#I don’t want this to be my reality or future
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What does your Future Spouse look like?
Pile One: Flowers
Whether your FS is male or female, I'm getting the impression that they have some similarities to Chapelle Roan, or simply just listen to her. I’ve already written everything I need for this reading, I’m just going back and polishing it, so I would like to take the time now to say that there are three consistent themes within this reading that appeared within this reading for me.
1. Your FS likely resembles a celebrity in some way (you’ve probably read another one of my PAC’s before and you fell under the pile where I talked about Zendaya and Tom Holland)
2. Your imagine of your FS isn’t entirely what you think. There is something here that is a little different than what you image or expected.
and
3. Some of you are Queer and want your FS to be a woman. (For some of you though, you could be straight but just don’t mind if your FS happens to be queer or a woman who has many partners before. Some of you are looking for a dominant woman lmao. You’ll have it, haha.)
Anyways, if that sounds like you, welcome, welcome, let’s get onto your reading!
If your FS identifies as a woman, there’s a strong chance she has a similar look or vocal tone to Chapelle Roan, this hasn’t leaved me as I typed, although I’m getting that she probably doesn’t sings much, if at all, although she may just have that striking tone to her voice and appearance as a whole. She may also be a theater kid or have more of a theater-kid vibe about her, although this may just be you more than her. There are some parallels between the two of you (I’m also getting red lips, take it if that resonates, drop if not.) they may have a lot of similarities to you if not in appearance than interest. (I’m getting Hamilton and 21 Chump Street for some of you, maybe she likes musicals.) As I mentioned before there is a bit of a queer energy here, although don’t worry if you’re not, i’ll get to those of you who’s partner is likely male in a minute, but I digress. If you’re looking for a woman, I’m getting you’re looking for one who’s not only queer but also has a bit of that femme-fatale, Joan-of-Arc kind of vibe to her, like she’s a mix of princess and knight with a Renaissance-like appearance. I’m getting she definitely has that. Although for some of you this is likely a “Dream” and you’re being asked to be a little bit more “realistic” about your FS, no that they don’t exist or you the way you imagine but some of you imagine this warrior of a woman with big bright red flowy hair, something like maxie from Under the Oak Tree maybe, (but less shy) when in reality, her hair may be more of a brown-ish red rather than that bright almost blonde-ish ginger red you would see in like a movie or something, or perhaps more of a dyed color red. I feel like for some of you your FS may not even have red hair but just have dark wavy brown hair and freckles and while they will be outspoken they’re likely a little bit more introverted than you expected, but this doesn’t mean she’ll be any less fun or into the kind of stuff you’re into, i’m getting this is somewhat of my kinky pile and some of you are looking for a dominant woman, you’ll have it, you’ll have it, but don’t reduce her to only that, okay, haha. <3
If your FS identities as male, I sense a mix of patience and a bit of impatience from you lmao, you’re sick and tired of waiting both for me to get to describing your FS and also you’re sick of waiting for him to show up, but I’m getting there’s this back-and-forth inside you of what you want your FS to look like vs what they’ll most likely look like. (I know what my next PAC is gonna be about now lol.) Look, my love, your FS might not match the exact picture in your mind.
And that’s okay. I’m literally getting the image of a slightly sun-kissed, blonde-haired, bright-eyed, “golden retriever” type of boyfriend who could be a book lover and surfer who hangs out at the beach often and is a fond of marine life and what not, the “perfect” guy with a chiseled jaw and bright gorgeous brown eyes that make you melt under the sun. Thiiiis is not him lmao, but this does not mean this is “not” him. What do I mean by this.
Much like I told you, or the other side of Pile one if you skipped the first half. Your FS has some qualities about them that are different from what you expected. I get the sense that you’re afraid he’s not going to be your type and that you’re not going to be attracted and perhaps you try hard to let go of this and tell yourself that you’re okay with “any” type no matter how he looks like, but sugar, 1. It’s okay to have a type but 2. It’s okay to allow yourself to be okay to like someone outside of your type. You need to be a little bit more kind to your mind and understand that you have no idea what this guy looks like, perhaps you have very high standards or maybe even a light prejudice that holds you back from imagine him to look like anything except what you imagine him like, I’m not here to judge you but you need to understand that if you want to grow past this, healing does not come from judgment, you can’t grow and shame yourself all at once. If you’re judging yourself, ask yourself why, sit with that thought or feeling and see what it wants and why is it there, do whatever you need for yourself in that moment and then let it pass by and evolve. You’ll be just fine <3 But back to your FS, your FS is a criminally attractive. You might not notice it at first because they don’t look how you imagined in your head, but once you give them the space they need to shine in front of you, oh man you’re never coming back.
I’m getting some of you are looking for more of a “Golden Retriever” type boyfriend but you’re likely to end up with more of a “Black Cat” kind of personality. They might actually be Black, like African American (I’m getting some of you are African yourselves, perhaps you’re from West Africa, you might be the same ethnicity but don’t worry this man will NOOOOOT look like your father lmao) or if they’re a woman, they may have more “Cat-Like” eyes and be a little quieter and have sharper more model like features than what you expected, think Nara Smith but with more of a bolder, Alt style/personality. Anyways, your FS is hard for me to describe because of this very reason, whenever I go to say something about them, your energy comes in with a panic “NO!” you say, hahaha. For some of you, you have NOTHING to worry about and they look EXAAAACTLY what you imagine them to look like, but maybe with one tiny, itty, bitty difference like maybe they longer lashes than you expected or they have a beauty mark on their face. But for others, they look like how you imaged but 1 key treat is just the opposite. If they’re male I get the sense, you’re looking for someone whos has softer feature or maybe they’re “beautiful” in an almost feminine sense, your FS will likely be likely be like this. I feel like this is a very beautiful guy or maybe this is just your rose colored glasses trying to paint him like that again, haha, guys, please, I promise he’s beautiful, he’s very pretty but I get the sense some of you are attaching an almost unrealistic standard to how he’s gonna look like. You’re really indecisive here arent you? I keep repeating myself in this reading, it’s wild. But I promise I get it, it ain’t your fault. But do know that your FS DOES looks like a celebrity of some sort, if it’s not someone you recognie then maybe they just have the appearance of someone who would do good under the public eye, someone who’s very aesthetic and dresses well. But do keep the whole “1 opposite trait thing.”
