#I do need to do more information than “she fucking died lmao” at some point

[hereforyourdispleasure]

Dani plagues my mind rn. Analysis at some point

[l0v3tast3]

More young!reader and 141 maybeeee? I feel like I just need more headcanons and drabbles

Also maybe like, 141 reacting to reader randomly dropping information like "well, my mum's an alcoholic and she used to beat me"

And this is me speaking from experience cause I do that and like 🥲

✎ i think i got this request like almost a month ago now i am. so sorry lmao but i'm actually getting to it and that's what counts right? right. i pumped this out in like 2 hours which if you knew how i write you would be very impressed 😎

✎ tags: young!reader, military!reader, not proofread im too cool for that, just general fluff like one mention of simon being angsty about u dying ig?

♡ so soap and the reader are definitely really good friends. i don't really think he's like super "mushy"? i guess? like some people make him out to be (not that there's anything wrong with that i love that trope) because like, look at him. i love him but some of the stuff he says in the games is like super fucking #militaryman if that makes sense lmao

♡ you're friends in a sibling kind of way. you make fun of each other all of the time and play pranks with (and on) each other. he goes rough on you when you're sparring but always makes sure you're okay afterwards. a lot of the time he talks to you like you're a little kid in an annoying tone just to piss you off.

♡ simon definitely didn't really want to like you at first, partly because he didn't want to get close to you in case you died or got seriously injured or captured or whatever else could possibly happen. but you literally weaseled your way in as his friend.

♡ after a few weeks of being with the team, you picked up on their likes and dislikes. in particular, you learned which foods simon liked at the cafeteria, you learned what kind of books he read, etc. etc. and so ensued you doing nice things for him.

♡ you would grab him the protein bar he liked from the vending machine when you went to grab yourself or someone else something. if you went somewhere with cheap books, you would grab him one that was similar to what you saw him reading last. you always made it a point to get him cheap things so you could refuse if he tried to pay you back.

♡ most of the time, though, he would say he didn't want it when you handed it to him. you would just shrug and tell him to give it to someone else (you see him with whatever you got him not long after). other times, you'll just sit down next to him and talk to him out of nowhere. towards the beginning, it was more of you talking at him, but that was okay with you. it took longer than the others, but you wormed your way into his cold heart.

♡ price is your new father. he gives you advice on literally everything, whether or not you ask for it (you almost never do). he does the dad thing of the hands on the hips and legs kinda spread while he explains the topic in depth. he has a very vast wealth of knowledge, you come to learn.

♡ i feel like one time you would comment on price's outfit, saying it looked good and matched well one day and he would kind of take it to heart. from then on he'll occasionally ask you how his outfit is that day. he'll play it off as if he's joking, but deep down he's actually curious. you always make fun of him for the hat that's seemingly glued to his head, though.

♡ gaz fully leans into becoming your older brother. he doesn't deny it, he just laughs when someone says anything. also i feel like he'll literally do anything you want to do. he'll go shopping with you, he'll go to bookstores or antique stores or crystal places, literally anywhere. it's gotten to the point where you just tell him to go with you and he just grabs his coat.

♡ he also will play any video game with you and he always beats you at it. it literally does not matter if he's never even heard of this random game you just pulled out of some alternate dimension, he'll be better than you at it. he's also absolutely clueless about his natural talent; if you ask him what the hell he's doing right, he's just like "huh? 🤨🤨"

♡ yeah in regards to randomly dropping trauma like it's nothing, it's definitely a smack in the face to all of them. they talk about the time they almost died in a firefight or when they got shot several times over, but they don't talk about the "deep" stuff.

♡ so it's like, you say some shit like "yeah my [super close person] died when i was really young that was #rough lol" and they all just slowly turn their heads to you like "what the actual fuck did you just say" and you're just like "what's going on why did we stop talking 🧐"

♡ they either move on to a new conversation after several long moments of silence or you just don't notice and continue talking like you didn't just give them mental whiplash.

♡ also so like i'm the type of person that loves clutter and just wants to decorate the hell out of my apartment n shit right? so like if you're also that kind of person and you just amass all this stuff in your room and put in shelves and lamps and posters and pictures covering every wall (even though it's probably against some military code or rules or whatever) and they got a peek they're just like "what the fuck"

♡ every time price sees it he tells you to clean it up but it's half-hearted at best. you tell him he's just jealous of all of your cool stuff, and he secretly is (if you're a mini-fridge kind of person he would definitely want to steal it from you).

♡ if you don't really decorate your room that much or just don't have a lot of stuff, they all get you little things to clutter up your space with. kyle and you come up with a system of buying each other a gift whenever you go shopping together, and he's good at remembering what you like.

♡ i think simon likes carving wood in his spare time, and you'll see him doing this and say that's really cool and good, and he's always just like "ya want it?" and tosses it at you. you don't bother asking if he's sure he wants to give it to you because he already pulled out another block of wood to carve into.

♡ they all also will fight literally anyone for you once you all get closer. you're probably one of, if not the youngest person working in the entire compound and they know how people talk, and if they hear anyone saying anything bad about you for any reason they shut that shit down immediately. you are good, in every aspect, and they all will let everyone know that.

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season 14 because i’m still hanging on by a thread)

-why did megan hunt have a fresh coat of mascara and some lip gloss on when she got flown in with her gaping abdominal wound LMAO

-teddy!!!!!

-i absolutely think they should tell megan about meredith and riggs and let her make an informed decision on whether she wants meredith to be her surgeon. this is greys anatomy, of course there’s gonna be a conflict of interest. they’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.

-somebody tell me when the show stops being worth watching. so far i’m hanging on bc i’m mildly interested in how jo and alex turn out, i want teddy and amelia to interact, and i’ve warmed up to arizona since she broke up with callie. obvi i love meredith i just don’t know how much more they can do with her before i just want her to take a warm bath and retire to somewhere far far away with her children.

-did amelia relapse offscreen???? wtf is going on???

-okay she has a tumor i guess. sure, okay, whatever. !!!!

-she put a gun in her !!!!!!!!! for a man???

-i don’t love the way they’ve introduced the new intern class. they set it up as if we already know them, whereas i feel like with every other class of interns we’ve gotten eased into it a bit more before we’re just tossed into this unfamiliar dynamic

-okay but wait i do like that in this ep w the roller coaster (and the people who are supposed to be baby cristina, george and izzie) they referenced the old intro. i think the writers knew they needed a little nostalgia to hook people back in at this point. jury is still out whether or not it’s working on me.

-maybe i’m stupid but why in the fuck would they have so many important things dependent on one networked computer system. why on earth would cardiac monitors be hackable?????

-idk about maggie/jackson…. seems too incest adjacent

-the casual gaslighting and manipulation with paul stadler is so well written

-“jackson avery, you are such a disappointment, i thought you were woke!!!”

-genuine question: do they just not do chemistry reads on this show when they cast romantic interests???

-*choked up*”right before she died, she told me i should be more slutty. and i just wish i could call her and tell her how slutty i’m being” i really do love maggie

-maybe i missed it but why does carina have an italian accent but andrew doesn’t?

-i like the development of jo and meredith’s relationship

-i think meredith and this firefighter woman should kiss on the mouth

-i like april better now that she’s kind of a mess

-OOH wait does helm have a little crush on meredith bc i’m kind of obsessed with that

-if there’s one thing greys usually kills it with its casting younger versions of characters for flashbacks

-i miss joe the bartender :(

-oh my god he gives them fake cancer so he can charge them for fake chemo?????? what the fuck

-too much of an emphasis on these lesbian cookies…. suspicious

-okay yeah that makes sense. i love this

-nurse olivia!!

-olivia of course has a right to still be upset but it’s a little weird to assume alex didn’t change at all in the past ten years. not to mention it’s weird to act morally superior about it now when she cheated on george with alex

-“if you wanna rebuild you have to tear it down first” bingo

-did i miss amelia getting her own place or is she taking this girl to meredith’s house??

-okay i guess she’s just moved in with owen again. i need to pay better attention lol but so much keeps happening and it’s a lot of mush to sift through

-“meredith grey is straight” “ever hear her talk about cristina yang?” LMAO

-PREGNANT?

[sugarepoxy]

hey sorry if this is weird but this is @chip-and-the-bastards (it's a sideblog so I can't ask with it) and since we're up against each other for the jrwi au showdown I wanted to ask about Blood in the Deadwood‼️ it seems like a cool au but tumblr search function isn't showing me if you have anything for it on this blog! So here take this as an opportunity to ramble about it and also maybe give some propaganda!

anyway feel free to ignore if you don't wanna aha :]

Oh HELLL YEAHHHHHH!!!!!

well first of all @tobeywobey was also very involved in making it so make sure you also give them creds ! ! He worked on a LOT of the lore so i really wanna give them proper creds lol. Also the search didnt work because both toby and I haven't post much of anything publicly about it LMAO

BASICALLY its the prime defenders characters but in a kind of Galloway/Deadwood hybrid place if that makes sense. Each character fills the role of another character(s) in blood in the bayou (for example cantrip basically plays the role of Becky in this au.) its pretty cannon compliant to the events of blood in the bayou, except for a few changes, like things happening for different reasons and events being changed. Also there is no superpowers in this au :)

the thing Toby and I changed most was probably the events leading up to the main three going back to deadwood. In this AU Dakota is the one that knows Ashe the best, Will and Vynce are less acquainted with her. This is because she fills the role of Rachel so we wanted it to closer match the relationship that Kian and Rolan had with her when they were younger. so basically Dakota introduces Ashe to the other two a couple years before the events of this AU take place in deadwood, and they all eventually leave for w own reasons. Will dies like in PD canon, is resurrected as a bug sorta like how Rolan is, except he knows that he's a bug and keeps it secret. Ashe goes missing suddenly and Mark immediately starts investigating. The boys talk to mark about any leads or information, and it all leads to Deadwood. Also somewhere along there Williams "parents" die. Some more noatable things that happen in these few years is that vynce and cantrip have a relationship thats more like a situationship, and the three of them start a dnd campaign but never finish it.

They all go to Deadwood Because of Ashe's disappearance but vynce and will also have other reasons. Vynce really wants to finish this fuckin dnd campaign, and will felt the most obligated to go because he's part of the hive (and also his parents funeral was happening there anyways.) Will is also the one that is the most hesitant to go in the first place.

Then the BITB cannon stuff happens! They greet Doug (who plays the role of rat in this AU,) go to quickstop, see The Horrors, all that stuff. They obviously react in different ways and do different things than the BITB pcs, but it all still leads to them going to points of interest and having the big events happen to them the same. One notable change is that Will sees doug in the alley, pasteified, but is really curious about what actually happened to him instead of being horrified of the human sludge (Will is so fucking insane in this au.) Another is that will convinces Dakota that they need to leave (like how kian does) but while they are driving away will and dakota get into an argument wich leads to dakota grabbing the wheel from him and they end up swerving into the membrane wall.

Unfortunately thats where we stopped writing stuff down lmao so for the propaganda section of this ramble i will be taking from the character info toby wrote

-PROPAGANDA TIME-

Vyncent is a huge fantasy nerd and he has those hot topic elf ear cuffs. Half of his character motivation is wanting to finish that godamn dnd game!!!

