#I do like the triangular theory of love

[dribs-and-drabbles]

This was going to be a post only about shoes as a gift for @respectthepetty...but then Pet made this post about graphic designers understanding the assignment and my thoughts started spiralling. I'll come back to the title cards and colour-coding later...but first, SHOES!

If you've been following me for a while, you'll know I pretty much lose it when I see a Thai character wearing the Mustard yellow-soled shoes (I really need to buy myself a pair). It started with Pat, Pran, and Pa in Bad Buddy...

...but the shoes have also been worn by Win and Lin (in Cupid's Last Wish), Tinn and Gun (Our Skyy 2 x My School President), Jeng (Step By Step), and most recently, Zo in Hidden Agenda.

But this isn't the point of the post. No.

My gift to Pet is my recent discovery that Joke in Hidden Agenda has shoes with BLUE soles.

I have yet to find them online but I haven't given up yet. I mean, look at them (I need a pair of these as well):

I had noticed the little pop of red on the heel during the airing of the show and thought it was a nice little nod to the red and yellow theme, but the discovery of the blue and Pet's insightful post I mentioned earlier has got me questioning.

Because I know the red and yellow theme was emphasised with the roselle and chrysanthemum juices, and the stories of the red roses and yellow sunflowers...and I know Pet has already written an outstanding analysis of the use of these two colours plus the blue and how they connect to the triangular theory of love...BUT I can't help looking at this

and wonder if this graphic designer also really understood the assignment.

Like, really understood

Really

Definitely

Understood

Because despite the red, I wonder if we do have singular colour-coded characters, with Joke being a loyal blue boy and Zo a yellow yal.

On Zo's practice date, he's painting in yellow with the yellow water in front of him but Joke has blue water in front of him despite painting green (in their play-fighting Joke threatens to throw the blue water over Zo). Joke also wipes the green on his face - a combination of these two colours.

After the date-that's-not-a-date, Zo decides to leave for a few days and takes both these colours with him (and, he soon accepts, Joke as well).

And when they meet Uncle Yod the hotel owner he's wearing their merged colours.

To Joke, Zo's face looks like the sun. He feels comfortable and warm around him. Zo thinks Joke should learn to generate that warmth for himself. Warm and cold.

Zo struggles with Joke's sincerity (just like they struggle to get the blue bus moving), even whilst wearing the blue shirt (with the yellow detail below the collar).

And even though Zo wears red once (and pink a few times), he wears blue several times. (I don't think I remember seeing Joke in red at all). And we get a colour exchange, with both of them in front of green backgrounds.

And finally, despite going home to his very red family, Joke has blue over his heart and Zo is finally embracing his yellow.

I'd very much like to posit that these are their true colours, that they've been carrying in their soles souls the whole time but maybe hiding them because they weren't fully sure of themselves or each other. Because when looked at like this, the graphic designers really did follow the assignment.

[respectthepetty]

Plant Daddies - Episode 3

This isn't about colors. This is about the Triangular Theory of Love in Hidden Agenda, but it's like lasagna; it has layers. Tee, is this about Step by Step?!

I wrote about plant symbolism in Hidden Agenda in Plant Daddies at Tea Time:

Yellow Chrysanthemum, the tea Zo drinks, represents slighted or neglected love and the taste of its tea is sweet.

And Red Roselle, the juice Joke drinks, represents romantic love or passion and the taste of its juice is sour.

The boys stick to those drinks.

But this week they switched without any comment.

Also, Zo told two stories this week from his Legends of Love book:

Red Roses get their color from the blood of Adonis mixing with the tears of Aphrodite seeping into the ground which caused the roses to change from white to red.

Yellow Sunflowers exist because Clytie fell in love with the sun god, Apollo, so when he left her, she looked at the sun so long that she grew roots and turned into a sunflower.

Both stories deal with a person losing the person she loves. However, the roses story is about love being taken away, and the sunflower story is about love leaving. Also, Zo stated he would cry if he lost his love, while Joke stated he wouldn't leave that person in the first place.

Yet Nita's take on the story is to move on from the past and find someone else.

Once again, this isn't about colors, but we now have two separate occasions where plants/flowers are included in the narrative, and those items are color-coded yellow and red, which only adds to the way we are seeing those colors pop up in the show with a third color.

I mentioned in the Plant Daddies at Tea Time post that primary colors seem to be intentional in the show because this episode, the only colored clothing Joke handed Zo when they were shopping was yellow.

Yet by the end, Zo was in blue with his yellow backpack.

So what does this have to do with the Triangular Theory of Love?

Well, all things come in threes:

The Primary Colors:

Red

Yellow

Blue

These are the basic colors needed to make all other colors; therefore, all colors start from these three, and all colors stem from these three colors.

The Love Triangle:

Joke likes Zo.

Zo likes Nita.

Nita likes Joke?

Issue - We don't know if Nita does still have feelings for Joke because her response to the story seemed as if she would get over Joke.

The Dating Rules:

Rule #1 - Do not gawk at your love interest.

Rule #2 - Ease into it. Don't rush. Oh, AND CONSENT!

Rule #3 - Do whatever Joke says.

Rule #3 - Stay true to yourself starting with the first date.

Issue - Joke seems to have problems sticking to his own rules.

The Triangular Theory of Love:

"It breaks down love into three components."

Passion - Zo is passionate about pursuing Nita.

Intimacy - Joke tells Zo he must ask Nita out to build this.

Commitment - And once they begin to date, this will evolve.

Issue - Zo already notices his heart isn't fluttering around Nita the way he thought it would, yet his heart seems to be doing something around Joke, which is maybe why Joke continues to advise Zo to do some self-reflection and try new things.

Because just like Khai and Third in the correctly titled Theory of Love, this process isn't just for Zo, but Joke:

Passion - Joke is passionate about getting Zo by any means necessary.

Commitment - Joke is committed to this bit, he made Zo give him explicit promises (to work together, to help him get in the debate team), and he already stated he would be committed in a relationship during their story time.

Intimacy - This is what Joke is lacking, which is why he developed this huge scheme to get Zo to spend more time with him.

The Balance:

Is this a story about finding the middle ground between two extremes?

So far, we have a story about Joke, a passionate guy who drinks sour red roselle juice and openly admits to being aggressive about love like the thorns of a rose, trying to develop intimacy with a boy who drinks sweet yellow chrysanthemum tea and says he would just stare at what he can't have than go after it like a sunflower in order to show his commitment . . .

Then both of these boys need each other to find that balance between their two ways of loving.

Joke has launched in elaborate plan to get Zo while Zo was willing to admire Nita from a distance for the rest of his life. Zo can't just stare at his crush (Rule #1), and Joke can't rush into things (Rule #2), yet neither has been truly themself from the start to get the other person (Rule #3).

In order to make this work:

Joke needs to learn sweet intimacy.

And Zo needs to understand burning passion.

So they can find a balance and be able to commit to each other when the time comes.

And maybe that will help their friends find a good balance between the secrets they hide in the dark and the looks they give in the light.

And maybe even rethink how they see things so they can find new meaning in what has been in front of them the entire time.

Because that look was more than what Kot said. Right?

[brehaaorgana]

Sorry my reply will probably just be too long for a comment lol @itspeepytime

Basically I think like — yes, I agree basic art classes should teach the love of creation and the practice of just creating and such.

However, I would not frame something like "teaching the basic science of art mediums and pigments, or color theory" to be "rules" per se. Fundamentals of the skill, yes. Rules? No. These are tools. If you know your tools, you can use them to do all kinds of conventional and unconventional things, but you also know what is not physically possible.

Example:

I will never get green if I mix magenta and cyan. That's not a creativity-limiting rule, that's just a fundamental fact of color mixing. A limiting rule is "leaves should be painted green."

That's a limiting rule. It's a limit on how to paint leaves. How to approach something.

