#I didn't even realize how many days passed since my last art

[helsensm]

me: I think this art block is behind me now, I feel like drawing again

hormonal imbalance and self-deprecating thoughts: no you don't

aaaanyway, railao sketchbook doodles! ⚡🌸

[whiteskullofroses]

Hi! I saw that you accept request for Baldwin IV. If you do still accept, could you pls write one where y/n and Baldwin would stay up too late talking to each other until one falls asleeps? Thanks 💕

Hi there thank you for the request! And to clarify, you can always request any characters you want❤️ Enjoy!

LATE NIGHT TALK

Baldwin Iv x reader

It was a cold night in Jerusalem. You were walking around the palace gazing up at the stars and thinking about life when all of a sudden, a familiar voice grabbed your attention: "Y/N!" He called out to you from his room. It was all lit up with candles so you could see his shape clearly: "Care to join me?" The young king's voice sounded so energetic, even though it was already midnight. You answered: "With pleasure!" And happily headed out to his quarters.

Once you reached the hallway that led to his room, you noticed that the door was already opened for you but still, you knocked on the wood to make your presence known.

He turned from his desk to look at you. His mask shone from the candles around him and made his blue eyes sparkle.

"Care for a round?" Baldwin gestured towards the chess set and sat down at the table. "Y/n" Sitting down and listening to his words "I've missed you tonight. I rarely see you these days."

You smiled and replied: "Work has been incredibly tiring," taking a sip of some wine a servant poured: "I've hardly found any time for friends."

Baldwin leaned closer to you: "Well now it's the time. Relax."

You started the chess game and asked: "How come weren't you at the banquet last Monday?"

The King moved a pawn and sighed: "I had an unexpected meeting which I couldn't miss."

Nodding, you moved on since you didn't want to trouble him with hard topics so late in the night.

"Have you read any new poetry lately?" Asking him like you always do, you always loved to listen to him talk about the things he was passionate about, one of them being literature.

Whether it be myths from across Europe containing dragons and other mystical beings or poetry that many saw as simple, however from a trained eye's perspective it was true art projected onto paper.

"Yes, I've read this wonder piece from a book from France Preseren called 'Poezije'" Grabbing the book from a nearby chair and flipping through it, Baldwin proclaimed: "Would you like to hear it?"

"I'd love to, Baldwin." You supported your head with your elbow on the table, as the late hours of the night cut into your brains. "Where did you get it from?"

"I believe I got this book as a gift from my sister when she visited Carniola."

Finally, he started reading, his voice soft as ever:

Fresh flowers will spread fragrance far and near,

Like roses when the winter's passed away.

Your eyelids became heavier and heavier with every word he spoke:

And spring displays its marvelous array,

While through the trees white scattered blossoms peer

Your breathing became deeper, with waves of relaxation washing through your body. All of a sudden you felt like you were 10 years old again, when your mother used to read you books to help you fall asleep.

All this time away from your parents and away from your childhood made you forget how soothing it was and how much you enjoyed it.

Baldwin continued reading the poem whilst you were drifting off into peaceful sleep, right there on his 'chess table'.

He hardly noticed you falling asleep right opposite to him as he was focusing on the text he was reading. But when he finished reading the poem and looked up from the book, he realized you slept through half of it.

He chuckled to himself. Baldwin wasn't mad or annoyed with you, rather he felt a sort of fulfillment that he managed to get you to fall asleep.

For a moment he just sat there, staring at you. You didn't know it at the time but he admired you deeply. For your intelligence and your beauty. He found that this was one of the times he could truly silently look at you and not feel bad about it.

Whenever he would catch himself gazing upon you he would get this guilt deep in his chest. He felt as though it was appropriate for him to look at you when the two of you were just colleagues.

So he slowly walked up to you and carefully picked you up. Walking up to his bed and laying you down in the middle, he knew he couldn't sleep there that night, that would be simply too much.

He decided to go and spend the night in the guest room. Just as he was about to leave your side, you woke up and grabbed him by the wrist, gently but enough so he could feel it.

"Baldwin, stay."

THE END.

[taringill]

Is Casey and Andrea planning to have kids in the future???? Does Andrea even know that Casey is from an alternative future or about his family, the Hamato family???? Also, has Casey ever been in a relationship with a boy before since he's bisexual? Love your art on rottmnt btw

Hi. Thank you, I am very pleased that you like my work on rottmnt🫶

Wow, I didn't expect questions about this couple. Well, since you've asked the questions, I'll answer them.

Yes, they are planning to. Spoiler: they will have a son named Cody Jones (who understood the reference, well done🤝).

Casey told Andrea that he was from an alternate future after a time when they were already dating. Imagine the look on her face as she listened to all this. Naturally, Andrea is aware of the Hamato family. Why was she not particularly surprised that these were mutants? I'm explaining. At the end of the film, we are clearly given to understand that people (New Yorkers at least) have become a little aware of the existence of turtles. And according to the plot, they are teenagers (minors), like Casey Jr. It is clear that he is still a child (he is about ±15 years old, Idk). Casey is the same age as the past/present turtles. And he met Andrea when they were both 21 years old. Accordingly, ± 6 years have passed since the end of the film (that's about it, this is my headcanon). At this point, all people are already aware of turtles, mutants and yokai. They begin to communicate, make friends, and so on. But this is my vision.

The fact that Casey Jr. is bisexual is my headcanon!

All the characters drawn here are the same age as Casey. I drew them at the age they were when they met Casey. Andrea is also bisexual. Before Casey, she had a relationship with a girl when they were both 16. The relationship lasted about a year.

Casey didn't have relationships with guys (I mean romantic ones). But he had a crush named Max. Violetta initiated the breakup because she no longer loved Casey as a boyfriend. They broke up when they were both 16 years old. Casey was having a hard time breaking up because he loved Violetta. Even at the moment of separation. The guy's brain exploded. Imagine, he lived all his childhood in the apocalypse, when he had to survive every day, he lost all his loved ones and he did not want to part with the girl who gave him a feeling of euphoria. After all, she is not only his first friend in the new time, but also his first girlfriend (was). It was his first relationship in a new (for him) and peaceful time. But they remained friends, everything is fine with them.

As for Max, he and Casey study together and play on the same team (hockey). They became friends almost immediately after meeting. But over time, Casey realized that he had fallen in love with his friend. He liked Max very much, but they had nothing. And it could never be, because Max is heterosexual. That's how it happens... Casey, of course, was very upset. But he and Max remained friends. Of course, at first Casey was a little jealous of Max's girlfriend, who by that time had appeared at Max's🙃 But everything ended well. They didn't quarrel and Casey didn't interfere with the lovers in any way.

Eventually, 2 years later, he met Andrea (both were 21 years old at the time of their acquaintance), whom he started dating and with whom he would marry in the future, and they would have a son:3 With Violetta, he would not have been able to have at least one child, since she is a childfree (and also, she is aromantic). He found out about this after parting with her.

Andrea is a more family girl. But she does not want to be a mother with many children, because she herself comes from a large family. She had enough to sit with her younger twin brothers (they are 12 years old) and younger sister (4 years old). So she immediately told Casey: "Let's stop at one child and that's enough for us"😁

Thanks for the unexpected questions. I was glad to answer these questions for you:)

UPDATE!

Please read the above before update!

In short, the ages of the characters. I thought Casey Jr. was 15 years old in the movie, but it's officially known that he's about 20. Well, I gave him 20 years old.

In fact, everything that I described above remains unchanged, except for the ages of the characters, since Violetta, Max and Andrea are the same age as Casey Jr. Casey and Violetta met after the events of the movie, at the age of 20 and dated for less than a year. The reasons for the breakup are in this post. When Casey Jr. was 21 (closer to 22), he began to have romantic feelings for his friend Max, but they remained friends. You know why if you read above. And it was only at 24 that Casey met his future wife. If I draw Casey and Andrea, then they are at least 24 years old. The age difference between Andrea and her siblings does not change. So the younger twin brothers are not 12, but 15. So the younger sister is not 4, but 7. If I wrote that 6 years have passed from the moment when Casey started living in the past/present to the moment when he met Andrea. It's been 4 years now. That's all.

[inklessletter]

Confession time: I actually gave you a brush of this in previous confession times, but making the masterlist post I have just realized how brutally confident I just grew this June.

It's silly, but I'm getting emotional because of it. About eighteen months ago I started taking classes of digital art, although I've been drawing all my life, at some point I just stopped and it was suddenly ten years since I last picked up a pen and paper. I never, ever, have done digital art before last year.

It was good for me, I grew confident and I started showing what I did. I have very old folders full with traditional drawings since I was a little munchkin, but I have never shown those before in public. I wanted to take that back, the skill, the willing, the inspiration.

Last year I made some friends because of this artistic spree, but it ended up real bad. Like, real, real bad. Abandoning my nickname and fleeing social media for months bad. Going back to not showing my stuff in public. Losing everything I have been building up slowly, and that's how I got here.

I needed to leave my own mind behind and find something that gave me comfort and closure, so I came back to Stranger Things, something I liked in the loneliness of my bedroom, something that it felt like mine because no one around me loved it so much. I started reading fanfics, I've got a folder in my e-book with more than 200 of them (97% steddie). Then I started to feel that maybe I needed to take out some venom of my system, and I started writing some, even if it wasn't in my native language and I was terrified of making mistakes, because I just got the lesson that people hiding behind screens and shielded by anonymity could be ruthless, and cruel, and won't bat an eye if someone blatantly breaks you publicly.

