#I do genuinely believe things may have changed for the better even in that one short year in Gusu Lan

[antianakin]

I think you can fit the Force thing into this in a way that feels less clunky too.

Bix has been pulling back from missions because she's getting tired and so she's spending more time on base doing engineering work likely, but there's other engineers/mechanics and there isn't ALWAYS work to be done, so she makes herself useful other places too and this leads her to the healers where she meets this woman who people claim is actually a Force healer of some kind. Bix is obviously a little skeptical of what that means, is this woman actually a Jedi who is trying not to use the title, or just a farce?

Bix goes to talk to her out of pure curiosity and she's not injured so they just talk for a while, getting to know each other. The woman says she's not a Jedi and never has been, never even met a Jedi before so she can't say if what she does is in any way similar to what a Jedi healer would have done, but that she learned her skills from a local village healer on her home planet or something and it's something that's part of an ancient tradition among her people that's never utilized the name "the Force" as a descriptor.

But regardless of what she is or isn't, Bix finds her incredibly soothing to talk to. The woman is great at listening and knowing when to offer advice or just sympathy, she somehow always knows the right thing to say to help Bix feel better and understand herself more. It's through her talks with the Force healer that she starts realizing how much she DOESN'T want this life and doesn't want to stay with the rebellion anymore because she doesn't like the person it's turning her into (or turning her loved ones into).

And maybe when she talks to Cassian about leaving, he's initially upset about it, and he tries to convince her to stay, asking why she's suddenly changed her mind. She explains that it's not sudden at all, that she's been thinking about it for a walk and talked about it a lot with the Force healer. Cassian scoffs at that, saying that the woman clearly doesn't know what she's talking about because one time she'd come up to him out of nowhere when he was eating or fixing a ship or something and told him that he had some kind of great destiny as a messenger or some such bunk. Anything she's told Bix is probably equally as nonsense.

Bix disagrees, says she hadn't known about what the Force healer had said to Cassian but that nothing she'd said to Bix had been anything like that, and that she'd actually really helped Bix heal from the pain and loss and trauma she'd been going through over the last several years. She's not choosing to leave just because of something the healer said, but because she genuinely believes this is what's best for her.

This allows the Force healer to serve effectively the same purpose in the narrative (being the catalyst for Bix choosing to leave) without making it all about how Cassian Is Special instead of about Bix's own development as a character and her feelings about her own life. And the comment about Cassian's destiny is still in there, but it's left more ambiguous as to whether it's true or not and how you personally want it to fit into his narrative because you only really hear about it through Cassian's paraphrasing of it, anyway.

I think this also allows the Force to be integrated into the narrative in a way that feels perhaps less blatant and shoehorned in. It's a lot more prevalent in Rogue One through Jyn's crystal necklace and Chirrut's faith, but it's been included a LOT less in Andor, so it feels like it needed to be brought in in a way that wasn't quite so in your face. I like the idea that there are other Force practices, too, people who ARE Force sensitive in other cultures and have their own ways of using it that aren't Jedi and may not even realize that their practice has been using the same thing that gives the Jedi their powers. It brings in the Force in a way that feels like it's fitting into the themes of Andor and Rogue One of the ways that "the little people" still contribute to the galaxy even if they don't always get recognized or remembered for it.

If they were going to have Bix leave Cassian instead of killing her off (which I do like by the way, I appreciate that she isn't just killed for convenience), they should've swapped her narrative with Cassian's in this season instead.

BIX should've been the one becoming less and less committed to the Rebellion because she just wants to be able to find peace where she can instead of giving what little she has left to this Cause.

CASSIAN should've been the one refusing to leave and becoming more and more committed the more of himself he's given to the Rebellion because who is he if he leaves now, what will it all have been for if he quits NOW.

For one, it fits in better with Cassian's entire arc in Rogue One. Cassian's speech to Jyn at the end when he brings the volunteers to her is that all of them have done awful things for the Rebellion and they don't regret that, but they WILL regret it if they stop fighting now and have to live with knowing it was all for nothing. He can't walk away anymore. Either they take down the Empire or Cassian dies working towards that goal. Those are the only two options for Cassian anymore and that's SO CENTRAL to his character.

For two, it would be an interesting foil to his earlier conversation with Maarva in season 1. People have pointed out that there's a clear PARALLEL between Cassian's two conversations with Maarva and Bix and, to me, what this shows is that Cassian hasn't really developed all that much between the two seasons even though multiple years have passed. He's still not committed to this really, he still somehow believes they can find a quiet place to just hide away from the Empire and have a normal life. But if you turn it around so that now someone else is asking Cassian to walk away from this and Cassian is now the person who refuses to do so and he has to parallel Maarva's "That's just love" line... oof that shit hits SO GOOD and shows how far he's come as a character at the same time.

For three, it allows BIX to develop more as a character. Yes, she's a fighter, and she's strong and competent and fierce. But throughout season 1 she also has so much she's still fighting FOR. She has Timm, she has Cassian, she has Brasso and Maarva and the Paaks and Ferrix in general. She's fighting for her home and her family and her loved ones. But one by one she loses them. Timm is killed, Cassian leaves, Salman Paak is killed, Maarva dies, Ferrix is occupied and then they riot and who knows how much of Ferrix and its people is even left in the aftermath of Rix Road but even if there IS something left Bix has to run from it with no real hope of being able to ever return.

And then we get to season 2 and she almost immediately loses Brasso and B2EMO. The home they'd started to make on Mina-Rau is also something they have to leave behind and the safehouse they're in on Coruscant is clearly not something Bix feels is really a home. She has SO LITTLE left to keep fighting for the way she did before. And it might've been interesting to see Bix, who had been the original rebel on Ferrix, the one who was actually Luthen's connection to the planet and to Cassian, be the one to start losing that conviction because so much of it had been connected to her love for her people and her home and a desire to save it.

Bix is a fighter, yes, but the whole reason she's with Timm at the beginning of season 1 is because she DOES want a more normal life, one that Cassian isn't able to give her even before he becomes a rebel. Bix wants to be able to build a home with her family that she can grow old in and build a life in. She WANTS that, but she also loves her family and her home enough to fight for it when necessary. But then it's all taken away and they keep expecting her to go out and fight and more and more she isn't quite sure WHY she's still doing this. Maybe she's doing similar things to Cassian, maybe she's also having to go out and be an assassin or a saboteur and it GRATES at her because this isn't the person she wants to be, it's not the life she ever thought she'd live, and she wants to take out the Empire and avenge Ferrix and Brasso and all the others who died on Rix Road, but she finally hits a point of no return where she just can't keep fighting like this and making these sacrifices, she CAN'T. And she tries to convince Cassian to come with her because she can see him chipping away at everything she'd loved about him, she can see the way it eats at him too, but Cassian is Maarva's son and now that he's committed himself to this, there's no looking back.

And so Bix leaves, because she knows she deserves more than this and refuses to lose who she is, and Cassian stays, because he knows he'll never forgive himself if he doesn't see this through. Bix finally learns to fight for herself, and Cassian learns to fight for everyone. Maybe it's even amicable. That could be another foil to the conversation with Maarva where he tells her he doesn't understand why she's staying. But this time, as Bix explains why she can't do this, he can understand, because he's BEEN there now. And Bix understands why Cassian can't leave with her, too. There's no animosity between them when they separate. They were on opposing paths and they met in the middle for a while, but now they're at different places in their lives again and they have to say goodbye. They've done this once already and survived, they can do it again.

[monabee-draws]

Me, obsessed with Jiang Cheng's particular brand of inferiority complex: Okay but what if he'd met someone who put him first and made it known? How would this break him? Would his issues with Wei Wuxian be dulled by knowing that he isn't actually 'last' at everything in others' eyes? That someone sees beyond the temper he inherited from his mother. Competes with him at his level in a way that doesn't result in him failing more in his parents' eyes.

Also what if Jiang Yanli was actually allowed to be a competent cultivator and participated more heavily in all the events leading up to and during the Sunshot campaign? Would WWX and JC's fates at the Lotus Pier massacre been different? What if we knew Lan Jingyi's parents and they had roles in the story? What if some of the sect members Xueyang killed over the years survived to get revenge?

I have a simple solution to all of these questions and I've been writing headcanons for days/canon divergence but I'm too scared to actually dip my toes into writing these characters yet. Maybe one day.

[websterss]

THE HAND THAT’S FORCED (2) — ROBERT REYNOLDS

SUMMARY: You hadn’t meant to get attached to Bob, much less fall in love with him. You hadn’t meant for things to slip out right from underneath your grasp. Out of your control, much like Valentina holding your love for one another over your heads.

WARNING(S): SPOILERS!!! angst, some visual descriptions, but nothing too extreme, I believe, dead parent/sibling illusion, Valentina being a horrible being again.

WORD COUNT: 5,164

PAIRING: Robert Reynolds (Sentry/The Void) x fem!reader

A/N: Hope you guys like it. There will be one more part to this now mini series lmfao. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but the ideas kept coming.

MASTERLIST | PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

Valentina had opened the door, the light from the hall greeting the body that lay slumped.

“She’s not dead, is she?” She looked over at Mel, holding a tablet to her chest. She was wearing a black blazer over her white blouse. Her eyes widened as the directed question finally settled into her mind. "Told some people to rough her up a bit, but geezus...look at her."

“Oh! Um…” She rushed forward, her jacket flailing outward as she crouched down, reaching two fingers forward, pressing them against your neck. She glanced at the watch on her wrist. Counting the barely there heartbeats. “Her heartbeat, it’s faint but there…Is she gonna die?” She stood slowly from crouching down before you.

“No. Why? Does her chart imply otherwise, because I need her alive? The kid may be gullible, but the other one…That one is a force to be reckoned with. Though I’m not too sure if he’s even aware of her state. I did separate them for a good while.”

"She should be fine. Her vitals look good. Her energy is still stable. A broken rib or two perhaps." Mel glances up from the tablet in her hand.

Valentina let her shoulders fall. The relief was so obvious that she nearly clicked her heels for you. Probed with genuine concern for your well-being. It was a change from the cold demeanor and indifference she carried for you.

"What is she worth to you?" Mel asked out of curiosity.

"What is she worth to me? She’s leverage, Mel. To sway that other one out there.” Valentina lifted her phone to her line of sight. "Bait him in with her while we still have the upper hand. It came with some force on my end, but she altered his memories before. Just as I hoped she could. Now, if we could just get her close enough to do it again. Come on, let's get a move on with transporting her. Two hands are better than four!"

"Isn't it four hands that are better than two?"

"Two hands!" Valentina called over her shoulder. Gesturing for Mel to follow her with you hauled up in her arms.

She looks back down at you.

“I guess I’m dragging you. Sorry.” She grimaced.

-

You didn't know the length of which you'd been out cold. It hadn't been long before you came to. Shaken, more like. Your disoriented state adjusting to the harsh darkness bleeding through a massive broken window. The tower. You sit up slowly, pushing up with your hands to steady your rise.

"Easy there." A voice spoke to your right, just barely above a whisper. You knew whose voice it belonged to. The false sincerity was evident. “Take it slow now, sweetheart. You’ve been through hell.”

Valentina. You turn your head steadily. Your gaze meets the smile you’ve wanted to slap off her face.

"You-" You muster enough to say. "You sent men after me, and then, they beat me down. Then you drugged me."

"I did." She admitted without a hint of shame. You scoff at her accountability.

"W-Where's Bob? What have you done with him now?"

A moment passed before she responded, the silence growing heavy. Terrorized screams and cries ran past the entrance. You finally glanced around, taking in the rubble of drywall disregarded, the entryway glass windows shattered, as though driven into. Your attention shifts to your left, eyeing the random delivery truck parked inside the building with genuine curiosity.

"Oh, your lover, he's outside right now, thrashing New York City for the umpteenth time, turning people into shadows, that sort of thing. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" She hums.

"Shadows?" You mutter to yourself before you push yourself off the ground, your legs try to give as you stand. "No...It's taken control over him again. It's happening again like it did in the lab." Your eyes shut.

She took note of your confusion, watching your movements carefully. "What do you mean, like it did in the lab?"

"You have no idea what we witnessed in Malaysia. It was something unexplainable. Way beyond our jurisdiction and capabilities, and you never bothered to try and hear us out. You have no idea what you're dealing with."

"You're right." Valentina conceded, taking a step forward. "I have no idea what we're dealing with…but what I do know is how you managed to go this far, this whole time, and not tell a single soul the abilities you possess. I mean a telepath? Mental manipulation, and a PHD under your belt. You're a shoo-in for the front cover of the New York Times, sweetheart."

Absolute dread consumes you.

Her lips curled into a smirk, noting your panic. "Oh, don't act so surprised. Your mother was quite a special lady, I hear. Talk about mother of the year, am I right? Those developed mommy issues, I’m sure. God, what kind of parent experiments on their own child?"

“She was unwell. S-She was lost after we lost my father.” You try to justify her actions like you'd done for half your life.

"Right…" Valentina stepped forward once more, the coolness of her breath hitting your face. "You always defend your mother's abuse? Even I know better than to believe that she wasn't anything but mentally unstable, not that you'd ever admit it, as I can see."

"What do you want from me?"

"Information. A way to control him." Her words were straightforward. No beating around the bush. Your gaze was drawn to the slight bruising forming around her neck.

Your stance grows confident, as does your smirk. "This is way above your pay grade, huh?"

A scoff escaped her lips. "You're gonna go out there, use that bond you created with him to your advantage, and alter his memory."

Was she serious?

"You really believe altering his memories will stop this chaos?" You scoff at her this time. "You're in over your head, lady."

She paused, taking a moment to examine your reluctance. "Then what would you suggest to stop him?" She complained.

"I don't know-"

"Then how the hell can you stand there and claim that I'm the one in over my head? The nerve you have, kid-"

"Look, the last time we dealt with him this way. Two of our doctors died. I was a last resort to bring him down from his own mind, they thought I could talk to him, since I was the only one he was comfortable around, but-"

"Perfect! We'll use that then." Valentina was satisfied with the idea and started dragging you outside.

"No wait! You don't know what you're dealing with, Valentina. I wasn't able to-" You grunt as she shoved you out onto the road. You catch your bearings as you peer up at her with anguish.

"I don't care what we're dealing with. You're gonna fix this and put this city back to the way it was, or so help me!"

"Just stop and listen for once! I can't help him the way you think I can. I-It didn't wo-" You begin to shake your head until you flatten against the concrete. Left as a shadowed victim in her wake. Valentina falters backward. Peering at the shadow of you that begins spreading like a wildfire.

"Shit!" The silence that followed Valentina's panicked outburst was unsettling.

