#I don’t blame them they were victims too
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i really dislike this take, for a couple of reasons. even though i agreed with the original post (hi Watcher o/), the additions are... well. i have Thoughts. and i was just going to add my two cents, i promise, but then the post kept getting longer and longer... and here we are now! so, buckle up.
first of all, no, non-alterhumans hating on us isnt anyones fault, and especially not the kid's. the community gaining visibility was inevitable, it was bound to happen eventually. blaming some kids for the hate we get isnt going to fix things, believe it or not.
and also, this is important. people were always going to hate us, no matter what. no matter how slow we were, how careful, how gentle, how watered down we made our experiences. that would never have worked, for a very simple reason: people fear what they dont understand. they hate the theriantok kids with the masks and the quadrobics, yes, but lets not forget that they also hated the tumblr fictionkin, the forum-dwelling elvinkind, the past life havers, the exclusively spiritual therians, the clinical zoanthropes. they think we're all the same.
But theriantok brought more harm than good, a lot of therians there bringing light to stereotypes [...]. Yeah, they didn't mean anything by it then, but they just gave away bullet points to haters to mock us. [...] I dunno man, it's like some creatures on the community just asked to be bullied (no hate on anyone, again), just misusing terms and bringing up stereotypes
i wanted to highlight this part because its the one that left the worst taste in my mouth. i know you meant well, Watcher, but you werent right here. what youre doing has a name, and its called respectability politics (with a little bit of victim-blaming thrown in for good measure), the process by which privileged members of marginalized groups comply with dominant social norms to advance their groups condition.
this is queer discourse all over again. "butch lesbians/feminine gay men are just stereotypes! real lesbians/gay men are just like straight women/men!" "nonbinary people must be androgynous and only use they/them pronouns, otherwise theyre just posers!" "neopronoun users are making a mockery of trans people! they make the community look bad!" "you need dysphoria to be trans! getting misgendered is your fault for not making the effort to pass" and so on and so forth...
we dont need to water down our experiences so people can accept us more easily. people just need to be more accepting of experiences they dont understand.
oh, one last thing. this one is for @maxxy-million, because your addition made me a bit mad ngl.
A lot of humans I encounter don’t seem to have the capacity to love. It’s a shame, really. We are all, at our core, held together by love. Whether we are human, wolf, coyote, cat, angel, eldritch being, fish, pony, elf, unicorn… all we really have in this broken world is love. And yet, humans always seem to choose hate when it’s not necessary, they treat any small divergence as if it were a crime. It sickens me to my very core.
first off, we're not all, as you say, "at our core, held together by love". this is called amatonormativity. not everyone (human or otherwise) experiences love, and that doesnt make them bad. and before you say "love doesnt have to be romantic! everyone experiences love in some way", no, sorry, thats amatonormativity again. some of us are aromantic, and while some aro people still experience platonic attraction, not all of us do. some people are aplatonic or afamilial, and some even identify as loveless, and its alright. love doesnt make us human, and its not a requirement to be worthy of respect.
and also, being alterhuman doesnt make us better than humans, what in the misanthropy? alterhumans can be hateful too, its not just a human thing. we all have the capacity to be good or bad; it is our choice to be either.
(by the way, this is not to shame you and i am not mad at either of you. whoever sends hate to Watcher or maxxy-million will be met with my fire, so be warned)
In one of my classes we're talking about respecting minorities, and my teacher listed some. We have lots of types of discrimination: Racial, homophobia and transphobia, against woman, against children, against poor people... Literally whatever you can think of.
It's kind of sad, that with all of the technological advances that we have today, how far we've come in terms of acceptance... People can't respect. It's a matter of literally not being a dick, not insult someone. It's literally just that. You can think whatever you want about anyone, of course, free speech and whatever... But if you know your opinions are going to harm someone, why share them?
For example, I don't like that most parents nowadays just shove a tablet in front of their children and call that parenting. I found that lazy, harmful. But I don't publicly shame those parents, because I don't know their struggles, their point of view on their situation. They may just need a break. Maybe they don't have time to spend time with their children. But at the end of the day is not my business, and is not my place to share MY opinions about THEIR situation. They didn't ask for it, don't need it. And I should learn to shut up about it.
That's kinda what I was able to teach to my roommates about therianthropy, why they accepted me: At the end of the day, it's my identity. I'm not harming anyone, I'm just being myself. They don't have a say in it, I know me better than anyone. It's not their business to shame me, because they are doing it with malicious intent, just to harm me.
I know it sounds difficult, but just ignore them. And most importantly, educate them. I'll say it now, I'll say it again and again: Education is the best tool to end discrimination and violence. Haters are just that, haters. They attack what's different, what they don't understand, because they are just trying to harm and divide us. We need to stick together, and advocate for what's right. That's the way to end it.
Run, howl, bite.
Watcher out
#whispers of the dragon#otherkin#nonhuman#alterhuman#long post#misanthropy#respectability politics#amatonormativity#discourse#not really? but just in case
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me: it’s great that shallan has hoid in her life, he’s like the older brother she never had
shallan’s four actual older brothers: exCUSE me????
me: y’all don’t count
#i joke i joke#there are sweet moments of shallan and her brothers#I don’t blame them they were victims too#but still she didn’t get the support she needed#she took on so much#shallan davar#hoid#wor spoilers
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 #𝟏𝟕(𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬)⋆˚✿˖°
disclaimer: please don’t take this personally, this is just my opinion of placements i find hard to deal with not only astrology wise, but also based on real life observations and experiences i’ve had or witnessed
🍨other post you may enjoy🥠
astrology observations #16 (child of the sun)
astrology observations #15 (hippie edition)
astrology observations #14 (real life experiences)
7h chiron- they seem to that the worse and most toxic relationship i’ve ever seen. and honestly from what i’ve seen, they are usually the victim of the relationship. they do grow a lot as a person from this but the damage is a lot
gemini placements paired with pisces placements- this mainly applies to sun, moon, and mercury, but they can be incredibly manipulative, to the point they believe their own lies. they also have a tendency to lie for no particular reason
1h/7h/5h pluto- they end up attracting people who are insanely obsessive or crazy over them. like to the point it’s unhealthy. people are also oddly possessive of them too, and they can easily be objectified by others
mars opposite or square venus- there’s an imbalance of feminine and masculine energy. although with square there can be a compromising or “agree to disagree energy”, with opposite, this is constant push and pull between the energies which can cause inner turmoil
moon opposite venus- in men this makes someone who’s misogynistic. there’s a lack of understanding for feminine energy and a lot of, blaming women for things. also a lot of toxic masculinity, and not wanting to be vulnerable. in women this can show being uncomfortable with your femininity and not being able to express it
any planet being aspected 5 or more times- this is especially important for moon, mars, and sun in my opinion. this can cause so many different conflicting energies for that planet or planets. there can be a lack of understanding for that planet as well and having a hard time relating to that planet since it’s aspected so much
taurus moon- i actually enjoy taurus energy, but taurus moon can definitely be difficult. they tend to dwell in their emotions for long periods of time and have a hard time getting over things. they can also tend to isolate their self
10h/4h uranus- inconsistent parental figures. possibly ones that came in and out your life without any warning or particular reason. they were unpredictable and you could never tell what their next move was. although they may have been very smart and taught you a lot, they weren’t very physically present, and if they were, they weren’t emotionally present
#astrology#astro community#astro posts#astro observations#astro notes#astro placements#astrology chart#astrology stuff#astrology signs#zodiac shit
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I'm sorry
grid x fem reader
p1 p2 p3 p4
Summary: The race didn't go as planned.
Face: people on Pinterest, Bianca Bustamante and the driver
Warning: Most of the grid has a small weakness for you. It's a series
Masterlist
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Yn.official
Description: It's Friday, then it's Saturday, Sunday what??
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and other 9384934802
f1lover: The kiss??
vroom: Who wouldn't? ❤️ Like to author
Race: Go girl.
user34: What a shame.
user12: Just a way to get attention.
lewishamilton: If Mr. Dad gives me permission, I'll give you a kiss on the cheek.
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Dad???? Plssss.
maxverstappen1: Daniel, say no.
charles_leclerc: Reminder, we have a race today, Daniel.
carlosainz55: Be careful with what you do.
danielricciardo: You have my permission. ❤️ Like to author
Formula: Daniel fears nothing and no one.
one_: I want a dad like Daniel.
Olliebearman: It's been nice knowing you, Daniel.
kimiantonelli: You were a good father. ❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: The best dad in the world.
danielricciardo: You’re exaggerating.
landonorris: Absolutely not.
op81: The McLaren cap?
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Yn.official: Nice, right?
landonorris: It looks even better on you. ❤️ Like to author
user32: I don’t understand how drivers are into this girl who has nothing special.
user4: They’ll realize it soon.
lewishamilton
Description: The kiss
liked by kimiantonelli, Yn.official, and other 49892923898
oscarpiatri: I wish I were Roscoe right now.
kimiantonelli: Me too.
landonorris: She looks beautiful even with sunglasses.
georgerussell63: She looks good in everything. ❤️ Like to author
Love_: How are they so relaxed before a race?
user34: She’s relaxed because she knows she can’t compete with the others.
user3: She can only watch and learn.
user56: The dog doesn’t seem happy to me.
Race: Actually, if you notice, he’s literally melting into the hug.
Formula: He’s perfectly calm, or else Lewis would have stepped in.
charles_leclerc: Where did you get those sunglasses? I want them toooo!
Yn.official: Sorry, but they’re only for cool guys. ❤️ Like to author
carlosainz55: So are you telling me?
Yn.official: Mmm let me think, no. ❤️ Like to author
danielricciardo: That’s my girl. ❤️ Like to author
f1
Description: During this race, Yn Yln lost control of the car and crashed into the barrier. Fortunately, we know she's okay, but there's a lot of disappointment.
liked by charles_leclerc, lqndonorris, and other 98989898
f1lover: Don’t worry Yn, you did great anyway.
Race: Guys, let’s remember she’s new to F1.
Vroom: We need to wait for the interviews to know more.
One_: Did you see her face when she got out of the car?
Ynmyqueen: Yes, she looked so sad, she had tears in her eyes.
Ynmylife: Yn, remember you’re amazing, don’t get discouraged.
OllieYn: Keep fighting.
user45: This is what happens when you flirt with drivers instead of training.
user6: Go back to F2, Yn.
user12: She shouldn’t even be racing anymore.
user78: I wouldn’t blame them if they fired her.
user9: She would deserve it.
Yn.official
Description: Guys, I’m really, really sorry. I promise I’ll do better next race.
liked by Olliebearman, oscarpiastri, and other 723672376
landonorris: Please don’t cry.
oscarpiatri: It happens to everyone to lose control of the car.
charles_leclerc: You made a mistake, and it’s human to make them. Don’t worry.
georgerussell63: Don’t be so hard on yourself.
kimiantonelli: Yn, seriously, it’s all okay.
Olliebearman: Haas didn’t blame you, so you don’t need to worry.
f1love: Yn, we love you.
Race: You won’t lose your job.
Vroom: Don’t apologize, everything’s fine.
danielricciardo: Sweetheart, don’t keep watching the crash video on repeat, it won’t change anything.
lewishamilton: If you need anything, your parents are always here.
user0: Please, stop pretending to be sorry.
user8: Yeah, now she has to play the victim, so she’s crying on Instagram.
user78: Yn, we don’t want to hate you, but you don’t do anything to make us love you.
user23: Guys, poor thing, let her pretend a little longer.
user5: Disgusting.
landonorris
Description: I'm going to cheer Yn up.
liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55, and other 27727288
charles_leclerc: Give her lots of hugs from us.
❤️ Like to author
oscarpiastri: I wish I were there with you. ❤️ Like to author
carlossainz55: Cabron, do what we can’t. ❤️ Like to author
danielricciardo: I’ll be there soon. ❤️ Like to author
landonorris: She won’t admit it, but she wants you there.
maxverstappen1: I swear, if you make her cry even more, you won’t make it to tomorrow.
landonorris: Don’t worry, I’m not that bad.
georgerussell63: But your sense of humor is awful.
landonorris: No, it’s not.
Olliebearman: Are we sure?
kimiantonelli: Absolutely sure?
formulaone: What a sweet thing.
one_: Norris is such a sweet guy.
Race: Such a good guy.
Vroom: Please, Yn, don’t cry.
1_11: I’m sure the second photo wasn’t meant to be posted by Yn.
user54: Yeah, sure, all just for views.
user6: Let her cry.
user9: It’s a fact, she did awful in the race.
Yn.official
Description: The little girl needed her father.
liked by yourcousin,danielricciardo , and other 88238239
comments restricted
danielricciardo: The father will always be by his little girl’s side.
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: I don’t know what I’d do without you.
danielricciardo: You probably wouldn’t have eaten those delicious desserts. ❤️ Like to author
landonorris: Which you definitely didn’t make yourself.
danielricciardo: Shut up, Lando.
yourcousin: Yn, don’t get discouraged. Being a woman on the grid isn’t easy, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up for your mistakes.
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Thank you, I love you.
yourcousin: I love you too, darling. ❤️ Like to author
kimiantonelli: Are you feeling better now, Yn?
❤️ Like to author
Yn.official: Yes, thank you all so much.
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Tag list
@barcelonaloverf1life @exotic-iris13
#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#fanfiiction#formula one imagine#f1 x reader#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos x reader#carlos sainz 55#carlos sainz junior#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#cs55 imagine#cs55 x reader#cs55 fic#charles x you#cl16 x reader#cl16#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#oscar piastri#op81 fluff#op81 imagine#op81 x reader#op81 fic#op81#andrea kimi antonelli x reader#kimi antonelli x reader
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paige bueckers x black!fwb!oc part one part two
nsfw // 3.9k words, dom!paige, sub!oc, oral (p is a munch #munchmadness), strap-on sex, praise, spit play, stomach bulge, hair pulling, breeding kink, dirty talk (this is a given atp), they’re a lil mean i’m ngl, fluff.
The sun barely even begun to rise yet, just shyly peeking out from behind the horizon when Venus began to shift in and out of sleep. Her head softly pressed against the silk pillowcase, a hand pressed against her cheek as she turned towards Paige.
The blonde was yet to have fallen asleep, she’d been up for hours, thinking about the pair’s admission of feelings on the couch.
It didn’t go further than soft kisses after that. Venus didn’t say it again, and neither did Paige. But she wanted to. So bad. The moment didn’t feel real, and with how fast Venus fell asleep in her arms, she thought she must have dreamed it. Paige thought it had to have been the heat of the moment or maybe even the chocolates. When Paige dropped the bomb, she meant it. But for whatever reason, her mind wouldn’t allow her to believe that Venus meant it too.
The soft shine of sunlight bounced off of Venus’s brown skin, the glow of her skin was mesmerizing, Paige couldn’t believe that this was how she got to spend her morning. Simply admiring the girl in all her glory.
She reached out to tug on the scarf around Venus’s head, pulling it forward to avoid hearing her yell about it slipping off, when she woke up. The action caused Venus to stir a little bit more, blinking sleep out of her eyes and seeing Paige practically stare at her.
Her head was resting in the palm of her hand, an elbow propped on the head to keep her upright. Strands from her bun falling in messy pieces across her face. The sports bra Paige wore was more than enough to highlight the hickeys on her neckline.
“Were you watching me sleep?” The groggy morning voice made Paige briefly shut here eyes.
“No.”
“You lying?” Venus questioned. Her lips were slightly swollen from sleep and her eyes were nearly shut. A sight Paige found all too attractive at 5:45 in the morning. How could she look so beautiful fresh out of sleep?
“You’re a pretty sleeper, I got mesmerized.”
“Quit that.” Venus blushed, her hand covered her face as she nuzzled her head back into her pillow. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I was just thinking about shit. Don’t worry about it, V.” Paige shook her head. “Go back to sleep, I know you’re tired.”
“Oh, you know?”
Paige nods, thinking back to the night they had before, the sound of their moans ringing in her ears, the feeling of Venus’s touch on the most sensitive parts of her body. She knew her like nobody else did, studied Paige like she was a piece of literature. Venus could write a whole multi-page essay on everything about the girl.
She scooted closer, brushing the hair out of Paige’s face. She looked ethereal with the small rays of sun on her face. “Baby?”
“Did I tell you how much I love it when you call me that?” The blonde responded, a soft blush forming on her face.
“What were you thinking about?”
In the back of her mind, Venus already knew what Paige was thinking about. Paige was not a fan of love, one specific girl who lead her on for months was to blame for that. And Venus was victim to something similar. It’s what made this casual sex relationship easy, they didn’t have to worry about falling in love, because they weren’t searching for it.
But here they were, just hours after admitting to the one thing that wasn’t supposed to happen, that should’ve never happened, and now neither one of them knew how to move forward.
Paige chewed on her bottom lip, a nervous habit that Venus found adorable. “I-uh. Did you mean it? What you said last night?”
“Did you?” Venus rebutted. She didn’t know how to go about this conversation. Paige was a sweetheart and she knew that, but God was it hard not to think that she was going to leave her for dead after this conversation.
Paige nodded slowly, knowing that if the words were to leave her mouth again that everything would become real. The feelings she felt would be real, the possibility of her getting hurt again would be real. And she didn’t want that. Not with Venus.
“You have to say it, Paige. I need to hear you say it.”
The silence in the room was deafening. It was hard for Paige to do that, Venus knew it probably better than anyone else. But she needed that for herself, she needed to know that the person she was the most intimate with, the person who was the most important to her felt the same way she did.
Paige leaned closer, cupping Venus’s cheek in her hand. The atmosphere became more tense and neither of them wanted to move, to scared of breaking down the other. So Venus was the one to make the move, pressing her soft lips to Paige’s with a touch that resembled a feather before pulling back.
“Venus.”
She waited, eagerly for her to say something else. Then was surprised by Paige leaning back in for another kiss.
It did hurt a part of her to not get that verbal confirmation, but as soon as Paige’s lips met hers again, as soon as her large, soft hands met her waist and laid her on her back, Venus pushed it all to the back of her mind.
“You drive me crazy.” Paige mumbled against her lips, pulling on the hem of the black Nike Basketball t-shirt Venus sported. Her lips moved like they had a mind of their own, blending with Venus’s as her tongue parted them and slipped inside her mouth—morning breath seemingly the least of her concerns. She pulled the shirt up more, feeling the warmth of her thighs and letting out a soft groan.
Venus’s hand crept towards the band of Paige’s boxers, snapping the elastic against the ivory skin of her hip bones.
“Slow down.” Paige muttered, her kisses soothing in nature, “we got all morning. All day if you let me.”
Venus would. Without a doubt she would let her do whatever she pleased. Paige could ask her to jump and she’d ask how high. It’s why, even despite the slight pain in her chest, she still let the blonde touch her like this and speak to her like this. Venus’s hands left Paige’s hips, reaching to wrap her arms around her neck and pull the athlete closer.
“Stop it.” Venus begged, not sure what she meant. To stop holding back, maybe to stop teasing, she definitely didn’t want Paige to stop kissing her and the athlete didn’t stop. “Please.”
Paige pulled back, not a single word leaving her lips as she pulled the shirt over Venus’s head and tossed it off the bed. “You’re so beautiful, V.” Those soft pink lips found her neck, kissing the bruised skin there with an incredible tenderness. “Most beautiful girl in the world.”
“Paige.” Her name left Venus’s throat as a strangled moan.
