#I don't have like. a goal or anything anymore. like my goal with my art has always changed but idk

[anxietygremlin7]

ooooo I love this lil' question things!

what's one (or more, if you want) song(s) you stop everything you're doing to listen to?

Space Song by Beach House; Microwave by Ricky Jamaraz; and Captain Jack by Billy Joel (my music taste is very chaotic lol)

what's your FAVORITE number?

7, it's just such a fire number

how do you feel about coke/pepsi and adjacent sodas?

quite like myself some original coke, and pepsi to me just taste's like cherry coke which i do not prefer over regular. i honestly haven't had that many different sodas, grew up not being allowed to drink 'em and that habit just sorta stuck(mostly )lol

do you collect anything? if so, what?

ohohohoh boy do i collect things!!!! i have a rock collection, a coin collection(nothing super cool or worth all that much but I do have a lot of coins), and CD's :) (I also just pick up random shiny objects so do I have a collection of metal scrap? maybe...)

what's a piece of art that you've seen/heard in person (or for a movie, seen in theaters) that you still think about/are glad to have seen?

the Minecraft End poem, I think that counts here? it's genuinely stuck with me since the first time I saw it nearly 6 years ago. I love that game sm, even tho I don't play much anymore, it holds a special place in my heart <3

hardcover, paperback, e-reader, or audio books?

if I can find a book online with dyslexic font that's great, otherwise I prefer physical. paperback and hardcover are both special in their own ways, paperbacks are usually cheaper and easier to carry around, but you can't beat the look of a hardcover book without the sleeve.

you can go one place in the world, totally free. where are you going?

huh, that's an difficult question. I think I'd like to go back to Grand Teton National Park, I went there a few years ago but didn't get to see too much as it was a trip going through Montana and Wyoming mainly focused on Yellowstone. I think it'd be nice to go back, it's a very pretty place (I also just want to go to as many US National Parks as I can...I have aspirations and we'll see if it ever happens)

what's your favorite pasta shape?

I like the bowtie guys, eat 'em quite often :)

what are you working on right now? (skill, art piece, goal, task, etc.)

currently 99% done with a lil one-shot I plan on posting tmr :) after that, who knows! (I wanna focus on painting/drawing as I have more time now to work on it but we'll see!)

taggin' some peeps but no pressure :)

@stygiansauce @sia-or-and-mia @slooopes

m making their own tag game??? it's more likely than you think....

answer some super specific questions and get to know your moots better!! (i just thought this would be fun, summer is starting for me and it feels appropriate to do something to commemorate my newfound free time)

what's one (or more, if you want) song(s) you stop everything you're doing to listen to?

after the bombs by the decemberists, and also first day of my life by the bright eyes

what's your FAVORITE number?

three!!!!! 3 <<< look at it it's such a good number

how do you feel about coke/pepsi and adjacent sodas?

used to be vehemently opposed to drinking soda, i fear i'm starting to like it? pepsi over coke, but i will never drink either over a glass of sweet tea

do you collect anything? if so, what?

my biggest collection is quarters! my newest is dvds which is very very fun to go to secondhand stores to shop for

what's a piece of art that you've seen/heard in person (or for a movie, seen in theaters) that you still think about/are glad to have seen?

lucian freud's painting "girl in bed" (look here!) which i'm just. obsessed with. getting to see it was totally by chance but maybe also a little bit fate or something like that? i don't know, but it was a beautiful experience

hardcover, paperback, e-reader, or audio books?

harcoverrrrrr

you can go one place in the world, totally free. where are you going?

right now, i'd really like to go back to the shenandoah valley in virginia. it's such a beautiful area and i've only been once but i. miss it tbh

what's your favorite pasta shape?

linguine! and not just because of the rattatouille character

what are you working on right now? (skill, art piece, goal, task, etc.)

getting back into reading more! been really busy and tired lately but trying to remind myself that if i have an hour for tumblr, i have an hour for a book

literally zero pressure tags: @glitteredbubbles @good--merits-accumulated @damnitneilthenamesnuwanda @scriptscraps @littleprincefan @autumnbookworm81 @chameleon3 @abs-blabs @charlie-why-do-they-swoon @sadiesinkobsessedsstuff @theduckwithafroghat @prophecyhaunted and open!!!!!!!

side note that i stopped doing tag games for like a month because i don't even know but. i'm so back i just needed to stop guilting myself/making myself stressed over being busy. lol.

[captain-astors]

Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)

[mjrdm]

.