William wisp is 10x more insane

wiwi carries a shotgun around locked and loaded from the very beginning

vynce gets some cool buggy limbs :)

Ashe is trans mtf and in the notes we referred to getting bugged as "contracting malaria" so we called her "our malaria girlfriend" and now in my head ashe will always be my favorite malaria girlfriend ❤️

Mark kind of plays the role of John Rand and he is also in love with that stupid caveman show

Mark and tide have a perry and doofenshmirtz dynamic. They both have radically different theories on what is happening to the town and argue constantly, but when they aren't being crazy people they get along

Tide fills the role of Mr. Dickman and he has a secret bunker chalk full of beef stroganoff. He also has a huge fucking blackboard where he writes all his theories (he just has "MALARIA" written down in all caps)

Tide has a little bit of a crazy old guy reputation in town

Cantrip gets fucking shot by William because of a one sided rivalry wiwi has had since middle school

LE FROG IS OFFICER DUDES‼️‼️

This concludes the ramblings, i wish everyone happy voting and good luck in the au torment!!! :D

[doctorguilty]

bug husbandry etc

the temperature is getting better which means I should be able to keep my enclosures humid enough again (plus the water pillows help) so it's time to get new springtails I think...! my first batch did SO WELL for a while like there must have been thousands when I started with just a little plastic cup of them, but I think at some point my tanks dried out way too much faster than I could keep rehydrating so they all died off :C but I really do need more before it gets to be summer weather, because they made a HUGE difference in keeping mold growth down (before the isopod culture really boomed too), like, a good 85% LESS mold than I'm used to dealing with?

but I found a new shop to order from thats both cheaper and offers a bigger variety of springtails... got 100 tropical pink, which are good at surviving dry periods and breed well in moisture, and just because I was so tantilzed I got 100 blue podura because they apparently breed extremely prolifically AND their eggs are visible to the naked eye!?! INSANE!! I NEED THEM!

and this is motivation to clean my fucking hisser tank because I NEED that to be ready to add springtails in, with good refreshed substrate and nutrients and such. my dubia tank is still looking good though! also my powder orange isopods are still doing fairly well! I did lose some in the dry periods but overall they persisted, and I still have a separate container I continue culturing them in but the biggest hit that happened to them was one of the periods I was out of state, the person taking care of my bugs dropped the container and everything spilled out, and she tried to like put it all back the best she could but.. when she informed me I did not understand she meant she spilled the WHOLE thing I thought she meant a handful escaped and I was like oh it's fine do whatever .. so I didn't give detailed instructions what to do......... when I came back the substrate was like immensely soaked and the wrong food was put in it? ;;;; I wasn't mad but like oh god it just hasn't recovered to where it was in the hundreds of pods and I've been trying and trying.. but I'm hoping the better weather will help stimulate breeding and stuff... also I ordered a gallon of maple leaf litter to spread around for everyone, and I gotta hydrate more moss.. also REALLY need more cork but ALAS the site I was ordering from was sold out .. it's hard to find cork that isn't balls expensive

ALSO I don't have the space to size up on my hisser tank like I had at my old apt but they have continued to breed just INSANELY like I don't even know WHY they did so in the cold months when they're supposed to slow down, I have SO MANY NYMPHS AT ALL TIMES, HUNDREDS, every time I open the enclosure a bunch inevitably get out and I've just stopped trying to contain and catch every single one like I'm just like whatever man. so theres hisser nymphs roaming around my room all the time (it's not a concern b/c they're tropical and cant breed/infest, like, they basically just eventually turn up dead somewhere or I find em and finally toss them back in the tank), sometimes the random house spiders eat them LMAO but I gotta Do something about it like, get around to actually selling these guys as feeders or something

I take TOO GOOD OF CARE of my roaches I am SWIMMING in roaches I am up to my neck in roaches

I digress though I am so excited for the springtails to arrive, whenever they do

[cambius]

more in - game neph companion quest stuff !! ( unorganized and scattered but bear w me ) i’ve been thinking a lot about what i wanna do with neph’s backstory to tie into the main story of the game and i think i finally have it all figured out. this is if she was a companion character instead of the tav, because even though i can play her that way if i need to, i prefer playing her this way.

neph’s whole thing is that she has a fuck and kill powerful people for their souls and deliver those souls to her patron ( this crazy old, super powerful incubus ). her patron promises to free her soul if she fulfills their deal and hunts for him, never failing until the day she dies ( and she can’t kill herself to try and get out of it that way ). she is unaware that her patron is actually her birth father, an incubus who has been conceiving cambion children all over the realms for centuries to locate them at their lowest points, convince them to sell their souls, and then make them deliver souls to him in mass. he wants to use this mass of raw power to ascend to some sort of godhood. her quest in the very beginning is to locate, hunt and kill gortash on her patron’s orders, and she’s abducted by the nautiloid close to baldur’s gate.

neph still meets at the very least lae’zel on the nautiloid and gets the daunting information that she’s gonna be turned into a mind flayer in a matter of days, so obviously she’s fucking freaked. after the crash, she just assumes she flies to safety ( she can shift from her tiefling from to her winged cambion form ) and couldn’t remember doing so. she doesn’t know where she is or what to do, the only thing she can think to do in her panic is to try and complete her quest within the days she has left and deliver the soul to her patron so that he might help her. so, she flies away from the crash site and gets out of range of the artefact and falls under the influence of the absolute.

and it’s as though she just knew what she needed to do. she found herself at the goblin camp, completely forgoing her patron’s quest. in her mind, it didn’t matter anymore. she was perfect. she was needed now for far more important things, things that would make her far more powerful within the embrace of the absolute. nepharia can be found by the others here, as just another true soul boss, and she probably wouldn’t be hiding her demon form. i imagine she would be helping minthara try to get information about the grove, torturing that one guy way better than the goblins were ( dude wasn’t even missing any body parts lmao ).

however, when the others do come and she is in range of the artefact again, she is going to immediately have questions for whoever questions her. she would have learned at this point that she can use the tadpoles to poke into other peoples’ heads and man does she use that a lot. it’s a thing she practically abuses and doesn’t get better about for a long time. she would probably immediately do just that with the group, probing them for anything they might know. she would recognize immediately that her insane devotion to the absolute wasn’t of her own volition, she’s never worshiped anything but herself. she would never forsake her life, or her eternal soul, for some god. i guess it would be up to the player to decide whether or not they trust a devil to join them ( but she’s hella powerful as a cambion, and her demon form shreds lol ), and she would no doubt demonstrate just how useful she can be, helping them fight their way through goblins and true souls to free halsin for answers.

her main goal throughout the game is to get to baldur’s gate, because she still has a quest to complete for her patron, but that changes later once she finds out the truth about her patron. i mean, she’ll still kill gortash and the others, but not for her patron. she could go one of two ways, though:

there’s the evil path. she takes the stones for herself, dominates the elder brain and takes over the world with enough power to kill her patron and free herself. i’ve done this way and can do this way, for sure, but as much as it fits her chaotic evil vibe, i want the best for my demon baby <3

i like the idea of neph slowly developing her mortal empathy throughout the events of the game as she develops a bond with the people around her. this would be the first time she’s ever allowed herself to become close to other people, and she would be reluctant to let herself see them as people at first. normally, neph only sees mortals as things to play with, use, and discard when she’s finished, but she also never really was shown any other way to be. she was raised with any sort of love, guidance or support. speaking of, her other in-game quests even if she doesn’t go the evil route would be to 1. kill her father ( the man who sold her to a brothel when she was 15 ) and 2. kill her father ( her patron xD ). mad daddy issues all around over here. but eventually, especially if she has the support of other people obtaining her own freedom, i think neph could be a pretty decent person and break out of that cycle of abuse.

[rotisseries]

ok so like. joel shooting down the hospital had the perfect soundtrack to it because I was fucking sobbing. Like of COURSE ellie should be saved but there's just that horrible complexity of possibly saving the fucking world for more than just one person. Like Ellie I think would've said yes even if there was death, she's seen so much of it she's had to BE A PART OF IT so much this girl knows she's supposed to be more than she is and if that means dying? Of course she would. Dying is a lover to her a friend multiple lives an ENTIRE other world WHY was she living anyways. Ellie lost her ability to choose that for herself from the fireflies sure but also from Joel. I've had enough spoilers of tlou lmao I actually think I need them to feel alright Jndnwke but I know at least that at some point, Ellie finds out. Idk what happens to that information but also Joel dies and I don't fucking know if Ellie was on good terms with him 😭

Well anyways, I've seen the podcast for ep 1 and I cannot get over what they had said. That love was and is always going to be the driving force in tlou and I really think that's all you can say for """who's fault""" it was. There is no bad in the presense of love and there is no GOOD in the presence of love. I'm sick to my stomach about it anyways did you recognize ellies mom that was so fucking cool--

YES I DID RECOGNIZE ELLIE'S MOM HIIIIII ASHELY JOHNSON MISS ELLIE SENIOR HI!!! ANYWAY YES THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK!!! WHEN I HEARD THE MUSIC I LITERALLY STARTED FUCKING SOBBING IT'S THE SAME MUSIC FROM THE GAME UAHSGJDJENFJC AND YES ELLIE WOULD'VE SAID YES IF SHE'D KNOWN, OF COURSE SHE WOULD AND YES THE THING ABOUT THIS BEING A STORY ABOUT LOVE. THE LAST OF US IS FUNDAMENTALLY A STORY ABOUT LOVE IT'S A LOVE STORY IT SHOWS THE WAYS IN WHICH LOVE IS A DESTRUCTIVE AND VIOLENT FORCE. ELLIE AND JOEL ARE TWO CHARACTERS WHO SHOW LOVE THROUGH THE VIOLENT ACTIONS THEY'LL COMMIT FOR OTHERS. AND YES YOU CAN'T SAY "WHO'S FAULT" IT IS BECAUSE THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE STORY IS THAT EVERYONE IS ONLY EVER TRYING TO DO WHAT THEY THINK IS THE RIGHT DECISION. IN JOEL'S POSITION YOU WOULD DO WHAT HE DID, IN MARLENE'S YOU'D DO WHAT SHE DOES, IF YOU WERE THE DOCTOR YOU'D DO WHAT HE DOES. EVERYONE HAS DONE SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO SOMEONE AND SOMETHING GREAT TO SOMEONE ELSE. SOME PEOPLE TRY TO ARGUE ABOUT JOEL HAVING ACTUALLY BEEN IN THE RIGHT. LIKE THEY'LL TALK ABOUT WHY THEY THINK THE FIREFLIES WERE BAD OR COULDN'T REALLY MAKE A CURE, SO JOEL WAS ACTUALLY THE CORRECT ONE. BUT I HATE THAT TAKE BECAUSE IT CHEAPENS THE STORY AND JOEL'S CHARACTER!! JOEL ISN'T DOING THIS BECAUSE HE THINKS THE FIREFLIES ARE BAD. HE ISN'T SECRETLY THE HERO. IT'S A MODERN TROLLEY PROBLEM. LET 5 PEOPLE DIE OR KILL ONE BUT THE ONE IS YOUR DAUGHTER. HE GOT THE CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING HE COULDN'T DO AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY. HE GOT TO SAVE HIS DAUGHTER. AND WHAT HE DID WAS WRONG HE KNEW SHE WOULD'VE WANTED IT AND HE DAMNED THE WORLD AND HE KNOWS IT. WHAT HE DID WAS OBJECTIVELY BAD BUT HE DID IT FOR LOVE!!! AND THAT IS SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND SO MUCH BETTER THAN THERE BEING A RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER!!! AND THAT CONTINUES INTO PART 2!!!!! UGHHHH OH I'M SICK

[mammonprotectionsquad]

hjasjhasj I can't believe I actually finished a fic again xD I'll just see this as an early birthday present to myself, even if it's by a week lmao But yeah, here's the next part for the rivaling agencies AU :D Still not quite sure how to feel about it but at this point it just is what it is. So imma just yeet it onto the dashboard and disappear for a while again probably xD

Misunderstandings

Vanderwood x OC Talia

Another year, another birthday spent all alone. Usually Talia tried to snatch whatever mision she could get her hands on to keep her mind occupied, distracted from that day. But for whatever reason life really had it out for her and somehow there was nothing to do. So she found herself in a corner of a bar. Back to a wall where she was able to keep an eye on everything. Just because she had a day off it didn't mean she'd let her guard down. At least not completely. Besides, old habits died hard. "Can't believe I'm still alive with all my limbs attached", she muttered into her glass before taking a sip of the cocktail in it. Usually she went for straight stuff but that night she felt like trying something different. And the mixture of fruity and sweet was not all too bad. For a while she was able to just sit back, people watch a little and occasionally be torn between being happy for the people around her having fun with their friends and/or partners and a stinging feeling of jealousy. Which was about to get so much worse...

