#I didn’t get really excited until like yesterday and now I’m like. overly excited

[bruisedboys]

I’m so excited for obx 3 you don’t understand

[darkcircles4lyfe]

What are your thoughts on the recent chapter?

This is a pretty vague ask but I’m pretty sure I received it yesterday. If not… oops?

I’m actually so excited for the next—that is, the second to last—chapter as someone who was deeply affected by chapters 391-395 and who just loves Toga Himiko in general, so so much. I’ve really grown to love Ochako’s arc too and I’ve come to trust the process here. I didn’t know about everyone freaking out until after I read 428 officials yesterday, and I’m not worried like that. We’ve been in this type of cliffhanger situation multiple times before.

The news that the end of Himiko’s and Ochako’s fight wasn’t recorded hit me hard, just like it hits Ochako, because the world doesn’t get to know who Himiko really is. There’s nothing Ochako could say on her behalf that would compare to actual footage of her pain, anger, joy, love, sorrow, and sacrifice.

…which is to say, Himiko does not serve as a martyr, a tragic, cautionary example. I’ll remind you that that was what the PLF reporter wanted her to be, and she was controlling and patronizing. Let’s think about this as a choice Horikoshi is making, to discard the only ammunition he had to make Himiko into an example and have it be even remotely compelling and satisfying. Boom, gone. There’s no footage. Why?

On the other hand, this is actually an advantageous turn of events if it turns out Himiko survived, because more calculated actions can be taken to keep her safe. I’m starting to see this as a turning point not necessarily for society as a whole, but for the hero profession and its purpose, wherein under Hawks’ leadership the hero commission could become the exact opposite of what it was. It’s no accident that the first half of this chapter is devoted to showing how the next generation and the public were both ~so inspired~ by class A’s actions in a way that mimics the chain of inspiration that motivated class A to begin with. Only this time, Ochako and Izuku are deeply uncomfortable with it! They don’t want this chain reaction to keep going the same way forever. These people look at them and have no idea what they’re actually going through or what they’ve seen. Future heroes who don’t know the real story. That’s very upsetting. Now they are starting to see firsthand how a pattern of collective forgetting is perpetuated. It won’t change until someone like Himiko is actually saved. No bright future without a place for her in it.

I’m excited because this chapter directly confirms Ochako’s awkward, overly cheerful mask for what it is, as it finally starts to crumble. In hindsight, she’s probably done this a lot in the past as well. It casts her whole character in a new light. She and Himiko are so much alike in this way.

I still have high hopes for this storyline because of how much it resonates with me as a queer allegory. Of course, Himiko is also literally queer, but I mean the symbolic stuff about her quirk and her family’s rejection. As a trans person who spent a long time in the closet convincing everyone around me that I was a normal, happy girl, whose pain and rage only festered and grew stronger, who was perceived as selfish and destructive, who was determined to live for myself but still doubted if I had any future at all… I see Himiko’s story as so perfect, so real, that I can’t imagine it ending poorly. And it doesn’t have shit to do with canonizing that ship, either. I’m not worried.

[thewulf]

My Favorite Girl || Sirius Black

Summary: Sirius Black(if you don't mind) or Aaron Hotchner with a new girl that has a cochlear implant. At some point it could be damaged and they learned sign to surprise her!

A/N:I didn’t specify which sign language since all I know is ASL (American Sign Language) and after some reading I’ve learned that BSL (British Sign Language) is completely different! Almost as if they were two different languages which is fascinating. So, I didn’t want to butcher that! Also, we’re selectively ignoring the ‘muggle devices don’t work at Hogwarts’ rule, this does. Hope you enjoy. Very fluffy and extra sweet. As always, thank you for the requests!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Y/N

Word Count: 4.5k +

“What’s got you so nervous love?” Your mum wrapped her arms around your sunken shoulders. She’d spotted you sitting down at the edge of your bed just staring at the wardrobe looking rather glum. It wasn’t like you at all. You were the happy go lucky twelve-year-old that just got her letter to go to Hogwarts only a month ago. Your parents had known. A wizard came to explain that you were born a witch and what it all entailed. How the magical world existed and how you were now a part of it.

It was great and all until you the night before you were leaving for Kings Cross Station, to the Hogwarts Express for the first time. A witch came to collect you and your mom taking you to Diagon Alley. She was a representative from Hogwarts that helped guide first year muggle born students through the transition between the muggle world and the wizarding one. You understood when she handed you the list of things you needed. Half the supply list looked foreign, the books especially. What was transfiguration? Did potions really mean making potions? It was all too much all at once for you.

You knew you’d be going in far behind. There were other first years who grew up with magic like it was nothing. They were used to it, there was no novelty to it anymore. Not only did you have to overcome that, but you also had to overcome being the weirdo with a hearing impairment. The wizard that came when you were a baby even offered a healer to come take a look. The healer tried but said there wasn’t much that could be done. Magic can only go so far.

You’d grown up nearly deaf until you were able to get scheduled for surgery. You and your family had learned sign language to compensate until you got your cochlear implant surgically installed. After that you’d learned how to communicate through speech once you could finally hear. It was like learning an entirely new world. You loved it. How magical it really was to hear.

“Hello!” An overly excited black-haired boy smiled and waved as you sat across from him after getting sorted into Gryffindor. You weren’t sure if that was the best house, but it seemed like a decent one from the rumblings you’d heard on the train, “I’m Sirius. Sirius Black.” The long-haired boy named Sirius stuck his hand out for you to shake. How proper you noted.

You shook his hand gently while introducing yourself, “Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” You spoke quietly, unsure of the entire situation. How was it that yesterday you were sitting on the couch with your mum and dad in the muggle world and now tonight you were here? It was blowing your already overstimulated mind.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N. How brilliant is this all?” He gestured to the magnificence of the ceiling of the Great Hall decked out in candles not even noticing your implant. It was impossible to see already due to the small size of it, especially when your hair was down like it currently was. Maybe you really didn’t have much to worry about. Maybe you could just be a normal first year like the rest of them.

You nodded excitedly suddenly so much less afraid, “It’s wonderful. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” Your eyes scanned above you at the hundreds of candles that flickered above everyone, “Won’t the wax melt on us though?”

His eyes studied you as you fully took in its magnificence. He laughed at your innocent question, “Muggle born? They’re enchanted, it won’t drip on us.” He asked with genuine curiosity. Sirius had quite literally never met a muggle born witch. His parents forbade it. And they reigned supreme in every aspect of his miserable pure blood life.

You nodded suddenly a little afraid after heading the warnings from the witch who took you Diagon Alley. She told you there was a pecking order. Pure bloods were the cream of the crop. Half-bloods got some respect. And muggle borns were… less than desirable to the elite pure bloods. It also didn’t help that there wasn’t that many of you to begin with. It was far more likely for a witch or wizard to come from a wizarding family. You were already the small minority. The anomaly with a defect. How fun. Poor little British girl.

“Yes, I’m a muggle born.”

He grinned ear to ear, “Well, I’m going to show you everything I know. It may not be much but it’s something.”

“Really?” You leaned closer to him. He felt warm. He radiated warmth. His smile drew you right in. Sirius Black. You had a feeling you wouldn’t be forgetting that name for a long while. If not ever.

He nodded his head quickly, “Absolutely. You’ve got my word Y/N.” He wanted nothing more than to make friends. To fit in. Because he knew he was in for it the next time he saw his parents. He wasn’t too thrilled for the letter he was bound to receive in the next few days. An utter disappointment he was sure. He was a pure blood. He should’ve been in Slytherin. But that damn sorting hat had other plans.

Before you could respond a brown-haired boy with crooked glasses slid onto the bench next to Sirius, “Hi! I’m James!” He gleefully smiled taking in the other first years around him.

The rest was history. You fell into quick friendship with the girls of year one after the first few nights in the dormitories. Particularly Lily and Marlene. The three of you formed a trio quickly. It quickly felt like a big sleepover every night.

You’d also fallen into fast friendship with boys in your year too. Lily couldn’t stand them after James had taken a particular liking to her and never seemed to stop pestering her. Dorcas and Marlene thought boys were beneath them and never have them a chance leaving just you to form the friendship. If you weren’t with the girls you were with the boys. You couldn’t believe how nervous you were before getting to Hogwarts. Everything felt so easy and far too much fun for it be school. How lucky you felt.

“What’s that?” Sirius poked the top of your ear. Ah, it was about time one of them spotted the device on your ears. It’s been nearly two months into your first school year before he noticed. You’d gotten lazy and pulled your hair into a bun.

You found a rhythm with everybody. You’d grown close to Lily quickly, other than the boys that was of course. The girls knew about it within the first night. It wasn’t very easy to hide the device when you had to take it off and make sure it was charged. They were incredible with it all. They even learned basic signs so that they could talk with you if they needed to once you took them off. They made it easy, and you truly couldn’t be more grateful.

“It helps me hear.” You set down the quill that you were using to write your essay with. Potions, you had to write a damn essay on the history of some potions master. How dreadful. Slughorn claimed it’d give you all a newfound respect for the great art of potions making.

Sirius sat down across from you at the library table. Normally, he’d never be caught dead here. But he knew it was a Tuesday at six o’clock and you always did homework at the library then. He’d figured it out after a few months of getting to know you. Figuring out your structured routine quickly.  

He genuinely liked you. You were far too sweet for the horrors of the wizarding world and the wretched pure bloods Slytherin. He’d tried his best to shield you from it. You didn’t deserve the snide looks and comments you’d received. Hell, no muggle born deserved it. But he could still see the saddened expression on your face when a Slytherin boy would yell ‘filthy mud blood’ across the square right at you. He saw the hurt that crossed your features before you bravely put up a wall trying to ignore it. If there was one thing he knew within the first few months of knowing you was that he’s never felt so protective over anybody. Not even his own brother. It’s like he was bound to meet you. Bound to shield you from the hatred you didn’t deserve.

“You’re hard of hearing?” He didn’t realize how goofy he sounded using such mature language as a twelve-year-old until he saw your goofy expression making fun of him. You were cock eyed and wondering why in the hell he sounded like your grandpa. You’d both laughed quietly not wanting to get kicked out by the ornery old librarian.

You nodded slowly, “Always have been. Birth defect not even magic can fix.” You sighed wishing that you’d have been the exception. But no. Your ears were too damn deformed to get to work right. Magic couldn’t create a new cochlea. It could only attempt to fix what was there. So, it was muggle medicine you needed. It was muggle medicine you got.

He got up from his seat quickly plopping down in one next to you. He leaned over inspecting the apparatus that fit right to your ear, “It’s muggle?” He asked curious about the whole thing. Why hadn’t you told him? Had he not made you feel like a friend? Were you embarrassed?

You nodded careful not to hit him as you turned your head back away from his view, “Yeah. It’s called a cochlear implant. Uses vibrations or something to help me hear.”

He nodded moving away from your ear. Giving you your personal space back, “Makes you look cool.” Sirius nudged your shoulder seeing your unease surrounding the conversation. If there was one thing he was a pro at it was picking up emotion. Coming from such an emotionless family he had to know how to read anything. Pick up on anything. It was his only survival mechanism he learned in such a soulless upbringing. He noticed how you stiffened up when he asked about it. How you got seemingly uncomfortable within an instant like he’d just found out your deepest darkest secret.

You laughed softly, “Hardly, I’d say.”

He shook his head, “Trust me. It’s wicked. Makes you look part robot.”

You shook your head with a bright smile across it. You didn’t know what he was doing but you sure did enjoy it, “Is that really a good thing?”

He nodded, “I say so. And that’s really all that matters.” Giving you that signature Sirius grin you looked at him curiously. He was so different than any of the other twelve-year-old boys his age. It made you wonder about him. Wonder what his story was.

“Sure Sirius. That’s all that matters.” You shook your head as laughter bubbled out of you. He always got you smiling and laughing. A pro at turning any situation right around.

“Hey, you said it.” He tossed you a wink before ruffling your hair and running off. As quickly as you’d grown in your friendship with Lily your friendship was exploding with Sirius. The two of you were tied at the hip.

Your first year ended with you not wanting to get off the train at Kings Cross. You gave each of the boys and girls the biggest hugs before finding your parents. Promising to write them throughout the summer. You made sure to give Sirius the longest hug of them all. He was your comfort. The one you ran to when you needed help. A bond had formed your first year with the boy. A bond that you’d hoped could never be broken.

Fourth year was brutal. The Slytherins went all in on the bullying. Especially his cousins. You were now the filthy deaf mud blood freak. They targeted your implant because of course they did. They were bullies. Mean, evil people that picked on you because it bothered Sirius deeply. You seemed to be the things that got him worked up the most. Unlucky for you that you became their prime target of harassment. Lucky for you that Sirius was now essentially your bodyguard.

It bothered him so much he launched a full-on assault on the Slytherin common room and dormitories. The marauders, as they now called themselves, left you out of this one knowing you would tell them it was a step too far. Even Remus didn’t think it was too far. Not after the nasty insults he’d heard thrown at you earlier in the day. They’d seen you like a sister now. That protective nature was spread across all the boys. When you were hurt, they were hurt. And they weren’t the kind to stand by. Not these boys.

So, they snuck in using Polyjuice Potion, rigged the place with exploding dye and waited. They sat outside the hallway grinning ear to ear when they saw the entire dormitory explode out the dungeon door. Each person coated in hundreds of different colors. Unfortunately for them the dye wouldn’t wash off for a week. Not that the marauders cared. Not after they hurt you. Remus only felt a twinge of guilt for the Slytherin’s who didn’t partake as they were just casualties of the bigger picture.

You eyed the marauders the next morning after seeing almost all of the Slytherins coated in dye. Sirius only tossed you a wink before turning back to James. That was all the confirmation you needed. Even if you didn’t necessarily approve of the prank you knew you were loved by them. Those boys loved you dearly and you loved them just as much. It was moments like those that made you feel more than lucky with the friends you’d found here. You’d never cease to count your blessings.

Seventh year didn’t start out too wonderful for you. You’d woken up in the middle of the night having to use the restroom. Without much thought you’d taken the implant and placed it on your ear. You knew better than to take it off the charger when it wasn’t fully charged. The damn thing malfunctioned when it didn’t get its way. Muggle medicine wasn’t the most reliable at times.

What you didn’t expect was for the thing to completely break. A loud noise pieced your ear before you heard nothing at all. Shit. One side seemed to be working but the other was dead silent.

You turned on the running water only to hear muffled silence. Fuck. This couldn’t be happening right now. You walked down to the common room to take a better look at the device without waking any of the girls up. You sighed when you read the clock on the wall, five in the morning. This is just what you wanted to be dealing with at this hour.

You broke down into a soft cry feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Why now? Why after years of never having a problem with the usually amazing device did it decide it wanted to malfunction. You let a few tears fall before patting you face dry. You needed to focus. How could you fix the transmitter? You pulled it off the top of your ear along with the processor and microphone to make sure everything was working right. The only problem was it looked like everything was working right. All the usual lights were on. You felt the inevitable headache coming on strong from the sudden imbalance in hearing.

Panic began to bubble in your chest. Was something wrong with the device that was implanted in your ear? More tears fell as you let the anxiety of the situation consume you. You still had your other ear that seemed to be working fine. But nothing sounded right. Everything was muffled.

“Hey,” You felt a cold hand clamp down on your shoulder sending you nearly flying off the common room couch.

“Jesus Sirius.” You gasped unsure of how you actually sounded. Everything was muffled and hard to hear. It’s like you could hear but you couldn’t decipher without the other ear working. You saw his lips moving but you could vaguely make out what he saying to you. Trying to read lips was difficult with such low light coming from the always glowing lanterns that were scattered about the common room.

Even more panic began to rise as you realized you really couldn’t hear that well without the device working. Shit. You’d have to go home and have a muggle doctor look at it. You doubt any magic would work on a vibrational contraption.

Sirius saw your red laced eyes and the recent tear streaks that went down your saddened face. His expression downturned at the sight. He’d always loved you. But it wasn’t until recently that he realized he was devastatingly in love with you too. For the last seven years you’d been at his side, like James, through thick and thin. Even though you weren’t an official Marauder he’d considered you one. He made sure the guys included you in on everything. Even if it pissed James off. Sirius didn’t care. He simply adored you.

You didn’t give a damn about his name, Black. You’d started Hogwarts too naïve to know how scandalous it was that he was sorted into Gryffindor with the group of first years. It wasn’t until Remus gave you the run down about the sacred eight families that you realized how shocking the entire thing was. It didn’t deter you though. You’d treated him all the same. And he loved it. You kept him grounded. Even through the myriad of women he went through, you always were there for him. You always would be. Even if you couldn’t have him as a boyfriend you decided a long time ago you’d always be his best friend. No matter how hard it could get. And it got hard. Specifically, when all you wanted was for him to hold you in his arms, but he was hung up on another girl. That was heartbreaking.

You pointed to you ear and then the pieces you were holding in your hand. You mouthed, ‘I can’t hear you.’ You didn’t want to speak. It didn’t sound right. You couldn’t tell if you were whispering or yelling. The loss of hearing disrupted your reality significantly.

He turned his head unable to read your lips. He grinned ear to ear knowing he could try and communicate with you through sign language. Ever since you’d shown him the cochlear implant your first year he’d slowly learned. He was determined to learn sign language. Especially since you told him it was your first language. The one you were most comfortable in. You never needed to use it though, so he’d kept it in his back pocket.

Before he could respond though you’d already written on the back of an old flyer sitting on the coffee table reading, ‘It broke. I can’t hear.’ You pointed to the pieces of the device in your hand.

He nodded walking over to you slowly. It was now or never. He went for it. He signed, “Can I look?” He was probably going to sound like a child communicating knowing he never actually practiced with anyone. He never told a soul. Not Peter, Remus, or James. It was his little secret. Something he wanted to keep to himself. Between the two of you. Something special the two of you could share.

You nodded just in sheer shock from witnessing him communicating through his hands. You handed him the pieces, not that he had a bloody clue what he was looking at before looking up to you.

You were wearing a small smile. The pools of tears that were there moments ago had seemed to vanish in an instant, “When did you learn?” You asked back hoping he’d be able to read as well as he was able to speak it.

Should he tell you? He knew if he did that he’d be crossing the line. That friendship line that he’d been teetering with you for the last school year. It wasn’t his fault he was so blind before. But he felt too late. Like you’d both go off and do your own thing and never see one another again. You only had seventh year left. That was it and then you were off. It didn’t seem possible to him. He didn’t want to hurt you. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

That’s how he knew he loved you deeply. He’d rather not pursue you in the chance that it could hurt you. He was usually the selfish one. This was perhaps the least selfish thing he’d ever done. And it hurt him, his lack of action. He was always the doer. He never waited. He got what he wanted. But you? You were worth the wait. Even if he had to wait another twenty years. He’d do it. He loved you. Loved you so hard.

But on the other hand, what if he was hurting you by not telling you? What if he just needed to make it your decision? He was tired of playing it coy and distracting himself with meaningless dates and disappointing one-night stands. He let his hands move without thinking much more, “First Year.”

Your mouth dropped just slightly as you registered his words, “Really?” You asked after a moment of consideration.

He nodded his head minutely at the state of shock on your face. Shock turned to gratitude. Gratitude turned to more tears rolling down your face. Happy tears. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for you.

It was hard just being his best friend. Even though you’d decided so long ago you’d always be there. It was so difficult always hearing him go on and on about damn near every girl within a grade of the group. You’d have to sit there and listen about how he’d impress them to get them into bed. It hurt but you’d learned to ignore it. It was Sirius. That was all. He was your friend and nothing more. You could wish and pray and hope all you’d liked but it never seemed like it could happen.

But this? This was beyond your wildest imagination. He’d went out of his way to learn sign language… for you? You knew it wasn’t easy. You spent countless nights crying when you were growing up because you couldn’t understand it. But he’d learned it. Just for you. Only you. That was love.

The tears that spilled now weren’t of the frustrated kind from earlier but of that overwhelming sense of love. Of such a divine happiness you didn’t think you’d ever receive. But here you were eyeing Sirius with all the love in your heart. He’d learned a damn language for you.

He walked over quickly brushing the tears away from your face. Taking a step back he signed, “What’s wrong?” Before engulfing you in the warmest hug you’d probably ever received outside your mum. You’d completely melted into him feeling his all-encompassing warmth. And for a moment you’d forgotten about the broken implant. You just felt so euphoric.

You shook your head wiping away the last bout of happy tears, “Nothing. Thank you.” You signed back at him. You wanted that hug again. That warmth. You wanted him.

“You’re my best friend. My favorite girl.” He didn’t really know how to go further but you nodded in understanding. You’d realized he’d do just about anything for you. Best friend. God how you wished it could be boyfriend though.

This time you’d pulled him back into that hug. Giving him a big squeeze. You were surely going to go over the deep end if he didn’t reel you back in quickly. It wasn’t often that you’d let your emotions get the best of you. But when you felt and heard that painful noise and then nothing it sent you into a spiral of emotion.

After you let him go he rubbed your shoulder gently, “Let’s go talk to…” he trailed off not sure how to continue. He mouthed ‘McGonagall’ hoping you’d get what he was talking about. You nodded in quick agreement. If there was anybody who would know what the hell to do it was her.

“Thank you.” You signed once more before the two of you went to go wake the older witch.

His smile could really change the trajectory of any day. You savored that beautiful grin that rarely came out so fully. Instead of responding he simply wrapped you back into him for the third time in as many minutes.

This time he held you for so much longer though. Held you tightly in his arms almost afraid to let you go. He felt so fucking dumb for not realizing what he had right in front of him. How incredible you were to him throughout the years. How you were his person. James was his best friend for forever. You were his person though. You were it.

He rubbed a gentle hand down your back utilizing the height difference to his advantage. He smiled warmly when he saw the visceral reaction you had from him touching you. You seemed to simply soften into his embrace. He’d certainly make a note of that. He was very much enjoying the position he’d found himself in with you. Holding you tightly to his chest.

He was always so bold but the thought of kissing you seemed to paralyze him. He’d have to take it slow just for his sake. He didn’t want to make a complete fool of himself. Sirius knew that you wouldn’t give a damn if he did though. You’d seen him though it all. Been there with him though everything. Every high you experienced with him and every low you comforted him. He couldn’t say the same was reciprocated and he wanted to slap himself for that. It was a miracle you hadn’t given up on him truly. He’d never fail to count his lucky stars.

After the lengthy embrace he pulled apart. Brushing the straggling hair out of your face he nodded to the Head of Gryffindors chambers at the base of the stairs.

Sirius offered you a hand for comfort still holding onto the small devices ready to explain and translate for you to McGonagall. Happily accepting his offer, you placed your much smaller hand in his. The way he looked at you sent a shiver down your spine. You knew he loved you in that very moment. You knew you were in for a very exciting lifetime with just that look alone. Oh, how you couldn’t bloody wait.

Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989

[aisling-writes]

16. You're... Leaving

Time remaining: One week

“So, are you ready to go?”

You give a sheepish laughter and shrug, quickly looking elsewhere. The white chairs, the grey ceilings and the holy altar. Perhaps if they see that you’re distracted, they’ll get distracted too.

Eureka! It works.

The Aunty, clad in a heavy chiffon salwar- kameez, ruffles your hair and talks to the next, her long black hair swishing with her every dancing step.

You’ve evaded her and she’s forgotten you. But at what cost? To what extent?

A huge bubble of emotion threatens to spill, but you push it back inside and lock it under key. Not now, not yet. You’ll deal with it later.

Besides, you’ve always had a penchant for procrastination. If you can keep away from assignments and messy rooms, so can emotions wait.

Yes, later.

That sounds nice.

Time remaining: six days

“We have to meet up, man. You’re leaving in six days!”

Right.

Six days.

“Guys, think positively. Six whole days!” You exclaim. “That’s a whole lot of time!��

Your friends eye you suspiciously, as if they don’t believe you.