[anothermonikan]

Me: Literally just trying to draw anything, anything at all

The irreversible impact these two fuckers had on my art:

[kxsagi]

HELLO MY BESTIE!! 🫶🏻 ihope everything is going well!

the guy who has been in a relationship for a long time but kept it secret so that no one knows, had a football match again. it was a very important and crowded match. victorrryyy at the end of the match!! after all, the same football player who showed off his girlfriend with great excitement at the end of the match. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE... maybe a hug or a kiss scene in the heat of the moment?? CAN I ESPECIALLY REQUEST THE ITOSHI BROTHERS?? if it's a problem for you, no problem at all!! have a good day <3

“𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞”

a/n: HIII LOVE! everything is going good and i hope it's the same, if not better, for you, too! have a good day as well and thank you for your request ❤️🤭

(don't know art credits so sorry)

ft. itoshi rin, itoshi sae

itoshi rin

you’d always known rin was quiet about his personal life. not just private, but secretive. he never gave the media anything. not a crumb. you could be sitting on his lap feeding him strawberries and he’d still deny your existence to the press with a deadpan, “no comment.” 

so when you sit in the VIP seats of his final championship match, hood up, cap on, sunglasses hiding half your face, you think it’ll end the way it always does. he wins. waves to the crowd. vanishes into the tunnel. sends you a text later like “u here?” 

because rin itoshi is not the type to cause a scene. 

but today, apparently, is different. 

his team scores the winning goal in the last five minutes. the stadium erupts. he’s crowned man of the match, carried on shoulders, chants of his name bouncing off the walls. you stand up, clapping, heart full, proud and bursting and still tucked behind anonymity. 

until he finds you. 

like, actually finds you. 

your head turns when you hear his voice call your name. and not softly. not like a whisper. he yells it over the cheers, over the camera shutters. the crowd around you turns too, confused. 

and then he’s there. sweaty, flushed, glowing under stadium lights, grinning like he just broke every rule in the itoshi handbook. 

“come here,” he breathes. 

you hesitate. “rin?” 

he doesn’t let you finish. just pulls you into his arms like he’s been waiting years to do it. his hands lock around your waist, and your cap nearly falls off when he kisses you right in front of everyone. 

you swear time freezes. 

the camera flashes go wild. someone screams. a lady next to you gasps like she’s watching a k-drama in real time. 

rin pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes. “i’m not hiding you anymore,” he says. “they can deal with it.” 

you blink. “are you okay?” 

he smirks. “never been better.” 

itoshi sae 

sae’s always been impossible to read. calm, cold, untouchable. the kind of guy who could be in love with you for ten years and still say “i don’t do PDA” like it’s a religion. 

which is why dating him has always felt like walking on a balance beam. you’ve learned to exist in the sidelines, in shadows. private dinners, blurry phone calls from different time zones, hidden hotel rooms. 

but tonight? 

tonight is the champions league final. 

and you’re in the stands again, just like always, not cheering too loudly, not standing out. you’d made peace with being invisible, because loving sae was worth it. 

his team wins 3–2. the stadium explodes with excitement. the players are hugging, crying, jumping all over each other. 

you expect him to smile slightly, do a post-match interview, maybe flick his hair and leave. 

but instead he walks right toward you. 

he cuts through security like it’s nothing. your eyes widen as he reaches the edge of the stands, and for a second, you think, nah. no way. not sae. 

“you,” he says, pointing straight at you. “come here.” 

you blink, frozen. “what–” 

he hops the barrier. climbs the damn rail. he doesn’t care about the fans yelling, or the staff chasing after him. he’s walking with tunnel vision, focused only on you. 

“sae, what are you doing–” 

“i won,” he says, pulling you down by the hand. “but i only want you.” 

and then, with the entire world watching, he wraps his arms around you and kisses you so hard, your brain short-circuits. 

his fingers grip your face like you’re the most important thing in the universe. like you were the goal all along. 

when he pulls away, the camera crews are practically drooling. 

he just shrugs. “if they didn’t know, now they do.” 

you stare at him, stunned. “you realize they’re going to replay that a thousand times, right?” 

he smirks, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “good. maybe they’ll finally stop asking if i’m single.” 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[innaillus]

I miss him.

I often think of him and feel like I need to draw him. But unfortunately, I have a lot of other responsibilities besides work. I also made it my goal to make sure I don't get burnt out, so I allow much less art in my freetime than before.

I wish I could wipe my memory clean of TR and re-watch and re-read everything and have a fresh experience. I need inspiration to create. While I don't have anything readily available about him anymore, I get a million stimuli from other sources each day.