As the agent let her gaze wander, she spotted an all too familiar brunette over at the counter. The fact that he was wearing a leaopard print button up making her smile involuntarily. Typical... Though her expression fell as soon as a woman with long, red hair approached him. Getting all up in his personal space but even though she couldn't see Vanderwood's expression, it had to mean a lot when he let it happen. Meaning they were probably very close. Talia could feel her heart squeeze painfully, a sensation she hadn't had to deal with in so long that it was nearly overwhelming in that moment. Not to mention that the woman was gorgeous. Bright golden eyes that seemed to gleam in the dim light, shiny hair cascading down her back...

After quickly downing the rest of her drink, she slammed probably way more money than her drinks had cost on the table. She needed to get out, get away before he could spot her and how miserable she probably looked. Just disappear into the shadows. She'd done it a million times before, she was good at disappearing. Only that karma, or whoever else apparently wanted to play a sick joke on her, had a different plan. Because as she glanced back despite her better judgment, Vanderwood met her gaze, expression going from surprised to confused. The woman next to him seemed to notice that he was momentarily distracted and followed his line of sight, her head tilted to the side as she spotted Talia.

Fuck, was all she could think of as she finally, hastily left the bar, feet carrying her back home on autopilot as her brain went completely blank. Only when the door of her apartment closed behind her did she let out a shaky breath. Eyes burning from the tears she was trying her hardest to hold back. "For fucks sake you killed and survived getting killed for years! You're not gonna start crying over some guy you shouldn't have gotten close to in the first place! You're not that weak and pathetic!" Maybe reverting to anger would help. Getting angry at herself, angry at her stupidity for indulging in something she damn well knew would end up hurting her in the end, one way or another. Yet here she was. On her stupid birthday, sinking to the ground as she cried over some stupid man from another stupid agency. What did she think would happen? There wasn't even any guarantee that their friendship had been real. Maybe it was just all to get information from her. So why did the thought of him being with someone else still hurt so much? Oh, right. Because she was an idiot who let herself catch feelings for someone who was technically an enemy.

She was so lost in her thoughts that the ringing of her phone actually startled her and when she saw the name on the screen another wave of tears rolled down her cheeks. One missed called followed another. Only for Vanderwood to then send her a couple messages. Asking why she didn't pick up, if something happened to her, if she got injured... It was tempting to throw her phone full force against the next wall in hopes of smashing it into little pieces. Thankfully there was still a tiny part in her left that was able to think somewhat rationally, so instead she turned it off. At the same time shuffling over to her bedroom, falling face first on the mattress. She didn't even bother to get changed, only kicking her shoes off. It was like all the energy in her body had suddenly been drained and all she could do was bury her face in the pillow, crying herself to sleep as her heart continued to break further and futher until she eventually passed out from exhaustion.

A couple days had went by ever since that night. And all those days Talia was basically drowning herself in work. Taking on everything she could, no matter what kind of mission it was. Anything was better than being left alone and the heartbreak she still tried her hardest to forget about. Why did he still had to act like he cared? Why make it even harder on her by pretending to be worried about her and her well-being? Why couldn't he just act like the enemy he actually was "Maybe I should've listened to grandma. Men are nothing but trouble", the brunette huffed under her breath, all while tightening the grip of her thighs around a guy's throat until he passed out and went limp.

"There are certainly worse ways to go." Why? Why and how was it possible that she always bumped into Vanderwood on missions? It couldn't have been a coincidence anymore at that rate. At least the past days gave her some time to work on her pokerface, which she immediately put on as she got up, barely looking at him before she already turned her back on him. If she didn't look at him, she couldn't falter... right? "Can we talk? Please?" "I'm kind of busy right now, if you couldn't tell", she huffed.

Just as she was about to leave, because getting away as quickly as possible was much preferred, a hand wrapped around her wrist. Not tightly but it was enough to make her stop dead in her tracks. She hated how familiar the leather of his glove felt on her skin. How her heart involuntarily skipped a beat from the close proximity. "Talia-" "Don't. I have a job to do and I assume so do you. Besides, we shouldn't be like this anyway. Not only because we are working for different agencies but... God, I can't believe I let you play me for so long. A humorless laugh escaped her as she pulled her hand away, at the same time taking a couple steps back. Maybe she could trick her mind into distancing itself when she did so physically as well. And Vanderwood? He looked even more confused than he had that night at the bar. It nearly made her feel bad. Only nearly though.

"Playing you? What are you talking about?" "Don't pretend like I'm fucking stupid, Vanderwood. I saw how close you were with that woman. So why spend so much time with me when you obviously have someone in your life already, hm? Was it just to get information out of me? To make me feel safe enough to spill some secrets? Like the other night when I told you that-" "Kali." Even if he only said her name, her real name, it was enough to shut her up and all she could do was look at him with glassy, blue eyes. Though the last thing she expected was for him to pull her into a hug. Arms wrapped around her so tightly, it nearly felt like he was afraid of her falling apart if he let go. And maybe that would've actually been the case. Sadly it also made her walls crumble down way to easily, a quiet sob escaping her throat when she buried her face on his chest. Fingers digging into the back of his coat.

"Shh, shh. It's okay... Is that why you kept ignoring me?" The only thing she could do was nod. And Talia half expected him to make fun of her. Hell, she couldn't even have blamed him. Instead one of his hands moved up to cup the nape of her neck, pulling her even closer to himself. "Do you remember the hacker brat I told you about?", she nodded again, which was enough to make him continue, "The woman you saw was him. That idiot always takes it too far when he gets sent on undercover missions with me." She could pretty much hear in his voice that he rolled his eyes, although once her brain caught up to what she had just been told, she pulled back in order to look up at him. Face in a frown. "Wait... So that means-" "It means you worried about nothing and things could've been resolved much sooner if you'd have just picked up one of my calls."

Even now he didn't sound upset or condescending in any way. If anything, he looked so understanding which only confused her more. "I'd rather chew off my own arm than ever let you think I'm dating another woman. Especially when that woman in question is actually the hacker brat", he muttered, even shuddering. It was enough to draw a quiet chuckle out of her and she got on tiptoes, arms now snaking around his neck. "Soooo does it mean that if I was thinking about-" "Less talking..."

With that Vanderwood already crossed the small distance between them, lips pressed to hers in a nearly desperate kiss. All those emotions both had been trying to supress for way too long spilling into the open. Making it near impossible for her not to smile into the kiss. Her heart feeling much lighter than it had since her birthday. "You okay now?", Vanderwood's voice was barely above a whisper, the loving glint in his eyes robbing her of all coherent thoughts. Thumbs tenderly brushing some remaining tears from her cheeks. "Mhm~" "Want me to help with your mission?" "Nah, I'm good. But! You can meet me here again in... let's say 10 minutes. Then take me to your place and we could cook together", Talia suggested in-between little pecks. It was just too tempting to do now that she was officially allowed to kiss him. "Why my place?" "Because I know for a fact that your kitchen is way better stocked than mine is." "... Fair enough."

It was obvious that neither of them wanted to part, especially not now. But work still had to get done. No matter how badly she wanted to just stay in his arms. Though the sooner she'd get the mission done, the sooner they could leave. Vanderwood was the one who pulled her in for another proper kiss. And oh was it tempting to prolong it... If she was completely honest, Talia had absolutely no idea how she did it, but she managed to eventually take a step back, cheeks ever so slightly flushed. "See you in a bit, handsome", she hummed, fingertips touching her lips as soon as she had her back turned on him and a big smile refused to leave her face. There were no words to describe how glad she was about everything getting resolved and that things were nothing but a stupid misunderstanding. Sure, there were many more challenges for them still, but for now she'd allow herself to enjoy her night with the man who was supposed to be an enemy but turned out to become her lover in the end. Funny how life can go, sometimes...

Vanderwood x Talia Masterlist

Taglist: @just-a-key @amborii @cass-who @otomaticallyobsessedessed @mixed-bag-of-tricks @brighteststar707 @currentlyprocrastinating @violetrei @kumaronoa

[deadcityhq]

**CHARACTER NAME:** dream, oneiros, kai’ckul… most have different names for him. most commonly dream in this current age, or morpheus. 

**CHARACTER FACECLAIM:** 

**CHARACTER AGE/DOB (if relevant/they’re not old af):** so very old i feel like i should keep this blank lmao. when the first creature capable of dreaming was born, he winked into existence.

**CHARACTER PRONOUNS/GENDER IDENTITY/SEXUALITY ETC:** he/him but tbfh he’d answer to just about any of em | agender | yes. the answer is yes.

**CHARACTER FANDOM (if relevant):** the sandman - dc comics

**OC OR CANON:** canon

**CHARACTER TYPE (for example: werewolf, shadowhunter, warlock, demon etc):** one of the endless.

**HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN IN NEW YORK/WHY ARE THEY THERE ETC:** freed from burgess’ prison, the concepts of ‘distance’ and ‘space’ mean much less to him. he’s in new york as often as he requires. perhaps he’s been there. more often than not in these recent days. who could say. certainly not dream. 

**IMPORTANT CHARACTER INFORMATION TO NOTE AND SHARE (this could be important headcanons for initial plotting, mini bios etc, supporting docs):**

this mostly-immortal personified concept of a being is getting the bullet point treatment because otherwise we’d be here all fucking day and no one wants that. 

dream and the rest of his siblings were begotten into existence the moment that the first being capable of dreaming, well. dreamed. 

his realm, the dreaming, has grown over the millennia and changed shape just as much as he has. creatures created by the minds of humankind, as well as himself, populate the dreaming, plus other beings who became part of his dominion through other means. like eve (she mostly just minds her business it’s fine) or cain and abel (they do *not* mind their business cain re-kills his brother on the daily but it’s fine, dream gave them shit to do). 

dream is a being of many faces and facets; depending on your culture, community or even planet you might see a different face when you look upon him, or know him as a different name. 

things aren’t always set in stone for the endless in spite of their long non-lives. some of the endless siblings have died traumatically and become a new aspect of themselves, or have simply disappeared and removed themselves from the family equation. it’s been a while since either of those things have happened, but they continue to cast a long shadow when the siblings gather together. 

dream had historically been farther removed from mortal lives than some of his siblings, due to some… tragically ending experiences when his sibling desire got involved in his affairs, and it inadvertently caused the downfall of his mortal love’s kingdom. he… knows he was a shithead about how it all went down, but does he still act like a shithead about it? yes

of course, until his sister inadvertently challenged him to know humanity a little better. this was when he first met hob gadling, made immortal by his sister’s blessing. dream became… well *he* would let the furies eat him before admitting it but he became *fascinated* by the unrelenting zeal hob had for the simple act of continuing to be alive. dream was fascinated by his particular bright humanity. and maybe, he’d never really had a friend before. it all brought him closer to the creatures whose dreaming hours he stewarded. 

WELL and then roderick burgess happened. dream became imprisoned in this aleister crowley wannabe’s basement for decades upon decades, while the world stuttered in minute but *bad* ways in his absence. people never waking up, people never being able to fall asleep… as well as nightmares escaping from the dreaming. 

EVENTUALLY dream got the hell outta there and went on his little mission to get his accessories back, all of that domino’d into hunting down the rogue nightmares, finding the vortex that his incredibly vexing sibling desire made, etcetera… with the corinthian shrunken down to a skull in his pocket, dream decided he needed to let that little nightmare and himself ruminate for a while before remaking that particular creature, and let the dreaming breathe after the unrest. 

sure hob and himself only meet once every century, but that doesn’t mean dream doesn’t keep up. especially now, with having missed their last appointment. of course, dream found him anyway and they managed a belated meeting, but it feels… pertinent somehow, to keep an eye or three on him. after all, who wouldn’t be a little alarmed to peek in on your human and find them on a different continent entirely? humans had to pack all of their belongings and find a means of transportation to complete a move like that! 

dream checks in a little more frequently now; even if he’s not always in the shape of ‘looks mostly human’. not to mention it’s been a few hundred years since he came to this city himself, there’s more than a few pockets of his dominion here it would behoove him to monitor as well. 

