#I don’t care about what someone did to you seven years ago that hurt your feelings

[suffcring]

Spicy (but sfw) Sunday thoughts—

I’ve been thinking about the drama that’s plagued the RPC for like ten years and I recently saw a tiktok about how a lot of terminally online (which most of us are) people are like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock— specifically the episode where we go with her to her school reunion. She leads us to believe she was ostracized and bullied for being a nerd and it turns out she was actually the bully herself

And I feel like tumblr RPC is a little like that in that a lot of us were ostracized and bullied (maybe for not being bullies, maybe it’s just because we are nerds or autistic or shy or any number of things) and then as late teens or 20 something we come into the RPC where we can make friends with other fucking weirdos who like the same weirdo shit we do

And the smallest taste of having influence over a group of people goes straight to some people’s fucking heads and they think they’re suddenly the main character of RPC Euphoria or something.

Nobody here knows how to deal with arguments among friends (and I have been guilty about this myself) or how to deal with friendships falling apart simply because sometimes people do not get along. You are NOT going to get along with everyone.

So many Fuckin callouts and calls to cancel are people’s personal beef plus something said out of accidental ignorance or a stretch.

Idk man I’m just like. Real tired of coming on tumblr dot com to read the newest fallout in the same group of a hundred or so individuals we have always been since 2012 that’s just Mean Girl (gender neutral) Shit

[maximoffcarter]

The proposal.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Summary: After seven years of dating, Casey Novak and Alexandra Cabot are ready to propose toe ach other, though it's a bit of an ordeal to get to the proposal.

A/n: Surprise surprise! I decided to post this one today for my bestie. Once again, bestie here giving me the best ideas @saurgaeee. I don't even know if the end is good but I believed the rest of it was pretty cute haha, I hate knowing how the story will go but then at the very end I end up getting stuck. But hope y'all like this! Don't be afraid to send me an ask or message if you got any requests, I'm up for anything for now. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblog, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

“I can do this…I’ve got this.” Casey whispered softly as she took a deep breath, shaking her hands as if that would help to shake off her anxiety. “It’s gonna be okay.” She breathed out as she straighten out her posture and knocked softly on the door.

“Come in.”

Casey cleared her throat as she opened the door and offered a small smile. “Hey, Liz.” She closed the door slowly behind her, walking to Elizabeth’s desk.

Elizabeth sighed heavily as she took off her glasses and looked up at Casey. “What did you do?”

Casey frowned as she shook her head. “Literally nothing. Why would you ask that?”

“I can definitely tell you’re nervous. You don’t just come here and say ‘Hey Liz’ if you didn’t do anything. And I’m pretty sure you want to ask me something so.” Elizabeth leaned back in her chair.

Casey raised her brow. “You don’t even say hi to your worker and friend?” She grinned.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Hi, Casey. What did you do?” She grinned.

“I didn’t do anything, but…” Casey sat down and sighed. “I do wanna ask you something.”

“Okay, shoot.” Elizabeth stared at her with a raised brow, her curiosity pretty clear.

Casey nibbled on her lip as she stared back at Elizabeth, thinking that it really had looked easier than it actually was. She cleared her throat again and looked down at her hands as she tried to organize her words. “I uh…I wanted to…” She whispered softly.

Elizabeth huffed a chuckle. “You’ve never been so nervous, Case. What has you so nervous that you can’t just ask-“

“I want to ask Alex to marry me.” Casey said rapidly as she looked up at Elizabeth. “And I…wanted your blessing.”

Elizabeth raised her brow as she stared at Casey with a defying stare. “You wanna marry Alex? My Alex?”

Casey nodded. “My Alex but…yes.” Elizabeth stared at her. Casey cleared her throat again. “Your Alex, yes.” She nibbled on her bottom lip as she stared at Elizabeth.

“Have you already talked about it?” Elizabeth simply asked.

“We have…more than once. I uh…I already talked to her father, and he said yes. But…I wanted to ask you.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I see.”

“So…” Casey wetted her lips nervously. “…do I have your blessing?”

Elizabeth kept staring at her, her face not showing any emotion. “You know what would happen if you hurt her, right?”

Casey nodded. “I know. I would never do that.”

Elizabeth nodded back. “You’re good to go.” She said as she put back her glasses and went back to read the files she had in front of her.

Casey frowned and looked at her for a moment before she stood up. “Uh…” she looked back at the door and then at Elizabeth. “Okay, thanks.” She then walked to the door and was stopped before she could leave by Elizabeth’s voice.

“Casey.”

Casey looked back at Elizabeth. “Yes?”

Elizabeth smiled as she looked at Casey. “I’m happy for both of you. You know I also care for you, and yes. You do have my blessing. Thank you for considering me.” She smirked. “I’ll be waiting for the invitation.”

Casey smiled softly as she nodded. “Thank you.” She turned back and left the office.

If anyone would’ve told Casey that she’d be asking her boss for someone’s hand years ago, she’d have laughed in their faces, but here she was; feeling relieved that both Alex’s dad and Elizabeth Donnelly had given her the blessing to ask Alexandra Cabot to marry her. It might’ve been silly, Elizabeth would be probably teasing her about it for a long time, but asking for a hand in marriage was usually what was done in her religion, and even if she knew that Alex was not religious -she herself wasn’t religious anymore-, she still wanted to keep that tradition going. Marriage had just been legalized for same sex couples and after years of being together, Casey thought it would be a good idea to finally ask Alex to marry her.

They had been dating for around almost seven years, and even if they were already acting like a married couple with promises rings, Casey thought it would be cute to officially be able to call Alex her wife. The idea of it brought butterflies to Casey’s stomach. Never in her life did she think that she’d be marrying someone, after being engaged once, and being single for a very long time, she thought that maybe she was destinated to stay that way, but after meeting Alex and falling deeply in love with her, she knew that her story had been rewritten. She was the happiest she has ever been with Alex, and she hoped that things would go as planned.

********************

“So, what brings you here, Alexandra? I haven’t see you in a while.” Branch leaned back on his chair as he looked at Alex, who was standing in front of his desk. “You look like someone is going to scold you, and that someone is clearly Elizabeth.” He grinned.

Alex huffed a nervous chuckle as she looked down at her hands. “Right, well…it has nothing to do with work or a case. I wanted to ask you something…about Casey.”

Branch nodded. “Is everything alright?” He raised his brow.

“It is. She is. We are.” Alex cleared her throat as she looked up at him, taking a deep breath. “It’s a…well. I know Casey worked with you for a while, and for what Casey tells me, you’re the reason she started in SVU and also the reason she kept going. You supported her a lot.”

Branch offered a faint smile as he nodded. “I like to think so. But what is your question, Alexandra?”

Alex took a deep breath as she straighten her posture. “I want to for your blessing to marry Casey.” She tried to hold a serious face, but her anxiety was definitely present, and she was ready to walk out of the office before anything else could happen.

Branch frowned as he looked at Alex. “You know that…I’m not her father, right?”

Alex nodded. “I know. But…I know that you care for her, and Casey appreciates you so much, just like I do. But…I thought I’d ask you before I do it.”

Branch nodded as he looked away for a moment. “Alright. Well.” He smiled as he looked back at Alex. “You do have my blessing, Alexandra. Go ask her.”

Alex smiled widely as she nodded. “Thank you, sir.” She huffed a chuckle as she walked to the door.

“You know better than to hurt you, right?” Branch simply asked, raising a brow as he looked at Alex.

Alex stopped in her tracks and turned to look back at Branch, nodding. “I know, sir. I-I wouldn’t dare.”

“Good. Now go get your girl.” Branch grinned.

“I…have someone else to ask.” Alex smiled.

Branch frowned again. “Who else?”

Alex sighed as she smiled. “Mary Clark.”

Branch chuckled. “You two are something else.” He nodded. “Good luck.”

Alex gulped as she heard the ‘good luck’ but simply nodded and offered a smile before she exited the office. It’s been about three weeks since she’s been thinking about doing all this; three weeks of torture in her mind since she hated lying to Casey, and she had been telling Casey that she’s just busy and with a load of work when in reality, she’s been to probably five different jewelry stores trying to find the perfect ring for the redhead. She knew Casey had grown up Catholic, she knew marriage was like a big thing in the religion and even if they wouldn’t be getting married in a church, she wanted to do things right. Casey’s parents were not in the picture anymore, her parents being divorced and creating a distance with Casey since she came out to them, so she knew somehow this was going to be hard for Casey. She wanted everything to be perfect and she realized that asking Branch and Mary Clark was important since they saw Casey grow up, and Casey had always mentioned how she really appreciated what they had done for her and the support she got from them when she was suspended.

Alex had secretly talked to Elizabeth about marrying Casey, Elizabeth had been kidnapped by Alex for a whole afternoon to try to find a ring, Elizabeth letting Alex know how silly she was being because she didn’t think it was a big deal, but in the inside, she was melting at how Alex was a bundle of nervousness as she looked at various rings. So for the last two weeks, Alex has been keeping the box with her at every moment, too afraid that if she left it back home, Casey would easily find it. Alex had only met Mary a few times, after Casey had been working with her again, she had been introduced and she had visited Casey a few times while working with Mary. Mary reminded her a bit of Elizabeth, so she thought maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to ask her, but now standing right outside her house, her anxiety was very present again and she felt like she was about to faint.

“Alex.” Mary smiled. “What a pleasure to have you here. Come on in.” She stepped aside for Alex to come in, closing the door afterwards and then walking to her living room. “Want something to drink?”

Alex shook her head as she cleared her throat. “No, I’m good. Thanks.” She offered a small smile and started looking around to stop her nerves.

Mary sat on the couch and raised her brows in curiosity. “So, is there anything I can help you with? I’m sure that’s why you’re here.” She signaled to Alex to sit down, a smile on her face.

Alex sat down on the couch in front of her to face her, her hands fidgeting with her coat. “Yes. I mean…not work related.”

“Ah.” Mary grinned. “Casey related.”

Alex gulped as she nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yes. I uh…well…” she huffed a chuckle as she looked down at her hands. “I just-“

Mary chuckled softly. “Casey did say you looked cute when you got all nervous.”

Alex looked up at Mary and blushed slightly. “She said that?” She smiled.

Mary nodded. “She always talks about you.” She smiled. “I know why you’re here, Alexandra.”

“Y-You do?”

“The answer is yes.” Mary smiled.

Alex’s breath hitched as she stared at Mary. “How did you-“

“You’re not nervous just for anything, and if it’s Casey related, it’s easy to put the pieces together.” Mary grinned. “You have my blessing. I know Casey grew up in religion, and I’m sure you thought this would mean a lot for Casey.”

“That’s right.” Alex smiled. “And yes, I want to marry Casey.”

Mary’s smile widened. “Have you gotten the ring?”

Alex looked into her pocket and handed it to Mary. “I got it two weeks ago. Have been with me ever since.”

Mary chuckled as she opened the small box. “This is beautiful, and very Casey.”

Alex’s heart warmed at her words, sighing in relief as she smiled. “I’m…so glad to hear that.”

Mary gave back the box and smiled. “You two are very lucky to have each other, and I’m sure Casey is gonna be the happiest. Thank you for considering me for this.”

“Well, I know you’re someone important for Casey, and I know Casey is important to you.” Alex smiled.

“Like a daughter, yes.” Mary smiled. “So, I’ll be here if you guys need anything for preparations and everything, will love to help.”

“Everyone is just…telling me to go ask her and already talking about the wedding as if she already said yes.” Alex shrugged. “Am I missing something here?” She chuckled nervously.

Mary stood up and walked to the other couch, sitting down beside Alex, grabbing her hands, and offering a small smile. “Do you really think Casey is gonna say no?”

Alex shrugged. “I mean-“

“She loves you, Alex. And for the first time in the years I’ve known Casey, I have never seen her happier. So yes, we all agree that Casey will say yes.”

Alex smiled softly as she nodded. “She will.”

“And you already know the terms and conditions, right?” Mary grinned.

Alex nodded. “I could never hurt her.”

Mary nodded. “Very well, so tell me, you have anything planned?” She smirked.

********************

Alex groaned loudly as she threw her head back. “Elliot, this is stupid. We should just leave it here.”

Elliot chuckled as he walked to Alex, picking up the ball from the floor and putting it on the glove. “C’mon, Cabot. You got this.”

Alex shrugged. “What is the point anyway? It’s not like I’m gonna play with her or anything.” She raised her brows as she looked at him, putting the bat against her shoulder. “I know Casey will love to know that I’m learning softball for her but…it’s useless. I hate playing sports. I’m better at running.” She offered a small smile.

Elliot sighed as he nodded. “Casey loves you no matter what.” He smiled. “Why did you want to learn then?”

“I want to take her to the batting cages.” Alex shrugged. “Thought if I had a bit of practice, I wouldn’t make a full of myself there.”

“She knows you don’t know how to play.” Elliot grinned.

“And I could’ve impressed her.” Alex grinned. “But I just decided is better if she teaches me.” She handed Elliot the bat and walked back to her bag to grab her bottle of water.

Elliot squinted his eyes as he walked to Alex. “And why would you want to take her there, anyway? You know she goes time to time on her own.”

Alex shrugged as she looked back at him. “Well, we always go out to eat or for a movie, I thought maybe doing a different date wouldn’t hurt.” She tilted her head. “What?”

Elliot smiled as he shook his head. “No, nothing.”

Alex nodded. “Right.”

“Am I gonna be best man?”

Alex sighed as she covered her face with her hands. “Is it that obvious?” She mumbled as she looked back at Elliot.

Elliot chuckled as he placed everything on the bench and then looked back at Alex. “No, Alex. It’s nice.” He smiled. “I’m happy for you, the ice queen finally found her fire.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “That’s stupid.” She grabbed her bag and then started walking with Elliot.

“Makes sense in my head.” Elliot grinned as he grabbed his things and placed his hand on Alex’s back.

All the way back home, Alex kept playing in her mind the last few days. The moment it was legalized, the thought never left her mind. They had mentioned it before, they had talked about it, once the relationship became pretty serious, Alex brought it up once out of nowhere; never in her life did she think that she’d be talking about marriage with someone. All of her past relationships have always ended before they could even drop the L bomb, but Casey had been different. The moment they had met, the very first time they talked, Alex knew she was screwed, and Casey never left her mind. After she had come back from Witness Protection, the first thing she did was try to get in contact with Casey again, and from there, they became inseparable, Alex being Casey’s biggest support after being suspended. Alex couldn’t have been happier once she asked Casey to move in with her, and the very first night after they had moved all of Casey’s stuff to her place, she knew that she wanted forever with Casey. And to her surprise, Casey thought the same thing.

And now, seven years later, here she was. Carrying with her the box that was literally holding her future. She tried to calm herself down with the fact that she has been with Casey for seven years now. Seven. Mary and Elizabeth had made it very clear that it was obvious that Casey was going to say yes, why wouldn’t she? Unless she didn’t want to officially take that step with Alex, then maybe Alex would scare her away and Casey would want to leave her. But that was just Alex’s anxiety playing tricks with her. She took a deep breath as she unlocked the door of their apartment and walked in, finding Casey in the kitchen. Alex closed the door behind her and leaned over it, smiling softly as she looked at her. She was scared, so scared, but she couldn’t wait to pop the question.

Casey looked up at Alex and smiled. “Hey you.”

“Hi.” Alex smiled, dropping her bag by the door, and then walked to the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Casey’s waist, and kissing her shoulder. “Making dinner?”

Casey nodded. “Yep. I came back home early and thought I could do some dinner for us.” She put the knife down and turned in Alex’s arms, smiling as she faced the blonde. “Good run?” She kissed her nose and then wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck.

Alex nodded softly. “Yes.” She smiled as she pecked her lips softly. “So…I was thinking that for our date tomorrow…maybe we could do something different.”