If you expect them to look feminine, they’ll likely be masculine with feminine features.
If you expect them to be be silent and reserved, they’ll likely be calm but very sociable.
If you expect them to be tough and a lonewolf, they’ll likely be warm hearted but stern in a way.
I’ve been all over the place with this reading, let’s focus solely on their appearance.
If female she may look like Nara Smith or Chapelle Roan, If male a celebrity isn’t coming into mind (instagram model for some) but whatever image of a person, celebrity or not it is that you have in mind is the “Base” of their appearance BUT, find a trait, whatever it is that sticks out to you the most and switch it for something else. If her hair’s short, it’s likely rather long. If she’s Tall in your head, she’s probably a littler short. If he’s thin and a bit more on the delicate side, imagine him to be lean in his built or with a slightly rugged edge. Brown or “Reddish” Brown eyes for them.
That’s all for now, haha, as wild of a ride as this was, I had fun, I hope this reading brought you something. If you’d like a more personalized reading though feel free to buy a reading from me off my Ko-Fi! Donations are also appreciated (though never required, your time here with me was more than enough today <3)
I hope to see you again babes!!
Pile Two: Bicycle
Wow.. I don’t know how to describe your FS to you, I suddenly got this overwhelming sense of peace over me. I was just listening to United In Grief by Kendrick Lamar and now my phone’s Playing Blue Dream which honestly tells me so much about them. I feel like this person is just, honestly, a dream, I want to say they’re so pretty, but honestly calling them a beauty would be almost an understatement. They could be very spiritual, I’m struggling to pick up if they’re male or female, they may be non-binary and Identify as they/them or they may just be somewhat genderfluid. If they’re a woman, they have some “masculine” features to them, perhaps thicker eyebrows and wider shoulders, but honestly these features of their just make them appear even more mystical and more elegant. They can have very clear skin. If they’re male they might have some more “feminine” features about them, like soft beautiful lashes or a little beauty mark under the eye like that of a 1920’s actress. This person makes me think of incense, perhaps they meditate often or light some nice incense around the house, they really have this lovely earthy-spiritual vibe about them. If they’re black they may be light skin with soft curls, though for some of you it’s a tighter curl pattern, for others of you this person is simply foreign she could be south african if a woman and kind of resemble someone like Tyla, if male their ethnicity could genuinely be anything, though I’m getting they’re likely very mixed, they really give me Jhene Aiko vibes which makes sense given how she’s Black, Japanese, Dominican and something else I believe??? Correct me if I’m wrong. Overall this man is a beauty, I’m not sure why the Movie Millenium Actress by Satoshi Kon is coming into mind, but like the main character he could have a very calm, yet determined demeanor to him, I’m getting he’s been patiently searching for love for a very long time, much like her, a love that he’s not sure he’ll ever come to cross but he’s possible he’ll find one day. Gosh I can’t wait for you guys to meet.
Alright let’s continue talking about appearance, they may have a ���sleepiness” to their eyes and a sweetness to their smile that’s very calming, they might wear very flowy clothing or comfortable loose fitting clothes. I want to say street wear but honestly it’s a little more modest than regular street wear, this is only for a few of you but they may be muslim. Even if they aren’t they’re very stylish but they have a uniqueness to their appearance you wouldn’t expect to find anywhere else, it’s like a mix of modern and ancient. Like Imagine mixing punk with decora but still somehow making it work. I get the sense your future spouse might either be experimenting with their style or simply not have singular style and likes to try out different clothes.
This is also something not appearance related, but they may not talk much, they’re likely more a of a listener, they’ll likely like to hear you talk more, although I’m getting the sense you won’t be able to do much talking around them when they’re admiring you lovingly with those deep inquisitive eyes of their, haha. Honestly, being with this person is just going to bring you such a sense of peace and I get when they do open their mouth it’s always going to be the silliest thing that makes you laugh or something that’s thought provoking and inspires soul-searching. I recommend you listen to Blue Dream by Jhene Aiko, their energy to me feels so similar to this. I keep finding myself saying “What a Dream! What a Dream!” this could be you, or them although I get that you’ve never been with a person like this, I get that you might not expect to fall for them as hard as you did, but just know that when they met you, god, they knew it’d be no one else but you from that very moment <3
That is all my dove!
If you’d like a more personalized reading, feel free to purchase one from me off my Ko-Fi! (link at the end of your pile)
Donations are also appreciated (though never required, your time here with me was more than enough for me <3)
I hope to see you again, my dream!! (This could also be a nickname they might have for you or you for them now that I think of it <3)
P.S
Snoop Dogg keeps coming into my head during this reading, Idk why lol, it’s possible they may be very silly and good hearted or just have ADHD or be Neuro-Divergent in some way lmao.
