#I don’t usually like to use that term when referring to myself giving someone the strap

[porschesbabydaddy]

I need to be isekai’ed into the kinnporsche universe so I can be the hot tourist who introduces Porsche to getting pegged

[summersreality]

How I “go about” shifting

While I do refer to it as “DR” “OR” “CR” when talking or explaining something to someone else, I prefer to call it my:

“future reality” (usually realities that are very similar to the one in currently in but with a desired change. I shift between them so often that there’s no use in giving it a specific name like “healthy hair DR” or “A+ student DR”

“past reality” (so far I haven’t ever shifted back to one of my past realities, but it’s a replica for saying “OR” even though I don’t have one)

“__ life” (instead of calling things a desired reality, I like to recognize that it’s an actual life of mine, also makes me feel more connected to it. I usually use this term when the reality has major changes from my past ones, like my kpop DR/life)

Original reality (doesn’t refer to just one reality but all my past and future realities that have similar “backgrounds”, as in the world order is pretty much the same even though I might change things about myself.)

And I believe that the reality I perceive in the current moment is the only physical one that exists at that moment, for me at least. But all realities that can be imagined can exist, since it starts in the 4D and then the 3D aligns with it.

I also used mixed terminologies for convenience, I say that I “manifest” even though I know it’s just shifting a reality and there’s nothing to manifest since I already have it.

[kan-be]

Hii!! Um I’m just curious about how you draw anatomy :D I absolutely LOVELOVELOVEEE your artstyle along with the coloring!! If you’re fine with it, can you give a breakdown how you draw anatomy? Or maybe how you suggest learning how to draw anatomy better- DW I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SHARE THAT‼️ Either way it’s nice looking at your art and learning from it!!

hii!! ty ty that’s very sweet of you to say 😭💕

I’m actually not that good at anatomy myself and if I have to draw parts of naked body I surround myself with references 🥴 in any other case I just use blocks to make a rough sketch which I then dress up like a doll, so it’s not so much about anatomy as it is about proportions and shapes (which I suggest to learn first thing bc that’s what we started with at art school :p)

I really don’t think you need to know the name and exact form of every bone from the bottom to the top to draw people well enough, IMO all you need as a core except for named above are the very general things like the way leg bones connect with pelvic bones, or the rib cage shape and how it can differ, or, for example, those anchor points where the bones are practically not hidden by anything, like the collarbones or upper anterior iliac spine and etc etc. what I’m trying to say is you don’t have to memorise skeleton and all the muscles in all details, especially in the beginning 🤓

in terms or advices I probably won’t say anything new: when I get an annual urge to learn anatomy more or need a reference I go through Anatomy for Sculptores since everything is very clearly shown there or straight to youtube and watch channels like Proko. he actually has a very useful practice in homework to find muscles or bones on a photo and draw it on top/separately. I myself rarely do it and I’m ashamed bc when I actually did it was so helpful for understanding 😭

I also have a few pinterest boards for anatomy and love to look at pics like these, gives me a better understanding of volumes and the way shading should go

I tried to read Bammes too but it has A LOT of (not so necessary on practice IMO) info (and a lot of typos in russian version) which is too much for my one and only braincell and I can’t remember a single thing for a dear life of mine from there 😭😭😭 schemes are good tho 🤓

heard good things about Figure drawing, Design and Invention by Michael Hampton and Morpho series (especially Simplified Forms) by Michel Lauricella but haven’t gotten my hands on them yet

I actually have this recs from someone on IG, can’t remember who it was sadly

and ofc looking at and drawing real ppl helps not only to understand how anatomy works but also how our body parts can hugely differ, even if it’s the exact same muscle

anyways sorry for a lot of letters, here is an edit of different sketches I have in timelapses, you can see how I usually do them 👀 I also tend to be lazy and sketch things without refs just to get confused on a rendering stage and redo anatomy on top with refs so I added one full timelapse just to show it 🤓

[samwisethewitch]

In Defense of Fluffy Bunnies, or Witchcraft in Times of Burnout

At the very end of 2023, I used my Christmas bonus from work to buy myself a tarot deck I never would have purchased six months earlier.

This deck was from a creator whose work I had really enjoyed in the past, but when I had looked at it earlier in the year, I'd had concerns that it was softening the meaning of some of the more "difficult" cards in the tarot. For example, The Hanged Man is replaced with "The Patient Witch" and Death is replaced with "The Broom." I'd had concerns that replacing these cards, which are traditionally associated with more dire or upsetting readings, meant the creator was trying to whitewash tarot into something cute and fluffy, sacrificing a lot of its depth in the process.

The deck is The Cozy Witch Tarot by Amanda Lovelace, and I'm so glad I gave it a try. This deck has an incredibly kind and gentle feel, but it is absolutely capable of giving serious readings. The depth of the tarot hasn't been compromised at all by Lovelace's changes, and her version's greater emphasis on agency and personal empowerment is exactly what I need in my practice right now. I use this deck to read for myself almost every day.

So what changed? How did I do a complete 180 in my thoughts on this deck in only a few months?

I've always been very opposed to "love and light" or "fluffy bunny" witchcraft. For those who aren't familiar, these are both terms used online (usually negatively) to describe witches who only do "light" or positive magic. According to the Witchipedia, "Generally, the 'fluffy bunnies' have based their practice on only the most delightful aspects of their spiritual path or romanticized, fictional Hollywood or literary accounts of witchcraft or Wicca." From what I can tell, this term came out of Wiccan Internet forums in the 1990s, and it refers to someone who dons the aesthetics and mythology of Wicca or witchcraft without actually engaging critically with magic theory. Fluffy bunnies also tend to focus on feel-good magic, at least according to stereotypes.

Similarly, "love and light" witches are known for only focusing on the lighthearted side of witchcraft. In an opinion article for The Wild Hunt, Storm Faerywolf writes that, "On the surface it seems harmless enough: a philosophy of love, kindness, non-violence, and a concerted practice of positivity." This type of witchcraft is very closely tied to the "spiritual but not religious" movement and borrows a lot of concepts from New Age spirituality, like crystal healing, the Law of Attraction, and chakras. While fluffy bunnies are very much a product of the 1990s, love and light witches are very much a product of the New Age boom of the 2010s.

I've been very vocal about my dislike for both of these types of witchcraft on this blog in the past, and I still 100% agree with Storm Faerywolf, who says in that same article: "But to assert that pain, and fear, and even anger are somehow less important than our joy, our courage, and even our love, is to do a grave disservice to our collective mental and spiritual health... groups that embrace this mode of thinking have effectively ensured that they can mutually avoid anything that might challenge their cultish mindset. Angry over injustice? You’re just living in a lower vibration. Afraid of contracting a deadly virus? You just don’t trust Jesus enough."

I think accepting and working with challenging emotions is an important part of what it means to be a witch. Spiritual bypassing and cries of "good vibes only" do more harm than good. But for a while I got so caught up in rejecting anything even remotely fluffy or love-and-lightish that I ended up with a magical practice that, to be honest, kind of made me miserable. And I don't think I'm the only one.

I spent a lot of 2022 and 2023 wrestling with injustice, both in my spiritual practice and in my personal and professional life. My practice is inspired by witches like Starhawk and Christy C. Road, and politics play a key role. Most of the spells I did in 2023 fall into the category of justice magic, including breaking family curses and hexing rapists. At the same time, I was working a series of direct services jobs that saw me working closely with homeless teenagers, domestic violence victims, and people battling addiction, just to name a few. And that's not even getting into my personal life and recovery as a queer, disabled survivor of abuse.

And let me tell you: By the end of 2023, I was fucking exhausted. I was beyond burnout. And I didn't even want to do magic anymore, because magic had become just another part of my life where I had to face the injustice and harm happening in the world around me.

I was in desperate need of some fluffiness, some love and light. And that was when I bought the Amanda Lovelace tarot deck.

I knew something had to change. In my burnout, I desperately needed to be tenderly cared for. I needed my spiritual practice to be a source of peace and comfort, not a drain on my energy. I needed to get out of the dark for a bit so I could remember how to see the stars.

What I've realized in the last few months is that yes, anger, pain, and fear are important in a balanced magical practice and a balanced life -- but joy, love, and comfort are equally important. And if you spend a lot of time in one part of your life dealing with pain and fear (like I do in my day job), focusing on love and healing in your witchcraft can help keep things balanced.

"Comfort" and "care" are definitely the keywords for my magical practice right now, and that means my magic looks a lot more fluffy than it has in the past. And that's a good thing.

[bunnidid-reviews]

hello 🌷 I hope you're doing well. i wanted to ask and I hope this isn't offensive in any way.. so those w did and osdd have the word system to refer to themselves as, right? what about the c ptsd fragments / parts? some r saying that they give their parts names even, but I don't do that.. tho I do want to make it clear to my loved ones that I am fragmented if that makes sense, and maybe even tell them what this ep does and how my anp usually behaves but im confused. i don't want to make it look like im different people but I know they get confused when I differently to protect myself or shift states, so I do want to explain!! im not in the community yet hence why I asked. thank you and I apologize if this was rough to read. ☺️

Hi anon! Thanks for reaching out. Pls note I’m not a professional and can’t give advice or speak for how the community feels, just going off my own experiences

So I’m a full supporter of using what language makes sense to you and your loved ones when explaining what’s going on for you. If that means using system language to describe it all, theres literally no issue with it at all, especially when its just between you and loved ones anyway. Sorry, but I’m not going to gatekeep words, thats silly! People might get confused if you talk about it in a more public way but thats about it.

I frequently change up my words according to who I’m telling about this all, depending on what they understand. Not everyone knows I have DID but I’ve had to explain what happens sometimes because I’m pretty overt with my presentation and I don’t really like having to do the whole ‘do you believe me or are you going to be fucking weird about this’ song and dance.

Here are some words that might suit you, based on things I’ve used to explain my parts without outing my DID entirely that you may or may not find useful:

- parts of self (‘this part of myself’, ‘the traumatized part of myself’, ‘the part of myself who struggles with this specific thing’, etc. descriptors help a lot to differentiate)

- trauma brain and present brain (easier, snappier, more to the point than ANP and EP, nicely not specific to any one part. Sometimes people use left brain and right brain to explain their logic side and creative side, so its the same kinda thing)

- using animals to describe whats going on (my housemates use things like ‘feeling stalked by hyenas’ when feeling urgency, or ‘hiding like a wounded animal’. This is pretty normal too, like ‘a deer in headlights’ used to describe someone whos frozen or confused)

- age descriptors (‘me at seven’, ‘teenage self’, etc. )

- job descriptions (‘the part of me that can go to work’, ‘the aggressive part of me’, ‘the part of me who cries all the time’. Makes it easier to get to the point of what this part does)

As for a system of parts, if you don’t feel comfortable using system, here are some others I’ve used:

- animal groupings (a flock, a murder, a herd, a colony, whatever works here)

- computer or machine terminology (‘my inner processing unit’, ‘my folders full of memory files’, idk I use the term ‘programming’ a whole lot with my loved ones because of how theyve said that I respond like a robot, but I’m certain some people here would be upset that I use their Very Special Terms. But if its in the privacy of your own home I really do not think it matters)

- Literally any sort of grouping analogy, whatever makes sense to you and feels right. You could say a jar full of trauma buttons or something idk! Up to you! Get creative with it

R and I constructed an understanding of my DID without using the Big Community Words because it was just me and him figuring it out for a few years. Things like The Personas (instead of parts or alters), the Council Of Bunny, trauma brain/present brain, The Guys In my Head.

When it comes down to it, you and I are on the same spectrum anyway. DID is not some special disorder, its just C-PTSD with extra steps really. So I wouldn’t worry too much about all this. I wish you luck in finding words and phrases that suit you and your loved ones’ understanding of what’s going on. Having someone Know helps so so so so much

And also if I totally misunderstood and you were just wondering what the C-PTSD community uses.. i have no idea sorry! Maybe look into inner child language? I’m not even caught up on my own community

[zoobiefish]

Yo! So I’ve unfortunately fallen behind by nearly a week for Auctober because I’ve been travelling abroad this past week…whoopsie-daisy! So here’s a little catch-up post!

