#I don't care if it makes some people uncomfortable

[scoupsakakitty]

Could you do svt finding out reader has been skipping meals while they were away on tour? Like they come back from tour and notices how the s/o is looking?? Lmk if you’re uncomfortable with that

SVT reacting to s/o losing weight/skipping meals

tw: weight loss, skipping meals

S.Coups:

His heart drops the moment he sees you. You look smaller, weaker—your usual glow dimmed. He pulls you into a tight hug, resting his chin on your head. "Did you wait until I was gone to do this to yourself?" His voice is strained, a mix of frustration and worry. He pulls back to look into your eyes. "You think I wouldn’t notice? You’re already perfect. Stop trying to fit into something that will never love you back the way I do."

Jeonghan:

He eyes you up and down, his usual playful smirk nowhere to be seen. Instead, there’s a cold seriousness in his gaze. "Y/N, be honest with me." He crosses his arms. "Did you stop eating just so you could fit some beauty standard?" His voice is sharp, but his hands are gentle when he reaches for yours. "I know how bad this industry can get, but I won’t let you do this to yourself. Not while I’m here."

Joshua:

Joshua sighs, shaking his head as he cups your face. His thumbs brush against your cheekbones, now more defined than before. "This isn't healthy, Y/N." His voice is calm but filled with concern. "You don't have to do this to be beautiful. You already are. The people who make you feel like you aren't? They’re wrong." He pulls you into his arms. "Next time, talk to me, okay? You don’t have to do this alone."

Jun:

Jun doesn’t speak right away. Instead, he sets down his bag and slowly approaches you, his gaze scanning over you carefully. "Did someone tell you to do this?" His voice is quiet, but there’s an edge to it. When you don’t answer, he exhales sharply. "I get it. I really do. But hurting yourself like this… it won’t make you happy." He squeezes your hand. "Please, Y/N. Let’s eat together, okay?"

Hoshi:

Hoshi pouts dramatically at first, pinching your cheek. "Where did all your energy go, huh? You look so tired…" But then, his expression shifts, eyes darkening with worry. "You were waiting for me to leave, weren’t you?" He sighs, shaking his head. "I know what it’s like to be told you have to lose weight to be accepted. But you’re not an idol, Y/N. You don’t have to go through this." He takes your hands in his. "Even if you were… I’d still tell you the same thing: you don’t have to change for anyone."

Wonwoo:

Wonwoo is quiet. Too quiet. He studies you carefully, his sharp gaze missing nothing. When he finally speaks, his voice is soft but firm. "Y/N… why?" He exhales deeply, shaking his head. "I get it. I know why you’d feel this way. But I also know it won’t bring you the happiness you’re searching for." He pulls you into his embrace. "Let me take care of you. You don’t have to do this alone."

Woozi:

Woozi’s jaw clenches the moment he sees you. His hands curl into fists at his sides before he forces himself to relax. "You think I don’t know what it’s like?" His voice is bitter. "To be told you’re not enough unless you fit a mold that someone else decided for you?" He steps closer, his gaze locking onto yours. "I won’t let you go through this alone, Y/N. I know how hard it is to fight it, but you don’t have to fight alone."

DK:

DK’s smile falters the second he takes a good look at you. His usual warmth turns into concern. "Y/N… have you been eating properly?" He already knows the answer, but he wants to hear you say it. When you look away, he gently lifts your chin. "Please don’t do this to yourself. I love you just the way you are." His voice cracks slightly. "I don’t want to see you hurting yourself over something so meaningless."

Mingyu:

Mingyu’s excitement from coming home quickly fades when he sees you. His hands instinctively reach out, brushing against your arms. "You… lost weight." His tone is careful, but his eyes are full of worry. "Did you stop eating while I was gone?" When you don’t answer, he exhales sharply. "Y/N, I love you, but I won’t pretend this is okay. You’re beautiful just the way you are. Please don’t hurt yourself like this."

The8:

His expression is unreadable, but his voice is laced with quiet disappointment. "You’re trying to fit into their beauty standards, aren’t you?" He sighs, shaking his head. "I won’t tell you that it’s easy to ignore them. But I will tell you that it’s not worth it." He gently cups your face. "You’re more than just the way you look, Y/N. Please don’t forget that."

Seungkwan:

Seungkwan is visibly upset, his usual bright energy completely gone. "Did you really wait until I was gone to do this?" His voice is uncharacteristically quiet. He swallows hard, trying to keep his emotions in check. "You think being skinnier will make you happier? That it’ll make you prettier?" He grips your hands. "You’re already the most beautiful person I know. Please don’t do this to yourself."

Vernon:

Vernon furrows his brows, staring at you for a long moment before finally speaking. "You think being thinner will make you fit in more?" He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "I get it. I really do. But I also know that it’s not worth losing yourself over." He steps closer, resting a hand on your shoulder. "You’re enough, Y/N. You always have been."

Dino:

Dino immediately frowns when he sees you, his expression unreadable. "You didn’t have to do this." His voice is filled with frustration, but not at you—at the world that made you feel like you had to change. "I know how hard it is to ignore the pressure. But I wish you had talked to me before doing this to yourself." He squeezes your hand. "I don’t care what anyone else says. You’re already perfect to me."