But that didn't happen, and even if I had no range, I felt better writing, so I kept doing it. It felt like finally healing.

I eventually picked up the digital pencil again, believe me, with a lot of fear, after months of my last drawing. I'm talking from August to March. I just didn't want another ten years without drawing to pass. It felt like a baby step. A terrifying, unsure and shaking baby step.

I just didn't realize until today, making the masterlist, that I have done sixteen full illustrations in June. Sixteen. That's one (and a little bit) every two days. That's half a month drawing nonstop in my free time.

I don't know when I fell in love with it again.

I don't know many things.

But I know one: I'm grateful to be here, growing a little bit fearless everyday of just being me.

So, if you actually bothered to read all the way down here, let me thank you for being nice to a stranger. Keep doing it, you never know how much someone you don't know can be affected by a single nice act.

[shiningwonderland]

S Class Prologue (Repeat)

Translators: Momo (Twitter: peachandrabbit)

Proofreaders: Lala (Twitter: i_am_gamer)

Editors: Aoi (Twitter: AoiTsukihime), Terry (Twitter: turtlemudge)

Aria of the Beginning

“Idols.” Those whom we long for but can never be with.

“Idols.” Those who give dreams and energy to others.

“Idols.” To me, they are…

I am Haruka Nanami, age 15. Starting this spring, I’m aiming to become a composer who writes songs for these “idols”!

If I were to look back to my middle school years, I didn’t have anything.

I was extremely shy and I couldn’t make many friends, I was howled at by the neighborhood dogs, and scratched by stray cats…

I wanted to be useful to other people, but every time I tried to do something, it never worked out.

Through all those days when I felt bummed out, the idols on TV always cheered me up.

I want to compose songs for idols myself one day! To make that dream come true, I wrote a song.

I put all my feelings into this song and sent it with my application to Saotome Academy, a professional performing arts school where only one out of 200 applicants get in.

A few weeks later, I received a letter from Saotome Academy.

Select the Phrase!

わ。。。わたしがSクラス!? I… I got into S Class!?

It’s the first time one of my wishes has ever been granted, the first time one of my dreams has come true. This is the first step towards changing myself.

From today onward, my story begins!

Haruka Nanami: ... I didn't sleep at all. And today's the entrance ceremony…

I haven’t been able to sleep well since learning I passed the exam.

That I passed was amazing enough, but I even got into S Class... Will I be able to do this...?

With that in mind, I'd set to studying as much as possible and bought every book I could think of to read, but... I was still worried.

Since then, I’ve hardly slept.

Haruka Nanami: ... So sleepy... But I've got to do my best.

HAYATO: Ohayahooo~! How're all HAYATO's 10 million fans nationwide doing today?

HAYATO: Sending good vibes to everyone today from Studio 2~!

HAYATO: Today's theme iiiiis 'plants'! But I don't mean the corporate-bought kind! I'm talking about the cherry blossom flowers themselves!

Haruka Nanami: Ahh, HAYATO-sama, you're as lovely today as always.

My beloved HAYATO-sama is a new idol who debuted just last year.

No matter how difficult the trial, he always overcomes it with a smile. He's bright and energetic, just like the first star in the night sky.

HAYATO-sama is the reporter for this program, Ohayaho News, and no matter how busy or sleepy I am, I make sure to watch it.

I always kneel before the TV at this time!

That's my daily routine.

HAYATO: ... And that concludes the report from HAYATO! Everybody, bye-bye nya~!

Haruka Nanami: He's as amazing as always today... Thank you for the good vibes. Now I can give it my all today!

I initially left the house with plenty of time to spare. It should have taken me 30 minutes to reach the school... except I realize when I get to the train station that I left my wallet at home.

Haruka Nanami: I should still be able to make it in time...

Thinking this, I head back home to get my wallet.

Haruka Nanami: Only ten minutes to spare! If I run I'll just barely make it.

Lack of sleep makes me unsteady, but I still run full speed from my house back to the station. However, just before reaching the station—

Cat: Meoooow!

Haruka Nanami: ... A cat?

I hear a cat's plaintive meow from somewhere nearby.

Cat: Meow, mroooow!

Haruka Nanami: Where's the meowing coming from?

Upon looking around, I can't see the cat.

Cat: Meooow! Meooow!

Haruka Nanami: Aha!

The cat is up on a telephone pole.

Haruka Nanami: I see, you climbed up there and can't get down now. Don't worry, I'll catch you. C'mere...

I look up at the cat with my arms held out. After a moment's hesitation, the cat jumps down.

Haruka Nanami: Thank goodness, you don't seem to be hurt.

Cat: Mew!

The cat responds happily in my arms.

Haruka Nanami: No more climbing up high places, you hear?

After saying this, I put the cat down and start running again for the station.

... Except before reaching the station, it comes time for the train to leave.

Haruka Nanami: ... I'll run the rest of the way!

The school is two stops from here. If I run the whole way I might be able to make it, so I start running once again.

I run through the quiet residential streets, not bothering to look both ways before racing through the crosswalks along the way.

Haruka Nanami: Ah! Kyaaaaa!!

I’m going to be hit!

I shut my eyes tight. However...

Haruka Nanami: It... stopped?

A fancy-looking black car has come to a halt right in front of me.

If the driver had hit the brakes a moment later, I'd have been run over.

Realizing this, my knees give out, and I collapse onto the street right there.

??? A: Girl... do you have a death wish?

Haruka Nanami: Eh... oh... I... um...

A man in a butler suit with a dark complexion exits the car's driver side and approaches me.

??? A: You have guts to pick a fight with a car belonging to Jinguji Group. Now, what will you do...

??? B: Enough, George! You're scaring her.

The rear door opens, and a long leg slides into view, followed by slim fingers gripping the door frame.

Out steps the beautiful man who'd said those kind words.

He's slim but well-built, with a figure and face like that of a sculpture of a god from Greek mythology. He has the aura of a mature adult, befitting his beauty.

His style of clothing, while informal, looks posh and has the sex appeal of an adult man.

From head to toe, he is perfect. I'm enraptured.

I had no idea a person this beautiful could exist...

George: Hmph, if that is your wish, young master Ren.

Ren Jinguji: This young lady here is just a lost lamb.

Haruka Nanami: ... What?

A... lamb?

If anything, I'd describe myself just now as a small-town girl who failed to watch where she was going as she ran full tilt across a street to avoid being late.

Oh, just now my knees gave out on me and I could be compared to a newborn lamb's trembling legs as it takes its first steps, but…

As I sit there dumbfounded, the man reaches out and takes my hand to pull me up and against his chest.

Ren Jinguji: What a beautiful little lamb.

He sweeps back his long hair as he speaks. Every little action he makes is so perfect I can't look away.

Our eyes meet. He winks at me and his face draws near...

Ren Jinguji: Your legs are shaking. Were you scared?

He scoops me into his arms with ease.

T-this is... is this what they call being carried princess style?!

Ren Jinguji: I wouldn't mind carrying you all the way to school, Lady.

Haruka Nanami: Eh—a-absolutely not! That would be too embarrassing!! Um, I can walk, so, um…!?!

Ren Jinguji: Oh? That's a shame.

He acknowledges my response and sets me down within moments.

Ren Jinguji: Judging by your blush, that was a little too thrilling for you.

Ren Jinguji: I'm Ren Jinguji. What's your name, little lamb?

Haruka Nanami: U-um, I'm...

Just as I'm about to answer him, the alarm on my phone goes off and brings me back to my senses.

Haruka Nanami: Ah! I-I'm so sorry, I need to be going!!

I dip my head in a quick bow of apology and race off towards the academy once more.

Haruka Nanami: If don't run faster, I'm going to be late!

After 15 minutes of running, at last, the school comes into view.

Haruka Nanami: Haaa... haaa... I'm so hot... Where did I put my handkerchief...?

I reach into my pocket for my handkerchief, intending to wipe off the sweat dripping down my face, but...

Haruka Nanami: It's not here!

Where could I have dropped it? I was really fond of that one... But right now, I have to keep running.

Haruka Nanami: I think... I made it in time...!

Now to head for the auditorium... hm? What's that person doing over there? Did they drop something?

A male student is on his hands and knees below a tree by the front gate, apparently searching for something.

A person should do one good deed a day. I'd better help him out...

Haruka Nanami: Are you looking for something...?

Tokiya Ichinose: Yes... I dropped my dorm room key around here.

Haruka Nanami: ...!!!

When he turns around, I'm so shocked I forget to breathe.

Haruka Nanami: Ha- HAY- Haya- HAYATO-SAMA?!!

Tokiya Ichinose: Hm...?

Haruka Nanami: Um, uh, ummm...!

Tokiya Ichinose: Will you please lend me a hand?

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes!!

He looks exactly like HAYATO-sama…

Those cool eyes. That intense, direct gaze. That silky hair.

His hard expression feels a little different from the cheerful and energetic HAYATO-sama's usual aura, but…

His eyes and lashes, his straight nose and the shape of his ears are so alike that I can’t completely believe that he's a different person.

Ack! Now's not the time to be staring! We've got to find that key...

