#I do like your username though and you seem to be acting out kindness so it's the only reason I haven't blocked you ...♥ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon · 3 months ago

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@boozefaggotz Hey, Honey! ♥

#Hazbin Hotel#Helluva Boss#hazbin hypocritical

So as you could tell from the tags from the post you just reblogged, much of what I'm "on about" here has to do with the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss/vivziepop fandom and the context you need to understand for this post, is there's this clickbait youtuber from Northern Ireland of an indeterminate age called "ayylmao.tv" and our first Red Flag is that he used to be a Fallout Gamer Bro channel but he's never even revealed his face, but now he makes all of his click bait "content" on YouTube from "reporting" on every "Vivziepop Drama" that happens and he became a youtube partner and got monetized from doing that, but another creepy red flag about him, is that he's themed his entire channel look after being a simp for Vivziepop's female characters and some of those characters are underage, while he clearly should be an adult?

(Again. we don't what he looks or what his age is, but the first female viviziepop character he used for his icon when he cropped up in this adult fandom space is Octavia, who is Stolas's daughter, who is canonically 17 at this point in the Helluva Boss series, though he's since them switched to theming his channel to simping over the character Velvette, who is in her 20s, but he's clearly an adult male who simps over female characters enough to associate them with his entire persona because their his "waifus" or whatever which by default is enough to make the vibes skeevy and gross).

But his final and biggest Red Flag is that I'm at least 99.999% certain the dude is just lowkey a covert neo nazi and nobody brings that up? He's made videos where he's implied that his two other favorite YouTubers are PewDiePie and Logan Paul and that he thinks vivziepop should be more like them?

It's awful, because I think I've read somewhere that he co-mods like half subreddits that have anything to do with Vivzie and I've seen screen shots of his own discord that Vivziepop antis infiltrated where him and his followers go off about "n-words and Jews" and it's batshit because the same Vivziepop antis who take those screen shots that only further confirm that he's a nazi piece of shit, go off on tangents about how Viv won't fuck him, but apparently, they will, because they're under the delusion that they're "converting him to their side" just because he's also being a misogynistic piece of shit to Medrano in the monetized clickbait videos he makes off of her art and her images where he implies Medrano needs to be more like a neo nazi and a guy who became infamous for filming a dead body in a forest.

And it's disgusting because "ayylmao" got himself monetized and got a check mark and become a youtube partner from reuploading clips of Viv Medrano's work and doing this clickbait shit and he's monopolized it, the whole fandom, essentially, so the only why you can find out what the antis and hatedom are on about this time when you're trying to mind your own business in your own fandom tags and you're sifting through a distracting amount bullshit on tumblr and being harassed out of nowhere and you don't want to go on twitter and sift through an even worse amount of anti vivziepop hatedom and harassment that day? Are through his shitty clickbait videos reporting the short version of what the kind of "vivziepop drama" just happened now.

But he doesn't just stop with short reporting, eventually, he needed to start inserting his own shitty opinions into his videos, which is how I found out about his whole thing for PewDiePie and Logan Paul, even though I never trusted "ayylmao" to begin with.

The reason why this sucks is because he's become the biggest source of information in the vivziepop fandom outside of another person that goes by petitprincess1, and I blocked her and another annoying user ornithia for spreading my friends stolen photos, essentially running them out of the fandom, and being little pissbabies that I blocked them before that, so much so that I've seen these little weirdos anon groupies screenshot every time I merely vague about it or write their names down in my tags, because I've had them blocked for a little over four years now and I guess they've rather call me a "stalker" when I warn/talk to other people/vague about how annoying they were and they're still creepily complaining about how annoyed they are they can't get to me they have to their followers stalk me and show them screenshots of a blog that they're blocked on instead of just blocking me too. If you've skimmed through my blog like I think you have, you've probably seen that petitprincess1 originally blew up at me just for calling her "honey" when I was kind enough to answer to her nosy concern trolling at 4'O'Clock in the freaking morning after I called out some fandom ableism and she tried to scold and imply I was a bigot for that but since we practically mutuals at this point I just wanted to keep the peace because she was already a "big name" but then she had a whole tantrum on me and then ornithia felt the need to swoop in and White Knight her because I guess they felt chummy with me from interacting with my posts like Leeanne was too so then I to waste my time staying up til 4 in the morning again explaining why they were being an idiot over her and keep both of them blocked for being idiots after finding out what they were doing to my friends at the time and then both of them made it worse because they refused to leave the 3 of us alone and then petitprincess1 one went after me again and block evaded me when my friends were offline and she couldn't get to the two them.

I've began to honestly understand why no queer people or women want to touch VivziePop because honestly, everything surrounding the biggest names and sources of information in her fanbase is like a creepy weird bronified boundary-less mess and I don't if it's because Viv was surrounded by furry bullshit since she was young or that Blaire White/sh0e0nHead shit she got into from being a White Passing Privileged Bisexual Latina raised by a conservative family of lawyers and I'm not going to get into the whole James Somerton fiasco that made her shoutout to him making a shitty one hour clickbait video monetizing off her work age like milk and I'm not saying any shitty, ugly people being attracted to her fanbase is her fault but she needs to stop associating herself with all these shitty, ugly people who are beneath her and start by sending "ayylmao.tv" a fucking cease and desist just like all the other content farms profiting of her work, for one thing.

One of "ayylmao's" latest vivziepop clickbait videos I'm referring to above in my original post is his latest one where he "explains" the recent boom of ai content farm channels and the voice actors (rightfully) not wanting their voices sympathized, copied, and stolen, but by the end of the bullshit clickbait he tries to pass for fandom reporting, he tries to spin it as some morally grey issues asking his dipshit commenters to tell him who's in the right and who's in the wrong, so he can get more engagement, so he can get his youtube partner money, so his vivziepop content farm can get a Silver Play Button for covering a vivziepop content farm that got one before him.

Oh, and he also has absolutely no problem letting all these shitty content farmers into his neo nazi discord server and joining there's when he's offered. Let that sink in.

Anyway, my point is that I've had enough shitty people in this fandom, make some man hating takes or actual fanart for yourselves or get the fuck out! 🔪🩸 Quit scaring the actually attractive hoes away we need more woman here, not incels (and yes that also goes for the voice cast because chances are if you're a man who worked on the pilot and you don't share the same initials as Esmé Bianco I'm mad at you for killing the vibe and being an unprofessional piss baby about a recast instead being professorial to be the recast people are pissed at too! Who's also much sexier than the original actor in my opinion... Don't @ me! (◠‿◠✿) )

But yes, I do hope that this much longer, more in depth reply giving more insight into the context of what I was talking about was a captivating enough read for you, babe! ♥ X.O

And, let me just take this opportunity to say, uh...

I have ...

No idea ...

What the sudden influx of followers but absolutely no reason or interaction with my posts actual posts is about? Especially since one of the last two I felt the need to block had shit like this in their bio?

Even though I side with proshippers?

And this one seemed a little young? Like you all seem a little young and you're not really interacting with my posts and don't seem to share my fandoms and not to be judgemental, but the weeb shit anime blogs would already be screaming ANTI, even if it weren't for the "proshipper dni" shit while choosing to follow a proship safe blog, so I am kinda beginning to question all of my new followers intentions or if ai scam bots are getting smarter ...

And Sweetheart, I honestly just ran your entire paragraph through google to make sure it wasn't a copypasta and found nothing?

And I'm concerned,

Because I know it's relatively not a lot, but to faggotz, and to any other of my new followers, if you're real, could one of you please explain to me why I've jumped from 60 to 72 followers overnight and they've started even before that, when I've seemingly done nothing and the last post that I made, that you just reblogged, was 4 days ago?

faggotz, my dearest, do you and the others know nothing I don't know? Did a callout post about me happen on twitter or something? Did a callout post about me happen on here? Did someone attempt a hate blog about me? Because I know that it's happened before... Did my Ex boyfriend finally crack and leak Revenge Porn or something? Because to me knowledge the Evil Leprechaun hasn't made a clickbait video reporting it as "Hazbin Hotel Degenerate Mentally Disabled (Retarded) Insane Cripple Girl Drama Explained" yet... So I'm afraid I don't know what the fuck is going on.

But I will say, if any of this new found attention stems from a hate blog or anything like that you're all being cruel for not letting me know in the first place ...

This isn't out of malice or anything btw, just genuine confusion and curiosity... Are you one of my new followers giving me this feedback? :3 ♥

I appreciate you appreciating what I have to say so much and for your acknowledge of peoples lack of manners when they speak to me, though if you'd really want to build up a Weird Tumblr Girly for all her troubles with the haters, I hope that you won't become my enemy and I won't leave you too flummoxed when I tell you that my PayPal is right here: https://paypal.me/MoonbugRose

Love the username by the way, boozefaggotz! ♥

Though, the vibes as to why I'm getting all this attention right now still honestly have me kinda...

(If you appreciate my posts so much, you should pay me for creating if I have everything else turned off and you can't find any other way show that appreciation, and if this is because of a callout against me again, I'd like to know, but if nothing happened I appreciate you being genuine and it's nothing personal! ♥ Just covering all my bases! ♥ X.O)

Ayylmao.tv: Who's in the right? UwU The voice actors or the ai (content farm) channels? UwU

Me, about to go full Irish American Psycho: Haha, don't think that you're not a freaking idiot content farmer too now just for using your own zonked out arse incel voice lad, I so wish that you weren't alive! How 'bout you show us your Silver Play Button TM that you got from monetizing off everyone's misery, hmm? :)

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 11 months ago

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Once Upon a Time 3

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Andy Barber

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You can’t wait for your two days off. It’s rare that you get two in a row. Your plans are minimal, there’s a country store you like to wander around and the market is open on Saturdays. That liberation that comes with the end of your shift hits and you nearly dance across the store as you issue goodbyes with a chirp.

As you come to the front of the store, you stop short of the center aisle. A familiar voice has you ducking behind the accessories stand, listening with perked ears for your chance to escape. Andy. Again. It’s been two weeks since you made the mistake of being helpful and he’s taken to daily visits in the last few days.

