#I don’t wanna finish this essay pls

[v--143]

I’m so incredibly exhausted.. I have not had a rest since 6:30am today and it’s almost midnight (*´ー｀*) I need u guys to just appear here with me just out of thin air immediately so we can all cuddle and do other stuff but I cannot type out the word <333

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[celestie0]

i’m kind of obsessed with kickoff reader. i wanna know more about her. aside from films, what are her hobbies? does she bake? does she like to cook? what inspired her to pursue film? did she used to make silly little films when she was younger? (and if yes, is it uploaded to an obscure corner of youtube where only Gojo can find one fateful night and never stopped making fun of her for it?)

- maybe i am kickoff Gojo

omg 👁️ kickoff gojo what r u doin here…u r not alowed out of ur cage go back to google docs

thanks for being interested in readerrr :””) oof aside from films n the photog i think she is DEF a HUGE baker n tbh i can see her having a side hustle of being like a food content creator or something where she makes aesthetic baking vids bc she’s got that film background 😭 maybe she has a secret instagram accnt that’s actually very popular 👀…..but she’s too shy to share 🤣

i think she knows how to cook 🤔 she’s not like pro level chef or anything, but she isn’t surviving off instant ramen either haha. most days of the week she just pulls stuff together w whatever her n mina have in the fridge but then every other friday she’ll go all out n make pasta from scratch or sear some lobster or sumn hahah. she is perfectly mediocre at cooking. and although she is known to be a bit more tomboyish w her style, she loves to wear a cute apron every now n then (｡･ω･｡)

omg inspiration for film is a greaaatttt question!!! i kinda want to explore that in main storyline now!!! i think when she was younger, she was a bit more of a quiet kid and was always the english teachers’ fave student bc she was really emotionally intelligent n had great vocabulary and in general a great eye for art n literature, so that academic praise kinda got her into writing stories n watching films, she studied a lot of old hollywood classics n from there she became really interested in film as a whole. i think it became a form of expression for her, since she had kind of a whacky childhood (will uncover more of this in later chaps) i like to think before she applied to college, she wanted to be an english major n become an english teacher but she knew deep down that film was what she really wanted to do and even though her family was reluctant, she went ahead n applied as a film major anyway (btw utokyo is hard to get into for film bc they only have a few spots for their program which is one of the best in the nation so i think she did well for herself :) it’s also why she wants to get into utokyo’s film masters specifically!!)

PLS THE OLD SILLY FILMS IS 100% ACCURATE i mean she has her short films on youtube now n they’ve done decent w views but yea i can see her having older videos that are parodies or i imagine she made a horror film when she was in middle school n looking back on it now it’s so corny n not scary at all 💀🤣 gojo would 100% tease tf outta her for that HAHAHAHA

DAMN I WROTE AN ESSAY IM SORRY i just don’t get many questions ab reader so i indulged a little bit haha tysm bb for the ask!!! (🤨 unless u rly are kickoff gojo, then in that case GET BACK TO CH10 I NEEDTO FINISH EDITING YOU)

[lukewarmsoapytoast]

UGH the URGE to just spam this acc with angst writing is INSANE. Sadly, I haven’t written a full-length read in a while, I’ve had college classes in the mornings and I get busy in the afternoons. So, my point is, HERE’S SOME QUOTES I CAME UP WITH OR WANT TO USE‼️‼️

Please only reuse w/ credit!

Most of these taken from irl because it was funny 😭

LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT QUOTES AND SUCH IN!!!

Quotes

•

"Of course you do, and you’re going to regret those bad decisions in the morning when you’re sober."

“What morning?”

•

“You ignore my requests like they’re food allergies at a foreign restaurant and you wonder why I wanna hang out with girls more.”

•

“I wish I could love you, too.”

•

“It’s because I’m in love with you.”

“Because you wha—oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

•

"Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. But you can't laugh, okay? Promise me you’ll listen without judgment."

“I mean unless you say that you managed to kill a god, I won’t laugh.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

•

“My love…You— You know there isn’t any recovering from this, the medics won’t arrive in time, I-I’ll die. I deserve to be made fun of for being that stupid, but I don’t regret my choice…saving you was my goal overall in life, my purpose, and I succeeded..I can die happy, but you need to let me go, first.”

•

“And how am I supposed to believe you, huh? You wanna bring that fucking whore in to confirm that you still love me? That you regret fucking her over and over, and over, repeatedly, on our own damn bed??”

“[First Name], I—”

“It’s [Last Name] now, that’s what you’ll be referring to me as. No more pet names, no more first name. Goodbye, find somebody else to manipulate.”

•

“Dude, you literally shot me.”

“I was beat as a child, do you hate me, do you want me dead, I know you do, I understand—”

•

“I have a penis and it isn’t mine. ☺️”

“Uhh, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Where r u rn??”

“I’m w ur mom”

“Bruh”

“The party you told me not to go to.”

“Omw.”

•

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

“😈”

“Uh oh? Please tell me you haven’t written an essay about this already and I happened to send that around the time you finished it.”

“I think I'd have the ability to persuade people. It's nothing special but imagine how much success you could end up having and also how many people you could befriend. I like having friends. ALSO you can stop any wars with just a "Stop pretty pls 🥺👉👈" like it's the best superpower. You could save the world with it basically, screw pollution”

“Dear god, keep going. I’m interested.”

“People who wanna fly are confusing, like, go skydiving or something like that, pull a hiccup from HTTYD. And why obtain invisibility when you can just tell people you aren’t there?”

“Wait, you’ve got a point.”

“Somebody asking why we’re stalking them? Hit them with the ‘NUH UH! I’M NOT EVEN HERE, BABY! I’M A HALLUCINATION!’. That’ll win.”

“Oh my god you’re onto something.”

“Someone trying to end the world? Nope. ‘Pretty pls be a good person 🥺’ them.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since you asked.”

“YOU THOUGHT THAT UP THAT QUICKLY???”

•

"What if he thinks I'm being dense?"

"Then he'll stop liking you. Problem solved."

Ideas

•

When they're constantly assuring as they lay dying, "I'm fine, I'll be okay, don't worry about me, l'll live." But their final words, whispered, barely audible,

"I don't want to die."

•

“I’ll be there for you”, “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, over and over again. “don’t hurt yourself”, “We need a break”, “I need you”, All of this, but you never mean it. Never. Not when I need you, your mistakes are a record on loop, your love is as present as my father. You don’t care if I hurt myself, especially because you hurt me. Can this break last forever? You need me to do as you say, you don’t need me there.

•

If HS!Gojo had a crush he’d confess like this:

(Texting)

“Let’s go on a date, do you like sex? Lol. <3”

•

Chr picks up a completely dry and closed jar of salsa.

“Salsaaaa…”

Something drips on their toe.

“Is…Is it wet?”

Frantically checking the jar for water droplets or cracks. Nothing.

“Excuse me???”

Confused.

“WHY???”

Concerned.

•

Father telling small adopted demon child to stay behind while they search for a plushie.

"Perhaps you should stay here, honey. This is no place for a child anyways. I'm sure we don't want you getting kidnapped by some kind of murderer, do we?"

"👹" Foaming at the mouth.

"Dear god, what have I done?"

•

Two characters arguing in a group chat over who’s hotter and it turns into an argument over who would be a better boyfriend to you. This is how you make your grand entrance.

“What did I just stumble upon at this very unfortunate hour. I wish to die.”

[zeltqz]

Hi Niya, I saw you want to rewrite all your works but WHY.

I understand you don’t write anymore like that, but it’s so beautiful to see how an artist can grow even if they’re already good at what they do. It’s like if I erase all my old drawings to draw a better one on top of it.

Pls pls don’t erase your works, you can rewrite if you want but don’t erase it.

They are your milestone in a certain way, I think you need to create new ones to build your essence as an artist.

Of course I will ALWAYS support you, no matter what!!!!

Luv u

I dont write anymore cuz im too hyperfixated on my old works being horrible LMFAO its a me thing, it happens with school and work and now this too i hate it 😭😭😭

everytime im close to finishing an essay or some shit i just wanna delete and rewrite it again and again till im satisfied and its caused me to miss out a lot of deadlines and stuff

and when i write i just think of my old works and everything i hate about it and just wanna delete it and redo it to be better

but this comment is so sweet and made me see a different perspective :((( i wont delete anything dont worry i wont make that same mistake last time im just concerned that if i start going on a fucking rampage and rewriting everything then my page will look a HOT MESS 😭😭😭😭

[lukeevangelista]

are you serious? - jack summers (part 2)

this is part 2 to the first one! i’m not sure how to link the first one so i just copy and pasted the link. if you haven’t read that one, make sure to read it or you’ll be confused lmao

someone pls give me a crash course on how to use this damn app

anyways! don’t forget my requests ARE OPEN!

jack has stormed out not long after the discussion you two had. nothing was solved and neither of you knew where you really stood with the other. well at least jack didn’t.

you knew how you felt and you were tired of being treated like this. it wasn’t that you didn’t love jack, but a person could only take so much.

it had been a couple of days since he had left. your brother and jimmy were coming over soon, giving you time to finish the essay you were working on.

“you should talk to him.” mike said as he sat on your couch after barging in your home, jimmy hot on his heels.

“why?”

“he’s a mess.”

“and that’s my problem?”

“well it’s not just his.”

you huffed crossing your arms, “i’m tired of the excuses mikey.”

mike was your best friend, hands down. i mean, you obviously grew up together, him being your brother and all. he was your protector and he’d do anything to see you happy, even if that meant letting you date his best friend.

well not really because you were going to do whatever you wanted, but that’s besides the point. whether you were going to do it or not, you still wanted mikes approval.

when he committed to michigan, you were the first person he told, not even your parents. not long after he had committed, you did too, just so you didn’t have to be without your big brother.