But "magenta and cyan don't make green," is a fundamental. They make purple. You can't change that fact.

You can, however, paint leaves using purple, dark blue, or red.

We admire Monet and the impressionists for their use of light and color, which may have gone against conventions of the time — but they all deeply cared about the fundamental science of light and color. And they were studying it and using fundamentals.

It's great to teach intro students how to enjoy making art, but it's not limiting to help them understand the tools they have at their disposal in orded to make art. "PB15 is a transparent pigment called phthalo blue" isn't a stifling rule, it's a fact. Likewise if I tell you the mass tone of pb15 is incredibly dark, meaning you reach maximum chroma with some dilution/mixing (regardless of the medium), that doesn't stifle creative choices, it just explains what the tool you're using does.

So I'm never surprised by how phthalo blue is going to mix in any given color mixing experiment because I know the mass tone is darker than the maximum chroma I can reach, and I know it's a transparent pigment so it will mix and layer differently from an opaque pigment.

It's like - when I was a TA for an intro art history course, I had some stem students who were taking the class for a gen ed, and they panicked at first because we didn't really spend any time teaching art fundamentals the textbook briefly introduces. So they had no foundation for what they were trying to do or the tools we had for talking about art history. They came to my office hours and I was like "okay let's back up. Before you try to figure out like, meaning of a painting or history, let's just figure out how composition works and how I know what it is, because that's a good building block."

And then I brought print outs of various paintings and starting drawing over them to show them how composition worked and what I was identifying, before having them try it too. Like foreground, mid ground, background. That's a fundamental. Triangular compositions. Rule of thirds. Stuff that helped them see how creativity works with tools, and isn't just all abstract feelings and pure whimsical talent or something. And then I said "great so now you know how we figure this part out, so what's the focus of the painting? What is the artist focusing on? Is there somewhere the composition is emphasizing, or downplaying? And why might that be done?"

Suddenly it was less terrifying to learn art history for them, because it had structures and a logic and tools you could learn, rather than being about innate creativity or artistry.

I had to give them a fundamental building block.

I can tell anyone "draw a person standing under a tree," but if they're like "well all I can do is this-"

There are tools I can give them to understand how someone achieves something else! I feel like an overemphasis on "there all no rules, and I just want you to enjoy it" can be just as much of a problem as an overemphasis on too many strict conventions! Especially since so many people (non-art majors) are intimidated by the idea that they "can't" do great art because they simply don't have the "talent" needed when they just "do" it. They get frustrated and don't understand why they can't see improvement.

An extreme either way is bad, but I think lately it's swung sooo far in favor of "art has no rules, so fundamentals are limiting." that it's kinda bad, because even the art majors aren't learning some basic things.

[seat-safety-switch]

When I was a kid, there was a really big electrical transmission pole in the park behind my house. Now, I'm not talking about one of those regular-ass residential wood poles. This sucker was huge, triangular, made entirely out of metal, and looked like an Eiffel Tower's pissed-off underemployed half-brother. Every day during the summer, we'd play beneath its humming majesty.

Now, you have to remember that I'm not an electrical engineer. All this talk of "phases," "voltages," and "not setting your cousin on fire" is just so much textbook theory to me. Human beings are really good at becoming used to things, even insanely dangerous things like the pole. It left us alone, so we left it (mostly) alone. Sure, we occasionally peed on it. We definitely chucked frisbees at it and guffawed, although those brave flying discs could never reach the height of the lines.

One day, though, everything changed. In late fall, a lot of weird shit happens with the lines. A freezing rain storm might blow through in the evening and jump the wires together. Usually, some megaburst of electricity would come through and blow the short off the lines, and life would resume. Not always, though. We were in school when it happened.

Perhaps you remember the day that the astronauts came to your school, told you about staying in class and not doing anything greater than or equal to Schedule II narcotics. Do you remember when they got into their Lifter Capsule and floated off into the stratosphere, on their way to visit the next school or maybe back to clock out for the day on moon colony One? I do, but those astronauts probably do not. All that shiny metal on their spaceman flying saucer must have really loved all that electricity. Match made in heaven, really.

My longest-enduring memory of the day was being angry that the news choppers weren't paying enough attention to the story to bother landing further away from the power lines when they came to film the smouldering wreckage. Adults should have known better, I told my classmates. Just goes to show you that people get used to danger way faster than you'd think.

[imitationgame77]

What is Aromanticism???

Here on Tumblr, I see many posts mentioning aroace, aromantic, queer-platonic, etc., and I have been trying to understand, but still find it difficult.

If a person describes self as aromantic (= have no experience of romantic feelings towards others), this is fine. It is subjective definition, so must be respected.

But I don't know what it means when a relationship between two individuals is just described as aromantic, I don't know how to interpret that, unless there are more descriptions.

It is almost like dividing all the fruits into apple and non-apple. We can accept that it is NOT an apple, but then what is it?

Obviously, if we are talking about two individuals who can agree on their interpersonal relationship, that is fine. But when there is not necessarily agreement between the two participating individuals, how do the outsiders know?

Even more so, if these are fictional characters.

An American psychologist Robert Sternberg developed the famous "Triangular Theory of Love" in 1980s, where he characterised love between individuals with 3 factors: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. When these are combined you get 7 types of love. (Liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and non-love).

Generally, passion is interpreted as related to physical/sexual attraction.

So, if you see two individuals who seem to like each other a lot, but remove Passion from the picture, you are left with either "Liking" or "Companionate Love".

Companionate love is great for long-term relationship where the excitement is gone, but trust, caring feeling and understanding are still there. But I feel uncertain about calling ALL the GREAT relationships minus the Passion part as just "companionate". Something feels missing.

Why can we not call that excitement when you get to know someone and you just click? Instant chemistry, and you know that this person is going to be a great friend to you. Sometimes you can get infatuated with your new friend.

Friend or best friend are also good terms, but they don't encapusulate the specialness - some people have lots of best friends. (Or so they say.) Sometimes, there is a sense of exclusivity - resulting in jealousy when a third party comes along.

I wish there is a term to describe a relationship where two individuals care for each other greatly, can understand and accept each other with all the differences and irritating bits about each other, so special and valuable that do not want to lose each other, and gain greatest pleasure in each other's company above everything else.

I think it is possible to have this without sexual or physical attraction, can even have other friends or sexual relationships elsewhere. But this is THE most significant relationship that transcends everything else.

When people see some of these traits, we tend to think of them romantic. Even when we do not expect them to have relationships like lovers do. Because we see chemistry, bond, trust and everything that we desire. Maybe, the same brain areas that process very romantic things respond in a similar way.

I see this in Holmes and Watson (original), Sherlock and John (BBC Sherlock), House and Wilson (House, MD), Myron Bolitar and Win (Harlan Coben's Myron Bolitar series), and recently, Murderbot and ART. (That used to include Aziraphale and Crowley while their passion bit was subtext)

I don't imagine them in sexual or other physically intimate relationships, but the special bond between each of these pairs feels romantic. Because they are so special.

I need a simple word. Not a word meaning "not-something"...

[minhyeong]

DOJAEJUNG + TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE !

[ doyoung ] empty love: commitment with the absence of passion and intimacy

There were days when the realization drew him in like a whirlpool, and he would sink into a kind of sadness that was forbidden to the touch. There were days where he sensed the nagging presence of an ache, but he would convince himself that all he needed to do was carefully shut it away. 

Today, however, Doyoung has come to terms with the fact that sometimes people stop being in love. Somewhere along the line, he built a pane of glass between you and him. As the time slipped by, the days became so alike that he didn’t even notice how you both grew up and grew out of each other. Sometimes, he still thinks he can see himself growing old with you, inexplicably in love until the end of time. 

Today, however, Doyoung has come to terms with the fact that you were always separate.