[foundfamilywhump]

day 100000 of me seeing a post about 'care/whumpers' and thinking 'that is literally just a whumper who is nice sometimes. you are literally just describing a whumper'

[aventurineswife]

Hi! This request is based on something personal that I do, so I was wondering if you could do it (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

It's about how readers are cold people (regarding temperature) they're always cold no matter where they are, then one day they hug the character (Aventurine, Sampo, Caelus and finally Childe), instead of it being a nice hug as it should be, the reader puts his hands under the character's shirt and it's worth mentioning that the reader has a low temperature therefore his hands are terribly cold. The reader did that just to annoy the character, also because he likes the character's warmth. It's something I do with my friends to annoy them ♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

-💤🩵 anon

“The cold never bothered me anyway”

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Sampo x Reader, Childe x Reader, Caelus x Reader, Flirting, Playful Teasing, Cold/Heat Contrast, Romantic Tension, Physical Touch (Hugging, Hands slipping under clothes), Vulnerability, Mutual attraction.

Warnings: Mild suggestiveness, Light discomfort (due to cold touch), Emotional vulnerability, Potential tension.

A/N: I'm not saying you're obsessed with Childe... But you're obsessed with him. I should probably run to hide my warmth 🏃‍♀️, don't know I'm still warm while wearing a tshirt and shorts in literal winter...🧍‍♀️

Aventurine leaned against the balcony railing, his ever-present smile in place, his golden rings catching the light from the stars above. Life was a game, and he always played to win—until now. You, however, were a challenge he hadn't quite figured out. Every time you entered the room, he could feel the chill in the air, the coldness seeping from your very presence, making him both curious and wary.

"Careful now, my dear," Aventurine said, his tone teasing, his eyes glinting beneath the soft light. "You're starting to freeze the very air around you."

You grinned, taking it in stride. "Maybe it's just you who's too warm."

With a sly smirk, you approached him. Before he could react, you wrapped your arms around him in a quick, almost too casual embrace. Aventurine’s laughter bubbled up at first, amused by your spontaneous affection. But then, the chill from your hands, as they slipped under his shirt and brushed against his warm skin, sent a shiver down his spine.

"You," Aventurine hissed, pulling back just enough to look at you with narrowed eyes, a mixture of annoyance and something deeper flickering behind his gaze. "Do you ever stop? I’m quite certain your hands could freeze the very life from me if you tried."

You only laughed, keeping your hands there, enjoying the sudden jolt of warmth his body gave you as he shifted uncomfortably. His usual suave charm seemed to falter for a brief moment, a rare glimpse of vulnerability.

"You’ve got all this warmth, Aventurine," you murmured playfully. "I think it’s only fair I take some."

Aventurine’s smile returned, but there was an edge to it. "You’re playing a dangerous game. Don’t think I haven’t noticed, dear. But, I must admit," he said, moving slightly closer, "it's rather... fun."

His words were calculated, but the warmth in his eyes was unmistakable.

Sampo paced around the bustling market square, always scanning for opportunities, always searching for his next big score. Yet, whenever you were around, he found himself distracted, his usual confidence slipping into something more unsure. There was something about your icy presence that gnawed at him.

"Hey, hey, don't give me that cold shoulder!" Sampo called out with a grin, catching you just as you passed by.

You simply smirked, the chill in your step unmistakable as you approached him with a twinkle in your eye. "What’s the matter, Sampo? You don’t seem as warm as usual."

Sampo raised an eyebrow. "What’s that supposed to mean?" he asked, but before he could retreat, you suddenly wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He grunted in surprise, but it was the sudden coldness from your hands slipping under his jacket that made his eyes widen.

"Sampo," you whispered mischievously, your fingers grazing his skin. "You're always so warm. Thought I'd help you cool off."

Sampo froze for a moment, his usual smooth talk faltering as your icy touch made him shiver. "O-Okay, that’s it!" he sputtered, trying to squirm free, but your hold was unyielding. "You better be paying me for this kind of service!"

You just leaned in closer, savoring the way his body stiffened in discomfort. "You’re always talking about warmth, but now you get to feel it from me."

"You’re lucky I’m not charging you double for this, you little...!" Sampo snapped, though the playful irritation in his voice was more endearing than anything. He couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips. "Aha, I guess I’ll have to get you back, huh?"

The Astral Express was always a whirlwind of motion, a place where time and space seemed to bend. But even among the stars, there was something about you that made Caelus uneasy. His curious eyes often lingered on you, and while he could never pinpoint it, there was an undeniable tension in the air between you two.

"Everything okay?" Caelus asked, walking up to you with a soft smile, his eyes always so calm.

You shrugged, your cold aura wrapping around him even as you stood by his side. "Everything’s fine," you said. "Just a bit cold, that’s all."

His eyes softened at the admission. He had always been sensitive to the feelings of others, and he could tell that you weren’t just referring to the temperature.

Without warning, you wrapped your arms around him, and Caelus tensed. It was warm, almost like a protective instinct, until he felt the sudden chill of your hands pressing against his skin, slipping beneath his jacket.

"Wait—!" Caelus began to protest, but the icy sensation sent a sharp shiver through him, his breath catching for a second.

You grinned into his ear. "Just wanted to see if you were as warm as you seem."

