#I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to speak up
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oh my god I'm so tired of this Eurovision shit. it's an apolitical event. it was literally created to be something peaceful the participating countries can engage in together. it hasn't allowed the contestants to make political statements historically. y'all didn't care when Ukraine was being invaded and none of the performers were allowed to protest. y'all didn't care last year when Azerbaijan was invading Armenia and the performers weren't allowed to protest (y'all didn't care that Azerbaijan invaded Armenia, ie. the country they waged a genocide in, period). please stop cosplaying activism and learn how to do it in real life, and effectively.
how much are you parroting the things you see people get up in arms about online and how much are you listening to actual Palestinian human beings in Gaza? you think boycotting Eurovision is going to make a ceasefire happen? y'all can't even listen to Palestinians enough to stop supporting Hamas when they don't. you look foolish. and that harms Palestinian liberation efforts. you know, the thing you're supposed to be fighting for instead of posturing from the comfort of your tumblr account.
It's exhausting watching people claw so desperately for personal catharsis and label it activism to try and justify it. you just want to justify hating things and not feel bad about it.
-an actual activist
#sorry not sorry I'm so absolutely sick of this inane bullshit#it does NOTHING#I know no one's going to reblog this#because no one wants to get yelled at online and get anon hate#and that's some bullshit in itself because we all know none of these people have any actual respect for others on this hellshite#I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to speak up#most of the people going off about it have never watched Eurovision and weren't going to anyway#thank you for your sacrifice
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ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall
#ada speaks#idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh#which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but#chasing this mfer down to give him a hug#he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life.#i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is#he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this#letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able#i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar#but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15#even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center#because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too#this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad#the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling#because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act#the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan#means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off#so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it.#klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault.#it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen#cw csa mention
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also about parker, who i'm still thinking about constantly, this is more about parker's being dead than he himself though, but anyway fascinated by how arthur went from "a good man, and a better friend, and you killed him," to standing in front of a room full of people INCLUDING A POLICE DETECTIVE and saying with his whole chest that he killed parker. when there were like, a great many other names he could have pulled out that he did, unequivocally, directly kill. but he chose to claim parker's death for himself anyway.
#the nemesis speaks#mv liveblog#malevolent spoilers#granted parker's also the one person who's least likely to be new information for his criminal record#so it may have been. purely strategic given the police detective present#i don't know if they can prosecute you for saying you've killed six other new people if they don't know who those people are#but also. it was not that long ago that they were retreading ''john has done a lot of fucked up shit as the king''#vis a vis Mistakes and whether arthur was actually gonna kill wallace#and his immediate instinct to just eliminate people he dislikes also comes up again like. right after that.#the fragment of the king was just doing what the king did. arthur's the one who opened the book for him.#so who's to blame. really. is that what he's thinking#given what the butcher was needling him about in the first place i also wouldn't be surprised#if he chose parker specifically bc it's one death that served absolutely no purpose#it wasn't a self defense or survival situation. it wasn't justice. it wasn't deserved#for like. anyone else. he can salve his conscience somehow with oh i had to/oh they were a bad person anyway/all of the above#but that's exactly what the butcher Doesn't want to hear#and parker's also haunting the metaphorical fuck out of him in that season specifically so like. it's not like he had to reach far for it#anyway. so that's neat.
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bro i’m going absolutely INSANE over alastor 😻😻
so, how about when lucifer comes by the hotel, he subtly flirts w alastors girl. alastor is on the verge of going apeshit and almost leaves charlie fatherless.
instead of murdering anyone, he decides to take his frustrations out on his darling, leaving bite marks and hickies on spots just visible enough for lucifer to notice next time he comes by..
a/n: im OBSESSED 😍😍
alastor immediately recognized lucifer as competition on multiple fronts. obviously, the king of hell was a threat in terms of power level, and alastor hated that. but alastor also quickly hated how charming the devil was.
upon meeting you, lucifer takes your hand and bows, placing a kiss on your hand as well. alastor's eye twitches, watching someone else put their dirty little hands and mouth on what is his. "my, what a pleasure. you're helping charlie? that's lovely! means i'll get to be seeing you around more, huh? she didn't mention such a pretty little thing was her hotel manager." lucifer speaks to you, a cool smirk on his face. he's clearly interested in you, and while alastor can't blame the man, he's seething with rage. clearing his throat, alastor takes a step towards you and reaches a hand out to lucifer in an attempt to shift his attention.
"alastor." he speaks, barely containing the anger in his voice. "it truly is an honor to be meeting you, sir." you raise a brow at the tense interaction going on in front of you but pay it no mind. lucifer gives alastor a tight lipped smile and shakes his hand. "ah, you as well. charlie has talked about you." you notice the way alastor glares at lucifer, yet keeps a smile on his face the entire time. lucifer turns back to you, putting a gloved hand on the small of your back. "now how's about a tour, hm?" he leans into your ear to whisper, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.
behind you, alastor's horns grow and eyes redden, ready to risk it all in a fight with the devil and take out this whole god damned hotel if it meant lucifer never touched you again. "o-oh um, that's typically done by-" you start, but suddenly, charlie is running down the stairs with a panicked look on her face.
"heeyy dad! let's go this way, towards your room! it's late, you should rest." her smile is clearly fake, and you see her eyes dart from you to alastor and back to you. luckily, alastor reeled in his rage when the princess showed up and was back to his normal self on the surface. you can feel the energy coming from your partner, malicious intent painted all over his aura and you gulp. "al, c'mon... charlie's right."
alastor doesn't speak, but he follows you to your room for the night. the door is barely shut before alastor is lifting your legs and tossing you onto the bed. "care to explain why the fuck that little slimy king of hell was all over you?" he doesn't give you another moment to process before he's tugging your shirt over your head. "it's just harmless, al. you know i don't want anyone but you." you assure him, but alastor's teeth find your neck.
"i may trust you, darling, but i do not trust lucifer." his voice has a low growl to it that ignites your core. "but-" you gasp when alastor's mouth closes on the skin behind your ear, nipping it with sharp teeth. "no, because he and everyone in this place will know who you belong to." you shudder underneath of him, slight tinges of pain shooting down your spine at every nip and pull of your skin. alastor moves down your neck, leaving a trail of angry red and purple spots in his wake.
his tongue circles every bruise in an attempt to soothe your inflamed skin, but the marks just darken by the second. you hands dive into his hair, holding onto the silky strands. you feel alastor's body shudder as you circle the tufts of hair by his ears, making him press his hips to yours. "everyone in hell, my dear, is going to know that you're mine. not a single soul will ever try to touch you again." his breathing hitches, grinding his quickly hardening cock against your leg. you whimper when his teeth latch onto your collarbone, sucking hard and adding another welt to your skin.
"i want him to hear you." he hisses as he tugs your pants down over your ankles. its hasty, the way alastor frees his cock and pushes into your pussy, but you were more than ready for the intrusion. you cry out, suddenly being so, so full and alastor groans. "yes darling, just like that." your legs wrap around his waist, forcing every thrust just a little further until he's pounding at your cervix.
"d-don't stop sir." you gasp, eyes rolling into the back of your head while alastor's mouth latches onto the other side of your neck this time. "who do you being to?" he asks, hot breath fanning your skin. "y-you, alastor!" you whine, flexing your hips up to his in an attempt to build friction. "please, make me cum. only you feel so good." alastor peppers you in soft kisses now, ever grateful that you're willing to entertain the idea of letting lucifer know just who makes you feel like this.
alastor sneaks a hand between your bodies to rub skillful circles around your clit until your legs start shaking. "good, good girl. scream for me." he smirks when your tone shifts and he can tell by how tight you squeeze around his cock. "a-alastor fuck!" your body spasms, waves of pleasure rolling over you as you cum. alastor's orgasm follows shortly after, his teeth finding your skin once more as he spills deep inside of your pussy.
you have a brief moment of embarrassment when you think about just how loud you just were, your hand flying up to your mouth. alastor just laughs, placing a kiss on your forehead. "don't panic, my sweet. i think this little display will prove quite effective in keeping lucifers grubby little hands off of you." alastor pulls out slowly and carries you to a nice warm shower before tucking you in for the night.
---
"jesus christ, did you get into a fuckin' fight with a bear?" angel laughs when you walk into the kitchen the next morning. you were covered in hickeys all the way down your neck, and you were barely walking straight. lucifer refuses to make eye contact with you, especially after alastor walks into the room shortly after. "good morning everyone!" alastor chirps, smirking at lucifer who rolls his eyes and sips his coffee.
"well, there's the bear..." husk mutters, earning a cackle from angel.
#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x you#alastor x reader smut#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel smut#alastor smut#alastor imagines#alastor x you smut#hazbin x you#hazbin hotel imagines#hazbin hotel lucifer#alastor hazbin hotel smut#alastor x reader imagines#hazbin hotel alastor smut#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor x reader
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ミ☆ Astro Notes!
some basic astrology notes based on personal experience and opinions
i'm not a professional astrologer, this is just for fun~
let me know if you guys think differently/have different experiences, or if you relate to any of these, i'm curious to know what everyone else thinks! :3
random natal observations;
✩ scorpio risings do have an intense, penetrating gaze, but i noticed it's not just risings but ANY scorpio placement has it. i know someone who's chart is mainly air, but their venus is in scorpio and whewww those intense EYES!! (also the amount of scorpio placements i've seen say they're too shy for eye contact??? ya'll don't know the power that you hold! use it! hehe)
✩ speaking of scorpio placements, i would never want to fight with a scorpio mercury, those people will break you with their words if pushed far enough. their words will cut you deep, they know exactly what to say to hurt someone.
✩ pls stop saying aquarians (especially moons) are emotionless and don't care about anything. they can be like this if they choose to, that's their superpower, they can detach themselves from people and situations and emotions at will, but it doesn't mean they're emotionless or like robots, if anything their emotions run too deep sometimes and it all gets overwhelming, to the point where they need to take a step back. once you're close to an aquarian though, they'll open up, trust.
✩ also once an aquarius is done, they're done. they give many chances and are generous, but once they decide to leave, a switch happens and the warm, friendly person is gone. it's true that they are masters at ghosting and detaching, but if they do so, it's always for a reason.
✩ something i've noticed with leo moons (especially if they have scorpio sun or other scorpio placements) is they tend to be a bit selfish, idk if its subconscious or not. they care a lot about their own feelings, but dismiss other people's feelings and have a 'it's not that deep' attitude when they do something that hurts others. I've noticed this with 3 different scorpio sun/leo moon people.
✩ if astrology isn't real then why do sagittarius placements speak before they think??? lol it's kinda funny seeing their faces when they realise they just said something outrageous.
✩ people with venus in their 5th, please stop flirting with everything that has a pulse are ya'll not tired??? (teach me your rizz ways).
✩ i'm calling ya'll out, but cancer moons, please stop playing the victim in situations you created! just take responsibility and move on, no need to play the blaming, crying game. i believe in you! :)
✩ i've noticed pisces mercury people have sweet, soft voices but they tend to mess up when they talk a lot? like stuttering, forgetting what word they wanted to say, mispronouncing words. i guess it's the neptunian energy messing with mercury? anyone else notice it or just me?
✩ my mom is a scorpio mars and she refused to enter a shop where a lady she had beef with 30 years ago works saying "i don't fuck with her" LMFAO the scorpio placements (especially mars) and the grudge holding stereotype is realllll
✩ someone having juno/venus in their 11th house really likes the idea of friends to lovers type of romance! the types to want their lover also be their best friend. ♡
✩ to those who have mars square pluto, it gets better, i promise. you will heal, and the darkness won't last forever. remember that you hold a lot of power within you!
✩ harsh aspects to the MC, especially with sun/moon/mars, can definitely indicate a delay when it comes to finding a career, holding down a job, deciding what you want to do in life. remember that life isn't a race or a competition, even if it seems this way in this society, do it all at your own pace. it's your life, after all!
random synastry observations;
✩ not really an observation but i find it hilarious how some people are obsessed with the 8th house especially synastry, when it's the house that rules obsession lol the irony.
✩ personally, i've had 8th house synastry quite a lot, and i noticed that i prefer being the planet person, when i'm house i feel the 8th house energy way more to the point where it can become too overwhelming, when i'm the planet i feel it but not as intensely. so in my experience, the house person is the one who's more obsessed/attached/repulsed.
✩ someone's ascendant falling into another's 8th house will make the 8th house person feel intimidated/scared of the ascendant even if there's no reason to be.