“I don’t even know what to say,” he admitted, his hoarse, low whispers drowned out by the late evening wind. His fingers twitched as he slid back into his seat as far as he could to put some distance between you and him.

It was a cold evening, the type of cold that reached your bones and made you want to pull him closer than ever.

But his words were beyond icy.

“I don’t know what would be fair to say to you after all this time.” He let out a hollow laugh that pained his lungs. “I think...” he trailed off, fumbling with his words as if he was trying to find the least painful way to hurt you. “I think I might be a horrible person.”

For a second, you believed him. Doyoung had left you with more scars than you could count. Then, you realized he had desperately held onto an emptiness that had fossilized long ago.

“I understand.” You kept your mouth pressed into a tight line, trying to pretend he couldn’t see you. 

The room was too still. The drum of your heart was heavy and unbearable and dragged you down. The possibility that you were his crippling affliction crawled its way up your throat until you choked.

Doyoung drew your attention back with a soft murmur, the guilt flitting across his features when your gazes locked.

“Thank you.” He fell silent again, chewing on the insides of his cheek, plagued by uncertainty. Finally, he expelled a shuddering breath that left a fleeting, misty cloud. “I’m sorry.” 

You watched him through the pane of glass, and a strange feeling settled somewhere deep in the pit of your stomach, like the world was closing in again. 

“It was a privilege to love you.” He smiled half-heartedly, and you realized that his eyes had turned dull and dreary with time. Perhaps you’ve always noticed but simply didn’t want to come to terms with the impending end.

Today, however, Doyoung has.

So you forced yourself to turn away, forgetting how to cry.

I wish I still had the privilege to love you, you wanted to say, but Doyoung was already light years away.

[ jaehyun ] romantic love: passion and intimacy with the absence of commitment

There was no right or wrong way to fall for someone. You couldn’t recall the exact point in time that defined the very moment your feelings for Jaehyun shifted beyond platonic. It was all subtle until it turned you into a nervous wreck around him.

But you were bad at having crushes, so you spent all your time convincing yourself that your heart wasn’t moments away from leaping right out of your rib cage whenever he was around. 

The biggest problem was: he was always around. It was impossible to figure out whether you had forced your way into his routine or the other way around, but you had become so comfortable with his presence that it scared you. 

“People keep on thinking we’re dating,” you muttered, mindlessly scrolling through your phone as you sprawled your limbs across the entire couch.

Jaehyun laughed, not even sparing you a glance from where he sat cross-legged on the ground with his back against the couch. He fixed the cushion that almost slipped entirely off his lap until it was tucked under his elbows again. “What’s wrong with that?”

“What do you mean?” You peered at the back of his head incredulously, shooting him a look of utter disbelief. “I still want to find someone and fall in love, and you’re definitely scaring everyone away.” 

You didn’t catch how he suddenly became mildly irritated. His jaw clenched, shoulders going rigid. Then, he sharply exhaled before composing himself. “Didn’t you just go on a date a few weeks ago? With that guy who didn’t even have enough sincerity to bring you out to a restaurant?”

“That’s not true,” you refuted, tone softening as your confidence gradually vanished. “Remember how he made that romantic dinner for me?” 

“He microwaved you pizza.” 

You sneered at him. Even without looking back, Jaehyun sensed the slow uncoiling of annoyance and defeat as you went quiet. 

A tense silence clung to the air. His features contorted into a grimace as he contemplated his options before he finally raised to his feet. “Move your legs for a second,” he mumbled, slinking into the gap between your suspended legs and the couch. With splayed fingers on your knees, he lowered your legs down again until they settled on top of his lap. 

“If you want to fall for someone, can’t you just fall for me?” 

You were taken aback, mind short-circuiting, furrowing your brows in confusion at what that could imply. The phone nearly slipped out of your clutch when you strained your neck up to question him just to find him already looking at you. It was unnerving. The inexplicable emotions that were set ablaze suddenly terrified you. 

You wished he didn’t look at you as if he liked you back.

There was no right or wrong way to fall for someone. The bold comment undeniably changed your perspective on the relationship and sent you tumbling head first. 

But you were bad at having crushes, so you reacted instinctively and coiled back. You coughed out a strained, choppy laugh, frantically ripping away from his touch as you swung your legs off his lap. The waver in your voice and the red that permeated your cheeks in seconds weren’t helping. 

You were bad at having crushes, and Jaehyun felt a lot like free falling with nothing to hold you back from gracelessly plummeting.

But maybe someone will catch you for once. 

“I already did.” 

[ jungwoo ] infatuated love: passion with the absence of intimacy and commitment

Love at first sight was cliche. You were not normally impulsive enough to play that game, always guarding yourself because you found more safety in a love that burned slow and bright and took time.

But when you sat around the table littered with a pile of half emptied bottles and toppled over solo cups, sandwiched between your group of intoxicated friends who could barely control the trajectory of their limbs yet insisted on playing a round of truth or dare, you thought maybe taking a risk wasn’t so bad for once. 

“I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into the room.”

You scoffed, waving a hand in disapproval. “That’s getting old. I'm not kissing anyone.”

And you were adamant despite all the booing you received, but all of it crumbled like sand defending itself against the waves when Jungwoo walked in. 

The flickering lights danced across his features, and you couldn’t help but stare through your slightly hazy vision, wondering if you were still in the right plane of reality. The soft flutters in your chest escalated into irregular palpitations. You had to blink a little extra harder to ground yourself. 

You couldn’t quite put your finger on what made him different from everyone else. Perhaps the music that reverberated around your head was messing with your ability to think straight, or the alcohol in your system made you a little more reckless. 

But it was impossible to look away now that you’ve seen him. 

"Okay, I'll do it,” you muttered, shrugging as nonchalantly as you could possibly feign. “I mean, rules are rules.”

Jungwoo was already focused on a conversation by the time you gathered enough courage to cross the room and past all the bodies to get to him. There was a sweet, slightly pungent smell of sandalwood and violet as you approached him. 

Love at first sight was cliche, but perhaps the butterflies that people described were real. 

Being struck by his looks was only a small fraction of what you felt. All you knew was the sudden wave of an unfamiliar feeling was utterly frightening. You almost wanted to pivot on your heels and sprint in the opposite direction when he noticed your presence and turned his body toward you. The scent of his perfume invaded all your senses until your head felt weightless. 

“Hi,” he chirped, gently tilting his head to the side, gazing at you as if he had known you all his life.

Your heart lurched a little, all words knocked right out of your mouth as your chest thumped along with the boosted bass. When you eventually allowed yourself to meet his eyes and trace the outline of his face, you threw all caution to the wind, helplessly hypnotized by his tender smile.

It took every ounce of you to not kiss him.

Love at first sight was cliche, and while you couldn’t quite say you were in love with Jungwoo yet, you wanted to be.

[slayerkitty]

On Hidden Agenda And if the Agenda is Really Hidden

Otherwise known as @respectthepetty and I watched episode 11, looked at each other, scratched our heads and pulled the clown car over to the side of the road. Episode 11 was not the traditional "BL Episode of Doom" it usually is in most BLs. Some BLs do purposefully subvert this trope or move the episode of doom to episode 10 instead.

It didn't feel like that was what happened here. So we hopped out of the clown car, whipped out our phones to check our maps and directions, because we were very, very confused. We were so sure we had the show figured out! And...no?

So we decided to backtrack; turn the clown car around and start the trip again from the start. To take this week and re-watch Hidden Agenda from the beginning and figure out what the hell we missed.

We also took a detour into source material territory (aka looked up a summary about the book) which was no help to the current situation, because @respectthepetty discovered that JengPok, Nita's stalker, Puen, and Wave x Trin weren't even in it! The only thing we were able to confirm with it is that it's from Joke's POV, he's unhinged in it, and Zo spends most of it dating Nita.

