#lottie matthews x fem reader angst

[babysukiii]

fallingforyou (4)

(i changed my username, i used to be @fckoffjakegyllenhaal grraaaa��🍘)

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, lottie is an actual idiot but she’s the cutest idiot <3

DISCLAIMER: english is not my first language, i usually edit my works well but haven’t had time. please excuse any mistakes i made here

don’t you see me?

on monday morning lottie is in a much better mood than she usually is. all of her friends notice right away, especially laura lee. though nobody is really sure why; she wasn’t at becky martin’s bonfire, and she hadn’t gone to the mall with the girls on saturday. though, it didn’t take natalie long to put the pieces together and figure out why lottie was in such a particularly flavorful mood. as soon as the blonde spoke to you, and heard about your friday night with lottie and elise, natalie knows you’re the reason behind everything.

and as soon as soccer practice rolls around, natalie has a shit eating grin on her face. she sees lottie pulling her practice jersey over her head, and doesn’t hesitate to taunt the noirette the moment she sees her. “a little birdy told me you spent the weekend with y/n.” natalie’s smug voice causes lottie’s carefree expression to sour. the taller girl scowls, “was that little birdy y/n?” she questions, and natalie lets out a loud bark of a laugh. “holy shit it’s true! you seriously went out with y/n and elise!” natalie sounds like a child who just discovered something new and crazy. it causes lottie to send a glower natalie’s way, “it was just a stupid party. besides, it’s a good thing i was there; elise practically ditched y/n when they got there! all night!” lottie appears to be genuinely upset by this.

the blonde quirks a brow at the taller girl, “huh, it actually sounds like you gave a shit about y/n’s wellbeing.” natalie mockingly states, earning a dirty look from the raven haired girl. “don’t look at me like that! just two weeks ago you were going on and on about how annoying she was. now you’re at her place every day after school.” natalie casually calls her out as she opens her locker. “i still think she’s annoying.” lottie doesn’t even sound convincing to herself as she says this, and natalie shoots her an “are you serious” look.

“you don’t even believe that!” natalie laughs at the taller girl, and lottie frowns before closing her locker. “what do you want me to say?? that i actually like spending time with her? it doesn’t matter anyways because after the projects over she isn’t going to have a reason to talk to me anymore.” lottie deadpans, and natalie can see how bothered lottie seems by this revelation. “you do realize y/n is like the sweetest person ever, right? she’s not just gonna stop hanging out with you because the projects over.” natalie assures her, and lottie stares at her seriously, “she is after the way i treated her for the last few years.” she lowly murmurs, almost quiet enough for natalie not to hear, but she does.

before the blonde can say anything else, coach is blowing his whistle from outside the locker room, signaling for the girls to get on the field. their conversation is cut short, even though natalie has more to say. the blonde knows you better than to know you’d just stop talking to lottie abruptly, after forming a friendship with her. you talk about lottie nonstop whenever you’re with natalie, and though lottie may be too oblivious to notice, natalie can tell you both are pining for one another.

natalie is well aware that lottie is stubborn; it’s one of the many things they have in common. if natalie actually wants to show her best friend that you’re both obviously interested in each other, she’s going to have to convince you first. the next day at school, natalie finds you at your locker. you’re smiling softly as you rummage around for your the book you’re reading in your english class. “hey y/n/n.” she greets you casually, and your smile only widens at the sound of your friends voice. “hey nat! look what i got!” you shrug your backpack off and natalie watches in amusement as you pull out a new metallica cd.

the taller girls orbs widen at the sight, and she reaches out to take the cd. “holy shit! this thing hit the store yesterday, how did you get this?” natalie inquires and you grin, “i made elise stand in line to get it. she owed me. that one’s for you, i got one too and i got lottie a pixies cd.” you aimlessly go on as you shut your backpack, looking up at natalie as you slink it over your shoulder. once you notice the smirk on your friends face, your smile vacillates as you flash natalie a suspecting look. “what?” you ask question uncertainly.

natalie shrugs, “you and lottie are getting pretty close if you know what kind of music she listens to. she never talks about herself too much; it took me two years just to learn her favorite color.” natalie admits, and your cheeks turn a shade of pink at the statement. “lottie’s just a little prickly on the outside, but she’s a bit nice on the inside.” you admit, and natalie’s complacent grin causes you to grow a bit confused. “w-why does it matter? aren’t you the one who was hoping lottie would warm up to me?” you inquire incredulously.

“well yeah, but i think lottie ended up warming up to you a little too much.” the blonde’s tone is suggestive, and causes your insides to feel hot. “what are you talking about, nat?” you demand, getting more and more embarrassed by the second. judging by how flushed your cheeks are, natalie can see you know exactly what she’s talking about. “oh come on, y/n. you know lottie’s been different since she started hanging out with you; everyone’s noticed!” she declares, doing nothing to ease the ferocious blush on your face. “everyone’s noticed?” your voice is now full of insecurity and natalie rolls her eyes.

“yes. everyone on the team knows. van and tai even have a bet going to see who’ll profess their undying love for each other first; you or lottie.” natalie’s revelation causes your eyes to widen in clear shock. “what!? but— but lottie hates me!” you whisper yell, making natalie flash you a skeptical look. “you seriously still think lottie hates you?” she inquires, a bit unsure. you shrug, “i’m pretty sure she’s only hanging at my house so much cause she doesn’t want to go home. i don’t know why she doesn’t want to go home, but i don’t question it.” you answer, and natalie searches your face for any signs of dishonesty.

“look, i admit lottie hates her house… but i don’t think she’s been at your place every day after school just because of it. you’re not that dense, i know you can see how different she’s been lately. that’s because of you.” natalie sentimentally adds, and you look down at your hands; playing with your fingers nervously. “what if you’re wrong? what if lottie still hates me and after the project is over, she’s never gonna talk to me again? or worse, she’ll go back to being a jerk to me.” natalie notices the timorous silence that follows, and she sighs.

“you guys are both very oblivious. just talk to her about it.” natalie emphasizes the word “talk”, while you gnaw on your bottom lip nervously. throughout the day you think about lottie, and how much has changed between you two. she went from not being able to stand you, to not being able to be away from you. you enjoyed being with lottie; all the time you two spend together, you’re happy. though you’re afraid she might just be acting so differently just because you two are paired up together.

“hey y/n, i know we’re supposed to go to yours after school, but did you wanna stop by that new pretzel place down the street?” lottie asks, sounding nervous as ever. she’s standing alone in the girls restroom, staring at her reflection. she groans, “that was awful.” she murmurs, and she hears a snicker from one of the stalls, causing her to tense up. lottie’s dread turns to annoyance when she sees mari coming out of the handicapped stall.

“you were listening the whole time?” lottie skeptically asks, and mari nods. “yup, i hid when i saw you come in here. you never use the bathroom at school, so i though i’d get to hear you breakdown or something.” mari shrugs, and lottie glares at the shorter girl. “what? got nothing better to do than wait around for some gossip?” lottie retorts with a glower, and mari chuckles. “maybe. it’s my free period, and i have that class with laura lee. if i have to sit next to her again and hear her “babble” to god every time she gets stuck on a difficult question…” mari trails off, and lottie shakes her head in dismay.

“so you’re practicing to ask y/n out? to a pretzel place?” mari questions incredulously, lottie shifts, suddenly remembering her insecurities from a moment ago. “uh, yeah. something like that.” lottie responds, and mari nods. “you should take her to that milkshake place instead. she likes sweet stuff.” the latina points out, and lottie raises a brow. “and how do you know that?” the taller girl inquires skeptically.

“because she’s always making sweet stuff during home ec. her cupcakes come out really good. hey, if she becomes your girlfriend, you should convince her to bake us celebration cupcakes.” mari’s eyes glint with excitement as she loses track of what she was talking about. lottie shakes her head, “i can’t even ask her in a date without sounding like an idiot. so i think her being my girlfriend is clearly out of the question.” she mumbles, and mari rolls her eyes in clear annoyance.

“your self depreciating bull shit is so boring. you’re on the soccer team, you’re popular, you’re rich; y/n is gonna say yes. any girl with half a brain would.” mari points out, and lottie flashes her a look. “y/n isn’t like you or any girl who thinks like that. she’s nice.” lottie says, and the thought of you causes her to get this love struck look in her eyes. mari laughs, “jesus, you’re like so in love with her it’s hilarious. didn’t you say the girl talks way too much, she’s annoying, can’t take a hint—“ lottie cuts mari off with a threatening glare.

“i know what i said.” the yellowjackets sweeper says angrily, and mari has this shit eating grin on her face. “insufferable. that’s what you also said.” the latina declares, causing lottie to shoot daggers at her with her eyes. “what changed? did you guys hookup?” mari asks with a glimmer of mischief in her dark orbs. lottie’s eyes widen, her ears burning at thought of hooking up with you. “no! that’s not— we didn’t—“ lottie begins to fumble over her words, making mari giggle annoyingly. “relax. you can’t even ask her out, i doubt you’d even know how to initiate a hookup.” mari shakes her head.

“like i said, just ask her to the milkshake place.” mari concludes, “later, matthews, we’re hanging out at the mall tomorrow after practice. bring your girlfriend if you want.” the shorter girl sniggers as she makes her way out of the girls restroom. lottie is left alone with her thoughts, and doubts. mari might have a point about the milkshake place, but she also had a point when she reminded lottie about all the stuff she had said about you. suddenly there was this antagonizing feeling of guilt that flooded over her.

when lottie sees you waiting for her in the parking lot after school, with that cute smile of yours, the guilt returns. “hey, wanna get a milkshake before we go to your place?” lottie tries to sound nonchalant, but your eyes light up in the most adorable way. her heart clenches in her chest, “yes! i’ve been craving one of the peanut butter milkshakes with chocolate.” you admit as you both walk towards the car where her driver is already holding the door open. “we’re stopping at the diner down the street.” lottie tells him, as you get into the car.

the entire ride there lottie is quiet, and deep in thought. you try not to worry, considering she’s being nice and offering to take you to get a milkshake. though when you both order and you pay, lottie’s mood shifts entirely. she’s quiet for a minute after sitting down at a booth, “why did you pay?” lottie asks, unable to stop herself from asking. you flash her a look, “cause i wanted to.” you respond simply, and lottie frowns.

you’re about to say something else, but lottie beats you to it. “i was a dick to you.” the jock states in this inscrutable tone, staring at you with those sad brown eyes that always make you weak. you shake your head, about to protest, but lottie continues, “i called you annoying, made fun of you, and if you knew half of the things i said about you—“ you cut lottie off, “i do.” you cut in, “i do know what you said about me. up until we started working together on the project, jackie used to tell me all of the rude things you’d say about me in the locker room…” you start, and lottie clenches her jaw, there’s that self-condemnation again. she’s never been so mean to someone before, and now she’s never regretted anything more.

“… why do you think i practically begged ms. weinstein to switch my partner after i found out it was you?” you ask her pointedly, and she shuts her eyes for a moment. “one peanut butter chocolate milkshake, and one strawberry vanilla milkshake.” the waitress places your milkshakes on the table, before walking off. you look at lottie who still looks like a guilty puppy. you giggle, “lottie, relax. i’m not upset about any of that.” you assure her, and she looks at you with a shocked expression. “you should be!” she declares, and you tilt your head at her, flashing her a soft yet stern look.

“well, i’m not.” you respond, as you take a sip of your milkshake. “if you’re really bothered by me paying, you can pay next time.” you add, flashing her an impish smile. her eyebrows nearly meet her hairline as her eyes widen slightly at the fact that you’re making it clear you want to hang out with her again. “even after the project is over?” she suddenly sounds a bit insecure, and you can’t help but grin. “yes, even after the project is over. as long as that’s okay with you, lot.” you tell her sincerely, and something in her belly flutters.

she can’t stop herself from smiling before she takes a sip of her milkshake. “that’s more than okay with me, y/n.” she admits, a light flush coating her cheeks. you quickly follow suit, your cheeks turning the cutest shake of pink lottie has ever seen. maybe she owes mari a thank you for the milkshake tip, but she won’t give the latina the satisfaction of it.

[nymphaiofmoros]

Televangelism

.⋆☾𓃦☽⋆⁺ fem! reader x lottie matthews

words; 2,788

♱ summary; after having a strange dream about Lottie, you go to her for guidance and explanation. She advises you that the dream might be a prophecy, and that you need to recreate it with her.

beware; blood, cannibalism, animal death, kissing, just in general very gross, brain stuff, not for people with a weak stomach, and a little toxic (?).

a/n ; this took aaaages, but i'm glad i finally finished it. this goes out to all my fellow freaks out there. (likes and reblogs are greatly appreaciated, i poured my blood, sweat and tears on this (╥_╥))

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⛧°。 ⋆༺♱༻⋆。 °⛧⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re horrified at the sight in front of you. Lottie, wearing a long white gown, which makes her look even more angelic than usual, hunched down on the ground. Her gown was dirty and scratched and torn, her face smeared with dark red blood. You couldn’t see very well, but what you could see was her bringing something up to her mouth, then tearing it with her teeth, eating it like an animal. Trying your hardest to focus your weary eyes, you step closer and closer, the thing she was eating becoming more visible. It was a middle-aged man by the looks of it, you had never seen him before. Lottie doesn’t notice you just yet, instead, she continues her ‘meal’. She wipes her bloody mouth with her hand, which only causes more blood to smear on her cheek. Suddenly, she turns her head, looking straight at you. Her expression was blank, but her eyes were oh-so expressive. She looked hungry.

Wild, primal. She slowly stands up, and you – intimidated – take a cautious step back. She looked terrifying, but for some reason, you couldn’t look away from this gross, animalistic display. You only stand there, paralyzed. She takes a sudden step forward, and before you can flinch back, she grabs the back of your head. She doesn’t try to be gentle – or even human. You don’t move, instead you watch her. She tilts her head – like a curious cat who has just caught a mouse, leaning closer, inspecting you like she has never seen a human before. Your lips shake, as you try to open them and speak, but it seems that your vocal cords have disappeared. As your lips part, and you’re on the verge of whispering a bundle of confused words, when she presses her lips onto yours. It didn’t feel like a kiss – it was ravenous. She tried to slide her tongue into your mouth, trying to force you to taste the blood and flesh and meat she had consumed. You could feel your lips and tongue getting numb, but you couldn’t pull away, like a force was keeping you locked in this disgusting, primal kiss. You could only open your eyes, and when you do, you see hers. They were dark, almost black, and bloodshot. You stare and stare at them, as you feel her start to bite at your lips, making them bleed. You feel them starting to bleed – is she trying to eat you as well? You’re panting heavily, unable to move, and just as you’re about to scream–

You wake up.

Shooting up from your spot on the cabin floor, you glance around the room. It’s dark, but through the dark blue hue that was created from the midnight sky, you could make out bodies on the floor, asleep. You were okay – you were safe. You were still in the wilderness, but you were safe. You had Lottie, right? That was just a weird dream, she would never, ever do something like that. You turn your head to the spot Lottie was sleeping at, which wasn’t far from you. Her dark, wavy, and messy hair is splayed out on the wooden floor, her face relaxed. She looked so beautifully innocent in her sleep, like she could do no wrong. She looks pretty even when she’s asleep, you thought, she must be God’s favorite.

You stare at the back of her head, debating. Should you wake her up and explain what you saw? Maybe the dream was a prophecy– but no, that would be horrifying. With a frustrated sigh, you turn, and lay back down to sleep.

In the morning, you stay in the cabin. While everyone’s doing their chores, you stand at the window, watching them. Your gaze keeps moving back to Lottie, who was sitting on a log, by herself. She was staring down at her hands, fiddling with them. Her gaze looked… far away, like she wasn’t there at the moment. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to go outside and talk to her. Making sure the coast is clear, you reluctantly turn the door handle of the cabin door and step outside.

You sit down next to Lottie, both of you silent. She looks up when she notices your presence, her eyebrows furrowing just a little, giving her that sad baby deer look. The morning light hit the side of her face perfectly, giving her an orange-y glow. You knew neither of you wanted to speak up first, so you decided to just do it. “I had a weird dream last night,” you mumble, just loud enough for her to hear it. Her head perks a bit, and she tilts her head curiously, “What was it about?” she asks, her voice soft and curious. Oh you innocent little lamb.

“Um,” you let out a breath, “It’s just– really weird, are you sure you wanna hear it?”. She nods, humming in affirmation. You sigh, reluctant. But you had to let it out. You needed to find the meaning of it. “Okay…” you take a deep breath, your gaze locked on the grass under your feet. You didn’t dare look at her as you started explaining. 

“I- I saw you… you were crouched down, in the forest, and you were all bloody-” you stop to take in a stressed breath, “I mean, you had blood smeared on your face, around your mouth. You looked like you were eating something-”, you make gestures with your hands, flailing them around as you try to explain. “I tried to focus and I saw something… like a middle-aged man, on the ground? His head was like- split open. And you were… eating his… brain, I think?” you look up at her, waiting for a reaction. She just stares, with that concerned look she always has on her face. Despite her expression, she nods for you to continue. You nod back, gulping nervously, “And um… then you… you kissed me. But it wasn’t like- a romantic kiss. It’s like you were trying to feed me that brain or whatever it was you were eating and it was just– really weird, okay?” you huff, getting frustrated with yourself. You turn to look at her again, and she’s silent. She seems to be thinking, and although she looks a little disturbed, all she ends up muttering is: “That must be a prophecy.”

You scoff. Well, a little rudely, but you couldn’t help it. That was a weird ass dream, not a goddamn prophecy. “Not it wasn’t, Lot, it was just a dumb dream-” “No it wasn’t.”. Lottie’s face is serious, so you decide to shut up. With a frustrated sigh, you try to ration with her. “Why do you think it’s a prophecy and not some stupid movie my brain made up?” you ask, feeling bad for doubting her, but she was acting delusional. “I know it. I can feel it.” she insists. Her expression was stern, her eyebrows furrowed. You couldn’t help but feel bad for doubting her. Her doe eyes were too much for you, you were starting to convince yourself it was a prophecy. Damn you, Lottie. “Fine, it’s a prophecy.” you sigh, giving up, “What now?”

“We need to recreate it.” 

She was serious. Your face pales a little at her tone and face. The atmosphere felt a little darker. But you trust her, right? She’s just being Lottie, with her wilderness mumbo-jumbo. She won’t actually go and kill a man to recreate your dream. And definitely won’t make out with you while eating that said man to recreate your dream… right?

“Why am I doing this?”, you let out a frustrated breath. You looked around you, it was dark and you could barely see what you were stepping on. You set down a make-shift torch, made of wood and fabric, that you had lit up. Lottie told you to replicate the scene in your dream as closely as you could remember. “Okay… there was a torch behind her, and one over here…” you mutter to yourself, placing the second torch down. You remember three torches specifically, two behind her, one to the side. You place the third torch down. You sigh, stepping back, and looking at the scene. Pretty damn close. All you had to do now was stand there and wait for Lottie, praying that she didn’t actually magically find a middle-aged man and kill him for this.

