#sorry if this is rude or anything i just dont believe in gatekeeping

[bunnidid-reviews]

hello 🌷 I hope you're doing well. i wanted to ask and I hope this isn't offensive in any way.. so those w did and osdd have the word system to refer to themselves as, right? what about the c ptsd fragments / parts? some r saying that they give their parts names even, but I don't do that.. tho I do want to make it clear to my loved ones that I am fragmented if that makes sense, and maybe even tell them what this ep does and how my anp usually behaves but im confused. i don't want to make it look like im different people but I know they get confused when I differently to protect myself or shift states, so I do want to explain!! im not in the community yet hence why I asked. thank you and I apologize if this was rough to read. ☺️

Hi anon! Thanks for reaching out. Pls note I’m not a professional and can’t give advice or speak for how the community feels, just going off my own experiences

So I’m a full supporter of using what language makes sense to you and your loved ones when explaining what’s going on for you. If that means using system language to describe it all, theres literally no issue with it at all, especially when its just between you and loved ones anyway. Sorry, but I’m not going to gatekeep words, thats silly! People might get confused if you talk about it in a more public way but thats about it.

I frequently change up my words according to who I’m telling about this all, depending on what they understand. Not everyone knows I have DID but I’ve had to explain what happens sometimes because I’m pretty overt with my presentation and I don’t really like having to do the whole ‘do you believe me or are you going to be fucking weird about this’ song and dance.

Here are some words that might suit you, based on things I’ve used to explain my parts without outing my DID entirely that you may or may not find useful:

- parts of self (‘this part of myself’, ‘the traumatized part of myself’, ‘the part of myself who struggles with this specific thing’, etc. descriptors help a lot to differentiate)

- trauma brain and present brain (easier, snappier, more to the point than ANP and EP, nicely not specific to any one part. Sometimes people use left brain and right brain to explain their logic side and creative side, so its the same kinda thing)

- using animals to describe whats going on (my housemates use things like ‘feeling stalked by hyenas’ when feeling urgency, or ‘hiding like a wounded animal’. This is pretty normal too, like ‘a deer in headlights’ used to describe someone whos frozen or confused)

- age descriptors (‘me at seven’, ‘teenage self’, etc. )

- job descriptions (‘the part of me that can go to work’, ‘the aggressive part of me’, ‘the part of me who cries all the time’. Makes it easier to get to the point of what this part does)

As for a system of parts, if you don’t feel comfortable using system, here are some others I’ve used:

- animal groupings (a flock, a murder, a herd, a colony, whatever works here)

- computer or machine terminology (‘my inner processing unit’, ‘my folders full of memory files’, idk I use the term ‘programming’ a whole lot with my loved ones because of how theyve said that I respond like a robot, but I’m certain some people here would be upset that I use their Very Special Terms. But if its in the privacy of your own home I really do not think it matters)

- Literally any sort of grouping analogy, whatever makes sense to you and feels right. You could say a jar full of trauma buttons or something idk! Up to you! Get creative with it

R and I constructed an understanding of my DID without using the Big Community Words because it was just me and him figuring it out for a few years. Things like The Personas (instead of parts or alters), the Council Of Bunny, trauma brain/present brain, The Guys In my Head.

When it comes down to it, you and I are on the same spectrum anyway. DID is not some special disorder, its just C-PTSD with extra steps really. So I wouldn’t worry too much about all this. I wish you luck in finding words and phrases that suit you and your loved ones’ understanding of what’s going on. Having someone Know helps so so so so much

And also if I totally misunderstood and you were just wondering what the C-PTSD community uses.. i have no idea sorry! Maybe look into inner child language? I’m not even caught up on my own community

[b1mbodoll]

this is so insane.. first of all, i have an inbox that is completely full. im not purposely ignoring anyone it’s just hard to reply to every ask i receive. i’m not “gatekeeping” anything just bc i havent had time to reply. i literally posted at the beginning of the month that i’d be busy this month, and you’re a disgusting person for saying all of this.

if you were so curious and no one was responding, you can google it. that’s what i did, i didn’t go out of my way to make someone feel like shit because i felt entitled and rude.

pretending not to know my name when it’s pinned is so funny, like you’re seriously acting like this just bc you’re mad people are too busy to respond… again i’m sorry i didnt reply, it wasnt purposeful, but you’re so disrespectful and a terrible person for sending this.

next time you wanna act like a hardass come off fucking anon and say it with your chest. or are you too scared i’ll block you?