Paige’s kisses traveled slowly, at first to her collarbone where she kissed the bible scripture tattoo marked there. Isaiah 60:22. Paige remembered the very first time she saw it, the very deep conversation it invoked.
She then kissed her shoulder, at the Dahlia’s inked into her skin. The girl’s favorite flower, the ones Paige bought for her every time they fought, every time Venus had given her weed for free, every time the girl crossed her mind in a way that was more than purely sexual.
Her lips met the valley of Venus’s breasts, then over to the supple skin where she pulled a nipple into her mouth. “You should get these pierced, you know?” Paige spoke into her chest. “They’d look even more perfect.”
Venus simply nodded, arching her back into the blonde some more. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Whatever you want.” Venus moaned, eyes fluttering open to see Paige already staring back at her. Bright sky blue eyes drinking in her entire being, pink tongue swirling around her swollen nipple, sucking on it like a woman starved. “Just wanna make you happy, P.”
“I know you do.” She nodded, moving to show some attention to Venus’s other tit. “That’s why you let me touch you like this, right?” Paige asked. Her lips kept sliding down Venus’s decorated body, passing by each scar, each drop of ink, each bruise and love bite.
“That’s why you always forgive me, even when I piss you off so bad? You just wanna make me happy?” Venus’s breath hitched when she felt Paige speak against her hipbone, “tell me again. Tell me you love me.”
“You’re so fuckin’ mean. Can’t even say it to me first, and now you wanna hear me say it again? Fuck you.” Venus breathed, slightly pushing back at the blondes shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” Paige apologized. Her long fingers reached up to hold onto Venus’s hand interlacing their fingers together, the other creeping to the hem of the girl’s panties. White lace with an innocent small white bow. “You know how I feel about you, baby.” She added, kissing right above her clit through the cloth.
Paige’s tongue darted out to lick a stripe up Venus’s clothed clit, collecting her essence on her tongue.
“So wet. I do that, V?”
“Fuck. You.”
“I will. I promise, but you gotta say something for me first.” Paige teased, continuing with slow licks to her most prized possession. Venus could feel the saliva seeping though running past her folds from Paige’s actions, she was giving in. As desperately as she wanted to stand her ground, not let Paige break what was left of her confidence, it was so fucking hard.
“I hate you.” Venus said. Her voice attempted to be stern but it came out as a slight whimper. “Yes. You get me this wet, P.” Venus admitted.
The blonde dipped under the thick comforter and began pulling the lace down Venus’s long, toned legs. Her eyes immediately falling towards her dripping center and her head completely diving into it before there was even a chance to fully take her underwear off. The fabric clinging to Venus’s lower thighs.
Venus’s taste was addictive, that was evident in the way Paige’s tongue instantly traveled to her hole, torturously fucking her with her tongue and groaning loudly. She could die like this.
“More. Please, gimme more.” Venus moaned, her head craning down towards her lover. She let go of Paige’s hand, moving to hold the comforter to get a better look.
“I love how you taste.” Paige admitted. Her tongue swirling around Venus’s swollen clit, eyes looking up at her body. “I love how pretty you look like this.” Her choice of words was purposeful, telling Venus everything she loved about her as if it would excuse her inability to say those three words in the right order.
“Paige, shut the fuck up.” Venus whined. Her free hand forced her head deeper into her pussy, scratching at her scalp and tugging her roots roughly. “Just make me feel good, baby.” She drawled, slowing her eyes to close.
Paige moved her head side to side, practically at Venus’s mercy with the way she guided the blonde’s head. Her tongue dived into the deepest parts it could reach as Venus desperately pushed her in deeper. Paige let out a moan at the aggression and the arousal on her tongue.
Venus eventually let go, her body tingling as she pulled both hands away and gripped onto her sheets the thick blanker falling onto the blonde and Venus’s head falling back into her pillow.
She would never understand how each time they did this Paige would get even better than before. She found ways to garner reactions that Venus never experienced before. Her chest was heaving at the moment, hips raising off the bed and Paige had to hold her back down, nails digging into her skin.
“Fuck, it’s so good. Make me cum, daddy.” She moaned, grinding against the girl’s lips as best as she could until Paige sat up slowly, detaching herself from Venus’s pussy with a few kisses. She rose from under the sheets, giving a soft peck to Venus’s lips before licking her own clean.
She moved off the bed, much to Venus’s displeasure because her head fell back frustratingly. Navigated through the closet, she looked for and found the long purple strap-on that they had used more times than Paige could count on both hands. Venus watched as she discarded her boxers and fit it on.
“I love how much of a slut you are for me.” Paige finally spoke again, tapping the tip of the silicone onto Venus’s cunt, the sound echoing loudly through the room. The strap slowly broke into Venus’s pussy, the moan that left her mouth would ring in Paige’s ears for a lifetime. “Daddy’s pretty little slut.”
Her strokes were slow, giving Venus’s time to adjust to the length of her cock quite literally breaking her apart and the feeling of it against her g-spot. Then as soon as Venus reached to pull her closer, it was over. Paige’s thrusts sped up, her eyes glued to where they connected.
“I love strechin’ you out. Making you keep it open for me.” She spoke, holding Venus’s hip with one hand while the other held her leg to the side. Paige was so enamored with this view. She wanted it permanently engraved in her brain, burned into the back of her eyelids so she could see it whenever she closed her eyes.
“So big—” Venus moaned, scratching at Paige’s waist. The blonde leaned in close, pressing her lips to her neck where she sucked on the sensitive skin. Her palm moved to rest beside Venus’s head. Venus’s jaw fell slack, her arms wrapped snugly around Paige’s neck. “‘M so fuckin’ full, P.”
“Aww I know. But you take it so well.” Paige praised. Her lethal thrusts finally slowed down again, she rolled her hips so deep Venus saw stars. “Takin’ my cock so deep. You’re doin’ so good, baby. I’m so proud of you.”
She was right: it was so deep. The bulge very evident in Venus’s lower stomach. Paige nearly drooled at how tight Venus was against the strap, she swore she could feel it, making her clit throb as she grinded her hips against the back of the harness.
“Oh my God.” Venus whimpered, her hand pulling at Paige’s bra straps while Paige pushed down at her abdomen and fucked her hard. The combination of her deep stroke, the rough pace, and Paige’s large hand made Venus’s orgasm approach like a freight train. “Right there, yeah there. Fuck, yes!”
“You feel that? That’s all me.” Paige spoke cockily. She peered down briefly at where her cock moved in and out of Venus’s cunt, the sloppy mess she was making around the purple length. She wanted to taste it again, so bad. “Such a messy girl.” She teased before pulling out slowly.
“No, Paige. Stop fucking teasing me.” She whined, bucking her hips upward towards what she wanted most.
Paige ignored her, situating herself near the edge of the bed again and licking through Venus’s folds once again. Her eyes rolled at her lover’s taste, nose prodding at her pretty clit in a way that Venus could only describe as euphoric. “You gonna let me do what I want. You know why?” Paige mumbled into her cunt, feeding on the moans that left Venus and how those made her own cunt drip.
“Because you fuckin’ love me.”
Her plump pink lips wrapped around Venus’s clit, two fingers running through her slick as her other hand ran up her body and gripped her breast harshly. Paige slipped those two fingers inside, immediately curling them to the spot she had learned so well. “You love my voice, you love my tongue on this pussy.”
“Paige, I’m— gonna cum, shit!” Venus moaned, her legs slowly giving in around Paige’s head but the blonde didn’t seem to care, Venus’s pleasure more important.
She drove her fingers in deeper, twisting them and finding a new angle that made Venus mewl and writhe in her bed. Paige sucked harder, drawing Venus’s juices into her mouth before pulling away and spitting them back into her cunt until she was glistening. Her tongue lolled out to collect it again, eating Venus so well just as she had promised the night before.
I wanna eat you ‘til you’re begging me to stop. She promised she would. And she was.
Paige was so dedicated she didn’t even notice when Venus came with a cry of her name, she kept feasting on the girl’s over sensitive cunt and toying with her painfully hardened nipples and breaking her fingers in and out.
“Fuck! P-Paige!” Venus’s hand trailed to push her head away, her clit felt like it had a pulse of its own, an Paige knew she should stop, but Venus was just so wet and her moans were just so pretty. She didn’t even need to look at her face because Paige had seen the view so many times. She could nearly paint the picture of Venus’s back arched and eyebrows furrowed tight. The pout she would have on her face by now, combined with the sliver of drool that fell from the corner of her lip. Paige knew Venus like the back of her hand.
“Stop, fuck! I can’t take it, P!” Venus pushed a little harder and Paige sat up with the inevitable pop of her lips echoing off the walls.
She had never been so obsessed with the view of Venus desperately trying to catch her breath. It was so fucking hot. Venus was so fucking hot. She’d be a fool to let the girl go, especially now with her feelings growing to the size of a boulder in her chest.
Paige’s free hand held her cheeks together, forcing her mouth open as she allowed her spit to fall off her tongue and into Venus’s mouth before doing it a second time. Venus swallowed, keeping as much eye contact as she could through her lidded eyes.
Her lips puckered and Paige met them, their teeth clashing in the heated exchange. No words left their lips, just the occasional drunken smile and pornographic moan.
“Mmm turn over.” Paige instructed when she pulled away. Her fingers entering her mouth to lick the rest of Venus’s mess off of them before the soft fingertips tapped against Venus’s hip, assisting her in turning over and pressing a hand to the girls back to arch her the way she wanted.
The tip of the purple strap met her pussy again, teasing from her clit up to her hole which clenched and unclenched expectantly. “Say please.” The blonde joked.
“You’re such a bitch, Paige.” Venus breathed out, almost laughing but she didn’t find her joke funny in the slightest. She pushed her hips back, desperate for any type of connection. Paige’s eyes were glued to her, eating up the sight of her strap easing into Venus’s dripping cunt.
Paige’s lip found its way between her teeth as she drew her hips back, she let out a low whistle at the cream that covered the silicone before pushing back in. The rhythm the blonde found was fueled by that perfect arch in front of her and Venus’s sexy piercings in her lower back.
She was drunk off of it. Drunk on the girl’s moans, her ass rippling against her pelvis with each stroke. Her hands held onto Venus’s hips, pulling her back slightly to match her movements.
“Just like that, P. Mmm, fuck.” She groaned with her hands gripping at the sheets.
The athlete reached forward for Venus’s hair, the braids once neatly wrapped with her silk scarf now falling perfectly down her shoulders. Paige wrapped her hand around it in a makeshift ponytail before tugging, a cry of her name leaving Venus’s throat. Her large hand landed possessively on her ass once, twice, three times before griping the flesh softly.
“All I gotta do to get rid of that attitude is fuck you? You actin’ right now? Or am I still a bitch?” She murmured, and Venus could do nothing but moan. The multitude of sensations was too much to process at once.
Paige bottomed out, going deeper if possible. Her own clit was throbbing at the stimulation from the harness but she wanted to hold her own until Venus reached that peak again.
The tattooed girl couldn’t answer. Her eyes sinking to the back of her head as she repeatedly let out different variations of the same sounds.
“Fucking you stupid. Can’t even answer me, huh?” Paige coos, and Venus screams at how good it feels. “It’s still fuck me?”
“Oh, Paige. You feel so fuckin’ good.” Venus moaned while Paige’s pace stayed consistent, fucking her just right to get her close, keeping her on that edge. “I’m gonna cum. Wanna cum on your cock. Please, please.”
She practically manhandled her at that, tugging harder on Venus’s hair until her back met the flush of Paige’s chest. She held her there and dropped a hand to circle at her clit and Venus let out a gasp.
“Nah, hold it. Tell me what I wanna hear.” Paige said into her ear. Her lips met Venus’s neck kissing it softly as she pounded Venus’s life away, the strap nudging her g-spot with an insane amount of pressure. Just the way she needed it to. “Who do you love, ma?”
Venus attempted to avoid the question, wanting to stand her ground on the subject that led to Paige splitting into her like this in the first place. A “fuck!” escaping her mouth when Paige added more pressure to her clit, her juices leaking down her legs and the blonde’s doing the same thing.
“I wanna make you cum.” Paige started. Her face buried in Venus’s neck. Their bodies stuck together by the atmosphere of their sloppy morning indulgences. “Wanna feel you cum around my cock, Baby. Gonna fill you up so fucking deep. Make you a pretty mama. Just say it, and it’s all yours, V.”
It was manipulative. The way she babbled into Venus’s ears, not only fucking her to her release, but desperately searching for her own. Paige’s voice broke off into sinful moans, the hand once in Venus’s hair now clawing at the girl’s hips.
“Say that shit. Tell me you love me. Tell me it’s just me, I’m it for you.”
“I— fuck— I love you. I love you. Paige, I can’t anymore. Please.” Venus gave in, letting her head fall against the blonde’s shoulder as she accepted her fate.
“You can be louder than that.”
“I love you!”
The phrase scratched a certain itch in Paige’s brain. Making her nod into Venus’s neck groaning as she felt her own orgasm sneak behind her. “That’s what I thought. I love you more, mama. Cum, baby.”
The words run a thousand miles a minute in Venus’s head, turning her brain and body to mush and she screams as she comes. She can feel the smirk Paige leaves burned into her skin as she does so as well, covering the back of the strap in her own sinful substance. Venus collapses down onto the bed, thighs slightly shaking while Paige helps her ride it out.
“Stop.” She begs, or attempts to, pushing the girl’s hand away from her cunt. Paige curses lowly, saying something more to herself as she slips out of Venus’s sopping wet canal. Her orgasm covering the silicone in a sheer white that Paige moaned at again.
“You’re— a freak.” Venus tells her, a deep breath taken in between her words. Paige just laughs, disposing of the soiled strap on the edge of the bed and lying next to her. She can’t even think of how many hours must have passed because the sky was brighter than when they started and her phone was suddenly dinging with notifications.
The marks across Venus’s body are downright dirty, a painful painting of the love Paige had felt for her for months finally coming together alongside her other ink storylines. Hickeys decorated her neck and chest and hips and thighs. Wherever Paige could leave a mark she did; clearly.
She turned her head slightly falling in love with the way Paige looked looking at her. Eyes softer than she’s ever seen them. Her tanned skin flushed, with hairs framing her sculpted face. Pink lips full and swollen from biting them. She sported matching hickeys across her skin, some new and red, and others a deep purple from the night before.
“Hi.” Paige was the first to speak up.
“Hi, baby.” Venus grinned softly, her voice hoarse and throat aching.
She puckered her lips as she approached Venus, giving her forehead a short kiss and letting her lips rest there, “I love you. You hear me? You don’t get to leave now.” Her tone of voice was in a joking manner but Venus knew it was a genuine concern. To catch feelings for someone was one thing, but to open up to Venus like this was different. She didn’t want to get hurt again.
“I won’t. You’re mine and I’m yours.” Venus responded. Her decorated arms wrapped around Paige’s body, snuggling into her side and Paige cuddled her with a smile she couldn’t fight off even if she tried. “I love you.” The words were so foreign she felt no other choice but to repeat them until they stuck forever.
“I love you.” Paige replied, letting sleep finally take over her.
author’s note omg who wrote this… (ovulation week was hitting y’all idk what came over me here) this is the official final part for this short series, but i’m not opposed to writing more for venus and paige if you would like to see it! send me requests and thank you so much for all the love this past week, im feeling very appreciative! 😌
#kalena’s works ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅#sierrale8ne#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#paige bueckers smut#ncaa wbb#lesbian#wlw smut#oneshots ✧˖°ʚ🍓ɞ♡
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— I Love You
— 🧠 synopsis. A tough case leaves you in the more than willing arms of SSA Aaron Hotchner.
— 🧠 word count. 2,409
— 🧠 warnings. Foul language. Idiots to lovers. Friends to lovers. Weird plot. Possible jealous!Hotch.
Maybe it was the children that hadn’t been saved in time. Maybe it was the pitying glances from not only the team, but the police officers. Maybe, even, it was the way Aaron’s eyes flitted away any time y/n looked up.
No, y/n was mad. Angry, spiteful, defiant- any other synonyms for angry. The fact that the unsub had been completely fooled by y/n’s act until he had promptly decided he didn’t believe y/n’s promise to help in any way she could to lower his prison sentence. That’s the thing with schizophrenics: they’re extremely paranoid.
Y/n was so infuriated, she refused to talk- a habit that she had learned from childhood. If she didn’t say anything, she couldn’t get in trouble. It was a bad habit that y/n had eventually stopped by the time she went to college because the anger she kept inside of her without any kind of release would always find a way to rot her from the inside out.
So now, even on the flight home, y/n still hasn’t said more than two sentences in a row.
— 🧠
Aaron Hotchner was a man with excellent observation skills and the ability to adapt. He knew y/n’s habit of reserving herself to silence due to the amount of time they have worked together, but Aaron felt like something was different this time.
Instead of starting the pile of paperwork he already had, Aaron instead found himself watching y/n. She was always extremely sensitive to cases that dealt with kids, but this seem to hit home, adding to the fact that their unsub had blown his brains out within a five foot radius of y/n and the seven-year-old girl that had been the last victim.
When the team had gotten to the scene, they watched the little girl dissolve into y/n’s arms, brain matter and blood on the latter’s face. The look in y/n’s eyes when Derek had immediately rushed to the two of them was one of complete despair. Aaron watched, paralyzed, as you picked up the little girl and let her scream and wail near your ringing ears. You turned, pressing her head down so she wouldn’t look at the dead body and look Aaron dead in the eyes and took the child to the ambulance.
Something in your eyes had provoked worry in Aaron. Did you feel guilty? Were you not allowing yourself to break down when you needed to be strong for the little soul in your arms? Was there something you were trying to tell him?
“Hey,” Hotch murmured. He sat down as carefully as he could (which wasn’t too impressive seeing as it was 1 in the morning on a plane).
When you didn’t say anything, Hotch sighed. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I need you to know you did what you had to do. What he did… that wasn’t on you, y/n.”
Then you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and Aaron felt his heart sink. “Oh, honey…” he whispered.
And then you were in his arms, crying, while trying not to wake up the others. “Hotch, I-“ you started, sniffling.
“I’m here, sweetheart,” Aaron all but cooed, lightly carding his fingers through your hair. He knew you blamed yourself because that’s how you are. You always strive to do the best you possibly could, oftentimes resorting to neglecting yourself whenever you did something that you knew you could have done better or simply because you forgot.
“It’s all my fault, Aaron, I- I could have saved him but- I… I messed up and I- I don’t even know what I did! And that little girl…” you trailed off, another wave of tears threatening to overtake your ability to speak.
Aaron’s throat bobbed as he struggled to find the words to comfort the woman in his arms. Long ago had he resigned to simply being y/n’s boss/borderline friend because he accepted the fact that- as much as he hated to admit it- he was older, not your type, or just simply unattractive. But he would do theoretically anything you asked him to do even if it caused him heartbreak in the future.
“You saved that little girl, angel. *You* did. If you save one of them, you save all of them. Focus on the good, honey, not the bad. If you can do that then you can do anything, and believe me,” Aaron smiled, “I have no doubt in my mind you can do anything.”
Aaron held you and prayed to God that you didn’t hear how fast his heart was racing. He brushed your tears away and let you sleep on his shoulder, happy that he had hopefully gotten you out of your funk.
— 🧠
Later, Aaron woke up to Derek tapping his shoulder. “Do you want me to take our golden girl home?” Derek asked, with a softness to his voice that he had whenever he talked to you.