A small part of you agrees with their look.

Do you truly believe in that?

Right. No. Stuff the emotion back in. Deep inside.

Fake the happiness until it becomes real.

You pull them back inside, the whoosh of the door closing around you encloses you in a hug. A small thought threatens to pop up: This is probably the last time you’d be able to come to this store.

Stuff. It. Inside. Already.

You, instead choose to open the chips packet, the vinegar and salt smell overloading your senses.

See? This is good.

Denial works.

Time remaining: Five days.

“Chechi, I just have five more days left for camp! I’m so excited!”

You smile, genuinely happy for your sister and the fun that awaits her until your neurons fire up and make the connection.

Something bad unfurls in your stomach: A feeling that you’ve not yet experienced or heard of. It’s not jealousy, but a cousin of his perhaps?

You’re leaving for college the next day after your sister’s camp.

The camp she awaits  means it’s time for you to pack your bags and leave.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You’re … leaving.

The something-feeling settles in your stomach, taking route.

Nope, Nope, Nope.

Get out already!

Divert.

“So Malu, what are your camp plans?,” you ask, waiting to hear her babble of talk that soothes you.

She spills out her words and it runs all around you,

You’re just not sure if you can handle your awaiting spill of emotions anymore.

Time remaining: Four days

Last night was a bust.

Your parents sentenced you back to your room again.

You’ve been sleeping with them for the past two days lying that you’re afraid of the ‘ghost’. Of course, the first day it was genuinely true. You felt like you’d never make it till sunrise and that a lady dressed in white with choppy hair truly awaited you outside your door, but the other two days were a lie.

You realized that you liked sleeping with them because…

You’re…

Leaving.

But that was the end of that thought. You didn’t let it go anywhere.

Instead, you happily slept under the comfort of the weighted blanket and the cold icy A/C air. Like old times. I’m still a kid again.

Until yesterday.

Dada’s backpains were kicking in and he needed a full bed back to himself so, logically, you were out.

You could swear that dada saw the disappointment in your eyes, but you just acted all nonchalant.

Because… ghost problem over, right?

Right.

Then why were your pillows wet the next day morning?

Time remaining: Three days

“You don’t want you brother to be there when you’re entering college the first time?”

What you really wanted to ask was ‘Please tell me it’s not only me who’s being overly emotional’.

“Nope. Let him suffer with his exams.” The girl with the long hair, your friend, answers. She has a cheeky twinkle in her eye, and you’re supposed to share the joke with her but, everything feels like a façade now.

You’ve been lying for too long, anyway.

To others.

To your friends.

To yourself.

What’s one more?

“Ha HA. I know right? Let my sister also suffer. Anyway, she’ll come to visit me in a month anyway!” The lie tumbles out easily.

The moment had so much potential. You finally could’ve spoken to someone, but-

No.

Time remaining: Two days

“I’m skipping the meeting tomorrow. My daughter’s leaving for college in two days, so I want to spend that time with her.” Your mother cuts the call and un-pauses the television. The show goes on and the moment of silence passes.

Two days.

You didn’t realize how fast time flies.

It feels just like yesterday when your examinations were over, and you were promised a sweet, blissful month of doing absolutely nothing.

Where did that go?

In fact, you’re angry now. A week full of choking back your feelings left no other vent other than anger. That seemed like the only feeling that was permitted without you exposing your weakness? (Who are you exposing it to? And what weakness?)

Where did that free month go?!

Time remaining: One day

A flurry of emotions.

Denial.

Stuff it back just like how you’re stuffing the bag with clothes and necessities.

You’re leaving.

The instructions.

“Call your grandma’s every day, okay?”

“I’m not a kid, you know Mama?” You laugh.

You’re leaving.

It’s evening.

 The sun has set and the yellow lights you absolutely hate (I think I love them now) illuminate the room.

An actor on the telly stabs the villain. Yay.

You’re leaving.

“How’s the food?”, Mama asks.

You wish to say it’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten but no. Lie. Lie through your teeth. “Eh, it’s fine.”

“Ha ha. You’re gonna wish you had this in your hostel.”

You’re leaving.

The clock chimes 10.

You’ve to sleep early to board the flight tomorrow.

You still have 8 more hours left. That’s a whole lot of time.

You’re leaving.

 You’re in your room, staring at the ceiling.

No ghost plagues you but only your feelings do.

It’s time.

Slowly, you let open the dam.

The unsaid words are whispered as a prayer. Your tears are your holy words.

 It rushes out.

 It threatens to spill, to pour, to ravage you.

You don’t know who you are without your family, your friends, your home, your church.

And you’re leaving them.

You’re leaving.

No.

No more denial.

You’re leaving.

Time remaining: Zero days

“This is the boarding call for Emirates flight EK563 travelling from Dubai to Bangalore.”

Part 16 of Finding Me

[doomspiral]

hello! I was the anon ask you received yesterday, and i wanted to send it to you off anon if that helps with resolving the issue properly and clarifying a few things. again, i stress that there is nothing wrong with facing the facts—i knew lithuania was going to win most likely because he's european, white and therefore more popular. what i meant was just how you referred to the other poc countries—i didn't have an issue until you used the word "sacrifices." i understand it may have seemed like a harmless joke and as if i am being overly sensitive over a small word, but it was hurtful—both to me and other poc friends who saw the post—because it seemed to perhaps confirm an unconscious thought by the fandom, which is that we exist as accessories to the popular characters and that we don't have much agency out of them...

for context, i remember browsing through the aph south korea tag to find the round 2 poll, and after voting for that round i looked at the reblogs to see what people had to say out of curiosity, after which i had seen the tag of your reblog. as a south korean and a poc it really stuck with me and felt like an unconscious admission: that pocs will always be unpopular, yet people seem to pretend that both are on an equal status

the small things that you can brush off your mind stick with us, because it relates to us and how we are seen in this fandom. but whenever we, the minority, voice these concerns, it usually ends with our voices being dismissed as "not being able to have fun and enjoy the fandom" or "raining on the parade."

i don't want to assume that the final post about how fandom must be treated was a vaguepost about the ask, but simple things such as "just have fun and don't be a party pooper" is on the similar vein as "they're just characters" or "hetalia is just an anime." now, this wouldn't be an issue if hetalia wasn't an anime about countries(meaning there is history and politics)! and so a lot of pocs struggle to have fun in the sense that you do because even though exclusion isn't upfront and obvious, it's all in the little things.

i don't wish to accuse or say that this is how you think of us, but rather a reminder. no matter how influential you are as a blog, being a small or big blog is not an obstacle to stepping back and seeing if what you do or say is inclusive to everyone!

Hey there, thank you for coming off anon for this. I’m sorry for how brash I am about anonymous messages, I’ve just been in online fandom spaces since 2006 and have been sent a lot of bait that reads as well-intended, and seen it get muddled and ugly within hours. I know that messaging someone like this can be intimidating so I hope my response reassures you that this is an okay and good way to go about things that have hurt you, regardless of who did it.

I agree actually, that my wording was not good. Ideally, someone who knows me would have said something by now but it's possible those are the people who know what I meant and let it slide bcs of that. I used excitable text about it, but the thought process was actually that I didn’t think the lineup was fair for a first round, and that the act of seeding a character we know damn well is popular among horny bloggers being lined up with notably less popular characters I very rarely see people going ham for. Did I say that? No lmao, that point was left to the wind and this was the result.

You are correct to not assume the fandom and fun post was related to my responses to the anon, it 100% was not. I had moved on by then and was thinking about how my favorite rarepairs now have people talking about them and telling me it's because I made it look fun or interesting. Back In My Day and frankly what I’m used to, it’s fandom that’s broken into little groups that talk about a character/ship/trope most often, while also branching out now and then into larger fandom when they catch an event the other group is doing. I do stand by the fact you have to make your own corner of this fandom, not just to convince anyone but because that’s what is going to make it worth participating in the first place.

This is a different topic than fans of color pointing out that the largest groups are for white m/m ships and made up of mainly white fans, and what that comes with in the larger scheme of things. I have 0 intention of speaking over that, which is why I make and share a lot of posts about fandom positivity, and roping your friends into a good time, while also sharing posts from fans of color outlining the problems they face in fandom.

TL,DR; If I do something shitty, anyone can pull me aside and say “hey dude, that sucked” and I will listen if they want to go into further detail. This has happened plenty of times already and will happen plenty more, does not hurt my feelings. I also do not trust anons to do this or actually care about the outcome. I’m sorry that I caused you distress with my response to the latter.

[kim-poce]

4. Witches Are Meant to Burn: Sculpted

On Patreon | First | Previous

=-=

The trip was the usual, train for the first part, carriage for the second, and walking for the last, the terrain was often steep. It normally would be just plain tiring. It was just plain tiring until we got close to the library, then it was tiring and so hot. I’ll need to decrease the number of coats in my wardrobe while I’m here. Everyone was really excited the whole time, I was more exhausted than anything. I didn’t have time to rest, though, soon I was seated at the big circular table in this overly bright room made yesterday just so this meeting could be held.

Oh right! I should introduce myself, it’s late I know but I’m not used to stepping out of my field, and in my field, everyone (to who I talk) already knows me. I’m Professor Ernestine Ruos-Aliene de Patry, an etymologist as you must have guessed. Well, I study several fields but whenever I have to keep it short I boil it down to etymology.

I work mostly at Jitarin Academy, however, I don't work for Jutarin Academy, it’s more like, they help me get resources for projects and I earn them renown, this relationship had been working for several years now, and after I got into the group of people that chose who will work on what the academy began to accept any request of mine.

The meeting was going on as lively as usual,  I tried to ignore slight nausea I was feeling for about half an hour already. Maybe I shouldn’t have joined Tina on her unhealthy meals earlier today. I hope Hector has medicine on him because the closest apothecary is over 500 kilometers on foot plus thirty minutes on horse from here and none of my students would like to go there now.

On the bright side, The Podium Library was just two kilometers away. Getting to the library will be a pain, though. One thing that I learned from studying history is how much the ancient people on this continent loved caves. They aren’t good economically speaking, it’s not every one that has enough tourist value to attract that many people, they do not help merchants and business between different places, but caves are natural and (sometimes) habitable, many villages were built around some agglomeration of small caves, and only when these were all occupated that they would go to build buildings. There are many theories of why. I myself wrote a couple of books on how the demonization of the new and the changes caused the fear of the effect of the hands of god had on the hands of fate were related to so many caves being used as the starting point of most cities, but what is relevant now is that, as expected of someplace from the Fog Age, the Podium Library was underground.

“Is the ground really stable?” Professor Viane Ji-Dober asked, someone had to, the library had been evacuated just an hour ago due to the risk of a cave-in, not that something had happened, not knowing if something will happen was the issue. “We are talking about dozens of academics here, so we must be sure if it’s safe or not so we can get the Acceptance Of Risk papers ready.”

“Although the entrance broke down, the ground and structure seem fine,” Markus Virtus —Portia’s representative— said while tapping his fingers on his left hand.

“We need more than seems fine,” Professor Gione Petar said, “Will you take responsibility if the centuries-old archives are damaged? Do you have any idea how important this place is?”

“I know how much-”

“Oh no, you do not.”

“Professor Gione, that’s enough. We don’t need to talk about how important is to be sure the library is safe, we obviously needed to be sure before letting everyone in, —” I glared at him, the very one who put his students in the library before knowing it was safe “—What we need to talk is why it has been two days and a proper team wasn’t called yet.”

“You get here late and want to complain about the decision we made in your absence? You don’t have the right to complain!” Professor Jayon Bullar snapped.

“I have if you are being an idiot!”

“Idiot? You are suggesting we send a group of brute people who know nothing about what they are putting their hand on down there because of what? Because you are scared of a possible cave-in? It survived centuries! Why would it break now?”

“I swear for the hands of god that if you truly think that’s how-”

“Can we… uh… calm down?” Markus tried, “If one of you goes with the team it’ll be fine, right? Any… volunteer?”

I glanced around at the mostly old and out-of-shape people that formed that group, none of which are fit to go with the team down the library. No one volunteered, of course, and sending a student was out of question (unless you are Gione Petar, but he doesn’t count). Well, we’ll be here for a long time, aren’t we?

“Why are you so grumpy?” Lucas asked after I told them how the meeting went. “You’ll get to see the library before them! That’s luck!”

“Yeah, join our risk measuring team down to a maybe-instable-maybe-not ancient cave is the best definition of lucky!” I said, rolling my eyes. “Did I tell you they decided on the shorter stick?”

“yes you t-”

“Who makes this kind of decision on the shorter stick?!”

“Someone who spent years studying the saying “witches are meant to burn” is asking why they let this important decision up to luck?” Tina asked, raising her eyes brown.

“Fair.”

“When are you going?” June asked.

“Tomorrow morning, after eating some proper food, and resting a bit,” I answered, Hector had the medicine, all I needed now was to join June for meals instead of Tina.

“Time for them to get the Acceptance Of Risk form ready and for the team to arrive,” Sandra commented.

“Yeah, if they had it ready they would try sending me down there today.”

“Why is everyone here an egg?” Tina asked.

“Why do you call people eggs?” Sandra asked. Wrong question.

“Don’t ask.” Me, June, and Luca said at the same time. “Tina no.”

Tina obviously ignored us. “So, do you know about the primordial soup…”

I sighed. This, too, would take a while.

Soon (or kind of) it was morning, the night was hot, and no one told me this place would be so hot. But apart from this, it was a good night of sleep. We had slept in a tent about one kilometer away from the entrance of the library. The terrain was mostly rocks, steep rocks, but luckily we had found enough plain areas to camp on, the groups did have to be somewhat far away from each other, though. If the cave is safe we’ll certainly move into the library. I know I’ll.

I was nervous, but it wasn’t my first rodeo. We had all the equipment to made it as safe as possible, and I had a whole team who actually knew what they were doing with me. So I took a deep breath and started. 

The cave was pretty I’ll give it that. The entrance was small and hard to go by, the first part didn’t seem to be changed much, if at all, from its natural formation. The team was really patient in helping me down on the harder and narrower parts, none of them let it out that it was annoying to have someone slowing them down.

As soon as we got deeper inside the walls changed. The dark reddish walls were more and more gray, and smother. It was to the point the ground became totally plain and the wall formed are perfect semicircle over our hands. I hadn’t arrived at the library yet, but I knew it was from the last part of the Fog Age, near the end. You can tell by the changes on the walls, you see, ancient people wouldn’t change it like this. They wouldn’t mold the place in fear of the disasters it would bring.

“It probably had an actual entrance,” I commented. “Leading out, the path we came from isn’t the same they used to take back then.”

“I hope you are not planning on breaking the walls or something,” the team leader, Maliane, said, showing how much she trust us.

“I can’t say you don’t want to, but we won’t actually do something this stupid.”

Maliane nodded, but it was clear that she didn’t believe me.

“You meet Gione, right? Short, thin, angry.” I asked.

“... yes.”

Yeah. She has a reason not to trust us.

“This is the entrance,” the young woman leading us said, gesturing to a cube hole in the walls, each side had two meters. If one didn’t look closely one would think it’s just a cube carved into the cave wall.

The entrance was hidden, we had to walk into this dark cube to access this, also dark, narrow pathway. Twenty meters in, and going right was the actual library’s entrance. We lit the place up, but our flashlights weren’t enough to show everything so the team started attaching lights on the floor.

Two bronze doors were fallen down, five meters tall and about half of it wide. Looking closely it was ten centimeters thick. It was hard to tell just yet if this was for aesthetic purposes or if they wanted this library to be out of reach this much. As the place became brighter the craving on the doors was more visible, the details were shaped like processed jewels, just like Gione’s students had told. I would take a closer look later, but at that moment there was something more important than the drawing on a door.

I glanced at the now partially lighted-up library. It was… amazing. There were so many books, I know it’s a library, but it’s from Fog Age. We know barely a thing about that time and it’s like life handed down this much data as a gift. The bookshelves also drew my attention, they aren’t built, they were sculpted. Everything I could see was connected, it was as if that place was never a natural cave, maybe this whole large library was sculpted.

“We’ll start,” the team leader said, I didn’t really care much about how they were going to check the library. I knew part of the team was outside and I knew everyone was caring tools, but my only whole in there was to let them know if they are damaging some ancient thing they shouldn’t touch, so I could take my time to look around without a problem.

I thought I could take my time to look around without a problem. I realized I was wrong the second I stepped into the library.

=-=

@kathea @extemporary-username @wolfeyedwitch

[sassylady1103]

The Pawn Shop

Following our outing at Christmas, Colleen expected me to just stay home, and I tried! But one afternoon, while I was gathering some corn and Starlight berries at the farm next door, I looked up, thinking about what was across the street. I could see a faded yellow sign reading “Pawn Shop”, and I could see the top of Vault Tec University’s clock tower. I walked through the razor grain toward the fence line to get a better look. What could it hurt?

I could read the sign more clearly…Buy, Sell, Trade. I had no idea what a pawn shop was, but it sounded like it could have potential treasure inside! I wanted so badly to hop the fence and see if I could get in, but Colleen would start worrying, so I headed back through the yards to the house. With all the trees between us and the farm, you can’t see Morgantown at all. It struck me that adventure was so near, yet so far.

As I drew water from the creek and sat at the fire pit to boil it, I couldn’t help but mentally wander over to Morgantown again. It was really a neat little town, even if it wasn’t how Colleen remembered…or a little dangerous. This pawn shop, and the idea of exploring Morgantown more, stayed with me…I wanted to see more of what Colleen showed me. There was still a world out there, and I needed to see it!

Colleen came in my room yesterday. Like, the sun was barely up! She was very excited, carrying on about the Overseer and getting a message on her Pip Boy…I never got a message. I couldn’t even keep straight what she was trying to say…something about the Overseer was asking former Vault dwellers to meet her or something. She ran to her room and started throwing clothes in her backpack. I asked her what she was doing? We had no idea where the Overseer was! She left a couple tapes, but it sounded like she was on some kind of walk down memory lane to me. Regardless, here was my overly cautious sister, grabbing supplies, ammo, her gun and flying out the door. So, home alone again.

Then I had a brilliant idea…Colleen wasn’t the only one who can run off on adventure! I got my own backpack prepped with a little lunch and some tools and bobby pins so I could pick that locked door. I put on my best “outdoor” outfit and cut through the yards to the farm. Yep, I was going to check out that Pawn Shop!

As I climbed the fence and started to cross the street, I looked over and saw something that almost made me fall over! There was a lady picking through a car in the middle of the road, and she looked too rough to be a from Vault 76. I froze. I wasn’t sure if I should approach her. I wasn’t getting any sense of danger or anything from her, but Colleen said there were raiders out there. Well, my curiosity got the best of me. Trying to sound friendly I said “hello” and waved a little. I got the feeling she wasn’t expecting anyone by the way she popped her head up. She didn’t pull a gun, so I walked a little closer and she asked “you wouldn’t happen to have a bobby pin on ya?” I asked her where she was from, where she was staying, if she was from a Vault…no, she said, no Vault. “I’m from Flatwoods, ‘riginally. We all headed to Gauley mine to try to avoid them bombs. Did pretty well there, until Johnny came down with the plague. Brought it to the rest of us. I lit outta there fore it got me. Been stayin where I can. Figured I’d see how picked over Morgantown’s gotten. What about you? You look too clean to be a survivor. You one of them Vault people that’s runnin around these parts now?” For the first time, I was ashamed that my family had it so well in the Vault, and I’d never given a thought to what or who was left outside. I mumbled yes, and she went back to her digging through the car. “Here” I said as I handed her one of my bobby pins, “I hope this helps”. She smiled real big and thanked me, and then did the most amazing thing…she handed me a silver pocket watch. I just looked at her. “Well it’s not like it runs no more. Don’t look at me like that. Thanks for this. I’ll take good care to not break it”. And with that, she was gone, jogging down the road.

I went on to the Pawn Shop, feeling like I should have invited her with me, but she was far down the road before I got my wits back around me. People. There were people out here! I needed to tell Colleen, but then I’d get in trouble for leaving. I’d think about that later. Looking at the shop, where the door should have been, there was a piece of wood nailed over to the frame inside. I checked around the edges and found some soft areas at the bottom…it was rotting from water exposure. I pulled my screw driver out, and pried at it. Soon I had a opening big enough to grab and pulled that wood off. It didn’t come off cleanly, as it was holding tight on the top portion under the awning, but I ended up with a big enough space to crawl through. After working up my courage and finding the best way to hold my screw driver to use as a weapon, I crawled inside.

What a goldmine! This place hadn’t been touched, I don’t think. There was so much stuff piled on shelves, tables, counters. There was ammo, guns, clothing, lamps, old furniture. There was no way I could haul it all home and now that it was open, I was afraid to leave it. I had the idea flash into my mind to open my own shop. If there were people out there, then maybe they’d want to trade for some of this stuff! I’ll call it Mag’s Shop, of course!

Walking through the quiet, dusty shop was like seeing bits of the past. I wondered if Mama ever came here. There was a tray of lockets and pocket watches, rings and fancy necklaces. Maybe she bought some for herself? I put a few pieces in my backpack. I’m sure nobody needs fancy jewellery anymore, but I liked them.

I stuffed what would fit in my backpack. I still had to be able to walk home, too. I found the cutest blue skirt with a little white dog on it. That went in, along with a black and white polka dotted scarf. Cute! So, I guess I have plans for the next several days. Good thing I already cleaned out the cellar!

I’ll write more once I get the shop open. As long as Colleen doesn’t kill me, of course. I hope she’s doing ok. Still can’t believe she rushed off to find the Overseer like that.

So until then,

Mags

[mercur1e]

Helllooooo

Soo I just saw you're headcannons are literally 💞💞

It's lowkey the only thing keeping me safe and alive ✋😌......soooooo can I request Gom + kuroko and kagami (if it's to much you can just doo Aomine, Kise and Midorima and akashi)where they accidentally hurt their s/o feelings pleaaseeeeee..... I need some angst but please end it in fluff (cuz i lowkey cannot handle it)

Please take care of yourself, your health always comes first, I love youuuu ❤❤❤

Ofc love! I hope you're doing well and I love you too :) <333

Akashi

He disregarded your hard work :(

You're trying to start your own small business and you're having a little trouble, which is not unusual that happens sometimes!

You were having trouble hiring employees and you were talking to him about it, and he was in a bad mood prior to you approaching him

"You're not going anywhere with this. It would just be better to give up on it. You're not going to make it that far even if you do succeed. And can you leave? I'm busy and all you're doing is acting as a distraction."

You just froze, you couldn't believe what he had just said

Not only did he know how much work you were putting in, he also knew how excited you were for the future of your shop too

You didn't even say anything, you just froze with shock, hurt, and surprise and stomped out of his office

You left the house, you needed some time to cool off and cry

It took Akashi a second to realize what he had said and how hurtful his words were, so he started looking all over for you in the house. He goes into the garage to see your car is gone and he assumes the worst.

You don't pick up the phone when he calls you or answer his texts, opting to turn it off after the fifth call.

You stay by your best friend for the night and they comforted you and told you he probably didn't mean it, and that you can stay as long as you need

After you leave from by your friends place you go to your favorite cafe for some breakfast

And guess who's there, Akashi.

You turn around and walk out because you were honestly not ready to deal with him just yet and it was too early in the morning for all that

He catches you on the way out and apologizes :)

"Love, I apologize for what I said yesterday. It was inconsiderate, hurtful, and wrong. You've been working so hard on your business and you're doing your best to make it happen. I was in a bad mood yesterday and I dont know what came over me. Will you forgive me?"

Looking you in the eye as he spoke every word, holding your hands and rubbing them, you know he was truly sorry and wants to fix what he did.

"I forgive you Sei, but what you said was really hurtful. You know how much this means to me and how much work I've been putting in. But I do forgive you."

