#I do feel bad for neglecting best girl moon

[the-beasts-have-arrived]

It might be too late but I’m about to do some serious wings of fire / qinter posting, so if you don’t want to see that make sure to block the tag “wings of fire” or “wof”

[rejectedfables]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Character: Draco Malfoy (HP) Why I love them: I don't. I love the version of him I frankensteined together from fics I read/wrote as an undiagnosed autistic preteen who wished I knew how to be meaner, and was hopelessly demisexually gay for a brunette with glasses.

Character: Uzumaki Naruto (Naruto) Why I love them: Emotionally neglected ADHD powerhouse who thinks "what do 600 hot girls look like? Me with titties and pigtails 600 times obviously" followed by "what do 600 hot boys look like? All my male friends with bedroom eyes OBVIOUSLY" and somehow hasn't figured out he's into dudes and is probably genderfluid. The Haku and Zabuza arc came SO close to "child soldier figures out that making children into soldiers is bad, actually, and resolves to create a better society where fewer people needlessly suffer" but then I think the author got old and forgot his own trajectory in favor of endless spectacle creep and, idk, something about the moon crushing Konoha or whatever. I lost interest in the story, but not the BOY. Also his relentless fixation with that dark haired cool guy he kissed one time makes every other character feel awkward, and I relate to that.

Character: Urameshi Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho) Why I love them: LOVE me a guy who even HEAVEN writes off as an irredeemable asshole surprising everyone with an act of selflessness. Love me an asshole who dedicates his life to love and friendship. Yusuke's narrative is basically "Obviously all yokai are evil. Wait, some aren't (some of my best friends are yokai)? Wait, most aren't (I actually really enjoy the yokai world/community)? Wait, I'M a yokai? (THAT'S why I am the way I am, and actually that's not evil it's just different)??? So there's evil humans AND evil yokai but neither are inherently bad, MOST are just regular people on both sides, and both are worth protecting" and anyway this is a neurodivergent and queer allegory to me, which slaps severely.

Character: Shi Qingxuan (Heaven Official's Blessing) Why I love them: Gender

Character: Luke Fon Fabre (Tales of the Abyss) Why I love them: Nobody's doing character growth like this little shit. An icon. It takes like 30 hours of gameplay for him to become likable and when he does it's somehow genuinely worth it.

Character: Changheng (Love Between Fairy and Devil) Why I love them: (I'm picking only one character per story, which is the only reason Xiao Lanhua and Dongfang Qingcang aren't also on this list.) You're telling me the God of War's narrative is a "tragic princess, betrothed since childhood, can't escape her family's expectations, constantly has to put everyone else above herself, until finally she snaps" story blended with "man who has been forced to live in war, falls for the first person who acknowledges that he, too, needs protection, ultimately rejects the violence he's been forced to endure and enact in favor of pursuing peace" and I'm what? NOT supposed to go insane? Also his nose freckle gives me heart palpitations.

Character: Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars, specifically season 1) Why I love them: What an excellent example of a badly coping shithead jerk fuckup boy who would be SO soft in any context where he's not under constant threat. Something about his mouth-breathing under duress compels me.

Character: Kyo (Fruits Basket) Why I love them: Badly coping under duress, the entire system is stacked against him, anger management issues and the snatched waist of a 90's manga twink. What can I say, a feral cat finding stability and love gets me every time.

Character: Xue Yang (MDZS) Why I love them: Irredeemable asshole feral cat ass man, coping badly at all times with all things but holding it together with a winning personality (gratuitous violence and bad jokes). Falls SO hard for the first person to show him love and kindness, becomes SO soft when not under threat for the first time ever, and then fucks up SO badly he ruins his whole fucking life. Spends more time trying to get back what he lost than he actually HAD what he lost. He's irredeemable. He's irredeemable. He makes apple rabbits for A Qing because she's sad. He's irredeemable. He doesn't pull a weapon on Xingchen even when Xingchen has already stabbed him and he's renowned for violence and revenge. He's irredeemable. I starting writing a post in his defense and hit the character limit halfway through my 'notes to flesh out later' bullet pointed list. He's irredeemable?? Xiao Xingchen could, though, is all I'm saying. The deeper you look into his actions the more humanity there is to find. I'm rotating every single thing about him in my mind like a rotisserie chicken.

Character: Chu Wanning (ERHA) Why I love them: He's hopelessly demisexually gay for literally just one guy. His story is gratuitously tragic but with a happy ending. Autistic Yearning incarnate. He's a burnt out husk of a blushing virgin, and the horniest person alive. Would readily die for his convictions, but won't ask for help. Prettiest wife anyone could ever wish for, with a strong masculine jaw. Total knockout gorgeous with body dysmorphia. Hyper competent with zero emotional intelligence. Widely respected and beloved with intense self loathing. He's never not masking. He's an atticked wife, he's a bossy husband, he's a piece of wood. He's 45. He's 6. He's 20. He's 32. He is catnip for me.

[echidna-auxiliatrix]

Two questions: 1.) Do you have more than one blog? 2.) Can you recommend any good nge analysis and fandom blogs to follow?

I've had this account since the Obama administration and since before SCOTUS heard the Obergefell case...naturally, I have several side blogs. Five, to be exact, but only three of them are used with any amount of regularity.

So, I'm not really tuned into the Eva fandom these days. Years of seeing rancid takes on a daily basis (and having been treated rather poorly by this fanbase at times) have lessened my enthusiasm for engaging with other fans, as you might imagine! There's a reason why most eva analysts post consistently for short periods of time and then disappear. My ideas on the show are also pretty specific and set in stone, so I don't have much of a desire to seek out new theories. I feel like I've seen it all, to be honest.

Tumblr users baldmisato1 and qmisato are definitely to go-tos, though they're both inactive. asuka--langley--soryu and reivelation are also great blogs. If you, for whatever reason, care about Kaworu, then adamworu is a good blog for that. My friend, blisseylesbian, has written some insightful posts about Ritsuko and Ritsumaya! Avoid Evageeks and r/evangelion. In fact, if the fandom is dominated by men (as is the case for Eva), then avoid the fandom subreddit.

Regarding Utena, empty movement is a truly wonderful archive of analysis essays, some of which predate the new millennium. We really need something like this in the Eva fandom. The palace perspectives essays are also a must read (if you can find them! OP has deactivated, as best as I can tell), though the OP gets some minor factual details wrong (it does, in fact, rain more than twice in the show).

Regarding Soul Eater, that fandom suffers from the typical shonen fandom BS, with the girl protagonist being neglected in favor of Death the Kid, Soul, and my least favorite anime boy (Black*Star). When Maka is centered, it's largely within the dreadful context of SoMa. People are also rather unaware of the lack of thematic cohesiveness in the manga relative to the anime, which makes discussion insufferable. Tumblr user soul-dwelling is the best SE blog, from what I've seen.

Sailor Moon probably has the best fandom of all my SpIns...and that's probably owing to the fact that SM makes no attempt to say anything deep. r/sailormoon is generally delightful.

What to say about Homestuck...I still love Homestuck, but the release of the epilogues kickstarted a series of bad events that has left the fandom inhospitable for me personally. Kanaya my beloved <3 I have no idea who's writing good Homestuck meta these days. In ye olde 2017, there was a Tumblr user named swamp-wizard who wrote some very good posts, but he's long since deactivated.

Also check out my AMVs, which are linked in my carrd. Not analysis but they're good :)

[larnax]

ok i have. i have more disgaea thoughts. my girl fuka what did they do to you

ok so the thing abt d4 is that overall its story is quite fun, it's peak disgaea because it is wacky in a way where its absurdly exaggerated literal events are used to represent emotional conflicts ie a character's dad shutting himself away in his lab for her entire childhood who reveals it was to fulfill her dream of taking over the world by developing machines that she can command to take over the world as an allegory for a dad doing his best to provide for his kids at the expense of being there for his kids so they grow up without feeling like he loves them, and it legitimately is the only story i think really intertwines serious and batshit to make "WE HAVE TO POWER THE MECH WITH LOVE SO IT CAN STOP THE MOON FROM CRASHING TO EARTH, QUICK, PRAY TO YOUR PARTNER BECAUSE WHILE YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN GOD YOU HAVE FAITH IN HIM!" instead of in d1 having the story be wacky with occasional stops to tell a standard story with normal emotional stakes and etna is there to tell jokes, or from d5 onwards basically just being standard fantasy stories with normal emotional stakes but theres wacky backgrounds.

the actual main story of d4 is all bangers, there are a lot of great heels to keep the story interesting and although they all come around to val in the end they don't all become his bff which avoids the d7 problem of "you made a new guy up just so we would have anyone to fight and nobody we do recruit puts up an interesting struggle and therefore none of us have an interesting reason we're still here beyond inertia". i do wish artina got to do more stuff i think she's way too fun a character who is way too important in the story to be relegated to third wheel as often as she is, but to fix that i would just give her most of axel's stuff. she becomes president and then is absent for the moon episode on intel that she'll meet "someone she doesn't wanna see" and then when she radios in for the roll call you have a little joke about flonne being that person.

usually i really like flonne being a straightforward heel in her adult appearances. shes the whitest woman in existence and shes very nasty when she thinks she's doing the right thing, which is always. i support women's wrongs and her stealing billions from the netherworld(which celestia already exploits in a lot of ways/sometimes just decides to destroy) to fuck around with by forcing an underling who actively does not want to do it to shake down random civilians and public infrastructure, all to fund her stupid ass mech shaped like her who's powered by prayer? thats horrible! shes so nasty! it's really funny and them being forced to deal with That being their only way to keep fenrich from having the most important thing in his life(after val) fucking exploded leads to one of the reasons they should have won that fucking noncanon gayest ships tournament FUCK those community bitches.

HOWEVER. the fuka dlc is so bad. or let me rephrase: the fuka dlc is transcendantly good until the ending at which point it becomes the worst thing that happens in disgaea 4.

bc ok ok ok. so fuka is dead. that's her story, after a childhood of being neglected by her always busy dad she breaks into his lab and finds his evil scientist lair full of mutant constructs, one of whom kills her. she doesn't accept that she's dead because she's only 14 and her life hasn't even started yet and on top of that she's been sent to hell despite being a normal ass 14 year old whos biggest crime is being a teenager. so she deals with it by denying it and deluding herself into believing that this is all a dream and someday she'll wake up in a happy life she's just starting and she won't have to confront the terrible fate she met with. so the solution is obvious, right?

after the main story resolves and fuka has a group of friends and caretakers who love her and she's patched things up with her dad, fuka needs to accept that she's dead. disgaea uses a reincarnation system as a core part of the series mythology and gameplay. reincarnation is good and necessary. fuka, eventually, needs to let go, and stop haunting the world she did get cheated out of a life in.

so in the dlc, her friends and family help her. val puts her through the toughest puzzle course he can because he's her teacher and he wants her to prove that she's strong and resourceful and capable, and she does! she passes all his tests and he gives her his formal blessing. then her secondary father figure, her bio dad, finally delivers on his promise to help her take over the world, they like. rent out a city and give her a bunch of crazy machines to go wild on with the power she's worked so hard for and the allies she's found so much support in, including her little sister who she only recently got to meet and connect with during the main story and her surrogate reluctant little brother, The Grim Reaper, who is the one guiding her through the mechanics of reincarnation in the first place as a sign of his own personal growth that he's now mature enough to handle this difficult case.

and it works! fuka accepts it! she accepts, sadly, that she's dead, and she should move on. she'll lose this life, which is sad! they're all sad about it! but it's okay. and then-- it's an ending, right?

it's going to be an ending, you think. disgaea has a bunch of specific endings. there's one for completing a single optional stage in d1. it would make perfect sense narratively and gameplay wise to have an ending with fuka reincarnating, then just. introduce a bill to resummon fuka from an alternate dimension or time travel shenanigans or literally whatever other funny joake you can think of this is a comedy series and doing it this way doesn't undercut the emotional part While Its Happening. because if that happened itd be Bad.

enter flonne. because it is not an ending. flonne barrels through the fourth wall at the last second and, dead vfucking serious, CONDEMNS FUKA TO ETERNAL HELL WITH NO CHANCE OF REINCARNATION because she "tried to take over the world" by fighting in a stage consisting of like three blocks her dad set up for her where no civilians were even present. also bc shes the ruler of heaven this is the character who condemned her to hell originally when she was FOURTEEN because when she was six she wanted to take over the world.

which is a baller heel move and i would be so so so so into it IF she was a boss fight. if they had to defeat her before she was forced to reluctantly give fuka her very well-deserved reincarnation. but, uh, nope, last minute twist, Moving On Is Bad Actually and fuka is still condemned to eternal hell. fuck you. sure its technically a sentence that lets her spend time with her besties forever but like. at what cost. flonne only works as a heel if the other characters clash with her instead of valvatorez and emizel of all fucking people being like Woof so glad we don't have to say goodbye, i guess our entire characters and the things we find important and the reasons we were doing this do not matter and all that shit about caring about fuka and wanting her to find peace was Bullshit. have fun being 14 for the rest of your life, Dumbass!

← literally what its like to be 14 years old

[justwonder113]

Halu! Saw your post, and I'm looking forward for your future works. Can I request a Dad! haikyuu scenarios? Cause I'm really into that. When he and his pregnant s/o, went to the hospital for feral ultrasound. And the obstetricians revealed there’s 3 heartbeats. Which mean, they are having triplets. I wanna know their reactions so bad 😂 When I think of triplets, I'm thinking those character who most probably have strong genes. (Bokuto, Osamu, Atsumu and maybe, Ushijima?)

Oh my god this is such an adorable scenario. Ngl I keep reminding myself that I'm too young to have kids now (not that I have a bf or anything lol). Thank you very much for requesting, I really hope you will like it.

Hearing that you're going to have triplets

includes: Bokuto Koutaro, Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu and Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Bokuto Koutaro

Honestly you were so thankful that you had Bokuto with you, he was the most amazing partner you could ask for. Always supportive and kind, never failing to make you feel deeply appreciated and loved.

Especially since he found out you were pregnant. The man was over the moon! You hadn't even finished the sentence he already had you in his arms spinning you around while proclaiming how happy he was.  You felt silly that you were even worried about his reaction. You had never seen him more happy. 

You just knew he would be the most amazing father.

He was always with you and helped you with whatever he could, say goodbye to even holding stuff. Cleaning and sometimes even cooking were immediately off your shoulders. And whenever you tried to tell him that you were more than capable of doing stuff he immediately shushed you saying that he was more than happy to help.

 He didn't know much about pregnancy, tho he read everything with you and listened to you whenever you explained things to him, he just wanted to support you.

I see that he would also change his diet for you. It's important for pregnant women to have a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy. So when he saw that you tried to cut off junk food and other unhealthy food he immediately gave up on them too. If you stopped drinking coffee he would stop to, everything to support you.

When you told him that you had to go to ultrasound to make sure everything was right he immediately called and took a day off. You were so thankful for it, you told him that you could go alone but honestly you were terrified, this was your first pregnancy. You read almost everything and asked so many questions too and did everything you were told, but you were still beyond terrified on what the doctor would say, so having him around was really a big deal.

Especially when you noticed slight furrow on doctor's face. Your grip immediately tightened around his hand. Your mind immediately went to most terrible stuff in seconds, it didn't even cross your mind that you might be having triplets. You wanted to ask what was happening, but you didn't have courage, thankfully Bokuto got the clue and asked what was going on." I had to make sure, congratulations, you will be having triplets, I can hear three completely healthy heartbeats." The doctor beamed at you." Three heartbeats... Triplets..., oh my god Kou we're having triplets!" you couldn't believe your ears, heck you didn't even know what you were even feeling. You were thrilled yes but at the same time... Being mother of one kid seemed already hard, but triplets? Would you do a good job? What about Kou? Was he happy with the news?

You returned to reality after you felt two strong arms wrap around you tightly. Bokuto was beaming like crazy." Oh my god Y/N! We're having triplets!" He cheered loudly, startling both you and the doctor. "That's so amazing! We would have like half of a volleyball team! That's so cool! I never even thought we could have triplets, thank you so much, you really make me happiest!" He kept rambling on and on, pressing millions of kisses on top of your head. You never even realized when you started crying… "You're happy?" You asked quietly, almost a whisper."I'm beyond thrilled baby, this is going to be awesome! Don't worry about anything, we're going to do great you hear me!" He immediately assured you and planted another kiss on your head making you giggle as well. He was right as long you had each other you were not afraid of anything. You would do amazing!

Osamu Miya

I feel like he would be the most amazing husband. Really doting and caring.

Would also really try to help you with everything he could. Both around the house and with whatever you needed. Just imagine being able to taste Samu's cooking every day. (And I just know he would try and come up with new recipes just so he would keep things interesting for you, like you hate some food, and it's hella healthy and is good for pregnancy, you bet your butt he would try and come up with a recipe, so you could eat it that way and not gag. Alsosatisfying your cravings with his cooking would be like a challenge for him, he would be excited to try out new things.)

I think that after you told him the news that you were pregnant he knew that he had to change things. Like he already felt bad when he worked all this long days at his restaurant leading to sometimes neglecting you. He was thinking to hire an assistant, but was reluctant because he didn't think they would do as good of a job as him. But when you told him the news all the hesitation went through the window. Like hell, he was going to leave you alone, especially now that you were pregnant.

