#I do like the triangular theory of love

[dribs-and-drabbles]

This was going to be a post only about shoes as a gift for @respectthepetty...but then Pet made this post about graphic designers understanding the assignment and my thoughts started spiralling. I'll come back to the title cards and colour-coding later...but first, SHOES!

If you've been following me for a while, you'll know I pretty much lose it when I see a Thai character wearing the Mustard yellow-soled shoes (I really need to buy myself a pair). It started with Pat, Pran, and Pa in Bad Buddy...

...but the shoes have also been worn by Win and Lin (in Cupid's Last Wish), Tinn and Gun (Our Skyy 2 x My School President), Jeng (Step By Step), and most recently, Zo in Hidden Agenda.

But this isn't the point of the post. No.

My gift to Pet is my recent discovery that Joke in Hidden Agenda has shoes with BLUE soles.

I have yet to find them online but I haven't given up yet. I mean, look at them (I need a pair of these as well):

I had noticed the little pop of red on the heel during the airing of the show and thought it was a nice little nod to the red and yellow theme, but the discovery of the blue and Pet's insightful post I mentioned earlier has got me questioning.

Because I know the red and yellow theme was emphasised with the roselle and chrysanthemum juices, and the stories of the red roses and yellow sunflowers...and I know Pet has already written an outstanding analysis of the use of these two colours plus the blue and how they connect to the triangular theory of love...BUT I can't help looking at this

and wonder if this graphic designer also really understood the assignment.

Like, really understood

Really

Definitely

Understood

Because despite the red, I wonder if we do have singular colour-coded characters, with Joke being a loyal blue boy and Zo a yellow yal.

On Zo's practice date, he's painting in yellow with the yellow water in front of him but Joke has blue water in front of him despite painting green (in their play-fighting Joke threatens to throw the blue water over Zo). Joke also wipes the green on his face - a combination of these two colours.

After the date-that's-not-a-date, Zo decides to leave for a few days and takes both these colours with him (and, he soon accepts, Joke as well).

And when they meet Uncle Yod the hotel owner he's wearing their merged colours.

To Joke, Zo's face looks like the sun. He feels comfortable and warm around him. Zo thinks Joke should learn to generate that warmth for himself. Warm and cold.

Zo struggles with Joke's sincerity (just like they struggle to get the blue bus moving), even whilst wearing the blue shirt (with the yellow detail below the collar).

And even though Zo wears red once (and pink a few times), he wears blue several times. (I don't think I remember seeing Joke in red at all). And we get a colour exchange, with both of them in front of green backgrounds.

And finally, despite going home to his very red family, Joke has blue over his heart and Zo is finally embracing his yellow.

I'd very much like to posit that these are their true colours, that they've been carrying in their soles souls the whole time but maybe hiding them because they weren't fully sure of themselves or each other. Because when looked at like this, the graphic designers really did follow the assignment.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Twelve: [Bring Me The Horizon]

Summary: After Jensen and Jake finish their face-off, you tell Jake how it is. He practices the art of holding himself accountable for his actions, and you get a call that would send you into a downward spiral. Putting you in jeopardy right before your surgery.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion. JEALOUS JAKE!

Word Count: 5.1k

Author Note: WOW and we’re back baby. Another year has passed us by and we are finishing this series. Strap in for the final three episodes of this roller coaster of a series. You never know where we might just end up.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The triangular theory of love is a theory developed by Robert Sternberg. In the context of interpersonal relationships, the three components of love according to the triangular theory are, intimacy, passion, and a decision/commitment component. For Jake, he felt like love was more than just a triangular theory. Love is all-encompassing in every aspect of life. And if you look closely, love can be seen all around us in all different forms. 

“Bradshaw, now’s not the time man,” Jake sighed as he made his way back down the hospital hallway to your room, walking with his shoulders down and his ego battered and bruised. “I gotta fix an issue and my head’s not–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, Rooster interrupted with a crucial question he needed answered now. 

“How is your mother gonna react when I show up to take your kids?” The genuine concern in Bradley’s voice was clear enough for Jake to stay on the line as he walked. “Do I need to be concerned about her calling the cops?” 

“Dude,” Jake groaned to himself in frustration as he walked with purpose down the hall. He could feel his rage and frustration bubbling to the surface with every step he took. Who did this Jensen guy think he was? Who did Jake think he was? You didn’t ask for any of this and you definitely didn’t deserve his tantrum before. “She’s not gonna call the cops on you, just tell her to call me if you have any issues and get Jas to help you.” 

“Your mother is a terrifying woman–” Rooster added, just to rub salt into Jake’s already existing childhood wounds. 

“Well, at least she’s alive.” Jake had never regretted a sentence more in his life. The second he realised what he’d said and who he was speaking to, his heart fell straight out of his arse. “Bradshaw I didn’t mean–” Before Jake had a chance to speak, before he had a chance to explain that he wasn’t talking about Carole—he was talking about you—the line went dead. 

“Fuck!” Jake looked at his phone screen to see the call had indeed been ended. He felt the panic inside his chest. The guilt. 

Jake had developed a pretty uncanny ability to fuck things up. He couldn’t help himself at the moment. He was having a hard time regulating his emotions. It never had been his strong suit, but now it was worse than ever. Perhaps the idea of losing you forever was the cause. Jake couldn’t accept the possibility that there was a good to fair chance you might not walk away from this fight. 

But he could see the bottom of your bed again and where your feet were underneath the breathable hospital blanket that did nothing to keep you warm. With every step Jake took in the hall, he got closer and closer to where he’d left you. And with every step he took he tried to formulate an apology that would reflect his utter sorrow. His pain. His guilt. You were the first person that deserved an apology for Jake’s actions. Bradley would just have to wait. 

In hospitals, people see addiction every day. It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be far too easy if it were just drugs, alcohol and cigarettes people were addicted to. The hardest part about kicking an addiction is wanting to kick it. I mean we get addicted for a reason, right?

Often, too often, things start as a normal part of your life and at some point, cross the line into obsessive needs, compulsive out of out-of-control desires. It’s the high people chase. The high that makes everything else…fade away. But nothing could make Jake Seresin fade away. Nothing so far had helped you kick the addiction. Not even when you left. 

The harsh reality about addiction is it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting you that high…stops feeling good and starts to hurt. So when the very person you were addicted to walked back into your hospital room, the hurt started all over again well and truly after the high had died down. 

“Okay,” Jake stopped in his tracks when he saw that look in your eyes. Although a sense of calm washed over him the second he saw you again, he knew he was probably the last person you wanted to see after the way he behaved before. “I recognised I’m in the wrong here.” It was the look he wished he’d never been on the receiving end of again. A look of disappointment mixed with anger, hatred, and, above all, sadness. “I owe you an apology.” 

“No thanks,” The tone you conveyed was sinister. There was no warmth. No love. No room for compassion or empathy. “I’m not interested in another empty apology.” You didn't even look Jake’s way. You just continued on with the little word finder you had picked up in Jensen and Jake’s absence. “If you’re done swinging your dick around in the hall like a psychopath, I need to rest.” 

Jake was stunned. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He knew he deserved that. He knew he’d taken things too far. He knew he’d flown over the handlebars the second Jensen stepped into your room. But it was all out of fear of losing you. Why couldn’t you see that? Jake felt as if he could stand right in front of you and you’d look straight through him. 

“Honey, don’t be like that,” Jake sighed as he took a few steps towards your bedside. The bouquet Jensen had brought you was lying haphazardly on the little bedside cupboard. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did alright, I know, and I promise you I’m trying here.” Jake sighed as he looked at the flowers another man had gone out of his way to buy you. A dying man. 

A dead man walking. 

“I’m glad you’re self-aware,” You replied yet again without paying any mind to Jake’s whereabouts in your room. “Never really was your strong suit.” You murmured just loud enough for Jake to hear your mild insult. You could have said it louder, hell, you should have. But regardless of Jake’s actions…he was an addictive drug. One that made it incredibly hard to kick the habit. One you knew you’d go back to. One you wished loved you the same way you loved him. 

“Jensen knocked some sense into me,” Jake tried his best to explain all the while he tried to hold back the lump in his throat. The kind of lump that brought tears and panic attacks with it. “He was kind enough to set the record straight.” 

“You understand how big of a piece of shit you have to be to say what you said, right?” It was the first time your tone had changed. There was something beyond painful in the way you spoke. Something Jake had tried time and time again not to be the cause of. Heartbreak. Betrayal even. “You jealous, insecure man.” 

For a second, Jake absorbed the blow. He took it on the chin like a champion because nothing you were saying was wrong. He was scared of losing the love of his life in a way that wasn’t just through marriage. 

“I know,” Jake replied as he picked up the bouquet and looked around. He was looking for somewhere to put them. Somewhere to display the beauty that they emulated. Beauty that reflected you. Where could he get a jug or something to put these in? “I don’t have an excuse to give you, honey,” Jake was trying his best to stick to the honesty is the best policy crap he’d been taught as a child. “I’m just, I got so worked up when he came in here knowing more about you than I did and–” 

“Jensen is a friend from group therapy,” You explained yet again. “And this is the last time I’m gonna say it before I let you run off with whatever version of a warped reality you wanna believe but I swear, there isn’t anyone else.” You sat up a little straighter in your bed as you closed your find-a-word book. “I have cancer, Jake. In what world would anyone want me?” 