:/

[phillip-bankss]

If it helps I have no idea who you are. I think I followed you because of a crash bandicoot drawing some years ago

im sure that's the case for most of my followers. ramble below

that's mainly why nowadays I try to draw what i want to, first and foremost, because I can't guarantee other people will care about anything i do outside of one or two doodles that tickle yer funny bone‼️

I used to be really bad about drawing stuff for fandoms I was "in" (i say "in" cus I'm atrocious with interacting with others in communities on a meaningful level) and putting all my self-worth on how people see my art. it wasn't until I realized that it ultimately doesn't matter how others will see it, because what I do isn't meaningful enough to make a lasting impression in people's minds.

im literally just some random funny fanart guy on the internet, and there's one of me born every minute. if you don't think about me, I don't exist. my goal was (initially) to set out and make people laugh with my drawings, so I can usually achieve that at least, but.. then what?

that's part of why I don't care about being known, or getting any attention or notoriety anymore, because it doesn't matter. it doesn't make me happy, and like I mentioned previously, it'll be forgotten at some point in time. i know it sounds depressing as fuck, or that im crashing out (its almost 2am so itll probably be embarrassing in retrospect when i wake up), but I've come to accept it and I'm working on embracing it.

i also hope this doesnt come across as sounding bitter or snarky towards you, you didnt do anything wrong. this is a response to your very common sentiment that others also share. I hope that in the future I can serve my purpose in filling a spot on your phone's feed with something that activates the dopamine receptors in your head, but if not, that's okay 🫶

[hellsquills]

Something about the Stans and need against selfhood.

Obviously, we have the infamous "I don't need you! I don't need anybody!" and you could make a whole dissertation on that sentence alone (check out Hanna Hyperfixates on yt). But what I'm interested in is how their need for each other was perceived as a weakness rather than a strength.

Because neither of them needed each other to survive, but they needed each other to live.

When they were little, they were constantly together. Twins, misfits against the world, of course they were close. At that point, being considered a pair wasn't a bad thing; they were brothers, best friends, never too far away from each other. They were basically the same person, and that was okay.

As they grew older, naturally, that sense of individuality became more and more prominent. As in 'sure, I love my brother, but I'd like to be my own person too'. And so Stanford became more focused on his studies and Stanley on sports/arts. That ultimately culminated on them growing apart from each other, and feeling like they weren't as close as they used to be.

The thing that drives me crazy about their shared feeling of "I don't need you" is not only that it's both true and false, but also that they did use to need each other, and I think that's what lead to their resentment.

Stan needed Ford to be the smart one, because he wasn't (in the booksmart sense) and he wasn't good enough to be intelligent on his own. He had wits, he had charisma, he had brawn, but he needed brains.

Ford, on the other hand, needed Stan to protect him. From bullies, from rejection, from loneliness. He needed Stan because he was the only one willing to stand up for him. It didn't matter he was a genius, because he couldn't handle people on his own.

And, above everything, they needed each other because they were the only person to stick with them unconditionally.

I think this played an important part on the way Stan reacted when he was kicked out, on how Ford did when he came back, and how their early days reunited went about.

Stan didn't have Ford anymore to help him and back his crazy ideas up. Therefore, he had to rely solely on what he had on him: wits and brute force, mostly. He wasn't smart enough to get a good job or an education (or so he thought, even though you'd also need money), so he settled for what he could do. He found solace in things that didn't require being smart.

Ford didn't have anyone to protect him, from bad people or from his own low self-steem. Therefore, he relied heavily on his smarts and focused only on that, to the point where he got 12 PhDs in less than a decade. Even though he managed to make one friend, he found solace in things that wouldn't judge or hurt him, such as books.

When they think "I don't need him", what they mean is "I can survive without his help. I'm not too weak to make it on my own. I can figure things and do it my way."

And so they start surviving. Stan gets in trouble with the wrong people, and Ford falls for Bill's lies. They have to keep going, no matter what, because they have a goal and they can achieve anything on their own. Because they don't need anyone to succeed and they have no one else by their side anyways.

But again, they are not living. They're just merely surviving. Because there's a part of them that's missing, and they need that. They need the unconditional support, the understanding, the patience, the love. The knowing that there'll always be someone there for them, no matter what.

After Weirdmaggedon, it's undeniable that they need each other. They won't say it out loud, of course, but it's there. They both know that they need the other. They just have to work on believing that the feeling is mutual.

[krshitsuji]

why i firmly believe o!ciel's name shouldn't be revealed

i really wanted to make my pov in this topic public in a way, which is why i'm making this post.

i see a lot of people wishing his name would be revealed sooner, or creating theories over what it is - but i personally believe us finding it out would be poor writing and also inconvenient for pretty much everyone, even for kuroshitsuji's team marketing wise.

- plot weakening

he said it himself: "Earl Ciel Phantomhive is me".

O!Ciel might not truly be Ciel Phantomhive, but he is the man Ciel was supposed to become. At the very least, that was his goal. The Earl, the Queen's Watchdog, brave, strong, respected.

In the story, Ciel Phantomhive is not just a name - it is an identity, a concept, and more specially, a ROLE, in which R!Ciel did not live to take. Him being called that name is much more symbolic than one may think. In a storytelling point of view, his name being revealed would only make sense if he no longer fulfilled said role, but his win over R!Ciel is definitely implied.