Caelus’s face flushed, his composure slipping as the coldness spread through his chest. "That's... that's not what I meant..." His voice trailed off, and his arms instinctively pulled away from you, trying to escape the discomfort of your touch, but there was a subtle warmth in his reaction too, an appreciation for the closeness.

You couldn’t help but laugh. "Relax, Caelus. Just a little cold comfort. Besides, you’re so warm I could get used to it."

He blinked at you, unable to hide his smile, despite the discomfort. "You... really are something else," he muttered, though a soft glow of affection began to flicker in his eyes.

[Header credits]

Childe was known for his toughness, his unshakable resolve in the face of any challenge. But when you entered his presence, it was as if a strange vulnerability crept into his heart. The way you held yourself, so cold yet so determined—it made him curious, though he’d never admit it.

"What’s the deal with you, huh?" Childe grinned, leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest. "You always give off this frosty vibe."

You smirked back, walking closer to him with a casual air. "Maybe I just like your warmth, Childe."

Before he could respond, you wrapped your arms around him, the sudden hug catching him off guard. He was ready to laugh it off, but then, the icy shock of your hands sliding beneath his shirt made him stiffen, his breath hitching in surprise.

"Hey!" Childe exclaimed, quickly pulling back. "What the hell was that?"

You grinned widely, savoring the way he recoiled. "Just wanted to see if you could handle a little cold," you teased, your hands lingering for just a moment longer.

He shivered, but not from the cold. There was a heat to the way his body responded to you, despite the discomfort. "You think you can just sneak up on me like that?" he grumbled, though his tone lacked the usual sharpness.

"You should be more careful next time," you teased, stepping back with a satisfied smile.

Childe couldn’t help but laugh. "You're lucky I like a good challenge," he muttered, his grin wide and genuine, the warmth in his gaze unmistakable.

[irregularcollapse]

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about how you feel about the mota fandom and what happened to you :/ I meant to send a message earlier but life got in the way. I hope you're feeling better now, and I can only tell you that your fics and writing are some of my favorite in the fandom. Just by reading your stories, I can tell the care that was put into choosing each word to best convey the story and the characters' feelings, and it is really somethinf I admire :) I hope I can be as good a writer as you someday ❤️ And for the mota fandom, I totally get what you and that anon said! If you'll allow me a bit of a rant, to me, the mota fandom is full of well-intentioned people but I found that one of its problems is that, as much as there is enthusiasm, it is going in circles. Many have said it and I've noticed it too, but some have a tendency to jump on other people's ideas without giving credit or even asking if it's okay to expand, and on more than one occasion I found one of my ideas in someone else's inbox just a week after I'd posted it which threw me off posting any kinds of hc or random ideas, I only post full fics now because I'm scared that people will see an idea/au that they like on my blog and decide to expand on it without my consent or even crediting me for the original idea :/ To me that sucks because what I love about creating is the interactions with people, but because of the seldom posting except for full fics I don't get much 😂 And I know I could post snippet or hc, but the overenthusiasm bordering on no fandom manners that I've noticed stops me from doing that. Also, as a writer, it is quite discouraging to see people constantly reccing the same 5/6 fics/authors. Don't get me wrong, those are GREAT fics and authors, but babes, there are over 1,000 works in the clegan tag on ao3, why are we constantly reccing the same fics as in summer 2024. It feels like people only read the fics with the highest hits count, and from an outsider's pov, you'd think there are only 10 writers in the mota fandom 😭 I don't if it's bc the mota fandom is new so there are a lots of people from tiktok/that weren't on tumblr/in fandom before but it truly feels like fandom manners are getting lost, despite the plethora of incredible creators in the mota fandom. So there's this opposition between the enthusiasm over new ideas that seems to die down as soon as a story is posted, except if if it's one of the big fics from the summer. Imo the actual recognition of fics doesn't follow the enthusiasm of ideas and hcs, which is a bit of a shame I think, and to be quite honest, it made me lose my motivation to write for mota bc it just feels like I'll post a fic, it'll get traction for maybe a day or two, and then it'll be forgotten somewhere when people sort ao3 by number of hits or kudos

Anyway that was quite long I'm sorry, you don't have to answer this at all, I just needed to get this off my chest, but I really hope you know that even if it may not feel that way, you are an amazing writer, who clearly loves your stories, the characters and the words you use, and that is translated to the ao3 page <3 You truly are one of the most talented fic writers this fandom has, and I'd support you and your stories in whatever fandom you may be in ❤️

I assure you, anon, that you're not the only person to feel this way! I've had quite a few private conversations with friends and mutuals about really similar experiences and observations, and how disheartened and uncomfortable it's making us feel.

I guess people don't say anything because they don't want to be seen as sowing discord or being mean. I know that there are going to be people who might see this and interpret it as me "fuelling fandom discourse" or "fandom wanking" or "being a cunt" but actually I'm just talking about how we treat creators in online spaces, and the way that people en masse have apparently forgotten that creators in fandoms are people.

I had another anon tell me that someone laid claim to one of their ideas in the tags of their headcanon post, and I don't think you're the only person whose idea has been stolen and passed to another writer. I'm really sorry that's happened to you, and you're so right to not feel like posting anything because of it! This is truly the kind of stuff that makes people not want to participate or put themselves out there. Sometimes it's even writers doing the stealing, blatantly and without credit. It makes me think that a lot of people haven't shared creative spaces before and don't know how to be polite.

