#I don’t even rlly understand what I meant lowkey

[m0d3rnvamp1r3izm]

Is toxic yaoi indefinite

[pintrestgrl]

loved your bsf!jj drabble!!!!! maybe a little drunken love confession from bsf!jj … and reader thinks its lowkey too good to be true bc she’s been yearning forever… but when they both sober up jj is like !!! i meant wtf i said !

hi i wrote this and then it completely disappeared. sigh. also im sorry if this is bad, i was half asleep bc i spent forever writing it the first time.

also i’m sorry for being inactive yesterday i was so so stressed nd had cramps and was dying… but hi !! hope u like this anon 🥹

note: after writing this, i rlly don’t like it. but i pray u guys do 😞

drunk!bsf!jj x pogue!reader.

“here, drink this.”

you spoke, shoving a glass of water into jj’s chest, sitting down next to him on the couch of the chateau.

he was clearly very wasted, and you were only a slight bit tipsy.

you two had both went out to the boneyard together, the rest of the group out doing god knows what.

he rambled on about not wanting to drink it, before giving in and chugging the clear liquid.

“thank god, you’re annoying when you’re drunk.”

“no, ‘m not. you are.”

“at least i’m not sloppy wasted, unlike somebody.”

“whatever. guilty by association.”

he spoke, slurring his words and laughing drunkenly.

“i’m not associated with you, you wish.”

“you’re my bestfriend, of course you are.”

he spoke, rolling his eyes amused at your denying.

you managed to let out a fake chuckle, silently cringing inside as he called you that. were you really only his ‘friend’ to him?

you wished to be so much more, and he had no idea whatsoever.

you were snapped out of your thoughts by his voice, drunkenly rambling again.

“thanks for the water. that was like, kinda sweet.”

“sweet?” you question, laughing as you furrowed your brows.

“yeah. you’re a sweet girl, i swear.”

you opened your mouth to protest, before being interrupted before you got the chance.

“you’re kinda pretty too.”

you froze at his words.

pretty?

that’s the last word you thought jj would use to describe you; at least to your face.

“what?”

“actually, no. you are pretty. very pretty.”

“jj, you’re drunk.”

“yeah, i am. and you’re pretty. probably beautiful if i could think right now.”

“you don’t mean that.”

“no, i do. i definitely do. i don’t know why you don’t have a boyfriend. or why i’m too dumb to ask you out.”

you were completely baffled at this point, trying to find any truth in his words. and to your surprise, he sounded genuine. drunk, but genuine.

you had liked him forever, and this was the most he’d ever showed any reciprocation.

you were always too scared to say anything, afraid of his rejection and what it would do to your friendship.

so, you opted for having some of him, rather then none at all.

“do you even understand a word you’re saying?”

you spoke, desperately needing to know if he was just drunkenly saying bullshit, or revealing the truth of how he felt.

“yeah, i do. you’re a sweet girl who is too pretty to not have a boyfriend. i mean, god. your face is perfect.”

“jj, shut up. stop.”

“no, you shut up. let me talk. i think i like you.”

“i’d hope so, considering i’m your bestfriend.”

“no, no. like actually like you. like seriously.”

you desperately were trying to deny his words, convincing yourself this was a dream and you needed to wake up.

“you think you like me?”

“no, i actually know i do. like a lot.

“jay, you’re joking.”

he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“can you let me be serious about one thing in my life? i mean, god. i’m not joking. i’m serious. serious about this, about you.”

you could tell he was probably getting agitated the way you kept denying him, the way his mood shifted from amusedly drunk, to pissed off.

“why don’t you sleep the ‘liking me’ off, yeah?”

it took a while, but you convinced him to just go to bed. and as he layed in the next room over, you couldn’t get over his words.

was he trying to get in your pants because he was wasted, or was he serious about liking you?

you knew the thought would keep you up all night if you let it, so you decided to drop it from your brain, drifting off to a light sleep.

next morning

————————————————

you woke up groggily, a slight hangover lingering on your body. once you registered everything, you decided to go to the room next door, consisting of a likely just as hungover jj.

you opened the door, sitting on john b’s his bed, silently shaking him awake.

you knew he’d probably get all mad, but you needed him to help you clear the lingering thought in your head.

he groaned, mumbling a sleepy short sentence.

“what do you need?”

“can we talk?”

“speak or forever hold your peace, stupid.”

you rolled your eyes at his tired insult, reluctantly continuing with your words.

“uh— last night, you told me some stuff. like that you liked me, thought i was pretty and stuff. were you serious?”

he shot up as the words spilled out, immediately sitting against the headboard.

“i told you that?”

“yeah, you did.”

“shit— um, well yeah. kinda. in a way.”

“kinda?”

“no. not kinda.”

he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

he spoke again, sounding embarrassed.

“yes. i did. i meant it. every word. ‘m sorry. i didn’t mean to— jesus, fuck.”

“no, it’s fine, uh— i ‘kinda’ like you too.”

you said, letting the words come out before you thought about their weight.

“kinda? you’re serious?”

“yes, i’m serious. and not kinda, i didn’t mean that. i like you a lot.”

“shut up.”

“i’m serious, i do.”

“well, why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”

“i don’t know. i was nervous.”

a silence filled the room, not awkward. just waiting for someone to figure out the right thing to say.

finally, jj spoke.

“uh— i’m like really hungover.”

you rolled your eyes at the subject change, finding it just like him to do something like that.

“that’s what your gonna say?”

“no, fuck—sorry. can you just sleep in here with me so i can think straight after?”

“you could’ve just said that.”

“well, i just did, didn’t i?”

“i guess. and yeah, i can. scoot over.”

he awkwardly listened to your demand, not used to the feeling of you knowing about his thoughts of you.

you both fell unconscious soon after, unknowingly shiftinging your bodies closer as you slept.

you slept for another hour or two, limbs tangled and intertwined together as your mind tried to decipher if this was a dream, or if your head was really resting on your bestfriends chest.

[noahtally-famous]

thanks to my post abt the irony of trent & dave being labeled ‘normal guys’ and being definitely not normal, that got me thinking abt their dynamic.

i feel like they’d be great flatmates, buddies, that kind of bond. despite their differences in personality, their lifestyles and even those personality differences help more than hinder their friendship.

trent’s easygoing ‘cool & calm’ nature contrasts rlly well with dave’s more upright, judgmental one. trent can help dave see things (and ppl) differently while staying under the fire; dave can help trent take proper charge by getting him to realize who or what should be prioritized. (or even trent helps tap into his lowkey ‘take charge’ side whenever he drags dave away from an obsession.)

dave being a germaphobe and a neat-freak can work mostly well with trent’s ocd. i know in canon his ocd is described as numerical and nothing much more, but given how badly canon fucked him over, i like to think that trent’s deal with the number 9 is still there but it’s prominent in a lot more aspects of life (like how many exhales is enough, how many times to check the front doors lock, etc.)

dave gets it, he understands a lot of what trent goes through and feels, and he tries in his own way to show some solidarity. trent doesn’t judge his desire for neatness and he tries to keep that in mind so as not to get anything too dirty and he makes sure to help dave with his panic attacks bc he knows firsthand handling them alone constantly is a painful experience; dave doesn’t judge his ocd and interest in the number 9

(but dave does judge other ppl heavily whenever they judge them. trent gets quite amused by this—and endeared that there’s someone in his corner. he hasn’t ever met someone who’s supportive, let’s him do his thing, and understands parts of what he’s feeling)

they both have shitty love endeavors which is smth they bond over (likely while in a vulnerable position). they both try to matchmake too—it doesn’t usually go well

their family histories and childhood/adolescence get brought up last. both of them are a fan of suppressing/repressing until they either consciously or subconsciously don’t remember it. but in the end they do discuss it and it becomes yet another thing they bond over and understand each other about. the idea of being ‘normal’ when they clearly are not is smth that they both need to come to terms with—it takes a while.

(trent gets him to go to therapy)

trent helps dave get out more, do stuff that expands his horizons (like taking him to a drama brothers concert). (dave comes to him first over anyone else abt his sexuality crisis; trent talks him through it patiently, bringing up his own sexuality revelation)

i can see their dynamic as being temporary flatmates at first. or whatever it may be, their bond was initially meant to be a temporary “just for the time being” situation. but then overtime it becomes just as much or more permanent than their other friendships. they can get v domestic (even like cuddles, leaning against each other on the sofa, them just plopping their heads down on the other's lap ready to complain abt smth or other (or in trent's case, talk abt his newest song idea) and stuff like that platonically once they cross that bridge bc it’s relaxing and calming), their vibes contrast nicely, they help each other thrive in an environment of solidarity. just wholesome stuff bc given what both of them must’ve dealt with to make them the way they are, they must not have had a load of wholesomeness in the past

[evansbby]

I just know Ari loves the little spark in wg!reader. She’s not really a brat in the broader sense of the word but she’s sort of petulant in the most innocent of ways and I think it keeps Ari on his toes because he knows deep down that she’s just his baby on the inside!!! Innocent but feisty is so hot to me.