✩ a family member's chiron falling in someone's 4th house can indicate deep wounds when it comes to family/childhood, the chiron person either created the wounds or triggers them for the house person. :/
✩ on a lighter note, someone's venus in another's 1st house! how sweet! i noticed it doesn't even have to be conjunct to the ascendant (although it definitely helps if it is), the attraction/appreciation is still definitely there! the venus person loves the 1st house and how they look and present themselves, if romantic, i picture the gif of a cartoon character with heart eyes popping out when they look at the 1st house person!
✩ 12th house synastry really does feel foggy, more so for the planet person, you never actually know what the house truly thinks of you, when you're together it can feel awesome and like such a close bond, but when apart suddenly doubts start to come in, like "do they really like me?" or "are we actually close or am i being delusional and imagining it?" and "what if it's one sided and only i'm feeling this way, and the house doesn't even care?" it can be a real mindfuck fr.
✩ someone's mars falling in another's 3rd house and/or conjunct their mercury can show the two people love talking to each other and have the most engaging and diverse conversations, the types to just stay up all night and talk about 100s of different topics! if badly aspected though it can lead to heated debates and arguments, especially the mars person being more argumentative and aggressive in their approach.
✩ venus conjunct someone's chiron is super nice to have, the venus person soothes the chiron person and helps them heal whatever wounds they are carrying! very supportive and sweet bond.
✩ in friendships/family, moon conjunct mars can feel abrasive for the moon person, the mars person being too aggressive/harsh for the moon even if they don't mean it and it's subconscious, the moon tends to take mars' words and actions to heart.
✩ in romantic relationships though, i personally found it works really well, the bond they have is amazing and the mars person tends to be very protective and loyal when it comes to the moon, it's a fiery aspect so when they fight they fight hard, but when they love, it burns in the best way possible!
✩ 6th house synastry really doesn't get enough attention and a lot of people tend to gloss over it, but it's so cute! it's definitely an acts of service and quality time type of vibe between two people, they just love hanging out with each other even if they're not doing anything in particular, or they love helping each other out with different things. it gives cooking/baking together, having movie marathons with a bunch of snacks and blankets, napping together, going for late night walks/drives just bc, one person is reading and the other is watching tiktoks while enjoying the comfortable silence.
these are some of my basic observations, feel free to agree/disagree with me! i hope ya'll have a nice day! ♡
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Thinking about Isagi Yoichi, the hero of Japan and biggest egoist on the field, being a complete loser when it comes to the girl he likes.
Like, he may insult the opposing team's players (and even his own teammates sometimes!) in the field, but gets all red and stutters when he needs to talk to you.
Isagi Yoichi who is absolutely delusional. If he holds a conversation with you for more than 5 minutes, you can bet he's gonna think about it during THE WHOLE WEEK. His friends can't escape his feelings either: he's always talking about you or associating things with you. Like: "Oh, she would like this!" Or "You guys won't believe it: we talked for almost 10 minutes today!" Please save Hiori and Bachira. They can't take it anymore. (Well, Bachira doesn't really care, but Hiori is really almost losing his shit.)
This absolute dork would listen to love songs while thinking about you and then get all blushy after, hugging a pillow while stuffing his red face on it and everything. And heaven forbids anyone enters his room after you compliment him! He's kicking his feet, screaming, crying and laughing all at the same time. SPECIALLY if it's a compliment regarding his football abilities. Say something along the lines of "That goal today was amazing, Yoichi! It was such a smart play!" and he's melting and thinking about it through the whole month.
Speaking of football, he'd LOVE to see you in his soccer games/practices cheering loudly for him. I mean, he's already absolutely smitten for you, but seeing you there screaming because of his goal or smiling because of a play he made just makes his obsession love for you grow 10 times bigger!!
He'd even ask his mom for advice on what to say to you! She thinks it's cute her little boy is growing up (even though he's already 17), so she tries to help him the best she can. But there's just so much mama can do. He tries to follow her teachings, but, as I said before, always stutters and trips over his words, which makes him feel really stupid and almost give up on love, since it's a "very hard and painful feeling that just hurts people" (his words).
When he finally musters up the courage to ask you out on a date (after a lot of insistence from Hiori, who is just really tired from all of this), he wants it all to go perfect. He has it all pictured in his head: he'll ask you to meet him in the back of the school after extracurricular activities so he can ask you out. He'll have flowers and everything, and then he'll say that speech he spent the last 14 days memorizing. You'll say yes with a smile in you face (he's already blushing just from imagining your smile, he really is down bad) and then you'll live your happilly ever after together.
Spoiler alert: nothing went as planned. First, the letter he wrote asking you to meet him in the back of the school got wet because he accidentally spilt water on it. So, he had to make a half-assed substitute letter to put in your desk.
Second, he forgot soccer leaves people all stinky. So, at the end of practice, he had to choose between taking a shower and showing up all drenched and late and showing up sweaty and smelly. He choose the former, after all, showing up late but presentable is better than showing up early but looking like you got shit on by a racoon.
Third, when he finally got there (you were almost leaving, thank God he caught you just in time!) and apologized for being late, he gave you the flowers. He thought nothing else could go wrong, but things can always get worse than they already are. But I don't blame him for not knowing that things could, in fact, get worse: how was he supposed to guess there were literally bees in the flowers? To get rid of them, he tried to shook the bouquet, but accidentally ended up throwing it at your face. With bees and all.
You screamed. He screamed. He grabbed the bouquet and shoved it away, looking at the ground and wishing it'd just swallow him whole. He messed up his chance, you'd never ever even look at his way again. You hated him, absolutely hated him. You wish he was dead, you were going to change schools just to never see him again, he's the worse person ever-
Huh? What is that sound? You're laughing...? You're seriously laughing?
You laughed. He got confused.
He looked up. You were throwing your head back while wiping away the tears that got out of your eyes. You were clutching your stomach because you were laughing so hard it was starting to hurt.
You laughed. He laughed.
You both looked like maniacs. Lunatics. Laughing alone in the middle of nowhere. You looked crazy he WAS crazy. Crazy for you. Not that you knew it at that time
He then decided to just shoot his shot and finally asked you out, without flowers or memorized speech. He didn't even think you'd accept, he just thought it wouldn't hurt to try.
Imagine his face when you said yes. Even with the shitty proposal and embarassing moments, you said yes. And he was absolutely delighted. You gave him your number so he could text you the details about the date, and he was seriously shaking. I'm being for real, his pupils were blown wide and he was almost crying from happiness.
He went home jumping and skipping from happiness. Now, he wasn't just a loser. He was a loser with a date, so that makes him less loserly (at least that's what he thinks).
You accepting his proposal didn't make him talk less about you. Actually, he was now talking about you more than before, if it's even possible. Hiori felt like killing himself (he was happy for his friend, of course, he just didn't want to admit it).
This fic has a "sequel", it's this one
Masterlist
#loser Isagi holds a special place in my heart#bllk#bllk manga#bllk x reader#blue lock#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk isagi#isagi yoichi#isagi x you#isagi x reader#blue lock isagi#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#fluff#isagi fluff
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Curly Mouthwashing headcannons
Romantic
Pre-crash Curly:
He is just so sweet
Curly is a very nice guy, but with you it's just deadly how nice he is
He's not one for PDA. Captain and all, gotta keep a professional look, y'know?
But whenever you two are alone, I like to think he likes to have his arms loosely wrapped around your hips and his head resting on your stomach
His favorite places to rest his head are on your stomach and chest
Yes ladies, gentlemen, and lades, he doesn't mind those weird noises everyone's stomach makes. And he doesn't mind hearing your heartbeat hammer out of your chest
But I imagine that Curly has a big thing for smells
The captain woke up with a groan, sighing and taking his first conscious breath of the day. His senses are flooded with the smell of you all around him, making his brain numb as he smiled and leaned further into you to drown in the smell.
Smell like vanilla and this can will literally die
He seems like he loves smells like vanilla and lemon
But he loves the way you practically swallow him while with your eyes
The way you look at him with such love and adoration, and not just because he's the captain
It makes him swoon every time
Fantasizes about marrying you and starting a family, but wouldn't push for it first. He wants to wait for you to be ready
You're his sweetheart and he loves you so much
Post-crash curly:
He wishes you didn't have to see him like this.
He feels like the shell of who he once was
Not the strong captain you loved, but rather a failure who can't do anything to help anyone. Not even himself.
Whenever you come and spend time with him, his eye looks to you in yearning
He yearns to hold you like he once did. Yearns to talk to you like he once did
He wants nothing more than to call you beautiful and compliment the same outfit you wear every day
He wants to lay against your stomach or your chest
The only sense of familiarity in your dynamic is your scent flooding his senses and your eyes.
How can you still look at him that way??
How could you see a man and not a monster?
He was partially to blame for this, after all. He failed everyone and was paying the consequences.
But you looked at him with such love..
It killed him when he saw you at that table.
Platonic
Pre-crash Curly:
Kind smiles and fist bumps all day long
He offers help whenever he can, wanting to make sure you were comfortable. You were friends after all and his responsibility
You got a problem? Hes there to listen
He just.. can't do anything about it
He doesn't have much of a backbone, and you learn that quick.
You two grew close. Maybe even closer than him and Jimmy were
But after what happened with Anya..
You couldn't even look at him anymore due to his negligence
Looking at him made you sick. He was a good friend but a horrible captain
"look, I just- I don't know what you expect me to do about this." He says with a tired sigh, exhausted from the work of a captain and the never ending piling issues. He watched as your eyes narrowed in his direction as if he was as awful as Jimmy, but before he could speak, you walked off with a scoff.
Post-crash curly:
He feels humiliated, same as with romantic
But your eyes don't feel welcoming.
He feels nothing but pity but a sense of the feeling that he deserved this in your eyes
Every time you see him, you're quiet
He wishes he could talk to break the ice
He always was the ice breaker.. but not anymore. Not unless you counted the noises of choking and gargling on your own blood and vomit.
But he always felt a sense of emptiness when you finally left
He failed you. And he failed everybody else.
He just hoped you would forgive him
And that this wouldn't hurt
Thanks for reading!!
#i recently got into mouthwashing if it wasnt obvious#i have an oc for it and everything#hehe#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing curly x reader#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#captain curly#captain curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing captain curly#curly x reader#curly mouthwashing#curly headcannons#mouthwashing headcanon#mouthwashing horror game
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My take on the "Shut up Soap" trope but make it fluffy because I love soft Ghoap
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Almost everyone on base has told Soap to shut up at some point, to piss off, to go bother someone else. He tries not to take it personally; the military is a stressful career for anyone, much less the special forces he's surrounded by. He doesn't blame anyone for wanting a little peace and quiet every once in a while. He's even started to anticipate it, going into every conversation with the expectation of getting brushed off or, worse, told off. It makes the disappointment a little easier to bear, at least, and he's always pleasantly surprised if it doesn't happen. Win-win in his books.
The only person who's never done it, who's never made his presence feel like a burden, is Ghost.
He's never once told Soap to go away, to take his energy and chatter elsewhere. Even in the middle of tense missions or sleepless nights, he listens. Or, at least, he lets Soap talk. Doesn't tell him to be quiet.
Soap should know better than to question it, because the fastest way to make a good thing disappear is to draw attention to it, but like always, he doesn't know when to leave well enough alone. They're sitting in Ghost's office, the man himself busy with paperwork while Soap sits on the couch, deep in thought, when he finally gives in to the ill-advised urge.
"Why do you do it?"
As soon as Soap speaks up, Ghost caps his pen and sets it down, turning his full attention to his sergeant. He tilts his head in question.
"Do what, Soap?"
"That," Soap says, waving an arm towards Ghost as if to encapsulate the entirety of his being. "Ye never... Ye never tell me to be quiet."
"I enjoy your company," Ghost says with a shrug, as if were that simple, but Soap frowns.
"Aye, sure," he mutters. "So does Gaz, but even he's told me to piss off before. You always pay attention."
"Is that so odd?" Ghost asks, his eyes narrowing slightly, and Soap has gotten good enough at deciphering his masked expressions to know it's out of confusion rather than suspicion or condemnation.
"You're the only one who does, sir," Soap admits, a little meekly, chewing on his lip to ease some of the discomfort of the admission. "Even when you're knackered or getting shot at or ragin', ye don't tell me tae fuck off."
"Would you rather I did?"
"No!" Soap says quickly, maybe a little too loudly, and he's quick to settle again. "I just dinnae ken why, that's all."
Ghost is quiet for a long moment, his gaze heavy where it sweeps across Soap's face, and he can see the moment that Ghost comes to a decision.
"I know what it's like," he shrugs, aiming for nonchalant and missing by a mile. For the first time since Soap started talking, he drops his eyes to his desk, as if the weight of his confession dragged them down. He picks up his pen again but doesn't uncap it; he just fiddles with it, the only nervous fidget Soap has ever seen from him.
