#I didn't recognize the other voice...
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mawspiral · 2 years ago
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ok but who’s this mr collins shshd
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unboxeddoll · 1 month ago
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This isn't going to be a fun post to read, but Nikola Orsinov is a transmisogynistic character, even if Jonathan Sims didn't set out to depict a trans woman when he created her. I find her interesting, but it would be ignorant of me to not recognize her narrative of "former man traumatically robbed of his former identity and dignity to become a woman for the needs of another man, who now steals and wears from the bodies of others with the intentions of deceiving others and it's all very scary" as a microcosm of the narratives that plague trans women. Narratives that condemn their existence as something that cannot be willful, cannot be without the intention to deceive, cannot be without the intention to harm. I had hoped to engage with her character critically, but the Magnus fandom only plays into Jonathan's implicit transmisogyny. I don't intend to participate in that.
The human population cannot be divided into Bigots and Not-Bigots; bigotry is not something only specific Bad Individuals are capable of committing. Bigotry is also not always an obvious and actively hateful action. The thing about bigotry that is upheld by a society is that expressions of said bigotry, especially subtle ones, including unintentional ones, will be dismissed and accepted as par for the course, the harm done considered a negligible factor. Even if individual fans don't consider themselves Transmisogynists, even if individual fans are not writing fanfictions in which Nikola Orsinov pretends to be a human, cissexual woman to harm a human, cissexual woman, individual fans still take transmisogynistic actions in regards to attempting to engage with her character.
Nikola never states dissonance with her identity as a woman. Where do fans confidently gather the idea that she would identify as non-binary? She isn't human, but neither is Breekon or Hope; why are their identities as men never questioned? Nikola is only ever referred to with she/it pronouns, with "it" most notably used by Breekon and Hope, who are the only people the Archivist interacts with who were present for her creation. Why do fans question her pronouns, and gather the idea to refer to her with "they" or even "he"? Again, this disbelief in her gender canon is not applied to characters with comparable situations in terms of identity: Nikola was created from Joseph, but Helen was also created from Michael. Why aren't Helen's pronouns questioned?
I could write more, but I'll stop now before I further the impression that my intentions are to shame anyone. They aren't. Though, writing this post had me thinking. What would the reaction be had I decided to criticize any Asian character Jonathan has written? Some would become defensive, and deride my words as scolding. Others would recognize such protest as the prioritization of not being A Racist over not participating in racism, intentionally or not. If it would benefit the fandom to learn from criticisms of racism within the Magnus Archives, then there is little reason to expect otherwise in regards to criticisms of transmisogyny.
EDIT: Since revisiting her episodes, I've remembered that others (notably Jon) refer to her with it/its pronouns as well. Still, my point regarding the uncertainty of her pronouns stands. She uses she/her pronouns, and otherwise is spoken of with it/its pronouns, so there is still no canon evidence for they/them or he/him.
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llycaons · 2 months ago
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and now what. I'm just supposed to go back to listening to my stupid comedy podcast now. like I love it but the tone is going to be such a whiplash
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flowerakatsuka · 3 months ago
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i don't know how well-versed you are with the japanese language but i'm curious so i thought i'd ask it anyway: what pronouns would kuroba use for themself?
i'm not super well-versed in japanese, but i do some rudimentary knowledge about things like honorifics or pronouns! i mentioned it very briefly on their af page, but kuroba would use " boku " when referring to themself. they've always felt more comfortable using it over more feminine-assigned pronouns like " atashi. "
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randoimago · 1 year ago
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Do you guys ever look up voice actors and then lose your goddamn mind because I have and currently am.
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epicfranb · 11 months ago
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I love how the moment there is a slightest problem or disagreement, Joel and Lizzie are instantly like I wANT A DivORCe!!!!!! IT'S SO FREAKING FUNNY
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magentagalaxies · 1 year ago
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re-editing some stuff for the buddy cole doc trailer rn (bruce sent me his notes and they were all very good just a few changes to make it even better) and i keep thinking about how one of my professors who knew kith last year one time interrupted me in the middle of telling him a toronto story after class and was like "y'know you actually remind me a bit of bruce. you have very similar speech patterns" and now as i'm having to hear my voice and bruce's voice back to back on this editing timeline i'm like oh shit we do talk similarly
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aspiringroleplays · 1 year ago
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@maregiis
Dhampires were nocturnal creatures by nature, and Sora fought it as hard as he could. He loved the sun and craved the business of the day time, even if he had to wear a ton of sunscreen now just to go out.
