#I don’t think I explained myself very well

[elliedarkleseed]

I’m not sure what the heck to think. I know that racism is a real thing, but I’m not sure how people that call themselves starseeds or consider themselves starseeds can be considered racist or spiritual eugenics. I need to do some more research. Reblogging to REMEMBER to check the hyperlinks and do some more research as well. Wouldn’t it be called mutual admiration and not religious appropriation?? Or carrying the same or similar beliefs even though you weren’t born into that religion or spirituality? I wouldn’t claim ANY of the bullshit my father and his forefathers spewed! Gag out. I think religion as a whole in general is a trip. I believe in free thinkers and I think if people want to call themselves starseeds~ so be it? The last time I wrote a post like this on something similar YEARS ago~ there weren’t other hyperlinks to look at and I couldn’t find anything on spiritual eugenics. Or starseeds being racist or ableist. I’m glad that someone took time to start the research. I appreciate it. I have an open mind and am not closed off to thinking that the WORD Starseed is not a kosher or okay thing to say. - I just don’t know what else to call it and I don’t care for lightworker. Maybe Shadowworker? I don’t know. I just know I am a free thinker and I’ll figure my own bullshit out. Thanks for the links.

I do very MUCH appreciate them. I still feel like a Starseed though. A Starseed that is trying to work through systemic racism. I know racism is an actual thing. I didn’t raise either of my now adult children to be racisit even though my family growing up showed some micro aggressions in certain ways. Not all of them, but a lot of the older generations did some shit that rubbed me the wrong way. I think it rubbed me the wrong way~ cuz I can’t get down with shit like that. In my heart I know racism and all that are NOT okay. I have read books and watched movies and tried to get the systemic shit dialed down. I do not consider myself racist……. But we all actually are conditioned from a very early age that whatever we are we are somehow better than others. I don’t think that. I think we are all special in our own ways. I know I have a LOT more work to do. Each day is a new day. I’m on earth to learn. I do not consider myself a human though. I just do not. I don’t think I ever will. Yesterday I realized I’m glad to be here and I will try and ground more often and be less of an alien. I can not relate to 99 percent of humanity. (Ghost World) and racism is a part of why I can’t relate. It’s a huge part. I am going to look for my other blog about this. When I explained myself in another post years ago~ it got deleted. It’s ONLY visible on my main tumblr from years since passed.

I’m also a UU and we are allowed in our religion to read other religious texts and take what resonates with our core beliefs. Cuz UUs are free thinkers and live by a set of 7 principles. None of which have a backbone in racism. They are even open to the idea of gender fluid people being descent. Who’d have thunk it? I’m still a Starseed till I find another word that I resonate with. If ever. I’ll do my research. Thanks ~ Ellie

Friendly reminder that:

The concept of starseeds promotes ableism by minimizing or denying ADHD and autism.

The ancient astronaut hypothesis promotes spiritual colonialism and destruction of other cultures by twisting other people's mythologies and sacred texts to fit their narratives.

The reptilian alien mythology is based on conspiracy theories historically used to justify oppressing and murdering real people. Loosh/blood/adrenochrome harvesting is just repackaged blood libel.

New Age mythology is chock full of repackaged right wing conspiracy theories, the same kind pushed by QAnon.

It's also full of repackaged racist pseudoscience about genetic superiority/inferiority and the function of evolution.

Ascension to 5D was supposed to have happened back in 2012, and the prediction failed.

New Agers are recycling their predictions over and over to catch new waves of people who don't know the movement's history.

Belief in Atlantis is strongly motivated by white supremacy.

For more info, see:

Looks like it's time to talk about starseeds and the New Age movement again.

How the mythology of starseeds, indigo children, crystal children, rainbow children, etc. harms kids

New Age YouTube channel caught recycling claims of imminent "first contact" for three years

Is the spiritual person a conspiracy theorist? A list of red flags

What is spiritual eugenics?

