop is at the entrance, minding his post, but as you approach it’s clear from the rigidity of his small body that he’s been waiting for you. He follows you wordlessly out into the hall. Kicking off your heels, the two of you take off in the direction of the intrusion. You internally curse your foolishness for talking yourself out of wearing sneakers, or even flats.

“It’s something nasty,” he says once you’re out of earshot of any guests. You can only nod in agreement, hoping the two of you are enough to deal with whatever this foul thing is.

You round the corner to the South Wing and stop dead in your tracks. The sight before you makes your blood run could. Charging towards you is a hulking creature, easily Mountain’s height but with Aether’s bulk. It’s clearly a humanoid figure, but its edges are poorly defined, a mist-like quality to them. Still, you observe shapes that resemble horns and a tail, and that tells you all you need to know: a rogue ghoul, not bound to this plane by a contract. As such, it’s less of a consolidated form and more of rampaging ball of fiendish energy. This information helps you narrow down the list of potential culprits exponentially.

There’s no time to dwell on that, though. The creature is headed straight for you, no doubt attracted to the smell of your human flesh. Before you can react, Dew puts himself between you and the ghoul, ready to engage. He’s strong in spite of his small size, but the odds of him defeating this massive a beast on his own, especially one this energized, are slim. You realize he’s buying you time to cast a spell, and immediately you formulate a plan in your head. It will take some time to accomplish, but if he can hold off this monstrosity for long enough, you should be able to successfully banish it back to the Pit without endangering him as well. Planting your feet, you take a deep breath, letting your eyes shut. There’s a whoosh of warm air as Dew charges the rogue ghoul. Energy begins to flow through you as you chant under your breath, crafting the spell. A metallic taste fills your mouth, the air crackling with static.

You’re about halfway through the incantation when the sound of a body hitting the floor breaks through your wall of concentration. The creature roars, forcing you to crack an eye open just in time to see it lunge at you. It’s covered in scratches and burns, but Dew is ultimately the one on the ground, desperately trying to pick himself back up. You’re only just able to side-step, the spell breaking as you focus all of your energy on surviving the next few seconds. You’re frantically backpedaling when it swipes at you, claws catching you in the side. You cry out as it tears through the flimsy red fabric of your dress, leaving three long gashes in its wake that begin bleeding immediately. Though profoundly painful it’s a superficial wound; if you had been stationary, there’s no doubt it would have disemboweled you. 

Your back hits the wall. Dew shouts your name but you just stand there, frozen. The creature is about to pin you when a large body slams into it from the side, knocking it to the ground. You immediately recognize the form as Aether, and looking in the direction from whence he came you see Cirrus, Swiss, Rain, Mountain, Sunshine, and Phantom, all approaching with teeth and claws bared. Cirrus gets to you first, grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the scuffling ghouls.

“Are you-“ She finally notices you clutching your side, blood seeping into your dress. “Oh shit, are you okay?” You nod, lifting your hand to show her it’s minor. Phantom is helping Dew to his feet. He seems alright other than a few scratches, the fall appearing to have knocked the wind out of him more than anything.

“I’m fi-” Your heart nearly stops. “Is someone watching Imperator?”

“Cumulus and Aurora are with him,” she says. “They’ve got it under control.” You let out a relieved sigh, shoulders dropping. It’s only now you that you notice how much tension you’ve been holding in your body all night. Your body trembles with excess adrenaline.

Aether lets out a frustrated growl. You barely have time to look in his direction before the rogue ghoul, having slipped out of his grasp, hurls itself out of one of the long, gothic windows lining the hallway. Bits of stained glass go flying, scattering across the marble floor tiles. The creature is smart enough to recognize it’s been outnumbered. One-by-one the members of the pack leap through the broken portal, none of them too keen on letting the intruder escape. Dew tries to follow, clearly excited about the prospect of a hunt, but Cirrus shoos him away from the window.

“Go clean yourselves up,” she orders, perched on the ledge. It’s directed mostly at you. “We’ll take it from here.” With that, she jumps down, disappearing from view as the sound of the pack whooping and howling fades into the distance.

Twenty some-odd minutes and a round of healing magick later, you and Dew are sitting out on the steps of the back patio, passing a cigarette back-and-forth. By now, the rogue ghoul has most certainly been torn to ribbons. There could still be threats lurking, but for as much as you’d like to go find Copia, you’re nowhere near presentable and would prefer not to incite panic, or suspicion, among the guests. Besides, you’re hardly capable of doing anything now, your energy completely drained by the evening’s events. You only had enough juice left to stop your cuts from bleeding; anything physically strenuous would certainly reopen the wounds. For now, you’re content to enjoy the cool autumn air, knowing he’s in capable hands.

“There you are.” Speak of the Devil. You look over your shoulder and Copia is stepping out into night, flanked by Cumulus and Aurora. Clutched in one hand are your strappy red heels, and it’s only now that you realize you’re still barefoot. Dew, with a quiet groan, rises to his feet and climbs the stairs, passing Copia as he descends.

“We’re going to go take care of this one,” Cumulus says, draping an arm over the fire ghoul’s shoulder. It’s hard to tell in the dark, but for a moment you swear she winks at you. Dew tries to shrug her off with a huff, and the girls giggle. Copia nods approvingly.

“Thank you, miei cari. We will debrief in the morning.” The three ghouls turn and step back inside, leaving you and Copia on the stairs. Your heart beats a little faster with the realization that you two are alone, although you tell yourself it’s because you won’t be able to defend him in this state. There’s definitely no other reason.

“Your glass slippers, my lady.” You roll your eyes and reach out to take your shoes from Copia, but he refuses to hand them over, kneeling on the stair below you. “Allow me, per favore.”

This might as well be happening. Lifting your foot up, you grant him permission to assist you. Copia slides the first shoe back on, holding your calf with one hand. Again, you can’t help but notice how warm and gentle his touch is. 

“I’m sorry for running off,” you say, needing to break the silence. “I hope you didn’t think that-“

“Not at all. I figured that something was, eh, ‘going down.’” When he looks up he finally notices the gashes in your side. He hisses, wincing. “Ahia! That looks like it hurts.”

You wave him off. “’Tis but a scratch.” He looks like he’s going to protest, clearly upset, but instead opts to tighten the strap of your shoe before moving on to the next foot.

“What happened?” He asks, starting the process over again.

“Rogue ghoul,” you explain, looking out into the forest at the edge of the lawn. “Likely the work of Cardinal Ambrosius. He’s gotten in trouble for trying to make contracts before. Doesn’t look like he’s quite figured it out, though. I can have his head on your desk by Monday morning, if you’d like.” 

Copia laughs through his nose. “You are absolutely vicious, mia strega.”

You shrug. “Just doing my job.” Once Copia finishes with your other shoe he stands, offering you his hand.

“Walk with me?” 

You give him a hesitant look. “I don’t want to keep you from your guests.” He scoffs.

“I have had enough of those two-faced pricks for one night. A lifetime, even.” His expression softens. “But if you are not up for it, I-“

“No!” You shoot up, taking his hand. It startles him a little bit. “I’m good. Let’s go.” Copia smiles, the moonlight sparkling in his eyes. Like an obedient  lamb, you let him lead you down the rest of the stairs and across the patio to where a walkway wraps around the side of the building. He’s taking you to the gardens, it seems. Though your legs feel like jelly, the walk isn’t very long, which you’re thankful for.

The gardens aren’t really a sight to behold this time of year, but the full moon bathes everything in a mesmerizing blue glow, giving the space a dreamlike quality. The ballroom is just up another set of stairs, the music still audible where you emerge. You stop by the fountain, a marble visage of Lilith pouring water from a bottomless goblet. The water is still running, providing a little extra ambiance.

“Care to dance?” Copia asks. “We were so tragically interrupted before.”

“I…” Damn you and your nerves. You’re blushing again. “I don’t want to get blood all over you.”

Still, he persists, shrugging. “It’s a black suit.” It’s hard to say no to that face, but the McQueen jacket? Really? He gives you a pleading look and your resolve instantly crumbles.

