#I don’t know how to write stories that well

[prettyboykatsuki]

do you see anyone other than me? (baby please) | rafayel (lnds)

✮ tags ; rafayel x fem+ afab!reader, established relationships, dom!reader, sub!rafayel, gentle femdom, oral (m!recieving + some f!recieving), anal (m!recieving), praise kink (so much), dirty talk (SO much),pegging / topping, top!reader, bottom!rafayel dry orgasms 18+

✮ wc ; 6.9k (come on man)

✮ a/n ; reader and mc do not share a personality in this. reader is intentionally meant to have like... a more serious personality. so they are mc but not at the same time if that makes sense sdkjskj.

also i know this guy but only a little bit. i was planning on binging the main story after caleb got released but got ?? caught up writing this?? this has happened twice im so scared

✮ synopsis ; making sure rafayel actually forgives you is at the top of your priorities.

When you come home  from the office, take your shoes off, and turn the corner into the living room—you know without looking that Rafayel is in a mood.  

Not a good one.  

It’s something in the air, a lingering tension that makes all movement stiff as you attempt to navigate through the unease. You find Rafayel on the couch. Soft, deep lavender waves tussled like he’s been tossing and turning - pressed into the side of the couch. All curled up small.  

Somehow, you just know what sort of attitude you’ll be met with. You know your lover well enough to know that he’ll be moody but you’ve less confidence in regards to what that mood may be.  

Taking a deep breath, you step into the wide expanse of Rafayel’s living room and studio. His head turns, bangs falling in his face as you slide your work bag off from your shoulder to set aside. Your keys, noisy as you set them down, even gently—trying to leave the air undisturbed. He’s looking at you from over his shoulder but realizes he can’t completely see you that way. Instead of standing to his feet to come greet you, he drops his head back on the arm of the couch to stare at you upside down in a tense silence.  

You give him a look. His mood is sour. Maybe more than you thought. He smiles first, then frowns unhappily before turning his attention back to what he was doing. You hear small scratching noises—he’s sketching. You wonder how long he’s been sitting there doing that, since he usually just prefers to paint without thinking too hard.  

After that, he doesn’t look at you. He doesn’t greet you, either.  

“I’m home.” You say evenly. You think about being placating from the jump, but without knowing his exact reason - you worry you’ll only worsen the state of affairs.  

Rafayel hums. “Welcome home.”  

Your brain wracks through every possibility on what could be the source of this level of moodiness. Sometimes, his moody behavior is for kicks but it’s not this time. If it was, he’d lay it on thickly. Act theatrically towards you, get in your face about it. 

But he’s tense, forceful—every scratch of his pencil is too harsh like it’s rife with irritation. You tread carefully.  

“Can I sit with you?”  

“Why are you asking? Don’t you live here too? Just because I bought the couches with my money doesn’t mean—“  

“Rafayel.” You say, interrupting him. He scowls at you. “Can I?”  

As if more bothered by you being level, he huffs. It’s followed with a business smile over his shoulder. “Sure. Do whatever you want.”  

You choose to sit on the empty end of the couch where Rafayel does his sketching - fitting yourself in the gap of his space near his feet. You slide yourself in then gently lift his legs into your lap. Rafayel gives you a look when you do this, clearly debating on whether or not he should reject your act of goodwill. Ultimately he stays. 

Notably, while his pencil is still scratching on paper - you think by this point he’s not really sketching anything at all.  

“I got off of work late,” You explain. You rest your hands on his calf gently. “There was an incident near the station but it was a false alarm so I ended up being cleared.”  

“Oh? Is that so?”  

Warm, you think. You nod.  

“There’s been a lot of Metaflux increases in the residential districts close to our headquarters. It’s odd.” You explain. Rafayel is quiet, looking at his nails disinterested. You go on, not taking offense. “Strange as it is, there’s been no active threats. Still, given the location, it needs a lot of man power to be investigated.”  

Rafayel sits quietly, unreadable. You continue on. “So it’s been busy. I think we’ve cleared the level of threat, so another team will probably take over soon.”  

“Hm.” Rafayel says, a petulant edge to his voice. Warmer. “So that’s why you’ve been so late this week. I guess it’s good that nothing happened. It must’ve been difficult, so difficult if you could barely spend time with your one and only lover. But I guess it’s fine, it’s not like there’s anything you can do in that circumstances. Well, you could’ve done a lot but if it didn’t occur to you there’s nothing to be said, then again—why would it—“  

Hot. “Rafayel.”  

“What.” 

“I’m sorry for being late,” You say.  

A beat. His frown deepens.  

“And?”  

You pause before answering, smiling apologetically. “For not keeping in contact with you more.”  

Some of the life returns to him. You’ve deduced the source of his bad mood, which means the only thing left is to alleviate it. You don’t like seeing him upset. He’s quick to forgive you, always optimistic and trying to keep your relationship lighthearted.  

But there is an underlying desire in him that makes you more conscious about any minor infringements. Despite himself, Rafayel is more concerned about you liking him than he’ll ever let on in  his life. Even when he’s upset, he’ll forgive you - but the feelings linger until they explode. When he gets like that, it’s much harder to comfort him.  

It’ll fester if you don’t apologize properly. You know him well enough to know that and you love him well enough to not want to see when disaster strikes.  

(Plus, there’s something about the way he’s still pouting. He’s trying to relax, but it’s there. It’s cute to you. It makes you want to kiss it better.) 

“I’m sorry,” You offer. You reach for the hand resting in his lap and he lets you take it, though it’s limp. You press a kiss to the back of it, eyes full of affection. “I’m not used to having someone wait for me,”  

Rafayel makes another face at you, unreadable. “Not just anyone.”  

You laugh lightly. “That’s true.”  

Squeezing his hand tighter, you kiss it one more time. “Can I make it up to you…?” 

“I don’t know. Can you?”  

“I’d like to,” You offer, another kiss - just higher on back of his hand. Closer towards his wrist. “Whatever you wanted.”  

“Whatever I want is a tempting offer, Miss Bodyguard. What a talent for bargaining you have, indeed. Maybe you should try bidding a one of my auctions, just to see.” 

“I’d bid too high off the bat. I’d go bankrupt,” You tease back, a sweet lilt to your voice that makes Rafayel’s eyes shimmer, fond of your wit. “Would you be willing to keep me if I gave it all up that way, I wonder?”  

“Since it was for me, I could consider being merciful.”  

You give him sincere but small smile and Rafayel seems to warm up seeing it. He can be coy, even playful about his affection but there’s something about him today that feels more shy then it does anything else. 

“If I can ask for whatever I want,” Rafayel starts. “Maybe we could start with paying back your dues. After all you owe me your full undivided attention after your week of neglect.” 

“That’s easy.” You say, charming. Rafayel makes a face at you that makes you want to laugh. “I wanted to give you that anyway. Is that all?”  

“Are you telling me to be more demanding? You think that’s a wise choice?”  

“If it makes you happy, I’ll play the fool.”  

It’s corny, deliberately not something you’d say to anyone else or at any other time. Something that Rafayel might say to you in a different circumstance, so in a way you’ve simply beat him to the punch. He goes through several feelings, each passing over his expression. Amusement to disbelief to embarrassment even he can’t cover up too easily. 

Great risk comes with great reward. Yours is a smiling Rafayel, boyish and amused. Color returned to him, a playful air of mischief about him.  

“Well if you’re that desperate to make it up to me, then I guess I could try to forgive you. Gosh, you must be so desperate if you’re willing to act this way. You’ve totally fallen for me, haven’t you?”  

Yes, you think. Too much of that at once and he’ll get shy again. You’ll have plenty of coaxing to do later so you keep the thought to yourself. You smile at him instead. “So, you’ve anymore demands for me, my liege?”  

Rafayel hums before breaking out into a grin. “Hmm. For now, just one.” He offers you his hand. “Take me upstairs.”  

__  

Rafayel has a way about him, with you and only you, that makes you especially weak to his advances.  

Whatever those advances are, however taxing on you they may be—there’s so rarely a time where you can tell him no. He likes having that much influence over you, no matter what his particular mood is. If he’s feeling the desire to keep you under his thumb or be at your mercy. Whats central to him in each instance is that he has the full breadth of your attention, your desire, and most importantly—your lacking will to resist.  

You like it all because you like Rafayel. Like how it feels trying to hold onto him as  he slips between your fingers.  

If someone asked you what you like most, though - it’d be this.  

Not quite at your mercy but expectant of your devotion. Crystalline eyes and long, straight lashes blinking up at you with unwitting demand, crowding around you mercilessly. A gaze that weakens you, disarms you, demands your propriety.  

“What are you thinking about?”  

His words come out more annoyed than he wants them to. Your eyes come back into focus to Rafayel on top of you, in your lap as you lean against the headboard. His weight settled like he’s something that fits there perfectly and he does. Your hand reaches for his lower back, eyes tracing down the damp skin. Button shirt opened just loose enough to catch glimpse of his collarbones, with only boxers underneath. Your hands run down his sides, smooth down his bare thighs - mesmerized by cream colored skin that begs for blemishes. 

His expression bewitches you even when your mind had prepared you for it. You smile almost lazily, drawing him just a little closer to you until your noses touch. “Of you.”  

He scoffs at you. “Is that so? Not that you have no reason to think about your perfect, darling lover—it’s just that it seems like he’s the last thing on your mind these days, so you know,-“ 

You kiss him. It’s only partially to shut him up. It’s mostly because him talking makes you look at the shape of his mouth, the curve of his lips—the way he’s pouting at you. It’s almost too much. You part after a minute, careful not to deepen the kiss.  

He has something to say after the fact, dazed - hands on your shoulders trying to give himself the room to speak before you kiss him again.  

But you don’t relent. You kiss him harder, a hand around the back of his neck - slipping your tongue against his lips in the way you like. He doesn’t concede. You’re not really expecting him to. He kisses back even harder like he’s trying to prove a point - teeth digging into your lower lip. A little too sharp for human, but perfect for him.  

You pull away breathless. A hand still on the nape of his neck, sliding around enough to feel his pulse under your thumb. Thump, thump, thump—rabbit quick. You smile at him suggestively, proving him displeased.  

“Don’t interrupt me. Trying to kiss me when I’m airing out my complaints is unprofessional and rude, I’ll have you know.” 

“I’m sorry,” Your lips brush his jawbone. “It’s hard to think about talking when you’re half-naked on top of me.”  

“You can be so vulgar. It’s shocking. You’re usually all serious and about work and then sometimes you look like a dog waiting to be told it can have the treat on it’s nose,” Rafayel says airily. Fake haughty, voice colored with coyness. You look up at him. “Does it really count as making it up to me if all you’re doing is lusting after me?”  

You don’t deny him at face value. “You set the standard. You tell me. Do you feel like I’m still making it up to you or should I work  a little harder?”  

There’s something between you. A spark of electricity that fizzles and pops, tension deepening. Rafayel likes playing tug of war with you. Even though he’s expecting to be pampered - there’s nothing easy about letting him. But it works when you keep yourself even. Eager. Having your desire and lust for him out in the open gives him the power again and he likes that, even when it’s mostly pretend.  

“Work harder. You have to earn your paycheck Miss Bodyguard.” He says. You laugh a little, sitting up a little straighter.  

“Yes boss,” You reply. You lean forward, pulling his weight down as your hands slide underneath the loose, flowy button up. Your hands find his waist, holding his sides before gliding them up on the planes of his back. He’s got lean muscle, a swimmers build that feels tight to the touch.  

You kiss him on the lips again, tongue sweeping against his lower lip. Rafayel playfully rejects it when you do. You pull away one hand to cup the back of his neck and force the kiss deeper, tongue pressing the closed seam of his lips until he yield and lets you. He melts at the gesture rather  unwittingly, the softest little whimper sounding as you feel your tongues touch. It’s a wet, hot kiss. Mouth sticky with spit and saliva.  

“I’m working hard so you shouldn’t be too hard on me,” You say playfully. Rafayel rolls his hips, makes a noise for you as he huffs. “I want to make you feel good.”  

“You’re—“  

You interrupt him again. Not with a kiss on his mouth this time, but a chaste one to the very corner of of it - trailing down the soft curve of his jawline. You make the pressure on his neck featherlight. Thin skin prone to being sensitive, he melts at the soft touch. Cranes his neck up subconsciously to give you access to it. In the spirit of pampering him, you bite at the skin with a genuine hunger. Marking each bruise with a kiss first, you sink your teeth into him without remorse. Incisors scraping the delicate area before you suck hard, broken capillaries throbbing underneath your tongue when you lick them after the fact. 

 Deep, deep shades of red and purple bloom all over the column of his throat. It doesn’t feel like enough to you still.  

“My neck hurts from all your biting.” His voice comes out in wet pants, betraying the sentiment. You laugh warmly at his attempt to diverge.  

“Does it? Should I be gentler, then?” You offer. After you feel like you’ve marked his neck enough, you press another feather-light kiss right where his adams apple sits. Another on his clavicle. When it gets to his collarbone - you don’t do anything more than brush your lips.  

Rafayel whines. It’s a throaty sound that makes your whole body break out into a shiver. Such a pleasant sound on the ears that your mind pictures instantly what other sounds he might make if you just had your way with him. It uncovers a selfish part of you. You could flip him over on your bed and take him if you wanted. Fuck him until he sings as punishment maybe for being tempting like a siren drawing a lone sailor into deep waters.  

You keep the thoughts to yourself, and keep your composure. You ask again instead. “Come on. Tell me. Do you want me to touch you more gently?”  

He fusses in your lap. You grin. “What’s the point in being gentle now if you’re being so rough to begin with? The change would be just weird, you know.”  

“I guess it would,” You let yourself lick the same places you just kissed. You bite then hard enough to leave a mark and Rafayel arches himself into it. “It’s better like this then, right? If I leave marks all over you, then maybe you’ll feel less lonely when I get busy again.”  

“I should get to leave them on you too. Your memory isn’t as sharp as it used to be. A physical reminder might do you some good, yes.”  

His voice is trembling, despite himself. You pull away to look up at him, and catch sight of a fragility you sometimes forget he’s capable of. Brows drawn into a furrow, lips pulled into a pout. Like a wound reopened inside of him that he’s so desperate to cauterize but can’t. You want to kiss the lines between his brows and get on your knees for it. A proof of your affection.  

“I’m sorry for being careless,” You say, sincere. Rafayel looks ready to quiet you, concerned about the mood but you proceed anyhow. You lift his shirt up and hold it to his mouth, and he bites without your instruction. Bare chest exposed to him, you flit your gaze to his face. “I can’t do anything but try to beg your forgiveness. Still,”  

You kiss his sternum, your hands on his waist. You fingers trail down his sides, hands sliding back up to chest. His nipples are hard, damp skin cool to the touch. Your warm him with your fingers, rolling over the sensitive tips. Rafayel makes a muffled noise, his cock twitching responsively.  

“All I ever really think about is you,” You say. Rafayel gives you a long, unreadable look as you toy with his chest. “I’m not the type to half-ass things so my thoughts always revolve around you. Finishing work to come home to you. If you’ve eaten or if you locked yourself in the studio to paint all day. If we should go somewhere together on my day off.”  

You lean forward and stick your tongue out, taking his nipples into your mouth. You roll the other one with your hand to increase the pleasure - content as you watch his face begin to flush. He watches you so closely, the tips of his ears burning a bright red. You suck hard, wetting them with saliva before you take them gently between your teeth and tugging.  

“I’m not good at balancing work with play. I’m also not very friendly so you’re the only person I’ve ever spent so much time dating” You hum, nuzzling his skin. “I’m sure down the line it’ll be harder. But, if it helps, it’s true that my heads always filled with you.”  

Your hands grip his waist, pushing his hips forward slightly as you suck and bite his chest again. A line of saliva connects you both as you pull away - teethmark indentations in their place.  

“I want to make you feel good,” You maneuver Rafayel until he’s underneath you. His expression reads as overwhelmed but the faint blush blooming all over his skin and the hazy look in his eyes makes you confident he’s feeling more than just uncertainty. More like restlessness. A desire to be touched as he lays on his back with you looming over him. “And to touch you everywhere.”  

You lean into him, trailing kisses down the his chest. You can feel his pulse quicken again as you touch him, spreading his legs as you put your thumb inside the waistband of his boxers.  

Like this, he looks especially enchanting. The sleeves of his shirt pulled over his palms, button-up bunched up underneath his chin, and tight gray boxer briefs snug around his hips. Your bedroom, dimly lit, casting shadow on the sinewy muscle. His chest heaves with anticipation, stomach tense as your lips trace a path down from chest to navel. Excitement wracks through his body.  

You put a hand on his stomach and look up at him. “I want to leave my mark on all of it. I want your body to remember I felt this deep inside of you and shiver. You’ll be able to think of me half as much as I think of you.”  

Rafayel heaves, eyes glossed over. “Shit, you’re so unfair. It’s like you have two personalities or something. Are you tricking me? Is it actually you in there?”  

You smile a little, pleased by his reply.  

You follow your instinct, sliding his boxers off and tossing them somewhere. Rafayel is hard. So hard it looks like it hurts. The tip of his cock is ruddy, wet with pre-cum and swollen. His dick is long. Stands up with a straight curve. You breathe on it, making Rafayel flinch with anticipation. Your eyes flicker up to his face, terrible pout betraying his feigned moodiness..  

“Don’t tease me,” He voices. Arousal strikes through you like hot iron at the whine of his voice. Almost pitiful.  

“Not today,” You promise. 

You making yourself comfortable between Rafayel’s legs, sticking your tongue out to taste him. He smells like soap and skin, but the scent is still so arousing. Your head is heavy with it, senses suffocating, hands stabilizing themselves by grabbing hold of his thighs. Rafayel looks near overwhelmed from even the slightest touch. It’s uncharacteristic for him to be so quiet. Almost meek. He must be aching for you more than he lets on.  

You let his cock rest against your face, nuzzling it with your cheek. His cock responds sweetly to the lewd act. He lets out a sigh about, subtly trying to shimmy away from the touch. Unable to win against your grip, he sinks back into the bed and takes a long breath.  

“Keep your eyes on me,”   

In the business of spoiling him, you leave your teasing to a minimum. You gather spit in your mouth and spit it onto his cock with force - relishing the his breath hitches. How his eyes widen just slightly. You stroke his shaft with a tight grip, bringing your head down suck lightly below the shaft of his cock. His head falls back again, mouth open in a silent plea.  