But every now and then, he couldn't sleep at night. And couldn't resist the sun's warm rays to lull him into a nap. At least he had found a place somewhat secluded away from people.
This universe was strange, so unlike his own. This was not a universe of demons and angels. This was one of heartless and.... whatever else was here. Where light and darkness manifested itself as physical forces, that preyed upon the heart and it's weaknesses one corner at a time.
And boy, did Sora have a lot of weaknesses.
Sora stirred in his sleep, plagued by images that were not his usual nightmares. Normally he felt rage. Fury at his sire, the one who had killed him and turned him into this. Hate for the vampires that hunted him and wanted him dead. Disgust at himself, for tolerating the monster he'd become.
But this time those feelings only briefly passed through, weaving through his thoughts like fish jumping through a river. The ones he mostly felt was...
Despair.
Grief for the family and life he'd lost. Pain from realizing he'd never be reunited with his parents again, even in the afterlife. Horror from the weight of the lives he'd taken- both from hunger, and to defend himself.
And most importantly-
"Don't do anything until I get there!-"
In his dream he'd burst into tears- but as he awoke and swung up to a sitting position he was dry-eyed, just agonized over the flashback he'd had to endure. The burst of emotions had pushed his traits out, and he was too distraught to pull them back in. Claws and fangs, long ears and stout nose- features and traits of a hunter for human blood. And his eyes, normally a golden color, glowed briefly the color of fire, the flash of pain bringing everything to the forefront.
But then he was shocked, head swiveling to face the one that had been approaching him in his sleep. Like a cruel joke, the familiarity struck him in pain, the shards of his broken heart stabbing painfully into his being. He had asked the witch for an escape from his world, because he couldn't bear the idea of being on the same plane as her as he pursued his goal of getting strong enough to kill his sire and himself.
And yet there she was, her face and scent unmistakable.
"-I want to see that monster suffer myself!"
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"Kairi..." he whispered.
The last person he'd ever wanted to see.
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townofcrosshollow · 2 years ago
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Idk man if you're constantly talking about your crushing loneliness and feelings of being ostracised and left out when you ostensibly have a bunch of friends around you then maybe the feelings of loneliness aren't the problem there
#i would always feel really empty and distant and 'act out' after our hangouts#and i always framed it as like 'i get the high when i'm around people and then i crash afterwards'#and didn't really consider that maybe sitting in a vc for 4 hours feeling left out while other people have fun is just soul sucking#it was always framed as my behaviour that was the problem. 'you did this and you did that.' so i just kinda internalized that#if i felt like shit it must be my fault. everybody knows i'm the one who causes problems so i'm just causing more problems#if i say that something made me uncomfortable and the response is 'i wont make accomodations and how dare you even ask' it must be my fault#idk. we filled out consent forms in the game i'm really not excited to play and i was reminded that nobody ever asked my consebt#and when i tried to advocate for myself and voice that i wasn't consenting it was treated like i was causing problems by trying to say that#and i saw that as a reasonable reaction at the time cause i had been so deeply convinced that i was broken and horrible#that if i was trying to revoke my consent or even just negotiate it then i was ruining everything for everybody else#that if i was uncomfortable with what was going on i needed to just shut up and live with it#i wish i had realized that and dropped out months ago. maybe that could have preserved some semblance of my relationships with those people#far too late for that now. i'm trying to accept that#and all that effort was wasted anyway#i tried to say once that i was putting in a massive amount of effort and i felt like nobody was recognizing that fact#and i still kind of feel that way#i put hours of mental energy into trying to be enough for people who kept demanding more from me and kept giving me less in return#did that do me any good or did it just cause me 3 months of grief and an empty bank account from therapy?#the problem is that i still wish things had turned out better even though i know i had no control over that#if i had kept advocating for myself it just would have been over far faster. i guess that might have spared me a bit of money#if i tried to talk about the problems it would have just been dismissed with some quick quippy therapy phrase amounting to 'not my fault'#we're already living in the universe where i put all my effort into changing in the ways i was told to change and look how well that went#idk. the attitude was never 'let's fix the problems.' it was always 'you need to fix it.' and then when i did it was#'now there's a new problem. fix that one too. and this one. and that one.'#and to do all that work for somebody and then be told they thought you never even cared about them. man it just stings#idk. it's in the past now. but i can't build new relationships. i'm trying and it's impossible#i try meeting new people and they all suck. i try strengthening relationships with old people and they all get too busy or leave.#the only reason i post these things on tumblr is cause i don't have anybody else to talk to about it#the only person i could talk to has their own shit going on. there really just isn't anybody else#personal
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yourknightinshiningplastic · 10 months ago
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guy from show I used to be not normal about in mystery incorporated and I didn't even RECOGNIZE HIM
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pyreflydust · 2 months ago
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Cannot believe the current frontrunners are "I agree with every diagnosis I've gotten" and "Never been professionally diagnosed with a mental illness" Cannot believe people genuinely live those ways.
