eclipsellium

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regaining momentum ♡

ps: i received roses!

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The Soul Nebula taken by Kurt Wallberg on Februrary 1 2024

This image depicts The Soul Nebula (IC 1848) on the left and Westhout 5 (IC 1848) on the right. Westhout 5 is part of the bigger Soul Nebula. It’s an emission nebula— consisting of the star forming regions with ionized hydrogen gas and dark nebula. Dark nebulas are when the stellar medium is so dense that the light from objects behind it cannot pass through.

As you can see in the image, there are cavities in the gas. These were carved out by stars due to radiation and stellar winds. There is a theory of triggered star formation, which describes that these cavities compress the gas around it to trigger star formation. Images such as these have been used to help prove this theory, showing that the closer the star is to the cavity, the younger it is.

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46/100 days of productivity!

To-do: 19.1.25

Read _1P

Textbook session _1P

Class recap_2P

Matlab _1P

Take a walk

Meet up with friend

Journal_mental health check

Yoga b4 bed

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I know this is a long read but I believe this might help if you’re going through a burnout.

Last week I was so drained I couldn’t do anything. Let alone studying 11 hours a day as I planned, some days I couldn’t even pick up my pen and solve just one question.

Each day I said to myself “It will be better tomorrow. I will wake up and finish the things I need to do.” but every day proved to be worse than the other. My tutor was out of the city for a conference so I was on my own and needed to finish everything before he arrived. (I am a person who scolds herself if I don’t finish my tasks on time, even if sometimes my teachers don’t care, I do.) But I couldn’t finish most of them. Today is literally my last chance. I had to wake up at 5am and rarely take any breaks if I wanted to complete everything.

But I couldn’t. I woke up at 9, and just getting out of bed took all my energy. I went into the living room and fell asleep on the couch. For three hours, no matter how many times my mum tried to annoy me into waking up, I laid there without even once uttering a word.

And by my 1682597th dream, I had an epiphany.

This is my journey. This is me, working towards my own dream. People around me obviously care and feel for me, that’s why they worry when I fall behind. But if they had to give in the energy I give in each day, they couldn’t do it.

Because I wake up every day to my goals. Every morning I choose to keep going. Every second I am choosing to not give up on my dreams of becoming a successful person. I could easily change my mind any minute, choose another major, and I wouldn’t have to study as hard.

But I am not.

For 454 straight days, I woke up with this dream and there wasn’t a single day I didn’t want it. Not a single day where I said “Oh you know what, fuck it. I don’t want this.”

I had my days where I cried, screamed, even hit myself. I had my days where I was so exhausted that I kept looking at other majors I could get into but I never felt the same connection so I just stood up and kept working.

I am the one who might lose what I want, not others. I am the only one who is putting in the effort to make it happen because nobody else’s effort could make it possible for me.

So if I say “I did not have the energy for this.” they have to believe me.

If I am honestly EXHAUSTED, to a point where I don’t want to see my favorite pencil, it’s okay for me to fall behind a few weeks.

Now I will just get up. Once again. And do what I can. No rush, I have 145 days to go, and it’s better to actually learn the material than to have to come back to it later.

Keep trying. Even if it’s reading one sentence a day. Your dreams are yours for a reason.

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#1. NO MORE GUILT

Ever find yourself crashing out after a long day at school, sitting on your bed watching Netflix, and getting nothing done? It sounds horrible when I put it that way. Bed rotting, doom scrolling, whatever it is, it’s never a fun thing.

Here’s the thing though— it doesn’t have to feel that way.

There are two states that we can consider you to be in. Focus and Relaxation. The situation I described above is caught in between these two states. You want to be in a focus state, but you’re overwhelmed and stuck in your relaxation state. The opposite is also true. You try to get work done but catch yourself distracted, on your phone, instead. You are in a focus state, but you want to be in a relaxation state.

The number one change you can do to help your mental health is to choose a side.

When you are in your focus state, commit. You put your best effort in and keep your mind engaged in what you are working on. No distractions. This is going to help you get so much more work done in a shorter period of time. As you practice this, you are going to realize that when you are in your focus state, distractions are less enticing and you will be able to maintain it for longer.

Disclaimer: if you have to tell yourself to “lock in” you aren’t doing it right. Forcing yourself into a focus state is never going to work, it's just going to lead to that same, tiring, useless feeling.

To actually decompress and feel happier, you can’t have second thoughts in your relaxation. Set a timer if you have to, but you need to let yourself enjoy whatever you are doing. Imagine this: after a long hard day, you treat yourself by getting some popcorn, bundle yourself up in blankets, dim the lights, and get to watch the movie that’s been on your bucket list for the past week. So much better than what we started with, right? The cycle of guilt relaxation starts with wanting to decompress but feeling guilty the whole time. You don’t rest and aren’t happy because all you’ve been thinking about is “I have to get work done.” Instead, you get more tired, and you need to continue laying around or scrolling on your phone.

You don’t have to change your entire routine— just be more mindful about which state you are in and how you can take advantage of that.

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International Space Station transit of the Moon taken by Quinn Groessl on January 31 2023.