New Age beliefs that derive from racist pseudoscience

[k0mmari]

do you think binghe would be able to tell the watcher's apart after a while?

more specifically, since watchers are all bits of shen yuan's conscious given form, would they begin to form their own quirks and such after spending a certain amount of time apart from the main conscious? maybe not enough that they're no longer shen yuan, but enough that if someone (binghe) spent enough time around them, they'd be able to distinguish them from one another?

You are very much correct!! After SY split his mind, every Watcher became a little piece of his personality. They all are the same in a general sense, but sometimes one is going to be more energetic, another is going to be a bit more melancholic, etc etc; in fact they all differ visually as well in big and small ways, but I usually draw the Watchers with the same ‘base’ for simplicity sake.

(MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE ENDLESS ABYSS TRAVEL GUIDE FIC AHEAD)

In fact, Binghe is going to meet a few sides of SY’s personality during his travels, though I decided to keep it contained enough so that nobody gets lost. What that means is that I allowed myself to finally demonstrate just how much the Watchers can differ! These are some of the SY’s Binghe is going to meet, all with their own little quirks <3

As you can see however, they are not exactly the same but are mostly very similar, but there will be two special guests that show how much SY’s mind can differ, though they don’t get to be explained too much for now, as I just want to give y’all a bit of a preview hehe

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

june 3, 2022 5:15 p.m. casbah gallery

[soobin] and fifteen minutes later, your mom is back.

[henry] oh, she brought ethan and his mom. that explains the delay, they were probably auntie gossiping in the parking garage that whole time.

[grant] isn’t that–

[henry] the guy who told you he thought you were dead last time we ate at their family restaurant?

[grant] i was going to say your friend that started a fire in your dorm by burning his microwave mac and cheese, but yeah, that also describes him.

[cerise] he thought you were dead?

[grant] long story on all fronts.

. . .

[insook] grant! my adopted son! i'm so glad you’re here tonight!

[grant] of course i am! if i missed the exhibition opening, i would never forgive myself. it’s an honor to be here for you guys.

[insook] and you must be cerise, the art curator sister.

[cerise] that would be me! hello, mrs., um–

[insook] no, no, no formalities. you're practically family already. insook is fine. or mama ong. that’s what grant calls me.

[cerise] still, hello! it’s very nice to meet you finally.

[grant] so, what do you think, mama ong?

[insook] i think sanghoon would be pleased with this.

[grant] obviously, i'm not an artsy person, so i don’t know how to comment on the exhibition in an intelligent way, but it’s beautiful in here. he was very skilled, and he should have those skills celebrated and immortalized.

[cerise] your husband was talented, and i see he was fond of impressionism.

[insook] he was! he dabbled in lots of styles, but impressionism was always his favorite. he was the practical sort, and the mundane subject matter spoke to him to begin with. then he lived in france for a while when we were still dating, and he saw the best of the best of the movement there. i would have fallen in love with it, too, if i saw a monet in its original environment.

[cerise] also, from what i understand from grant, most of his career took place here, so this must feel like a fitting place for these paintings to stay.

[insook] it does. he made a lot of works across many different places, but he said he had the best experiences and inspiration here. he felt like the people and landscapes here are especially genuine. we lived for the last few decades on the upper peninsula, and…

[henry] you get to know people and places very well because it’s so quiet. quiet and also kind of empty in some spots. it’s a paradise for those who like the kind of art he liked.

[insook] you’ve probably heard from my son by now, but he hated private collecting.

[cerise] i did hear that.

[insook] artistically and personally, he learned a lot from living here, and we as a family had good lives here. now that can be returned to the community. he’d be happy if even one person appreciates this region through his eyes. i think when you’re born in any given place, you pay more attention to its flaws. you think of the negatives–the bad experiences you’ve had, the changes a town has gone through, whatever it is you dislike–but then you see that place through the eyes of someone who traveled thousands of miles to come here and loved it enough to portray its positives in a painting. it changes your perspective for the better.