Casey furrowed her brows. “Like what?”

Alex shrugged. “Well, you said you wanted to go out to eat on Friday. We really didn’t see any good movies that we could watch tomorrow, so I thought we could do something fun together.” She smiled. “I was thinking we could go to the batting cages?”

Casey’s eyes lit up as her smile widened. “Wait, really?”

“Why not? I mean, you love it, and I could really use a different way to work out.”

“Well, if you want a different way to work out, I have many ideas in mind.” Casey bit her lip softly as she felt Alex’s hand go up and down her back.

Alex raised her brow. “I wouldn’t say no to those.” She grinned as she leaned in and kissed her lips. “But what do you say?” She whispered against her lips, pecking them softly.

“I’d love that, baby.” Casey smiled. “But are you sure?”

Alex nodded. “Yes, my love.”

“The sounds like a plan.” Casey kissed her lips softly. “Can you help me get the table ready? Just need to fix this for the salad.” She turned again to finish.

********************

“So, wanna try?” Casey grinned as she looked back at Alex.

Alex gave her a shy smile. “Uh…I just…I don’t think I can do this, Case.”

Casey chuckled softly. “C’mon, baby. You’ve just been standing there watching me. Looking all cute, of course, but still.” She grinned.

Alex chuckled softly as she sighed. “Will you help me?”

“You know I always will.” Casey went out the cage for a moment and brought a helmet for Alex. She walked to Alex and put it on her head carefully, kissing her nose as she smiled. “Still looking very cute.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “C’mon, let’s get this over with.”

“Okay, so, you gonna stand like this, grab the bat right here. Try to keep steady and just focus on the ball.” Casey showed her first how to stand, positioning herself behind Alex, and then wrapped her arms around Alex, placing her hands on top of Alex’s in the bat. “Just focus on the ball.” Once the ball came their way, Alex jumped slightly as Casey moved their arms to bat. Casey chuckled softly. “That was good.”

“Yeah, cause you have your arms wrapped around me.” Alex smirked as she turned to look at Casey.

Casey smirked as she wetted her lips. “If you wanted my arms around you. You could’ve asked for cuddles, you know?”

“I like to watch you in your element. Plus your arms feel good around me, and you behind me? Even better.” Alex bit her lip as she leaned in to kiss Casey’s lips.

Casey chuckled against her lips. “Wanna try again?”

Alex hummed. “Why don’t I watch you again so I can try it on my own next?” Casey raised her brow. “I promise.” She rolled her eyes playfully.

Casey sighed. “Okay, but next one you do it.”

Alex nodded. “Yes, baby.” She smiled softly as Casey positioned herself again, not noticing that Alex quietly exited the cage and went to their stuff.

“You need to focus on the ball and just swing the bat. With practice, you just know the perfect timing.” Casey said as she showed Alex, smiling as she saw the ball go. “See? You just-“ She turned to look at Alex and gasped softly as she saw Alex kneeling with a small box in her hands, her eyes widening as the bat fell to the floor. “Alex…” she breathed out.

Alex giggled. “I thought of so many ways to do this, but this is something you love, that you’ve done your whole life, and I thought maybe it would be more special than any other thing.” She cleared her throat as she tried to hide her anxiety. “I know we’ve been dating for years now, and we basically live together already, but I wanted to do this. I want forever with you. I want to officially call you my wife. Casey, I love you so much.” She chuckled nervously. “I had this whole thing planned to say but…you already know how much I love you. So…Casey Grace Novak…will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Casey sobbed. “Yes!” She jumped on Alex, wrapping her arms around her neck as she kept saying yes over and over again, falling on top of her.

Alex laughed, wrapping her arms around Casey’s waist. She felt tears in her eyes as she held Casey who still kept repeating yes, she didn’t know if she had tears because she was laughing or because she wanted to cry, and for a moment her mind registered that they were both in the dirty floor, but at this moment, she didn’t care one bit…Casey was now her fiancée. Casey started peppering her face with kisses, chuckling as she was trying to hold back her tears. Alex then moved to sit down, Casey straddling her lap and her face moving to Alex’s face to look at each other.

“Can I put the ring now?” Alex laughed softly.

“Oh, yes! I’m sorry!” Casey laughed, looking down and taking her promise ring off, and putting it on her other hand. Alex placed the ring on her finger, making Casey gasp softly. “Is that…is that your birthstone?” She smiled softly as she felt her heart warm.

Alex chuckled softly. “Yeah, I uh…I thought it would be cute.” She looked back up at Casey and smiled. “Fits your eyes perfectly.”

Casey felt her eyes getting teary again as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck again and pulled her in for a kiss. “I love you. So much.” She whispered against her lips.

“I love you more.” Alex smiled. She cleared her throat as she looked around. “Do you think maybe we could…”

“Right! I got too excited.” Casey chuckled as she stood up, helping Alex stand up afterwards.

“You don’t say baby.” Alex grinned as she stood in front of Casey, kissing her cheek. “You wanna keep going?”

Casey shook her head, pulling Alex to her by her waist. “I want to go home with my fiancée.”  

Alex bit her lip as her smile widened. “Let’s go then.”

********************

“So, should I still do it?” Casey whispered softly in her phone, her eyes on the bathroom door to make sure Alex was still showering.

“Why wouldn’t you? Just stick to the plan.” Olivia said on the other line.

“What if she thinks it’s stupid?”

Olivia sighed. “Honey, you’re already engaged. Just do it.”

Casey nodded. “Okay. I will.” She heard the water turning off and raised from the bed. ‘Gotta go, thanks Liv!” She hung up the phone just in time, smiling as Alex walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body.

Alex frowned as she looked at Casey. “You haven’t changed, baby.”

Casey looked down at her body, noticing that she was still in her robe. “Oh, uh. I just didn’t know what to wear.” She chuckled.

“Are you okay, Case?” Alex walked to her and placed her hand on Casey’s cheek. “You seem nervous.”

Casey shook her head as she smiled, leaning in to peck her lips. “All good. We better hurry, our reservation is in an hour.” She offered a small smile as she walked to the closet.

As they drove to the restaurant, Casey kept her purse in her lap, fidgeting with it as she tried to focus on the road. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t surprised that Alex had decided to propose first, she had also been the first one to give the promise ring, so it only made sense. She had also been so touched when she learned that she had talked to Branch and Mary, asking for her hand, Casey almost sobbed when Alex was telling her about it and how nervous she had been. They hadn’t really said anything to the squad yet, the only person that knew for now was Olivia -or that’s what she thought- because she had been the one going with her to pick up the ring. She had thought about doing it the moment they came back from the batting cages, but she still wanted it to be special for Alex just like it was for Casey.

Once they got to the restaurant, Casey had asked for a private spot so it would only be a moment for the two of them, Alex blushed once they got to the table and Casey pulled the chair for her to sit. She then sat down in front of Alex and smiled softly as Alex looked at her, grabbing her hand from across the table and stroking the back of it with her thumb. Her eyes then laid on the beautiful ring that Casey proudly wore, making her smile widen as she touched it. Casey’s whole body warmed as she stared at Alex; Casey loved how naturally beautiful she was, her favorite was when Alex had no makeup on, she had no imperfection at all, and the way her hair just fell perfectly in her face, framing it perfectly, Alex had mentioned that she missed her short hair, but she loved how much it had grown and Casey confessed she’d love her anyway, and those beautiful eyes…those blue eyes that made her melt. She smiled softly, thinking that she didn’t want to wait any longer.

“Baby?” Casey smiled softly.

Alex looked back up at Casey and smiled. “Yes?”

“Did I tell you that you look so beautiful tonight?” Casey grinned.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Just like a bunch of times since you saw me back home.” She grinned.

“You’re always beautiful. But tonight…you look stunning.”

“You’re cheesy.” Alex chuckled softly.

Casey looked down at their hands and grabbed Alex’s, her thumb touching Alex’s promise ring. “Are you still gonna wear this?” She smiled softly.

Alex looked down at her ring and smiled. “At least until we get our rings once we’re married.” She looked back at Casey.

Casey smiled softly. “How about changing it now?”

Alex frowned, a grin on her face. “What?”

Casey reached with her other hand on her purse, getting the small box out and standing up to kneel, a small gasp from Alex. She smiled as she opened the box. “I was gonna wait until after dinner. I wanted to order your favorite dessert, which we still can.” She chuckled softly. “But looking at you…I just couldn’t wait any longer. I really thought I’d beat you into proposing but…you made me the happiest woman alive when you did. So.” She took a deep breath. “You’re the love of my life. I was so happy when you came back into my life, and I just couldn’t imagine it without you in it anymore. I love you more than words can describe…and I know we’re engaged already, but I couldn’t not do this. Alexandra Marie Cabot…will you be mine forever?”

Alex sobbed softly as she nodded. “Yes. Oh my god, yes Casey!” She leaned down and grabbed Casey’s face in her hands, kissing her softly but breaking the kiss as she couldn’t stop smiling. “Oh my.” She laughed softly as she saw Casey putting the ring on her. “That’s…that’s your birthstone.” She looked up at her and smiled.

Casey chuckled softly. “Guess we thought the same thing, huh?” She smiled as she kissed Alex’s hand. “It goes with your eyes.” She winked at her as she stood up, leaning down to kiss her lips again.

Alex shook her head. “I love you.” She smiled. “I was ready to jump on you but...maybe it’s not the best idea right now.” She chuckled.

Casey smiled. “You can jump on me when we’re back home.” She smirked as she sat back in her chair. “I really did want to give it to you last night but…I just wanted it to be as special as it was for me.”

“You could’ve asked me in the shower this morning, and the answer would’ve been the same.” Alex grinned as she grabbed Casey’s hand. “So, now it’s double official.”

Casey chuckled. “You can call your dad now.” She grinned.

Alex tilted her head. “You called him?”

Casey shrugged. “I did the same thing that you did. I asked your dad…and Liz.” She chuckled.

“They’ll be on our asses, huh? Making fun of us.” Alex laughed softly.

“Oh, definitely. She saw me yesterday and was asking me if I was still nervous.” Casey chuckled. “But it was worth it.”

Alex smiled. “We’re way too cheesy.”

“And I love us.” Casey laughed.

********************

Elizabeth shook her head. “You really did think the same thing. It’s beautiful.” She grinned as she looked up at Alex. “So…have you thought about who’s going to marry you?”

Alex shrugged as she sat back down. “Not sure yet. We were thinking about the civil wedding being the only one, so there’ll be a party after.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Would you like me to marry you?”

Alex smiled. “I…wanted you to uh….be my witness.”

Elizabeth smiled as she nodded. “It’ll be an honor.”

“Thank you.” Alex smiled.

“Who is Casey asking?”

“I think she’s asking Mary.” Alex shrugged. “She’s like a mother to her.”

“Very well. I’ll make sure to find you someone. I’ll be in charge of that.” Elizabeth smiled.

Alex nodded. “Okay. We’ll go today to get the license, so I’ll let you know when we have it.” She stood up and then turned to look at Elizabeth. “Did you intimidate Casey when she talked to you?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Just enough for her to be a little scared.” She smirked.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Right. See you tomorrow, Liz.” She smiled before she left.

Elizabeth smiled as she shook her head. “Who could possibly be good to marry these two?” She whispered to herself as she looked down at her files. She then heard a knock on her door and looked up. “Lena, what are you doing here?”

Lena smiled as she walked to Elizabeth’s desk. “I heard the news, Cabot and Novak getting married.”

Elizabeth smiled. “The rebels are making it official.”

Lena laughed. “Have you got anyone to marry them or are you doing it?”

“Alex asked me to be her witness. So, yes. I’m looking for someone.” Elizabeth raised her brow. “Got anyone in mind?”

Lena smirked. “I’m in, let me know when it is, and I’ll clear my schedule.” She nodded and then walked out of the office.

Elizabeth just stared at the door and nodded. “I guess I found the right person.” She chuckled.

********************

“Okay, I just went to check on Casey, she’s looking beautiful.” Olivia smiled as she closed the door behind her.

Alex groaned. “Why is it a thing to not be able to look at my fiancée? I just want to give her a kiss.”

Olivia chuckled. “Because it’s supposed to be bad luck. And you’ll see her in half an hour.” She smiled.

Alex sighed as she turned to look at herself in the mirror, smiling softly as she looked at her dress. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“You look beautiful, Alex.” Olivia smiled.

“I can’t wait to marry her.” Alex smiled as she turned to look at Olivia. “Never in my life did I think that I’d be getting married.”

“Fate changes sometimes. And you two got lucky.”

Alex smiled as she nodded, trying to hide her nervousness and anxiety. Half an hour felt like two hours for both women, but finally the moment had arrived. They had opted to get married in Alex’s house in the Hamptons, it had a beautiful backyard, big enough for their friends and for the small party they had decided to have. Alex decided she’d be the one waiting for Casey, but still walked down the aisle in the arm of her father. Alex felt like she was going to faint as she looked at Casey, smiling softly and feeling her eyes getting teary. Elliot had been the chosen one to take Casey down the aisle, telling Casey that it would be an honor to take his ‘sister’ to Alex.

Elliot smiled as he looked at Alex. “Take care of her.” He winked at them and went to sit down in the front.

Alex smiled as she held Casey’s hand. “You look beautiful.”

Casey smiled as she tried to swallow back her tears. “So do you. So beautiful.”

Alex looked back at Elizabeth and frowned. “Who’s going to marry us?” She whispered softly as she noticed no one was there.

“Desperate much, Alexandra?” Lena said as she smiled, standing behind the small table and smiling at both women. “Surprised?”

Casey chuckled softly. “A little?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah.” She chuckled.

Lena smiled. “You two were always a pain in the ass, so I thought it was the right choice for me to be the one to marry you two. And we all agree here that you two are definitely meant to be.” She winked at them. “It’s an honor to marry you two. So, shall we begin?” She grinned.

After the whole ceremony and signing papers, finally Casey and Alex said their ‘I do’ and the ceremony was finalized. The guys helped add some other decorations so the party could start. Alex and Casey never separated from each other, talking, and laughing with the rest of the guests and taking pictures. Both women felt like they were living in a dream, staring at each other every possible chance to make sure they were actually living in this moment. Eventually, the moment of their first official dance arrived, standing in the middle and holding onto each other as they swayed to the music.

Alex rested her forehead against Casey’s and smiled softly. “Not that I don’t love our family and friends but…I cannot wait to get out of here.” She whispered softly.

Casey chuckled. “You and me both, baby.” She smiled. “Can’t wait to get out of here with my wife.”

“You got something planned, Mrs. Cabot?” Alex raised her brow as she grinned.

Casey blushed softly. “You know that if I get Petrovsky in trial, she’ll definitely call me Mrs. Cabot, now?” She chuckled.

Alex shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind that. After all, it is now part of your name.” She grinned.

Casey nibbled on her lip as she smiled. “And to answer your question…yes. I do have something planned.” She leaned in to whisper in her ear. “But that’s for me to know and for you to find out later.” She smirked as she pulled away, enough to kiss Alex’s lips softly.

“Can’t wait.” Alex smiled against her lips, pulling her impossibly closer to kiss her again. “I love you.” She whispered against her lips.

“I love you even more.” Casey smiled, kissing her lips again.

[brightlycoloredteacups]

Hiii, can you write a smut that Orm gets jealous and makes Y/n suck him in the throne room, And makes her call him Ocean Master🙏🙏 with face fucking, spanking, angry sex, choking, hair pulling and anything else you want As much as you want to write ❤️❤️

Whelp...I didn't get to the spanking but I hope I did ok enough!