“Alright.” It’s all but a whisper. “But go easy on me.”

You don’t wait for the next song to start, you simply get in position and go from there. It’s slower than what you danced to before, and you two end up just swaying to the rhythm rather than following any steps. That’s fine with you, your legs are still shaking, though you can’t tell if it’s from exertion or something else entirely.

“You look beautiful,” Copia says after a few measures. In that time you two have drifted closer together, only a few inches between you now. It’s hard to look him in the eyes when your face is so embarrassingly red, so you choose to stare at the ground.

“I’m a mess.” You laugh, but there’s something bitter in it as your eyes wander to your soiled dress, torn and bloody. There was a silly, naive part of you that had been thinking of Copia when you selected it for this evening. He stops swaying, a hand finding your chin and gently lifting your head. In your opinion, he’s the beautiful one, practically glowing in the moonlight. 

“Nonsense. You are the fairest of them all, cara.” You roll your eyes, but the corners of your mouth draw up into a slight smile.

“You’re getting your fairytales mixed up.” The two of you share a laugh before dissolving into a few moments of comfortable silence. You can tell he’s thinking about something, and he looks away, clearly nervous.

“Did you mean what you said about coming back?” The question catches you off guard for a second.

“I did,” you finally respond. “I really did. This place feels like home again.” Swallowing, you decide to take a bit of a leap. “Did you mean what you said, about me leaving?” You haven’t discussed it in a long time, but when you first took the job, the understanding was that this was only a temporary arrangement, lasting at least until Copia was able to settle into his new position. The notion pains you now. He nods.

“Yes. I-“ He chuckles. “I cannot stand the thought. Signorina strega, say that you will stay with us, with me.”

You don’t even need to think about it. “I will. Of course I will.” Copia beams, and the sight is breathtaking. There’s another pause, the air between you charged with an energy more powerful than magick. In the ballroom, the final notes of the song ring out, though you hardly notice. A bomb could go off next to you, but even that wouldn’t be enough to pull you out of this moment.

“Beautiful…” You don’t protest when he cups your flushed cheek, running his thumb across the bone. “May I kiss you?” It takes everything you have to not melt into a puddle.

“Please.”

And then his lips — Sathanas, they’re soft —  are on yours. Stars explode behind your eyes as he presses into you, the hand on your hip to pulling you in closer. His body is so warm against you; it feels so right. Your heart is racing, head spinning, as the euphoria overtakes you. 

He kisses you until you’re both out of breath. When he finally pulls away, you want to chase after him, to kiss him until your lips fall off, but then your knees buckle. Copia is just barely able to catch you, letting out a surprised little noise you can’t help but find adorable. He seems less concerned when he sees you’re grinning like an idiot.

“Alas, I have killed her!” You both laugh as he helps you regain your balance. “Why don’t we sit down?” Humming in agreement, he leads you over to the fountain, sitting you down on the edge. He brushes a strand of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. “Are you sure you are alright?”

“Just peachy,” you say, gazing at your intertwined hands. “It’s been a long night.” Feeling bold and still a bit woozy, you bring Copia’s hand to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Ah, young love.” You both jolt, heads snapping in the direction of the voice. Before you stand the glowing specters of Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator. The old man has a wistful, nostalgic look on his face, while your former teacher observes with her arms crossed. How long have they been watching you? “Just like we once were, don’t you think?” Imperator huffs.

“I sure hope not.” Her focus falls on you. The wrath in her translucent blue yes makes your blood freeze. “You think you’re good enough for my son, girl?” For a moment, you’re completely speechless.

“I-“

“Are you two serious right now,” Copia shouts. “Get out of here! Go on! Get!” He gets up from the fountain to shoo them away. Imperator gives you a pointed look before dissolving into a blue mist. Her message is clear: this isn’t over. You gulp.

Copia groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I cannot believe those two. I finally get to have my moment with you, and then they go and spoil it!” He flops back down next to you, sighing. “I am sorry, bella. I understand if-“

“Forget about it,” you say, holding up your hand to silence him. “Just kiss me, like, forever.”

Copia happily obliges.

[meanbossart]

I gotta ask this has been rattling in my brain for a while.

How did your DU drow react when Astarion asked him for help with the ritual? What were his thoughts? Or was he simply like stop it, no, we aren't doing that. OH, How did you picture your Astarion and DU Drow react after he "died" and was brought back? I know that we don't really get that much dialogue or reaction from the companions when that happens (Praying they add something later down the line in another patch)

Again thank you for sharing your beautiful art and fanfic with all of us its so refreshing to see!!! :)

OHOHOHO I'm glad you asked. I feel like that first question is very revealing of DU drow's character and It was a fun moment to ponder upon, because I think much of his behavior might lead one to believe he would be willing to go along with whatever Astarion wants, instead of pushing back at all, at least on the surface.

There's two factors at play here - first, DU drow knows of his heritage at that point, and thanks to the blank-slate treatment of the tadpole he's gotten a brand new perspective on it by the time he learns of the truth. Prior to losing his memories, accepting the fate that Bhaal had bestowed onto him felt like a choice and the best thing that ever happened to him in life, a confirmation that he was special and destined for greatness instead of just damned to the lowly existence he had endured so far. After his brain is scrambled however, DU drow got a taste of what true freedom feels like while unburdened by his upbringing; he's strong, he's powerful, he's self-sufficient, he enjoys the fruits of his labor without appreciating what got him here - he does not feel like he needs Bhaal, and the fact he ever did is laughable at best and violating at worse. This leads him to abhor the idea of depending on higher power to succeed instead of just raising oneself up by their own merits, or abiding by any mentality where you take orders from a source.

So when Astarion speaks of ascension, and especially after he learns of the source of that power (Infernal magic) he's disillusioned by it. While his memories are still hazy, the situation still feels awfully familiar to him. He doesn't think Astarion needs that higher power because he doesn't, either, and to take it would surrendering to fear and giving away even more of his autonomy than he already has.

And if that sounds a little self centered and like he's missing some of the point, it's because he is. While DU drow has fallen in love with Astarion by that stage in the story and wants what's best for him (he actually entertains the idea of him ascending up to a point - he wants him to be happy) he still has a difficult time empathizing with others. Ascending feels like a bad choice, but he can only justify that feeling from his own, narrow perspective.

(I mused on about characterization for too long again. So more under the cut - the sky is blue the sun is hot etc.)

Then there's the uglier, far more vulnerable and knee-jerk reaction to it. Now that Bhaal is no longer his purpose in life or the gift he once felt it to be, Astarion has taken it's place. Bhaal needed DU drow, in his eyes, much like Astarion does now. And as much as the vampire might have told him that his feelings on the matter changed (and that he was no longer manipulating DU drow for his own ends alone) he can't fathom a reason to be kept around unless he continues to be needed. He has slotted himself as Astarion's protector and devotee, and a vampire lord does not sound like they need much of either.

As much as he would never admit to it, DU drow does not know a life where he doesn't pledge himself, body and soul, to another purpose. He seems like he's happy to barrel through life directionless, but he needs something that anchors him or he has an inexplicable feeling that something terrible will happen. And honestly, maybe he's right - for a man who loves killing, he has a much easier time applying some strategy to that desire as long as he's doing it to some an specific end. Without Astarion, he probably feels like his choices are to either submit to his hedonism entirely or just lie down and die.

I don't need to spell out that this is pure codependency at it's finest.

So, when Astarion asks for help to complete the ritual he is conflicted. He wants to do whatever Astarion wants, but his brain is setting off alarm bells that, if he acquiesces, this will be the end for them and for him. And whatever comes after is a terrifying void of nothing. While he loves Astarion and ultimately does the right choice in pleading with him to give up on this power, his motivations are far from selfless or pure, as much as DU drow may not yet realize it.

This is why, after everything takes place, and specially once he severs his connection to Bhaal and his mind clears a little further, DU drow would go on to grapple with a lot of guilt for taking this opportunity away from Astarion, as I have touched on in the fic and will continue to do so. He's happy to feel like he has a reason to be kept around, but the inevitable hurdles that Astarion must continue to face as a spawn are obviously painful to witness. This is why he dives full force into trying to "fix" his vampirism instead, following that.