if you dont like me then block me or message me off anon so i can do it, weirdo. also thanks for bodyshaming! LOL ur a fucking weirdo ive never been more serious. fuck you, seriously.

i really dont give a fuck what you think about me and my anons 😭 hate to break it to you but you’re worse than me and my nonies!!!! theyre silly flirts but you’re just a weird, entitled coward. i can’t believe petnames and flirting make you this upset, it’s sad.

also “non valuable anons” … yeah ur odd! all of my nice anons mean so much to me. doesn’t matter how much they interact with me or whether or not they use an emoji -_- dont ever call my nonies “nonvaluable” just bc ur pressed over a color gradient.

it’s crazy that YOU of all people, are telling me to seek help. you came into my inbox bitching and being soso awful over something you couldve googled. i think ur the one that needs help, to be honest. bet it’ll be hard finding someone to help you fix that disgusting personality of yours.

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[for-peace-war]

Long Post! Hit J if you want to skip!

My guild has recently had a lot of conversation on Jessica Price and Peter Fries who were recently fired from ArenaNet’s Guild Wars 2 development team.  I’m pretty sure that most everyone that could care has heard about it, but what is confusing me is why people are trying to die on hills for two people that really did not come across as anything other than gatekeeping assholes.

To be clear, if you disagree with this statement then that’s fantastic.  Because I am posting this on social media, I am expressing tacit approval for you to respond to it, dislike it, deconstruct it, or whatever you wish.  This doesn’t mean that I have to like what is being said, but the condition that “if I post this on the internet, then someone may reply to it” is a fairly sound one.

To cut through a lot of the fluff, I’ll summarize:

A developer, Jessica Price, was on her personal twitter discussing the problems with MMO development.

Per usual, a mob formed to express their opinions.  It’s the Internet, so that means saying a lot of crude, disgusting, sexist, and absurd things.

Within this mess, one person - Deroir - decided to voice his own opinion.  I wouldn’t say that he’s an expert (I wouldn’t say that she was either since Guild Wars 2 is a mess...) but I will indicate that among the throngs of the “laymen” (as Fries put it), he at least has some affiliation with the IP. 

Deroir Says: Really interesting thread to read! However, allow me to disagree *slightly*. I dont believe the issue lies in the MMORPG genre itself (as your wording seemingly suggest). I believe the issue lies in the contraints of the Living Story's narrative design; (1 of 3) When you want the outcome to be the same across the board for all players' experiences, then yes, by design you are extremely limited in how you can contruct the personality of the PC. (2 of 3) But, if instead players were given the option to meaningfully express *their* character through branching dialogue options (which also aren't just on the checklist for an achievement that forces you through all dialogue options), (3 of 4 cause I count seemingly...) then perhaps players would be more invested in the roleplaying aspect of that particular MMORPG. Nonetheless, I appreciate the insightful thread! (End)

To which Price replies: thanks for trying to tell me what we do internally, my dude 9_9

And Deroir replies: You getting mad at my obvious attempt at creating dialogue and discussion with you, instead of just replying that I am wrong or otherwise correct me in my false assumptions, is really just disheartening for me. You do you though. I'm sorry if it offended. I'll leave you to it.

The above is their initial discourse and honestly because I don’t feel like posting all of the tirade that follows, I’ll leave it at that for now.

The initial concern was: Should Jessica Price have been fired for ‘going off’ on Deroir? An example of things said:

“Like, the next rando asshat who attempts to explain the concept of branching dialogue to me — as if, you know, having worked in game narrative for a fucking DECADE, I have never heard of it — is getting instablocked. PSA I’m not on the clock here. I’m not your emotional courtesan just because I’m a dev. Don’t expect me to pretend to like you here.”

That is not acceptable, at all.  I would fire anyone that was interacting with my customers while being associated with me, on the basis of that alone.  It is true that she was on her own “private” account, but she was discussing work related information, using her work related title, and using her work related position to open a dialogue (or a monologue, as it seems) with those that were actively purchasing my product.

There have been arguments that he mansplained (read: explained something to her as if she were unaware despite her experience based on her gender) and then secondary calls that “she had dealt with a lot of harassment before so this wasn’t her fault,” but those are two faulty premises:

First, because she was the one that opened this discussion on social media.  If she wanted to avoid responses or only take on “educated information” then she could have either placed it in an article or circulated her complaint among her former co-workers. 