“You love her, don’t you? You’re in love with my wife, say it.” Jake could hear himself asking the all-important question. He could see himself standing in the hall with the man who had selflessly intertwined his life with yours in order to make you feel less alone in the world.

“Maybe–” Jake vividly heard Jensens reply as he stood staring at the tears that fell down your cheeks. Tears he was the very cause of. “Maybe I love her, but I don’t get a chance to explore that, you do though.” 

“Me?” It was the sincerity in Jake’s voice that broke you as he put the bouquet down where he’d originally found it and made his way to sit beside you on your bed. “I want you forever and the very idea that some guy—some guy I know is a better man than I will ever be—brought you, my wife, flowers when I didn’t? Kills me.” 

“I don’t care about the flowers,” You sighed as Jake wrapped you up in his arms. 

“I know, but I let my own insecurities out in a way I never should have and I’m so sorry for the things I said. You don’t deserve that, ever.” It was genuine. The apology for his actions. Jake knew he was in the wrong with how he acted out. You could very clearly see that he was truly sorry. But letting him know that now would have been too easy. 

The pair of you sat in your hospital bed for the better half of five minutes silently enjoying each other’s presence and gentle touch. Until you broke. 

“I hope you aren’t expecting me to say apology accepted?” You smiled softly as you nuzzled into Jake’s chest a little more. Finding a comfortable position to rest in as you sunk lower in the hospital bed that wasn’t built for two fully grown human beings. 

“Nope,” Jake chuckled as he kissed the top of your head, freshly shaved and matching his own. “And I don’t think Rooster is gonna be accepting any apology I give him anytime soon, so the list is growing.” 

“What happened with Rooster?” You asked cautiously. You felt the tension take over your husband’s body as he processed what you‘d just asked. Jake held you a little tighter as he once again kissed the top of your freshly shaved head. The notes of your shampoo must have seeped into your scalp. He could still vividly smell the residual fragrance of bergamot. 

“Nothing that can’t be explained,” Jake sighed softly. He hated himself with a deep-rooted passion right now. The one thing he wanted to do more than anything else was take you home and pretend everything was alright for just one night. But he couldn’t do that. “Please, don’t worry about my mistakes when you have so much on your plate already. I’ll figure it out. Rooster and I always do.” 

“Hmm,” You replied with hesitation as you let your eyes close. The lup-dup of Jake’s heartrate soothed your soul, a heart that begged to be loved in all the ways he deserved to be loved. “I hope so. Martha Stewart’s best and closest friend said the words that sent her to prison,” You explained all the while Jake’s fingers drew unidentifiable objects into the supple skin of your forearm, careful not to mess with any of the tubes attached to you. It was grounding. “So whatever happened between you and Bradshaw I hope you fix it before he spills all your dirty little military secrets.” 

“Good thing you’re a true crime author, huh?” Jake smiled with a reluctance to give in to his biggest desire. What would be the repercussions of sneaking you out of this hospital right now? 

“No way you’re ending up in one of my books anytime soon,” You giggled softly. Jake felt his heart skip a beat at the sound of your happiness. You felt it too. The moment his heart decided it needed a second to process the laughter you let out. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, honey,” Although the circumstances said otherwise, for a second Jake felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. To be loved by you. To be the one you called home. To be the man you chose would forever be Jake’s greatest accomplishment in life. “I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you in any of them.” 

************************

“No signs of life.” 

There’s a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels. They like to pretend they’re hard, cold scientists. They like to pretend they’re fearless. But the truth is they become surgeons because somewhere, deep down, they think they can cut away that which haunts us. 

Weakness, frailty, death. 

It isn’t just surgeons. It’s paramedics too. First responders like to think they have a hand in what fate holds for you. They believe that if they can move a little quicker, stop the bleeding a little faster, and save you from life-threatening injuries, they can give you extra time. Even for just a day. 

But the truth is, we don’t know a single person who isn’t haunted by something…or someone. And whether people try to slice the pain away with a scalpel, pull someone from a car wreck, or shove it in the back of a closet…our efforts usually fail. 

So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest…finally, finally…to rest. 

“Do we have any information on the victim?” Ilona shook her head as her unit chief looked around the scene. A single-car accident. The mangled wreck of twisted aluminium and shattered glass really painted a telling tale of destruction. No one could have survived the magnitude of injuries that they would have sustained on impact. 

“I’ll see if one of the guys picked up a phone or something, perhaps it’s still viable,” Ilona replied in a monotone voice. She was new to the horrors that her job sometimes brought with it. The hurricane forced winds that would sometimes knock her right off her feet. But she was learning how to work through the plethora of different emotions in a professional manner. “Poor guy, what do you think happened?” 

The black body bag laid out on the stretcher was a not-so-gentle reminder that life was a precious gift. Paramedics carried the deceased man until they were loading him into the back of the van. No sirens would be needed for this particular patient. 

“Crash investigation should have a report for us in about a week,” Taylor, the unit chief, replied as he watched the doors to the ambulance close with a thud. “We’ll need to get an ID as soon as possible to inform the family.” 

“I have a phone!!” Ilona heard the explanation from one of her co-workers. She turned with a grin on her face back to her boss. 

“We have a phone,” She repeated. “I’ll get right on it chef.” 

************************

Lydia still felt awful. She hadn’t quite shaken the existential dread that came with her almost career-ending mistake. She sat behind the desk at the nurses station just replaying the events back in her mind. How could she just assume someone to be someone’s emergency contact? 

In retrospect, Lydia now understood clear as daylight that relationships were interpersonal and held deeper value than what was on paper. Jake Seresin may not have been your emergency contact, but he sure was the love of your life. 

“You want me to do her observations?” Lydia heard one of her colleagues ask with a snicker. They all knew by this point in time what she had done. But now wasn’t the time to retreat and fall back. If she wanted to get past this, she needed to put on a brave face. 

“Nope,” Lydia shook her head as he rose to her feet. “I’ve got it,” She explained with a faux smile. “Is he not intimidating?” 

“Mr. Seresin?” Her colleague, Rebecca, replied with a mouthful of two-minute noodles she’d been scoffing down in the small window of reprieve. “Guy’s like a labrador. I mean, that is if you didn’t fuck up his wife’s chart badly enough to call the wrong person labelled clearly as an emergency contact.” 

“Ha. Ha.” Lydia barely had the time or the energy to humour her coworkers as they giggled and snickered as she made her way into your room. Jake was wide awake. He hadn’t noticed Lydia standing in the threshold of the door. But Lydia noticed how he held you with such care as you slept soundly. 

“Oh,” She cooed softly as she knocked her knuckles against the door. “Sorry to interrupt Mr. Seresin but I need to take some observations for Dr. Ignati.” 

“Would it be alright if she slept for even just five more minutes?” Jake was quick to advocate on your behalf. He could tell just how tired and overwhelmed with everything you’d become. Now that he was here and by your side, he was going to make sure you got the best possible treatment there was to offer. 

Lydia looked around at the Christmas lights that hung around your room. They twinkled and changed colour on a whim, never staying the same colour for long. The way they hung like they’d been thrown all over the place added a joyful smile across her face. 

“I’m sure I can take my time,” Lydia agreed as she approached your bedside. “How’s she been feeling?” 

“As good as you’d expect to feel given the circumstances, kid,” Jake replied with a yawn. He was able to stretch his limbs a little as he did so. Although, with every move he cautiously made, Jake was careful not to disturb you. “I assume her surgery is still going ahead as planned?” 

“As far as I’m aware,” Lydia confirmed as she checked over your chart and wrote down what she saw on your monitors. “Dr. Ignati should be around earlier in the morning to discuss everything once more.” 

“How long have you been working here?” Jake asked. He thought some small talk would be beneficial for not only him but for Lydia too. He could tell the question struck a nerve but pressed on nevertheless. “Because if I’m being perfectly honest, it doesn’t seem like very long.” 

“Eight months now,” Lydia replied with a short tone. Jake chuckled to himself as he watched her cross out what she had previously written and wrote down what she had originally intended. “Can you tell I’m also not very good at my job?” 

“It doesn’t seem out of ignorance,” Jake offered up his version of advice. “I just think you’re rushing things.” The advice didn’t fall on deaf ears like Jake thought it might. Instead, Lydia stopped what she was doing and took a nice deep long breath in. “In my line of work, things can go wrong in the blink of an eye,” Jake explained as he gently rubbed small circles into the palm of your hand with his thumb. If he was careful, he could feel the throbbing of your pulse point. “Gotta learn how to trust your instincts.” 

“My last instinct was that you were your wife’s emergency contact,” Lydia didn’t feel as if she needed to remind Jake of her biggest mistake of all time, but she did anyway. Jake understood what it was like to stay hung up on mistakes he couldn’t change. But he knew what he was about to say next would ease the burden Lydia was feeling. 

“Honestly, that’s more on me than it is on you,” Jake sighed as you stirred in his arms. He hoped you‘d stay asleep for just a little longer. You needed it. You deserved to rest soundly. 

