#I didn't get to do half as much as I wanted to and we ended up heading back to the hotel early cuz my mom didn't want to be out anymore

[fanzou]

Here's an idea? The OP guys. Sanji, Zoro, Law, (separately, of course) with a reader who has a crush on them, and they KNOW IT. (But nobody else does) So he just messes with her and gets her to blush, as his was of saying that he likes her too.🤭

Big, Fat, Crush

✗ Pairing(s): Zoro Roronoa x Fem!Reader, Sanji Vinsmoke x Fem!Reader, Law Trafalgar x Fem!Reader

✗ Summary: What do they do knowing you have a crush on them?

✗ CW: Reader is wearing a dress in Zoro's first half, Teasing... and it's RUTHLESS, Law makes reader cry but he makes up for it, it gets a little suggestive at the of Sanji's part [Let me know if I missed any]

✗ Total WC: Zoro’s Ver. (1.8K), Law’s Ver. (2.3K), Sanji’s Ver. (1.3K)

✗ A/N: Wow. If you couldn't tell I loved writing this. I didn't intend for it to get so long but here it is! Enjoy love.

ZORO RORONOA

“You want me to get you any more sake, Zoro?”

“Yeah sure, thanks.”

The bar is crowded, but not so much that it was unbearable. You and Zoro found yourselves at the little table across from each other in the very back of the room catching up and debriefing about today’s events. But the day wasn’t so very eventful, otherwise he’d probably be drunk by this point to alleviate and level himself. He liked to really enjoy the end of his day like this. It was a good day.

You were tipsy, but he on the other hand, always held his alcohol well.

“What do you wanna do tomorrow before we leave the island?” You ask him, he liked the silence between you two, even in a rowdy bar, but he didn’t hate when you talked to him either. You asked all the right questions, you weren’t obnoxiously dumb like the rest of the crew, even when you were under the influence.

“Not too sure yet. I didn’t get the time to check out what they had with your excessive clothes shopping.” He says so nonchalantly, taking a sip of the drink you got him.

You pout with your brows furrowed, cute, “I did not buy that many clothes!”

“It probably felt that way ‘cause I was carryin’ the bags all damn day.” He grinned at you, a mischievous one.

You roll your eyes at him, but then giggle into your own drink, “You’re insufferable.”

He doesn’t miss the way you blush at his harmless teasing.

He never does.

-

So…

You end up a little more drunk than anticipated.

And you can’t for the life of you remember what you did last night. Your head was pounding, like, real life pounding through your skull almost like it was angry for you being so reckless just a few hours ago.

But to your relief, your back on the ship, clothes from last night still on and somewhat in tact— a little wrinkled, and your dress was ridden up a bit more than you were comfortable with. You pull it down immediately in embarrassment. Hopefully Zoro didn’t see that. Anyway, you scope out the girl’s quarters to see that Nami and Robin weren’t anywhere to be seen, and there was none of the usual liveliness in the ship that you knew and loved, no running footsteps, bangs, booms, nothing. Assuming that the green-haired man probably took you back to the ship in your drunken state and took his own personal stroll into the small town at the island, you relaxed.

But you were probably gonna get an earful from the crew since Zoro had a tendency to get lost.

Your shame settles in, and you mentally curse at yourself for being so reckless when the team counted on you for being the more careful one of the two. But something about his energy was so comforting, and you felt so safe around him. The fact that he safely took you back to the ship was living proof of that and you got a little flustered at the thought.

How did he carry you back? Bridal? On top his shoulder? Were you faced forwards or back? Maybe not even carried at all, just arm slung around his shoulder— Whatever the case, the thought of the close proximity made you nervous to think about.

To your astonishment you hear a knock on the door to the shared room. “Come in!” You say, your head immediately punishing you for it.

To your surprise, Zoro opens the door, and comes in. He closes the door before he faces you. “You feelin’ alright? You kinda got a little ahead of yourself.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I have the worst head ache of all time.” Your head is in your hands and your hair looks ten times more disheveled than it did when you woke up. You fight the feeling of discomfort and look up at him through messy stands of hair, “What, you’re not going back to enjoy your time with out me? I wouldn’t be so offended.”

He thinks to himself for a moment,

“I was waiting for you to get up.” His arms are crossed onto his chest now. His words are so effortless when he makes your heart jump.

“Zoro, it’s gonna take me a long time to get ready, how ‘bout you just go on ahead?”

You push away the hair covering your face to get a good look at his; his expression is borderline unreadable. It looks foreign on him.

It was all-knowing, it was up to no good. And you can only imagine what that meant.

“I’ll wait.”

-

So, Zoro waited the hour and a half for you to get ready, even though it meant that most of the day was already wasted. He insisted on taking you with him to the town you guys went to only yesterday, stating that it was simply because the crew wouldn’t let him hear the end of it had you both separated. It’s funny though, because you could swear that he was moving a bit differently than he was just yesterday. Whether good or bad, it was off-putting nonetheless. You’ve never seen him act this way.

After dabbling in his fair share of store-visiting to try to tie with yours (Spoiler: he did not.), it was already sunset, and he wanted to go to the bar, but you insisted that you didn’t want a repeat of last night. In his surprising obedience, he listened. You did, however, both meet in the middle for a late night food-grab and settled on a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant. You and Zoro quickly ordered and waited for the delicious meals that you knew you both were going to absolutely demolish.

You finally relaxed your form into the seat, taking advantage of the comfort you felt after walking around all day. You hardly exchanged a few words since you got into the restaurant, presumably because of how much time you spent together all day, so it was a surprise when Zoro opened his mouth to finally speak.

“Y’know, you talk a lot when you’re drunk.”

You halt in your comfort, God, you thought he was gonna forget about this already. Zoro teased you a lot but since you got on this island, it’s easily become relentless. And whatever your shenanigans were about last night were ground for it now.

In an effort to move away from the topic, “Hmm… yeah, don’t we all? Amirite? I’ve heard you say some crazy stuff when you were black-out drunk!” You laughed, lightly slapping the table to emphasize how “funny” it was. He seemed unfazed though, if anything, a little more confident in the words he would utter. His head was resting on his on the palm of his hand now, and that same smirk from earlier returned.

“Guessing none of them were love declarations, huh?”

Time stopped, save for your heart dropping down to your asshole.

Your eyes were wide, and you were praying to God that you misinterpreted the insinuation of what he just said.

“W-What do you mean?” He seemed so fascinated by the situation unraveling between the two of you, his grin never faltering. It was shocking, Zoro never really talked this much about nonsense, if you could call it that.

He chuckles at your shock almost sadistically, “You tried kissing my face the entire night and kept telling me how handsome I was, and how much you lo—”

“STOP!” Your hand not so subtly smacks his mouth shut, and the staff gives you both a weird look.

Great, now I’m making it everyone’s business!

You slowly remove your hand and try to avert your gaze elsewhere, while still fending for yourself. “I’m j-just a loving drunk... I-I guess…” The embarrassment is getting to be too much now, and whatever what you say at this point is just going to look like a lie, a big fat lie. And you wanna crawl into the nearest hole and die there. How can you even face the crew anymore? How can you look at him in the eye? Where’s the nearest exit so you can just run far, far away from him?! It seems like you’re plotting for the rest of how your life is gonna be from this point on, until he puts an end to your thoughts.

“C’mon woman. Get real. Why don’t you just face up to it? I see the way you look at me all the time. Drunk or not.” Zoro is leaned all the way back in his chair when you look up, his arms are crossed just how they were this morning. And you just want to melt into your chair at this point. Get away from anything and every thing that exists. Especially Zoro, if it wasn’t obvious. “God, you're naive, naive as hell.”

Embarrassment subsided for a moment, you sit there with your brows furrowed, now trying to piece together his new and probably much more embarrassing revelation. “…What? Why do you say that?”

He scoffs at you, “Y’Really gonna make me say it?”

What?

Zoro was never the articulate type and you respected that, but if there was an instance where you really hated his lack of speech; It was now.

For a split second, he looks a little conflicted on what he was going to say next. Like he was fighting the next words to come out of his mouth, his arms twitch a bit and he lets out a little sigh, shaking his head in what looks like defeat. But before you can say anymore; he gets out of his comfortable position, leans toward you and over the small table, grabs your shirt and…

Kisses you.

It was short, but Zoro thought he was going to die inside trying to build up the courage to say I love you instead. And this, this was so much better.

He would’ve mistook you for a tomato across from him when you sit back from his attack on your lips. He’s a little flustered himself, he does well to mask it, but it was worth your reaction. And since it was late at night the restaurant was almost dead at that point, with you both once again, sitting in the very back. So he wasn’t too crazy about who was watching.

“I’m… I… Um…” you’re trying so hard to get your words together. What the hell just happened. “I…”

Before you can say anything, you eat your words again. The server comes with your long anticipated dinner. He chooses to disregard the absolute mess you look, and some of your lipstick on Zoro’s mouth— and puts your food down onto the table.

“Enjoy you two lovebirds! My, what a beautiful couple you both make!”

LAW TRAFALGAR

The Polar Tang was full of energy today. In the dining hall, the crew sat down and talked the night away.

Penguin and Shachi were laughing it up and finding comfort in their drinks, you and Ikkaku talked about personal affairs over the amazing meal you shared, then Bepo joined in and you three all got a little too into some dumb gossip amongst another pair in the crew.

Safe to say everyone was having the night of their life. Something the Heart Pirates couldn’t do a lot.

All except your captain.

Always buried in his books and studies, Law claims that he wish he could have time to spend with you all, blasé blasé bla, but there was always an excuse that was thrown in your faces. Always. You respected his time and effort, it was something that not a lot of people could do.

So that’s why after your conversation with your friends was drawn to an end and they either resorted to drinking with the rest of the crew or just enjoying more talk, you decided to slip away for a moment. You didn’t know what possessed you to do this, (you did, you just wanted an excuse) but you fix up another plate and swiftly make your way towards your captains room. The food was delicious so, why not? What’s the harm?