That’s one thing I think you’ve done rlly well since finishing poyt is NOT making them the same default character? Even though they’re meant to be us/readers we get a bit of variation which is cool to me. Poyt!reader is shy and almost obsequious whereas Wg!reader gives Ari a run for his money a bit and makes for some good sexual chemistry.

Even Ari and Steve are different. Like Steve is obsessed and shows his emotions easy and his need for omega’s validation is lowk obvious at times (we love him still), whereas Ari is so aloof and cool but you can sense that he becomes more obsessed. I need to see more dominant/obsessed ari in pt5 bc i am on my knees for him in wg

I think wg!ari is just soo in control likeee

Love ur writing as always!!

I don’t think you understand how much this type of ask means to me! Like when someone reads what I write and just UNDERSTANDS everything I’m trying to convey with the characters, and just analyses the way I write stuff, it just makes me feel so honoured and happy, you have no idea! Thank you so so much for this!!! I love this ask so much! 🥺🥺🥺

AND YES!!! okay so i definitely wanted to make wg!reader different from poyt!omega. ofc wg!reader is very innocent especially in the beginning but she was always lowkey sassy and petulant and she continues being like that throughout the series despite her becoming more mature and jaded as the chapters go by!!

AND YES ARI LOVES HER FEISTINESS! I really tried to show without outright telling that Ari really likes how wg!reader bickers with him, how she challenges him. He secretly loves it! Loves being kept on his toes!!! It’s a big part of reader’s allure from Ari’s pov… specially since Sharon isn’t like that at all!

And yes thank you for noticing how I really tried to make wg!Ari different from poyt!Steve! (I also tried to make wg!Steve super super different from wg!Ari and poyt!Steve which I think I succeeded too tbh!) but anyways yes back to Ari… you can tell wg!Ari is a lot more secure than poyt!Steve. He’s also less stubborn, a teensy bit more easier going too. Idk it’s just little changes bc I didn’t want to write the same character again (aka big sporty domineering jock)

I always want my characters to be deep and nuanced and have a whole story about why they act the way they do! I think with wicked games, a lot of people like the fic bc there are so many characters in that fic who all feel very very distinct! It’s the type of fic I personally would love to read! It’s almost like a dysfunctional group of friends who all inter-date and have history/romance with each other!

😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT IS SO MESSY BUT I WRITE IT BC I LOVE READING STUFF LIKE THIS!!

[lavandar-castle]

I’m supposed to be asleep but I saw your post and couldn’t sleep and yeah adhd or smth

anyways mine

And jins

Was going to do the doctor from tougen anki but couldn’t remember his name neither his age so

…which one 😭😭 bc there’s two the hot one or the one that’ll give u a diy abortion- and Jin being a Virgo and having a little brother Virgo-

We’ll focus on the big 6 since there isn’t much info excluding ur rising

- well state the obvious: fire and earth u will be his wildfire: what goes well is bc u practically bring him out of his earth feeling. Fire beinf spontaneous and passionate will bring out earth feeling. Even though they may not express is as strong as u their feelings are strong. Your the one who drags him to a extreme roller coaster and lowkey lowkey he had fun even tho he roll his eyes at u 🙄 you are his gremlin but also ur level of confidence may humor him or make him eye roll a bit

- oh ur an Aquarius moon too- oh he’s a Pisces moon. This is an interesting combo: it goes smoothly as unexpected: Virgo sun will make emotions to logic and u basically do that for ur entire life. The thing is HE may dismiss his feelinf in like a “oh that dosent make sense 🙄” he feels a lot but he tries his hardest to make it logical

- but the thing is Pisces moon may strongly feel things and ppl will say “it will stray their paths” yk his backstory?? Yeah the moment he walk and by the end of that chapter that’s what ppl mean- he may close himself off bc Virgo but that’s not rlly healthy as he may hold a sense of bitterness and resentment bc he holds that feeling so strongly

- with both of ur moons signs. This is what I consider a mid combo: earth and air tend be the eh combo bc u get along but at the same time u don’t it’s eh. He may understand what ur feeling emotionally bc his moon lets him feel ppl aorunf him. But he may just 🙄 bc ur sun sign may make it come off a bit too strong- like a wildfire. You may actually understand him through his sun sign. Most earth placements I find look for comfort through logics and solutions. To them that is comfort bc earth signs rlly good at basically being structural or grounded

- u libra Mercury: flirty/j ur just good at being social but ur not a big pushover: I said beifre libra a pretty quiet about their opinions but with ur leo: ur pretty fucking loud abojt it online or in person sometimes. Jin Mercury or communication he may be someone who rlly focuses on the details and speak in grounded format like a professional email. Earth signs speak in business emails- he’s also rlly rlly clever and quick witted remember the mountain training with him and ikari?? That’s his Virgo Mercury speaking.

- I wanna say ur a bit of a romantic with ur libra rising: it just may come off as rough- it’s like when ppl say “my love language is biting” romantic but rough and hot due to ur leo. Jin Scorpio Venus- ohh he’s quite passionate but it’s more quiet about it lol. But he’s not mysterious about it 💀💀

- you may provide fun love. You give him love where it’s a bit romantic but it’s not meant to be like very very serious. Serious relationship don’t have to be very serious if thag make sense. You willing to make things work as ur love is light and not heavy if that makes sense. Jin though is definitely heavy. His Scorpio Venus may make his protectiveness come off as possessive if not giving better context. He more weary and more careful of things as he has his guard up. I like to think it’s a tsundere bf thing going on. He does thing out of love but he turn away of u point it out.

- both are Taurus mars. Protective, possesive, and you both always have the need for stability. Ur both steady ur both not gonna start smt well it may start off as 🙄😒 then quickly escalate to smt much worse.

- I wanna say ur Similar to Shiki as leo are sister signs to Aquarius but it more fire feeling. U burn things and come off much meaner then u intende to.

Challenge wise both ur charts will have a lot of challenges but overall it’s still similar in an odd way.

- sun sign wise. He may be annoyed a but you tend to be YOLO with thing and go “FUCK THE COPS” and u may be annoyed bc “he’s no fun” u thrive off high energy and he thrives off steady energy

- moon signs wise even though u may respond to his emotions rationally though he may not express it he may take it personal at times and you may respond like “🤨🤨🤨” and smts he express his frustration and u feel it may bs restraining.

- he can be expressive but you may feel that it’s always meat with an eye roll 🙄 making u feel annoyed bc his mood is off in a way

- Mercury wise u may smt be very free with it and social and floaty which may annoy his Virgo Mercury as it’s more towards grounded communication and details but bc both placements value practically it may not be a big issue from time to time.

- Venus wise. Smt his protectiveness comes off as possesive or restraining to u bc he’s always weary of ppl and may tell u not to trust ppl too much and ur Venus is very social. He may feel your too social or smt ur too free with yourself. One person tends to be more light and hehe and the other is very dead serious and heavy.

- mars sign wise: ur both the same placement literally the same sign so when it comes to ur impulse ur both are connected I will say tho. U with ur tarus mars + libra Venus: even though u are free with ur love u may be a bit not possessive but think of guard dog. U find or try to find balance in being very light with ur love but also not trying to be too air like with it

- Jin mars Taurus and Scorpio Venus. Both sister signs. He may value stability through his protective nature he’s already a garge dog too.

You know that panel where Shiki looks for Jin and he bothers jin a bit until Jin almost slice his head- like that bwgeen u two but u may annoy him a bit more bc u think it’s lowkey funny bc u want a reaction plus u thrive off being in a group more.

Jin: your fuxking annoying

You: I know that just means u want a big fat kiss-

Jin: **virgo screech*

You: JIN I ROBBED A TOY STORE AND THREW A BEGALS AT A POLICE THEIR AFTER ME

Jin: WTF-

[dcbnam-aep]

Star Trek picard 209 thoughts:

- once again here for the agnes content in the episode recaps and alison pill getting to narrate the ‘last time on…’

- still not over how rios brought his new crush and her son to a ship that’s about to be attacked by the borg, not his smartest choice

- kinda sad seven is referring to the borg queen as jurati tho, out of everyone she should understand the most that agnes isnt rlly agnes

- oohhh dead borg?