Pile Three: Tabby Kitten
Pile one and two both had people who’s future spouse’s were likely Female, I’m sorry to say that if you’ve selected this pile expecting a woman, this is likely not for you. Wow, this person is MASCULINE like H.E.L.L honestly, they’re almost influencing the way I write, it’s very hard lmao to type casually like I do, but they’re very forward in the way that they talk. I feel like you likely know this person, I wouldn’t say this is an ex or perhaps someone that you’ve had a situationship with. I feel like they have a lot to say to you, I’m getting someone who’s more on the “Rough and Roudy” side, I almost don’t want to give physical descriptions, they’re someone who likes to banter a bit or sometimes be a little bit of a tease. They’re a lot to handle, maybe a bit intense but I don’t get that they’re toxic. This is for a few of you but he gives me “Booktok” vibes lmao, he might have tattoos. Is this guy real? Lmao??
I want today this guy doesn’t exist and I just got sma-OH SHIT!! WAAAAIT I GET IT. LMAOO.
Oh my gosh girl!! It’s not that he doesn’t exist, it’s that Y O U think he doesn’t exist!! This guy that you describe as your “boyfriend” could be like a mix of several book-boyfriends, he’s every troupe that you like but with a healthy-mindset-not-actually-toxic-and-wont-hurt-you-maybe-others-but-never-you vibe. BIIITTTCH AAAHH, oh my gosh, I feel like we’re at a sleep over and I’m geeking out with you. I get the sense that maybe you’ll be hanging out with friends and when you finally show them a picture of him they’ll all be screaming with you like I am. I really want to say this person is not real, but Jesus fuck, you’ve manifested this so hard I get the sense that this man actually does exist, like maybe you’re into super natural and your favorite character was Dean, he may look somewhat like Dean but with Tattoos and black hair and drives a motorcycle. Do you watch Doctor Who?? Are you a 90s kid or do you just like the aesthetic because I feel like I’m time traveling, maybe Dean isnt exactly your type but you’re more into a slender, pretty guy aesthetic who have piercings and isnt afraid to paint their hair and wear dark clothes. Lmao, I have no idea where this is going but sis I get that this person really exists, I’m not getting any opportunities to say no even as a joke.
The only thing is though that there are two of you here, for some of you, you really want the bad boy boyfriend of your dreams and you’ll get him exactly and you imagine him! But for others of you this – OK, idk wtf I just pressed but my computer like glitched almost and I deleted half of everything I wrote before pressing Ctrl + Z to bring it all back. KEEP THIS MINDSET THAT YOU HAVE AND DO NOT CHANGE IT BECAUSE BABYGIRL YOU’RE ALMOST THERE!! The only warning I am getting is to NEVER settle for less, because for a lot of you, you might fall victim to depressive energies and wanting to heal someone else and trap yourself in toxic relationships with shitty guys who use rock music and punk aesthetic and “nonchalantness” as an excuse to be dickheads to their partners and the people they’re supposed to love. NEVER settle for less, you paved the way, maybe some of you have been in past toxic relationships already LET THIS GO and never fall behind again, pick yourself back up Queen (or King or Your Majesty if you’re male or a they/them <3) and PUSH!! PUSH FORWARD YOU GOT THIS!!
And finally some of you don’t give a damn about no future spouse or tarot stuff but you just wanted to pick a pile and read something for fun haha. For others of you your spouse themselves may be reading this together with you in the same room, haha, I’m rooting for you!
Anyways, whomever you are, I hope you get the experience of your dream with this person and that they treat you like absolute royalty, don’t always remember this, that you don’t need to be reminded by someone else that you’re worth treating correctly, you are and have always been special, you are and have always been worth loving <3
“See ya, princess <3” (they may call you this, that’s for a few of you)
Byeee!! I hope to see ya soon! And if you’d like a reading from me, feel free to purchase one from my Ko-Fi or perhaps leave a little donation! Anything and Everything is appreciated but never required! Your time here with me has been more than enough! :D <3
I hope to see ya again soon!
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Week Ahead: 11/11-11/17/2024
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Remember, this is a general reading and it may not resonate for everyone or completely. Tarot is a tool to help guide but you are responsible for your actions and life, you choose your path.
Tips!
Pile 1
Tarot: The Hanged Man (Sacrifice), The Star (The Veil), Eight of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, The Fool (Death), Three of Cups, The Hermit (The Cosmic Tree), Strength (The Orbs)
Oracle: The Pathless, The Priest
Hello, my loves. Has the past week been a little tiring? Overwhelming? This week probably won’t be as crazy but there is a feeling of numbness. Maybe just lost. It feels as if you are just floating through time and space at the moment because of uncertainty towards the future. You’ve been thrust into a whole new chapter without any preparation and without any knowledge of it happening. And now, it feels like you have to sacrifice the past in someway, or it was sacrificed for you. You were grabbed by the arms and yanked away from the past.
I believe that your only symbol of hope at the moment are your friends. The ones closest to you or at least a community. They are the only ones grounding you to reality.
If you need to stay to yourself, enter hermit mode, for a little but until there’s a little clarity, it’s okay to do so. Just don’t let yourself be a hermit forever because that will cause more isolation and a feeling of being lost than you already have.
You’re working very hard and I think you can only trust yourself with that at the moment. Maybe it’s for a distraction for a little bit, maybe it’s for future comfort. But you’re persevering. You’re being very strong despite the uncertainty. And maybe this is just what you have to do right now to navigate a lack of direction. Follow your instincts because they will never lead you astray. I think you’re doing the right thing at the moment, if you needed that comfort.
Take things slow, one step at a time. And divulge in something you love to do. Self-care in any form will be good.