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
#my primary diagnosis is depression it's considered my disability#but it's mostly just caused by a bunch of other things including other mental illnesses not being dealt with very well#so that's a so-so#I don't have ptsd I've experienced zero trauma and if you tell me I've experienced trauma I will throw grapes at you#nothing I've ever experienced has been bad enough to count#I sure as fuck don't have bipolar but that might've been a misdiagnosis for what should've been bpd#which I wouldn't have entirely disagreed with#can't really fault the person who labeled me with psychotic depression at least not entirely#if someone had interrogated my 'hearing voices' claim better I could've learned they were intrusive thoughts#speaking of which that person who said in the test I showed clinically significant signs of ocd and then didn't give me that diagnosis#because she was so fucking stuck on 'non-verbal learning disorder' which isn't even a professionally recognized diagnosis afaik#and is just a weirdly specific autistic subtype or something#was absolutely fucking wrong about everything but the adhd (and the ocd she chose to ignore)#I appreciate this is the autism website but if you tell me I'm autistic the grapes I throw at you WILL be moldy#and I mean the anxiety isn't wrong either it's just that it's like the depression#years and years of not dealing with the adhd or the dysphoria or the life circumstances made me depressed and anxious!#especially for all the time I coped with those things by isolating and not dealing with being a human being!!!!!!!
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all4yoi · 3 months ago
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𝒥ust a bet﹕hyung line
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𝑒nhypen x fem!reader ︎︎⚹︎ cw: angst, no fluff (yet), reader is mostly viewed as a loser and nerd, lowercase intended, kinda went overboard with hoon's, reader gets called a bitch once, not proofread!
sypnosis﹕after a few months of dating, you find out you were just a bet.
part two !
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★ LEE HEESEUNG (wc 0.3k)
you and lee heeseung has been dating for a total of five months, and throughout those months you can confidently say that you were the happiest. he was the perfect boyfriend, his family loved you and so did yours.
today, heeseung promised he would take you on a date after his basketball practice despite your protests on how he should be resting instead. you wouldn't have agreed if it weren't for the fact that he had shot you with his pleading big doe eyes that never fails to make you agree on whatever he asks for. 
so here you were, making your way towards the gymnasium with your bag hanging on your left shoulder. the lack of dribbling and smacking basketball noise from behind the closed doors told you that their practice was done.
entering quietly out of habit, you were about to approach your boyfriend when you overheard his teammates talking to him.
"don't tell me you're still with her?" asked one of boys, an amused smile on his face. heeseung only raised a brow.
"what? you won the bet, you can dump her now. you're ruining our image you know? plus she's a total nerd and loser, you're much better with someone like yunhee." and with only just a few words, you felt your world crashing down.
right, who would date someone like you? you always found it weird, that heeseung just approached you one day in your biology class with the cheekiest smile on his face. the fact that he wouldn't leave you alone until you've agreed to go on a date with him. it all made sense now, why the popular basketball captain suddenly gained interest on the school's "biggest nerd."
"speaking of.." another guy spoke, nodding towards you with a cheeky smile. heeseung turned around only to be met with your glassy eyes.
you didn't move, wanting to hear him defend you. wanting to tell his teammates that you weren't a bet and he actually liked you throughout the months you two have been dating.
his silence said everything and with that you turned away and ran out of the gym.
"shit." he muttered, running after you.
★ PARK JONGSEONG (wc 0.3k)
"i'll pick you up later, okay?" your boyfriend of almost a year said softly through the phone. you've been dating jay since the first week of your first year in uni, others found your relationship weird. maybe because back in high school, jay never and refused to even spare you a glance. he was an asshole who looked at you as if you were the epitome of disgusting.
but the past is in the past now, right?