“maybe you two should end it.” he muttered.

“i don’t want to lose him.”

mike contemplated his next response, “then i’m not sure what to tell you y/n.”

“i didn’t ask for your advice. i asked for your company. when jack decides to be a big boy, we’ll finish the conversation he stormed out on.” you shrugged.

“it’ll all work out.” jimmy stated, trying to be the peace maker and divert the conversation to something else as he turned on your tv.

“once again, didn’t ask.”

“sorry sorry.”

————

hours had turned into days, days had turned into weeks before you had heard anything from jack.

it was saturday night, right after a big win against notre dame, advancing them to the big10 finals. it was even better because this was the first game they had beat notre dame all season.

the boys had thrown a party, celebrating the win, clearly excited.

you sat on the couch with some of the boys girlfriends as you watched them mingle with friends and other student athletes.

“have you talked to him?” victoria, owens girlfriend who was visiting on her spring break, asked. she knew the whole situation as you had spilled everything to her one night at 11pm because the thoughts about everything were just too much. you and her had gotten close since you were also closer with some of the sophomores and freshman, owen being one of them.

“no. he won’t even look at me.” you sighed, swirling your cup of whatever briss had handed you, it still almost being full.

audrey sighed, placing her hand on your arm, “it’ll all work out for the better.”

“i hope so.”

time had passed by and you were still nursing the same drink that bren had given you earlier that night. you didn’t feel like being anything but sober, in case something happened.

“uh y/n you might wanna come here.” ethan found you, “nick sent me to grab you. it’s jack.”

your ears perked up at the sound of ethan’s voice and his name. thoughts were running through your mind, a hundred miles a hour about what could be going on.

“he’s hurt.”

“are you serious?” you practically jumped off the couch, your eyes widening. you could hear the hush whispers from the girls as you followed ethan upstairs where jack was sitting on his bed, a couple of the boys surrounding him.

“holy shit, what happened to you?” you asked, speed walking over to him, your hand immediately going to his face. he winced at the contact before snuggling his face into your hand.

“dumbass here got in a fight.” one of the boys piped up.

“it was worth it.” jack muttered.

“was it now? you’ve got a busted lip and your eyebrow is split.” you started as you were checking the damage, “we should really get something on th-“ you were cut off by jack.

“why do you care? we haven’t talked in weeks.” he whispered. the boys that were still in the room took that as their cue to exit.

“just because we haven’t spoken in a bit doesn’t mean i stopped caring or loving you summers.” you mumbled, your eyes meeting his, “i’m just tired of all the excuses.”

“i’m sorry.”

“i know you are.”

you could hear the sincerity in his voice as he spoke. you truly believed he was sorry, about everything and the way it was handled.

“one shot jack.” you started, “you’ve got one more chance. blow it and we’re done.” you softly smiled.

he grinned, pressing his lips all over your face, “thank you thank you.” he let out a breath of air that he had been holding.

“stop!” you laughed, grabbing his hand and leading him towards his bathroom, “you’re cut! let’s get you cleaned up.”

you soaked a cotton ball in peroxide before pointing to the toilet to get him to sit down. he did as you ‘asked’. you walked over to him, standing between his legs, his hands immediately going to your hips.

“what was the fight about?” you finally asked, the curiosity getting the better of you as you dabbed the cotton ball on his wounds.

“don’t worry about that.” he winced. you sat the cotton ball down on the counter, taking his face in your hands.

“clearly it was something. this isn’t like you.” you said, running your thumb over his cheekbone.

“some dude was just talking shit about you and our relationship.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“it doesn’t matter.” you softly smiled, “i love you.”

“i love you more.” he spoke, pulling your head down to meet his lips, “so much more.”

[ayamturd]

enough│dream team

summary: y/n is overwhelmed and hits a breaking point. luckily, her boys are always there for her.

warnings: angst to fluff, light cursing

pairing: real-life platonic!dream team

a/n: was trying to write comfort drabble but got carried away, oops— pls feel free to comment or give feedback!

wc: (1.4k) - m.list

Falling face-first onto the safe haven of your couch, you felt as if you could cry from exhaustion. 

Today was long, longer than usual. From pulling an all nighter to barely finish the analysis essay you put off to the very last minute, struggling to understand the notes in most (if not all) of your online classes, to the torturous hours at work dealing with difficult coworkers and harsh customers, to say you were emotionally, physically, and mentally drained was an understatement. 

Despite the numerous assignments you knew were waiting to be completed, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The stress of simply worrying about them was already enough to drown your thoughts as you smothered your face into the pillow cushions. Before the raging thoughts could continue to ring though, the discord notification quietly broke the empty space, the phone being previously thrown somewhere on the floor. 

The bright screen blinded you as you brought the phone towards your face and answered the call with blurred eyes. “Hello?”

“Aye, nice to know you’re not dead!” What?

“Sap, what the hell do you want?” The lack of sleep was present in your quip tone. You probably would have apologized upon realizing if you could think straight. 

“Geeez, no need to get all upset. Was just wondering if you were still planning on joining the stream.” 

“Stream? What stream?” As if answering your own question, you pulled the phone away to check the date and sat up in slight panic. Fuck. “Shit! I didn’t realize that was today, I thought it was still Thursday!” 

Sapnap laughed, but it didn’t help calm your nerves at all. “Honestly, you’re fine. We were just wondering what happened since you weren’t answering any of our messages.” You scrolled through the boys’ messages from the past hour asking where you were. 

“Ahh, but still, I’m so sorry. I just got home but let me set up and I’ll be there in the next five minutes or so.” 

“You sure? It’s fine if you don’t wanna, s’just a chill stream while we speed run and shit.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I promised and haven’t hung out with you guys in a while anyway.” Rising slowly from the couch, you stretched with a groan and headed to your bedroom to quickly change into something comfortable. 

“Alright, nice. I’ll tell the guys, see you then.” You hummed a bye and closed your phone. Slipping out of your dirty uniform and putting on something loose, you collapsed into your office chair and turned on your monitors. You weren’t in the greatest mood if you were being honest with yourself, but you would feel bad if you fell through with plans and didn’t want to disappoint anyone. You tried to force down any negative thoughts before entering the call.

“—eorge! What?!” Clay’s signature yell practically made your ears bleed when adjusting the headphones on your head. You were quick to turn down the volume. 

“What are you idiots up to now?” you asked, letting the boys know of your presence.

“Y/n! glad you finally decided to join us!” George remarked. You could hear the stupid grin on his face while loading up the game, and scowled at your screen as if he could see it. “Shut it, Gogy. I was busy and it slipped my mind.”

“Mhmmm, suuure. You totally weren’t ignoring us for the past hour or so.” The cheeky little bitch.

“Hey, just cause the girls you hit up don’t respond doesn’t mean every girl in the world is ignoring you!” 

You could hear Clay wheeze as George and you began your usual bickering. Wanting to entertain their streams, you tried to interact and talk with each of the boys as much as possible, but you felt the high of speaking with friends significantly drop as the night continued on. 

The events of the day and the sensitive thought of meeting expectations and your inability to do so were starting to creep onto you. Even your game play was off as you died the fifth time in a row within the first 3 minutes again; the growing frustration made you tear up and get more angry at yourself. Who sucks at a block game and starts crying about it?

You didn’t realize you had gone silent until Clay called your name. “Yeah, Dream?”

“I ended the stream a few minutes after George and Sap, no need.” Oh. You must’ve spaced out and not noticed. When did George and Sapnap end stream? 

Letting out a sigh, you responded, “my bad Clay, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

George began speaking. “You okay tonight, y/n? It’s been awhile since we last actually talked and you got pretty quiet at the end there. I thought you were afk at first but could hear your keyboard.”

“I’m good, just tired.” You struggled to make a smile, barely convincing yourself as is.

“I don’t know, even when you’re tired, you’re not dead silent and completely zone out.”

“Yeah, what’s up with you today? I know you said you were at work but it’s not like you to forget things completely.”

“Plus you weren’t really fighting back that last argument. I know I’m amazing at Minecraft but I didn’t expect you to—“ You let out a stuttered breath and choked back a sob at their words, the heavy weight of the day finally crashing on you. 

You could hear George try to apologize for something he could have done to upset you and swallowed your silent hiccups to respond. “Don’t, George. Please. Trust me when I say you didn’t do anything wrong.”

The call went silent before Clay spoke up. “Then what is wrong, y/n? You can’t tell us something isn’t bothering you, we just want to help.” Now that opened the floodgates. Your breathing became irregular as more tears came into view. If the boys were talking, you couldn’t hear anything they were saying. You felt awful for forcing them to listen to you cry your emotions out, but Sapnap was quick to softly console you when you pathetically began to repeat broken sorry’s.

Eventually your sobs became sniffs as you calmed yourself while listening to George tell you to breathe in and out. The call became relatively silent once more.

“I’m so sorr—”

“Y/n,” Clay firmly stated, “never say sorry for something that isn’t your fault. You’re okay, okay?” You sniffed and nodded to his words, replying with a soft okay.  

“What’s wrong, y/n?” George was more gentle then before, him trying his best to comfort you in comparison to his joking manner. 

“I— I’m just so tired. Tired of school, t—tired of work, tired of trying to keep up with everything. I feel like I can’t breathe and it hurts. A—and I can’t help but hate myself for not being able to keep up with my own responsibilities and shit. I just, why am I not good enough?” The pause of silence was deafening and you looked desperately at the boys’ icons for an answer before screwing your eyes shut. 