Day 13: Vivid Imaginations

This one is very true for me! For some reason there’s a big stereotype that Autistic people are incredibly unimaginative. But once again: We’re a spectrum! Some of us may not have the most vivid imagination or may not be the “creative type,” and that’s okay! But I do find that quite a lot of us tend to be very imaginative, artsy, creative etc. My imagination is so vivid that I can practically see an object I’ve imagined in grear detail and can visualize it as if it’s in 3D space. Sadly…this doesn’t make me any better at drawing 😝 Regardless of my skill level though, I’ve always had a passion for the arts. I love to draw, paint, write stories, write poetry, and I used to dabble in playing the piano as well! One of my coping mechanisms I’ve had since childhood has been to retreat into the fictional worlds I’d created in my mind. I do this to this day in my late twenties.

Day 14: Hyperfixations

So, I often see the word “hyperfixation” used interchangeably with “special interest.” (The latter is often shortened to “spin,” which I love!) My understanding is that hyperfixations are more common in ADHD and refer to intense, almost obsessive interests that last a shorter amount of time than a spin. A spin, on the other hand, is more common in Autism and is essentially the same as a hyperfixation but generally lasts longer—anywhere from years to one’s whole life. That was my understanding of the terms, but I of course could be very wrong! I do have both Autism and ADHD however, so I do experience both hyperfixations and spins. My spin that I’ve had my ENTIRE life was The Legend of Zelda. It’s my all-time favourite videogame series and it means so, so much to me. I always related to the main protagonist Link, whom I’ve headcanoned as being Autistic for years! A spin I had for years was Japan, and I taught myself a lot of Japanese from childhood until I graduated high school. It’s not so much a special interest anymore, though I’m still making an effort to learn the language, culture, and I would still very much like to visit Japan some day! 🇯🇵 A few years back, I had a hyperfixation on plague doctors of all things! I still think they’re interesting, but it was definitely a little more of a fleeting interest. Of course, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t resurface—hyperfixations often do resurface for me hehe! One of my current most prominent spins right now is Puritan New England. Recently on my trip abroad, I visited Boston and Salem Massachusetts and I was SO hyped!! I need to clarify that my interest in the Puritans is NOT at all due to any support for colonialism—I am staunchly anti-colonialism. I just have a morbid fascination with fanatical religious groups and their history. I usually compare it to people who have an interest in true crime—just because they’re interested in the subject, doesn’t mean they support serial killers or anything like that. Hope that makes sense!

Day 15: Pebbling

Awww, pebbling! One of my favourite things about the Autistic community and the neurodivergent community in general! For those who don’t know, the term “pebbling” comes from something penguins do when selecting a mate: they will find a rock they think is pretty and give it to the mate they’re interested in as a gift! Autistic people often do this too (though not necessarily in a romantic context; I mean, probably in that context too, but often we do this with friends!) Autistic people might see somehing they think is really cool, neat, or interesting, and give it to someone they like to share in the fascination. This is our little bonding ritual and it shows that we really like you, so feel honoured! I don’t do much pebbling myself, or at least maybe not as frequently as some Autists. But on the occasion I do, it’s usually a craft item I’ve made for that person! For example, when I made a new friend last year at uni who was also Autistic and has a spin with skeletons and spooky things. So, I made them a skull magnet out of fuse beads! (They loved it!) I recall back in high school as well, there was a time I was making like a bajillion origami butterflies for an art project I was doing at the time. I made a few extra, so I just gave everyone in my friend group an origami butterfly! 🦋

Day 16: Autistic Pride

I have always found it odd when people treat my Autism diagnosis as if it’s a tragedy. Yes, I won’t deny that it has caused me much hardship and sometimes I do think it’d be easier to be neurotypical. But if I wasn’t Autistic, I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be infinitely curious with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. I wouldn’t be creative in my particular way. I wouldn’t have my unique sense of humour that everyone in my life seems to enjoy. I don’t think I would have the compassion for others and love of the world that my peers know me for. I just wouldn’t be the same person. I love being a divergent thinker and having a perspective on the world that is entirely my own. I may have difficulties and need a lot of help with certain things, but I’ve accepted it and I accept myself. I love being Autistic, and I have no interest in a “cure.”

Day 17: Repetition

I am known for being very repetitive—probably to an annoying degree. Sometimes it’s embarrassing too 😭 For example, I’ll find a joke far funnier for far longer than most people. By the time everyone is over the funny joke, I’ll still be unable to contain my laughter. I can’t help it, I’m sorry!! I also tend to repeat quotes from my favourite shows, movies, games etc. over and over again. Often with little to no context as well LMAO

Day 18: Self Regulating

Self regulating for me usually means stimming, fidgeting, or, if trying to prevent a meltdown, shutting the blinds/curtains, hiding under a blanket, putting headphones on etc. Sometimes the world is just too much for anyone—but when you’re on the spectrum, it’s like that more often. It’s hard for me to convey just how intense my sensory issues are to non-Autistic people. The best way for me to explain it is…imagine if your eardrums were *outside* of your ears. Or if, like a camera, the exposure (amount of light let in) was turned up to the max in your eyes. Or you know that one itchy sweater you hate? Imagine if almost every kind of fabric you tried on bothered you like that. It’s like all your senses are just…turned up to the absolute maximum. This is why we stim. Why we wear sunglasses sometimes even indoors. Why we wear headphones or earplugs. The world is loud, bright, and constantly coming at you. Let us self regulate. Doing so will make you a great friend to an Autistic person ❤️

That’s all for now, I hope to have a drawing or other form of art for the next prompt! Until then, I’m drained from writing all that and from travelling. I got a plane back to Canada to take soon. Bye bye!

[accio-victuuri]

there are clowning materials/potential candies that i wanna look into and talk about no matter how improbable they are. then there are those where i���m just — do i even want to do this? lol. only because there is not much to go on and fueled solely by speculation. anyway, this is about the alleged camera gifted to xz ( by wang yibis babie ) and how he took it to milan with him.

i’m making this so i can refer to it if anything comes up in the future. the thing is, if you look at the vlogs/photos — ZZ is using his phone to take pictures and videos. there is nothing wrong that, most people use their phones and he has his team that will take the “content” who brought the equipment. but i just find it hard to believe that GG, a photographer, will not bring a camera? this is a dude who brings it for drama shoots ( for example ace troops ) and that’s at home. so what more for a trip like this. in milan. there are a couple of fan-photos/videos of him roaming around and we don’t see him holding a proper camera. surely there will be other content from that trip and let’s see if we find the cam but right now it seems like it’s non- existent.

this talk started with a made-up 🍉…

i’m saying made-up because all melons that read like this are. especially those that say “xx and xx have a good relationship” or “xx exercise alot”. if this was from a fake rumor house, i would be more inclined to have a positive take on it but it’s not. as i also said before, i don’t endorse this particular account cause they clearly post reliable work-related melons, anti posts and random stuff to get attention. point is, melon accounts are not friends.

anyway, this made some turtles think about last october when some where noticing the appearance of cameras in their promo pics/ videos. and comments came up of maybe it’s a clue that they are giving us. remember XZ didn’t do his usual birthday post last year, same with Bobo.

so now we’re like, why not look into it?

XZS posted very few photos of GG ( 2021-2022 ) with a camera and i can’t really tell what he’s using for p1 and p2. but i think this is the same one he takes with him @ drama shoots.

for the vlogs i found this, but they covered the brand. lol. and well the occasional polaroid cameras are also spotted in his vlogs.

i don’t see any concrete timeline of what cameras he has, i only remember his pd101 guesting and how fans were saying the camera he used is his own. it just never really came up, how many cameras do you have? hahahahahahaha!

In terms of MFW,

the main camera his team was using for photos and vlogs was Canon EOS body and of course the important thing are the lenses which they switch out. I think this was not the “gifted” one and more of something his assistant/photographer owns. 📷

my eye is on the camera he used for the tod’s photoset when he landed in Milan. It was still posted under XZS and they tagged Tod’s, but it’s not exactly a “business photoshoot” that will be released as a proper Ad. It is still work-related, but given the freedom to add his personal touch. popular guess is it’s a sony zv-1, which is a known compact vlogging camera that is good quality. it is a thoughtful gift for someone you know who loves to shoot his day-to-day life. it’s not too heavy or so expensive that you will be afraid to use it casually.

some are saying it might be provided by tod’s for him to shoot but i find that unlikely. they know he has his team. if they need to capture photos/videos of him, they will send their own. knowing how cared for he was by the tod’s team during his trip. and the important thing for a tod’s “ad post” is really the product. the clothes, bags and shoes. so why was this camera featured twice? is he showing it off? for what?

i checked the review and it sounds promising that i almost wanna buy one for myself 😂😂😂

it could be his own and he bought it himself. it is possible too ( by turtle logic ) that it’s “gifted” by wyb. who knows. as with all other candies, we can’t say for sure or confirm things. but for this one, i think we need more evidence and time. 💕

reference sources: one & two

[randomfoggytiger]

Typing: INTPs In Their Own Words

A short while ago, I created a Mulder Typing post explaining why he's an INTP (not INFJ/INFP); and, while I was compiling notes, I collected some comments from INTP users and stashed them away in a document. While going back through to get inspired for a future post (whatever that will be), I found them again; and was struck with a brilliant idea: why don't I simply post them in full so that everyone can read INTP thoughts/processes in their own words? There are many flavors of INTPs (since Typing is just a system showing how the brain processes information, not a personality box you have to stuff people into-- the old Nature vs. Nurture dynamic)-- perhaps you'd be interested in what they have to say?

There's a lot of good, some bad, and a little ugly; but we need a full picture to see these good souls for who they are~.

(Shoutout to my INTP mutual @baronessblixen! She mainly inspired this post for me~.)

**Note**: I will try to translate the technical terms as I go along (since they are mostly referring to Typing terminology and processes), so don't worry if the comment doesn't make much sense at first! :DDD

And now-- in no particular order-- here they are on their own terms!

""Why bother... Why do I even bother?.... Why would anyone care?...." The mantras of the INTP"

""They are legitimately worried that other people in the world are stupid."" As an INTP, I genuinely started to have that worry when I started noticing that my former classmates are holding executive jobs. As for fashion sense, I used to let my mom buy my clothes until late high school. But in the past 10 years or so and probably due to my ENTJ sister's influence and my interests in arts I started to develop a bizarre wardrobe. It had mellowed down a bit but I still get "that looks cool but I'd never do it myself" comments."

"I’m an INTP and the telling the same story over and over again is definitely a thing. But I don’t do it because I don’t remember having told it that person, usually. I’m usually the one who remembers everything I’ve ever said to someone, or heard from them in response in unreasonable amounts of detail. And then, over time, no one else remembers our conversations as well. So I start telling the same story I like telling, assuming that either they don’t remember hearing it, or if they do, they’ll stop me and say they remember me telling that one."

"The Ni critic explains why i can never decide on an acedemic/career path. Afraid of not choosing the wrong path or not being able to contribute anything new/novel/inovative to the field. But desperately wanting to prove to the world our brain has some thing significant to contribute but afaid of failing"

"Ti is logic and it’s basically what the individual believes is true or false. Like me, for example, if this is truth and this has to be true, basically, if this-then this, constantly." 

"My INTP younger sister is exactly like this [easily exploited]. I hate when she lets peope use her at a door mat. I've dated many INTPs as an INTJ female and really really love the dynamic. But how do I cultivate "immoveability" into the INTP? Personally, my own views are what matter to me, but I find INTPs to almost be too flexible (if that makes sense). One of my exes used to get taken advantage so much it caused me to question his love for himself. I love my sister and obviously want wants best for her, how do I give her some of the INTJ "immoveability" to be less of a door mat?"