Rafayel keens for you when you work him with the warm, wet cavern of your mouth. You use your hands to fondle him while you shift your attention to his length. Your lips placing hot kisses up until they stop at the slit - tongue dipping into and tasting precum. Salty and warm. You wet your lips again and brush them against his cock - watching the way his expression shifts at the sensation, lightly sucking as you build yourself up having him in your mouth.  

He pitches his hips with desperation that spurs you to give him more pleasure. You open wide to take his cock into your mouth. The weight of it feels good. Arousal clouds your mind as you hollows your cheeks and stick your tongue out over your lip. He’s throbbing so hard it makes you lightheaded.  

A minute passes as you just hold him in your mouth, getting your jaw used to the sensation before you put in work in making him feel good. Like steel over your velvet, you use your tongue to lap at the sensitive skin while spitting and drooling. You’re making a mess. The room echoes with the filthy noise of you swallowing and choking on Rafayel’s cock.  

“Oh, fuck.” 

Your eyes flicker up to Rafayel, trying not to crack a smile at the state of disarray he’s in. His expression is so twisted from pleasure. All of his features reflective of it. His blush seems to creep down even further the longer you go. Your body gradually heats up, core throbbing as you take him down. Take him slowly into the narrow canal of your throat, eyes watering.  

You ease yourself down the very base - nose pressed against his navel, tongue over your lip. Rafayel’s fingers curl into the sheets underneath you trying not to buck his hips.  

“Get off of me, I’ll cum.” He says, almost panicked. “Your throat feels so good. Y-your mouth is so hot and it’s making me feel so good, can’t—I can’t. You gotta get off or—”  

His words of protest fall on deaf ears as you spread his legs even further. Wanting to make him feel better, you part them. 

 You’re greeted by pretty pink hole - already wet for you. A stream of spit follows as you pull off him. 

 Rafayel heaves in relief.  

“You got yourself ready,” You say, less than ask. Rafayel rolls his eyes.  

“So what if I did?” 

“I wanted to do it for you.” You reply, pretending to sulk. “Told you I wanted to spoil you.”  

He blushes further. “Don’t you have any sensibility? You’re doing more than enough. Being excessive, even.”  

“I don’t believe in being excessive when it comes to you,” You hum. Sitting up, you reach over the bedside table for a bottle of lube. You pour it in excess on your two fingers before coming back down between his legs. The bed creaks under your weight.  

Lube drips from your two fingers onto Rafayel’s hole, thick as you push the excess with two fingers. Both go in so smoothly it makes you smirk. He’s soft inside. It’s so easy for you to put both fingers inside of him, even easier to find his prostate - swollen from arousal. He must’ve fucked himself open like this on three fingers given how easily yours follow.  

“It’s so wet inside. You must’ve really wanted me to fuck you.”  

“So what if I—aah—did?”  

“Well, I wanted to take you apart nice and slow.” You say, slowly rubbing your fingers against his prostate, pleased by the little oh noises he makes when you. Cum spills from the tip immediately. He’s so sensitive. You divulge your plans to him as you stretch him. “First with my mouth once or twice.  I was going to save fucking you for the end  but—“ You push your fingers deeper. To the knuckle. His eyes shoot wide open before his voice breaks into a moan. “Since I’m making it up to you you, I was wondering if I should just cut the chase and make you cum on my cock over and over and over. Maybe you’d prefer that.”  

Rafayel’s eyes go wide. You feel a sense of accomplishment knowing without him telling you. He clears his throat, strangely sheepish.  

“It’s not like the other stuff feels bad or anything—“  

You make eye contact with him, sitting up on your knees. Your other hand cups the back of his neck as you press a third finger inside - fucking it in slowly. Rafayel moans unabashedly as you do. His skin is feverish as you press your forehead to his, noses brushing. The wet sound of you stretching him open makes you dizzy, shared breaths between you filling worsening your appetite for him.   

“It’s not what you want though, is it? Not today anyway.” You say, leaning close enough to kiss. You don’t follow through, your voice low on a whisper. “Tell me how you were picturing me fucking you in the shower. I’ll give you whatever you want today,”  

Rafayel seems to let go of the last threads of fight in him as you approach like this. You’re in the thick of your wanting for him. Your body and your mind hunger to make it feel so good it looks like carnage to everyone else. To be pleasured so ruthlessly he can barely move 

He’s rarely too shy but right now he’s in the depths of his desires. He moans sweetly like this. It’s not a sound you can coax out of him easily. It sounds so perfect still. Mouth fallen open, his hands finding purchase in the back of your shirt.  

“Want you to fuck me deeply,” He pants, like it’s straining to even thinking about it. “N-not too fast, but not too slow either. Want you, hngh,” Shivering, he tries to speak coherently as your eyes meet - lips barely touching but almost. “To p-praise me and—“  

You grin. “You want to pampered while I fuck this pretty little hole, right?”  

You push your fingers in harder. He whimpers. It’s loud and broken and makes grip on you tighter. He just nods. “Please. Fuck, please - need it now. In me, please.”  

It’s exactly the words you’re interested in hearing. You kiss him on the lips deeply. He sinks completely into the touch, malleable under your fingertips.  

“Shh, I know.” You hum, soothingly. Rafayel whines from the loss of contact as you pull your hand away.“You earned it. Just a little more.” 

You stand up again on your knee, stripping yourself of the remaining garments left on your body from the work day. You unhook your bra and take it off along with your tank top in one go, tossing it somewhere on the floor. 

Next come your slacks, tight from the way you’ve tucked silicone cock up against your stomach to be ready to fuck. You put it on earlier while he bathed - tucking it in your pants to keep it out of the way. Seeing you unzip your work slacks and have a heavy silicone cock fall from them evokes a reaction in Rafayel that endears you endlessly. A bitten lip while a shiver wracks through him. 

Deciding your pants will get in the way, you make quick work of wriggling out of them completely before returning between Rafayel’s legs. You spit in your hand and stroke yourself with it, wetting your cock before letting it rest against Rafayel’s own. 

“How do you want it?” You ask.  

“Like this,” He says, unmoving. He seems certain on that end but he’s hesitating. “But I want you to…” 

He looks away. You try not to grin but fail.  

“You were being so bold a second ago,”  

He rolls his eyes. “Well a second ago someone was trying to rearrange my insides so I didn’t have to think very hard,”  

“So, should I do it again, then? I think we’ll get better results that way.”  

“You’re so noisy. I don’t pay you for this,” He pauses. “I want you to hug me while we… like be close to me.” 

You pause before smiling gently. You’re so charmed by the innocence of it. It’s so unlike him. Being away from you must’ve bothered him more than he cared to admit. Softening, instantly - you lean forward and press your lips to his forehead.  

“Sure. Anything else?”  

“Ugh. Not for now. But it’s annoying. I should be running you into the ground by now but here you are,” 

“Making good on my promise?,” You finish. Rafayel doesn’t refute you. You kiss his shoulder blade. “Anything you want today. I’m yours.”  

“Say it again,”  

“All yours.”  

He wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you down. “…Hurry up and fuck me then.”  

Complying with his wishes, you sit back on your knees as you line your cock up with Rafayel’s entrance and push. He gasps as you slide the fat head of your cock in, a wicked smile on your face as you watch his hole stretch out and around you. Three fingers is more than enough prep. It makes filling him so easy.  

Still, the stretch - the feeling of being full is nothing like just fingers. You watch as Rafayel’s body adjusts to  it. Inch by inch, you rock your hips forward gently until he’s swallowed your cock up half-way. He’s trembling as you lean forward. Waiting for you to bottom out before he pulls you forward for as much skin to skin as he can have. Your chest squishes against him.  

When his hips roll for you to go deeper, you take it as a sign. With all of your strength, you hold onto his waist bury yourself inside of him in another single thrust. His nails dig into your shoulder, his voice next to your ear as you. Tightening his grip, he cries out at the sudden movement 

You can feel him shake underneath you, cock clenching hard while you hold him.  

“Fuuck,”  He goes stone stiff underneath you before starting to tremor more violently. “Fuck, oh fuck.”  

Realization dawns on you a few seconds later. “Did—did you cum just from putting it in?”  

He opens his eyes and frowns at you.  

“Shut up. I didn’t get to cum earlier.”  

You laugh. “You’ll kill me being this cute. I don’t know what to do.”  

“I could give you an idea if you’re going to just sit there,”  

His impatience amuses you.  

“Sorry. I’ve got you. Cum as much as you want.”  

You anchor yourself, pulling out slowly and internally groaning at the resistance as you do. How his hole grips onto you so tight it feels nearly hard to move despite know how stretched he is. A phantom sensation fills your waist as you feel his stomach shift as you thrust.  

Heeding earlier requests, you use your hips to set a pace to fuck Rafayel the way he wants. The ins and outs of his body come naturally to you now. Finding the right pace, the right motion, the right angle - all come easier to you than you even remember. On muscle memory, you hike Rafayel’s legs up and begin to fuck him deep. Not too fast, not too slow - but consistent in grinding against that sweet spot. Deliberately thrusting your hips up, you try to direct all the remaining focus into fucking him as good as you can.  

You know you’ve hit the right places when his grip on you gets tighter. His legs locked around your back, Rafayel is a mess underneath you even when you’ve barely begun. Like he can’t stop cumming, his body helplessly wound as your hips clap his ass.  

The moans that come out of him, broken and sweet. More angelic then pornographic but lewd enough to make you dizzy with the urge to pin him up and fuck him harder. Groaning when you fuck him just right. You can feel his cock against your stomach with how close your bodies are as you grind - twitching. Pre-cum leaking in long spurts and wetting your skin. 

You coo at him feeling it start to be easier to fuck him.  

“It’s just like a pussy, huh? You take me so good inside of you. It feels like you were made for it,” You press kisses wherever your lips can find the skin. On his face, his mouth, on his shoulders. You can barely make sense of your own filth, your mind moving on it’s own as your body chases its own arousal. Your clit is grinding against the base of your strap-on so well like this, you could easily chase the high and find your own orgasm with seconds. You’re too busy paying attention to make well on it. “I like when you act cute like this. Usually you’d put up a fight about it but you’re asking without fuss. It’s precious seeing you fall apart on my cock.”  

He moans your name like an incantation, another dribble of cum spilling. He can’t stop cumming. Just shuddering beneath you, his face in your shoulder and panting like he can’t find the words.  

“All mine, yeah? Everything, all of you. It’s all mine to tend to, so you can be as selfish as you want.” You hum, encouraged by the whimpering repetition of please in his voice. He’s being so pliant, so good. You can’t help yourself. “Take when you need. Cum when it feels good for you. I want you to feel good. Want to make you feel so good you can’t stand it. Think you can do that? Come on,”  

Rafayel moans brokenly into your neck. “I’m g-gonna cum so hard, fuck—feels like I can’t stop, please don’t stop, fuck me,” 

“Shh it’s okay. I wont stop until you tell me.” You tuck yourself against his neck, kissing it before biting his ear lobe. He gasps. “Don’t think about anything other than cumming for me.”  

“Fuck,” His nails dig into your biceps, coiling you around as you get close. “Fuck me. P-please—I’m cumming, I’m cu -“  

Rafayels whole body stiffens under the weight of your body. You fuck him steady, pinning him down as he cums. His cock pushes hard against your stomach, twitching helplessly as his cum spills in streams. His back curls up, gripping onto you tightly as he moans loud and unabashed, euphoria splintering through his muscles. You fuck him through it until he rides out his high - his body loosening up as soon as it passes.  

The sound of cum unsticking from your skin as you part from Rafayel makes you grin. You pull back out of slowly and get on your knees. You use your hand to wipe the cum off of your stomach and smear it against Rafayel’s hole.  

“You made a mess,” You say brightly. Rafayel pants, looking up at you. Before you can ask, his voice trembles. He weakly reaches for your hand.   

“Let me make you finish,” He says, abrupt. You blink at him owlishly. “Please.”  

“Isn’t this about you?”  

He frowns, looking at you seriously.  

“It is. And I’m telling you I want you sit on my face and cum on it. Please.”  

You give him a look before breaking out into a laugh. You stand onto your knees and undo the buckles of your harness - shimmying out of them. “I can’t refuse you if you ask like that but I don’t think it’ll be long.”  

“It’ll just be once for now,”  

“For now?”  

He nods matter-of-factly. “You still owe me after the crimes of neglect you’ve committed against me.”  

“Right.”  

“And I’ve decided I want to exercise my rights to eat pussy until sunrise.”  

“I see,” You say bemused. “And this is… revenge I take it? And not perhaps, an act of goodwill towards me.”  

“I have no reason to show you good will, do I?”  

You break out into more laughter. 

“Right. We’ll be even after today then, at least.”  

“Hurry,” Rafayel says again, after settling it. Same puppy dog look in his eyes as before, back in instant. You can’t help but be charmed by how quickly he reverts back into desiring your attention.  

Rafayel lays down as you take your strap-on off and crawl over towards him. Deciding you’re not done with him for the day - you stand on your knees just over his chest and spread your pussy apart for him to see. He’s not expecting it, evidenced by the way his eyes go wide at the sight. 

“Even without cumming, making you feel good turned me on this much. Is that what you were hoping to know?”  

Rafayel goes flush again. “I never said that.”  

“So difficult,” You hum. “Come on. Can I sit?”  

Rafayel barely masks his enthusiasm as he nods. You crawl over him further before carefully setting yourself above his face. You try to avoid letting the full weight rest on him, but Rafayels hands are on you in an instant. With the same desperate grip he had while you were fucking him, he pulls your thighs down until your pussy is in his mouth - tongue out and lapping up wetness instantly. You shiver at the desperate movement of his tongue. 

It gets your body hot all over again. Your fingers thread through the purple strands of hair for anchor as you push yourself against his willing mouth like you’re fucking his face. Your own desires hadn’t crossed your mind until now, but now that you’re aware of it - that familiar restless lust returns to you tenfold You shiver as the familiar flames of arousal stoke back up inside of you.  

Your gut honeyed, sticky lust making your limbs feel thick. You use your other hand to tweak your nipples as you rock your hips back and forth. Rafayel lies underneath you obediently, eagerly - his hands helping you move at the pace you want without complaint. He always manages to surprise you. His willingness to give to you making you feel weak in the knees.  

Already so worked up, it takes you hardly any time to reach your climax. You feel it in your waist, body going slack as the knot inside of your stomach uncoils. You let out a short cry, hands tightening in Rafayel’s hair as you cum all over his face - swearing as you do. You feel Rafayel moan against you, reverberating through you as you ride out your high and finish.  

You pull away from his sated, pulling back to see him wiping his chin before licking his fingers. The look in his eyes sends an amused sort of arousal through you.  

“You look like you’re going to eat me.” You say. Rafayel nods.  

“I mean… I’m certainly trying.”  

You laugh tiredly, swiping your thumb against his cheek with a smile.  

“After we clean up and have dinner,” You say. “I have some mandatory time off so I won’t be called in.”  

“I won’t let you sleep,” He says, clingy again - face pressed against your thigh. You grin. His many moods make you so weak to him. 

You bend down to kiss his forehead.  

“I wasn’t planning on it.”  

✮ a/n ; rafayel fans . let me know if this was okay im lacking confidence but i had writing him. i want to keep like a spoiled housecat maybe.

[mysteria157]

@oddeyenonis-blog it really has been a year since I posted this on tumblr 😭😭😭 I started this story in Oct 2023 and finished Feb 2024 and as my first fic…it was such a whirlwind.

I will say I feel such pride when I look at this story, when I reread chapters, I can see how free I felt. Not really knowing other writers and just being in my little bubble. You don’t feel the eyes on you when you write. And it was so easy for me to just push our chapter after chapter.

Now that I know more people, it’s harder. Imposter syndrome is always on my shoulder. Writers block is a constant and unwanted companion. But I’ve grown so much as a writer.

Made so many friends, come up with new ideas, built more confidence with myself. I wouldn’t change any part of this story.

Thank you @oddeyenonis-blog for telling me (I had no idea LOL) and being a supporter since the beginning and to everyone else that loved this story as well 💕💕💕

Fic Masterlist

Pairing: Nanami Kento x Black Female Reader

Genre: Fluffy Smutty Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy/Sort of Enemies to Lovers AU

CW: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Baby Daddy Nanami Kento, Unplanned Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, MINORS DNI

©mysteria157, all rights reserved. DO NOT copy, plagiarize, reupload, modify, or translate (without permission) my work to other accounts and platforms.

Summary: 

You probably shouldn’t have slapped him.

But you didn’t care. He deserved it after days of dismissive remarks and hard glares to everything you worked so hard for.

“I’m pregnant. I don’t want your help. I don’t need your help. The fact that you’re the father is more than enough to keep me away from you.”

or: Despite your differences and frustrations with one another, you share a drunk but passionate night tangled in the sheets. But now, five weeks later, you and Nanami Kento have no choice but to navigate a rocky relationship while also embracing the new responsibilities of parenthood that lay ahead.

Author’s Notes: This is my very first fic! This entire process has been a journey and there will always be things that I can improve on. But for now, please enjoy. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I love writing it! <3

~Those Moments In Between - moments that take place during and after It Had To Be You.~

Chapter Summaries:

Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. Feel free to leave a comment to let me know your thoughts. Or send me a message if you want! Love you all <3

Chapter 1: Your life comes to a startling halt when you realize the abrasive and dismissive man you shared a passionate but drunken night with is now the father of your child.

Chapter 2: That first day when you meet him, you’re bright eyed and ready to work alongside him, filled with so many ideas that will benefit the company. Him, Nanami Kento, a highly esteemed director that always made your stomach flip in desire. But it turns out, he’s not what you thought. Flashback

Chapter 3: When it comes to work, Nanami likes to follow a specific code for people like you. And he would like to think it’s working so far. But one too many drinks and things change. Flashback

Chapter 4: When you think you’re a step ahead to keep Nanami out of your way, your world comes crashing down and makes it harder for you to decide to break the news.

Chapter 5: You want nothing to do with him. Nanami wants to make the right decision. 

Chapter 6: You catch subtle glimpses of another side of Nanami. You both come together to meet the life you have created together. A traumatic part of your life makes itself known. 

Chapter 7: Pregnancy hormones get the best of you. You are given a big opportunity in your company. But it’s not what it seems.

Chapter 8: You deal with the fallout. An unexpected visitor puts your life in jeopardy. Nanami tries to pick up the pieces. 

Chapter 9: You make a life change and show a side of yourself that you never wanted to entertain. Nanami asks you to dinner. 

Chapter 10: You catch a glimpse of the growing life within. A home cooked meal and a searing kiss.

Chapter 11: Nanami gifts you with something that sets a new course in your life. When confessions are finally laid on the table, you both give in.

