#I don't hate watch things because I would much rather watch something I'd enjoy

[idontlikeem]

hi! i'd like to talk about losing. you don't have to read this if you don't want to, but i wanted to write it, and guess what, it's my blog. i just like this team a lot and i'm feeling a little maudlin about my guys and a little sick to fucking death of the shit i'm seeing all over kingdom come from 'fans'. so here we are.

So You Became A Fan Of A Living Legend But The Hockey Team Is Bad: a commentary.

look. this is not the most fun i've ever had watching hockey, and i'm quite sure a lot of people feel the same way. the penguins are bad this season! they were bad last season too, but there's something very special about the extent to which they are shit right now. and those are not fun games to watch.

but here's the thing: who cares.

like, idk. there's so much god damn negativity surrounding this team and its performance right now, and i'm guilty of contributing to it as well, because yeah of course i'd rather watch a team win in decisive fashion most nights. of course i'd rather dream about may and june and the stanley cup. of course i want to watch that happen again for my favorite players. like, duh.

but. it's probably not going to. not if these players get what they want, which is to play together on this team until they're ready to retire.

and you know what? that's fine. if they're fine with it, who on earth am i to not be?

i think we all have the same reaction when we see idiots online saying things like 'sid doesn't deserve this trade him to a contender'. and that's because we are smarter and more refined fans who understand that what sidney crosby DESERVES is to select how and where and when his career ends. is it on a team that sucks? then that means being here is more important to him than getting that fourth cup. staying with geno and kris and the penguins as a whole, never putting on another NHL logo, is more significant to him personally than another victory. and isn't that special? isn't that worth celebrating?

of course we know all of that because we're better at being fans than the uncles online who are writing weird fanfic in their heads. but. guess what that comes with:

losing.

and losing badly, in the case of this season.

i am here to tell you that sitting and bitching about it helps no one. right now, what we have to watch and celebrate is our favorite players still playing at a high level. they're still doing cool stuff on the ice. and they're doing it TOGETHER. this is what they wanted. so your options are either to hate it and sit in negativity about it each and every game, OR readjust your mindset and learn to enjoy what we have while we have it.

we are watching myth-making happen live. we are watching living legends play hockey. this is a privilege and an honor and it's not something most fanbases get EVER. and we have two! can you believe it?

there are things i would have rather seen done differently over the last couple of years. as far back as 2019 there were moves i disagreed with and changes that could have been made that perhaps could have extended their window. and of course the 2022 series against the rangers, that was a very good team that got hit by injuries at the absolute worst possible time, and probably that was their last chance as a core to compete. it's frustrating to watch that stuff happen when you have no control over it.

the pittsburgh penguins were high-end competitors and contenders for seventeen years straight. that's insane and unheard of in this league. they're not anymore. and the price you pay for almost two decades of dominance is...being bad. when you're competing you trade prospects and draft picks for win-now players. sometimes those work out, most of the time they don't. with the amount of winning this team has done, even the trades that didn't work were worth it, because it meant they were trying.

there are no fanbases who are going to feel bad for penguins fans right now. that's also why we're getting so much attention from the national media. people aren't used to this team being as bad as it is, and people like watching downfalls. that's fine. most of those fans have never watched their team win, and most of them never will. so if their joy is coming from sidney crosby's team being bad....well, love and light, you know?

and we shouldn't feel bad for ourselves either. this is what happens. this is how it goes. this is the price for the band staying together.

i dunno, guys. this is a disjointed rant. it's just so effing hard to be kicked in the nuts everywhere you go with unrelenting negativity. it's on twitter it's in the articles and yes, it's here too. but if you can't be a fan of a team when they're bad, then i'm sorry but you're not a fan of the team (or certain players), you're a fan of winning. and NO team wins all the time every year. that's not how sports work.

we are lucky. at least, i feel lucky! don't you? gosh, sidney crosby scored his 600th career goal tonight. evgeni malkin is over 500 goals on his career. can you believe that? it's amazing to watch.

and it's going to be over in less than two years. do we really want to waste it by wishcasting something that's not going to happen instead of enjoying what we DO have?

if the media bums you out, don't listen. don't read the articles. don't go on twitter. dry your tears on the stanley cup banners that sid and geno hung up—there are three to choose from!

[cloudd-nyne]

Bleh.

[lis-likes-fics]

Dramatic

Pairing: Spencer Reid x adhd!bau!Reader Word Count: 2.9k words Warnings: Social anxiety, character with ADHD, crying, emotional hurt/comfort... A/N: I embarrassed myself a little bit and that day will haunt me forever. Enjoy!

Spencer slows as he comes up on your desk. He furrows his brows and looks around, noting your absence with a confused look on his face. Closing his book in his hand, he shifts it under his arm and turns to Emily opposite your empty seat.

Before he can even finish his inhale, she's already speaking. “Last time I saw her, she had to go print something out.”

“When was that?”

Emily looks away from the bright light of her screen in favor of checking her watch. “About fifteen minutes ago?” She shrugs, “I assume she got caught up with something.”

She spins around in her chair in a rather dramatic manner, turning to face JJ in the desk behind her. “You seen my desk buddy anywhere?”

“Printer.” She doesn't even look up.

“That's what I said.”

JJ hums a little. “She probably just got distracted.” She looks over her shoulder at Spencer for the first time, though not for long. “I'd check the printer.”

With a spark of genius, Emily's brows lift as she turns back to her screen. “If she's not there, she could be with Garcia.”

JJ just points her finger over at Emily and hums, still lounging back in her chair as her focus glares at whatever she's filling out at her computer.

“Thanks, guys.” Spencer sets his book down on your desk, turning on his heel to find the printing room where you have supposedly been hanging out for the past fifteen minutes.

He doesn't know what would keep you that long. You're not social enough to have gotten caught up talking, and your distractions are so easy as to keep you from returning to your desk (especially not when Emily is there to keep you company).

Plus, you hate the printing room. The printers are practically always running, and there's this weird clacking noise from one of the machines that unnerves you every time you have the misfortune of having to listen to it.

As he expects, you're not there. There's one guy standing in front of one of the printers, beating his hand on the side to get it to work. Other than that, however, you're nowhere to be found and Spencer is starting to worry.

Realistically, he knows that he shouldn't. You're in a building surrounded by FBI agents, and you're smart enough to know exactly how to tip someone off if you're in trouble. You're so smart, you'd realize there was danger long before it actually hit (because you pay too much attention to little details and sometimes forget about the more obvious things in front of you). He's lucky enough that any UnSub striking the FBI is likely too intelligent not to be meticulous.

But anyway, it doesn't matter because you're not in danger, and maybe you're just with Penelope or using the bathroom or (not in the break room, he already checked) or even–

Shoot.

“Hi.”

Penelope’s door was open, so he let himself in with a gentle knock on the door. Derek is there. He's leaning against one of her desks as she works. They're talking about something Spencer suspects to be too suggestive for his interest.

“Oh!” Penelope turns around in her seat with so much enthusiasm. She almost seems amazed as she looks upon him. “Spencer Reid, coming to visit me. Hello! How are you, my little knick knack?”

Derek chuckles, gesturing for him to join the two with a charming smile.

“I'm good,” he says. He asks about you.

Penelope’s brows join together as she shakes her head. “Oh, I don't know,” she answers matter-of-factly. “I have not seen her. Why? Is she okay?” Her worry creates a crease at her brows that deepens with every second that her question is unanswered.

“You lost your girl, pretty boy?” Derek gently nudges Spencer's shoulder.

“Not lost, just…” he shrugs, “misplaced.”

He hums. “She hasn't come by, no. Last time I saw her was early in the break room with you.”

Spencer scratches the back of his neck. Sorting through his mind about all the places you could be. If you left the building, you would've told someone, so you're definitely still here. You don't have any meetings either, so he's genuinely confused as to where you could possibly be hiding.

“I was hoping I'd find her here.”

Penelope raises a suggestive hand. “Well, I can look on the cameras, if you want.” She wheels around in her chair. She's already tapping away on her keyboard with a loud clickity-clack. “I'm sure we can find her somewhere in here.”

“When did you last see her?” Derek asks.

“I saw her at her desk twenty one minutes and thirty-seven seconds ago, but Emily said she went to the printing room about fifteen minutes ago.”

Penelope mutters to herself as she types in her perimeters. “Okay. Printers, fifteen minutes. And…” She clicks her tongue. “There she is!”

Spencer feels a wave of relief at seeing you standing by one of the machines. You're popping your knuckles, staring dutifully at the printer like you're determined to grab them and go.

“Okay, waiting on papers. Let's fast forward a bit, and then…” Penelope’s as fast as the cameras as she watches you leave the room with your stack clutched to your chest. Your gaze is following your feet, which are taking you down the halls and in the wrong direction of your desk.

When you turn into a room, all of them are a little confused. Derek most of all. “My office?” He turns to Spencer with a furrowed brow. “What's she doin’ in my office?”

“Cameras don't show her leaving. She should still be in there right now.” Penelope adjusts her glasses on her nose, turning back around.

“That’s odd,” he mumbles. “Thank you, Garcia.”

Spencer's already locked into his task when he turns around without another word. Derek calls him, interrupting his alertness.

“Whatever you do,” he tilts his head like he's warning him, his eyes narrowed playfully as he smirks, “keep it PG in my office, okay?”

Spencer almost blushes at the notion. Penelope smacks him square in his chest, looking up like he's scolding Derek for his behavior. But he only raises his hands high in surrender. “Hey! Mama, I'm just jokin’,” he laughs, his face split into one of his charming smiles. “I'm playin’!”

Spencer purses his lips in that dorky way that you always say you love. He excuses himself in favor of finding you. The path to Derek's office is an easy and familiar path. He ends up opening the door not long after.

He doesn't see you.

Spencer's eyes sweep the office once more and find Derek's chair further away from his desk than it's meant to be—that is, if he pushed it in properly to begin with.

With a gentle sigh, he takes slow, quiet steps to round the large desk. He kneels when he gets to the other side, feeling the worry dissolve and take another shape all within the same second.

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice is so soft, this quiet little whisper that doesn't stir you too much.

You have your arms wrapped around your knees, your face buried away within them. You don't move, and you don't seem to be crying, so at least that isn't an issue. Your voice is muffled by your arms.

“Hi.” You don't look up. “How’d you find me?” you mutter, still not moving from your position.

“Penelope.”

You sigh, finally lifting your head. “Penny.” He almost laughs at the way you say it, like you're accusing her of a crime.

“Can I join you?” he asks gently.

You nod without a word. Spencer moves to sit across from you. He's so long, it takes quite a bit of maneuvering to fit himself into the small space. He's slouched over like some real life origami. His legs have no choice but to reach all the way over into your space and box you in with him. You don't mind much.

He lets you both sit in silence for a while. You seem to really need it. He doesn't decide to speak until you finally look at his face, your eyes flitting across it like you're trying to find something.

“What's wrong?”

You shake your head, looking away again. It breaks his heart to watch the way you huddle into yourself. “It's stupid.”

“It's not stupid,” he protests kindly. He reaches a hand out to cradle the back of your leg. His hand is warm, it feels good even through the fabric of your slacks. “Not if it's making you feel like this.”

You don't respond. Spencer's mouth twitches to the side. He taps your leg lightly. “What happened?”

You sigh, taking a moment before you lift your head to see him again. There's a tiny crease in his brows. His eyes are narrowed just a bit. He's genuinely concerned, and it makes you feel bad because the reason you're upset is so…trivial.

“We deal with death every day, and most of the time, I come out of it okay,” you say under your breath, shaking your head at yourself, “but this is what gets me.”

“What's ‘this’?” he presses gently.

You lick your bottom lip and speak slowly. “I went to print some papers, and this lady walked up and waved at me, so I waved back at her and…”

He thinks he knows where this is going. “Yeah?”