[grant] from my perspective, i agree. i was looking at that set of paintings of my hometown on the corner wall a few minutes ago, and my first reaction was that you couldn’t have a more perfect painting of the scenery. and that’s me, the person who hates where i grew up so much that i avoid going anywhere up north other than my family’s houses, saying that. it was actually kind of easy to put the hatred aside for those paintings.

[henry] talk about mission accomplished.

[grant] will you miss living around here?

[insook] me? i will, just like i've missed my family and friends in seoul. i know good people here–your family, for one–and like i said, we lived a great life here. sanghoon and i were happy. henry was happy growing up here. it's just time to do something else in my life now that i'm retired and unburdened, you could say. but you ask that like i'm not coming back, though. i'll be back to visit!

[soobin] if she can’t take her adopted son with her, she’ll have to come visit you.

[insook] we could take you! no, you should work on going back to being a pilot, although…

[grant] if that doesn’t work out, you can come back and get me? sure, i'm open to anything.

[insook] we marry you off to a friend’s kid, you get an easy visa. jiyoung’s niece is single. she's quite shy, so i've never met her, but i hear she's a sweet girl. no, i'm kidding. you should pick your partner yourself.

[grant] i don’t know, i seem to have terrible taste. can i really be trusted to pick?

[henry] the karaoke girl seemed nice.

[grant] she did, but i talked to her once, so that doesn’t count.

[cerise] do you mind if i ask when you're moving?

[insook] when? oh, two weeks from now.

[cerise] wow! shit, are you guys leaving soon, too? i did hear that right that you're going with her?

[henry] you did hear that right, but no, we’re here until, i don’t know, late summer or early fall. we don’t have an exact date yet. well, okay, not anymore. we did.

[soobin] we were planning to move around the same time because, like, if we’re really doing this and your mom is leaving at the end of the spring, let’s just go. we’ll sell the house when she leaves, and we’ll follow her.

[soobin] and then i found out i was pregnant last month, and i panicked. i feel like death lately, so i'd prefer not to be stuck on a plane over the pacific or with the burden of selling a house and moving our furniture. i think i'll wait until i feel less like death and am less scared of something going wrong.

[henry] we’ll figure it out. we are at least giving ourselves an extra month or two to make decisions, which will be fine.

[cerise] okay, in that case, delaying things is rational, i think, but congratulations! that’s exciting.

[soobin] it is! we are surprised but very excited.

[grant] are you feeling okay, by the way?

[soobin] i mean, better than the last few times you've seen me, but if tonight were not extremely important, i would be in bed right now with 64oz of ginger ale.

[soobin] but i'm sticking it out. i'm good.

[libelula202]

I’m rewatching Numb3rs, a 2005 series about a mathematician helping his FBI Agent brother solve crimes.

And I’ve been thinking a lot of Jewish representation in media, what with the world being what it is right now.

Numb3rs stars Rob Morrow, David Krumholtz, and Judd Hirsch.

All three of whom are Jewish IRL.

Up until this point, the family’s religion has not been spoken about. Obviously the audience knows that all 3 men are Jewish IRL-but nothing has been explicitly talked about in the show.

I recently watched the season 3 episode Provenance, where a Jewish family has a claim to a painting stolen by the Nazis.

There is a scene where Don (Rob Morrow) asks his brother Charlie (David Krumholtz) why their family was never religious. Charlie shrugs and doesn’t really have an answer.

The story line continues, and is concluded when the family gets the painting back. And there is a beautiful scene where the song Hallelujah plays behind the family matriarch, as she holds the painting and reminisces about her family, who were all killed during the Shoah.

It ends with Don talking to his dad (Judd Hirsch) about using his FBI access to try and find any surviving extended family members. 

And it just struck me, that they never say their family is Jewish. The audience is just expected to know.

Their last name is Eppes (in the show), and of course we know these actors IRL are Jewish. But that’s all we know until this episode.