To O!Ciel, his name is more like a deadname that represents the person he left behind the day he decided to become earl and live to get his vengeance.

To reveal his true identity would more to break a beautiful, poetic and philosophically background that has been created for almost two decades now. You know what's also been happening for two decades? People calling O!Ciel... Ciel.

- From a fan POV

Ciel is our main protagonist. We have been knowing him for quite a while now and we have always called him that name. Now, imagine what it would be like if 90% of kuro related media, posts and even art became outdated because now we found out his name is, like... Bobbert.

O!Ciel is Ciel. He has been Ciel. He should keep being Ciel. A name is obviously a big part of a brand, and losing the brand of the main protagonist is not acceptable. It would honestly just be confusing and overall inconvenient for everyone. Me, personally, I will keep calling him Ciel until I can't call him anything anymore because I am dead and buried.

Your post talking about your Ciel cosplay? No babe that's wrong. That's your Bobbert costume.

That would be okay with a side character, but he's our protagonist. As I've mentioned before, it's even bad for Yana and the series marketing in general, since merchandise and official products and campaigns would also become outdated. It's not a Ciel nendoroid, it's a Bobbert nendoroid. Like, what do you mean by that? And she can't say his name without expecting people to call him that. Most moderate case scenario we have a confusing situation of him having two different names.

But like... How can we even dodge that?

Problem is, I have NO IDEA how Yana could dodge having someone, especially his family, call him by his real identity. They know he's not Ciel - the world does. Why would they ever keep calling him that?

I honestly don't think she's going to reveal his name, but I also have no idea how she's escaping that. I fear it may need a plot twist or really big event in order to happen.

I don't even know how to finish this. I don't think anyone will read. get cieled i guess

[deqdlyowl]

I actually have some old doodles TPtR au related... This one portrays an event from the second chapter.

I have a few more things, but they're kinda spoilers and I'm not really into spoiling... Though one of them is just a spoiler of one interesting detail I want to add (the event my sketch shows most likely won't appear in the fic), while the other one is a WHOLE AHH SPOILER of the shit happening in, maybe like 10+ chapter, I'm still not sure how big I want to make the fic, ahaha.

Also rambling and venting out my feelings under the cut because I forgot to take my meds yesterday. You don't have to read but I would be happy if you do.

.

Every time I start something I like, it begins to feel like a small obligation after some time, no matter how I feel about the thing I create. I love my fic and I really want to finish it, because it's also a huge emotional boost for me when I understand that I passed my word count goal in the chapter and I finally can write down my 24/7 daydreaming about CotL (even if not all of them, I often think about selfship, sorry, ahaha),AND I have a nice feedback. BUT. My ability is to abandon things. I have many unfinished drawings, unfinished crafts, like, a crocheted Spycrab or a full-sized HHH tf2 weapon, even though I really want to finish it all, but since I took a really long break, I just abandoned it all. That's usually the reason why I don't make comics. (The only comic I've ever made is that one silly meme about bees). And a month ago I started writing TPtR.

I'm scared of this happening to my fic, that's why I force myself to write if I'm not doing so for more than two days. Somehow it boosts my motivation, but at the same time, the thought of having to force myself to do something, even if I love it, makes me anxious. Why am I not doing anything if I love it? Perhaps it's just my depression with AuDHD kicking in, and sometimes I forget to take my ADs (I don't have ADHD meds yet) that makes me suddenly apathetic about everything. And then anxiety. And then I get sad when I can't come up with words.

Today I was describing the thing I have no experience in. I made tonnes of research, watched many videos of how people do it, tried to find words, but it looks... Meh. And I'm sad. And when I'm sad about something I do, I abandon it. BUT I WON'T. I will force myself to not, because I still want to write! I try to reassure myself that it looks shitty because it's still a draft and written in my native language. However, if looking at my current word count, the chapter won't be short, and it makes me happy. I'm sad and happy. I'm confused about my feelings about what I do!! I can just abandon doing ANYTHING and be lazy for years as it happened in middle school! But I have to force myself. To do anything at all. I already bed rot when I'm not studying, and if I'm studying at home, I still do it in bed. I'm losing weight (I'm severely underweight), my dogs feel bad (they're almost 12), it's my final year in school so I also study hard for my finals, my dreams say weird things (I believe in dream-telling or whatever, and I kinda can decipher them) and it all devours me from inside. But I can't give myself a rest. Or. I'll. Abandon. The thing. I love!

I'm repeating, but my head repeats everything most of the time as well, it's either loud and messy (adhd) or quiet and agonizing (autism), my ADs make my body parts twitch, I don't think that I need my therapist anymore, because it feels like there's no different between me before and me after talking to her.