You sit down on the forest floor and wait for what feels like ages, when you hear rustling. It’s getting louder and louder, closer and closer. Your head perks up, and you turn your head frantically to where the noise is coming from. It sounded like… something being dragged on the ground, coming towards you. You could hear your pulse in your ear, your hands starting to sweat. You clutch at your jeans’ fabric, shooting up from the place you were sitting at. “Lottie?” you softly call out her name, both praying and dreading that it was indeed her. 

You finally see a figure through the bushes, as it slowly moves towards the faint orange light of the torches. It’s Lottie. Her hair is messy, and her face is painted with small blood splotches. Her expression is scarily blank, her jaw tightly clenched. As she walks further away from the bushes, your gaze slowly moves down to her hand. She was holding an antler. As your gaze moves further down, you quickly figure out that that antler belongs to a deer, dead, with a cut throat. Lottie drags the animal’s body until she reaches you. She drops the carcass down at her feet, her eyes still staring into your soul – blank, and unemotional. You huff, your eyebrows furrowed and your face crunched in a mix of... disgust? Bewilderment, fear? You didn’t even know.

“What the hell– Lottie, where did you get that?!” you whisper-yell, but she quickly replies back.

“Doesn’t matter.”, her voice is stern, demanding that you don’t ask any question. Your lips pressed together, frustrated. You wanted to get an answer, but something was holding back your vocal cords. Fear, maybe?

“Alright– fine, whatever, I will just accept that you randomly found a goddamn deer and killed it. What now?” your voice shakes a little, but you cover it up with a fake air of confidence. Lottie glances down at the carcass. The deer lay motionless, its eyes now soulless. The blood around the slash on its throat had dried up, and you could see a few bugs already trying to eat its remains. Lottie slowly kneels down, her movements almost robotic. She takes out a knife from her pocket – the blade having faint blood markings on it–, and she slowly cuts the top of the deer’s head, in a way where you could see its brain. You hold back a gag. “Jesus, Lot…” you mumble, feeling like you’re going to be sick. Lottie doesn’t pay any mind to you, and she continues methodically cutting. When she’s ‘done’, she drops the knife on the ground. You swallow your spit, pushing back any vomit that was trying to escape up your throat. Lottie looks up at you, her innocent doe eyes still making her look like an angel who does no wrong. Your mind is reeling, you don’t understand why you’re going along with this, but you are. With a shaky sigh, you take a small step back. You nod your head, silently understanding her just from her eyes. She nods back.

Lottie turns her head, staring down at the deer’s head. She moved her hand, and you could see a faint tremor in it. Her fingers finally reach the brain of the animal, digging into the gooey, bloody mess. She takes a scoop of the brain, bringing it up to her mouth. Her hand stuttered and stopped a few times, but whenever she hesitated, a determined twinkle appeared in her eyes. Finally, her teeth bite into the bloody mass, and she starts to chew. You swallow back vomit once again. You physically couldn’t look away – it was magnetizing. Like watching a horrific tragedy, and not being able to look away. The doe-eyed girl’s face scrunches from an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher. Disgust, maybe? You hoped that was the case, because if she was enjoying this… well, that could turn a lot more horrifying.

She starts devouring the matter, gnawing at the gooey and soft cerebrum. She looked more like a vicious dog rather than a person. You stayed frozen in your spot, repeating the words ‘whatthefuck’ in your brain over and over. You knew you were in too deep now, you couldn’t just back out. Blood was trickling down her chin, down to her white dress, ruining it. If you hadn’t seen her eating the deer’s brain and had only seen the aftermath, you would’ve thought she had stuffed down a couple of pomegranates. Your derailing train of thought gets cut off when you see Lottie standing up, her mouth a bloody mess, her eyes feral and wild. You gulp, involuntarily shivering when she starts walking closer to you. “Lot, hey–” you shake your head, trying to stop her, when she grabs the back of your head, her fingers digging into your scalp. You gasp, seeing a flash from your dream come back to you. Your breathing starts speeding up, and your pulse gets louder in your ears. You felt that frozen feeling you also felt in your dream, like your legs were glued to the ground, and your vocal cords couldn’t move. Lottie moves her face closer, and closer. Her gaze was intense, but not there. She didn’t look… present.

Suddenly, her lips are on yours. Your eyes shut out of instinct. You didn’t know if you liked this or not. On the one hand, this was Lottie. You’ve had a crush on her for a year and a half. On the other hand, she was a feral monster. She pushed the brain matter she was eating into your mouth, not waiting for your permission to enter your mouth. Her tongue explores the roof of your mouth, pushing the blood and all of the gross, mushy parts of the brain toward your throat. You got to gag, when she grabs your jaw with both hands. She was panting, like a rabid dog. She hadn’t closed her eyes for the ‘kiss’, she instead kept them wide open, looking into your eyes. Hungrily. 

Lottie’s fingers move down to the sides of your neck. She starts using her thumbs, rubbing in a downward motion. Her touch was surprisingly gentle, like she was a professional masseuse. She seemed to be trying to push the upcoming vomit down your throat, so it didn’t escape out of your mouth. Which… was strangely caring and sweet. 

Your eyes kept fluttering, debating if they should keep themselves shut or wide open. You were getting dizzy, your hands grabbing at Lottie’s arms and dress so you could keep your balance. With your vision getting more and more blurred, the combination of the kiss, the mix of emotions, and the gross taste of blood and brain matter on your tongue, you kept getting flashing images from your dream. She had the same wild look, and you felt the same trapped feeling. Lottie suddenly pulls away, letting out a gasp. She takes in a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She stumbles back, almost tripping on the deer carcass, and she raises her arm to wipe away the blood. Seeing the gesture, you also bring your arm up, wiping the blood she smeared on your mouth. Lottie stared at you, wide-eyed. She looked… human again. She takes a few stumbling steps towards you, and she suddenly loses strength in her legs, almost falling to the ground, but you manage to catch her by her arms. You pull her up, holding her close. “Oh my god– Lot, are you okay?!” you breathlessly say, trying to look at her face. 

Her messy, tangled dark hair was covering her features, the lack of good lighting and the mess of blood and mass make it difficult to see her expression. After a moment of tense silence, she turns her head to look up at you, strands of her hair sticking to her face from the sweat that adorned her face. “I saw– I saw It. I saw It.” 

“'It'-?” you scoff, trying to understand her quiet mumbles, “What is- what is ‘It’?”. Lottie shakes her head, frantic yet strangely calm at the same time. She tries to hold herself up, but she still has to hold onto you. “You’ll see soon.”

[1980shorrorfilm]

power & control

pairing…lottie matthews x fem!reader x shauna shipman

in which…when lottie grows distant, another yellowjacket finds you alone.

before you read…18+. angst. smut. silly shauna activities. blood drinking. the wilderness.

you’re pissed. 

it was meant to be a date. a picnic near the blossoming meadow on your poorly stitched blanket, away from the chaos of your peers, away from the faces lottie seemed to appreciate more than yours these days. 

travis and akilah. 

they’re the first people she greets in the morning, never waiting for you to wake these days, up and out of the tent and to them.

there are nights where lottie joins you in bed, and it’ll be the first full conversation you’re able to have before she dozes off nuzzled in your neck. the most physical contact she’s able to give you as of late, along with quick pecks on the apples of your cheeks on luckier days.

and it drives you mad, coming to realize that you care more. that the newfound gap between you two is seemingly only a problem on your end; she has bigger things to worry about. 

you trust lottie, and you have faith in her beliefs, but it does not make the sudden absence any easier.

especially today, now, as you sit alone by the wild flowers, your food already finished, and no desire to return to camp. there was no point, lottie would be gone anyway, and you’d just receive pity glares from your nosy friends.

“shit…this is just sad.”

your head snaps in the direction of the voice, eyes landing on shauna. her appearance doesn’t surprise you, you’re more shocked she didn’t follow you the minute you had left. perhaps it was the lack of lottie by your side, you no longer acting as her shadow, that shauna found confidence in fucking with you more. 

bumping into you frequently with a meaningless ‘sorry,’ whispered in your ear, or being…kinder, when her hands glide along the lower side of your back when she maneuvers behind you—it all depended on her mood. desperate to see you irritated, or flustered. 

when lottie is at the caves and you’re sat alone near the fire, she joins you, but she doesn’t converse. she sits and eyes you, examining you, either an act of intimidation or something you cannot explain.

it always ends with you huffing and storming to your and lottie’s tent, laying on your empty makeshift bed wishing she was there; giving you the attention shauna was.

and you feel humiliated for having to wish for such a thing.

“all alone out here…while your girlfriend is…with another girl?” 

you squint at her through your sunglasses, the girl leaning her back on a tree and sliding down it. she sits, a stone from the river in one hand and her knife in the other, scraping the metal against the rock. her eyes don’t leave you.

“not in the mood, shipman,” you say bluntly, returning to your comfortable position of lying down, eyelids closing behind the scratched-up lenses. you knew it wasn’t going to stop her, you could practically hear her thinking out loud. how to bug you more.

“you two break up or something?” shauna questions, partly serious and partly to get in your head. the idea you were no longer lottie’s…whatever you are, makes her damn near elated. then you wouldn’t follow her around like a lost fucking dog, god, shauna hated that. 

she hates sheep. you’re your own person and you treat lottie like your personal lord and savior, someone that clearly has so much power over you, you’re sulking in the woods because she didn’t want to join your little picnic.

at least she’s here to keep you company. even if it’s the worst kind. you should be grateful for her, really. 

“weren’t…dating,” you tell her, tone unsure with self-doubt, and shauna smirks. she gets in your head so easily. she goes silent, but her stare is loud, intense, and it seems like she’s sharpening her knife harder. or, it sounds like it.

her mouth opens again.

“you should give up. i mean, what do you think they’re doing right now? lottie says akilah helps her, right?” no, she did not word it like that, and shauna is well aware their time together is meant to benefit the entire group. her only goal right now is to feed the fire already burning inside of you.

she continues to speak nonchalantly, “i wonder what she’s helping her with.”

her brown eyes steady on you, trailing up your bare legs, to the hem of your shorts. she feels her mouth go dry. 

how the fuck did lottie get so lucky? lottie, out of all people? and just to leave you here, alone, while she’s communicating with the trees through another girl. shauna almost feels sorry for you. except, right now, she’s feeling something entirely different. something primal. 

she hums, head down and focused on the weapon in her hands, “no wonder your tents been so quiet…guess you’re not wanted.”

“fuck you,” you tell her lowly as soon as her mouth shuts, finally forcing yourself to sit up and acknowledge her. you take off the glasses, boring your eyes into her dark ones, but the confidence you had in challenging her, fades into the oblivion. 

you shrink into yourself, “can’t you do that somewhere else?”

“i don’t want to,” she says it like you’re stupid for even suggesting it.

you huff, with no desire to leave, and let her have this. you redirect your gaze ahead of you, hers never wavering. 

you manage to block her out for a while, lost in your own lottie-filled thoughts. wondering if she’s back at camp, or with akilah, or with travis. your last thought being if she thought of you at all, and wanted to see you. 

probably not. like shauna said, you’re not wanted.

you squeeze your eyes shut, only hearing the scrapping of shauna’s knife, growing more agitated by the second.

“is it not fucking sharp enough?” you groan, tossing your head back before looking at her once more. suddenly, she stops, and you freeze in place. 

shauna gets up, a blank expression on her face while she walks toward you, not minding the look of irritation on your face when her dirty shoes step on your blanket. she kneels before you, knees locking inches from yours, and the knife still very present in her calloused palm.

“i don’t know,” she says dumbly and points it at you, “you tell me.”

your pupils grow, falling to the sharp metal, then back to her face. her expression is serious and daring, leaving you puzzled with what she’s trying to request.

you wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted to you plunge it into your own heart.

you blink at her, and shauna laughs dryly, finding it cute how you seem to be waiting for some sort of instructions.

“touch it,” she says quietly, and now you want to laugh at her. what a stupid and childish request. you scoff and oblige, fingertip on the edge of the blade, thin and sharp just like how shauna intended it to be.

easy to cut through the toughest wood or the thickest meat.

a noise nearby distracts you from the moment, peering in the direction and quickly retreating your hand, managing to slice yourself in the process—which you don’t register until the stinging sensation pricks at your skin, blood forming at the surface. 

you don’t spot anyone or anything lurking around the trees, a cool breeze brushing against your bare skin that assures you it was only the wind in the first place. 

“jeez—paranoid much?” shauna laughs at you, grabbing your gaze again, “believe it or not, lottie isn’t in the fucking trees.”

you roll your eyes, while hers are on your fresh injury, at the tip of your pointer finger. your hand is tilted, the crimson forming an uneven trail down to your palm, dripping off halfway and on shauna’s beige pants—an immediate stain. 

you expect a scolding, but you don’t receive it, shauna is too busy eyeing you like the world’s biggest feast. without a word being said, she rests her knife beside her, her hand now holding yours, pulling it away from you and—to her mouth. 

for a split second, she stalls, an opportunity for you to react, even curse her out. 

you don’t. 

her lips part, closing around your finger, hungry tongue tracing the blood and swallowing, drinking you in. you should be grossed out, you really think you should, and push her away and yell at her and just do something.

she’s pulling you in, soft cheeks hollowing while she sucks away the dark metallic syrup, she looks like a vampire. the beautiful ones hung up on large portraits in dark castles, leaving you mesmerized and dizzy in a trance. 

then, she bites you. right above your knuckle, a whimper at the sharp unexpected pain that causes her to smirk around your finger. it wakes you from whatever the fuck you just felt, retreating your hand and holding it to your chest, “the fuck, shipman.”

“you’re such a…” you continue, when a figure emerges from your peripheral vision, causing your sentence to halt. your head turns, to lottie, arms crossed and studying the sight before her…she despises it. 

lottie clears her throat, “shauna, can you give us a moment?”

shauna chews the inner of her cheek, wishing you had any sort of backbone to tell her to fuck off and go back to akilah. she mutters beneath her breath as she stands; you only catch ‘puppy.’

“sure,” shauna begins to walk away, pausing in place to face you once more, “my tent will be empty at sundown—if you care.”

there’s an annoying sly grin on her face, one that shrinks and dies when she turns around and meets lottie, her tan hand locking around shauna’s forearm. 

“she doesn’t,” lottie speaks politely, staring at her like she could set her aflame with the power of her brown irises.

shauna appears similar, just ice rather than fire. anything she wants to tell lottie, freezes on her tongue, both girls having an unspoken staring contest before shauna tugs her arm back. she accepts defeat, glancing back at you with a scoff, then walking away, taking the path to camp.

now, lottie is zeroing in on you. she feels disrespected. 

lottie isn’t certain of many things, leaving fate and what’s meant to be in the hands of the wilderness, simply putting trust in what’s out of her control. but you—you’re different. she has you, all of you, in the palm of her hands and coursing through her veins every passing second in these woods. 

that’s why she’s here. 

lottie knew something was wrong…she couldn’t explain, but she felt it—the reason she parted ways with akilah earlier than usual. halfway to the cave and she stopped in her tracks, a deer sensing the car before seeing the headlights. the picnic. 

she remembered, your sweet offer that she so hurriedly declined. her heart dropped, even akilah saw it on her face; she had to find you.

and she did, with shauna. the knife, the blood, the unbreakable eye contact between you two. shauna was taking what wasn’t hers, what didn’t belong to her, you. and that is not right.

“you shouldn’t get close to her like that. you know better.”

“…what?”

“you’re not stupid, don’t act like it,” lottie continues to talk down to you like you’re a child, shoes kicking loose dirt while she walks toward you, hovering above your sat figure. 

“i—she joined me because you wouldn’t,” you try to defend yourself, looking up at her. the sun is shining directly above the canopy of trees, and it casts a light glow on the outline of her body. she looks like an angel. her mood, however, is the opposite.

still, you don’t back down.

“speaking of, akilah see anything yet? a cool vision? i dunno—a helicopter finding us? some fucking ambiguous hikers? or—”

“i suggest you quit talking,” lottie cuts you off, voice raising just a pinch, then she kneels to meet your line of sight. somehow it’s more intimidating than her literally towering over you.

her hand abruptly grabs the one shauna previously held, inspecting the minor wound. disgust flickers over her face, reimagining shauna’s actions, an act of intimacy that she’s forbidden from.

she clears her throat, her pupils moving rapidly as she looks through you, “do you not have faith?”

“i didn’t say that.”

“is that what this is? did she get in your head?”

“no,” you practically spit the answer at her, voice thick and impatient with her accusations, but it’s not enough for her to drop this.

“it’s you and me. it’s always been that way…don’t tell me you want otherwise.”

her statement is inquisitive, and according to your diverted eyes and silence, lottie doesn’t get the reassurance she needs. 

she leans in closer, hand cupping beneath your chin and forcing you to focus on her. she can not lose you, not your wholehearted trust, not your compassionate devotion, not your undying love. 

especially not to the driving force that is shauna shipman. 

“what do you want?” 

it is a pretty open question that has a trillion answers—but lottie only wants one. it’s difficult to put aside your bitterness regarding her failure to balance you and the wilderness, but it’s so easy to give into her touch, and boring doe eyes that have you under an unbreakable spell. 

she’s sucking you in, and despite it all, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

you pause, “…you.”

for a second, her expression stills, then comes the warm inviting smile that you had fallen for years ago. her hand is still gentle under your chin, thumb on your jaw when she closes the gap between you two, lips locking with yours; and locking your answer in the process.

lottie is right. it will always be her. yet, she challenges you, whispering against your mouth, “prove it.”

you pull away, shortly examining lottie; the subtle energy shift that you’re familiar with. her needs. 

“c’mon, show me,” her voice is soft, fingers hooking through the loops of your shorts, teasingly tugging you closer. you gulp, a thin layer of sweat already painting her sweet skin and making your appetite grow; you can’t resist her.

she huffs when you shove her on the blanket, a satisfied look on her pretty face and canines showing. she props herself on her elbows, steadying herself for the sudden—and frenzied—kiss you’re immediately giving her, holding her head in place while mindlessly grinding into her lap. 

“come on,” her words are lowly muffled against your lips, but the desperation is really fucking loud. and maybe if you weren’t so lottie-deprived, you’d drag this out and make her whine for it. maybe. 

instead, your hand is already snaking its way past the waistband of her shorts, sinking into her underwear and feeling how wet it is. she is. lottie is eager and anticipating, bucking her hips up with a lazy toothy smile, breathing heavily before you’ve even begun. 

again, she repeats herself, gutturally speaking through her teeth, “come on.”

her hands are wrapped around your arm, moving with you when you palm her cunt, her heavy slick making it easy to rub in lazy circles, lottie losing her breath completely at the feeling. 

she refuses to break eye contact, clit puffy and pulsating each time your wrist moves in a specific motion that you’re repeating again and again—her entrance clenching around the mere idea of your fingers entering her. 

she’s about to say the two words again when you lean forward and shut her up with another hazy and messy kiss—two fingers gradually entering her simultaneously—causing her teeth to clamp down on your bottom lip hard.

you groan in pleasure, ignoring the way she had broke your skin and the blood that raced to the area.

meanwhile, she’s relishing it. it’s her turn, after all.

your digits sink into her deeper, lottie moaning and moving her mouth with yours, tasting the last fruit on your tongue clashing with the dark red iron. you taste fucking amazing. she’s willing to risk death to suffocation rather than ever parting your lips. 

you missed this, her, being hungry for you—not for something else. you make her cry when you lean your head back, lottie trying to chase you frantically. 