"What what's like?"
"To feel like a ghost in your own life," he says, so quiet that Soap has to lean forward to hear him, hanging off of every word. "To crave the connection that comes so easily to everyone around you. To feel immaterial."
Soap isn't sure what to say to that. It's like Ghost dropped a bomb in the middle of the room that neither of them are willing to address in case mentioning it lights the fuse. He's never heard his own feelings expressed so succinctly, especially from someone else's mouth, and it stuns him into silence, his eyes wide and lips parted in shock.
"You deal with it differently than I did," Ghost continues, looking back up. "You fight back; refuse to let yourself disappear. I embraced it, became the ghost I felt like."
"Do you," Soap starts, his voice raspy in his dry throat, and he swallows before starting again. "Do you still feel like that?"
"No," Ghost says after a pregnant pause, the single word steeped in meaning. Soap feels the gravity of it, caught in the warm depths of Ghost's eyes. "Not anymore."
And as Soap grins, comfort flooding his veins, more potent than whiskey, he thinks that they may have solved each other's problems after all.
#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#tombstone's epitaphs#tombstone's ficlets
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I just want to understand how westerners who never experienced war, who don't have anyone they know affected by war, have the audacity to sit in their ivory towers and pontificate about war. It's truly mind boggling. These pampered, privileged, spoiled little kids sitting on social media, treating wars in which real people are dying like they're a particularly interesting Netflix show, drawing anime characters with the colors of terrorist regimes.
I have family in Odesa. Practically every summer of my childhood I spent in Odesa. I went to the beaches. I stayed at my aunt's apartment. Walked around the city with my cousin. Odesa is beautiful. And I watched it be bombed by Russians with no ability to stop my terrorist government from doing so. I received text messages from my cousin, saying, "we have fireworks tonight" and nearly lost my mind every time I heard of new bombing. I didn't know if the next day I would be hearing of my relatives being trapped under rubble. I had nightmares over what the Russians did and are doing in Ukraine. Bucha still haunts my thoughts. All of this slaughter is being done by my government and I have no ability to stop it. And Russian society supports it. You know, those screaming about innocent civilians show only one thing - they don't understand the first thing about fascist societies. The innocent civilians of Russia celebrated the annexation of Crimea. They stuck Z symbols to their cars and hung st George ribbons on their clothes to support the invasion. They got their kids to record their anti war teachers to get them fired or even imprisoned. They dress up their kids in military style clothes and they invite terrorists to speak in front of class about 'patriotism'. An innocent civilian art class teacher reported a girl who drew an anti war picture in class to the innocent civilian school principal. The principal called the police. The girl was put into solitary confinement until her mother agreed to take her. Her father was kidnapped and secretly put in prison.
Some other absolutely ignorant claims I've heard are ones about "collective punishment" and "illegal blockades". Funny. I live under collective punishment - sanctions, and countries bordering Russia are closing entry to Russians, slowly forming a blockade. And you know what? Russia deserves it. Russia deserves to learn the hard way that this is what you get for being an imperialist aggressor. I don't blame the Baltics, or Finland for closing their borders with Russia. I blame Russia for being such a shitty neighbor that such measures were needed in the first place.
And for those who will say, oh but how does this relate to the Middle East. Well, first of all, I'm a jew. I care when the biggest attack on jews since the Holocaust happens and the world spends 12 months celebrating it and bemoaning that only 1200 were murdered and not 7 million. I also care because, unlike you, I know Putin's allies, I know who helps bomb my family in Ukraine. I know that Hamas and Hezbollah and numerous other terrorist organizations terrorizing Israel are Iranian proxies. And I know Iran and Russia are buddies and Iran sells weapons to Russia. I was here, in Moscow, when the PA and Hamas were here for a visit. I was in the same city as those bloodthirsty murderers who want all jews dead. And yet people will still have the audacity to tell me that I'm the one who's in the wrong. It's me who doesn't understand anything about geopolitics, you see. I'm the one who can't tell the difference between a war and genocide even though I had entire branches of my family erased by the Holocaust, have parents and grandparents who lived in the Soviet Union and watched my own government attempt a genocide in Ukraine. I'm the one who doesn't understand imperialism even though Russia is an empire. Russians believe that all post Soviet states should still belong to them and make no mistake once they have them they'll go on to grab some more. I'm the one who doesn't understand how dictatorships operate such as using outside conflicts to distract the population from internal problems and hold on to power. I'm the one who doesn't understand anything.
I don't care if anything of what I say isn't politically correct. I don't care if just being honest about reality and refusing to coddle westerners with lies loses me followers. I'm not going to lie about my life just to be accepted on social media. I don't care. I don't care what the UN says, they've shown me their alliance way back when they didn't do shit for Ukraine. They let Russia veto whatever it didn't like. Putin wasn't arrested when he visited Mongolia. What did the UN do, really? Except waste their time with Israel? I'm not surprised to learn of the complicity of UNWRA. I'm not surprised to see videos of Hezbollah tunnels mere meters away from UN outposts. The majority of countries in the UN are undemocratic and interested in pushing their own agendas. The UN has lost its purpose. I don't care about the Red Cross, who told hostage families concerned about their family members being held by a brutal terrorist organization that "they should think about the palestinians". The red cross claimed there were no installations for the extermination of jews at Auschwitz too. I don't care about Greta Thunberg who now claims that Israel is causing damage to the environment and has forgotten all about Russia that continues to bomb Ukraine. Russia blew up a fucking dam, but everyone has already forgotten all about that. It wasn't the jews who brought down the Kakhovka dam, so who cares, right? No jews, no news. I don't care about student activists demanding they be brought humanitarian aid on the steps of elite US universities. I don't care about Biden who spent more time holding Israel back, than actually rescuing his own citizens from Hamas. I don't care about the Spanish with their history of antisemitism (the Inquisition), and colonialism (that they're now trying to blame on us by saying Columbus was a jew when he was not). I don't care about the British who also have their own history of colonialism and tried to stop jews who were fleeing the Holocaust from migrating to the then British Mandate. I don't care about South Africa, who would rather distract their own people with Israel rather than sort out their internal problems. I don't care about the BBC, Reuters, CNN, NYT nazi rags that give awards to terrorists taking pictures of the bodies of dead jewish women and cry bitter tears over a murderous monster like Nasrallah. I'm past the point of caring what any of these people say. I see who they are. I see their hypocrisy. I see their blatant bias and hatred. I see all of it. I'm tired of it.
And I'm tired of being lectured by westerners who don't live in reality. Who are so morally confused and who live with such a simplified worldview that they've started supporting terrorism. I actually live these conflicts. Who the fuck are you to lecture me? Who the fuck are you to "educate" me on anything?
#vent post#antisemitism#fuck hamas#fuck russia#stop lecturing people on their own reality and lived experiences#leftist antisemitism#russia is a terrorist state
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Can I request JJK characters x near death hurt reader? C:
a/n: you absolutely can, thank you for the request! this request doesn't have any characters so I picked a few myself, let me know if there's anyone you wanna see in this and I'll write♡ I also added a little confession to this because it was cute :) this is probably not what you expected at all but I hope that's fine
cw/tw: gn!reader, hurt w comfort (angst to fluff), hurt reader, mentions of death + blood, confession, gojo being a dad to megumi (I love them), probs a bit (or very) ooc, contains: gojo satoru, megumi fushiguro (separately)
nanami and sukuna version
♡♡♡
gojo satoru was a man who feared no fights; he was the strongest, invincible. he went into fights knowing he'd win, he never had any doubt of that.
and he smiled. he smiled and he joked around. he wanted to seem strong both mentally and physically. and he was strong, so strong he could protect anyone, he thought.
so why were you laying on the ground with your head on his lap with blood flowing out of your side? why was the ground being painted red with your blood? why was there so much blood, didn't he win the fight with the curse that was attacking you?
he took of the bandage that was over his eyes, placing it on your wound and pressing on it. it didn't help. the blood kept flowing out, staining his hands red.
"(name), open your eyes," he demanded. you shook your head so slightly he might have missed it if he didn't have his eyes glued onto your face.
"try for me, okay? open your eyes just a little."
you obeyed, looking at him with your eyes slightly open. your eyelids felt heavy. you opened your mouth and choked out a quiet "it hurts, I can't."
"no, please. don't leave me now." he pegged as your eyes started to close again.
"please look at me. the help is on the way, I swear." his voice broke a little and he hated it. he didn't want to cry, he wanted to be strong.
"I'm sorry." you whispered, wishing he'd hear your last apology and maybe, if there was a slight chance to it, maybe accept it.
"don't say that as if they were your last words," he said. "please, open your eyes and look at me."
but you didn't react. he noticed the tears in the corners of your eyes and the thin line of blood getting out of your mouth and sliding down on your cheek.
"no," he breathed in, feeling a wave of panic flow over him. he couldn't loose a person he loved, not again. he definitely wouldn't lose you, he swore to himself.
his head was spinning and he felt dizzy. "satoru, you idiot, you can't collapse too." he scoffed at himself.
"don't stand up or the wound will get worse." he said to himself. what if he didn't move, though? would the blood just bleed out before you got any help?
he felt your body get colder and colder by the seconds. his eyes started to sting and he felt warm, salty tears push out of his eyes to his cheeks.
"please wake up, please!" he sobbed out loud. he couldn't lose you, he didn't want to.
and again, he blamed himself for the nth time. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for not being able to save you." he sobbed, hugging you closer to him. he then raised his head up to the sky and screamed "I didn't ask to be the strongest!" as if the universe could hear him and change the past.
he cried like there was no tomorrow. he didn't care if anyone saw him like this, not now. he could make them forget about it soon enough, anyway. he could build his walls back up and stop looking vulnerable, but at that moment none of that mattered to him. he just wanted to keep you safe.
"gojo! (name)! where are you?" he then heard a voice.
♡♡♡
you opened your eyes but immediately closed them due to a bright light in front of you. you suddenly became aware of your horrible headache.
"(name)? are you awake?" you heard a familiar voice ask and you turned to look to your right.
"satoru," you coughed. he was unusually quiet so you quietly asked him if he was okay.
now that was what got him speaking. "are you.. you could've died - you almost did - and you're asking me if I'm okay?"
you smiled softly and nodded. "you seem quiet."
he looked at you. this was a rare sight - he was crying. gojo satoru, the strongest, was crying. but his next words caught you off guard.
"the love of my life almost died, how could I not be quiet?"
"what?"
"I love you, that's what I'm saying." he looked straight into your eyes, not wanting to seem like a coward. his cheeks were slightly pink.
you were quiet and he felt as if his heart was coming out of his mouth. he was nervous, more nervous than he ever had been.
"I love you too." you finally said, shaking some of his nervousness away.
"I love you so much. I promise I won't let you get hurt again, I'll keep you safe forever." he cried, wrapping his arms around you carefully so he wouldn't make your wound hurt.
"I know satoru. I know you will."
♡♡♡
megumi fushiguro didn't show his emotions often. he was cold and awfully straight forward with his words. because of this, he often hurt other people's feelings, may it be intentional or not. he didn't have much friends because of this.
he did what he was asked to. he fought when he was told to, he wanted to fight. if he won fights he could prove that he was strong and worthy.
he wasn't scared of many things, or so he thought. in fact, he told people he was fearless but it was a big lie. he feared many things, his biggest fear being abandonment. he feared that his loved ones would leave him.
and maybe it was the universe playing tricks on him and his stupid believes, because his biggest fear was displaying right in front of his eyes.
you were on the ground, unconscious and bloody.
he hadn't noticed this happening to you. the current fight against some curses took all of his attention.
he rushed over to you, kneeling down. he tried to wake you, tried to make you open your eyes but you didn't.
he didn't really know how to react. he felt his heart tighten and his stomach twist at the thought of you being gone.
he was in absolute shock, not knowing what to do. so he called gojo.
he answered immediately, just as megumi expected. gojo always answered him fact.
"heyyyy megumi, I'm kind of a middle of a fight right now but what's up?"
"it's about (name.) they're hurt. badly." megumi managed to say, suddenly realizing how dry his mouth was.
"I'll be right over." was what he heard gojo say before the call ended. megumi took your hand in his, squeezing it softly. it was his attempt of trying to comfort himself and stop the bad thoughts from coming into his head.
but as he looked at the ground, he became aware of the huge amount of blood that was coming out of your stomach.
and to his surprise, he cried. he cried in the middle of a fighting ground and in front of many many people. he never cried in front of people, but this was not an ordinary situation.
but then gojo appeared next to him. megumi quickly wiped his tears and tried to look as usual as he could but his tears didn't stop flowing out of his eyes. his tears blurred his vision.