I just thought it’s so different to current times. The audience isn’t expected to be shocked that they’re Jewish, it’s just treated as a fact.

Yes, they’re Jewish.

Full stop.

No explaining, no “well I’m Jewish” moment in the dialogue.

Just an acknowledgment that this story hits close to home for them.

And then we move on.

——

I am not Jewish. I don’t know if I’m qualified to say if this is good representation or not.

But as a goy, I appreciated that I was expected to know this.

It feels like a flip of the normal culturally Christian USAmerican media script.

I don’t get explicitly told their religion, I’m just supposed to use context clues and figure it out myself. No explanation, no being force fed the answer.

It’s just a fact.

They are Jewish.

(Also I like that this is a s3 episode. Doesn’t feel forced this way.)

[chenouttachen]

how alan spends the aftermath of… everything… speaks volumes about his relationship with jeff.

after losing a loved one and going through all that he did, it would be so easy for alan to throw himself into work at the garage. it’s always been his baby, his joy, and he’d be surrounded by reminders of way and the memories they shared. it would also be natural for him to surround himself with pack family, but he doesn’t do either of these things.

he stays at jeff’s house. they don’t stay at alan’s, which has always been the safe house for them all. no, they stay at jeff’s tiny condo. and he stays there for days, curled up in jeff’s bed, not seeking anything or anyone else.

not only is this a pretty apt portrayal of the emptiness and despair that often comes with grief, but also the desire to spend as much time with the people closest to you, while you can.

understandably, he wants to be close to the man he loves after going through something so awful. he wants to stay wrapped in a bubble where the two of them are safe and secure and untouchable. he loves jeff so much he can’t bear to be apart from him.

but what really gets me, is that alan and jeff have clearly reached a new level of intimacy in their relationship.

jeff is such a private person who has been so closed off for so long. he’s been hesitant to touch alan, to get too close, but now it’s different.

despite knowing all of jeff’s reservations, alan is unflinchingly comfortable in his lover’s space. he never once apologises for taking up jeff’s time or room or energy. not only does he love this man, but he believes in the love jeff has for him too. he doesn’t see himself as a burden to jeff, because he knows that the younger man wants to take care of him. he knows that jeff wants him to feel safe and warm and loved. and he does.

[candyheartedchy]

So uh… I might end up with a live action f/o…

[loderlied]

honestly maybe considering making oleander ven and niles just original fiction characters? or finding a mind closet to shove them into while i find different settings for them…

[ranger-danger]

More Calla Mahariel

[perdvivly]

There’s a common critique of The Kingkiller Chronicles that says the main character (Kvothe) is over powered and this makes the conflicts uninteresting to read because Kvothe will always do something exceptionally clever and resolve whatever problem he comes across by being a super genius with few to no character flaws.

Examples usually cited include his admission to the university at an exceptionally young age and receiving the first ever scholarship. Or his admission into the arcanum and the showing up of his overly arrogant teacher. The list goes on.

And this seems to me to be such a tremendously poor critique it’s absolutely mystifying that it’s been made so many times. And made by people who I think in other contexts show themselves to be astute and good faith readers. It fundamentally misunderstands the very obvious point of any of the scenes they like to cherrypick. In my mind it misunderstands the point of the entire book itself.

Rothfuss’ world-building involves two primary magic systems, one very hard magic system (sympathy) and one very soft magic system (naming). And if you’ll forgive a vibic associative sort of description here, these are supposed to roughly correspond to a type of analytic intelligence and a type of thoughtful wisdom respectively.

It is important to note that Kvothe is portrayed as exceptionally talented at the analytic type of hard-magic and not particularly talented at the more reflective soft-magic.