- ok the changing clothes thing was cool

- ALISON PILL IS AN ACTUAL GENIUS THIS PERFORMANCE IS ALREADY AMAZING AND SHES ONLY SAID LIKE 2 LONES

- shoutout to the cinematography crew, im already rlly liking the vibes and the shot of everyone transporting in amongst the vineyards was very pleasing

- *opening credits*

- ok but now suddenly they’re all together i though the ships transporter was offline??

- ACTUAL AGNES MY LOVE

- MORE AGNES BORG QUEEN MINDSPACE WITH BOTH OF THEM BICKERING MY FAVOURITE SCENES

- ‘trash dump of a mind’ lol even AI cant organise their files and thoughts

- lonely ahhhhh

- ayyy agnes genius is definitely not an idiot pop off

- OMG NEW HOLOGRAM AND ELNOR I LOVE THIS EPISODE ALREADY

- ACTUAL AGNES AND HOLO ELNOR TEAM UP AGAINST THE BORG SO GOOD

- forgot how much I loved actual agnes like ahhh bestie is so smart and considerate and HUMAN and ahhh I’ll say it again Loml

- the switch to baby picard was at the worst time I was getting so invested and excited

- haven’t decided whether I’d consider this mental health rep good or bad yet

- ok back in action love and also the transition was nice

- rios what are you doing ur gonna get someone killed- maybe yourself-

- oohhh that was some nice tech

- rios don’t be mad at least let her treat ur arm first

- completely removing rios from the core of the episode AGAIN *sigh*

- why did Tallinn lowkey look evil in that shot tho

- Soong is so… Soong

- I predicted that shift back into the past ngl

- why do I want to play hide and seek with young picard now?

- ok at least Seven is not in the white top so we’re not at risk of her being killed YET

- The green beam thing made me jump

- the green beam thing made me jump AGAIN

- ok and then what was meant to be the jump scare didn’t make me jump

- gfs who kill borg together stay together 🥰🌈

- kudos to the picard child actor cause he’s doing a rlly good job

- i like the lighting giving dnd vibes

- Raffi bandaging up Seven 🥰🌈 (clexa parallel)

- the white shirt underneath the white shirt underneath the white shirt underneath ahhhh

- don’t forget the ice pick

- ‘we’re not getting out of this’ ‘no, probably not’ IF THIS IS FORESHADOWING I SWEAR TO GOD-

- why they didn’t look for Elnor in the weapons area is beyond me like that’s highkey obvious-

- stop with the rios flirting scenes ndjhfhf agnebal 4 life ✋😫

- damn it Soong also being a genius and working the hidden door out

- i predicted the ‘like me’ owch- I feel so so bad for the mum she just needs some help and truly does care for Picard

- ahhh now im invested in the young picard storyline cause I wanna know what happened to the mum but at the same time I want them to go back to agnes out queening the borg queen

- ahh I missed Elnor’s accent

- ahhhh fake but not exactly fake reunion awwww

- ‘she’s still in there fighting the queen’ u bet she is

- Seven has no right to look that hot covered in blood

- core theme of this entire series- loneliness

- now the jacket is unbuttoned we’re slowly creeping towards her maybe death uurrgghhhh

- ayyy pop off seven

- would’ve been bad if they’d rematerialised not in the walls lol

- huh well that didn’t work

- the borg queen kinda slaying in agnes’ body means agnes has great fighting potential

- ahhh fuck and there’s the mortal injury noooo

- ‘love’ at least we’ve got it acknowledged on screen that seven and raffi love each other

- THE BLOOD IN THE SHAPE OF SEVENS BORG IMPLANTS THATS SO POWERFUL BUT ALSO OWCH

- GO AGNES FIGHT

- the borg queen confused at crying giving tpol energy

- sadness, loss, dispair- the things agnes is plagued with actually helping her fight the queen

- REPETITION FOR EMPHASIS AGNES JURATI IS THE LOML

- damnnnn go agnes gonna defeat the borg queen with some well-placed rambling

- ‘cant be sad forever’ agnes is gonna take that as a challenge lol

- throwing the queens words back at her

- agnes ready to save everyone who wants help awwww <3

- collect scraps and offer second chances

- ‘a real collected based not on assimilation but salvation’

- weakness can be strength go agnes keep preaching

- AGNES GONNA MAKE AN ACTUALLY GOOD BORG SYSTEM- USING THE BORG TO HELP

- muscly rios arms

- he’s gonna kiss her and leave anyway

- oop he kissed her

- aaannnddd he left

- wow prediction expert go me

- SAVE SEVEN NOW GO GO GO MERCIFUL BORGATI FOR THE WIN

- RAFFIS FACE AS SHE THINGS SEVENS DYING THO-

- boom

- *runs away* that would also be me

- GIVE AGNES CONTROL TO TALK TO SEVEN AND RAFFI PLS

- ‘becoming something new, something better’ IDC IF ITS BETTER I WANT OG AWKIES LOML CYBERNETICIST AGNES

- ah no the mum- i still haven’t decided if it’s good or bad rep, bit of both? at least it was dont somewhat sensitively? but not sensitively enough?

- not the slo-mo of the brick flying stop jsjjdjd

- and the crack sound why is it funny-

- Raffis adorable sigh at seven and her calling her extraordinary kskdjdj 🥰🌈

- ‘whoever you are now’ THE WAY THEY WONT EVEN CALL HER AGNES STOP

- I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ANOUT THIS YET

- PLS GIVE ME NORMAL AGNES FOR AT LEAST A LITTLE LONGER

- SHE NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO RIOS-

- WHAT IF THEY JUST REMOVE HER FROM THE STORYLINE TO THE VERY END OF THE LAST EP NOOO

- ‘we’ve lost a friend’ THEYRE RLLY JUST GIVING HER UP LIKE THAT STOP-

- agnes leaving a final message for her wannabe father figure

- well they basically confirmed that agnes is the borg queen from ep 1

- final thoughts: I MISS OG AGNES ALREADY JSJJDJDJDJ

[lunaekalenda]

HII ann!! I couldnt help but send another request for the event cuz Damn I just rlly love ur writing and lowkey makes my day 😫💕 if you want to do it ofc!! But here is my request :,)

😭, 💕, 🚗 like maybe as uni students at uni! (the fact that these emojis are in my recent-) I need somethin to be on my feels :,) so could it be like they had a heated argument and Levi like banged on the table and scared his girlfriend with this actions (like he screamed and he NEVER did that) and that makes her scared and say like she wants a “break” for the both of them, but he thought she meant as a breakup and we see Levi later depressed and regretting everything, he tries to text her but he’s to hesitant to do that. They just are all sad and she doesn’t go to her uni classes and Levi feels terrible and everyone talkin abt her. But Levi finds her in the back of uni crying, lemme stop before I hurt my soul and leave it to your imagination 💀- thank you girl 🥺❤️

ofc! here you go sweet! i hope you like it! <3 thanks for participating!

drama + couple + modern au feat Levi Ackerman.

Levi being just mean at the start but i promise it gets better aaa, mentions of death. adding read more button tomorrow uwu

“You’re saying the same.” You say. Levi keeps drinking his fruit tea. The campus field was illuminated by the faint rays of the sun, making the grass look greener, and the sky was clear and blue. He rolls his eyes. “You avoid me and then go with “Love, sorry, I was having a bad day.”

“Because it is the truth” he grumps. You look at him.

“Levi, you...”

“What part of “It is the truth” you didn’t get?” he raises his voice tone. His grey eyes are coldly fixed on yours. 

“Nothing. Because we’re a couple, Levi. A couple.” you remark. “If you’re already tired of me, just leave me.” you say.

“I didn’t say that.” he answers back. Your hands are getting white from the strength you’re making holding your skirt. He clicks his tongue. “Look, Y/N...”

“I don’t want to hear another excuse.”

“Fine.” he scares you, getting up and hitting the table with his hands. “Then why the fuck you asked.”

His scream scared you too, but the way his hands hit the table was enough. You let your skirt go, your eyes start to be full of tears. 

“I think I need a break.” you say, in low voice, taking your things.

“From class?” he asks. He knows that what he have done was bad, but he avoids the theme. 

“From us.” you say, the snobs starting to be way more audible. You leave the Campus, hearing Levi’s voice calling you. You ignored him, you saw all burred because of tears. He sits down again. 