"they're going to die and leave me, aren't they?" megumi sobbed as gojo told someone to take you to a safe place.
"they'll survive for sure, megumi, they're strong." gojo tried to comfort him. megumi shook his head.
"but what if they won't survive?" megumi cried. he felt helpless, childish even.
gojo wrapped his arms around megumi. he didn't know what to do in this situation, he didn't really believe his own words about you surviving.
so let megumi scream into his chest, he told megumi to just let it all out.
♡♡♡
you woke up in a hospital bed. your limbs felt heavy and to be honest, you just wanted to sleep. and you felt warm, really warm. were you getting sick?
but you opened your eyes and saw megumi's black hair. he was sleeping next to you, laying his head on your chest. you lift your arm to softly shake him, waking him up.
"(name)," he whispered, still not awake.
"it's me, 'gumi." you smiled and suddenly he was fully awake.
"you're awake." he stated the obvious.
"I am."
"thank god." he sighed. "I thought you died. and left me."
"I would never leave you. especially like that and without a goodbye." you smiled.
megumi hugged you. he didn't hug you often (he wasn't the biggest affection enjoyer) but this wasn't the most unusual thing. what was more unusual was the fact that he was crying.
"oh megumi, don't cry." you pouted.
"I just, I love you so much and I don't want to live without you." he sobbed. he really decided to throw all of the unusual behavior at you at this moment, you thought.
"you love me?"
"of course I love you, how could I not?" he asked, pulling away from the hug to look at you with his teary eyes.
"you're beautiful." you whispered. "and I love you too, megumi."
"thank god." he sighed, pulling you in for another hug.
♡♡♡
this is so bad omg I'm so sorry english isn't my first language btw so sorry for bad writing♡
I'm writing the other requests too, wait patiently my loves :D (and please request more)
MASTERLIST
#jjk angst#jjk x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#soft gojo#megumi fluff#megumi angst#megumi fushiguro fluff#gojo satoru angst#megumi fushiguro angst#satoru x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#megumi x reader#gojo sensei#gojo x reader#gojo smut#megumi smut
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Ok this may seem like im grasping at straws here but i need you guys to let me cook for a sec-
HUGE TADC EPISODE 2 SPOILERS
We start off the episode with Pomni’s nightmare, which is a reflection of Pomni’s fears and feelings that are going to be expanded upon throughout the episode. Her main fear isn’t abstracting here, it's the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of not mattering to anybody in the circus. This is seen clearly when Ragatha, Jax, and Caine are shown above the cellar, basically saying “good riddance” upon witnessing Pomni abstract.
And it makes complete sense that Pomni would feel this way once you look back at the circus’ reaction to Kaufmo abstracting (before the second episode). He doesn’t get acknowledged as someone who has just passed away, he doesn’t even get a moment of silence. Pomni notices this, and after she wakes up from her nightmare, she seems almost reluctant to bond with the rest of the circus members because this fear is still on her mind.
This is seen particularly when Pomni is speaking to Ragatha. Ragatha attempts to be helpful at any given chance, but most of the time Pomni is lost in her thoughts. Pomni doesn't seem very open to conversate with Ragatha because of her fears. But this isn't unwarranted, Ragatha literally calls the situation from the day before a “doozy” which brings up the fact that Ragatha constantly dismisses important issues, saying that they should just forget about the situation that happened the day before when Pomni left her for the exit. I understand that she’s trying to ease the tension between them, but I fear she might be making it even worse. Additionally, Ragatha dismissing a very important issue like that makes Pomni’s fears stronger, it may seem to Pomni that Ragatha doesn’t care…
When it’s actually the opposite! The whole episode she tries her best to motivate Pomni (“look, Pomni. We’re already friends with the princess!”, “So, Pomni, I’m sure there’s some way you could help out here.”)
and she’s also very concerned for Pomni when she’s gone (“...Pomni’s still on board!”, “Oh man, Poor Pomni. I hope she's alright.”, “I’m more worried she’s having another horrible experience.”, “Pomni! Are you okay?”)
However, all these remarks could be seen as condescending from Pomni’s perspective… And on the other hand, Ragatha feels like Pomni blames her for the situation, and that Pomni dislikes her.
Returning to the topic of Pomni’s fears, a lot of this is also reflected in her conversation with Gummigoo:
—
G:“I don’t matter in the slightest. I’m nothing. My life, my memories… my friends… it’s all fake.”
P:“...I think I know the feeling.”
P:“...I guess I just don't want you to feel like you’re nothing. I don’t want anyone to feel like that.”
G:“But I'm not even a real person. Would I even belong?”
P:“I’m sure you wouldn’t belong any less than me.”
—
Pomni relates to Gummigoo’s fears!! And Pomni is so compassionate and understanding too! …sadly their friendship didn’t last very long… and that brings us back to Ragatha and Pomni. Ragatha tries her best to be reassuring… unfortunately that didn’t work either. AND THIS WHOLE INTERACTION IS JUST- OH MY GOD... LET ME PUT A HUGE EMPHASIS ON THEIR BODY LANGUAGE HERE:
Also the WORDING HERE:
and this scene ooohhhhhhh,,,,,,,, this scene...!!
POMNI IS REASSURED ONCE SHE SEES THAT THE CIRCUS MEMBERS DO CARE. THEY WOULD CARE. HER FEARS DISSAPEAR AND AND- ohhhhmy god this is so sick and twisted.. this ep was.. soooooo good. holy smokes. anyways thank you for listening to my TED talk.
#[rant]#[ooc]#tadc#the amazing digital circus#digital circus#pomni#tadc pomni#the amazing digital circus pomni#pomni tadc#ask blog#analysis#tadc spoilers#tadc episode 2#ragatha tadc#pomni x ragatha#ragatha x pomni#tadc ragatha#the amazing digital circus ragatha#gummigoo#tadc ep 2#finally i let it out#buttonblossom#ragapom#jesterdoll#let them talk omg..#their tension is still not resolved#hooowever i feel like Pomni will feel more open to talk to Ragatha now#soon... soon they will.
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LN4 | Our Forever Moment
an: i still don't really know how much i like to make written fics, but i have ideas for them so i'm going to continue to try and write them, i think. my first language is NOT english, so sorry if there's any mistakes <3 pairing: lando norris x fem!reader, vasseur!reader (this is gonna be fun, lowkey not important, gets mentioned like a few times because i forgot) warnings: swearing (like twice) inspired by: mine - taylor swift word count: 6.2k
As she’s being dragged to another race, she wonders when her dad is going to realize she's always running off and never in the garage of his own team, she doesn’t know that he’s fully aware she’s never there. She’s been welcomed by everyone she’s visited though, which does make him happy. She mostly goes to Mercedes and Red Bull, but lately Mclaren has been looking quite interesting.
“Are you going to stay in the Ferrari garage today? Or am I gonna have to send someone over to Red Bull or Mercedes to find you?" Fred looks at yn with a playful smile.
“I didn’t think you noticed.” She's quite shocked. He always seemed to switch off being a dad whenever they stepped into the garage, so it never even occurred to her that he even wanted her there.
“Who do you think sends someone after you at the end of the day?” He turns back around as they get closer, “I think you, Charles and Carlos would be great friends if you gave them a chance,” they turn and walk into the Ferrari hospitality. “Oh speaking of boys, have you found a boyfriend I need to approve of?” He quickly looks back to see her surprised face before he turns back to see where he’s going, even though he could probably navigate it blindfolded.
“Well first of all, you wouldn’t need to approve of him, this isn’t the middle age,” yn lets out a small laugh, “and second, all of my relationships have failed, you’re partly to blame for pulling me to almost every race, and then I guess I’m just not girlfriend material.” She follows her dad around, because even if she does get pulled to all races, she usually doesn't hang out here for more than 5 minutes before she’s off to find Max or George.
“Chérie, anyone not willing to spend the short time you're home isn’t worth your time,” he stops in his track turns around and puts a hand on her shoulder, “and I’m not sure if I ever said it, but if you truly would prefer to stay home and only travel to a few, that is fine. I would understand.”
She gives him a reassuring smile, “I know. You wouldn’t have been able to drag me out of the house if I didn't truly want to be here.”
He gives one quick smile before continuing walking, and before she knows it, she’s left to herself because he’s needed for something important.
~~~
It doesn’t take long for Charles to spot yn, sitting by herself, because apparently everyone else is busy today. “Yn? what are you doing here? I thought you’d be off doing something with Max?” Charles looks around to see if Max is around and he just hadn't seen him, but it’s a lost cause, which he should have realized, Max wouldn’t be seen anywhere near anything related to Ferrari. Except for Charles of course.
“No he’s busy. Everyone suddenly got busy.” She looks back down at her phone and the messages between her and her friend, however it would be rude to text back while Charles is in front of her, so she turns it off and stuffs it in her pocket. “I don't really remember the last time everyone, well except for you I guess, was busy at the same time.”
“Well, I’m meeting Lando and Oscar for lunch, do you want to join us?” Charles asks with a smile, flashing some cute dimples. Not that anything could ever happen between the two. As attractive as Charles may be, her dad was his boss, and nothing good was going to come out of that.
“I think I’d like that,” she smiles back as she picks up her bag with her essentials, “it’s nothing fancy right? I didn’t really get dressed for something over the top.” She looks down at the ripped jeans and the oversized t-shirt that she’s wearing. Not exactly the cutest outfit.
~~~
“So you still live with your dad?” Oscar asks curiously, they all seemed fairly happy she was invited by Charles. And Oscar, who she hadn’t really spent any time with, has been asking a lot of questions.
“I do. I may be 21, but living at home is just a little easier. And I like spending time with my dad, even if I run off to other teams at the first chance I get.” She answers as she takes another bite of her food. Lando has been awfully quiet and it didn’t go over yn’s head. She was fully aware of how glued his eyes were to his food.
“Is it weird? That your dad is responsible for a Formula 1 team?” Oscar almost forgets to eat, because of all the questions he’s asking.
“It was in the beginning, but I've gotten used to it by now,” she takes a sip of water. “Is he always this quiet?” yn looks at the way Lando is poking his food “and is he always just poking his food?” She questions, making Lando's eyes move up for just a split second and then back down to his food.
“No. He’s usually pretty chatty, maybe he’s just nervous for tomorrow," Oscar says, finally eating some of his food. “He doesn’t usually get like this before a race though,” Oscar leans his head a little to the side as if thinking about it, before poking a finger in Lando’s side making him jump a little. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Oscar asks.
“Maybe he’s got a new crush,” Charles jokes, taking a bite of food just as Lando suddenly coughs and gulps down water.
“Are you okay?” Yn asks as Lando suddenly gets up from his chair avoiding any and all eye contact.
“No, I’m actually not feeling so great. I think I’ll have to cut this short if I want to be good to go by tomorrow.” He quickly gathers his things as everyone looks confused. “Bye!” And then he’s out of there.
“Well that was weird.” Oscar says as he goes back to eating
“Do you think it was me?” Yn looks at the rest of the men sitting around the table, a little sad that she may have ruined their lunch.
Charles smiles. “Yes,” he says, looking at yn, “but in a good way. I think I might be right, even if it was just a joke.” He lets out a laugh. “I’m sure there’s some truth to it.” He goes back to eating, and so does yn, deciding that maybe she’ll talk to Lando in private.
~~~
On his way back to the hotel, Lando struggles to figure out his emotions. Of course yn is absolutely gorgeous. But considering she’s Fred's daughter he wouldn’t dare to think of her as anything but a friend. He may not race for Ferrari, but he still has a lot of respect for the man. And Lando knows about his reputation of not being able to keep his relationships going for long. Hopefully he can just subtly ignore her. Because the feelings, and thoughts he had during that lunch were not friendly. And before he even considers anything, he needs to make sure his feelings for her are romantic, and not just him finding her pretty.
~~~
Lando spent close to 4 months avoiding yn to the best of his abilities, and when he wasn’t ready and she caught him off guard he made up some weird excuse about needing to look at data, test the car, try some new Mclaren merch for photoshoots. Yn usually knew they were lies, and wondered why Lando was so set on avoiding her. To be quite honest, it brought down her mood, and she spent more and more time in the Ferrari garage and hospitality. Her dad sensed something was wrong. She was rarely there and suddenly she never left? Something was going on and he was going to get the bottom of it.
“I see you’re spending time here today,” Fred sat across from yn. She was eating lunch. Alone. That was how she spent most of her time lately. All alone. Lando had unknowingly made her really anti-social.
“I guess.” She poked a little at the salad she had bought. She didn’t really want it anymore.
“Did the others have plans?” Fred asks, looking around.
“I’m not sure.”
“Is something bothering you?” Fred asked, concerned for her daughter who used to have a lot to talk about. A lot of people to talk to, and who never spent time at lunch alone in Ferrari.
