#I do love seeing them succeed and catching awards

[missnxthingg]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Actress!Reader (Enemies to Lovers & Fake Dating AU) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando Norris really messed up on the first time meeting one of Hollywood’s newest and hottest stars, Y/N L/N. But when his reputation gets too bad, she might be the only one who can save his career from being completely doomed. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 4.6K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - Swearing, mentions of sex, angst 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - Very very sorry for the delay! Life was a mess and I needed to get things in order. It's coming to an end 🥺 last one will be the last chapter, but let's enjoy while it lasts. Also, this one is for all of us Lando girlies who love to see him succeed in Interlagos!

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𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 - 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓

The morning after the fight was a rollercoaster of emotions for Y/N. She woke up feeling cold, the covers kicked to the bottom of the bed, and no one lying next to her. By now, waking up next to Lando felt familiar and too comfortable for her liking. She had grown fond of having him pressed against her every morning, his arms draped around her waist and his nose buried in her neck. It felt weird to not have him next to her when she opened her eyes. And then she remembered why he wasn’t there.

She really wished she could go back to sleep and pretend the previous night hadn’t happened.

Y/N wrapped herself around the covers once again and groaned, feeling almost like a truck ran over her body the previous night. She could blame it on the only margarita she had the night before, but she knew she could only blame the fight she had with Lando. The memories of them confessing their feelings for each other was almost too painful. It was killing them; and maybe it was for the best to call off their “relationship”, if they could even call it that.

As most days in November in Brazil, it was bright and sunny outside, but Y/N was convinced it was for the best if she stayed in for the entire day. Maybe she could catch up on her watching list on Netflix, order junk food and cry her heart out while no one was watching. After all, she was only required to go outside tomorrow, when her PR team asked her to accompany Lando to the paddock during media day.

She managed to not cry just fine so far that morning, but the universe was making it really hard to keep it together. If the emotions weren’t enough, Y/N found out that day that she was nominated for an Emmy Award. It was all over social media, with everyone congratulating her and posting clips of her performance on her latest show. Her phone was blowing up with calls and texts, but she didn’t have the energy to celebrate it.

Suddenly, it all felt too lonely. Y/N had just acquired the biggest conquest of her career, one that she has dreamed of her entire life, and she had no one to celebrate it with. The person she wanted to celebrate with the most was nowhere to be seen. So she cried alone in that hotel room, because there was nothing more she could do. She should’ve been out there celebrating that conquest, but she was weeping for the loss of Lando Norris, of all people in the world.

He wasn’t having the best days himself. After she left, Lando couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep even if he wanted to. He could only think about Y/N leaving their room crying after saying she didn’t trust him; after telling it all went wrong because he could only think about himself. All the work he did to try getting to her heart gone to waste, only because he forgot to apologize. 

After a couple of hours after finally getting some sleep, Lando was woken up by knocks on his door. Max had come for him after he didn’t answer his phone for the entire morning. His best friend understood what happened almost immediately when he opened the door, his eyes blood shot from crying too much. Lando sighed before crying more, feeling completely powerless with the situation he was trapped in.

“I fucked up”, Lando admitted, completely defeated. “And fuck, I love her so much. But she’s gone”.

Max tried to cheer him up, attempting to get the pieces back together before he was required to be on track, talking to countless journalists about his job. Lando didn’t want to talk about anything with anyone at that moment, only to Y/N if he could. In the end, with all the suffering he was going through, she was the only person he wanted to talk with to make it better.

“It’s not her fault. It’s my fault. All me. I’m always the problem”, he thought, all day. Everybody knows that Lando can get himself down a self depreciation hole, but now he actually knows it was all entirely his fault. So it was a little harder to get him out of there.

He heard of her Emmy nomination later that day, while they were waiting for breakfast at a bakery. Lando felt a boast of energy in his body, feeling so proud of his girl’s achievement. But when he remembered she didn’t want him there to celebrate it with her, he felt sad once again. He had to retreat back to his hotel room, because it was too painful to pretend nothing had happened while he was outside. People were starting to recognize him, and they could all see the sadness painted all over his face. He couldn’t do it anymore.

The first time Y/N and Lando met again after the fight was on the Thursday morning, as they were waiting for a car to pick them up at the hotel to drive them to the track. He felt uneasy to be around her, not getting to exchange a single world to her. She had grown into his best friend over the past couple of months, him always wanting to share everything with her all the time. So when she avoided his eyes like the plague, it hurt him too much.

Still, he wasn’t one to give up so easily. Lando approached her as she was distracted and said what he was dying to say the entire day. “Congratulations on your Emmy nomination. I’m very proud of you”, he kept his voice low, almost as if he was afraid to say those words. Y/N was looking away from him, but her eyes met his once she heard the words. It was as if she was trying to figure out if it was a figure of her imagination or if he was really saying it to her.

He finally got to see how bad she was as well. Lando knew her like the palm of his hand by then, so he could see that she was suffering too. But he saw a little bit of the light come back to her eyes with his words. But as much as she wanted to throw her arms around him and give him the tightest hug, she knew she had to be tough. So she toughened up and gave him the coldest response. 

“Thank you”, she nodded, looking the other way the second after. If Y/N stared into his eyes for too long, she would give into him. Only a few words from him were enough to ignite the fire on her heart once again.

“I would like to talk to you eventually”, he said, still facing only the side of her face. Lando watched her close her eyes and hold her breath. She was trying to not cry again. “If you want to, of course”.

“Not now, Norris”, she walked away without even looking him in the face.

It was hard to pretend everything was fine as they walked together in Interlagos, especially with the whole media surrounding them and ready to fire questions if they noticed something wrong. Luckily, since there was no racing happening, Y/N got to stay buried inside the McLaren motorhome until it was time to go back to the hotel once again.

Everybody noticed something was wrong, especially with the look on Lando’s face. His mood was so down that even Zak Brown noticed it. And judging by how Y/N hid herself in the McLaren hospitality until the whole thing was over, he put two and two together. He tried talking to Norris, but Lando kept assuring everything was fine. No one in the team, specially those who knew the relationship was fake, knew what was going on. How did the lovey-dovey couple go from posting cute pictures on social media to no talking in a couple of days?

Impressively enough, the whole thing that happened between Lando and Y/N didn’t affect his performance at all. He secured P2 in sprint qualifying and maintained the position on the sprint race. And if that wasn’t enough, he got pole position for the main race on Sunday. Yet, he couldn’t feel happy about it enough. None of that seemed to matter, because he couldn’t feel joy at all without Y/N.

He could’ve finished in any position – he could’ve won, for that matter – and he would still feel nothing. It hurt too much to receive nothing but an empty “congratulations” and a lifeless hug, just for the cameras to capture. Lando wanted to punch a wall, and he wanted to punch himself for what he did.

Later that day, when he was back at his hotel room with Max, Lando couldn’t control his crying anymore. He had been excellent at not bursting into tears through the past few days, but it was getting too hard to bottle in the feelings, especially when Y/N’s hands felt cold on his as they walked with fingers laced in public. His best friend had to hug him in order to hold him up and not crumble to the floor.

“Come on, mate. You need to stop crying and go get some rest for tomorrow”, Max pleaded, now having Lando sit down in his bed. “I know this whole thing is hard, but I can’t stand to see you this sad when you should be celebrating the perfect weekend you’re having”.

“I think I lost the love of my life, Max. So of course I’m crying”, Lando wiped off his tears, but they kept streaming from his eyes. “I can’t feel happy without her. She’s everything to me, and knowing I fucked her up makes me feel so stupid. I’m so fucking stupid to not apologize to her.  I did everything, but forgot the most important part of it all”.

“Have you tried apologizing again?”, Max asked and Lando nodded.

“I said I wanted to talk to her whenever she was up to talking, but she ignored me”, Lando sighed, throwing his back against the bed. “I would do anything to go back in time and fix this”.

“You don’t need to go back in time to fix this”, Max said. “Look, mate, she has admitted having feelings for you, right? So find the right words, put your pride aside and get her back”.

“You don’t know her. She is as hard-headed as I am. No simple apologize will make her forget the dickhead that I am”, Lando said. “And maybe I really don’t deserve her. She needs someone who has never treated her less than the amazing person that she is”.

“Lan…”, Max tried talking again, but his friend needed to vent more than hearing more advices.

“I would do anything to see her happy again, you know? It’s even worse to know she’s suffering too, because I can never get out of my head that it’s my fault. And I could make her so happy if she gave me another chance. I just know it”.

“I’m not the one who’s supposed to be hearing those words. Talk to her, tell her everything bottle inside you. This time, remember what I said: find the right words. And if it doesn’t work out, well… you already have nothing. You have to at least try”.

Lando went to sleep that night with Max’s words in his head. Months ago, he vowed he would do anything to make Y/N trust him, and he’s yet to try everything in his sleeves. There’s still one more chance, and he would take all the chances he had to have Y/N back.

When Sunday morning came around, Y/N felt almost hungover with the exhaustion from that week. She dragged herself out of bed for the fifth time that week and put on a sundress to enjoy the nice and warm weather outside. Then after breakfast, she waited at the meeting place in the hotel to get to the paddock, ready to put on her best acting and pretend everything was alright. Today would be crucial, because all the eyes would be on her and Lando through the main event of the weekend.

Through the night, before he fell asleep, Lando thought of a thousand ways to get Y/N to talk to him. And if she was finally going to listen to him, he knew what to say. But all his plans were lost when he saw her standing at the hotel lobby, waiting for the car to take them to the track. He thought of a lot of ways to approach her, but he simply rushed into her encounter. And as if their eyes were magnets, she turned to look at him just a few seconds before the collision. Before she could protest, Lando had her engulfed by his body.

She was taken by surprise with the action, but she was even more surprised to how her body reacted to it. Y/N immediately melted into his touch and let her arms around his shoulder, feeling her chest burning into flames and feeling easy to have him so close. She buried her face in his neck and let all the tears she was holding in for days finally fall in relief.

“I’m so sorry about everything”, he whispered in her ear, holding her a little tighter. “I have so much to apologize to you and the right words to say everything, but so little time right now. I don’t want to go one more second without talking to you, because it's been too much for me. I miss you, Y/N”.

“Lando”, she leaned back and looked between his eyes. Y/N could see how this entire thing has impacted him as well, and it hurt to see him hurt too. So she softly ran one of her thumbs though his cheek and smiled, tired of fighting.

“Y/N”, he encouraged, still too nervous with her response. But he felt a little better to see the smile on her lips once again.

 “Go in that car and win this race. For me”, she held his face between her hands and squeezed it carefully, assuring him that they were okay, at least for now. Lando was so happy that he pulled her back to the hug.

“For you, anything”, he kissed her forehead, knowing a proper kiss would be too far. “I promise that after the race, I have so much to talk to you about”.

“Don’t worry about it now, okay?”, she searched for his hands and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll talk later”.

Lando couldn’t let go off Y/N after that. They still were very quiet around each other, but it was a relief to have her hands laced with his all the time. Even better to have his arms wrapped around her as they cuddled in his driver’s room during his break. And you can bet he felt amazing when she pressed a kiss to his cheek before helping put on his balaclava.

“Good luck, Lan”, she whispered in his ear as he pulled him for a hug. “I trust you”.

And with the words he has been waiting for months to hear, Lando went into his car with the boost of confidence he needed. So far, he hadn’t won a race in Formula 1, but he had been so close for a lot of weekends. Always P2, never the winner. But now he had the confidence who could make him pass anyone in front of him. He was going to win for Y/N, just because she asked him to. So when he crossed the chequered flag before any other driver, he felt his entire life flash right in front of his eyes. Every sweat and tears dropped for this moment, who had been a long time coming. All these years had finally paid off.

Once he parked the car, everything moved in slow motion for him. The mechanics pulling him in for a hug, and all the other drivers who came to congratulate him as well. It could be a scene taken out of a film, quite easily. And when Lando saw Y/N standing right next to Zak Brown behind the barricade, he could feel his heart at his mouth. She was drowning in proud tears, applauding him with all of her strength. So he didn’t care about anyone else who was calling his name; he simply approached her and gave her the biggest kiss they ever shared. 

It’s been only a couple of days since he had last kissed them, but Lando missed her lips as if it had been a year since he last did it. And with that, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders, knowing everything was finally alright. His reputation was saved, he had a race win, and he had his favourite girl right there with him. It couldn’t get better than that.

Lando chased her lips once she tried to break off the kiss, not wanting to let go off her yet. But she managed to separate them between giggles. “My P1. I’m so proud of you, Lan, congratulations!”

“I love you”, he mumbled against her lips. “I love you so fucking much”.

Y/N didn’t say it back right at that moment, because there’s still a lot that needed to be said between them before those three words. But she kissed him again, and it said it all. She didn't have to say she loves him because Lando knew it. Looking into her eyes, tasting her on his lips, he knew she felt the same. So he didn’t care about getting no response, because he knew it all in his heart.

“I’ll be back in the blink of an eye. I promise you”, Lando pressed another quick peck to her lips before proceeding with everything he’s required to after the race.

Lando stood on the tallest step of the podium and raised his trophy as high as he could. He splashed his champagne bottle to make a mess on everyone, spotting Y/N on the ground and spraying the liquid far enough to reach her downstairs. He was glowing, and anyone could see that. It showed through the pictures, the interviews, the small talks with people from his team. McLaren made sure the debrief was short so they could all go celebrating the moment that has been a long time coming.

He was ready to party, but there was one more thing left to do.