**THREE AESTHETICS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOUR CHARACTER:** the just-barely-there smell of ozone after a lightning strike, the sudden realization that you’re having a nightmare, a deep pool of dark water reflecting a starry night sky. 

OOC INFORMATION: 

**MUN NAME/ALIAS:** jesse

**MUN AGE:** 30

**MUN TRIGGERS:**  n/a 

[piraticoctopus]

Y’all wanna know how my train of thoughts work like 24/7? I had a big nerd mind expansion moment while trying to organize my Hollow Knight thoughts where I pulled out my entomology textbook because I was thinking about eusocial insect societies (ants, honey bees, termites)— and when I typed out a description of them in a way that pointed out how messed up it is when you give it morals (in short, I described them as producing a “self-sacrificing, unthinking, emotionless, will-lacking army”), I was like “woah, wait a minute, no mind to think”, and I realized I don't really know all that much about termites or how their societies/genetics differ from hymenopterans (ants, bees, and wasps), but I knew they DO have a king, so I looked into it more and then did a deep dive into reading scientific papers about caste determination and colony structure and then when I went to find a diagram of it—

*fucking x-files theme plays with a dramatic zoom-in*

TLDR; the Pale King’s basically a termite.

Supporting info and other interesting (to me!) facts about termites below the cut:

(Here’s the publication that diagram is from in case anyone wants to read about queen termite reproductive strategies lmao)

Termites are monogamous until one of the pair dies. Queens can produce new queens through parthenogenesis (making babies without a male, so 100% of their genes are from her, but they aren’t necessarily straight clones). So if she needs to she can make a bunch of younger versions of herself.

I googled “are termites monogamous” for confirmation and forgot to specify Google Scholar and there is... so much going on here

Some reproductives are meant to leave the colony to start new ones, and thus have wings (and are called “alates”). Their wings are shimmery and very pretty and like twice the length of their bodies so all those headcanons where people give PK wings are valid.

Irrelevant to my point, but interesting: Unlike hymenopterans, in which males are haploid (only have one copy of each gene), termite males are diploid (have two copies, which is standard in most animals). Honey bees have some weird genetic fuckery because of that which results in the females (all diploid) of a colony sharing an average of 75% of their genes with each other (average full-sibling relatedness is 50%).

Also unlike ants and honey bees, the males don’t fuck off and die after mating. In those groups, the queen can mate once and then produce fertile eggs whenever she feels like it, but in termites the king sticks around and they just... constantly go at it, I guess. (Which, considering that being isolated and bound is enough to keep the WL from making more kids, maybe this one is a point in my favor.)

Workers and soldiers can be either male or female, unlike ants/bees where all workers are female, but are kept sterile via pheromones, so they’re functionally all kept neutral.

Some soldiers produce acids and will straight-up explode themselves during warfare, or use their massive heads to physically block tunnels from intruders, and commit numerous other acts that would violate the Geneva Conventions. Bugs have no morals and by our standards they’re all dirty little sinners running around committing war crimes.

I read something about mass burial pits, but couldn’t find more information on it other than that they exist??

Their architectural skills are incredible. The craftsmanship! You’ve got the classic “cathedral” style towers typically associated with termite mounds (largely constructed from shit, btw— maybe that’s why Ogrim is a fav), but some species apparently make “cartons” (papery nests) up on tree trunks.

Termites love wood. PK’s wife is a tree.

[artistgoudeau]

Black/fem reader x Everyone “The Do-Over”

Reader is a huge Blerd (black nerd) that gets transported to Attack on Titan universe in the year 843. She “luckily” was coming home from vacation. Fell asleep on the plane and woke up outside the walls (with her bags to make life easier for y/n) Now reader is curvy and has a fat ass (I DO make the rules). This, plus her darker skin and fluffy hair, drives everyone crazy. Erwin, Levi, Miche, and Hange are all very close. Rumors go around about them fucking all the time. But no one could prove it. You didn’t even know if they liked each other. You could only guess. But Erwin is always so interested in talking with you. Clumsy man seems to always drop something on the floor for you to bend over and reach. Hange squeals everytime she sees you and is NOT shy about flirting with you. You’re so pretty and she genuinely is curious about you. She ends up brushing her hands in weird places but that’s just her being extra excited. Levi is canonically a virgin so you wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable with your cleavage and fat thighs when it was hot and you had to train. But it seemed okay because everytime you looked his way, his eyes would travel up from your ass to your eyes and stay there. Miche was the most obvious. He liked to flirt and joke about what your babies would look like. How those kind of hips are rare and he would love to help you with extra training. He would sniff you often. Commenting on how your hair smelled so soothing. You catch the other three vets staring daggers at him if they happen to catch his flirting.

One day you overhear a conversation happening in the commander's office. Eavesdropping isn’t very nice.

Miche: good GOD I can’t take much more of this..

Levi: Are you some teenage idiot who can’t keep it in his pants? Y/n has probably had enough of the fucking flirting! You’re her superior! Act. Like. It.

Hange: Now WAIT A MINUTE! I know for a fact you’ve been beating off to her in the showers!

Levi: And just how THE HELL would you know that?

Erwin: Okay. Okay. Let’s not beat around the bush, y/n is very…ahem… attractive. But we can’t just all gang up on her with our feelings.

Miche: Why not?

Hange/Levi/Erwin: WHAT THE FUCK?!/ Hah?!EXCUSE ME!

Miche: whoa whoa whoa! I didn’t mean FORCE HER! I meant what if we all approached her in our own way and try to actually build bonds with her. She will feel left out if only one of us showed interest and the rest of us just ignore her trying to be nice. Besides, I don’t really want anyone else to have a chance to steal her. If we can learn to share we might be able to make this work.

Erwin: That is incredibly-

Before your commander could even finish his sentence you dropped your papers you were holding close to your chest as you leaned your ear to the door to listen. Up until that moment you had very sinful thoughts about most of the scouts. Muscles + being in an unfamiliar place with no one to relate to or really even looks like you = sad(horny) and desperately seeking an excuse to act out. It was juvenile, you knew. But you had been transported to an ENTIRELY fictional world where you knew everything about everyone and you were the ONLY brown skinned person in the walls! You had been stuck out in the wilderness when you were caught by none other than the Commander himself.

~Flashback~

You both stared at each other for what felt like hours. Him: looking at a woman with features he’s NEVER seen before. A person that only exists in the past and in his fathers stories about the world. You: completely stunned by the fact that one second you were at the airport on your way home from vacation, and now you are staring at a man (that you have definitely read questionable fanfiction of) staring at you. That would just be too good of a cosplay to have a giant naked man also running behind him to catch up to you two. Then you snapped out of it and called him by his name.

Y/n: ERWIN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!

You were running towards him before you even registered what was happening. You ran to his horse's backside and stood at a decent distance before you smacked its ass and it ran like hell. Erwin seemed to be in a trace as his eyes followed your frame but his hearing stopped working. When his horse suddenly lurched forward he was nearly thrown off but had enough sense to right himself before turning to look back at you trying to run the titan in a different direction. What the fuck are you doing?

Y/n: oh fuck! I’m gonna die! I can’t believe this! I hope Erwin is okay! God if you’re there I need some fucking help!

God answered your prayers that day.

As if on cue (like it’s a tv show or something) the titan suddenly is struck from it’s nape and falls a few fucking feet from you!!! You didn’t even have to look up to know that it was Levi who came to the rescue. Not that you could, you were currently hyperventilating, sweating, and swearing.

Levi: hey! HEY! Look at me! Can you tell me your name? How did you get out here? Are you alone?

You had enough sense (and therapy) to try and focus on his words.

Y/n: my name is y/n. I don’t know. And I don’t know. I just woke up here.

Levi: outside the walls?

Y//n: looks like it.

Erwin finally speaks up after watching Levi save you then listening to Levi question you.

Erwin: How is that possible? There’s no one living beyond the walls and someone as unique as you would’ve been hard to miss inside the walls.

You look at Erwin and you can’t control the deviated look on your face. Both of them catch it but they don’t know what it means. You are crashing now from the rush of life saving adrenaline. You need to be quick and concise here and get your point across.

Y/n: I am not from this world. But everything you know about the Titans and this world has been a lie. *you look to Erwin and stare into his eyes* Your father was right, Erwin. And because he was so close to the truth the MPs killed him. And he WAS very close. I know the truth the king is hiding from you all and I want to make this right.

Erwin and Levi are stunned. The truth of everything?! Dropped seemingly from the sky!? This must be a trap! But Erwin's father being mentioned was entirely too specific.

Erwin: How do you know my father if you aren’t from this world? How do we know you aren’t a mad woman dressed so strangely and speaking in a dialect I can’t quite grasp. Even if you aren’t mad, how could we possibly know you are telling the truth.

You think for a moment then look to Levi

Y/n: Your name is Levi Ackerman. You were born from Kuschel Ackerman, who was a prostitute, so your father is unknown. She died while you were still young and you were raised by a man named Kenny. He taught you how to fight with a knife and then left you when you could defend yourself. You and you friends, Isa-

Levi: ENOUGH!

You flinch away but you understand. You just told a lot of his personal business right next to Erwin and you’re almost sure he didn’t know all of that. But accuracy was key here. You couldn’t be lying or crazy to recount his life in such detail. He and Erwin were stunned.

Erwin: I think it’s best if you come with us.

Y/n: please. I promise I just want to help humanity.

Levi: tch by spilling everyone’s personal information?

Y/n: no. Because I know everything that happens concerning the titans, humanity, and survey corps for the next 2000 years. And in the next five years, if we don’t change the future, humanity and the earth itself will be 80% decimated. The ground will be uninhabitable for hundreds of years. And even when humanity somehow survives. The land you all currently occupy. Your cultures. Your literature. Your pasts, presents, and futures will be completely eradicated by the outside world in the next 2000 years. Please believe me. I DON'T want this to happen and I’m sure you don’t either. What’s more, I can prove it.

Erwin: Show me.

Chapter end

Please leave comments and criticisms. I am just starting out writing fanfics and I want to make sure I’m doing something right lmao.

[lesbian-deadpool]

Saving Rosie

Part One of Two: “I’m Not A Spy.”

Rosie Betzer x Reader

Words: 5,768

Warnings: WWII (and everything that comes with that era), Nazis, spy shit, arguing, alludes to execution, sadness... I think that may be it.

Request: No.

Summary: You save the woman you have grown close to over the past few years you have been undercover as a Nazi general, and now you’re going to save her family.

A/N: Me, still broken after watching Jojo Rabbit almost a year and a half ago?? It’s more likely than you think... so, apparently I write Rosie Beltzer fics now lol

Also, just some lil notes. The reader in this is undercover as a male Nazi general, and they’re not actually German in this fic.

EDIT: I accidentally tagged this as a Natasha fic lmao. I fixed it now tho.

Ko-Fi

Commissions

(Not My GIF)

***

"It's a lovely night for it, huh?"

For what? You weren't 

certain. Maybe it was the full moon. Maybe, it was the clear sky. The deserted streets, perhaps... what loomed in the following days to come.

Or maybe, just maybe. It was the woman by your side.

The woman hummed, a small sweet smile caressing her face.

"One of the better ones we've had in years. Came her strong German accent. A stark difference to yours, considering you no longer had to mask it. Around her, anyway.

Your smile mirrored hers as it brightened.

"It sure is."

"I can't believe it's almost over. And after so long..." she said, while you grunted, sitting down beside her on the small roof over the open attic window. "This unjust war is finally coming to an end."

"Okay, you're starting to sound like my commander now."

Rosie chuckled at your words, moving to softly lean into your side, keeping her head up to continue looking at the bright white stars that littered the midnight blue sky.

"Why do you always insist on meeting up here?" you grumbled, no malice in your voice, "It's a pain in the ass to get up onto the roof, from the outside, y'know?"

"You're a spy, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to be good at this stuff?"