There’s an element of self-depreciation when you respond, and your words from earlier echo sadly in his head at the thought that you might be hearing it, too—it’s stupid. “Well, it turns out, she’s not even waving at me. She’s waving to this other lady standing next to me.” You shake your head, looking down as if to remember something. “And she kinda, like…gave me this look.”

“Was it a mean one?” He hopes not. He loves you too much for someone to be giving you mean looks. He wants you to feel safe and happy, and you don’t.

You shake your head. “No, she looked…maybe a little confused or even, like…apologetic, but it was a look.” He watches you bury your head again, hiding away in your embarrassment. “I should not be hiding because of a look.”

Spencer sets a reassuring hand on your knee. “You don’t have to feel embarrassed about something like that.”

When you lift your head again, he can see tears you’d tried so hard to keep back shining in your eyes. His heartstrings tug behind his ribcage. He thinks you’re gonna kill him one day. “I know!” you sniffle, refusing to let any of your tears spill. “I know, but I do, and it’s ridiculous.”

“But…” he says, like he isn’t finished, “it’s also perfectly okay to be embarrassed about something like that.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes and looking to the side again. “Please.” A tear spills over, and you catch it quickly. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth and bite down hard. He’s worried you’ll draw blood. “I overreact or underreact to literally everything. When are my feelings ever reasonable?”

He would scoot closer if his body structure allowed it, but, alas, he is too long. “All the time. They never stop being reasonable,” he reassures. He sighs gently, wanting so badly to make sure you know how much he adores you. “Can I hold your hand?”

You look back at him, swallowing thickly as you slowly raise your hand for him to take. It means a lot, actually, that he wants to hold your hand. Too many germs. Your chest feels warm with your adoration of him. He gives you a smile, and you almost hide for a different reason.

Holding his eye contact is so hard sometimes. He has such pretty eyes, it’s a shame how hard it is to look at them when you get like this. You want to kiss him, to let him know.

Instead, you just squeeze his hand. “She probably already forgot it happened.” You chew on your bottom lip. “And I’ve been hiding under Derek’s desk for the past, like, ten minutes because I can’t forget about it.”

Spencer doesn’t want to tell you that it’s been twelve minutes and sixteen seconds. You hide your face once again more, dramatically this time. “This will haunt me forever.”

His lip quirks but he tries not to smile too much. “Hey.”

“I know. It’s childish.”

“That isn’t what I was going to say,” he smiles. He ducks his head in the hopes of catching your eyes, but he waits for you to look up first. “You know what I’m going to say?”

You do look at him. He’s so sweet, now you can’t look away. “What?”

He leans forward, feeling his back spine stretching as he does. His large hand sets against your cheek, and you lean into the warmth. He gives you a smile that you call charming, though he probably wouldn’t agree. “I love you.”

You can’t help it. The way he makes you feel is reminiscent of a teenager who just shared eye contact with her crush. He wipes your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb, clearing away any water left behind by the few tears that had escaped your clutches. “Stop,” you giggle, turning away.

He guides your face back. His grin is this huge, mushy thing on his face that squints his eyes until his lashes kiss. “Never,” he mutters affectionately. He loves to see you smile. “I love you. Especially when you care a little too much about an accidental wave.”

You catch him in his words, raising your brows accusingly. He’s helping your anxiety tremendously, and you probably won’t realize it until you’ve fully recovered. “So you agree that this is stupid?”

He laughs, shaking his head quickly. His voice, not as soft anymore, is filled to the brim with his happiness “That’s not what I said. I’m saying that I love you because you’re so amazing, and I want you to know it.” He traces the underside of your eyelashes, reluctantly slipping his hand off your cheek. “No matter how many times you wave at someone who isn’t actually waving at you.”

You’re still giggly. “Spencer.” You shift your legs, not without difficulty, to sit in a criss-cross position. Spencer mimics you (with even more difficulty than you). He has to bend down a little so he’ll fit.

“It’s the truth.”

“Well…” you try to dull your giggles to a simmering bubbly feeling in your chest, “I love you, too. Even when I think you’re crazy for loving me…” You think about that for a moment. “Especially when I think you’re crazy for loving me.”

Spencer holds your cheek again and pulls you in for a kiss. You savor this one, your noses brushing affectionately as you do. Spencer doesn’t kiss you at work.

“Will you come back to your desk with me?” he whispers, his lips brushing yours.

You nod gently. “Yeah.”

Spencer smiles, pecking your cheek. He lets go of you to untuck himself from under the desk. He has to stretch his body out before he offers his hand for you. You take it, hoisting yourself up to stand next to him. “Those are mine.” You gesture toward the papers on Derek’s desk as you brush off your pants.

He doesn’t wait for you, he just scoops them into his hands. “I’ve got them.”

“Thanks,” you grin. He sneaks one more kiss, this one to your temple.

You look up at him and hold your arms open, a quiet request. Spencer’s happy to answer your request, wrapping his arms around you in a hug that pulls you closer to him than you feel like you’ve ever been. He takes in a deep breath, closing his eyes and sighing longingly.

When you pull away, you walk with him. His hand hangs down by his side, and you glance at it as you brush your pinky with his. He smiles, but he doesn’t look over at you.

It’s been hardly ten seconds since you left the office, and your phone is ringing. You furrow your brow, fishing it from your pocket and glancing down at the screen. You sigh gently, silently appreciating her because she means so much.

You put her on speaker. “Penny?”

“Are you okay, sweet girl?” she asks immediately, her voice full of worry. You glance at Spencer, who still doesn’t turn to you. He’s smiling, though, so you know that he knows you’re watching him.

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“You’re sure?” she asks. “I can go to you. I’ll bring the squishy that you like!”

Your voice fades into a laugh. “I’m okay, Pen, really.”

“Did my desk help?”

The way Derek’s voice sounds when he speaks up makes you flush a little. You keep your voice level, still looking up to stare at Spencer. You trust him not to let you run into anything as he suppresses his smile with the thin line of his lips. “Yes, Morgan, it was very nice.” You raise a brow. “Am I going to hear Prentiss next?”

He laughs. “Just li’l ole me.”

“And me. I’m still here.” Penelope makes you laugh.

“Goodbye, both of you.”

“Bye, honey bun.” “Bye!” You hang up on them.

Spencer’s warmth seeps into your side. You resist the urge to lay your head on his shoulder because you’re supposed to be professional at work. Instead, you sigh and let your pinkies brush. “I love our friends.”

Spencer smiles. “Me, too.”

Criminal Minds taglist: @queermaxwooo @mdanon027 @lilianhallee @hpstuff244444 @thegr8estpuff @niktwazny303 @bubbles2300 @hiireadstuff @chloelmao67 @feyresqueen @hbwrelic @princess76179 @hc-geralt-23 Dr. Reid taglist: @swwanlake Tag yourself here...

[youmakethelight]

Dear AMC

Okay, so here's where I'm at following the David Zabel quotes released yesterday. I truly hate to be in this negative mindset and I wanted my tumblr to be a fun space only, but it's what I'm feeling, so I'm going to get it out. This is the most serious post I'll ever write (hopefully) so buckle up.

I'm not doing this because I don't want to continue to spread joy about caryl. I'm doing this because, if there's any chance, however small, that I can help to make a positive difference for the people I've come to care about, then I'm going to do that. This is because I care about female representation and empowerment. And because I care about what these stories mean to and for people, and especially people who relate to characters who have experienced abuse. Holding these characters' stories is a responsibility and those who do so need to be held accountable for how they do it.

I'm going to talk a lot now, but it's going to mainly be about Melissa, Isabelle's character, David Zabel, Greg Nicotero, and the idea of romantic caryl. I'm going to try to break it up into sections just because it's so long.

Melissa

Melissa McBride snuck up on me. I started watching TWD a couple of years after it first aired and like many, I fell for Daryl as a character. I observed his chemistry with Carol and always thought their relationship was something special. But like many, I gave up on the show around season 6/7. When TWD was released on Now TV in the UK this year, I decided to catch up, and season 9 hooked me on #caryl. Specifically, I was mesmerised by Melissa McBride and I've only grown to love her more. It's been beautiful finding the fandom and realising that Melissa McBride is the beating heart of it. She might not have as many Twitter followers as Norman Reedus, but she is valued more than I have seen any actor and she honestly doesn't even have to try. Fans will support her for walking to a car. I like Norman but I love Melissa.

Melissa looks happier than I have ever seen her look and she is honestly the only thing that has been keeping me tethered to any hope that I will enjoy this spinoff. My hype has been 100% driven by Melissa and how she has spoken about being back. I've already paid for Carol merch, which is something I never do. And if it wasn't for the fact I knew she was coming back at the end of season 1, I honestly wouldn't have watched Daryl Dixon. After investing in their relationship over 12 years of TWD, I'm not interested in seeing Daryl solo travel the globe and find a girl in every port. I'd rather watch something else and pretend the spinoff doesn't exist. But since Melissa is here and she's happy, I've still been hooked.

Seeing Carol confront her trauma surrounding Sophia is something I have been wanting for years. Since I started watching TWD again this year, all you'd ever hear me say is "why does no one ever talk about Sophia?". So I am beyond happy that story is receiving a spotlight in season 2. And I sense this is what Melissa is happy about too.

Beyond that, I really feel like Melissa doesn't have much space for her own voice. At SDCC, she said that she's quiet on her EP notes because she's the new person. And David Zabel made a joke that she doesn't want to make him cry (hilarious). Of course, I have no idea what the reality is, but my gut feeling is that Melissa is happy that she finally had some control with her character's own story after 14 years. But I truly don't believe she has even been given the space to think about how she *personally* would like the caryl story to look, let alone what they choose to do with the other major female character's story. I think Melissa respects Norman and trusts him with that part of the story. She knows he's had more power with the other producers - he was there for all of season 1, it's his name on the title of the show, and he chose the showrunner and writers.

And as for everything else, Melissa has spent the majority of her career in a male-dominated genre, all of her most powerful coworkers are part of that demographic, and in response to caryl, she has been the target of misogyny and ageism that is ongoing today. If I were her, I'd feel I can only speak so loud for so long before someone feels I've stepped on their toes.

While I do believe Norman cares about her deeply, I don't have any reason so far to trust that he understands the nuances of sexism well enough to be able to make the calls I'd want him to make. I really feel that if he did, he would never have agreed to the half naked shipbait nun scene in season 1. On to my next section...

Isabelle, David Zabel and Greg Nicotero

I will die on the hill that Isabelle's story should never have been touched by any inkling of shipbait, because she is a dedicated nun. The idea of romance for her present day story (especially with the male lead) grossly over-simplifies the decisions that led her to become a nun.

I do personally feel that the isabelle-laurent-daryl surrogate family idea is *pretty much* just that. I think, personally, DZ is lying when he says that the idea of romance wasn't manufactured. I think he wants us to believe that what we see on screen is organic. Absolutely nothing about the half naked wound helping scene, the happy stares across rooms with a happy score, and the 'isabelle just woke up in hospital and oh look its daryl's crossbow he must have been looking over her' scene is organic. Those are manufactured. Until episode 6, I liked isabelle and I think clemence is great. But daryl and isabelle's chemistry is non existent. I honestly think calling it a friendship is a stretch. Maybe the god awful, problematic "are you going to do to laurent what your dad did to you" could have been forgiven if they'd genuinely had any compelling bond whatsoever, but they didn't, and at best, it came off as needy. At worst (and what it actually was) was emotionally abusive. The thing I have always loved about caryl is that they *never* guilt-tripped each other like that. I really hope Zabel knows that line was truly offensive.