“You stink of champagne”, Y/N was giggling between his arms. He was spinning her around as they walked into his hotel room, finally having some time along after the race. Nothing could kill the big smile he had stamped on his face.

“Smell it. It’s Chanel”, he joked, pulling Y/N for another kiss. Lando had her pressed against the door once it was close, and it felt too good to have his breath taken away once again by her kisses. He wanted to touch her everywhere just to know she was really there, but once his hands darted under her dress, she stopped him there.

“Not now, Lan. We still have a lot to talk before all of this”, she broke off the kiss, and he agreed with a nod. Suddenly, he was nervous once again, knowing the talk they needed to have had the potential to fix or fuck everything. “Hey, where’s that big smile you were giving me before? I miss it”.

“It is terrified of losing you”, he admitted, making Y/N’s eyes soften for him. She rubbed her thumbs on his cheeks and pouted, making him open a small grin once again. “But you’re right, we need to talk”.

“We don’t need to do this right now, Lando”, she said as he pulled her to sit in bed. He cut her before she said anything else.

“But I want to”, he said, pulling her hands to entwine with his. “Listen, I don’t think any amount of words can fix what I did to you in the past, but I'm very, very sorry. For every bad thing I said about you and every time I mistreated you. Y/N, you never deserved to hear those words from anyone, and I'm sorry I took too long to realize that”.

Y/N nodded and waited quietly while listening to what he had to say. But she could tell that he was nervous, so she encouraged him by rubbing her thumbs on the back of his hand. Lando looked down and smiled at the gesture. It showed how much she cared about him, even though he keeps fucking her up.

“You jumped into this crazy idea just to help me in the blink of an eye, and I never showed you gratitude. Even when I didn’t deserve, you were kind, and you took care of me. And I kept breaking your heart over and over again”, he admitted. “And I regret all of that. I'm so sorry, and I promise you, I'll change”.

“You already have changed”, she ran her fingers through his curls and looked between his eyes. “I know you have, Lando, or else I wouldn't have opened up to you. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that it was really happening. So I tried to shield myself as much as I could from falling in love with you”.

Lando nodded, a little sad to know that he hurt this relationship so much that she tried not to feel anything for him. But it was nice knowing she felt the same all along, even though they needed some healing.

“And I know you're not the idiot you used to be with me. I understand that you changed and, for you, I would do anything. I would do it all again if I had too”.

“I'm sorry for being so selfish. I was so busy thinking about myself that I forgot how much I had hurt you in the past. I forgot to apologize, and I thought that giving you flowers and kisses would be enough to mend a broken relationship from the start. I was willing to do anything to make you trust me that I forgot the most important part of it all”.

“You understand my point, right?”, she asked, and he agreed with his head. “You showed me that you’re someone worthy of loving, but I just couldn’t trust you at all, because you never showed regret. But now, looking you in the eye, I know that you truly are sorry”.

“I regret every bad word I ever said about you”, he assured. “I think I made my point very clear, but I want to assure you that this thing we have, with sex and the ‘enemies with benefits’, was never just that for me. I would always have that tingle in my heart whenever I was intimate with you and with all the little nice interactions we had, my ice heart started melting for you”.

“Trust me, I know the feeling”, she assured him between giggles. “I also have to apologize to you. The insults weren’t one-sided. And I know you might think it’s all your fault now, but we both know I was a bitch to you as well. So to start in the right place, I have to say, I’m sorry too”.

“Well… I deserved it”, he shrugged, hanging his head down, but Y/N softly brought it up by taking it between her hands.

“No, you didn’t, Lando. You filled me with compliments, and now it’s your turn to take them”, she said. “You also have the kindest heart in the world. You take care of people, and you’re always the energy in the room. You’ve taken care of me on times I needed, and you brought light into my days. You taught me the purest form of love. You make me laugh, and you make me feel like a princess whenever I feel like I'm a monster. You're a good person, Lando. So if anyone is a bitch to you, they better apologize”.

“I used to be so scare of love, but you make it so easy”, Lando looked at her with adoration in his eyes, feeling so great to have his face between her hands. “I love you so much”.

She smiled at him, knowing for sure that now it was safe to say it back. With her eyes filled with tears, she admitted: “I love you so much too, Norris”. 

Y/N pulled him for a sweet kiss, finally pouring all the feelings she had for him into her actions. And he savoured every single second of finally having his dream girl all to myself. Lando slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer.

“I thought I had lost you”, he whispered against her lips, feeling his eyes welling up with tears of relief. He felt it all too hard in his chest. “I'm so glad you're here with me”.

“Yeah, I thought we were doomed”, she admitted too, lacing their fingers together and giving his hand a squeeze. “But love always finds a way”.

“For you, I'll hang the stars in the sky, only to bring them back down if you want them back”, he confessed, now pulling her face between his hands. “I hope we can finally stop with the PR thing, or the friends with benefits thing, or whatever other stupid label between us, and properly be a couple”.

She giggled with him and nodded in agreement. “I want it all with you, Lan. You and me, to the end of times”.

“Forever, my love”, he pulled her for a hug and pressed countless kisses to the top of her head. “Also, now that you’re finally talking to me, congratulations again on your Emmy nomination. I’ve never been so proud of you”, he poked her sides and she laughed with his actions.

“Thank you, love”, she kissed his nose, making him blush a little.

“I’ll never get enough of praising you for this. I was so happy when I heard the news. I knew you were extraordinary, and it was just a matter of time until they recognized it”, he affirmed. “I almost exploded for not getting to celebrate it with you”.

“To be fair, I celebrated it crying alone in my room”, she confessed between laughs. Lando's heart faltered at the confession and his smile dropped. Y/N deserved a proper celebration to this incredible achievement in her career.

“You're kidding, right? So we have three things to celebrate tonight”, he said, making Y/N frown in confusion.

 “What's the third thing to celebrate?”

“My grand prix win, your nomination and our love, now very much official”, he cracked a smile, making her laugh with his statement. Y/N just had to pull him for another hug and lots of cheek kisses.

“You’re so adorable”.

“Come on, let’s get ready. We have a party to go to”.

As she watched him waltz into the bathroom for a shower, all smiley and happy, Y/N felt her heart lighter again. Everything was exactly where she wished for it to be, and she could finally enjoy it all with him. Love is weird, and sometimes it blossoms in places you would never expect. But it’s good to know you’re loved back, especially by someone as amazing as Lando. In the end, love always makes it right.

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

⤳ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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crossed means i can't tag you! dm me and maybe we can get it fixed

[forlorn-crows]

Crowwwwww babyyyyyyy what if i said quintessence assitsted somno where Swiss wakes up and finds light sleeper Dew huffing his way thru a wet dream uses that itty bitty bit of spooky shadow magick he has to keep Dew under while he plays with his cute little cock and teases his nipssss

this one got a little long but i wrote the entire thing through terrible brain fog so . . . i still hope you like it 🥺

consensual dubious consent somnophilia / transmasc swiss (cock/dick/folds/cunt for his anatomy) / 'kitten' used as a petname

Dew’s stomach tenses under his palm, the muscles contracting and releasing with another breathy moan. His cock does the same, throbbing against the air, the sheets long since kicked to the end of the bed from naked, tousled-limb sleep. 

Swiss loves when he gets like this. Unabashed. Body completely taken by his dreams. He’ll forgive Dew for waking him up if it’s because he’s twitching and groaning so nicely. Swiss wouldn’t dare miss his chance to watch. To fondle. To fuck with. 

The multi ghoul reaches down between his legs, eyes still trained on his face. He grabs hold of Dew’s cock, squeezing at the base. Smirking when it earns him a pretty whimper and a twitch of his upper lip. 

“That’s it, come on,” Swiss goads quietly, stroking from root to tip. Milking a pearl of wetness to the tip. He only succeeds in getting a few more strokes in before Dew’s legs tense and his brows pinch together. 

“Wha . . .” he rasps, face contorting fully into confusion. Swiss just watches him stumble into consciousness, hand still stroking as his brain catches up to the sensations of his body. Dew grumbles and blinks his eyes open, struggling to find the source of disturbance in the dark of the room. 

Swiss gives him a squeeze, and he yips. 

“The fuck—’wiss? Why’re you-ugh.” Swiss squeezes him again, and he throbs. 

“Shh, don’t worry about it, baby,” he coos, falsely sweet. “Lookin’ so good, I just had to touch.”

Dew grumbles again, half-heartedly pushing on Swiss’ arm. “Get off,” he whines.

The multi ghoul easily presses him back down to the bed with a hand on his sternum and clicks his tongue. “Just have some nice dreams for me, sweetheart, ‘kay?” He gathers a little ball of magick under his palm, as light as an exhaled drag of a joint. Smoky like it too, dark and swirling as it hovers over Dew’s chest. 

“Y’re a di—” But he doesn’t get to finish his insult, because Swiss presses that little ball into his skin, imbuing it with an easy slumber. His voice dies off with a sigh, pupils going in opposite directions as his eyes flutter back into his head. The hand on Swiss’ arm goes limp and falls back down to the bed, as does his head as it lolls to the side on the pillow. His dick, of course, still stays hard, and to Swiss’ delight, a snore rumbles softly out of Dew’s chest on his next inhale, mouth nice and lax. 

He flicks at the jewelry running through his nipple. “Out like a light,” he teases. “So much better when you let me do what I want.” He throbs between his legs at the prospect.

He abandons his cock in favor of his chest. Pinching both nipples until they darken and stick out. He’s awarded a hitched sigh as he continues to pull. Twisting and tugging until Dew’s fingers start to twitch against the mattress. Swiss knows he’s playing with them past the point of pleasure, but it’s one of his favorite things to do—play and flick and pinch until they’re red and almost swollen. His chest grows red too, a rosy blush that grazes his jawline and bleeds down to his collarbones just as slow and syrupy as the line of saliva tracking down from the corner of his mouth. 

Swiss tsks. “Always so messy. Your cock drooling, too?” 

He looks down and sees that it is—throbbing against the air, too. The multi ghoul hums and considers what to do with it. Suck him until he blows? Keep him hard and unfulfilled? His cunt throbs, reminding him of what he really wants. To use him. Milk him dry. 

“Time to play, baby.” Swiss straddles his thighs and hisses as he strokes himself at the sight before him. Dew sighs through a quiet moan, eyes tracking behind his eyelids as he dreams. His little cock jumps again, bumping against the back of Swiss’ hand and streaking it with precum.

“Needy,” he chastises. Even in sleep, Dew’s body begs for him. Whether he’s dreaming of Swiss or someone else, he doesn’t mind. So long as he stays placid and moldable by the multi ghoul’s hands. “Just want something tight and warm to stick it in, don’t you?” Another throb. “Yeah, little guy knows what it wants.”

Swiss shuffles up a little further so he can settle Dew’s cock between his folds. He grinds over the length of it. Sighing at the heat of him, the way the tip kisses against the head of his own. 

“Wanna cum in it so bad, don’t ya? So hard, baby,” Swiss coos, grinding a little harder. In his sleep, Dew’s eyes flutter, no doubt crossing behind his eyelids as he sighs with a breathy groan. His cunt clenches. “Lemme see how much you like that.”

Swiss reaches up to his face and pulls back one of his lids, indeed finding the blown-out pupil turned towards his nose. He wiggles his hips and watches as it twitches upwards, only to slowly roll back down again. He smooths back the other eyelid and finds the same; cross-eyed at the dreams in his head and the real feedback from his body. Dew’s thigh twitches beneath him.

Swiss hums. “So cute, kitten. Wish you’d let me see that all the time.” He lets Dew’s eyes close once more, patting him on the cheek before going back to his task. 

It doesn’t take long to slick up proper, not with the endless amount of precum drooling from Dew the harder he grinds. He’d love to stick it in barely wet, really make the skin pull and catch. Could, under normal circumstances. The both of them rather like the little tinge of challenge, of pain. But the fire ghoul’s cock just won’t stop blurting out wetness until the noise is lewd and creamy between them, so he has no choice but to be soaked with it. 

The multi ghoul groans bodily as his little cock plumps up to full hardness, heartbeat practically beating in his stomach. He reaches down and gives it a rub to alleviate some of the built up arousal, groaning even louder. Dew’s dick kicks in response. 

“Fuck, baby,” he sighs. “Could get off just like this. Make your pretty cock just beg to get inside me while I cum on it. Watch you squirt all over yourself when you just can’t keep it in anymore.”

“Hu-uh,” Dew gurgles, tossing his head to the other side of the pillow.

“Yeah, I bet,” Swiss replies, not unlike he’s conversing with a babbling kit. He twirls his finger around himself, indulgent. Dragging up through the hair on his mound and his belly, spreading the slick there as he admires the sleepy form beneath him. “Think I wanna fuck you more, though.”

Swiss rises to his knees and preps to do just that—leaning forward just so, taking a moment to spread the mix of slick and precum throughout his folds, and reaching below to grasp Dew’s cock at the base and raise it proudly. He runs the head of it along his slit, up and down and back again with agonizing slowness that makes even his own blood pound. 

“Shit, baby, you make me so hard,” Swiss grunts. “You feel that? How hot you get me?” He nudges the tip against his entrance, fluttering it purposefully to wring another quiet gasp from Dew’s slack mouth. And again, he brings it up towards his own length, sitting the little head of it on top of Dew’s. Snuggling it into the slit just for it to get coated with a pearly bead of pre when he squeezes his hand around the base. 