“How so?” Lydia asked softly as went back to her duties. What Jake said to her next, however, had Lydia looking at the situation she found herself in from a different perspective. And sometimes a little perspective is all you need. 

“Well, I shouldn’t have let it get to a point where I wasn’t.” 

************************

Life gets easier when you realise that there’s no such thing as a wrong decision. Decisions are simply pivots. Each one you make will take you down a new road that will likely be both magic and miserable. Beautiful and ugly. That’s because life is a polarity. Easy doesn’t exist without hard. Good doesn’t exist without bad. 

There is no right or wrong answer. Trust that whatever decision you make can always be followed by another decision. 

“I hate this,” You mumbled as you walked to the bathroom with your IV support poll. “I already hate all of this so much.” You knew you were feeding into the depression, but you couldn’t help but feel down in the dumps about your current situation. 

“I think everything you’re feeling is valid, honey,” Jake answered as he trailed behind, giving you the independence he knew you wanted to keep but also staying close by in case you needed him. “After surgery–” Jake couldn’t even finish the sentence he’d planned to speak into existence.

“Don’t mention surgery,” You interrupted as you made your way over to the shower. “I don’t even wanna think about the surgery tomorrow.” 

“You do know that even if you ignore it, you still have to have surgery?” Jake asked as he frowned his brows and looked at you through the mirror. “We’re on the same page about that, right?” 

“What if I told you I’m just scared and don’t want anything to happen while I’m cut open like a fish?” You sassed as you looked back at Jake through the mirror. “If something happens–” 

“Hey, nothing's gonna happen,” Jake was quick to close the small gap between the two of you. He stood so close that your back pressed up against his chest. His eyes never left yours through the mirror you stood before. “I won’t let anything happen to you, or the kids for that matter.” 

“You left the kids with your mother,” You reminded your husband as he pressed his lips into a tight line of regret. “That alone is gonna cause them enough trauma Mr. ‘I won’t let anything happen to the kids’”

“You wound me, sweetheart,” Jake sighed as he tilted his head back and let out a sigh. “Besides, it’s actually you she hates, not the kids,” 

“Do you wanna help me shower or not?” You finally turned around to stand face-to-face with Jake. He was already smirking ear to ear. And it didn’t take long at all before his hands were dropping to your waist, slowly but surely making their slightly calloused way to the exposed skin of your ass. The hospital gown left little to the imagination. Jake wasn’t complaining. 

“When have I ever passed up the opportunity to see you naked?” Jake replied with a smirk you recognised was laced with lust. You felt him squeeze softly at your arse cheek playfully. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” 

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” You giggled as Jake made sure to count the staples on your head. He knew whatever came next would have to be soft. It would have to be gentle and full of love. Not that it ever wasn’t full of love. 

“You drive me crazy, honey,” Jake explained as he caught your lips with his. You couldn’t help but to melt into his body as you kissed him back. Jake’s hands kneaded at the handfuls of arse he never wanted to let go of as he moaned into your mouth. 

The feeling was electric. The moan your husband let out sent shivers down your spine. It was an animalistic attraction that you’d tried so hard to suppress in your separation. But no toy on earth could satisfy you like Jake could. Not even when they were bought with his money. 

“I love you so much,” Jake cooed as he pulled back just enough to let his forehead rest against yours. “You’re gonna get through this, I promise,” He left it at that as you wrapped your arms around his waist for a much-needed hug. 

When you let go, you took a moment to drink in the sight of your husband. You stared at all the perfect little imperfections that littered his skin. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than normal. That was to be expected though. 

“Jake?” You cooed as you reached up to swipe the pad of your thumb across his lower lip. 

“I’m right here,” Jake replied as he kept his eyes closed. If he opened them he knew the tears he was trying so desperately to keep in would fall. If he cried in front of you he'd never be able to stop himself. 

“I need you to wake up for me, alright?” 

“What did you say?” Jake frowned as he opened his eyes and looked at you all confused. He knew what you said. He heard it crystal clear. But he needed you to repeat it. He needed to hear you say it again, just once. The fluorescent bathroom light flickered as he stared at you. For a second…Jake stood alone in a hospital room he didn’t recognise. Only for him to find himself standing right before you again in the blink of an eye. “Honey?” 

“I said I need you to get my phone for me?” You repeated calmly. “My phone is ringing and if I try to race to it I won't get there in time.” The explanation fit the response you gave him. Jake thought for a moment there he was going crazy. He needed more sleep, that was without a doubt the answer to his second of madness. 

Jake silently nodded in agreement before he kissed your forehead. He was only gone for a few seconds before he returned with your phone. Still ringing. 

���Who is it?” You asked as you reached out to take your phone from Jake. By the look smeared across his face, it wasn't someone he necessarily liked. 

“It’s your boyfriend,” Jake teased as he handed you your phone. Based on that comment alone you knew it was Jensen. 

“Careful Seresin,” You teased lovingly, hoping Jake believed what you had told him earlier. “He might be my next husband if you don't play your cards right.” 

Jake knew you were kidding and if anything he deserved that comeback. He didn't like the guy, that much was true. But he could see how having someone who knew what it was like to not know your own body could be beneficial to the mind. 

“You caught me at a bad time,” Jake watched as you answered the phone and held it up to your ear. “I–oh,” You paused. The immediate worry that took over the expanse of your face was enough to have the little hairs on the back of Jake's neck standing on edge. 

“Jensen Huges–” The name hung heavy in the air around you as you listened to the woman on the other end of the line. According to her, there had been a small piece of paper tucked into the phone case of this particular phone at the scene of an accident. Your name. Your number. “Oh, no, no don't tell me that,” You begged. 

Jake was unable to hear what was being said in the silence, but as he watched your eyes well with tears, he knew. 

“Y/n, give me the phone, honey,” He whispered as he gestured to your phone. You shook your head in response as you continued to listen to the woman who had introduced herself as Ilona. A police officer with the Rhode Island police. “Sweetheart?” Jake cooed as he reached out for you. The second his fingertips grazed your shoulder…You fell. “Shit–” 

“NOOOOOOO!” The guttural scream you let out scared Jake to his very core. He’d never in his life heard you sound the way you did as you crumbled on the floor in the bathroom. “NOOOOOO!” 

“Baby, baby I'm here, what happened?” Jake asked softly as he cupped your face in his hands. Your phone was long forgotten. It had crashed down when you did. “Tell me what happened so I can help you, honey?” 

“He–he left me,” You managed to gasp out between sobs. “And I can’t–I can’t breathe, Jake, I ca–” 

“Hey, I’ve got you,” Jake promised you as he held you tightly in his arms. “It’s gonna be alright,” Jake seemed to have been in the business of making promises he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep. He had no fucking idea if things would be alright. But he needed them to be. 

“I can't do this without him,” You cried out in utter anguish. “He, he was the st-strongest,” Jake could tell where this was going as you struggled to speak through your grief-stricken sobs. “If he—then I,” 

“I’ve lost count of all the rooms you've been tall in Y/n,” It broke his heart to see you like this. So full of heartbreak. So full of hopelessness. “You gotta keep fighting, I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” 

“I don't know how to!” You admitted to not only yourself but to your husband as well. “I don't know how!” 

“I’m right here, honey,” Jake held you as tight as he could on the bathroom floor. “You don't have a choice,” He explained as you cried your heart out in a way Jake had never seen you cry before. He could hear your voice echoing in his head. 

“You need to wake up,”

“You need to wake up,”

“You need to wake up,”

“Don't give up on me now Y/n, I can't lose you to this alright?” Jake felt his own tears streaming down his cheeks. The tears he no longer had the strength to fight. The way you willed yourself to wake up from this nightmare you were living broke his heart into pieces. The tears he no longer had the strength to fight. “Please, you gotta keep fighting this.” 

“He was the stronger one,” You replied as you cried yourself into a ball in Jake's arms. Clutching at his arms as your nails dug into his forearms. Grief was a funny thing. “I can't–” 

“You have to,” Jake cried with you. He was losing the love of his life and there was nothing he could do to stop this nightmare from happening. “I’m gonna be right here every step.” 

“I just want you to wake up,” It was all you said. Jake knew he heard you that time. He heard you loud and clear… “Please, don't leave me,” 

But he had no idea what you were saying. 

**********************************

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@accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb @kmc1989

[herstuf]

I’ve just been thinking about Challengers so much lately and like the triangular theory of love I’m going insane thinking about it

Like the point is that without each corner the relationship lacks.

Tashi and Patrick had passion and commitment without intimacy.

Patrick and Art had intimacy and passion without commitment.

Tashi and Art had commitment and intimacy without passion.

The whole point of the movie is the triangular theory of love?!?!!!!! They are all a corner!!! It’s not about how manipulative Tashi was or Art was or Patrick was- the point is that on their own they’re not enough. They need the balance.

Tashi is commitment. Art is intimacy. Patrick is passion. A relationship with just two of three can last but is it enough? Are you fulfilled?

I dream about this movie and the way each of them is also a symbol for the growth and individual must go through to become the best version of themselves. Like we’re all a bit Tashi and bit Art a bit Patrick DO YOU UNDERSTAND

[imitationgame77]

What is Aromanticism???

