#I do think what has kept their numbers down is people who genuinely think they broke up like 10 years ago

[brutal-out-here]

You know I’ll always be surprised that The Vamps are not more popular. Like they have a song with Demi Lovato!! And Shawn Mendes!! And Sabrina Carpenter!! They even opened for Taylor on the Red tour for a few shows!! And probably more situations that should have set them up that I’m forgetting!!

(also I’m aware Shawn and Sabrina weren’t popular at the time of these songs but it���s surprising newer fans of them never really went go listen to the songs in bigger numbers)

[chiyuuchu]

II. The plot twist of admiration <3 (2nd August 2024)

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Prompt! The class decides to make a bet with everyone writing down who they think y/n’s admirer is.

first part here!

Every story has two sides to it.

Bakugou Katsuki wasn't one to waste time on frivolous matters like romance. He had better things to do, like becoming the number one hero. But there was something about Y/N that made him act differently. Without really understanding why, he found himself wanting to make her smile, to see her happy. So, he started leaving gifts on her desk: flowers, sweets, her favorite drinks.

He watched from a distance, making sure no one noticed him. He didn't need the extra attention or the questions from his classmates. Plus, it was kind of fun seeing them guess who the secret admirer was.

“Maybe it’s Midoriya,” Mina said one day during lunch. Bakugou rolled his eyes. Of course, they'd think it was Deku. “He’s so attentive and always pays attention to what his friends like.”

Bakugou scoffed internally. Deku might be observant, but he wasn’t the one leaving the gifts. Besides, Bakugou knew exactly what Y/N liked because he paid attention, too. He wasn’t just some explosive hothead, no matter what people thought.

“I don’t know,” Tsuyu said thoughtfully. “It could be Kirishima. He seems like a romantic guy.”

Bakugou almost laughed out loud at that. Sure, Kirishima was his best friend, but he wasn’t the one sneaking around. And IcyHot? The guy was about as emotionally expressive as a block of ice. He was also certainly sure the bird brain was too kept to self to like someone.

As days went by, Bakugou continued to leave gifts. He saw Y/N's smile every time she found something new on her desk, and it made his heart swell in a way he didn’t quite understand. One evening, he went to the convenience store to get her favorite drink. When he returned to the dorms, he saw Y/N in the kitchen, looking frustrated.

“What’s got you all worked up?” he asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

“Someone must have taken my favorite drink. I was really looking forward to it.,” she sighed.

He scoffed, pulling the drink out of his plastic bag. “Here. I just bought a few. Don’t make such a fuss.” he said, tossing it to her. Before she could say anything. Bakugou just takes his leave with a huff. “Whatever. I’m outta here.”

When he reached his bedroom, he immediately covered his face. The heat which had rushed to his face earlier swallowed him whole. His heart was pounding.

The next day, he left another gift on her desk. This time, it was a box of her favorite pastries. He'd gone out of his way to get them from a bakery across town. Bakugou watched from a distance, smirking to himself as Y/N smiled.

During lunch, the girls were really pushing their theories about who it could be.

“It’s gotta be someone who’s been paying close attention,” Mina says, thinking maybe too hard. “Maybe it’s still Midoriya?”

“Or Kirishima,” Momo claimed. “What if the other day he said it wasn’t him was an act.”

“Or Todoroki,” Kirishima chuckled heartily. “He’s always so polite and thoughtful.”

“Or maybe Sero,” said Hagakure. “He could be into you, who knows.”

Bakugou couldn't help but roll his eyes again. It was almost laughable how off their guesses were. As Y/N's smile grew wider with each gift, he felt a strange sense of satisfaction. He wanted to be the one who made her happy, even if he had to do it from the shadows.

While Y/n slowly looks over and locks eyes with Bakugou, he couldn’t help but give her his genuine smile. A smile that was only for her.

Bakugou continued his secret gifting for another week, each time feeling a mix of pride and frustration. One evening, after another exhausting day of training, he was about to head back to his dorm room when he noticed Y/N sitting alone on the couch in the common area, looking contemplative. He hesitated for a moment, then decided to approach her.

"Hey," he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Y/N looked up, her face lighting up with a smile. "Hey, Bakugou."

He sat down next to her, unsure of what to say next. They sat in silence for a few moments before Y/N spoke again.

"You know," she began, her voice soft, "I've been getting these really sweet gifts lately. Flowers, sweets, drinks... It's been really nice."

Bakugou's heart pounded in his chest. He tried to keep his expression neutral. "Yeah? You figure out who it is yet?"

Y/N shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. "Not yet. But I think I have an idea."

Bakugou felt a lump form in his throat. He wanted to tell her, to admit that it was him, but the words seemed to stick. Before he could muster up the courage, Y/N turned to him, her eyes bright with curiosity.

"What about you, Bakugou? Have you ever done something like this for someone?"

He snorted, trying to deflect. "What, leave gifts and play secret admirer? Not my style."

Y/N laughed softly. "I didn't think so. But you never know. People can surprise you."

She definitely knows. He gulped internally.

Bakugou swallowed hard, feeling a surge of determination. "Yeah, well... maybe I have a few surprises up my sleeve."

Y/N tilted her head, studying him with an amused expression. "Is that so?"

Her phone began ringing. “Oh, I gotta take this call. Thanks for the chat, Bakugou.” She smiled and walked away.

Before Bakugou could respond, a loud crash came from the kitchen area, followed by Kirishima's voice shouting about a spilled pot.

As she walked away, Bakugou watched her go, feeling a strange mix of relief and disappointment. He knew he needed to find the right moment, but it was hard to say when that would be. He stood up, ready to head to his room, when Kirishima came rushing over, a huge grin on his face.

"Dude, guess what!" Kirishima exclaimed. "Everyone's trying to figure out who Y/N's secret admirer is. You gotta see this."

Bakugou rolled his eyes but followed Kirishima back to the Kitchen area, where a group of their classmates were gathered, excitedly discussing their theories.

"I'm telling you, it's got to be Todoroki," Hagakure was saying. "He's always so calm and collected. It fits."

"No way," Kaminari argued. "It's definitely Tokoyami. He's mysterious enough to pull this off."

“What the hell is everyone making a fuss about?” Bakugou grumbled.

“Oh! Hey man, we were just placing bets on who Y/n’s secret admirer could be.” Kaminari casually said. “My bets on Tokoyami.” He proudly claimed. And why exactly was he proud of his assumption?

“Well I think it’s Midoriya!” Mina folded her arms with an angry closed eyed pout.

Momo also chimed in. “I still think that it’s Kirishima and that he’s secretly deceiving us that it isn’t him.” Kirishima who was beside her folded his arms. “Hey! It isn’t me, you’ll lose your money for betting on it!” He, once again defended himself.

“What if it was a girl and we were deceived the entire time.” Jirou randomly put a a finger to her chin, looking up in thought. “Hmm.” She hummed in thought. Right after that, everyone did the same with putting their finger on their chins and humming in thought.

“I know! We should settle this bet by asking everyone to write down on this paper who they think it is. Winner takes all.” Kaminari smugly said, pulling a piece of paper out.

“Oh, you’re on pikachu!” Mina retorted.

Bakugou mentally wanted to facepalm. But then he thought about it. If he were to guess himself then wouldn’t he technically be the winner of the bet?

“Whatever, you losers do what you fucking want.” Bakugou said and walked back to his room. “Hey! Where you going? You need to bet too!” Kaminari exclaimed. “Yeah yeah, just give it to me tomorrow. I need to catch some fucking sleep.” Was the last thing Bakugou said before heading back to his room.

The next morning, the classroom was full with chatter during a break between lessons. Kaminari, ever the instigator, was bouncing around with a piece of paper and a pen.

"Alright, guys, everyone write down who you think Y/N's secret admirer is! Everyone is betting! Winner takes all!" he announced, waving the paper in the air.

Y/n just gave a confused expression before going back to her book.

One by one, the students scribbled down their guesses and passed the paper around. When it finally reached Bakugou, he glanced at the eager faces around him and scowled.

"I'll do it later," he muttered, snatching the paper and shoving it into his bag.

"Aw, come on, Bakugou!" Kaminari protested. "Just write it down real quick!"

Bakugou ignored him, standing up and heading out of the classroom as the bell rang, signaling the end of their break. Kaminari pouted but didn't push further, knowing better than to press Bakugou when he was in a mood.

Later that evening, Bakugou sat in his dorm room, the crumpled piece of paper lying on his desk. He sighed, unfolding it and smoothing it out to see the various guesses scrawled in different handwriting.

He couldn't help but scoff at some of the guesses.

Uraraka: "I bet it's Sero. He’s always pulling pranks but he's got a sweet side."

Todoroki: "Maybe it's Kirishima. He’s very straightforward."

Kirishima: "Nah, it's gotta be Midoriya. He's so considerate."

Midoriya: "My best guess would be Kirishima… He definitely seems like that type of guy."

Yaoyorozu: "I still think it's Kirishima."

Ashido: "I know it’s Midoriya."

Tsu: "I change my mind, I’m placing my bet on Kaminari."

Jirou: "I guess it might be Kaminari. He’s got a fun personality and is always trying to cheer everyone up."

Aoyama: "It could be Iida. Je sais cela!"

Sero: "Maybe it's Shoji. He's very attentive and protective."

Tokoyami: "I assume it might be Todoroki. He's very observant and quiet."

Hagakure: "My bet is still on Todoroki!"

Iida: "I believe it's Kaminari. He’s always energetic and caring."

Shoji: "It might be Iida."

Ojiro: "I think it could be Aoyama. He’s always trying to make everyone feel special."

Koda: "I think it’s Midoriya..."

Mineta: "It's definitely someone unexpected, maybe Jirou. She's got that vibe. And who knows? Girls on girls!"

Sato: "What if it's Mina? She's really unpredictable."

Kaminari: "I still think it's Tokoyami! Imagine that!"

Aizawa: "Bakugou Katsuki."

Even the teacher???

Bakugou paused at Aizawa’s guess, feeling a strange mix of annoyance and satisfaction.

"Idiots," he muttered to himself. "They have no idea."

Aggressively scribbling on the piece of paper, he carelessly folds it.

But as he lay in bed that night, his thoughts drifted to Y/N. He imagined the smile on her face when she received his gifts and how her eyes sparkled when she spoke about them. It gave him a strange sense of accomplishment that none of his training victories ever did.

The next day in class, Kaminari eagerly retrieved the paper from Bakugou and prepared to read the guesses. However, just as he was about to open it, everyone began to question how they would find out who the admirer really was.

"How are we actually gonna figure out who it is?" Midoriya asked, looking around the room.

Suddenly, Mina stood up and yelled, "Whoever the admirer is, you have to come clean now because we've all placed bets already, and I'm sure Y/N is interested."

Silence. Everyone was looking at each other, trying to see if the admirer would step up.

Bakugou gulped, feeling a surge of panic.

Then Hagakure made a suggestion. "Why don't we make it more fun? Y/N should write down on another piece of paper who she wants her admirer to be."

For some reason, Y/N agreed willingly. She took a piece of paper and began to write a name. Bakugou watched her, rethinking his life decisions. If he admitted his feelings now and wasn't the one she wanted, he would never live it down.

Y/N finished writing, folded the paper, and kept it to herself.

“Wait I have an idea!” Tsu said and whispered something into Mina’s ear.

"Alright then," Mina said with determination. "Everyone who is NOT the admirer, sit down."

Slowly, one by one, the students sat down until only Bakugou remained standing with his eyes shut tight.

The room filled with gasps and murmurs of confusion.

"Bakugou?!" Kaminari exclaimed, wide-eyed.

“KACCHAN??” Izuku exclaimed.

"No way," Kirishima muttered, shaking his head. "Bakugou, seriously?"

"I lost my bet!" Sero groaned, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Wait, Bakugou's the secret admirer?" Uraraka asked, her eyes darting between him and Y/N.

Jirou smirked. "Well, this just got interesting."

“I certainly did not expect this..” Momo’s voice sounded.

Some students complained about losing their bets, while others were simply shocked. Bakugou's heart pounded in his chest. After a moment of silence, he heard the sound of a paper unfolding.

More gasps filled the room.

"You can open your eyes, Bakugou," Y/N said softly.

Bakugou's heart sank. What if his name wasn't on the paper?

He opened his eyes and saw Y/N holding the paper.

Bakugou Katsuki

His heart soared when he saw his name written on it. A wave of relief and happiness washed over him as the class erupted in a mix of congratulations and disbelief. He had never been this terrified in his life, but it was all worth it.