What did he do?

Levi entered class again, waiting for you to be inside. His eyes lost all bright when he saw your place empty. Armin walked towards him.

"Have you seen Y/N?" he asks. Levi shakes his head and Armin looks confused. "How strange... I thought you will know where she is." The hell did he do.

Levi wished the hour to pass quick, so he'll see you in second hour. He's sure you'll be there.

He's wrong, once more.

Where are you? Are you okay? If he appears next to you, will you run again? Has he lost you?

Then, he remembers your words.

"I need a break."

Where you talking about a breakup? Aren't you a couple anymore?

The realization hits him like a train, even when he's wrong. You just want a little break, make him think about what he did and also take time to know what you did wrong in your relationship. He starts to overthink. Tries to message you, but his thoughts doesn't leave him alone.

"I wasn't enough for her. I supposed she will be there for me always. I thought she would understand my anger because of my situation."

But Levi didn't tell you about it. It was a hard day for him.

He needs air.

That's why he leaves in the break between the two hours, heading to his car. He listens to Jean and Sasha on his way. They're next to the door, and they're talking. Your name is what catches his attention.

"Poor Y/N..." Sasha says. Jean sighs.

"I tried to take her to her home but she just wanted to stay there and cry. What happened to her?"

Levi turns around and talks to Jean.

"Where is she?" he asks. Jean explains him that she's in the green zone behind the uni. Levi leaves running, searching you. He finds you easily, sitting on the floor, your face on your knees. He runs towards you.

"Love." he says once he's near you. You don't take your head out of your knees. "Y/N" he says quietly.

"Leave." you whisper, your voice broke of all the time you've been crying. Levi's hands tremble. He hurt you. You're hurt because of him. His eyes start to drop tears. He was an asshole and he deserves what you told him. His hand moves unconscious to your hair. You feel his warmth on your head. Is he caressing you? Even when you told him to leave?

"I hope you have a good explanation, Ackerman." you say, sobbing. Levi sighs, his eyes full of tears now. You elevate a little your head, watching him. Your heart breaks when you see his face full of tears.

"This morning I got bad news about my family." he whispers. You look at him, how his hand is still on your head. "That's why I avoided you this morning. Sorry, love. I didn't want to make you feel that way. It's just a complicated day." he says. You look at him.

"Why didn't you say that?" you whisper. His gaze gets low, but you can see tears running down.

"I didn't want to bother you." he says. You crawl closer to him. His head rests now on your neck.

"Love, you're my boyfriend. You'll never annoy me. You can count on me for everything." you say. Levi sighs.

"Anyway, that's not an excuse to treat you like i did. It was my thing. You had nothing to do there, I'm sorry, love. I'll respect your decision to break up, though." he says. You freeze. Break up? Who talked about breaking up?

"What?"

"You said you wanted to break up. I respect that. I just wanted to make sure you where okay after I yelled to you." he says.

"I wanted to take a time, not to break up." you answer. "I knew that wasn't you. That wasn't the Levi I fell in love with."

"No, Y/N. Don't try to separate the attitude you saw earlier from me. Don't idealize me, hm?" he's right. But, you love him, then? Do you love all his defects and imperfections? Are you in love just with a little part of him?

No. You're not. You know how Levi is. You love his introverted side, his funny side, his lovely side. The way he calls you love or how he changes to call you idiot with a smile every time you joke. You love his caresses and his vulnerable moments. The nights he hugs your body and begs you to stay in dreams. You love every part of him, and you want him to see his equal in you. You want him to trust you.

"You know I love you, right?" you say. "I don't idealize you. I accept you. As you are. Every single part of you" you say. The sun kept shining in the sky, illuminating you. Levi's cheeks shine, his tears making his handsome face a wonderful but sad artwork. "And I'll keep loving you, Levi Ackerman, until the sun stops to shine. I'll be by your side, I'll hug you and kiss you every moment you'll need it. I'll help you and make you happy." you hear Levi crying quietly. Your hands take his cheeks. "Everything will be okay, my love. I'm sure." you whisper. He smiles a bit. You wipe his tears with your thumbs before kissing him. His lips are salty because of all the tears. Or maybe are yours?

He tells you how much he loves you with that kiss. How his lips are softly brushing against yours, how it feels like a sweet caress. His hands sre now on your waist, making circles with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry." He says when he parts for air. His forehead against yours, your breaths mixing. "I hurt you."

"You did." you're honest. "You scared me."

"I'll be better. I learned from it. I promise I'll take care of you as you deserve." his lips find yours once again. "I'll make you happy. I'll make you feel loved."

[threeletterslife]

Chana! What are some stories that have stayed with you through the years, and writing that has impacted your own?

ooh nice question! i wasn’t sure if you meant some of mY stories or others’ stories, so i’ll answer it both ways! (this post is crazily long i’m so so sorry)

some of my own stories that have stayed with me through the years: you & me both, over the moon and insurrection/the exam

y&mb was the first full-on angst story i’ve ever published. (before publishing that, i was actually known for being a fluff writer 🤡 i know, crazy, right??) but y&mb sits in a very special place in my heart. when i was writing it, i was happy with where my life was going (i’d finally gotten out of the slumps) and the topics showcased in the story actually really hit close to home so i was also seriously invested in the characters too. overall, it was my best work for a while. but looking back, i feel like i could’ve written it so much better. it was only like what? less than a year ago? but idk i love it but hate it at the same time. the kind of thing where i laugh and cry at the memories from it, but also would HATE to read it again. still, the plot of y&mb was something i developed for YEARS before i even attempted to write it, so yes, it did stay with me through the years. and i know for a fact it’ll stay with me for longer in the future

otm is an interesting one. i finished the series this year i think (which sounds so crazy,, it feels so long ago). but the plot i planned for years! i always save my *special* plots until i think i’m capable of writing them. i still think i should’ve waited a lil longer when i wrote otm because i’m not 100% sure that was my best work ever. but otm just makes me reflect back on the crazy times. like the characters in the story, i also felt so confused and unsure and NUMB when i was writing otm—mostly because the pandemic had just gotten serious in my country and things had started to become like a mf SHITSHOW :(( i connect so much with the characters in otm... (i mean, who doesn’t love an intj mc qUEEN??) so yeah. i also LOVE oc and yoongi’s relationship in otm. their romance is actually something i want with my future s.o. LOL (something subtle, something steadfast and most importantly—STEADY). i wish i could rewrite it now fsjfjj but that goes for all of my stories

insurrection/the exam kinda go together. i’ve had the idea for insurrection the longest out of ALL of these stories lol. i think i mentioned it before but i always felt so intrigued by a ‘school revolt’ kind of idea. so i always kinda wanted to write a lowkey satirical(?) story full of morally ambiguous characters and questionable academic organizations. that turned out to be insurrection, which i waited for (i think? three to four years?) before i finally wrote it. AGAIN, it could’ve been better, but at this point, let’s just accept the fact that i’ll never be satisfied LOL. insurrection’s welton high school is based on my own high school,,, so you can tell how shitty my experience with education was in my high school years 🥳anyways, that’s why insurrection is so important to me. i feel like, in a way, it tells my story (and my friends’ stories too). the exam is a less optimistic (more satirical) view on the education system. while insurrection focused more on the students (their passions, their will to rebel and ‘cheat’ the shitty system), the exam focused more on the unfairness that students’ intelligence could be scored with fucking TESTS. one test that determines your whole future. utopia and dystopia respectively represented privileged children (who were more likely to succeed in the exam) and the lesser privileged children (who would inevitably fail the exam because they were never given the resources). yeah, i think the exam could’ve been executed better, but i think the overarching theme was there, which i’m pretty satisfied with. i’m passionate about screaming that the american education system sucks (as you can tell by this painfully long paragraph) lol i’m thinking of writing a fic in the future about an education system that actually works!!