I love my friends though. Their cheerful reaction to my fic or sketch updates is something that also boosts my motivation of doing something. I love art because of the feeling of creating something, but after finishing, I get the desire to see someone's reaction to what I did.

That's all, I think. I mean, not all, but I don't want to repeat again and again, my memory is getting worse as well, I feel like I kin Shamura ahahahha. I want to take an MRI. What if I have a tumor.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

When i say "Art Is Dead" i don't mean it in a doomed way, quite the contrary i have found by acknowledging the notion that the illusion of the structure of Art as we once knew it may possibly be Quite Dead is the most freeing conclusion i have come to in a while and it has allowed my expression to bloom in ways unforeseen. Because of course I see there are still so many creative people, There is still art being made, Creation is not dead It's more-so that, the institution of "Art" has gone rotten, Maybe it was always rotten, but the current world we are living in has uncovered this rot, brought it to the surface for all to see.. it is undeniable that Creation can not thrive in a world driven by competition, monetization, The pay to play world, branding, rapid cycle consumerism, Throwaway world, Next Best Thing World, Endless seeking Never Satisfied, A World decided by algorithms that artists must now bargain with in order to be consumed, consumption always the end goal, because to be consumed is Survival. it's not a judgement on my part, we all wish to survive. Everything is so different than it was even just 5 years ago.

The freeing part for me has been watching this unfold, Seeing it for what it is, Accepting the decline, And just realizing, internalizing, I don't have to do all that. I don't have to participate, because there is no happy ending in it anymore. Most my life i had these quite specific expectations of what being a "Successful" "Artist" would look like, feel like. And i struggled to fit into those expectations, which was damaging to the way i valued myself, and restricted my ability to actualize my true vision, always second guessing myself, the old structures of art greatly inhibited me. But at this point, it's like, Wow, i just, don't care anymore ! It's all fucked and i have no more expectations. the foundation of my goals has decayed. the frivolous hunger for empty praise has dissolved. I have no model of "Success" to aspire to. So now, However insular it may be, i am just doing what feels good, for myself, sharing it here & there, but not expecting to gain anything. And for the first time in my life i actually feel very connected to my art, connected to everything i do, like it's ME, it's My Raw Self, it flows from me, i'm not hiding anything, i'm not watering myself down for relatability, i'm not trying to appeal to a certain algorithm or niche, i'm just doing things that feel instinctual, for nothing. Doing it for nothing. Doing it for, nothing.

Could the "Death" of "Art" become the saving grace of Creation? I think we should embrace the transformative aspects of death, in all areas of life. Death is not negative, death is neutral, Death & Rebirth is an inevitability. it's important to grieve too. But ultimately Death is freedom to rebuild something better

[mrfellsans]

Crazy to think it's almost 2025..currently 9pm while I'm writing this and I wanted to say a few things

I might get into a bit of sensitive topics so be aware!

If you don't wanna read everything I wrote it's fine, short note:

thank you guys so much, sorry I didn't draw anything! have an amazing new year and I'm wishing you all the best genuinely from the bottom of my heart ❤

Hey first off I wanted to start it on a nice note and say HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL AND ALL OF MY MOOTS, you guys really changed me I mean I made SO many friends online and I'm so grateful for that and I'm also grateful for all the friends I already have that stuck to me or the people I got to know and get closer to this year. Just letting all of you know, my followers, friends, etc that I love you all dearly and I thank you all so much for the support you have no idea how much all of your kind words mean to me I love you all, adding onto that I was also able to improve my art a lot and I'm so proud of myself for that! If you have anything you have improved in just remember it and be proud of yourself for it!

And now to get a bit deep, this year was a roller coaster for me, especially during the end where a lot of stuff was going on with me. I remember at the start of 2024 I thought that I wouldn't live to see it be 2025 and my hopelessness peaked near the end and I was sure that I wouldn't make it, I was in such a horrible place but my family, you guys, other friends and people, you helped me stay here just long enough to see another day and realize that things aren't that bad, I thank everyone that has helped me get through it even when I felt like it wasn't worth it anymore and I have no idea how to thank everyone for it but thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart.

And to end it off, some goals I have next year is to improve more on me and my art. I really wanna learn how to animate, learn anatomy better, just in general I wanna learn SO much more in the art world and I hope this new year I'll achieve that!

I love you all.