You were glad you could spend more time with your husband still you felt guilty because you knew how much his restaurant meant to him, and sometimes you couldn't help but think you were interfering with it. Osamu reassured you million times that it definitely wasn't like that and that he was beyond happy that you were going to be parents even thought you weren't planning it just yet. He never failed to show you how appreciated and loved you were but the thoughts still lingered.

When doctor told you the news you felt your breath hitch. Osamu's grip on your hand tightened. You wanted to look at him for reactions, but you couldn't force yourself. 

You were terrified. What if he wasn't happy, what if he didn't want so many children. Your mind felt like a thread mill, you didn't even notice when the doctor left the room to give you two few minutes. You had your chaos going on in your brain. What if...

your chain of thoughts were interrupted when you felt the pair of lips clash against yours. You let out a startled  noise but returned it. Osamu cupped your cheeks, and rested his forehead against yours.

"Sorry for startling you love."He said and pinched your cheek playfully, giving you a heartfelt smile. "I'm so happy, I don't know what to say." He gave you another peck making you smile. "Three kids! This is going to be amazing love! And I bet your cute butt Tsumu's going to be so jealous!" He snickered and planted yet another kiss on our face. "You have no idea how happy you make me! You're the most amazing thing that has happend to me." The last comment made you crack and you let out all your emotions. Motherhood really scared you especially now that you knew you were going to become a mother of three. But still, you have never felt happier. What more could you ask for? You had the most loving husband and you would have three most amazing children.

"Thank you Samu..." You couldn't even stop your tears now, but you were grinning from ear to ear and Samu was returning the smile.

"No, thank you Y/n. Thank you for being in my life! You're everything I could ever ask for and so much more more. I know you're scared and so am I but we're going to do amazing you got me? Don’t worry your pretty head about anything"  He reassured, you nodded and kissed him passionately, your hands rubbing away his tears. "That's my girl. Come on let's rub it in on Tsumu's face!" He grinned mischievously, making you giggle. 

 He was right you two were going to do amazing, you just couldn't help but wait until you could hold your kiddos in your hands.

Atsumu Miya

If you thought that Atsumu was clingy before you should have seen him now that he heard you were pregnant. He was basically glued to your side.

Not gonna lie the man probably cried when he heard that you were pregnant. And you felt silly that you were worried about his reaction to begin with.

He would try his best to help you with everything, but for the love of god don't let him near the kitchen. (I think out of these four characters he is the worse cook. I headcanon that Osamu learned how to cook because Atsumu couldn't cook at all and it was pretty much pointless to turn to him when he was hungry and there was no food at home, and I'm pretty sure he caused a kitchen fire at least once.)

Really supportive and tries to do everything for you, at some point you really have to make him stop because you can hold your own purce. I can clearly imagine him carrying everything for you, whispering reassuring things and proclamations of love whenever he can.

 And don't let me started about him showing you off. One would think that his amazing pregnant wifey is the only thing that he talkes about. All his social media would be filled with pictures of you too. Just imagine having all those cute photo sessions with him!!! ( Yes I have a baby fever now)

"Congratulations, I hear three completely healthy heartbeats. You're going to have triplets!" The elderly woman announced to you with a warm smile. You just stared at her dumbfounded cuz like 3?  You would have 3 little Atsumus walking all over your house?

Before  you could even react your husband engulfed you in the biggest hug ever, almost knocking you out of the chair. "Oh my god, baby we're going to have triplets it's so amazing! We're going to have three kids! This is so cool!”He gasped as he realized something. “Soon we could have like our own volleyball team! Oh my god, Samu's going to be so jealous. As long as we're out I'm going to rub it in his ugly face!" Let's say you had to drag your hyperactive husband out of the doctor's office after he also almost tacked her too thanking her for the news.

He just wouldn't stop rambling how much he loved you and how thankful he was to have you in his life. And let's say in a matter of minutes everyone knew you two were going to have triplets.

Also let's just say that at some point you really had to shut him up with kisses, because as much as you love him and felt happy he was this amazed, it was still 3 am, and you wanted to sleep

You sure as hell scored yourself one heck of an amazing family.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Precious baby!!!

He was so happy when you announced him your pregnancy! He spend whole night hugging your belly whispering all the sweet stuff and how he couldn't wait to meet your kid, and how he would teach them everything he knew. You couldn't stop your tears it was such a happy sight.

I just imagine him being on his tippy toes whenever he's around you, bacause he's so large and strong he's fraid he's going to hurt you or the baby.

Also have I said that he would do anything for you? You would be like "Toshi..." And he's like "on it!" No matter which weird craving you have he would bring you everything without a single thought. Your wishes are his top priority.

He would also read books about pregnancy, just so can he know what's happening, and he would also ask you questions so he can understand everything better.

He would also help with your healthy diet, he would bring you all kinds of stuff saying "I heard it's good for pregnant women." (He's such a sweetheart I can't.)

He would also give best massages whenever you feel sore or tired. Anything to make you feel comfortable.

I think that his love language is through acts of service and trust me when I say this, he makes sure you feel loved and appreciated every day.

When the doctor told you the news he gave you the sweetest and warmest smile, immediately washing away all your possible worries. He grabbed your hands and littered them with softest kisses. Muttering to you how happy he was, how he loved you and how much he coudln't wait until they were born with tears on his eyes.

Let's say the doctor had to give you few minutes to yourself because now you were a sobbing mess and were clingling to your husband like your life depended on it. You were just so happy!

The same night he would bring you all sorts of magazines and would help you choose whatever you needed just so the triplets could have the cutest nurcery. (He let you choose anything, he just made comments then and there as he had you in his lap all cutely, snuggled against his chest. His warm hands securely on your belly, softest smile on is face.)

So this is it, I really hope you like it, this was my first time writing headcannons like this; Sorry if it has any mistakes, English is my second language and I still make mistakes. if you have any other requests don't hesitate to ask, I will be glad to write them^^

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Dating Todd and Neil would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- There’s two meeting options for the boys that I see as being particularly plausible. 1) You’re dating one of them; most likely Neil, and they find out that the other likes you, or 2) you’re dating one of them and notice their obvious attraction to each other so you suggest that maybe they just want to be together and they both decide no<3. 

- So, either way, you’ll be dating one of them and getting another one free of charge!

- Both of your boys love affection but Todd is definitely a bit uncomfortable with pda whereas Neil is almost always touching you; particularly when you’re in public since he likes keeping you close to him. So, to the untrained eye, Neil is going to be your boyfriend and Todd, just a close friend. 

- Todd’s kisses tend to be softer than Neil’s. Neil is usually more enthusiastic and playful when he kisses you while Todd usually takes his time and gives you kisses that; oftentimes, make you want to smash your lips to his. 

- Being moved from kiss to kiss during makeout sessions. Usually, Todd will be kissing you first and when the two of you part, Neil will be right there to tilt/move your face and kiss you himself. 

- Neil’s arms are around both your shoulders; yours and Todd's, constantly. It looks platonic to people who don't know about the three of you but it isn’t. 

- Todd usually holds your hands more than he wraps his arms around you. He’ll usually do it in private or when he can somewhat hide it but everyone knows that he’s a bit of a nervous wreck so they’re less likely to question the fact that you’re holding your “best friend”; and “your boyfriends best friend”s, hand in public. 

- Todd blushes whenever one of you kisses him, particularly when you’re in front of the other as though they’re not used to seeing it happen. Neil tends to be the one that makes him the most flustered since he’ll just duck down and give him one when he’s all excited and won’t even notice the way the boy turns red and looks at him like he hung the moon. 

- That being said, you’re a pretty girl kissing him so you’re bound to get some sort of flustered reaction; particularly when you kiss him for seemingly no reason at all. 

- Neil definitely pulls you into a makeout session when Todd insists that he’s “too busy” to hang out because he “has to study” or something similar. He likes to mess with him and give him some incentive to “take a break”; especially since he knows his excuse is bullshit and that he’s just too shy. It was more common at the start of your relationship for obvious reasons. 

- Both of these poor little fools are touch starved so please just show them love. Todd will literally act like a neglected puppy and lean into your hand with closed eyes whenever you touch his face and Neil will completely melt into your hugs 90% of the time.

- I mean, you’re sneaking into the room anyways, right? It’s only convenient to date the two of them. 

- Squeezing to fit in their tiny dorm beds, or taking turns cuddling with each other every night. 

- Neil is generally unbothered by the two of you hanging out without him but Todd doesn’t really like it unless your time is spent evenly between them. He doesn’t mind if you spend time with the boy alone; obviously you’re going to do that, but he does feel a bit neglected if you spend a lot more time with Neil. 

- Going to the cave together. They might not tell you about the society but they’ll most likely bring you to the secret spot just to hang out. 

- Sneaking out at night to go into town. I can picture it now, the three of you laughing, your breath foggy in the freezing night air and their cheeks and ears an adorable red from the cold. 

- Diner dates. 

- Going to book stores. It’s mainly for Todd but the atmosphere is nice so you and Neil don’t mind. 

- All of you steal each others sweaters but Neil is the one who usually finds himself missing all of his. 

- Todd raises his hands in surrender with a smile whenever Neil is teasing you and you look to him for help. He likes when you give him a cute little look or lightly shove him.

- Spending your holidays together. 

- Making special birthdays for your boys because they certainly don’t get them from anyone or anywhere else. Neil and you try your best to make the day really special for Todd because you know what usually ends up happening. 

- If you don’t go to Welton, they definitely sit together and craft up the perfect letter or peer edit their separate letters to you. 

- Todd is definitely really embarrassed when showing Neil the poetry he’s written about you but Neil thinks it’s adorable, and you find the stuff he’s written about Neil adorable so you both always insist that he has to give it to the other person. 

- Now Todd has someone to cling to in all stressful scenarios!

- Neil will go out and do his extrovert things and you’ll hang out with Todd. Don’t get him wrong, Todd loves your relationship and wouldn’t change it for the world but he definitely misses moments like those when you haven’t had them for a while. 

- Don’t get me wrong, you love your boys, but Jesus Christ they need to get a room. They’re so in love that it makes you sick.

- Its the 60s so you certainly aren’t telling anyone about your relationship but the poets probably find out because they catch you and Todd kissing and immediately just assume you’re cheating on your boyfriend: Neil. So they tell “your real boyfriend” and Neil has to somewhat awkwardly explain. Charlie will probably ask to join in and Knox will smack his arm.

- Neil doesn’t get jealous very often but Todd does so you and Neil will comfort and assure him or deal with it for the boy when they notice he’s feeling bad and is too shy to go over and see things for himself.

- Whenever they get into an argument about something, Neil has a tendency to get you involved, like saying “Well fine. Come on y/n.”, expecting you to do whatever it is with him if Todd won’t, so you’ll be torn between the two. If you don’t choose him, Neil will get upset with you too and sort of spitefully say “Fine then, stay with him. What do I care?” with a poorly concealed betrayed smile/laugh. 

- You try your best to smooth things over between them since they both sort of have a soft spot for you but Neil is pretty good at coming back in his own time. He’ll walk into the dorm as you’re sitting with Todd on the boys bed and pause before going over and leaning down to give you a kiss. Then, he’ll lean over you and give the other boy a kiss as well, basically saying no hard feelings. 

- Neil says he loves you very easily while Todd is more reserved so while you enjoy hearing it from both, it’s definitely more of a treat when you hear Todd say it. They both love hearing you say it as well, though you’ll have to say it to both if you’re in the same room. 

- The three of you just enjoy being kids and wandering around and doing as you please with each other without the fear of disappointing your parents.

[generallybrontidefeelings]

Stressed: a Train Ride Interlude

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Marcus Pike x reader, Marcus Pike x you

Warnings: smut, sex, teasing, sweet soft man, unadvisable train sex, please use protection, no voyeurism, part of the Stressed universe

A/N: Two things! Big thanks to @leias-rebelion for listening to my slutty thoughts and ambitious timetables, you are darling. Big thanks to @honestly-shite for her beautiful, lovely drawing of reading chair Marcus 💛 It sent me into a tizzy. He is the softest, handsomest alsdjfa *ahem* I'm fine. I'm not crying.

.....

You’d said a month ago that you missed the beach. Now you were on a train heading toward it. So what that it’s the end of September, Marcus had said, it will be romantic, and we’ll see the leaves changing.

So you were on a train speeding toward Massachusetts. The amber and canary yellow foliage was gorgeous, and you felt giddy in your sweater and comfy socks. You hadn’t felt this excited for a trip in...forever. Being graduated and finding a part-time job you had autonomy over revitalized you. And the sweet man sitting across from you in his reading glasses and soft henley inspired you to lean into the romantic part of this trip he claimed existed.

So what that it’s the end of September, you had snarked to him when he asked if your skirt - and lack of tights - was going to be warm enough. It will be romantic. He’d swallowed his tongue.

“Do you want to see?”

Marcus looks up from his copy of Women, Art, and Society with a questioning look written on his face. He’d been studiously examining the same page for nearly ten minutes, all while giving your bare legs stretched out in front of you longing glances every few breaths. There’d been no time this morning between breakfast and making it to the station on time for anything intimate. The bustling of the train carriage underneath your seats sent your knees softly bumping into his.

“Pardon?” he asked.

You tap his thigh with your booted foot, the cool air of the train carriage brushing your skin, and watch his eyes dip to your foot, your knee, the hemline of your skirt, before landing on your face.

“Do you want to see?” you ask. Marcus’s eyes widen as they dip to your hemline again, and you watch his chest heave once while red creeps around his ears.

“It’s not weird,” you tell him softly, drawing his focus. “I want to show you.”

Just as he opens his mouth, a voice passes by the compartment door, and his eyes lock rigid on the frame, shoulders tensing. The change knocks the wind out of you, watching him go from the sweetest, shy man to the alert special agent. Once the voice fades down the carriage he looks back at you.

“Let me see.”

Biting inside your lip, you let your knees fall open, then lift one booted foot to rest on his thigh so he has a good view up your skirt to your bare skin. Marcus’ eyes fall shut, and he takes a deep, controlled inhale.

“You bad thing,” he breathes, staring between your legs where you neglected to wear anything. Shaking his head, he turns the page of his book. “You bad, bad, bad thing.”

….

The train rumbles along over old, well-oiled tracks toward Plymouth, and Marcus is still awake.

He’s been waiting. Biding his time. Since your little stunt earlier, teasing him with what he shouldn’t have, he’d been scheming.

Dinner passed, and he kept his hands to himself in the dining car, despite your side-long glances. Twilight fell, and he kissed your temple as you snoozed off with his jacket draped over your lap. But now it was dark outside, with a low crescent moon and the ambient clinking of metal ornaments around through the carriage to break up the heavy roll over the tracks.

He slid closed the bolt for the door, and drew the blinds around the door before giving your knee a shake.

“Hey,” Marcus says, brushing his knuckles across the back of your hand. “Wake up, honey.”

“‘M awake,” you mumble, and lift your head to smile into his warm brown eyes. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven,” he says and kisses your nose, nuzzling it with the tip of his. His voice drops, a low register that makes your back twist. “You know when you showed me under your skirt earlier?”

You make your best innocent eyes at him. “I may recall.”

Humming, he leans away and sits back in his seat with his hands on his thighs, giving you those eyes, the ones that say I know what you were up to.

“I want to see again.” And he pulls his jacket off your bare legs.

Angling your hips, you let your leg rest on him again, and he groans at the sight, feeling himself fill from your bareness.

You watch eagerly as he reaches down and undoes his belt. “Get over here, sweetheart" His voice is clover green sweet.

Nodding, you rise languidly and set your knees on either side of his hips. You’d been dripping all afternoon waiting for him to do something other than rub circles into your calf with his warm fingers while he read. Now you balanced on his shoulders while he shoved his jeans and boxers down enough to free himself against his stomach.

You inhaled sharply as he ran his hands up your thighs to bunch your skirt around your waist.

It didn’t take much, some spit from your mouth on his length, some of your slick spread gently by his probing fingers, and he notched himself in you. You worked him into your body together until you were flush on his lap, filled to the brim and shaking. You licked into his mouth and squeezed around him, which made him grip hard behind your knees.

When you bunched his shirt in your fists on his shoulders and started to roll your hips at a faster pace, he stopped you.

“Slow, honey,” he cooed against your lips. “Like this.” His heavy hands on your hips led you in a tantalizing dance over his length that made the heat in your belly burn white hot.

“Marcus,” you whined, “I want to go faster.”

He guided your movements, down, down down, until you keened from him stuffing you - you fell onto his shoulder when he banded one arm around your middle to keep you close to his chest which rose and fell in deep movements, betraying him. Jostling from the train made you gasp, and clench hard around him.

“I know, honey,” he said, cupping the back of your head. He kisses your ear. “Bad girls don’t get what they want though.”

tag list (let me know if you do or do not want to be tagged!)