“gotta promise me,” you rush out, hand stalled on her chest and pausing her from eating your face, “that you want me too—that you want me more than…”

you trail off because it doesn’t need to be spoken out loud. she understood you clearly. you notice by how the blood momentarily drains from her face, but she recovers fast when your fingers slowly retreat. her grip on your arm hardens. 

she nods, willing to accept the consequences of her promise, “i do.”

lottie yelps right after she gives you her answer, your fingers thrusting back inside of her, deeper than she could ever imagine. your other hand is around her throat—your injured finger placed right on a little birthmark you kissed during sleepless nights. 

with caution, you apply a light pressure that heightens the sensitivity between her thighs, the sun shining down and making her hotter than you currently are with your touch. everything feels perfect. 

she thinks she may just be transcending to another dimension, heaven, and she begins to cry your name like a prayer, eyes now falling shut, rolling in the back of her head.

she drops her arms, palms flat and nails digging into the blanket, to the dirt beneath it.

her body shakes, your pace relentless. there’s a soft breeze, that becomes something more, heavy and causes the trees around you to sway. the leaves rustle loudly, and lottie lets out an animalistic moan, almost a shout, and a cry to the wilderness surrounding you.

in her own way, she does transcend. you bring her to a high, that nothing, or no one, could ever replicate and replace.

she’s at peace with that.

after another hour of laying with lottie, you return to camp, hand in hand, straight to your tent; shauna watching.

[roanofarcc]

JEALOUSLY, JEALOUSLY!

pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader ~ requested

summary:  after a falling out with lottie in middle school, you two had steered clear of each other until your love for soccer forces you two to rekindle your long-lost friendship. but when the same flame of unknown jealousy is reignited, you realize that your falling out had been a simple miscommunication. 

warnings:  miscommunication trope (sort of). jealous!lottie & jealous!reader. slight angst with lots of comfort. happy ending! pre-crash

word count. 2.6k || masterlist

The day you stopped talking to Lottie, it rained. 

Dark gray clouds lingered in the distance as you hopped off the bus and began skipping into school without the incoming weather having much effect on your mood. Middle school had its ups and downs, but you enjoyed getting to spend most of your time with your best friend. 

You and Lottie had been connected at the hip since sixth grade started. Rarely were one of you seen without the other. There was only one class period in which you two didn’t share, but after that, you met up at the cafeteria entrance before eating lunch together. 

One class period didn’t seem like much, it was less than an hour of the day. But it was enough for Lottie to befriend Robin, a boy in your grade. He was nice but nothing extraordinary, you thought. 

You didn’t have a problem with Lottie having other friends, especially when they had met in a class you two weren’t even together in. What bothered you was how close the two had gotten over the course of the school year. 

You didn’t understand why seeing them laughing together in the halls or sharing homework answers before school started got under your skin. Lottie a couple of other friends, as did you. None of them were as close as the two of you were to each other, though. But you tried to swallow down a new, festering feeling of jealousy that bubbled up in your throat like bile each time you spotted them smiling or lightly touching the other’s shoulders when doubled over in laughter. 

When the rain broke that day, so did you. 

You tapped your foot against the floor as you watched your lunch hour tick by on your watch. Lottie was never late, not by more than five minutes. She hadn’t looked sick or mentioned having to leave early for a doctor’s appointment that day. 

For a moment, you started to worry. Maybe something had happened and she needed you. 

However, that worry was soon squashed under the toe of Lottie’s boots when you spotted her at her locker, sharing a quick kiss with Robin in the empty hall. 

Best friends were supposed to be happy for each other when crushes were returned and relationships were surefire. With your other friends, you had excitedly listened to the stories of their first kisses and dates. Never did their words or actions leave you with a belly tied in a knot and that horrible feeling stuck in your throat when you were on the verge of crying. So why did watching Lottie kiss a boy make you feel betrayed? You didn’t know. 

It made you sick and it made you angry. Oh, and you had let Lottie know. 

You and Lottie had never fought, but that day you did. Insults were thrown, spiraling into an argument that left you both storming off in steaming anger. 

When you exited the bus at your stop, raindrops rolled down your nose and your shoes turned soggy from the puddles on the street. 

Lottie didn’t call that night so you two could work on your history homework together. You didn’t meet her at her locker to walk to first period the following day. She moved seats in English and you switched seats in science. The gap grew further, a puddle between you turning into a river, then a pond, and eventually an ocean. You roamed the same halls, listened to the same lectures, but the distance grew too great that neither one of you wanted to cross it. 

So neither one did, and it became the new normal. Your best friend became a stranger. 

You thought it’d stay that way. Once high school started, you hardly saw Lottie anymore. Sometimes you’d forget how close the two of you had been, but something would remind you how things had been, and a dull ache spread through your chest. A photograph of you two that had fallen behind your dresser that you found while cleaning, Lottie’s laugh echoing down the hallway, even something as simple as a charm bracelet she once complimented sent you back to middle school, before your fight and your stupid feelings. 

Why couldn’t you just be happy for Lottie? Why couldn’t she have called you on your birthday and pretend like nothing ever happened? Why couldn’t you have understood your feelings stemmed from jealousy that made you green in the face? Maybe if you had figured out sooner that you liked girls, that you liked Lottie as more than a friend, you could have stopped the fallout. 

Instead, you believed you’d go the rest of your life without Lottie, existing parallel of each other, always within reach but still miles away. 

But that changed at soccer tryouts. 

The first thing you spotted walking out onto the field was Lottie. She had her hair fixed in pigtails and workout clothes on. A pair of cleats hung over her shoulder, their laces tied together. 

You froze on the sideline, hands already sweaty despite the cool breeze in the air. Before you could turn away, she caught you staring. Her switch of attention was noticed by the girl she had just been speaking to Laura Lee. The blonde smiled at you and excitedly waved you over. You don’t know what exactly possessed you to walk towards them, whether it was Laura Lee’s bright smile or the chance to be close to Lottie again after so long. Whatever it was, you approached the two girls with a tense smile and a small wave. 

“I didn’t know you were trying out too!” Laura Lee said excitedly. 

Your heartbeat quickened and your shoulders were probably noticeably tensed. “Yeah. I thought I’d give it a shot.” 

Laura Lee nudged Lottie’s arm. “Us too! I was just telling Lottie here that I heard they like to keep a larger JV team in case any of the girls on varsity get hurt. Apparently, it happens a lot; they need a couple of alternates.” 

“Good to know,” you said, eyes drifting from Laura Lee to Lottie, only to see her already staring at you with an unreadable expression. 

“Oh! Van’s here. I’ll be right back!” Laura Lee rushed off to meet with an excited redhead who had just walked out of the school, leaving you and Lottie alone. 

You rocked back on your heels, feeling awkward in the tense air that you were left in. 

Lottie cleared her throat. “Uh, are you ready for tryouts?” she asked, making small talk. 

“Yeah, I think so. Not trying to get my hope up too high, though,” you said, taking a break from Lottie’s pretty eyes to gaze around all of the girls gathered on the field. 

“You’ll do great.” Lottie’s voice was filled with a sincerity that caught you off guard. Your lips smiled as a reflex, some of the tension unwinding. 

Soccer then became your gateway back into the life of Lottie Matthews. What began as simple, polite small talk on try-out day grew into something that bordered on friendship after you both made the team and had to spend three days a week after school together. As the team bonded, so did the two of you. It was as if your falling out was old history forgotten in the weeds of middle school and renewed in the fever of high school. You weren’t back exactly where you had been a couple of years ago, but you were friends and that was more than you thought you’d ever be with Lottie again. 

However, with friendship came the stupid feeling that had bloomed in your chest before you understood what it meant. When Lottie smiled at you, you had to fight against the heat in your cheeks or when she looped her arm with yours, you had to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. The last thing you wanted was to ruin what you guys had again. You finally had Lottie back in your life, admitting your crush would only break you two again. 

So, you ignored it the best you could and wished for the feeling to go away. 

That was made a bit easier when you started to befriend more girls on the team. 

“Another great game, if I do say so myself,” Mari said, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you two started to walk back to the locker room. 

You laughed, poking her side. “You’re lucky you’re quick on your feet. Tai looked ready to kick your shins in when you almost missed her pass, twice.” 

Mari rolled her eyes. “I’m a showman! I want the audience to be entertained, spice things up a little.” 

Bushing past her Tai shot Mari a sharp look. “They’d be entertained if you just played the fucking game.” 

“Hey,” Van jumped into the conversation, patting Tai on the shoulder. “Relax. We won! We’re probably the best team, like, ever.” 

Van had a knack for making Tai smile, even when she was pissed off, which the team was grateful for. Even though Tai wasn’t the team captain, she held a certain authority on the field that they respected, but she could be a little too intense sometimes. 

The two went ahead into the locker room, but Mari pulled you to a stop at the water fountain, needing to fill up her water bottle. 

You leaned against the cool, painted cinder block wall as the game’s adrenaline slowly left your bones. 

“Whatcha doing tonight?” Mari asked, paying more attention to you than her water bottle. 

You shrugged. “Not sure yet. Why?” 

“Well, I heard Mark’s Dinner is giving out free milkshakes tonight if you order a meal. Wanna go?”

A milkshake sounded good, you had to admit. You didn’t often hang out with Mari outside of school and soccer, but you enjoyed her company. Not to mention she was funny and pretty, a double win in your book. She was easy on the eyes and easy to talk to; she enjoyed gossiping about everything that breathed in New Jersey, which was endlessly entertaining. 

“We can even split one. Two straws and everything like we’re in Grease or some shit,” Mari added, a playful smile on her lips and a light dusting of pink across her cheeks. 

You opened your mouth to agree, but a hand curled around your shoulder, stopping you. 

“Sorry, we have plans tonight, remember?” Lottie’s voice sounded from behind you. She had taken her hair down, leaving it in knotty curls from the game, and there was a smear of dirt across her cheek from a fall she had taken after getting the ball stolen. 

You were confused; you didn’t remember making any plans with Lottie, but it was possible it had slipped your mind. 

Mari furrowed her brows. “Oh, uh, okay. Whatever. Maybe another time then?” 

You nodded and she screwed the cap back onto her water bottle before slipping into the locker room. You turned to face Lottie as she dropped her hand on your shoulder. “We made plans?” 

She looked somewhat sheepish, glancing down at her feet. “Sort of.” You tilted your head in question and she sighed. “Fine, no. We didn’t but I…I don’t know. Do you really want to hang out with Mari?” 

“Mari’s cool,” you said, a bit defensively. 

Lottie rolled her eyes. “Cool? She was totally flirting with you!” You were surprised by the rise of Lottie’s voice and the flustered look on her face. 

“Mari? No way.” You scoffed. “I don’t think she’s into girls.” 

“She just offered to split a milkshake.” 

“Right, she may as well have proposed,” you joked dryly. “Seriously, Lot. What does it even matter?” 

“It matters!” She pressed her lips into a thin line, draining the color from them for a prolonged moment before she sighed, tossing her head back. “I mean, do you…like Mari?” 

Mari was cool and she was pretty, but like wasn’t exactly what you would describe it as. Maybe if you split a milkshake and learned that she too liked girls, maybe you could. But if you were being honest with yourself, it was difficult not to compare every girl you thought about forcing yourself to have a crush on just to get over Lottie, to Lottie herself. It was just so difficult. Lottie was your best friend, even when you spent years apart and not talking, a part of you kept her in your heart. Now that you two were cool again, that crush came back without taking pity on you. 

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug. “Would it matter if I did?” 

Lottie looked at you like you had grown three heads. “Of course it would!” She stepped closer, lips downturned in a frown. 

“Why?” 

She sputtered for a response, stumbling over words in a way you’d never seen you do before. It confused you. Finally, she huffed out a breath and shook her head. “Maybe because I want to get a milkshake with you, like we’re in Grease or some shit,” she said, repeating the very words Mari had minutes ago, in which Lottie had accused of being flirtatious. 

You stilled, wondering if you had heard her right. “What are you saying?” 

“Not being friends with you sucked,” Lottie started. “I hated it. I hated that you didn’t even tell me why you were so pissed at me. It was like one second we were best friends and the next, you were accusing me of not wanting to be your friend anyone. But that wasn’t true.” 

Since the return of your friendship, you hadn’t spoken about your fall out in the middle; the stupid fight spawned by your jealousy that you had such a hard time admitting to. 

“I…Well, okay. Maybe it was true a little bit,” Lottie sighed. 

Your heart squeezed uncomfortably inside your chest like someone had sunk their fingers into it. “You didn’t want to be my friend?” 

“No, I did. I wanted to be your friend but I think I wanted more, maybe. But that was really confusing and scary. I didn’t know what that meant so I tried to pretend like it didn’t mean anything. Then I started talking to Robin. He reminded me of you. Just, you know, if you were a boy. So I wasn’t scared to…to kiss him. Or to like him. But the more I thought about it the more I realized I was just trying to replace you, I guess. But as much as he was like you, he wasn’t you.” 

You felt dizzy. The world around you was spinning so quickly you could hardly understand everything Lottie was saying, and she wasn’t even done. 

Lottie covered her face with her hands like she was embarrassed or fractured, maybe both. “You were mad at me and I was too stubborn to make you tell me why, exactly. Even though I missed you like crazy. I only kept dating Robin because it felt like you were still there with me. It was lame, I know but I didn’t know what else to do, or how to deal with it, okay?” 

“I wasn’t really mad at you,” you rushed out before your brain would let you chicken out of spilling your guts. Lottie lowered her hands to her sides, staring at you with her big, sad, brown eyes. “I-I was jealous. Suddenly Robin had all of your attention, and I realized…” You trailed off, struggling to put your words together. 

Taking a step forward, Lottie closed some of the distance between the two of you. “You realized what?” 

You couldn’t look her in the eyes as you said, “That I wanted to be Robin.” 

Silence filled the gap between you two. An understanding, an apology, everything occurring all at once. You finally met her gaze again, only to Lottie smiling at you. You couldn’t help but smile back, a laugh following the waterfall of confessions. 

“Shit,” Lottie laughed. “This whole time we were just….” 

“Idiots,” you said, finishing her sentence. 

“I guess there’s really only one thing to do now, huh?” 

You beamed, giddiness replacing the ache in your chest. “Milkshakes?” 

“Milkshakes.”

[mvlders222]

PLS PLS PLS MORE LOTTIE FICS 🙏 (I will literally take anything lol)

a/n ; this new season has given me lottie resurgence oh lawd... i feel like some of my fics are sort of the same but i can't get enough of it. maybe i'm incapable of writing angst... i like love too much...

𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

pairing ; lottie matthews x fem!reader

wordcount ; 1.5k

summary ; Lottie was the best friend you could ever ask for, but she wished it wasn't so. You loved her, of course, and so did she. But those weren't her true intentions...

warnings ; nothing, just fluff!

You loved Lottie and considered her your best friend. While you were her best friend, she wanted to be something more.

It felt like you’d known Lottie for an eternity, never really remembering how to live before her. You two were inseparable, and that didn’t go unnoticed by the others. You weren’t on the team, but you might as well be since you’re around so much. You were like their own personal cheerleader as long as Lottie was on the field.

Which was where you were now, situated on the bleachers with your homework in your lap. You would look up now and then to watch her on the field, effortlessly gliding along the freshly cut grass. You were waiting for practice to get out since Lottie was taking you home. You did this every day. Lottie drove you home every single day. Of course, you’d only get home after your time at Lottie’s house had expired.

No wonder why the others thought you were dating.

From the field, Lottie was stopped, looking out at you. She smiled when she saw you look up at her, showing her a small wave and a big smile. She reciprocated, showing her hand in acknowledgment.

“Have you told her yet?” Van saw this exchange and appeared beside her, looking between you and Lottie. Lottie reluctantly pulled her gaze away from you, now looking at her teammate.

“Told her what?” Lottie responded, only sparing the girl a glance before returning her attention to you.

“That you like her,” Van said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I think she already knows,” Natalie piped up, overhearing the exchange, once thought to be private. “Considering you can describe in perfect detail how the shape of her face changes whenever she smiles.”

“What? No, I don’t–” That was true. Lottie thought she hid it so well. “I don’t like her,” she confirmed.

“Nat’s right, though, you’re not exactly good at being discreet,” Van agreed with the smaller girl, disregarding Lottie’s words completely. She gave her a concerned look, seeing the weight of her feelings completely take over her mind. “Look, just tell her how you feel, and then you’ll know for sure.”

“Tell who what?” Taissa had now walked over, interested in the contrast from soccer.  Her eyes landed on Lottie, now suddenly getting the full story. “Oh, yeah, you gotta tell her.”

“Seriously, does everyone know?” Lottie stood there in disbelief from her teammates.

“Everyone except you it seems,” Natalie fired back. “Just do everyone a favor, and tell her.”

“Okay! Damn,” Lottie’s eyes widened, suddenly becoming defensive. “I’ll do it.”

The three others there let out a combination of sighs and small “finally”s, much to Lottie's annoyance. Coach Ben sounded the whistle, calling the team in for final notes and to conclude their practice. You knew you had about fifteen to twenty minutes before she’d be out of the locker rooms from changing to hang out with her. You thought that because of this routine, you still had more time to complete your homework.

Lottie had walked out of the locker room, duffle bag over her shoulder and letterman jacket folded in her arms. She walked out after five minutes. You had no idea what was different, or whether she had even showered or not. You tried not to think about that too often.

Just about five minutes earlier, Lottie had been pressured by just about her whole team to hurry up and get back out there. Every time she attempted to converse with anyone in her vicinity, they’d either ignore her or just mention you. At the very first mention of your name, she quickly shut up. But after constant reminders from her team, she managed to get out of there as quickly as possible. Of course, only to be met with you, so it wasn’t a big difference.

She watched you from the field, you still situated at the near top of the bleachers. You were so consumed with your work that if the kid you were babysitting had a slip and fall, you probably wouldn’t notice their screams until a whole five minutes later when a sudden headache would come over you.

“Hey!” Lottie called out to you, seeing your brow furrowed from the ground. You were so cute when you were focused on being smart. You were even cuter when all your attention was on her. You looked up and your eyes fell on Lottie, her expression unreadable from afar. “You comin’?”

It quickly processed in your mind what she had said, still slightly confused by her sudden emergence from her sport. “Uh, yeah, hold on!” You shouted back, quickly closing the open binder in your lap, and shoving away any other accessories into your bag. You slugged it over your shoulder and quickly made your way down the steps. When you met her at the bottom, you quickly took her right side and continued to walk to the back parking lot where her car was parked.

“So, you were out earlier than usual,” you started in an attempt to make conversation. She had been quiet so far, maybe she was hyper-focused on getting home or simply away from school.

“Yeah, it was just a scrimmage. Only a couple of games today,” she responded, a little hesitant, of course.

“That’s not what I mean,” you confirm. You tilt your head in an attempt to make eye contact with her, trying to get her attention since she won’t look at you herself. “And you’re acting weird now. Did something happen?”