NOW, FOR THE NEXT AND HOPEFULLY FAR BRIEFER ANSWER TO YOUR OTHER QUESTION (spoiler alert, it's not brief at all, god damn it):

Yeah everyone just standing around in that scene feels little weird LOL not that it took away too much from how dope a cutscene it was (I probably watched it with the attentiveness of a sport's fan witnessing a footbal game turning in the last 10 minutes of a match) but If I were to embellish it instead of just going with something like "everyone is shell-shocked and paralyzed", I would say Shadowheart is the first to rush over to see if there's anything at all she can do to help, and probably the first (and only, in that moment) to break down crying. I think she very quickly composes herself after he's brought back, tells him he gave her the scare of a fucking lifetime and that he's the luckiest idiot in all of the realms - but that she's glad he's back. No hugs for him though LOL

Astarion is pretty much the opposite, that he would stand there in shock feels kind of apt to me. Like, holy shit, what just happened? Did one of the only good things in my life really just get taken away in the blink of an eye? Am I just cursed to have everything snatched away from my hand as soon as I'm growing comfortable with it? Yes, of course I am. What else did I expect. When DU drow pops back up he's probably like "Oh yeah I knew it'd be fine" (plus the little Twee comment, that was very funny to me.) and DU drow is similarly going "Oh definitely, it was my plan all along to be killed and then resurrected by an ominous house-keeper skeleton this whole time. Anyway, smooch for a dead man?"

This... Clearly very traumatic little incident is probably addressed by them only later. He gets a kiss and a hug at camp and a very stern "if you do that shit again I'm raising you back up just to kill you myself" from Astarion and Shadowheart's just down to drink in celebration and drown her trauma away for now lmao.

OH YEAH AND GALE WAS ALSO THERE. There was a whole Gale debacle in my playthrough but, the TL;DR, is that especially towards the end of the game he was Not in the best of terms with DU drow. Still, I obviously think he's an empathetic person and had his own "oh shit" moment. I'd say he takes this opportunity to try extending a very sincere hand out to him later that day, both for his courage in defying a god and dumb-luck - which DU drow completely passes on like an asshole and just gives him a cold-shoulder about, leaving feeling even more dejected than he already was and probably further cementing his choice to pursue the crown of Karsus later, despite DU drow's disapproval. Good job buddy!

Thank you so much for the ask and for your lovely compliments!!! Sorry for writing you a dang ESSAY 😬

[11queensupreme11]

Wouldn't it be cute if Percy and Poseidon had a family similar to the little Mermaid's family?

Just imagine that Percy convinced Poseidon to take it easy and not get her pregnant thousands of times in a row since it's dangerous for his health

(they have eternity together ahead of them, I don't know why he's so desperate for Lara to have sons now, one time or another she'll get pregnant with a boy)

Together they had some daughters, all with different personalities but all equally beautiful and loved by their mother

Percy is a very affectionate and kind mother who distributes attention from the eldest daughter to the youngest

Every night she tells stories and sings her daughters to sleep

I just imagine her walking down the hallway going from room to room to bed her daughters, to the younger ones she tells lovely fantasy stories, to the older ones (who think they are too old for bedtime stories) she gives kisses and hugs

She does all this while being watched by the watchful eyes of her husband who accompanies her and waits on the doorstep waiting for her to finish so they can go to the marital bed together

Poseidon doesn't need to sleep but I think that even then he would still do it just to be with his wife (it would be interesting if even after the ascension to Percy he still possessed some necessarily human characteristics), I just imagine that he lies down and watches to Percy while she slept peacefully

Honestly, she strikes me as the type to cuddle in her sleep so it would be adorable to imagine her hugging Poseidon's torso as she rests her head directly on top of his heart while he keeps his arm around her pulling her closer whenever she tries (unconsciously) to move away or change position

I just feel like he would be so affectionate and soft to her (not to his daughters, those poor girls are mostly ignored) looking at her with love and even doing useless human things just to please her (like wasting time sleeping or having a family dinner)

I shouldn't have watched The Little Mermaid with my little cousin because now all I'm imagining is that Poseidon has the same family dynamic as Arie's family with a few modifications

Like the main change is that Poseidon is obviously thousands of times more cruel and bloodthirsty than King Triton, he would also only be gentle with Percy, in fact if you look at the film you will notice that the King practically only focuses on Ariel and ignores the other daughters, so this dynamic would be the same with Poseidon just focusing on Percy

You know that scene from Little Time 2 where the king, queen and their daughters are swimming together? The one where he gives her a beautiful music box while her daughters watch? Well I'm imagining this scene with papaseidon

Just imagine him and his daughters are swimming together near an island, his older daughters are singing while his younger daughters are playing with the fish, Percy is propped up on a comfortable rock and Poseidon appears at her side presenting her with an adorable little magic music box, your daughters are sighing over how romantic and adorable this is

If you ignore the obvious misogyny until Poseidon is a good father, he protects them, pays for their luxuries, spends time with them (even if only because Percy forced him to spend family time because everyone knows he prefers to spend his your alone time with percy)

I don't know why else I think Poseidon would have a small (very small, almost tiny and almost non-existent) favoritism for the youngest daughter who looks like Percy (like Triton's favoritism for Ariel due to her being the youngest and the daughter who looks more like her mother)

(I don't know if I've already sent this post before but I found it in my notepad so when in doubt I decided to send it again, if it's a duplicate post just ignore it)

all i can think about is that one scene where we actually get to see what happens to ariel's mom 😭😭 i can't remember much, but didn't she get killed by human pirates???? lmao, obviously that can't happen here since percy would be a goddess in this AU but they would probably still try to target her anyway LMAO JUST IMAGINE POSEIDON'S REACTION 💀💀💀

OH AND THE YOUNGEST FALLING IN LOVE WITH A HUMAN LIKE ARIEL WITH ERIC 😭😭😭 percy and possibly the other sisters would be the only one who would support it but they know daddyseidon would lose his shit

poseidon's probably gonna have flashbacks of the perthonius situation lmaooo 😭

[alpaca-clouds]

Something about the Astarion romance

There is one thing about the Astarion romance, that I kinda feel like should be talked about a bit more.

Now, I am very much a lover of the Astarion romance. I just wanna hug that horriblem man. He definitely needs all the hugs you can give him. But...

We are all aware that the relationship - at least for now - is not a healthy one, right?

Like, no matter whether you let him ascend or not, the relationship is one of emotional dependency. Astarion is going to be emotionally dependent on the player character, no matter whether it is Tav, Durge or one of the other Origins.

Which is completely natural, mind you. Of course someone with his trauma will just latch onto the one person who makes him feel good emotionally and not let go. Duh. For someone that traumatized that is completely natural behavior.

It is this fact that drives him so much, when it comes to the Ascension Ritual. If you have played the game not romancing him, you might have noticed, that at least dialogue wise he is much easier convinced that maybe the ritual is a bad idea. Like, sure, the persuasion checks are still the same, but in the dialogue choices, when he goes: "Oh, all the power I could have." And you go: "I don't think that's a good idea." When you are a friend he is just going to go: "Hmm, I don't know. Maybe you are right." But if you are romancing him? Then he is going to be all: "I am doing it for us, my sweet!"

And I think the main reason behind this is, that this is the first time in a long while that he allows himself to really care about someone else and he is so fucking afraid that he is going to loose you. Thinking that Ascension would allow him to protect you. (Which of course does go south fairly quickly, if you let him ascend, because in that case he mistakes control for protection.)

But even if he does not ascend, he is still very emotionally dependent. And post-game it is going to take work for him to overcome this dependency. Because while his dependency as a vampire spawn is much less toxic compared to Ascended Astarion, it is not good. Especially not for him.

I see a lot of "How sad is it, that if you have a short-lived Tav (like a human, halfling or orc) Astarion will see him die rather soon, even if he gets healed?"