-

“Where do you go…” Bob looks up from the IV you inserted into his left vein. “When you’re not here…with me?”

You paused your insertion, then continue putting tape over the line to prevent it from falling out of his skin. His curious eyes make the corners of your lips curl up.

“Home.” Your tone was casual as can be. “I-I go home. Then come back here to do it all over again.” You pick up your chart and jot notes down. They’d kill you on sight if your documentation was behind. They wouldn’t be able to rely on the existence of your tests if there’s no proof of you doing them.

“What’s something you like to do for fun?”

You feel the gentle caress of his fingertips, pushing back a strand that got in the way of his view of you.

Your pen stops moving as you tilt your head up. His eyes soften as he timidly curls the hand on your face around to cup your neck. A small gasp leaves you as a flash crosses the forefront of your mind. A little girl watches from behind an ajar door, peeking inside a lab where a disheveled woman, near right, trashes her equipment. ‘It’s not working? Why isn’t it working?’ The woman exclaims. Bob's voice pulls you back.

He watches how your face goes blank for a split second until life flashes across your eyes again. He didn’t mean to make you relive a memory. A new ability of his that he had yet to gain control over.

“I’m sorry.” He goes to pull his hand back. “I didn’t mean to make you see that-“

“You can’t help it.” You reassured. “But umm…besides talking to you and the guinea pigs…” You breathe a nervous laugh, wanting to make light of the troubling memory you saw. His grin widens a bit as he senses the notion of your teasing. “I like to write sometimes. Reading is what I do most, though.”

“W-What do you write about?” He focuses his attention on caressing your skin with his thumb. Taken by your good nature, how pure you were compared to the others who manhandled him. Your touch was always so sweet, gentle.

He hated himself more than ever in this moment; he made you relive a memory unintentionally. He couldn’t help that when he came into contact with someone, they’d get a relapse of their past.

“Anything. Everything. My life. What life could be. How my life could have been. Though it's mostly about a girl who wants to live a life that's not her own, someone who's entered this false fantasy she craves more than anything. I don’t like to dwell too much on reality when writing honestly. It’s trying to escape it, I write more of.”

"D-Do you think your writing helps you to cope...with reality? From certain pain."

"It distracts me for a short while." Your eyes flutter as he continues to trace your neck to your jawline. The slight twitch of your muscles didn't go unnoticed by him. His thumb gently presses just a bit under your ear in response. "It's temporary, though. An...illusion. It only helps so much. You still have to come back to reality at the end of the day. You can never escape from what’s truly real."

“That’s a bit ironic, no?” Bob’s brows furrow in thought. His smile remains the same. Gentle and serene. “Wanting to run from reality doesn’t seem like something a doctor like you would do, since you’re all about the science and the logic of things?”

"Science and logic doesn't always have to be applied to all things in life." You respond nonchalantly as you make another mark on your paper. A soft hum escapes you as he continues to rub your neck with his thumb at the same time. "I prefer to see things from a variety of perspectives, through emotions, for example."

He nods, taking in your response. He's not too surprised that a woman like you isn't confined to thinking one particular way. For one, you never saw him as a weapon, a subject to be tested on. He wasn’t another candidate, he was just Bob to you, and you were Y/n to him.

You tilt your head up, your gaze meeting his once more. “Just because I'm a scientist doesn't mean I'm not human. I have vices. I have opinions. I have feelings. I have fears as much as I do doubts. I have weaknesses...As I have certain strengths." You mutter the last bit. Bob locks eyes with you. His eyes softened. “So yes, I suppose it may seem ironic, but when you know certain truths, you start to wonder if logic and reasoning are enough anymore to justify the reality of them.“

Bob’s gaze remains locked onto yours, his smile disappearing as he seems to get caught up in his thoughts. He seemed hesitant to speak aloud. He continues to gently rub your neck, the touch of his thumb on your skin sending ripples down your spine.

After a few moments of him not saying anything, you speak up. "Penny for your thoughts?"

“I-I know exactly what that feels like and I wanna kiss you for it…”

Your head snapped up instantly, your eyes widening in surprise. You can visibly see that Bob's demeanor has changed. The calm, gentle aura he had before has turned into something much more intense, something much more charged and desperate and full of want. His grip on your neck tightens just a bit. His gaze is fixed on your lips, as if he's been starved.

The faint flicker between his amber eyes then to his blue ones had you wanting to take precaution like they taught you all to do, but you don’t remove his grasp on your neck, and let him in. Let him kiss you. It wasn’t long until Bob wrapped a hand around your waist to tug you closer.

“She was your person…” Yelena‘s heart hammers with guilt. The others quietly take in the tender scene unfolding.

“S-She’s the only one who saw me.” Bob’s eyes tear up at the sight of you and him together. “And I couldn’t save her, I-” Bob flinches as another you enters the room they’re all in, the door having been slammed open.

“What’s this one?” Yelena reaches for her gun by her side, having been startled by your appearance as well.

“I don't know…” Bob’s brows furrow as he watches this version of you, fear-stricken. “I don’t have any memories of this, at all.”

“Y/n?” Bob sat up.

“Bob! Oh my god, thank god!” You exclaim, rushing forward to cup his face. “You're okay. I’ve missed you!”

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” Bob was startled by your hurried entrance. He hadn’t seen you for months. Then he woke up alone with no clue where he was, and now you appeared out of the blue.

“I don’t have much time-“ You hurried around the space, frantically pulling out a syringe and a bottle. "Valentina will know I'm here and send people after me."

“Wait, what do you mean?” Bob steps back.

“I need to hurry. I gotta get you out of here.” Your shaking hands fumbled with the syringe. Bob reaches for them. Another memory pulling you from this reality at his touch. You stood still, motionless, until Bob pulled back, guilt eating at his features as he heard you gasp. You looked around, out of breath, until your gaze settled on him once again. You were still here. You were still here with him.

“I-I don’t understand-“Bob's brows furrow as he holds his hands out.

“They don't know that you made it through the final trial.” You stop altogether, meeting his scared eyes. "That you're alive. Valentina only knows what I've been telling her, but they don't know. I can get you out of here while I still can. We can go like we talked about. O-Our mediocre picket fence cliche." You breathe out a laugh. "We've got to go now, though!"

“Alive? But I am alive! Why would she think otherwise…” Bob’s innocence always seemed to fill you with dread. You close your eyes.

“Because I told her you didn't.” You peer open your eyes. Finding his resolve disappearing.

“You what?”

“I was never gonna go through with it. The others didn't make it, and when you came to us in Malaysia, every test we ran kept working...Your trials exceeded our expectations. The way things were heading, though, they were only gonna weaponize you. I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand with them, while you only endured more pain. You have to know this! It’s why you woke up.” You held his arms. Eyeing his entire being, head to toe. He wasn’t scarred or injured. He was fine. “I had to make it look real, but she knows now. She found out about what I did.”

“I don’t remember this.” Bob walked towards the replica of yourself. “She told me she wanted to out Valentina's secrets to the public? This isn't my memory.” Bob shakes his head. "I don't remember this!"

The memory glitched. Your body convulsed until the memory glitched once more, and the next you were kneeling before him, crying.

"I don't want to. I don't want to. You took them from me." You choked back a sob. You were talking to yourself.

"Y/n? Don't want to what?" He cupped your face.

"I'm so sorry..." A tear fell down your face before your hands reached up, cupping his face. You gasped before his body gave, and he slumped into your shoulder. You cradled him close. Closing your eyes as you kissed his hair.

“Well, if it’s not yours, then whose is it?” John questioned.

“I-It’s mine.” Their heads whip around. Your disheveled state catches them off guard. You’d been walking for what felt like hours through various doors of your past. All filled with some form of pain, guilt, and dread, you had to endure. Much like this one. “Hi.”

Bob’s shoulders dropped when he realized that it was really you. You curled in on yourself as five suited figures stared back at you. All curious, all wondering the same thing, like how the hell you’d end up here with all of them.

“Y/n…” Bob called out your name as though it made it all the more real. “I’m dreaming. I must be dreaming.” He shook his head as you grew closer.

“If you’re here, then…you weren’t dead when I found you.” Yelena was taken by her realization. Your pulse had been nonexistent when she checked. Now you stood amongst them, facing your own demons like theirs in the void. “You were dead.” She stated. "I felt no pulse. They beat the shit out of you."

You nodded, peering up at the blonde, lifting your chin, which was facing the ground. “They call it Tetrodotoxin B; it slows the heart to one beat per minute. It’s how I slowed Bob’s to trick them into thinking he didn't make it.” Your voice croaks, dread overconsumes you.

“She wanted me dead,” Bob states. "I thought she got you, too."

Your hands shake, tears falling past your waterline. You shake your head. An ache returns to the forefront of your mind, but it settles in your chest. “Valentina can eat shit. You can't take me down that easily." You shrug, a faint smile on your face. You were worn out.

"Y-You changed my memories." Bob's bottom lip trembled. "Could you do that all this time we were together? I never knew you could do that."

"Since I was fifteen, and I only altered it." You reassured. "Gave you a reality that wouldn't hurt as much to remember."

"The memory with Valentina holding a gun at you-"

"I gave it to you. It wasn't real, but keeping us apart was real. Her sending her men to beat the shit out of me. Real. I'm good now." Your voice cracks with exhaustion.

"You told me you were, are you still, is that real?" You gathered what he was trying to ask in front of the others. Your own dam broke. You begin to shake your head no.

"No." You mutter. "I'm not pregnant. What you saw was an altered memory of my mother and father."

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"What are you?" Ava speculated.

"My mom's lab rat." That was all you gave them. You didn't want to pursue the memory of her in whatever this place was. "Gone wrong..."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" You look over to Bob.

“I thought I was protecting you…I didn't want to add on to here.” Your voice cracks, lightly tapping his temple. “I can give anyone any memory, make them see something great or horrific rather than something they want to forget. I wasn't gifted with the ability to take away any of the bad ones, though.” You couldn’t stop the tears from falling. "Why would she do this to me? I can do something incredible, but it's flawed. It's good for a specific use, when it could be something greater." You push your arms outward in question. You pause before continuing, catching your breath. "She got them like she said she would, my family." Your voice cracks. "After she found out I knew you were alive, she made me watch. So now there's not much left for me to mourn over...but I'm damned if she tries to kill you.”

A curdle scream made you all flinch, four shots firing off, but two dead bodies dropping over, the telltale signs of your trauma. You peer at them, your brother, your mother. Numb to the sight, but the ache lingered like a burned-out candle.

“What is this place, Bob…?” You mutter as the gory imagery fades into another illusion. Yelena steps over to you, placing a steady hand around your forearms, pressing her head against yours gently. You look back at Bob, who stared at the spot where your mom and younger brother lay. Then he turned back to you. Reaching out for your touch.

"A void." Bob presses his nose into your hair for comfort. You lean into his embrace, comforted by the soft texture of his jumper. "Where'd you come from?"

"I don't know, Valentina threw me out onto the street. Thinking I could sway your void-self. Which I got to hand it to her, she had high expectations." You scoff. "I'm sure he took one look at me and well...here I am going through endless doors of hell." You laugh at your own predicament.

"How dare he..." Bob's gaze softens. “I would’ve left you alone.” He muttered, holding onto you in a way he had been deprived of for months. You let a soft chuckle escape your lips as you buried your face in his chest, soaking up the heat that radiated off of him. The steady beating of his heart was a sound you’d heard plenty of times before, but you took the time to appreciate it anyway. You feel his lips place a soft kiss down on top of your head, melting away your burdens.

"I know you would've." You peer up at Bob, but he doesn't meet your gaze. Instead, he stared dead ahead, glaring at the empty void that now presented itself before you all. The others exchanged uneasy looks. "Bob?" You called out softly, but he remains still. You finally glanced around. "This is the lab..." You push back from him. Your gaze settles on your workstation. Moments, flashes of laughter, and grunts of frustration are displayed like a broken record.

"He's not gonna come back, is he?" A timid-natured Bob looks back towards the entryway. Then settles his gaze on you. He reaches forward to fix the collar of your lab coat.

"No. He's out for a bit. You can relax."

"Hey, Y/n-"

"Mhm." You're writing something in your notebook.

"If it doesn't work out tomorrow-"

"It will!" You turn, facing him, to calm his worries.

"Y-You don't know that. I mean, anything could go wrong. Surely something is going to go wrong-"

"I do." You nod, but you sound uncertain.

"It's okay if it doesn't. I know you've always had my best interests. You've been there for me when no one else has. It's okay if the procedure doesn't go the way you want it to."

"No, I don't think it will be. Okay, I mean. I don't know if anything will ever be fine again if it doesn't work."

You step closer to the limited fond memory. Another flash appears before the previously existing one fades.

"Will it hurt?"

You tilted your head at the sight of yourself, first meeting him.

"No. You shouldn't feel a thing. It’s just got a bit of a sting, more like a poke. H-Have you ever pricked your finger on something? Maybe a splinter stuck in your skin. A needle point, maybe even a-"

"Does a slap count as a sting?"

"Oh...Um, I-I suppose it could, but trust me when I say it won't feel as bad as-" You gasped as you stumbled into the bed's edge, he sat perched on.

"Dr Y/L/N?" Your eyes rolled to the back of your head before you fell to the ground. Bob panicked as he lurched forward in an attempt to save you from your head crashing against the hard, cold floor.

"H-Help! Can someone help! S-She needs help in here!" Bob cradled you in his arms, calling out to any listening ears, before he was dragged into your memories.

"I've been here already," Yelena tilts her head.

You shift your attention, being drawn towards the eerie figure sitting on the bed.

"This is where it all started. I was roaming around Southeast Asia, thought I'd figure something out, or at least find more drugs." You step with Bob as he cautiously tells his story. "Then there's this guy. He started talking to me about a medical study. A trial drug that can make me stronger. I met Y/n shortly after that. It felt like a miracle...I'd finally get to show everyone that I was more. That I was something."

"And look what you unleashed." The void spoke. His head lifted as he got up to round the bed. "The most shameful thing of all was thinking you could be anything more than nothing."

"We're leaving." Yelena straightened her back as she stood before the Void.

"...No."

Before you knew it, your air circulation was being prevented as you fell to your knees before the dark figure.

Yelena made a beeline for you, only to get thrown back with Alexei. The rest of the group followed your demise. Wrapping them in metal and wires against your work stations and the back wall.

Void chuckled under his breath as he lifted his gaze to meet your eyes, locking you in place. “You thought I’d show you mercy? You limited us. Fed us false hope. Love is weak. Why should we spare you? You don't care about him. You don't accept this part of him. Bob and I will remain alone.” He taunted, gripping tighter, forcing your windpipe shut. You watched helplessly as you were thrown around like a ragdoll, then fell a few feet from Bob, still grasping for air as you clutched at your neck, tears welling up in your eyes. No one there to soothe you.

