#I don’t exercise for medical reasons

[cupophrogs]

I just realized that those random bursts of hyper-fixated energy could just be Human Zoomies

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Somehow I feel like being more physically active is making me aggressive and more prone to violent thinking

[pucksandpower]

Racing Hearts

Lando Norris x cardiopulmonary technician!Reader

Summary: you’ve had a way of making Lando’s heart race since the moment he met you

You glance down at your clipboard as your next patient walks into the exercise physiology lab. “Lando Norris?” You ask, looking up with a smile.

The young British man grins back at you. “That’s me!”

“Excellent! I’m Y/N, I’ll be your technician today. We’re just going to do a simple cardiopulmonary exercise test to get some baseline numbers before the start of the season.”

Lando nods, looking around the lab curiously. “No problem, happy to be poked and prodded in the name of science and fast cars.”

You laugh as you gesture for him to take a seat. “Don’t worry, I promise to be gentle,” you joke. “I’m just going to put some electrodes on your chest to monitor your heart rate, then we’ll get you on the treadmill for the test.”

“Sounds good,” Lando says, settling onto the exam table.

You start placing the sticky electrode pads across his chest and ribs, trying not to blush at his shirtless state. Formula 1 drivers really are fit underneath those racing suits.

“So how’s preseason training going?” You ask conversationally as you work. “Think McLaren has a chance this year?”

Lando grins. “I’m feeling good! Me and the team have been putting in a lot of hard work over the winter. I’m definitely aiming higher than 6th in the championship.”

You smile as you finish placing the electrodes and motion for him to stand. “That’s the spirit. Alright, hop up on the treadmill and we’ll get you moving.”

Lando steps up onto the machine and you start it up slowly, increasing the speed in measured increments. “I’ll take you up to a brisk jog, then we’ll keep you there for about 10 minutes while I monitor your heart rate, breathing, and oxygen levels,” you explain.

“Sounds gucci,” Lando replies with a thumbs up, his breath starting to quicken as the treadmill pace increases.

You make sure the electrode leads are secure, then step back to observe the incoming data on the computer screen. Lando’s lean legs stride smoothly along the treadmill belt as you keep a close watch on his vitals, making notes on your clipboard. After a few minutes, you frown slightly at the heart rate readout. It seems unusually elevated for an elite athlete like Lando, even at this moderate jogging pace.

“How are you feeling Lando?” You call out. “Everything okay?”

“All … good,” he huffs out, face flushed from the exertion.

You hesitate, glancing between him and the concerning heart rate values on the screen. “It’s just that your heart rate is a bit higher than I would expect,” you say slowly. “Are you feeling any chest pain or tightness?”

Lando shakes his head. “No, no, nothing like that. I feel fine!” He insists breathlessly.

You bite your lip, still frowning. “Your heart rate is quite high though, over 85% of estimated max. For an experienced athlete I would expect values closer to 70-80% at this pace.”

“Oh … yeah, maybe it’s a bit high,” Lando acknowledges, starting to breathe harder. “But don’t worry about me, I’m fit as a fiddle!”

You reach over to slow the treadmill slightly. “Let’s bring the pace down a bit. I’m concerned about these heart rate readings. We should really have you checked out by a cardiologist before the season starts.”

Lando grabs the front handrails, shaking his head stubbornly. “No, no that’s not necessary, really! I’m fine, just maybe didn’t warm up enough.”

You give him a skeptical look. “Lando, as your technician I have to advise getting this looked at. Your heart rate is elevated beyond normal parameters.”

Lando chews his lip, glancing away evasively. “Um, well … maybe there’s a reason for that.”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “What do you mean? Like a medical condition you haven’t told me about?”

“No, no nothing like that!” Lando says quickly. He mumbles something under his breath you can’t quite make out over the whir of the treadmill.

“Sorry, what was that?” You ask, leaning closer. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Oh, uh … it was nothing,” Lando mutters, face reddening further.

You stop the treadmill completely so you can hear him better, folding your arms over your clipboard. “Lando, if there’s something I should know that’s affecting your test results, you need to tell me. As your technician, I really think we should get your heart looked at just to be safe.”

Lando locks eyes with you for a moment, hesitation written across his features. He mumbles again under his breath, so quietly you can’t discern the words.

You hold his gaze firmly. “One more time, please. It’s really important that I understand what’s going on so I can interpret these results accurately.”

Lando breaks eye contact, looking down at his feet. He kicks lightly at the motionless treadmill belt, before finally whispering. “It’s you, alright?”

You blink in surprise. “Me? What do you mean?”

Lando glances up at you briefly, his face now tomato-red. “You’re … the reason my heart rate is high,” he mumbles.

You stare at him in confusion. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

Lando groans, covering his face with his hands. “Because … I really fancy you, okay?” He admits, the words muffled into his palms. “You’re just … totally gorgeous and sweet and it makes me nervous and … my heart rate goes mad around pretty girls I like.”

Your eyes widen in understanding, feeling your own cheeks flush bright pink. “Oh! Oh ...”

Lando peeks out at you between splayed fingers. “Yeah, so that’s why it’s high. Not because I have some underlying heart condition.” He gives you a sheepish smile. “Just because my technician is really fit.”

You let out an awkward laugh, suddenly feeling shy. “Wow, uh … I’m flattered, Lando. I didn’t realize ...”

Lando drops his hands from his face, looking at you earnestly. “Sorry, is that weird? I know we just met and you’re doing your job.” He fidgets with the electrode wires across his chest. “Don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

You smile warmly back at him, feeling butterflies in your own stomach. “Don’t be silly. It’s not weird at all. Honestly, I, uh … also think you’re really cute,” you admit with bashful grin.

Lando’s eyes light up. “Yeah?” A wide, delighted smile spreads across his face.

You nod, laughing softly. “Yeah, I may have been trying not to blush myself with you shirtless here in my lab.”

“Well I’m certainly not complaining about the view either,” Lando says cheekily.

You smack his arm playfully. “I’m being professional here!”

“And doing a great job,” Lando says, smile softening. “But maybe once we’re done with all this boring medical stuff … we could get dinner? If you want?” He looks at you hopefully.

Your heart flutters with excitement. “I’d really like that.” You smile at each other giddily for a moment before you clear your throat. “But first, we really should finish your assessment properly.”

Lando laughs, nodding. “Of course, you’re the boss!”

You roll your eyes affectionately. “Alright, hop back on the treadmill. And this time just focus on your breathing and try not to make eyes at the pretty technician,” you tease.

“No promises there,” Lando quips with a grin as he steps back onto the belt.

You just smile and shake your head as you start up the machine once more, unable to keep your own heart rate from quickening in anticipation of what promises to be a very special dinner date after the test is complete.

***

Several Months Later

You glance down nervously at your paddock pass as you make your way through the crowded paddock. As an unofficial member of Lando’s training team now, you have full access to the exclusive behind-the-scenes world of Formula 1. But despite months of dating the British driver, the glamorous circus still feels surreal.

Dodging golf carts and important looking people with headsets, you head for the McLaren garage. Lando had told you to meet him there before the start of the race. Your heart flutters, as it always does at the thought of seeing him again.

“Y/N!” Lando greets you brightly as you enter the garage. Engine roars echo around you as mechanics make final tweaks to the cars before wheeling them to the grid.

“Good luck today!” You tell Lando, leaning up on your toes to kiss him sweetly.

“With you here, how can I lose?” He grins down at you. His energy is infectious.

You chat together as the cars are lined up on the starting grid, Lando bouncing excitedly in his race suit. You squeeze his gloved hand. “Be safe out there.”

“Always am, love.” He winks before pulling on his helmet and climbing into the cockpit.

You make your way back to the McLaren hospitality suite to watch the start of the race. Your heart pounds as the lights go out and the F1 cars launch forward in a roar of engines. Lando makes a clean getaway, slotting into P5 heading into the first turn.

The race unfolds smoothly, Lando maintaining his position in the top five. You watch tensely on the monitors, hands clenched.

But on lap 38, disaster strikes. Heading into a fast sweeper, the Red Bull of Sergio Perez attempts a risky overtake maneuver on Lando’s inside. They collide in a shower of carbon fiber and a plume of smoke.

You gasp sharply as Lando’s car spins off into the gravel trap, coming to rest against the barrier at an abrupt stop. The McLaren crew monitor the radio channels anxiously.

“Lando, are you okay mate?” His engineer asks urgently.

“Yeh … I’m okay ...” Lando’s labored voice comes back. “Bit winded but I’m alright.”

You breathe a deep sigh of relief along with the crew. The medical car is quickly dispatched to the scene. Lando climbs unsteadily from the battered car, sitting down in the gravel trap as he awaits assistance.

Your adrenaline surging, you take off from the garage the moment you see Lando is out of the car safely. Jogging through the paddock, you make your way swiftly to the medical center.

As you rush in, Lando is just being helped onto an examination table by two medics. He’s dusty and sweaty, his hair sticking up at all angles from where he pulled off his helmet. But otherwise he seems intact.

“Lando!” You hurry over, emotions welling up at seeing him battered but in one piece.

“Y/N, hey ...” Lando greets you with a weary but reassuring smile. He reaches for your hand which you clutch tightly.

One medic cuts away the top of Lando’s racing suit, placing electrodes on his chest to monitor his heart rhythm. You hover anxiously as they check him over.

“Heart rate is quite elevated,” the doctor frowns as he reads the monitor. He glances between you and Lando with concern. “Any chest pain or tightness?”

Lando huffs a small laugh, shaking his head. He looks up at you, his green eyes glinting. “Nah, doc. She’s the reason for the fast heartbeat.”

You feel your cheeks flush as Lando grins. The medic looks confused.

“See, ever since Y/N came into my life, she’s made my heart race a mile a minute,” Lando explains cheekily.

You smack his arm but can’t help laughing too. Trust Lando to still be flirting from a hospital bed.

“Ah, young love,” the doctor chuckles. “Well, your heart may beat for her, but let’s still do a full check to be safe.”

Lando nods agreeably, though his gaze stays fixed on you. He winces slightly as they palpate his ribs and abdomen, checking for injuries.

You cling to his hand, emotionally drained from the scare but overwhelmed with relief that he seems okay. Lando keeps stealing glances at you through the examination.

Finally the doctor steps back. “All done. Amazingly, you’ve escaped with just some bruising. No breaks or internal injuries. You were lucky today.”

The medic packs up his equipment. “Get some rest and ice those sore spots. But overall good news. No reason you can’t race in two weeks’ time.”

“Phew, that’s a relief!” Lando says. He thanks the doctors as you help him down from the table.

Arm wrapped supportively around him, you make your slow way out of the medical center towards the McLaren motorhome.

“Thank you for being here,” Lando murmurs, leaning his head on your shoulder as you walk.

You kiss his dusty hair. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You scared me to death out there!”

“I know, sorry about that, love. It happened so fast.” He lifts his head to look at you sincerely. “But I’m alright. Just grateful to have you by my side.”

You stop, turning to face him fully. Reaching up, you caress his cheek gently. “I’ll always be right here by your side.”

Lando’s eyes shine. “Is it cheesy to say you make my heart race in the best way?”

Laughing softly, you pull him into a tender kiss. For this brief moment, nothing else matters but the two of you.

Lando sighs contentedly when you eventually pull back. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

You squeeze his hand, smiling up at him. “The feeling’s mutual. Now let’s get you rested up. I want my favorite driver back to full fitness ASAP.”

With his arm wrapped warmly around your shoulders, you’re reminded that no matter what challenges life brings, your hearts will keep racing together as one.

***

It’s a quiet night and you and Lando are cuddling in bed together after a long day. Lando’s arms are wrapped securely around you, your head resting comfortably on his chest. His fingers idly trace delicate patterns along your back as you lay pressed close, breathing in sync.

Though it’s late, you can tell Lando’s mind is still wide awake, trailing far from the coziness of your shared bed. His pensive silence prompts you to prop yourself up on one elbow, looking down at him with a curious smile.

“Penny for your thoughts, love?”

Lando blinks up at you before giving a small, distracted smile. “Oh, it’s nothing really ...”

You raise a knowing eyebrow. “Lando, I can always tell when something’s on your mind.” You brush a lock of hair back from his forehead tenderly. “Talk to me?”

Lando chews his lip, eyes darting away evasively. Finally he lets out a long breath, arms tightening around your waist. “I guess … I’ve just been thinking about when I picked you up earlier today.”

You think back to the afternoon when Lando swung by your lab after work like usual. “What about it?”

“Well, when I pulled up out front, I saw one of your patients leaving the exercise center,” Lando explains. His brow furrows slightly. “Some tall, muscular bloke in running shorts.”

“Oh, that was probably Brandon — he’s a sprinter I had in for VO2 max testing,” you reply casually before pausing. “Wait … you’re not jealous, are you?”

“No! No, of course not,” Lando says quickly. But the way his eyes shift away makes you think otherwise.

You frown slightly, snuggling closer against his chest. “Lando, you know you have absolutely no reason to be jealous. I only have eyes for you,” you murmur reassuringly.

Lando sighs, arms tightening around your back. “I know, I know. It’s stupid ...” He trails off, looking conflicted.

You lay a comforting hand along his jaw. “Talk to me, love. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

Lando meets your earnest gaze, emotions swirling in his eyes. “I just … I wonder sometimes why you picked me, you know? You meet guys like that every day. And I’m just ...” he shrugs self-consciously.

Your heart squeezes at the vulnerable admission. You tenderly stroke Lando’s cheek. “Hey … you listen to me. You’re the only one I want. All those other athletes are just patients to me. But you ...” You smile down at him adoringly. “You’re the one who makes my heart race with just a look. The one I want to spend all my time with. The one I love with my entire heart.”