And I am like... Alright, here is my death positivity coming through. Sure, it is sad, but... if Astarion is not completely dependent on Tav/Durge/whoever... It is going to be alright. It is not going to be soul crushing. Like, even a short life well lived is worth more celebrating than mourning, right?

Just, you know... something to think about. Something to consider.

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

My Headcanon for Why Emps Banned Religion

I have read none of the books with a heavy Emps focus but I have read a lot about them, including various excerpts, and obviously that's enough to qualify me for making headcanons about him. So here's my big theory:

The religion ban had nothing to do with Chaos, and everything to do with the Emperor himself.

Listen. Listen. We have three facts:

The Emperor is a 38,000-year-old psyker created to defend humanity against Chaos who has dealt directly with the gods. There is no way he doesn't understand how they work.

The Emperor made a deal with Chaos but failed to keep his end of the bargain. This bargain allowed him to create the primarchs, but it also empowered him personally.

The Emperor is the entity prophesied to become the Dark King, the fifth Chaos God.

I think the Emperor was trying to prevent his own ascension by banning religion.

Humanity has a fairly strong connection to the Warp; it's slowly evolving into a psyker species. A single, non-psyker human won't have much effect, but if billions and billions of humans believe the same thing, it will affect the Warp.

Now, pause for a moment and think about what it would be like to encounter the Emperor. I don't just mean walking up to the guy and shaking his hand, I mean just seeing him and being in his vicinity. You're gonna get knocked on your ass by the most intense Warp aura you will ever feel in your life. To put things in perspective, in one of the HH books, Lion makes an entire room of men kneel just by walking in the room. The Emperor is exponentially more powerful than any of the primarchs. The dude hangs out with blanks because they're just too weak to hurt him.

A lot of people are going to process that encounter as a religious experience.

Now, obviously the vast majority of the Imperium's population are never going to see the Emperor. But millions and millions of people will still go through this experience. We don't see much of this because the HH series takes place when the Emperor retreats to Terra to work on the Webway. Prior to that, he would have been a public figure--giving speeches, holding triumphs, leading armies, going to summits, etc etc etc. There would be a steady stream of people walking away shaken to the core because they decided to go to a big parade or whatever.

Now, add to that his utopian mission (the Imperium will unify the galaxy and create a golden age of humanity! yay!), the cult of personality, and the fact that some planets really would have greeted the Imperium's arrival with joy...

Look, someone's gonna start a new religion. Maybe multiple someones. And you had better believe it's gonna spread because "huh that there is some kind of divine being" is a pretty understandable response to Big E and his Slightly Less Big Sons.

Thing is, the Big E in question knows about the Dark King prophecy, knows how the warp works, and knows he's as much a Warp entity as he is human. If increasing number of humans believe that he's a god, all that belief is gonna pour into the Warp, and eventually it's gonna affect the very nature of his being. Him, who already has prophecies about a divine ascension floating around. GEE WOW COULD THESE THINGS BE RELATED, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN NEXT.

The Emperor really, really doesn't want to become a Chaos god. The Emperor is extremely anti-Chaos. So it is absolutely vital that no one starts worshipping him because the risk is too great, and too much is at stake.

The solution? Ban religion.

See, he can't just allow freedom of religion because statistically speaking, someone's gonna start worshipping him. And he can't start a state religion, because that associates his person with the official religion, and then he'll get turned into a saint or a minor god or something. For fucks sake, the Catherics still venerate St. Vladimir and they don't even know what Russia is! Yeah, official religion is straight out. Honestly, the big problem here is the whole tendency to worship giant miracle-working people with overwhelming Warp signatures. That's what really needs to be targeted. A vigorous program of rationality combined with a strict ban on religion will discourage both the practices and the thought processes that lead to Emperor worship. Humanity will learn to trust SCIENCE and FACTS rather than seeking comfort from silly old superstitions. That is definitely how human psychology works.

The downside of this policy is that he cannot acknowledge Chaos. Acknowledging that big spooky supernatural entities with godlike powers exist severely undermines the whole premise. But the aftershocks of Slaanesh's birth have mostly worn off by now, the Warp is pretty quiet these days, and frankly speaking there is so much Weird Shit in the Materium that the occasional daemon can be written off as wacky xenos hijinks. Plus, the general drive away from religion will also drive humanity away from Chaos worship. It's a bit of a gamble to deny Chaos, but all things considered it's a safe one.

So Emps bans religion and starts his totally-not-a-religious Crusade to unify the galaxy and find his sons. Everything is going great! Chaos has barely made a peep and rationality is blossoming on all the human planets. The way things are going, Emps might even get a head start on that Webway--

Uhhhhhhh. That's. That's a nice religion you invented there, newly-found son. You know it's gonna have to go in the trash, right? Atheism is kind of our thing.

what is this what are you writing about

LORGAR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?

Yeah so Emps flips the fuck out. This is literally what he was trying to avoid, and it is the worst case scenario. Not only has an Emperor-worshipping religion sprung up, but one of his sons--y'know, the insanely charismatic monstrosities with crazy Warp signatures that he made--is the one who started it! This has to be stopped, and it has to be stopped HARD. Breaking Lorgar isn't enough. Emps has to break his religion.

And you know the rest.

************************************************************************

LINGERING QUESTIONS:

Q: If Emps was so hellbent on preventing a religion from springing up around him, why did he build a cult of personality?

A: He's an authoritarian dick, of course he's going to build a cult of personality. And of course he's going to convince himself that the cult of personality is necessary, and that it won't conflict with his anti-religion agenda. That's how authoritarian dicks think.

Q: Then why was he ready to become the Dark Lord in TEatD II?

A: Damage control. Emps didn't have the power to take on All Of Chaos Wearing Horus. So if he didn't ascend, he'd be consigning humanity to subservience at best to extremely hostile entities. But if he did ascend, then he might still be able protect humanity even as a horrifying Warp monstrosity. The Emperor will always choose the option that (he thinks) is best for humanity even at the cost of himself. But that's a whole other post.

LAST TIME: Emps has a really fucked up sense of time.

NEXT TIME: Why is the Emperor Like That?

[strangerxperv]

Eboy gamer Eddie Headcanon

Warnings: SMUT, Minors Mine Elsewhere (NSFT/ minors DO NOT interact (I will hunt you down), Squirting, fem reader, curvy reader, Eddie is a Dom and a tease, breeding kink, voyeurism, reader is a thirst perv and a geek, Eddie is hot and know it, this is modern au, and Eddie is kinda mean (he gives you a lil slap).

Eboy/ Gamer/ twitch streamer Eddie Munson x Curvy perv geek fem reader

Eboy Eddie fucks so good that you never make him wear a condom or pull out

Eboy Eddie that creams your cunt so full your mouth waters for another filling.

Eboy Eddie makes you warm his fingers when you watch horror movies or gameplay.

Eboy Eddie who makes you sit on his lap during stream with his cock secretly stuffed inside.

Eboy Eddie loves when you beg to cum and desperately hump his unmoving hand.

The way you pout and sob is obscene. His thick cock can't help but get hard but he doesn't wanna fuck you yet. He refuses to give in to his throbbing erection.

Needy pervy you is his favorite and he has to stream soon.

He has his cock stuffed in you half way through streaming. You're dressed in one of the (oversized) hoodies he sells online. He sells up to a 5 XL and you love feeling small. It's large enough to hide your sopping cunt split on his dick.

Eboy Eddie makes the excuse that you're shy and nervous to be in stream. That's why you're facing him and not at all because you're face would give it away.

On cutscenes Eddie sneaks his hand down and rubs hard harsh circles on your stiff clit. The only time you can cum is during a cutscene. But they're never long enough and he ends up edging you instead.

By the time the stream has ended your cunt is swollen and puffy. Clit so hard it's easy to spot while it twitches. Slick doesn't drip it pours out of your debauched hole.

He makes you hold your hoodie over your fat heaving tits. So he can see all your pretty curves and rolls. Eddie lays a sweet kiss to your tummy before sliding down.