Clay was first to respond. “Y/n, I know that right now everything feels hard and stacked up against you, but please trust me when I say it gets better. I know you said it’s been hard to breathe but you have to let yourself. You shouldn’t hate yourself for not being able to keep up, it’s just a sign you need to step away and give yourself a break. You’re not alone, okay? I’m here, George is here, S—“

“I’m here,” Sapnap interrupted. Clay let out a murmured groan while George scolded him for talking. “Oh, uh, sorry…” You giggled slightly.

“What I’m sure Clay was trying to say before is, you have us to back you up, alright? Struggling to take on your own responsibilities isn’t something to feel alone in, everyone needs support and we’ll always be yours. You are good enough. You’re too good for your own good that you won’t let yourself see it.” They collectively chuckled at George’s words. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

You slowly nodded while still grasping everything they said, a warmth replacing the shuddered breaths as you exhaled. “I do, yeah.” You couldn’t help but feel touched by their attentiveness and genuinely smiled. “Thank you guys, for listening and calming me down. It means a lot.”

“Course, y/n.” Sapnap reassured. “We love you and all that shit.”

“I love you guys and all that shit too.”

[biisexualemma]

unrequited pt.2. peter parker

word count: 3.6k

warnings: anxiety, panic attack? i guess kind of

requested: yea a few people asked for this lol

plot: you haven’t seen peter for weeks and start to worry about him

a/n: i finished re-writing this late last night and i’ll be honest with you i haven’t checked it over so sorry if there are any mistakes but i’m tired sis goodnight! lmk if you like this! pls comment / share!

pt.1 / marvel masterlist / multi-fandom masterlist

"ned... you're so wrong for so many reasons," m.j.'s expression was flat, her eyes rolling before she continued to fight ned on who was really the strongest avenger. you were supposed to be working on a group project for your history class but somehow the topic of the avengers came up and the conversation derailed. ned was making a, somewhat, compelling case for the hulk but m.j. was clearly winning with her argument for wanda.

"nobody even knows the full extent of her powers... and the hulk? what? he's gonna smash some more?"

you sat quietly, chin in the palm of your hand, listening in and out of the conversation. you didn't really feel much like contributing. you would occasionally chime in to support m.j. but mostly you just heard the noise of their bickering and let it happen.

you didn't want to be that person, but your mind was (much to your frustration) completely consumed with thoughts of peter. and at the worst time, you had so many tests coming up, and essay deadlines were also creeping up on you. usually you were on top of this stuff, but your mind was preoccupied almost all the time.

because of peter, who was no where to be seen. in the past few weeks he had stopped showing up to school all together. ned said it was something to do with tony stark but you had a feeling it was more than that. you didn't know how to explain it.

you hadn't spoken to him in a long time now, and you didn't exactly leave things on good terms. it was the longest you'd gone without talking since peter called you a poopy head in the third grade.

you just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. especially since you had no idea what he was getting up to, peter was known to get himself into some messes when he was left to his own devices. and you just knew ned was lying to cover for his best friend but that only made you feel even more out of the loop.

everything felt a bit off without peter around, like something was missing. that, on top of the guilt and worry you were feeling, was turning your head to mush. last time you'd spoken to peter, he was erratic and wounded and desperate. something bad had to have happened for him to be gone this long.

the bell rang, signalling the end of your last period for the day, and the rest of the week seeing as it was a friday. you snapped out of your daze, jolting as your eyes focused back on your surroundings.

"what time did you say again, y/n?" your eyes drifted to m.j. who was collecting her notes on her desk, her eyes meetings yours, waiting for your answer. a crease formed between your eyebrows, you hadn't heard a word of the conversation before right now. m.j. seemed to realise this, rolling her eyes at you with a playful smile. you did this a lot lately, she was getting used to it. "homecoming? what time did you want to meet tonight?"

"oh," you nodded, still sitting at your desk as your classmates hustled around you. "right, homecoming— i— uh—"

"tell me you're still coming," ned interrupted, his eyes wide suddenly, clearly desperate that your answer was anything but no. "c'mon we've had this planned for ages!"

"no— yeah— of course i am," you nodded quickly to reassure him. "yeah— sorry— i just spaced. is seven good for you guys?"

they hummed in response, nodding.

you packed up your books, shoving them into your bag, still in a slight haze with all these thoughts running through your head about peter. you couldn't think about homecoming, it seemed trivial now compared to the worst case scenarios running through your mind. maybe you could try to call peter again? you thought to yourself as you quickly left the classroom, forgetting about m.j. and ned and homecoming, your muscle memory alone leading you to your locker.

you swapped out your books from your bag with the ones you needed to study from for your biology test next week. after slamming the locker door shut, a familiar face was met with yours.

"jesus," you muttered as he stood inches away from your face, your heart racing from the shock. clutching your books to your chest, after nearly having a heart attack, you let out a loud sigh and furrowed your eyebrows. "peter? where the hell have you been?" you regained some of your composure, enough to find some anger in you towards him. he was the last person you were expecting to see today.

"you're ok?" his usual soft brown eyes looked sunken and tired, his hair was scruffier than usual and his lips chapped as they hung open, his eyes scanning over you.

your mouth hung open to speak but he just shook his head as if answering his own question. he gripped your forearm, urging you to walk with him. you dug in your heels, yanking your arm back, wanting him to slow down and explain before you went anywhere with him. "will you just walk," he muttered sharply when you tried to resist him. "please," he softened quickly, his eyes meeting yours.

you frowned, uncomfortably shifting the stack of books in your arms as peter pulled you along behind him hastily. you watched his eyes shifting about the hallway as students weaved around the two of you, his grip not loosening for a second. he was definitely up to something stupid and dangerous that he absolutely should not be involved in.

he'd dragged you all the way out into the parking lot, pulling you aside and away from the crowd of people.

"what's going on? why do you look like— i mean no offence but— you look like crap," you couldn't help but show some level of concern. no matter how complicated your feelings were for him at the moment, he was still your best friend, and he looked like hell. you couldn't stop yourself from staring at him.

"i need you to just— stop talking and listen to me," the look in his eyes made your heart beat a bit faster, your eyes darting between his trying to understand his urgency. "you're not safe—"

"no— i'm fine—" you were never very good at doing what you were told. you glanced down at yourself, perfectly safe and standing in front of him. "see?—"

"no— no you're not," he gulped, his eyes darting away from yours for a split second. "i'm taking you home and you have to stay there. ok? please."

his voice was horse, cracking when he spoke. you didn't understand any of it. peter was the friendly neighbourhood spider-man, what the hell had he gotten himself into that had him this worked up?

you tilted your head slightly, he couldn't think you'd blindly do whatever he said. you needed some answers. "pete," you mumbled, shaking your head with a faint frown. "can't you just tell me what's going on? you're kinda' scaring me."

"i screwed up," his face contorted, his eyes screwing shut for a second and his nose scrunching. you were glued to him, following his mixed expressions trying to understand what was going through his head. he took a deep, shaky breath, running a hand through his hair. "and i know you— you hate me and the last thing you wanna' do is listen to me but i need you to do this for me."

"alright," you said after a moments hesitation. you just wanted him to relax. all your pent up anger and hurt that you'd felt over peter had dissipated quite quickly. you were too occupied with trying to ease some of his stress, and if that meant becoming a homebody for a few days, you would do it. "alright— don't worry. i've been putting off my english essay for a week now anyway, it's about time i cracked down on it."

you tried to ease the tension, act like he wasn't asking much of you. he let out a heavy sigh, looking over at you with those brown eyes. "it's homecoming tonight, i know w—"

"is it?" you feigned forgetfulness, not wanting to make him feel any worse than he already did. you shrugged. "i was never one for socialising anyway."

peter knew you better than that. he knew what he was asking you to give up. "i'm sorry," he took a step closer to you, his hands hovering in front of you, unsure that you wanted him to touch you. "i'm sorry you got dragged into this."

your eyes lingered on his hands before you pulled back up to his stare. you pursed your lips and shrugged. "i'd feel better about it if i knew what i was getting dragged into," you pulled away from your conversation for a second to slip your books into your bag. "walk me home and you can explain everything."

and he did. he told you all about the vulture, the weapons, what really happened during the decathlon trip. all of it. right up to when the vulture figured out his identity— which lead to him finding out about aunt may, about his friends, and about you. he told you about how he'd spent the past few weeks figuring out where the vulture's next major deal was being held, how he'd messed up so bad and how mr stark had taken his suit.

by the time he'd finished, your mouth hung open slightly. you didn't know how he'd been dealing with all of this by himself. spider-man helped old ladies cross the street and returned stolen bicycles, he didn't fight men in bird costumes to stop illegal sales of dangerous advanced weapon tech.

"peter, this sounds pretty dangerous," you spoke up after he told you about his plan to intercept the vulture's airplane heist. "don't you think you should just call happy? or tony? this sounds like iron man territory."

"i can't do that," he sighed. "besides, i already tried happy— he's not taking my calls right now. something about a time out."

you let out a heavy sigh, having taken everything in that he'd told you. you had reached your door, peter standing behind you with his hands stuffed in his pockets. you motioned for him to come in but he hesitated, opening his mouth to decline. "c'mon," you grabbed his arm and tugged gently. "this heist isn't happening 'til late tonight. you can keep me company 'til then."

"maybe, get some rest, too, you really do look like hell," he let you pull him inside, following behind you. he ignored the second dig you had now made about his appearance.

"may must've been pretty mad when she found out you'd been skipping school?" you collapsed onto your bed, crossing your legs over and watching peter perch himself on the edge of your bed. he leaned forward, his hand running over his face with sheer exhaustion.

"you have no idea," he groaned, holding his head up with the palm of his hand now. "i'm pretty much grounded for the rest of the year. and i have to send her a pic' of me sitting in every one of my classes from now on," you nodded, pursing your lips because that sounded about right. "but mainly she was worried."