Chapter 12: A vulnerable moment with each other. A baby shower. An accident that throws Nanami’s life in disarray.

Chapter 13: You and Nanami navigate through grief.

Chapter 14: A birthday, a confession, and a new addition.

Chapter 15: You and Nanami navigate through the first months of parenthood. Nanami gives you an amazing birthday gift. A surprising encounter with someone from Nanami’s past makes you unsure of yourself.

Chapter 16:  The last person you ever wanted to see pries into your life. Nanami makes a life changing decision. Your hard work finally pays off.

Chapter 17: You work hard to bring life to something dear to Nanami.

Chapter 18: You help Nanami on the anniversary of Yu's death. Nanami finally works up his courage during a warm day of Sakura season.

Chapter 19 (Epilogue): Things finally come together.

**Do not plagiarize any of my works or translate without my permission!**

[niniwritesxo]

‘cute coffee guy’

roh jaewon x fem reader

summary: you enter a cute coffee shop having no idea what to order, what happens when a cute guy decides to help you out?

꩜ .ᐟ————————————————————————

the bell above the door jingled as you stepped into the daily grind, a cozy coffee shop tucked away on a quiet street corner. the smell of freshly ground coffee beans immediately wrapped around you, warm and comforting against the chilly morning air outside. the shop was charming, with mismatched furniture, chalkboard menu’s filled with handwritten specials, and shelves lined with quirky mugs.

soft indie music hummed in the background, and the buzz of quiet conversation gave the place a peaceful, lived-in feel.

as you made your way to the counter, the barista,

a guy with messy hair and a tattoo peeking out from under his rolled-up sleeve flashed you a smile. his name tag read alex.

“morning,” he greeted, his voice warm and casual. “what can I get for you today?”

you opened your mouth, but before you could respond, a voice from behind you spoke up in a tone that made you tense.

“are you seriously just standing there?” the woman behind you, clearly in a rush, tapped her foot impatiently. “there’s a line, you know. It’s not rocket science. just order something already.”

you blinked, taken aback by her bluntness, but before you could apologize, she muttered, “i don’t have all day,” and crossed her arms.

‘‘alex, give her a vanilla iced, oh and put it on my tab’’ a man sitting at the window, his laptop in front of him speaks up.

after a few minutes alex hands me the coffee the random man told me to get, great.

you look for a quiet place to sit and spot the man again, he has medium black hair, round glasses and is wearing a north face puffer jacket.

‘‘mind if i sit here?’’ you softly ask looking at the man sitting down, typing what seems like a essay.

when the man looks up you can see his full face, the way his eyebrow raised up when you spoke up, the way he stopped typing to look at you.

this guy was handsome, gosh.

‘‘oh yeah yeah, go ahead’’ he says before quickly standing up to pull the chair a bit.

as you sit down you thank him for the coffee and explain how you weren’t really that big of a coffee person.

“you’re welcome, jaewon by the way,” he said, offering his hand.

you introduced yourself, and soon the two of you fell into easy conversation. he asked what brought you to the coffee shop, and you explained you were escaping the rain and taking a break from work. when you returned the question, his eyes lit up.

“i write,” he said simply.

“like… essays or something?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink.

“something like that,” he replied, chuckling. “poems, mostly. and books.”

“oh, that’s cool,” you said, genuinely impressed. “do you do it like full-time?”

“i do,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “i’ve been lucky. a few of my books have done pretty well actually’’

“that’s amazing,” you said, your curiosity piqued. “what kind of books?”

he hesitated for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. “mostly poetry, but I’ve dabbled in fiction. stories about connection, loss, love and kind of all sort of things that make us human.”

‘‘oh i’ll definitely check it out some time!’’ you answer with a kind smile.

there was a quiet passion in his words, a depth that made you want to hear more.

by the time the rain had stopped, you realized you’d spent hours talking to jaewon. as you gathered your things to leave, he tore a page from his notebook and handed it to you.

“a little something to remember me by,” he said with a kind smile.

a few hours later you were sitting on your couch, eating take away noodles like your life depended on it. you haven’t ate since the morning and really needed these noodles.

when you grab your phone you see a text from your best friend ellie.

ellie <3:

hiii y/n, what have you been up to girl?

you:

hey elle! met the cutest guy at the coffee shop today, he bought me a coffee #iaminlove

ellie <3:

omg spill.

you:

okay so he was like a writer? apparently he is quite popular, i think he mostly writes poetry.

ellie <3:

don’t tell me his name was roh jae-won

you:

wait how..how do you know that???

ellie <3:

IT WAS? CALL ME RN

you were confused, no way he is THAT famous right?

as soon as you call ellie she goes on about how famous jae-won actually is, she told you how he has the best selling book in south korea right now.

you decided to look up his name and there it was, blogs, a sorts of new channels and fan pages talking about him, you click on the tumblr link you see with his name in it.

roh jae-won published today at 19:34:

and though the rain has gone away,

the memory still chooses to stay,

of the girl who made the coffee shop

a place where time forgot to stop.

and there you were, sitting behind your phone screen with your eyebrows scrunched together wondering if that poem was about you.

ellie <3:

no way, cute coffee guy has a crush on the one and only y/n??

you laugh at the message your friend send you, but jae-won was probably at that same coffeeshop daily so you bet it was just coincidental.

꩜ .ᐟ————————————————————————

(english is not my first language so if you spot any mistakes my apologies xo)

[uceyliyahh]

Summary: You are just a distraction to me nothing more.

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE, PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

warning contains: none

word count: 4,372

Jey Uso x Remiyah

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

this will be a four-to-five-part series hope y'all will like it trying something new. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic @yana3sworld

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93 @luvrsluxe @4milly @xbriexx @trippinsorrows @yyaktayak

DISTRACTION

Ø3

Jey

I was at the gym, focused on my decline dumbbell bench press, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It struck me that I hadn’t heard from Remiyah since our session yesterday afternoon, and her sudden departure left me feeling uneasy. Concern for her well-being began to creep in.

I constantly found myself checking my phone, yearning for a message from her, but all I received was silence, except for a text from Jaida. This lack of response made me pull away from her, marking the beginning of my emotional distance.

Whenever she expressed a desire for intimacy, I found myself turning her down, claiming exhaustion and a need for rest. I was confused about my feelings—was I developing a crush on Remiyah? It seemed impossible, as I didn’t view her in that light at all.

During my bench workouts, I noticed my brother Jimmy entering the garage with a puzzled look on his face. For a moment, concern washed over me, prompting me to pause my exercise and head over to see what was troubling him.

I set my wireless headphones aside, fully focused on his words.

“What’s up Uce?” I asked.

“Did you hear what happened?” Jimmy asked as I looked at him confused while shaking my head.

“Nah, I haven’t been on my phone yet, why what’s up?” He pulled out his phone to show me the latest news about a wrestler who had crashed their car into a tree. The images looked quite severe until I realized the car was familiar.

That was Remiyah’s car the fuck did she do?

I took his phone and examined the car more intently, confirming it was indeed hers. My heart raced with excitement as I handed his phone back, leaning back on the bench and running my hands over my face in disbelief.

“The fuck did she just do? Fuck,” I whisper softly.

“She’s in the hospital uce if you wanna go see her, look I know you and her are going through a rough patch but I can see how you be looking her like you don’t want her,” he said as I gave him a stern look trying to deny the fact that I was not crushing over her.

“You don’t even be around Jaida anymore, all you be worried about is Remiyah, don’t deny it uce because I know you like what kind of person takes a girl on dates? Dick her down good, spoiling her rotten,” was he wrong? I mean did spoil her a lot more than I do with Jaida especially when it came to taking her out on dates.

I got up from the bench grabbing my phone and my keys while heading out towards my car until I heard Jimmy say something, “Yo! Where you going?” I went inside of my car before speaking.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be back,” I said while backing out the driveway heading straight towards the hospital to see Remiyah.

On my way to the hospital to visit her, I decided to make a quick detour to the store to pick up some red roses, her favorite flowers. I can't quite explain why I felt compelled to get them; it was just an instinct. I never imagined that she would be in such a dark place, contemplating ending her life because of me. I shared my feelings with her, but I never anticipated this reaction.

I noticed a message from Jaida pop up on my screen via iMessage, clearly indicating she had reached out. However, I chose not to reply at that moment because I was behind the wheel.

Jaida😘: Baby wya?

Don't misunderstand me; Jaida is great and all, but there's something about Remiyah that resonates with me on a deeper level. I can't quite put my finger on it, but she has this captivating aura that draws me in. What are you even thinking, Joshua? You truly care for Jaida, right?

I successfully arrived at the hospital, parked my car in the lot, and switched off the engine. As I stepped out, I picked up the flowers from the front seat and made my way into the building.

Upon entering the hospital, I made my way to the reception desk, eager to find Remiyah. There was an undeniable urgency within me; I needed to see her, if only to reassure myself that she was alright.

“Hello, Sir, how can I help you?” The recipient lady asked.

“Yes, I’m looking for Remiyah Harris is she in this building I’m her boyfriend,” I said feeling uneasy when I had said that.

“Oh, yes she is on the second floor down the hallway when you turn to your left in room 289 sir,” she said as I nodded my head thanking her in the process.

As I approached the elevators, eagerly anticipating their arrival, I took a moment to reply to Jaida's message.

Zaddy🤍: I’m at the store rn baby I’ll see you when I get home aight?

Jaida😘: okay daddy see you when you get here

As the elevator doors slid open, I stepped inside and pressed the button for the second floor. As the doors began to close, I leaned back against the wall, lost in thought. What could have driven her to this decision? She has a promising career ahead and is undoubtedly well put together. It just doesn’t add up.

Remiyah is a force to be reckoned with; she has a clear understanding of her values and desires in life, unlike even Jaida, who seems uncertain. What has shaped her into this determined individual? As the elevator doors chimed open, I made my way down the hallway, taking a left turn.

I finally arrived at her room, pausing to take a deep breath before I knocked on the door. Just then, I heard a soft voice say, “come in,” from the other side. I opened the door to find her sprawled on the bed, seemingly engrossed in whatever was playing on the TV.

My heart ached as I took in her battered state; she was covered in bruises and looked so fragile. Her eyes widened in surprise at my arrival, yet she remained silent, unable to find the words.

I noticed her flinch as I approached, even before I had the chance to present her with the flowers she adored. Realizing this, I gently placed the bouquet on the nearby counter and then took a seat in the chair right beside her.

She clears her throat beginning to say something, “T-thank you for the flowers, they’re my favorite,” she said while giving me a faint smile.

“I know that’s why I got them, but how are you feeling?” I asked her.

I can’t express how much it hurts to see her like this. She mentioned she’s in pain, dealing with a broken rib, a bruised nose, and a head injury. Despite everything, she’s on the mend, but witnessing her struggle truly breaks my heart.

I managed to interlock her fingers within mine causing her to look at me, “I’m sorry if I’m the reason you’re up in this hospital mama,” I apologized while rubbing my thumb against the palm of her hand which she shook her head.

"It's alright, Jey. I've realized that I'm not the type of girl you're looking for, and that's perfectly fine. I've experienced this situation before, so it's not unfamiliar to me," she explained. I was left puzzled by her words; what did she mean by having gone through this before?

“What do you mean?”

Remiyah let out a heavy sigh, “What I mean is that I’ve never felt like I was enough for a man to want something serious with me. This has been the case in all my past relationships, including what we have now. So don’t worry, Jey; your feelings are valid.” My feelings?

My emotions are in turmoil. I had no idea she had faced such struggles before, and it truly hurt to learn that she felt inadequate. The truth is, she has always been more than enough for me from the very first moment I saw her. Her presence, her energy, and the gentle way she speaks captivated me completely.

Her graceful stride and the confidence she exuded were qualities I deeply desired. I yearned for her, though I struggled to acknowledge it within myself. As I gently pressed a kiss onto her palm, I noticed the surprise flicker across her face. “Don’t do that, Jey. I don’t want to be a fool falling for your tricks again,” Remiyah replied.

I could see her perspective clearly; it all stemmed from my own foolishness and my failure to appreciate what was right in front of me. Jaida simply couldn’t offer me the same things that Remiyah always did. Rising from the chair, I slipped off my shoes and made my way to the hospital bed beside her.

She appeared slightly confused when I made the move, but she carefully shifted over, being cautious not to hurt herself further with her broken rib. As I draped the blanket over us, I gently pulled her closer, resting her head on my chest.

There’s a serene peace that washes over me whenever she’s near; her presence effortlessly lights up my world. Could it be that I’m developing feelings for her? Perhaps my twin brother was onto something with his observations. As I looked at her, I noticed her eyes glued to the television, completely unaware of the admiration I held for her captivating beauty.

My phone was buzzing incessantly in my pocket, so I took it out to find messages from Jimmy and Jaida. Unsure of what excuse to fabricate, I opted to check what Jimmy needed.

IMESSAGE

Twin🩸: where yo’ ass at? Jaida over here trippin!

Twin🩸: she’s crashing out uce

Jey🩸: I’m with Remiyah at the moment tryna figure some shit out

Twin🩸: figure some shit out? Like what? Are you just comforting her bc you feel bad or something? Tf goin on?

Jey🩸: something doesn’t seem right about how I am feeling

Twin🩸: is it bc of what I told you before you left?

Jey🩸: yeah but I’m figuring out now just tell Jaida to go home aight?

Twin🩸: she ain’t gonna listen to me unless you say something uce

Jey🩸: tell her I said to take her ass home I’ll handle her later please

Twin🩸: aight aight I’ll tell her

I let out a heavy sigh, my fingers pressing against my temple in frustration. It’s exhausting to manage Jaida’s neediness whenever I’m away or unable to give her my undivided attention.

I set my phone down on the table beside the hospital bed, my gaze meeting Remiyah's innocent eyes. In that moment, her serene expression washed away my frustration over Jaida, bringing me a sense of calm I desperately needed.

“You okay?” Remiyah asked as I nodded my head boring into her delicate eyes.

"I'm alright, just handling a few things," I replied, and she acknowledged me with a nod, choosing not to pursue the topic further. For a brief moment, her gaze drifted elsewhere, but I gently cupped her chin, guiding her eyes back to mine.

At first, it took her by surprise, but she held my gaze. I found myself glancing at her lips before returning to her captivating eyes. It felt as if I were under a spell, completely mesmerized by her beauty. What was happening to me?

I moved in closer, my nose gently grazing hers as she remained perfectly still. I could sense her breath quickening, and in that moment, I pressed my lips softly against hers.

She hesitated at first, not immediately returning my kiss. But as I gently gripped her throat, drawing her closer, she finally melted into the moment. Our lips met with an intensity that ignited a fire between us, my tongue dancing with hers as her hands tangled in my mullet, craving every bit of this passionate connection.

“Fuck,” Remiyah muttered.

I could sense a rush of excitement coursing through me, and despite the undeniable attraction I felt, I knew I had to maintain my composure in her presence. There was something uniquely electrifying about this moment, something in the atmosphere that made being near her feel entirely different from before.

I sensed her rising onto her knees, moving closer to my lap as my hand instinctively found its way to her hips. "Watch out for your ribs, mama," I whispered softly.

She pulled away from me gazing into my eyes, “I’m okay Jey I promise, what’s goin with you?”

I found myself in a whirlwind of emotions, kissing her as if she were the love of my life. It was confusing, yet I couldn't resist; she was simply flawless, even more so than Jaida.

I remained silent as I drew her in for another kiss, one that was filled with longing and desire. My hands gripped her hips tightly, and I pressed my body against hers, making sure she could sense the intensity of my need for her. This kind of passion was something I had never experienced with Jaida.

I was deeply concerned about her, especially with one of her ribs broken, yet she was pulling at my hair as if this was exactly what she desired. “J-Jey, what do you want? W-we can’t be d-doing this,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

I was lost in the moment, ignoring her words as I pressed my lips against hers, then trailed soft, lingering kisses down her neck. Something felt different within me; it wasn't just desire I felt, but a deeper longing for her that I couldn't quite understand.

I sensed her distancing herself from me, yet I clung to her tightly, unwilling to let her slip away. "Jey! What do you want?" she exclaimed, forcefully shoving me aside.

“I’m not going to be playing these fucking games with you! When don’t even know what the hell you want!”

I felt a surge of frustration as she continued to raise her voice, fully aware that it would only escalate the situation. “Miyah…” I said, locking my gaze with her warm brown eyes, “please lower your tone when you talk to me.” Despite my plea, Remiyah ignored my request, and I could feel my patience wearing thin with this girl.

Remiyah yelled, her voice filled with frustration and hurt. "You stroll in here pretending to care about me, yet you pull stunts like this! Is it any wonder I'm stuck in this hospital? I’ll never be good enough for you!" She winced, a sharp pain shooting through her rib cage.

I rubbed my face with my hands, striving to maintain my composure. She was mistaken; she had always been more than enough for me. I noticed Remiyah's eyes welling up with tears as she attempted to rise from my lap gently, being cautious not to hurt herself.

She rose from the bed, gripping her rib cage as she reached for the medication resting in a cup. My gaze was fixed on her every action. Remiyah took two pills from her prescribed medication and washed them down with a sip of water.

Remiyah let out a deep sigh, expressing her frustration. “I can’t believe I’ve been foolish enough to think you might actually love me or want something meaningful with me. But I get it; it’s fine,” she admitted.

“It’s not like that Remiyah,” I said as she looked confused.

She stood there, arms crossed tightly over her chest, eagerly awaiting my response. "So, Jey, what’s it really like?" she asked, her curiosity palpable.

To be truthful, I was completely unaware of what I was truly feeling. My emotions and thoughts were chaotic, much like the aftermath of her car accident that landed us in this situation, which deeply troubled me.

I rose from the bed and made my way toward her, her eyes fixed on my every move. At 6'2", my stature loomed over her petite frame as she looked up at me, and I gently grasped her chin.

“It’s just something bout’ you I can’t get out of my head mama, I don’t know what it is but idk if im ready for it,” I confessed as I seen her unfolding her arms.

"What are you afraid of? You know I would never harm you, Jey," she said, pressing against my strong arms and wrapping her arms around my waist—she was truly going to drive me wild.

"I understand you wouldn’t, Remiyah. You’re truly a wonderful girl, genuinely good at heart, but…" my words started to falter as I met her innocent gaze.

"I’m not prepared for that level of commitment right now, especially after my marriage. My relationship with Jaida happened by chance; I wasn’t seeking anything serious. But then there’s you, Miyah…damn." Jimmy was right; I’m starting to fall for you without even noticing it. But the question remains: am I truly ready for this kind of commitment?