Between your legs he lays a quick kiss to your clit when your hips thrust up, he pulls away. Eddie's dark eyes watch your face. The way your eyes roll up into your head and even cross ever so slightly. Plump pretty lips gasp open while you arch your tits out.

His smirking lips press another soft kiss to your clit. And another. Then another.

"what's wrong baby?" Kiss, "why're ya so whiny? Hmm?" Smooch, "boy got your cat?" Lick, "does it hurt?" Suck, "aaaaw..." Kiss, "don't cry baby."

It's only when you're sobbing fat tears and babbling that he finally takes pity on you.

Finally he's throwing your clothes off and taking his cock out.

The first thrust into you feels like ascension into paradise. You're so warm. So unbelievably hot in every way. Your cunt has never been so receptive to his cock, so open. So fucking wet.

Each rough thrust sounds with a slapping shlick schluk schlak sucking accompanied with the creaking of the bed. The metal head board slams into the wall denting the dry wall. Whines from both you and Eddie echo around the room.

"Yer tits are always pretty but I love how they look right now-" He gives you a particularly hard thrust bracing his hands under your knees. Even with your legs pressed into your amble chest they bounce. "-Fuuuuck, maybe you should stop taking your birth control," another harsh thrust as his rough hands tighten, "That way I can see how they'd look full with milk."

Eboy Eddie seems like the kinda guy that's not serious about anything, especially relationships. But you're different. You belong to him and he belongs to you.

His fans have begged him for an onlyfans and he would have if Eddie hadn't met you. Now he wants you all to himself.

He can't imagine sharing this expression with anyone, maybe Steve.

"Wanna feel you cum pretty baby. C'mon, please? Please cum-" He's desperate to feel you clench and quiver around him almost as much as you wanna cum, "Touch your clit, now." He's begging you but don't forget he's still in charge.

Your small hand slides between your legs and dips past your clit. Fingers slipping on either side of your split pussy to feel him fuck into you.

One of Eddies hands deliver a soft slap to your face before making gripping your face, "I said touch your clit, dumb perv."

It's a reprimand that you love and has you rubbing your clit like he did earlier, harsh and fast circles.

"Good-" THRUST, "Fucking-" THRUST, "Cunt" THRUST, "So god damn tight!" His thrusts keep fighting that sweet G-spot while you rub your clit. And it's your undoing.

Your eyes roll back and your jaw unhinges in a silent scream as your cunt splashes Eddie. He doesn't stop or even slow down as more squirts out of you. You drench the sheets and the mattress under you as Eddie fucks you thoroughly.

His hips piston into you at a deeper angle to lay bitter sweet kisses to your cervix, "Want you to cum again, one more. With me, wanna give you my babies."

This orgasm is different than the one before it. It hits your nerves and makes you tingle from your toes that are curled to your tongue. Your entire body is pulled taught as you let out soft, "Ah, aha, aaah!" It's too good.

The most satisfying part of this experience is feeling Eddie fill you up with his own cum. He's rooted deep inside you throbbing and twitching against you. Eddies face is blissed out having finally cum after teasing you most of the day.

Eboy Eddie is the kinda guy to gently pull out of you and clean your body up while you fall into sleep.

He's the kind of boyfriend to change the sheets and move you to whatever side of the bed that's properly cleaned. He's the kind of guy that works around you while you sleep but still getting the job done.

Eboy Eddie gets himself and you water and snacks or a meal while you rest. He even grabs you a pair of pretty cotton panties, one of his shirts, and a pair of long socks.

Eboy Eddie looks like someones wet dream with zero strings attached. But he's 100% attached to you.

I listened to this while I finished the second half of it. If you like Eboy Eddie feel free to send in asks about him.

[euphoricimagination]

Summary: Nagi finds out your secret, so now your relationship with him changes while you're still gaining new members for your team. You pass to the third selection, waiting for Chigiri to come, when the Top 6 players are announced, will you be on it?

Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 -> Masterlist

…"Come, Isagi Yoichi, you can have a front row seat of my ascension to the world's number one"

A few seconds pass before Isagi stands up, starting walking alongside Bachira before he turns around

"You guys, I'm sorry" he says "we…we were just one step short of beating them, that last goal was pure luck it's no-"

"Shut up" you cut him off, trying your hardest to not look so in pain "he chose you, that's it, so leave"

"What Yn said" you heard Barou, and then Nagi said something too, but you were too in pain to properly pay attention to any words. You noticed that he turned around and left, your body finally starting to give up on you.

The moment the gate closed, you started feeling like you were falling, almost hitting the floor completely if it wasn't for an arm wrapping itself around your waist. You didn't quite pass out this time, but you were barely conscious as you feel whoever was holding you help you pass your arm through his neck

"Hey, can you walk?" You hear by your side

"I…guess" you barely managed to answer. You hear a sigh before some arms lift you out of the floor in bridal style, quickly going to the locker room

"You. Let him sit there for a few minutes and find a way to help him gain air, I'll go to try to find someone" you hear while slowly helping you sit on the bench. Thanks to the change in lighting you can see a white hair in front of you as the black hair leaves the room.

You didn't notice when Nagi made you take off your white vest, let alone when he managed to take the top part off your body, leaving you just with the binder on.

"Hey, I'm unclipping this, you need to breathe properly"

You hear, but the words don't fully process until you feel Nagi's hand unclipping the front of your binder. Your hand moves instinctively, trying to stop him, but he's faster and stronger than you, so he grabs your wrist and fully unclips it. You finally are able to grasp a full breath of air, moving your other hand just in time to cover your chest as your head starts to clear up.

You were topless, your breasts were clearly visible, and Nagi was in front of you.

"I…I can…I can explain" you say, eyes wide open. Nagi was, understandably, looking at your chest confused, a blush quickly started spreading across his face.

"...you better have a good one" he says turning around, giving you one of his clean sweater "put this on for now"

You put the top, so big on your body that was able to fully cover the existence of your chest. By now you weren't dizzy anymore since you were properly breathing again, but your body still felt sore. You tap Nagi's shoulder

"I'm done" you whisper, Nagi turns around, looking at the side awkwardly

“So…this is why you never shower with any of us?” he says, still sounding nonchalant despite of his face

“Yeah, you guys are not supposed to know about this”

“But why? You're amazing, but isn't this supposed to become the best striker in the world…? you're a girl"

"It's a long story…basically i was a-"

"Here is the idiot" Barou enters alongside Anri, who looks bewildered at you "Take him to get checked or something, we can't afford to lose that ass because of how careless he is"

"Sure, come with me Yn" she says to you, so you move to stand up forgetting that your legs were still feeling like jelly. You stumble, almost falling if it wasn't for Nagi once again, who grabs you one more time to help you walk towards Anri "I'll take it from here, I'll make sure he's okay"

Anri helps you out towards an empty room that was equipped with a simple futon on top of a table. She helped you sit down there, passing you some water

"Everything alright? I watched the match with Ego-san, you were really good" she says, making you nod "he was kind of impressed by your team, how much all of you evolved"

"Thanks" you say "if…i wanted to tell someone about…well, me…how do you think Ego-san will react?" You ask shyly

"Huh? Well, I can't say he would be pleased if you did that…but then again, he did want you to only help him for the first selection. Why are you asking me?"

"Just wondering, after all at some point I'll have to leave, and i would like to tell my friends the truth"

"I see, you're probably worried about whether they'll still be your friends after…I'll talk to Ego-san about it, now go to take a shower so you can go to rest"

You did exactly that, you were feeling much better with a proper shower, but now all your body was in so much pain that you just wanted to lay down. You go back to the three bed dorm, collapsing in the single bed as soon as you get there.

"Oh, you're back" you hear after a few minutes "are you okay?"

"Yeah, i just ran way too much today" you say, sitting in the bed to face Nagi

"You did good" he moves to pay your head, stopping right before touching it as he looks at you "is it okay? You don't mind me doing this?"

