#I don’t think she’d use he
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I like how I gave Frida two flags when she only needed one, meanwhile David has to squish both flags together. To be fair, it’s just like Frida to be incredibly organised and bring multiple back up flags, and for David to panic and not do that.
#which direction is his transgenderism? don’t ask me complicated questions#look all I know is that little guy ain’t cis#we as a fandom do make him mtf a lot which is AWESOME#but it’s also really sweet to imagine him as ftm#especially since he grew up with Frida#I imagine she helped him a lot when transitioning when they were little kids#frida is totally the kind of little kid to angrily correct adults misgendering people#David is probably too shy to correct people but frida is not#Hilda probably doesn’t know what being trans is until she moves to Trolberg and she thinks it’s so cool when she finds out#also nb Hilda! I think she uses she/they#she’s just like yeah I’m sort of a girl and I’m proud of that but I’m also definitely nothing close to a girl#like she doesn’t have a preference for either#I could see her using any pronouns other than he#I don’t think she’d use he#idk why#anyways those r just my headcanons happy pride!#hilda#hilda the series#netflix hilda#hilda netflix#art#my art#digital art#fanart#drawing#Hilda (Hilda)#David hilda#Hilda david#frida hilda#Hilda frida
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I like seeing my favs happy as much as the next guy but like sometimes it’s not about a happy ending for me it’s about the most interesting conflict and Lucanis sticking with the job and all the drama that comes with it is ten times more interesting in that regard if I want a runaway crow I simply already have Zevran
#lucanis dellamorte#I also just do not see Mr. Lucanis ‘I’m not losing anyone else’ Dellamorte as being ready to just up and leave any time soon#his relationship with his family and his job is complicated and I need the nuance I need the paralyzing ‘don’t wanna go don’t wanna stay’#of it all to live#A happy ending is an ending I need to keep putting him in situations#I just don’t wanna take the easy route of Rook being like ‘let’s go!’ and because he loves her he’ll just abandon his own feelings on the#matter and be like ‘okay sounds good I just got my family back and running away means if I see them again they’ll probably be trying to kill#us both for leaving an organization we’re technically not supposed to be able to leave :)’#on top of not putting him in that position I don’t think she’d do it to Viago either#at the end of the day between the people they care about and that all they know are the crows I think they’d both choose the devil they know#taliesin de riva#I should really come up with a ship tag to stick these posts in rip#dav thots#💕; you me and spite makes three#the fabled ship tag
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I am once again going down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out the ages of the Gallifrey characters
#idk why my brain gets so caught up on this but it does#I’m also talking like start of gallifrey because I’m not getting into all that for them now#what bothers me the most is that we’ve got basically nothing on Narvin#I can’t remember for sure but I don’t even think we know what regeneration he’s on#I don’t think it would be hard to assume his first but also it could not be#like for brax we know he’s older than the doctor so that puts him at at least 1000#and romana is around 600 years younger than the doctor so she’d be around 400#and then I’m going with 50 ish for leela because we don’t know her actual age so I’m using Louise jamesons age plus the time she spent#married to andred#also with romana that’s assuming that her and the doctor experienced the same amount of time in between them traveling together and the#start of gallifrey#I guess that could also count for brax too but whatever#for narvin what we’ve got is that he was above the rank of a junior agent under vansell during the time of the fourth doctor#(at least probably)#so we can make the assumption that he wasn’t fresh out of the academy/cia training#which makes me inclined to say that he’s older than romana#but that’s really all I’ve got on him#doctor who#gallifrey#romana#irving braxiatel#narvin#leela#clearly this is a subject I am normal about#if anyone else makes it this far in my rant and has any insights I’d love to hear them
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“Armand should get to just kill Marius” tbh if Armand ever killed Marius he would pull a Sada Abe. Who said that
#no but I really do mean this literally bc#her reason for killing her client/lover wasn’t even revenge. at least not really#it was bc her entire life she’d been used and discarded and treated like trash#and she thought the only way she could stop him from abandoning her was to kill him and take a part of him with her#which is. actually very armand.#plus#I mean as someone who’s had the ‘hey wait a minute…. I should totally kill that guy’ thoughts about an abuser#even that for me wasn’t truly about revenge I don’t think#I mean I was angry. am angry#but it was almost like. it felt like the only way I could continue to live was if he didn’t exist#it’s a very dark strange headspace to be in and idk if it can ever really Just be about revenge#bc the relationship w the abuser is always way too complicated for wanting them dead to contain only one dimension#armand#iwtv tv#marius
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I know it’s been talked about ad nauseam, but I think one of the things that got lost in the discourse about TTPD and the muses and whatnot is how one of, if not the core trigger points of the album is the yearning for commitment and perhaps even more poignantly, motherhood.