Remiyah listened to me with such focus, a quality I admired from the moment we first met. I shifted my hand from her chin to her hips, while she tenderly placed her small hands on my face, gently caressing my salt-and-pepper beard with her thumb.

She rose onto her tiptoes, gently kissing my lips with tender pecks that I eagerly returned before she stepped back, leaving a smile on my face. “I’ll be here for you, papa. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

“I know mama…I know, you for real gonna wait on me?” I asked just to be certain.

"Absolutely, I'm ready to wait for you." It's incredible how dedicated she is, especially considering everything I've put her through. I can't help but think that Jaida wouldn't have shown the same loyalty; she likely would have moved on and found someone else.

I gently pressed my lips against hers, looking down at her petite figure as she spoke once more, "Just don’t leave me hanging, waiting for you. I can’t handle much more of this, Joshua." I nodded, fully grasping the depth of her emotions.

“A’ight then little mama,” I said as she smiled at me her smile was so pretty what am I going to do.

OMNISCIENT

Jey had been at the hospital with Remiyah for a while, and as the evening wore on, he felt it was time to return home. However, Remiyah's reluctance to let him go revealed her affectionate side, which Jey found utterly charming. Her clinginess was a sweet reminder of their bond, making it hard for him to walk away.

As he drove into his driveway, the sight of Jaida’s car parked there filled him with dread—what was she going to be upset about this time? Jey stepped out of the car, the sound of his keys clinking in his pocket, and made his way to the front door.

He heard the door creak open and turned to find Jaida standing there, arms crossed and a fierce expression on her face. Ignoring her, he brushed past her and tossed his keys onto the desk before heading into the kitchen to grab a drink.

Jey propped himself against the kitchen counter, sipping his drink as he observed her furiously slam the door and march toward him with determination. "Where the fuck was you at?” She questioned him.

“I told you I was at the store,” He said rolling his eyes at her.

“You were at the store all night? That’s bullshit Jey and you know it, you were with that bitch Remiyah,” Jey chose not to mention it to her, as it was undeniable that he found solace in his time with Remiyah, a stark contrast to the turmoil he experienced with Jaida.

Jey set his drink on the counter, crossing his arms as he did so. “and if I was what does that have to do with you Jaida? I don’t question about your whereabouts,” Jey shot back looking into her eyes nonchalantly.

Jaida rolled her eyes and nudged him gently, “We’re in this together, Jey! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Jey felt overwhelmed by her words; he wished he had chosen to stay with Remiyah at the hospital instead of facing this confrontation.

He took a sip of his drink as he walked by her, ignoring her furious accusations about his involvement with Remiyah and the lies about where he had been. Unfazed, he continued his ascent up the stairs to their shared bedroom, determined to tune out the chaos behind him.

“Do you hear me talking to you!”

“Jaida! Please shut the hell up! Damn, so what if I’m spending time with Remiyah she was in a damn car accident I had to make sure she was alright damn,” Jey shouted while running his fingers through his face feeling frustrated.

Jaida fell silent, unaware that the unfortunate girl had been in an accident. Nevertheless, that didn’t alter the reality that he would remain by her side for the rest of the day until nightfall. In a moment of resignation, she raised her hands in defeat, choosing to abandon the argument, as she simply lacked the time and energy to continue.

Jey finally breathed a sigh of relief, enjoying the rare moment of tranquility. In his state of calm, he completely overlooked the message from Remiyah. Once he managed to handle everything else, he resolved to reply to her.

IMESSAGE

Rem💋: Hey, I was checking in to see if you made it home safely

Jey🫶🏽: Yeah, I made it home but I might come back over there

Rem💋: why? Did something happen?

Jey🫶🏽: you can say something like that, she over here trippin about me spending time with you 🙄

Rem💋: Yikes, she sounds like a handful

Jey🫶🏽: you okay little mama?

Rem💋: I’m okay Jey just eating me some dinner before I get ready for bed for tonight

Jey🫶🏽: I miss you already

Rem💋: come back then if you miss me so much

Jey🫶🏽: hell I might if she keep bitchin fr mama

Rem💋: well when the doctor come in I’ll let her know that I have someone coming if you do show up.

Jey🫶🏽: aight mamas ttyl

Rem💋: ttyl 🫶🏽

Jey experienced a wave of relief as he sent a message to Remiyah, appreciating the unique way she showed her care and comfort. Unlike Jaida, who constantly questioned him and his activities, Remiyah's approach felt genuine and understanding, making him feel truly valued.

He could hear Jaida on the phone, venting to one of her friends about how he had been out all day with Remiyah. With a deep sigh, he stripped off his clothes and made his way to the shower.

He finished his shower and could still hear Jaida voicing her frustrations on the phone. Choosing to slip into some cozy clothes, he made his way downstairs, only to find Jaida still engrossed in her conversation, completely oblivious to his presence.

He strolled by her, slipping on his shoes and snatching his keys, which drew her gaze. “Where the hell you goin’ now? Hello! Nigga do you not hear me talking to you? Hold on girl,” Jey remained silent as he walked out the door, not uttering a single word to her.

He climbed into his car and turned on the engine, just as he noticed Jaida stepping out of the house barefoot, looking wild and unpredictable. It was a scene he had no desire to confront, especially with her now pounding on his car window.

He exited the driveway, heading straight for the hospital to be by Remiyah's side, leaving Jaida in a state of shock. Frustration washed over him; dealing with Jaida was exhausting and overwhelming.

He was determined to avoid any distractions this time; all he wanted was to be with Remiyah. She was the only one who could soothe his restless spirit and provide the comfort he craved in moments of turmoil.

He realized that Jaida wasn’t the girl he wanted but Remiyah was the girl he needed.

Jey successfully arrived at the hospital parking lot, shutting off his car as he prepared to enter the building. Approaching the receptionist, he informed her that he was there to see Remiyah, confidently making his way to the designated area.

As Jey made his way down the hallway to the left, the elevators chimed open. He knocked on Remiyah’s door, but there was no response. Curiosity piqued, he turned the handle and stepped inside, finding the room shrouded in darkness, save for a dim light flickering in the corner.

He noticed the TV was still on, so he picked up the remote beside her and turned it off. Carefully, he slipped off his shoes and set them down next to the bed. Without disturbing her, he climbed into bed beside her, placing his phone gently on the nightstand.

“J-Jey…?” Remiyah mumbled in her sleep.

He nestled close to her in bed, gently pressing his lips against hers while softly calming her with soothing whispers.

“Go back to sleep mama, get some rest,” He said pulling her closer to his body.

His phone started vibrating incessantly, prompting a deep sigh as he reached for it, noticing a flurry of unread messages from Jaida.

Jaida😘 sent 5 messages

Jaida😘: where the fuck did you go?

Jaida😘: I know you didn’t just go over there with her

Jaida😘: you know that she isn’t better than me Jey you fucking know it

Jaida😘: when you come back home we need to have a chat

Jaida😘: I hate you nigga

Jey sighed in exasperation at her message, choosing to leave it unanswered as he set his phone down on the table. He felt Remiyah stir gently in her sleep and adjusted himself in the hospital bed, ensuring she was snug against his chest. With a tender touch, he traced soothing circles on her back, hoping to bring her comfort.

He shut his eyes, embracing a wave of comfort as he released the stress accumulated from dealing with Jaida's nonsense throughout the evening, allowing himself to gently drift off into a peaceful sleep.

A/n: Jaida trippin fr fr but I hope yall enjoy this part lmk in the comments below.

STAY UCEY.

[berfgrimm]

staring at the sun | choi seunghyun (t.o.p) x reader

pairing: choi seunghyun (t.o.p) x f!reader

warnings: smut, fluff, sneaking around, hair pulling, pet names, dirty talk, a smidge of self doubt sprinkled around.

note: this is my take on combining a few requests i got, because i got inspired from a couple of edits i saw on tiktok and listening to a tvotr song. i tried writing this a little differently than I normally write, and i had this vision of ‘deleted or extended scenes’ of certain moments described here, which is something i’ve never done before. maybe it’s silly, but if you guys like this then I’ll expand on those scenes and give you some more from this story’s universe. also don’t chat to me about this being pink hair era, it is my favorite so maybe I’ll be writing about it the most. so what. anyway, enjoy!

———————

The first time you kissed Seunghyun was an accident — well, maybe not an accident, because he intended to kiss you, but it certainly was unexpected. It was in the middle of one of the band’s performances when the boys stepped off the stage for a brief break in between songs, and as a stagehand, you were responsible for the hydration of Seunghyun that night. You waited for him at the stage exit, two bottles of water in your hands and a welcoming smile on your face.

When he walked towards you, there was a frenzied look in his eyes; not panicked, but more energized, wired from the show. As much as he likes to keep a stoic demeanor about him during most performances, you know he adores what he does. It brings him a joy that you seldom see in people, and it makes you both jealous and grateful that he’s able to feel such satisfaction — he deserves it.

Seunghyun had a determined walk that night to go along with his intensity, like he couldn’t wait to get off of the stage because he had to do something. You held the bottles towards him as he neared, smiling still. He stopped too close to you, that was the first thing you noticed. You didn’t have a problem with him being in your personal space, not in the general sense of the word anyway. It was more of a disadvantage, maybe a hindrance — you couldn’t operate at 100% with him that close.

It would happen each time Seunghyun even brushed you as he tried to walk by, or when he gave you the friendliest of touches. Your skin would flush, your breath would catch in your throat, and you’d find it hard to even speak. That night was no different, if possible, it was even worse. Not only was he standing in your space, you could feel the heat radiating off of him, he was so close.

“How is it?” he asked, taking a water from your grasp and twisting the cap off. He threw his head back to take a large glug of water; you couldn’t help but fixate on the sweat on his skin, and his throat as he swallowed. Your mouth went dry at the sight. “Well?” You hadn’t realized he was finished with the bottle and was focused on you again, a faint grin on his lips. You couldn’t answer him, your words were caught in your throat and the more he stared at you, the worse it got.

That’s when he leaned towards you, stooping just enough to dip his head closer. The moment felt almost cinematic. The buzz from the fans that still cheered on the other side of the curtain, the bright lights that shone from every direction, the way he paused just before his lips met yours. When you let out a shuddered breath and leaned closer to him, Seunghyun took the hint, and closed the distance between you.

The kiss was soft and quick, just a peck, before he pulled back to look into your eyes. You don’t remember what face you made in response, but it was enough for Seunghyun to place his hand on your hip, gently pushing you backwards until your back hit a wall. You were out of view of anyone who would have walked by, secluded yet surrounded by thousands of people. This time when he kissed you, he was pressed against you harder, more intensely.

He didn’t kiss you like he was frantic, or he needed it, but instead like he was curious, almost scientific. He admitted later that he was nervous but you didn’t get that sense at the time. He didn’t even act like he enjoyed it, and before you knew it, the kiss was done and he was needed back on stage. He took the other water bottle from your hand and was gone before you uttered a word. You were confused to say the least.

Seunghyun didn’t talk to you about it afterwards. The band had another show the following night, and when you stood in the same spot, two more bottles in your hands, you were nervous. As he walked in your direction, you were certain you’d pass out from the way your heart pounded in your chest, but thankfully, your feet were firmly planted.

This time, when he reached you, Seunghyun once again drank a whole bottle of water before planting another kiss on your lips. Since it was a different venue than the night before, the secluded space you shared was no longer an option. Instead, he backed you against a stack of trunks, one hand on your hip to pin you in place.

In the moment, you weren’t sure if it was some sort of fantasy that your brain was making you believe was reality. There’s no way that this highly sought after man would be kissing you in private during his shows. It didn’t make sense. But the kiss was different this time, as he slipped his tongue into your mouth to deepen it briefly. Before you could fully enjoy the kiss, it was over again, and he left you standing alone in seclusion.

That was the start of a tradition. Each night, during their very brief intermission, Seunghyun would meet you backstage and hide behind anything nearby so you could kiss. It was sneaky and clandestine, and it gave you a knot in your stomach each time.

It took you until the fifth night for you to put your hands on him — both hands set simply on his hips; until then, you’d stayed still, too worried that if you tried to touch him, it would spoil the moment. Seunghyun told you later that he felt the same way, overthinking the moments and thinking that if he touched you too much or said anything about it, you wouldn’t want to kiss him anymore.

By the eighth night of kissing in secret, you felt something switch inside of you, and when you put your hands on his hips, you slid them up his body, feeling the heat of his skin under his sweat soaked shirt. You vividly recall the way you could feel his heart pounding as you pressed your hands flat against his chest. He responded by wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

That night, when Seunghyun pulled away from you, that same switch inside of you drove you to grab his belt buckle and pull him in for one last quick kiss. As your lips were connecting, you could see a very small amused smirk on Seunghyun’s lips — at least he wasn’t mad.

Two weeks of kissing and gentle, explorative touching backstage at concerts. Away from your secret rendezvous, you had initially not treated each other any differently; friendly, joking, cordial. But at the end of week two, you started to notice the looks Seunghyun would give you when no one else was looking, along with the way he seemed to linger in your personal space. That made you more nervous than the kissing did.

“Why do you stare at me when the guys aren’t looking?” you asked him one night while he was kissing you. It made him stop altogether, peering into your eyes breathlessly. You were momentarily worried that you’d spoiled it by asking, as neither of you spoke during these moments before. It took him a few seconds of thought before he could answer, during which your eyes didn’t leave his face.

“I want to kiss you all the time,” he admitted. “I think about it whenever you’re around. Sometimes when you’re not.” You blushed, not expecting the softness and candor in his response. “This is my favorite part of each night,” he added.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you asked. Seunghyun nodded, staring directly at your mouth as he waited for you to continue. “I really like doing this in secret,” you began, feeling your nerves spread through your whole body. “It’s sexy.”

You’d never forget the glint in his eyes when you said it, excited and something almost devious. You wished you could have a picture of the way he looked at you, but it ingrained itself in your memory anyway. He looked like he was overcome with desire, for you.

The signal for him to return to stage came far too soon after that. He didn’t get to truly respond to what you had said, but he told you later that it was all he could think about for the rest of the night. You agreed with him, remembering the way that you trembled with excitement at what could come of the conversation.

The next night of the tour something changed. It wasn’t ideal to say the least. One of the other stagehands said they wanted to switch positions, and of course, your manager agreed to the change. You didn’t have time to tell Seunghyun of the change ahead of time, but you still tried to make yourself visible when he exited the stage.

The obvious look of disappointment and confusion on his face would have been funny if you didn’t feel the same way. He had glanced beyond the other stagehand to where you stood, mindlessly rolling up some cables, staring directly at him. He changed the look on his face quickly, shifting back to the stoic persona he usually presented, and acted as though nothing was wrong.

Later that night, after the show ended, you wandered through the corridors of the venue, making sure all of the leftover equipment had been gathered. You were so focused on the task, you didn’t hear Seunghyun sneaking up behind you, so you let out a surprised yelp when he grabbed you and pulled you into a nearby utility closet.

It was pitch black in the room, but you could tell it was him. His breathing, his smell, his energy, it was all around you and as you felt the warmth of his body closing in on you, all you could do was throw your arms around his neck to pull him in.

It was the first time he touched you. Like really touched you. You didn’t miss the slight tremble in his hand as it slid up your stomach, stopping just as his fingertips touched your breast. His hesitancy to not cross a line is what made you feel empowered; you took hold of his hand that barely teased your breast and dragged just a little higher to press his palm against you. He took the hint and wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing gently.

“I hated not being able to kiss you earlier,” he admitted, kissing your cheek as he held you close.

“I got reassigned.”

“I’ll take care of that.”

The way Seunghyun said it, without a single shred of uncertainty, because he knew whatever he would say to the team would happen…the power that he had…

You kissed him again, so worked up with excitement, you bit his lip. Not too hard, but enough to make him chuckle into your mouth. You didn't realize right away, not until he let out a moan, but your hand had worked its way down to touch him through his pants. You worried for a moment that you crossed a line but he was already getting hard before you touched him.

“Is this how you want our first time to be?” Seunghyun asked, kissing your neck as he ground himself against your hand. “In a utility closet? In the dark?”

“You can have me wherever you want me.”

“But you love the secrecy,” he teased. “You love hiding but you love the thought of being caught. You love being my secret, don’t you, princess?”

“I do,” you admitted. Seunghyun let out a soft gasp, a little rumble of that deep voice, as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“You’re a good girl,” he said, gently. “But we don’t have time to do this here.” You were disappointed, of course, but you knew he was right. You had a job to do and it would be suspicious for him to be missing for too long. “We have two days off of the tour next week,” he continued. “In Melbourne. We’ll get a hotel.”

“Okay,” you replied, breathless from excitement.

“I’ll make sure you’re back in your regular assignment, as well,” he added. “I won’t be able to handle not kissing you for a week. I love being able to see you like that every night.”

You’d never expected Seunghyun to be so open to admit what could be perceived as weakness. He always came across very closed off, and protective of his emotions around most people apart from his fellow bandmates — even then, he didn’t seem quite as open.

The next several days seemed to drag on forever as you waited to have alone time with Seunghyun. Still, you had your stolen glances and private make out sessions every night, each kiss more desperate than the last, hands moving heavier with more determination.

The last show before the two day break, Seunghyun unbuttoned your jeans and began to slide his hand into your panties. You tensed, and he froze, panic spreading across his face, thinking he crossed a line. You stared into each other’s eyes and his hand stayed just barely past the elastic of your panties, unsure of what to do. You nodded slowly to give him permission to continue, and then you lowered your gaze to watch between your bodies as his hand traveled deeper into your panties.

You could recall that first sensation when his fingers, surprisingly cold, gently touched your folds. He didn’t tease you, no, there wasn’t enough time and you were so close to your hotel date so he wouldn’t do it just yet. Instead he made sure his fingers were wet with your juices before he pulled back, sliding his fingers into his mouth as he kept his gaze on you.

You worried you’d faint from the sight of him savoring your taste, but he gave you a wink, and headed back to the stage before you had the opportunity to even respond. Seunghyun told you later that he could taste you on his lips and tongue for the rest of the show, and that he had to focus not to get hard in front of everyone. You told him that you could feel his cold, soft fingers touching you for the rest of the night, and that you would let him fuck you on stage if that was what he wanted to do. He blushed but you could tell he definitely envisioned it.

You weren’t sure what to expect when it came to being alone in a hotel with Seunghyun, so your mind came up with hundreds of different scenarios that could potentially play out. During your secret rendezvous with him, he was tender for the most part, with the occasional moment of audacity like when he touched you between your thighs.