"So I’m an INTP but I don’t feel like I’m nowhere near brilliant. I now understand why I always felt so different from everyone else. I understand stuff easier than most but I have to break it down and reiterate to myself. I also did poorly in school until last 2 years of college.... I also have a hard time putting my words together or finding the right thing to say or word to use."

"As a INTP I hate jobs with hierarchy. The idea that someone with a lesser mind will be in charge of me will irritate ... me. At the same time I don't want to be the boss either, the idea of having to baby sit lesser minds will also irritate me lol. The person in charge in my opinion has to be highly intelligent, because that is the only time ill accept it because then I feel like I actually have something to learn from that person to further my own knowledge and the position they have is actually justified in my head."

"In my opinion, INTPs "inevitability" stems from their pessimistic functions, both in the ego and the shadow. The sharp Ne [Me: the fate of all humanity, not just one's own path forward] parent with how responsble it is with its forsight combined with the Fe [Me: human interconnection and emotional outreach] in aspirational mode can provide the most efficient choices for anyone to be better. While their shadow reinforces with  using their will with Ni [Me: personal future and fate, the path one creates forward for oneself] critic and principles with Fi [Me: personalized morals and beliefs] demon/angelic to give structure and brings things to reality to what they foresee."

"I’m an INTP, and can tell you in all honesty that we view forgiveness very differently than all the other types. Forgiveness is but something that you acquire, but in fact more of a gift. You either have it, or you don’t"

"MBTi type claim that they’re INTPs and use it as a crutch to not get anything done or not to go anywhere in life. To be honest, that’s not how that works. INTPs just get too comfortable, and really the only way to motivate an INTP or an INFP because they have Si child is to just make them uncomfortable, and to pull them out of that behind the scenes realm. So, in general respect the behind the scenes, but if they’re not growing as people, if they’re not becoming better human beings, be prepared to pull them out of the behind the scenes, be prepared to expose them, because it’s the only way they will grow. They only understand pain. It’s kind of like those people who have to hit rock bottom before they ever grow up, right?" 

"[Me: Context-- INTP's Nemesis makes them want to question everything, even if they like the information they're given; but often ther Si Child doesn't want to get out of their comfy routine to actually fact check it.] The nemissis thing is funny because as I watched this (and just about everything else I have some experience with) I thought "yeah you seem to have a good grasp of this, but if I had time..." and then I moved on, my inner critic was appeased."

"It doesn’t mean that we should be labeling them hermits or these people who are not good with human beings, etc. Especially INTPs, people are just not as much of a priority to them, because they’re too busy playing with their metaphysical systems. You know, it’s like a big toyland universe that they have access to, mentally, that they’re able to use their thinking models and solve problems. Life to them is a giant puzzle box. Let them play with their puzzle box. They really need that."

" I was talking recently with an INTP mother, who’s actually very good at type, and she trained her son or her daughter, I don’t remember which … But she’s married to an ESTP and they go to church and get involved in church events, and she’d be extroverting in her unconscious or her subconscious side of her mind at that point, and then all of a sudden, she’s like tapped out of energy and she just has to completely disappear and people are like, “Where did she go? Where did she go?” And you’ll find her in a corner where there’s like nobody but her, literally doing nothing but playing puzzles. That’s just how INTPs are."

"Whereas Ne users are very beautiful, they just like to be told by the Ni user what they should do, right? Because the Ni users connected to extraverted sensing and then the Ne users able to be like, okay, “Well I should do this because that’s what you want,” right?” That’s how it works. [Me: Meaning-- Ni users are more focused on what they want/their path forward; and Ne users are less focused on those areas, and are chill if Ni calls most of the shots as long as their opinions/voices are heard.]"

"Fe [Me: INTPs] users want to feel valued, not be source of value. [Me: Meaning-- they don't want to be the stereotypical male bird in a mating ritual dancing and making a big fuss. Others can do that to make them feel valued; but that's not how they show someone that they love, value, or care about them.]"

"Growth and self improvement has always felt to me to be an illusory concept. Obviously we change based on experiences but you can never predict if the experiences you are about to experience are going to lead to being "better" than you were. And what constitutes better? This is the philisophical black hole an INTP like myself can get stuck in when it comes to wanting anything."

"My Fi Demon is a really sharp and brutally honest critic that tells the object of my anger everything that makes them wrong. It’s often followed by guilt, even though I’m only speaking the truth without applying any filter."

"I think with INTPs if they are smart taking the initiative to learn from self help books or if they grow   up in a family and environment that constantly challenges them, it's more about learning what to avoid after repeated experiences of getting burned. I learned about physical pain through sports starting at a young age thanks to my father and social anxiety, dealing with it head on in sports locker rooms, taking toastmasters classes to become a good public speaker, approaching people in cold approach sales etc. So I have the ability to tolerate pain if needed but also have the knowledge on what to stay away from because I've experienced it repeatedly and already know the outcome." 

"I definitely wish my parents had been strict with me. When I asked them for advice, they told me they had no advice to give, and that I should do whatever I want to do. I support myself now, but I spent 10+ years aimless, living off of them. I would have built more useful skills, self-respect, confidence, and better values if they had guided me towards a career and a normal lifestyle. I will definitely give my kids an ultimatum to move out and support themselves for at least a year at age 18, but also will give loving guidance and provide a sense of how to live rather than a liberal attitude of laissez-fair parenting."

"those INTPs, you know, driving their car, they’re like the old man driving their cars, you know what I mean, or the old woman, taking their jolly sweet time, you know, not really in a hurry, I’m never in a hurry. I make sure there’s enough time in my day scheduled, so I can take my time on the road, and [others], you know, cuss at me, honk their horns at me, you know" 

"I agree with you about the subconscious part of INTP. We do care about our loved ones. But if we KNOW that they’re not going to listen, why would we bother?"

"hero of the INTP is a little different. It is Ti hero, logic comes first, they can see into the future of other people, but they do it from a more responsible, a pessimistic point of view." 

"I know that although I always had a real hard time falling in-love and develop strong feelings for a guy, I didn’t have any difficulties being committed and loyal. I know that as a female INTP, it takes lot to decide on a lifelong partner, but once that decision is made, I am fiercely loyal"

"Sometimes, as an INTP, I feel like that I actually am a really-really bad person. I think that I'm actually a psycho, but now I know the reason. When my father died 7 years ago, I remember it was a cold night, my families were grieved, my mother was cried hysterically and so my big brother. Instead, I did not feel anything atm, my aunt kept telling me that my father Infront of me already died but I still didn't feel anything. I was thought that it just a phase of human life and everyone will die eventually, until my brother yelled at me 'What are you doing? It's our father who died!!!' So tried so hard to cry, I didn't even know if that was a real cry or not. And when everyone was still grieving, I decided to sleep so maybe tomorrow I would get my feeling and start to grieve. But after several weeks, I started to think that I don't have my father anymore, the one who was always love me no matter what I did, then finally I can feel my lost and start to cry sincerely. Don't be like me my fellow INTP friends, feeling is important. Don't be so full of logic in those important moments and just blend in. Have a good day!"

"Most of time I have to outsmart myself to not smoke weed, lay in bed, play video games, watch movies and rather go to work instead. Getting out of the comfort zone, nah rather, throwing myself out of the comfort zone is so crucial for me. It completely changes my mindset and pushes me towards growth."

"I'm an INTP. I was married to a very abusive man and had spent 8 years trying to make up my mind as to what I was going to do about it. I went to work one day with a black eye and a co-worker said "if you don't leave him I'll call CPS and then your kids will be taken away" (whether she would have done it or not, idk). That forced me to make the decision to leave and take me out of my "comfort zone". It was the best thing that someone has ever done for me."

"I loved when you talked about wisdom being harsh and "fire". Yeah turns out telling someone "here's the harsh truth about what you're doing wrong, just stop doing it and you'll be fixed" doesn't go over well with most folks. As a teacher, I could absolutely tell how kids were going to turn out due to their parents' behaviour (if the parents were too accepting, the kids would end up helpless; if the parents were too inconsistent, the kids would be unreliable as well etc.) But would I bother telling this to parents? No, of course not, no one likes to be told they're parenting wrong, no one would listen to advice from me, a childless professional with years of experience. Sigh."

"Society appreciates ignorance rather than wisdom."

"I am an INTP. As an ex-smoker it was really hard to stop smoking cigarettes I tried everything but I just couldn't. It was frustrating to me that there is something controlling me. That was [eating away at] ... my brain.I found a book called the easy way to stop smoking on Reddit recommended by ex-smokers. I read it I stopped in a week. Now I'm 8 months clean. I distributed the book to all the people i know who smoke ligit the whole uni. No wants to read the book they think they won't stop they don't believe me. People don't like to take advice people just don't care. This makes me sad."

"It's scary how accurate this is. I almost feel called out for my ways of thinking. In typical INTP fashion I hate being predictable so it's weird to see someone get something this spot-on"

"I see these personality types like INTP as a starting point for personal development and not as a destiny. For example I try to be the one who kicks me out of the comfort zone instead of being dependent on someone else to do that."

"When he said people will hate you and alienate you because you always think your right and come off as arrogant but you usually are right which makes them hate you more. My whole life summed up and yet I never understood why it seemed people had an aversion to me when I had the best intentions. Now I know"

"[Me: Context-- this poster is not an INTP, but has a lot of Fe users in their family. Further context: INTPs are Fe users] I have a family with, I think, a lot of Fe functions. I mean, it does get overwhelming as time progressed and I feel like I'm being gaslighted not being as normal as them, but I can handle it, yes. But the repeating part is just so true. My mom and dad like to repeat stuff as they say it i.e "Don't forget to bring them. Don't forget to bring them. The bag for grandma. Okay ? Don't forget to bring them."

"This was really interesting to watch. I feel that my Trickster Ne is worse because of my Asberger's, it's much harder to interact with people and be aware of my surroundings. Interacting with people and understanding them can be completely exhausting and draining. Weirdly, I find it incredibly hard to predict people, but when I do, it's scarily accurate. My husband, an ISFP, gets so frustrated that I'm "always right". He does have to push me to do things, too. LoL. He, as you said, doesn't give me options but just tells me to stuff, and I do it, kicking and screaming the whole way. :P"

"I am lucky to have a mom that appreciate me and tells me about it quite often, which is very good-feeling, but if she thinks that I'm getting too lazy, she'll be sure to make a move. Really happy to have her in my life."

"I have always had zero fashion sense and 'sloppy' with messy hair is my default look. To help me understand the art and science of dressing right, I have been studying the Kibbe body type system and seasonal color analysis for awhile now, and it was a great starting point. I ended up going really deep into it (like I would any other science), adding my own theories to it. I'd analyze and type friends and family, giving them fashion advice with great accuracy. As for myself, I still look sloppier than ever. Ugh. It's the shopping I hate. And I am too attached to my large comfy hoodies. I need to change lol. I mean, I am an attractive woman otherwise, and I'd like to settle down in the near future. Dressing like a 17 year old boy who lives in his mom's basement certainly isn't helping".

"As an INTP I get stuck in familiar and safe logical pattern loop, caused by my own thinking. On top of that I choose to endure that pain of not taking a risk, being open to risk and taking risk causes me anxiety. Not knowing what to want scares me even more cause i can see the logical fallacy of will and desire with its shortsighted-ness, which causes me further to retreat to my safe routine which i'm willing to endure cause its familiar or obligatory, not taking risk. Its like the saying 'paralysis by analysis', invoking fear and anxiety to risk taking."

"So, I am INTP and also a Psychology student. It's a little bit tiring explaining that I don't want to make therapy. I just want to follow the investigation path and well... they all just say then why did u choose Psychology- and then I am like bcs I WANTED TO KNOW HOW WE WORK. Sad hours... lol"

"I'm not afraid other people are stupid.  I'm afraid they'll misunderstand, which is a slightly different Te nemesis manifestation because that misunderstanding is a HUGE threat to everything I do and it happens a lot.  Also, I can be very ascetic.  Wants are difficult for me.  You put that on the Si child function but I really think it comes from the critic and the blindspot acting in tandem.  Because Se trickster doesn't just mean I bump into stuff.  I barely even recognize material reality.  Like it actually [angers] me ... sometimes that I have to have a physical human body. I don't really understand the necessity of this skin suit.  But as long as I've got it I may as well make it comfy right?  So, I'm off to play PUBG and get some of that dopamine we love so much". 