Pile 2
Tarot: Page of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Ten of Cups, Six of Cups, Page of Wands, Four of Wands, Ace of Pentacles, Six of Swords, Eight of Pentacles
Oracle: The Champion, The Adventurer, The Spymaster
Before I pulled any cards, I heard, “It’s gonna be okay.” It was in a very warm and comforting female voice. It’s like a mother, in her purest form, comforting you.
There is a lot of messages happening at once but I was being very organized when getting the cards out. I heard “keep your cards close” and “ducks in a row.” There could be a level of secrecy with something you’re organizing. And I think you are organizing this project with others/friends.
Now I heard, “loudmouth.” You’re being vocal about something and it feels like you feel an obligation to lead something. And this could be revolving around taking care of others in a time of need. I’m getting the sense of building a strong foundation and community. A safe haven. This could be people with a like-mindedness to you. I’m getting a vision of Woodstock ‘69 where people were taking care of each other and there was a kitchen where people from outside brought food to help when things got a little dire at the festival. You could be the one at the beginning saying it’s gonna be okay.
Back to the project you’re organizing. You could be getting a bunch of friends together so you all can live under one roof, save money. I don’t know there’s a big focus on help and community and minimizing a struggle here. You’re working really hard at it and trying anything you can to make things work.
Pile 3
Tarot: Ace of Swords, Six of Wands, Two of Pentacles, Five of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, Queen of Cups, Ace of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles, Four of Wands (reversed), King of Swords(back of deck)
Oracle: The Wise One, The Sentinel, The Assassin
I just want to say that your pile confused me the most. I also Wanna say that you are gonna be going at something really aggressively and quickly. The deck kept digging into my fingers, pinching me, and the cards would shoot out and hit something on my desk to the point of making a noise.
I had to pull for cards twice but the King of Swords remained here.
You could be going after something very passionately/aggressively. But I think it’s out of pure desperation and greed. Maybe even jealousy and pride.
Now, I don’t like doing general love readings but I do get a sense that this could be a person. And I don’t think it's out of pure intentions. This feels like someone you just wanna lay claim over so no one else can have them. There is very prideful and jealous energy. This endeavour will be fruitless. The person you want does not have the same feelings for you and may honestly see you as a “mean girl/person.” Or maybe you were just very certain they had feelings for you and you gained a lot of courage to say something only to be let down.
For those of you who actually like this person and have just been working the courage up to say something, I think it’s more of a teaching in courage. I think you will have success when it comes to your confidence because you had the courage to say something. This person probably won’t have the same feelings but they do recognize your courage and respect you for that. They won’t be mean about turning your advances down, they will be respectful and nice. But there won’t be anything that comes to fruition between the both of you.
Decks Used: White Numen Tarot: A Sacred Animal Tarot Deck by AlbaBG, Cosma Visions Oracle by James R. Eads, Ophida Rosa Tarot by Leila and Olive, The Citadel: A Fantasy Oracle by Fez Inkwright Dividers: @inklore
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A SUCCESS STORY FROM POWERFUL LITTLE ME
Heres a little wake up call. Before learning about the law I used to be so delusional. So far gone from reality like. Ignorance was fucking bliss I was manifesting crazy shit and when I realized this was the work of loa, I doom scrolled to educate myself on something I was already good at. Let me show you a glimpse of what I used to do.
When I was in middle school I had learned about manifesting. And I went about it in a strange way. I was a really good student up studying always made me a little crazy. School made me a little crazy. And I would pick myself up and go every morning because I had to. I preferred school over home but I hated both. So I was kind of indifferent to it. At this time I heard of manifesting. It was the end of December and I was just sick of school. So utterly sick I wanted to never come back. And I don’t know what made me do this but I would swear up and down that something was going to happen to me and I wasn’t going to school. And I kept saying this to myself to motivate me to pick myself up. (I have no idea what I was on, I was so delusional) I didn’t know what I was doing like I still went to school everyday but i was just joking around a little off my hinges you know. Anyway i got appendicitis 💀. And I stayed home for a the whole of February 💀.
I didn’t connect this to manifesting bc it seemed like a coincidence and I had been having stomach pain + frequent hospital trips for a few months so it was like it already happened. Anyway I went back to school and my home room teacher was my English teacher. And in English we had this thing where we wrote a book entry everyday and after two weeks we turned them in. Now I was always on time with this but since I had surgery I didn’t do mine and procrastinated on it even when I went back to school. So the Friday I woke up and figured she’d check them I was so scared it was the due date. But again idk what possessed me but I woke up shook my head and decided she wouldn’t come to school even though she never specifically skips Fridays.
I turned out she fell down some stairs and didn’t return for the rest of the year. The guilt ate me up. I confessed 😭. I told my friends it was me. She was already over weight and I was so worried. I did this with my math teacher when I didn’t do the hw but she always came back the next day. From that day manifesting scared me. I didn’t use subs, meditations or anything I just knew in a disregarding way.
After a horrific few months of introspection. I’m understanding things and have been consistently manifesting things for myself the past few days. Now I want to point a few things out. Me manifesting getting appendicitis took ignoring my life and having a “feeling”(It was NOT a feeling I was delusional asf and made things up to help me cope) but I persisted without knowing it would ACTUALLY happen. It took a month of persistence while manifesting my teacher not coming took an hour. There was no goal. I already had what I had wanted and in both cases didn’t care for the 3d. I didn’t do anything wrong to delay my manifestations the first time. I simply did not care about time. Or about 3d. Because i didn't even know what i was doing at the time id never heard of loa just manifesting. It didn’t matter that it manifested in a month and the other in an hour. I didn’t waver during either. I was a delusional ahh kid. I didnt do any of those things bc I didn't know what i was doing. I think it was escapism. Trying not to identify with my reality in order to bear it. And on feb 1st i had gotten surgery.