"Oh cheeky," you laughed, lightly slapping the side of her leg, with the back of your hand. Rosie's quiet giggles following your remark, "And I'm an undercover soldier. Those are two very different things."

"Still." She shrugged.

You sat in silence for a small while. Over the few years, you and Rosie had grown close. Meeting up on her rooftop, at the dead of night, where there was no chance of anyone seeing you together, this way, becoming an almost every day occurrence.

You knew you could trust her the moment you first met, almost three years ago. After you had stolen the identity of a Nazi officer, that looked starkly like you. Luckily, there was hardly any information about this person. So, there was less chance for your cover to be blown.

Soon, the resistance that Rosie had been deeply a part of was un-earthed to you, thanks to your informant and the letter she carried. It wasn't long after that you started working with them too. Helping them better than they could ever hope, thanks to the military resources and information you brought.

"What happened to your neck?" Rosie asked, pulling you out from where you were, deep in your memories.

A hand came up to rub at your slightly sore skin.

"My informant can be cruel..."

Rosie cocked a blonde eyebrow at you, wanting an explanation from you.

You sighed, getting ready to tell her.

***

Eyes burned into the woman from all sides as her heels kicked against the polished wooden, yet stained, floor. Her light brown hair shone under the glowing lights, confidence radiating from her just the same.

"Can I help you?" a German Soldier slid in front of her, she had to stop herself from sneering at the man. For both his being a Nazi and his sweaty stench. But instead, she managed a sultry smirk.

"I'm here to see your General," she replied, in a German accent.

"Don't bother," another Soldier, this one drunk and slightly swaying, called over, from where he was pressed into the wall a few feet behind her.

"I don't think your General would take too kindly to you stealing what they paid for."

"They're gonna have fun with you," he replied, blatantly looking her up and down. Like a wolf would, to a tiny bunny, ready to devour it whole. However, the wolf was not a wolf at all, the wolf was, in fact, the bunny, and the bunny was the actual wolf.

She would tear him to shreds, given the chance.

"The General is in the usual room," the original man said, "Fair warning, though. They're not in a good mood today."

The woman began strutting down the hallway, once again. Throwing, "Aren't they always?" over her shoulder once she passed him by.

When she opened the thick wooden door you resided behind, the sounds of your continued groan began pouring through the crack.

"Sometimes I cannot believe that you got this assignment," she uttered in her original London accent, with her back pressed against the now-closed door.

You finished your groan off and took a deep breath before you uttered your reply.

"Luck-of-the-draw, I guess," you spoke from the floor where you lay on your back, with a shrug, "That, or I look strikingly alike the guy who died. The Nazi prick."

She walked over to you, one foot rising to press her heel into your neck, your thyroid resting in the open space of the shoe.

A choking noise sprang from your mouth as you flailed your limbs around gently. You knew that if she were to press any harder, she would surely manage to choke you.

"You're not suited for this job."

The brunette pressed harder against your throat before she released you. Leaving you to turn on your side, coughing and spluttering.

"Well, no shit. I'm a soldier, not a spy."

"You can tell."

"What was that all about?" You motioned to your neck. Red marks already making their way upon the tender flesh.

"We need to make it seem like we are having sex. Remember? I am supposed to be your hooker after all."

"You're a bitch, is what you are."

She scowled at you as you rolled yourself onto your stomach, sighing when you finally got to your feet.

"Where's the update?"

You hummed, almost as if you were remembering what you were here to do. Removing the crystal tumbler from your lips the whisky sloshing around inside. Reaching behind you, you pulled the file from where it was tucked into your pants and under your shirt. Handing it over to her.

"Is this it?" She asked, weighing the file in her hand, "It's very light."

"Yeah, and so's the information swimming around. Unless you wanna hear about the fish Agatha caught last weekend," you snarked back, moving to point at the file with the same hand that held your glass, "There's some good stuff in there. It's not much. But it's good."

"I'll take your word for it."

She tucked the folder into the long overcoat she wore, then you saw her eyebrows furrow.

"Aren't you supposed to take care of that?" She nodded towards the uniform jacket you had thrown across the room not long after you had entered it.

"You sneered at the fore-talked about item.

"I hate it and everything it stands for." You turned back to face her. "As soon as all of this bullshit is over, I'm burning that fucking armband. And then the rest of the fucking uniform."

"Real calm there, aren't you?"

"Don't start shit with me, Hannah." You took a large swig of your drink, almost emptying the glass. "I know that you wish you had somehow gotten this mission. But trust me, you don't fucking want it. The shit I've seen and done. The stuff that I've had to authorise, just to keep my cover. The fucking horror storied these monsters have told proudly, or as if they're fucking jokes." You were panting now. "You don't want that."

You had her startled into silence. Hannah had never expected this to come from you.

"How's the resistance?"

You grunted. Downing the rest of the brown liquor before moving to pour yourself another glass three fingers tall.

"It's going." you gave a heavy nod. "Still trying to spread the word."

Hannah hummed, slowly making her way towards you. Fingers coming up to razzle her hair, and wipe her lipstick, so it smudged onto her cheek.

"How's the blonde?"

"What-?" you were cut off when she wiped the red lipstick on her fingers across your own lips, leaving a smudge like hers there. "Ugh," you groaned, moving away from her palm, only to utter small obscenities and sounds of pain when her lipstick freehand messed up your short, slicked-back hair.

"What blonde?" you finally managed to ask.

"The one from the resistance. What's her name?" She clicked her fingers together, in realisation, "Rosie."

"Oh! Yeah, she's fine, and so are the kids."

"You seem to be taking a shine to her, from what I hear from the resistance. You and Rosie seem to be something of a dynamic duo."

Suddenly your shirt was ripped open, from the collar to your ribs. Making your eyes widen in shock.

However, you were used to this by now, so they soon returned back to their regular size.

"Yeah, we're friends."

Hannah hummed, something akin to a knowing smirk on her face. As she untucked your shirt.

"I'd keep an eye on her, though."

She opened your pants.

"She's being watched."

Breathless at what she just said, you stood stock still, watching as she walked towards the wooden door.

"Oh." Hannah stopped, her hand upon the handle, pulling some pieces of paper from her pocket and threw them to the floor, "I'll leave you to deliver the bad news."

And with that, she left.

***

You forewent telling Rosie everything from the mention of her.

Thinking it the best if she heard it differently.

"That really sounds like a spy meeting to me," Rosie said with a smirk, knowing it would annoy you to no end.

You closed your eyes before you could roll them into the back of your head. Taking a deep breath, you exhaled, "I'm not a spy."

"So, you've said," she giggled.

"You're drunk," you mumbled to yourself.

"What was that?"

"How are the kids?" you asked, clearly watching as Rosie groaned lightly. Her head down-turned, almost sad looking.

"Jojo's still obsessed with Hitler and everything. And Elsa's doing her best. But I can tell how much this is affecting her. And in what world wouldn't it?"

"She's strong." You nodded. "She'll get through it. We all will."

"And what about Jojo?"

Rosie turned to face you, hair swaying as she did. You could see the glazed look in her eye's, telling yourself to be extra vigilant with the woman upon the roof. You had to make sure she didn't fall off in her drunken state.

"Is he going to be like this for the rest of his life?"

Tears were building in her eyes now.

"Supporting evil dictators, wanting to take over the world, and fill it with hate?"

"No. No, of course not," you whispered. Reaching over, you clasped her cheeks between your rough, war-hardened hands. Wiping away her silent tears. "He's just a boy. A boy who wants to be a part of something, even if he doesn't understand what that is. What monster's he's following. He will realise one day. Trust me."

"I trust you." She nodded. "It just. It's hard. It's so hard. Especially when he plays up, like he did at dinner today."

"He did?"

She hummed with a nod.

"We're low on food right now. I had to go without to feed Elsa. But Jojo, he didn't know, obviously, so he took that too. Then he started arguing about his father-"

You inhaled sharply, shoulders tensing. But luckily for you, she didn't notice your reaction.

"-I yelled at him... we made up not long after, but I still feel awful about it. I'm a terrible mother."

"No, you're not-"

"I am-"

"No. You're not," you said firmly. Grabbing her forearm, gently moving it side to side, to get your point further across, "You're such a caring and amazing person. Your heart is so big and kind. And you're an even better mother. It's like all of that is doubled for those kids."

"Thank you," Rosie whispered, tears in her eyes once again, before she moved to wipe them away.

"Anyway, you're way better than my mother. She abandoned me at a farm. I was lucky a cow didn't shit on me."

She giggled at your little joke.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"There's no need. I wouldn't change it."

Things were quiet for a few minutes when you suddenly remembered.

"Oh!" You reached into your pocket and pulled out three packages, wrapped in brown paper and tied together with string. "I guess it was just lucky that I brought these then."

"What are they?"

"Beef sandwiches, I thought you would like them."

"Oh, you're a lifesaver," she spoke in something close to a moan as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

You gave a small chuckle at the woman seated beside you, "I'd thought you'd say that. I'll have to start bringing food over to these meetings of ours because it's not like I can do it out in the open."

"People would think something was going on between us," Rosie hummed.

"You're right about that. Everyone is so bored around here. Gossip is like their life sauce."

"Would you be surprised if I told you that it was the same before the war?"

"Not at all," you laughed.

Rosie finished her sandwich, and you dreaded what was coming next.

"I need to tell you something," you almost whispered.

She bumped her shoulder against yours when you didn't continue.

"Well? What is it?"

"It... it's about your husband..."

You watched her carefully as you said that, all the while emotions, flew into her while she processed them.

She held back more tears, ones from the look on her face that she had shed more times than she could count. Face contoured into one of concealed pain. Looking away from your gentle, caring eyes while rubbing her hands together.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"I'm afraid so." You nodded, looking out before you, into the starry night sky.

That's when you felt a tiny jolt beside you. Looking over at the blonde, you watched as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered.

With a gasp and a wet sniff, Rosie wiped her tears away.

"What happened?"

"There was a raid, some members of a resistance was there, your husband included. None of them made it... they saved the people they intended to, however."

She nodded with a sad yet proud smile.

"How long ago was this?"

You swallowed. Hating the words you were about to say.

"A little over a year ago."

You winced when you heard her sobs, ones being held in so hard just so no one could overhear her cries.

And, sickeningly so, the worst thing of all was that you didn't know how to help her.

Placing a hand upon her back, rubbing small comforting circles into her shoulder. Feeling her lean into you, face now pushed into your neck.

"I'm here. Everything's going to be alright."

You left not too long later, after already spending way too much time up on that roof.

Rosie wished you a "goodbye" with the promise that she would be fine. However, she didn't reply to you when you told her not to finish the rest of the wine. That she had been pounding for the majority of the day.

Before you arrived "home" and promptly collapsed onto the bed.

***

The afternoon sun was warm upon your face as you walked the streets of the German town. Watching as children ran around, women worked, and well, gossiped, and Nazi soldiers came and went.

Soon. You thought. This will all be over soon.

That's when you heard the murmured words from the women you had just walked past.

"Yes, the Gestapo. They're here right now."

"Who for?" the other woman asked, voice slightly higher at the aspect of such "juicy" gossip.

Sometimes it surprised you just how detached some of these people were from human lives. But then you took a step back and saw everything that was happening in the world. And you weren't surprised anymore. Just disappointed.

"The traitors wife. Beltzer."

And now you were scared.

"-They should be taking her to the square, right now."

It was like the world had slowed down as you turned to look at them, meeting their curious eyes.

The last thing you heard before taking off at a run towards the town square was a fading, "Like husband, like wife. I guess."

The people you passed by looked at you like you were insane. To see a, what they thought, General, sprinting down streets and panting like crazy, it set them on edge.

But you didn't give a damn about what anybody thought.

You just had to get to the square.

And quick.

***

By the time you got there, you had a light shine over your skin. Thanks to the sweat from both the running you had done and the worry that coursed through you.

"Remove your hands from her," came your faux German accent.

"She is a traitor to the Reich," one of the Gestapo's, seemingly the leader, replied assuredly.

"And what proof do you have of this?"