Here on Tumblr, I see many posts mentioning aroace, aromantic, queer-platonic, etc., and I have been trying to understand, but still find it difficult.

If a person describes self as aromantic (= have no experience of romantic feelings towards others), this is fine. It is subjective definition, so must be respected.

But I don't know what it means when a relationship between two individuals is just described as aromantic, I don't know how to interpret that, unless there are more descriptions.

It is almost like dividing all the fruits into apple and non-apple. We can accept that it is NOT an apple, but then what is it?

Obviously, if we are talking about two individuals who can agree on their interpersonal relationship, that is fine. But when there is not necessarily agreement between the two participating individuals, how do the outsiders know?

Even more so, if these are fictional characters.

An American psychologist Robert Sternberg developed the famous "Triangular Theory of Love" in 1980s, where he characterised love between individuals with 3 factors: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. When these are combined you get 7 types of love. (Liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and non-love).

Generally, passion is interpreted as related to physical/sexual attraction.

So, if you see two individuals who seem to like each other a lot, but remove Passion from the picture, you are left with either "Liking" or "Companionate Love".

Companionate love is great for long-term relationship where the excitement is gone, but trust, caring feeling and understanding are still there. But I feel uncertain about calling ALL the GREAT relationships minus the Passion part as just "companionate". Something feels missing.

Why can we not call that excitement when you get to know someone and you just click? Instant chemistry, and you know that this person is going to be a great friend to you. Sometimes you can get infatuated with your new friend.

Friend or best friend are also good terms, but they don't encapusulate the specialness - some people have lots of best friends. (Or so they say.) Sometimes, there is a sense of exclusivity - resulting in jealousy when a third party comes along.

I wish there is a term to describe a relationship where two individuals care for each other greatly, can understand and accept each other with all the differences and irritating bits about each other, so special and valuable that do not want to lose each other, and gain greatest pleasure in each other's company above everything else.

I think it is possible to have this without sexual or physical attraction, can even have other friends or sexual relationships elsewhere. But this is THE most significant relationship that transcends everything else.

When people see some of these traits, we tend to think of them romantic. Even when we do not expect them to have relationships like lovers do. Because we see chemistry, bond, trust and everything that we desire. Maybe, the same brain areas that process very romantic things respond in a similar way.

I see this in Holmes and Watson (original), Sherlock and John (BBC Sherlock), House and Wilson (House, MD), Myron Bolitar and Win (Harlan Coben's Myron Bolitar series), and recently, Murderbot and ART. (That used to include Aziraphale and Crowley while their passion bit was subtext)

I don't imagine them in sexual or other physically intimate relationships, but the special bond between each of these pairs feels romantic. Because they are so special.

I need a simple word. Not a word meaning "not-something"...

[respectthepetty]

Plant Daddies - Episode 3

This isn't about colors. This is about the Triangular Theory of Love in Hidden Agenda, but it's like lasagna; it has layers. Tee, is this about Step by Step?!

I wrote about plant symbolism in Hidden Agenda in Plant Daddies at Tea Time:

Yellow Chrysanthemum, the tea Zo drinks, represents slighted or neglected love and the taste of its tea is sweet.

And Red Roselle, the juice Joke drinks, represents romantic love or passion and the taste of its juice is sour.

The boys stick to those drinks.

But this week they switched without any comment.

Also, Zo told two stories this week from his Legends of Love book:

Red Roses get their color from the blood of Adonis mixing with the tears of Aphrodite seeping into the ground which caused the roses to change from white to red.

Yellow Sunflowers exist because Clytie fell in love with the sun god, Apollo, so when he left her, she looked at the sun so long that she grew roots and turned into a sunflower.

Both stories deal with a person losing the person she loves. However, the roses story is about love being taken away, and the sunflower story is about love leaving. Also, Zo stated he would cry if he lost his love, while Joke stated he wouldn't leave that person in the first place.

Yet Nita's take on the story is to move on from the past and find someone else.

Once again, this isn't about colors, but we now have two separate occasions where plants/flowers are included in the narrative, and those items are color-coded yellow and red, which only adds to the way we are seeing those colors pop up in the show with a third color.

I mentioned in the Plant Daddies at Tea Time post that primary colors seem to be intentional in the show because this episode, the only colored clothing Joke handed Zo when they were shopping was yellow.

Yet by the end, Zo was in blue with his yellow backpack.

So what does this have to do with the Triangular Theory of Love?

Well, all things come in threes:

The Primary Colors:

Red

Yellow

Blue

These are the basic colors needed to make all other colors; therefore, all colors start from these three, and all colors stem from these three colors.

The Love Triangle:

Joke likes Zo.

Zo likes Nita.

Nita likes Joke?

Issue - We don't know if Nita does still have feelings for Joke because her response to the story seemed as if she would get over Joke.

The Dating Rules:

Rule #1 - Do not gawk at your love interest.

Rule #2 - Ease into it. Don't rush. Oh, AND CONSENT!

Rule #3 - Do whatever Joke says.

Rule #3 - Stay true to yourself starting with the first date.

Issue - Joke seems to have problems sticking to his own rules.

The Triangular Theory of Love:

"It breaks down love into three components."

Passion - Zo is passionate about pursuing Nita.

Intimacy - Joke tells Zo he must ask Nita out to build this.

Commitment - And once they begin to date, this will evolve.

Issue - Zo already notices his heart isn't fluttering around Nita the way he thought it would, yet his heart seems to be doing something around Joke, which is maybe why Joke continues to advise Zo to do some self-reflection and try new things.

Because just like Khai and Third in the correctly titled Theory of Love, this process isn't just for Zo, but Joke:

Passion - Joke is passionate about getting Zo by any means necessary.

Commitment - Joke is committed to this bit, he made Zo give him explicit promises (to work together, to help him get in the debate team), and he already stated he would be committed in a relationship during their story time.

Intimacy - This is what Joke is lacking, which is why he developed this huge scheme to get Zo to spend more time with him.

The Balance:

Is this a story about finding the middle ground between two extremes?

So far, we have a story about Joke, a passionate guy who drinks sour red roselle juice and openly admits to being aggressive about love like the thorns of a rose, trying to develop intimacy with a boy who drinks sweet yellow chrysanthemum tea and says he would just stare at what he can't have than go after it like a sunflower in order to show his commitment . . .

Then both of these boys need each other to find that balance between their two ways of loving.

Joke has launched in elaborate plan to get Zo while Zo was willing to admire Nita from a distance for the rest of his life. Zo can't just stare at his crush (Rule #1), and Joke can't rush into things (Rule #2), yet neither has been truly themself from the start to get the other person (Rule #3).

In order to make this work:

Joke needs to learn sweet intimacy.

And Zo needs to understand burning passion.

So they can find a balance and be able to commit to each other when the time comes.

And maybe that will help their friends find a good balance between the secrets they hide in the dark and the looks they give in the light.

And maybe even rethink how they see things so they can find new meaning in what has been in front of them the entire time.

Because that look was more than what Kot said. Right?

[brehaaorgana]

Sorry my reply will probably just be too long for a comment lol @itspeepytime

Basically I think like — yes, I agree basic art classes should teach the love of creation and the practice of just creating and such.

However, I would not frame something like "teaching the basic science of art mediums and pigments, or color theory" to be "rules" per se. Fundamentals of the skill, yes. Rules? No. These are tools. If you know your tools, you can use them to do all kinds of conventional and unconventional things, but you also know what is not physically possible.

Example:

I will never get green if I mix magenta and cyan. That's not a creativity-limiting rule, that's just a fundamental fact of color mixing. A limiting rule is "leaves should be painted green."

That's a limiting rule. It's a limit on how to paint leaves. How to approach something.

But "magenta and cyan don't make green," is a fundamental. They make purple. You can't change that fact.

You can, however, paint leaves using purple, dark blue, or red.

We admire Monet and the impressionists for their use of light and color, which may have gone against conventions of the time — but they all deeply cared about the fundamental science of light and color. And they were studying it and using fundamentals.

It's great to teach intro students how to enjoy making art, but it's not limiting to help them understand the tools they have at their disposal in orded to make art. "PB15 is a transparent pigment called phthalo blue" isn't a stifling rule, it's a fact. Likewise if I tell you the mass tone of pb15 is incredibly dark, meaning you reach maximum chroma with some dilution/mixing (regardless of the medium), that doesn't stifle creative choices, it just explains what the tool you're using does.

So I'm never surprised by how phthalo blue is going to mix in any given color mixing experiment because I know the mass tone is darker than the maximum chroma I can reach, and I know it's a transparent pigment so it will mix and layer differently from an opaque pigment.

It's like - when I was a TA for an intro art history course, I had some stem students who were taking the class for a gen ed, and they panicked at first because we didn't really spend any time teaching art fundamentals the textbook briefly introduces. So they had no foundation for what they were trying to do or the tools we had for talking about art history. They came to my office hours and I was like "okay let's back up. Before you try to figure out like, meaning of a painting or history, let's just figure out how composition works and how I know what it is, because that's a good building block."