You hear him ask for you. Your coworker apologetically tells him you just left. Thankfully she doesn’t realise how long it took you to do just that.

He accepts the answer with that same disappointment that tinges his tones when you’re drawn to another customer. You peek around as he wanders off listlessly towards the back section of the store. You notice how he seems to veer towards the employee lounge.

You skirt out, refusing to look at your coworker so they can’t flag you down. You push out into the crisp air and heave. You didn’t notice how suffocating the store was becoming. Especially lately.

You don’t want to let the close shave get in the way of your excitement. You’re going to start these two days off right. You stroll around the plaza to the cafe and join the bustling queue inside. The caramel mocha draws your attention as you wait, intent on try the new flavour.

When it’s your turn, you order and move aside to await your prize. You claim your cup and look around. Hm, there’s a small table left in the corner. You weave around and plant your drink on the table for two. You walk by the cafe all the time but you’ve never sat down to enjoy a coffee. You usually just get a medium roast before you clock in.

You settle in and take your book out of your bag. You crack it open to your mark and resume the chapter you’d left undone that morning. You sink into the paragraphs, stopping only to taste the sweet mocha treat.

The ambience of the cafe is buzzing. Voices dip in and out as people mill in and out steadily. You feel wholly invisible amid the rush of patrons. You kind of like the feeling.

You keep your head down as you read, cradling your chin as you get to the last page of the chapter. You sense a shadow looming, someone looking for a place to sit among the cramped seating area. You shrink down as you focus on the pages before you.

You feel a bump on the table and look up as your mocha sloshes over the edge of your lidless cup. You barely move your book out of the way of the spill. As you peer up at the culprit, you barely repress a cringe. Not him. Please, why would the universe do this to you?

“Oh, excuse me–” He smiles. He has nice eyes even if the rest of him annoys you. “I am just looking for somewhere to sit. I didn’t mean to bump into you.” He holds a steaming cup, “I’m happy I did, though.”

“Uh, yeah, well, pretty packed in here,” you say and use a single napkin to soak up the droplets on the table.

“Hm, yeah, popular place,” he comments, “looks like I just missed you at the shop.”

“Mmhmm, I opened,” you say as you crumple up the napkin. You don’t know what to do, he’s not really getting the vibe. The very clear tension that says I’m alone and not looking for company.

“Early morning,” he chuckles and looks around, emphasizing the act and he hums at the lack of seating.

You sigh. You should just leave but you were there first. And you’re almost done your chapter. You’ve barely even had a few sips of your drink too.

“Well, there’s… a chair here, I guess,” you say dully.

“Really? Oh, I don’t want to intrude–”

“I’m just reading,” you reopen your book and put it back on the table, “but you can sit if you want.”

“Thanks,” he eagerly pulls out the chair and sits, his cup meeting the table so hard that it shakes. “Yeah, I got a new book myself.” He unhooks the paper bag on his wrist as he puts it beside his coffee, “I’m really eating up these regency ones.”

“Ah,” you nod and pull your book to lean on the edge of the table, making a point of looking rapt.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll shut up,” he laughs at himself.

You do your best to ignore his jostling. He takes a slurp of coffee then opens the paper bag with a loud crinkle. Somehow he is more disruptive than the dozen other noises overlapping. He slides out the book and you peek up at his hands as he opens it, breaking the spine first. You tend to be a bit more affectionate with your books.

You reach up without looking and take your cup. You drink, eyes glued to the words. You’re getting irritated. You really can’t get back into the story with him just sitting there. You’re under no obligation to be nice here. This is your personal time.

The more you think, the more annoyed you are. He’s no longer adding to your work, he’s ruining your free time. You take a breath and mark your page.

“Ah, you know what,” you say as you check your phone, “I gotta…” you pause as you raise your head to find him watching you. You’re not sure he only just started that, “I gotta head out actually. I’m going to miss the train.”

“Train? Oh, well, if you need a ride–” he offers.

You do your best not to be too abrupt in your rejection, “that’s fine. No, really, that’s too much.”

You stand and pack up your book in your bag. You shrug on your jacket and sling your knapsack over one shoulder as you grab your drink.

“See ya,” you say as he watches you with a stitch in his forehead.

“Yeah, see ya,” he utters, “you work tomorrow?”

You swallow as you weigh your options. You smile and tap a finger against the side of the cup, “uh, yeah, I start at noon.”

“Great, I’ll see ya then,” he brightens up.

“Okay,” you hold back a scoff, “er, bye.”

You hurry past the table, brushing against his arm in the tight space, and go to the stand to grab a lid for your cup. You snap it on and beeline for the door, slipping out behind another customer. You pass the window and glance over as you do.

He’s watching you. Again. He waves as your eyes meet. You blanch and you flutter your fingers vaguely. You quickly cross the lot to the far end, well out of his view. This is getting strange.

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #drabble #au #series #once upon a time #defending jacob #bookstore au

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phillesterlover · 4 months ago

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Kinda scared to post this on Twitter but when will people realize that qrting and talking about something you don’t like brings more attention to it than just simply ignoring something you don’t like/blocking a user who makes you uncomfy. People are gonna act every kind of way it is what it is and everyone has a different opinion about rpf and sexual content/jokes. If you don’t agree with what someone’s doing or you’re worried DnP might see it and be uncomfortable…just ignore it. That’s the best way to make something go away. Any time I’ve seen explicit sexual content about dnp on my Twitter tl it has always been through a qrt or indirect. Seems like you’re inadvertently becoming the problem you’d like to stop.

Also - Dan and Phil have been doing this for a long, long time y’all. While it doesn’t say anything about whether it’s ethically right or not, they’ve been exposed to sexual content about themselves online for over a decade. They’ve sought out and read/viewed some of these things as entertainment. I think that there are lines that they definitely don’t want crossed, which to me is invasion/inclusion of their families/friends who are not content creators, privated/deleted videos/posts being reposted. Other than that, I think they’re grown, internet savvy and can accept the fact that people write smutty fanfic about them. The same people I’ve seen mad about this situation also have several tweets referencing their formspring posts, which I imagine make them more uncomfy than a tweet about them having sex in 2024.

Now if you don’t like accepting sexual content about real people, THAT IS OKAY AND VALID. Just ignore it. It would be different if DnP were to come out and say “hey, this thing actually makes us super uncomfortable and we’d like you to stop doing it.” THEN we can all become internet warriors defending their honor. But if anything they’ve been pretty clear that they don’t care. So I wouldn’t worry about it on behalf of them.

Now about the minors situation, even if an account is not a private account, if someone has “Minors DNI” or “18+” in their bio/username then that to me is an automatic warning that explicit/nsfw content is possible. And even then, as much as I don’t want minors exposed to sexual content, let’s all be real here. Most of us were 15-17 reading mature fics on AO3 unfazed. We watched DnP start the skinfic and knew EXACTLY where it was headed. You can put all the safeguards in place and minors will STILL be able to access explicit content if they look for it. We can’t make it fully safeguarded, so the only thing we can do is just be responsible about the content we put out there and hope that it’s tagged properly.

Sorry about the rant, it’s just getting so annoying seeing this drama continuously pop up. See something you don’t like? Ignore it. DnP don’t need you to be their internet police for them. Writing something explicit? Include 18+ in your bio, tag your fic appropriately. Also, have a mutual/friend who posted something you don’t like- you could always DM them and have a convo before deciding to put them on blast and create a hate campaign against them. This is just my opinion though, so if you disagree, feel free to reply/message to let me know your take.

#DnP #dan and phil #dnptwt #dnptwt drama #Dan and Phil Twitter #Dan and Phil Twitter drama #rpf #phil lester #amazingphil #phan #danandphilgames #tw: sex mention #tw: rant #long post

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thesinglesjukebox · 7 months ago

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PORTER ROBINSON - "CHEERLEADER"

youtube

April Fool's Day is over, now time for some SINCERITY...

[5.92]

Taylor Alatorre: This song sounds embarrassing. It sounds excessive. It sounds like something you might regret putting into the world five seconds after hitting "publish." It sounds, in other words, like high school. Porter Robinson's post-brostep career has been an extended treatise on escapism -- from the appealingly plaintive paracosms of 2014's Worlds to the soothing self-inventory of 2021's Nurture, with his Virtual Self side project managing to be both esoteric and stupidly self-explanatory. He's crafted a series of immersive alternatives to analog messiness, allowing the listener to check out of the everyday and place themselves for a moment in a softer-edged realm, with more explicable rules and a more poetic set of problems. "Cheerleader," though, offers the listener no assistance in either sidestepping or reconfiguring the uncomfortable reality into which they were born; music video aside, it's not really a song about fanbases gone wild either. Instead it's about the girl in your school's Anime Club who gave out her deviantART username before her phone number and taught you against your will what the word yaoi meant. The fujoshi representation, besides filling a glaring gap in the TSJ search index, makes it clear that this is about a real person and not an avatar, and it's that awkward flesh-and-blood realness which is precisely at issue here. Maybe she's as real as him, and maybe he couldn't live with that. The perspective of a boy who is unused to being the object of obsession is an under-explored one in music, probably because it's very hard to land it within the narrow range of acceptable loserdom. But Porter sticks the landing by enveloping us fully within the loser's headspace, where both his emo-inflected chagrin and his fragmented memories of the girl's "cheering" are enshrouded by a waterfall of blown-out Obama-era detritus. If you ever wondered what a big room house remix of Two Door Cinema Club might've sounded like, or Oracular Spectacular if it had debuted on Beatport, here's your answer. Other seemingly out-of-place additions -- the bitpop cowbell, the Punk Goes Acoustic bridge, the hilariously overwrought drumroll that becomes less so the second time around -- fit right into this 1080p capture of late adolescent bag-fumbling. Taken together, they convey a mismatch in interests and hobbies that may have seemed like a deal breaker at the time, but in hindsight was just another excuse to avoid vulnerability. Perhaps I only arrived at this gonzo interpretation because the 4chan-core single artwork serves as a kind of shibboleth for these things. If that's the case, then I plead guilty: I ate the apple. [10]