"As an intp I always felt like I could tell what people were going to do, but until now I never rlly figured the word used to describe it, I always just used the phrase i can read people better in certain situations but I never rlly felt socially adequate like others"

"Yeah... The best way to tick off an INTP is to know what peeves us, but do it anyway... We can tolerate a little, but one second past our timer(and you can't really ever know how long it will be at any given time), our patience will burn away FAST. The better we think you know us(<the "we think" is usually the reason it can seem to come out of the blue), the less tolerant ... we become. Our patience with strangers can be enormous(sometimes ridiculous or un-called-for), but those who we expect to be on our side are expected to know better(whether or not they understand that)... edit: typos"

"[Me: Context-- This is referring to an INTP being uncomfortable about being asked to talk about their innermost feelings casually.] As an INTP female, I have to say this was quite accurate :D I especially appreciated ''Never, ever ask and INTP how they feel! '' I would add, never give an INTP the advice "follow your hart". It makes zero sense to me :D"

"I'm an INTP, here's a little anekdote: When i was younger my dad often went out with me and my brothers to a lake and just relax in the evening before going to bed. So i was like 8/9/10 (dont know exactly) and before going there me and my brother had a discussion, about who is going to sit in the front seat in the car. We said he will sit there on the way to the lake and i will sit there on the way home. But when we wanted to go home, my brother switched into: "No, i am older than you and therefore its my right to choose the seat". We had a little fight and basically i was like: "Okay, ... i am out of here", so i just quit and walked about 15km into the little town where my grandparents lived, because - u know - at grandma's house everything is always fine :). My dad was searching for me, driving around and even thinking about calling the police..because i said NOTHING.. i was just gone I am 22 now and still i have some problems communicating my actions in terms of just leaving the situation. I am always thinking: "U dont have to care about me, you are fine as well so i dont have to care about you...so where is the problem?""

"I don't think an INTP forgets that he told the story already, I believe he tells the story he thinks about because it makes him feel better to talk about it. It's a selfish reason really, but I'm guilty as charged."

"i used to know this intp (i believe) friend. you are extremely on point... extremely. this guy was a red haired nerd who made me laugh harder than anyone i've ever met. i used to be amazed with his casual novel acumen. he often had me crying in laughter in class. he was a huge story teller (stories told over and over). i used to throw him random verbal stimulus (just throw ideas his way) to see his reaction. this man had, literally, zero friends in school (other than me) and i was generally considered somewhat popular and i would regularly leave larger popular groups of others to be around him for his insane entertainment value. he regularly called me a, "... idiot," which made me laugh every time (he would be dead serious when doing this). oh, and btw, i had to beg him to hang out with me when he did... to know how strange this is, you just have to know our situation i guess (like i said, i had the extreme social upper hand that he didn't care about)... anyway, he knew a bunch of small anarchist type knowledge like what would happen if you did these strange things like stick gum wrapper in a socket, rob places in particular ways; it was wildly interesting. the lack of attention he got from others baffled me because he was so unique and extraordinary in my eyes. i was always intrigued how his mind worked. it was intimidating being around this guy with so much street wisdom and casual ability to function flawlessly when he felt like it. ...he's now a pothead (smokes 4 times a day). he did earn a casual master's degree in psychology that he doesn't do anything with. if i smoked like he did, i would fail classes in days. he had a 4.0..."

"I was once told at 26 that I was too old to still be wearing “Sarcastic Tees” from Spencer’s like a 14 year old boy and should be wearing grown men clothes like a respectable member of society. I conceded to wearing flannel button up shirts over those tee shirts. May have been the best criticism that I ever received, because I’m often told how mature I dress now at 32... I guess not a lot of men these days look mature?"

"You just described my dad in 2 functions Ti= Super logical man. Loves motors and electricity. Thinks everybody's an idiot (Shadow Te) Si= Tells the same story a million times not knowing he told the story to the same person the last week. And the week before, and the week before. I've seen it. He doesn't know he's done it. 3 Sundays in a row he told the same story to the same man."

"Back when I graduated high school I skipped the ceremony. My family thought I was crazy and I was like, "so what, almost everyone has a high school diploma. Doesn't mean you're smart.""

"I had an INTP supervisor & his assistant is ISTP, they're brilliant with everything you've stated, but I think I was great at my office manger job & they were unsupportive with some changes I wanted to make. I was trying to create a more positive, supportive experience for our staff & clients by getting rid of [awful] staff. He agreed to fire 1 of the people I was adamant about, but ended up changing his mind (he can be a coward). At my last meeting with him he told me he appreciates me (but it pained him to do it) and I was very valuable to the program, so he does have a heart somewhere. He also said he was critical of me & other leadership staff, to help us. I let him have it. I'm not tolerating that .... He wanted to control everything, even from behind the scenes. He needs puppets and I wasn't going to be that. He is arrogant & 2-face. In front of clients & staff he pretends to be kind, behind their back he talks [badly about them]. He is also overly dependent on the istp too, when she leaves, he is [a goner]. Not a good match for me at all lol"

"[Me: Context-- INTPs are very chill until you ignore their warnings over and over and ruin their own life by extension.] I lost it when you described the Vegeta level tantrums.... So many flashbacks to grabbing the closest thing I could find and straight up hurtling it at someone's (my brother's) head."

"My first and to this day only experience in isfp super ego [Me: Meaning-- INTPs are their angriest/in a rage was, when my mom confronted me the morning before school that I didn't gave her an super important school letter the days before, so she wouldn't sign it that morning, I really thought I would need it this day (later I heard we would need it 2 days later, but I didn't know this at this moment) I saw my future and honor to the teachers and from the teachers breaking away, so let's get to the rage part, I ran into my bedroom and by mistake pulled the door 1meter away from where it should have been (it was ripped out those things which hold the door). That was a really shocky moment for me, because I thought I would have me under controle in such situations, but obviously I didn't."

"you nailed it why care when ppl don't want to know they hate you for caring"

"INTP here. As far as food goes, super adventurous and familiar at the same time. I'll try anything once, and if I like it I can eat it all the time. If I don't, I'll get the priciest/highest rated version I can to make sure it wasn't just the chef/ingredients."

"I'm a female INTP. I'm always so deep into my head that someone can be right beside me and I don't notice them. When they start talking to me, It startles me out of my head. There have been times when I have actually let out a slight scream. I usually get puzzled looks when I try to explain that I was deep in thought and didn't notice them."

"I'm an INFJ living with my boyfriend that is an INTP, and I had to laugh at some of your points because they're so accurate! This man is miserable [in] a suit!"

"I'm INTP and I'm trying to not stagnate, it's pretty weird, because it's seems easier to be moving than to start moving, so yeah moving is worth it I understand that logically, but that's not internalized and I just have incredible difficulty at starting to move forward, or even continue that without external help."

"i'm a intp, i love math, learning about things at school that are actually useful in my life, and the things that are not useful in my life i find it really hard to concentrate on."

"In school we had an art project once to do without the teacher. Just written instructions. I felt like I had understood what was asked and told my classmates. But they thought differently (in a actually wrong way). After ten minutes of pointless arguing I just left them where they stood and started doing my picture. I was practicly the only person who had time to finish. And I was the only one in my class that has understood the instructions correctly. In fact, this project had such bad results that the teachers didn't let it count for the grades. My whole class got Es and Ds while I got a B+. I got to keep the grade and dump another bad grade of mine."

"Used to think I was kind of a feeler and extroverted. Then I stayed alone over Covid... I invented a cure for aging and developed a new species of fish. I think I'm definately INTP. Absolutely nobody believes me, so I know that I must be one!"

"When I first saw the board, I saw Fe, Ti, Si and Ne. And literally it screamed out Iron, Titanium, Silicon and Neon."

"Although I’m not certain I am An INTP( I cannot figure it out!), the “everybody is stupid part” got humbled in me when I entered the oilfield workforce. I grew up with the idea that tradespeople are dumb, and if you aren’t university educated, you won’t be successful. After seeing firsthand that absolutely is not the case, and oftentimes we are struggling with the engineers( Usualt INTP) lack of foresight on their projects implementation. We also have this theoretical framework I use to learn how our plant works, but oftentimes it’s experience and outside the box thinking that operates the plant on a day to day basis. The framework is merely a framework, and reality is usually way different. Paper to implementation is never perfect. Tradespeople in my opinion are far more brilliant than those educated in our institutions and I find myself side by side with teachers, economists and the like. Something I didn’t mention was The humbling part for me was how stupid I was mechanically entering the work force. Able to explain complex plant processes but unable to drain a vessel to prepare for isolation( this is similar to how intps can become good cooks or drivers, by just doing it, million dollar concept eh??). I dedicated myself to doing things on my own like following manuals and YouTube videos for vehicle repairs and performing them myself. I am catching up to rest of my peers and once my working memory and mechanical ability are good, with my abstract ability I’ll be a very good plant operator."

"I’ve stopped doing it, now that I mostly eat lunch at home, but I had a habit of ordering only one dish in each restaurant I went to. My order was always the same, only the type of food changed. So, the waitress would see me and just put in my order. It was very efficient, I reasoned, no need to suffer through the ordering process every day. I wonder if they resented me for it or liked it."

"INTP's: say something that's obvious and really simple to us. ------------others:why are you so mean? ------INTP's: did you say something? ----Others: ...! ----- INTP: shrugs and goes back to absorbing information like a sponge."

"I am an INTP, but I don’t experience a lot of the apathy problems, mostly due to a dad that understands my needs. Also I understand the inferiority/ superiority paradox and constantly try to underestimate myself (still fail to see long term thinking in the majority of people) and try to give credit where credit is due"

"INTP female here; pretty accurate, feeling attacked lol used to be called ice princess as a child. my friends used to call me robot so when my [personality test] came out saying that INTPs are robots, my friends had a lot of fun with that."

"What would you say would be the cause for an INTP with a very messy apartment? I have a few things even from my high school days that haven't thrown away and I'm in my fifties. Also have trouble making decisions of what mail to throw away. Apartment at least navigable but not using nearly all the space that's available..."

"I have anger instead of apathy/indifference. I - or rather my Si - has gotten seriously tired of seeing the same mistakes happen constantly & their repercussions constantly affect my life too, so I can't bear to see people in my life make a similar mistake one more time; thus, I snap & I have to vent...."

"Don't fall into the trap of ignorance for Ti users: last known input or preferred input will make your Ti useless. You have to test and experiment with every opinion or premise, even if you disagree with them."

"A note on my physical environment: (I’m an intp) I do tend to set things down without even thinking about it, it’s like there’s a hidden part in my brain that decides when i want to put something down, and my body just does it, completely unaware. and since i don’t notice it, i can’t even consider whether the place i am setting the thing will lead to struggle in the future."

"[Me: Context-- Here's a rare 'brutally honest' INTP] I’m a woman who’s an INTP, and it’s definitely lonely lol I’m always correcting people, if what they are saying is false. I get told that most people don’t want to be corrected, and find it offensive. Which makes no sense to me. So I’m just rather indifferent when it comes to people. Same with advice, I’m brutally honest when people ask for my opinion/advice. They usually don’t accept it, and wonder why their situation didn’t turn out right"

"My fear of feeling like people around me are dumb have been quenched by my little brother being an ISTP, my mother being wise and my grandmother being an utter genius. If there are three intelligent people around me already there will be more. You will just have to find them and build networks of trust with people humble and knowlegable in their field. Edit: I had an emotional talk with my mother because I agree with my father (even tho his reasons are unknown) that my mother should stop funding my studies. Why? Because I feel like I need an incentive to do something, and I do nolonger want my father to have any authority to say anything to me. Just finally after 21 years to actually become a somewhat independent adult. I know I will always survive, but I am really stagnating."