"You don't have to treat me any different, as long as you're comfortable with it it's alright…you can keep seeing me as a dude if you want"

"That wouldn't be fair to you..i bet you're pretty confused about all of this, after all it has been a few months of being referred as a dude" he says finally ruffling your hair before sitting next to you

"I can't deny that it has been rather…confusing, i thought everything will be okay, but i feel like it's slowly making me insane"

"I imagine, i guess it would be better if you just did it throughout the day, but here you have to pretend to be a boy 24/7"

"Yeah, it's hard, I'm starting to feel like an imposter in my own body…aren't you mad at me? I'm not the person you thought i was"

"Why would I be? The only difference is that you're a girl instead of a boy, and i like your personality, so it's not like there's much change for me" he simply shrugs "you can be your true self around me, at least it will help you release some tension"

"Thanks" you sigh, slowly you lay your head on his shoulder, finally being able to relax a bit more. You both stayed like this for a few more minutes before you remembered "did you tell Barou?"

"No. It's your secret, not mine"

"Thanks, can you keep it a secret though? You guys shouldn't know about this"

"I can, but i think you should tell Chigiri about this, he's your friend too" he takes his phone out, starting to play a game. Despite him finding out the secret he didn't seem to be too affected by it, still treating you as he did previously. Must be a Nagi thing, he didn't seem to care about it, so you decided to tell him the full truth

"I have known Ego-san since I was a kid. I was the only girl in my neighborhood, so I often played soccer with the other kids. That's why now he asked me to join, he wanted to have a special person that can help the boys to fully evolve"

"Ahhh, so you're like a spy then. That's really cool, you're cool Yn-chan" he answers, making you chuckle

"You could say so, yeah"

"You know, this makes it a little bit clearer for me" he starts saying as the game on his phone shows that he lost. He turns to look at you, with almost a boring expression "I like being with you; at first i thought that it was similar to Reo, that we were friends, but it felt different and i didn't know why"

"Eh?" You look at him wide eyed, was he saying what you think he's saying? If it was, how come he looked so nonchalant? Your face started to feel warm. "What do you me-"

"I thought you were here, idiot, i brought you your dinner" Barou enters the room with a tray of food, sounding and looking rather annoyed "considering your state, I'll allow you to eat here"

"Thanks" you say, fully aware of your redness as Nagi restarts his game. You could swear there was a tiny smirk on his face. Barou looks at both of you rather confused, but he doesn't say a word about it

"I'll be nice today and let you take that bed, i doubt you can stand anyway" he passes you the tray, fried chicken on it "but you better be in good shape for tomorrow match or I'll kick your ass myself"

"I'll be, don't worry. Thanks for the food" you start eating as both of them start talking about the next match, how you should work things out and who could complement you. You couldn't help but feel some lightness in your chest at the thought of finally being able to be yourself with someone, even if it was just one person that knew for now, it still feels rather good.

You won the next two matches, gaining Zantetsu and Kiyora Jin, an all rounder that had a whole eye covered. It was right after the reunion with Ego in which he announced that you would have a 5 vs 5 match against world class players, leaving some of you confused.

"I see…so we have to…cut corners?" Zantetsu asks looking at his book and adjusting his glasses

"Eh..nope. Not really" you say trying to not laugh

"BakaZantetsu" says Nagi, taking his phone out and laying down on the floor, his head on your leg as he opens his game. He seems much more comfortable with skinship between you two, the rest just assuming his lazy side was taking over with you since you two know each other the longest "are they good?"

"You're kidding? They're one of the best players out there, playing for the most respected teams in the world. The buzzcut one plays for his national team and is only 17" you rumble

"Wow, that's so cool. And we'll play them?"

"Yeah, if anything, i bet that this isn't even for us to win, just to show us how behind we actually are"

"This will be a challenge, it'll be…easy peasy? Is that right? I think that's right" Zantetsu adds

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Barou sighs "No matter what or who it is, we'll win. I'm going to eat now"

And just like you said, you sadly lost that match. You weren't even able to score a single goal against those players, overwhelming your team to no end.

You are now entering the third selection joint room, where every team that has passed will join in the order they clear the previous one. You were the second team to clear the stage, so you saw Isagi and Bachira already there.

"Sup" Nagi tells them

"It feels like we saw each other forever ago" you say

"I'm here, you scrub" Barou adds

"Heyy! Zantetsu is with you too!" Bachira screams at you, waving his hand

"You guys…" Isagi says as you approach him

"Huh? Why do you look so relieved, isagi? Don’t tell me you actually thought we might not make it?" Nagi says, squinting his eyes

"Eh? No, no…That’s not it"

"You bastard, you were totally looking down on us! You cocky little…" Barou grabs Isagi by his t-shirt

"You're still treating us like your supporting cast, huh?" You add, hitting his back lightly

"That's not it.. I'm just really happy to be able to see you again guys" Isagi says, making you hit the back of his head

"Like i will lose" you say, making him chuckle

"Of course we were going to see each other again, i wasn't going to let it end here after losing to you" Nagi answers

"I promised to kill you, and I haven't even beaten those top 4; hell, I haven't even beaten Yn and he's in the top 2!" Adds Barou

"Yeah, there's more games for us yet!" Isagi says, if only he knew that you could leave at any moment

«Moving on! Next team, please enter»

The voice comes out of the speaker, making you all look towards the door. You were hoping to see Chigiri coming from that door soon, you kinda miss his remarks through this. Suddenly you feel some weight in your shoulders, two arms passing through your chest in a lazy manner as a chin is on top of your head

"Ahh, standing is such a pain" Nagi says lazily, looking at the door with you as he whispers in your ear "we'll see them soon, Yn-chan, don't worry"

"I know, but I'm still worried"

When the next team enters, you notice the Yukimiya dude that you talked with briefly before alongside people you've never seen, one looking like the captain of the volleyball team of your school. Not a sign of Chigiri or Reo so far. More teams come in, by the sixth one you meet again with Raichi and Gagamaru, which means…

"Just one more team left, and Chigiri, Reo or Kunigami hasn't come yet"

"Yeah, they'll come, they have to" Nagi unconsciously leaned slightly closer.

The door lifts up slowly, igaguri and the boy with only one braid coming first. You're nervous while waiting for the other two shadows to come out, breathing relief as you see Reo and Chigiri appear.

"Reo!"

"Chigiri!" Both you and Nagi exclaim at the same time, a smile appearing on the red hair when he sees you, a smile that soon disappears as the last person of his team starts to appear. A tall and tanned skin dude, with spiky hair.

«That is the the last of those who will advance to the third selection»

"Did…did Kunigami lose?" You ask Chigiri while Isagi asked Reo, the spiky dude was saying something to Isagi

"I…didn't see him, I assumed he was here" the red hair answers, looking just as distressed. Suddenly a pit on your stomach appeared, guilt starting to build up. You weren't supposed to be here in the first place, in a way you took Kunigami's place by playing, and that will only continue to happen the longer you keep being here

"...a shitty hero like him with all his purity and seriousness, was just a slime that couldn't even give me a power up" you hear, which make you raise your eyebrows

"I'm gonna kill him" you whisper angry, cracking your knuckles and almost going to him if it wasn't because two hands take your arm

"Don't" Nagi says

"You're not match for him" Chigiri teases you while looking annoyed at him too "you think Kunigami will let you do that?"

"...Shut up" you say, making him chuckle right before he instinctively reacts to grab Isagi out of the way of that spiky dude, who tried to kick him.

Nagi grabs your arm a bit tighter, moving you slightly so you can avoid any confrontation

"I don't like him, he give me the creeps" you say

"Me neither, don't get close to him" Nagi tells you right when Ego appears on the TV

"Alright, that's enough, you unpolished gemstones, any further violence and I'll have you forcibly eject" Ego says. You sigh, ignoring him like you always do whenever he goes on a rant about something; but from the corner of your eye you can see Reo looking at you and Nagi, the latter shamelessly having his arms draping on your body as he rest himself on you

"Following up in the third selection, after the language studies, well… some things came up, i’d originally planned on whittling down the group until only five of you remained, but there’s been a change of plans" you started paying attention once again, in the very beginning Ego had give you a light overlook of how the selection process was going to be, so that now he changed of plans was unusual "It seems that the overlords of the Japanese football world have made up their minds to stamp out blue lock as soon as possible, which is why i’ve fired back at them with a challenge. So, your next selection will be in three weeks. It’ll be a match with the continued existence of blue lock at stake…japan national u-20 team vs blue lock select 11-member team…if you win this game, blue lock will hijack the japanese national u-20 team"

"Bro, that's insane" you say, everyone in the room was surprised by said words, understandably so. Nagi fully stands up, just as surprised as everyone else.