And I hope you have an amazing new year ❤

-Selever

@yago-undertale @luigigirl12 @candymagnolia @izzy-the-chaotic-gremlin @moonflower-pies @cutechan555 @paras1t1c-squ1dd @bigboybird @trasho-pando2011 @tv-peppino @miaar10112 @pizzatowet13 @misdreavusplush @echostarsys @fluffygiraffe @nightofthephant0ms @yourlocalxiaosimp @idiotspage @mattplatonic @alan-william @radaverse @ask-crow-aus @the-rainbow-sandwich @panhbr @mrcarrotcakestuff @sa1tamasbiggestfan @djeycartanime05 @somecartoonisttalkshere @bellagrimfox @noir-ish-bee @lunar-dal @alice-the-demon @sunny-ismyname and literally many others

Sorry for the tag I just looked for moots that popped up on my notification box or I could think of at the top of my head so if you weren't included please don't feel bad, this is meant for all my moots and followers to see and yea pretty much! (＾ｖ＾) 

[geoledgy]

Does anyone else have a complicated relationship with posting/sharing art publicly online? I've been finding it very difficult to have any motivation to share art/crosspost anymore. It doesn't sit well with me.

With the way that social media sites are built, it feels more like posting my art is meant for others to "consume" it and that I am expected to always share anything I make for the entertainment of others rather than start a conversation or connect with community, because everything on social medias is so fast paced and my posts are often visually competing on the feed (if not working against an algorithm) to be seen by a person. And it's like, it's not that I don't appreciate all the likes and shares on my art, I really do and I like sharing stuff I do that I'm proud of but unfortunately it just feels so superficial after a certain point especially on Twitter/Bsky/Instagram, when anything I post racks up thousands of notes yet no one says anything about it. It's shared around the internet space but I get no gratification (And honestly I'm so glad people on Tumblr are more inclined to comment on art but I wish I could respond to tags to tell them how much I appreciate their response and have a conversation!!)

On Sheezy, I just post whenever I want and it's for organization and gallery purposes, also bc I really want to have my art posted there and honestly no where else, just like back then on dA when that was my only site to post art. And since nothing can be shared the way art is shared/RT'd/etc on social media, I did it because it was fun and more of a community thing than really wanting popularity or anything. I post art to start a conversation, to share my knowledge, and to express myself. I honestly even set a small goal for myself to comment on 3-5 pieces on Sheezy whenever I log in, and say something nice about someone's art because I know they'd appreciate something small like that on an incredibly fast-paced internet.

I get more gratification from posting my art in RP discord servers where likes/shares are not a thing, and everyone is more encouraged to comment and talk about the piece.

The art side of the public internet just makes me very sad nowadays, and it just isn't fun to post publicly most of the time anymore. I have no reason to do so either because my main job isn't art lol

[zubzooks]

what are some kingfrin thoughts and feefees and hcs u have... i love ur arts of them!!!!!

alright so

i've discussed a little about them before but like... the fact that they are from the same mutual country that they both have lost and grieve is naturally a reason they'd have curiosity for one another. i mean this is pretty laid out in kingquest, siffrin thinking about the king and beginning to understand his motivations frequently to the point where they keep repeating "i need to ask the king about this" or "i need to talk to the king"

the king's curiosity in siffrin comes through him singling them out and talking directly to them a couple of times, of course asking them if they remember, but also him being very willing to answer any of siffrins questions. PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THIS IS PRETTY CLEAR INGAME that siffrin and the king, while fighting for different goals, understand one another.

also there's the flower thing which . i dont even know how to explain that it's just so. the king wants to be remembered by the one person who understands him. and wants this memory to stay. and i did that comic with the frozen flower and auaauhaah. fuuuck

most of my thoughts for kingfrin come from a sort of hc or alternate canon that there may have been some loops where siffrin might approach the king alone to ask his questions, not wanting the rest of his party to be suspicious or put at risk. after all, siffrin begins to feel a sense of temporary frustration (and even what he describes as "hate" in one bathroom scene during kingsquest) towards the others, who all cannot relate to what he is going through at all and don't remember a single thing about the Country or even the Universe belief. they don't know and cannot know about the loops, about how hard he is trying to save everyone and escape the loops himself... AND they don't know and cannot know about what its like to lose their home, their identity, their faith, losing it all and having nothing left to show for it. they're in a privileged position, but siffrin also wants to protect his relationship to them... maybe if he stays with them, if his journey can remain with them... he won't ever have to worry about losing anything anymore. the stability and eternal integrity of home can be shared amongst all of them. siffrin decides to leave the party behind so that there won't be any judgemental glances or questions about what he's doing asking the king about different things. there's also siffrin's desire to protect his family, ensuring that they don't get potentially hurt by the king when all siffrin plans to do is speak with him and probably loop back. It's an act of saving his family, even if it all just resets. siffrin and the king have something only the two of them can relate over, and they talk privately about what shared memories and experiences they do have. it's tense but... somehow, the two can find reassurance in one another that they sort of know what the other is experiencing. of course, siffrin can never open up about how he's looping, but the king isn't stupid and can literally smell wish craft on him. also the king is sniffing siffrin apparently? strange behavior.