“Un-h-holy shit.” Any semblance of eloquence he had in this situation dies on his tongue at the sight. “Fuck, get it inside.”

He shifts Dew’s cock back to his hole and sinks down. Gasping at the first pop of the head as it slides inside. All the way down until their hips meet and Swiss can feel him nudged just in the right spot. He braces his hands on Dew’s chest and gives an experimental wiggle.

“Yeah, right there,” he groans. “Fuck.” The multi ghoul starts a nasty grind, tilting his pelvis so his dick rubs against Dew’s happy trail with each buck of his hips. It’s a cross between a tickle and harsh scratch, but the stray pre dripped into the hair makes for a delicious slide. He’s so hot inside, throbbing with every movement.

“Good toy, kitten,” Swiss rasps. He tosses his head back, spreading his thighs so he really gets in deep and prods at all of his secret spots. “Guhfuck.”

“Fuu—huh—” Dew echoes, tail sweeping towards his calf. It’s all the warning Swiss gets before he’s spilling inside with a shudder, cumming far too quickly for his liking. But still, it’s hot and wet and gets his own dick throbbing even more. 

“Fuckin’ fill me up,” he grunts, bouncing to fuck it in deeper. “But don’t think I’m done with ya, baby.”

[lovelyiida]

bakugou and reader being seen as a power couple by the media!

you're my favorite writer here btw

☔

❥: omg I’m your favorite? GUEHEHUEHE

bakugo x (gn) reader, swearing, mentions of suggestive content, protective partner, mentions of arguing

At first, it was mutual trust between the two of you that propelled you to where you are today. Bakugo knew you were a hard worker; you took your title seriously, and most importantly—you kicked ass.

Both of you were paired at Best Jeanist Agency back in high school and only spoke here and there. However, when you both made it to the big leagues, you saw each other more often. Due to the familiarity of being around each other years ago, you began to form a strong bond.

And some strong unknown sexual tension...

When you fought side by side, you were an invincible duo, your quirks complementing each other seamlessly. With your somewhat "healthy" communication (besides a snide comment here and there) skills, you both maintained a very business-friendly relationship.

But the both of you easily saw through that.

Of course, both of you noticed the drawn-out gazes, protective hand placements, and the subtle brush of hands during patrols. It wasn't until sooner or later that the media would catch both of you in a rather steamy slip-up.

A star duo was born!

The relationship was embraced positively by both the media and the general public, particularly during interviews.

“So, Mr. Dynamite…how did you know (hero name) was the one for you?” the bright and bubbly interviewer asked.

Harsh florescent lighting, tight hero suits, a raging headache, 3 hours of sleep, and a single cup of coffee was all it took for Bakugo to snap. Which was impressive because the interview passed the five minute mark.

“Look at them and tell me you wouldn’t wanna [REDACTED] them? That’s why, nothing else, nothing more,” the blonde stated matter-of-factly.

A beat of silence washed over the room, the interviewer left speechless, gazing back at the camera with pleading eyes for a live cut.

Turning towards the interviewer with a smile, you shrug your shoulders with a quick motion and nod.

“Yep, I’d agree with him.”

Boom, 10 million views, an increased paycheck, a higher position on the hero chart, and a multitude of sponsors to choose from.

The people loved both of you.

You were raw, unscripted, intense, and caring. What more did the people not want to see?

Your profound connection was evident to everyone. From the way you seamlessly covered each other on missions to the tender hand squeezes and kisses on the cheek, such as when Bakugo accepted an award at the hero gala.

Publicly and privately, the two of you were a power couple, a dynamic force that some found almost too good to be true. Certain individuals, often claiming to be fans, went to great lengths, attempting to psychoanalyze every move in an effort to discredit your relationship as a mere PR stunt.

These obsessive "fans" even went as far as paying a multitude of hidden paparazzi to spy on both of you, desperately trying to unearth a flaw, a hiccup, or a mistake to exploit. However, whenever it seemed like they might succeed, both of you swiftly shut down any rumors with quickness.

[BREAKING] PRO-HERO COUPLE found arguing at MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR HOME

Yikes, the header photo did appear somewhat convincing.

Bakugo was pictured bellowing at the top of his lungs, and the expression you pulled back wasn’t the sweetest. But, of course, context is key.

Soon, you were sat in front of a camera to do an embarrassing PR apology...

“Just making it clear for all you weirdos out there, Dynamite and I were indeed having an argument... and I apologize that you had to witness a grown man getting worked up over discovering that Iceland is, in fact, not a land covered in ice. It's quite the opposite.”

Later transitioning smoothly into another interview, both of you now share a laugh about it. “I had to explain it to him for almost 20 minutes, and he was genuinely upset. Yelling at me like I'm the crazy one!” You chuckled.

Glancing over, you see Bakugo rest his hand on your thigh and let out a chuckle. “Yeah, and I still think you're [REDACTED] wrong.”

“Language!”

Oh, the power couple you were…

YAY IM FINALLY BACK!

❥: @xo-evangeline , @nar00 , @king-dynamight , @gold24fish , @lovra974 , @bakugospartner , @gaby-11 , @akqsa-xxi , @jolynegf , @goldenglow149 , @aliruuiz , @zukowantshishonourback , @ilovedenk-i , @atsushiki , @smolbeanzzz , @lem-hhn , @stevenknightmarc , @ryumiii , @idontevenknowlolls , @lyn07 , @kennshifts , @ackerman-suck-3-r , @elegantvoids , @thecurlyhairedgoddess , @sunyrose , @thisbicc , @thekookiecorner , @snxwycloud , @skylardarling

[jamietarttsnorthernattitude]

Worbs

Share, ankle, head, or wrist?

Thank you for the worbs by wonderful friend <3

Share from thought i wanted love ('til you showed me what it was):

Four days later, James still hadn’t left.  After that first sleepless night, Jamie came up with a plan—one that allowed him to forgive his father, one Ted would be proud of him for. Jamie offered his house, and as long as James continued to attend AA meetings, he could stay. A change of scenery had helped Jamie; why wouldn’t it help James? His father ensconced himself in Jamie’s spare room, and it was fine.  It would be fine.  He would take it day by day, just like his father said they did in AA.  Jamie spent his second sleepless night debating whether he should tell anyone about his Dad. He definitely couldn’t tell Mummy. Maybe he could tell some of the team, though? Sam wouldn’t judge him, but he wasn’t sure he could handle their pitying faces. But he didn’t have to decide now, did he? He could always tell them later. Maybe his Dad would leave after a few days, and there wouldn’t even be anything to share.

I got 112 words on the sprint <3

Ankle from the home invasion fic:

“We found a safe in the basement. You’re going to unlock it for us.” The two began to drag Jamie towards the wall, only for his ankle to give out on him the first time he transferred weight to it. He would’ve crashed to the floor if he wasn’t being held upright. Jamie could feel where the bruises from their grip on his arms would be.  “There’s nothing in it, please,” Jamie begged. “Please just let me stay here. I’ll give you the code you can see for yourself. It’s just like my birth certificate and shit. A copy of my contract. Nothing worth anything. It’s just fireproof.” “Forgive me if I don’t believe you, mate. Let’s go.” Jamie had one last chance to make a break for it. 

Added 163 words on a sprint!

Head from it makes me mad, it makes me sad, i break in half:

Roy followed closely but went immediately to the tub, turning the knob and testing the water before rummaging for bubbles under Jamie’s sink. Jamie watched with interest as he filled the tub with the bubbles and then added Epsom salts. Roy disappeared, and Jamie slowly peeled his t-shirt off. It hurt to lift it over his head, and Jamie wasn’t sure he’d be able to lift his arm on the side with the bruised ribs. He slipped from his shorts as Roy re-entered the bathroom, holding a cup, a couple of towels and a face cloth.  “What’re you doing, mate?” Jamie asked.  “Going to help you,” Roy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

And added 193 words via sprint!

Wrist from if i glued myself shut, you would find your way in:

Jamie concentrates on watching Monroe the rest of the match while keeping to his position as best he could. The good news is Monroe isn’t as keen to stay in his position and keeps drifting to Jamie knocking into him at any point or attempting to tackle him. Monroe is angry, but Jamie’s angry and fast, so most of his attempts don’t succeed.  But as the match ticks on, each step jars Jamie’s wrist, and the pain is zapping his energy, Jamie can feel the adrenaline leaving his body as he struggles to keep up with his team and opponent. It’s injury time when Monroe finally catches Jamie flat-footed, and Jamie goes down hard, rolling a few stops. The refs award a free kick, and Jamie struggles to remember to breathe, feeling as if a knife has somehow embedded itself in his wrist and thumb. 

And I added 404 words in a sprint!

[bengiyo]

My School President Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

We're nearing the end and heading back to the beach.

Last week, we finally faced Hot Wave, but not before saddling Tinn with the responsibility of keeping a health scare away from Gun. Gun finally learned how much Tinn has done for him, and the two are finally looking at each other properly. I still tear up watching the video for Let Me Tell You when I think about the last thing Mrs. Gim might have seen was her son singing his heart out on stage.

I know I said last week that it didn't matter if they won at this point, but this shit hurted. I think about how much of a loser Gun feels like all the time, and he put so much hope into this competition.

Win and Gun haven't gotten into any universities.

Chinzhilla is not okay, and you can feel them tearing at the seams.

Oh, Gun, please talk to Tinn.

Wasn't exactly expecting Por to be the one trying to hold the band together, and it's so sad to see him crying alone.

I'm so relieved that Mrs. Gim is okay and seems like herself. She consistently asks the right things to Gun so he's receptive to more uplifting perspectives.

Oof, Fourth is so dehydrated in this hospital scene. Get some chapstick for my boy.

Tinn remains the best boy. He knows things aren't great for Chinzhilla and so arranges a performance before a friendly crowd, and he was trying to bring a gift for his boyfriend's mom.

I like the design of Tinn's family's home theater setup.

Baby Tinn photos!!

You know Tinn's parents have their shit together. They both have actual pajamas.

I get Photjanee. She can be worried about her son without being a villain. She worries that she wasn't a good mother. She worries that she can't help her son and that be won't forgive her. She cares that she was a good partner to her husband.

At least the show is doing some interesting character work with the band's loss. Win's breakdown is affective, and I like Sound just letting him get the feelings out.

Oh good. They're by the pool. Hopefully we get Gun back on his feet.

It's interesting seeing them okay in the past without Sound, because now it feels like he's missing.

I feel so much for Gun, because he's just a a guy, you know? We see him through Tinn's eyes a lot, but so many other things and people tell Gun that his best isn't enough.

Fourth is a good crier.

"I want to eat you." Listen, Mark Pakin, you have no idea how hard these folks ride on crumbs.

The greatest subversion of a trope ever is future winner of the 2023 NAMGOONG BEST BOY AWARD Tiwson not catching Por before he fell down those stairs.

That's right, Por. Get these boys back to the beach.

I just knew they were gonna cut off the question. I like Photjanee going to see Gun away from school. I like that she seems to be trying to understand Gun more now that she's aware of his importance to Tinn.

Look, y'all, I have never doubted Photjanee, and we're seeing it here. Whatever reservations she has, she's not inflicting them on Tinn. She didn't forbid the trip.

Gun's shirt says TOGETHER FOREVER in a heart shape.

Gosh I love Chinzhilla, but they do seem to always face unforseen troubles.

Did Phat just quote Sam from The Lord of the Rings??? I'm gonna McFuckinLoseIt.

I love playing You Got Ma Back as they make the trek together.

Things were getting tense. Oishii must save us. Everyone drink the BL Juice so we can make it up the mountain.

Gosh Chinzhilla is so dumb together sometimes. Tinn's reactions to them are golden.

A band is a little family, and only family can cut you this deep. And just like that, they also come back together. I just really want them to succeed together.

Of course Tinn went with Gun to get water for them while they rested.

I love these boys so much. Gun just didn't want to let his friends down.

I NEVER ONCE DOUBTED PHOTJANEE. This is how parents should work out their worries for their kids. We talked about this during 21 Days Theory, and here we are again. You talk with the other parent or caregiver, and you make sure that whatever your kid might face, you have their back.

Suddenly Tiwson. You just knew he was gonna show up. Ford Arun, you be careful with those eyes too!

"I want veggies." We know, Fourth.

Oh, Yak. You're such a weirdo, but you care. He remembers them as glowing. I love this show when they tried to sing their seniors home. Now they're singing themselves home. I need to lay down.

Oh my God. I said it felt like Sound was missing, and so they just put him in this song.

And now Tinn is here? Help

They let Tinn and Tiwson be part of the Chinzhilla tribute. I am HOLLERING through my TEARS.

Tinn for him a music box that plays the song he wrote for him. I can't take anymore! I surrender!

Noh Shinwoo would love Tinn.

I swear this show better not deny me like Mr. Unlucky or I will revolt.

FINISH YOUR DRINKS!!!

Okay, Tinn, you're getting smoother.

I believe in Photjanee. This cliffhanger and preview cannot stop me.

[sylvia-forest]

[CN] Shaw's 5th Anniversary Event - Prologue

⚡ Warning: This post contains detailed spoiler's for an Event which hasn't released in EN yet!⚡

[This was translated with the help of Google translate and by my friend!]

✧[Prologue]✧

Staff: Goodbye boss~

MC: Goodbye, everyone has worked hard today~

I said goodbye to the staff with a smile, picked up my bag and walked out of the studio. Then my eyes bumped into the familiar figure at the door.