ANYWAYS I’M SO SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH FUCK. BUT THERE’S MORE,,, HANG ON

others’ stories and writings that have impacted my own!!

starting with published authors! i’m a huge HUGEJFLKDJFLSDJ fan of louis sachar (i’m convinced this man is a genius lol). i LOVED holes, i LOVED small steps, i LOVED fuzzy mud, i LOVEDDD the whole wayside school series. he’s so witty? and creative??? like i owe all my outrageous ideas to him because he probably single-handedly taught me creativity when i was a kid LOL another author i LOVE is fredrik backman. he writes the best slice of life/coming of age stories. i’m particularly fond of a man called ove and my grandmother asked me to tell you she’s sorry (which inspired nothing a lil green can’t fix!!). honorable mentions go to ishiguro’s never let me go, faulkner’s as i lay dying, juster’s the phantom tollbooth. omfg i also had a HUGE shannon hale phase (the goose girl, enna burning, rapunzel’s revenge)—very fairy tale-esque but so magical and charming and CAPTIVATING!! i owe all of these authors a huge motherfucking THANK YOU. because they built me up this far 😭😭😭i love authors who are able to fully develop their characters or have the most amazing world-building ever. i think that’s why i put so much emphasis on my characters too. i rlly learned from the best 😭😭

as for internet authors!! i actually IDOLIZED this one author from wattpad (she was SERIOUSLY underrated). and i know there’s a stigma around wattpad authors (lowkey rightfully so; there’s some nasty stuff on there) but chloe was so SO talented. she wrote like a poet. it was insane. i never saw anyone who had a way with words like her. we were actually pretty close for a while but lost touch over the years. anyways, she wrote this beautiful, heartbreaking story called chrysanthemum,,, she deleted her account though so it’s not there anymore. (i know. i agonized over this for hours). she also wrote a horror fic (creatures) that STILL chills me to the bones. she inspired me to try writing horror too (in the future, i will!) 

other than that, i love all of @inktae​’s fics! she’s also an AMAZING writer. (her writing style is so eloquent and elegant and ugh! perfection!) her stories will make you feel nostalgic and lowkey heartbroken. she also writes a lot about nature/being around nature—it’s such a nice, beautiful, serene feeling. (she’s also the master of bittersweet endings!) i think i became obsessed with bittersweet endings because of her LOL some of her works that literally breathed LIFE into me: the blue notebooks, below thunder showers, written on the sky, first light (all of them are worth reading. her fics make you want to become a novelist—the inspiration i get from them is amazing!)

another legend is @jimlingss​!! i still keep up with literally all of her works because istg she never disappoints. she has such a simple but fluent writing style, which i LOVE! it’s engaging through and through. and man, she has a talent for storytelling! but the one thing no other internet author can top is kina’s characters. some published authors can’t even develop a single protagonist in the 456 book pages they wrote yikes. (but just saying, kina can do it in like 9k words.) i have no idea how she does it but her characters just feel human—even if they're not, they STILL FEEL REAL??? (sorry i’m just fangirling) but like i’m serious, she really did inspire me to start putting more depth to my characters. after all, why would the reader be invested in a story if they don’t give two shits about the bland-ass characters?? her pivotal works that made ME wanna pIVOT my whole writing career: tears of a villain, flames and floe, game of temptation, head over heels to hell, a voyage to liberation, ghost in the machine, the weekend massacre, love pages, moirai, a piece of the moonlight

i mean look, i’d put down way more fics of kina’s that inspired me to become the writer that i am now,,, but i don’t wanna make this long ass ask even longer so ummm i’ll have to stop 😭😭but i am literally in love with all of these published and internet authors. i just don’t understand how they are so talented. i really DO learn from the best. and i learned different things from each author too!! 

all of these stories (mine and others) have impacted my writing in some way or another. from my own, i learned from my mistakes lol. from others, i learned how to be a better writer. you can only write as much as you read. i stand by that fact to this day

anyways i’m so sorry you had to read this whole fucking essay 😭😭😭😭

[lunar-lair]

Kouda and Bakugou hcs bc I went Feral!!!!!!!

Once Bakugou had his pride out of the way, around 2nd year or so, he finally started noticing good traits beside 'powerful' in his classmates.

So it wasn't long before he noticed Kouda's kindness, and his quiet, gentle nature. He also noticed his anxiety around others, and immediately related. 

He didn't exactly work to become friends with the other, but he kinda...stumbled into it. He has a small garden on the balcony of his room, where he keeps mostly spices, fruits, and vegetables that can be potted, but some pretty flowers or ones with meanings he liked, too. (If we're going with the idea that he knows flower language pretty well; which is one of my own hcs for Bakugou, considering the expression it brings, and just the fact that flowers are pretty, and Bakugou can indulge. (Also I like flowers, so shush.)) One day, one of Kouda's little bunnies stumbled on in, and he welcomed it with the leaves he could find. Kouda stumbled on after it, and after apologizing, asked if he could start hanging out up there every now and then. Bakugou said 'sure, but only if you bring a cat next time'.

They didn't really talk all that much, but they started to get used to each other's mannerisms, and just hung around more in class in general. Their quirks weren't very compatible, but they ended up working out some cool moves. Plus, it helped that Kouda and Bakugou were one of the few people in the class to know sign language, so they talked that way when Bakugou really wasn't in the mood. His little group of dorks were always really loud, and eve though Bakugou liked them, sometimes he just needed a break. 

Kouda is also just a really good listener. Bakugou may not talk often, but Kouda is extremely trustworthy, and Bakugou just somehow finds it easy to talk to him, eventually. So he ends up talking to him a lot about his flowers, and some stories-usually about the others doing stupid shit, or Midoriya being dumb when he was young. Kouda would talk to him about his animals whenever he asked; Bakugou would usually ask about the ones he thought were cool, really, and occasionally some cute ones, but Kouda was happy to talk either way, and Bakugou himself was a pretty good listener. 

Eventually, Bakugou just found himself amazed by Kouda's kindness. In situations where Bakugou just couldn't understand what was wrong, or couldn't understand how to comfort someone, Kouda just...knew. He was also just excellent with animals of all kinds, and there was something about his gentleness that captivated him.

And Kouda? Kouda admired his strength, and determination. He was so firm in his beliefs, and it was amazing to him. He was so funny underneath his angry exterior, too. And it was amazing watching him open up, too. He was just prouder by the day as he loosened up, almost as proud as the Bakusquad was, having been there from the start. (Sometimes he asked them about developments he missed, just to know.) And once Bakugou opened up almost all the way, he started saying things that revealed that he wasn't as proud of himself as he showed he was. It was little things, those proclamations that he sounded so sure in, like 'since it was my fault' in situations where it definitely WASN'T, where Kouda just had to go 'hey? What the FUCK?' and it made Bakugou laugh, because Kouda never curses, and then he stopped because 'oh shit Kouda never curses'. And then he was lowkey worried like 'shit Kouda never gets angry,,,,um??' And after Kouda realized that Bakugou was lowkey Scared, he quickly backpedaled. 'Oh-I didn't mean it like that! I'm not mad at you! I'm just...mad at whoever taught you that would be your fault when it was out of your control.' And Bakugou was confused, but Kouda calmly explained, and Bakugou may have started crying, but Kouda swore he'd convince him it wasn't a bad thing one day, and they cried together on his balcony with a cat in their laps.

They just...slowly fell in love, I guess. They just started gravitating towards each other, and eventually fell, one for his kind heart and one for his strong one. They didn't really notice until someone mentioned that they were literally leaning on each other and then they got Embarrassed so they leaned apart and stopped talking bc 'o shit wa it??' but after a few days their friends noticed-the Bakusquad and Shouji and Tokoyami, maybe-and went 'hey what's up??' and they finally decided they needed to talk, so Bakugou took the first step and tapped Kouda's arm that day at lunch, and signed, 'meet me at the balcony'. And Kouda shakily nodded back, before Bakugou frowned and tapped him again. 'Calm down. It's nothing bad, alright? We just...need room to talk.' He paused. 'Go ahead and bring toffee. I like him.' Kouda smiled at that and nodded. Toffee was a little orange tabby that Bakugou really liked; it was one of the few cats that lived in the dorns, since pets were actually technically allowed but Kouda didn't like keeping them all inside unless they had gotten particularly attached to him (or Bakugou).

And so, that evening, they had a Conversation-mostly in sign, after Bakugou realized he was too nervous to really talk right-and blushed the whole damn time. At some point, Bakugou absolutely gave him a rose and some flowers that meant things like kindness and quiet nature. They ended the night just leaning on each other like always, Toffee in their laps and the flowers woven into Bakugou's hair at Kouda's insistence. 

Eventually, Bakugou would express that he had no clue why Kouda liked him. Kouda stopped him right fucking there, and accidently talked while protesting, and accidently said his first name. He was embarrassed as hell, but Bakugou took it in stride.

And of course, Kouda had his own worries, and expressed them not much later. Bakugou made his own stop to it, calling him 'Kouji' on purpose, and grabbing another rose and settling it in his lap again for good measure. 

They have their own little quirks in their relationship, too. They both like the sound of Bakugou's little tiny explosions, and Kouda likes how they look. Says they look like tiny stars. 