            You and Orm had been fighting a lot recently. It wasn’t normal. From the moment you two met years ago there hadn’t been an angry word between you and now you couldn’t stop shouting at each other. Orm intrinsically understood all the fighting was his fault. He was letting his insecurities get the best of him, but it was hard not to. Everything had been ripped from him, his home, his former fiancée, his teacher. He went from beloved Prince Orm to the black fish seemingly overnight. Sure, Arthur and Mera forgave him for his heroics when he saved junior, but the people of Atlantis had long memories. Besides, you were like, really hot and it annoyed him that you weren’t around much anymore.

            You were a general in the Atlantean army. Your tactical know-how and battle prowess were legendary. So much so the Brine King himself asked for your hand in marriage. On top of that, you were incredibly intelligent with a special interest in what Arthur called ‘anthropology’. You went out of your way to learn about the people of the Seven Kingdoms of Atlantis and now, the surface world. Arthur relied on you heavily for diplomacy, which took you away a lot. Now, you were spending more time with Arthur than Orm was comfortable with. Thus, all the fighting.

            Orm was in the throne room, looking at the seat of Atlantis, trying his best not to grind his teeth into his gums. “Your highness?” Your voice rings out clear. The title irritates him further, you, his beloved, don’t call him that, you call him by his name. He turns around, glaring at you. You meet it with a stony look of your own. “Is this what we’re reduced to?” He asks, “Honorifics?”

“Well, you’re not acting much like a lover these days.” Orm feels his eye twitch. “Neither have you.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?” He doesn’t miss the hurt in your voice, but he’s seeing red. He swims up to you, only stopped by your hand around his throat. It isn’t enough to hurt, but he knows if you decide to squeeze, he’ll be in a pain he’d never felt before. “Why are you spending so much time with Arthur?” His tone is accusatory, yours is flat when you respond. “It’s my job.”

“You’re late coming back to our quarters,”

“We have a lot to discuss.”

“You spend a lot of time in here.”

“It’s the throne room, of course we do.”

“You’re alone with him.” He feels your fingers tighten in frustration. Something in Orm’s cock stirs. “Only because I have to be.”

“Because you want to be.” He snaps. Your fingers tighten to a painful degree as you bring him close. Another thrill runs through him. “What has gotten into you?”

“How do you think it looks when my woman spends all her free time with Arthur? Hm? How does it look to outsiders when you two leave this place alone after hours of being here. What do you wonder they’re thinking you two get up to?” You snarl and push him back with so much force he hits the throne with a small ‘oof’. “What do others think or what you think?” You spit at him. “Do you honestly think I’d go for someone like Arthur when I have you?”

            There’s a heavy silence that lingers between you two for a long time. You’d given him the validation he wanted, but his mind was clouding over with lust. He liked you aggressive. “Prove it,” Orm challenges, “Prove you like me better.” You roll your eyes in exasperation, crossing your arms. “And how do you propose I do that?” He doesn’t answer you, instead he considers you. You’re so beautiful, floating in front of him, angry, done with his shit. “Well?” You growl. That’s it, that’s all it takes for him to be at full mast.

            Not caring if you two get caught, Orm undoes his suit enough to bring his cock out. You look at it, mouth open in disbelief. “Are you insane?” You hiss. “No,” Orm says smiling, “I’m the Ocean Master,” You balk at him refusing to believe this was happening. “You said you wanted to prove to me you like me better, prove it.” He motions to his length. With only a few moments hesitation you relent. He swears he gets harder just knowing what you’re about to do as you swim to him. You begin to undo your own suit, but he puts up a hand to stop you. “Suck.” Is his simple command.

            You say nothing as you take position. He adjusts his posture, giving you better access. You waste no time in licking a long strip from base to tip. “No teasing,” He demands. You follow directions and pop the head in your mouth and give a particularly hard suck. He lets his head fall back at the phenomenal sensation. You set a brutal pace; what you can’t reach with your mouth you reach with your hands. He knows you can take him all the way and wants that from you now. You aren’t giving it to him, and that’s frustrating.

            He places his hands on either side of your head. You understood the significance of this action and place your hands on his thighs, bracing yourself for what’s coming. Even in his frustration and anger he waits for your silent signal to go ahead. You tap his thigh twice. You’re ready, good. He thrust into your mouth, stay there for a few seconds before pulling back out.

            It’s vicious, the way he fucks your mouth. You suck every time he pulls out and he just barely remembers to wait a few moments for you to take a breath. But this is what he needs, your permission to use you as he sees fit. To fuck you as he pleases. Who else would allow him to do this to them for free if not someone that truly cared for him? He climaxes within minutes, making sure he empties himself down your throat before ripping you off him. You’re gasping for breathe the moment he does, ignoring the spurts of cum that float around you.

            He pulls you into a standing position, undoes the bottom of your suit and turns you around so your ass faces him. If you two were in your private quarters, he’d take the time to return the favor. Taking your clit into his mouth and sucking you dry, but this wasn’t about you right now. Without waiting for you to say anything he grabs your hips and pulls you into his lap, his thick cock enters your wet cunt with ease. Good, you were at least enjoying this. “Move,” He commands. You begin to bounce, letting out little gasps of pleasure.

            He was a long way off in terms or orgasm, but you weren’t. He could tell from the way your pussy fluttered around him. His eyes rolled so far to the back of his head he nearly found his brain. “Don’t you dare cum until I tell you to,” He growls. He pulls you back to his chest, hand closing around your neck this time. His free hand manages to wiggle its way between your legs to find your clit. He rubs harsh circles, reveling in the sound of your whimpering. The position is awkward for you, so you can’t bounce up and down like you so desperately want to. You settle with grinding. “Who do you belong to?” He asks. “Orm Marius,” you say, his fingers tighten around your throat. He asks the question again, “Who do you belong to?”

“His highness, Prince Orm.” The hand around your throat tightens more. He’s aware that you’ll be blacking out if he leaves his grip that tight for long, he hopes you get the answer right this time. “Who-”

“O-ocean Master!” You manage weakly. His smile is wicked as he loosens his grip. “That’s right,” he tells you, allowing you a little more space to bounce. “That’s right, you belong to me, not to Arthur. Not to the king of Atlantis, but to me.”

“I don’t want to belong to anyone else.” He hadn’t expected your comment. It strikes a chord with him. You continue, “No one else is as good as you. No one fucks me like you, no one makes me come as hard as you. There’s no one else but you, Ocean Master, no one.” His ego stroked to the fullest, Orm decides to reward you for being such a good girl. Quicker than you can fathom, he switches positions. You’re bent over an arm of the throne, the metal digging painfully into your skin. Orm, his hands on your hips, is thrusting into you from behind. It wasn’t fast, but it was rough. Every time he pulls out and pushes back in you see stars. “Please, I won’t last much longer.” You tell him, gripping onto the back of the throne for support.

            You think your pleas fall on def ears until you hear him say, “Cum for me.” It’s as if your body is awaiting such a command. He watches as you writhe beneath him, coming hard around him. He groans at the feeling of your pussy squeezing him, milking him for everything he has, he lets himself go inside you, painting your walls with thick ropes of cum. You two stay in that position for a long while before you gather yourself and redo your clothing.

            You turn to him finally, lips pursed. “Do you feel better now?” You ask him. Actually, he felt foolish about the entire thing, but he nodded instead. “Good,” You bring him in for a deep kiss. He feels so silly for doubting you he can’t bring himself to look in your eyes. “We will never do this in the throne room again, do you understand?” He nods. “I mean it. Never.”

            He gives you another quick kiss. “Just the one time,” He promises. For the first time in weeks, you gave him a smile. He’s relieved. All the pressure building between you two had dissipated. “I love you,” He whispers, pressing his forehead to yours. “I love you too,” you tell him. “Now, go back to our quarters,” you say, pulling away from him. “I’ll be along in a few moments; I have another meeting to attend.” Orm frowns, “What could Arthur possibly want to talk about this time?”

            You frown and shake your head, swimming away from him, “My meeting is with the Ocean Master,” You inform him, “Something about a performance review.” You shrug and disappear into the hall. Orm smiles to himself wondering how he got so lucky to find a woman like you.

[ang3l0fde4th4ndd0gs]

James X Evan x Reggie

I of course can't help it and wrote this a bit ago. Life got very very busy so I apologize for not posting microfics for a while. But I have at least two done and I will try to post a 3rd soon.

Word Count: 1,097

NSFW, Violence Warning Under the cut

“Evan, I’m telling you, nothing’s gonna happen here. We’re both Barty’s exes. I can’t. He’d kill us both.”Regulus explained. It was the same conversation the two had been having for a week and Regulus was becoming annoyed with it.

“James already agreed. Please?”Evan asked again.

“Rosie, I keep telling you. Barty will kill us both and leave no evidence without hesitation. Stop asking.”

“Why do you care so much what he thinks anyway?”

“Because he’s still my friend. I don’t betray people that way.”

“If I told you why we broke up, you in particular would be all over me right now.”

“Told you, I don’t want to know.”

“Reg-”

“Evan, don’t.”

Regulus opened his book again, reading silently. The silence was broken in seconds.

“Barty used the torture curse on your brother. I managed to refuse and get away but he kept going.”Evan blurted out, fidgeting with his fingers.

Regulus’ hands tensed up and he dropped his book in his lap. “Why would he do that?”

“Because he seemed to enjoy it.”

“He…”Regulus couldn’t finish the sentence, he only shook his head

“What do you think of your friend now, hm?”

“Evan, please don’t. Yes, what he did was absolutely horrible. But what am I supposed to do with that?”

“Help me make him feel awful. That’s all. Fuck the hell out of me until he walks in and sees it.”

“He’ll kill all three of us, Evan.”

“He won’t. I’ll keep us safe.”

“Evan, you’re out of your mind.”

“I’m pissed and heartbroken and mortified because our best friend used the torture curse on people I care about. I’m not crazy for that.”

“Because you really didn’t know that he would do something like that.”

“I didn’t know that he was cruel, I knew all too well that he was crazy but that’s it.”

“What all are you looking for here?”Regulus asked, moving from his laying position on his bed to sit on the side of his face, his full attention on Evan.

“A one night stand to piss off our ex boyfriend and make him leave us alone. That’s all. Anything further can be a different conversation.”

Regulus just sat quietly, mulling over the idea. Evan pulled at the rips in his jeans silently.

“Evan, why James and I both? You could have picked anyone. You could have chosen Sirius, honestly.”Regulus asked.

“Because you’re you. You were everything to him even while he and I were together. And you getting with James, well, that drove him mad.”

“Guess that’s fair. But how do we even know that we’d be good together? Not like we’ve even been undressed around each other or anything.”

“Could test it first.”

“Go get James, Rosier.”

Evan smirked and left the room to go get James. Regulus gently pulled at his blazer, thinking about whatever may happen next.

Only a few minutes later, Evan returned with James following close behind him. Regulus looked up at James immediately.

“James, you agreed to this?”Regulus asked.

“He hurt Sirius. Of course I did.”James replied.

“James, why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you how your best friend hurt your brother that way.”

Regulus chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, staring at his lap.

“Evan, do you know why I’ve only ever had two boyfriends?”Regulus asked.

“No.”Evan replied.

“I was not born a male… James paid for my top surgery because my parents would never have let me. I have a flat chest but uhm… Still a girl on the bottom.”

“Oh. Me too.”

“You… Huh? It’s been seven years, we graduate in a week and you couldn’t have told me that…?”

“Didn’t figure it would matter. You’ve been with someone the whole time.”

Regulus shook his head, smiling a little. Evan smirked and sat down beside Regulus.

“I swear, I thought you guys would have lost your minds if I ever told you that.”Regulus laughed.

“Well, we’re cooler than that, c’mon now.”

“Just making sure.”

“How do you want to check the chemistry here?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

Evan grinned as he glanced at James. “Still good with it, Potter?”

“Anything to make that fucker jealous.”

“Ooh. Swearing? Damn.”

Regulus grabbed Evan’s chin with two fingers and pressed his lips to the blonde’s. Evan grabbed hold of Regulus’ uniform shirt. When they parted for air, Regulus was half in Evan’s lap and James was leaning against the bedpost, smirking.

“Is that a final yes?”Evan teases, glancing down at Regulus’ legs still straddling his thigh.

“Yes. Definitely a yes.”Regulus replied.

“Potter?”

“Oh, you two have fun. I’d just watch if I was allowed.”James replied.

“Are you sure you’re gay?”Evan laughed.

James flipped Evan the finger. “Pansexual and he doesn’t even react like that to me. So have fun. I’ll be here.”

“Deal.”

Regulus blushed slightly, grinding gently against Evan’s thigh. Evan wrapped his hands around his roommates’ hips.

“Oh~? Does that feel good?”he teased Reg, resting his forehead on the other boy’s.

“Shut up, Rosie.”

“Move faster and I’ll consider it.”

Regulus picked up his pace, letting out soft moans as he grinded his clit against Evan’s thigh.

“Pants off. You’re going to ruin them.”James teased.

“So it is a fetish thing.”Evan joked as he unbuttoned Regulus’ uniform pants.

“If it was a fetish, I’d get him off more and let him ruin both.”

“Oh, fuck. Definitely do that.”

“Reggie?”

“Anything.”Regulus moaned. “It’s all hot. Just please don’t stop.”

James sat behind Regulus and slid his arm around his boyfriend’s waist, his fingers toying with the other boy’s clit. Regulus moaned louder, becoming overstimulated by the two boys getting him off.

“Please~”he moaned, leaning back and resting his head in James’ neck.

“Please what?”Evan replied, reaching across to cup James’ dick in one hand over his jeans.

“More~”

James gasped softly as he slowly started to grind against Evan’s hand.

“Oh shit…”James moaned.

“Tell me when to stop?”Evan asked, smirking.

“Don’t. Fuck.”

Evan unbuttoned and unzipped James’ uniform pants. “Since you’re so worried about ruining them.”

James gasped as Evan’s hand got closer, only a thin layer of fabric between the boy’s palm and his dick. In moments, the three of them were moaning and finishing, covering the blankets and each others’ laps. Though they weren't paying attention, Barty had been standing in the doorway for at least a few minutes, watching silently, his wand leveled at the back of James’ head.

[alder-saan]

Hyde and need

Larissa Weems x hyde! reader

The title makes literally no sense but I don't care.

Hurt/angst and comfort

TW : involuntary commitment

words count : ~ 1.9k

-> additional chapter

Three men in some kind of armour were pointing guns at you. You raised your hands, terrified. Your heart was racing in your chest. Who were they? What did they want from you? 

“Now you’ll follow us, Mx.”

“Who are you? What do you want from me?”

“We are HDC, Mx. Do not resist and no harm will come to you.”

Everyone in the street was looking at you. You couldn’t run. You had to follow them. You nodded. They led you to an armoured truck, and you entered in the back. A few seconds later, you heard the engine humming, and a voice talking on a mobile.

“Yes, Ms Weems, we have them. Don’t worry, you are safe now.”

Your heart sank. Of all people, you would have never thought about her. She called them. She betrayed you. You never hurt her, you never let her think you could potentially be dangerous. So why? And above all, how did she know?

You opened your eyes, in your little room. Four white walls, a grey floor, a white door locked from the outside, a small window you couldn’t open, a bed, blue sheets, a desk, a washbasin, empty shelves (except for seven prisoner, oh sorry, patient outfits). You sighed and looked at the clock above the door. 6:58. The bell would ring in 2 minutes.

Today was your last day in HDC. Hyde Detention Centers. It had been created many years ago to keep an eye on the hydes of the United States. If someone had a doubt on your dangerousness, they could call, and some staff would pick up the hyde and take them to one of the centres, and keep them for a year to do all sorts of assessments. That was what happened to you.

Being a hyde wasn’t the most fun thing in the world.

You were an outcast among outcasts.