I also 100% agree about the fic rec thing. It's really disheartening to see the same fics passed around over and over again, not only from a writer perspective but a reader perspective. Something that seems to have emerged in fandom spaces over the years is deifying certain authors of popular fics - fic authors being treated like celebrities, the concept of a "must-read fic", even people only reading fics and authors that are already seen as popular/successful. I get that some people don't want to spend time scraping ao3 for niche fics, that's super understandable, but that's also why it would be nice to see a bit more adventure and variety in fic rec lists!

There is a low-key competitive feeling which a few people have mentioned to me - the feeling that there are people who want to "win" fandom or be the most popular/most reccd/most recognised writer, or whatever it may be. I just feel like anything that makes people feel like they're better than others is... come si dice... not good. I think it's a shitty way to treat people you're sharing a creative space with, to view them as competition and commodity.

Writing for consumption or writing for audience approval isn't something I've ever done, but I feel like it's cropping up more and more in fandom spaces too - not just MOTA, either. That's sort of a different discussion, but I do feel it's related to the copying/stealing in a way as well.

Now I also have to apologise for this getting too long! I'm glad you got it off your chest, and please feel free to come off anon at any time, because you've got an ally in me (and others too, I assure you). I think that everything you've said here merits consideration from everyone, at the very very least! It's in the interest of pursuing a more inclusive, supportive fandom space.

Thanks heaps as well for saying nice stuff about my writing! I only ever want to tell stories, and to give people something to enjoy that has clearly been created with care and consideration. I write to express things I want to express, and so it means a lot to me when other people see what I'm trying to say and pick up what I'm putting down. Truly madly deeply, my most boundless thanks!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[adddddiiii]

Crimson Eclipse

3. No Safe Haven

It had been several hours since you crashed at Sofie’s place, and the tension hadn’t eased for a second. Every flicker of a shadow or unexpected sound made your pulse jump. You were still hunched over your laptop, fingers gliding across the keys as you scanned encrypted data from the drive.

"Are you ever going to sleep?" Sofie asked from the couch. She was watching you with growing concern.

"Can’t afford to," you muttered. "Not when Serpentis is probably watching every corner of this city for me. Also I need to meet him at midnight."

You both knew very well who he was.

Sofie sighed. "So are you finally going to tell me how you got into this mess in the first place?"

You leaned back and rubbed your tired eyes.

"I was hired," you admitted quietly. "Some anonymous buyer reached out. Big money to lift encrypted files from a secure server. I didn’t ask too many questions. I just… needed the cash."

"But?" Sofie prompted.

"But when I grabbed the files and went to the meet-up spot a few hours ago, no one showed. Except Red Hood," you explained. "That’s when I knew I was in trouble. And then, well, we both saw what was on the drive."

Sofie's brows furrowed. "Right... what exactly is on it, other than the shady military stuff?

You hesitated. "Lots of stuff. Shipment routes, blackmail material, bribery logs. But the worst part? Names."

Her eyes widened. "Names?"

You nodded grimly. "Of Serpentis operatives. Safehouses. Transactions. Some more clues and evidence, and it would be enough to tear them down. No wonder they want me dead."

Sofie whistled softly. "So what does Red Hood have to do with all this?"

You shook your head. "Maybe the usual vigilante stuff, I don’t know. But I’m going to find out."

——————————————————————

You found yourself at Dock 17 later that night, the salty sea breeze biting at your skin. The docks were nearly deserted, save for the occasional distant hum of a ship’s engine. You clutched the flash drive tightly in your pocket, scanning the shadows for any sign of him.

"You’re late."

The voice came from behind you. You spun around, heart racing, and there he was — Red Hood, perched on a stack of shipping crates, arms crossed over his chest.

"You said midnight. It’s a minute past twelve," you shot back.

He chuckled softly under the modulated mask. "Still late."

You crossed your arms, trying to mask your nervousness. "Why did you want to meet?"

Red Hood jumped down gracefully, landing just a few feet from you. "Because you’re in deeper than you think."

"Yeah, I got that when you said I couldn't go to my own home," you retorted.

He tilted his head. "There’s a bounty on you."

Your stomach dropped. "What?"

"Serpentis put a price on your head. Alive or dead, doesn’t matter. And trust me, there’s a long line of people ready to collect."

You swallowed hard, your mind racing. "Why are you telling me this?"

He sighed, and lowered his voice slightly. "Because I know what Serpentis is capable of. I’ve been after them for months, trying to dismantle their operations. They’re dangerous, and now they’re coming for you."

"So what? You’re offering me protection out of the goodness of your heart?" you scoffed. You were way past caring about what he would to you if he heard the challenge in your voice. He did say he wouldn't hurt you. Didn't he?

"No," he replied bluntly. "I’m offering you a deal. You help me bring them down, and I’ll make sure you survive long enough to see it happen."

"And if I say no?"

"You won't last the week."

You hated that he was right.

Hesitantly, you admitted, "Even if I wanted to lie low, I don’t have anywhere safe to go anymore. You said I can't go to my home, so I went to a friend's place. I don't want to put her in any more danger."

There was a pause. Red Hood’s stance shifted, the silence stretching uncomfortably long.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath.