With all this in mind, I sat down with episode 1 of Hidden Agenda in hopes that I would discover anything that we might have missed. I also have slowly cultivated two theories that as of episode 6 still hold up though I don't know how much weight I want to give the second one (but I also can't let it go).

Before I delve into the theories, I do want to point out a couple things that I have noticed.

Zo is super intense about debate club, NOVA, and the Finland scholarship from episode 1. His coaching of Joke in episode 2 rivals his mother's coaching of him in episode 10. If someone who makes gifs could make a gif set that parallels those two scenes, I would be eternally grateful; it will blow your mind. Zo's issues with disappointing his mom are also there from episode one, but they are super subtle. He doesn't want Kot to tag him in his IG story because his mom might see him at the bar drinking. He mentions in I think either episode 2 or 3 that his mom hasn't visited in a while because she's been busy and the way he says it is so... ugh, he needs a hug.

Zo's trauma from Puen's horrible treatment of him is also evident from episode 1 as well; he is constantly saying that he doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, that he's worried he's upsetting people, etc. It's constant. Seriously, someone hug Zo.

Theory 1: Joke did something bad/something bad happened to someone he cared about (probably in high school and appears to have gotten therapy about it based on how he speaks)

Episode 1:

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, while Joke is scolding(?) Zo, he says, "What you said on that stage won't change a broken system."

Episode 2:

Joke tells Zo, "My tongue gets me in trouble."

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Episode 3:

Joke says "Before you get to know someone, you need to know yourself."

Joke also asks/tells Zo to trust him for the first time.

Joke talks about the Triangular Theory of Love: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment

Joke is pretty worried when Zo crashes his bike and makes Zo ride with him instead.

Joke mentions that he used to go to the restaurant Zo picked out with his dad, back when they used to go out to eat; this suggests a distance between him and his dad.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip as if he's afraid if Zo leaves without him, something bad will happen.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

Joke is afraid of the glass bridge but he's also to worried to let Zo go out on the bridge by himself.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Kot doesn't seem to like Joke and extremely overreacts to the way Joke trying to get Zo to eat the food he bought. Now, Joke was maybe a little pushy, but Kot goes off the handle.

When cuddling in bed, Joke says "hugging for 30s releases Oxytocin" and if they hug longer, "it means we feel the same."

Theory 2: Joke is a stalker

Yeah, you read that right. There is ample evidence throughout the first 6 episodes that on first watch, didn't quite ring alarm bells, but on re-watch, are setting off sirens. I kinda had this as a crack theory in the back of my head after episode 8 first aired, but now it's staring me in the face and feels a lot less crack-y

Episode 1:

Joke eavesdrops on Zo recording his podcast

Joke is super intense when speaking to Zo at the studio and manhandles him a little so that Joke can sort of pin him against the wall.

Joke eavesdrops on Zo and friends on the bus and then approaches him after to give advice on Nita

Joke asks Zo if the iced coffee is for Zo and says it's not because "Zo doesn't like coffee."

Joke always seems to be around when Zo is trying to approach Nita.

Joke confesses that he has a crush before singing a song.

When Zo tries to leave the bathroom after getting sick, Joke actively won't let him, grabbing him roughly and holding him in place.

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, Zo asks Joke why he won't quit if he hates it and Joke says he has his reasons.

At the studio, Joke says "I love you and you love me" in Chinese and proceeds to do what has been touted as an "erotic wedding based tradition" with drinking the Roselle juice.

Episode 2:

Joke starts pushing boundaries with food

Joke and Zo make a deal to help Zo with Nita.

Joke has a fantasy of Zo winning and them kissing.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again

Joke admits to Zo he has a crush on someone.

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Joke ties Zo's shoe

Joke says he's already started helping Zo with Nita, but has he?

Episode 3:

Joke basically milks all the situations with Zo in his favor under the guise of helping Zo with Nita

Joke admits he listens to Zo's podcast because it helps him sleep.

During dinner, Joke says that "What you see of someone may not be the whole story," and "Stay true to yourself."

In the library, Joke tells Zo "I would never let someone I love face danger alone."

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn't answering his calls. and it's implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke insists on driving Zo home despite Zo's protests.

Joke invites himself on Zo's trip really insistently and hugs Zo excitedly when Zo agrees.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn't leave Zo "alone and sad" and "I'll never abandon you"

Joke also says "I only care for those who care for me."

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 4:

Joke knows how long it's been since Zo changed his profile pic.

After dinner, Joke says "Sometimes people don't show all their cards."

Episode 5:

Joke confronts Zo for trying to avoid him and wanting to forget their kiss. Joke is incredibly aggressive and spills his drink on Zo as a result.

Joke continues to message Zo that Zo is avoiding him and that he's going to come over. Zo says not to. Joke does anyway.

Joke gets himself invited to dinner with Zo and his mom.

Joke makes a move while doing dishes and tells Zo he wants to know how Zo feels.

Joke says "why would you hurt me and tell me to forget?" and "you never care about my feelings."

Joke also says "don't run away from me," and "don't avoid me."

Joke confesses through tongue twister.

Joke remembers that Zo hates stink beans.

Joke tells Zo "I would do anything for you," and "I like you Zo, I want to show you that you like me, too."

Asks Zo to let Joke pursue him.

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up "liveliness sprung from despair."

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn't go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Joke pushes boundaries with food again and then fights with Kot.

Zo tells Joke he needs to respect boundaries.

Joke oversteps boundaries again in at debate club.

Joke pushes Zo again for an answer on his feelings; Joke says he "will always wait" for Zo.

Joke also insists that Zo was into him all along and not Nita.

Joke watches Zo at the debate open house and gets jealous.

Joke wants Zo to stay over; he pushes Zo again for an answer to his feelings. When Zo wants to go shower, Joke grabs his arm and stop him, saying that he won't let Zo run away.

Joke gives Zo the arcade t-shirt and when Zo says he doesn't know the significance, Joke tells Zo to take it off. Joke then takes his own shirt off and refuses to put it back on.

Joke asks to hold Zo and Zo doesn't answer, just rolls over onto his side away from Joke. Joke says "silence means yes" (and in this case it did but OH MY GOD) and proceeds to cuddle Zo.

As I go through my re-watch, I'll add more to both theories but as of episode 6, they both hold up. I can't decide of Joke himself actually did (insert bad thing here) to someone, or just knew someone that (insert bad thing here) happened to. Joke being a stalker wasn't that evident at first, but it is now! At a minimum, Joke is obsessive, posessive and overly clingy.

Also, these theories can both be true! They don't contradict each other in any way. Stay tuned for Part 2, probably... Friday or Saturday.

[sayakxmi]

I've certainly seen at least a few people headcanon that the dreambubbles have affected the dancestors behavior in some way, but I haven't seen any attempts at actually explaining how it could have possibly worked, so I've figured out I'd share my own theory.

Quick but necessary disclaimer first, though: none of this is canon. I'd say I'm being quite charitable here even calling it a theory, when in reality it's more like an AU. So by no means assume it's a hard rule or a definite explanation of what's going on. Personally, I see it as a bit of a cheat code that leaves me a lot of free room to write the dancestors closer to how I would've wanted them to be written, hence I'm sharing in case somebody wants to do a similar thing without truly contradicting the information we have in the source material. 

To start with, we can kind of scratch the idea that the dreambubbles prevent you from changing right off the bat, as we see at least three different characters go through some character development in spite of being dead and stuck there (Meenah, Aranea, Vriska). You could probably make it work if you really, really wanted that, but it doesn't seem all that plausible. 

So, if the issue isn't that you cannot change, perhaps the issue is that you change too much.

Let's start from the beginning - how do the dreambubbles work? Well, they allow for the ghosts to continue existing, as well as for the dreamers to wake up in there and interact with them or each other. How does the awakening happen, whether for the dead or the sleeping?