there has to be some sort of... comfort that comes from a reminder of home. from the clothes they wear, the accent, the way they behave... it must produce a spurring feeling within the king, and probably even siffrin, of familiarity, and comfort. something they want more of but can never have. they both want to have a whole, they live with only remnants, but seeing the pieces in each other and empathizing in grief... they can provide a unique sense of understanding to one another.

anyhow, i imagine all of this has to happen before the end of kingquest where bonnie dies. i do believe that once bonnie dies, it's all over. even if one iteration of the king was almost benevolent to him, in one loop the king chose to kill bonnie and make siffrin watch and suffer, and for that he can never be forgiven. siffrin has to hate the king after that, no question. it's all fun and kingfrin until bonnie dies!!! because what the fuck!!!

even still, i'd like to point out that during act 5, when it's only siffrin fighting the king solo... the king chooses to slow siffrin down to the point of frozen sleep, rather than outright killing/crushing him. its merciful, i think. he didn't have to be merciful, and to choose to freeze siffrin. the king seems to also freeze things that he wishes to stay maintained, that he values. i generally hc that the king would choose to keep siffrin frozen rather than dead in pretty much every loop. even if he despises what siffrin is doing, keeping him from victory... siffrin remains the walking reminder of his home. and is the only other one who can maybe understand. he doesn't want that ever to be erased.

so, i guess like i said a while back in a textpost, i don't think of it as like... explicitly romantic or anything? its just a really interesting dynamic... tense but also full of the potential for shared comfort??? i like thinking about it and making art about it...... what they have is pretty tragic and a little scary

sorry if so much of this is just insane rambling i've been trying to get my head together on this all day and hoouuh it's real late at night and my brain is not braining

[nomlioart]

I'm sorry...

Hi... I wasn't active because I was healing from everything that happened to me and I was trying to stay safe. I still am. I only come for a short while now, because before I was scared to say anything even though I really wanted to.

Some of you may have heard of the drama with MatchaBunns from twitter, some may not. I don't want to go into great detail about what happened since I don't want to go back to it, I want to forget about it and never go back to it. In short, the previously mentioned person was accused of grooming. And I, naive and thoughtless, defended them, being tricked and manipulated by them, which made me think that there was no grooming. I was trying to defend my no longer friend. Now just thinking about how I didn't realize what grooming really was makes me nauseous. I wanted to help them because I thought that what they were saying was credible, I wanted to trust them. It turned out, however, that I had been defending the wrong person all this time. I feel sick and disgusting of it. They just made my trust issues grow stronger so much. If some friends hadn't reached out to me and convinced me that these actions were seriously wrong, I would have never realized it and been living a lie all the time, convincing myself that the lie was truth.

I want to seriously apologize with all my heart for everything I said, for all my lies, for all the stupid things I did, for just being in touch with Matcha. I don't wanna be like this. I never wanted to be like this. I just wanted to make friends, I always had problems making friends because of my fear and back then I finally felt wanted and appreciated. I just wanted to help, but it only led to a bigger disaster. I'm scared of Matcha. And most of all I seriously wanted to apologize to the victim of all this, who I will leave anonymous. If you're seeing this, you didn't deserve any of this. I don't expect any forgiveness, but I want you to know, all of you, that I seriously mean it, I want you to believe me that I'm really.. really sorry, for all the harm I've done helping them. I am no longer associated with Matcha since April and I made sure I blocked them on all social media I am on. In fact, I myself wanted to break off contact with Matcha since February because I was starting to feel uncomfortable in their company, but I didn't do it because I thought others would turn away from me, thinking that it would be a bad decision. Now I think I could've done it much earlier. Since then I'm not and won't be involved in any dramas anymore and I'll be less active in communities. These last few months it was really tragic for me because of this situation, I had panic attacks many times, I cried every day non-stop, I had four attempts... So far I am getting help, trying not to go back to it and be a better person. I really wanna change, I don't want to be in contact with people who may have a bad influence on me anymore. I'm still young, stupid, naive.. But I still have brains, I should be better than this.

I still have no idea if I'll ever come back here, it may be that I will come back but it may also be that I won't come back at all. My main goal was to say sorry for everything...

However, I am certain of my decision to never return to Twitter, it was a comfort place for me but after a while I realized that it's horrendous. Most of the people there are toxic heartless beings who hurt others.

I will understand if most people don't want to know me now, I don't blame them, quite the opposite, but those who still want to stay, thank you. Thank you so much. You are all important to me, at first I posted and did my art mainly for myself, but seeing how many people support me and love seeing my work, it only lifted my spirits and I did it for you too. I never felt like I would go this far... It was all thanks to you. I love you. And thank you for reading.

nomlio

[crowley-winter-boots]

Instead of humouring the messages in the screenshot, I would like to make a post regarding people who think this way. DO NOT LOOK FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL OR HARASS THEM. I know people like to jump the gun and do that online, so please don't bother with it. I am making this post to address, that you can in fact, still protest without attending mass protests and that not everyone is able to attend those mass protests.