The first time you had sex with Seunghyun was gentle, the kind of thing you feel like you’d read in a romance novel. There wasn’t a lot of talking apart from the occasional soft whispers of encouragement from him, but your head was too foggy for you to even think of anything else to do except breathe and whimper. You would have been embarrassed by how composed he was compared to you, but you knew he wouldn’t want you to think that way.

You stayed tangled together in bed for what felt like hours after, telling stories of your lives and dreams for the future. As you listened to him open up to you, telling you about all of his hopes and dreams and demons, all you wanted was to kiss him and hold him for the rest of your life. But maybe that wasn’t what he wanted from you.

“Is this it?” you asked him, trying to make your voice stronger than you felt. “After today, are we back to the way things were?”

“Is that what you want?”

“No, not at all,” you said, earnestly.

“Neither do I.”

Things changed from that moment onward, the start of your relationship with Seunghyun. You both agreed that it would be best to keep it between the two of you as long as you could, not ready to deal with the attention of his fans or his bandmates. Beyond that, sneaking around was still so fucking hot.

Once, Taeyang almost caught you. The group had a performance at an award show in Japan that your team wasn't required for. After several days of rehearsals and fittings during which you spent no time together, you finally found a brief moment, maybe ten minutes of time, where Seunghyun wasn’t being pulled in a million different directions. He gave you a quick nod towards the bathrooms, and you knew what he was suggesting.

It was an individual bathroom, no stalls. You snuck inside first, staying at the far side of the room to wait for him to join you. Only a few minutes went by before he finally entered the room, hurriedly locking the door and moving towards you.

“I missed you,” he breathed, crashing his lips into yours for a kiss that he clearly had been waiting too long for. You grabbed his hips and pulled him against you, longing to feel his body again. “Being around you and not being able to touch you like I want to,” he began, kissing along your neck. “Drives me crazy. I don’t know how I’ll manage the next few days not being able to see you.”

You slid your hand to the back of his head, your fingers threading through his short hair, to guide him to a spot on your neck that you love when he kisses. His hands grabbed your sides hard, pinning you to the wall and keeping you in place to grind himself against you.

“Don’t get too worked up,” you warned. “We won’t have time for me to get you off, baby. And I’ve been wanting it so bad, I’ve been dreaming about it. You can’t leave me hungry for you like that.” Seunghyun bit your neck, sucking harder on your skin, clearly trying to leave a mark. “Are you trying to claim me?” you asked, tugging on his hair to get a groan from him. “You want them to see that I already belong to someone?”

“I want you to remember it,” he muttered against your skin. “When I can’t be with you in the next few days, I want you to look in the mirror and see this mark so you’ll remember the way that only I know how to make you feel.”

That was the first time he showed his possessive side, and you were elated. You wanted to return the favor, maybe scratch up his back or his chest to give him something to think about while you weren’t near him but you worried that would be the fastest way to get caught. Sure, Seunghyun seldom showed much skin to anyone, but you knew that his friends enjoyed teasing and pranking one another, which has previously included sneaking pictures of one another while in compromising situations — like in the shower.

The knock on the bathroom door scared you both, and Taeyang’s voice made you even more terrified. All you could do was stare at one another with panic in your eyes.

“Hey, man, we have to leave soon for the next fitting,” Tae called out, knocking again. “Then to the airport for the flight.”

“Okay,” Seunghyun replied, hoping it would be sufficient.

“Are you alright?” came Tae’s response, and she shook the door handle as if he wanted to get in the room. “You sound odd.”

“Be out in a minute.” Seunghyun sounded as irritated as he looked, but thankfully, Tae took the hint and you heard his footsteps retreating. Seunghyun put his hands on the wall on either side of you, looking at you, discouraged. “Text me every time you think of me,” he said. “Especially if it’s dirty.”

“That will be a lot of messages,” you admitted, which made him grin.

“You think about me that much?” he inquired and you nodded, transfixed on his mouth. “Good. Give me details, so I know what my girl daydreams of me doing to her. I’ll miss you.” You make sure to give him another kiss, knowing you won’t see him for several days. “Stay here for a minute after I leave,” he directed. “I’ll make sure no one is around.”

Seunghyun exited first, casually to not draw attention. You counted to thirty before you made your exit, thankfully no one was in sight to be any the wiser.

You sent him fifteen texts that day, which was showing a tremendous amount of restraint compared to how frequently you actually thought of him. Your mind was almost entirely on him from the moment he left your side: sweet thoughts of how you’d love to hold his hand and walk through a market together, tender thoughts of kissing endlessly in his bed, filthy thoughts that you refused to elaborate on via text message but you made sure he knew you needed him in every imaginable way.

That night was the first time you had phone sex with Seunghyun. You couldn’t make it twenty four hours without each other. The sound of Seunghyun trying to keep his moans to a reasonable volume to not get caught by his bandmates in the next room was something you’d think about forever; you wished you could record the sound in your mind and play it whenever you wanted. The slightly static and muffled distortion of his voice coming through the phone somehow made his voice deeper, and when he told you what he would have done to you if you were there with him that night, you switched to a video call so he could watch you touch yourself.

You slowly found out about each other’s kinks. He liked watching you touch yourself because if anyone knew what you liked the most, it would be you. He also liked being called ‘baby’, and having his hair pulled. You told him you liked being more submissive, and you especially enjoyed dirty talk. He said he liked lingerie, the lacy kind, and he ended up buying you three different sets to wear for him. Though you were most nervous to admit this one, and you tried to avoid it altogether, you told him the contact lenses and costume for ‘Bae Bae’ were sexy.

“I’ll wear them for you one day,” he promised. “But you’d better be a dirty girl for me if I do, princess.” You tried to hide your excitement and embarrassment, but Seunghyun saw it immediately. “I love when you get shy,” he smirked, stealing a gentle kiss.

“I love everything you do,” you responded.

The first time you both actually said ‘I love you’ was during one of the intermissions about two months after you started your relationship. You both admitted later that you felt it much earlier on than that, but didn’t want to pressure the other.

Seunghyun said it first. The roles were slightly reversed from usual, as he was the one pressed back against the wall with your hands touching his body over his shirt. Your mouth was leaving a wet trail of kisses along his sharp jawline, tasting the sweat on his skin. His hands were on your backside, pulling you against him hard, letting you work your magic on him.

“I love you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss below your ear then resting his head against yours. You stopped kissing his neck, staying in place, breathing slowly as you let the words sink in. “Is that okay?” he questioned, his hands shifting to your hips now, rubbing soothingly.

“More than okay,” you whispered, nudging your head against his gently. “I love you, too.”

Seunghyun let out a small, excited yell in response to your words, roughly wrapping his arms around you and spinning you both in a circle. You laughed along with him holding on tight as he got out his excited response.

“I knew it, princess. You can’t get enough of me.”

“That’s funny, coming from you,” you retorted, playfully shoving him against the wall again and standing in front of him, both of your hands pressed to his chest. “I’m so fucking in love with you,” you whispered, wistfully.

Seunghyun gave you one last passionate kiss before he had to go back onto the stage. He told you later he felt like it was the best performance he ever gave because he couldn’t stop thinking about how much love was in your eyes when you looked at him.

When Jiyong almost caught you, it was enough to cause you and Seunghyun to have a conversation about the future of your relationship. It was after a show, when Daesung asked you to join the guys and a few others to go to a club. Ordinarily, you would have refused as you didn’t spend a lot of time clubbing, but when you glanced past Daesung towards Seunghyun, you noticed the hopeful look on his face — so you agreed. Maybe the night would give you an opportunity to dance with Seunghyun.

What you hadn’t thought of, however, was what happened a couple of hours before, during your intermission make out session. You decided to tempt Seunghyun, just a little bit, and you wore a skirt. You knew immediately that it worked, because his hands were under your skirt, groping your thighs, as soon as his body touched yours.

The issue was that you had slipped your panties off and handed them to him just before he went back on stage; hot pink panties from a set he had bought. You could see the surprise on his face initially, but his expression changed to something different, more intense. He shoved the clothing into the pocket of his jacket, swooping back towards you for another kiss before he went back to the stage. He told you later that it was one of the sexiest things you ever did, and that he tried to think of a way to do something similar for you, but he didn’t think handing you his briefs would have the same impact.

Fast forward to the club, when Seunghyun took his jacket off and draped it over his seat, only to have your panties fall from his pocket to the floor. Neither of you noticed it until Jiyong spoke.

“Lose something?” he laughed.

“Huh?” Seunghyun asked, prompting Jiyong to point to the clothing on the floor. Your heart leapt to your throat and you were thankful that the lights were low in the club so no one could see the look of shock and embarrassment on your face.

“Pink to match your hair, is that it?” Jiyong teases, taking a sip of his drink. Seunghyun scooped the panties up from the ground, stuffing them into the pocket of his pants this time.

“Caught them on stage,” he explained casually, sitting down again.

“And you decided to carry them with you after you changed clothes,” Jiyong continued, a smirk on his lips as he watched Seunghyun for any signs of deception.

“You don’t have to act so jealous because you didn’t catch any,” Seunghyun responded, a sly smirk on his lips. Jiyong laughed at his friend’s response.

“That’s a shame — I thought you’d finally found someone willing to put up with all of your quirks.” Seunghyun didn’t need to respond, and he told you later that if he didn’t relent when he did, Jiyong would have kept pushing until he figured out your secret.

The best moment of the night was dancing with Seunghyun. Even when you were just friends, you didn’t share a dance together, so you weren’t aware of how good it felt to slow dance and grind with him. To make sure no suspicions were raised, you danced with the others as well, and even though Seunghyun agreed it would be a good idea, you could tell he hated to watch it happen.

Later that night, Seunghyun sent you a video of him, a little tipsy from the drinks that night, and a little frustrated from the lack of time spent with you. He spoke deeper than normal, trying to avoid being heard by anyone through the walls.

“I didn’t like their hands on you,” he muttered. “Touching you like they had the right. It makes me crazy not being able to touch you when I want, princess.” He sounded needy in a way you hadn’t heard from him before, and it made you wish he was with you in your room right then.

It wasn’t until the next day that you had a few moments to spare together where Seunghyun asked you if you were serious about him. You were frustrated with the question at first until you realized why he was asking: you two were getting closer to being caught, and he wanted to save you from the relentless teasing and jokes you’d be subjected to once the others found out. You told him you didn’t care and you loved him, so that was all that mattered. You’d enjoy sneaking around while you still could.

The first time you played a prank on him wasn’t your choice. Daesung and Jiyong talked you into it, because they knew that Seunghyun would expect strange behavior from them during a prank war. You were an objective third party as far as they knew, and you thought going along with their plan would be the best way to keep the heat off of you.

You didn’t think it was a great idea because you knew how much Seunghyun didn’t enjoy showing off his body, but Daesung convinced you to steal Seunghyun’s clothes while he was in the shower. You agreed, and before you knew it, you found yourself sneaking into the shower room in search of his clothes. Until he caught you, all of his clothes bunched up in your hands while he stood opposite you with a towel around his waist.

“You turned on me, princess?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips. “You joined their team?”

“It’s just…for fun,” you explained, cheeks flushing.

“Are you blushing because you’ve been caught or because you want me to drop the towel?” He stalked towards you, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to run away or run closer. “Both?” he smirked.

“Maybe a little,” you mumbled.

“Take the clothes,” he nodded, finally in front of you. “I’ll make a big scene about it, don’t worry. But tonight, I want you to come by my hotel room, and you can pay me back.” He stole a quick kiss from you before gently shoving you in the direction of the exit.

You both acted perfectly together, convincing the other guys that you had pranked him. They laughed uncontrollably as Seunghyun cursed them for talking you into a stupid prank war. After you finally relented and returned his clothes, he spared a quick glance to the others to make sure they weren’t looking when he whispered in your ear.

“My room later,” he said. “You owe me.”

He got you off four times that night before he let you relax. It was a new record for both of you.

The next day was the first time one of the guys suggested Seunghyun ask you out. You weren’t around when it happened, working elsewhere in the arena setting up for the rehearsal, but Seunghyun was practically giddy when he told you later.

From Seunghyun’s retelling of the conversation, Tae was the first to bring it up, mentioning that he could see a spark between the two of you at the club. Jiyong agreed but Daesung mentioned that he felt he had more of a chance with you than Seunghyun did.

“Dae would be my second choice,” you joked with Seunghyun, and thankfully, he laughed in response.

According to Seunghyun, he played the whole thing as casually as possible. At first he denied that there was any sort of spark between you, and then he allowed his friends to make him see it. Still, he shrugged it off, saying he didn’t have time for a relationship. By the end of the conversation, he seemingly dissuaded them of the notion altogether.

“I don’t think I’m ready to tell them,” he admitted. “It’s fun sneaking around, and I’m happy being private. Besides, that’s one step closer to the rest of the world finding out. I don’t want you to face them until you’re ready.”

It was sweet how he wanted to protect you, but you felt in a certain part of your mind that maybe he wasn’t ready to tell the world because he wasn’t proud of you. It was a silly notion, and you knew from the way he looked at you that he would do anything for you, just as you would for him. Still, you couldn’t help but hear that small whisper of doubt if you thought too hard about your relationship.

The whisper got softer, and eight months into your still secret relationship with Seunghyun, you couldn’t hear it at all anymore. The tour had ended and you were able to spend more time together without as much worry of being caught. You spent most of your days in his apartment, sometimes yours, watching movies together or staying in bed. You were sometimes treated to the sight of Seunghyun at his desk, writing new music; you think those were your favorite days.

It all brings you to this moment right now. You’re tangled up in the sheets of Seunghyun’s bed, on your back with your hips at the edge, while he’s knelt on the floor with his head between your legs. He has your thighs spread wide for him, pinned down against the bed so he can get at you without issue.

“Fuck, baby,” you moan, fisting his hair to hold him in place where he sucks on your clit. “That feels so good, please don’t stop.”

“Mhm,” he hums against you, and you’re sure you can feel him smirking. He thrusts his fingers into you faster, sensing that you’re close from the way you’re squeezing and grinding against him. “Good girl,” he breathed into you. “Come for me, baby.”

Every time Seunghyun makes you come, it feels better than the last. Your body trembles and you moan out his name so much and so hard, you feel like you’ll lose your voice. This time is no different, and you ride out each and every wave of your orgasm, then dropping back into the sheets, panting.

“I’ll never get tired of the way that sounds,” Seunghyun says, licking the taste of you from his lips and fingers. “You, calling my name, breathing like you’re desperate for air. You’re so beautiful.” You reach towards him, cupping his face with both hands and urging him closer to you. He grins up at you, climbing on top of you on the bed to kiss you passionately.

You’re both so lost in the feeling of one another you don’t hear the front door of the apartment open, and you didn’t hear your friends talking idly while they changed their shoes in the entryway. If you had overheard them, you would have had more time to cover yourselves up or even hide before they entered the bedroom.

“Oh, damn!” Jiyong exclaims, laughing. “I’m sorry!” He covers his eyes and turns from the doorway, but is quickly joined by his two other bandmates who are hurrying to peer into the room.

“No way!” Daesung laughs.

“I knew it,” Tae laughs.

“Fucking go!” Seunghyun yells, pointing at them with one hand as he tries to help you cover yourself with a sheet. “Have some respect!” The other three men almost fall over one another as they scramble from the room, still in a fit of excited laughter. “I’m so sorry,” Seunghyun says, softly, as he turns to check on you. “Are you okay? I didn’t know they were coming over.”

“It’s okay,” you nod, your cheeks still flushed in embarrassment. “I guess the truth is out now.”

“So much for privacy,” he chuckles, grasping your jaw tenderly and pulling you towards him for a kiss. “I’m sorry, princess. If you go get cleaned up, I’ll talk to those idiots, and try to calm them down before you come out there.”

“Okay,” you smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he replies. You smile, tossing the blanket from your body and moving to stand up from the bed. “Wait,” Seunghyun says, catching your hips, and pulling you to stand in front of where he sits on the edge of the bed. “I’m not upset that they know. I’ll miss sneaking around because it was sexy…but at least we can be open about it. And we can start moving you in here tomorrow.”

“That’s how you ask me to move in with you?” you chuckle, putting your hands on his shoulders.

“You love it here,” he responds, one of his hands slipping between your thighs, touching your still wet and tender folds. “I‘ll be able to touch you anytime you want me to. And we both know…you always want me to touch you.”

“Mmm,” you hum, closing your eyes and letting out a soft sigh. “Maybe. But I’m not going to let you finger me while your friends are in the other room.” Seunghyun laughs, removing his hand from between your legs and making sure you look at him before he slips his fingers into his mouth to clean them.

“Go clean up,” he commands, gesturing to the bathroom. “If I get them to leave before you’re out, I’m coming in there and fucking you in the shower.” You laugh, playfully slapping his shoulder.

“Don’t make a promise that you don’t intend to keep.”

“Oh, you doubt me?” he laughs. “Now I’ll have them out of here in sixty seconds, so you’d better be in that shower waiting for me. Or else you’ll be in trouble.” You wish you could identify what it was about Seunghyun threatening you like this that set your inside alight with arousal, but you figure that’s an internal conversation for another time. “Go now,” he says, smacking you on your backside. “Be a good girl and listen to what I told you.”

As you enter the bathroom, you feel an excitement radiating through you unlike you’d felt before at the thought of being in a relationship with Seunghyun. Now that the truth is out, the possibilities are endless. And the likelihood of Seunghyun keeping his promise to meet you in the bathroom is now a certainty as he stands in the doorway, thirty seconds faster than he had predicted.

[fruitlicense]

As a Jewish physicist, I love thinking about science and religion! God is harder to pin down for me, but I like to conceptualize God as a sort of consciousness to the Universe, or maybe the force that kicked it off. I’ve taken university lectures covering everything from intro-level kinematics (forces and motion) to cosmology and quantum mechanics. I know at least the basics of the leading theories on how the Universe started, formed, and evolved. I know how we think scientifically about the smallest things in the Universe and the largest structures we know to exist. Science explains a whole lot about the world around us, and it’s an invaluable tool for understanding. There’s also a lot that we still don’t understand, and some things we’re incapable of understanding by virtue of the laws of physics. Think of the Big Bang - that is where our best math points, what models our Universe most accurately with the tools we have, and yet we’ll never be able to image it, even with the strongest telescopes imaginable, because light couldn’t travel the Universe until it had cooled off to a certain temperature. We’ll never know what the beginning of the Universe looked like, but every day we search for more proof to back that math up.