“Very unexpected, I must say.” Iida said.

"Well, who would've thought?" Mina laughed, nudging Kirishima.

"Guess we all underestimated Bakugou," Tokoyami said with a rare smile.

"Congrats, man," Kirishima said, patting Bakugou on the back. "Took some real guts."

Bakugou, his face slightly flushed, just nodded, trying to maintain his usual tough demeanor. But inside, he was over the moon.

“Wait! It’s not over! Who won the bet?” Sero yelled, immediately grabbing everyone’s attention.

Kaminari hurriedly opens the paper.

Uraraka: "I bet it's Sero. He’s always pulling pranks but he's got a sweet side."

Todoroki: "Maybe it's Kirishima. He’s very straightforward."

Kirishima: "Nah, it's gotta be Midoriya. He's so considerate."

Midoriya: "My best guess would be Kirishima… He definitely seems like that type of guy."

Yaoyorozu: "I still think it's Kirishima."

Ashido: "I know it’s Midoriya."

Tsu: "I change my mind, I’m placing my bet on Kaminari."

Jirou: "I guess it might be Kaminari. He’s got a fun personality and is always trying to cheer everyone up."

Aoyama: "It could be Iida. Je sais cela!"

Sero: "Maybe it's Shoji. He's very attentive and protective."

Tokoyami: "I assume it might be Todoroki. He's very observant and quiet."

Hagakure: "My bet is still on Todoroki!"

Iida: "I believe it's Kaminari. He’s always energetic and caring."

Shoji: "It might be Iida."

Ojiro: "I think it could be Aoyama. He’s always trying to make everyone feel special."

Koda: "I think it’s Midoriya..."

Mineta: "It's definitely someone unexpected, maybe Jirou. She's got that vibe. And who knows? Girls on girls!"

Sato: "What if it's Mina? She's really unpredictable."

Kaminari: "I still think it's Tokoyami! Imagine that!"

Aizawa: "Bakugou Katsuki.”

Bakugou: "Bakugou Katsuki."

“Bakugou won? Isn’t that technically cheating..” Momo said with a concerned look.

“Technically that means I won. Now pay up.” Aizawa said from his sleeping bag.

“Ughhhhhhhhh.”

After the class settled down from the surprising outcome, Bakugou found a moment to approach Y/N. He was still trying to process the whirlwind of emotions from the earlier scene.

"Hey," he started, his voice gruff but softer than usual. "Can we talk?"

Y/N looked up and smiled. "Sure, Bakugou. What's up?"

He led her outside of the classroom, away from the curious gazes of their classmates. The tension between them was palpable, but Bakugou tried to ignore the nervous flutter in his chest.

"So, you actually picked me," he said, struggling to keep his usual confident tone. "Why?"

Y/N’s eyes softened as she looked at him. "Well, I've always noticed you’re not as rough as you seem. There’s a lot more to you that people don't see. I appreciate that you always seemed to care, even if you don’t show it."

Bakugou’s face flushed slightly, and he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Yeah, well, I didn’t think you’d ever actually like me. Not with how everyone talks about me."

Y/N shook her head, a playful smile on her lips. "You’re more than what people say, Bakugou. And I’m glad I got to know that."

Bakugou hesitated for a moment before stepping a bit closer. "So, what now? Now that everyone knows?"

Y/N's smile grew, and she looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye. "I think we should see where this goes. I’m happy with how things are turning out."

Bakugou’s usual scowl softened into a genuine smile, and he took a deep breath. "Yeah, me too."

They stood there for a moment, the noise of the classroom fading into the background as they enjoyed the rare, peaceful connection between them. It was the start of something new, and for once, Bakugou felt that he might just be ready to embrace it.

[arias-archive]

can you do a Lyra x grayson fic where Lyra gets body shamed online or in public by paparazzi and Grayson looses it???? And Lyra calms him down and it’s all fluffy??

a/n: YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN! LOVE ME SOME GRAYSONLYRA

warnings: body-shaming

description: number one rule of dating a famous guy: never read comments. but lyra has seen and heard enough that it barely affects her anymore, grayson, on the other hand, might go to jail for beating up said commenters

tig masterlist | masterlist

protective asshole (a graysonlyra fic)

The video must have been replayed several times now, the same criticising voice droning on from her phone speakers. Yet, her finger refused to move, hovering just a hairbreadth away from the screen.

Just a pathetic girl, encased in her boring little life, with nothing better to do. That’s what Lyra kept telling herself as she dragged the cursor back to rewatch the video, as if the opinions flung out would actually change.

If Lyra was being completely honest, it didn’t affect her as much as it should’ve. The video was awful, the words coming out of the girls mouth harsh and hateful, but somehow Lyra managed to keep it out. She wouldn’t allow herself to become ruffled by some trashy tart on social media. Besides, Lyra didn’t even know the girl enough to be offended. Truly. She was thinner, compared to Lyra’s accentuated curves. Growing up a dancer meant that Lyra maintained her healthy figure, which was continued through running. But her body wouldn't go any slimmer, and trust her, she had tried. She couldn’t help the genetics which shaped her to be the woman she is today.

So Lyra learned to embrace herself for who she truly was, not what she looked like. Sure, to some she had a body that screamed party to some people more than it showcased dancer, but why did that matter?

She was so engrossed in the short clip that she completely forgot her boyfriend who was lounging right beside her. And sure enough, his unforgiving icy-eyes pierced through her phone, silently seething at the video.

Snapping out of her daze, she scrolled past it, but not before Grayson spoke up. “What was her username?” His tone was so cold, so menacing, Lyra almost flinched.

Instead, she sat up and snorted, shrugging lazily. “Don’t know, don’t really care.” She was proud of herself to find that she actually meant those words, not having to hide behind the bravado to bear to bullet wounds.

“Tell me it.” That was Grayson mad. Very mad. Nobody could do ‘very mad’ as well as Grayson Davenport Hawthorne after seeing someone insult his loved ones. Seriously. Talk about lethal.

“It doesn’t matter,” Lyra insisted with dismissive wave of her hand, as if swatting the very thought from existence.

That didn’t make Grayson forget it though. He simply raised a stubborn brow, silently daring her to dismiss him again. His hand clenched around his own phone, and she was certain he was plotting someone’s very tragic demise behind those eyes.

“Why do you need to know?” If he wanted to be stubborn, she could dish it right back. She has told him to leave it, but noooooo, he just couldn’t listen. Stupid asshole.

He was silent for a moment, jaw clenching and unclenching. “Nobody ever has the right to speak to you that way.” He swore under his breath, shaking his head. “Who do they think they are? I’ll sue them. I will destroy th-”

Lyra cut him off with a firm kiss, her warm breath dancing over his face. When she pulled back, she pried his death-grip fingers off his phone, interlocking her own fingers with his instead.

The kiss barely distracted him. If anything, he still looked ready to murder someone. Protective asshole.

“I don’t want you doing anything,” she told him quietly, face mere inches from his, “because I genuinely couldn’t care less about some idiot’s damn opinion.”

She took a deep breath, her hand squeezing his tighter, lending some of her patience. “They don’t know me, Grayson, so let them say what they want. This isn’t the first time, and you know it won’t be the last.”

She could still remember the utter shock she had felt the first time the media comment on her body. It was soon after her and Grayson’s relationship went public. Paparazzi shouted some idiotic insult about how she looked in the dress she was wearing. Lyra had never seen Grayson so volatile before. He has never, ever, lost his control like that. Normally, he was so unshakeable arrogant.

Anger was still etched onto his every sharp feature, making him appear like a statue carved from ice, cold and unflinching. She rubbed her thumb between the crease in his brows, smoothing it out. She let out another heavy sigh, manoeuvring her body so that she was laying on top of his, head tucked beneath his chin.

This relationship was still relatively new, and Grayson wasn’t used to being touchy with, well, anyone. So Lyra didn’t get offended when she felt him tense up beneath her, but she also didn’t pull away. The asshole was just going to have to get used to it.

It took him a moment before he dropped his phone onto the mattress, wrapping an arm around her loosely. The room was quiet, and a soft, peaceful quiet that was impossible to experience in their lives. It felt… nice.

“Thank you, though,” she whispered reluctantly, so he could drop the damn subject. “For wanting to protect me. But you know I don’t need it.” With her cheek pressed against his chest, she could hear the slightly unsteady patter of his heart. You wouldn’t be able to tell that from his face though.

“It shouldn’t be like this,” he muttered lowly, tracing circles on her back. “Being with me doesn’t merit that.” He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of her head, breathing her in. He blamed himself for this, as he did with everything else. No matter how many times she argued with him, he didn’t believe her. It wasn’t his fault.

Society loves to pick apart girls who date celebrities to make themselves feel worthier, as if that girl was the sole reason they weren’t the ones picked. It’s a shitty justification but it’s also true. Lyra made her peace with that.

The room was quiet again, the occasional rustle of sheets or soft sighs disturbing the peace. Grayson cleared his throat before he spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He sounded slightly hesitant to ask the question, and Lyra had never known him to hesitate on much.

She nodded against his shirt, sticking up her thumb for good measure. “Yes. I mean it. I’m really not bothered.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to contact her. I’m sure I can get the message across withou-”

“Grayson.”

[hyewka]

I was reading soobin's only voice live translations and when he read the comments, one of them said "come on soobin don't be shy, it's okay come closer to the microphone" and he answered saying "um no, if I come closer I might sound like a pervert so I'll pass" and i was like 😩😩

I find it very interesting the way he has said the word pervert referring to himself before, not just in that live, he knows HE KNOWS HE IS ONE

Ok that's all lol I'm not that good on expressing my feelings in English bc it's not my first language but i tried😩

btw good night!! hope u are okay 🥰

- 🦇 anon

warnings; perv!soobin, panty stealing, masturbation, breeding kink because...duh LOL, mentions of hentai, humping a body pillow, not proofread

a/n; he has no filter lol but soobin as a perv is sooo real might as well be a headcanon 😂

soobin who often kept to himself, his shy reserved nature not doing much but push people away from his circle. he's okay with it, came to terms with the fact that it was hard for him to reach out to others over the bare minimum, and therefore he'll naturally stay a loner.

so when you first tried getting close to him, starting small talk just because you sat by him, he expected the usual. most people gave up trying after his third unintentional curt response but you... didn't. not in the bombarding questions way but more like the next day, the same good morning, with a genuine chirpy tone. like you actually had a good morning.

you were the total opposite of soobin, it was proven time and time again- he brought black coffee to lectures, you always always brought caramel frappes- soobin was undoubtedly awkward, and then it felt like being charming came easily to you, like you were genetically coded to have people swarm around you like a bee with a flower's nectar. soobin being no exception.

soobin who found that a good morning from you seemed to always assure him a good mood. not long before he succumbed to finally asking for your number, which you happily, though a little caught off guard, provided him with. who knew that he would've been the first to make an advancement?

you got close very quickly- to you, soobin was a sweet guy who just had such a pure image, the freshness of his personality was endearing, so you liked being around him.

all intentions were pure, or at least that was what soobin chose to believe at first. the first time he thought of you as more than a friend was when you begged him to go to the frat party on thursday, oh just how fun it'd be to get trashed- all your reasons were unconvincing, but you were unrelenting, so he ended up going, meeting you at the kitchen where you texted him to find you. through what felt like a million sweaty drunks he had to maneuver, he finally found you.

soobin whose relieved instinct is to shout out your name over the music quickly die down, instead, your name coming out as a small whisper by the last syllable, his eyes honed on your dress, horny bunny can't help but look down at your cleavage, cupped and full in your bodycon, gulping at the way they looked so plush. it got even worse when you spotted him, excitedly waving him over to you- then worse when as much as he tried tuning into your ranting, people eventually crowded the kitchen, meaning you had to get closer, and closer, and then finally, he couldn't help his eyes trailing down.

poor boy who ends up sporting a boner, so anxious as he begs you to let him go home, you worriedly thinking he got too overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people, so you usher him to go, patting his back as you tell him to call you when he gets home.

he never ends up doing that, too ashamed that the moment he got home, he had his back pressed his door, too impatient, bunny's dick so hard it's painful, frantic pace on his shaft as he heaves, shut eyes picturing your cleavage once more, then the slight bounce he caught when you walked over to get another drink, oh what he'd do to see them bare, just a little peek seeing you undress-- his hand already soiled with his warm seed,, the fastest he came.

he hoped that this was a one time thing, how awkward would it be talking to you if he jerked off to you every now and then? yeah, he swore the reason he got so worked up that day was because of the drinks he had.

you often stuck to a specific wardrobe anyway so he wasn't counting on this happening again.

soobin who's right for the first few weeks, until he casually checks his feed, seeing that you posted a picture on instagram-- you had a sinister red lipstick, low cut black top, seated in a dining area, posing with the prettiest smile.. and oh god, he's reaching down his pants again, hands so hesitant and slow as they finally hold his dick, phone on the other hand, swiping left for the last slide-- a selfie.

all of a sudden, he's quick, pulling out his swollen dick in a swift motion, heavy breathing as he stared down at the picture, jerking off like crazy, your tits practically out on display-- who could blame him? pervy soobin who ends up spurting his slimy cum all over his phone screen, a strained final exhale, finally feeling the guilt pool in his chest.

soobin who now replaces the content that gets him off, often of anime girls dumbly bouncing on cock, getting their tummys filled with cum, over and over again-- dirty sight that he gives up just for an innocent selfie you took with soobin a few hours ago at the usual frozen yogurt place you hung at.

soobin who's under the protection of his sheets, his room pitch black as he bites down painfully on his lip, frantic breathing, jerking his poor dick to overstimulation at the picture on his phone screen-- it didn't even have to be of your cleavage anymore, just your face did it for him, eyes with a flutter rolling to the back of his head just at the thought of fucking your mouth.

pervy soobin who convinces himself that this was normal, he's sure tons of guys with female friends have done this, he wasn't weird. it was in his nature, right?

soobin who finally gets invited over at your flat because you were tired of always going out, preferring to stay in this time with some pizza. all is well, no pervy thoughts seeping into his rotten brain, until he asks to go to the bathroom.