“Nope.” Fred sighed. He wasn’t going to get any answers. If it was because she genuinely just didn’t feel like talking today or if there was something wrong, he wasn’t sure. But he was gonna ask Max, or maybe Lewis to talk to her. He didn’t want her to be lonely. He got up from his chair. He had to get this started immediately.
Fred’s quest to find Lewis was surprisingly easy. He found the soon-to-be Ferrari driver hanging out with Charles and Carlos near their own garage. “Lewis! Can we talk?” Fred called out before he reached them. Lewis just nodded and started walking towards Fred.
“Is it about my contract?” Lewis asked cautiously. He knew he hadn’t been performing that great in the Mercedes this year and was afraid Fred was going to only make it a year so he could be finished with him.
“No. I need you to talk to yn. She's suddenly spending a lot of time with Ferrari, but alone. Which, as you may know, isn’t where, or how, she usually spends her time.'' Fred looks really concerned, and it’s like it’s transferred to Lewis immediately. He’s known yn ever since her dad started dragging her along. She would usually spend time with George when she went to Mercedes, but sometimes when George wasn’t there and she just wanted to be somewhere else, Lewis and yn would play some games. Usually chess. Lewis was definitely better than yn but she still loved it. They could often lose track of time and suddenly one from the Mercedes team would come and get Lewis to either do some media related stuff or because it was time to get ready for a race.
“Of course! Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her around Mercedes for quite some time now. I’ll see what I can do, if I can't figure it out, I'll have Max ask her. They’ve always had quite a special bond I don't understand” Lewis gives the man a reassuring smile and a clap on the shoulder “Don’t worry, we’ll get her back to her talkative self very soon.”
“Thanks Lewis,” Fred looks relieved, but only for a second when his eyes widen. “Do you think Max did something to her? To make her feel this way?” He looks around as if he's scanning the surroundings for Max. And good thing he isn’t around. It wouldn’t have been a good outcome.
“I doubt it. He’s always been nice. Especially to her,” when he realizes how that may sound to the man in front of him and the way his eyes narrow, he quickly adds “as a friend. Not romantically. I’m pretty sure he’s actually in a relationship.” Fred seems to almost relax at those words and gives Lewis a quick pat on the shoulder
“Hurry up and get my daughter back. I miss her.” and with that he walks off. Hopefully not to find Max. And if so, Lewis sure is glad he isn’t Max right now.
~~~
When Lewis finally finds yn sitting just on the outside of the track he’s surprised she was allowed. But then again she probably just mentioned being Fred's daughter and she was allowed. “Hey there. Looking cozy. Mind if I join you?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just sits down next to her on the grass.
“What do you want?” She asks. Not really feeling the company right now.
“You haven’t been spending much time with George lately. Have you been spending more time with Max?”
“No.” Straight to the point. But not really the point Lewis was looking for.
“Have you been spending time with Charles and Carlos? Since you’re spending so much time with Ferrari at the moment?”
“Would that be a crime?” She looks at Lewis, and he sees something different. Her eyes don't look as alive as they usually do. They’re missing the glow that makes yn herself.
“Yn, is something wrong? You know you can talk to me. Or Max,” he waits for a second, not sure if he should continue, but as she starts plucking at the grass without answering he decides she needs to know. “Your dad is worried about you.”
“Oh.” She answers, plucking a few more grass straws
“Did something happen?” Lewis asks, trying a different approach.
“I don't know. Maybe you should ask Lando.” Lewis is unsure what Lando has to do with this entire situation, but he promised Fred to get to the bottom of it, so he will.
“Did he do anything?” Lewis is ready to fight Lando. “If so, I’ll gladly talk to him”
“Well, maybe he’ll talk to you,” yn shrugs and gets up from the grass. “I have no idea what I did to him. He seemed happy enough about me being invited to join him, Oscar, and Charles for lunch a couple months ago, and then during lunch he was so quiet, barely looking up from his food and then he suddenly said he wasn’t feeling great and needed to leave.” Yn turns around and looks at Lewis, tears starting to form in her eyes. “He has ignored me ever since. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him he either runs away or makes up some dumb excuse to get away from me,” she wraps her arms around herself as if to protect herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, shakes her head and turns around again and starts walking away. “I shouldn't have put all of this on you. I'm probably just overthinking it anyway.”
"Wait!" Lewis is quick to get up from the grass and gets a hold of yn’s arm, ”I’m glad you told me. Let me talk to Lando. See if I can figure out why he’s avoiding you. Maybe there’s a reason,” yn smiles a small smile, but it’s better than the empty expressions she's had lately. “Nice to see you’re still capable of smiling.” Lewis returns it with a smile of his own and guides her towards the Mclaren hospitality. “Now let’s get to the bottom of this.”
“Thank you. Not just for this, but also for always putting up with my bullshit.” Yn looks straight ahead. She wasn’t exactly planning on saying any of that, but oh well. It won’t hurt anyone.
Lewis just laughs and pushes her lightly. “You should be grateful. It's impossible to keep putting up with it.” If he wasn’t laughing while saying it, she would have been hurt, but she just laughs with him and follows him, to hopefully get some answers from Lando.
~~~
Lando was not expecting to see Lewis, so he wasn’t able to run off as quickly as he usually does, and when he spots yn behind Lewis, he tries to make up some excuse about having to talk to an engineer about a possible car problem but Lewis stops him. “Lando. That’s enough.” He puts a hand on Lando's shoulder before he gets a chance to run off. “Why do you keep running away from yn?”
Lando sighs, he can’t run away from it anymore. “I kinda would prefer for this conversation to happen between just me and yn.” He runs a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck.
Lewis looks back at yn, then at Lando, then back at yn, “are you fine with that?” He asks, while she nods and follows Lando into his drivers room
“So.” Lando starts, not really sure how to get the conversation going.
“Why have you been ignoring me for the past 4 months?” Yn asks, wanting to get this solved as soon as possible. “Did I say something that upset you so much during lunch that day?” Yn can feel the tears threatening to spill over, but she would like to get through this conversation without crying.
“No! Oh my god. Not at all!” He turns around because he’s not sure he can look at her while telling her this. “I think I might, sort of, have feelings for you.” The room is filled with silence. Lando is almost afraid she ran out of the room, If it wasn't for the fact he could hear her breathing.
“So you decided the best action was to avoid me?” Yn asks, with a playful grin. If she had known this was all it was she would have had someone talk to him earlier.
Her playful tone makes Lando turn around with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you or run off every time you tried talking to me. I was just afraid I would end up spilling a full love confession, and I’m not sure your dad would be too happy with that.”
“Well he doesn’t get a say in my love life.” Yn closes the distance between her and Lando.
“I suppose you’re right.” Lando takes a step forward, making the distance between them smaller.
“So are you going to be doing anything about it?” Yn tilts her head slightly.
“When I have planned it,” Lando smiles and takes a step back as he feels a vibration in his pocket. “Damn, I actually do have to go now,” a text from his engineer asking him to come back for a meeting. Lando grins and walks towards the door, “but you're totally free to stay here until I’m back. And trust me, I’ll be spending the entire meeting planning the perfect way to ask you out.” He flashes a quick smile before he's out of the door and yn is left alone in the room. But this time being all alone is different. She doesn't feel all alone. She’s the happiest she’s been in four months.
~~~
“I have the perfect plan.” Lando and Oscar are doing a track walk just to have something to do and make sure the track is fresh in their memory for the practice the next day.
“Yeah?” Oscar isn’t really sure it’s going to be as perfect as Lando thinks it is. “Are you totally sure about that?” He questions, raising an eyebrow, while taking in the surroundings of Monaco.
“I’m 100% sure.” Lando nods. He knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s in fact not going to ask directly. He’s made a fun little game, and got a few drivers in on it. “Just promise me to not ruin it when she comes to you.” Oscar sighs. He obviously isn’t going to spoil it.
“How are you going to ask her? If you aren’t doing it directly.”
“That’s a surprise.” And no matter how much Oscar pushes, Lando doesn't tell. Just smiles and shakes his head.
The next day when yn arrives at the paddock Alex greets her as soon as she’s arrived. “For you.” He says and hands her a letter.
“For me?” Her face is full of confusion as she opens the letter.
“Dear yn, I’ve made a little scavenger hunt for you. I hope you’re going to have fun. At the end you’ll find a surprise. Here’s the first clue.”
That’s the end of the letter. “So what's the clue?” If anything she's even more confused now, it doesn’t even say who it's from. It could be from George. But she doubts it. He’s never done anything like this before.
“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Alex rushes and pulls a small lego car from his backpack. more specifically a Mclaren lego car.
“So I'm guessing I have to go to Mclaren?” She questions and looks at Alex who just shrugs. So that’s where she heads to next. Who knows how long this is going to last. She does think it’s going to be fun though. She’s always loved clues.
As she gets closer to the Mclaren garage she finds Oscar standing looking around holding a letter in his hand. As he notices her, he walks towards her. “Here. From a mystery man.” He says, hands her the letter and walks off trying to look mysterious.
Yn laughs and opens the letter. This time, there’s no text. Just a card. “Happy fathers day.” She reads out loud. That’s all the card says. “I guess that means i’ll have to go to my dad?” She wonders out loud. Would this person involve her dad? Would her dad want to be involved? “Hm, probably just ferrari.” She says as she notices the card is mostly red.
She walks over to the Ferrari garage but can't find anything and decides it might be at the hospitality. As she enters the building she notices Carlos standing with a smile on his face and a whistle in his hands. “Here you go.” He hands her the whistle as she reaches him.
“That's it? Not a letter? Anything to guide me more than-'' she looks down at the whistle now in her hand, “a whistle?” She looks back up at Carlos who looks around.
“Consider the first letter of the whistle.” He whispers and quickly walks off, whistling.
“The first letter of whistle is w. So..” she thinks for a second. “Williams?” She laughs and quickly walks over to the Williams hospitality, but to her surprise finds no one, and decides it must be their garage then.
Here she finds Logan happily holding a small boat toy. “For you.” He says and hands it to her. Happy to be included. She smiles and wonders if this is the last one.
“Thank you, Logan.” She sends him a smile and walks to the dock to find a boat. Not really sure which type of boat, big or small. But she’s determined to find it.
When she gets to the dock, she fears it’s going to take a long time, until she spots Charles casually sitting on a yacht. As she approaches she notices a full basket of red bulls sitting beside him. “I guess I’m going back to the track. To Red Bull. Their garage?” She is sure to get those 10k steps she’s supposed to get every day.
“Yeah, if you want something to drink on your walk, I have plenty,” he pushes the basked towards yn and gestures for her to bring it, “in fact, let me join you on the way back, I was only sent here to give you the clue, and I don't drink Red Bull, so I can return it.” He smiles and gets up, taking the basket full of cans. “Are you having fun so far?” Charles starts walking back towards the track with yn following.
“Yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” she answers as she opens a can of the regular Red Bull, "I'm excited to see who set all of this up though” she looks ahead and takes a sip of the can.
“I can’t wait for you to see who arranged it,” he says. And that’s all he says. Yn tries to get more clues about who it is, but Charles’ mouth is shut. He’s not letting anything slip. And they arrive at Red Bull way earlier than yn was expecting so she doesn't get nearly enough time to interrogate Charles about who it is.
“I see you’ve come to terms with the fact Red Bull is the best.” Max teases as Charles and yn are within hearing range of a normal voice. While holding a bouquet of flowers?
“Ha ha ha,” Charles smiles, as he hands Max the basket full of red bull cans, “I’m just keeping yn company, and decided to return these as I won’t be able to drink them.” Charles laughs and gets into a conversation with Max until yn clears her throat, reminding them she’s still there.
“I’m looking for a clue,” she says, begging that it's close to being over because she’s tired of walking from one side of the track to another over and over.
“Oh right,” Max hands her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. She takes them in her hand and her eyebrows furrow.
“What kind of clue is this?” She looks at Max whose eyes go wide.
“I forgot this.” He pulls a letter out from his pocket and hands it to her.
“Another letter. Is this the last one? I don't know how much more walking I can do.” She looks so defeated but reads the note.
“If you received this letter, that means you figured out all the clues. I know you were just there, but you can find me on Charles’ yacht. Where the big surprise is waiting.”
She looks up as she finishes reading. “He’s got to be kidding. I swear to fucking god, if this is George and he just made me walk from that yacht, back to the track and then back to that stupid yacht i’m going to go insane.” You look back at the letter.
“My yacht isn’t stupid.” Charles pouts as Max hits him on the arm. “Ow?”
Yn sighs, “I guess I’ll get going. Thanks for the flowers I suppose.”