Bakugou doesn't smile smile too terribly often, especially around others, but Kouda loves doing whatever he possibly can to make one appear on his face. He thinks it's absolutely adorable when he talks about flowers or heroes or his quirk; all the things he really loves.

Bakugou thinks Kouda's smile is as sweet as the first flower he had ever grown. It makes him feel like he accomplished something, seeing it appear. Kouda's smiles are usually shy, but when he gets to talking about his favorite animals and their psychology, or he's really laughing, it's so bright, and Bakugou swears he would kill someone to keep it there. 

Eventually, Kouda walks in on Bakugou having a nightmare. He was coming by to grab a notebook he left there-they study together, every now and then-and walked in to see Bakugou's body and face scrunched up and smoke trailing from his palms where they were situated firmly on his upper arm. Realizing that probably meant trouble, he did his best to wake him up. Luckily, Kouda did it gently enough that he didn't get blasted or anything when he shot up in bed, palms out and ready to murder with blurry eyes. Kouda lightly tapped him and whispered, as loud as he could, "are you alright?" Shocked out of his stupor his boyfriend's rarely spoken voice, Bakugou quickly broke down into sobs. Kouda just did everything he could to keep him calm as his sobs died down. 'Do you want to talk about it?' Bakugou paused, and shook his head. He opened his mouth but decided otherwise. 'No. ...I'll tell you another time.' 'You never have to tell me if you don't want to, Katsuki.' He smiled weakly back, and Kouda frowned at his arms. 'I've got to get something to fix that though. Do you have a first aid kit?' He nodded. 'Bathroom.' Kouda left and got it as quickly as he could, finding Bakugou lightly picking at the wounds and looking at scars surrounding them. 'Does this...happen often?' Bakugou hummed. 'Yeah. I can't control my quirk very well when I'm freaking out.' Kouda paused. 'I'll keep that in mind.' And got to work. After the bandaged had been addressed, Bakugou nervously asked him if he could stay the night. Kouda immediately agreed, and they usually slept together from then on. 

Bakugou will absolutely give him random bouquets or flowers whose meanings remind him of him, that Kouda just likes, or that Bakugou thinks fit his like...personality, even if their meaning don't match. He'll always explain each one when Kouda asks.

One day, Kouda sasses to him about some shitty kid in a other class that he highkey HATES and it makes Bakugou fucking DI E laughing bc 'OH MY GOD KOUJI YOU NEVER SASS HOLY SH IT-DO IT MORE THIS IS GRE AT-' and everyone else is just CONFUSED and the Bakusquad plus Midoriya is just REALLY happy because Bakugou!! Is Smiling!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!

Some of them (including Kouda( may or may not take pics

Bakugou legit DOES NOT CARE bc he's too damm busy laughing at Kouda's sass

If someone asks, they'll just straight up say they're dating. They're not one bit shy about it.

Appreciate these good boys with me or I will be FORCED to steal your kneecaps!!!!!!

(Jk but they're still rlly good so like,,,,,Consider please)

[lunebinnie]

(1/14)I am so sorry for taking so long! (I also had to spend a lot of time studying this week bc I had my first exam for my Anatomy Lab on Wednesday... And then we had our first exam for *Lecture* Thursday (which also was the day I had a bunch of powerpoints due for my very intimidating adviser...) and then I had to substitute teach all day Friday (and then I meant to respond sooner but I got so busy 😭) so yeah I completely understand about school getting in the way no worries abt it!)

And also sleeping in on a day off when you’ve been busy studying lately is completely valid hon 👌 I hope that your midterms go well and that you’re able to stay healthy and take care of yourself in the midst of preparing! (not that you wouldn’t, I just have a bad habit of neglecting things like healthy sleeping and eating habits when I get caught up studying, so hopefully you’re not like me in that way) And yeah me too! I mean on the one hand I understand *why* they have that limit

3)If u could just send as many as u want there would be so much more spam and ppl would definitely abuse that. But also?? Um? I have a chronic condition called ‘Can'tShuttheFuckUp-itis’? 🤷 This policy is so discriminatory towards people like me who suffer from this crippling condition! I feel oppressed honestly 🙄 tumblr rlly has something against ppl just trying to get to know each other huh? Lol, but at least now we know why it eats them I’ll be sure to try to prevent that in the future

4)And oh my gosh that’s so cool! I’m super jealous!! 😮 lol. I wish they hosted kpop nights at my local bar! 😭😭 But no, I’m here at my little state college in a little 2 mi2 town just under pop 5500 (and idek if that’s before or after counting college students) in the middle of the 'farm zone’ of my state. All we get is country night @Riley’s 😩 RIP. But ya I wish I had more ppl around me who were into kpop! So far I’ve only met 3 ppl who listen to it. One was that roommate I told you about

5)One is just a casual listener who isn’t really into 3rd gen groups and mostly just listens to Girl’s Generation but that’s valid, and one isn’t even rlly a fan of any groups in particular, she just puts the kpop station on when she studies bc she says she needs music but if it’s in English she gets distracted, lol And omg that is insane! $500?? And 5 copies of the same album? 😲 (Says the girl who’s been a Monbebe for a hot 2 months and has already bought three (3??) Monsta X T-shirts… 😂

6)in my defense tho one of them was only $10 bc it was Black Friday? And u can’t blame me, Hot Topic is my krypotonite lmao) but yeah I already feel guilty about spending 30+ dollars on one copy of an album (thx international shipping) That’s so wild. And yeah I don’t get why ppl feel the need go out of their way just to insult other ppl’s music taste. I’m also pretty self conscious abt sharing my music taste and obviously the way everyone around me talks abt kpop has made me even moreso now 🙃

7) I haven’t gotten into too many groups yet bc I’m trying to go slowly and focus on getting into one group at a time but I do have a long list of groups I plan on getting into eventually! NU'EST is one that I’ve heard some of their songs on my Spotify based on my listening history and they’re on the list haha 😂 And omg I feel really similarly about Got7! I tried to get into them after I got into Monsta X and right before I got into Astro and although I did really like some of their songs

8)I haven’t really been able to get into their music as much as MX and Astro’s yet. I do think they seem like a really fun group in terms of personality though. As for the comeback I know right?? I mean I know a lot of ppl were freaking out abt the comeback being a 'sexy’ and how it wasn’t gonna be the same cute Astro we all love anymore. But they filled the MV with flowers and glitter and still managed to make it sexy as fuck! This album has a very different vibe but it still felt like them

9) They managed to pull off a more mature and sexy concept while still staying true to themselves and I’m so here for it! I don’t know if I could really pick a favorite era because I love them all! I mean Spring Up was an excellent era and every era since then has been great. They really don’t know how to have any bad concepts or make any bad songs huh? Lol. Since I’m still pretty new I really love the title tracks since I’ve heard them the most. (I have listened to their full discography

10)But I haven’t listened to their Bsides enough to pick out my favorites from those) I also really love Again though! The first time I saw the dance practice I was super into it and then I looked up the lyrics and was like 'this is supposed to be sad/regretful song it has no reason to be this much of a BOP?!’ 😂 I have such a hard time picking favorites though. Since All Light is new though I actually have listened to it enough times to pick some 'non-title song favorites’ from there haha

11) Other than All Night (which is great, obvi) I also really like Starry Sky, Moonwalk and Role Play 😂 and Bloom is so pretty oh my god! 😭😭 the album is great and has no bad songs but those are the ones I particularly like. I feel u about the dances honestly. I think that’s actually what drew me to kpop initially. I mean I like listening to the songs ofc but it wasn’t until after I actually watched an MV/saw the choreography that I actually was like… Oh shit I’m gonna have to be a fan now

12) It was the visual aspect that really made me want to be a kpop fan bc I haven’t really seen that level of performance with any western music. Which isn’t to say I think all western music is bad but I think it’s really impressive to watch kpop groups singing and also doing really impressive choreography and performing at the same time. Plus that’s the part I can show my family and say 'even if you don’t like the music because of the language barrier you have to admit they’re talented dancers’

13)And yes! With Astro especially I think the dance practices rlly succinctly capture the reason why I love them so much. They are *super* talented but they also have such great chemistry and u can rlly tell that they just love each other and have so much fun together! I love a family of six hardworking dorks! 🤧💗 lol. And yeah it’s too bad that neither of are able to see them this cb ☹️ (I also did the 'hypothetically…’ research but it wouldn’t have worked out 😒) I hope you’re right though!