You blinked in surprise as he ran a gloved hand over the dented surface of his helmet.

"Fine," he said, almost reluctantly. "You stay at my place. Temporary. Don’t get comfortable."

"What?!" Your eyes widened. "Why would I stay with you. I would rather die!"

"Be my guest," he grunted out.

You chewed your lip for a moment, contemplating. You didn't actually want to die. And staying with him wouldn't be so bad, right?

You sighed. "You’re serious?"

"No," he deadpanned. "I just like saying things for dramatic effect. Yes, I’m serious."

You huffed out a small laugh, despite yourself. "Wow. Charming."

"I’m not doing this for brownie points," he replied flatly. "Let’s go before I change my mind."

As you followed him into the night, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had just made a deal with the devil — or the only person who could save you from one.

< prev |

Taglist: @uncalicous @a-lil-bit-nuts @celloccino @treeteaofversailles @promnightbinbaby @theroyalmanatee @rowannin @bungunz

[world-of-wales]

People whining about William and Kate not attending bafta and saying that patronage should be given to someone else are hypocrites who are only interested in Kate's outfits. Many of the royals were already patrons, including Anna, and they did not attend the ceremony every year.

I'm so gonna get attacked for this...

EXACTLY THIS! See I get genuine criticism, trust me I do. Heck I have been accused of hating W&C on this exact blog for giving my thoughts at times on work etc. But there's a difference between genuine constructive criticism and just going on an on about stuff. I especially don't understand using the they don't work enough excuse or william isn't doing much for bafta excuse when a) he literally had an engagement for bafta just 2 days ago and b) it's baftas, attending an award show isn't gonna achieve anything work wise except for getting a good pr appearance (which I get) but still.

Also I feel like a lot of ppl were sure that Catherine would be there since back in early January the rota elements were like 'reportedly the princess of wales will be at baftas ✨️' and everyone ran with it. They were excited to see catherine and that's fine I get it, I love to see her out too but the thing is everyone in all that excitement forgot that she's just announced her remission and is slowly getting back to things. She had cancer, and somebody who's had such a horrific experience and is still in the process of getting back to full health isn't going to be at an award show dressed in a heavy dress and jewels making herself uncomfortable.

Now that, kp has announced that they aren't going, a lot of the same people are being critical by hiding behind the they don't work enough excuse. See they don't attend baftas regularly, William skips the awards every 2-3 years so it isn't exactly unprecedented that he isn't going after being at the awards for the past 2 years. It's his pattern when it comes to bafta awards. He still does his regular bafta engagements even when he doesn't go, like he did this Wednesday. I get wanting them to work more, or asking for more engagements via constructive criticism but not going to an award show isn't gonna be the end of the monarchy.

Baftas are generally a low priority engagement, it doesn't seem like that to us ofc coz we like the glamour aspect of it all but it's what it is. Also it's not like he completely not acknowledging the awards, he will be doing a virtual appearance as they have already said.

I simply cannot understand the whole issue tbh this time atleast, it's exactly times like this when I'm like this fandom is more trouble than it's worth... like I come on here to relax my brain and let off stress but such discourse and discourse without any good reason at that just pisses me off.

Having said that I do think some of the criticism atleast from a few people is genuine and raises good points but in general the whole discussion is not it.

Now people can go and call me a stan or someone who's just behaving like the squad coz I did get those comments on twitter when I said this there but I literally couldnt care less.

[yurisblooming]

♡₊✧. The Boy Next Door ♡₊˚✧. —008. Waiting for me?

♡₊✧. Sypnosis: Transferring universities meant a fresh start. You’d finally reunite with your friends, have your own space, and meet new people. That included your neighbors: Riwoo, who you barely saw, Taesan, who you found yourself crushing on cute, calm, and collected, and lastly, Woonhak… outgoing, lively, friendly, and most of all, really loud. He was nice, yeah but you couldn’t ignore his late-night gaming screams, cursing his teammates and ruining your sleep. Yet, every time you knocked on his door, his stupid, apologetic smile made you forget why, maybe even feel… butterflies?

not like it mattered, he was just your neighbor. and you only cared about his roommate… right?

a/n: sad moment... a bit of angst? I don't know... word count 505! I promise to post an update before wednesday to make up for this written chapter TT^TT

It was 9:30 p.m. You sat in the middle of a luxurious Italian restaurant, one Sunghoon had insisted on taking you to. He’d noticed you acting a little off since he picked you up, but he didn’t say anything, just focused on ordering food for both of you—along with the wine you insisted on having. The night dragged on with small talk about class, his modeling career, and campus life.

A silence settled between you as you looked around, mentally preparing yourself.

"So... are you gonna tell me what we need to talk about, or do you need more wine?" he asked, his voice serious. Your brain froze for a few seconds before you took a deep breath, avoiding his gaze.

"Do you like me?" The words tumbled out too fast, and your cheeks burned. Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, caught off guard.

"Why?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.

You hesitated, worried about his answer. "Just... the way you acted around Woonhak, how you always make clothing pieces just for me, how you're always there, taking care of me, never getting mad. You're not like this with the other girls, so why me?"