Oliver Maier: "We have Anamanaguchi at home." [6]

Hannah Jocelyn: I loved Porter Robinson's Nurture for its unapologetic sincerity, a balm when emerging back into the world post-lockdown. I miss that early hopefulness as the years have gone on; even now, it's hard for me to hear "Unfold" without being close to tears. "Cheerleader" is a frustrating detour, with inane lyrics about yandere fujoshis fetishizing Robinson -- you know you're doing nothing new when the Nostalgia Critic beat you to it, and Robinson hardly sells the can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em message better. Nurture, for better or worse, incorporated the pitch-shifting vocals of hyperpop into EDM (to the point where a trans woman musician I know grew frustrated with Nurture's acclaim for doing what acts like Katie Dey had done for years, regardless of how Robinson himself identifies.) That's worth acknowledging, especially as this attempts to go right to the source: 3OH!3 and Metro Station come to mind. Except there’s none of the polish that makes those songs work despite themselves -- What's with that tinny hi-hat? Where's the low end on the guitar? Listen to "Shake It"; that song from 2007 sounds better than this one from 2024. It's not enough to replicate the aesthetics; for some ungodly reason, Robinson decided it must sound like it's coming from a Hot Topic speaker too. [4]

Claire Biddles: We have "Shake It" by Metro Station at home. [4]

Tim de Reuse: I admire the chutzpah to take a stylistic hairpin turn like this. And I appreciate the ability to do that while retaining the crystal-clear boom-bap production chops that made you a breakout sensation in the first place. And I appreciate how it makes its power-pop references clear without sticking to them too desperately. And I appreciate the sheer craft; birds fly, rocks sink, Porter Robinson writes synth hooks that wrap around your mind and squeeze tight. And I appreciate the line about getting drawn kissing other guys. But there's a clean and edgeless quality here, a sterile expression of his EDM roots, that directly contradicts his attempts at a heartbreaking singalong. Nowhere does his voice crack with raw emotion; nowhere does it seem even possible that his voice might crack with raw emotion. [5]

Kayla Beardslee: Porter Robinson’s doing anime OSTs now? Good for him. [7]

Leah Isobel: I see this fitting into a whole universe of PS1/Nintendo DS aesthetic indie games, YouTube video essays about old anime, trans girls with Neocities websites, indie pop sung by vocaloids. I could call it hyperpop -- not in the sense of overdriven chaos, but in the sense of the hyperlink. (HTML revival would be more accurate.) As such, it feels a little too precise, its scruffiness deployed too purposefully; I feel like this stuff works best when the self is obscured, and Porter is too big of a star to let that happen. But that also means the chorus is fucking massive, so I can't complain too much. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: The soft, limply placed drums in the song for once are not the sabotaging element in this song. The lithe, acoustic guitar bridge is even nicely played. The guitar riff, doubled by the synth, is the true arrow to the heart of this song. Porter is processed to hell and back, refusing to give over his composition to a more present, entertaining vocalist, but that riff is so grating and stiff that when it first arrives, sliding up as the culmination of the slowly hopping pre-chorus, it stops the song from progressing any further, simply pushing Porter into the background and leaving his Melodyned voice slack below it, struggling to be heard. Now, does this stop me from screaming that chorus in my head? Of course not. It's not fair I have to keep hearing this grating riff every time, though. [6]

Ian Mathers: God, I love that recurring, overdriven synth sound that kicks in on the chorus. If anything I wish it was more all-enveloping when it hits (yes, like shoegaze, yes, I'm predicable). There's lots of other interesting things going on here, but I can't quite get over that visceral rush enough to figure out my response to it all. Hit the whoosh button again, Porter! [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Not nearly dumb enough for me to enjoy its shtick. [3]

Isabel Cole: This sounds like a One Direction album track in a universe where after they got kicked off The X Factor, Simon Cowell realized he could save so much money by replacing everyone but Liam with robots, only when they got into the studio there was some kind of malfunction and Zayn-bot started screeching uncontrollably and Niall-bot fell on his side crackling horribly with static while Harry-bot and Louis-bot took turns punching each other until they were dented beyond recognition, and that's why it sounds like how it sounds. (Liam didn't notice anything amiss, obviously; have you met him?) [4]

Will Adams: At the heart of Nurture was its... well, heart. On that record, Porter Robinson wore his on his sleeve, crooning lines like "I'll be alive next year / I can make something good" without a hint of irony. On "Cheerleader," he surprisingly lets a bit of cynicism slip in. It's not a leap to see how producing such earnest, sincere art would naturally invite fans to form parasocial relationships, to draw fan art but not know where to "draw the line," to develop a near-fatalistic expectation of commitment. But between each of those details is a generous counterpoint, where Porter wonders if he benefits just as much from these feelings. It creates a fascinating tension, expressed best by the chorus: "IT'S NOT FAAAAIIIRRRRRR!", stretched over a fizzy, tightly-wound power-pop arrangement complete with a skyscraping synth line. Porter just can't help himself. We've all got feelings; why not scream them to the rafters? [8]

Katherine St. Asaph: Porter Robinson's brand of earnestness makes my heart feel burnt or dead. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#porter robinson #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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mischievouslittlecreature · 5 months ago

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Ngl seeing your post about reader interaction made me think about how I used to write for a different fandom years ago. I used to get quite a bit of readers but then I noticed a massive change long before covid...where people would be demanding me to write for certain characters like I was some kind of robot that just spit out words and had no feelings. I ended up losing so many readers and being ignored because I didn't want to, that I left that fandom and deleted my blog. I also wrote on quotev (anyone remember when that was the spot?) and had to change my username because I was worried that people would connect the names.

I don't get a lot of interaction for the fandoms I write for now and I'm always worried that I'm going to end up the same way, because I had stopped posting fanfiction for like 5 years? before I finally came back a few years ago. I write for myself sure but knowing that somebody took the time to like it? That makes my day. I know I'm not obligated to somebody's likes or kudos or reblogs or whatever but I myself try to like or reblog sometimes!

But I totally agree, there is definitely a new group of readers that are acting like they can either demand stuff or if they do like it they just scroll on by because it's cringy and again like no obligation but I would feel awful if I treated a writer like that because I know that being in that situation sucks!

Anyway, sorry for the rant, reading what you posted made me have a flashback. Feed your writers people, Please! we write because we want community.

I'm about to go raid your AO3 page now though...you're descriptions hooked me in!

I agree with all of this! I didn't start really posting any of my writing until late 2022, but I've been reading and interacting with fandoms since long before that. There has definitely been some sort of shift in the way readers view writers in recent years. I am so sorry that you got ignored and ended up deleting your blog! That's awful! I'm glad that you're still writing!

The entitlement that some show when it comes to fanfic writers really makes me mad sometimes...there's a trend online that I really hate where people seem to think that every piece of media that they consume has to cater to them, including fanfic. It's infuriating.

And oh, thank you, sweetheart! I hope that you enjoy my fics! 🖤🖤🖤

#lily replies #anon 🖤

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boyakishantriage · 10 months ago

Note

imagine being a matpat defender LOL. cringe tbh

...

My reactions to this:

Who the fuck is mat pat?

Sounds kinda like a burger joint

...

Damn, now I want burgers

Where are my keys.

Haha, I have gas.

... Who is mat pat?

Defender?

... Oh, like. Person or organisation.

...

He just makes dumb videos using conspiracy thinking for fun.

I guess that's a thing now, making fun of people who think too much about video games and stuff.

... What Berger do I want?

... Huh, they're using anon.

How do I word- ooh.

Burger, burger, burger.

Burgor has been completed.

... Hm, think here or think home.

Wasn't there a video of something the kid had. Like.

@boyakishan or something?

... Trash into the bin :3

He he he.

And off we go.

... This post is kinda. Hyper fixing on a few things.

... I mean, I guess the video has transphobic elements. Though they're really old and kinda cringe.

Yeah, the quality of this pyro video is more than a bit shit.

Not much research. Just first few results on google.

I'm gonna do chores. I need a break.

... Wasn't there a video about him leaving FNAF or being less focused.

Huh, well. FNAF was left because they didn't like people who were more straightforward and boxed in.

Hm, that time they called kids being in boxes was before everyone and they were called dumb. And now everyone's more accepting of that now it's mainstream.

Huh, what's this video about...

Oh. Looks like matpat fucked up and made his hollow knight video on half truth and forgot a few major contradictions and questions I'm his theory.

... I guess I can watch the pyro video again.

Oh. It's cringe.

It's very cringe.

Ahhh, cringe.

... How old...

... Wait, what resources were available for trans people around then?

... Huh, you gotta dig deep for that.

Wait, this video says something about his old videos needing more research.

... Huh, a lot of these counter videos seem to act like matpat's supposed to be this crowning representation of all the correct things.

... Huh? Sans is ness?

... Ok, so. It's. A little cringe. But our there. But it kind of makes sense. Is that controversial to say?

... Hm, wait. Isn't there a memory of a key ask?

... My friends are trans...

Wait, if you watched this and took those comments as insult about your friends you hold really really close to heart...

These articles are kinda bland, clickbait titles and just air stating things we already know

Yeah, I'm. Confused? I don't get what's so bad about a bunch of nerds geeking out about video games and stuff?

Uhh, anon. Huh. That's. Interesting, too scared to show your username. Wait, doesn't our pinned have a thing about complaining about shit you go to @boyakishan ? This is more of a system blog thing...

#tag #Echo #ask #anon #ask answered #:?

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kim-poce · 2 years ago

Text

4. Erased Past: Hospital Room

Masterlist

CW: implied past torture, fear of punishment, hallucination, panic attack.

=-=

Cassio jumped awake. Anwir’s voice didn’t change from the nightmare to the reality, it was still sharp with an ever-changing tone. They were mocking him now, mocking how weak he was acting when everyone knew that he was a bad person now.