I like to see God at the edges of our understanding, where we question things most. Maybe we’ll find understanding someday, maybe we won’t, but there’s something divine in both the understanding and the acceptance of not knowing for sure. Maybe God is just the fact that everything exists. Maybe God is the act of questioning and searching for the truth of the world. Maybe God was never here and the divine is in hoping that someone’s looking out for us anyway even without evidence.

I think it helps that I don’t take the Torah super literally, because I think it holds more importance as cultural memory and instructions for how to live a good life, told through history-adjacent allegory and law, than as a literal, 100% accurate history book. The Torah was written by people, and people will never get anything perfectly right. They may even write down stories that are fully fabricated! But it’s inspired by God in the sense that we want to make someone proud of us. We want to live well and treat the Universe around us with respect. We want to keep records and write down our memories and teach the next generations what we know. Why would that ever be incompatible with science?

One thing I wish more people understood is that being religious and believing in science are not mutually exclusive.

Throughout all of recorded human history, including over the course the last century, some of the most important scientific advancements came from religious people and religiously funded institutions. Often it was Jews and Muslims leading the charge of scientific progress, but despite what you might think: it was also Christians and Catholics (both separately and alongside each other).

An example of these contributions (though there are many more) is that in Medieval Europe, erroneously referred to as "the dark ages", the Church heavily funded scientific research; in fact, they were one of the only bodies in the region that had the kind of money to put into something like science on a major scale.

The idea they are two things that cannot coexist comes from the "enlightenment", and then later Victorian era, which sought to frame people in that past as inherently stupid and inferior.

More recently, a trend towards fundamentalism and anti-science rhetoric, found on the fringes of many religions, is used by antitheists to reflect poorly on religious people as a whole. The many more religious people who are able to make science syncretic with their religious beliefs just aren't deemed interesting enough to make the news or entertaining enough for a non-religious audience to challenge in debates.

Atheism is not more compatible with science than theistic belief is.

[joeyalohadream]

Last Line Tag

Thank you @swifty-fox , @stars-remain2 , and @donotnomi for tagging meee! 💕

Apologies for being MIA a bit. Life has been life-ing, I am incapable lately of saying no and setting boundaries with my managers and now I have some kind of flu and ugh. But I'm home and writing today and tomorrow so chapter four of Let your heart be light is hopefully coming tomorrow!

My nerves are fraying with my attempt to write anything explicit (apologies if it's awful), but I'm trying because it's important for Gale and John's relationship and the story. Bear with me as it's taking me longer than usual because writing anything like this is new to me.

--

Stupidly, Gale thinks of gravity as John’s hands slide down his back and settle on his waist. His skin is warm under the touch and he can’t contain the whine he lets out against John’s lips as the other man pulls him into his lap with a slight twist and flex of his body.

It took no effort, like the gravity left the room. Expect this feels like gravity. Like there’s some physical force pulling him into John.

Gale’s read enough books to know that the more mass an object has, the more gravity it contains. And his hands can’t stop roaming over John’s broad chest and down the planes of his soft stomach, back up over the breadth of his shoulders.

John’s big everywhere. His body, his smile, his personality, his charm, his sincerity and his care.

He shifts forward, feels how affected John is by all of this, just as hard as Gale is in his sleep pants, and he rocks forward again, swallowing John’s groan even as he flushes all the way down his chest at the confirmation that John really is big everywhere.

Large palms flutter over his waist, up his back, fingertips trailing up his spine and back down, leaving goosebumps in their wake when paired with the way John’s warm tongue curls gently against his own.

It feels too good.

He never wants to stop kissing him.

Can’t believe how good it feels to be held like this.

His breathing stutters as John rocks up into him. But then John’s slowing them down, tongue retreating, lips pressing soft strokes against his swollen lips and then nudging his nose with own.

“I knew it.”

Gale’s eyes flutter open at the words, at the break in the silence. He’s so hard he feels like he could come just from the feel of John’s breath on his cheek.

“Knew what?” He sighs, not surprised by how breathy his question comes out. His thighs are trembling and the ache in his hip is such a distant afterthought it might as well not be real.

John’s hand flex and tighten where they’re resting around his waist. “Knew my hands would feel good here.”

“It does feel good,” Gale lets out, heat creeping up his neck. But John’s eyes go all squinty and soft at his words and he pulls Gale forward until their hips are flush. It sends a shock through him and he buries his face in John’s neck to hide the sound it draws out of him.

“Don’t hide, sweetheart,” John voice rumbles against his chest.

But Gale shakes his head, keeps his face pressed close and mouths at the sweaty skin of John’s throat and starts to rock his hips, no rhythm to it, just pleasure as his cock strains to get to John’s.

“Oh, god, Gale.” John moans, head tilting back as Gale tongues at his pulse point and keeps moving his hips.

He feels a bit delirious, a little floaty. But so good he can’t stop.

[boldchaoswhite]

𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐒𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐂𝐬

Hellos! Back at it again with some love for my Sebastian peoples! If you looking for the Ominis Gaunt HCs they here! Divider by: @adornedwithlight Enjoy!

In General:

Sebastian is the kind of person who would stand by you through thick and thin. He’s the first to defend you, whether it's against unfair professors, or judgmental peers.

He has a protective streak, but it's never overbearing. He trusts his partner to hold their own but always keeps an eye out, just in case.

Sebastian loves teasing you, especially when he knows it’ll make you smile. If you’re ever feeling down, he’ll pull out all the stops—bad jokes, exaggerated impressions of classmates, or silly faces behind Professor Sharp’s or any teacher's back.

Seeing you excel at something makes Sebastian absolutely beam with pride. Whether it’s a flawless potion, a jaw-dropping spell, or a perfect score in flying class, he’s your number one cheerleader.

He’s definitely the type to brag about you to anyone who’ll listen: “Did you see them out there? Absolutely brilliant!”

Sebastian thrives on a little friendly competition. He adores dueling with you, always pushing you to test your limits while trying (and sometimes failing) not to hold back.

If he loses, he’s a good sport—but he’ll definitely want a rematch. “Best two out of three, love?”

He loves little gestures, like sneaking you notes with charming scribbles or leaving flowers on your desk before class. He’ll deny it was him, but his smirk gives him away.

He’s a big fan of cozy library dates where you both “study,” though it often turns into him whispering stories and making excuses to lean closer to you.

Exploring the Forbidden Forest or sneaking into restricted areas of Hogwarts becomes ten times more fun with you. 

Despite his playful nature, Sebastian opens up deeply with you. He appreciates your ability to listen and offer advice, especially when he talks about his family or the struggles he faces.

 If someone compliments how well you two complement each other, he’ll beam and say, “That’s us—a dynamic duo.”

He’s the type to memorize all the little details about you—your favorite places, the way you take your tea, or the way your face lights up at certain spells. He uses this knowledge to make you feel special daily.

Sebastian finds it exciting and endearing when you take the reins, whether it’s planning a date, initiating a duel, or calling him out on his antics. He’d grin and say, “I don’t mind letting you take charge…this time.”

He’s fiercely proud of your accomplishments and doesn’t hold back in bragging about you to anyone who’ll listen.

If anyone speaks ill of you, he’s the first to step in, protective and fiery. He’s loyal to a fault and refuses to let anyone disrespect you.

Like him, you’d also have a protective instinct when it comes to his well-being, especially if he's putting himself in dangerous situations or not taking care of himself.

If you two ever argue, he’ll pace and brood for a while but always returns with an apology, doing whatever it takes to make things right.

Sebastian spends a good chunk of time agonizing over how to make it up to you. Should he bring you a gift? Write a letter? Apologize in person? He debates every option and inevitably decides he just needs to see you.

He’ll try his best not to make the same mistake twice. He knows his pride and impulsiveness can get the better of him, but he’s determined to grow for you.

Sebastian is the definition of a physical touch person. Whether it’s casual or intentional, he loves to be close to you in every way possible.

He’ll rest his chin on your shoulder while you’re reading or writing.

If you’re sitting on a couch or the grass, his head is absolutely in your lap. Bonus points if you play with his hair—it’s his favorite thing.

Loves putting an arm around your waist when standing near you, a quiet way of saying, “You’re mine.”

Constantly reaching for your hand (even if it’s just to hold it for a second while walking side by side.)

Sebastian has absolutely no shame when it comes to reaching over and snagging a bite of your meal or treat.

He grins at you with a playful “What? You weren’t going to finish it, were you?” even if you were clearly mid-bite

However, he’s the type to offer you the last bite of his food as a peace offering. He acts like it’s no big deal, but it secretly melts his heart when you accept it.

If you’re lounging together, Sebastian will drape himself over you like a blanket. He doesn’t care if it’s practical, he just wants to be close to you.

He’s the type to grumble if you need to get up for anything: “No, no, you’re not allowed to move. I’m comfortable.”

Whether it's a hand on his arm, a kiss on his cheek, or you curling up next to him on the couch, Sebastian loves it. He craves the closeness, even if he doesn’t always show it.

When he’s tired, Sebastian becomes even more affectionate, mumbling soft compliments into your ear and pulling you closer.

Sebastian has a knack for knowing your favorite treats and often sneaks some your way during breaks or after classes.

You’d tease him playfully, calling him out on his pride or over-the-top gestures, but you always make sure to remind him that you love him exactly as he is.

(Okie random little visual thing from a movie, remember that scene from Little Woman (2019) when Laurie gets Jo a drink of alcohol and he stands in front of her to make sure she isnt seen. That scene SCREAMS Sebastian to me…honestly multiple scenes in that movie reminds me of Sebastian.)

When Sebastian is jealous, at first, he tries to play it cool, but his body language gives him away. His jaw tightens, his arms cross, and his gaze sharpens a bit as he watches the situation unfold.

He’ll quietly assess the person causing his jealousy, as if measuring up to them. He’s confident, but he still wants to know what he’s “up against.”

He’ll turn up the charm and make sure you’re reminded of why he’s your guy. Whether it’s showcasing his talents in a duel, cracking a clever joke, or casually slipping an arm around your waist, he’s subtly saying, “They can’t compete with me.”

He’s fiercely loyal, and jealousy brings out his protective side. If someone is making you uncomfortable, he’s quick to step in.

While jealousy might spark a reaction, Sebastian would never try to control or stifle you. He respects you too much for that and trusts you deeply, even if he’s wary of others.

If you’re scared or shaken, he’ll soften completely. He’ll hold your face in his hands, his thumb brushing away any tears, and speak to you in a soothing voice.

He won’t leave your side, staying close enough that you can feel his warmth, as if his presence alone can protect you from anything else.

If you’re sick, Sebastian transforms into the most doting and attentive caretaker you could ask for. His usual mischievous energy is channeled into making sure you’re comfortable, well-cared for, and maybe even a little spoiled.

The moment he notices you're feeling unwell, he’s there, asking you if you need anything, his voice laced with worry. “What’s wrong? How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

Sebastian, despite his usual fierce nature, would likely try to make you a comforting meal or brew a healing potion. He may not be the best cook, but he’s definitely trying his best!

If he’s really stressed about you being sick, he might get a little moody, but only because he hates seeing you in pain. (Sulky Seb is funny to me XD)

You’d always be there for him, supporting him through his battles, whether it’s his internal struggles or external challenges.

You'd understand that he sometimes hides his vulnerability and encourage him to open up, assuring him it’s okay to lean on you.

You’d also be quite empathetic, recognizing when he’s bottling up his emotions or struggling internally. You’d always be there to gently coax him into talking about his feelings, ensuring he knows you’re not going anywhere.

You enjoy the playful side of your relationship with him, and it brings out a more lighthearted side of both of you.

Nicknames:

Sebastian has a talent for coming up with affectionate nicknames.

Love: His go-to when he’s feeling soft and romantic.

Sweetheart: Reserved for when he’s trying to comfort or cheer you up.

Starlight: A nod to your brilliance, whether in academics, magic, or just how much you light up his life.

Boss: When you take charge or get your way, he’ll smirk and say, “Alright, boss, what’s next?”

Shortcake: If you’re shorter than him, he’ll use this teasingly. Bonus points if you’re feisty about it.

Minx: If you’ve managed to outwit or distract him, he’ll say this with a smirk and a glint in his eye.

Princess/Prince: If he’s doting on you or spoiling you, he’ll call you this, sometimes sarcastically, sometimes genuinely.

My Dove: Reserved for private moments, when he’s feeling especially tender.

The Better Half: He’ll use this jokingly, but you can hear the sincerity in his voice.

Snacker: If he catches you sneaking food between classes, he’ll say this every time.

Firefly: If you’re glowing with excitement or passion about something, he’ll call you this.

Big FEELS:

When everything goes quiet and his thoughts are left to swirl around the painful memories, that’s when he can’t keep the walls up anymore. There are nights when he simply breaks down, overwhelmed by emotions he tries so hard to keep in check.

Even if he was completely alone, he’d try to stifle his sobs, not wanting to admit just how much he’s hurting inside. His tears would come in soft, quiet bursts, and sometimes it feels like he’s trying to “cry it out” in silence.

Sebastian would never admit that he needs comfort or help. He might brush off your concern with a quick joke or a sarcastic comment. But when you reach out to comfort him, to offer him a hug or just a hand to hold, it would be the thing that breaks him down.

There’s a part of him that’s convinced he doesn’t deserve to be happy. He’s made mistakes, and the weight of those mistakes hangs over him. His guilt is constant, and there are nights when it’s so overwhelming that he can’t ignore it anymore. Even if he’s surrounded by friends or loved ones, a deep, gnawing voice tells him that he’s unworthy of their care.

Slowly, he’ll let himself be vulnerable in front of you. He might not be able to speak the words at first, but his actions will show that he’s starting to trust you with the parts of him that scare him the most. He’ll allow you to hold him, touch him, and be there for him in a way that he’s never let anyone before.

He won’t ever want you to pity him, but knowing that you accept him fully—imperfections and all—will be something that deeply touches him.

When the pain of missing Anne becomes too overwhelming, Sebastian often withdraws into himself. He might go silent, retreating into his own thoughts, distancing himself from everything around him. His pride won’t allow him to show how deeply affected he is, so he’ll keep everything to himself, even if it’s slowly eating at him.

When the silence gets too much, he’ll be the type to walk around the castle at night, trying to clear his head, but it’s always there…

The guilt he feels over not being able to protect Anne, especially when her condition worsens, is crushing. He constantly blames himself for not finding a way to cure her, not being strong enough to stop whatever happened. Even though he tries to push these thoughts away, they linger, festering in the back of his mind.

On the surface, Sebastian might act like he’s fine, but inside, he’s constantly at war with himself. He’s angry at the world for being so unfair, at himself for being helpless, and at the helplessness he feels every time he looks at Anne’s condition.

He is short-tempered or moody, especially when people ask about his sister or bring up anything remotely related to her.

Sebastian doesn’t need words to feel comforted. When he misses Anne, he needs quiet reassurance. He needs someone who will just be there with him, not forcing him to talk but offering a presence that lets him feel understood.

If you’re aware that he’s struggling with the weight of missing Anne, you might find ways to show him you’re there without pushing him too hard. Maybe you sit beside him in silence, offering a gentle touch or a soft hand on his back, allowing him to lean into you if he needs to. 

 You might tell him, “I’m here. Whenever you need me.” It’s a simple statement, but to him, it’s a promise that someone will always be by his side.

Despite how much he misses Anne and how emotionally vulnerable he feels, Sebastian’s instinct to protect those he cares about is powerful. If you notice that he’s struggling or offering more intense gestures of affection or protectiveness, he’s silently asking for your patience.

like as last time i said: If I think of more ill post them here, hope you enjoyed! Love you all~! If you looking for the Ominis Gaunt HCs they here!

[deluxewhump]

hey! Im pretty sure you don't write any more zee content ( it's probably one of my favourites! ) but i was curious if you'll ever write any drabbles or so.

Or just give an opinion, because i saw some prompts list with the usual pet whumpee meets someone they used to know before they were conditioned. So, what if Z2 ( Post frat house ) met someone he knew before his "training" ? how would he react, who would it be and how would it happen?

just a random thing i thought of, because Zee's story is the best pet whump I've got to read, and it's a trope im very fond of. So.. yeah.

Ohh well I’ve said before that I think in this heavily institutionalized universe, the company would make sure to relocate their boxies to avoid this kind of thing. But even though that makes a chance encounter unlikely, it’s not impossible. I think if it happened early on, he might actually not recognize the person who recognized him. He was in a constant state of mental and physical distress then, including wru’s many tactics. Even if he did recognize them, he’d just be upset at the situation unfolding, and want it to go away. He knows he is effectively serving a sentence, it’s all legal, there’s nothing anyone can do, please don’t draw undue attention to him. Plus he would always be around people who would take control of the situation. “Nah bro I think you’re confused, that’s just our little Z2.” (A brother giving the person a big fake fuck-off smile and ruffling Zee’s hair roughly, pulling him away from that person like end-of-story)

If it was afterwards though, like you asked, I think Zee would not only recognize the person depending on how well he remembers them but be able to play it off. If they had a lot of questions, or were acting like they were seeing a ghost, he’d just make up vague stuff on the spot and be friendly but kind of act like he’s in a hurry too, and leave that person disoriented that they just ran into their ex classmate/friend from four states over who dropped off the face of the earth three years ago and there’s nothing but tons of rumors about why or where. If Alex was there he’d play along, say hello, be polite. Cam would say nothing even if it made the whole thing more weird and uncomfortable.

[fangdokja]

Woahhh. Your page is very pretty! Very aesthetically pleasing. That must have taken a lot of energy and effort.

Your writing is also soo mind stimulating. I'm flabbergasted 💕.

Your blog deserves to look as good as your writing—here's how to do it.

❤︎ Synopsis. Discover quick and easy tips to elevate your Tumblr blog and fic aesthetics with cohesive designs, color coding, and formatting tricks—consider this your warm-up for the ultimate design guide!

♡ Book. Ink & Insight (I&I): From Dead Dove to Daydreams.

♡ Word Count. 2,237

♡ Series. The Aesthetic Tumblr Blog Starter Pack - Part 1

♡ Banner's Story. Trust no one. Not even yourself.

♡ A/N. Actually, it's "casual"; but it's full of tutorials on how to achieve stuff like the picture below (and more), especially when designing your blog and fics. I only called it casual because it's not really formally organized like my usual. I literally typed all of this while I'm in a meeting, haha. Anyways, I'll show you how I design my blog and content.

designs + gradient texts + banner images like this: I love my Daddy Dom husband.

OK! START!