"well, she wasn't the only one," he glanced at you over his shoulder, his eyes lingering there for a while. you breathed through your nose, looking away from him and down to your hands to give yourself a moment. you'd forgotten how difficult it was to have him look at you like that. "you just took off with no word, peter."

he turned his gaze away from you, focusing on the wall in front of him, his eyes glossy. for weeks that last conversation with you had been sitting at the back of his mind. he knew he'd handled everything in the worse possible way. he tried to protect you, hurt you by doing so, and then had everything he tried to protect you from blow up in his face anyway.

"i haven't been able to think clearly for weeks," you gulped, scared to meet his gaze again, in fear that you might lose your confidence. "i missed you. and i was worried out of my mind about you."

"y/n—" his voice was quiet.

"and i know i was the one who told you to leave. but i was hurt and sad. i'd convinced myself that you felt the same way, and when you—" you closed your eyes for a second, feeling him watching you. you hadn't been able to say any of this out loud for weeks and now it was just spilling out of you. "anyway— i shouldn't've punished you for that. they are my feelings i need to get over. it wasn't your fault and i'm sorry i made it seem like it was."

he shook his head faintly, sniffling slightly, catching your attention. "i screwed up," he shook his head a little harder, pushing himself up off your bed, his back turned to you. "i screwed up so bad," he ran his hand over his face, his thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose. your eyebrows knitted. "it wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

"don't," you shook your head, willing him to stop. "it's not your fault. i shouldn't have—"

he cut you off, turning to face you as he did. "i'm in love with you," his mouth hung open slightly, his eyes now stinging red. "i was in love with you then, and i'm in love with you now. i think i always will be."

your eyebrows unknitted, your mouth opening to speak but nothing came out. you watched his hand tug on the ends of his curls, his eyes locked onto you the entire time, trying to read your expression.

"i was trying to protect you and it went completely wrong—" his breathing was erratic. "i thought you'd be safer if i distanced myself—" the look on his face was breaking your heart. he knew how stupid it all sounded now he explained it out loud. "i screwed everything up— and now you're in more danger than ever— because of me."

"you— you—" your brain was trying to keep up. you shook your head. you had spent the past month telling yourself that everything you thought he'd felt for you wasn't real, that you'd over thought everything he'd ever done for you. you'd been telling yourself for a month to move on. "you didn't screw up, pete. i know you. whatever you did, you did for the right reasons."

the lump in your throat was growing as you tried to keep some kind of composure. it wouldn't do either of you any good to get upset with him when he was worked up like this. he didn't need to be told he'd made a mistake, he was already painfully aware.

"you don't— you—but— i—" he was hyperventilating, completely vulnerable as he fell apart in front of you.

"pete," you mumbled carefully, climbing over to where he was stood, hand in his hair and he pulled on the loose curls, his eyes wide with anxiety and stress. you moved your hands to his, pulling them down to his side and giving them a small squeeze. "calm down," you cooed. "everything will be ok."

you trailed your hands up to his shoulders, giving them a soft squeeze before pulling him into a tight hug. you wrapped your arms 'round his shoulders, one hand moving to the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair. his head ducked, burying into your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist in a desperate grip. his breathing was heavy at first, uneven and jagged as he clung onto you. your heart was beating out of your chest, you were sure he could hear it, but you held onto him as tight as you could, pressing your whole body against his trying to offer him as much comfort as you could.

after a while of standing around, holding each other, peter's breathing began to grow softer and slower. he began to notice the sweet scent lingering on your skin. his lips innocently hovering over the curve of your neck, breath fanning against your skin. you could feel goosebumps growing on your skin, the hair of your arms standing on end.

"better?" you mumbled softly. he gave you a faint nod in response, his lips leaving your skin as he pulled himself back from you. your hand slipped from in between his curls and down to the neck, your thumb brushing over his skin as he looked straight into your eyes. you gulped, eyelids fluttering.

he was a state to behold. his nose was pink, under eyes wet, your eyes trailed down to where his lips parted. he hiccuped a breath. you tried to push away the impulse to kiss him because he was clearly vulnerable. you didn't want him to later regret anything. "thanks," he mumbled breathlessly. "i don't know what happened there."

you pouted your lips, about to reply when peters eyes fluttered down your face, catching you off guard. his eyes lingered and you noticed his head tilting down and nearer, his lips catching onto yours before you could register what was happening. it was soft, gentle and didn't last longer than a couple seconds before you had to force yourself to pull away.

"peter— you're overwhelmed right now so maybe we shouldn—"

your whispers against his lips where cut short, he pressed his lips to yours again. unable to resist now he'd had a taste. his arms tightened around your waist, pulling you back flush against his chest. you swallowed a gasp, feeling his full weight behind the second kiss. his lips pushed against yours a little more desperately this time, you fell back a step, peter's arms where the only thing keeping you upright at this point.

both your hands where either side of his neck, trailing up into his hair where you pulled softly at the roots of his messy curls. he let out a soft moan against your lips, and you stumbled back once more, your thighs hitting your bed.

your hands quickly slipped down to his chest as you gently pried him off you. your head was spinning a little, his lips were plump and pink and the way he looked at you, with pure love and obsession, made you want to kiss him again and again.

"did you mean it?" you muttered breathlessly.

his eyes trailed back up from your lips, his gaze locking with yours again. he noticed the vulnerability and fear in your eyes now that he was paying you his full attention. he felt a wave of guilt hit him, knowing he was the one that put that look there.

"yeah," he hummed. "i did," he said with his chest. "i do. always will," he was breathless.

"you're not just saying it 'cause you've missed me?"

he shook his head quickly, shutting down any traces of doubt in your mind. "i have been in love with you since that summer we took that trip to coney island when you threw up after you ate too much cotton candy."

your scrunched up your nose at the memory. "gross."

he shrugged. "i don't know what to tell you. that's just when i knew."

your lips twitched into a small smile. "you should probably get some rest," you diverted the topic, trying hard not to kiss him again. he looked so tired. he had poured out months worth of anxiety and stress all in the past ten minutes. "you can't chase bad guys if you're half asleep."

he wore a half-hearted smile, his mind clearly flickering back to the task he had to take on later tonight.

"you can crash here if you want," you motioned to your bed.

"y'sure? i don't wanna get you in trouble."

"mom's working late, so you're good. plus she loves you, pete," your hands slipped down to his, giving them a quick squeeze of reassurance.

"sure she'll still love me when she finds out about us?" he quirked an eyebrow, the small smile on his lips was sloped and tired.

"m'sure," you hummed, biting back your growing smile at the word us. you moved him to sit on your bed again, his hands lazily holding yours. his eyelids fluttered as he looked up at you, a small crease forming between his eyebrows again. you could tell his mind was wandering again. "lie down, you need to rest or you're no good to anyone."

he nodded hesitantly and followed your instruction. "i'll sleep better with you next to me."

his voice was soft after you'd turned your back on him to leave him to rest. you rolled your eyes faintly, smile tugging your lips again. "is that right?"

he hummed, his arms outstretched, waiting for you to fall into them. you dragged your feet back over to him, biting the inside of your cheek, the corner of your lip twitching upwards. "there's a scientific reason behind it but my brain's too sleepy to think right now, so you'll have to take my word for it."

his words slurred together, his eyes rolling slightly the longer he forced them open. you just nodded. "alright, spidey, just this once."

"hm," he hummed as you climbed in next to him, his arms wrapping around you and immediately pulling you against his chest. "thanks," he muttered, his lips pressed against the top of your head. "don't know what i'd do without you."

[carnationcreation]

Can i request a meet cute for Reggie of JATP, female reader could be someone who can naturally see/interact/touch ghosts(like a medium?), and she just so happens to notice Reggie at a cafe and he notices she can see him? Rambly idea, I know but, pls and thank you 😅🙏🏼

The Median (JATP Reggie x reader)

Masterlist

Request an imagine here!

Request: Yes!

Prompt/summary:  Reader is a medium and she just so happens to notice Reggie at a cafe and he realizes she can see him

Word Count: 1,217

Warnings:  none

Authors note: I literally had an idea like this when I was watching the show today! Since I’m a practicing Pagan I’ve had a few experiences with spirits so that is what I’m going to be basing this off of. Hope you enjoy!

The laptop sitting on the table grew hot as (Y/n) frantically tried to finish the school assignment that was due at noon. The coffee shop was fairly empty for early afternoon, only a few customers at a booth in the back and the baristas up front working on orders as the top 40 countdown played over the speakers. (Y/n) cursed as she saw the battery drop down to 15%, she looked around and under her table to try and find an outlet to plug her macbook into but sighed as she stood up to continue the search.

She felt the crystal on her neck shift and the energy in the room chill slightly. This didn’t happen often for her. Normally this would signal a spirit trying to communicate with her but those mostly happen in her house, not a coffee shop. Surely there wouldn’t be a dead soul here, right?

She saw a boy sitting at a table near the window. His head was in his hands and the sleeves of his black leather jacket blocked her view of his face. She glanced at the bottom of the table and saw the white outline of an outlet peeking out from behind the metal pole of the table.

“Excuse me, do you mine if I sit here to plug in my laptop? I’m almost dead,” she asked sweetly but nervously.

The boy looked up at her confused, he glanced over his shoulder to try and figure out who she was talking to. It wasn’t until he turned back and saw her (Y/c/e)s gazing back into his brown ones that he realized it was him, “You can see me?”

‘Uh, yeah? Or is this one of those things people say to get someone to freak out and leave them alone?” she giggled.

“Umm, I uh- Yeah feel free to sit,” Reggie stumbled.