@leias-rebelion @sarahjkl82-blog @honestly-shite @danniburgh @missredherring @melispunk @leonieb

[thebadgerclan]

SFW Alphabet: George Weasley

Requested by Anonymous

A/N: The motivation hit to get these alphabets done, so we gettin them done 😂

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

George is HUGE on affection.  He’s super lovey dovey, wanting you (and everyone in the vicinity) to know how much he loves you

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s the Prongs of the friend group, always causing trouble and playing pranks.  You become friends after a failed prank, you were the only one who laughed even though it failed

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

George will keep you in his lap, arms tight around you, lips on your temple.  Spooning you, stroking your side gently, or with you facing him, face in his chest

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He does, but he has plans first.  George wants to take you on trips, to see the world, he wants to expand his store.  But eventually, yes, George wants to settle down

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d be heartbroken about it, but he’d try to make you laugh.  George would want to stay friends, unless something drastic happened

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

George is itching to marry you, and he asks as soon as you’re out of school.  The ring is a silver band with a diamond (Bc George wants you to have a diamond), yours and his initials engraved

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Very.  George never yells at you, and he’s very very rarely angry with you.  Physically, you’re his babygirl, and he’s going to treat you accordingly

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

George has two styles of hugs: he’ll sneak up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest, kissing your neck.  “Hey babygirl.”, and bear hugs, holding you tightly to him, your head on his chest

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It’s about 5 months into the relationship.  You’re in the common room, lying with your head in George’s lap.  “You know I love you, right?” he asks.  “Because I do.  I love you so much.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

George doesn’t handle jealousy well, especially when it comes to you. He’ll come up to you and kiss you, not caring who’s around.  “There’s my girl,” he’ll say, letting everyone know whose you are

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

George loves kissing you.  He’ll pull you into his arms and kiss you deeply, lips lingering on yours until you feel like you’ll faint.  “Pretty girl,” he’ll whisper, kissing you again.  Forehead kisses are another favorite

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

George grew up in a busy house, constant busyness.  In short, yes, he loves kids, and he really wants to have them with you.  He wants a whole brood, but if you only want 1 or 2, then he’s good with 1 or 2

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Waking in his arms before trying to drag him out of bed so you’re not late for work/class

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Honestly, dragging him into bed so he’s not exhausted the next day, falling asleep in his arms

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

George is an open book, hiding nothing from you

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

With others, George can be quick to anger, but with you, he’s a moon eyed calf.  He’s endlessly patient with you

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Many things slip George’s mind, but things you tell him aren’t those.  He remembers everything, and he’ll use that knowledge to surprise you

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

When Molly met you for the first time.  She took one look at you and beamed.  “She’s perfect, Georgie.”

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

George is pretty protective over you.  he doesn’t like other getting too close, and with Voldy running around, he can’t be too careful

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

There is nothing this man wouldn’t do for you, and this applies to dates and gifts.  They all have meaning, even if they’re not fancy or expensive.  A plush of your favorite animal, your favorite drink, things like that

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

George can get wrapped up in work with the store, neglecting you and his needs

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Honestly, not at all.  But he makes the tousled hair work, and it’s honestly pretty cute

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

100%.  You and Fred are the two people he cannot live without

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

George keeps a muggle picture of you on his desk: a candid of you laughing at something neither of you remember

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He needs someone who can laugh with him

Z= Zzz (A sleep habit of theirs)

George talks in his sleep, and it never makes sense.  “We need 2 more llamas, or Fudge will turn into a sheep.”

[arhvste]

MIYA ATSUMU - LITTLE MIYA

- summary - atsumu has to make sure that he’s the favourite parent to your unborn child and takes every chance he can get to convince them to pick him - fluff - x f reader

- an - this was for tsumu’s birthday but i was a little late posting due to unforeseen circumstances, but i’m glad i finally got it up, happy birthday tsum tsum i love u lots and thank u for being a character that i not only kin but have easily fallen in love with in a way too

-

Sighing, Atsumu dropped his bag down and quietly took his shoes off and left them neatly by the door. The quiet hums of cars passing by outside your house reached the setters ears as he peered down the hall and noticed your bedroom light was still on.

The light was dim but he knew you’d likely have been reading or busying yourself some other way and you’d probably drifted off into a light sleep by now.

He shook his head and smiled thinking about how you’d always try and stay up for when he’d come home but you’d almost always end up falling back asleep.

Creaking the door open wider from where you’d left it slightly ajar where the dim light had been teasing the darkness of the halls of your home, Atsumu quietly stepped into the bedroom and began to shed the clothes he’d worn after taking a shower at the training grounds and into his boxers and white t-shirt. He would often take showers at the MSBY training grounds much to Sakusa’s delight as the latter would insist Atsumu’s stench was “unbearable” after training sessions (Atsumu was adamant that Sakusa only said this to wind him up but showered anyway), he also didn’t want to wake you up with the noise of water hitting the hard marble flooring in the bathroom and the sounds of the shower rinsing him.

Some may consider Atsumu a selfish man but it was small things like this that proved that hypothesis wrong. It was the little things Atsumu did out of habit that made him lean more towards the selfless side rather than selfish but it wasn’t like the two of you particularly cared about others perceptions of himself and your relationship. You knew Atsumu and you loved him the way he was regardless of what anyone else had to say about him.

He pulled the soft white sheets back and the mattress dipped as his weight rested down as he turned on his side to face you.

‘An angel’ he thought to himself as he brushed a few stray hairs out of your relaxed face before he managed to tear his eyes away and look down towards your stomach.

A smile crept up on his face as he crawled further down the bed until he was face level with the centre of your stomach.

“Hey little man, or girl.”

His soft whispers grew excited as he began to chatter to your stomach.

“Ya must’ve worn ya mother out today, she’s completely knocked out ya gotta go a little easy on her sometimes.”

His hand now moved to the beginning of the curve where your stomach stretched out to form a bump where your child was currently conversing with their father.

“Anyways, since I know what trouble you were causing today let me tell ya what I did today- oh yeah sorry I forgot, don’t get too mad at me will ya?”

Atsumu quickly pressed a ‘hello’ kiss to your stomach. He would always kiss both you and your stomach hello whenever he was met with you again insisting that the child would feel neglected if he left them out.

“Omi was in a bad mood this morning but would ya believe he said I’m gonna be a great dad?! I’m pretty sure it was a backhanded compliment since he did say ‘You’ll be a great dad, your kid is gonna love having a stupid and childish father they can call a friend.’...Do ya think that was backhanded? I think it was but he still admitted I’ll be a great dad so I guess I’ll take it.”

Rubbing small circles on your stomach Atsumu’s eyes twinkled as he felt a small kick, the action ever so slightly hitting against the palm of his hand.

“I knew ya were gonna agree with me! It was totally backhanded! I guess that's Omi for ya! Speaking of, I think yer gonna like him. If ya gonna be anythin like me, you’ll enjoy annoying him so I think he’s hopeful that ya gonna turn out like yer mother if anything.”

He glanced up at your sleeping form and smiled warmly. The thought of having a small version of himself excited him, but he also liked the idea of having a small version of you. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle an overexcited and non-stop child if they were to take after himself. Besides, he loved everything about you and he was sure that raising a small version of you would be a dream.

“Ya know, I have a feelin ya gonna be more like yer mom. She’s great and I know yer gonna be too. Obviously yer gonna be talented I mean, I’m yer dad! Of course yer gonna inherit my good looks and athletic talent but if ya don’t wanna play sports that's okay too! I know yer gonna have the talent for it though so the choice is yours!”

Finding out that he was going to be a father was one of Atsumu’s greatest achievements he’d insist. It was always in his plan for the future to become a dad and he was over the moon when you’d revealed that his efforts hadn’t gone to waste and that later on in the year, he was going to have a little Miya to help raise. Of course he wanted his child to get into sports. He was introduced to the industry at a young age and it had bagged him a career he loved, friends and bonds for life and a generous salary. At first, he was sure that his child was going to play volleyball. How could they not? Their dad was the setter for V-league team MSBY and recently scouted for the Olympic team. He had his sights set on raising a future champion but then he thought back to his own brother.

Osamu had been successful athletically too but looking where that took him, Atsumu saw that even though his brother had the capability to go professional and maybe even play in the same teams as him, Osamu found passion elsewhere and these days he was the owner of an extremely successful company in the food industry.

They’d both started at the same point but ended in different places and that was okay. It was then Atsumu began to tone down the insistence that his child was going to be a pro player just like him and he was more focused on helping his child find something they loved whether that was sports or something else and help them grow and go further in doing something they loved just like he had done.

You were extremely proud of your husband when he told you about this. You knew he’d realise it eventually but you were surprised at just how quick he’d been able to rethink the future of his child and reflect on how he was going to raise and support his them. Atsumu knew he wanted his child to be successful somehow but he had finally come to realise that it didn’t have to be athletically but rather anything your child wanted to do. If they did end up taking an interest in sport, great, but neither you or Atsumu were going to push it onto them just because their father was a pro athlete.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll even end up like yer uncle Samu and take up cookin. I’m sure he ain’t gonna mind if we take ya to his restaurants or stores to teach ya a thing or two. Yer gonna be more like me than him though got it? I don’t need him teasin me sayin that yer more like him and that ya like him more than me yeah?”

Another soft kick met his warm palm and he let out a soft scoff and aimed a harmless glare at your unborn child.

“Oi! Uncalled for! I know I can be a little rude sometimes, but I ain’t gonna let yer end up like me in that sense! Yer mom would kill me if she found out that yer manners were like mine back when I was a kid. Ya better not be annoyin either. Nana Miya will probably tell ya a few stories about me and uncle Samu and how we used to get on her nerves with constant bickerin and fightin.”

A soft laugh drifted from him as yet another soft kick was sent Astumu’s way.

“Alright, alright I’ll stop layin inta ya, just promise me you’ll be good for yer mom while I’m training and stuff? She’s the best and yer gonna love her so much I promise. I hope yer gonna love me just as much too because not to cheat, but yer mother and I have a little bet over who the favourite parent is gonna be so I’m not saying ya have to pick me but I am tellin ya now that yer obviously gonna like me more cause I’m gonna be the best dad ever for ya.”

His warm, calloused hand rubbed over your stomach as he carried on chatting to your child as if this was casual conversation to him.

The warm temperature on your growing stomach caused your eyes to flutter open as you registered it was in fact your husband who was touching and talking to you while you were unconscious.

“Tsumu? What are you doing?” Your eyes and voice heavy with sleep as a lazy smile traced over your face.

Atsumu looked up and hummed before meeting your half lidded eyes as he gave you a toothy grin.

“Just tellin our kid how I’m gonna be the best dad.”

“You little shit! You’re cheating, you can’t tell the baby to pick you as their favourite while I’m asleep that’s not fair!”

“Yeah? Well I bet ya tell our kid to pick you as their favourite while I’m at training! Ya have all day to convince them! I gotta make up for my time lost.”

You fought the smile that was trying to break out onto your face as the petty argument with your husband continued with him sitting next to your stomach and you leaning facing him.

“That’s not true, I would never play dirty!”

“Baby, yer a Miya now, playin dirty comes with the name so I know yer lying!!

His hand still rested on your stomach as his eyes lit up as yours widened. Yet another small kick was felt as a smug smile wiped across your husband's face.

“Ha! Even little Miya admits yer a liar!”

You huffed and playfully gared at your own stomach and then your husband.

“Snitches get stitches.” You poked your stomach gently as if to retaliate to your growing baby.

“Hear that? Yer mom’s mean! That’s why I’m gonna be the favourite!” Atsumu declared with a triumphant smile as you laid back down to rest your head on the pillow.

“Yeah yeah we’ll see… I’m gonna go back to sleep. Tsumu, I love you.”

Atsumu crawled back over to you and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and whispered a ‘good night’ and ‘I love you’ before padding back over on all fours to your stomach before meeting it eye-level once more.

“So back to what we were talking about before we were interrupted…”

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @atsunakaashi @peteunderoos @saturnfarie @toffees-main @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei

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[4aloysius-porteu]

i am your ally || tsukishima kei.

pairing; tsukishima kei x f! reader

genre: oneshot, drama, flangst, a little comedy

word count: 5.6k

details: 3rd year Tsukishima, artist reader

warnings: reader going missing, verbal abuse, crushing of dreams, lots of sadness, heavy parental argument, everything that happens here hits home

synopsis: tsukishima didnt know what is the right thing to say after he heard of (y/n)’s situation, but the words that stumbled out from his mouth were a surprise, yet it blossomed to a meaningful talk that happens once in a blue moon.

(a/n): wrote in the middle of my depressing days to find a little comfort from this character that I love with all my heart. inspired by true situations irl; if you, my friend, is feeling down today, i hope reading this work of mine can help. i might make this into a full story if this got enough attention tho.

(Y/N) was nowhere to be found. 

It wasn't Tsukishima's habit to eavesdrop on other people's conversation, but he couldn't help but listen when he heard her name from her classmates. She was a consistent top student that will never neglect her studies, so it was unusual to know that she was absent today. He thought that maybe she got sick or she decided to go crazy and skip school. If it was the latter, he hoped that she knows what she's doing, because midterms are coming in 3 days, and he's not going to listen to her whines and begs to help her study for the tests.

And now he just happened to overhear that she was missing. 

He saw her parents walk out of the campus after talking to the vice-principal and to the teachers. Gossip filled the corridors and rooms. Tsukishima went back to his room, clearly annoyed with the unnecessary noise.

He listened to the lectures of each subject and continued to write down important points, but the thought of (Y/N) lingered in his head. What could've happened that led to her disappearance? Was she kidnapped? No, he just walked her home last night and she'll never leave her place past midnight. Kidnappers won't dare to make a move in daylight because of the town's high authority visibility. There's no way she'll be lost in an area she's very familiar with. 

She ran away from home. That is the only logical possibility he could come up with, but he couldn't think of an idea as to why. (Y/N), who loves to be cooped up in her room with music blaring in her earphones while drawing, left her home without a trace. Tsukishima was a little worried, but he won't let his face show whatever the hell he's feeling. 

His plays and blocks aren't exactly bad, but Yamaguchi could sense that Tsukishima was thinking of something other than the volleyball practice. He approached his friend who was resting on the floor, his long arms covering his curled up legs. 

"Tsukki, what's with that expression? Did you get a failing score in a quiz?" Yamaguchi started, in an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere. 

The blonde's eyes darted to him, "Like hell, I'm going to let that happen. What do you want?"

He shrugged, "Nothing, I just noticed that you were a little quieter and more passive today. Normally, you would've chewed the first years out with their simple blocking errors, but you didn't say a thing. You're scarier in their eyes when you're silent."

"I was tired. I'll only waste my voice pointing out something I did a million times." A sigh escaped his lips 

"Right..." Yamaguchi paused, "So, I assume you have heard?"

"Heard of what?"

"That (Y/N) is missing."

"Oh," A frown fell on his features. It wasn't his usual frown. People who really know him would notice that his eyes are full of worry. 

He sat beside Tsukishima before he spoke again. "I know you have ideas on places (Y/N) could've gone to."

"I do not know what you're talking about."

The latter chuckled, "Oh, humor me, Tsukki. If you're that worried, I can excuse you for today's practice. No problem."

"Does that mean that you aren't concerned?"

"I am concerned. I want to look for her as well, but I have to whip the other players into shape. I'm sorry if I couldn't accompany you right away."

Tsukishima stood up and sighed again, "You will excuse me, you said?"

"Yeah."

There were silence and the background noise of balls and shoes colliding on the floor. He wiped the sweat off his face before replying, "I'll be leaving the gym in a few minutes."

He changed his clothes and packed his things up, causing the team to exchange glances.

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi called, throwing his friend's large jacket to him, which the other caught. "Take care! I hope you find (Y/N) and get her home safe."

"I wish. Then, I'll leave it to you, Captain."

The green-haired middle blocker's eyes teared up and sparkled as he beamed a smile back, "I got it!"

Tsukishima started to look for (Y/N) at the places she liked to go to; the art store, the Central Park, the kid's playground, the museum, and the prefectural library. But there was no sign of her anywhere. He looked at the nearby places to no avail. He walked on while dialing her number, but her phone is out of coverage area. He spent 3 more hours finding the girl and soon received a message from Yamaguchi, telling him that (Y/N) hasn't been found yet and that he joined the authorities to help them find her. 

He walked back to the direction of his home, panting softly. He had failed to find (Y/N), yet his brain won't stop thinking about her possible whereabouts. The cool breeze of winter hit Tsukishima's face and shivered at the contact. He had hoped again that she is inside of an establishment, safe from such cold weather.

Tsukishima's home has its lights out. Her mother was invited into her colleagues' reunion as said in her text, and both his father and brother are busy at work. He reached for his key in his pocket and was opening the door, not until he heard a loud sob from somewhere. Tsukishima looked around the place as the sobbing continued. He searched for the source and ended up in their backyard. He caught the sight of a small figure behind the bushes and went closer to confirm.

It was a cat. It had scurried away once he got close to it. Oh, how stupid he is to get his hopes up only to find a scared animal. But he was certain he heard a sob somewhere near. And cats aren't capable of making a sound like that. Or maybe he was only hearing things?

He dragged his feet to the main door to unlock it, but this time, there was a loud noise of scrubbing on the roof. What is it this time? He moved back and looked upon where it came from. 