Bob watched in stunned horror. He couldn't move, but you saw his body tense, fight response kicking in.

"D-Don't listen t-to him, Bob- please!" You rasp out in labored breaths.

The mention of his name snaps him out of his stance. He focuses his attention on you. Worry was a clear indicator across his eyes, but he stood his ground in front of the Void. Moving his body to block his view of you.

"Stop. J-Just let them go." Bob pleaded.

"You think they care about you? You don't matter. To anyone." The Void replied, his tone sounding smug.

"That's not true-ugh!" Yelena's protests of pain were emitted out loud. A wire tightened around her neck

"We do care about him-argh!" You exclaim, an immense pain pulsing in the center of your chest. You choke back on air, raising a hand to your chest, grabbing at the sting that settled in it. Your body gave up as you fell to your side slowly.

"Don't hurt her..." Bob responded. "We don't hurt her."

"She won't last." The Void, not done hazing the group, pushed glass particles towards all of you. A few miniature cuts were caused by the sharp pieces. "Robert the hero." He chuckled darkly.

To instigate him further, he felt the need to forcefully pull you towards him. He gave you a moment's worth of rest before his shadowed hand gripped itself around your neck. Lifting you off the ground five inches. You grasped at them, trying to pry them off you.

"Let her go."

"No." The Void pulled you closer to him. Its shadowed demeanor added to the fear you felt when you pushed against it. The two orbs for eyes did nothing but unsettle you. He leaned in, pressing his nose against your temple much like Bob had done earlier in a comforting manner.

Bob stepped forward, squaring his shoulders like a lion guarding its territory. "I'm stronger than you."

"Let's see." He tilted his head. Then he was shoving you onto the ground beside Bob in a split second

It didn't take Bob long to rush at him. You slumped onto your side. Your head resting against the cold ground. Your energy was drained as you tried to regain oxygen in your system. "N-No."

Void and he went at it for a few seconds. Punching, dodging. Though Void got the upper hand as Bob was sent to the floor.

"Get up, Bobby!" John encouraged.

"You thought you were gonna be some great man. Some savior." Void mocked him, Bob slowly pushing himself off the floor. "You can't even save yourself." Bob lurched forward again. Until he received multiple punches to his gut. Void threw in a good lick across his jaw before he sent him to the ground once more.

"Bob, get up...get up." Your outcry made him meet your gaze.

"We will always be alone."

If you didn't think it couldn't get worse, you were wrong, as the room expanded. Increasing the distance between you all and Bob. Out of reach.

Bob pushed up a bit, glancing at each one of you, before he made up his mind. Turning to run, to tackle Void to the ground. The ongoing right and left hooks never ended as the room began to shake and tear itself apart.

"This isn't right." Bucky shook his head.

"Bob, stop!" Yelena called out.

"It's taking over him again..." You close your eyes, feeling lightheaded. You peer down at your side, your hand pressing into your abdomen, pulling it back to take in your red-coated palm. You were bleeding. Void's manacled laughter growing as Bob continued punching the shit out of him, did not easing your worries. "T-This is what he wants..." You mutter to the rest of them before your vision grows foggy.

"Y/n?" Bucky tries to push against the light protector wrapped around him. "Hey, kid!" Bucky grunts.

With all his strength left, Alexei freed Yelena. She made a run for it. Towards Bob. Your vision gives as the last thing you see is her wrapping her arms around him.

[moontopuff]

YOU'VE CHOSEN: GEORGE WEASLEY

WHEN HE REALIZED HE LIKES YOU

I think he realized it on a normal evening, you were sitting in Gryffindor common room with twins; you on the couch, Fred on the armchair of course, and George sitting on a carpet in front of you. They were talking about their new invention; Fred mostly talked about the outcome of said thing and how testing was going, meanwhile, George was talking about how he came up with the idea. It wasn't much known in the Hogwart, but George was better at potions; better at making them and changing proportions to make something new.

you, of course, knew that, but you couldn't help but see that sometimes George was a little bit shy about his knowledge, as if it would make him a not good enough Weasley twin or something. Honestly, you couldn't know.

but, u didn't want him to feel any less because of this, so, you were listening intently to the origin story of making up this new thing, and when he ended you complimented him:

“Honestly, it’s all in the potion proportions!” George declared, his eyes lighting up as he spoke. You leaned closer, captivated, sensing the flicker of uncertainty in his voice. He always seemed to second-guess his brilliance, as if it might be too much for the room. “That’s so cool, George! You really know your stuff,” you said, breaking in as Fred rambled on about the grand plans for their next prank. “What if you added more of the—what was it—Gillyweed? Would it be more dangerous, or would it just go kaboom?” George blinked, taken aback by your enthusiasm, a shy smile creeping onto his face. His cheeks flushed a soft pink, and he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not expecting your genuine interest. “Maybe both!” he replied, a hint of excitement in his voice. It was a quick reaction, and to mask the sudden warmth in his cheeks, he slid back into his usual, mischievous teasing self. “Ohh, should I expect you to get a crush on me now, for my incredible potion skills?” You rolled your eyes, laughter bubbling up. “Shut up, George!” you shot back, a playful smile on your lips. With a grin, you turned to Fred. “Now we know who the smarter twin is~” George’s laughter mingled with yours, as Fred pouted. As 'smarter' twin met your gaze and saw your smile, something shifted in him—a spark of something deeper, something new, and he wasn't just sure if he liked it or not

CRUSHING ON YOU:

he gives you sweet but joking-sounding compliments, wanting to make you smile/blush but not being obvious with it

started seeking your presence in every room; the great hall, classes, outside, or quidditch playground. He just wanted to see you, hoped to see you, and was over the moon when he actually saw you

after that one time you complimented his potion skills; every time twins show you their new invention he unconsciously seeks your compliment. He may not know this himself, but you realized it, after one time you didn't say anything about his role in the thing, and he looked like a pouting, sad puppy...

him actually beaming after you compliment him

sometimes, his eyes subconsciously drop to your lips when talking to you

George would start helping you carry your books to classes. He would reason it, that he's doing it for something else you did (u never have idea what he's talking about), but he just doesn't want to admit it yet.

his heartbeat faster every time you suddenly touch him or show him any affection. Of course, he hides it with his usual playful expression, but he leans in your touch, and just hopes you're obvious to that

when it's crowded in the hall, he likes to put his hand on the small of your back to make sure you don’t get separated. First time he did it, you were flustered as crazy, and he didn't even realize what he did until you were already in the class! When he realized, he just joked that it's because you're getting lost too easily, but do you really believe in that...?

Him getting flustered yet excited to see you cheering over him (and Fred) during Quidditch matches. When it's a hot moment you even call his twins names, and it helps his determination (he has to win for you)

teacher catching him gazing lovingly at you. Sometimes they just let it slide because *young love*, but sometimes they ask him what he's doing and he comes up with an excuse or just shrugs

He’d find himself staring at you even in the Great Hall, as everyone is eating, and isn't it quite something for one of the Gryffindors to stare lovingly at Hufflepuff table?

unconsciously starts talking and thinking more about you when you aren't around. Like, the classes you don't share together, and something happens and he's like "Y/N would scrunch her nose and giggle at that, I can just see it" or while you eat at your house table, and George casually starts talking about you to Fred and Jordan "Isn't she clumsy, lately? Nearly fall on her face while going today to the library!" not realizing his obvious puppy eyes.

George, being the more emotional twin, enjoys just being his calm, sometimes worried or serious self with you. He's happy that you don't only like him (and Fred) for being funny guys, but also like him when he's too tired or too worried of being a fun guy. He likes having emotional and serious conversations with you.

CONFESSING TO YOU

He didn't want to confess to you for the longest time, not because he's shy, but because he's insecure. He loves Fred more than anything, but he can't help but sometimes feel that people prefer him. And so, he was bloody terrified, that you would be just another person who would prefer his twin. And he couldn't hear you say it, because it would break him, he knew that.

so it wasn't until Fred finally decided to speak with him about matter. Encourage him, tell him that Geroge is your favourite twin and it's obvious to everyone. And after a few days of that, he finally confessed to you.

people would assume that being Weasley twin, George would be confident and confess with a boom, but no. At said time he felt like nervous wreck, feeling his palms sweating, and his tongue-tied as if hexed. Nonetheless, one evening, as you two were strolling through the school grounds, he finally confessed with a nervous smile.

And you? Well... You couldn't be happier.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM

simp, soft bf, pouting when you're annoyed at him

loves you to the moon and back

compliments you everyday, from general to very specific things

"You're the most beautiful person in the Great Hall.""That mole you have on [place] suits you well. I love it. Can I kiss it?"

after you two started dating, he started doing unconscious things, like fixing your clothes after hugging you or having out session, and also fixing your hair when the wind makes it all in your face. It's like breathing for him

Forehead kisses. holding hands always. back hugs at random times.

You were already comfortable with him as friend, but now, as you are with him, you feel that you can turn off your brain, and be hundred percent sure that he will make sure you will not get hurt.

he’ll never ever cross your boundaries (unless you want him too?)

he’s in touch with his emotions, so you’ve probably seen him cry and be furious a few times.

somehow you made a habit of napping on each other's shoulders. Sometimes even on each other's thighs...

he always lean into your touch, even when he's with his brother or friends. he would never be embarrassed of loving you

normally isn't easy to be flustered, but when it comes to you... well, let me tell you, that you have your ways of making his cheeks pink

as your bf he will sometimes do silly, gentleman things like; holding an open door for you, trying to stall stairs for you so u can make it on time, or leave some cute paper charms on your table.

will treat you like royalty you are

when you're too tired to get back to your own common room, he would give you a piggy back ride

pretty sure, he would give you massages when you're tired (in exchange for a kiss ;))

he wants to know even more about you

wanting to - somehow - be part of your hobby. For example; if u like reading, he would ask you to read out loud for him, or ask to borrow your fav book, so you would have a new share topic to talk about. And if you like make-up, he will gladly let you use himself as your model (and will be pretty serious if you ask him which look you did, he prefers!). And if you like sports/quidditch, he will train with you or be your biggest cheerleader. He just wants to support you.

so he may, or may not, make this invention especially for you (not for the prank, but to brighten your day and make you smile)

tickle fights

you wearing his jumpers, obv

holds your hand when anxious

now that you're together, he doesn't only stare lovingly at you at classes, but also holds your hand under the desk

cheering for him in every Quidditch game and even wearing his shirt to show your support (unless it's against Hufflepuff... then you're supporting both teams)

him showing off on his broom, making sure you're looking at him

him flying straight to you, after the end of the game (includes sweaty kisses)

your outside make-out sessions are often interrupted by curious animals coming closer to you (he's used to it, he knows that animals just like you, but can't they be curious when he doesn't have his tongue in your mouth??)

you stealing some food from Kitchens and bring it to your bf, when you know he's working on their new intention (he often forgets about eating)

him being surprised seeing you as if it was the first time, but tiredly grinning at you, giving you a quick kiss, and a strong hug, to keep himself going through the night

him grinning at you lovingly, as he's observing you naming the plant he gave you

if u have an allergy to something or just don't like specific food, he makes sure Molly knows it before he invites you to burrow. He may be a tricker but he knows when to hold himself, because he never wants to seriously hurt you or upset you

as his partner, you're making it to the stadium of Molly's favourite in-laws, placing you next to Harry & Hermione

overall, he loves you like crazy, you understand each other and support each other, love full of cuddles and emotional support

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

If you would like to read again how you met twins and how friendship with them looked like: [Click]

If you decided to change the twin: [Fred Weasley route]

[lemotmo]

All the reasons why I’m pretty sure this isn’t really Bobby’s funeral:

ONE: Tim and the show would never allow anything that big to leak.

From a TV show perspective it doesn't make a lick of sense. It does make sense however if you use this as ‘free promo’. They already used this tactic once before with the 'leaked' Buddie hug scene.

Think about it. We are always complaining that 911 doesn’t promote their show enough. But week after week we get bts shot by ordinary people like you and I. Those pics and videos are then spread all over social media to hype up the masses. It’s the best promo and it’s FREE. 🤷‍♀️

TWO: The Gerrard factor.

We have seen bts of Gerrard being the new 118 Captain. I do not believe for a single minute that Gerrard would want to come back to the 118, because he has got a great job on the Hot Shots set. Next to that, he was almost fully redeemed 🙄 when he helped Hen and Karen get Mara back. And if he would come back? He would never go back to his old ways of being an asshole. If there is anything he learned from Bobby? It is how to be a better Captain.

THREE: Not enough tears.

Why was no one crying at that funeral? Where were the tissues and the red-rimmed eyes? Chim’s face looked teary, but the others? You would at least expect May, Harry and Athena to be hit hard with this. But there was nothing. It was almost emotionless. That is not how you say goodbye to a great character as Bobby Nash. You would show the audience that his family and friends are going ‘through’ it by having them cry and show emotions. 😭

FOUR: The laughing and joking in between takes.

If Bobby was really dead? The actors would want to stay ‘in the moment’ of one of their own dying. Next to that, they would be sad about Peter leaving. They wouldn’t be joking around like this. They even took a picture in front of the casket, making funny faces. 😬

FIVE: Why was Tommy there?

The man isn’t part of the 118 and he has broken up with Buck. In fact, him and Buck parted on bad terms in 8x11, so what is he doing there? And walking in front as well? It doesn’t make any sense for him to be there up front.

Now I could understand that Tommy wanted to pay his respects to Bobby, but he would never be in that front position. It isn't his place.

I can definitely understand Gerrard being there, because he did take a liking to Bobby in the end. The man helped him get his new job.

SIX: Where were Bobby’s mom and brother?

These characters were just introduced and reunited. No way that they wouldn’t be there for that funeral. Especially Charlie, because he seemed like a really nice guy who genuinely loved his brother.

SEVEN: The switching name on the turnout jacket.

In the first bts we clearly see ‘Nash’ on the jacket, but then it randomly changes to ‘Carusso’? That is odd. There was no reason to hide the Nash jacket anymore, because it was literally one of the first things that leaked, after the funeral parade.

Also... who is Carusso? Have we ever seen a character or an extra with that name?

EIGHT: Hot Shots actor in a scene?

Now I’m not entirely sure about this one, because it might just be a coincidence. But in the bts from the scene where Chimney is yelling at Gerrard that he was only half a Bobby? One of the firefighters is called ‘Sanchez’ and he has a moustache. He was supposed to be the Eddie counterpart on Hot Shots. Why was he there?