And then I brought print outs of various paintings and starting drawing over them to show them how composition worked and what I was identifying, before having them try it too. Like foreground, mid ground, background. That's a fundamental. Triangular compositions. Rule of thirds. Stuff that helped them see how creativity works with tools, and isn't just all abstract feelings and pure whimsical talent or something. And then I said "great so now you know how we figure this part out, so what's the focus of the painting? What is the artist focusing on? Is there somewhere the composition is emphasizing, or downplaying? And why might that be done?"

Suddenly it was less terrifying to learn art history for them, because it had structures and a logic and tools you could learn, rather than being about innate creativity or artistry.

I had to give them a fundamental building block.

I can tell anyone "draw a person standing under a tree," but if they're like "well all I can do is this-"

There are tools I can give them to understand how someone achieves something else! I feel like an overemphasis on "there all no rules, and I just want you to enjoy it" can be just as much of a problem as an overemphasis on too many strict conventions! Especially since so many people (non-art majors) are intimidated by the idea that they "can't" do great art because they simply don't have the "talent" needed when they just "do" it. They get frustrated and don't understand why they can't see improvement.

An extreme either way is bad, but I think lately it's swung sooo far in favor of "art has no rules, so fundamentals are limiting." that it's kinda bad, because even the art majors aren't learning some basic things.

[seat-safety-switch]

When I was a kid, there was a really big electrical transmission pole in the park behind my house. Now, I'm not talking about one of those regular-ass residential wood poles. This sucker was huge, triangular, made entirely out of metal, and looked like an Eiffel Tower's pissed-off underemployed half-brother. Every day during the summer, we'd play beneath its humming majesty.

Now, you have to remember that I'm not an electrical engineer. All this talk of "phases," "voltages," and "not setting your cousin on fire" is just so much textbook theory to me. Human beings are really good at becoming used to things, even insanely dangerous things like the pole. It left us alone, so we left it (mostly) alone. Sure, we occasionally peed on it. We definitely chucked frisbees at it and guffawed, although those brave flying discs could never reach the height of the lines.

One day, though, everything changed. In late fall, a lot of weird shit happens with the lines. A freezing rain storm might blow through in the evening and jump the wires together. Usually, some megaburst of electricity would come through and blow the short off the lines, and life would resume. Not always, though. We were in school when it happened.

Perhaps you remember the day that the astronauts came to your school, told you about staying in class and not doing anything greater than or equal to Schedule II narcotics. Do you remember when they got into their Lifter Capsule and floated off into the stratosphere, on their way to visit the next school or maybe back to clock out for the day on moon colony One? I do, but those astronauts probably do not. All that shiny metal on their spaceman flying saucer must have really loved all that electricity. Match made in heaven, really.

My longest-enduring memory of the day was being angry that the news choppers weren't paying enough attention to the story to bother landing further away from the power lines when they came to film the smouldering wreckage. Adults should have known better, I told my classmates. Just goes to show you that people get used to danger way faster than you'd think.

[year2000electronics]

bill/gvrv is funny in theory but i think realistically gvrv could not STAND bill and bill would be trying to get on that old man's nerves. like "i'm not touching you" levels of Annoyance from bill whereas gvrv would be pondering nasty things to do to the Triangular Nuisance and seething in silent misery. they wouldn't toxic *yaoi* i think it'd be like two roommates who can't stand each other and are just doing everything in their power to tick each other off because they can't actually kill each other or possess each other at the moment. this is their get-along prison cell except it really isn't.

they’re so “horrible road trip comedy for dads” coded to me. both of them love being the one behind the strings too much that it’s incompatible to me you’re right. they’re the most frenemies of all time.

[minhyeong]

DOJAEJUNG + TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE !

[ doyoung ] empty love: commitment with the absence of passion and intimacy

There were days when the realization drew him in like a whirlpool, and he would sink into a kind of sadness that was forbidden to the touch. There were days where he sensed the nagging presence of an ache, but he would convince himself that all he needed to do was carefully shut it away. 

Today, however, Doyoung has come to terms with the fact that sometimes people stop being in love. Somewhere along the line, he built a pane of glass between you and him. As the time slipped by, the days became so alike that he didn’t even notice how you both grew up and grew out of each other. Sometimes, he still thinks he can see himself growing old with you, inexplicably in love until the end of time. 

Today, however, Doyoung has come to terms with the fact that you were always separate.

“I don’t even know what to say,” he admitted, his hoarse, low whispers drowned out by the late evening wind. His fingers twitched as he slid back into his seat as far as he could to put some distance between you and him.

It was a cold evening, the type of cold that reached your bones and made you want to pull him closer than ever.

But his words were beyond icy.

“I don’t know what would be fair to say to you after all this time.” He let out a hollow laugh that pained his lungs. “I think...” he trailed off, fumbling with his words as if he was trying to find the least painful way to hurt you. “I think I might be a horrible person.”

For a second, you believed him. Doyoung had left you with more scars than you could count. Then, you realized he had desperately held onto an emptiness that had fossilized long ago.

“I understand.” You kept your mouth pressed into a tight line, trying to pretend he couldn’t see you. 

The room was too still. The drum of your heart was heavy and unbearable and dragged you down. The possibility that you were his crippling affliction crawled its way up your throat until you choked.

Doyoung drew your attention back with a soft murmur, the guilt flitting across his features when your gazes locked.

“Thank you.” He fell silent again, chewing on the insides of his cheek, plagued by uncertainty. Finally, he expelled a shuddering breath that left a fleeting, misty cloud. “I’m sorry.” 

You watched him through the pane of glass, and a strange feeling settled somewhere deep in the pit of your stomach, like the world was closing in again. 

“It was a privilege to love you.” He smiled half-heartedly, and you realized that his eyes had turned dull and dreary with time. Perhaps you’ve always noticed but simply didn’t want to come to terms with the impending end.

Today, however, Doyoung has.

So you forced yourself to turn away, forgetting how to cry.

I wish I still had the privilege to love you, you wanted to say, but Doyoung was already light years away.

[ jaehyun ] romantic love: passion and intimacy with the absence of commitment

There was no right or wrong way to fall for someone. You couldn’t recall the exact point in time that defined the very moment your feelings for Jaehyun shifted beyond platonic. It was all subtle until it turned you into a nervous wreck around him.

But you were bad at having crushes, so you spent all your time convincing yourself that your heart wasn’t moments away from leaping right out of your rib cage whenever he was around. 

The biggest problem was: he was always around. It was impossible to figure out whether you had forced your way into his routine or the other way around, but you had become so comfortable with his presence that it scared you. 

“People keep on thinking we’re dating,” you muttered, mindlessly scrolling through your phone as you sprawled your limbs across the entire couch.

Jaehyun laughed, not even sparing you a glance from where he sat cross-legged on the ground with his back against the couch. He fixed the cushion that almost slipped entirely off his lap until it was tucked under his elbows again. “What’s wrong with that?”

“What do you mean?” You peered at the back of his head incredulously, shooting him a look of utter disbelief. “I still want to find someone and fall in love, and you’re definitely scaring everyone away.” 

You didn’t catch how he suddenly became mildly irritated. His jaw clenched, shoulders going rigid. Then, he sharply exhaled before composing himself. “Didn’t you just go on a date a few weeks ago? With that guy who didn’t even have enough sincerity to bring you out to a restaurant?”

“That’s not true,” you refuted, tone softening as your confidence gradually vanished. “Remember how he made that romantic dinner for me?” 

“He microwaved you pizza.” 

You sneered at him. Even without looking back, Jaehyun sensed the slow uncoiling of annoyance and defeat as you went quiet. 

A tense silence clung to the air. His features contorted into a grimace as he contemplated his options before he finally raised to his feet. “Move your legs for a second,” he mumbled, slinking into the gap between your suspended legs and the couch. With splayed fingers on your knees, he lowered your legs down again until they settled on top of his lap. 

“If you want to fall for someone, can’t you just fall for me?” 

You were taken aback, mind short-circuiting, furrowing your brows in confusion at what that could imply. The phone nearly slipped out of your clutch when you strained your neck up to question him just to find him already looking at you. It was unnerving. The inexplicable emotions that were set ablaze suddenly terrified you. 

You wished he didn’t look at you as if he liked you back.

There was no right or wrong way to fall for someone. The bold comment undeniably changed your perspective on the relationship and sent you tumbling head first. 

But you were bad at having crushes, so you reacted instinctively and coiled back. You coughed out a strained, choppy laugh, frantically ripping away from his touch as you swung your legs off his lap. The waver in your voice and the red that permeated your cheeks in seconds weren’t helping. 

You were bad at having crushes, and Jaehyun felt a lot like free falling with nothing to hold you back from gracelessly plummeting.

But maybe someone will catch you for once. 

“I already did.” 

[ jungwoo ] infatuated love: passion with the absence of intimacy and commitment

Love at first sight was cliche. You were not normally impulsive enough to play that game, always guarding yourself because you found more safety in a love that burned slow and bright and took time.

But when you sat around the table littered with a pile of half emptied bottles and toppled over solo cups, sandwiched between your group of intoxicated friends who could barely control the trajectory of their limbs yet insisted on playing a round of truth or dare, you thought maybe taking a risk wasn’t so bad for once. 