“Oh they were not from me. They were from him. Just hurry up,” Max looks down at his phone, “practice starts kinda soon, and he can’t be late.” Yn starts walking back towards the yacht. She can't wait to kill the man that made her walk this much.
Lando however has been setting everything up ever since yn and Charles left. Strawberries covered in chocolate, and since he doesn't like chocolate, strawberries without chocolate, candles on a small table on the sun deck. As yn gets closer, Lando walks down to greet her. “I swear to fucking god George if this is yo-” her sentence gets cut short as soon as she sees Lando. “You set all of this up?”
“Yeah. You didn’t seem to like it that much?” Lando rubs the back of his neck. He wasn’t the best planner of a scavenger hunt.
“I kinda wasn’t the biggest fan of walking all the way out here, back to the track and then back here again.” She crosses her arms, but seeing the concerned look on Lando’s face she relaxes her arms and walks onto the yacht with a huge smile. “It was still kinda fun.”
They spend a little while on the boat, sitting with their feet almost touching the ocean. Lando is not really sure if he should put an arm around her or not. He decides not to move too quickly and they just sit next to each other. “Oh I almost forgot,” she turns and looks at Lando. “I was supposed to tell you to hurry up, practice starts soon and you can’t be late,” she looks down at the strawberries, “but you distracted me.”
“Oh shit!” He gets up quickly and puts his shoes on, “meet me at the track! I would love to spend some time with you between practice 1 and 2!” He hurries up and practically runs all the way to the track.
~~~
For the next couple of weeks Lando spends a lot of time wondering how quickly to move forward. They spend a lot of time sitting near water, almost like the first time, except they don't have access to Charles' yacht every day. Every time Lando wonders if he should put an arm around her, but he never does. Until one day, when they’ve been sitting at the end of the gangway on the dock, their feet so close to the water, if they stretched them out their toes would be dipped in the water, and Lando’s arm comes closer and closer to making its way around yn. “Just do it already,” she says and leans on him, putting her head on his shoulder, “I've been waiting for the last many weeks for you to do it.” Lando can’t help but let out a small laugh and put his arm around her.
“I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it.” He looks down at her quickly before looking back at the water.
“I've been waiting for you to make some sort of move, so I knew if it would be appropriate to do this.” She says, as she sits back up straight and puts her hands on Lando’s cheeks and pulls his face closer. He puts his hands on her waist and pulls her closer while making sure none of them fall into the water. Her lips meet his softly, a tentative brush that sends a wave of electricity through her body. The kiss deepened, growing in confidence, and everything else faded away. All that existed was the two of them.
When they finally break apart, Lando puts his forehead against hers, a smile stuck on his face. He would never be able to forget this moment, and she wouldn’t either. “I’ve dreamed of this moment ever since that time Charles invited you to lunch.” Lando shares, not aware that yn has shared the same feeling since he shared that he had feelings for her.
“I was sure you’d do something about it sooner.” Yn lets out a small laugh and leans against Lando’s shoulder as he puts his arm around her.
“I was too afraid you didn't want to,” he says and lets out a sigh. “And I guess I just never thought to just ask.”
“Well, you should have.” She smiles, before looking up at him, and he can’t help but smile back. They sit like that for a while. Just enjoying each other's company.
~~~
A couple weeks later, when they’re lying on the couch in Lando’s apartment, watching a movie, yn can’t help but smile, thinking about this moment, and how she never thought this would be a reality in her life. “Can you believe it?” She says in a soft whisper, her voice barely even audible.
“Believe what?” Lando asks, while his other hand mindlessly runs through the soft strands of her hair.
“This. Us. I never thought I’d be in such a happy relationship while traveling so much.” She says, softly tracing small circles on the back of his hand, that’s draped across her waist.
“Well I’m glad you're happy,” He says, placing a kiss on the top of her head, earning a soft hum from the woman. “You know, you could bring some stuff here. Just enough for a drawer if you don’t want to get too serious.” He mumbles, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck.
She can’t help but smile, because she had been thinking of asking. “That would be nice, especially considering how much time I spend here.” She brings his hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss there, before going back to the movie.
~~~
It didn't take long for her to basically move in. It wasn’t official, but it might as well have been. She spent more time there than she did at her own home. But Lando didn’t mind. In fact, he loved having her there. They even started spending time together publicly, whether that was around Monaco when it wasn’t a race week, or if it was in the paddock. The fans had noticed how close they had gotten, and speculation quickly began. Were they a couple? Just friends? No one knew. Did Fred? No. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to ask. But he didn’t mind, as long as yn was happy. And she was, for the first couple of months. And then it seemed like Lando had other priorities. Of course she knew racing was important to him, and she didn’t expect to suddenly be on the absolute top of his priority list, that would always be F1 and she knew that. However, that didn’t stop the feeling of neglect starting to spread through her. She knew he had a packed schedule, but she would often find herself wishing he had more time for her, yet it just seemed he got less and less time for her.
As the relationship between them progresses, small arguments make it to the surface. Usually sparked by the fact yn feels unimportant, or that Lando misses a date or an anniversary. It’s never his intention, and he always makes it clear that he loves her, but as it continues to get worse and worse, she begins to question it. She even stops believing him 100%.
It was 2 am. Lando had just returned back to the hotel after the race in Singapore. He silently opened the door to the room he was sharing with yn, expecting her to already be sound asleep on the bed, but to his surprise she was sitting up, leaning against the headboard with the bedside lamp on.
“Can we talk?” She asks, her voice soft but filled with a hint of vulnerability.
“Of course.” Lando quickly closes the door and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Look, I know racing is extremely important to you, that it’s everything to you, but,” she pauses for a moment, not really sure how he’s going to take this. “What about us?” She asks, her voice shaking slightly.
“I know it’s been tough, and I’ve not been the best, but I’m under a lot of pressure right now,” Lando looks up at her and he can see the way his words hurt, and he can’t help the defensive tone that creeps into his voice. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“Didn’t have a choice? You’ve always had a choice! You chose to sign up for all those PR events. All the additional promotional videos. Do you know how it feels to always be the last thing on your mind?” Her voice raises a little as the frustration takes over, and she searches Lando’s eyes for a reaction, just some sort of reaction.
“I never wanted you to feel that way,” Lando sighs and looks her in the eye, he genuinely never wanted her to feel like she was his last priority. “But this is my career, it’s what I’ve worked towards my entire life.”
“And where do I fit into that? When you talk about your future, you’re talking about your next race, the next podium, the next win. I can’t continue to just sit back and wait for you to finally have time for me. I can’t continue to just be a spectator in your life, Lando.” The hurt is visible on her face, and she turns away momentarily to look out the window. The rain is subtly falling outside, and small drops of water roll down the window.
“I thought you understood when we got together.” He says, trying to defend himself. “This is my life, my dream. I never wanted you to feel like you're not important.” His voice softens, but his tone is still defensive as he tries to avoid addressing the core issue.
“I did understand. And I’ve been nothing but supportive, but it’s been months of you forgetting a date, or something else. And I’m not asking you to quit racing, I would never do that. All I’m asking is that I become a priority too. Because right now it feels like you’ve made a choice. And it’s not me.” Tears start to swell up in yn's eyes, and Lando is at a loss for words. He never wanted it to get to this point, but he doesn’t know what to say. He looks away, and that’s the last straw for yn. She swings her legs off the bed and grabs her suitcase that she packed as soon as she returned from the race, since they were planning to leave early in the morning anyway. “I’ll give you some time to think about all of this. But I won’t be waiting forever. Figure out if this is something you want. Because I can’t keep doing this.” And with those words she leaves the hotel room, and into the elevator.
She walks out into the rain, with tears flowing freely from her eyes. She stops and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want it to end between her and Lando, but she also can’t continue to just be a bystander in her own relationship. As she grabs her suitcase and is about to begin walking she hears Landos voice. “Wait!”
She turns around and sees him walking in long strides toward her, the rain already drenching his hair. “I don't want to lose you. I’ll never leave you alone again,” he says as he reaches her. “I remember how it felt when we were sitting by the water on our first unofficial date. Every time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time all over again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He places a hand on her cheek and gently rubs his thumb along her cheekbones. “Please don’t leave. We’ll make it work. I’ll make time for you. You’ll be my first priority, I promise.”
She looks up at him with an aching heart at the raw emotion in his voice. For a moment she wants to believe him, to just forget all the missed moments, but the pain is still too much.
“You say that now, but what happens when life gets busy again?” She asks in a whisper, her voice shaking as she speaks. “What happens when I become the last thing on your mind again because something else takes priority?”
Lando’s hand trembles slightly against her cheek, but he doesnt pull away, and neither does she. The rain falls a little harder, and their breaths are visible in the cool air of the night.
“I won't let that happen.” His voice is filled with an urgency, a need, that she’s never heard before. “I know i’ve failed you, but this time-”
“”This time,” she interrupts him and takes a step back, resulting in his hand slipping from her cheek. “How do I know this time is any different?” She looks at him with tearfilled eyes, waiting for an answer she might not want. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Lando takes a step closer and his eyes are filled with so much love and hope.
“Because this time, I know what it’s like to lose you,” his voice is trembling and he pauses for a moment, searching for the right words. “And I can’t. I can't lose you.”
#f1#fanfic#formula 1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#f1 2024#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fic#ln4 fic#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fanfic#ln4 x you
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Keep quiet..
Warnings: 18+, Lorraine x Fem!reader, smut, mommy kink, praise, fingering, pussy slapping, car sex. MDNI!!!
It was a normal day as usual for you, Lorraine, Maxine, R.J, Wayne, Bobby-Lynne and Jackson.
You we're all finishing up one of the scenes from the movie that you've all been filming, for everyone it was pretty normal for them, but you. You seemed pretty uncomfortable with the whole situation, so did Lorraine.. When you were all filming, you and lorraine looked at each other, both of you looking pretty disgusted and uncomfortable, but you thanked the lord that it ended. You had one of the mics that Lorraine holds up, Lorraine had a mic as well, R.J has the camera and Bobby-Lynne as always is smoking a cigarette as well as Jackson. Maxine is walking with Wayne and you're all bored so, Maxine decides to break the awkward silence, "did you all wanna maybe.. go into town?" Wayne answers, "sure Maxine, does anyone else wan' come along?" he asks, looking around the group of people. "uhm.. i-i'll come..?" you say nervously, because of the awkward scene you just had to watch and shoot, you're just thanking the lord that it wasn't you who was riding Jackson's cock and that it was Bobby-Lynne, as always. "alright, what about you two?" Maxine asked Lorraine and R.J. You look back at them, however, you cant help but admire Lorraine, how her dark wavy hair goes in front of her shoulders, her deep, dark brown eyes, the freckles that run along her cheeks and nose, her perfectly sharp jawline, her perfectly plump maroon coloured lips, you cant help but imagine what it'd be like to kiss them. You have always despised R.J, and how he doesn't show Lorraine enough attention, love, affection, etc. You wish that you could give her all of the love, affection and attention she needs. Lorraine has always been a bit quiet, she looks so innocent. But you snap out of that thought when R.J speaks. "Yeah, we'll come." Lorraine speaks up right after him. "yeah, its pretty boring with nothin' to do on this farm anyway." You swear you can feel yourself getting weak at the knees at her sweet, southern accent, you go crazy for it every time she speaks, which is very rarely. "Y/N, you coming?" Bobby-Lynne asks. "o-oh.. uhm.. yeah.. yeah I'm coming." you say as you walk to the back of the van and get in it. Wayne and Maxine in the front seats, Wayne in the drivers seat, Maxine in the passenger seat. Bobby-Lynne and Jackson are right up against the Driver and Passenger seats, talking to Wayne and Maxine. Lorraine and R.J sitting next to each other on the left side of the van together. Then there's just.. you. you sit on the right side of the van in the back corner closest to the back doors of the van, giving R.J dirty looks as he's being oblivious to anything around him, since he's looking back at the footage from the dirty scene you all just had to film. You look over at Lorraine, you see how she looks a bit.. upset, bored and just looks a bit pissed at the same time. If it was because of R.J, you don't blame her. He never pays attention to her, he's always been so fixated on this dumb movie that both, you and Lorraine don't even want to be apart of. You then get the courage to speak up, your voice is a bit quiet, with your southern accent, you speak up to Lorraine "hey.. uhm.. L-Lorraine, i just wanted to ask, are you alright..?" She looks at her and her facial expression changes completely, she smiles softly at you, she sits up and looks you right in the eyes. "Yeah, I'm alright, why do you ask?" ugh.. that face.. the smile.. the eyes.. the voice.. It drives you absolutely insane every time you hear it. You feel butterflies in your stomach when she smiles at you, her deep, dark brown eyes looking into yours. and you finally speak up after snapping yourself back to reality. "oh i was uh.. just.. just wonderin' you.. uhm.. you didn't seem alright, that's all." you say in a quiet tone. She speaks again as she smiles at her sweetly, "oh, no, I'm alright Y/N, thats just my face i guess." she chuckles and R.J of course has to ruin the mood. "Lorraine, can you shut up for two seconds? god, im trying to focus and i cant with you yappin' in the back."