“No, I, uh…” Lottie stopped in her tracks and begrudgingly looked at you. You stopped a step ahead of her, turning back to look at her. You were gorgeous. Even during the smallest moments like this. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

You both stood in your places, neither of you bothering to move toward each other. You furrowed your brows, becoming concerned at her words. “Is there anything I can do? I hate to see you like this.” You always knew what to say, and at the moment, Lottie hated that.

“No!” She answered, maybe a little too quickly. “Um, no… you wouldn’t understand.” But, oh, how she wished you would. She continued walking to her car, deciding to move without you.

“That’s rude,” you mumble. You slightly scowl as she brushes past you, seemingly ignoring you. Despite this, you follow her a couple of feet behind. She doesn’t slow down. In fact, it looks like she’s trying to leave without you. “Hey!”

You pick up the pace, taking a slight jog to reach her before she can even open the door to the driver’s seat of her car. She still won’t turn around or respond to your calls. You put a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to face you. “What is going on with y–”

But before your eyes could be on hers, her lips were on yours. It only took a moment before you could melt under her care. Her hands grabbed at your arms before moving down to your waist, and then finally resting on your hips. You couldn’t decide on her shoulders or her face or her-

“Relax, okay?” Lottie mumbles, her lips barely breaking away from your own. God, that made you weak. You finally decided to hold her face in your hands, delicately to not break the moment you two currently share.

Lottie clearly didn’t have the same concern, turning you too around so your back was to her car. As if she wasn’t close enough already, she pushed you further against the car door, squeezing at your hips that were flush against hers.

The two of you pull away for air, Lottie choosing to rest her forehead against yours. She giggled looking at your now smiley expression, contrary to the one you had just moments before. “I’m glad you feel the same way,” you whisper, as if anyone else would hear.

Before she could respond, however, the sounds of cheering and shouts reach your ears from across the lot. You both turn to look at the source, not daring to pull away from your current positions. The culprits are Van, of course, along with Tai. You smile at the other two, finally putting the pieces together.

“Go home!” Lottie shouts at the other two, playful but still a bit embarrassed. She looked at you, “I’m sorry about them, really, I–”

“I’m guessing they knew the whole time?” You interrupt her, because, no offense, but just a moment ago she was ignoring you to your face.

Lottie blushed, even more than she had been before, giving you a sheepish smile, “Yeah, sort of. I didn’t even have to tell them.” “I guess, it takes two.” You shrug, “We weren’t exactly discreet.”

[cherrynailsgrl]

Nature and I were one.

words: 1,6k

Charlotte Matthews x Fem!Reader

type: fluffy & angst. You and Lottie were in situation ship and now you met again after two months, what could go wrong with an ex cult leader? I will be accepting requests <3

ty @lotties-ashwagandha for the beginning idea!!

Sorry if I have some errors, english it’s not my first language. Enjoy your reading. <3

You were waiting impatiently at the traffic light, a silly song playing on the radio while your fingers lightly tapped the steering wheel.

Everything was fine. You were thinking about getting home to catch up on some of the assignments for the advertising company where you worked; and the workload had doubled since they now had to come up with something more impressive than what artificial intelligence could produce.

However, your thoughts scattered when you saw her—her fur coat, stepping out of the bank. Charlotte Matthews. You thought she was either in the psychiatric facility or leading her heliotropic cult like she had been since you met her.

But no, there she was. You hadn’t ended on bad terms with her; it had been a few months of good sex, and you had just stopped seeing each other because the distance from the city to her wellness center was too far. You’d had really good sex that night two months ago when you both said, “Well, I guess it’ll be a while until I see you again, if I ever do.” You got up shaking, and that feeling lingered for a few days.

You loved her in secret. You would have been in a relationship with her. But God, she was so far away.

You saw her step toward the curb, trying to catch a cab. When the light turned green, you drove up to her as quickly as possible and stopped beside her. You rolled down the window and leaned toward that side of the car. “Need a ride?” you asked, lowering your sunglasses to see her.

“Y/N?” she asked. She licked her lips, hesitated a moment, and then got in. Her perfume filled the car, and she kissed your cheek. “You look good,” she said as she buckled her seatbelt.

“You too.” You started driving. “Do you have plans?”

“I think I’ve got the afternoon off.” She rested her head on the cushion, watching how your hair had grown over the past two months, tracing your features, like she always did.

“Do you want to come home and… talk?”

“Can we order Chinese food?” she asked first.

“We can,” you said, glancing at her at a red light. “And you’re not paying,” you added before she could say it.

On the way, you talked about the psychiatric hospital—though she didn’t tell you much. They couldn’t lock her up because of her religion, and her meds kept her stable. Everything was fine. She told you about the death of one of her friends, which was somehow one of the reasons she lost her center.

When you got to your apartment, she took off her coat and helped you with your work—or rather, she made you tea and played with your hair while you worked and chatted. You told her you’d gotten a better position at work, that you were thinking of adopting a cat, and about some of the problems you were having with your friends.

“Can you order the Chinese food and let me cook myself some veggie noodles? Please.” She gave you those big brown eyes you could never say no to; though you didn’t understand—Why did she want you to order Chinese if she wasn’t going to eat it with you?

Still, you didn’t deny her request. You drank some wine while you waited for your food and helped her cook her own.

The odd part came when the doorbell rang—she was the one who went to the door with your money. She took an envelope from the pocket of her coat that you didn’t get to read. You heard her close the door a moment later and saw her sit on the couch beside you, now carrying a new kind of tension.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, setting her hot dish on the coffee table. She placed the cardboard bag there too. She didn’t look at you for a moment, adjusting herself beside you, sideways. “Lottie,” you called again, softly now, a bit worried by the look in her eyes. You tilted your head to get a better view of her.

“Can I stay the night?” she finally asked. She looked at you—and she looked so… so lost. Lottie was never lost. She was always the guide.

“Lottie,” you murmured, not to say no—her nickname slipped from your lips with… was pity? You just knew she wasn’t telling you everything, and you wanted to help.

“I’m sorry, that was stupid,” she said quickly, standing up. “I should go.” When she turned, you took her hand and gently pulled her back to you.

“Stay.” It was a plea.

You intertwined your fingers with hers. “Talk to me.” You gently caressed the back of her hand.

She took a breath. “I lost everything. And I ruined so many lives thinking I was helping people.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I lost my home, I lost the Wellness Center, my friends think I’m insane, I’ve never… never felt so lost.”

Her voice broke, but she didn’t look at you, trying not to cry. She sobbed, and you moved closer, letting her speak while your free hand gently tucked her dark hair behind her ear.

“I thought I was helping people, truly healing them. Lisa was like a daughter to me, you know? And now she’s back on cigarettes, she has that same look in her eyes from when I first met her. I couldn’t fix anything. I didn’t help anyone. If I’d done better, I wouldn’t be like this. It’s my fault.” The delivery girl…

You pulled her into a hug. She finally broke, crying into your neck, a silent scream while you whispered, “Shh, it’s okay,” into her ear. You held her as long as she cried, comforting her, reassuring her that she did the best she could, that she had helped a lot of people, and if they relapsed, it wasn’t really her fault. That things would get better.

When she finally pulled away from your neck, you wiped her tears with your thumbs and kissed her face, feeling her slowly relax. The food went cold, but that didn’t matter—not really.

“Do you want to go to bed?” It was your turn to comfort her. She always helped you when something happened—fights with your parents, with your friends, always offering useful advice. She was older than you, and if your problems were like the ones she’d once had, her advice was more precise.

“Yes, please.” You took her hand and led her to your room. She hadn’t seen your apartment until that day. The walls were white, a bunch of photos stuck on them with your friends, a TV, two shelves of books, a decent closet, and some plants.

“I know it’s not much,” you said, a little embarrassed, used to her home, as you turned on a small lamp. “But it’s something,” you added.

She shook her head and waved a hand, dismissing your words. “It’s perfect.” She walked over to you and, to your surprise, kissed you—softly, sweetly, slowly.

But what surprised you even more was when you felt her guide your hands to the straps of her dress. You gently pulled away. “Lottie,” you said, confused by her action since she didn’t look like she wanted to have sex.

“What?”

“You don’t have to do this to stay the night.” You clarified, and she let out a relieved sigh.

“Really?” she asked, just to be sure.

“Really.” You lifted the straps back up, let your hands slide from her arms to her cheeks, and kissed her slowly, with no rush—just one slow kiss, and you pulled away gently.

“Thank you,” she whispered warmly. You lent her some pajamas and sat with her in bed after your nighttime routine. You sat behind her, gently brushing her hair, braiding it. You remembered how she used to get out of bed just so you’d do that.

“All done.” She thanked you and crawled into bed beside you. You talked about all the good things she’d done while cuddling her like she used to do for you, and suddenly she confessed:

“I think sometimes I miss the woods.” She had told you about that before—the first time she did was when you asked why she’d chosen to live in nature so… literally. How she’d bundle up so much to keep the cold from getting to her bones.

“Why?” you asked, lying close, your breaths brushing against each other.

“I think I was never as… free again. I didn’t have to take pills. No one called me crazy. Nature and I were one. I… I think I belong to that. I don’t know, I miss it. No one judged us, it was 1998, homophobia was… but there, in the woods, no one judged us. We could be ourselves. I could be myself. Sometimes I just want to go back.” Lottie fell silent, then chuckled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You just look so beautiful talking about something you truly love, like nature. Your eyes shine so much.” Charlotte often told you the terrible parts (not the terrible things they did), but mostly she also said things like this.

“Shut up, brat.” But you didn’t get to answer—she kissed you gently, and when she pulled back, you said something else cheesy and kissed her again. “Oh, you want to do this—kissing before sleep like we were teenagers?” And it felt so good to just do that. So soft.

“Yes. And I’m not far off from being a teenager again.” You kissed her while you cuddled her. It was simply soft. You weren’t looking for anything more than that—not in this moment, not tonight. Just kisses.

“Would you come with me?” she asked after a while, in your ear, as she hugged you to fall asleep.

“To the woods? Lottie, I’m afraid of bears,” you murmured just before dozing off. It wasn’t a 100% answer. You weren’t taking it seriously.

“I’ll have to kidnap you,” she whispered, kissed your head, and rested hers on top of yours, wrapping her whole body around you. “I’m not letting you go. Not again.”

[shipmanl0ver]

Hii could you write a Lottie x fem reader where they’re on the team and the reader opens up to them about they’re boyfriend being maybe abusive or manipulative to them and Lottie helps them platonically but maybe turns romantic tysm !

Safety

��———-

Wow first request..uhh I hope this is okay!!

Pairing: Lottie Matthews x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Emotional manipulation and implied abuse (non-graphic), angst, emotional comfort, soft<3

————-

It started with a bruise. A small one on your wrist, nothing anyone else would notice. But Lottie did.

She always noticed things she wasn’t supposed to.

You were in the locker room, trying to change quickly after practice, keeping your sleeves tugged down a little too long, too deliberately. The bruise had been from last night, he’d grabbed you a little too hard when you said you didn’t want to go out. He said he was sorry. He always said he was sorry.

"Hey," Lottie’s voice cut gently through your thoughts. "You okay?"

Your eyes flicked to her. She was sitting across from you, tying her cleats slowly like she wasn’t really paying attention. But her eyes told a different story.

"Yeah," you said, too quickly. Too fake.

Lottie didn’t push. Not right away. She just nodded, went back to her laces, and said, “You played great today. Got past Tai twice.”

You smiled, grateful for the change of subject. But it didn’t last.

Later that week, when practice ran late and you were one of the last ones in the locker room, she waited for you outside.

“Want a ride home?”

You hesitated. Your boyfriend was supposed to pick you up, but he was late, again. You checked your phone. No text. No missed call.

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Thanks.”

The car ride was quiet at first, but comfortable. Lottie didn’t fill the silence with forced chatter. She just drove, windows cracked, soft music playing low.

But then she asked, “Is he good to you?”

Your stomach dropped. “What?”

“Your boyfriend,” she said. “You don’t have to answer. Just… I’ve seen the way you shrink around him sometimes. Like you’re scared to say the wrong thing.”

You didn’t answer. The silence felt like a confession.

Lottie glanced at you briefly, then back at the road. “You don’t deserve that. You know that, right?”

Tears pricked at your eyes. You looked out the window, swallowing hard. “He wasn’t always like this.”

“I believe you.”

You looked over at her. She wasn’t judging you. There was no pity in her eyes, just understanding. Warmth. A steady sort of calm.

“I don’t even know if it’s… like, abusive,” you whispered. “Maybe I’m just dramatic. Maybe I just make him angry, and that’s-”

“It’s not your fault,” she cut in, firmly but gently. “Even if it’s not bruises. If he makes you feel small, scared, like you can’t breathe? That’s not love.”

Your voice cracked. “I feel crazy all the time.”

“You’re not crazy,” she said. “He just wants you to think you are.”

That night, you cried in her car. She didn’t try to fix it. She just stayed with you. Hand on your back. Warm and quiet and steady.

It became a habit, riding home with Lottie. Some days you didn’t talk about him at all. Other days, you told her more. How he isolated you from your friends. How he guilted you for being busy with the team. How he made you feel like you owed him everything.

Every time, she listened.

“I think about breaking up with him,” you admitted once. “But I’m scared.”

“That’s okay,” Lottie said. “You don’t have to be ready right now. I’ll be here, either way.”

Something in your chest cracked open. You didn’t realize how much you needed someone to say that. No pressure. No judgment. Just… someone staying.

The shift was slow. Barely noticeable. The way she started brushing your shoulder with hers when you sat on the bleachers together. The way she always made sure you had a ride before you even asked.

The way your heart jumped a little when she smiled.

One night, after a long, cold practice, she handed you her hoodie without a word. You pulled it on. It smelled like her, lavender and something softer, something you couldn’t name.

She glanced at you. “You look good in it.”

You laughed softly, surprised. “Are you flirting with me?”

She shrugged, a hint of a smile playing at her lips. “Would it be okay if I was?”

Your breath caught. The idea felt dangerous. Not because of her, but because of how safe it felt.

“I don’t know,” you said honestly. “I’m still figuring things out.”

“I get it,” she said. “I’m not asking for anything. Just… don’t think you have to be alone while you do.”

You reached for her hand without thinking. She laced her fingers with yours.

It felt like the first true thing in a long time.

You left him a week later. It was messy and scary and awful, but you did it. And when it was over, the first place you went was Lottie’s.

She didn’t say “I told you so.” She didn’t try to fix you. She just opened the door, pulled you into a hug, and whispered, “You’re safe now.”

And somehow, you believed her.

[tiredandsapphic]

LETDOWN

pairing ꩜ adult!lottie matthews x fem!reader headcanons summary ꩜ lottie whose cursed and blessed with loving you, whose time is running out (totally inspired by van) an ꩜ angst! i listened to too much radiohead writing this

꩜ when you show up to the commune with the others, helping find nat, lottie immediately knows. you don’t look sick—but that’s the worst part. you look better than you used to, stronger.

꩜ eventually you break, probably in some heated argument between you and lottie. you only break when she speaks so shakily, the poor girl from years ago resurfacing— “you don’t get to do that, you don’t get to come here and leave again.”

꩜ it’s bitter, but emotional fights aren’t uncommon. it’s old muscle memory, two broken girls who never learned to speak without bleeding. lottie’s words are always your weakness, “you don’t get to martyr yourself now, not with me. not again.” or when you insist you came to say goodbye—“don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare say goodbye to me.”

꩜ lottie tries so so hard to be strong, for you. she doesn’t cry in front of you, she just assures you. but the minute shes alone? she crumbles. she slips out of bed when you’re fast asleep, wraps a blanket around herself and walks to the garden barefoot. she crouches down in the dirt and weeps. silent. grieving. mouth pressed into her sleeve keep any sounds from reaching you.

꩜ some nights you find her, her absence too heavy in bed. you’ll find her outside praying to the moon, the stars, whatever will listen. you always hold her, cry with her. “i don’t want to be strong. i want to be selfish. i want to beg you to stay.” she will admit, and you’ll just assure her you’re here, right now, in that moment. you have to pretend her emotions don’t hurt more than your actual illness.

꩜ you’re annoyingly independent. most days you bring her tea, you make her food, you help around the commune without her help. she tries to sit you down, but you insist she lets you live rather than just survive.

꩜ she loves to take control—especially when you’re too tired or weak do anything but whimper. you're stretched out on the bed when she kisses lower and lower. her words are soft against your skin “let me take care of you,” and god, she makes you come so gently. slowly. like shes drawing the pain out of you with every pass of her tongue, every roll of her fingers.

꩜ you, cold? all the time. it could be sweltering out and you’re a human burrito in bed. layers of stolen hoodies and comfy blankets. lottie loves it. she’ll happily pull you into her lap. you’ll press your freezing feet or fingers against her and laugh when she squeals.

꩜ you ramble about a bucket list at random times. half of it is genuine the other half pretty much nonsense. she doesn’t tell you but she keeps a little journal of your ramblings. some however aren’t as light hearted— “i want to live long enough to see you get laugh lines.”

꩜ when things start getting worse, you start getting worse, lottie holds you tighter and closer at night. she kisses you more, dances barefoot in the garden with you more, and perhaps prays to it a little more. she insists youre not getting weaker, youre just softening. like dusk.

꩜ the night it happens, shes holding you in the garden, under the stars, your favourite place. it’s quiet. she knows. you know. lottie doesn’t scream, she just holds you tighter, rocks you in her arms and kisses your hair until you’re gone, entirely.

꩜ when you’re gone, she breaks. she lets herself fall apart, knowing she promised you that she'd build something new with what’s left. she knows you're still with her, physical absence and all. she even does some of the things left on your silly bucket list she wrote down.

꩜ perhaps some of your past teammates visit her, support her. tai just looks at her like shes looking into mirror, a soft understanding.

꩜ she spends a lot of time praying to you now, as if you're a goddess or deity. something holy and lost. she dreams of you, constantly, like a soft haunting.

꩜ your music plays in her home, anything that reminds her of you. something physical to keep you tethered. she lets ‘landslide’ by fleetwood mac echo like a prayer.

[alottiegoingon]

the last night

shauna shipman x fem!reader

summary: shauna comes back after 19 months in the wilderness

warnings: shauna and r had a situationship, very suggestive content but nothing explicit, wilderness time, mentions of mental illness (depression, anxiety), r cheating on her actual gf, manipulative shauna (?), angst but happy ending, not proofread

"i can't believe you're leaving me," you complain in a purposely whiny tone, your voice ringing in shauna's ears as you sit across from each other on the bed. she grips her familiar journal while you help her go through her checklist of essential items.

"i'm not leaving you. It's only a week," she murmurs, her head bowed over her journal, but her eyes lift to catch yours. a playful smile dances on her lips, secretly entertained by your antics.

shauna played as the midfielder for the yellowjackets, a girls' soccer team. their recent victory had secured them a spot in the nationals in seattle, and it was all she could talk about.

you were genuinely excited for her, but the thought of spending so much time apart made you anxious. it wasn’t a full week, technically, but you couldn’t help worrying about shauna meeting someone much cooler in a much cooler place.