Another thing. I was religious during this time bc of my family. So I definitely had limiting beliefs but that did not stop anything. Despite having them I manifested what I wanted. When we only focus on tackling limiting beliefs we make them worse by giving them value and over stressing them. I will get more into this in a future post just wanted to point out that if 12 year old stubborn, crazy, delusional, religious, me could do it so can you.
~ With love Jyspire
#loa blog#loa tumblr#loablr#loass#loassblog#loassumption#loa#4d reality#self concept#shifting motivation#self love#love
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Prompts for puff:
I have a few prompts you might like to write about! Some follow cannon, others are AUs (I don’t know if you have a pref o_O) Feel free to edit these to your own ideas
Pirate AU: Class 1a are pirates, taking on the seven seas. But what happens when the League of Voyagers (a vicious rival pirate group) attack them, leaving them stranded on a mysterious island?
Shojou manga! Izuku finds Katsuki’s collection of shojou manga and reads it. Izuku discovers that Katsuki had been using phrases/tropes in the manga when talking to him. With this info, Izuku resorts to flirting the hell out of Katsuki. (Aka, Izuku finds out that Katsuki is in love with him and proceeds to romance him to the grave)
Villain Deku AU (hear me out), but it’s told from the perspective of Izuku from cannon who fell into the villain AU and helps Nedzu, Tsugauchi & Class 1A find and take down !villain Deku, all while Katsuki (from cannon) is finding ways to get him back. (Bonus points if !Villain Au Baku makes Izuku realise he is in love with him)
Hatsume’s rings of doom: in which hatsume makes thought-sharing rings using quirk technology & makes Izuku + Katsuki test them out. The rings do not come off. Help them.
RealityTV AU: Where the promising young heroes of Class 1A get a segment on the hit show HEROES 4 HIRE: a reality show in which heroes are called to do domestic jobs like babysitting and beach cleaning. Izuku and Katsuki have been paired and will spend the entirety of the show bound together by the hands (at least when the cameras are running).
Streamer AU: (def not original but whatever) Katsuki is a famous streamer, known for shaking up the gaming world with his aggressive play style and notorious attitude, but how will the sweet, funny and precious cinnamon roll that is Deku react when he gets placed into a raging tournament with katsuki? (Extra: Izuku is a badass and creates one of the most influential dynamics with Katsuki, who is ecstatic that someone can match his freak)
My personal fav TIME TRAVEL AU: This prompt can go many ways (AND I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS OMGSVFSNBDJSVS) but I’ll just pick one: Somehow, Izuku (who just got done fighting Muscular for the first time) gets transported to his middle school class, chaos ensues. (Katsuki is beyond concerned for Deku, but needs to get his head out of his ass before trying to reach out) How will Izuku handle being ripped from his time?
Hope these help. And it sucks that you are surrounded by Trump supporters, honestly fuck them. I want to cremate him and put him in a firework that explodes and says “EQUAL RIGHTS”, or smth like that.
(p.s. you are one of my favourite authors EVER and I go insane when I read your stuff. Literally frothing at the mouth rn)
Hi, thank you for the prompts! It makes me really happy that you like my fics <3
I probably won’t use all of these (at least not immediately because I’m kind of a slow writer. But I also do have a preference, I like to write canon compliant stuff so I don’t think I’d have the skill set to write the pirate, villain deku, and streamer AUs, though I do think they’re cool ideas to keep in mind for later!), but the Shoujo Manga, Ring of Doom, and Reality TV AUs sound hilarious, I’m definitely using those.
I really like time travel AUs, but I will say I do already have one planned. It’s like a continuation of another fic but I plan on making it long so I’m not working on it rn. I’m not sure how long exactly, but at least over 50k words so it’s definitely something for the future!