MC: ……

- I gasped when I saw that eye-catching blue-purple hair. I snorted, and stepped to the side, ready to leave through the small door— —

Staff: Isn't this classmate Shaw? Waiting for the boss?

Shaw: Well, what about her?

Staff: I just greeted her when she came out, strange, …

Staff: Oh, there you are! Boss, your classmate Shaw is here to pick you up again!

As soon as the voice fell, I felt a sharp gaze piercing my neck, and I turned around subconsciously.

His eyes were still locked on me, forcing me to come slowly over.

The employee smiled and said goodbye to both of us, only Shaw and I were left standing at the door, my gaze was wandering, only staring at his collarbone, not daring to look up at all.

MC: Cough, I went out with my head down and didn't notice you coming….

Shaw [mockingly]: Is that so?

Shaw: So, now that you see it, can you go now?

MC: Hey I haven't— —

Without waiting for me to finish, Shaw's arm went forward and grabbed my hand and walked towards the door.

He might have just finished a can of Coke, and his palms were still damp from the aluminum cans condensation, as cold as his voice.

I didn't want him to succeed so quickly, I struggled lightly, and he angrily clasped my fingers so tightly that there was almost a pain coming from the knuckles.

At this moment, the wetness of his palm, contrary to his usual touch, and the strength of his grip, as if as a punishment, brewed an indescribable anxiety in me.

- If only I hadn't fought with Shaw at that time.

This was the only phrase that remains in my mind.

In fact, I can't remember the reason why I was angry with him in the first place, except that every time I tried to reconcile, other unpleasant things came up.

Now that it led us to both be unconvinced, none of us would want to be the one to lower their heads.

But he came to pick me up today.... Does that mean he wants to be subdued?

In that case, I, as a working adult, should not be angry with a college student for so long ...... really not very mature!

As we walked, I peeked at Shaw, wondering how to ease the atmosphere between the two parties, when his eyes suddenly dropped and met my gaze towards him.

Shaw [gasp]: ……!

Shaw: Next week….

MC: What did you say?

Shaw [nervously]: I said that recently there is an event called... cough, "World of Love", free up your time and go with me.

MC: Sure, when?

Shaw: Next week. This week I'm going to a study meeting with the department in a neighboring city.

Shaw paused, and added another sentence unprecedentedly.

Shaw: I didn't really want to go, but Mr. Shen said it was inappropriate for the winner of the Cultural Heritage Award not to go, so that's why I'm going ...... Anyway, I will definitely come back before the event starts.

MC: Well, it's okay, we can meet at the entrance of the event, I don't mind.

Shaw: ……

As soon as Shaw's footsteps stopped, his face darkened.

Shaw: Hey, how much longer do you want to make a face with me like this?

Who put on a bad face first? I wanted to settle an old score with him again because of his impulsive tone, but finally I just resisted and grinded my teeth.

MC: Hehe, it won't be long, it will last for another week or so.

Shaw: You! ...... You can do it.

He seemed to have thought of something and raised a finger towards me.

Shaw: Let's make a bet that you'll be smiling the whole time you're at the event, and I'll take credit for every time you smile.

MC: Let’s bet…wait no, this isn’t fair, why are you the only one catching my flaws, why don’t you show some of them instead?”

Shaw: What do you want to see me say?

MC: Then record the number of times you admitted defeat, every time you admit defeat, I'll record it, how about that?

Shaw raised his eyebrows, obviously inspired by my "fighting spirit"

Shaw: Okay, final settlement?

MC: Of course, the settlement will be finalized, so just don't refuse to accept the account when the time comes.

We stared at each other, and Shaw's face finally showed the expression he had been wearing for the past few days, except for his anger, and the corners of his mouth grinned.

Shaw: You.Are.Done.

—

⚡Next part (coming soon)

[queenofbaws]

oooh! May I have a (Control) Trench/Northmoor thing? Been a while and I loved what you did last time. Preferably something soft and light-hearted?

(I'm currently too clammed up and angsty and generally blah to write anything, so *someone* has to do it.) <3

catch me catching up on some not-quite-six sentence sat(or)sunday!

The interdepartmental bulletin had gone over like a lead balloon - at least in the executive suite. Its phrasing had been cheerful, almost irreverent, peppering in all the buzzwords du jour: synergy, community, appreciation, morale, describing the exercise as everything but what it actually was.

A bad idea.

Trench had seen the surveys go out - neat, painstakingly organized things they were - and for a good week after the copy machine had cooled off, each pneumatic THWOOP! of an incoming mail tube made him wince. There was no way in hell this didn't break bad, no. Way. In. Hell.

Yearbook superlatives were still yearbook superlatives by any other name; and maybe he wasn't some high-falutin' expert on the matter, but he was pretty damn sure this sort of juvenile popularity contest counted as archetypal, no matter how wild and/or wacky the categories were.

Whoever's idea this little team building exercise had been, well...he hoped they realized they were playing with fire. If not metaphorically, tempting the Oldest House with a tasty morsel of iconography, then, uh, literally. They might literally find themselves set aflame.

The thought occurred to him again when the day finally came and he found himself standing in front of the corkboard in the Executive wing, his eyes moving with slow, calculated saccades across the pages of dot-matrix printing posted up there. Perhaps, he thought - perhaps - they'd skirted the Oldest House's wrath through careful consideration (the sides of each sheet torn off perfectly at the perforations, the proper usage of an even number of Bureau-issued nondescript thumbtacks, the wise omission of any of those digital smiley faces the younger agents seemed so fond of those days), but he'd seen Broderick's name on the list. He'd seen the title he'd been awarded.

No one was out of the frying pan yet.

Like the cliche alone betrayed him, a familiar warmth filled the room. Without glancing away from the list, Trench swirled the (now steaming) coffee in his mug and took a sip. "Director," he said by way of greeting, not without the faintest upward tick to the corner of his mouth.

"Had one of these in high school, you know," Northmoor answered, all bluster and proud swagger as he joined Trench at the corkboard. "Most likely to succeed. You believe that? Like somehow, in someway, the whole graduating class was prescient. Who woulda thunk, huh? Oh, if only they knew..."

Ah. All right. There he'd been, expecting the water coolers to be bubbling over while the wallpaper glue melted off the damn drywall, and yet there was Broderick, grinning like the cock of the walk. Trench was still fully, fully of the opinion that this whole mess had been a bad idea - an awful one, really - but now he added an asterisk to that thought, a footnote down at the very bottom of his mental write-up of the scene:

The superlatives had been a bad idea.*

*But funny, too.

With his mug, he gestured towards the corkboard, offhandedly asking, "You've seen it already, then?"

"On my way in, yeah," Northmoor answered, folding his arms and squaring his shoulders in a self-assured stance as endearing as it was obnoxious. "Great way to start the day - really puts a spring in your step, doesn't it? Seeing how the rest of them think of us?"

Trench hummed a soft "Mhm" of agreement into his coffee, experience having taught him to savor it now, while he had the chance. Soon enough, he suspected, that wouldn't be the case.

"You hardly sound enthusiastic about it. Here, what'd they give you? Hmm...Zachariah...Zachari - ah, there you are!" His finger traced its way down the list from a safe distance, the paper darkening in a spot or two along the way. "Most likely to benefit from a vacation. Ha! Hey, you have to hand it to them, they're not wrong." Without waiting for a response, he continued, obviously just excited to share his own title. "Try not to look so grim about it, Deputy. I mean, it's not what I was voted, but c'mon...not everyone can be Hottest in the Bureau."

Echoing himself, Trench once more hummed in agreement. "True," he said flatly, hoping against hope there wasn't anything on his face suggesting how close he was to snickering. "You'll have to excuse my candor for saying so, but I don't think anyone here has a leg to stand on if they argue you're not the hottest one in the Bureau. That's just simple fact."

He waited. That probably made him as much a part of the problem as whoever it was who'd put the surveys out in the first place, but he did it. Trench waited until Northmoor turned to look at him, his grin sideways and shining and perfectly fetching; Trench waited for that very moment, and then, perfectly calm, fanned himself with the case file he'd been holding in his other hand.

The grin didn't drop all at once. But it dropped. Doubt flared in Broderick's eyes, then realization, then fury, then actual honest-to-god embers. The room positively wilted in the ensuing heat pouring off of him as he whirled around, shouting at some poor pencil pusher to "GET ME THE NAME OF WHATEVER CLOWN THOUGHT THIS COCKAMAMIE BULLSHIT UP," and Trench? Why, he loosened his tie. Kept fanning himself. He set his coffee mug down as its contents began to boil, and he forced himself to admit maybe there was a bit of truth behind those superlatives after all.

He probably wouldn't get a suntan from watching Broderick burst into flame upon realizing the whole Bureau had joined together to make a horrific pass at wordplay at his expense, but the ambient heat he was putting off was the closest he'd come to a tropical vacation in at least ten years, and if he was honest with himself...yeah, yeah, he was benefiting from it, all right.

[ladyelainehilfur]

I like how almost no one in Pentagon fits the description that comes to mind when you look at them face value 😂

You'd think Wooseok was this giant, cute maknae dude who tucks in on himself to look smaller even though it doesn't work and you'd be completely correct 🤧 he's giant 6'3 cute af dude who's super good at rapping and who has phenomenal stage presence.

Kino looks like an absolute fairy twink of a man, because he's constantly laughing (and crying in a surprisingly pretty way, how's that possible). He's dying his hair pastel pink and blue and he just flits around, singing his silly little bops and dropping the best soundcloud tracks.

But he's also the same person who pushed for Dr.Bebe's sultry concept and danced to Taemin's "Move" with so much sex-appeal intent like the absolute criminal he is!! It should be illegal to be that two sided!!

Yuto looks like this big tough Japanese guy with his deep fricking voice and dark eyes and he's just physically b i g. But he has the tiniest personality-- I cannot pass a gif set of him in close range with the other members where he's not hugging them, or holding their hand or something!! He will cuddle anything with 10 feet of him!! That's adorable.

I had a whole year to guess what Yanan was like since he was on hiatus when I got into the group, so based of pictures and videos, I just guessed he was this...generic friendly dude who got pulled into their hi jinks. Like, an emotional conductor of sorts. And is like that, but he's also goofy and apparently the most innocent member?? According to the members themselves?? And he's multitalented too, he's always jetsetting back to China to film this drama or that drama lol.

Yeo One looks like a puppy personified. Literally the friendliest person you'll ever meet. I like to describe him as the cute guy next door. But he is not!! I mean, his face says that and some aspects of his personality show that. But this dude is just as bad as Kino. Arguably even worse, because I had to click out a tab that moment I saw him on the fricking cover of Men's Health Korea magazine!! How dare he downplay how much of a gym rat he is?? Like, that man never hops onto vlive unless he feels pretty that day!!! The ultimate betrayal 😔

Shinwon was my bias from day one so I feel like I know him the best. He is the clown he was the day I set eyes on him in the Shine music video and he is more. He is extremely caring, creative af, equally adventurous and resourceful. He's a tall person and he knows it haha.

Hongseok has the face of a maknae and the body of....a Men's Health Korea cover model 😭 Really, he does nothing to hide his insane enthusiasm about being healthy and working out and having abs, but aside from Dr. Bebe, he hasn't had that many chances to show them off and I'd sit through another comeback like that so he could wear as many crop tops as possible 😂 okay, but he has a surprisingly squishy personality (and the cutest pout ever geez) and his continued work toward being a better actor is inspiring.

Hui...Hui. He looked every inch the stressed leader he is 💀Not that he looks physically tired but he works nonstop. During, what, Daisy era, he was hopping from studio to studio covering songs and promoting Pentagon. Like, he just looks like a guy who works hard, if that makes sense. He's also sweet but it's somehow harder to discern what concept he likes to embrace the most.

Aaand Jinho. Tiny king. Vocal legend. Looks like a teddy bear, is a teddy bear. End of story :D

(and fine, okay, I could predict he'd simultaneously be the baby and the parent of the group, but that just comes with the territory of being the oldest).

So, there's Pentagon, my initial thoughts and after almost 3 years of stanning, my opinion of them individually. Happy 5th anniversary, Pentagon!

[s4kasaki]

Hey if you don’t mind do you think you could do koga with a music store owner crush if this makes sense that would be so cool and I hope you are having a wonderful day<3

ooo now this is interesting! — heyyo~, I'm back from the longest break I've ever done in my life since I've now gotten the biggest inspiration Sparks yet!!

♡ — a tune on the doorstep.

‣ tws / cws: none! maybe a tiny bit of swears

‣ reader: gender neutral - they/them

‣ author's note: öng I have too many drafts to finish but I will!, PS: his feelings r so crazily unnoticed bc i wrote too much details. WTF!!

Never in all your life did you think you'd be the new owner of a music shop— I mean sure, you were constantly working your best every living second when you were just a simple worker among the rest of the other workers there, but it was still a big surprise for you. You were excited to know just what your favorite customer would think when he heard about it. He came quite often, and you never really knew why.

It had been a surprisingly slow day at the shop, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary, especially when it was just you working... Usually, people would be bombing out the door and the noise was insufferable with just one person working, so it was delightful to catch a break. You ended up getting to lounge back, feet propped up on the counter beside your chair, reading one of the different Guitar World magazines that had begun to pile up in the back room. Most of the workers kept them in there in case somebody came in to loosen up, but you were the only one who was interested in reading the articles. Your eyes seemed to glance over to the clock that sat on the wall.

Almost a quarter to two.

He'll be here any minute, have no doubt...!