Oh—I saw something sparkle at the base of the tree. Maybe there...?

Haruka Nanami: I knew it...!

I picked up the key and held it out to its owner.

Tokiya Ichinose: Thank you very much.

Even his voice... sounds just like HAYATO-sama's. The tone is a lot calmer than HAYATO-sama's, but it's still a very beautiful, charismatic voice.

Tokiya Ichinose: Hm? Is something the matter?

Haruka Nanami: Ah, um... would you happen to be... HAYATO-sama...?

Tokiya Ichinose: Oh, him... HAYATO is my elder twin brother.

Haruka Nanami: Your... older brother?

I didn't know HAYATO-sama had a younger brother...

Tokiya Ichinose: Being mistaken for him is a regular problem. My name is Tokiya Ichinose. You are?

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Um... are you really someone else?

Tokiya Ichinose: Haaa... You don't believe me? This is a school for aspiring idols, remember?

Haruka Nanami: ... Right.

Tokiya Ichinose: Why would HAYATO, who is currently working as an idol, attend a school like this?

Tokiya Ichinose: Is there any reason for an idol who has already debuted in the entertainment industry to aim for a debut?

Haruka Nanami: ... Um... but... um...

I wind up in a panic.

Even after Ichinose-san's explanation that he is not HAYATO-sama...

...the words ”May I please have your autograph?!” ...

...keep ringing in my head.

Tokiya Ichinose: Let's get going before we're late.

Haruka Nanami: Um... o-okay...

Unable to throw away the thought that he really is HAYATO-sama, I follow after Ichinose-san.

Syo Kurusu: Hup! ... Damn it...! ... Why—can't—I—reach—?!

In front of the auditorium where the entrance ceremony is being held, a boy is jumping beneath a blooming cherry tree.

What a cute little boy. Judging by the fact that his height is about the same as mine, maybe he's a middle schooler?

Wow, such a stylish hairstyle—and those bobby pins are adorable! Middle schoolers these days are quite fashionable, huh?

Even those round, intense eyes are adorable, and I find myself wanting to help him out.

What should I do? Should I call out to him?

Haruka Nanami: Oh...!

I see, his hat is stuck in a tree branch and he can’t reach…

As I approach the boy, a breeze picks up and blows the hat out of the tree, right to me.

I catch the hat and plop it back onto the boy's head. There we go.

Haruka Nanami: Be careful not to lose this again, little boy.

As soon as I say that, a vein pops in the boy’s forehead. I wonder why?

Syo Kurusu: Who're you callin' a little boy?! Listen up, I'm the great Syo Kurusu!

Syo Kurusu: I'm the man who's gonna stand at the peak of Japan's entertainment industry as the number one genius idol! SYO KU-RU-SU-SAMA!

Tokiya Ichinose: ...

Haruka Nanami: Ohhh, really? That's amazing!

Saotome Academy is a one-year school, and applicants must be at least 15 years old.

I wonder if he's the younger brother of a new student?

Maybe he got lost, in which case his older brother or sister will certainly be worried.

I should help him find them.

Syo Kurusu: ... You're making fun of me, aren't you?

Haruka Nanami: I am not. I really think it's an amazing goal when you're still so small, Syo-kun!

Syo Kurusu: Don't call me small! ... I'm 15, seriously...

Haruka Nanami: ... You're what?

Syo Kurusu: I am 15 years old and a student in S Claaaaaaass!!

... Whaaaaat?! I thought for sure he was in middle school, or maybe even elementary school...!

Ren Jinguji: Aha, there you are, Lady. That was awful of you, disappearing on me like that.

All of a sudden I hear Jinguji-san's voice from behind me.

Ren Jinguji: So you're a student here after all. It was pretty easy to tell by your uniform, Haruka Nanami-chan.

Jinguji-san grins at me as he says that.

Haruka Nanami: How... how did you know my name?

Ren Jinguji: How indeed, I wonder?

In a smooth motion, he wraps his arm around my shoulders and his face draws near mine.

Haruka Nanami: U-um, I, uh...!

Ren Jinguji: You dropped your handkerchief, didn't you? These days not many people have their names printed on their handkerchiefs.

Subsequently, he withdraws a handkerchief from his blazer pocket and holds it out to me.

Ren Jinguji: Your shampoo smells lovely. The pure, cute fragrance suits you.

Eek!! He blew on my ear!

It's ticklish and makes me blush and I'm unsure of how to react.

Haruka Nanami: ...!!!

Tokiya Ichinose: Ren, you shouldn't pick on someone whom you've just met so much.

Syo Kurusu: T-that's right! Don't get so full of yourself just 'cause you're a little tall!

Haruka Nanami: Um... are you all acquainted?

Tokiya Ichinose: Yes, somewhat. We met at the school briefing.

Ren Jinguji: Yep, we're all in S Class. That makes us the cream of the crop.

If they're all in S Class then... we're all in the same class...!

Ichinose-san, who looks identical to HAYATO-sama. Jinguji-san, who is as attractive as a model. Syo-kun, who is small and cute.

Each one of them fits right into S Class.

Incredible... I get to spend a whole year with these people!

Aaaall right! I'm going to work harder than anyone else!

Prologue End - Choose your partner!

[glitchtricks94]

Ache

Gyokko x Reader

I feel like crying, so I made him cry too. This is an angst post, hurt/no comfort I am wanting to make him bleed right now and since I can't sort my other fic, this is how we're doing it. Yes, I know I'm just having a bad day but if I'm gonna be sad, I might as well put it to use! Anyways, kick back, relax and enjoy the pain~ -Glitchtricks

He didn't think the ache would be this strong.

He never thought that humans could hold so tightly to a feeling, he thought them to be as fleeting as the clouds in the sky on a warm summer's night. Never once did he expect to miss you so dearly. Gyokko sat at the foot of the lake he found all those nights ago, strange, honeyed eyes staring at the water’s glasslike surface, sorrow washing over him as he looked on. Where he would normally be thinking of ways to cloud the liquid in a myriad of colors, his mind only focused on  the being that had enchanted him so many moons ago, how he had found them on their knees simply gathering water for their own needs. The Upper Moon remembers how wide you smiled at him, kindness blinding you. He remembered how excited you were to simply meet a demon like him, explaining how his kind fascinated you. You were unusual, but not quite unappealing.  He liked that. Your warmth stuck to his mind so annoyingly well, like an ink stain that cannot be removed. Gyokko didn’t think he’d long for it after you were gone. He recalls how for ages, each night, you’d be here, waiting, even calling out for a demon to approach you. Strange, but he supposed your tactics worked as less then a moment later, the Upper Moon Five found himself before you again, a delighted squeal leaving your lips. Gyokko was at a loss when you threw your arms around him, cheering about him coming back to you. He swiftly moved out of your arms, glaring at you. “Don’t touch me like that!” He spat. If only he knew how much he’d miss that familiarity.

Gyokko shook his head when he realized that tears were dripping down his chin, spattering on the vase that held his usual form. No, no he can’t think of you, he can’t lose himself like this, not over a human. He was a being of divinity, of talent and breathtaking skill, a being that…felt empty. So very empty since he saw you last. He clenched his fists, trying to shove away the pain, the agony in favor of rage, resentment. No, he can’t mourn you, you and him were far too different! So why did the bittersweet memory of you guiding him to your home come to mind? That affectionate smile of your beaming at him the entire way as you nattered on about your own life, your own form of art that took shape in the words you scribbled down in empty books and scraps of paper was all he could see, all he could hear. He couldn’t forget that, especially not the joy that you exuded from just showing him the meager poems you wrote. He didn’t know when he had shown up at your abandoned home, looking up at the sad structure from his pot. He knew you weren’t inside, so why did he cruelly hope you’d come out, greet him like you always did? He’d always found himself drawn to your presence after you began discussing a hopeful romantic novel of star crossed lovers, your inspirations being the Shakespearian tragedy of Romeo and Juilet. You had many inspiring ideas, ones Gyokko would take back to his own sanctuary to create his own art from. The way your eyes lit up when he first presented a vase to you, painted with the silhouettes of the lovers from your story was etched into his demonic heart. You were practically screaming with utter delight at the gift, being the most enthusiastic person to ever accept such a thing from him. Not even the ever so carefree Douma had ever come close to emulating such joy, however, yours could never be emulated, you were far too genuine for such a thing. Your scent still clung to each corner of your home, despite months having passed. Gyokko felt a pain in his chest as he wandered through your home, the memories of your sweetness tormenting his brain wherever he looked, the lights that used to illuminate the halls and rooms now like that of a fleeting dream. Changing to his true form, Gyokko found it easier for himself to get lost in everything that was encasing his senses. Looking to the ground, he saw one of the many bits of scrap paper you used to write your poems of love and infatuation upon, still stained with splotches of ink. He couldn’t resist, he was always weak for you. Plucking it from the floor, he began to read. “Stepping through the mist, like midnight’s spell

He afforded no opportunities to fleeHer mind was encapsulated by him, her heart his to control