Through a memory.

Examples I can think of are:

1 - dead - doomed!Dave, playing a game, still in his triangular shades, until Aradia starts trolling him and eventually he realizes this is not actually real, so both his surroundings as well as appearance change to match what he remembers, until he reaches the realization that he is, in fact, dead, and blood appears on his body, too.

2 - sleeping - Terezi goes through a memory of her conversation with Vriska after she'd blinded her, and it takes her a moment to realize something is wrong, as well as that the person she was talking with wasn't even Vriska, but Aranea instead; it's more or less then, that her surroundings change.

In other words, one of the main pillars of the dreambubbles are memories.

But the thing is, memories are quite subjective and heavily influenced by the way we perceive things. So, if we assume that the perception of an event can affect the surroundings as well as your appearance and state (eg. dead!Eridan who still has his eyes, as he apparently hasn't realized he's dead), wouldn't it be possible for the perception of a person to affect their behavior?

The way I imagine it working is essentially a positive feedback loop. Regardless of whether it was true or not, from your perspective the person you interact with was a self-absorbed asshole who looked down on everybody, and tried to sound smart and objective when in reality they were just insulting everybody and to make themselves look better in comparison. 

It's possible you weren't the only person who thought that way or thought something similar (and there were already thousands of yous) and in the same manner the surroundings were adjusting to your thoughts, the person in front of you was also changing slightly to fit better the subconscious description you've had for them in your mind.

What if the person was a bit of a shameless flirt? Maybe they weren't all that serious about it, but you've always got the impression that all they've ever wanted to do is get into other people's pants. Or they were really passionate about horses, to the point where you've seriously thought it was all they cared about, hell, maybe they should've just been hatched as a fucking horse! Or they really loved to talk about shipping, as if nothing else was more important. Or in reverse, you've always seen that person as level-headed and respectable, in spite of them being actually pretty head-strong and at times just genuinely shitty. Or you've seen somebody as cool and assertive, when in reality they were extremely insecure and conflict-averse.

The more you see these people that way, the more their personalities shift to fit these descriptions, and the more they shift, the more confirmation you get about them being like you've always thought them to be, which ends up making these perceptions even stronger, and makes them behave even stronger in that specific way, which once again validates your perception of them, and… And it just keeps happening. 

Personally, I don't consider this to be a completely unavoidable process, especially when you're aware of this happening. But the real question is, is there actually a point? The dancestors have spent an eternity in the dreambubbles, surrounded by thousands of other versions of themselves, affected by all these various versions of each other. It's got to get tiring at some point to just remain so vigilant in differentiating your own thought patterns from what is something you wouldn't have actually thought in your right might. It's just… too much effort. Who even cares what becomes of you? Your world is gone, everybody around you is dead and just as tired of it all. Why bother?

Or in case you still want to retain the clarity of your mind, but without all that conscious effort, the only other option is to get as far from people as possible. The less ghosts around you, the less perceptions to affect you. That could explain how Meenah is… pretty normal, after staying away from everybody in the memory of her hive for however long she was there.

To sum it up, the dreambubbles are essentially the place where believing in something makes it less and less fake until it becomes real.

[profoundbondfanfic]

I hope you get to enjoy this winter holiday chill with some hot cup of cocoa, your favorite blanket, your dear pet, and maybe... some fics to keep you warm and happy. Happy Holidays, everyone, here are a few fics that feature the holiday spirit.🎄

‘tis the damn season by thelostbrontesister [Teen, 21k words]

“Do you think we’ll ever see each other again?” Dean asks, filling out the check and leaving a tip for the waitress. She was the same year as him; she didn’t graduate either. Of course we will. We’re best friends; we’ll always keep in touch. That’s what normal people say. But Castiel was never normal. He contemplates the question and answers truthfully, “I don’t know.”

A Date for The Holidays by WaywardAF67 [Explicit, 37k words]

Castiel would never have considered hiring an escort on his own. But when his friend and personal assistant, Charlie suggested he use the service for the upcoming holidays, Cas warmed to the idea. Having a companion to help him through his mother’s never-ending relationship questions, and the family drama that was sure to unfold was enough to push Cas to book a date with Succubus Escort service. He just wanted help getting through the holidays, but with Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak ended up with so much more.

Christmas in July by followyourenergy [Mature, 28k words]

When Dean Winchester follows a service dog who won’t leave him alone, he finds Cas Novak, passed out in a stairwell with a Christmas tree on top of him. A Christmas tree? In July? Who does that? Turns out that Cas does that. And once he gets to know the snarky, independent, handsome man, Dean can’t help but fall for him. A story about being seen.

Holidate by Kitmistry [Teen, 34k words]

Dean and Castiel hate the holidays! Their enduring singledom leaves them subject to the judgment of their meddling family members or stuck with clingy, awkward dates on each festive occasion. When these two meet, they pledge to be each other’s plus-ones for each holiday celebration over the course of the year.

Holiday Love by Castielslostwings [Explicit, 31k words]

Popular podcast host Castiel Novak has a secret. While his listeners see him as an expert on romance and the magic of the holidays, Castiel has never truly experienced any of that for himself. This year, that’s about to change, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect. As Castiel is preparing to embark on a whirlwind promotional tour for his new book, he stops by his hometown to celebrate Christmas with his family. Unexpectedly, sparks ignite between him and beloved local jack-of-all-trades, Dean Winchester. This year, Castiel might be forced to learn what “Holiday Love” is really all about—but can he put his cynicism aside enough to let Dean in?

Let Me Come Home by prosopopeya [Explicit, 163k words]

It would be very inconvenient for Castiel to get a crush on Claire’s foster parent.

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love by aishitara [Explicit, 14k words]

Dean clears his throat and says, “I have an idea for how to deal with your mom.” He looks away as he takes a long swallow of beer. “But you’re probably not gonna like it.” Castiel grunts. “Tell me anyway. You’ve got one idea more than me.” Huffing a small laugh, Dean says, “Yeah, well, we’ll see.” He looks over at Castiel, lower lip caught between his teeth. “I’ll go with you,” he says earnestly. “To Thanksgiving.” Castiel stares at Dean blankly, not following. “Y’know,” Dean says, suddenly interested in removing the label from his beer. “As your boyfriend.”

The Little Things by followyourenergy [Teen, 11k words]

Dean Winchester made a New Year’s resolution to tell his best friend, Cas Novak, that he loves him. He’s almost out of time. So he devises a series of big, romantic ways to do it over the holidays. Of course, nothing goes to plan, and Dean is left morose…until Cas reminds him of something.

[littlebittykittycommittee]

Not real evidence, but another thing that I think strengthens the narrator theory for me anyway is this.

Image description: Four screenshots from Undertale, from the Undertale Text Project (link here).

The first two are from the boss fight against Asriel when he's transformed into the Angel of Death, his goat head with long horns atop a floating, legless, triangular body with long clawed hands in gloves and giant, rainbow-colored wings spread out that are shifting colors. Face scrunched up, he's wailing and shouting, "So, please… Stop doing this… And just let me win!!!"

The next two screenshots are from much earlier in the game: the first is in the tutorial fight against the Dummy in the Ruins, which the player has spared. The narration reads, "You won! You earned 0 XP and 0 gold." The final screenshot is from killing an enemy. The player is LV 4 and the narration reads, "You won! You earned 100 XP and 140 gold. Your LOVE has increased."

End description.

The whole game, the narrator has cheered us on most any time we win an encounter with a monster, whether we fought or spared. The only exception is when we beat the boss at the end of the area, again whether that is sparing or killing (eg Toriel, Papyrus) - there is no narration when a boss encounter has been won. The only exception ironically is if you spare the injured Flowey after the Photoshop Flowey fight: the narration simply says, "Flowey ran away." (If you kill him however, the narrator says nothing, as with the result of every other boss fight.)