"...well our opponents will also use every card they have available, so they'll add one member to their rooster…Itoshi Sae" he says, you move your eyes towards Rin, who seems surprised about his brother joining the opponents team "LET'S GO, YOU UNPOLISHED GEMSTONES, THE ONES TO CHANGE THIS ERA WILL BE BLUE LOCK!"

Everyone stays surprisingly quiet for a few seconds, everyone seeming to be processing this whole lot of information given. So now you´ll have a match against the Japan U-20 team? You could understand that the people of the JFA wanted to shut down this project, you cant imagine just how much money all of this would have cost, but even if they think they´d would win, this is such an amazing opportunity, a good chunk of blue lock members will be able to join the national team if you win. After a few seconds a few boys started to question how the 11 members will be chosen, and overall questioned how forwards will be playing in different positions.

"The formation of the blue lock team will center around the following six names I will now call out. Given your overall evaluations as of this moment, these individuals rank as the “Top 6” with the goal of putting together a team in just three short weeks, this method will be our best shot. Those who are called, step forward" Ego says, the ambience changing one more time to expectations "The overall N°1, Itoshi RIn, N°2 Shidou Ryusei.."

“Agh, that bastard is that good? How annoying” you whisper, a few chuckles from Chigiri and Nagi

“Stop having beef with the top players” Chigiri nudges you playfully

"Next, N°3 YN…" Ego continues

"Eh?" You say at hearing your name

"That's our friend!" Chigiri now ruffles your hair, Nagi joining as Isagi and Bachira both extend their hands to high five you

"Moving on…N°4 Karasu Tabito; N°5 Yukimiya Kenyu and lastly N°6 Nagi Seishiro"

"Hey, we're in the Top 6" you lightly hit his chest playfully

"Of course we are" in that moment Yukimiya asks something to Ego, explaining how the order of the ranking was selected; you chuckle when the old Team Z members start whispering surprised at the fact that he was a model

"First, the Top 6 will separate into pairs in descending order and will be assigned A, B and C rank" continues Ego, meaning that you were in a group with Tabito and whoever else chooses your team "This is the final task of the revised third selection with a position as a regular on Japan's national U-20 team on the line. IT'S TIME FOR YOUR TRYOUTS"

"We won't be on the same team, bummer" you hear Nagi say "you should have placed lower"

"Or you could have placed higher" you retort, nudging him lightly

"First, the Top 6, you all will proceed to a different room" Ego says while the door underneath the Tv starts opening, you start walking towards there alongside Nagi as you wave your hand to your friends

"Pleasure to see you again" you hear beside you, Yukimiya smiles at you. He was undeniable attractive

"Same here, and to think we could have team up in the second selection" you answer, making him chuckle

"Right? We could have been an amazing team, considering that both of us are in the Top 6" you nod to his comment, sitting on one of the puffs that were in the room as Nagi sits on the floor, his head laying on your leg. The TV seems to be on a waiting screen, only displaying the words 'Top 6 VIP Room'.

Nothing has gone to plan so far, you should have left a while ago, but somehow now you were in the Top 6 players out of this project; besides, you didn't know how much more will you be able to pretend to be a guy without feeling guilty for taking someone else spot..How long will you be able to last?

"Oi, you alright?" Nagi asks you, making you snap out of your thoughts

"I am…just thinking"

"Hello, hello diamonds in the rough. By fighting to come this far all of you have undoubtedly proven your place as Blue Lock's elite" Ego says as he keep explaining his ideals "... And don't you dare have your position taken by someone not in the Top 6, you all stand at the very peak of Blue Lock. The football that you create will become the blades that destroy Japanese football, remember that. I want to see all of you rise up for the challenge"

-----

Taglist: @suyaaachin - @anurst - @celestair - @futuristicxie - @miyanaranagikenmal-intp - @kaldurahms-lover

[galesdevoteewife]

Some thoughts on Act 3 cutscene, endings and the line “To know you love me for the man I am"

[ Gale romance spoiler all the way to the epilogue ]

In my vanilla playthrough, the particular act 3 cutscene dialogue which Gale wanted the crown caught me off guard. It was one of the rare bg3 moments that stirred complicated feelings within me. (to a point I was considering maybe I should romance Emperor lmao) The structure of his proposal felt thoroughly planned and scripted. Every question I raised was met with a well prepared answer.

Too ambitious? It's not for myself; it's for us, for the greater good. Too dangerous? What have we done that wasn't risky? We're up to the task! Power corrupts? Just a means to an end. I’ll still be me, just an improved version. Now I only need a kiss.

I viewed it from the perspective of him hard-selling the player a difficult decision, and the entire conversation felt strategic. Topping it off with the famous line, “With you, I forget my goddess. I love you.” Such a powerful, attention-grabbing statement delivered with utmost sincerity. It's likely that the player would remember only this line, also making it more difficult to reject him. While I don't doubt his love for them, his motives were a question to me.

One of the things that makes Gale's darker path unique is that everything looks beautiful—voyage through the galaxy, kissing lovers, his voice, so tender and sincere. There's no eerie light, no violence, no bloodshed.

Some thoughts on his true intention and how insecurity is the must-solve in Gale's romance arc

In my opinion Gale’s main emotional knot in relationship is the insecurities he harbors. He holds a logic that he is loved (or tolerated) because of his power. Gale Dekarios wanted to be seen and loved but he "holds a poor figure next to Gale of Waterdeep". While there are exceptions like Tara, his mother, and perhaps Elminster, who love him for who he is; it's not his default to believe that people would appreciate him without his power/achievement/service.

With that in mind and let's circle back to why he wants godhood.

If the player reject him in the boat scene, his instant reaction is: “But I could be so much more to you.” If they reject godGale: “I achieved everything we hoped I would, and still I'm not good enough for you?” –Not a word about the better world. I wasn’t convinced he wanted the godhood “for the betterment of all”.

Instead, what he truly wants is the player’s heart... and I think he believes that obtaining the crown and godhood can win them over. Awkwardly, he would need their help to get rid of the elder brain and he is trying hard to convince them.

Some argue that godGale quickly transforms into the type of passive deity he despised, but I hold my opinion on how deeply he cares about the world in the first place. True, he could sacrifice himself to save the day, but he always says "it's the right way/fate" with nothing empathetic for the general folks. I am suspicious that he says it to dismiss the player's concern.

A bit of addition to this theory. Seeking godhood is not a new ambition for him, according to Elminster's epilogue letter. In my canon, he desired it for Mystra if not for the player, attempting to draw closer to her as an equal.

Gale, the god of ambition

Ascending without resolving inner conflicts is like thrusting a dagger into redemption Durge's hands, potentially exacerbating the situation. The ascension path strengthens this twisted logic. Looking at the godGale romance ending cutscene, he gets to dress the player in matching outfits, hold them in his arms, in his realm, in his symbol. They are finally his, and he would believe it’s the power that made it happen.

However, this would lead down to a never ending thorny path with an insatiable hunger. As a god of ambition, it's in his nature to desire more, continually pursuing additional power because it's a viable all-purpose solution in his mind. He will work his way up to the god rank, might even consume a few, "bringing chaos that even trembles the heavens" —according to Raphael. And guess what? In the dnd universe, there are even superior beings above AO.

Nonetheless I hold hopes and optimism towards the godGale romance. I don’t see anything stopping the player from starting to make things better and nudging him into better use of his godhood. Ambition is not necessarily a bad thing. However, at the point where the game ends, this path is a dimmer one.

Some thoughts on the line: “To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command... None have loved me so purely before.”

