#I don’t think this is a unique experience at all but I think it might say some things about my writing :o

[jjwolves]

Hey!!!

Just wanted to request something and say that I really like your writing and your sona! Really silly

Anyway, if you can, may I have some general ‘x reader’ headcanons for Bellham/Suspicious Man from DBBQ?? I don’t see a lot of content of him on tumblr or anything else, and its a shame, I REALLY LIKE HIM!!!!

Thanks you!!!

SAMADHI ︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

What: 5 Headcanons for Suspicious Man X Reader

Who: Suspicious Man from ENA Dream BBQ (By Joel G)

How Much: ~900 Words, ~4 mins

Warnings: Stalking (?)

Suspicious Man is confusing, and it’s not remedied by the fact that he rarely elaborates on anything he says unless prompted, and even then, you need to ask the right questions. It follows, then, that you hadn’t even realized that you two were dating until you were halfway through an admittedly romantic glowing bonsai tree-lit dinner and he said, “I’ve been waiting. To find someone like you. For. A while.” Taking a break from eating a gourmet Medicine Branch, you asked what he meant. “Well. I am glad. That our paths. Crossed. Crossed? Intertwined.” Deciding to get bold, you elected to ask if he loved you, because you were pretty sure you loved him. He was such a unique guy; you doubt he’d make fun of you or be rude about it. His ominous smile grew a little wider, two sets of hands interlocking conspiratorially. Was he feeling amused or bashful? Hard to say. “Yes! I thought that I. Was being obvious.” He was not.

Suspicious Man is a creature of hedonism and scholarship. When he’s not experiencing the highest cosmic highs of senses, he’s busying himself with extensive study of anything he feels would be worth learning. He’s extremely knowledgeable, and as such, he seems to know a lot of things about you that you don’t recall ever telling him. “It is habit. For us. To go. Where I want to go. So. We must go. Where you. Want to go. Which is presumably. Presumably? The Blooming Heaven Well.” Well, you did want to go there—it’d been one of your favorite places in all of your travels. But how did he know that? “I study. Things that. I like. That fascinate me. Hehehe!” You should recoil, but you like him too much, so you squeeze one of his hands instead. It’s only for a moment, but his mouth drops the shady smile and adopts a surprised ‘o’. “You know. Feeling this is. Different. Than reading about it.”

It’s not long before he introduces you to his favorite place, a dark winding place of bookshelves and pipes and dust which floats off of the floor and forms little shapes for you. And deep, ominous bells playing far away, yet echoing all around you. It’s creepy and macabre, but knowing Suspicious Man gives you the sense that he’s showing you something personal and close to his heart, so it takes on a warm, intimate atmosphere. One of his favorite things to do here is feast on strange but delicious food with you. Flesh branches dipped in candle sauce. A cornucopia of colored triangles. Gray biscuits with ghostly faces on them lathered in some sort of psychedelic glaze. It is completely epicurean. It’s absolutely an endless chasing of the senses. But being together for a meal gives it a sense of wholeness, like there’s meat beneath the spice that is pleasure. Like there’s substance to this time spent. Suspicious Man thinks that he might have found a new favorite activity. “I think. We’ve found our own. Form of. Enlightenment?”

It might not come as much of a surprise to anybody, but Suspicious Man might be a little… evil. He enjoys putting hexes on entities who annoy him. He likes vexing and mocking his bell servants. At the very least, his evil tendencies are directional—he’d never do anything to hurt you or even inconvenience you. He does like to test you, though—see if you’d like to have a taste of the dark side. Not necessarily because he dislikes your goodness. In fact, he enjoys it. He simply likes to offer you the experience, like offering someone a glass of wine after you’ve already poured yourself some. Once, after you had been rudely denied passage by a doorkeeper entity, you found them tied up and squirming around in red string, suspended above the ground of Suspicious Man’s realm. Suspicious Man handed you a cursed talisman and playfully wiggled your arms around. “What. Ever. Will you do?” You were pissed at the entity, sure, but it wasn’t worth cursing them and turning them into a mango or whatever this talisman did. You elected to set the doorkeeper free. “Sad choice! But fair choice. Either way. I like your choices.” Sometimes his minions seem a bit relieved when you're around; it's like he kicks them around a little less whenever you're watching. Whether he's doing this to see if you'll say something or because he cares what you think, you'll never know.

Your incredibly sinister boyfriend has a funny habit of tying the red strings on his fingers into different shapes when he’s talking. You want to see the limits of his special ability. He gives an amused sigh. “Okay then. Let us. See.” You want him to do… a bunny! He fiddles around for a few moments before forming a rabbit’s face. “What an. Interesting creature. You’ve chosen.” OK, now do a spider. The result is a bit wonky but it definitely looks the part. “I am. Quite fond. Of this one.” Hmm… Now he should do an ENA. He creates a very simple outline of an ENA’s face. “I have. Studied them. Them? Extensively. A face is. Easy. Easy? Enough.” OK. You tell him that, since he’s done so well with the other ones, he should come up with one that he wants to do, and you’ll guess what it is. He takes a few moments to pull the strings in different directions, thoughtful. When he’s done, it’s a cartoony rendition of your face. His other hands pull the strings into hearts. You blush. “I think. This one is quite. Enchanting. If I do say so, myself.”

A/N: I kind of headcanon him as someone who is, like, the opposite of a Buddhist. Like he understands the entrapments of the physical world and of desire but willingly flies headfirst into it because that is how he chooses to exist. A very intentional self-destruction (or perverse kind of self-fulfillment).

[guardian-of-time-if]

sorry for the code diving question, but, the ROs have attraction stats in MCs customization and race selection. Will their preferences come up later in the story or will it just be a hidden stat thing?

Hi Anon, I want to open with a general reminder that I don’t usually answer code diving questions. There are some spoilers in the code that I really want to keep hidden, but I know a lot of readers really like the convenience of it, so I’ve decided to leave it on for now.

This question isn’t very spoilery, and I’m pretty sure a lot of people will be curious about how it works once it starts coming into play in the next chapter, and I haven’t really seen any other IF’s utilize an attraction mechanic. I’m still going to leave it under the cut for those who would rather experience everything blind 

Before I answer Anon’s specific question, I want to give an overview of how the attraction system is going to work. So each RO has an attraction stat that is completely separate from the romance stat and the MC’s general attractiveness stats, that will track how physically attractive the RO finds MC at first glance. These points are acquired during the customization sequences. Not every detail of MC’s appearance will influence these points, and some will accumulate points easier than others. All of the attraction points will be based on the type of woman the RO’s are typically attracted to. 

So, what do they actually affect? Their exact usage will depend on the specific RO, but in general they affect the initial flirt interactions where the RO will react differently if he has a high attraction stat vs a low one. OR if you have a high attraction with an RO you aren’t intending to romance, you may get a unique reaction than if you have low attraction and don’t romance them. Once you lock in a romance route, currently outlined for the opening of chapter eight, the attraction stat will be used much less, and on some routes potentially not at all. 

If you successfully romance an RO, they will always find the MC attractive. I just want that to be clear before people start panicking. That’s part of why it’s a hidden stat, I want people to make the MC how they want her to look, but I also thought it would be interesting to take the RO’s existing preferences into account.

Will their preferences come up later in the story or will it just be a hidden stat thing?

I’m going to leave the exact preference a hidden stat thing, at least for now, if people are really desperate to know, I might make a post about it, but I’d rather people build the MC they want instead of the MC the RO’s will find most attractive. That said, I can’t say with certainty if any of the guys will mention their preferences in the story. I don’t really plan the specifics of the RO moments except for what character arc information needs to come out when, so we’ll see what makes it into those conversations once all of the RO’s are introduced. Plus, sometimes the characters like to change my plans in the moment. (Nax especially likes to disregard my opinions and do whatever he wants.)

That is the main ideas of how it works, but I’ll get into more specifics below.

Luk and Tzesar, tend to use their attraction stats less because they’ve known MC for so long. For Luk it will mostly come into play right after he returns for the war since he’ll be gone for most of MC’s teenage years, and for Tzesar it probably won’t be referenced much at all except in how he reacts to seeing MC all dressed up. What it does do for both of them is affect how fast they catch onto their feelings for MC if you romance them on the oblivious route. (Which I don’t think I’ve talked about on Tumblr yet.) 

Sentinel, if I remember correctly, is the hardest RO to gain attraction points for, and his are mostly only used if your MC is more forward in flirting. If he has low attraction (which most people will get) then he’ll be more resistant at first, but if he has high attraction, he’ll be more like ‘I’m not sure how to feel about this, but I’m listening’.

Nax with high attraction will be more flirty with MC even before you’ve acquired any romance points, basically, him starting with a high attraction will make him more likely to make the first move whereas the others need MC to express interest first. Once you start acquiring romance points he’ll be more forward regardless, it's more for before the romance points.

Albien is one of the most reserved ROs, and like Sentinel, he’ll be less reserved with an MC that has a high attraction stat. 

Gaderous, probably the one who relies most on the attraction stat. He starts off wanting a more physical relationship with MC, so having a low attraction stat will actually make him realize he has feelings for MC faster than if he has a high attraction stat.

[jellicle-chants]

If you actually think about it “dreams” is such a weird domain for an Elf deity to have and I don’t think it’s been interrogated enough in DnD lore (to my knowledge)

[bagholes]

English subtitles for Johanne Sacreblue

You've probably heard of a parody of Emilia Pérez (produced by a Mexican trans woman!!!) called Johanne Sacreblue. The whole thing is in Spanish (and French, obviously), so I translated the whole thing to English (see read more)

While I wasn't involved in the production of the original short, I'm Mexican and I have a degree in Translation and Applied Linguistics, so hopefully you'll enjoy my translation. Please give the video some love and don't give Emilia Pérez more attention!!

!!!!!!!! ENGLISH SUBTITLES !!!!!!!!!

(Hey! I'm a professional translator, and I translated the whole thing in English. Please upvote so more people can enjoy this video!)

Ah, nauseating France.   

Home of wonderful food such as baguettes, croissants, and more.

Lots of wonderful people live here.

Obviously, we’re French. 

This might look like a love story,

but open your eyes and pay attention!

In France there’s rising burglary rates. 

But why tell you about France when I can show you?

Welcome to la France!

♫

Welcome to la France.

A unique and special country.

Where you’ll know what it means to truly love. Love, love from France.

Live the experience of this place. 

[Homer Simpson voice] Wow, classy.

Maitre D': Good evening, sir. Would you please leave without a fuss right now?

Homer: OK.

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Crêpes? Les crêpes? I didn’t shower today. 

I’m not worried. I smell just fine. 

Like rats, sweat, and wine.

The cheese I eat smells better than me,

but my perfume can take care of it. 

I love feeling superior. 

Here’s some rapping just because. 

Oh, mon ami. Merci. Sacré bleu. Comment tu t’appelles? Merci. Déjà vu. Bon voyage! Pizza, kwason. 

It’s croissant, croissant, croissant!

Welcome to la France

where you’ll get your heart stolen,

and your wallet, too.

Welcome to la France,

but if you’re Muslim, homosexual, or Black,

I want you to stay back. 

Hit it, Mbappé. 

Viva Cinco the Mayo!

Long live cakes!

Marie Antoinette! 

Long live cakes!

My fucking crêpe still hurts when I think of you

Part 1: surprise and challenge.

Maybe all those years living in a ranch were good for him.

He wasn’t living in a ranch!

He lived in Mexico City for ten years.

Same thing. It might as well have been a jungle.

Mexicans are savages. 

Do you know what they do to cheese over there?

They eat it fresh!

I don’t think he copied their ways.

He’s still a good Frenchman.

He better be. I expect no less.

He’s my only son. 

All the suffering in Mexico must’ve gotten rid of his rebel nature. 

He’ll be the perfect man. The perfect male successor for the largest baguette company in France.

My son. My manly son. 

Did I already mention that my son is a man?

He’s here!

Maman, papa… bonjour!

Son of a-

[title credits] Johanne Sacreblue. Directed by someone with ADHD.

What were you up to in Mexico?

I learned how to open a beer using a bill.

Jonathan is using a dress, Bridgitte. And he has breasts! What do you think he was up to in Mexico?

Now my name is Johanne.

Nonsense! You’re not getting the company. No way. 

That’s fine. I don’t even want it. 

Honey, it’s your future. You’re our only DAUGHTER. You have to take the position. 

You’ll get the company. End of story. 

You don’t even want me to own the company!

Because I didn’t think it’s what you wanted!

Why did we stop speaking French?

What did you say?

Nothing. I got confused.

I’ll tell you something: remember the Ratatouille? They gave us this letter. They challenged us to the national France competition to decide once and for all what’s better: baguettes or croissants. 

Do you want to enjoy your fortune? Win this competition and manage the company. Or go back to Mexico to eat guacamole.

For the last time, no! You won’t get the company. 

I’m the only one who’s always loved croissants.

I’m the oldest son. It’s my right. 

Your right? How can think that about your brothers?

Any of them could do a good job.

Hugo can’t get over his artistic phase and he’s addicted to sniffing paint thinner!

I’m not just sniffing paint thinner! Yellow paint makes me happy.

Mario Hugo! Good luck with his twangy voice.

Mario Hugo: I agree with my beloved brother, but I love you, my family. 

No one knows what you’re saying!

Dugo is young! Why can’t it be me?

Well, first of all, you don’t have a penis!

Oof. Gotcha.

I’m trans. Other than that, I haven’t changed at all. 

Does it really affect you that much?

I’ve made myself clear: anything that affects our family affects me!

It’s not that we don’t love you, honey, it’s just that… you embarrass us. 

You’re not even an Hugo!

Yes, I am! I’m [French accent] Arturo! (Translator’s note: the rhyme got lost in translation. Sorry about that). 

“Arturo” isn’t “Hugo”!

Yes, it is! Ar-tu-ro!

Where did you get that?

Well… Chofls!! The letter!

The Sacrebleu have invited us to the Great Paris Competition. We will show once and for all what food item best represents our country! If you beat that family’s stupid transexual, you’ll get the company

I don’t know what to do, bestie. I don’t want to own that goddamn company. 

And why don’t you learn how to do something?

Because if I do it, they’re gonna cut me off, and I’ll be an unemployed, 28-year-old trans woman who has no life skills. 

Why don’t you just tell your father that you don’t want to do it and that you won’t do it?

It’s too late. I have no choice. 

Bestie, I’m so sorry you can’t enjoy your fortune with no commitment.

It’s awful…

Good evening, ladies. What can I get you?

I’ll have some French molletes.

I’ll have chicken.

Of course, ma’am. How shall we cook it?

Anything is fine as long as you kill it as cruelly as possible. 

Excellent choice, ma’am.

Anything else? Would that be all?

That’ll be all. Well, actually, I think I also want-

You said that would be all! You must assume the consequences of your decisions. Rot in hell! [spits]

Oh my, what a great service!

I know! They have the best customer service in France! Okay, so are you signing up for the competition?

I really don’t have a choice…

Bestie, you can do anything. You’re stronger than every woman I know, and I’m not just saying this because you used to be a man…

Thanks for the clarification.

You’re gonna compete and you’re gonna win.

Emily, you have no idea how much that means to me. You’re the only reason I wanted to come to Paris. I wanted to see my friend Emily in Paris. It was the only reason I wanted to come tot this city: see Emily in Paris.

Oh là là, I know! Everyone tells me that! What I don’t get is why you don’t want to compete. This is such an honor for France-

It’s just that there’s a lot of things I don’t understand since I came back. Why are we so impolite? Why do we love animal cruelty? And why exactly do we hate Muslims? 

Because it’s fun!

Yeah, maybe, but have you ever considered that it’s wrong?

Oh my God! You’re right! I’d never thought about it! We’re awful!

Oui!

What we do to birds… we drown them in cognac! Why are we doing it? Who thought of that?

I don’t know.

I feel.. dirty! I want to take a shower!

I knew I wasn’t crazy!

Seriously… I never thought that we were doing something wrong. I always thought that people who get minimum wage liked how we treat them. No wonder they sent you to Mexico… You’re crazy.

I got sent to Mexico for being trans.

They sent you to Mexico because you’ve been hallucinating. You’re seeing Marie Antoinette.

I’m not hallucinating! It’s the actual ghost of Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette: don’t listen to hear. She dresses like a Guatemalan. I’m as real as my tragic death. They should behead her for having such damaged hair.

There’s no point in knowing the truth about France. At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary French millionaire with enough money to live for four days. There’s nothing I can do.

Marie Antoinette: [unintelligible] sleep paralysis at night.

If you win, all of France will listen to you.

Ladybug: Welcome to the most important competition of la France, where France’s most important families will make a very important decision.

Cat Noir: that’s right! We’re here to make a very important decision. What food best represents France: baguettes or croissants?

Our fellow citizens will know what we’re talking about, but for those dirty foreigners that only know how to use soap…

Wear perfume!

We’ll explain the rules.

There’s two events: whoever wins both will be victorious!

The first even will be a race! The first one to reach the Eiffel tower, touch it and say our catchphrase “we give up!” will be the winner!

Without further ado, we’re heading to the competition!

It’s the best race I’ve seen years!

The Ratatouille throw a croissant to the Sacreblue and almost slashes her throat. It’s cat-tastic!

But Johanne takes the lead with 400 rats, and she wins the race!

Rats! Meow!

Here she comes!

Vive la France!

Your love for croissants ends here. What an embarrassment!

Don’t feel bad, honey. I never really expected anything from you. 

Arturo, I’m not gonna lie…

Brother, defeat will only make you stronger.

What?

You’re a great man. You’ll make it. 

Can I have five French dollars to buy yellow paint? I want to paint. 

Later that night in some French dumpster

♫

I’m just a trash man in Paris.

Another piece of trash in Paris.

But I’m also the greatest trash

I’m the trash man.

I’m such trash that I made a fortune using other cultures.

I’m such trash that I enjoy cancelling last minute

because I’m scared 

that they’ll see my tiny baguette.

I don’t have the guts to say that I fucked up.

I’m scared to know what people think of me

If I’m a good guy or just a bald bad guy

I’m such trash that it’s embarrassing.

I thought Karla Sofia was from Puebla.

I’m such trash that I wrote a musical about narcos.

“Penis to vagina, woman to man.”

What the fuck was that shit, bro?

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

I’m disgusting, don’t you see? 

Part 2: from hate to love

Why did you ask me to meet you here?

[sigh] I came to ask you to stop fighting over something as dumb as bread.

Baguettes are just bread, but croissants are France itself. It’s in our veins, in our wine, in the air we breathe!

Arturo, wait, don’t do it!

[coughing]

You can’t take a deep breath in France. Dumbass.

Whatever. You’re just saying this because you’ve been away for a long time. You’re nothing but a chimichanga lover. 

Cinco de Mayo!

How dare you!

Does it make you feel good to be a man hitting a woman?

Actually, yes. Now I get why we do it.

I’ve had enough! I can’t take it anymore! What’s wrong with France? Why do they like to hit women? Why do they like racism? Can’t you see that what we’re doing is wrong?

Actually, no. I had never thought about it. I never considered that… Oh my God… We’re monsters! What are we doing? We must put an end to this!

But how?

You’ll do it with me. With your amazing arguments, we’ll change France. 

Do you think it can be done? But how?

Oui, mademoiselle. If you let me win the second event, it’ll be a tie, and they’ll have to listen to us according to the French rules I hadn’t mentioned before. 

I don’t know if I can trust you.

Trust me, mademoiselle. Trust this stinky French heart.