He takes you out to eat at your favorite restaurant and watch a movie afterwards back at home, kisses you tons and holds you in his arms when you fall asleep.

He also puts in a good word with his work associates about your business and you gain more employees and popularity! But unless you want to do it completely on your own he's there supporting you every step of the way and giving you advice :)

Midorima

He acts like your affection is kryptonite, even though you're not a clingy or overly-affectionate person

You guys had been together for about 3-4 months

He always brushes you off even at the most simplest acts of affections, you're starting to really question if he even wants to be together.

Well this particular time he embarrassed you in front of the team :/

There was a break in between practice and you went to give him his water bottle and give him a hug

"Hey Shin he's your water bottle, don't work yourself too hard okay?"

After that you went in for a quick hug but he held a hand against your chest and glared at you

"Why are you always so clingy? You're always on me and its annoying. Can you just leave me alone or leave?"

He said that right in the middle of the court, everyone's eyes were on you and you felt embarrassed.

"...alright."

That's all you after said you shoved the water bottle into his hand and walked out of the gym.

Takao was the one to call him out on his behavior and tell him that he was being rude and that he should apologize

Midorima took that advice and after practice, he went to find you and apologize, except you weren't anywhere he checked or thought you would be

You avoided him for 3 days straight until he arrived at your house unannounced

Your lucky item in his hand, he gives you a well deserved apology

"Y/N I- I'm sorry that I was being rude to you. There was no reason for me to act like that and I haven't been appreciating you like I should. That was rude of me and I hope you except my apology. Also- this is your uh lucky item."

He hands you a plushie :)

He gives you hugs and reassures you that he appreciates your affections despite him not being used to it!

He also got an extra lap at practice from Miyaji lol but he decided not to tell you that part

Kise

Is very busy and it's sometimes hard to make time for you :(

And you also couldn't show him affection in public or be around him because his fangirls would throw a hissy fit

He hasn't been answering his phone and he can't really get that close to you at school so you've been feeling left behind

When you finally managed to catch him, you said you wanted to go out and just catch up because you two haven't spent much time together and he agreed

However Kise forgot about the plans and you were waiting at the restaurant, alone.

You went home that night upset, tired, and wondering if you even want to be in a relationship anymore

You stopped texting him and talking to talk to him at school, not that you even had that much time to talk to him and school anyway

Kise had realised a whole day later that he had forgotten about the plans you two had made together

He took off from work the whole week, even though his manager was mad about it and went off to find you

He found you at a park after school and approached you with flowers in his hand

"Y/N baby I'm so sorry I forgot about our date. I can't imagine how you must've felt and to make up for it I called the whole week off! I'm really, really sorry that I havent had time for you. Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah, I forgive you Kise I'm just really hurt that you stood me up. You knew we hadn't spent alot of time together and I was really hoping to catch up with you that night. But I'm just happy you're here."

He takes you to a concert! Your favorite artist was in town and he bought tickets for the two of you!

The whole week was filled with fun, love, and lots of conversations :)

He promises to make more time for you and be there for you whenever he can!

He also posts you on his socials and shows you affection at school, showing his fangirls that he's not for them, but for you and they can go away of they don't like that

Aomine

You feel like he doesn't put any effort into the relationship

It's always you doing everything, it just gets tiring

He doesn't really make an effort to do anything, like plan dates, hang out, or just spend time together

He also uses basketball as an excuse to not hang out with you when you already know he's not at practice

Like if you want alone time man just say that

So you had planned a date for you two, nothing big just going to the movie theaters yk

He cancelled last minute, saying Imayoshi was forcing him to come to practice

It was a sunday, they don't have practice in sunday

You talked to Momoi as she is a close friend of yours too, about how you feel like you're the only one making an effort and that you feel like he doesn't want to spend time with you

She tells you to confront him about it, so you do

The next time Daiki comes to your house you ask him about it

"It just feels like I'm the only one putting work into the relationship and I feel like you're avoiding me. You make up excuses to not be with me and bail on me last minute...do you even want to be with me? And if you do want alone time just be upfront about it, don't give me terrible excuses or flake out on me."

Aomine honestly didn't know you felt that way

Now that he looks back at it, it has been mainly you doing most of the stuff in the relationship, and he can see why you feel like it's only you trying

"You're right, it has been mainly you doing stuff for both of us. I'm gonna start putting in more effort because it's time I do. I'm sorry that I've been making shitty excuses to not hang out with you, and cancelling all of a sudden. I'll be honest when I don't feel like going out and I'll spend more time with you."

He makes it up to you by taking you to a festival and going to see a movie with you

True to his word, he starts putting more effort into y'alls relationship and you two take turns planning dates

And if he doesn't feel like going out you guys have at home dates instead :)

I know this took a little longer than usual, I'm sorry for the little setback. Hopefully you like them! Thank you for requesting and feedback is appreciated! Love you <333

[rothjuje]

Found out we get our keys on the 13th!!! 🥳

Will be hotel-bound until the 15th but I am very excited to explore our property and let them run around the house and yard on the 14th, maybe even the evening of the 13th, unsure of when they are actually leaving.

I’ve become friends with the wife of who bought our house. She’s super sweet and has sent me pictures of her sons enjoying the place. They looked for a year and it was the only house they both loved and they are so happy to be there, which makes me so happy.

Everyone slept last night and today has been much more manageable. I planned yesterday around naps, took a long and beautiful drive out to Gloucester (obsessed, can’t wait to actually go to the beach there), all 3 kids napped in the car and it was amazing. Then went to Friendship park (our favorite, will have to come back once we move). Wore the kids out, then long bubble bath to relax the twins, and everyone slept through the night. Gas is crazy right now, so I can’t be taking 2.5 hour joy rides regularly, but the change of scenery sure was nice.

I’m really looking forward to being out of the city. The smaller parks in TX were usually deserted, so I’m not used to huge, crowded parks. I don’t feel comfortable bringing the dog (who technically isn’t allowed anyway) and trying to keep an eye on all 3 kids by myself amongst a bunch of people.

I plan on getting a bunch of play equipment for the backyard at the new place so we don’t constantly have to leave to get our wiggles out (there are two playgrounds near where we live and they’re 3x as far as they were from us in TX). Maybe I’ll build a tree fort in the middle of our forest so we can take mini hikes there.

I’d like to do a stock tank pool (they’re adorable, I went in one as a kid and it’s one of my favorite memories) but am super worried about drowning. It’s something I obsessively worry about. It was a very common issue in north Texas and I ended up reading a lot of detailed stories about children drowning (it happens silently so don’t ever step away from the bathtub, parents have slept through or didn’t hear back door alarms and pool gate alarms, even though both the back door and pool gate were locked, etc). So I still feel like kids can drown no matter how safe you are, and it even happens to famous people with unlimited resources/extra sets of eyes.

But I also don’t want my anxiety to limit my children. Am I being overly cautious?

Speaking of anxiety, do I need to worry about the kids falling off our second story deck? It’s large and beautiful and I wanted to put a kids’ picnic table out there and their tricycles. My mom is worried they will stand on the table or tricycle and fall to their death. They never attempted to stand on our last backyard table, and I could keep it away from the edge.

We could alternatively do an outdoor dining table out there and eat out there when it’s nice. But I don’t really want to stare at a huge table that will block the view. And Justin wanted to do a dining area with a pergola and lights on the side yard.

I was really excited to have the second story deck as an outside play area, but maybe that’s not realistic/safe. Thoughts?

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Thursday (Part 2)

Monday     Tuesday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, puking, concussions, mentions of injuries/bullying, homophobia

Word count: 5,138

After school, you were sitting on the couch as you furiously typed on your keyboard at an extremely fast pace. You were on a roll with these essays, they were probably going to be finished by the time you had to go back to the school to get on the bus with the team. You figured that you could even finish Annie’s essay and get started on Sammy’s US history presentation on the sociopolitical climate of the United States in the mid twentieth century to today. However, instead of covering a variety of topics like the rubric requested you to do, you were only going to talk about the significant events that happened to the LGBT+ community starting with Stonewall and going to Obergefell v. Hodges. You were also going to go in depth about how even if there are more opportunities available and more laws set in place to protect for LGBT+ people in the present then there were in past, members of the LGBT+ community still suffer heavy discrimination in the workplace and in the public. With receipts of course, the assignment required a minimum of three pictures per slide, and the group chat was a perfect source.

After that was done, you would email Sammy’s teacher (you had her last year for US history and you knew that she had a son in the grade below you currently transitioning from female to male) that you were the one that did her project and send screenshots of Sammy calling you slurs. Luckily for you, you had receipts of her being transphobic in the past that you could also send. Everything was effortlessly falling into place for you today. 

As you were typing, the front door swung open and two overly excited fifth graders ran into the house and up the stairs. A tired Schlatt followed them. “I will never know how the hell Phil keeps up with them.” 

“I dunno, maybe because he’s already raised three kids before.”

You watched as your uncle jumped and whipped his head over towards you, his hand clutching his chest. He lightly glared at you, “christ kid don’t do that, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

You smirked at him before turning back to your laptop to continue typing the essay. You were almost done with the conclusion paragraph on Annie’s essay and you wanted to get to Sammy’s presentation as fast as possible. As you were typing, you felt a warm air fan across your neck and your uncle’s voice right next to your ear, “whatcha typin?”

You lept off the couch and almost fell into the coffee table before steadying yourself and deadpanning at Schlatt. “I was typing an essay before you interrupted me.”

He snorted, “it looked like you were on a roll, just thought I’d see what my beloved niece was writing. Can I read it?” 

Your eyes lit up as an excited grin split your cheeks, “yeah, but lemme catch you up real quick. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie got mad at me a few days ago and wanted me to do some homework for them as a sort of payment. But after they pulled that little stunt in the lunchroom yesterday, they decided to be little bitches to me and call me slurs. So naturally, I decided to change the essay prompt into an in depth analysis about discrimination LGBT people face from their peers on the daily. My english teacher’s really against homophobia and the project’s worth twenty five percent of our overall grade, so it’s perfect.”

While you were rambling on and on about your detailed plot for revenge, Schlatt couldn’t help but be proud of the person you’d become. A major part of him was impressed that you came up with a detailed plan so quickly, that meant that his cunning nature was rubbing off on you and that made him ecstatic. Sure you mentioning not being straight was new to him, but he was prepared to accept you for whatever you identified as. He didn’t care how people identified, he just cared if they were good people. And his niece was one of the best kids he knew. He’d let your slip up slide for now until you felt comfortable enough to properly come out to him. 

“That an amazing plan, fuckin brilliant. Though, you could do more.”

That piqued your interest, “I’m listening.”

“Do you have any blackmail?”

Your eyes glinted with sudden understanding, “why yes I do, uncle dearest. I just so happen to have thousands of texts from them talking shit about each other and basically the entire school. And them being incredibly racist. They would be destroyed if that came out.” 

“Two things. One, never call me that again. Two, perfect. Keep it as leverage if they try to do something. You don’t pull out all the good cards in the first round, you wait for the right moment to strike so you can win. You need to constantly defend yourself against other players and anticipate their every move. If you leak everything right now, you won’t have anything to use against them if they have something up their sleeve you didn’t know about. Patience is key in things like this.”

You absorbed every single word that came out of his mouth like it was the holy gospel. Although he was your uncle and you loved him with all your heart, but he was a sly bastard when he wanted to be. He knew his way around fighting and manipulating people just right, so you were incredibly happy that you were on his good side and he absolutely adored you. Though questionable and morally gray, he was giving you advice because he cared about you and you’d be an idiot to not heed his advice. 

“That’s genius, Uncle Schlatt. What would I do without you?”

“You’d get along just fine without me, you would’ve gotten there eventually. You’re smart. I’m just givin you a little push in the right direction.”

“I honestly would’ve never thought about waiting, I was so dead set on getting revenge that I would’ve just leaked everything all at once. I want them to feel how I felt when they were around me. I-” you paused. Would this make you the same as them? You’d be screwing up all their grades, Adrian’s job, and Sammy’s athletic career. You came to the chilling realization that you’d be the same as them. You’d be as manipulative as they were. “...Uncle Schlatt, would that make me the same as them?”

“Fuck no! You’re always gonna be better than them no matter what. When they’re at their best, you’re always gonna be a whole lot better than them. They deserve what’s happening to them, it sounds like they put you through so much shit the past few years. I actually think you could do a whole lot worse to them if you’re willing to put more work in, but it’s your plan and if you think that what you’re doing is too much,” he darkly chuckled, “you wouldn’t like my idea.”

“You’re right, they deserve everything I have planned for them. God, I don’t know what I was thinking, ‘would that make me the same as them,’” you mocked what you said earlier, “what a load of shit. Anyways, thanks Uncle Schlatt. I’m gonna get back to writing this. They’re due tomorrow and I wanna finish as much as I can before I have to go.”

“Alright, whaddya want for dinner? Phil’s gonna be like thirty minutes late from work so I’m cookin tonight.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. That man can barley cook boxed mac n cheese, let alone anything else. He’d burn down the house if you left him alone in the kitchen with the stove. “On second thought, why don’t I help you with dinner? We can make some chicken alfredo.”

“Awe, you’d rather hang out with me than finish your homework? Ya really do love me. C’mon let’s start.”

The process of making dinner was… interesting. Multiple times, Schlatt almost spilled boiling water on himself and he even managed to burn the pasta while it was in the water. How he even managed to do that you’d never find out, you had your back turned cutting up vegetables and herbs at the time. That was when you subtly started to take over in the kitchen, giving him smaller tasks while you handled everything else. You felt bad for Tubbo, his father can’t cook for shit. 

By time you finished, about an hour passed and Philza had come home and changed out of his work clothes. The two adults sat at the table discussing something that you didn’t pay attention to while your brothers and cousin were in the living room waiting for you to finish dinner. Finally, you set the table and it was time to eat. 

Because you couldn’t have many fatty foods before any matches or practices, you had made a separate plate for yourself that only had plain pasta, chicken, and broccoli. You were surprised with how well it turned out, you were following an iffy recipe you found on the first link Google brought up. 

After dinner, you went upstairs to put your uniform on and pack a little bag full of things you might need: a small blanket, some snacks, a water bottle, and a portable charger. Oh, and fuzzy socks and a pair of crocs. You could never go wrong with fuzzy socks and crocs. Feeling a vibration in your pocket, you pulled out your phone.

Hales : )

(Y/n), I’m omw to your house

Gonna give you a ride to the school

(Y/n)

Hales you don’t have to give me a ride, I can drive

Hales : )

Don’t care

Omw, be there in like 7 mins

You swiped out of yours and her conversation and opened up the family group chat

(Y/n)

I don’t need a ride to the school, Haley’s giving me one

She’s gonna give me a ride home too

Dadza

Alright, thank her for me

Tell her I said good luck too!

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do

Dadza

(Y/n), do everything he wouldn’t do

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck you I’m a good influence

Dadza

You’re really not

Wilby

^^^^

Technology Sword

^

Uncle Schlatty Patty

Fuck all of you 

You heard Haley’s car pull into the driveway and dashed out of your room with your bag. Just as you put your hand on the doorknob, a hand stopped you.

“Coat.”

You grumbled as you reached past Philza to grab your coat. After you slipped it on, you were pulled into a hug. “You’re gonna do great out there. I know you’re gonna win this, we’ll be watching in the stands.”

“Damn right she’s gonna do good, she’s my niece after all.”

Schlatt pulled you away from your father’s hug and tried to ruffle your hair before you swatted away his hand, “don’t. You have no idea how long it took me to get a perfect ponytail. I have an ungodly amount of hairspray and bobby pins in my hair right now.”

“Fine. You’re gonna kick their asses tonight.”

Tommy and Tubbo pushed past Schlatt and both tackled you into a hug making you stumble slightly back. 

“Kick their asses good (y/n)!” Tommy cheered, making you crack up before one stern glance from Philza completely stopped you. “Tommy, don’t say that. (Y/n), not funny.”

“Alright, Haley’s waiting for me. I gotta go, love you guys!” As you turned to walk through the door, you could hear your family following you and shouting “good luck”. You felt heat creep up on your cheeks as Haley rolled down her window and wove at your family with the biggest grin on her face. 

“Thank you! We’re gonna take home the gold for sure!”

You hopped in her car as she rolled up the window and chuckled. “I love your family, they’re always so full of energy. It’s refreshing to see compared to how boring my family is.”

You glanced at your entire family gathered on the front porch. Tommy and Tubbo were practically vibrating with excitement, Wilbur and Techno calmly smiled and wove at you, Philza was grinning widely at you as you saw his mouth forming words that you couldn’t hear or read, and Schlatt was grinning cheekily at you. You raised your hand to wave at them as they vanished from view when Haley pulled out of your driveway. You smiled softly, “I love em too.”

The car ride was relatively quick with the same soft indie pop music floating from the speakers and an easy going conversation with Haley about the match tonight. You both thought that you could beat the other team if everyone focused 100% and played exactly like you guys did in practices. If everyone did that, you would be unstoppable. 

Luckily for you and Haley, you were the first ones in line to board the bus so you two got the back seat with Zara and Jazzy sitting across from you guys. The hour long bus ride passed quickly and lively with you four passing around your phone and playing some mad libs, you were sure that by the end of the last game you four were laughing and crying. Sometime in the middle of the trip, you noticed that Haley would start to lean on your shoulder and continuously glance at you as she laughed. You desperately wanted to believe that it was because she liked you, but she was straight and she was your best friend. She was probably trying to make sure you were having a good time. 

When the team had gotten to the opposing school and left the locker room to stretch in the gym, you could hear your family start to scream your and Haley’s names from the front row next to you, Tommy and Tubbo being the loudest amongst them with Philza trying to get them to quiet down so you could focus. You felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at them and Haley wove enthusiastically back at them. Zara was laughing at you two. Stretching went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were on the court facing the opposing team. 

The first match was won by the opposing team by five points. The second match stretched on and on until it was won by your team narrowly by two points. The team was going to have to shape up in the third match if you guys wanted a chance at winning, the opposing team was good. Before the third match started, Coach Williams called for a time out so you guys could talk about strategy. Before Haley could go back onto the court, you pulled her aside.

“Hales, we need to do what we practiced. The other team won’t be expecting it at all, I’ve been setting you up this entire game. They’re never going to expect you setting me up for a spike.”

“When are we going to do it though? We need a better plan.”

“I’m sure the opportunity will come and both of us will recognize it. We just can’t do it too early in the game though, that’ll ruin their surprise.”

“(Y/n), I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“When do I not Hales? We gotta get gold this year.”

The third round went by with both teams constantly swapping places until you both were tied fifteen to fifteen. You saw the ball flying towards Haley, giving her the perfect opportunity to set you up for a spike.  “HALEY NOW!” 

You watched as her face hardened in determination as she pretended like she was going to spike it by jumping high in the air and stretching her arms back, making the opposing front row players all gather in front of her. Much to their surprise, she launched it towards you as you leaped up and went for the kill. The stinging of the ball hit by your wrist and the smack sound the ball made when it slammed onto the open gym floor was something you’d never forget as the crowd around you went wild over the unexpected play. You could hear the high pitched screaming of Tommy and Tubbo over everybody else. Glancing at them over your shoulder, you saw them jumping up and down on the gym floor and looking at you with awe filled eyes and gaping mouths. The rest of your family looked at you with similar expressions, their cheers echoing in your mind. Winking at them, you turned back to your team and went straight to Haley. Clapping a hand on her shoulder, you pulled her into a quick hug, yelling over the raving of the crowd. “HALEY WE NAILED THAT!” 

“HOLY SHIT I DID NOT THINK THAT WAS ACTUALLY GONNA WORK!”

“You have such little faith in your setter! You wound me Hales.”

“Well, I would have more faith in you if you weren’t chaotic on the court, sweetheart.”

You felt yourself surge in happiness at the nickname, but you couldn’t afford to focus too much on it. Your team only needed one more point to win best in the state and go to nationals. It would be the first time in your team’s history if you reached national level, and you’d be damned if you were the one to screw it up for them. 

The last rotation went on for a while, each team fighting tooth and nail for the state championship title with clashing determination. You tried your best to block every hit and try to set Haley up for a spike, and you were successful for the most part, only missing a few blocks. You saw the setter adjacent to you set the spiker up for a spike and jumped up in time to try to block it, your arms stretched upwards and your palms out. Only, the ball didn’t hit your hands. It collided painfully with your nose, ricocheted off your face with a thwack and sailed over to the other side of the court. Your head whipped back as your body followed suit and flew backwards onto the floor. Without giving you any time to react, your head bounced back and cracked against the polished hardwood floor of the gym. Everything went black. 

“...(y……”

“..(y/n)......”

“(Y/n).”

You faintly heard someone calling someone’s name over the continuous ringing noise. Was it your name? It felt right, so it had to be your name. You peeled your eyes open to see a blurry figure hovering over you. It was swirled with tans, browns, and backs. After a while of the figure repeating your name, it slowly became more recognizable, albeit appearing twice in your vision. It took you a while to figure out who this was before your muddled brain recognized Haley.

“Hales! There’s two o’ya. Twice as beautiful babe…” You slurred out as you attempted to smile at her.

“Oh thank god, PLEASE WE NEED A DOCTOR SHE HIT HER HEAD!” Her usually angelic voice gritted against your brain like sandpaper making you cringe as pain exploded in your head.

“God babe you’re so loud, why’s so bright? I-wha's goin on?” You blearily tried to move your head to look around only to be stopped by a pair of large hands on each side of your head gently holding it in place. You moved your laggy eyes around to look at the figure. He was a blonde man with blue eyes and a hint of stubble on his chin. His eyebrows were knitted together and he looked… he looked… your brain worked to figure out why he looked how he looked. Who was he?

“Please don’t move hun.” His muffled voice was baritone. You squinted at him trying to figure out who this man was.

“Who th f-fuck… why?”

“I’m your dad hun. Do-do you not recognize me?” You made a noise in the back of your throat as your stuffy brain finally put a name to the face.

“Dad- wha’s goin on? I’on feel so good…”

“Shh, I know, I know. Just stop moving and talking. Everything’s fine. I’m here. You’re okay.”

“Mmk… Dad, where are we? I’ont know- you’re so quiet.”

“Stop moving so much. You’re on the floor in a gym. You just won your team the state championship. Now stop talking please.”

Huh. So that’s why everybody seemed to appear from above you. You strained your eyes to look around you, but you could only see your dad’s face hovering above you. “Shit I- who’s aroun’ me? Where’s Hales?”

“I’m right here sweetheart. I got the doctor, Mr. Minecraft.”

Your dad’s face moved away from your vision so fast that it made your head spin and your stomach twist. Another face appeared above you that you once again didn’t recognize.

“I’m Doctor Martin, can you tell me your first and last name?”

“Uh, (y/n) Minecraft?”

“Good, what month are we in right now?”

“Nov-November?”

“Close, it’s late October. Can you tell me who this,” he pointed to your dad, “is?”

“S’my dad Phillip.”

“That’s your dad Philza.”

The questioning stopped as he suddenly shined a blinding light into your sensitive eyes. You hissed as you tried to move your head away from the offending light only to be held in place by your dad’s hands. Your head spun as you moved too quickly and a wave of nausea hit you, making you groan and move your arm to cover your eyes. Your hand was stopped by something warm and soft wrapping around it and holding it tightly. Everything was so overwhelmingly and painfully bright and loud. You wanted to make it stop. 

“Mr. Minecraft, your daughter appears to have a concussion. I don’t have the tools on hand to determine the severity of it, but it’s worrying that her pupils are asymmetrical, she’s delirious, and has slight memory loss. I understand you live about an hour away from here, and it’s alright for you to take her to a hospital closer to your house. Make sure you keep her alert.”

Your delirious mind only registered about half of what came out of the doctor’s mouth. You mumbled gibberish as you once again opened your eyes to look around. You were only briefly able to crane your neck to the left. Several figures large and small were standing behind your dad. Your family, your mind supplemented. Slowly, your mind was starting to recognize your surroundings even if there was currently double of everything and everything was blurry.