"remember the last time?" shauna reminisces about her trip to denver five years ago, also for soccer. you were just middle schoolers then, and you were forced to make new friends while she was gone for days. "you found new friends," her voice crackled slightly.

"so we are friends now?" you say, your voice constricting. shauna doesn't look up but you hear her snort, contrasting with her muscles tensing up. the silence settles in and you don't wait any longer to fill it, not wanting to make things any weirder than they already were.

"anyway. it's just not the same now," shauna understood your words perfectly well, especially considering the kind of friendship you had. still, she questioned.

"why's that?" she inquires, her hands absently rubbing the pen against her journal as she finishes her list.

"you know why," three words of yours were responsible for the abrupt stop of her writing. shauna places the journal and pen aside, focusing on you.

"because no one is as cool as me?" she quips, a self-satisfied grin spreading across her lips.

"that's debatable," you retort, feigning skepticism as you mock her with a playful expression.

"you hurt my feelings like that," her false frown deepens as she leans in.

her hands move surreptitiously toward your legs, eventually landing in a gentle and not so innocent touch on your knees. inch by inch, she traces your skin with her fingertips until her full hands were on your thigs and crawling up to your waist.

"i'm so sorry," you try to keep yourself unbothered by her touch but she's smarter. her nose strokes your cheek, stopping to give your upper lip a messy kiss, and she kisses her way town to your neck.

brushing your hair out of the way along with the heart necklace, her teeth gently grazes on your skin.

"nuh-uh. this won't do," her hot breath into your skin makes you shiver. "i have a better idea."

𖠋

everyone remembers where they are when an upsetting event happens. the death of a celebrity, a natural disaster, a medical trauma. you remember, clear as water, where you were when you read the newspaper. walking back home.

it was all over the news. flight 2525, the private plane that lottie matthews' dad had chartered, had disappeared. the plane shauna was in. making everything worse, the news would often use the word 'crash' instead and you couldn't bare the idea.

soon enough, it hit you that the night before her trip was the last time you would ever see her again. the only thing more unbearable than that was the uncertainty; not knowing if shauna was still out there.

after a month of silence, you thought you had your answer.

people don't move on from things like that, not completely. especially if their best friend was envolved. spending your days in bed, skipping meals and not going to class became part of your new routine. you lost track of whether it was day or night, whether the sun was shining or not. your mind was consumed by her.

moving on or not, life goes on and the world doesn't slow down for anyone. after six months, normalcy had returned for most. apart from the parents and a handful of students, the yellowjackets had faded from people's memories, just like their plane. this pissed you off. you barely had time to grieve as the rest of the world rushed forward.

forcing yourself to merely exist, not truly live, you returned to class. like a ghost, you attracted curious glances and avoided them like the plague. after graduation, college was the next step.

a year later, shauna’s parents asked if you wanted anything from her room. something special, or perhaps just to visit. you were certain it wasn’t a good idea, but you went anyway. under her pillow, you found an envelope from brown university—the same school you were attending, the place you and shauna had planned to go together.

that was all it took to break you down into a sobbing mess on her bed.

𖠋

things got better. not perfect, not the way they used to be, but better. you weren't alone anymore but always had to push away the idea of losing all of your friends at once, one in special. luckily or not, college kept you busy.

"have you finished tomorrow's essay? It's so boring I might just drop the class," your girlfriend says, dropping a pile of old books on the cafeteria table and sitting across from you.

"i have dark circles under my eyes, what do you think?" you groan, lifting your head. she leans over the table to kiss your forehead.

"i think you still look pretty, baby."

"thanks, but I'm not letting you copy my work."

"worth the shot," she chuckles, placing two cups of coffee on the table, sliding one towards you.

your plan was to finish that damn essay and be completely free. the cafeteria was buzzing with students, but at least they were minding their own business. that's what you get for studying in a campus cafeteria.

"did you hear what happened to them? i'm so glad they're alive. It must have been so tough," her sudden comment startles you, taking a moment to register.

you swallow a lump in your throat as you glance over your shoulder at the TV, where crowds of people are watching the news: 'yellowjackets rescued'.

"holy shit," you whisper, the shock setting in as you realize you hadn't revealed not only your awareness of their situation but also your complex connection with one of them.

𖠋

a week after shauna got back, her parents had called you your stomach was turning upside down and your anxiety levels were through the roof. you couldn't manage to put your feelings into words.

you knocked on her bedroom door, too anxious to wait, just to announce yourself. for the first time in almost two years, shauna stood before you. she bore a few scars, nothing too severe; her hair had grown longer, losing its waves; her eyes seemed somehow larger, fixed on you as if she had just saw something extraodrinary.

she leapt from the bed, a cautious gaze scanning you, before rushing toward you and embracing you tightly.

her arms wrapped around your shoulders, her fingers digging into your clothes so intensely it almost hurt. you reciprocated, holding her waist tightly to keep her close, unsure when the tears started flowing, but you feeling your shoulders becoming wet.

"hi," she whisper between tears, her voice crackling.

"hi," you echo her. "i thought i would never see you again."

"i know," she sniffs, clinging to you. the last thing she murmurs for the long time you two spent hugging.

shauna was back, but she was much quieter, easily irritated, and frightened by everything. she had every right to feel that way, but you were worried. no one was allowed inches close to her journal and you respected that, encouraging her to write about her feelings.

your finals didn't matter anymore; nothing else did. for the next few weeks, you were constantly by her side. even waiting outside the bathroom door like a loyal dog.

however, you weren't the same as before. you weren't as touchy or intimate, especially after shauna discovered you were dating someone else. she became distant and strange, pushing you away and ignoring your calls.

"hey, I bought you a new book. It's from that author you used to like before..." you stop yourself mid-sentence. "you know."

forcing a smile, you place the book on her desk. her vacant eyes meet yours, but she remains still, lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

"is everything okay?" you ask hesitantly, walking towards her and offering your hand.

the silence lingers but she accepts your hand and joins you.

"shauna?" you say. as soon as she's on her feet, she drops your hand quickly.

"everything is fine," she says sharply.

"right... it's just that you've been acting weird lately," you explain, trying not to upset her.

"in case you didn't know, I was trapped in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for almost two years," she snaps, her body stiffening.

"yes, i know," you say, inhaling deeply. "but I—"

"don't you have to go back to your girlfriend anyway?" she interrupts, glancing at the door and then back at you. she clearly wanted you out.

"no, I don't," you reply, frowning. "is she why you're acting like an idiot?"

she snorts, taking a step forward, her eyes narrowing.

"It's funny how I'm the idiot when you've replaced me with someone else so quickly," you would feel bad thanks to the pain in her voice if it weren't for her absurd words.

"replace you?" you scoff. "she's my girlfriend, shauna."

"and what was I?"

"you were my friend! we were friends."

her face shuts down completely, lips parting as if ready to shout something, but she stops herself. you weren't sure if you agreed with your own words, but it’s too late now.

"i thought you were dead," you say, taking a deep breath to keep your voice steady. shauna, however, seems perfectly fine with letting her voice rise.

"you sure did," she says, shaking her head slightly.

"well, you left me."

"not because I wanted to, you fucking idiot!" she snarls, suddenly pressing her forearm against your collarbones and pushing you backwards. you gasp in surprise as your back hits the cold wall.

"shauna! what are you doing?" you try to push her away, but she’s stronger than you remember and hold you in place.

"do you ever think of me when you kiss her?" she whispers, ignoring your question. her breath is ragged, her chest heaving. she tilts her head slightly, studying your face. then she leans closer, her lips just brushing against yours.

you can hardly make sense of her words, stunned by her sudden change in behavior. your mouth hangs open, but no sound comes out.

"answer me," she growls, pressing her arm harder against you. her jaw clenches, making you yelp, and you immediately whisper a faint 'yes.'

she smirks, crashing her lips into yours. though you hesitated for a moment, you quickly recovered, syncing your movements with her rough rhythm. when you try to pull her closer by the hips, she lets go of your chest, grasping your wrists and pinning them along with you.

the urgent kiss didn't last much longer as she trailed her way down to your jawline with small bites and feral kisses, eventually reaching your neck. in her preferred area, you cry out her name when she sinks her teeth into your skin, drawing blood.

when did she got so into biting?

[babysukiii]

fallingforyou (3)

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, hints of underage drinking, lowkey jealous lottie if you squint, lottie is an idiot

(this is part 3, you can read part 2 here, and part 1 here)

on this night and in this light (i think i’m falling)

“don’t you think we should be, i don’t know, actually working?” lottie questions sardonically, and you turn your head to scowl at her from where you’re laying on the rug in your room. a new episode of sabrina the teenage witch was playing and you were excitedly watching it. “shut up! sabrina is talking!” you hiss warningly, causing the yellowjackets sweeper to roll her eyes in annoyance, while you turn your gaze back to the tv. “why didn’t you tell me you were going to be doing this the whole time? i would’ve just gone home.” it’s a blatant lie, but you don’t know that, and lottie doesn’t want to tell you otherwise.

you scoff, “yeah, sure. after the way you acted when i cancelled yesterday? you’re stuck here now.” the comment is supposed to annoy lottie, but it doesn’t. it doesn’t annoy her at all, the thought of being stuck here with you. lottie blinks rapidly, trying to shove that thought so far away, she’ll never have to deal with it again. “you don’t like sabrina?” you ask, gesturing to the tv, and lottie shakes her head. “i don’t really watch tv.” she mutters her response, making you furrow your brows and laugh lightly. “seriously? aren’t your parents loaded? i thought you’d have a huge theater where you watch all your favorite shows and movies.” you tease her, causing her to glower in your direction.

“you thought wrong.” she retorts, but there’s something in her tone that you can’t quite place. you can sense the shift in demeanor, but you don’t press the subject. lottie is like an animal you’re trying to tame. she could snap at any moment for any reason. you know lottie is like this for a reason; you can’t help but wonder if maybe her mother is just as angry as her. or perhaps her father has a temper. “well, either way… it’s been kind of nice having you over.” you start cautiously, and lottie looks over at you; her tenebrous gaze meeting yours.

“i just mean, i get lonely sometimes even though i’m here with my siblings all the time. it’s nice to have someone to spend time with.” you ramble, and lottie’s eyes seem to soften in a way you’ve never seen before. “i like being here with you too.” lottie says before she can think twice, taking not only herself by surprise, but you as well. a faint blush creeps onto your face, and lottie takes in how pretty you are. before either of you can say anything else, your older sister barges through your bedroom door, causing you to jump.

lottie looks annoyed at the intrusion, and she sends a scowl the older girls way. elise stares at you for a moment, furrowing her brows as she notices how flushed your cheeks are. she can nearly feel the tension in the room. “mom said dinners ready. she served your friend a plate.” the eighteen year old comments, flashing you a knowing look. you nod, “okay! be there in a minute.” you aimlessly respond, trying to keep your eyes away from your sisters. you do everything to stop blushing but it doesn’t seem to work. elise reluctantly leaves without saying anything else, and lottie clears her throat.

“i feel bad your mom has been setting an extra plate for me. i didn’t even ask if it was okay…” lottie trails off, insecurity laced throughout her tone. you shake your head quickly in protest, “my mom likes you! she thinks your nice, and she doesn’t mind.” you assure her, “besides, my dad always works super late so he never eats with us. there’s always an extra seat.” you ramble a bit, and lottie feels a bunch of mini starbursts in her chest; going off rapidly one by one. she swallows thickly, “thanks.” she doesn’t know what else to say and internally cringes at her response. you get up, flashing her a little grin that causes her belly to flip in an uncomfortable way.

“come on, matthew’s, before my mom gets pissed.” you taunt, waiting for her to get up from her seat on your bed. she follows you out of your room, chuckling slightly, “i can’t imagine your mom angry. she’s so tiny.” lottie makes you giggle, “trust me, she can be terrifying. have you ever heard that shorter people are more likely be evil because they’re close to hell?” your retort sounds serious, which makes it even more hilarious, and lottie can’t help but burst out laughing. you giggle as well, and you don’t even realize elise and your mother are staring at you both with inscrutable looks.

you and lottie aimlessly take a seat beside each other, and lottie smiles at your mother. “thank you, mrs. l/n. this smells delicious.” she says politely, and your mom offers her a smile. “you’re welcome, sweetheart. it’s carne asada, beans, and rice, y/n’s favorite.” she admits, and elise snickers, “basics just like her.” the older girl chimes in, and sabrina giggles while you flush. lottie looks at you, and she can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you blush. surely she’s notice how pretty you were before, but she can’t remember ever thinking about it. elise is the only one who is aware of the way lottie is looking at you.

“so mom… maria invited me to a get together at her sorority house. can i go after dinner?” elise asks hopefully, and your mom gets this skeptical look on her face. “a get together? at a sorority house?” she questions uncertainly, obviously not buying it. “yeah! it’s just a few of the girls! please mom?” the oldest teen asks, putting on her best puppy eyes. lisa quirks a brow challengingly, “then you wouldn’t mind taking y/n with you?” she asks, smiling in a condescending way. she obviously seems to know elise will refuse to bring you along. your eyes widen at the same time elise’s do.

“me!?”

“her!?”

you both respond to your mother at the same time, and lisa nods simply. “if it’s a get together, then you should have no problem with taking your sister. besides, when was the last time you two did anything together?” the older woman asks, and a glower etches itself onto elise’s features. “why can’t i go too!?” sabrina asks, pouting and clearly upset. “because you’re failing english, and need to study.” lisa pointedly responds, and elise huffs. “fine. i’ll take her, but she’s gonna be complaining the whole time!”

your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline, and you protest quickly. “i don’t wanna go! it’s friday night, and the last thing i wanna do is spend it with elise and a bunch of her weird friends!” you flash your mom a pair of begging eyes, “please don’t make me go.” lottie commends your mother for having the willpower to go against those eyes because damn, she feels her resolve slipping and the peculiar need to step in and protect you kicks in. “i can go with you guys. just so you’re not stuck there alone.” lottie offers, and your head turns to gaze at her.

you blink a few times, clearly confused as to why lottie matthew’s would want to spend a friday night with you. “but didn’t you get invited to becky martin’s bonfire?” you inquire, and lottie shrugs, “i wasn’t gonna go to that anyways.” she lies, but you seem to believe her because you flash her a grateful expression, “i mean if you really wanna be stuck with elise’s friends all night, then sure.” you half joke, making your older sister scoff. “my friends aren’t that bad! i mean at least i have more than three, unlike you!” she hisses, and you roll your eyes.

“ever heard of quality over quantity?” you sardonically retort, making lottie chuckle. elise narrows her eyes at you, “you’re so lucky moms forcing me to bring you.” she mutters, as she continues eating.

after dinner you and lottie head back to your room, and you’re a bit quieter than usual. “you don’t have to go just for my expense, you know? i know you were planning on being at that bonfire tonight.” you say softly, and lottie tenses up as you call her out. there’s no malice or anger in your tone, but lottie frowns. “if i wanted to go to that bonfire i would. i’m hanging with you tonight.” she responds adamantly, and the way you smile washes all of her doubts away.

“okay then, i guess i’ll start getting ready. you already look pretty, but we can stop by your house if you want to change?” you suggest and lottie shrugs, trying to ignore the sensations inside of her that she gets when you call her pretty. “i’ll just go like this. i mean, it’s just a bunch of elise’s lame friends. they’re probably just gonna talk about books and stuff.” she jokes, and you giggle, making her stomach get all knotted up again. god, she really hates that feeling.

throughout the entire way to the sorority house, lottie can’t help but occasionally steal a few glances at you. you had decided to wear a pair of tight black flare jeans, and a cropped fur coat that apparently belongs to elise. lottie wasn’t used to seeing you outside of your usual school clothes. you’d mostly wear jeans and sweaters; hiding every part of yourself. though tonight lottie had a hard time keeping her eyes off you. as soon as elise pulls into the parking lot of the campus, you can hear loud music in the distance.

your confusion only seems to grow as the music gets louder, the closer to the sorority house you all get. finally, your steps begin to falter when you realize you’re approaching a house with a few drunk students outside. someone was laying on the grass, and another person was holding her friends hair while she threw up in a bush. “elise this is not a get together! this is a frat party!” you exclaim angrily, as a large guy drunkenly stumbles past you guys. elise actually looks guilty for a moment, but the expression is quickly replaced by an angry one. “that’s why i didn’t want you to come! god, mom treats me like i’m a fucking kid! i’m eighteen; i should be allowed to have some fun.” she snaps, and you sigh.

“you should’ve just been honest with me. or snuck out like a normal person your age! now i’m stuck here!” you begin to argue with the older girl, who huffs in response. “yeah, cause being at a college frat party is every seventeen year olds worst nightmare. seriously, y/n, when was the last time you were even invited to a party?” elise sardonically asks, and you frown. “i’ve been to parties!” you internally cringe at how stupid you sound, and even lottie knows you’re lying. she’s only ever seen you at one party before, and even then you had left early.

elise shakes her head in dismay, “i bet you wouldn’t even know what to do at a place like this.” she challenges, and lottie frowns when she sees the determination on your features. “well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” you provoke her back, suddenly thinking about those new shoes you’ve been wanting for a month. elise lights up, and lottie thinks it’s the first time she’s ever seen her look so excited as she talks to you. “fine. if you can get a guy or two to dance with you, and actually let loose… i’ll buy you anything you want from the mall. under a hundred and twenty bucks.” she says and you nod in agreement. “deal.” you confirm, holding your hand out for your sister to shake.

lottie gets a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as the three of you walk into the sorority house. immediately lottie is alert and aware of how many people there are in here; how crowded and dim-lit the house is. losing you here would be easy, and it’d take lottie forever to find you. elise ditches you as soon as she sees her friends, and lottie hates that she’s thinking about what it’d be like if she didn’t come. you’d be stuck here, alone.

“at least they’re playing good music.” you comment, noticing an upbeat spanish song was playing. lottie’s cheeks turn a shade of crimson red as she flushes timidly. “i failed spanish class last year… i think i’m doing really bad in french too this year.” she reveals and you let out this tinkling laugh that causes her to stare at you. she takes in how you look under this lighting; your hair was clipped back in a half updo, but it was still curled in this carefree way that made lottie think you looked absolutely beautiful. she glances away, trying to think of anything but that.

“it’s okay, i suck at french. i only passed spanish class because it was my first language.” you tell her, and she smiles at the admission, “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to learn another language, it’s like my head just can’t grasp anything other than english. spanish is sexy though.” lottie blurts out, and you raises your eyebrows in a bit of amusement as her cheeks burn in humiliation. she has no idea why she just said that.

“here you go pretty ladies. you two look like you needed a drink.” a deep voice intervenes, as you look to see a tall frat boy handing you both cups. lottie speaks before you can even think about it, grabbing your hand, and grasping it firmly. her grip sends a jolt of electricity down your body, and you lose all train of thought as soon as she touches you. “we’re good, thanks though.” she says in that usual not-so-kind voice before pulling you away. “hey! i’m supposed to be getting guys like that to dance with me if i want to win the bet!” you argue, pouting as lottie begins to look for the drink station. she rolls her eyes, making a face of clear disdain at the fact that you’re actually going through with elise’s stupid challenge.