You soon learnt to never tell anyone what you were, pretending to be a normie. And so you had never been in one of these centres, until she betrayed you. The only people who knew your little secret were your parents. They had managed to educate you in a way you never had to struggle with your hyde part.

And so you had thought you could live like anyone else. Happy, with a lover, with a family, with friends.

Until she betrayed you.

Larissa Weems.

Your girlfriend.

Your ex-girlfriend.

Well officially you never broke up but… 

The bell rang. The click of the door told you that it was unlocked, so you could go to the refectory. You dressed in the grey trousers and shirt, put on your shoes, and went out of your room.

You were one of the first to take your breakfast, as always. And even though it wasn’t good, you enjoyed the taste of freedom a last meal in HDC tasted. One year between these walls, seeing psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors. One year. And it was over. It had no suspense. You knew you were not dangerous. You never attacked anybody, you knew how to deal with your hyde part. You knew in a couple of hours you would be free. For EVER. Now you were in their database, the only way they could get you once again, after releasing you, was evidence you had killed someone. And as you planned to never kill anyone… 

“Mx L/N, we are happy to tell you we didn’t find any evidence you could be dangerous. You are now free. Nevertheless, you have to go every two months to an appointment with one of our affiliated psychologists.”

The man gave you a stack of paper to sign. You took them, half-crying.

“Thank you, thank you!”

You knew it. But you couldn’t really believe it. It was over. It was all over. You would be able to start a new life.

“Now someone will drive you back to your home.”

You opened your door, on the third floor of a building.

Your home. Your apartment. It was full of dust, but it was your home. It still smelled of the perfume you used to wear in the evening to visit Larissa. On a chair by the window you saw the blue scarf she had lent you. You felt your heart drop. You had left this place a year ago. And a year ago you were still with her. Here and there, photos of you and her on the walls. On the calendar, a little star to mark an evening when you wanted to take her to the cinema.

You couldn't.

You had left the day before.

You closed the door and cried, here, on the dusty floor.

You knew you couldn’t stay here to start a new life. Everything reminded you of Larissa. She was everywhere. In every inch of your apartment, in every street, on every bench, behind every door…

Already two months had passed. You almost never went out of your home. Sometimes, getting out of your bed was difficult. But today, you had your appointment with the psychologist. And waiting patiently for the time at home bored you terribly, so you decided to go early. At worst you would wait in the waiting room… You knew that there were always things in the waiting rooms, magazines, books, or even posters to read…

And you arrived three quarters of an hour early. You entered the building and searched for the waiting room. A woman indicated that it was the first door on the floor.

What you didn’t know was that Larissa was waiting for one of her students. 

And when you entered the waiting room, you noticed her. She was working, her laptop on her lap. She looked up to see who was entering and froze.

“Y/N?”

You opened your mouth but no sound went out of it. Larissa closed her laptop.

“Y/N, is that really you?”

You couldn’t move. Why? Why did she have to follow you everywhere? Why? She walked towards you.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” You coldly said.

“How… How was this year? They didn’t let me call you or send you any message…”

“How was this year? I don’t know. I was a prisoner even though I never did any harm, but because I am a hyde, my ex-girlfriend sent me to this jail for one year.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” she almost whispered. “I was afraid… It was the beginning of the attacks… Of course I didn’t know-”

“Don’t apologise. I understand. I was the one lying, and no one likes hydes. I understand you now. I’ll have to learn how to deal with this without lying. I don’t want this situation to happen again.”

You sat on a bench seat. You tried to keep the best poker face you could.

“What do you want to do, now?” she asked.

“I think I will move. It's hard for me to live here. I'm going to find a city where no one knows me, and I'll be living alone for the rest of my life. I should never have tried to live with people.”

Larissa knew very well how you were feeling right now. Your mouth corners were not like in your natural smile. You were trying to hide your sadness. Plus, she knew you were really sociable, you needed people around you, without them, you couldn't feel alive. And what did you mean by “with people”, why didn’t you say “with OTHER people”? She sat next to you. How she wished to be a year earlier. When you were not afraid to show her how you felt, when you were crying in her arms because you trusted her… She had ruined everything. Your condition, her loneliness, your loneliness, it was all her fault. Guilt had been eating her up for a year and two months, but it was nothing compared with how she felt now.

“I know you’re still angry at me, I understand that. But I want you to know I really missed you. I didn’t… sent you there because I didn’t trust you. I trusted you. I still do.”

“Why then?” your eyes were filled with tears, you tried to swallow them but couldn’t.

“Because I didn’t want you to be suspected. By anyone, including me. If the attacks would have continued while you were still here, I knew I would have doubts at one point. And… to be honest, when I learnt you were a hyde I felt… betrayed. You were the one who didn’t trust me. You could have told me. But you decided to lie. That’s what I was thinking. It’s not your fault though. I know I was wrong. I know I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

You couldn't hold back your cries any longer and burst into tears. She cradled you in her arms.

“No, please, don’t cry… You’re too good for that.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

She cupped your face and looked at your eyes, wiping your tears with her thumbs.

“Don’t… That’s my fault, entirely. You didn’t do anything wrong. I want you to understand that, okay? You don’t have to feel guilty.”

“I-I…”

“I know we are not as close as we used to be, but you still can tell me anything. You know I’m a good listener.”

“I-I hate being a hyde, I always have hated it… Why am I a hyde? Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to live alone? Why…”

She held you tight.

“Don’t say that… You don’t have to live alone. I’m sure you’ll find awesome people in your new city.”

“Who would date a hyde, uh? Who would be friends with a hyde?” you almost yelled.

“I would.”

You looked up, only to see her eyes, glistening with tears.

“I would be friends with you. I would even date you if you accept to give me a second chance.”

You didn’t know what to say. Of course you wanted her to date you again. But she hurt you. She hurt you so bad.

“If you don’t want to, I understand. I would love to have a chance to make amends though. I want you back. I want everything back.”

You gently kissed her. She was surprised, at first, but reciprocated. God, how you missed this feeling... Being in her arms, having your lips against hers... You wrapped your arms around her neck, and slowly broke the kiss.

“I want you back too.” you whispered against her mouth.

“OH. MY. GOD.” a girl said.

You looked at her. Blond hair, blue and pink highlights, nevermore’s uniform. Larissa went red.

“Miss Sinclair, since when are you listening to us?”

“Since the second ‘I want you back’, I haven't heard anything before.” she said.

“You know, if you say, ‘the second’, it means you know there is another before?”

“Oh, uh, I… I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. Please do not post it anywhere. Not on your blog, not on instagram, tik tok, snapchat, facebook, twitter, tumblr or any other social media.”

You chuckled.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I have to drive Enid back to Nevermore, what if we meet in the Weathervane after your appointment? We could catch up…”

“Sounds lovely,” you said.

______________________________________________

The fuck this is the most borderline fic I've ever wrote...

Hope you all liked it !

[hughiecampbelle]

Dread (Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

Character/s: Bucky

Word Count: 1,824

A/N: Ahhhh okay I don't really talk about it here, or to anyone lol, but last year I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I still feel like "it" wasn't bad enough and idk, I'm afraid if I did tell someone, they'd say what I'm thinking. My extended family can't handle this kind of info and my mum is dealing with the same thing, so I end up taking care of her even when things are bad. I've been having a lot of trouble the past few months days with sleeping and I thought I'd write about it. I'm using my emotional support Bucky lol. Anyways, just a therapy fic. Things will go back to normal asap! 💜💜💜

You shatter. Like glass, like snow, like silence. Bursting into thousands, millions,of  infinitely beautiful pieces. You glitter under the light, between his fingers. Oh y/n, the pity dripping from his voice like honey, thick and sweet across his teeth, oh no. You splinter, cracking right down the middle. Cheekbone and shoulder blade and fractured, punctured vertebrae compress together into one anonymous pile of bone. Pile of you. Collected into dust pans, into willing palms. All serrated edges and knife like anger, hurt and screaming and ashamed. He nicks himself on you, on a tooth or empty eye socket, slicing himself open. Sorrysorrysorrysorry. The words tumble from your mouth as it falls apart, crashing into the floor, scattered everywhere. He waves you away. He deserves it, he thinks, he says, he insists. You deserved it, too. It was your fault. You didn’t fight back. You didn’t scream. You didn’t tell them. No, he argues, the thoughts breaking through your open wounds. Drawn by ice pick, your skin chipped, two words the play on loop. My. Fault. No, his is angry now, speaking to the fragments. Don’t say that. Don’t- don’t say that. Okayokayokayokay. In secret though, when he has his back turned, attention carried away, you think it very quietly. Over and over until there is no more space left, until you fear you will splinter all over again. Myfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfault. 

He used to try to fill the silence. Frantic in the dark, blinded, left to wander, searching for the switch. The bedside lamp spills her light across the room. You can name everything in it. An unmade bed. Two tables. Two lamps. Two people, sleep deprived, scared to death for the same reason. He used to try to fill the empty space with every question that came to mind. Beneath his voice you sniffled, your heart beating in your ears, pounding too loud. Beneath the sound you tried to catch your breath, gasping for air, trying to fill your lungs, your blood, your body. You can still feel it, you can still hear it, the dream indistinguishable from reality. He used to talk until he was out of breath, until there was nothing left to ask, hoping he would be able to better understand. Why you were doing what you did, why this happened sometimes, who did this. He doesn’t do that anymore. Now he knows. It was a guessing game, a series of assumptions. Fragmented ideas sewn together, the gaps numerous and wide, a series of events and half-truths constructed poorly to make a story. Holey. Holy. And then, once, only once, you told him. You told him everything, unable to look at him for a long time, unable to stop yourself. You put what you’ve never been able to into words. And then he stopped. 

He finds you under the bed. You’re not sure when it became the place, the space to occupy. A habit. Maybe when it started, all those years ago, crying beneath the exoskeleton, needing to feel hugged without the threat of human touch. Maybe it wasn’t suffocating like the closet or exposed out in the open like behind the bedroom door. Maybe it was the last place they would ever find you, the last place to look. Seven years old. Eleven, thirteen, fifteen, seventeen all over again. It makes you feel so small, so little, as if no time has passed. As if those versions of you have been stuck under there all this time. He finds your part of the mattress empty, blankets dragged down as if they’d gotten caught on something. He follows the sound of crying. Soft sobs escape you, the cool of the floorboards cold beneath your cheek. On his hands and knees, his t-shirt loose around his arms, his hair disheveled. Eye-level now. There is sorrow in those blue eyes, pity, but something more. Something that makes you want to curl around him, hold him, let him cry as you are now. Understanding. Recognition. 

What a dangerous thing. 

It’s happened again. The dream with the boy, the dream with the man. His knee between your legs. Spreading them. Pushing into you. On your stomach. You can’t move or speak, you can’t fight. It happened again and now you can’t stop feeling it, experiencing it. Like looking into the mouth of a wolf, counting his teeth, believing naively that you are safe with your hand halfway down his throat. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. It doesn’t matter where you go or who you pretend to be. They follow you. They haunt you. That fucking laugh. Hysterical, cynical, a warning before his hands crawled all over you. You hear it now, under the bed, far from him. You hear it all the time. Strangers look like him. A flash of panic spreads in your chest before you realize it’s someone else. Before you name yourself paranoid, crazy. Again? It’s barely above a whisper. His voice is so thin, so shaky, as if afraid any louder would scare you away. He shouldn’t have to ask. He shouldn’t have to deal with this, with you. You nod, your hands balled into you, your knees to your chest. Yesyesyesyesyes. Againagainagainagain. 

He doesn’t put his hands on you. Not now, not ever. He doesn’t say the things that have been said about you, your body, the space you are forced to occupy. He doesn’t have the thoughts that they had or the urges or the good sense to target someone who would never say anything. Staring at one another. He knows. Not the details, or the guys, or the boys, but he knows. Parts of the past play on loop. Moments he wishes he could forget, destroy, set aflame. Moments that haunt him even on a bright, sunny day where he feels as if nothing bad has ever happened. Even then, there is a ringing in his ears. There is something small and deep that tells him he is running away from something inescapable. That he is a fool for believing he could ever move on. 

It’s too late to say anything. It’s too late to do anything. You can’t remember their names, their faces. You don’t remember when it started, only that it did. It’s never really stopped since then. What a waste, you think, what a terrible waste you’ve become. Two children who would be laughed at, who would be made into jokes, who would grow up and live life with the knowledge that they are not immune to terrible things. He doesn’t join you under there. Instead, he rolls on his back, arm stretched outward, his hand, his wrist, his fingertips rest at the edges of the shadow. His eyes cast upward in awe as if he were looking at a sky full of stars and not a vast blankness of white ceiling. Eventually, your hand will find his. Millimeters away, not yet touching, close enough to feel though. That’s all you have to offer in this moment. He will take it. He will take nothing. But he will never take everything like they have done. You’re on your stomach, your back, always crying. Always trying to get away, but they are too strong, too powerful. They are bigger than you. 

They will say and do things that make you feel dirty. Soiled. Broken. You will scrub your skin raw, but it’s a feeling that never dissipates. It never goes away. You used to hide in the shower. Midnight, one, two, three. He’d hear the water going, see the steam. You’d appear, scrubbed anew and smelling like coconut. Sweet. Summery. Familiar. Your eyes would be rimmed red. Bloodshot. You’d make up an excuse. Anything to get away with it. Along the way you stopped. Along the way you realized the water could never be hot enough, you could never wash away the pieces of you they took. Under the bed it was. You prayed he wouldn’t wake up, that you wouldn’t disturb him, but it never worked. You prayed like that, before, before they did what they did. You gave up on God like He’d given up on you. It only seemed right. Fair. He used to search the entire apartment, calling out your name, his heart suddenly in your throat. Petrified you left him, petrified something terrible happened.  Now he knows what to expect. He knows the place. You lay like that, barely touching, trying to catch your breath, until one of you falls asleep. Eventually, the other follows.

The morning comes. Her warm light welcomes you. You watch him for a while, quietly, running your eyes over the hard line of his jaw, the softness of his cheek, the bridge of his nose. Your finger will draw stars, and circles, and hearts into the floorboards. The day is welcome. It’s the night when things turn sour. When he wakes, you will crawl out from under the frame. You will shower and dress and move on from what’s been tormenting you. You will play pretend. He won’t push the subject, knowing better now, but he will remain acutely aware of your every move. You’ll grab his hand, his arm, the least frightening act of affection, and walk together. You’ll have your coffee. You’ll talk with Sam. You’ll smile, and laugh, and act as if nothing has happened. It’s always these moments that strike him the hardest: after the nightmares, the feeling, the crying, you have no choice but to pick yourself up and carry on. You’re not overly affectionate, though you show him it’s okay, things are better now. Tentatively, his hand finds its way on the small of your back. You let him. 

Tonight it will happen all over again. That dream will come. You will hide. He won’t wake up, though. Tonight he will sleep through it. You will join him in the bed before he realizes, before his eyes open, before he comes to. He thinks things are getting better. And they will, but for now this is how it will be. Two things can be true at once. Two people can exist in a single body. Today, you are you, but the sun will set and that child will take over and you can do nothing but let them. Two realities can exist. Here, you will thrive. There, you are allowed to crumble. He will place his hand on your back. He will refill your mug. He won’t take this light mood for granted. He knows what comes next. He knows the emotions you place in the closet just to exist here, in this room, with these people. He knows because he does the same.

You will thank him quietly, for putting up with you, for dealing with you, but he will always shake his head, unsure of how to put his exact thoughts into words. He’s never minded taking care of you. You’re worth it. You always have been.