And yeah I think I can speak for every queer person of color who lives in the south, being here right now is kind of spooky if you don’t live in a big city. Luckily, I do live in the city, but my city is big enough to still have its fair share of bigots. I’m worried, but at the same time I have a lot of faith in our community, and I’m sure we’ll all make it out okay. I will say though, I’ve had to unfollow and block so many friends from high school over the past few days… it’s unfortunate but I’d rather that than have someone in my life who doesn’t believe I deserve to exist. But other than that, writing and creating stuff is a good distraction for now :)
#bnha#bakudeku#bkdk#midoriya izuku#bakugou katsuki#puff speaks#ask puff#puff answers#I was so desperate for my anxiety of the election to go away for the past month that I started a little jewelry business#ew Trump drove me to pick up a new hobby I HATE THAT#but at the same time jewelry making is really fun tbh#cw trump#bnha fanfic
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Thankful i got thru my period w/o a breakdown but boy am i tired and desperately wishing things were easier
#things as in affording and accessing basic necessities#the existential dread is chronic I just need some support man#what a world of difference it would do#i feel so alone#can’t see my gp when I need to#I’m barely gonna be able to afford to see my psych#don’t have the energy or physical capabilities to see friends very often#I have no family#is this all there is for me#I don’t want this to be my reality or future#constantly struggling to get through each day#and doing it all alone?#sounds like a fucking nightmare#when will things change?#will they ever change?#I’m so fucking exhausted
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knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it
#tumblr would be tumblr without me—as would the self ship community. it’s silly for me to feel so invested this Thing that is just that:#a Thing. it can’t give me the love or care or satisfaction with life that i’m looking for. i’ve been hiding on here—escaping reality.#because it’s fun to live in an imaginary world where i’m everything i want to be. where i’m the main character.#but in doing so i’ve been neglecting the ugly parts of my real life; the pain and hurt and harsh realities.#over the past couple months it has become apparent to me that i tend to put too much trust and effort into people#who have neither the capacity nor the desire to reciprocate.#so i just look like a fool in the end. (this isn��t about anyone here—just a pattern of behavior in general.)#at the end of the day#having thousands of followers on tumblr has no impact on my real life. if anything it makes me feel more isolated than ever.#because it’s yet another arena where i feel like i have to carve out my own space; i’ve never been good at taking up space.#anyway i suppose i’ll take the weekend away and see how i feel. i’ve had a lot of shit happening irl that has been so horribly difficult.#so maybe getting through all of that will help me feel more comfortable on my own blog again.#if you read this all i’m so sorry. i’ll prob regret posting my heartfelt thoughts in the future but at this very moment i don’t care.#self preservation be damned.#please support ficsforgaza; i’ll still be helping aleks over there because it’s one of the few places where i feel useful.#okay i’m done now. i’ll see you later. i wish you all so much love and nothing but the best.#tw personal
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had a terrible thought but if hgsn came out like seven or more years ago you know for a fact that the general fandom would have Hikaru and ‘Hikaru’ be twins so there could be a love triangle between them and yoshiki. The top fics would have ‘Hikaru’ be mischaracterized as a zany yandere and Hikaru would be a wooden plank that Yoshiki occasionally thinks about when he isn’t smooching ‘Hikaru’. There’d be discourse on ‘hikaru’ x hikaru selfcest/twincest shippers. ‘Hikaru’ would have some fanon name like Urakih or smth like that. Also people would make Yoshiki shorter than ‘hikaru’.
#Hopefully I haven’t just predicted the future but if we don’t remember the past we’ll be doomed to repeat it#But ig there’s still time for this to become reality.#I’m just imagining some awful oncelor type shit coupled with like vampire diaries (bad boy brother and boring brother wanting sad protag)#…does this deserve to go in the main tags?#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer hikaru died#hgsn#Also don’t call out the number I chose. I know these kinds of things happen in any fandom in any year#My hgsn shit
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Bleh
#I gotta rant n I don’t really have a place but here lol#but man is my past relationship weighing heavy on me today#(caveat of pls don’t be weird and make this his problem)#but I still just feel so lost over it#like obviously breaking up with no ill will is the ideal situation#but being forced to confront that someone you spent so much of your life growing with#can just decide they don’t like you like that anymore#like there was distance for a while before the breakup#that I don’t hold against him at all#but reflecting on the first several years of our relationship compared to the last 6months or so#feels like night and day#like you can go from someone being obsessed with you and you obsessed with them#enjoying all the parts of growing into adults together#to just feeling so unwanted bc the reality is they stopped wanting you a while ago#like going from telling friends my only holdup on polyamory was that I didn’t know if I could love another person as much as them#to having to bring to their attention that it wasn’t okay that I came to their family’s house n all he said was hi to me for the first hour#and then confronting that you didn’t do anything wrong#that shit just happens sometimes and neither of you knew how to navigate it#and fuck it makes me so scared for future relationships#because how can you not be scared when you can lose such intense love as the result of a few years passing#I almost wish it had been something I did :/#bc at least then I knew what to work on and mitigate going forward#but I can’t stop people just..#not liking me anymore
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i don’t think i’ve ever felt this lost in my life. tbh
#feeling sad? sure. hopeless? been there done that. anxious as hell? at least once a week. but lost? no. not really#and that’s really fucking scary because i’m not familiar with it and i just don’t know how to deal with it#i can’t stop thinking that i���m running out of time because i’m 25 and i don’t think i can afford feeling this way#taking a break from uni sounds good in theory but in reality? again. i’m 25. i need to at least achieve one thing in my life holy shit#it’s SO hard to see the good even when it’s right in front of me or someone points it out. like having a job or studying or getting to#travel or even just having friends ARE achievements but i always want More More and More i am addicted to wanting more cause it feels like#nothing i do is ever enough. and now i’m adding feeling lost because i’m finally acknowledging the fact that i don’t know what i want to do#with what i’m studying or how to get a different job in the future when i almost have no experience and everything is just so frustrating#because i simply don’t fucking know. i just don’t. i can’t afford not knowing!! everything is so messy rn you would think i’d be thriving#after seeing louis and meeting aria and traveling to germany and i am genuinely so happy those things happened but fuck man there is always#the Bigger Thing taking over and it makes me feel like an ungrateful brat i just don’t fucking know man. maybe i am an ungrateful brat#but it’s just so hard to be happy when you’re feeling so lost with everything in your life and yourself#anyway i just. needed to let that out#negative#effie talks to the moon
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still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni
like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!
#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp!#and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward#fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like.#but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine#and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them#is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization#and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing#ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them!#anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following#like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade#and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but.#these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another#and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it#and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up.#but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!!#and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh#not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us#so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities#like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually!#idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without#implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic?#anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper#of viciously constrained femininity#that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children#so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract#but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on#instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple#is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run!#anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.