NINE: The El Paso fire engine.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this might just have been because they needed more fire engines and they reused the ones they already had. They can always digitally edit out the El Paso on the side. However, it was right there ‘front and center’ carrying the big American flag. Why would they use that car specifically to be so out in the open? They could have used one of the other real LAFD engines. Instead they used the El Paso one. So they can have more work editing everything out? It doesn’t make sense. 🤷‍♀️

TEN: Ryan/Eddie walks a bit in front of the others.

Now this one is far-fetched and possibly delusional. I agree. But remember I slept about an hour and a half last night after I was up all night going mentally insane over the funeral bts. 🥱

But when you look at the bts footage Eddie stands out in his suit, walking a tiny bit in front of the others, as if he needed to stay in front of them, so they could get a good shot of him. I’m actively wondering if all of this might actually be connected to him somehow.

Like, what if something happens to Eddie and he dreams up this ‘what if’ scenario where he no longer has a place on the 118, because Bobby died. He goes back to LA for the funeral and decides to stay and claim his spot on the team again. But then Gerrard takes over for some reason and denies him the job. He instead gives it to Tommy, who is now also back together with Buck and maybe living with him in Eddie’s old house. So Eddie won’t be able to live there anymore.

He will then basically see that everything he has ever loved and wanted (his job, his 118 family, his house and Buck) is no longer in his grasp and he will hate all of it.

Now remember… this is all highly speculative. We don’t know enough about the rest of the season to actually call this one ‘plausible’. But I feel like this might be something that 911 would be capable of doing. It is such a big trope when it comes to slow burn romances. I cannot help but think that they’ll want to touch upon as many romantic tropes as they can with Buddie, before they actually put them together.

ELEVEN: The Brad stories made by Oliver.

Oliver is a menace and I love him so.😋 He posted those two Brad pics (one where he is hugging Bobby and another one of just Brad) and then removed them after a few seconds. He knew exactly there would be people out there to take screenshots. What was the reason though? It has to be connected to that funeral we saw.

How? I’m not sure yet. We’ll have to see about that when we get more information about episode 16 and beyond.

TWELVE: The Peter Krause and Angela Bassett factor.

I don’t think that Peter is ready to leave 911 yet. He loves being on that show and he himself said in an interview in 2024 that he isn’t thinking of stopping just yet.

In another interview Angela stated that there couldn’t be an Athena without Bobby or something in that vein. Bathena is such a core couple on 911. Athena has already lost two loves: Emmett and Michael. One of them got killed. I don’t think they’ll do that to Athena for a third time. 911 simply is NOT that kind of show.

THIRTEEN: The Tim Minear factor.

Tim doesn’t kill off his main characters. He has no problems killing off guest characters, but when it comes to the mains? Nah. He knows exactly how popular Bobby and Athena are. They bring in a lot of viewers. I’m absolutely certain that there are people out there who would stop watching the show if one of these two characters died.

Tim did say that something would happen that would affect all the characters. I’m sure they are now trying to make us think that this is the event: Bobby dying.

But I’m thinking it might not all be what we think it is. Something else might happen that will change lives. Again, we can’t know that without enough information about the rest of the season. So we’ll have to wait and see.

But for now though… I’m thinking about 8x13 ‘Invisible’. I’m sat for Hen saving the day and for Eddie finally calling out his controlling mother. And maybe some Buddie hints in between all of that. 🙂‍↕️

[ghostlyferrettarot]

💕Pick a Picture: ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴Channeled letter from your Soulmate ༘⋆♡⸝⸝💌⊹。°˖➴

₊˚ʚ ₊💌˚✧ ﾟ🤍 𝓗𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓓𝓪𝔂₊˚ʚ ₊💌˚✧ ﾟ🤍

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

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🛸Masterlist🛸

ʚ🩷ɞ Pile 1:

"Hello, my love:

We haven't met yet in the time we know, but I feel your energy close by. Sometimes, in the quietest moments, I close my eyes and I can imagine what it will be like the first moment I see you, how everything will seem to align, as if everything has led to this very moment.

I want you to know something: I am already here, thinking of you, even though I can't show you yet. You may not see it, but I feel a little closer every day. And in this space, I want you to trust that everything you have lived, everything you have experienced, is leading me right to you. Your strength, your vulnerability, your moments of light and shadow... are building me a clear image of how wonderful you are.

So don't worry about when or how, because love comes when it has to. I promise it won't be rushed, or forced. You don't need to be perfect for me; none of that really matters. All I want is for you to be yourself, as authentic as you are, because that's the person I want to share my life with.

With all my love that I haven't given you yet ;),

Your future lover"

💘 Channeled song from your person:

ʚ🩷ɞ Pile 2:

"Hello, my love:

Maybe this message comes at a time when you feel like everything is on pause, or that things are not going their course. And I want to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, that everything is happening exactly as it has to be. There is nothing that is out of place. We are at different points, but somewhere in this space that we share, we are already connected.

I want you to know that I am waiting for you, although not in the sense of waiting as something passive. No. I am waiting for you with everything that I am, with everything that I am learning, with everything that I already am and everything that I continue to discover. Because I need you just as you are, not for what you can do, or for what you can "give" me, but for what we are together when we meet.

Although sometimes you may feel alone or lost, you are preparing yourself for what is to come. Don't doubt yourself or what the future holds, I want you to trust that this whole path has been a part of my journey to you. You dont need to worry about what's still unclear. I promise that when the time comes, it will all make sense, believe me.

I send you all my love,

Your love"

💘 Channeled song from your person:

ʚ🩷ɞ Pile 3:

"Hello, my dear,

Today I woke up feeling so warm and close to you, like we already knew each other, like our souls already recognized each other, even though we haven't physically crossed paths yet. I'm here, even though you can't see me, and I'm sending you all my love and thoughts.

I want you to know that, even though this journey towards you is taking longer than you imagine, every day that passes brings me closer to you. You don't have to do anything else, just be you, and that's what attracts me the most. I promise you that everything is happening in its perfect time. When we get to meet, everything will make sense, and everything you've lived so far will be the solid foundation for what we're going to build together.

Don't feel pressured, Don't worry if it seems like things aren't going as fast as you'd like. I'm going through my own process too, and on this journey, we're learning to be better versions of ourselves so we can give each other the most genuine love.

I want you to always remember that you are enough just the way you are. You dont need to change who you are, how you think, what you like; the ones that get it, are the ones that matter, and in the end, you have me ;). Please keep moving and keep being you, you deserve the world and your ideas need to be heard. Your voice MATTER! so keep going my love.

With all my love,

Your partner in a crime"

💘 Channeled song from your person:

🩷⋆˚✿˖°ᡣ𐭩🩷Thanks for reading, tell me if it resonated and Happy Valentines day🩷⋆˚✿˖°ᡣ𐭩🩷

[elysiansparadise]

Just saw your juno posts, are there other indicators in someone's chart about what kind of long-term partner one will have?

Long-term partners in astrology

An analysis of the 7th house → House of long-term relationships, marriages, and any type of union that involves more commitment.

🤎The sign this house is in can show us the traits of the people you might attract for formal relationships and aspects of their personality. It can also show us their focuses and priorities. For example:

In the sign of Aries, we may have a tendency to attract partners who are self-sufficient, spontaneous, direct, and authentic. They may believe that before they want to care for others and help them, they have to do the same for themselves. They can be go-getters, known for their ambition and need for action.

Cancer here can reveal highly emotionally sensitive, intuitive partners with a loving, reserved personality. They are protective of those they love and very attentive to us. They prioritize their emotional well-being and that of the people they consider family (biological or otherwise). They aren't afraid to show their emotions once they trust you.

In the sign of Capricorn, we can find people who are older than us, either in age or experience. People with great maturity, a level head on their shoulders, and a strong sense of responsibility. They are work-oriented and eager to continue progressing in that field. They take things seriously. 

🤎The ruler of the 7th house can also help us understand personality traits, even more than the planets in that house (though, I recommend also checking for planets there; the more information, the better). The ruler alone can give us very significant insights; take into account the planet, the sign, and the aspects it makes.

If the ruler is the Sun or makes positive aspects to the Sun, you're likely to attract a partner who is expressive and genuine, someone who isn't afraid to be themselves and have fun. They have a lot of self-confidence, great charisma, joy and motivation in life, and a strong, dominant personality. Tense aspects don't take away from the positive aspects; they can also produce traits such as introversion, excessive self-sufficiency to the point of not trusting others, or pride.

If the ruler is Mercury or makes positive aspects with Mercury, it can give us a partner with great cunning, intelligence, and a knack for problem-solving. Someone with whom communication flows, as they always have something interesting to say. They are humorous and socially adept. Tense aspects can give them anxious traits, overthinking tendencies, and excessive rationality.

🤎The house in which the ruler is located not only tells us about this person's personality, but can also give us insights into where we can meet this person or under what circumstances.

In the 8th house, it can show us a partner with great emotional depth, reserved with certain personality traits, especially those they consider vulnerable (enhanced if it's the Sun, Moon, or Venus). You may meet them during complicated stages of your life or after profound events you've experienced (major changes, the death of someone, a personal rebirth, after an intense healing process, etc.).

In the 11th house, it shows us ambitious couples, with aspirations, and dreams, and a strong sense of unity. They are people who value their independence and authenticity, but recognize the importance of interacting with others diplomatically, cordially, and consistently. You might meet them through a friend, or someone you started out as "just friends." As for places, you might meet them at airports, at a meeting, online, or in a group or club you're part of.

[bum-tan]

Honestly, I'm genuinely surprised that Cartman isn't the bicycle of the South Park Fandom and that the ships involving him aren't as enjoyed as other ships.

Don't get me wrong ! I love Creek and Stendy, and I believe they are popular in their own rights; I just find it weird that ships with Cartman aren't nearly as popular as they could be, especially considering the fact that almost every prominent character has material and a bit of chemistry with him in the show.

For instance:

-Cartman's rivalry with Kyle and their complex frenemies/love-hate dynamic with intense interactions due to often conflicting morals and ideals, which is the base of many episodes. The fact that their very identities are complete opposite from one another, but they still share similar key traits such as being stubborn, egotistical, and driven. Their mutual obsession and the odd codependent nature of their relationship where they just have to one up the other. The constant back and forth where Kyle wants Cartman to change and become a better person, while Cartman wants to break Kyle and prove he is just as bad, if not worse than him. Of course, let's not forget that on the occasions where they do team up towards a common goal and set aside their differences, they work efficiently together. Moreover, they get along surprisingly well when they simply hang out and there is no clashing beliefs or morally charged disagreements. But what makes this ship truly interesting is that despite everything, it has been shown multiple times that they still care for each other, which adds even more nuance to their overall dynamic.

-His evolving relationship with Butters, that started off as extremely harmful and one-sided, is now a more balanced friendship. Butters, who is nice to everyone in general, is especially nice to Cartman and seems to hold him in high regards not just because/in spite of being afraid of him. He is more likely to choose Cartman's side every time there is a conflict and often provides unconditional support. As for Cartman, he has stopped tormenting Butters and he is even nice to him on some occasions due to Butters' loyalty. Furthermore, it has been shown that Cartman confides in Butters, which indicates a certain level of trust on his end, cementing that Butters is a close friend he can rely on. Of course their relationship is still far from perfect, but Butters isn't as naive anymore; he is now familiar with Cartman's cruel nature, having been personally subjected to it. Butters will stand up to Cartman when he reaches his limits and openly express his frustration at times because he no longer blindly chases after his approval. Nevertheless, he still sticks around and helps Cartman because he does care about him.

-Kenny being Cartman's best friend and arguably the one who understands him the most out of anyone in the gang due to their similarities like having the same humor, which usually makes Kenny go along with Cartman's antics, and the same interests (anime, video games, horror movies). The fact that they both have dysfunctional households (Kenny's troubled home with parents who always fight, and Cartman being the son of a neglectful single mother); as well as the fact they're both outcasts because Kenny is poor and Cartman is fat (poor, fatherless, his mom is a whore-) which are all things they can bond over. The occasional rivalry they have (the coon), though not as intense as the one between Kyle and Cartman, is still entertaining. How the show sometime hints at Cartman being aware of Kenny's multiple deaths and immortality (more consistently than other characters like Stan or Kyle, mind you) which adds more potential to their dynamic. Their mutual care for one another albeit in an unconventional way. Adding to all of that is how their relationship has its highs and lows, but they still ultimately remain close friends.

-The fact that Stan is one, if not the only person, Cartman is ever consistently nice to; while he may rip on him for having a crush on Wendy and for being too sensitive at times, it's never truly mean spirited more than it is to tease him. Most of the animosity he showcases towards Stan stems from him, more often than not, siding with Kyle during disagreements as Kyle is the most "reasonable" between the two. More proof of that would be how Cartman will sometime go out of his way to help Stan out when he is distressed, without any ulterior motives or grand agenda whatsoever. He will also encourage Stan when the latter forms his own opinion and acts on his own accord, all while disregarding others' expectations. Of course, this is all only when Stan isn't getting in his way, because it's still Cartman we're talking about; but even then, it's apparent that he likes Stan, even if the other doesn't seem to particularly like him. They do have moments, though, where Stan seems to genuinely enjoy Cartman's company when the other kids aren't around. All in all, their dynamic is just as compelling as the others to explore.

-The episode where Wendy has a crush on Cartman and kisses him. That episode clearly shows they can get along when they work together and that Wendy can find him attractive. However, their overall relationship throughout the show is tense and antagonistic; Wendy is not scared to call him out and put him in his place for what she thinks is just, that alone makes her stand out to Cartman because she doesn't match the image he has of girls (His passive mom, other girls at school who'd rather just ignore him, the girls in the media he consumes etc.). While he usually dismisses Wendy or makes fun of her, he does feel intimidated by her, as shown in the episode where she beats him up. Cartman seems especially mean to Wendy since he dislikes being so openly criticized, especially by a girl. However, it can also be inferred that he respects her even if it's in his own twisted way. As for Wendy ? Well, she is frustrated with him mainly due to his obnoxious and bigoted behaviour, but doesn't harbour personal hatred towards him like Kyle. The implications and potential of their dynamic are what makes the pairing interesting.

Obviously, there is also Cartman's entire relationship with Heidi before and after they started dating, which I don't think I even need to expand on as it was canon in the show and had its dynamic fully explored throughout season 20. All of this, despite Heidi not even being a recurring character, as opposed to the ones I previously mentioned along with others like Craig, and his friends (Clyde, Tolkien, Jimmy, Tweek, etc.) which, by the way, I could go on and on about as well (shout out to people who shipped or still ship Cartman's rare pairs).

Clearly, Cartman is a very compelling character, and he has interacted with almost every kid in the show. There are people who have shipped characters for less (Dip, for example, which is also a ship I like, so I am part of those people), so why not ship him sometimes ?