The girl turned to get her bags when she saw the other customers in the booth look at her with concern in their eyes. The girl closest to her spoke up, “Who are you talking to?”

“Huh?” (y/n) said and turned back to the table, “He’s right-”

A brief flicker of light cut her off, it’s something so subtle most people would miss. She knew exactly what it was.

“Oh, guess he’s gone now,” she tried to play it off cool but the embarrassment of the moment made her want to beat her head with her laptop. They must think she’s crazy. She quickly grabbed her bag and dragged her laptop and charger back over to the table.

“You’re dead aren’t you?” she said quietly as she opened her laptop, trying her best not to be heard from the booth.

“How did you know? And how can you see me?” he said.

“I’m a medium, I talk to spirits all the time.”

“A median?” he asked.

“No,” she huffed, “a medium!”

“I’ll stick with median,” he said as he leaned back in his chair.

The girl rolled her eyes, “I should’ve known when I first looked at you. Your aura is all out of whack. I normally can read people's aura like the back of my hand, and for some reason yours just isn’t showing.”

“What’s an aura?” his face scrunched up in confusion. 

“Think of it like someone’s spiritual fingerprint. I see colors around people and it tells me something about them,” (Y/n) tried to explain.

“Oh sweet,” he said. He stared at the girl in front of him. Her (Y/h/c) framed her face perfectly, her hands moved swiftly across the keyboard. She hadn’t looked up at him since she sat down, mostly to keep anyone else from staring at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was, but he was just so glad someone other than Julie could see him.

“I’m Reggie,” he said, sticking his hand out.

“I’m (Y/n), and my hand wouldn’t grab anything so you can drop yours,” she giggled.

“Oh, right,” Reggie laughed nervously, “so what are you working on?”

“Just an essay for my music appreciation class,” she shrugged.

“You like music?” he asked.

“I like it, not a complete music nerd but I can strum a guitar and I know basic piano.”

“Cool,” Reggie smiled.

“What about you?”

Reggie sighed, “Well when I was alive I was in a band with my friends. We all died the same night.”

“Oh that sucks. When did you die?” she said. Her typing slowed down as she got more interested in the conversation.

“1995, then me and my friends were stuck in some weird black room for 25 years.”

(Y/n) looked up and furrowed her brow before beginning to type again, “Oh you were in purgatory.”

“Per-what now?”

(Y/n) giggled, “Purgatory, it’s mostly a catholic thing but most spirits I talk to confirm it. It’s just a place spirits go when they either don’t cross over immediately or haven’t found their unfinished business.”

“Oh Alex told me about that!” he smiled.

“What’s yours, do you know?” 

“I don’t, probably has something to do with music though. Watch this!” he said. He thought about his bass and it immediately popped into his hands. The girl jumped and looked at him questioningly.

“Pick up my pen,” she said slowly.

Reggie put away his bass and leaned forward, he reached towards the pen but when he got close to touching it his hand passed through the pen, table, and he fell forward slightly. The motion caused (Y/n)’s drink to spill some over her notepad and she jumped to grab napkins out of the dispenser.

“Sorry sorry sorry!” Reggie said as he sat up and raised his hands up.

(Y/n) only laughed lightly. Her eyes flickered over the rest of the cafe. The big booth table had left and it was only them and the baristas left in the store. The cashier giggled slightly at the mess, thinking the girl bumped her own cup.

“So you can pick up your instruments but not objects?” She said. She leaned her face on her hand and used the other to scroll through Tumblr on her laptop.

“Sometimes if we focus really really hard, but it feels tiring.”

“That gets better the longer you're in between, I’ve met spirits that have been here for centuries and they can open doors and turn on radios and stuff,” the girl shrugged.

“But it’s weird, if we play instruments people can hear and even see us! And the girl that got us out of, what’s it called? Pur-ga-tory? She can always see us,” he said confused.

“Even when you aren’t in the house?” (Y/n)’s eyes flickered up to his.

“Yes!”

(Y/n)’s eyebrows furrowed again, “Wow that’s really strange.”

Before Reggie could respond he heard the door jingle open and Julie stepped in. She found him sitting at the table and slowly walked up.

Reggie looked at the girl in front of him, “(Y/n) this is Julie, she’s the one that got us out of purgatory.”

(Y/n) turned around and stuck her hand out to Julie, the girl looked extremely confused.

“Wait, you can see him?” she said.

“Yes yes we’ve just been through that. I’m a median. He can summon a bass out of nowhere too,” (Y/n) rolled her eyes.

Reggie interrupted, “Hey (Y/n) the median, you wanna come to band practice?

[dreamsclock]

I’m gonna cry how is this essay not done yet D: i don’t understand pls let me finish it i’m so tired but i wanna write so bad plss

(do not reblog!)

[bangchanswolfpelt]

*slides into ur inbox with a suspicious briefcase*

heyiiiiii it's honey anon!!! how've you been??

*briefcase rattles ominously*

what's in the case? oh, nothing!

*clasp on briefcase comes undone*

hahahahaha nooooo i told swoony i wouldn't try to get them into any other groups ofc not i-

*trips over my feet and drops the briefcase, links spill out*

[link]

hahaha!! this is a mistake i-

[link] [link] [link]

i'm holding these for a friend i promise pls i-

[link] [link]

NO I SWEAR-

*i trip again and my Fat Fucking Tits break the case in half*

[folder entitled "pretty kpop idols] [half-finished fics] [weirdly detailed analysis of svt's group dynamics] [extremely specific gifs of we lost the summer yeonjun]

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

(xoxo honey 🍯 )

i nearly choked, @tmrwxtg sent me that first link like a week ago and i'm still having a hard time processing that anyone does anything in this video that isn't

Sunwoo crop top car wash porn parody

who told him this was an audition for Cocky Boyz Wet’n’Wild Vol. 4????

*California Gurls playing over your sun-soaked softcore sex dreams*

SIR THIS IS A SONIC

goddamn Woosung has been creeping up on me and i didn't even realize until now 💀 i thought his voice was like. fine listening to California West Side, like. it’s fun it gets the job done, i’m mostly here for Big Matthew anyways, but. then you dropped this and oh no he has a very pretty voice 🥺

love that we got Woodz doing a relay dance as a soloist—i like his sense of style, but LOVE that he kinda just looks like Some Dude surrounded by his backup dancers 😂 i got a lot of catching up to do but like. i’m pretty sure i’m on the Woodz train, we’re here this is. happening 😔

i refuse to look at p1harmony because i googled them and THEIR YOUNGEST IS AN ‘05 BABY WHAT THE FUCK but i will attempt to check out some of their songs💕 (also, told the roomie how baby they were and she was horrified because the only thing either of us actually knows about them is that a brawl broke out at one of their concerts 🥲)

SUNMI 😍😍😍 i don’t have anything funny or insightful to say, i’m just ❤️‍🔥❣️💔❤️‍🩹 when she’s on the screen 😔 (someone who knows more about music and fashion than i do should probably write an essay comparing/contrasting her and Hyuna’s approach to confronting the male gaze/public perception, because i know i don’t have the chops to write it, but i do wanna read it 😤😤😤)

i don’t know enough about ONEWE to have had any expectations but. i certainly wasn’t expecting THAT 😳 i’m. i’ll give it to you, i’m intrigued. 🥴

and HONEY!! you cannot say “svt group dynamics” and think i’m gonna let that slide???? 👀👀👀 drop the analysis on us!!!! the people need them 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

[renidrag]

you're so right, the one thing everyone in generation needs to do is communicate with each other 😭 but what has me on edge is what's going to happen with luz now she's, like, mad with greta bc she doesn't like her. she has the "not yet" that can potentially hurt greta and im actually wondering if she's gonna tell her or if riley will first (which i kind of doubt? since riley seems to be pushing her away from the looks of it in the sneak peek?). Idk!! what are your opinions? i like reading your posts. Thank you alsjhs

thank you for reading! I just think the character dynamics and the acting and the writing are so so good and something I've never really seen done before (also I'm so sorry this got a little bit off track by the time I'd finished writing lmaoooo)

oh I absolutely believe luz is gonna weaponise that info like there is no way they specifically wrote that asshole mini-monologue for her and had her tell riley 'not yet' to not use it when they want to cause even more problems. I think riley's gonna self destruct next episode (callback to Sam in ep 9 'you don't wanna blow yourself up in the process') out of some sort of misguided sense of self loathing - you can see in ep 13 when aquarium pablo turns up she looks so guilty and upset with herself more than anything

when stuff goes wrong for riley she always makes a joke out of it but then turns the rage inward to hurt herself - all the shit with her parents has obviously just taught her that she's the root of everyone's problems. she's so self sacrificing (when she says she's happy for greta and luz and has a photo that she LITERALLY CRIED OVER for their couple photo album??? riley pls be nice to yourself) and finds it so hard to ask for what she needs (she has to force out that she's having a shit time with her parents and needs chester to come inside with her and then we find out that her mum has totally invaded her space and done god knows what with all her belongings to have her weird play room which is funny yes but also like so deeply distressing to me)

god my heart aches for her like up until recently with the GSA kids probably no one has ever really told her that she's worthy of time and love, I don't even know how she's as functional as she is but I guess kids are resilient. I could argue that sometimes riley uses sex as a form of self harm or like a tranquilliser for all her feelings because at least when people are having sex with her she knows they actually want and desire her in some imitation of honesty. but I digress and also it's a show about teenagers so maybe it's not that serious and dark.......idk