So anyway, I don't know, I think DZ would have liked it to go romantic, but nobody liked it. And based on the way they talked about it at SDCC, I think Norman is set on the idea it's really all about Laurent, and Isabelle is just another adult who cares about the kid so he cares about her too. However, I do think Nicotero and Zabel are invested in the idea that Daryl is falling for her. Nicotero in particular is obsessed with the idea that Daryl's falling for her while he doesn't know Carol is on her way - I actually find him enjoying that idea repulsive. So, I think they've written some ship bait in there, but I think Norman's acting choices will be reluctant. So, as long as there isn't something physical between them, I think Norman and Melissa's chemistry can recover from it. But. Zabel (and Nicotero) are showing their true colours.

While we're on Nicotero. I recently discovered that he has spoken about supporting b*thyl before. So, if that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about him and his idea of how women and romance should be presented on screen in 2024, I don't know what will.

Romantic Caryl

Finally, I want to address the idea of whether Carol and Daryl should or could add a romantic element to their relationship. Lots of people that I agree with have already written well articulated thoughts about this, including this by my-mt-heart. My personal feelings are these.

Carol and Daryl have built a layered, deep, and emotionally rich relationship over 11 seasons of TWD. Fans are aware of the romantic layers throughout the years, and even those who don't follow it closely can see the romantic potential. It would be a disservice to fans to let those years of layering and emotional depth fall flat. And frankly, so many fans simply won't follow. (And if you're worried about fans who don't like the idea not watching - well, honestly, I don't like R*chonne. Love them both individually but I never saw the chemistry and it felt random to me. But I still watched them and cared about them and their story and I even watched The Ones Who Live despite cringing the whole time.)

The creative opportunities are huge. Carol and Daryl are not a stereotypical love story by any means. Their dynamic has been fuelling creative minds for over a decade. I would personally admire any showrunner/writer who steps up to the challenge. Alternatively, not bothering comes across as lazy and cowardly to me.

At this point, there's absolutely no doubt in the audience that Carol and Daryl are soulmates. Their happy ending has been an important theme for a while now. And they are the characters that fans care about. Even fans who don't care about whether they have a romantic relationship agree that their idea of a happy ending would be with each other (and Dog). This wouldn't have to be romantic, but since we know that they are both interested in romantic relationships and have some romantic foundations together - why not? No other romantic relationship either of them could have is ever going to match up against Daryl and Carol's relationship. And why should they both be deprived of romance if they are both interested in romantic relationships? Who does that serve?

The idea that two people can so selflessly love each other for over a decade and end up together romantically is the ultimate bond of love. Suggestions that romance would 'cheapen' or 'ruin' a bond make me question what those people think romance means. It isn't the same as R*chonne's romance. It's quiet and calm and careful. It's two damaged souls uplifting each other. So many viewers are empowered by that sort of story.

It would show that AMC are progressive and not ageist or sexist.

Final thoughts

I can't express enough how much I wanted to ignore all of my doubts about this spinoff because of Melissa's involvement and because I genuinely do trust her creative imagination more than anyone. But the comments by Zabel that were released yesterday have brought back the pit I was feeling in my stomach. I trust Melissa and I will always trust Melissa. But I don't trust Zabel. I don't trust that Zabel is doing right by Melissa or by the characters of Carol and Daryl. That doesn't mean that I think he's evil and doing nothing at all right. I just truly believe that we deserve better and Melissa deserves better.

I will give all of my hard earned cash and time to Melissa projects, but I won't do the same for Zabel, or even Norman without Melissa.

[dogloveri23]

Past Mistakes

pairing: Lyney x reader warning: heartbreak, player behaviour A/n: SO I'm writing this because I recently joined the C.ai squad. Surprisingly, Lyney became a playboy and I have a personal dislike for them. I got the inspiration to write this. hope you all enjoy UID:627473190

Crash! The wooden chair you once sat on flew straight into a wall and shattered. "Calm down my lo-"

"Don't finish that statement Lyney', You interrupt. Your heavy breathing and hardened eyes sparked only regret in the young man. You could feel your ears burning already.

"It wasn't like that', Lyney tried to explain. Lynette could only stay quiet as she watched the scene unfold. She believed it was her fault. In a sense, it was. "So when were you planning to tell me I was just one of your many women, Lyney. After I'd given you all of me or after you'd moved on to your next victim?"

"You're not like them! I love you I would never-"

"Save it, I've heard enough of your lies", you mutter walking away from him. You couldn't believe him. You couldn't listen to your feelings either. "I'm glad that my brother has found someone he likes. I'm tired of seeing him bring multiple women into our home", you could hear Lynette's voice clearly in your head, yet you could only focus on the other part of her statement. You knew that Lyney was flirtatious but a playboy? That you couldn't deal with. You'd made the mistake before. Your heart still bore the scar.

"Please love can we just talk about it?", he asks but you ignore him. You wanted him to shut up and leave as quickly as possible. What would he do after apologizing, Go back to his other women?

"Please sis, Lyney has changed, I didn't say it to get you upset", Lynette pleads and yet your rage doesn't quell. You wouldn't believe her words even if they were true! The thought of him treating many other women the way he treated you made your blood boil. "Are you seeing others now?", You ask not meeting his gaze. "N-no, I cut everyone off as soon as things got serious between us, love", he explains but you don't react.

You're stoic. He hates it. He hates when you get like this. He can no longer read your mind when you're this way. Your poker face had always intrigued him and yet now...it was being used against him. "Love please, I've put that behind me, I only want you. You alone", He pleaded. He was getting more and more desperate. You both knew it. You were hardly the type to believe people could change. Much less playboys. It was something that would always remain in a person. They could only suppress the urges, soon enough they would spring out and stab your heart.

"Lyney, I think we should end this."

"What? Love they are in the past! I only love you! Why can't you see that? Why can't you see I'd drop them and choose you in a heartbeat? I already have!", He says holding onto your arm. His smile was gone, all that you could see was the sadness in his eyes. "Let me go Lyney", You say. You didn't want to yell anymore, you were done.

"I'd rather die"

"Then do", you say as you yank your hand back glaring at him shortly before leaving. "Goodbye Lyney", You say leaving their home with a heavy chest. It had to be done, you couldn't repeat your past mistakes. Not now, not ever.

Part 2?

[shewhotellsstories]

People say Eloise is a self centered white feminist who enjoys the privileges that come with being a Bridgerton and although that's true, she is also a sheltered teenage girl who needs to learn about the world.

Her feelings of marriage are valid and while she needs to learn that desiring motherhood and marriage doesn't make a woman lesser, it's part of growing up and learning true feminism. She's a baby feminist but viewers don't want her to grow. How many teenage girls in today's day and age are all-knowing about feminism theory? Her friendship with Theo taught her about the working class and that connection to the outside world could have been a great learning experience for Eloise. Yes she has the privilege of being a Bridgerton but that safety net is exactly why she should be allowed to advocate for things the way she wanted Whistledown to(not a critique of the character but rather the writing and the fandom)

Penelope did some selfish things as Whistledown, abusing her power (cause it wasn't just about being gossip girl for the bag) and rather than acknowledge that we're expected to sweep it under the rug. I LOVE flawed characters because the writing acknowledges their wrong doings and yet certain characters get away with murder.

Eg s1 Blair was awful to Serena and while she had her reasons for doing so, revenge and her own self worth and abandonment issues, the show acknowledged this and we wanted good things for Blair. Serena slept with her best friend's boyfriend and covered up a mans overdose but we still root for her because she is a good person and is trying to grow.

If Penelope doesn't acknowledge her wrongdoings how can she grow as a character.

"Okay publishing a burn book is wrong but I love writing and I'm good at it, maybe I should become Jane Austin or something."

(throwing in how Edwina was raked over the coals for being angry with Kate and while the half sister comment was uncalled for, she wasnt given the same grace Penelope has been given)

I'm sorry for how long and all over the place this is.

No, I get it. The issue is that some characters are given grace while others are crucified. Some characters have their circumstances considered when examining their behavior while others don't. I hate it that some characters get novellas dedicated to defending their bad behavior while others should've just known better.

And that's totally the way I see Eloise Bridgerton. She's a baby feminist! She is in her just watched Ironed Jawed Angels and has maybe read a few zines era of feminism. When I was 17, I remember saying in class that I didn't think it was possible to be a SAHM and be happy and now my opinions have radically shifted because I'm not a kid anymore. Now, if you'd ask me I'd say it's a vulnerable position to be in economically because your security is tied up in your marriage working out and or your husband never dying, but it's your choice ultimately. What a difference a fully developed brain and college professors who require you to read bell hooks and Audre Lorde can make.

But seriously, the sad irony of Eloise being raked over the coals for "doing nothing" is that she was trying to become more informed and it blew up in her face. Spending time with Theo and other members of the working class was really good for her. Sadly, Penelope should've known better than most that she was genuinely trying to expand her worldview, but Eloise is the only person getting the bad friend allegations.

And yeah, as much as I love Kate and Anthony, people were way too hard on Edwina in season two. No one wanted to hurt her, but who in her position would toss confetti?

Plus, I'm really glad someone else is seeing the endless Gossip Girl comparisons that can be made here!

P.S. If you're interested one of my favorite Kanthony fics ends in Anthony and Kate encouraging Eloise to become a fiction/social commentary writer.

[mins-fins]

missa solemnis

&&. it's not everyday that you waltz with the prince that wants to rip out your tongue, but life is just full of surprises.

pairing: lee donghyuck x m!reader

genre: fairly random really, royalty au, enemies(?) to lovers

warnings: explicit language, reader and hyuck threaten each other the whole time, reader and hyuck both suck so bad but they both want each other so bad

word count: 1k

notes: this whole thing is just one scene from a bigger thing i wrote during the christmas break that i scrapped because i didn't think people would read it.. also because i'm not very good when it comes to writing people as enemies, also it was HORRIBLE i almost throw up every time i even glance at that mess 😞 anyway to celebrate nct dream reincarnation royal au i decided to just take this chunk and edit it so now at least it makes a little more sense 😭?? not my best writing truly but prince hyuck has not left my mind, i need to start writing more royal aus

"if i didn't know better, i'd think you wanted to kiss me right now".

there's a taunting tone in your voice that makes donghyuck glare, but he still doesn't get distracted, keeping up the same momentum he's had since you two began dancing no more than a few minutes ago.

there's a few good reasons you assumed he wanted to kiss you, mainly the direct contact he was making with your lips, he looked like he was about to move forward and connect his lips with yours with absolutely no shame, no regard for his reputation, his soon-to-be-wife, or his supposed "hatred" of you.

"you are an absolute moron".

"aren't i correct?"

donghyuck's poker face doesn't falter, no matter how much you tried to get a smile out of him with idiotic comments or jokes. "nope, wrong as always".

you hum at the princes response, somehow able to stay focused on waltzing as the two of you made your way around in a circle. donghyuck will never understand your way of easily multitasking, how you were somehow able to focus on annoying the absolute shit out of him as well as focus on not stepping on his foot at all.

he has to give it to you (begrudgingly though), it's impressive.

"so what is it then, your highness? you were just staring at my lips because you were bored? lost in your head?"

donghyuck's grip on your hand tightens at the sound of you using his title in such a mocking manner, oh he hates you, he hates you so much that if he had to choose, he'd rather kill you himself then have someone else do it.

you piss him off so much, your words piss him off so much, he wants to punch you, he wants to set you on fire and watch you burn, he wants to so badly stomp you into the ground and watch you suffer—

but holy shit you are absolutely gorgeous.

donghyuck can't even deny it, even with how much denial courses through his veins about topics such as this, anyone with two functioning eyes could see that you are just such a work of art. donghyuck can't even blame all the women that flock to the gates of your palace, hoping to score just one date with you.

"i was too busy thinking about the several torture methods that i could put you through".