It's understandable that some fans just don't like Cartman due to how much of a bad person he is, (he is supposed to be hated. Afterall, he represents so much of what is wrong in our society), so it would feel wrong for them to put him under any other light than "horrible bastard". Other fans are just not comfortable shipping him in general since he doesn't fit the usual aesthetic as he is fat (I would argue that doesn't necessarily make him ugly, but I digress).

I for one think it's okay to like Cartman and it's worth addressing that ships involving him deserve more love. Does this mean I condone his actions and agree with his problematic mindset? No. I like him in the realm of fiction only, and that doesn't stop me from exploring and playing around with his character in ways like shipping (wether romantic or platonic).

A ship isn't always "this would be so cute and nice, and it's totally canon!" Sometimes it's "This relationship is fascinating, and exploring it further would be really interesting." It's really fun too.

Got too deep there for a moment lol. Anyways, thanks for reading until the end if you're still here and have a nice day. I'm out !

[aphroditesmoon]

wish you'd ask me

clarisse la rue x fem!demigod!reader

summary: you're not good at reading subtle hints, clarisse realises that maybe she should've been more upfront with her feelings for you.

warnings: fluff, oblivious!reader, clarisse is down bad, reader is very neurodivergent coded, kissing, flirting, title n fic inspired by 'Wish You'd Ask Me' by Matt Maltese.

A/N: thank you for 1.9k followers!! I love you all dearly, my ask box and dms r always open, im glad that my writing is being enjoyed by so many people<3

wc: 4.5k

You have been in camp half blood for more than 4 years. You have made yourself at home for the last several years. 

It was easy to view yourself as lesser or inadequate in comparison to other mortals during your days in the real world before you were sent to camp. The world has never failed to remind you of how different you were. Always too much or not good enough, always special and never normal

And it wasn't like you were dying for some sort of diagnosis to justify why you are the way you are, but upon discovering that you were actually a demigod, it felt like all the questions you've been harboring to yourself was finally answering themselves. 

Everything clicked. Everything made sense, though at the same time, it felt impossible. You were a very confused little girl when you first arrived at camp. A girl who just wanted someone to tell them that it'll all be alright in the end.

And you still remembered the first person to hold you by your shoulders and made you look into their eyes as they told you that it was all going to be okay.

The girl with beautiful long curls and dark piercing eyes. The girl that everyone else, apparently, was afraid of.

But you could never be afraid of Clarisse La Rue. 

Not with the way she smiles when every time she sees you, the way she never fails to make you feel included even in activities you're not capable of participating in. Not with the way your whole body electrifies every time your skin touches, when your hands brush against each other. 

It didn't matter what anyone think, because no one could change the perception you've built of her. Clarisse La Rue is good. Or at least she is to you.

When you first heard of the rumours surrounding her, you did think better than to force a friendship on her. You strayed away from her and stuck to your cabin siblings and your books, but you noticed daily how she'd still go out of her way to talk to you at least once a day.

It didn't need to be a long conversation, just a passing acknowledgement. An easygoing 'hey, how've you been doing.' Sometimes she'd even go as far as cracking a joke with you.

With how serious her face is whenever she make the jokes, you'd have to think twice as hard and thrice as faster than another person to try and guess if she was being genuine or not so you could fit in a necessary laugh when you needed to.

Even as her anger became more apparent because of the new kid's accidental climb to fame and embarrassing the Ares' cabin, she still found time to make a conversation with you.

It had been long since you tried to ignore or avoid her. You learned that her attention towards you is harmless, and that she seemed much more comfortable telling you certain things compared to others. If she has been viewing you as some sort of safe box, then you don't really mind it. You liked listening to her talk and keeping her heart's intent as your secret.

You too, talking to her. To some people, you are reserved,  

and to others, talkative. Either way, people find it easy to discard you at any moment they decide you are irritating.

But Clarisse listens. And she asks questions, she's patient- much patient that anyone could anticipate or guess. 

It may be hard for others to believe, but Clarisse is more complex than she seems. She had the capacity to be gentle, and she had the capacity to respect boundaries. The more time you spent with her, the more that side becomes easy for you to access.

Today, however,  marks a new record for your friendship with her. A few weeks ago, she had informed you of her newfound interest in the history of folklore monsters. What a coincidence that you were currently self-studying on that specific topic.

She insisted that you hook her in on whatever it is you're learning. She had even gotten you a doughnut to eat together outside the library as you told her of your insights of dragons and their theorized blindness and incapability to differentiate a variety of prey.

The conversation went well, she seemed immensely in awe of your knowledge and had no problem telling you how she felt. 

You even gave her some book recommendations, though you knew she wasn't much of a reader.

You felt a shift in your relationship that night and had spent the next three days studying more and more about the topic. And today, you had asked her to spend the evening with you. 

You shouldn't feel so nervous asking her to hang out. That is what friends do, after all.

She found you in the library, sitting on the floor in between two large bookshelves. She had been right on time and enthusiastically so. The two of you sat together, hidden by the shelves as some semblance of privacy. 

Clarisse looked confused when you had explained that you indeed wanted to spend the rest of the day in the library, but she accompanied you anyways.

You could never get sick of the smell of the books. Old and new, they all have some nostalgic past tied in between the pages, begging to be discovered. 

You had your back on the walls with tinted windows above your head as she's seated opposite of you in a criss-crossed position.

Today, the library isn't as packed as usual. There were still people walking in and out and checking out the books on the counter, but not too many that it became obnoxiously loud and annoying. 

After finishing another book of Monsters and how to spot them, you're feeling knowledgeable enough to explain the lore of the Giants to Clarisse, she had asked you about this the other day, giants have been long extinct to the point that some might even say they may have never even existed. And so you were interested in sharing with her all of the information you have learned about the majestic species of a beast.

You started with the general information. The basic understanding of what a Giant is the mythhs of Giants and the validity of those sources. Clarisse listened closely in the beginning, never interrupting you unless she had an actual question.

She seemed in awe of the stories you tell her of. You don't blame her, for you yourself have been most interested in the topic of Giants.

You were an hour an a half in when noticed her attention faltering. She leaned against the cases of books, her eyes twitched slightly when you began to explain the different types of giants, and the difference of how they operate.

Her hands are folded together on her lap, and you can feel her listening in on everything you're telling her as she adds in some commentary here and there, but you also felt that she wasn't entirely in on the conversation.

The dim lights of the library made the atmosphere feel warm and secluded, even with its vast space and many other campers hanging around in the other tables and shelves. You made sure to keep your voice low as you spoke in fear of the librarian kicking you out. 

You had a good reputation with the library workers, they liked how organized and polite you were. 

"A lot of people think their greatest strength is their size, which is valid, they are huge, but their real weapon is their mouth." You told Clarisse, ignoring the litter of books by your left that you had brought over for reference.

"They kiss you to death?" She asks suspiciously. You laughed shortly and shook your head. "No, I mean their breath."

She responds with an 'ohh.' 

"They're giants, so their mouth is large too, and you can easily tell what they had for breakfast even from their tall height. Their breaths are also known to be so rancid it could kill you, because they don't exactly eat what we eat." 

She raises a brow as she stretches her hands upwards. "Isn't that ogres?" 

"It's both." You confirmed.

You were about to continue your explanation but halted by instinct as you notice how her mouth keeps pursing together as if unsatisfied, and she has that look on her face that mimicked a confused expression. You're don't think there's anything to be confused of.

"Are you okay?" You asked her worriedly. Clarisse sits up straighter at the question and waved a hand off to assure you she's fine. "Of course, no yeah- I'm fine."

"You seem bored, you're not really interested in what I'm saying are you?” She opens her mouth to counter your words but hesitates to say anything. 

"I- well, I like giants-" She attempts, "-no you don't. " 

"No. I don't." She admits with a sigh. "But I thought you said you were interested in these kind of stuff?" You questioned her. "Well, yeah, like the general idea of it. I mean, I don't hate it, and I like hearing you talk about it." She answers with a shrug.

"Then why do you look disappointed? If you didn't want to come, you could've just told me. I wouldn't get mad." You told her honestly. It was conflicting for you to see her so confused on what to say, being so picky with the words she chooses.

You figured she's probably reluctant to hurt your feelings. That is a notion you're used to. You'd rather she tell you the truth to your face than to be catered around like a time ticking bomb that everyone's so afraid might explode at any time. 

"When you asked me out yesterday, you told me this would be an 'evening to remember." She tells you with such confidence like it was an explanation to her weird behaviour today.

"You don't think this is an evening to remember?" You sincerely inquire.

"No, I do! I just- well, when you said that I didn't think you'd mean we'd be doing this." Your frown deepens as you try to figure out what she means, eyeing her body language closely. “What do you mean? I told you I wanted to hang out.” 

A part of you is offended. She was the one who had said she liked hearing you speak, why would she be disappointed that this was your idea of spending time together?

"I don't know, I thought we'd just be doing...something else?"

It didn't matter what she had really meant with that. You felt completely embarrassed once she finished her sentence. Why was it that everyone else had no problem having long conversations with their friends, but when it came to you, it's all too awkward, unnecessary, and odd? 

You liked Clarisse, you considered her your friend. Sometimes you wonder if it could ever be more, but you never entertain those thoughts because you don't want to ruin what the two of you already have. 

But moments like these resemble a huge slap in the face by the universe.

You couldn't even be good friends with her, how ridiculous of you to think that there could ever be something more.

"Okay, um, maybe we should just go back to our cabin." You decided whilst standing up and picking up the stack of books you're currently borrowing from the library, ready to leave the place without waiting for her.

"Hey, wait." She called out as you walked past her. You spared her a glance, trying your best not to show how upset you are.  “We're friends." She says it so much like a question that you weren't sure if she's even sure of the fact herself until she continued speaking. "I like hanging out with you."

Another thing that you weren't sure if she really meant. "Sure." You replied thinking it's the most suitable response. 

Before she could say anything else, you turned around and started picking up your pace until you disappeared out of her sight.

—

You have been consistently ignoring Clarisse. Which proved to be harder than expected.

When you pass by her camp or the training ground, you make a mental note to always look down or to your front as to never accidentally cross eyes with her.

And everytime you hear her call out your name, you keep walking like you didn't even hear her, knowing that she wouldn't be bold enough to call for you again. After all, she still had a reputation to uphold.

If ignoring her wasn't hard enough, having to deal with how you felt for her is worse.

You've been avoiding confrontation with yourself for weeks even before you decided to go no contact with her.

And so far, you thought you've been handling it pretty well. Except for days where you don't see her where she's expected to be. You tell yourself that you don't care as you make your way to training in the day and reading in the evening, and yet you still go back on your own words when you asked a passerby Ares kid on where his cabin leader was.

"She's dunking some kid's head into a toilet bowl." Of course she was.

You thanked the dude and went back on your way to your cabin. It's close to dusk, the sky is turning orange and the sun is dipping itself below the earth. You take your time returning to your cabin as you enjoy the way the sun slowly removes itself from anyone's viewing.

You wondered to yourself if things like these are what makes you weird or off-putting to some people.

Was enjoying nature and having niche interests only cute when it's done by girls pretty enough to be cool or if it's only in romance movies or books.

You don't find yourself weird, in fact you think all of your hobbies are pretty common and usual, and yet the way Clarisse had spoken to you at the library last week had made you feel unnatural.

You had wanted to do normal people things with her, but maybe your perception of normal is different to her.

Either way, you are pretty hurt with how she reacted. You loved her still, of course. It's kind of hard to unlike the girl you've been obsessed with since you were 15.

Once you finally reach your cabin, you quickly put down all of your books and your tiny sling back by the side before making it to the shower to refresh yourself before dinner.

You thought it hilarious of how hard you're trying not to care about Clarisse, and yet as you're cleaning yourself up, changing your clothes and attempting to read at least 15 pages of your World's Most Dangerous Beasts book, you could only think of her.

What would it take for her to think that you're cool, what kind of things did she want to do instead of listening to you yap around for 2 hours on what is an equivalent of a boring dinosaur facts, not that you really think dinosaurs are boring.

During dinner, you kept to siblings and had to make yourself finish your plate as your anxiety wrecking thoughts have a way of deriving you of an appetite. You also had to convince yourself to not search for her at the other tables which took more strength than one would expect.

But you succeeded, and you were now sure that the only obstacle left for the day was to try and fall asleep without the thoughts of her keeping you up.

Clarisse is a force, a fierce daughter of Ares, and a cabin leader who had much better things to do then hole up at quiet small places with you.

And just because she was nice enough to mantain a good relationship with you for 4 years, does not mean that you're worth her time. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.

That night, you managed to fall asleep after an hour of recalling Harpy facts in repetition. Counting sheeps had never worked on you, so you had to find something much more active to tire out your brain.

You dreamed of Clarisse with her hair down, holding your hand and pulling you closer so she could slip a flower on your ear.

And just as she's looking down at you, moving closer to do what it seemed like to kiss you, you awoke with a jolt, swearing under your breath as if you'd just gotten jumpscared by a ghost.

Someone's palms moved to shut your lips as you're met with a girl, hovering over you in the dark. Clarisse's dark eyes were recognizable, but it sent a shot of adrenaline through your body still.

"Shh." She whispered to your face, hand still keeping your mouth shut. "I'm going to remove my hands now." She whispered again. You nod in understanding and waited for her to pry her hand away from your face.

"What are you doing here?!" You exclaimed as quiet as possible as she helped you sit up.

"I'm sneaking you out." She answers with a wink. "It's 2 in the morning." You waved your hand around at the darkness and sleeping children. "3 in the morning, and yeah, I know. That's why it's called sneaking around." She corrects you with a grin so devilish that if you hadn't known her for a long time, you'd assume she's about to turn you into a new toilet bowl or dumpster boxing victim.

You sighed loudly and glared at her despite your fast beating heart. Her hand remained on top of yours until the minute becomes more awkward and she removes it as if she just remembered that she's been holding your hand.

Without explanation,  she climbed out of your bed and tiptoes to the open cabin door. You're still sitting up and looking at her with conflicted feelings.

Only after she turns back to you, cocking her head towards the entrance, do you give into her request and softly leave the comfort of your bed and trail after her.

"Where are we going?" You asked after her as she kept walking. Instead of responding, she asks you another question back, "Can you swim?"

"We're going swimming?" You watch her shrug in return from behind her and became even more distressed.

"So, is this your idea of having fun and hanging out then?" She laughs drily and slowed down so you could catch up. You walked fast enough until you're beside her and waited for her to talk. "You sound surprised, I would've thought that after 4 years of friendship, you'd know by now that I love doing things that includes active movements."

You did know that, it's a bit hard to not notice how much working out, training and running fuels her even more.