Alright. Kiss me.

Do you want me to kiss you?

Yes. Give me a French kiss.

Here it’s just “a kiss”, stupid

Welcome to the second competition!

This is the most fabulous competition! It’s the racism competition!

That’s right, Cat Noir! And for those stupid Americans who don’t know what we’re talking about, in this competition, participants are given a total of 30 minutes to deport and catch as many immigrants as possible.

Everything is allowed: from making up crimes to blackmailing! 

Each Muslim is worth 5 points. However, participants can get extra points from hate crimes against Muslims, Black people, Latinos, members of the LGBT community, and fans of Emily in Paris!

Let’s watch the racism competition!

We apologize for the technical issues. Cat Noir had a fanatic episode. 

It was amazing! With a great lead, our winner, Arturo, was victorious. So we’ll have to call this a tie. 

Oh! For the first time in more than ten years, we’re getting some words from our ten French emperors!

Stop!

There… won’t be… a tie!

This decision will no longer be postponed. 

 Declaramos abierto el duelo final.

And it’ll happen right now.

Because I love Queen Marie Antoinette.

The final duel…

It’s the fight to the death with baguettes!

Good luck! And may the Frenchest win. Yes. Oui. Oui. Oui.

[Elmo]

Part 3: destiny

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

Fight to the death with baguettes?!

I think there’s gonna be a fight to the death with baguettes.

What? Fight to the death with baguettes? What’s that?

Oh, fight to the death with baguettes. I’ve heard about it. I think they’re gonna fight to the death… with baguettes.

[gasp]

Johanne: I don’t want to fight to the death with baguettes with you.

Arturo: Neither do I, but we have no choice.

J: Yes, there is. Haven’t they considered that this is wrong?

No!

Arturo: Papa Johns!

Papa Johns: I pitted your families against you with a little help from whom you love the most… your butlers. 

Arturo: Chofls!

Johanne: Wigles, why?

Wiggles: I’m sorry, madame. I need the money, and you haven’t given me raise in 25 years. 

Papa Johns: I’ll destroy you so the greatest French food gets recognition: French fries!

Johanne: You’re losing a lot of wine.

Johanne: you have a rat on your head!

Papa Johns: this tiny chef taught me his secrets, and I used them for evil. 

Wigles: I think I got Stockholm syndrome due to so many years of labor exploitation.

And that’s how we got away from the bad guy, Mr. French ambassador. 

Controlled by a rat… The nightmare of every French. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s how Johanne Sacreblue and Arturo Ratatouille restored the glory of France. What a captivating story you’ve brought us, full of pain and social commentary. Is there anything else you would like to add before we run out of funds?

Well, actually, yes. As many of you know, I went to Mexico, and my fellow Mexicans asked me to bring a gift to France when I came back, and what a better person to give it to than the ambassador? 

Oh, what wonderful surprise have you brought from Mexico? Could it be some wonderful Mexican tortillas?

Wait… Is that-

Yes, a cake. Un gâteau. 

[Credits]

And that’s the story of how your parents saved la France.

Thanks for telling me these stories, grandma.

My grand-son. My grand-son, a boy…

[sigh] 

♫

Tito, my grandson Tito (translator’s note: another rhyme that got lost in translation. Sorry again). Tito, tito. My grandson Tito. 

You smell like frog legs in the morning.

You smell like you haven’t showered in weeks. 

You smell like a moldy baguette.

You smell like the omelette that I ate. 

You smell like cheese. Smelly, smelly!

You smell like your grandma.

Tito, Tito, Tito, my grandson Tito. 

You smell like snails. You smell like escargot.

You smell like France. 

[fogsy-feel]

This is not a diss on anyone at all but I have just come to a hilarious conclusion. I honestly find it so funny that for all my fics I constantly get the same type of comment. 

My inbox is full of  “Well, I was hesitant at first. Because the premise is fucking wild and I didn’t think it would work out, but this is actually good. I like it!”

This is for almost every fic I’ve ever written, no matter the fandom. My brand has just become: it shouldn’t work, but somehow it does...

[bitchy-craft]

PICK A CARD: Uplifting messages from your spirit guides

Hello and welcome to this pick a card! In here I will give you some uplifting messages from your spirit guides. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting!

masterpost > paid readings > patreon masterlist

The extended version of this reading is found on my Patreon, the link of which is here.

Pile 1:

There is no one in the world who is as funny and intelligent as you.

People who complain about your personality simply have none of their own.

It is okay to be upset and to be influenced by others’ their words, even if they’re nonsense.

You are going to make it very far in life, we can see it all.

You need to give yourself more credit because you’ve grown so much over the years, god knows why you don’t see it yet.

Slow progress is still progress; no one shoots up and continues to do so for the rest of their lives.

You’ve survived so many bad days so far, it is proof that you are strong and resilient.

It is okay to rest and not be productive every single day. You are no machine.

You are allowed to be proud of yourself for things others might consider normal or unimpressive; they’re impressive for you.

You’ve got a softness the world needs, but at the same time a softness that is too good for this world.

extended reading > paid readings

Pile 2:

You do not owe anyone an explanation about your (mental) health.

Crying and feeling emotions don’t make you weak, it makes you real.

Your progress doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, you are unique so you have unique progress.

Just because you are struggling doesn’t mean you are failing.

You’re allowed to start over as much as you want; eventually you’ll get it.

You make a difference in people’s lives; you help people enjoy life.

You are too much of a perfectionist, be kind to yourself.

It’s okay if you aren’t who you were before, everyone grows and changes. You get shaped by experiences, and the older you get the more you have.

There is still light and hope inside of you; you’re not gone yet, you’re still fighting in there. Keep going.

You don’t have to be productive in order to be of value.

extended reading > paid readings

Pile 3:

You don’t owe anyone a version of you that makes them comfortable if it isn’t authentically you.

It’s not all in your head; you’re onto something.

You’re more powerful than you think, stop doubting yourself.

Being soft in a hard world is brave.

You don’t need permission to take care of yourself and listen to your body; do what you need to do.

It is okay to want more. One can be grateful but still wish for more than the bare minimum.

You weren’t made to please everyone around you.

Not all energies are meant to align; sometimes you just don’t get along with others for no reason, and that is alright.

It’s okay to change your mind; it is normal and natural.

You’re not annoying for reassurance, it is human. Voice your needs.

extended reading > paid readings

[galene-gothic]

𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

SUMMER SALE

Note: In regard to romantic relationships.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

You’re someone who has undergone nostalgia, apathy, discontent and boredom in the past, and has come out of it. Due to this, you try to be present and know how to leave the past behind you. You’ve undergone a lot of growth emotionally and have accepted the situations that occurred as well as yourself, and your own nature so you’re ready to move forward and know your responsibilities. There’s awareness of how regretful you are about having wasted your time in discontent and negative focus instead of being present because those days, that time won’t come back again. You’ve released so many negative emotions and have had to deeply reset your mindset which is not child’s play. Most people stay stuck in the way they are their entire life because they simply can’t bring themselves to change and would rather live in ignorance, and misery but you have pulled yourself out of such a rut and have a desire to truly live. The thing about living is that, the past is gone, the future is not here yet, the only thing we have is the present moment so living is about being in the present moment. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” as they say. You’re aware of this and try to be present. That’s your active focus. You’re also someone who knows when change may be needed and you try to bring it about despite discomfort because you’ve already changed yourself very deeply, and overcome what had you consumed, stuck, and trapped. You don’t have the heart to put the one who’s actively choosing you and loving you below anyone. You’re not going to think of some great past love that could not even stick through the test of time as the greatest love you’ve ever had. You’re going to let them go completely, cherishing and loving only the one who is right in front of you because you now know that you deserve a love that is present, and chooses you over and over again, and want to offer the same love to your partner. The concept of ‘exes’ is not a real thing for you anymore. You tend to be grateful for what you already have and who you already have because you seek contentment and enlightenment in life after all the negativity that you’ve put yourself through. You see the positives in any negative situation and simply just possess a zest for life. You’re self aware in many ways because having experienced such negativity, you understand your own negative tendencies and you try to be self aware, and focused. Due to this trait of yours, when you get with someone, you’re still focused on yourself and the person in front of you rather than having your energy be all over the place. You’re also extremely contemplative because you had undergone a phase of negativity, nostalgia, overthinking, boredom, discontent and apathy, and have a lot of capacity to think and many interesting insights on life. You’re also someone who understands love in its most divine and sacred form. It is not just about love, you possess a lot of unique knowledge about many different matters because most people don’t have access to such divine knowledge or are just ignorant.

You’re a very intuitive partner and likely untouchable even when you’re single. You understand your partner and connect with them in a way in which you understand, and feel them on an almost psychic level. You understand their psyche, the conscious, subconscious and unconscious very well, and tend to be very in-tune with their higher needs. You experience love as something very divine and might even hold it as being sacred. I don’t think that you’re willing to share or experience such love with just anyone. You are the very definition of a divine feminine and if you don’t hold yourself, romance, and connections in general to a divine, and sacred standard, you’re either being nudged to do so, will grow into this as you tap into your love nature, should pick another pile or need to accept your true love nature based on your needs, desires and what you can give out. You’re very intelligent and wise, and what I find to be incredibly fascinating is that people might not get this side of you to its fullest or even be aware of its existence unless they get really close to you one on one, or especially unless they’re married to you. I am putting a very big emphasis on marriage here because some of you might be naturally hesitant to share certain things, certain moments of intimacy with those who you are not closely bonded with on a soul and life level, and even if you do, your present partner, your life partner will hold the highest place and will get access to your unique insights, and wisdom the most because they’ll be sharing their life with you and the amount of depth you have, the thoughts, the philosophies, the wisdom, the knowledge, everything that you possess is not something that people can experience and understand in a few months or years plus because of your desire, and ability to live in the present moment and your willingness to change for the better even if it’s hard, you tend to learn more and more from life, and attain more and more wisdom, and knowledge so people of the past don’t even know you. The ones who leave you do not really get to know, understand and experience you, and life with you in the way that the one you share your life with will. You are very feminine and possess a depth, and duality that may seem contradictory but that’s just the way you are. You end up channelling different sides of you depending on what side of you is needed but all of these sides exist in you so even if you may look really cute on the outside, on the inside, you can be the biggest freak or even if you present yourself as being dumb on the outside, you can be very intelligent, wise and aware on the inside, or even if you look very serious and stoic, you have a very playful, fun loving and cute side or even if you present yourself as very intelligent and strategic, you can be very innocent and naive on the inside because you function from genuineness and divinity, or even if you look or present yourself as being mature, emotionless and emotionally controlled, you possess a very sensitive, empathetic and crybaby side.

Honestly, you could relate to all of the above because you have experienced being who you are and that includes the contradictions, and the different views that people have had of you based on the image that you ended up projecting depending on what side of you you were channelling at that time. Those who stick around get to see and experience all of these sides. You’re also very observant and intuitive, recognising your partner’s needs and patterns. You can be a bit passive and not voice out all that you observe instead trying to help them through actions in whatever way you can, and even so, there’s some level of passivity. Many of you are untouchable and unattainable despite your desirability. Also, there’s likely a deep desire for sex and intimacy but in a sacred way in which you do it with the same person again, and again? I’m getting that you tend to be curious and seek knowledge not just about life, divinity or/and academics but also about sex and human connections. You want to do right by your partner at all times and know how to take accountability. You’re fair and accepting of whatever mistake you made, and you don’t mind having to take responsibility and apologise. In fact, if you have to deal with the consequences of your actions, you’ll be willing to do so too. However, you’re someone who desires such fairness for yourself as well. You’re not swayed by external factors, love or affection, you use your mind to make fair decisions and let people deal with the consequences of their actions rather than negotiating every single time. You also have this odd ability in which you can subconsciously pick up on something being off and the future of the connection being not so bright. For example, if you’re being deceived, even if you’re not aware of it yet, you might suddenly get the urge to block them and never talk to them again. You treat your partner as an equal and don’t mind compromising for the greater good. You have a lot of integrity, causing you to try to fulfil your duties within the relationship to the best of your abilities. You usually don’t betray your relationship and partner in any way but even if you do something that you’re not proud of or could cost you the relationship, you are honest with them. You won’t take away their right to make a decision for themself. You’ll give them all the factors needed for them to make a choice for themself, by themself. You deeply desire and require such fairness from your significant other too. You’re a truth seeker and do not appreciate or enjoy being deceived and blindsided. You’re also very decisive and once you decide that you want someone, you stick by it. You feel a great deal of love towards them and you’re clear in that. You also make the right decisions with fairness and integrity. You know how to communicate effectively and you place a really strong emphasis on understanding. You know that communication will do nothing for a couple unless they possess a basic understanding of each other, a desire to understand each other and want to do right by each other.

You have had a breakthrough, a realisation that people in the world are not as honest and fair as you are, and that there will always be people who will deceive you. Some of them may lie to you while the others may just leave details out, either way, it is deception. So you seek clarity and truth in relationships, and have grown a certain resilience. Breakthroughs and realisations about other people’s deception towards you used to hurt you deeply in the past, and they still will if you find out but you’d rather have that over living in a lie, in deception, in an illusion. You have developed a certain resilience around such matters and will be glad to have clarity, and enlightenment and will make the best possible choice for yourself, choosing to be fair with yourself in such situations. You will also attain knowledge and wisdom from these situations. You’re very playful and pure in romance. You likely need a partner who you can admire and look up to but also makes your inner child feel safe because you have a tendency to act very childish in relationships. You love in an innocent manner with a lot of genuine emotional involvement. You tend to be smitten when in love and get flustered easily. The type to have a crush on your partner years into the relationship. This is honestly so adorable. You value intimacy and emotions, and enjoy doing things to display affection such as writing love letters, romantic messages, etc. You’re very affectionate and tender, and honestly a bit vulnerable, sensitive, and almost naive? Due to how genuinely and purely you love, you have zero tolerance for deception, and lies in your relationship. You will not even tolerate deception through leaving details out. When you love someone and when they hold the space for you to feel safe enough to be as childish, affectionate, pure, and tender as you want, you naturally open up and treat the connection as something sacred, intimate and pure, you just open up, and give all of yourself away without reservations, just pure love. You also treat your partner with a lot of reverence. You’re very childlike and sensitive, and very affectionate and tender, and might cry easily with your partner as well as joyfully joke, dance and laugh around with them. You tend to play with your partner, as in, have light hearted fun like an actual child and find new ways to communicate with them in witty, and affectionate ways. For example, notes around the house, notes in their locker or textbook, discussing different topics ranging from playful jabs and jokes to deep, and insightful conversations and even your tone might change. You might speak in a sweet but high pitched tone with a childish cadence sometimes but a grounded, deeper and more serious tone at other times. You’re also very romantic, flirty and almost obsessive but unattainable, and they’re the only one who gets access to this side of you.

When it comes to your cons, you’re someone who worries a lot. In the past, you had connections that ended suddenly or didn’t progress past a certain point, or things were just moving awfully slowly despite you providing a lot of value and service to the other person, and it has left deep wounds in your psyche. You tend to be fearful and paranoid. The other person was not taking action and just lacked the passion, energy, and drive to try with you and you were left directionless. This situation or possibly even multiple situations was very stagnant. They could have fed off your comfort and assistance just to pull the “I’m busy” card when they found someone else, and many of you weren’t even given the truth in that situation, you had to find out by yourself so well, you felt deceived, used, discarded and you couldn’t even complain about it because you felt like you had put yourself into that situation by sticking around for so long. You were craving both comfort and stimulation at that time so you connected with these people in a very fun, almost childlike manner and were not taken seriously. I don’t think that it was a you problem at all but the only con that I’m personally getting here is your negative thinking due to your past experiences. You have intense negative emotions come up from a very deep seated place. You overthink a lot and have your mental health fall apart when in a relationship. You seem to have dealt with public/social humiliation, having people gang up on you or gossip about you because of someone you were involved with. It could have been that others decided that you were not good enough for your partner or your partner publicly betrayed you causing you to be the butt of the joke. Either way, it was incredibly humiliating and left a very toxic effect on you. It’s like, supposing you ate something toxic, even if you took an anecdote, the toxins remained in your system, that’s how it is with you. I got so many qualities for your pros but for your cons, there’s a big focus on your fears, paranoia, anxieties and deep seated negative beliefs, and the other cards are only there to support it. You seek and desire the truth, and have been left scorned in the past so you are a bit bitter about it still and tend to be very critical of your partner. In fact, before you even get with them. you’re already criticising them. “You found someone more exciting, the next second, you were gone and you left me there crying, wondering what I did wrong. You said I’m never satisfied but I don’t think it’s true cause all I ever wanted was to be enough. Don’t you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded? Don’t you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?” By this point, you’re aware that not all your thoughts and beliefs are true but you still fear that the history will repeat itself. You fear that people will not take you seriously but will still use you for what you can do for them and what comfort you can provide for them just to not even be honest with you, and lead you on while you were simply just trying to respect their pace. You fear that you’ll feel discarded, used, scorned, naive, unimportant, unwanted, undesired and undesirable. Your only con is that you will either keep this to yourself, sabotage the relationship and hurt yourself silently, or will drive your partner crazy with all this negativity and intensity.