[chososchalupa]

wish that it was me

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The last person you wanted to see at this meeting was your older brother. The same brother who left you in the hands of Chuuya Nakahara and the Port Mafia years ago, but all you can see now are the pleading eyes of Osamu Dazai begging for forgiveness.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Chapter six - He's gone

wc - 809

cw - sad Akutagawa moment, not proofread

chapter seven

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“Did Dazai actually explain anything?” Akutagawa asked as soon as you got into his car. 

You nodded, “He did”

The three of you sat silently as Akutagawa drove away before he spoke up again, “Care to share?”

“He said he wasn't able to take care of me and was scared of hurting me, I guess. I was eavesdropping on his and Chuuyas' conversation. He didn't say anything to me about it”

Gin laughed from the passenger seat, “As if he didn’t hurt you and everyone else by leaving”

You let out a soft laugh, “exactly”

The rest of the car ride was silent besides Gin humming along to the radio. Akutagawa would glance at you in the mirror every once in a while to make sure you were doing okay but he hadn’t spoken a word since you gave him Dazais’ reasoning. Once you arrived back at their home, he was quick to go to his bedroom. You gave Gin a look of confusion as you both sat on the couch,

“Is he okay?”

“He always gets like that when Dazai is brought up”

You nodded, Akutagawa was the only person who understood the level of pain you felt. Chuuya tried, and he understood for the most part but he also didn’t care as much as the two of you did. Akutagawa looked up to Dazai for everything, even when Dazai didn’t deserve the praise he was given. You remembered years ago, when Akutagawa came to you out of desperation, asking what he could do to receive the slightest praise from your brother.

“I have done everything he asks but it is never good enough” He spoke, clearly trying to hold back tears. You weren't sure if the tears threatening to spill were from anger or sadness but it made you upset regardless, knowing Dazai was capable of hurting someone who tried so hard for him. 

You reassured Akutagawa with a small smile, “I’ll talk to him” 

That night, you sat in your living room waiting for Dazai to come home. It wasn’t until 2am that he walked through the front door, a look of confusion on his face when he saw you still awake. 

“What are you doing up?” He asked, hanging his coat on the hanger beside the door. 

“I needed to talk to you about Akutagawa”

Dazai groaned, throwing his head back, “I’ve dealt with him enough today. Can it wait?”

You rolled your eyes, “You should be nicer to him”

Dazai lifted his head up and looked into your eyes, trying to see if you were joking with him or not, “You’re serious?” 

“Mhm”

“No. He’ll never learn if I'm soft on him. And he definitely shouldn’t be going to my little sister to complain. I’ll talk to him tomorrow”

Your eyes widened, “No, Osamu. He was just upset”

Dazai waved his hand at you as he walked away, “I don’t care about his feelings. I’m training him to be in the Mafia, not to join the Boy Scouts”

You weren't sure what happened after that, Akutagawa didn’t speak to you about Dazai until he had vanished and Dazai never spoke a word about Akutagawa to you. 

What you did know was Dazai never gave Aku the praise he so desperately wanted and now that Dazai was back, all of the memories were flooding Akutagawa's mind again.

“We should probably get rest too, you can sleep in my room with me if you don’t mind. My bed is comfier than the couch” Gin spoke

“You’re right. This couch isn't the best” You laughed, getting up to follow Gin to her room.

You awoke the next morning to hear muffled voices coming from the living room. You quietly got out of bed and made your way down the hall.

“I told the bastard it was a stupid idea, he never fuckin’ listens” You heard one of the voices say.

Definitely Chuuya.

“I don’t think it’s wise to bring her back to your house if he is still there” 

“He went home”

You finally walked out into the living room to see Chuuya and Akutagawa standing beside the couch that Gin was laying on. 

“Ready to come back?” Chuuya asked, eyes locking on yours.

“He’s not there?” You asked, you knew he wasn’t but you needed to be sure before saying yes.

Chuuya huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like I just told Akutagawa, Dazai went home”

You nodded, “I just need to grab my stuff”

Once you had your belongings in hand, you went back to Chuuyas' now Dazai free home.

“Oh and Boss called earlier this morning” Chuuya spoke as you sat at the kitchen table 

“What’d he want?” You asked

Chuuya sighed, his eyes looking apologetically at yours, “Got a meeting tomorrow, me and you gotta go to the ADA building for 8”

taglist

@lacunaanonymoused @decaf-nosebleed @till-we-become-monsters

AO3

masterlist

[colonelpancakes]

I am, at long last, getting around to watching the new season of The Dragon Prince so. Have some of my thoughts on the new episodes. Uh I guess this is kind of a liveblog thing? Idk, I wrote these down while I was watching the episode. Under the cut because this ended up getting quite long. Image IDs are in the alts. I'm new to this be nice to me-

Okay, is it just me or does this startouch elf look kinda like Sarai? I swear she does, she has like the same face shape. I don't know, maybe it's just me and my god awful facial recognition but... 👀

Also, "We are, all of us, stardust held together by love for an instant." is such a beautiful quote. It reminds me of the Minecraft End Poem.

Ooh, I love the twist on the previous Mystery of Aaravos intro. I wonder if this is gonna be the intro for the whole season or if it'll switch to something else after this episode?

Poor Terry he does not deserve to be dealing with all this shit. He's such a sweetheart. A little bit of a fucked up sweetheart but a sweetheart nonetheless.

Oh so Viren’s not dead. Huh. I need to rewatch the S5 finale because I’m gonna be honest, I do Not remember exactly what happened. Viren was going to die if he didn’t kill Sir Sparklepuff? I think? Or maybe that was just what they thought was gonna happen and there was a chance it wouldn’t? I don’t remember. Anyways, congrats Viren on your new will to live.

Claudia. Claudia what did you do Claudia?

Claudia, why is the sand covered in blood?

CLAUDIA!

Oh poor Terry... You can see the moment he spots the severed wing.

Hey, quick question, WHY IS THIS SHOW STILL RATED Y7? This would have fucking traumatized me as a seven year old! I thought there was a limit on how much blood you can show on a Y7 show, HELLO?? OUGH.

“It’s like you said. You do anything for family. However dangerous, however vile.” “No. No that’s… that’s not quite right. It’s never what I meant. You do anything for your children. Never the other way around. No parent wants their child to suffer for them.” Ough… Oh that hurts. Ohhhh. Also, “no that’s not quite right” is the same thing he says to her in the first episode when she says something weird. Callbacks to simpler times ow that hurts.

OH YEAH. JUST RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON'T YOU? Augh.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GIVE CLAUDIA’S VA AN AWARD. NOW. That is hands down actually the most like. Realistic depiction of someone crying in any media I have ever encountered. The way she sounds like a child having a breakdown? She’s not crying quietly, she’s screaming and sobbing oh my god. I literally started tearing up watching as like a sympathetic response good grief. Who is Claudia’s voice actress? I looked it up and apparently it’s Racquel Belmonte. Give her like fifty awards right now

Viren. Viren listen. I appreciate that you are attempting to heal and face justice and become a better person separated from dark magic. I really do appreciate it. Good for you. HOWEVER. Perhaps, just maybe, abandoning your daughter, who has become an amputee less than a day ago, in the wilderness with no one but her boyfriend after she just completed a very traumatizing ritual AND knowing that she has severe abandonment issues after her mother and brother both left her. Is not the best move? Like. That girl is not mentally stable she needs support. She does not need her dad abandoning her on a beach, covered in blood and missing a leg as she screams and cries for him not to leave her. Viren, just caring about your daughter does not automatically make you a good dad. Viren. Viren you have to actually stay and support your child and NOT LEAVE HER IN THE FUCKING WILDERNESS. I do, though appreciate how they are creating a character who does CARE about his children so so much. And is still an absolutely god awful father to both of them.

Awww the baitlings are so cute 🥹

Pondering the Orb 🧙‍♂️

Callum… Callum you good? I am getting a very bad feeling about Callum being so adamant about destroying it. I feel like that is absolutely how Aaravos gets released and maybe he’s controlling Callum? This all feels like a bad idea. Also, I will admit the Lord of The Rings joke made me giggle.

Exactly what I was saying, Rayla! Destroying the pearl sounds like a terrible idea.

Ohhh… Poor Zym… He misses his mama. Also, I can’t remember if this was in previous seasons, but I appreciate the stitching in the painting where it was mended after being ripped apart. Such a good detail.

Hey Callum, why are you glowing with star magic? Is it because Aaravos is possessing y- oh nevermind it’s the monkey.

Mmmm the difference between Rayla and Callum. Rayla will put the safety of the world over her loved ones. Callum will put his loved ones over the safety of the world. Rayla refuses doing something that could potentially endanger the world even if it would mean getting her parents back.

Oh, so it’s not Aaravos influencing Callum it’s just Callum being anxious. Also, give Callum’s voice actor an award he's nailed the tone of "so filled with anxious energy you can't stop you have to do something, it's like you're driven by a motor." and that is a very specific tone.

[More in reblogs because I ran out of room.]

[mrs-snape5984]

“Dancing with tears in my eyes, weeping for the memory of a life gone by…”

“It's time and we're in each other's arms. It's time, but I don't think we really care…” (“Dancing with tears in my eyes” by Ultravox)

After reading my following lines, I decided to put a trigger warning on this post. I used this platform to vent out my frustration and despair. Those of you wonderful readers, who get triggered by mentions of hopelessness and subtle hints of suicidal thoughts, should better skip the next seven paragraphs. Thank you for your understanding!

Lying in the darkness of my room…forced by this cruel disease ME/CFS to live a restrained life in a body and mind, which makes me feel as if I’m an animal, trapped in captivity…I often show tendencies to dream myself away…drowning in my fantasies of Severus Snape.

With him by my side, I can do the things, which my diseased body and my disoriented mind are refusing to allow me experiencing them anymore. Things, which I’m desperately yearning for, since this sickness has clawed me into her tight grip about 1,5 years ago.

I want to leave my darkness so badly that it hurts. The longing for a self-destined life in freedom becomes unbearable for me to endure. My only piece of liberty left is my habit of sitting on the balcony outside of my bedroom at nighttime, enjoying the silence of the world and a fresh breeze on my face without getting overstimulated by noises, motions and lights.

In times, when even this tiniest bit of peace isn’t possible for me to enjoy anymore…when another crash is suppressing me even further…forcing me to stay in bed for days or weeks, my soul seems to absorb the darkness around me. I’m getting tired of this life…tired of myself…tired of being doomed to uselessness.

I mean, what’s left of my former self? My professional career as a pedagogue, working as a social worker for the government office for youth welfare seems to be a fading memory in my mind. Now I have to ask my mother for help with each bureaucratic application form, because my retarded brain refuses to understand these things anymore. For someone, who has always been proud of their intellect and education, this is a real low blow. Also, I’m a person, who’s really bad at asking for help. The thought of being dependent on others has always been one of my biggest nightmares…and now I can’t even do the smallest tasks on my own!

My three amazing children were used to have an active, funny mother, who guided them through this confusing world….who showed them the beauty of life in its fullest. And now, they’re witnessing their mother lying in her bed surrounded by darkness day in, day out! Sure, I’m still trying to be there for them in my minimalistic possibilities…but it isn’t the same as they’ve always known it to be. You can’t imagine, how guilty I’m feeling for being so useless…for not being the mother, my kids would deserve to have!

In order to escape these thoughts of hopelessness and to forbid myself to drown in despair, searching for ideas of exiting this world, I rather keep clinging on Severus…like I’ve done it over the past 21 years.

I’ve commissioned my friend @opalchalice to make my fantasy of Severus and my (self-inserted as fuck) OC Julia, dancing in the rain…letting their sorrows be washed off from the pouring raindrops…come to life through her beautiful art. I asked her to draw this moment of peace for Sevy and Jules…a moment of joy before the world around them would fall apart.

Lia, you did an incredible job with this artwork! There’s nothing, that I don’t love about it. Please, take my apologies for writing such a pathetically whiny post beneath your lovely drawing. I know, it should have deserved better. But rest assured, my friend, your art always gifts me some light and comfort for my troubled heart and soul and I enjoy every conversation with you! Thank you for everything!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[hookedsworks]

Edge(ING) Fitness - Chapter X

oooo first writing post on the new bloggggggg who's excited!!!!!!!!

II check's Vessel's ankle.

wc: 809

ao3

tumblr masterpost

“No, II, I swear I’m fine. You really didn’t have to come back here and check me out,” was the first thing Vessel said to II when he got back into the locker room. The poor guy was pink, leaning against the lockers and was clearly in pain. His lips kept pulling down before he snapped them back up. II sat next to Vessel. 

“Vessel,” II smiled, and waited until Vessel looked up at him. “It’s not a bother. You got hurt at my gym. I have the training to make sure you will be okay. And I’d rather know you’re walking out of here cared for and properly stabilized than walking out of here potentially hurt. I won’t make sure you’re not seriously injured without your permission. But, if you’ll let me, I’d really like to make sure you’re okay,” 

“Um, ah, well, okay,” Vessel broke eye contact. “It’s uh, my left one,” II slid off the bench and onto the floor. He untied Vessel’s shoe and took it off. “Oh, um, uh,” 

“What’s wrong? Does that hurt?” 

“N-no. Just. Worried,” 

“Well, don’t worry too much. I did this for seven or eight years. I just quit about eight months ago,” 

“Oh, no. I don’t doubt your ability. I just.. Uh,” II looked up, locking eyes with Vessel. Vessel trailed off, and his lips parted a little bit. II smiled. Vessel was just so pretty, he really couldn’t help it. After he stared at Vessel for what was likely an uncomfortable amount of time, he shook it off and blinked. 

“Alright, love. I’m going to check your range of motion. Just tell me when it hurts,” II slowly started rolling Vessel’s ankle. About three quarters of the way through II’s manipulation, Vessel hissed. “There?” 

“Y-yeah, there,” Vessel confirmed. 

“How bad is it?” II turned his face back to Vessel’s, mostly to watch for signs of pain. Not because he was cute and sweet and definitely not because that hiss had II’s head spiraling down a path it should not have ever gone down. It was to watch for signs of pain. 

“It.. it’s not bad. I can probably walk on it,” but the edges of Vessel’s eyes were crinkled in a way that was making II think he was trying to play it off as less painful than it was. 

“It’s probably a mild sprain. If you’ll let me, I’ll wrap it,” 

“Uhm,” 

“I don’t have to if you really don’t want me to. But I’d be more comfortable letting you leave if you’d let me wrap it,” Vessel’s teeth were digging into his bottom lip. Oh, what I’d give to be digging my teeth into that lip. II physically jolted when the thought drifted across his mind. Vessel glanced up, making eye contact again. 

“Okay, you can wrap it,” Vessel’s voice had dropped half an octave. 

“Are you in pain, love?” II reached down in his bag to get ibuprofen. When he sat back up, his eyes dragged up Vessel’s body. II realized that Vessel was… excited. There was a very clear imprint showing through his shorts. Vessel was getting hard over something. And that was when II realized what Vessel was seeing. II was kneeling between his legs and continually making eye contact. Vessel audibly swallowed. 

“Y-yeah,” II consciously stopped his eyebrow from raising. He gave Vessel another smile. He assumed that Vessel was getting excited because there was someone between his legs, so he decided to distract Vessel. He didn’t want to embarrass Vessel and have him stop coming to II’s gym. 

“So, uh, how do you take your coffee?” He handed Vessel the bottle of pills and turned to start wrapping his ankle. 

“Black. Sugars. Like. Seven of them,” II laughed. “What?” 

“That’s… an abomination,” he teased. Vessel turned pink again. 

“How! Are you one of those obnoxious coffee snobs who only drinks beans picked on the third of March in the foothills of the Himalayas or something equally ridiculous?” Vessel fired back. It was the longest sentence he had ever said to II, and it made II laugh hard. 