I'm not really sure where the end of that episode is going to leave us but then episode 15 according to the plot synopsis is where greta and riley finally have their cards on the table convo about where they stand with each other. I would love the luz thing to come up so it doesn't blow up everything later, but if greta is asexual and says that to riley as one of the reasons she was/is confused about them then I think there's no way riley's going to say 'hey sorry but when you rejected me and accidentally called me a slut I went and found someone who would actually fuck me to make myself feel better and that happens to be luz lol'. it's going to be so much worse that she didn't just go off and have sex with some random guy but she had her first sexual experience with a girl that wasn't greta like they're somehow interchangeable (obviously not but that's how it would feel I think)

the last episode I'm thinking riley and greta will be maybe like circling each other with ~meaningful~ eye contact and stuff like they always do which would hopefully finally culminate in one good honest mitski kiss where they actually know how intensely they feel about each other. there's footage of marisela and chase rehearsing a scene for the finale that definitely looks confrontational and given that I'm like 75% sure that luz will either tell greta or threaten to tell greta just to be the asshole she's promised to be. I hope greta understands riley enough at that point to know it wasn't personal but it's gonna be bad and painful whenever it happens

tl;dr for this unhinged essay: I agree with you that I think riley won't do it herself, luz will either have to do it or coerce riley into doing it which will make everything a disaster and I hope that it won't ruin it forever but I am SCARED

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is the Captain's playlist:

Moonlight Serenade - Glenn Miller

This is one of my favourite like old WWII style songs, I just think it’s beautiful and really great to dance slow to (at some point in my life I will dance with my husband or wife to this song in our little kitchen, and then my life will finally be complete). It’s in Doctor Who (in The Empty Child) and Jack and Rose dance to it in front of Big Ben, like it’s a really great scene in one of the best episodes of Dr Who ever. So good and a great WWII song.

Soldier - Trixie Mattel

Yes, I know this is about Katya’s issues and everything that happened with that but like it is also like very accurate to the Captain’s arc. Like “soldier, take your time” is like yeah?? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe the Captain is even remotely aware of the fact he’s gay cause like I don’t reckon he understands love or the fact that he’s got feelings like that, I don’t think he knows so yeah take your time to figure it out yeah, Captain.

We’ll Meet Again - Vera Lynn

This song seems to have taken a new meaning in pandemic times but Havers leaving Button House and (I assume) never returning but like the Captain staying at Button House completely in the dark as to what happened to Havers and therefore living with the possibility of Havers returning.

HEAVEN - Troye Sivan & Betty Who

Obviousssss, but this song was such an integral part in me figuring shit out about my life. Like, I was 14 and a massive Troye fan when it came out and (growing up in a working class, strict religious, small town family) the music video was literally my first understanding of the fight for queer rights. I knew about LGBTQ+ identities and identified as a variety of queer labels at the time I was completely unaware of the entire struggle that had come before me and seeing photos and footage of this fight for the first time was O.o Anyway, I'll stop talking about myself and say that I’m incredibly happy with the hc of the Captain trying to learn a bit more about queer history in his journey to accept himself.

In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars

The poor Captain, let the man love I beg. I have so much love for stories and hcs of the Captain being sweet and being in love like pls ily.

Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

This might actually kill his gay little soul but by good it would be worth it!! I’m gonna go off on a bit of a philosophy tangent but what were ya expecting from me honestly: the sample used in Achilles Come Down is an extract from a 1942 essay by Albert Camus who, alongside Kierkegaard and Nietzsche and the like, wrote about the concept of ‘the absurd’ which is a tricky concept but a reallyyyyyy simplified version of it is basically the idea that humans constantly search for a meaning and purpose for life and the universe but the universe does not provide answers to that which causes human distress. Basically, what I mean to say like isn’t that concept just so Captain?? Like he searches for meaning in war and can’t see life beyond the war because that provides him purpose, you know?? But yeah, it’s a banging song and I’m sorry about the tangent.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

Ya saw this one coming :P Well he just is a good old fashioned lover boy so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

William, It Was Really Nothing - The Sm*ths

Even just the name being right is like *chefs kiss*. Yes there are lines in this song that are just shit and reallyyyyyyy show the views of M*rrisey and his general shitty behaviours.

It’s a Long Way to Tipperary - John McCormack

It’s just a fun song.

You’re Somebody Else - flora cash

LGBTQ+ staple really, ik it’s about being trans but I wanted to include it because of the recent Ben Willbond interview when he talks about how he’s interested in the contrast of a confused authoritative figure. Like the Captain is such a contrast and I love that in characters.

It’s Been a Long, Long Time - Harry James

Like I’ve said repeatedly, I wanted at least a little bit of time specific music for each of them I could. So yeah there’s a few for the Captain, WWII music is such a vibe tbh.

The Boxer - Simon & Garfunkel

I’ve always interpreted the song as being about loneliness and well, Captain my boy that you. Like he’s literally surrounded by people 24/7 but is so very alone. When the others are all watching tv in Redding Weddy and the Captain is just sat in the window watching for Havers is just so pretty and I think it’s really telling of the relationship he has with the others.

The Arrow and the Aim - Nadia Reid

Pretty pretty song, the voice is *mwah* but that’s irrelevant.

Ramblings of a Lunatic - Bears In Trees

Okay but like yes. The Captain is so alone like despite being around people literally all the time - not being able to escape you might say. Is he aware he’s different? Like what goes on in his head, will we ever know?? Cap, you gotta start talking to people, man. You gotta open up cause you will go crazy, Ik it’s been 70 years fella but seriously you’re gonna go crazy soon.

Death with Dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Just a beautiful song, and yeah with the Captian being the way he is and so focused on the war and military and the idea of "death with dignity" is pretty prolific. Given that we're fairly sure the Captain never saw any action, would he be considered to have died with dignity?? Maybe, maybe not idk.

I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General - Arthur Sullivan & John Reed

That one scene where Alison is trying to sleep and the Captain is just sat beside her bed singing this. Like that’s so funny XD It’s his little head bob as he sings like that’s so good.

Kiss Me Goodnight, Sergeant Major - Arthur Askey

I remember my nan had an Askey record and she used to play it all the time and this always made me laugh cause 5 year old me couldn’t get the image of a really strong and tough soldier being all motherly and yeah I just wanted to include it :D

Teddy Boy - Paul McCartney

The Captain’s name is Teddy, I take no debate on this. Just the idea of the Captain’s backstory, like a childhood backstory for the Captain genuinely makes me cry. I know a lot of people have shared their stories of their interpretation of the Captain’s childhood and they’re all sad and I love them all :’) (Specifically a big fan of Operation Keep Calm on AO3 and what they’ve done with the Captain’s character and story, 10/10 would recommend but it’s not finished and I really hope it is at some point ily).

O Captain! My Captain! - The Static Shift

Just an interesting song, yeah? “I believe I’m in my prime”/“In my bally prime”, you get it XD

John My Beloved - Sufjan Stevens

I love this song (no I’ve never seen the film and no don’t really intend to) It’s just sweet, you know, and the religious elements etc yeah that’s good.

[sophiewritesworld]

Don’t mess with her boyfriend | Montgomery de la Cruz

Requested by anon (a while ago) : You & your blog are both amazing I have so much love❤️ could u pretty pls do a Monty x reader, her ex comes back to Liberty and approaches her trying to get back together totally ignoring Monty’s presence, obviously Monty gets annoyed and tells him to get lost, her ex starts dissing Monty.. let’s just say she’s a feisty one and nobody messes with her baby EVER, so she starts defending him and maybe even throws in a slap lol but that’s your call to make.. xx

Word count : 1.1k words.

 As you walked inside the crowded hall of Liberty, you felt some students weirdly stare at you but you just ignored it and walked over to your locker to get your books out for the day. You had a lot to do this week including convincing your parents to let you go to Jessica’s party on Friday. You were so deep in your thoughts until somebody pulled you out of them.  “Hey babygirl” You smiled and leaned back until your back gently collided with your boyfriend’s chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “I missed you.” He whispered to your ear before kissing your cheek. You turned around, grabbing the front of his shirt to steady yourself and kissed him, soft and slow. 

“De la Cruz, (Y/L/N), lay it off!” Kevin Porter shouted from across the hall, dragging the attention of most students around on you. Nothing unusual. 

“I missed you too.” You whispered against his lips before moving away to close your locker. By the time you turned around, your eyes landed on somebody who shouldn’t have been in Liberty. “You have to be kidding me…” 

“And that’s what I wanted to tell you.” Montgomery sighed. 

Your mood went from extremely happy, even though nobody is extremely happy on a Monday morning, to extremely angry within the matter of seconds. Standing a few feet away from you, with the rest of the jocks, was your ex boyfriend, the person you hated the most on earth, Noah. 

Jessica introduced you to Noah at a party over the summer before sophomore year. It didn’t take long before you started dating. You spent the whole summer together. And you did that terrible mistake of trusting him and giving yourself to him. You were in love. Or so you thought. By the end of summer, Noah moved across the country with his parents. A decision he knew about for months but never told you about. You got the news on the first day of school when Zach and Justin asked you about how you were going to manage a long distance relationship. It didn’t hit you right away. It hit you when you saw a new guy on the field with Noah’s number. It hit you when you texted him and he simply told you that he didn’t think it was that big of a deal to tell you. It hit you when everybody at school was talking about you. You went through the first half of sophomore year secluding yourself in the Library, studying and keeping yourself from seeing anybody. You were ashamed of how naive you were to trust Noah like that.

One day, while you were busy finishing your Spanish paper, Montgomery pulled the chair next to yours and loudly crashed on it. “Shhhhh!” Someone angrily looked at him.

“The fuck you want nerd?”

He was about to stand up and fight that innocent soul for hushing him that way when you grabbed him hand to stop him. “Don’t.” And he didn’t. He just glared at the young boy and looked at you. You didn’t even stop what you were doing. “What are you doing here? I’ve never seen set a foot in here before.”

“Wanted the test the ambiance.”