The corner of Lando’s mouth lifts in a faint, tentative smile at your words. “Yeah?”

“Absolutely,” you whisper fervently. Leaning down, you capture his lips in a sweet, loving kiss. “You’re my once in a lifetime, Lando. My soulmate. Meeting you was destiny.”

Lando’s arms wrap tightly around you again, the last of the tension fading from his frame. “I’m sorry I got all insecure like that. I know I’m being silly.” He presses an apologetic kiss to your hair. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You nuzzle your face lovingly against his neck. “You were just yourself — that funny, charming, incredible guy I fell for the moment we met.” You lift your head to meet his eyes again. “I never stood a chance. My heart was yours from the start.”

A smile breaks across Lando’s face at last. “I really am the luckiest bloke in the world, aren’t I?”

“Damn right you are,” you say teasingly, making him laugh. Your expression softens. “But truly, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. My heart only races for you. It always will.”

Lando’s eyes gleam with renewed confidence and adoration as he rolls you both over so he’s hovering above you. “Well in that case, what do you say we get your heart racing again?” He murmurs playfully, brushing his nose against yours.

You grin up at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “I’d say you’re on.”

Lando’s smile widens as he dips his head to meet your lips in a passionate kiss. Your pulse immediately quickens at his touch, heart thrumming as you arch up into him.

When Lando finally pulls back for air, his eyes are dancing. “Yep, definitely racing,” he laughs breathlessly, lifting your hand to his lips to kiss your pulse point.

You shake your head in amusement, heart overflowing with love for this man. “You’re the only one for me. Today, tomorrow, and always.”

Lando’s smile softens to something tender and reverent. “And you’re my once in a lifetime, Y/N.” He brushes his thumb along your cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper. And as his lips find yours again, you let yourself get lost in his kiss, your racing hearts beating as one.

[thewildernesschooses]

My Man, a readerxtravis oneshot

a criminal lack of travis content. he’s so fun to write! oh well, i guess i have to be the change i want to see in the world and whatever.

reader and travis knew each other before the crash. You weren’t friends but something changed out there.

Travis was a dick, there was no denying that. You knew that before the crash and you had no expectations that a freak accident would make him kinder. But this was beyond the pale.

He didn’t get to be a dick to Javi like that. You understood that he was grieving, even understood how his complicated relationship with his father was making this worse, but he needed to buck up.

Javi was a good kid, he was stubborn sometimes but who wasn’t? You cared about that little boy, you babysat him back when you were JV. When Travis was recovering from his surgery there were so many appointments and hospital stays. Coach didn’t want to cancel any practice and god forbid he let his assistant coach assist him in coaching a varsity game.

You guys would order pizza and watch Pixar. You didn’t even have a license yet so you couldn’t do anything fun. Javi was always nice though, a sweet boy who listened well and never wanted to cause any fuss. You weren’t ever particularly good with kids but Javi was an easy person to be around. That’s why when Travis started to wrestle Javi too roughly you lost your shit.

You stormed out of the cabin to hear Travis yelling at his brother to spit something out, you can only assume he’s talking about that stale gum Javi couldn't let go of. You were actually going to talk about it with him after lunch, about coping with grief, but of course, Travis was too impulsive to move slowly.

“Hey, dickwad, let him go!”

But it was too late, Travis had forcibly opened Javi's mouth and made him spit out the gum. You were hoping he would be able to voluntarily release it, that it would help Javi psychologically accept the loss like how you talked about in AP psych. Obviously, Travis could only get into the bullshit health class where they don’t teach you anything about being a normal, decent person.

Javi didn’t react well. He stormed off and you were going to follow him until you looked at Travis and your heart broke for some reason.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” You knew he knew that. “The world is only going to get harder on us, the least you could do is be gentle with him.”

Everyone still seemed to be committed to rescue but you knew it had been too long. You went a weird way on a sketchy private plane. Nobody knew where you were and it increasingly looked like you only had each other.

Travis looked up from the ground with his big, sad eyes. “I…I just wanted him to stop smacking on that gum and…I don’t know.” You believed that he came in with no solid reasoning or plan, that sounded on brand for him.

You stepped closer because he was talking quietly. You kept going until you were closer than you had been in the four years you had spent catching rides home with Coach Martinez because your mom worked late. “Listen, you should find him in a little bit and apologize. I know you don’t mean to hurt his feelings but you need to cut all of this out.” Travis didn’t even have the heart to argue with you. “I know this sucks worse for you than for anyone else but with coach Ben’s leg, you’re the man here. You need to be level-headed and strong. Not just for Javi, but for all of us.”

All of Travis’s life, he had only wanted to feel like a man. Out there in the real world, he had failed. He wasn’t athletic and for a good portion of his adolescence, he was literally medically advised against exercising or lifting weights of any kind. When all the boys in middle school were doing push-up contests, he was going to orthopedic specialists for back brace fittings.

But Travis’s spinal fusion was successful, even if the healing was brutal. And he was seeing a place to prove himself. He needed to show his dad he could step up and be a man. He could take care of Javi and the girls and he would go back and take care of his mom too. This is the last time he and his dad will be in the same place and Travis will leave here a man if he can help it.

He oddly wanted to prove it to you too. You were around when he was worse off. One of his father's little pets he liked to keep from the team. You saw how debilitating the pain was before the surgery, saw how recovery was slow and isolating. And you saw all the in-between at school. Flex.

He never quite put together that you would have a lot of insight on him but now that he thinks about it, you may be the person to know the most. Which is sad because you don’t even seem to like him that much.

He takes your advice, though. Javi doesn’t accept it immediately but it seems like they eventually figure it out from your point of view. Of course, Travis is the same angry boy but he’s trying to temper himself into something stronger, less likely to break.

Travis keeps coming to you for advice. You’re not sure why, you never got along. You spent fifteen minutes with him 3 days a week (at the very least) for the last four years and you had developed no camaraderie during that but desperate times, you guessed.

It started with just his relationship with Javi. You were his babysitter after all and the kid talked about you like invented the Lion King DVD. You were more sensitive to him than Travis naturally was. Neither of you would acknowledge that this was the dynamic Coach Martinez and his wife had but you both felt the weight of it. You were the closest thing Javi had to parents out here. It didn’t matter if either of you liked it, you were mom and dad.

After a while, Travis started to ask you about more things. What plants were edible, how you mended things so well, what you did to make his dad like you so much. You didn’t have a clear answer for the last one. Travis seemed to know what you meant when you said you had no idea how Coach felt about you except for the fact he trusted you enough to watch over Javi. He was a man that spoke more with actions but that meant so much was left unsaid. You wished you had asked him why he took a shine to you. You weren’t the best defender. Was it pity for not having a dad? Or a mom that worked too much? You’ll never know now.

Then things got complicated when he started coming to you about a girl. He wouldn’t say who he needed advice about but you could assume. He had spent so much time alone with Natalie, it could only be her.

It made sense too. They both had a compatible jaggedness that seemed to slot together well. They both had to feel the pressure of being hunters, and the judgment when they came back empty-handed.

You weren’t expecting for it to… affect you. You couldn’t tell what it was at first. Initially, you thought you just didn’t like the idea of some poor girl being subjected to Travis’s courtship. Then you realized that he had grown and someone out here could maybe have a lovely relationship with him. Then you thought it was an extension of that irrational judgment, that the hunters should be focused on game and not frivolous crushes but even that was off base. You thought he and Nat deserved some respite.

It wasn’t until you were making sure Javi was tucked in well on a cold, rainy fall night that you realized it was because you were jealous. Travis slept one spot away from you with Javi in the middle and you looked at him already looking at you two. You thought about how glad you were he wasn’t closer to the door with Natalie.

Neither of you looked away for a minute. It felt so domestic like you were over at his house while his parents were out. Watching Bambi after Javi had fallen asleep halfway. What it maybe could’ve been if either of you had given the other one a chance.

You looked away first to make sure Javi was breathing deeply. You went to bed with the heavy feeling that you were helping push the boy you liked towards a much prettier girl, with more experience and bravery than you would probably ever have the chance of gaining at this rate.

The next day, you and Travis were stringing up herbs to start drying them in the meat shed when he asked, “How do you let a girl know you like her and not have it blow up if she doesn’t like you back?”

“Well, I don’t know how to answer that because no one’s ever liked me like that.” It was painful to say out loud but if you weren’t willing to admit that here and now, where would you?

He stopped what he was bundling and looked incredulous. “You mean, you’ve just never had to tell someone you don’t like them, right?

And man did that make you feel like a loser. Even perpetual virgin Travis was in disbelief at the lack of play you got back home. “No, that’s not what I meant,” you said quietly, cutting off some twine.

It was silent for a minute. God, he was awkward. Why did you even like him? He was just looking at you all weirdly and he hadn’t gathered the next bundle so you had idle hands.

He obviously deduced that you had a slight (massive) thing for him. You were too obvious last night, forcing him to play house with you. You were practically Misty Quigley-level delusional.

“I’m sure some guy has been pining after you and you just don’t know.”

“Oh yeah, that’s why I wasn’t rejecting boys left and right back home, I’m just too intimidating for anyone to ever confess to me.” The sarcasm was plain in your tone. “I’m just too pretty and smart for anyone to ever believe they could have a chance with me, is that right?”

“I know you’re trying to joke right now but you’re not wrong.” He said it all fast, like the words tripped out of him. He made his eyes go all big and soft which made it impossible for you to continue being aloof with him.

“Shut up, you don’t have to lie and make me feel good.”

“What if I’m not? What if I know for a fact that I’m right? That there is a guy out there pining over you.”

You laughed. It was torturous because the delusional part of you believed he must be talking about himself but you knew better. You didn’t get the boy in the end. You don’t get what you want.

“Yeah. Who? Sean from trig? I watched him pick his nose and put it under his desk like two weeks before our plane crashed, I’m good.” Joking usually helped you out in situations but it seemed to frustrate Travis further. He must be really weirded out by your liking him.

Travis took the twine and the knife from your still hands, the task abandoned long ago. He got close to you, the way you had gotten close to him that first time. “No. Not Sean. Me. I’ve been pining after you in these stupid woods and you’re the only one who can’t see that!”

“You mean Natalie? You’ve been asking me for advice on how to make her like you for weeks!”

Travis started pulling at his hair. It had gotten so long out here and had made him unfairly attractive. He shouldn’t distract you like this during serious conversation. “I’ve been asking you for advice on how to make you like me! Jesus Christ, aren’t you usually smart?”

“Oh.” Wow. That was not what you were expecting at all.

“Oh? What does that mean?” You never told him how to tell the girl without making it awkward so he didn’t know what to do after this. You just frustrated him into transparency like you usually did.

You were looking at his face for a moment, checking if this was a trick or something. When you only saw sincerity, you said “I like you too.” He exhaled, apparently waiting on bated breath for your answer.

He took the hand that was holding the twine and held it between his, just holding it, warming up your fingers. He stepped more into your space. He whispered, “I…I don’t know how to do this.”

You returned his intensity with your eyes, really just dropping down the walls you had built around letting your feelings for him show.

“I don’t know how to do any of it either. I was telling the truth when I told you no one has ever liked me like that before.”

He scoffed, “Their loss.”

“Yeah,” you quietly laughed out. Anything louder would’ve felt like yelling.

Then he kissed you. It was both of your first kisses, but he kissed you like a man. He put one hand on your hip and another caressed the side of your neck as he dropped that last physical boundary between you too. You couldn’t go much further because of your mutual inexperience and general breathlessness but it was more than satisfying to you both.

You would both have to leave the shed soon. You needed to check on Javi and talk to him about his whittling. You were trying to talk to him about historical events and books you remembered from school. Fall had come and he should be back in school.

You both lingered. Finally having some type of resolution to anything felt significant out here where things get started but never properly finished.

“So…Are you my girlfriend now?”

You grinned a little. At least this thing between you was good, sacred.

“Yes, and you’re my man.”

[beemochi-art]

PAX AND ARIEL! Simpler times, Happier times. Back when everything thing made sense and nothing mattered but each other.

Orion comes from a higher background. Thanks to alpha trion, Orion was able to become an archivist and get proper medical treatment for his condition, he loves learning all he can about everything but history is what he likes most.

While training for his position as an archivist apprentice. He noticed a cleaner in the halls. She was out of place for the job she was taking on. A pretty femma hauling big ass loads of trash out of the building and then coming back for more, getting her beautiful plating dirty and not giving a shit about it. She was super strong too. He was enamored. Orion was also curious how she has such a difficult and dirty job when she could easily be doing something else, She was beautiful. Plenty of companies were looking for secretaries. When she had a break He gained the confidence to talk to her.

On Ariel’s side he walked up and she was instantly attracted. They got to talking and she simply answered Orion’s question with “I have my reasons.” She brushed over the subject and asked him out on a date. Orion was dumbfounded but ultimately ecstatic.

Things moved pretty fast. (They Rizzed each other) They were both incredibly comfortable in each other’s presence and pretty much spent most of their free time hanging out, cuddling, flirting, doing things in places they shouldn’t. Orion tried to hide his condition from her the best he could in the beginning but ultimately just caused more harm to himself. He thought she would leave if she found out because it’s a rare condition but a debilitating one. They exact opposite happened Ariel would educate herself about his condition to try and help him best she could, caring around extra inhalers and doing venting exercises. Orion’s condition would never go away but her being there and making sure he was taking care of himself made him need his inhaler less than he usual did.