"oh! you'll find it, it's like to the left-- right of you. it'll be to the right of you." you had your black frames, similar to soobin's, blanket over your legs with a pizza slice on your hand-- he knew you weren't going to abandon the comfort to show him around.

"don't take too long!" he hears you shout behind him, and he huffs out a laugh. you always seemed to get him smiling, for whatever reason.

soobin who mistakes the laundry room for the bathroom, opening it to spot the washing machine, and almost closing the door before he sees through the creak of the door the basket full of clothes. your clothes.

pervy soobin whose feet are still, staring at the abundance of clothes. his dick twitching in his pants, thinking of whether a pair of your underwear was buried in there, but then he immediately slaps himself out of it, shutting the door with a large bang. so flustered as he quickly tries to find the bathroom.

soobin who swears he has morals, who swears he'd never do it, he'll keep his dirty thoughts of you under his blankets at home, without having to raise suspicion.

he doesn't hold onto his set of morals for too long, too far gone at the thought of how you'd smell, how he'd feel to have your panties wrapped around his dick as he did his daily jerk off-- once those thoughts were in, his hands were less controlled.

when you told him that you might be late getting ready, he suggested to wait for you at your living room. which you naively didn't think of much, saying why not.

he didn't have ulterior motives, he swears. it doesn't matter, he ends up in front of your bedroom door, where you were changing, obviously locked, so his eyes trail to the sinful room.

he slowly turns the door's knob as to not cause any sound, seeing that the basket full of your clothes was still there. it's like treasure, dirty boy who's like a thief, anxiously rummaging through the basket, and finally, his hands grip onto a pink lace-- your underwear. there's a few, but he decides he can do with just one, you wouldn't know if he only took one.

hurriedly, he crumbles it in his big hands, getting up from his knees as he quickly stuffs it into his pockets. it's okay, it's just a one time thing.

his hands are sweaty when he gets home, the entire time he was hanging out with you, his hands stuffed in his pockets, holding onto your underwear in case you somehow spot it, or it falls out- both unlikely situations. but this was his first time doing this, the anxiety building up to the brim.

soobin who lives out his fantasy, the irony of him thanking god for such a sinful wish- he had hoped the laundry basket were dirty clothes waiting to be put in the machine.

the pair he picked up was in fact unwashed, just a deep sniff and he smelled you, such a scent that immediately makes him grow a boner, legs spread apart on his couch as he continues taking a whiff, moaning out your name, palming his dick over his sweats, too impatient to fully get it out, so needy, tears brimming at the shame the closer he gets to cumming, finally stuffing your underwear into his mouth in attempt to drown out his moans, but he still ends up saying your name through the restriction of your underwear, muffles as he chants your name the more he chases his high, his drool staining your cute panties, oh how dirty he was when he finally soils his pants at a flash of you on your knees, just for him.

perv!soobin who uses the pair of your underwear all night, masturbating like a sex crazed addict, spilling his seed all over them, dried cum under yet another load, then another...then another.

soobin who humps his anime girl body pillow, your underwear stained with his cum stuffed in his mouth, eyes rolling back at the imagination of having you under him, stretching you out, slamming his dick into you, with each thrust, your breasts bouncing up and down, so lewd, your mouth hung open dumbly, spit all over, begging him to give you his seed-- oh, how soobin dreams, "you wanna have my babies? y/n you wanna carry my babies? h-hah, g-gonna breed you-- gonna- gonna cum!"

hips getting more unrelenting against his poor pillow, with a final cry muffled in your underwear, thinking of spurting his load deep in your tummy, "fuckkk.." he groans, filling you up so well, the image of his seed seeping out your pussy when he pulls out gets soobin's hips to grind against his pillow just a little more before he finally gives out, so exhausted for going so long, your underwear still loosely in his mouth, drenched with his spit, as he flutters his tear stained lashes shut.

soobin who deep washes your panties, so guilty the next day, trying to scrub off with his hands the scent of his cum, but with all fail, he ends up trashing it. he won't do this again, he can't, he'll never.

...right?

########################

2nd a/n: ok. wow. i really am in my soobin thought dump lol beomgyu's position getting threatened 😭 i might actually do a version for all members im so into this whole perv thing

[fruity-fruition]

My thoughts on Tenma Parents!

I am the Tenma parents' number #1 defender in a way. I still think they fucked up Tsukasa, but not intentionally.

(fyi, Tsukasa is definitely a mama's boy and I don't accept criticism. Saki's on the contrary)

I think Tsukasa's parents loved both him and Saki equally, unlimitedly, and wholeheartedly. The sad reality is that life handed the entire family a shitty deck of cards. And while love is unlimited, time and attention isn't.

They try their best, they genuinely do, but it's difficult juggling their job AND an ill child AND another child.

Due to Saki's (uncontrollable!! Remember!!) condition, one of the parents has to be with her nearly at all times and the other one has to work for the additional hospital bills (since the government can't cover some surgeries or procedures. Idk how it works in Japan but)

They try to be there for Saki and Tsukasa a lot but they do notice growing concerns abt both of them.

Saki's getting quiet, nearly bursting into tears every time Tsukasa or any of them leaves the hospital room. She clings on to people a lot to the point of where it hurts.

Tsukasa's getting quiet too. He thinks they don't notice, since he's trying to act upbeat and cheery in front of Saki to cheer her up, but they can't ignore... that. Whatever is happening to him.

They both don't know what to do.

Despite their best efforts, Tsukasa was still left home alone most of his late childhood and early teens.

They don't have favourites, but after a while, they can't say they know their son anymore. They saw him grow up without them, and it's the most heartbreaking thing to not be there.

--

They had to miss his middle school graduation. They tried to take time off work, but neither of them got off fast enough to reach the ceremony. Both only saw him that day at the hospital.

But Tsukasa lied. Lied to Saki's face, because he didn't want to upset her.

Tsukasa's mom: "Sweetheart, we're so sorry-"

Tsukasa: "-that you had to leave the ceremony early? It's okay!"

Their parents look at him confused because the issue is that they weren't even there. But Tsukasa gave them eyes, begging them to play along.

Tsukasa's mom: "...yeah. y-yeah, work called in and we really couldn't avoid it much longer"

Tsukasa lets out a sigh of relief before nodding and smiling "really! It's okay!"

When leaving Saki's ward, his mom asked him why he lied, and he just looked at her and shook his head.

Tsukasa: "...Saki does this thing, where she blames herself for stuff she can't control. I-I don't know how I know it, but I'm sure she'll do the same if she found out you weren't there. I don't want to see her doing that."

Outside, his mom pulls him into a hug, whispering apology after apology as she holds him. He kept insisting, it's fine! Really! He's a future star, with loads of celebration to come! Who cares if they missed one?

His mom looks at him, with genuine sadness, and asks him to be honest with her. Is he upset?

She noticed him froze, before shaking his head.

Tsukasa: "Not at all, mom! I understand why you both couldn't make it"

Tsukasa's mom: "...You can understand and still be upset. You're allowed to be"

But despite her best efforts to make her son open up, he still shakes his head and tells her it's alright.

She thinks he doesn't know that she knows. She knows that he wants them to worry less about him, which made them worry more.

--

She learned from Saki that Tsukasa doesn't have a lot of friends. He never mentions it a lot to Saki, but every time Saki asks him if he'd be hanging out with people, he just looks at her confused.

Tsukasa: "Why would I hang out with other people when I have the most incredible sister in the world!"

When he started to open up to her again, later in the future, when everything had settled down and life was beginning to move steady, she'll learn that his classmates think he's overbearing.

He wasn't getting bullied, nor was he actually disliked. But in terms of friends? They think he's a bit too loud, too tiring to deal with. Some even think he's a bit too selfish.

She would argue about that final point with her life. Because if anything, she wishes Tsukasa thought of himself more.

--

They learned more about him when he was 17. They learned about his friends, his troupe, his work, and how close he's gotten towards achieving his dreams. They're so unbelievably proud of him. He's grown into such an incredible person.

They just wished they could've taken the credit.

--

They loved their children equally. Even when Toya was pulled into the frame and they unknowingly gained a third, they loved him all the same.

But there's a difference in loving and knowing, because their son felt far more distant to them than their daughter. And they're trying their absolute best to fix that rift before it's too late

--

Both Tsukasa and Saki suffered majorly in their life, both in vastly different ways. But in terms of parents, I think Tsukasa got the short end. But not intentionally, y'know? It's like. Accidental child neglect.

[arcane-vagabond]

Hey, y’all. Not really sure how to start this, but here goes.

I started using Tumblr in the far off year of 2012, when I was 16. I started off in the Hunger Games fandom right as the movies were coming out, and I made so many amazing friends on here. I eventually moved on to different fandoms, namely SuperWhoLock (The combined fandom of Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock. If you know, you know). There were ups and downs, but fandom was a community I could rely on. Strangers on the internet were supportive of me, even if we weren't necessarily close, people made an avid effort to interact with each other and have conversations with people on here.

I took a break when I started college, trying to navigate my way through my newly aqcuired adult status, and Tumblr kind of fell by the wayside after a while. But, when I left there was still a thriving community in fandom with people interacting with each other, coming up with theories for things, coming up with theories and headcanons about beloved characters. Comments and reblogs were plentiful, and fanfic, fanart, etc. were a two sided conversation. You didn't even have to write fanfic or make fanart in order to get interactions.

I came back a couple of years ago, logging in here and there to lurk and read fanfic on my old blog. I discovered Top Gun: Maverick and felt compelled to write my very first fanfiction: Don't Hang'em Til Noon. I was so excited to share it because I saw that no one else had done a Wild West!AU, and I was excited to share my work and talk about it and the actual movie with people on here. I did find people who were as excited as I was, and that was great. But then I got one of my first anonymous messages.

"You really need to calm down."

Calm down? Why? I thought the whole point of fandom was that we were all excited about this one thing? I was so confused.

I kept writing, and the hate anons kept coming. I was accused of thinking I'm better than everyone on here (why, I still don't understand), I was accused of thinking I run the fandom (probably because I pointed very obvious things out), and more. I take it on the chin usually, but of course words still hurt. This was not what I remembered fandom being like, and I found that the longer I kept doing this, the more it started to feel like a chore versus something I genuinely enjoyed.

I get hundreds of votes in my polls for what to update or what to do next, but the notes and interactions are not reflecting this. I got more interactions as someone who didn't create fan works twelve years ago than I do as a content creator now. The attitude towards fandom has changed.

It's no longer a community, it's a popularity contest. People put down others to make themselves feel better, which was always a thing, but not it's more prevalent. It's become a numbers game, and it shouldn't be. People say that they're too afraid to comment or put themselves out there to talk to creators, but guess what? It's terrifying to put your work out there to be seen by so many people and to be judged. And it's discouraging to see the amount of people who like but won't leave a comment or reblog. Do you actually like it? How am I supposed to know?