You chuckled shaking your head. “What do you think about it so far?”

“Sucks.”

“And how about you tell me the real reason why you’re here?”

“I got an essay to finish.”

“Liar.”

“I am worried about you.” Your head shot up in surprise. His signature smirk was replaced by a rather concernes expression. “You never leave this place unless you go home or to class.” At least in the school library nobody judged you, too busy studying. 

“I wanna pass. Is there a problem with this?”

“You’re a straight A student, you don’t need to put efforts to get the highest grades.”

“Maybe I do now.”

“Liar.” 

“Get out if you have so much to tell each other. People are trying to study here.” Another student loudly whispered to you.   

And you got out. You didn’t need people to notice you there. Montgomery followed you until you suddenly stopped and turned around to face him. “I am fine Monty.”

“Are you gonna keep lying to my face like that all day?”

“People keep talking about me, Monty. I hear them.” You sighed. “All the time and trust me, they’re not gonna drop the hottest tea in town so easily.”

“Let’s give them another one.”

“What?” The bell started ringing right at that moment and students were rushing out of class, filling the once empty hall you were standing in. At that exact moment, when some of them spotted you probably for the first time in days -or weeks-, Montgomery did something unexpected. He quickly closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours in a gentle and slow kiss. It took you one second to realize Montgomery was kissing you and another second to realize you were kissing him back. That was it. That was right. And that was nearly two years ago.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” You asked your boyfriend without looking away from Noah’s tall figure that could be spotted from miles away. Your blood was boiling inside of you.

Before Montgomery could say anything to try and calm you down, Noah saw you and walked over to you. “Hey baby, missed me?” His hand went to touch your cheek but you stepped back avoiding it. “Come on, I know you did.”

“How about you leave my girlfriend alone Carter?” Montgomery came to stand between the two of you. 

“You replaced me with this poor latinx (Y/N/N)? You know you can do better.” He was completely ignoring Montgomery’s words and pushed him to the side to get closer to you. “We can start over beautiful.”

“Fuck off, Carter.” A crowd was slowly forming aroun the three of you and the boys came right away to hold Montgomery back. But he wasn’t the one who needed to be held back. 

Noah looked at Montgomery who was trying to free himself from Jeff’s hold and chuckled. ’“Look at this attack dog, he can’t do anything but get into fights. What kind of future do you think he can give you?” 

No one had the time to make a move that your knee collided with his crotch and as he bent down in pain, your forehead violently collided with his nose, making him fall in pain, blood flooding out of his nose. “Wanna say that again asshole?”

Next thing you knew, you were sitting in front of the honor board under the very disappointed gaze of Mr Porter. You didn’t speak, holding the icepack the school nurse gave you against your forehead on which a bump and a bruise were forming while Noah was sitting on the chair next to yours, blood still dripping out of his nose and on his white t-shirt. It didn’t take long for the honor board to come to the conclusion that you were the one to be blamed for everything and got you suspended for two days. 

[craftypeaceturtle]

Distanced, part 1

Summary: A group chat fic! How shall these useless students cope with daily life.

Note: This is my first attempt at anything even remotely like this! I have no idea how this will turn out so feedback is greatly appreciated! Intrulogical. 

Next part here!!

.

MESSAGES: To Remus Prince (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:15

Hello. This is Logan Sanders from Prof. Smith’s seminar. Do you have any suggestions for how we should go about completing the upcoming assessment?

Remus Prince: who dis

I literally just stated it. Logan Sanders.

I wear the tie.

Remus Prince: OHHH

Remus Prince: Well 1stly

Remus Prince: What’s the best planet in the solar system?

Pardon?

Remus Prince: i LitERaLlY JuSt stAtED iT

That has nothing to do with anything, we just need to get through this project.

Remus Prince: if u want to work then u have to answer

Jupiter. 

Remus Prince: cool.

Remus Prince: You’ll do.

Remus Prince: My name is Remus.

I know. We did actually swap phone numbers. We in fact discussed which topic we would be doing for over fifteen minutes in the seminar. So we have indeed met. If you continue to be obnoxious then this will be a easier project. 

.

MESSAGES: To Remus Sanders (Presentation)

Tuesday, 16:22

Why did you ask that question?

 Remus Prince: I asked my brother that question and he answered earth

Remus Prince: I’ve had trust issues ever since

Roman’s favourite planet is Earth? 

 Remus Prince: HAH

Remus Prince: ye he’s an idiot

Remus Prince: I’ve gotta test everyone now.

Remus Prince: You passed btw

Remus Prince: WAIT!

Remus Prince: Do u know Ro?

Yes, he is my friend and roommate. 

Remus Prince: What was ur name again????????

You can literally scroll up and reread it. I refuse. You got into university for a reason and so you can manage my name.

Remus Prince: jk

Okay then. Do you want to discuss how we should go about creating this powerpoint?

Remus Prince: what’s there to ‘discuss’?

We can separately conduct our research however it is regrettably better to meet up in person to practise not only giving the presentation but also the construction of the presentation itself.

Remus Prince: man you just love sending essays huh

I have written out longer messages. I don’t understand the point of sending a sentence at a time and risk getting interrupted. Plus at least my texting doesn’t seem all like an assault of constant notifications. 

Remus Prince: fair

Shall we say that we should aim to get our presentation research finished by two weeks (15th). That leaves us another two weeks to construct the powerpoint, gather more research if necessary, then practise presenting. 

Remus Prince: k

GROUPCHAT: Goths, Emos, and Remus

Tuesday, 16:26

Octopussy: can I vent for a sec

Octopussy: So! I’m just sitting here. Y’know. Vibing. 

Octopussy: Then out of nowhere the nerd from my class starts messaging me about the group project that’s due a month away

Octopussy: like wtf

Octopussy: nice to know the nerd thing isn’t just appearance

Vigilant: help

Octopussy: he made a big deal about meeting up as well to do this!

Octopussy: No one in the class even cares!

Octopussy: No one is even remotely

Octopussy: Not even close

Octopussy: To thinking about that project right now!

Octopussy: We’ve got ages!

Vigilant: oh sweet jesus

Octopussy: Like! We’ve got a month!

Octopussy: AN ENTIRE MONTH

Octopussy: Like he also wants to meet up as well to practise

Octopus: Like ew.

Top-Hat-Gay: Are you done?

Octopussy: ye

Octopussy: he’s a dick

Vigilant: oh thank god

Top-Hat-Gay: Ha, as if you believe in god.

Vigilant: If it stops Re from not spamming us then I’ll believe whatever. 

Octopussy: rude

Vigilant: bitch

Top-Hat-Gay: On an actually important note, which one of you last used my nail bag?

Octopussy: me!

Octopussy: you need more green 

Top-Hat-Gay: No I fucking don’t!

Top-Hat-Gay: There was an entirely new bottle in there!

Octopussy: I said what I said.

Top-Hat-Gay: I hate you. 

Octopussy: Thank bby

Octopussy: ALSO!

Octopussy: I found out the nerd also lives with Ro.

Top-Hat-Gay: So?

Vigilant: hE’S FORBIDDEN

Top-Hat-Gay: Wait so the nerd is Logan?

Octopussy: He is!

Octopussy: not that it seems to be having any effect on Ro. he’s as dense as a brick.

Top-Hat-Gay: I saw him today going into Remy’s. 

Vigilant: Why are we even talking about him

Vigilant: Like who gives a shit.

Octopussy: dunno

Octopussy: just thought it was weird

Top-Hat-Gay: Maybe you should switch partners. Especially if he wants to meet up at some point.

Octopussy: nah

Octopussy: not worth it

Top-Hat-Gay: A teacher wouldn’t care. They only want to see good grades. They won’t mind moving stuff around for you.

Octopussy: He seems harmless. 

Vigilant: you literally called him a dick after one conversation.

Octopussy: he is a dick

Octopussy: he seems stuffy but just a nerd through and through. He’s not going to be a prick or anything.

Vigilant: This isn’t really about him. He already got you talking about you know who in your first ever conversation. Maybe you shouldn’t hang around him.

Octopussy: I just thought it was interesting

Octopussy: It doesn’t mean jack shit

Octopussy: Not everything I talk about has some grand meaning.

Octopussy: I just thought it was weird that this nerd I share my classes with also lives with my bro. 

Top-Hat-Gay: And that’s perfectly fine Re.

Octopussy: soz V

Octopussy: didn’t mean to blow up in your face

Octopussy: just annoying to feel psycho-analysed 

Vigilant: soz

Octopussy: okay! 

Octopussy: that’s proof enough!

Octopussy: we can behave to each other so ice cream plz!!!!!!!!!!!

Top-Hat-Gay: JESUS CHRIST I SAID THAT AS A JOKE LAST YEAR

Octopussy: I will eat V’s posters unless you give us reward good boy icecream

Vigilant: chocolate pls

Top-Hat-Gay: jesus do you lot know how long it takes for me to put on my cape to go shopping

Vigilant: yes

Vigilant: we are precisely aware of exactly how long it takes

Vigilant: that’s why we don’t go shopping with you

GROUPCHAT: THE FAM ILY

Tuesday, 16:38

Pat-on-the-back: Heya guys, are we all in for dinner tonight?

Logan.S: I am.

YourHopesandDreams: I will be in at 7. If you could be so compassionate to push your meal back until then, I would be truly indebted to you.

Pat-on-the-back:  Fine by me!

Logan.S: I am agreeable.

Pat-on-the-back: Also Lo! Are you finished with your work?

Logan.S: I have finished my to-do list so I am available if I’m needed. 

Pat-on-the-back: No, you’re all good! I just wanted to check. It sounded like you were doing work for like four hours straight.