The reason she was so susceptible to falling for the “conman’s get love quick schemes” is because she was grieving that imagined life with the person she had long assumed would be the one to give her that. What has been beyond clear in several albums, let alone interviews etc, is that those plans for building a family were very much real and top of mind for years, and she kept holding on and shifting her world in service of making that happen. And when whatever happened happened that pulled that rug out from under her, it left her bereft not just for the relationship that had once been her world but also the imagined family she had been hoping for and sticking out the hard times for.
And that’s likely why she was swayed by and trusting of the promises of someone who knew her history and knew how unmooring that loss was to her. It may have been partially about the person himself or lust or whatever, but the core issue was the pain of giving up the dream, and sublimating that dream into this new opportunity in front of her, because she was so desperate to hold onto the last scraps of that imagined life she wanted so badly. (And I don’t mean desperate as in pathetic or negative, I mean as in fighting within the last ounce of energy and hope she had.) It wasn’t rational and it wasn’t love, it was grief, not just for a relationship but even more so for the family it represented.
So to me the core issue of TTPD isn’t just the Joe vs. Matty or whoever of it all: it’s Taylor and her yearning. She wanted a family badly and a life that was theirs and was processing losing that in all kinds of ways. It’s all over the album in overt and subtle lyrics. It may not have been grieving a literal death but I’d bet it felt pretty darn close.
And I’d also bet that’s why we’re seeing… what we’re seeing now.
(I have so many more thoughts about womanhood and motherhood on TTPD but that is another post being worked on piecemeal in my drafts… this is just a little Saturday morning post-zoomies reflection)
#I’m trying to be delicate about all this on main#if you catch my drift#obviously I don’t know any of these people#I’m just using my ears with the music and my eyeballs on the screen#honestly think she’d almost gotten to the point where she would have given up almost anything#(including marriage)#if it meant having kids and a commitment#let alone all the career stuff she was willing to let slide#but in the end none of that mattered#writing letters addressed to the fire#the tortured poets department#and like..#this is also why she was so clear minded about what she wanted in a partner when she started dating killa#and not as in opportunist but as in she knew what she wouldn’t compromise on anymore#and luckily for her he was on the same page#and tbh why this isn’t all that fast#ugh I wish my brain would let me finish the other post I was working on#like I know we’ve kind of been dancing around this in recent years in discussion#even if we all had our own assumptions#but she kind of ripped the bandaid off in ttpd#and with ~everything~ now happening#I think it’s ok to talk about? respectfully? lol
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Currently having a breakdancing session with myself<333
#im Turing 21 tomorrow#im gonna cry#I don’t want to spend time with my family#i don’t understand#they don’t even like me xjsjhjdhs#its sad that the moment I move away I’ll be low contact with all of them://#my life is going no where#I want to leave#but I’m disabled and not mentally stable enough dndjhdjxks#but they just think I’m lazy#like bro I have doctors appointments smsmjsks#I faint when I’m out in public#i hate my birthday#so much#im not in the closet but at this point I wish I was sjjsjdks#the only reason I’m still home and not kicked out is because my dad cared well he tires#my mother would have kicked me out#girlie gonna kicked me out for shaving my head#and getting a binder#both my parents are transphobic but they’re both different kinds of transphobe#dad is ignorant transphobia#mother fucking dislikes us teehee#she’d rather kick me out#can’t believe I let this women beat the shit out of me everyday for 13 years#whelp#im not ready to be 21#I wasn’t ready to be 20#I wasn’t ready to be 18#I suck at everything wtf dnmdnddm#man idk why I’m still kicking tbh
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literally if it were to become an issue among exorcists that natsume has a super forbidden powerful book of contracts with youkai matoba doesn’t even have room to talk he and his clan members are over there creating creatures left and right (also forbidden!!). who are the exorcists with enough power to do anything that aren’t already involved in forbidden magic? who knows.