"As a true INTP , i listened this while playing Sims 3 creating an INTP character , with music turned off while drinking coffee at 12:23 night. 10/10 would listen again. Anyway , i feel like only stupid people are repeating the same story over and over again. I have a rule , if i like a new person and we get close i use my crazy ... stories to "flex" and get close , but only one time. In fact if a person it's telling me the same story three times , im done, i send him/her to the "lame people zone"."

""Wisdom is like fire, it's truth. You gotta get burned in order to get closer to the truth."" THANK YOU. That was beautifully said."

AND LASTLY: INTPs who can't seem to pick a calling in life-- below is some advice (from Person B Person E, and Person F), commiseration, and soothing words of wisdom-- most INTPs change their jobs or career paths regardless because of their fluctuating interests!

Person A: "I am worried to pick my specialization. I dont know what to choose. I am interested in so many things and then i move on. Example: I love art, been going to extra curricular art class since childhood and we would try all different techniques. Even now when i do something, i am interested in it (sewing, knitting, editing photos, felting, clay modelling) and it never sticks long enough to become "proficient" in it, i do it just long enough to get the basics. I am using art or hand work techniques as an example, it is a hobby not a profession I wish to pursue..."

Person B: "Compare all interests, which one of them you stick to the longest and excites you the most. Use a scoring scale & hierarchy to compare so that it is easier to analyze. And then, refer to your Fe, of all those, which one would be the most beneficial to the society. Narrow down to 2-3 choices (you know it's hard to make one choice) and try exploring them (i.e take actions) to further make distinction which one is feasible for you to specialize in (I mean realistically). I was at one time that it is possible to me to choose any career path I want to, from medicine to architecture, from art and design to computer engineering. Just like in the video, a naive INTP decided not to choose because he knew people in those field and didn't feel like really great about them and thought it didn't feel too worthwhile to take on a path to be like them. I ended up compromising my specialization and chose a subjectively easier course just because I could continue learning other fields and I did learn them. Though right now, I didn't 100% regret my choice back then as I aspire to do integration of fields rather than traditional specialization, I didn't see any problem if I did choose one of the famous career path earlier and I might feel as fulfilling as I'm now but in different departments of fulfillment."

Person C: "I’m going through the same thing. I’ve completed my bachelors in science and I work as a youth worker... but I also want to be an author. In fact, it’s always been a passion but I’m just now realizing that. But I’ve also developed a passion in research while doing my undergrad so I’m wondering whether or not to pursue my masters since that might lead me to a more sustainable career"

Person D: "Everyone I Know: You are so gifted. You could literally be anything you wanted be without even trying. Just pick something. Me:.......There are so many options, but are any of them worth it. I fail to commit to one area of study and let years go by without moving forward in life."

Person E: "I think society puts so much pressure on what you're gonna do "for the rest of your life" and "it has to be the perfect fit FOREVER". Unfortunately it never works out like that, people change and you change, and you won't be the only person who will likely want to change careers later on in life, and that's ok. From what you wrote, it seems like you are more on the 'create and make' side of things, and I find that really cool, and I also think the best step forward would be to force yourself to stick to something and build it up a bit, after a while you'll find yourself comfortable with where you're at and you can either go to something else (creative jobs have lots of transferrable skills and you'll probably be very good at them if you wanted to) or stick with whatever you choose because it's now your new comfort zone Something that helped with my indecisive nature is reading a quote, basically: time will pass anyway, so might as well be a year in the future with a step forward towards a specific something than nothing at all."

Person F: "I struggled with this one for a bit at university when I found what I originally thought was the perfect profession that would blend everything together (medical illustration). I went to a school with a weak art program, wanted to transfer after the first year and felt guilty about starting something and not finishing it. I graduated with the degree but didn’t finish the art program. convinced a counselor to let me skip classes. Since I wasn’t at the level I needed to be 3 years ago, I changed my goal and decided to hold this one off until I’m way older. Do something for a few years then switch off when you’re ready for that next experience!"

WELP.

That's all for now!

If you want, I'll make another post in future-- maybe more INTPs, maybe some ISTJs (for Scully representation, post here~.)

Thank you for reading--

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: This is a self-assessed analysis. This information is not based on the abominable MBTI system (which has been butchered from its original Jungian typology since ~WWII); instead, it’s a combination between the works of Jung’s type psychology, Dr. Linda Berens’ Communication styles, Dr. Dario Nardi’s EEG brain scan compiled research, and others’ data and practices as compiled and simplified by CSJoseph. This system is based only on the Nature side of Nature/Nurture; and each “type” is not a “box” to fit everyone into– simply a tool to help understand the basics of the human mind that science has only begun to fathom in its limited scope.

[deathsbecome]

@helltechnicality: ❛ Well, if I’m repressing things I don’t know about, I am very okay with never figuring it out. ❜

yellowjackets s2 starters / accepting

"usually that doesn't go well, i think." not that her leaning into things had gone well for her. and she hadn't even been that open about it although some of the derogatory term people had used for her might indicate otherwise. she'd only ever really admitted it to her uncle, and, well, ruby. regardless, addy does absolutely have experience with the struggles of having to phase feelings like that.

"i think some part of me always knew there was something. but even then, i didn't really face it for...awhile. when it started really surfacing for me, i was devastated. the idea that i was different like that, having heard things about...i was always so focused on plans and that wasn't part of any plan i had. and when i realized i had feelings like that for ruby, it just hit me all at once. i remember breaking down to my uncle about it." which, in hindsight, could have gone far worse than it did, but at the time, she hadn't been able to stop herself from saying it.

"keeping things like they were hurt, being around her felt like someone hit me in the chest. she was dating a guy at the time, too, so that didn't help that feeling, as you can probably imagine." she gestures a little, glancing down. "i wrote her a letter and slipped it in her locker. i didn't sign it, and i thought that would just be it. that it'd let me just get it out that once and she would never know it was me and that we could just...move on without me having to actually put myself out there. but then i wrote another letter. and then another. and of course she knew it was me, she knew my handwriting, and...one of them i had drawn a little star on—i wasn't trying to give a hint, but i guess it was enough for her to know."

"i guess she knew for a bit that it was me, but she didn't say anything. but one night we were studying, and she brought it up. i wish i could remember more about that conversation, but the second she brought it up i was terrified. and she was just talking, and for some reason i just kissed her. and then the fear came back—i mean, she had a boyfriend and that was...it was a risk, to say the least. i just apologized and rushed out of there. we didn't talk about it for awhile, tried to just...act like it wasn't there, like something hadn't changed. but it had, and not long after her and her boyfriend split up, i found a letter in my locker. not signed, but it was from her."

she shrugs, fidgeting with her hands. she's never actually told someone else about that before. "point is, especially if you're already thinking about it, you can't just expect nothing to change. it's...pandora's box, in a way." she's hoping greek mythology references transcend her inability to explain feelings. "and i know you can't just make yourself okay with it. but trying to hide from it's only going to make it feel worse."

she smiles a little, tries to lighten things even if its not the most cohesive conclusion; "besides, you've been through...well, hell, literally. i think you're more than capable of not tying yourself up in knots over liking boys."

[life-on-the-dl]

This is a blog that I want to use to explore and detail my experience as a man on the Down Low or “DL,” which is how I will refer to I from the is point. For someone not familiar with this I’ll cover some F.A.Qs so as they come up throughout this blog you can refer back to them.

What is on the DL, as copied from Wikipedia, Down-low is an African-American slang term specifically used within the African-American community that typically refers to a sexual subculture of Black men who usually identify as heterosexual but actively seek sexual encounters and relations with other men, practice gay cruising, and frequently adopt a specific hip-hop attire during these activities. They generally avoid disclosing their same-sex sexual activities, even if they have female sexual partner(s), they are married to a woman, or they are single. The term is also used to refer to a related sexual identity. Down-low has been viewed as "a type of impression management that some of the informants use to present themselves in a manner that is consistent with perceived norms about masculine attribute, attitudes, and behavior".

That is pretty much it though I don’t adopt a specific hip-hop attire and don’t know of anyone that does but that’s the gist of it. I have been on the DL since 1996 when I was a senior in high school, at least that is the timeframe of my first experience though I could argue that I really didn’t embrace that lifestyle till the 2000s when I decided that I wanted to have an encounter with a man. Truthfully I did not even know about being on the DL till well past my first few experiences, I stumbled across it and the definition of it related to me. Though at the time it was a strong belief of those not in that lifestyle that any man who participates in that is considered gay. This was a time where men starting to identify as bisexual but even those men were still categorized as being gay or just confused gay men. I did not want that label and felt like keeping my experiences secret was my best choice. I had considered myself bi-curious to give myself a definition of where I stood but kept that to myself or communicated that when seeking someone to have a shared experience with. On some level I do regret it because the caution I took in doing so kept me from fully embracing experiences. The internal struggle I faced after hookups delayed me from figuring out who I am while I denied who I was if that makes sense. When the majority of society is screaming this point of view that you don’t agree with you hesitate to be brave enough to step out of the societal norms out of fear of facing those labels and repercussions. I did not want my family or friends to know and feared what would happen if they found out, though my sexual life is no one’s business we all tend to make it ours as a society. Additionally, I will often talk about masculinity and femininity. The conflicts of sexual acts that are considered feminine but as a masculine man doing can confuse you. I think as a young man that was a difficult path to navigate but as a middle age man I can tell that one does not mean the other. I’ll try to limit my rambles in this blog, as much as I’m gonna share in hopes of being relatable to others like me, this is also therapeutic on some level for me as I continue to navigate that lifestyle. I hope you join me on the trip.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I laughed so hard you did Lorenzo so dirty (facts though LMAO) hideous dog LMAOOOO I get it for sure though like ugly cute (heavy on the ugly) I really only enjoy seeing him when he interacts with Barou I truly cannot appreciate that man’s features

So real someone come save chigiri and the fact that those three say that all in the same match is WILD like can the crowd hear them talking at all when they’re broadcasted?? I’d hope not LMAO

Barcha being a two man team will never fail to make me laugh but they clearly did not get a lot of plot armor AHDGJS

Speaking of legs that reminds me of epinagi Nagi’s thighs after Zantetsu first hits him in the face like??? I need me a Barou though I want those scary dog privileges

Miratoya for life guys >>> I remember some people hoping they’d have the same va too (or Aiku and Nanami lol) but the va they chose def gives me the same vibe as Toji like…

Ok that’s why im torn LOL like the Shidou lines are so iconic but on the other hand if some of my friends try to connect the dots I gotta be ready to defend myself like I swear it’s not that deep it’s just soccer pls ignore whatever comes out of this character’s mouth

LMAOO hypebro shidou always ready to cheer you on I have no idea how Loki manages them though HAHAHA

NAH FR!! I think the generally decide characters for LN based off popularity….approximately anyways because I’m pretty certain Karasu is generally more popular than Yuki on the JP side (mainly due to shipping but I digress) but according to that sort of trend I’m praying….I definitely would not be opposed to a Nanase one either though!! Tbh I think he’s so cute and I love him too it’s just we barely see him so I don’t have much to go off of (besides him being real estate to Rin) I’d like to know how Shidou spawned into the world though LOLL

MARRIAGE FR HAHAHA like give me your hand in marriage please I’ll give you kombucha!!!! Man lied straight to our faces like the way he managed to find a Yankee’s (I think that’s the term they use) house too??? Like the odds that he didn’t stumble upon some average household too but fr like the man definitely has his own savings account and stocks portfolio like there’s no way (STOPP NO NOT THE FINANCE BRO that lowk slipped my mind but that reminds me of that tiktok audio that’s like “im looking for a man in finance” LMAOO)

Bro that panel is in like my top 10 Karasu panels LMAOAOA when he’s surveying the field and Isagi’s like lol you’re leaving yourself open dumbass and then Karasu whips out his arms shshshshs he’s so gorgeous <3(yeah he kinda looks like a penguin here now that you mention it but it’s ok pretty on brand if you ask me) always appreciate a good Karasu panel though so thank you for your service hehe