“I’m going to help you stand up. Do ya think you can do that?”

“Yeah Dad.” You lifted your upper body off from the ground with a gentle hand on your back helping you sit up. Fighting the wave of nausea that slapped you in the face, you reached up to rub at your eyes. A hand once again stopped you. You peeked your eyelids open and lightly glared at whomever stopped you. “Hales you’re lucky you’re so cute I woulda slapped you. I like holdin but you’re bein annoying. Stop.” You attempted to make your voice sound firm, but the words that came out of your mouth were slightly slurred.

She was silent as she helped her dad haul you to your feet. Once on your feet, you saw the room spin and felt yourself start to sway slightly. An arm wrapped itself around your shoulders and pulled you close to them so that your weight was supported. They were a little taller than you were making it easy to lean on them. 

“...Can you walk?” A deep, monotone voice rumbled the chest of the person you were leaning against. 

“Mhm. ‘M not weak.” Though your limbs felt like they were made of molasses, you placed one foot in front of the other slowly. The person moved alongside you, “you’re doing so good, keep going.” That sparked familiarity in you as you stopped in your tracks and tried to look up at the person you were leaning against making the person tighten their arm around your shoulders when you almost fell over.

“Tech?”

“Yeah, it’s Technoblade. Just focus on walking. You’re almost out of the gym.”

When you realized that you were out of the gym, you sighed in relief. It was so much quieter and darker. Though it was still relatively bright, it was better than the gym. 

“S’better.”

“When we get her to the car we can give her some sunglasses or something if it’s still too bright for her.”

“Wilbs-”

“Focus on walking.”

You huffed in irritation, “don’ tell me what to do bitch.”

You felt Techno’s body jolt slightly as he chuckled, making your head throb at the sudden movement. “Just walk.”

When you walked outside, you shivered as you felt the cool air nip at your exposed skin. Right, you were in your volleyball uniform. “I’ll go pull the car around, you guys stay with her.” 

You saw a tall brunet start to walk away from you. Uncle Splat? Uncle Schmat? Whatever his name was, you were sure he was your uncle. You tried to snuggle closer to Techno, craving warmth but never being satisfied. Where was your uncle? 

After a while, you saw a car moving towards you and blinding light pointed right at you making you cringe away and groan. Techno started to slowly walk towards the car. “C’mon (y/n), you’re almost there. When you’re in the car you can relax.”

“Tommy, Tubbo, and Techno, you’re in the back row. Schlatt can drive and Wil, you’re taking the passenger seat. I’ll stay with her in the middle row so she can have some room to lay down.” Tommy and Tubbo were with you? Why weren’t they talking, they usually were very vocal.

“Tom, Tubbs didja like the game?”

They didn’t say anything as they climbed into the car. Did they not hear you? 

“They’re just… tired (y/n).” Your dad’s voice reassured you as he took Techno’s place holding you up. 

“I wanna nap. ‘M so tired.”

“You can’t sleep yet. We gotta get you to a doctor first.”

“Mm. Makes sense.”

“Let’s get you in the car hun.”

As he helped you climb into the car, you felt an overwhelming wave of nausea wash over you making you lose your balance and almost faceplant into the cloth seats. You felt yourself being gently, yet urgently taken out of the car and led to grass as you felt your esophagus shorten. Something burning made its way up your throat and spewed into the grass. You felt someone rubbing your back as you puked up your dinner. 

When you were done, you reached up with a shaking hand to wipe your mouth. “You feelin better? Think you can get back into the car or do you need to sit down for a bit?”

“Car.”

After some difficulty, you were successfully in the middle row of the car laying down with your head on Philza’s lap. Soon enough, your shoes were taken off and a blanket was draped over you. 

“(Y/n), what do you remember?”

You scrunched up your face as you squinted at Philza’s face. “I remember playing volleyball with Hales. She’s so pretty, she’s straight though. I remember the other team hitting the ball, me jumping, then nothin. Wha’ happened?”

You watched as Philza winced, “well, you got everything right so far. You got hit in the face with the ball so you fell and hit your head on the floor. You were passed out for a minute before you woke up. It was a pretty nasty fall, we’re going to the hospital now. How’re ya feelin?”

“Head hurts, ‘m seein two of everything, an I can’t think.”

“Do you know what a concussion is?” You nodded in his lap slightly, “you probably have one.”

After a while of talking, you were slowly starting to come to your senses and your speech was clearing up, but your head was still too stuffy to think about what you were saying before you said it. You didn’t have a filter.

“Do you wanna tell us about your week so far? Do you remember most of it?”

“Mhm, it was shit. On Monday I had a panic attack and Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were being bitches to me all day. They fucked up my back. On Tuesday, they got mad at me for ditching them and they had me do their homework, had another panic attack, and Haley told me that someone took pictures of our boobs ‘n stuff and they were gonna leak it to the school if Haley didn’t stop hanging out with me. Haley and I almost kissed, but she’s straight. Pulled an all nighter and Wednesday I accidentally came out to Tech and Wil and had another panic attack. Annie, Adrian, and Sammy took more pictures of me through my window, Annie outed me to the entire school and slapped me. Another panic attack, skipped the last two classes and felt like shit the entire practice. Today Adrian and Sammy told me to kill myself and I had another panic attack. ’S about it.”

As you were going through your week, the hand that was previously gently stroking your hair had frozen as the car was enveloped in a tense silence. Luckily, Tommy and Tubbo were passed out in the back seat so they didn’t hear how bad your week was. Everyone awake knew that you had a few bad days this week, but they didn’t know the full extent of it. You watched as Philza’s expression had turned downright murderous, but you didn’t really care. You were busy talking about your week.

For the rest of the car ride, Philza asked you simple questions like what your favorite color was, your favorite animal, basically your favorite everything. Eventually, the car pulled into the hospital parking lot and Philza helped you get out of the car. “Schlatt, can you take the boys home so they can get some rest? I’ll stay with her.” 

“Yeah, I’m on it. Don’t cause too much trouble (y/n), we all know you can raise hell.” He watched you for a reaction, but when you didn’t react, he coughed. “Well, I’ll see ya later kid. Good luck.”

The car drove off leaving you and Philza at the front of the emergency room building. “It’s gonna be a long night (y/n).”

“I gotta finish Annie’s essay and Sammy’s presentation though.”

“No you don’t, I’ll email your teachers.”

You two checked in with the front desk before moving to sit on the uncomfortable chairs. It was going to be a long night. You were so tired.

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[arcadejohn127-9]

Hello,, may i request headcanons of the brothers who got a love letter from mc but it turned out to be a prank from some lesser demons,,thank you :))

This was meant to be posted on yesterday for April fools but ended up getting caught up with things irl and didn't get to finish it in time - aaaaaaaand I fell asleep before midnight and now it's 3 am, fell asleep mid way through writing, well done me 😭😂

Rip the lesser demons for always having the balls to cause mischief but always end up getting hurt, when will they learn - what happens at the end is up to you

The lesser demon snickered towards his friend, shushing their friend as they slipped the pink letter into the higher demons locker. Another demon was with them, more timid than the other two.

"what if we get in trouble?! They'll find out it wasn't actually the human and we'll end up dog food-!"

"we planned this whole thing, it'll be fun - we just gotta stay at a distance!"

It was long before footsteps grew closer, the timid demon squeaking in fear. The other lesser demons took it as a sign to start running, grabbing each other and bolted away from the scene of the crime.

The owner of the locker arrived, just noticing the lesser demons run off in the distance. He opened his locker and almost stumbled back when a letter fluttered out. The demon grew curious he noticed there was a heart seal on the back. He opened it to read it to himself.

To my dearest friend,

I think it's about time I come clean about my feelings, I've been holding these in for a very long time and I refuse to keep them a secret anymore!

I'm in love with you! I can't explain it but you've won my heart, everytime you smile at me I just can't help but feel my heart skip. Is it wrong to feel this way? I'm only a human and you are a demon...we're so different and I don't know how long we'll be able to have this time we have together. All I know is that I want to be with you for as long as I can!

Will you accept my feelings? I'm not sure if I can face just yet so meet me at the end of day! I'll be waiting for you at the back of the school - I really hope you come. Even if it's decline my feelings....I just want to be able to face you and how you make me feel.

Love, (Y/N)

Lucifer:

Oh his ego is SO stroked

He could just imagine the human blushing as they wrote and nervously putting it in his locker

He did see you later that day and decided to tease you a little but while you were flustered, you also seemed confused

That was his first suspicion

When the time finally came he was patient but you weren't early

His second suspicious

You both knew each other very well, he liked things being in a timely Matter and you tried your best to not be late

He stiffened when he heard a snicker from a few trees away, he looked over there to see three demons all hiding

"I know you're hiding, it's best you come out now."

One by one they all showed themselves, growing nervous

"Come here, don't be shy, I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason for this, after all you seemed to be desperate to have me out here."

"you- you knew it wasn't the human?!"

his pride wouldn't let him tell the truth, he refused to show his disappointment

"of course, you clearly don't understand the human as much as you think you do - now, who's the leader? I think we should have a nice talk."

Mammon:

YOU GAVE HIM A LOVE LETTER??!!!

He's internally screaming, his face was bright red

Watch this boy struggle against his locker as he tries to hide his excitement

Though, when his high died down he did find it strange you were being shy

You could have your shy moments but to confess through a letter was odd

He wasn't the brightest guy around but he can sense when he's getting scammed - even if he ignores that instinct when it comes to money

He's always around you so it wasn't strange for him to see you after class and he was surprised how... relaxed you were

Something was up but in the end, he went to the back of the school

When he texted you, asking you where you were and you said going home - that was the final straw

HE WAS TRICKED!

"Oi! Are you out there?! I know you tricked me!"

The lesser demons started to panic, not thinking mammon would catch on

But when mammon started marching around looking for them they decided it was best to reveal themselves

"There ya are, now let's get to talking - what made you three wanna do something like this? You think it's funny to pretend to be the human?"

The leader snickered, agreeing that it was funny to pretend but their friends understood right now - their doom was coming

Mammon cracked his knuckles, stalking closest to them

"I like a good joke, let me show you my favourite one."

Levithan:

Love Letter in his locker??? Heart seal!!!??HE WAS THE LOVE INTEREST??!!

He's torn between dying inside and excitement, he's absolutely losing it

He had to fan himself with the letter due to how hot his face was getting

He wasn't sure how he was going to face you! Let alone you having to face him

But- there was no way you were interested in him! You wouldn't do this

He didn't believe it, it HAD to be a prank

When levi saw you for the rest of the day it only strengthen his suspicions

He did go to the back of the school and when he saw you were no where to he seen

He was absolutely embarassed and ashamed by even hoping it was real

"YOU CAN COME OUT NOW! just- just stop hiding, it isn't funny."

the demons came out, disappointed with the lack of dramatics

"so you three did it, you really think it's funny to do something like this?! To mess with someone's feelings and pretend to be the human is just - IT'S PATHETIC-!"

The demons started to feel uncomfortable, the higher demon had tears in his eyes and obviously worked up

Even the one who wanted to see this kind of reaction was uncomfortable

His demon form started to shift outwards and raised his hand, the ground beneath them rumbling

"it seems you just think I'm some sort of pushover! But I'm not!"

Satan:

Hm, how interesting

It isn't too odd that you're using a letter to confess, you know he appreciate writing

But you were more verbal or atleast text - this was new

But to say he wasn't absolutely ecstatic was an understatement, he was beyond the moon

When he saw you later he tried to not bring up the letter as his brothers were around

Though, he was thrown off when you got confused when he teased about seeing you after school

He decided he'll investigate things, going up to demons who have lockers near his and ask if he saw the human put anything in it

After awhile of searching he finally found out it was three demons who did it - he didn't want to spoil their fun and so he still went

He leaned against the nearest tree, waiting for the demons to arrive

"Ah you're here, I'm so glad you finally came."

the demons were surprised when he moved towards them, they left their hiding spot with nervous smiles

"You write well, you got their energy almost perfectly into the letter - I'm impressed."

They didn't expect that....not one bit

"you're not....mad???"

Satan chuckled, flexing his clenched fists

His smile grew more strained and dangerous as he leaned over them

"oh no, no I'm not mad - im LIVID."

Asmodeus:

He was surprised to get a love letter, he gets piles worth everyday

He didn't expect it to be from YOU though

You were so open with him and you two were already overly affectionate to each other he was sure you were already low-key dating

So to get confirmation his feelings were returned - he was overjoyed!

As soon as he saw you he's hugging you, telling you how he loved your letter and that he'll still meet you after school if you need to

You were utterly confused and unsure what he was talking about

When you told him you didn't give him that letter he felt his heart break

You didn't love him?? That wasn't your letter??

To think someone would play a prank on him like that! It was rude!

When it was time, he went to the back of the school and pretended as if he didn't sense the other demons

That was until he grew impatient

"are you shy, dear? It's okay - I know it wasn't the human~"

The lesser demons came out, confused

One of them blushed just being near him

"I'm sorry for my friend! They wanted to play the prank but- but I love you asmo!"

He gave them a pity smile

"aww~ of course you love me! But you really hurt my feelings making me believe the human did, I almost cried!"

The demons immediately all felt bad

The idea of their gorgeous asmo crying made them guilty

"I know exactly what will make me feel better, making sure you three can never write again~! Can't have you keep tricking me, can I?"

Beezlebub:

A Love letter from you?! He's a happy boy

But now that he actually thinks about it - it's odd you're not being upfront

You two usually sit alone together when you wanna get something off your chest, holding hands and you don't even have to face each other

Why the sudden change? Perhaps you just wanted to be like one of Levi's anime characters

Regardless, he was happy and wanted you to be happy

Hes was going to make you happy!

Beel was quick to find you and act like he didn't find your letter, you said you'll face him after school and he respected that

Whilst you couldn't exactly avoid each other before then, he did try to give you space

As soon as school ended he Went to the back, waiting for you to arrive

Each second went by and he grew more hungry

He smelt something close by and found three demons hiding, it was odd but he didn't want to be hungry whilst you confessed - he wanted to give you his full focus

"ah-! How did you know we were here?!"

"I smelt the sandwich in your bag, I want it."

It didn't take much convincing to hand it over

He's a scary demon afterall

"it's best you leave, my friend is coming."

One of the demons started laughing, questioning if he actually believed it was you who gave him the letter

Beel got confused before it all clicked together, he frowned, glaring at the demons

He wasn't happy

"I'm still hungry, three demons will do just fine."

Belphegor:

Happy cow man, demon tail go SWISH

On the inside hes like an excited dog, outside he's just standing there

Meanwhile he wants to be like his twin, respectful that you want to do later

He isn't that patient and wants to make it official with you NOW

so as soon as he sees you, he's draping himself on you and telling you how impatient he is

You're confused on why and he shows you the love letter

You tell him that it isn't from you and that's not even your hand writing - it's a good mimic but not yours

He is SHOCKED then he's mad

He still goes to the back of the school but it's to fight whoever pranked him

He wasn't going to wait around

"Get out now or I'll search this entire space for you - it won't be pretty if I find out."

It didn't take the demons twice to show themselves

Belphegor was feared amongst others due to his brutality when push comes to shove

Just because he's always sleeping doesn't mean he isn't scary

"Good~ so which one of you wrote the letter? If you wanted to confess you should of just done it."

The demons looked at each other, unsure on what to do

But after a few moments the youngest brother got impatient, moving towards them with a clenched hand

The leader of the lesser demons finally admitted to doing the prank

"see? It wasn't so hard, let's have a long chat about this~"

[xiaosmoon]

hello! i loved ur college au, so can i request that but for zhongli and kaeya pls? thank you!

the boys as your college roommate pt.2

pairings: zhongli & kaeya x gn!reader ft.hu tao (afab reader for kaeya)

content/warnings: fluffyyy, mentions of a seance. mentions of sex for kaeya's but no actual intercourse between the reader & kaeya

a/n: i got carried away with zhongli... ehe *ghost busters theme song*

-> zhongli

moving in with zhongli was an absolute delight. he was so respectful of your space and even helped you study!

you weren't really surprised to find out he was a history major. it's practically almost all he talked about, not that you minded.

today he came home with the biggest smile plastered on his face and pamphlet in hand. "there's a new history exhibit opening up around campus. i heard it's about the town's local history and war from over 800 years ago. uh if you'd like, we can go together?" and who were you to say no?

you knew this wasn't a date or anything, just two friends hanging out! because that's what friends do, right? once you and zhongli arrived, you both decided to go with a tour guide because even zhongli didn't know much about the town's history. "and this exhibit over here ladies and gentlemen tells you about the haunting of whitmore's house, ouuuuu!" the tour guide gave his worst ghostly impression.

you chuckle and turn to zhongli, who didn't seem as amused. "zhongli? you don't really believe in the haunting of whitmore's house, ouuuuu!" you gave your best mimic of the tour guide. he's eyes remains fixated on the small replica of the house. "hmm, i'm not sure. i am confused on why it would be in a history museum."

"well my friend, whitmore was a brave general during the war. he unfortunately got ambushed in his own home. legend has it you can still hear his screaming coming from his bedroom!" the tour guide made another ghostly mimic before leaving. that sent chills up your spine. "eugh, how awful." you crossed your arms. the distaste in your voice was very evident, so zhongli and you both decided to move on to the next exhibit.

later that night while you guys were deciding on what to have for dinner, there was very loud knocking sound at the door. "i'll get it." when you opened the door, you were met with an overly excited hu tao. she was bouncing on her toes with a up to no good grin.

"hu tao? i wasn't expecting you. come on in." you open the door wider and she makes a bee line for the couch. "weeee have plans tonight." she announces plopping down next to zhongli. "we do? i wasn't aware." zhongli raises his eyebrows.

hu tao was a good friend of zhongli's. although you didn't know her too well, you liked her spirit. "ohhh yes we do! we're having a seance at whitmore's house." her smile only grew wider. speaking of spirits. you on the other hand collapsed on the couch. "a seance? at a haunted house? you can count me out." you shiver. zhongli wanted to say he was surprised, but he really wasn't. hu tao was the president of the occult club after all.

"will it just be us?" zhongli's interest was piqued. "mmm no. a few of my club members will be joining us but i wanted to invite the two of you as well! i know you guys went to the museum today so i thought you'd be interested!" the way hu tao's eyes sparkled at this was a bit concerning.

you sigh, nibbling on your bottom lip in deep thought. oh, what the hell. it's not like you believe in this ghosts anyway. you slam your palms on the coffee table and stand up abruptly, making zhongli and hu tao flinch. "let's go catch some ghosts!"

now what the hell were you thinking?! the weather was freezing, and dark clouds painted the night, showing signs of a thunderstorm. you were shaking in your boots standing outside of the haunted house. if you can even call it that. it was more of an abandoned manor. a gate surrounded the property so it was a hassle to get to get in.

zhongli noticed your shaking, so he held your hand. you look up at him and he just shoots you a comforting smile. your body begins to shake less. "alright everyone, are we ready?" hu tao turns around to look at everyone. you all nod and follow hu tao inside. the atmosphere inside wasn't helping your nerves. the wallpaper was tearing from the walls, stains of water damaged, missing floorboards, and- was that a blood stain?

you must've clenched zhongli's hand too tight because he started rubbing his thumb across your intertwined hands to help calm you down. okay, deep breaths y/n. you can do this. besides, it's not like ghosts actually exist, right?

"wowwww look at this place! how about we explore for a bit? we can split up and meet up later here!" hu tao suggested. you were about to protest, but zhongli was already leading you away from the rest of the group. "is this really safe?" you ask him barely loud enough.

"don't worry. i'm here with you. and if you get too uncomfortable, i'm sure hu tao will understand that we had to leave." his words brought you enough comfort to keep your legs walking. you clung to zhongli's side as you explored the eerie hallway with nothing but a dim flashlight. "i wonder which room was his." zhongli mumbled mindlessly. your body tensed up at his statement and you shook your head. "i'm sure hu tao is on the hunt for it." you tried to joke, but the fear building up in the pit of your stomach was just too much.

the gods were definitely against you. the flashlight zhongli was holding had gone out. "oh great. good thing we have our phones." you reached out for your phone in your pocket and hastily turned the flashlight on. "oh, seems like i forgot my phone. let's find hu tao."

for the rest of the night, your hand never left zhongli's. even when you heard a ghoulish scream coming from the upper level

-> kaeya

being roommates with kayea was very, well, exhilarating. he wasn't a terrible roommate but he was totally a fuckboy. you had to set boundaries when you heard unwanted noises coming from him and his friends on the other side of your wall almost every night.

he apologized for his behavior and promised to never let it happen again. until it did.

it was midnight and you were awoken by the very evident sex noises coming from kaeya's room. it had to have been his 3rd person this week. he thought he was being slick by sneaking his links over while you were fast asleep. you were finally going to put a stop to this.

deciding enough was enough, you angrily rip off the blanket on your body and shuffle into your bunny slippers. you march over to kaeya's room and knock very loudly on his door. "kaeya my love, is everything alright. seems like quite a ruckus in there. i'm coming in."

without shame, you open up the door wide to find kaeya and his flavor of the week hiding under his covers. well, time to put your acting skills to use. "oh! kaeya! what's this? how could you! even after i told you about our baby just yesterday?! what am i suppose to do now? i can't deal with this!" you burst out into the fakest tears kaeya has ever seen. kaeya had the most horrific expression on his face. the girl beside him was disgusted. she slapped kaeya, "you told me you were single! your s/o is pregnant! you disgusting man." she grabbed all of her clothes littered on the floor and left the place almost like she was never there.

as soon as she left, you wiped away your fake tears. "what a performance am i right? i'll make a great movie star in the future." kaeya clenched his bedsheets closer to his body and looked at you like he's seen a ghost. "what the hell was that? what did you-" "i told you specifically not to bring anymore of your hookups to our shared dorm. this isn't just your space, kaeya." you crossed your arms and squinted your eyes. he huffed and fell back on his bed. "yeah but did you have to be so dramatic about it? now everyone's gonna think you're pregnant with my baby."

oh. you didn't even think about that. "that's a problem for later. right now i need you to seriously promise me no more hookups. i'm getting tired." kaeya propped himself on his elbows. he knows he was being unfair and totally disrespectful. it was your place too and he shouldn't keep up his antics. "okay. i promise. i swear this time. i'm sorry."

and so he really did keep his promise. in fact, his hookups in general became less and less prominent, until he stopped hooking up with people at all. why? well because he developed feelings for you. he never planned on it, but it kinda just happened.

he realized his feelings when you first brought a date over to your dorm. he didn't like the way you flirted with them and how you laughed at all of their jokes. they should be laughing at my jokes, he thought.

so after that, he began dropping hints that he liked you. of course you never picked up on them. kaeya being a flirt was a normal thing. so it only made sense for you to not pick up what he was putting down.

but kaeya was determined. he was determined to make you his. he just needed a little push.

[depressedacadamia]

Lightweight

Summary: Will Solace can’t realy hold his alcohol but Nico doesn’t really mind.

A/N: 2 fics in one week? Oh my gods, who is this writer and what have they done with Persephone? Enjoyy yall- I really enjoyed writing this one!  

Read on A03

“Hands off sunshine!” Nico warned as he held the bottle of vodka above his head, his arms outstretched.

“Give meee!” Will cried, his hand sloppily hitting Nico’s arm. The summer air was warm and Nico could feel the thin layer of sweat on his forehead- considering he had to stay in his tiptoes to hold the bottle above Will.

“Will, you didn’t even drink that much! How are you so drunk?”

“You don’t love me! Do you love me?”

“Of course I love you, ya little drunk shithead. You are totally wasted, no matter how many times you will doubt it,” Nico sighed, throwing Will’s arms over his shoulders in a vain attempt to carry him back to Cabin 7.