Blinking away the tiredness from his eyes, Aaron shook his head. “No. No, I got her. Tjank you, Derek, but you need to go home and get some rest.”
Derek nodded. “Get home safe,” he said to Hotch, a small smile in his face when he heard you sigh a little in you sleep and bury your head even further into Aaron’s neck.
Derek patted Aaron’s shoulder before taking his leave.
“Wake up, y/n,” Aaron murmured, heart swelling in his chest when he heard you mumble incoherent words.
Slinging his own go-bag and yours over his shoulders, Hotch helped you stand up.
“Hotch, lemme take my-“ you started, being cut off with a yawn.
“I got it, y/n,” Aaron chuckled. He let you slip your arm in his and all but lean on him as he made his way to his car.
When he got you settled into the passage seat, Aaron tossed the bags in the back and started the drive to your house.
“Aaron?” You asked, voice small.
He looked over at you. Despite the lack of light, Aaron watched you pick at your fingers. “Yeah?”
It took you a minute before saying something. You wanted to ask him why he kept calling you ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’. It’s not that you didn’t like it (you loved it), you just don’t think he could keep calling you that if he didn’t have any kind of attraction to you. You, though, you’ve been enamored with Aaron Hotchner since the day he shook your hand and offered you a job.
Similarly, you wanted to ask him what he did when he got lost in his own mind; when he himself couldn’t pull himself out of his thoughts.
So you settled on a breathless “Thank you”.
Silence reigned once more as Aaron tried to pick out the meaning of your thanks. Where you thanking him for driving you home? For letting you fall asleep on him? For… being one of the best friends you’d ever had in your life without saying it?
When Aaron carried your bag to the door as you unlocked the it, he wondered if there was another universe where he was taking you home every night, going to bed with you, waking up to Jack begging for pancakes with you, dropping Jack off at school with you, and then going to work with you. Maybe, Aaron thought, somewhere in another universe I’m watching the woman I love fall asleep with my child in her arms.
“Do you… need anything else?” Aaron asked, holding out y/n’s go-bag for her to take.
Aaron kicked himself. He felt like a school boy whenever you’re around, and the fact that he’s standing in front of you and your home isn’t really helping his nerves.
“Would you maybe want to, uh… stay? For tonight?” Y/n blurted. Aaron’s eyes must have widened because he saw y/n become flustered. “I- you know, just for tonight. I need a ride to work tomorrow anyway… You- You might as well just stay.”
“If you want me to-“
“Please?”
Aaron stepped into y/n’s house and immediately toed off his shoes. “Where do you want me to put this?”
“I’ll take it.” She accepted the bag and walked to her room.
Aaron walked around the kitchen. Your house was clean and colorful. You had quite a few photos of the sunset framed by your television, but there were a lot more candid shots of the BAU then of your family. Hm.
“Come here, A,” you called from your room (?).
Dutifully, Aaron followed the sound of your voice, pushing your door open slowly and entering your room. Where you sleep. Where you get dressed and undressed. Where you live.
You walked over to Aaron and handed him a little pile of clothes. “These should fit. I guessed your size. If those don’t fit I have more men’s clothes.”
“Why do you have men’s clothing?” Aaron asked, a smile toying at his lips.
“Brothers, boyfriends… they’re comfy,” y/n shrugged. “Does it matter, Aaron?”
Aaron watched you tilt your head, smirk widening.
“Just curious.” He defends himself poorly, red tinging his cheeks as he scratches his head.
“Bathroom’s right in there,” you say, pointing to the door attached to your room.
Aarom walks to your bathroom and shuts the door. He immediately releases a breath of air he hadn’t realize he had been holding. After turning on the lights, he changes into the clothes you gave him. Both owns smelled exactly like you, something that made Aaron smile.
He shut off the light and closed the door. “Thank you, y/n. I appreciate it.”
You looked up from your dresser. “You’d do the same for me. There’s nothing to thank me, Aaron.”
“What are you doing?” Aaron asked, approaching your figure.
“I don’t think you would want to see me walk around in just a bra and boxers, A,” y/n laughs.
The bluntness of your answers smacks Aaron in the face with a metal bar. “Boxers?” He finds himself asking.
You just laugh. “They’re comfortable.”
“You don’t have to change your sleeping routine for me,” Aaron says quietly, eyes looking directly into your own.
“Are you sure?”
“We’re just sleeping,” Aaron shrugs. “So there’s nothing to worry about.”
Your eyes flicker between your boss’s and suddenly your wondering how you got here. The line between boss/employee and more-than-friends/not-quite-dating was blurred and you didn’t even remember putting your thumb on how you felt about your boss.
“Okay,” you say slowly. You close the drawer, holding a sports bra and boxers. “I’m gonna go change and go to sleep… Do you want me to set up the couch or just sleep in the bed with me?”
“What do you want, y/n?”
You direct your gaze to the floor. “I don’t care, honestly.” You weren’t just gonna tell your crush you feel safer when his touch is what lulls you to sleep, that you’ve been in love with him since practically the beginning of time, that you wanted more than just a night (of PG activities!) with him.
“I hear your brain going 200 miles an hour over there, sweetheart. What’re you thinking?” Aaron teases.
“Will you hold me, Aaron?” You ask, urging yourself to look into his eyes. Moment of truth, you think, he’s either gonna laugh in my face or I’m gonna fall even deeper in love with my boss as we cuddle.
Aaron feels winded at your tiny voice. Yes, he wants to scream, yes! “Go get changed, honey. I’ll be right here.”
Then that smile is back and all Aaron wants to do his pick you up in his arms and kiss you, maybe spin you around the room. His heart swells in his chest again (it’s been doing that a lot lately, he notes) as you pat his arm in thanks as you pass him to head to your bathroom.
Aaron climbs into your bed, setting his essentials (badge, keys, gun, etc.,) on the nightstand.
You flip off the light switch and pad over to the bed and slip under the covers.
For what felt like a millennium, Aaron held his breath and waited.
“Aaron, I have to tell you something. It’s been on my mind and… just hear me out. Please. You don’t have to say anything back and I understand if-“ you babble.
“Take a breath, y/n,” Aaron soothes. “What’s up?”
“I’m in love with you, Aaron Benjamin Hotchner. Like, if I had to choose between you over breathing I would literally spend my last breath telling you how much I love you. You are always on my mind, Aaron, and it hurts because I can’t do anything about it. I know I’m not your type, I know I’m just your co-worker, I know you probably aren’t looking to date anyone, but I just… I want you to know,” you ramble, words tumbling out of your mouth like Reid when he get’s started on some random fact.
Aaron blinks, pupils widening. “Do you seriously think you’re ‘just a co-worker’ to me?”
You swallow. “Yeah?”
“Do you think I would let just anyone call me Aaron? How often to you see me taking out Morgan for coffee when he gets cranky? Do I almost always end up sitting by Emily on the flight home after a case? Do I call Spencer ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’?” Aaron asks quietly, hand resting on your cheek while he tucks a loc of hair under your ear so he can see your eyes better. “Jack loves you. I love you.” Aaron laughs at how comically large your eyes get.
“Jack loves me?” You ask.
Aaron laughs. “He loves you ‘to the moon and back’.”
“He loves that book, Aaron, don’t laugh at your baby boy,” you scold playfully.
“I outdo him though, because I love you to Saturn and back.”
You turn to the nightstand and shut the light off before turning back to face Aaron. “Will you hold me, Aaron? Please?”
“C’mere, sweetheart,” Aaron says, opening his arms to welcome you into him.
And then that’s when you know his words are true. His heart rate is definitely elevated, but so is yours. “Will you tell me you love me, again?”
Aaron, now lying on his back with you clinging onto him like a weighted blanket, complied. Carding his fingers through her hair, Aaron lulled her mind off to a quiet, safe place. “I love you, angel,” Aaron whispered, pressing a soft kiss to y/n’s forhead.
#aaron hotchner one shot#sfw.kj#x female reader#female reader#fluff#x reader#jules writes 📓🖊#criminal minds#criminal minds angst#criminal minds imagine#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner angst#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x gn!reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner fanfic
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Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa
Chapter 2: Shots Fired
series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.
chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesn’t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.
cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, religious guilt, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, implied domestic abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, manipulation, gaslighting, mind break, psychological torture, use of firearms
r-18+ (not suitable for 17 and under)
wc: 11.6k
[masterlist] [chapter 1] [chapter 3] [taglist]
a/n: likes are nice, comments and reblogs with comments are superior, anons are also superior too and would make me update faster cause it means people like what i write. this chapter takes an entirely different turn from the old story, some scenes are similar but the context is different. i host polls after this so stay tuned. Edit 02/11/2024: this chapter's end has been edited and changed. I've indicated the edited point, so that you could skip other parts to read it. Thank you.
YOU haven’t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.
It’s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself.
Not to mention, studying until the words are bleary and just looking at a book hurts your eyes.
But then, in all your dreams, everything you’ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikey’s car waiting for Emma.
Things take a different turn. He’s the one getting out of the car to meet you. It’s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. You try to reject him, try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped. This time, he’s not using his hands. He’s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of the thing you hold so dear while you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.
You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.
The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. You’re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was God’s divine judgement for your grievous sin. You’ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.
No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. He’s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.
You don’t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. It’s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.
Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.
You were so, so tired-
“Hello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?” A voice snapped at you.
Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older lady’s order -the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid all day long. “No, not at all Ms-” you started to explain. “-I was just … what was your order aga-”
You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! “So you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?” She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. “I need to speak to your manager. NOW!”
You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard any of this, he was definitely going to fire you. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next session’s tuition.
“No mam!” you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. “Th-there’s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and I’ll-” you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. “- I’ll pay for your meal! On me-”
“So you’re trying to imply I’m poor?” She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. “You disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”
You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologised to her.
“What is going on here?”
You winced at the sound of your manager’s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. “Is there something wrong Ms.?” He asked the lady. “What happened?”
“This little wretch!” She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. “She was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!”
Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying is out of the question. “I did not call you anything! That’s a lie-”
“You be quiet!” Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologising profusely for your so called rude behaviour. “I promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.”
You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. “Well, you better get rid of her!” She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. “Or you’ll lose me as a patron.”
“Of course mam.” He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. “You, come with me.”
You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the manager’s office.
Your skin crawled as you felt his penetrating gaze on you, as if judging you. “You know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders you’ve messed up?”
You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. “I only let you stay here because you said you were desperate for a job. But apparently, you’re not even bothered enough to keep it.” He spat out. “Unfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.”
“But s-”
“I said you’re FIRED. GET OUT.”
You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-manager’s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.
No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.
IZANA knows it's creepy to be waiting for Emma just outside her college, but it's not like he has a choice when she keeps ignoring any method he uses to contact her.
Mindlessly, he fiddled with his lighter with his back on the wall of the English department building and an unlit cigarette between his lips. Purple eyes scanned the people leaving the building one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. His hopes rose with each blond he saw, only for him to deflate when he realised they weren't her.
A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didn’t want to stand around and gape, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.
His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldn’t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasn’t been this angry at him before. Usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes she’s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.
All because of you.
Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought her gambling friends into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emma’s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain. He’s not the best person to be around, with how fucked over he was by life until Shinichiro gave him purpose but he loved his sister a lot and everything he did was to protect her. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma and he’d do anything to protect his humanity.
Only to watch it slip through his fingers.
First it was Mikey’s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emma’s life. Izana didn’t like him one bit- didn’t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didn’t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasn’t interested in a relationship yet.
The only reason Ken wasn’t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.
Now it is you, taking the space in her life that belonged to him and Mikey. You’re pushing both of them out of the equation, threatening their position in their sister’s life and everything they know.
Izana wonders how someone so insignificant was so important to Emma that she was willing to cut communications with her own brothers. It baffles him beyond understanding and at the same time enrages him that she could trust you so easily. That she was willing to turn against him in your name.
He took more puffs, skimming throughout the campus for any sight of her. It didn’t matter how he felt about it, as Kisaki had convinced him to ask Emma and you to go shopping, just to get back into Emma's good graces again. Apparently doing a nice gesture publicly for you would convince their sister to give them another chance again.
Especially because Izana had been the biggest opposition to their friendship.
“But Mikey was a little shit about them too.” he grumbles underneath his breath, cigarette in hand. “Why do I have to be the one to apologise? And why did Mikey get an out while I’m doing all the heavy lift-”
His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind and stood up straight, tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.
Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girl’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly and earning a shocked gasp escaped her lips.
“Get off me - Izana?”
Her free hand was fast to hit him, but her head was faster in turning around, only to recognize it was just Izana. Her hand stopped inches away from the smirking male’s face, the tension leaving her body and relief taking its place. It doesn’t last long, though as irritation suddenly crawls on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. “What the hell? I’ve told you to stop doing that.” she hissed at him.
A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emma’s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.
“Were you scared?” He teased, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, despite the glare she gave him in response. “You know no one would dare touch you.”
“Get off me. Your breath stinks like nicotine, I thought you said you quit smoking that shit.”
Ignoring Emma’s last question, he decided to change the topic. “Your lapdog isn't here with you?” he asked. Usually, you would be hovering behind her like a damn pest, so you not being around her was rather strange.
Emma is quick to shove him off lightly, putting some distance between the two of them, clearly still mad at him. "(Name)'s not feeling well, so she didn't come to class today. I'm on my way to get her medicine."
Oh, that's a surprise.
But with you out of the way, Izana could finally have Emma all to himself for today and hang out with his beloved sister. Maybe even make up for the party thing without apologising to you. Without you here, it’s likely Emma isn’t as mad at the whole situation and is playing it up to make you feel like you have someone on your side.
He knows you’re not going to protest if Emma says she’s in talking terms with her brothers again. It’s a win-win situation and he doesn’t have to grovel or ask for forgiveness for some joke that went wrong.
"So that means we can hang out?"
"Excuse me?"
"You don't have to keep pretending you're still mad at me now that she isn't here." He spews the 'she' with so much venom it could kill, before switching up with a sick grin, his hand stretched out. "We can go to Vivienne Westwood and get that Saturn necklace you like, what do you say?"
His words hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes burning holes into his face as her lips curled into a sick sneer.
“Are you insane?”
“What?”
“Don’t ‘what?’ me Izana! I just told you (name)'s ill and you're asking me to go with you to shop at Vivienne westwood? Are you nuts?”
Emma’s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. Izana kept his composure, despite his bubbling irritation beneath the surface of his skin, with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ‘She’s just being emotional’ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ‘Just take it easy with her’
“Oh come on, should I care about her-"
"You should be begging her to forgive you for what you did to her that night!"
"You can't still be mad at me for that shit that happened two weeks ago. And besides, it's not my fault she couldn't take a joke” his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth, digging his own grave. “I didn’t know your friend was that sensitive-”
“Are you listening to the bullshit coming from your mouth?” Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. “Is that what you think a joke sounds like?”
“Calm the fuck dow-”
“No wonder you’re fucking single, you’re such a piece of shit to anyone that isn’t Shinichiro!” Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. “How does anyone even stand you for so long? You’re unbearable!”
“Excuse m-”
He doesn’t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emma’s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.
“You’re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you aren’t my fucking brother, I can’t imagine being anything like you!”
The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.
It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat.
“I-I-i" she starts to stutter. It’s obvious that she can recognize what she had just said as he blankly stared at her. "I didn't mean i-”
He doesn’t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking away as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression. Emma followed behind, instantly, shouting his name at the top of her lungs followed with strings of apologies.
“Izana, wait please-” she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.
Izana zoomed away, turning Emma’s cries into background noise, her words repeating in his head.
“I didn’t mean it! I’M SORRY-”
YOU don't know which was worse, the feeling of helplessness that came with the reality of your life crashing before your very eyes or the splitting headache you've developed after crying in your room for a week straight. Laying on your bed all day, huddled up in a blanket and sobbing uncontrollably was unhealthy, but it was all you found the strength to do these days.
In all your years of being alive, you've never felt this pathetic. Not when you would be pushed outside in the pouring rain if you made a mistake in making dinner, or had been beaten with a belt in front of Yuzhua and Hakkai because you failed your catechism test. You could protect yourself from your brothers when they got violent. You could run and hide when your dad was really angry and wanted to take it out on you.
Unfortunately, no one told you what to do when your life is falling apart.
Ever since that day, you couldn't find the strength to go to class or do anything for that matter. It was like your entire energy was sucked out of you, leaving your body an empty husk with nothing left to give.
You only have yourself to blame.
You drag the blankets closer to your body, sniffling a bit. The worst part of all of this is that after this month, if you don’t find a job that pays you quickly, you are going to be broke. It’s times like this that makes you regret leaving your family. You know it’s wishful thinking, but you wonder if you would be forgiven assuming you return home in tears and repentant of your sin of disobedience like the prodigal son in the bible. Life is too hard to live in the outside world without the help and guidance of a parent. You miss your old life, with your own bed and guaranteed food, as long as you did as you were told. You miss how sometimes your parents took you and your siblings to eat out after church.
You miss your mother. You want to go back to her. Life is hard, and dealing with being jobless with nowhere to turn to is harder. You could ask Emma, but she’s already taking care of you and there was no way you would bother your friend about your money problems.
"Hey babes, I got the medicine for you."
Emma's soft voice rouses you out of your self-pity session. The wood creaks underneath her heels as she walks to your bed and takes a seat besides you, the mattress dipping underneath her weight. The scent of her Vivienne Westwood wafting through your nostrils fills you with a sense of warmth, familiarity and at the same time, dread.
You feel guilty. Perhaps it's because you don't know how to tell Emma what exactly is wrong with you. It's easier to give her the half-truth that you caught a stomach bug than say everything. If you even as much as hinted that Manjiro had something to do with the real reason you were a sobbing mess on your bed, you're sure she would overreact and fight with her brothers again.
But still, not telling her meant you were keeping secrets from her. Something you both promised not to ever do as you two became best-friends.
‘It’s for her own good.’ you try to justify it. ‘It’s better I keep my mouth shut.’
Pushing that thought at the back of your mind, you roll over to her direction, pulling down your blanket just a little bit to see her properly. Your heart drops at the sadness etched onto Emma’s face, a forlorn look in her eyes. You hated seeing her down, yet all you’ve been doing for the past few months since you came into her life was causing her pain. You know how it feels to lose family, no matter how bad they were to you and Emma is no different.
“Hey”
Your voice is hoarse from your constant crying, but Emma doesn’t mention it as she reaches a hand to caress your face. “You look better than yesterday. You up to eat?”
You nodded briefly, realising how hungry you were. You’ve barely had an appetite to eat anything, so your rations had been smaller and compact until you regained it back bit by bit, thanks to Emma’s constant care. Pushing yourself up, you sit up and yawn, quickly covering your mouth the moment a bad stench emanates from it. Emma’s face quickly grows sour as well, probably smelling it too.
“You haven’t showered.”
“Uhhh-”
You knew there was no excuse for that one as Emma put the food and medicine away before yanking you off the bed while talking about how gross you were for not showering throughout today. “You’re a girl (name), don’t do this to yourself, c’mon-”
“But-” you start to whine, trying to defend yourself. “I was tired-”
“Nope!” she retorted, pushing you towards the bathroom. “No excuses! I swear you’re acting like Mikey when he’s in one of his moods-”
The room falls silent at her words, the cheerful aura dropping the second Emma realises what she’s said, a wave of guilt washing over her face as she lets go of your hands.
“Fuck- I’m sorry (name)...”