Some of you are so jealous of others, that you've let it consume you. You attack me for my AUs, claiming that they're boring and uninteresting, and yet? There are some of you who've seen how invested some people have become with my stories and have tried to emulate them. You're not venturing into AU because you genuinely want to. You're doing it because you see that there's a market for it. You're the same people who mocked me for doing it in the first place.

There's a whole group on here that are so bitter and insecure about their own abilities, that they feel the need to put others down, and I'm not mad. If anything, I feel genuinely sorry for you.

There have always been problems with fandom, but not like this. I don't know if this is all specific to the TGM fandom, but y'all? I'm exhausted. I'm tired of putting so much of myself out there to only here crickets or demands for more. What happened to actual conversation? Waht happened to interacting for the sake of interacting?

I've made some genuinely amazing friends on here, and I talk to them pretty much every single day. However, I need a break from this website. I need to find my love for writing again, and I won't be able to do it on here while things continue to be the way they are. So, this is my long ass way of announcing that I'm officialy going on hiatus for a little while, at least the month. I will be focusing on writing We Abide as an original story the way it was originally intended to be. I will not be on during this time. I will not continue to pressure myself to update for you all when you give me next to nothing in return. And if this makes me the villain? Then so be it.

For those of you who've been a constant source of comfort, laughter, inspiration, etc.? I love you. From the bottom of my heart, I'm so grateful to all of you, and if at the end of my month away I decide to come back, I hope you'll still be here to read what I give.

Until next time.

-Liz

[nothorses]

May I ask why you think Biden stepping down and Kamala being the candidate to be 'good news'? I'm still voting for whoever the Democratic candidate is ofc, but I worry this move threw away the average swingvoter who may have been swayed towards voting blue. I don't see how anyone who may have been okay voting for Biden by virtue of him being an old white dude is gonna be as nice towards a brown woman. I mean, people were too sexist for Hillary, the most milquetoast white woman imaginable. I'd really like to hear your perspective.

Biden has been polling like shit for months, and basically fucking everyone has been calling for him to step out of the race for a while now. It's been the opinion of political experts that he doesn't have much of a shot in this election for a variety of reasons. The vast majority of his own base is incredibly dissatisfied with his stance on Palestine (an understatement), and numbers have been reflecting that he was going to be running against some truly miserable odds because of that.

It is genuinely the best option for him to step out of the race. Literally just about anyone else has a much better shot at winning than Biden did. Kamala included! There was a press conference a while back where someone actually asked him if he'd step down if Kamala polled better, and he said he wouldn't. Which is extremely worrying, because it demonstrates that he may have been prioritizing his own personal ego over the importance of keeping Republicans out of office this election.

I don't like Biden, and I really didn't like his odds in this race. Nobody else did, either. The fact that Obama came out and said Biden needs to step down is indication enough that this happened because the situation is really that dire; you have to remember that Democrats are all about Doing Things By The Book, especially in the last 8-ish years when it's been useful for them to be Rule Followers in contrast to the tantrum-throwing chaos machines that Republicans have been. If there was even a sliver of hope for Biden to stay in the race after being chosen in the sad sham that the primaries were this election cycle, they would have kept pushing just to stay within the bounds of convention.

I was ready to push for Biden regardless, because keeping Republicans out of office is priority #1. But I've been saying for a while now that he needs to drop out (just... not on Tumblr, where the dominant conversation is "does voting for a flawed political pawn make you personally responsible for everything they ever do, or should we abstain and let the fascists hijack our government and kickstart several new genocides for the sake of personal moral purity" and I don't think that kind of nuance would be well-received).

I use my grandparents as a litmus test in a lot of this stuff, because they are very much the Typical Liberal Democrats, and their opinions on these things tend to fall in line with the majority of voting Democrats. They absolutely loved Biden in 2020, long before he was chosen as the candidate. They don't anymore. Seeing them lose any and all enthusiasm for voting for this corpse of a man was evidence enough to me that we needed someone else. Ideally someone people can get excited about, because I think folks have mostly lost the perspective we had in 2020 when Trump's nightmarish presidency was fresh in everyone's minds, and served as motivation enough to get to the fucking polls- regardless of who the Dem pick actually was.

From what I understand, Kamala is actually polling better than anyone else right now. I have my fears about voters' racism and misogyny too, but if she's doing well in the polls, I wonder if maybe there's some other factors counteracting that. She's also got name recognition, and the general impression of Being Qualified (because she's been VP already, like Biden was), and Being Likeable (because she comes with the general positive associations of the largely successful Biden presidency, without any baggage of perceived responsibility that Biden himself carries- like Biden did with Obama). She's been flying under the radar while still reaping the benefits of positive associations, and people know who she is. That feels like a good combination, but I don't know enough, and I haven't read enough into it to make any decently educated guesses.

That said, I don't really know as much about who the other potential candidates might be, either. I've heard Pete Buttigieg's name tossed around, but nobody liked his ass back in 2020 and idk if that's actually changed at all. I just know that every politically-knowledgeable/politically-active leftist whose opinion I've heard on the topic has been citing Biden dropping out as the literal only hope for a non-Republican to win this election, and I'm really fucking excited to see that come to fruition. I just hope the Dems pick someone who really does have a good shot.

As a sidenote, I also really hope this marks a shift in how they make decisions, too. It's become increasingly obvious how out-of-touch Democrats are with their voters, and Biden 2024 was just the latest and greatest indicator of exactly how bad that's gotten. The fact that the party has been able to make such an unconventional decision in response to what their voters actually want gives me a little bit of hope that we might be able to influence more change with them going forward than we have been.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Okay, I've Read Worm: A Retrospective Part 4: Let's Give Wildbow Some Fucking Well-Earned Praise

So, I've had a decent number of harsh words for Wildbow over the course of my liveblog, and also over on my main blog. Overall, most of them are about his WoGs or Ward, rather than Worm itself. I've also commented I don't think I'd enjoy talking to him (not that he's likely to ever reach out, but you know). But I've had some complaints about Worm too.

But the thing is, I did read Worm. I read the whole thing. A desire to write fanfic would not have kept me going through all 30 chapters if I hated it. Or even if I just thought it was like, mediocre. It's 1.6 Million words. I am not that kind of masochist.

Life is short, Worm is long, if I wasn't enjoying it, I'd have left a long time ago. So I did enjoy it.

And the thing is, even if I never pick up his other works (and I do intend to try some), I am no doubt going to have more harsh words for Wildbow in the future. And I have no doubt that even if I love say, Pact or Pale or Claw or Seek or... I dunno, his next Web Serial after Seek called *throws a dart at a wall* Iota, I'm sure I'll have harsh words. I can't think of a single creator of anything that I don't have at least some issues with something they put out.

And to be fair, even most people who fully like Worm and Ward tend to have some harsh words for him now and then, or at least negative ones.

BUT, I liked Worm. And so, I think it's fair to really sit down and give him some unalloyed, unambiguous praise.

The Pace of Output: This is probably low-hanging fruit, but it is genuinely impressive that Wildbow wrote Worm as quickly as he did, sticking to a schedule as consistently as he did. I am in awe. I think even if I didn't have to work at all, and was able to write all the time, I wouldn't even be able to match half of what he did in the same amount of time, in terms of output. Wildbow accomplished something that is genuinely amazing here.

The Shards, Entities and Powers: Shard mechanics are not my favorite thing about Worm. But the whole thing really does come together well. It's a pretty cohesive, pretty well directed power system to tell the story he wanted to tell. I don't consume much cape fiction, so I don't know what stuff beyond Marvel and DC are really like in terms of how powers work and how they all fit and service the story, but for Worm, the Shards work to tell the story he wants to tell, really well. I read and write mostly fantasy and sci-fi, and spend a lot of time in worldbuilding spaces dedicated to both, or have at least, and a lot of would be writers fall into the trap of trying to overdevelop the magic system or the rules for whatever crazy supertech their story has without really stopping to figure out how it fits for the story they want. That's generally not a great approach if the intent is to have a story, and not just a cool setting or a fun magic concept. Wildbow created a pretty cool system, and then managed to avoid the common trap of getting so attached to the power system and it's rules that it interfered with telling the story he wanted to tell. Instead, he built and bent the system with his story as the driving purpose, and kept it all cohesively working within that framework.

The Interludes: The Interludes are without a doubt some of the best shit in Worm, overall. The way he is able to convey so much about these characters in these cutaway scenes and expand the world and advance the story and develop ongoing themes and narratives? Nearly every Interlude is doing like, 4 things at once, I swear to got, and the way he juggles that all together is awesome, and the end result is great. I will never go back and reread all of Worm from start to finish. But I will sure as shit go back and read some of the interludes just for the sheer fun of it. The way these cutaways manage to get you inside the head of these people, see their perspective is really good, takes real skill to make you go 'I really kinda see Saint's POV here' for his Interlude, for instance. Really good.

Amy Dallon: So like, I think it's clear I love Amy. She's fascinating. I have big feelings about her, and she's a divisive as fuck character. But Amy Dallon is the most fascinating character in Worm for me personally and she's genuinely one of the most fascinating characters in anything I've read. I'll have more to say about Amy if I manage to get a version of that Amy retrospective I'm happy with written, but unironically? Wildbow, thank you for writing Amy Dallon. I bitch about how much she's taken over my brain, but Amy is such a fascinating, interesting, enjoyable and engrossing character that she has been a net positive for me. Reading Worm and reading about her has enriched my life. Thank you. You did a damn good job with her in Worm, Wildbow.

Taylor Hebert: As I said back in Part 1 of this retrospective, I was worried I'd find Taylor insufferable. Her capacity for self-rationalization should be an issue for me. It often can be in other characters. But Wildbow managed to write Taylor amazingly. He created a character who is multifaceted, multilayered, complex, nuanced and yet, pretty simple. She's intensely relatable, and yet, she is also deeply, deeply alien and abnormal. She does absolutely insane shit, and yet, when you're reading along with her POV, so much of what she does and thinks makes her seem like the only sane woman in the room. Even when you take a step back and realize what she does, she's very hard to not like. Even if you want to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her, you like her. She's great. She's an everywoman, she's no woman. She's clever and stupid and brilliant and unimaginative all at once. She is... She's Taylor Hebert. She's an antihero, a villain protagonist, a hero hero and... she's just some fucking girl.

Heroes/Villains: What I mean by this bulletpoint is - villain protagonists, making villainous characters sympathetic - that's easy enough to do. And making the 'official heroes' of a setting not really as great as they might seem is also fairly easy to do. But it is hard to pair the two together as well as Wildbow did. The Undersiders do a lot of bad things (I would disagree with people who say they're all *fundamentally* bad people - even Regent... ish, kinda sorta. He's so fucked up due to his background that calling him fundamentally bad is probably not really accurate. Though some people draw red lines around some of what he did, so that's more subjective. But like, the key thing is that he did that while *also* still making them pretty sympathetic without like... running protag-centered morality and still making them have done quite a bit of good (and a ton of bad) AND the handling of the heroes. Because it really does look a lot like he's doing a bit where the 'official heroes' are the real bad guys of the story between things like Armsmaster's shit and Interlude 2, but he also doesn't actually do that. And he executes it in a way that is really well done, without doing the thing where the narrative acts like someone is evil but like... the person isn't.

This isn't really an exhaustive list of 'everything Worm did well' or even 'Everything I liked about Worm', but it is stuff that Wildbow did really fucking well, that I really liked or am impressed with, and that he deserves unalloyed praise for.

There are reasons why I kept reading Worm, and those are some of the reasons.

(There could also be a point on how he manages the readers' information diet, but it's really hard to say for sure if it's something that I really liked because I came in so thoroughly spoiled. From what I can see, I think I would have liked it and given it the unalloyed praise normally, but it's impossible to say because I knew what 75% of these clues were ahead of time).

Mr. Bow - you did a lot of shit I don't like. But holy motherfucking shit, you did some goddamn amazing stuff too.

[homestuckreplay]

psychoanalyzing rose’s mother (because rose won’t do it)

(page 903-910)

The Skaianet Laboratory Unestablishment countdown ticks from 1:43 down to 1:34. I see those 413s being snuck in. I am genuinely at a point where if I see a number that isn’t 413 I get suspicious.

I love Rose so so much. And I love that she’s into psychoanalysis (kind of). But her saying ‘this incongruous thing? I pretend I do not see it’ is just like her saying there is ‘nothing to psychoanalyze’ about her mother’s love of wizards (p.360). She’s going in with preconceived expectations and not willing to interrogate the unexpected.