This is an important feature to keep in mind when you look at the sort of story Rothfuss’ is trying to tell. His writing has a sort of recursive quality. The story is a frame narrative, it’s a story within a story, and often there are stories within the stories within the stories. It seems rather obvious that Rothfuss has in mind the power of thoughtful deliberateness, the power of thoughtfully chosen words, and it seems rather obvious too that he’s showing us a failure case of this. Kvothe’s story isn’t wish-fulfilment Mary Sue fantasy. It’s a tragedy. It’s how you end up old and alone and regretting your life story. The protagonist is reckless, arrogant, and mentally agile in a way that gets him off the hook in situations that might seem short-term unpleasant to be in, but would otherwise serve as valuable learning experiences.

Kvothe is unable to see the value of things that his teachers say are difficult or impossible to fully explicate. He is insistent that his own mental prowess is sufficient to overcome any surmountable obstacle. He’s brought up short several times, he’s asked to describe love, or music, and he blusters on seemingly unaware of his own incompetence.

There’s an analogy to Hamlet to be made. Kvothe’s hamartia is the obverse face of the Danish Prince’s, he never stops to think, he just acts—and disaster follows.

The scene where Kvothe is admitted into the university at a young age and given the first ever scholarship is a good example of this actually. How did he manage to accomplish this? He cheated. He broke into the admissions hall and spied on other candidates taking the entrance exam and memorised the questions the examiners asked and their model answers. This is explained in the very next passage to him taking the exam, but I guess people making the critique found it egregious enough that they put the book down before reading on to that part.

Kvothe sacrifices long-term deep understanding of the world for short-term gain. He uses his analytic faculties to try to game the system. And we know, as he says at the very beginning of the story, that he will eventually suffer for it.

None of this is to say that Kkc is beyond reproach. There are very legitimate criticisms to be made about its representation and treatment of women. It’s just that people so often want to make a critique of it that misunderstands it so badly it makes me think they should read it. The force of the book is directed to people who would misunderstand it in this way… But it’s difficult to explain that to someone who is trapped in that sort of misapprehension.

[sparky-is-spiders]

Instead of spilling all my tangled and Deeply Personal feelings about love I guess I’ll just say this.

Aromantic Jon makes complete and perfect sense to me in a way that I don’t have the words to describe. I don’t think he’s aware of it. I think maybe he feels like there is a gaping hole inside him and he is reaching desperately for anything to finally fill it. I think he is starved of human connection. I think he is deeply and painfully emotionally repressed, perhaps because of his trauma, perhaps by some fundamental disconnection from himself. I think he struggles to care about other people. I think he sometimes forgets, until guilt makes that awareness sit cold and heavy in his mind. I don’t think he has ever loved in the ways he suspects he was supposed to.

[cyb3r-mutt]

Sometimes being cozy and sleepy just feels really nice

[kavehayati]

“In general I find the idea of being with a man disgusting but I don’t find it disgusting with him”

- spoken by a lesbian

[the-becom1ng]

like i kinda forgot because like. i hadn’t really interacted with New people in months you know? but being myself is actually exhausting and im kind of sick of it.

[songtwo]

idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..

[springsfields]

this blog is my journal now, i no longer care to maintain some form of facade with a queue and not venting like i want to

i’ve never been this low in my life. i have bpd and am quite dependent on my relationships with my loved ones and i just went five days without talking to anybody other than my FP. that’ll sound like nothing to most people but i’ve never done that in my life. i’ve always had some sort of communication or other. and i’ve kept trying to force myself out of this depression and it’s just caused burnout and resentment to the people who refuse to understand my situation. i can’t keep going like this and forcing myself to be around people when i dont feel able, but on the other hand im then left with debilitating anxiety that people are going to hate me for putting myself first for once. i’ve always taken care of myself where i’ve been able to during my path to recovery, but learning that means taking a step back from most connections is really hard. over the last two days ive messaged a lot of friends of varying closeness just to be like “hey it’s not you it’s me” and i really need to stop because like. i shouldn’t be apologising that me dealing with being suicidal means i need to be quieter. idk.

[moriphyte]

just debated a zionist at work i need a fuckin smoke