“Oh, yes, absolutely. No, actually, I’ll take anything, so long as it’s iced and comes in a can and is Red Bull,” Vessel was staring at II again. II smiled. “Okay, you’re all set,” II grabbed above Vessel’s knee to haul himself off the floor. Vessel stood at nearly the same time. II could feel his hard, muscular body run up the length of II’s body and suddenly II was battling his own body to not react. Vessel was tall. And pressed right up against II. And II was craning his neck back to look at Vessel. They each tried to move in different directions. Vessel’s lips brushed against II’s cheek. A smile, clearer than any summer sky, burst across Vessel’s face. 

“Thanks, II,”

[damagedintellect]

Kenny McCormick x reader

💌 As Long As I can Remember: Chapter 10  💌  

Summary:  You moved to south park in the 4th grade. You weren't expecting what came next. After seven years of friendship you were about to make a move but what happens when Cartman's OTP gets in the way of what you desire most.

Notes:  Overall Kenny x reader but also some Craig x reader, I wrote this over a decade ago but I'm feeling nostolgic, this was written for a friend a long time ago

💌 Word count: 1,108 💌  <= Previous | Chapter 11 coming soon

In the nurses office the nurse was out for lunch so it just you and Craig. He pointed to the patient's bed cushion thing and you sat down and cross your arms, you felt like a little kid. You swear you could take care of yourself. Craig walked up to the one of the cabinets and pulled out an ice pack and set it on the counter while he rummaged through the drawers for something. He pulled a key and unlocked the mini fridge and filled up the ice pack.

“Did you plan on Clyde slamming my face in; you seem to know where everything is.”

He put the ice pack on your head “I think a thank you would have been nice”  He flipped you off then he put key back and one of the drawers “Tweek gets hurt a lot and for some reason the nurse is never here when I bring someone so I just help myself.”

You lie down and move the ice pack from the top of your head to your forehead. Craig leans back on the counter “Anyways are you okay? Yesterday you were so in tune with your surrounding it’s not like you to get caught off guard”

You rest your hands behind your head and cross your legs “It's nothing.” You trailed off you know better than to say anything you’ll regret later so you don’t say anything. You swear that Craig speaks with his eyes more than words. Actually this is like the most you think you have ever heard him say. When you guys entered middle school he sat next to you in most if not all of your classes, not by choice that's just how seating charts go. Although you never really hung out with him, you feel like he kind of knows more about you than he should. He was always watching and he's not an idiot. You wonder if he could read minds by looking into peoples eyes. As if he was he starts a conversation.

“I know it's not. You can cut the crap” instead of ‘cutting the crap’ you trying to play it off by quirking an eyebrow but this only causes him to continue “Look I can tell something is bothering you. At this point I think anyone could. Because usually no matter what happens to you, not only do you handle it well but you make it work in your favor.” You tense up a little. He wasn't wrong, ever since you moved here you kind of just hit everything straight on. Avoiding eye contact you looked up at the ceiling. Once more he continued. “I've seen you go up against Cartman numerous times and survive so you can stop the fuck'n act already!” 

He glares at you expecting an answer but when you don't say anything he starts walking to the door clearly irritated by you not responding. You stood up and clenched your fists. "You don't think I would if I could-" you cut yourself off. Why are you opening up to Craig? You only ever tell Kenny how you're feeling or Kyle and don't tell them everything. God dammit your eyes were tearing up but that didn't stop you from staring him in the eyes. "This is all Kenny's fault, if he didn't get a girlfriend I wouldn't be totally out of it." You say in your head.

Craig brought you into his embrace. "Clyde told me about Mccormick, I know you're not okay." He held you tighter.

You just wanted to melt in the hug and pretend that it's Kenny and that everything fixed itself but it's not this was Craig. You look up at him and softly push him away. "Opening up isn't my thing. You of all people should know that." You readjust the ice pack because it's falling off your head as you sit back down on the bed.

Craig puts his hands in his pockets sitting down next to you. "I do"

You tilt your head up in annoyance. “If you do, then why did I have to say it.” You looked at him for an answer but Craig just shrugs in response. You huffed. “Sometimes I just don't understand you.” You say laughing a little bit at the absurdity of the situation.

“You would try to understand me after school at my place” 

You meet his gaze. Was he serious right now? He’s inviting you to his house? What day was it, oh yeah Monday. Monday you and Kenny used to go to the comic store and play Magic the Gathering, it doesn't look like that's going to happen now.

“Sure it’s not like I have anything else better to do.”  

Craig deadpanned and looked over your face for any signs of sarcasm. “Really but isn't Mcc-“ You cut him off and tense up at the name “Just because we’re best friends doesn't mean we're not allowed to hang out with other people. Clearly whether he and I hang out today like always doesn't matter.” The bell rang and you and Craig walk out of the nurse’s office together and walk to class in comfortable silence unaware of the slightly jealous blond staring at you.

The next class went by rather quickly because you were more curious as to what will happen after school. On the bus ride home you sat by Craig which garnered some interesting looks from Cartman and Kyle. Clyde walked up to them and wiggled his eyebrows “Hey Craig are you still on for later-“

“(Y/N) and I are going to hang out at my place later.”

Clyde’s eyes widened. “Oh well then I'll leave you two alone then.” Clyde walked off to sit by Tweek. He was having mixed feelings for his best friend. Over the seven years whenever your name was brought into the picture Craig always forgot about Clyde. Not saying that Clyde was jealous but, Clyde was jealous. Clyde was kind of a crybaby when it came to his best friend’s attention, and yes he does need Craig's attention. Plus he was supposed to do a Red racer marathon tonight, but he guessed that's out the window. He was happy that Craig finally talked to you though, but that means his best friend will be too busy for him now.

You and Craig got off in front of Craig’s house, which caused Kenny to raise an eyebrow. Why would you go hanging with Craig, it was Monday. They always go to the comic store and play Magic after school on Mondays. Kenny’s eyes were glued to the window as the bus drove off. 

[forthesanityofstorytellers]

Becks Backstory - Mattie

What started out as an attempt for me to keep things straight in my head turned into a series of short stories centered around Becks and her backstory, which quickly became her backstories given how many years she's lived and how many names and personalities she's adopted. Some are complete, some aren't, I'll update as I go, yadda yadda.

Anyway. This is Mattie. She's the eighth name/personality Becks created. She's somewhere between the others. Very down to earth and serious, not looking for trouble, very much wants to be left alone with her adopted kiddo.

WC: 702

-----------------

–1900s, Secluded farm somewhere around the Smokey Mountains–

“We’re taking the child,” the man stated, hand around Lily’s arm. “And that gun isn’t going to change the issue.”

Mattie had a rifle trained at his head, stood steady and still on the rickety old porch. “Say that again when you aren’t sweating,” she snapped.

“You have no idea what you’re dealing with,” he said calmly. “This creature–”

“My kid!!”

“--is not even human. Not all the way, at any rate. She’s clearly messed with your head, made you think she’s your daughter, but believe me. That’s what these things do.”

“Call her a thing one more time,” Mattie said calmly, “and it’ll be the last words you speak.”

“Ma’m, I can assure you. Your life will be better without her in it. These things–”

A shot rang out. The body jerked, dropped to the floor.

“Lil!” Lily bolted for Mattie, swung around and hid behind her. She hunkered down, hands grabbing onto Mattie’s pantleg and looked up at her.

Mattie kept her eyes on the horizon. Guys like him usually traveled in pairs…there. Her rifle snapped up as she lined up the shot. Managed to tag someone, by the sound they made, but there was a flash of magic and they were gone. Portal, no doubt. Well. They were going to have to run again.

Mattie spun around, kneeled and took Lily’s face in her hands. Turned it. Checked her arms and legs. “Not hurt,” she muttered. The sleeve was a little torn from where the man had grabbed her, where Lily had struggled to get away from him, but otherwise there wasn’t anything. “Good.”

“I didn’t do anything this time,” Lily said, pouting. “Not like last time.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mattie said, standing and walking over to the man. Dead, one shot to the head. She kneeled, began to go through his pants pockets. Found the usual blending-in kit. His coat, on the other hand, had a small notebook with scribbles inside detailing the journey he’d taken to get here. The tracking he’d done to find Lily.

Mattie stowed that away, noting a small metal bracelet full of charms. Runes and symbols hung from a metal chain, each one packing a wallop of magic. Likely pre-made spells, in case things got hairy. Mattie slipped it off and held it up. Three of the seven were still charged. Good enough. She slipped it into her pocket, stood and turned.

Lily still sat in a small ball on the old porch, hugging her knees. She only looked to be about ten. Had looked that way for the past few years, despite the fact that Mattie had found her almost twenty years ago.

Nevertheless, she looked small and sad at the moment. Vulnerable. Not at all like the feral child she usually was. Sure, she had calmed a little as she grew, but the fire in her eyes wasn’t an easy thing to put out. The recent search must have been finally taking it’s toll on her.

Mattie took a breath and walked up to her. Sat down next to her.

“Thoughts?”

Lily shook her head.

“Lily.”

She sighed. “What if…what if we never find out?” she asked, voice muffled from her mouth pressed into her knees. “What if we never know were I came from?”

Mattie sighed and leaned back on her hands. “Then we don’t. And you’ll be no worse for the wear, really.”

Lily snorted, putting her chin on her knees now. “But what if I’m some sort of creature, like they say?”

Mattie sat up. “Lily, look at me.” She did, sullenly and like the child she appeared to be. “I don’t care what they say. I’ve looked after you for long enough to consider you to be my own. I don’t care if you’re really like me or if you’re some accident someone let loose. You’re mine, and I’m going to protect you.” She reached out with her hand, Lily reaching out as well. They laced their fingers together.

“You’re safe,” Mattie said. “I’ve got you, scamp.”

Lily smiled. “Thanks…mom.” Pulled on her hand and pounced on her in a hug, Mattie squirming at the embrace while Lily laughed.

[specialagentlokitty]

Saul silva x reader - this empty space

Part seven:

You stepped forward, pulling your sword out as mist surrounded the blade and you held it to the queens wrist, and he guards dropped Saul, drawing their own weapons on you.

“I suggest you think carefully about your next move Luna, otherwise you can learn to live with one hand…” you whispered.

“You appear to have crossed the barrier.” She smirked.

You stepped fully into Solaria, and walked around, standing in front of Saul, you back to him as you held your sword at the queens throat, your other hand focused on her guards.

“If you want me, you come after me. You do not hurt someone else.” You snarled.

“Give yourself up.” Luna said lowly.

You flicked your wrist, shadows surrounding you both and she stumbled back a few steps in pure fear.

“I am leaner than my demons Luna, a lot meaner.” You whispered.

You stalked forward, and she went backwards until he back hit the edge of the barrier you had created.

She held her hand up, and you smirked at her.

“Your magic won’t work in here… shadow always, always, cancels out light. No matter how strong you may be I will always be stronger.”

“You’re a monster…” she whispered.

You placed the tip of your sword on her chest.

“Are you scared Luna?”

“No…”

“You should be…”

You vanished from her sight and she looked around, trying to find you but she couldn’t, and no matter how much she tried to summon her magic it wouldn’t work.

“Your realm will fall Luna, regardless of it is by my hand, the hands of the old kings, or someone else. Solaria will one day fall.”

“Solaria is strong! We will never fall!”

You appeared in front of her, your hands resting on the hilt of your sword as you rested it’s point on the floor.

Your red eyes bore into hers.

“All must rise and fall, you know that. You know that one day it will come to pass that Solaria, like Umbra fall. It is simply your choice of if it will be in your lifetime or not.”

“What do you know?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I know that they’re coming for you, straight for you. You know that, and you know they will destroy anything in their way. They will not stop at Solaria.”

“The children said they would.”

You shook your head.

“They are consumed by rage, hatred, they will go from realm to realm, taking over the lands until evening the other world and the first world will be no more. This goes beyond both you and me Luna.”

“What can we do to stop them, they have ancient magic.” She scoffed.

You nodded your head.

“So do I, ancient magic has been passed down my family. I couldn’t care less if Solaira falls, no, but I do care that they will destroy both worlds and everything inside of it.”

You sheathed your sword.

“You do not want people to know you have asked for help, that you are scared. Fine, that’s your choice. But you have a duty of care over your people.”

“And you know how to kill them?”

“I am the only one who can kill them, unless you have another shadow fairy hidden away with as much power as me.”

Luna sighed, pacing back and forth and you just watched her.

“Can they hear this conversation?” She asked.

“No. You can bend light, changing surroundings and senses. I take them, I remove them.”

She nodded her head.

“Why are you doing this?” She asked.

“My father worked closely with you on this, i know he did. You’ve been searching for a way to stop it from happening.”

“We thought it was going to happen years ago.”

“It was supposed to start years ago, I have been putting it off.”

“Impossible, no one body can handle that much magic.”

You pulled your glove off, holding out hand up so show the black veins.

“I know.”

She stopped and looked at you.

“You’re dying?”

You nodded and pulled your glove back on.

“I’ve been drawing in magic for years, my body will accept it, but it won’t hold it for much longer. I don’t have long, so you need to make your choice. Because when I die that is it, you lose.”

“Why would I agree to this?” She asked.

“Either way you will get what you want, your realm with be safe, and either way, I will most likely die. Either in the battle, or due to what I’ve been doing. So you win in either situation.”

“And you’re sure you can stop this.”

“Yes.”

Luna looked at you and she nodded her head.

“Fine, I’ll remove the guards from the tombs. But I have no clue where the final one is.”

“It’s mountains next to the school, on the night the comet reaches its peak you need to evacuate the school, do it a few days before even.”

“Fine. But I will not be speaking word of this agreement.”

“Fine.”

You removed the barrier and stepped back through to your home, and turned around to look at them.

“Return my students to me.” Farah said.

You nodded, gesturing for the girls to leave, and as much as they didn’t want to, they knew you didn’t have much choice in the matter.

They set the armour they were wearing on the ground and left.

“Do not think for one second this changes anything.” Luna whispered.

“I don’t expect it to, now take your army and go.”

She dismissed her army, Farah walked away with the students and the last two people were Luna and Saul who was pushing himself up from the ground.

He looked between you and Luna.

“Remember where your loyalty lies.” Luna warned.

Saul looked at her.

“I know where my loyalty lies, it’s where it should have been back then, and it’s where it is now.” He whispered.

“It you walk through that barrier you were be exiled with them.”

Saul nodded his head and walked through the barrier.

“Then I’m exiled, but I will not serve a queen who was willing to kill me because she is angry at someone else.”

“Then so be it, but I suggest you make the most of living alone, you’ll be living on the run for the rest of your life. When your friend dies, I’ll take this land too.”

She spun around and left and you turned to Saul.

“What are you playing at?” You asked.

Saul looked at you, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“I’m doing what I should’ve done years ago. My loyalty should’ve lied with you like I promised. I should have chosen you over my orders.” He sighed.

“And you think that it makes everything better, now you’ve chosen to stand on my side?” You asked.

“No. No, of course not. But I thought it would be a step in the right direction. You need help doing this, and I’ll help you.”

“I can do this alone.”

You grabbed the discarded armour and walked away and he ran to catch up to you, following you up the stairs as you hung the armour back up.

“But you don’t have to (Y/N), I know you’re so used to doing everything alone, and that is my fault and mine alone. I know that. But you don’t have do this alone anymore.”

You spun around to face him.

“What the hell do you expect to do Saul?! You have no magic!”

“I can fight by your side!”

He sighed, running his hand down his face as he reached out, and when you moved back he dropped his arm back to his side.

“I can help you fight (Y/N), please. Don’t do this alone.”

You scoffed, looking at the time on your phone.

“I don’t have time for this. You want to help fine, change out of the crap and wait here.”

You went to walk away but he stopped you, digging through his pockets he pulled something out and pressed it into your palm.

You didn’t bother looking at it as you pulled away, walking into your room to look at the map on your desk.