“I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into the room.”

You scoffed, waving a hand in disapproval. “That’s getting old. I'm not kissing anyone.”

And you were adamant despite all the booing you received, but all of it crumbled like sand defending itself against the waves when Jungwoo walked in. 

The flickering lights danced across his features, and you couldn’t help but stare through your slightly hazy vision, wondering if you were still in the right plane of reality. The soft flutters in your chest escalated into irregular palpitations. You had to blink a little extra harder to ground yourself. 

You couldn’t quite put your finger on what made him different from everyone else. Perhaps the music that reverberated around your head was messing with your ability to think straight, or the alcohol in your system made you a little more reckless. 

But it was impossible to look away now that you’ve seen him. 

"Okay, I'll do it,” you muttered, shrugging as nonchalantly as you could possibly feign. “I mean, rules are rules.”

Jungwoo was already focused on a conversation by the time you gathered enough courage to cross the room and past all the bodies to get to him. There was a sweet, slightly pungent smell of sandalwood and violet as you approached him. 

Love at first sight was cliche, but perhaps the butterflies that people described were real. 

Being struck by his looks was only a small fraction of what you felt. All you knew was the sudden wave of an unfamiliar feeling was utterly frightening. You almost wanted to pivot on your heels and sprint in the opposite direction when he noticed your presence and turned his body toward you. The scent of his perfume invaded all your senses until your head felt weightless. 

“Hi,” he chirped, gently tilting his head to the side, gazing at you as if he had known you all his life.

Your heart lurched a little, all words knocked right out of your mouth as your chest thumped along with the boosted bass. When you eventually allowed yourself to meet his eyes and trace the outline of his face, you threw all caution to the wind, helplessly hypnotized by his tender smile.

It took every ounce of you to not kiss him.

Love at first sight was cliche, and while you couldn’t quite say you were in love with Jungwoo yet, you wanted to be.

[plusvanity]

Would you say that people like Varg & Faust are truly, honestly capable of forming genuine connection with people? They are both married and have children for example, but let's take a look at Varg: recently he began to 'create a wall' between his wife and him, trying to find small flaws and/or draw differences that seem harmless but very clearly will become more and more specific with time (this time it was about their respective tidiness); or for example saying how his family is happy and attaching only a picture of his children and him in front of a car but no 'happy' wife in the picture.

This is one of the most thought-provoking questions I've been asked.

It's absolutely impossible to qualify or calculate the capability of loving and there is a different definition for all of the love types out there.

To refer to 'love' more concretely, I will take Sternberg's triangular love theory and try to apply this to these individuals.

I already talked about how I see Varg and Marie's marriage and what type of love they possibly experience here: https://www.tumblr.com/plusvanity/760583588308746240/hii-any-thoughts-on-varg-and-maries-marriage?source=share

And I highly suggest you read this for a wider insight.

But to sum it up, contrary to popular beliefs, narcissists can be indeed capable of experiencing love, but they do it in a certain way. People with ASPD are less probably to experience standard love because of their inability to emotionally connect. However, this doesn't mean that they cannot have marriages and kids. From what I've read about ASPD, their love comes in the form of respect for their partner, rather than that overwhelming feeling of infatuation. They happen to meet someone who checks for all the boxes in their head and they see those people as valuable, worth or respect and worth of building something together, so to speak. It's more of a rational than emotional decision. I hope I can make myself clearer.

Narcissists, on the other hand, are able to experience the emotional attachment, colloquially known as a 'deeper' type of love, but they are limited by their own narcissistic/ egocentric nature.

I don't know anything about Faust's marriage and personal life so I won't waste time trying to speculate on this when I have Vikernes who's so obvious in how he feels in his own marriage.

Initially, I thought that Varg reached 'Consummate Love' with Marie, that one in which intimacy, passion and commitment are altogether present. But as time progresses and according to his latest Tweets, he seems to lose the 'passion' component of his relationship. This is something that sometimes happen in long lasting marriages, and then you are left only with commitment and intimacy. This is called 'Companionate Love'.

When it comes to narcissists, one of their biggest issues is their tendency to get easily bored. When they have all they want from their partner (admiration, narcissistic supply, kinky sex, etc), they get bored and they start directing their attention to something new. This is also what people with ASPD experience.

Loving a narcissist is not hard, but keeping a narcissist entertained it is much harder.

I have no doubt that Marie loves him deeply, and so his children do because they don't have any other reference for how a father figure should be like, but the love that Varg gives back is unfortunately not the equivalent of what his family deserves. And this is not because he's doing it on purpose, this is because his narcissistic condition forces him to 'love himself more than anybody else'. It's a coping mechanism. You end up having NPD when you're not loved as a child or when the love you receive is shallow. After all, we give back what we receive in your life.

Because of his narcissistic nature, that he can't control, he ends up slowly 'pulling away' from the family/ the nucleus that he created. It's a painful process that happens in the background of your mind. You see yourself as being 'better than anyone else', even better than those you love and you can't help it, it's a mental illness. I don't try to make Vikernes seem less of an asshole, I try to explain how this works because I myself struggle with the same issue sometimes. The urge to 'seem better' comes in waves, sometimes it stays with you forever. I can tell you for certain that he counts his wife's mistakes, not to make a big deal about it necessarily, but to keep a personal score.

The love that comes from a narcissist can be mean sometimes because of their trivial tendency to put themselves above others. Those pictures on Twitter with Varg and Marie's desks compared denotes a teasing remark, it hides (but not really) the fact that he's better than her. As a side note: he's also a huge misogynist, but this discussion is for another time.

You are very right about these minuscule examples, but the devil is the details.

Narcissists are absolutely terrified of intimacy and they see people on a hierarchy. Either above them (and they have to get there) or below them (peasants), almost never on the same level with them.

A marriage with a narcissist who has no clue what he does wrong (like Vikernes) is in many ways a failed and unhappy marriage. Things can only be functional if a narcissist is self-aware of his condition and willing to change. Needless to say, this is more rare than the chance you will see a lion in real life.

In theory, NPD people are more likely to develop genuine connections, but they rarely do. It's not their fault, it's the condition itself.

Varg is bored and unhappy because he obtained everything he wanted and he wants more and more. I feel bad for those children for many reasons that I explained in other asks, but it is what it is.

To give back love, you should feel it first and if you never/ barely did, it's very, very hard to give your partner what they deserve. To end with a bit of a positive note, there is hope for narcissists only if they are willing to work on themselves. I can tell from experience.

[slayerkitty]

On Hidden Agenda And if the Agenda is Really Hidden

Otherwise known as @respectthepetty and I watched episode 11, looked at each other, scratched our heads and pulled the clown car over to the side of the road. Episode 11 was not the traditional "BL Episode of Doom" it usually is in most BLs. Some BLs do purposefully subvert this trope or move the episode of doom to episode 10 instead.

It didn't feel like that was what happened here. So we hopped out of the clown car, whipped out our phones to check our maps and directions, because we were very, very confused. We were so sure we had the show figured out! And...no?

So we decided to backtrack; turn the clown car around and start the trip again from the start. To take this week and re-watch Hidden Agenda from the beginning and figure out what the hell we missed.

We also took a detour into source material territory (aka looked up a summary about the book) which was no help to the current situation, because @respectthepetty discovered that JengPok, Nita's stalker, Puen, and Wave x Trin weren't even in it! The only thing we were able to confirm with it is that it's from Joke's POV, he's unhinged in it, and Zo spends most of it dating Nita.

With all this in mind, I sat down with episode 1 of Hidden Agenda in hopes that I would discover anything that we might have missed. I also have slowly cultivated two theories that as of episode 6 still hold up though I don't know how much weight I want to give the second one (but I also can't let it go).

Before I delve into the theories, I do want to point out a couple things that I have noticed.

Zo is super intense about debate club, NOVA, and the Finland scholarship from episode 1. His coaching of Joke in episode 2 rivals his mother's coaching of him in episode 10. If someone who makes gifs could make a gif set that parallels those two scenes, I would be eternally grateful; it will blow your mind. Zo's issues with disappointing his mom are also there from episode one, but they are super subtle. He doesn't want Kot to tag him in his IG story because his mom might see him at the bar drinking. He mentions in I think either episode 2 or 3 that his mom hasn't visited in a while because she's been busy and the way he says it is so... ugh, he needs a hug.

Zo's trauma from Puen's horrible treatment of him is also evident from episode 1 as well; he is constantly saying that he doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, that he's worried he's upsetting people, etc. It's constant. Seriously, someone hug Zo.

Theory 1: Joke did something bad/something bad happened to someone he cared about (probably in high school and appears to have gotten therapy about it based on how he speaks)

Episode 1:

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, while Joke is scolding(?) Zo, he says, "What you said on that stage won't change a broken system."

Episode 2:

Joke tells Zo, "My tongue gets me in trouble."

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Episode 3:

Joke says "Before you get to know someone, you need to know yourself."

Joke also asks/tells Zo to trust him for the first time.

Joke talks about the Triangular Theory of Love: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment

Joke is pretty worried when Zo crashes his bike and makes Zo ride with him instead.