Second, if there was a sea of hateful people that had been harassing her, then this hardly seems like the right time to “take it out” on someone.  I do not know the struggles of women on the Internet, but I know what it’s like be a black person on the Internet so I can say only that while it is true that you will always assume a certain amount of hostility, just taking it out on the first person that speaks is absurd.  

If, for example, there really was a rabid mob crying for Price’s blood, then why wouldn’t she unload her ‘emotional courtesan’ spiel on them and not someone that as objectively as possible was being inoffensive if not a bit tone deaf to her mood? The self-fulfilling remedy that he “was mansplaining” as justification for her very rude tirade absolutely does not address that his only offense was again, speaking to a very neutral point.

What is worse, this has become a matter of someone being fired over her gender rather than the truth of the matter, which is that she was just an asshole.  People are canceled, rightly, from minority groups all the time.  If Kanye West flew off the handle on someone, I wouldn’t rush to defend the ‘slavery is a choice” dude even if it is good to have black men in the spotlight.  Cut the string and let them drown under the undertow of their own shit, as far as I am concerned.

Arguing that systemic oppression mandates random aggression is not appropriate.  Certainly it explains why it happens, but as we all have our own independent dignities then you cannot justify a random attack as one that was “deserved.” Let us remove from the discourse that Deroir was a person affiliated with GW2 and leave it simply at a person says something that a person at a public forum doesn’t like.  Because, private or not, twitter is public and social media...  And that person then starts shouting at them for being an asshole, in what way is that permissible or excusable?

It isn’t.  The company was right to fire her, not because of “capitalism” or “corporatism” but because she acted out of line.  If anything, many of us have learned there is a higher burden against us for the fact we are of a protected class, yet that is not an excuse not to aspire and to strive.  Female developers are pretty undervalued and underrepresented in the gaming industry, so why would she throw away her chance like that?

If you argue, “well she doesn’t have the responsibility of putting on for anyone else other than herself,” then you immediately invalidate the need to protect her.  Being a woman is not the same as being a representative of what women can do. Margaret Thatcher and Joan Rivers are not hailed as feminist icons for a reason.

Now the “gatekeeping asshole” part comes up when you get into the nitty gritty of what Fries, who was also fired (and as far as I know identifies as a male), added to the conversation:

“Here’s a bit of insight that I legitimately hope he reflects on: she never asked for his feedback. These are our private social media accounts — imagine you’re an astronomer and you start sharing some things you’ve learned in the last few months since you began a research project observing Saturn, only to have observation techniques explained to you by a layman ... Jessica is great at her job and deserves to be treated with respect.”

The sentiment doesn’t hold water for quite a few reasons, so let’s deconstruct those because that’s what this post is about.

First, we’ve already touched on “these are private social media accounts.”  Yes, we know they are “off the clock,” but they are discussing their job all the same.

The example of an astronomer also really sets the pace for what is to follow though. Is a game developer like an astronomer?  A person that more or less puts down the tracks that players work through? I don’t think the requirements between the two are remotely similar, but let’s move beyond that and say, an astro-physicist like Neil deGrasse Tyson decides to get into a conversation with some people at a local pub!

Neil is a little miffed about research on Saturn’s observation and one of the pub goers chimes in that maybe it’d help if they used some of the techniques learned in deep sea exploration to observe Saturn.  

Immediately, Neil says “Thanks for the non-answer, my dude” and then returns to say “And by the way, you colonizing piece of shit, I work at the Rose Center of Earth and I know than you ever possibly could, so next time you open your mouth remember that I know more than you ever will because I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, shithead. I’m not your emotional porchmonkey.”

I mean...

I assume you’re going to get a tap from someone about how that wasn’t okay to say? Now even if there were a lot of people getting boisterous, why pick that person out? Even if this is your “go in moment” why pick a person that’s inoffensive?  Because you have something to prove.  And well, the company has something to prove as well: it isn’t going to allow its image to be tarnished.

But at the heart of it, is this concept that the people she discussed this with are the knuckle dragging laymen incapable of understanding the Promethean wonder that is game development.  If that is the case, then why discuss it at all?  The questions continue to pile and the explanations became weaker.

In the end, I don’t like ArenaNet but I also think Reddit is a disgusting pit of scumbag racists, sexists, and shitlords.  That being said, it really sucks that both of these companies had an easy pass to drop two people that were clearly negative elements to their environments.  

This isn’t a hill worth dying on.  Hell, this isn’t even a hill worth stopping and getting a picture of.  Because at the end of the day?

Jessica Price isn’t right.