Aw, thank you, Anon. That’s the first time someone has commented about the aesthetics on the page. Thank you :)) And, yeahhh. Bro. You have no idea. Of course, the page didn’t always look like that.

I’m also glad you love the writing. I’m curious about which one’s your favorite so far, or what stories you like haha. It’s always interesting to see what content attracts people in general, just plain curious. But no pressure in answering though, just have fun and relax here. That’s all I want for you, Readers. Yes, even if it’s the erotic horror books and stories haha.

Glad to have flabbergasted you. Haha. Now! Story time! Since, I always like to reply as comprehensive as possible to each of your efforts in commenting, reblogging, or even just reading. I’m extremely thankful for the support :))

Actually, even the older stories in “A Heart Devoured” looked different aesthetically before. I experimented with a lot of things in this blog, even aesthetically.

Force of habit, but when I really enjoy something, I get into it full force. I’m usually lazy and such haha. But I can write like 7+ hours without breaks at all. Yes, even food and sleep. Would not recommend though.

My husband takes care of me usually. When I get “hyper focused”, I really have this mental space to just keep writing (or working in general). As long as I have fun, I can really commit to it whatever time of day. Though… of course, when adrenaline runs out, I get really tired after. But nothing that can’t be fixed.

Anyways. Back to the topic at hand.

Tumblr blog recommendations. If you want to start your own blog in general.

Based on general research and experience (e.g. searching top fanfics or posts), it solidifies that Tumblr really is heavy on visual content. It’s why art and short form, easily consumed, content does better here.

Usually, fanfics not as much. Again. My mindset (and the truth) is that Tumblr is a very VISUAL platform.

So, I made the effort to create pictures, and see in both in the phone and laptop on how it looks. Phone especially, since most users scroll on mobile. Convenient and easily accessible.

Anyways. I guess “business mindset”? I don’t know. Weird.

But, I always look at statistics, especially before. It’s something measurable and to see if there's more I can improve on in general. Aside from the fact people LOVE smut, and anything sex in Tumblr.

Until now, unfortunately, I don't know what post will blow up or not. To be completely honest. It's like sometimes I think this work is shiz (e.g. the recent Yandere! Nerd story), and that's doing extremely well. I'm shocked. Other times, stories that I think would do well didn't do as well in terms of stats.

So, honestly, I don't know how the system works. I'm still learning the ropes as well. Technically I know how it goes about, but on what content actually does well?

Well, even word count sometimes doesn't come into play. The Yandere! Ex-boyfriend story (could also low key because Gojo-like personality? idk)? That had a higher word count than average posts, at 9k words! But that story also did extremely well. That wasn't even a smut fanfic! I've posted drabbles and even 1k-2k (or even average 4k-5k) words stories and works that performed less than that.

In Tumblr, it's recommended to post shorter fics. The average for smut fics for instance is around 5k words, for example.

BUT. For some ODD reason. When it comes to my audience, you supportive Readers, it's like longer fics work better for you all jsfklfsdk. So, that's that...

At first, it would be good to experiment with anything from aesthetics to word count, beyond just your writing style and story content. That's what I did. Anything under the sun that I enjoyed, and by looking at top posts and seeing what they did.

I got a lot of aesthetic ideas from JJK smut fics. I don't read those haha. But my current formatting for fics? Those ideas were adapted from JJK smut fics, like this:

Do you want to know what's ironic? I don't read smut fics at all, like even back then. I tried it before, but the brain dead stuff wasn't working for me. If I were to read sex, it can't be the main point. Like my current writing style, there has to be plot, usually yandere non-con in general helped. Of course, never encountered a yandere author (or can't find any yet) that actually willingly kills the Reader or MC. It's due to circumstances or stresses at most, but never voluntary. No actual danger. Oh well. Rambled.

See the similarities in aesthetics for my work? It's pretty obvious, yeah? haha

These are the following similarities:

ALWAYS have a Banner image. Think of this like the cover page of your book, it has to be eye-catching and tell Readers a vibe of what's in the story. The rest of the design and text has to be color-coded with the banner image to create synergy and cohesiveness in design. Symmetry or concepts related to it makes your work appear neat. Yes, you have to consider this to add to your professionalism when presenting to your Readers.

ALWAYS have a Hook Statement. This isn't necessarily your fic's title, it's a single statement usually, concise and meant to incite interest among readers. Think of it like the first 3-5 seconds of a TikTok video or short-form videos. These hooks are meant to capture your interest straight away or you'll just scroll past.

ALWAYS have a Synopsis or summary of your content. This is especially needed for longer works or prose that are in traditional narrative forms. Gives a taste to the readers, so they know what they're getting into or before they commit.

ALWAYS have a Word Count. So your readers know what they're getting into. People are busy and have their own lives, some want to have a quick read of serotonin. Others are in a relaxed state and can afford to read long works. So, don't worry, your works will attract its readers naturally. Just be consistent in writing and posting. That's key. Show up even if you don't want to, if you really are committed to your blog and work.

ALWAYS have Trigger Warnings. As a Dead Dove author, it's a requirement for me to do so, especially for explicit works. It's not a weakness, it's respect to your readers. Also, it will help drive away people who get turned off or triggered by certain works. Don't make your life harder later, just be transparent now, so people don't annoy or send hate mail to you.

ALWAYS have a Divider. This was made by me, like majority of my graphic design works for my fics. This divider is simply to make your work more neat as well, and to VISUALLY show what people are getting into. It can both advertise your name, and also warn Readers if they don't read trigger warnings. Yes, some people don't bother with the details.

ALWAYS have "Ads". Yes, I technically advertise my other works. How? Through connecting the Masterlist link, the book where the work they're reading is located in. If they want to read more, they can read more "here". It's the equivalent of how social media recommends content that you may like. Look at the examples below, it's like that.

In these ASKS, I also link my works when casually chatting. And it works. Why do I ramble and do these Asks? It's not just to create a sense of community, but also to "advertise" my works. Look at this example ask.

The person talked about Paternal Privilege and commented on it, saying how the yandere is like this character from Love and Deepspace. So people who are interested in the game or have not heard about my work yet (like if you're a new reader and haven't read my old works), they can check out my work. See? I linked my work at the end. Yes, in each masterlist, I even "advertise". Can be annoying to others, but it does help spread awareness about my works in general. Every piece of interaction is cherished and crucial in building your audience.

This is an example of how what usual formatting looks like:

I also put author notes just for fun. This one isn't really a recommendation, but just for personal preferences. To communicate with readers about my writing processes and other matters or updates. But, again, it's just a personal thing.

Now, how do I make this? CANVA. This is how part of my workspace in Canva looks like:

Actually, for me, it's still kind of messy. I haven't fixed a lot of things yet for my work since I'm also busy. But this is a general idea.

I've been using Canva for years, even before it blew up. When it first came out, I've been using it already, so I've gotten a lot of practice with it. Though, I do use Canvas Teams; because I also use Canva for work, so a lot of features are available already to help me.

While working on my blog, I never considered myself a graphic designer even before my blog. But, to be honest, I ate my words again. My husband already said before I am also a graphic designer, not just an artist, so.... yeah.... I generally improved a lot more as well because I'm constantly churning out new content. Basically even if I think it's shiz, I still continue, post, work. Same concept with fics. Just keep working, even if you don't see it, with each work (even if it's unfinished), you're improving.

If you notice, I have 3 different covers for "World Ablaze." I had to repeat the finished product 3 times, because the cover was shiz compared to the others. And these weren't drafts. But, hey, got to use the other covers for my posts.

For Tumblr posts in general, I just pick two sizes and upscale it for higher image quality:

Tumblr Banner

Wattpad Book Cover

For the divider, it's 1350 x 80 px.

For my usual formatting in Tumblr banners, I usually go for this formatting. I just use grids on a new project:

And then choose the 4 picture grids, before looking at Pinterest and getting pictures.

I ALWAYS add filters, and upscale the image:

And, for texts, I just pick, usually gothic texts since it's my personal fav. I just substitute already preset design texts usually, just changing the actual text.

Like if you see "Recently Used", I just press the given text and place my title. Then, I do edit the "text effects" usually; mostly Neon so it pops out the title, since people usually use phones with smaller texts.

Just with those steps, I'm able to make covers like this:

♡ Ink & Insight. The writer's essential to fictional writing, no matter what genre you may be in. Though, if you're a dark content writer, then you're in for a treat.

And, for color coding texts. I use these two sites:

The uiGradients is for getting easy color codes to paste the code in the Fiddle. Then just paste the generated HTML code in your Tumblr post.

For the Fiddle, paste the color codes in the corresponding HTML line 3 and 4, where it says "first" and "last".

I picked a red color from uiGradients:

Then I paste it here:

Then, place your text or whatever title you want here:

Press run, and copy the text generated.

Then go to your Tumblr Post:

Change the "Text Editor" into HTML:

Switch to the HTML tab, then copy your text from the Fiddle:

It's supposed to be long, and that's fine. It's because of the gradient code required in the text:

Final Output looks like this:

I love my Daddy Dom husband.

Hope that was an easy tutorial to follow, haha.

Anyways.

Hope this post helps people! Whether you're a writing blog or another kind of blog, I hope these tips will help you! :))

P.S. As I'm writing this, I just realized something. I'm actually in a lecture for Brand Positioning. And, it actually fits well with this topic, haha. Is it obvious I come from business? hahahahah. Also I just realized, I have a lot to say on this topic.... huh.

[nothoughtsjustfic]

Thinking about: Nursery school teacher L.JH

💭Who: Lee Jihoon (Seventeen) x female reader 💭What: Humour. Fluff. Suggestive(18+). Established relationship. Nursery school teacher Jihoon. Single parent reader. 💭Word count: 1.9k 💭Warnings: Reader has a 5-year-old daughter. Wen Junhui is reader’s best friend and a menace. Yes, I want to point that out ahead of time. Reader is thirsty for her boyfriend and it’s very mutual. Some heavy kissing. Jihoon’s strength is mentioned as a point of interest for reader, and I just want to point that out because I think buffhoon needs a warning, okay. 💭Summary: “After almost five months, it’s time to tell your daughter that you’re in a relationship with her favourite teacher. You just hope it goes well.”

Minors do NOT interact, which means reblogging and/or commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio.

Masterlist - Read the prequel “Precious” here (coming soon)

A/N - this was originally supposed to be very different, but when I tried to write that I got carried away and it came out at almost 12k, so that will be out at some point in February, and it shows how reader and Jihoon get together! It’s both angsty and fluffy and I really hope you’ll look forward to that! I’ll add the link above when it’s released.

It feels like it’s taken both forever and no time at all for this day to come. Even though you and Jihoon have talked about it at every chance over the past few weeks, you don’t feel at all prepared.

“You’ve got this,” Junhui encourages as he too harshly massages your shoulders once he stands behind you, just to be annoying. You yelp and jerk out of his reach to turn and slap his arm while he snickers and lets you, knowing you’ll never truly hurt him, just like he won’t you, bony thumbs in your shoulders aside.

“Why are you even still here?” You ask, trying to nudge him out of the kitchen.

“Moral support.”

“Bullshit, you just want to eat my food.”

“It’s a symbiotic relationship; I bless you with my presence and you feed me your mediocre cooking.” He cracks up cackling as you return to slapping him and even kick his thigh for good measure. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! I taught you well!”

“Fuck off already,” you grumble and shove him away so that you can turn back to the pan and check on the progress of the contents.

“Fine, I can see when I’m not wanted,” your best friend retorts dramatically as he slinks out of the kitchen.

“Two decades too late!” Without even looking up, you just know that the man has backtracked to look at you from the doorway.

You’re proven right when you look up to see him peering at you from around the doorframe with dramatic puppy dog eyes and an exaggerated pout. “Don’t you wuv me?” He asks in an overly cutesy tone, making you fake a gag. He laughs and straightens up. “Later, loser.”

“Yeah, yeah, text me when you’re home.”

“You’re not, my mama!” He yells back, voice further away signalling he’s in the living room, which is confirmed when you hear him saying goodbye to your daughter with their usual prolonged farewell, including exchanging “I love you”sin multiple languages. Junhui doesn’t even know most of the languages, he just learned the phrases purely to tell your daughter he loves her in every way he can.

Your best friend is a strange, pain in your ass at the best of times, but you adore the everloving shit out of him, which only grew when your daughter came along, and he devoted himself to be the best uncle a little girl could ever want. Even though sometimes you say you wish he hadn’t taught her so many of his weird quirks and habits, you’re always genuinely so pleased to see your best friend in your daughter, and you hope their soul-deep bond never wavers.

When you hear the front door open minutes later, signalling that Junhui is leaving your apartment a whole half an hour later than he said he’d stay for, you hear him loudly and dramatically greeting your boyfriend.

“Juni! Guess who’s here!” Junhui sing-songs, followed by the patter of little feet before your daughter shrieks excitedly.

“Mr Lee!” She yells, and seconds later the door closes, though you hear Jihoon happily talking with Juni and a distinct lack of Junhui, proving that he’s finally gone and left you to handle this important dinner without him looming over your shoulder with a dumbass grin like a lanky, less stable Cheshire Cat.

“Smells good,” Jihoon comments as he enters the kitchen with Juni now somehow clinging to his back. You look over and smile at him in appreciation and greeting before focusing back on cooking, even if you want nothing more than to walk over and grab his precious face to plant the kiss on his lips that you’ve wanted to do since seeing him this morning at the drop off for Juni’s last day in his class.

“Mama maked your favourite!” Juni informs.

“Made,” Jihoon corrects gently and Juni hums and nods. “That’s very kind of her.”

“Yes,” Juni agrees. “You need to say thank you.”

“Ah, you’re right, I do,” Jihoon replies, amusement lacing his tone as he moves closer while effortlessly holding Juni up with only one hand under her backside.

You eye his arm with a squint, half sulking that he can so easily carry your daughter when it takes you both arms to achieve now that she’s getting bigger, but the other half of you is sulking because his usual work attire of casual yet smart, long-sleeved, button-up shirts hides his strong muscles from your gaze.

Jihoon says your name amusedly, making you look up at him instead of practically glaring at his sadly hidden, bulging bicep and find him smirking at you, well aware that you’re trying to burn away his shirt with your intense stare to get a look at your boyfriend’s strong arms.

Of course, he can’t say anything about it with your daughter literally attached to him and observing the pair of you in wait for Jihoon to show his appreciation for your thoughtfulness, so he just smirks around his words. “Thank you for making my favourite for dinner tonight, I appreciate the time and effort it takes to make, and I’ll eat it well.”

“You’re welcome, Jihoon,” you reply, purposely using his first name even though you usually call him Mr Lee in front of Juni so that she doesn’t gain the habit of calling him improperly at school.

As expected, it makes her perk up with a gasp. “Is that your real name, Mr Lee?!”

“Yeah, Nini, my name’s Jihoon, and now that I’m no longer your teacher, you can call me Jihoon when we’re not at school,” he answers and carefully swings her around from his back, with an unfair amount of ease, so that he can plop her backside on the counter in front of him.

“I have to say Mr Lee at school?”

“Yeah, even though Mr Kwon will be your teacher next year, I’m still a staff member and you have to call all staff by our surnames, don’t you.”

“Why?”

“It’s respect. We’re older and in charge of teaching and looking after you, so you should show your teachers and support staff respect.”

“Oh, otay,” she agrees simply and swings her legs a little as she looks over to watch what you’re doing. “When dinner ready, mama? I’m hungry.”

“Not long now, baby,” you promise. “You probably have time for another episode.”

“Yay!” Juni cheers and lifts her arms towards Jihoon, so he picks her up to place on her feet on the tiled flooring and lets her run off to the living room to watch another ten-minute episode of her current favourite show, even if you’re certain she’s already seen each one multiple times at this point.

Jihoon stands at the kitchen doorway to peer through to the living room and wait for Juni to be settled on the couch with her duck plushie, Bubba, in her arms and attention glued to the TV, before he stalks over to you and grabs your face to kiss you passionately.

You can’t help but whimper at the intensity of the kiss while eagerly going along with it, wrapping your arms around his neck as he backs you against the fridge with a firm grip on your hips.

It’s not a long kiss at all, yet you’re both panting when you pull apart and he knocks his forehead lightly against yours before settling there to catch his breath.

“Wanted to do that all fucking day,” he admits in a low murmur.

“I think you would’ve been fired if you kissed me like that on the playground,” you muse, earning a soft chuckle.

Jihoon presses a disarmingly sweet and short kiss to your tingling lips before letting go and backing up, making you pout disapprovingly. Of course, he notices and smirks at you teasingly. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Get your ass back here, Lee Jihoon,” you demand, pointing to the spot right in front of you.

“But dinner,” he gasps theatrically, and you think he’s been spending too much time with Junhui and Soonyoung aka Mr Kwon.

Who, apparently, Junhui once knew from his teen dance group and the pair have decided to rekindle their friendship full of dance and theatrics, which they use to tease yourself and Jihoon whenever the four of you get together while Juni is with her sweet as sugar best friend, Danil.

“It’s fine, come here,” you whine, trying to grab his shirt but he remains just out of arms reach and you don’t move your back away from the fridge.

Another dramatic gasp accompanies his next jibe, “But Juni is-” he cuts off with a yelp when you suddenly lean forward enough to grab a fistful of his shirt over his chest and yank him in. He stumbles into place in front of you and catches himself with his forearms on the fridge either side of your head.

“Shut the fuck up and kiss me.”

“So demanding,” he murmurs and slides one hand down the metal surface until he can fit his palm against your jaw before tilting his head forward to slot your lips together.

You keep one hand against his chest, feeling his contently thudding heart against your palm, as your other holds onto his waist and encourages him closer when his tongue swipes teasingly against your lips.

Of course, you don’t hesitate to return the gesture and let your tongues find each other to slide together and make him moan softly in approval and pleasure, causing the warmth beginning to fizzle under your skin to burn brighter.

Maybe Jihoon had been right, even if he had just been trying to wind you up and tease, as a sudden, loud gasp from the doorway sounds and alerts you to the fact that your daughter is suddenly present.

In an instant, the two of you pull apart and try to look like you weren’t just tongue deep in each other’s mouths as you face Juni.

You open your mouth to try to explain and tell her the news you were really hoping to be a post-dinner conversation, yet Juni beats you to the punch.

“Are you boyfriend-girlfriend?!” She shrieks.

“Uhm,” you respond eloquently, then look at Jihoon, who is already turning to look at you. You share a look with your boyfriend, silently deciding that you might as well just get it over with before you look at Juni and nod slightly. “Yeah.”