Will gave one long blink. Then another. “ Where are we going?”

“To your cabin. I’d shadow travel but I've seen a regular person’s reaction to that, I don’t want to see what chaos would come out of shadow travelling a hot drunken mess.”

“Did you just call me a mess?” Will pouted.

“Yes but I called you a hot mess. Focus on that part. It was mostly a compliment.”

“You’re sooo mean to meee. Do you even love me?”

“Yes I love you, stop being so heavy and carry your own legs please.” Nico shifted his back under the weight of his boyfriend's entire body and tried to manage a few steps- they would have been easy if his boyfriend wasn’t so damn fit and if he himself wasn’t slightly inebriated.

“Ni-” Will hiccuped. “-Co!”

“Yes?”

“Do you love me?”

Nico sighed again, slightly frustrated by the constant question. “Yes I love you, ask again and the answer may vary.”

“Phi Phi is so much nicer than you,” Will grumbled, his head leaning into the crook of Nico’s neck. Nico could smell the twinge of alcohol in Will’s breath along with the regular smell of the spearmint gum he would always be chewing.

“Phi Phi?” Nico snorted. “ Who in the name of God is that?”

“Your stepma! Phi Phi! She gave me so many nice flowers last time we visited!” Will paused before giving Nico an innocent look of disapproval. “ Do you not remember Phi Phii?”

Will accidentally dragged out the last ‘ee’ syllable in the word ‘phi phi’ making it sound like he was a 3 year old trying to read for the first time. Nico almost shivered at the mention of his stepmother; the last time he checked, she still had at least 157 variations of dandelions that she could turn him into the second he did anything going against her liking- afterall, she may have been the Goddess of the Spring but she was still the Queen of the Underworld.

“Yes, of course I remember Phi Phi.” He lowered his voice as he muttered the next few words under his breath to prevent them from being heard. “ How could I forget her and her stupid dandelions?”

“Phee Pheeee!”

“What about Phi Phi?”

Will paused for a few seconds. He tilted his head looking at Nico. “ Do you love me?”

Nico, awfully frustrated, decided to not answer the question honestly. “ No, I do not love you right now. Drunk you is a mess whom not only subject hops but also cannot walk coordinately.”

Nico did not think Will would take anything he said seriously but to his horror he was greatly mistaken. Will’s slow and steady breathing quickly became a rapid torrent of quick and unsteady breathing. Nico had thought that he was just mucking about but then he felt warm tears stain his shirt.

Tears streamed down Will’s flushed face, his freckles were almost invisible as the tears continued running down his face like a current. His chest racked with sobs and he pulled away from Nico and collapsed on the ground. He buried his head in his hands and let his heart beat harder with every cry that left his lips.

Nico watched, his mouth dropped. He had no idea what he had done or how to make it better. He reached out, trying to console the drunk and overly emotional Will but instead found himself feeling guilt beyond any he had ever felt before.

“Will?” He whispered. “ Will? You’re drunk. I was just joking, I didn’t mean anything I just said.”

Will's loud sobs started to slowly quieten down but the tears still freely ran across his face. He glanced upwards at Nico, his eyes rimmed red. His bottom lip wobbled and his eyes were wet.

“But.. but you said that you don’t love me…”

“I was joking. I was lying. I do love you. Only you.”

Nico plopped himself beside Will and shuffled himself closer, awkwardly. He tried to wrap one of his arms around Will but he found it to be too short and only barely touched Will’s other shoulder. So instead, he settled for rubbing soothing circles on Will’s back, calming him and forcing him to breathe slower.

“How do I know you are not lying to me now?” Will’s eyes were innocent and once again brimming with tears. “I always worry that you're just lying to me and then one day you’re going to just go poof and stupid me will be all sad.”

Nico thought he could feel his own eyes stinging- was this how Will really felt? Was Nico that bad a boyfriend that Will felt that every word, every kiss, every moment was a lie? Or did Will just consider himself so unloveable that every good thing that ever happened to him was just temporary or fake?

Nico glanced at the blonde eyelashes that were clad together with tears.

What happens inside that gorgeous head of yours, Solace?

“I love you William Andrew Solace. I choose you. You’re my significant other, significant annoyance- whatever you want to call it. And if I ever disappear, you’re sure as hell coming with me.”

Will wrapped his arms tightly and unexpectedly around Nico’s waist- causing Nico to be pushed onto his back while Will snuggled into his abdomen. Nico could feel his t-shirt stick to him due to the tears from Will’s face.

“I love you soooo much,” Will murmured into Nico’s stomach. Nico could feel his breathing hitch at the words. Nico kissed Will- light and innocent. That's what the kiss meant. He could taste the salty tears on Will’s lips and the bitter aftertaste of the vodka on his tongue. The kiss was quick, chaste and it may have not satisfied Will’s desire but it made him feel safe.

And to both of them, that’s all that mattered.

Will awoke the next morning with several life regrets but none as strong as the stupid amount of alcohol he had decided to consume the previous day or night. He could barely remember anything- let alone figure out where in the name of Zeus he was. The cabin seemed dreary but at the same time it was beautiful. It was dark and light and terrifying and beautiful all at the same time.

Wait. What Cabin was this? Whose Cabin was this? He didn’t think there was any Cabin that was so roomy with such a lack of accommodation. He almost felt like he was in a Cabin for a child of the Big Three- He remembered the one time he had taken a glimpse of the Poseidon Cabin and he remembered it to be huge- something he deeply envied Percy for.

It was only until Will noticed the black clad figure kneeling beside him that he realised where exactly he was. Beautifully tousled hair, gorgeous lips and eyes that one could get lost in forever- he only knew one person with features so defining. The question was, what on earth was he doing in Cabin 13?

Cabin 13- His boyfriend's cabin. Immediately, Will scrambled upwards. He looked Nico straight in the eye and tried to recall to what extent he embarrassed himself as a drunken idiot last night.

“How bad was it?”

“Shall I sugar coat it or give it to you straight?”

Will managed to squeak out, “Give it to me straight.”

“You tried to get into my pants and talked about how hot you thought I was.” Nico shrugged nonchalantly.

Will blanched and he immediately wished that had asked for the sugar coated version. He heard Nico laughing and he could feel his nerves both calm down and panic at the same time. Nico’s laugh was calming and beautiful and warm and made him feel all fuzzy like he was under a fluffy blanket. But he worried for what reason Nico was laughing.

“Calm down sunshine. I was joking- you should have known that I wouldn’t have been able to give it to you straight. You just asked dumb questions and cried a bit.”

“I cried?”

“It’s not a big deal.” Nico batted his hand. Will collapsed back onto the bed with an ‘ow’ and groaned something unintelligible about it being ‘too early in the morning for this’.

“It’s actually 1 in the afternoon but to each their own I guess.”

Will wanted to shout WHAT but he did not want to rack his head with an already painful headache so he instead settled for dropping his jaw.

“Close your mouth sunshine unless you plan on using it,” Nico mumbled. Will felt his jaw drop further before he snapped it back and swore internally. He made a mental note to never have a hangover near Nico because he would use it to his advantage.

“So why exactly did I cry yesterday?” Will asked as he sipped from the glass of water that had been placed at the bedside by, he could only assume, Nico. Will noticed that when asked that question, Nico tensed, his hands digging slightly into his jeans.

The corner of Will’s lips tilted upwards. “ What did you say?”

“What makes you think I said anything? Drunk you is a crybaby and you know it,” Nico huffed defensively, refusing to meet Will's eye.

“Yeah but you’re acting guilty.”

“What if I killed some boring skeleton zombie this morning and I’m only now mourning their already dead body?”

“Spare me the dark and frankly dry humour,” Will deadpanned, excited to hear the cause of his outburst yesterday.

Nico mumbled something under his breath, all while looking away from Will.

“What?”

“I said,'' Nico took a deep breath. “That I didn't love you-”

“-What?”

“But it was a joke!”

Will could feel his stomach churning and he couldn't tell if it was from the hangover or the current situation. He managed to resist a gag. “How is that a joke?”

Will’s voice was so hoarse and weak, Nico thought that he was going to break into tears all over again and he knew that if that happened, he would end up with tears flooding his own face.

“It’s because, well, drunk you kept on asking Do you love me and of course I do but drunk you is just so heavy and you kept on asking and so I of course gave a sarcastic quip and you just burst into tears and..”

Will stared at Nico and for a second, Nico was terrified that he had really blown it.He watched as his boyfriend buried his face into his hands and began shaking. His back was shivering and Nico could hear little whimpers.

“Fuck.” Nico had subconsciously let the profanity pass through his lips.

Will, suddenly, threw his head back and his laugh echoed around the empty Cabin 13. Nico felt stuned. Was he laughing in rage? Should he run?

“Will. I am so so sorry. I swear, it was a joke. I love you, I chose you William Andrew Solace. I’ll do it again and again.”

“You,” Will wheezed. “ Idiot! Did you really get so worked up over drunk me being dramatic? I was being hyperbolic!”

Nico tilted his head ever so slightly but his ravenous locks still fell over his eyes however he didn’t seem to mind as he made no effort to move it from his sight.

“So… you aren’t mad?”

“I mean I won’t reject any special treatment if you were thinking of offering as a way of showing your sorrow,” Will teased.

“Shut it.” Nico pouted. “ Do I not get a dramatic love confession? I gave you two.”

Will raised his eyebrow and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. “ If I can count correctly, and I can, I only recall one dramatic love confession.”

“You were too drunk to remember the first one.”

Will let out a groan before softly smiling.”I love you. I choose you, Nicolo Di Angelo.”

“Don’t call me Nicolo!”

[ac3id]

Plaything | 18+ | part i

plaything 1/ ?? | part 0

pairings: yandere! bully bakugou katsuki x fem! reader

warnings: [series] blackmail, bullying, dubcon/ noncon, filming w/o consent, yandere themes, no quirks au. ALL CHARACTERS ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OF AGE.

↪ for chapter 1: dubcon, blackmail, humiliation, masturbation, filming w/o consent, boot grinding, a little bit of bakusquad + reader....this is filthy :D 

summary: by luck you get enrolled into u.a high the best school in your town. the only catch is that the school is filled with rich, spoilt and powerful brats who just seem to hate you and among them, a certain red eyed blonde dreads you the most

↪ for chapter 1: you bump into bakugou by accident, dropping your vanilla ice cream all over him, you try to apologize and run away but wants more...oh wait why are his friends standing there recording everything too? 

wordcount. 4k+

a/n: sooooo, it’s finally out! huge thanks to @sawamooora for proof reading this! helped me out a lot <3 sorry for making u sit through that mess x[

 this scene was inspired by that one episode of boys over flowers where the mc’s best friend drops ice cream on the main guy’s shoe and he asks the mc to lick it off...obviously that didn’t happen in the show but it really got me thinking...... 

alsO the netflix show elite,,, i just saw it and knew,,,,

taglist: @mocha-focha​, @erenyeagersbasement​ , @haribo-pop, @sunshine-fangs​, @kuremis​, @amazing-fandoms​,

dm/ inbox/ comment to be added/ removed. 

—navigation

It was a great opportunity. Never in your life would you have thought you’d manage to land a scholarship at the prestigious U.A Private Academy. 

The school was a dream, the best in your city, and only affordable for the rich. Graduating from such a school could have helped you with life in so many different ways. Not only would it open doors you could never touch before, but it would help you to form connections which would make your life undoubtedly easier.

Graduating from U.A. was a blessing, but obviously, it did not come easy. It was rather unfortunate. After your previous school building had collapsed, due to some accident, the board announced its year-long closure.

At the time, you were beyond lost and understandably frustrated - it was your last year before college and you simply couldn't risk waiting the year out. The whole situation was nerve-wracking, looking for decent schools which would allow you in. 

Honestly, you had no idea what you would’ve done if U.A. hadn’t called you that night. 

It was the last day of the summer holidays, a week after your school building had collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt - but the damage on the campus was severe. 

You had been talking to your friends when your mother rushed into your room with exciting news. Apparently, the chairman of U.A was feeling generous. He had decided to offer four excellent students from your school a scholarship to U.A. 

You were overjoyed being one of the students along with your two other friends; Shinso Hitoshi and Izuku Midoriya. 

At first, the thought was a little scary - going into a completely different world than you were accustomed to. The kids there would be much different than you, you didn't want to be the   laughing stock, you didn’t want to be their silly little entertainment... The thought made you nervous, but when your best friend, Izuku, called you the next night explaining how he also won the scholarship; followed by Shinso, you were relieved. 

Yes, you were stepping into a whole different world but you at least had your two friends with you. 

And that brought you to the first day of school. 

You stood outside the huge gates of the even enormous academy all alone shaking in your little, expensive skirt they forced you to wear as the uniform waiting for your friends. You promised the two boys you’d wait for them, and besides, you weren’t planning on entering the building all alone. 

Your friends, Shinso and Midoriya, lived close to each other. They were supposed to meet you at the gates of the school that morning, but they were running late. Your anxiety grew the longer you stayed there, with students filling the place- arriving in their fancy cars with their expensive bags and accessories. It easily made you feel out of place.

“Hey,” you heard someone before someone tapped on your shoulder. You quickly turned around to greet the voice. Staring back at you was Uraraka Ochaco.

You remembered she was in your school too, Midoriya has a huge crush on her. 

“Yes, Uraraka? Right?” You weren’t close to her, nothing but mere acquaintances. But seeing her face - right here, right now - it made your day. 

Uraraka was dressed in the same uniform as you, there was no doubt that she was one of the four kids who won the scholarship. Both of you talked while you implored her to wait for Midoriya and Shinso. You didn’t fail to notice the way her cheeks turned pink when you mentioned Midoriya. The two of them were so obvious. 

Your friends arrived, they were late, but they came. 

Apparently, there was an accident that forced them to stay back a little longer, but they managed to make it before the first bell. 

“I actually have an old friend who goes there now,” Midoriya confesses out of the blue as the four of you enter the gates. You look at him in awe. 

During the three years in high school that both of you had spent together, he had never mentioned any friend of his going to the U.A. academy ever. 

“Why did you never tell us?” Uraraka asks. 

“well, we’re not on good terms. He used to live in the same neighborhood before his parent’s business took off. He left after middle school.” Midoriya says, a slight frown forming on his face.

“Who is he?” Shinso asks. 

Midoriya pauses briefly before explaining his entire history with a temperamental and rude blonde. Bakugou Katsuki, he calls him. His childhood friend. But from what you managed to gather, Bakugou was anything but a friend to Midoriya. 

Bakugo was once just a simple boy, living a simple life, destined to do great things - but once his parent’s clothing line ‘Dynamite’ blew up and became mainstream, he started drowning in wealth. Bakugo moved out of his old neighborhood at the starting of high school before enrolling in U.A., just like all his rich friends.

“Maybe you should say hi,” Uraraka suggests. Midoriya’s expressions turned sheepish.

“About that…” he started. “I called him yesterday, got his number from mom, and-” he stopped. 

“What did he say?” Shinso asked.

“He told me to get lost and die,” Midoriya said with a slight frown on his face, looking down. 

That was your first impression of Katsuki Bakugou. For a man you had not even met, you sure loathed him. 

School went smoothly for a week, everything was going great. The four of you kept your profile low, didn’t talk until spoken to, kept your distance, and everything was okay. 

People often starred and whispered amongst each other when they saw you in the hallways, but that was about it. Everyone seemed to be decent but… there’s always a but. 

Everything took a turn for the worse when you managed to piss off the wrong person, Bakugo Katsuki himself. 

It was an honest mistake, not even that big of a deal - especially for his standards Yet, for some reason, Bakugo wanted to get under your skin. 

It happened after your lunch break, you were on your way back to your classroom with an ice-cream cone fasted tightly in your hands. You mindlessly dashed through the hallways, trying your best to get back to class as fast as possible - you don’t want to be late. It’d earn you a bad reputation. You don’t need that- you don't want anything which could jeopardize your scholarship. 

You walked straight and took a turn. Just by fate, you bumped into a stiff, hard chest making you wobble on your feet and sending your ice cream from your hand flying straight to the ground.

“Shit,” you cursed, looking down seeing what you had to work with. 

The ice-cream cone splattered on the floor, the white creamy liquid flushed all over the floor along with staining an expensive-looking, black leather boot. A snarl comes from above you along with a group of chuckles. More expensive shoes come into your line of view as you realize you’re not alone. 

You slowly bring your gaze up, ogling at who you just pissed off. 

Staring back at you is a furious blonde, glaring at you with such intensity that it makes your stomach drop. It’s the infamous Bakugou Katsuki, you don’t want to deal with him. 

-

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going,” you don’t give him a chance to complain as you take your flight. Quickly, you try running away but a large hand grabs your forearm, stopping you dead in your tracks. 

You look to the side, deep red eyes stare right back at you. 

“Where are you running off to? Don’t you think you owe my friend here a proper apology?” Kirishima says, his grip on your arm growing tighter. He towers over you, his huge body trapping you with intimidation.

Going to U.A for over a week there’s a thing or two that you’ve learned about the rich, snobby brats who own the school. Not everyone is bad, a few of them are actually but the rest are just bad. 

Bakugou was the worst. From how Midoriya described him, you knew for a fact he’d be a horrible person. But hell, he managed to prove himself even worse. 

He was crude, mean, downright arrogant, and ignorant. Always screaming unasked opinions on top of his lungs, and gets mad whenever someone disagrees. He acts like the world revolves around him.

 Bakugo had a bunch of friends who he called his “followers” and they weren’t any better.

They just watched while Bakugou ruined everything, they were there to support him. 

Kirishima Eijirou the redhead, he was captain of the football team. He was a jock, brawns over brains kind of person. Girls cooed over him and his overly attractive, hot body. It looked as if he was sculpted by God himself. 

Next was Kaminari Denki. He was in the school band, dating the lead singer. And yet, he managed to find time to flirt with other girls. He was the goofball of the group, dumb and stupid But he always knew what he was doing. Even though it was barely noticeable, you could always see a devious glint in those amber eyes of his. 

Sero Hanta was famous for a lot of reasons. Most notably for having brought illegal drugs on the campus and skipping classes to go down to his junkie hangout spot to smoke weed. The man had no shame. Sometimes, he’d walk into the classrooms high as fuck. The teachers couldn’t do anything even if they tried, his parents practically owned the school; he owned the school. There was no going against the tall, lanky man who looked like he couldn’t even smash a bug. He held the most power and his friends sure knew how to abuse it. 

Last but not least was Mina Ashido. The one and only girl member of the self-proclaimed ‘bakusquad’. Sometimes, Jirou Kyouka, the lead singer of the school, would hang out with the boys and her boyfriend, but she wasn’t a permanent member. Mina was. 

In your opinion, Mina was a nightmare dressed like a daydream. With her short, pink hair and bright smile, she seemed like an angel. But she was the devil. Worse than even Bakugou, perhaps. 

She knew everything about everyone, she had leverage galore: screenshots ready to leak, videos ready to ruin lives. She had them all, and frankly- she scared you the most. 

Kirishima pushed you back, and Bakugo caught you by your shoulders. 

“That was fucking rude,” he growled, biting his fingers into your shoulder blades tight and hard making you squeal. “Are you fucking blind or something? Fucking extra.” 

“I said I’m sorry, let me go will you?” Even in such a terrifying situation, you try to remain calm.

“What do you think, Sero?” Kaminari began. Your heart sank, including Sero into anything was never a good sign. 

“She ruined Bakugou’s new shoes,” he continued. Bakugou’s hold on you tightened and you winced, turning back to him and returning his glare. 

“Okay, what do you want?” you give in, finally. A mischievous spark lights up in his crimson eyes as flashes a cocky smirk to his friends before turning back to you with a frown. He pushes you towards Mina and she catches you with an arm around your shoulder. 

“Those were expensive, right?” she looks at you and then back at Bakugou. He grunts, nodding. 

“Fuck yes, I’m pissed as hell. Some fucking extra managed to ruin it.” 

You look back down to steal a glance at his heavy, leather boot. The small, white stain melted away. 

“What will you do to make up for it?” Mina whispers your name and you cringe. They were teasing you. For their fun, they were making fun of you. 

“What can I do?” you say, sarcastically. Prying yourself away from her hold. The crowd goes dead silent before speaking. Sero is the first one to talk. 

“Lick it off.”

There’s a pause, no one speaks. Your stomach drops and your face pales at the look the five of them are giving you- it’s serious. Dead serious. 

Kaminari bursts out laughing followed by Sero and the others. The four of them get a great laugh but Bakugou stares at you head-on with his grave expressions burning through your soul. 

“Whatcha looking at? Do it,” he commands. 

The laughing dies down and Kaminari speaks, “are you serious? You want her to lick your shoe,” he can’t control his laughter, a chuckle breaks with every word. 

“Yes, I’m fucking serious. Besides, Sero recommended it,” he smirks. “Do you really want to say no to him? I don’t know so much about this but-“ he leans down close to your face, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, “it might complicate your scholarship.” 

There’s a twisted rhythm in his voice. He’s enjoying tormenting you. You still want to believe that they’re just messing around. That they’ll have their laughs and let you go, but the way Sero stares at you says otherwise. 

“You don’t wanna do it?” Bakugou asks. 

“Of course she doesn’t! That’s gross, oh my god.” Mina exclaims, earning a chuckle from the rest of the boys. 

“Hey, let’s hear it from Sero himself.” Kirishima pats Sero’s back, pushing him forward. The five of them have circled around you, coiling you inside their venomous nest with you in the center. You turn to Sero with pleading eyes, looking up at his huge form, begging. 

He smirks looking down at you, you look so tiny beneath bim. He wants to mess with you, even more, you look like a nice toy to him. He wants to play with it until he can’t. 

“I guess, I did say that-” your blood runs cold, heartbeat picking up in nervousness. “-but you don’t need to do it.” He finishes. Your face lights up while the others groan in disappointment. Bakugou looks livid. 

“Just know that, you’re the one who dropped the ice cream on Bakugou’s shoe and now you’re not even helping him out. That’s not very noble, is it? I don’t know if I even by mistake slipped that info back home- my parents might reconsider whether you truly deserve to be here or not. They don’t really like disrespectful kids who comprise the school’s name.” 

Sero ends his speech with a wide, ear-to-ear grin, followed by a pat to your head. 

“The choice is yours.”  

You pause for a moment and think. Where they were really going to make you do it, where they were really going to humiliate you like this. They were. But were you willing to do it? 

From Sero’s threat, you could tell he was serious, this was legit. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time the school expelled someone who had beef with Sero, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. They don’t care about anyone but their loving son. They wouldn’t even think once before expelling you.

“What’s your answer, princess?” Kirishima teases.

 Mina and Kaminari once again break into fits of laughter.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t have a choice here, kneel you extra.” Your heart hammers in your chest as Bakugou gestures you to kneel. You stop for a second, breathing unevenly- thinking. After a long, thoughtful sigh, you answer. 

“No, I am not going to do it.” Your voice is meek yet clear. Even though you’re trembling under the heavy gazes of five snakes, you choose to stand your ground. 

Bakugou glaring at you while the others boo. 

“Aw, c’mon you don’t mean that.” 

“Don’t be a little brat.” 

Bakugou stays silent while the others continue to throw insults at you -  calling you names and trying to make you regret your decision. You look straight forward into Bakugou’s cold, red eyes, searching for his next move. Your heart beats even harder in your chest with increased anxiety. After watching your torment for more than a few minutes, Bakugo decides he’s had enough of this game.

“Hey, shitty hair,” Bakugo starts. “Punch me.” 

“What?” Kirishima asks, vividly shaken. “Why do you want me to hit you, Bakubro?” 

“Punch me real hard, give me a black eye.” The confusion grows greater on everyone’s faces. You stare at him in awe, wondering what angle was trying to play. 

Kirishima raises his hands in defense. “Woah, dude slow down there. I’m not just going to punch you.” 