Fate so harsh on the pair, he was ripped away

The tides of time carried the maiden far As night always intertwined with day.” Tears settled on the paper in his webbed hands, sorrow crashing into him at full force. Was this how you viewed him and yourself? He wished he could ask such a thing, he wished he could just hear that sweet, fluttery voice of yours just one more time, to hear you prattle on about why you chose the words you did, how you planned your tales. He just wanted you back. Gyokko carefully traced the kanji of your handwriting, your name falling from his lips in a whisper, soft and desperate. Part of him wished you’d appear before him, lovingly wrapping your arms around his large frame with a joyous titter. Wishful thinking. Slithering deeper into your home, your scent grew stronger as he reached your bedroom, which remained empty, and well kept, thanks to the care he found himself putting into the place. It was almost like a monument to you now, a tribute of sorts, perhaps even a way to say sorry despite you having vanished out of his life forever. Another wave of agonizing sadness filled the demon’s chest as he moved to your large, western style bed, a stack of old journals laying at its side. Gyokko got onto the bed, coiling around himself as the smell of you flooded his senses, new tears cascading down his face as the more painful memories began replaying in his mind like they always did on nights like this. The cruel words he spewed at you, the tears that flooded down your soft cheeks, the look of utter betrayal in your eyes as he brought down the hammer of his misguided wrath upon you, tearing away at everything you loved, everything you cherished. He remembers ripping up your pride and joy that was your novel, screaming at you about how you were nothing but a sniveling worm, how he couldn’t understand why he wasted his time with someone like you, and overall just ripping your heart to ribbons. Your pain screams still rang in his ears as you cried out, yelling at him to leave, leave and never come back, how cruel he was to you after you simply wanted to connect, how you thought you had connected with him, forging a friendship of sorts. All of it filled Gyokko with so much sorrow and regret. He never meant any of what he said, he truly would even go as far to say he didn’t wish to break your spirit like that, not when you managed to become so much to him, not even batting an eye whenever he’d appear after feeding, fresh blood staining both sets of teeth. No, you always welcomed him with open arms, telling him your stories, speaking to him enthusiastically and listening to him so intently. And he just drove you away after everything. He couldn’t stop himself from beginning to sob as everything replayed in his mind, bowing his head in shame and regret. “My sweet muse, I’m sorry…” He wept, shoulders shaking, chest aching in his remorse. “I never meant to say such things to you, you were never a worm, you were a goddess, something as divine as I…And yet, I ripped you apart…My heart, please let me apologize, please come back, please. Every moment without you is pure agony.” He pleaded, voice now breaking as he sobbed harder, knowing that you would never hear his pleas, knowing that you had vanished from his world. Gyokko was left alone, aching for you, longing for your sweet touches and honeyed praises. All he saw when he closed his eyes was your smile, and it burned him like fire. All he heard in the silence were the memories of your voice, which stung like a slice of a sword. Everything about you that was left behind tormented him mercilessly. Deep down, he knew he had earned this, he had earned such a drastic loss. Everything was dreary for him, nothing truly sparked his enthrall anymore, nothing that didn’t feel like you would have liked. The ache in his chest would never leave, for you had carved a hole in his heart, leaving a chasm that can never be filled.

[maochira]

Confession (Keiji Togashi x reader)

My first Ao Ashi x reader!!

Tags: gn!reader, reader is an artist, no manga spoilers (basically this is in the middle of season 1), Aoi and Otomo appear as well, not proofread

You've been Togashi's classmate for months now, and at first, he intimidated you and you didn't care much for him. But your friends often dragged you along to watch Team B's matches and you found yourself focusing on Togashi the most out of all the players. And as time passed on, you found yourself feeling excited whenever you saw him walking onto the field and even more when you got to see him in school every day. It really didn't take much longer until you developed a crush on the defender, despite the fact that you've never talked to him properly and you're pretty sure he doesn't even know your name.

And at some point, not only did you find yourself watching his matches, but you also started coming to watch Team B's practices if you had the time to. As an excuse to have a reason to go, you always brought your sketchbook along to sketch the players to practice dynamic poses. You really tried your best to draw all of them, but then found yourself drawing Togashi the most - even though his hair is always hard to figure out.

And of course, your friends quickly picked up on the fact that you have a crush on him and keep teasing you about it because they want you to confess to him. But you're so sure Togashi still doesn't know who you are, even though he notices how often you come to watch him at practice and matches. He's wondered about it for a while, but always shrugged it off as you being a fan.

Because of your friend's teasing, you had to promise that you'll confess one day. You said it'll be when your sketchbook is full because that usually takes you a while. Just with this particular one, you didn't even realize how much faster you're filling it because you've been using it a lot more since you started drawing at Team B's practices.

Today is like any other - you came to watch Team B at practice and draw while you're at it. And suddenly, you're on the last page of your sketchbook. You're already dreading drawing on it because you know as soon as you do, it'll mean you have to tell Togashi about your feelings. You promised it to your friends. There's no going back.

As much as you're dreading this moment, you're waiting at the exit of the training field to watch out for Togashi. Many of his teammates leave and barely any of them look at you, but the moment Togashi approaches the exit accompanied by Aoi and Otomo, all of them recognize you instantly.

"Isn't that (Y/N)?" You hear Aoi saying from a bit of a distance, but you can't figure out what Otomo answers him. Togashi doesn't seem to have any reaction to your presence. Maybe he really doesn't know who you are?

For a moment, you debate with yourself to just leave and act as if nothing ever happened. But then Aoi runs up to you and is about to greet you. Although, before he gets to say something you force your sketchbook into his hands. "Give this to Togashi-" You tell him quickly before running away as fast as you can.

All three boys are equally confused and look after you, especially Aoi. He looks down at the sketchbook you just put into his hands as your words repeat in his head, so he hands it over to Togashi.

"What is this?" He asks in a tone that sounds a little irritated. He doesn't understand why you ran away so quickly.

"I don't know. They told me to give it to you," Aoi shrugs, "Look into it."

Otomo already knows where this is going. He saw the obvious blush on your face when you gave your sketchbook to Aoi. Otomo curses Togashi in his head for getting a confession before he did.

As they continue walking back to their dorms, Togashi flips through the sketchbook. "I don't get it..." He mumbles as he flips through the mix of your personal art and all the sketches you made while watching Team B's practices. He notices very quickly that he was drawn the most. He opens his mouth to say something else, but not only his voice but also his steps stop when he reads what you wrote on the last page.

"I like you. A lot."

[revanchistsuperstar]

holy hell, have I just had the throwback of a lifetime. dude, way on back when I was a confused unhappy little early-pubescent grub (11-14), I was obsessed with cosplay (still am) and would spend time religiously trawling deviantart and tumblr for crossplay advice, ways to bind and masculinize my face and walk and talk and comport myself more masculinely. I kept saying it was for character accuracy, but of course, there was more to it than that.

to shorten it all up, this tutorial of yours https://www.tumblr.com/revanchistsuperstar/70647041474/new-and-improved-ftm-crossplay-tutorial-if-you?source=share came up on my pinterest earlier and threw me back, after not seeing it for years now. I didn't even remember you were from middle tennessee! I googled the title of the tutorial to see if I could find the OG post, and was so glad to see you're still active on this account so many years later.

I just wanted to tell you that that tutorial was very impactful for me as a fellow southern queer kid. while I never did figure out how to make it work on my chubby, puffy little child face at the time (have gotten a bit better at makeup lately, still no pro but certainly better,) it was something to aspire to, and it was something that got me through a lot of waiting and confusion and self-discovery, knowing I *could* look like a man eventually, whatever that meant for me.

thank you for posting your tutorials online. I'm sure I'm not the only queer kid you've helped simply by being out and proud, but I wanted to tell you personally about how much you helped me survive puberty, the aspirations of passing, or at least being happy in myself regardless. I finally fully accepted myself at the end of last year, and came out to my parents early this year. It's been a lot to cope with, but life feels more promising now that I'm not hiding, and that I can seek medical transition knowing myself.

again, thank you so much for posting your tutorials. your pride has positively impacted me, and no doubt many others. I truly hope you've been well this past decade, and may the future remain bright for you. <3

Holy shit! Well way to go, and best of luck!

That tutorial is over 10 years old, that’s wild.

Believe it or not, I had my gender in no way figured out whatsoever when I was posting those, took me forever to realize what I had going on. I’ve been out as trans of some sort since 2011, but I only came out as a gay trans man and started medically transitioning a little over a year and a half ago.

But yeah I’ve been doing drag now for about 13 years! Vastly improved since the DeviantArt days lol. I now work professionally as a hair and makeup artist for stage and occasionally screen, so that’s what over a decade of plugging away at something can get you.

Glad the tutorial was helpful for you, being that it was one of the only masculinizing makeup tutorials out there on the internet at the time that I made it, its had pretty far reaching effects. Recently I’d been settling in to realizing that even though I’m only in my 30s, because I started drag in my teens I’m now becoming an elder of the drag king art form and as my co-producer from my drag troupe put it, I’m the Velvet Underground of drag kings. 🤣 But I’m glad it helped with your gender feels too!

Keep on keeping on!

[didiwaffles]

good lore, good lore.. i absolutely adore multiverses and immortals having arguments that last millions of years! this is so awesome

now that i know who devi is, i want to circle back and ask a bit more about eva

what were her lives before rebirth? how was she even made? what powers did she have?

thanks you for answering my silly questions about your characters 🙏

- void anon

It's such a pleasure to me I can do it all day if you let me

Actually, we do not need to circle back for that, we can just move forward from where I stopped the last time. Before we move on to Eva, I need to establish a few things that led to her birth.