Juni stares at you with wide eyes for a moment before she excitedly yells then runs over to attach herself to you both at once while blabbering about being happy that you are finally boyfriend-girlfriend. You decide to tell her at a later point that you’ve actually been “boyfriend-girlfriend” with her previous teacher for four months already and dating for a few weeks before that.

You and Jihoon exchange a surprised yet pleased look at how easy this was and how enthusiastic your daughter is about your relationship, though silently just decide to accept this blessing for what it is and simply get to work setting up the table for dinner.

When everything is in place, you both sit down with Juni at the head of the table between you like always, while remaining wordlessly relieved that you don’t have to awkwardly explain exactly what you and Jihoon kissing means.

Before you can help Juni when she struggles to reach her cup, Jihoon silently reaches out to move it within her reach so that she can pick it up with both hands carefully.

“Thank you, daddy,” Juni says innocently, just as Jihoon takes some of his own drink into his mouth, making him promptly choke and spray the liquid over his plate in shock.

Okay, maybe you do need to explain it a bit, after all.

Don’t forget to reblog if you liked to help spread the story and let others read it too! And don't be shy to leave comments or send an ask so I can see your thoughts 🥺 💖

Permanent taglist: @okiedokrie, @tusswrites, @svtiddiess

[manias-wordcount]

Hi so I saw you write for legend of Zelda

Urbosa x male hylian knight reader

So could you do a short story during the age of calamity that while the champions were defeating ganon they got word that an army of monsters and yiga thousands strong was marching towards gerudo village and that it's only defense was urbosa's voe lover

And when urbosa and the champions arrive, they find not a single gerudo harmed and thousands of defeated enemies, and in the center of it all, a HEAVILY wounded, reader their shield broken and sword on the verge of shattering and when asked by a rightfully worried urbosa why they stood alone reader says while healers attend to him

"I swore the day we got together, on my sword and my soul I'd protect everything you love...and you love your people more than anything else..so i made sure not a single drop of gerudo blood stained the sands"

How would she react to this

Heavyweight (Urbosa x Male! Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗜 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗿𝗼. 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗵𝗲

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚!! 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗰, 𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱.

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 ���𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

Heavy. Your body feels so, so heavy.

You want to say that the pain is gone. You want to say that it has gone away- traveled to a different, more deserving person. That you never even knew what it was like to experience it in the first place. But that would be a lie. Because the pain? It’s still there. But it’s huddled under murky feelings of numbness and knowledge that you’re supposed to feel something else right there, but you just don’t. You just don’t. Not right now, at least.

But it’s hard to express that. It’s hard to share or say that. Because your body feels so, so heavy. And the person in front of you can’t seem to understand that as much as you want to answer her, you can’t. Because your tongue won’t work. Your lips won’t work. Your arms and legs are still there, but they won’t work. They only burn as sand rubs up against them. They only creak and groan in protest as you try to move them. They only hurt. They only exist to hurt. You only exist to hurt.

Because you’ve done all your other jobs. And you’ve done them well. But now, it’s time for you to pay the price. Still though…

“What did you do?” 

You absolutely hate to make her worry like this.

“What did you do?!” Urbosa’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife as her fingers dig into your shoulders. She’s kneeling before you. And if your mind was clearer and if her fear of you bleeding out right in front of her wasn’t very, very real at the moment, you both know you two would have done everything in your power to keep your composure. Especially in front of the troops that she leads. You can already see the blurry blend of faces as they lean into each other and whisper, faces half-hidden behind hands. This is a side of Urbosa that they have not seen before. This is a side of Urbosa that they have never needed to have seen before. But yet, here it was. “What did you do?!” 

Here it was being revealed for everyone and for all to see. All because of a man. All because of you.

You wish it hadn’t come to this. You wish you could have saved her the fear and the worry. You wish you could have been stronger and faster. You wish you could have fought harder and for longer. You wish you weren’t the reason she was breaking down in front of a group of her mightiest fighters, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes as she begs for an explanation- a reason why she found you all covered in blood with one foot in the grave. But you didn’t have that luxury. You couldn’t try to fix your positioning so you still sat up straight. You couldn’t try to move further away from the sacred city to at least avoid painting its historic walls red with your blood. In fact, you could do little more than hiss and groan as your love shook you awake every few seconds in order to keep you alive and working. 

“Tell me! Tell me, what did you do?!” 

But it’s just so heavy. 

You sword by your feet. The armor you eventually had to shed when it started to slow you down. The dead bodies you had to carry away from the walls of the village to ensure they wouldn’t get stained with such filth. Your head as you try to lift it to meet Urbosa’s eyes and ensure her that you’re fine, really, and that you were just trying to keep your promise to her. It’s all so heavy. It all weighs down on you. Makes your heart work harder. Makes your body move slower. Makes everything a lot more difficult than it needs to be. But you promised. You promised.

“I…”

So you had every intent to keep it. You had every intent to keep your promise. You owe it to her. You owe it to them.

“I swore…”You try to force something out. Anything, really. Just a response. That’s all you need. Just a response. And the words start off slow. They stumble around. They tumble around. They climb up your throat and refuse to jump off your tongue time and time again. But she’s counting on you. She needs you. She needs you to be okay. She needs you to answer her. She needs you. So you try again. With a voice that’s dry and cracks every other second. With a throat that aches from being choked and screaming out in pain and existing only to be part of you- part of your body that fights and battles and defends. You try again. “I swore…” 

“I swore…the day we got together…on my sword and my soul…”

She tries to say something. She tries to stop you. Tries to warn you against working so hard when you’re injured. Tries to warn you against making her heart hurt and ache and break for you more than it already has. But you can’t stop now. Because you didn’t stop then. She asked you what you did. She asked you why you did it. And as the words come out of your mouth, one by one…you don’t feel as heavy. You don’t feel the weight or the pain or the numbness.

“That I'd do anything to protect everything you love. Anything…”

You just feel her hands as she holds onto you. You just feel her gaze as she looks at you. You just feel the love that you have for her. And the love that she has for you. And for her people. And her village. And her troops. And for so much more.

“...and you love your people more than anything else. So I made sure…I made sure…”

And you used that. You used those feelings. You used her expression. Her touch. Her care. Her heart. Her soul. You used that to lift yourself up in this moment. To lift yourself up like those same feelings and memories lifted you up in battle. To lift yourself up like they did all so that things don’t feel so, so, so impossibly heavy anymore. So you can keep your promise. So you can keep on fighting. So you can keep on being strong.

“...that not a single drop of Gerudo blood stained the sands. Not a single drop”

At least, for just a little while longer.

[catboymoments]

I feel like you’ve kinda changed a lot recently tbh.

Like I don’t mean any harm. I just mean you went from not being okay with things like Bakudeku, selfcest and other extreme kinks, etc, but now you’re all like, yeah that’s all fine.

Like, what changed your mind on all that? (Genuinely asking)

Also, follow up, what things in fiction do make you feel uneasy?

((Cause I recall you mentioning things like enjoying drawing gore or listening to songs about cannibalism))

This is a bit of a weird ask but since you’re asking genuinely and nicely I’ll expound

Short answer: I got older

Long answer: I grew up, I met a lot of people and realized that there’s a lot of things irl that don’t really… matter that much in fiction? Or matter less? Or they’re really not as bad or world ending as I once thought they were when I was a teenager. When your world gets bigger than the walls of your high school, the things you worried about in fictional worlds become less significant.

for starters let me say that I was never not okay with selfcest I just didn’t really say anything about it until it was brought up, like I really don’t see how it’s a problem. It’s just the age old question of “would you fuck your clone.” and I was a bit of a late bloomer sexuality wise but I’ve always been a bit less vanilla when it comes to kinks- I just keep most if not all of my discussions and art of it in private conversations or under lock and key on priv. I value my privacy and I only want adults to see it.

What changed my view on doing different stuff in fiction was the revelation that I can explore darker topics and complex relationships without it being a moral failing or me endorsing or condoning it and I don’t have to just stick to making fluff. I don’t have to keep my content “”unproblematic”” because it’ll make me problematic somehow, that’s just not how it works. Like I can write about bad stuff in fiction and write stuff as horror and abuse or just explore relationships and how they’d be good or bad and examine tragedy from a well rounded lens. It was like Rock Lee taking off his leg weights for me. I can draw anything .

What makes me uneasy in fiction is when dark topics are romanticized or sexualized. when they’re presented as something “hot” or desirable, or it’s made not with the intention of telling a story or being significant- like for example there’s a difference between someone writing a fic about Hunter being a victim of csa and the horror of that vs someone writing a smutty fic of Hunter x Belos for the purpose of whacking off. There’s a difference between gore and violence on a character for the sake of torture and pain vs angst for a reason. Angst that makes sense. Bad things happen in real life and are okay to be portrayed in fiction, but sometimes I can tell when something is meant to be masturbatory. That’s what makes me uncomfortable!

Also I had a fascination with gore ever since I was a little kid and found warrior cats amvs and I drew a lot of battle scenes with red pen but I think I got all of that out of my system in childhood, I don’t draw gore anymore for the sake of gore LOL like I can’t even play mouthwashing bc I know it’ll make me nauseous

I hope this helps ??

[loveswrites]

Hi! Hope you are doing well !🫶🏻

I was wondering of you maybe could write a poly! Volturi fic? I really like your work 🫶🏻

Winter War Poly Volturi X Reader Pt 1

Word Count: 800

Time it took: I can't even tell you I don't even remember ngl I just finish it today.

To anon: Hello my love, I am doing well I hope you are as well and if not I hope you will be when You read this. I am so glad you enjoy my writing! So Here you go. I hope you enjoy <3

“No you can’t go.”

“I’m the queen! literally, why wouldn't I go?” You yelled. You had been fighting with your loves for about 30 minutes now. There was this ‘war’ coming so said Cauis. A girl named Bella and some vampire Edward had ended up long story short making a baby. It's not human and now it’s our problem. They had made a ruckus before in the castle but you had only caught the end tail of it, And by it I mean the fight. The only thing that could be heard besides Bellas scream and Edwards threats were your “Damnnn!” and “Shit you getting your ass beat!” And that was that.   

But now you're hearing about them again and they have been the only names who have been running through the dry cobble walls of the castle. And you're sick of it to say the least. Bella this, Bella that, Edward this, Edward that, The Baby, I’m sorry the monster. That’s all you’ve been hearing, It’s like you're in high school all over again. You graduated so why does it feel like this? 

So when you heard about them preparing for a fight you were the first one who was up and ready to go. Finally end this long drug out gossip and let you go back to your everyday life of being a queen. But to your surprise you were immediately told no. You’ve barely ever been told no since you met your loves. So you’ve gotten used to always hearing yes so at that moment when you didn’t, you didn't know what to do with yourself besides look at your loves like they lost their minds because excuse you? 

What do you mean no? Maybe becoming the queen had something to do with this new found spoiledness you had. But it’s not your fault that they promised you the world with everything you wanted inbetween. 

You thought as queen you had the right to be at these meetings or wars. And you were told that you do. So excuse me for having only one thought run through your head. 

Why can’t I go? Why can’t I go? Why can’t I go? That’s all that has been ringing in your head. 

“It’s not safe!” Alec yelled back at you. Making you immediately roll your eyes. 

“You act like it’s ever been safe for me!” You yelled back. Why would he say that like it’s an excuse or something new?

“You can get hurt.” Jane said also not agreeing with you going. 

“I can get hurt everyday! I could get hurt now, I’m human!” You yelled, taking a breath to add to your statement but you were cut off

“Exactly human! You're human! How could you possibly help us during this time like we need your help or anything?!” Cauis yelled.  

“Morale support! We all need it!” You yelled back.

“That doesn’t help us if someones trying to take our head off.” Felix stated.

“I don’t know, it might help me.” Dem said shrugging. 

“Oh my.” Marcus groaned, shaking his head with his eyes closed.

Long story short the world can only give you what you take from it. As you walk through the thick cold fluffy snow you can't help but feel proud of yourself. Your childish thoughts are filled with I got what I want. You can't tell me. You knew like hell this was extremely dangerous and you could end up more than dead to no return. But the fact that you've been crowned queen and you've never stepped out to come with your loves to settle a.. disagreement with other vampires upset you. How can I be worthy of being queen when I never get my hands dirty? Not even once. That's why you fought so hard to come here today with your loves. You also couldn't help but think fucking hell it's cold as shit out here. Your toes grew numb with every step. Which prompted you to turn and ask the closest one of your loves.

“So Are your toes constantly numb?” You asked Caius. Who immediately sighed deeply.

“You beg to come here and yet you ask such a stupid question.” He replied, speeding up his walking knowing damn well you won't be able to catch up to him.

“Hey It's not a stupid question! I'm genuinely concerned about the blood flow in your toes! It's important!” You yelled at the back of his head which he shook.

“Okay you can pick me back up, I don't want to walk anymore!” You said to no one in particular. 

“About time.” Jane picked u up and all you could hear was the loud whistles of wind in your ear.

Let's go see what all the drama is about shall we?

[ihavenotfigureditout]

Why does Nora Sakavic feel different from any other author?

I have first read AFTG let’s say in 2015 or so. I do not remember how I stumbled across it, it was unavailable in my country so I asked an American friend to send me a copy when she returned home. It was the first book series I have read in English. And 10 years later, after reading it again for the 4th time it felt the same as it did the first time. Each time I look for more details and I cannot bring myself read any other books afterwards. That’s when the sleuthing starts. Looking for more content, some piece of information. The tumblr blog suddenly pops into my head and something feels off.

When I read books I prefer to ignore authors exist. It ruins the story, it ruins the excitement and it feels strange that someone’s creativity makes you feel things. When I read books I prefer to know nothing besides the story, I don’t follow the authors anywhere and I don’t look up information of if there is going to be more of what they’ve written, that’s left up to fate and the future. But I can’t do the same for AFTG. Why?

Nora feels like an endless well of information about the story, she’s mysterious but connected to her audience. It is as if she’s not the author but one of the readers too. The now gone FAQ’s and other bits and pieces of the story feel like BTS clips of the movie we have seen in our heads while reading the books. The characters feel strangely unique and thought out. They are fleshed out in a way that reminds me of The Secret History and We were all villains. It’s a group, with dynamics and backstories and much more but the story still managed to focus on the main character while giving us much more. And on my last read I realised how much I enjoy the way she writes body language. I don’t think I have noticed such a thing in any other books I have read. I constantly have to do double takes to imagine the scene with all the details of body language she presents. The overwhelming sense of team spirit (the American way) I have after finishing them is irritating as I can’t relate it to anything else experienced in my European life.

All of this makes her such an intriguing character to me. I don’t understand it. And I have yet to figure it out.

Anyway-rant over.

[lqtraintracks]

Writing Interview

Thanks so much for the tag @starquestingfordrarry! <333

how many works do you have on ao3? 337

what's your total ao3 word count? 1,454,047

your top 5 stories by kudos

Right Hand Red (with freakin’ 40,662; sorry, I just noticed that it had ticked over the 40k mark and I’m flabbergasted and so grateful as well <3 )

Hung Like a Horntail

Slip Into My Lover’s Hands

Weeds or Wildflowers written with sdk / @unmistakablyoatmeal

check this hand ‘cause I’m marvelous

do you respond to comments? Er… yes?? Like, very. verrrrry. slowly. But I’ll admit that some will never get answered because I lose steam and then when I start trying again, I start with the newest ones. This might sound horn-tooty, which is not how I intend it, but with the number of stories I’ve written, I get a lot of comments. I’ve found it impossible to keep up, but I do my best, even if my best is sometimes a bit crappy. I do read and appreciate every comment I get though!

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? I don’t really do angsty endings often. When I do, it’s usually a Prongsfoot or something. Of the Drarry fics I’ve written, I have one open ending but it’s still pretty hopeful, and that’s Burning the Ground. 

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? All of them. :D My goal in life is to get readers (and myself) to cry with joy at the end of my stories. Some standouts just from memory are Heart Like Neon, Bolts, Take You Home, Jasmine in Bloom, Right Hand Red, Blood and Fire, and The Most Splendid Thing. 

do you write crossovers? Maybe one or two over the last 25 years. So, statistically, not so much. 

have you ever received hate on a fic? LOL of course. :D But I don’t linger on those comments. They’re quite few honestly. 

do you write smut? No, never. 

have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. 

have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Quite a few have been. Not even sure how many languages, but I know there are several in Russian, Chinese, and I think both Spanish and Portuguese. 

have you ever co-written a fic? Yes! With the incredibly talented sdk, @the-starryknight, and @nv-md! (And one round robin with like 552 people lol.)

what's your all-time favorite ship? Drarry, my beloved. <3

what's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I don’t really have wips. I’m a chronic finisher. I did start something last year for a friend’s birthday and then pooped out. I ended up writing her a completely different pairing months later. And then I took some of the vibes and ideas from that unfinished fic and wrote them into other fics that I *did* finish, so… Cannibalism. Yeah. 

what are your writing strengths? LOL finishing things! :D Also: smut, for sure. Humor. Sort of achy, hot romances? My trademark is writing tenderness and filth simultaneously. I’ve gotten good at pacing things well, so that beats and arcs feel well-rounded and satisfying, I think. 

what are your writing weaknesses? Ugh, plot!!! Specifically non-romance-or-pairing-based plotlines are difficult for me. Heavy angst. Also stakes. I struggle to up the stakes for my characters enough to give a big payoff. I struggle to make my characters change enough or to effectively write that change in a satisfying way. (This applies more to my original writing than to fic, I think.)

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’m not sure what the hot take here is and if there is one I’m missing it. My original novel has a Spanish speaker and he will sometimes slip into Spanish during conversation. I wanted to get that right, so I had a native Spanish speaker (hi @capipuff!) read it to correct my bad Google-translated Spanish. So I guess my thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic is, do your best to get it right?

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?  If I want to write something, I write it. :D 

what's your favorite thing you've ever written? Oof. Wow. I want to say my original novel, even though it’s also more flawed than my fic tends to be. It’s certainly one of the things I’m most proud to have written. <3 Usually my favorite fic is the last thing I’ve written and that’s true right now as well. I love The Most Splendid Thing. But before that, my favorite was probably Jasmine in Bloom, and before that it was Take You Home. Bolts is for sure in the running. Heart Like Neon is way up there as well. As is My Name in Your Mouth, because I love that Teddy Lupin with all my horny heart. 

Okay I'm going to tag some of you fine folks now: Ali, you're it! Also, @writcraft @shiftylinguini @phoebe-delia @wholahoop @saintgarbanzo @academicdisasterfic @citrusses @corvuscrowned @lettersbyelise and @magpiefngrl