"okay baby, see you." you reply and put your phone down on your table, knowing that he's usually the one who ends the call.
you go back to the papers scattered on your table. the silence in your room was disturbed by sudden noises in your phone, turning to look, you see that jay hasn't ended the call.
picking your phone up with a smile, you were about to call out for him but a voice stopped you.
"i can't believe you've gone this far dude." you recognized the slightly muffled voice, it was a friend of jongseong's.
"what do you mean?" your boyfriend grumbled. the audio was muffled, you figured he was moving and the phone was in his pocket.
"you're still dating her!" the voice exclaimed, as if amused. "seriously, i didn't think you'd take that bet seriously. fine you win, i'll clean your car for a month. but you've gotta cut it out, you're starting to disgust me." the boy laughed.
before you could hear what your boyfriend would say, you ended the call. your hand was trembling and tears were falling from your eyes unconsciously.
were all those months just a joke to him? were your feelings really worth a free car wash for just a month? were you that unworthy?
jay was an asshole back in high school, you thought he changed. turns out he didn't, you felt like a fool for falling for his antics.
★ SIM JAEYUN (wc 0.3k)
if someone would be asked who you were, they'd all say the same thing. a loner, pathetic loser, and a nobody with a pretty face.
because what was a pretty face if you had no friends and a social life?
you almost believed you would die alone, you were too socially awkward to make friends. so when sim jaeyun, the transferee, approached you with a warm smile and a hand outstretched for a shake, you were beyond shocked.
your relationship went from being block mates, friends, then next thing you knew you two were dating. at first you were reluctant to enter a relationship, scared that it would ruin your friendship, but he insisted you both tried. that was three months ago.
you didn't have any friends, but atleast you had jake.
jake who smiles at you as if you had carved the stars in your hands. jake who would never forget to bring your coffee every morning. he was everything you ever needed. he was it for you, you only hoped he felt the same towards you.
walking through the hallway of the school, you stopped infront of your locker only to be met with a sticky note on it.
HOW LONG CAN JAKE LAST WITH LOSER L/N?
A WEEK : 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - 卌 - III
FIVE MONTHS : 卌 - I
A YEAR : II
Furrowing your brows, you stare at the note as your breathing grew heavy. It was obvious that the paper was old, it had folds and it was only stuck on your locker with a washi tape.
"what are you doing l/n? go on, cast your vote." a mocking voice said from beside you followed by a bunch of laughter. "personally, i thought he'd last a day. i guess i'll vote for five months then." then the hand went and tallied on the five months category.
"what's going on here?" upon hearing your boyfriend's voice, you fled away immediately, not wanting to face him. everytime something good happens in your life, it's always ripped away from you. jake was just like them, you were just a toy for their own entertainment.
★ PARK SUNGHOON (wc 0.5k)
"i'm sorry baby, i really am busy with practice tomorrow." your boyfriend, sunghoon, says in genuine sorry. it was the fifth time you have asked him to meet your parents, who also by the way was so desperate to meet the boy you've been dating for seven months now.
every time you ask him, he's always busy. either with practice, a project, a family matter, or whatever excuse he can come up with. but you always brush it off, knowing he means well and he really is busy as he's an athlete student.
"i'll meet them next week, okay? i promise." that's also the same thing he says everytime too, and once again, you only nod in response.
you and sunghoon met in a physics class. he was clutching his head with a frown on his face as he desperately tried to understand what the professor was going on about.
you remember clearly the way he approached you in the library, a physics book on his left hand as his right scratched his nape. "can.. i noticed- uh, can you help me with this topic?"
that was where your relationship started. you tutored him and helped him improve his grade. when he got an A on the finals, he kissed you on the lips in glee. he was taken aback by his own actions but nevertheless asked you out after.
"i love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your temple. "let me get something from my room." you hum in response as he takes his arm that was previously wrapped around you before going up to his room.
you can't help but notice the way his phone was blowing up from beside you.
you weren't the type to snoop around other people's phones, especially your boyfriend. it just felt wrong, you trusted him fully. but the way it kept ringing with text notifications, you just couldn't help it.
looking back to the stairs, you note he isn't back and there was still rummaging noises from his room.
taking his phone, you enter his passcode and read the messages from one of his group chats.