Bingo!~ The tiny bell above the door jingled, motioning his typical entrance. You didn’t even have to meet him with a greeting, he came In almost every day you had a shift, how so? You still have no clue, but you both were quite familiar with one another at this point, you got a small glimpse of how his hair was laid back. Hmm, perhaps preforming was a struggle. You always did like their dedication.

You snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the radio play one of your favorite songs, Savage Love Affair by Undead. They had thrived so much since the past year. At first, no one believed that they would succeed, not even the members themselves. Regardless, look at them now. They have to go abroad soon, with seats already sold out, and they've dominated the music industry for the damn Music Awards of other Idols, you felt happy for them, of how far they had come. Their music was always motivational to listen to and always motivated you. You could even say that their music showed up in your life when you needed it the most. 

“Welcome, little wolf.” you chuckled. He pushed up the bangs that dropped over his face before responding, “Ha, you listen to my music? I swore I heard you singing 'Savage Love Affair' just now, eh? You're quite talented, for a little nobody.” he laughed.

And you grinned. Although you were aware that you had quite the talent yourself-- but, you were always very iffy about playing or singing in front of people, especially strangers. You let out a timid laugh and scratched your cheek.

“You heard that? Outside this loud shop? where people never turn off their motorcycles...?” you chuckled for a second, “Didn't think ya' could hear.” your voice gradually getting a little louder as you looked at the magazine in hand. 

You didn’t even need to look up to know what the man was gonna get, he always does and gets the same things every time he comes around the place. He would look around the store for a while, fakely check out the basses to see if any new ones arrived and other things before getting either a new pack of picks or bass strings, and they were always being the same brand each time, only the best for Oogami Koga. A chuckle pass your lips, as you went to the next page of the magazine. His rough voice suddenly broke through the silence. “Hohoh. Well, mind telling me where the bass strings are? ♪”

Hmm, you're in here almost every day, wanko. You surely don't need help finding anything at this point.

You thought to yourself.

instead, deciding to play along with his silly charade and pointing your pointer finger directed at his favorite brand of strings were normally located. “That way, sir.~“ he chuckled, a slight smirk spreading across his face, if you looked close enough maybe you'd even see the blush on this cheeks as he wandered off in the direction you guided him to. There had to be some motive to the way he always visited, right? maybe he was checking you out on the down low, you thought, he did tell you he was the famous Koga Oogami in your face?-- (not like it isn't easy to tell by his voice). No, don't get ahead of yourself!

His items fell on the counter with a loud "bang!", which got you to break out your train of thought, causing you to truly look at the man. Looks like this time he needed both new picks and new strings. Looks like today was going smooth after all~ he's come so often that you've memorized his usual amount without even having to check it in. “That’ll be 19¥.” His eyebrow tilted upwards, as if you'd said some to offend him somehow-- just then you noticed he has eyebrow piercings, eventually grabbing the wallet out his pants pocket seeking and folding it open to gather just what he felt was the right amount of cash. And his eyebrow raises again with sudden suspicion. “Damn, you did that fast! Have you gotten my usual needs memorized so well you automatically know the price?~♪”

That got you to put down the magazine, placing it to face down under the counter, standing up to meet his stare. “You could say that Riot Wolf, your usual isn't hard to remember, every time I'm on my shift since my workers don't do anything— here you are, roaming my store perhaps in looks for love and attention.~ just teasing you.” you smiled, placing his item in a bag. “Usually to get a pack of strings or a new pick. They’re always the exact kind too, are you sure you aren't craving anything else in this little shop of mine? Just an assumption!~” you giggled at his new found expression. You had caught the 'most awesome oogami koga-sama' off guard! It was quite a cute sight coming from the tough man. He was flushed, and you could stare at that face for quite some time if only you could.

He was completed knocked, maybe you never learned the concept of personal space because the mere inches between the faces of your two, was driving him even more mad— which caused you to giggle one more and place a hand on his shoulder to bring him back to reality. If he did come to speak to you every day giving him your phone number was the best way to go. “Well, here's my phone number— just in case you need more 'picks & strings' I'm always available!” You smiled, handing him over the tiny Lil piece of paper that had your phone number and name along with a Lil side note saying: "your fav music store owner :wink&heart: !" Which he surprisingly accepted, still a flushed mess inside. Staring at you like he's never seen something like you before, perhaps due to his mind still being in a trance, he stared at the side note that was written on the small sheet of paper and audibly, gasped. Looking at you, then the paper once again, you giggled. He swore that giggle did things to him, things he'd never get to tell you in person. Proud of your new found confidence to give the man your phone number finally after numerous visits, why didn't you do that sooner? You thought.. “Thats all for the today, sir~”

And with that all over with, the 17 year old stepped out your music shop, holding onto that paper as if it meant very dear to him— as if it be pain if he lost it by even the wind. The sound of his motorcycle faded away from where your ears could hear and that was the end of it, this would have you thinking for quite a time won't it.. then you noticed he forgot one thing. His strings. Well damn it—

“It's fine, he'll be back, he'll have no choice but to get them anyway.”

“he always comes back” you laughed.

Sigh, If only you could tell. he was simply intrested in you as to why so.

[tokumusume]

screaming, crying, throwing up: Love Between Fairy and Devil episodes 6 & 7

Dongfang Qingcang gets a new outfit in episode 6 but it’s not as cool and sexy as the lace turtleneck :(

Xiao Lan Hua’s bully, a bitchy fairy named Danyin (I’ve had bad experiences with people named Dan-something so it tracks), sees Changheng’s future in the back of a Yu-Gi-Oh card a magic hole in a tree and she’s not in it. In fact, he’s getting married to Xiao Lan Hua. She bullies XLH even more. What a cunt.

Xiao Lan Hua takes the fairy SAT (or ENEM for my Brazilian followers) and Qingcang gives her a little help using an invisibility spell.

This actress was in Song of Youth as the daughter-in-law that has an affair while her husband is away in the war and gets pregnant. Therefore she’s referred to as “Cheater” in my house.

The test consists in capturing an albino capybara that reminds me of my cat Yuki in terms of size vs ferocity. Of course a woman sent by Ronghao Masked Man casts a spell on whatever this thing is and it starts attacking our heroine and the other fairies. Of course Xiao Lan Hua saves everyone. Yes, even Danyin, she’s better than me as a person, I would have let that bitch get eaten.

Anyways, to the most important part of the episode imo:

Changheng wants to help Xiao Lan Hua but RONGHAO TOUCHES HIS ARM and holds him back (for a while, they eventually go save her).

MY FRIENDS, I SCREAMED.

Xu Haiqiao looks so good in this scene!!!

I usually hate spoilers but just tell me this: they’re not brothers, are they? I need to know if I should stop shipping them or not ;_;

At the beginning of episode 7 Xiao Lan Hua catches the albino capybara like a Pokémon (Poké Ball and all) and everyone wonders how a weak fairy like her managed to subdue a beast possessed by an evil spirit. They award her the first place in the test.

Ronghao is very interested in Xiao Lan Hua and he looks at Changheng like this:

Qingcang and Xiao Lan Hua talk about doing the right thing, good and evil, blah blah. Sorry, I wasn’t paying much attention to anything but Dylan Wang’s gorgeous eyes.

Ronghao is finally revealed as the man in the mask and he’s darker than I thought. He’s obsessed with the missing/presumed dead Goddess Chidi and puts her face on his servants to “””enjoy””” it (I bet he fucks them too). He then kills the servant because her acting as Chidi wasn’t convincing. Brutal.

Qingcang has another wardrobe change. This one looks like the lace turtleneck but it’s just a lurex turtleneck. #BringBackLaceTurtleneck

Bitchy Danyin thanks Xiao Lan Hua for saving her life but makes it clear that she still hates her. Big mood.

Ronghao asks XLH to revive his dead cactus and she succeeds. It was actually a test to see if she could purify evil qi (she can) so he concludes she’s more powerful than she seems. Ashes of Love's Jinmi was a powerful fairy that was hidden by her mother as a simple plant spirit so I think this is what’s going on here too.

Is Ronghao’s master Chidi? I can’t tell from this angle but it sure looks like her. I thought she was dead but I guess it’s more like a Yehua from Eternal Love situation, as in that her spirit/soul left her body so it’s just a shell. Ronghao is willing to do bad things to save his beloved master and I will love him for it.

Oof, a lot happened in these two episodes. I don’t know for how long can I keep writing these posts but they won’t be detailed recaps as the plot thickens.

[nin-deer]

Day 4 - Forbidden

Fandom:

Natsume's Book of Friends (NatsuYuu/Natsume Yuujinchou)

A/N:

finally a chance to write for my fav anime!!! I kinda got carried away tho so it's a bit on the long side today...

i couldn't help it i love writing dialogue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-----

Natsume knew that something bad was going to happen. Both Taki and Tanuma felt it, but all of them ignored the signs. They needed to catch that youkai. The youkai had somehow stolen Hinoe’s hairpiece, and she threw a fit every night until Natsume had enough. He got so little sleep normally; he didn’t need another factor keeping him awake through the night. 

The three of them had caught the youkai before everything went wrong. It was actually Taki who found them first, surprisingly. It had briefly crossed through one of the many circles she had laid on the floor, and she immediately alerted Natsume. The youkai freaked out when it was seen and stumbled, allowing Natsume to give it a good punch. After getting Hinoe’s hairpiece from the youkai, it turned out that they had stolen from a number of youkai and people already. Would they have to return every single thing?

Just as he thought that, bushes nearby rustled, revealing a very familiar figure. It was Natori Shuuichi. 

Uh oh.

“So,” Natori said, snapping Natsume out of his reminiscing. “What are you kids doing all the way out here?”

“Hello, Natori-san.”

“Yes, hello Natsume. So?”

Tanuma stepped in front of the circle drawn on the floor, subtly trying to mess it up. Natsume had told him about how these circles were forbidden in the world of exorcists. Although Natori was a friend, who knows what he will do to Taki if he found out.

“Uh,” Taki interrupted. “Natsume, who is this?”

“Ah.” That’s right. Only Tanuma has met Natori. “Sorry, Taki. This is Natori Shuuichi, an exorcist I worked with in the past. Natori-san, this is Taki Tooru, a classmate of mine.”

“Did-” Taki gaped. “Did you just say Natori Shuuichi??? The actor???” 

She started to jump up and down, moving over the circle so her movements messed up the lines on the floor. Surprisingly, both of his friends’ efforts had gotten rid of the majority of the circle so that it was just a bunch of random scribbles in the dirt. 

Natori laughed, running a hand through his hair. “Yes, that is me. Glad to meet a fan, unlike someone over there.”

Natsume scowled, turning away from Natori. “Whatever. We were here because a youkai stole something important to a friend of mine. I was just trying to get it back so I can sleep peacefully.”

Both Taki and Tanuma snorted. Natsume sleeping peacefully? That was a pipe dream. Natori only raised an eyebrow. Even he didn’t believe Natsume got enough sleep, seeing as Natsume always had bags under his eyes whenever they met.

He grumbled. “Okay, so I can at least get some sleep. Better?”

Natori smiled, the lizard climbing up his skin. “Better. So did you guys succeed?”

Natsume held up the hair piece. “Yeah, but…”

The four of them glanced to the pile of stolen goods. “It seems this isn’t a one time thing. We were just about to figure out what to do with all this stuff.”

The actor walked towards the pile and crouched down, inspecting the items. “Well, it looks like there are a mix of human and youkai stuff in here.” He stood up, brushing his pants as if there was dirt on them, and gave them his award-winning smile. “I can deal with this. You kids go home, okay?”

They hesitantly nodded, glancing at each other. “Uh-” Natsume nervously glanced at the pile. “If you need some help, you can call me and I’ll send a youkai to help you. I can probably bribe Nyanko-sensei to come.”

“I appreciate the thought, Natsume.” He smiled softly at the boy. “But I think I’ll be okay. You just go home and get your beauty sleep, yeah?”

The boy just scoffed and rolled his eyes, a tiny smile gracing his lips. “Yeah, yeah. I got it. See you later, Natori-san.”

“See you, kids! Don’t get into any trouble like your friend over there!”

The boy’s friends laughed, knowing how much of a trouble magnet their friend was. Natsume just rolled his eyes at his friends’ antics. Well, at least they got Hinoe’s treasure and kept Taki’s circles a secret.

[1drarepairfics]

Below is a selection of completed 1D rare pair fics that have been posted to AO3 in the month of May. We hope you enjoy reading them and encourage you to leave kudos and comments for the authors!

About Dates by bluecolouredlou / @bluecolouredlou

Louis/Niall | General Audiences | 652 words

Louis and Niall take a walk in the park after one of their dates.

Shooting the Shite by candleinthew1nD

Harry & Niall | Teen & Up | 1.2K

Niall meets Harry in a pub after the BRIT awards.

Idle Curiosity by behindmeday / @behindmeday

Harry & Nick Grimshaw | Teen & Up | 1.2K

“I don’t think our management will be too happy with me,” Harry said with a smirk.

“What do you mean?” Nick asked as he handed Harry a cup of black coffee before pouring sugar into his own, “They don’t want you to speak to the nation while still drunk from the night before? I can’t imagine why not.”

Harry laughed, putting his head in his hand, “At least I got some promo in, right?”

Or, Harry asks Nick a question.

Not Niall by CordensAngels131 / @cordensangels131

Harry/Niall | Explicit | 1.4K

Harry’s been busy filming My Policeman and Niall’s feeling neglected.