To his surprise, it wasn't another cat but a person. Their legs were curled up, arms covered around them, with their chin on their knees. Tsukishima turned on his phone's flashlight and there she was. 

It was (Y/N). Her shoulders shook, either from the cold or trying her best not to cry out loud. 

"H-Help me."

He stared at the girl, confused and fighting back laughter because of how scared (Y/N) looked. "How the heck did you get in there?"

"I climbed that tree and jumped off to break in and hide in your room. Turned out that the windows are locked. I don't know how to jump back and I-I was too high from the ground. You know I'm scared of heights! Why did you lock the window?! Stupid!"

"Of course, I would lock the window for the security. And wow, aren't you the stupid one for knowing how to climb and jump up to my window and not knowing how to get down? Why did you climb if you are scared of heights? Such an idiot."

"Fine, fine. I am an idiot. Now, can you help me get off this roof?"

He crossed his arms and smirked, "No."

"Ugh! Please, Kei. I've been trapped here for hours. I am begging you to help me get down. Please?"

He sighed in defeat and raised his arms. "Here. Jump."

For seconds, (Y/N) didn't respond as she was having second thoughts about jumping.

"What? Do you expect me to get a ladder? I'm sorry, but it's in the basement, broken." He said in a mocking tone. "Don't you want to come down?"

"Can you catch me properly? Are your arms stable? Won't you fall on your ass?" (Y/N) interrogated.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Alright, stay there and freeze to death."

"No, wait! I was just asking! Come back! Don't leave meeee!"

The blonde looked up to her and raised his arms again, "Don't think. Trust me, I will catch you properly and you won't crash to the ground. You weigh like nothing anyway."

"Are you talking about yourself?" She retorted, pertaining to his weight.

"Can you please just jump?"

(Y/N) inhaled and went to the edge of the roof. It was a scary view for her, just looking down makes her dizzy, and want to throw up.  She thought he would have the largest frown on his face because of how irritatingly slow she was, but there was Tsukishima waiting for her with the calmest expression. She smiled a little.

"Here I go..."

She took off, closing her eyes, and swallowing her fears. The gravity pulled her feet down shortly after, and Tsukishima readied himself for the impact as he reached her waist. He held on to her lower torso while (Y/N) placed her arms around his shoulders tightly and legs on his waist. The athlete's balance slightly went off, so he took a step back to support both their weights. It was now steady. 

"I'm surprised you didn't lose your balance. Where's the weak boned beanpole 3 years ago?"

"I did for a second."

"Doesn't matter. You caught me. Thank you."

They had stayed in that way for a moment until Tsukishima spoke, "Do you plan to get off?"

"No. I'm tired."

"I am too." Yet she refused to let go.

He exhaled, carrying (Y/N) to the main entrance and finally unlocking the door. Her hoodie was cold and some parts are wet, but it didn't rain on that day. He took her in and placed her on the couch. Tsukishima went to his room, changed clothes, and brought a spare sweatshirt, handkerchief, and a towel. He went down but didn't find (Y/N) where he left her, so he walked to the kitchen counter and found the girl on the corner, shivering like a pup.

He tossed the clothing at her without further words. There was a note from her mom beside the curry in the table, saying she had eaten and she left rolls in the refrigerator. He was about to turn on the stove to reheat the food his mother left, but his eyes landed on (Y/N) who sat quietly, hugging the sweatshirt instead of wearing it. Her hair was disheveled, the sleeves and neck part of her hoodie was damp, her nose was red and her puffy, bloodshot eyes implied that she has been crying for who knows how long. He set the pan down to get her a glass of water. 

"Everyone was looking for you." Said Tsukishima.

"No one was really looking for me." (Y/N) replied, clearing her nose. 

"I didn't spend the last 3 hours tiring myself to scan the whole town for no reason." He sat beside her, handing the glass. "Care to spill the tea?"

(Y/N) drank first before speaking weakly, "I hate them. So much."

The male remained quiet, waiting for her to continue her dilemma.

"Remember when I told you and the class that I will be the most successful doctor in Japan after I finished my studies? It was a lie. It wasn't my dream to stay in a hospital and treat ill people, I only wanted to draw and paint. I didn't care if it never made them or anyone happy, I am happy doing it. And they are taking it away from me."

He knew from the start that her dream job as a doctor wasn't true. For years she stayed close to him as a friend or more, she won't blabber anything of the medical topic. She was terrified of syringes. He saw her reading an article about surgeries and like, but her focus was easily taken away.

She will get a pencil then start scribbling and drawing. Something that Tsukishima always sees her doing whenever she has a pen and paper, but she insists that it was a mere hobby. Her notebooks are well designed and organized, but the back is always full of artistic doodles instead of algebra solutions. She only has very few art materials yet she can make a portrait with only her fingers to shade. She makes digital art without a stylus. She would drag him to the museum after class to view some western and eastern paintings or any work of art while he admires the dinosaur fossils. For times she's watching an art tutorial and talk about art, draw and paint, she has those stupid sparkles in her eyes and a huge smile on her face. 

"You know Tsukishima, after I finish studying and became a doctor, I'll become an artist and if the time let's it, I'll open my own art gallery. That's my ultimate dream." She looked alive and delighted.

Very much the opposite of what she looks like right now. 

Even though she was a slave of art, as Tsukishima was a slave of his own interests, (Y/N) prioritized her studies so much. He understood why when he went to her house and met her parents before their study sessions. He had noticed everything but chose to stay quiet. 

"I-I was drawing last night. Dad entered my room but I didn't notice so he ripped the music away from my ears and yelled. He said that I would always lock myself in my room and draw every night. It was never-ending and irritates the shit out of him. He asked why would I do something so useless that isn't even connected to any academic subject. He was looking down on my art like he was looking at a piece of crap. He told me to stop and threatened me if I didn't. Why would I get punished for drawing? I couldn't get myself to stay silent so I retorted. If he doesn't want to see me drawing, then he shouldn't enter my room at all. He should stop meddling with my hobbies. His anger only went up."

(Y/N) stopped for a while to wipe her tears and snot with her sleeves but Tsukishima placed a handkerchief on her hands. She muttered her thanks and blew her nose and soon followed with a sneeze.

"Soon, it became a full-blown argument. He said that he was checking out if I was doing my projects, but oh he was so disappointed only to find his daughter drawing for nothing. What the heck? I gave them the best grades I could get, and part of it was because of you, Tsukishima, but they still aren't satisfied? I balanced drawing and academics, but they made it seem that all I was doing was my hobby, completely ignoring my efforts at school. I finished the school activities and I reviewed for midterms and all I want is to be left alone and draw. What, they want me to go crazy by studying every hour with things I won't even apply in real life?"

Her fake laughter echoed in the kitchen for seconds before her depressed tone took over again.

"Mom heard all the shouting and joined the argument. Of course, she sided with dad without listening to my feelings and there they ridiculed their youngest child's interests and talent. They told me that everything I do is bullshit and wrong, that I was useless, that I was the huge opposite of their expectations, and... and how come God gave them a joke. She said they raised me so that I could help them, not to do such useless things. It hurts to shout back but I did to explain why I'm so passionate about art in hopes that they will listen and understand but, I was so wrong. I was suddenly slapped..." She placed her hand to her left cheek, her lips quivered a little. 

"I-It stung so much. Mom complained about how the Internet generation is so rebellious and won't listen to the elders. They didn't raise and teach me to talk back at them, but here is their child being a bitch. They started comparing me to my elder siblings or relatives who focused on their studies and who are at the door of success. I know they only want me to achieve the best, but my success isn't up to them! It's on me!! And I've invested a lot for that! They shouted at me as mom pulled my hair. It was so loud I thought I was going deaf. Dad blamed the gadget's influence and my drawings. I have only drawn decent fanarts of fictional characters, people, and sceneries, but they believed that because of these, I turned into a mannerless bastard. So mom decided to get my phone and lessen my allowance so that I wouldn't buy any art materials that are a waste of fortune--"

She bit her lower lip that is trembling uncontrollably and her eyesight blurred as her fat tears got in the way.

"and... D-Dad... he... he... he tore m-my sketch pad apart..."

Tsukishima's eyes widened. (Y/N) brought that thing with her almost everywhere she went and it was filled with good drawings and art plans. She has a lot of them though, but Tsukishima could only imagine how she felt when her efforts were trampled over by someone important to her. 

(Y/N) broke down, bawled her eyes out, and shrieked hysterically. He looked at her with a heavy heart. He had seen her crying sometimes, be it because of a sad movie or empathy, but never like this. A depressed, emotional wreck. Her eyes were sore enough after a lot of hours, but she won't stop crying. It was heartbreaking to see and hear his significant other in this state, yet Tsukishima didn't know what is the right thing to say. 

But maybe there was no need to say anything at all.

Kei wrapped his arms around her weeping figure and pulled her towards him. Cry it out, pipsqueak. (Y/N) didn't expect this action, nonetheless cried in his shoulder He didn't care anymore if this meant he gets his clothes drenched in her snot and tears as long as she felt a little less lonely. He rubbed her back and hair in an attempt to comfort his lover. (Y/N)'s airways hurt, but she screamed the pain out, in hopes that the pain in her heart would vanish. Her weeping went on for long minutes until she choked in her own sobs that Tsukishima had to get her another glass of water.

"Tell me, Kei." She began, wiping her eyes, "Is there... something wrong with me? Is my dream really that insignificant?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. You followed your ideals. Anyone including me would've done the same." He answered beside her.

"I-It's realistic, right?"

"It is."

"Then... why did it turn out like this?" Her voice was cracking.

Tsukishima looked down, "The society is just very cruel."

"Yeah. It sure is. Such a cruel society to live with." 

(Y/N) let out a dejected sigh and leaned on Tsukki's shoulder. "I couldn't look at them without such overwhelming fear and hate anymore. I wonder if... they knew that I was doing this for them. I'd like to make them smile with something I've made myself. Once, I made each of them a portrait. A realistic one made from a pencil. I couldn't afford a material set that can be used to paint realistically, but I tried my best to impress them with a charcoal one. Oh, if only you saw their faces when I gave them the portraits. They returned a half-hearted smile. It wasn't the same kind of joy I see whenever I give them perfect scores on tests. I didn't spend 3 sleepless nights just to see their half happy, half unpleased reaction. I wish they could feel more proud of their daughter who worked hard for them... I wonder if they threw it away as he did on my sketch pad..." 

They let silence engulf the atmosphere for a while. (Y/N) had calmed down a little, despite shedding smaller tears from the side of her eyes. Tsukishima held the sweatshirt he gave her earlier to make her wear it on the top of her hoodie to lessen her shivering. He stared at her, while the other gazed down on the floor with dead eyes.

Tsukishima asked, "So, what are you going to do now?"

"What am I going to do now huh..." (Y/N) repeated. "I'll probably... put everything to an end."

"You know I won't let you."

"I'm not talking about my life, silly. I might stop drawing and all. I've lost it."

"Isn't your life and drawing one and the same? And I'm pretty sure you have that immense talent to continue."

"No... Besides, talent isn't a talent if it doesn't make anyone happy."

The blonde mentally scoffed. She just said that it makes her happy in the beginning.

"Oh? Fine, stop doing that one thing you put everything into. What would that girl you received a commission from would feel if she were to hear you though?"

(Y/N) was stunned. She had completely forgotten about the whole commission thing she opened in her social media accounts. Tsukishima accompanied (Y/N) on giving the commissioned charcoal portrait to a girl last 3 weeks ago. It was (Y/N)'s first commission for years she's making art. Someone liked her work for the first time and paid for it, and her client looks very contented and glad. The words she said filled her thoughts with inspiration.

"Wow, this is awesome! I'm so happy!! Thank you for making this, it was exactly what I've pictured on my mind! You're amazing! All the excitement I've bottled up for this day is so worth it," The girl, probably a little older than them paused and admired the painting she received from (Y/N).

"Would you ignore those words she said?"

 'Please don't stop drawing, I'll be looking forward to your future works!' 

A pang of guilt hit her chest. She wants to pursue art, but there are these shackles and chains on her limbs and around her neck that made it hard for her to move forward. She couldn't breathe. What happened yesterday night was too much. Her parents went overboard. 

"B-But—"

A monotone voice interrupted her, "Don't. Never stop striving for something you have been building for years. You might be defeated now, but surely, you will win some time. There's no way you'll stay in the lowest level of the ladder after I saw how hard you worked. You will go to nationals again, and I will continue to support you. I'll cheer for you and stay by your side! So please, do not stop! Let me see those beautiful blocks that you execute in the game once more! And I will watch you reach the top! Doesn't matter how many times, I'll never get weary of watching you do amazing things!"

She was silenced by that statement. She had definitely heard those before, but couldn't quite remember where. 

"Does the sentiment seem familiar to you? Those are the same words that came from your mouth when I was planning to quit volleyball after our huge loss to Date Tech last year. I am returning them back to you."

"Huh?" She replied with a meek voice.

"That time, you really did a good job meddling with my decisions. It annoyed me first, but what you had stated held a weight that I couldn't disregard. You gave me the small push I didn't know I needed. In the end, I'd like to pay you back." Tsukishima stated with a far away look in his eyes.

(Y/N) listened with watery eyes. This Tsukishima's side isn't definitely the one she gets to see every day so she couldn't feel anything but the warm, fuzzy feeling that is healing her heart. 

"It's probably selfish for me to say this but, don't you dare give up. I didn't stop. No matter how long and hard the game is, no matter how tired and discouraged I get, and no matter how many pessimistic thoughts clouded my head, I didn't stop chasing after a falling ball and thinking of another tactic to counter the enemy. I kept your words with me in court. It was you who told me not to in the first place, and I'm not going to forgive you if you ever dropped everything. I won't let the stupid, starry-eyed (Y/N) die today."

The girl beside her started sobbing. "But you told me once that my drawing are ugly."

"Oh. That. I... kind of remember that. I'm not sorry about what I said because I did it to provoke and rile you up. It was a lie though. As someone who always sees you drawing, I can't call your work ugly at all. Your art is... astounding. You make it look like it's so easy to do. I think you forgot next sentence after I told you that."

"What was the sentence after?"

Tsukishima sighed, "I told you to keep doing it, right?"

The sound of (Y/N) crying engulfed the kitchen, "Oh gosh, why did I forget that... I'm sorry, I'm so idiotic..."

The blonde brought her back to his arms, "Will you stop crying, you've been too hard on yourself today,"

(Y/N) hid her face on his chest, muffling her speech, "c-couldn't help it... my mind is such a mess... I do not know..." She paused, coughing. "It's no use if m-my parents don't acknowledge me..."

"Hundreds, or perhaps thousands of people who follow you on social media account recognize you. People in school recognizes you. I recognize you. I am your ally. Isn't that enough reason for you to get back on your feet? I will support you just like how you supported me. You have a lot of people who admire you, but I only have a few people and you. Yet your words are enough. I'm certain that soon, you will reach your parents' standards and get them to acknowledge you. It's not impossible."

(Y/N) fixed her tear-stained face before looking up to him, "You know what? Who are you? Is a good spirit possessing your body? The Kei I know will either stay quiet or laugh at me for being pathetic."

"I was trying to be nice for once and this is what I get?" He frowned.

(Y/N) chuckled and hugged Tsukishima, "I'm sorry. Everything you said meant the world to me. Thank you very much."

She relaxed against his lean body, "I have a question though..."

"What?"

"You literally had no business in my art, it was my own problem. Why are you doing this?"

"Why don't you ask yourself after you argued with me that night? Why did you have to butt in with my choices?"

"Because you like volleyball! You might look like that someone stole your dinosaur collection when you're at practice, but you're good at it and have a future in it! It is a part of you, and you're deciding to throw it away? Your potential is too big to be wasted and I refuse to let that happen." Her voice is a little louder now, but hoarse.

"There's your answer, little gremlin."

"How is that— Oh."

"But I'd like to add something."

"What is it?"

"You look better doing what you really like. It makes you look less like a hag."

It was silent after that. (Y/N) punched his arm. Tsukishima didn't even wince but asked, "What was that for?"

"The last statement was unnecessary, and the first one is sweet yet cringey." She criticized. 

"C'mon, I'm just a teenager. Aren't you the cringey one most of the times?"

She used the handkerchief to sniffle her runny nose away, "Why do you have a knack of returning everything I said to me?"

"I won't do it if it's not appropriate." Tsukishima placed his hands on her back and to her hair, "So, what are you going to do now, (Y/N)?"

"I'll think things through. My brain is still slightly messy, but I'll be fine, thanks to you. But Kei..."

He hummed as a response. "I don't want to go home. I want to run away."

"Not possible. You can't survive on your own. You're almost 18 and until now, you don't understand how a washing machine works with all your perfect scores in exams."

"This is just a thought. I didn't say I'll be alone. I'm taking you with me."

"I refuse."

"Why?"

"Couldn't you wait for more months until we graduate?"

(Y/N)'s eyebrows raised, "So basically, you're agreeing, but not this time?"

"No, but you'll be free of your parents' suffocating control. Who knows how huge is your potential by that time."

"How considerate of you." The girl smiled.

"Only this time. And no, we won't live in the same place in college. Not yet. Not until we finish our studies, have secured jobs, and get important things done." 

