#I didn't know she was trans until today lol

[mothenbythighs]

Back when I was like 15/16 I remember seeing this post and going on a giant deepdive about what happened to this woman because i was worried about her, like I've been born and raised on the internet this was a completely reasonable mistake to make. And I found out mostly the same stuff in the above post, Hickman didn't actually fire her she's getting rehired all's well that ends well.

However

During my search I ended up finding a youtube video of a news program covering this, they were covering about the exact screenshot above, and they were for this woman, "like wow how could she get fired for something as small as this, Hickman is such a crybaby" type stuff, and obviously they were a little uninformed (or maybe it came out before Hickman's statement idk nor care) but this was huge to me cause in all my searching these were the first people that actually agreed with me "like yes this woman obviously shouldn't get fired for something like this it's ridiculous" everyone else was just making fun of her cause yknow "Furry insulted her boss and got fired lmao". But then they then did an audience poll on whether or not people thought she deserved this or not, and 60%!!! of the people said she deserved it, and obviously the hosts and I were bewildered, but yknow they move on to the next segment and the video ended.

But i was still pissed "how could so many people think this woman is in the wrong what is wrong with them" and so I went into the comments section to see if any more people were as outraged by this as I was. And to this day in the maybe 10 years I've been on the internet that was the most rancid comment section I've ever seen.

The top comments were just making fun of her being a furry, "If shes an animal she should be being tested on in the nasa labs instead of working there lolololo" fucking gross disgusting i hate it but its the internet we've all seen shit like this before. It pissed me off but i moved on

Most of the other comments were some variation of "I don't know how you guys were surprised by the poll results, this is what happens when you insult your boss" And like are you 60? have you never been on the internet before??? That's not what is happening here at all!!!

But the one comment that stuck into me, like a fucking fishhook was "She wasn't even supposed to be an engineer she was just supposed to work in the kitchen making food for the real astronauts". And I was enraged, like "that's completely fake, you made it up! Like you clearly didn't do any research you're just making shit up to make fun of this woman, and also you're saying that like cooks aren't vital workers you're j-" and then it all clicked, This is what oppression looks like.

Like obviously 15 year old me knew minorities weren't treated well in life but this was my first time seeing it. A person was being mistreated mostly by freakish old men, her life was being ruined and she wasn't even being taken seriously because she is a woman (And to a lesser extent a furry)

twitter is incredible

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for blocking my "friend" and removing them from the discord group?

i (16he/they) go to a trans youth group and have a discord server of a few cool people from it. C (16any), L (16any), and gf (16she/her).

the group planned to have a picnic today, but it had to be cancelled because of bad weather, so i asked the server if they wanted to meet. C had plans to meet with friends and said me and gf could come (L wasn't able to because he was having surgery). we agreed to meet in the city centre at 12.

i was ready to go by 11ish, but my mum wanted me to have brunch and a cuppertea first, so i couldn't leave until 11:45ish. i let C know when i was on the bus and why i was going to be slightly late. i arrived only a few minutes after 12, let them know where i was, and waited for about half an hour.

they were shit-talking L, saying that he was "stalking them" because they got on the same bus once. tbh the way they described it made it seem like they were harrassing L. L has had problems with "friends" from that group before, and has seemed really guilty over the idea of having hurt people so this was a dick move, especially since C was acting friendly towards them in the server.

when gf arrived (she had to leave college early to get there) C said "don't be gay around us, we're all single". i read this in a light tone, and responded "ok homophobe lol". they didn't really talk to us after that, and me and gf eventually split from the group to do some shopping together.

when we had all got home, C sent me a message saying it was wrong for me to call her homophobic, even if it was a joke, and that homophobia isn't something to joke about. i said i thought it was a light, unserious, silly, joke context because he had literally told me and gf to "not be gay". they said that their friends are "uncomfortable" around people they know being affectionate and that "it was the one rule" and she had "tried to do a nice gesture but i had thrown it back in their faces".

me and gf agreed that this was unreasonable, and i said he should've said it at the time, instead of waiting until they were safe behind a screen. C responded calling me a "shitty person" and sending us long voice note rants. i told her to grow up, kicked him from the group, and blocked him.

aita for making people uncomfortable by uhhhhhh being a lesbian and daring to hold hands with a girl ???

[cyandreamz]

✯ Athena and Simon hanging out ✯

Today I finished this drawing and overall I like it. I don't think I've fully figured out how I want these two to look in my art style yet but, I had fun drawing this :D. Also I know Athena here is technically too tall as she's canonically 5'4 (as tall as Apollo if you include his hair spikes!) and normally, I stick to canon heights but, in my mind Athena is around 5'7 and, I just can't imagine her being shorter than that! So for her, I ignore her canon height XD

I shaded Simon's hair with purple as with my art style I don't like to shade shades with shades because it makes my art less colourful and, it being colourful is very important for me. So I used purple as it was one of the few dark markers I have in my budget marker set and, it made him match his older sister's colours a little bit:3

For outfits I was originally going to give Athena a brown plad skirt with white shirt but, the skirt design got really ugly so I made the skirt black and the shirt brown. It definitely looks weird but maybe that makes the outfit more canon and suit Athena's slightly odd personality? Unfortunately I didn't realise I forgot her glove until after doing the lineart, so let's pretend it's in her cropped hoddie pocket or something lol. I also made her hair accessories green instead of blue to match widget :3 and, with Simon's outfit I honestly didn't expect to like it much until I made the crow shirt purple and suddenly I ended up loving the whole outfit! Though in future I might look into men's goth fashion to give him something less simple to wear :P

Lately, to make it super clear, I don't ship these two as a couple of any kind! To me, Simon is a big brother figure to Athena, so I see these two as having a sibling like friendship. On the topic of hcs, I hc Simon as aroace and Athena as trans and lesbian.

[reidfucker]

boy wonder

mini drabble of reid coming out to the BAU as a trans man. happy belated trans visibility day !!! sorry, i only realized what day it was by 11pm lol. i can't think of much, just wanted to get this out of my system before exams.

also !! this might be very very ooc. it's more self indulgent than anything.

dr. spencer reid knows who he is. and he's sure that aside from his mother, the BAU is the closest to knowing the most about him. but there's something he hasn't ever mentioned — not because he didn't trust them, but at first, he was scared. and when he had the courage, he could never find an appropriate time to speak up.

well, up until today...

see, while on his walk to the office, he passed by a little trinket store selling button pins of a flag he's all too familiar with. in those 5 seconds he had in between approaching and passing by the shop, he had a bit of an internal debate.

for one, he could just buy one, wear it on his leather messenger bag, and not have to explain himself until one of his friends points it out. however, on the down side,

wait.

he can't really think of a con.

it's not like they're unaccepting,

it's not like something like this, at this point of their dynamic, would ruin it all...

that day, reid walked in a little cheerier, with a little button pin on the strap of his bag. upon walking in, he felt a sudden surge of confidence, like he had to tell someone. he couldn't keep all this euphoria to himself. so, he stormed into garcia's bat cave.

reid opens the door swiftly, but no sounds emit, so garcia doesn't notice. he taps her on the shoulder, while shaking just a bit, and before she could react, it all kind of just.. spilled out.

"i got a new pin. it's a trans button pin. because i'm transgender. i'm a trans man, i transitioned at a very early age. i don't know if it's obvious but i really, really wanted to tell somebody! and i just really don't want to hide this from you, or the team, and i know not bringing it up technically isn't hiding it, but—"

"reid." garcia cut him off. reid looks at her, a little upset, a little confused.

garcia pulls him in for a hug, rubbing circles on his back. reid stands stunned for a few seconds, but he melts into it. he doesn't quite understand what this means.

"oh, my sweet, sweet boy wonder, you don't have to explain yourself to me." penelope says, not letting go of him. "you're still the dorky, adorable genius i've known since day one." spencer feels tears welling.

penelope finally lets go of the hug, keeping two hands on his shoulders — which is... an odd position for their height difference, but it's still heartwarming, all the same.

spencer can't help but cry. and penelope understands, comforting him with her sweet words and soft touches. she always understands.

[breakbeatbun]

i did a lot of "boy things" as a kid and I've always felt less "girl" because of it, i never played with stuff that was considered feminine, partly because i was afraid of judgment, but also i found "boy stuff" more appealing. it's tough not relating to one's peers in a binary way. i would love to play cars

tags on this post for context

i was raised by a mechanic and carpenter so a lot of my early free time was spent in a barn full of tools, machines, welding masks, piles of cut-up BMX bikes we'd find in the garbage, stripped-bare sandrails and their engines, couple rifles or compound bows here or there, probably listening to whatever crusty old rock music my dad put on. hell, i was rowing through the gears of my mom's old square body S10 while she drove us to the store before i was barely tall enough to see over the dash. "hanging out with friends" was playing Guitar Hero or Racing & Skateboarding Video Games, or riding our bikes and skinning our knees. "hanging out with dad" was often target shooting in the backyard or building something; I rarely ever held the flashlight, i had the tools in my hands and grease under my fingernails.

that's a lot of exposition but i'm trying to paint the most specific picture i can! TL;DR, a lot of arguably "boy things" in my upbringing, and i fit right into it, lot of fondness in my heart for it still!

around the time i had my big Gender Awakening at the tail-end of high school i had already been Online for a bit - hell i learned what it meant to feel non-binary from this very website circa 2013 - but it wouldn't be until maybe 2019 or so when i moved out that i really started making other queer and trans friends, and it was pretty immediately obvious that i was extremely different from the rest of my community, both online and offline. of course, nobody was rude about it, everybody was VERY respectful of my name and my pronouns and my identity, but it was still really easy for me to feel "othered" because our shared experiences didn't line up at all; At most maybe i got made fun of for having long hair. it made it really easy to feel like i wasn't doing enough work to justify my queerness.

at the other end of that spectrum, i recently tried on she/her pronouns at the front of my bio, just to see if i was missing something, and i was quickly met with an IMMEDIATE outpour of support from friends and community alike. SO many people were loud about being So Proud of me, Knew i Had It In Me, i had multiple friends message me privately to offer information and easy routes to HRT "just in case ;)" i was thinking about it! and, yeah, it's nice to have that kinda support, i'll admit! but it was hard not to feel a little invalidated in not wanting to change. it really felt like a lot of people, close friends even, just kinda saw me as a trans woman waiting to have a bigger realization, as though being non-binary was just a meaningless stepping-stone to something greater. and i mean, i can't blame them, they just wanted to help!!

today i'm pretty firmly Queer/non-binary (with a little bit of Girl on the side when it's either Appropriate or Funny), and my body and voice are very much unaltered from the ones i was born with. virtually indistinguishable from a cishet version of myself, just with the he/him lopped off and they/she sloppily appended in its place; simply because i don't have the energy or don't care to put much effort into change, and that's very much fine for me. I know damn well i don't owe it to anybody but myself anyway, granted none of it tends to matter much when you present as a rabbit girl on the internet LOL. I'm thankful to have built myself a little space where i can engage with others like me, or where other queers feel welcome to express interest in the things that I'M all about! even if it's a little few and far between. still struggle with feeling like i fit in with The Girls tho LMAO.

IDK! this post is my half-baked love letter to my fellow AMAB NB folks who get treated like Cis Men, Trans Women who don't "put the effort in," or Anyone who can Otherwise Relate in the same, or even an opposite sort of way. we are playing cars together

[midwinterhunt]

writer ask game 6 and 7?

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best? my writing schedule is "One day I posted three chapters in a row and then didn't post again for a year" and such. I am horrible about writing consistently lol.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote Oh god buckle up.

I was 13/14 at this time, severely depressed, and about 70% of my brain was occupied with Doctor Who. And then someone gave me access to Wattpad.

I made a self insert OC named Alex, who through time loop reasons became an acquaintance, but not full on companion, of The Doctor. She would go with him on alien time travel stuff because she had an affinity for it, and it also doubled as running away from home for long periods at a time.

She thought time traveling was helping her cope, she was distracted from feeling sad, and even was brave enough to meet and starting talking with a boy (who i named Ets for some reason??) who would appear off and on several times throughout the story as she grew more attached to him. Until finally she started bringing him along (The Doctor didn't like him too much, but Alex vouched for him.)