Ariel is a lower class mecha. Most of her past and information is either unknown or she’s unwilling to share. Orion never pushed her. She’s a bit of a troublemaker and seems to go wherever she wants too (rule breaking is new to Orion). Ariel’s job is shitty, the mechs she works with are bottom of the barrel scum and don’t like Orion. But she refuses to quit for whatever reasons. But it has short hours so she has more time to hang around Orion. She sometimes is self deprecating and tells Orion he could do better, and that she would only cause problems for him. He doesn’t care tho and would do anything to convince her he’s not going anywhere.

After dating for like a year or two, they agreed when Ariel had all her ducks in a row, they would conjunx. Orion wouldn’t mind conjunxing her that day but it was her decision.

That however that didn’t work out.

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Saving Money and Being Frugal

We’re all in this together. Don’t give up.

On food and groceries:

How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss

Why Name Brand Products Are Beneath You: The Honor and Glory of Buying Generic

If You Don’t Eat Leftovers I Don’t Even Want to Know You

You Are above Bottled Water, You Elegant Land Mermaid

You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.

On entertainment and socializing:

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

7 Totally Reasonable Ways To Save Money on Cheap Entertainment 

Take Pride in Being a Cheap Date

The Library Is a Magical Place and You Should Fucking Go There

Your Library Lets You Stream Audiobooks and eBooks FOR FREEEEEEE!

What’s the Effect of Social Media on Your Finances?

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

On health:

How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

Why You Probably Don’t Need That Gym Membership

How to Get DIRT CHEAP Pet Medication, Without a Prescription 

On other big expenses:

Businesses Will Happily Give You HUGE Discounts if You Ask This Magic Question

Understand the Hidden Costs of Travel and Avoid Them Like the Plague

Other People’s Weddings Don’t Have to Make You Broke

You Deserve Cheap, Fake Jewelry… Just Like Coco Chanel

3 Times I Was Damn Grateful for My Emergency Fund (and Side Income) 

When (and How) to Try Refinancing or Consolidating Student Loans

The Real Story of How I Paid Off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years 

Season 2, Episode 2: “I’m Not Ready to Buy a House—But How Do I *Get Ready* to Get Ready?”

The Most Impactful Financial Decision I’ve Ever Made… and Why I Don’t Recommend It

On buying secondhand and trading:

Almost Everything Can Be Purchased Secondhand

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

The Delicate Art of the Friend Trade

On giving gifts and charitable donations:

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

In Defense of Shameless Regifting

Make Sure Your Donations Have the Biggest Impact by Ruthlessly Judging Charities

The Anti-Consumerist Gift Guide: I Have No Gift to Bring, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

How to Spot a Charitable Scam

Ask the Bitches: How Do I Say “No” When a Loved One Asks for Money… Again? 

On resisting temptation:

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

The Magically Frugal Power of Patience

6 Proven Tactics for Avoiding Emotional Impulse Spending

On minimalism and buying less:

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

Everything I Know About Minimalism I Learned from the Zombie Apocalypse

Slay Your Financial Vampires

The Subscription Box Craze and the Mindlessness of Wasteful Spending

On saving money:

How To Start Small by Saving Small

Not Every Savings Account Is Created Equal

The Unexpected Benefits (and Downsides) of Money Challenges

Budgets Don’t Work for Everyone—Try the Spending Tracker System Instead

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 2, Episode 10: “Which Is Smarter: Getting a Loan? or Saving up to Pay Cash?”

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

We will periodically update this list with newer articles. And by “periodically” I mean “when we remember that it’s something we forgot to do for four months.”

Bitches Get Riches: setting realistic expectations since 2017!

Start saving right heckin’ now!

If you want to start small with your savings, consider signing up for an Acorns account! They round up your every purchase to the nearest dollar and save and invest the change for you. We like them so much we’ve generously allowed them to sponsor us with this affiliate link:

Start investing today with Acorns

[shittycollagen]

it’s so frustrating to be looking at products for medical reasons and have all of the info on them be based on a healthy persons health. I don’t want to know which heart rate monitor watch doodad is best for working out and exercise - I want to know which one will give me the most accurate heart rate and sleep info. I especially don’t want to know which meal replacement shakes are best for weight loss - I want to know what I can use to make sure I’m getting enough nutrients when I’m too nauseous to eat.

[castiwls]

I love you, period .ᐟ

Paring; art x reader

Synopsis; periods sucked. they sucked even more when your boyfriend happened to be away

Notes; writing this as i suffered from cramps was an experience (I need a boyfriend)

Masterlist

The blinking red of the clock was almost mocking. The red colour of the number is ironic almost as you lay there curled up in the only position which seemed to offer some semblance of relief from the relentless stabbing feeling in your stomach.

Art had joked once that you could open a pharmacy with the amount of medication in your drawers and you’d simply rolled your eyes before throwing your pillow at him but now you were wishing you actually did have a pharmacy in your room.

You’d tried everything. Boxes of painkillers, heat pads and hot water bottles (sometimes together), hell you’d even resorted to breathing exercises yet the pain would not pass. 

Art had called only a few hours ago - something which felt like a lifetime to you now. You were pretty sure he was spending more time on the phone with you than he was practising for the tournament he’d left go away for and the selfish part of you was glad.

Of course, he’d get dragged away to another college the weekend your body decided to turn against you. Just your luck! He’d felt bad, horrible almost when you’d called this morning almost in tears after waking up to the cramp in your stomach and the overall disgusting feeling which came with your period.

He’d almost got on the first bus back before you’d reassured him that you’d be okay. Though neither of you really believed that statement. Even three hours away he was still somehow managing to continue being overprotective and doting in a way which left a smile on your face even as you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“Make sure you take the painkillers on time.”

“Eat and drink so you don’t feel sick - oh I left cash in your draw for snacks!”

Words couldn’t describe how grateful you were yet as much as you enjoyed the calls you still wanted him with you. 

The red numbers flashed 3:01 am as you rolled over, wincing slightly at the movement before taking a breath. You could call him. He’d pick up you knew he would. But you also knew he had a game at the moment and the last thing you wanted was to make him too tired to play. 

Before you could stop yourself you were reaching for your phone and finding his contact. Just talking wasn't what you wanted - all you wanted was to melt into his hold and try and forget about the pain in your abdomen.

Maybe you should get one of his hoodies - scratch that you were definitely stealing one for this reason when he got back.

“Hello?” His voice was thick with sleep and a pang of guilt shot through you. You’d woken him up. “Baby? You okay?” Art sounded slightly more awake now as he heard your shaky breathing down the line. 

You silently cursed yourself as tears began to swim in your vision - your hormones really were fucked. “I shouldn’t have called.” You shook your head wiping at your eyes. Art sighed rubbing a palm over his eyes. “No. No, you’re okay. It’s okay I don’t mind.” He soothed rolling over to check the time. “I need to get up soon anyway. Needa be on the court for 5.” 

You winced slightly at the idea - you really thought he was torturing himself sometimes when it came to his training. “Have you slept at all?” 

You shook your head before remembering that he couldn’t actually see you and murmured a small. “No.”

Art sighed sitting against his headboard as he pursed his lips in thought. He had a good idea of how to get you to sleep - though it would be easier in person.

“I need you to do something for me okay?”

PAGE BREAK

You couldn’t remember falling asleep. All you knew was that one moment you were talking about your plans for the next day and Art’s match and the next moment the sun was up and the call was ended. 

The pain had subsided a little but you still felt miserable. You were sore and tired and just wanted your boyfriend back. He’d done everything he could last night even when he’d had a busy day coming up.

“I’m gonna be playing all day but I’ll call you on Sunday alright? I’ll text when I can.”

You’d texted him once to say you were feeling better but other than that you'd left him alone. You’d been enough of a pain last night and the last thing your hormone-addled brain needed was the thought that you were annoying him.

The movie you’d settled on after finding every blanket you owned and gathered all your chocolate was working slightly to distract you yet time seemed to be moving at a snail's pace. Every time you’d checked what had felt like 5 hours had max been 10 minutes and you’d long since given up hope that Art would call.

It was just you, your blankets, the hot water bottle, and all the snacks you could think of to distract yourself from the pain still stirring in your stomach and your boyfriend's absence. Falling asleep had done nothing but make you miss him even more than before.

The thought of your phone ringing was the only thing that kept you sane.

PAGE BREAK

Thump

“Shit…” 

Your eyes slowly open, and you take a moment to adjust to the darkness that is now in your dorm. When did you fall asleep and who was in your room? You frown at the wall for a moment before your eyes widen. 

You only gave one person a key to your dorm.

Faster than you’d moved all weekend you turn over a smile pulling at your lips as your eyes land on your boyfriend smiling sheepishly from by your desk. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Art murmured kicking his tennis bag to the side.

“You're back early.” Your voice broke slightly as the onslaught of emotions you’d been holding in all week seemed to finally topple over as the relief of finally having him back hit. 

Art turned in alarm at the sound of your breath hitching his hoodie being discarded onto the floor as he moved closer to your bed. “Hey. Hey, it’s okay.” His hand smoothed down your hair a small smile pulling at his lips as he looked you over. “Why are you crying?” He couldn’t help the small laugh that seemed to escape his lips as you sat up immediately crowding into his space. 

“Missed you.” You sniffled feeling his arms wrap around you as he pulled you into his lap. “I missed you too.” He hummed rubbing a hand over your back. He’d taken the first bus back the minute his match had ended. He’d barely been able to focus on the match knowing that you’d probably been staring at your phone hiding away in your room by yourself. The idea alone made his heart hurt.

“C’mon.” Art gently shifted you back to the bed before standing. He sent you a reassuring smile before quickly stripping out of his hoodie and pants and climbing back into your bed. The moment he was in reach your fingers curled around his arm before shifting closer until you were pressed right against him.

A small sigh of contentment left your lips as you shifted slightly to lay your head on his chest, your fingers tracing shapes over his chest as you finally relaxed. “You feeling any better?” He asked after a moment. His voice was quiet as he pressed his lips to your head for a moment as his fingers ran over your shoulder.

“A little.” Your lips pressed against his shoulder for a moment as you breathed in the lingering scent of aftershave which always seemed to stick to his skin. Art’s hand travelled to your hair his fingers tangling into the strands as he left himself relax knowing that you were at least content again.

He made a mental note to go to the store first thing and buy you anything and everything you wanted as an apology for leaving you alone. 

Next time you were coming with him.

[multiheadcanons]

I TELEPATHICALLY CHANNEL ALL OF MY PERIOD PAINS AND TRANSFER IT TO THE MERCS AND DONT CHANGE THE PRONOUNS.

scout: scout is god’s favorite. he exercises so often that he doesn’t really experience cramps, and though his cycle is heavy it only lasts a few days. serious mood swings too. don’t show him any sad shit because it will profoundly affect him and he will cry. and then he’ll get mad at you because he’s crying. then you have to go make amends. and you better do it right or you’ll piss him off more. tries not to jump as often because he hates the feeling of it when he’s on his period.

soldier: no noticeable change but the cravings go crazy. literally posted in the kitchen at all times, if not cooking something staring intently at the microwave, honestly he’s probably doing both. likes the heat of the oven on his stomach. someone get him a rice sock to put in the microwave— actually maybe don’t. that’s a weapon. you just gave him a weapon. he’ll actually fight you with it if he gets pissed off enough. please don’t get hit by soldier’s rice sock.

pyro: posted in the shower, and it’s like a sauna in there. the heat relaxes their muscles; and they feel a little closer to normal. on the field, they do their best to not let it affect them, but sometimes the blood pooling in the suit makes them want to throw up. can’t handle the smell of it as they literally bake in their suit. they’re in the shower if they’re not on the field. and they’ve never been more grateful for their bed being so soft.

demo: cramping, bleeding, and pissy. will take a page out of scout’s book and switch out his grenade launcher for his sword and run more often to alleviate the cramps. can’t take any medication for any of the pains because he drinks too much, so he doubles the dose when he takes aspirins for the hangovers and calls it a day. also is in bed if he isn’t on the field. and unnecessarily touchy. the pressure of a hug feels good on his back. just starts draping himself across anyone who’s unfortunate enough to sit in the same room as him, and closes his eyes and tries to sleep. the team has learned it’s because he wants some pressure placed on his stomach. they’ll generally oblige for him. it’s not too much to ask for a belly rub here and there.

heavy: the cramps don’t bother him. the mood swings he can handle… mainly. it’s the cravings. the cravings kill him. there is no reason he should want a deep fried pickle encrusted in a fruity pebble beer batter and garnished with cilantro and lime, but dammit does he so bad. that’s when he starts making scooby-doo level sandwiches. and he’s so sentimental. it doesn’t seem so, but the random “i value you as a member of the team” from heavy goes so far for the team’s morale. dont cry about it, because he will tear up and reaffirm that you are loved and he loves you. and don’t let him and scout sync up or they’re both going to watch sad movies and cry on each other’s shoulders. what saps.

engineer: god’s favorite… kinda. generally light cycles, no cramps, but they last like a week and a half and his body in general just aches. back hurts, legs hurt, arms hurt, shoulders hurt, major headaches. he’s pounding ibuprofen like it’s going out of style. he could really use a massage, but he feels awkward complaining. so he grits his teeth and gets to work. more sour than normal, but it’s not mood swings. he is in physical pain. it’s like he can feel every bone in his body, and he’s feeling them age in real time. sometimes, if the doctor catches him eating ibuprofen, engie can get a quick massage out of him. enough to give temporary relief from the aches. obviously not enough to give real relief, but enough that whichever body part isn’t working works… a little more. the first time engie got a massage, the doctor just started firmly knocking on his tibia, and engie’s eyes were opened to what it could potentially feel like to have a bolt screwed into his body. his legs felt like jelly, and he had never felt better for battle!

medic: dead in the infirmary. leave him alone. bad cramps, thick clots in his cycles. luckily they only last about five days but he is in pain pretty much every day of it. it pisses him off. it’s exhausting, he’s exhausted, and he wears way too much white and cream to be bleeding the way he does. takes it out on the field. he’ll fistfight you if you get close enough for his arms to reach. fuck the bonesaw, these hands got guaranteed crits. prefers cold compresses over warm ones, though he knows they’re less effective. warming devices overheat him too quickly to use them often, and he prefers to be cold. the ubers help a lot, but once the charge is over the pain returns. at that point he’s taking the whole uterus out. fuck the dumb shit. normally asleep on the operating table, and if you catch him slipping you’ll see blood on his pants. if you bring it up he’ll kill you.

sniper: dead in the van. leave him alone. not as bad as it could be, in comparison to the other mercs, but the second the bleeding starts he is pissed off at worst and irrevocably annoyed at best. cramps hit him very specifically as he’s sitting. and he sits a lot on the job. but standing hurts his feet. he can’t win any way he slices it, and that pisses him off. he starts feeling some type of way about his job, which pisses him off, he’s just very pissy on his period. ultra mega major shit talker. and he will back it up if he has to, then be pissed he got himself in that position. jarate is shelved for the moment. he might be gross but he’s not a freak. the period cravings go crazy, hide the whole fridge. but if he goes in there and the fridge is empty, guess what? he’s gonna be pissed. he will beg someone to get in that kitchen and cook. he will pay for a hot meal. he’d pay ten times the market price for a bag of chips right now. he’s on the verge of tears from the hunger he’s feeling. then his stomach hurts because he’s eating like garbage. and guess what…. yeah you know, he’s gonna get pissed off.

spy: dead in the smoking room. leave him alone. god’s most hated. body aches, mood swings, migraines, cramps for a week. some of those cramps will drop him to the floor, and he hasn’t quite learned how to not react to the pain, so he stays in the smoking room for as long as he can. he’s on as much pain medication as he can be on without destroying his organs. cigarette consumption doubles. bags under his eyes from uncomfortable sleep. on the verge of tears pretty much at all times, and he never knows why. he’s just more distraught than usual. but if you actually piss him off he’ll just shoot you in the foot.