“you’re not seriously going to try and win that stupid bet, are you?” lottie gives you the third degree as she questions you, and you frown at her tone. you aren’t really sure why she sounds so upset. “well, yeah, i mean i want some new shoes and it’s an easy win. how hard can it be to get a few college dudes to dance with me?” you ask uncertainly, and lottie only seems more and more annoyed as you explain yourself. “these guys don’t just wanna dance with you, y/n. they’re all here looking to get laid.” she states, the contemptuousness in her voice causes something inside of your abdomen to tingle.

“obviously i’m not going to let them do that, matthew’s.” you respond as you both come to a stop at the drink station. lottie scoffs as she begins to make your drinks, refusing to answer you anymore. you frown, “you’re such an ass.” you mutter, only adding to her annoyance. she shoots daggers at you with her eyes, “me?? because i don’t want some gross college guy trying anything with you?” she sounds serious, and you can’t help but let your frustration wash away as you realize she’s just worried about you.

“if i didn’t know any better i’d think you’re actually starting to care about me.” you say carefully, as lottie hands you a cup of cranberry vodka. “yeah well, good thing you know better.” she murmurs, and before you can get another word out, an older guy approaches you both. “hey, i’m chris.” he introduces himself, flashing you a shy smile. “y/n.” you respond back, and lottie tries to hide the obvious distaste towards him while he eats you up with his eyes. “do you maybe wanna dance, y/n?” he asks hopefully and you’re about to say yes, when you remember lottie’s obvious indifference towards the bet.

“no, i’m okay. i’m here with someone else.” you simply respond, and the look of disappointment and humiliation etches itself onto his face. “oh, yeah. cool. i’m sorry. i’ll see you around then.” he quickly apologizes before rushing away in the opposite direction. lottie looks at you, visibly befuddled as to why you would turn him down. you shrug at her reaction, taking a sip of your drink, “i can always just blackmail elise into getting me the shoes. she’s not even supposed to be here, let alone have me here. moms gonna flip.” you laugh lightly and suddenly a sense of relief courses throughout the raven haired girl.

she isn’t sure why she was upset at the thought of you dancing with some other guy. the mere thought of some seedy dudes hands on you made her blood boil for reasons she didn’t understand.

it isn’t until lottie is laying in bed later that night; the image of your pretty smile and eyes are the only thing that she can see when she closes her eyes, that she realizes what this is. lottie matthew’s isn’t stupid; she’s aware of what’s happening… she just doesn’t want to admit it. because just last month lottie hated you; now she couldn’t get you out of her head. she was falling fast and she wasn’t sure if she could stop.

[understrangeforbiddenskies]

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖☁️ my rules

what i WILL write: fem!reader, fluff, angst, headcannons - nat scatorccio, lottie matthews, jackie taylor, shauna shipman, van palmer, ellie williams, abby anderson, dina woodward - i will also take requests for moodboards (just be specific and i'll do my best)

what i WILL NOT write: male!reader, smut, male!character x reader

things to note;

16+ account although i won't be checking because my account is relatively sfw

i would like to mention that i do have school and a whole life outside of this so if i can't complete requests or fics at times, that is why !

[tr4v1e]

im sorry.

a/n: bro I was literally listening to Laufey and some TV girl the whole time, THEN THIS CHAOS CAME OUT OF IT- (yippe!! Bc I can’t be bothered making a pt 2 of Double trouble SO YOUR GONNA HAVE TO THINK THAT THROUGH- ) btw this isn’t proofread SOOO—

characters: shauna!shipman x fem!reader

characters used to speak: natalie!scatorccio , taissa!turner , lottie!matthews

Warning: angst? , violence, fights, breakdowns, ending up with fluff??? , blood???

summary: POST-CRASH BTW reader getting caught cheating on shauna at the nature retreat. (WITH LOTTIE 😭)

It’s been a while since you and Shauna really did anything.. you two both got together after Jackie’s death, and then you’ve been looking after her and the baby.

Until recently when Shauna gave birth, the baby didn’t make it. Leading Shauna into heartbreak for a while, she didn’t talk to anyone besides you and Taissa, sometimes Van and Nat.

You’d just hold her whenever you both finished doing your work for the day. Just sitting in the attic, with shauna laying between your legs while you two just lay there in silence before drifting to sleep in each others arms..

But now here you are, at the nature retreat. Shauna was still asleep in the cabin, and she always refused going to them.. she didn’t want you to go there either just incase Lottie’s “wilderness bullshit” got to your mind. And it did.. ending up with Lottie pressed against you at the back of the cabin while everyone else was doing their own stuff after the nature retreat.

Lottie had her hands gently cupping your face, as she pulls you close into the kiss. It lasted a moment before you pulled away, trying to catch her breath.

“Lottie stop- this isn’t right.. it’s not fair on me- it’s not fair on Shauna..” you try to speak, only to be shushed with Lotties lips being crashed back into yours.

“No, it’s okay.. the wilderness wants us to. It wants us to Y/N, it needs to be satisfied.” She whispers, her tone in voice was hushed.. but gentle.

Feeling the amount of guilt all you could do was sigh, and nod.. before giving in. Letting lottie kiss you, this time a bit softer as she lifts you off the ground, pushing you against the wall while your legs wrap around her waist. Until you hear something drop with a loud thud. Both you and Lottie pull away, your eyes widen as a rush of guilt spreads in your chest.

Shauna was staring at the two of you, a mixture of Betrayal, rage, and hurt flooded her eyes. All she did was just run back to the cabin, leaving the logs in the snow. You end up pushing Lottie off yourself before chasing after Shauna.

“Shauna wait!” You shout, Shauna doesn’t stop, she continues to walk.

She ends up going into the cabin, pushing past Taissa. You stop in your tracks when you almost bump into her.

“God, what is that about Y/N?” Tai looks at you with confusion.

“Not the right time now Tai, something happened between Shauna and- and I just want to make sure she’s okay..” you try to move past Taissa until she grabs you by your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“Let her be, she looks like she doesn’t want to be bothered, let alone talked to.. so I suggest just giving her some time to cool off?” She says, nudging you back on the path like a neglected cat, getting kicked out of its house for scratching up the sofa.

You look at the floor, before nodding.

“Alright, your right.. I’ll probably just go find Natalie and help out with more chores.” you mumble, before looking back at Taissa.

Tai nods in agreement.

“Sounds good, atta girl Y/N.” she pats you on the back before walking off, probably either going to find Van or do some work.

And that’s what you do, it’s now probably almost dark when you and Nat walk back to the cabin. But that’s when you hear it, shouting. Both you and Natalie run into the cabin in time to see Shauna hook Misty right in the face.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Natalie raises her voice, before pulling Misty away from Shauna. “You killed my fucking baby!” She screams. Van trying to pull Shauna away.

“You all fucking ate my baby! I saw you were all covered in blood!” Shauna continues to yell. Trying to fight Van off her. She ends up biting Van, causing her to cry out.. letting Shauna go, Shauna was about to attack Misty, until Lottie steps infront of Shauna, you stare at the two of them.. going silent.

Lottie stares at Shauna before speaking. “Shauna, we need you. We need you to let it out Shauna.” She says softly.

Before you could even blink. Shauna was beating the living shit out of Lottie, the taller girl was on the ground, getting kicked and stomped on by your own girlfriend.. or maybe ex..? Everyone didn’t do anything, they either just stared or looked away at the mess. After a while Shauna gets exhausted. Pulling away from the fucked up faced girl you see laying on the floor. She makes her way up, staring down at Lottie.

“Lottie.” She says coldly, no sign of remorse in her voice. It took a little while until Lottie coughed up blood, then started to breathe once again. Shauna then stomped her way outside, you followed her outside.. making sure she doesn’t end up freezing. You open the door, causing Shauna to snap a glance at you. Before scoffing, turning back around to look at the snow.

“Listen.. about today..”

“What about today? After finding out my own girlfriend was caught having a make out session with Lottie fucking Matthews?God Y/N, I fucking hate you!!” She interrupts you, her voice was raising.

“It’s not what you think.. I didn’t know what happened.. it all happened so quick!” You shout, causing you both to argue. But it ends up with Shauna sobbing out her frustrations. She started to hit the wooden pillar, it didn’t damage the wood.. but more of her hands.

You wouldn’t just stand by and watch her hurt herself. You quickly grab her hands pulling her close as you crouch down besides her on the steps. Letting Shauna sob in your shoulder.

“I hate you.. I hate you..” she sobs silently in your shoulder. “You’re a cheating.. bitch.” She mumbles. Hitting you on your back tiredly. It only felt like a tap to you. You hold her close.

“You don’t mean that darling..but I still deserve it. ” you mumble, patting her back softly. It felt like knives in shaunas heart as she starts to sob even more in your shoulder.

“… I don’t..” she sniffles. Shaunas hits gets more softer.. and softer.. to the point she gets tired. Shauna goes quiet. Allowing you both to just lay there, her in your arms.

You both go quiet, holding her as she ends up falling asleep in your arms. her arm wrapping around your waist while her free hand is holding onto yours as you look down at her bruised knuckles.

After a moment of silent, you end up carrying her.. into the cabin. ( she’s taller than you- wtf? masc!reader that you? )

The other girls eyes meeting yours then shaunas, by the looks of it, Lottie was taken to the attic.. with Misty watching over her. You set Shauna down on her blanket. No one felt like speaking for the rest of the night.. featuring what they all just witnessed. It all ended with Shauna asleep besides you.. and your girlfriend back.

Don’t worry guys lottie is okay!! ⬇️⬇️

[skyesdaisys]

character's i write for

welcome to my list of characters where i have many of them from many fandoms that i write for

requests: open currently (just wanna try writing again)

bolded names are ones i really wanna write for

yellowjackets (jackie taylor, lottie matthews, taissa turner, van palmer, nat scatorccio, laura lee, callie sadecki)

dc titans (dick grayson, jason todd, kory anders, gar logan, donna troy, dawn granger, hank hall)

fear street (deena johnson, sam fraser, ziggy berman, cindy berman, kate schmidt, alice hart, simon kalivoda, tommy slater, young!nick goode)

teen wolf (scott mccall, stiles stilinski, isaac lahey, malia tate, kira yukimura, lydia martin, liam dunbar)

american horror story (violet harmon, kit walker, lana winters, zoe benson, madison montgomery, kyle spencer, misty day, cordelia goode, jimmy darling, tristan duffy, ally mayfair-richards, kai anderson, winter anderson, mallory, brooke thompson, montana duke)

the summer I turned pretty (jeremiah fisher, belly conklin, taylor jewel, shayla wang, conrad fisher)

gossip girl (nate archibald, dan humphrey, blair waldorf, jenny humphrey, serena van der woodsen, vanessa abrams)

miscellaneous: maeve rojas (one of us is lying), leighton murray (the sex lives of college girls), miguel diaz (cobra kai), brooke davis (one tree hill), maeve wiley & ruby matthews (sex education), kate bishop (hawkeye), roronoa zoro (one piece live action), daisy johnson (agents of shield), zach dempsey (13 reasons why)

sidenote: I will only write for fear street during spooky season, and to an extent, ahs when I'm in a Mood to do so (so don't request unless it's october or september at the earliest). you can send requests for the other shows and characters anytime and anywhere you want (yellowjackets and gossip girl specifically atm because I'm currently watching/rewatching both right now)

another thing i'd like to add, i wouldn't mind writing poly ships x reader like dickkory, jackieshauna, stalia, sameena, lottienat, jaygar, etc. (or a poly ship with crossover characters like dick grayson & kate bishop for example)

i will write for fluff, angst, and maybe smut (there's only so much i am comfortable with though) if you ask nicely. and i only write for fem & gn readers

and as a reminder, you guys can request for the following fandoms for oneshots, headcanons, or just sending your fluffy or horny thoughts in my inbox (i don't judge)

[peach-and-bugs]

Hi, I hope you are well, I fell in love with Nat's one-shot, so I was encouraged to ask for a request, well there are two that come to my head with different characters.

"Wow, you really never got out of your angsty teenage stage, did you?" with Teen Shauna (sorry it's just that you see those eyes and they bring back a lot of melancholy).

"Please tell me you didn't hold on to that all these years" with Lottie (1996) and Lottie (2021). I think with this one you can play with flashbacks of seeing what happened in the desert and their relationship in that timeline in 1996 as a reunion in 2021 somewhat angsty.

Sorry the request is so long, although I would like to add that I can imagine both requests with f reader, anyway thank you very much for everything, take your time and take care of yourself. ❤️

💚Flower stems for heartstrings - Lottie Matthews (1996 & 2021) x fem!Reader💚

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Summary: y/n finds evidence of her teenage best friend (and secret crush) being alive after all, and a possible way of finding her thanks to modern internet and goes on a personal quest to find her and the truth, all while reminiscing about their teen years...

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, fem reader that dresses both "masc" and "fem", underage drinking and smoking weed, extremely angst but with a good ending

Word Count: 8,758

A/N: woohoo! We've surpassed word count on my longest oneshot with this fic, the record previously being 6,990. And ngl, this might be one of my favorites to date! Lottie is an extra special gal who deserves an extra long one-shot, so of course I'm going to give her extra attention. What can I say, I'm not immune to favoritism. This one was actually so fun! I loved getting to write about excited, young (and medicated, let's be fr) Lottie bc I think we forget just how much the wilderness took a toll on her. She was so lively before, it makes me so sad. But, I hope I was able to give her a little bit of that liveliness back in this fic! I think in the request "desert" was supposed to be wilderness, but I wanted to have the reader be left behind, which adds a whole different kind of angst to the situation. As always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!💚

Lottie Matthews Tag List:

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-💚-

You’d only ever felt the way you did now only twice before in your life. Once when word got around that flight 2525 had mysteriously gone down in flames with no trace, and once again when you learned she’s been shipped off to god knows where for some kind of treatment. You hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye to her then and she was gone. 

It was a sickly green feeling that had you kneeling over with weak knees and a stone throat. Lottie Matthews, the girl you’d had your heart set on for all of these years, wasn’t gone. She wasn’t locked away or dead like gossip has always said. She was alive and well and looked like she was thriving. And how did you find this out? Through Instagram, of course. That might have been the worst part of all of this. 

One minute you’re mindlessly scrolling through your feed when an ad for a farmers market in some part of upstate New York, rather than New Jersey where you resided. But the ad featured a booth selling honey, and low and behold, there she was. Well, the photo didn’t give a clear picture of her face, but you refused to deny that it was her, despite how it made you sick. How could you forget that smile of hers after all? 

You had to put your phone away after that, but it didn’t help you sleep. A few hours into staring up at the ceiling, restless with gnawing curiosity, you decided sleep wouldn’t come till you found an answer. Rather spontaneously you packed a bag and got into your car. Was this the smartest thing to do? Hell no, but you had the weekend off for work anyways, and nothing stopped you from going, so you drove through the nightstand into the morning and drove by coffee, a podcast, and the straining urge that you needed to know what was going on.

-💚-

At some point in the night, you found your mind wandering as your eyes trained on the empty highway before you, highlighted by your headlights. You reminisce a time long before, even more than 25 years ago. Back when you had been a freshman in high school during your lunch period. You moved to Wiskayok, New Jersey late in the year, giving you an even later start to your first year of high school. You’d relatively been left alone and had decided you'd be alright with that. Not everyone can have friends right? So, alone you sat outside on the school's field, picking at the grass underfoot having already finished your lunch. 

Some students around you sat on the track or the stadium's bleachers with their friends, enjoying company and comradery or whatever and you didn’t like to admit how it made you jealous. But what was there for you to do to change it? You refused to look desperate and walk up to random groups of people who would probably talk about how lame you are behind your back-

“Hey, you alright?” the sudden voice in your direction yanked you out of your self-deprecating thoughts. Looking up you had to squint your eyes to try and make out who was talking to you as the sun shone in your eyes till they tilted their head, blocking it. After some adjustment from the sunspots in your eyes, you were greeted with a shy yet warm smile. 

“Um, yeah, I’m fine,” you uttered awkwardly, swallowing the frog in your throat that had your voice croaking. The girl chuckled and tottered down to the ground to sit beside you in the grass. She dressed well, was one of the first things you noticed. Her pink skirt and tall white socks were very countering to your grass-stained jeans, scuffed hightops, and t-shirt. 

“You sure, because you’re all by yourself,” she said rather matter of factly. 

“Well, maybe I like being alone. Think of that,” she arched her brow curiously. “And as far as I know you’re alone too,” she chuckled again with a little huff. 

“Tuche,” was all she replied, but she had a stupidly shiny grin on her face. Next, she reached out her hand to shake. “I’m Charlotte, by the way. But most people call me Lottie,” you hesitated for a standing moment, only staring at her hand as you kept yours loosely wrapped around your knees till you gave in, shaking her hand in greeting. 

“I’m y/n,” 

“Well y/n, tell me about yourself,” she spent the rest of that lunch period at your side, asking questions about you in exchange for the little tidbits you were willing to give her. It was so strange, looking back now, how a because girl decided you looked lonely you'd be driving to upstate New York on a random Thursday night due to your desperation to find her again. 

Lottie had always been charismatic. She liked people. She looked at them like puzzles made special for her to figure out. Maybe that was her way of avoiding herself, or maybe she just had a natural curiosity for those she didn’t understand. But from that day on, she hadn’t left you alone. She’d excitedly greet you in the halls, and invite you out with her friends and to late-night parties. She was the one who integrated you into the community and helped you find a place. 

But she also became your best friend. However, you struggled to feel like you were hers sometimes. She was so bright and colorful, full of life and boy was she popular. She always had someone with her, unless she found the time for you exclusively, which dwindled more and more as high school progressed. Of course, this is a concern you could talk to her about but you didn’t want to bother. In truth, you feared your feelings were driven by selfishness. You thought you'd never voice it, but oh, how you undoubtedly adored Lottie Matthews. 

You felt her encase you when she was close and her laugh was enough to have you swooning. You thrived in her presence and basked in the littlest bit of attention she may offer you. Her touch was electrifying and when she grabbed your hand when she greeted you you felt what had to be magic. But of course, you could never tell. Sure, you knew you were gay and you were so fortunate that you’re mother said it was ok, but you’d never tell, ever. Even if the ache felt like it was squeezing you, you couldn’t lose Lottie. You didn’t want to scare her away and be a freak. 

Part of you wonders if that’s why you'd lost Lottie after all. You hadn’t been honest with her. No, that wasn’t rational. A secret didn’t take down an airplane. 

-💚-

You didn’t arrive till mid-afternoon, late morning, the sun high above as you made your way towards this market. They had their location posted online, so with a quick search and an input to your mapping app you were all set to go. Moments like that reminded you of how on your road trips with your mother growing up she'd have you read the map in the passenger's seat beside her, your finger tailing over the highways towards the little star sticker added on to be your final destination. Strange how so little time felt like it had passed since then yet a whole life as well.

Venders had been set up for some time now and enjoying the comfortable air as they mingled and shopped. You hooked a tote bag over your shoulder to look less conspicuous (although there inherently isn’t anything conspicuous about a middle-aged queer woman at a farmers market, still. You felt a need to keep a low profile). You wandered for some time, looking for a stall that said something like sunset honey, or maybe it was sunnyside. Something involving both the sun and honey, and it looked like the people working wore a lot of purples. 