(You can find Ets here or in my OC directory from my pinned post)

Anyway, one slow burn later, Ets turned out to be the one orchestrating all the bad events they had been dealing with. He said that he was going to kill everyone she loved, and that he was specifically trying to hurt her. She was panicked and confused and ended up killing him. I think the building may have collapsed or something? I know she also ended up dead. Uh, downside: she woke up in the body of another girl, and retained the memories of both. Really, it was hard to tell if some random girl was given her memories, or if she body snatched a random person. Because both minds were equally fused within minutes.

Anyway, she tries to go home to her family and is rejected because they think she's some stranger playing a messed up prank. Somehow she ends up with the TARDIS Ets apparently owned, and she starts traveling on her own.

At this point I just started writing her going through the plots of every show/book series that I liked and wrote it off as traveling the multiverse.

At one point her TARDIS becomes sentient, builds himself an actual body, and names himself Clyde and gradually has an identity crisis.

At one point Alex reincarnates into a guy's body (yay for baby trans me for exploring gender this way).

I later redesigned Clyde (several times actually). Eventually renamed him T-ai. And am currently updating him again to post here on tumblr.

I had 13 chapters posted on Wattpad, nearly thirty written on notebook paper, and the rest of it either outlined or just imagined in my head. I have since scrubbed the internet of all trace of this fic until today.

Oh god I wonder if I still have some of the hand written chapters lying around.

This fic was Not Good.

[gnometa233]

I think it's really telling that that person took "Don't assume someone is queer based on their appearance" as "Just looking queer does not mean you're actually LGBT"

Instead of yknow, the part that affects me every day of "There are queer people around you who don't look like a walking pride parade but are still very much LGBT"

To anyone who sees me I probably just look like some tall gamer girl nerd (okay thats a bit of a givaway that im a trans woman but thats with meta knowledge) but like I experience gender and sexuality counter to the social norm, so maybe dont assume that someone isnt LGBT just because they dont look like a dictionary portait of flagging.

I know I'm super fucking tired of people assuming I'm not a lesbian just because I'm not masculine presenting or wearing my pride flag pins that day and everyone thinks feminine women MUST like men. RRGHHH...

Unless you're that person who seems pretty insecure about it lol

Or hell, even just talking about the fact that you engage with lgbtq+ culture and support smaller lgbtq+ artists (many of which are my friends) means the most interesting thing about you is that your lgbtq+. Like, wow, i can't believe learning and giving back to people who need money to survive have no personality

Clothes have always been a source of contention in the lgbtq+ community and it still is today. Blend in? Stand out? Flag each other? There are advantages and disadvantages to both.

And you're absolutely right. I think people have forgotten the art of stealthing, which I know a LOT of people do. One of my friends i met in physical therapy looked like your normal, jock, average teenage boy, until i learned he had already completed physical transition and was on T for years prior. Another one of my friends looks like a stock, computer nerd guy, but they're nonbinary (and possibly a trans girl, they're thinking about it, but either way I'd support them, you'd actually like them I think!), Another one of my friends looks like your standard straight girl who sometimes wears croptops, and she's bisexual!

I think what bothers me the most about that post when they responded to my tags is the fact that they were so...dismissive. The sort of implication there is that everyone should want to signal to other lgbtq+ people that they're lgbtq, or else they're boring. Which can be really, really damaging, especially to those who do want to remain stealth.

Anyways if that person thinks i'm boring, let them. Sucks to suck, but I know I have a rich, inner and outer life and diverse interests. Some of us didn't realize we were lgbtq+ until later in life. We had to form a personality.

[ftmcutiepie]

Good luck at work!!! I know you’ll do great and I hope your coworkers are nice!

I’m sure hearing your real name and being treated as so obviously a woman will make your girly cunt drip and throb throughout the day. Make sure to give your clit some attention when you can! She’ll definitely want some play time later after you worked so hard! You’ll be a silly little slut the hornier you are too, maybe a customer will even compliment your ditziness! Maybe some coworkers will even stare at your delicious tits while explaining something to you, I know I would be…

((And I also hope you see some supportive things/hints from coworkers at work if you do need to come out and if you ever wanna talk about workplace things I totally got you, ftm girlies gotta stick together! I’m on a side blog hence the anon but I hope you know you’re a really sweet person and I’m really rooting for your first day to go well!!!))

- Lizzie

Aw thank you <3

Sadly I didn't even get called by my real name that much, only when I got introduced to coworkers, but it felt so good to let them know my real name, instead of lying and pretending to be something I'm not.

I can't wait to repeat it over and over again until every single one of my coworkers remembers it and calls me by it every day🥰

Honestly, I was so busy all day I didn't really have time to be horny, BUT I was helping this older lady customer and she literally called me a good girl.

It made me feel so dysphoric, but then I remembered that dysphoria is good for me and it made me really happy that despite being more than 6 months on T, people still treat me - as you so fittingly put it - as so obviously a woman🥰

Fuck, my cunt is definitely throbbing and dripping rn only thinking about it😖💕

I took the time to rub my clit for a few seconds at the end of my break before heading back to work, but I was too anxious about getting caught to do it any longer.

But after I got home from work I edged until I fell asleep because I was really exhausted.

Sadly my early shift starts at 6 and work will probably be really busy most of the time, so I won't have much time to be horny on the clock, but my late shift starts at 2, I can't wait to edge all day until I have to get ready for work on the days I work the late shift🥰

I really hope one day when I'm all horny and dumb at work after a morning of edging, a customer will compliment my ditziness! I hope I get a reputation of being a silly little slut among customers and coworkers! Maybe one day I'm brave enough to edge at work for long enough to be caught...🥰

I didn't notice anyone staring at my tits today, but I really hope my coworkers and maybe even my customers do! Maybe I'm just too dumb to notice. I wanna be objectified so bad! Maybe one day I'll even get groped...

(Thank you! It was only my first day, but so far my colleagues and my two bosses and even the customers seem really chill. I find it very hard to guess how people view trans people, but so far I was mostly positively surprised lol. So on the one hand I'm like, How bad can it be? And on the other hand I'm kind waiting for someone to react badly because everything went rather smooth this far😅

Maybe there'll be an opportunity to come out for me soon-ish, and if not, I don't terribly mind just staying closeted at work for a few hours a week. Don't many people put on "personas" for work? And if all else fails I'll still have this Kink as a coping mechanism lol <3

I might take you up on the offer to talk depending on how things develop at work, but my first day went surprisingly well actually!)

[erigold13261]

Hey! Guess what!?

Someone called me sir a few shifts ago! I forgot about that until today/tonight because a coworker asked me if I was trans or not.

He asked because another customer said "that young man helped me out" when referring to me, and my coworker wanted to ask to make sure he was gendering me correctly!

He said I looked androgynous because I was pretty skinny and short but also had a slight mustache and beard lol. It made me super happy that people are seeing me in a more masc sense! (though not everyone, most people keep referring to me as just strictly a woman, which is fine, but I love it when someone calls me sir or a man :3)

It was just really nice to hear. Though what is not nice to hear is that I look 16. My sister told me that before but I thought it was because she kinda sees me as younger, but considering a coworker who didn't know my age said I looked like 16 or in my teens makes me a bit bitter (mainly because if I ever start dating, which is highly unlikely, I have to make sure the person isn't with me because I look like a teen).

Anyway! That was a small update on my life! Happy little time at work! Really glad it's not as miserable as I thought it would be, but hey, I've only been working for like 3 weeks. It will get to me eventually lol.

[onyxedskies]

My brain is absolutely dysfunctional with the concept of Dimitri being AFAB and trans-masculine, partially because of the support with Catherine, so I have to ask: what are your thoughts?

I think it would be somehow interesting if Catherine was just out of the loop at the time, being at the age of rebellious not-listening-to-what's-the-news that she accidentally misgenders him because he still looks girly. And that he was mad about it because he didn't know how to express why it made him dysphoric. Or that he revelled in being compared to Lambert in visual resemblance, until the Tragedy made it hard for him to find any comfort in it because every time he looks in a mirror, it feels like Lambert's severed head is staring back, demanding vengeance and speaking to him.

i’m so sorry if this is short but my arm has been Really Bad today so i apologize in advance lol

anyways!

transmasc dimitri was always something that floated in the back of my mind, due to a number of different characterizations. i’d never actually seen dimitri and catherine’s supports (i don’t really like catherine personally; she’s a perfectly good character and unit but not my style), but looking at it, i do think that adds into the basis for a trans dimi headcanon.

my only hangup with transmasculine dimitri is the way he masks so much and puts on the performance of the person everyone wants him to be, not who he actually is. i don’t think he would have ever been able to bring himself to be honest about it, especially not to the kingdom as a whole. if anything, i headcanon dimitri as transfeminine or amab non-binary because of that; i think after the war, he’d be much more inclined to experiment with himself and his gender and gender expression. i do think transmasc dimitri is very cool, and seeing it in art or fics certainly doesn’t turn me off from it, but i personally find myself more inclined to believe he’s transfem :>

[tiphansia]

Stupid rant lol

It sucks how sometimes supposed acts of allyship hurt someone you're trying to be an ally to. These days more and more people are defaulting to they/them when they're unsure of a person's gender. Which, cool yay whatever. But whenever someone calls me they or them no matter the reason it makes me incredibly angry, profoundly sad, bitter, etc just generally not good at all. People often they/them me online especially in "progressive" spaces and it sucks so much. I know I know utilitarianism dictates it and all that but it just really sucks. There's nothing that can be done either unless everyone went back to using he as the default, which I would like but it would suck for a lot of people so I can't in good conscience wish that. My solution is to act in such a way and present myself in such a way that people assume he/him, because it relieves me from having to outright state my pronouns which I hate to do (and it would also make me so suspicious, I don't like people to know or think I'm trans). I've been in a discord server with someone for months, he knows me we interact daily and I thought he correctly assumed he/him for me through my whole online presentation as he'd gendered me correctly before. But today we were in a voice channel with some other people and he started to use he for me, then quickly said "they, I shouldn't assume". Instant horrible feeling. I can only use the nomic channel to communicate back because for obvious reasons I can't speak, I quickly wrote "it's he fyi :/" but I think I made it worse for myself because my directly stating my pronouns I've just made myself suspicious. What cis person says their pronouns like that. It's so upsetting because anything I say about it will just make things worse so I have to man up and not say anything but it's in my nature to keep talking until things seem "fixed" so it's hard to say nothing haha. And later on someone was saying how dumb these new pronouns are, why can't people use they/them and he was a bro said all the right stuff. Sometimes I'm glad I can't speak because otherwise I would've had to publicly agree with the other person in order to preserve my image and help people make the correct assumptions about me. I guess part of why I hate they/them used on me is because it very clearly tells me this person thinks I'm fucking weird. It reminds me of this post I rbed a few days ago about how asking for someone's pronouns in public seems like "allyship" but it just makes the person feel targeted. It's kind of like that. It's not like I'm a new server member that no one really knows well yet, I've been a core member for months. And yet I'm the only one that this person "didn't want to assume gender" for. Like thanks EVER so much. This is such a stupid rant I'm just so tired of it all. I try so incredibly hard to maintain my image so people assume correctly. Someone in that server called me "unmasculine" once so I asked him why and he said it was because I'm too nice so I've been acting meaner and less considerate and it still doesn't work because sometimes I crack and ask people if they're okay or express sympathy or insecurity or show emotions or reveal that I care what people think and it's all for nothing. Yeah I know it's messed up I don't care. I hate that it feels like it's for nothing. People will always see me as feminine no matter how hard I try. Fuck you. And you know what there's this girl in the server and for the longest time very few people believed her because she has this masculine aura I guess so everyone thought she was trolling. And I was the one being like "guys she's a girl lmao" because I could sense she was uncomfortable saying it herself until finally she was able to say it herself and then people used she/her for her. Even the ally guy refused to believe me until she finally said it herself. I'd give so much to be able to swap places with her lmao. Ugh whatever this is stupid. I wish I could stop caring but I've never been able to not care about anything.