[utilitycaster]

A couple things before I do this as I said I would here

I’ve decided it’s more effective in the long term to bring up a handful of people than everyone who’s ever been obnoxious, mostly to maintain ongoing leverage, ie, maybe if people leave me alone they can get away with their lower-key shitty behavior, and if people don’t, then they won’t.

Do not harass nor send hate to the people I've mentioned; take the high ground. Blocking, vagueing and openly going “what the fuck is wrong with that guy (gn)” however is chill, but I won’t be taking anons personally that are pile-ons on these people because that is not the point of this exercise.

Similarly I just delete anon hate or post it if I have a funny enough response for it but it won’t elicit this kind of thing for various reasons I don’t care to get into right now.

If my good opinion is important to you, really, the quickest way to lose it is to treat me expressing my own opinions on my blog as a personal attack on you. I wasn’t specifically judging you until you decided I was; now, I will ruin your day or week and I won’t feel sorry.

Now, I’m going to be honest. The reason I haven’t done this earlier despite the shit I and many others have waded through all campaign is that the vast majority of people who engage in harassment, hate, or “how dare you exist and have opinions that aren’t mine, don’t you know the world revolves around me” will then immediately make a post like this, such as the loser who led to this: (rest below the cut)

source

To be clear I do hope they get whatever presumably important medical procedure this is and I too am in opposition to transphobia on an active political level, however, if you take your own shit out on me, a random woman on the internet, I will continue to fight for what I believe to be your fundamental human rights like gender expression and healthcare but there is no right you have that prevents me from calling you a stupid thin-skinned loser and that I feel sorry for anyone who has the misfortune to love you as I suspect you’re incapable of truly returning it, and also your blorbo still sucks. This has been: if you attempt to treat me even slightly like your punching bag, I punch back.

With that in mind let’s go to the people I’m talking about today. If you're not into this, skip the cut.

I think it goes without saying that warrior/inrecovery was an embarrassing blight on this fandom and imo/dna shippers’ steadfast laxity in taking out the trash is yet another reason why this ship ain’t it chief. I’m posting all of the aliases under which they attacked me and others, but they flamed out during the Laudna addiction metaphor and hopefully got help, though as you can see their blog for the past like, decade, is them attacking people over femslash ships, so idk if it’s gonna stick, pals. Anyway, they have a distinctive style so hopefully if they ever rear their ugly head again I’ll be able to get and post an IP address. I did have some suspicions about Tulsa OK but they are not sufficiently founded. Anyway: you can also find them under tlb/wc (they use that one to make death threats); thatguy/10592; clearcowboy/angel; screechingalpha/nightmare; and holysoul/enthusiast, all of which are still up and have the evidence as of posting

Honorable mention to the person who called me a hypocrite for checks notes liking callowmoore more than Imo/dna (series of asks from November 11th, 2023 in which they harassed not just me but many people who had simply interacted with my posts). I have my suspicions as to who it was [noted tar pit from Westphalia, Germany absintheheartbeat, who I also think sent this Dorym ask] but as I have no proof that’s really all there is. While we’re talking about generic tar pits disconnectedkat is a discourse blog that is just generally a piece of shit and is one of those people who clutches pearls about HOW DARE YOU TRY TO WIN AT FANDOM WITH LEFTIST CAUSES ignoring the big elephant in the room of “countless C3 fans lecturing incompetently about this being a revolutionary anticolonialist narrative and how we’re just status quo loving conservatives and then crying when we point out that they are being shitty in real life.” If you are one of those people reading this and finding yourself getting huffy, do take a look at the people mentioned throughout this and ask yourself: are you okay with them? Because if so, then your issue isn’t “it’s mean to call people stupid and attack them on a moral basis”; your issue is “it’s mean to call me stupid”, and you are part of the problem, and, moreover, I am in your walls.

Theshepardshuffle deactivated but I do want to point them out here just to note that I have in fact suffered more than Job and been more steadfast than any US Marine at the hands of imo/dna shippers for the sin of saying “this ship isn’t very good.” I’d also want to point out that they are why I started checking on people I’ve blocked. See, this is a side blog, so if you block me I cannot interact with you, but I can still see you, and our buddy shep joined tumblr, blocked me, and then posted discourse about me constantly not realizing I could literally see it (and to be clear. I know people I have blocked can see this. I hope they do.)

Anyway, the main event: let’s talk about noted racist idiot hecate astralley/wright (main blog bone/heat), to my knowledge a white American cultural Christian, seen here (archive link if they delete it) mocking someone who found Bells Hells’ behavior justifyingly reminiscent of a conquering colonialist army as their family experienced, and horrifying for it (note: this mention is made with everypigeondeserveslove’s knowledge and permission; they are well aware of this bullshit). Hecate decided it was a good time to be a truly unfeeling piece of shit about this in the service of checks notes convincing people that Bells Hells was an anticolonialist narrative. They did, to be fair, just start reading Wretched of the Earth, so they do know who they’re talking over. I mean about. They also accused me of, when I pointed out this article’s discussion of history and whether it was written by the victors, Godwin’s law, which is not really what that means (saying ‘this phrase has its origins in a lot of hateful groups who used it to evade their responsibility in historical events, and also even if history is written by the victors, that doesn’t mean every alternate viewpoint is automatically wrong’ is simply factual), then turned around and claimed, in a truly stunningly insolent case of putting words in someone’s mouths, that criticism of Imogen and Laudna on the basis of their unkind actions was akin to calling them degenerates (archive)to the point that people were confused. This is an ongoing pattern with that circle; you’ll see it with cringefae/compilation too of just. Making shit up. 

What you need to know about them is in the end they’re mostly just a hypocrite and a loser. They’re really into 9/11 jokes, which to be clear I’m not personally squeamish about, but I also don’t go around screaming about how cruel the fandom is to Aeor, a city that is entirely pretend, while joking about real-life civilian deaths. Absolutely terminal case of caring more about pretend people than real ones. As for the idiot part, interesting to claim at one point that Orym would be saved by the Wild Mother and should, and this is a direct quote from someone who, again, is only now reading the first book listed the “Notable Theoreticians And Theories” list on the Postcolonialism wikipedia page, that he should “read theory” and then claim to have Gotten It From Hearthdell after spending much of the intervening time, as discussed, arguing for the deaths of the gods. In fact, I recommend looking back through their blog in depth for a combination of tiktok-brained politics, an utter lack of empathy, and Consistently Getting It Wrong And Lying And Pretending They Didn’t. 

Second person is cringefae/compilation. When they’re not throwing tantrums interspersed with gifs of the pink My Little Pony, or throwing different tantrums about Kipperlily Copperkettle, or throwing different tantrums about Essek and Verin Thelyss existing within the narrative, you can find them throwing tantrums about how everyone but them is a bigot, often in the main tag. This has been commented on by the general fandom, and it is notable that even others in their circle often won’t touch their vent posts (also many of said posts directly attack others in their circle, which is funny to me). Now I’ll just keep it very basic: I think what’s going on is that cringefae does not think they are a very good person, deep down, but is trying to project an image of being a very good person, and so they have decided that people in the fandom, of which I was public enemy number one before they seemingly discovered the native text block function, are the Real Bad People, and don’t seem to have the ability to process. Now the thing about cringefae is that if you dislike a character OR like but would enjoy them experiencing some fictional horrors and that character is not Essek Thelyss; the Briarwoods; a character I personally like such as Fjord when they are on the warpath (they actually seem to personally really like Fjord and I think high key hate that I like him because they have basically no consistent identity other than contrarianism; they do not seem to like anything, really, other than possibly the pink My Little Pony); or a white cis straight man that they do not headcanon as not that, then they will call you a bigot. Now: you may notice, with a quick perusal of their blog, that they believe Ludinus Da’leth to be a racist who started a race war, which would imply Essek Thelyss is nonwhite, but they have definitely argued against this as well, and recently argued both in favor of Ludinus having a redemption arc and also that they don’t believe in zero-effort redemption arcs, because again, there is zero logical coherence other than attacking people they don’t like for whatever reason. I don’t even have links; just scroll down their blog for a few minutes and you’ll get the vibe (bad). They too have a tendency to make up a guy and get mad at that guy (and have to clarify they're just making shit up in the notes); possibly to assume the worst of the fandom in order to feel better about themself. And whereas I think astralley/wright might know deep down they're attacking real people to defend pretend people and hoping no one will notice and call them on it, cringefae seems to be genuinely too stupid to understand the concept of "it can be interesting for a story to be tragic." They also tend to frequently insult the positions of people in their circle and conflate everything they don't like into one person; again, horse-immorality (deactivated) was one of the loudest "bor'dor is a dog" people and cringefae liked them and now is like IT'S SUPER RACIST TO SAY BOR'DOR WAS A DOG because again, it's not about any position, it's just about finding some arbitrary scapegoat and attacking them so that you can feel righteous, and in doing so, they become a cesspit of a person.

I think the kindest thing you could say about cringefae is that in their incoherence it all kind of cancels out, and absolutely no one really seems to take them seriously. They seem entirely unaware of the concept of crying wolf and how maybe if you say that a woman who checks notes happens to openly prefer the canon art of Jester, Yasha, and Imogen to fan redesigns, canon art that was checks notes designed by women and checks notes drawn by women is a “soft MRA” you might be wildly irresponsible in your accusations to the point of eroding an ability in the fandom to actually point out misogynistic views (also, hanging out with astrall/eywright does kind of fuck your image as caring about the oppressed). It’s accusations as a tool against the people they’ve decided are The Bad Ones. And really that’s the thing. I know we’re all online here, this is explicitly my fandom sideblog and I try to keep it light on politics not because they’re not vitally important but because I do see Tumblr largely as an escape and not as a news source, but I would bet good money this is someone who doesn’t like, do anything other than post. Anyway, just kind of a stream of nonstop constantly shifting incoherent bile worth a block. One of those cases where you're like "have people...just put up with this person in their fandom spaces forever? why? don't fandoms deserve to not have a missing stair like this?"

[fatkish]

I too have ADHD and I was wondering if you have any shoto x ADHD reader headcannons you’d be willing to share? Thanks a bunch and have a wonderful day 😘

Shoto x ADHD Reader

He has saved the links to many reputable websites that sell fidgets of all sorts

Literally has a designated pocket for your fidgets in his bag that way you always have something to fidget with

Uses his dad’s money to buy whatever you need

If you have trouble focusing in class then he’ll take notes and take the time to tutor you and help you understand

If you’re the kind of ADHD that can’t sit still then he’ll get an exercise bike pedal that can go underneath your desk

He’ll always help redirect your focus to whatever it needs to be on

He’s extremely patient and never gets mad when you’re struggling

If you take medication then he’ll always check to make sure you took it/them

He has study sessions at his house

His dad might not approve of you but that’s all the more reason to do it

If you forgot your lunch don’t worry, you can have some of his or he’ll buy you some

He enjoys taking care of you and helping you because he didn’t get to do a lot of that domestic stuff growing up

He’s always keeping an eye on you and making sure you don’t fall behind on your studies

He researches focusing techniques and tools so you can focus when you need it

If you forget to take your meds and go to school he’ll take you to the nurses office and make sure you’re okay before he goes to class

He’ll walk you home or have his driver drive you so that you don’t get lost since he worries you’ll chase a butterfly and get lost and not be able to find your way home

He has an extra phone charger that is the same type as your phone so he can charge yours in case you forgot yours

If you forget your homework at home, don’t worry, he’s prepared with a copy of your homework since you guys normally do it together

[raainberry]

Cross The Line - I

« It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. »

Mina x gn!reader

synopsis - if you promise not to step foot in her hospital again, the line disappears, right?

wordcount - 3K

T/W - resident!mina x fighter!reader. mentions of violence, injuries, food. (reader is involved in an underground fight club) medical environment. angst for now and dahyun guest starring😎

A/N - i have decided to make this into a movie. it serves as a prologue to the series but tbh i feel like you can get it without it if you want. Enjoy!