Joke mentions that he used to go to the restaurant Zo picked out with his dad, back when they used to go out to eat; this suggests a distance between him and his dad.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip as if he's afraid if Zo leaves without him, something bad will happen.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

Joke is afraid of the glass bridge but he's also to worried to let Zo go out on the bridge by himself.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Kot doesn't seem to like Joke and extremely overreacts to the way Joke trying to get Zo to eat the food he bought. Now, Joke was maybe a little pushy, but Kot goes off the handle.

When cuddling in bed, Joke says "hugging for 30s releases Oxytocin" and if they hug longer, "it means we feel the same."

Theory 2: Joke is a stalker

Yeah, you read that right. There is ample evidence throughout the first 6 episodes that on first watch, didn't quite ring alarm bells, but on re-watch, are setting off sirens. I kinda had this as a crack theory in the back of my head after episode 8 first aired, but now it's staring me in the face and feels a lot less crack-y

Episode 1:

Joke eavesdrops on Zo recording his podcast

Joke is super intense when speaking to Zo at the studio and manhandles him a little so that Joke can sort of pin him against the wall.

Joke eavesdrops on Zo and friends on the bus and then approaches him after to give advice on Nita

Joke asks Zo if the iced coffee is for Zo and says it's not because "Zo doesn't like coffee."

Joke always seems to be around when Zo is trying to approach Nita.

Joke confesses that he has a crush before singing a song.

When Zo tries to leave the bathroom after getting sick, Joke actively won't let him, grabbing him roughly and holding him in place.

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, Zo asks Joke why he won't quit if he hates it and Joke says he has his reasons.

At the studio, Joke says "I love you and you love me" in Chinese and proceeds to do what has been touted as an "erotic wedding based tradition" with drinking the Roselle juice.

Episode 2:

Joke starts pushing boundaries with food

Joke and Zo make a deal to help Zo with Nita.

Joke has a fantasy of Zo winning and them kissing.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again

Joke admits to Zo he has a crush on someone.

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Joke ties Zo's shoe

Joke says he's already started helping Zo with Nita, but has he?

Episode 3:

Joke basically milks all the situations with Zo in his favor under the guise of helping Zo with Nita

Joke admits he listens to Zo's podcast because it helps him sleep.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke insists on driving Zo home despite Zo's protests.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip really insistently and hugs Zo excitedly when Zo agrees.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 4:

Joke knows how long it's been since Zo changed his profile pic.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 5:

Joke confronts Zo for trying to avoid him and wanting to forget their kiss. Joke is incredibly aggressive and spills his drink on Zo as a result.

Joke continues to message Zo that Zo is avoiding him and that he's going to come over. Zo says not to. Joke does anyway.

Joke gets himself invited to dinner with Zo and his mom.

Joke makes a move while doing dishes and tells Zo he wants to know how Zo feels.

Joke says "why would you hurt me and tell me to forget?" and "you never care about my feelings."

Joke also says "don't run away from me," and "don't avoid me."

Joke confesses through tongue twister.

Joke remembers that Zo hates stink beans.

Joke tells Zo "I would do anything for you," and "I like you Zo, I want to show you that you like me, too."

Asks Zo to let Joke pursue him.

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again and then fights with Kot.

Zo tells Joke he needs to respect boundaries.

Joke oversteps boundaries again in at debate club.

Joke pushes Zo again for an answer on his feelings; Joke says he "will always wait" for Zo.

Joke also insists that Zo was into him all along and not Nita.

Joke watches Zo at the debate open house and gets jealous.

Joke wants Zo to stay over; he pushes Zo again for an answer to his feelings. When Zo wants to go shower, Joke grabs his arm and stop him, saying that he won't let Zo run away.

Joke gives Zo the arcade t-shirt and when Zo says he doesn't know the significance, Joke tells Zo to take it off. Joke then takes his own shirt off and refuses to put it back on.

Joke asks to hold Zo and Zo doesn't answer, just rolls over onto his side away from Joke. Joke says "silence means yes" (and in this case it did but OH MY GOD) and proceeds to cuddle Zo.

As I go through my re-watch, I'll add more to both theories but as of episode 6, they both hold up. I can't decide of Joke himself actually did (insert bad thing here) to someone, or just knew someone that (insert bad thing here) happened to. Joke being a stalker wasn't that evident at first, but it is now! At a minimum, Joke is obsessive, posessive and overly clingy.

Also, these theories can both be true! They don't contradict each other in any way. Stay tuned for Part 2, probably... Friday or Saturday.

[emblematicemblazer]

World building and theories of Engage

Celine

Céline, is a French female first name of Latin origin, coming from Caelīna, the feminine form of the Roman cognomen Caelīnus, meaning 'heavenly'.

Saint Celine was the patron saint of music. She gave birth at an advanced age and after the birth she gave sight to a hermit. Her life was full of good works and prayer. Saint Celine's healing ability, piousness, good works and the reference to a long life relate to Céline

Céline could also be a reference to the luxury brand of the same name.

Celine's fashion is inspired by rococo. The decorative use of lace, ruffles, gems, ribbons, touching and flowers to embellish gowns was a key feature of the style.  She wears what is known as Robe a la Francaise whose key features are: a defined waist, richly decorated mantle, a skirt and a triangular stomacher. These are decorated with quillings, lace and bows. The neckline is low and decorated with lace. The rectangular shape of her skirt is an iconic silhouette of rococo. Pannier's created the shade with hoops flattened into an ovoid shade. The outrageous width ensures she takes up more space than a man to signify the importance of women and to make the waist look tiny. 

The black lace with by the three royals could be a reference to them mourning the death of the king, her father, who died from the plague.

At each side of her crown are butterflies.They are symbols of nature and freedom. In the bible God takes a caterpillar and changes it into a butterfly just like he transforms sinners into saints. Celine may have to do things that harden her heart but the Divine Dragon will ensure she remains a butterfly. 

Celine's royal crown is full of flowers which I believe was inspired by The Crown of Louis XV of France which has a floral dome in the centre embellished with gemstones.

The gold and green colour scheme is in traditional rococo pastel shades and demonstrates her royal status and love of nature. 

[january-summers]

Just reminded of that time I wrote a short fic where one of the leads was not only asexual, but on the sex-repulsed end of the 'asexual sexual interest' scale. (Though it took them time to work out that's what was up with them, because they liked the kissing part, and the cuddling part and the having a partner part.)

The happy ending of the fic was when the character who was asexual, LS, walked in on their partner, KJ, masturbating, and KJ basically said "just because I get horny doesn't mean you have to give me sex, especially since I know you don't like it. Having sex with you doesn't matter to me, being with you as partners matters to me. I can handle my horny myself :D"

And LS finally got someone who loved them but didn't make them feel like they had to exchange sex to deserve that love and all was well.

And then people on that fandom's discord were like:

"Okay but they should have sex, LS should feel safe to have the sex now that their dislike of sex is validated, so they should reward KJ with sex. The asexual should have sex for a change."

and the weirdest part to me was that was something another aspec person said to me. Because I always see that in fics, (on the very rare occasion I see an asexual character and their sexuality gets screentime) asexual character's asexuality is 'validated' and they immediately start having sex... unless the character is fat. (iykyk)

Except I had struggled with whether or not they should have sex, because I felt like maybe I (an aspec person) had to send the 'right' message about asexuality and how some asexuals do have sex, and that's okay they're still asexual.

But I exist on a sliding scale of asexuallity and my sex repulsed side deserved some love, so that won out.

The scale (for me) is triangular btw, the three points are 1. (theory only) interest 2. repulsion 3. oh shit i forgot sex was even a thing (and not something people made up for fanfic reasons because I just don't think about it.)

[papirouge]

There’s something about every alpha masculinity account that screams “fed” to me. I really think these account are fake and ran by the fbi to monitor men online and who would be likely to commit mass violence. Other times it’s bots.

But really, look at how they cry about how men are gods on earth for women to forcibly worship them (idolatry God will strike down every man who calls himself the lord) and the need to protect children from leftist but will welcome Kevin spacey and man who preyed upon children openly all because they don’t believe in “cancel culture” unless it’s them. This is such a insidious agenda happening and it requires a lot of attention from Christians to avoid this.

That's an interesting theory

I also heart the one saying that the incel movement was incepted by old scrote trying to make younger men look as stupid & insane as possible so that women of their age be repulsed by them and instead consider dating older men on the basis they won't be as unhinged. It would make sense if older redpiller weren't as much demented as the younger ones. And it's not like they were good concealing their "opinions" those scrote are unable to have a normam conversation with a women not involving sex, breeding, female's "role" or some other redpill bs

These old scrote are much more cunning and calculating than they will admit. Andrew Tate proudly admits he has no issue lying and deceptive tactics with the girls he's trafficking so why his fans think he wouldn't do the same to them? 🤔

Now to come back to your theory, I definitely think the redpill movement is indeed a psy-op to divide society. What irks me so bad is that so called 'free thinker' media wil have no issue seeing this when it comes to race, and call the BLM movement "divisive" and breeding hate among society, but will say absolutely nothing about redpiller and their visceral hate against women. I'm thinking about Vigilant Citizen especially.. it's been a while I realized dude was shady but I realized he was definitely full of shit when he made an entire article to dunk on Barbie and its feminist propaganda that will destroy society🙄 (btw I didn't forget he never approved my comment on that article calling him out lmao Mind you, he's one of those whiny people asking for more fReEdoM oF sPeEch/truthers are cEnsOreD, but is unable to apply that freedom of speech on his own website🤡). Meanwhile he has yet to address the redpill movement and the well documented femicide attacks/shootings perpetuated by men who explicitly expressed their hatred against women. Is that enough to finally call the redpiller/mra movement "divisive" too?