(Tangent: The Doylist explanation for this is probably that these are the main characters and their words to us when defeated is supposed to be what sticks, so having the narration say "Yay, good job! You got this from that!" might break up the mood in a way Toby didn't want. The narration for "Flowey ran away" is used instead to drive home how pitiful he's become with his tearful reaction to the Mercy spam.)

It just feels like something Toby would do, ya know? Asriel, the antagonist, pleading with Chara, the narrator who's been letting us win the whole game, to let him win. And then, even though they were jabbering excitedly earlier in the fight, they stay silent and say nothing back to his pleas, perhaps because they know he's talking to the wrong person and won't be able to hear them anyway (Frisk is the one he's fighting, not them), or perhaps because they can't bring themself to say anything else after the flashbacks (the narrator does fall silent suddenly after the flashbacks; the reality of it all hitting home for Chara and choking them up?). And of course, with the narrator saying nothing back, Asriel then ends up "losing" as he cries and has his change of heart.

Thematically, it's just too cool that, along with everything else, it makes it really hard for me to believe that Toby didn't intend NarraChara.

It would also make sense as a game the two used to play and perhaps the reason Chara is so quick to start narrating everything for us. Asriel has his Absolute God of Hyperdeath character the narrator is quick to recognize and describe, after all, so it wouldn't surprise me if this was a game they played: Chara the DM describing the world and enemies around Asriel as he, the hero of the story, ventures forth and battles enemies. Drawing their stories, recording their games with the camera. Flowey, the one-time hero of the story, turned villain, wants to keep playing but can never hear their voice again. And Chara, now reduced to just their voice, never able to speak to their friend again and now fated to narrate the real-life, life-or-death adventures of strangers in different worlds (with the silver lining that they at least seem to enjoy Frisk's and Kris' company).

It's also interesting to consider in light of this from Chara themself.

Image description:

Six screenshots from Undertale, again courtesy of the Undertale Text Project, all from the scene at the end of the Kill All run where Chara speaks directly to the player. The first image is a choice the player has to "Erase" or "Do Not." After the player chooses Do Not, Chara says, "No...? Hmm... How curious. You must have misunderstood." And then, in all-caps with their smile still unchanged but their eyes turned hollow and black, they say, "Since when were you the one in control?"

End description.

The only time Chara, our otherwise plucky faithful narrator, won't let you win. They deny you winning in a much more brutal way than the sad silence they give Asriel on Pacifist, and should you do Pacifist again after this, they make sure to snatch that victory from you too.

[emblematicemblazer]

World building and theories of Engage

Celine

Céline, is a French female first name of Latin origin, coming from Caelīna, the feminine form of the Roman cognomen Caelīnus, meaning 'heavenly'.

Saint Celine was the patron saint of music. She gave birth at an advanced age and after the birth she gave sight to a hermit. Her life was full of good works and prayer. Saint Celine's healing ability, piousness, good works and the reference to a long life relate to Céline

Céline could also be a reference to the luxury brand of the same name.

Celine's fashion is inspired by rococo. The decorative use of lace, ruffles, gems, ribbons, touching and flowers to embellish gowns was a key feature of the style.  She wears what is known as Robe a la Francaise whose key features are: a defined waist, richly decorated mantle, a skirt and a triangular stomacher. These are decorated with quillings, lace and bows. The neckline is low and decorated with lace. The rectangular shape of her skirt is an iconic silhouette of rococo. Pannier's created the shade with hoops flattened into an ovoid shade. The outrageous width ensures she takes up more space than a man to signify the importance of women and to make the waist look tiny. 

The black lace with by the three royals could be a reference to them mourning the death of the king, her father, who died from the plague.

At each side of her crown are butterflies.They are symbols of nature and freedom. In the bible God takes a caterpillar and changes it into a butterfly just like he transforms sinners into saints. Celine may have to do things that harden her heart but the Divine Dragon will ensure she remains a butterfly. 

Celine's royal crown is full of flowers which I believe was inspired by The Crown of Louis XV of France which has a floral dome in the centre embellished with gemstones.

The gold and green colour scheme is in traditional rococo pastel shades and demonstrates her royal status and love of nature. 

[january-summers]

Just reminded of that time I wrote a short fic where one of the leads was not only asexual, but on the sex-repulsed end of the 'asexual sexual interest' scale. (Though it took them time to work out that's what was up with them, because they liked the kissing part, and the cuddling part and the having a partner part.)

The happy ending of the fic was when the character who was asexual, LS, walked in on their partner, KJ, masturbating, and KJ basically said "just because I get horny doesn't mean you have to give me sex, especially since I know you don't like it. Having sex with you doesn't matter to me, being with you as partners matters to me. I can handle my horny myself :D"

And LS finally got someone who loved them but didn't make them feel like they had to exchange sex to deserve that love and all was well.

And then people on that fandom's discord were like:

"Okay but they should have sex, LS should feel safe to have the sex now that their dislike of sex is validated, so they should reward KJ with sex. The asexual should have sex for a change."

and the weirdest part to me was that was something another aspec person said to me. Because I always see that in fics, (on the very rare occasion I see an asexual character and their sexuality gets screentime) asexual character's asexuality is 'validated' and they immediately start having sex... unless the character is fat. (iykyk)

Except I had struggled with whether or not they should have sex, because I felt like maybe I (an aspec person) had to send the 'right' message about asexuality and how some asexuals do have sex, and that's okay they're still asexual.

But I exist on a sliding scale of asexuallity and my sex repulsed side deserved some love, so that won out.

The scale (for me) is triangular btw, the three points are 1. (theory only) interest 2. repulsion 3. oh shit i forgot sex was even a thing (and not something people made up for fanfic reasons because I just don't think about it.)

[papirouge]

There’s something about every alpha masculinity account that screams “fed” to me. I really think these account are fake and ran by the fbi to monitor men online and who would be likely to commit mass violence. Other times it’s bots.

But really, look at how they cry about how men are gods on earth for women to forcibly worship them (idolatry God will strike down every man who calls himself the lord) and the need to protect children from leftist but will welcome Kevin spacey and man who preyed upon children openly all because they don’t believe in “cancel culture” unless it’s them. This is such a insidious agenda happening and it requires a lot of attention from Christians to avoid this.

That's an interesting theory

I also heart the one saying that the incel movement was incepted by old scrote trying to make younger men look as stupid & insane as possible so that women of their age be repulsed by them and instead consider dating older men on the basis they won't be as unhinged. It would make sense if older redpiller weren't as much demented as the younger ones. And it's not like they were good concealing their "opinions" those scrote are unable to have a normam conversation with a women not involving sex, breeding, female's "role" or some other redpill bs

These old scrote are much more cunning and calculating than they will admit. Andrew Tate proudly admits he has no issue lying and deceptive tactics with the girls he's trafficking so why his fans think he wouldn't do the same to them? 🤔

Now to come back to your theory, I definitely think the redpill movement is indeed a psy-op to divide society. What irks me so bad is that so called 'free thinker' media wil have no issue seeing this when it comes to race, and call the BLM movement "divisive" and breeding hate among society, but will say absolutely nothing about redpiller and their visceral hate against women. I'm thinking about Vigilant Citizen especially.. it's been a while I realized dude was shady but I realized he was definitely full of shit when he made an entire article to dunk on Barbie and its feminist propaganda that will destroy society🙄 (btw I didn't forget he never approved my comment on that article calling him out lmao Mind you, he's one of those whiny people asking for more fReEdoM oF sPeEch/truthers are cEnsOreD, but is unable to apply that freedom of speech on his own website🤡). Meanwhile he has yet to address the redpill movement and the well documented femicide attacks/shootings perpetuated by men who explicitly expressed their hatred against women. Is that enough to finally call the redpiller/mra movement "divisive" too?