On-Call by reminiscingintherain / @reminiscingintherain

Louis/Greg James | Mature | 1.5K

Greg's on a night shift, and Louis' at home. What else are the on-call rooms for?

if the subways flood, and the bridges break by gloriasparks

Niall/Zayn | General Audiences | 2.2K

The world might be coming to an end, but Zayn is there to catch Niall.

just the thought of you by disgruntledkittenface / @disgruntledkittenface

Harry/Liam | Mature | 2.7K

Harry's been pining after her neighbor for two years. It only takes a small kitchen fire for her to make a move.

Brighter than the stars by Celine (Loumybeloved)

Louis/Zayn | General Audiences | 3.1K

When prince Zayn of Odrea made his way to the kingdom of Ucra to marry the king’s daughter to keep the peace between the two kingdoms, he didn’t expect to fall in love with his personal servant

Naughty Niall by bradshawspeedy

Niall/Zayn | Mature | 3.1K

Niall and Zayn finally get it on, but what drugs has Niall given Zayn.

Oh, Pretty Baby by abrighteryellow / @a-brighter-yellow

Niall/Shawn Mendes | General Audiences | 4.0K

In that moment, Maeve, who had been yanking on the bill of the baseball cap her dad (dad?) is wearing, finally succeeds in pulling it off of his head, exposing a thick wave of wayward brown hair. She brandishes the hat proudly while he combs it back with his fingers, both of them grinning at her joke.

He has the bluest eyes Shawn has ever seen.

So he tries to concentrate on the kid.

Teaching toddler music classes at Gymboree barely feels like work to Shawn, until he meets a clever little girl with an Irish name and a charming dad.

The Initiation. by daddyharrie / @daddyharrie

Louis-centric | Explicit | 4.4K

Set years before The Promotion takes place, Louis is persuaded into going to a weekend getaway/business party hosted by his friend Henry. Upon arrival, he discovers there are far more men than he originally expected and they all want a piece of him.

a little tenderness by disgruntledkittenface / @disgruntledkittenface

Harry/Niall | Not Rated | 10.5K

“Listen, my alpha and I broke up and it turns out that all of our friends were really his friends and I need someone to help me through–”

“No,” Harry practically shouts, the word bursting out of him unbidden. He cringes when he sees the shock on Niall’s face, his pale skin flushing lightly. “I’m sorry, but my answer has to be no. I don’t help omegas through heats. I’m really sorry, Liam knows that, so I don’t know why he would give you the idea–”

“It’s not heat, Harry,” Niall interrupts. “It’s depri.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged. He’s wearing a cozy-looking sweatshirt, but even over FaceTime, he kind of seems cold, hunched over with his arms wrapped around his body. Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

Oh.

showstopper by sternenwelt

Harry/Zayn | Mature | 18.6K

in which harry is the almost perfect housewife and tries to win bake off

Warden Niall by XoXoSoulShine / @xoxosoulshine

Harry/Niall | Explicit | 19.7K

Niall’s a warden in a prison filled with corruption. There’s a dangerous drug pipeline that’s left more than one man dead. In an attempt to stop it, Niall agrees to allow an undercover agent infiltrate his facility. Enter Harry’s Styles, the FBI’s best undercover agent. It’s a dangerous mission for both of them and when Harry gets too close to the truth, will Niall be able to save him?

the witch next door by sternenwelt

Harry/Zayn | Teen & Up | 21.6K

in which safaa wants to be a witch when she grows up

or harry's the local witch and zain's got a serious crush

First Impressions by candleinthew1nD

Harry/David Dawson | Mature | 35.0K

Harry meets and gets to know the man who has been cast as his lover in the upcoming film My Policeman.

it's so quiet in the world tonight by pallomharry / @pallomharry

Harry/Niall | Not Rated | 55.5K

Harry nods, considering his words before slowly opening his mouth, looking thoughtful. “For what it’s worth, Niall, I think you’re doing a great job.”

Niall smiles sadly, not really knowing what to really say to that. His eyes fall on Harry’s arm resting on the table and soon enough, he’s reaching out to give his wrist a quick squeeze, hoping he understands. Because really, it means so much to him, that a verbal thank you doesn't feel like it’s enough.

When Harry makes the effort to grab his hand and squeeze it back, it’s safe to say he does.

Niall and his daughter move and they meet Harry, who complicates things for Niall just a little.

dancin’ is a dangerous game by pallomharry / @pallomharry

Harry/Niall | Not Rated | 69.5K

Harry can’t really pinpoint when it exactly happened. But looking back, it really could have been anytime. It could’ve been when they were under the stars, telling stupid jokes about space that only they would laugh at. When they were riding bikes together in the rain. Maybe it was when Harry kissed him for the first time, because when he thinks about it, even then it was as easy as breathing. Falling in love with Niall was the most natural thing that’s ever happened to him.

When Harry’s stepmother dies unexpectedly, he has to drop everything and fly out to Ireland. When he gets there, he’s met with the news that she left everything to a stranger named Niall Horan. He intends to take the house back from Niall, but things get a little tricky along the way.

[coolrobotsupremacist]

A lot of adaptations of Les Mis make Valjean a little evil, a little overly violent, a teeny tiny bit sexually predatory and that's fine if that's what you're going for but it's also, let's face it, the cowards choice.

If I was in charge I would make EVERYONE evil. Or more accurately I'd reverse everyone's morality like that one episode of Star Trek TOS where Spock has a goatee.

Here's how I see it happening(not NSFW but there are references to sex, sexually predatory behaviour, child abuse, murder, child murder and ahistorical clothing):

Myriel during his time in Spain became a Master Thief, amassing a great fortune, he became a priest to avert suspicion from him. Unfortunately he made a lot of enemies who had proof of his crimes and threatened him into retirement. But hey being a bishop is pretty good too: nice salary, big house, good food. It could be worse.

One day Jean Valjean (violent criminal) who got imprisoned for twenty years after beating his nephews to death to use as firewood comes to town. He wears all black. He breaks into Myriels house and almost managed to make off with his secret stash but Myriel catches him and decides that, since he can't go on with his life of crime, Valjean should be his evil apprentice. There's an episode that's just evil My Fair Lady. Valjean was already cunning but Myriel teaches him to blend in with high society.

Meanwhile in Paris Devoted Father Tholomyès is struggling to raise his Daughter in the light of God. This is difficult because her Mother, Fantine who is a slinky red dress wearing brunette, absolutely refuses to marry him or stop sleeping with her string of other lovers. She sells his Fathers watch for gin and mocks him for loving her. She is bisexual but only so she can have on-screen threesomes. One day he wakes up and she's gone, gone with his precious Cosette. Oh, the tragedy.

Thenardier, honest inkeeper and war hero, doesn't listen to his wife when she begs him not to take that bewitching red-lipped woman's child but he'll soon wish he had.

Fantine is having the time of her life. Free of her child she wanders to M-sur-M where she gets a job by seducing her way through the(male unless it's a threesome) population of the town. She soon becomes the most powerful woman in town. Only two men don't bend to her will, the mysterious Mayor and the police inspector Javert.

Javert knows corruption runs deep in this town, he knows but he is powerless. The most he can do is give money to the exploited child workers of the Mayor's factory so they can afford medicine for the limbs that the Mayor breaks when they aren't working fast enough. The Mayor is also a bisexual but we only ever see this telegraphed with sexually predatory behaviour towards Javert.

One day Fantine almost murders a man in the street because he asked if she would donate some money to the Orphan Fund. Javert arrests her but the Mayor(who has only been referenced by other characters so far) appears to see why a legitimate arrest is being made. Gasp! It's Jean Valjean but wearing an even sexier all black outfit. There is immediately blazing sexual tension between Fantine and Valjean. They begin a violent love affair. Eventually things turn ugly: Fantine attempts to turn Valjean in for money, Valjean tries to murder Fantine and Javert tries desperately to arrest them both. It's a fun time for everyone but Javert. Eventually everything sort of turns out like in Canon with Fantine dead and Valjean in prison. Despite constantly beating her whole time she was alive Valjean claims that Fantine was the love of his life and runs off to find her daughter(he knows about Cosette because Fantine would have him read the Thenardiers letters to her so they could laugh at her stupid daughter for getting sick)

The Cosette pickup goes the same but Cosette is eating the Thenardiers out of house and home. Cosette has dead eyes and decapitates flies. Fantine hasn't sent them a single sou for Cosettes care but despite all this they still try to stop the incredibly suspicious Valjean from leaving with Cosette. For a while they succeed but then Valjean beats Thenardier with a rifle and sets their inn on fire.

Marius grew up with his Father. Georges Pontmercy won all his military awards by stealing the accomplishments of a man named Thenardier: Marius is told if he ever meets this man he is to murder him immediately in order to dispose of the final person who could contradict Pontmercy's lies. Marius says things like "With pleasure...Father!!!" Or after his Father died " We were once Barons and I swear on my Fathers grave we will be again!!". He goes to Paris to study/plan the murders of his extended family.

Les Amis de L'ABC are just fully chaotic evil, utter gremlins(Marius argues for the importance of a strong leader and order but Combeferre sneers "Order is an illusion. Chaos is a ladder") they have regular brutal fighting matches to ensure they're all worthy of being in the group. What are there political goals? We don't know but probably something scary. Loosely aligned with each other only due to their thirst for power.(weirdly I guess this makes Grantaire kind of the token "good" teammate in the same way he's kind of the token "evil" one in canon.)

Mabeuf used orphan bones as an experimental fertiliser. He's determined to catch Gavroche: they have a sort of Tom and Jerry thing going on. Mabeuf is financially stable in this but he often let's his household go hungry as he becomes more and more obsessive and greedy in his book collecting.

Marius sees Cosette in the park and falls in love with her instantly because evil has no awkward phase and Cosette became a femme fatale at 13. He vows to make her his Dark Lady Baroness. Meanwhile Cosette thinks she can use him as she uses her Father. Valjean lusts after her and Cosette ENCOURAGES it because a literal child can TOTALLY be responsible for the feelings and actions of an adult man.

Eponine is caught between the honest attentions of Montparnasse, the man her Father approves of, and the dark attraction she feels for the flared nostrils and dark secrets of Marius Pontmercy.

A complex game of murder-sex-betrayal ensues but everyone lives and ends up kind of happy apart from Thenardier who dies to send his children away to a better life in Canada and Javert who gets shoved of a bridge by Valjean. Cosette married Marius. Valjean still lives with them and they run an evil criminal Empire. Les Amis all swindled their way into positions of power.

As Cosette and Marius are out walking one day they come across a worn old Gravestone they laugh at this pauper's grave then kick it over, forever concealing the inscription: Tholomyès, devoted Father.

[murdereraisuha]

Vargas Camp part 1

An attempt at a moderately-detailed summary of the story so far.  Mostly focuses on events rather than conversations cause I don’t have the time or Japanese skills for that.

The sports clubs are all going to have to attend a training camp in the mountains for 3 days where they will have to complete various tasks. Crowley promises to buy club equipment for any club that completes all the tasks, but Vargas says that any club that fails to complete all the tasks will be disbanded.

The morning of the 1st day, the students gather in the mirror chamber. The event guys show up in their new outfits. They discuss the outfits until Vargas activates the mirror and takes them to the dwarf mine, the same place we went in the prologue.

Soon after they arrive, Grim & MC approach the group. Crowley asked them to use the ghost camera to take pictures of the training camp. The ghosts are also here to assist Vargas. The first task for Vargas Camp is to set up their tents. However, for this task and the rest of the trip, the students will not be allowed to use phones or magic. Their phones & pens are confiscated by Crowley, who then returns to the school.

The group moves to the campsite and Vargas gives them a time limit of 60 minutes for everyone to set up tents. The equestrian club sets up theirs together by the river, the track and field club sets up theirs under trees. (this is where Otome Ayui’s translation part 1 ends, the rest is all me. Please take it with a grain of salt)

After 30 minutes, Jack and Deuce decide to work together. Epel and Ruggie also set up tents together and Ruggie praises Epel for his skillfulness. Riddle asks Sebek to help him but he pulls his side of the tent too strongly. 15 minutes left. Floyd complains about having a yellow tent and wants a red one instead even though, as Jamil comments, he’s already set up his tent. Floyd replies by saying Jamil’s choice of beige is too normal and tries to get Ace to agree. Ace doesn’t want to get involved. (Poor Jamil...)

Time’s up. Though there were difficulties, everyone managed to get their tents up in time. Vargas awards them with a Vargas Badge, which he & the ghosts will also award after other tasks are cleared. There will be 7 badges total that will be given out per club (if they clear all tasks).

Vargas proceeds to give them their other 3 tasks for the day.

collecting firewood and starting a fire

catching fish from the lake for use as food

going into the mines and obtaining a magic crystal (crystal? stone? idk lol). They have to get one that′s at least 1 centimeter and 3 grams heavy.

Each club talks about what they’ll do first/how they’ll delegate tasks. (personal note: I love the contrast between how amped up and strategic magift club gets, and then how right after that basketball club has the goofy music playing as Floyd & Ace talk about how they’re hungry and the group quickly decides to go fishing)

Grim & MC first go check out the magift club (minus Leona) getting firewood. They go back to camp and Ruggie shows everyone how to start a fire without matches or a lighter. Suddenly, a tree fairy (a name I’m giving it based on its appearance) appears and the students have to fight it off.

After the fight, Leona explains that during the time when the mine was active, there was a big forest fire. Since then, the fairies of the forest hate fire and that’s why they tried and will continue to try to stamp out any fires the students make. The students have to make sure to guard the fire.