Rosie was terrified. You could see that as clear as day, no matter how she tried to keep calm. It was written all over her face.

So, you forcefully pushed their hands from the heavily breathing woman and pulling her to stand by your side and away from the group of men dressed in black suits.

"I'll have you know, we have very probable tips from some of the community-"

""Probable"?!" you shouted, causing the on edge woman beside you to jump slightly. To which you pulled her closer to you as a form of comfort. Your hand, coming to rest on her shoulder.

"Yes. Probable. We cannot have risks."

"Well, I say that it is bullshit."

"You have no jurisdiction or authority over our department."

"And I never said I did. I am saying that I vouch for this woman."

"But the tip-off's-" another man began.

"You choose to believe lonely and bored housewives over a General?!" You watched as their faces fell, and they tried to grab onto any straw they could to change your mind.

"There is still a chance-"

"There is no chance!"

"And can you be so sure?!"

"Do you really believe that I, a General, would be with her if you were right?"

"With her?" a third Gestapo asked curiously.

You knew what you had to do to get her back home, safe and away from the men trying to execute and make a spectacle of her. Just like the poor people hanging to your right.

"It means that I have been seeing her. Romantically, if you still do not fully understand, what I mean."

They didn't say anything for a few short moments, only stumbling and stuttering over their own voices.

"So, tell me. Who are you choosing to believe?"

"Uh. Y-You General."

"Good." You nodded once. "Now, I'm going to take her home. Goodbye, gentlemen," you spat. Turning on your heel, with Rosie under your arm, and walking away.

"Are you okay?" you whispered. Not drawing any attention to yourself or Rosie.

"I'm fine. Thank you for saving me," she replied in the same way.

"I wouldn't have done anything else." Your hand slipped down to the blondes dip in her lower back, helping to guide her back home. "Where are the flyers? Did you have any on you?"

"Yes. I threw them down the drain before they could see."

"Good. You did good." A squeeze to her hip before your hand returned to her lower back, just to keep up the appearance of the lie. "They're not gonna find them."

***

Rosie had relaxed more by the time you were at the bottom of her street when you saw a distinctly expensive car parked outside of Rosie's house. A car that everyone knows belongs to that of Gestapo's.

"Is Jojo home?" you asked, just stood there starring at the sight, with Rosie by your side.

"Yes," she husked.

"Shit."

And that's when you both broke out in a run.

You, being faster than Rosie, arrived at the building first. Barging through the door, with her hot on your heels.

Pounding your way up the stairs, only to come face to face with a gang of men, identically dressed to the Gestapo's, you had just saved Rosie from. Along with Jojo and Elsa, in clothes that didn't look like they belonged to her. Not to mention the demoted soldier, holding an identification book.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

"What are you doing in my house?!" you and Rosie said at the same time. Your yell angrier, compared to her more so worried one.

"We are searching the premises," the lead man, who wore round glasses, spoke. Face confused as to why Rosie was still alive. But as soon as he saw the anger chiselled upon your face. He could take a successful guess as to who had stopped the execution.

"Mama, they were just checking Inge's identification," Jojo said as his mother rushed towards him. Her hands, on his cheeks, as she checked him over.

"Oh, yes. Of course." Rosie pulled Jojo along to bring Elsa into her side, just as you had done for her mere minutes ago. "Are you both alright?"

She gained words and nods of confirmation from the two children.

"I think it's time that you all left."

"But-" one Gestapo said, looking to Rosie.

"But nothing," you continued, "I'm sure your associates will fill you in on their mistake. Now, if you are finished, I ask that you leave this house."

"We were just about to, anyway," the leader said, leading the way out for everyone. But not before the ID was handed back to the assumed Inge. With you trailing after, to slam the door behind them.

You turned, leaning your back against the wooden door, sighing deeply.

"Are they gone?" Rosie called down, leaning over the railing, to peer down at you.

The stairs creaked below you, the layer of carpet doing nothing to quiet them. You spoke your confirmation, as you reached her, "They're gone."

The kids looked like they had just been caught with their hand's in the cookie jar.

"So..." the caring woman started, "You two know about each other."

They nodded.

"For how long?"

"A couple of weeks, at most," Jojo said.

"How did you even find out about her?"

"I-I found the hatch-"

"He crawled in-"

"And I found her-"

"He was terrified."

"Was not!"

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Okay, enough," Rosie raised her voice, gaining the bickering children's attention.

Taking a breath, she ran her hands through her soft blonde hair.

"And you never told anyone?"

"No." Jojo shook his head. "I didn't want you to get into trouble..." It was at that point, he realised you were silently stood behind his mother, watching as everything unfolded and who you were.

Rosie caught this and looked over her shoulder at you.

"Don't worry," she told both of the kids, crouching down before them. Elsa's face one of mild terror.

This is when it hit you that these kids were exactly that.

Kids.

Kid's that were too scared of their mothers, or motherly figure, scolding them, than the actual, apparent danger that lurked not too far away.

"They're not going to tell anybody. They know. And won't let anything happen. To any of us." she manoeuvred to face you. "Right?"

You nodded. "Absolutely. I will do my best to protect all of you."

"Speaking of." She slowly rose to her feet, walking towards you.

The hand that Rosie placed upon your arm was gentle, almost like she was worried she would hurt you. Fingers curling into the jacket of the uniform you loathed.

"I have to speak with the General. So, you two stay up here. Understood?"

They nodded.

"Good." She pulled you through the open door, but before she could close it fully, her head popped through the door, "Oh. And we're not done yet. We still have a lot to talk about."

Then the door clicked shut.

"You're really good at that."

"What?"

"Being a mother."

"I know. You've told me before."

***

Things had changed rather quickly when you arrived downstairs.

Sat upon the blue cotton cushions of the wooden framed couch. Watching as Rosie paced around in front of you, fingertips rubbing against her full lips, worry etched across her face.

Your eyebrows shot up, and your body straightened when she turned to face you. Arms now down by her sides.

"So, we're together, huh?"

"I'm sorry," you replied, German accent dropped, "But that was the only thing that would get them to back off and drop the suspicions against you."

"I know." She nodded, completely understanding. Before her minimal composure dropped, and the worry came back. "What do we do? Jojo obviously thinks you are a traitor now. What if he tells someone?"

"He won't." You stood abruptly, taking Rosie's shoulder's into your hands, squeezing them gently. "He didn't tell anyone about Elsa when he had so many chances to do so. Hell, he had the chance, not even five minutes ago. But he hasn't said a word, purely just to keep you safe... he doesn't understand that this could hurt him and Elsa too. He doesn't know what's happening."

"But this is different-"

"Yes, it is different. It's better he thinks I'm a traitor, helping his family, than him knowing I'm an undercover soldier."

"You mean a spy?"

"Don't you start with that shit." You pointed at her playfully.

Rosie's smile dropped when a thought popped into her mind.

"Do you think they will still come back?"

"It is possible," you said honestly, "Which is why we should leave as soon as we possibly can."

"And go where?"

"Anywhere that isn't here."

"What do I tell the kids- What do I tell Jojo?" she clarified.

"The truth. You tell them that they could come back and that we all need to leave because we could all be in danger."

With her head in her hand's, the blonde scoffed tearily, "God. This fucking war."

"I know. I know."

You pulled her into your chest, letting her cry into you. Arms wound around your torso tightly.

"I hate it, For so many reasons."

"I know," you repeated again, "I feel the same."

"When will it just end? When will people be safe again?"

Deciding that it would be best to tell her the truth, you said, "I don't know. Soon I hope."

And there you sat, for a small while longer, allowing the blonde to cry into your chest.

***

You had left.

Gone to go gather some of your things, thinking it best to stay with Rosie and the kids while you were forced to stay in town.

All the while Rosie, spoke to the kids about leaving.

"I don't understand why we have to go!"

Was what you were greeted with as you entered the home.

"Because it is not safe for us here anymore," Rosie's voice came, calm but firm.

"But they won't come back."

"That's not entirely true," you spoke, entering the kitchen. Placing the leather bag you carried and the wicker basket upon the small table against the wall, you continued, "There's always a chance, no matter how small."

The young boy watched you silently for a minute. Not knowing what to say.

"Trust me, Jojo. I know how all of this works. I just want to keep you all safe, so does your mother. And this is the best way to do it.2

Jojo sighed.

"Where will we go?"

Rosie looked at you intently when her son asked this, wondering the same thing.

"We'll get out of town first. Then we'll focus on a safe place for us all to go."

"Jojo, would you. Would you go to your room, please?" Rosie asked, "I need to speak with the General, alone."

Just as the blonde boy was about to protest, he was cut off.

"Now. I also have to start preparing dinner."

He huffed and walked from the room, bounding up the stairs rather loudly.

You felt bad for the woman as you watched her grip the sides of the oven, bow her head, and give a great sigh.

"Where's Elsa?"

"She's in her hiding spot." Then she turned to face you. "Y/N, K know that Elsa isn't Inge."

"What?"

"She got Inge's birthday wrong, and he didn't say anything."

Your eye's wandered as you took in the information that was just given to you.

"Do you think he will say anything?"

"I don't know," you said with a shrug, "But I don't wanna take any chances. It's too risky."

"I agree." Rosie nodded once. "So, when do we leave."

"As soon as possible. Tonight if we can. Only pack the essentials. And not yet, we can't raise any suspicions."

Rosie's only reply and indication that she had heard you were a good few nods.

And then.

"What's in the basket?"

"Oh," you said chipperly, "Don't worry about cooking. I brought dinner."

***

Turns out "tonight" wasn't a viable option for skipping town, as with loud, almost deafening sirens of dread filled the sky came the air-raid strike.

"Wouldn't it give us a good cover, though?" Rosie had asked, preparing for bed.

You had resigned yourself to staying over, as a sort of bodyguard, while still in town. And the threat was still very much weighing in the winds.

You looked over your shoulder at her. Being spotted by her through the mirror of her vanity, where she sat. Removing her makeup and then applying some face cream.

"I'm not the only one by a window," you told her. Then moved to peer through the window, at the moving lights in the black, midnight sky. "I'm sure I heard Elsa and Jojo in the attic watching them."

"They are," she confirmed.

"See. We're not the only ones. Too many eyes. A good distraction," you admitted, "But almost impossible. And with two kids added to that? No chance."

A hum came from Rosie.

"So, what are our options?"

With a sigh, you began explaining, "People will be too jumpy tomorrow, so our best bet would be the day after."

The blonde, now ready for bed, came over to you. Moving to stand right in front of you, looking out the window herself.

"Wouldn't it be too risky, staying here that long?"

It seemed it was your turn to hum, shrugging your shoulders.

"I'd rather stay here a few more days than risk it out there. But there is a good side to these change of plans."

"And what's that?"

"Now, we can sneak stuff to the car. And won't risk being caught doing it all at night. That way, all we have to do is get in, then drive off."

"Good plan. Partner," Rosie spoke in a slight mocking about sultry tone. Which only made you roll your eyes good-naturedly.

"Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome."

"Seriously," you halted at Rosie's serious tone, raising your head to peer at her, "Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me." Your lips ticked up in a small smile before you lightened the sober mood and atmosphere. "And you definitely won't be thanking me if I accidentally kick you in my sleep."

Rosie laughed at your words, watching as you said into bed beside her.

"Do not worry. If you kick me, I'll just kick you out of the bed."

"Now that's just rude."

Waking up the next morning was strange for you, to say the least.

With the bright sun shining through the thin drapes, across the cosy room, and onto the bed. Duvet lumpy above your forms.

And then there was Rosie.

The blonde pressed up against your side, head resting on your shoulder, arms curled around one of yours, still fast asleep.

Now that.

That was very unusual for you.

But then again. You were too sleepy to process anything at that moment. So instead, you just watched her breathe soothingly, looking so peaceful by your side, with your eyebrows furrowed and eyes squinted in curiosity.

It was a wonder how someone could look so contest face asleep like Rosie was, with everything that is going on in the world.

The world wouldn't be that way for much longer, you thought, it was only a matter of time before everything was over.

And the same thing could be said for the blonde sleeping by your side.