VC loves making articles pointing out the occult symbolism anywhere he can, so...why didn't he say shit about Andrew Tate Russian guru who happens to be a black warlock? Or Tate xitter handle being COBRA Tate? If you look into it, dude has whole thing going on with snakes... What about his weird triangular hand symbol too. VC would've a field day making an article developing the theory that Tate is actually a plant seeking to breed chaos and gender wars - it would have made a lot of sense bc there's a lot of shady shit going on with Tate and how he's being wk'ed by the Conservative right when he's a British pimp living in Romania. Also wasn't his dad CIA? Reaaal shady shit going on... But VC won't cover that shit bc he's of his bias.. but don't worry he'll make a 567th article about celebrities hiding one eye and the awful LBGT+ propaganda because lf *checks notes* rainbow on a note book🙃

You'd think the way these people talk about feminism women were out there turning society upside down, hounding & harassing men....but nope. IDK for being so dangerous & radical, feminists seem to be very quiet 🤔 there's a reason those men have to look into movies and video games to claim oppression. The so called oppression they get from women doesn't translate IRL.

[slayerkitty]

On Hidden Agenda and if the Agenda is Really Hidden (Part 2)

Where we last left off on our road trip, @respectthepetty and I had pulled the clown car over, started checking out directions and trying to figure out where we went wrong in our theories and I sat down to re-watch the show to figure out what we missed. Last time I posited two theories and listed evidence to why I think that. Now that I have finished re-watching through episode 11, I think I'm backing off my Joke is a stalker theory. I'm not throwing it out completely, but I don't think that's what's happening here.

There's also something happening with Joke, Zo and the Clytie and Sunflower myth that Zo reads to Nita in episode 3. Zo is repeatedly conflated with the sun/sunshine - he has a sunset painting in his kitchen, Joke photoshopped Zo's face on a sun and said Zo is his sunshine. Joke is conflated with sunflowers - he gives them to Zo over and over. They do switch this role once each - Zo paints a sunflower on his ceramic vase in episode 3 and in episode 11, Joke tells Zo that he (Joke) is Zo's sunshine. To me, that also makes Joke Clytie, the one who was abandoned by someone they loved, who was just waiting for them to come back.

All of this in mind, here's the theory I've centered on: Joke did something bad in high school; his parents paid (or used other means) to get him out of any trouble he was in and it caused a huge fallout in their relationship. Oh, and it happened on Joke's birthday.

So with this new theory in mind, I'm going to go back through all the evidence I posted in the previous post and add it to this one, plus include evidence from the later episodes.

Episode 1:

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, while Joke is scolding(?) Zo, he says, “What you said on that stage won’t change a broken system.”

Episode 2:

Joke tells Zo, “My tongue gets me in trouble.”

When Joke and Zo are debating about hidden agendas in relationships, Joke asks why he should tell someone things when he starts dating them because he should be able to tell things in his own time.

Episode 3:

Joke says “Before you get to know someone, you need to know yourself.”

Joke also asks/tells Zo to trust him for the first time.

Joke talks about the Triangular Theory of Love: Passion, Intimacy and Commitment

Joke is pretty worried when Zo crashes his bike and makes Zo ride with him instead.

Joke mentions that he used to go to the restaurant Zo picked out with his dad, back when they used to go out to eat; this suggests a distance between him and his dad.

During dinner, Joke says that “What you see of someone may not be the whole story,” and “Stay true to yourself.”

In the library, Joke tells Zo “I would never let someone I love face danger alone.”

The next day, Zo is sitting outside when Joke finds him and says that Zo wasn’t answering his calls. and it’s implied he was searching for Zo because he was worried.

Joke invites himself on Zo’s trip as if he’s afraid if Zo leaves without him, something bad will happen.

Episode 4:

Joke tells Zo he couldn’t leave Zo “alone and sad” and “I’ll never abandon you”

Joke also says “I only care for those who care for me.”

Joke is afraid of the glass bridge but he’s also to worried to let Zo go out on the bridge by himself.

After dinner, Joke says “Sometimes people don’t show all their cards.”

Episode 6:

Joke gifts Zo a sunflower pillow and tells him to look up the meaning, Zo searches up “liveliness sprung from despair.”

Joke insists on picking up Zo so Zo doesn’t go out in the rain/worried about his health.

Kot doesn’t seem to like Joke and extremely overreacts to the way Joke trying to get Zo to eat the food he bought. Now, Joke was maybe a little pushy, but Kot goes off the handle.

When cuddling in bed, Joke says “hugging for 30s releases Oxytocin” and if they hug longer, “it means we feel the same.”

Episode 7:

At the amusement park, Joke mentions he has fond memories of the park because he went with his grandma back in high school (implies the break or disconnect with his family occurred then).

Talk of changing bad memories to good ones (re: Puen)

Joke says "I've never seen so much blood and gore in my life" regarding the haunted house.

Joke's grandma tells Joke that any potential partner needs to be a "fighter".

When his motorcycle breaks down and Zo is surprised Joke can fix it, Joke says "when you love something you learn to take care of it"

Zo says that Joke "sounds like a life coach"

When dropping Zo off, Joke hugs him and says "it's been awhile since I hugged anyone besides my grandma" (ouch, just ouch)

When Joke can't get a hold of Zo, he panics and get the landlady to open Zo's door and is freaked out to find Zo asleep on the floor.

Joke and Zo take day off and make something that looks like vases and Zo paints a sunflower on his.

Despite Joke having a temper, he lets Zo handle Puen how he sees fit.

Episode 8:

Zo comments that Joke "spouts Hallmark lines"

When Zo tells Joke that he and Poom are going to Zo's room for school work, Joke asks "is he trustworthy?"

Joke gets a package of creepy pics (via Jeng) and races to find Zo.

Joke says "I'll take care of you" to Zo

When Joke, Zo and Nita bust Poom, Zo has to pull Joke off Poom.

Joke tells Zo "don't trust strangers too easily" and "if something comes up, we always talk"

Episode 9:

Joke asks "what will I do without you for three months" when Zo says he has to go home for break.

Joke wants three calls a day and a video chat before bed every night (that's a lot, Joke, damn)

Joke tells Jeng "you might regret it one day when you turn around and [Pok's] not there"

In the flashback to the Freshy Contest, Joke is sitting alone outside, looking melancholy when Zo approaches.

Zo offers to take Joke's place in the contest and asks if Joke is okay.

Joke says "no one should be forced to do anything" and "you're the first person to ask what I wanted"

Joke says he won't lie or hide anything during his apology

Zo insists "no silence, no hiding, no secrets"

Episode 10:

Joke is supposed to spend his birthday with his Grandma (Jeng is taking Joke's parents out to dinner).

Joke worries about Zo.

Zo's mom chooses "childhood trauma from parental conflicts results in troubled adults"

Zo quotes statistic of "50% of people with family conflicts commit crimes"

Joke tells Zo "your family and mine are not so different" and it's his "happiest birthday"

(holy time jump Batman - I guess three months have passed between leaving Zo's and the debate club scene)

We get the Wave and Trin back story but the most important part to me was Zo asking "was hitting someone the answer?"

Episode 11:

Joke advises his parents are not coming to the debate, he texted their family group chat and "got left on read"

Joke's family just rolls up to his apartment (does grandma have a key then?) and they just hang out waiting for Joke

Joke's dad films Joke's mom and grandma watching the competition video

Jeng comes by and says Joke is out with friends celebrating and Joke's dad says "it's good Joke is with friends"

Joke's dad sends the video of mom and grandma to Joke

With the preview for episode 12 alluding to more issues between Joke and his family, Joke's proven temper, his aloofness around people, his propensity to speak like he's been to therapy and his extreme concern over Zo, I think that something bad happened and Joke was the cause. His family/money/connections got him out of it, but he's angry and his family and him had a falling out (except for grandma). Abandoned by everything, he was left alone and in pain until he met Zo, his sun.