#unsure of the stance shinobu would take she does the same thing but she’d care less. i’d assume. idk.#i also don’t think matoba. seiji. would care that much but maybe he’d use it as blackmail idk. i like to think he’s past the blackmail at#this point though lol
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i think shtola should have someone of her choosing to confide in about cori. but also i think she would not choose to tell anyone about that 🤔
#hien doesn’t count bc she didn’t choose that he made her ahdjkd#y’mhitra is out bc of that sb side story where she tells shtola to find love and maybe she’ll settle down#bc i don’t think she’d want to tell her after that and also i don’t think cori is a reasonable settle down solution ahdjdk#i do think it’d be funny if in shb thancred was like you want /me/ to talk about /my/ feelings but what about YOURS#but idk. idk. maybe urianger which could make shb era friendship. so interesting. hmmm#i need a text post tag#btw i remade that gpose and then i ended up deciding to crop out the part i didnt like of the originals and use that#which also made me cut out shtola’s face 😔 but it works i think#anyway. sorry for gpose prog on here all the time#i want to finish these tomorrow but i also want to WRITE and READ and i have to watch a movie#i need a 3 day weekend 😭😭😭
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kick drum beating in my chest again
(a fun Rayvio comic that got totally out of hand <33 now it’s my magnum opus for my favorite rare pair.)
#hello rayvio nation i now think there are enough of us to fill a church van#(Dora the Explorer voice) what song are they listening to? …. I think so too!#they are 18 and 19 in this comic btw. they are also idiots.#this was like a rehab project for me and it ended up being a lot of fun and I’m happy with how it turned out#very little consistency with coloring bc i forgot what brushes i used!! don’t worry about it!!!!#the promised neverland#Ray tpn#Violet tpn#Rayvio#vioray#Nikki draws#at this point let’s be real Ray knows he’s in deep shit bc he’s got a huge crush on his pal Violet#and he really likes being Violet’s friend and hilarious piece of collaborative performance art aside ! he thinks she’d never be into him#Violet meanwhile is like after THIS one additional time i will be normal and the urge to make him blush will finally be out of my system#after the events of this comic Ray walked home in a daze and lies awake that night like What If. but he would never make the first move!!#Welcome to my Rayvio manifesto.
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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The Crane Wives wrote all these songs about Annabel Blackthorn, they told me themselves
#the dark artifices#annabel blackthorn#music recs#character playlist#I saw someone the other day headcanon Annabel with a Taylor Swift song from TTPD#And I respect your opinion and everything#but noooo 😭#Annabel would skin Taylor Swift alive and leave her to die in a ditch#She would *hate* her on principal#This seemingly privileged superficial woman in a position of power who makes light of feelings Annabel had and situations she went through#“you wouldn’t survive an hour in the asylum they raised me”#no darling the blackthorns of cornwall would’ve swallowed you whole and sucked the marrow from your bones before using them as playing dice#Annabel also wouldn’t appreciate how emotionally flat and one note Taylor’s songs are and their lack of any really meaningful metaphors#Plus I just don’t think she’d be a fan of pop music in general#Malcolm definitely is though#That’s the real reason she stabbed him#He played on to many Lady Gaga CD’s over her rotting corpse#malcolm fade#malcabel#otp: the guardian and the queen of air and darkness#rottencult#violetthornsshipping#malcolm fade x annabel blackthorn#Spotify
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If there’s a scene of Ellie just making conversation with Joel while he’s out, like telling him old stories of her time in FEDRA school, reminiscing of their times together throughout their journey, or what she thinks the old world was like…I will shoot myself in both feet. And if she holds his hand while doing so? Yeah, two more in the chest. You won’t hear from me again.