The wooden door barged open, alerting you fully awake, as Jojo strutted in. Only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of you. In bed. With his mother.

You could see the slight anger in his eyes, purely out of protection for his beloved mother.

"Good morning, Jojo," Rosie said sleepily as she moved to sit up, looking at the boy with a sleepy smile.

You grunted as she pressed her palm into your abdomen to raise up into a seated position.

"What are they doing here?" he asked, nodding his head towards you.

Rosie looked over her shoulder at you, tired eyes evaluating you. Before she turned back to her son.

"There's something I forgot to tell you yesterday."

You watched the mother and child with slightly wide eyes, not uttering a word, just looking like you wanted to escape this situation.

"What did you forget?"

"The General here-" she patted your abdomen where her hand still resided. "-And I, are seeing each other."

It was a few good long moments as Jojo processed the words. You thought he was going to be angry. It would be natural. You would understand. He was a young boy, one who undoubtedly missed his father and would not be happy with his mother being with anyone else.

But you also had to understand that he idolised you, if only for your -albeit fake- position in the German military.

And yet, you were still surprised and confused by what he said next.

"A lion?"

Rosie smiled brightly, nodding her head, "A lion."

"A lion?"

That was the first thing you said that morning, and it was full of confusion.

But it fell on deaf ears.

Jojo nodded once at his mother before turning on his heel and walking from the room, without saying what he initially came in for.

"What?"

Rosie smiled at you.

"Come on, we should get moving."

The bed shook and bounced as she got up from the bed, preparing to get ready for the day.

"I'm so confused," you almost whimpered, only gaining a soft giggle in return.

***

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[mistressemmedi]

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

Greetings from Miley Cyrus - phenomenal numbers.

The streams of Zitti e Buoni are growing by the second, and ahead of Muse, on the top of the English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. We almost tripled followers after Rotterdam (from 1.4 to 3.3 million, ed). Contagious and universal madness: T-shirts and merchandise sold out in 10 minutes. Like records, tickets for a tour that adds dates and expands on maps. They are even looking for us in festivals where the Rolling Stones have played. - Thomas

After the whole cocaine scandal that was started against us from France, which was later denied by my drug test, in Spain there people have been making murals with my face saying "No drugs". Some tweets made us laugh: «Congratulations, Italy! I have never been so sure that four people have fucked each other ". Miley Cyrus started following us. "You are great". “You are more” . - Damiano

From rags to riches - what a story

It was only 2016, and we were playing in restaurants, on the streets, in via del Corso (famous street in Rome). Damiano without a microphone, Thomas's guitar with broken strings, Ethan drummed on a cajón. At the occupations of the high schools in Rome (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first gigs and half an hour of fame, between those who criticized us and those who said "these guys are so cool". One of the rare times in which they offered to pay us to play - 50 euros each - we offered that money to those after us, in exchange for the chance to play during their time slow, as we knew there would have been a bigger crowd. We already understood then how it worked. That visibility was worth more than the money. We still think so ». - Victoria

The intimacy of rock - Choice of a genre

Music allows is this miracle which allows one to talk about very personal and private topics, even difficult and delicate ones. They are and remain deeply yours, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage which is like a delivery, they also find their place in you, their elaboration. They are overcome, they are accepted. One moment it feels aggressive, one moment later a (soft) ballad. It's very cathartic. - Damiano

Against panic - The stage as therapy

I have suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it is a problem that I have worked on thanks to a course of psychotherapy, to my friends and family. Playing has helped me not to let myself be paralyzed by my fears, not to be limited in my private and professional life. I have learned to accept, to live with this side of me. I don't hide it. I no longer feel ashamed. - Victoria

This belief that only crazy people go to the psychologist is widespread ignorance. Nobody is born learned. And it is often difficult to understand why we are here, let alone the derivation and direction of our desires. It is a long and legitimate journey towards one's clarity. - Damiano

Essere fuori di testa – Ma diversi da loro (Be out of your mind - But different from them)

Already feeling a strong passion for something that is not a 'regular' profession but an artistic language, it puts you on a level where you're an anomaly, and while you're neither superior nor inferior to others, it places you in the condition of what breaks the mold but you're also being at a loss, leaving it to you to be bold and to take risks, hoping that they will pay off and land you somewhere. "What good is it if you don't stand out on your own?". You want to give it an aesthetic to your artistic dream, but to others it boils down to " You dress differently! You must be gay! ”, I'm 22 now and it makes me laugh, but at 17 it had an effect on me too. - Damiano

The beauty of being unique - Of believing in that and defending it

After all, we are all different not because we want to be alternative but because really no one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty. - Ethan

Fluid sexuality - Pride is freedom

We appreciate heels on men, we kiss each other, we have an open, extended mind, and we are proud of it. The horizons become vast, beyond the oppression of conservative families. With information on the web, knowledge is enriched and with it the possibility that minorities will be fewer and fewer, because majorities will be fewer and fewer. This will lower the volume to insults and bullying. If social networks can reach a village of 50 souls to reveal to someone, who is afraid of the darkness, that someone has felt that same fear.. There is no longer the need to give it a name, to define that "something" to fear, to brand it with labels that only limit you. Definitions have always had this effect on me. Gender should not even be considered in a person's judgment. Let alone orientation ". - Victoria

Sexism - A culture to be dismantled

Emma (Italian singer) dropped the bomb:" When I went to Eurovision, they insulted me over a pair of shorts. Damiano - half naked and in heels - was never criticized ". The judgment against women is constant, ferocious, and demeaning (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool but Vic a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader she is domineering and pain in the ass, who is successful because only because of her looks [and not the hard work she puts in]). As a male I am privileged, the harassment I suffer is not comparable to that experienced by a woman, the comments on my aesthetics are focused only on my aesthetics and do not insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thinking in a systemic way. But I did find myself in a situation, out of nowhere, with someone who, pulling close to her for a selfie, started licking my face ... "What do you want, did you ask me?" Consent exists, and it is a must ». - Damiano

To grow as a person - The only rule to follow

For me, to conform is the total opposite of educating oneself, and the asphyxiation of one's expression (of freedom). Fortunately, I did not suffer heavy bullying, to the point where I felt I needed to change to adapt to how others saw me. But the matrix of who I am and the aggression that marks me is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and loves dolls, then allow me the freedom to do so. I used to be a kid who wanted long hair and played with Barbies. My friends, as a teenager, looked my long hair and teased me: "You have to find yourself a girl with a short hair to make up for it". My grandparents took the dolls away from me and said: “Stop it, they're not for you” ». - Ethan

“I was six and I already could not tolerate the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things typically defined as feminine as a child, and they made fun of me for skating, for playing soccer, for not wearing skirts, for giving myself the chance to be as I wanted to be. I suffered a little, as I was bullied, but I had courage to stay true to myself, and today thanks to that courage I know that I could have been much more hurt, or I would have risked leaving the most important decision to others: the one about being just me". - Victoria

Love - music and girlfriends

I've been married to music for the past 20 years. I cannot wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary. - Ethan

Everyone goes through their own experiences, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, but it's never other people's business." - Thomas

When, for the first time, I developed feelings and attraction for a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage to go beyond the limitations I had imposed on myself. For society, being heterosexual is the norm and therefore often one automatically pegs himself in that way, giving up the freedom to experience many different shades and facets of love. Once I got over the initial insecurity of having to question one's own certainties, I lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone. - Victoria

I had paparazzi under my house morning and night. So, after four years of relationship, I finally revealed her name. I still have the paparazzi under my house morning and night, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore. - Damiano

The value of the group - Protecting each other

But the real relationship, the real family, is between us. Our band. We believed in it from the first day, even before calling ourselves Måneskin (moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon, on the poster for our first concert. We share everything, even the pain of the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because he was a victim of racism. Being a group is what we should all do together: stay united and not retreat in the slightest in the face of abuses generated by a distorted vision of someone "being different|. - Thomas

Non ho l’età – like Gigliola (It references Gigliola Cinquetti who won both Sanremo and Eurovision with her song "Non ho l’età" which translates to Not old enough)

Before us, the only one to win Sanremo and Eurovision together was Gigliola Cinquetti (in 1964). Is there is something for which I feel I am not yet old enough for? No, honestly no. Maybe for kids. I'll be honest, I'm not enough to be a dad. - Damiano

Reached the sky - What fears still remain

We are more than in the dream, we have conquered the dream. To fly high this high, there is the risk is to fall and get hurt, but we will try not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - somewhat presumptuously - reassures us rather than frighten us ". - Damiano

(ORIGINAL INTERVIEW IN ITALIAN)

[Please note that I have changed some words or structure sentence, trying to make it so that the interview made more sense lol - I skipped the first two paragraphs, which was basically the interviewer gushing over how pretty the band is lmao (relatable).

Any mistakes in the translation are sorely mine, nothing was proofread, so apologies in advance]

[in-the-whisper]

so i have been reading the bible for the first time in like five years and oh my god it has sucked so much the bible is so fucking hard to read. (and by read i mean i started with genesis and am currently halfway through Matthew) (i thought the bible was short but it's apparently 700k words long which is longer than the whole of the lord of the rings and the hobbit combined. so . no it isnt short)

two important thoughts for right now:

Life Lesson #1

i genuinely thought for the last like,, ten days that i would have to stop being a christian because as much as i Adore christian philosophy, it has to be grounded in the bible and if the bible is bad then it's all bad

here's part of a journal entry i wrote about it:

I include this because i want you to know that when im looking for answers I Mean Business and i am not above fundamentally changing everything about what i believe based on new evidence. it freaked me the fuck out but i needed to know that if god is evil and i find out about it that i will walk away rather than continue to worship a cruel sadistic God. im not making promises but if you believe in god then you know He Did make promises and one of them was that he loves wisdom, and that it is a good gift, and that he gives good gifts.

my point is that when questioning God, he says ask seek and knock. if he's real then he will show up. if he isn't real it's no longer your problem . \.-./ in my experience he usually shows up even if he takes his time and sometimes it isnt exactly what you want but it's enough to be satisfying (although a three month turn around is kind of insane in biblical terms and he provided me with a woman theologian which i did specifically demand i said i will not speak to a man about rape and i said that means there's nobody for me but Bam apparently there are women who managed to get in there. she's kind of a boss ngl. i also now have a book on theology that answered some of my questions nearly immediately. which is. kind of crazy. my questions typed up are 9 pages long so it's going to be a while ok lmao)

Life Lesson #2

The bible is Not an accessible read. it just isn't. the average person can not pick up the bible, start with genesis, and read through the book of revelation and walk away with ideas about god that are universally true. you would get the big important pieces, god is holy, sin is bad, jesus died for your sins, and he is coming again, repent, love people, love God. but to have a good picture of women's sexuality, rape, violence, war crimes, virginity, sexism, child abuse, murder, and capital punishment? to walk away with an immediate practically applicable moral framework? you will not understand jack shit about the law without research it just isn't going to happen. fortunately for us average people there are scholars who have labored for lifetimes trying to make this information accessible

in other good news Jesus provided us with the Dumb Fuck Version (affectionate): Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. If you can grasp that then you're good to go as far as biblical moral frameworks go, that's the most broadly applicable moral guideline you're gunna get. if you want answers to all your questions (i sure do) you're going to have to ,, suffer for it.

i will come back with more information compiled in a reasonable form but im on my first theology book and it's going to be the first of probably dozens. so i might not say anything for a while we'll see

Lilac, you might be thinking, doesn't the inaccessibility of the scriptures cause massive philosophical / theological problems? I currently think so but I'll let you know o7