Honestly, it was a very nice market in itself. Had you had ulterior motives for attending you would have quite enjoyed it. That is still you grew distracted by a florist’s stand. The owner had lovely premade bouquets that ranged in a variety of colors and sizes, but what caught your eye where the assortment of white and pastel metal buckets housing small assortments of different flowers, meant to be starters for gardening. In particular stood out the small purple flowers known for growing naturally back home, in Wiskayok. You tentatively reached out to stroke the petals. 

You hadn’t formally been invited to the party, but it was one of those words get around kind of things, she no one was actually invited, right? At least, that's what you'd told yourself as you got ready in your room, obsessively messing with your hair in the mirror. It was one of those beer-guzzling bonfire things that the seniors hosted on the outskirts of the woods now and then. This time, however, the justification was the girl's soccer team going to nationals, and after the whole pep rally earlier in the day, it did sound justified. 

You pulled back from the mirror to look back down at your clothes. You'd layered a black plaid dress with thin straps over a white sweater that’s sleeves cut off just below your elbow with tights and docs. You tugged at your coller, attempting not to grimace. Sure, you liked dressing feminine now and then, but when it came to events like this you couldn’t help the anxiety, especially with drunk boys. But still, you wanted to look nice, even if the drinks being served were from a beer keg. It just felt like one of those nights, you figured. You sighed and forced yourself to leave as there was a car horn honking outside, grabbing your backpack along the way as you went. It’d be good to have a quick getaway available to you if need be. 

“Have fun, hun! Make good choices for me, ok?” your mom called to you from the couch, watching one of her late-night shows while sipping tea and crocheting something as you went downstairs. You smiled, walked up beside her at the end of the couch, and kissed her forehead. 

“I will, mama, I promise,” you forced a tiny smile. She hummed her thanks and smiled, opening her eyes to take a look at you.

“Show me this little number you assembled for me,” she said, taking off her eyeglasses and gesturing up and down with her crochet hook as she readjusted in her seat to get a better view. You stretched out an arm, the other firmly holding your backpack to your shoulder, and did a turn around for her. She smiled wide and gave you playful applause. 

“Cute! And do you like it? Everything fits well?” 

“Yes, Mom, I promise,” you sighed, trying to refrain from rolling your eyes. It was a new dress you hadn’t worn yet and you knew she was only doing the classic mom routine but you had to go!

“Alright, you go have fun. And tell your friend Charlotte good luck at nationals!” she called after you as you shut the door front door and locked it. You turned, illuminated by your porchlight, and waved to your ride. Van had the passenger window of Taisa’s car down and she waved back with a confident grin on her face. You could hear Depeche Mode playing on the radio as you approached the car. You opened the door and slid inside with a quick smile. 

“Thanks for the ride, Taissa,” you said, trying not to sound as shy as you felt. She smiled in the rearview mirror, checking her surroundings as she turned down the radio. 

“Yeah, no problem girl,” she said with effortless confidence. You didn’t know Taissa or Van, or much of the school's soccer team all that well, but in your mutual connection to Lottie over the past four years you’d tagged along with them quite often and they’d always been nice to you.

“We couldn’t say no after Lottie was so adamant we were nice,” Van joked quite loudly to Taissa, giving you an up and down with that grin again. You stared for a second, unsure of what she was trying to imply till Taissa smacked the goalie in the arm with the back of her hand, hissing her name to make her shut up as she started driving. The redhead let out an undignified yelp.

“She’s being an asshole. And confusing. Lottie wanted you to come and she knew we’d be the best people to pick you up is all,” you still had a confused look on your face, your shoulders hunched inward. 

“Um ok, thanks?” you said it more like a question. 

“What she means, is that we like you. And we’ll tell you we like you,” Van chimed in again. She wasn’t as helpful to you as she thought she was.

“Right, ok. Is there something else going on that I’m not cluing in on?” Tai and Van shared a knowing look. 

“Ok, so the other day Lot kept going on about how she worries that you don’t feel like we’re all friends, and doesn’t want you to feel like you’re just her other friend that tags along, ya know? So we figured we pick you up and tell you that, because some of the other girls on the team aren't the best at communicating, ya know?”

“Oh. So we're friends?” you sounded far more surprised and eager than you would have wanted to. “And Lottie told you all that? About me, I mean?” Van grinned once more, fully turning around in her seat. 

“Yeah, dude! I think you’re really cool actually!” you began to smile more than before and leaned back, straightening up your posture. 

“And, yes, Lot had all that to say and more,” Tai added on. You were thankful for the dark car hiding any color that might have rushed to your face. 

“She talks about you all the time,” Van blabbed on. Tai gave her a look that told the goalie to keep quiet now. Just as she did you pulled up to another house in the neighborhood that has Lottie sitting on the front porch. She shot up when she saw the car but took a last-minute look at the front door like she was waiting for something. Van maneuvered in her seat to hang out the window. “Hurry up slowpoke or we’ll be late to our party,” Lottie all but yelped and ran to the car after that, toward your side of the car. 

You didn’t have enough time to move out of the way and before you knew it Lottie had flung the door open with an exhilarated grin, laughing as she climbed in over your lap to collapse in the seat beside you in the back. She’d picked to wear all pink, which was just so fitting for her. You noticed in particular that she was wearing one of her shorter skirts that she giggled to you about hiding from her mother. 

“Shut the door and go!” she said through giggles, and once you had the time to process what was happening you did just that, closing the now-opened door to your right, and Taissa was off. Lottie lunged forward in her seat and punched Van in the shoulder, laughing all the while. “God, fuck you! I could have been caught because of that,” she griped as Van dramatically clutched her arm. 

“Ugh, what’s with beating on the goalie tonight? I gotta stay fit for nationals and I’ll be covered in bruises at this rate,” 

“Whatever. You’re always covered in bruises, and not all of them are from soccer,” Lottie implied, her hands gripping Taissa’s headrest in front of her so she could lean forward and talk to the two girls up front. That is till she scooted back to give you her full attention. 

“Well, you’re liking fine as hell tonight hot stuff! Have you been hiding this little number?” Lottie asked, reaching out to touch the material of the dress you were wearing along your leg. You managed to force a laugh and playfully swatter her hand away with shifty eye contact. 

“It’s new. My mom got it for me during our last mall trip. She wanted me to expand my wardrobe or whatever,” you played off causally. Lottie gave you a knowing smile and sighed as she turned to look out the window. 

“I think it looks great, just like you always do,” she murmured rather quietly. You weren't even sure you were supposed to hear her. Not long after Tai parked and you all got out of the car. Van yelled something at the crowd that had already gotten things started and there was a low collection of howling and yelling in response to her. Lottie got out of the car before you but stopped and waited by your door for you to get out with her. She said nothing but had that perky smile on the whole time as she watched you expectantly.

“So, whatcha wanna do?” you asked. She shrugged. 

“I dunno. Maybe get reeeeeally drunk,” she toyed, reaching out to take your hand like it had become second nature. Tai walked up to the two of you from the driver seat of the car, double-checking as she locked it shut and shoved her keys in her jacket pocket. She made a purposefully obvious glance down at your entwined fingers then back up to Lottie.

“Careful Lot, people might talk,” she said with what Lottie took as a comfortable coolness but it sent a shiver down your back that caused you to think about pulling away. 

“Pfft! I don't give a flying fuck! Let them talk!” she announced quite loudly, leaning forward with her free hand on her hip. She turned her gaze back to you and wiggled her brows as she grinned. “Come on. Get a drink with me,” she urged, tugging you away from Taissa. 

“Don’t listen to her. No one is looking, and if they are they don’t care. What’s wrong with holding hands anyway?” Lottie babbled on as she pulled you in line for a beer with her. She was still holding onto your hand quite tight as she jumped into rambling about something related to her French class. Maybe a recent test? You weren't exactly sure. Despite everything she’d said before, it felt like everyone was looking, but not because of you. Because of Lottie. She was the pretty, popular girl while you were just the weirdo she hung around. With that idea in your head, it was pretty hard to not be self-continuous. You were so in your head that you didn’t notice her shoving a beer in your hand. 

“Wha- oh, thanks,” you stuttered. You'd let go of her hand to get your drink, opting to use both hands to hold it. Lottie frowned as she was handed her drink ans thanked the guy passing them out. 

“Hey, you alright? Lost you for a sec,” she murmured. She’d become so gentle all of a sudden. Were you really that fragile? She forced a smile and nodded.

“Yeah, I'm great. Just haven't gotten into the party mood yet, I guess,” 

“Oh, ok. Do you wanna step away, clear your head a bit?” you shook your head no. 

“Nah, I'm good. I’m just gonna grab something from my bag in Tai’s car, ok?” Lottie tilted her head, almost like she was trying to look at you from a new angle. 

“I can go with you,” she offered. God, why did she have to be so attentive and sweet?

“I promise I’ll be fine-” you started only for a distraction to catch your eye. “Hey, Shauna and Jackie are over that way. I’ll meet up with you when I’m done,” you offered, dialing up that chipper tone as high as you could. She finally gave in and nodded, making her way over to her other friends while you crept away to dash toward Tai, wherever she was. You eventually found her after dodging around cars and trees listening to Van argue with a group of boys about something sports-related probably. That honestly wasn’t a huge concern of hers at the moment. 

“Hey, Taissa. can I borrow your keys?” Taissa arched a brow. 

“You’re not trying to use my car to go joyriding or to fuck, right?” 

“What? Oh my god- no. I just wanna get something from my bag. It’s in the car,” 

“Where's Lot?” why is that relevant right now?

“She’s with Jackie and Shauna,” you began messing with the loose hair falling in your face, averting your eyes from her. Tai gave you an up and down before tugging at Van’s jacket. 

“Van, go with y/n to my car, ok?” 

“I was just in the middle-” Van started till Tai arched a brow and she gave in. Tai dropped her keys in the redhead's hand and you were off to the car again. 

“Do you already wanna leave?” Van asked, walking backward in front of you. 

“No, I just want something from my bag,” Van slowed to walk in stride with her hands in her pockets, watching you as you watched everyone who passed. 

“Care to share?” you just looked at her and finally managed a laugh.

“I’ll share when we get there,” upon reaching the car and unlocking it, you grabbed your bag and made your way to a more secluded edge over the party where you’d be left alone, Van trailing close behind till you set your solo cup on the ground, sat down saddle style on an old, knocked-over log to rummage through your bag. You pulled out a baggy you’d been holding onto and a lighter.

“Damn, y/n, I didn’t think you the type,” the goalie said as she dropped down across from you. “Where’d ya get it?” she asked, taking the joint you pulled out to share. 

“My older brother. He lives with my dad while he’s going to school and I visited him over Christmas and he gave me a few that I use quite sparingly. 

“Divorced?” she asked, referring to your parents. You shrugged.

“Kinda, but not really? It’s weird. They still like each other and get along but they aren't exclusive by any means. Dad works in Cali while mom moved here to look after her mom who’s a few houses down from us,” you explained as you fidgeted with the lighter, fixated on the way the flame moved up and down, on and off. Van snatched it out of your hand during an “off” moment to light the joint now placed firmly between her teeth. 

You simply watched her process, lighting the joint and then taking in a long breath before holding and letting it go with a sigh as though she was relieved before passing it to you. She did the same, watching your breath in with your eyes shut only to exhale into the dark, finishing off with a small cough before passing it once again. You could see streetlights from the main road from here, you realized. 

“You’re into Lot, aren’t you?” her voice was low to not attract attention, but she was confident in what she had asked. You paused, staring out at the lights just a short walk away. Normally, an insinuation that you were gay would have you panicked. It could have been the weed, but maybe you'd relaxed and found some sliver of comfort in the redhead, your new companion.

“I think I do,” you whistled through your teeth at your admission. You turned to meet her eyes when she nudged your shoulder with the side of her hand, passing the joint off again. “Think I’m a lost cause?” Van snorted and shook her head.

“Oh, hell no. That girl’s crazy about you,” Van said with a sigh, leaning back on her hands where she was sitting on the log. “Now, I don’t know what type of way she feels. Sexual, romantic, or just friendship. But there's something there. Lot’s banked a lot on you,” you began to smile again, soft and mellow as you took another hit. After that one, you leaned down to take a chug of your beer. You offered to pass again, but Van had turned her attention back to the party, particularly to Taissa who looked like she was getting shit from Shauna. Even from over her, you could tell she was wasted given how she stumbled around. Van groaned and got up from where she was sitting.

“Keep it. I gotta deal with this,” she huffed as she left. You watched her go, eyes trailing after her to meet with Lottie’s, who was staring right at you, arm crossed over her chest and cup in hand. She seemed to hesitate between you and her arguing friends, but when the debate got particularly loud she turned with a furrowed brow. You watched her go and kept watching till Jackie derailed the entire situation, pulling all the girls away likely to yell at them. With that done, you sighed, leaning back to fully lie on the log, the joint between your lips and legs dangling over either side as you shut your eyes. 

“You hiding from me over here?” you opened your eyes. The joint was nearly out as it had just been sitting between your teeth for who knows how long by now. Lottie stood over you, arms still crossed as she held onto her nearly drained drink. you shook your head, sitting up as she sat down beside you on your left, much closer than Van had been. You readjusted, sitting properly with both legs over one side of the log, shoulders hunched. Lottie's arm brushed against yours when she moves. “You didn’t come back,” she simply steed with no malice or accusation in her voice. You shrugged. 

“I was getting overwhelmed I guess,” you murmured. “Didn’t feel like talking,” 

“You seemed chatty with Van” Again, she simply stated fact. You sighed and leaned down to take another drink. Lottie took the joint from your hand. You watched, then reached for the lighter to give it a second wind. She held it between her forefinger and thumb for you and once it ignited once more it found home between her lips. You watched, sipping your beer. She smoked far prettier than Van had.

“Van’s a good listener guess. Doesn’t talk too much,” Lottie snorted out a laugh at that. 

“I don't think anyone has ever said ‘Van Palmer doesn’t talk much’” you chuckled out a soft laugh to match hers. You looked away, out at the lights again. Lottie took another breath in, letting the joint sit between her fingers with her crossed arms. She watched the lights with you, though she might not understand the fixation you seemed to have on them. That is, till she paused, turning fully to watch you. She tilted her head again, unexpectedly brushing her fingers over your temple to guide loose hair obstructing her view out of the way and behind your ear. “Let me kiss you,” she murmured, almost as though she was pleading. You turned back to her. Her hand settled on your cheek, fingertips curiously brushing over the apple of your cheek.

“Don’t kid me,” you whispered, eyes glazing as you darted down to her parted lips. 

“Never,” she shook her head ever so slightly. It made her hair sway. You swallowed hard but shakily nodded. That was enough of a yes for her to move in. She immediately dropped the joint in her hand and the hand tracing your cheek found home on the back of your neck. Her now free hand rested behind your ear, stroking your hair as you latched onto her waist, using your left hand to hold you up on the log. 

She kissed like she knew exactly what she was doing. As though this had all been part of a longstanding plan. She’d envisioned this just as you had, and fuck was it perfect. Her lisp whereas urgent as your own and had it not been a public space you might have let her do anything she wanted to you right then and there. She scrunched her fist into your hair, unintentionally pulling ever so lightly on your scalp and eliciting a sudden moan from your throat which only egged her on further till she had to pull away with you chasing after her. 

You opened your eyes wide, lips still parted as you gasped for breath in and out. And then, of course, you got shy, anxious voices telling you she’d regret this immediately. You began to turn from her but the hand in your hair let go and moved to trace knuckles over your cheek and subsequently turn your eyes back to her. She shook her head, murmuring no over and over, soothing you like a child about to cry. And at that thought, the thought of crying alone, you felt the tears spike in your eyes. She watched your brow crinkle as your lip trembled and she pulled you into her chest, holding you as close as she could. 

The hand on your neck found your back as the hand on your cheek moved to cup the back of your head. You buried into your neck as you cried, and she rested her cheek against your scalp, murmuring over and over how it was all ok. She kissed your hair, rubbed your back, and rocked you from side to side as your hands vigorously clung to her sweater, fearing letting her go, because what if the magic would be over and gone when she was out of your hands? 

But reluctantly you needed to let her go, and eventually, that point came where you emerged from her embrace, the scent of her shampoo and perfume fading from you quickly as you met her puffed, teary gaze. She moved to hold your cheeks in her hands as her breath shook. You held your hands around hers, kissing her palm with a weak smile. Fortunately, that had her let go of a watery laugh. But neither of you spoke yet. You just sat in warm silence till you readjusted to be side by side once more, your head lulled to her shoulder with her cheek at your temple.

“Fuck, what do we even do after that?” you breathed, eyes training down to the long discarded joint and red solo cups with only sips left of beer in them, though yours has spilled at some point, soaking the ground under it. 

“I leave tomorrow,” she murmured back. You dressed your lips together before letting go of another sigh. 

“I know… we should have waited” she chuckled sleepily.

“I don’t think so,” you hummed your why. “I’ll be excited to get back here. Well, more excited than I already was to see you,” you chuckled, though your tongue dripped with wordless sarcasm. 

“Don’t forget about me,” 

“Oh, how could I ever after that?” she teased with another giggle. You smiled, nuzzling your nose into her shoulder. With the change in direction, you got an idea upon seeing a small purple flower growing just beside her shoe.

“I know how,” you started, reaching across her side to pick it, leaving a nice, long stem to tuck behind her ear and in her hair. You sat back to admire your work and smiled. “Purple suits you,” you decided, tucking some of the hair behind her ear for a better look at your work. She chuckled with a sniffle, her fingers gently wrapping around your palm, catching you to kiss your fingertips. 

“Mam, are you alright?” you were dragged out of your daydream like a shockwave and had to take several moments to ground yourself again, taking in a deep breath. You blinked repeatedly, shaking your head before forcing a smile. 

“Yes, I’m so sorry. I was remembering something I needed,” you said with a forced chuckle. The florist smiled, though he seemed a little unsure. You turned back to the flower, petal still gently settled between your fingers. “I’ll take this, while I’m here,” you said as you cleared your throat, gently picking up the small white bucket and giving it to the florist to ring up. 

“Ah, Ruellia caroliniensis. But it’s better known as Carolina Wild Petunia. A good choice. Pick it for any reason? I ask everybody that,” he asked, making meaningless small talk. Your eyes stayed focused on the waving petals of the plant as it was gently jostled around. 

“It just reminded me of someone I knew, I guess,” he smiled thoughtfully and nodded with a soft hum of acknowledgment before he asked you for cash or charge. You picked charge which resulted in you digging through your purse for your card. 

“Oh my god! y/n! A shrill voice called when you weren’t looking and just as you pulled out your debit card. You gave the florist you’re card before turning to look who it might be only to have the Misty Quigley herself approaching you with the wide smile and outstretched arms that you felt you had to reciprocate. She squeezed you quite tight and when she let go her hands remained at your side for a moment as she seemed to look at you in awe.

“Well, what the heck are you doing here?” she asked tilting her head with that smile still plastered across her lips till she gasped “Oh! Are you looking for Nat too?” you furrowed your brow and frowned. 