"And why are we doing it in the middle of the night?" The walk towards the lake by the back of the forest was short, considering that your cabin is the closest to the location.

You almost tripped and fell over a stick, but Clarisse was quick to scoop you back up by the back of your shirt. "Thanks." You mumbled to her. "And you haven't answered my question."

Clarisse pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the ground without caring of your presence. You, having more moral obligations than her, twisted your face to your left when she began to pull her trousers off. "Too many people in broad daylight." She tells you.

That is a valid reason, this lake is mostly known as a hook up spot, and true to it's cause, many dating campers have been caught together here during dawn or late evenings.

You braved yourself to turn towards her again slowly and realised that she had already hopped into the water. She had a sports bra on and a boxer.

And though you yourself had a tank top and shorts on, you contemplate the idea of suicide as a better choice than having to strip in front of her.

"Are you gonna get in, or are you just gonna gawk at me from there?" You were grateful for the dark being able to hide your flushed face from her, but deep down, you knew that she probably saw it anyways because of the shining bright moonlight.

"I can't swim." You told her.

"That's fine, the water's not very deep." You ransacked your brain for reasons to decline her offer, but at the same time, a small part of you yearned to take this risk that you've been so afraid of for gods knows whatever reason.

Clarisse is there, in the water and under the moonlight. You are only a few steps away from her. And like she said, the water isn't deep, only waist length. She stares back at you with a raised brow like she's challenging you to join her.

"Turn around first." You tell her. She smirked slightly before slowly spinning to the opposite direction. "You know I've seen you naked before right?"

"What?" You choked out, aghast. "Who do you think changed your clothes for you when you first got to camp." Oh, that.

Your shoulder relaxes as you realize she's talking about the first time you met. "That's was a long time ago." You noted. She hummed im agreement. "Yeah, we've both grown since."

You told her she could turn around once you're inside the water. Forgetting about the heighy difference between you two, the water was high enough to reach your chest, trying your best not to trip underwater the way you always do on dry ground, your hand instinctively reached outnfor her shoulder.

Clarisse held your forearm tightly and drew your closer to her until you're inches away from eachother.

You breathed in sharply and felt the need to fill in the awkward silence. "So, you...like swimming, huh?"

"Yes, evidently so." She answered. "Right right, can't sit still and all that." She actually chuckled at your sarcasm, making you proud of yourself.

"You know, even before I came to camp Half Blood, I use to be a pretty active person, running track, volleyball, sometimes swimming." Your eyes widened in curiosity. "Really?" She nodded.

"The counselor told my mom that I just had so many untapped energy, which I guess is a code for anger issues." Her grip on your forearm moves higher until her palm is over your shoulder.  "She told her that it'd be best for me to find a...healthy way, to channel that energy, and for my strong competitiveness. So I joined what I could, and that's how I spent most of my free time there. Besides, I never was that good academically. So, I ought to at least be good at something, right?"

"You are good." You blurted out. Your embarrassment faded away when you saw her smile. "You think so?"

"Yeah." You assured her. Her other hand had snaked around your waist without you noticing. Only when you moved slightly do you notice her holding you softly.

"The moon is really nice tonight, isn't it?" You said, trying to diffuse the tension. You pointed your finger up to the sky at the singular white orb.

She glanced up and let out a 'huh.'

"I like it when it's bright and whole like this, the moon in all of its glory. You don't even notice the starts around it when it's glowing like that." You could stare at the moom forever, even longer than the way you've been staring at the sun.

You believed in it the way children do with their birthday candle. To you, the moon has always been a symbol of hope or comfort for your future. Your fascination for it existed from when you were a child, the way it'd follow you from behind as you gazed upon it from the back of the car seat whilst your parent drove down the road.

The way it moved above you as you walked home from school, like one of the gods themselves watching over you.

"Nothing compares to the moon." You announced aloud, watching as the clouds around it began to gather over it. "Yeah, It's beautiful." You hear Clarisse speak.

As your head snapped back to her, you found that she had already been facing you.

"I like the moon...but not as much as I like you." She whispered loud enough for your ears only. Her face leans closer to yours, your noses brushing together. "Not as much as I like to hear your voice, when you tell me about your little harpy facts-"

"Oh, I haven't told you about the harpies yet." You cut her off. "I just finished that chapter this morning actually and-"

"-and, you can tell me about it after I'm done talking." You blushed and became silent, letting her speak.

Clarisse exhaled breathily, fanning your face with the subtle warm air. "I like doing things that friends do with you, but I don't want to be your friend anymore."

"Oh."

"I want to be more than friends." She elaborated.

"Oh." Oh.

You feel a sudden tightness in your chest, from anxiety or from butterflies is undecided. "You want to be best friends?" You joked, laughing nervously.

Clarisse snorted at your joke, but she was still grinning widely. "Best friends, If that's what you want to call it."

There was a moment of understanding shared between a second of shared gazes before her lips attached themselves to yours. An urgency, approval, meaning that can't be described by words.

Whatever gentleness there was inside of her before had vanished. Clarisse kissed you like a starved woman. Her lips craved yours like it'd be the last time she'll ever know how you taste like.

Your hands clasped on her shoulder and neck for support as she embraced you tighter to her body. You let her tongue slip into your mouth, meeting your own.

And as they danced together, inhaling all there is in your lips, every secret and every confession that have died on the tip ofnyour tongues, you are sure that no heaven nor hell could tear you open to see you back together like this.

You push her back abruptly, letting fresh air fill your empty lungs. "What's wrong?" Clarisse inquired worriedly.

"Last week." You sighed out, chest still heaving as your thoughts clicked together. "You thought I had asked you on a date, that's why you were disappointed."

She winced at the reminder, and for the first time in your life, you had been lucky enough to witness a flustered Clarisse.

"I'm right." Her silence confirmed. "Oh Clarisse, why didn't you just ask me?"

Huffing loudly, she rolls her eyes in irritation. "I thought I was obvious enough. "

Thinking back on it all, it did seem pretty obvious, but gods were you oblivious. The way you intepreted it all so wrongly.

"I've liked you for so long too." You admitted to her. Her scowl was gone at that, replaced by a teasing smile. "And what are you gonna do about it?" Her mouth returned to yours, letting go of all your fears and holding on to Clarisse like she's your anchor, you close the gap between your lips, welcoming the kind of pleasure that you've never tasted before.

[cyncerely-bullshit]

when it comes to internet drama, there’s three things I look for:

1: How the accused defends themselves

2: How the accused’s friends defend them

3: How stan accounts defend them

In that order, btw.

If someone is cancelled and makes a genuine apology and very clearly explains that they either didn’t know better or feel genuine remorse, the drama usually ends there. If the internet decides the response was invalid, friends get involved if they truly believe their friend is innocent. After all, the internet doesn’t know them, but their friends? People they speak with everyday? They usually know well enough to speak on if the person deserved to be canceled. Lastly, if the apology was bad and the friends either didn’t step in or made things worse, check the stan accounts. They will almost always pull something up to defend their favorite parasocial relationship. Sometimes they find pretty damning pieces of evidence to support the accused, sometimes they throw shit at the wall and hope it sticks. They bring up points the average person would never even thing to bring up, and sometimes it works in their favor.

Let’s take a look at how these three rules apply to Dream and Tommy, shall we?

Dream:

1: Crashes out live on stream for like 5 hours, brings up a bajillion other things to distract from the original issue, makes a reddit post where he doesn’t apologize for shit then promptly deletes it, calls Tubbo and never once concedes that he may be wrong, belittling what Tubbo says and changing the topic whenever he knows that Tubbo is right and he can’t argue it (also called Tubbo “Tommy” multiple times)

2: None of his friends stepped up. From what i’ve heard a few Spanish streamers spoke on his behalf, but no word from his housemates and closest friends. The way I see it, George can’t defend him because his career is already on the rocks with the Caiti situation (which, if I may remind you, Dream stuck up for George hard and Sapnap [though he wasn’t there] said that he knows George well enough to believe there wasn’t malicious intent [im paraphrasing]). Point is, when a member of the DTeam got cancelled, they banded together as friends, showing they weren’t afraid to defend each other. George likely doesn’t want to put his job in jeopardy by involving himself in more drama, but Sapnap has been silent despite being the least problematic member of the DTeam by a long shot. Even Badboyhalp (who didn’t speak on it directly) talked on stream about how much respect he had for everyone Dream had name dropped and villainized (Tommy, Tubbo, etc) while Dream was in chat.

3: DTeam stans, and Dream stans especially, can be brutal. I have seen what they can pull out to defend their youtubers, if you’re reading this you probably have too, and it’s crazy. So it speaks volumes that their only argument in this case that I’ve seen is the very same one Dream used initially: he’s neurodivergent, he can’t help it. He didn’t know it was wrong, he was genuinely trying to be a good role model to the kids of the server but his autism made him act like that, the essay he sent to Tommy wasn’t manipulative at all, etc. I should not have to explain why this is not an argument in the slightest and shouldn’t even be taken as one. Other than that, there isn’t an edited snapchat photo, message, or post to be argued (at least not on Dream’s side). Dream very clearly did everything and is still arguing that he’s in the right. There is no evidence against him because he’s still talking about not regretting doing anything, so the stans have to argue with what they can.

Tommy:

1: made a short and concise 5 minute video calmly explaining his side and why Dream wasn’t good to him, telling him that the r slur wasn’t a joke and he personally knew good and kind people who were discriminated against with that word and how it isn’t acceptable to be used ever, and telling Dream to take some time off the internet, go to therapy, and spend time with his family.

2: Shout out Tubbo and Jack, the absolute strongest of fighters in this whole thing. For as much as Dream complained about Tommy “manipulating people into hating him,” he didn’t speak on Jack enough. Jack Manifold has not been quiet about his distaste for Dream, and is the one who brought it up on his and Tommy’s podcast. Tommy is the one who was trying to talk about Dream neutrally and change the subject, meanwhile Jack just went off, but somehow according to Dream, Tommy was the one accusing him of things. And Tubbo, the strongest of them all, watching Dream’s whole breakdown with a neutral and (mostly) calm perspective, speaking with him (more like talking at him while he said “let’s move on” or “let’s agree to disagree”) and fighting for his best friend. I’m glad the divorce was amicable. Dream had accusations, Tubbo had logic. It was an easy fight. Also, let’s not forget Ranboo, Philza, Sneegsnag, Aimsey, AverageHarry, Jimmy, Joel, Molly Melinks, Sarah Simons, Rue (Tom’s old roommate), Jonaay, MaxGGs, Kwite, Pokimaine, and many more that sided at the very least against Dream, but mostly against Dream and with Tommy. Also the fact that Dream’s supposed friends like HannahxxRose, VelvetisCake, and Sapnap himself were in Tubbo’s chat during the argument.

3: Ah yes, the 15 million people that got called the r slur. Easiest defense of a celebrity ever, since Tommy did nothing wrong, just defended himself. Even when Dream tried to say he used child labor to make his videos and the editors were underpaid, it wasn’t the fans who defended Tommy, it was the editors themselves. Tommyinnit truly has exactly 1 enemy.

just wanted to get all this off my chest and explain how I deal with internet drama and why this is quite frankly the most non-divided drama i’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen someone so in the wrong be so confident about it, it’s truly baffling.

anyway, back to coding.

[im-not-a-ghost]

Their current feelings for you

Group 1 - Jeanne

45. Spiral of abundance , 23. Inner Jewel, 31. Inner Equinox, Loyal dog, Newborn Butterfly, Smart Walrus, Forest song "My kindness is a gift I bestow upon the world."

This person really feels the most at peace and safe when they are with you. You bring out their inner child and generate a lot of happiness in their life. They really value and treasure your presence but they are also aware that their happiness shouldn't solely depend on you. This person is choosing to trust you despite their fears and share with you their most vulnerable sides, their kindness and generosity, not only out of loyalty but also because they believe that it would be beneficial on the long term. Their feelings for you are pure, they are only filled with good intentions because this person knows what it's like not to receive love and feel like people cannot accept you for who you are. Even though you may trigger this person sometimes through your words or actions, they would rather try to deal with it on their own without you knowing or trying to talk it out in a healthy manner rather than lashing out on you. This person wants to protect you and nurture you, to guide you but they also feel a bit guarded because they are not used to the dynamic of your connection. This person may struggle with receiving compliments or random acts of kindness. They may be used to having to work hard for attention or to receive help from others. They may be used to people unfairly treating them. However, you do quite the opposite. Through your interactions their wounded inner child is allowed to heal and show its true self without fear. Which can both be pretty exciting and scary at the same time. You may sometimes feel like this person isn't truly reciprocating your feelings or not being sincere. The truth is they need a lot of time to open up about their feelings and show people their love. If you are able to provide them the time and space to do so, by encouraging this person and paying attention to what makes them uncomfortable, respecting their boundaries, which I feel you already do to some extent, this person will slowly but surely let you know how much you mean to them. Honestly this energy is very sweet and peaceful, it was such a lovely reading to do. I feel called to mention that one of the reasons why this person loves you so much is because of your "disinterested" actions. Let me explain with a few examples. Maybe in the past, this person only received compliments from people when they wanted something out of them. So these compliments weren't genuine. However, you compliment them because you want to and feel like it. That kind of things. I feel like this really changed this person's views of connections.

Group 2 - Luca

"When I lead from a place of love, people respect me." 34. Creativity storm, 46. Energyfall 36. Fire of transformation, Loyal Llama, Guardian Bear, Tranquil Sloth, Silent Watcher

You intimidate this person a little but more than anything they feel inspired by you and energized in your presence. You give them a lot of strength and courage to deal with their daily life and challenges. You motivate them to be a better person. They may observe you from afar to learn from you but also out of shyness because they find you very attractive and they can't help their reactions when they're around you, if you get my drift. This energy is quite similar to group 1 in the sense that they also seem to be feeling at peace when you're around, as if all their problems melted away. They find a new sense of confidence because of your support, your guidance, your kindness. This may be something they actively voice out. I feel like this person has already mentioned in front of you that they felt driven to do their best because of your trust and faith in them. They consider you a vital part of their support system. But they also are very fond of you and I feel like they view you as more than a friend, though they may not express it. They get protective over you quite easily which is something they may hide behind nonchalence. Like, they may give you a whole meal to ensure you've eaten enough because they know you're feeling unwell and reply with "I bought this by mistake and I thought maybe you'd like it" or something like that. They find excuses to do things for you while trying to do them undercover. But they may not be very subtle about it sometimes. But maybe because this is something you're not used to, you may think that you're imagining things. Well, this is your confirmation that you're not crazy. I feel like for most of you this connection is quite recent. So you may be in the early stages of a relationship or just secretly crushing on one another because you both are shy koalas.