Also wait I forgot to bring this up but when I first saw the like official character design references (?? Like the visuals they release on the official website that have them looking like they’re getting their mugshots taken) I was thrown so far back by the jersey colors LMAOAOA I think it looks a lot more muted in the color pages of the manga and also (like the one in your header) shidou and rin take up so much space that you can’t see the details but Karasu and Otoya look like candy canes LMFAOOO and also Yuki/Nagi’s?? I usually like blue but something about it looks so off to me HAHAHA (also their faces but wtv ig)

-Karasu anon

this dog is how i see lorenzo LMAOAAO…but i should refrain from insulting him too much because if he ends up the way otoya did i’m going to scream!! i agree though i feel like he’s really fun w barou and honestly helps him loosen up a bit (even though barou and aiku will always be my fav random ubers friendship)

i feel like the crowd probably can’t hear them just because they’re not shouting or anything and they don’t have mics!! realistically it’s like how irl we don’t hear the players shit talking each other in soccer games but that doesn’t mean it happens yk?? regardless though there was…quite a lot being said during the u20 match LMAOAOA i need karasu and shidou to start saying unhinged stuff again!! like let’s spice up pxg vs bm a bit w some random nonsense from those too 😭 although ig rin has got it covered this time

HELP i had to go back and look and omg??? nagi’s whole build is crazy to me because even before soccer he was so jacked but he literally did nothing all day?? i need that kinda metabolism fr

MIRATOYA CANON 😜 except he’s abt to get a taste of his own medicine when i cheat on him w his best friend 😦 LMAOAO i agree though aiku’s current va has very toji vibes!! he delivered exactly what i expected from aiku

shidou is just shidou the more you think abt it the worse it gets 😩 omg loki is fr a saint like i know he’s being selfish and doesn’t care abt the team as long as charles develops but honestly i have to commend him for keeping his sanity while coaching that crazy blend of characters like i can’t even blame him 😭

nanase was just the only character i could think of that hadn’t gotten a ln besides tabieita and shidou that was also in bllk since it seems like they’ve only done bllk players so far?? but maybe now that aiku is in bllk and he was mentioned in barou’s ln we’ll get one on him. agreed though i’d rather see one for shidou!! was he born like this or did he experience smth that changed his life into whatever it is now?? apparently he didn’t play club soccer pre-bllk so how did he even get scouted??? he’s such a mystery LMAO

FRR he managed to find some bigass mansion and everything 😭 honestly i can’t even blame him if some random kid i barely knew tried to follow me home i would also take the opportunity to mess w him because what 😟 HAHA he truly is a man in finance unfortunately…he was even telling hiori he plays like city planning and stock management simulator video games?? karasu please…let me teach you about mario kart and super smash bros…please…

I LOVE THAT PANEL my fav is def the one in epinagi where he’s introduced and he calls kiyora and nagi dunces hold on let me find it

he just looks so smug and karasu-like in this??? LMAO idk he’s so handsome i love this panel sm

THOSE CHARACTER DESIGNS ARE SO SILLY HAHAHA did you see sae’s neon cleats?? 😰 i think they always look a little odd w the white background though…hopefully it’s a bit more muted in the anime!! it seems like they’re going for a darker color pallet this season (based on the trailer) so i am keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏻

[thespectrespecss]

SALT AIR...

Happy August 1st. Anybody screaming, “back when we were changing for the better....” the whole afternoon? No? Just me? Awright. HAHA It was quite a productive day at work. My Team Leader, who is actually a friend, coached me on more things I needed to learn in handling brands. I was able to cater to all the brands I needed to work on and even developed a storyline for an AVP we’re working on. One of my prayers last night was for God to just drop an idea to me but I know that ain’t going to teach me anything. In an attempt to formulate my own storyline, I found out I can work in collaboration with my team leader. Him telling me what the client likes, what our boss would like, and what the usual flow should look like. I was a little embarassed of the mistakes I’ve made but I got convicted, telling myself that he’s been in the industry for 7 years and I have onlye be here for almost 3 months. I stopped myself from going anxious about the mistakes and focused more on how to improve with the new knowledge acquired as my team leader guides me. So glad to also be talk to him about my intimidation with our design team. Personally, I just really feel like I am in no place to speak on whatever they’re doing coz, well that’s their thing. I don’t want to be that person that makes them lose their love for something. But it’s not like that. We’re catering to a spefici audience with everything we do, and we can’t just dump in our own flavor, style, and design. So I learned today to be a representative of the client in telling the design team of what I want to see.  Gosh. Representing. It’s been ringing in my ear since one of our leaders shared it in our kids team huddle last Sunday. I feel so critical of myself as a Christian. I give myself a hard time trying to live “perfectly” when even God knows I couldn’t actually do that. I think what I’m also trying not be is a representative of a group, a church, or even a household name. I want to represent Jesus and in representing him, I surely have to know what he wants to see so I could tell people about his goodness and his grace and how much love he’s willing to give. Just like how I should represent the client to the design team as I tell them what the output should look like, I should also learn what the client really is asking. And that’s not going to happen without me actually engaging with them and find out what they are about. Much like trying to tell people about the JEsus I’m representing. I can’t represent someone I don’t even know. And so I really have to fight for my moments with Jesus. To really know his heart and how he sees all the people. I mean, he died for EVERYONE. It’s not like he died only for a specific few. HE diesd for ALL our sins. ALL. No exeptions. He was that obedient to the father, and that loving to us. Gosh. How undeserving are we? Anyway, another thing I was able to stand firm to was not reading kids ministry group chats until after my shift. I’m so bad with notification, I don’t like seeing them so I have to open messages! But yeah, I think it helped with the focus. I got to set my priorities with work today and it was good.  Here’s a photo for reference:

Oh, and I also finally bought Wendy, the Squishmallow frog from the Mcdonald’s happy meal. Look how cute! 

Just also want to share that I applied for a specialized leadership program that we have in church. It’s a 12-month program where I get to somehow be like a trainee church staff (?), just to badly explain it but yeah, there’s that. And happy to say I got accepted! Was stoked and scared [more scared, tbh] to step into this new season in this program, but just also thankign God for ow everything have been so aligned with this. Somebody actually offered to pay for my term and whoever that is, coz I literally don’t know who it is, I just pray that person gets blessed hundredfolds.  And yeah, my “batchmates” already made a GC and we’ll be meeting for an orientation on the 29th. Hooray, I have work that day. Praying God just aligns my meetings on that week.  Oh, and here’s the GC:

Love the people in this GC already. Some of them were my batchments in the first year of this program. Love to get to do this with them again. Coz I kinda regret not trying to build relationship with them during our year 1... still had a lot of issues going on that time. HAHA Hmmm. What else? Oh yeah. I finally took a bath after 3 days.  It’s been too cold! As a lamigin person. [pero nakaiced coffee pa din lagi] I think that’s all I could share today. I still don’t know if I could keep on doing this everyday. I really want to practice my writing more. Let’s see. No need to overthink what’s still not here. wuw Anyway, here’s a selfie to cap this post. 

[thenightling]

Tumblr has discovered The Sandman...

Tumblr has discovered Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.   Here are some of the examples of proof of that discovery.  The good and the not-so-good.

1.   The Corinthian (A nightmare entity) has been referred to as a “Blorbo.”  Based on my understanding of the meaning of the word I am pretty certain The Corinthian probably should not be your Blorbo.  But then again you might be into that sort of thing.  I’ve seen some strange things in the Horror movie slasher fandoms.  Just know that if he was real it would probably not be safe to think of him as your Blorbo.

2.  The Corinthian has been called Cori and Cory respectively.   And so it begins...

3.  Morpheus has been referred to as a poor little “Meow Meow” and not while in his cat form.  And yes, I know he fits the criteria for the term.  It’s just this was the first time I’ve seen him called it without it being literally related to his cat form.   You have truly made it in the world of Tumblr when they start calling your character a Blorbo or Poor LIttle Meow Meow.  Whatever happened to Woobie?   I would think Morpheus would fit under “Woobie.”   

4.   I have seen Tom Sturridge (Morpheus’s Netflix actor) referred to as a DILF.  (Dad I’d like to ...have fun with).   As the term is usually reserved for older men, and I, myself, am forty, and Tom Sturridge is a few years younger than I am, this term usage came as a surprise to me. It turns out some fans are using the term quite literally as Tom Sturridge literally is a father.  I was used to the term being used specifically in regard to age.

5. Morpheus has been compared to a Disney Princess.

6.   A scene from the source material has been taken out of context to make the character look more like an asshole than he actually is even though there are plenty of real asshole moments as the character is on a long redemption arc.

The scene in question is when Matthew the Raven says “Penny for your thoughts.” And Morpheus responds with “You have no pennies, Matthew.”  Later Morpheus offers Matthew a literal penny in exchange for him voicing his thoughts.  Morpheus being too literal is what is happening here. Context matters.

7.  There are people trying to bluff having read The Sandman without having actually read The Sandman to try to gain clout in the fandom.   It’s okay to have not read it yet, guys. It’s a great read. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Go have fun.  I promise it’s not as difficult as some people make it out to be.

Someone genuinely tried to argue with me that the “White haired version of Morpheus” was not created by Neil Gaiman and was created long after he was done writing The Sandman.  If you have read The Sandman you would understand how wrong this is. 

Don’t try to bluff having read The Sandman if you have not.  We can tell.  We can always tell.  

8.  There are gatekeepers trying to intimidate new readers into thinking there’s nothing whimsical in The Sandman and that it’s “So deep” and “you won’t get it the first time you read it.  You have to read it a few times to understand it.”

Yes, there is darkness in The Sandman. It’s part dark fantasy / part Gothic Horror with moments of gore but there are light things too.   Don’t discourage new readers.   I promise the story isn’t as hard to get into as some people make it out to be. I know terms like “Classic” can make some people chafe.  Just give it a try.  If you don’t like the first issue, try the second. If you don’t like the second, keep going until at least issue four.  If you still don’t like it after issue 4, it’s okay to stop.  No one will judge you.  If you don’t like comic books, try the audio drama, it’s divided into chapters like a novel.  Each issue being a chapter.   If you don’t like it after chapter four, that’s okay.  You’ll know if you like it or not by then. 

9.  There is already fan art of Tom Sturridge as Morpheus in funny / ridiculous scenarios.  No picture is given here as I did not get permission from the artists to share them yet.

10. There are already people complaining about the casting without having watched the show yet. One faction claiming the casting is “too woke” while another faction seemed concerned that it’s not inclusive enough even though Desire is nonbinary and pansexual, Death is a black woman, Rose and Unity are black women, Ruthven Sykes is a black man, Lucienne is a black woman who wears spectacles, Lucifer (who has no set gender or even sexual reproductive organs) is being played by a woman, Alexander Burgess is gay, The Corinthian is gay, Johanna Constantine is bisexual, Cain and Abel are South Asian...      

There even seem to be politically charged rants complaining because the English language show, with an English cast, written by an English writer, has a lead actor with an English accent...

So what do I have to say about Tumblr discovering The Sandman? 

Well..

 Welcome to the Sandom!  

You’re in for quite a ride.   And don’t put your fingers too close to The Corinthian’s face.  Just... Don’t.