The closer you got to his door is the more an anxiety rose in your chest, and your hands were getting a little shaky. There was nothing to be nervous about!

Just maybe seeing his handsome face focused so strongly on a certain text, the way his rough, calloused hand grips the pen so gently, or your favorite part— his parted and unbuttoned shirt, where you can see a window of his chest, not a lot but just enough to leave some imagination to how the rest of his tattooed body might look... And you stop yourself for a second, physically and mentally.

I’m being such a pervert right now.

You resume your slow and anything but steady walk to his quarters and you finally meet face to face with the door.

You pull your first up to knock after taking a very deep breath, but before your skin could touch the surface his voice is already urging you to step inside. And so you obey.

Once inside you immediately start to scan the sight before you, and it wasn’t much different from the one you had in your imagination. Of course this meant that you were a bit flustered coming to him, but you manage, “‘Just wanted to drop off some food for you, in case you couldn’t join us tonight.” You say with a little softness in your tone.

“Thank you. You can put it down on my desk.”

And you obey, again. Walking up to his desk full of papers and books/ You realize that it was a little messy and not clean enough to set the plate just anywhere, and his hands scramble through the paper to find a place for you to set the plate down until you finally do. Then, another thought emerges from your fantasy world.

“Do you need help organizing your desk, cap? I have some time and I don’t really feel like going to sleep anyways.”

He smiles softly at you and calls your name in a way that you wish you could hear over and over and over again, and he thanks you once more, “You’ve done enough for me tonight. I appreciate it.” You hide your disappointment in his words, but nod and make your way to the door anyway.

You exchanged your good night’s and make your way to your room. And when you fall back on your bed, you take your pillow and scream into it like a crazed schoolgirl in love.

-

The next morning comes, and you can guarantee that the crew has already started on breakfast. You rub your eyes and start to get cleaned up and fetch a new pair of clothes for the day.

Once you’re all freshen up, you make your way to the dining hall, surprised to hear no ruffling and noise. Maybe everyone was suffering the consequences of last nights drinking challenges, you thought. But even so, it wouldn’t be this quiet.

Your met with Law’s figure in the dining hall and he’s making tea for himself. He notices you, “You’re up really early.”

“Did you even get a wink of sleep?” You say in concern.

He’s silent for a few seconds, and he makes his way to the table to enjoy his freshly brewed drink. “I couldn’t.” Or more like he wouldn't.

You sigh, yup, that was your captain. You thought for a second, thinking about what you could do in order for him to feel better about his own consequences from a lack of sleep. But you know he would just decline most of your suggestions. Instead, you plop yourself in the seat across from him. You both sit in a comfortable silence while you waited for your coffee to be made, and you take a second to scan his tired features.

He does well to hide it in his mannerism, but his face betrays him. You can tell he's deathly tired, and if he let's his eyes close for more than a second you're sure he'd plop right onto the table.

“Take a picture, maybe it’ll last longer.”

You blink, and you blink again. “O-Oh, sorry…” he’s not offended, if anything his face is smug. You’re quick to defend yourself with a little scoff, “Can’t a woman be worried for her captain? You don’t look the best anyway.” You quickly cover your mouth, seriously, how dumb did you have to be?

But he only laughs at your remark, he shakes his head and his smug expression does not leave his face. “It’s a little hard to not point out when you do it all the time.”

“I do not!”

“Do too.”

“I don’t!”

“Don’t what?” Shachi comes into the room completely oblivious to what you guys were bickering childishly about. He’s rubbing his eyes, “Why are you both up so early? Especially you,” he points at you, “You drank a lot.”

You roll your eyes, you hardly drank. And now you were a little embarrassed at his public revelation, (though it was a secret to nobody but Law,) and your face grows a little red.

The rest of the crew gets up one by one and soon enough breakfast is served. You barely pick up your head anymore out of shame of your earlier dispute, if you could even call it that, with your captain. Bepo is talking about something he encountered a while back while on an adventure with Law, usually you’d be invested, but you were far too in your zone.

And so you get up and make your way to your room, the gloominess practically radiating off of you. Your absence is barely noticed due to the focus everyone had on Bepo’s story.

Law notices, though.

He excuses himself and Bepo gets a little upset, but he understands and respects his captain, so he resumes his dramatic story that keeps everyone on the edge of their seat. You, on the other hand, were now face flat on your pillow mumbling self-deprecating comments to yourself after the terrible situation you were just in.

That was so embarrassing. My captain hates me. It’s so obvious. Why do I do this to myself. Why did I think that was okay. I’m going to escape. (You were under water) This is dumb. I’m du—

*Knock Knock*

You lift your head up even though you didn’t want to, “No.” is all you could manage.

“It’s your captain.”

As much as you wanted to tell him to piss off and let yourself drown in the shame you felt, you couldn’t. Because at the end of the day, it was as your captain proclaimed, though you wanted it to be much more, there was nothing you could do. Nothing, especially after today's consequences.

After a bit of hesitance and a lot of hurt in your voice, you tell him, “You can come inside.”

He cracks the door open a smidge to further observe your well-kept room and there you were, lying on your stomach with your arms crossed, face laying against them and your eyes away from his. It wasn’t the most appropriate sight for your captain to walk in on, but you two were close enough for him to get comfortable enough to let the door open and let himself all the way into your room.

He walks towards you and pulls a chair over, turns it around and manspreads against it to take his seat-- and you really wanted to take in the sight completely, but even that wasn’t enough to get your mood back up and running.

“You left.”

“Why do you care?” You turn your head the opposite way facing the wall beside you. Law doesn’t say anything for quite some time and you can almost bet on your tears slipping soon. He was making this so much more worse than it had to be.

He calls your name, and you just wanna melt into the soft fabric beneath you. “Look at me.”

You disobey.

After your reluctance to his order, he draws out a sigh. You always were the most stubborn of the crew. So with this, he thinks long and hard on his next words or actions, and finally lands on one possible outcome.

“You leave me no choice.”

“Wha— Law!” He turns you around by your waist and forces you up with just one hand. Then, before you know it, your body is slung across his broad shoulder while he finds his bicep tight around your thighs. You were facing backwards while he carried you. “Now you’re calling me by name, no captain anymore?" he laughs, "I think I’ve gone too soft on you.”

“What are you doing!?” You say, trying to get out of his grasp, but even with all of your strength, he was no match for you. “Someone will see!”

“No they won’t. I’m taking you to my room.” He opens the door in one swift motion and kicks it in another.

“And you’re not explaining why!” You hit his back in defiance. You were halfway through the corridor to meet his room already, so you just give up.

He takes no time in entering his room, finally putting you down and ordering you to sit on a spare seat in the grand environment. You were insanely nervous at this point, taken aback by his sudden action and the intimacy of it all. He’s peering down at you with a seriousness in his gaze that makes you put your head down in the worst shame you’ve felt since you’ve woken up.

You always thought that maybe, you might have had a chance with him one day. All that was thrown out the window now.

And it's time to swallow your pride. You take a deep breath, and build a whole lot of courage, and:

“I’m sorry, for saying that about you in the dining hall. And getting smart with you. And calling you by your first na—”

“You’re really stubborn, did you know that?”

And there it is, you feel the tears build up once again, and it hurts. Because the firmness in his voice is always the same. So demanding and... so difficult for you.

“And I don’t know why I’m attracted to you. I don’t understand why I tolerate the things you do.”

You start crying now, because you don’t know what else to do. You don’t know the sincerity of his words, and you hold yourself in the chair that you sat on, trying your best to look away from him.

He walks towards you and gets on his knees in front of you, It was a little bit of a blow to his own pride, and it wasn’t something he would do for anyone else at all. But you were different. You’re still crying and you weakly try pushing him away and looking to the side and the new guilt starts to form itself inside of him, but he insists that he stays where he is. He’s whispers an I’m sorry before his hands find solace on your jaw while both of his thumbs wipe your tears away. You look down at him with the most beautiful eyes he’s seen, your gaze softens at him and your crying calms down a little bit seeing that he wasn't so serious anymore, but instead his expression was a little desperate.

-- He’s still got a lot to make up for, and he knows now was not the time to press you on anything else— there was nothing to press anyways. You were perfect, in every aspect of the word. He just enjoyed the idea of teasing you, not anyone else, but he took it too far.

When he was sure that you were more comfortable in his arms, he pulled you down and pushed the chair away. He takes you in his embrace and whispers his apologies into your ear so genuinely.

“This wasn’t the way I thought this would go.” He lets the thousandth sigh out of his mouth today. You look into his eyes with a questioning expression, “I mean that, I fucked it up.”

It was your turn to feel guilty again, but you were tired of words.

You just take his face in your hands just as he did not so long ago, and you both look at each other for a moment. His eyes look to your lips for a second, and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he was just as eager as you, maybe he was. His lips inch towards yours and they take no time in meeting.

It’s slow, soft, sensual. And it takes a while for your mouths to part. When they do, all you can do is stare at each other.

You finally breathe, “Okay,” you face turns to the side to escape his beautiful one.

“Maybe all of that was pretty worth it.”

SANJI VINSMOKE

You’ve been avoiding Sanji all week.

And he can’t decide if he should talk to you about it or not, he’s leaning more towards the latter, just because he’s too into the nervousness that suddenly appears on your face when you’re in close proximity. Then; you’re scrambling to the nearest door and half-assing an excuse about where you need to be or what you need to do.

He personally loves when it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner and he gets to not only cook your favorite meals and you can’t escape him, otherwise the crew would immediately worry for your absence. He also enjoys how embarrassed you get when you can feel him staring at you. Alas, he can’t stand the inability to talk to you and be in your unwanted presence anymore, he needed to make his move on you quick.

You see, earlier this week a battle occurred between you, Sanji, and an enemy that threatened the Thousand Sunny.

You and Sanji had both agreed to guard the ship while the rest of the crew had prepared their own duties on the foreign land, he insisted that there would be no good food supply and there was already enough stocked up from the last. It was a no-good devil fruit user, who wielded the ability to make its opponent confess a super big secret, to then throw them off completely, and defeat them. It was like a weak spot-- psychological warfare more so. And… he got you.