[ya-what--ya-erster]

just understand I actually hate this lol I started it as a request and then the person who requested it disappeared so.

Race-me: guys we have terrible news

Ali: terrible

Race-me: horrible

Ali: no good

Race-me: awful

Ali: horrific, even

Save-A-Horse: You guys are scaring me, tf did u do

Mom: I'm not paying the hospital bills

Ali: Lucky you

Race-me: They're going to be $$$$$

Elly: Yeah you guy's visit today was exciting

Spot: just tell us what happened

&Juliet: ya what's so tragic

Ali: ooh we missed that word

Race-me: so basically we can't do stupid shit anymore

Mom: the day has come

Race-me: until Alissa gets the baby outta her

Save-A-Horse: WHAT

Mom: the what

Spot: you should not be legally allowed to have children they'll be crazy

Ali: HA and you're gonna inherit it when Race and I inevitably go down together in an epic battle

Kath: omh ur gonna be a mom that's so exciting!!!!!

That's what made Alissa pause. 

A mom. 

The words felt strange. She added it up to just being nervous about parenthood and shrugged it off. 

Ali: yeah!!! I'm terrified actually

Kath: don't be! it's all good :) I've never been pregnant b4 but I love having kids they're so fun and cute

Sarah: and little bitches

Kath: shush ur scaring her

Ali: Bae I'm already scared

Race-me: Don't be it'll be okay <3

Ali: <3

button-eyes: ew get a room

Race-me: already got one a minute back buddy, if u didn't notice Alissa's pregnant

button-eyes: I hate you race

Race-me: I'd be doing something wrong if u didn't ;)

Alissa was now pretty far along in her pregnancy, and she just kept looking back on that one uncomfortable moment where Kath told her she was going to be a mom. 

She kept feeling it, that odd sensation where everything inside her felt backwards when someone said the word 'mom' in reference to her. 

On top of all that, she was feeling really crap about her body. That, she decided, was just the being pregnant thing, but something deep inside said that it wasn't.

It took some time, but one day, she finally figured it out. 

"Hey." Race sat down on the couch,  putting his arm around Alissa. 

"Hi. How was work?"

"Shit as always."

"What you get for working at Starbucks, bitch."

"Shut up. You want to watch TV?"

"News?"

"You know me well."

So Race picked up the remote and clicked the TV on. 

"-woman murdered in act of violence against transgender people. Witnesses of attack claim the victim was 'shoving propaganda in everyone's faces' and 'scaring children.' 12-year-old Abby Bright says 'she was only walking down the street, and then this man just pulled a gun on her-"

Race turned the TV off. 

"It's disgusting." He said after a moment. "Just killing someone because she was born with a dick."

"Yeah." Alissa nodded. "I don't really get it though." 

"Don't get what?"

"What even is being trans? Like, is it just wanting to be a different gender or is there more to it than that?"

"Well, I'm not trans, so I don't really know, but Jack told me it's like, feeling wrong inside the body you were born with. Like. If you were to be trans, you'd probably not like having boobs all that much. You might wanna, like, cut your hair short, and maybe you'd wish your voice was lower or something. You'd probably really hate being pregnant. But I dunno, that's just how I perceive it, I don't really-"

Race kept rambling, but Alissa didn't hear him. 

Her brain was yelling. Screaming, even. 

What if that's me? She wondered. 

"-so... Ali? Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Alissa looked up from her hands. 

"You kinda zoned out there."

"Why'd you tell me what Jack said?"

Race looked at her curiously for a moment. Then, his head snapped upwards.

"Shit."

"Shit what, Race?"

"He didn't really want me, uh, you know he didn't want people to know-"

"So Jack's a girl now?"

"No." Race said slowly. "Jack was a girl and now he isn't."

"Oh." Alissa very unsteadily stood up from the couch, almost falling. Race caught her. 

"Woah, hey. Where ya goin'?"

"Next door."

"What for?"

"I left my sweatshirt over there." 

Race was used to Albert remembering random things at random times, so he accepted this explanation. 

"I can go get it for you."

"No!" Alissa practically shouted. "No, sorry, I just, I can get it I need to talk to Davey about some books anyways so."

Race just laughed. "Okay. I'll start some dinner. Wanting anything in particular?"

"I, uh. Hm. Really salty."

"Cool. I'll get started."

Alissa nodded and practically ran out the door. 

Well, as fast as she could go, which was not very fast. 

So, she speedily walked ten steps to knock on Davey and Jack's apartment door. 

Knock knock knock.

Alissa banged on the door. There was a hassle inside, she could tell, and then Jack appeared at the door, not wearing a shirt. 

That's the first time Alissa saw the scars, and the only time for quite a while after. She found the sight oddly soothing. 

"What can I do for ya?" Jack asked, leaning against the door frame. He scrunches up his face, makes a little clicking noise with his mouth, and throws his head backwards. "Jeez, hate that one. Hurts like a bitch."

"I bet. Can I come in?"

"Sure thing. DAVE, GO PUT CLOTHES ON."

"Oh, ew."

"Shuddup. Come on in."

Alissa followed Jack inside, her eyes angled downward. They sat on the couch and Jack glanced to Alissa, who was once again looking at Jack's scars. 

"Never seen nothin' like 'em before, have you?" Jack asked. 

Alissa shook her head. She knew the answer to the question, but she asked anyway: "What are they from?"

Jack hit himself on the top of his head three times, then replied. 

"Got my tits chopped off."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

After an uncomfortably long silence, only filled by Jack's occasional twitching, Jack spoke up again.

"Is something bothering you?"

Alissa shrugged, then nodded. 

"Race told me you're trans on accident, and he was telling me what it could, uh, be like, as a trans person, and I just... everything he was saying sounded so familiar so I just ran over here to talk to you and. I dunno. Everything feels wrong and Race isn't going to love me anymore because I think I'm a boy and it's not supposed to be that way for me because I'm married and I'm like three weeks away from giving birth and I have a good job and I just don't need this right now, I can't just walk away from everything I have going and-"

"Allie." Jack tilted his head to the side (semi-aggressively). "It's okay."

"I don't know what to do."

"Just be true to who you are. You don't have to lose everything. Race would still love you, and if he didn't I would have a serious talking-to with him. Your kid could be okay with a not-mom. You work as tech for Broadway, I think you'll be fine. Be reasonable, okay?"

"Uh-huh."

"So what can I do now that you've taken a breath and chilled the fuck out, can I ask?"

"Language, Jack!"

"May I ask- Sorry, Davey."

"Better! Thank you."

Alissa let out a shaky laugh at the interaction. "I guess I just... want to know how you knew? How you know?"

"Shit, uh. I don't know. I ain't got a magical discovery moment to share with ya. But I could tell ya how I knew I wasn't fakin', if ya want."

"Anything. Please."

"Kay-"

"JACK!"

"OKAY MOM- sorry, Dave's tryna get me to speak all proper-like. Anyways. It was right before me an' Davey was married. Like, a month. I have this aunt, horrible woman, who called me up to ask about the wedding, cause she was confused. Wanted to know if Jack Kelly was a relative of ours and then wanted to know why he was marrying a boy. So I just told her it's me, cause it wouldn't hurt anyone except for me. 'But Maria,'" Jack put on a mocking high voice. "'it can't be you! Stop joking with me! What do you mean you aren't joking? ¡Eres una hermosa joven que será una hermosa esposa y madre! You were such a precious little girl, you can't be a Transgénero." Jack took a deep breath and pinched himself on the arm. "I felt nasty, hearin' all that bullshit. That's when I knew I ain't ever gonna change my mind. Gotta tell the rest of the story, though, cause it's a good one."

Alissa nodded. She knew Jack struggled with knowing when to stop talking, and she was actually interested, so she allowed it to continue. 

"Aight, I reintroduced myself as Jack and she said, 'well, at least you're marrying a nice boy who knows that you'll always be a girl.' And-"

Jack burst into hysterical laughter, and Alissa heard Davey softly laugh from the kitchen. 

"Sorry. Some context for maximum laughability here. My aunt was always very insistent upon me marrying a good Catholic boy with a steady job and lots of money, yeah?"

"I can only imagine."

"So I done asked her ta define 'nice boy' for me and she gave me them same terms there then asked if I was actually meetin' them requirements."

"You did not."

"I can only imagine her face as I listed off the 'zact opposite of what she wanted for me. I have a gay husband who loves me as a man, who's Jewish, and is an author, and is actually broke as fuck jus' like me." Jack laughed again. "Her disappointment was gold. And also a factor in me knowing I ain't gonna be anything 'cept who I am. I want her to be disappointed forever."

"That's a very you thing to think."

"Yeah, that's why I thought it."

"Jack?"

"Uh-huh."

"Who would I be if I wasn't Alissa?"

"Like a name, or..."

"Yeah. A name."

"That's up to you. Get back to me on that, though."

Two nights later, Jack received a message. 

Call me Albert.

Now, Albert had a baby with Race named Charlie. 

And Race was still painfully oblivious to Albert being... well. Albert. 

That would last for long though. 

Crash.

Ten minutes after Charlie was finally asleep, there was a shattering noise from next door, and Charlie was awake again, and crying.

"Ugh. Lissa, will you take care of him and I'll go chew Jack's ass? That bitch."

"Okay." Albert nodded. 

Race for a minute lol

"Jackass, open the door!" Race banged on Jack's door, praying Davey wasn't home to yell at him. 

Jack opened the door, as requested. 

"Do you realize- oh shit." Race paused at the sight before him. Jack's hands were bleeding, there was glass shattered all over the floor, and there was a dent in the wall. Jack had a wild look in his eyes, like he was ready to bolt from the apartment at any moment.

"Hey, what happened?" Race gently pushed Jack back inside and closed the door behind them.

"Tossed the fuckin' lamp at the wall. Then I tried to clean it up and..." Jack waved his bloody hands around. "Fuckin' stupid impulsive decisions. Both of 'em. An' Dave really likes that lamp, shit."

"Jack. It's okay, yeah? Why don't ya go clean up ya hands and I'll order ya a new lamp, and we can clean up the mess after okay?"

"You don't gotta buy a new lamp-"

"Course I don't. I'm using your money and your phone, bitch. I'm only doin' it cause I know you'll impulse buy something stupid if I let you onto the amazon website."

Jack nodded. "Thanks. Password's 3283."

Race opened the phone. As he typed into the Amazon search bar "blue lamp," a notification came through.

Albert: is Davey at yours

Race tapped on the contact and scrolled up, suspicious.

Albert: I have to tell him but I just can't

Jack: it's okay, Al. Until you're ready, we can just keep doing what we've been doing

Albert: it just makes me feel bad

Jack: don't feel bad. you don't owe him anything

Jack: you should come over I'm lonely

Albert: you come over here, bitch ;)

Jack: Your the worst

Albert: You're*

Jack: fuck you

Albert: have at it

Jack: unfuck you

Albert: Jack please

Jack: no

Albert: I'm sorry

Albert: I'll earn your trust back I promise

Albert: however you want ;)

Jack: no

Albert: pleaseeeeeeee

Jack: okay

Albert: really???

Jack: No. 

"Jack?" Race asked accusingly. 

"Yes Racer?"

"Who's Albert?"

"Co-worker."

"Are you cheating on Davey with him?"

"What?!"

"You're cheating on Davey with a random co-worker names Albert. First of all, you are scum. Second, who the fuck names their child Albert?"

Jack had to laugh at that. "Nobody names their child Albert. Albert named himself Albert."

"Okay, whatever. Who does that? The point is, I'm going to have to tell Davey, Jack."

"I'm not cheating."

"Okay, yeah. Um. Co-worker. Is this co-worker working on that one show with you and Alissa?"

"Yep."

"So I'm gonna go ask her about this, so you better pray she either covers for your pathetic ass or tells the truth which is that you ain't cheating. I'm talkin' on your knees prayer, Cowboy."

Race stormed out of the apartment and back to his own, leaving Jack's phone behind. He could just talk about it.

"So Jack's cheating on Davey." Race said angrily to Albert as he walked inside. 