[coilserpent]

astrology observations pt. 11

*use sidereal measurements when referring to these

aries placement women would be the type to say “if i can do it they can as well what’s the deal” when in a relationship with someone, they don’t focus on having polarity necessarily because of the abundance of yang they have already within, they don’t need it from someone. it can also sound like “if you don’t give it to me, I’ll give it to myself” and it’s never personal they’re just like that.

cancer placements are so accepting of someones faults (emphasis on pushya nakshatra) that they get walked over by others sooo much, it kinda makes me angry to observe this pattern.

leo placements are going to treat you like royalty, you’ll never forget them. emphasis on magha.

saturn in pisces (UPB) will go through a lot of backtracking but it all pays off later, their success comes after a lot of 12th house work has been done, it helps if they have 12th placements as well.

ketu in the 12th have very vivid and often traumatizing dreaming experiences when they’re kids, with age they learn how to use the energy and can be good at healing themselves through meditation.

people with ketu/rahu in the 1-7 axis will be spending a lifetime balancing out the value of their place in other peoples’ lives and who they are for themselves, the main theme for both of them would be to find themselves on their own terms without putting others first so they can create genuine relationships and still being an individual, they will kind of jump from being attached to avoidant when dealing with others.

saturn nakshatras are all very introverted, especially with the moon. anuradha is in the middle usually but they would rather spend time with their close few people at most - they are picky about who they exchange energy with. pushya and uttara bhadrapada have self-isolating phases, they are into themselves but it’s really because they get tired of surface level interactions.

people with strong sun and weak sun are very easy to spot. they have very basal level characteristics in the way they carry themselves that are just there - energetically. naturally, weak suns tolerate poor behavior…like too much i am angry for you guys because you deserve better. even water suns do but they will get fed up at one point and then you’ll be completely cut out (scorpio cuts fast, cancer and pisces will drag it).

[lookbluesoup]

Writing US Military Characters

This is a non-exhaustive list of some common ‘quirks’ or habits that can give away a character’s military experience. Wrote it up for myself and it’s particularly useful when I want to show instead of tell. These are based on first person accounts from several vets! Thought others might like to use it too for a reference :D Ones with * or ** came up particularly often.

Like any guide, it’s just that - a guide, not a set of rules! A character is unlikely to do all of these, and other factors like ADHD, trauma, or just personality might effect what sticks. People are endlessly diverse! 

Eat, Drink, Dress, and Rest

* High tolerance for physical discomfort

** Eat very fast, and aren’t picky about the taste

** Can sleep anywhere - on a helicopter, in enemy territory, up high, underground, when it’s loud, when it’s quiet

* Can operate effectively without sleep for over 24hrs, or with erratic and limited sleep for days

** Wake up early, 0500-0700; Wake up quickly and ready for action

* Hair cut regularly. Beards stay clean shaven (alternatively some may avoid shaving when out of uniform)

** Dress practically and neatly, jackets buttoned/zipped up, ironed, polished

Take hat off indoors 

Organization and Talents

Gearhead

Gun nut

Detail oriented

** Pockets are meticulous. The same thing always goes into the same pocket, for easy reach. Pockets never full to bulging. Carry multitool.

** Hands stay out of pockets - ready. (Hands in pockets is forbidden in the military. Some Special Forces may keep their hands in pockets, as their ‘grooming’ rules are less enforced. Because they can)

Always carry things with left hand (and ”southpaws” must learn to use standard right-handed weapons)

** Know how to clean house and keep it organized (may choose not to out of uniform)

** Can make bed and shower fast

Organize clothes to be able to dress and maneuver their own space in pitch black (Navy specifically)

Know how to sew basic repairs (i.e. a button)

Layout items before packing. Tight roll clothes. Pack efficiently

** Can read maps effectively, may prefer them to a GPS, use landmarks

Deadlines not always considered concrete (There is a military mantra, “Hurry up and wait.” Often one would be told to complete something or arrive somewhere at a certain time, but nothing would happen due to someone else’s task meant to be finished earlier still being incomplete)

** Alternatively (or in tandem), arrive 5-30 minutes early to every event

Things kept packed securely in the car, “ready for sea” and “heavy rolls” (Navy specifically)

Routines and Social

** Respect for the “Other” or “Them” - other religions, cultures, races, and ethnicities - had to work crammed together with a diverse group that may have strongly opposing viewpoints, and learn to trust each other to have their backs in dangerous situations (For many, military is their first real experience with different cultures and beliefs)

* Respect ≠ Like. Will go above and beyond for a respected leader, even if they are disliked

Deeply suspicious of red tape, bureaucracy, and bosses on power trips, and will only do the minimum required for these

** Low tolerance for slacking/job skirting

* Volunteer other people for tasks, and willing to be volunteered for things

Don’t ask people to do things they aren’t willing to do themselves

Still follow orders of bosses they dislike. Still have the backs of coworkers they dislike

** Like clear orders, responsibilities, chain of command, and penalties

* Have Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C

Actions matter more than ceremony; definite respect for processions, but excessive reverence for the flag/anthem/etc viewed as posturing rather than true patriotism

High tolerance for boredom

** Adaptable, high stress tolerance, work efficiently, self reliant

** Avoid having their back to an opening (windows/doors/etc) or sitting anywhere someone can sneak up on them from

* Avoid loud, crowded areas, check perimeters, barricade doors, sleep last in a group (may coincide with PTSD)

Always walk on the right side of a road/grocery aisle/etc

Stand at parade rest, walk cadence, walk fast

* Walk quietly, even in boots, sneak quickly (military crouch run)

De-escalation in violence - in protective armed situations the standard is: 1) multiple warnings, 2) warning shots, 3) shoot to incapacitate. Shoot to kill is a last resort. (not following these steps could get an ally or potential ally killed) In verbal disagreement, resolve an issue before it escalates

* Wariness toward and tendency to feel Other’ed by civilians

* Immediate acceptance toward other military, expectation of shared values

Vernacular

Observe before speaking in a situation, only speak if it seems significantly important to

Refer to people as “Sir” or “Ma’am”

Giving out nicknames

** Speak directly, make direct eye contact (sometimes comes off as rude, often intimidates)

* Don’t take criticism or disagreement personally, expect others not to, either, and will point out flaws even to superiors (but again, orders are respected)

** Clear communication, acknowledge messages by replying, even if that’s just a thumbs up or down

** Swearing. Lots of swearing. Every other word is swearing

** Dark sense of humor, and racist/sexist jokes - not indicative of individual’s actual belief system or violent tendencies

Unbothered by angry yelling, angry quiet people are more concerning

** Point with ‘knife hands’, not just a single finger

** Use a 24 hour clock instead of a 12 am/pm; i.e. 0800 hours, not 8am (Called ”Military Time” in the US) 

Describe locations by o’clock directions, i.e. dog standing at 6 o’clock

* Write out dates as day-month-year (US usually does month-day-year) i.e. 21Oct57

** Use phonetic alphabet to spell things out, or at least have it memorized

** Habitually use military terms or sayings, including:

Good to go - Mission ready, ready to proceed

Squared away - Compliment indicating exemplary service

Popping a smoke - Need to get out of here [From using smoke grenades to call helicopters for extraction]

“Sir yes sir” [A ‘sir sandwich’] 

FUBAR - F*cked up beyond all recognition

SNAFU -  Situation normal, all f*cked up

TARFU -  Things are really f*cked up

BOLO - Be on the lookout

ATL - Attempt to locate

IAW - In accordance with

Civilian - Non-military person

Roger - Message received and understood

“Say again your last.” - What?

Firearm- Gun

Ruck - backpack

March - walk

Double time - running

PT - working out

Rally point - meetup

Field day - Spring Cleaning (Navy specifically)

Get smoked - Laps, pushups, etc as punishment

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse’s Girl

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Bullying, Swearing, Derogatory Terms

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N’s life as a regular college student is forever stripped away from her when her relationship with the famous YouTuber Corpse Husband is accidentally revealed during an online class of hers. How will she cope with the sudden spotlight and the unwanted attention, some of which crosses into bullying?

Requested by my amazing Tumblr friend @itsminniekat 🥰 She’s been reading and liking my works since day one and I honestly couldn’t be more grateful. If you’re reading this, all I can say is thank you, darling. Thank you so much for sticking by my blog even when I posted some crappy fics. I’ll make sure this ain’t one of them. Love you with all my heart. ❤❤❤

P.S. - I named the mean character with my name so I hope no one who reads this has the same name. Wouldn’t want any of you feeling like the villain 😘

Who knew online class would be even more boring than being physically present for a lecture? Seriously, I find myself doing the weirdest of crap to entertain myself - like trying to balance a pen on the tip of my nose for example. I jot down some notes every now and then but that’s basically it. My mind can not fathom the concept on concentrating on whatever my professors are going on and on about. Well, full disclosure, I couldn’t concentrate even if I wanted to, especially with my boyfriend streaming in the other room.

He’s currently playing Among Us with his usual gaming squad. Listening to his input during the discussions, I can always tell when he’s lying. I honestly find it hilarious that his friends can’t pick up when he’s bullshitting them. I sometimes wonder if he has brainwashed them. And that’s one of the main reasons we don’t play Among Us together - he can’t lie to me. Not only do I pick up on his con with ease, but he always says he feels bad when he lies to me which is just the sweetest thing. Also, I refuse to play cause I’m shy. His friends are all well-known content creators and I’m a literal nobody. Every now and then I find myself wondering why Corpse is even with me. He’s always quick to push those thoughts out of my head and make sure they don’t return on a long notice, but they do interrupt my peace from time to time.

“Y/N, do you know?“ The sound of my professor saying my name takes me out of my eavesdropping of Corpse’s stream.

I panic, but quickly improvise, “Sorry, my internet is slow, you cut out for a second. What was the question?” I feel my face heating up, making me glad we are allowed to keep our cameras off.

“Question number 15 on page 82 in your textbook. Do you know the answer to it?“ My professor repeats himself, his tone annoyed.

I look down at the page that’s already opened in front of me. I let out a sigh of relief, seeing that the question is rather easy.

“Yeah, um, it’s...“ Suddenly, Corpse’s laugh reaches my room loud and clear. There’s no doubt my mic picked up the noise, especially since the door to my room is open.

The color drains from my face as I hurry to say the answer and remute myself. My eyes are wide as I stare at my screen, hoping no one will acknowledge that very recognizable laugh.

“OMG Y/N, are you watching a Corpse Husband stream in class?” One of the bitches in my class, Vy, speaks up, “Not a very goody-two-shoe move on your part, dear.” 

I purposely unmute my mic to mumble a quick ‘Shut up, bitch’ that somehow manages to fly under my professor’s radar and the class continues. It’s the first time something like this has happened and I’m not sure if I handled it properly or not.

The class ends shortly after, allowing me a sigh of relief as I disconnect from the meeting. 

“Fucking finally.“ I mumble to myself, leaning back in my desk chair. Tilting my head backwards, I see Corpse standing in the doorframe. I grin, not only because his presence itself makes me ten times happier, but also because he’s upside down from my viewpoint. “Well, hello there! How long have you been spying on me?“

He struts over to me, leaning his face over mine, “Long enough.” His lips linger above mine without any actual contact before he pulls away, allowing me to sit up straight and proper in the chair. “You still have classes?”

I nod my head while disappointedly rolling my eyes, “Yeah. One more. Shouldn’t be too bad since it’s English Lit. You’re done streaming?”

“Yeah, I just have some other things to do. I haven’t done a narration video in a while, I miss making that type of content.“ He plops down on my bed, running a hand through his messy black curls.

“Weren’t you recording some lines a few days ago?“ I frown as I try to recall if what I’m referring to actually happened or my brain is too fried to decipher reality from my bootleg perception of it. Online class, man - messes with your head like sleeping pills - makes you disoriented and exhausted with barely doing anything other than trying to wrap your brain around a lecture or two.

He hums affirmatively, “It’s not a finished project and I don’t even know if I’ll use those or rerecord them. I’ll have to listen to them again before I make a final decision.“

I tilt his chin upwards with my pointer finger, a gesture he has told me he finds very endearing, “I’m sure they’re great and you just refuse to be satisfied. Everything you do is great.“

He smiles a small, shy smile, his fingers gently wrapping around my wrist, holding my hand in place, “You’re biased. You like me too much to tell me when I do some bullshit.”

I scoff, “You know that isn’t true. If someone’s gonna kick your butt in formation, it’s gonna be me.“ I give him a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away from him, “Go on, now. I have a class to attend. You distract me enough while you’re in the other room, I can only imagine how hard it’d be for me to focus if you were right by my side.“

He smirks, bowing a little as he makes his way out of the room, “You flatter me.”