JONGSU
lol don't tell me she asked again.. em ba rrah sing
DAEHYUN
hahah when is she gonna take a hint?? 💀
JOON
you gonna blame her? hoon's been at it for months lmao
DAEHYUN
i actually can't believe he went that far, wasn't it only supposed to be for a month? 🗿
JONGSU
a week actually, but ig that bitch y/n was so easy. yk hoon likes to get his ego fed 💀💀
putting the phone down, you exhaled in disbelief. you took your bag from the floor and threw it over your shoulder and went to the door of his apartment to put your shoes back on.
"baby?" sunghoon emerged from the stairs, looking at you curiously. "you're going already?" he asked, extending an arm towards you but you slapped it away. the tears on your eyes shocking him.
"hey, hey what's wrong?" he tried again but his hand was yet again slapped away.
"i don't want to see you ever again." was the last words you uttered to him (shakily) before leaving his apartment.
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dracoangel · 1 year ago
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things I didn't know until tonight. The guy from Critical Role that created Grog in Vox Machina (Travis Willingham) is the same guy that does the voice for the English dubbed Roy Mustang in Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
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motomamita · 5 months ago
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fugitive!könig × naive!farmer!reader
warnings: smut, +18, no condom, innocence kink, breeding kink, baby trapping, virginity loss, female reader, dub-con!!
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fugitive!könig who managed to escape the law, after committing several crimes, and now travels throughout the country hiding his identity.
On one of his many trips he ends up arriving at a small town, almost lost in time, where its few inhabitants live off their animal farms and orchards. Apparently no one had televisions, and the few radios only broadcast music that was overshadowed by static. This ensured that no one there would be able to recognize him and gave him the opportunity to stay and rest for a few hours.
Tired of walking and extremely hungry, König sat down in a small cafe to have a drink. The people around him looked at him strangely, not only because they didn't know him but also because of his intimidating appearance. His back was broad, he had long legs, and the muscles in his arms were noticeable even though he was wearing a wind jacket that covered him. However, no one seemed to be bothered by his presence, the people there loved tourists and König seemed completely like one.
When it was time to pay, he noticed that he had ordered and consumed more than he could afford. He was about to offer some of his "camping" knives in exchange for the money he was missing until a figure approached him.
"Don't worry if you don't have the money to pay." you spoke with a sweet voice and doing everything possible so that Konig would not feel embarrassed. "I sell the fruits to the owner of the place so I'm sure I can reach an agreement with him."
König was fascinated by you. Not only because of your timely friendliness but also your very natural and almost unique appearance that was very difficult to find in other places. You were wearing a jean gardener, some comfortable shoes and you were carrying a basket that minutes ago was full of fruits and vegetables from your garden. König looked down, somewhat shy and not knowing how to react to you, the truth is that during his escape he had not met many friendly people.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you for anything in return." You smiled when you saw that no words came out of his mouth. "Here we greatly appreciate tourists and travelers, after all they are the ones who keep this small town from turning into a ghost town."
You invited König to take refuge in your small house for as long as he needed before leaving again for another place. König accepted, surprised at your remarkable naivety in letting a complete stranger into your house and providing him with all the care.
When he arrived, you showed him where the shower was and what his room would be where he could rest. You left a clean change of clothes on his bed and selflessly went off to make dinner. Once he cleaned, König followed the delicious smell and came to the kitchen where you were on your back stirring a large pot of what seemed to be a stew. You were so focused that you didn't notice the presence of the big man behind you. he thought about how easy it would be to cut your neck with one of those long knives you had there. But the idea quickly disappeared when you turned around and a wide smile formed on your face when you saw him.
That stew was the best he had tasted in a long time, so much so that he served himself 3 plates, leaving you totally pleased. The next morning, König didn't really know exactly what to do. He could stay one more night and wake up in the middle of the night to raid your entire home, even leave after having a trip with you. He was hesitant, and that hesitation turned into doubt when you offered to cut his hair and trim his long beard, which he accepted.
That same afternoon König sat down to drink a lemonade made by you while he watched you harvest super large, red strawberries from a distance. He fixed his gaze on the way your pants hugged your butt in a tempting way and how you hummed a melody quietly that he couldn't make out. A tingling appeared in König's tummy and he suddenly noticed an erection growing inside his pants. You looked so pretty, so innocent. It was obvious from afar that you didn't kill a fly and that your care for him was sincere.