Bakugou clicks the roof of his tongue, letting out a sound of irritation. “You all are just dumb,” he starts.

“Imagine if this punny, little,” he leans down closer to you till his lips touch your ears and whispers your name with a crude chuckle. “Were to drop all her food over me, not apologize, punch and me then run away, that’d bring her into a whole world of trouble. Wouldn’t it?” 

Bakugo’s words are calculated and sly, he knows exactly what he’s getting at when he starts. His voice fills you up with dread as he makes his accusations public.

“She would be expelled on spot and Kacchan could also raise charges,” Kaminari adds. 

Your eyes widen in fear. 

“Yeah, I’ll fucking do that.” Mina giggles. “That would succck,” she cheers. Your lower lip quivers as you stare at them in disbelief, your eyes open wide only to be covered with fear. 

“Hey, c’mon, why are you doing this to me?” You feel them inch closer to you, their warmth leeching onto you the longer you stay surrounded by them. 

“Because you have no fucking manners.” Bakugou snarls. 

“Kiri, punch him. What are you waiting for? If you don’t wanna do it I will!” Kaminari cries, growing impatient. 

Kirishima laughs before he charges Bakugou. Your heart hammers in your chest. 

You think about your family, your future, and how disappointed everyone would be with you. Your dreams and aspirations, all were rooted in this school. 

It was honestly sad, pathetic even. Your entire future was just a joke to these spoiled kids. These kids who could control you, and everyone else,  with just a flick of their fingers. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the price to pay for a piece of the beautiful cake known as U.A... You resign yourself to your fate.

A piece of your mind. 

“N-no, don’t do that. I-I’ll do it,” you murmured, your voice timid and weak. The five paused looking at each other with an ominous glint in their eyes. Bakugou was the first to speak. 

“Well, then fucking get on with it. On your knees.” Obediently like a trained puppy, you got down onto your knees, not letting your eyes fall from Bakugou’s face. His red, fierce eyes barked at you with an unknown look, keeping you lost. 

“Holy shit, she’s actually doing this,” Mina squealed watching you lean forward, bringing your face next to Bakugou’s expensive boots.

“Kaminari, record this.” Sero taps at the energetic blonde, forcing him to take his phone out and hit ‘record’. As you lean further to the ground, your short skirt rides up behind you, giving the audience a clear view of your round ass and pastel panties. The sight brings a smile to Bakugou’s face as he scoffs. 

“Cute panties,” he remarks. 

You jerk, trying desperately to sit back, but Bakugo stops you. Smashing his other foot on top of your shoulder, he holds you there facing the ground.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” he growls.

You squirm, almost falling under his weight and as much you hate to admit it, a tingle of excitement runs down your spine. This was turning you on.

 A row of whistles flood in, the boys start teasing you and praising Bakugou. 

“Lick it off,”  he commands. 

You look down at his leather boot, the ice cream almost melted. There’s still a bright white spot of the sweet now liquid splayed out. Even though it’s not a lot, it still makes you cringe. You peek your shy, little tongue out timidly, forcing yourself to do the heinous deed. 

Bakugou watches you hesitate and pushes on your shoulder harder making you reach towards him. 

You give in after a final attempt, diving into his wishes. Your wet tongue touches the rough, cold leather. You cringe after a single touch, closing your eyes and scrunching your nose at the salty taste. “Clean it all off,” he commands.

You dive back in, this time letting your tongue glide across a larger portion. The humiliation burns through your body. It makes you uncomfortably hot, mostly from anger and but a little bit of arousal.

“Nice ass.” 

There it is. The excitement comes back the moment they start making suggestive comments, the attention riles you up and it’s horrible. 

“Kaminari are you even supposed to be here? Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Mina asks at the blonde pervert who was currently zooming on your ass. 

“Oh? We’re cool as long as I don’t stick my dick her,” he points to you. “That’s hella fucking tempting but I’m in love, dude.” He chuckles to himself, thinking about his girlfriend. 

They treat you like an object, talking about you like you were some sort of a toy. 

“Bet her pussy is tight,” Sero says. 

Kirishima turns to Bakugou, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Yo, Bakubro, can we touch her?” 

Bakugou looks on from watching you lick his boot and turns to Kirishima. A dark, unsettling gaze falls across his eyes as he speaks, “No. This one is mine.” he stares down at you. 

You stop lapping on his shoe and stand back on your knees, buckling your knees you try to get up but Bakugou harshly kicks your shoulder, throwing you back and making you cry. 

“Why did you do that?” you squeal, holding onto your bruised shoulder, glaring at him intently. 

The rest of the group goes quiet at the display of Bakugou’s sudden violence. 

He stands between your thighs, lazily resting his foot atop of your soft thighs. 

“You’re fucking pathetic, you know that?” the angle you were spread out in had your skirt flipped over hips, displaying your pretty, pastel panties to everyone in the room. 

Even though it’s subtle, masked by everyone’s fear of what Bakugou was planning, you still feel everyone’s gaze focused right on you and more specifically at your clothed cunt. Bakugou presses hard on your thigh making you cry. 

“Useless Deku’s friends are just like him. The fucking second you walked in here, I knew you were just another useless insect for me to stomp on.” He pauses, smirking, pressing his foot onto you even harder, twisting his ankle to increase the burning sting surging across your right thigh. “And I’m doing just that.” 

He steps off you for a moment, letting you catch your breath and recover from the burn. His eyesight travels lower down to your panties. He admires the cute pair you had on. Normally when he’d see girls naked, they’d dress themselves up the most luxurious to match his standards. But that’s not you, that could never be you. 

He rejoices at the thought of seeing your flushed, tear-stained face breaking down under him. You’ll never be like those girls, always a step behind. He can build you up and break you however he likes, you’d have no say in it. 

The power trip drives him crazy. 

He presses the tip of his boot over your clothed clothed cunt, pushing the hard material right over your sensitive clit. 

You gasp at the feeling, looking up at him with terrified eyes. He smirks down at you, moving his foot in a steady rhythm, rubbing the fabric of your cotton panties against your little pearl. 

“This turning you on? What a freak.” The rest of his group basks in shock. They watch intently as the scene spiraled out for them, too captivated to make any comments. They just keep quiet and stare. 

The way you squirm under Bakugou as he plays with your cute clit so unforgivingly makes them hot with excitement. Kaminari feels a little guilty but he blames it on his nature as a man.

Sero feels a little bad for you, they all do. But then again they wouldn’t waste the opportunity to be in Bakugou’s footsteps- literally. 

“You’re a little slut, you know that?” Bakugou sneers. 

Your gasps turn into whimpers as his simulation becomes harder. You clench your fists, desperately wishing it to be over. Tears brim in your eyes at the sheer humiliation of your corrupted form. This was just too much, too much for you to handle. 

“Please, stop,” you beg, knowing he wouldn't listen. “I’ll report you,” you cry.  A roar of laughter starts, shutting you up. 

“Go for it, you do that.” Mina comments. Kaminari walks closer to you, bringing the camera down to your face recording your horrified expressions. 

“We’ll just go ahead and post this online.” he threatens. 

A drop of tear falls down your waterline following a waterfall. You cry, leave all of your dignity behind and cry. You beg them to stop but as your pleas mix with your moans, it’s hard for anyone to understand what you’re saying. It’s not like they don’t know what you’re asking them for, they just turn deaf, simply because they can. 

Bakugou stops, he takes a step back, leaving you alone. You let out the tiniest cry when he leaves, ditching you just when you need his touch the most. 

“Feels like I’m doing too much of the work, if you want it so bad, do this yourself.” He says. Your body still burns with desire, your clit still hard and cunt salivating, you are nowhere close to being done... 

It’s as if something takes over and you are possessed by the dire need to cum, you do exactly as he says. 

You snake your fingers down your panties, deliberately rubbing on your swollen little clit before pushing your finger into your drenched cunt. You cry out as you clench around your finger, the pleasure becoming unbearable. Your legs shake and you close your eyes shut. 

You stay there on the floor, fingering yourself in the corridor, without any shame, while Kaminari records all of it. 

“She’s gonna give me a hard-on,” Kirishima says and you moan.

“She really is a slut, huh?” Sero comments. 

“She’s cute,” Mina adds with a smile. 

Bakugou scoffs, “does Deku know how much of a whore you are?” He asks. 

You don’t pay any attention to what he says, too busy bringing yourself to your climax.

“You’re getting all this right?” Mina looks over Kaminari’s shoulder and onto the phone screen which captures you beautifully losing yourself for everyone to see. 

“You close?” Bakugou asks as you feel yourself clench around fingers tightly, he bends down on his and pulls your panties down your hips, admiring your precious cunt. 

“Cute pussy,” he remarks before flicking your sensitive, hardened clit.

A rush of pleasure washes down your body as you cry while cumming. Bakugou pushes you right over the edge, a nasty grin screaming atop his face as he watches you. You curse at yourself for letting him see you like this, but there’s not much you can do but cry while you feel your juices gush around you before sliding down your thighs and onto the dirty floor. 

It takes a second for you to calm down and when you do come to your senses, dread fills you up. Tears shamelessly fall down your face as you realize what you just did. The others laugh at you, without feeling any remorse. 

Bakugou continues to stare at you with an unsettling look, while the others discuss the heinous crime you’ve just committed. 

Sero looks down at you and you catch his dark eyes staring at you. A toothy grin scavenges his face as he speaks. 

“Awesome,” he says as if he just finished some mediocre movie. 

Finally, you find the courage to get up and run. 

This was totally not awesome. 

[solarwonux]

Sunflower || Seokmin 

seokmin x f!reader: soulmate au 

w.c: 23.7k (its a long one get some popcorn lol)

warnings: angst, really really slow burn, suggestive themes (no nsfw sorry y’all) 

note: I’M SO EXCITED TO FINALLY RELEASE THIS FIC, it has been released before but I rewrote it a little and finally finished it. PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND YES YOU DO NEED TO READ CHERRY FIRST IT WOULD MAKE A LOT MORE SENSE IF YOU DO. 

cherry || masterlist

“Get up.” Seungkwan said opening the curtains in your room letting in the obnoxious rays of sunlight. You groaned turning over in your bed pulling the sheets over your head. A failed attempt to block the sunlight out. “I mean it get up.” He jumped on your bed, trapping you underneath him then tried to pry off the sheets from your body. Your iron-like grip holding them in place. You wiggled your body trying to wrestle him off. He scoffed placing his hands on your sides and jabbing them, an annoyed laugh falling out of your lips. He snickered grabbing onto your sheets and pulling them off your body. 

“Get up!” He exclaimed letting you go, bringing your sheets along with him. He stood at the foot of your bed, hands on his hips, waiting. You whined, flaying your limbs up in the air, which only made him roll his eyes in annoyance. “It’s too early, let me sleep please.” You grumbled finally sitting up on your bed, crossing your legs and arms in front of you. You blinked rapidly trying to get used to the brightness of your once dark room. 

“It’s almost two in the afternoon, I’m not letting you sleep anymore…so get up.” He commanded his hands leaving his hips and pointed an accusatory finger at you. “You’ve been doing this every weekend for the last five months and honestly I’ve had it.” He shook his head in disbelief and threw himself on your bed in despair. You rolled your eyes shoving him with your foot before laying down on your side, eyeing the unpleasant billboard outside your—well Seungkwan’s guest bedroom window. “Even if I get up, what's the point, I have nothing to do.” You sighed moving so you were now on your back, eyeing the ceiling fan as it turned with ferocity above your bed and attempted to count the times it went around in circles. Useless to say the least but helped calm you down.

“I talked to Vernon yesterday; he’s worried about you?” Seungkwan sat up poking your side again. The name that fell out his lips sent jabs of pain up your body and you tried your hardest to blink back the tears that had started to form at the sound of his name. “I’m fine.” You whispered turning over to face your best friend. His eyebrows furrowed as he searched your face carefully for any warning signs. “It’s okay not to be fine you know, it’s okay to admit it too.” He sighed wrapping an arm around your shoulder hugging you tightly. 

“How is he?” You mumbled. The question had been lingering at the tip of your tongue since the day the two of you decided to finally part ways. Since the day you moved into Seungkwan’s guest bedroom and since the day Vernon told you about his back-packing trip around South East Asia. That night the two of you cried together on Seungkwan’s overly expensive couch, because your new realities, that didn’t involve one another as lovers, finally started to settle in.

When he walked out the front door, he had promised to come back under one condition. You knew it was eating him inside, but he held his head high and told you to try everything in your power to find the person that was meant to be your forever. He had found his, in fact his was the reason why the two of you were in this mess in the first place. Why the color you had gotten used to seeing for nearly five years had been stripped away from you.

“He’s good, he arrived in Thailand last night and yes he’s taking his vitamins and eating well.” Seungkwan stated he sat up bringing you along with him. “But he keeps asking about you and I’m tired of lying to him, so I’m taking you out today.” He smiled brightly, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear and placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “So, take a shower before I dump a bucket of water on you.” 

“Where are you taking me?” You turned down the radio, your voice was hoarse from screaming out the lyrics to Dancing Queen with Seungkwan. A curious smile playing on your lips as you looked out your open window, the wind hitting your face making goosebumps rise onto your skin. Despite still not feeling like you could jump back and be the person you were five years ago or five months ago, you felt at ease.

“It’s a surprise.” Seungkwan stated in a matter of fact tone, finishing it off with a scoff. You rolled your eyes sitting back in your seat. The beginning melody of Toxic sounding through his car speakers made Seungkwan groan in protest. “Last time I let you pick the music.” He pointed out, turning on the turn signals. 

“Shut up you love it.” You teased. “Now please tell me where we’re going, we’ve been driving for nearly three hours.” You whined, closing the window and bringing down the car visor. You opened the little mirror and cringed once you saw yourself. Your hair was sticking out in different places, your red lipstick was slightly smudged, and your mascara had started to run. If Vernon was next to you, he would’ve told you that you still looked like the most beautiful girl in the world. You grinned letting out a small sigh and shook your head. The feeling of nostalgia making its way underneath your skin whenever you thought of him. To your surprise you hadn’t bursted into tears yet and maybe that was an indication that you were finally starting to let yourself feel happiness once again.

“It’s been an hour and a half, you’re literally so dramatic.” Seungkwan said in disbelief as he slowed down the car. “Anyway, we’re here, but you have to put on the blindfold before we go anywhere.”  He smiled, putting his car in park and shutting it off. He reached over the back seat and brought out a blindfold, cheekily showing it to you. 

“Kwanie I know I’ve been a pain these last five months but I’m literally begging you to not kill me today.” You said as you finished up fixing your face as well as your unruly hair before closing the visor and turning to face him. He rolled his eyes shoving the blindfold into your hand. “I can’t stand you sometimes, just put the damn blindfold on.” He whined, tapping his fingers impatiently on his steering wheel. You saluted at him jokingly before putting it on. “Done, lead me to my death.” 

“Let’s go drama queen.” 

“You’re one to talk.” You mumbled opening his car door. Seungkwan grabbed your hands leading you out of the car, resting his hands on your shoulders. “I promise you’ll love it.” He said the smile prominent in his tone of voice as he started to walk you forward. You jumped putting one of your hands over his in panic, your stomach turning in anticipation. Your mind goes through numerous possibilities of what would be on the other side once you removed your blindfold. A part of you hoping it was Vernon, but you knew that wasn’t an option. He was out, doing something he had desperately wanted to do for years and no matter how much he cared for you. He wasn’t going to put his dreams to halt for you. The two of you had done it for far too long and now it was time to finally live for yourselves. It was something the two of you deserved. 

“Alright we’re here.” Seungkwan stated as the two of you stopped walking. Your hands quickly went up to the blindfold and took it off quickly. A gasp falling out of your lips as you stared in awe at the black and white field of sunflowers. The heliotropic flowers swayed slowly in the wind as they reached up high towards the sunlight. Your stomach turning wishing you had never taken your color for granted. 

“Kwanie, I-I love it.” You smiled turning to face the boy who was looking at you smugly. You hugged him tightly, burying your face into the crook of his neck finally letting the tears spill out. He nodded wrapping his arms around you tightly, slowly caressing your back as he let you cry. Something he had gotten used to since you had started living with him, and something he would never complain about. The pain you were going through, he could not understand no matter how hard he tried. He had never been in love before, his soulmate mark remained untouched, the words etched on his wrist haunting him for years, slowly making him lose hope. And that’s how he lived for a while until the night when you called him sobbing. The words coming out of your mouth he couldn’t make out, but he heard the pain laced in your voice. His heart broke as he knew what had happened. 

Vernon had confided in him for nearly a year. At first, he didn’t agree with the way he was handling things, telling him that you should’ve been his first priority. But the more he thought about it the more he understood why he couldn’t. Vernon’s love for you was indescribable, he would’ve moved mountains and parted the red sea for you if he could. You were his light the reason he kept pushing even though at the end he knew what the outcome would be. The love the two of you had was pure art and Seungkwan could only hope to find something so perfect one day. Which is why he let you cry on him; let you curse out the world as he held you in his arms because even though he hadn’t found the person the universe had set him up with. He knew what it felt like to long for that person. 

“We can cut some and take them home. Trust me the apartment needs a little bit of brightness.” He pulled away, his thumbs wiping the stray tears on your cheeks. You nodded turning around, watching the people you had overlooked run around happily. Some were by the little white kiosk that held bundles of sunflowers and strawberries and you assumed that’s where you would go to pay the fee. Others were taking pictures with the daisy like flowers, while others were cutting off the stems carefully to take home, fighting with the bees. The whole sight made you feel warm and at peace and though you had already cried. You felt like crying again only because the happiness that was bubbling up inside of you was overwhelming. 

“Let’s go then and since you brought me here you will pay for them right.” You pouted batting your eyelashes up at him. 

“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t” 

“The worst honestly.” You grabbed his hand leading him to the middle of the field. The skyrocketing flowers make you feel small as if you were an ant in the middle of a field of grass. “I wish I can see them in their truest form” You sighed taking one of the leaves in between your index finger and thumb. “But I can only remember what they would look like.” You nodded smiling sadly earning a flick on the forehead from Seungkwan. “Ow…what the hell Kwanie.”

“Stop getting all sad on me and smile please.” He said, bringing a pair of kitchen scissors from his back pocket. You cocked an eyebrow in curiosity, and you were about to ask him where the hell he had gotten them, until you noticed the miniscule flashes of color by his shoulder. You blinked rapidly, before rubbing your eyes forcefully not caring that you had smudged your mascara.

Seungkwan leaned up grabbing onto the flower stem, placing it in between the scissor blades and cutting it. A satisfied hum escaping his lungs, nodding in approval while he turned to you and brag. His smile fell once he noticed the look of distresses embedded onto your face. “What’s wrong, what happened?” He said dropping the flower along with the scissors and placing both hands on top of your shoulders. He shook you, your eyes turning wide while you looked around. The water pooling in your tear ducts and he tried to desperately grab your attention.  

The broken flashes of yellow, coming in and out at a faster than before. Faster than the morning you had met Vernon. Your heart was at your throat and you pushed Seungkwan’s hands off your shoulders, ignoring his worried statements and pushed past him. You kept walking, your hands shaking at your sides as the flashes of color became more intense. Seungkwan followed you, taking long strides to keep up with you. “What’s happening…did something happen?” He asked his voice sounding with concern and once again you ignored him again, trying to find the reason why you were suddenly seeing color again. A part of you wondered if this was how Vernon had felt that night. If he felt lightheaded. If his body grew weak while his heart broke slowly into thousands of pieces while the flashes of color came in and out. 

“Seokmin where are you going…what’s going on?” You heard a voice shout, your footsteps coming to a stop once your eyes found the ones of the person in front of you. The same look of distress you had on your face adorning his. You let out a sob seeing as the color poured in at a faster rate than before. The part of you that still loved Vernon breaking away slowly while you felt your heart start to beat out of time. Just like it had done that first time you met Vernon and you were introduced to a world of color. Seungkwan came up beside you, out of breath, his hand grabbing onto your arm, confusion written all over his features as he looked between you and the man standing a few feet away from the two of you. 

“Min, you’re scaring me.” His friend said, waving a hand in front of his face. He didn’t budge, instead his eyes only got wider, and he took it upon himself to take a wary step forward. “D-Do you see i-it too?” 

You nodded pushing the hand Seungkwan was using to hold you back off. “W-What’s your name?” You took a step forward, your body feeling as if it were on fire. Something you had never once experienced before.

“Seokmin, I-I thought I would never find you.” He confessed stopping until only a foot separated the two of you. His hands inside his jacket pockets itching to reach out to you. To embrace you, wipe away your tears, and tell you how beautiful you looked despite the mascara tracks staining your cheeks. 

He never imagined that this day would come. Sure, he had fantasized about it since the day he learned what soulmate’s where. He had practiced numerous conversations inside his head, to be prepared. But he never once believed that he would be able to find, certainly not in a field of sunflowers on the hottest day of the year. And certainly not with you standing in front of him crying as if your heart was breaking instead of mending.

“C-Can I give you a hug?” You spoke rubbing the back of your hand against your cold cheek, a sob catching itself at the back of your throat. He nodded quickly, taking his hands out of his pockets and shaking them at his side. The two of you stared at each other in silence, eyes running all over the place. Your bodies daring to finally cross the line. In the end, despite your heart feeling as if it were to fall out of your ass. You crossed it, wrapping your delicate arms around his torso, the sob you had been holding in finally breaking out of its confinements. 

Seokmin held you as if his life depended on it. His mind searching through the files of practice conversations he had over the years, trying to come up with something, anything to say to you right now. 

With caution he started to run his hands down your back, trying to offer you comfort. His gaze landing on the man that had been chasing after you. To Seokmin his features were unreadable, but the tears that had started to fall out of his eyes spoke volumes and it scared him. He could only hope he wasn’t your significant other because the last thing Seokmin wanted to do was make you choose. If your heart didn’t belong to him then he’d live with the consequences because despite not knowing your name yet, he knew you deserved more than what the world had to offer. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You pulled away; the residue of your mascara combined with your tears on his pale-yellow t-shirt. Your bottom lip trembles as the memories of your first meeting with Vernon came flooding back. “Everything is so fucked…I’m sorry you had to meet me like this.”

“Don’t be sorry, just because we met doesn’t mean we have to be together right away.” He nodded the soft pad of his thumbs lying against your soft cheeks. He studied your face closely, taking in everything as fast as he could. Afraid you would be taken away from him forever. He could tell something was bothering especially when you refused to look him in the eye. Only catching the subtle hint of sadness hiding behind your sparkling eyes. There was something you had to deal with, one that didn’t involve him, and he knew he had to put himself aside and you first. 

“I’ve waited my whole life for you…I can wait a little longer.” 

“Text him please.” Seungkwan pleaded falling on to your bed cuddled with your pillow. You stopped your typing and took off your glasses before looking down at him. His puppy dog eyes cause you to roll your eyes.

“I will once I’m done applying for this job.” You smiled sending him a playful wink. “No now, you always come up with an excuse to shut me up but this time it won’t work.” He sat up and hit you across your face lightly with your pillow, blocking your view. You whined feeling the weight of your laptop disappear from your lap and you knew this was a fight you weren’t going to win.

“Why does it matter, it’s not like I’ve been ignoring him, I respond to his good night and good morning texts every day.” You sat up and reached over to grab your laptop in which he was holding close and tightly to his chest. “Wow girlfriend of the year.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes, turning his body from your grabby hands.

“We’re not dating…please give me my laptop back.” You pulled at his arms as they got tighter around your precious device. You cursed falling back on your bed when you realized your attempts were going to be deemed as unsuccessful. 

You slammed your hands down on your bed in frustration. Seungkwan sighed and set down your laptop on your bedside table before laying down next to you. He poked your cheek, grabbing your attention, your pouty gaze making his heart sink. “I’m scared, what if the same thing that happened with Vernon happens again.” You confessed hitting your palm against your forehead, silently punishing yourself for your stupidity.