Pros:

i) Tries to be present because you have dealt with not being so

ii) Notices when and where change is needed, and brings it about even if it is hard or takes time

iii) Has already dealt with being stuck in the past and the nostalgic “I’ll never get over this”, “I’ll never love anyone like that again”, “I’ll never forget ___” or/and “what if I never find love again?” phase and regrets having wasted time like that, and desires present love in the present moment and is capable as well as willing to give it back

iv) Cherishes present love and leaves the past in the past, possibly considering past love to not have been real because of the discontent, pain and the feeling of being lost that it caused

v) Has grown significantly emotionally and continues doing so

vi) Is unwilling to be consumed by anything unless it’s present and shows the promise of being present in the future but even so, if it leaves, you’re willing to leave it behind and find something that is present, and cherish it wholeheartedly instead

vii) Your main priority is the one right in front of you and you are present with them, cherishing, and loving them wholeheartedly, not putting them beneath anyone else in your heart and life

viii) You know how to be grateful or at least try to be and seek contentment, pleasure, and enlightenment in the present moment

ix) Sees the positives in negative situations and tries to maintain a positive focus

x) Self aware about one’s negative tendencies and a willingness to gain more self awareness

xi) You try to keep your focus on yourself, your life, being present and your own partner, wanting to cherish them, and actively fulfill your responsibilities towards them

xii) Extremely contemplative and has interesting, and insightful philosophies and thoughts on life due to having contemplated deeply in the past

xiii) Possesses a strong capacity to think

xiv) Has many interesting insights on life

xv) Someone who understands love in its most divine and sacred form

xvi) Understands partner and connects with them in a way in which you understand, and feel them on an almost psychic level

xvii) Divine feminine and a very deep personality

xviii) Highly intelligent and wise

xix) Depth not easily accessible to others: only fully revealed in close, soul-level connections (especially in marriage)

xx) Selective with intimacy and emotional sharing

xxi) Continuously evolving through a commitment to self-growth and living in the present

xxii) Deeply feminine with a rich inner world

xxiii) Embody contrasting traits, such as:

- Cute appearance vs. deep internal complexity

- Seeming naive or playful vs. being actually strategic and insightful

- Stoic exterior vs. emotional sensitivity

- Intelligent presentation vs. innocent inner nature

- Multifaceted personality, channeling different sides as needed

xxiv) Those who stay close get to experience your full depth

xxv) Observant and highly intuitive

xxvi) Supportive through actions more than words, with a tendency toward passivity

xxvii) Desirable yet emotionally or spiritually unattainable to many

xxviii) Craves deep, sacred intimacy, particularly with one consistent partner

xxix) Curious and seeking knowledge across diverse areas (life, divinity, human connection, sexuality)

xxx) Accountable and fair, willing to admit mistakes and accept consequences

xxxi) Desires mutual fairness in relationships

xxxii) Emotionally grounded, makes decisions based on reason rather than being swayed by affection or manipulation

xxxiii) Able to detect misalignment or deception even subconsciously with instinctive urges (like cutting off contact)

xxxiv) Deeply genuine, operating from a place of authenticity and spiritual alignment

xxxv) You treat your partner as an equal and don’t mind compromising for the greater good

xxxvi) Strong sense of integrity and fulfill your relationship duties to the best of your ability

xxxvii) You are honest, respecting your partner’s right to make their own decisions by being fully transparent

xxxviii) You deeply desire and need the same level of fairness and honesty from your partner

xxxix) You are a truth seeker and cannot stand deception or being blindsided

xl. You are decisive in love - once you choose someone, you remain loyal and clear in your affection

xli. You make relationship decisions with fairness, clarity and integrity

xlii. You communicate effectively and value deep mutual understanding over surface-level conversation

xliii. You believe that real communication requires the will to understand and do right by one another

xliv. Have had a breakthrough about the dishonesty of others and learned to accept painful truths over comforting illusions

xlv. You’ve built resilience around deception and now choose clarity, even if it hurts

xlvi. You grow wiser and more grounded from such experiences, always choosing fairness toward yourself

xlvii. In romance, you are playful, pure-hearted and emotionally genuine

xlviii. You need a partner who you can admire but who also nurtures your inner child

xlix. You tend to act very childlike in love with innocent affection and emotional sincerity

l. You get easily flustered and smitten, having a crush on your partner even years into the relationship

li. You value intimacy, affection and emotional expression through romantic gestures like love letters and messages

lii. You are extremely affectionate, tender and emotionally vulnerable in love

liii. Your love is so pure that you have zero tolerance for lies, even lies by omission

liv. When someone makes you feel emotionally safe, you open up completely and love without reservation

lv. You treat the connection as sacred, giving your all with purity and reverence

lvi. You enjoy lighthearted playfulness with your partner

lvii. You find creative and witty ways to connect, such as leaving notes or using playful tones in conversation

lviii. You’re deeply romantic almost obsessive in your love but emotionally and spiritually unattainable to most, making your partner feel uniquely chosen as the only one with access to this side of you

Cons:

i) You worry excessively and tend to overthink, often allowing fear and paranoia to dominate your emotional landscape

ii) You’ve internalized guilt for staying too long in unhealthy dynamics, blaming yourself for trusting and giving too much

iii) You are deeply scarred by emotional deception, especially when others masked disinterest with excuses like being “busy” while entertaining someone else

iv) You often weren’t given closure or truth; you had to uncover it yourself, further intensifying your trust issues

v) Your negative thinking, stemming from these past experiences, is your greatest con, it clouds your perception even when things are going well

vi) Intense, deep-seated negative emotions can surface suddenly and powerfully, often overwhelming you

vii) Your mental health may decline during a relationship due to these unhealed traumas and emotional instability

viii) You’ve experienced public or social humiliation related to a partner perhaps being gossiped about or made to feel inferior

ix) You may have been betrayed publicly or treated as less-than, becoming the subject of ridicule or pity

x) These humiliating experiences linger like toxins in your system, creating emotional reactivity even when the current situation is safe or different

xi) While you are highly self-aware, your lingering bitterness and unresolved pain can make you critical of your partner even before they’ve done anything wrong

xii) You tend to project fears from your past relationships onto your current partner, expecting betrayal, abandonment or replacement

xiii) You question your worth and fear you’re not enough that others only value you for what you offer, not who you are

xiv) You doubt your desirability and fear being viewed as naive, unimportant or disposable

xv) Despite knowing your thoughts aren’t always rational, you struggle to fully trust love again and fear history repeating itself

xvi) This fear may manifest in two ways:

- You suppress it and suffer silently, slowly sabotaging yourself and the relationship, or

- You express it with overwhelming intensity, which may emotionally exhaust or alienate your partner

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

Your pros are that you are intolerant to bullshit and have high standards for yourself, and others. You’re a bit ruthless when it comes to your standards even with yourself. You know how to be patient and build upon a connection with consistency, effort, and hard work. You’re perseverant and don’t give up easily. Once you’re invested, that is it, your commitment is unwavering. You also become so focused on building upon the connection through your own effort that in the past, you used to not notice that the other person was not doing the same. This is why you’ve developed such high standards as well. You are very keen on your own growth and want to live up to your own standards so you persevere in that way too. You are naturally a provider regardless of your sex. You prefer long term connections that are grounded and can be depended on, and naturally take on the role of someone reliable who can be depended upon. You value certain traditions and old school ways of doing relationships, and do not entertain dusties looking for a grounded, mature, wise provider who’s a reliable partner in every way. You genuinely can’t bring yourself to do so. You try to consistently better yourself and look for the same quality in your partner too. You are guided by values, principles and ethics, and want a partner like that too. I keep on getting that your standards can be considered really high by many but they’re actually completely grounded in reality. Why is it wrong of you to want a mature, loyal, ethical and responsible provider? You are someone who is naturally more focused on building yourself and your life i.e. money, character, career, all of it so you want a partner who’s similar in nature. Someone who is focused on looking after themself, their family, career, character and growth rather than looking at random girls everywhere. You cannot tolerate the mere idea of wandering eyes. You want to be respected and respectful of your partner so it’s very important for you to find someone who’s rich in character, focused on building themself, their life, money and career, values long term relationships, and does not have wandering eyes because otherwise, you’d not be able to respect them enough to be with them. However, you try to maintain as strong of a character as you can and are naturally a provider. You’re also someone who has already worked a lot on yourself so when you are in a partnership, you have a lot to offer to the person in front of you. You have every right to be demanding and picky honestly because when you connect with someone, you risk breaking and losing all that you’ve built for yourself. Be it your character, money, life, values, etc. I’m saying this because it’s been proven that it takes only a few days for humans to start getting influenced by their environment and that includes the people around them. You’re also someone who compromises in relationships so it’s important that you find someone who’s rich in character, well meaning towards you, mature, wise and wants to provide for you so you’re not at a loss.

You are accepting of people’s differences and might enjoy some level of fighting, and aggression but you have a more peaceful personality. You enjoy the making up part of fighting 😭. The energy that I’m getting here is so adorable and funny. You will only be with someone who can you respect, admire and look up to because you have a lot of self respect, and wouldn’t want to risk losing all that you’ve built for yourself and all the progress that you’ve made so supposing something happens and they’re correcting, and scolding you, you will either silently take it or try to fight back but will still end up listening to them and taking it in the end xD. You seek peace but you have an ability to find passion and beauty even in conflict, and have it strengthen your bond with your partner rather than break it. You have a lot of integrity and are incredibly honest. Supposing you did something that most people would hide or lie about, you’d just expose it because it’s just a natural part of you. If it is concerning past matters, I’m getting that you would talk about these things in a more unapologetic manner but if it is something that is happening in the present moment or could harm the connection, you would be more remorseful with your speech but you feel like someone who wants to love you should know you and someone who wants to understand you will do so. You quite literally have nothing to hide. You also understand the nuances of emotions and human relationships, if you do anything to hurt your partner. You try to make up for it and build trust back again gradually rather than getting mad at them for not forgiving or trusting you. Most of you wouldn’t really do things that would betray or hurt your partner but I’m getting certain things coming through. You have high standards and before you get with your partner, you don’t trust their intentions and are naturally secretive. You try to be cautious and strategic not to manipulate but to protect yourself, and not fall victim to manipulation and mind games, and this is not a con, it is a pro but this can also create a bit more of a distrustful dynamic between you and your partner initially. So once you trust them enough, you’re honest with them about how you felt and how you feel, and all of that. You don’t hide much if anything from your partner once you feel safe enough. In fact, you don’t mind showing them your uglier sides or talking about the worst things that you have done, you want them to know you deeply, even the ugly parts and be able to accept, and love them. You have no intention of putting your partner through anything ugly but you just want them to know how shitty of a person you have been or can be. You don’t want them to love the ugly parts of you as in, put up with them but to have faith in you as a person despite what you may have done in the past. The thing is, you seem to be a person of a lot of integrity naturally so the ugly things that you’ve done in the past were mostly reactions to what other people were doing to you? But even so, you were treated as and seen as the villain in such situations but you don’t really care to explain your side to anyone.

However, with your partner, you do. I think that it’s a subconscious thing for you actually, you might not be aware that this side of you exists until you actually get into a relationship. Also, you have dealt with a lot of fights, competitions, aggression and conflicts, and do not want to deal with these anymore. You want a more understanding and peaceful dynamic with acceptance of differences, and fights that add passion into the bond and strengthen it rather than weaken, and break it. You are tired of being misunderstood :(. You know how to be alone and don’t act desperate for connections so when you do connect with someone, it’s not out of desperation but from a place of grounded place of truly choosing someone and connecting with them. You have likely experienced money or even if you haven’t, you are not money hungry. Yes, you do want money, it’s very obvious that you’re interested in building a life full of abundance for yourself and you see it as a valuable asset that can make life more beautiful but you think that character and true connections are beyond value. Even though you’re pretty self regulated when you’re single or try to be, you rely on your partner and want them to rely on you. You let them rely on you and work as a team with them. You do not want to burden your partner initially maybe so you’ll try to keep up appearances of stability but overtime, the more comfortable that you get with them, the more that you rely on them. You’re very candid and don’t try to be elegant for no reason, you’re just real. Obviously, you will still want to self regulate sometimes but you’re so grateful to have someone to rely on and want to be the same for them. You seem to have mixed feelings about dependency in a connection but you know how to maintain a fine balance. You want a provider and are a provider yourself, and would love the finer things in life but you are fine with not having it. Even if your partner’s finances were to fall apart, you’d stick by their side because you have faith in them and you enjoy the down to earth moments of comfort just as much as you may enjoy a luxury retreat. What matters is your constant companion :,). How sweet. Also, you’re the type to tire yourself out by working for your relationship and partner, trying to be everything for them, trying to be the one that they can depend on at all times. You go above and beyond for them, and your relationship with them. This is why you need a partner who is well meaning and wants to work for the relationship too because you’re not going to care if you’re tired, hungry, whatever, you’re just going to work, work, work for them. I think that you’ve developed high standards and certain demands, and requirements that you need your partner to meet because in the past, all you did was work, work, work and for people who couldn’t or just didn’t do the same for you. You didn’t even ask for anything. You just kept on doing. You deserved so much better than that. I’m glad that you can see that now.

Moving onto your cons, once you’re invested and committed, that is it. Your devotion reaches the highest point possible and you’re so busy fulfilling, managing, and balancing the relationship that you don’t notice or take into account your own happiness or lack of it. You’re very flexible and keen on seeing, and understanding your partner’s perspective and manage your emotions well in order to fulfil your role in the relationship, and plan and prepare for the future but you’re often too patient, and understanding. You try to find balance and happiness even if the relationship is unfulfilling for you. There are times when you are so busy balancing, understanding and maintaining the relationship by doing for it that you don’t notice how you’re being deprived of your wants and needs until it hits you really hard or even if you know that it’s not bringing you happiness, you continue trying because you’re borderline addicted to the person and are willing to put your needs, and wants in the backseat. You try to be understanding instead of leaving the relationship. “Not everything is about me.” “Not everything has to be how I dreamed of it to be.” You are able to find satisfaction in situations that are not satisfactory and you deserve so much better than that. You continue maintaining an image of being happy and fulfilled on the outside even if you’re dying on the inside due to how the relationship is not doing much for you. Your connections tend to drain you and in fact, rob you off your happiness and abundance, and you let it. You go through phases in your relationships but throughout it, you try your best to be understanding and patient, and maintain and fulfil the relationship. You think of the relationship as something divine and fulfilling initially, and try your best to fulfil it as such but then you start noticing that the connection is not what you dreamed of it to be but even so, you maintain optimism and continue doing for it because you understand that people are different, and that not every dream needs to come true but the more time that passes by, the more you lose your inner sense of abundance because you start bringing addicted to the other person and the lack of satisfaction only becomes more evident. Even so, you continue doing your best, you continue maintaining the relationship and being understanding, and patient but then you start becoming sadder, and start feeling lonelier. Then, you start mourning the relationship while you’re still in it. After that, you start thinking about things more logically. You start using your reasoning skills and enter a period of analysis. By this point, you’ve felt and mourned enough, you become more mind oriented than heart oriented and seek mental clarity, and truth above everything.

Then you enter a period of dissatisfaction, boredom, contemplation and nostalgia. Until the sorrow phase, you are very understanding. Starting from the thinker phase onwards, you start becoming more and more dissatisfied. After this phase of dissatisfaction and contemplation is over, you realise that the connection was not even that solid, stable and grounded, and you finally have the courage to break it. You are someone who maintains the relationship in such a way that you handle both the feminine and masculine parts because you genuinely don’t mind doing for love which is actually a really good trait but in this case, it’s a con because you wouldn’t have to fulfil both the roles if your partner was not complacent in the first place. You also give away your dreams in order to find happiness in whatever the relationship is and whatever your partner has to offer. You are not someone who gives up simply because your partner and the relationship is not living up to your wishes, instead you try to make the most out of the relationship by doing your best and remain patient, understanding, and satisfied through it all until you absolutely cannot take it anymore. I feel like if you’ve had past relationships, situationships, whatever, they wouldn’t have lasted as long as they did if it wasn’t for you. They lasted as long as they did only because of the effort you put into them, all the roles you took on and all the understanding, and patience that you showed. There could also be a history of getting deeply involved in situations that were not even grounded in the first place i.e. the person you were involved with was not committed to you and you were not leaving these situations despite dissatisfaction, and sorrow until you absolutely couldn’t take it anymore. If it’s not a history, it could be a tendency that you’re not even aware of yet. Be careful because you will get deeply wounded by these situations due to how much you give away. You cannot and should not try anything not committed because that’s not how you’re programmed, that’s not what you’re made for. In fact, if you feel or have felt used by friends of whatever sex you’re attracted to (because many of you have or will), I suggest that you make a firm decision to not be friends with them, not on a personal level at least i.e. no texting, no calling, no sorrow sharing, etc. because due to your natural provider tendencies, you might end up giving them more than you should. ‘You’re losing me’ by Taylor Swift is coming through. I’m glad that your pros showed that you’ve become more demanding and have developed high standards because it will truly protect you from so many low quality experiences.

Pros:

i) You are highly intolerant of nonsense and uphold firm standards - both for yourself and for others.

ii) You are ruthlessly self-disciplined, holding yourself accountable to your own values and goals.

iii) You are patient and understand the importance of building a connection with consistency, effort and long-term investment.

iv) You are extremely perseverant, once you commit, you’re all in and don’t back down easily.

v) You’ve learned from the past to value reciprocity and have developed high standards after noticing imbalanced efforts in previous relationships.

vi) You are growth-oriented, constantly working on yourself and striving to meet your own evolving standards.

vii) You are naturally a provider, regardless of gender, and take on a role of dependability and support in relationships.

viii) You value stability and long-term commitment, and prefer grounded connections over fleeting ones.

ix) You have a traditional side when it comes to relationships, valuing maturity, wisdom and reliability

x) You do not entertain people who aren’t serious or grounded, you seek meaningful and stable partnerships.

xi) You consistently strive to better yourself and want a partner with the same mindset and drive.

xii) You are guided by values, ethics and principles, and desire a partner who is equally rooted in integrity.

xiii) While your standards are considered ‘high’, they are realistic and rooted in experience and self-awareness.

xiv) You seek a partner who is mature, loyal, focused on growth, and respectful - not one with wandering eyes.

xv) You cannot respect someone who lacks discipline or character, as your self-respect wouldn’t allow you to stay in that dynamic.

xvi) You have every right to be discerning in love because you risk your whole foundation i.e. your values, character and peace when entering a relationship.

xvii) You compromise in relationships but require someone whose character is rich, intentions are pure and who wants to contribute as much as you do.

xviii) You are peaceful by nature but enjoy occasional conflict if it adds passion and depth, when followed by reconciliation.

xix) You value peace but can find beauty in passionate, emotionally charged moments that strengthen your bond.

xx) You possess a deep sense of honesty and integrity. Even when you mess up, you are transparent.

xxi) You don’t hide your flaws, you reveal even your ‘ugly’ sides because you desire to be deeply known and authentically accepted.

xxii) You are unapologetically open about your past mistakes, seeing them as part of your truth, not something to be ashamed of.

xxiii) You’re remorseful when your actions hurt your partner and put effort into rebuilding trust, showing emotional maturity.

xxiv) You’re cautious and strategic at the beginning of a connection, not to manipulate but to protect yourself.

xxv) Once trust is built, you are transparent, candid and willing to reveal your deepest truths.

xxvi) You want your partner to love and understand you as a whole, even the parts of you that you’ve struggled with yourself.

xxvii) Despite being misunderstood by others, you long for a partner who will hear your side and see the full context of who you are, and will express your truth to them.

xxviii) You are tired of conflict, competition and misunderstanding, you now seek peace, understanding and calmness in love.

xxix) You are emotionally independent - you do not chase relationships from desperation but choose them from clarity and groundedness.

xxx) You have likely experienced wealth or comfort yet are not materialistic. You value character and deep connection above material things.

xxxi) While you can self-regulate, you value mutual dependency in relationships and welcome shared vulnerability.

xxxii) You don’t put on a polished act, you’re real, raw and authentic, even if that means being a little messy at times.

xxxiii) You strive to balance independence with healthy dependency. You are reliable and incredibly grateful to have someone to rely on.

xxxiv) You are willing to stick by your partner through both abundance and scarcity, valuing emotional constancy over material security.

xxxv) You work tirelessly in your relationships - providing, nurturing, supporting, always beyond what is asked of you.

xxxvi) You require a partner who can meet you in effort and intention, you’ve likely learned from exhausting one-sided relationships.

xxxvii) You’ve developed your high standards as a response to past imbalance where you gave endlessly without asking for anything in return.

xxxviii) You now recognize your worth, the value you bring, and that you deserve a partner who matches your energy and effort.