Next, Grim & MC go to the lake and find Deuce & Jack. They’re not having much luck fishing. They spot a giant fish and consider catching it, but it turns out to be Floyd who has switched to eel form since fishing with a rod & having to wait is boring. After Floyd goes back into the lake, a water fairy shows up.

Once the fairy is defeated and there’s no more obstacles, the track & field club succeeds at catching a decent amount of fish. After checking in with a ghost, they go back to camp to enjoy the food.

Finally, Grim & MC go to mines where the equestrian club is. They talk about how to find magic crystals and the conversation’s technical enough that I’m just gonna wait for a translation instead of trying to understand it myself. Sebek finds a magic crystal and is loud about it. A fire fairy appears shortly afterward. They defeat it, Sebek continues to be loud, get the badge from a ghost. blah blah malleus blah blah.

Finally, we get to see basketball club at the lake, where Floyd has effortlessly caught 50 fish while the mobs have only caught like 1. Floyd goes back to human form, saying that he’s bored since the fish in the lake are all dumb/slow. Now that they’ve cleared the task, it’s time for Jamil to cook. However, he needs more ingredients other than fish to make good food, so he gives Ace and Floyd the task of gathering some edible plants. Floyd takes the area near the lake, Ace takes the forest. Ace talks to himself for a bit, there’s a rustling in the bushes, then horror music plays as something lunges at him and the screen goes to black and he screams. Floyd hears it and after some thinking... completely disregards it.

Night falls. Every club has completed their tasks & gotten the 3 badges in time. Vargas tells them to get a good rest, but also they need to have people stay up and guard the fire from the fairies. Vargas then talks to Grim & MC about how he will sleep in the dwarves’ small cottage and how they will sleep in a tent by the side of the cottage.

Jamil questions Floyd about where Ace is. Floyd says he doesn’t know and theorizes that Ace is skipping out. Floyd says he kinda wants to go too, but Jamil orders him to guard the fire and Floyd says that Jamil’s sounding like Azul.

Deuce and Jack go to sleep. Sebek yells at Riddle for napping by the fire but then says he (Sebek) will watch the fire. Riddle wakes Silver up and they go to sleep in their tents. Epel and Ruggie have a wholesome conversation. Leona continues to sleep.

Ruggie and Epel are woken up by the sound of the ghosts clanging frying pans together. Even though the sun’s not even out yet, Vargas declares it morning and hands out their tasks for the day.

Collect lamp fire flowers (灯火の花) for making a magic potion that can speed up the healing of scratches

Catch giant catfish that have been devouring the fish in the lake

Get another magic crystal, but this time it has to be at least 2 centimeters and 7 grams

The students talk about the tasks, then Jamil and Floyd approach Grim & MC with the mystery of the missing Ace. The end.

[tarotchariot]

End of week message for all, from the angels

Pre-message note:

This might be out of nowhere, as I stopped doing frequent readings in the past. Many big life changes have been happening (and most will be aware what absolute chaos can ensue as a result). Now things are beginning to settle down, I am tentatively beginning to put out readings again. To those who stuck around and still viewed my blog in this last year (and a half-ish?), I thank you, and value you.

__________________________________________

Angel Message:

Six of Fire

"Victory! Good news is on its way. Public recognition or awards."

What a lovely card to receive! Usually when I see this, it really means it. I'm hoping for all of us that we receive some kind of good news on the weekend, absolutely.

Now, let's get to the details that I see within the card.

So, one of the things that was first apparent was that there are people who seem to be egging the person on, maybe even a little harshly. I see that as perhaps having one or more around you who seem to be pushing you to aim for something, do something in particular that might make you nervous.

They are not doing this to stress you out, or because they need you to do the particular thing. They are pushing you because they know that you are capable, and that you are very likely to do just fine at the task or succeed. This in some cases might not even be your boss, or friends/family - this might even be your angels seeming to push you in a direction that you might be nervous about taking.

There is a note of the self saboteur that we have inwardly in some capacity. There may be an issue with confidence, motivation or a fear of success that you have been working on (consciously or not).

When there is a likelihood of things going well, or making a big move or being appreciated for something, this part of us can slink out, trying to make us small again. It can try and talk us out of it, or "humble" us. It can interpret people as being harsh, when really they are pushing for your improvement. It can feel defeated, paranoid, or defensive.

When these feelings come up, know you are on to something. Why else would this difficult aspect show up, if it felt comfortable?

I feel we here are at a crux of something important for ourselves. I see this as crossing a finishing line of some kind. Perhaps you are finally crossing over into a better place with better people who support you. Perhaps you are making big improvements in your fitness journey. Perhaps you are being invited to go for a job. Perhaps it's even overcoming the issues of self esteem. There are all sorts of things that may have just happened or you are anticipating the potential of. This is a start of a better time for you, if you let it.

I see for small number, there may have been one or more fake people around you, who behaved selfishly. They appear to have wanted accolade and attention, at the cost of yours, or even may have tried to put you down.

If this has been the case for you, I want you to know that the angels and I here see you. It wasn't right, and you are deserving of attention and praise for your wonderful attributes. You never have to take it away from anyone else, because you are worthy. This person/group may try and follow you or catch up as you leave the situation or area, or become out of their reach professionally. Pay them no mind. They can't keep up with you, if this is their mind state currently.

You have a lot to give, and more skills than you think. I see for some there are skills that you aren't quite aware of the potency of. People would be willing to exchange payment for your skillset.

For some reason, I see koinobori? Those flags you see at a Japanese festival. I searched it and it apparently is connected to "childrens day". It also mentions on may 5th, there is a celebration of health and happiness for boys. Just thought I'd mention. Perhaps there is good news to do with your child or a child you know.

Another thing I see is rose petals in particular. This might mean (for those who are at an appropriate age I would like to stress) some good news, or a feeling of achieving what you have desired in your love/intimate life is due.

Lastly, the angels are encouraging you to focus on goals or projects (personally or in your career) because these will help take you further away from people or situations that are unhelpful to you. Not only will the focus help keep your mind more positive and productive, but it is only natural that as we further improve upon our lives, the more practical steps are available to be in better places or circumstances.

It's basically the angels asking you to make practical steps to improving your life if you don't like areas of it. Don't worry - You don't have to figure it all out today - step by step, the angels will guide and help you to make plans, decide the next move and find the right support or information.

Ask them every day:

What is my next step?

Please guide me to helpful information

Please give me a sign what would benefit me to do now

You may receive signs or guidance that seem unrelated. Spirit is creative in how it leads us to our answers. Have trust in the process, and allow things to naturally show themselves to you.

I wish much success upon you.

______________________________________________________

Thanks for your time and attention,

Have a great weekend!

[orsuliya]

The Rebel Princess Carry Top 8 List

Rebel Princess who?

If you are reading this list, you probably already know everything there is to know about The Rebel Princess. For all the newcomers: I advise you to strap in, watch, enjoy and prepare yourselves for any unreasonable expectations towards prospective male partners that you may acquire in the process.

Carrying of princesses or princess carries

For the purposes of this list we shall define a princess carry as an act in which person A carries person B in their arms, with one arm placed beneath either thighs or knees, the other supporting the back and the body of person B being held close to person A’s chest. Just like a groom carrying his bride, hence the alternative name of a bridal carry.

Furthermore, we shall only accept those attempts in which a defined element of lifting the carried person can be observed. A carry is a carry, a catch is a catch, no matter how delightful such a princess catch happens to be. This automatically disqualifies catches performed by Zitan and Xiao Qi in, respectively, episodes 2. and 4.

Similarly disqualified are all instances of potato sack hefts, such as the one performed by Potato in episode 4. with Xie Wanru playing the role of the sack, as well as any other hefts, lifts or carries where the carried person is not merely supported, but rather fully embraced by arms coming at them from opposite directions.

Attention! Despite the name stating otherwise, the carried person does not, in fact, have to be a princess, thus any titles carried by the carried person will have no influence on the final score.

Why Top 8

Why Top 8, you might ask. Well, there are exactly eight proper princess carries in the whole 68-episode-long drama. Which, by the way, gives us one princess carry every eight and a half episodes or 0.12 of a princess carry per single episode.

Scoring criteria

Since the purpose of this list is to objectively estimate the respective value of each princess carry and then use those results to rank all the attempts accordingly, from the feeblest to the most admirable, we are in need of a comprehensive scoring system. After some deliberations the judging panel (namely me) has managed to create exactly such a system, which was then approved by an independent third party (also me, but in a different hat). Each attempt shall receive a score from 0 to 10 points; this score being the sum of four components: Style, Technique, Hotness and Excellence. Those four main components encompass partial, specific criteria; see the explanation below.

Style: This particular component is mostly used to give proper value to such vital characteristics as artistry and flair. However, those are not by any means the only considerations the judging panel will take into account while awarding the total score. The intention behind any given attempt is to be established and subsequently used to judge how well the chosen style suits the purpose of the carry in question and whether it adequately fulfills any goals and needs that may have been expressed or set before the commencement of the attempt itself. The judging panel reserves the right to make demerits based on handling of clothing and accessories, as needed.

Technique: While proper technique of executing a princess carry is most important and ought to be assessed with exceptional care, it is far from the only criteria taken into account while rating general technique of any one attempt. After all, lifting a person in one thing and actually carrying them a very different one. Thus, whenever possible, we will observe and judge the endurance exhibited during the attempt in question; if such an observation proves to be impossible for any reason, a reasonable estimation may serve as an acceptable substitute. Moreover, since any princess carry has to be judged on its merits, the overall difficulty of any attempt must be first established, depending on the probable disparity between the strength of the carrier and the weight of the carried person as well as other factors, such as any floppiness or lack of a proper latch on the neck of the carrier.

Hotness: Recognizing that overall hotness is not a criteria that can be judged objectively, the judging panel hereby undertakes to use more precise methods of measurement, such as: reaction of any independent witnesses, if any are present, emotional reaction of the carrier, the carried person or both, whichever applies and the general mood set by any particular attempt. If any of the aforementioned methods cannot be used for any reason, the judging panel reserves the right to supplement this component with individual hotness assessments made by qualified experts (also me, but horny).

Excellence: Any exceptional elements or unique characteristics, which the judging panel feels might not have been rewarded properly while scoring the other components, will be subject to a rather subjective criteria of overall excellence.

The individual components can receive the following maximum point values:

Style: 3 points

Technique: 3 points

Hotness: 3 points

Excellence: 1 point

AND NOW TO THE LIST PROPER!

Number 8. Song Huaien gets recruited to escort a rather shaken Yuxiu to a doctor – episode 36.

Style: 0.5 points

What style can we even speak of when one of the parties involved makes no attempt at hiding their utter lack of interest in anything even remotely approaching artistry or feeling? Truly, never has there been a carrier less gracious; that the purpose of this exercise is to escort Yuxiu to a doctor is neither here nor there and serves as no excuse for the decided lack of any flair. After all, technically this is an engagement carry, seeing as Song Huaien announces his intention to make Yuxiu his main wife halfway through its duration. Moreover, he has the easiest possible dress to deal with and still manages to bunch it up, if only a little.

Technique: 2.5 points

A truly great lift it is not, although a more or less correct one, at least if we were speaking of pure utility. Still, Song Huaien manages to position Yuxiu in his arms in one move, no further jostling into place needed. Although this may be helped by the fact that she hooks her own hand around his neck even before he gets her off the ground. What is rather impressive is Song Huaien’s undeniable endurance: he not only manages to carry Yuxiu through two entire courtyards, going up and down the stairs, but also makes it look surprisingly easy. Why, at one point he even breaks into a trot. That Yuxiu is hands down the smallest female to be carried in this drama is another matter; he still does rather well and his posture leaves nothing to be desired throughout the entire carry.

Hotness: 0.4 points

There is much to be said about the utter lack of any emotion from Song Huaien other than pure unwillingness to even exist in this particular time and place. No show of strength or endurance will ever compensate for that. The witnesses do not seem to be overly impressed either; why, Awu cuts off Song Huaien’s declaration of intent and physically hurries him away, while no other person present at the scene pays any attention whatsoever to Huaien’s feat. Sheer competence might have been enough to raise the final score, if not for one thing: Yuxiu holds herself very, very stiff for most of the time, trying to look smaller and not, by any chance, lean into Song Huaien’s chest. It’s only at the very end that she makes a conscious effort to do so and that finally brings the element of positive emotion into play.

Excellence: 0.1 points

We admit that there is something rather special about the sheer awkwardness of this princess carry.  It certainly is not easy to forget this heap of stiff, sad mess.

Total score: 3.5 points

Number 7. Potato does his absolute best to show Xie Wanru his love – episode 45.

Style: 1.2 points

There is something to be said for Potato’s (faulty) confidence as well as for his single-minded intent to show Xie Wanru the depth of his care for her and Miracle Fetus. That he doesn’t properly succeed is a different matter altogether. Yet it cannot be denied that there is a certain flair to his approach, if not to the actual execution of the princess carry itself. One also has to question the validity of deciding to princess carry one’s wife while standing at the foot of the bed, although that might simply mean that Potato chose to be surprisingly realistic about his capabilities.