"ah i am so hurt, you don't love me sweetheart?"

donghyuck has to use every single bit of patience remaining in his body to not step on your foot and leave you in pain on the dance floor.

the only reason he was dancing with you in the first place was because of a promise he made to his mother, his fiancée was off doing something else, gossiping with the servants, he assumes, she did always enjoy that, a favorite activity of hers that he's learned about from observing.

a dance like this should truly only be preserved for lovers, people who can stand each other, a pair who, with all things considered, won't bicker whilst they were supposed to be focusing on the music.

you two, with all things considered, are an example of everything opposite of that, you can't stand each other, you bicker all the time, and you are truly the furthest thing from lovers.

"call me that again and next time your head won't be attached to your body".

"i like to think you threaten me because you love me".

donghyuck snorts, finally, and you felt a surge of pride in your chest, you'd gotten a smile out of him. "your mind must be the messiest place ever.." he resorts to muttering, not knowing what other specific threats he could tell you. "an idiotic one too, do you ever think clearly? logically?"

you hum, displaying a lack of offense at the words. instead, you just lean closer, the distance between you two minimizing. "i only think about you, sweetheart".

a scoff leaves the prince's lips, he's absolutely done with you, but there's still a good minute left to the song, meaning there's still a good minute of you two waltzing in this ballroom left.

"i just cannot wait for this to be over.."

"you don't say!"

your enthusiasm pisses off donghyuck, but he doesn't step on your foot like he wanted, instead pulling you forward harshly, causing for a yelp of surprise to escape your lips. his arm remains around your waist, ensuring that you won't fall, but you two do bump foreheads.

"jesus! are you crazy!?"

there is absolutely no reason for you two to be pressed this close, your fingers still very much intertwined, just one trip up and your lips would touch.

you wonder in your head if donghyuck is slowly regretting his brash decision.

"what? you don't know how to waltz anymore?"

you always find a way to jab at him, comment on something he did, joke about a little things that you knew got under his skin.

oh lee donghyuck absolutely despises you.

that doesn't explain why he still clearly wants to kiss you, though.

"you're just—" he pauses in the middle of his sentence, suddenly very interested in your facial features, features that he could now clearly see up close. "a moron, an idiot".

"as you've said before".

donghyuck doesn't respond anymore after that, the song isn't even done, a good 25 seconds left before it's ending, but donghyuck was clearly done, as he pushed you away, taking in a breath.

"that's enough of you, have a good night your highness".

the words leave his tongue bitterly, his glare is less of a genuine one and more full of mixed emotions, but he doesn't give you any more time to stare at him, just turns around and walks in the direction of his fiancée.

you watch him walk away, and he doesn't make an effort to even save you one final glance.

the song isn't even over yet.

but he's done, very done.

[sauntervaguelydown]

what's interesting about Zenigata throughout the Lupin iii franchise is that he doesn't really have a core interiority. Everything about Zenigata is exterior.

Part 4 does this insane thing with him where he's locked into his role as judge/jury/executioner to such an extent that it seems pathological--he has to keep Lupin in prison even though it is making him, personally, miserable with grief. He has to make sure Lupin dies rather than let him escape. It will literally destroy the foundation of who he is as a person if he succeeds in the goal he's assigned himself, but he can't possibly do anything else. The law is the law and his job is his job, and he can't let himself be anything else even for a moment. It's fucking intense! It's Greek tragedy!

Compare that to part 5, which was made like? two years? later. And in this one, Zenigata explicitly states that he wants to put Lupin in jail because it's the only way to make Lupin understand his actions have consequences. To force him to turn over a new leaf, make him go straight, and then meet him on the other side. Literally wants to buy him a drink when he gets out of prison.

These could not be more different--I mean it's Antigone vs A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Are either of them more true to the spirit of the character than the other? Well. It's really hard to say, because we just don't know these things about Zenigata in Part One!

What's his relationship to justice? How does he feel about The Law? Is he a corrupt cop, is he noble? Is his chasing Lupin driven by career aspirations or personal passion?

EDIT: I have now read the manga translations, and uhhh well. Apparently they met in college and Zenigata hated his vibe SO bad he spent the rest of his life trying to kill the guy. Not sure that helps us much here.

As it stands, here's a rough list of the stuff I've watched and what its take on Zenigata is

Part One: in the first episode, Zenigata gives a brief explanation of their dynamic (for the sake of the audience) which is already WELL established in-universe. Here he says something like, "Lupin, if you weren't the Grandson of Arsene Lupin, and I wasn't the descendant of the famous Zenigata..." implying that something about this dynamic would change if it wasn't for their Cosmically Assigned Destinies as products of their Two Houses Alike in Dignity etc. What would be different? Would they be friends? I don't know! But Zenigata definitely seems to be beholden to the legacy of his own family here.

there's also an ep where Zenigata has Lupin in jail successfully. Zenigata stays on site guarding the jail the whole 6 months, and eventually one of the other guards says if I didn't know any better I'd think you were looking forward to seeing him escape.

later episodes led by Miyazaki lean more heavily on the context of his career; his relationship to his boss, a conference he wants to attend in his field, the fear of one's job being outmoded by technology etc.

The Mystery of Mamo: Zenigata has so much personal passion! When they tell him to drop the case, he literally quits the force to chase Lupin as a private citizen! This is the one where he swears he'll follow Lupin to the gates of Hell because they are fated rivals. This is also the one where he literally tries to stake Lupin in case he's turned into a vampire. so. I don't know man. He's fucking unhinged in this movie, it's pretty great.

Mamo is known to be closer in tone to the manga than anything else, but Zenigata is not this rabid in the manga. Manga Zenigata is more contemptuous and put-upon.

The Castle of Cagliostro: this is a neutral good Zenigata at his most admirable. When he can't get justice through the law, he teams up with criminals in order to circumvent corrupt government officials. He's also headstrong and fully willing to risk his own career, but not ready to throw it away at the first inconvenience. He is "very fond" of Lupin. He enjoys the chase, but he can put it aside in order to fry bigger fish. You get the impression that he cares about correcting injustice more than the letter of the law.

Part Two: Lupin fakes his death twice that I can remember and BOTH times Zenigata cries about it. On the first occasion, Zenigata shakes the corpse, begs it to wake up, then wonders tearfully what he's going to do with himself now that Lupin is dead. On the second occasion, Zenigata first tries to KILL himself rather than allow Lupin to rescue him (out of a sense of pride) and then cries and calls Lupin a "great man" after Lupin fakes a fatal crash. The resentment IMMEDIATELY gives way to mourning. He's very cavalier with his own life, but precious about Lupin's.

By the way, I love how much this man cries. I ALSO love crying in public and being homoerotically obsessed with my enemies. He's so relatable

the other thing is that this Zenigata is VERY binary about roles; he refuses to jailbreak from extralegal imprisonment because "cops don't escape jail". Doesn't matter that the jail is run by terrorists who are going to kill him, that's Not What Cops Do.

The Fuma Conspiracy: Lupin has faked his death yet again, and Zenigata has--in direct response to this--quit the force and BECOME A MONK, and explicitly says he is busy praying for Lupin's soul so that Lupin can be reincarnated as a law abiding citizen in his next life. What the fuck does this say about Zenigata? Buddy we don't have time to unpack that whole suitcase. In brief: Zenigata is prescriptive about law and legality as equaling goodness/dharma/morality etc. But he also changed his entire life so that he could remain dedicated to THE SOUL OF HIS DEAD NEMESIS. So this is clearly very personal, and has nothing to do with his career.

Part Three: limited familiarity with this one but I HAVE seen the episode where Zenigata gets fired due to his boss's embezzlement scheme and subsequently uncovers the scheme--there's a bit where Lupin pretends to mug him in an alley so they can have a private conversation, and Zenigata IS pretty quick to jump on the trail of this embezzlement scheme instead of chasing Lupin, once he's been tipped off. Perhaps more career driven in this one.

Lupin First Contact: some combination of career-based ambition and, like, Unrequited Rivalry At First Sight. He came here to chase Fujiko and got so distracted by this other idiot that he nearly forgot about her. To be fair, this story is narrated by Lupin so it may not even be an accurate representation of Zenigata within its own canon.

Ten Thousand Movies other from 1990-2005: girl most of these are so bad they are so SO bad. Most of the time Zenigata is not a major player. I can't remember anything he did in these except--oh, in Burning Memories, he uses the jute he keeps in a shinto shrine in his apartment after it survives a major fire. Loved that.

Also, he dresses in drag at the beginning of Farewell Nostradamus. This has nothing to do with anything I just loved it.

The Woman Called Fujiko Mine: corrupt cop. dirtbag. full stop.

okay, no, really. Here he is explicitly concerned with his career; he laments that he had to take grunt work to get by, talks about being busted down the chain after reporting his dirty boss, is extremely defensive of anyone muscling in on his Case even someone he has every reason to trust... this is a man who only cares about his career

he does fuck Fujiko and it IS a corrupt move. He seems to imply he's done this before with other thieves. He KNOWS she faked an orgasm and he doesn't care. He's mean as hell.

He cares about his pride. He seems to think Having Personal Pride is incompatible with participating in corruption. Does not explain why he exploited Fujiko Mine for sex. Maybe corruption doesn't count if you don't respect the person you're violating the rights of.

So, overall, have I got a thesis?

Basically, everyone who writes Zenigata has a different take on what his core motivation is. All the stuff that is core to Zenigata is in his affect, in his actions. He's enthusiastic, emotional, hotheaded, stubborn, prone to cackling, smart but not quite smart enough. What he thinks and what he feels, what he does in his private life, remains surprisingly mysterious.

Several of these takes are mutually exclusive. Mamo and Cagliostro simply do not overlap, just like Part 4 and Part 5 are at odds with each other. You can't put Mamo and Cagliostro and Part 1 in a blender without creating some new third thing inaccurate to all three.

For my money, here's what I think the core points would be, if I was starting out to write a fresh series or something:

the Shinto angle; his duty to the family legacy, especially with a famous ancestor like the OG Zenigata, looms large over the current inspector. He has a lot to live up to.

although they met through his job, he's very specifically attached to Lupin in a way that has nothing to do with his job; in fact, his desire to be close to Lupin is at odds with his career

he started out being ambitious and career oriented--this is why he started chasing Lupin, hoping to make a name for himself.

his career has fully stalled out and he's in conflict with himself about the joy his gets from chasing Lupin vs the expectations he set for himself ten years ago

ACAB; if he's actually ethical and cares about civil rights, he's got to be Insanely Unpopular with other cops. The only reason he might be able to get away with this and still have a job is that he's A) an accidental celebrity now with a weird amount of public clout B) he's got insane tunnel vision and doesn't notice major violations of human rights unless they are Directly In his Line of Vision. Nonetheless, this is unsustainable in the long term.

*I'm also a proponent of "Zenigata used to be more ruthless and corrupt, but he's actually picked up ethics somehow from being around criminals all the time" simply because. it is funny.

In conclusion: probably the reason we don't have solid answers to these questions is because Zenigata is like a dog chasing cars. He doesn't know what he'd do with one if he caught it. Nonetheless, he's gotta chase that goddamn fiat.

[oops-all-concrete]

I'm doing another BG3 companions headcanons dump, since I enjoyed the last one a lot! So please enjoy;

BG3 COMPANIONS REACT TO; TAV IS SCARED!

(For further context, companions reacting to Tav having to be around something they don't like, eg; water, small spaces, fire, undead etc, or they're just jumpy in general. Also, romance is not established, but implied!)

Wall of fluff below, enjoy

Lae'zel -

It depends on the fear. If it's something like a cave that's barely holding up or the group is sneaking past a hoard, she'll agree the situation is critical, but encourage focus. "I'd also like for this to be over. But it won't be if we hesitate and dally" but if it's something like heights or rivers, she doesn't understand...but she will become a githyanki barrier between Tav and whatever is causing them stress.