"Will you be playing volleyball at college?"

He lazily replied, "Probably."

"Don't give me such an ambiguous answer!"

"Probably yes." 

"Hmm. Fine by me. I'll continue to draw, then." (Y/N) rested her head near Tsukishima's neck. 

He smiled a little at her answer, "Another thing though. I don't think... you should leave things with your parents like that. There'll be a time where you have to face it."

"Yes, that sucks... I don't want to think about it but I'll have to go back eventually... When that confrontation happens, I'll try to calmly talk it out with them. I will never be certain if it will end well. But my hate and fear of them won't change."

"You can always run back here if it didn't end well."

"Kei, don't want to see their faces just yet. Can I stay here for a while?"

"You even bother to ask. You are welcome anytime in this household. Just enter the house in the front door, not in my window."

"Right... thank you."

"Oh, now it's my turn to ask. How did you get in there?"

(Y/N) sighed, "It was on 4:30pm. I was on the loose and I looked for a store where anyone can't recognize me so I can eat for lunch. But there's this creep who kept on following me—"

"Did he hurt you?" He abruptly questioned.

"No. I ran as fast as I could before he could even get close to me, but in the next block, there were the town authorities with my mom, and I knew they were looking for me, so I blended into the people with my hoodie on and made my way. I climbed the tree in panic that they'll find me and hid there. It took me hours to notice that your house is just next to it, so I decided to climb to your window. However, the window was locked, and I was stuck."

Tsukishima sighed in relief. "It was a miracle that a klutz like you didn't fell off the tree and surprisingly, no one found you."

"I was high in adrenaline when I climbed the tree. My blending and hiding skills are in ninja-tier now, I beat you."

"Whatever. What did you have for breakfast?"

"...a melon bread."

"Just that?"

"Just that." 

Tsukishima kissed her forehead before lifting her up with him. "Go change. Borrow any of my clothes. I'll reheat the food."

(Y/N) kissed his cheek, slowly got off him and went upstairs. Tsukishima opened his phone to text Yamaguchi about her situation and proceeded to reheat the spicy curry. 

"Wait, Kei! Is it okay for me to eat?" She shouted from upstairs.

"What kind of question is that? Of course you can." He shouted back.

"Your mom left that for you, for your dad and for your brother. I'd feel bad."

"My brother and dad will come home late and I'm sure they've eaten already. So is mom."

"Are you sure? I can replace the food." She said while going down the stairs.

"Oh, you can cook? I'm afraid you'll burn the whole kitchen." He mocked.

"At least not the whole house." (Y/N) laughed, "Just kidding, I have a tiny knowledge in cooking."

"You don't have to, I told you they already ate. I'll bring out the sushi mom made if you still want to eat."

"Alright. Thank you for the food."

Few hours later, Tsukishima's mom came home and took off her shoes. "I'm home."

As she was about to enter the living room, Akiteru greeted her and placed his finger in front of his lips, indicating her to keep quiet. She wondered what was going on and saw her youngest son and his girlfriend leaning on his shoulder, asleep on the couch in front of the TV. He signaled her to read the note Kei left on the table. 

To mom, dad, and brother,

Earlier in the morning, (Y/N) went missing and her parents and town authorities were looking for her. I found her on the way home, but it turns out that she ran away from her home because of an intense argument between her parents, and doesn't want to be found yet. Please let her stay here for a while. I'll do most of the household chores or any favor you ask me in return. 

Mom, I shared the curry and sushi rolls with her. I left for some for dad and brother. (Y/N) said it was very delicious. 

Love, 

Kei.

She smiled after reading the note and looked at the sleeping kids. She took notice of (Y/N)'s eyes and quickly understood the situation. Before she left to rest in her room, she looked for a spare blanket and laid it atop them to keep them warm. 

(Y/N) snuggled further to Tsukishima's arms, satisfied on how this night will end well, unlike yesterday's.

©4aloysius.porteu.2021. please do not repost, copy, or edit. plagiarism is punishable by law.

[professorrw]

Something Different

Pairing: female reader x Sam Wilson

Requested: Yes

Warnings: smut, 18+, oral (female receiving), anal fingering, pegging, toys (dildo on a harness), mentions of foreplay, some teasing/public humiliation

A/N: Requests are open for one-shots, headcanons, imagines, and drabbles for My Hero Academia, Harry Potter, and Marvel! My taglist is open so if you’d like to be on that just tell me! Please like, comment, and reblog!

After being with Sam for a year and being his friend before that you knew a lot about him. But not about his interest with pegging.

“I think it would be fun. It’s something different,” he said.

“You really want to try it?” you asked in amazement.

“Yeah.”

And with that you grabbed your keys and drove to a notorious adult store in your area. You could have just ordered one but Sam wanted to try it right away now that he had finally asked you.

You walked into the dimly lit store and waved at the cashier. You weren’t friends with them but you had seen them before from your previous visits. You and Sam both were used to the store. You’d gone in there a few times together to try out new stuff. It wasn’t like your sex was the same every time. You both liked to try new things.

You took your time looking, browning through not only harnesses and different sized dildos but for ropes and handcuffs. You were both really into foreplay and Sam loved to pretend to be a cop and punish you for bad behavior.

You stopped and picked up the nearest box. “What size do you want baby?”

“About average. I don’t think I could take my own size like you do.” He winked and scoffed and playfully hit his arm.

“Yeah, I don’t think you take cock as well as I do. Your tight little hole wouldn’t be able to stand something this big.” You dropped your voice and smirked while you showed off the thick 8 inch dildo you were holding.

“Mmm… I guess we’ll just have to see about that won’t we?” He smirked right back at you and took the harness with the big dildo right out of your hands. By the time you caught up with him he was already at the counter and pulling out his wallet.

“Sam, are you sure you can take that?” You weren’t speaking loud but you were close enough to the cashier that he heard what you said. His eyes widened and he bit his lip to hold back a laugh. Sam sucked his teeth and shook his head at you.

“Real funny. Real funny,” he said as you walked to the car.

“It was. I think I even saw your face get a little red.”

“I bet you did,” he said sarcastically.

That was the best thing about Sam. He could take a joke and throw one right back at you. He wouldn’t get his feelings hurt when you teased him, he actually liked messing around with you. If he was in the mood he would even make you squirm a bit. As payback for what you did in there he put his hand right between your thighs while he drove.

He went straight for your vagina, hands rubbing against the thin material that separated him from your cunt. He was moving his hand up and down and pressing his fingers against you. Through your shorts you could feel him. Since he had suggested pegging you had been aching. He wasn’t helping whatsoever and your pussy was getting wetter as you neared your apartment.

As soon as he took the keys out you grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him towards you. Your lips crashed together hungrily. He would have taken you right then and there but there wasn’t enough space for what he wanted to do. He reluctantly pulled away and walked to your side of the car. He hurriedly opened your door and as soon as you stepped out he picked you up.

He pushed the car door closed and walked to your apartment while you kissed. Your legs were wrapped around his waist and only one hand held onto you as he fiddled with the keys. His key finally found purchase and he swung the door open.

He walked into the apartment and set you down on the couch. You watched as he stood above you and took his shirt off. He threw it aside and unbuttoned his pants, eyes trained on you. While he undressed you pulled your top above your head and slid your shorts off. Your couch was an L shape and he had set you down on the end that came out and didn’t have sides.

“You ready for me baby girl?”

“Yes. Take me,” you answered.

He obliged and dropped to his knees. He pulled your underwear down and his big hands wrapped around your thighs as he buried his face in your heat. In a heartbeat his tongue was out. You were melting into his every touch. Every time he swirled his tongue or flicked it inside you you would moan. He had that ability. He was the only one that could make you do that. He made you feel inhumanly good.

His head was moving into a consistent rhythm that was in time with his tongue. It was a slippery mess. Your juices were mixing with his saliva, and both of those things were covering Sam’s chin. He didn’t care one bit. 

He worked and swirled and moaned, all actions that edged you closer and closer to your orgasm. Your back arched and your hands clawed at the couch. You soon felt that familiar pressure and you knew what was about to happen.

“Sam I’m about to cum.”

He stopped for just a second to say something back. “Go ahead baby girl. Let it all out.”

He was over the moon and his ego was inflated as you came undone on his face. He licked and swallowed it all. His baby’s sweet pleasure was sliding down his throat. What more validation did he need? None. 

Now that you had your fun it was his turn. From the number Sam did to you you would do anything he wanted. You weren’t even going to tease him. You wanted to please him in every way possible. Sam worked you so well you would bow down at his feet if he wished.

It didn’t matter that your legs were wobbly. You would fuck him just like asked. Once the harness was strapped on Sam got in position. He was doggy style in the same spot as you. His butthole was so tight you knew it would kill him to go straight in with the dildo. Just as Sam did, you dropped to your knees.

You leaned over and opened the drawer on the side table. You had sex on the couch so much you ended up putting a bottle of lube there. You pulled it out and squirted some on your fingers. You covered four of them and held it above Sam’s hole. You squeezed and it dripped off the bottle and slid onto his butthole. You rubbed it around before you inserted a finger into Sam.

He let in a sharp breath but other than that he showed no signs of wanting to stop. You curled that finger inside him for a minute before you added another. To make sure that the whole process went smoothly you would have to stretch him as much as possible. The dildo Sam chose didn’t come to play.

He was grunting and moaning as you scissored him. Even though your attention was focused on his butthole his dick was feeling neglected. He was hard as all get out and it wasn’t getting any action.

“Y/N please.”

You were confused for a second and looked around to see if something was wrong and then you figured it out. You reached your other hand past his balls and started stroking his dick. He was facing away from you but his eyes fluttered with the two sensations.

Another finger was eventually added, and then another. You were four fingers in and Sam was close to coming already. He was plenty stretched so you slid your fingers out. You stood back up, knees sore and possibly bruised from sitting the way you were. 

You grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted some on the dildo. You lathered it up and pushed an inch into Sam. He was breathing heavily and you knew it was agonizing to go from all that movement to an inch of dildo sitting inside him. 

You pushed some more in and to help stabilize you you let go of his dick and gripped his sides. He was pumped and his dick no longer needed attention. If you fucked him right he wouldn’t need a hand on his dick to cum.

Your hips rolled against his ass as he moaned. You were delighted to hear the sounds Sam was making. You were glad he suggested pegging because it now opened a whole world of new possibilities for your sex life together.

You knew how you liked to be fucked so you used that same knowledge to please Sam now. He was such a good lover you were more than eager to return the favor.

Just to make sure you were doing okay you wanted to ask. “Is that okay? Do you like it?”

“I love it baby girl,” he breathed out.

You were thrusting into him, picking up pace gradually. He was overcome with pleasure and at the peak of your thrusting his back arched and his breath caught and cum spurted out of his cock.

The cover that was laid out on that part of the couch was now covered in his cum but that was just a minor thing compared to the pleasure coursing through Sam.

You slid the dildo out of him and discarded the harness on the floor. Sam was now on his side with his eyes closed. You laid next to him, not caring about the cum stained cover. You wrapped your arms around him and he did the same.

“That was amazing.”

You kissed his forehead while he caught his breath. “You did amazing. You took that dildo like a pro.”

[devilrainbunnie]

.- anthurium -.

X/2/3

shigaraki x reader

a/n: kind of an au, first piece! hope you guys like, i was feeling angsty. part two maybe?

CW: anxiety warning, cheating, manipulation, reader is depressed, sexual themes and description of sexual themes. minors DNI.

—

“for the millionth time, nothing is going on!” he snapped, rolling his eyes as he shuffled in his chair. fingers carefully laced around the hand held device. the vermillion eyes were full of fire, a fire that burned in agitation. towards you. he dared not to look into yours, for that would be almost like he was admitting to the accusations.

“then why do you smell like perfume that isn’t mine? why are you gone hours at a time without ever going to a meeting? why can’t you even do as little as look at me? why do you—“ your voice began to shake, feeling your fingers tremble with the hem of your shirt.

“you’re being paranoid, quit projecting your fucking insecurities on to me y/n. this conversation is over, now fuck off and let me relax.” he snarled, shifting his body away from your stance. he continued to play on his device, paying no mind to the girl with a river of tears pouring from her eyes.

you knew how it would end, and it always consisted of him leaving for the rest of the day. coming home the next morning, sometimes not even bothering to shower. you weren’t stupid. you could see the love bites on his scarred neck, his swollen lips, the way his sea foam colored locks were in a tangled bunch, he reeked of expensive perfume... you’d even found hair strands that weren’t either of yours. you knew, he knew that you knew, but he didn’t care that you knew.

it’s been going on since tomura was declared leader, king of this new group— the paranormal liberation front. since then, he’s put himself on such a high pedestal and his eyes began to wander. it wasn’t too noticeable at first, you thought you were just being insecure. because your boyfriend of over a year was beginning to spend less and less time with you. for the first time since you both got intimate, he stopped sleeping with you in your shared bed regularly. his often touch starved nature of wanting to be held and hold you constantly, began to stop. after a while, he wouldn’t so much as ruffle your hair anymore, or touch your back as he walked past. he stopped smiling at you.

he stopped loving you.

you noticed a specific girl with him from time to time, she was so different from you. outwardly sexy, confident, and most of all, she had him. she had beautiful emerald eyes, and dashing natural red hair. her figure was unbeatable. someone who would’ve been regularly out of his league, just due to her status, and often snobby nature. deep down, you knew that’s probably why he felt so enticed. she was unattainable. just like you had been to him once. he was always one to strive for the best, you guessed that meant lovers too.

you almost felt bad for him, considering the knowledge you had about her... she did this a lot. fucked around with higher ups as a way to gain better status, be placed in a higher rank, and get special privileges bother plf members wouldn’t originally receive. you’d heard this from dabi, she apparently tried to do the same thing to him, but he said, he “had better standards than that”.

you chuckled at dabi’s comment, you were the only one in the league he treated like a genuine friend. thankfully he could always make you crack a smile or two.

then like usual, the sadness came back.

there you were, alone in your shared apartment inside of the plf building. you sat at the edge of the windowsill in the living room, the lights were off. nothing but the distance sound of owls, wind, and branches to be heard. the moons glow to illuminate the scenery just a touch. your e/c eyes red, and glistened with the aftermath of an overbearing storm of a meltdown. your cheeks still burning, lips chapped and your hands doing anything else but standing still. since it got bad a few weeks ago with him, this is all you’ve been able to do. cry. let out your loud sobs all day, and whenever tomura was due to return, you’d go back to the way he preferred you. quiet, distant, and minding your business.

even with your quirk, your depression had led to all of the plants in each room to wilt. it’s almost poetic how accurate that displayed to your feelings— and of course, tomura didn’t even notice them.

anytime you did anything, it agitated him. there was no use in speaking, unless he was the one to initiate it. asking you what you made him for dinner, asking if you’ve seen a certain item of his, or asking you to do something for him, like stitch his tethered hoodie. sometimes telling you that he was annoyed with you being around dabi.

you began to nibble on your bottom lip again, trying to stop the fresh new wave of tears that threatened to spill. you promised yourself to not cry anymore, stop it. you stood from your spot, adjusting the simple outfit you wore. just usual long sleeve and leggings. using your sleeves to dry your face from the evidence of your overwhelming sadness. deciding that you should just take a shower, get ready for bed, and sleep. what else was there to do anyhow?

you soon felt refreshed, your heart still aches but the overwhelming pain subsided. you rested your head against the familiar scented cotton pillow case and grabbed his pillow. holding it close to your chest.

this is all i really have left of him now... wow.

—

the next day was seemingly uneventful. with a rare spotting of tomura coming in, showering, getting dressed, eating, and leaving once again. he paid you no mind the entire time. just simply glazing over your figure as you sat in different spots within the hour or two he was there. there were no words to he spoken. he didn’t even greet you when coming in. he just walked in the bedroom, rummaged around. looked at you as you were just waking up, and went about his business.

the pain settled in even more. every day it hit harder, and harder, but today, you were numb. the tears you held were all gone. you couldn’t cry, you couldn’t aimlessly sob. nothing. the core of you was empty.

“how much longer can i take of this...” you whispered to yourself tucking your knees to your chest. arms protectively wrapped around yourself.

you looked over to the once beautiful anthurium, it was completely wilted. the vibrant red petals were beginning to fall off. that plant was the one you connected the most with, it had a piece of your soul with it at this point. it would’ve been an easy fix to keep it from dying. one touch, and it would be right back to normal.

would the flower remember it’s neglect? the times you slacked on giving it water and proper daylight? would it simply forgive so easily just by your touch? can you forgive him, just by his touch?

“i don’t know.”

—

days had passed, he hadn’t come by since that night to your knowledge. sometimes you stepped out for a bit, just to clear your mind. you began to grow anxious, something was wrong. definitely wrong. you needed to know, to have some closure. every minute that passed seemed to crush you, it felt as if the world was ending.

against your better judgement, you got dressed. fixed your hair, and shakily tried to calm yourself down as you looked in the mirror. overanalyzing every single detail about your appearance, you looked like hell.

you were planning to go searching for tomura around the building. maybe even ask dabi if he had seen him. you stepped into your converse, taking deep breaths as you prepared yourself to find whatever might lie ahead. the feeling in your stomach didn’t stop churning.

one touch can’t fix it.

he won’t fix it.

he doesn’t want you.

you hugged the jacket tighter to your frame, feeling clammy and weak in the knees as you began to search around. he wasn’t anywhere you were looking, you checked everywhere you usually found him. you came across dabi before stepping into the elevator. he seemed concerned, he grabbed your shoulder before you walked away.