Cons:

i) Once you’re emotionally invested, your devotion becomes absolute, even to your own detriment. You over-prioritize the relationship, often neglecting your own happiness.

ii) You’re too patient and understanding, sometimes to a fault. You’ll sacrifice your own needs in favor of maintaining harmony and ‘doing the right thing.’

iii) You tend to internalize dissatisfaction, trying to make peace with unfulfilling situations by convincing yourself to be grateful for whatever little you’re receiving.

iv) You’re so focused on making the relationship work that you don’t realize how deprived you are until it crashes down on you emotionally.

v) You continue giving your all and keeping up appearances even while emotionally dying inside, carrying the entire emotional load silently.

vi) You minimize your needs and abandon your dreams to find satisfaction in whatever your partner is able or willing to offer, even if it’s not enough.

vii) Your emotional resilience becomes a double-edged sword allowing you to stay too long in connections that are unbalanced and hurtful.

viii) You shift into a caregiving role and unconsciously take on both the masculine and feminine energies in a relationship, trying to do everything yourself.

ix) You tend to become addicted to the person rather than the reality of the relationship, which clouds your judgment.

x) You mourn the relationship while still being in it, silently grieving the emotional starvation while continuing to serve and stay.

xi) You delay walking away from a connection that isn’t working, hoping your emotional labor will somehow transform the dynamic.

xii) You rationalize subpar treatment by telling yourself, “not everything is about me” or “it doesn’t have to be perfect,” slowly eroding your own boundaries.

xiii) You try to remain optimistic and patient even as the joy and emotional richness of the connection disappears.

xiv) You experience phases in relationships: deep emotional commitment → subtle dissatisfaction → silent sorrow → mental detachment → heavy dissatisfaction → eventual clarity and breakup.

xv) Once you hit emotional burnout, you switch from heart-led to logic-driven, seeking mental clarity and analyzing everything in retrospect.

xvi) Your pattern often leads to eventual heartbreak not because you were blind but because you delayed acting on what you already knew inside.

xvii) The relationship sometimes only lasts as long as it does because of your effort, sacrifice and emotional labor, not because of equal contribution from the other side.

xviii) You may have a pattern or history of being deeply invested in connections that were never fully committed or grounded to begin with.

xix) You could be prone to entering or staying in ambiguous dynamics (e.g. situationships) even though they do not align with your true needs for security and commitment.

xx) Your natural provider energy makes you give more than you should, even to friends or casual connections, leaving you feeling used or emotionally drained.

xxi) You are deeply wounded by experiences where you gave your all and received inconsistency or emotional neglect in return.

xxii) You are not built for emotionally casual or undefined relationships and trying to engage in them could be damaging to your well-being.

xxiii) You might unknowingly attract people who take advantage of your loyalty, patience and giving nature, especially if they sense your emotional endurance.

xxiv) Even though you have now developed higher standards, there’s still a lingering vulnerability to fall into old emotional patterns if not constantly self-aware.

xxv) If your history includes being used by emotionally intimate friendships with those you’re attracted to, it may be necessary to establish stricter emotional boundaries.

xxvi) You have a tendency to perform emotional labor for others, taking on their pain, worries, and chaos, even when it harms your peace.

xxvii) You’re often too understanding of poor treatment, interpreting it as ‘human flaw’ rather than a red flag which slows your exit from unhealthy dynamics.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

Starting with your pros, you are someone who seeks to learn and teach in a romantic relationship. In fact, you’re always learning from everywhere and so, you want to be with someone who you can look up to and learn from, and who looks up to you and learns from you as well. You’re very happy go lucky in many ways and have different sides to you. You’ve likely experienced the ups and downs of life but most people see you as having experienced only the ups because you can act very happy, and bubbly. You’re also someone who can accept both the positives and negatives that come your way, and will stick with your partner through the ups and downs of life. You won’t let life come in between you and your partner, instead you’ll go with the flow of things and try to turn life around with them. You see love as a commitment, you value certain traditions and old school ideas, and naturally live by them and aspire to live by them, and do not let your commitment waver. Also, whether people know it or not, you bring a lot of luck into your romantic partner’s life. It doesn’t have to be that good things start happening to them after you enter their life (though it very well could be) but instead that simply just having a partner like you itself is very fortunate. You understand love and commitment very deeply, and love in a divine manner. You’re traditional and old school in many ways, and it makes you very dutiful and responsible. You do not leave your partner when they’re going through an emotional low or a low point in their life instead you remain patient, understanding and try to see things from their perspective. You instead try to maintain the connection and work with your partner in harmony, and cooperation by understanding their emotions and taking on their usual role if you have to. You’re flexible and don’t mind changing when life calls for it. People don’t give women enough credit. When people think about a traditional relationship, they immediately think about a working husband and a stay at home wife but they forget that life is not that simple for everyone. Even the most traditional couples from our parent’s generation and before that, the women have worked to provide for their family if they had to.

That didn’t make their relationship any less traditional. It’s similar with you, you value old school and traditional relationships but your idea of a traditional relationship is a lot about ethics, values, and responsibilities rather than the typical traditional roles alone. You do not mind stepping up for a while if the relationship calls for it but you are definitely not willing to provide for a bum for the rest of your life. You still expect your partner to want to be a provider and if they stop trying, you’d frankly lose a lot of respect for them. You don’t mind changing and transforming deeply through your partner, relationship or for them but you’re also okay with endings. You’re not someone who keeps on holding onto a connection just because the start of the relationship was beautiful. You’ve learned healthy self regulation by now and have changed a lot, in fact, you’re always learning, and always in the process of change and also like I said earlier, you’ve experienced the ups and downs of life which includes losing connections, and people and all of it has caused you to be more comfortable with endings. You don’t care about how much potential any connection has, if you feel slightly disrespected or realise that it’s not what you want, that you’d be disrespecting yourself by staying in the connection, you will leave. You’re a very ethical person who truly tries to watch your character and empathise, understand, and work with your partner so if you don’t receive the same, you’ll leave. For you, losing respect and feeling disrespected is enough of a reason to leave because you value integrity. Character is a big thing for you and I’m so glad that you seem to have more of a self assured approach to connections, and know what you want and can offer. You’re also okay with not exploring the potential of connections at all and not taking them to the next level if it requires you to lose integrity, turn a blind eye to disrespect, turn a blind eye to lack of values of the other person, etc. You know how to experience relationships in a divine manner in which you become one with your partner and work as a team with patience, understanding, and love but when relationships end, you are able to see and accept that it was clearly not as grounded, stable and deep as you may have wanted it to be.

Moving onto your cons, there’s a big emphasis on your past for those of you who have it. Your past experiences could cause you to have a more negative view of love and I mean, overwhelmingly negative. A fear of history repeating itself, a belief that whatever happened in the past will happen again, I’m getting sleepless nights or nightmares kind of stuff but that’s not the case for most of you and even if it is, you are able to move past it. The real problem is your partner’s past. You want a divine and devoted love in which you pretty much become one with your partner, and you hold commitment and love to a very high standard as well as caliber. You would not get with just anyone and even if some of you have in the past, those experiences were not real, they weren’t grounded and you accept, and understand that so they hold no meaning to you but for your partner, it could, you fear that. You want to be the only one for them. It would not be a con but you’re someone who will legit break down to tears, lose sleep or wake up deeply sad at the thought of your partner having been with and loved someone else :,). I’m the same so no judgement. You’re also very naive and pure, you love in a young, and innocent manner and fear not receiving love in the same way. When you love someone, they’re the only one for you and you fear that that’s not the case for them. The mere thought of them having memories of someone else, being able to remember their touch, voice, intimate moments with them, romantic moments with them, the feeling of being with them, all and any of it is enough to break you down into tears, make you overthink and lose sleep. This is interesting, you have always been a risk taker in relationships, often ending up rushing into them and your innocent nature caused you to be taken advantage of. You were honestly very naive and still are but now you’re aware of it, and you fear having to experience such moments again. It doesn’t even have to have happened regarding romance but your past seems to have made you feel naive causing you to be afraid of taking risks now.

You’re incredibly childlike and naive, having faith and believing in your partner without questioning things much if at all 🥹. It’s funny because you could give them hell about their past and drive yourself insane by thoughts of it but you love them so purely, and have so much faith in them. You lack assertiveness and become very soft, too soft. You’re sensitive and are ever loving. You become too empathetic and too caring. You’re extremely sensitive and vulnerable as well though, and despite lacking assertiveness, you tend to be very sharp and reckless when hurt. You possess a duality in which you can be out of control sometimes but are mostly not this way, in fact, you’re more subservient and meek, not expressing much assertiveness most of the time. You are instead very soft and sensitive, and loving and understanding. You experience the relationship as something very deep. It causes you to change a lot internally and question your beliefs, and change them and despite your comfortability with change, it is very intense and extreme so you try not to show the effects of it externally. However, this intensity, extremity, transformation and resistance has its way of showing up externally so you end up showing very vulnerable sides of yourself in the process of trying not to do so? Also, a very romantic thing is coming through, you try to avoid falling or showing that you’ve fallen and in the process of doing so, you fail even harder or when you realise, or show that you’ve fallen, there’s just no way of getting over it. It’s just so profound and deep. What’s that Mariah Carrey song that’s been trending recently? The one that goes “I give my all to him, just one more night with you. That song is coming through and also ‘hopelessly devoted to you’. You get deeply involved with your romantic partner and will have a hard time moving on from them due to how sensitive, soft and vulnerable they made you feel. You love deeply even if you are emotionally well regulated on the outside and can have a very hard time moving on. Being haunted by your past romantic partner for a really long time. Those of you who have loved someone this deeply are likely aware of this side of yourself.

Pros:

i) You approach love as a mutual journey of growth, you want to both learn from and teach your partner, creating a dynamic of shared wisdom.

ii) You are genuinely happy-go-lucky with a lighthearted spirit that coexists with emotional depth. You’ve experienced real lows but carry yourself with joy and resilience.

iii) You’re emotionally adaptable, able to accept both the highs and lows of life without letting them disrupt your connection with your partner.

iv) You’re committed and grounded in your view of love. For you, love is not a fleeting feeling but a deep-rooted responsibility and choice.

v) You believe in traditional values but not in a rigid or outdated way. Your version of tradition is based on ethics, responsibility and mutual respect, not gender roles.

vi) You bring genuine emotional abundance into your partner’s life. Simply being with you is a source of good fortune, stability and growth for them.

vii) You love in a divine, spiritual way- your love is loyal, enduring and deeply respectful of the sacredness of commitment.

viii) You do not abandon your partner in their low moments. Instead, you become more understanding, empathetic and willing to help carry the emotional weight if needed.

ix) You’re emotionally flexible and can adapt to life’s changing circumstances, taking on more or less in the relationship depending on what’s needed.

x) You honor and admire traditional structures, but you don’t cling to outdated norms. Your version of tradition is modern, realistic, and rooted in character and values.

xi) You don’t shy away from responsibility when love calls for it but you have clear boundaries. You’re not willing to support someone endlessly if they’re not putting in effort.

xii) You expect your partner to have the drive to provide and contribute. If they stop trying altogether, you lose respect which is a clear dealbreaker for you.

xiii) You’re capable of deep transformation through love and relationship, and open to evolving alongside your partner, while still maintaining your sense of self.

xiv) You have developed strong emotional maturity and self-regulation, which allows you to navigate endings with grace and clarity when needed.

xv) You no longer chase potential. If a connection disrespects your values or self-worth in any way, you are confident enough to walk away, no matter how beautiful it once was.

xvi) You are grounded in integrity and character. You offer understanding, empathy and accountability, and expect the same in return.

xvii) You do not tolerate disrespect, even in subtle forms. Respect is a non-negotiable for you and you trust yourself to walk away when it’s compromised.

xviii) You are not interested in ‘fixing’ or ‘seeing potential’ in people, you know what you want and you don’t waste energy on connections that can’t meet you there.

xix) You’ve accepted the impermanence of relationships. You’ve known loss, and it has made you wiser, stronger and more discerning with your energy.

xx) You seek a divine, team-oriented connection - one where both people contribute with patience, understanding and love. You strive for harmony, not hierarchy.

xxi) When something ends, you are able to reflect with honesty and accept that the connection wasn’t as deep, stable or reciprocal as you hoped, and you let it go.

Cons:

i) Your past romantic experiences, especially if painful or unfulfilling, still linger in your emotional body and may cause you to approach love with an underlying fear of history repeating itself.

ii) You have a deeply idealistic and divine view of love, so any reminder of your partner’s romantic or intimate past can deeply distress you, even to the point of sleepless nights, sadness or emotional spiraling.

iii) You want to be your partner’s one and only, not just in the present but in emotional and spiritual history. The thought that you may not be, even if irrational, can cause you overwhelming sadness and insecurity.

iv) You love in a deeply innocent, childlike and devoted way. You fear not receiving love in that same pure and all-encompassing form from your partner.

v) The mere idea of your partner remembering someone else’s voice, touch or presence can break you down because you love with your whole being.

vi) You’ve always been a risk-taker, rushing into things with open arms but this innocent approach has left you vulnerable to manipulation or being taken advantage of.

vii) Your past has made you question your judgment. Now, even though you crave deep love, you’re afraid of taking emotional risks and getting hurt again.

viii) You still carry a very innocent and trusting heart. You often believe in your partner fully, without questioning much.

ix) You lack assertiveness in romantic relationships, becoming soft, overly gentle and self-sacrificing. You tend to put your partner’s emotional needs above your own, often to a fault.

x) You’re extremely sensitive and deeply empathetic. While this is beautiful, it often leads to emotional overwhelm and an inability to set healthy emotional boundaries.

xi) Despite your gentle nature, when you’re hurt, you can become sharp, reactive and even reckless. You swing between emotional softness and sudden, unexpected intensity.

xii) This emotional duality - being mostly meek and self-sacrificing but occasionally eruptive when deeply wounded creates inner turmoil, and can confuse both you and your partner.

xiii) You go through deep internal transformations in relationships, questioning and shifting your core beliefs but you try to suppress or hide the external signs of this emotional upheaval.

xiv) Even though you try to appear strong or unaffected, the emotional weight of your romantic transformation leaks out, making you appear vulnerable, exposed or even fragile.

xv) You try not to show when you’ve fallen in love, but the more you resist, the deeper you fall. When you do fall, it’s intense, absolute and all-consuming.

xvi) Once you’ve fallen for someone, there is no easy way out for you. The love is profound, spiritually binding and not something you can detach from easily or quickly.

xvii) You are the type to give everything in love - your time, energy, emotional presence and when that love ends, it can haunt you for years.

xviii) You can carry emotional imprints of past relationships long after they’re over.

xix) You have a hard time letting go because of how deeply the relationship affected your emotional and spiritual identity. You mourn lost love in slow, aching ways.

xx) Your emotional vulnerability is a double-edged sword, it allows you to love deeply and purely, but it also leaves you feeling devastated and fragmented when that love is not returned in kind.

xxi) Despite appearing emotionally composed or even mature on the outside, your inner world is tender, volatile and very much affected by love, even long after the relationship is over.

[p1utofairy]

★ your next glow up?

note — i wasn't gonna post this now but i figured fuck it why not?! enjoy, my loves! this is for entertainment purposes only <3 take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. p.s. come in my ask box and tell me what you think!

PILE ONE.

pile mf ONE, you are really stepping into a new era! when i tell you this new you is gonna turn HEADS. tuh, you’re gonna be looking like new money. nicki minaj’s ‘new body’ verse is coming to mind lol “you ain’t fuck me, you fucked the old body. you ain’t fuck nicki, you fucked nicole body! ain’t no miles on this here new body, off with they heads these bitches is nobody’s.” OH YEAH OKAYYY, PILE 1. maybe you’ll be hitting the gym more, switching up your diet or possibly getting some cosmetic work done?

whatever you’re doing differently, it’s gonna be noticeable. people are gonna feel like something changed with you overnight like “um when did pile 1 get so bad?” and this isn’t to say you aren’t already attractive…there’s just something about your energy and confidence that just amplified x1000 and people are really gonna feel and see this change in you. you might start experimenting with your outfits a little more, giving off a more seductive vibe. it’s like you're breaking out of your comfort zone especially if you usually opt for baggier clothes or a more conservative look. wait cause why am i thinking of ‘pretty little liars’ when emily is talking to aria about hanna and she’s like “haven’t you heard? she’s the it girl now.” PERIOD, PILE ONE. giving serena page vibes from love island.

there will be a lot of talk about you and even if you don’t hear it directly, trust me, people are gonna try to keep tabs on you. i’m seeing people re-watch your instagram stories tryna figure out who took you that place and who you’re doing it with — oh these people are spiralingggg. this could very well be potential suitors tryna scope out the scenery, but they’re not sure if you’ll be interested in them. they might fear rejection because you just look so damn good and it looks like you’re in such a better space in life and got your shit together; whereas they feel like they lack the resources/finances to be with you. these potential love interests see you as high value, pile 1. they’re intimidated by your beauty and aura. you’ll be more so focused on attracting a partner that can actually make shit happen.

you don’t have time for the cat and mouse games. you want the real deal and i do see you getting the person that you want. you manifested this person into your life and i sense them feeling like they won the lottery with you! i’m hearing that you are sooo mesmerizing on the outside and your heart & personality makes you so much more beautiful. there’s layers to you and i think this next glow up will allow you to really shine and be yourself unapologetically – you’re leaning into the different aspects of yourself that makes you unique. if there’s anything you’ve got your mind set on or something specific you want to do, go for it! whatever you do, you’ll stand out effortlessly and be successful. say yes by floetry is coming to mind. “see, i’ve been watching you for awhile…your smile and style. wanna know if i can be with you for the night, alright.” i meannnnn need i say more?!

how to tap into this energy?

listen closely to your intuition! work on your third eye because i’m hearing that you’re a powerful manifester and you don’t even truly know it. even if you do know this, you start doubting yourself and limiting your own thoughts. always think big and bigger because it’s in your reach. don’t get so caught up in the “how?” because your manifestations can appear in many different ways, not just one. you have a clear vision into the future – you just gotta adjust your lens and focus on what it is that YOU want. who cares if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else, as along as you see the vision then it’s a go! listen to ‘i want it all’ by sharpay evans lol you need to embody that song and its energy.

PILE TWO.

hey, pile 2! i’m hearing you’ve been putting up with the bullshit for wayyyy too long and this next glow up is gonna be a proper FUCK YOU to all your haters! i feel like people take your kindness for weakness and you feel like you don’t get the respect you deserve. you can deal with a lot of passive aggression in your relationships or friendships and people expect for you to suck it up and be okay with it. what i’m mainly picking up is that you like to keep the peace. you don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feather, but it just makes it worse for you because you’re not truly expressing yourself and your emotions. this keeps you up at night like “ugh! i should’ve said this or I should’ve stuck up for myself and finally cussed so and so tf out.” but you don’t because you know why, pile 2? you’re better than them, simple as that.

you wouldn’t treat anybody how some people treat you, and the reality is that it’s so much harder to be nice than it is to be mean. anybody can be mean and say hurtful shit if they really wanted to, but to always be graceful and kind in the face of adversity and ignorance? rare af. +10000 aura points! don’t let anybody make you feel less than or like you can’t speak up for yourself. this next glow up you’re going to use your voice and really make it known that you are not to be fucked with, okay?! you will be standing your ground and really popping your shit in the most calm and collected way possible & people are gonna be like “wait…did [y/n] really just clock me like that?!” and you’re gonna be standing 10 toes down on it as you should. they’ll have no choice but to respect you lol. you will start to realize what is worth your time & energy and what isn’t.

you might start cutting off people that don’t mean you any good and really start to focus on yourself and your energy. no more walking on egg shells and sparing peoples feelings, this is YOUR life and you have a voice just as much as they do – so use it! i think you’ll also be meeting new friends & a potential love interest during this next glow up. i’m hearing ‘how stella got her groove back’ lol so yeah some of you might be playing the field a little bit.

some of you might just want something casual and nothing more because you just want to focus on your own healing journey. you’ll start to understand why things had to happen the way that they did & why certain relationships didn’t work out the way that you thought they would. you’ll be able to decipher what you are and aren’t willing to put up with and honestly i just see you bossing tf up and advocating for yourself no matter who doesn’t like it. that tiktok “nobody loves you baby! you should only love yourself – ON MY SOUL!” just randomly came to me lmfaooo this is your ‘i’m focusing on what really matters aka me’ era and i think it’s exactly what you need pile 2.

how to tap into this energy?

i think you need to transmute the negative energy that people try to project on you into something positive. 12:12 on the clock, yeah. like look at this way, if people doubt you, don’t respect you or don’t feel like your capable of achieving great things then use that to your advantage. let them underestimate you all they want, and then BAM boss up on them and show them who tf you are. what they don’t know only makes you stronger. you have the power to make some powerful ass connections and make a name for yourself so be calculated & strategic with your moves. people will be eating their words when it comes to you, pile 2.