I playfully roll my eyes, getting my headset back on as I tap the last class for the day. We have an assignment due to the start of the class which we’ll have to present if the professor approved of it. We basically had to write a psychoanalysis of a character from any book of our choice. I chose Heathcliff from ‘Wuthering Heights’ which is one of my favorite books of all time. I’m proud of what I wrote and the way I wrote it, but I’ve always barely scraped by with a B in this class, a B+ if I’m lucky, so I’ve never gotten any major credit, even when I put my 110% in the assignments and projects.

Well, color me surprised when the professor calls on me first to read my work, complimenting it on its detailed and specific nature. I get my printed assignment out in front of me and unmute myself.

“I wrote a psychoanalysis on for Heathcliff, a character from Emily Bronte’s novel ‘Wuthering Heights’.“ Just after I say this line, Corpse’s voice booms throughout the whole apartment, no doubt being picked up by my mic. It doesn’t sound like he’s actually talking, he can’t be that loud. I put two and two together when I recognize the lines he’s saying - the ones he recorded a few days ago. They’re coming from his computer speakers. He probably didn’t check the volume before playing back the recording.

I mute myself as quickly as possible, but it’s too late. The voice dies down as Corpse probably turned down the speakers.

My professor, who is already done with this lecture, just annoyedly remarks, her words overdosed with sarcasm: “Read your assignment and you can go back to whatever it is you are watching.”

“Wow, Y/N! Again?! Are you one of those crazy obsessed fans or something? Is Corpse Husband all you watch?“ This bitch is really poking a stick at me, huh? The only crazy obsessed fan here is her, and my friends but they are allowed. Little do all of them know, I am obsessed but not simply over a YouTuber. I’m obsessed with my boyfriend who just happens to be a YouTuber.

“No commentary, please.“ The professor scolds her, “Go on, Y/N.“

I finish reading without any other disturbances. The professor compliments my essay again when I’m done, the small incident at the beginning forgotten already. Well, not by everyone. One of my friends shot me a quick text to joke about it which only earned an eye roll from me.

My friends don’t know that I’m dating Corpse either. As I said, they are simping HARD over him while I act the most indifferent on the subject. Whenever they ask my opinion on him I either say ‘he’s OK’ or just avoid answering completely. I know saying anything more enthusiastic than that would turn into a snowball rolling down a snowy hill - I’d just keep babbling about how nice, amazing, wonderful and a gift to this world Corpse is, inevitably revealing our relationship in the process.

I’m afraid of revealing my relationship with Corpse in front of these people. They are all run on jealousy and selfishness and I can only imagine how mean they’d be about it. I’m already not too fond of them, it would only be worse if any of my personal life was exposed.

When the class finally ends I remove my headset, putting my forehead down on the desk, barely missing the keyboard. I groan in frustration and anger at myself for not fighting back. I could’ve and should’ve said something - ANYTHING. But what? That’s a question I can’t find the answer to.

“Hey...“ Corpse’s hesitant voice comes from behind me, “You ok?“

I straighten my posture, turning to him with a smile. “Yeah, but these people suck.”

I get up from my chair as he approaches me, basically falling in his arms. The comfort I feel radiating off of him makes me relax, forget the past hour or so. He has always had this effect on me. Like my own personal kryptonite to my anger and anxiety.

“Did I get you in any trouble because of that?“ His voice shows clear concern and guilt. 

I wrap my arms around him tighter, burying my head in his chest. “No, don’t worry about it.“ 

And I really wasn’t in trouble. Not until now that the video is officially posted....

I can call these people dumb all I want but they sure put two and two together awfully fast. They recognized the lines they heard during class as the same ones from his new video that came out almost a week after the incident, aka two days ago. It’s safe to say I haven’t touched my phone or computer since.

“This is all my fault.“

Of all the horrible things I suspected would happen this has to be the worst - Corpse is blaming himself for it. I am prepared to take all the shit these people have to throw at me but seeing Corpse beating himself up over this is killing me. No amount of convincing can change his mind. Nothing I say helps.

“Please, stop doing this to yourself. Non of this is your fault, Corpse.“ I’ve repeated this sentence more than a thousand time these past forty eight hours, each time saying it more and more desperately.

“All of it is my fault, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I hate myself so much.“ Has been his reply single time.

 I can’t watch him be so mean to himself. It’s the most conflicting thing when the person you love most is torturing themselves. It’s easy if it’s someone else doing it, you just kick their ass. But what are you supposed to do when the person you want to protect is the same one you need to protect them from.

Corpse has shut himself away in his recording room these past few hours and though he clearly needs to be alone, he still left the door open just a crack cause he knows I’ll be worried sick otherwise.

While I’m alone in the living room, I’ve finally managed to brace myself and build enough courage to power up my laptop. Last time it was on it was going mad with notifications.

“It’s digital. Only digital. It can’t hurt you too badly if it can’t touch you, right?“ I mumble to myself, already frustrated despite not having yet seen all the horrors that await me.

And horrors there were. Everywhere. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook.

My grades. Some pictures of me no one has ever seen. My school files. People from my class tweeting Corpse to ‘expose’ me for the ‘slut’ or ‘bitch’ I really am. Corpse hasn’t touched social media either and I plan on making sure it stays that way. God only knows how much worse he’ll get if he sees these claims.

And then, like a notification sent straight from hell, an email from my professor.

Practical lectures on Friday. Be here at 9 AM. Don’t forget your mask and gloves.

Good thing I opened my laptop when I did. Friday is tomorrow and I need to prepare for this day. Not only do I need to hit the books but I need to toughen up a bit. I can’t go there looking like I feel - like a mess.

Alright, time to put the brave face on. No more wallowing in it, at least not until tomorrow afternoon.

I make a study plan and hop in the shower. I feel the need to apologize to my hair for washing it so roughly, basically yanking at my strands from frustration that has been suppressed for too long.

I get our of the boiling hot shower, red as a lobster, and change into some clean comfortable clothes and put my ass in study mode. I remove all the scary expectations of the morning to come from my mind and let the information the textbooks has to offer seep into my brain.

                                                            *  *  *

I’m about to head out and, despite my put-together composure, I am a wreck inside. I actually put effort into my appearance, I mean - I even styled my hair. A pretty façade to hide a ruin.

I saw my friends’ texts last night, all three of them ending their friendship with me because they felt betrayed. I haven’t yet decided how to feel about that. Doesn’t matter at the moment, there are more important matters at hand, aka surviving the next three hours.

My college is within ten minutes walking distance from our apartment. That ten minute walk has never been so stressful, not even during exam season. The air feels a little harder to breathe, the path a little shorter to walk. And my moment of reckoning a little too close.

I feel eyes on me the second I start walking through the park of our campus. Sure, I could just be paranoid, but the feeling is too real to be just my imagination in overdrive. I’m glad I have my hair down and a mask on so the redness of my cheeks and neck isn’t on display. That’s a sign of weakness right now.

We have two an hour and a half long classes between which we have a snack break that’s half an hour. I usually enjoy that period but I’m dreading it now. These assholes can only be so mean in the presence of a professor, but during lunch break they can increase that tenfold. 

“Well if it isn’t Corpse’s girl.“ I hear that a lot. The whispers are not so much whispers as intentionally loud enough for me to hear remarks. I’m not bothered by them, it’s the least they can do. If I let such a simple thing get to me, I’d be crumbling by the end of first period.

I hear some shuffling behind me and out of the corner of my eye I see, yeah you guessed it, THAT bitch. She’s standing as close to me as she can without violating Covid regulations. A mask is covering her face but the menacing look in her eyes tells me all I need to know about the interaction that’s about to go down.

“I’d ask how much he pays you for the hour.....“ her long nails tap the wooden desk, “but that’d be rude. I bet it’s tough being a maid. Do you just clean or are you a multipurpose lap dog? No offense, I’m genuinely curious.“

“Vy, would you be so kind as to give Y/N some room to breathe?“ The professor asks as he nonchalantly walks in.

Vy rolls her eyes, batting her eyelashes at me, “Talk to you later, sweetheart.” With a fake friendly wave she’s out of my hair, at least for now.

Remember what I said about these people not being as dumb as I pegged them to be? Yeah, scratch that. These fuckers actually tried getting away with taking pictures of me with flash in broad daylight. Like, HELLO! I have two functioning eyes and a brain, I’m onto you. Sadly, me having figured out their childish but hurtful methods of humiliating me doesn’t change much. They still posted the pics they took, using the most derogatory terms they could find in the English language, always making sure to tag Corpse and me both.

Needless to say, these were the longest three hours of my life.

                                                              *  *  *

Shutting the door to our apartment behind me causes relief of the highest levels. I feel like I’ve locked out all the bad shit I have had to deal with these past twenty four hours. 

I’m tired. I’m fucking exhausted. I feel like a discarded piece of paper. 

And it all starts crumbling. A wall is bound to start slowly falling apart after being hit over and over again, each time feeling the blows with a stronger intensity. 

I slide down the door sitting down on the floor and slowly taking my shoes off. I put my bag beside me and wrap my arms around my knees, hiding my head in the space between them and my chest.

One tear slides down my cheek.

Another follows.

And another, this time accompanied by a choked sob.

A pair of arms wraps around the ball that my body has been shaped into. One of his hands comes up to stroke my hair gently, feeding me the comfort I have been longing for since I left the apartment this morning.

“I saw it. All of it. All the shit they talk about you. All the names they call you. And I’ve never wanted to beat so many people up simultaneously.“ His words make me raise my head from its low position, giving him a knowing look. “I wish I could. I would, but that would land me in jail. Which doesn’t even sound so bad cause I don’t like going out. Only problem is you wouldn’t be with me. I wouldn’t want you to be there with me, don’t get me wrong, I’d never want you to end up in jail. I-...” I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. A quick kiss that says so much but mainly shows the immeasurable gratitude for his support.

Seeing those awful tweets and comments had the complete opposite effect on him. He no longer blames himself but the people who actually deserve the blame - all those jerks from my college.

I pull away, giving him a small smile. “I would never let you go to jail.” 

He smiles back at me, overjoyed that my mood is slowly being lifted, “Come on, I have a nice crowd that would like to meet you.”

I know exactly what he means. Felix, Sean, Rae, Dave, Sykkuno and the rest of his friends. The people I’ve been so shy and afraid to meet since day one. Being shy doesn’t really make sense now, seeing as how they know I exist and that I’m a part of Corpse’s life. 

What do I have to lose?

“Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N.“ Corpse’s black avatar runs around my cyan one in the Among Us lobby.

I can’t help but giggle when I unmute my mic, “Hi everyone! It’s so nice to finally meet you.“ They each introduce themselves, expressing how happy they are to be meeting me too.

It’s the first time in what feels like a while that I’m truly having fun. These people are wonderful, each so unique and lovely. They never brought up the scandal nor acted as though they knew about it. I know they did and I am beyond grateful that they never mentioned it or treated me any differently because of it. Also, Corpse was streaming the whole time. I had my phone on his stream, my eyes nervously scanning the chat every now and then. I couldn’t believe it. Corpse’s real fans were just as wonderful as his friends - they were nothing but supportive and happy to have met me.

Now, I can either choose to believe these people were being so nice to me out of sympathy or I can believe they really like me and appreciate me for who I am and not for what happened to me. 

I choose to believe the latter.

And while I’m still getting accustomed to this whole new spotlight, I know I’ll be able to handle it as long as I’m holding Corpse’s hand in the process. All I need is to have him beside me and I’m prepared to tackle anything.

“They love you.“ Corpse tells me once the stream is done and we’ve hopped out of the Discord call, “But I love you more.“

His arms wrap around my waist while mine instinctively find their way around his neck, “I love them, too. But they’re at the number 2 spot.”

He smirks at me, “I wonder who’s at number 1.”

I push up on my toes, putting my lips an inch away from his, “Hmm, I wonder...”

He doesn’t let me finish, silencing my teasing with a sweet, loving kiss.

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