Like. Let’s look at the facts. In this massive, empty lab with thousands of twinkling boxes and no people, somebody has left a pink plastic table and chairs, a tea set, a scarf, a pink and white bed with cat, flower, heart and paw print designs, a princess themed dresser, cat stuffed toys, and WIZARD DOLLS. Pretty pink masters of the arcane with their long beards and pointy hats. Kind of a giveaway as to which local wizard-loving woman might own all this.

Rose’s mom has brought all this down to the lab, where she either works or just spends time. And she’s probably lonely down here and trying to recapture a childhood, whether that’s her own or Rose’s. We know from the pretty princess doll (p.363) that Mom likes to buy traditionally girly gifts for Rose, so this could even be old toys of Rose’s that she doesn’t even remember, her mom still playing with them to remind her of when she used to play with Rose. If Mom works here, then she’s up at this meteor terminal thinking about how one day, her daughter and anyone else they both care about are both going to be in danger from this upcoming apocalypse. And maybe she wants to hold on to the time she’s had with Rose before everything changes, or maybe she wishes she could be the one being taken care of, miles from the nearest town and with no partner or other family at home. She’s looking for comfort, she may well want to escape her own daughter’s judgment, and ultimately she has to parent herself as much as Rose does.

All this very important content is immediately overshadowed by the tiny kitten. There is a kitten hiding in the teapot. A TEAPOT SIZED KITTEN. I thought I was over this but I am not. A SMALL KITTEN!

Page 909 is composed similarly to Jade’s furry thoughts on page 797, but with the opposite emotion behind it. But clowns is clowns, and I don’t think John is scared of finding a bunch of regular ass harlequins like Dad might keep downstairs. That also wouldn’t explain why John’s always been kept from going in Dad’s room (and I could be wrong but it seems uncommon to not even know what’s inside a parent’s room). I think John is scared that his dad has a different secret. Based on the contents of Dad’s safe (p.544) I wonder if Dad is an amateur investigator who’s been looking into some of the strange phenomena associated with Skaia. Maybe John is about to encounter red-string cork boards and more tidbits about meteors, and find out that his dad is way more involved in current events than previously thought.

In page titles, ‘ascend’ first appears on page 660 and ‘descend’ not until page 840 (though the word is used in passing on both page 358 and 361). ‘Ascend’ also appears on page 759 in Nanna’s prophecy, where she states that ‘together [the Heir, Seer, Knight and Witch] will Ascend’. On page 909 the narrator treats ‘descend’ as an expectation, but it’s a fairly recent one. It’s one of my favorite things about serial fiction to see these tidbits of patterns and lore be dropped in and then woven through the narrative as if they’ve always been crucial, until it’s impossible to divorce the two. But it’s still possible to see that Homestuck characters weren’t ascending on day one.

> John: Examine room.

[otomes-and-tears]

it’s meeeeeeeee i’m shiloh enjoyer #3!!!! revolving him around in my brain every day like it’s a microwave 😭😭 i know you’re busy with a lot of other asks at the moment but i’m eagerly awaiting the lizzie post!! and all of your other writing ofc <33 you brighten my day :D

HELLO TO THE MYSTERIOUS SHILOH ENJOYER #3! I think we're all here now haha I'm glad you enjoy my analysis posts! NOW BUCKLE UP, BUCKAROOS! THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE LOWKEY SAD: Elizabeth is perhaps the most complex and defining relationship in Shiloh's life.

First of all, it's one of the few we see glimpses of throughout several steps in his life-- we see how he idolises her as a child, how he acts towards her when they reconnect in his teenage years and glimpses of how the different versions of him act with her in adulthood. It's likely the oldest relationship he maintains that isn't familial, and I think that's incredibly significant when we take into consideration what I believe to be one of the paradoxical cores of Shiloh's character: Connections and relationships are disposable to him, but Shiloh is only Shiloh as long as there’s someone there. He still feels lonely.

I talked a little before about Shiloh's childhood. How the social dynamics he established as a kid ended up influencing his behaviour as a teenager: He sees Lizzie as the obvious leader, since she's older and more assertive than him and MC, and follows her around and obeys her every whim because of it. Whether he genuinely likes her or not is up for debate, but I don’t think it matters to Shiloh. What she means to him is something that can far supersede any simple likes or dislikes that he might feel at that age:

She provides stability and purpose. She’s his anchor against the mean kids, the teasing, the isolation. All he has to do is stay in her favour. Lizzie is his first encounter with a power dynamic he can rely on and emulate as he grows, and therefore she becomes someone he idolises.

Shiloh doesn’t need to be honest, or even be himself, as long as he’s useful and needed. He understands social hierarchies all too well, knowing what happens to people at the bottom. It’s why he insists he isn’t “different” and loses it when Cove calls him “weird.”

He was probably one of the kids who got picked on, so he’s always scrambling to stay just above water and not sink to the bottom with the rest of the “outcasts.” MC doesn’t mean much to him, but in Lizzie’s absence, he sticks to them just as obediently, as they’re the next best thing. Cove, on the other hand, is mostly just a mild annoyance but does give Shiloh a bit of relief because, for once, he’s not the one at the bottom. And it’s not like Cove was ever going to be Lizzie’s favourite anyway.

Whenever Shiloh gets ignored, he panics and tries to wedge himself back into the conversation however he can. And as soon as Lizzie shows up again, he immediately runs back to the safety of their old dynamic.

I think that while most of him admires her at that age, there's a little part of him that resents not being like her. Not being able to be a leader and being relegated to a follower, feeling aimless when she isn't around. As a kid, he's more prone to lashing out when angered, unlike older Shiloh who acts with fake cheeriness and this strange, eery coldness when annoyed. And that's why he pulls her down with him into the water in Step 1.

If he isn't willing to voice these things because he doesn't want to rock the boat and cause issues, he expresses it more subtly.

Shiloh’s just scared—a scared little kid who figured out a way to fit in. And because that method kept working for him, through moving out of state and getting through life without Lizzie, he never really had a reason to change, even if it did a number on his very sense of self.

He got better at these tactics over time, making sure he’d always have a way to fit in, but it cost him a real personality and genuine social skills beyond the manipulation tactics he fine-tuned throughout the years. Eventually, he started taking control in small but crucial ways: He’s the one who walks away from relationships, now. Removing himself from them becomes a choice. It’s not only about leaving when people cease being useful to him but about imposing a sense of control that he felt like he lacked in childhood since he moved schools and states a few times and was likely used to being the “new kid” in different places.

He learned to hide his feelings better, so he wouldn’t blow up the way he did when he was seven. That’s why his relationship with Elizabeth—and the times he had to start fresh somewhere new—were so essential to shaping who he is: Lizzie set the standard for the kinds of relationships he’d chase, and moving around gave him fresh slates and new people to practice on.

That brings us to the serendipity moment in Our life and what we know from him in Xoxo droplets. Now, I know a lot of people haven’t actually played XOD and only have a cursory knowledge of it and the fact that a few characters from it cameo in the Our Life series! But did you know that Liz is mentioned by name in Shiloh’s route?!?

Yes! Back in 2017 we actually had Shiloh mention the events of Serendipity, which I think is a crucial scene to understand Shiloh’s character.

But before we talk about that, Let's talk Serendipity!

After Jeremy brings up “Shiloh’s famous memory” and Liz realizes he lied about not remembering her in the Step 3 prologue, Shiloh actually goes ahead and explains why he is the way he is. His explanation lines up with what we know about him from XOXO Droplets and how he acts in Step 1.

I don’t think he’s lying. Not about all of it, at least. Some of the only concrete information we have on Shiloh’s character and how he functions comes from his childhood, and I think that what he’s saying is a natural progression of that information. He only does things for his own benefit, he’s afraid of being left out and he asserts his sense of control through his relationships with others. But it’s really important to remember that Shiloh doesn’t do things without it benefiting him. While I believe in the core of what he’s saying, the fact that he’s divulging this information at all (how he’s going about it, by putting Liz and her feelings on the matter first, and framing his choices as being mistakes he made out of care for an old friend and by reiterating that they’re too good and putting himself down for pity points) instead of trying to dodge the conversation again, he’s employing a few of his known manipulation tactics: the real me strategy.

Shiloh knows that this new information is hurtful to Liz, and like in Step 1, her opinion is really the one that matters to him. He knows that there’s a limit to how much he can play dumb before they snap, and by Jeremy revealing part of his MO, there isn’t a lot he can do to smooth things over, so the least destructive path is to do exactly what Shiloh does to JB during his route in Xoxo droplets: He feeds Liz little bits of truth because he knows he’ll damage their relationship if he doesn’t. He gives her enough so she feels like she knows him better, like she’s got some new, special insight into the “real” Shiloh that nobody else has, which keeps her around. He pretends to drop his manipulative schtick because by telling her this, she has “figured him out” and there isn’t a point in trying anymore. That itself is a manipulation tactic.

But why bother? He’d be gone again by the end of the afternoon regardless of her forgiveness or not.

It comes back to what I mentioned earlier: Shiloh is the one who exerts control over his relationships. He is the one who decides when they start, and when they end, and by Liz being upset and deciding she doesn’t want to be around him, not only does he lose the control he craves, but Shiloh loses it with the person he based all of his subsequent relationships on.

In the few hours that he spent in Sunset Bird, they all fell back into their old dynamics even though it had been so long since Shiloh stepped foot in that town. He still remembers that she prefers popsicles over ice-cream sandwiches, and even though he’s better at including MC and Cove, Shiloh in a lot of ways fell back into their old routine, looking back to Liz as his leader and following into step as her sidekick. It doesn’t matter if Liz isn’t an active part of his life any longer, what would it mean to him to have those memories tainted? For that perfect template to be ruined?

But Liz stays. 

And because of that choice, we get to see the ultimate consequences of it. Shiloh isn’t a good person. As pitiful and as tragic as he might be, he simply isn’t one. And I think that can be encapsulated perfectly in how he frames his interaction with Liz to his girlfriend in Xoxo Droplets.

He glosses over what he did wrong, he casually exploits that event to garner points with his girlfriend. He ultimately doesn’t care if she takes his and Liz’s relationship the wrong way and frames it as being romantic, even if that’s far from the truth. Even with Elizabeth being miles away and already hurt by him, he still finds ways to use people and spin narratives to his advantage. 

I do believe he holds Liz in higher esteem than most (and arguments can be made that JB, the main character in XOXO droplets and his love interest, and Elizabeth share similarities in both appearance and their strong-willed, confident personalities), since she was his “idol” by his own admittance, but this is a tiny way in which he asserts his control over the situation. It doesn’t matter if Liz believes she holds the reins. If she’s older, admirable and if he still follows her around like an obedient puppy when she’s around.

By choosing to stay, she tipped the scales in his favour. He is the one in control once again, and he's able to continue his interminable cycle of holding people at arm's length while playing the part of a devoted companion.

[elizais]

how to survive the great war

pm!osamu dazai x pm!reader summary: the night dazai has to leave, he knows he can't lose someone else. warnings: some spoilers, i change some stuff around a teensy bit (obvs), a bit angsty but we work through it, alcohol mentioned throughout but not descriptive wc: 2.4k

that night dazai knew he had to leave. he knew what he was told to do and he had just lost one of the people who kept him going, he couldn't lose you too. so, when you found him in your favourite abandoned spot once you couldn't find him anywhere else, you were distraught. the man who had helped you both more than you could ever think of wasn't there anymore, and osamu had to leave as well. you couldn't leave with him or else the chances of survival for either of you went down tremendously, so you two devised a plan:

the past few days, you were barely together due to work. that's what everyone knew so they didn't question it, and that was true! you both worked for the port mafia so everyone knew of you two. but, tomorrow everyone would know that the demon prodigy had left and you would go to work and "find out" then and there.

to make this plan work and be believable, the new reason for not being around each other was "because you had an awful argument" a few days ago and once you won't go home straight away tonight. you will go to chuuya's and be inconsolable over how you haven't had a real conversation with osamu "not because of work but because of arguments." and get chuuya super drunk. you will act drunk but only get tipsy so that you can recall what happened last night with chuuya when mori inevitably interrogates you.