#I feel like she’d do it to try and comfort herself since she’s alone#to try and act like he’s there. maybe think that he is really responding to her#OR HER REASSURING HIM. SAYING ‘YOURE GONNA MAKE IT’ LIKE SHE DOES IN GAME#OR YOULL BE OKAY OR SOME ENDEARING EMOTIONAL SOMETHING#or god forbid there’s a scene of her like combing his hair#which I don’t think would happen but if it does.#suffocating would hurt less.#the last of us hbo#joel miller#ellie williams#joel and ellie
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I have said this before but me being self proclaimed number 1 Ryoma fan and that being possibly literal-bc even if this bro had fans before me I might’ve simply done the most for him by talking about him so much + being the first to write fics that are in depth studies on his trauma across canons-I gotta say if there’s one other character I rotate a lot that isn’t him it’s probably Kei. (Shocking it’s not Hayato even if I do think about him too- but it’s usually associated with Ryoma bc gays 🗿)
I’m not even exaggerating when I say Kei would be my favorite and only isn’t because she doesn’t exist in many other canons yet my brain rotates the endless possibilities of how to incorporate her. I’ve already written a fic where she’s in shin vs neo verse which worked surprisingly well but I’ve been thinking how universally she could appear in other things. (Whether it be fitting her into a idea of a possible Go team in New or just a new canon completely) I think what I’ve narrow it down to is that she could be like- in Michirus role? Like she’s the supporting female who isn’t a pilot but helps out the real occasionally which I think would align very well especially with the original manga role she has of being Hayato’s assistant. And even if Hayato isn’t grandpa mode yet he still very much is in Saotomes position at that point. Not sure if she’d Hayato’s biological kid to further parallel Saotome and Michiru given well Hayato already adopts the Go team and his wife is irrelevant LOL.
I have no idea if I’ll ever write this specific idea but I’m still- rotating it cause this is such a easy way to get around “picking between Sho or Kei as the 2nd pilot” since both of them can still exist even if one doesn’t get to pilot, idm my supporting females. (Granted there could always be like- plot line where Sho gets hurt so Kei is temporary pilot but I can’t remember if Getter ever really did this since “once your hurt your ass is basically replaced” lol)
#meg text#getter robo#au rambles#I think I rotate her so much because my friend and I talked about her relationship with Go#like it makes so much sense if among all the universal constants in getter one would be Kei is important to Go#granted the shift from “she’s my love interest” to “she’s my sister” will never not be so fucking drastic 💀#also I get why in SVN she wasn’t there for time and idk where you’d fit her but man Kei deserves a more significant role#hence why I imagine her in Michirus role because even if she also had it ROUGH some iterations knew how to use her#also Kei already has a established relationship w gai mainly thanks to arma so- Sho deserves to speak with her too#they can be besties who rat out on the boys but still have high respect for hayato#granted I know the real reason why this hasn’t happened is because Kei is a minor character and “no proper go manga adaptation??”#at this point I don’t expect a anime but it be nice if Go team got used in a spin off bc we had a good run of OG team#I’d also want them to use arc in spin offs too but I understand their more- finicky characters to use#given their main thing is their actual descendants of existing characters and one of them is our first boyo (ryoma)#if you took out the bloodline stuff it make them feel redundant because you can just use go team for that#also honestly despite how mixed arc anime is for everyone they really don’t need to be in anything after this#other then wishing they get something with nicer animation but that’s what’s SRW is for#(also back to Kei I’m a bit upset she did not get a cameo in arc even if she’d probably look horrendous it was just salt in the wound)#(GAI LITERALLY SAIDS WHEN HE DIES IN THE MANGA HE SEES KEI WHERE WAS SHE WITH ALL THE GETTER GHOSTS?)#actually Michiru wasn’t there too so it was probably just woman erasure /hj
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My brain is going through the ways that the GAang might apply Ugly (Turtle?)Duckling logic to Zuko to boost his confidence sometimes. And wondering how often they bring up the story, both when he’s doing well and when he’s NOT doing well. Because that was probably his fav story growing up, right? Always in someone’s shadow? And it’s about (turtle)ducks/swans?
#ugly duckling#zuko#Zuko likes Turtleducks#Azula might use it to tell him that he’s adopted though. But also… that doesn’t feel quite right for her.#I prefer it when she’s a bully but holding on tight to people.#So I don’t think she’d use a lie/tactic that might make Zuko think he didn’t “owe” her love because of blood.#(Please note: I know this is a toxic way to think about it. And that is why I DO think Azula might have that mentality.)