Group 3 - Chloe

"My happiness is a direct reflection of how quickly I can shift my perceptions from fear to love." 17. Spark of gratitude, 12. Emotional storm, 15. Dance of the elements, Wise Owl - Wisdom Perception Discipline , Newborn Butterfly - Renewal Transformation Adaptability, Cute Penguin - Whismy Community Loyalty, Bird

This person chooses to see you under your best light, regardless of your shadows and past "mistakes", regardless of their own fears and shadows. More than anything, they feel incredibly happy and grateful for your presence in their life. You take them off guard and make them feel giddy, like a teen that would love for the first time. They can't help but to love you for who you are and want to be close to you. They feel so warm and fuzzy whenever you're around. Their thoughts of you are pretty positive and innocent. They just admire you and are in awe with your personality and looks. They wish to see through you and know what you think of them. This connection is fairly new to them. They've never felt this way before. They are not used to such happiness and soft feelings. I feel like this person has been through a lot in their life and they're not used to surrendering control or letting themselves be vulnerable in front of others. But with you, they feel like a child again and everything feels like an adventure. They can appreciate life again because of you and that is something that is incredibly precious to them. Ever since they met you, they start to see life from a brighter perspective and become more of a "the glass is half full" type of person. They can truly have fun and relaxed because they feel more confident in your presence. You make them feel safe, heard and seen. They don't have to try as hard when you're around because you accept them for who they are. I really like this spread because it's just so pure and soothing. It's like in their eyes there isn't a single thing about you that is wrong or that should be changed. They love you unconditionally.

[dimonds456]

"Perhaps he may yet prove his worth to me" headcanon

I have So many Ford thoughts about this era of his life, here is only a sliver of my insanity FGHJSD

Alt text below cut ^^

ID: a bunch of Discord screenshots showing a single user rambling about Stanford Pines from Gravity Falls. User Dimonds456 has their profile set to the autism eyes Stanley image from Lost Legends. Here is the full transcript of everything they said:

Listening to Hana's Ford video at work again today (the 5 hour one) and something they were talking about in it I kinda wanna elaborate on. The line "perhaps he can still prove his worth to me," to me, is a line that I think Ford both does mean and doesn't mean at the same time, and the reason why is. sad.

To me, this is Ford realizing he's got no way out, right? Like, contacting Stan is part of his last resort plan, the one he had to switch to once he was given the 72 hours before his life- and the world's- came to an end

Like, let's be real: the plan "I'm gonna go back up to the caves to where I first discovered Bill and hope and pray there's an answer there" REALLY ISNT a plan

Hope and pray isn't a survival strategy, but that's where Ford is at rn

Every other plan failed.

Project Mentem takes too long to encrypt, and more than likely wouldn't stop possession anyway. It would just prevent Bill from seeing Ford's thoughts and memories. Might provide some protection, but not enough.

The Bill Proof suit he isn't mechanically knowledgable enough to actually make effectively, and he doesn't know McGucket is still in town

He can't go down to the basement else risk the possibility of Bill possessing him, and if he tries to dismantle the portal, as we see in TBOB, there's a good chance Bill will just fucking torture him over it

He doesn't know about the Cipher Wheel at this point, or if he does, doesn't believe it'll help. And even if he did, he doesn't know enough people or enough about people to know who he needs

He doesn't know about using a metal plate/tinfoil hat

He couldn't get access to unicorn hair, so the barrier is out(edited)

The caves were his last resort

At this point, he knows there's a good chance he's going to die. All he can do is make sure the world stays alive after the fact. But that doesn't mean he wants to. He is fighting Bill tooth and nail, holding out for as long as he can, despite the knowledge that in 72 hours, he is going to die.

Or, if not die, he's going to be blind and subjected to Bill's every whim

To me, the "perhaps he can still prove his worth to me" line is him clinging to the one last thing he DOES have control over: his emotions. And he's choosing to be angry because anger is a better emotion to feel than fear or anxiety

Cuz at this point, his entire world has been flipped upside-down, right

Bill was evil

Fidds was right

He's second-guessing his decisions about Stanley

He writes, in code, "have I been too harsh [to Stan] all along?"

Like, over the course of a couple days/a month, his entire view of the world and how it works has spun WILDLY out of control

He can't change the fact that Bill is evil, he can't change the fact that Fidds was right, so in a desperate act to cling to the one thing he has control over, he continues to take it out on Stan, cuz that's all he has

It's PEAK learned helpllessness

He has to have been right about something.

Cuz otherwise, he's the worst. And no one wants to feel like that, especially while being tortured at the hands of a demon and trying to protect the goddamn world

So he both means it, since I do think that came from a genuine place (his anger at Stan over the project), but also doesn't mean it at all (he knows Stan has worth but is too Regina George to admit that right now)

It's also why he was SO QUICK to bring that up during his and Stanley's fight

Again, he's clinging onto that anger as hard as he can

He had to cooporate with Stan to try and get him to take the Journal, but as soon as it looked like that plan was gonna fail, he started flipping out, both from stress, fear, anxiety, and from his anger he is refusing to let go

Again, Ford isn't dumb. He knows he's running on borrowed time at this point.

And something about knowing your life is either gonna end soon, or you're gonna become disabled and toyed with for the rest of your life, would mean he's not thinking rationally

ON TOP OF the lack of sleep and clarity

Does this make sense FGHJSKD

I'm pushing my learned helplessness headcanon on y'all SO HARD I'm not even gonna lie GFDHSJK

End transcript, end ID.

[enixamyram]

I truly do not get the "Angel sexually harassed Husk!!! He's awful and it's gross the writers never addressed it!!!" mindset some of the anti's have. Especially when the show very much did address it very clearly in a way that I, personally, believe was very well done:

"Maybe I'd treat you better if you were real, and not some bullshit version of yourself. Always pushin' my boundaries."

Husk openly calls Angel is a jerk for the way he treated him. He (and the writers) make it very clear that Angel's constant sexual advances bothered him. And this isn't a revelation moment either since it's obvious during every moment prior that Husk doesn't like the way Angel behaves with him, even if he puts up with it. He physically expresses his discomfort and dislike for it each time and you'd have to be blind to miss it.

People like myself may find a line of Angel's to be funny, but it's the same way we find other lines funny. (Like Val's: "Not off camera you're not!") As in, it was amusing the way the line was said. But that doesn't mean we're ignoring or missing the seriousness behind the issue in reality. (I mean, some people might be, but in general I think most of the audience is not like this.)

More importantly, all of this is literal Character Development. In all further episodes, Angel stops acting this way with Husk entirely. And only after he stops acting this way, is when Husk and him start to genuinely get on as friends.

I've seen some people complain that Angel never officially apologised for his actions. And yes, while we don't seen an on screen "I'm sorry for what I did to you", it's very clear that there has been something based off of the very next shot of them:

Even if he hasn't said those exact words, Loser Baby was an entire song about how they understand where each other is coming from, why they act how they do and how they can now change that by leaning on each other for support instead. Loser Baby is, in its own kind of subtle way, an apology between them. Just because we're not spoon fed scenes doesn't mean they didn't happen off screen.

Anyway. You don't have to like the ship. But can we stop trying to find problematic reasons why no one else should like them either and just grow up and say it's personally not your thing?

[merakiui]

i know you've written this like a bazillion times but i cannot stop thinking about codependent azul.. the more pathetic the better the more Violent the better.. he cannot stand not being with you even for short periods of time and it drives him insane. some noncon too just for the funsies. he doesn't even trust jade and floyd to be near you im sorry im just saying whatever but the way you portrayed his character is sosososo good 😔

Omg clingy, codependent Azul!!! I will write him a bazillion times more because I love him so much hehe.╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

He’s so obsessed with you and genuinely believes you’re the only one for him. He’s constantly in awe that someone as wonderful as you could ever love someone like him, and he worries that maybe this is too good to be true and that he doesn’t deserve such happiness. It’s why he’s always so terrified of being apart from you because what if you find someone else and want to break up with him? He knows the twins have their own appeal and characteristics that you may fall for, which is why he never wants to leave you alone with them.

You do everything together. At first it was cute because you were a new couple and everything was seen through rose-tinted glasses. But now it’s so suffocating. You can’t even go shopping by yourself or take a walk. Azul has to be there with you, and if he can’t then you simply won’t go. He’s so upset when he finds out you’ve “snuck out” or have seen other people or done other things when he was too busy to accompany you. It’s why he’s started working from home more often. You’re starting to regret the fact that you live together under the same roof.

And the non-con… trying to have a conversation with him about breaking up, but he won’t hear it. He’s clinging to you and pressing his face into your neck, hands running along your bare skin beneath your shirt. Kissing along your jaw. “Azul, no, stop. This is serious. Please listen to me,” you’ll plead because now is not the time for sex and you don’t want that, but he’ll catch your hands in his and pin them down. Drag your hips against his on the sofa. Whatever you wish to discuss, you can do so afterwards. And maybe, he jokes with a smile, you might even change your mind after this. As if all it takes is a good fucking to knock any thought of separation from your head.

This Azul’s mentality is frightening. If he can’t have you, no one will. This is something he’s sure of. No one else deserves to know just how angelic you are. He’s got you ensnared and it’ll be hellish if you ever try to leave. If manipulation won’t work, force will. He thinks in extremes because that’s exactly what his obsession is. One big extreme.

[tojjist]

𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐘 ↳ r. sukuna

in which: the king of curses left you the moment you announce your pregnancy to him. but after nearly losing you... he might be having a change of heart contains: very slight objectification of reader, reader is a half-curse, mentions of injury and near-death experience, reader is pregnant, slight mention of pregnancy sex, sukuna is really ooc tbh A/N: yall really wanted soft sukuna lmao. i js wanted to write something more in my own style instead of the tumblr style. It's all over the place really, also obv trueform! sukuna. w.c : 1.6k

“Sukuna-sama?” Your voice comes out a breathy whisper, barely audible.

“Do– ugh,” The pink-haired curse sighs. “Don’t call me that. And don’t make me repeat myself.”

You haven’t known Sukuna to be tender. Actually, scratch that. You used to genuinely believe he mistook the adjective for an affront. He probably still does, despite the sheer softness of his actions. His mind is a marvel far beyond your, or anyone else's, comprehension. And if Sukuna hasn’t always been complicated, his sudden switch of behavior recently has rendered  unriddling the complex being that he is even harder.

“What do I call you then?” There’s confusion in your tone; confusion fused with unadulterated innocence. His eyebrows crease further. He loved how naive and ingénue you are. Such a simple, sheepish thing. Easy to lead one, easy to use, easy to hurt. But as of late, he’d come to hate it.

He hates that he hates it. He shouldn’t care.

“I don’t fucking know,” he snaps back. It’s enough to bring you silence, the somber tone he uses coming with a sense of finality. 

Rough callouses are surprisingly gentle against your flesh—callouses that slap, bruise, grope, but never caress. Despite that, he pulls your underwear up your thighs with utter care. If you didn’t know any better, you might even dare call his actions delicate.

“Does it hurt?” He reminisces. Curious digits stroke your lower abdomen and across the swell of your belly, where an ugly scar sits. It decorates your skin with a long, uneven line of dried blood cells.

“It’s not too bad,” You assure, daring to test your luck by bringing your own hand to his hair. It causes the king of curses to pause. His ember eyes continue to stare at your scar, unable to swat your hand away for some reason. The wooden floor beneath him feels too cold. Or he feels too hot. He’s unsure.

In the dimness of the room, there is no light but the flickering glow emitted from the fire, ensconced within a cage of brick—a fireplace, by name. Yet, the warmth that enfolds you does not excrete solely from the flames. It originates from within, a pulsating heat that comes with the beat of your heart as a large palm finds your shoulder, urging you forward with an urgency that seems to echo through the very fibers of your being.

“What about this one?”His intense glare persists, averting your demure gaze. Never before have you witnessed him in such a state, making you wonder whether this demeanor is a consequence of recent events.

“It’s fine, I promise,” Your whispered words cause his gaze to harden even further, his thumb tracing over another, deeper cut nestled in the valley between your breasts. This one could have been fatal. The realization sends a shiver down his spine, unsettling him to his core. Sukuna, the ancient and ruthless curse, has borne witness to countless horrors in his long existence, inflicted unspeakable cruelty upon countless souls, but none have shaken him to his core quite like seeing you teetering on the brink of death. The memory stirs within him an unfamiliar sense of disquiet, a realization that his desires may have consequences far more profound than he ever anticipated.

The brawny curse grunts in response, opting to continue examining the scar. He’s careful to not stretch it as your human flesh would hurt. 

Sukuna’s agenda never included leaving a child within you. It never even crossed his mind. Such muses were not to be entertained, especially not with you.

You. Yeah, you who doesn't try to kill humans simply for the pleasure it brings. You who takes life so lightly, as if you have several souls to spare. You who accepts every word Sukuna says as an indisputable fact, every order executed before he has a chance to reconsider.

You, who has shared your bed with the strongest curse more times than he cares to count, always intrigued him—an enigmatic subject for his manipulations. You, who confided in him the startling revelation that your half-cursed body now nurtures a growing fetus.

At first, Sukuna swore he'd never visit you again, adamant in his belief that he wanted no involvement in your pregnancy, leaving you to navigate the situation alone. Despite his capability to end your life without hesitation, he chose to spare you. Sukuna granted you a reprieve under the condition that he never crosses paths with you or whatever child you carry. He told himself time and time again that you would be a rather boring kill, not worth the effort. But it wasn't about the difficulty of ending your life—it was an excuse. He'd never admit that he doesn't want your blood staining his hands

Sukuna swears he’s not soft, that he doesn’t care for you at all.But the notion of being the one who brings you to your end does not enthrall him in the least.

He doesn’t care for the inferior likes of you, he reminds himself. That’s absurd. It’s laughable. It’s offensive, even. He doesn’t ‘care’, It’s simply curiosity that keeps him around. Curious of what kind of child the one you carry would come out to be. To see if they’d be worthy of being called his kin or not.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Your voice is dulcet, a melody that cuts his train of thought smoothly. Unlike anything he’s ever heard before. There’s a pleading tone, a need so urgent it's almost painful. He finds pleasure in that. Your perpetual longing for him, your unwavering loyalty even after his defeat by sorcerers the first time around—you kept him close like a devoted guardian to a fallen hero, even when you knew is anything but a hero. It's a power unlike any other—staying but not out of fear, it's a choice. A strong belief.