"osamu, what will you do while i'm there?" you asked him for your peace of mind. "don't worry, just don't go in that hat rack's car at any point of the night." was his response. "can you make sure he doesn't take the blame either?" to which he sighed. "for a mafioso you do care an awful lot." osamu teased. "well an old friend said i should be on the side that helps and protects people." you eyed him. "fine." he rolled his eyes.

after chuuya's event, you will go to your apartment see dazai had left a note reading "this is over. goodbye y/n" and you will get yourself fully drunk (not really, you will empty your alcohol bottles into the plants. but you will tell mori that this is why you can't remember anything else.) as this goes on, osamu will be starting his time off the grid. you genuinely couldn't know anything, if anything happened and it forced you to give away that information - you were both dead. as much as this killed you not knowing where he was, at least one part of this story would be true.

at around 2:30 am, you will go and grab a new phone with a new phone number from one of the mafia's distributors. mori had told you a while ago you should change phones to not build a trail against you, so when they message mori to tell him after you buy it this will come up in mori's interrogation. your answer will be simple "i was incredibly upset, your words spoke to me and i didn't want to ever contact osa-, dazai again. i thought he was just skipping work when i didn't see him when i walked in today." that would kill off that lead for mori.

then, you would finally go back to your apartment and organise the sale of it. this is what really got to you when you put it into action. the apartment you both got when you were 16 with your mafia connections the moment you found out he was an executive in a shipping container. when this is brought up by mori this will be the longer answer, at this point you would have 'found out' he betrayed the port mafia. "i will be damned if he knows where to find me after what he done." will be your explanation if mori finds out about this sale.

that was the last step of the plan, because osamu assured your teary eyes "we will find eachother again. i promise." he never lied to you about such important things, and after all.. you were another mafia executive who has known this man since forever. you held out your pinky before he connected his before kissing the part where your pinky touched his. "i'll see you later, 'samu." you knew this was the end of your relationship, for now. he responded as he stroked your cheek "i'll see you even sooner, my dear." before you both turned around, not looking back once as time was strong, but you two were even stronger.

and that is when you went right to chuuya nakahara. to begin what divides dying because you're in the mafia or dying because you left the mafia.

"y/n? what's wrong?" the ginger asked, shocked one of the toughest mafia members was shaking at his penthouse's entrance. you were genuinely upset but not over what you were about to tell him. "it's osamu.. we haven't had a real conversation since that argument." you explained, allowing a few tears to fall. very unusual from a mafia executive. and then the plan was given the go ahead when chuuya's solution was alcohol. just like you had planned. you did feel bad for tricking one of your closest friends but this was for both of you. once you got him complaining about everyone, he was absolutely done for the night. you slowly removed yourself before you were too intoxicated to move to the next step of the plan.

you headed to your apartment. you knew there would be a note there that would upset you for the story but you couldn't help but fight back real tears. you couldn't cry yet as you had to come off as tipsy on cctv so that when mori performs a makeshift investigation, you are in the clear. but the second your apartment door shut behind you, all your feelings were let out. you prayed this was some sick joke and osamu was in the other room and nothing bad had happened to the man who kept you both alive on many separate occasions. but you had to survive, because you knew osamu was trying his best too.

on the counter, you saw the note, the note that sealed this reality. although it was you who put that into the plan it killed you. it killed you more than what the mafia could ever do to you. then, you went through what you and osamu discussed.. it was time to dump the drinks. you laughed at your thoughts as you remembered how samu would make fun of you and your plants but now they were saving both of your asses. you checked the time.. "2:08" read out on your phone's screen. hours ago was the last time you would see the person you love most for a long, unspecified amount of time. you had 22 minutes before you had to get a new phone. you decided to spend those 22 minutes, or 1320 seconds pulling out the box of memories underneath your clothes.

the beat up gift box held your fondest memories. for a leader in a mafia, you were a big softie. you knew dazai was too (deep down as well). you traced over the stickers your love put on when you called it boring. fruit stickers, the labels of his bandages.. the most random ones. you smiled as you saw the hello kitty ones he stole from elise. remembering the day your mission was to babysit her and you bought face paint. your phone buzzed with a notification from the bed as you kneeled on the floor, not even opening the box yet. the time read "2:23" and you decided that it was close enough and you got ready to leave.

walking out of the apartment you looked at the note again, a little harder this time. pieces of the ink had ran a little bit.. was it possible he had cried? your heart broke into a million little pieces and the glue that could fix it was off the grid for everyone.

you drove to the warehouse that supplied the mafia's doings. you brought the money in cash as per their requests. they would send a message to mori informing him of your purchase which is exactly what you needed to happen. you only needed a new phone but you splurged for a new laptop too. just to cheer you up. but as you stepped out of your car and walked into the warehouse that is usually empty held hirotsu and kouyou.

before they could see you, you put on a brave face. they would certainly ask what you were doing and why. you headed in.

"oh! y/n! what are you doing here, sweet?" your dear friend kouyou asked. you two had built up a strong relationship and you trusted her. but not enough. hirotsu had walked into the storage room with one of the workers so it was just you two. "me and.. him.. we got into a bad argument." and that was all she needed to hear before pulling you into a hug. "have you spoken to chuuya darling? aren't you two friends?" she questioned, concerned for you. you nodded and by then she had to leave. you left 20 minutes later, not seeing hirotsu again and picking up your new devices with another shady worker.

then, you found your way to the place you called home and organised the sale of it in a month. you didn't care about who desperately wanted it, you just had to make it through a month here without your person.

the morning rolled around and you did not sleep at all, you knew what happened but nobody else knew you did. everyone knew what happened so as you walked into the infamous HQ, all eyes were on you. some people completely avoided you, others sent you sympathetic smiles but mori did nothing of the sort. he put on his gentleman facade as he waltzed into your meeting that you lead for your subordinates. "hello everyone. we have all noticed a certain mans absence so consider the rest of your meeting a time to catch up on paperwork." he beckoned you over and walked behind you to his office.

"y/n" he spoke as he sat down. you cut the polite greetings. "where is osamu, mori?" you glared. of course you knew but he didn't know that.

"that is exactly what i grabbed you to ask. what do you know about his disappearance?" he tried to look right through you but you did not let him. "i haven't had a real conversation with him in ages.." you began with lie number one. "where did you go after work?"

"straight to chuuya's. i know i'm not a drinker but it just all got to me last night." mori nodded, silently asking you to carry on and you did. "i got there and we both got drunk with his collection. i don't know how long i stayed." mori looked at his sheet that faced him and nodded, most definitely adding up with what the redhead said.

"afterwards?" and that was your cue to get the tears welling up. "i went home.. and there was a note and i just drank it all away.." lie number two. "you can go if you want.. i don't want to be where he used to be." you tossed him your keys to search your apartment before beginning again. sounding angrier. "it's one thing betraying me but.. the port mafia?" and that was what got mori to believe you. you explained the new phone and he didn't even ask about you selling your apartment. you didn't know if he knew about anything else but this conversation went really well.

"i don't need to look through your apartment, y/n. i'll take your word for it." he passed the keys back before dismissing you. with your back turned to him, a smile creeped onto your face. you wouldn't know for at least a year but for now.. you were both safe.

walking into your own office, an envelope with a red wax seal was on the middle of your desk. it wasn't there before.

opening it, you could make an educated guess of who it was from. there was a sheet which read "7280285E" . and then below it the address of where an abandoned building used to be, the same one you and osamu would sneak into when you were 15. but why would he put the emergency armed vault's code too? until you remembered the building was demolished and turned into an apartment complex.

it hit you immediately after what you needed to do, you added up all of the individual numbers in the code: 7+2+8+0+2+8+5. equalling to 32. osamu wouldn't stop there. 3+2=5. searching up the new building, the apartments that were in there did have one called 5E. you knew that was where osamu wanted you to go.

once the day was over, you got into your car and just drove. you smiled at the kind receptionist as you beelined for the elevator. the glowing circle with an 'E' in the middle was begging you to push it. as you were carried up you felt nervous. what if it wasn't him? what if it was the worst news ever behind that door?

walking as fast as you could without appearing suspicious, you found the door. the keypad stared at you as you knew what code was needed for access. "7280285". engraved into your memory. walking in felt like a fever dream.

a large cardboard box sat on the counter of the unfurnished room waiting to be a home. opening it carefully revealed books. classics, new releases, romance, fantasy.. and then your favourite at the bottom. the spine was broken and it was completely annotated?

you skimmed over the pages noticing every paragraph there was a word highlighted in a familiar green, contrasting the purple covering the rest of the words. the green words read in order:

stars, crows, television, don't, worry, sweet, safety, is, here, come, every, 4th, weekday, dogs, grouse, naive, they, it, noodles

you couldn't help but laugh at the random words he sprinkled in. but your message was clear on how to communicate with him. every thursday you will leave a book mindlessly annotated for him to read between the lines of and he will do the same.

it won't be easy, but you will find eachother again.

sorry this was long and for not updating the past few days! i was busy writing this and my practices were all over the place! i got carried away but i think i will work on some multis stuff because those seem to be loved. thank you for all the kind messages and i love to speak to people!

[warden-anders]

ok, so. lucanis's recruitment quest doesn't make a whole lot of sense at first glance, so this is my attempt of putting together what the fuck you walked into and what daily life there was like.

to start, i don't believe the room you meet lucanis in is his cell at all. i think lucanis had succeeded in 85% of his breakout when you recruit him. the cells that were shown were much smaller and more sparse, I believe he was not given special treatment. I believe he managed to kill the guard bringing his meal, broke out, got his gear back (armor, sweater, knives, etc), and killed MOST of the guards. the sheer number of guards caught up to him, and some mages managed to encase him in ice and lock the door with red lyrium while waiting for someone else to bring his blood so that they could transfer him back to his cell.

I can't decide how much, if at all, spite showed himself in the ossuary before his attempted breakout. part of me wants to say that he spent the entire time as spite (lucanis's quote about how he survived by shutting down completely, be nothing, feel nothing, etc. makes me think that he genuinely just gave spite the reins), and the other part of me wonders what lucanis meant when he said that they were waiting for spite to burst from him like a cocoon. Like, the physical demon of spite, killing lucanis in the process? or the symbiotic relationship they have now, just manifesting physically like when he has the wings/is in control? I'm leaning towards the first one, though the feel nothing/be nothing quote could still apply if spite never showed himself.

as for the blood, i'm sure they used it often to walk him to the torture/experiment room and for, well, general human needs. that's why he knows its there.

side note. lucanis knew who a LOT of zaras people were, and mentions their role in the bloodbath quest. (helpfully named, as its the one with the bath. of blood.) when you kill one of zaras people, he mentions how this one used to come to the ossuary to read bones. why is he there for this? how long would he be kept on a torture table to know these things? how many times has he attempted to escape and gotten part of the way through before being stopped?

I DO wonder if spite could sense the red lyrium cage breaking and That be why he decided to break out of the ice right in that moment.

going back to the gear, its... well. a hilarious detail thats fitting to his character. its so tidy! he wears a little bolo tie! his shirt is completely laced to the top! hes got that HOMEMADE SWEATERRRRRRRR. all while attempting a prison break. I think it was supposed to add to the fear factor and thus go back to the crow training related to throwing the target off guard. also, probably helped with feeling more human instead of an experiment.

[zeeohoh]

OBX RAFE SMUT | MINORS DNI !

Tags : arguing, toxic!rafe, reader has female anatomy, oral, oral smut, slight fluff at the end(?).

A/N : NOT PROOF READ.

//

Rafe had been avoiding you for weeks now, his work, his dad, his friends, he has a million excuses to not see you, and you've finally had enough.

You were sat on your bed, watching Notting Hill, you had seen this movie a million times but hey, it's your favourite, you can never have enough.

It's a 21:00 on a Saturday, you were *supposed* to see Rafe, or at least, you had hoped you would, he's been blowing you off for weeks now, you guys had been going out for a few weeks but not everyone knew, and it would've been hard for anyone to believe it either because of how he treated you when you were around people you knew, it was like the better and comfortable you felt with him, the terrible he made you feel in public, in simple terms, he treated you like shit, Absolute. Pure. Shit. As if you're some fuck toy or something to help distract him and you only meant something to him when his body was on yours. You didn't entirely feel this way, he seemed to genuinely have feelings for you but his actions said otherwise, so you stopped, or you would've just been delusional. Tired of wanting him to treat you like an actual human being and tired of wrecking your brain over being torn because you felt he had feelings for you but he acted like you mean nothing, and treating you like a nobody, you grab your phone and block him, his number, his instagram, anywhere you have him on your phone, you block him, throw your phone on your pillow and continue playing the movie.

02:19 *ring* *ring*

Your eyes flutter open as you realize you fell asleep watching the movie, you're broken out of yours thoughts as you realize what woke you up in the first place, your front door bell ringing.