You don’t know if she noticed you.

The minutes passed by, and so did she; a few times. You watched from your seat as you waited for your name to be called, various scenes from silly incidents to more serious ones, old people to kids...

The place was bustling, you could feel your head getting heavier, only keeping it up just in case Mina appeared. She seemed busy, focused. She must have a lot on her mind.

How selfish would it be to wish you were on it too?

You wondered, feeling the familiar tug at your heart when she took the time to reassure a little girl across the room. You could make out the tears staining her cheeks despite how far you were sitting, and witnessed how quickly they dried up under Mina’s gentle voice.

How wrong would it be to feel jealous?

You shook the ridiculous thought away, just in time to hear your name finally get called out. The voice was familiar, but not the one you were hoping for. Sweet, but not enough.

Your gaze left Mina’s figure to meet her dear friend’s, a nurse you’d gotten to know more than the one you heart longed for. She let you call her by her name, but only if you promised not to overstep the set of obvious boundaries that came with it.

You gave your word, although it was tempting to take it back. Everytime Dahyun assisted in your care, you fought the need to ask her anything about Mina. You only faltered once, anesthesia having gotten the best of you after a long set of stitches.

You had the decency to wait until Mina stepped out of the room before asking about her love life. That’s how Dahyun came to know of this… mess of emotions between the two of you.

She never answered you, but she did have questions to which she tried to pull the answers to from Mina herself a few hours later.

Nearly a year later now, and she was still trying. Pieced a few of them together over time and rare, quiet wine drunken nights, but it was nowhere near enough to uncover the reasons.

The ones behind your visits, not your interest in her best friend. She has glasses but she’s not blind.

Although she did wonder what still had you so hung up after years.

If you knew yourself, you probably wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Do you guys have lunch breaks?" Your voice was quiet in an attempt to conceal how awkward you felt.

You were sat on a similar table as your last time here, only surrounded by proper walls this time. Still as blank and unstimulating, letting your mind roam free and back to Mina.

Dahyun paused in her tasks.

This was her third time seeing you, and it was the first time you’d spoken to her without her needing to pull the words out of you.

She cleared her throat, setting down the tools she’d just used to get your cast off. "We do.” She answered hesitantly. “Why wouldn't we?"

The room fell silent once again as you gazed at your weakened arm, turning her question rhetorical. Dahyun only chuckled at the sight before offering some reassurance, "I'm going to show you a few rehabilitation exercises. Your arm will be back to normal in no time."

You simply nodded, your eyes glued to the foreign feeling in your limb. "Do I need to rest it?"

Dahyun’s eyebrows furrowed at your question, but kept her curiosity to herself. Not everyone has her knowledge, she tended to forget it so she cut you some slack although something in her itched to be nosy.

She watched as you tentatively moved your arm, clenching your fist as if trying to regain familiarity with it. "Just avoid putting excessive strain on it.” She finally said, causing you to stop. “No intense use for a couple of weeks, and it should be fine."

"A couple weeks..." You muttered. This wasn’t good. Money was getting short. “Can I have some paper and a pen?”

It was getting hard to do, but Dahyun concealed her confusion again before fulfilling your request, observing as you used your weakened hand to scribble something barely legible.

“Does that count as exercise?" You playfully questioned, causing Dahyun to chuckle.

“It could, yeah." She nodded and you smiled, glancing back at your writing before handing it to her.

“Hopefully she can read it.”

You don’t need to say anything else. Not even her name. Dahyun knew who you were referring to.

You were sure of it, but she managed to make you second guess - yourself and your own intentions - when she tensed up in front of you.

Her hand didn’t reach for the piece you offered of yourself. As futile and impersonal as it was, you couldn’t help but take offense at her doubts.

“Please.” You muttered. It was pathetic. It felt like it too. But it was worth the discomfort if it meant convincing the woman standing before you. Her silence was painful, it almost made you laugh. She wasn’t even the one you were trying to reach.

Were you even allowed to feel so troubled yet?

Rightfully so. Dahyun took forever to make up her mind, staring long enough for your arm to fatigue.

Part of her didn’t want to enable and push her best friend into what looked like a hopeless abyss. Mina deserved much more. She deserved something safer, easier than whatever you brought to the table.

Then again this wasn’t her place to say. This wasn’t her game to play.

She just hoped Mina wouldn’t dismiss its risks.

—

Mina looked down at the paper in her hand, her features tensed in a mix of surprise and apprehension as she processed the words she’d managed to decipher.

« I’ll try really hard not to visit ever again, so if you ever miss me and have a moment to spare : xx xxx xxx. »

She took the numbers in as they slowly burned themselves into her mind. She tried to suppress that small hope within her as it prayed you’d written them well enough.

Needless to say it was a vain attempt. Her thoughts were scattered and she struggled to compose herself.

“What are you going to do?" Dahyun's voice broke an eerie silence that had settled itself in the break room, and Mina exhaled softly, her gaze lingering on your message.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, meeting Dahyun’s eyes. "It's complicated, you know that."

Dahyun nodded, understanding. Or at least she hoped it came across as because quite frankly she had no idea.

It was complicated, yes, but for her, the next step was a no-brainer.

"Maybe it's worth considering," she offered, her words gentle. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

That pulled a chuckle out of the black haired woman next to her. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, but someone who needs to be stitched up every few months can’t not be involved in something dumb or careless.” Dahyun pointed out, but it only amused Mina even more. “I’m serious.” The nurse chuckled despite herself, “Something’s not right.”

“I can take care of myself.” Mina reassured, “I’m sure it’s nothing too bad. Careless maybe, but not dumb either.”

“How would you know?” Dahyun probed as Mina piqued at the nosiest part of her.

Mina only shrugged though, considering the paper in her hand. The weight of your message briefly pulled her thoughts back to the unspoken moments, the lingering emotions that built and shaped this odd link between the two of you.

"Just a feeling.”

—

“Looking to kill your winning streak?”

The coach’s voice resonated in the warehouse and you huffed out a breath, keeping your eyes from rolling back into your brain only to look at him instead. “What are you being so shy for? Hit it, damn it!”

You stayed silent, your jaw clenched shut to keep the thoughts in your head. The punching bag still swung back and forth behind you as you reached for the small bottle of water he was handing you.

The small ‘thank you’ you mumbled was enough for him to get off your back about respect and whatnot, but he still clung onto it about your arm.

“It’s been weeks, Y/n, you’ve had plenty of time to recover, come on…” He said, opting for a more gentle approach.

The switch up didn’t surprise you. He wasn’t exactly stable, but he was good at his job. Good enough to run this whole thing smoothly. You’d respect him if he weren’t so corrupt, pulling at big kids desperate enough for life to ruin it for them. People like you. Exposing them, showing them off in a violent spectacle only the richest could afford to enjoy.

The scheme was vicious. Designed to make staying in the only way out. To make him the only one you could turn to when life’s biggest troubles got too big to ignore.

He knew you well enough by now to know the gentle card wouldn’t work, but that’s also how he knew he had to give it a shot anyway. If not take action, you could open up.

You could, but you wouldn’t. Not to him. Your relationship didn’t allow it, as much as he tried to shape it that way over the years. Not that he was pushing it, he was decently nice. He cared. Just not enough.

You could feel it in the way he watched you, silent while his eyes questioned whatever you did he didn’t understand - which was almost always linked to whatever didn’t fill his pockets.

The edge of the ring pushed into your thighs as you took a seat there, staring into the space in front of you. Your gaze was vacant, you could feel yourself zone out, thoughts begging to drown into your heart and its selfish desire to burn over Mina’s absence; but the coach shaking his head kept you over the surface.

Seeing you space out was new, but he didn’t like how familiar the sight was getting.

You expected his rough tone to spit at you any second, but he surprisingly stayed calm. Too calm. So your eyes left the void to check on him, and his demeanor was all but reassuring.

You could feel his impatience grow by the second, the frustration practically radiating from him was off-putting, but the silence… It was as scary as it was encouraging.

“I need more time.” You finally said.

The words didn’t please him. They didn’t make you happy either. You’d love to be able to hit that bag as you used to just months ago.

“We can’t do that. People are damn near jumping the fence to see you fight, Y/n, you have to come back.”

“They’ll be fine.” You brushed off, feeling the guilt slowly weigh off your shoulders at the desperation in his voice. Something about hearing him beg, even implicitly.

You suddenly rose to your feet, feeling yourself growing wings as you clung onto the third rope of the ring. Entertaining the conversation seemed pointless, so you turned your back on him to get back to training. Something he made sure to prove as a mistake... He didn’t hesitate to burn those wings at the first sight of them.

He never did.

“But you won’t.” You heard him say. The words were heavy, probably because of how fast he’d thrown them at you.

Your features twitched, eyebrows creasing as you tried to argue, “I’m not ready.”

The weakness was bitter, obvious and unfair. Unfitting for a moneymaker like you. If anything you should be the one dictating things.

Yet he somehow always kept the reigns.

“You never were.”

—

His last words ran laps in your mind.

As hard as you tried to alter their course, nothing seemed to stop them. Nothing seemed to change.

The following days melted into themselves, fogging your memory with nothing but defeat.

You felt disoriented. Hopeless. Hurt. Yet somewhat motivated by it all. Problem was you had no goal to put it into.

This fighting thing proved itself to be nothing but a fickle string of glory. A glory you failed to even enjoy. Sure, the underground and illegal part of it didn’t help, but everyone around you seemed to do just fine.

Maybe you’ll ask them about it tomorrow. How they do it. For now you paced around the room, searching for a solution, only for your brain to come up with thoughts of her. You’d long passed the point of it being and feeling pathetic, surrendering to the insanity of the situation. Your soul yearned for the sense of peace she brought with her mere presence, and her absence was suffocating.

Why? It’s not like you were close. All she did was flirt back, it was no reason to get so attached.

You felt insane. Out of mind. All because of that bridge you’d humiliated yourself into trying to hold together.

Maybe giving her your number was a mistake. Maybe you’d have been better off keeping your distance.

Crossing those rarely ever was good.

—

Later that day, your apartment was cloaked in a hushed ambiance, the only source of light emanating from the soft glow of the TV screen as you absently filled up on what felt like a last meal.

A light, protein heavy collation you had no pleasure in swallowing. The only reason you were doing so was not to pass out mid-fight the next day.

You couldn’t go back to her. Not there.

So you folded into the old routine, only finding comfort in your favorite show playing in the background. It was a nice, fleeting distraction from the weight of your impending return to the fight club.

The night was slowly falling silent outside your walls. Your plate emptied itself slowly as episodes followed each other with few breaks in between. You nearly fell asleep from the monotony of it all, but the sound of your phone vibrating against the table jolted you back to full consciousness.

The screen had lit itself up, drawing your attention to the screen. An unknown number and a message that only made sense after connecting a few dots.

« I have a moment. »

Mina's words, a lifeline in the midst of this mounting anxiety.

Your fingers hovered over the screen, the weight of your feelings pulling them down to write and erase every word that came to mind before settling on a much simpler approach.

« Would you mind if I called? »

On the other side of the screen, Mina’s heart fluttered much to her dismay. Needless to say she was apprehensive, eyes fixated on your text while its content resonated in her mind. It stirred a few feelings she’d kept away and guarded for far too long now.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to, but she knew she had to try. She owed it to herself. She’d risked too much, jeopardized too much of her sanity over you to leave without answers.

So she called.

This type of adrenaline was nothing compared to the one you got in the ring. The ring, it was cold. Chilling. The things you did, that you’ve done to get to where you were… It was a rush you were getting used to.

This one was different. Warm. Thrilling. It was new. A rush you looked forward to. No matter how much you denied yourself it.

“Hello?” You spoke into the phone after raising it to your ear. The line was silent for a second before you heard the soft timbre of her voice greeting you back.

Three weeks was the shortest time you’d gone without hearing it yet there you were; practically giggling to yourself over the few words you managed to exchange. The first ones that didn’t revolve around an injury or her scolding you for using her first name.

You made sure not to use it though, as you told her about this colorful place you liked to hang at. It wasn’t the most vibrant, but you found the atmosphere to be fitting for a talk. Cute even, if you’d dared to say.

Mina couldn’t help the flutter of her heart, the burning in her veins traveling all the way to her cheeks as she listened to you trying not to stutter over your words as you basically asked her out.

She could - and she would - have agreed to meet you in the following second, but something held her back, unlike the words pouring out of her mouth with no control, “Sounds lovely. But I don’t know…”

A small silence took over the line as you thought, “What… do you mean you don’t know?”

“It’s just that…” Mina sighed, “The hospital—”

“I’m not a patient anymore, Mina.” You cut her off, desperately clinging onto the small opening. Mina could sense that, letting her frustration slip into her tone.

“Yes, but for how long?” Another silence. Heavier this time. Longer. “We can’t know, right?”

Mina’s voice rung through the line, startling a thought you’d been dying to voice out to her.

“You can’t, but you do know something.”

“What?”

“You know exactly why I can’t make sure to never come back.” You partially confessed in hopes she would understand. “Don’t act dumber than you are, Dr. Mina.”

“That’s the thing, Y/n. I’m not.” She sighed. “I’m not. I don’t know why you show up in such states, I shouldn’t want to know as bad as I do, but something about you makes me—”

Mina stopped herself, realizing what her words were leading to. Somewhere a little too real and raw too quickly. She fought the tears begging to relieve her frustrations, and opted for another sigh. One soft, barely noticeable and far too weak to have any effect on her state of mind.