VC loves making articles pointing out the occult symbolism anywhere he can, so...why didn't he say shit about Andrew Tate Russian guru who happens to be a black warlock? Or Tate xitter handle being COBRA Tate? If you look into it, dude has whole thing going on with snakes... What about his weird triangular hand symbol too. VC would've a field day making an article developing the theory that Tate is actually a plant seeking to breed chaos and gender wars - it would have made a lot of sense bc there's a lot of shady shit going on with Tate and how he's being wk'ed by the Conservative right when he's a British pimp living in Romania. Also wasn't his dad CIA? Reaaal shady shit going on... But VC won't cover that shit bc he's of his bias.. but don't worry he'll make a 567th article about celebrities hiding one eye and the awful LBGT+ propaganda because lf *checks notes* rainbow on a note book🙃

You'd think the way these people talk about feminism women were out there turning society upside down, hounding & harassing men....but nope. IDK for being so dangerous & radical, feminists seem to be very quiet 🤔 there's a reason those men have to look into movies and video games to claim oppression. The so called oppression they get from women doesn't translate IRL.

[dojae-huh]

Perfume MV behind

This bts is not only interesting in general (outside locations, no solo talks "we hope you'll like it"), but it shows the members and the relationships in a way we seldom see.

Doyoung is very collected during filming, he doesn't waste time of the filming crew with "oh, I'm shy" and giggles, he quickly understands what is wanted form him. The scene under the sheet was shot very quickly, for example.

Jungwoo laughs when he tries to act (triangular theory of love bts), however, he is fast to switch into performing a dance, posing for the camera. 8:32

Jungwoo also seems to be more happy with the unit, than I expected (the need to deal with JaeDo and Jae). Perhaps, it's because he gets to feel more confident. No label of the late addition, no fear of letting others down, no pressure to not be unnoticed. He also stopped fighting Do for dominance and listens to him well now.

4:42 - Doyoung pestering the choreographer wanting to change a part in the choreo. Very him.

Throughout the bts there are many moments of Jae stopping Woo's "advances". 6:13, 8:28, 10:08, 20:35, 20:40

7:52 - the brightest smiles from Jae Woo gets is when Jae laughs at something Woo did wrong, when it's time to mock, heh.

9:20 - this dance before Do was reposted by shippers a lot. The moment at 9:30 (Woo clapping to attract Jae's attention) shows well how Jae gets focused on Do and ignores others.

9:25 - Do hearing and replying to the director. As usual, his role is to be vigilant on stage and manage others.

9:30 - Wasn't as quick to reply this time, was busy smiling and watching Jae, heh.

9:36 - Jaehyun not stopping his action of placing his hand on Do's shoulder despite Woo's hand being already there. Woo pulled back.

9:40 - Jae giving pats on the butt to both Do and Woo

10:33 - the best thing about this moment is how deliberately Jae went around Woo to target Do. He also made sure to grab securely.

18:58 - it shows how comfortable Do is with the staff around now that he can announce his plans to pick up Jae like that

19:24 - Jaehyun not knowing the script. This and the story about not bringing in spare underwear says they weren't told what they were going to film beforehand at all.

19:36 - All those stories about Doyoung wanting a personal driver and sitting on the back sit - a lie.

20:44 - Jae fooling around by the end of the long day because his patience for adulting ran out, heh

22:02 - ૮⍝• ᴥ •⍝ა

22:15 - despite complaining about cliche, Jae quickly extended his hand out to finish Do's idea after DoWoo's "argument"

[innerfeather]

Bikinis and body types

Buying swimwear has always been a drama for me. First you go to the store: you don’t like any of the bikinis they have, either because of the pattern, the shape of because they are just very expensive. You finally find a cute one, but there are none for your size. After half an hour, you decide to try some in the fitting room. You don’t care about if you really like them or not, you are just fed up. The fitting room is either dark or very bright. In either case it is too warm to be comfortable, and the floor is full of dirt. After undressing, you try to put on the first bikini. The top is too big for you, but there were no smaller sizes. The matching panties are OK, but you find them too revealing as your only body part that is feeling some breeze right now is your booty. So far, it overcomes all the expectations, so you leave it on the ‘maybe’ pile. You decide to try another one: the panties are too tight, to the point that you are half immobilized. You try the matching top and, of course, get completely tangled with the straps. There you are, sweating, standing on grime, paralyzed and helpless. When you finally finish in the fitting room, after expending all morning there, your self-confidence has dropped, and you are leaving the shop with an expensive bikini that doesn’t even fit you. Isn’t this the definition of success?

After so many summers going through this nightmare, I have come to learn that my problem is that I don’t know what I am looking for. Mostly I have pinpointed three reasons:

I get easily distracted by cute prints, even if they are kind of tacky when I put them on.

I don’t know what options do I have: what types of panties are there? What tops are comfortable, and which are for modelling?

What bathsuits actually make me look good?

The first problem could be solved if I had a clearer idea of what I am looking for… I guess. Regarding the second problem, I have come to realize this:

Panties can be average, very revealing or really reeeeaaaally revealing. I prefer not too revealing underwear, as I don’t feel comfortable being that nude especially in environments were I feel judged. Fold over, or high waist, are a good option to hide some belly but I don’t think it really suits me, as it turns out as a big diaper… Maybe for other people it is not the case.

Tops are similar to T-shirt necklines: there are asymmetrical, halter, with thick or spaghetti stripes, round or triangular cups. There are some that even look like a cropped top and show no cleavage at all.

And regarding the third issue, the answer I found is somehow tedious: to try on as many bikinis as I can to see what really makes me shine. In an exercise of mindfulness and body positivity, you have to go to the store and try them on, even as the traumatizing nightmare it is. One tip to make it less painful is the following: don’t go with your mother, or your judg-y friend. Go with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It is not like you want to avoid the harsh truth of your mother, the point is that a people that admires you (or is turned on by you), will teach you that your body is beautiful. That you don’t need to hide your tummy, that it is okay to have orange-peel skin, that your love-handles are lovable. This experience was what made my fitting room trauma less of a trauma and more of an empowering moment.

But talking about body types, the classic style theories aim to balance the shapes into an hourglass. Regarding bikinis, it is a path worth trying, in particular if you have no clue about what suits you. At the end I advocate that you should wear what makes you happy, but when there is no joy at all in the search of a bathsuit, a tip or two about what to try on is more than welcome. So here is a compilation of advice I found in several shop blogs and web sites.

For triangle shaped bodies, also known as pear, or spoon, you should try to highlight the upper part of the body. An option is a printed or colorful pattern, or you can as well use a strapless bra to show your shoulders. To distract the attention from your booty (in case you would ever want to do that) you can use solid colors.

For inverted triangle bodies, the body shape can be balanced drawing the focus into the bottom part of the body, using bright-colored panties and ruffles or fringes. You can also se asymmetrical tops to break your shoulder line.

For rectangle body types, you are invited to wear excentric patterns and prints to give shape to your body. You can look for printed tops with ruffles to give volume to your bust. You can also wear triangle cups. To make your hips look curvier, you can try low waist panties with adjustable straps or fringes.

For hourglass shapes, most sources just say, ‘anything will look good on you’, and give none to little advise further than that. This statement is deeply based in the conception that all the other women should try to achieve this shape and that is it. One reached, there is nothing else to do. But I do think that there are many hourglass queens that have no clue about what bikini to choose, and they also deserve some tips. The best advice I’ve read comes from Hunkermöller, a Dutch lingerie shop, that addresses that though you can wear whatever, you should really try a halter top and ensure that you have enough bra support by choosing the correct size. You may need an underwired bra. It also advise to go for solid colors, so there are no distractions from your natural gorgeous body shape.

I must disclaim that many of the websites also consider a fifth body type, round or apple. I do not include this because I don’t think this shape can actually happen in a woman body, unless the pregnant women, that for obvious reasons will have a waist wider that the hips and bust, or very old ladies that tend to have very skinny legs. In general I have the feeling (totally subjective opinion) that most shops and websites tend to ignore the plus-size women bodies: it is not just that there are no sizes higher than XL, it just feels as if they categorize all plus-size in the same bag and don’t attend to their specific needs. Anyhow, if you feel I should also include the round shape in consideration please let me know.

I’d like to add that if you want to improve your wardrobe you can also rely on color theory, which is an issue that I will further explore. In summary it tries to explain what colors suit you better based on your undertone and color intensity of your features. For example, it is not new that pale green won’t ever suit me, as it will make me look sick. I hope you liked this post. Summertime may be a difficult time for some of us, and if this helped you in some way to be more confident or learn something, I am more than happy.