Who the fuck is at my door at 2 in the damn morning?

You get off your bed, quickly grab your robe and a baseball bat you kept by the shoe rack and peek through the keyhole, it was hard to make out who it was because of the rain, but you recognised the familiar silhouette of a certain Cameron. You sigh and open the door.

"What the fuck Rafe? Look at the time"

"I couldn't reach you anywhere, you wouldn't answer my calls, my texts wouldn't send, what else was I supposed to fucking do? You cut me off everywhere Y/N"

"Just..get inside, you're gonna catch a cold"

"I don't care Y/N"

You take a step aside to let him in , you barely turn around before he grabs your wrists in his hands and pins you to the wall,

"RAFE"

He's so close that you can feel him breathing on you

"Why'd you do it Y/N? Do you really want me out of your life? Is that what you want?"

"It's not like I mean shit to you anyways, Rafe"

"That's not true"

"Like fuck it is, you treat me like absolute shit, you purposely go out of your way to make me feel terrible, you want my attention but you'd rather ask for it by belittling me infront of everyone, by talking down to me or treating me like I'm just someone you use to distract yourself from whatever the fuck you need to be distracted from, sometimes the shit you say isn't even funny, it's straight up childish and immature and rude, I shouldn't even have let you in after the shit you've said and the shit you've done, I deserve better than how you treat me. "

You could barely finish your sentences without feeling the need to choke up.

"Y/N I-"

"You used to make me feel so good, so safe but now I'm scared to even talk to you because I know nothing nice is gonna come up and I'm gonna get hurt again, I know we're supposed to be just casual but I just didn't think you'll treat me like I'm a nobody to you"

Rafe's gaze softened, and his hands went from your wrists to your shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness because of the things I've said and how I've treated you, but I can't lose you, I don't want to do this without you Y/N, I can't justify why I've said what I've said, what can I do to make it up to you? I'll do anything, I never realized how much it could've affected you, I was being a dick, I'm so, so sorry"

"I know I shouldn't even be talking to you rn, John B would kill me"

Rafe took your hands in his and placed a kiss on the back of both hands. He peppered kisses all over your hands, working his way up to your wrists, your arms, your shoulders, and eventually, your neck, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear and nibbled on the sensitive skin right next to your jaw, which he knew makes you go crazy.

You shuddered under his touch and, out of habit, leaned into him, your head resting on his chest, kissing it, you turned up to look at him, your faces barely inches apart, and close the distance. You plant a kiss on his lips, it was soft, gentle, loving. His hands wander from your neck to your back, you guide his hands to your waist, he gives you a gentle nudge and following his cue, you lift yourself and he picks you up, wrapping your legs around him, his focus goes to your neck and you shudder, he takes that opportunity and slips his tongue in, his movements grow more eager as he softly grinds himself against you, grabbing everywhere you'd let him, at this point, you're both breathing each other, he's kissing you like he's gonna lose you tomorrow, like it's the last time he'll ever have you, your tongues move in a rhythm and your bodies are connected.

"Let's go inside" you say and he takes you to your room, he gently lays you down on your bed, not breaking the kiss once, not letting go of you even. once.

"May I?" He asks you as he nudges your top

You get up and help him remove the tshirt you slept in, he immediately went back to kissing your neck, your collarbone, and slowly made his way down to your chest. He took one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around, gently sucking on it, you let out a soft sigh as he bit it gently while his other hand gave attention to your other one, toying with it, kneading it then he switched to the other one, doing the same as he did for the previous one.

"Let me make you feel good ma"

He made his way further down, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses.

"Tell me if you want me to stop ,okay?"

You just hummed in agreement

"No, I want to hear you say it, tell me if I'm going too far, and I'll stop."

"I don't want you to stop"

He tugged at the waistband of your shorts, and you lifted yourself up, helping him take them off.

"Turn the lights off,Rafe, I don't want you to look at it"

"You're beautiful, every part of you Y/N" he says as he gets up and turns the lights off, finding his way back to you, he plants gentle kisses on your inner thighs, softly massaging them. He slowly made his way to your core, planting a gentle kiss over your clothed core.

You squirmed in the bed, edging your body closer to his mouth, growing more impatient by the second.

"Easy now, I'm getting there" he said as he took your underwear off, folding it up and keeping it next to your bed, he licked a long stripe eliciting a soft moan from you, he latched himself onto your clit, lightly sucking on it, focusing on how you react to it, once he's satisfied, he pushes his tongue inside you, he speeds up exponentially, he's going down on you like a man starved, like you're the last meal he'll ever have, he doesn't slow down, he doesn't stop, he barely comes up for air, he only has one thing on his mind, making you come. Your hands find their way to his hair, grabbing them and tugging at them.He violently thrusts his tongue in and out of you, practically abusing your clit while you're a moaning mess, he hooks your legs over his arms to grip you and hold you down as you squirm and push yourself onto his face, his nose is lightly bumping against your clit, your moans turn him on and he started grinding against the bed, he suddenly inserts a finger in you which make you arch your back, pumping in and out of you, hitting your g spot as his thumb makes it way to your clit and rubs circles on it, while his other hand grabs your breast and plays with it, the sudden increase in stimulation drive you closer to your edge, your eyes are shut, you can't say anything, you can't think of anything other than how good his mouth feels, how good he's making you feel, you feel the burning sensation, signalling you're not that far

"Rafe I'm gonna-"

He doesn't even let you finish that sentence before he speeds up, you didn't think it was possible for him to go faster, but he was, the room is silent except for the moaning mess he's made of you and the unholy sounds he's making as he eats you out, he can feel how close you are, he hums in satisfaction.

"It's okay, come for me" You can feel the smirk he has on his face as he says it

Right as he finishes his sentence, you came. hard, harder than you've probably ever come. You're a panting mess, he slows down his movements but he doesn't stop, helping you ride out your high, once he's sure, he gets up and grabs a towel, cleaning you up, he kisses your thighs and helps you up on the bed, and lays down next to you. He holds you close and whispers in your ear

"I'm so sorry for ever making you feel like you mean less than to me than you actually do, I won't do it again"

"It's easier said than done, Cameron, don't make me regret giving you another chance"

you turn to face him and bury your face in his chest, slowly drifting away into a peaceful sleep as he plants a kiss on your forehead and holds you close. He'll spend as long as it is needed to make up for how he treated you, taking care of you and cherishing you for as long as you'd have him.

[ritualofcirice]

Lucifer's Response (Letter Three, a Lucifer x Reader)

🐑 ♡ Continued thanks to Sycamore for beta'ing, you're the sweetest sweet ♡🐑

You sent a love letter to Lucifer, and he responded.

Teen and Up Audiences, No Warnings, F/M, M/M, Other/M, Tag(s): Love Letters, Fluff, Awkwardness, Gift Giving, Emotional Baggage, Ambiguous Gender Reader, POV Second Person

Find it on ao3 ♡ WC: 801

Chapter 3

Letter Three

With the arrival of your letter, you were more than excited to dig into its contents. Then you were given a box wrapped in hand painted paper and tied up in a pretty bow. There was nothing that could have calmed you down when you received that box. You danced around the room with it like it was your partner in a musical number until you heard a clunk. It was safe to say you decided to settled down after that.

You didn’t want to break it. Whatever ‘it’ was.

It took you three excruciating minutes to peel the paper off of the gift without ripping it, and you folded it with care to put aside for safe keeping. Part of you admired the craftsmanship, while another part of you fretted about the lack of storage you would have if Lucifer kept giving you beautiful things most considered trash.

You did not need to keep the wrapping paper. Was that going to stop you? No.

What you pulled out of the box was a duck. Little legs dangled beneath it as you scooped it up, and you spied a card inside that had ‘instructions’ written across the top. You turned to the letter for any other information, but moreso because you wanted to lose yourself in the words of the person you cared for.

Nothing could compare to him.

‘Dear my darling Secret Admirer, Okay, there is a lot to get through and limited paper. First, I hope the gift made it to you. I’m not sure if they're going to be delivered at the same time, but I hope so. I won't spoil the surprise if that's the case. If they are together then surprise! I hope you like it! I wanted to give you a little something back since that folded paper duck you gave me was amazing. Amazing like crazy amazing. It’s so cute, and I love the googly eyes. I spent the good part of an evening trying to find a fitting home for the tiny thing. Given my last letter, I thought the gift I gave to you would hold somewhat more sentimental value. There are instructions for how to make it work too. I popped them in simple terms, but if you can’t get it working please let me know! Second, I wanted to let you know that your suggestion is most appreciated. I just want to ask again though, what if I’m not who you think I am? I’m not saying no to your offer to meet up somewhere, on the contrary! Just name a place and a time, and I’ll be there! I know we’re getting to know each other, and you seem lovely, genuinely lovely. There’s no problem. The problem is me. Ignore what I said about no problems. It has been a long time since I’ve been out is all. No doubt the culture in Pride hasn’t changed at all either, and a gun fight doesn’t make for a good place to relax! I bet you like your food as blood free as I do. Please tell me you don’t eat people. I might need some time to accommodate to your appetite if you do. Do you want to come over to mine? It’s okay if not, I want you to be comfortable. And again you can pick wherever, but if you want to visit me then you’re welcome. Is it okay for me to invite you over on a first date? I would like it to be a date if you’d give me the honour. I gather that was your intention with the offer. Anyway, I’ll get to my third point. I haven’t done anything like this in a long time. Like a long, long, long time. It’s me all on my lonesome! Still, I want to make this work, and to do that I have to tell you that I'm struggling. I'm not perfect. I need honesty because I don't think I could handle losing someone else right now. Knowing this, please tell me if you don't want to see me anymore. Or even send letters. I’d understand if you didn't want to. I wouldn't blame you. It's not your job to pick up the pieces with me, but you'd have to watch if you were by my side. I wouldn’t want you to step on any shards and hurt yourself. You terrify me because all I want is to meet you. I do. I want to know the face of the person who had the kindness to reach out to me. I love you, and I'm sorry for all of this. As I say, just name a time and a place. Or never. Whatever you choose, I will honour it. You have my word. Kind regards, Lucifer M.’

♡ Next Chp ♡ Love Letter Series Masterlist ♡ Previous Chp ♡

[shirohige-pirates]

A Truly Mythological Christmas

Cisfem!Reader x Marco the Phoenix

Also on Wattpad // Ao3

18+ - this story is going to get steamy in ways not allowed for your holiday Lifetime specials. Swearing, cheating, assassins, intrigue - you know, all that simple small town stuff.

Chapter 25: Christmas Day Part 2

You wore a nice wool dress with a Christmas knit to it, with bright snowy buttons down the front and thin sleeves. It wasn’t something you would’ve worn to a party in the city, but for the small town gathering it fit right in. The white stockings and mary jane styled simple black low heeled shoes were enough to keep you warm on the back porch, and not too warm even when you were inside.

Marco wore a knit turtleneck and dress slacks. Knowing he had a white t-shirt underneath with suspenders kept nipping at the back of your mind, but you supposed it was fair.

His eyes kept wandering to the necklace you were wearing.

Fortunately, the sheer number of people at the manor kept you both distracted, but you never wandered too far from one another. The number of people who knew the two of you were an item was going to rise exponentially after tonight, and there wasn’t much you were going to have to say in regards to it.

“You look beautiful,” Izou compliments you, looking down to your shoes and back up. “I imagine it’s a little dressed down for what you usually do during the holidays.”

You smile and nod. “Yeah, but I think I like this better. It’s just more comfortable.” You give his outfit a look over in return. He’s not in his usual kimono style, but a nice button up with a faux turtleneck styled collar. It’s rimmed in a rich green, with a gold button off to one side. The vest he’s wearing is a deep dark collection of greens and reds, in a plaid design with thin lines of gold stitched through it.

It’s elegant, and understated, but the dress slacks and shined leather shoes bring it together well. It’s easy to forget how Izou was no less built than his brothers, and when he wore something that fit him so snugly it was a little more apparent.

“You look handsome,” you offer in return. “I like the gold highlights.”

“I appreciate the praise, little sister.” He says it so smoothly you almost miss the last word. Nearly choking on nothing but air you cover your mouth and look at him red-faced.

He has the most unassuming and pleasant smile on his face, and it kind of makes you want to punch him.

“Ah, I suppose, future little-.”

“Izou!” You nearly squeak the word and he laughs.

“I wasn’t entirely sure, mind you, but I am now.” He grins and you contemplate scuffing the toe of his shoes.