Can you guess what your secret was?

For certain, the devil fruit did its magic. And Sanji was surely taken aback, but adamant on defending the ship and more importantly, you, he did his part and tried with all his might to fight the bad guy off and made a mental note to immediately come find you afterwards.

You were close to passing out from shock after the bewildering confession, but when you came to, the blonde sat right beside you in a shit-eating grin, “So… you’re crushin’ on me, princess?” And you wanted to pass out again, but instead you just run for the ship and locking yourself in your room, ignoring his pleas to come back and talk about it.

Ever since that day, the atmosphere between you two had been a bit awkward. Conversations weren't as light and smooth, you tried finishing your food as fast as possible and managing a quick thank you before making a bee line to the girls room, and most importantly— everyone took notice of how distant you got from Sanji.

Usopp fell victim to the awkward encounters more often than the rest, and it was safe to say they were getting on his last nerve now. "Whatever you did, you should apologize, man!" He pats his back as a sign of encouragement. And for a second it almost felt like you and him were a married couple having problems, it brought a smile to his face.

Not to worry, he had a plan.

-

You joined Robin in a comfortable silence below the deck, praying to the heavens you wouldn’t hear from the blonde cook while the sun set so beautifully. Your original ploy was to just act like it never happened, but anytime you saw him it was like re-imagining the entire scenario over and over again.

Your head is hanging off the chair while you doze off and Robin is reading her book— appreciating your silence, the weather was just a little windy and the sky had a nice orange and red gradient to it. The waves were crashing against the boat but it wasn’t overbearing, it was just fine.

You asked Robin to read her book out loud, even though you weren’t following the storyline, you found comfort in her melodic voice and how softly she read it and sure enough she would be lulling you to sleep soon.

But before you could finally reach sleep like you intended, there’s a presence you can sense, and Robin puts her beautiful voice to a halt. You don’t want to open your eyes but it almost seems like you have to.

And you immediately regretted it.

Above you was Sanji. “Hi.”

“Sanji!” He moves a little back from you, and you straighten your posture, wide awake. “I was just leaving actually, I have to clean the girls room! I lost a bet a while back. So… I’m gonna go do that.”

“I don’t think that bet ever happened but, I’m not entirely opposed to you doing that for us.” Robin says smugly. You loved her but the betrayal on your face spoke volumes in that moment.

You’re already defeated and you’re trying to muster up another shitty excuse, “We can’t delay this anymore than we have.” He takes your hand and you can only burn eyes at the skinship. You’re lightheaded again, just like that day you confessed.

And he drags you into the kitchen with him before you can defy him a hundred times over, he locks the door to slow down your escape, and if anyone came in on the two of you.

He finally turns around to look at you with the most frustrated expression littered all over his face.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asks you in desperation, and you kinda wanted to slap him out of your own mixed emotions, because it was pretty obvious as to why. He catches on shortly after, “Okay, scratch that. Why is it necessarily a bad thing that you have feelings for me?”

“Please Sanji, let’s just forget about i—”

“How do I forget something like that? Why are we holding this off? Are we just never gonna talk about it?” You sense some repressed anger boiling up inside of him, and to tell the truth you’ve never seen him speak to any woman like this, so raw and nothing to hold back. “Listen, the cat’s out the bag, right? What’s the point in hiding it if we both feel this way about each other?”

…

…

…

“You… felt the same way… and you’re just now telling me this?” You walk towards him, he looks away in shame.

“It’s not about how you feel towards me, I’m just not worthy of you. I don’t deserve you.” You push him out of sheer frustration, and he just lets you.

Sanji assumes you’ll just use him as your personal punching bag at this point with the amount of self-deprecating thoughts he’s already throwing at himself in his head, but all of them were replaced once you took him by the shoulders and pulled him into a powerful kiss. He was in shock, but he quickly melted into it, grabbing you by both sides of your face, and you pull away.

“All you did was tease me and taunt me and put me over the edge these past few days, for what? Just to reveal that you wanted me too?” You scoff, but your lips betray you. You lean back into the kiss and it’s so much more passionate than before. His hands find comfort in your hips.

After the kiss got a little too passionate, and Sanji already making his move on your neck, you all but gave into him. So willingly.

“You locked the door, right?” You ask.

He grins into the quick kiss, excited by your insinuation, “Yeah.”

meanwhile, on the deck

Chopper quickly becomes your replacement for Robin, although not as quiet, she does equally enjoy her time with you both.

Choppers stomach gives him away, “Robin, I’m hungry. Do you know if Sanji’s making dinner soon?”

Robin smirks, and pats Chopper on the head.

“He’s busy with something right now, I think it would be best if we didn’t bother him, either.”

[mssstojifushiguro]

What a Whore (Gojo x reader x Getou)

Senior College student Y/n is living with her male best friends, and she can't seem to get enough of their presence. She doesn't know what the hell is going on with her body but her consequences from her actions get her fucked by both of her friends.

Masturbation, threesome, clit rubbing, oral sex, sex, orgasms, drinking, bondage-ish, degrading, fingering.

19:00pm

I was in the kitchen making some cocktails that I had been obsessed with this past week for me and Gojo. I made one in the morning, two in the afternoon and another one right now. I swear my liver would burst any minute if I didn't stop. Because the amount of liquor I added in them was so bad, but it was the end of exams week so it was some sort of reward for me.

We was about to watch a horror movie on the glitchy TV and there was no way we could watch that sober, well I was already drunk so I was just drinking on top of my drunkness. It was mid July and the heat in this dorm was about to make me pass the fuck out, my period had just ended not too long ago so that had to be some sort of factor in this.

Gojo came into the kitchen wearing nothing but grey sweat shorts and the Calvin Klein waistband peaking over the shorts, a layer of sweat glistening over his skin. I was still wearing shorts and a bikini top from when I hung out with Shoko this afternoon before she went into placement, it's 7pm Friday and 95 degrees there was no way I was gonna walk around in a shirt.

I couldn't help but stare at his body, especially below the waistband. It wasn't like me to look at him like this but damn...He looked so fine and built and toned and so...big. I squeezed my legs together because I wasn't about to go down that horny path.

"You almost done with the cocktails?"

"Yeah I'm done now actually, take that one." I pointed to the drink that had less liquor in it because I knew Gojo didn't like to drink so I promised I wouldn't add too much.

He took the one opposite to the one I told him to take and sniffed mine and his face scrunched into a ball. "What the fuck Y/n, why's your one so strong? You're gonna be sick tomorrow."

"It's not that bad, stop being dramatic."

"How about I take this one and you take mine, I don't want you throwing up everywhere." Before I could protest Gojo was already out of the room with both of the drinks in his hands. He didn't even like drinking but he still took it. "Weirdo."

I went into the living room where Gojo was and sat beside him. His drink was already half empty beside the loads of sweet snacks we bought to binge on in the plastic bag on the floor. I didn't even need to say anything because I knew it was good.

"You ready to start the movie?" Gojo had the remote in his hand, thumb on the play button waiting for my approval.

The front door opened all of a sudden showing Getou also topless and in black sweat shorts, it had to be some sort of sweat short season for guys or something. But fuck I almost drooled at the state of Getou. His hair was down and slightly messy, the sweat making some strands stick to his forehead.

Even if he was wearing black sweat shorts I could still see the imprint of his dick through the fabric. I clenched my legs again, what was going on with me today? He had just come back from his run we tried to convince him to stay home because of the heat but no he had to keep his schedule as he said.

"How was your run?" I asked finally being able to get a word out of my mouth after getting sidetracked by his physique.

"I don't even wanna talk about it, it's too fucking hot out there." He took his trainers off and ran a hand through his long, black hair.

"Didn't me and Y/n say that you should stay home? Who's fault is this?" Gojo crossed his arms getting all sassy.

"Yeah I should've listened, but look at my body before you question why I do this everyday." Oh I'm fucking looking at your body, that's for sure.

"I see a potbelly forming." Gojo scoffed and turned his attention to his phone, acting like there wasn't an eight pack right in front of his lying ass.

"Fuck off dude, it's okay if you're jealous." That sentence struck a chord in Gojo's feelings his attention was fully back on Getou. He stood up and went towards his best friend standing beside him.

I already knew what they was gonna make me do.

"Y/n who's got better abs, me or Jogo." Getou asked pissing off Gojo even more at the intentional mispronunciation.

"You want me to beat you up so bad."

"Y/n answer the question and whoever loses has to send you $100." I grinned at the last few words.

I began to judge staring hard at both of the shirtless big dick men in front of me. They thought I was judging but really I was just staring at them, my mind went to various scenes in my head I crossed one leg over the other. These guys were so distracted to the point they had no idea I was clearly getting off of them, but then I came to my senses and shrugged. "I don't know, I really don't. Now how about you both send me $100 to make it fair."

Getou smiled because he just knew I was gonna pull that but Gojo was about to lose his shit, his face said it all. "Oh whatever." He scoffed and came back to sit down and Getou went upstairs to have a shower.

"Y/n just tell me the truth was it me who really had the better body?" I knew that Gojo wouldn't let this go until I said it was him so I just said, "Yeah, I just wanted the money from both of you guys." But it was actually Getou who had the better physique, but none of them was ever gonna know.

"I fucking knew it, you was looking at me more. I'll send you double the amount." Gojo pulled out his phone instantly opening the banking app. It brought joy to my life when I heard the word money.

"Let's wait for Getou to come back and we'll start the movie."

OOO

22:58pm

It was about halfway through the second movie, the first one wasn't that scary. But the reason was because I couldn't even concentrate being sandwiched between two men. Their arms were behind my head resting on the back of the couch. Their two scents mixed and my head spun, I had been shuffling around a lot it was a surprise they didn't notice.

I just felt so horny I had no idea why I felt like this, it had to be the drinks I had downed today.