Shadowheart -

She's pretty understanding of most fears. She freezes at the mere howl of a distant wolf, so if Tav flinches at the crackle of fire or the smell of blood, so be it. She keeps an eye out and tries to find work arounds if the group is about to enter somewhere Tav is going to hate. If it's unavoidable, she's as gentle as possible. "We've got this. It'll be over before you know it, I promise you. Then we'll never have to do this again."

Wyll -

He'll make it as tolerable as possible, but will encourage Tav to face their fears head on. "I'm not scared. I have no reason to be and neither do you, because I won't let anything happen to you" he'll promise. Won't push, won't complain. Just keeps Tav in arms reach and stays calm. He's proudly Tavs dedicated rock. And sheild. And blade. He sasses anybody has anything to say about it.

Karlach -

"Don't worry. Mama K is the best teifling sheild around, from here to Avernus! Stick close" She smiles, confident as ever. Even if she is scared too, she'll pretty much forget about that while Tav is scared. Tav is her main priority, and she let's them know proudly. Anyone else says anything? She's reaching for the greataxe.

Gale -

Doesn't want you to be embarrassed, so he tells you about a silly fear he has. Has a knack for rambling Tav into distraction, so he takes advantage as best he can of their attention. Of course in a moment of panic he'll drop the 'I did something stupid' fake laughter and immediately stop everything. "We can go, right now. I'm sure we can find another way to do this, we always do. I don't care if it takes longer, it's got to be better than watching you shake like that"

Astarion -

He pretends not to notice. Not because he doesn't care, but comfort has never been his strong suit. He worries he's going to make it all worse if he addresses Tav about it. Instead he occupies himself with laughing about whatever situation they're in. If he knows anything, its how to be disarming, and laughter works like a charm...but if it doesn't and nobody else steps in to comfort Tav, he'll do it- granted the words are coming out before he can think too hard; "Look at me. You have survived a goblin camp of cultists, an entire githyanki creche- we met after crashing from a nautaloid ship with illithid worms in our heads. This is nothing. You're stronger than this."

Bonus! (the elders)

Halsin -

He can tell they're nervous before Tav can. He checks in regularly and asks repeatedly if there's anything else he can do to make it all easier. Once it gets to be too much, he calls it for Tav. "I understand if you'd rather myself and a few others handle this. While I'm proud of you for staying, I can promise you no disappointment if you wish to leave. Your wellbeing isn't worth sacrificing for this"

Jaheira -

Similar to Halsin, she's very quick to pick up on when something upsets Tav even if they don't say anything. She subtly keeps an ear out for how well they're holding up, and will make excuses for Tav to take breaks and get further away from the thing they're scared of. "Apologies, but this old druid needs to rest her old lady hips. Tav, it would be safer if we both went to that safe spot there, come on." Jaheira won't bring it up, but its easy to figure out what she's doing.

Minsc -

He doesn't notice for a while, even if its obvious, but once it occurs to him, he draws an obnoxious amount of attention to it. Granted he's also asking people to get between you and the source of discomfort and will tell anyone who so much as sighs to politely shut the fuck up. If he thinks it will help, he will put Boo on Tavs shoulder. "Boo is a war criminal! Everything fears Boo. He'll protect you from all the nasties, won't you Boo?"

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you guys have any prompt ideas, I'd LOVE to write more ^^

[strxwberrybtch]

A Hellish Love Story // Pt. 4

Pairing: Vox x F!Reader

Warnings: Strong Language, Suggestive Content

A/N: This is mainly a filler chapter with some spicy tension. Sorry it took a zillion years to come out... oops. Don't hate me and I hope you enjoy :)

---

After shaking your hand and offering a warm smile, Vox sat you both down on the couch in his office. He insisted that it would be a good idea to get to know eachother a little bit since you'll be working closely together.

You quickly learned a lot about the TV man. He talked about his empire, his colleagues and his beloved shark, Vark. In return you told him about yourself- what your living life was like, your current life, your love for writing.

Vox watched you intently and admired every inch of your face as you spoke to him- trying to store every little detail within his programming. Your cute little nose, your pearly white fangs, and the way your fiery eyes lit up every time you smiled.

And oh satan... that damn smile.

He could get off just by looking at your face.

You were about to ramble on about something else, but the man before you beat you to it.

"You have such pretty eyes, Y/N" Vox complimented, looking straight into your soul.

Well, his soul.

Ironic.

For the millionth time today you felt sick, but in a weird giddy school girl type of way????

Before you could muster up a response, the sound of his office door opening broke your intense eye contact. You both turned your heads finding the source of your interruption.

"M-Mr.Vox. Sorry to interrupt sir. Your meeting with Carmilla is in 5 minutes," His assistant said hesitantly, scanning between the two of you.

You could tell that Vox wasn't happy by the way his eyes starting glitching. He stole a glance at you before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

He quickly recovered himself from freaking the fuck out because that was the last thing he wanted you to see.

"Thank you. You're dismissed," He muttered with a forced, toothy smile.

With that his assistant peered at you one last time before taking his leave from the room.

Vox sighed quietly and muttered something to himself before turning back to face you on the couch. He slowly reached his hands out and grabbed yours, holding them gently.

"I'm sorry to cut our time short, I'd cancel the meeting but it's unfortunately one I can't miss. I've canceled on the bitch too many times," He apologized as his thumbs began running smooth circles on the back of your hands.

You felt yourself blushing as you watched his large hands toy with yours.

"I-It's no worries. You're a busy guy," You managed to say as you shifted your focus to his lust-filled eyes.

"Such a sweetheart for understanding," He praised bringing the two of you to your feet.

You almost had to catch yourself as your knees weakened from the petname. You quickly recovered yourself but, it didn't last long.

He brought one of his hands up and lightly brushed a stray baby hair out of your face, not giving much thought behind the action. In the process, a small surge of electricity passed from his finger onto your skin.

You swallowed a gasp as chills raked over your form from his electric touch.

Get yourself together, Y/N.

He's your boss....

with a flat screen for a face.....

a hot face.

Vox didn't want to go to that stupid fucking meeting. But he'd pushed the meeting back far too many times and he was tired of hearing Carmilla bitch about it. Plus, it wasn't good business.

He would much rather stay here, alone with you.

But there will be plenty of times for the two of you to be alone.

He'll make sure of it.

"Meet me here tomorrow first thing in the morning so we can get start getting stuff together," He said as he peered down at your tiny form.

"Yeah, of course! It was nice actually getting to know the man who owns my soul. Who would've thought," You said the last part mostly to yourself but Vox heard. He doesn't know why but hearing you admit that made his stomach erupt with butterflies.

He reluctantly released his hold on your hand as you began to pull away. He watched as you gathered your belongings and headed towards the exit. You opened the door to leave but paused briefly. You turned and looked Vox in his eyes.

"Thank you again, sir. You won't regret it," With that you disappeared, shutting the door quietly behind you.

"Oh I'm definitely not regretting this," Vox said with a smug smile to himself.

You were going to be his.

And he was going to be yours...

---

A/N: OKAY I KNOW IM AN AWFUL PERSON FOR THIS BEING SHORT AND TAKING FOREVER TO COME OUT. I started working a second job and haven't really felt like writing, but I just finished a book I started YESTERDAY and I'm feeling somewhat inspired again. So please bare with me and I hope you guys are liking the series so far. Stay tuned :)) xox strawbs

[supercorpkid]

Ace Reporter - part 3

Supergirl, Kara Danvers x Reader, Lena Luthor x Reader

Word Count: 2350

Part 1, Part 2

Your editor is thrilled with the situation you just got yourself into. Flying to Kaznia to find Lex's secrets, with another Luthor and a CatCo reporter is like a dream come true. To him. 

To you, this is probably high on the list of your worst nightmares. Anything Lex Luthor related would easily be up on your list, but with Kara's words hanging over your head since you last saw her, this situation is easily number one.

‘I'd make out in a closet too if you were my Lois’, keeps haunting you in your sleep. How dare she say something like that? It's not even like you were being nice to her all this time. Polite, maybe. Sometimes not even that. What would make Kara think that in a week or so of you being polite at best, you had any interest in making out with her?

Or is it a tactic to throw you off your game? You two are getting on a plane to fucking Kaznia with Lena Luthor. Maybe she is trying to destabilize you, so she can ask the best questions. Yes, this should be it. But you won’t fall for that. 

Kara Danvers will not distract you!

“Lena, hey!” She waves at Lena like two best friends would and you furrow your brows at the interaction. “Look who I brought with me! The best investigative journalist in the business!”

Kara turns to you and flashes the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, capable of lighting up the whole world. You bite your lip to keep you from smiling too.

Yep. You’re screwed.

"You remember Y/N, right?"

And then Lena comes closer, a big smile on her face as well, showing you her hand. “We’ve met. I’m familiar with her approach.” She raises an eyebrow at you while you shake her hand strongly. “Flattery and flirting.”

“Flirting?” Kara mumbles under her breath, shocked.

“It’s not usual, mostly circumstantial depending on who I'm interviewing." You match Lena's smirk. 

"See, I am flattered." Lena smiles, pointing to the private jet, and you follow her leaving a dumbfounded Kara Danvers behind.

"Are you coming, Danvers?" You add a little smirk, and watch her cheeks going a dark shade of red. You don't understand why you're flirting with both women, and enjoying it so much. But you're finding it hard to stop.

Kara Danvers is a good reporter. Knows her facts and asks the right questions. Her little notes are already worth the front page of the stupid magazine she works for. And yet, you find it hard to admit she deserves all the prizes in the world just for being herself. Strip her out of all her journalist qualities and she would still deserve all the prizes and all the best. There's also something else you've been thinking about stripping her out from.

You would rather die than tell her that.

Lena Luthor is a good… What is Lena's job description, anyway? CEO? Scientist? Hottest woman alive? She is good at everything. Creating a plane that flies itself, transforming her brother's evil company into something for good, having one of the sharpest minds you've ever seen. Those are some of the things that she can do, while looking extremely hot.

You might die if you can't tell her that.

But you're at a job. You can't go around thinking about Kara's muscular arms, and Lena's perfect eyes. Can't picture yourself with one or the other, or even between both sometimes. No matter how many times you find yourself in that exact position.

And it's weird, because you're quick to find that not only they have a good work relationship but they are also best friends. Lena goes to game nights and dinner dates with Kara and her friends. Has worked alongside Kara's sister and Supergirl (What? Nice!) several times to help save the world. They are all extremely connected, and you're the odd one out.

Usually you'd hate that feeling. But while you're at a job you actually enjoy that. You like that they are somewhat careless to talk about their everyday life and how much intel that gives you.

At least you were enjoying it, until the plane got hit with a lightning strike and you let out an embarrassing shriek in shock.

"Don't worry, it's just a lightning storm." But Lena's chuckle is not one that makes you calmer, instead, it makes you more nervous when you look out the window.

"Is lightning usually purple?" Kara asks the question right out your lips.

The airplane loses power. A bad sign. Really bad one. Especially when it starts dropping a few meters high, and Lena runs to the cockpit saying she is going to land the plane.

"We need to make an emergency landing, and I need an extra pair of hands." Lena yells from up front and you're up on your feet before Kara even has a chance to think about it. If you're going to die, you're going to fight for your life first, and not depend on other people to save you.

"We need to get the power back on." Lena points to the electric wires. "I have to believe you know how to hotwire something."

"What, do I look too much like a bad girl?" You snark, but your hands are already making quick work on the wires, and Lena celebrates with an excited 'yes!' when you get the engine back on.

"Bad girl or not, I believe you're my savior." Lena smiles, but it soon turns into a frown when she realizes she is going to have to land the plane. "Go check on Kara while I land this."

"On it." You get up from your place next to Lena, and go back to where Kara was seated. "Danvers?"