Lorraine looked at R.J. She looked down and said sheepishly “o-oh.. I’m.. im sorry, R.J—“ R.J put his hand in front of her face, cutting her off “I said shut your damn trap. God, you don’t know how or when to listen do you?”
You were seething quietly. You hated the way he spoke to her, your fists subconsciously clenching that your knuckles turned white. you were about to say something until Bobby-Lynne exclaimed “oh! There’s a bar up here, let’s go!” ugh, great. if they drank, you’d be the one to drive, it happened every time.
“do y’all wanna go have a drink?” Wayne asks, his eyes looking at everyone in the back of the van. “We’ve been filming all dang day. We deserve a drink or two, Wayne.” Bobby-Lynne says, sounding a bit irritated. “Alright, Bobby-Lynne, we’ll go.” Wayne said. “I’m up for a drink.” Maxine said, lifting her head from the magazine she was looking at. “Yeah, me too. All this work, I need a drink as well.” Jackson says, taking a drag of his joint.
R.J had agreed as well. You weren’t a big drinker, you’d only drink every now and then. But it was very rarely you drank. Bobby-Lynne and Maxine looked back at you and Lorraine. “Y’all gonna come have a drink?” Maxine asks, her eyes darting between you and Lorraine. “o-oh uhm.. n-no.. no thank you.. im alright..” you say shyly, and you fiddled with the ring you had on your index finger. “Alright, what about you? you comin’?” Bobby-Lynne asked Lorraine, who looked up from her hands and she cleared her throat.
“oh, uhm.. no, im alright. Are.. Y/N and I allowed to stay in the van while y’all are gone?” she asked, looking at Wayne. “uhh..” he looked at Maxine and then back at Lorraine through the review mirror. He sighs “yeah, fine. whatever, go through that sweet footage we’ve got while you’re both here.”
As much as Lorraine didn’t want to, she wouldn’t have much of a choice. She wasn’t gonna do it anyway. she just nodded in response, and you hung up blankets on the windows, because the sun was way too hot. There were only windows in the front of the van, and on the back doors of the van.
. . .
You finally stopped out the front of a bar, because the one that Bobby-Lynne pointed out was closed due to being short on staff. everyone got out, except for you and Lorraine. All windows were covered by the blankets you put up, you and Lorraine were sitting quietly in the back of the van, you were just laying down, Lorraine was just sitting there as she looked at her hands.
It was quiet for a bit. You were starting to get a bit hot, so you removed your jacket. You were wearing a low cut shirt with dark grey pants. The shirt had half of your tits spilling out of it. You felt like that if you had taken your jacket off with everyone else in the car, you’d be awkward. You laid back down across the van, your eyes closed that you didn’t even notice Lorraine staring at you, biting her bottom lip slightly.
“Nice shirt..” Lorraine said, her dark brown eyes not leaving you for a second. Your eyes opened and you looked at her “oh, thanks.” You said a bit shyly, a faint blush on your cheeks as you answered. She nodded, and as you were laying there, you felt a hand on your abdomen.. your eyes shot open and you looked at Lorraine.
“d-do you.. do you need anything..?” you asked, a bit flustered feeling her long, slender fingers slowly curling and uncurling on the skin of your abdomen as she looked at you. “hm.. no, just looking.” she said softly, her deep dark brown eyes looking your body up and down. “Just looking?? then why is your hand on my stomach?” you asked, looking a bit confused and flustered.
There was silence for a while, then you heard Lorraine breathe in, about to speak. “How good are you at staying quiet?” your eyes widen, what kind of question was that? and why did it ever even come to her mind? you spoke up quietly. “u-uhm.. i-im.. im not sure.. w-why do you ask..?” Lorraine smirked. she traveled her hand up your stomach, across your beasts and then cupped the side of your face in her hand. “You wanna test that out, sweetheart?” she said, almost purring. you sat up, but she pushed you back down and held your thighs.
“L-Lorrraine.. what’re you doing..?!” you exclaimed in a whisper. Lorraine pulled you closer to her by your thighs, prying them open. “What does it look like im doing? we’re gonna see how quiet you can be for me, baby.” She purred, her fingers trying to undo the button on your pants.
“I- I didn’t.. I didn’t think you were doing this kind of thing..” you say nervously, Lorraine’s hands now slowly pulling your pants down, and off of your body, leaving you in black lace panties and that white low cut shirt. You whined pathetically as you felt her fingers rubbing against your clothed clit, and she looked at you.
“Keep quiet for me, baby..”
she whispered. Moving her fingers faster against you. A soft gasp left your lips when you felt her push your panties to the side, her fingers teasing at your dripping pussy. “hm.. so wet for me, aren’t you?” She said, in almost a purr. She then settled between your thighs, her face so close to your aching cunt. Lorraine then tore your panties off of your body, and tossed them aside. She then held your thighs tight against her shoulders, and she buried her face between your thighs, her tongue lapping around your dripping hole as she sucked on your clit.
“L-Lorraine.. fuck.. mmh..” you moaned. Lorraine made you look at her while she ate you out. You couldn’t handle eye contact so, you looked away. She slapped your pussy, making you look at her again after you whined.
Lorraine the bought two fingers up to your entrance, teasing at it. The tips of her fingers circling around your sopping, aching cunt.
“P-Please..” you whine, looking at her as she smirked. “please what, honey? use your words.” she said teasingly, her fingers still continuing to tease at your aching hole. “please.. mommy.. fingers.. mmh..” you whine, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you breathe heavily.
“Good girl..” with that, Lorraine slammed two fingers into you, curling them as she hits that soft spongy spot inside of you, making you squeal and she went at a brutal pace, pumping her fingers in and out of your dripping cunt.
“don’t stop..” you moan, looking down at her as she sucked on your clit and kept her fingers pumping. You two were still in the back of the van, parked next to a street, in front of a bar, where the others were.
“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” Lorraine asks, taking her mouth off of your clit for a moment. her fingers didn’t stop, you clenched around Lorraine’s fingers, so close to your orgasm as she kept going. “please.. fuck— mommy.. can I cum?? please.. please let me cum..” you begged, whimpering as you were on the brink of your orgasm.
“not until I say so. hold it, you can do it.” Lorraine says in almost a commanding tone, making you whine desperately. You were needy, extremely desperate for a release. “please.. p-please— mommy, I can’t..” you say through moans and whines.
Lorraine chuckled and took her mouth off of your clit again. “yes, you can. Hold it for mommy, understand?” “If you cum and I haven’t said you could, you won’t be able to cum at all.” she said her voice almost an order, like she was ordering you not to cum. All you could do was give a pathetic whimper. “answer me, do you understand?” “Say something, Y/N. Or I’ll leave you edged.” She hissed, trying to get you to answer her. All you could do was let out small words. “I— mmh.. ye-yes..” you said through heavy breaths and soft moans. “Good girl.” Lorraine said, latching her mouth back onto your clit, her hand travelling up under your shirt, her fingers teasing your nipples as she had her hand underneath your shirt and bra.
After a good 9 minutes, tears of overwhelming pleasure streamed down your face, your legs shaking, keeping yourself quiet because you didn’t want people walking past the van to know what was going on. Lorraine saw how you were shaking, nothing but a trembling mess under her touch.
“do you wanna cum, pretty?” Lorraine asked, almost as if she was being sarcastic about it. A moaned out sob left your lips as you spluttered out words “ye-yes.. please..” you beg, you’re so done, and you need that sweet feeling of relief leave you. “Cum for me, baby. Cum on my tongue.” She said as she withdrew her fingers from your pussy, making you whine, feeling empty. She then kept her mouth on you, licking and sucking at your throbbing clit, and aching hole.
Once she said you could cum, you didn’t hesitate. Your back arching off the van seats, your thighs squeezing Lorraine’s head to tight her ears started ringing, your hands gripping the bedsheets that were laid out across the van seats so tight that your knuckles turned white as you screamed with pure pleasure and relief. Lorraine cleaned up every drop of your sweet sweet nectar, licked you clean. She then licked her fingers and smirked at you.
“You did so good for me, baby. you were such a needy slut, weren’t you?” she said, her hand around your throat as you nodded “ye-yes.. mommy..” you said through pants as your eyes were hooded. “Good girl. You’re a slut, my slut. Do you understand me?” she said in a possessive tone. You nodded your head in response and she got you dressed just in time. The moment she pulled you onto her lap, her arms around your waist, your face buried into her neck, and your thighs bracketing hers. Everyone had come back to the van.
“What’s up with, Y/N?” Jackson asks as he jumps in the back of the van. “Nothin’ she’s just sleepin’” Lorraine says as if she didn’t just fuck you in the back of the van.
She then whispered in your ear.
“Just wait till later tonight..”
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𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 — 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 – 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭 ��𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭– 𝐧𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭, 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞, 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲/𝐧
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
five years. five years since i lost the love of my life. the woman i promised i was going to marry. the only woman who was there through thick and thin.
i lost her. i lost her to a man who buys her roses when her favorite flowers are tulips. a man who takes her out on dates to the bar when her ideal date is a restaurant.
a man who doesn't appreciate her worth, a man who will never know her the way i knew her. she was the love of my life and i refuse to let her go. he is not worthy enough of her beauty.
but i have to let her go. i have to accept that she is not the woman she once was back in high school. the woman who completed me.
it's my 5th year at uconn and i have promised myself to let her go, yet i can never seem to get her out of my mind. the way her brown hair frames her face so exquisitely, the way her brown eyes light up once the sun shines on her face so delicately enhancing her already beautiful features into something more.
all that travels through my mind when i see her with her boyfriend is 18 year old me back in high school. the day after she got sent away to god knows where, it was tragic. i tried calling her every second of the day, i went to her house only to be reprimanded by her parents.
i was told that i was the devil, i was satans spawn for implanting these sinful ideas into their perfect angels head. they never wanted to see me around their daughter again.
now five years later at 23 years old, i still feel everything i felt when i was eighteen. no distractions could ever tear away the pain and weight i feel in my heart from not being able to be with her.
i look in the mirror and all i see staring back at me is my eighteen year old self with the same look in her eyes.
its time, its time to move on and find someone new. speaking of someone new, i have started talking to a girl named gianna. she was beautiful. she has brown hair, brown eyes, beautiful inside and out.
but nothing can capture the sting of how y/n made me feel. she made me feel out of this world, and i don't think anyone will ever compare to her.
speaking of her, here she comes now, walking through campus hand in hand with her boyfriend, i stared in envy knowing i should be the one holding her hand. she looked happy, but i know deep down even if she doesn't realize it herself, that shes miserable.
she's not truly happy with him and i know it. the way she always distances herself from him, the most physical affection shes ever had with him out in public is holding his hand, and a mere hug, side hug at most.
but i could never blame her, no this is her parents fault. they sent her away and she came back a completely different person. she broke up with me, dropped all friends we had in common and acted as if i had never been in her life.
i'm tired of living life day by day without a proper explanation of why she did what she did, why she broke my heart, and why shes acting as if i don't even exist.
the moment i saw her alone and not with her boyfriend i took the opportunity to talk to her. i built up the courage to walk over to her and i tapped her on the shoulder.
the moment she turned around i could see shock and confusion spread through her face, she looked around for a second and she looked like she was about to walk away.
"wait, i know i'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but please y/n i at least want to know why, why so suddenly. i mean jesus i know it's been five years, but i loved you, so much." i rambled trying to keep her attention, tears forming in my eyes as i confessed my love for her once again.
i could see she looked conflicted, not knowing whether she should brush me off like she had always done or actually spare me a minute of her time to talk to me.
"i– i just– look, its nothing personal. five years ago we were still practically children. i didn't know what was best for me, my parents did they assured me of it." hearing her actually speak to me lifted a weight off my chest for a split second before it felt like it got dropped back on me 30 pounds heavier.
"what are you talking about? what do you mean 'your parents assured you of it?' what did they do?" i was scared, scared of what they did to her, what they said to her that made her go down this rabbit hole of forced heterosexuality.
"they wanted me to go down the right path and sent me to blue fire wilderness church camp. they fixed what was wrong with me, they made me realize that what we were doing was immoral and wrong, so please stop chasing after me, stop waiting for me because i got led down the right path and found my beautiful boyfriend, and you should try and go down the right path as well." hearing her tell me what happened, getting an explanation for the first time in years was a mix of emotions.
i felt refreshed for finally getting an explanation, then again i wanted to throw up right then and there for what the explanation was.