“y/n?” he quietly asked. his tone laced with anxiety.

“o-oh, hey.” your trembling form turned to face him. “long time no see.”

“what the fuck is going on?”

“it’s nothing, don’t worry about it—“

“don’t lie to me.” he cut you off, his voice laced with venom. he was always like a big brother figure to you, always protective and so easy to catch on. “what’s going on y/n? do i have to kill that creepy little fucking gremlin?” he snarled.

“n-no! no! it’s fine, really. i’m just uh, trying to find him that’s all.” you said sincerely. your voice wavering the entire way, stepping away from his hold on you.

“y/n don’t walk away from me, talk to me about this. you look like shit.” he called after you.

“i’m sorry.” you said in a voice so small he barely was able to grasp it. dabi just stared at you with disbelief, and anger.

—

then came the room you dreaded most. subconsciously you wanted to search it last, due to fear of what you might see.

you knew he was cheating, but you were in denial until you could see it.

you were about to give up and go back to your room before you heard a specific sound. coming from the office tomura used most often, but wasn’t always in. the way the table sounded against the wall and hardwood of the floors made your body tense, the breathless panting, the high pitched moaning... and worst of all, the sound of tomura groaning in pleasure. did your ears deceive you? bile threatened to shoot from your stomach. you eased open the office door, to a sight you wish you never saw. there was tomura, thrusting into the girl you feared and envied most. he was lost in lust, suckling, kissing, and grabbing every part of her flesh that was visible. like he used to do to you.

used to.

you stood there in horror, feeling like everything was crumbling before you. he didn’t even notice your peering eyes staring right into the depths of his soul, and hers. his groans got louder, he muttered something he hadn’t told you in such a long time. it made you want to scream so loud that your lungs bled.

“f-fuck, i— love you.”

you shakily slammed the door behind you. hard, and heavy breaths struggling to be let out, as you ran to the elevator. smashing the buttons to go back to your room. tears streaming down your face once again, you let out hushed cries, trying to regain your composure. as you ran to your room. it happened all in a daze, you loudly cried as you packed some of your things into a backpack, hating that things still smelled like him. you sobbed finding old polaroids if each other. deciding to throw the stack at the wall above the bed.

once you had everything ready, you realized something. you were still wearing a necklace he gave you a bit ago. it was a small anthurium made of ruby. you held the delicate item in your hands, debating what to do with it. the burden of owning it haunting you much more than letting it go, so that’s what you did. you placed the necklace on the counter. grabbing the notepad that was usually on the counter as well to write a quick note on top for him to find. your eyes flooded over the room, drinking it in as much as you could before leaving. all of the memories, decorating it with tomura, having sex for the first time on the bed, the first time he came home like he often did now... you felt a sob threatening to release again as you recounted the memory.

lastly you dropped the key next to the necklace, never to be seen again.

you exited the building with little hassle, tears still free falling across your face like usual. the hood of your jacket was up to conceal yourself, you wanted to leave without a trace. luckily it was late enough to do so, the only person who spotted you was spinner. for some reason he was alone by himself outside. he seemed concerned about your disheveled and unfamiliar appearance. but he didn’t utter a word to you, letting you walk out before him. you wondered what he thought of your pathetic sobbing form pacing out of the entrance.

you barely had a plan, a place to go for that matter. all that mattered now, was you.

you need to let go.

he can’t fix it this time.

don’t let him fix it this time, y/n.

>>>

tomura arrived to the apartment hours after you had left, he wasn’t expecting anything but a nice hot shower and a warm bed to sleep in. his body was sore from the steamy evening he spent with the red head. she really rocked his shit, he chuckled at the thought of her.

he didn’t bother to look around the main room, before heading straight into the bedroom. the light was on, which wasn’t that unusual. what was unusual though, was the mess around the room. the closets were wide open, pieces of film thrown all over the bed, and floor. at first he was mad, barging into the bathroom to yell at you. flipping on the light, to see nothing. you weren’t in the bathroom, or bedroom.

“y/n why did you leave everything such a mess? why did you throw pictures everywhere? what the fuck is going on?!” he called out to you. annoyed. like usual. he walked out of the bedroom, noticing finally, you weren’t here. “y/n.” he spoke sternly.

he walked cautiously around the space, looming over every detail, not able to make out your form anywhere. he remained calm but he was a bit worried, you were acting super unstable lately. though he’d never let you know that. he seemingly searched everywhere in depth, before he noticed some items on top of the island counter. switching on the light switch to get a better look. his heart sunk.

the necklace he gave you.

the beautiful ruby anthurium he gave you.

the one you wore every day since.

the one he gave to you as a promise to his love, the love he promised to be undying.

“fuck...”

along with the key to the apartment.

the one you both shared.

he noticed the note, it was written in your handwriting.

‘i hope you love her as honestly as you once loved me. i left everything behind i never want to see again. i won’t be ratting you out and i won’t be returning to you.

good bye, thanks for the memories.

y/n.’

[tcm]

Doris Day Was Far More Than Virginal By Susan King

Oscar Levant once quipped: “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”

The actor-composer-pianist-writer starred with Day in her first film, ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS (‘48), in which she played a bubbly singer. And it is true that she played 30-something-year-old virgins beginning with PILLOW TALK (‘59), the first film she made with Rock Hudson. But Levant’s comment diminishes the former band singer’s accomplishments as an actress and ignores the fact that her characters were quite modern and progressive. In fact, you could call her an early feminist.

During her “Golden Age,” which I define as between LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME (‘55) and SEND ME NO FLOWERS (‘64), she played successful career women at a time when there weren’t that many being portrayed on screen. In the George Abbott-Stanley Donen cotton candy-colored musical THE PAJAMA GAME (‘57), she’s a worker in a pajama factory, a member of the union leadership who doesn’t take any guff from her bosses. In the delightful romantic comedy TEACHER’S PET (‘58), she’s a successful journalist and college professor; in PILLOW TALK, a flourishing interior decorator; and two years later in LOVER COME BACK (‘61), she goes toe to toe with Hudson as a rival Madison Avenue ad executive. And, in the often-neglected comedy IT HAPPENED TO JANE (‘59), she’s a widowed mother of two who takes on the meaner-than-mean head of a railroad (Ernie Kovacs) when the company causes the death of 300 lobsters she was shipping.

Day’s characters were also incredibly feisty. In PILLOW TALK, the only film for which she received a Best Actress Oscar nomination, she learns that the man she’s fallen for, the shy handsome Texas Rex Stetson, is actually the womanizing composer she shares her party phone line with, so she redesigns his apartment into a gaudy mess reflecting his lothario ways. Speaking of lothario, Day’s leading men often played long-term bachelors-serial daters, like Clark Gable in TEACHER’S PET and Cary Grant in THAT TOUCH OF MINK (‘62). Her characters fall in love with them but won’t become their latest conquests. It’s actually the men who succumb to her charms and give up their womanizing ways when they fall in love with her.

Still, the virgin quote harmed her legacy. “People don’t take her seriously,” said former L.A. Times film critic Kenneth Turan in 2012. “It was a lifetime battle for Marilyn Monroe to be taken seriously; that was a battle she won. Audrey Hepburn was taken seriously. People are reluctant to take Doris Day seriously. It’s too bad.” Cari Beauchamp, a film historian and writer who specializes in the history of women in film, told me in 2012 that when she talks to people about Day “they tend to say she played the girl next door. And you look at her movies, particularly at the time of those films and she wasn’t the girl next door. She always had a backbone.”

Day was a popular singer with Les Brown and His Band of Renown, scoring her first No. 1 in 1945 with “Sentimental Journey.” Hollywood soon came knocking on her door, and she answered in the Warner Bros.’ Technicolor musical ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS, directed by Michael Curtiz, in which she introduced the Best Song Oscar nominee “It’s Magic.” Not only was she adorable and a breath of fresh air, Day seemed totally at ease in her big screen bow.

“I wanted to be in films,” she told me in 2012. “I wasn’t nervous. I just felt ‘I’m here. I am supposed to be doing this.’ I was so lucky to have such terrific actors and directors. Everything was different and everything to me was great.”

Her films at Warner Brothers were a mixed bag. She got to demonstrate her dramatic chops reuniting with Curtiz for YOUNG MAN WITH A HORN (‘50), starring Lauren Bacall and Kirk Douglas. And I also loved the Booth Tarkington-inspired musical comedies ON MOONLIGHT BAY (‘51) and BY THE LIGHT OF THE SILVERY MOON (‘53). Turan loves her musical-comedy CALAMITY JANE (‘53), in which she has a field day as the famed Wild West heroine, because “her energy is kind of irrepressible.” Day also introduced the Oscar-winning song, “Secret Love” in the freewheeling classic.

But she really came into her own when she went to MGM to do the musical drama LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME, in which she gave a tour de force performance as torch singer Ruth Etting, who has a particularly volatile marriage to a gangster (James Cagney). But she was totally ignored by the Academy and the Golden Globes. The film was nominated for six Oscars, winning for Best Motion Picture Story, with only Cagney, brilliant as Marty “the Gimp” Snyder, getting nominated for his performance.

Turan described LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME as a “provocative film. It almost defines a kind of thing that you would say: Doris Day would never do something like that. But when we say that we are thinking of the cliché Doris Day, not thinking of the actual actress who made interesting choices and interesting films.” Day also counted the hit, directed by Charles Vidor, as a career highlight. “I really loved working with Jim,” she said of Cagney, who had previously appeared with her in the disappointing THE WEST POINT STORY (‘50). “The wonderful thing is that when you have someone like him to play opposite, it’s very exciting. You just feel so much from a man like that.”

She didn’t do research into Etting’s life but went by the script and “just how I felt and what I listened to. You react. It was so well-written. It just comes out of you. I don’t know how to explain it.” But it probably wasn’t hard. Like Etting, who endured abuse at the hands of her husband, the four-time married Day was mercilessly beaten by her one husband, musician Al Jordan, the father of her only child, Terry Melcher.

Mastering drama and musicals, Day was also a fabulous comedian. Just look at her expression when Gable, as a seasoned newspaper editor, kisses her for the first time in TEACHER’S PET. She crosses her eyes and is literally weak in the knees. Or when she realizes in THAT TOUCH OF MINK that Grant wants her to share his bed when they go to a resort. It’s brilliant. And of course, she and Hudson had a chemistry few actors get to share on screen. Ironically, Day admitted she didn’t know who Hudson was when they were cast together in PILLOW TALK, even though he had been a major star for most of that decade and earned an Oscar nomination for GIANT (‘56). “Isn’t that amazing?,” she said laughing. “I thought he was just starting out. I didn’t know about the films he had made. I just loved working with him. We laughed and laughed.”

The quality of her films declined after SEND ME NO FLOWERS. Her third husband and manager, Marty Melcher, put her in poorly received comedies such as DO NOT DISTURB (‘65) and CAPRICE (‘67). He squandered her money and signed her up to do the CBS sitcom The Doris Day Show without her knowledge before his death in 1968. The series ran from 1968 to 1973.

After the series, Day went to Carmel, co-owned a pet friendly hotel there and concentrated on animal welfare. In 1985-86, she did the pet-forward TV talk show Doris Day and Friends, best remembered for guest Rock Hudson, who was suffering from AIDS. She admitted Hollywood never lured her out of retirement. “No one really said that – ‘Oh, come back.’ I was just here.’”

[kotokoharrow]

Case Study 001: Haruka Sakurai

Note that this analysis is based around my own views. I do not present my way of interpreting Haruka as fact, and I am sharing this to see if others agree with me. If you disagree, you are more than welcome to say so and we can discuss it!

Content Warning: This analysis contains discussion of: Animal abuse and death, child abuse and death, emotional abuse, child neglect, murder, flashbacks and nightmares. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Evidence List:

Haruka’s Profile

Haruka’s Voice Drama

Undercover

Weakness

Two Breaths Walking

Voice Line

Timeline Convo

Character Analysis

A young male prisoner, quiet with downcast eyes. During Es’ early interrogations, he offered only a few constrained words in response. However, he has gradually become more talkative, forming an emotional bond over the course of his interviews. Once one begins to converse with him, his gentle pre-disposition is revealed.

He has a meek temperament and, even in Milgram, does not appear to be dissatisfied. Barely manages to communicate with Es and the other prisoners. However, during conversations, as if some meaning is lost along the way, there is a disconnect.

Haruka is a teenager with a very low opinion of himself, shown in his attitude in his voice drama and the lyrics of his song. When he appears in Undercover, he is shown wringing his hands together, avoiding looking at the camera, and when he finally does shows an unhappy expression. These pieces of his body language show that he is an anxious boy.

Haruka doesn’t appear to be very bright, with his song being written in hiragana, and he struggles to follow along with everything that Es says to him in his voice drama. He even says himself that he isn’t very bright. However, this is likely a result of his mother’s treatment of him, as he hasn’t been allowed to develop as he should have.

The shot in Undercover that shows his room shows young children’s toys on the floor. This, along with his speech patterns, show that he remains in a child’s mindset, despite being 17 years old. I believe that this is due to him becoming ‘stuck’ at an age where he experienced a traumatic event as a child - the event that revolved around fireworks and the girl in his MV.

Haruka’s primary motivation is love. He was neglected and emotionally abused by his mother his whole life, and so has been deprived of the love that most people receive from their parents. Despite love being his motivation, he shows in his interrogation questions that he doesn’t really understand what it is - he just knows that he wants it.

While his primary motivation is love, Haruka’s primary fear is abandonment. He is also afraid of being deceived, which again ties into his fear of abandonment. Haruka believes that everyone will leave him when they learn what he has done, and also believes that he will bring misfortune to others. This belief of bringing misfortune to others is likely a belief that his mother gave to him.

Haruka avoids situations and things that remind him of his trauma, such as animals and small children. This, as well as imagery in his MV, his mother’s treatment of him and his general personality, lead me to believe that he experiences PTSD.

The kanji in his given name means ‘far’ or ‘distant’, which likely references his personality, and the fact that he finds it difficult to get close to and communicate with others, due to having been deprived of connections for most of his life.

MV Analysis

I believe that Weakness takes place after Haruka has committed his crimes, and that it’s showing events from his past in the form of nightmares and flashbacks, which is why they appear distorted and there is heavy symbolism. As a result of this, even what we see in the MV is ambiguous as to whether it really happened, as dreams are not always literal and even with flashback-type nightmares, key facts can appear different to what happened in reality.

At the beginning of the MV, we see Haruka sitting in front of a dressing table, looking at himself in the mirror. The table is likely his mothers, as the perfume bottles on it seem to belong to a woman. Behind Haruka, we can see a window that shows that it’s daytime, but when his reflection in the mirror changes into his younger self, we can see that it is night-time outside (with red sky and a full moon). As the image changes, I believe this is Haruka experiencing a flashback, or perhaps a sign that he is having a nightmare.

I also believe that Haruka experiences PTSD as a result of his mother being emotionally abusive and neglectful towards him. I believe that this mistreatment when he was a young child explains a lot of his current personality - his behaviour fits in well with the behaviours of people who survive emotional abuse (doubting his own perception of things, a very strong negative opinion of himself, fear of abandonment).

There are many lyrics in Weakness that I believe point towards Haruka’s mother being emotionally abusive. The notable ones to me are: ‘Tell me, why are you drifting away from me? / Tell me, why do you say it’s my fault?’ and ‘If I tried and couldn’t say it / You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless”’. I believe that these lyrics are directed at Haruka’s mother.

As for imagery in the MV, when Haruka initially falls backwards from the dressing table, he falls into the liquid from his mother’s perfume, which shows how her treatment of him has surrounded him. Later, while he’s walking alongside her happily, she barely looks back down at him, and when adult Haruka pushes his younger self back, the following image is shown:

I believe the drawing in the background is meant to be Haruka’s mother, and his cruel treatment of his younger self is meant to show that he has internalised his mother’s abuse, going on to blame and punish himself for what he believes she would blame and punish him for.

Later, it shows Haruka as a child watching the fireworks with a girl his own age, whose face is blacked out like his mother’s. While it’s not clear what exactly happened, something bad happened to the girl, and she vanished from his life.

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think that Haruka killed the girl. I think something bad happened to her - possibly she even died - and that Haruka blames himself for what happened, whether fairly or unfairly. I believe that what happened was traumatic to Haruka, and he tried to avoid thinking about the bad part by focusing on his memory of the fireworks, which is a part of his denial.

Later, Haruka is petting a dog with his mother. Then, he goes outside to search for the dog, and comes across the dog’s body. Initially, I believed that Haruka had killed the dog, and I still think that this is a highly likely theory, as yellow roses are seen (which in flower language used to represent jealousy), and the lyrics that play during this point are ‘You praised me by saying “You’re crazy” / Thank you, I’ll do my best’ which, to me, alludes to children acting out for attention when they are being neglected, because due to the lack of positive attention they begin to see all forms of attention as a good thing, including negative attention.