"What?" Albert jumped off the couch. 

"Some guy names Albert. Bunch of weird stuff in the DMs."

"Um. Albert?"

"Yeah."

"You happen to know anything about him?"

"Yeah, he works with Jack."

"Shit."

"I know."

"No! Shit as in I know who it is and it's not what you think at all."

"Okay, tell me about it then."

"So that's me. Albert."

Race choked. "Um, excuse, what?"

"I'm Albert."

"Holy shit. Shit. Shit shit shit- My wife and my brother, holy shit, non ti definirei mai una puttana ma, What the fuck?"

"RACE I'M TRANS."

A moment of silence hovered over the two. 

"Okay. My husband and my brother. Or, partner and brother. Whatever. I can't even-"

"Race! Please breathe, you're freaking me out, please listen to me!"

"No! Listen to me! Non capisco! I thought you loved me!"

"I do! I love you! And I have most definitely not been cheating on you with your brother. He's practically a brother to me too, Anthony. Did you forget about the three year long contest that we've been having? First to crack loses and all that?"

Race's face settled into a less heartbroken form. 

"Uh-huh."

"Is that what had you worried?"

"Also the, uh, 'until you're ready, we can just keep doing what we're doing' thing?" A light blush dusted Race's cheeks. 

Albert laughed. "Being trans dudes in secret. There's a whole- it was a joke Davey made."

"Davey knows, too?" 

Albert met Race's eyes. 

"Yeah. He was kind of there when I had a full-on freak out vent thing to Jack because I was confused."

"But why didn't you tell me?" 

Albert put his head down, covering his face with a curtain of red hair, and mumbled something Race couldn't quite get. 

"What's that?"

"I was scared." Albert repeated, still not looking up. 

"Hey," Race reached a hand forward, brushed the hair out of Albert's face, and rested the hand on his cheek, forcing Albert to look at him. "Albert, right?"

Albert nodded. 

"Cute."

"Bullshit, I heard you yelling at Jack."

"Changed my mind. It's perfect for you."

anyone wanna see one of my things I'll literally never finish?????? its newsies ralbert and javid ft trans Albert and trans Jack btw

[the-improbable-one]

A friend just closeted me out in front of my art teacher but I saved my ass I never felt danger so close and so far I swear on my Yeezys I literally saw God on the eyes and punched his dick

[arcade-writing]

WAIT YOU DO TRANS CHARACTERS??? I need more trans!Silco content in my life 😭

Maybe he finally feels comfortable enough to share his first time with male!reader? Idk, you could write anything and I'd read it lol

Aww shucks~ hope I've made it worth the wait!

Trans silco is perfect! You really gonna tell me that man is cis? No way

This is set during the pre-time skip. Silcos empire has been made but he's not at the level of power he is when we see him in the show.

A follow up smut to this ask: here

First time

🍋 NSFW

pairing: trans!Silco X Male!reader

Warning: AFAB body & some language for Silco, penetration, Creampie, slight virginity kink from reader, oral on silco, vibrators, prepping, goofy interactions between acts

Your relationship with silco was interesting. He saught you out for advise or to look after jinx. To keep him company when he was stressed. But as time went on and you two grew closer - one thing lead to another and your view of each other changed.

First it was just, employer and employee. You were ranked up and made his assistant. Jinxes babysitter after seeing you two become close. The lines began to blur. You were family. He began to cherish you. Trust you with things he didn't trust with others. He cared for your opinion above others. You made him weak.

He loved you.

But you didn't know that. You loved him too but thought he'd want to be professional. Despite the drifting touches and gentle moments. You kept your longing to yourself.

Silco had a meeting today. He was out for the entire evening. You were left to clean up the work he had left. Paperwork needing signatures, the bar had to be managed and you need to check the menu. The boss was growing bored of the usual mixes and wanted someone else's perspective.

You looked down at the list jinx gave you before she scurried back to the depths of her room. She overhead your conversation earlier and wanted to give her suggestions on new drinks.

They were... unique. But what would the last drop be without chaos in every corner. You handed the list over to the bartender and he poured you small glasses of each drink. Using his knowledge to tweak them so they'd actually be drinkable.

You took a gulp out of each. Each one left your tongue sizzling. You couldn't tell if you hated them or loved them. You took another sip and was still left unsure. They were perfect!

"Add them to the menu, we can have a special night - monkey mania or something cheesy like that."

You waved your hand, skulling down your favourite of the bunch. Yep, you still couldn't tell.

"Oh and...expect Jinx to come by with new cups, she was very excited about this."

You tapped the counter with a knowing smile. Before Perking up. "Hand me the scotch, won't ya, Thieram."

He placed the bottle on the counter, ready to pour. Your face dropped as you rolled your eyes.

"The good scotch."

Thieram gave you a knowing look. Raising his brow. "You don't think it went well?"

"It never goes well if Finn is involved, that's why I'm here." You grinned.

He handed you two freshly cleaned glasses, pouring a generous amount in each. You thanked him as you slid a tray over, placing the drinks on before snatching the entire bottle.

"Have some faith, (Y/N)." He barked out with a laugh of disbelief.

You just shook your head. Taking the tray up to silcos office. You placed his cigars by them before putting on his favourite vinyl. Refusing to start it until Silco arrived. You drew the curtains just enough for light to peak through. Switching on a few lights on a dim setting. Dusting off and fluffing each pillow.

You clicked your fingers. "Where's the lighter?" You checked your own pockets before searching any of his left over jackets and coats.

You couldn't find a thing. You rolled up your sleeves as you began snooping into his desk. Your cheeks going red as you found a golden vibrator in one. You slammed it shut as you continued your search.

with a sigh of relief you finally found it. Keeping it in your hand as you lifted the tray with the other. Steadying in on your palm as you waited in the middle of the room.

It wasn't long before you heard the familiar trudging footsteps coming up the stairs. You took in a deep breath as you tried to soothe your racing mind. Forcing back the mental picture of Silco pleasuring himself with the vibrator you found. Espically now that he was about to open the door.

"You're already here."

Your boss lowered his knife. He had a feeling it was you but you can never be too careful in his line of business.

"I had a hunch." You shrugged. Panicking as you almost dropped the tray.

Silco sighed as he went straight for his seat. Leaning back in his chair, you trailed after him. Lowering the tray so he could reach his cigar, you flicked on the lighter and lit it for him.

Moving the papers out of the way you played down the tray. You walked over, playing his favourite record with a smile. Returning back to his side as you stood with your hands behind your back.

"I've finished everything off and have piled it by date the contract was received, you'll just need to look over it and give it your signature."

"Thank you." Relief clear in his voice as he let out a drag. When he noticed you weren't moving, he sighed. "Sit."

It was an order. Not an offer. You pulled the nearby footstool from under his desk, sitting down next to him. It was humourous but you held back your snickers. Seeing as you were taller than the man so even at this low seat you were a fairly good height.

Silco took a large gulp of his drink. Rubbing his temples after as he slid the drink over to you. You refilled his glass before taking a swig of yours.

"What happened."

He let out a groan as he chewed at the end of his cigar. Getting frustrated at the mere thought of that meeting. As if the room was suddenly too hot from his flaring anger he hastily took off his suit vest. Holding it with a snarl over his chairs arm.

"The usual, no respect or competence from any of them, Finn making a performance of his own stupidity to win their favour."

"Did it work?"

"of course not." He barked out an amused scoff.

"and here I thought it went awful - sounds like normal business."

"But they did agree to his meaningless suggestions, now plans have been delayed but that's to be expected."

"Yikes." You poured a little extra in his glasses before skulling yours.

He chuckled as he took a long sip. He crushed his cigar before turning to you. His eyes softened as he wiped away the pencil smudge on your cheek. No doubt you got it whilst doing your tasks.

"Silco... would you--" the words died in your throat. Heat rising to your cheeks as your heart thumped in your ears.

Oh god how strong was that drink? Or were you just more of a light weight than you realized. Your brain was hazy as you rubbed your hands up from his knees to his thighs.

"Do you want me to relieve your stress?"

Silco was caught off guard by your question. Stiffening under your touch as you stared up at him. A longing in your eyes he only noticed in moments like these. Where you sat together and talked as equals. He tried to ignore it. Dismiss it. Claim it to be wishful thinking but here you were.

"How would you do that?" His voice was dripped with curiousity, disbelief hanging on the edge of his words.

"However you wanted me to, it's your stress not mine." You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Is that mouth of yours only for show or can you actually put it to work?"

The implication went straight to your dick. Your smile twitching as you tried to hold it back. You forced the chair to move, making silco sit right Infront of you as you pushed his legs open.

"Tell me how I do after, who knows I could be god awful." You teased.

Unpopping his trouser buttons, Huffing as you had to unbuckle his belt before you could properly pull down the front. Those damn pants. You're never letting him wear these again. What even is this?

With his help you pulled his trousers down to ankles. He hummed disapproving as he stepped on your thigh. It took a moment to figure out what was wrong before it clicked. You carefully unlaced his shoes before slipping them off, one by one. Taking his trousers off too. Leaving him in his shirt.

There were many secrets Silco kept. His body was not one of those. Sure, he was private about it but anyone in his close circle knew. He was not ashamed of it. Simply, he found no need to share it with the world. He is a man. That was it.

Your hands trailed up his bare thighs as you reached for his briefs. Pausing to give him time to reconsider but he just shook his head.

"I thought you wanted to help me?" He mocked. "Are you nervous?"

"Just giving you space to decline."

You pulled them down and placed them along with his trousers. Which were folded next to his shoes.

There it was. A sight of real beauty. You savoured every second you could to look at him. Watching his twitching brow as he shifted his hips. Giving you better access as you lowered your head. Maintaining eye contact as you licked up the wet slick from his folds. You moaned against him, the vibrations going straight to his cock as you sucked on it.

Silco groaned as his hands found their way on your head. Gripping you closer as you sucked and kissed his sensative sex. Your eyes rolling as he grinded against your mouth.

"Ah- good pet."

The nickname only made you more eager. Lapping him up as your tongue dragged up him. Rogue swirling around his clit as your fingers rubbed his folds.

Each noise he made drove you closer to completely loosing yourself. You didn't even realize you closed your eyes as you focused on devouring his wet cunt. Grabbing his hips to press him more against your mouth as you slurped and licked.

You kept prodding at his hole as you greedily ate him out. Gathering up his slick as lubricant. Pushing one finger in as you thrusted it in with a slow steady pace. His legs twitched and shifted. Wrapping around your head loosely as he used your back as a way to keep him propped up.

He was unable to speak. Just moaning as he jerked his hips up. He saw white as his climax crashed over him. Feeling sensative as you gave small kisses to his clit.

"How was I? You asked, mouth glistening from your feast. Leaning back to get a better look at him.

"I'll need you to do that more often." He sighed out. Catching his breath.

"Oh? Was I really that good?"

You were grinning. Utterly smug and chest puffed out with pride. You helped him move his legs from your shoulders. Rubbing them up and down as he sat there. Relaxed and smiling.

"Don't let it get to your head too much, I doubt that brain of yours can handle it."

You let out a fake offended gasp. Clutching your chest as you loudly sniffed. "Wounded - truely."

Silcos eye landed on the prominent bulge in your pants. Smirking as he pressed his foot down on it. You let out a strangled moan as he rubbed it. You gripped his leg as you grinded against his foot. Needing relief more than you thought.

"You talk too much, pet, since you did such a good job-" he leaned back spreading his wet folds with long slender fingers. Your eyes immediately snapped to it.

"I'll let you put it inside."

You immediately tried to scramble up. Rushing to get your pants off as your dick took over your brain. All you could think about was feeling him clench around you. How warm and wet he'll feel. You needed it so bad.

Silco watched with clear amusement. Using it to his advantage to hide his nerves. Whilst he was no blushing maiden, he's had plenty of experience. He's never had someone inside him. He didn't trust anyone enough. But he trusted you. He wanted you.

You picked him up from his seat, propping him up on his desk as you moved everything to the side. Trying not to break anything as you finally kicked off your pants. Your shoes flying off too.