But my clit was pulsing and my nipples hardened, I could no longer feel the breeze of the fan hit against my skin. It felt like a sauna in here. I had a few groans here and there trying to get rid of this feeling.

I just needed to fuck. I really needed to, I wanted both of their dicks. Oh the way my body begged for something big was unbelievable.

What the fuck am I thinking?

But there was only one way to solve this.

I moved one hand over Getou's lap and the other to Gojo's lap. They both tensed at the same time, but I slowly moved my hands to the middle of their lap.

Getou adjusted the way he was sitting pushing himself up and manspreading even more, he didn't look my way but he knew what was about to go down. Gojo cleared his throat taking a peek at me but quickly put his focus back on the TV.

I pressed my fingertips through their shorts, rubbing them through the fabric. I leaned my head on Getou's shoulder putting more pressure on his dick, I could hear his breathing get more intense. It was dark so none of them knew that it was the both of them getting off to my hands.

"Fuck Y/n what are you doing?" Getou whispered only loud enough for me to hear all breathy trying to hold back from groaning. I slid my hands down their boxers finally getting a hold of their hard cocks.

My thumb went straight to their tips rubbing over it at the same fast pace. Gojo groaned enough to catch his friends attention causing him to chuckle in my ear once again. "Both of us huh? What a whore!"

He gasped as I pulled him out of the shorts starting to jerk his whole length off, his struggled moans became more vocal exposing my intentions. I pulled Gojo out wondering if I could get them to cum at the same time.

"Has she got you too Getou?"

"Yeah." Getou was grinning with his eyes staring into the ceiling.

"What a whore." Gojo tutted. "I said the same thing." They both snickered at their 'great minds think alike' moment.

Gojo snuck his hands into my panties finding my clit and not hesitating to rub it in rhythm of my strokes.

"You're all wet Y/n." I whimpered grinding my hips into his finger pads.

The screen of the TV froze and it was bright and exposing. I could see everything, from me jerking Getou and Gojo off to me getting fingered.

"Fuck Y/n wait, I don't wanna cum yet." Gojo's other hand grabbed my wrist but it didn't stop me from rubbing his tip again with my thumb. "No I want you to cum."

"Ah- Shit!" Gojo's hips bucked up as his orgasm won him over and his juice spilt out onto my hand. He became a breathing chaos, twitching violently. His grip loosened and I kept going, I wasn't gonna stop just yet it was too early for that.

Gojo took his hand away from me and pulled the waist of my shorts and Getou got the other side doing the same. My shorts were pulled until it reached my knees and I managed to kick them off. I spread my legs hanging them over their knees wanting more access from the both of them.

Gojo put his hand back on me starting to build up my orgasm once again. It felt so fucking good my hips were following his circles, almost like I had a water-based waistline. "Fuck I love it when her hips move like that." Gojo turned his head to Getou. "She wants to cum so bad- mmh~"

"I wanna cum so bad...please." I rolled my eyes pleading to Gojo. "Tell us how much you want to cum and you gotta be loud about it."

"Fuck off."

"Or I'll stop touching you now." It was silent and all that was heard was the three of us panting, the slick movement of my hands on both dicks and the wet noises of my clit.

"I wanna cum so much, please make me cum. I'm so close, please!" Gojo went faster upon hearing my words, my breathing became ecstatic and it was only a few more moments until my climax. Then Gojo stopped.

"That wasn't good enough." I stared at him on the verge of tears, I had just been waiting for this and it was ruined. "You're an idiot."

"I know." The fucker had the guts to wink.

"Keep going-" Getou threw his head back biting his lip. He thrusted his hips up everytime I reached the top desperate to finish. But I slowed down feeling like he didn't deserve it because of what they did to me. His hand wrapped around mine guiding me to go faster.

A whimper left his throat, his cum landed on my thigh in result of his orgasm.

The boys looked at each other and nodded like they had a plan in their head. I watched them stand up and face me, but then I got caught off guard when Gojo grabbed me by my hair fisting it forcing me to look at him from below. "Open your mouth...yeah good." He levelled his dick to my mouth and pushed himself in all the way until he was balls deep. My hands flew to his sides, nails digging into his skin as I gagged violently over and over.

He walked backwards dragging me off the couch and onto my knees crawling with him until his legs hit the coffee table and he sat down on top of the snack packets. Gojo yanked my head back up giving me the privilege to breathe. I was bent over on all fours, my bare ass in the air.

He forced my head back down, his tip hitting the back of my throat and there was still some dick left outside my lips. I teared up furiously breathing through my nose trying not to gag again. He began to start the rhythm bringing me to the top, then the base. "Suck harder!" Gojo demanded pushing me down the hardest he's ever had. He let go of my hair when I sprung my head back up from the gag I felt was gonna cause me to throw up.

"I'm gonna throw up." I coughed about to stand up but another hand grabbed my hair and twisted my neck 90° filling my mouth with another cock. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at Getou who had a smirk on his lips. "Sorry baby, I had to." I blinked away tears at the amount of gagging I just went through in less than 3 minutes.

He bobbed my head up and down in full control of me. My throat getting used and abused. Gojo now behind me pulled the strings of my bikini top off leaving me completely naked.

Getou's hands reached under my arms and dragged me off of Getou forcing me to stand up and bend over when his palm pushed my back down. He held his penis at my pussy, who'd been aching for attention for the longest time, thrusting himself in one quick movement. "Sorry Getou, stole your girl."

"Gojo!" My knees buckled but he caught me by the waist starting to fuck me before I could even catch my first few seconds of stability.

"It's alright, I'll just occupy her mouth...open wide pretty." Expecting to get my hair pulled again he just held himself in front of my eyes. I opened my mouth and not a second was wasted ploughing my throat. My knees gave out but I was kept in the same position, feet practically off the ground.

Fingers invaded my hair getting moved into a ponytail. I choked on my moans and sobbed from the pleasure overload. One hand of mine flew to my clit and the other to hold Getou's forearm. I rubbed myself in fast circles, twitching here and there clenching around the big girth hitting most of my spots. It was a disappointment he wasn't big enough to hit all of them, neither was Getou from the last times. But they both felt so good just not so good. Maybe there's someone out there that could fuck me so good I would never go back.

My moans were all over the place and I forced myself to breathe through my nose but sometimes that would come to a stop when Getou would keep his dick all the way in for more than five seconds. "Fuck Y/n, you're so-" Gojo thrusts became more wet, it was clear he was gonna cum in me. I was so out of it, they used me like a toy...and I enjoyed it. The clapping of my skin contact made with Gojo sounded like gunshots.

Gojo's grip on my waist tightened and my legs shook. "We can get the plan B tomorrow." He moaned slowing down as his cum filled up my insides and just as he finished Getou started. "Did he make you cum?" Getou asked pulling himself out giving my right to breathe back after swallowing.

"No." Getou's eyebrows furrowed at my answer.

"Gojo move."

"Why?"

"You can't seem to do your job right, pull out." Gojo pulled out and I straightened my back feeling so stiff. "Come sit here girl." Getou was sat in the middle of the couch, legs spread and dick pointing to the ceiling. I got on him straddling his sides and my hole just above his penis I put my hands on his shoulders and locked eyes with him. "Ride me until you cum."

I sat down on his dick sinking in on it, my face scrunched at the length when his tip pushed against my cervix. I buried my face in his neck grinding my hips on him. "Don't worry if I cum before you just keep going."

"You know I haven't done this before right?" My legs were already shaking just by sitting on it. Getou placed his hands on my hips and moved it in a motion. "Keep rocking your hips back and forth...yeah like that." I groaned out of pain, I just knew that I would be able to do the splits if we went on for an hour.

"Take your time." Getou's voice was low and soft, it was a comforting tone and it turned me on even more. His hands were shaking and he bit his lips not wanting to be as vocal as he could be about his pleasure.

I lifted my ass up and slammed myself back down, earning me a huge gasp from Getou. If it wasn't for me losing my breath I would've screamed. I bit his neck going back to grinding at a higher speed, I just wanted to get off from this.

Every time I tried to exhale it would go into a moan, this was the most I had ever felt from a dick.

His thumbs circled my hard nipples and squeezed them, my nipples were just as sensitive as my clit at the moment.

It began to feel like too much pleasure for me. "No stop fuck- Getou." And that's when he started rubbing my clit. "Shit!" I was overstimulated with pleasure and was about to go through an orgasm. "Getou I'm gonna-" "I know baby." I cringed at the pet name but my body reacted to it when my orgasm drove through me leaving me shaking. Getou came inside me emptying the results of his climax.

Our breaths fell in sync calling down from our high and I was still edgy. I loosened my grip on his shoulders and let my head rest on his neck once again. A pair of hands snuck under my arms, pulling me out in the process of lifting me and forced me to stand up. "Toru wait- my legs!"

My legs gave out and I was on the floor within seconds. Gojo joined me on the ground with a grin on his face getting all up close to my lips. "My turn right?" I bit the inside of my cheek wanting to hide my shame he could see the words 'yes' in my eyes waiting for my approval.

I laid on my back and spread my legs with strong eye contact with the black haired male watching me whore myself off. He grabbed under my knees and pushed them back until they touched the floor. I was so exposed, the air brushing over my vagina and my ass.

The sound of a camera shutter coming from Getou's phone stole my attention. "Just sending it to Shoko, showing her what she's missing out on whilst she's on placement."

"Nah man take a video and set your phone up somewhere." Gojo winked with a cheesy smile.

Getou stood up and set the phone on the leg of the table. I attempted to move my body getting sore already. "Don't be moving around too much- hey Getou come hold her for me."

Getou got on his knees over my head and his dick was hanging above my face inches away from his tip. "Straighten your legs." He reached over getting his hands behind my knees and pushed them down to the floor.

The only thing I could do was look up at Getou's dick because lifting my head up to see what Gojo was doing would end up with balls and dick on my forehead.

I stuck my tongue out licking his tip, tasting myself and him causing his whole thing to move. That's when a wet tongue had struck my clit. I bucked my hips up only to be held in more restriction. His tongue swiped side to side at an insane speed, my arms were trapped under my legs.