However, in the timeline conversations, there is an exchange between Haruka and Shidou where Haruka has bloodied hands, and he tells a concerned Shidou that it comes from a bad habit of his, that when he’s tense he clenches his fists and his nails dig into his palms, causing them to appear bloodied.

Shidou: Sakurai-kun...? Could you show me your hand? Haruka: Hei!? No, this isn’t... it’s n-nothing... Shidou: Lend it to me. ...Your palm is covered in blood. Let’s have it disinfected. This... has it always been like this? Haruka: A-ah... I-it’s a habit... W-When I feel tense I grip my hands really tight, and my nails...

This detail has caused me to wonder if Haruka didn’t actually kill the dog. We see child Haruka looking for the dog nervously, and then appearing horrified when he finds the dogs corpse, then he looks down at his hands and sees blood on them. We also only see adult Haruka bludgeoning the dog. It’s common for people with PTSD to re-experience trauma from different perspectives, or with details changed, so it’s possible that Haruka did not kill the dog.

However, at this point, I think either explanation could be possible, so I’ll leave both of those theories here and move on.

Later, when it shows adult Haruka strangling child Haruka, I believe that this is when Haruka’s Milgram murder takes place. Before he begins strangling his child self, he is seen looking at a memory of himself being ignored by his mother, and becomes enraged, lashing out at his child self and strangling him, seemingly in an act of self-loathing.

However, I believe that Haruka is actually murdering his mother, having finally snapped and let out all of his repressed feelings. After the murder is over, I believe that Haruka was so horrified by what he did, he went into denial - which is something he has practice from doing his whole life - and the details of what he did became distorted.

In conclusion, I believe the following:

The MV takes the form of Haruka’s nightmares, which is why it’s ambiguous, unreliable and distorted

Haruka was emotionally abused and neglected by his mother since childhood

Haruka didn’t kill the girl, but he does blame himself for what happened to her

EITHER: Haruka killed the dog to try and get his mother to notice him, OR Haruka didn’t kill the dog but still in some way blames himself for the dog’s death

Haruka killed his mother directly due to his repressed feelings of anger towards her for abusing and neglecting him

Haruka is horrified by what he did, and on some level is in denial of the facts of what happened

Misc Analysis

Undercover

Haruka’s bedroom has toys that would be more appropriate in the bedroom of a young child. This shows that he is mentally stuck in a child-like state. Interestingly, there is also a drawing of a tree with two snakes that also appears during his MV. I don’t know what this means.

Haruka is shown strangling Es, which backs up the idea that Haruka’s murder happened when he was shown strangling his child self. Haruka’s mouth is wide open, showing that his murder involved heightened emotion on his part. This wasn’t a cold and calculated murder, this was a spur-of-the-moment response to something.

Interrogation Questions

I’m picking a few notable interrogation questions to analyse. In general, though, Haruka’s answers were much simpler than Yuno’s, which shows his child-like mindset and difficulty in understanding things.

Q: If one of your wishes could be granted, what would it be? A: I want to be loved.

Pretty straightforwards. This shows Haruka’s core motivation is to be loved.

Q: When was your first love? A: I don’t know.

Q: What’s the difference between romantic love and just love? A: Don’t they both mean that you like someone?

Q: What’s your ideal date plan? A: I don’t understand.

Despite his core motivation being wanting to be loved, Haruka doesn’t understand much about love, due to having been deprived of it his whole life.

Q: What kind of person is your father? A: I disappointed him.

This is the only time we hear of Haruka’s father. I’d guess that his mother blamed Haruka for his father leaving them, and that’s why he believes that he disappointed his father.

Q: Have you ever had a pet before? A: I have not.

Q: What is your favourite animal? A: I don’t like animals.

Q: What are some things you can’t deal with? A: Small children and animals.

Haruka denies any incident that was traumatic to him.

Q: What do you think of your family? A: I love them.

Despite having been deprived of love from his mother, he still says he loves them.

Q: Tell us what you enjoy doing. A: I like talking with the other prisoners.

Haruka talks about what he’s been doing since coming to Milgram, which implies that he didn’t have much he enjoyed doing beforehand.

Two Breaths Walking

A song about a boy meeting a girl. The girl tries to teach the boy about life, but due to the boy’s mother having taught him about life wrongly, he struggles to understand, and as a result ends up hurting the girl.

With Haruka as the boy, the girl in his MV as the girl, and his mother as the boy’s mother, this directly parallels Haruka’s MV. There isn’t much to talk about, because the parallels are pretty direct. It backs up the idea that Haruka’s mother was abusive, teaching him wrongly through her abuse and neglect.

Voice Drama

Es: Now, let’s begin the interrogation. Prisoner Number 1, Haruka. Haruka: O-Okay… I-I’m sorry… Es: Huh? Do you have something to apologise for? Haruka: U-uh, no… I’m sorry.

This shows us Haruka’s submissive personality. This kind of apologising for any perceived fault is very common in survivors of emotional abuse, because they learnt in the abusive environment that their abuser could find fault in anything, and to lower the severity of abuse, they would apologise. However, as this level of apologising isn’t needed or expected in regular situations, when it carries over it stands out.

Haruka: Ah, uh, um… I didn’t understand whatever it was you were saying. It was difficult. Es: Huh? Haruka: Uh, um… I’m sorry. I’m not that bright. Es: Haruka. What age are you? Haruka: Um… 17 years old, I think. Es: You think? Haruka: Uh, well… I have no interest in my age… I’m sorry.

Haruka isn’t used to having to think for himself, which is also common in survivors of emotional abuse. Abusers try to make their victims dependent on them, they may try to make decisions for their victims, or in the case of abusive parents may speak for them and deprive their children of the ability to develop. Taking into account Haruka’s cover song, I think it’s likely that this was the case with his mother.

Es: The only name left that hasn’t been said is Amane. Haruka: A-Amane. Es: What’s wrong? Haruka: I-I’m not good with them. Children at that age. A-Amane is a good girl, but she brings back b-bad memories.

This is most likely referring to whatever happened with the girl in Haruka’s MV. Haruka avoids thinking about traumatic incidents, even in his nightmares he avoids the details of them. Avoiding triggers of traumatic events is a symptom of PTSD.

Haruka: It’ll happen sometime. I… I… Even though I try to be normal, everything gets ruined. You, everyone, if you knew me… If you knew everything that I did… I’m… gonna be abandoned, that’s bound to happen. Because I’m a selfish killer.

Due to his abuse, Haruka solely blames himself for everything that happens. It’s likely that his mother blames him even for things that weren’t his fault, so this thought process stuck. Haruka’s primary motivation is love, and his biggest fear is abandonment.

Glitched Voice Line

Then what should I have done instead!? Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!

I believe that this line from Haruka is addressed to his mother who he killed. He felt that he had no way to gain her love, and he is looking to her to tell him what to do.

Other Theories

Twin Theory

A theory I’ve seen says that the child in Haruka’s MV isn’t Haruka as a child, and is actually his twin. I don’t think we have any evidence to support this. I think that, given how much of Haruka’s MV is made up with abstract imagery, we should be careful with interpreting it too literally.

Autistic Haruka Theory

I have no issue with people seeing Haruka as being autistic, however, all of the theories about him being autistic seem to come from an outdated view of autism. I am autistic myself, and while I can recognise a lot of autistic traits in Haruka’s behaviour, I don’t think autism is what they were going for. I think that Haruka’s ‘autistic traits’ are, instead, supposed to show that he’s in a child-like mentality after a trauma that took place in his childhood, and that his behaviour has been strongly influenced by his abusive mother. I believe we have evidence that points towards this specifically, but no evidence that points specifically towards Haruka being autistic.

Unexplained

Why does Haruka say that his hands bleed when he’s nervous and what connection does that have to the blood on his hands in the MV?

What is the significance of the necklace that Haruka wears?

What is the significance of the girl in the MV?

What happened while watching the fireworks?

Did Haruka kill the girl?

What’s the significance of the tree and the snakes?

Final Verdict

My Verdict: Innocent.

I’m very glad that the popular vote determined that Haruka was innocent! My major reasons for this are: 

1. His MV is the most abstract right now - it’s unclear exactly what happened, so any judgement based on his crime is going to be difficult. 2. For Haruka to open up more, I think he needs to be reassured that he will not be abandoned. I think that Haruka’s second MV will give us more details, because we have reassured him that he will not be abandoned.

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long thing! I hope to write these for all of the prisoners, and eventually catch up to where we currently are with the voting! If you enjoyed my analysis, please consider sharing so it can reach a wider audience!

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Apologies

ShinoMitsu Week 2021 Day One: (Music, Seasons, Apologies) Honestly kind of seasons too a little bit.

A/N: WARNING: MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD. Writings without spoilers will begin on day four, come back then! This is probably the saddest thing I’ve ever written. Of course being me though, there is some comfort along with the hurt and a hopeful ending that will be pursued throughout the week. Hope you guys like it! Word Count: 4,280

Seriously, some major manga spoilers. Stop reading if you care! I’d hate to ruin someone’s day.

Shinobu rubbed her eyes against the harsh flash of light, blinking as the light faded into a much more manageable brightness reminiscent to that of a fair weathered day. She put a hand to her chest and took a deep breath, appreciating how easily the air rushed into her lungs without obstruction.

It was over, she had done it. With the help of Kanao and Inosuke, that demon would never eat another woman again. Shinobu was fine with being the bastard’s last meal since he had ended up choking on her in the end. Months of preparation had let up to this moment and she was grateful it hadn’t all been for nothing.

She had taken her time, ignoring the pull on her very soul. She wanted to make sure that the Demon Moon’s demise was certain. Now that he was gone, Shinobu found herself in a field of tall, green grass and wildflowers. Sakura trees were scattered around her in full bloom. Her demon slayer uniform had been replaced by an autumnal kimono that fit snugly over her body. The pattern was certainly a stark contrast to her surroundings, but she hardly minded.

The most prominent thoughts in Shinobu’s mind at the moment were related to why she was here, what was here? She felt like she was waiting for someone in this field. Her heart was heavy and her lungs felt tight. Rather than linger, she assumed it was some phantom pain left over from her final battle. She decided that she would walk to keep her mind off of it.

Each step seemed to make the very ground vibrate with energy that Shinobu could feel crawl up her skin in warm waves. She kept going and as she traveled, the scenery shifted around her.

She watched with parted lips as memories manifested around her, fading back behind her as she walked past, creating new ones beside her. If she stepped back, the older memories would rejuvenate and replay for her but she didn’t dwell long. She didn’t need any reminders of the life she left behind, she had squared away all of her business weeks ago while her body grew steadily more toxic. She had done what any person who knew they were going to die would do and took care to make sure she could pass on with no regrets.

Shinobu paused in front of one memory as muffled laughter caught her attention. It was a mundane memory of cooking with her pupils, joined by the Kamados and company. Something that they had done together several times. The smile that tugged at Shinobu’s lips was bittersweet. Yes, she had no regrets, but there was certainly a feeling of longing that she would have to learn to accept as a part of herself for however long she’d linger here.

Shinobu carried on as memories bad, pleasant and mundane came and went with no rhyme or reason to the order of their appearance. At some point she had allowed her mind to wander and the already muffled sounds devolved into white noise.

She wasn’t sure what she had expected from the afterlife, but it certainly wasn’t this. How long had she been here? Was she really expected to watch eighteen years worth of snippets from her own life? She had already lived it, it was short and painful but admittedly there was light in it too.

“Shinobu!”

She froze.

“Shinobu, doesn’t it look good? I can’t wait to try it, we did such a good job!”

“It does smell nice, doesn’t it?” Shinobu heard herself say.

She slowly turned towards the memory, she couldn’t stop herself even if she wanted to. Gods, she could never give up an opportunity to see that girl again, even if it was all in her mind.

There was Mitsuri in all her glory. The memory was of one of their baking adventures with some western recipe Mitsuri had learned.

Shinobu smiled wistfully, watching herself wipe flour from Mitsuri’s flushed cheeks before walking on, allowing the memory to dissipate.

Not long after the crack of a wooden sword snapped up her attention.

“Why are you making yourself weaker?”

Ah, Shinobu remembered that day all too well. Mitsuri had been neglecting herself and Obanai had asked Shinobu to check up on her. It was hard to see someone gifted with such strength try to throw it all away. She was glad she had been able to help Mitsuri grow to be more comfortable in her own skin and in a way, she helped Shinobu do the same.

Another step, another memory. This one stung a bit actually. She and Mitsuri had been walking through the estate gardens together while the taller girl shared her woes about not finding a man stronger than her to sweep her off her feet and marry her.

“You’re so pretty and mature, Shinobu. I bet you could get a husband—” Mitsuri snapped her fingers, “—like that! Have you ever thought about it, Shinobu?”

“Marriage is something I’ve never given much thought to.” Shinobu had said, focusing her attention on a small, white butterfly floating through the breeze.

“Really? No man has ever made your heart race before? Usually when I meet someone I like, I can’t help but picture what the wedding would be like.” Mitsuri gushed.

“Oh? Have you ever pictured one for us? You like me best, don’t you?” Shinobu teased.

Mitsuri froze for a beat before her skin lit up and her arms started flailing. Her words were tumbling over each other making them unintelligible. Shinobu managed a laugh, allowing the conversation to be pushed elsewhere. The far off look in her eyes seemingly going unnoticed by her companion.

Yes, Shinobu hadn’t put much thought into marriage. She had never really seen the appeal of the men her sister, and then Mitsuri, had occasionally gushed over, but the idea of finding someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with did sound nice.

“That was never an option,” Shinobu sighed to herself, “not for me. I hope you find someone who will treat you right when the fight is won, Mitsuri.”

She continued on, walking a bit faster. She hoped the end would come soon because the novelty of this little trip down memory lane had run dry long ago.

More memories manifested and dissolved only fast enough for Shinobu to see snippets. Kanae and herself moving Himejima-san’s boulder, taking in Kanao and the other girls, feeding her fish with Nezuko, training Tanjirou, Zenitsu and Inosuke, teasing Tomioka, cultivating poison with Tamayo, a moment with her mother and father, telling Kanao about her plan that would ultimately take her life.

It was exhausting. Shinobu just wanted to be done. She did not see reason to dwell on her life. She had no regrets. She had no unfinished business. She just wanted to move on already.

“Ah!”

Shinobu stumbled backwards as a fog grew before her, blocking her path. Before now, the visions had only ran parallel to her. The cloud swirled with light painted edges, glowing faintly until the memory surfaced. It couldn’t have been more than a week before and Shinobu’s throat felt dry as she watched herself choke back another dose of powdered wisteria seeds.

The petals would have been a relatively harmless alternative, but the toxic seeds promised a stronger reaction and she could gain more potency from one seed than hundreds of petals worth of tea. Shinobu had been careful with her dosing, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t feel it’s affects on her body.

The image of Shinobu coughed, swallowing water in an attempt to soothe her burning mouth. She groaned softly, sitting back in her chair and gingerly cupping a hand over her stomach. She closed her eyes only for them to snap open at the sound of knocking at her office door.

“Shinobu, are you working hard in there? Can I come in?” Mitsuri had called from the other side.

Shinobu winced as she sat up, wiping sweat from her forehead. She took a deep breath and it scratched her throat unpleasantly but nonetheless, she fixed a smile on her face and called Mitsuri in.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but I saw, uh, Tamayo-san, was it? I was her and her assistant retiring for the day and I thought I’d get the chance to see you then.” Mitsuri said.

“You aren’t interrupting anything, I’m glad to see you,” Shinobu motioned for Mitsuri to make herself at home and she did so with a happy hum, sitting on top of the lab table Shinobu was sitting at. “Can I do something for you?”

“Well, there was one thing,” Mitsuri began sheepishly, lightly swinging her legs as she presented her hand to Shinobu knuckles up, “I grazed my hand during a round of Hashira training and I know I could patch it up myself, but you always do it better.”

Shinobu gingerly brought Mitsuri’s hand to her face to examine the superficial damage and nodded, “I can take care of this. One moment please.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Shinobu stood, hiding her pained expression by turning her head towards the medicine cabinet she kept in her office. She walked over to it, taking an antibacterial spray and some thin bandages before turning back towards Mitsuri, watching her with those bright pastel green eyes that reminded Shinobu of spring.

She stood before Mitsuri scooping up the damaged hand once more.

“This may sting a bit.” Shinobu warned quietly before spraying Mitsuri’s knuckles.

The older girl closed her eyes, the burning, prickly feeling causing her to whine. Shinobu chuckled good-naturedly bringing the hand closer to her face almost close enough to touch her lips. She blew a gentle, cooling breath of air over the knuckles.

“Does that feel better?” She asked.

“Yes, thank you,” Mitsuri blushed, looking down, “I’m sorry, that was childish of me.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Shinobu said seriously.

She finished wrapping Mitsuri’s hand and held it between her own. Shinobu looked up, a tired smile on her face.

“All done.”

“Shinobu, you look so tired. Are you well?” Mitsuri asked, looking concerned.

“I’m fine. The research I’m doing with Tamayo-san is just very involved and intricate.”