Contrary to his dreams he wasn’t in a dark cell, waiting for punishment. Instead, the base’s infirmary was bright and clean, he seemed to be being taken care of; what he doesn’t deserve. There weren’t even cuffs keeping him from moving, he wouldn’t try to get away from deserved pain, but the team couldn’t be sure of that.

Are you going to tell them now? Anwir in their mind, laughing jovially. Tell them what you deserve?

Cassio quivered, “If-if-if I tell they they-”

They will hate you? You say it as if you deserve to be loved. You don’t. You only deserve never ending pain. Or do I have to put you in your place again?

“N-no-no, please, please, I I know I-”

“Please calm down,” Leader’s voice came from far away.

“I don’t think he can understand us,” Teammate said.

Cassio looked around, there was no one there, only he and his own thoughts, the voices felt so close, though. It felt as if they were watching how shameful and attention seeking he truly is, how he is acting all dramatic just to look like a victim.

Do you want them to see you? Anwir's voice asked, cold, angry, disgusted. You are lying to them, Cassio, and you dare to want help? You dare to hope for forgiveness? Kneel.

He knelt. Alone in the hospital room. Was it always this dark? Wasn’t the lights on just a minute ago? What is he hearing? Did Anwir give a new order? Is he disobeying this instant? Will the punishment increased again and again and again-

“Should I black him out again?” Teammate asked, “I don’t like watching this.”

“It doesn’t matter if you like it or not,” Leader said, his voice seemed so close, yet the room was empty and getting dark and smaller by the second. “I need you to calm him down, take away any weapon on him. That fucker isn’t speaking anymore but we can’t let our guard down. The others will arrive soon.”

“Will they, though?" Anwir said, they were smiling, it was clear in their voice. “Will they-”

Cassio flinched at the loud shot, “I thought I had destroyed the last speaker already,” Teammate cursed, putting his gun back to the holster. He was angry. Would he take part in the punishment himself? He isn’t the kind of person to do this, but Cassio deserves it if he does.

“Cassio,” Leader called, the hospital room was tiny now, he was still alone. “I need you to breathe. In and out. Just breathe until I tell you otherwise.”

He obeyed. He would obey anything, maybe they will go easier on him later if he does.

=-=

Taglist: @throwawaywhumper, @kathea, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee, @extemporary-username, @wolfeyedwitch, @bookworm2107

#erased past #whump #team whump #implied past torture #fear of punishment #hallucination #panic attack #whump fic #my writing #not a reblog

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groovytimesyall · 2 years ago

Text

A Mixtape For Your Thoughts

This is a Steddie fic I'm writing, It's not great but its got three chapters so far. I thought I would post it here and link the Ao3. There is also a playlist below this post and its on Spotify. Its under this title under the username TheGroovyGirl

The Start Of Mixtape Madness

Steve was sitting behind the counter at the Family Video checking in tapes when the bell above the door rang signaling a customer had entered “Hi welcome to family..” was all he got to say before one Eddie Munson interrupted him. Watching him he strolled in and up to the counter, this had been going on for a while now, meaning ever since everything went down and Eddie's name had been cleared and he graduated, he had been accepted into the tight knit group who shared the horrors of what laid beneath Hawkins. This acceptance had come with him now showing up to the Family Video to what seemed to Steve distract from his boredom when no one better was around. He had seen the way Eddie had fallen into place with the group and it made him happy but it also felt like a threat of losing what he considered his family even if Eddie was part of that. Thoughts aside, this had to have been the fifth time he had shown up either after work or just bored.

“Hey Harrington” was Eddie's interruption to Steve's well versed greeting. Walking up to the counter he leaned on it being nosy of what Steve was doing. Looking at him, he could tell he was confused on why he was there because it was definitely not for movies. Since everything, Eddie had been studying Steve, the way he acted around his friends, from this he learned that Steve could hide very well but underlying emotions always cracked the surface with him. From that it came to his attention that no one other than Robin may have caught onto this. Other things he had noticed is how touchy he was with everyone except himself, it was always a hand placed on a kids shoulder, Robin tucked under or hanging from him or fuses over collars of shirt but he was always tactile. He himself did not want to admit how it set a jealous flame off but it did, and maybe it had something to do with the growing crush he had on Steve that he was constantly pushing out of his mind. The growing friendship with Robin had also helped Eddie in his study, she had said that though Steve had all of them he had no “guy friends” and that Eddie should try to be his friend as they were the only other guys their age that they talked to. That was kind of a slap in the face to him but nonetheless true, it made sense though he couldn’t share anything that had happened to him with others so why not stick with the ones that went through it to.She had also said whether he liked it or not Steve had put him on his list of people he would protect. Though insisting this wasn't true, Robin had denied and said that Steve was more than what people thought and once you went through shit with him he always had your back. From that Eddie had thought about how he found out Steve was “actually a good dude” and decided to try to wiggle his way into friendship with Steve. There was no other reason he told himself. That’s how he found himself visiting the Family video.

“Hey Eddie” was all he said, placing a tape down and giving his attention to the curly headed man leaning on the counter.

“Have you seen Dustin around, he keeps pestering me about having a movie night with the whole gang.” Eddie said nonchalantly, he really had nothing better to do or ask even though he was the one that had come into the store.

“Um no, but he has also been non stop asking me about that. You know one day I'm just going to go crazy from him, he is so demanding sometimes.” Steve said with no real bite behind it. Eddie huffed a laugh at that.

“He is going to make you go gray with how much he asks and you nag at him” Eddie laughed. Steve pretended to look shocked and put his hand near his hair like he was trying to protect it.

“That's not funny Munson, I don't have a lot but I have my hair.” Steve pouted playing along. “So is that all you came in to ask about or am I just a midday boredom distraction?” he said while drumming his hands on the counter.

Eddie gasped being dramatic “Stevie no, you've driven a stake through my heart.” He was now leaning back gripping the counter as he slid down “I’ll never recover!” Steve was now looking over at him on the floor, a grin he was trying to hide plastered on his face. “Um actually I think I'm okay.” he said standing up invading Steve's personal space just a bit. “You want to go to the diner after your shift is done? Unless you have other things to do?” he babbled fidgeting in place.

Biting his bottom lip where it had split open so many times before he stared at Eddie for a second then said “Um sure, I get off in about fifteen minutes actually.” Eddie distracted himself by looking at movies while Steve finished his shift. As soon as Keith arrived Steve hurried to the back room to clock out and when he emerged Eddie was standing near the door to leave both not really wanting much interaction with Keith, he didn’t particularly like Steve but dealt with him and was still scared of Eddie like the rest of the place they called home.

“All just follow you there” Steve said walking through the door and to the beemer.

Following him out and to the van Eddie gave an “okay” and hopped in. He looked over at the beemer and the boy inside a little longer than he should. Quit that, it will never happen. Pulling out onto the road like a maniac he drove off the burgundy beemer trailing behind.

“He is gonna get himself killed” Steve sighed watching as the van in front of him race off. In the few minutes he had to himself in the car his mind wandered, he really did want to be Eddie’s friend there was this little zap to his system whenever he showed up, but he pushed it down. The kids really liked him and Robin had fallen into place just as she had with Steve but one thing he didn’t know how to navigate was the space between them. He couldn’t lie, he was always touching people, with no parents around he had lacked that and had latched onto the people he had. It was most evident with Robin who just hung off him or was holding his hand or messing with him in some way and he didn’t like to admit it but he mothered the kids, now really teens, as much as he argued with them. Now he didn’t know how to initiate that with Eddie but he wanted to but it was confusing and made his brain hurt so he stopped thinking. Now in the parking lot he got out and watched Eddie as he went to the door.

Opening the door for Steve he put on the dramatics, with a flourish he said “My good sir”. With a huff of a laugh from Steve he followed behind, he went straight for the corner booth and sat with his back to the wall. This was something Eddie had noticed, everywhere they went whether in a group or now he was finding out alone, Steve was always scanning and watching like something was going to pop out and attack. He didn’t blame him for this obviously with all that had happened but he also wasn’t sure Steve knew he was doing it. Before he could say anything the waitress came to take there drink orders, as soon as she saw Steve her eyes lit up then hers locked with Eddie’s and for a split second it was blank then scared.

Not letting a second waste Steve piped up “Are you gonna ask what we want to drink or just stare at my friend.” It was said flatly and no threat behind it but it shocked the girl into motion. She took their drink orders and left. “Sorry about that, I don’t like being rude but I also can’t sit here while she was looking at you like that.” He huffed, face tinting pink he picked at the menu trying to avoid Eddie’s face. She was quick to bring the drinks back and taking their orders.

“Thanks, for saying something. But enough about that, she can go suck it. Done anything exciting since summer started?” He asked

“Umm not really, unless you count Robin dragging me around to the thrift stores while you aren’t around. Don’t get me wrong I love Rob but there are only so many times I want to go shopping with her.” He exclaimed

The reply came out giggling “I was gonna argue with you but honestly, going shopping with Robin sounds like a nightmare. I can just see it, I mean I get distracted but I know she does too but like she would want to dress you up and all that.”

Putting his hands over his face Steve was trying to hide the blush creeping up.

Like a light bulb going off leaning back feet going forward into Steve’s space Eddie was laughing “she did that didn’t she, oh I’m definitely going shopping with you next time.

Looking at him he assured “ You say that now but you’ll be subjected to it, I promise you, there is no stopping her once she has started.”

The food was coming and Eddie had returned to an upright position but his feet were still bracketing one of Steve’s. This was one way he had decided to test the waters of touch with Steve.

That little flutter happened when Eddie didn’t move his feet. The only sound between them was eating, he hadn't realized how hungry he was before this. Again his mind wandered, this time about Eddie and his music, just by looking at him you could tell it was important and he played the guitar. “So how long have you been playing the guitar?” He asked

Looking surprised at the sudden question he answered “since middle school, Wayne saved up and got me an acoustic guitar one Christmas. I was already starting to obsess over music so that kind of just blew it out of the water.” He was grinning,talking about music always made him smile.