"conversion therapy, they sent you to conversion therapy y/n. can't you see that deep down if you never had any feelings for women you wouldn't have had to get sent to conversion therapy? they corrupted you and you don't even know it! i mean come on, i see the way you don't truly feel comfortable with your boyfriend, your body knows what you like and theres no changing that." i pleaded with her trying to get her to understand, wanting her to come to a realization that everything that was said to her was a lie.
she took a deep sigh frustration evident in her voice as she spoke to me, possibly for the last time ever.
"look, i need you to understand that i'm not a lesbian, i'm straight. i have a loving boyfriend that i'm going to marry, and you need to move on from whatever happened in high school. i was a dumb teenager who didn't know better and needed my parents to knock some sense into me. i don't know what you think you "see" but i love my boyfriend. please just leave me alone paige."
her words stabbed at my heart a thousand times over and over again as she kept speaking, my heart shattering even more with every sentence.
hearing her say my name for the first time in five years, and for the last time forever was emotional for me.
she walked away from me reuniting with her boyfriend as they walked away hand in hand once again.
i had lost her, forever.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 —
@mrsarnold @sweetluna20 @patscorner @tndaqlifwy @jadasogay
𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭! 𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠
#Spotify#send anons#send anything#send me dms#send asks#send me asks#wbb#uconn wbb#ncaa wbb#paige bueckers#✯ writing#✯ thoughts#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers x fem reader#paige bueckers x reader#paige x oc#paige hopkins#paige#paige buckets#paige x reader#paige bueckers fic#bueckers#fanfiction#wbb x reader#wbb fanfiction#wbb imagine#uconn#uconn women’s basketball#uconn huskies#send anything pls
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Ok ok i thought about this and for me it's sounds funny.
Sooo on the comic where everyone just found out that Rung is god you know where Rodimus, Rachet, Whirl and Tyrest and others having existing crisis and the part where Whirl said "God was my therapist" and then I thought about it, how funny it would be if cybertronian or human MC/reader said something like "I was fuck by said God" like if said cybertronian/human was in relationship with Rung and everyone reaction (plus Tyrest too since I think he's a god fanatic) 😂😂😂😂
XD omg so I had a bit of a joke piece about fucking God over in this fic. But it gets even better that thought of Tyrest being a God fanatic and hating Organics. The horror when he finds out Primus is with a human, watch this mech just break down.
Everyone's optics and eyes are on Rung, and the mech stands there wishing attention wasn't on him. Rodimus paces back and forth, Ratchet just stares off into a wall wish above all he wasn't here right now. Whirl, for the first time, is so quiet that it makes everyone so uncomfortable. And then there was the human just looking up at Rung in shock, dismay? They really didn't know how they felt in that moment.
Rodimus finally speaks. "OK, ok, but how the Frag!, Your Primus! All this time, you have just been what? Hiding on cybertron, having a vacation!" He asked. He was bitter about this, as much as he wanted to blame Rung for everything, cybertron falling apart, his home, and the matrix in truth it wasn't his fault. After all wasn't he doing the exact same thing, running away because he didn't want to be a prime, he wasn't suited for it, he didn't want to live in Optimus' shadow and have that shame over him. He'd take being co captain with Megatron over having to be in Optimus' shadow any cycle.
Ratchet, on the other hand, just wants a strong drink. He had never been a believe in gods, yet here he was finding out the the mech who had been the Lost Light's therapist, had been a neutral throughout the war, had a space ship collection older then some mechs was Primus. It was just his luck. "Does anyone else know?" He asked, trying to be the level-headed one of the group.
Rung removes his glasses, and the stress and exhaustion are very visible on his faceplate. "Drift, I believe, he's, he's always suspected something," Rung explains. He wasn't sure, but he's rather sure that Drift knows what he is.
Whirl finally laughs. "This is Fragged. How in the Pit did I end up this fragging, unlucky that my slagging therapist is Fragging Primus!" They shout, they don't know if they are angry, hurt or just overwhelmed, so much had been fried in their circuitry after the Emputra but this, this felt like a sick joke. All the things he had told Rung now feel like they were confessions.
Tyrest is baffled. He doesn't know whether to fall to his knees or call blasphemy, but the evidence is right there in front of his optics.
Rung is sheepish as he looks to the human. He's hoping they don't hate him. "I know this is alot for you all to take in, I'm sorry you all had to find out this way, I'm sincerely sorry for everything that has happened" He calls out to the group. He goes to continue only to be cut off.
"Fuck my life, Swerve is never going to let me live this down" the human stammers out. Everyone's optics are on them, a flush tints Rungs plating. "Please we don't need to bring that-" He's cut off again.
"The fact that I've unknowingly been getting Railed by Primus!" They exclaim only for Rung to hide behind one of his servos as multiple mech's Jaws drop at those words.
"HAH, and i thought I was Fragged!" Whirl screeched, finding humour in the situation. The other mechs look just as shocked and disgusted. "No, I refuse. That's blasphemy. Please tell me you haven't been interfacing with an organic!" Tyrest almost pleaded, hoping by the all spark that it wasn't true.
Rodimus pinches his brow ridge. He could feel his processor hurting from all this information. "Slagging Pit," he grumbles. " I Owe Sunstreaker so much Shainx now," he huffs. "OK, ok. Rung's Primus, and he's fragging a human." He throws his servos up in the air, being overly dramatic.
Ratchet just glares at the two. "They both of you are to report to medical for an examination after this, You" he points right at Rung. " I have some rather choice words for you," he states before stalking off, leaving.
The human looks at the floor, and the true panic is taking over. "Oh fuck, I've been fucking an Alien God who's also my therapist" they mutter to themself, tears starting to well up in their eyes and Rung kneels down cupping their face and wiping the tears away. "I didn't mean to upset you," he says softly. Optics focused on them. " I don't want this to change anything between us. You mean a great deal to me, and I don't want to lose you," he murmurs to them, pressing a soft kiss to their forehead.
The sound of the others arguing and fighting drowns out as Rung focuses on his little lover. "I'm not angry, Rung, Primus, or whatever name you want to go by, but... but I'm a human, a random fucking human so why me. Why me? " they nearly sob as he scoops them up, pulling them against his frame.
"My dear, I'm the the holy being everyone believes I am, I'm just a very old mech, who did what he could to stop something bad from happening, alot fo the tales told are very twisted stories. I'm just a mech, I'm not some holy being. And as for why you. You were the first person to remember my name, you took an interest in my hobbies, I would have happily faded into dust unknown but you choose me" he coos softly. Digits tracing their cheeks as he looks at them in pure love.
"But an Organic!" Tyrest hisses out as he watches how sweet and tender Rung is with the human. Is Rodimus who speaks up next. "Ah ah, remember each time to talk badly about organic races you lose Shanix which goes right into my account!~" Rodimus sings out, trying to make light of the situation for his own mental stability.
"You two are fragged and Slag, and I thought I had issues!" Whirl huffs before pointing at Rung. "Not a word about our therapy session to anyone, God or not, I will end you." Whirl nearly snarls before transforming and taking off.
"But you are Primus! You could have your choice of any cybertronian, pillars in your name cities, why have you hidden for so long!" Tyrest utters, he wants to be angry, but at the same time, this was Primus. How could he.
Rung meets his optics. "Because that's not the type of mech I am, I did what I had to to stop Unicron, I got sick of people trying to put me on a pedestal, I wanted to live, live my life, to enjoy hobbies, travel, I gave up my old frame for the ability to live" he states. He wouldn't change his choices even if he had the ability to. He was content.
________
MC: "Swerve get me a strong drink!"
Swerve: "heya what got you so rilled up, partner problems? Give me all the juicy details."
MC: staring him dead in the optics. "Swerve, Rung is Primus"
Swerve: "Well, I wouldn't call him that, I mean, he must be a good frag but doubt that"
MC: "No Swerve, Rung is Primus, I've been fucking your God, why me, how did I get to this point"
Swerve: "you know what let me get you a double"
--
Rung: "this is a mess, I need to get myself a Therapist"
Swerve: "well doc tell me all your woos, I'm the closest your gonna get for therapy"
Rung: " ships having a meltdown over my past and the fact I'm with a human"
Swerve: " eh, heard worse, your squishy things your Primus"
Rung: " yes, well that's also part of the issue"
---
Whirl: "soo.... Rung huh?"
Mc: "Please, I don't want to talk about it"
Whirl: "What part, the part where you're fragging the ships Therapist or the part where your Fragging Primus."
MC: "Oh my fucking God Whirl!"
Whirl: "Ah, ah, your fucking my God not the other way round!"
---
MC: "fuck you Tyrest, you owe Rodimus more money now, from being a Xenophobe."
Tyrest: "Like, I would ever let you within five meters of my frame you disgusting little creatin. Your insults mean nothing to me. Filthy little flesh thing"
MC: " just remember it's your Beloved Primus who's fragging me!, yea!, your beloved God prefers fragging me!"
Tyrest: *the most horrified noise ever* " You take the Blastphamy Back!"
__________
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having feelings about trans Gwen,,, like there's the 'superhero leading a double life' allegory for being closeted, which ppl have noted, but there's plenty I haven't seen anyone mention yet! like, the fact her dad has a trans patch in support of her means she's out.
She's a young trans *girl* (as opposed to a trans woman) living as her authentic gender in a loving home. she went to her school dance in a dress. she did ballet! which of course boys can do too, but often times when people are assigned male they don't get the chance to explore feminine hobbies. It's really lovely that someone, likely Gwen's dad, supported her enough to let her have those girly experiences and memories, whether she was living as a girl when she took dance up or as a gnc boy.
While it's subtle rep, I still think it's awesome to imply a character like Gwen is trans. Trans girls don't always get to have a childhood. Transmisogyny fetishizes transfems and presents them as always victimisers, never victims. They're barred from girlhood and it's connotations of innocence, vulnerability, lovableness.
Not that Gwen isn't a hashtag strong female character! And not that she hasn't had to grow up fast in other ways. She Is Literally Spiderwoman and she plays the drums and has agency and expresses negative emotions. But she's also a teenager, and she gets to be hugged and comforted, and to be set up for a soft friends to lovers relationship with another teenager, a cis boy who respects her and only knows her as a girl and thinks she's amazing and draws her in his sketchbook. That is not a role the media often lets trans girls have!!! It's lovely to think young transfems might be able to see themselves in a character consistently shown as worthy of affection.
Of course, the fact that Gwen is in the closet about being spider-woman is even sadder knowing this is her second rodeo. Lots of us have hesitated to come out a second time because our parents were supportive about the first thing and well, putting something else on them feels like taking the piss or hoping for too much.
Something else I wanted to talk about is how Gwen being trans effects a reading of her Peter's death, especially taking into account the new information this film gave us about this. There's this gendered switch happening, where Peter passes on his usual role to a woman. What's more, he has to die for her story to happen. She loves him, and never wanted him to die, but she's blamed for it anyway. Her father talks affectionately about the dead Peter, calling him his daughter's best friend. He talks about him like a son. He vows revenge on Gwen for killing him. It's a fantastic allegory for how some transphobic parents hate their out trans children for 'killing' the kid they had before.
I think with the above in mind, maybe we can see the subtext of Gwen's arc with her dad in this film as that of a supportive parent who's nevertheless got some biases left that hurt his trans daughter, who doesn't speak up for fear his acceptance is conditional.
I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that protecting a trans daughter is this Captain Stacy's motivation while he's working as a cop. Obviously there's the text that he wants to be a 'good cop' to work against the institution's bigotry, and he displays the trans flag on his work jacket. His quitting the police is a fantastic story beat because it makes a point about the real world while also serving a lot of the analogies going on.
Good cops quit. They realise you can't be a well intentioned cog in a bigoted machine. It doesn't matter if you're a bigot or just taking actions a bigot might because you're working within parameters set by bigots. It's an important message. Within a trans reading of the film, I'd also see this plot moment as Stacy realising he can't protect his trans daughter if he's still playing by the rules of a society that see her as threatening and duplicitous. He's then able to stop seeing her on some level as having killed his son.
They're able to be close again because he has completely rejected the cis culture he was a part of, rather than just decrying the worst parts and slotting Gwen in. She no longer has to worry that he'll rescind his acceptance if she's too trans, and so he gets to know all of her because she can let him into her world without self-editing.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on Gwen after watching Across The Spiderverse two hours ago lmao.
#atsv#atsv spoilers#across the spiderverse spoilers#spiderverse spoilers#spiderverse#spiderverse gwen
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