He sighed, taking a sip of his cola. "I don’t know," he admitted. "I did like you at first, when we met. I didn’t want to just be your friend, so I treated you differently from Wonyoung and Winter, hoping you’d notice. But as we got closer and I realized you only saw me as a friend, I buried those feelings. I don’t like you like that anymore, but there were romantic feelings at some point. If I suddenly started treating you the same as the others, I knew you’d overthink it and come crying, asking if I hated you." He let out a small chuckle. "So yeah, it just became natural."

You listened, feeling a tightness in your chest. "I'm sorry, Sunghoon."

He laughed softly. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Y/N. I never told you—I just expected you to notice, but I should’ve known you weren’t the smartest." His teasing tone lightened the moment. "And it’s fine. I really don’t like you like that anymore. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with Woonhak. I don’t know what came over me."

"It’s okay, don’t worry about it," you whispered, reaching across the table to gently caress his hand, offering him a small smile.

Dinner continued at its slow but steady pace. After Sunghoon paid, you offered to buy him coffee the next day, which he agreed to. He drove you home, and as you stepped out, you said, "I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah yeah" he replied as you shut the door.

You entered the building, taking the elevator up. As you stepped out and walked down the hallway, you spotted Woonhak standing outside his dorm, gazing at the city lights. He looked nervous, even stressed. You let out a small laugh, deciding to tease him.

"Waiting for me?" you asked playfully.

He looked at you slightly surprised before nodding. "Yeah."

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[sal-absinthii]

I like the idea of Eileen as a person doing her best but beat down by years of a hard life, but I also like the idea of her being basically just as unpleasant as Tobias

It's clear that this was not a happy marriage or household, but it may not have been one-sided. I think people have a great reluctance to consider those kinds of relationships which may be termed deeply dysfunctional and toxic but for which "abuse" -- by definition involving not just harm but specifically harm in the context of a power dynamic where the abuser has fairly consistent and significant power over the abused -- may not be the right word, because it is very uncomfortable for people to feel they may be committing the great social sin of victim-blaming if they acknowledge that people and relationships are complicated and it is not always a matter of one person being innocent and powerless and the other being entirely and clearly to blame at all times. Sometimes both people are just nasty pieces of work. Sometimes, neither starts out that way but both become so after a lifetime of the same hard experiences. A lot of times there are shades of grey where one person may indeed be abusive from the start but where the victim is not the helpless submissive weakling people expect an abuse victim to be, which a lot of people really seem to struggle with, because they want the victim to be their poor meow-meow and that just isn't reality for many relationships. This is evident enough with the way some people talk about James and Snape's interactions; James was certainly a bully with many social advantages compared to Snape, and we know that at least some of the times James absolutely was the one who started it (although, I don't think peer bullying counts as abuse in most cases, including this, because James does not actually have the ability to control Snape; something can be cruel and even frequent without it being abuse by definition). People have a very difficult time with the fact that Snape does fight back (and he may start it some times, it is implied that he does but we can't necessarily trust that as fact) and want to either say this makes him the bad guy (and James the innocent) or else to downplay his own power to cause harm because it is uncomfortable to acknowledge that both may have contributed, escalated, initiated, and harmed.

Eileen will always be compared to Merope Gaunt, because they are both witches unsuccessfully married to muggles. On the face of it, the witch has much more power and ability to harm than the muggle. Merope, while certainly an abuse victim in relation to her father and brother, is actually the abuser in her situation with Tom Riddle Sr, having literally tricked and trapped him. I do think people forget that the elder Tom is definitively the victim in that relationship, because they expect that the rich handsome man who leaves his poor, sad, pregnant wife (who we have previously only seen as helpless and on the receiving end of violence) must be the bad guy, but this is entirely nonconsensual; she drugs and/or bewitches him into leaving his family and fiancée and fathering her child. She literally rapes him. This may have been the case with Eileen or it may not have been, there is nothing to suggest or prove it either way, and I'm not arguing that Eileen did trick Tobias. Like post-Tom Merope, who either lost or was unwilling to use her magic after he left, Eileen may have chosen to give up her magic in order to live in the muggle world, or she may have been too beaten down by her life to care about trying, or she may have been so afraid of Tobias that she didn't want to risk the consequences of using it. Maybe, like Merope, her own family situation was abusive and awful and Tobias was her escape, which would further explain her apparent willingness to stay with him rather than return to her family. Maybe this is what she saw modelled in her family growing up and just thinks it's what marriage is. It's also possible that she did not stop using magic at all, which would make her significantly more powerful than Tobias, or at the very least on an equal footing. I do not think she abused him; that would be an interesting angle to look at, but she does seem afraid of Tobias in Snape's memory of him shouting at her. But it is possible that they were both just miserable and rotten people to each other.

A common scenario I see regarding these two presents Tobias as hating magic and forbidding Eileen from using it. That's not impossible, people can be made to be afraid of a lot of things, but I reject it as being a given, because if she did have the willingness to stop him, she certainly had the ability, and the fact that Snape knows as much as he does about magic and the wizarding world before he gets to Hogwarts means that she wasn't intentionally hiding it or distancing herself from it. She talked to her son about it in a positive enough way that he was excited about being a wizard. But consider this scenario: they start out as a normal enough young couple, reasonably happy and naive, and Eileen leaves the magical world for Tobias, because she loves him or gets pregnant or is escaping her own family or is disowned, but over the years, she is resentful of it, resents the poverty they live in, and in difficult economic times in a failed industrial town, Tobias resents that he is unable to provide as he ought to as the man of the house, and his feelings of emasculation made worse by the fact that his wife has magic powers and he doesn't; maybe he resents her for having them because he doesn't want to feel weak or maybe he resents her for not using them to improve their lot the way that Tom Jr resents his dead mother or maybe a complicated mixture of both. And for her part, Eileen resents that this is what she gave up her life for, left her world for, and now feels stuck in, and being unable to communicate or work things out or understand, they just constantly and increasingly take it out on each other in a way that's simultaneously both and neither of their 'faults,' they are both reacting to situations beyond their control by behaving terribly, and sometimes one has the upper hand and sometimes the other does.