Logan.S: It took three hours thank you very much. 

Logan.S: So what are we doing for dinner?

Pat-on-the-back: I was thinking lasagne! 

Pat-on-the-back: also! Don’t think I’ll notice that change in topic!

Pat-on-the-back: I thought we all agreed on two hour stretches of work with a 15 min break at least. I mean... it’s even written on our calendar! There’s no way you forgot, did you Mister! 

Logan.S: It’s fine Pat.

Logan.S: Just let it go

Logan.S: I needed to get it done

Logan.S: I don’t need to be babied. 

Logan.S: I’m taking a break now. I’m okay.

Pat-on-the-back: I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure. As long as you feel okay then everything’s alright! How was your work anyway?

Logan.S: Fairly ordinary actually. I had to go through some of my notes and rewrite a couple of pages then I had to organise a group project due the 2nd of March. 

Pat-on-the-back: Sounds productive!

Logan.S: Thank you.

YourHopesandDreams: Ew. Group project. Who’s your partner?

Logan.S: We are in entirely different courses, why do you think you would know them?

YourHopesandDreams: Everyone knows the drama students know everyone. 

Logan.S: I’m working with Remus.

YourHopesandDreams: You should ask to swap partners. 

Logan.S: I won’t do so unless I have a genuine reason. I’ve not had any interactions with him previously and while he did seem half-hearted and obnoxious in his messages, he seems harmless. If he messes everything around then I will but I won’t make a fuss unless I have reason to.

Pat-on-the-back: That’s fair but please make sure to tell us if he pulls anything.

YourHopesandDreams: Your loss. 

.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:02

hey u awake

Nerd: What on earth are you doing up at 3am? 

Oh

Soz

Wrong number.

MESSAGES: To Nerd

Wednesday, 3:12

Nerd: What is your favourite planet?

wha

Nerd: I figured it would be fair to ask your test to you. For all I know you could be as uncultured as your brother.

can we not talk about him

I dunno really

I wanna say pluto because they deserve it

but I kinda like saturn best.

Nerd: Any reason why?

Just kinda interesting

Big, lots a moons, ring. 

It’s just a cool planet. 

Nerd: Fair enough.

Do you have a reason to like jupiter?

Nerd: If I’m being honest, my science teacher absolutely adored Jupiter. I don’t know why but that memory of him ranting about how cool it was just really stuck with me. I was only about 8 years old. But I found myself agreeing with him. Back then my fascination was a lot more childish. I thought it was fascinating that since Jupiter was a gas planet it hadn’t been blown away yet. I grew up from that view but the interest never left.

ew that was almost cute.

Nerd: I concur that was very unprofessional.

WAIT

WAIT

HOLD ON

Why hasn’t Jupiter blown away!?!?!?!?!??

Nerd: Excuse me?

8YR OLD YOU IS A GENUIS 

Nerd: There’s no atmosphere in space!

But there’s pressure and junk isn’t there? 

Nerd: The pressure is pulling the mass into the centre which keeps the planet whole.

Do you think we could step on Jupiter?

Nerd: I don’t know.

I thought you knew space!

Nerd: I do biology! To get into a biology degree, I did a bunch of biology based subjects! Why would I know anything about space?

I dunno.

I guess if you look like a nerd people just presume.

Nerd: I’ve personally found it’s the confidence. If you act confident enough then everyone presumes you know exactly what you’re doing and you’re in control, no matter how out of place you look. 

I’ll drink to that!

Wait, in what situation would you have learnt this!?!

Nerd: I have a bad habit of accidentally going to the wrong class and just going along with it rather than anything else. Although I should say I did fantastic in that architectural history class. But this habit has caused some awkward situations. I have also impersonated a store manager to explain why me and my friend were there when really he ran into the warehouse searching for a kitten. 

HAH

That’s brilliant

Using your nerdy powers to overthrow society.

Does this mean you’re a liar?

Nerd: I call it ‘managing life’. 

HAH

Sounds about right.

Why are you awake at this time?

Nerd: I could ask you that.

[palmett-hoes]

7 for Andrew??

( ask game )

7. Exists as a pretext for the intellectual exercise of seeing how much textual support I can find for something patently absurd

okay well this isn't patently absurd it's actually a very sad and sadly very common story for a lot of kids, but i did spend a lot of time combing the books for evidence of andrew’s relationship with books and reading. him being a big reader is a super common headcanon in the fandom, and im sorry to tell yall that we pulled that one out of our asses. from what’s available in canon andrew hates reading and refuses to do it in front of other people. so, i concluded that andrew is in fact, dyslexic, and that reading is difficult and frustrating for him. he avoids it whenever possible, instead relying on audible information that seems to work best for his memory. it also tracks that he wouldn’t read around other people because it would be displaying weakness in his eyes for people to see him struggling

so, the evidence. i’ve searched the books by appearances of words like “book” “read” “paper” etc. most things i can think are related to reading yknow? and there’s not one instance in the entire trilogy of andrew reading anything, ever. in fact, he canonically hates libraries and refuses to go in them. one time he’s handed a packet of an opposing team’s stats and he crumples it up and throws it in his locker immediately.

to put it in perspective, most if not every other characters is shown reading at some point or another, it’s just in very short, missable scenic descriptors. aaron buying a book in the airport. kevin reading a magazine in the dorm. the upperclassmen hanging out and doing homework together. neil reading foreign news sites. it doesn’t seem like much but the fact that andrew is never actually seen reading anything at any point ever,, is actually somewhat conspicuous if you pay attention to the fact that well,, everyone else does.

there’s a handful of other details, mostly andrew’s phone. he has an older model that both essentially forces him to use it slower to type, as well as disincentivizes other ppl from texting him and expecting a quick response. he doesn’t text neil at any point except for the essentials of setting up the phone, and it doesn’t seem like he texts with anyone else either. he specifically tells neil to call him, not text.

so let’s backtrack. let’s talk about what it means for andrew to be dyslexic.

(um,, a lot of this is gonna be based on articles and studies i’ve read but i don’t really wanna make this an Essay i want to cut through the explanations and background info so i’m gonna be making some Statements. if you’re curious or confused pls send me a message and i’ll tell u what i had in mind/what i was drawing from)

thematically, when thinking about andrew’s background, the most important thing i keep in mind about andrew is that he has never been lucky, ever. he is consistently, over and over, handed the worst cards. he is born and raised in the foster care system, and even within this (basically inherently traumatic system) he is ONLY placed in bad homes. he says so. maybe they vary in their methodology, but they’re all bad. so then i have to extend this reasoning to the other parts of his life. he has bad teachers, bad foster siblings, bad case workers. no one CARES about this boy, no one looks at him, no one asks why he behaves the way he does. he gets written off, over and over and over again, in every part of his life. that is FUNDAMENTAL to who he is and what has shaped his views and personality as a person

growing up, no one helped him with his homework, no one read to him at night. probably he had very limited experience with books before he entered school. if andrew is dyslexic he would have struggled in school from very early on, and he would not be receiving any help or support at home. he never learned any skills or coping mechanisms for dealing with the fact that he mixes up his letters or that his head hurts when he looks at them too long, because no one is paying attention to him to notice these things. if he’d received help, if people had been patient with him, he probably could have learned to read just fine and could have done well in school with some accommodations. instead, he just learned to resent reading, to hate books, because people were always trying to force him into it the wrong way, when he was a square peg in a round hole and he needed to approach reading differently from the other kids. but no one saw that there was a problem that could be helped, they only saw HIM as a problem, so no one helped him. not his foster parents, not his foster siblings, not his teachers. so he has no positive associations with reading, it’s just a continuous negative in his life

his teachers especially saw his outbursts and his resistance in class. they didn’t see that he was an abused, traumatized (autistic) child with a learning disability who couldn’t convey to anyone that reading was frustrating and physically painful for him, that he only needed a little more time and a little more support. they only saw his “attitude” and the fact that he took longer than his classmates. so they labelled him a “bad” kid, a “stupid” kid, and they didn’t question that judgement further

no one saw that, if he was given that extra time to read and think at his own pace, that he was brilliant. that he remembered everything that was ever said to him, word for word. they didn’t notice his self-discipline. his skill at puzzles and mind-games. the way he could see right through people and predict with uncanny accuracy how they would act and react. how good he was at putting clues together. his incredible spatial reasoning. they didn’t start conversations with him long enough to realize that he was incisive and observant and clever. they didn’t notice that he was bright and inquisitive, if reserved. that because no one ever answered his questions he learned how to answer them himself. that he started trouble because he was bored and under-stimulated. all they knew was that he never finished his tests and that he couldn’t read aloud in class because everything in schools is levels and data and test scores and working under ridiculous time requirements.

so i don’t really like that common characterization of andrew as a bookworm who does well in school. we know that andrew is intelligent, it’s so obvious that he’s brilliant to us from reading the books, but that’s because we’re seeing him through neil’s eyes. neil who looks at and understands andrew more than anyone else ever has, who sees in him the things that other people miss. and that’s important, because people have missed the fact that andrew is smart. but reading books, getting good grades, eloquent essays, that’s all one of the most typical, the most universally recognized ways to be smart. and i think that’s an injustice for andrew as a character and what his story represents, because he represents all the kids that got missed and passed over and thrown aside for not operating “correctly,” for reacting to things the “wrong” way

there are so many ways to be smart, so many different kinds of intelligence that get dismissed and written off for not being successful in the very narrow set of skills the school system teaches. giving andrew the most classic and conformative and universally recognized signs of “being smart” (actively AGAINST his passive characterization in canon) is honestly a disservice to him. and that’s what i like about him being dyslexic, of him struggling in school, because he can still be smart, be BRILLIANT (because he IS brilliant) but in non-conventional ways