Your heart aches at how heartbroken she sounds right now and shatters even further at the fact that everything, every problem they were experiencing right now was all your fault. You saw it deep in Mikey’s eyes how much pain and suffering your presence in their family had caused, and how his anger reflected that action towards you. You’ve been so entrenched in your own problems that you forgot the mess you made in their family.
“Emma, you miss them don’t you?”
‘It’s not too late.’ You mutter to yourself, your heart in your throat as you steel your resolve. You couldn’t let her make that mistake you made by leaving your family aside. You don’t want Emma to be like you.
“(Name), please don’t-”
“You can’t keep ignoring them forever.” You cut her short, speaking directly to her now. “You can’t keep ignoring Draken either too. You’re miserable.”
“I’m fin-”
“Emma no.” You snap at her, finally having enough of her stubbornness as anger swells up in you. “I see how sad you look everytime you look at your pictures with your big brothers and Draken. Do you think that it’s healthy to keep ignoring them like this?”
“You were the one they hurt, you shouldn’t feel bad for them-”
“It doesn’t matter! I don’t matter!” You yell desperately, now pulling away from her grasp in an attempt to put your foot down. “They are the ones who matter a lot. Those are you family members! People who love you and have protected you for years! Just talk it out with them! They miss you for god’s sake!”
“What the hell do you mean you don’t matter?” Emma roars back at you, suddenly enraged by your outburst. You nearly stumble back at how angry she sounded, fear creeping into your skin as your verbal claws retract. “You matter to me! You mean the world to me as any of them do! You’re my best friend and I love you and if they don’t understand that then there is nothing to make up for!”
By the time she was done yelling, her breathing was heavy and her eyes so intense you couldn’t even stare at her. Your eyes quickly flickered to your feet instead; scared of seeing the disappointment on her face and terrified of her anger. You didn’t like it when Emma yelled, it reminded you of your mother getting angry at you, something you hated doing to her.
Eventually, she took a deep breath and took a step closer to you, her hand intertwined with yours. “Come on, I’ll help you shower.”
You silently follow behind her, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped.
PERHAPS Izana should be angry at Emma.
It would be justified after the words she said from her mouth, but he can’t because he knows the truth. Emma was just angry as well and she didn’t mean any of the words she had said to hurt him. She said them because of you, however and he realises that every fight they’ve had is over your presence in her life.
Which meant that the true culprit was you.
People may believe in love at first sight, but from the first day Izana set his eyes on you, he could only feel hatred towards you. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him.
At first, Izana thought it was the fact that the both of you were clashing personalities that made him feel that way, but then you keep getting in his way and ruining things for him. He hates everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma and how easy it was for her to like you. Just your mere presence in general was enough to set him off because of how simple it was for you to be close to Emma while you barely knew her. It felt like he was losing his only sister to a stranger, and now the Emma who stands in front of him is a mere mockery of his real sister.
And that’s the frustrating part. He can’t do anything to hurt you. He’s smart enough to know that if he does, Emma would never forgive him.
“... Kurokawa, are you here with us?”
Izana snaps back to reality as Kisaki taps the table three times to get his attention. ‘I might have spaced out.’ He thinks to himself before facing the entirety of the table; Tetta Kisaki, the rather shrewd and ruthless dealer sitting, his equally irritating lap dog Shuji Hanma and the little shit that he called his younger brother, Mikey.
Speaking of Mikey, ever since that day he made that phone call and revealed his brand new plan of accepting you into their friend group, he’s been very quiet. Even throughout today’s meeting, he hasn’t said a word, aside from mentioning that Draken was going to be absent and asking where Kakucho was before the meeting began.
And knowing his brother, a quiet Mikey is a suspicious Mikey.
Now that Izana thinks about it, he’s noticed that Mikey, who was on his side initially had suddenly switched to trying to apologise to you. Which was weird, considering how egocentric Mikey could be on the topic of apologising. Izana has his suspicions, but then again Mikey is unpredictable due to his rather dark impulses, so he couldn’t really say anything yet, until Kakucho came back from his task.
Izana cleared his throat and faced Kisaki again, deciding to be as honest as possible. After all, it’s their fault that he’s in this mess, might as well remind them. “Just thinking about how Emma practically called me a bastard and I’m supposed to be okay with it.” He said nonchalantly and the air in the room shifted into an uncomfortable silence for the upteenth time this week ever since that unfortunate day. It isn’t surprising to anyone as to why though, Izana’s complicated relationship with the Sano’s is a sore topic that no one ever dared to bring up.
From Kisaki’s tight lipped expression, Izana is sure that the younger male is picking his words carefully in his head. Even Hanma who would have laughed or said something to intentionally piss off Izana remains silent. Eventually, Kisaki lets out a resigned sigh. “The audit would be done another time.” He states in a cool tone, putting his laptop aside before facing the two brothers. “It’s obvious we’re not gonna do anything useful until you resolve this issue with Emma and her friend.”
“Really?” The white haired male mocks, causing Kisaki to shift in his place, an irritated frown creasing his face. “would you like to hear my pla-”
“We’re not going to kill a civilian and draw attention to ourselves, Izana. I’ve already told you what to do.” Kisaki snapped back, his yellow eyes darting from Izana to Mikey, before narrowing in irritation. “Both of you. Just apologise to (name), it’s not that hard. You don’t even have to mean it, the girl won’t even know the difference-”
“Ah yes, cause that went well the last time.”
“And whose fault is that? I clearly told you to say “I’m sorry” and all you did was make things worse!”
“I’m just brutally honest.” Izana spits back. “And you can’t blame me because I tried, compared to Mikey who sits on his damn ass and has done nothing-”
“I wasn’t the one who called her a cheap hooker!” Mikey interjects defensively, sitting upright after staying quiet from the start of this meeting, finally saying something.
“Oh, so you can speak.” Izana retorts back, his voice cold. Mikey is so good at shifting blame onto others for actions he has a hand in, especially when he knows it would reflect badly on him. Unfortunately, Izana has been in this game longer than his little brother. “I thought you had gone mute with the way you don’t want to talk about the issue beyond pushing me to apologise to her.”
“You don’t make it any easier with how you talk to people.” Mikey hisses back, his tempo rising with each word, but Izana can hear the slight shake in his voice, almost as if he’s hiding something. “How am I supposed to do anything if you keep saying shit like you’re glad (name)’s gone?”
(Name)?
The entire room falls silent at Mikey’s sudden outburst, or rather what Mikey had just said. No one says a word as they all stare at Mikey in shock, eye wide and mouth hanging open like he’d grown two heads. There’s a glimmer of confusion in the dark eyed male before the realisation of his mistake washes over him, his facial expression changing into a mixture of guilt and pure terror.
As if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.
It’s unmistaken. Izana knows his brother is hiding something and it has to do with you. “You’ve never,” he starts slowly, never taking his eyes off Mikey, gauging his facial expression. “called her by her name. You only call girls who you had something to do with by their name.”
“I-”
“You fucked her, didn’t you.” it’s a statement, not a question. Mikey grows pale and it's more of a sure answer than anything else at all.
“I didn’t do anything bad… she’s still a virgin-”
“What.” Kisaki, interjecting as well, cuts him off, his voice cold. “Did. You. Do?”
Mikey is silent. It’s brief and doesn’t last long as he finally seals his fate with a quiet voice. “It’s not my fucking fault, she wore a short skirt and she was asking for it-”
At the side, Kisaki crumples back onto the dining table seat, his head in his hands muttering a quiet “Oh fuck, I should have stayed with Osanai.” as he shakes in disbelief. Hanma just sits there, clearly perturbed, not knowing how to react but at the same time, not really interested.
“Glad to know I’m not the only screw up.” Izana scoffs as well. Despite how cheery his voice sounded, the furious look on his face says a different story altogether. “Since apparently you’re just as stupid as I am.”
Mikey runs a hand through his golden locs, frustration evident on his features. No one has ever seen him look so frantic, like a little kid who broke something and is trying to hide it. “I didn’t do anything wrong. Sure she said no at first but I knew she wanted it when she relaxed in my touch-”
“That’s not what Emma’s gonna think, you idiot!” Izana barks at him angrily, his temper finally off the rails. “You practically threw away your entire plan before it even started! All for what? Mediocre pussy you could get from some other girl? And you know how Shin is about this shit. If Emma finds out and tells him, we’re screwed!”
There’s a mixture of emotions swirling in Izana right now. The urge to punch Mikey was strong, for daring to not only lie to his face, but also making him look like a fool to cover his ass.
Then again, he knows it’s really not Mikey’s fault but yours. You must have done something to make Mikey hurt you because he knows his little brother doesn’t hurt girls. You have this effect of turning people into worse versions of themselves, making them disgusting, evil and hateful.
You turned Emma against them and now you made Mikey’s dark impulses come out.
It’s you that’s the problem.
“So what anyone find out? They won’t believe her” Mikey snarls back, irritated. “She can’t blame me, I told her to fucking leave but she didn’t listen! She was practically begging me to fuck her-”
“ENOUGH!”
Kisaki’s voice is loud enough to silence the two brothers, ending their argument instantly as they breathe heavily from their prior screaming match. Izana slumps back on his seat as Kisaki sits up straight, eyes narrowed. Mikey does the same as Izana, his jaw tightly clenched as he crosses his arms on his chest, feet crossed. The younger male clears his throat, and starts to rationalise the situation.
“It’s obvious that we’re going to switch gears since this happened. We all have a curated reputation that we need to protect so that people don’t nose into our business.” He turns to Mikey who is still glaring hard at Izana. “Your brother has a point, you fucked up our plan by not telling anyone what you did-”
“You judging me too, Kisaki?”
“Can you stop being defensive for once Mikey and just listen!” Kisaki scolds, just about done with everyone making things more difficult for him. “I don’t care what you did to her, whatever affection or lust you have for her is a you problem. I just want this situation to be in our favour.”
The statement makes Izana scoff in dismal fashion, but he decides to ask out of curiosity regardless. “And how do you intend to turn this situation around? Cause right now she has leverage over us and any careless move can put us in a tougher spot than we can handle.”
Kisaki turns his attention fully towards Izana again, a knowing look on his face as he asks. “Is Kakucho done searching Mikey’s car?”
‘How did he know?’ Izana blinks, but then catches Hanma smirking and doesn’t bother to ask his impending questions. Kisaki always had a nasty and suspicious habit of continuously tailing him specifically, and usually it doesn’t go over Izana’s radar when it happens, apart from this instance. Which meant someone was being a rat in his group.
He’ll deal with that later.
Mikey raised a brow in confusion as well, opening his mouth to protest the invasion of his privacy when Izana’s phone suddenly rings. He picks it up, attempting to step out to answer it when Kisaki raises his hand to stop him.
“Answer it here.” Kisaki said, ignoring the way Izana looks at him like he has two heads. “and put it on speaker.”
He had no reason to comply, but he wanted to see where Kisaki was going with whatever plan he had. With a wry smile, Izana put the phone down on the table and slid the answer button, putting it on a loudspeaker.
“Did you find anything Kakucho?”
Ever loyal, Kakucho clears his throat and starts to speak, his voice sounding strained over the phone, as if he’s struggling with something. “Yes boss.” He answers, a twinge of nervousness coating his tone. “There’s a dash cam on the mirror and a spy cam underneath the compartment facing the passenger’s seat…”
Mikey grumbles under his breath something about fucking Kakucho up if anything ends up spoilt or missing in his car but Kisaki holds his hand up to his lips and shushes him. Izana continues once he’s sure his brother is done complaining. “And did you confirm the anonymous tip that we got?”
He can hear Kakucho shift uncomfortably, the silence on the other side of the phone drawn out until he finally says. “Boss, it’s too … I don’t think we should use this against her.” He tries to reason. “I think we’re going too far-”
“Perfect.” Kisaki chimes in, now looking at Izana with a satisfied smile. Kakucho is about to ask why Kisaki was there but Izana cuts him off instead. “Bring it back. I’ll explain once you come to the house.”
“Okay boss.”
The phone line dies and Kisaki, fairly confident in his plan, looks at Izana once again. “I’m sure you know where I’m going, right?”
Izana may think Kisaki is a pathetic brat who just happened to be smart, but right now, it’s like the both of them are connected and in tune with their thoughts. The tanned male stretches his lips into a smile, one full of malice and at the same time, glee, his eyes light with mirth when he realises what Kisaki was thinking.
Finally a plan he could follow along with.
“Alright, I’m all ears.”
THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.
By the time you managed to catch a bus after spending the entire day looking for a job and getting back to campus, it was already late in the night. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.
You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 00am. The time boldly written on the bus’ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.
A long time ago before the world weighed you down, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brother’s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.
Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.
“Can you show me the book?” your father asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.
Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you: “Women don’t dream.”
Maybe that was the day you realised the love you craved from your father will never be given to you. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you can’t even look at the stars, the memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.
You wondered what grievous sin you’ve committed to be so down on your luck like this. Today had been one disappointment to another
You passed by Emma’s dorm building, a sigh escaping your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- don’t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.
Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.
It was already complicated before it began but at least she's taking your advice and talking to them again.
Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.
A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emma’s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe you’re jealous because you needed your friend’s comfort right now and she wasn’t available. You felt greedy for this, after spending a week with her, you should let her be free.
‘She has her own life to live. And I have mine’ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ‘I have to stop being so dependent on her.’
Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realise that if you didn’t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else you’ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatised you.
‘Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend it’s okay and enjoy it so that I won’t have to wake up.’ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ‘Oh God, how far I’ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-’
You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched.
Silence.
You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasn’t anything at all. Nighttime always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.
You should just get out of here.
Eventually, you make it to your dorm house in record time, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. ‘Maybe I’m being paranoid. But at least I’m safe now.’ You think to yourself as you push the door open, closing it behind you.
Weary from the day’s stress, your body starts to give up on you but you push through, trying your best to just make it to your room. You’re sure you would just collapse on your bed the second you got there and forget about anything else.
But as you reach for the handle, a feeling of dread washes over you, the same one you felt when you were outside. ‘I really need to let this go. There’s no harm waiting for me. It’s just my room.’ You mutter to yourself. Your overthinking has cost you a lot, from your job to your academics and right now, you really need it to stop. Pushing whatever feeling was keeping you away, you walked into the darkened room.
You finally make it to your room, about to rummage your bag for the keys when you notice the door was unlocked. ‘Oh? Ami must have come back rather early, since I barely see her until 2am.’
(From here is edited)
The first thing that greeted you was the stench of some kind of smoke -weed, the kind that Ami liked to use whenever she was in the room. You always hated the smell and you recall telling her to leave the windows open whenever she wanted to smoke. Coughing, you quickly covered your nose and mouth with one hand and reached to turn on the light with another. “Ami, how many times have I told you to open the window whenever you smoke? You know I don’t like the smell-”
Your blood turns to ice the moment light floods the room, your mouth dry as you stare at the man perched on your reading chair, a leg crossed over the other, the weed blunt hanging between his tanned hands. His lips are stretched into a sick grin, showing all his teeth, purple eyes shining with an odd mirth as he glances at you up and down.
Izana Kurokawa.
‘Run’
You don’t need to be told twice, quickly discarding your bag and running towards the direction of the door, only to hit someone hard, standing tall in your way. You look up fearfully to see mismatched eyes, a scar running down his face and flinch backwards in reflex. It’s as if he gazes at you with pity, but quickly switches to a blank stare as he stands between you and the door.
You know him from hanging around Emma a lot in the Tenjiku frat house, Kakucho. He’s always around Izana and only loyal to him for some reason that you don’t know. He doesn’t listen to anyone else, not even Mikey. You realise that he might have been the one that was following you when you were walking home.
Begging him to let you pass would be futile.
“Don’t worry, I’m just here to have a little chat with you. I’m not going to hurt you.” His tone is calm, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort. If Mikey could hurt you without any remorse, then there’s nothing stopping Izana from doing worse to you. “And as much as your backside is as interesting as your face, I prefer talking to someone who is looking at me.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” The words fly out from your mouth before you even think of a more appropriate response but it doesn’t seem to give him any form of reaction other than a dry laugh.
He scoffed. “I don’t care. Turn around.”
Reluctantly you slowly turn to face him again, your body trembling as your fear filled eyes lock with his. Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear heavy footsteps walk out of the door, shutting it behind you, locks turning and trapping you with Izana.
‘Oh God oh God oh God.’
Your fear doesn’t go unnoticed by the white haired man, and he only chuckles at how stiff you were. Between the two brothers, you know Izana thrives in fear, using it to his advantage and it’s not unfounded. Notwithstanding his backing from Black dragons, Izana had taken Tenjiku from a down and out frat house, to a den of crime that holds power, trickling right into the administration of the university. Even his men know better than to ever get themselves in his bad books, because no one can ever escape him, no matter how much you try to run.
It was only a matter of time until he would make you pay for causing him problems, but you didn’t think he’d come by himself. You felt stupid for thinking he wouldn’t care about you or he’d forget how angry he was at you and leave you alone, especially with Emma still not on speaking terms with them.
He motions with his bunt for you to come closer to him and you comply, taking careful steps until you’re standing right in front of him. He eyes you again with a tepid frown. “When you meet a king, you don’t stand before him, you kneel.”
Kneel. You want to assume he’s not serious but you know better than to question him and go down on your knees, focusing your gaze firmly on your lap. It’s humiliating the way he has you at his mercy, without even moving an inch but it’s better to be compliant than to aggravate him even further by being disobedient.
You’ve learned the hard way what could happen if you resist.
From the corner of your eyes, you watch as Izana puts out his weed blunt on your reading table leaving a sorching mark on the table, before reaching behind his waistband. Your mouth grows dry the second you see the gun, your heart pounding against your chest as he presses the barrel to your head.
‘Oh god.’ You gasp as he presses it further against your head, until you’re sure it would leave an indent. ‘He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me…’
“That’s odd,” He murmurs. “Usually, other people would be begging for their lives when met with a gun to their head, but you’re quiet. If not for the way your hands are trembling, I’d think you weren’t scared.”
This time, with a gun pointed at your head, you’re careful with your words. “Y-you said you won’t hurt me.” Your voice shakes with fear but you continue. You know men like Izana, he reminds you of your older brother who ruled the house apart from your father, with fear and control. Sometimes, when you were able to stroke his ego, he’d go easy on you. Maybe that would work on Izana too. “That you want to talk.”
“And what if I changed my mind? Pulled the trigger? That’ll make my life easier, yeah? I won’t have to fight for my sister’s love and affection with you.”
Your breath hitches in your throat when you hear the safety go off and watch as his finger curls around the trigger. ‘Oh God, he’s going to kill me. He’ll shoot me dead. I-i have to say something- I don’t want to die-’
“I-i trust you not to do it.” You reply, your lips trembling as you struggle not to think of your head scattered into pieces on the floor if he chooses to kill you. “You’re a man of your words.”
There’s another complete silence that engulfs the entire room, until you hear a click that makes you flinch for a split second, waiting for the bullet that would end it all. Instead, it’s him putting the safety back on, and chuckling at your reaction.
“You trust me? How foolish.” He laughs, tracing the gun from your head down to underneath your chin and forcing you to look up at him. You’ve only read about people with empty eyes in stories, but seeing it in person was so terrifying. “Is that why you ended up with Mikey in his car?”
All the blood rushes from your head to the tip of your toes. “H-how do you kn-”
“I have eyes and ears in this school, (name).” You’re sure it’s the first time you’ve heard him call you by your name and despite being in a life or death situation, you couldn’t control the shiver that ran through your spine. “You wanted him to touch you, right?”