You lined yourself up to his entrance, tracing circles into his hip as you moved forward.

"Wait-" Silco pushed on your shoulder. You immediately stopped as you looked at him.

Was he already regretting this? Did you do something wrong?

"I've never had anyone inside me before."

"You're a virgin?!" Genuine surprise was in your voice. How?! He was him! He was so handsome!

"I used toys, that privilege was reserved for me only."

Fair. You nodded, showing you understood. You tried to calm down your racing heart as another grin tugged on your lips.

"But no one's ever fucked you before?"

"No." He shook his head.

You looked down at his sex. Mind was screaming at you to ruin him. To think, no one has ever fucked him. You'll be the first. First to fuck that delicious pu-

You cut yourself out of your perverted thoughts. Your face was burning as you nodded to yourself.

If he's never had anything other than toys then prep will most definitely be needed. You were prepared to finger him until he was ready but you wanted to give him the extra effort. To go beyond the basics.

You opened the drawer, taking out the vibrator much to his surprise. Just as he was about to ask you how you knew you shushed him. Turning it on as it had a light vibration. You placed it on his clit as you drew light circles. He shivered at the action. Slowly dragging it up and down his sex before pressing it to his hole.

You slowly pushed it in, pressing it to the next mode where it picked up in speed. The vibrations traveling up to his aching clit. You rolled in with your finger as you fucked the vibrator into him slowly. He hissed as it stretched him. He was wet enough he could take it but it still needed abit of a nudge.

As soon as it was inside you began to fuck him with it. Wet sounds coming from his pussy as your hand moved faster. Aiming for quick and deep as you stretched him out.

With attention on his cock and being fucked he was growing more sensitive. Absolutely Dripping as he gripped your arm. Steadying himself as he threw his head back. A loud moan echoing through the room as the vibrations grew more fierce. Now on the third setting.

"Fuck me-!" He demanded. Gritting his teeth as he tried to force back the familiar sensation. His release coming quicker than he desired.

You slowed down your movements as you turned off the vibrator. Linging yourself back up with his entrance before you stopped. Scanning him up and down. Before silco could ask you suddenly flipped him over. Pushing his chair closer to the desk. Pressing his ass to your cock as he had one leg propped up on the desk and the other just balanced on the chair.

You finally pushed yourself in. practically drooling at how snug he felt around your shaft. Clenching around you as you thrusted in deeper. Doing exactly as what you did with the vibrator. Easing in until there was less resistance.

It wasn't until the last few inches were in did he start grinding back. Trying to take you in fully as he let out a moan. His brain needing one thing and he was losing paitence.

"Go on , fuck me."

You let out a shaky breath as you pulled out enough. Just leaving the tip in before thrusting back in. Hitting right past the stubborn ring of muscle and exactly where he needed. From this angle he could feel how deep you were thrusting into him. Hitting a spot even he couldn't.

Silco leaned on the desk as he gripped the edge of it. Barely able to prop himself up as you grabbed his hips.

Your moans mixing together as you watched your cock sink into him. Everytime you came out you could see how wet he was.

"You really like this, huh? Like me fucking your pretty little hole."

Your ears were burning. Oh god what were you saying.

"All this power and yet here you are." You pounded into him with one hard thrust. "Letting some nobody fuck you like this."

"You're not some nobody." He gritted out. His words mixing with his Groans. There was still a slight ache but the pleasure was too much to focus on that. It felt too good to stop.

"You're mine."

Your brain suddenly went blank as you stared down at him. Your eyes meeting. A dark possessive fire in his eye as he looked back at you. It was if something posses you. You were moving faster than you thought you could. No longer sparing him as you chased your every desire.

To feel him be stuffed with your cock moaning for you. To please him. To make him come undone. To make him yours. You were his and he needed to be yours.

The words 'your mine' repeating in your head making you whimper.

"Just like that." He breathed out. Enjoying the rougher treatment. Feeling your nails dig into his flesh.

"I fucking love you, I love how good you feel - how you take me- made for me."

The words came out your mouth before you could even process them. Silco clawed at your wrists as he moaned desperately. Neither of you caring for volume.

"You're so perfect for me, pet." His words came out shaky as he felt his sensative he was becoming. "There's no one I trust more than you."

You hooked your arm under his waist, pulling him up as you jerked your hips up. He was bouncing on your dick as he held onto the desk. He reached out with one hand for you tie. Pulling you closer to him as his lips messily met yours. Barely able to kiss from your position but you both tried none of the less.

It was sloppy. Teeth getting in the way. Tongues just getting inside the others mouth as you moaned. It was passionate. Messy. But that's how you liked it. That's how Silco was. Under all his classy looks and composed facade. That who he was. You couldn't ask for anything different.

"Thank you." You kept thanking him as you felt yourself getting closer.

Why were you thinking him? Too many reasons to count. you couldn't think of a single one in that moment. Just focusing on how wet he was and his noises.

"I'm gonna-" you stuttered out.

"Do it." He gasped out. "inside."

You thrusted deep and hard as hot ropes of cum filled him up. He shivered as your released prompted his own. Overstimulation hitting him as you slowly fucked him through both of your highs.

As soon as you slipped out you helped him down from his desk. Picking him up and taking him the much more comfy sofa. Laying him down as you pulled out a Handkerchief from your pocket. Cleaning him up before doing so with yourself.

His hair was a mess. Drool was running down his chin. Shirt crinkled and folded up to show his stomach. His makeup smudged from sweat and when he his face was pressed against his desk.

You sighed dreamily. Running your hands through his dark hair, spotting more grey hairs. Silco hummed as he grasped your wrist.

"Did I do good?" You asked. Voice soft as you watched him kiss your palm.

"Better than good." He locked eyes with you. Smiling, loopy and relaxed.

You adjusted his position. Laying behind him as you held him close to your chest. Kissing his shoulder as you buried your face into it. Neither of caring for the future. Just blissful and shimmering in the afterglow.

[eyndr-stories]

The Stranger The Better (FNAF SB fanfic) C12 - ...Okay Maybe It's An Addiction

Read the intro to Chapter 1 (Enter A Sleepy Bitchard) for more details! I'd start reading there anyways else things won't make a whole lot of sense lol

In Summary: Reader is a forever exhausted young adult who has social difficulties doing their best to pay the bills, so when they get hired at the well-paying, almost entirely automated Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizza-Plex, they don't really hesitate to think things through before stumbling headfirst into a horror mystery surrounding this company and its crew of quirky (and surprisingly kind) animatronics.

Things To Know (lmk if I should add anything, also check the tags for more stuff):

There are some horror elements in several chapters! This chapter is not particularly spooky, there's just a lot of exposition and important plot stuff and some nice character interactions.

Eventual romance, minorly important to the plot.

Reader has paranoia.

There is much swearing.

Reader is also addicted to energy drinks, and not fantastic at self care.

Reader is nonbinary (and also trans masc) though it's not vital to the plot and only comes up once or twice.

Reader is from the south, is protective of their friends, and if you threaten their friends then I'm afraid you've yee'd your last haw and yes that is important to the plot

Previous Chapter | Chapter 12 | Next Chapter

C12 - ...Okay Maybe It's An Addiction

     This new schedule was throwing you off. You were setting all kinds of alarms and reminders to make sure you were where you needed to be when you needed to be there. There wasn't much time for your research, which you'd thrown yourself into headfirst in order to help distract from your feelings until they went away.

     You hated the management at the pizza-plex, for many reasons. It felt personal to you, now that you'd gotten to know all the animatronics. You didn't want to just let management use and abuse the animatronics how they saw fit. Besides, if you didn't figure out how to bring management down, who would?

     You weren't very good at research. All you really got were adds for the pizza-plex and its line of merch, and a bunch of old advertisements from when the place had its grand re-opening three years ago. You sighed and considered making plans to check out the public library for information.

     If you ever had the time, that is.

     Luckily, you didn't have as many days or hours at the deli coming up. Today was not one of those days, however. You had a short shift at the deli, followed by two hours at the plex, followed by a longer closing shift back at the deli, and then a night shift at the plex. You also had a tummy ache, but you were being very brave about it. You downed an energy drink on the way to work at the deli.

     At the plex, there was some trouble as a few kids got very upset during snack time when Moon ran out of the popular cracker snacks shaped like the glamrocks. The kids were inconsolable, in tears, and one was even screaming. Sun came to the rescue and consoled the children with candy, if the kids agreed to settle for a different snack. You asked to try one of the candies, since it looked special. It wasn't for sale in any of the gift shops, and didn't have a brand name or anything on its wrapper, just a little sun icon. You recalled a box of candy among Moon's belongings, which you remembered matched his theme. Sun hesitantly told you that the candy was just for the kids, and you shouldn't have any. You, now even more curious, made plans to steal some later.

     Another energy drink on your way back to the deli. A customer berated you for putting an obscene amount of black olives (a regular amount of black olives) on her sub. Another customer came up to the counter five minutes before closing and simply could not figure out what she wanted, but boy did she sure want a lot of it. You opened, sliced a sample of, and re-wrapped and put away nearly every meat and cheese in the case before the customer realized there was a fresh slice case, full of the pre-sliced packs of meats and cheeses you'd been working on for the past two hours. She took every pack of cheese in the case, so you had to slice more to restock it before you could get to cleaning. One of your coworkers, the one who was always complaining about one thing or another (what was her name?? You could never remember) did your dishes without you asking and then complained about having to do everything herself. You ignored her and exchanged riddles with your manager until everything was done and you could finally leave.

     You clocked into the plex for the second time, snatching another energy drink from the fridge. You turned around and nearly leapt out of your skin when you saw someone else in the room with you.

     "Fucking shit. Sorry. Hi, Vanessa. Sorry, I didn't hear you come in." You took a few breaths to calm down. You weren't sure when you'd gotten so jumpy.

     "What are you doing here?" Vanessa asked. She punched in, then turned back around to scrutinize you.

     "…I work here? I'm Y/N, the other security guard. We met once in the parking lot," you said.

     Vanessa gave you a tired look. "I mean why are you here right now? I'm scheduled to be here till one. You don't need to be here till then."

     "Oh. I guess management accidentally scheduled us both." You checked your email and re-read your schedule just to be certain. "They just re-worked my schedule so I could supervise Moon, it's probably just a small error they made when changing stuff around."

     Vanessa sighed. "Whatever." She breezed past you and started fixing herself a cup of coffee. The keys hanging on her hip jangled lightly as she went. You noticed a little bunny charm hanging off a keychain, and noted subconsciously that Vanessa seemed to like bunnies.

     You were about to leave and start your rounds, but… you didn't get much opportunity to talk to Vanessa. Not only did you want to form your own opinions of her, but you knew she'd been working here since the place opened. She was bound to know something or other about management, right?

     You took a very casual sip of your energy drink. "…Leave it to management to make a fuck up like this, huh?"

     "Right." Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Those dumbasses don't know a damn thing about what goes on around here. They don't care. All they want is money."

     "Greedy bastards," you agreed.

     "They don't care if people get hurt. They're selfish. Thoughtless."

     You took this as a good sign. She was not only willing to talk to you, but she had to have a reason or two for dissing management. You went on, hoping to encourage her to keep talking. "Right?? Like, they were considering getting rid of Moon because they couldn't figure out the issue with his weird bug. Like legit get rid of him."

     Vanessa scoffed. "Who gives a shit about the animatronics?"

     You were momentarily speechless, somewhat startled by her incredible lack of compassion. There was no way after three years she didn't know the animatronics were just as sentient as anyone else.

     Vanessa went on, glaring down at the coffee pot as it slowly churned out her coffee, filling the styrofoam cup. "They'll just sweep it all under the rug, rebrand, claim it'll be different this time around. Can't have a high employee turnover rate if there's barely any employees to begin with."

     You weren't sure what to say. You wanted to yell at her, you'd told her management wanted to off Moon and her response was to demean the animatronics and then avoid the topic altogether. But… what the hell was she talking about??

     "What do you mean? High employee turnover rate?" you questioned.