“That’s cool, so when did you get the electric guitar?” He was trying to keep the conversation going.

Looking up like he was grabbing information from his brain he replied “about 2 years ago, that I had to save up for myself.” Taking another bite and speaking with his mouth full he said “Probably should have not gotten the money like I did… if you know what I mean.”

“Gotta do what you gotta do… right.” Steve defended his actions

“Why are you asking Stevie, you want to come see me play?” He tapped him in the ankle when saying this. At that moment he blank stared at Eddie for a moment, the nickname rolling around his head and the implication of other things from the tone in which this was said. It was funny, that never happened when Robin called him that.

Trying to play it cool he sputtered “ No, I mean yeah that would be cool, but I have been playing again for a little while and I don’t know anyone else who does.” His face felt hot.

It was Eddie’s turn to blank stare, shocked at what had just been said “ You Steve Harrington play the guitar… an instrument… you know you're full of surprises. I don’t particularly like the music you listen to but I certainly respect fellow musicians.”

“Okay for one: lots of people play instruments and two: how do you know you won’t like the music I listen to? I don’t know really much about your music you like but I would give it a try.” He argued back.

“We’ll, from getting to know you a little bit. I think you're a top 40s guy. Also, is that a challenge, big boy, cause I’ll make you a tape to see how much you like my music.” He was leaning forward arms on the table being his dramatic self, some people were peeking at the two.

“Okay yeah I do like the top 40s but I also have some stuff I don’t think you have ever heard of even if it is not your taste in music. Yes, how about we each make a tape with 12 songs. They're not really winning anything but I don’t care, I'll prove you like some of my music.” He was leaning into the table now, both their eyes locked on each other. And again that spark happened in his stomach. He relaxed again in his seat trying to calm whatever unnamed emotion was coming up.

Still leaning on the table Eddie said” you gotta deal. Also back to you playing guitar how long have you played? You could have told me sooner. I feel like that is a cool thing to have in common with someone.”

With a sigh “ So when I was little my parents kind of forced me to take lessons, they said it would make a well rounded person, and you know that’s a great privilege I had but if you're not into it then you don’t really want to do it. For like three years I did it and it was all classical as soon as they let me stop I did, but every once in a while I would pick it up and now I kinda found I like it, if I’m playing things I like.” There was a lot of underlying sadness to this statement and to Eddie it highlighted what everyone never talked about which was that Steve’s parents seem to be a topic he strayed away from.

With this new information the need to hear Steve’s playing grew. “ I gotta hear you play now or at least at some point and you can see what I do. It would be fun!”

With a shrug “Maybe… I’ve never played in front of someone.”

He didn’t push it any further, sensing some underlying emotion to that statement. “Okay, but we still gotta make the tapes!” Steve nodded to that, in truth he already had ideas running through his head.

Finishing up they paid and walked back out into the early summer heat. The days had gotten longer which was nice, less darkness for the unknown to lurk. The Beemer was parked closer so Steve stopped by his door “alright I’ll see you around Ed.”

Walking backwards and squinting “ okay Stevie see you soon.”

Getting into the car Steve waved as he started it and backed it out. He watched the van through his rear view mirror until it faded off in the other direction. All he knew now was Robin was getting a call, to discuss today's events.

#steve harrington #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #robin buckley #gay eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #A Mixtape For Your Thoughts #stranger things fanfiction

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 2 years ago

Note

TW: Stalking, social anxiety, social media pressure.

Seeking advice and suggestions about what to do.

To give some background info, social media wasn't huge while I was in high school. FB was really the only big site people around me used, but I didn't have too many friends during high school and I just wasn't that interested in it. Then, I got IG, which I really enjoyed for about 1 year. But thanks to IG I did run into some stalking situations and had a nervous breakdown, and even though I was an adult by the time I had it, my mom was upset and felt like it was something I did behind her back (she never explicitly said "No social media" but just assumed I'd never get IG because of me never being into it before).

It took me a long time to stop being anxious about social media but fast-forward to this year and now my current friends are using it, so I joined in, but I'm not really using it "with" them even though I've added them, it's not mutual.

When I added one of my friends they told me in advance that she doesn't always see people show up in her feed, which I understand, but I still thought she would've added me back after I told her my username?

I also have some friends who I added a long time ago but who never added me back, maybe because they didn't know me well enough back then, but I see them interacting with everyone else?

And then finally I have a friend who seems kind of similar to me (generally doesn't seem like a huge social media person but still likes some of the cute pictures and memes that end up on there; she's also my closest friend out of my current group). But I remember her getting stuck on the sign-up page (you know, the "Are you a human?" drag and drop tests), got annoyed, and gave up on trying to join since she said it was too hard for her to figure out. So I get where she was coming from but at the same time I felt a little upset because I think having her on there with me could've given me a confidence boost and maybe if our other friends saw me interacting with her, they'd add me back and include me in stuff, too.

I feel like it's kind of a silly thing to even think about. I'm not hugely into social media and at the end of the day I feel like my friends are my friends because we still do other activities together and get along. But I still get a sense of being on the outside looking in when I see them making inside jokes to each other and tagging each other in cute friendship memes and stuff. Plus because of my bad experiences with social media before, it actually did take me a lot of effort to finally pull out myself out of the severe anxiety and trauma I felt towards it and give it another shot.

I don't want to be one of those pushy people who's like "Hey, you need to add me!" especially since I have tried to like... "gently nudge" people into adding me before, and they haven't shown an interest back. I don't want to be "annoying" about it but it does make me feel left out sometimes, and then I blame myself for not knowing how to act on these sites, and what comes off as normal vs. annoying.

Hi anon,

I’m so sorry to hear of your social media experiences, especially in regards to stalking, and I’m so glad you’re safe.

Social media can be such a tricky thing - on multiple levels, and I can definitely relate to needing to learn how to navigate it a bit as an adult (since I come from a similar background in that it wasn’t huge while I was in high school either) - especially when it came to digital boundaries, including but not limited to, deciding who gets access to me, my privacy, and how we define “friendships.”

On one hand, social media allows us to be more connected than ever, with people we very likely might never have met in any other way (international friendships, niche interests, online groups, etc). On the other hand, many people feel more alone than ever, and I truly believe in some instances it has to do with needing to ask ourselves, and be willing to share, what we want out of social media - and then explore a bit to see who else might share the same goals.

For example:

How do you define the word friend? Acquaintance? Mutual?

Is there a certain amount of interaction you’re looking for? Weekly? Monthly?

Do you have various levels of what you would consider intimate, vs casual? Say, do you like the idea of sharing your birthday online, and getting multiple messages that day? Would you prefer a digital card DM’d to you?

Do you have any special interests, where you could join some online groups? Sometimes finding that common interest can help get the conversations flowing and get to know people a bit easier as you dive deeper into exploring friendships.

These might seem like simple questions, but depending on someone’s boundaries and privacy they might have very different ideas than you on what they’re comfortable with. And just like you should have the freedom and space to share what your hopes are as you explore these new relationships, so should they with you - maybe you’ll find overlaps, maybe you’ll realize it’s not the best fit, but that doesn’t mean it’s an automatic red flag, or says anything about you or the other person.

I do hear you on that fear of perception, of wanting to be cautious about how you try to engage, but I feel like you could do everything “right” and still be viewed as “annoying” by someone. I feel it might be more about how you communicate your wants and needs early on so both parties can feel secure moving forward as they build a foundation of friendship. And if you have these conversations, and you realize it’s not the relationship for you? Then worst case scenario, you spare yourselves a bit of a heartache down the line, and make room for people who do share your similar interests.

Regardless of what you learn, and decide for yourself as you explore online friendships more, I hope you cultivate relationships in safe and mutual spaces, that add some joy and laughter to your day.

- Mod Kat

#trauma talks #mod kat #tw stalking #tw social anxiety #social media pressure

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lycheejones · 4 months ago

Text

My Mother

One evening, I gently open the door and peek in before entering. Inside, my mother lays on the bed with a stack of books beside her. Moments ago, my father said to not disturb her since she had a migraine. I couldn't help myself though, and just had to see what she was doing away from the rest of the family. She doesn't say a word when I open the door, so I come in and climb on the bed with her. She stretches her arm out and wraps it around my shoulders. The window is open, and I feel a light breeze. My mother picks up a book. It is a collection of Yoshitomo Nara’s artworks. We flip through the book slowly and I stare intently. The art is so odd, but so appealing to a child’s eyes. The artwork consisting mostly of weird little girls resonated with me. We look through the book mostly in silence. The light is yellow and bright, and it’s dark out. The curtains move gently with my mother’s paper fairies stuck on them. We finish flipping through the book, and she tells me to go so she can go to sleep. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I hope I hugged her goodnight. That would be my last good memory with my mother. That night, she would pass away in her bed during a house fire. I always felt closer to her than to my father, and a part of me wanted to be like her so badly. In my eyes, she was the best artist I've ever met. Her work, attitude, and approach to life seemed so perfect, so spiritual, as if she was almost not a human but instead some kind of lynx spirit. To this day, sometimes I read through her livejournal blog. Her username is “lynxlynx” and I don't think it's a coincidence or a silly name she picked for herself. I think it was her. Her true name. A week ago, I sat with my grandmother in her kitchen, and she told me stories of my mother during her younger years. We have been talking previously about how hard it is for me to control my emotions sometimes, and how aggressive I can be without really meaning it. She told me stories of my mother being extremely aggressive towards her whole family. Lashing out, threatening, and even physically pushing her own grandmother. At first, I was appalled. This icon, legend, in my life, acted so horribly towards the people she was supposed to love and care for. It comforted my grandmother to know that I despised my mothers foolish actions and would never act that way myself. But at the end of the day, my mother was a lynx. A wild animal. She did things that are so hard to understand to us mortals, that can in no way be justified. I love her. That's the bottom line of this letter. I love her. I love her so much. In three days, when the veil between her world and mine becomes thin, I’ll give her this letter. I want you to know that I understand. I understand why you were the way you were. I know that I can never be like you, but that is the second greatest thing I can ever be. I love you so much. You're a wild animal, you always were, I don't know how I would love you if you were still here, but I will love you the way I can now with this barrier between us. Take care of your cub, and I'll be here, waiting to join you someday.