14)Hopefully the success of this comeback is the catalyst to Astro getting more of the attention they deserve and there will be many more opportunities to see them in the future! (Although it is too bad we won’t be able to see live performances from this cb, since it’s so pretty 😭 tho with their track record I’m sure future cb’s will be just as good lol) But what about you? Do you have any favorite songs from this cb in particular? Talk again soon! (I’ll try 2 b better @ responding 😭) -AHA

FUCKKK okay so after like a million years of midterms + 2 days straight of sleeping ya girl is BACK to answer these asks after getting through the hurdle of copying and pasting and italicizing 14 asks onto one response on my phone. Did I perhaps fail at least 3 of my midterms? Quite probably. Do I have the energy to care atm? No. Did I need to get away from everything and fly to Boston to visit my friend for reading week? Yes.

How did all your exams go? That sounds crazy though! I hope you got through everything ok!

Tbh I have the same unhealthy habits too, I essentially became nocturnal and lived on like one meal a day + snacks and coffee 😭 fr, I would be writing my midterm from 11:30-1:30, go home to eat, sleep from 4-7pm, then wake up to study all night for the next one, and repeat,,,,, I’m like an actual mess tbh

Honestly as much as I’ve enjoyed the Aroha secret admirer thing (it was sooo nice getting to meet new people) rn I’m just so glad that post-reveal we don’t have to deal with tumblr ask limits and writing entire essay responses all in one go.

Honestly 3 shirts isn’t even THAT bad especially if they weren’t all like ordered from overseas so they wouldn’t have been that expensive. When I went to the Myeongdong underground shopping centre I went craaaazy with Kpop merch despite stanning (at that point, pretty much only) BTS for a whole 3 weeks, so I ended up coming back with 2 albums, a bunch of stickers, a photocard pack (also bonus: got an Astro one too) and like a BUNCH of bt21 stuff. Speaking of, my All Light album finally came in!! I ended up getting a Moonbin, MJ, Jinjin, and Sanha photocard plus the a Rocky lyric booklet and ik I basically got THE best set for someone who loves all of them w my whole heart 😩✊ but I’m still sad I didn’t get any Eunwoo cards since he was my first Astro bias 😭 it’s soooooo pretty I love it sm and like lowkey I’ll probably end up buying more of their albums anyway oopsss

Speaking of Monsta X btw, I heard their new song and I thought it was really good! What did you think of it?

Regarding favourite songs, I swear my moods change so much, so it’s pretty common for me to not love a song at first and sort of rediscover it months later, and tbh that’s kind of what happened with Innocent Love, Baby, and Again. In this album though, I’d say my favourite Bsides are probably be Bloom, 1 in a Million, and Heart Brew Love.

And I toootally agree with the performance aspect of kpop being the thing to attract me it, even before I got really into it I’d sometime like to watch dance practices (and lowkey even learned a bunch of choreos a with my friend last term just bc we had access to a frequently empty dance studio). It’s just super impressive to see people singing and dancing at the same time mostly live, and for the same reasons I’m also super into musicals as well, which isn’t so say I think like lip syncing or just dancing/singing is bad, it’s just refreshing to see it done all at once, you know?

Also side story it turns out that I actually DO know another Astro fan irl!! Her older sister (who I’m closer to bc we’re closer in age) is the one who bought the million got7 albums. Even though she’s been a fan of Astro since before debut, her sister doesn’t even know she listens to kpop since she was afraid of getting roasted at first, but now she’s in too deep to say anything. I’d mentioned liking Astro to her before, but she didn’t say anything bc she didn’t want to expose herself in front of her sister but on Friday I saw her while her sister was out and she was like “oh btw here’s a secret I went to the Toronto fanmeet last year but my sister doesn’t know” I was SHOOK but tbh I’m just super glad now to have someone to talk about it and go to concerts with (I’m banking on the fact that they’re coming back)

Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for waiting 2747287482 million years for my response, and it was so great to finally (officially) meet you Kjersten!

@kaptain-k-pop

[catastrothicc]

when will i learn to write an intro post

hello friens my name is kit im 19 and i use them/they pronouns. i love the color GREEN as u can tell and im a cancer ..... i literally don’t kno who i am besides that so ! ey letz gO  .... oh yea my timezone is mdt .  bu ckle . ... .. . u p

fiRST we have rocky whomst some of  u kNO bc he was That guy in paracosms anD created by the m ost crea tive  admins iv’e ever seEN i got blessedt 2 play him and to play him agAIN in literally the most mentally straining au for any character .... paracosms verse ! x 

i previously made an intro post for him here so i’m just gonna link it and walk away .. .. .... also his stats page still lives here !!! keeping in mind that he is no longer a drug ring leader ..... he recently discovered that his wHOLE LIFE is a LIE and that he’s a helpless robot stuck in hell with a bunch of other robots who want 2 murder him and every(robot)body he loves 

find his pinterest board here , someday a whole ass playlist too

neXT we have minjae ... he’s my oldest character in this batch but that doesn’t mean i especially love him .... just means i’ve made him suffer the longest .... . . . tw: child abuse ( pinterest board , playlist 1 , playlist 2 )

minjae is in the main verse ! find him bullshitting through college and b-boying in the camden streets 

he’s twenty-one and a virgo , born in busan , south korea 

he found his way to london when his parents sent him away to study abroad highkey because that’s a big fancy thing in korea they can brag about and lowkey to get rid of him for as long as they can 

his relationship with his family is ..... interestingly strained . his parents WON’T admit that he’s tiring as hell to deal with and how much stress he causes because they try their best to be supporting/loving parents but honestly minjae KNOWS how much they just wISH he was fucking gONE from their lives ( okay maybe not THAT intense but things rlly blow up in his head ) but he doesn’t even worry about it he just deals with the fact that he’s a terrible son

he was diagnosed with odd when he was eight years old, after his mom got tired and increasingly concerned with his disruptive and violent behavior

a few years prior , minjae’s biological dad left them and his mom kind of took it upon herself to try and make it up to him . that meant she was always careful around him and treated him as if he was fragile because minjae felt some blame that his dad left . 

his biological dad did Not have any patience for his kid’s mental health , meaning he and minjae would fight often to the point of getting physical . basically minjae endured a lot of getting locked up in the bathroom kicking and screaming until his voice grew hoarse and the occasional ..... bad beatings .

he went to therapy with his mom for two years before entering middle school , around the time his mom remarried a nice guy who had the patience of a saint when it came to minjae , even after he repeatedly rejected him as a part of their life . eventually minjae managed to warm up to him ..... he just didn’t wanna admit he was afraid he’d abandon them like his bio dad . 

despite the therapy he was still unstable and got into frequent fights . he was smart but he didn’t put it into any good use because he would rather fool around and disrupt the classroom at any slight chance . teachers .... hated this fuckass 

theN high school !! A Whole Mess ..... he got worse and worse , and it wasn’t until he got expelled from his Second high school that he went back to therapy for anger management . 

after months of sessions w/ his therapist he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , which honestly explained Everything about his life . it explained his massive issues with interpersonal relationships , massive abandonment fear , massive moodiness , massive personality contradictions .... everythin g

he started b-boying because it was a way to push himself and let go of the anger without picking a fight with someone else ( altho he StilL picked the occasional fight .... highkey still does ) but he loved the control that came with dancing and how it hurt to push his body 

he managed to graduate despite what everyone thought ..... and even a bigger surprise is that he went to college majoring in math ..... and an evEN BIGGER SURPRISE is that he went overseas to study which is like ..... quite a difficult and impressive thing to do ..... tho minjae just finds math the easiest out of academic studies bc “all u need to do is understand and follow a formula” 

anYWAYS so his personality is generally very contradictory . he just has no fucking idea who he even is . thESE are from an old intro that i’m just putting here bc still tru:

being delusional w/ infatuation/love to the point of a fault vs running away when things actually start to go right with someone because of his fear of being abandoned by them

being so afraid of abandonment that he can’t stand being alone, always needs to be communicating with someone vs pushing people away when he feels like he’s getting attached because he’s afraid of abandonment 

swinging between being horny all the time and being sex repulsed

intense mood swings !!! having the time of his life one hour and wishing he was dead the next

thinks he’s the best vs loathes his entire being

wants everyone to love him vs thinking he deserves being alone

incredibly charming and talkative vs distant and moody

loving/cuddly/goofy vs jealous/purposely mean/bossy 

also never tell him its ok to text u bc he’ll give u notifications from Hell

dhwani mishra !!! honestly Bae . i’ve had her in my head for mONTHs and this is only the second time i play her rip . anyways say hello to this Hot Mom. tw: abuse , brief abortion mention 

dhwani is from chicago , she’s 36 and a leo .... literally The Whole SUN

she grew up w/ a generally large family . two parents , three sisters and a brother . it was a full house that often became suffocating but she managed to survive her childhood and teenhood . 