PILE THREE.

pile 3 your next glow up is gonna be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ngl, but very rewarding nonetheless. i’m hearing that one tiktok sound “you gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. love what you got and remember what you had.” so yeah i think you’re really gonna be figuring out how to transmute your energy and create something from it – whether that be a job opportunity, a love offer, a trip, etc. there’s something that you really want and you’re doing the work to make it happen. you have the plan, you just need the platform lol.

for some of you, i see a major relationship coming to an end. this could be a lover or a best friend, but this person will be exposed because they’re not who you thought they were. this person has very sneaky/deceptive energy and you’ve been in the dark about this for way too long. this person/connection means a lot to you, so you will feel like this is a tough situation to completely walk away from; but my sweet pile 3’s you will be more than okay! you will be spectacular! 10:10 was just on the clock.

allow yourself to sort through your emotions and learn from the situation, don’t let it weigh you down. sometimes we get too caught up in how long we’ve been with somebody and all of the good memories we made with them, that makes us hesitant to move on. sometimes things just run its course and you’re no longer in alignment with that person. you can’t force anything or anyone in your life that doesn’t align with your highest self and that can be very hard to process when emotions are involved but i’m happy to let you know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

i see some of you traveling to a place you’ve always wanted to go and possibly meeting a potential love interest. in this next glow up, you’ll be doing things that you’ve always wanted to do cause there’s no one holding you back. you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and just taking a leap of faith – high risk, high reward. you’re gonna be making time for yourself and also prioritizing your hobbies/interests. this is beautiful, pile 3. i see you really getting in touch with who you are at the core. be kind and gentle with yourself, because you are a precious gem that a lot of people value and care about.

how to tap into this energy?

stop giving your power away. work on your throat chakra, my loves. your voice is your power and it’s one of the major keys to your success. a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, so you need to speak up and communicate what it is that YOU want and not just say what people want to hear. this next glow up will really have you standing in your power. release is needed especially verbally cause you know that tight feeling you get in your throat when you’re tryna stop yourself from crying? yeah no more of that. no more walking on egg shells, pile 3. say what you feel and stand on it & watch how the tides turn in your favor. mwah!

PILE FOUR.

alright, pile 4! for this next glow up i see you moving. some of you might actually be moving into a new home or apartment and it’s gonna grant you so much peace and comfort. for others of you, this could be you moving on emotionally from a toxic relationship and/or familial bond and finally getting the clarity and peace you need to cut all ties and move onto something better. whatever the situation may be, it was weighing heavy on you and making you feel very down.

you’re gonna feel so free when you leave this situation behind, it’s not even funny. i’m hearing that you were a gilded bird in a cage. some of you could’ve been moving from place to place, not feeling quite settled or financially stable. if you feel lost right now and like you don’t know what to do with your life/where it’s taking you, i just wanna say keep going – W.A.Y.S. by jhené aiko is coming to mind. “if there's one thing that i learned while in those county lines, is that everything takes time. you have gotta lose your pride, you have gotta lose your mind just to find your peace of mind.” awww yeah that’s your theme song for this next glow up. things might not make sense right now, but please trust me when i say that everything is going to work out in your favor & things will be better than you could ever imagine.

you will be blessed with the tools you need to get to this next phase of your life. you are the source, pile 4. whatever you put your mind to, you can surely achieve! don’t let 3D circumstances throw you off, you are so abundant and prosperous you will see in this next glow up just how much of a powerful manifester you really are. you’re still trying to find yourself and figure out where you fit in in the world, but you don’t have to put yourself in a box, pile 4. pave your own way and once you do others will want to follow suit. no one can see your future the way that you do, so keep doing your thing because i’m seeing that you will come across people/friends that share similar interests and niches as you. awww pile 4 you’re going to find your soul tribe.

you have this flighty energy about you (air sign energy/esp gemini) like you’re from one thing to the next and you can’t figure out what you truly want to do. some of you might be in college or almost about to graduate and when people ask you “do you know what you want to do?” you’re like uhhhh….]>|>]^>.]€]€]£ like you truly don’t know but like that’s okay cause actually you do know! on a soul level, you know. what’s understood doesn’t have to be explained pile 4 lol people might not get it now but when you pop out living the life you’ve always dreamed of, TUH. they’ll understand then.

how to tap into this energy?

get out of your head so much and just vibe, pile 4. you can plan plan plan all you want but the reality is: shit happens! it might annoy you or make you feel incredibly frustrated when another problem or inconvenience pops up in your life, but there’s nothing you can’t overcome. it’s life. you will be greatful for these experiences in the long run because it will be another bridge that you’ve already crossed and dealt with, so you won’t fold under pressure – you’ll just already know what to do. you got this, pile 4. shit is about to get really good for you.

[neocrias]

Hello can you do 7dream headcanon: ways to win their hearts/ to approach them?pls

Thanks🤍🤍

Sorry for the delay, we are a bit of a procrastinator

Ways to win their hearts

Mark – Being a Good Person

With Mark, it’s all about being genuinely good. He’s known for being a leader and has been working in the industry from a young age, so he’s deeply touched by understanding and empathetic people who show genuine interest in him and his feelings. But there’s one thing that truly wins him over: being good with kids.

For him, that’s the ultimate sign of a good person. Mark is family-centered, and if he sees the person he’s interested in playing with a child, being kind and gentle… he might just drop to his knees and propose on the spot. Of course, this would come after an already established connection between him and his S/O.

Renjun - Artistic and Intellectual

Our Renjun himself can be a very introspective, reflective and artistical person. For one like this, being in touch with those higher forms of human essence could be a sign that someone is... well, special.

For him, I think he'd just really appreciate having someone who can add to his unique perspectives, have their own strong and remarkable opinions about the interests they have in common. Bonus points if the person knows how to articulate their thoughts and defends their points of view fiercely (he would definitelyyy find that hot), or if they're artists themselves.

Jeno – Compliments

Jeno is a calm and composed guy who loves being praised and appreciated. Acknowledging his skills is the key to his heart. If you compliment him often or make it clear how amazing he is, he’ll melt—after all, he’s just a puppy at heart. Tell him, “Good boy,” and give him two pats on the head, and he’ll be wagging his tail in no time.

Something like: “Hey, can you grab that box for me? Careful, it’s heavy—wow, you’re really strong…” When he lifts it effortlessly, Jeno will pretend he’s unfazed, but inside, he’s screaming: Oh my god, she wants me SO bad. I’m irresistible.

Haechan – Challenge

This man thrives on challenges and dynamic interactions. He absolutely lives for the thrill of breaking you, teasing you until you snap, pushing you until you lash out at him, making you so frustrated you want to cry (I once heard he likes making his sister cry or something). BUT- when you fight back???

That’s it. There’s no one else. Just you.

He loves when someone doesn’t fall for his charm immediately, when they challenge him right back, when they don’t get flustered but instead match his energy. If you fire back with even more wit and mischief, Haechan will be absolutely hooked.

Jaemin - Common Interests and Shyness

Okay, we've come to this: Na Jaemin, the leo. Although Jaemin might do and say things that have us all asking ourselves "wth does he mean with that", I also believe that he's much more of an open person than we take him for. Jaemin would really appreciate a partner who shared same experiences and hobbies as his, as a leo, because that would get him a way of seeing himself in someone else - and believe me, he'd be head over heels. Plus, being understood and related just feels likes something he craves, especially because of all his eccentricity. Having someone to match his freak would be...welcome.

A plus is if the person is shy. Hear me out on this one: THE Na Jaemin, flirty and easygoing, trying to fluster his S/O who can only blush and giggle at his compliment showers. That would do wonders to his ego, and he would coo so badly with his kindergarden-teacher-voice.

Chenle - A listener

Our dear yapper Chenle. Yes, you got it right. He'd fall for someone who can keep up with his endless talking. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't really realize he's been talking nonstop for the last forty-minutes until he reaches an obnoxiously specific topic and asks the other person "wait, how did we get to this again?" - so it's not really personal.

However, this moment of epyphany in which he realizes he's been going on and on about different types of sauces for different types of meals for the last hour and the other person has just been nodding, observing and reacting properly will get him totally gone. Like wdym they've been ACTUALLY listening the whole time? He'd might just be in love!

(And yep, later in the relationship he might seriously refrain himself from talking too much, just because he wants the S/O to be talkative too. That'll make him realize that listening may end up being much fun to do - especially if you're listening to a loved one)

Jisung – Inexperience

Jisung was the maknae for way too long, and he’s tired of being seen as an innocent little boy - he wants to be seen as a man (sources? I made it up). That’s why I think he’d be incredibly obsessed with the idea of being the experienced, responsible one in a relationship—the one who leads the way and is trusted to make decisions. Not too much, though; he wouldn’t want someone completely dependent or childish.

He wants to teach things, everything he knows, everything he’s learned (from Chenle). He wants you to rely on him, to be sweet and gentle in a way that feels natural, and to let him take the lead in most situations.

[shiftthemoon]

will shifting ever be scientifically proven? a nerdy investigation. . .

reality shifting exists in a weird twilight zone between mysticism and science. on one hand, shifters claim full sensory experiences in different realities, describing their DRs as just as real—if not more real—than this one. on the other, skeptics dismiss it as intense imagination, an extension of lucid dreaming or dissociation at best.

so, will shifting ever be scientifically proven? will we one day have brain scans, peer-reviewed studies, and neuroscientific validation backing it up? or will it remain in the same category as astral projection and past-life regression—forever debated, never confirmed?

guys, this isn’t just a yes-or-no question. it’s a deep dive into how science deals with the unknown, how history has repeatedly proven skeptics wrong, and whether shifting might be next!!!

what science currently says: shifting vs. similar phenomena

while shifting itself hasn’t been studied in depth (yet), we do have research on similar states of consciousness—lucid dreaming, hypnosis, and even maladaptive daydreaming (to an extent). so, what does science say about these?

1. lucid dreaming: once called “impossible,” now neurologically proven

not too long ago, lucid dreaming was considered pseudoscience. the idea that someone could be conscious while dreaming sounded absurd—until researchers found a way to prove it.

scientists like stephen laberge used fMRI scans and eye movement signals from sleeping participants to confirm that lucid dreamers were indeed aware and controlling their dreams. we now know that lucid dreaming involves a unique interplay between the prefrontal cortex (responsible for self-awareness and decision-making) and the REM sleep stage.

before this research? lucid dreamers were written off as liars, delusional, or mistaking their dreams for something they weren’t. sound familiar?

2. hypnosis: once dismissed, now widely used in medicine

hypnosis was once labeled as stage magic and a party trick. today, it’s an accepted psychological phenomenon used in therapy, pain management, and even surgery (yes, surgery—some patients have undergone operations using only hypnosis as anesthesia).

neuroscientific studies show that hypnosis alters brain activity, shifting people into a highly focused state where the brain processes suggestions as reality. if science could accept that the mind can be influenced to perceive reality differently, why is shifting such a stretch?

3. maladaptive daydreaming: a new but recognized condition

maladaptive daydreaming wasn’t officially named until 2002, when professor eli somer identified it as a distinct phenomenon. before then, people struggling with excessive, immersive daydreaming were misdiagnosed with ADHD, OCD, or dissociative disorders.

now, we have concrete research proving that MD is neurologically distinct from normal imagination, linked to overactivity in the default mode network (DMN)—the brain’s self-referential system.

again, before science caught up, these people were called lazy, unfocused, or simply too imaginative. now? it’s a legitimate condition with ongoing research.

what can we take away from that? well, this formula, probably:

history repeats itself: the cycle of disbelief → proof → acceptance

science has a history of mocking what it doesn’t yet understand. let’s not forget that:

• germ theory was laughed at—until microscopes proved bacteria existed.

• deep-sea creatures? dismissed as sailor myths—until we developed better submersibles.

• lucid dreaming, hypnosis, and MD—all called “fake”, until research proved otherwise.

what does this tell us? if shifting is real, the fact that it hasn’t been proven yet doesn’t mean it won’t be. it just means science hasn’t caught up.

but, i like being thorough & unbiased, so i’ll list a few reasons i think or don’t think it’ll be proven!

reasons shifting might be proven

1. brain scans might reveal shifting-specific activity.

• fMRI studies could eventually show unique neurological patterns in shifting states, differentiating it from dreaming or imagination.

2. science is moving towards studying altered consciousness.

• lucid dreaming, astral projection, and out-of-body experiences are getting more attention in neuroscience. shifting could be next.

3. quantum theories suggest consciousness may not be confined to the brain.

• theories like the many-worlds interpretation propose infinite parallel realities—if true, shifting might be tapping into that.

4. hypnosis proves perception can be altered at a deep level.

• shifting might be a self-induced state where the brain accepts a different reality as real.

5. historical precedent shows that dismissed phenomena often get validated later.

reasons shifting might never be proven

1. there’s no scientific method to test it yet.

• unlike lucid dreaming (where we can confirm awareness inside dreams), there’s no current way to measure or prove someone is in a DR.

2. it relies on subjective experience.

• shifting is deeply personal—there’s no external way to prove someone’s consciousness is in another reality.

3. science still struggles to define consciousness itself.

• if we don’t fully understand what consciousness is, proving it can move between realities is even harder.

4. there’s no physical evidence of DRs existing.

• unless we discover parallel realities and a way to interact with them, shifting might remain in the realm of belief rather than science.

5. mainstream science is slow to accept unconventional ideas.

• even if shifting is real, it could take decades—or even centuries—for science to acknowledge it.

my verdict: will shifting ever be proven?

it depends on what shifting actually is.

• if shifting is a genuine form of multiversal travel, it might take quantum physics advancing far beyond what we currently know to validate it.

• if shifting is a unique altered state of consciousness, neuroscience might eventually find evidence through brain imaging studies.

• if shifting is something else entirely—something we don’t even have a framework for yet—it might never be proven in our lifetime.

but history has shown that just because science hasn’t proven something yet doesn’t mean it won’t. skepticism is often just delayed understanding.

so, will shifting be scientifically proven? not tomorrow, not next year—but if history has taught us anything, it’s that the impossible has a habit of becoming reality.

and when that day comes, best believe we’ll be the ones saying “told you so.”

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Thinking about…

Alastor and Bill Cipher after the same s/o (headcannons)

Hazbin Masterlist // Disney Masterlist // Navigation

Warnings: Obsessive behavior! Alastor being sadistic, Bill being a bit weird because duh, wrote this with Human form Bill Cipher in mind, mentions of death

A/N: I really like this dynamic, even though it’s kind of crazy and a lose lose situation for the reader, but it’s still interesting to write about. I hope you all enjoy!!

Alastor

• Alastor isn’t just charming; he’s obsessed with making you see him as the ultimate catch. He meticulously plans every interaction, ensuring that you are always impressed and feel valued. Every compliment and gesture is calculated to win your heart.

“Why there’s that smile I love to see my dear! Ever the beauty!”

Alastor can’t stand the thought of you being attracted to anyone else, especially Bill. He tries to mask his jealousy with his usual grace and horribly timed jokes, but it’s evident in the subtle digs he takes at Bill whenever you mention him.

When Alastor is alone with you he’s not above grand, romantic gestures. Picture him serenading you with an old-fashioned love song or setting up a beautiful, intimate dinner where he pours out his feelings and tries to convince you that he’s the best choice for a partner and way better than bill in all aspects of the word.

Alastor’s affection for you is deeply strategic. He genuinely cares, but he’s also careful in how he shows it. He’ll often try to subtly make you see how a relationship with him would be beneficial, not just for personal pleasure but for gaining power and influence. He’s a very strong man and his image is important, what’s not to want about him?

“Don’t you love this view dear? We could be here all the time, if you wished.”

Alastor envisions a future where you are by his side, helping him dominate Hell. His feelings are not just about the present but about creating a powerful, enduring relationship. He dreams of ruling Hell together, and he’s willing to go to great lengths to make that vision a reality.

But not all things with Alastor are good, you know how much he HATESSSS modern technology and well, it’s how the world runs now. this is something Bill definitely used against him

“Don’t get intimated by a big screen deer man!”

Though he hates how Bills joke makes you laugh, his smile tightens nonetheless

Alastor will often put doubts into your mind about Bill. He is partially right, so it does make you wonder…

“What if he were to suddenly get tired of you? My dear, he’s traveled galaxies and destroyed universes. You wouldn’t want to be subject to that would you?”

or maybe something like,

“That little shape is no better than a toddler. He can’t even take proper care of his toys, breaking them when he gets bored. How pitiful.”

Bill Cipher

Bill is intensely infatuated with you. His feelings might come across as chaotic and erratic, per usual, but underneath, he’s deeply drawn to your spirit and individuality. He finds your uniqueness thrilling and wants to be the one to make your life as unpredictable and exciting as possible.

“ Wanna see this guy dance with his eyes hanging out of his sockets? Gotta tell ya’ you’ll never see anything like it ever!”

Bill’s way of showing affection is through wild and flirtatious chaos. He might sweep you into a whirlwind of bizarre, fantastical experiences, always with an underlying flirtation that makes it clear he’s very interested in you.

Bill knows how to push Alastor’s buttons. He often uses his chaotic antics to draw your attention away from Alastor, playfully teasing him and making a show of his own appeal. For Bill, it’s not just about romance; it’s about proving he’s the more exciting option, you’ll never be bored of him!

Despite his chaotic nature, Bill genuinely wants a deep connection with you, even if he does have a weird way of being about it. He’s drawn to your complexity and wants to show you that his brand of chaos can be both thrilling and deeply meaningful. He might surprise you with moments of surprising sincerity.

Bill is not afraid to take big risks to win you over. He’s willing to gamble with the very fabric of reality just to create memorable moments. His love is unpredictable and intense, and he hopes you will find that thrilling rather than overwhelming.

Bill is the type of guy to take you to a different reality for a date, wanna go watch marshans fight? no problem! upset about something? let’s go to this dimension where you can blow anything up!

He’s definitely got jokes though, and he’s good at them too

“Hey furry, why don’t you cut that loose part of your hair? OH wait, it’s your EARS!”

Bill is no fool though, he sees EVERYTHING, so it’s really difficult to hide things from him, which means being with him also means you losing your privacy.

“He’s a sociopath dove, you can’t really believe that radio freak actually likes you right?”

He isn’t wrong, Alastor has proven multiple times he keeps people around because he needs them for something, and Bill loves this

“What if you don’t satisfy him? What if he decides you’re not worth being with?”

or maybe he’ll say

“ You never know dove, what if he’s just after your soul? Maybe he likes the fact you put up a good fight, eh?”

Both demons have their crazies to them. Picking Alastor means Bill might destroy your dimension and maybe rearrange his molecules. But picking Bill means watching Alastor rip hell to shreds at your expense, hurting anyone and everyone to get you, maybe even threatening whoever you love.

Dating Alastor means you can kind of live a normal-ish life

Dating Bill means you keep your dimension

[paracosmicka]

As a trans man I love mpreg as long as it’s not fetishized. I want kids in the future so seeing mpreg is like going oh hey! Another seahorse dad! I don’t get to see myself in media much. It makes me uncomfortable when people don’t separate the 2 mpreg can be fetishized but it’s also a thing a lot of transgender afab go through. I know this is a sonadow account and it’s not that deep lol but thanks it’s cool seeing it :) saying that: more plz 🥹

This actually makes me feel so relieved bc another reason why I’m always hesitant to post pregnant Shadow is I’m worried that it can be seen as disrespectful or that if it might be used for fetishization purposes which isn’t really what I’d like my art to be associated with.