There's a few things that happened in about a few hundred thousands to a million of years between the moment the Monster was sealed and when Devi left Afiar.

As I mentioned, she created 5 Elemental Spirits who went on to restore the world.

Amenir - the Spirit of Air - created a flying castle made of air for Devi.

Devi resqued Emi - a girl who lost everyone she ever knew as well as everyone of her race to the Monster's awakening.

Next few hundred years Emi spent in a hybernation, after which she went on to restore her kind and with time created an army of soldiers devoted to serving Devi. (Not like Devi was a huge fan of that at first, but she let Emi and the others do whatever they wanted.)

Devi made continuous efforts to change Darinir's mind about herself, but it was in vain.

Whenever she could, she spent her time helping people in need, protecting the weak, and fighting off anyone who posed a threat.

The rest of the time she spent on her own, with time creating two other Spirits - Rudy (the Spirit of Time - or rather a tiny fluffy fox squirrel) and Nirali (the Spirit of Art and everything that falls under the category of talent and inspiration) to keep her company. They will become the closest to her, and will remain by her side even when she will have many other friends in the future.

With time, Devi became quite bored of this routine. So she thought of something fun to do. Since she didn't remember ever having a childhood, she wanted to experience that for herself. She didn't consult anyone on that - not her mother, not her enemies, not her children. She just put Emi before the fact - she was going to be reborn as a human child in some other world. She took Nirali with her, merging their souls together so she'd always be by Devi's side, while left Rudy behind. It wasn't meant to take long. After all she intended to come back once she was 20 or something.

Thousands of years passed. She never returned. Everyone looked for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Obviously something went wrong.

In the preparation to be reborn, Devi left her body and her soul traveled around the universe, in search of a good place to reborn in. Now, remember I mentioned that a piece of Afiar that flew out when the Monster awakened would form into a separate world that would go on to create an anomaly zone? Devi accidentally flew by and got caught up in it. It did quite a few things.

First, it suppressed her power. She was no longer in control of what was happening.

Then, when she was trying to fight it, her mind fractured and split her personality into 3 parts. One was the "Devi of Light" (I'm using such a wording intentionally, she's not the "good" and the other one is not the "bad" Devi, that matters), Rodari, who inherited Devi's wings, which became white with her. The other one was the "Devi of Darkness", Diano, who took the crack from Devi's eye. The third one was Devi herself, what was left of her.

As the result, she lost her memories once again.

As she was reborn, luckily to Devi, everyone inside of her - Diano, Rodari, the Monster, and even Nirali - were put into slumber. Nirali would wake up rather quickly though, but would realize she's trapped inside of Devi's mind, who didn't remember anything and was just like an actual human child.

As Devi grew up, she would often end up creating fantasies in her head. Between toxic family relationships, having no friends, and stressful school stuff, it was her only gateway. There was only one problem. The anomaly did drain all the magic it came in contact with, but what it also did was it made the fantasy of people inside the world affect the rest of the universe. Characters from the books were coming alive in a newly born world somewhere far away, far from the reach of its creator. But that was even more true for Devi. Because even though she lost her memory, she didn't lose her power, and even though it was constantly drained, that wasn't enough to rid of it completely. And the fact that Devi didn't know it existed didn't mean she wasn't using it unconsciously. So, unbeknownst to her, her fantasies were affecting the entire universe. Everything she were thinking about was coming true outside the anomaly. And not only did she affect the future, she also affected the past. She created the fates of people... who she already met. But she didn't remember them. I'm talking about Ula and Lana. She crafted a story of their lives... that she already knew. Just didn't remember. But those two weren't the only ones. There were 7 people she affected directly, and many more - indirectly. One of those 7 was Riam.

I already went on a big enough of a tangent, so I will skip laying out Devi and Riam's relationship. What matters is Devi heavily influenced his very existence, but some stuff remain hidden even from her. Eventually, she got caught up in her own fantasies so badly, that she completely fell in love with her own mind's creation - that is to say, Riam. So one evening when she was especially lonely, she unconsciously completely overpowered the anomaly and just teleported Riam to herself.

Again I will not go into the details of their relationships now, what matters is they fell in love, and after figuring out that finding out how to get out of the world they both ended in might take a bit, they eventually married. And during their honeymoon, Devi got pregnant.

That's how Eva was born.

Now, I will shift to her story.

When Eva was born, Nirali - who was practically her older sister - planted a kiss on her forehead. Being the Spirit, what that did was it blessed Eva with extraordinary talent. Combined with her father's genes, Eva developed extremely quickly. By one year old she could already read with no problems, and by three she could solve simple math problems. When she went to school, she was far ahead of her peers, and what ended up happening is that she would be let to do whatever she wanted in class, as long as she aced all her tests. And of course she did. Devi also made sure Eva had several tutors who would teach her in accordance to her level of development. Once Eva was a bit older, she agreed that it was better than shoving her in the higher grades with more grown up kids or depriving her of socialization by tutoring her at home. As for changing schools into a more advanced one, Devi debated doing that... But there was one slight problem with that.

When Eva was 6, she got two twin little brothers.

As they were growing up, they looked and acted absolutely identical to each other. Even their own parents couldn't tell them apart when they were in matching closes. For some reason, Eva was the only one who could always tell them apart. Consequentially, she was the only one that could put a stop on their twin antics.

But fast forward to the time Eva would go on to graduate. Even though no one doubted her ability to ace the final exam, that was still pretty stressful, and the stress only multiplied with what was happening at home.

After almost 20 years of searching and trying everything she could even think of, Devi finally was able to create a portal out of the world they were in. Funnily enough, it came to her in a dream. She tried her best to replicate it, but she must've messed it up in several places because the portal barely opened. But that was enough for something to grab Riam and shove him inside, after which it closed immediately. At first Devi was incredibly happy. She tried to achieve that for so long! But slowly her happiness faded as she came to the realization, "...But what about me..?"

Devi quickly spiraled down into a deep depression, and Eva had to choose between staying by her side to help her through it and preparing for her own exams, while also taking care of her brothers. But she managed through it and successfully passed her final exam. And when she came back to share the news...

Devi's pain was so unbearable that she unconsciously tore through the fabric of reality, completely overpowering the anomaly, and creating a portal. But when the answer was right before her, she hesitated. She couldn't just go in and leave her children behind. At the same time, they had their own lives and aspirations, Eva was almost an adult, with Paul and Pete already being teens. Forcing them down the path she wanted to go didn't feel right either. But they still needed to be taken care of, she couldn't just abandon them. But she couldn't stay either, not when she had that chance, she would go on to regret it for the rest of her life.

That's where Eva found her when she returned home. And she didn't need any words to understand what was going on. Then, she encouraged Devi to leave them and go, promising that she'll take care of the boys, and when they will be ready, they will somehow find a way to find her. She didn't really think that far ahead, she just knew that if her mom stayed, she'd be deeply unhappy. Devi didn't have time to think for too long, and just before the portal closed, she went into it.

But the task that Eva assumed upon herself was not an easy one. By then, the twins who used to be indistinguishable started showing signs of separating into two completely different people, and losing both of their parents made them develop completely different personalities.

Much like Eva, Paul understood mother's decision. He trusted both Devi and Eva with their decisions. But Pete... He didn't take it well at all. He was angry. Angry that his parents abandoned him, and he vented his frustration on none other than Eva. He criticized her cooking, comparing to how Devi used to do it, he criticized her for not having a job, despite them not having problems with money, criticized her for not cleaning the house. Eva understood his frustration so she didn't stop him, but Paul wasn't taking that, and the two of them were constantly fighting over everything now. But Paul understood that Eva also wasn't all that happy that Devi left, and with the university she just got in on top of that, the last thing she needed was chores and quarrels at home. He tried to do everything he could, but Pete was just making everything more difficult than it needed to be.

That went on until both boys hit 15. By then, both of them knew what they wanted to do in life. Pete has decided to be a professional musician, and as soon as he could, he left to study in the music college, making sure he let it be known that he doesn't want anything to do with his family anymore. By that time Eva went on to study for her future master's degree in chemistry. As for Paul, he had an obsession of his own. All he wanted was to protect Eva. So he went on his own path, going to the military academy.

Now that I laid out the kinda dynamic the three have and what they've been doing with their lives, I'll quickly go through the rest that happened there.

Eva graduated with the master's degree in chemistry, and went on to own her own lab where she started working on finding something that could create a portal so they could reunite with their parents.

Paul graduated the college and went on to serve in the military.

After that he went on to the military university and studied there in the air force department.

Sometimes they would do street patrols, and in one of such days Paul happened to pass by Eva's lab. He immediately noticed something was wrong. By a pure coincidence, exactly at the time he was passing through there, something went array in the lab, and just a moment after Paul thought something was off, there was a massive explosion. Eva was inside.

By an order of their captain, cadets helped evacuate people, but Paul was concerned since he couldn't find Eva. Eventually the fire got too strong, and Paul disobeyed orders completely and went inside.

Eva made sure everyone was evacuated, but by that time she inhaled too much toxins and passed out in the fire. Paul got to her in time to grab her and jump out of the window before there was another massive explosion that would've killed them both.

They both were sent to ER. Paul suffered from mild intoxication, light burns, and he also sprained his ankle when landing. Eva suffered much more heavily. She fell into a coma.