The days passed and König seemed to have no intention of leaving, that didn't bother you at all. Now he helped you with the heavy work on the farm, carrying large amounts of hay on his shoulder and feeding the animals. His favorite activity was watching you milk the cows, fantasizing about your hands and the way the milk dripped from them.
His approaches to you intensified, taking advantage of the slightest opportunity to touch you or rub against you. he soon discovered that you had no idea about any sexual activity, acting confused at his double meaning words and insinuations. You were the perfect muse to fulfill all his fantasies without anyone being able to stop him.
Your parents had died a long time ago, leaving you alone in charge of the big farm and all the obligations of the adult world. That led König to think that life on that farm couldn't be bad. He knew how to handle hard work well and you did everything you could to teach him and please him. The idea of ​​starting from scratch, with you there, totally convinced him.
You were a healthy, hard-working woman and you needed someone like konig with you. But König needed to have something that would force you to keep him there with you, forever and that would confirm the mutual love that you both had to give each other. That's when he found the solution: he had to get you pregnant.
That afternoon he made a point that you wouldn't leave the stable until you were full of his cum. He started by complimenting your dress and how pretty that color looked on you. Then the caresses that increased in intensity until he managed to let you be carried away by him and his carnal desire. Now he had you under him, with your skirt up and your underwear hanging from one of your feet. Out of desperation, König only lowered his pants to his heels, even with his work boots on. You were on a large pile of hay, sweating from the great summer heat and moaning loudly.
His thrusts were brutal, making their way inside you that you barely had time to understand everything that was happening. The pleasure was so much that you could barely think about anything other than König's gaze and the way his balls slapped your ass.
"Oh, baby. You're so so tight.. And wet, shit" König groaned, sighing loudly at the pleasure your pussy was giving him. "Tell me, how did a cute little thing like you stay a virgin for so long, huh?" You opened your mouth to answer but only moans came out. "Uh? Talk to me, sweetheart, talk to me.."
"I.. I don't know.." you managed to say, overstimulated by everything. König's rough shirt rubbed against your clit, giving both pleasure and pain. König was so big that he covered you with his entire body, leaving you with almost no place to breathe air other than his breath.
"Uh? Don't you know? These farm boys are idiots... They wouldn't know how to please a pretty thing like you..." König cut off his sentence to get even closer to you and kiss you, putting his tongue inside your mouth. You tried to keep up with him but that triggered the kiss to be even wetter and hotter for him.
"König.. Give me more, please!" He smiled as he heard the urgency in your broken voice. You looked so pretty like that, almost not understanding what was happening but still pleased and eager for him to give you even more.
He, ready to please you, grabbed your legs and raised them to your shoulder, adopting a new position. His thrusts continued, his fat cock forcing its way into your no longer so virgin pussy and the simple sound of your skin slapping together made your warm walls embrace him. Not really knowing what to do, you brought your hands to König's big, muscular shoulders, feeling a few scars on them.
"Oh, my pretty little thing.. I'm going to fill you inside and you're going to be the prettiest mom in this whole damn town.." You dug your nails into his shoulder and your gaze was filled with confusion. "You like it, huh? You're going to make me so happy, isn't that what you want?"
You hesitated for a few seconds, not sure what he meant but his cock rammed even deeper into you leaving you almost without any thought. Tears formed in your eyes from the pleasure and absolute adoration with which he looked at you.
"Come on, mommy.. Make me happy, carry my precious baby.."
In the same way that König had managed to get his way in prison, he had gotten his way with you. Now you both lived together as a couple on the farm, happy and with a baby on the way inside your fertile womb.
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a-b-riddle · 6 months ago
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Part Four
Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.
"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.
"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."
"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.
"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."
You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.
"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.
Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.
It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.
It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.
In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.
"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."
"You think it was a stunt?"
"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."
"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."
"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."
"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."
"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."
You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.
You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.
"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”
For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.
Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?
"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.
You were finally angry.
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ozzgin · 7 months ago
Text
I just watched The First Omen at the cinema and you may go ahead and cuff me for blasphemy, but…
Devil x Reader
You have been chosen by the Cult as the one to carry their ungodly plan after many failed attempts. This time it was a success, yet not for the reasons they might expect. The Devil has his eyes on you.
Content: female reader, mentions of pregnancy, religious themes, blasphemy, violence, horror, a non-consent scene!, based on The First Omen (2024); image from the promotional poster
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Why you, of all people? You're not particularly devoted to religion, nor do you stand out in terms of virtuousness. Or lack of, for that matter. Alas, their reasons remain unknown.