“T-that is not what happened!” You suddenly cried out, trying to explain your own side of the story. Of all the people who know your dirty and shameful secret, Izana is the worst pick, just your luck. “It was a mistake! I tried to tell him I didn’t want it but I couldn’t-”
“Ah ah -” Izana cuts you off, tilting your chin higher with the gun. “Don’t lie to me. You must have planned the entire thing to make Mikey look bad”
“No! I wasn’t trying to do anything, I just wanted to talk-”
“Really? Cause Mikey told me an entirely different story-”
“No, no I- didn’t… -”
“You were dangling yourself like a piece of meat for him to fuck and he’s a man, you know. He has urges and it's hard to resist temptation.”
“That’s not true-” your lips start to tremble at his words, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to be assaulted, you just wanted to talk to him about the Emma issue and you wanted to apologise. “That’s not true-”
“Oh but it is.” He said firmly, now leaning in closer to your face until there’s barely any inches between the two of you. “And now Mikey feels like a piece of shit because he couldn’t stop himself.”
“No-” your voice is small, trying to defend yourself but even you are beginning to doubt your own credibility with how he keeps twisting the narrative around until you begin to actually believe him.
‘No! Don’t let him make you think you’re in the wrong! You know what happened!’
“He even told you to leave but you refused to. You were baiting him to just do something to you so that you can tell everyone how bad Mikey is and make yourself get more sympathy points. Am I wrong?”
“No! I would never do that to Mikey!” You don’t realise your tempo had suddenly gotten high or that tears had started to drip down your face, but Izana did. He doesn’t point it out, staying quiet as you start to shout at him. “I would never bait him into hurting me! I just wanted to make up with him because I felt that I overreacted at the party I swear! And then he touched me in the car -”
“And you never reported him to the school authorities? Why? Did you want to blackmail him for money-”
“Because I love him!”
The words flew out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself from saying them.
Your heart drops as a mischievious glint appears in Izana’s eyes. His smile drops slightly, still maintaining the gun on your chin. “You love him?” He says slowly, testing out the words on his lips. “Love? Mikey?” He looks so deep in thought, like the concept sounds so foreign to him that he almost can’t believe it. His gaze falls back to you again, a quiet scoff emanating from his lips. “You really have no shame, do you?”
Unable to maintain eye contact with him, you break away from his gaze, biting down on your lips to prevent yourself from falling apart. When you don’t respond, Izana takes your silence as an opportunity to keep talking. “If you love him so much, then what’s wrong with what you both did in the car that day? It was what you wanted, wasn't it?”
“Not like that…”
“But you claim to love him.” Izana is calm and cool, while you’re stuttering on your words, making you look like you’re the one who is wrong. Like what you’re saying doesn’t make any sense to begin with and he’s the one saying something of reason. “And yet, you didn’t even notice he wasn’t himself that day. Or did you take advantage of his fragile state of mind?”
“I would NEVER-”
“You would, because you get to be the so-called victim and he gets to be the villain in your own story. Do you really know the implication of your actions?”
“That’s not right.” You don’t even realize how quiet you’ve gotten, your voice full of uncertainity. “I didn’t … it’s not…”
“Shut up.” He cuts you off again with a firm tone, tapping the gun on your chin gently to enunciate his point. “The reason why I haven’t put a bullet through your head as much as I want to is because I love Emma. I love Emma so much I’d kill for her and I’d resist the urge to kill for her. That’s how Sano’s love. That’s true love. That's something you'll never ever experience.”
You stay silent, trying to understand what exactly Izana was calling love. He leaned closer, making you feel even smaller. “If Emma finds out, she’ll think Mikey intentionally hurt you and she will hate him. But I guess that’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Never. I don’t want her to hate him” your inner voice telling you it’s not your fault, is nothing more than a whisper, the feeling of guilt and shame overtaking you until you’re almost suffocating. “I just want them to be happy…”
“Then you know exactly what you’re meant to do, right?”
Of course you know what to do. Ever since you were child, it’s been drilled into your head. Whenever your brothers hit you a bit too hard or your father went overboard with his belt and you ended up in the hospital, your mother would take you aside to issue a warning that still rings in your head. That had terrible consequences if you refused to follow through with it.
You nod weakly. It really doesn’t matter what is right and wrong when it comes to the Sano’s, but what they want. Izana taps the gun on your chin again, shaking his head. “I need a verbal answer.”
“I won’t tell anybody what happened. Especially not Emma.”
Satisfied, he withdrew his gun from your chin and your face falls onto his lap, unable to support your head any longer. You feel a hand reaching down to pet your head, like you were a dog who had just been tamed by her new owner. The strength to push him off or stand up had left you, feeling drained as the weight of guilt settle down on your shoulders, heavily. You know you shouldn’t believe anything Izana says, but then again he does have a point. Maybe you should have been more receptive of Mikey’s touch or at least be polite about declining him instead of shoving him off and hurting his pride.
You feel so utterly powerless. Despite being wronged, you know there’s nothing you can really do to save yourself. You don’t think you can bear the traumatic experience of being an outlier again.
Mikey. You don’t want to hurt him. You don’t want anyone thinking he’s a bad person over a singular action.
'Maybe it’s not as bad as I think, I did enjoy it mid-way, so it should count as something. Right?'
You feel sick just trying to think about it.
“You know, if you’re this obedient, we can get along just fine.” He hums, breaking the silence as he pets your head gently. You hate yourself right now. How easy it is to do whatever it is that you’re told because disobedience is not an option. “I’m sure you wouldn’t want to know what I’ll do to you if you break your promise.”
“No” your voice is quiet. You feel tired, sick maybe, you don’t know. Maybe it’s the weed he smoked earlier affecting your judgement and reasoning. Or it’s the lack of sleep that has made it difficult for you to think straight or stand up. Either way, you don’t care. “I don’t.”
“Good girl.”
Bonus:
You know he’s mocking you, but you accept it, like you do with every circumstance thrown at you.
IZANA looks down at your sleeping figure with a curious gaze.
For a moment, he almost pities you. Despite the faint glow of the room lighting, he can see the dark circles underneath your eyes and how stressed you look. For someone who is actively working to pay her fees while sustaining herself with no one caring for her, it must be hard being abandoned by society.
He can see why Emma picked you to be her friend, she always had a trait of picking up stray animals who had no one because she wanted something to protect. It’s no different with you, the way she’s so fiercely loyal to you and why she wanted you to be accepted by their family. No wonder she was hurt when you were vehemently rejected by them.
If he had a conscience, he’d feel bad for you. You love Mikey, of all people, someone who only saw you as a nuisance and to push the blame of his actions onto. All those times Mikey was cruel to you must have hurt the most because you truly cared about what he thinks about you.
He’s careful when he lifts your head from his lap, not wanting to wake you up. He puts your head on the chair and turns to leave, already overstaying his welcome. He’s done the thing he was supposed to, ensuring you stayed quiet about Mikey’s actions and there’s no need for him to be here any longer.
As he walked to the door, his mind goes back to you. In a way, you and him were similar. All alone, unwanted, with nobody in the world to care about you, cold, uncaring parents who didn’t think twice in terms of abandoning you both. The only difference between you and him is that he grew a backbone and you haven’t. You’re like a kicked dog who continues to stay on the ground to get kicked, in hopes the person kicking you stops eventually.
As long as you stay on the ground, people like him will keep kicking you.
He knocks loudly on the door and the locks turn. Kakucho opens it for him, peering inside with a worried gaze, his eyes settling on your body slumped over a chair.
“Did you hit -”
“I didn’t touch her.” Izana snaps at the taller male, stepping out of the room properly. “She’s fine, physically at least. Emotionally she’s a mess. But that’s Mikey’s problem to fix.”
“Huh?”
It wouldn’t hurt to tell Kakucho your little secret. “Apparently (name)’s in love with my dear brother Mikey so she’s keeping quiet what he did to her.” a cruel smile stretches across his face. “How pathetic.”
Kakucho frowns at Izana’s statement, but as usual he doesn’t say anything in response. Instead, his eye darts back to your form again, taking a good look at you, his eyes softening. Ever the gentleman.
“She shouldn’t really stay like that Izana, she’ll get a stiff neck-”
“Kakucho.”
That was enough to end the conversation.
special thanks to: (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra @ilovetwodmen @kodzubaby @straightfromheaven @manchie55 @pikibee @tomeyano @matchamilktea-05 @tenjikusstuff4 @m0onz1 @hapikiou @rainnyzz @Lovelyartistz @lik0 @maraya-007 @thisismarisaaa @reeyy0-2 @littlemisspropaganda @cherie026
#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers angst#tokyo revengers dark content#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers x reader smut#manjiro x reader#manjiro sano x reader#mikey sano x reader smut#mikey sano x reader#izana kurokawa x reader#kurokawa izana#izana smut#izana kurokawa#izana kurokawa x femreader smut#tokyo revengers izana#izana kurokawa smut#izana kurokawa x reader smut#izana x reader#tw. dark content#tw.noncon#read the warnings
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Can I request a Lil fluff with the team (mainly Spence) where the reader had a massive potty mouth (like they're from a country that isn't so harsh about swearing, England, Australia, New Zealand?) But she's all very professional when need be but when talking with the team she's cursing up a storm (maybe the terms "good cunt" and "shit cunt" turn up?
Good cunt means someones great, amazing
Shit cunt meaning well someone's bad) and Spence gets anxious but she reassures him that she's not swearing AT him but more making sure her words hit to where they need to go?
Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader Trope: Friends who Flirt (?) ; Fluff just fluff! w.c: 0.9k Warning: CM violence; citizenship inaccuracies idk A/N: Apologies again that this took a while! I am not from Australia so I had to search up some more slangs to use for this. I hope I did it justice and I had fun writing this, Anon! Thank you for requesting 💗 Main masterlist
Down Under. // Spencer Reid
It wasn’t your fault the Americans didn’t have ‘swearing’ programmed in their DNA. It was although your fault why you ended up in the FBI—receiving looks and eyebrow raises from the team—rather than in a bustling city of your homegrown country in the southern hemisphere, Australia.
But you really couldn’t blame yourself now could you? The idea of giving up your citizenship to be a part of the illustrious BAU was too good to pass up. So you packed your bags, entered the FBI Academy, and passed with flying colors—nearing perfect that David Rossi pulled ranks just to get you in the team even with how green you still were.
“So what do we have?” you asked, rounding into the conference room with Spencer in tow.
“Sadly, my precious koala, we have murder,” Penelope answered with the remote in her hand, flashing the photographs of numerous mutilated bodies. “Jacksonville, Florida reported a series of killings over the past month and it’s not looking pretty. Each victim had been dumped in alley ways and all missing a toe.”
JJ slightly reeled back. “Well, that’s a new type of trophy.”
“It’s not very common,” Spencer backed up. “Jerome Brudos, ‘the Shoe Fetish Slayer’ is the only known serial killer that kept a foot trophy from his first victim. He was only named as such because of his disturbing foot fetish and collection of women’s shoe catalogs that he considered as pornographic material.”
“Ah a shit cunt,” you remarked, making Spencer shift on his seat to look at you with inquiry.
“Y/N,” Emily warned. “Alright, wheels up in thirty.”
———
The case file was too thin for the team’s liking. How was it that a serial killer with five, possibly six, victims under his belt only had a couple of pages on it and with incomplete identifications and no missing or initial reports done.
“Emily, is this it?” Luke waved the slim folder up in the air. “I mean, I know the victims were all homeless but damn. Did they even walk and ask around?”
She sighed. “I called it in and the only reason we were invited is due to the upcoming elections.”
“Bogan coppers are they? Why doesn’t that surprise me at the least,” you scoffed
“Matt and Luke, you’ll visit the last location of the body—” Emily instructed before turning to the rest of the team. “JJ, coordinate with the media to get them to cooperate. Y/N and Reid, talk to the forensics. Rossi and I will settle base at the station.”
A series of hums and agreements echoed throughout the compact jet before settling into a lull.
Spencer shifted on his seat, turning to face you who was busy shifting through the papers. “Hey, in the office you—“ he cleared his throat. “said a phrase, what did it mean?”
You turned slightly, noting his nervous gaze. “You mean ‘shit cunt’?”
He nodded.
“It means someone bad, low life, scum of the earth—wait, you don’t think I meant you, right?”
“What—no, no!” He sighed, having spied your raised eyebrow. “Well, maybe? I didn’t know what it meant so I don’t know.”
You giggled. “Spence, if I was going to describe you it would be—pardon my French, good cunt.”
“For someone so tiny, you sure do curse a lot,” Rossi interjected.
“What can I say, us from down under just have colorful vocabulary,” you shrugged.
———
The team was finally back in home base after five days in the sweltering heat of Florida and you couldn’t feel any more tired than this moment as you waited for your sister to come pick you up. Granted you could taken the last train ride home but you just didn’t trust yourself to not miss your stop plus she volunteered so you hastily agreed—never one to say no.
“I think I’ll wait until your sister arrives for you,” Spencer volunteered, taking your go bag out of your hands.
“I am an FBI agent, Dr. Reid,” you teased. “Perfectly capable of taking care of myself”
“And I don’t disagree! I’ve seen you take down Luke in training and shoot multiple unsubs but you look dead to your feet.”
You blushed, grateful that the night made it less obvious. “So are you my knight in shining armor then?”
He cleared his throat, holding on to your gaze. “I could be.”
You sucked in a breath.
The temperature between you suddenly felt hot. Did that mean what you think it meant? Did that mean he liked you too? You opened your mouth to ask but was interrupted by a car halting to a stop in front of you.
It was your sister, what rotten timing.
“Oh please, stop caking and get in before I get ticketed or better yet make it worth it and just pash already!” She shouted through the rolled down window.
“Caking? Pash?” Spencer repeated.
“Well—I have to go. Thanks for keeping me safe, Spence.”
He stops you on your tracks, holding to your hand. “Wait what do those two words mean?”
You laughed, squeezing his hand in return, and felt a sudden burst of confidence. “Come find me when you figure it out.”
With a wink, you left Spencer dumbfounded and dazed on the sidewalk.
Some notes: Bogan - an uncouth or unsophisticated person Coppers - policemen Caking - flirting Pash - passionate kiss
Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#Spencer Reid one shot#Spencer Reid oneshot#Spencer Reid fluff#Spencer Reid x fem!reader#Spencer Reid x you#Spencer Reid x reader#Spencer Reid x y/n#Spencer reid
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to people who don’t know c!tommy lore btw, here’s a quick tl;dr.
he is a fictional character. he’s not real life TommyInnit. none of this applies to real life TommyInnit to my knowledge idk I don’t watch him. maybe he died and came back to life due to black magic idk but it’d be unrelated to c!Tommy anyway.
quick summation of his personality is that he's basically like the most loud fucking obnoxious little brat ever but he’s also got a big heart. he’s great. 10/10.
he's also a child soldier who suffered through severe child abuse and a whole lot of other shit. his trauma was suprisingly really well portrayed for a sixteen year old RPing their oc in minecraft. basically his whole Thing is that he was a traumatised teenager who wasn’t a perfect victim but was still written really sympathetically. his fanbase is mostly mentally ill trauma survivors from all I’ve seen bc of that.
despite that, for some fucking reason his canonical ending is killing himself after saying all he wants is a simple life, Getting That In The Afterlife, and being bffsies with his abuser. total tonal whiplash, sudden ableism, it’s a nightmare and makes zero sense.
real life tommyinnit talks about this being the start of another arc he has planned and is pissed at people being weird about c!tommy in chat. this arc is cancelled bc the irl dream is too busy being a misogynist on Twitter and handling his allegations in the worst way possible (probably bc if he had to handle them Well he’d have to talk about all the times he was weird to minors on stream including the irl tommyinnit and also a thirteen year old girl bc why the fuck not) so it just Ends implying that it’s good for abuse survivors to kill themselves. it’s real fucking bad.
2 years later tommy and his friends log on the server and just completely retcon that ending bc it’s dumb and sucks and now c!tommy is chilling living his best cottagecore life while his abuser is Presumably dead bc he’s a weirdo necromancer stalker who refuses to admit they’re not Besties, and he’s making up with the people he hurt. it is actually thematically appropriate and not ableist as shit! people celebrate bc CAN YOU BLAME US. CAN YOU FUCKING BLAME US WHEN WE WERE STUCK WITH THAT THIRTEEN REASONS WHY ASS SHIT
anyway c!tommy happy ending real 💚💚💚💚💚🇨🇿 i put the czech flag there by accident but it can stay.
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Could I request Astarion and his s/o getting into a sass competition where Astarion ends up confessing to her by accident and now he's all flustered?
Astarion x Reader
“Can’t you go any faster?”
“I’m not exactly as well versed into taking these off as I am in putting them on, darling.” Astarion quipped at you as he fiddled with the lock on your cuffs.
Being somewhat of an anti-hero liaisons these days, the group had been pinched on some trumped up but completely true & legal charges of petty theft and larceny. Your options were fight, flight, or get arrested when confronted by the guards and charges. And since you couldn’t fight a whole city’s worth of Iron Fists, and running also seemed unplausible as you’d have to come back to the city sometime, you decided to take you lumps and went to jail. Luckily, where there’s a will there’s a way. Or in this case: a vampire with a lockpick up his sleeve.
“Why did you wait to do me last anyway? Just to see me suffer?”
“Well,” Astarion cooed, “it does have a certain visual appeal.”
You clicked your teeth and rolled your eyes. “Could you just hurry up? I’m starting to lose the feeling in my hands. All the blood is rushing out of them.”
“Oh, well, we wouldn’t want that.”
“Well, if you want my blood again, you should be more sympathetic to my pain.” You told him. Sighing heavily as one arm was free and Astarion moved on to the other one.
“Don’t you threaten me. Besides, if you won’t give me what I want, I’ll just move on to some other lucky companion in our camp.”
“Ha! Like anyone else would have you.”
Astarion frowned. “I’ll have you know that there are plenty of people who would welcome my teeth at their necks. Hundreds. Thousands!”
“Yeah. One blood obsessed drow and…who was the other one you tricked again?” You pulled at the shackles, which jiggled the irons and knocked the lockpick free, but unbroken. The vampire growled at you.
“I tricked you easy enough, didn’t I?”
“Only because I took pity on you.”
“Pity?!”
“Yeah.” You told him. “That poor, sad, puppy dog ‘please feed me’ look was just something I couldn’t say no to.”
Astarion growled again. “That is not how it happened. Besides, if you didn’t like it you wouldn’t keep asking for more.”
“Oh sure. Blame the victim.”
“You are not a victim!” He snapped at you. He seemed a little wounded by that one. Maybe you went a little too far. “Gods.” He cursed under his breath with a frown. “You are lucky I love you so much, otherwise I would just leave you here, chained up, and never bite you again. No matter how much you begged me.”
The lock finally snapped open and your arm fell to the side. You lifted it to rub your wrist but were uncharacteristically silent.
“Would it have been too much to expect a thank you??”
“Did you just say you love me?”
Astarion froze for a moment. A little wide eyed at your question. He seemed to be racking his brain for a moment. Trying to remember the conversation before an ‘Oh. Shit.’ expression came over his face. “What? Oh, that. Figure of speech darling, of course.” He let out a single nervous cough after that and a rushed, “let’s go meet up with the other.” Before he turned on his heels and made a speedy exit.