Snape obviously takes his mother's side over his father's in his early memories, but that doesn't mean that's how it always was. It's understandable that he would do so because he sees her side -- literally, her side of his extended family, which he apparently does not have any tangible interaction with -- as the ticket out of his unbearable life caught in the middle of this impoverished and dysfunctional mess. Maybe, like Tom Jr judges Merope perhaps over-harshly for her failure to save herself with magic, because he is a child and he does not know what she went through or have the ability to empathise, young Severus concludes that the only reason his mother does not ride off with him into a magical sunset where he will be safe and respected is because Tobias must be enslaving her somehow, unable to accept that his parents are equal contributors to a prison of their own making because to do so would mean letting go of the fantasy that the only thing between him and the life he wants/deserves is his muggle father.

I will happily read fanfic that presents Eileen as being a true and complete victim who nonetheless tries to do what's right by her son in the limited ways she has available to her, but just as the appeal of Snape himself is that he is both perpetrator and victim, bully and target, systemically 'privileged' and individually 'oppressed' (as much as I despise those words), an antagonist who is unpleasant and unkind and unjustifiably cruel to people weaker than him but who is also a hero who is selfless and brave and capable of great loyalty and love and sacrifice, I am very much intrigued by an Eileen who defies easy categorisation.

I hate the deification of Snape’s mother, Eileen.

I see a lot of head-canons about the Snape household involving pure evil from Tobias while Eileen is a perfect angel who goes to great lengths to care for their son. I think it’s a nice idea, but I don’t see this being true based on what we know and can surmise from canon.

I think Eileen was probably abused so heavily that it closed her off from everything around her, including her son. There is really no other explanation for the fact that Severus Snape had long hair and stained, ill-fitting clothing (long hair that can be cut and stained and ill-fitting clothing that can be altered with magic). We know that grief can diminish a witch or wizard’s magic, in which case it makes sense that Snape grew up without certain amenities, but it gives no explanation for his hair being long and uncared for. Cutting hair requires no magical ability and poverty has nothing to do with it. If you look at photos taken during periods of great strife in places like Ireland, you might notice that while they are grubby and their clothing is ripped and badly fit, the boys have their hair cut reasonably, implying that even through financial hardship and famine, they are being loved and cared for at home at least to some extent.

Severus Snape at no point during what we are shown of his childhood exhibited any signs of an affectionate upbringing on the part of either of his parents. Harry noticed this in just about every memory of Snape’s that he sees.

I believe that Eileen was abused badly enough that she was no longer able to take care of her son and, while probably not strictly abusive like Tobias, was probably just as neglectful.

Of course, I think everyone has the right to headcanon a better upbringing for Snape. I just don’t think that it should cross the line into in discussions about his canon childhood, which is something I do see happening.

Sorry if this post is messy, by the way. I didn’t spend a lot of time rearranging and formatting; I just wanted to get it out.

I wanted to add something else quickly before posting. I’m not sure if I was clear, but I don’t fully blame Eileen for her part in the treatment of her son. She was obviously at least verbally abused alongside Severus Snape by her husband at least since she was a young adult. That being said, I don’t know how her parenting style would have been different if she hadn’t suffered abuse. One must imagine Sisyphus happy, or imagine that Eileen was trying her best and without the abuse would have been a significantly better parent.

[everyday-is-brighter-with-you]

Honestly you know what I'm going to keep the energy on here. I'm going to try for once in my life. For Palestine as well as other atrocities happening. Expect this blog to be as loud as possible when I can.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

People findinging out that antisemitism does, in fact, victimize people

[epickiya722]

"Why do you like that character? They're so mean!"

"Why do you like that ship? Aren't they're enemies?"

The better question is why do you care?

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I'm circling back to this because I only ended up sleeping for like 4hrs because of the stacking annoyances of it all

I dunno man, I was bitching to a friend about it and as always they were spot fucking on like

That was obnoxious. Even if it's supposed to be lighthearted teasing, it's so like... why do you think it's cute to make yourself look bad? You're scared of a line? Scared of an infinitesimally larger alphabet? Is the existence of a phonetically readable language a threat to the struggle of English monolingualism, of how hard one has to work to master a batshit inconsistent language? It's a very insecure position to take, one because being monolingual is a very vulnerable position to be in, and two because the process of learning English is somewhat traumatic in its lack of consistency and the way the American school system punishes non-mastery. But getting a glimpse of someone else's potential comfort in a different experience does NOT need to lead to trying to knock them down for it.