She emerges from the bathroom, looking flustered. "I wouldn't have eaten all that sushi if I knew this was going to happen. God, I hate flying." 

You hold back a laugh and the wish to say, she shouldn't have eaten all that sushi anyway. Lena safely lands the plane and appears next to you in a blink.

"That lightning wasn't natural, someone brought us down on purpose." 

Shocking. You're in Kaznia to find out Lex's secrets and someone tries to take down your airplane. Yeah, truly shocking.

You might have ruined the element of surprise, but there's nothing you can do now, except to go in and try to gather as much information as possible. You three make your way inside a military facility. 

Lena sounds completely shocked he would have an army behind him, you and Kara do nothing but share a look, not surprised and not comfortable in this place.

DEO, test subject, cloning, aliens, desert facility. They throw out words that mean something to them, but to you this is all pretty much new. You're not stupid though, you're quick to understand what Lex Luthor was trying to do by gathering aliens and trying to harvest their powers.

But obviously all this information wouldn't just be lying around with no one to guard them. You're lost and confused and definitely way out of place here. Lena realizes someone named Eve was working with Lex behind her back, and she can clone herself! Like, how is this real life, and why are you tangled in this web when it has literally nothing to do with you at all?

And yet, you're here in fucking Kaznia, running from a psychopath and trying to protect your physical integrity while Lena uses a electric shock thing to fight the clones off and Kara uses her fist. Oh, and to top it all off, there's also a loud alarm saying the whole place is going to explode in a few minutes. Great. Just great.

Again, how did you end up here?

You duck from a fist almost a second too late, but luckily Eve hits the wall behind you, and you can't help but yell.

"Shit! I don't get paid enough for this!" You say, while Lena knocks the clone you were supposed to be fighting out of the way. What the fuck is happening here, and why do the both of them know how to defend and fight and you look extremely stupid running and yelling for your life?

When you suggested you and Kara found out something about Lex, this entire situation never once crossed your mind.

Another clone comes at you while Lena is distracted and Kara is knocking one down. Ok, then. You turn your hands into fists, ready to fight. Before you have the chance to even move, she punches your face and you stumble back, hitting the wall. Ouch, and also, goddamn it! 

Kara is holding the clone by the collar of her jumpsuit, and tossing her away from you the very next second. How did she show up in front of you so fast? 

She touches your face gently, one eye blinking a tear of worrisome away. "You ok?"

There's a sharp pain on your face. You are not ok! Why the fucking hell are you getting punch here, just to find out Lex Luthor's fucking secrets just so Lena can give you a fucking ass quote about her brother, so you can come back home? This is not worth it!

"Find the way out. Get out of here." Kara instructs, after you slightly nod at her. 

Even though you are dying to do what she just said, you are stubborn enough to not let Kara Danvers get all the credit for this crusade.

"No! I'm in this until the end!"

But then a new clone comes running at you and Kara has to defend you once again.

"I'm not letting you get hurt for an article." She growls, impatient. "Get to safety, please. We're in this together. I'm not going to keep anything away from you. You have to trust me."

You squeeze your eyes shut, indecision crossing your mind. How can she ask you that? You don't trust her! You don't believe she is not going to keep something from you just so she can have the upper hand in this. But then again, why would she be protecting you with so much intent? Why would Kara Danvers shed a tear for your pain?

"Go, Y/N!" Lena yells from the other side as well. "We're right behind you! Find the way out, we don't have much time."

Your feet finally detach from the ground and you run out of there, trying to find the exit with the loud alarm clogging up your every move and your thoughts. 

Splitting up was probably the stupidest idea ever, though. Is not like you can fight the evil Eve's clone by yourself if you are met with one. You're still shocked Kara was able to fight so many with nothing but her hands.  

Actually, somehow, deep down, you're not shocked. Girl has those rock solid biceps, insatiable hunger, and behind that sweet dweeb face she looks so… so… Strong. Powerful. Super.

“Sometimes I think you have a secret.”

You hear your own voice, replaying a conversation you once had with her.

Kara Danvers just seems to think that clues and information fall on her lap.

But what if they don't fall on her lap because she is good at it. What if she just sees more than anyone?

Kara: What's up with Y/N?

Clark: Best reporter I know. Great at finding people's secrets.

What if Clark saying you're great at finding other people's secrets wasn't a compliment? What if Kara Danvers not wanting to work with you had nothing to do with sharing the byline but you finding out her secret, the one you're so sure she has?

You stop in front of a door, eyes inadvertently zooming in inside. It's a bedroom. There's a bed, a nightstand, and the awful green wallpaper is peeling off in several places but none of that catches your attention. What grabs your attention is the absurd amount of pictures on the walls. Most of them are of Kara and Lena together, but Kara is in every single one of them. Why is this? Who would have such a weird obsession with that nerdy dork?

Your eyes travel fast between all the pictures. The alarm is going off loudly in the background, mixed with distant voices and there's this somber atmosphere embracing you, making you just want to get the hell out of this creepy room.

But your eyes keep going, scamming the room for everything it has. Until your stomach drops. Blood runs cold. There are two pictures right next to each other that make your heart beat so fast, you can feel it up in your throat.  

Kara Danvers in one, hands on her waist. That nerdy looking face, glasses, crinkle, thin lips, that just makes you wanna punch it sometimes. And then kiss her right after to make it all better. It's an inexplicable feeling, really. 

And right next to it, there's one of Supergirl. Hands on her waist. Looking all mighty and powerful and strong. Looking like a freaking goddess, and yet. The feeling is the same. The same need of kissing her face with an uppercut, and then, well, a real kiss.

It's really embarrassing how obvious it is. And you know how shocked you're supposed to be right now, but you're not. Not even the slightest.

Kara Danvers is Supergirl. 

The loud alarm and countdown in a foreign language disappear in the background and even though you’re sure it’s still there, you can’t hear a thing. Your head spins out of control because you knew that. Knew there was a secret, knew there was more to Kara than stupid cardigans and dweeb face. You absolutely knew that.

And then, like clockwork:

"You are exactly like Clark. Disappears, comes back all disheveled…"

"Clark told me his cousin works for CatCo. Her name is Kara Danvers."

Clark Kent is Superman.

Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit. 

These certainly weren't the secrets you thought you'd stumble upon while in Kaznia.

[horse-girl-anthy]

beneath the cut is an essay I've titled "Ikuhara Fandom, Shoujo Manga, and Eroticism." it discusses potentially upsetting subject matter.

when I first encountered RGU in 2014, I was largely baffled, though I thought the ending was very good. after that, I didn't rewatch more than an episode or two of the show again until 2020. Ikuhara was inaccessible to me as a teenager, but I spent years studying media, so when I returned to RGU, it was like discovering a goldmine. by the end of 2020, I'd watched all of Ikuhara's original shows.

the thing is, I still found Ikuhara challenging. there were things about his works which were seemingly contrary to my value system. I would read interviews of his and he would say things which sounded alarming--to use cliche terminology, he wasn't very politically correct.

if we're being honest, there is a party line in a lot of left-leaning fandom spaces. I used to be a part of that more than I am now; I had rigid ideas of right and wrong. today in the Ikuhara fandom, I often feel like the elephant in the room is that his works aren't the kind of "queer feminist masterpieces" that people portray them as. now, by that, I don't mean that those words don't apply to his works: what I mean is that the way people frame them, the way they discuss their meaning, doesn't bear that much relation to Ikuhara and his oevre.

RGU gets this treatment more than his other works. in fact, certain fans want to claim it as the work which truly aligns with their values, while Penguindrum, YKA, and Sarazanmai actively subvert RGU's message. a lot of other fans just stick with RGU, claiming it as a work without critiquing it. by critique, I don't mean negative criticism: I mean critique as in actual engagement with the text.

I remember that there was a point when I was afraid to engage with more Ikuhara interviews/works, since I thought I would find something out about him that made it so that I couldn't enjoy RGU. after all, when I would hang around in RGU spaces, every so often I'd see someone say that Ikuhara was super problematic. then I realized I was ignoring one of RGU's main themes, facing the truth rather than trying to stay in an idyllic past, so I took the dive. I had my ideas challenged, my values changed, and my entire approach to media shifted by doing so.

it's been strange to be in the English-speaking fandom, where everything is taken very seriously and there's certain universal assumptions about RGU's meaning, when many of the things held as absolutes are simply not so in the Japanese fandom. equally, the creative minds behind RGU are often in conflict with the Western fandom as well. once or twice, I've seen someone point this out and say that RGU is actually problematic/patriarchal, but mostly, it is ignored.

for instance, the character Ruka is massively hated in the western fandom, while as far as I understand, Juri/Ruka is one of the most common Japanese doujin pairings. Mamoru Hosoda, who storyboarded many Juri episodes, claimed that Ruka was in love with Juri. turning to Ikuhara, he often phrases things in a way that could leave you wondering if he's as much of a "feminist ally" as people want to paint him as. of the women's liberation movement, Ikuhara said, "On the one hand you had this social movement, but then in their heads I think almost everyone was thinking: this is lame (laugh), I don't wanna do this (laugh)."

consider this exchange from the same interview for a demonstration of just how differently people in the western fandom approach media compared to Ikuhara and a contemporary of his, art critic Mari Kotani:

Ikuhara: Speaking of sexuality, after Utena I wrote a novel which features lots of hermaphroditic characters. It's a collaborative work, a book called Schell Bullet. Kotani: It is a fantasy world? Ikuhara: It's a future world. Humanity has divided into roughly two groups, Majors and Minors. Because of gene manipulation the Majors are hermaphrodites without male/female sexes, and they have a monopoly on good genetic material. The Minors are humans who have fallen away from the monopolized gene material, they look basically the same are present-day humans, and have two sexes. Kotani: Sounds interesting! Are the Minors kind of like slaves, like in The Human Livestock Yapū?

later:

Ikuhara: The boss is visually female, a Major with a very bold beauty. From the start I wanted the main character's boss to be a hermaphroditic woman. That's because, the way I see it, even the Major women in the real world, that is to say women who are competent workers, seem to have an intense male side. 

what I find most interesting in this exchange is how Kotani casually brings up the idea of sexual slavery as a fun angle for Ikuhara's hermaphrodite novel. it's not to say that this kind of attitude is universal in Japan, just as leftist fandom spaces aren't universal here in America. however, there is obviously a huge difference in values between these two worlds.

so, what world is Ikuhara occupying? where did he come from and what are his influences? exploring these questions is what helped me to come to peace with his works, and in the process, I changed my own thinking.

I'm not really qualified to speak in depth on Japan, its history, culture, or values. however, I have looked into specific trends which I know were influences on Ikuhara specifically, so that's what I'll focus on here.

Ikuhara was born in 1964 and became a teenager in the 1970s. it was a period marked by a lot of social movements. he describes in many interviews feeling completely disillusioned when, rather than change society, the movements were crushed or simply collapsed in on themselves. "oh, maybe there's no way to change the world after all." however, one way or another, he seems to have pulled himself out of that despair. his works are all designed to give modern people a way out of the end of history brought on by the failure of radical change and the onset of the neoliberal global order.

as a young creative, he was into the dramatist/director Shuji Terayama and other artists who were pushing boundaries. in the Kotani interview, he stated:

Ikuhara: Terayama's words are interesting too, but what I find the most kitschy and cool is his theatre. Suddenly a completely naked actress would appear, without even a genital cover, and this was in Kinokuniya Hall! The police might barge in saying "Hey, wait a second". I guess this is why they say it's a fine line between a hero and a criminal (laugh), but until then I had never thought that showing your panties or showing your willy could be anything but shamelessness, and now the Asahi Shimbun was treating it as superb culture. I found that gap extremely mysterious and fascinating, and personally I felt a cultural nuance there.

clearly, the libertine values of 20th century countercultures left their mark on him. more than that, he is interested in the conflict between sexual repression and sexual expression, which has only escalated in Japan and in the West up until today.

turning to the anime/manga sphere, I know that RGU has a reputation as being very triggering, but to be honest, compared to its predecessors, RGU is mild and restrained. J.A. Seazer, a musician who Tereyama collaborated with, wrote songs for both RGU and the the 1992 anime film Midori. the story is old, dating back to the beginning of the 20th century, and it's been adapted as recently as 2016. Midori is an exploitation film: full of child rape, set in a freak show, featuring countless horrors in its 40-minute run. I've watched it and would not recommend it unless you're interested in the ero guro genre.