“It feels like I’m playing with fire.”

For the first time since you’d heard it, the sound of her voice hurt. You could tell how much it cost her to say those words. Just above a whisper, tainted by the shadows of her unshed tears. Ever so softly, like it would glide over the lines, the cracks staining the distance and reach you with no consequences.

“Listen…” You started. “I know you’ve been… curious about me. I know you’ve made your guesses, your bets, and I don’t know what those are. I can’t say I don’t care, because I do, but I have enough self-awareness to know they’re not the most positive.”

You paused in order to gather your thoughts. The next words you’d utter felt like the most important of your life. How worthless had it been… “I feel crazy just asking you this - I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but… I just want to see you. Talk to you, anything that’s not you fixing me up.”

There was a small silence again. It’s agonizing, not being able to tell where this was going. All you could do was wait. You were tired of it but it was suddenly worth it all. The pain, the silence, the longing. The quiet tears you let go off in the dark, the memories and wonders of her gentle soul tormenting you days after your stays.

“I want to see you too.”

[kurishiri]

00 . . . “ the hunter and the cursed ones’ medical records ”

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties for characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— this story is told from Roger’s point of view. it’s recommended, but not necessarily required, to read the second prologue before reading this.

— cw: none.

At an unexpected time, a pure white evil had descended upon England.

The castle had since suddenly become more noisy, but the one who had to pay attention especially——was someone like myself.

Alfons: I’m coming in, Roger. Victor entrusted me to hand you this book...

A: I must say, this is quite a sight to behold.

Documents were scattered everywhere in the room, leaving no room to maneuver or step around, and Al, seeing this, furrowed his brows.

Alfons: I can’t help but wonder if you’ve made a sore blunder and just up and left in the middle of the night?

A: All that said, I do hold my doubts on whether it’s even possible to run away with that big body of yours...

Roger: Trying to start up another argument as always, huh.

R: I was just thinking I should sort out all these different types of research documents.

Alfons: And why is that?

Roger: ‘Cause of Vogel.

R: Not like I know if they’ve got some ulterior motive hidden up their sleeve, but in those cases there’s no such thing as exercising too much caution.

Alfons: Seldom comes a time when I do agree with you, but it seems we do see eye to eye in this matter.

Al picked up one of the documents from the floor with his fingers.

Alfons: Well, I’ll be, this is our medical records [1], no?

Roger: That it is, it’s highly confidential too.

Alfons: Height, weight, medical history...

A: Dear me, to have this written as well. It’s as though the notion of privacy is nonexistent!

Roger: Don’t go taking my tenacity so lightly now?

R: Well, all that said, it’s not like I don’t know where you’re coming from. To know everything about someone else is basically the same as grasping their weaknesses.

R: But, on the flip side, you could also say that if I’m the one holding onto such information, I could save you guys’ lives.

Alfons: Hah. I suppose it is a case of the same coin having two sides.

Roger: Pretty interesting stuff, right? See, for example, Jude—

Alfons: .........

A: Just how long do you plan on continuing this?

While playing with the document with his fingers as though having little interest in them,

ashy gray eyes looked my way.

(I’ve never talked about the real reason I’ve joined Crown.)

(That is, aside from this person before me, who’s an old acquaintance of mine, though begrudgingly so.)

Roger: What, you want me to pay more attention to you?

Alfons: Most definitely not. So by all means, do continue your unproductive research.

A: Well then, I’ve done what I needed to do here, so I will take my leave.

Roger: Wait, Al.

Alfons: What is it?

I waved Al’s medical record as I read it aloud.

Roger: Alfons Sylvatica. Bearer of the Mirror Curse.

R: Sound for someone who’s regularly unsystematic. Has a stomach that rivals that of a beast.

R: And...

R: A friend from the old times, whom I’d like to get along better with me.

Alfons: And that is exactly why Jude calls you a ‘quack of a doctor.’

That was all he said before he closed the door, the sound cold and robotic.

Roger: Haha, he’s cold as always.

Now alone in the room, silence fell upon me as I looked out the window.

Rays of sun that penetrated through the leaves of trees came through, giving the medical records a streak of light.

(All I said was that I had an interest in the Cursed ones, so I was doing research on them.)

(But, that)

——was a complete lie.

There was no way I would choose not to succeed my family, instead joining an organization who specialized in assassination just because I was ‘interested.’

The reason I joined Crown, was because it was a place where Cursed ones gathered.

And it was also a place directly under Her Majesty the Queen, so it was a perfect place to gather information.

“The Cursed ones”——it was an absurd fate, bestowed by the whims of God.

(And I——want to rid the world of Curses.)

(That was the reason I turned to Crown,)

(and it was my ambition for a long time now.)

And the medical records of Crown showed that very ambition,

as I’ve made meticulous records on every member.

——No, every member but one.

(The Queen’s Aide, Victor.)

(On his record, and his alone, there is not a single piece of useful information written down.)

As I stared at his medical record, I felt myself returning to a memory from the past.

When I first met Victor, it was at the hideout a serial killer was residing in.

By the time I arrived at the scene, the criminal had already drew his last breath, and only long, jet black hair flowed in the wind.

That man turned around, not uttering a sound.

When our eyes met, the man with eyes like jewels gave me a lax smile.

Victor: Good evening to you. The full moon tonight is quite beautiful, isn’t it.

first. next →

full masterlist 📄

NOTES:

[1] the apparent pronunciation (furigana) for this is [カルテ] (karute). It’s a Japanese loan word from the German word ‘Karte,’ which I believe translates to ‘card.’ In Japanese, though, it means a medical or clinical record for a patient. Anyway, any time you see ‘medical record,’ it is pronounced as karute.

[exquisink]

Make That Double, CH3 - Yan!SatoSugu x Fem!Reader [AO3]

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: non-con, lactation kink (with geto), cock warming (in both holes), fingering, rimming (fem. receiving), vibrator wands, anal (with dildo), groping, mentions of diet monitoring

Geto shows you a bit of mercy following… all of that. As he helps you settle in, he allows you to continue your graduate studies online via a heavily locked, proctored, and guarded computer, and under strict supervision by any of his devotees. You suppose you can’t complain in that regard; maybe he has some sense, knowing how expensive higher education already is, and you’re almost done, anyway. Once you graduate, he doesn’t have to worry about that, anymore, and he claims to be a patient, understanding man.

What a bucket of sheer bullshit.

There are other rules you have to follow. He puts you on certain medications, that he doesn’t discuss the purpose of at all. He makes you exercise, since he figures it best you maintain peak health. He plans to monitor your diet, but he’s not overly restrictive.

It’s crass, and it’s frankly unbelievable how quickly your life went to shit after working at that goddamn café. Funny how the most trivial decisions in your life can change the entire trajectory of it—for better or for worse. And this is so much worse than you have ever imagined. (And that imagination of yours doesn’t stretch very far, because you don’t want to entertain the possibility of just how much worse your situation can get. After all, you have bear witnessed to some unseen forces both Geto and Gojo are gifted with manipulating. You can’t even perceive it. So what the fuck?)

After submitting your assignments for the week—you’re thankful you can uphold at least one aspect of your life—you accompany the twins while Geto is off scamming his clients. You know very little of the cult he organizes, but apparently, it’s all just a big coverup. You don’t care to dig into the details, either. You have seen enough of what he is capable of doing, and that’s as much as you need to know.

Nanako shuffles the deck of cards for another round. The twins engage you in friendly games of Nines or B.S. It is actually sort of endearing they want to make you feel like you’re part of the family, and if you didn’t know any better, you might have fallen for it. But now that you know the reason Geto and Gojo targeted you in the first place is because they wanted you, you’re frightened of crossing them, as well.

Now you’re in the middle of a third round of B.S.  

“Okay, well, I’m putting down a 3—!” you lie through your teeth because all you have are Kings, Queens, and Aces, which Mimiko immediately calls you out on.

“B.S.! That’s a hefty hand of cards now!” she giggles with a little twinkle in her eyes that otherwise seem dull and lifeless.

You sigh in defeat, grinning as you swipe the hefty stack of cards in question and keep them steady in your hands. As long as the girls are enjoying themselves, you suppose.

“Well! I put down my only card which is a 4!!! I win!” Nanako laughs as she slams the card down on the low wooden table before doing a little victory dance.

“Wow, I haven’t played these card games since childhood. It brings back a lot of memories,” you comment, and Mimiko perks up at that.

“We hope you can make tons of new memories with us,” Mimiko replies. At that, you frown a bit.

“Girls,” you start, drumming your fingers along the table. “Forgive me if this is out of line to ask you, but why did you request me?”

“Because we like you,” Nanako answers quickly. She and Mimiko exchange a look.

“And we don’t want Master Geto to get lonely,” the twins say in unison.

Finally, Mimiko adds, as her eyes seem to understand more than she ever dares let on: “You seemed lonely, too, so we wanted you here with us.”

You are, you definitely concede to that, but this is not the remedy you had in mind.

“Master Geto is our hero,” Nanako babbles on with a fond smile. “He rescued us from a village when we were really small! The villagers were going to kill us because they thought we were heretics. But he killed them all before they could. So we owe him everything! We wouldn’t be alive without Geto!”

You freeze as you process the information. That’s a side to Geto you’re not sure you admire, because he still killed people as a means to an end. While to protect two girls who aren’t as innocent as they seem…you still aren’t wholly convinced of him being a hero in any sense of the word.

But maybe that doesn’t matter, because he’s a hero to these girls. It doesn’t seem to bother them what he does, because they blindly follow him.

“I see,” you mumble, handing your cards to Nanako as she shuffles the deck for a new game. You hear the opening door emit a slight creak and there enters Geto, smiling at the sight of you bonding with his girls who he holds dear to his heart. His heavy footsteps draw near, and your breath hitches. Instinctively, you rise to your feet to greet him.

“My little dove, I’m happy to see the twins enjoy your company so much already,” he drawls as he beckons you to come to him with a curl of his finger. You wordlessly obey. You don’t look into his eyes.

But then he tucks his bony fingers under your chin and lifts your head. Before bidding farewell to the girls,  

“Follow me,” he instructs, and you once again wordlessly obey, your feet already moving to follow him back to his bedroom.

At least you know the underground dungeon is a one-time thing…but that doesn’t make your situation any less difficult.

“I’m sorry I had to steal you away,” he sighs as he shuts the door before pinning you there. “I missed you too much.”

“I thought the girls were the only reason you chose me,” you retort, but there’s no true bite to your words. You know better than to try to fight back a force you don’t understand.

“True,” he concedes with a low hum, as he drags his finger along your jawline. You can’t stop yourself from wincing at his touch and he tuts at that. “But you must understand how much I desire you, too.”

“No, I don’t, I’m afraid,” you mumble and you hear him sigh once more, pressing a feathery light kiss to your forehead before pulling away.

“I merely took you away so we can further discuss this arrangement. As you know, you’re to remain with me. Satoru will make occasional visits here, and he plans on stopping by later in the week,” he rambles on. “I expect you already know what he expects. He has this thing about sharing, and he’s as fond of you as I am.”

“So what,” you stammer, as your timid eyes meet his. “Is this some kind of sick free use fantasy of his?”

Geto purses his lips. “Call it what you like. But if you knew what was best for you, you’d accept it. After all, I can’t have him be unfulfilled, hm? He’s dear to me, you know.”

A response dies on your tongue—how the hell are you supposed to react when you know you can’t speak your truth? Not unless you want to be scorched to death like those chefs and those customers. Yet even in spite of that you find yourself grinding your teeth, your response packing a lot more bite than you want it to as your blood simmers beneath your skin.

“Alright. Whatever,” you finally say. “I’m just glad you’re sensible enough to let me finish pursuing my education.”

“Of course,” he jives, in a tone that insinuates you’re the foolish one for expecting otherwise, folding his arms over his chest. “Under strict supervision. Not that there’s much you can do if you try to run or call for help. Satoru and I have eyes everywhere, my little dove.”

You nod grimly. “If that’s all you wanted to say, may I be excused?”

His eyebrows furrow. “You don’t have power over that.”

“Geto,” you sigh, daring to take a step closer to him, resting a gentle hand on his chest. “Please, have a heart. I know you must have one somewhere if you did what you did for the girls for the reasons they claimed.”

“So, they told you,” he mutters, as his eyes bore into yours, as if searching for some kind of reaction other than what you’re displaying which is sheer indifference. That’s what you ought to strive for in a situation like this, isn’t it? Because it’s not like you can ever expect to be happy in this arrangement. “The girls were vulnerable then.”

“Yes,” you respond, tone laden with disgust. “In an effort to convince me about you, I suppose.”

“Did it work?” he asks, casting a side glance at you. He sounds… hopeful. And you want to squash those dreams beneath your heel like it’s a nasty bug. He doesn’t deserve anything from you, not a single damn thing.

“You figure it out,” you retaliate, the venom still oozing in your tone unintended yet you can’t stop it from spewing everywhere.

You almost regret it as soon as those words slipped from your mouth. Something flashes in his violet eyes, but he holds himself back this time. Huh. Maybe you can have a voice somewhere. Not all hope is lost, perhaps?

Biting back a groan, he replies: “If it will take you a bit more convincing, then I suppose you would be delighted to know that within reason, you are still allowed to go out from the temple. As long as you’re with us. You’re part of the family, and we want you to be comfortable here with us. It’s only appropriate you behave as if you operate as one of us.”

Gosh, that guy really likes spewing a lot of bullshit, doesn’t he?

“Nothing is going to change, Geto,” you tell him, “Nothing you do to try to win me over is going to work.”

His hand constricting around your neck interrupts you, and you struggle to breathe as his nails dig into your sensitive flesh.