“We don’t get anywhere in life letting our fear get in the way of things.” He grabbed your hand and placed it on his chest. “And you can’t keep comparing this potential relationship with the one you and Vernon had because you’ve been given a chance to start over and fall without a care in the world.” He said playing with your fingers gently. “So, ask him out, I know he’s been dying to see you again.”

“How do you know?” You scoffed pulling your hand from his and resting it on top of your stomach. You looked up at the ceiling, counting the small indents that appeared over years of overuse. Your mind racing back to the events that occurred at the middle of the sunflower field as well as what happened after. Which was nothing, you had told Seokmin that you needed time before jumping face first into a brand-new relationship. He had agreed, told you he’d wait for you a whole lifetime again if that’s what you needed, and it broke your heart. You could tell he was a little disappointed. It was written all over his face, despite the smile that adorned it and you couldn’t imagine how he was feeling now, especially with your lack of communication.

“Soonyoung told me.” Seungkwan flicked your forehead bringing out of your daze making you glare at him in the process. You were thankful for him and everything he had done for you throughout your devastating break up with Vernon but sometimes you wished he wouldn’t worry so much. “Wait…when did you get his number?” You sat up leaning your body over and poking his side. He convulsed pushing your hands away before sitting up and crossing his legs under him. “That day at the field while Seokmin paid for your flowers.” He pointed behind you to the vase that held your withered sunflowers. “Also, when are you going to get rid of them, they’re looking a little dead.”

You rolled your eyes and shoved him as hard as you could. He was right, the flowers had been dead for almost two months, but every time you looked at them, they reminded you of Seokmin and that thought alone made you happy. “Never, I’m going to be buried with them. Now get out of my room I need to finish applying for this job.” He nodded reaching over for your laptop and handed it to you before getting off from your bed.

“Fine, but please text him, Soonyoung and I made a bet and so far, he’s winning, and I really really don’t want to give him a cent.” He laughed walking out of your room, holding onto the door handle tightly.

“Seungkwan my love life is not a game.” You shouted, throwing your pillow at him. His eyes grew wide in panic and he ran out of your room, closing your door quickly. Causing your pillow to hit the door and fall to the floor. You shook your head and laid back on your bed, your laptop and job application long forgotten as you eyed your charging phone. Your hands itched to reach out and grab it and finally send the text you had written countless times, but never sent because of fear.

“Fuck it.” You reached over and pulled it off the charging cable, unlocking it and opening your message app. Seokmin’s good morning text sat unread at the top of the list. Your heart palpitated as you typed the message you had memorized and counted to ten before hitting send. You panicked throwing your phone across your bed and getting off it, the sweat forming on your hands as they shook. You ran out of your room, down the hallway and into the kitchen, your eyes landing on a smug looking Seungkwan as he turned a wine glass in his hand.

“I sent it.”

“Finally, I’m about to be fifty dollars richer.” 

“How do I look?” You walked into the living for the umpteenth time that afternoon, this time you were adorning a sky-blue summer dress and white vans. “Every time you’ve asked me that I’ve told you the same thing, you look great now finish getting ready he’s going to be here in literally ten minutes.”

“I know but each outfit doesn’t feel right.” You threw your hands up and sat on the lounge chair putting your feet on top of the coffee table earning a look of disapproval from Seungkwan. “What if I wear the wrong outfit and the same thing as last time happens.” You pushed your hair back, lightly tugging at your roots. 

“Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I’m the dramatic one in this friendship.” He leaned over and pushed your feet off the coffee table making you pout. “A bad outfit isn’t going to trigger what happened with Vernon, so calm down and touch up your make or hair. Whatever you need to do because now you have a solid five minutes before he gets here.” Seungkwan stood up from his seat and pulled you up from the lounge chair.

“See, I knew my outfit was bad. Now I have to go change again.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes while he pushed you back into your room. “It was a hypothetical, you look beautiful, but what does look bad is your hair so fix it because time is ticking and neither of us are getting any younger.” He guided you to your mirror waving his hands around your disheveled hair, scolding at yourself for having the terrible habit of pulling on it whenever you were anxious or frustrated.

“Fine, but can you keep on the lookout.” You spoke your eyes growing wide, the feeling of panic rushing through your veins when the doorbell sounded. “Looks like I don’t need to.” Seungkwan grabbed your brush and handed it to you before exiting your room, closing the door behind him. “Don’t change or I’ll come in here and drag you out in whatever terrible outfit you have on.” He scolded the sound of his feet getting softer as he neared the front of the apartment.

You sighed putting down your brush and smoothed out your hair as much as you could before tying in back in a loose half up and half down style. You slowly counted to ten putting on your earrings and the rings you could find on top of your messy dresser. You gave yourself one last look, whispering words of encouragement and walked out. Seungkwan and Seokmin’s animated voices getting louder as you got closer to the living room.

“Tell Hoshi I’m expecting his payment by tonight.” Seungkwan jokes. Seokmin threw his head back in laughter, making you roll your eyes.  

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” You cleared your throat, putting your cross-body bag on and gripping the leather strap tightly to keep your hands from shaking. Seokmin’s laughter died down as he turned to face you, a blush appearing on his cheeks as he took in your appearance. “It’s okay I didn’t wait long.” He shook his head smiling, he extended his free hand to you before quickly exchanging it with the one that held the flowers. “These are for you. I wasn’t sure if I should get you the daisies, the roses, or the lilies so I got you all three.” His nervous eyes left yours and looked around looking for another point of focus.

“I love them, thank you so much.” You took them from him, holding them close, a color of array of emotions bursting inside of you making you feel as if you were being reborn.

“Alright, you two get out of here, go have fun.” Seungkwan broke the silence taking your flowers from you. He gave you a pointed look as he shuffled the two of you out. “Have her home by midnight.” He opened the front door signaling the two of you out. “Will do, it was nice seeing you again Seungkwan.” Seokmin walked out leaving you behind to follow him through the compressed doorway.

“I’m terribly sorry about him.” You sent Seungkwan a glare, his tongue poking out at you in a teasing manner before shutting the door.

“He should meet the rest of my friends. I think they’d get along very well.”

Seokmin and you walked in silence, your hands brushing against one another daring to feel each other’s warmth. The sweet melodies of the night life filling in the pockets of the comfortable silence that was lingering in the air around you. A few sorry’s and excuse me’s were exchanged by oblivious passer-byes making the two of you exchange inconspicuous stares. Smiles etching from side to side, cheeks flushing dark crimson. Your hearts matching time unbeknownst to the outside world.

You tried to come up with anything to say though you ended up falling short. Even though the silence that was between the two of you was loud, blaring in forms of sirens. It wasn’t enough to overwhelm you, and for that you were thankful.

“We’re here.” Seokmin finally broke the silence, his shoulders settling to a calm composure. He grabbed the door handle and opened it, stepping aside giving you room to walk in.

The second you did you were hit with a colorful aroma of different tea blends, sweets and spices. The quirky designs and phrases decorating the different walls jumped out at you. And the calm soothing vibe warmed up your insides, calming your nerves.

Seokmin came up behind you finally crossing the line the two of you had unknowingly laid out. “I hope you don’t mind this is my favorite boba shop, I know it’s not ideal, but I was really drawing a blank when you texted me earlier.” Seokmin placed a hand on your shoulder, making your breath hitch as he stood behind you patiently waiting to be attended.

“It’s okay, I love it, plus we have other chances to go on more extravagant dates.” You exaggerated, giving him a warm smile. Seokmin swore he had been lifted up into heaven and dropped once he saw the light on your face.

“I’d love nothing more.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze before wrapping it around your front, gently pulling you close. “T-This okay?” He asked, his voice wavering at the end giving you the indication that he too was unfamiliar with this new ocean the two of you had plunged yourselves into. “Yes, this is perfect.” You answered a little too excited.

“Great, what do you want then?” Seokmin pointed to the menu behind the front counter. You looked up skimming through the various flavors and options silently before turning your head to face him. “Why don’t you choose me?”

“Are you sure, you’re putting a lot of trust in me. This decision could either make or break us.” He joked moving with you as the person in front stepped up to order. You smiled, shaking your head, bringing up a hand and intertwining it with the one Seokmin had around you.

“I guess you better choose wisely then.”

In the end Seokmin ended up ordering four different flavors of boba tea. All this favorite.

The cashier had given the two of you strange looks, probably wondering why the hell two people needed four drinks and it only made you laugh even harder. Seokmin had given you a pointed look before breaking into a smile, that you swore could light up every room. It made your heart skip a beat, fill you up with happiness that you hadn’t felt ever since that day at the park with Vernon. Making you realize that that was the last time you had felt that type of happiness. 

“So why four?”

“I just ordered all my favorites, just in case my favorite favorite wasn’t your favorite.” Seokmin placed two of the drinks down onto the table, the two of you indiscreetly walked too. He waited for you to take your seat before taking his, at his respectful side of the tiny booth.

“So, which one is your favorite favorite?” You leaned your elbows forward toying with the plastic wrap of one of the straws.

“The mango green tea one.” He nodded pushing the drink in question towards you. You snickered, breaking the plastic wrap, lifting your hand to break the lid, stopping short when you noticed Seokmin’s hand covering the lid. “Before you try it, promise me this won’t be our first and last date.” He whispered his eyes all but pleading making your heart sink.

Sighing you brought your hand down, setting the straw aside. You put your hands over his, lifting it up to your lips, giving them a gentle kiss. You couldn’t blame him for asking. You had ignored him for almost three months, only answering his good morning and good night texts. He had every right to doubt you and your word. Without his knowledge you were putting back the pieces that were left behind after five years of living in a perfect illusion. Vernon still lived in the back of your mind, sometimes his memories still made your heart flutter and the what if’s still kept you up at night.

It was a conversation you needed to have with Seokmin, he didn’t deserve to be lied to or kept in the dark, especially because your heart wasn’t all that there yet. And because his was still innocent and pure, but for tonight you would bask in your dream world. Make promises you weren’t sure you could keep yet, because a part of you was starting to desperately cling onto him. 

“Seokmin I promise.”

There was a first time for everything.

And for the first time in your life you had laughed so hard to the point you had milk tea coming out of your nose.

“Sorry.” Seokmin’s demeanor fell, stopping his over dramatic retelling of how he and his friends came to own a pottery studio. He panicked, a troubled expression replacing his soft gaze, scrambling to get a napkin out of the holder. You tried to regain your breathing as he handed you a handful of napkins, but your imagination took over and you doubled over in laughter, your forehead coming down onto the table. The images of Seokmin and his friends dressed as cats, dancing and singing along to the musical soundtrack in order to convince the previous owner to hand over the studio with the first six months of rent paid. Replaying in your mind like a movie reel.

“D-Don’t be t-that’s the funniest thing someone’s ever told me, and I’ve known Seungkwan for half of my adult life.” You panted and placed your hand on your chest, your stomach throbbing in blissful pain. Seokmin smiled, his cheeks blushing red. He reached over cradling your cheek gently, wiping your nose. The situation finally became clear and you flushed in embarrassment.

“You’re cute.” He whispered, his face lighting up before he gave your cheek an awkward kiss from across the table. “I think I’ve embarrassed myself here today more than I have my entire life.” You let out a small laugh, your hand coming up to your forehead and hitting it lightly with the palm of your hand. 

“Like I said, you’re cute.” Seokmin removed your hand, locking his fingers with yours before sitting back in his seat. “Can I come sit over there?” You toyed with the straw of your drink, signaling to the empty space next to him with your head. Seokmin nodded, tugging on your hand lightly signaling that his impatience was close to take over. You removed your hand from his hold and stood up. He eyed you carefully as you smoothed out your dress, the light blue hue brought out the beauty of your smooth skin. It complimented the sparkle that lived behind your eyes making them look as if they held the entire universe behind them.

For the first time in his entire life, Seokmin finally understood the hype around the color blue. 

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder after you sat down. You put your head on his shoulder, blushing when you felt his body stiffen. “Will you take me to the studio one day?” Your index finger coming up to play with the water ring your drinks had left behind on the table.

“If you do me a favor.” He swallowed trying his best to get his body to relax, but it felt as if it were on fire and no amount of water would be able to put it out. “I’m not dressing up as a cat and dancing for you, if that’s what you want.” You looked up as he started to cough, his eyes wide as he choked on air due to your statement. His mind wandered to places it shouldn’t ever wander and he wanted to slap himself mentally as well as physically. You sat up and patted his back, a knowing smile forming on your face and made a mental note to add what you had said to the list of embarrassing things that had happened today.

“N-No nothing like that, t-that wasn’t what I meant.”

“I know I was just messing with you.” You poked his nose and it only made him blush even harder, and it made your ego swell knowing you had such an effect on him. “What is it?”

“Please stop calling me Seokmin, it makes me feel like I’m in trouble with my mom.” He chuckled awkwardly, bringing up a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it awkwardly. “What do I call you then?” You cocked your head to the side, bringing a hand up to smooth the collar of his button down shirt. It had been bothering you the entire night, but you didn’t have it in you to fix it. Afraid you were crossing a boundary either of you were ready to cross. But seeing as how the events were playing out you assumed it was alright.

“Call me DK.”

“Like the video game character?” Another fit of laughter threatening to break through the surface. Seokmin sighed, shaking his head in disbelief before pulling you close to his body. “Could be, but it’s short for Dokyeom.” He grabbed your hand from his chest and hooked his pinky with yours, swinging them in front of your bodies. You acknowledged, taking in your bottom lip in between your teeth. The butterflies that had been growing throughout the night in the pit of your stomach were having a field day. It was scary, you had only known him for almost three hours, and you were reading to risk it all once again.

“How about I call you baby instead?”

“Say it one more time?” Seokmin had you pressed against the outside wall of your apartment. Your hold on the doorknob faltered as you felt his lips hover over your own. “Baby,” You whispered, finally letting go of the doorknob and wrapping your arm around his neck.

“That’s my new favorite song.” He stated pressing your body closer to his, lifting you away from the wall. “Is that so…baby.” Seokmin groaned hiding his face in the crook of your neck. A tiny laugh falling out of your lips. You wrapped your hands around him, running your hands down his back gently.

“Please let me kiss you.”

Seokmin pleaded, lifting his head up to face you. A teasing smirk settling on your lips as you took the disparity behind his beautiful eyes. “Nope, you haven’t earned that privilege yet.” You pushed him away gently, stepping aside and finally entering the passcode to your front door. 

“Ask me to be your girlfriend first.” You turned the doorknob, his arms snaking around your waist, his breath tickling the shell of your ear, the adrenaline you had felt throughout the night intimidating a breakthrough. 

“Will you be my gir—.” You turned around quickly covering his mouth with your hand, the panic evident behind his glimmering eyes. “Not here, not now Seokmin.” You brought your hand down and he pulled away, taking his arms with him. “You’re right I’m sorry.” He hit his forehead gently with a closed fist, mumbling indiscreetly underneath his breath. For a second you thought you had ruined everything.

“I-I want you to be sure first, I don’t want to rush into anything.” You said as reassuringly as possible, the tiny fear demon in your mind finally coming out to play as it filled you with your doubts “I know, I’m sorry…sometimes I get too carried away, but I meant what I said the first time I met you.” He stuffed his hands inside his pockets, shrugging awkwardly. “I just hope that one day you can tell me what’s holding you back.”

“Seokmin it’s just that I—.”

“You don’t have to tell me today, but I promise I’ll listen to you when you’re ready.” He nodded closing the gap you had created and gave your forehead a gentle kiss. “Goodnight, sleep tight…baby.” He winked before stepping back and walking out of your line of sight leaving you breathless and overwhelmed, to the point where all you wanted to do was cry, because to say the least you were still scared and confused.  

You let out a sigh and turned around punching in the passcode, impatiently waiting for the door to click open. You angrily shuffled inside your apartment, closing the door behind you. You placed your forehead against it, toeing off your shoes and pushing them aside. You took a deep breath and counted to ten before facing Seungkwan who was without a doubt going to be waiting for you to hear all about how your date went. You plastered on your best fake smile, going over points Seungkwan was sure to ask in your head and turned around, expecting to see him on the couch dramatically twirling a glass of Rosé in his hand. 

And you wished that’s what you were met with, but like always the universe had its way of working and for a while it had been working against you. So of course, you were met with Seungkwan, a forgotten bottle of Rosé on the coffee table as he held onto Vernon while he sobbed into his arms.

“W-What’s wrong?”

The minute you laid eyes on Vernon you felt like your whole world collapsed into tiny shards of glass at your feet. You couldn’t breathe. It was as if your lungs were being crushed by two weights of pressure. You stood there in the middle of the living room, your words getting caught at the back of your throat, while Seungkwan ushered a sobbing Vernon out into the balcony of the small apartment. Leaving you behind to deal with your own curses. Seungkwan gave you one last sympathetic look almost as if he were telling you that he had everything under control. Yet, it didn’t help ease your newfound anxiousness as all you wanted to do was run outside and push Seungkwan away to comfort the boy you once loved. The same one a part of your soul still loved and held onto for dear life in fear that one day you would wake up and forget what it was like to ever be loved by him.

It was overwhelming. The feeling bubbled up inside of you as you retreated from the living room and made your way into your own room, looking for an escape. You were met with your four walls and memories that were buried deep into the archives of your mind started to play. Reminding you just how much you truly longed for Vernon. Reminding you just how much craved for his touch. 

It was cruel. The tricks your mind was playing on you and for a moment you let it consume you. Deciding that this was it for you and you had a good but unfortunate run but it was too much for your poor body to handle.

Like that the seconds passed and then came the minutes and eventually four hours had gone by with you having no recollection of what you had done. How you changed out of your blue dress or when you had replied to Seokmin’s text with a simple: I’m fine, miss you already. Another lie you could add onto your belt. Your self hatred growing as time slowed down everything around you making it seem as if you were underwater.

Maybe one day you’ll finally be strong enough to face him and tell him the truth. Open your chest up to him and let him in on your soul crushing secret because he deserved to know the truth. But that time wasn’t now, at least not while you sat against the door frame of your bedroom door. Looking out into a dark lonely hallway hoping that the next person to come through wasn’t the one you wanted to hold.

You wanted to scream out into the void. Scream at the universe for being so cruel. Scream at Seokmin for finding you when you were still hurting. And you wanted to scream at Vernon for showing up in such a state that made you want to drop everything and give him the entire world again. But whenever you opened your mouth nothing but silence came out. Leaving you behind to deal with feelings you didn’t fully understand.

“He wants to see you.” Seungkwan’s voice brought you back down to Earth. You looked up, running your hands over your tear stained face, meeting his pained expression. Another thing you could add to the list of things you hated about yourself.

Seungkwan didn’t deserve to be caught in between two broken people and act as their mediator. He deserved a life where he wasn’t constantly picking up the pieces and breaking his neck to offer comfort to two selfish people that clearly did not deserve it. Every night you found yourself hoping he’d finally realized this. You hoped he’d leave you behind and continue the life he had put on pause for you and Vernon. You hoped he could find better friends that finally saw him as someone more than just a shoulder to cry. Your wishes falling onto deaf ears because he was still here wiping away your tears.

“He wants to talk to you.” He crouched down in front of you and gently flicked your forehead. “I don’t want to see him.” You whispered resting your cheek against your knees as you avoided his eyes and looked out into the dark hallway again. “I’m scared.” A tiny sob fell out of his lips as he sighed, taking a seat in front of you.

“Not as scared as he is right now.” Seungkwan placed a hand on top of your head and smoothed out the frizziness that had occurred over your neglect. “I helped him as much as I could now I’m passing the torch down on to you because I think you can offer him a lot more than what I can.”

“I can’t...a broken person can’t help another broken person. We tried it before and it ended in a mess.”

“Then don’t try to help him and just listen to him.”

“What if I say or do something wrong and I just make everything worse?.” You lifted up your head and met Seungkwan’s frustrated gaze. He ran his soft hands over your cheeks wiping away the tears that had silently started to decorate your face again. He placed a soft comforting kiss against your forehead before standing up and offered you his hands.

“I doubt you can make him feel even worse than he already does.”

You held the beer cans Seungkwan had laughably shoved in your arms close to your chest. Your eyes stung from the salty tears that had been pouring out. It frustrated you because it seemed like the only thing you could do nowadays was cry. It made you feel weak and worthless.

There was a little voice in the back of your head that was scolding you. Telling you to suck it up because whatever was going on with Vernon had nothing to do with you or the beautiful tragic past the two of you shared. You had realized this hours ago, yet you still cried as if you were the one at fault or the one feeling his pain with him. 

That was something the universe didn’t take into account when she had rudely decided to split the two of you up. No matter what happened or where the two of you ended up in life you’d always be connected by a single string. Your life lines belonged to one another, the pain he felt you felt it to. 

Maybe that was the aftermath of this whole soulmate fiasco or maybe it was something you made up to give yourself comfort. But at least he didn’t have to endure it all alone.

You took a deep breath before sliding open the balcony door. The humidity of the summer air hitting you square in the face causing the feeling of suffocation to return. Yet somehow it still sent shivers up your spin as if it were winter. A side effect of being in the presence of your past lover.

His back was turned to you and you would’ve thought he hadn’t noticed you if it weren’t for the awkward shift of his legs and the tension in the air. He looked down at the nightlife that had started to crowd the streets for their daily rituals. A soft hot breeze blew dancing with a few strands of his hair, while the annoying billboard that covered the sky view from your bedroom window casted a faint spotlight on him.

“You wanted to see me?” You cleared your throat and closed the balcony door behind you. Vernon turned around, his swollen eyes and tear stained face matched yours. “Can I give you a hug?” He choked out, his lips trembling slightly. You nodded and placed the beer cans down onto the small patio table before closing the gap between the two of you. A broken sob fell out of his lips when your arms finally found their way around his frame. You held him tightly, breathing in his familiar scent, feeling the goosebumps rise along your arms as you rubbed soothing circles down his back. Your own eyes brimming with tears as you felt him shake in your arms and it broke you.

“What happened?” You broke the silence with the question that had been lingering in your mind for hours. Vernon raised his head and you reached over to gently wipe away his tears with the sleeves of your hoodie. He pulled away from you once you retreated your hands and walked over to the balcony railing, turning his back to you. You were left standing there unsure if you should follow him or keep your feet planted in the spot a few feet away from him.

“I think the world has a personal vendetta against me.” He shrugged, breaking the suffocating silence. You grabbed the beer cans and walked over and stood next to him. “That’s a pretty big claim don’t you think?” You handed him a can. His fingertips slightly brushing over yours, sending a jolt of sparkling shivers up your spine.

“The person I saw myself growing old with turned out to not be the person the universe had picked out for me and the person the universe did pick out for me died last night. I’d say it’s the right claim to make.” He laughed bitterly opening the beer can and taking a generous drink from it.

“L-Last night, Vernon you’re not shitting me are you? I just had lunch with them yesterday.” You shook your head bringing a hand up to your face and slapping your cheeks gently. Your head didn’t want to settle down and your heart was starting to speed up. It was impossible you had seen them not even twenty four hours ago. You had laughed over a funny video on their phone and bonded over a book two of you had been consequently reading.

“You two were friends?” Vernon exclaimed his voice containing hints of underlying shock and confusion. “I guess we were.” You shrugged and opened up your beer can. “I didn’t mean to befriend them at first. I reached out to them after you left cause I knew you were in contact with them and since Kwanie wasn’t telling me anything about you at first. I thought that if I got close to them, they would eventually bring you up and I’d finally know how you were.” You finished bringing the can up to your lips and took a few sips. The bitter taste hitting your tongue making you groan in annoyance.

“Did I come up?” He glanced over at you, a sneaky smirk forming on his lips at your confusion. “Only when they found a way to insert an apology over the events of that night. Even after all the times I had told them that it was fine. That I was fine.”