I bring up Midori as an example of the media landscape Ikuhara began his career in. he was working on Sailor Moon, so obviously, there was less heavy content in the world of anime and manga, but Sailor Moon is represents only one side of shoujo. Ikuhara is more aligned with the Year 24 Group, who revolutionized shoujo in the 1970s. the group produced a wide range of works, many of which had obvious influences on Ikuhara.

I know that Ikuhara is often associated with lesbians, but in fact, I would say that shoujo BL is one of his largest anime/manga influences. the early work Kaze to Ki no Uta is an acknowledged influence on RGU, and Ikuhara did an interview with its mangaka, Takemiya Keiko.

many of the early BL mangaka were inspired by western literature. Demian is not only referenced in RGU but also in Kaze to Ki no Uta. most important for BL is the 1912 German novel Death in Venice, as well as its 1971 film adaptation. for those unfamiliar, the novel is about a man in his 50s stalking a young teenage boy, becoming completely obsessed with him and other underage kids. it is a sexual obsession, but there are other angles to it, and the story has been analyzed in various ways. the fascination seen in shoujo and BL with beautiful young boys, as well as pedophilia, can be in part traced back to this story.

taking inspiration from Death in Venice, shoujo's fundamental character dynamic was established, one that can also be seen in a film such as Midori: innocence versus experience. the ever-present theme is corruption, how abuse and exploitation corrode personalities and create societal damage.

how this is handled can vary from work to work. I understand that grotesque depictions of child abuse or failure to condemn pedophilia hard enough make some people not want to engage with these works at all. I will say, whatever one thinks of Death in Venice, Kaze to Ki no Uta, along with the BL manga of Takemiya's contemporary Moto Hagio, are certainly not child porn. I think there is no excuse for CP, and even if there are things in Kaze to Ki no Uta that I question, it is overall a work of artistic merit, beyond holding interest to me as an early work in the genre.

as I've said, RGU is mild compared to much of what came before it, as well as a contemporary manga like A Cruel God Reigns. however, the core of its character dynamics are in line with shoujo/BL. the twist is that the work focuses on relationships between women.

Kotani: ...Watching it, the relationships between women, including the dialogue, were very sexual, very vivid, right? Ikuhara: But I think what it is expressing is simply yaoi. To do that using shōjo "royal road"-like characters, and with two women, is somewhat rare I think.

Utena and Anthy are easy to compare to BL couples who came before them, like Serge and Gilbert or Ash and Eiji. rather than approach gender issues through projection on to pretty boys, Be-Papas chose to use women, creating their own version of a gendered social system. of course, other Year 24 Group members used lesbians or GNC women to explore similar themes, with Rose of Versailles being another major influence on RGU. however, Ikuhara claiming that RGU is essentially yaoi has fascinated me for years.

Anthy and Akio are experience, knowledge, and corruption, while Utena is innocence, youth, and purity. like many predatory shoujo characters, Akio is obsessed with innocence and purity while also seeking to destroy them. the drama centers on Utena's struggle with corruption, as well as Anthy's conflicted feelings towards her friend's naivety, as she both identifies her past self with Utena and resents her for her ignorance. the story also features intense power dynamics, which, over the course of the narrative, are upset. all of these elements are standard for BL and shoujo.

to dig deeper into the value sense behind these works, here is a passage from the Takemiya/Ikuhara interview:

Takemiya: What I wanted to ask is about “crossing the line” for a girl [implicitly losing one's virginity/sexual purity]. I thought Utena crossed it unexpectedly easily. Ikuhara: Ah, I’m not thinking very deeply, right? Actually, I just wanted to suggest that it doesn’t matter. Because a lot of people seem to get caught up in issues of purity, I wanted to show that it didn’t matter. Takemiya: But doesn’t it seem like more kids these days don’t care about those things? Ikuhara: Yes, and that’s another reason I did it. But I think there are still many people who would try to put it in a box and say purity is important because it is an animation. Takemiya: Actually I think it’s more likely a lot of people will try to use the purity as an index of understanding. I guess you are an adult if you can overcome that. Ikuhara: That’s true, there are a lot of people that want to put a line between justice and absolute evil based on purity. I didn’t want them to do that. Whether manga or anime, I think it can become a motivation for the viewers and the readers in real life. I don’t like when people draw lines, out in society, equating absolute evil with impurity - in an animation which is nothing more than fiction, drawing a line between those that are carnally pure and those that are not.

I think we can all agree that Akio was in the wrong for trying to make Utena feel guilty for sleeping with him in episode 38 of RGU. but going further, Ikuhara and Takemiya say that they want to reject purity as an index of understanding altogether. to me, what this means is not jumping to immediate judgments, not treating issues of sexuality as if they are so deep as to sully the soul.

this is NOT to make some kind of excuse for pedophilia or child porn. I know from my own life how harmful those things are. to close out this discussion, I am going to try to explain what I mean by touching on the use of eroticism in art.

years ago, I was watching Naoki Urasawa's Manben, a show which gives space to mangaka to show off their process. Junji Ito went on it, and I was troubled by the following moment from the episode:

before I got into Ikuhara, I didn't have a grasp on the erotic. when I watched this, my thought was, why are they talking about a toddler being erotic?

after having gained an appreciation for eros's place in art, I understand what they were saying here. eros is hard to define, but it relates to sensuality: a way of interacting with the world which is beyond the intellect. the erotic is not pornographic: it is evocative, a way to make any work of art touch its audience on a deeper level. it is related to sexuality but is not the same thing as it. for Ito, exaggerating the erotic aspect of this character helps him to create even greater horror. the point is not to make a toddler sexy.

RGU relies heavily on this kind of eroticism for different purposes, both within the series and in the promotional art. whenever I see someone trying to ban a specific kind of fan art, I roll my eyes for this very reason. it's not as if there's any significant numbers of people making RGU exploitation porn or anything; most of it is in line with the show itself. for instance:

official art of characters all 13 and younger

Anthy having sex with her brother in the series proper (episode 31)

I have seen RGU called exploitative and fetishized, though not as often as I've seen the same criticism leveled at later Ikuhara works. however, more often than not, the disturbing eroticism of RGU is left uncommented on.

to come full circle, the reason that I now have a lot of admiration for Ikuhara is that I've come to see that the "problematic" aspects of his work help him to tell meaningful stories. all of his anime are designed to spark self-revelation/self-transformation in their audiences. additionally, I now appreciate erotics for what they are, feeling them on the sensual level rather than intellectualizing about them. viewing the above images, various readings can be drawn, arguments made about the impact of their eroticism on the themes they express. however, there is a more primal appeal to them, something which draws the eye. that aesthetic quality, by itself, deserves to be defended. those who dislike it should probably not engage with Ikuhara works. from RGU commentary, episode 38:

Hideki Mori: Are you always trying to work in this type of erotic undertone? Ikuhara: Yes, well... if it doesn't have that kind of stuff... it's not very interesting! Either I'm doing it to make it interesting or maybe I just wanted to see that.

I will finish with two final points. firstly, I think that letting go of one's automatic response of moral judgment is essential when approaching Ikuhara anime. this is not the same thing as advocating for a laissez-faire, anything-goes approach; it is simply saying, before applying preconcieved notions, let the work's textual, aesthetic, erotic, and sensual levels wash over you. if you give the work time and find some aspect of it offensive, that's one thing, but I am glad that I didn't let my kneejerk reactions turn me off of Ikuhara. along with that, don't immediately apply some kind of feminist, queer, or leftist lens to explain everything either. just let the work breathe.

lastly, I want to share Ikuhara's words on what affect he thought RGU had on its audience:

Ikuhara: I didn’t want 'Utena' to become a nice story. A story can be pretty, but it feels like a lie. From the beginning, the story was going to be about saving a friend, so in that sense that was the goal, but it can easily become a nice story, so to break away from that I made sure that it was a foolish story. I think it’s this foolishness that makes ‘Utena’ so popular with adults. Not in a sexual way, but more that watching it at that point makes it more relatable. 

to re-emphasize, my point with this discussion was that much of Ikuhara's artistry is ignored because his approach and influences are considered problematic. that being said, it was never his intention to make a work about "sexy teenagers" who adult viewers can masturbate over. none of his works are that: they feature students because anime often features students, and because he has an interest in the threshold between childhood and adulthood. although I am now 26, I can see myself in all of his casts, and the eroticization of the art makes me more invested in the story and themes, not titillated.

[satohqbanana]

Ireus won the Badly-Described Characters poll for Magia, so as promised, here's the interview with a shiny new portrait from yours truly!

Satoh: Hello! I'm Satoh, and here I am with the boy with the confident smile: Ireus Maverick! Ireus: Sup!

Satoh: Hi! Thank you for giving your time. Well, I know about you, but our viewers don't. Could you introduce yourself? Ireus: Oh, sure, why not? The name's Ireus Maverick. I'm a mage attuned to light magic, and the son of the local star general doctor, Aria Saramanka. I hope to one day be like Dad - he's more of a researcher. Buuut don't be fooled; these hands of mine aren't just for regenerative magic!

Satoh: Ho ho, I'll make sure to remember that. But first, do tell us about this medicinal endeavor of yours. Ireus: Well, since I was child, I've been helping out my Mom at the clinic. Everything she did was just interesting, you know? There's jars and herbs everywhere, books, bubbles, lots of smells… Besides, it's so fascinating to watch people get better. I just don't like the part where they try to lowball Mom's prices, considering she's already doing them charity; I hate that. On the other hand, Dad's doing something a bit different, and that's widening our knowledge of medicine and healthcare.

Satoh: Ooh - wait. Where is your Dad by the way? Ireus: He's over at Rust Island. You'll see him if you ask the research lab for Dr. Kaine Korvus Maverick. Now, I can't tell y'all about everything, but what I can tell is that he's investigating diseases, conditions, and relevant theories. Mama sometimes works with him regarding poisons… hey, I think I've said enough about my family. Where are the questions about me?!

Satoh: Yes, of course. Thank you for reminding me! Can you tell us about your talents? Ireus: Oh, YES! Aside from healing, quite obviously, I'm very confident in leading a team of mages. It's my job as the healer to keep them alive, and if they're going to be idiots about it, I'll just have to use force - my fists, I mean! Gotta be fit on top of it all; I even have a mini-training spot in my room! I wish to one day learn more about offensive light magic, too.

Satoh: But mages are already powerful, aren't they? Why do you need to be physically strong as well? Ireus: That's the issue. Mages think they're already strong just because they have magic. Thing is, that's not going to work out in situations where they run out of mana or if their powers are suppressed one way or another. This is especially true for us healers. Most other mages think we're frail, whiny pushovers; I want to set a new standard.

Satoh: You're quite knowledgeable about this! Ireus: I have to have the brains; healers are the core of a team! No healers means you're toast!

Satoh: Do you consider yourself Kalei or Damasq? Ireus: Both, actually. But I have Kalei citizenship and my parents would rather I be here. Also, I enjoy Kalei food more. Don't get me wrong; Damasq's grilled seafood is great! But! Nothing beats the ways Kaleidopolis cooks poultry. There's so much you can do with chicken. Its eggs, its meat, its innards, its broth… Chicken is THE perfect livestock, I swear.