Technique: 1 point

The fact that Potato even manages to lift Xie Wanru, much less to a proper princess carry height, is a rather impressive feat, particularly taking into account that he is, well, Potato and Xie Wanru is no sylphid. Moreover, he really does rather well on the upswing, applying a reasonable amount of force, certainly enough to get her to the required, if not particularly awe-inspiring level. What is surprising is that - when the scene is rewatched closely - it does seem like he actually manages to lock his grip and stop Wanru on the downswing, if only for a moment. What does get him is her fearful reaction; and even then he does manage to let her down in a controlled manner. Sadly, Potato’s attempt should be properly classified as a princess lift rather than a princess carry, since there is no actual carrying going on; this makes it hard to estimate his endurance.

Hotness: 1.4 points

The judging panel would like to notify all sundry that its opinions are meant to be devoid of any personal prejudices and as close to true objectivity as it is even possible. Which means that it must be admitted that there is something rather… warm about the pre- and post-carry playfulness exhibited by both parties, regardless of the momentary fear and panic shown during the latter half of the carry itself. Moreover, the general mood of the scene remains in place in spite of Potato’s incompetence and objective failure. Truly, it is a great pity we cannot see how any of Wanru’s maids might have reacted to Potato’s shenanigans. “It’s a rather lovely moment of marital playfulness,” says our expert, “one perhaps made even more spectacular by Potato’s failure to fulfill his original goal. And really, it does prove once and for all that potatoes should be served warm, not cold!”

Excellence: 0.8 points

It may not be quite fair to award points based on the sheer unexpectedness of ever seeing this particular carry, but there you have it. Objectively speaking, Potato’s sheer excitement and playfulness alone might have managed to win the judging panel over, but the fact that a root vegetable somehow managed to pull off a princess… lift is even more impressive.

Total score: 4.4 points

Number 6. Gatekeeper steps in for Zitan and carries Su Jin’er out of the dungeon – episode 57.

Style: 1.1 points

It is debatable whether there is much flair or artistry to this particular princess carry, despite it being executed in rather dramatic circumstances and in no less dramatic surroundings. However, that is not the purpose of this attempt; what Gatekeeper is actually meant to do is to conduct a rescue, which he certainly does in a rather professional, matter-of-fact manner. There is, however, one element to his behaviour, which may seem rather out of place; notice that he stops before Zitan in such a way that Su Jin’er’s legs actually bump into Prime Minister Wen. As to whether he does it on purpose, well, that certainly seems to be the case.

Technique: 2.9 points

That Gatekeeper is a surprisingly competent man, especially for an Imperial Mook. Not only does he manage to lift an unconscious Su Jin’er from a slumped, almost horizontal position, but he also attempts it while in full mail. What’s more, he does pretty well with arranging her in his arms despite her overall floppiness and then moves around tight spaces with no visible effort. As if that was not enough, he then carries her up a great number of very steep stairs and then, presumably, all the way to the palace proper. Really, the only thing one might find any problems with is Su Jin’er’s relatively low position in Gatekeeper’s arms, especially where her legs are concerned; and even that might be the result of trying to provide more support for her head.

Hotness: 0.6 points

While an unconscious Su Jin’er is unable to express any kind of reaction and even if it was not so, she would most probably act disappointed in the identity of her actual carrier, there is something very reassuring about the matter-of-fact manner in which this particular princess carry is executed. “Competence is something rather attractive, no matter its source,” says our expert, “and there is a certain romantic air about the idea of being literally carried out of danger.”

Excellence: 0.5 points

There is something to be said for a competent substitute, although this rather novel approach to princess carries might be not to everybody’s taste. And yet it spared us from having to watch Zitan making his own attempt, for which the judges are, for one, undeniably grateful.

Total score: 5.1 points

Number 5. Xiao Qi rescues Awu from the evils of excessive alcohol consumption – episode 13.

Style: 2 points

Never has there been a carry more utilitarian in purpose; Xiao Qi makes a decision to get his wife to bed and immediately executes it, no hesitation or half-measures needed nor wanted! And yet even then he cannot deny himself that one tiny show of flair on the upswing. Why, I do believe that at one point Awu’s knees are positioned higher than her head, if only for a moment!

Technique: 3 points

There is much to be admired about Xiao Qi’s technique; he manages to lift Awu up in one fluent move, using the considerable power of that upswing to position her in one go so well that it requires no further corrections. Which raises a question of where and when he might have learned to do that, seeing as it’s the very first attempt we see on-screen (somebody must have brought Awu back from the bridge, don’t you think?). Xiao Qi carries Awu all the way to bed, which may not be a great distance, but still a considerable one. Especially as she is out of it and thus unable to help support her own weight by holding onto his neck or shoulders, although she still tucks her arm in, stopping herself from achieving total floppiness.

Hotness: 1 point

Since Awu is out of it and Xiao Qi’s face is full of determination to get his wife to bed… but for altogether too innocent reasons, there is little that can be said for overall hotness of this scene. The only witness for whose reaction we might have hoped, namely Yuxiu, is also unconscious, which forces us to ask the experts for their opinion. “Somewhat hotter than lukewarm by the sheer force of Xiao Qi’s competence in executing that carry,” said I, nodding with great authority.

Excellence: 0.7 points

The judging panel remains in awe of the exceptional fluidity with which Xiao Qi manoeuvred Awu’s body into his arms.

Total score: 6.7 points

Number 4. Zilu starts celebrating Mi’er’s birthday in a very appropriate manner – episode 22.

Style: 2.4 points

From what little we can observe, Zilu, who is a rather artistic man on any given day, is no less artful when it comes to celebrating his beloved’s birthday. A proper princess carry is just the way to go; still, there remains a question of whether a planned and possibly rehearsed carry is just as good or maybe even better than an improvised one. Zilu’s is certainly planned, judging from the way he arranges himself in the doorway and then carries Mi’er through the entire courtyard, door-to-door. What is admirable is that he miraculously manages to deal with her very difficult dress; perhaps it could have been arranged better, for it does get somewhat bunched up… but it’s a good attempt nonetheless.

Technique: 2.1 points

Sadly, we have been robbed of seeing the actual lift, all thanks to Pang Gui the Inept Ninja. Still, there is much that can be assumed based on the prelude, which we do see, and the carry itself. Zilu’s stretched out hand is undoubtedly very steady, which speaks to his confidence in the subsequent maneuver. The carry itself is rather less steady – Mi’er seems to rest rather low and even sways at one point, although that can be excused since Zilu is climbing the stairs at that very moment. All the same, Mi’er does clutch onto him rather tightly with a fully functional grip.  And yes, Zilu does manage to climb a few stairs, which, together with the fact that he carries Mi’er through the entire courtyard, is a surprising feat for a Ma prince. Those, as you know, are not particularly known for their fitness.

Hotness: 2.2 points

It is rather hard to say what Zilu’s two servants might think about his princess carry, even if they do go to their knees. What is quite remarkable, on the other hand, is that Pang Gui stills for a good moment or two, seemingly for no other reason than to observe this great feat. Unfortunately, we do not see Mi’er’s face, although it is obvious from Zilu’s pre- and post-carry reaction that he at least must take great enjoyment from the very idea of surprising his lady in this manner. “There is a tangible promise of great enthusiasm and surprising endurance right in that princess carry,” says our expert, “which raises the temperature quite considerably.”

Excellence: 0.3 points

Not a memorable princess carry by any means; there is a reason why it was missing from the original list of contenders despite the rather unexpected carrier. Still, it is a birthday carry, which certainly makes it one of a kind.

Total score: 7 points

Number 3. Xiao Qi rescues Awu from the evils of lonely garden strolls  – episode 18.

Style: 2.7 points

Excellent handling of a rather difficult multi-layered dress on Xiao Qi’s part! Somehow he manages to lift Awu in such a way as to fan out all the layers for maximum aesthetic effect, while at the same time not leaving them to hang so low as to hinder his steps. The overall style is rather sentimental, which suits their surroundings, if not the occasion itself.

Technique: 2.1 points

The lift itself is not quite forceful enough to allow Xiao Qi to arrange his wife correctly on the first try; he does have to jostle her into position. Although this is pretty understandable, seeing as they go straight from an embrace to a full carry with no space to catch momentum in between. Awu is quite a helpful princess on this occasion, holding onto Xiao Qi’s shoulder with a solid, if not overly firm grip and bringing her head close to his chest, which redistributes her bodyweight in a rather helpful manner. The distance to their bed is presumably not that great, taking into account the general layout of the house, but it would still take more than a few steps to get there.

Hotness: 2.6 points

No witnesses to be had, but Awu seems properly impressed during the lift itself. In fact, there might have even been a tiny gasp! Once properly in the air, she shows proper appreciation as well as undeniable trust in the strength of her husband’s arms. Xiao Qi, on the other hand, may look rather restrained to an untrained eye; make no mistake, though, there is undeniable pride there and a not very subtle promise of things to come in form of a smile. “Trust,” says our expert, “is a very warm feeling in proper circumstances” and we concur heartily with this opinion.

Excellence: 0.5 points

There is little else to be said about this particular carry, although there is something truly remarkable about Awu’s helpfulness and utter trust; the judges hold an opinion that a proper carry is just like a tango – meant for two.

Total score: 7.9 points

Number 2. Xiao Qi bridal carries his princess of a bride to their chamber – episode 33.

Style: 3 points

There is masterful handling of clothes and then there are miracles. What Xiao Qi is doing on this occasion can be nothing but the latter; somehow he manages to execute a princess carry while managing his own floor-length ceremonial robes, Awu’s difficult dress with exceedingly long sleeves and a train as well as both of their trailing cloaks. All the while displaying this unwieldy finery to its full magnificence and somehow not landing on his face. Although he noticeably deploys no other dramatic gestures nor tricks except for some very touching and impressively prideful sweet-talk, so it seems like this miracle does require a lot of concentration. But do we really need additional bells and whistles in this case? The judges seem to hold a rather firm opinion on that matter: a bridal carry it is supposed to be and a bridal carry it is, for it really does not get any more bridal, at least not without some reality-shattering shenanigans.

Technique: 2.2 points

Unfortunately, we are again devoid of the opportunity to see the actual lift, which seems like a true pity, taking into account the probable level of difficulty caused by all this wedding finery. Once again Awu is being held rather high, although, to be fair, rather unsteadily – for Xiao Qi, that is, not unsteadily in a particularly dangerous or even visible manner. There is also the matter of her grip; this time Awu locks her hands around Xiao Qi’s neck, which might indicate the need for further support. It is hard to estimate the distance which they might have crossed as we do not know the starting point, but it must have been a rather considerable one and those robes cannot be light.

Hotness: 2.7 points

Having female attendants literally giggle once hit with the aura of overwhelming hotness should be proof enough that this princess carry is truly something special. If it is not, then there is always the look of undisguised manly pride on Xiao Qi’s face, only further affirmed by his words. “Few things can fan the flames quicker than a prime display of manly confidence,” confirms our expert, blushing violently, “as long, of course, as it does not cross over into toxic machoism. In this case we can feel absolutely safe, there is no doubt as to that.” The judging panel, however, decided to award a demerit for a visible lack of surety or excitement on Awu’s face; although caused by external matters, it does seem to retract from the overall mood.

Excellence: 1 point

I am sure that nobody can deny that this particular bridal carry is the most bridal of them all. There is literally no further height to strive for, as far as bridal carries are concerned.

Total score: 8.9 points

AND NOW FOR OUR NUMBER ONE PRINCESS CARRY...

Number 1. Xiao Qi cannot wait to give Awu all the children – episode 29.

Style: 3 points

There is showing off your wife’s beautiful clothes and there is just plain showing off your skills at the former. Xiao Qi shows himself to be the master of both, somehow allowing Awu’s train to hang very close to its full length and yet managing it in such a way that it doesn’t hinder his steps in the least. He also does it while seemingly paying no attention to his own steps, which takes it to a wholly different level, and while at that, he adds a lot of eye-contact and even a heartbreakingly gentle nuzzle. No wonder that towards the end we can observe a quietly triumphant look under all that manly confidence… and no wonder that this particular carry gets its very own rather dramatic music accompaniment.

Technique: 2.4 points

It is rather unfortunate that we were not able to observe the execution of the lift, although there is no doubt that it is was correct at the very least. What we do see, however, is that Awu is being held very high, which indicates an application of considerable force on the upswing, something that Xiao Qi has already proven himself to be more than capable of. At the same time, the difficulty of this particular carry is rather low due to a rather trifling distance as well as Awu helping quite a lot with how she holds her body and with that gentle, yet very solid grip. However, the judging panel is forced to admit that the steadiness of Xiao Qi’s hold is truly a sight to behold; it takes a true master in order to maintain such a minute face-to-face distance without touching and yet avoid any unpleasant bumps.

Hotness: 3 points

Never has there been a carry more deserving of an NC-17 rating. Even without the prelude there is no doubt whatsoever as to the purpose of this particular exercise; the look which Xiao Qi and Awu share speaks just as loudly as five full-blown kisses would have in any other circumstances. And a smouldering look is not the only thing they share: why, at one point they seem to share the same breath, which turns the chemistry up to unimaginable levels. At the same time, this scorching hotness is masterfully tempered by a sense of pure tenderness and intimacy, which causes the judging panel to bitterly regret their promise not to exceed the maximum score for any single component.

Excellence: 1 point

This princess carry really has everything that an ideal princess carry should have, which is undeniably a kind of excellence in itself. However, that is not what convinced the judges to award the highest number of points possible in this category, but rather the fact that more than one expert has pointed out this particular scene as the reason of their own imminent pregnancy, sometimes with twins or even triplets.

Total score: 9.4 points

[all the amazing gifs used in this list were provided by the ever-generous @storge​]