(*Notice how I didn't "name call", I said "I won't reply anymore as I'm PRETTY SURE you're trolling." I was making an observation based on past experiences, and I'm still convinced they were only saying this to cause problems.)

You CAN still protest without going to larger protests. Its OKAY if you can't attend those large protests.

Here are some ways you can help out if you're unable to go to a protest!

Spread the word

One of the best ways to get people to attend is to tell other people about it! The more people that know, the more that can know when and where to show up.

Find a way that fits you to do something as an individual

There are a few ways you can go about this, but here is what I've personally been doing:

- I've been wearing a pride flag to school. Specifically, the trans flag. Pride flags banned from hanging up in schools? Nothing in the dress code that denies it. It will make people angry and confused, but it will also make people like you feel seen. I've had a lot of negative reactions from students and teachers alike, but there have been fellow queer kids who walk up to me and talk to me about my flag, often saying they wish they had one of their own. I'm planning on painting "WE THE PEOPLE" on it soon (I was going to this weekend, but there was too much going on and I didn't want to start a project I couldn't finish before school on Monday.)

- Make a battle vest (or any other punk fashion, such as crust pants!) I've been working on mine, and will post the patches and progress soon. I've been meaning to make one for a while for myself, but put it off until recently. I'll also make a post going more into detail on how you can make punk fashion yourself, and the ideology of punks.

**PLEASE NOTE. Both of these can be dangerous. Especially wearing a pride flag, as there is't anything that can make it safer. With the punk fashion, there are ways to make it safer, and I'll go more into detail on that on my other post: but essentially, you don't want any political statements or pride flags on the back. You won't see anyone coming, and they'll be less likely to attack you if they see it from the front.

Talk to local activist groups to set one up in your area

I'm not too sure about how this process works, as I haven't yet contacted any local activist groups to set up a protest. I'm not even sure if that's how you CAN set up a protest, but I asked around and this was the answer I had gotten. I'll make an update once I figure out how to set up a protest and if I personally was able to (and the details of the protest, ofc!)

Make signs or stickers to post in your community

There are a lot of ways you can make signs and/or stickers! I've never made a sign myself, so you'll have to do the research yourself for that, but you could make them as flyers with paper as well. But with stickers, they're relatively easy to make! I sold some for a while, and made about $250 off of it in just a few weeks by selling them on my school campus. You just need a pack of sticker paper (GLOSSY makes it shiny, MATTE makes it flat like printer paper,) a printer, and some kind of art app to import your images on. Fitting stickers is like a jigsaw puzzle- you'll need to rotate them at weird angles and fit any nook into any cranny. Find patterns, repeating patterns will make the process easier. The goal is to have as little white space as possible- but that being said, leave enough room between each sticker to give a solid border. A common mistake I made when I first started making stickers was overlapping the edges.

Join communities online

Discord servers are a good way to find online communities for people who want to oppose the American government! I am in a server that shares resources, information, protest days, and more. I can share the link in DMs, and you can also look online to find more.

Start a social media platform

That's what my blog is for! I'm posting online as a form of protest. There are a number of social media platforms (except Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok....) that you can advocate on. I do believe Tumblr and YouTube are the safest ones, and therefore have the biggest communities on there.

Buy banned books

THESE WON'T BE SOLD ANYMORE, SOON. They are information and knowledge the government is afraid of. The Diary of Anne Frank is on the list, which just goes to show how far they're going in this. They know they're fascists. They know America is going through the same beginning stages of a fascist dictator's overtake of a country. You can find a lot of these secondhand before they're gone. Find PDFs online of the books and download them in a place they can't be deleted. Physical copies are much better to have as they can't be taken away.

Pirate and get physical copies of music

Alphatron, FMovies, those are good sites for live action. WCO.tv is a good site for cartoons (and as far as I know, perfectly legal online archive!)

Learn how to burn CDs. Collect CDs. Collect vinyl records. And please, for the love of the Gods, DON'T USE SPOTIFY. I used Spotify because it was the easiest option for me, but they financially supported Trump's campaign. I switched to YouTube Music. Even the free version of Spotify supports the company- every song you listen to and every advertisement you sit through puts more coins into their bank account. I also have a vinyl collection I've been growing for 3-4 years. I'm thinking about learning how to burn CDs and get a Walkman (I currently don't have money, but I'm looking to get a job soon.) Like with the banned books, physical copies are the best. They'll have to pry it from your cold, dead hands.

That's all I have for now!! Feel free to add onto this with your own ways to protest and/or additional information from what I've already put.