The ISS orbits the Earth at a typical velocity of 28000 km/h (very fast) and at a typical altitude of 400 km. Gravitational forces keep the ISS in constant freefall, but with the forward velocity of the ISS, the overall distance to Earth and velocity stays pretty much the same.

These transits are pretty infrequent. The angle of the moon from the orbital plane can vary over time, and any small changes in the ISS orbit can have major effects on its path. In the sky, they are both fairly small objects, leading to smaller probabilities as well.

An important factor that allows these events to occur is that the ISS is traveling much faster relative to our perspective on Earth compared to the moon. The ISS orbits the Earth around 16 times a day, while the moon takes around a month (27.3 days).

You can see the video of it at this link. It's incredible how precise astronomers have to be with how short of a timespan there is to record this.

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55/100 days of productivity!

so, my chronic pain is back after a short break... which means I literally can't do the things I need to do... anyway let's get a good day in...

I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment. My worth is not determined by my productivity or my pain. I am enough, just as I am. Every small step I take today is a victory. Progress is progress, no matter how small. I am doing my best, and that is always enough.

to-do: 1.2.25

Morning yoga

mental health check _journal

Go to the mall

Writing session 1

Reading 2P _opt

Pain makes it hard to work effectively Falling behind creates anxiety Anxiety increases muscle tension Increased tension worsens pain Worse pain makes work even harder More falling behind... and the cycle continues And each loop of this cycle can make you feel more stuck and hopeless, which adds another layer of stress. It's not just in your head - this is a very real physiological and psychological pattern.

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NGC 2403 taken by John C. Yu on January 30 2024

NGC 2403 is a intermediate spiral galaxy. There are typically two types of spiral galaxies: barred and regular spirals. This galaxy falls between the two, denoted as SAB.

The bar in spiral galaxies forms due to gravitational instability. However, this bar can help with star formation as it funnels material to the center of the galaxy.

Interactions with neighboring galaxies or having greater instability can lead to a greater bar shape in the galaxy. However, dark matter halos also play a big role in having the opposite effect, often preventing the bar from forming. These combined factors lead to the median shape of this galaxy.

Intermediate spiral galaxies can eventually evolve into either regular spiral galaxies or barred spiral galaxies, but we won't be there to see the final form of NGC 2403.

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45/100 days of productivity!

Morning loves <3 It’s the weekend … I’m taking a slow day…

🎧kai

to-do:

Morning yoga

Morning reading session

Laundry and meds

Run few errands

Class recap 2P

mental health check _journal

Call home

Read before bed

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AAAAAAHHHH I HAVE A MATH TEST TMRW

Normally, I’m not so stressed, but I missed class this week (I was skipping shame on me 😭) and I have no clue what’s going on… Me and the math teacher are besties because he’s the coach of the golf team, so I’m scared of disappointing him with my bad test scores.

I also had a long lab in chem this week. It’s really sad because we got bad results even though we ran our trial for over and hour lol. I think it’s my lab partner’s fault because he keeps on putting his crusty fingers all over the cuvettes which is messing up the spectrophotometer. Hopefully he actually writes his part so it’s not another repeat of last year.

- Practice midterms for matrices

- Grade practice midterms

- Write lab report

- Debug binary system simulation

- Work on astro research paper

- Work on program applications

- Finish new deal research

- Finish college assessment

- Email people back 😬

Don’t ask me why we have a midterm in January… I have no clue.

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If I have such high dreams, why would I settle for anything less?

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Rosette Nebula taken by Suzanne Beers on January 29 2024

The Rosette Nebula is part of the Milky Way Galaxy and is located 5,000 light years away from Earth. The Rosette Nebula is an emission nebula (not to be confused with planetary nebula).

These kinds of nebula are formed around massive, hot stars, whose ultraviolet radiation ionizes the surrounding gas. The excited atoms in the nebula also emit radiation, causing the nebula's glow.

The Rosette Nebula is also home to star forming regions, as observed by the Chandra X-ray Observatory. These are especially concentrated in the bottom of the nebula, although it is difficult to see in this image. Note that this photo uses the Hubble color palette.

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💕 28.01.2025 // I went to my english lecture then went home and tried to study a bit. My phone ran out of battery on my way home so I hadn't any podcast to listen to, didn't like it at all.

📖 Call me by your name - André Aciman (finished - my heart is fucking shattered, how will I ever recover from this istg)

🎧 TALLULAH - FAUVE

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Saturday, 25th January 2025

I’ve had a pretty productive day – finishing it by reviewing this week’s plasma lectures :)

🎵Watershed Album – Opeth (finally moved on from my binge of the song Bleak like 10 times in a row, lol)

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47/100 days of productivity!

I need to have a difficult conversation today... scared but let's see...change is always scary

to-do: 20.1.25

Morning yoga session

book _the western intellectual tradition

Textbook session_2P

Matlab _1P

Class_2P

call home

Journal_ mental health check

Digital Declutter challenge

Today was not a good day for me unfortunately!

I think I’m emotionally exhausted! I’ll be taking a break soon u guys ! My eyes won’t literally stop twitching from stress..

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☕ 27.01.2025 // I completed my to do list and had a latte with a friend (Yes, we both took a latte ahah) 🩷

📖 X

🎧 The adults are talking - The Strokes

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m42 (great nebula in orion) | 28 sec | 1/12/25