For more than a year Eva remained unconscious, and Paul made sure to stay by her side at all cost. His studying was paused for as long as he needed. Eventually, Eva woke up. Paul held a huge grudge against Pete for not showing up even once.

Paul would go on to finish the university, and Eva continued working on her research. They barely saw each other, and as soon as Paul graduated he was mobilized as a war broke right about that time.

He went on to pilot a fighter jet on the front lines, and nearly died. His body was never found, and he was declared missing.

Eva was going crazy worrying about him, while Pete as always showed miracles of compassion and care, just shy of celebrating his brother's death.

Paul survived though and returned home on his own two. He would be later awarded a medal since his feat practically turned the tide of the war.

Once the war was over, Paul didn't retire, instead he went on to be Eva's personal bodyguard. He ensured the lab's safety and protected her when she was awarded for her achievements in the field of chemistry.

Eventually, she achieved her goal. She created an essence that could turn a mirror into a portal. She couldn't control the destination, but it could bypass the anomaly's borders, and they could figure it out from there. Pete refused to go with them, but Eva left an extra bottle of that essence for him if he ever changed his mind.

From then on, Eva and Paul quickly reunited with Devi, and found out it's been many thousand years for her. At that point in time, Devi still hadn't recovered her memory, but she was already pretty strong.

A whole new world was open before them. For Paul it was simple - she went wherever Eva went. And Eva went everywhere - she wanted to try everything. Eventually she settled on two things. First, she became a succubus. And second, she became obsessed with fighting. She used to fight as a child, and seeing her mom being strong and beautiful, she wanted to be just as strong as her.

Eva made good progress, quickly becoming third strongest person in the universe - right after her parents (though it's questionable who made that list to begin with.) And then it happened.

As I mentioned before, Devi had a lot on her shoulders. Not remembering her past, she already defeated one enemy, and another one showed up right after, and she didn't even know why they were so determined to kill her. The truth was those two were sent after her... by her own mother.

Anorava gave them a fraction of her power and wanted one thing in exchange - find Devi and do anything they had to but restore her memories. But Darkness was a wicked power, and given to those who were too weak, it corrupted their minds. And Alphonse completely forgot what was the reason he was fighting Devi - but unable to overpower her it seeded a deep hatred for her in his heart.

Alas, Devi was oblivious to this. She was just tired. She already suffered one heartbreak, and another one that shattered her soul in pieces completely, and she barely was able to recover. She thought that if Alphonse was so determined to kill her then if she died he'll rest easy. So she left the protection of the universe to Eva, and went to Heavens.

First of all, she got bored really quickly there. She did have her rest, but quickly realized that she would absolutely dread spending an eternity there.

But that was the least of her problems. Because there was someone who really didn't like her being dead, aside from her friends.

Eva thought she was ready to face any opponent, but she was absolutely unprepared for how wicked and insane Alphonse was. He didn't want Devi dead. No, he wanted to kill her. And surely Devi will come back if he hurts something really precious to her. And he knew nothing was more precious to her than her family.

All he did was he burned Eva's eyes out. Completely. Along with her eyelids. The pain was so agonizing that Eva's own scream ruptured her eardrums, and after a while she lost her voice too. She would regain her voice eventually, but never - ears and eyes. And as if that wasn't enough, he branded Eva's soul. That way, even if she somehow managed to restore her eyes, she was destined to lose them. Again, and again, and again. No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, she could return her speech, even her ears - with enough miracle - but never her eyes. Not for long at least.

To say that Devi was mad - to say nothing. She was furious, and also hurt. She would never stop blaming herself for what happened to Eva. And she was incredibly angry. Alphonse achieved his goal - Devi returned to the world of the living. But contrary to his expectations she didn't go on to fight him - first thing she did was making sure Eva wasn't going to do anything to herself.

When all that happened, Eva was left completely alone in the darkness. Saw nothing, heard nothing, only felt pain. Wanted to cry but tears wouldn't come out. She even forgot there was an enemy in front of her - not like he cared about her at all.

But soon enough she felt first touch. Someone grabbed her by the shoulders and slightly shook. She instinctively recoiled, and the touch stopped. Recognized it clearly wasn't an enemy, she reached forward and grabbed the shirt. Big warm hand gently laid over her hand. She skimmed through everyone she knew to figure out who that hand belong to. Figured out it can't be anyone but Paul, she relaxed.

Only when she lost her most important senses did she truly come to appreciate how much Paul cared about her. He carried her home, treated her injuries, applied bandages, and held her hand as she fell asleep. In the situation where she lost everything - he was the sunshine in the complete darkness that she needed to not give up completely. And then Devi came right into her mind, making her feel like the world around her still existed, like it was not all destroyed when she lost her senses.

Devi made sure Eva was still mentally stable, and went on helping her learn how to stop relying on her eyes and ears to live. Not like Devi knew how to. She had to bullshit her way through it, learning herself as she went. Because she knew that if she doesn't, she might lose Eva.

Thanks to her efforts, pretty quickly Eva became much more aware of her surroundings. She became more sensitive to smells, vibrations, and touch. The latter was also making her feel pain more strongly. Her voice slowly returned, a bit hoarse, but she could speak, though couldn't hear herself. Gradually she learned to identify the energy flow around her and translate it into a complete picture inside her head. And in next millions of years of practice she would even go as far as to be able to decipher the sound vibrations and understand speech without actually hearing it. Being forced in such a situation made her a true master of "seeing without eyes, hearing without ears", even Devi could not reach her level of mastery.

Devi tried everything she could to return Eva's eyes and ears. And if with ears it went well, Eva always lost her eyes, one way or another, no matter what, and then always decided to rid of ears to, just because she was used to get by without both. But no matter how much times she said that that's how she prefers it, deep inside she knew she wanted to be able to see. Even if the truth was that without eyes and ears she was stronger than with them, she was willing to trade that for the ability to see her mother, her brother... and of course, her son.

But that was not all. Because even after Alphonse was defeated and gone seemingly forever, he kept living in Devi's, and especially so in Eva's nightmares.

[chaoticrobotics]

Please don't rush your comics take it slow and steady I know many people are eager to see more from your comics but please don't forget your human you need to take breaks from time to time art burnout isn't a joke I myself was once a artist and i quit that because it didn't bring me much joy anymore because of excessive burnout so please from one artist to another Take a breather maybe plan what your gonna do for the story going forward maybe take some inspiration from the game or something though whatever the outcome I will honor it.

Oh don't worry about the story itself. I have it all planned out and am absolutely not changing it (other than possible dialogue changes, I have the major plot points all set though). So that's not the issue.

It was the actual art itself. You are right, art burnout isn't a joke, and honestly I'm pretty sure I've never been closer to quitting art than when I was making Security Alert. The only difference with me is, art is one of the very few things that bring me any sense of joy. It's literally either a select few video games, or making art/stories, and at the time of making Security Alert I was in a video game burnout too and struggling through college.

All of that built up to make me miserable to draw and probably super depressed looking back at it (though I wouldn't hit a true low until my last semester, if I was still trying to do the comic then I don't think I would have made it).

Anyway, thank you for your words. I do appreciate them! I am going to take my time with this comic. Maybe even try out a different format or something. Smaller parts or less detail in the art. I just want to get the story out, and since I am not a writer, I have to draw it. But I'll definitely be taking my time when drawing it.

I'll be honest, I don't know how many people might have realized it, but I am a serial procrastinator that needs deadlines to get shit done, and I get stuff done all in one go or not at all. So all those big parts I posted? Those were all done in basically one sitting. Some of them were done in 3 days with me getting a total of like 3-4 hours of sleep on the weekend, not even counting the editing I did for videos. So you can probably see why I started to resent the comic and start to burn out from it.

I'm literally just rambling now, but I wanted people to know a little bit about what I went through since I know not everyone will be as understanding as you or other people who have sent in kind words to me in the past. I've learned my lesson then, and since I am not in college anymore, I won't feel rushed to get things out before the weekend is done or be rushing myself to make people happy.

It honestly all really sucks because I was always so happy to post the comic/tiktok and pass out finally, then to wake up to a flood of nice messages. But it would all too soon go away because only a day (sometimes not even) after posting people would be demanding the next part. It just sucks since I did have fun a lot, but also had that fun drained away just as quickly.

I don't even know what I am trying to say anymore. Thank you for the nice words. I will keep to my word about not rushing myself or pushing myself too much. I do feel like I am, at some point, going to try doing what I did before and pull all nighters and fuck up my sleep schedule drastically, but I'm hoping I will recognize the signs this time and take a step back once I possibly start doing that.

So don't be upset (saying this to the general audience/whoever reading this, not specifically you) if at some point in the future, if the comic does continue, that there might be another hiatus. Will definitely try not to go on a basically year long hiatus like I did last time, but depending on how my mental state is, it might be a pretty long one.

[threshasketch]

Wow, so apparently today is the 8th anniversary of me starting this art blog. I started Threshasketch in the September of 2015, and my main blog the year before in June.

In that time, I've gone through drawing OCs, fanart for numerous fandoms, traditional style line work and pencil sketches, digital line work and coloring, painting photo-real style, and so, so many chibi art pieces. Art has been my rock through some really hard times in my life. Posting cute chibis to brighten somebody else's day helped brighten mine.