"Gojo!"

"Mhmmmmm?" He answered in a hum.

I whimpered feeling helpless. I couldn't grab anything to take out my pressure on, balling my fists hard wasn't enough. I just had to lay there and take it. I was a moaning hot mess, twitching every second, I needed movement to express myself.

My mouth agape letting whatever noise that needed to come out cry. Tears emerging again at the frustration.

I fucking loved it.

A warm substance shot and dribbled on my face just as Gojo inserted his fingers in. I bent my neck up and slapped myself with a dick.

"Shit sorry Y/n, I just came on your face." Getou chuckled.

"Fuck!"

I inhaled sharply crying out at the sudden intense speed of Gojo's long fingers rubbing up on my walls. "I'm gonna cum I'm gonna cum I'm gonna cum I'm gonna cum!"

Waves of satisfaction hit me repeatedly, I panted heavily just waiting for my climax to catch on. And when it finally did, the strength of my legs almost broke free from its hold. I sobbed hard and loud, I didn't care if the other people in the corridor could hear me.

Gojo just kept on going at the same speed, he wasn't done eating yet. He was moaning and slurping like he was starving, but when he was done he lifted his face up. His chin was dripping and his lips were plumped up.

"Sorry I couldn't resist myself, you just tasted too fucking good."

Words couldn't even form out of me, nor in my mind. I just curled myself up in a ball once Getou let go.

I shut my eyes and smiled because I just got fucked.

"We aren't done yet Y/n. I haven't had a taste of you." Getou winked standing over me.

[unreesonable]

Screenwriting advice from Mackenzie Crook, Reece Shearsmith & Jed Mercurio

Snippets from the 2015 Bafta Guru TV Craft Sessions - full video in link above. Transcript of the clips below

Interviewer: I'm delighted to be here with the TV and BAFTA Craft nominees for writing, both in comedy and TV drama. Our three lauded writers are Reece Shearsmith for "Inside Number Nine," Mackenzie Crook for "Detectorists," and Jed Mercurio for "Line of Duty." I'd like you all to tell us a little bit about each of your programmes. reece.

Reece: Well, "Inside Number Nine" is an anthology series, which is a very unusual thing, I think, to exist these days. I mean, you couldn't move for them in the '70s, and it was kind of what I grew up loving and watching. The half-hour play, "Play for Today," was a very appealing, enjoyable thing to me because you didn't know what you were going to get - same as "Alfred Hitchcock Presents," "The Twilight Zone," and of course "Tales of the Unexpected."

And that has gone out of fashion, I think, a little bit because of the mythical idea that if you're not following a set of characters, you won't return to the programme. And that's why they're not commissioned these days very much. But our argument, when we went in and pitched the idea of doing such a thing, was that if they were good you would forgive them for whatever they were. And I think we just really wanted to do that thing of kind of like chamber pieces - we talked about them being these quite claustrophobic little plays, and I think that was what drove us to do it.

Interviewer: OK and Reece what about the inspiration behind your series ?

Reece: Again, it was kind of just stuff that is enjoyable to research yourself. Some things came literally - "Sardines," episode of "Inside Number Nine," came when Steve and I write in a room in Muswell Hill and there's a massive wardrobe in the corner, and we were just literally one day - we'd been staring at it every day for however many months that we sit in that room, and then one of us said, "What about a game of sardines?" Initially, that was a funny idea just to think, well, we could just one at a time fill it with people arriving and hiding in the wardrobe. There was a version of that script that was simply that, and that was enough. Then we read it back and thought it's not enough - it's good, it's funny, and there's some quite funny dialogue in it, and it's slightly awkward, but there was something missing.

It wasn't until we went back in and peppered in the vague dread of the revelation of the child abuse that we realised that instantly elevated it into something much more fruitful. And that's always the way with our writing, I think. We are never satisfied with the first root idea of a gentle - you know, we tried to do it, and we can never do it, always feels lacking if there isn't somebody being murdered or some kind of dreadful extra element that just heightens it and gives you an element of jeopardy and peril in a supposed half-hour comedy that you would get in a drama. And I think that's why people are sometimes shocked by what we do because they are smuggled into a half-hour comedy, whereas you would be ready for it if it was at 9:00 on BBC 1 and you were set up for a drama. But I think we do things that are not that outrageous, but I think that they are a bit blindsiding because they are in the guise of comedy and maybe more powerful because of it.

Interviewer: And Reece for you - what's your writing process?

Reece: Well, we talk a lot, Steve and I. I couldn't - I admire the fact that these two write alone. I couldn't do it, I don't think. I think I need to have the instant reaction from Steve. If we can make each other laugh in the room, if it's comedy, then it goes in generally. But there's a lot of talking about - with these particular "Number Nines," being self-contained stories, we talk a lot about what the idea might be. Sometimes we've had - we've got an ending we might want to get to, or we've thought of a character that could be in something, and it's like crafting a story then and how do we most leanly tell it and what scenes do we need to get this across in however... you now, judiciously.

I think we do that because we fear the idea of beginning and feeling a little bit wayward in where we're going. But we have done that before, and I think sometimes we've written ourselves... Much like the Coen brothers when they wrote "Blood Simple" - they deliberately enjoyed writing themselves into corners and then thinking how does the character get out of it rather than being kind of ahead of the characters, which is a joyous thing and also quite surprising to yourself.

With these, some of the surprises at the end we've changed - we've thought we've had one route in our mind and we've thought, "Actually, now looking at it, we've got a third of the way in, I think people are going to - this is obvious to us," so we've changed it. So that's hopefully second-guessing what people think the story might be going. So that's been enjoyable. Writing a lot, talking a lot, and then beginning to be able to write it down with what we need to get out of the scenes as far as exposition and trying to hide the exposition. And then finally there's a pass that's "and why is it funny?" and hopefully that's the final kind of bit that puts it into BBC comedy. You know, it is meant to be funny. A lot of our things are not funny, I concede, but it's because we kind of enjoy the drama and the tension and the release of that in the mechanics of telling a joke. So yeah, a lot of writing before we dare to write so that we're not trapped not knowing where we're going.

Interviewer: Well, gentlemen, thank you so much for being so talented, being so generous with your wisdom and your experiences, and the very best of luck tomorrow night.

All: Thank you, thank you.

[haunted-carousel-productions]

Lessons for first-time Audiodrama creators I learned making Lavender Evening Fog

Today marks the four year anniversary of the first full episode of @lavender-evening-fog-podcast. If you want to make audiodrama, here are some lessons that I learned along the way, that will make it easier for you. We went into it loving the audiodrama artform but not knowing a lot about it, so please learn from the experience we gained making the show over four seasons.

Cut the volume you plan to put out in half. And then maybe cut that in half. There are a few ways you can do this-- for example if you are planning on every other week, put out monthly episodes instead. Or maybe rather than doing a 12-episode season, you do a 6-episode season. Or maybe rather than doing 12 half hour episodes, do 12 fifteen minute episodes. One of these ways of reducing may make more sense for your story than the others, but the takeaway is the same--producing an audio drama is a lot of work, and if you have never done it before, it is likely more work than you expect. You can still tell your story, it might just take more time. "But Victoria," you say, "I am already being very pragmatic about this!" I believe you dear reader. When we started LEF we intentionally made the episodes monthly because we knew more frequently would be difficult. Yet the plan was to have two 12-episode seasons that would involve dropping an episode every month for two years without break. About six episodes in we realized that we would burn out if we did it that way. Fortunately, because of how we mapped the story, it was very easy to convert that to four six-episode seasons. This allowed us to take breaks while still having consistency in our release cadence, because that consistency is incredibly important, and it is easiest to sustain over time if you have a handle on the work.

Have as much as possible done before you develop a release schedule. This may be the exception to #1--if you have everything done, by all means, go forward with whatever schedule you like. But it is easier to have a season done and drop episodes than to be working on it up to your release day.

If you can't have everything done before you start thinking about a release schedule, at least have the writing done and polished. Sometimes, you will need to revise pretty heavily. Especially at the beginning when you are getting the voice right. Because writing and getting feedback can take awhile, you want to give time to think about it, try to have your scripts done if nothing else.

If you find yourself relying on some part of your story too heavily, try writing a scenario without it. At the end of Season 1, we introduced the idea of Nick voicing Billy, and by the Season 2 premiere, we felt comfortable recording more interactions (remember, this project started during peak Covid). I was so excited to write for more than just myself, so I wrote a bunch of Billy scenes that didn't move anything forward. Once it was pointed out that this was a problem, I decided to send Billy to a conference. That gave me an opportunity to reframe rather than relying on a narrative crutch. This resulted in the Anna-Georgina is sick episode, which I still think is one of my favorites.

Create frameworks that make writing easier. For example, we wrote the show in little fragments of Anna-Georgina's audiodairies. That made it so much easier to plan (we know we need 8-12ish segments per ep), to write (again, if I wasn't feeling like tacking a particular big of the plot, I could work on another), and to record (The Lucy letters and the long pieces of exposition were always recorded last)

Figure out your tech before you record your first episode. We didn't fully and I'm still kind of embarrassed. Like I'm proud of what we produced starting out, but I wish we (mostly me, Nick always knew what he was doing) had figured it out earlier.

[trevorsgodmother]

𝓞𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓷𝓮… (M.S 🌪)

"Wish you were here right now All of the things i'd do" ☞ Masterlist

Warnings: Smutty smut, CYBER SEX, fingering, jerking off, swearing, pet names, getting caught (?), mentions of spicy pics teehee POV: First person (Matt and reader) Summary: You missed Matt too much, and get an idea...

(Your POV)

I'm currently sitting on my bed, bored out of my mind. My roommate was out for the day, and all my other friends were working. The only other person I could think of bothering was Matt, but he lived 3 hours away. It was annoying, the long distance, but we made it work. I wonder if he would be busy.

Then, I get an idea.

(Matt's POV)

I doom scroll through my phone, unwinding after the long, busy day me and my brothers had. They'd retreated to their own rooms, leaving my floor completely quiet, which was rare.