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aJENdas
#get it#add it to my list of nicknames#happy thirtieth#also I didn’t end up showering#or writing my essay#((or eating))#but#I dropped off the chocolates#and not that I’m likely to get a thank you or any sort of communication#but a girl can (unhealthily) dream right?#but tbh I don’t know what I want either when it comes to him#I think EML doesn’t know himself much in general and has a lot he still needs to come into his own on#But I’m no shining star either#nor do I make things easy for myself#gladly falling into destructive habits#But I still#want to figure it all out#I want to know who my future will be with#because it’s only getting farther away the longer it takes#And my mind dissociates between the immanent reality and my years-old dreams#And it cannot make sense of the distortion#rant#anyways#have a good night
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logging back in just bc this is my only private diary
#random rant#tw for everything#god I think there is something deeply wrong with me worse than ever now I’m questioning my own self and worth and sometimes morals#I’m on a break from the guy I’m seeing#and I told a mutual friend about it#he’s the one who asked for the break even tho I don’t so that shit#deep down I kind of wanted it so why am I so wrecked over it#I hate airing my dirty laundry out to people uninvolved in said relationship#hate talking about trouble in paradise kind of shit but I told her the bad things he does to me#and I felt so guilty bc I got this weird intrusive thought#that as if im planning this sabotage tactic ? when I’m not all this isn’t my intention whatsoever#I just said the truth. and the thought was like ‘ok at least now I have established with a third party a reason if I need to abandon him in#the future’ what the fuck?? I’m not like this. I’m not apathetic I’m not using him why did I get that thought#he’s said some of the most horrible things I’ve ever heard fo me#ends up regretting it and says he didn’t mean it.#in reality I feel like I’m just trying to protect myself#I felt so pathetic having her listen to me tear up while talking#god put us on this earth to punish each other I’m having my Normal People arc#is this a form of self harm why do I do this to myself and to him too#I love him? I’m even thinking about relapsing into using and drinking but it’s not stemming from a coping need I just miss feeling carefree#and numb and momentarily happy almost#I only told him a few issues I have but not the bigger ones and I’m already feeling like as if he uses them against me in arguments#I want to get back into therapy but I can’t I have no access or resources this sucks ass#thinking of asking my pharmacist if I can get my antidepressants otc but I went off them bc the side effects were unbearable and I just#genuinely felt better for once as if I progressed but this is undoing so much of my hard hard work#and what’s funny he doesn’t even realise or see any of these things affecting me so horribly#I feel so insane I feel like a socio I want to be normal I want to be healthy I want to be happy and actually have it last#can’t sleep
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Sometimes, as much as I love internet communities and spaces, I really think a lot of people have spent so much time in sanitized, morally pure echo chambers that they lose sight of realism and life outside the internet.
I live in Alabama. My fiancée and I cannot hold hands down the street without fear of homophobic assholes. We have an abortion ban with no exceptions for rape or incest. We are one of the poorest states in the US with some of the lowest scores on metrics related to quality of life, including maternal mortality, healthcare, education, and violence. It’s not a coincidence that we are also one of the most red, one of the most Republican states in the Union. In 2017 the UN said the conditions in Alabama are similar to those in a third-world country.
Trump gave a voice to the most violently racist, sexist, xenophobic groups of people who, unfortunately for most of us in the Southern U.S., run our states and have only grown more powerful since his rise to power. The Deep South powers MAGA, and we all suffer for it.
We have no protections if they don’t come from the federal government.
I know people are suffering internationally and my heart is with them. However, this election is not just about foreign policy - we have millions of Americans right here at home living in danger, living in areas where they have been completely abandoned by their local leaders. We need this win.
No candidate is perfect, but for the first time in my voting lifetime I’m excited to vote. I’m excited for the Kamala Harris/Tim Walz ticket because they are addressing the issues close to home. They’re advocating for education as the ticket to a better life, but without the crippling student debt. They’re advocating for the right to love who you love without fear and with pride. Kamala has always been pro-LGBT+ and so has Tim. Again, if you’re queer in the South, we don’t have support unless it comes from the federal government, and we absolutely will not have support if the Republicans regain the White House.
Kamala speaks in length about re-entry programs to reduce recidivism and help people who have been arrested and imprisoned regain their lives. Tim Walz supported restoring voting rights to felons. In the South, you know who comprise the majority of felons? Members of minorities. It’s one of the major tools of systemic racism and mass disenfranchisement, and arguably the modern face of slavery (there are some fantastic documentaries and books that explain the connection between the post-Reconstruction South and the disproportionate rates of imprisonment for BIPOC). Having candidates who recognize this and want to restore the freedom and rights to people who have come into contact with the criminal justice system? And keep them from having to go to prison in the first place? That’s refreshing. That’s exciting.
I would *love* to live in a country where women’s rights are respected, where LGBT+ rights and protections are a given, where we treat former criminals and individuals experiencing mental health crises with respect and dignity. I would *love* to live in a country where education is free of religious interference and each and every citizen is entitled to a fair start and equal opportunities.
But I don’t live in that country. Millions and millions of Americans find their rights and freedoms up for debate and on the ballot.
Project 2025 poses the largest threat to the future of our democracy as we know it. We are being called to fight for the future of our country.
We have to put on our oxygen masks first before we can help others.
You don’t have moral purity when you wash your hands of the millions of us who are still fighting for own freedoms right here.
The reality is that a presidential candidate is a best fit, and not a perfect fit. But comparatively speaking? Kamala is pretty damn close.
#us politics#kamala harris#vote kamala#vote blue#don’t forget about the southern states please#we’re still here
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I apologize for uploading the video of my interaction with David, totally didn't think it would blow up and have such an effect on the fandom. Hope this hasn't caused you too much trouble!!
Honestly was in line for autographs and last minute was thinking of things I could ask him, lol.
I absolutely cannot WAIT for season 3, I know whatever you and Terry have put together will be amazing.