“We’ve… barely started dating.” You grumble, but you aren’t sure what else to say. Izou spares you, humming in agreement but saying nothing more.

Whitey Bay comes over to where you are and you give her a smile. She’s got Marco with her, and she’s wearing a deep blue dress with a pearl necklace and white heels. Her hairs done up with holly and white pins. It’s a little intricate compared to most others, but it works for her.

“Bay, don’t-.” Marco starts, and she waves him off.

“There’s no reason for me to hold back with her,” she huffs, standing nearby and looking down at you. It wasn’t like she was trying to be intimidating, but she was every inch as tall as Marco, and in the heels she stood a little taller.

You fake concern, looking up at her. “Please don’t kill me, Bay.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” Smiling, she bends down and gives you a hug. “Don’t be mad at the boys for filling me in.” Leaning back she looks at you with genuine concern. “I’m sorry you had to deal with the Charlottes at all.”

You shrug, a warm smile on your lips. “Katakuri is a good man.”

“You were not engaged to Katakuri.” She says simply and you smile.

“You’re not wrong.”

“But Marco?” She inquires, her tone turning teasing. “Of all my beautiful brothers, you pick the pineapple?”

Marco’s behind her, his head in his hand in defeat. There’s nothing you can say that isn’t going to make him more embarrassed, and that was Bay’s entire ploy. He was regretting every time you got him to call her Old Bay. She had a couple years on him, and he imagined this was just his elder sister taking her due.

“Fineapple maybe.” You reply evenly.

Bay’s eyes go wide for a second before she laughs.

“Don’t ever say that around me again.” Izou says flatly. “It’s terrible. You two are peas in a pod.” He grumbles affectionately, his words muttered into his champagne flute.

“Jealousy doesn’t go well with your vest.” You tease, and Bay puts a hand over her mouth. You’re pretty sure you hear Marco snort, but he’s put himself behind his sister so Izou can’t see his face.

“Ah but it does,” Izou retorts smoothly, pointing to the vest. “It brings out the green in my eyes.” You and Bay laugh, and Marco comes out from behind his sister and stands next to you.

“Seriously though, I’m happy for you both. It took you fools ten years too long to sort it out.” You can feel your face heating up at his words, and Marco slips his fingers between yours. “But Christmas Miracles and all that nonsense, so I guess it’s alright.”

“I agree with Izou,” Bay adds, giving you an oddly admonishing smile. “I’m glad you both got there.”

“We just started dating.” You say in exasperation.

“They say your partner should be your best friend.” Bay offers with a wink. “You’ve had that part down for nearly thirty years. I think our assumptions are well-founded.”

“Hypotheses one might even say.” Izou adds and you stick your tongue out at him. “The fact that you both stuck your tongue out at me says everything.”

Tongue still out, you look up at Marco and catch his tongue going back into his mouth. Looking down at you he just smiles, tapping the tip of your nose as you put your tongue back where it belongs.

“Ugh. I love you both, but I’m going to step away before I get a cavity.” He sighs dramatically, putting a hand on your shoulder as he walks off.

“I hope we’re not actually making him feel bad.” You say and Bay hums.

“Nah, Izou’s happy for you both. He’s just trying to go easy on you.” She clarifies. “Speaking of, I need to find my other half before he starts getting beer making tips from Rakuyo. I don’t want to lose an entire bathroom to shenanigans again this coming year.”

“Back into the fray?” Marco questions as Bay walks off and leaves the two of you be.

Shaking your head you tug him down to kiss him on the cheek. “I’m going to the game room to check on Mom and the boys. I promised Ace and Sabo I would come back.”

“Alright, are you going back as the honorable sister, or do I get to tag along?”

Laughing, you tug him along. The hall down to the game room is emptier than the living room and back deck, but there are people scattered all along the first floor. Some taking a break from the cacophony of the main areas, some going to the secondary kitchen to help the people with a feast that’s often more grand, and harried, than the earlier Autumn feast, and some just meandering as they chat.

Ace, Sabo and Luffy are more than happy to monopolize both you and Marco, pulling you into different conversations and games. Luffy was very good for Dadan that morning while everyone was getting ready, and your mom praises him for it.

Sabo assures you that it was mostly him and Ace, but it’s kind of a Christmas gift for Luffy, so they’ve been letting it slide.

You play video games with most of them, Marco and Dadan keeping Luffy entertained while he beat Ace and Sabo at the racing game they’ve been playing. You quickly become their #1 target, and you’re glad to see them working together faster with the racing game than they had with the card game.

It didn’t save them this time, however, since you weren’t being held back by the chaos gremlin that was Luffy.

“Sorry boys.” You say as you pass the last flag. “Broke my leg my sophomore year and was mostly laid up for six weeks.” You explain, tilting your head toward the older console. “Played this racing game for days. You two didn’t do too bad though, you’ll be some real competition soon.”

Sabo smiles, but Ace grumps. “You don’t have to say that. We can handle losin’.”

“I’m not just saying it though,” You assure him, ruffling his hair. “I’ll be back, so just keep practicing.”

“Don’t mess up his hair.” Dadan says, brushing her fingers through Luffy’s unruly locks.

“It was-.” You pause looking back as Ace combs his fingers through his hair, every bit as unruly as Luffy’s. “Good luck.”

Food is called and you file out of the game room. Instead of sitting across from Marco this time, you’re next to him, with just Sabo and Ace in between you. Luffy’s on the other side of you and Dadan’s next to him. Her girlfriend sitting next to her.

The rest wasn’t too different from the other celebration. Platters and serving bowls are passed out. People call for condiments and specific dishes. The kitchen is a clatter of a second round of cooking making more of the things they could make more of, in the time that it took people to eat.

The chaos of the start of the meal turns into a quiet murmur once people’s plates are full, and most are distracted by the important task of eating. Random conversations pop up here and there as plates are emptied, filled, and emptied again. Chatter resumes, reaching a near fever pitch of laughter and critical limit of how many conversations can be going on at a single time.

Someone raises a glass to Pops and the whole manor follows suit. For a moment even the kitchen is still and quiet.

The somber moment is broken by levity and the laughter that follows is dappled with stories of the old man and his children. The stories become lighter and the evening brightens properly.

After the meal there’s an exchange of gifts. It’s mostly the children opening them, being provided a seemingly endless supply of brightly wrapped gifts. Glee-filled sounds and shouted thanks ring out in the living room. A couple people take video and many more take pictures, snapping borders around the moments of time that will one day be talked about after glasses have been raised in memory.

You lean against Marco, who leans against the wall, his arms crossed lazily against your shoulders, as you both watch it unfold. No one asks if the two of you have gifts to exchange, almost the entire manor knows where your necklace came from. Occasionally, Marco would press a kiss into the crown of your head, hug you a little closer to his chest, make sure you were doing okay, and ask if you needed to sit down.

Thatch came over at one point and held a sprig of mistletoe over the two of you.

Marco lifted your hand up to his lips, kissing your fingers and the back of your hand. Something about the action was more embarrassing than if he had just tipped your head back and kissed you. You blushed. Thatch blushed.

No one else came around with mistletoe.

By the time things had settled and Dadan was letting you know she was ready to go, you were in the big chair by the fire place. The boys were passed out around you and Marco was sitting nearby.

They’d come up and told you about, and showed you, most of the gifts they got. The big chair was an easy fit for all of you and over about ten minutes the conversations went from being full of energy to full of yawns. Luffy was tucked under one arm, Sabo under the other - he’d fallen asleep while asking about your new necklace, and Ace was sprawled across all three of you. Currently he was snoring softly into Luffy’s knees, his own legs tangled between Sabo’s.

You’d gotten Marco to take a couple pictures for you, and the two of you had talked quietly while they napped.

Carrying them to the wagon, you sigh into the cold air.

“These guys are making going back home a little difficult.” You admit.

“You’ll come back and visit plenty.” Marco hums.

“We can come out and visit you too.” Dadan offers, tucking Ace into the wagon. “It might not be until I can get the paperwork cleared on the boys, travel gets trickier otherwise.”

After tucking Luffy in to his seat you straighten up and wipe a couple errant tears from your cheeks.

“You two are gonna end me,” you sniffle. “I really wasn’t expecting so much support about staying in the city.”

“You like it/You’re happy.” They answer at the same time and you snort a soft half-laugh.

“If I thought you were indecisive, I’da pushed, I won’t lie.” Dadan admits, getting into the wagon as you and Marco get Sabo sorted. “But you weren’t lookin’ for guidance.”

You give Marco a hug and he leans down, giving you a quick kiss goodbye before opening the wagon’s door for you.

“Be safe, ladies.” He says, closing the door, giving you a wave as Dadan pulls away.

“I remember someone saying something about not wanting any romance during her holiday.” She teases, her tone flat.

You grin. “I said I didn’t want people to go about playing matchmaker.” You clarify. “I never said anything about what matching I did myself.”

“Mm, but it wasn’t you doing the matching, was it?”

You feel your face flush, your fingers fiddling with the necklace. “He gets a pass.”

“He gonna move out there with you?”

“Maybe.” You answer plainly. “He’s going to fly out and help me adjust to the new job, and we’ll go from there. I’m hopeful, but I’m also nervous.”

“Understandable.” Dadan agrees. “That’s your best friend.”

You look over at her and wait until you get stopped by a stop sign. “S’why you keep you an Kokoro quiet?”

She grunts. “I don’t talk about it much cause we’re both old and it ain’t no one’s business. Certainly not no suit coming down to see if’n me and my home are fit for those boys.”

“A valid point.” You agree. “Let me get you a lawyer.”

“I can afford one.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t.” You retort with a smile on your face. “I won’t say I owe you for what you did mom, cause it’s what mom’s do, but I can help. I worked hard to be able to help.

“So let me help.”

There’s silence between you for a while, but you can see the smile on her face from the corner of your eye. Her pride doesn’t want to accept help, but your words are worth more than her pride, because they make her proud of you.

“Who went and gave you that stubborn streak?” She teases, trying to hide her own feelings under the half-heartedly grumbled tone.

“Some bear of a mountain woman.” You reply quietly, smiling to yourself as your fingers idly fiddle with the necklace Marco gave you.

[nuri148]

I have found the AOT fandom to be weirdly filled with anti shippers. Lots of people there who genuinely believe that what you write about in fiction depicts your real-life values. It’s particularly weird because AOT is a tragedy filled with lots of dark tropes. I imagine you’re often a victim to these anti shippers, since you’re a rivamika shipper. What are your thoughts on the subject?

Hello Anon! You are right that it is indeed ironic how a manganime that so good exemplifies how nothing is black and white in the world has gathered so many binary-minded followers, who aren't just incapable of considering nuance, but also too quick to jump to the wrong conclusions and are way, way too quick and self appointed to judge the moral standing of random strangers in the web.

Thankfully for me though, I've kept myself clear from their line of fire so far. I believe there are several factors that contribute to that.

I came to the AoT fandom late—in 2021, and didn't open a Tumblr account until 2022. By then, I'd been lurking in several websites long enough to see that there were a number of people with no reading comprehension or common sense screaming incest and/or pedophilia or simply whining bc other people have a different OTP from them.

By the time I started looking for fics and a fandom space, I was already a rm shipper, and so were the first people I connected with here. So they schooled me too. And mind you, for all the purity-culture-rotten antis out there, we're a really chill, down-to-earth bunch. I was lucky to find such nice fellow fans & shippers from early on. So when I ran into the not-so-nice once, I was prepared.

There's also the fact that I avoid confrontation like the plague and I come here to have fun, not to fight with anyone. If I see or get a comment of the "they're cousins" or "yuck age gap" persuation, and I think the author is ignorant rather than abduces, I might link them to my post on Levi's age or one of @onigiri-dorkk's explanation of the Ackerman's family tree hoping they might read them and reflect, but I'm not out to convince anyone of anything.

Last but not least, I'm turning 50 this year. I've a husband, a job, a mortgage, so to put it simply: I'm too old for this shit.

If they come to my inbox with actual hate, I mostly block and don't even grace them with an answer. I'm happy to say, it hasn't happened often.

Everybody's free to hate any ship, but don't give me factually wrong excuses to hate it, and don't accuse anyone of rl shit based on what they ship. Especially when the ship's members are entirely fictional characters.

Oh, and it goes without saying, same as you you chatter with your fellow shippers about your OTP, if you want to share the hate for your NOTP, do it with like-minded haters, like a normal person, instead of going to random people' ask boxes 's blogs to spew your vitriol.

Thank you for your ask!