Since 2015, my country has gone through three different presidencies, the world has gone through (and is still quietly going through) a global pandemic, and I've gone through years of struggling. Most of that struggling has been in the past 5 years, but boy does 5 years sound like a lot of time to be struggling for basic living things like heat and food.

Things were really bad just a few years ago. At one point I only had electricity four hours per day, because I couldn't afford gas for the generator. I uploaded digital art because "scanning" (taking pics of on my phone) traditional line art was hard when the place I was living was so dark. Patreon and art commissions were the only reason I had money for food on many occasions.

I've had to move three different times in the past four years. I got rid of or lost a lot of my belongings to live in a small space. Had to deal with rats in my living space twice in as many years. Had to take my 23-year-old cat to the vet to pass peacefully AND help my parents take their little dog with heart failure to the vet to pass peacefully in the same year.

Did I mention I had major abdominal surgery this summer with months of recovery time? Yeah. That actually went really smoothly. I didn't realize how bad my health was getting for the past few years because it was a gradual problem, but I was exhausted all the time, unable to do much physical activity, and super anemic. Just passed the two month mark since surgery, and am feeling so much better it's shocking remembering how bad off I was before. Cripes, I should have done this years ago.

So why, if art has been a coping method for me, has this blog had barely any updates for years? Well, I overextended myself on art commissions, which made my art escapism into a pressure thing. It's nobody's fault but my own, but several of those commissions did not get finished, and that made art into a guilty thing, so I sort of...shut myself down on Tumblr, because drawing for fun seemed wrong when somebody was waiting on me to finish their art piece. So I stopped drawing at all for a long while. That helped nobody—it just made it so that I wasn't warmed up enough to draw the commissions, either.

I'm just now getting to where I'm financially able to reach out to the people who paid me for commissions and refund them. I've refunded several already. If you are one of my art commission customers, you'll be hearing from me, I promise. I haven't forgotten you, I have every commission I ever took in a list saved on my computer.

Speaking of financially able, I'm no longer supporting myself with art and Patreon alone. For most of The Pandemic Years I've been pouring all of my creative energy into becoming a full-time indie erotica author. I write my own stories, I paint my own covers, I do everything myself. It's the most fun job I've ever had, honestly, and it's paying my bills. ♥

I've managed to build it up into a monthly income somehow, and this winter is looking a lot less terrible than last winter. In general, my living situation is now stable, the roof doesn't leak, the lights all work, hell I even have a functioning shower and the ability to have running hot water.

Anyway, yeah. It's been a rough go of it, and this art blog has been around through it all. I got a new art tablet for my birthday, and drawing feels like being carefree again. Here's to many more years of art. ♥

[casspurrjoybell-22]

The Art of Sin - Chapter 14 - Part 2

•Ire Byakko (Kitsune)

*Warning Adult Content*

"Well. I guess I'll leave you to your thing."

I looked at Ire with a grin, my eyes sparkling as I itched to try everything out.

He gave me a quick peck.

"Can't wait to see what you make."

With that I was left alone, the room staying lit .

For about an hour I just walked around, accessing what I had to work with.

Ire wasn't lying when he said Lord Nikoli stocked it with everything you could imagine.

It was all the highest quality too.

Just thinking about how much it all cost made me almost afraid to touch any of it.

I ended up just grabbing a sketchpad and filling a pencil case with pencils, pens, and erasers.

My things in hand, I went up to the loft area, already brainstorming what I wanted to draw.

The first few pages of the sketchpad was for the soul purpose of trying out the pencils and pens, my hand quickly remembering the feel of them in my hand.

The lines flowing easily and putting the images in my mind on paper.

Time flew as I lost myself in the art.

Sketchpad after sketchpad was filled.

I drew everything from creatures, magical and non-magical alike, to nature.

It wasn't lost on me that many of the drawings were of people, a certain group that I've grown close to.

I couldn't help myself though.

Thoughts of them filled my mind.

I stepped off the side of the loft, landing with ease.

With an idea in mind, I made my way towards the canvases.

Grabbing one that was about 5 x 5 1/2 foot, I went to find a easel.

After setting them up in the loft, I went back for the rest of what I needed.

I literally trembled with excitement as everything was in front of me.

I knew exactly what I wanted to paint.

It was as if it was already there and I was just uncovering it.

The colors moved and blended exactly as they were supposed to.

My hand didn't waver as the paintbrush moved across the canvas, slowly but surely putting together the scene in my head.

I didn't know how long I was there.

I didn't leave, not even to eat.

It wasn't like I needed to anyway, enough power had accumulated over my time here that I could last quite awhile.

I barely slept, taking only quick naps, the room providing a small cot next to the door.

It also provided a small bathroom.

I'd fallen asleep, not realizing and was awaken by someone shaking me.

I tried blinking away my tiredness.

Unable to focus enough, I made a shooing gesture, mumbling to whoever it was to give me five minutes and not to go up to the loft.

I didn't know if they understood or if I was speaking coherently because sleep quickly overtook me.

When I woke up next, it was the sound of voices.

I tried my best to ignore them but the more they spoke the farther the possibility of falling back to sleep seemed to be.

"Come on. I wanna see."

"No. Winter said not to."

"But..."

"No. If he didn't want us to see, then we can't. Plus he's sleeping."

"Well let's just wake him up."

"No need. I'm already awake," I said with a groan.

Sitting up, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and then took in the sight in front of me.

Surprisingly, the others were there.

Lycus and Ire stood beside Tate who kneeled next to the cot.

Noir was behind them as well as Bain.

I noticed that Keon was blocking the stairs leading up to the loft with an annoyed looking Blue in front of him, hands on his hips.

I stood up, wobbling slightly before I sluggishly walked past everyone and up to the loft.

I knew the others were following, there footsteps and excited chatter echoing behind me.

I didn't remember much of what happened after I started painting, vaguely recalling my actions.

I didn't even know what time it was.

More than a day couldn't have passed since everyone were still wearing the same clothes.

My clothes, as well as skin and hair, were a mess of paint.

I stopped in front of the sheet covered canvas, pausing once before reaching for the sheet.

I didn't recall when I finished but I remember how great it felt when I crashed, the cot feeling like a cloud.

Releasing a deep breath, I rugged on the sheet and let it pool onto the floor.

I barely noticed the gasps that came behind me, I was too focused on what was in front of me.

I was honestly shocked.

It was a painting of the weeping willow in front of the manor.

Beneath it were the people who've laid claim to my thoughts.

We stood beneath the tree, light streaming between the leaves.

Each person had a smile on their face, even Keon though it was small.

He and Bain stood on either side of Lord Nikoli who had a happy and loving look on his face as he stood tall and proud behind his family.

Lycus grinned as he leaned against Bain who looked down at him, amused.

Tate smiled brightly as he looked up at Keon with Ire on one side of him, grinning mischievously at me.

I had painted myself between Noir and Tate, Blue smirking as he stood in front of me.

Noir smiled as he glanced at Tate and Keon, joy in his eyes.

I even added Xyrin, the demon cat.

He looked on from the background, his eyes shining with intelligence.

As for myself, I wore an expression I could only describe as contentment.

A soft smile gracing my lips as I looked straight ahead, my eyes full of life that was only gained by coming here.

I felt grateful, grateful that life had lead me to these people.

"It's beautiful," Noir whispered, amazement evident in his voice.

I nodded, thinking less of the painting and more of the people on it.

'Yes. My family is beautiful.'

[a-erea]

On seeing my parents again

I was finally able to take my paid vacation and decided I wanted to see my parents and get some art supplies while at it cuz they're better quality and less expensive over here. I had seen my parents briefly before but I was always in a rush and generally not feeling great and idk... I just felt ashamed of the mess I was and still am I guess. My parents are sweet af they just want to be a part of my life again but I couldn't stop feeling the pile of shit emotions pent up and having them near me just triggered old wounds, specially if my sisters were around as well. But I feel so different now... I just feel more capable, more grown, stronger...I've pulled myself out of really scary suicidal thoughts and I've let myself feel the pain, I don't want to fight anymore. Surrendering feels good. Sweet sweet release. I know I still have a long way to go. But now I know more. Dare I say I'm wiser ? .... I hope so....

I spent a whole day with my dad and not once did it feel weird! haha. I didn't think I would get to have a good relationship with him for the longest time. We fell out since I was 13-14, and before then he wasn't really present, so as I grew older he just felt like a stranger that gave me money. I wonder how much I've hurt him. He was so happy we got to spend time together. I felt so much love for him . He's very kind and giving. He's THE MAN ! He had to endure so many challenges so many things kids shouldn't go through and yet he's so sweet. I used to only remember his anger, I know he like me had to suppress it and he had to release it... my sister and my mom took most of it. It was scary at times. But everything changes for the better, no storm will last forever... God loves u and will reward u as long as u let him in ur heart.

Mom is just insane. I mean it in the best of ways lol. It is so crazy how much faith a woman can have. She's so devoted, and I've realized this is the best gift she could pass on to me. Even if our spiritual views may seem irreconcilable they're really not, and she's a lot more respectful about it than before. We saw that crazy movie about the Chinese woman that hopped to different universes and she liked it! Didn't say anything about the lesbians lol She made fish tacos and they were *chef's kiss* the best. I admire how much effort and love she puts into everything, the food, the house, she even started writing her own prayers! isn't that cool?