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yulin-pop · 3 years ago

Text

⤷ ✧ Sadist

- order 6 | Headcanons | Heartslabyul, Pomefiore + Idia

Gender neutral

Sadist (noun) — A person who derives pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.

Note: Personal headcanons again! I did characters that I think would pair terribly (or perfectly depending on how you see it) with a sadist. Also this is sfw, I just think sadist characters are funny.

Small warning: You’re picking on all of them and making some of them cry. Also a bit of slapping

Riddle Rosehearts

You seem so normal at first glance. He truly believed you were a normal person, actually he thought you were kind. But, he was extremely mistaken. He found out by when you began teasing him. It’s Floyd all over again! He saw how you giggled and smiled in genuine satisfaction in seeing him frustrated. He would thrash endlessly when you would lock him into place by grabbing his wrists and making him face you. You would make comments about how red his face was.

“Aw~ are you blushing? Do you enjoy me teasing you?”

“I AM NOT BLUSHING.”

Though after the first incident, you acted so different than the person that teased him almost to tears the other day. You offered him your slice of the tart at the unbirthday party.

“Trey’s tarts are tasty. Have some of it!”

It scared him how you acted so sweet and caring one time, but the next time you would go out of your way to make things harder for him. It was be roulette everytime he spoke to you. Was he gonna get a sadistic jerk or a loving friend?

He thought it was some sort of alter ego or someone was controlling you.

Though, he was always too scared to ask you or tell anyone about it.

Trey Clover

He is also a sadist. Though compared to you, he’s nothing. He can see your thought process and try to make you loose interest but in doing so, makes you more eager to see him get angry. He tries to hold himself back from showing any negative reactions around you. You would go as far as to sabotage his cooking.

“Trey—! Why is the tart—?!” Riddle coughed and covered his mouth, “Spicy?!”

He immediately turned to you as you waved a half empty hot sauce bottle in the air with an accomplished grin.

Yet, you can be an angel. Like the time he ran short of money at Sam’s mystery shop. You paid for his items out of pure kindness. You also praised him for his cooking skills.

“Trey! Your pastries are always so delicious. I’m jealous of your skill. Could you teach me sometime?”

It always threw him off. He didn’t expect you out of all people to be a secret sadist. Well, it’s always the people who you least expect.

Cater Diamond

Definitely not prepared for it. He was so caught off guard. Luckily, he did not have to experience it first hand. But he saw how cruel you could be.

“My, my it appears neither of you have gotten anything done. Are both of you so pathetic you can’t solve one question?”

“I-I’m sorr—“

“Awww you’we sowwy, aren’t you? Continue to apologize, come on I’m waiting.”

You slowly moved the two poor freshmen to tears while Cater listened pitifully from another room. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Are you really the same person? You’re the one that asked for help when creating a MagiCam account? You didn’t even know what to put for a username or bio!! You were so lost and innocent (in his eyes).

“Cater, someone …DMed…? Me. They said that they want me to be a model?”

“Yikes, that’s a scam! Don’t reply to it!”

It was rather sweet seeing how unaccustomed to were to the internet. But just to make sure… He made you take a sadist test.

“Just answer the questions!”

“Wait what is it about?”

“You’ll see, you’ll see.”

He handed you his phone and watched as you tapped the answers.

Do you like seeing someone in physical pain?

Yes

Do you like seeing people cry?

Very much yes

Do you like seeing people frustrated?

Yes

Do you like being the cause of somebody’s pain?

Extremely so

Needless to say, you were officially deemed a sadist no matter how much you protest it.

Ace Trappola

He’s one of the unlucky subjects that saw your sadistic side at its peak. He thought you were light hearted and easy going when he first met you, you didn’t even bat an eye when he insulted you and mocked you.

But he found out otherwise after inviting you to study. He thought he could mess around a bit and drew something on the side of your paper. Your eyes spotted his pen on your paper and you immediately flicked your hand at the pen, sending it flying into the air. You raised up your hand and slapped his hand, a smack noise went throughout the room. The pen you flicked fell back down and hit his head as he withdrew his hand.

“Ow! How did you do that?” He squeezed his hand.

“Quit messing around. You look totally pathetic.” You said with a glare. He swallowed and continued on with his work.

After about an hour or so, you decided to see how far along Deuce and Ace have gotten. Deuce was doing fine, even though most of his answers were wrong, but Ace hardly had anything done. Ace brushed you off as you scolded him for his laziness.

“You’re the one who invited me. Don’t you dare waste my time.”

“C-Chill out—“

“Kneel.”

“What are you tal—“

“On your knees, Ace.”

He reluctantly complied and you stared down at him. “Now, I want you to explain how within one hour and 27 minutes you only got 14 questions done. What were you doing the whole time? Deuce is on question 28 and I’m already done.”

“Errr… I was—“

“Goofing around, I know that.

Let’s see, there’s 45 total questions. So how would you like 31 slaps on your wrists?”

Ace shuttered and rapidly shook his head. “N-No please!”

After that lesson, he strongly believed someone was influencing you with magic. It has to be. You’re too chill to ever to that!!

Deuce Spade

He should know from experience that appearance doesn’t always match personality. But you looked so polite and nice! You were very nice too! At least that was until that one study meet you he had with you and Ace.

He knew you were serious about studies but you took it to another level. Ace’s wrists were as red as the roses he painted by the time it was over. Deuce saw you the next day and you were acting completely normal.

You smiled at him and Ace and gave him an extra eraser.

“This eraser is in the shape of a flamingo! Ace, here’s a hedgehog one!!” You said enthusiastically. Ace, still resentful from last night, took it and stuffed it into his pocket. You smiled all the same. It scared him. When was gonna be your next out burst..?

He was always in his toes around you. He tried to decline every study meet up that you suggested but when you’d ask, Riddle would be right there saying “you could learn a thing or two from them.”

Leading up to where he’s at. It’s not even his fault! It was Ace who started it!

“My, my it appears neither of you have gotten anything done. Are both of you so pathetic you can’t solve one question?”

“I-I’m sorr—“ Deuce was quickly cut off before he could explain.

“Awww you’we sowwy, aren’t you? Continue to apologize, come on I’m waiting.”

“I-I! I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to waste your time b-by messing around. But it was only because Ac—“

Deuce yelled as he felt his wrist burn bright red after being slapped by your tough hand. Tears slowly started to form in his eyes and he looked down in defeat.

Vil Schoenheit

Your beauty was one of an emperor, it was the best way to describe it. You took authority if needed and kept up appearances. He tolerated you. But, he really didn’t expect to hear all these rumors flying around.

“Have you heard, that magicless prefect is a total sadist! They even have enough guts to mess with the housewarden!”

“Rosehearts?! And he let them get away with it?!”

Vil was disappointed in Riddle for that but soon came to an understandment after witnessing your odd tendencies up close.

“P-Please, where did you find that?”

“In the classroom, you don’t happen to know who it belongs to, do you?”

“It’s mine! Please return it.”

“Hmmm… Should I? Maybe I will if you get down on your hands and knees and beg. Go on, beg for me to return your precious little journal.”

Vil watched in utter disbelief as you made this poor boy plead with you while on his hands and knees.

After that, he was unsure what to think of you. Your caring attitude became sickeningly sweet and unnerved him.

“Good morning! Thank you for the skin product suggestions, everyone has been saying I look a lot better!”

“No problem at all..”

“Anything wrong?”

“Not at all. Get along now, I have duties I must attend to.”

Rook Hunt

Ah, the beauty you possess is ethereal. He wishes nothing more than to see every part of you. He enjoys the way your personality can flip like a switch and you can conceal how you really feel so well. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, you are. He praises your every presence and loves the way his compliments throw you off.

“Ah~ please use those words on me, Roi du Sadisme!!”

“P-pardon? What do you mean?”

Simply because of that, you never break character in front of him. You are an Angel around him. You even talk to him and converse about many things (He’s a bit handful but he’s interesting). He wants nothing more than to see your show your sadist side, preferably towards him. He makes small comments about it and you act oblivious.

“I don’t call you Roi du Sadisme, for nothing.”

“Hehe I sure hope not!”

The thought of him being so utterly obsessed with being talked down by you intimidates you. Enough so you want to avoid him. You sometimes drop by other people he’s also infatuated with and then flee when he’s distracted.

“Good morning, Leona!” You said as you felt Rook’s beaming gaze on you avert.

“What do you want herbivore?” He said with a tired voice.

“You ought to get more sleep.”

“Are you just here to waste my time?”

“Ah, I’m sorry. I’ll be leaving now.” You spun around and ran away.

You looked behind you and there stood Rook.

“AHH!!”

“Oh? Did I spook you, Roi du Sadisme?”

“S-Stop calling me that!”

Epel Felmier

Oh no, you’re one of the many people Epel would like to avoid. Not only are you the type to make fun of his appearance, you’ll physically pick on him. You know exactly how to push his buttons to make him react the way you want him to.

“Your hand is so very small, isn’t it?”

“Grrrr…”

He didn’t bother hiding his true personality around you considering you didn’t make an effort to hide yours. He gets to see the worst of you, you get to see the worst of him. Sometimes it gets to the point where Epel can’t control himself. Not even Vil can tick him off this much.

“Wouldja just’ stop?!”

“Why would I ever do that—“

SMACK

You froze for a second and held your cheek. “Oh wow, you really just did that.” You said with an amused smile.

But when you two aren’t showing aggression, people say you’re a good combo.

“Epel and MC are a perfect match!”

“True, they look like really good friends!”