What's certain is that you woke up one day and found yourself strapped to a foreign bed, staring into a ceiling you didn't recognize. You weren't alone. Around your helpless form stood men and women, dressed in black and wearing a solemn smile. Your forehead received a gentle, encouraging stroke from the hand of the priest. The scent of chrism invaded your nostrils.
You begged them to release you. The older man spoke softly in your ear. "You are serving a greater purpose. It is all in the name of God." God? Purpose? You rolled your eyes back and gazed upon the large painting hanging behind you. Virgin Mary and her blissful smile and stretched out hands felt like a mockery.
The holy image vanished as a black cloth was nonchalantly draped over your face. You felt the rope tighten around your neck and begun gasping for the scarce air barely making it through the thick canvas. A crescendo of muffled chants, and the room went abruptly quiet. Had everyone left?
Then you heard it. That profane growl, causing the entirety of your body to shiver in repugnance and terror. You trashed, and pulled, and screamed, to no avail. A clawed hand rested on your bare stomach, then a second one traced the rest of your body. You laid limp, vision blurred as the room swayed in tandem with the sacrilegious act.
You'd been defiled by a Beast. The next time you opened your eyes, you were back in your bed. Your hopes of it being a mere nightmare were shattered the moment you lifted your gown and noticed the deep scratches, the monstrous prints left on your skin, and the hollow sensation in the pit of your stomach. Your body had been tampered with, and something was growing out of your misfortune. A vile blight, throbbing with life within the comfort of your flesh.
You spent the months haunted by voices and visions. The grotesque, horned Creature would frequently reappear in your mind, exhausting all other thoughts. Such a heavy, imposing presence. It wouldn't let you forget, not even for a second: you belonged to Him, and He would soon return to retrieve you. The mother of His child, the object of His adoration. Was such a thing even conceivable?
You prayed to be left alone, yet the Cult naturally longed for its promised gift, bound to come back eventually. And so, once more, you were facing the people who caused your despair. "We've come for the child", the priest explained, glancing at your obvious, bulging belly. The clawed hand framing it was still a fresh wound that never healed, almost as an ominous warning: this body was owned by a jealous God.
Your trembling hands revealed a pocketknife. This time, you were prepared. The group took a moment to observe your daring gesture, then proceeded to approach you with calculated steps, with newfound resolve. Would you be able to keep them away? Their intentions were clear: you were in possession of the Antichrist, and they needed to secure this immense power.
The ground shook, and everyone froze. You glanced at the altar painting, the same one that witnessed your corruption. Virgin Mary remained with an unfaltering smile. From behind the ornate frame, large, horrid hands creeped out. A travesty of everything Holy. The priest gasped and quickly threw his hands in prayer. This was not part of the plan. This was not meant to happen.
"Pater noster, qui es in caelis-" he began, but his voice was cut short. His face turned pale, and he clutched his chest with a terrible grimace. The nun next to him let out a scream before she was pushed away by an invisible force. Her body hit the wall with a loud, wet sound of bones breaking and flesh tearing. You stared at the massacre unfolding before you, devoid of any fear. Somehow, in the depths of your soul, you knew you'd be safe.
An enormous shadow emerged from behind the painting, twisting, bending, stalking towards you. Your nose scrunched at the stench of blood. You were the last one standing among corpses. To your surprise, you exhaled deeply, shoulders drooping in comfort. A silent voice murmured in your ear, telling you not to fear. That Father was finally home for you.
Foolish, ridiculous humans. He'd been willing to entertain their petty plans of grandeur, until he met you: your tender, frail body, your innocent soul. How exalting it was to have his way with you. You were meant to be the one. To carry His offspring into the damned world. But not for some trifling reason of a Cult desperate to crawl their way back into control. Their greatest mistake - which led to their demise - was to assume the Devil himself can be controlled, ordered around. He has allowed you the greatest honor of joining him, out of your free will, to sow the seeds of chaos as his beloved mortal.
Thus, he couldn't have possibly allowed anyone to interfere. What you saw that day, in that old, musty underground cavern, was an omen: a bloodbath awaits the one who dares to approach his human.
You look up into the demonic orbs: trenches of madness, obsession, vulgarity, burning holes into you, slurping your very existence with hunger and lust. You are his.
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