she’s extremely close with all her fam except her dad , bc they have always disagreed in almost everything and it’s just ..... awkward to be around him ?? she honestly doesn’t respect him much , even if she would never show him/tell him that . her dad had an abusive past w/ her mom , and dhwani still feels a lot of resentment that he would ever lay his hands on her in a violent way and mistreat her despite being the mother of his children . when she was a teenager , she would tell her mom to just divorce him but her mom was in a very toxic/old mentality and believed she would ruin her family and her children’s life if she did that . 

probably nobody cared about this as much as dhwani .... she promised herself she’d NEVER allow someone to do what her dad did to her mom and was honestly so defensive with guys . little did she kno it was the lesbian raging inside her . 

so because she had no idea what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility bc her household was not the type to really go into the topic of sex at all , she eventually got into a relationship with a guy in high school that she could actually put up with .... and got really disappointed when she was finally ‘ in love ’ because of how underwhelming it all was . her dreams about finding ‘ the one ’ were absolutely gone . she was like wtf why are people making such a big deal out of love when it feels like ...... kind of nothing ?? 

she became pregnant with his child which was completely unplanned and was such a huge turn in her life that she never ever expected . all this time she had been driven to start a career in chemistry and family would come way wayyy later , however she did Not want to give up her child ..... she was so torn about it but now she thinks not getting an abortion was the best decision of her life bc her little boy , one of her two little suns was brought into the world . 

she paused her career to raise him w/ her now husband when she was 29 , and three years later became pregnant again , this time w/ her second sun , an adorable lil baby girl . things were already going downhill in her marriage before she got pregnant again , though , and she stupidly thought that maybe another child would help them but ... wrong ! her husband , the man she thought she loved , was turning out to be exactly like her father . she put up w/ him for as long as she could .... but it did just not work out . when her daughter was two and her son five , she divorced him and someway or another managed to pick up her career again . 

she moved out with her kids into a small apartment , struggling with money and having to ask her parents for aid which wasn’t rlly good for her pride , despite that she and her mom were like best friends .

sHE made it to london by pure will after juggling her two children and working as a high school teacher , though when she got an offer to teach as a professor in a university w/ heR OWN LAB AND RESEARCH TEAM she could Not pass it up . the only problem was tht this job was across the ocean , and away from her family and everything she and her children knew . 

still , she saw a brighter future , not only for herself but especially for her kids , so she packed up and said goodbye to the states . 

she’s been teaching in soho for two years now and she still hasn’t really adjusted . it’s obviously a very different life than the one she had in chicago , but she’s very determined to make it work . also she’s recently discovering her repressed inner lesbian so hmu for plots !!! ;))) 

shE’S a chemistry professor so ... @ any student connections hmu ... also any students whomst want 2 be on her research team A++ 

pERSONALity wise .... she’s a mess . she’s very lively and warm and inviting , but she is also extremely stubborn and unrestrained . you don’t agree w/ something she does ? Suck It . you have a stupid opinion ? Time to let u kno how absolutely wrong u are . she is NOT afraid of a fight . also she’s v scatterbrained .... there is so much on her schedule that she can barely keep up w/ so she’s never like ... calm . always going somewhere , always pacing places , chugging her coffee , carrying 789479 folders and books everywhere . 

hER class is pretty much this vine 

probably one of the least chill professors on campus in the best way possible . she’s so excited about chemistry and teaching her students . altho she is lenient and understanding she can also b strict af and doesn’t allow her kindness to b taken advantage of . rlly good at drawing lines . 

also her children are her whole world and she loves to brag about them ... since she doesn’t get enough time w/ them at home she sometimes takes them to her lab on campus or they’re there being a mess during her office hours and stressing her out but she’s 2 fond of them to leave them w/ their babysitter . 

oK so here is her v incomplete pinterest board ... expect a playlist Soon 

lAST BUT NOT LEAST is santana !!! he is ... a solid trip . this is my first time playing him so i’m puMPED and expecting the worst of him fhuidshfiusdhg. tw: drug use , abuse , alcoholism 

he is 23 , a Cancer , n from LA california like that red hot chili peppers song(s)

his childhood wasn’t chill at all . he grew up with four sisters and three brothers , so his parents never really had time for all of them individually . they were always kind of lumped together despite the differences in age . santana was one of the middle children so he got evEN LESS attention . 

he honestly does not understand what his parents were thinking when they had EIGHT whole kids , because they were poor as shit . they lived in a tiny house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms , where all the girls would be in 1 room , the boys in the other , and their parents in th third one . you could Not catch a moment of peace in this household . they basically lived on top of each other .

his older siblings were very bad influences , and so were his parents . it was all tough love , so he barely received any kindness or special treatment and had 2 go to school even if he was dying w/ the flu and got hit Bad when he acted out even a little bit bc his parents were Not about to deal w/ any disrespect . he actually pretty much got hit for just existing bc his parents didn’t want dumb kids and santana was failing in Everything at school so his dad especially tried to beat it into him but really he wasn’t dumb he had dyslexia and no one knew or cared enough to find out .

still , they didn’t really respect their children enough to demand their respect . they would cuss all of them tf out and allow them little to no privacy so they all became rEALLY GOOD liars , and all of them learned to have each other’s backs but rlly this only lasted during their childhoods/teenhoods . 

santana started doing really stupid shit during high school and once he got caught stealing wine from a grocery store w/ all his dumb little high school friends whomst were in possession of weed and ended up in juvenile prison for two years until he turned 18 . thEN while he was on parole he didn’t learn his fucking lesson and his parents/family were not supportive At All honestly it’s like they didn’t give 2 shits that he was in juvie they were just like ‘that’s what happens when you’re a goddamn moron’ so santana went out and did it aGAIN bc fuck parental guidance anyways

this time he got caught stealing a whole fucking car and in possession of not only weed but cocaine so he got locked up for 4 long ass years . honestly thought that he wouldn’t make it out but he rlly learned a lot in prison and he was used to getting no privacy anyways and just kinda dealt . the prison system he was stuck in Sucked so bad though like the guards were the Worst and he’d try to stay out of fights but Some Fucker would piss him off and BOOM he’d end up in the hole for a whole week . 

hOWEVER if it wasn’t for being there he would’ve never discovered his passion of art and drawing . he got Really Fucking good bc he had nothing else to do but sit around and try to find anything to pour all of his pent up energy into and drawing happened to be his greatest outlet . would just sit for as long as they let him and draw his time away . 

when he got out he went back to his fam but they were pretty much all split up . shit went Down while he was locked up and somehow his parents ended up w/ a giant grudge on their children and some of his siblings wanted to kill each other while others had just completely moved away to different parts of the states and had absolutely no communication w/ each other . 

santana decided to fuck it and pursue his dreams of being a tattoo artist far from LA and just decided to move to a different country entirely . 

Now u can find him giving tattoos in his apartment bc he doesn’t have enough $$$ to get a studio and while he Is training under a professional he’s not getting paid by them so he needs to make money somehow . it’s a secret that he’s tattooing when he’s not supposed to tho . Fuck the law . 

personality !!!! he’s basically .... very chill .... perhaps 2 chill .... 

even tho drugs got him some bad time in prison he hasn’t left them . still very 420 friendly and occasionally does the hard stuff . also loves 2 drink and party . 

he’s irresponsible !!!! he feels like he lost a lot of his life in prison so he’s trying to make up for it and while he’s being more careful ..... he still loves 2 fuck shit up .

he gets way too comfortable around people way too easily . he thinks this is a trait he picked up in jail bc he rlly had no other option but to shower with a bunch of dudes and shit out in the open , so he’s very comfortable with his body and being in the nude in general . also a touchy guy , likes cuddles and appreciates hugs . random meaningless touches are a Habit . 

he loves to hang and do whatever so if ur his friend chances are tht he’s hitting u up 24/7 to go do something . biggest extrovert there is . does not get tired of being in public / around people . also p flirty and gay as hell . 

sO find his pinterest board here and i’m also in the process of finishing a playlist for him hopefully soon 

thAT WOULD BE ALL FOR NOW !!! hmu and feel free to add me on discord ( a whole silly boy#2690 , kít (catastrothicc) in the group chat ) for plots and such !!!