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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose
#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked#she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up#or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff#and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop#i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream#this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears#on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this#also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol#and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea#it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that#and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there#and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere#and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much#in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just#(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff#there was one man who was just fully blue#also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down#or something like that. i think that’s everything#i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that#i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me#personal
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for me… FOR ME..!!! and for shri’iia specifically the lock in for astarion’s romance is his graveyard scene in act 3.
i think it is too quick for shri’iia to be moving on to another relationship considering her previous one was with her mistress who essentially groomed and isolated her for like … more than hundred years. learning to chase her own desires and not moulding herself to what anyone wants her to be is something so new to her…!!! and something that she’s still learning how to be comfortable with….
and what I like abt romancing astarion with her is that I usually go for the dialogue path in his act 2 confession scene where you can ask him:
- what do YOU want to do?
and he goes like honestly idk what we’re doing but /this/ is nice. it just feels like two people exploring the option to love for the first time and taking things in their own pace rather than jumping straight into the relationship. they’re going at a snails pace… they don’t know what they’re doing but they like this feeling and the vibe and they want to more of it but they’re not ready to commit to anything yet and it’s fine for them …!! and they’re only committing by the end in the graveyard scene where significant time has passed and they’ve learnt a little more about themselves and they’re both more confident about their own desires and also how they want to be loved.
like it is so fitting I think… and sweet… not to mention astarion being a high elf & a vampire and shri’iia being a drow, they have all the time of the world for themselves so I def think they would want to take their time. except if shri’iia turns into a mindflayer or drider by the end then that plan is out the window lol
#now I’m thinking who else I can romance with her .. maybe lae’zel ??#since the thing with her is that she doesn’t get vulnerable in act 1 so the scenes where the romances#are kind of heart to hearts like shadowheart’s or karlach’s (😭😭😭) is out of the question since it doesn’t fit her …#like she’d rather sleep with someone first than actually get to know them 😭 hence astarion and lae’zel …#gale and wyll… I am hmmm about it on one hand her approval with wyll in act 1 is not even high enough 😭😭#and I don’t think she can be sweet enough to chase after him in the party .. she was kind of like ok fine whatever when he said he’s not in#the mood … gale I think can be a contender .. I actually don’t know how his route goes so I’m not sure abt that …#but the thing is … she gets vulnerable LATER ..!! and why astarion’s romance work for her is i hc after their act 2 scene#they’re just in a situationship rather than actual relationship … like they’re dating (yes!) but also dating (hmmmm)#and it’s only in his last scene where they both lock in bc I think that’s enough time for her to process her OWN trauma and also for her#own character development … like she has to learn how to trust (ack!!!!) which is the thing that you don’t do when you’re raised in lolth’s#cult …. and her mistress manipulated her trust too so it’s even more nerve wracking for her bc she doesn’t want someone to have that power#over her again .. but now she has to learn how to give it away freely … without being scared … bites my hand …!!!!#and astarion graveyard scene where he wants to live again vs shri’iia learning how to trust again and trying to live without the fear of#someone betraying you and using you and the paranoia that comes with it … urck urgh goughhhhhh critical hit …#also I have a hc that she actually is quite good at making poisons since her mother sold alchemy herbs and components#and she gives him poison as a courting gift lol .. also like a way to protect him 🤭 but she won’t admit that … she’s like if you want it#take it if you don’t idc 🤷♀️ (she does..) i hc that she gets flustered at sincerity actually#their relationship for me is like they’re both two little shits and a general menace to society (both charlatans)#but if they had to hold hands she’d get too flustered too and he’s like honestly what are you a child? (smug face making fun of her)#I have this little comic idea for them when they held hands for the first time and she’s like ouggghhh 😳😮💨 flustered and sweating and he’s#like hihi 🤭😎 but then their hands starts to get sweaty and then he’s like ew that’s disgusting and she’s like ok if u hate it let go then#and he’s like no YOU let go 🙄 but they don’t let go now they have to suffer through the sweaty hand holding alas such is fate …
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