     "Back before they closed, when they didn't have security bots and staff bots, they had people. Good, honest, hard working, flesh and blood people. Animatronics like these were so new… still are, for the most part. Not a lot of regulations around them. Not many people who's job it is to make sure they're running right. Make sure they're safe." Vanessa glared at her coffee. It was done pouring, but she didn't move to take it.

     "…What are you saying? The turnover rate was high because…?"

     "No reason I can prove." Vanessa snatched up her coffee, chugged it all, then tossed the cup in the trash. "Hope I don't see you again anytime soon." She left the room.

     You stood there for a long moment, processing and reeling from the conversation. You took a long drink from your can, then started your rounds.

     You came to the conclusion that there was maybe more going on here than you'd thought. According to Vanessa, there'd been some issues with the classic animatronics, leading to people getting hurt, or… worse. Which the company seems to have covered up quite well. Of course, enough money will do that, and this was a very lucrative entertainment business. You weren't sure how to go about validating any of these claims. Maybe Vanessa was messing with you, trying to get you to quit or something. She didn't seem to like you very much. But she had seemed so… passionate. So angry. It was hard for you to believe she was lying.

     So then, in the case it was true, a sane person would likely cease all investigation, probably start looking for a new job, keep their nose out of it. But you were not sane. You were insatiably curious. You also held a deep hatred for management, and didn't care much for your own safety or well-being.

     You opened your writing app and tapped out some notes, recounting what Vanessa had said while it was still fresh in your mind. You got back to your rounds, planning to keep your ear to the ground and your nose as far into this business as you could get it. You finished off your energy drink and tossed the can into the garbage.

     "Those are bad for you."

     You were started out of your thoughts by Moon, who had come up behind you, and oh shit you were supposed to meet him at the daycare before starting your rounds-

     "Ahhhh, man! I'm sorry, Moon. I totally spaced. It's been a long day," you said sheepishly.

     Moon pouted. "I can't believe you forgot all about me. You must hate me."

     You rolled your eyes. "I don't hate you."

     "Ohh, woe is me. Forgotten, left behind, tossed to the wayside." Moon swooned dramatically.

     "I would never!"

     "Abandoned… betrayed…" Moon pretended to weep.

     "Alright, I'm leaving." You rolled your eyes and continued walking.

     Moon walked next to you. "How was your day?"

     "Ugh. It was whatever. How was yours?"

     Moon looked at you for a long moment. "It was alright. After you left Sun had a tea party with the kids. I took a rest. Chica came to say hi around closing time." Moon flipped the hood of your hoodie up.

     You pulled the hood back down and readjusted your hat. "Chica's nice, I like her."

     "What did you do at the deli today? You aren't disgusting so you must not have been in the kitchen," Moon said.

     You rolled your eyes. "Dealt with some irritating people, sliced a lot of meat and cheese, made subs, packed and served hot food. The usual."

     "You seem tense." Moon poked your shoulder.

     "That's just how I am normally. I'm a stiff person, I don't sleep well."

     Moon poked your shoulder again. "You should sleep more."

     "No time. Not to mention, it's never really restful."

     "Tell me about these bad dreams of yours," Moon said.

     "You don't wanna know."

     "If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have asked." Moon poked you again.

     "Alright, alright." You swatted his hand away and huffed. "Usually there's a lot of fear and stress and… well, I'm hunted down and brutally murdered frequently. For the past couple months, every now and then I'll get a really vivid dream, and there's always this anthropomorphic rabbit. In the last one I had, I was in the arctic with this dog, and I loved the dog, but then the dog turned into the rabbit and started chasing me. And there was nowhere to hide in the void of snow, nowhere to run when your tracks always lead right to you… Actually, that's part of why I wasn't so psyched about you animatronics when I first started. But there doesn't seem to be any bunny animatronics here, so that's good news for me."

     "There… used to be. Until a year ago."

     "Bonnie, right? The bear guy got really upset when I asked him about Bonnie," you prompted.

     "I don't doubt it." Moon looked away. He looked sad himself, but not sad like the bear bot. Moon almost looked guilty. Moon noticed your attention on him, and his face quickly snapped into neutrality. "I'm sorry to hear about the nightmares. They sound awful. Have you spoken to a healthcare professional?"

     You laughed. "In this economy?? No way. I'm too busy anyways." You studied Moon, who still appeared neutral. "You seem tense," you said, copying what Moon had said earlier.

     Moon rolled his eyes. "I'm fine."

     You 'tsk'ed at him and stopped walking so you could give him your full attention. "Should have never told me you could lie. I might have believed that."

     "Is it too late to convince you that I am actually possessed by the souls of a hundred spiders and therefor cannot lie?" Moon started to crouch down.

     "Yes, far too late, don't you dare," you said quickly.

     Moon chuckled and straightened back up. He looked away. "…Pass."

     "Oh. Alright." If Moon didn't want to talk about it, you weren't about to make him. "Wanna go say hi to Mister Music?"

     Moon smiled. "I'd love to."

~~~

     Moon only joined you on the rounds for half the night, staying in the daycare with Sun after a short relaxing break. Moon attempted to convince you it was because he didn't want Sun to be lonely, but it was fairly obvious that he missed being with Sun just as much as Sun missed him.

     You weren't too upset, it gave you more time to think and process. What you needed was more information, preferably from some different and more reliable sources.

     As they say, however, beggars can't be choosers.

     It wasn't too surprising that you wound up getting more information from Chica. Every other conversation you had with her, she was filling you in on all the juicy gossip the pizza-plex had to offer. You weren't sure how she knew as much as she did, but she sure did know a lot.

     You'd been investigating some noise in the backroom of a gift shop (just Chica doing her thing, of course) when you'd actually found an old box full of plushies sharing the likeliness of an animatronic you hadn't met before. It was the fox guy, who was dressed like a pirate with an eyepatch and a cutlass and a long bright blue jacket. He had a clever grin and a cute little pirate hat.

     "That's Foxy! Or… it was supposed to be," Chica said. She had this look in her eye, and you knew you were in for it. Garbage forgotten, she lifted one of the plushies and turned it over in her hands.

     "Oh yeah?" you prompted eagerly.

     "So, the story is that Foxy was supposed to cover pirate cove, right? That was originally his area. But then the budget got reworked, and they couldn't afford to finish him, even though they had the area all ready to go. But a few things don't add up, right?" Chica paused.

     You were listening with rapt attention, which Chica seemed pleased with.

     Chica leaned in close and whispered. "Well, rumor has it… Foxy was already completed when they supposedly 'reworked the budget'. But he went missing, and no one knows where or how. Moon got in a lot of trouble with management, since it happened sometime in the night, on his watch. That's when they promoted Vanessa, to help with security. And then he got that bug a couple months later, and then Bonnie went missing a year ago… Moon's been on temporary dismissal since then. I was a little worried that when management hired you, they'd finally decided to permanently dismiss him, and you were his replacement… but it looks like they just had that whole separation project in the works. I'm really glad things worked out."

     "Yeah… right." You weren't sure how much weight to put in this rumor. Chica had once told you that Vanessa absolutely despised bunnies, so you weren't sure whether to trust in the accuracy of this information. You decided to take notes later anyways, just to be safe.

"Say, you sure do spend a lot of time with Sun and Moon. You hang out with them every night, right?" Chica asked.

"Maybe. Why??" You squinted at her.

"No reason~!" Chica giggled.

She got back to her trash, and you got back to your rounds.

     At the end of your shift, you clocked out and set your map on top of the minifridge, where you usually left it so you wouldn't loose it. You made it to your car, head buzzing with all sorts of disorganized thoughts and clutter and feelings. The moment you sat down, the exhaustion hit, and you took a long moment to just… sit.

     You knew it was dangerous to just sit. To be idle, to let your mind wander. Naturally, you found yourself thinking about Sun and Moon. Those ridiculous jesters… when had you gotten so attached to them? And… why?

     Maybe it was because of the way they treated you. With care and respect, like they thought you were worth something. They seemed so attached to you, and damn was the attention addicting. You felt a little pitiful, realizing just how lonely you'd been before coming to work here. Sun and Moon were so concerned with your health and your safety, the last thing either of them wanted was to hurt you.

     All things you'd been missing, longing for without realizing it.

     You thought again about how lonely you were, and why exactly that was. Could you even trust yourself? Trust your own feelings, trust that you actually did have crushes on Sun and Moon, when maybe, actually, you were just lonely and they'd given you a bit of positive attention, and now here you were, falling apart in your car in a lonely parking lot, unsure of what was real, and what was just in your head.

     You jumped at a soft knocking sound on your passenger window. You looked up through blurry twilight shadows -when had you started crying??- to see the bear bot standing just outside. You quickly wiped your face and rolled down the window.

     "Hey, superstar. Is everything alright?" the bear asked softly. He looked concerned.

     "Peachy keen." You used your sleeve to dry your eyes, doing your damndest to stop crying and relax.

     "…Would you like some company?" the bear offered.

     You hesitated for a long moment. You hated the loneliness, the horrible weight of it. You were ashamed to be crying, but… you really did not want to be alone.

     You nodded, and unlocked the door.

     The bear climbed inside, awkwardly adjusting the seat to better fit his massive bulky frame. He carefully closed the door behind him and set his hands on his knees, which were nearly touching his chest.

     "What are you doing out here anyways?" you asked.

     The bear glanced out at the shadowed building beyond the windshield, lit faintly by sparse yellow lights lining the parking lot. "Well, sometimes it can get a little… stifling. In the plex. It helps me at times to step outside and look at the stars and listen to the crickets. I technically never leave the property, so no one can complain. You walked right past me on your way to your car, and you seemed so deep in thought, I did not want to disturb you. But then you did not drive away, and I saw you were crying..."

     "I just… I dunno. I'm just tired." You folded your arms over the wheel and set your chin in your arms, partially hiding your face.

     "People usually do not cry from tiredness alone," the bear said.

     You sighed. "Why do you want to know?"

     The bear looked at you. "Because I care about you, superstar," he said sincerely.

     That did it for you. You started crying again. You started talking, and once you started, you just couldn't stop. You told the bear everything. A part of you was horribly reluctant to confide in him, to let him know things he could easily use to hurt you, but a much bigger part of you was just too tired to care. Maybe it was something about how kind and supportive the bear seemed. There was something about him that made him seem trustworthy.

     You told him about what had happened to you almost a year ago now, the events that had led you here, in need of money to stay afloat. Your fiancé had cheated on you with your friend and roommate. Your now ex-fiancé decided they didn't want to be with you anymore, even though they'd accepted your proposal, even though they'd been the one to tease and ask about when you were going to propose already, even though they'd been the one to say 'I love you' first. They hadn't even told you why, after all that time, they just suddenly didn't want you anymore. They'd lied to you about a lot of things. They weren't the person you thought they were, the person you trusted most to not hurt you. They ran off with your roommate, and you could no longer afford the place you'd been renting. Living alone was alright some days, but the days when you couldn't shake the loneliness, the empty bed, the quiet walls… some days just hit a little too hard.

     When you finally stopped and looked up at the bear, you realized with shock that he'd started crying at some point as well. Animatronics could cry, apparently.

     "Oh, Y/N. I am so truly sorry," the bear whispered.

     You weren't sure how to decipher the heavy emotion in the bear's tone. "…I don't want pity. That's the last fucking thing I need."

     "I do not feel pity for you. I feel empathy. I do not cry for you. I cry with you," the bear said.

     "Oh." You took a moment to study the bear. You saw that familiar sadness on his face, the sadness that had taken you by surprise that night he'd introduced you to DJMM and accompanied you on your rounds. "Oh. I see."

     The bear nodded. "I understand what it feels like to suddenly loose someone you love very much. It is jarring, when they are simply just… gone. There one night and gone the next, and you just do not know why, and no one has the answer. No one knows what happened to Bonnie. He just… disappeared."

     You understood, and your heart hurt. "I'm so sorry."

     The bear closed his eyes and heaved a long sigh. "It is important to remember that you are not alone. You and I, we have friends to help support us and give us company when we need it. It is also important to remember that the events and decisions of others is beyond our control. All we can control is ourselves. So long as we do our best to be our best, we will make it through okay."

     You wrapped your arms around yourself. "But… what if being my best isn't good enough? It wasn't good enough for them."

     "That is their loss, superstar. I mean it. You are a positive light in this world and I for one am lucky to know you." The bear set a hand on your shoulder.

     You smiled. "I'm gonna start crying again."

     "That is okay. Crying is a natural release of large amounts of emotion." The bear rubbed your arm comfortingly. "You do not ever need to cry alone in your car. You can always come to me if you need to, I will listen and do my best to help."

     You hesitated to accept help, but damn this bear was so fucking comforting. "…Thanks. I appreciate it. I… I feel like I shouldn't need help. Like, I should be able to take care of myself."

     "I do not doubt that you can take care of yourself. It is not difficult to tell that you are very strong and independent and resilient. I am very proud of you, superstar. You should know, things do not have to be as hard as they are. A burden becomes much lighter when you have friends to help you carry it."

     "That’s… yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." You took a deep breath and let it out. "Man. I think I really needed that. Just like, talking about it made me feel better. That's so weird."

     The bear smiled. "I am very happy to be of help. If I may offer you some more advice?"

     "Anytime."

     "Try to get some sleep. I know you work very hard, and it is important to get enough rest as well. You could wind up getting sick."

     "You sound like Moon." You rolled your eyes. "I'll try. No promises, but I'll try."

     "Thank you. I will let you get home so you can do just that. Will you be alright?" the bear asked.

     "Yeah, you know me. I'll be fine." You smiled. "Thanks."

     "Okay." The bear carefully climbed back out of the car. He paused before closing the door behind him. "Know that I think you are doing amazing, and I am very proud of you."

     "Thank you. That makes me feel nice." You did indeed feel very nice and special inside. It was so validating to be told that you were doing a good job, after all your hard work, your long days, your even longer nights.

     You waved goodbye to the bear bot and drove yourself home down familiar quiet roads. You slept a little easier that night.