Epel’s soft, quiet boy appearance and your nice, angelic personality makes it appear so, apparently… (Yall can be enemies to lovers if y’all would just work it out)

Idia Shroud

Eek! He’s officially scared of you. He is naturally distrusting and suspected your kindness was nothing but an act but for once he was right? It even shocked him. But no matter what you say, it can’t hurt him. He already degrades himself.

“You never leave your room, how does a robot have more a social life than you?” You snarled at him. But no response. You were put off by this and crossed your arms.

“Yes…”

“Huh?”

“You’re right. I don’t have a social life. But… please say more!!”

“W-What the?!”

He actually loves the way you speak to him. He admires how you can so confidently talk down on people. People also tend to like you even with your rude personality. Teach him your ways!

“Sadist, please teach me how to be like you! Teach me how to be confident but likable!!”

“I-I-I have to go.” You said as you ran off. You nearly tripped.

People are difficult, and he ends up being rude because he doesn’t know how to react, leading to people disliking him. But you’re rude and people still love you!!

He sometimes finds himself stalking you. He’s painfully obvious about it and always makes you stop what you’re doing.

“I studied all night and still only got a 55/60… What did you get Ace?”

“I got a 55 too, Deuce here got 47!”

“Hey! I studied hard too!”

“Maybe next time we should study together?”

“N-No that’s ok. We’ll get Riddle to help us!”

“Aw that’s uh— uhhh…” You quickly cut yourself off as you heard someone muttering loudly behind you. You didn’t want to turn your head but you already knew who it was.

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kamisathoes · 3 years ago

Note

41 with streamer!rosaria?

❀ #41: "you keep acting like a little brat and i’ll take you over my knee right here, i don’t care how many people are watching.”

summary: cockwarming streamer ! rosaria while she's live.

warnings: sub ! f ! reader, kind of exhibitionism(?), cockwarming, toy use, slight bratty reader.

minors, ageless blogs, and non wlw/nblm do not interact.

rosaria's streams had grown popular due to her. . . unique demeanor. she's monotone, uncaring — and something that always bemused her viewers was the stark contrast between her cold disposition and the polar opposite one of her girlfriend. you practically radiated sunshine, a beaming smile always plastered on your face when you appeared on her channel. little did they know, you would end up with her stretching open your pretty pussy while she was live.

you'd begged for your girlfriend's attention, growing needier for her touch as she began setting up her stream.

"you know that i can't just cancel, princess." she explained, having already made you aware that this was a sponsored stream, so it would reflect poorly on her if she rescheduled it. "why don't you join me; i'm sure that i can think of a compromise that you'll enjoy."

the "compromise" was to sit you in her lap, your cute skirt splayed out and panties discarded somewhere under the desk. the deep red strap-on that you loved so much stayed buried inside your slippery cunt.

the tiny red light indicating that rosaria was live lit up, both of your faces appearing in a small window on her screen. you could see usernames and emotes flooding through the chat, greeting their favorite streamer and excited to see her adorable guest. though all you could focus on was her cock inside you, fidgeting on her lap just for a little extra friction.

while one hand remain on her mouse, the other gripped your hip as she hissed a warning into your ear, quiet enough that her microphone wouldn't pick it up: "don't. fucking. move."

it was a struggle to maintain your bubbly, regular persona while your velvety cunt fluttered around the silicone inside of you. you did your best to hide any whines, though failed to prevent yourself from rolling your hips every now and again. if you didn't know any better, you would slip your hand underneath your skirt and begin to happily massage your twitching clit.

the sheer thought of that made you whimper and reposition yourself once again, though in hindsight, this was a bad idea. as you made your first movement, rosaria grabbed your body, forcing you back down on her cock.

"don't be stupid, otherwise all of them will see that you're not wearing any underwear."

the comment caused a shiver to ghost down your spine, shaking at the thought of so many people seeing you so vulnerable and being used.

"dirty whore," rosaria spat, knowing that you enjoyed the thought that she'd implanted onto your sweet little mind. "they all think that you're so innocent; i wonder how they'd react if they knew that you're such a slut that you couldn't wait a while for my cock,"

as though nothing had happened, rosaria refocused back onto her viewers and the game before her. after a while, her focus seemed razor sharp, so surely she wouldn't notice if you just pressed a single finger between your folds, only to assess how much of mess that you'd made.

but you were wrong. her digits wrapped around your wrist, pulling it away from the hem of your skirt. her eyes remained trained on the screen before her, careful not to alert anyone to your compromising situation as she whispered to you again, tone harsh and threatening.

"you keep acting like a little brat and i’ll take you over my knee right here, i don’t care how many people are watching. only good girls get to cum, princess.”

#☏ thena’s got mail !#💌 — anon #[ 💕 ] thena thirsts #thena.writes #˘ᵕ˘ rosaria #rosaria smut #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #thena’s night shift ✧

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cazimagines · 4 years ago

Text

A Freudian slip

Synopsis: While at Madripoor you have to pretend to be Zemo’s latest date for the undercover mission which leads to you having to play your part out well, if it is really you just acting or perhaps it’s a bit more than that

Warnings/Tags: Sexual innuendos, make out scenes, refrences to sex, use of the word daddy, spicy moments but nothing 18+

Word Count: 2.3k

Author note: I wrote and edited this all in a day to avoid revising for my exams so hopefully the quality is good. I have more Zemo one shots planned but if you have any requests please suggest :)

This fic is also being published to my ao3 account under the same username

Masterlist

Sequel

You rolled your eyes looking over yourself as you stood within the bathroom in Zemo’s private jet. Because of the mission, Zemo had told you that you needed to dress up to the part and had supplied you with a tight-fitting black dress which only came down to mid-thigh length and had a slit on either side of it showing even more of your legs. You didn’t even know why he had a dress on hand in the first place but you weren’t going to question it. You already felt uncomfortable enough having to carry out this mission however it wasn’t like you had much of a choice either. Quickly checking to make sure your hair was good once again in the mirror you finally pulled yourself together and left the bathroom and headed outside the jet where Zemo, Sam, and Bucky were waiting.

As you left the jet all their eyes turned on you. Both Sam and Bucky had the decency to look embarrassed and glance away from you whereas Zemo didn’t hide the fact that his eyes were running up and down your body.

“The dress fits you well y/n, you look ravishing,” Zemo tells you holding his hand out for you to take as you reach the end of the stairs.

“Do I have to” You question looking from his hand to him annoyed

“You have to play the part y/n” he replies but Sam cuts forward placing his hand on your shoulder and leading you down and away from Zemo, “She doesn’t have to yet”

After leading you a few steps away from Zemo he places his other hand on your other shoulder and looks you in the eyes, “Are you sure you are okay with this y/n?”

“I’ve done missions similar before, this is no different. Plus I don’t have it as bad as Bucky” You say glancing over at Bucky sympathetically

“We’re both having to do things we don’t want because of him” Bucky states glaring at Zemo then looking back to you, “We’ll both pull through it”

“Hey, you better be including me in that as well. I would much rather be anywhere than here right now” Sam says letting go of your shoulders and pointing at Bucky

“You should be more thankful that I agreed to help you and kindly let you ride in my plane, but no matter now our ride is here. You might not want to play your part now but when we get out of this car your acting needs to be very realistic” Zemo says motioning to the car beside him.

He opens the door to let you in and places his arm on your lower back as you climb into the car. His gentle touch on your back makes you feel just that bit more intimate with him but as quickly as his hand was placed it was removed with Sam pushing past Zemo to get into the car beside you.

The car ride there was awkward, to say the least. You all sat in silence as the car slowly approached the city. Though Zemo sat in the front you felt his gaze on you when he glanced into the inside mirror. Your eyes meet at one point through the mirror and you quickly glance away not wanting him to delve into your eyes. Eye contact had always felt like something so intimate to you.

Eventually, the car pulled up and you arrived at your destination. The car door opened and Zemo’s hand was once again offered to you to help you get out. This time you accepted. He helped you out of the car but once you were out he didn’t let go of your hand, instead holding it more firmly as he started to guide you along with Sam and Bucky trailing behind you.

You two didn’t speak much as you arrived at the bar. Instead of taking a seat next to Zemo, you waited for him to sit down and then placed yourself in his lap, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and resting your head on the fur part of his coat. Zemo chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist so you didn’t fall off, and rubbed his hand slightly up and down your hip.

You closed your eyes for a moment, letting your mind wander as you rest your head against his shoulder. The smell of rich cologne and what you think were fir needles. You wouldn’t lie and say that you didn’t like the smell. The truth was you liked it a lot. It made you feel comfortable which was saying a lot as you were currently in the lap of a murderer but it was like you could fall asleep now and you knew you would be safe.

“Two glasses please, one for me and my lady here”

You open your eyes again, reminding yourself you are currently on a mission. You glanced as Zemo and though he wasn’t looking at you the side of his mouth curved up into a smile like he could read your thoughts.

The man places the drinks down and you reach forward to grab yours and hand Zemo his which he smiles in thanks to you.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” the man says to you, narrowing his eyes.

“I found her on my travels, showing her the world” Zemo quickly replies, and to make your relationship seem more realistic he places a kiss on your temple briefly. Even though it wasn’t anything that intimate it still made your cheeks blush.

The man chuckles observing you, “She seems quite innocent”

This time it was you narrowing your eyes at him angrily, “What did you say” you spat. You felt Zemo’s grasp on your hip tighten in warning as he chuckles, “Oh I can assure you she isn’t”

You breathed in trying to control your anger. You’d like nothing more to slap Zemo but instead, you force a smile at him then downed the drink in your hand. You needed it.

When a man came up to Zemo he quickly lifted you off his lap and stood putting himself in front of you and the man as he dealt with him. You watched in anger as he made Bucky fight while all you could do was stand beside Zemo and bite your tongue. You felt Zemo’s hand brush up beside yours again, not quite grasping it yet reminding you he was there. You take his hand in yours, wrapping your fingers against his gloved ones. The interaction makes Zemo glance down for a moment but quickly focuses back on Bucky.