[spiritunwilling]

hiiiii yen you have intrigued me, what is up with the divorce blorbo inlaws? whats happening and could they perhaps mail their marriage licenses to these- these three guys i know. who i hear want to get married soon. if they dont want them anymore i mean

okay so the day that feyre archeron gets a divorce in canon is the day pigs fly and stuff but i want her to get one so bad

feyre is from the book series a c /ourt of thorns and roses and i do not recommend and probably discourage anyone from reading the books because they are bad and have a lot of weird sex scenes and very questionable choices made by the author and while i really like some of the character concepts, sjm has dropped the ball on execution every time and nobody who gets more than a few sparse paragraphs of writing stays likeable. but at some point a few years ago you figure that ok ive read enough of these books by now and i like some of the minor characters enough that i might as well hate-read the other ones. and also bc i want custody of some of her characters so i can rewrite them. i have a different version of feyre in my head that diverges from canon right at the beginning of the series (usually i j call her feyer lmao) and in this ideal world she never gets fucking married in the first place

but the version of feyre that i am divorceposting abt is her and all the shit that's happened to her as of the latest and worst book, a/cosf. and well a lot has happened.

she got married (and got mated to, ick. im still 90% sure it's just plagiarised omegaverse but anyways it's like. soulmates. i guess. sjm herself can't seem to decide what it is if not a reason to force characters into relationships and have sex) to this guy named r/hysand, who has such a terrifying long list of red flags and Bad Shit He's Done that i cant sit here and list all of them because that would take too long and i'd probably miss quite a few but both the series and the character have very active crit tags. a lot of it is played off or ignored or excused away by the actual book bc in the series theyre supposed to be , like, a perfect couple. :|

and yeah the series only spans like. 3 or so years and feyre is 19 at the beginning of the series and 22 and full of trauma and she fucking died once and there was a whole war and the author decides that the best ending 4 her is to have her stay home and. have a fucking kid?? babygirl go get therapy go reconcile with your sisters go travel the world literally anything but this. also the pregnancy subplot is so incredibly fucked up. ummm basically r/hys gets overprotective to a disturbing and v controlling level and also when he realizes the pregnancy threaten's feyre's life he withholds this information from her so I need her to GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE RIGHT NOW

in my head it's maybe a year or two or three after the ending of acosf and feyre realizes how bullshit everything is and starts trying to figure out how to leave the night court (the faerie court that r/hysand rules over) with her kid and reaching out to her estranged sisters and old friends (also estranged. jesus) and getting her picture of my dress moment figuring out where she goes from there. sigh.

i don't think the night court has marriage licenses. or divorces? but in spirit it's a divorce.

and like. i like feyre. well, no I dont. [see: "nobody who gets more than a few sparse paragraphs of writing stays likeable"] but there's like these tiny moments in the first book that hint at some rlly compelling character traits that are unfortunately completely drowned out by the rest of the shitty romance. she keeps her oath to take care of her family even when it's easier to break it, even at the cost of her own life and her own happiness and she has a strained relationship with her sisters and feels like she's responsible for everything and has a complicated understanding with gender roles and her hunting and her capability for violence.

but canon doesn't touch on that.

[idontblushsrry]

Itadori Yuuji Boyfriend Headcanons

A/N: Reader is from America and a black female. Idk why i decided to write this but I think that Yuuji would be a fun boyfriend lmao. I don’t entirely know what the reader’s cursed technique should be so lmk if you have any ideas. Until then enjoy Yuuji and reader being 2 idiots in love. Spoilers for all the eps of jujutsu kaisen up to about episode 11, nothing past that though as I want to finish the show first before reading the manga, so please be respectful of spoilers and label them (and tag if necessary) in the comments. Also srry if this cuts off abruptly bcus of the point the show is at. This is also like, all over the place but whatever.

(also sorry this was posted later than usual oops)

Word Count:  1943

This dork-

He is so sweet and kind and considerate 

But also a dumbass but also like he’s your dumbass

You and Yuuji are both equally stupid like bless yalls hearts

You and Yuuji met during his time at the Tokyo Academy when you transferred from America

The moment this man saw you walk up with Gojo-sensei he was smitten

Like your skin was glowing??? how???

And you had a slight accent but like he loved it too

And when you came up to greet him and shake hands you smelled so good and your skin was so soft

((He would later come to find out that the root of that was the shea cocoa butter lotion you used))

But yea mans was smitten and he is fully in love with you lmao

Will do literally anything you ask

You hungry? He’s prepared a 5 course, michelin star meal

Want new clothes? He’s been training for the day he could hold your bags for you

Ran out of hair products?? He’s already back with a special box of your products that he had imported from America

To this day you don’t know how he was able to get those products so quickly

He is loves when you tell him things about you from your day, to your times in america, to how your cursed energy works

Yall are the couple that does stupid shit together

Like one time you showed Yuuji one of those life hack videos and he was like 

“We should totally do that” 

And you were like “Bet”

Needless to say Fushiguro was very confused at the sight of bandaids on both of your fingers the next morning

“???What happened?”

“Well you see, I told Yuuji that I should use the glue gun because he didn’t even know where to put the glue stick. And he said nah, I got it and um yea so I fell and the glue gun was plugged in and then he tripped over me and so now we look like this.”

Gojo and Kugisaki thought that this was hilarious while Fushiguro decided that he’d store your guys’ glue gun in his shadows from now on

How yall manage to get through missions you go on together alive is a miracle

Speaking of missions, you eventually ask Yuuji what’s his deal because you feel a powerful aura coming from him but he never uses cursed energy, always cursed weapons

Cue Sukuna’s mouth popping up on the side of his face like “Hey mamas”

(You can’t tell me that Sukuna isn’t the type of guy to ask where his hug at)

“YUUJI WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

“Oh, I guess you haven’t met Sukuna yet, huh?”

So he sits you down and explains how he ate Sukuna’s finger and you're sitting there like ‘mhm mhm mhm, sorry you what?’

For like 3 days after he told you that you couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him just because you were processing the fact that Yuuji ate someone’s nasty old ass finger and would have to eat 19 more

And the fact that he’s the vessel of like the worst curse known to man 

During those 3 days, Yuuji’s pouting because he’s like ‘I fucked up, now she doesn’t wanna kiss me let alone talk to me because of this monster inside of me :(’

Meanwhile you’re just like ‘why would anyone eat some random mummified finger?’

Eventually you get wind of Yuuji’s bad mood and immediately, you rush to smooth things over with him.

You knock on his door and hear blankets rustling before he goes, “I’m not in the mood to play fight right now Kugisaki’

“Can I come in baby?”

You immediately hear the most comical almost cartoonish amount of noise ranging from a cup falling over, sheets falling off the bed, and what sounds like Yuuji falling flat on his ass before he opens the door

When he does, you’re laughing and it’s like the sky is no longer grey and the world is filled with color

You smile at each other before your moment is interrupted with Sukuna going “Finally, full offense, his whining was getting annoying”

You step inside his room and apologize for ignoring him, explaining that you just needed time to process things, explaining that you should’ve told him that before dipping

He just grabbed you in a bear hug and lifted you of the ground and spinning you around laughing happily, after all he wasn’t even upset with you, he just missed you

And thus begins the honeymoon phase of your guys’ relationship

Fushiguro is actually really happy for you guys and is the most supportive of your relationship but if anyone asked him to admit that out loud he’d actually apparate to the nearest marooned ship

Nobura doesn’t hate you guys but she thinks all couples are disgusting, so while it’s nothing personal, she does gag when you and Yuuji do so much as make goo goo eyes at each other

Gojo is actually like the main cheerleader of your relationship. 

He is the teacher that changes the seating chart to put students he ships together

He was always pairing you and Yuuji up on missions and placing you as sparring partners like ur not slick

If Gojo is the cheerleader, Sukuna is an actual antagonist

Like the man goes out of his way to CHOOSE violence

Like on time you kissed Yuuji’s cheek on a date and when you pulled back, your lip was bleeding and Sukuna’s mouth was smirking at you

Another thing he likes to do is tell you all of Yuuji’s simp^tm thoughts

Like all of them

Now Yuuji isn’t ashamed of how much he loves you and is in fact very open with it, but he doesn’t need Sukuna telling you that the only reason he bought x mouthwash was because it made your breath smell like “sunshine” and he had to see if it would work on him

Speaking of dates, good luck

Now I stand by the fact that Yuuji would never half-ass a date and things with him are certainly never boring

But he’s also like a country boy in the city and his tourist tendencies tend to get the best of him

Like you’ll be trying to find a spot to eat and when you look back Yuuji’s gone

((Prolly to buy another I <3 Tokyo shirt so you can both match))

He always catches up with you ad you eventually learn that but like the first few times be havin you ready to put up a lost child signal on the loudspeaker

He’s very sweet and this is where his thoughtfulness shines through

You and Yuuji plan dates in the same way one plays bingo

Like because you never know where you’re going to be r when exactly you’ll both be free (especially with Gojo-sensei and his bare minimum ass information) you two tend to go ‘ok well if we’re here we’ll go here and if we’re here, we’ll go here’ and so on and so forth

But Yuuji always remembers such little one-off details about you that make your dates.

Like you mention wanting to try a sushi train and he’s already scrolled through multiple yelp reviews and watched every youtube restaurant review like 9 times

But every high has a low and Yuuji and your’s low comes suddenly and it brings you crashing to the ground with no warning and nothing to slow your descent

When your class of first years were sent to exorcise the special grade cursed womb

When Yuuji’s hand got blown off and he told you to run you froze, your mind racing faster than your legs could even start

“(Y/N) RUN!” Yuuji’s voice broke you out of your fear-based trance

“I- I...can’t...I can’t leave you!” you cried out all your rational senses screamed at you to go, run, he had Sukuna and you were barely a grade 2 sorcerer. But your intuition told you if you left him you wouldn’t see him alive again.

You were trapped in a paralysis of indecision but the choice was made for you when a sticky tongue wrapped around your midriff and you were gulped into the mouth of one of Fushiguro’s frogs

“Goddamn it Fushiguro! Let me go! I need to... save... him.” You were outside the building before you could even finish arguing.

You glared up at Fushiguro but your eyes softened some when you saw how beat up Kugisaki looked.

He gave you this look that said he did what he had to do and he didn’t care what you had to say about it 

You and him waited in the rain for Yuuji or Sukuna to exit the building

You tried to focus yourself and save your negative emotions for your cursed attack

When Sukuna inevitably appeared, one finger stronger, you were fully prepared to fight him

However, he didn’t seem interested in fighting you and more engaged in fighting with Megumi

You tried to urge Fushiguro to wait it out, eventually Sukuna would lose control, but when Sukuna took Yuuji’s heart hostage, you both knew you’d have to fight

You and Fushiguro gave it your all but when Yuuji came back he still died 

It took all your strength to not completely fall apart after his death and the support from the second years as well as Kugisaki and Fushiguro helped

You’d tried to visit him at the morgue but Shoko only told you that she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

You still slept in his sweaters and the things that smelled like him from time to time, trying to make the idea of him last, but after a month, the smell of him had started to fade

Everything about Yuuji’s memory seemed to become leached away with time, from his smell, to the wear present on things he’d given to you

You couldn’t help but feel resentful towards yourself but also to Sukuna, he’d taken Yuuji from you with the same care that one would throw litter on the ground

The pain in your chest didn’t wane either, it only became ignorable to a degree as training for the exchange with the Kyoto students became more intense

Fushiguro is a comfort to you as well, aside from you, him and Yuuji were the closest to each other and so he gets a lot of what you’re going through and doesn’t push when you become more withdrawn

He also lets you pet his demon dog too but when you ask him why he’s letting you pet it he just says ‘because no one would believe you if you told them’ lies

The bastard really just does it because he knows you’re sad and he doesn’t want you to be sad

Speaking of the Kyoto students, Zenin Mai and Toudou Aoi are permanently on your shit list

You’re relieved that Panda, Maki, and Inumaki came to your guys’ aid but like if you had your way Mai wouldn’t even exist

Anyways Maki has Panda physically restrain you while she tries to calm you down 

“(Y/N), you can kick her ass at the exchange!”

When you calm down, Panda puts you down and even though Mai’s long gone with Todou to go get his handshake, you make a promise that carries through the wind

‘Zenin Mai, pray that the next time you run across me I’m feeling kind, because if not-’, the last word is lost as the wind picks up but Mai feels a shiver rack through her body that more than ensures your message.