~~~

     Over the next three weeks, you enjoyed shorter and fewer shifts at the deli.

     You spent your free time attempting research, but you couldn’t find anything about the old pizzeria, save for marketing campaigns and collectables and old merchandise for sale.

     You didn’t run into Vanessa, and you were starting to get the feeling she was avoiding you. Even if you came in early to your shorter shifts, Vanessa’s car was already gone. Maybe she was parking around back or down the road? You weren’t sure, and you weren’t complaining.

     The bear, on the other hand, came to check on you at least once a night. He would let you talk about how you’d been feeling and lament with you and give you advice on managing loneliness and sadness. Most of his advice was just to spend more quality time with friends and loved ones and make time to do the things you enjoy, which you supposed was still good advice, if only you had the time or energy.

     Chica came to visit the daycare often, stating how convenient it was to check in on three pals at once. Sun roped her into a tea party one night, where she gossiped about how Roxy had accidentally broken her race car, snapping the wheel clean off. Several kids had seen her do this, as she'd been in the middle of a race, and while she and everyone else was fine and uninjured, she lost the race and was extremely upset. Chica said it was nowhere near as embarrassing as when she herself had gotten a little too into the music a few days ago and had broken her guitar in the middle of a show. Luckily, the crowd had assumed it was on purpose and went wild.

     You went to Roxy’s room afterwards to check on her, but she was an inconsolable mess, so you sat with her and kept her company until she calmed down.

     Mister Music introduced you to a weird little robot he called ‘Lil Music Man’ who you got the feeling was not really management approved. He looked like a miniature version of DJMM, and was roughly the size of a cat. The little guy hid in the vents, as Mister Music explained to you. He wanted you to know, in case you ever spotted Lil Music Man on your rounds, though apparently the little guy had been crafty enough to avoid you so far. You dubbed the tiny robot Mini Man and swore to keep him a secret. He was a little creepy, but you couldn’t help but love the little guy. He was just a tiny version of DJMM, like his little brother or something. You thought it was adorable, how the DJ would dote over the little guy.

     To your pleasant surprise, Monty actually seemed to regard you as a close friend now, and was always delighted to see you. He would always tease you or, as he’d gotten into the habit of lately, would pretend to square off with you, and then before leaving he’d assure you that the next time he saw you it was on sight.

     One night, after a round of pretend fighting, you asked him if he’d run out of lightbulbs yet.

     “Not yet. Why?” Monty asked.

     “Look at me, man. I’m so fuckin small. I can only bottle up so much rage in this tiny frame, ya know?”

     Monty laughed, and the two of you ended up down in the warehouse for another round of cathartic lightbulb smashing.

     Monty told you that the journaling had been helping with his stress, but not the memory problems. He explained that he’d figured out what was causing the problems, though. He was overheating too much, and it was likely causing some internal damage. He told you he hadn’t been able to complete a recharge cycle in a long time, and his systems were suffering. You could see it yourself in the way he moved, not as fluid and confidant as he was when you’d first met him.

     “I’ve got a complete routine maintenance exam coming up in a week, though, so I’ll tell the tech and have them figure out what’s up with my sleep cycle,” Monty said.

     “That sounds good. I hope they fix the problem,” you said.

     “Me too,” Monty agreed.

     You were actually wondering how Monty was holding up, entirely lost in thought, when you felt your hat leave your head.

     Confused, you looked up from the daycare’s security desk to see Sun had set the hat on one of the rays at the top of his head. You rolled your eyes, barely containing a smile. Both Sun and Moon loved to steal your hat. You had begrudgingly come to accept this fact.

     “Howdy sunflower,” you greeted quietly.

     Moon was in the middle of a story, though it was one you’d already heard before. Today’s small bundle of kids were listening with rapt attention as Moon flawlessly transitioned from different character voices as the cast of adventurers made their plans to thwart the evil wizard’s plots.

     “Hello, dear. Watcha thinking about?” Sun leaned on the other side of the desk and smiled at you.

     “I’m not sure… my thinking cap seems to have vanished. Not a single thought in this brain,” you said.

     “Oh goodness, wherever could it have gone??” Sun put a hand up to his forehead, shielding his eyes as he looked all around for the hat, which was not only already shielding his eyes, but located atop his own head.

     “Not a clue.” You laughed.

     “Hm. I believe I recall a magic spell to make lost security hats reappear…” Sun tapped his chin thoughtfully.

     “What a convenient and specific spell,” you remarked.

     “Indeed! Now close your eyes, or the magic won’t work!”

     You gave Sun a curious look, but indulged him and closed your eyes.

     “No peeking!” Sun warned.

     You smiled and put your hands over your eyes, ensuring that you were not peeking.

     “Zip zippity… hat zaloo!” Sun exclaimed. “Here we are! You can look now.”

     You uncovered your eyes to see your hat sitting atop the monitor, Sun’s beaming face just behind it. You had an eyebrow raised and were about to make a comment on ‘hat zaloo’ when you realized there were now pins on the hat. Two of them, made of cardboard and paint and safety pins and no small amount of glitter glue. One was a simple little scene in a circular boundary, featuring a beach and an ocean and a big bright sun hanging high in the sky. The other was also in a circular boundary, but contained a crescent moon instead, with a little sheriff badge at its center.

     “Oh, what…?” You lifted the hat and studied the pins closely. “Where did these come from??”

     Sun was bouncing up and down with excitement. “Moon and I made them for you!”

     You gasped. “Wait, really?? These are for me?” You looked at the pins again. You could clearly see which pin was from who. “Aw, you didn’t have to do that!”

     “Sun! You were supposed to wait till nap time.” Moon quietly stalked over, leaving a pile of napping kids behind him.

     “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t wait.” Sun smiled sheepishly. “We’ve been waiting to give them to you all day, Y/N.”

     “Yes. We made them this morning and apparently a few hours was too much to ask of Sun.” Moon rolled his eyes.

     “You’re the one who gave them both to me for safekeeping! You know how impatient I am,” Sun said.

     You interrupted their squabbling. “Guys… I love these. They’re so nice. I cant believe you made these for me… thank you.” You beamed at Sun and Moon.

     Sun and Moon both smiled.

     “Of course, sunshine! I know they’re sort of poor quality, but they’ve got a lot of love in them!”

     “Sorry they’re not better. We wanted to make actual nice glossy pins, but we don’t have the right materials for that,” Moon fidgeted and glanced at Sun.

     You stood up and took a hand each, one of Sun’s, and one of Moon’s. “These are the sweetest gifts I've ever received. I will treasure them dearly. Than you so much.”

     Sun swayed happily while Moon tugged his nightcap over his eyes.

     You sneezed, with enough sudden force to send you backwards into your chair. Moon and Sun glanced back at the kids, but luckily the noise hadn’t woken any of them.

     “Ugh! That’s it, i’m cleaning this desk.” You stepped out from behind the desk and headed to the supply closet.

     “Oh thank goodness,” Sun whispered. “What did we ever do to deserve you, Y/N?”

     You put your fists on your hips and assumed a heroic stance. “Just doing my duty, citizen.”

     “Heh… duty.” Moon grinned at you.

     “Oh so that’s funny but actual jokes with clever puns aren’t?” You made it back to the desk, cleaning supplies in hand.

     "We hang out with kids all day, what do you expect? Also, puns are not funny, they're annoying." Moon folded his arms.

     "You're annoying," Sun shot back.

     The two continued to bicker as you wiped down the desk and started sorting through the drawers, putting away loose papers and random office supplies.

     "Hey, it's bear guy!" You pulled a replica of the bear bot's head out of one of the drawers. It was small enough to fit in your hand. "What is this, a paperweight?"

     Sun leaned over the desk to see what you were holding. "Oh, boop the nose!"

     You did so, and were rewarded with a fun little congratulatory sound effect as the tiny bear's mouth opened, revealing a shiny card inside. 'Security Clearance Level 3' was printed on the card's surface.

     "Before they came out with those fancy new watches, they used to have these cards that would unlock doors and such. Staff were required to carry around cards up to their approved security clearance level in order to access different areas of the building. It was very cumbersome, and people kept loosing cards, so they came out with the watches and stored the cards in the security desks around the plex instead, as a backup in case the watches malfunctioned," Sun explained.

     "So wait. Different doors needed different level cards to unlock them?" you questioned.

     Sun nodded. "That's right!"

     "That's so inconvenient. Why not just have one card that unlocks all the doors?" You scowled down at the card.

     "Probably to keep certain employees from accessing certain areas." Sun shrugged.

     You closed the card back in its bear bot head holder and set it on the desk after a moment of consideration. It was kinda cute.

"Wait... you keep calling him 'bear guy'. Y/N... do you not know his name??" Moon questioned.

Fuck. Shit. You'd been found out. "Uh. I know it! It's just. Um. 'Bear guy' is just like a nickname."

Moon and sun both shared a disbelieving look. Curse your horrible lying skills.

"Then what's his name?" Sun asked.

"Uh..... Frank?" You winced. You knew that wasn't right.

Sun giggled, and Moon put a hand over his enormous grin. Your face felt hot, and you crossed your arms.

"Well, what is it?? I can't just ask him. I've known him for months now!" You huffed.

Sun and Moon shared another look.

"...You're not gonna tell me, are you." You sighed.

"It's more fun this way." Moon snickered.

"Whatever." You stuck your tongue out at them and busied yourself with finishing up the cleaning. There wasn't much cleaning left to do, but luckily Sun offered a change of topic.

     "Wanna see a trick I can do with your watch?" Sun asked.

     "Sure?" You looked at your watch curiously.

     A smiling sun emoticon popped up on the screen, spun around, then vanished.

     "How'd you do that??" you asked.

     Sun smiled. "A magician never reveals his secrets!"

     "Since he's not in safe mode he's on the system, which means he can connect to your watch, since it's also on the system," Moon explained.

     Sun gave Moon a sour look.

     "What is… the system?" You asked carefully, feeling like the question was dumb. You could only handle so much embarrassment in a day.

     "The system is what everything here runs on. Every machine and animatronic and bot is linked to it, so everything runs as smoothly as possible," Sun said patiently.