I was debating on calling my girlfriend, but didn't want to seem needy or overwhelming because we'd called earlier today.

A ping alerts me of a notification. I smile as I see the contact name. My girlfriend. That solved my problem. I click on the notification from SnapChat, leading to a snap. That was a bit weird, usually she just sent photos through messages. Unless...

I click the red square to open it. And my mouth goes dry. It's a mirror selfie of her sitting on her bed, in a blue lingerie set I'd bought her last month for our anniversary.

Holy fuck-

I feel a stirring in my pants, biting my lip as I screenshot the picture and save it to my hidden folder. Great. Now I'm rock hard.

(Your POV)

I giggle as I accept the call, my voice innocent. "Hi Matt. I missed you." I hear a sigh of exasperation from the other line. "You know I could've been around my brothers. Where was the warning??" I smirk at his breathlessness, knowing what's going on with him 'down there'. Even though he can't see me, I twirl my hair, putting on a slightly seductive tone. "Something tells me you wouldn't have minded." His breath hitches as he murmurs. "You're insane. And stop being all cocky"

The rustling of fabric makes a grin spread across my lips. "Whatcha doing then, Matt?" "You know exactly what I'm doing" His rough voice catches me off guard, and my dark blue panties are instantly soaked.

I swallow, shifting down a bit to get comfortable. My free hand trails down my body as I hear him start to grunt. “Matt-“ My voice is whiny, already full of need. I rub over my underwear first, letting myself get wetter.

But I can't hold back.

Every groan from him makes it harder to resist giving into my arousal, and so, as soon as my hand dips under my waistband, I'm in heaven. My fingers skillfully slide up and down my slick heat, gathering my wetness on my fingers. Every stroke makes me bite my lip harder, probably leaving a deep indent. I tease myself a little, then push my fingers in, gasping loudly at the penetration.

One hand is holding the phone to my ear, listening to my boyfriend pleasure himself, while the other is helping me get off to the sound of him.

My fingers moving in and out at a fastening pace causes high-pitched sounds to leave my lips, forgetting about my neighbours for a second. Not that I cared, it felt way too good.

(Matt's POV) (god grant me the strength)

As soon as my hand wrapped around my erection, I let out a deep sigh of relief. That picture had affected me wayyy more than it should've. Then again, I had carefully chosen that set to highlight her best features.

And it definitely did.

Her breath hitching on the other end as she heard me start pumping gave me a boost of confidence (guys i lowk dk how to write jerking off but oh well).

My calloused fingers felt heavenly against my hard cock, each motion making small whimpers escape my lips. I steadily spread my precum down my shaft while satisfying myself. "You don't know how good it is to hear your voice darling-" I rasp out. My eyes are half-lidded as I imagine her hand on me instead, her acrylics sparkling in the low lighting.

My stroking grows more erratic as I hear squelching from the other end.

The combination of her moans while she touched herself plus the sounds of her fingers working were sending me to the edge fast.

My hand quickens, hips jerking up in time to meet my movements. "Fuuckkk, baby- 'm so close-" I groan, eyes fluttering.

She whines softly, and I can tell she is too. "Fuck- Matt-" My stomach tightens, and my dick twitches as she says my name.

"Do- do that again baby-" She moans my name again, and I gasp as I tighten my hold and cum. I let out a guttural groan as hot ropes land on my hand and stomach, my eyes scrunched shut in pleasure.

(Your POV)

As soon as I hear him finish, my body tingles and the band in my tummy snaps. I cry out as I coat my fingers, slowing down my pace to ride out the orgasm.

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I wipe my fingers onto my bed sheets.

We stay quiet for a second, before Matt murmurs out. "You ok baby?"

I sigh and nod, then realise he can't see me. "Yes. That was..." "Incredible" He finishes. I pull my blanket up over me, snuggling into the comfort of my bed. "So, about that picture..." I tease. He groans softly. "Fuck, don't even remind me of that." "Why, you gonna get hard again?"

Matt scoffs (ominous music plays as the characters fade into the distance). "I mean, can you blame me baby? You looked absolutely delicious in that set."

My cheeks flush, the words adding to my post-orgasmic bliss and almost making me speechless. "Shut- shut up Matt"

I hear him chuckle, but my ringtone interrupts our moment. I pull the screen away to see who it is, and my brow furrows. "Hang on, someone's calling me." "Who is it?" He asks curiously.

"It's... Nick?" I hear his tone shift as he grunts, annoyed. "What the shit does he want? It's almost 8 in the evening!" "I don't know. I'll call you back, ok?" He sighs, grunts again in acceptance, and cuts our call.

(Matt's POV)

I wait for what seems like forever, immediately back to my doom scrolling. I'm silently cursing my brother for cutting our phone call short, since I was already getting aroused again just thinking of her in that set-

My phone buzzes.

I pick up as fast as possible. "Hello? Babe?" All I hear is laughing and slight choking. "Um...are you ok?" She just keeps going, her breathing getting slightly strained. Finally, her giggles have died down enough to say; "Nick- asked me if- I was over." I'm confused. "Wait, why?"

What she says next mortifies me, making me freeze to my core. My girlfriend, however, could not give less of a fuck that I'd never live this down with my brothers.

"He heard you moaning my name-"

A/N: First smut fic about my boy Matty B <3 (I feel so awkward writing smut bro) DONOT STEAL MUAHAHAH (🎀) Taglist: @hearts4werka @stvrnzcherries @spaghetti835928383 @pvssychicken @snowysosturn @sllutty-sturniolo @sturnmeovr Dividers by @bernardsbendystraws and @issysh3ll -Ropitipop 👁👅👁

[jimblejamblewritings]

starlight moonlight sunlight — blurb eleven

Title: Two Steps Forward

Pairing: eventual poly!Wolfstar x reader

Warnings: light angst, hurt/comfort, we're approaching the comfort part

blurb series navigation here | previous blurb here

✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾✭ ☾

The first couple of times that you and your friends went to the lake, no one else was there. After you sent a letter by owl, the marauders and company started coming. You didn’t want to take advantage of James’ hospitality. At the end of the day, this was quite literally his home. They could use the lake if they wanted to. So while sometimes you staggered times, most days your friend group and the marauders simply took to separate sides of the lake. 

It was mildly pathetic — Remus and Sirius were aware — that they just stared at you when you and your friends weren't looking but they couldn't help it. Your bathing suits left very little to the imagination. Honestly, sometimes they were sure that you were just using your underwear as a swimsuit. This was one of those times. You slowly came out of the water, drying yourself off with a large fluffy towel.

"I have to go guys. I promised to come in early and help close the store after my book signing."

"Good luck. We'll be the first in line when it's time."

With a laugh, you gave them a wave before heading back inside the cottage to get ready for work. You had finished your book before graduation, with nothing but time thanks to the sudden loneliness you had found yourself in. It had been picked up by an agent relatively quickly and a publisher even quicker than that. And now it was officially out. Ever since the marketing for your book came out the bookstore saw a new light. You weren't sure if you were going to reach bestseller status but at least the bookstore saw customers daily now. And from what you could tell, the pre-order numbers weren't bad.

Only half an hour after you left, Max also got out of the water to go run a few errands. He probably didn't need to leave this early but he wanted to make sure that he and the rest of your friends were in fact the first in line for your signing. He could have apparated to a closer spot near Gringotts but chose to pass by the bookstore instead, chuckling when he saw you promptly reach to change the radio station.

The marauders had been finding some success with their band. They weren't huge and they weren't even sure if they were going to continue it professionally past university but it was fun for now. You, however, had a strict rule that no songs by Mischief Managed were ever allowed to be played while you were on shift.

With the scariest of your friends gone for the better half of the morning, Remus and Sirius found an opportunity to pounce. For once in his life, the raven-haired man kept his mouth shut and let his boyfriend do all the talking. Remus wanted to shrink under the gaze of your friends. They weren't nearly as scary as Max and he was a good bit taller than all of them yet three pairs of eyes focused on him was still fairly intimidating. Pamola, Jace, and Tilda all exchanged glances as they listened to Remus' ramblings. At some point, they weren't even sure what he was going on about anymore.

Pamola finally cut him off. "We'll be at your place for tea in twenty minutes. We can talk then."

They would have thought Remus just one the lottery with how bright he smiled. He and Sirius practically ran back to the main house on Potter Estate to get the sunroom ready. Obviously, they still had to apologize to you but they were more than aware they had to get through your friends first. They didn't have to be liked but Remus and Sirius needed to be tolerated enough to not have all their attempts blocked.

The sunroom looked nice. Pamola, Jace, and Tilda had to admit as they sat down. Sirius was a perfect gentleman as he prepared their tea to each person's liking, continuing to let Remus take the lead. There was much less flustered bumbling this time. Pamola and Matilda put on their best mean glares while Jace motioned for the two men to sit down.

"Do you know why we, especially Max, have been so hostile towards you?"

"Because you're good friends?"

He chuckled. "At least you understand the concept of flattery, Lupin. No, we're this way because she won't be. Garden nymphs are loyal to a fault. So are wood nymphs. Trees and gardens don’t move. They don’t flow with the wind but stay firm. She’s only two generations of wizard. Ancient bloodline of nymphs. She doesn’t know how to leave until that wizard side kicks in.” 

Pamola took a sip of her tea. “She’s been hurt before with other friends. Stayed longer than she should have. Y/N was hurt pretty badly by the whole thing.” 

“What happened?” 

“Nymphs are nature so they are very comfortable with a lack of clothing.” 

“Yeah, we’ve noticed,” Remus said with a laugh. It would be impossible not to be aware at this point.

“She trusted them. Made a little grove in the woods on school grounds and everything. Finally showed them a place where she could just be herself. They went swimming in the river and took pictures of her. Everyone wanted to see what a nymph looked like under her clothes.”

Matilda huffed. “They cut her face out of the pictures and convinced her that it was okay. Just an accident. No one outside of school could tell but we only have two student nymphs and the other one is a guy. Everyone at Ilvermorny knew it was her.” 