When they finally let you go in to visit Selby, Zemo leads you once again not letting go of your hand. When you entered the room you just wanted to stand by the side with Sam but Zemo dragged you over to his seat making sure you sat on his lap, your arm going back around his shoulders, and this time his hand rested on your exposed thigh.

Zemo started talking to Selby about Bucky, acting like he was trying to sell off an animal. You weren’t sure exactly what Zemo’s plan was but you felt uneasy being in Selby’s presence. And dread-filled you more when she finally acknowledged your existence.

“So who’s this bird you have resting on your knee?”

“This is y/n, quite the treasure isn’t she?” Zemo replied looking at you smirking

“That’s for certain.” She turned to Bucky, “What do you think soldier”

There were a few moments of silence till Zemo said “answer” and Bucky replied, “She’s very beautiful” while still keeping a straight face and looking forward. Selby chuckles seeming satisfied and her eyes turn back to you, her eyes trailing up and down yours.

“She doesn’t talk much”

“I can talk plenty when I want to” You quickly reply, moving to adjust yourself in Zemo’s lap to appear more comfortable. In moving in his lap you can hear Zemo’s breath hitch briefly.

“Is she only yours Zemo?” Selby asks

Before Zemo got a chance to answer you were determined to make it clear she wasn’t going to get anywhere near you. You moved your hands up, running them through his soft hair and turning to stare at him.

“Oh yes I only belong to daddy”

You feel your stomach drop as soon as the words leave your mouth. You hadn’t meant to refer to Zemo like that it had just suddenly slipped out. Sam’s eyes instantly widened as he looked at you and Zemo however if Bucky had heard he made no indication, keeping the same stoic expression and staring forward.

Zemo instantly responded after you said that patting your thigh and looking you in the eyes and saying, “Yes I’m afraid this good little girl is mine and mine only”

You could tell from the way his lips curled up into a smile and his eye sparkling that he enjoyed what you had just said and now how embarrassed you were like he was teasing you for admitting something.

Yet his eyes also seemed kind, soft in a way. You were so close you could feel his breath on your lips and it made you want to explore his lips. It was just a mission after all. It was an act. You had to do this to prove to Selby that you were his ‘bird’

Raising your other hand you cup the side of his face, resting it on his jaw. His eyebrow quirks up in surprise at you initiating this contact but you don’t give him time to consider much else.

You press forward pushing your lips onto his. His arm leaves your thigh instead wrapping them around your body somehow pulling you even more physically closer. His hand grip on you tightens, surely leaving a bruise. You could feel his lips open slightly trying to press further into you like he had forgotten where you were but you hadn’t. After a moment you place a hand on his chest and push yourself away from him, breathing heavily.

You two stare at each other for a moment, speaking words of desire through your lustful eyes till the sound of a slow clapping breaks you both from your trance.

“My my wasn’t that a show,” Selby says smirking at them, “I didn’t know you still had that in you Zemo”

“Well…” Zemo trails off, finally looking away from you and shrugging his shoulders as he smirks at Selby.

They get back to business while you try to recover from everything that has happened. You could feel Sam’s eyes burning into you but you were avoiding him. How could you face Bucky and Sam after that!

Everything was going well till a phone ringtone interrupted them. Your eyes widen in shock, finally glancing over to Sam whose eyes are filled with worry.

The colour drained from Zemo’s face as they all watched Sam answer the call.

The rest of it felt like a blur. Sam’s cover got blown and that means so was the rest of theirs but before they could even do anything Selby got shot in front of them. Zemo wrapped his arm around your waist and guided you out of the building quickly. However, it wasn’t long outside before you were being shot at. Sam and Bucky ran forward whereas Zemo pulled you right and led you down an alley till the gunfire stopped.

“We need to catch up with Sam and Buc-” you started to say but Zemo pushed you into a wall, his body caging you in.

“What-What the hell?” You asked looking up at him, feeling once again a blush creep up on your face at how close you two were.

“Daddy huh?” he asked, smirking down at you.

“Are you seriously going to do this here!? Right now”

“I don’t believe we will get another chance of a private conversation without Sam and James” he mutters, still staring down at you, his eyes refusing to move away from yours.

You can feel your cheeks burning bright red and look to the side avoiding his gaze, “There’s nothing about it, I was just playing my role”

Zemo takes his hand, placing it under your chin and turning your face towards his. He leans in, his lips almost touching his, “You were very convincing”

You don’t reply, instead, your eyes are focusing on his lips, he slowly grazes them against yours then pulls back looking you in the eyes as if asking millions of questions. His hand reaches up to push part of your hair that was covering your eyes behind your ear, as you feel his hand by the side of your face you feel the desire to lean into it.

“I…” You start but trial off, “Perhaps…” you try again, “Perhaps it wasn’t all acting” you mutter

A cocky smile creeps onto Zemo’s mouth as he looks at you, “I thought not”

“Oh shut up and kiss me” you angrily reply and Zemo doesn’t hesitate to give you what you ask. His lips crash onto yours as his hands wrap around your legs, lifting them making you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer to you. You grab the fur parts of his coat but he grasps your wrists in one hand and raises them above you. His lips move all over you hungrily before leaving and trailing down your jawline and onto your neck. He tugs on a bit of your skin and sucks on it causing you to mewl in pleasure.

“Y/N!? ZEMO!?” you hear Sam shouting in the distance

Zemo sighs pulling away from your neck, “It seems our private time together is over little one”

Gently he places you back on the ground, taking your hand rubbing his thumb over the back of it, and guides you over to where Sam and Bucky were trying to find you two.

#baron zemo #zemo #helmut zemo #zemo x you #zemo x reader #i love zemo #tfatws #zemobucky #bucky barnes #marvel #daniel brühl #fatws #sugar daddy zemo #yes this about zemo

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thewertsearch · 2 years ago

Text

Asks Compilation 27/6

I’ve heard about this! They’re both games about building up your house, so they’re a natural fit. Do send those games along when I get to the point when you can!

It’s just like being a furry - sure, it seems weird, but many subcultures do. There’s not really anything wrong with weirdness, after all.

They’re a street gang, and they’re led by Gamzee himself. Watch out, Markiplier.

The whole thesis of the music video is a celebration of everyday miracles.

Sure, it’s presented in a pretty bizarre way, but there is a good point there - life is full of things that, by rights, should never stop impressing us.

Jade + AC = future Juggalos?

Look. All I’m saying is: have you memorized Maxwell’s equations?

Jokes aside, I guess it’s pretty easy not to know how magnets work when you explicitly don’t listen to scientists...

I didn’t even know there was one, to be honest.

It’s not unrealistic to see these thirteen-year-olds from 2009 dropping slurs, but I try not to include them in the commentary.

Bec is the invincible Super Dog, and he will help her complete the level. He’s even white!

Blue-bloods scoff at the low-brow Daedric, and Red-bloods think anyone who uses original script is stuffy and boring.

Thanks!! I’m finding I’m enjoying this project more with every Act. There’s just so much to get into with this comic!

It occurs to me that the later you find this blog, the more of a backlog you have to catch up on. Which, depending on your perspective, can be another positive!

As for the ‘sona.. to be honest, it’s taken a lot of willpower not to pause the liveblog and make a full fanfiction for her Sburb adventures. 🤣 Guess I need all the Sburb lore to do that, though, and it’s fun to slowly develop her session as we slowly learn how sessions work.

Aw, shucks. Honestly, I haven’t really done any sprite art in years, but when I was answering the Alchemy ask, I realized I just had to depict these items I was coming up with!

Btdubs, I used Aseprite for all the art, including the gifs. Highly recommend it.

Oh, dang it, I didn’t even notice! Gotta amend the script a little, because that might cause some problems with interpreting the text down the line.

He kind of is that, isn’t he?

This was my full prediction for Gamzee’s personality, based solely on his username. The guy isn’t exactly a thrill-seeker, but he is a sopor addict with little concern for his health. Once again, these usernames really say a lot.

Yeah, if you actually think about what’s happening in John’s case, you can make an argument that his entry was the most stressful of all. He was the first in, and understood his situation the least, while Rose and Dave at least had the benefit of knowing what an Entry was.

I didn’t think to interpret John’s hesitation to bite the apple as a deer-in-headlights response, but, now that I think about it, that may have been exactly what was happening.

No, but now I wish it was.

Sally official title CONFIRMED as Chef of Food.

Since it’s not Terezi, I don’t think any of the trolls we’ve seen so far are Vriska - the vibes aren’t right. I think it’s one of the five trolls we haven’t heard from yet...

Dimple, eh? I hope he doesn’t start possessing people, like some other Dimples I know...

* Smells like SC4L3M4T3S.

That’s one of my favorite Undertale quotes, and it’s only fitting that it be a Terezi reference.

I actually don’t remember fighting that dude in Undertale, but yep, apparently it’s a Hotland spawn. The references never end!

Thank you! Had a ton of fun making those items.

I’ll hopefully be making more of them, down the line - maybe next time my Kidsona will try to make meta-items incorporating the Alchemiter, Kernelsprites, etc?

Act 5 has been a great demonstration of dramatic irony. We know all the trolls will end up in the same session, and we know the session is doomed - the only thing we don’t know is how we got to that point.

Why does this feel like something Terezi would actually do?

And yeah, the gradual reveal that all of Terezi’s bizarre behavior with the kids was her actual personality is one of the best and most understated bits in the comic so far.

Terezi would fit really well in the Ace Attorney universe - either as one of the many unhinged human lawyers, or as a straight-up alien in a crossover game.

I honestly feel like Terezi would make a really good lawyer irl, with the proper training. Her mannerisms wouldn’t be a problem if she had talent - and I think she has talent.

Heh. To be honest, the Witch class has always been the one that sounds the coolest to me. Bard and Maid are in joint second place, but I just love the irony of a technically-minded Player getting a mystically-flavored class - just like Jade did, I suppose!

#asks #full liveblog #act 5

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cinnamonest · 3 years ago

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Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask. Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

#.camgirl

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