He pins you to the door behind you, your head colliding with a light thud. You grunt, gritting your teeth.

“Have you stupidly forgotten your place?” he sneers into your ear. “You’re alive because I want you to be. I can kill you in the blink of an eye. Yet you’re here for one reason—because I will it.

“Be a good girl, little dove, and I’ll be the perfect lover for you. But you try to cross me, or be a little brat? It won’t be good news for you. Do you understand?”

You curtly nod, struggling to speak. He relaxes his grip on your neck. His eyes soften.

“I don’t wish for things to be difficult between us, but you humans, you monkeys…you all think you’re holier-than-thou. Which can’t be further from the truth,” he snarls, “I want this to work out, my dear. Not just for the girls, but for me and for Satoru. Don’t you understand?”

He cups your face, thumbs brushing along your skin as his violet gaze bores into your eyes.

“You’re wanted here. Alive and well and thriving. We will leave you wanting for nothing as long as you cooperate,” Geto finishes, releasing his grip on you. He shuffles around the room and acquires you a robe similar to his. He tosses it to you. “Get dressed now. And don’t be shy. I’ve already seen everything so there’s no reason for you to hide.”

Something lodges in your throat; a protest dying on your tongue as you do as you’re instructed. Light wisps of the fabric fill your ears as you strip down, fold your clothes and set them aside, and arm yourself in the robe. It’s pure silk. Airy. Light. Comforting and breathable. Almost like you’re wearing nothing.

Geto tilts your head up by the chin again and latches something around your neck. A pure gold chain, skintight. The pendant in the middle is the cult’s insignia.

“I’d have used a collar if I didn’t find those so vulgar,” he whispers, as his finger brushes down your cheek. So light you can barely feel it. “Plus you’re far above such dehumanization. Consider it a compliment. I don’t say such words to monkeys, especially. You’re part of the family now. Soon, you’ll be acquainted with the rest of them.”

People actually follow this guy? …And why does he call humans ‘monkeys’? Is it some weird evolutionist crap?

You avert your gaze to your feet. You don’t know how all of this sits with you, but all you have to know is that you’re not okay with it. Dread coils in your stomach and heart. You can’t believe what’s become of you, and you’re not even fighting back—why not? Because you don’t know what you’re facing. How can you fight back when you’re not even fully aware of the world of which you unwittingly entered?

“Before we go,” he drawls, grasping your hands and dipping you slightly as he presses his lips to yours for a moment. He then scoops you into his arms princess style and carries you to his bed. “I want to enjoy some alone time with you.”

He leans in again, pressing his lips to yours. Soft, light at first. But then his kisses become hungrier. He pries apart a bit of the robe—the robe must be for easy access, huh?—tracing the outline of your lacy baby pink bra as he trails kisses along your collarbone.

“The medication might take a bit to work, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t…enjoy these,” he grunts, removing your bra to reveal your beautiful mounds; the tip of his tongue flicking at your perky nipple before sucking it into his mouth. You can’t fight back the low hiss from the contact that becomes a low moan. Your nipples are already oversensitive as it is.

He draws his tongue around your nipple, growling low and guttural. More experimental sucks and you swear you feel something. You gasp, your lips still parted as his eyes widen. Something hits his tongue. White liquid.

Is that what all of this is for..?

“B-but I’m not…” you whimper, chewing on your lip.

“The medication I put you on,” he explains as he removes your nipple with a pop, kissing around your mound. “Combined with your new nutrition plan. It aids in this.”

He pinches your nipple and more milk splatters onto his lips, which he eagerly licks clean with a pleased sigh before latching onto it again, suckling hard. More pitchy whines escape your parted, rosy lips. Instinctively your hands move to cradle his head in place.

He’s drinking your tit like his life is on the line, like he can’t live without it.

“Geto…?” you whimper, as a blush blooms on your cheeks.

“Suguru,” he corrects, his voice muffled slightly.

“Suguru, I…” your breath is caught in your throat before another moan leaves your lips. He continues to greedily nurse on your nipple, the slosh, slosh, sloshing of the liquid leaking from the tip so lewd and intimate.

He finally pulls back, tongue running over his lips as he catches any lingering droplets of your milk. He sighs, purely content for the moment. Before he adjusts your robe, he kisses along your breasts.

“Pull yourself together,” he commands, though his tone is softer—bordering on affectionate, even. “The girls want to go out to eat.”

Geto following through on his promises, being a man of his word and all, so you’re allowed to go out with them like a normal family. As normal as this family can appear, anyway.

The twins want to go to check out some new bakery since…considering what happened at the café you worked at, it’s probably best not to return. Besides, he also explains to you that to the public you’re just another member of the family. Your school doesn’t think you’re kidnapped, so there’s no reason for you to not be able to stretch your legd as long as you’re kept on a tight leash.

You may call it merciful, but it’s just basic human rights to you.

You halt in place as you take in the scenery of the park Geto and the twins take you on a stroll through. It’s a gorgeous, spacious botanical garden with duck ponds and various stone paths leading to different segments. It’s beautiful, yet your eyes rest on a particular couple having a picnic under a cherry blossom tree. It’s not in season. Ut the prospect alone is romantic enough. Yet another thing you have lost your chance at having.

Geto calls out your name, and you twist your head to meet his cold gaze.

“We must get a move on. The girls are very excited to try this place out. We don’t want to make them wait, don’t we?”

“May I request a quick break?” you mumble, your gaze flitting back to the couple grazing in their little corner. A longing sigh leaves your plump lips. Why has something like this happened to you? Why not some other unfortunate soul, someone who may actually benefit from this? (If anyone can benefit from such an absurd arrangement?)

Geto approaches you, his cold gaze melting into something almost tender. You wish you can spit in his face. You wish you can taunt him, mock him, beat him down. But you have no power over him and you know it. You have to play the long game. That’s fine. You can do that.

You may not have any power…yet.

“Is something troubling you?” He follows your gaze to the blissfully unaware couple, a frown stressing his features as he appears to be grappling with why they caught your attention.

“You took so many of my dreams away,” you mutter, tone sharper than intended but you get your point across, nevertheless. Your fingers dig into the fabric of the robe Geto gave you. You await punishment for any perceived defiance, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment as you wait to embrace a slap, or anything other physical blow. Yet nothing comes.

You pry your eyes back open. He’s drawn near you, his face contorted into a contemplative expression. As if he almost feels the weight of some guilt over his actions but you know that to be false. Just in your imagination. No one as heartless as he can feel a shred of remorse.

“That may still be a reality,” he assures you as he rests a firm hand on your shoulder, squeezing it. “Between us.”

You shake your head. “No. I’m more like your concubine. There is nothing between us.”

Geto’s body tensed, his nostrils flaring and his breath hitching in his throat. He glowers at you, and you know you’re about to face something terrible for calling him out on his bullshit.

“For that to be true, you would need to be living in a status below me, which clearly isn’t the case,” he explains as he attempts to regain his composure; he’s not one to lose patience but around you, that’s become a challenge for him. As if to prove his point, his finger traces along the gold chain of your neck. “You are…special, to me. I only hope you come to understand how much you matter here.”

You’re so fucking full of shit, you think to yourself, knowing better than to speak your truth.

He murmurs your name. “Let’s not cause a scene around the girls. They want to bond with you.”

You glance at Nanako and Mimiko, who seem absorbed in their own world, walking ahead of you and Geto, babbling to each other about some gossip magazine they read together.

“Fine, only for the girls,” you scoff as you attempt to maintain a neutral expression, brushing past him. You grimace as the gold chain hidden beneath the robe he forced you to wear jingles a bit—that’s just to reinforce the fact that you have no power over yourself anymore.

He may not think of you as a pet, but he treats you like one.

“Mr. Geto! Hurry up!!!” Nanako calls from over her shoulder as you approach her. You let out a little gasp as Nanako grasps your hand and squeezes it, like a child would with their mother.

“I’m coming, Nanako. Don’t worry,” he calls back as he catches up in a few strides. He tags behind you, his stare boring into the back of your skull as you keep holding Nanako’s hand. Between the girls, Nanako appears to be more openly trusting.

In spite of yourself, you smile at the idea. Even if the girls have set you up to live under Geto’s rules, you don’t mind being around them. You do wish it was under different circumstances…

Nanako calls your name and your eyes meet hers.

“What kind of video games do you like?” she asks, her eyes brimming with curiosity.

“Oh! Um…” You rack your mind for something. “I used to love playing Mario Kart back in the day! And Sonic Adventure 2. But I don’t think I ever strayed beyond that…”

“Oh! Then we can introduce you to cool stuff! Geto doesn’t like to play, so it’ll be awesome to have you be playing against us!”

Geto grumbles something to himself. “Video games are a waste of time.”

“Says you, Mr. Geto!” Nanako chides, “You just say that because monkeys make them!”

“Perhaps,” he concedes with a huff.

Monkeys? Again? Is that what he calls normies or something? Who does he think he is? Draco Malfoy?

“You’re not a monkey,” Nanako tells you with a cutesy grin. “You’re awesome! Geto thinks so too. He just won’t say it outright!”

You glance at him, eyes twinkling in curiosity. You’re far from flattered by the discovery, but you wonder what Geto really thinks of you.

He avoids your gaze, focused on his feet but he still tails close behind you.

“Geto,” you address him, but he interjects.

“Suguru,” he corrects you, yet again. “You don’t call me Geto.”

The slightest hint of irritation flashes in your eyes.

How about I call you Tweedledee and Gojo Tweedledum and we call it good? Oh how you wish you could say what you really thought.

“Suguru, I, um…” you start again, wincing at your own wavering tone. You make a face. You can’t believe yourself and what you’re about to do, but flashing Nanako an apologetic smile, you retract your hand and secure your arms around one of Geto’s. He tenses for a moment, likely from surprise, but eases into the touch. Nanako grins at the sight before turning to babble on about something with Mimiko.

“You don’t need to,” Geto murmurs to you, chin nuzzling into your hair.

“It’ll make them happy,” is all you say in response.

All you’re thinking of now is appeasing the girls. Your happiness doesn’t matter anymore. It seems as if it never did.

Geto only hums, securing his hold on you as you approach the new bakery the twins have been dying to try.

Per Geto’s command, you find yourself back underground. You know what’s coming next. While he hasn’t done all that much to you just yet, things are about to change. You shouldn’t get too comfortable.

Especially when you hear steps descending down there stairs. And in strides Tweedledum, adorned in casual clothes as opposed to the school uniform he had on last time. You can only wonder what kind of danger he puts his students in if he has this side to him.

He still wears those fancy Cartier sunglasses indoors and you don’t understand why—is it just symbolic of the fact that he’s richer than most people? It kind of seems it.

“Princess? Suguru? I’m baaaaaack,” Gojo announces in a singsong tone as he greets Geto with a quick smooch. You wince. Geto has kept his hands off of you for the most part in the first week. Perhaps in an effort to be hospitable and warm. But Gojo definitely has a lot in mind for you.

It’s a Friday evening. In another world, you’re probably helping yourself to a whole bottle of wine while binging terrible chick flicks until you pass out. But nope. Life has other cruel plans for you, and it’s all because of Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Like Geto’s told you, he wants Gojo’s part of the deal fulfilled. You have to smile and bear it. You’re back in that underground dungeon but at least you’re a bit freer to move for the time being. This is where Geto arranges Gojo to meet for their ‘secret’ meetings that not even the girls know about, apparently. Gojo and Geto are supposedly playing on different sides of some war going on and you don’t care to dig into it all that much. It doesn’t involve you, anyway.

There’s a large, opulent, red velvet couch where you’re seated on, and Gojo slides in with you, yanking you into his lap as his hands are already all over your breasts just like before.

He whimpers into your ear; an unmistakable hardness rubs against your bottom. He smirks into your skin as he buries your face into your neck. A hand works to spring his cock free from his pants. Your eyes widen. Of course his cock is fucking huge.

“Suguru says we need to ease you into it, but I think you can handle it,” he mutters, removing your robe and pulling your panties aside. His finger drags down your folds, already a bit damp, and he sighs dreamily as he inspects the slick coating his fingers. “Hm. We need to slick you up just a bit more before I insert it, hm? Stretch you out with my fingers first?”

Through his endless babbling, you don’t notice he’s already slipped two fingers easily inside, cooing sweet nothings into your ear as your spongy walls are already squeezing around him. Geto soon accompanies you, settling onto the couch beside Gojo.

“Satoru,” he murmurs, “Completely lost patience, have you?”

They share a chaste kiss, and Gojo slips a third finger, making you keen from the wide stretch.

“Can’t help it, Suguru,” he pouts, keeping a gentle yet quick pace. “Been thinking about this pussy too long.”

Geto observes the scene unfold, his lips twitching into a smirk as his eyes fall to your pussy glistening in your building, soppy slick. Finally, he pulls them out, only to bring his fingers to Geto’s lips so he can suck them clean, groaning at your taste as Gojo lines the tip of his dick to your quivering entrance.

“Fuck, such a tight pussy, and the head’s not even all the way in,” Gojo chuckles, and you manage to shoot a glare which only seems to make him giddier as he inches more of his length inside. “Don’t worry, Princess. I won’t be moving. Just getting you used to it first. I promised Suguru we’d take things slow with you.”

Soon you’re fully seated on his cock, and God, his size stretches you so wide and fills you up to the brim. When he moves even fhe slightest bit you can feel his tip brush against that spot.

“Your tight little asshole must feel so empty,” Gojo coos in a condescending way, as he turns to Geto still slurping on his fingers for anything left of your essence before he retracts his hand. “Suguru?”

“She’ll need a bit more prep for mine in there, even if we’re not moving, don’t you think?” Geto muses as he drops to his knees, spitting into your back hole. You gasp in shock.