Balancing on his knees between her parted legs, he reaches out, his fingers finding purchase on the edge of the bed. His grip tightens instinctively, fingers slipping beneath the hem of the sheet as he steadies himself. With a controlled effort, he pushes upward, leveraging the bed for support as he rises to his feet

“Why do you ask questions you know the answer to?” He muses, his towering frame looking down at you. The flickering flames of the fire, their orange hues swirling and weaving a macabre tapestry around his countenance, lend him an aura of terror that would instill fear in any who behold him. Yet, unlike others, you find his presence strangely comforting. Despite the aura of terror he exudes, you've grown accustomed to it, finding solace in his formidable presence now more than ever before.

Your only reaction is to chew on the inside of your cheek, careful to not bite the fiber too hard. There’s an ambivalent air to him, remaining motionless as he towers over you. It seems as if he’s looking for something. Anything. He wants a reason to stay, but he can’t seem to find one satisfying enough.

He owes you nothing. But when you look at him like that… He’s never been one to falter at your pleading face, but perhaps he’s changing little by little. He staunchly refuses to acknowledge this change still, for him to do so would be an admission of vulnerability, a humiliation he cannot bear, even to himself. How he yearns for the willpower to end you, to push you away so you never obstruct his way like this again.

The worst part of it all is his acute awareness of why he feels so strongly now. He knows that it’s all him, and not at all you. He can pinpoint the exact moment he regret leaving your side. The memory is seared into his very core. 

He wishes he could forget, to erase the haunting image of you, wounded and bleeding, from his mind. 

It was when he came back a few days after his departure, for reasons he can’t recall, only to be greeted by the sight of a malevolent curse looming over you, hungry and poised to make you its next meal. He shouldn’t have intervened. It's the natural order—a relentless cycle where only the strongest survive, preying upon the weaker. He knows he's no exception. Nor are you.

But seeing you sprawled out on the floor, barely intact, with his child inside of you. 

He gulps at the memory, feeling an overwhelming urge to touch you once more, to make sure you’re not some figment of his imagination. To keep you from harm. You’re so stupid, so goddamn naive. He doesn’t know what to make of you. Other than a fucking headache.

“What is it? What do you want, brat?” He hopes to catch some semblance of his normal attitude. “Get it over with.”

“Please stay,” You plead, fingers gently gripping the open kimono he had thrown on once finished with you. “Please, Sukuna-sama.”

He sighs. You’re so obstinate.

Perhaps it's his lack of understanding that breeds hesitation within him, or perhaps it's his inherently fierce nature. A thing like you deserves to be treated with the utmost delicacy, cherished and nurtured. Sukuna, with his staunch commitment solely to his ideals, can never be the one assuming such a role for you.

“You’re doing things to me, you know?” Sukuna gets down, kneeling between your parted legs again, placing a warm palm in either side of your hips and seizing you within.

Maybe… staying with you tonight wasn’t such a ludicrous notion. He’s the king of curses; he  has all the time in the world to fret the trivial details.

[babysukiii]

fallingforyou (4)

(i changed my username, i used to be @fckoffjakegyllenhaal grraaaa🍘🍘)

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, lottie is an actual idiot but she’s the cutest idiot <3

DISCLAIMER: english is not my first language, i usually edit my works well but haven’t had time. please excuse any mistakes i made here

don’t you see me?

on monday morning lottie is in a much better mood than she usually is. all of her friends notice right away, especially laura lee. though nobody is really sure why; she wasn’t at becky martin’s bonfire, and she hadn’t gone to the mall with the girls on saturday. though, it didn’t take natalie long to put the pieces together and figure out why lottie was in such a particularly flavorful mood. as soon as the blonde spoke to you, and heard about your friday night with lottie and elise, natalie knows you’re the reason behind everything.

and as soon as soccer practice rolls around, natalie has a shit eating grin on her face. she sees lottie pulling her practice jersey over her head, and doesn’t hesitate to taunt the noirette the moment she sees her. “a little birdy told me you spent the weekend with y/n.” natalie’s smug voice causes lottie’s carefree expression to sour. the taller girl scowls, “was that little birdy y/n?” she questions, and natalie lets out a loud bark of a laugh. “holy shit it’s true! you seriously went out with y/n and elise!” natalie sounds like a child who just discovered something new and crazy. it causes lottie to send a glower natalie’s way, “it was just a stupid party. besides, it’s a good thing i was there; elise practically ditched y/n when they got there! all night!” lottie appears to be genuinely upset by this.

the blonde quirks a brow at the taller girl, “huh, it actually sounds like you gave a shit about y/n’s wellbeing.” natalie mockingly states, earning a dirty look from the raven haired girl. “don’t look at me like that! just two weeks ago you were going on and on about how annoying she was. now you’re at her place every day after school.” natalie casually calls her out as she opens her locker. “i still think she’s annoying.” lottie doesn’t even sound convincing to herself as she says this, and natalie shoots her an “are you serious” look.

“you don’t even believe that!” natalie laughs at the taller girl, and lottie frowns before closing her locker. “what do you want me to say?? that i actually like spending time with her? it doesn’t matter anyways because after the projects over she isn’t going to have a reason to talk to me anymore.” lottie deadpans, and natalie can see how bothered lottie seems by this revelation. “you do realize y/n is like the sweetest person ever, right? she’s not just gonna stop hanging out with you because the projects over.” natalie assures her, and lottie stares at her seriously, “she is after the way i treated her for the last few years.” she lowly murmurs, almost quiet enough for natalie not to hear, but she does.

before the blonde can say anything else, coach is blowing his whistle from outside the locker room, signaling for the girls to get on the field. their conversation is cut short, even though natalie has more to say. the blonde knows you better than to know you’d just stop talking to lottie abruptly, after forming a friendship with her. you talk about lottie nonstop whenever you’re with natalie, and though lottie may be too oblivious to notice, natalie can tell you both are pining for one another.

natalie is well aware that lottie is stubborn; it’s one of the many things they have in common. if natalie actually wants to show her best friend that you’re both obviously interested in each other, she’s going to have to convince you first. the next day at school, natalie finds you at your locker. you’re smiling softly as you rummage around for your the book you’re reading in your english class. “hey y/n/n.” she greets you casually, and your smile only widens at the sound of your friends voice. “hey nat! look what i got!” you shrug your backpack off and natalie watches in amusement as you pull out a new metallica cd.

the taller girls orbs widen at the sight, and she reaches out to take the cd. “holy shit! this thing hit the store yesterday, how did you get this?” natalie inquires and you grin, “i made elise stand in line to get it. she owed me. that one’s for you, i got one too and i got lottie a pixies cd.” you aimlessly go on as you shut your backpack, looking up at natalie as you slink it over your shoulder. once you notice the smirk on your friends face, your smile vacillates as you flash natalie a suspecting look. “what?” you ask question uncertainly.

natalie shrugs, “you and lottie are getting pretty close if you know what kind of music she listens to. she never talks about herself too much; it took me two years just to learn her favorite color.” natalie admits, and your cheeks turn a shade of pink at the statement. “lottie’s just a little prickly on the outside, but she’s a bit nice on the inside.” you admit, and natalie’s complacent grin causes you to grow a bit confused. “w-why does it matter? aren’t you the one who was hoping lottie would warm up to me?” you inquire incredulously.

“well yeah, but i think lottie ended up warming up to you a little too much.” the blonde’s tone is suggestive, and causes your insides to feel hot. “what are you talking about, nat?” you demand, getting more and more embarrassed by the second. judging by how flushed your cheeks are, natalie can see you know exactly what she’s talking about. “oh come on, y/n. you know lottie’s been different since she started hanging out with you; everyone’s noticed!” she declares, doing nothing to ease the ferocious blush on your face. “everyone’s noticed?” your voice is now full of insecurity and natalie rolls her eyes.

“yes. everyone on the team knows. van and tai even have a bet going to see who’ll profess their undying love for each other first; you or lottie.” natalie’s revelation causes your eyes to widen in clear shock. “what!? but— but lottie hates me!” you whisper yell, making natalie flash you a skeptical look. “you seriously still think lottie hates you?” she inquires, a bit unsure. you shrug, “i’m pretty sure she’s only hanging at my house so much cause she doesn’t want to go home. i don’t know why she doesn’t want to go home, but i don’t question it.” you answer, and natalie searches your face for any signs of dishonesty.

“look, i admit lottie hates her house… but i don’t think she’s been at your place every day after school just because of it. you’re not that dense, i know you can see how different she’s been lately. that’s because of you.” natalie sentimentally adds, and you look down at your hands; playing with your fingers nervously. “what if you’re wrong? what if lottie still hates me and after the project is over, she’s never gonna talk to me again? or worse, she’ll go back to being a jerk to me.” natalie notices the timorous silence that follows, and she sighs.

“you guys are both very oblivious. just talk to her about it.” natalie emphasizes the word “talk”, while you gnaw on your bottom lip nervously. throughout the day you think about lottie, and how much has changed between you two. she went from not being able to stand you, to not being able to be away from you. you enjoyed being with lottie; all the time you two spend together, you’re happy. though you’re afraid she might just be acting so differently just because you two are paired up together.

“hey y/n, i know we’re supposed to go to yours after school, but did you wanna stop by that new pretzel place down the street?” lottie asks, sounding nervous as ever. she’s standing alone in the girls restroom, staring at her reflection. she groans, “that was awful.” she murmurs, and she hears a snicker from one of the stalls, causing her to tense up. lottie’s dread turns to annoyance when she sees mari coming out of the handicapped stall.

“you were listening the whole time?” lottie skeptically asks, and mari nods. “yup, i hid when i saw you come in here. you never use the bathroom at school, so i though i’d get to hear you breakdown or something.” mari shrugs, and lottie glares at the shorter girl. “what? got nothing better to do than wait around for some gossip?” lottie retorts with a glower, and mari chuckles. “maybe. it’s my free period, and i have that class with laura lee. if i have to sit next to her again and hear her “babble” to god every time she gets stuck on a difficult question…” mari trails off, and lottie shakes her head in dismay.

“so you’re practicing to ask y/n out? to a pretzel place?” mari questions incredulously, lottie shifts, suddenly remembering her insecurities from a moment ago. “uh, yeah. something like that.” lottie responds, and mari nods. “you should take her to that milkshake place instead. she likes sweet stuff.” the latina points out, and lottie raises a brow. “and how do you know that?” the taller girl inquires skeptically.

“because she’s always making sweet stuff during home ec. her cupcakes come out really good. hey, if she becomes your girlfriend, you should convince her to bake us celebration cupcakes.” mari’s eyes glint with excitement as she loses track of what she was talking about. lottie shakes her head, “i can’t even ask her in a date without sounding like an idiot. so i think her being my girlfriend is clearly out of the question.” she mumbles, and mari rolls her eyes in clear annoyance.

“your self depreciating bull shit is so boring. you’re on the soccer team, you’re popular, you’re rich; y/n is gonna say yes. any girl with half a brain would.” mari points out, and lottie flashes her a look. “y/n isn’t like you or any girl who thinks like that. she’s nice.” lottie says, and the thought of you causes her to get this love struck look in her eyes. mari laughs, “jesus, you’re like so in love with her it’s hilarious. didn’t you say the girl talks way too much, she’s annoying, can’t take a hint—“ lottie cuts mari off with a threatening glare.

“i know what i said.” the yellowjackets sweeper says angrily, and mari has this shit eating grin on her face. “insufferable. that’s what you also said.” the latina declares, causing lottie to shoot daggers at her with her eyes. “what changed? did you guys hookup?” mari asks with a glimmer of mischief in her dark orbs. lottie’s eyes widen, her ears burning at thought of hooking up with you. “no! that’s not— we didn’t—“ lottie begins to fumble over her words, making mari giggle annoyingly. “relax. you can’t even ask her out, i doubt you’d even know how to initiate a hookup.” mari shakes her head.

“like i said, just ask her to the milkshake place.” mari concludes, “later, matthews, we’re hanging out at the mall tomorrow after practice. bring your girlfriend if you want.” the shorter girl sniggers as she makes her way out of the girls restroom. lottie is left alone with her thoughts, and doubts. mari might have a point about the milkshake place, but she also had a point when she reminded lottie about all the stuff she had said about you. suddenly there was this antagonizing feeling of guilt that flooded over her.

when lottie sees you waiting for her in the parking lot after school, with that cute smile of yours, the guilt returns. “hey, wanna get a milkshake before we go to your place?” lottie tries to sound nonchalant, but your eyes light up in the most adorable way. her heart clenches in her chest, “yes! i’ve been craving one of the peanut butter milkshakes with chocolate.” you admit as you both walk towards the car where her driver is already holding the door open. “we’re stopping at the diner down the street.” lottie tells him, as you get into the car.

the entire ride there lottie is quiet, and deep in thought. you try not to worry, considering she’s being nice and offering to take you to get a milkshake. though when you both order and you pay, lottie’s mood shifts entirely. she’s quiet for a minute after sitting down at a booth, “why did you pay?” lottie asks, unable to stop herself from asking. you flash her a look, “cause i wanted to.” you respond simply, and lottie frowns.

you’re about to say something else, but lottie beats you to it. “i was a dick to you.” the jock states in this inscrutable tone, staring at you with those sad brown eyes that always make you weak. you shake your head, about to protest, but lottie continues, “i called you annoying, made fun of you, and if you knew half of the things i said about you—“ you cut lottie off, “i do.” you cut in, “i do know what you said about me. up until we started working together on the project, jackie used to tell me all of the rude things you’d say about me in the locker room…” you start, and lottie clenches her jaw, there’s that self-condemnation again. she’s never been so mean to someone before, and now she’s never regretted anything more.

“… why do you think i practically begged ms. weinstein to switch my partner after i found out it was you?” you ask her pointedly, and she shuts her eyes for a moment. “one peanut butter chocolate milkshake, and one strawberry vanilla milkshake.” the waitress places your milkshakes on the table, before walking off. you look at lottie who still looks like a guilty puppy. you giggle, “lottie, relax. i’m not upset about any of that.” you assure her, and she looks at you with a shocked expression. “you should be!” she declares, and you tilt your head at her, flashing her a soft yet stern look.

“well, i’m not.” you respond, as you take a sip of your milkshake. “if you’re really bothered by me paying, you can pay next time.” you add, flashing her an impish smile. her eyebrows nearly meet her hairline as her eyes widen slightly at the fact that you’re making it clear you want to hang out with her again. “even after the project is over?” she suddenly sounds a bit insecure, and you can’t help but grin. “yes, even after the project is over. as long as that’s okay with you, lot.” you tell her sincerely, and something in her belly flutters.

she can’t stop herself from smiling before she takes a sip of her milkshake. “that’s more than okay with me, y/n.” she admits, a light flush coating her cheeks. you quickly follow suit, your cheeks turning the cutest shake of pink lottie has ever seen. maybe she owes mari a thank you for the milkshake tip, but she won’t give the latina the satisfaction of it.