Apology accepted.
For anyone else out there for future reference, if someone involved in Good Omens says something directly to you and not at a public event, then perhaps assume it’s intended just for you and not for the entirety of fandom and don’t put it out as a public thing.
People get themselves worked up over things that they build in their heads. (“Obviously David reads Tumblr and knows exactly what we all want and is telling us all to prepare for the worst!” In reality David barely has a smartphone, and all he knows of fandom is meeting people at conventions.)
I don’t want to have to ask everyone involved in Good Omens to just smile and shrug when asked questions about Season 3. But I will if I need to in order to stop people stressing out.
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“you’re important to me, satoru.”
the words pierce through the comfortable silence. your lover’s closed eyes flutter open and stare at the ceiling for a second, unsure if what he’s heard was indeed reality.
his cerulean eyes eventually dart to your face. they’re filled with a rare sense of vulnerability, one that only appears around you. however it fades quickly when satoru tries to keep the moment lighthearted.
“heh, i know i am,” satoru chuckles, though you don’t miss the unusual softness in his voice. the white-haired man leans into your touch as your hands come into contact with his cheeks.
your smile lights up the room. it fills satoru’s heart with an undeniable amount of love— love that he has lots of. the kind of love that makes him dream of a future, his future.
the kind of love that reassures him that he’s someone.
“good! i’m glad you do,” you reply and pepper his face with kisses. your lover melts into your embrace and his head falls back against the pillows once more, his fluffy white hair pooling around his head, making him look like an angel.
satoru gently pulls you on top of him, the duvet around your tangled bodies rustling. the cocoon of warmth provides the both of you with a comfort like no other. “what’s with the sudden sappiness, baby?” he teases, booping your nose.
satoru doesn’t hate it. in fact, it’s the exact opposite. he cherishes the affection, the gentle reminders that he’s loved and will be loved until the end of time. even if no one in the world remembers him anymore, he knows you will.
you let out a small huff of laughter before placing a tender kiss on his lips. “just wanna show my man the love he deserves,” you hum and run your fingers through his hair.
as you speak, satoru can’t help but bask in your heartwarming words, drinking in your love and affection like a man starved of water.
you lower your head and leave a trail of pecks along his throat and collarbone. you eventually rest your head on his bare chest and hug yourself close to his body. his pecs function as a soft cushion for your head— a warmth you don’t ever wish to lose.
“. . you’re too sweet,” satoru sighs. his arms wrap around your torso and he squeezes you tightly, yearning to hold you as close to him as he possibly could. his heart beats loudly in his chest and he’s sure you’ve heard it. he then kisses the top of your head and exhales through his nose.
“you’re killing me, babe,” your small giggles as you jokingly complain about the lack of air in your lungs make him feel an incredible amount of joy. a certain joy he only experiences with you.
to your surprise, satoru rolls you over onto your back. his hands are on either side of your head, fingers curling around the silky material of the pillowcases. his eyes glisten with a deep sense of passion that he wishes to convey.
your lover captures your lips in a tender kiss, his white locks brushing against your forehead. “mhh— god,” satoru murmurs against your bottom lip after gently taking it between his teeth. his breath hitches when your fingers tangle in his hairs, “what did i ever do to deserve you, sweets?”
after a couple seconds, he pulls away. he’s breathless and so are you. “so much. you did and still do so much. hell, you deserve even more than this,” you reply without missing a beat. you want him to know that you appreciate him for who he is and what he’s done for you— for the world.
you shake your head and pull satoru down for another kiss.
his eyes widen and he swears that he can feel tingles spread through his nose. it’s that sensation which happens before the tears well up in his eyes. satoru isn’t one to cry so easily, thus he decides his best to hold back his emotions.
your lover shuts his eyes tightly to stop the tears from forming and holds onto you like you’re his lifeline. he feels so alive, so appreciated— he feels like he actually matters.
and he does. he matters to you. not because he’s the strongest and not because he possesses great power which others benefit from. but simply because he’s . . . himself.
satoru’s lips detach from yours. again, due to your body’s need for air. if it wasn’t for that, he’d kiss you forever. he rests his forehead against yours, his breath coming out in short and quick pants.
your half-lidded eyes look up at his as well. your fingers run up and down his nape while you lovingly stare at each other. a small smile tugs at your lips the moment you feel his mouth connects to yours again a final time.
satoru finally opens his eyes, his face hovering above yours. you’re left stunned by the sight of him like this; vulnerable, defenceless, honest and just pure. you adore it whenever he drops his over confident, playful and cocky side of his personality to make way for his inner self.
“. . you’re important to me too. very,” satoru responds to your earlier words, his voice gentle and sincere. he flashes you a subtle yet soft smile, his blue eyes glistening with tears that disappear as quickly as they appeared.
he lowers his head and rests it next to yours before taking in a deep breath, his mouth next to your ear as he whispers one more request;
“please don’t ever stop loving me.”
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk fanfic#gojo fanfic#jjk ff#gojo ff#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader
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Holy shit I hate feeling this way
#sunny speaks#vent#my anxiety has been so bad lately#I feel horrible all the time#like I want to rip myself apart#everything is overwhelming#thinking about my future is overwhelming#going outside is overwhelming#I’ve legitimately forgotten how to talk to people#it’s become so hard now#and now I think everyone hates me#at work anyway#because I’m acting different and weird now#and it’s so hard to explain because I don’t want people to worry about me#but I know if I don’t they’ll just think I hate them#when I’m reality I don’t#I just want to be normal#I want to go back to how I was before#even last year was better#it was still shit#but it was considerably less shitty than now
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