That is what is hidden in Hidden Agenda, and it was right in front of our faces the whole time.

[dojae-huh]

Perfume MV behind

This bts is not only interesting in general (outside locations, no solo talks "we hope you'll like it"), but it shows the members and the relationships in a way we seldom see.

Doyoung is very collected during filming, he doesn't waste time of the filming crew with "oh, I'm shy" and giggles, he quickly understands what is wanted form him. The scene under the sheet was shot very quickly, for example.

Jungwoo laughs when he tries to act (triangular theory of love bts), however, he is fast to switch into performing a dance, posing for the camera. 8:32

Jungwoo also seems to be more happy with the unit, than I expected (the need to deal with JaeDo and Jae). Perhaps, it's because he gets to feel more confident. No label of the late addition, no fear of letting others down, no pressure to not be unnoticed. He also stopped fighting Do for dominance and listens to him well now.

4:42 - Doyoung pestering the choreographer wanting to change a part in the choreo. Very him.

Throughout the bts there are many moments of Jae stopping Woo's "advances". 6:13, 8:28, 10:08, 20:35, 20:40

7:52 - the brightest smiles from Jae Woo gets is when Jae laughs at something Woo did wrong, when it's time to mock, heh.

9:20 - this dance before Do was reposted by shippers a lot. The moment at 9:30 (Woo clapping to attract Jae's attention) shows well how Jae gets focused on Do and ignores others.

9:25 - Do hearing and replying to the director. As usual, his role is to be vigilant on stage and manage others.

9:30 - Wasn't as quick to reply this time, was busy smiling and watching Jae, heh.

9:36 - Jaehyun not stopping his action of placing his hand on Do's shoulder despite Woo's hand being already there. Woo pulled back.

9:40 - Jae giving pats on the butt to both Do and Woo

10:33 - the best thing about this moment is how deliberately Jae went around Woo to target Do. He also made sure to grab securely.

18:58 - it shows how comfortable Do is with the staff around now that he can announce his plans to pick up Jae like that

19:24 - Jaehyun not knowing the script. This and the story about not bringing in spare underwear says they weren't told what they were going to film beforehand at all.

19:36 - All those stories about Doyoung wanting a personal driver and sitting on the back sit - a lie.

20:44 - Jae fooling around by the end of the long day because his patience for adulting ran out, heh

22:02 - ૮⍝• ᴥ •⍝ა

22:15 - despite complaining about cliche, Jae quickly extended his hand out to finish Do's idea after DoWoo's "argument"

[innerfeather]

Bikinis and body types

Buying swimwear has always been a drama for me. First you go to the store: you don’t like any of the bikinis they have, either because of the pattern, the shape of because they are just very expensive. You finally find a cute one, but there are none for your size. After half an hour, you decide to try some in the fitting room. You don’t care about if you really like them or not, you are just fed up. The fitting room is either dark or very bright. In either case it is too warm to be comfortable, and the floor is full of dirt. After undressing, you try to put on the first bikini. The top is too big for you, but there were no smaller sizes. The matching panties are OK, but you find them too revealing as your only body part that is feeling some breeze right now is your booty. So far, it overcomes all the expectations, so you leave it on the ‘maybe’ pile. You decide to try another one: the panties are too tight, to the point that you are half immobilized. You try the matching top and, of course, get completely tangled with the straps. There you are, sweating, standing on grime, paralyzed and helpless. When you finally finish in the fitting room, after expending all morning there, your self-confidence has dropped, and you are leaving the shop with an expensive bikini that doesn’t even fit you. Isn’t this the definition of success?

After so many summers going through this nightmare, I have come to learn that my problem is that I don’t know what I am looking for. Mostly I have pinpointed three reasons:

I get easily distracted by cute prints, even if they are kind of tacky when I put them on.

I don’t know what options do I have: what types of panties are there? What tops are comfortable, and which are for modelling?

What bathsuits actually make me look good?

The first problem could be solved if I had a clearer idea of what I am looking for… I guess. Regarding the second problem, I have come to realize this:

Panties can be average, very revealing or really reeeeaaaally revealing. I prefer not too revealing underwear, as I don’t feel comfortable being that nude especially in environments were I feel judged. Fold over, or high waist, are a good option to hide some belly but I don’t think it really suits me, as it turns out as a big diaper… Maybe for other people it is not the case.

Tops are similar to T-shirt necklines: there are asymmetrical, halter, with thick or spaghetti stripes, round or triangular cups. There are some that even look like a cropped top and show no cleavage at all.

And regarding the third issue, the answer I found is somehow tedious: to try on as many bikinis as I can to see what really makes me shine. In an exercise of mindfulness and body positivity, you have to go to the store and try them on, even as the traumatizing nightmare it is. One tip to make it less painful is the following: don’t go with your mother, or your judg-y friend. Go with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It is not like you want to avoid the harsh truth of your mother, the point is that a people that admires you (or is turned on by you), will teach you that your body is beautiful. That you don’t need to hide your tummy, that it is okay to have orange-peel skin, that your love-handles are lovable. This experience was what made my fitting room trauma less of a trauma and more of an empowering moment.

But talking about body types, the classic style theories aim to balance the shapes into an hourglass. Regarding bikinis, it is a path worth trying, in particular if you have no clue about what suits you. At the end I advocate that you should wear what makes you happy, but when there is no joy at all in the search of a bathsuit, a tip or two about what to try on is more than welcome. So here is a compilation of advice I found in several shop blogs and web sites.

For triangle shaped bodies, also known as pear, or spoon, you should try to highlight the upper part of the body. An option is a printed or colorful pattern, or you can as well use a strapless bra to show your shoulders. To distract the attention from your booty (in case you would ever want to do that) you can use solid colors.

For inverted triangle bodies, the body shape can be balanced drawing the focus into the bottom part of the body, using bright-colored panties and ruffles or fringes. You can also se asymmetrical tops to break your shoulder line.

For rectangle body types, you are invited to wear excentric patterns and prints to give shape to your body. You can look for printed tops with ruffles to give volume to your bust. You can also wear triangle cups. To make your hips look curvier, you can try low waist panties with adjustable straps or fringes.

For hourglass shapes, most sources just say, ‘anything will look good on you’, and give none to little advise further than that. This statement is deeply based in the conception that all the other women should try to achieve this shape and that is it. One reached, there is nothing else to do. But I do think that there are many hourglass queens that have no clue about what bikini to choose, and they also deserve some tips. The best advice I’ve read comes from Hunkermöller, a Dutch lingerie shop, that addresses that though you can wear whatever, you should really try a halter top and ensure that you have enough bra support by choosing the correct size. You may need an underwired bra. It also advise to go for solid colors, so there are no distractions from your natural gorgeous body shape.

I must disclaim that many of the websites also consider a fifth body type, round or apple. I do not include this because I don’t think this shape can actually happen in a woman body, unless the pregnant women, that for obvious reasons will have a waist wider that the hips and bust, or very old ladies that tend to have very skinny legs. In general I have the feeling (totally subjective opinion) that most shops and websites tend to ignore the plus-size women bodies: it is not just that there are no sizes higher than XL, it just feels as if they categorize all plus-size in the same bag and don’t attend to their specific needs. Anyhow, if you feel I should also include the round shape in consideration please let me know.

I’d like to add that if you want to improve your wardrobe you can also rely on color theory, which is an issue that I will further explore. In summary it tries to explain what colors suit you better based on your undertone and color intensity of your features. For example, it is not new that pale green won’t ever suit me, as it will make me look sick. I hope you liked this post. Summertime may be a difficult time for some of us, and if this helped you in some way to be more confident or learn something, I am more than happy.