You rub your wrist one more time as a soft, shy smile came to your lips behind his back. You follow after him and meet up with the others. Waiting just outside the prison for the two of you, as apparently just around the corner was enough of an escape from the mighty Iron Fist.
“Ah! I just love this fresh air.” You exclaim, followed by more comments on how dusty & dank your cell had been, but really just watching Astarion’s shoulders tense.
You spent the rest of the day subversively tormenting Astarion. Making comments on how much you loved the weather, or loved a dress in a window. How much you loved dinner that night. How much you loved getting a good night’s rest that night.
By the time everyone had gone off to their respective tents for the evening, Astarion had apparently had enough and slunk up to yours. “I know what you’re doing. Now stop it!” He hissed.
“But I thought you’d love it.”
“Stop it!” He hissed again. If he could right now, he would blush. You were tempted to let him feed on you for a moment to get the full effect. “I mean it! How would you like it if I threw every verbal misstep in your face? I don’t keep bringing up the time you said Ibis instead of Ignis, now do I??”
It was pretty funny when that bird showed up.
“So, are you upset that you said it and I’m teasing of you, or are you upset that you didn’t mean it and I keep bringing it up?” You honestly didn’t know which answer would be worse at this point. You felt bad you had wounded his pride to the point that he came to talk to you. But you also don’t think you could take it if he told you that he didn’t love you.
Astarion just stood there for a moment, thinking, before he sighed and waved you off. “Just…knock it off ok. I’ve had quite enough today. I’m going to get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.”
He turned to walk away and just before he fell out of ear shot you called to him. “Hey Astarion,” he looked back over his shoulder at you, “I love that you could come and talk to me about this.”
He huffed, but you could see the corners of his mouth struggling to keep down. “Oh shut up.”
#;ask and ye shall receive (request answers)#astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#astarion bg3#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate#tav#baldur's gate#baldurs gate imagine#baldurs gate scenarios#bg3 imagine#bg3 scenarios
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taken - coriolanus snow
summary - you drank a little and the next thing you know is that you wake up dazed and confused, captured and handcuffed by none other than coriolanus snow. the peacekeeper who was ready to claim you now.
warnings - 18+, NON-CON, stalking/abduction, degradation, victim blaming, smut.
word count - 3,132
a/n - okay this is pure filth. i was just thinking of peacekeeper coryo and just how rough and unhinged he is and yeah <3 this is my second fic so i am very sorry if its bad and if there’s any errors. but anyways enjoy <3
your eyes fluttered open tiredly as a overwhelming pounding took over your head. you blinked a few times, brows furrowing as you still saw black. as you regained consciousness, you felt the sensation of a tight fabric wrapped across your eyes. a confused sound left your lips as you attempted to touch your face but you whimpered out as your wrists clanged, feeling tight as you realised that they were tied too.
what the fuck?
you roughly yanked your arms away, attempting to free your wrists and groaned out loud as the repetitive clanging sound filled your ears, growing more aggressive and aggressive as you tried to pull the cuffs away from whatever pole they were attached too. panicked breaths left your lips as you grew hot. your head pounded as tears filled your visionless eyes as you desperately tried to piece together what had led you here. you couldn’t remember anything prior to this.
you flailed your arms again, tears streaming down your face as you began to sob out for help, and the pounding in your heart intensified as you felt the sound of heavy footsteps walking towards you.
“please help!” you exclaimed out before flinching as you felt a touch, pulling off your blindfold to reveal what was in front of you.
your eyes squinted, you tried to blink away your tears to clear your vision as you furrowed your brows in an attempt to make out the figure in front of you.
your heart dropped.
standing firm with a smug grin on his face, a peacekeeper you had seen around a few times was stood ahead of you.
coriolanus snow.
“what?” you whispered out as you tried to make sense. you were unnerved by the glint in his cold orbs. you couldn’t make out what it was and you felt sick.
“please help me.” you croaked out with a pleading look to him. he was a peacekeeper. he was here to help you, right? to help you make sense of this situation? to save you?
it was a peacekeepers job to keep people safe. to keep things in order. he would help you figure how you got into this mess and who put you into it.
he simply raised a brow, an amused look on his face as he dropped the blindfold from his hands to the floor.
“you want me to help you.” he drawled out, his eyes taking you in, in a way that had the goosebumps on your skin sticking up. he relished in the sight of the way that your dress had been riding up from your aggressive movements, something you hadn’t really noticed until you saw how his gaze was locked onto your bare thighs.
you felt slightly embarrassed, but that wasn’t important right now. you needed his help. you desperately nodded to him, a whimper leaving your lips that had his pants tightening.
coriolanus snow. him and sejanus were the two peacekeepers that you felt more comfortable with being around. whilst you didn’t exactly know them, you knew that they were more respectful and politer than their peers, from all your interactions you had with them in passing, sejanus in particular. he would always offer a warm smile and even offer to walk you home in the evening from your shift at the bakery, something you’d always politely decline as you’d make your way back to the comfort of your home.
but coriolanus? he seemed respectful and polite too, however he was more reserved than his friend. you didn’t really understand what it was, but whatever it was, you didn’t bother dwelling. you didn’t really know him and that was that. now it was time for you to.
“please. i-i don’t know why i’m here. i don’t know what happened i don’t remember.” you rushed out as more tears streamed down your face as you tugged at your arms again, the clanking sound filling up the room.
“you’re here.” he spoke, taking a step towards as he unbuckled his belt.
“for me.” he made his way to the bed you were laid out on, sitting down as his strong hands pushed your legs apart , gripping them as you instinctively tried to close them, panicking more.
“to use you.” he finished out as you let out a cry, unsure on what he was even doing as his hands roughly made their way up to your inner thighs as you squirmed your body, crying out. you felt his digits wrap around the waistband of your panties as he pulled them down and off your legs whilst you tried to thrash them.
a loud slap echoed throughout the room, and you whimpered through your tears as your blurry vision made out some redness onto your thigh.
you couldn’t even process his words, only the act of him pulling down your panties. your head throbbed and fear travelled down to your stomach as your scared doe eyes looked up at him.
“p-please! i don’t understand.” you sobbed out, the sight of him taking off his trousers and boxers making the pit of dread in your body even bigger, your eyes widening as he became bare. you didn’t want to face it.
your face reddened and you scrunched your eyes shut. you had never seen that before. you had never seen a man like that before. it felt shameful to open your eyes, despite the situation you were put in.
you had heard of sleazy peacekeepers harassing some of the girls in the district, taking advantage of them after they drunk a little too much at the hob, but you had never ever expected to be tied up, almost hyperventilating as coriolanus snow stood in front of you in all his glory.
you didn’t know how he could rape you. you didn’t know if he could fit. you had never done this before. your heart rate erupted as your sobs filled the room.
he simply chuckled as you closed your eyes, enjoying your naivety. it had the blood rushing to the head of his cock, how devastated you were in front of him. how naive and stupid you were. a part of him wanted to slap you, to teach you a lesson.
didn’t you know that silly little girls weren’t supposed to drink moonshine then stumble back home all on their own?
you should be grateful, he thought. that he had you here and not any of the other perverted peacekeepers. his breathing became heavy as he grew angry at the thought of anyone else having you like this.
you were lucky.
coriolanus snow knew from the moments his blues had locked onto you, that you’d be his. he first had seen you at the hanging tree, your head lowered in the crowd as you looked away, tears brimming in your eyes as you cringed at the sound of the mockingjays echoing screams. he lazily followed you from a distance with sejanus as they patrolled, thankfully in the direction you were heading in.
he knew where your home was and had slowly began to learn the routes you’d take and things you’d do on the daily. he was captivated by you. your face full of life and summers generosity blessing your skin as he adored the flush and freckles that the sun would bring you. he never would talk to you though. he had a few interactions here and there, simply casual. he couldn’t imagine making you his without first taking you.
without claiming you. without showing you his power. to teach you. you needed to be taught. he needed to show you how dangerous he was. how he’d do anything for you. he needed to take you first, so it would be engraved in your mind forever. something you could never forget.
so it was a stain on a pretty dress of yours that you could never get out.
that way, your thoughts would always belong to him. your mind belonged to him. every part of you belonged to him. he owned you.
he was on the bed now and your eyes flashed open at the feeling of the bed sinking as he climbed over you. you kicked and he instantly gripped down onto your thighs so tightly that you hissed, an amused chuckle leaving his throat.
“c’mon doll. gotta do better than that to stop me.”
you lifted your leg up aggressively out of his grip to kick at him and he simply let out a low whistle, his firm hand pulling your leg down again and now apart.
“don’t make me ruin that pretty face.” he spoke out sternly, his warning sending you shivers as he roughly pulled up your dress even higher so it was bunched up around your hips, exposing your bare pussy.
you blushed brightly, embarrassed. nobody had seen your body like this before and quick breaths escaped your chest as you sunk in what was going to happen, not daring to fight in fear of him hurting you. well, hurting you more.
you never knew he’d be capable of this.
his eyes softened as they glanced up at you again, sighing out as he moved his hand to cup your face.
“shhh. shh. hey don’t cry? okay baby? poor baby.”
his voice feigned sympathy and you couldn’t help but sniffle stupidly as he reassured you.
“please.” you croaked out again.
a wicked grin grew on his lips as one hand stayed stroking your cheek, and the other made its way down to your bare pussy, beginning to gently rub at it as he cooed into your ear.
“shhh. fuck your pussy is wet. you want this baby i know you do.” he tried to speak softly yet there was a hint of amusement in his voice, pride swelling in his chest at the feeling of your wet folds.
you felt shame. little whimpers left your lips as you shook your head, trying to ignore the sensation growing down there in your most intimate parts, but as his fingers began to rub at your small clit, you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips.
his fingers massaged your bundle of nerves faster as involuntary whimper left your mouth that had him sure that his precum dribbling down the tip of his cock.
he laughed out loud, tutting at you as he shook his head, his fingers slowing down as he looked at you with furrowed brows.
“fuck. you really are a slut, huh?”
his fingers resumed their invasion on your most intimate spot. you felt disgusted in yourself and didn’t want to admit it, but the way he rubbed at your clit brought you pleasure in ways that you could never replicate in your own bedroom at night when you’d sneak your hand under the covers and under your nightgown.
he leaned down more to roughly lick at your tears, groaning against your cheek as he did, relishing in the way your slick was coating his long fingers and the sounds you were making. your body was betraying you, it was cruel and it made him harder than he had ever been.
“no no no! please don’t!” you spoke, your voice becoming a pitch higher. you needed him to stop. your climax was approaching and the rush of pleasure alongside with your shame was sitting together in your stomach too disgustingly perfect.
“you want this. you wanted this. look at you. pathetic little girl. you knew what would happen if you walked alone drunk late at night. fuckin stupid baby.”
his words had you shaking your head as you yanked your arms in attempt to get the handcuffs off, but you couldn’t help but stop the arousal flooding from your pussy as a wretched sob left your mouth. little pants increasing in pitch quickly left your soft lips as your faced scrunched up, contorting in pleasure as tears leaked down your face, shaking your head as if that would even help.
as if that would stop you from cumming all over his fingers.
your body shook as you threw your head back, a loud sob leaving your lips as your high hit. your eyes fluttered as pleasure engulfed you, your legs thrashing now as if you could reverse your orgasm hitting you, but you couldn’t. your body shook and coriolanus instantly pumped his hard cock a few times before intruding in your untouched hole, your eyes widening as you were still processing your orgasm, and now the tight feeling of his large member entering your little hole.
you began to thrash your legs, head shaking as the pain of his intrusion in your virgin hole clashed with the high of your orgasm.
“n-no! no!”
coriolanus hissed at how tight you were around him, his long member welcoming the feeling of the warmth of your wet hole. you were wet, but it was nowhere near enough to help the largeness of coriolanus’s cock beginning to ruin you.
he slid himself fully in, ignoring your protests as he simply chuckled down at you, groaning at the feeling of you wrapped around him.
“so fuckin tight. gonna pound your little pussy. gonna ruin you.”
the river that ran down your face didn’t stop streaming. you didn’t know how you were capable of all these tears, but the stinging sensation that filled you as his long cock stretched you out had kept your waterworks going.
the blonde bit down on his lips as he furrowed his brows, slowly pulling out and letting out a low groan as he witnessed a bit of red on his cock.
you were tainted now.
by him.
he slid back in, ignoring your protests as he created a rhythm, a grin growing on his face as it became easier and easier to thrust into you, your body beginning to betray you as you became wet enough to take him.
a loud whine escaped your lips as his cock hit a special spot in you that felt electric, your eyes fluttering at the unknown feeling.
you whined again, feeling your body betray yourself as a part of you wanted more of that sensation.
coriolanus would always give you what you wanted.
his pace became brutal once he noticed the way your eyes fluttered at him hitting your g spot, so he began to pound you, gripping your face tightly as the sound of your whimpers filled the room alongside with the sound of his balls slapping against your ass.
he laughed out, his fiery blues locking down onto your teary orbs.
“can’t even rape a little whore like you. you like it too much. you want this, don’t ya?”
you shook your head roughly, but truth be told, you couldn’t even think right. your mind was hazy as pleasure shot through your body. all you could focus on was the way coriolanus’s cock was so easily pounding your little pussy, the lewd sounds growing louder as your slick coated him.
his hands aggressively pulled at the neckline of your dress, ripping it open to reveal your bare tits as he roughly tweaked your nipples. your face was flushed red as you whined at the sudden sting.
his face was damp too as he continued his relentless assault, his fingers going down to your little button as he rubbed it fast.
you gasped out, lifting your hips and throwing your head back at the overwhelming sensations he was giving you.
“gonna cum baby? cum for me. knew you’d be the perfect whore for me.” he hissed out as he felt his own high coming too. you let out a wretched sob as he hit your special spot again and as he rubbed your clit, something in you exploded and your vision blurred.
you looked so pathetic. it was almost disgusting. the way you whined out loudly as tears spilled out your eyes, your eyes fluttering dumbly as hot pleasure seeped through your veins and ripped through your stomach. wetness coated his cock as he moaned out loudly before spilling his hot cum into your weeping pussy.
you clenched tight around him and he hissed as he groped at your tits, spilling himself in you as he rode out his high with you, pleasure engulfing him as he leaned down to roughly capture your lips into a sloppy passionate kiss. the feeling of his hot cum pouring into you had you whining as you could barely respond to his kiss, your mind spinning as it stopped working.
he pulled away after a few moments and you gasped out for air as you closed your eyes in an attempt to stop your blurry vision.
coriolanus groaned and sucked down on your jaw, littering kisses along it as he then moved down to your neck, smiling against it at the sound of your quick breaths and the way your chest moved up and down.
he pulled out, creating a mental picture of your blood and slick coated all over his cock, and the way his cum dribbled out of your little pussy so perfectly. he’d revisit this memory in his head a million times over. he knew it.
“fuck.” he whispered out as he slipped two fingers back into you, pushing his cum deeper into your hole.
“fucked you dumb didn’t i baby? knew you’d want this. such a pathetic little girl.”
his tone was condescending and disgustingly sweet. you could do nothing but whine out. you felt disgusted in yourself. how could you have done that? how could you have came around his cock?
he leaned down to kiss your hot forehead.
“be grateful it was me, okay?”
he then let out a heavy breath as he left the bed and the room. you took in his words as you dumbly gazed at the lamp illuminating the room.
it was better that it was him, right?
a sob left your lips. of course it wasn’t better. but maybe he wouldn’t have targeted you if he didn’t know how easily you’d give in. how easily your body had betrayed you. didn’t that mean you wanted it? you were lucky that it was him who found you drunk, right? you cringed at the thought of the other peacekeepers. maybe it was good that it was coriolanus, rather than the rough crude men he had worked with.
but wasn’t he that? but wasn’t he worse? his power was a toxin that had now flown through your veins, something addictive that he knew he could control. at least he could give you what your body wanted.
you sniffled, silently cursing yourself. you didn’t even know what you were thinking. you weren’t thinking straight. your body throbbed and your arms ached. everything ached. you wanted to sink and drown. to never reappear again. your entire being needed it.
your eyes felt heavy as exhaustion immediately sank in, slowly fluttering shut as the last sight you saw was a familiar earring sat next to the lamp.
#coriolanus snow#coriolanus#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus smut#coriolanus fanfiction#billy the kid#billy the kid x reader#tom blyth smut#tom blyth#tom blyth x reader#billy the kid smut#smut#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes
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I’m going to preface this post by saying I don’t give a flying fuck about the hate I’m going to receive for the opinion I will be sharing and I won’t bother replying to any comments attacking me for it.
I fucking LOVE that Aemond killed Luke and I wish it wasn’t accidental. I wish Luke’s death was full on intentional, lol.
As a victim of bullying, I’ve been in situations where I have had to fend off 20+ kids as a kid myself. I’ve been verbally, physically, emotionally and psychologically assaulted as a child by other children, simply because I wanted, strived for and had good grades in school, actions that did not affect any of my classmates in the slightest. Therefore, I absolutely sympathise with Aemond, whose lack of dragon and later on his acquisition of one hurt no one (dragons belong to no one, you snooze you lose), yet he still got ridiculed and attacked for it. Yes, Aegon was also a bully and I hate him for it, but ultimately he grows out of it and supports his family, unlike the Strong bastards who remain bullies and assaulters. Oh, and Aemond tried to hit Jace with a rock because he attacked him first. Accusing him for standing up for himself is victim blaming. People who defend the Strong boys are bullies and that’s final.
No, I don’t give a rat’s ass that his attackers were children. Aemond was a child, too, and they ganked him 4v1. It’s crazy how some of y’all support physically attacking someone because you don’t agree with them. It was satisfying to see him kick their teeth in. Aemond and Luke are only 2 years apart, even if the actors’ appearances suggest otherwise. Your age does not excuse you being a fucking piece of shit. Children and teenagers appear on the news daily as rapists, killers, assaulters and all kind of criminals. That’s the reason juvie exists. Children should face the consequences of their actions.
“Are you excusing child murder?” if it is by the hand of the child they unapologetically disabled, fuck yeah. Besides, at the end of the day, Aemond dies, too, so you could say justice is served.
Still, I would have given the Strong boy the benefit of the doubt if it weren’t for this scene:
Lucerys is laughing at Aemond.
He is looking him in the eye and he is laughing at him. It’s been 6 fucking years. Lucerys is 17 (confirmed by the writers) and he feels no remorse for what he did. He was not punished for his action, so he has learned nothing.
He feels safe to mock Aemond, in the comfort and safety of his grandfather’s house, where his guard and stepdad can stop Aemond, whom he cannot beat on his own, from bashing his head against the wall. He feels safe to attack Aemond when he calls him Strong, knowing that other people will finish the fight he started but can’t win.
But what happens when no one is around to protect him from the consequences of his own actions? He shits himself. His face falls, he stumbles backwards and does not object to Aemond calling him Strong.
Not laughing now, huh, you little shit stain?
#hotd#hotd critical#pro team green#anti targ stans#anti team black#team green#team black#lucerys targaryen#prince lucerys#lucerys strong#lucerys velaryon#anti lucerys velaryon#pro aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen#prince aemond#anti rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#pro alicent hightower#alicent hightower#anti daemon targaryen#anti targ restoration#anti targaryen#anti bullying#asoiaf#asoif/got#house targaryen#house hightower
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TW: mentions of pretty much everything terrible. 🍇, trafficking, all of the above.