“What? No, I’m-”

“Uh, mam, you’re purchase?” the florist interrupted. You turned from Misty to grab your new belonging, which he had been so kind and bagged for you as well as outstretching your card back to you. 

“Yes, thank you so much! I truly appreciate it!” you said as chipperly as you could before ushering Misty out of the man’s stall and towards a clearing. “What, what are you talking about with Natalie?”

“She got kidnapped!” the blond exclaimed, adjusting her glasses. “She was taken from the motel she was staying in back home and we’re here to find her,” she blabbered on. 

“Hold on, when did Nat get out of rehab and who is we?”

“I dunno, a few weeks ago I think? So much had been going on and it's been hard to keep track and ‘we’ is me and Walter,” you were still confused about the situation and about to ask who Walter was when the man himself showed up. He’d be trailing behind Misty for some time, just casually in the background. He was so average you hadn’t even noticed him. The man waved and offered a smile. You tentatively returned the wave but still seemed confused. 

“I’m not here for Natalie. I didn’t hear about that at all. No, I’m looking for Lottie,” you said rather bluntly. Misty frowned and it was now her turn to be confused. 

“Lottie? But she’s been in Switzerland for years-” 

“Well I thought that too will I saw this,” you whispered, hissing through your teeth as you frantically pulled out your phone and the screenshot you’d taken of the farmers market Instagram post, zooming in on Lottie and shoving the device into her hands.

“No, that can’t be her,” 

“It is. I just- it’s not a great angle but I know it’s her,” you insisted. Misty began to scan the photo curiously, zooming back out when she let out a dramatic gasp and began excitedly smacking at your arm. 

“Purple people!” you yelled. “Purple people!” she repeated it to Walter this time, which summoned him to rush over and huddle around your phone.

“The purple people took Natalie!” she explained with far too much excitement for your liking. 

“Could they have taken Lottie,” Misty shrugged. 

“I dunno, maybe. But only one way to find out!” She shoved your phone back in your hand and began aggressively powerwalking away with Walter tight on her heels. You hesitated momentarily before shutting your phone off and shoving it into your purse, hustling after them. 

“Wait! Do you know where to go?”

“Yes! Of course! We found out from the other stalls,” she called back. “Get in your car and follow us!” she sounded far too excited for this whole ordeal, but what other options did you have to find Lottie? You ran back to your car, got in, and started with heavy breath ready to take the next step on this crazy adventure you found yourself on. 

-💚-

After quite a bit of driving, they pulled off into a bed and breakfast parking lot and parked. You parked beside them and got out with a frustrated expression. 

“We're not going tonight.” Misty rolled her eyes and she pulled her suitcase out of the trunk of what you assumed was Walter’s car. 

“Someone,” she was heavily implying someone to be Walter, especially with the annoyed, flat-mouthed looks he gave him “wanted to wait till morning because he thinks the cult will expect us at night,” you gave her a look that asked “really” and Misty threw up a hand, shaking her head as she grabbed onto her luggage. 

“I know! Trust me, I know, but captain’s orders,” she huffed as she followed Walter into the B&B. You paused, letting out an exasperated sigh before going to grab your duffle back and your plant. You hear Misty muttering about not using her real name as she and Walter get a room. 

“And it's just for one room, right?” the concierge asked. There was an irritatingly comedic back and forth of yes, and no, then both of them settled on no, two rooms would be fine. 

“And, um, you can put mine under the name Lady Mallowan,” Misty gave herself a name straight out of Clue or a shitty romance novel and you couldn’t help rolling your eyes. 

“Seventeen and eighteen. Up the stairs to the right,” then went back and forth with thank yous as they clumsily took their keys, then started deliberating about luggage when Walter offered to take the suitcase off of Misty’s hands. 

“Just one room under y/n l/n is fine, please,” you said simply. You saw Misty and her new boyfriend exchange an appalling look and you had to refrain from laughing. 

“Room nineteen,” 

“That’s great, thanks” You dropped your things upon entry, but gently placed your plant in its bed on the nightstand before collapsing on your bed with a long sigh. Of course, you'd need to get up and change, but for now, lying on your back in a bed that wasn’t yours was all you could feel like doing. That is till you got up from said bed and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a small paper cup of water that you set on the nightstand as you sat on the edge of the bed. You tentatively opened the bag that held your plant and took it out, setting it on the stand to be out and in the fresh air. You gave it a light drink from the cup before you returned to the bathroom for a shower. 

-💚-

You were woken by Misty’s knock at you’re door bright and early at seven-thirty and back on the road by eight after grabbing complimentary breakfast to go. It was a rather long drive to wherever you were going, but you once again found ways to fill the time. That is till Walter took a screeching u-turn that almost caused a car crash on a winding, wet wooded road, but that was a conversation for later. You pulled up beside them and followed as they now stood excitedly outside a green gate that happened to have a matching bee on it. All you carried with you was your tote bag with your plant tucked away inside. Why you felt the need to bring it, you weren't sure, but it felt necessary. 

“The bee is where the purple people are!” Misty insistently explained.

“Ok, do we need to call them ‘the purple people” 

“Well, yes, but that's only till we get a better name for them. But anyway,” without another word of it, Misty ducked under the gate herself and began walking up the road. 

“Ok, we’re getting hit by a car if we do that-” you started but she shook her head. 

“It'll be fine. It looks decently short,”

“Well what about my car?” you urged. 

“Just lock it! Who’s pulling over in the rain to rob an unattended car out here?” you sighed with exasperation. 

“I dunno, maybe people from the cult we’re actively visiting,” you mumbled to yourself. 

“What was that!” 

“Nothing!” you huffed, following after Misty and now Walter, who had started moving shortly after her. She’d been right though. It was a rather short walk with no cars. You found yourself in what looked like a parking lot in the middle of the woods blocking off yet another road with an even larger fence in front of it. Misty and Walter were actively messing with an intercom system that seemed to have worked as they excitedly returned to your side. 

“Alright, so the man on the other end, I think his name was Jack or Jackson- anyway, he’s getting Natalie and she's coming to meet us here,”

“But what about Lottie?” Misty adjusted her glasses and folded her arms with a shrug. 

“I thought we could have Natalie confirm that, because we know she’s in there-”

“You don’t believe me,” you interrupted as she began trailing off.

“Well, we do not want to be making outlandish accusations to strangers, I mean-” she got easily distracted by the sound of someone walking down the pebbled path.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Nataline started with heavy irritation. 

“Oh, thank God you're safe,” Misty would have hugged her by now had the gate not been in her way.

“Safe? What are you talking about?” her attention turned to you and her eyes widened with further confusion “Hi, y/n,” she added tentatively. You awkwardly waved as she gave you a nod. 

“And who the fսck is this?” she gestured to Walter now. 

“Walter,” he simply introduced himself with a wave and a light chuckle before going on. “I've heard nothing but wonderful things about you” Natalie scrunched her nose, clearly not caring all that much about what impression Misty had given him of her upon first meeting. 

 “We're here to rescue you!” Misty eagerly interjected again. “I mean, you-you were kidnapped, right?”

“No. Uh, yes, technically I was, but it's no big deal, okay?” the notion that Natalie’s kidnapping wasnt that big of a deal was bewildering to Misty as seen on her face, but honestly you understood her reaction. 

“Lottie sent some people for me, but I'm not being held against my will,” she muttered, twisting her neck as she spoke. “Well, not anymore” It was now your turn to perk up. 

“I'm sorry, Lottie?”

“I told you she was here,” you hissed through your teeth at Misty, moving closer to the fencing. 

“Wait- as in Lottie? Lottie, who was committed to a mental institution in Switzerland? That Lottie?”

“Yes, Misty, that's the one,” Natalie turned to you once more “I'm assuming you had your theories or whatever?”

“Oh, I’m not here with them-” you paused. “Ok, originally I was coming here all on my own, but we ran into each other, and well,” from there you gave up.  

“Wait, Natalie, Natalie!” Misty derailed the conversation once again. “​​You're gonna have to elaborate, 

“Look, she runs a place here, and she's helping me reflect or whatever. So, you and your Hardy Boy can go home,” she looked Walter up and down again about Hardy Boy.

“But…”

“I'm doing a fսcking thing here, Misty. I don't need you getting in my way,” she’d lost patience with the blonde’s interruptions and persistence and in all honestly, you felt bad for her given how she shrank back at the raised tone. But she quickly toughened back up, turned on her heels, and marched back in the direction you'd come. 

“She seems nice,” Walter tried to lighten the mood. Natalie sighed with either exhaustion or irritation, watching them go before her eyes drifted to you, still standing in front of her. “You’re not done too?”

“Natalie, I need to see her,” she let out a scoffish chuckle and sighed through her nose. 

“Oh, I’m sure you do,” 

“I’m serious, Natalie,”

“Oh no, I can tell you are, don’t worry. Just- just give me a minute, alright. Let me ask my guy,” she began to turn but waited for you to nod before actually leaving. You stood still, turning to check your surroundings once more just to be as sure as possible. Natalie returned quite quickly with a man behind her. She shrugged, seeming surprised by the verdict herself as the gate’s electric lock began to unlatch letting you in. 

“Uh, my car is still parked with some of my things,” Natalie was already shaking her head. 

“We can have someone come and retrieve it all later,” Natalie’s companion started ad Natalie turned, already heading up the hill for a second time. 

“But you're not gonna need it!” she yelled behind her. Due to her eagerness to leave the scene, you were left walking beside the strange man who let you in. 

“So, I'm assuming you’re Jack or…” you drawled off but he chuckled, appreciating your intention. 

“Jeferson,” he cleared. 

“Right, ok. Nice to meet you,” you nodded, your hands clutching quite tight to the straps of your tote bag. “Look, I don’t mean to sound rude, but I’m only here to see Lottie not join your… well join whatever you're up to,” he laughed again and nodded. 

“Don’t worry. She knows you're here,” a shive rushed down your spine as you realized what was happening. “I’m instructed to take her to you, actually,” 

“Oh. wow, that’s just great. Yeah, great,” you whispered to yourself as you bit your lip, questioning if this was going to be a good idea after all. When you looked up again, taking a deep breath you were met with quite a beautiful scene before you. It was a nice, well-organized camp on a lake with cabins and what you assumed were social areas all around and throughout the woods. You paused for a moment to take it in and wonder, did Lottie make all of this? 

“Charlotte is waiting this way, Ms. l/n,” Jeferson interrupted your wonderings. 

“Mhm, I’m coming,” you had to manually tell your feet to move before you could follow him to the separate cabin that must be Lottie’s. He had already walked up the stairs by the time you approached the porch, taking a moment to appreciate its handiwork before trudging up the creaking wood. Jefferson opened the door but didn’t enter, only gesturing for you to go in. 

“Charlotte will be here as soon as she can step away,” he explained as you cautiously walked in. You nodded, turning around to give him your thanks but he was already shutting the door, leaving you to your own devices. For a moment you stood completely still, watching the wooden door anticipating her walking in at any second, but after a few seconds of stillness, your foot began bouncing with building anxiety squeezing at your chest. 

“Shit,” you hissed, turning to look around your surroundings and find something to help you calm down. You put your bag on the table, but take the time to take the plant out and set it beside your bag. You rubbed your sweating palms on your pants and began to wander around the single room you found yourself in. Her main space was split into a small lounge-ish office space with a kitchen on the other half. 

You assumed the bathroom and her bedroom were down in the back of the cabin and with a craning of your neck you could see in one of the rooms but you decided it best to leave that be. Wandering around the office space you ran your fingertips over the edge of her desk. You peaked over the edge, curiosity winning momentarily before you restrained yourself, instead turning to the art hung on her wall featuring deer and other wilderness things before resigning yourself to the couch facing her desk. 

You flopped down rather unceremoniously but couldn't help sitting stiff, hunched forward with your knee bouncing in anticipation. Your eyes trained on her desk again, which was mostly bare of anything decor-like other than the two small picture frames. You forced yourself to look away till your nerves kicked in again and you were back up and taking the large one into your hands. It featured a classic team photo of the soccer team back in high school, but earlier on during your sophomore year. 

You chuckled lightly scanning over the baby faces your old friends used to have. Having something familiar to look at was relaxing, you decided. Maybe not the most morally correct thing, but this was an exceptional situation. So, you moved on to the small one, thinking none of it till she got a look and your heart dropped again. Pressed pristinely against the glass was an all too familiar flower, nearly identical to the one you'd been carrying for the past day and a half. Only this one had far more wear to it, clearly showing its age. It had faded in color over time, taking on hues of parchment brown rather than the vibrant purples you’d been familiar with. You traced over the shapes of the petals, likely dry and dusty to the touch by now over its safety net of glass. That is till you heard the carbon door abruptly shut.

And oh, she was perfect. She was sickeningly, stunningly perfect but all you could do was freeze where you stood, grip tightening around the small wooden frame in your clasp out of fear you might drop it if you didn’t squeeze tight. And she stood just as stunned at you. Age had encompassed her face all this time, but it was still her face. The one you had ingrained in your mind, so much more detailed than any photograph. You felt your chin begin to quiver.  

“Please tell me you didn't hold on to that all these years" You had to force it out with your breath ad your brow bowed with the strain of keeping it together. And then she laughed. She laughed her laugh, now blossoming with the beautiful thing that is age, just as every other part of her was. She moved toward you as though she was floating. She took her caftan off so smoothly it was like the breeze itself removed it for her. And before anything else, she took the frame from your hands, fingertips brushing together only for a moment. She returned it to its place before shakily turning back to you, tears drizzling from her eyes as she smiled.

“How could I not,” she murmured with a laugh full of exasperated joy as though she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her hands hovered over your arms as though she feared touching you would break the illusion, but with the way your lip trembled and tears rolled from your eyes as you held back a strangled sob she couldn’t refrain herself. It all felt so new and old all at once and oh, how overwhelming she was, her hands cupped at your face, thumbs stroking at your tears as you let it all go, sopping into her. 

Just as she had years before she murmured sweet nothing promising that you were safe and you were here, but not only you. After so much time she needed the reassurance of reality just as much. She pulled you in, just as before and your nose found its rightful place in the curve of her neck as her cheek found your scalp. She held you up and close as your knees began to shake and you had to grip onto her shoulder blades for what felt like dear life. You needed to feel her to truly know that she was here, she was real and she was yours, as were you.

[tryingtofindava]

-ˋˏ [RUL3SSS!] ˎˊ

┌─────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─────┐

What I Will and will NOT write!!!

✎I WILL write for:

Romantic, Platonic, angst, comfort, fluff, gore, NSFW,

SFW, Headcanons and one-shots.

And I only write for Fem readers & gn readers!! (soz)

✎𝗜 will 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿:

p£d0philia, r4p£, ANY proships!! And ANY

disgusting and gross fetish.

piss kink (can’t believe I had to add this lol)

(Anyone who asks otherwise will be blocked<3)

✎QUICK MENTION!!

I work on asks in the order I receive them, and I’m sorry

If it takes awhile for me to get to yours :)

I also take requests to make C.ai bots :3 My account is d34d_g1rl_w4lk1ng and here are some of the BOTS I’ve made!!!

ALSOOOO IF YOU’RE GONNA REQUEST AS A ANON PLS

TRY AND NOT USE EMOJIS THAT HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALR

THANK U!!

└───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────┘

FANDOMS I WRITE FOR!!

Creepypasta (examples: Jeff the Killer, Eyeless Jack, BEN Drowned, Jane the Killer, Nina the Killer, ‘Ticci’ Toby, X-Virus, Kate the Chaser, Clockwork, Homicidal Liu.)

Marble Hornets (examples: Tim Wright/Masky, Brian Thomas/Hoodie, Jay Merrick/Skully, Jessica Locke, Alex Kralie.)

Five Nights at Freddy’s (examples: Michael Afton, Michael Schmidt, Vanessa. and I do any other characters, but they are STRICTLY platonic!)

Life is strange (examples: Max Caulfield, Chloe Price, Rachel Amber.)

School Bus Graveyard (examples: Ashlyn, Aiden, Ben, Taylor, Tyler, Logan.)

The Last of Us (examples: Ellie & Dina.)

Yellowjackets (examples: Shauna Shipman, Tai Turner, Natalie Scatorccio, Misty Quigley, Lottie Matthews, Van Palmer, Melissa’ Mari Ibarra, Jackie Taylor, Travis Martinez.)

South Park (examples: Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, Wendy. PLATONIC ONLY!)

Sally Face (examples: Sal Fisher, Ashley Campbell.)

Mouthwashing (examples: Curly, Anya, Daisuke.)

Stranger Things (examples: Eleven Jane Hopper, Mike Wheeler, Will Byers, Max Mayfield, Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington.)

I Am Not Okay With This (examples: Sydney Novak, Stanley Barber, Dina Bryant.)

End Of The Fucking World (examples: James & Alyssa)

IT (examples: Beverly Marsh, Richie Tozier, Eddie Kasprak, Bill D enbrough, Stanley Uris. PLATONIC ONLY)

Doki Doki Literature Club (Yuri, Monica, Sayori, Natsuki.)

Mushroom Oasis (Mycheal obvs.)

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•

if you have any questions feel free to as them in the ask box<3

AND A REMINDER THAT IM DISLEXIC AF SO IM SO SORRY FOR POOR GRAMER!! ^_^

[allisluv]

What characters do you write

hi lovely!! here you go! if you have any more questions feel free to ask me!

characters i will write blurbs/oneshots/fics etc for:

the hunger games: annie cresta, finnick odair, peeta mellark, katniss everdeen, johanna mason, lucy gray baird, gloss, cashmere, enobaria, sejanus plinth and possibly young!haymitch with the right prompt.

criminal minds: emily prentiss, derek morgan, aaron hotchner, elle greenaway, jennifer jareu, spencer reid, penelope garcia

yellowjackets: travis martinez, nat scattorcio, lottie matthews, jackie taylor.

daisy jones and the six: daisy jones, billy dunne, eddie roundtree, camila dunne, graham dunne, warren rojas, karen sirko.

teen wolf: allison argent, scott mccall, isaac lahey, lydia martin, malia hale/tate.

the boys of tommen: johnny kavanagh, joey lynch, shannon lynch, aoife molloy, katie wilmont, gerard gibson.

misc: jake “hangman” seresin, tyler owens, casey novak.

all of my ocs and reader personas.

**please note that i am open to discussing headcanons/thoughts for every character in these fandoms! these are just who i prefer to write for, however with the right prompt i can see what i can do!!

what i tend to write:

fem!reader x character

gn!reader x character

character x character

hurt/comfort.

angst.

smut.

fluff.

what i won't write:

incest.

graphic self harm.

rape/non-con/dub-con.

paedophilia.

abuse.

*please note that im open to writing certain topics such as the after-math of self harm or assault but these will in no way be graphic at all and will only focus on the comfort/healing aspect of things.

*if you're not sure whether or not something falls under that category, just ask anyway! the worst i will do is say no!

anon emojis:

🪐🌺🌞🕸🫀💜☀️🫐🪥🐬 🟡🐁🌸💙🦇💛🐱🍓⚜️🦊🫥🌊☘️🐈‍⬛🍒🥐🎸🐕‍🦺🌪️🦌

*if your emoji is missing please let me know!!