“They did that?” 

She nodded. “And she was still friends with them for another three months until we got her to be with us instead. Gardens don’t leave when their tillers stop tending to them. They just stay where they are until they wither. Nymphs are the same. Just be nice to her a few times and you’ve got the garden in your hands. She loves until it destroys her.”

“She never told us.” 

“Of course not.” Jace sat back in his chair. “Look, it’s nothing against you, even before this shit happened she still wouldn’t have told. It accidentally gets out and everyone’s trying to be her friend or get with her while knowing they can treat her like shit and she won’t stop them.” 

Sirius scratched the back of his head, looking up to try and prevent tears from welling in his eyes. It probably took a lot of courage and effort for you to tell him off those times. Even though it ruined your friendship, he was really proud of you for doing so. He sniffled a bit before looking back at your friends. 

“Who’s the other nymph? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Me,” Jace said, his ears turning pointed at the tips. “Nymphs stick together. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t protect Y/N. Look, you two have been decent ever since we've been here. Come after her book signing but don't expect us to help you if she doesn't want to talk to you."

Remus and Sirius nodded with the utmost sincerity. All they wanted was a chance to talk you again. They truly weren't expecting anything else no matter how badly they were hoping for it. Was it torture waiting for the clock to read 6pm? Absolutely. But the marauders weren't going to risk messing anything up by arriving even a second too early.

You smiled in satisfaction as you packed up the little sign in the window that had announced the book signing. Even though he didn't work there, Max stayed behind for a little bit to help you clean up. Like expected, the crowd wasn't going for miles down the road but it was enough people to fill up the store. And that was more than good enough for you. You briefly paused your wiping down of tables when you heard the bell on the store's front entrance chime.

"Hello, welcome to Pages in Bloom. Feel free to look around but it's Sunday so we do close in twenty minutes. Be right wit—.” You paused at seeing the marauders and company.

James and Peter held up multiple bags. “We brought wine to celebrate the debut.” 

Max slung an arm around your shoulder, staring them down. Sirius recognized that look. The one fiercely protective of a friend. The one that threatened everyone around because he had to pick up the pieces and would be damned if someone else came in to shatter your heart again. 

“Do you want me to kick them out?” he whispered against your shoulder. 

“No, I'll be fine. And you have a date, don't want to miss it."

They knew they had no right but Sirius and Remus breathed out sighs of relief at confirmation that he wasn’t your boyfriend. 

“You sure?” 

You nodded. Max walked past the group without saying a word, shoulder checking Sirius who just let it happen. To say there was tension would be the understatement of a century. Quietly, wine bottles were opened and poured into glasses. Congratulations and rave reviews fell from everyone's lips. You politely thanked them back. But no one seemed able to move past pleasantries and address anything deeply. You had a sense that maybe they were avoiding do so, waiting for something or someones, judging by the way they kept glancing over at your ex and his partner. Eventually, the sun started to set and the others slowly began filing out. Remus and Sirius stayed seated.

You preemptively poured another glass of wine, fearing you might need it. Remus gladly took the bottle from you when it was offered and poured himself the largest amount he could muster. He ran a hand through his hair before settling it to rest on the table.

"Firstly, before we say anything else, we want to apologize. Y/N, I'm sorry, truly."

You listened intently as Sirius echoed his sentiments. They didn't mince words, directly apologizing for what they did wrong rather than trying to be vague about it. And they didn't make excuse after excuse either.

"And I know we're in no position to make requests," Sirius started. "But we'd like to start over with you. Well, Moony would. I'd like to be given a chance to simply start something. If you'll have the both of us, that is."

The glass of wine in your hands felt heavy as you traced your finger along the rim. It wasn't a mattered of if you wanted them. Sirius' flirtatious nature wasn't something you were immune to. Remus' nice personality drew you in the first time. And both of them were more than pleasing to the eye. So the problem wasn't if you wanted them. It was should you let yourself want them.

“I don’t want another broken heart,” you admitted. “You hurt me, Remus. You really did.” 

“I know. But we promise that you won’t have another broken heart.” 

“I want to believe you but I can’t. I’m sorry.” 

“Is there any way we can fix this? Any inkling of a small possibility you’ll allow us to fix this?” 

You finally looked at them. “I would love for this to work. You’re both really nice and care for your friends and love each other dearly. I’d love that, to be a part of that. But I don’t think it’ll work. It’s the Remus and Sirius show. No room for other actors.” 

“It’s not. It won’t be. We promise.”

Sirius started to reach for your hand but thought better of it. "Let us prove it. We're not asking for anything right now but when uni starts can you at least close off your dating schedule? Pencil us in for all the slots… or at least half of them?"  

You nodded ever so slightly. Semi-exclusivity was something you were willing to give them.

|next blurb coming soon|

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[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

What up y'all! I return bearing what was originally gonna be survival!shipping fluff (I sketch the face first and drew young Garmadon instead of his full Oni version) but morphed into this because my ass was listening to Ethel Cain and Flower Face while drawing. Honestly I took it and wound up playing rendering/color and quite frankly I'm actually pretty happy with how it turned out!

Translations: Vertical word- Destruction, bottom text- "You are no man, men don't have claws they can't cut."

Garmadon is my favorite character to use for these more painterly metaphorical art studies because:

A) He's my babygirl and favorite character, this is very well established lol

B) He's a fundamentally tragic character. He's doomed by the narrative in every sense of the word, he was a child when he was bit and after that he was left to deal with the fact that there was this evil snake in his head and his father as well as his brother (seemingly the only people he interacted with as a child) were now somewhat afraid of him. By his young adulthood his relationship with his family begins to strain due to their belief he's "turning evil" especially when going on the quest for tea leaves in Spinjitzu Brothers which shows he actually feels rather upset/angry that his brother and father believe he's turning evil simply because he experiences negative emotions (you know like a normal person) but then after he see's himself in the mirror in book three he goes on a downward spiral believing he's doomed to turn evil and be alone. We don't really know what happens after book four since the fifth and final book never came out but it's easy to assume that the tea didn't work and Garmadon is left all the worse for it coming out of the trip with his mental health in the gutter. We don't know to much about what happens in-between then and when he goes to Chen's Island but we do know that he doesn't seem to have gotten better since in Shatterspin he's still pretty self sacrificing and other people have begun to notice his less than stellar mental state.

Then we know what happens after the war, his mind is consumed and he is left to be less than himself. Even then when he comes back from the underworld we see that he still cares about his son, he kills the Great Devourer, he still wants to be a person. At the end of season two he gets what he wants, he cured, and for the time that he is fully himself for the first time in years he begins to apologize and try to make up for all that he did (even if it lowkey wasn't 100% his fault seeing he was being controlled by an evil snake), but even that didn't last. He dies, or moreover sacrifices himself to save Ninjago from Chen's Anacondrai army, but he dies a good person, he gets a memorial and family that mourns the truest version of himself. And then he was brought back again, ripped from the afterlife but only as half of himself, only the evil side, the side he spent thousands of years repressing until he couldn't anymore and regretted the second he was himself again. Despite that despite the fact it is supposedly only his evil side left he is still trying to be good, with the Garmadon comics showing his desire for redemption and his care for his son even in what he had thought to be his dying moments.

I think this is what makes one of the beginning lines from the Garmadon comics all the more tragic "Who knows what life he may have lived had he not been corrupted by the Great Devourer and cast into the underworld." He might have gotten to live a different life, he may have gotten to be happy and not fear what he might become, he might not have had to die multiple times over, but we'll never know because that's not what happened instead his fate was twisted by something completely and utterly out of his control.

So yeah he's a little fucked up and that's why he's my favorite! Hope y'all enjoyed my long winded rant, I have so many opinions on this man and don't even get me started on how much I hate crystalized for how it fucked up his development from the comics, but uhhh I think that's it!

If you want to you can check out my fic What Doesn't Kill You it's mostly me putting him in a jar and putting him under a microscope lol, other than that I hope yall have a great day/night and I'll see you when I appear from the mist again! PEACE OUT!

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[anonyanonymouse]

I'm so disappointed I won't be able to immediately tune in on the twst update like usual 😭 I'm pretty sure this is the first time I won't be watching it right after it's up, and not only that, but my early morning obligation preventing me from enjoying the update is going to last FIVE hours 😭😭😭

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[tardis--dreams]

Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes

[skrunksthatwunk]

just found out rascal (babycat)'s been with his owner this whole time instead of my roommate which is. something. :|

[united-under-skyfall]

.

[meticulousmaker]

another random thing that stands out to me rewatching Steven Universe as an adult:

throughout the show there's this clear Vibe that Steven has inherited some big magical destiny, right? and it makes sense narratively: he's the son of Rose Quartz, leader of the rebellion, now being raised by her friends who were the last remaining survivors of an interstellar war. he's like a human child in most ways, except he has magical powers that start to become more obvious as he's getting older. no one like him has ever existed before. it's a big deal. raising him and figuring out how he's going to grow is its own unique challenge, because nobody knows what to expect. so of course there's this magical destiny vibe, given all that.

What's interesting to me, though, is that this magical destiny is in no way literally, physically present in the story, it's just something everyone kinda feels. Like, there's not some ancient prophecy about a half-gem, half-human savior. He's not the Chosen One in any literal sense, he just happens to give off Chosen One vibes. And I say that's interesting because it means that the fact he was kinda raised with this Chosen One vibe is completely a decision everyone around him made, for better or for worse. And the show is aware of this, because the weight of Rose's legacy and everyone's expectations of him is a constant theme, and as Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl all grow and develop, they also realize the downsides of them putting those expectations on a child. Like, Steven spends his whole childhood being told about how great Rose was, and how because he's inherited her gem he will probably inherit her powers - and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Imagine how awful things could have been if Steven had no exposure to the Gems and no knowledge of what they were or how they worked, and then his powers started coming in? It was hard enough even when he was surrounded by the most qualified Gem Experts on Earth. But being primed for all of this "you're going to have your mother's magical powers" stuff put a heavy weight on his shoulders, and then the fact that nobody else quite knew how his abilities worked meant he was constantly faced with the adults in his life looking to him with concern because they didn't know what was happening with him. That's gotta leave an impression on a kid - and, well, throughout the show and especially in SU Future we definitely see that it does.