“I wish there was something I could do to help,” Mitsuri frowned.

“It refreshes me just to see you.” Shinobu had said without thinking. “Your vibrance warms me like the sun.”

“Really?” Mitsuri squeaked, her hands cupping her own cheeks as they bloomed pink.

Shinobu felt her own skin prickle as blood buzzed through her ears. She held firm though, even if she hadn’t planned to say something so... poetic, she did mean it. In fact, she had more she’d like to say. Ever since she had began her doses, she had become more and more aware of her mortality. The final fight was fast approaching.

“Really.” She replied simply.

“Aw, Shinobu!” Mitsuri launched herself into Shinobu’s arms, making Shinobu have to take several quick steps backwards to keep them both upright. “You’re making my heart go, ‘bwahh woo!’”

“Is that a good thing?” Shinobu giggled.

“Very!” Mitsuri nodded vigorously.

Mitsuri held Shinobu for a few minutes, humming and swaying. She really was like the sun. Shinobu could fall asleep standing up if it was in Mitsuri’s warm embrace.

Unexpectedly, Shinobu was lifted over Mitsuri’s shoulder causing her to release a surprised gasp. The position was uncomfortable for her stomach but it hardly registered in comparison to being carried by the taller girl.

“Mitsuri, what are you doing?”

“Taking you to bed. You’re so tired you almost fell asleep just then.”Mitsuri cooed.

“I can walk...”

“Let me be your legs for a little bit. It’s me paying you back for always helping me.”

Whatever methods Shinobu tried to use to coax Mitsuri to put her down proved futile. She simply strode through the halls humming and waving at any passerby she happened to see. Shinobu was embarrassed, but couldn’t bring herself to be angry. Not when Mitsuri was so genuinely happy.

Before long, they made it to Shinobu’s room. Mitsuri put her down and helped her get ready for bed. There was a part of Shinobu that disliked the treatment. It made her feel small and weak. There was another part of her however, that was desperate to keep Mitsuri close and if the older Hashira wanted to help her pick her sleep ware and brush her hair she would take it.

Before Mitsuri left, she even went as far as to tuck Shinobu in, stopping with her face close enough to Shinobu’s that she feared the Love Pillar could find every insecurity she ever held in her eyes. Mitsuri tucked back a swatch of Shinobu’s hair.

“Shinobu... sleep well, okay?” Mitsuri said after a moment.

“I will, thank you for bringing me here.” Shinobu nodded, her eyelids already drooping.

“Whenever you need.” Mitsuri smiled.

Before Mitsuri could leave Shinobu felt compelled to speak, to share that part of herself that she had been keeping from her friend.

“Mitsuri...” Shinobu paused, her throat clenched and sweat recollected on her brow. She was suddenly frightened.

“Yes?”

“... be safe.” Shinobu said instead, her heart ached at the sweet smile Mitsuri flashed her.

“I will. See you soon Shinobu.”

Then she left and the room was bathed in darkness.

Shinobu clutched at her kimono and fell to the otherworldly grass beneath her. Shinobu didn’t have any regrets. She refused to. What was the point of looking back on things she had no power to change? She didn’t want to be here anymore and the white noise of the memories around her only seemed to grow louder and louder until she couldn’t bottle it anymore and clutched her head tightly between her hands and screamed,

“Shut up!”

The sound dissipated.

“Enough!” Shinobu breathed raggedly.

Whatever sounds remained were carried off like whispers on the wind as if spooked by the Hashira’s sharp tone. Shinobu stayed glued to the ground, her hands migrating from her ears to cover her eyes instead as she tried to reign in her emotions. Why, she wasn’t sure. There wasn’t much reason to keep her feelings under wraps anymore, but one simply doesn’t swallow down their boiling blood for years and then stop, even in death apparently.

She fell onto her back, stretching out as best she could in the kimono she was wearing. She noticed for the first time that the sky was blank, just empty, uniform white that looked cold despite its brightness. It hardly matched rich greens of the tall grasses or the colorful wildflowers, the vibrant pink blossoms that fell from the trees.

After laying back for so long, Shinobu was beginning to think that this was it. She was destined to be stuck here forever. She sighed, there could be worse places. She felt a shiver roll through her body as the air changed suddenly, but she simply rolled to her side.

“...?”

Shinobu blinked, sitting up on her elbows to peer through the tall brush curiously. She thought she had heard something, but it sounded far off whatever it was. She shook her head and laid back down. It was probably just some remnants of her memories.

“...!”

Still indistinguishable, but louder. Shinobu’s brows creased and she forced herself to stand, looking for the source in earnest now.

A ways off, she thought she could see a figure in the sakura tree grove. She rubbed at her eyes. Her mind had to be playing tricks on her. No one else could possibly be here. Why would there be? Whatever it was, it seemed to turn in Shinobu’s direction and noticed her as well. Much like Shinobu, the entity didn’t seem to know what to think of her but appeared to be cautiously making its way towards her.

Shinobu decided to move forward as well to meet them halfway. She was already dead, what was the worst that could happen? As she got closer it became glaringly obvious who the figure was supposed to be. Even though she was still a ways off, Shinobu would recognize that watermelon toned hair anywhere.

Shinobu stopped moving. Trying to process what this meant. Some other way to torment her perhaps? When she had first arrived, she felt like she was waiting for someone and that feeling was slowly dwindling down the closer they got. It was a feeling that chilled Shinobu’s blood.

The figure must have noticed she had stopped moving because now they appeared to be running, running as best as they could in the flowery kimono they were sporting.

Shinobu felt an urge to run in the opposite direction but her feet stood frozen to the ground as the person got closer and closer until Shinobu could hear her yell,

“Shinobu! Oh my gods, Shinobu!”

Shinobu stared wide-eyed watching Mitsuri run up to her with tears glistening in her eyes, her cheeks wet and flushed from the excursion. Mitsuri was a beautiful vision Shinobu couldn’t take her eyes away from and then, Mitsuri tripped and fell to the ground with an audible, ‘oomph!’, disappearing into the tall grass.

Slowly, Shinobu’s brain started working again and her feet moved on their own accord until she was kneeling beside the other girl. Her hands hovered just above her, afraid to touch.

Mitsuri had no qualms about it however, and made quick work sitting up on her knees to embrace Shinobu tightly while tears continued to smear down her cheeks.

Slowly, Shinobu hugged back. She couldn’t help herself. Even if this was just some hallucination, she felt compelled to comfort her.

“Shinobu, I was so sad! I heard a crow report your death while I was fighting. I thought I’d never see you again and I felt really terrible.” Mitsuri cried, clutching tightly to Shinobu’s kimono. Afraid that if she let go, the younger girl would disappear.

What happened? What was this? Shinobu couldn’t understand. She shook her head, Mitsuri couldn’t truly be here. She was going to live on because she was strong. She was going to find love and get married like she always wanted. She wasn’t supposed to be here with her.

“You weren’t supposed to die.” Shinobu said aloud, her voice wavered slightly.

“And you were?” Mitsuri sniffled, another tear rolling over her cheek. “What happened Shinobu?”

“I... I faced the demon who killed my sister. He devoured me, but at a price. Kanao and Inosuke finished him off.”

“At a price, what do you mean Shinobu?”

Shinobu turned her head away, “I had been dosing my body with poison for months before the battle. It was the best way to assure my victory in the end.”

“You were planning that all this time. I knew something wasn’t right but I didn’t even try find out what was wrong,” Mitsuri wiped her nose with her sleeve.

“I hope you aren’t blaming yourself, I wouldn’t have told you even if you asked what I was up to. You had your own demons to fight.”

“But I wanted to be there for you! I remember how tired you looked the last time I got to see you. I thought we had more time, but then... Oyakata-sama and the explosion. I thought we had more time.” Mitsuri repeated through shaky breaths.

“Mitsuri...” Shinobu frowned. She had convinced herself years ago that she was on borrowed time, but Mitsuri had never seen it like that. Had it been cruel of her not to share her intentions?

“There was so much I wanted to do with you, so much I wanted to say that I didn’t even realize until I knew you were gone,” Mitsuri loudly sniffled again and Shinobu frowned into her shoulder, “I didn’t have time to mourn you properly, I had to keep fighting for everyone. I had to help fight Kibutsuji with everything I had so no one we lost died in vain.”

“You fought against Kibutsuji?” Shinobu asked, feeling a mixture of awe with a sting of, what, envy for making it that far? Sympathy for having to forge forward as comrades fell around her?

“I, uh, ripped his arms off actually.” Mitsuri exhaled a weak laugh at Shinobu’s expression. “It wasn’t enough, obviously, but after that it was... pretty much over for me.” Mitsuri sat back a bit, one hand over her chest while the other cupped her head. The wounds she sustained were gone, but their effects were still faintly felt.

Shinobu gently took hold of the hand Mitsuri held to her head, placing it on her lap with a comforting squeeze.

“You gave your all. You should be proud of yourself, I know I am.”

“Thank you,” Mitsuri wiped her eyes with her free hand. “We did it Shinobu, I was kind of already out of it by then, but Iguro-san told me we won, that Kibutsuji was defeated.”

“That’s... that’s really wonderful to hear. That’s honesty incredible news.” Shinobu smiled warmly whilst tears stung the corners of her eyes.

“I wish we could have seen it together, Shinobu. The world without demons.” Mitsuri kept a brave smile, but it was a watery one. She pulled her hand tentatively back up to her tear stained face, still holding Shinobu’s hand so it was cupped between her own hand and cheek, “I wish we could have done a lot of things together.” She confessed in a cracked whisper.

“Mitsuri?” Shinobu searched her face, trying to understand, but if the tightness in her chest was anything to go by, she already did.

“Shinobu, I love you! I love you a lot and I’m so upset that I didn’t tell you before. I’m so sorry!”

Shinobu simpered and brushed her captive thumb across Mitsuri’s cheek.

“You actually told me quite often how fond you were of me. You needn’t apologize, I always knew you looked upon me favorably.” Shinobu comforted. Mitsuri shook her head.

“I’m in love with you!” Mitsuri spoke with conviction, her pastel green eyes sprung fresh tears like a spring shower.

Shinobu’s lips parted in surprise.

“I wanted to tell you, really tell you, but I was so scared you wouldn’t like me at all anymore if I told you. I thought, the more time we spent together, maybe I’d find the courage to tell you... Oh, Shinobu,” Mitsuri reached her sleeve out to the other girl and gently wiped her face. Shinobu hadn’t realized she was crying.

Once she fully registered it, it was like a damn had burst.

As Shinobu’s breathing become more labored, erratic, Mitsuri pulled her to her chest and Shinobu clung tightly to her kimono. Years worth of anger and pain came in the form of hot tears. She couldn’t help but think of Kanae in her final moments, telling her to find love, to grow old and have a happy life. Even if she had tried to do what her sister had asked of her, it was always meant to end in tragedy.

“I love you too, so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to tell you.”

“If I don’t need to apologize, then you shouldn’t either. It’s alright, it probably would have hurt more, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, it still hurts pretty damn bad.” Shinobu replied with a shuddering laugh and Mitsuri gave a weak giggle of her own.

They sat quietly for awhile in each other’s embrace, letting the rustling of the grass fill the silence between them. They could feel it, something was pulling at them, exhausting them as they tried to hold onto each other as long as possible. Whatever this supernatural intervention was, it seemed to be coming to an end. Mitsuri spoke up again, sounding quite fatigued as she ran her hand through Shinobu’s hair.

“Shinobu, if we were reborn again in the world without demons, could we try being together the way we only dreamed to be?”

“Of course, I’d love nothing more.” Shinobu whispered, reaching up to cradle Mitsuri’s face once more. Her arms felt heavy like lead.

Mitsuri hadn’t the strength to keep herself upright and slowly sunk in the direction of Shinobu’s body until their foreheads met. Shinobu, unable to keep them both up, fell to her back with Mitsuri flat on top of her.

“I’m really tired,” Mitsuri’s eyes drooped. She snuggled her nose into Shinobu’s neck.

“Yes, it won’t be long now.” Shinobu wasn’t really sure what it was, but it felt familiar.

“Shinobu, could I give you a kiss before I go to sleep?”

“Yes, please.”

With a grunt of effort, Mitsuri rose herself up slightly on wobbly elbows and bumped noses with Shinobu who was fighting to keep her eyes open. With perhaps a bit more force than intended, Mitsuri’s lips met Shinobu’s.

The kiss was ever so soft and a tad salty. It was rather short, but filled with loving intent. Mitsuri’s arms gave out and she came back down over Shinobu with a light grunt, her forehead bumped against Shinobu’s cheek. With a bit of effort, Shinobu turned her head, resting another kiss over Mitsuri’s hair, the other girl could hardly make a sound but Shinobu could tell she was pleased with the small affection.

It could have been a trick of her blurred vision, but Shinobu swore the once blank sky was now bathed in blue, a large, bright sun shining over them.

Shinobu smiled and allowed her eyes to finally fall completely shut, confident that she and Mitsuri would find each other again and enjoy the product of their hard work and sacrifice in another life.

[sunnysviolin]

aaaa im in love w/ how u write hero and mari <333 do u have any new headcannons?

Augh! These kids.....these kids...I’m emo because I’ve been looking at the art that I commissioned from @enigmaticallyartful and it’s hurting my heart and getting me in my Hero feels. I’m gonna write some stuff on Heromari and then try to get back to the bigger chapter stuff I’m working on (Not Omori sorry y’all...I’ve been neglecting my BNHA fic and I got a super nice comment on it today, so I’m gonna try to put something out for that!!) Also this is such a side note, but I have to literally go back and read my stuff now because I don’t know what I’ve talked about on here before...lmaoooo this is it

Completely inspired this by @luvbunnz art...but let’s talk homecoming headcanons. I know your art was prom fits Ro, but let’s consider :O

So I’m going off of the really sad idea that Mari died in her sophomore year, so she would never be able to go to prom. She was able to go to Homecoming though, and she went both in her Freshman and Sophomore years with Hero. 

Homecoming is a little more lowkey compared to Prom, so she and Hero aren’t concerned about like looking polished and perfect. Sophomore Homecoming Mari dresses in one of her favorite more formal black dotted sundresses, a red bow standing out in her night dark hair. Hero wears complimentary black blazer over a white button up, his sleeved bunched at his elbows. He forgets to get her a corsage, and she doesn’t care. 

So much of their lives is dedicated to perfection, the greatest gift they can give each other is to let their love be imperfect. With one another they don’t need to be the best, they just need to be there. 

Still that doesn’t deny their natural charm and pretty looks. They are probably one of the best looking couples there that night, and the effortlessness of their beauty together is both heart warming and jealousy inspiring. 

They spend the entire night dancing. They jump around, they do silly stupid line dances, and they share a few perfect slow dances that are little more than just holding one another and swaying. By this point they’re both working so hard that they almost never see each other alone. Anytime they spend together is also spent with the kids, so having this night just for them...it’s exactly what they needed. 

Rather than getting picked up from school, Hero and Mari decide to walk back home. Mari’s sensible heels are killing her after hours of dancing, so Hero carries her home on his back. Her hair spills over his shoulder as she leans down to whisper and laugh in his ear, and he doesn’t know if he ever wants this night to end. He wonders if he could just pause the world here with his girl under the stars. 

Hero makes a detour and takes them to their secret spot in the park. They sit on the dock together under the full moon and the stars and chat together for hours. Months later after he loses her, Hero tries desperately to remember what they had spoken about, but it’s all gone. They end up falling asleep at the dock, and wake up just as the sun begins to rise in a panic. They sneak into Hero’s house through the back door and quickly make a fake bed on the couch that Mari definitely slept in

Kel covers for them and says that Hero and Mari came home late last night and fell asleep. Hero was definitely in bed when he got up this morning. Hero makes him homemade lunches for a month as a thank you. 

Okay so remember when I said that Hero only watches Grave of the Fireflies alone? I lied. He watched it with Mari.  

This was in their teen years. I HC that Hero was already having like normal teenage struggles before he lost Mari. He has a lot of pressure on him, and look being 15 sucks. 0/10 would not recommend. He’s stressed, tired, everything seems to make him angry, and he can’t understand why. There are times that Hero gets exceptionally unlike himself, so they have a system that the two of them started just after they both turned 15. 

They would send Kel to have a sleepover with Sunny and they would make a nest of blankets and pillows in front of the TV in Hero’s house. She would cook dinner instead of him (usually pasta because Mari was good at baking but not super skilled at cooking) and they would take it and eat in front of the TV. 

They don’t pull out their backpacks, they don’t mention homework or school or college prep. They don’t let themselves think about all the things pressing down on them.

They usually didn’t talk a lot on those nights actually, but listening to the music and watching the movie was usually able to bring down the walls Hero built up between them. Nights like this are bad, but they’re also good because they end with his head in her lap, her fingers in his hair, and the tension finally leaving his shoulders and spine. 

((After Mari dies memories of those nights sours. Hero feels sick and selfish. Mari had been hurting so badly and he hadn’t even noticed. She had taken so many nights soothing his ridiculous dramatics, and he hadn’t even seen she needed him just as badly. Grave of the Fireflies becomes his Mari movie, and that never changes.))