In conclusion, it was a good effing extended weekend, I think Ive finally made peace with the "humaneness" of my parents and my baggage lost about a ton of weight. I feel readierr I feel its time to keep moving forward...

[prettypansyprince]

What's in a name?

There are many reasons why I picked Morgan for my new name. It's unisex. It's extremely close to my birth name. I can/do shorten it to Morg which sounds goth as hell. I connect it to The Mórrigan.

I've been going by that name since 2016 and it honestly feels like that's what my name is supposed to be. Even though at times I think, "what if I had a more masculine name?" Of course I'd like it, but it would feel like I'm 'wearing' a name like a label. Just as I go by Pansy, it's a cute nickname and I love it. It's like babe, doll, kiddo, ect. With Morgan, I feel like that's just who I am. That is the name of my very existence. It's my soul. I'm so glad to have found the real me. My birth name was a compromise between my parents, it was neithers first, second, or even third choice. My dad wanted to name me Morgana, which while close I'm relieved I didn't get stuck with that cause I still hate it. It took me a while to like any name even close to it. Which brings me to the point of why I'm even writing all of this...

In order to pick my name, I had to like it first. I met my friend Morgan, the first I ever met, in high school. She was in my art class. She'd always smile and kept positive. She encouraged others in their art. She rescued and rehibilitated animals, even the wild ones. She was just an amazingly kind person. Because of her I came to love the name Morgan. My sophomore year I was having more and more health problems, the main one being my heart. She always asked how I was doing but wasn't judgemental or weird about it. I wonder if then she had any issues...but the next year she was sick a lot. I understood it, we both had chronic conditions but able-bodied people didn't get it. She had a problem with her heart too. I don't know everything but I do know it would beat too fast and skip beats at times, just like mine. We had so many similarities, I just always felt a connection. We didn't talk a ton after high school, at one point she moved back to her home state for a while. When she came back, I ran into her at a bar. We chatted for a while and said we'd have to get together and do a drawing or painting night. We never did. But I talked to her a bit more online again. Less than a month ago we were talking about our high school self-portraits we did in charcol. Last night I found out she passed. I'm still in a state of shock. She was never a close friend, but she was a good friend. She was a good person. In this world, I wish more people were like her. Every life she touched, she changed it for the better.

While I didn't really name myself after her and she didn't play a part in selecting a name, I still do owe my name to her. It's something I never told her and I wish I had. That she's such an amazing person that she changed my view on a name. Because how can someone be so great and their name not match? Anytime I met a jerk Morgan I thought the name didn't fit them. (I'm that way with Andys and Andrews too. I know so many nice ones.) I tried so many names for myself, none of them clicked. The only one that worked was Morgan. It took a couple years, but then it felt like I never had any other name. It took longer still for me to realize my friend's indirect role of chosing a name.

Last night I realized she was one of my only friends in high school I could bond with over being sick. There was support. Empathy and sympathy from able-bodied people only goes so far, some it's never there. Actually I had another friend, she's no longer here either, the odds were stacked against her. They were both very sunshine sort of people. I knew Ashley's days were numbered but her death was still rough. I still feel her loss. I know that's how it will be once I can process Morgan's death. I wasn't expecting it. I can't process. I still can't understand it.

Morgan, I hope you are out of pain and reunited with you mom and brother. I wish the best for your boyfriend. I can't imagine what he's going through now. You're missed by many. Thank you for the short time you were here. You've made such an impact. All the animals you've taken care of. The people you have helped. The art you've created. (Mrs. B is devastated) You meant a lot to me even though we weren't hanging out and talking all the time, every interaction was soul level. That's just the kind of person you were. You couldn't be superficial even if you tried. You were just you. You at your core being, is love and compassion. It makes it that much harder to not be bitter and ask why? But I know you wouldn't want others to be upset on your behalf. If I'm having a difficult time, I don't know how those closest to you are doing. We will miss and always remember you. Thank you for all you've done. I'm grateful our paths crossed.

[tigerpaladin]

10 Years Later

CW: Death in the family

///

Mother,

It's been 10 years since I've been able to see your smiling face. To hear your infectious laughter. To see the light in your eyes. 10 years since we've been able to sit down together to crochet, play games, or just enjoy each other's company. 10 years since the last time I was able to hug you, to feel your warmth. You gave me a love for games and knowledge. You taught me what it meant to love unconditionally. What it meant to keep your mind open and have empathy. The greatest parts of me came from you.

I remember your first time going to a Magic The Gathering Event - you made the Top 8 even though you were still new to the game. I remember when I introduced you to Wizard101 - how not only did you pick it up so quickly but you started advancing further than me and I ended up needing help from you instead of the other way around. I remember using my friend's Action Replay to get you a Celebi in your Pokemon: Pearl game. I still have it. I remember the first time you showed me how to crochet. My first project was a pair of slippers that were WAY off pattern but you still wore them around the house until they fell apart. I remember how you encouraged me to pursue my art and even asked me to make a furry version of you (she was a bear). I remember how excited you got when I got 2nd Place for the first time in swimming. I remember sitting down as a family to play Heroes of Might and Magic III. Castles were always your favorite - it was hard to pass up on the Angels. I remember how you showed me how to cook - how easily one can just throw things together to make a full meal.

I remember our times cleaning the house. You'd put Elvis on the stereo and we'd make everything spotless while we sang and danced with each other. I remember how you loved to sing yourself - even though you knew you were off-key you never worried about it. You did it because you loved it. I remember how, when we went to the Renaissance Festival, the greeters complimented you on having us push your wheel chair - I knew it was a bad pain day for you, but you still triumphantly shouted back with a large grin on your face, "That's right! I'm the Queen of THIS castle!" And they all cheered, "Well said, m'lady!"

You were the best mother anyone could ask for - hell, my friends even called you "Mom". You impacted so many lives that you didn't realize and the world is worse off without you. You were a rock to so many people and when I found you lying still on your bed it was like the ground moved out from underneath me. I had never felt so weak. I love you, Mom. You will never be forgotten. And every day I try to live up to your teachings - to love, to learn, to laugh. I hope I'm at least half the man you raised me to be. Thank you. For everything.

[dandelionflowery]

Lmao ok so I'm afraid I really have known too many people geez

Luckily for you there's a recurring person! Ny is back!

...there also two new people... : Ch and ... I've already used L, i've already used Le... how about Lo

(both she/her)

Anyways this is in fuck what is it in English 3rd and 4th grade? (CE2 and CM1) and maybe second don't remember

I met this cool person, Ch, and we found out that we were born 36 hours apart although i always was way taller than her and that we both played flute and we basically had a bunch of stuff in common so we became close friends and the few times we had concerts together (we were rather new to the flute so we didn't have that many concerts lol) we would always be whispering together at rehearsals and what not (from memory we were some of the youngest ones there so it wasn't as if we were gonna go chat with the 'scary' teenagers lol)

Basically we were best friends and we had fun together.

In 3rd grade (?) we were in the same class, as was Ny, who was new that year [also all of these make it sound like I absolutely hate everyone I've known since I was 3 bc i keep flocking towards the new kids lol, which isn't exactly true, it's just that the ones I do like ended up mostly not going to the same middle school as me lol or are really sweet so I never had any drama with them but weirdly i never became close friends with most of the nice ones]

For most of the year, we stuck together, and as the year went on we started hanging out with Ny.

As I'm writing this I just realized I have a weird sense of time apparently bc I was convinced Ny moved here in 3rd grade but i also remember there being only one year between the incident with Ch and middle school, meaning the incident would have happened in 4th grade...

Idk some time passed and by All saint's day vacation of either 3rd or 4th grade Ch had started spending time with Lo, which would've been cool (Lo is so sweet omg she's adorable) if Ch and Lo had stayed with Ny and me, but no for some reason that I still don't know, they went off on their own, and I was a bit hurt bc I thought she was my bff.

At some point when Ny wasn't there (which does make figuring out which year this was kinda hard), Ch, Lo and I were hanging out together for once, and I think at this point Lo was a new addition to our friend group. Ch was acting all secretive and saying she had something in her pocket that she didn't want to show anyone, and then she decided to show it.

Not to me, but to Lo, who once again was new to this friend group whereas I was supposed to be Ch's best friend. She then refused to show me what she had in her pocket and that was the last time I cried in a school.

The next day she showed me what she had.

She had one of these caramel square things.

She knew that I had braces/orthodontic stuff and couldn't eat caramel, and she knew I don't even like candy in the first place; if she didn't want anyone to know for fear that they would ask her for some but still wanted to tell someone, I still maintain to this day that I would have been the perfect candidate.

Either way after that I started hanging out way more with Ny after that, which led to Le and Ax from the previous tale of my life so perhaps not a great decision on my part lol

(oh and I have only heard a little about Ch since then, through a friend who went to the same middle school she did and who i see frequently in the bus and at art class every week, where I also see Lo every week lol so clearly there was a right choice of friend between Ch and Lo and I chose the wrong one originally but now I'm friends with Lo so that's fun)

(speaking of Lo, she's one of the people I've known since we were three lol and she's one of the few i'm still in touch with)

Anyways drama over a piece of candy I don't even like lol :)

gossip? 🤲🏼

Well let's see, I could tell you how one of my friends dumped me over essentially a piece of candy, but other than that i don't have drama off the top of my head lol