CLASS OF 09 RANT, FLIP SIDE SPOILERS
Ok not my usual post (I’ve posted twice ik but shush) but what the freak was the flip side??….. I was a huge fan of class of 09 + the re up but this game was so.. what’s the word….. dog shit? Even if we ignore half of the game being about the creators weird foot fetish, the sl@ve ending was so unnecessary. I feel like the only thing in that route that was worth writing was the issue in retail work and that wasn’t even the star focus, let alone side focus. The main plot of that route was the counselor having some weird illegal 🌽 warehouse, jecka finding it, and then him blackmailing her into human 🚙 🚙 ing?
The only ending I thought was necessary IF THAT was when Jecka found Nicole after the sue a side ending from re up. I thought it did a decent job at talking about sue a side victims, and how nobody really cares about them until it’s too late, And even then they only care for a week or so and then move on.
But the Jeffery dying one was the most out of place in my opinion (unfortunately it beats the foot ending.) For starters, Nicole was really out of character imo, like yeah she’s talked about wishing Jeffery was dead before, but her actually killing him just out of boredom is so odd. Her entire character is “I don’t put effort into anything unless it benefits me.” Killing Jeffrey was not only ALOT of effort, but she gained absolutely nothing. On top of that, saying it’s different than doing. Like how she talked about wishing her mom was dead, but then when she had a heart attack, she panicked. Plus, she PLANNED on making Jecka take some of the blame on his death, which she stated in past games she wouldn’t do. She literally never put Jecka in harms way, let alone jail if it didn’t also benefit them both. But this didn’t, she just did it to do it.
While we’re talking about Nicole being out of character, I feel it valid to mention her and Jeckas dad. For obvious (and gross) reasons, I won’t be detailing this, but her doing that to Jecka wasn’t fully out of character, but still odd. Like I mentioned earlier, Nicole never really did anything to spite Nicole, so I find it odd that she did in this game. You could blame it on “oh she’s a sociopath she doesn’t care.” But I don’t think that’s inherently true. Yeah, I guess it’s canon she’s a sociopath, but in that case they do a bad job at consistency. She’s shown in both games 1 and 2 caring about people she’s close with, whether it’s Jecka, her mom, or even Emily in one segment. So I find it completely random that she did this to Jecka over something as small as not sharing how she got into foot work. Jeckas done much worse stuff to Nicole, and Nicole just didn’t care because they were friends, or didn’t feel the need to put effort into doing something if she did care. So yeah, Nicole basically screwing Jeckas dad over something so little felt out of character.
One of the few things that bothered me the least, but I feel the need to mention was the foot work stuff. Not because it was out of character, i fear I’ve seen worse stuff mentioned in that game. But I guess the way it was portrayed as less of a story plot and more of the creator trying to live out his fantasies. He himself has stated Jeffrey is basically a self insert, so the whole being sexually obsessed with Jecka and her feet felt REALLY weird. Compared to Nicole’s my space favor thing, this just felt dirty. For comparison. Both Jecka and Nicole took up sex work to keep a home life or lackthereof, they both got money from strangers to do sexual things, and they both hated doing it. But why did Jeckas feel so much more personal and gross? Because the actual sex work was shown. In graphic detail. And all of Jeffrey’s (the creators) personal thoughts were stated with no backlash. Jeffery literally asked Jecka if she would 🍒feed him, and he was excused. When Nicole was asked the same hing from the same guy, he was insulted, yelled at, even told to leave.
So, creepy creator who’s obsessed with his barely legal characters, Jecka being sold to 🚙 🚙ing agaisnt her will, Jeffrey being murdered for no reason other than a giggle or two from his haters, Jecka accidentally killing Ari cause she was drunk driving, feet fan service, and fan service in general aside, the game is left only with the regular drug and alcohol abusage we always see. which in the game that was advertised as a new experience felt really stale and honestly left me bored. The ONE SINGULAR time during this game that I giggled was when the hat man appeared in the Ari route.
If you’ve fully ignored everything I said in this, maybe didn’t care, or didn’t even read it. Id just like to mention for everyone that the creator of this game said that anybody who disliked him, his games, his writing, or his humor were kid diddlers. In full seriousness. So yeah, no shock this game was bad, but I guess I shouldn’t have expected better from someone who thinks his haters are all child likers. All this being said, I enjoyed class of 09, and the re up. I’m hoping the anime episode that comes out soon with be a decent save. all of THAT being said, I don’t support this creator. I don’t support his actions, I think he’s a shitty person who’s made some shitty jokes, but made some not so shitty games that I decently enjoyed. I also haven’t bought them, so none of my money has gone towards him or his projects. I in NO WAY support him. Thanks for reading.
Feel free to comment down some of your own opinions if you feel so inclined, I’m interested in what everyone else thought of this game :))
#class of 09#class of 09 flipside#class of 09 the re up#co09 jecka#co09 nicole#co09 emily#co09#I’m just a tad upset because I was so hype for this game#and it was doo doo#like really bad#terrible imo compared to 1 and 2#but don’t tell SBN3 cause he’ll call me a kid liker#cause that’s how that works I guess#anyways#yeah feel free to ignore me#also don’t take me too seriously#I’m serious but I fear this is such a non issue#so yeah again don’t take me seriously#unless u want to#then that’s ur problem tho#class of 09 jeckole#jeckole#jeckole was so canon in this game tho hello???z#jecka literalky asked Nicole to date her#twice#and Nicole asked her the same thing last game#so its basically canon#haha#I’m delusional but happy#jeckole or emicole?
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I don’t think people realize how deep Vil’s character goes. Like-REALLY realize it.
I am an aspiring writer, and I would say I have quite the keen eye so when I see people talking bad about Vil—-I get confused.
YES he seems harsh and pushy. And YES he doesn’t seem to act very nice around people sometimes and he acts cocky 24/7.
But there’s a difference between cocky and knowing your worth. Vil KNOWS his worth. And he isn’t just going to hide it because someone says so. Or because it’s easier to be modest and quiet.
And it’s what Vil is constantly encouraging others to do: to not hide.
But Vil also knows how harsh the world is. An actor can be one of the most hated people in the world because they’re constantly being filmed and people jump on their mistakes like lions hunting a limping giraffe.
So he KNOWS that a glass heart will get someone nowhere.
It’s why he acts so tough. And it’s why he gives tough love to others. If he never teaches his dorm members how to survive they’ll roll over and get killed the moment they step onto the field.
Hence, his harsh actions with Epel.
When Epel cries and storms off, Vil doesn’t scold him for it. He tells Epel to show him if he can hold his ground with his words. And how beauty is a weapon to be wielded well.
Vil scolds Epel when he calls dancing ‘feminine’ or ‘girly’ because he knows that mindset will get the boy nowhere. Vil knows beauty isn’t limited only to the female spectrum and tries to get others to see it as well.
It’s why Vil is so annoyed when Epel skips his routine but also because having a routine and ACTUALLY sticking to it is the hardest thing for some people. And Vil talks about this. (When you log in for the day and you get a reward, Vil LITERALLY talks about how routine and effort is the hardest part about beauty) and if you do keep up the effort it gives rewards.
But Vil also knows not all effort is repaid kindly.
That’s the whole reason he overblotted, basically. He felt inferior because no one saw him put in as much effort as he himself did, and people have the gall to scold him for it. That, or they overlook him for something they thought was better(Neige).
When I write, I don’t EVER want to hear someone I TRUSTED say that my work was second best to another author or that my way of writing was wrong and I should have to change it. Because I put time and effort into writing and it’s something I’m proud of. I put my soul into my writing and it honestly really hurts when someone does the exact things I mentioned before. And I’m sure Vil felt the same way.
Not to mention Vil has been through rough things in his childhood. Other children wanted to hurt him because of his talent for acting just because he played a part in a series too well and they couldn’t tell the difference. Adults never thought he could be a hero because he was too perfect and self-confident. Adults wanted someone like Neige to be the hero because he looked pretty and acted kind. (Basic protagonist things)
And Vil hated it. He gained traumas at a young age because other people alienated him. He grew to hate Neige because in the people’s eyes he was perfect and beautiful. And he grew obsessed with beauty because he didn’t think he was good enough for the hero roll.
His overblot was overdue at this point. Sure his actions should not be immediately forgiven, just like all the other overblotters actions, but they’re NEVER entirely to blame.
Because all of the boys who overblot were victims too. Not just Yuu or the others. They were hurting themselves just as much as others were.
And I hate it when someone like Vil is seen as a overly harsh person. Or someone like Leona who is only seen as lazy. There is so much more to them than that.
Vil respects people.
Vil sees how hard the people around him work.
Vil tries his best to show others their beauty in his way.
Vil knows that gems need to be polished from rocks before they can be embedded into a crown. But the work put in to get the gems ready is rough and long. And sometimes it looks harsh.
Vil learned his lesson after his overblot. There is no need to hang it over his head like blackmail. The same goes for the other overblot characters.
Riddle learned his lesson.
Leona learned his lesson.
Azul learned his lesson.
Jamil learned his lesson.
Vil learned his lesson.
Idia and Ortho learned their lessons.
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#vil schoenheit#i love leona with my heart and omg seeing his being mischaracterized is like#Vil is so misunderstood it drives me insane#I think I rambled for way too long here
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When you forget there’s sin in Seven Deadly Sins
[I guess this could be treated as part two of my rant about Hell’s ruling class.]
The Seven Sins are the embodiment of their vice, in a modern setting, they will probably be seeking to indulge in harmful activities themselves since they are immortal and can’t face consequences and influence others into falling into dangerous lifestyles. I can even see a scenario when each of them tries to make propaganda through the internet with platforms like Instagram or TikTok, like Beelzebub promoting Bezzle Juice except that it’s purposely made to be extremely addictive and one shot of it gets you hooked forever.
We’re gonna start with Lucifer, the only angel of the Seven. He’s a dreamer quirky cutie patootie with dePwezIOn that just wanted to give humanity Fwee Wil🥺.
What were Lucifer’s plans/dreams for humankind in the first place? He was dismissed as a troublemaker, okay…? What portrayed him as such? He’s a socially awkward silly guy but honestly, that’s all there is to his character. But I won’t get too deep with these questions maybe we’ll get more answers in Hazbin. However, what I can ask is…
How did Lucifer manage to find himself so close to The Garden of Eden? If I’m making something important I ain’t letting the petulant kid get close to it because… you know he might ruin it.
Elder or not Lucifer is still a Seraphim, did he not know that giving Free Will to humans would mess up everything? Even if HE didn't know what about the others? Were the angels even aware of Evil as a whole? If yes, why didn't they warn Lucifer before giving him access to Eden? Like “Hey dude the glowing red Tree in the middle of the Garden is bad news don’t let the mortals near it.” was it that hard?
Can someone explain to me how is this the embodiment of Pride? I personally don't see anything prideful in his attitude at all. Pride is the belief that you don’t need God in your spiritual journey, in a worst-case scenario, you think yourself above him. In the Bible, Lucifer was too Proud to bow before mankind and tried to overthrow God which led to his banishment. But since Viv totally changed the story and forgot to add the Pride elements, there’s nothing justifying Lucifer’s title as Pride incarnate.
TW: Mention of sexual assault/rape and a brief mention of other sexual practices.
Following with Asmodeus, why is he like this? Don't get me wrong, I can understand why he isn't a fan of rape as a whole, rape is rarely, dare I say never, about sexual craving, it’s about control. Val doesn't rape Angel Dust, and his employees because he feels needy, he assaults them because he knows that’ll break them psychologically and physically which makes them vulnerable to manipulation. Sexual assault as a whole is never about lust.
It makes sense if we drop out of the fact that Lust isn’t just physical but religiously speaking just an intense craving for something, like power or control. Viv took the easy way and reduced it to a physical craving so Asmodeus could be anti-rape I can’t blame her for that, it’s her ✨interpretation.✨
So Asmodeus is Pro Concent and it kinda makes sense. Since he’s the Prince of Lust, he technically should have influence over the culture in the Lust Ring and other species like Succubus should at least be weirded out by innuendo of non-consensual sex.
Well, shit.
“OooOoooOOH But Tiz is Not Rape!”
Compare the succubus’ abilities to aphrodisiacs and it all makes sense. Increasing someone’s libido without their consent alone is sexual misconduct proceeding to have sex with them later is rape. And it’s not the only instance of succubus assaulting people.
[Context: Ep3 S1, Verosika’s crew basically made condescending comments on how Moxie was cute and how they wanted to kiss him despite his discomfort and the fact that he mentioned being married. They still eventually kissed him by force and it was treated as a joke. “I care about male victims.” Sure we believe you.]
So Asmodeus is a hypocrite for giving succubus and incubus a way to get to Earth while knowing they are raping as many humans as possible.
“D3mOn @re BAAAAAAD Pweple So |t makse sense.☝️🤓”
I know, I wouldn’t complain that much if Asmodeus wasn’t painted as this cutie patootie lovely doe who is so in love with his lovely cute good boy partner.
Talking about partners, why does the Prince, no… why does LUST INCARNATE have ONE partner? The dude’s sex drive should be higher than the Olympus Mons and you’re telling me he doesn’t have a harem at disposition and he’s FAITHFUL?!! No free relationship, no hookups, no polyamorous relationship, and no mention of orgies he organizes to test the efficiency of his toys! Hell, we’re talking about Lust shouldn’t he be more inclined to have exhibitionist behavior (In recent episodes Lust’s citizens were desensitized about voyeurism so showing a bit of skin shouldn't be a problem)? Or, I don’t know, the ability to change his appearance and sex to appeal to a larger audience. Maybe the smoke secreted by his fire can serve as an aphrodisiac he only uses to put his partners in the mood (With their consent if she’s so attached to that idea.)
Viv, with two shows whose humor is mostly based on sex you certainly lack representations in terms of positive sexual activities, every time sex is mentioned in both of her projects it’s either a joke or diabolized. I’ve seen teens on Wattpad and AO3 writing foul smut with sexual practice so taboo it’ll make you gasp out loud! Take an example! (This was obliviously a joke but seriously, smut’s writers scare me with their tags.)
This leads us to Beelzebub, she’s supposed to be…. an animal tamer? She did not give off this vibe at all, she’s a party girl at best, stop saying things on Twitter Viv, and show it in your shows!
Is there a reason for her to be so nice? What do you mean you don’t want Bliztø to lose himself in alcohol and sex, you’re all about overindulgence. If anything she should actively invite people who are mentally distressed as they’ll be more willing to drink excessively in a “forget my life’s issues” type of way. This could also explain why so many people in her parties are minorities, Hellhounds and Imps are treated like shit by Hell’s society so being invited to one of Queen Bee’s parties will be a great honor and a way for them to forget how difficult their life is.
“E3RmS Actoualli, Bee ite the Viiiibe! S0 ze kant let Peple b3 s@d or ze will be sad too. ☝️🤓”
Ah… okay, still don't explain why she can’t be a bitch about it. Since she “eats the vibe” and feels for her people she could be affected by Blizt's destructive behavior and be absolutely furious someone is ruining her parties for her! Then she could have gotten to Loona and been like “Look your dad doesn't have the vibe I’m looking for so get him out unless you wanna learn what happen to party pooper.” implying that she will most likely kill him (or eat him) and that this isn't the first time she offed someone for that. But I guess we can make another EMBODIMENT OF SINS a decent girl, it’s Viv ✨interpretation.✨
Going forward with Mammon, Viv humanized the Sins mentioned up there, so you would think Mammon would also get the humanization treatment?
“T3re Is NOO g0od s|de to GrEed!!!!! 😡”
Okay.
What’s Greed, it’s a selfish desire for more than what you already have (money, fame, etc...) The mention of selfishness doesn’t give Greed a positive connotation but you forgot…. This is Viv ✨interpretation✨ she reduced Lust to craving sexual intimacy just so she could make Asmodeus Pro Concent. Beelzebub doesn't need food she eats the Viiiiibe so she can’t let people self-destruct! Here she’ll politely ask you to go away because she caaaaaares. And Lucifer isn’t Prideful at all.
She removed part of the definition of each Sins so she could make them good people and you’re telling me that she couldn't do the same for Mammon?!
“But H0w can ze posibli m@ke Greed Pozitif?”
If you remove the selfish aspect, Greed is wanting something more. There’s nothing wrong with that, like wanting more recognition, and more money when you’re poor. Mammon could have been this guy who worked himself at the top and his money could have been the fruit of his hard work.
So why, of all the Sins that got turned down was Greed the only one who got the “I’m pure Evil” treatment?
The Seven Deadly Sins aren't supposed to be decent beings. They represent the worst of what humanity can do and they are embodied by equally bad entities. With a setup as shitty as the Hellaverse, where there are little to no rules, slavery, classism, and drugs available everywhere I was expecting them to be a tad bit vicious, purposely making the life of everyone worse for their benefit. Mammon could have been the reason for this capitalist society as it’s the perfect environment to develop other sins and his. Yet, Beelzebub is friendly to the Hellhounds while letting them be treated like lesser than how we treat dogs. There’s even rehabs in Hell, Verosika and Barbie were in the same one.
Asmodeus will sue you if you rape someone unless you’re a succubus. Ironically he said that he’s against love potions when that’s literally what the succubus do with their abilities, get you in the mood without you knowing.
Lucifer is the number one silly guy and he even has an attraction parc for others to have fun.
I know it’s Viv ✨ interpretation✨ but you have to make it make sense. You can’t have demons this high-ranked being nice portray them as good people in the narrative when they are responsible for Hell being so unfair to the lower class.
As for the other sins…
Traditionally speaking Wrath isn't just unjustified violence but hatred and a desire for revenge. I think that’s one of the main reasons Satan and Lucifer are treated as the same person as Lucifer is both prideful, hates God, and seeks revenge. I don't see how Viv’s Satan could be vengeful as they were no war with Heaven to begin with.
Envy isn’t wanting something that someone else has (it’s jealousy), it’s hating someone because they have something that you don’t. Which often results in trying to make the life of this person worse but that’s another thing. I didn't see anything about Sloth and judging by the Sloth Ring, Beelphagor is going to be medical-themed, we know he makes drugs and has a brand of anti-depressant named “Happy Pills.” (Nothing to do with the circus aesthetic she was going for.)
I don’t know if Viv really has a good grasp of what these Sin are traditionally as she claims but we have to see in future episodes. My guess is no.
#anti vivziepop#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#vivziepop critical#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critique#hazbin hotel critique#helluva boss critique#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critical
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Disguise It
repost! i was accidentally on priv when i posted this so… doing it again! this is crazy nsfw so be warned 🤗
pairing: spencer x fem!reader
preview:
You couldn’t tell you who moves in first, but suddenly his lips are on yours and your hands are tugging in his hair while his hold you to him. You can feel all of him and it doesn’t seem like it is possibly enough. All you know, is that he breaks away first.
“I don’t know how to handle myself around you. I shouldn’t be here. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Now it’s your turn to grab the man in front of you.
“Spencer, shut up.”
warnings: criminal minds typical violence, case descriptions, smut, light angst, enemies to lovers, unprotected sex w/ talk of contraceptives
please let me know if i missed anything!
Georgia is sweltering in the summer. The silk, sleeveless shirt you wore was starting to cling to the sweat on your back, and your body only heated further upon the prodding you were receiving from your fellow team member. It felt like everything you said was met with a rebuttal from Dr. Reid.
At this point, you’d been a part of the BAU for two years. While you were the youngest of the team, you felt the dozens of cases you helped to successfully close should have garnered you some respect in Spencer’s eyes, but, for whatever reason, he still saw you as an expendable part.