I don’t want to kink shame anyone, as an agender aroace person who does not experience any romantic or sexual desire whatsoever (i think? still learning about the different types of experiences within the aroace spectrum) I feel that I am literally the least qualified to talk about the morality behind mpreg as a kink/fetish.

With all that in mind, I do wanna say that I wish there was more transgender pregnancy representation that wasn’t just fetish. Like just googling “pregnancy symptoms” will give you a wide range of experiences, but when I was trying to look into if there were unique ways that pregnancy can effect trans men, it took a lot of digging so either I’m just stupid and can’t search things on the internet very well or there really isn’t a lot of representation of trans pregnancies.

Although I did recently learn that in the r/pregnancy subreddit, FTM does not in fact mean “Female to Male” and is actually just “First Time Mom” which makes a lot of sense bc for awhile I thought half of the subreddit were just trans guys. Then I discovered there is literally a subreddit r/seahorse_dads and so I spent awhile just reading a bunch of posts in there.

Anyway I’m fine just existing in my own space with sonadow family fluff, but when I share it I get all nervous bc mpreg is cringefail or whatever and I don’t even know if it’s cringe for being cringe or if it’s cringe bc it’s a fetish. Just know that whenever I post any art of any kind, I try to think as little as possible about how people will interpret my drawings, bc at the end of the day I just drew it because it made me happy and thinking about sonadow fluff gives me warm and fuzzy butterflies that I think people are supposed feel when they’re in love but I’ve never experienced that for another person in my entire life and I don’t think I’ll be able to. So thinking about and drawing sonadow is probably the closest I’ll get to that feeling.

And it makes me even more happy when people say they genuinely connected with my art bc then I know that the warm and fuzzy butterflies feeling got through, and I’m just really glad we can all get our little serotonin boost from these stupid gay hedgehogs.

I genuinely don’t think any of this makes sense I’ve spent 3 hours trying to write a response to this ask and then I remembered that I got zero sleeps last night so that’s probably why brain no worky but in conclusion: thank you for the ask Anon it really made my day and I’m spiritually headbutting you like a cat as they say

[ilguna]

☼ odds are (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; you and Finnick have never seen eye to eye, despite both being close friends with Johanna. it isn't until you save his life in the arena, does he see you different.

warnings; swearing, weapon use, blood, ehhh gore, death, drug mention, kinda starvation mention, suicide (mags), puke mention, the usual hunger games stuff.

wc; 9.6k

--

If there’s one thing that you’ve learned so far about the other district’s personalities since becoming a mentor, it’s that District Four produces the most annoying people by far. You don’t know if they’re born that way, or if it’s the water they drink, but they take that top spot without a close runner up.

Which is crazy, considering people like Enobaria and Gloss exist. They don’t know when to stop even when it’s obvious, yet they can be more mature than Finnick Odair is half the time.

He has the ego the size of a hovercraft and he just uses it to do whatever he wants to whoever he wants. He thinks that if he can smother someone enough, they’ll back down and let him have his way. Arguing with Finnick is truly like talking to someone who always assumes they’re right just because they’re older than you.

Except, in this case, it’s because he’s been mentoring longer, since he won ten years ago. It gives him seniority in calling the shots, or it does in his mind, at least. 

He wants to be the main ally that corrales Katniss and Peeta into doing what’s best in the arena. The problem with that is Katniss doesn’t like Finnick, which will make it a huge ordeal trying to get her to do anything for him. He seems to think that as long as Peeta trusts him, Katniss will follow.

Only, Peeta’s not a complete idiot and he knows how to think for himself. Beyond that, in a setting where there’s going to be twenty-two other tributes that have also won the Hunger Games in their own unique ways—Peeta’s going to follow Katniss’s lead. There’s not a single doubt in your mind that he’s going to let her take the reins and trust her to protect him in dangerous situations.

So, in the end, while Peeta might have his own opinions on what he’d like to do, he’s going to value Katniss’s opinion first. 

Finnick can’t seem to understand that. It doesn’t matter how you explain it to him, he doesn’t want you to be right. Even with Johanna standing here, telling him that you’re not wrong, he refuses to believe it. 

“You’re just going to make her mad.” You tell him again, throwing your hand up. “We all saw the way she looked at you yesterday, and today she’s gone out of her way to make sure she can’t talk to you.”

Finnick glances over in Katniss and Peeta’s direction. They’re on the far side of the Training Center, sitting with Cecelia from District Eight. This morning’s the last chance you get to train before the private session with the Gamemakers in the afternoon. From what you’ve been watching, they’re taking it easy.

“We already knew she wasn’t going to like me.”

“Does it have anything to do with the way you approached her during the parade?” You ask back, tilting your head. “You’re terrible at first impressions.”

“I am not.” Finnick’s face twists.

“Yeah, and that’s why we’re friends, right?” Your tone sarcastic. “I’m not asking for your permission, I’m going to tell Haymitch that you’ll meet up with us later on down the line.”

Finnick shakes his head. “That makes no sense. You are not a strong fighter, I need to be there to help with Katniss.”

“Katniss doesn’t need help!” You exclaim quietly. “What Katniss needed is someone she can trust, and that’s obviously me. I just spent the past two days getting to know her. She doesn’t want to be around either of you.” 

You then place your hand on Johanna’s shoulder, but she gives you a shrug. “I don’t care. She’s going to have to deal with me sooner or later. I have no preference.”

“You have basically no fighting experience, all you’ll do is get in her way.” Finnick tells you.

“Excuse me, I do know how to fight. I set the highest score when it came to hand-to-hand combat with a weapon.”

“When?” Finnick asks, not believing you.

“Today.”

“Bullshit.”

“Finnick, she’s not lying.” Johanna sighs. “And that’s besides the point. We can’t keep (Y/n) out of the plan just because you can’t get along with her. She’s right about Katniss.”

“I can and will keep her out of the fight.” Finnick tells Johanna, causing your face to scrunch up. “Who’s going to get to the Cornucopia first, you or me?”

“I’m not airheaded enough to think it’s me.” You snap back. “But—”

“Katniss knows how to swim, we saw it last year. She’s going to get there second. What stops me then?”

“Me, when I get my fucking hands around your neck.” You point at him. “What happens on the off-chance you chase her off? What’s your big idea then?”

“Haymitch is going to get me something to signal to her that we’re already allies.” Finnick shrugs. “I bet he didn’t talk to you about anything like that.”

“He doesn’t have to.” You laugh. “That’s the entire point. I don’t need him to signal to her about anything. She picked me as an ally on that first day. You can’t say the same. It says a lot about your character.”

“My character?” He’s unimpressed.

“No one likes you!” You shout at him.

“Okay,” Johanna says. “Let’s talk with Haymitch tonight, see what he has to say about the situation.”

“Fine, but I’m not spending the rest of my day with this idiot.” You tell her.

—

Monkeys.

At first, it was only a couple that were hanging above Peeta, who couldn’t be more oblivious. Now, a troop of them have gathered in the twilight in the time it’s taken you, Finnick and Katniss to assess the situation. They’ve completely appeared out of thin air, gathering on open branches.

And they’re all watching Peeta.

You eye Finnick, wondering what he’s thinking on how he wants to handle this. After all, he’s been directed to take charge in situations where Katniss and Peeta’s lives are in danger. Or rather, he asked Haymitch to make it official, because he couldn’t live with the idea that you might be the better fit.

Either way, there’s several different approaches you could take. Does he want to go to Peeta and guide him out of the jungle to make sure he keeps his head down or will that trigger the monkeys? You could try gathering around Peeta and set off the monkeys on purpose to ensure you’re in control, because they’re bound to go off anyway… right?

Or maybe it’s a better idea to lure Peeta out of the jungle and hope for the best?

Katniss makes a decision before Finnick does, carefully arming her bow with two arrows, just in case a fight shows itself. This causes Finnick to nervously adjust the trident in his hand, not ready for what she’s planning on doing.

You, on the other hand, trust her. 

“Peeta.” Katniss’s voice is calm, but there’s a slight edge to her voice if you listen closely. “I need your help with something.”

“Okay, just a minute. I think I’ve just about got it.” Peeta tells her, fiddling with the tree so he can put the spile in the bark. “Yes, there. Have you got the spile?”

“I do. But we’ve found something you’d better take a look at,” Katniss continues. “Only move toward us quietly, so you don’t startle it.”

Katniss has decided to lure Peeta out, then. It’s not a bad plan. With how the monkeys are tracking Peeta’s every movement, anything mildly offensive could cause them to attack. And since eye contact is a form of aggression, he needs to keep his head down.

Peeta turns to face the three of you, panting from trying to drill into the tree with the awl that Mags had passed over before she died. “Okay.” He agrees, not an ounce of hesitation.

He begins to come in your direction, but he’s not at all being quiet whatsoever. This is expected, he wasn’t last year, either. He’s not used to hunting or gently shuffling your feet through leaves. He worked in a bakery, carrying heavy bags over his shoulder.

It doesn’t matter, as long as the monkeys are holding their position—and they are—despite the amount of noise he’s making. He’s only five yards from the beach, where you’re standing, when he finally feels how off the air is. His eyes dart up for only a split second, but that’s all it takes.

Their shrieking fills the air, almost causing you to cover your ears at the pitch. The monkeys launch themselves off the branches and aim straight for Peeta, ready to kill. They’re too quick for your eyes, making them one blur. They slide down vines, jump from the trees with teeth bared, hacked raised and claws as sharp as knives.

You jerk forward, drawing your sword back to swing as soon as you get into range.

“Mutts!” Katniss blurts, in case you haven’t figured it out by now.

Katniss and Finnick take off after you. You swing hard, right at the first monkey that thinks they can get their paws on Peeta. The blade cuts right through fur, slicing skin right open, blood flying everywhere. The mutt collapses, struggling to breathe.

It’s just the first of many.

You move on, drawing Peeta in closer to protect him easier. Katniss shoots her arrows two at a time, taking down twice the amount of mutts you can. Finnick tries to keep up with her pace by spearing several of them at once and flinging them aside. Peeta can’t do much with his knife, but you’re able to keep them off of him with just your sword.

The fight grows harder the longer it goes on as you try to see through the darkness, breathing in the cloud of blood and must. Even as you end up back to back with your allies, it doesn’t get any easier. 

“Peeta!” Katniss suddenly shouts. “Your arrows!”

Peeta stops swinging, briefly looking over at Katniss to see what she means. In an instant, he begins to slide out of his sheath so that he can hand it over to her. He doesn’t even wait to make sure the coast is clear before he does.

“Peeta!” You blurt.

You swing at a mutt that’s already coming at you, catching the sight of another one flying out of a tree, heading in his direction. For a moment, you think you have just enough time to fling the monkey off your sword to save him, but the mutt at the end of your blade grabs your wrist, yanking you out of the formation.

You’re thrown into the jungle, a blur of green and brown passing by, until you hit the ground. You roll for a couple of feet, and then come to a stop, staring at the leaves above your head, trying to get a hold of your air. There’s a dull pain on the right side of your body from the impact.

And then you get back up.

Katniss is running for Peeta, hands outreached to grab him before the mutt does, but she’s too far. 

A body materializes from one of the trees, screaming, jumping in front of him just in time. The mutt’s claws swing inward pulling—who you believe to be—the morphling from District Six in for a deadly hug as it sinks its canines into her chest.

You’ve managed to regroup with them now. Peeta wiggles out of the sheath, letting it fall to the dirt so he can bury his knife into the monkey’s back. He stabs it repeatedly until it finally releases its jaw, kicking it away. Katniss retrieves her arrows, loading her bow, waiting for another attack.

You turn to look at the monkeys in the trees, curious to see what they’re doing. They stare back at you, unmoving, observing you the same way. Beside you, Finnick is breathing heavy, trident resting on the ground. He must think that the fight is over, then.

“Come on, then! Come on!” Peeta shouts at the mutts, trying to egg them on. 

They seem disinterested in continuing though, satisfied with the life they’ve taken, retreating. They disappear into the darkness of the jungle silently, and even though it appears they’re gone, it doesn’t feel like it.

“Get her,” Katniss says, she’s talking to Peeta. “We’ll cover you.”

You eye the morphling, who’s audibly wheezing, not quite dead yet, but she will be soon. Peeta carefully lifts her, turning to leave the jungle, the beach being a few feet away. Finnick motions for Katniss to follow Peeta, you don’t even bother to argue with him about who goes next after that.

There are several orange bodies on the ground on the way out. You step over them, wary of the possibility that they could be pretending to be dead. As soon as you step foot onto sand, a shiver runs up your spine, causing your neck to shrink into your shoulders.

You tense too harshly, the pain in your side returns. You can’t help the gasp that escapes you as you reach to grab your exposed skin. Since you no longer have a jumpsuit to protect you because of the poisonous fog, several cuts and scrapes have been inflicted across your skin.

“Cold?” Finnick asks, it sounds like he’s teasing. Before you can answer, he keeps going, “Or does your body hurt because you couldn’t handle some hand-to-hand combat?” 

You look over your shoulder to see him, eyes narrowed into slits. “You think you’re so funny.”

“What about my observation makes you think that I’m joking?” He asks, coming to a stop. “You just proved me right.”

“What are you talking about?” You ask, face twisting. “Prove you right, how? We’ve barely said anything to each other since the Cornucopia.”

“You have no fighting experience.” He tells you with a straight face. “You’re a danger to the alliance.”

You press your lips together, staring at him, holding back the urge to scream profanities in his face. 

What would he have liked you to do at that moment? You were occupied with a mutt, and Peeta just straight-up abandoned his job to give Katniss a sheath without thinking twice. You were off your game because you didn’t know what to do with a monkey flying at him, while trying to defend yourself at the same time. 

You’ll give it to Finnick, you made an error which could’ve easily have resulted in your death, but it didn’t. What he doesn’t realize is that you will learn from it, you don’t often make the same mistakes twice. You’re not a fucking child, either.

“You forget I was invited to the alliance.” You tell him, choosing not to engage in his behavior. “I don’t know why I bothered responding to you.” You start to move away from him. “All you’re capable of doing is criticizing people.”

You turn away from him, heading to Katniss and Peeta, who are hovering over the morphling girl. They have cut away the jumpsuit over her chest, revealing the four puncture wounds from the mutt’s fangs. There’s blood slowly running out of them, making the situation appear better than it is. 

She’s gasping for air, desperate for every lungful, holding onto Katniss’s hands, unable to control her twitching. A part of you wonders if she accidentally got caught up in the fog, but that can’t be the case. It has to be withdrawal, considering the green shade of her skin, her prominent cheekbones. She watches the clouds in the sky blankly, trying to hold on.

“I’ll watch the trees.” Finnick says, right before turning away from the scene.

You stare at the back of his head, and then turn your attention back to the morphling. Peeta moves to be on the other side of her, crouching down to gently stroke her hair, speaking quietly. “With my paint box at home, I can make every color imaginable. Pink. As pale as a baby’s skin. Or as deep as rhubarb. Green like spring grass. Blue that shimmers like ice on water.”

The morphling is completely encapsulated by his words.

“One time, I spent three days mixing paint until I found the right shade for sunlight on white fur. You see, I kept thinking it was yellow, but it was much more than that. Layers of all sorts of color. One by one.” Peeta murmurs.

Rustling of leaves drags you out of what he’s saying, you look over in time to catch the back of Finnick’s body, heading back into the jungle. You give a glance to Katniss, who seems to be in her own world at the moment, and decide that they can protect themselves for a moment while you have a conversation with Finnick.

You head straight in without an ounce of hesitation, following the sound of muttering, leading you straight to him. He’s picking the arrows out of the grass, swinging them out periodically to rid them of the mutt blood they’re soaked in.

“Listen,” You start, Finnick pauses long enough to look at you, before going back to what he was doing. “I get it, you don’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. I don’t need you up my ass about every decision I make. So, worry about yourself, and I will worry about me.”

“I’m not up your ass.” He scoffs. “I was pointing out what happened. You can’t fight, it’s a fact.”

“It’s not.” You shake your head. “While I was trying to kill the mutt, I was figuring out how to save Peeta, there was a monkey—”

Finnick holds up his hand, cutting you off. “I don’t need your excuse.”

You tilt your head at him, lips parted, actually speechless. You knew Finnick’s personality resembled a dumpster, but you’ve never experienced it yourself. It’s always been second hand retellings from your friends.

“Anything else?” Finnick asks after a moment of silence.

You’re stewing again. It’s insane how easy it would be to tear him down from the horse he sits on, but you can’t afford ruining the alliance. With how he’s acting, you wouldn’t put it past him to throw in the towel and tell you to do it yourself. Which you can do, it’s just a matter of whether or not you’d like to at this point.

While you’re glowering at him, thinking of a response that doesn’t end in the two of you fighting, something moves from behind his head. You take a step to the side, eyes searching the ground, but you quickly realize that’s not where it is. It’s up in the trees.

“What?” Finnick asks.

“We should leave the jungle.” You tell him, not wanting to mention it in case your eyes are playing tricks. “It’s not safe here.”

Finnick digs his heels in. “Now you’re being paranoid.” 

He turns around, going back to rummaging through the greenery to find the arrows for Katniss. He’s already got a good handful already, does she really need the rest? 

A branch dips, your eyes flicker to it.

Even though the sun is finally rising, the light hasn’t quite reached this part of the arena yet. You pat your hip for your sword, afraid of what’s to come, and realize that you left it out on the beach with the Twelve tributes.

“I’m serious, let’s go.” You tell him.

“I don’t care.” He says back, inching closer to the tree.

A hand creeps out of the darkness, a furry hand wrapping around the branch further down, as if preparing itself to launch at him.

You bite the inside of your cheek. You can’t lure Finnick out the same way that Katniss did to Peeta. And you can’t fight your way out of this situation without a weapon. As nice as it would be to turn around and leave him in here, knowing what’s behind him, you’d never be able to live with it.

“Finnick, just trust me this once. Katniss has enough arrows.”

Finnick stands, the movement is too quick, causing the monkey mutt to jerk into the light, revealing itself too soon.

“If you’re scared, you can go back to the beach, (Y/n).”

“Finnick, get down.”

He takes a step toward you, mouth opened to continue what he was saying. You watch in horror as the mutt’s body tenses, getting ready to attack Finnick. You rush at him, the same way the morphling did to Peeta.

“Get out of the way!” You shout, jumping to tackle him.

Finnick turns in time to dodge you and the monkey, putting you into each other’s path, forcing you to collide. The monkey’s claws dig into your skin as it throws you down, your head flying back. A sharp pain strikes your skull, your vision immediately going black.

A rough hand grabs the underside of your arm, jolting you awake. You blink quickly, trying to get rid of the blurry vision as you’re harshly brought back to reality. The person tries to pull you to your feet, but your legs aren’t ready for the weight. Your knees buckle, hand grabbing the shoulder of whoever it is to steady yourself.

The throbbing in the back of your head begins, feeling like a giant headache. You wince, gritting your teeth, pressing the heel of your hand to your temple. The back of your neck feels wet and sticky.

“Can you stand?” An irritated voice asks.

It’s Finnick, face twisted into a hard expression. The grip you have on his shoulder loosens, you lock your knees to keep from falling over. You’re trembling though, you can see it when you let go of him completely.