It's the deep, visible discomfort that just shows up for people. It's why sometimes I care and sometimes I don't when people let me know they won't be learning Spanish. There are some people where it's just so obvious how fucking uncomfortable it makes them to have to think about language that much, and there are others who are like "I already speak 4 languages and I've tried Spanish, it hasn't clicked well in the past"

Like yeah! Fair enough! I'll never speak French and I can't justify that either! But at least you SEE me

I dunno man, I've been feeling weepy a lot lately because I want to be able to experience my partners as myself, and I'm realizing just how much of myself was made inaccessible to me over a lifetime of cutting pieces of myself off for other people's comfort

Okay I'm gonna vent about it a lot more calmly on main here but uhhhh

Folks. Folks I would like to offer a gentle fucking reminder to people who find themselves dating or fucking any native spanish speakers:

Don't make jokes about our language being ridiculous or unbelievable or otherwise worth less than English. You probably think you're just being silly and joking around with us. You are not. Your joke has context, especially for those of us who have had our language denied us at various points in our lives. And even if we're chill about it in the moment, that shit sticks with you, that's why it's called a micro aggression.

I really don't need or want anyone to get self-shaming about this post, but I cannot emphasize enough how crushing it was emotionally tonight to be having a cute and fun back and forth with someone, only to have them crack that joke about "crazy fake letters" the very first time I pulled out a pet name in my native tongue. Like. I'm not gonna lie to you and pretend I'm not mad, I **abso-fucking-lutely** am mad.

But the mad came after the wave of just. Cold, hard grief. After the feeling of the wall going back up because now I have to ask myself if this person knows how fucking RACIST and SHITTY what they just said was, and will they know THE NEXT TIME something like this happens, or am I gonna be fucking tanking microaggressions the whole time we're together? I'm mad because I have enough self-love to be angry someone was willing and able to hurt me like that and still thinks the flirty vibe is 💯 copacetic, not because I think anyone who makes this specific mistake is a monster.

But like. I don't think people understand how painful it is to live your life in someone else's voice because of how aggressively, racistly monolingual this country [so named usa] demands we be. How much it hurts for the words that mean everything to you to be nothing more than a fetish or a joke to even people who want to love you.

Anyway, you can take the bitch out of mexícali, but you can't take the mexícali out of the bitch apparently, no manches lmao

[lgbtlunaverse]

Everytime I see discourse about kink or nudity at pride I get reminded of the time I went to pride a few years ago with my mother and my sibling- who was 17 at the time and is somewhere on the ace spectrum- and about halfway through, the march went under a gatehouse. Some inhabitants were sitting in their open windows watching the parade. Right before we crossed under them, one of them decided to just... take her shirt off. She wasn't wearing a bra. And you know what happened? People whooped and cheered, and then kept walking. That's it. And there were kids around!! They didn't care. My sibling didn't care. My mother, a cisgender heterosexual woman in her 50s, did not care.

This stuff stops being such a big deal when you go offline. It was basically the same amount of boob you'd see in any perfume ad. No one was like 'what about the children?' And if you didn't wanna see it and looked down, no one would've called you a puritanical prude for that. And it helps to remind myself of that everytime I see kink at pride discourse getting rehashed because at actual pride, people don't care.

[bandzboy]

i've seen a lot of people say that the talk about companies being shitty makes them feel uncomfortable and i just want you to ask yourselves why that is. why do you feel that way? is it because you don't wanna face the reality of this industry? is it because you wanna enjoy the music while ignoring the fact that idols are suffering because of these companies?

i am not exactly saying it's the best feeling in the world to know this as a fan but there are people online that just wanna avoid this altogether and i feel that this is extremely disrespectful to the artists that you support. especially when so many of them have been open about the things they go through in this industry this year alone i just feel like trying to ignore this and saying it's "uncomfortable" is not gonna cut it and it just looks like you are dismissing the problem.

acknowledging and discussing these problems is how we can truly support these artists because they incredibly need it right now. as a kpop listener, you have to acknowledge how harsh this industry is. there's no other way around it. this is a pivotal time to talk about these things openly. if we want actual change to happen, we need to keep pushing it and make idols more comfortable to speak up about the mistreatment they go through

[ibijau]

I have my paraglider

goodbye Purah, see you never!

but also today is totk's last chance to please me and after that I restart botw instead bc I'm really struggling to enjoy this

[orangeearlgray]

Actually concerning lately how many hostile comments I have seen about queer women in kpop circles on here and twitter that are kind of framed through the guise of statements you can't really argue with like 'idols are real people' and 'idols deserve privacy' but with a tone that just shows how much people hate queer women more than they care about idols being real people and their privacy. Like I will see people say things about female idols like 'Women attractor!!' And then when a queer woman actually says something about being attracted to them they'll log on like woah now idols are real people you shouldn't sexualize what if she sees that and gets uncomfortable by the possibility of a woman being attracted to her :( Or female idols will be on stage kissing each other on the mouth and if a queer woman says anything along the lines of how they're just like us people will be like woah now!! Don't speculate :( Idols are real people too :( And with the Karina dating rumor especially I don't even know anything about Karina but my Twitter feed this morning was full of recommended tweets with concerning amounts of likes (one had upwards of 100k) that were basically phrased like 'You disgusting women likers are delusional for thinking she ever would have dated you!! What predatory freaks some people like men and are just straight and you freaks are going to have to accept that'