Satoh: Would you consider raising them or becoming a poultry chef? Ireus: Err, no. Those kinds of things are admittedly out of my league... I'd rather be just a poultry consumer.

Satoh: Does your POV of your origins extend to your choice of outfits? Ireus: Yup. My favorite color is black. I just can't wear it much thanks to the heat here in Kaleidopolis. Then, Mom adjusted all my tunics so it can look like Damasq fashion… Ah, maybe I should've attended this interview wearing one of my Damasq outfits. It's a shame I can only use them when we're visiting Dad and Mama.

Satoh: We always appreciate a fashionable guy. Wait, 'Mom' and 'Mama'? Ireus: Mama is Dad's first wife. Her name's Katarina Maverick. Sure I didn't come from her womb, but she's still my other mother. She's got quite the taste; she's the one I trust when it comes to Damasq fashion.

Satoh: You are a very interesting individual indeed. Ireus: Hehe, of course. I am a Maverick, after all!

Satoh: Are you ready for some Quick Rapid-Fire Q's! Ireus: Yeah! Let's do it!

Satoh: Hobbies? Ireus: Reading, training, and stacking uneven objects to build a tower.

Satoh: Favorite subject in school? Ireus: Magic theory, of course!

Satoh: Pet peeves? Ireus: Dumb people who think they know better.

Satoh: Ideal partner? Ireus: Someone who can match my passion.

Satoh: Three words to describe yourself? Ireus: "Best future healer".

Satoh: I'm sure we'd love to hear more from you, but I'm afraid time is rather short. Any last message for our viewers? Ireus: If you don't use your head, then what is it for?

Arcanium Masterpost || Current Tag List: Feel free to ask to be tagged!

General Tags:

@philosophika, @amaiguri, @thecomfywriter, @wyked-ao3, @kingragnarok-writes

[justa-smalltown-gargoyle]

Hey batman/batfam people, I wanted to talk about something. I know this might not be received well, but...this is my blog. So if you disagree with me, feel free to block me! Literally that's what's great about this site. (I've been trying to do so on my end, but I thought I'd reach out a bit.....idk maybe try to form some understanding?)

I have been a batman fan since like...age 13 or something. Batman as a character means so fucking much to me, as does all his kids and massive extended family. (can't forget Alfred, Kate, Lucius, and Jeff Gordon!!) And I know that they mean a lot to you guys too.

In comic book and fandom spaces we talk a lot about misrepresentation of characters in fandom, but even in "canon" or rather published/produced content. I have beef with a lot of live action adaptions of Batman for example.

The thing with comic book characters, even more than some fandoms/pieces of media, is that there is SO MUCH content out there, that two people can say they like this one character but those two versions might be in total contradiction. But does that make one right over the other? does that make one superior?

Now, I hate Ben Affleck's Batman. And to fans of his, I'd say, you want the punisher, not Batman, because to me, that goes against who Batman is fundamentally. I read the comics, watch a lot of the animated stuff, and formed my own opinion and version of Batman. However, and this seems to be a controversial take, i really enjoy Wayne Family Adventures.

I see a lot of hate on here for WFA (and on tiktok but they're another beast), which, it's not for everyone, that's okay! Not everyone has to like what I like. But what I don't agree with, is that people who like WFA are seen as "not true batman fans", "they haven't ever read a comic". "they only like the flat fanon versions of the characters", etc.

These comments I would like to rebut- some comic readers such as myself might enjoy WFA. There might be people that have never read a comic or even watched anything batman related but like WFA. Are they not valid to enjoy that and have their own fandom for that? Are they not allowed to be fans of Batman?

I also would ask, how much of WFA did you actually read? In it's nature, it's suppose to be the bat family on their time off, or more light stories, but it actually addresses things like Jason's trauma, Duke moving in to the Manor, Damian struggling to fit in at school, things like that. Now if you read pretty far and still didn't like the portrayal of the characters, that's fine, I'm not asking you to change your opinion, however I am asking you to make space for those who do enjoy it, or that WFA is their first introduction or only experience with the Batman and co.

WFA isn't perfect, but it holds a special place in my heart, and gives me more content for Not Perfect but Trying and Cares Dad Bruce Wayne which I am grateful for. And tbh I feel like it just shows other sides to the characters we don't see that often!

And again, obvi people have their opinions, I guess I'm just asking for us to be more aware and create a space where people can feel free and excited to talk about these characters that we all love. I enjoy content and discussions I see in the tags and different blogs but then I see the hate for WFA fans and it just puts a real damper on otherwise really good content.

Anyways, thanks for reading!

[crimsoncold]

Current thoughts on HOTD

(i.e. the disappointment, the choice not to hate watch the show, and my continued appreciation for the fandom itself)

So I'm admittedly done with the show itself... I can tolerate quite a bit of lackluster writing when I love the concept or certain characters enough- seriously I watched all of the original 9 seasons of the x files (+ the films) even when it had pretty much abandoned the monster of the week format I loved, got extremely convoluted in terms of its plot/conspiracies, and most of the original cast wasn't even around anymore- but sometimes a show declines in quality so much I'm too discouraged to want to continue watching.

S1 already had issues but the inconsistencies in plot/messages/characterization and the strange changes writer's have made to the source material in S2 all sort of converged to make a show that is ultimately not just generally disappointing but now is outright unimpressive and unwatchable (side note i feel so bad for the cast they're working their ass off and the writer's are just giving them literal garbage).

I'm just not a person who really enjoys hate watching stuff? Like no judgement if you want to continue watching or if you do choose to hate watch- do what makes you happy- it's just not something I personally would choose to spend my time on- if a show doesn't even interest me to begin with or nothing about a show makes me happy anymore I'm not going to watch it. (With many of the better shows out there getting unfortunately canceled so quickly I'd rather spend my time watching enjoyable shows while they are still around- I know I'm just one viewer and likely I make zero difference in the scheme of things but I just don't want to be part of a viewership that encourages studios to cancel well written but less popular shows and continue with the poorer quality shows because hate/outrage inspired so much viewership... I think it's just that this business practice pisses me off enough that I don't want to be a part of it or reminded of it)

So for HOTD I'm not personally continuing with the show I'm just going to rely on the braver souls in this fandom to show me how crazy things get - at this point it feels like for my sanity there is nothing left to do but laugh at how bad these showrunners are ruining their story/characters and otherwise just move on and watch other things.

When it comes to fandom side of things well I'll quote myself from a different hotd post for a moment..."disappointing or poorly written shows are not without their appeal for participating in fandom (i.e. making, viewing, or sharing the art, writing, metas, or other content inspired by the show) particularly when there is a handful of interesting characters (looking at you book/S1 HOTD's team green) that fans want to rescue from the terrible writing/butchering by the showrunners ... sometimes it is even one of the most appealing sort of set ups for fandom to take over and fix things."

So I will absolutely continue to appreciate the general efforts of HOTD fandom (writers, artists, gif makers, etc.) and I will continue to seek out/like/reblog/comment on fan works as well as the many well thought out/eloquent metas and write ups fans put out about this show.

To paraphrase once again from one of my other hotd post "The juxtaposition between how underwhelming and juvenile the showrunner's storytelling choices are compared to how eloquently fans interpret, analyze, deconstruct, criticize or even defend the show and it's characters is absolutely wild...a not insignificant amount of hotd fandom puts in more time, effort, and thought into hotd than ANY of the showrunners/writers."

While I was admittedly intrigued by select characters of hotd my desire and decision to participate in hotd fandom really came down to the amazing efforts of fans who analyzed the show, wrote incredible metas on it's characters, and who made their own transformative stories and art based on hotd.

So in conclusion I'm done with watching the show, I hate everything the showrunners are choosing to do (the audience deserved a better story/show), I feel so bad for the cast and wish the characters hadn't been massacred by these writers (Alicent, Aemond, Helaena, Aegon, and the rest of team green all deserved better writing, i.e. consistent and coherent characterization or you know getting time on screen/together in general, all characters deserved better than being reduced to props for this strange pro targ/pro Rhaenyra storyline the showrunners have made up, hell even Rhaenyra herself deserved better writing),

I will continue to think about the "what ifs" that come up around this ... (what this story and these characters could have become in the hands of better writers) and I will always still appreciate/comment on and reblog fandom efforts themselves (whether you continue to participate in hotd fandom or are done with it just know that even though the writer's suck and the show has just gotten worse and worse, and the few character's we liked are getting destroyed by the writing, I still admire everybody I encountered in the little niche of the hotd fandom I have participated and appreciate what you all contribute to hotd fandom.

AND I will continue my own little additions to said fandom-i still have hotd inspired art coming soon and while I'm done with the show itself I intend to steal away the shiny things I liked from hotd (certain intriguing characters and the possibilities that could have existed if this had been adapated better) and continue to enjoy them while I ignore the rest of the nonsense the showrunners have created.

- Crimson Cold

[cinnamontails-ff]

OC Deep Dive: Zoraya Naelgrath

Thank you for the tag @davenswitcher ❤

(art by the lovely @riskpig)

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Pretty common for women in the professional sphere, but she lives in perpetual fear of being over-/underdressed. That's why her wardrobe looks a lot like Superman's with a bunch of duplicate items.

Do they have any pet peeves?

When someone messes with her desk. It's not necessarily super clean, but she likes things to be arranged just so. Astarion, of course, loves to make a game out of moving her stuff around and watching her quietly lose her mind.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

A copy of some obscure legal textbook, a bunch of hair ties and pins from the day before, and a cat bed (ignored by her cat).

What do they notice first in a person?

How you treat others, especially people who might be considered lower in the social hierarchy. The fastest way to win her heart is by being nice to your barista/waiter/flower vendor etc.

On a scale from 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

I'd say about 8. Girl is a trooper when it comes down to it. Grits her teeth and keeps going.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Fight. Whether it's with her daggers or in the courtroom, Zoraya goes for the throat.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

She's an only child and has a rather complicated relationship with her biological parents as well as the Ancunins (who have practically raised her). She'll show up when summoned, but family dinners are definitely a source of stress rather than comfort for her.

What animal represents them best?

An oriental shorthair, like in @vyjuarts's "Magistrate's Catvocate" AU.

What is a smell they dislike?

Perfume. She doesn't mind most natural smells but hates artificial stuff.

Have they broken any bones?

No, but there's been the time she fell off a tree and twisted her ankle and accidentally fell in love with the boy who carried her home.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Something in between "Step on me, mommy" and "How did that stick get so far up her butt?"

Are they a night owl, or morning bird?

She can do either, but if she has the choice, she'd rather get up early and get shit done.

What’s a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

She loves all kinds of seafood and hates a lot of traditional Elven dishes because she associates them with unpleasant family dinners.

Do they have any hobbies?

She likes to help Dammon in the forge whenever she has to blow off steam. He gives her tasks that don't require much technique, so she can pound away at her repressed emotions.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprise?

She forces a smile and makes an effort to look like she's having fun, but really, she's stressed out of her mind and would rather curl up in her room with her cat.

Do they like to wear jewellery?

The locket :)

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Painfully neat handwriting. Total teacher's pet, always out for the gold star.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Stress and guilt. The marks of a perpetual overachiever.

Do they have a favourite fabric?

She loves putting on her office uniform, i.e. a white button-down, black trousers and high heels. It makes her feel professional and in control, ready to take on the day. But she's also very partial to the pajamas she bought for Astarion :3

What kind of accent do they have?

Zoraya has had elocution lessons for many years, so her accent is posh and polished, similar to Astarion's. She understands a lot of local dialects (like the ones from the Gur or other low-income clients she represents pro bono), but could never bring herself to imitate it.

I really enjoyed this one! Tagging @larvasmoon @karinamay @pouroverpaloma if they're up for it!