“Yes, I’ve got it.”

You reach back and dab your hand against the sore area on your head. Your fingers are coated in blood, shining in the sunlight that manages to escape the leaves. A sigh leaves your lips, hand falling at your side.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Finnick asks.

You shrug your shoulders. “There was a monkey in the trees.”

“You couldn’t have told me that?” 

“The same way we could’ve told Peeta?” You counter, and then motion to the jungle. “I didn’t know how many there were. I left my sword on the beach.”

“Another great idea of yours.” He says.

You don’t say anything to him at first, turning to go back to the beach. Just before you hit the treeline, you murmur, “A thank you would be nice.”

Whether or not Finnick actually hears you is a mystery, because he doesn’t respond. 

Katniss and Peeta are sitting together in the sand, side by side, looking out at the water. Your sword is tucked at Katniss’s side, right next to her bow. You come to a stop a foot or so behind them.

Finnick passes you, dropping the arrows in the sand. “Thought you might want these.”

“Thanks.” Katniss says. “Where’s (Y/n)?”

“I’m here.” You tell her.

You continue dragging your feet through the sand, wanting to go to the water to clean the blood out of your hair before it dries. Katniss comes to join you soon after, mostly to clean her weapons. When she sees that you’re having trouble, she carefully massages the blood out.

When you’re done, Katniss goes to get moss from the jungle to dry off her arrows. You sit in the sand with your sword, haphazardly playing with the blade.

“Where did they go?” Katniss asks.

“The bodies? We don’t know exactly. The vines shifted and they were gone.” Finnick says.

Katniss hums. The four of you sit on the beach in silence, staring at the water, watching the sky come to life. Katniss starts to scratch her arm, and then stops suddenly, looking at you, and then to the boys. You follow her gaze curiously, and find them scratching at their faces.

It’s the scabs from the fog, Katniss’s skin is covered in them, so is half of Peeta’s body and Finnick’s face. You, however, not so much. You were able to stay ahead of the fog, you thought to guide them out with the best possible path. Still, Peeta has trouble with his prosthetic leg and he needed support and…

Finnick never should have asked Katniss to carry Mags down the hill. You knew as soon as the words came out of his mouth that he was making a mistake. Katniss doesn’t have that sort of strength, she’s a skinny girl. She might’ve put on some weight since her Games, but it basically replenished what was taken in the first place.

He should’ve asked you. And even though you tried to object, he shut you down and told you to keep running. You didn’t have time to argue with the fog closing in, so you went right back to what you’d been doing before. It wasn’t even three minutes later when Katniss fell with Mags on her, causing Mags to take the situation into her own hands.

She kissed Finnick goodbye and walked into the fog.

None of you have mentioned it since it happened. You would like to say something to Finnick, but you’re sure it wouldn’t go over well with him. You can guess what he’d say back to you, taking none of your feelings about her into consideration. Besides, he seems to be holding it together pretty well, the last thing you’d want to do is accidentally send him over the edge.

“Don’t scratch.” Katniss tells them. “You’ll only bring infection. Think it’s safe to try for the water again?”

You don’t move from where you sit, letting them go back into the jungle to gather water. You’ve already had more than your fair share of injury in the past hour and a half, you’ll let them take their chances.

Peeta brings back a shell of water for you to drink, and even goes back one more time for a refill. You thank him and tuck the shell of water into the sand for later. 

“Why don’t you three get some rest?” Katniss asks. “I’ll watch for a while.”

“No, Katniss, I’d rather.” Finnick says.

There’s a moment of silence, and then Katniss concedes. “All right, Finnick, thanks.”

Katniss and Peeta lay down in the sand, you don’t bother. You turn your back to Finnick to ensure he knows you’re disinterested in conversing with him. You spend the next few hours picking the clumps of bloody sand from your sword and flicking them toward the water.

You’re not entirely sure what Finnick does, and you don’t really care. The more you think about him and the alliance, the more irritated you grow, causing your pounding headache to get worse. 

First, he tells you that he’s going to get you kicked out of the alliance by talking to Haymitch before you, and he nearly does. It’s a good thing that Haymitch doesn’t make rash decisions, otherwise you’d be on your own right now. He was almost convinced that you’d be more harmful than useful to the rebellion.

It wasn’t until Katniss made a comment about how much she trusts you, did he make up his mind and tell Finnick to deal with it. Katniss doesn’t like people easily. It was different for Mags, Wiress and Beetee because they don’t really pose a threat to her, and she doesn’t think that they’d go out of their way to kill her.

With you, all she told Haymitch was that it was easy to talk to you and she didn’t feel like she had to hide her true feelings. Which is an accomplishment and something you can use to your advantage later if needed. For right now, it’s pretty clear what she’s thinking even if she’s doing her best to hide it.

Anyway, Finnick doesn’t like that you don’t have to try with Katniss. And just like he told you in the Training Center, Haymitch had to give him a gold bracelet to symbolise to Katniss that he can be trusted. Which was funny when you found out at the Cornucopia.

Finnick was right, you didn’t make it there first—not that you thought you were anyway—but you did show up a minute later. Katniss was the one that saw you and welcomed you onto the island, despite Finnick trying to tell her not to. 

He’s been pretty pissed and cold since.

By the time Katniss stirs awake, it’s about midmorning. Your sword is clean, the shell cup empty of water, and you’re surprisingly feeling a little bit better. And it appears that Finnick has been busy this entire time.

He’d woven a grass mat and laid it on some branches to shield Katniss and Peeta’s faces from the sun. There’s two bowls full of fresh water, and a third that contains shellfish. 

He sits with them in front of him, cracking shellfish open with a stone. “They’re better fresh.” He tells Katniss, ripping flesh from the shell and popping it in his mouth. His eyes are puffy.

A tang of sadness hits you, you can’t imagine how difficult it’d been for him to cry silently with you sitting so close. His eyes lock with yours briefly before you turn away, getting to your feet. You brush the sand from your skin.

Katniss goes to reach for one of the shells but stops. She then holds her fingers close to her face, observing the blood beneath her nails.

“You know, if you scratch you’ll bring on infection.” Finnick says.

“That’s what I’ve heard.” She says, getting up to wash the blood off in the water. She stomps back up to you two a moment later. “Hey, Haymitch, if you’re not too drunk, we could use a little something for our skin.” She tells the sky.

A second later, a parachute swings out of the jungle, heading for her. She reaches up to catch a tube in her hands. “About time.” She says, going to sit next to Finnick in the sand. 

She unscrews the lid, squeezing the thick, dark ointment into her palm. Her face twists, whether it be from the color or the smell, and then begins to massage it into her leg. A sigh escapes her while she closes her eyes.

“It’s like you’re decomposing.” Finnick says after she hands him the tube. But looks must not matter to him for the moment, because he gives in and starts to treat his skin as well.

“Poor Finnick. Is this the first time in your life you haven’t looked pretty?” Katniss teases.

“It must be. The sensation’s completely new. How have you managed it all these years?” He asks back.

“Just avoid mirrors. You’ll forget about it.”

“Not if I keep looking at you.” 

Katniss offers the tube to you, but you hold up your hand, shaking your head. “I’ll be fine, save it for yourselves.”

“You’ve got a couple spots.” She motions.

“I’m good, really. But thank you.”

You swing your sword, and then wander away from them, trying to put some more distance so you can sit alone for a while longer. They wake Peeta up a few minutes later, and then you can hear the cracking of shells against rocks. You don’t bother to join them for the meal, you’re still full from last night.

You draw shapes in the sand, smooth them over to start over, and then write names. It isn’t until you’re on the third one, do you realize it's the names of dead tributes that you’ve mentored recently. You stare at them, mystified as to why you’ve chosen them, of all the people you know.

A scream from across the arena interrupts the silence of the arena. Your head jerks up, eyes searching the trees beyond the Cornucopia to find the source. A wedge of the jungle begins to vibrate, a huge wave crests over the trees, coming down the hill. You get to your feet, sword clutched tightly in your hand as you watch the wave hit the center water, and distribute evenly over the Cornucopia.

The wave that comes toward you reaches your knees, going as far back as the treeline, before retreating back to the center lake. Katniss, Peeta and Finnick gather their belongings before they float away. 

A cannon fires. The hovercraft appears over where the water had come from, dipping down to collect the body. The claw comes back with the body, and that’s the last you see of the hovercraft.

You go to sit back down when Katniss’s head whips in your direction. “There.”

You turn your head, curious as to what she’s found. It’s three people stumbling on the beach, one of them being dragged onto the beach by the second, and the third is wandering in circles. They’re red, blood red.

“(Y/n), get back here.” Finnick hisses.

You don’t move from where you are, squinting at the figures.

“Who is that?” Peeta asks. “Or what? Muttations?”

The second person dragging the first suddenly drops the body, throwing their arms down at their sides and stomping their foot in anger—a move that you recognize from someone else, but can’t place your finger on. It isn’t until the person marches over to the third one to shove them over, do you realize.

“Johanna!” You shout, delighted. “Finally!”

“(Y/n)!” She replies.

You run toward her, sword swinging at your side, excited that you’re not stuck with Finnick by yourself anymore. Johanna will be able to act as a buffer between the two of you, and she’ll be able to shut him down when he gets mouthy with you now. 

You throw your sword to the side, slamming into a hug with Johanna. The two of you rotate, her laugh is musical in your ear. You’re so happy that she’s alive, you don’t know what you’d do without her.

When you pull away, you motion at her. “What are you covered in?”

Finnick walks up beside you, “Hey, Johanna.”

“Finnick.” She says, and then she motions to the jungle. “We thought it was rain, you know, because of the lightning, and we were all so thirsty. But when it started coming down, it turned out to be blood. Thick, hot blood. You couldn’t see, you couldn’t speak without getting a mouthful. We just staggered around, trying to get out of it. That’s when Blight hit the force field.”

A small gasp comes from you as you cover your mouth. “Johanna, I am so sorry.”

“Yeah, well, he wasn’t much, but he was from home.” She sighs. “And he left me alone with these two.” She nudges Beetee with her foot, he doesn’t seem to acknowledge it at all. “He got a knife in the back at the Cornucopia. And her—”

Wiress has gotten back to her feet, wandering, murmuring, “Tick, tock. Tick, tock.”

“Yeah, we know. Tick, tock. Nuts is in shock.” She rolls her eyes, but at the mention of Wiress’s nickname, she’s drawn to Johanna, placing her hands on her. Johanna shoves her down to the beach. “Just stay down, will you?”

Lay off her.” Katniss snaps.

Johanna’s eyes narrow at her. “Lay off her?” She hisses. In an instant, she raises her hand and goes to slap Katniss, but you’re able to grab her wrist before she’s successful, pulling Johanna away from her.  “Who do you think got them out of that bleeding jungle for you? You—”

Finnick steps in, tossing Johanna over his shoulder, forcing you to let go of her while he brings her to the water. You listen and watch as she screams some really insulting words at Katniss, and then Finnick drops her into the water to silence her. He does this until she goes quiet.

Katniss and Peeta take Beetee and Wiress to the water to clean the blood off of them, since they’re both incapable of doing it themselves. You wander to join Finnick and Johanna in the water, despite the unwelcoming glares you receive from Finnick.

—

“Get up.” Katniss suddenly orders, shaking Peeta, Finnick and Johanna awake. “Get up—we have to move.”

It’s about noon, judging by how the sun is positioned directly overhead in the sky. It’s been a relatively quiet morning these past couple hours, mostly because the entire group has spent it napping on the beach. For a while, you were sitting with both Johanna and Katniss, but Johanna eventually got tired and laid down on the beach.

You’re not entirely sure why Katniss suddenly feels the need to move. The only event that has happened recently is an announcement of sorts from the Gamemakers. A bell tolled twelve times like it had late last night, and the lightning started again. It must mean something to her, because she stood up to look around the arena.

“What is it?” Johanna slaps Katniss’s hand away.

“I think the arena works like a clock.” She says, Peeta rubs the sleep out of his eyes, while Finnick squints at the surrounding jungle. “(Y/n), you remember last night when the bell tolled?”

“Yeah.” You pull your knees to your chest, watching her.

“It was because it was midnight, and the start of the clock.”

“Twelve bongs.” Finnick murmurs.

“Yes.” She nods. “Wiress figured it out first, that’s why she’s tick-tocking. She’s trying to tell us the arena’s a clock.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Johanna says, shaking her head. 

“It does.” Katniss tells her. “Lightning at midnight, blood rain at two, poisonous fog at three, monkey mutts at four…” She trails off, assuming you get what she’s saying. 

Peeta’s nodding, looking down at the sand. “It’d explain why we had to deal with the fog and monkeys back-to-back.”

“So what’s going to happen now, then?” Johanna asks.

“Blood rain.” Finnick tells her.

The group of you sit in silence for a moment, digesting this. If she’s right, then that does mean you have to move, or at least get to a point in the arena where you can observe. After that, you could move from wedge to wedge to avoid what lurks in the jungle.

“What should we do, then?” Peeta asks.

“We need to move, get out of the way.” You say, looking at Katniss. “The Cornucopia?”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Johanna agrees.

Katniss nods. 

You break apart, going to collect your belongings out of the sand, securing them to your body to carry them with you. Finnick and Peeta work together to get Beetee back into his jumpsuit, now clean of blood. 

Katniss goes to wake Wiress, who’s been murmuring in her sleep this entire time. She jolts awake, grabbing onto Katniss’s arms tightly. “Tick, tock!”

“Yes, tick, tock, the arena’s a clock. It’s a clock, Wiress, you were right.” She tells her. “You were right.”

Wiress relaxes considerably, nodding a little. “Midnight.”

“It starts at midnight.” Katniss confirms.

Wiress nods at one of the wedges. “One-thirty.”

“Exactly. One-thirty. And at two, a terrible poisonous fog begins there.” Katniss says, pointing at a different area of the jungle. “So we have to move somewhere safe now.” Wiress smiles and stands. “Are you thirsty?”

As soon as the woven bowl is handed over to her, Wiress gulps it down. Finnick gives her some of the bread from a sponsorship you missed, she slowly chews on it. From what you can see, it’s the salty seaweed bread from District Four. Yuck.

You hand Katniss her weapons, watching her secure the spile and the tube of medicine to a square cloth of a parachute before using a vine to tie it to her belt. 

Beetee’s not entirely conscious, so Peeta goes to lift him out of the sand, causing him to stir and become deadweight. “Wire.”

“She’s right here.” Peeta says. “Wiress is fine. She’s coming, too.”

Beetee tries to push Peeta off of him. “Wire.”

“Oh, I know what he wants.” Johanna rolls her eyes, crossing the beach to pick up a cylinder. It’s still covered in a thick layer of blood, making it impossible for you to see what it is. “This worthless thing. It’s some kind of wire or something. THa’ts how he got cut. Running up to the Cornucopia to get this. I don’t know what kind of weapon it’s supposed to be. I guess you could pull off a piece and use it as a garrote or something. But really, can you imagine Beetee garroting somebody?”

You snort, she tilts her head.

“He won his Games with wire. Setting up that electrical trap.” Peeta tells her. “It’s the best weapon he could have.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Katniss chimes in. “Seems like you’d have figured that out.” She says slowly. “SInce you nicknamed him Volts and all.”

Johanna’s eyes narrow in her direction. “Yeah, that was really stupid of me, wasn’t it?” She asks. “I guess I must have been distracted by keeping your little friends alive. While you were… what, again? Getting Mags killed off?”

The air becomes hard to breathe, you steal a glance at Finnick out of the corner of your eye and find his eyebrows drawn in, thinking. You can’t believe Johanna just threw that out in the open. 

Katniss’s hand grips the knife on her belt.

“Go ahead. Try it. I don’t care if you are knocked up, I’ll rip your throat out.” Johanna tilts her head.

“Maybe we all had better be careful where we step.” Finnick says, trying to calm the situation. He gives Katniss a look, taking the coil from Johanna to set it on Beetee’s chest. “There’s your wire, Volts. Watch where you plug it.”

This allows Peeta to pick up Beetee without an issue. “Where to?”

“To the Cornucopia, like (Y/n) said.” Finnick says. “I’d like to watch. Just to make sure we’re right about the clock.”

One at a time, you approach the nearest sand strip, heading to the center island. You take up the very back with Johanna, who has her arms crossed, seething. Or maybe not, you can’t see her face at the moment. Every time Katniss tries to call her out for her behavior, you know they get closer to considering killing each other. 

The Cornucopia is barren of any Careers, allowing you to spread out and pick where you’d like to be in the mouth. The weapons that remain have been thoroughly picked-over, the only thing you could possibly grab now are knives. You don’t really have any specialty weapons. You had to teach yourself how to fight with a sword.

Peeta lays Beetee in the small bit of shae that does exist. As soon as Beetee’s comfortable, he calls over Wiress. She crouches beside him, and he hands over the coil of wire. “Clean it, will you?”

Wiress nods, and hurries over to the edge of the island. She dunks the coil in the water, quietly singing a song to herself about a mouse running up a clock.

“Oh, not the song again.” Johanna groans, throwing her head back. “That went on for hours before she started tick-tocking.”

She suddenly stops, standing up straight, coil of water in her hand, dripping watery blood onto the black rock. She points to the jungle. “Two.”

You look to where she’s pointing, and find a wall of fog seeping out onto the beach. 

“Yes, look, Wiress is right. It’s two o’clock and the fog has started.”

“Like clockwork.” Peeta says. “You were very smart to figure that out, Wiress.”

All she does is smile, and then she goes right back to singing and cleaning. “Oh, she’s more than smart.” Beetee says, coming back to life. “She’s intuitive. She can sense things before anyone else. Like a canary in one of your coal mines.”

“What’s that?” Finnick asks.

“It’s a bird that we take down into the mines to warn us if there’s bad air.” Katniss explains.

“What’s it do, die?” Johanna asks morbidly.

“It stops signing first. That’s when you should get out. But if the air’s too bad, it dies, yes. And so do you.”

This is clearly a topic of conversation that Katniss doesn’t want to participate in, so it drops. Johanna turns to head inside of the Cornucopia, flicking her short hair over her shoulder. Katniss and Finnick follow soon after, going to stock up their weapons.

Johanna comes out with a pair of axes, looking over the blades with a fairly impressed look. She then swings the axe forward, at the golden walls of the Cornucopia. Since it’s been softened by the sun, the blade sticks. Johanna grabs it with one hand and yanks it out.

You watch as Peeta draws a circle with his machete on a large leaf he took from the jungle. He seems to draw a map of the arena, with the jungle and beach having its own sections. And then he divides the circle into wedges. “Look at how the Cornucopia’s positioned.”

Katniss comes over to look, “The tail points toward twelve o’clock.”

“Right, so this is the top of our clock.” He says, going on to write the numbers one through twelve around his circle. “Twelve to one is the lightning zone.” He writes lightning in small print in the wedge, working clockwise to add blood, fog, and monkeys to the next three sections.

“And ten to twelve is the wave.” Katniss says, he writes it in. 

Finnick and Johanna come to see what they’re doing now. Tridents, axes and knives hanging off their bodies. Johanna pulls one of her knives from her belt, twisting it in her hand, holding the handle out to you.

You take it from her, holding it in your hands while you watch Peeta.

“Did you notice anything unusual in the others?” Katniss asks JOhanna and Beetee, but they haven’t experienced anything other than the blood. “I guess they could hold anything.”