Setting the object down, you looked at where you needed to go, and grabbed the dagger you placed above the map.

You put it into the empty space on your jacket and folded the map closed, setting it down, and your eyes drifted to the object.

Scowling, you walked away and out of the castle to the barrier where Saul watched from the window as you vanished from sight and he sighed.

He pulled his Alfea armour and uniform off, and set it down on a table, changing into the shirt and armour that was on one of the stands.

He needed to prove to you that you could trust him, because he wasn’t going anywhere soon but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Luna had said to him.

When you die.

He didn’t understand what she meant, you had years ahead of you, but those words stuck with him.

There was something else going on with you, and he needed to find out what it was

[onceinawild]

-

An open letter to myself and to my ex It's been 7 years since we broke up. I’m still struggling because of you. I don’t hate you anymore, though. We're actually friends now. We talk casually, and we just saw each other recently. But life has been so hard for me since you left. I’m constantly struggling to trust people and be in another relationship because I hated how I felt when you left me. I just want to be honest here since I’m the only one who’s going to read this, but I still wish we worked things out. I really do. And I hate admitting that, because you were a terrible person to me. And I hate that I still want you. I still think about you, and I’m still sad after 7 years. I hate it even more that you moved on so many years ago, and I know that you never feel any closer to what I feel. I hate that you probably never think about us anymore, and I’m still here writing this letter to you. I want to be free from all the pain you have caused me. I want to feel loved again. I want to let people love me. I want to be able to trust that someone else can love me as much as you did—and even more. I don’t want to keep myself from the love that I should be getting just because I’m scared it won't work out. I hate talking about you, and I hate when people ask me about you. Every day, I feel sad for myself because I wanted to be loved, but I just can't bring myself to let people into my life. You’re not even the same person I loved. You’ve changed a lot, and that’s okay. But part of me still misses you and wishes that you were still there. If I could go back seven years from now, I would still love you even though I would be so hurt. I loved you too much.

I still miss you, and I wish I could go back to the past and hug you. I love you so much still, and if I could see you again, I wish you didn’t change and that you still loved me. But that’s not possible. I could only wish for that, but that’s truly how I feel. I hate admitting that I still love you, because I don’t. I don’t love or like the person you have become today, but I still love the person you were. I’m not writing this letter to your present self; I’m writing this letter to the person I loved and still do, which was you seven years ago. I really hope I can have a conversation with you, because the person you are right now, I can't stand talking to. 

I really hope that I will be able to accept that you no longer exist and that I should move on with my life and live in the present. For now, I can only hope for that. I’m still struggling, and I don't want to deny that any more since I know that I really am struggling. I just hate feeling like a loser since you’re already so happy with your life now. So unfair.

Also, I don't really care about you right now. Were friends like I said, but I really feel like I don't know you anymore, and I’m not sad that you’ve changed a lot since that would make it more difficult for me to move on. I’m happy that I don't feel attracted to you anymore. I really hope to find a new lover soon since you've been hunting me for so long already; I'm already so tired.

Hopefully, this will be my last letter to you because I have written too many letters about you. 

Good night.

J 2 

V

[survey--s]

563.

Who was the first person you talked to today?: Mike is the only person I’ve actually spoken to in person, lol.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?: Nope.

Is there something right now that has you worried?: Not worried as such, no.

Ever been on a golf cart? : No.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face?: In retaliation, yeah.

Last person you took a nap with? : It would be Mike but years ago lol. I never really take naps. Are you embarrassed by anything you have in your bedroom?: No, but I wouldn’t really want anyone seeing the absolute STATE of Mike’s side of the room lol.

Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well?: I’m sure it would, but I’ve never actually seen her cry.

What is one stereotype associated with your race that is actually true?: White privilege, I guess. What color shirt are you wearing?: Black and white. The last person you kissed needs you at 3 AM, would you help them?: Sure, I mean, he’d likely be right next me in bed at that time anyway, lol. Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?: Yeah, several people have told me that over the years.

Do you care if people hate you for no reason?: I mean, it would probably bother me just because it’s so unnecessary.

Have you ever given up on someone, but then went back to them later?: Sure.

Do you have a lot on your mind at the moment?: Just trying to fill these few spots at work this week. Trouble has hurt her paw so she can’t come out but now I have loads of random spots lol.

Do you do something illegal on a regular basis?: Speed, I guess. I mean, I don’t go way over the limit but definitely by a few mph.

Did you and your mom ever have a big fight that caused you to move out?: No.

What grade is the last person you texted in?: I mean, she’s in her thirties.

Do you think someone likes the same person you like?: I have absolutely no idea.

Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you like?: No.

Do you think it’s cute when someone kisses your forehead?: It’s cute when Mike does it, sure. I wouldn’t appreciate a random stranger doing it though, lol.

Who was the last person you had a serious talk with?: Helen.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship?: Not that I’m aware of.

Is the person you last texted single?: No.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?: An equal mixture of all of them, really.

Ever liked someone whose name started with a B?: Yeah, I liked a Ben at one point.

The person that you miss right now, what does their first name start with?: I don’t really miss anyone at the moment.

Do you think true love ever really dies?: No.

Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you?: Yes.

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?: I think there are circumstances where it’s understandable, yes. Like, suddenly finding yourself caring for a partner with dementia, or in a coma, or all sorts of other horrible things.

Have you ever been punched in the face?: Yes.

Do you have make-up on?: No.

Are you the type of person who seeks out revenge?: Nope.

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?: Sure, but I didn’t really consider it to be a waste at the time.

Has anyone ever given you roses?: Yes. Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn’t want to be with?: Yeah...awkward.

Have you ever kissed the last person you sent a text message to?: Nope.

Ever get hurt by someone who promised they wouldn’t?: Sure, that’s life.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?: Yeah, I can be, depending on the circumstances.

Is there someone you would enjoy hitting right now?: No.

Who is the last person to call you gorgeous?: I honestly don’t remember.

Are you a fan of Hello Kitty?: No.

When was the last time you cried?: Probably when Layla died, which was about six/seven weeks ago.

What does your current Facebook status mean?: It’s just a photo of Simba.

Could you go a month without cursing?: No.

Do you think a lot before you fall asleep?: Some nights I do, other nights I’m asleep in seconds.

Do you care deeply about others?: Not really on a general level, no, because most people don’t care about me. Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or smoking weed?: Having sex, I guess.

Do you like it when people call you babe?: No.

Have you ever kissed someone who was over 21?: Well, yeah.

How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?: 40.

Do you owe anybody money?: Just the credit card company lol.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette/lighter?: Yeah, nothing major though.

Would you pay someone to kill the person who hurt you a lot?: Nope.

Have you ever kissed a football player?: I mean, in the sense that the guy had played football at some point, yeah.

Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy?: Of course.

Do you tell people you love them just to get what you want?: I mean, as a little kid, sure. In the sense of “but you know I love you sooooo much mummy”.

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?: Ask what he wants? He’s upstairs right now.

Will you have sex tonight?: No.

Are you bi-sexual?: Yes.

How many times have you gotten into a argument with the last person you kissed?: Only a handful of major arguments, but lots of stupid spats and rows.

Has anyone lied to you today?: Not that I know of.

Have you recently lost someone that means everything to you?: Nope.

Would you forgive a friend for telling your biggest secret?: I mean, a friend wouldn’t do that in the first place.

Would you ever get a tattoo with someone’s name on it?: In memory of someone/an animal who had died, maybe.

Would you ever get your nipples pierced?: No thanks.

Have you ever thrown a shoe at someone?: Yeah, but just messing around.

Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever?: No.

[jubicocoa]

Outlasting the Taboo

Warning: NSFW *18+*, Contains some adult themes, especially in the second part. (Read at your own risk, it’s my usual shipping stuff)

Chapter 2 of 2: Limitless

“Don’t you feel at least a little bit sad about it?” Her short, purple haired friend was always so sweet to her. At least someone cared about her emotional well-being these days.

“Mirha~ I’m fine… You don’t need to worry,” Leez cracked a counterfeit smile.

“But you two were together for so long. You love each other so much. I don’t get-”

“Mirha. Please.” Leez had cut her dear friend off.

“I know you mean well, but I am trying to move on as best as I can. Yuta and I loved each other. I mean, we still do, but…”

“Okay. Okay~ I get it. Just because you love each other, doesn’t mean you’re meant to be forever. And that’s okay…”

Leez fell silent as they continued walking down the sidewalk. The breakup was hard on both of them, but it was a mutual decision. It hurt. It hurt so bad. They’d become each other’s life jacket in the floods of life. She wasn’t okay. It was reminiscent of——

“—ez.”

“—-eez!”

“Leez! Are you okay? You’re crying…” Mirha gently patted Leez’s shoulder.

“A-ah… oh my goodness. I-I’m crying? I didn’t even realize it haha….” Leez quickly pulled a napkin out of her bag. Mirha had tried talking to Leez about it before, but she never wanted to talk. She always hid her troubles and kept her feelings bottled up. Surely when shaken, she was bound to explode. Mirha would rather avoid seeing her friend reach that point.

“Hey Leez! There’s this cafe up ahead with the best curry soup! Let’s go!” Mirha pulled her friend along, never giving Leez time to adjust.

———-

“Tada! We’re here! ‘Mr.Shin’s Book and Cafe’!” Mirha cheered in excitement.

“This place is my best kept secret! I’m new to this city, but this place sure is the coziest, feels like home!”

Mirha pulled Leez in with her, but Leez subconsciously showed some resistance. “What’s the matter? You don’t want to eat here? You’ll love it.”

“Ah-uh. S-sorry. Let’s go in.” Leez knew this cafe. She knew it very well. She helped to make it what it was 7 years ago. It had been 7 years. Life had changed so much since then. She wasn’t a child anymore. Mr. Shin was here then. “Mr. Shin…” Leez mumbled under her breath.

“Hm? Did you say something?” Mirha questioned. Leez shook her head quickly, smiling nervously. They took their seat in a cozy nook of the cafe. Leez looked around the shop, taking it all in. This bookshop held so many memories for her. The time she experienced her first kiss on this couch. She had secretly kissed Mr. Shin. Where was he? She missed him so much. Seven years wasn’t enough to erase him from her mind. She still remembered his touch, his smell, and his warmth. Did he think he was doing her any favors by leaving? Certainly not.

“ Leez? Leez, you’ve been spacing out a lot today. What’s got your mind right now?”

“Ah- it’s nothing. I’m telling you.” Leez took a spoonful of her curry soup that had just arrived a few seconds ago.

“Sure...well. I’m always here for you if you want to let me in.” Mirha shrugged, taking a sip of her soup.

Leez continued to enjoy her curry soup which seemed to dull the pain of her recent breakup. Food had that effect on her, so Mir’s suggestion hit the mark. Her friend knew her that much.

“Miss Leez? Is that you?” Leez slowed her eating to see who called out to her.

It was Mr. Sies. “Mr. Sies! Hello, long time no see.” She managed to forge a smile. After all, she did associate him with—-

“Mr. Shin. You know he’s back in town. He took over his shop again. I shouldn’t be telling anyone this, but I thought you’d want to know. The guy comes and goes as he pleases. Oh! Don’t tell him I gave this to you…”

The golden eyed man scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to Leez. “Shhh don’t tell him I gave you his number. Okay… off to finish my work. Take care Leez!”

He had completely caught Leez off guard. Mr. Shin was back? She wondered if she should call. “No I can’t call,” she muttered to herself.

—————

“Bye bye Mir! See you tomorrow!” The girls waved goodbye and started on their way. Leez stood outside of the shop for a bit before walking off.

“I thought I saw Mr. Shin. I must be out of my mind tonight.” She thought it’d be best to go. She checked her phone as she walked down the street. Not paying attention to her surroundings, she’d bump into someone. Leez raised her head to see a man towering over her.

“Mister...Shin?” Her eyes widened and so did his. Without much thought to her actions, she had slipped her arms around his torso and gave him a tight hug, burying her face into his chest. It would’ve seemed like dream, but feeling his body made it a reality. Seeing him always felt like a dream.

“Wh-where were you? Why did you leave?” Leez had started to cry. She didn’t care if it’d been 7 years. She did not think her actions were strange at all.

“...Leez.” He felt a pang in his chest as the girl cried on him. “I’m sorry. I…” He was at a loss. He cupped Leez’s face into his large hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. Let’s go inside. He took her by the hand and led the two of them into the bookshop.

They had gone into Mr. Shin’s study to catch up. “Mister. It’s been so long. It feels like old times...the two of us...here in the bookshop.” Leez smiled warmly, giggling a little.

“I’m sorry I was so clingy back then. I’m sure I annoyed you a lot back then….” Leez continued to talk, but Mr. Shin did not say much.

“Mister? Is there something on my face?” Mr. Shin hadn’t gotten a good look at Leez before, but now he had gotten the opportunity to take in all in. She aged like fine wine. He studied her as she continued to talk. Her glossy lips, the way her golden necklace rested on her chest and shimmered with her subtle movements.

Wait...her golden necklace. It was the one he had given as a gift before he left, it was in the black and gold box. He was surprised to see her wearing it after all of these years. Without thinking, he reached over to touch it catching Leez by surprise.

“Ah! M-mister, what are you—?”

“You still have it. You’re wearing it?”

Leez looked down, she hadn’t even thought of it. “Ah this...w-wearing it has become second nature. I wear it everyday. It’s a really nice necklace…thank you” Leez looked down again in an attempt to hide her flushed face. After all of these years, he still made her nervous. Did he realize how close his hand was to her breasts? Her heart rate was rising, it wasn’t good to be alone with him like this.

Mr. Shin couldn’t help it. She’d grown into such a beautiful woman. He examined everything about her; her smooth tanned skin, her eyes which seemed to have an extra sparkle to them, and the way her teal curls hang about loosely. She overwhelmed him. When he pulled himself out of her world, he realized that he subconsciously leaned into her. He was going to pull back but Leez had cupped his face into her hands.

He could faintly feel her breath against his lips. Her eyes did not meet his, instead they were focused on his lips. Leez pressed her forehead against his, muttering something to herself before locking her lips with his. She could feel hot flashes all over her body. His kiss was consuming, something like the sweltering heat of a high noon summer day. They continued to peck at each other's lips until their hunger was too much to bear. The kisses got deeper and more aggressive. He had been holding Leez in his arms before she slipped out of them and onto the ground.

Before his brain could not register her actions, she had gotten on her knees and started undoing the buttons to his pants. He was already hard, Leez could tell that much. “It-it’s so…” Mr. Shin’s cock was almost intimidating. She gripped it with her soft hands, her touch causing him to clench his teeth.

She wrapped her lips around the tip, swirling her tongue around. Mr. Shin admired the view from above, Leez was pretty at all angles. He ran his fingers through her hair, following her motion. She wrapped one hand around his shaft in a twisting motion before she took all of him inside of her warm mouth. She created a suction, pulling him in.

Leez looked up at him with those big, pretty eyes. Fuck. Did she know what she was doing to him? It was as if he could feel this soul leaving his body. A rapid knock on the door to his study brought him back to his senses. He pushed Leez back, her mouth sliding off of his dick with a pop. The sensation made him wince, causing him to stumble a bit when he stood up.

“Mi-Mister Shin! Are you in there?” A muffled voice from the other side of the door called out to him.

He tucked his erection in and fixed his pants, walking over to his desk before going to answer the door. It was Mr. Sies on the other side. Terrible timing, he wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury Siera right then and there. Mr. Shin yanked a napkin from his desk and handed it to Leez who had pre-cum dripping from her mouth, glistening on her swollen lips. She quickly wiped it off and fluffed her dress before removing herself from the ground to sit on the couch. He kissed her softly before going to answer the door. “I’m not done with you,” he husked in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers over her body. His words made her stomach sink, and if she were standing her legs would’ve given out from anxiety. He terrified her, but in a good way.