When I first saw this line and my tav reacted with a sad face I thought she was thinking “Huh? But i love you for your magic too??” xD

It just doesn’t make sense if he is drawing a conclusion that the player would love him for a 0 magic muggle Gale. He is a wizard. His alliance with the player was built on him contributing to their journey with his magical ability, and their romance was sparked by a shared moment through the weave.

My interpretation is that what he meant by “the magic I command” was referring to the mighty power he used to possess, and “the man I am” was everything he showed you—his love for magic, nerdy side, witty jokes, cooking… things that he thinks define who he truly is. In my canon, he probably went through a long period where his title/talent was all that mattered to people, for his portfolio was way too strong (if I read my dnd materials right, lorewise he could be a legendary character even. I will make a post once I put my findings together). The Chosen of Mystra (among the 22 known chosen in more than a thousand years, some of them are even Mystra’s daughters), the prodigy archmage with the gift to conduct the weave. He could have experienced hurt multiple times as people showed little interest in his personality, then he fell back to conceal Gale Dekarios behind the Gale of Waterdeep fortress. However, this consequently blocked him from building real friendships/relationships.

His circle is small, yet I suspect it's partly because he wouldn't let people come close enough to see Gale Dekarios. Even in Act 3, he still wants to keep it between the player and himself. At the beginning of the journey, he denied the player's attempts to know anything other than his profession. If the player is a wizard, he would even play authority and "apprentice" them. By the by, here's an interesting reading about how he might be masking.

Professor Dekarios of Illusory school

Lastly, my favorite path for Gale! Ugh, it just melts me to see him smile that wayyy (How can Tim and the team be so genius and make the expression distinctive???? I mean, he has been smiling all the time, but especially sweet in the epilogue???) He is content. He knows he doesn't need the mask, nor power, or godhood for the player and him to be each other's. From my point of view, it's an arc of self-acceptance and unknotting. He is convinced power isn't everything, and he chooses to teach illusory magic (gotta admit, destruction-force wise it’s almost a harmless school) for he is the one who wants magic for realizing imagination and the one who shed tears over burned roses.

The path in which Gale Dekarios believes that he is seen, understood, loved, and finds peace. Nothing I would like him to have more. I hold true love for this fictional 3D man *wipe away joyful tears*

Sidenote [1]: Some hate Gale for thinking he's only “pretending”. I personally think he is a well-layered character, for there are so many ways to explain him and plenty of room for ambiguity, making it fun to think about his thinking.

Sidenote [2]: I inevitably project some of myself onto him. The concept of “you don’t need to try so hard, pretending to be someone else to be accepted by the world. you only need to find the right band.” is a kind thought that’s so cozy to me.

[bardic-inspo]

Been thinking about this line you can get if you break things off with Astarion post Act 2 confession, but before dealing with Cazador:

"I - I can hardly blame you. I don't exactly have much to offer right now, beyond new burdens to carry."

And:

"From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?"

And how much it breaks my heart that, at this point, even if he's with Tav/Durge, even though they're "something real" and figuring out what that means/looks like, Astarion still holds this belief, in his core, that he needs to be offering something. He himself is not enough, he needs to be putting something on the table to get them to stay. It's still a transaction and he feels he hasn't paid what he needs to to keep them.

It can't be sex, and because it can't be, there's this insecurity of what else he could possibly give them. And I think that escalates in Act 3 as Cazador looms closer, and we get this dialogue when his siblings attack:

I'm doing this for you, too, you know. To make sure we're both safe. Forever, for good.

The delivery on these lines...and just, the insight we get into how committed Astarion is to the relationship even early on when playing as durge/how intensely "in it" he is (and I think it's the same with Tav, we just don't get the same opportunity to see it lke we do with Durge), to me, he's already 100% made up his mind to try and "keep" Tav/Durge however he can. Forever, even. Maybe he's even contemplated the idea of turning them. This is the only loving relationship he's ever had, and he's dead set on not losing it. (He frames that as safety for them both, but the relationship makes him feel safe, and I think his reasoning is weighed more towards his own safety when contemplating the ascension.)

And in his mind, the ascension gives him everything. He suddenly has everything to offer. So, I think that contributes heavily, if the player then breaks up with Ascended Astarion, to the big angry blowout that happens. In that version of events, he never thought he was enough just as he was. He never decoupled the relationship continuing/existing from being able to provide "payment" of a sort.

And when Tav/Durge rejects the "immortal gift" he offers? It violates his core beliefs about relationships. It goes against what is supposed to happen/makes sense to him: he's offering power, eternal youth, etc. The only answer that makes sense is 'yes'. And by saying 'no' now, when he feels he has everything to give, when he couldn't ever possibly have more to give in that transactional sense, tells this version of him that rejection/the relationship's end was always inevitable.

So he lashes out, because how dare they make him care at all, ever, how dare they make him go through all of this effort to 'pay' for the love he feels owed/deprived of only to say 'no'? When he's hurling insults, he goes to "ingrate" pretty quickly, I think, from that sense of indignation from having that 'payment' rejected.

(disclaimer disclaimer, it's cool to enjoy both/either route, this is just one perspective, I'm probably missing or overlooking some things, yada yada, etc. etc.)

[val-in-the-underdark]

Grief, Pt. 2

I have a thread on Twitter talking about Astarion's grief that I will bring over here eventually, but it's something I thought of again while trying a new path last night.

I'm halfway through Act 3 with Val and I decided to see what would happen if I didn't take Astarion to Cazador's (I've done this quest like 8 times so I'm just doing separate saves to try things out).

It's a pretty rough path to go because Astarion is understandably upset. You robbed him of his choice to ascend or not, and his story is all about lack of free will (he and his siblings are enslaved after all), among several other things.

But if he doesn't break up with you, he tells you that Cazador held up a lot of space in his life and now he feels empty.

The quote before this is that Astarion thinks he would have felt differently if he had killed Cazador himself, but even if you take him with you, he says he feels numb and empty (said here if you defeat Cazador before dealing with Lorroakan).

Several characters in the game have this in common like Dame Aylin, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Karlach, and Wyll, who are all in different stages of mourning a loss. Losing a future. Losing family. Losing freedom.

Grief can be a non-linear process and not the same for everyone. The five stages often quoted are never in a straight line like you would think. You might feel angry right away and hold that for so long that you cycle through everything else later.

Astarion is angry for a lot of the game in part because he's grieving; he was young and then enslaved for centuries with nothing to call his own. He has lost everything including his sense of self, something he will have to rebuild over again after the ending of his quest, The Pale Elf. How he does that is up to you, but with Cazador gone, it's no wonder he feels lost after two centuries.

Lastly, and I find this interesting, is the conversation that Tav/Durge can have when about to kill Cazador (again, if you decide not to take Astarion).

I think that all the evidence you encounter in the palace and in the dungeon isn't there to make you feel bad for Cazador (I mean, you could but you'd be a better person than me LOL). The purpose of Vellioth's lessons and this particular dialogue, etc. is to foreshadow Astarion's potential transformation into the Vampire Ascendant.

Ascended Astarion is a new kind of vampire, yes, but he's still a full vampire. He's not 100% outside of the mentality that full vampires have. For instance, when he first tells you about Cazador in Act 1, he says that vampires are scheming and power-hungry beasts.

This is evidenced by things you find in Cazador's Palace including the fact that he was hosting a final "feast" before the ascension ritual where he was gathering information (pretty sure this person said they worked at the Counting House).

Ascended Astarion is doing something similar in the epilogue when he tells you to bring any secrets right back to him - he's scheming and biding his time just like Cazador.

While we don't know exactly is going through Astarion's mind when he ascends, I sometimes wonder if there is a layer of him trapped like Cazador. I've argued in another thread that I don't think Ascended Astarion will fully deal with his past the way Spawn Astarion has to in order to move on, but maybe I'll re-post that or revise that for another time.

Anyway, while this path is interesting for lore reasons if you really love Astarion, it does feel hollow and anti-climatic because there's a lot of emotional payoff in the final confrontation.