“I’m going to mark the ones where we know the Gamemakers’ weapon follows us out past the jungle, so we’ll stay clear of those.” Peeta murmurs, drawing diagonal lines on the fog and wave beaches. He then sits back. “Well, it’s a lot more than we knew this morning, anyway.”

You look over the clock in silence.

Silence.

Your eyes dart up, and you find that Katniss is one step ahead of you, an arrow armed on her bow, pointed at a soaking wet Gloss. Wiress is sliding toward the ground, her throat slit open, it’ll be impossible to save her. The arrow slams into his temple, killing him instantly. Johanna is already on her feet, swinging her axe into Cashmere’s chest. 

The sound of sand crunching beneath boots causes your head to whip in the direction, finding Brutus and Enobaria running up the other side. A spear drawn back in Brutus’s hand, aimed in your direction. 

And furthermore, Finnick’s.

“Get out of the fucking way!” You scream, shoving Finnick down.

The both of you hit the sand, the spear whizzing right over your heads, where you had been standing seconds prior. It slams into the golden Cornucopia, the entire head buried in the structure. Brutus had thrown it with enough force to kill you both in an instant.

Two arrows are sent back by Katniss in retaliation, but neither of them must land, because she jerks forward to chase after them. Three cannons blast in quick succession, confirming three dead; Wiress, Gloss and Cashmere. 

Katniss disappears around the mouth, with Johanna and Peeta right behind her. You and Finnick are just picking yourselves out of the sand when the ground jerks beneath you. Your shoulder slams into the sand, and then you begin to quickly roll, as the rock island that the Cornucopia sits on begins to spin, fast.

You desperately reach out, trying to find a ridge to dig your fingers into, but you only come up with handfuls of sand. The jungle has turned into a blur of green and beige as you pick up speed, water turning to mist in the air.

You’re almost at the edge of the rock when a hand clamps around your ankle, stopping you from falling off. You’re left to face the water, dizziness beginning to overcome you, until you slam to a sudden stop.

The urge to vomit rises up your stomach quickly. You yank your ankle free from whoever it is that has a hold of you, quickly crawling to the edge to puke up water and bile into the water. You try to close your eyes to make yourself feel better, but all it does is speed up the rate that you’re spinning.

The throbbing in your head returns in full swing.

When you finally finish gagging over the rock, you pick yourself up from the sand, wiping it from your skin. The others have gathered together at the mouth of the Cornucopia, just as disheveled as you are. 

“Where’s Volts?” Johanna asks.

You sit down while they circle the Cornucopia to confirm he’s off of the island. Finnick apparently spots him about twenty feet out in the water, and dives in to retrieve him. Katniss, on the other hand, finds Wiress in the water, the coil still clutched tightly in her hands.

“Cover me.” She tells Johanna, racing down the strip closest to her body before diving in. She swims hard, battling the hovercraft on who will get to Wiress’s body first. She reaches her first, working to loosen Wiress’s fingers, and then comes back to the center island.

By the time she makes it, Wiress is gone, as well as the two other bodies that were floating in the water. Finnick lays Beetee down in the sand, letting him get a hold of himself again. Katniss places the wire in his lap, now clean of blood, sparkling in the sunlight.

Beetee unravels a small bit of the wire, running his fingers over it. It’s a pale golden color, and it’s incredibly thin. You know Johanna was joking about him using it to garrotte people but it would be completely impossible to. As soon as you’d tighten it, it would snap. 

For a while, you sit in silence together, catching your breath, wringing the water out of your clothes or shaking sand out of your clothes. When it appears as though you’re ready to move on, Johanna stands. “Let’s get off this stinking island.”

You’re forced to recollect your weapons, since they had been strewn across the island due to the spinning. Your sword and the knife Johanna handed you are relatively easy to find. While the others have to take a moment to dig.

Beetee tells Peeta that he thinks he can walk now, as long as he’s patient and willing to go slow. It’s better than carrying him again, so Peeta helps bring him to his feet. It’s then decided you all should go to the beach at twelve o’clock, because it should give you several hours before you have to face the jungle again.

Peeta, Johanna and Finnick head off in three different directions.

“Twelve o’clock, right?” Peeta asks. “The tail point at twelve.”

“Before they spun us.” Finnick reasons. “I was judging by the sun.”

“The sun only tells you it’s going on four, Finnick.”

“I think Katniss’s point is, knowing the time doesn’t mean you necessarily know where four is on the clock. You might have a general idea of the direction. Unless you consider that they may have shifted the outer ring of the jungle as well.” Beetee says.

You squint, face twisted. You would hope the Gamemakers didn’t shift the jungle too, that would give the entire secret of the clock away, wouldn’t it? But then again, you guess it doesn’t matter. 

“Yes, so any one of these paths could lead to twelve o’clock.” Katniss says, offering you a shrug when you look at her.

You circle around the Cornucopia as a group, picking out every detail of the jungle, only to discover that each wedge has been almost perfectly replicated. Katniss says something about how there was a tall tree in the lightning section that stood out, but now she can’t find it.

Johanna suggests following Enobaria and Brutus’s footsteps, but the sand has been blown away completely from the wind. Katniss lets out a heavy sigh, “I should have never mentioned the clock. Now they’ve taken that advantage away as well.”

“Only temporarily.” Beetee says. “At ten, we’ll see the wave again and be back on track.”

“Yes, they can’t redesign the whole arena.” Peeta says, trying to make her feel better.

“It doesn’t matter.” Johanna’s tone impatient. “You had to tell us or we never would have moved our camp in the first place, brainless.” She pops a hip out, crossing her arms. “Come on, I need water. Anyone have a good gut feeling?”

A path is chosen at random. At the beach, they peer into the jungle, trying to judge what could be inside.

“Well, it must be monkey hour. And I don’t see any of them in there.” Peeta shrugs. “I’m going to try to tap a tree.”

“No, it’s my turn.” Finnick objects.

“I’ll at least watch your back.” Peeta offers.

“(Y/n) can do that.” Johanna waves her hand. “We need you to make another map. The other washed away.” She yanks one of the leaves off of a tree to hand it to him.

“Wait, I didn’t agree to this.” You make a face, shaking your head.

“Then Katniss can go with you to keep the peace.” Johanna motions, Katniss nods.

You smile at her, but send a glare in Johanna’s direction, irritated that she’s already working to pair you and Finnick together. You’re tired of his presence and being forced to talk to him. You liked it yesterday when he was stubborn and refused to talk to you the entire day unless he had to.

Either way, you have no choice now. Finnick leads the way into the jungle. About fifteen yards in, he stops in front of a tree that looks like it’ll give you a good stream of water. He then holds his hand out, “Knife.”

“You have your own.” You tell him.

“Johanna gave you the best one.” He says, fingers beckoning for the knife. “It’s thinner.”

“You’ll make it dull.”

“Don’t be a pain.”

“Use your own knife.”

“No, I’m not ruining my own knives.”

“So you’ll ruin mine instead? Don’t you have like ten of them?” You motion at his belt. “Choose one of them.”

“I don’t want any of those.”

“You do realize that the knife is the only weapon I have beside my sword, right? You’re carrying like three different tridents, why don’t you use one of those?”

Finnick’s face twists at you. “Don’t tell me you’re actually that dense.”

“No, but you are.” You tilt your head at him.

Katniss shakes her head. “I know why Johanna sent me in here now.”

You look over your shoulder. “You can go, Katniss. We won’t kill each other.”

She purses her lips, thinking. “I’ve got to pee, so I’ll do that and come back.”

“Sounds like a deal.” Finnick tells her.

Katniss wanders off with her bow, heading deeper into the jungle, completely out of your sight. You look back at Finnick, who still has his hand out, waiting for your knife. You grab it begrudgingly, placing it in his hand. 

He starts to drill into the tree with the tip of your knife, ruining it immediately. You’ll get him back for this later. You’re not sure how, because trying to use his trident would make you look stupid. Maybe you’ll steal a knife off of him when he’s sleeping, since he seems to place a lot of trust in the others to watch over him.

The silence between you and Finnick is fine for the first few minutes, but you really don’t like standing over him like this without saying anything. You clear your throat, turning your body away so you don’t have to look at him.

“I’m sorry about Mags.” You tell him. “I didn’t know her well, but she was always kind to me when I was with her. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling.”

“I’m fine.” Finnick tells you. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not.” You shake your head. “I should’ve taken Mags during the fog, I could’ve carried her.”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference.” He mutters. “Either she died during the fog, or the monkeys, or even the Cornucopia. At least she didn’t suffer.”

You hum. “I guess that’s true.”

There’s a few beats of silence, and then he sighs. “You’ve saved my life twice now.”

You make a noise, not really interested in this topic. All he’s going to do is start keeping score. You’ll even bet he’s going to tell you he doesn’t want to be in your debt.

“Hardly.” You tell him.

“You saved me from the monkey in the jungle, and if you hadn’t moved me out of the way, I could’ve died because of the spear.”

“We could’ve died.” You correct him. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is.” Finnick says, he stops drilling into the tree to look at you. “I was wrong when I said that you’d get in the way.”

You shrug, not really feeling the need to thank him. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” He tells you. “Really.”

“Forget about it.” 

[anim-ttrpgs]

Go read check out Unchained Mysteries by Jesse Burneko

I recently was altered to and read a treatise called Unchained Mysteries, and it’s incredible that I had never heard of it before. It’s not a TTRPG, but it is a treatise about TTRPGs, particularly mystery investigation TTRPGs, and how bad they have been for the past 50 years at actually doing investigation gameplay.

For the roughly two years since we went public with Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, we have been fighting a war, an idealogical war on TTRPGs as an artform declared by monopolistic corporations, parasocial “”actual play”” shows, content mill YouTube channels and the loyal adherents of the above. The generals of this vast army, whether they consciously realize it or not, have a financial incentive to teach you that game design is not real and that it doesn’t matter. A consumerbase that understands game design or what a TTRPG is on even the narrowest, shallowest level is one where some people might sometimes choose to play something besides the most popular and heavily advertised game on the market when they are able to recognize that it does not suit their needs.

To this end they teach you “just ignore the rules when they get in the way of the story,” and “a good GM can make anything work.” They task the GM with putting on a one-man show so that people who do not like the kinds of experiences created by the rules of the most popular game do not ever have to engage with the experiences of playing the most popular game, but still buy all the most popular game’s products, and most importantly never buy anything else.

It’s been an uphill battle, but we have been able to carve out a little outpost for ourselves, convert others to the Game Design in Real faction, and occasionally make contact with like-minded individuals who fight for TTRPGs to be treated as a unique and meaningful artform and game, not just an annoying book that gets in the way of your improv session, as most self-identified fans of TTRPGs have been taught to treat them.

Unchained Mysteries is one of those times we discover a powerful ally, and it has been some real wind in my sails, lemme tell you.

As a TTRPG game designer, it really wears on the mind to get the same comments over and over and over from people who don’t even know enough about gleeblor to understand the position they’re taking, that all boil down to the same thing: Telling me that my work, and the work of others trying to design TTRPGs, is, at best, completely meaningless, because the rules we write shouldn’t be assumed to affect anything, that the right way to play TTRPGs is to just ignore the rules and make it up as you go. At worst, they get offended, and demand to know “why I’m trying to tell them how they should play the game” in the instruction manual for the game. And come at me with shonen hero monologues about how as an artist I have no right to even want people to engage with my art the way that I intentionally designed it to be engaged with, let alone have the audacity to express that desire. People’s right to not think about anything and put in the least possible effort for the quickest, shortest gratification is sacred, especially because game design isn’t real, so there’s no way that following the intent behind the design could lead to a more meaningful experience than just running off vibes.

And all this with the financial stress of being unable to keep a “normal” job due to disability, making my art my main source of income on top of the constant reaffirmation that large amounts of potential customers have been taught that the kind of art I’m best at and most passionate about, art that is really really trying to provide a particular experience through its design and intent, is the most undesirable kind of art, if they even know that kind art exists within the medium of TTRPGs at all.

Sorry about all that.

Anyway, it would have been cool to find such a well-written piece of writing that agrees with Eureka’s stance on investigative TTRPG gameplay on one point.

It would’ve been really cool to find such a well-written piece of writing that agrees on two points.

The points made, the problems highlighted, and the solutions proposed within Unchained Mysteries are about a 90% overlap with Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy’s, and presents them even more convincingly. (Which is to be expected, since it exists only to make these points rather than also being a whole game.)

If you’re interested in the arguments Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy makes and demonstrates about game design, give Unchained Mysteries a read.

[novlr]

Is there a process for writing a novel, or does everyone just figure out what works for them? I feel like I’m making it up as I go and wondering if that’s normal.

This is a question that writers, especially new writers, ask across the board. Is there a process, a right way of creating the story, and am I doing it the best way possible?

If you’re interested in efficiency, you might hate the idea of moving full steam ahead on a project without knowing whether you’re using the best process for writing. So many writers provide “helpful” tips like “write every day.” When you think about it, that’s rather a worthless bit of advice, isn’t it? So what if I write every day? Am I writing in the right order? Will it all flow together in the end? What if I write every day, but none of it makes sense?

Well……

I’ve read a lot of books about writing and tried a lot of different processes. I’ve come to the conclusion, based on both research and practice, that there is no specific process for writing a novel. The number of workable processes is as abundant as the number of novels that exist. 

But this is no reason to get discouraged!

We can still glean some wisdom from other writers who have finished novels and use their knowledge to help us finish our own. I love reviewing the details, however great or small, that other writers give to offer glimpses into their personal writing processes. These are some of the quotes that have helped me create my own personal process. I tend to operate in a more intuitive style than a direct, organised approach, feeling personally that a story must unfold naturally in order to flow in a way that makes sense to me. And I personally love the sandbox imagery! It makes the idea of a process seem more playful and far less serious and rigid.

What we can learn from other writers

The beauty of writing is that every author’s journey is unique, yet we can all learn from each other’s experiences. Some of the most insightful wisdom about the writing process comes from those who have walked this path before us. These writers don’t just tell us what to do, they share their personal relationships with the process, their struggles, and their moments of revelation.

What’s particularly striking about these perspectives is how they embrace the messiness and uncertainty of the creative process. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, they offer metaphors and frameworks that can help us understand our own approach to writing. Here are some particularly illuminating quotes that capture different ways of thinking about the writing process:

“I’m writing a first draft and reminding myself that I’m simply shoveling sand into a box so that later I can build castles.” —Shannon Hale

“I long ago abandoned myself to a blind lust for the written word. Literature is my sandbox. In it I play, build my forts and castles, spend glorious time.” —Rabih Alameddine

“I write just about everything piecemeal…It’s effective because it works; I’m never held up stewing about What Comes Next— I don’t care what comes next, I just care about something I can see happening. The order of the happening has a logic to it (often, more than one), and that will become clear to me as I work.” —Diana Gabaldon

“I think there are two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners. The architects plan everything ahead of time, like an architect building a house. They know how many rooms are going to be in the house, what kind of roof they’re going to have, where the wires are going to run, what kind of plumbing there’s going to be. They have the whole thing designed and blueprinted out before they even nail the first board up. The gardeners dig a hole, drop in a seed and water it. They kind of know what seed it is, they know if planted a fantasy seed or mystery seed or whatever. But as the plant comes up and they water it, they don’t know how many branches it’s going to have, they find out as it grows. And I’m much more a gardener than an architect.” —George R. R. Martin

Common writing processes

While there’s no “right” way to write a novel, there are several common approaches that writers tend to gravitate toward. Understanding these can help you find or develop a process that works for you:

The Plotter

Creates detailed plot outlines before writing.

Develops character profiles and backstories.

Maps out story beats and major plot points.

Researches extensively before drafting.

Works from a structured chapter plan.

The Pantser

Starts with a basic premise or character.

Lets the story unfold organically.

Discovers the plot through writing.

Makes notes about story elements as they emerge.

Revises extensively after the first draft.

The Plantser

Combines planning and discovery writing.

Creates loose outlines that allow for flexibility.

Plans major plot points but discovers the connections as they write.

Develops some characters fully while letting others evolve organically.

Adjusts the outline as the story develops.

Finding your process

The key to developing your own writing process is experimentation. Try different approaches and take note of what works best for you:

Start small

Test different methods on short stories.

Try writing scenes both with and without outlines.

Experiment with different planning tools and software.

Practice different prewriting techniques.

Observe your natural tendencies

Notice when you feel most productive.

Pay attention to what blocks your progress.

Identify your preferred writing environment.

Recognise your natural storytelling style.

Adapt and combine methods

Take elements from different approaches.

Modify existing processes to suit your needs.

Be flexible and willing to change methods.

Create hybrid systems that work for you.

Remember, your writing process can and should evolve as you grow as a writer. What works for one project might not work for another, and that’s perfectly fine. The goal is to find methods that help you tell your stories effectively and enjoyably.

[ddarker-dreams]

play wrestling — blade.

Embarrassment doesn’t find you easily.

To experience embarrassment implies a degree of self-awareness. While you possess some, it’s decreased significantly compared to your earlier years. Such is the natural progression of life. This is why you felt free to act on a little impulse, initially uncaring of how it’d reflect on you.

However, faced with two eyes as crimson as freshly spilled blood, you can’t help but do some reassessing.

“… What are you doing?” Blade asks, dryly. You feel the low rumble of his baritone voice against your palms, which you’ve splayed against his chest. His neutral countenance doesn’t give much away. According to your peer-reviewed scientific analysis, he alternates between three expressions — apathy, irritation, and wrath. There is an additional secret one for when it’s just the two of you and he doesn’t think you’re looking.

From what you can tell, you’ve landed yourself on the apathetic side of the spectrum. You can work with that. You’ll commit to the bit.

“Besting an intergalactic criminal in combat, obviously,” you scoff, faking a bravado you don’t have.

“Hm.”

“…”

“…”

Is he not going to do anything to free himself from this position?!

Blade had silently slid himself next to where you sat on the floor, playing with your phone. This unique opportunity activated a primal part of your brain that probably should’ve stayed in the vault. You wrangled him down. Now, he’s lying flat on his back, with you sitting victorious atop his lower abdomen. Long strands of his black hair fall along his side, painting a pretty picture. You suppress the urge to run your hands through his silky locks. That can come later, you have an objective to achieve.

“Are you finished?”

“Wh— well, no,” you frown. And here you thought he might indulge you. “You have to, y’know, fight back…?”

He raises an eyebrow and you want to groan.

“But I’d win.”

The declaration is made like it’s a foregone conclusion. Which, if you’re being honest, isn’t wrong. Still, he should give you some credit. You can hold your own in a fight! Maybe you’re not waving-around-a-three-thousand-pound-ancient-sword good, but you’re decent enough. He’s no fun. Kafka would’ve played around with you.

“How can you be so sure— eek!”

He grabs you by the shoulders and flips you around, reversing your position. Despite the immense speed he used, your head doesn’t hit the ground hard like it should’ve. He cushioned the impact by essentially cradling the back of your head with his hand. This is why you never believe him when he denies being a ‘secret softie.’ You know the truth.

“This is how,” he says.

You pout. “Did I at least put up a good fight?”

His silence speaks volumes.

After getting his fill of how nice you look beneath him, he climbs off you. The second you’re no longer restrained, you begin your counterattack. You lunge at him, intending to pin him down, only to feel the cool leather of his gloves against your wrists. You struggle valiantly to regain your freedom. All this does is amuse him further.

“We’re pretty evenly matched, right?” You ask, beginning to grow breathless from the energy you’re exerting.

The corners of his lips twitch upward.

“Mhm. Right.”