Mr. Shin cracked the door open with the most murderous glare Siera Sies had ever seen.

“What.”

“Ah, Mr. Shin there was a customer asking about a series that was pre-ordered. I-I can’t find it.” Siera smiled nervously, a bead of sweat forming at his brow as Mr. Shin continued to glare.

“You disturbed me for this? I don’t know. Don’t bother me for a while now.” Mr. Shin slammed the door.

Siera flinched, “Geez! Seriously, what’s up with him tonight?! I’m gonna quit if he keeps treating me like this.” He pouted and stormed off.

Shin Gu turned around to see Leez looking through a magazine which had been resting on his coffee table. He slowly made his way to Leez, eyes locked on her like prey. The light green, spaghetti strapped dress she wore clung to her body like spandex, showcasing her curves, and large breasts. It was a shame he made a mess and left a few wet spots on it.

He snatched the magazine from her hands and flung it to the other side of room, startling Leez.

“Hey, I was re-.” Mr. Shin silenced Leez with a deep kiss before pulling away, leaving her breathless. Her heart was racing. This is the first time they’d seen each other in 7 years. Leez wondered if she should take things this far with him. ’We’ve already started this’’ she gulped. Where was the boldness of her 17 year old self?

This time Leez would try taking control. Leez pushed Mr. Shin onto the couch and stood up. She could still see his erection bulging through his pants, edging her on. She wanted him, she wanted him to fill her. She sauntered over to the door to make sure it was locked.

“Did you think I’d leave it unlocked?” He huffed with a bit of sass.

“No, but there’s no harm in double checking Mr. Shin.” She retorted with equal sass as she hiked her dress up standing in from of him. She rolled down her black panties, and between her thighs Mr. Shin could briefly see a slick trail that connected. She was ready for him, he unzipped his pants and gripped his cock, stroking it to soothe the aching. He let out a sigh of pleasure before letting go.

Leez mounted him going in for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, bringing her body into his. Her pillow like breasts pressing into his hard chest. He lightly bit her bottom lip, earning a little yelp from her.

He wasn’t finished with her. Seven years ago, he wanted to do so much more, but it wasn’t the right time. Mr. Shin hiked Leez’s dress up, squeezing her ass before slapping it, causing her to whimper. He shoved his hand between her legs only to discover that she’d been wetter than he imagined. He started moving his fingers massaging her clit. Leez, slumped over him shuddering with his every movement.

“A-ah.” She moaned softly in his ear. Her expression of pleasure motivated him to stimulate her clit quicker. He was gentle before, but this time he was a bit rougher.

He would know when he’d done his job when she started to tremble in his hold. Leez’s body started to react. She threw her head back and gasped, before attempting to bite back a moan.

“Ah! Unh! Mr. Shin! I-I’m…” Mr. Shin slid his hand from between her legs, the sensation causing Leez to twitch. He guided her chin down and pulled her into another deep kiss to muffle her loud moans.

He retreated from the kiss to enjoy the lusty expression on her face. He’d never seen her this flushed. A piece of curly teal hair clung to her sweaty cheek. He smirked a little before brushing the piece to the side with his finger. She was so cute, he couldn’t resist kissing her again.

“You should be a little more quiet, Siera might hear us.” He teased, plucking her forehead.

Leez pouted.

Mr. Shin couldn’t hold back any longer. His cock was aching to be buried deep inside of Leez. He walked over and swept everything off of his desk with one arm.

In one swell motion he picked Leez up from the couch and carried her over to his large desk, her legs wrapped around him. He plopped her on the desk, pushing her back to lie down. The dress had to go. He rolled it up and over her head. He also peeled off his black turtleneck, revealing his bare chiseled chest. Mr. Shin lifted up one of her legs, gently planting kisses on her inner thigh. He pulled her bra down and let it sit around her waist as he hungrily kissed her breasts, sucking on her nipples. Leez bites back another moan while Mr. Shin has his way with her body.

“Mr. Shin...p-please. Put it in!” She commanded him needily.

When she begged like that, she ignited something inside of him. “You shouldn’t do that.” He warned before pinning her wrists down and kissing her roughly.

Mr. Shin yanked Leez up and bent her over his desk. One hand gripping the back of her neck while the other hand pinned her wrist behind her back. His breath tickled her ear.

“Tell me how bad you want it.” He teased putting his weight on her. He was so cruel.

“Finish what you started! Are you incompetent?” Leez was a bit fiery in her response. He positioned his cock outside of her slick entrance causing Leez to gasp at the thought of him entering her. “Ah!”

“Tell me. How bad do you want it?” He growled in her ear, making her tremble under his weight.

“P-please Mister! Please fuck me!” Leez cried out.

Mr. Shin gripped her hips and moved his back before shoving his large cock into her at once. Leez cried out as he stretched her. “Anh! Mister Shin. Wait, it’s t-too big. Don’t move” She whimpered weakly. He paused as she wished, watching how her curls clung to her back.

“Y-you can move again.” He started to thrust again, gripping her cheeks and spreading them as he watched his cock disappear inside of her and reappear with every stroke. He pulled out and buried his cock deeper this time. Leez cried out again and her body shuddered at the new depth that he reached inside of her.

“Fuck. You’re so tight.” Mr.Shin grunted. It was like her body was pulling him in.

“So...what was this about me… being incompetent?” Those words of hers really got to him and he started to pound into her even deeper and harder than before. Taking his frustrations out on her.

“Ah! Mmm— Anh!“ Leez gasped for air as more indecent sounds filled Mr. Shin’s study. He continued to thrust into her forcefully. Leez couldn’t take it anymore, his cock was rock hard, she felt like she would faint at any moment. She tried to reach back in an effort to ease his pounding, but she was helpless. He had her bent over the desk as he continued to bury his cock deep inside her.

“Ah! Ahn! Mister Shin! St-stop!” Leez cried out, tears rolled down her face.

“F-fuck! You’re too deep—anh!” He filled every part of her. Her body started to shake under him as she came, feeling her tighten around his cock.

Mr. Shin slowed down, and pulled out of Leez. His cock was covered in her slickness. Leez didn’t move from her position, she was too weak to move. He turned her over and laid her back on the desk gently. The young woman continued to cry softly.

He kissed her gently.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

Leez nodded. He wiped the tears from her smooth face with his thumb.

He lifted her legs up and slotted himself into her again. She was warm inside and he sunk right into her. “Mmm” Leez moaned softly, she was too weak to cry out loudly like she’d done before. He stroked slowly and Leez opened her legs wider to receive him. Their hips rocked together in unison. Mr. Shin slammed his hips into her faster. She felt so good inside. He continued to thrust into her, breathing heavily until he felt himself ready to burst.

“Haah! K-Keep going” Leez pleaded under him. Her body trembled again with every stroke.

“Leez, I’m going to cum.” He grunted, pounding into her one last time before releasing. Leez wrapped her legs around him as he came warmly inside of her. He let out a sigh before collapsing on top of her and nuzzling his face into her neck. Hearts beating rapidly.

A soft knock on the door startled both Mr. Shin and Leez.

The tall man slumped himself over to reach the box of napkins which he knocked onto the ground previously. He pulled a few out, he handed them to Leez before pulling some out for himself. He slipped his black turtleneck on, and fixed himself. Leez managed to gain some strength to hoist herself up, but when she stood up and started to walk, her legs gave out.

“Leez!” Mr.Shin whispered, concerned. He gathered her up in his arms and placed her on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be gentle with you next time.” He kissed her cheek softly, handing her clothes to her. He continued to clean up his study room. The person (who was definitely Siera), would have to wait.

There was another knock on the door, but Mr. Shin continued to tidy the room. Also, giving Leez time to clean herself up.

Mr. Shin jerked the door open. Mild irritation showing on his face.

“I thought I told you not to disrupt me.” Shin Gu crossed his arms, eyes narrowing on Siera.

“I know, but I thought I heard a woman crying.”

“Go home, Siera.” Mr. Shin slammed the door in his face again.

“FINE! I’m not coming back you ungrateful little…” Mr. Sies stormed off.

A few minutes passed.

“I think he’s gone.”Mr.Shin sighed.

Let’s go home.” He reached out to Leez who’d been resting and gaining her composure after the rough sex they just had. Who knew Mr. Shin was such an animal? He was like a wolf ready to eat her. Made even more sense when he called her his bunny.

He had extra sweat pants in his office which he gave her to wear. They were baggy and oversized on her but he couldn’t deny it, he loved to see her wearing his things.

—————————-

Mirha patted Leez’s stomach.

“Looks like you’re putting on some weight. Maybe we should ease up on eating at Mr. Shin’s Book and Cafe.”

“Y-yeah! We should!” Leez laughed nervously. She knew that she’d been doing more at Mr. Shin’s Book and Cafe than just eating.

“It’s been three months since you broke things off with Yuta. Are you binge eating your feeling away?” Mirha was genuinely concerned for her friend, but Leez was more than okay now.

She was happy, with Mister Shin. They enjoyed lots of great food together, had lot’s of fun, and had lots of great sex. Leez hadn’t told her friend about her new relationship yet. She meant to tell her, but she could never find the right time. School was busy enough for the both of them and Leez was really pushing herself in her last semester of college.

“Leez? Are you okay? You don’t look so well.” Mirha patted Leez on the shoulder.

“I’m fine. I’ve just been pushing myself too hard lately and it’s like you said...all of that eating. It’s making me feel a bit sick.” Leez put her hand over her mouth, running to a nearby bush to throw up.

“Oh, Leez. Let’s go to Mr. Shin’s bookshop. You need something warm and light. Like tea.”

——

They arrived to Mr. Shin’s bookshop and were waiting for their orders. Mr. Shin walked over to their table and greeted them, setting the jasmine tea in front of Leez, he planted a quick kiss on her lips before walking off. Leez’s eyes widened and when she glanced over at Mirha, she noticed the shocked look on Mirha’s face as well.

Mirha’s jaws dropped, “Leez….how come you didn’t tell me?!? You? And Mister Shin?”

Sweat beads formed on Leez’s brow and she nodded and sighed.

“Yes. Mister Shin and I are…together.”

Mirha gasped, “Wait! You’re a couple!? Congratulations! No wonder! You’ve found happiness.”

Leez smiled warmly, her eyes following Mr. Shin, “Yeah. I have.” She continued to smile and tell Mirha how they met.

“Ah. I see. So you knew since high school. He’s like your first love, but the age thing is why…”

“Why it took so long.” Leez completed Mirha’s sentence.

“Wait, Leez...have you two...done it?”

“Wait, no!” Mirha backtracked her question. “I’m asking because….have you noticed any changes...lately?”

Leez was confused. “Changes?”

Mirha sighed, and shifted in her seat nervously. “W-well. Your boobs have gotten bigger. You have a tiny little belly going. Haven’t you been tired lately?”

“Oh and…”

“Wait. Wait. Wait. Mirha, what are you getting at?” Leez was a bit frightened now. She didn’t want to be the one to say it.

“I-I’m just saying. You might be...you know. Preg-“

“No! Stop! Don’t say it!” Leez raised her voice shakily. “Gods...I haven’t had my… it’s been a while. A-and I was thinking it was because of stress from being close to graduation!”

“Leez…” Mirha put her hand over Leez’s. “Let’s just see if it’s true. You stay put. I’m going to run to the convenience store across the street.”

Mirha gathered her things. She turned back to Leez before trodding off, “Whatever the outcome. You’re going to be just fine.” She reassured her friend.

A tear rolled down Leez’s cheek. What if it were true? What if she was really pregnant with Mr. Shin’s child? How would he take the news?

Just then she felt a hand rub her back. “Hey, hey...what’s the matter?” Mr. Shin kissed her forehead.

“Ah! It’s just school things. I will be fine.” Leez quickly wiped the tears from her face and took a sip of her tea. It was a lot like life. Bittersweet. In times like this, she missed her parents the most. What she wouldn’t give to hug her mother and father again. To tell them all about her adventures and to tell them about——

“Pregnant! You’re pregnant, Leez!” Mirha was so excited for Leez, hugging her friend almost to the point of choking.

Leez looked on in shock. She had done 3 pregnancy tests to be sure. It was true, she was going to be a mom. And...the child was Mr. Shin’s. The man whom she’d loved since she was a teenager. She was always in his space. His company was more than comforting, and now she was having his child.

“So when are you going to tell him?” Mirha questioned. “You should tell him now, you can’t keep it to yourself. I see the way he looks at you. He’s madly in love with you.”

“Your baby is so lucky! It has you and Mr. Shin for parents! Two hot people!” Mirha giggled, rubbing Leez’s belly.

“I’ve got to get going, but let me know how it goes,” Mirha added before exiting the bookshop’s restroom.

Leez left the restroom and sat at the table until it was time for the bookshop to close. She read and took notes to pass the time.

“Hey, shorty. You’re still here,” Mr. Shin kissed Leez’s forehead. “Waiting for me?” He teased. Leez nudged his stomach with her elbow.

“No silly. Why would I wait for a pervert like you?” Her eyes never leaving the page of the book. He took the book from her hands and sat it aside.

“So what’s going on?” He searched her face for an answer, but she had become just as good as him with her poker face. Leez didn’t say a word, but instead pulled out the three pregnancy tests and placed them

atop the book.

Shin Gu sat in silence before finally breaking it.

“Are you…?”

Leez looked down. She couldn’t look him in the eyes.

Mr. Shin grabbed her chin and tilted her face upwards to look at him. He stared into her pretty emerald eyes, reminiscent on the cold night that she waited outside of the bookshop for him. This was the girl. She was the one who filled his heart. Everything was for her. From the moment she waltzed into his bookshop, flipping her curly teal hair about, all he could see was her.

There was nothing to be embarrassed about, Leez knew this. She was an adult now. Still, it was difficult to meet his eyes after presenting this news to him. Slowly, her eyes met his gaze.

Mr. Shin took Leez’s hands in his. He could feel a slight tremble. What could he do to assure her that everything would be okay?

“Are you scared?” His expression was different this time. Was he worried about her?

Leez cupped his face in her hands, brushing his grey fringe to the side to get a clear view of his maroon eyes.

“I’m not...Why would I be scared when I have you with me?” She pulled him in, guiding his head to rest on her pillow-like chest. He stayed in her embrace, silent.

“Leez…” he said softly.

“Hm?” She ran her fingers through his hair.

He closed his eyes. Was it okay to be loved like this? Her warmth radiated and consumed him. He wanted to feel this way for the rest of his life.

“Will you marry me?”

His request slipped out effortlessly.

Mr. Shin could no longer feel the motion of Leez’s fingers combing through his hair. He lifted his head to read her face, but all she did was stare at him.

He waited for an answer, but she hadn’t said a word. She only pulled him in for a kiss.

“Yes…” Leez replied, simply. “I want to hold onto you and…I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without you mister.” She flashed that same charming smile of hers.

Mr. Shin wondered why Leez still addressed him this way but soon came to realize that it was more of a term of endearment.

“You know I…” Mr. Shin was going to say something, but trailed off.

“You what?” Leez nudged him to speak his mind. She had difficulty getting him to speak his mind. For the three months they’d been together, Leez had often nagged him to open up to her. She soon accepted that this was just the personality of her man. Others didn’t know, but she knew that underneath the reticent man, was someone who was affectionate and thoughtful. He was very mindful of Leez, and she knew it from the way he treated her. Carefully.

“I love you.” He finally said it. For many years, he felt it. Mr. Shin loved Leez very much. She gave him a comfort that he’d longed for, for many years. He was always alone, but now...he had Leez.

“I love you too, mister.”

—————————————————————————————————————

END