At first, his hostility seemed excusable. You had joined the team, and were struck upon meeting him. He was beautiful and incredibly smart and even more incredibly cold. Shortly after, Penelope explained you had replaced one of Reid’s closest friends, Alex. After some, admittedly nosy, probing, you found out just how integral Alex had been in helping him to grieve the loss of his girlfriend at the hands of an unsub. You were understanding and recognized that you shouldn’t expect the warmest greeting from the man. But over time, it seemed all of the vitriol he had for the undesirable aspects of the job was taken out on you. Every time someone was lost, or a suspect got away, you were there for him to blame. You got it, sure it was hurtful, but you got it.
However, two years later, you decidedly did not get it. Around everyone else, he glowed, and yet when it came to you he was all snide remarks. Still, you couldn’t help but be enamored by him. You saw how he cared so deeply for everyone on the team. How any time he could, he put others well being above his. Hell, he didn’t even like you, but somehow, anytime there was a dangerous situation he found a way to put himself between you and it. You hated how attracted to him you were and you hated that he made you the object of his anger.
This case was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Four women had been murdered in the span of four weeks in a small town in Georgia. All of them with their hair cut and dyed post-mortem. The team was called out three days ago, and aside from a profile that fit nearly half the men in town, you had nothing. With a day left before another victim was expected, Hotch called you all into a small office within the sheriffs department.
“All we have to go on currently is that our unsub is targeting young women he perceives as easy targets. All four victims visited bars the night they were abducted, and they were all found the next morning. We know he is going to strike again tonight. Right now, our only option is to station an officer in one of the bars that he is likely to hit.”
Hotch sighed before continuing, “Y/N, you fit his preferred age and build. We need it to be you.”
Before you could say anything, an all too familiar voice spoke from behind you.
“Hotch, all due respect, but she doesn’t have nearly enough experience undercover. It’s more likely she screw up this whole case than find our guy.”
“Reid, I don’t know-“
You cut Derek off before he could finish his sentence, “Are fucking serious?”
“It’s nothing personal, Y/N. You just don’t have the tactical and logistical skills something like this requires,” Reid says with the corner of his mouth turned up and you see red.
“What is your problem?”
“Y/N,” Derek says trying to settle you with a hand on your shoulder but you shrug him off.
“No. No, I’m so tired of this. Look Reid, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you don’t like me. I’m sorry that I took Alex’s place. I’m sorry I’m good at my job. I know it, everyone here knows it but for you.”
You could’ve stopped there, in fact you should’ve stopped there, but obviously you didn’t.
“You know what, most of all I’m sorry I wasn’t on the team sooner, because if I was someone would have had the sense to not let you work on Maeve’s case. Maybe then, she’d be here and you wouldn’t be so fucking bitter at the world.”
As soon as you said it you wished you could take it back, but you were already half way out the door with tears pooling in your eyes.
Morgan followed closely behind you, catching up and pulling you aside before you reached the front door of the department.
“Pretty girl,”
You cut him off again, “Look I know. I’ll apologize to everyone, but I can’t do this right now.”
“Kid, let me finish.”
You look at him and wipe your eyes, a signal to go on.
“You don’t owe anyone anything. Do I think you made the best choice back there? No. But, you have a right to be angry, just don’t let it blow your chance to prove him wrong.”
“Derek, I know he’s your best friend. You don’t have to comfort me, I’m a big girl.”
Derek pulled you into his chest, “He’s my friend but he’s also an idiot. You said what you needed to and he needed to get his ass whopped. Look, go get ready for tonight. Despite what Reid said the team needs you and those girls need you, do it for them.”
“I don’t really have a choice do I,” you say through a sniffle.
“Nope. So, get moving, sweetness.”
~
The embarrassment of breaking down in front of your team continued to rock you on your way to the motel down the street. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t stop replaying Spencer’s face over and over in your head. Regardless of his feelings toward you, you cared about him and you didn’t want to hurt him. It was just too much pressure built up over your time with the BAU and you snapped. If you could have helped it you would have.
You didn’t really have any bar attire in your go bag, and you knew that your unsub liked a certain look, so you took it upon yourself to stop by a shop. As quickly as possible, time was literally running out, you found a black mini-dress. The fabric was thick enough to cover the wire you were sure you’d be wearing, and it wasn’t expensive enough for you to feel guilty about purchasing it.
Throughout your time at the BAU, you had never worn anything like this. Lack of social life aside, anytime you went out with the team to celebrate a case or birthday, you wore business casual. Knowing they would all, namely Spencer, see you in something so small made you anxious. If you had chosen a different life, this would have been normal night-out attire for you, but you don’t even think you own a skirt that’s shorter than your knee.
The makeup you put on did nothing to ease your discomfort. It was messy and dark, just like the women he killed were wearing. You looked just like them.
On the drive back to the station, the knot in your stomach felt like it nearly tripled in size. You were scared you’d be reprimanded upon entering, while wearing club attire, like a 17 year old who broke her curfew. As you opened your car door you felt your hands shake. You put on you FBI jacket for modestly and walked in. A quick scan of the room showed no sign of Spencer, which took a bit of weight off of your shoulders. You didn’t think you could handle seeing the broken look in his eyes for a second time that day.
Once JJ saw you she walked over and said gently, “Y/N, are you alright? Are you sure you’re okay to do this?”
Admittedly, you had to force a smile as you replied, “Don’t worry about me.”
Too much was weighing on you. If you weren’t successful, you’d have another body on your conscience, coupled with using the most devastating event in Reid’s life against him. You felt like shit. Part of you knew he deserved it and the other wanted to make everything better for him. It was selfish and made you feel gross, but you had always secretly hoped that you could be the one to bring out the light in him if he ever let you in, but you threw away the slim chance of that when Maeve’s name left your lips.
After attempting to further assure JJ that you were okay, you walked back to the office you knew that you’d find Hotch in. You opened the door and found Spencer and him going over the geographical profile. When Spencer looked up and saw you, he excused himself quietly and fled the room. Hotch said nothing but waved you in.
He ignored the elephant in the room, choosing instead to explain the details of your assignment.
“Morgan, JJ, and Reid will all be stationed around the bar,” he said plainly, but you did not miss his scan of your face, searching for a reaction.
“If things escalate, if you are threatened at any point, they will be there. We’ll hear everything through the wire, and you’ll hear us.”
Still lacking the confidence you held earlier in the day, you reply with a meek “Yes sir,” and move to leave the office.
“Y/n,” he calls out to you before you reach the door. “Don’t let it get to you”
~
The bar feels hotter than it did outside, and the dress you’re wearing feels even smaller. As you wait to be approached, you fail to catch Reid’s eye. He’s been avoiding your gaze for the last hour you’d been there.
Right when you think it’s time to drawback and admit you weren’t the type he was looking for, you feel a rough hand run across your back.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing at a place like this all alone?”
You can smell his cigarette breath before you can see him, and you have to school your face before you reply.
“I’d say I was waiting for you, but I don’t know your name.” You say, forcing a giggle and slurring your words, and you swear you hear Reid scoffing in your ear.
“It’s Michael, and I think you know just what to say.”
You hear Penelope confirm the name in your ear. The man before you is stocky and looks close to 30. He moves the hand that was on your back to rest high on your thigh.
“Let me buy you a drink, doll.”
You know you have to test him. You have to do something to prove he’s your guy, so you move to stand with faux shaking legs.
“I really shouldn’t, I uh, have to get home.”
A sick smile ghosts over his face and he forces you to sit back down, his grip tightening even more on your leg.
“Fun is just startin’, don’t get cold feet on me now.”
You reach to pull his hand off you, “No, I really need to be home. I, My roommate will worry.”
One hand grabs the back of your neck as the other lifts higher on you leg.
“Darlin, don’t you know your manners?
Hotch tells you to hold off, asking you to push him a little farther before they step in, and as much as your shaking with this man’s hands on you and stale breath in your face, you follow orders.
“You’re hurting me,” you tell him through clenched teeth as his nails sink into your skin.
“I promise you I have a lot more planned, doll. Now be good girl and sit down, or you’re going to have a knife deep in that pretty little waist of yours.”
Before you can follow his directions, you hear a familiar voice say, “Not likely.”
While you were distracted by the man in front of you, Spencer had made his way to you from across the room, and was now pushing down the man onto the bar in front of you. His eyes were dark and he was rougher than you had ever seen him. Maybe unfortunately, JJ came up behind you and pulled you away from Spencer and your staring was cut short.
The man in the bar turned out to be Michael Edwin. He had a history of petty theft and assault charges from bar fights, but Penelope recovered sealed records from his adolescence, which showed two counts of aggravated sexual assault. His fiancé had recently left him, which served as a trigger for the recent murders.
Despite protests, you were checked out by EMS before you could go back to the motel. They wanted to ensure you weren’t drugged and that you didn’t have any puncture wounds from the nails on you neck or thigh. Hotch spoke to you, told you that you did a good job, but in all honesty you just wanted to go lay down in the shitty bed that was waiting for you, and sleep away the events of the night. Fate clearly had other plans.
You were stepping out of the shower when you heard a knock at the front door. You called out to whoever it was, you assumed JJ or Morgan, that you be there in a minute. Quickly, you threw on a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt, and let your hair down from the towel that had been holding it.
Opening the door to your room did not yield the results you expected. Standing in front of you, in the same clothes he’d been wearing at the bar, was Spencer. He looked tired and his hair was sticking up like he’d spent the last two hours running his hands through it. He asked to come in. You stepped aside but did not welcome him.
“What do you need Reid? I’m really not looking to fight, I just want to sleep.”
He looked over your frame once, and then shut the door behind him.
“You drive me crazy.”
You cut him off, with a quick “Get out.”
“No, look just please let me talk to you.” You wish the desperation in his voice didn’t draw you back in immediately.
He inches closer to you as you moved away from him and says softly, “You’re stubborn and you drive me crazy. But, you were right today-“
“Please stop,” you bite back, again cutting him off.
“Christ Y/n, just let me get through this.”
He almost waits for you to stop him again before continuing. “You make me feel fucking crazy, and I can’t think and I hate it. I hate what you do to me. I hate the way I feel around you.”
“Spencer, please just go. I don’t need you to tell me that I’m terrible at my job for a second time today. Try it again tomorrow.”
You move to open the door but he grabs you before you can reach it.
“Stop talking, Y/N.”
His hands are on your waist and you heartbeat is in your throat and you know you should push him off of you but you can’t make yourself do it. He’s closer to you than he’s ever been and you can smell his sweat. As much as you want to scream at him, and force him out of your room, you can’t help but feel a warmth pooling in between your thighs.
He is impossibly closer when he says, “Y/n, please.”
You couldn’t tell you who moves in first, but suddenly his lips are on yours and your hands are tugging in his hair while his hold you to him. You can feel all of him and it doesn’t seem like it is possibly enough. All you know, is that he breaks away first.
“I don’t know how to handle myself around you. I shouldn’t be here. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
Now it’s your turn to grab the man in front of you.
“Spencer, shut up.”
You pull him back to your lips, and you can feel the moment his resolve breaks. He is everywhere. His hands run up your waist and dip below you shirt, and at first it’s hesitant, but then he’s pushing you toward the mattress and pressing himself onto you.
“You think I don’t see the way you look at me every day?”
You try to reply, “You’re full of shit,” but your sentence dies off as his fingers brush over your nipple. You’re panting into his mouth and you feel him hard against you hip. Without thought, your hips roll into his, desperate for pleasure.
His hands are everywhere, and his mouth follows suit, trailing down your neck and biting hard into your shoulder. His hands become more confident but still shockingly gentle. You imagined he’d be rough and angry, almost punishing, but this is so much worse. He is caring and his lips pause over your heart beat, allowing you to feel the warmth they carry. Tears are forming in your eyes and you do your best to blink them back as his hand grip the edge of your shirt and pull it over your head.
He curses to himself when he sees you, and you feel goosebumps rise on your skin. His fingers roll over the buds on your chest and you cry out, “Spencer, please.”
You don’t even know what you’re asking him for, but he seems to understand. His fingers slip beneath the waist band of your shorts, finding your centre and rubbing gently over your clit.
“God you’re so fucking wet and I’ve barely even touched you.”
You’re lost in his touch, and the way his hands are relentless in their pursuit tells you that he is too. You never expected him to talk like this. Fantasized, sure, but actually having him right above you is almost too much to bear. It is too much, and you don’t understand it, and the tears that were forming earlier become to heavy to hold back. The gentle moans you had been letting pass through your lips turn into sobs and his fingers still as soon as he hears you.
His voice is shaken and small when he asks, “Y/n? What’s wrong, what did I do?”
His question rocks through you and makes the tears well up so much faster than they were before.
“I’m so sorry,” you choke out. “I’m so sorry. I was cruel to you and you’re being so gentle with me and I don’t understand. You, you don’t have to do this for me just because you feel bad.”
He pulls you into him in a way that is different than before, and tries to wipe away the tears you let spill.
“Y/n, that isn’t what this is. I- I should be apologizing to you. I’ve been so terrible to you and you’ve been nothing but kind.”
You scoff, thinking back to earlier in the day, and try to push him away but he holds you closer and forces you to look at him.
“You were right, Y/n. I’ve been so scared of losing more people since Maeve, and when you joined the team it was clear how wonderful you were from the second you walked in. You’re so good and so intelligent, Y/n. I was fucking terrified of how drawn to you I was, so I pushed you away and I was too dumb to realize it was hurting you until today.”
His lips find your forehead, ghosting a kiss over it before continuing, “I’ve spent the last two years failing miserably at not forming an attachment to you, and I hurt you. Please, let me show you that I care.”
You know that you should be mad at him, but you’ve never been able to stay angry at the man in front of you. So, instead of trying to fight the feelings you both had been trying to for years, you let him in.
Your lips find his for the second time that night, and this time you each won’t let the other run off. His hands travel down your body again as he whispers sweet nothings in you ear and pulls your shorts off of you. When he reconnects with your heat, the sensation feels so much greater than before. You push yourself into his hand, and gasp when his fingers find their way inside you. Their pace is languid and exploratory as he curls himself inside of you, finding a spot that makes you feel like you’re on fire.
His lips that were exploring the expanse of your chest find their way back up to yours, and it gives you the courage to press your hand to the tent of his pants. Your action makes him still momentarily but then he presses more firmly into you.
He breaks away from you and says “You feel so good,” but isn’t enough. You whine into his mouth and push your hands to try and undo the buttons of his shirt. He breathes out a laugh and helps you guide it off of him. Still, you’re nothing if not greedy and you want more, so your hands move from his chest to his belt, and suddenly he is bare to you.
As you take him in, you feel your mouth fall open, and you can’t help but reach out to touch him and whisper, “You’re so big.”
This action decidedly pushes him over the edge as a groan falls from his lips and his hands resume their previous mission at a much faster pace. You can feel the pit forming in your stomach as he reduces you to incomprehensible babble and you both know you’re close. His thumb finds your clit and you feel yourself diving over the edge as your orgasm finds you. He nurses you through it, drawing the feeling out, before removing his fingers.
“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.”
You’re overcome with affection for the man above you, and you feel an incredible need to express it, but you can’t find the words. Instead, you do your best to flip him and lower yourself down his body. He watches you in awe, which almost surprises you because how could he think you wouldn’t want him in every possible way.
Once you’ve kissed your way down his chest and over his stomach, you move to put him in your mouth.
He stops you before you can, and your heart drops, scared that the illusion has shattered and he has decided he no longer wants you.
He remedies your fears quickly though when he says, “Y/n, you don’t have to.”
“I want to. I really want to, Spence. I- I want you.”
You swear you see love in his eyes, but push the thought aside and take him in your mouth.
You savor the feeling of taking him in, the way he fills your mouth and touches the back of your throat. You can’t fit him in his entirety and your hand has to pick up the slack, which seems to drive him crazy. Still, something in you wants to give him full control over you. So, when you come up for air, you take his hand and guide it to the back of your head, and genius that he is, he takes the hint. He pushes himself deeper down your throat as his hands tangle in your hair. The rhythm he build is perfect.
“You’re so fucking good, baby.”
The pet name makes your thighs press together, desperate for another release. His mouth is growing filthier by the minute.
“Fuck, Y/n. You like having my cock down you throat don’t you? Just so desperate to please, aren’t you?”
You moan around him before pulling off, feeling needier than you think you ever have before. As much as you want to make him come with your mouth, you need him inside you.
“Spencer, I need more.”
He laughs a little and says, “You’ve got to use your words, Y/n. Tell me what you want.”
The thought of saying it feels more embarrassing than anything you’ve done so far, but your desire outweighs it and you tell him, “I want you inside.”
“There you go, baby. Want me to fuck you, huh?”
You know he isn’t really asking, but you can’t stop yourself from nodding regardless.
Before going any further he asks, “Do you have a condom?”
“I don’t think so. I have an IUD and I’m clean. I trust you, but if you want to stop I get it.”
Without responding, he’s flipped you over and is now holding himself over you once again. For a second, he just looks down at you, but a small ‘please’ falling from your lips is enough to break his daze. He runs his hands down your stomach, grazing over your centre, before grabbing himself and lining up with you. The moment he starts to push himself in, you feel so full you might cry.
Your body is white hot, a feeling you haven’t experienced in any of your other sexual encounters. Hell, most of them haven’t made you come once, but with Reid you’re already bordering on a second orgasm just from him pushing into you. His pace is perfectly slow, and you can see his jaw clenched as he tries to restrain himself.
“I’m okay. You can go harder, I want you harder.”
Your words have the desired effect and you watch as he lets go. He’s everywhere and each stroke hits places that send you into a tailspin. When he rocks into you, his pelvis bushes over your clit perfectly.
“I’m gonna come, Spence. Fuck, fuck I’m coming.”
“God, I can fucking feel it, Y/n. You’re so fucking tight for me.”
If you had any shame left in you, you might be embarrassed at how quickly you came a second time, but all you can focus on is the rhythm of Spencer above you. You can feel his movements growing sloppier and you know that he’s close too.
“I’m gonna come, baby Where do you want it?”
You all but cry out, “Inside, Spencer. Please I want you inside.”
This pushes him over the edge and you can feel him pulse inside you. The sensation is almost enough to make you come again.
“Fuck, Y/n, where did that come from.”
You don’t respond and he seems to notice the dazed look in your eyes as he pulls out of you. Before you can get used to the emptiness, you feel his fingers trace your entrance.
“You want me to fuck my come back into you, huh? Make sure you’re really full?”
You nod, almost subconsciously, and he begins pushing his fingers into you at a relentless pace. You reach and heap his arm to center yourself, but it’s no use.
“Just one more, love. Let me show you how sorry I am.”
Your body is shaking and tears, different than before, well in your eyes and begin to break free.
“Such a pretty, filthy girl. Let go for me, baby. Can you do that? Can you come for me?”
You’ve always been one to please, and you feel the ball of tension in your stomach break free. Everything is white and the only thing you can do is call out Spencer’s name.
“So fucking pretty, Y/n. Come back, baby. I want to see your eyes.”
You didn’t even realize they were closed, but when they open you’re greeted with Spencer’s face above you. He smiles down at you and moves to get off the bed, which causes a jolt of panic to course through you.
“Don’t leave,” you all but yell. “Please, just stay with me tonight.”
He quells all your worries with a sentence, “Just getting a towel to clean you up. I’m not going to leave you anytime soon.”
done! let me know what you think!
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