     Moon chimed in. "It's sort of like wifi, or the radio. Signals are transmitted through the air that tell the security bots where to patrol, receive updates, send information back to management in their offices. It’s a very small and secure radius, it covers the plex and nothing more. We can connect to the internet if we want to, but usually we don't want to. The ads are annoying."

     "Speaking of that, I've been doing a little bit of research!" Sun straightened up and looked at you.

     "Uh oh. What's that look?" You squinted suspiciously.

     Sun lifted a finger in the air, as if he were about to give a lecture. "Did you know that its recommended that you should consume no more than four hundred milligrams of caffeine a day? Are you aware that each one of your energy drinks contains three hundred and fifty milligrams of caffeine?"

     You glanced at the empty energy drink on the desk. You'd finished it earlier. These days, you were downing at least three a day.

     Sun continued. "Side effects of drinking energy drinks can include and are not limited to upset stomach, leg weakness, heart palpitations, being jittery, nervousness, agitation, difficulty concentrating, hyperactivity, problems sleeping, nausea, and can affect your blood pressure."

     "Huh." You picked up the empty can and studied it. Sure enough, you found a little line of text near the bottom reading 'contains 350 mg of caffeine'. "Well. Thanks for telling me."

     Sun gasped. "So you'll stop drinking those??"

     You smiled sheepishly. "…Thanks for telling me so I can make informed bad decisions."

     Sun sighed heavily and set his faceplate down on the desk.

     "Dove, listen. We only bug you about this because we care about you. We want you to be healthy and happy," Moon said.

Sun lifted his head and nodded in agreement.

     You looked at them. The care in their eyes was apparent, you could feel it yourself for them. Your heart felt funny.

"I didn't want to have to do this… but I'm cashing in my favor," Sun said firmly.

     "Huh??"

     "I did you a favor a long while ago, and you promised that you would owe me one. Y/N, you have to try to quit drinking energy drinks," Sun said, folding his arms.

     Well, you did owe him one. You weren't about to go back on your word. Besides, Sun and Moon were both looking at you, and it was still making your heart feel funny. You sighed. "Alright, alright. I'll try to quit."

     Sun and Moon shared a delighted expression.

     "That's wonderful! I'm so proud of you, Y/N." Sun swayed happily.

     "We'll help you any way we can," Moon said.

     "Thanks, guys." You tossed the can in the trash.

     This wouldn't be too hard. Its not like you needed the energy drinks, they just helped you stay on top of your game. You'd be fine. Besides, it was important to Sun and Moon, and you were starting to realize that you'd do just about anything for them.

~~~

     "This is the worst. I'm in hell. Pain and suffering and misery." You set your head against the wall. The drowsiness instantly began to set in, so you quickly lifted your head.

     "You're doing great," Moon said. He looked amused.

"I am in misery," you sang, tiredly kicking at the wall for good measure.

"Oh, it's not so bad, you pitiful canary." Moon lightly pulled at your sleeve.

     You turned to face Moon, leaning sideways against the wall. "I can't believe you stole all my energy drinks from the mini fridge. Where'd you put em, huh?" you demanded.

     "Trash."

     You gaped at Moon. "Trash???"

     "Trash." Moon nodded. "They're gone forever."

     "…I mean, not really. I've still got some at home," you said.

     "I know where you live," Moon stated casually.

     "I'll just buy more from the store!"

     "I'll steal all of them from the store," Moon said.

     "I thought yall didn't like stealing?" You raised an eyebrow.

     "Stealing is prohibited in the daycare. The store is not in the daycare." Moon gave you a cheeky smile.

     "Ugh, this is ridiculous. I'm gonna pass out, man. I'm so tired." You trudged on through the plex, doing your best to make it through the rounds. This was your third night energy drink free, and the withdrawal was slowly killing you, although it was admittedly better than yesterday.

     "Take a nap."

     "I'm at work!"

     "You don't get enough sleep," Moon said.

     "I don't like sleeping," you grumbled. "Moon, I've got the worst headache and I'm so tiiiiiiired."

     "I'll finish the rounds. You take a nap," Moon offered.

     "I'm supposed to be supervising you. You're still a deputy for another two days." You stuck your tongue out at Moon.

     "I feel fine. Omari was right, the problem vanished as soon as Sun and I were separated," Moon argued.

     "Well I still don't wanna loose my job." You fiddled with your watch, checking the cameras. You paused as you realized something. "Hey… there's still coffee in the breakroom, right?"

     "…No," Moon lied.

     You casually and quickly altered course, making a beeline for the breakroom. You got five steps before Moon caught you, lifting you up off the ground.

     "Moon, common," you whined. "I'm dyinggg!"

     "Stop being so dramatic. You're fine." Moon rolled his eyes. "You're going through withdrawal."

     "I know and it sucks."

     Moon turned around and set you down, standing between you and the hall to the breakroom.

     "You can do this, dove. Let's finish the rounds," Moon said.

     You sighed heavily but complied, dragging your feet.

     When you made it back to the daycare, you decided to try your luck with Sun instead.

     "Sunflower!" you called cheerfully as you entered with Moon.

     Sun jumped, snapping the pen he was drawing with. "Oh dear." He scowled at the mess of ink on his hand and the paper.

     "Sorry, didn't mean to spook you," you said, patting Sun's shoulder. "Here, I'll help you clean." You went to retrieve the wipes from the supply closet.

     "It's alright dear. I've been a little extra reactive lately." Sun sighed and studied his ruined drawing.

     "Looks like a flock of birds," Moon said, tilting his head as he studied the paper.

     "It was supposed to be a lighthouse by the ocean," Sun whined.

     "Maybe the birds can be seagulls?" you offered, sitting down next to Sun. You took his hand, then frowned as you realized the metal was a lot warmer than usual. "Sun, do you need to get to a recharge station?"

     "No, I took a rest earlier when you first left with Moon," Sun said.

     You put a hand to Sun's faceplate. Sun smiled and leaned into your hand, but you were too concerned to really notice.

     "You're pretty warm," you said.

     "Of course I am! I'm a sun, after all." Sun giggled.

     "Hmm." You took Sun's hand again and started wiping off the ink.

     Moon studied Sun suspiciously. "How long did your rest cycle last?"

     "…Fifteen minutes," Sun answered. He sighed. "I haven't been able to finish a cycle in a while. I think there was a minor bug in one of the latest updates. It'll get patched out in no time, I'm sure!"

     "Monty's been having some trouble with that as well. Maybe it is an update bug. Yall said you all get updates together through the system right?" you asked.

     "Yes, but I've been getting updates same as everyone else and I've been feeling fine," Moon said. "No issues whatsoever."

     "Hmm. Maybe it was something that happened during the separation?" you wondered.

     "Maybe. I'm sure it'll get patched soon," Sun assured.

     You finished cleaning the ink off of Sun's hand. "There you are. Good as new!"

     Sun wiggled his fingers, then booped your nose. "Thank you, sunshine."

     You smiled. You looked at Sun, then at the ink stained wipe in your hands. You thought about what these two had come to mean to you. You were honestly happier than you'd been in ages. You were also terrified of loosing them, but you put that thought out of mind for now.

     "What are you thinking about, dear?" Sun asked, tilting his head to the left.

     Moon also tilted his head, tilting to the right instead of the left. The pair of them looked adorable, and you smiled.

     "Just uh… ya know. How nice things are for me right now. How horrible things were a while ago. Loss, and… gain," you said.

     "Mm yes. That makes a lot of sense. Not mysterious at all," Moon said.

     You rolled your eyes. "It's complicated." Also, elaborating would require you to admit some things to them that you were not at all ready to admit yet. You weren't sure if you would ever be. "Just, like… maybe I haven't moved on from loss yet, but maybe I'm… moving forward. Taking steps in the right direction. I dunno, I'm feeling and doing better, and yall are to blame."

     "Thank you?" Sun laughed. "I'm glad we can be of help."

     "Let us know if there's anything else we can do. Anything you want from us," Moon said.

     "…I sure would love an energy drink," you said.

     "No," both Sun and Moon said simultaneously.

     You groaned and set your head down on the table. "Ain't no rest for the wicked."

[robot-girl-bites]

1. Are you named after anyone?

A: Technically speaking I'm named after (first) myself since my first name is a slight variation of the arabic name I used in class, and (middle) the moon because she's beautiful and I've been in love with her since the first time I saw her and recognized what I was looking at, at which point I became enraptured and ended up getting separated from my family when I stopped and stared at her for like 20 minutes (I know too many trans women named variations on Luna so I went with the less common Selene)

2. When was that last time you cried?

A: Earlier today my gf and I were talking about an amphibia/the locked tomb crossover and I started crying over it

3. Do you have kids?

A: My bloodline ends with me 🥰🥰🥰

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

A: Yea lol. I love sarcasm and also lying for fun

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

A: I ran cross country in high school cuz my sperm donor insisted I do a sport. I played basketball on my college's varsity womens team because I didn't want to work on my thesis (I was one of like 4 people who showed up to practice regularly). Now I'm in roller derby! I actually like it a lot and just bought myself my own equipment a day or two after my second practice!

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

A: My people recognition skills are shit so whatever the first thing I notice is almost always lost to the void at the back of my brain. The easiest thing to notice about people is their distinctive mannerisms though like styles of speech or how they stand, which if I like someone I often start to adopt for myself (that's my problematic autistic representation trait)

7. What is your eye colour?

A: Blueish grey

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

A: Scary movies almost always are too much for me and I'm a sucker for a happy ending. I love trauma for my characters that I write/play but I always think they deserve to be happy in the end after I'm done squishing them like stress balls

9. Any special talents?

A: I have an approximate knowledge of many things and can answers extremely random and specific questions on a wide variety of subjects. Also I can knit!

10. Where were you born?

A: ok phishing attempt

11. What are your hobbies?

A: Gaming (final fantasy, 4x, board games, ttrpgs), cooking, baking, reading (I promise I'm trying to read more >.>), doodling

12. Do you have any pets?

A: 2 grey tabby cats! They're a bonded brother and sister and the boy is blind so we couldn't just adopt one of them 🥺 They are both wanted by INTERPOL for crimes

13. How tall are you?

A: Too tall, though I've shrunk 2" since HRT. With your support and donations, we can make me even shorter (4'7" please, I want to be smal)

14. Favourite subject in school?

A: Maths, science, and theater. I was really good at math (ended up taking calc/differential equations at a college level senior year of high school. It still shocks me that some people don't learn trig or basic calculus until college??). Science is always just so fascinating, I love the universe. Theater really helped me get out of my shell and be able to connect with people and also let me be even more Problematic and Loudly Queer than I already was

15. Dream job?

A: I'm going to be an astronaut someday and become the first woman on Mars 🥰🥰🥰

Please dont feel obligated to continue but @transgressivepistoleer, @kalekemo, @the-moth-of-all-time

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @oh-goodness-loki - TYSM dear!!!

1. Are you named after anyone? No... my Mom liked the name. (I hate it btw, and have taken on another in day-to-day life.)

2. When was the last time you cried? The other day, watching "For all mankind" (which is better than I had thought it would be?!)

3. Do you have kids? A daughter.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? MEEEEEE???? ^^

5. What sports do you play/have played? I used to ride. Stopped when I got pregnant.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they hold eye-contact, maybe?

7. What's your eye color? Dark brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends. I don't like torture movies, but I do not like overly saccharine stuff either. Aliens as a prime example for both?! :)

9. Any special talents? Errr.... I used to have a lyrical soprano... wanted to be an opera singer once upon a time.

10. Where were you born? Skipping, sorry.

11. What are your hobbies? Reading, video games, music, vampires. I also read a lot.

12. Do you have pets? I have a cat, Mo.

13. How tall are you? 5'4"

14. Favorite subject in school? Biology and philosophy

15. Dream job? Not sure. I used to love my job a lot, but now it's more and more meetings and... well.

Tagging:

@prigorie @isabellehemlock @lynnenne, @thefairylights @slutaciouslestat @inkyblotposts @burstingbone @blackgirlasis @alcassin @shashiatnight @anannua @dreamofme9 @danissa10 @redversaillesrose @onlymywishfulthinking ... and whoever wants to!

(Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to, obviously^^)