You can’t even fight it.

His tongue rims the ring of your ass before the tip catches. Geto lets out a low groan, his tongue laving around the rim a few more times before he plunges it inside.

“Su-Suguru…?”

“Oh, already on first name basis, are we? In that case, let me here you say mine,” Gojo purrs as he presses open mouthed kisses on your neck.

“S-Satoru…” you hate how weak and meek you sound, but you’re being assaulted on both ends.

“Fuck, my name sounds so good from you,” he growls, nipping at your supple skin, leaving behind deep marks.

Geto fucks his tongue deep inside your ass and you squirm a bit in Gojo’s hold. He’s the one tutting this time, gripping your waist.

“Go ahead, baby,” he taunts with a wide, manic grin. “The more you squirm, the tighter you feel. And fuck, do you fit my cock like the perfect little sleeve.”

Gojo whips out his phone, tapping record as Geto continues to twist his tongue deep inside and you can feel his wide smile as he performs for the camera. Luckily Gojo doesn’t record for long, slipping his phone back into his pocket, focusing on lounging as you’re warming up his cock with your twitching insides.

“Hey Princess, ever given a blowjob before?” Gojo asks as Geto pries his tongue out, only to soon replace it, teasing the ring of muscle with the girthy tip of his cock.

You shake your head. Gojo hums, tutting again as he pets your hair.

“No worries,” he laughs as Geto inches the head of himself inside of you, making you bite your cheek hard to avoid shrieking. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

Somuchsomuchtoomuch—!

Geto finally has his entire size inside of you. And you’re filled to the brim in both holes. You feel like such a slut.

Your breathing becomes more broken. It’s so full.

You deflate between the two men. Tweedledee and Tweedledum really isn’t that far off the mark from describing them, right?

“You’re taking us better than we expected,” Geto purrs, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “Like I said before, it must definitely feel good to get real cock in there.”

“Just how much of a slut are you if you’ve been wearing these sexy panties and bras when you’re single? Were you secretly hoping for something like this to happen to you?” Gojo teases, playfully smacking your ass a bit too hard, making you yelp. “Our Princess really is that lonely, hmmm?”

“Satoru,” Geto admonishes, but he doesn’t seem to be all that angry, rather just as entertained. “Remember what I said about picking on the helpless too much.”

“You’re seriously on about that again?” Gojo scoffs, playfully bucking his hips to brush against that spot and making you gasp again. “Fiiiiine. I’ll play nice.”

“Please, it’s too much,” you beg through a moan.

“Oh? Is it really? Are you sure? But your holes are practically begging to milk our cocks dry,”’Gojo jives, nipping at your bottom lip before laving his tongue along it to soothe the mark forming there.

“Yes, little dove. We have to train you a bit, you know,” Geto continues, a finger tracing down your arm. “We’re kind enough not to pull the cart before the horse. We could have chosen to be crueler but that would prove ineffective.”

“Yeah, besides,” Gojo murmurs into your lips before softly pecking them. “There’s no fun in breaking someone we would rather cherish and spoil.”

Are these pieces of shit out of their goddamn minds!?

“I…” you whisper, clenching your fists as Geto adjusts in his spot a bit. “Please it’s too much…” You repeat, hoping they show you mercy and relent.

Gojo and Geto share a glance. Sighing, Geto is the first to pull out, but he’s shuffling around the room to find something. Perhaps a compromise.

Gojo finally pulls out, but keeps you secured in his lap. He spreads your legs wide and rests his large, calloused hands on your inner thighs. His grip is firm, as if daring you to try to break free. You know better than to try. He nuzzles his nose into your neck, inhaling your fresh scent.

“Just got cleaned up and now we’re going to make a mess out of you again,” he chuckles darkly. Geto returns, a large vibrator wand and dildo in either hand. You pale at the sight. The very models you have used before…just how long have they been tracking you?

“While this goes here,” Geto announces in an authoritative tone, wriggling that long, slender pink dildo inside of your back hole without much an issue since it’s been stretched by his size a considerate amount. “This goes here…”

“Hold still, Princess,” Gojo purrs into your ear as you hear the click of Geto switching the vibrator wand on at a moderate setting. He pries your folds apart and rests it between them, and you shout in protest.

“No, no, no, please,” you weep, thrashing a bit in Gojo’s hold but with not much success. His grip on your thighs tighten, and it doesn’t even look like he’s putting much effort into holding you down yet here you are, struggling to break free. They’re not even bothering to use any real restraints because they can handle you on their own. You’re not sure what to make of that.

“I’m sorry, my love, but if this is going to work, you need to let us do this,” Geto commands as he massages the tip of the wand up and along your pussy. Already there’s the squelch, slorp, slick of your intimate juices. It’s so fucking humiliating and yet you find yourself inching yourself closer to the sensation. All the while Gojo’s fucking the dildo into your ass, sinking it all the way in and out. They work together like the perfect team of menaces, and that’s exactly what they are.

“Fuck, please, I can’t,” you whine as you feel your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave crashing over you. You shiver as your ass flutters around the dildo. Your pussy is pulsing against the vibrator and Geto decides to amp up the setting just a bit more.

“Yes you can,” Geto demands with a dangerous smile, pushing the vibrator to your circle your clit. “Let’s see if we can get a few more, hm? We know this isn’t your first rodeo with toys like these. I’m sure you’ve gotten carried away on your own.”

So what if you have?

He leans in, eyes locked on yours. “We won’t stop until we get five more out of you.”

“Damn,” Gojo laughs under his breath. “What happened to taking things slow?”

Geto gives him a non-committal hum. “Perhaps I lost patience, too.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my girlfriend to lose weight?

Okay, so that sounds horrific, but bear with me.

To be clear, I (23M) could not care less what weight she (27F) is or what she looks like. I love this woman with my whole heart and none of it is about her appearance. We’re pretty much engaged in all but name, the only reason it’s not official is because we don’t have money to even think of weddings right now, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with her.

Thing is, she’s obese. Like, medically, not in a derogatory sense. This is massively affecting her health. She’s constantly out of breath, constantly in pain, constantly struggling, and it’s leading to other conditions such as sleep apnea. She thinks she has asthma because she’s always struggling to breathe, but I’m 95% sure it just comes down to weight and her doctor has said the same, but she tends to write it off as doctors being fatphobic.

Much of this is due to the fact that she used to struggle with binge-eating disorder. She no longer binge eats, but she does overeat in general because her body is so accustomed to constant food, so she gets painfully hungry and dizzy after 2-3 hours of not eating.

I’ve tried to encourage her to exercise with me, diet with me, count calories etc., but she gives up super easy when she doesn’t see immediately results. She also says herself that she finds it very difficult to see herself accurately - she has the reverse of “typical” body dysmorphia, where she sees herself as thinner than she is, so she genuinely sees herself as thin or like slightly curvy. (To be clear, she is very visibly obese, people comment on this often, and while I’ll be the first to go fists up if someone’s a dick to her about it as people have been I also am genuinely worried about her health.) Because of that she has no motivation to lose the weight because she just doesn’t see it. It’s bad enough that she’s been told by doctors she WILL likely struggle later in life with heart failure, diabetes etc if she doesn’t lose weight, yet her POV is more, “It can’t be that bad because I’m not that big so I don’t need to worry about it”. She has occasional reality checks, most recently she put her measurements into some site that shows an image of what you look like from a third person perspective, and she was completely shocked like “I can’t look like that. Do I? This is a wake up call”, but days later it’s completely lost and she’s back to saying she’s not that big again.

She wants kids with me, and I just absolutely do not want to commit to having children with her when I know there’s a not-insignificant chance she’ll have serious health issues in the future that could mean she’s not with us for as long as she could be. Both for the kids’ sake, and selfishly because I want her around! I don’t want to think about something happening to her earlier in life and being without her.

But I just don’t know what to do. Gently suggesting it hasn’t worked, saying I’m worried about her health hasn’t worked, saying I don’t want kids until she’s healthy hasn’t worked (even if she’s still overweight I really don’t care as long as she’s not in a “danger zone” y’know?), trying to meal plan with her hasn’t worked, trying to get her to keep track of calories hasn’t worked, trying to exercise with her hasn’t worked.

People I’ve asked in the past have told me to be firm about it, but I’m incredibly reluctant to do that - I struggled with anorexia for most of my teenage and adult life and I know how deep it can cut to have your weight criticised or commented on. I don’t want to be that dick who basically calls someone I love very much unhealthy and fat and tells her to lose weight or no kids or some horrible shit like that.

But I just. Can’t work out what to do. She does express a willingness to lose weight, she says she wants to, she just doesn’t have that motivation to do it. I don’t know what else we can try.

AITA for focusing on this in the first place? Like am I actually just being fatphobic, or is my own past with EDs influencing my thinking? Am I going about it all wrong? Should I just accept it as something that’ll be a potential issue in future and deal with it then or am I fair to worry about it early on?

What are these acronyms?

[gooseboy42]

(Part 1)

I play with the hem of my tight shirt, anxiously sitting in the doctor’s office’s waiting room. It’s been a few years since I’ve been to the doctor. I know I should go at least once a year, but it’s such a hassle and doctors make me nervous. Especially with all the weight I’ve gained recently… I know I’m gonna get lectured on taking care of myself better. Exercising more, and dieting, but I really don’t want to do any of those things.

“Wren Johnson? We’re ready for you.” A nurse calls into the waiting room from a nearby door.

“Uh, coming!” I say shakily as I haul myself out of the chair and walk towards the door. I’m taken to a room and the nurse closes this door for privacy before continuing.

“So, what brings you in today?” She says as she looks at a clipboard.

“Oh, uh, just a regular checkup?” I laugh nervously.

“Alright then, let’s get your vitals and then I’ll go get the doctor.”

My blood pressure and pulse are normal, but then it’s time for the dreaded scale. I suck in my gut and step on, as if that’ll make a difference. I watch as the scale flickers before landing on a number and staying there. 303lbs. Shit, I didn’t think I had passed the 300lbs mark, last I had checked I was still clinging to 292lbs. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised with my eating habits…

“That’s everything!” The nurse says cheerily, snapping me out of my shock. “I’ll go grab the doctor.”

She leaves the room and the door closes. I sit down in the chair and stare at myself, I’m huge. Maybe I could stand to lose some weight, I’m getting so out of breath constantly and walking is becoming a chore-

*knock knock knock*

“Hi there! Thank you for waiting,” the doctor says as she walks in the room. “I’m doctor Vivian Brooks. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Now, what can I help you with?”

“Oh, I um, I just haven’t seen a doctor in a while and I figured I should get checked out. And also…” I trail off, getting too embarrassed to finish my sentence.

“It’s alright,” Doctor Brooks smiles at me. “This is a judgement free space, I’m just here to help.”

“Alright, I guess I just realized I could probably use some help losing some weight.”

“I see, I can help with that. We’ll make sure to get you on an exercise routine, a good diet, and I have some medications we could try. But let’s start with the physical examination, just to see where you are right now.”

I nod and stand up, after which she starts to examine me. After she does what I’d expect a doctor to do, Doctor Brooks goes to a nearby cupboard and grabs a measuring tape.

“Last thing I need to do is just take some measurements!”

“Oh, are you sure? I’ve never heard of that before?” I say nervously.

“Of course, it’s part of our new diet regiment. I know what I’m doing, I promise.” She says and smiles warmly at me.

Something about the look in her eyes, it’s captivating… I have to trust her, it’s a compulsion. I let her measure me. My belly is at 57”, and my thighs and arms are equally impressive. By the end of the measuring I’m starting to breathe a bit heavy from standing and moving around so much. Doctor Brooks gives me a strict diet and exercise plan, as well as sends in a couple prescriptions for me. None of it seems like a traditional weight loss plan… but I’m not the doctor here, and something about her… I need to do what she wants. I have to make her pleased. So I decide to follow that plan as strictly as possible.

3 month follow up

I’m sitting in the waiting room again, this time much less anxious. Those pills Doctor Brooks prescribed sure do wonders. My stomach rumbles, begging for food. It’s been a whole 3 hours since I’ve eaten, which is not normal for me now. I’m supposed to snack on something at least once every two hours, something about “steadying my metabolism”? It doesn’t really make sense but-

“Wren Johnson?”

My name is called so I pry myself out of the chair and head towards the door. The walk feels a lot harder than last time for some reason.

I enter the room and we do the same routine. Other vitals, and then weight. I step on the scale and stare blankly at the number as it flashes, 331lbs. How? I was following the plan exactly!

“Perfect,” the nurse smiles as she heads for the door. “Doctor Brooks will be in shortly.”

She leaves and I sit down, worried about what Doctor Brooks will say. I just wanted to make her proud.

*knock knock knock*

Doctor Brooks enters.

“Hi there Wren! I heard you’ve made excellent progress.”

“What? But I gained-“ I start to say, but she cuts me off.

“Exactly! You gotta gain some if you want to loose more, right?”

I’m about to argue how that makes no sense when I make eye contact with her. Her eyes are so pretty, and there’s something in them I can’t quite name, but it makes me feel good. It makes me want more. I realize I was starting to play with my belly without thinking.

“That’s a good pig” she says as she grabs my belly from behind, and I can’t help but moan. Somewhere in my brain a voice is screaming about how unethical this is, but it is quickly drowned out by how good it feels.

“I think we’ll up the meds and double your food intake, how does that sound, hog?” Doctor Brooks says, and I can only nod dumbly in response. “Good hog, you’re gonna grow so big for me,” she smiles wickedly.

Something in my brain is different, maybe it’s just that this feels so good, or maybe something is chemically altered in my brain, but I now have one goal. Grow as fat as Doctor Brooks wants me.