I like the way the show handles the pressure that's put on him, and the fact that everyone is just... trying their best in a completely unprecedented situation. Nobody knows what to do or how to raise this kid, and that inevitably causes problems but everyone is trying. And Steven can feel that everyone is trying without knowing what to do and he just wants to help and not be a burden and none of his caretakers have said that he's a burden but he can feel everyone's confusion and concern and the expectations he's not living up to and he cares so much, about everyone, about everything. He's in an extremely unique position that grants him opportunities to help that nobody else has, and he feels like he's failing everyone if he can't fulfill that, and in the end it never should have been his job to fix things but somebody had to try. Somebody had to try, and he was one of the only people with the ability to stop the Diamonds, stop the war, stop the lies, stop his world and everyone on it from being destroyed... and he was just a kid.

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Y'know, there's this gripe I've had for years that really frustrates me, and it has to do with Love, Simon and people joking about it and calling it too-pg and designed-for-straight-people and all the like. (A similar thing has happened to Heartstopper, but that's another conversation.)

I saw Love, Simon in theaters when it came out my senior year in high school. I saw it three times, once with my friends/parents on opening night, once with my brother over spring break, and once with my grandparents.

On opening night, the air in the room was electric. It was palpable. Half the heads in there were dyed various colors. Queer kids were holding hands. We were all crying and laughing and cheering as a group. My friends grabbed my hands at the part where Simon was outed and didn't let go until his parents were saying that they accepted him. My friend came out to me as non-binary. Another person in our group admitted that she had feelings for girls. It was incredible. I left shaking. This was the first mainstream queer romance movie that had ever been produced by one of the main five studios, and I know that sounds like another "first queer character from Disney" bit but you have to understand that even in 2018 this was groundbreaking. Getting to have a sweet queer rom-com where the main character was told that he got "to breathe now" after coming out meant so much to me and my friends.

But also, from a designed-for-straight-people POV (which, to be frank, it was written by a bisexual author and directed by a gay man, this was not designed for straight audiences), why is it a bad thing that it appealed to the widest possible audience? That it could make my parents and grandparents see things in a new light? My stepdad wasn't at all interested in rom-coms but he saw it with me because it was something I cared about and he hugged me when we came out of the theater. My very Catholic grandparents watched it with me and though my grandpa said he still didn't quite understand the whole 'gay thing,' all he wanted was for me to be happy and to have a happy ending like Simon did. My Nana actually cried when Simon came out and squeeze my hand when his mother told him he could breathe.

And when Martin blackmailed Simon, my mom, badass ally that she is, literally hissed "Dropkick him. Dropkick him in the balls" leading to multiple queer kids in the audience to laugh or smile. Having my parents there- the only parents, by the way, out of my group of queer and questioning friends- made multiple people realize that supportive adults were out there. That parents like those in Love, Simon do exist in real life.

When people complain about Heartstopper not being realistic or Love, Simon being too cutesy, I remember seeing Love, Simon on opening night. I remember my friend coming out and my stepdad hugging me and my mom defending us through this character. I remember the cheers that went through the audience when Bram and Simon kissed and the chatter in the foyer after the movie was over and the way that this movie made me understand that happy endings do exist.

Queer kids need happy endings. Straight people need entry points to becoming allies. Both of these things can come together in beautiful ways. They can find out about more queer culture later, but for now, let them have this. Let them all have a glimpse at a better, happier world. Let them have queer joy.

[inbabylontheywept]

the fine and subtle art of arguing with old men

it was a good week for testing which meant it was a slow week for me. most of my job is fixing the machine when it goes down. if it doesn't go down, i don't have much to do. 

fortunately neither did marc. in a site full of ornery old bastards, he's the oldest and the orneriest, so it goes without saying that i enjoy spending time with him. he reminds me of my grandpa. hell, he reminds me of a lot of people. i've befriended enough grumpy old men that i've got a sort of momentum to it now - you know how it is, when you meet someone that reminds you of someone else you really like. you get to start that friendship off half built, because you already have an idea of how to like that guy, and some of that old warmth can be brought to the new friendship. a little ember to start the stove up with.

(i think that's one of the really undersold beauties of getting older. you stop viewing people as strangers and more like remixes of friends.)

anyway, i was sitting next to marc and we were talking about the future. i've got my eye on having kids sometime soon (year or two? hopefully?), and he's very happy for me. i've tried asking him for advice, but all he says is that he didn't do a great job with his own kids and they still turned out okay, so i should stress less and trust myself more. i hope he's right. he believes it, at least, and it's a hell of a thing to have the faith of an old man. his faith is hard won.

as for his plans, he's retiring at some point in the next six months, and is hoping to sell his home and buy something in florida. he's republican, so he views the state as paradise, and i'm not inclined to even try talking him out of it. it's his dream, you know? i know for a fact my paradise would be a lot of people's hell. life's funny like that.

still, we kept going on, and it was a good time, and then he reminisced about the last time he got close to quitting - back around 2020. our job required getting vaxxed, and he refused, and there was a big kerfuffle about it before the job actually backed down. i know there's not a lot of sympathy for the unvaxxed out here, but the man's 62. you get the shot when you're under 30 to protect the people around you, but when you're over 60, you're just getting it to protect yourself and it's hard to be mad at someone for kicking their own ass. 

still gave me pause though. i knew he wasn't going to take it well, but half the job of collecting curmudgeons is keeping them around, so i said 

hey. i'm sorry they bent your arm over it, but.

but. 

you should really get that shot. 

and he looked over at me, and i looked at him, and he actually spat. not on me, just the concrete, but it was enough to show that he was mad. then he walked away, as abrupt as anything.

i felt bad about it. i wasn't sure what i'd expected, when he was willing to lose his job over it before, but i'd been so invested in his dream of retirement - the idea of him sipping margaritias on a beach next to his wife, the wife he calls every day during lunch, the wife he says is the one thing in life he ever got right on the first try. the wife that almost divorced him back when he was in the airforce because he just wasn't home enough. 

(but he can be home now.) 

and then he mentioned the vax thing, and it was like seeing a pin hit a balloon. he works out every day and takes all sorts of crazy vitamins and is generally committed to getting the most out of his pension and his life. i didn't want this dumb weak point to be his achilles heel. 

---

i wasn't actually sure how long marc would be mad at me. i've seen him stay mad at some people for weeks. i wasn't sure if being friends would make that time go up or down. 

it went down. i'm glad it went down. 

he stopped being mad about two days later. we were doing front end maintenance one morning, and it was just that simple mechanical rhythm - hex key, replace the anode sheets, punch some off-gassing holes, oil it up, put it back in - that put things at ease. it always does. people working there are too busy to remember grudges, and it has this sort of mandatory practical communication that helps smooth things over. it was going great, and then out of the blue he said babs, you gotta be careful giving advice. those shots come with complications. what would you do if i got that shot, had a stroke, and died? 

and i don't know what answer he was expecting, but i just told him the truth, which is that i would be devastated. i'd feel like i killed him. i thought that was a pretty normal response, but he looked taken aback. he asked why i said it then, and i said i'd have felt the same if he died of covid. that's just life. sometimes, there's no way forward that doesn't risk some kind of regret. 

we finished the tube after that, in a silence that felt heavier than peace but lighter than anger. it felt like the ball was back in marc's court. like it would be rude to take that turn from him. 

we parted ways with a nod and didn't speak until the next day. 

---

i was doing spreadsheet work when he found me again. standard paper engineering - thinking of things we might need and ordering them in batches, months ahead of time. it always feels a little like plugging holes in a dam with my fingers. 

but he popped up, and we didn't even exchange pleasantries. he just said i'm gonna die one day, and you can't blame yourself for that. 

which is a hell of a thing to just tell someone right off the bat. 

so i said what 

and he said babs, i am in my 60s. something is gonna get me eventually, and whether it's covid or heart disease, or a stroke, there will be something you could have said or done before. and that's okay. it's not your job to make me live forever. 

and you know, he actually made a lot of sense. so i said 

okay. 

i'll keep your business yours. i just

you were talking about your retirement before this. and i want that for you very much. you've worked hard for 45 years, and you deserve a break. we're getting to sick season, and it would be the saddest fucking thing in the world if you got this close to winning the race then tripped in the last ten feet. 

and we sat there a few moments longer. i wasn't sure what to say, and i wasn't sure what he'd say, but eventually he just shrugged and said

yeah 

then he left. i figured that would be the end of it. 

---

i did front end maintenance yesterday, after being gone a week. it's one of my favorite things to do. i like working with my hands. i really like working with my hands. i'm glad i went to college, but in a different life, i think i could've made a better electrician than an electrical engineer. 

and at one step, when we were both hoisting the plate back onto the machine, his sleeve rode up, and i saw two bandaids on his arm. 

we finished the install, and i was ready to go back when marc actually stopped me. 

i got the shot, he said, almost embarrassed. like he'd been caught. and i knew he was gonna say something dumb about it, so i just cut him off by giving him a hug. 

i was relieved. hugging old men is kind of like picking up cats. if they like you a lot, they'll tolerate it, but that's about it. we sat there maybe three beats before his hands went up, and then he gave me one overly-hard thump on the back. in my experience, this is how old men tell you that they're done, so i let him go.

carla talked me into it, he said, almost defensive. his wife. his one good decision.

tell her i said thanks, i said back.

trump got the shot too, he said, less defensive, but oddly pleading. like he was consoling himself.

like he was nervous.

then it's gotta be safe, i said, and he looked up at me, strangely searching, strangely vulnerable. i don't know exactly what he was looking for, but i guess he found it because after a few moments his shoulders relaxed.

yeah, he said, one hand on the back of his head.

it's gotta be.