“Are you fine?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” You grinned, bumping your hips with his making him stumble. “Everyone already has. I wanted to spice things up for once.” He smiled up at the night sky. You watched making it obvious that you were. The stars sparkled behind his tired eyes reminding you of all the wishes you had made whenever you looked into them. Some of them came true others didn’t and it had torn you apart until one day it didn’t.

“I don’t matter right now Vernon.” You took a sip from your beer cringing at the taste once again. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t drinking for the pleasure, but for the strength you needed to be next to him right now.

Vernon blew out a raspberry and took the last sip of his beer before turning to face you. He grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips kissing each of your knuckles before placing it on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch basking in the feeling of having you next to him again. You took a deep breath as the hand holding his beer can circled around your waist and brought you close. He opened his eyes once he felt your chest against his, soft eyes running over your features carefully taking in everything that had stayed the same but had also subtly changed. Vernon freed your hand letting his fingers run up your arm until they reached your chin.

His touch ignited your insides. The world falling away over the horizon leaving two broken souls behind reveling in each other's warmth once again.

“You will always matter to me.”

You tried everything to keep the tension between the two of you at bay. To keep your focus on his words rather than the way his lips moved as he explained his soulmate’s unfortunate death.

It had been a hit and run and it filled you up with anger. Anger that you had never once had the privilege of experiencing until the words escaped Vernon’s mouth. “I just feel guilty. I never gave them a chance. I ran away when I realized things wouldn’t go back to normal and now I’m sure I’m being punished for it.” Vernon sighed and brought his fourth beer up to his lips, taking a decent sip from it before gazing over at you. His eyes shined as if they held a thousand tiny little universes and you found it difficult to look away.

The space between the two of you disappeared and you found yourselves shifting closer to one another as if pulled by two magnets. Your legs were resting on top of his thighs and his warm hand wrapped around your calves, rubbing soothing circles against your skin. The light of the billboard casted a warm glow onto the two of you making the setting a little more intimate than intended. But neither of you found yourselves complaining. 

“Vernon, don’t say that...they understood our situation and they wanted to wait until you were ready.” You reached over and pushed a fallen strand of his hair back, your heart beating out time and you felt as if the entire world had stopped. It was a known fact that you two were reaching into uncharted territory but neither of you wanted to hit the brakes just yet. Maybe it was the unfinished business between the two of you or the lingering feelings that would always remain. But you had decided to blame it on your vulnerability, the stupid billboard light and the beers shared between the two of you.

Whatever it was, you didn’t want it to stop.

“I think I really could’ve loved them.” Vernon let out a sigh and sat back, his hand squeezing your calf. “Maybe not in the way I loved you, but in a way that could’ve been special between the two of us. I talked to them almost every day and each time I found my heart jumping out of my chest. It was as if I was a kid in high school again scared to comfort their crush.” He sighed and looked up at the sky, silently counting the tiny little dots of light that could’ve been stars or planets from universes across.

You watched him carefully, finally taking in how much he had changed from the last time you saw him. He had grown out a little bit of stubble, slight bags stood underneath his eyes and his cheeks were red from the sun. A clear indication that he had not once thought of putting on sunscreen and you wondered if he did it to hear your voice nagging him in the back of his mind. Or if he finally felt free to do whatever he wanted. Either way he was different, not just physically but there was something about him you couldn’t pinpoint. And it frustrated you because before you would have been able to read him as if he were your favorite book. Now you had lost a few pages along the way and you didn’t know where to turn too anymore.

“So what happens now?” You whispered tilting your head to the side, the droplets of your forgotten beer running down your fingers. He sighed and looked over at you before reaching over and massaging the creases between your brows. He always scolded you about it, told you your face was a piece of art and didn’t need any extra tension. And although you had never believed him before and brushed it off as a joke, the way he was looking at you as if you were his entire world made you believe him.

“Your guess is as good as mine. I can still see the world in all its glory, the colors haven’t faded and I don’t think they will.” He brought his hand down your face and cradled your cheek gently. “I think they were it for me. I just wish we had more time.” He nodded before running his index finger across your cheek and down the bridge of your nose stopping just above your cupid’s bow. “But can I tell you a secret.” His eyes filled with hope as the words spilled out of his mouth.

“As long as you don’t make me keep it.”

“You will always be my favorite color.”

It was wrong.

The way Vernon’s lips danced against the skin of your neck as he pushed you up against your bedroom door, was wrong. He wasn’t yours anymore and you weren’t his but you felt the flame burn deep inside you. One that had gone out long before the universe took the man in front of you away. You were feeling it again and letting it consume your entire being. You didn’t want it to stop. 

“We have to be quiet.” You moaned out, fingers playing with the hem of your old graphic tee that you were sure had belonged to him. From what you could remember it had smelled like him once and somewhere along the creases he had left his mark.

“Seems a bit challenging for you.” He teased and pulled away, his lips leaving your skin making you feel empty. He smirked and circled his arms around your waist letting them travel down your back and landing on your ass before giving it a squeeze making you yelp in surprise. He chuckled and pulled you close, “Thought you said we needed to be quiet?” He quirked an eyebrow before leaning down letting his lips hover above yours.

“F-Fuck...just kiss me already.” You whimpered and wrapped your arms around his neck and brought his head closer, but he restrained from closing the gap and you let out a desperate whine. “I miss you angel, I miss you so much I don’t think I can hold myself back anymore.” He confessed his words making their way into your heart and locking themselves in. The little voice in the back of your head yelling at you to stop but you pushed it aside, desperate to feel his warmth again.

“Then don’t”

Vernon’s lips crashed onto yours barely letting the words leave your mouth. You could taste the bitter alcohol on his breath, a reminder that neither of you where in the right mind to be doing this. Yet the fire between the two of you grew. You found yourself ignored the flaring alarms going off in your head again as you kissed him back with the same hunger he was kissing you.

He tapped the side of your hip and mumbled an almost incoherent jump and you obeyed, wrapping your legs around his waist while he held you as close as he could. He pushed the two of you away from the door, his lips desperately dancing against yours. The crude sounds the two of you were making bounced off your bedroom walls and you were sure the two of you were being anything but quiet.

Vernon pulled away and carried you over to your desk removing everything he could before setting you down on top of you. You pushed yourself against him letting the back of your hand brush against the collar of his shirt. He smirked and gave it a tiny peck before finally bringing your shirt over your head and throwing it somewhere behind him.

“Still as beautiful as I remember.” He hummed your face heated up as he attacked your neck again. This time making sure he was leaving his mark on you one last time. You threw your head back moaning his name lost in the pleasure he was giving you when your peripherals caught sight of something that made your heart stop.

The faded yellow of the withered sunflower’s Seokmin had given you were now staring at you in disapproval. You felt your breathing regain speed and it wasn’t because of the way Vernon’s lips traveled down the navel of your breasts. No, it was because reality finally decided to hit you and you were once again planted back down onto Earth.

“Vernon stop.” You choked out. The flame inside of you dying and quickly replacing itself with the poison fear brought with it. Vernon stopped his movements and pulled away as fast as he could. You saw the concern wash over his soft features as his eyes ran all over your face. “What happened, did I do something wrong?” His words raced out of his lungs at the speed of light and he cradled your face in his hands. The tears soon started up again as Seokmin’s laugh rang in your ears. His broken face staring back at you when you had denied him earlier that evening made you feel as if you were the worst human being on planet Earth.

“W-We can’t do this Vernon.” You shook your head trying to avoid his gaze and placed a hand against his chest before pushing him away. Vernon sighed, letting his eyes land on your flower face and somehow he had finally understood what happened. “I know, I’m sorry...I should’ve stopped the minute I kissed you.” His shoulders fell letting the guilt wash over him like a tidal wave. His confession left you broken but he didn’t try to fight you or himself. Instead he created the space you need to breathe and looked around your room for your shirt.

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have egged you on.” You pushed yourself off your desk not caring about the things that had fallen onto the floor and grabbed your shirt from Vernon’s hand. He grinned watching you slip it on before sitting down at the edge of your bed, his forearms resting on his knees.

“We’ve got to be the most fucked up people in this cruel world.” He laughed letting himself fall back onto your bed. You shook your head before sitting down next to him. “Maybe we did something to piss someone off in our past lives and now we’re paying for it.” You shrugged, poking his side lightly making him fold over from the jab that ran through his body.

“Whatever it was...it must’ve been bad.” Vernon mumbled and looked up at your ceiling. The silence raining down over the two of you like a protective shield. Your heart was starting to return to its normal state but the guilt and confusion consumed you greatly. You knew you wouldn’t sleep tonight. You wanted to ask Vernon to stay and keep you company and you almost did as you watched him shut his eyes, peace washing over his body and you wondered what it was like to be held by this new version of him. But you quickly pushed those thoughts aside deciding that there were boundaries you needed to start setting up for both of your sakes.

After all, neither of you belonged to each other anymore.

“Where are you going to sleep?” You finally broke the silence after sitting in it for what felt like hours. He opened his eyes slowly blinking back the sleep as he sat up. “Probably the couch.” He stood up running a hand through his hair before turning to face you. His eyes bore into yours gently and you knew there was something he wanted to tell you but whatever it was it looked like you had to live without knowing because what came out of his mouth was not what you had expected. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He nodded before walking over to your door.

“Goodnight Hansol.” You whispered making him stop dead in his tracks, his birth name falling foreign onto his untrained ears. There was a time in his life where he loved the way your voice danced whenever you said it, but now he realized that he didn’t anymore and that was the hardest pill he would ever have to swallow. So he gave you the gift of a small nod before exiting your room, leaving you behind in your cold bedroom. Your soul felt as if it were in a pool of muddy water and all you wanted to do was call Seokmin, apologize and tell him everything.

“Can you please talk to me?” 

You trailed behind Seungkwan as he pushed the shopping cart into the frozen aisle of the grocery store. 

A week had passed since you accidentally found yourself pinned against your bedroom door with Vernon. A week had passed since the two of you decided to finally start setting boundaries for one another after Seungkwan had scolded the two of you like teenagers on the couch. Since then he had been giving the two of you the silent treatment. A punishment until you and Vernon came to terms with how wrong your actions had been, or so that’s what Seungkwan claimed. 

You knew you had been in the wrong, you knew you should’ve never let it get as far as it did. The disgusting guilt consumed you whenever you saw Vernon wander around the apartment like he owned the place. It tugged on your heartstrings whenever Seungkwan glared at you for standing an inch too close to your ex lover. It feasted upon your flesh whenever you stayed up until the morning dew fogged up your windows, talking to Seokmin. Nothing between the two of you was official yet, and that had been your doing because you couldn’t seem to find a way to confess to him without hurting him and yourself in the process. 

“Nope, not until you tell Dokyeom what happened.” Seungkwan huffed, stopping the shopping cart in front of the frozen pizza freezer. It was your weekly movie night. It had surprised you when Seungkwan brought it up in passing over breakfast that morning because you had assumed with how things were going, and now that Vernon had decided to stay, he would’ve cancelled it. 

“I will, I promise I will. I-I just don’t know how or when.” You walked in front of Seungkwan and opened the freezer door reaching in to grab the triple cheese stuffed crust frozen pizza. “I don’t want to hurt him.” You sighed as you placed down the large box inside of the cart that was filled with an assortment of junk food. 

“That’s the problem BooBoo the fool, you hurt him the second you let Vernon inside your heart again.” He held the freezer door open and reached inside grabbing the frozen hawaiian pizza, making you scrunch your face in disgust. In all the years you had known Seungkwan his taste in pizza was the only flaw he had, though he claimed it was an acquired taste that only the elite understood.

“What am I supposed to do then Kwanie, Vernon will always hold a piece of my heart whether I want him to or not. I spent half a decade loving him and shit like that can’t be forgotten in a few months.” You took liberty in closing the freezer door after Seungkwan had finished grabbing everything else you needed for the movie night. “I feel like you’re being really unfair right now.” 

“I’m not saying you should forget about Vernon, the guys living with us for crying out loud. And he is my best friend, but I’m trying to get you and him to realize that your story together is over and has been for a while. It sucks that the two of you got ripped away from one another, but you know how I always tell you that everything happens for a reason?” Seungkwan glanced over at you while you nodded along to what he was saying, “Then there’s a reason why the two of you were never meant to be.”

“And what reason could that be?”

“Let him go and you’ll find out.”

Whoever reserved Wednesday nights as movie nights, deserves the guillotine. 

Though as much as you hated that they were planted in the smack middle of the week. You will  never complain about it out loud, because you knew it had been your idea to hold them every Wednesday after a very heated argument with Seungkwan that you surprisingly had won. But if you dared to ever mutter out a complaint, he would make sure to never let you hear the end of it. 

“One movie, I have to wake up early for my job interview tomorrow.” You pleaded looking over at the clock that hung over the t.v, that also didn’t work. You had promised you would change the batteries to it months ago but forgotten. You suspected that the only reason Seungkwan hadn’t taken matters into his own hands was because he wanted it to serve as an annoying reminder for you. 

“Wait, you have a job interview?” Vernon exclaimed in surprise as he walked out of the kitchen in a hurry with the pizza box burning his hands. “Yeah, at the school a few blocks away from here.” You shrugged, throwing the pillows you were carrying in your hands onto the makeshift fort the three of you had tried to create. Keyword tired, it was falling apart the more you stared at it. 

“You’re going to be a teacher again?” Vernon’s face lit up as he set down the pizza box onto the coffee table that had been decorated to the T with all the junk food you and Seungkwan brought home. Seungkwan cleared his throat as he came into the living room again, his arms overflowing with all the blankets he could find. He threw them down landing on top of the pillows you had once held in your hands, before crossing his arms in front of him, closely eyeing the two of you.

You rolled your eyes and turned your attention to Vernon who had taken it upon himself to start digging into the hawaiian pizza, “I hope so, a job position opened up last week so I decided to send in my resume and they called me on Monday to schedule an interview.” 

“That’s great--ow, bubs, I’m really happy for you.” Vernon said as he fanned his mouth after stupidly biting into the fresh out of the oven pizza. You nodded and turned to face Seungkwan who was glaring at Vernon while he ate his precious fit for royalty pizza. 

“Let’s hope I get it, nothing is set in stone yet.” 

“They’d be fools to not hire you. You’re amazing. I know they’d fall for you the second they hear how passionate you are about teaching.” Vernon assured as he blew onto his pizza, stopping to look at you for a split second, “I know I did.” He shrugged before tearing his eyes away from yours and taking another bite out of his pizza, making an O shape with his mouth to avoid getting burned again. 

It was strange. If Vernon would have told those exact words last week out on the balcony, you would’ve melted at his feet. You would’ve never stopped him from going any further and you would’ve probably tried to erase Seokmin from your mind. But hearing those words escape Vernon’s pink lips now that he stood in your living room arguing with Seungkwan about hawaiian pizza. His words did nothing for you. They didn’t make your heart race, they didn’t make your palms sweat and they didn’t make your ears flare up in heat. 

The only thing his words did was etch their way into your heart and fill you up with nostalgia, but not the kind that had you longing for his touch. The kind that made you happy that you had once been able to call him yours once. Maybe it was sign or step one of you finally being able to move on.

“Thanks Soli, I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You were pacing in front of the main office for what seemed like hours, trying to calm your nerves down. You figured that moving around was better than sitting still and letting your thoughts race through your head, while you were at stand still. Though pacing wasn’t working either because your interview was scheduled to be at nine and it was nearing ten, and the dirty looks from the receptionist wasn’t helping your case either. 

“Jeonghan I don’t know what you want me to do? I already sat down with the two of them and told them violence is never the answer.” The door to the administration office finally opened making the receptionist sigh out a sign of relief. As you scrambled to collect the stuff you had placed down on the waiting chairs behind you, you made a mental note to apologize to her before you left today. 

“Seokmin don’t worry about it...I’ll contact the parents and see where we can go from there.” You felt the air catch itself in your throat as you slowly turned around to meet a very worried looking Seokmin. He hadn’t noticed you yet and you hoped he wouldn’t because the last thing you needed was to have him running through your mind during your interview. So, you stood there looking like a deer caught in the headlight while he continued chatting with the other man next to him. His voice filled with concern and it made your heart swell knowing how much he seemed to care about the issue at hand. 

“Oh you must be here for the new teacher position right?” An unfamiliar voice sounded making you jump out of your days and thank god it did because you were about to let your mind wander to what having kids with Seokmin would be like. And that was something you weren’t ready to imagine, especially not when he looked good enough to eat in his work clothes.

“U-Um yeah I’m--”

“Sweetheart, what are you doing here?” Seokmin finally noticed you. The excitement in his voice made the heat flare up along your face and you tightened your hold on your things pressing them against your chest,  as your eyes traveled from his sparkling ones to the very shocked ones of the receptionist and finally landing on the man next to him who was out of this world confused. “Sweetheart? You two know each other?” He questioned signaling to the space between you and Seokmin with his index finger. 

“Hannie this is the girl I’ve been telling you guys about.” 

“Oh, the one you never shut up about.” He nodded, sending you a knowing wink. Was there anything worse than your possible future boss finding out you were in cahoots with one of his teacher’s before actually getting the job? Probably not because you were currently wishing for the ground to swallow you up. But it made you feel a little better knowing Seokmin was wishing the same thing, judging from the redness of his cheeks. 

“I-I’m here to get interviewed for the new teacher position.” You nodded reassuring yourself more than anything. “I didn’t know you were a teacher, I thought you owned a pottery studio?” You looked at Seokmin who was cutely rubbing the back of his neck as he giggled underneath his breath. Your heart convulsing and now you weren’t so sure you wanted the job if it meant having your heart erupting out of your chest twenty four seven, seven days a week.

“I do, but Minghao runs it during the week with our other friend Mingyu. Soonyoung and I are in charge of it during the weekends.” He smiled and took a step forward ignoring the looks Jeonghan and the receptionist were giving one another, and somehow you knew this whole situation was going to be the hot topic of the week in the teacher’s lounge. “I’m really glad you’re here.” He finally closed the distance before pulling you in for a hug, “I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you.” He whispered before kissing your temple lightly and pulling away. 

“Alright, lovebird you have a science class to teach and I have an interview to conduct.” Jeonghan voiced shooing Seokmin with his hands making your sweet lover boy laugh. 

“Good luck baby.” Seokmin threw you a kiss before exiting the main office, the door closing in behind him. Leaving you alone and deserted with your smirking future boss and nosey receptionist. Your nerves had subsided to almost nothing but now your mind was consumed with Seokmin and you weren’t sure if you were going to survive your interview without letting your mind wander to the loving future that was creeping up on you. 

Jeonghan huffed and turned on his heels signaling for you to follow him, “I hope you know that just because my best friend and one of my teachers is head over heels for you, doesn’t mean you get special treatment. I still need to make sure you’re right for the job, and let me tell you sweetheart you have competition.”

“I didn’t expect you to go easy on me anyway.” 

Jeonghan closed the file he had in front of him before lacing his fingers together on top of them and leaned forward, eyeing you closely. “Can I give you some advice?” Jeonghan titled his head, his glasses that didn’t have lenses sliding off the bridge of his nose. The entire time he was interviewing you had tried your best to not laugh at his ridiculous antics. But seeing as this was your first and most likely last time you were going to see him, you figured that you would keep it to yourself for now.

“U-Um yeah...of course.” You rushed out a little too eagerly, your nerves once again getting the best of you. They had been in control for the twenty minutes Jeonghan had been interviewing you, but now as he stared you down, you felt your nerves coming crashing down like an ocean wave.

“I’m hesitant on hiring you, your track record is spotless and you’re probably the best candidate for the job--” He sighed and ran a bony hand through his dark hair while leaning back in his chair. You knew your rejection was coming but you didn’t expect it to be so soon. You were hoping to at least make it home cry about how awful your interview had gone before burying yourself in a pint of cookie dough ice cream while Seungkwan lectured you all whilst simultaneously trying to keep your hopes up.

“--But I don’t know how I feel about two of my teacher’s dating, especially if you’re going to have the evidence on full display.” He raised his pen and pointed to the side of your neck where you knew Vernon’s evidence was still on you, a reminder of the sin you had committed a week ago. Your eyes grew wide as you panicked and slapped your hand on the side of your neck. A smirk appeared on Jeonghan’s face as he smugly crossed his arms in front of him. The realization hit you a little too late because now it became clear that he was only testing you and sadly you had failed.

“I’m sorry, um...I--I.” You shook your head, your hand falling down slowly and landing on your lap. There was nothing you could say in order to fix your mistake, you could only hope that Jeonghan wasn’t one of those people who loved to gossip because the last thing you wanted was to ruin a relationship that hadn’t gotten the chance to blossom. “Can you please not tell Seokmin.” A soft whisper fell from your lips, aware that you were throwing yourself under the bus, but what else could you do?  You had already lost the job, you didn’t want to lose Seokmin as well, at least not yet.

“Ah, so it’s not from Dokyeom...bummer I was ready to tease him about it all week..” He shrugged and leaned his elbows on his desk along with his body. “So you’re two timing him? And here I was starting to believe that our precious Dokyeom had finally found love.” He tsked, shaking his head, “I must say I’m incredibly disappointed, I thought I was the cruel one.” 

“No, no, no, it’s not like that, it’s just--,” Your hands had started to shake on your lap, underneath Jeonghan’s amused stare. “--it’s complicated, more than you can imagine.” The confession stumbled out and you heard him let out a dry laugh. 

“I have no doubt in my mind that whatever the situation is, is not an easy one but I suggest figuring your shit out before roping in one of my friends. Dokyeom has been through enough and I have no idea how he still keeps that smile of his on his face knowing the shit he’s been through.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I know you don’t believe me but I have been trying.” 

“You’re right I don’t but I’m also not the one that needs to believe you.” He shrugged standing up from his chair and rounded the corner of his desk, stopping in front of you and leaning against it. “This isn’t a conversation you and I need to have, and all I ask of you is to have it with the person that’s meant to hear your words.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” you nodded and smoothed down the wrinkles of your dress. “Thank you for the interview.” 

“Cheer up princess.” He laughed and extended his hand in front of him for you to take. You looked up at him hesitantly before grabbing his hand and letting him pull you up. “You got the job.” He smiled before letting go of your hand and walking towards his office door leaving you behind as you tried to figure out if you heard him right. “Now come on it’s almost lunchtime, I’m starving and we have a ton of paperwork to sign.”

“Wait you’re not shitting me are you?” 

“If I was, I would’ve told you to leave the second you answered my first question, now let’s go.” He signaled you over while opening the door. You scrambled tripping over the leg of the chair you had just been sitting in making him roll his eyes. Now you understood why he had called himself the cruel one because Yoon Jeonghan was quite literally the reincarnation of the devil. 

“Excuse my language but you’re an asshole.” 

“I’ve been called worse sweetheart.” 

“Are we celebrating?” Seungkwan’s voice excitedly boomed through the speaker of your phone as you climbed up the steps of your apartment building. After you had gone through the mountain of paper’s that Jeonghan and the school district had you signing. You had declined his offer on having lunch with him and all the other teachers, giving him the poor excuse of already having lunch plans with your best friend. You could tell he wanted to say something but instead he bid you farewell before telling you to come over on Friday after school for a tour of the school, as well as to show you where your classroom was going to be. “Please tell me we’re celebrating, I already sent Hansol to buy the cake, the streamers, balloons, champagne and the pizza.” 

“I get my classroom on Friday and I start next Wednesday.” You voiced while punching in the code to enter your building, the buzzer sounded indicating that you could enter the lobby. You heard screaming from the other side of the phone followed by shushing noises. “Focus on your job Kwanie.” 

“But this is more exciting,” He whined, making you shake your head in disbelief. If Seungkwan wasn’t the best entertainment lawyer at his firm you were sure he would’ve been fired ages ago. “How’d the interview go, I’m guessing good because now you’re employed.”

“It went awful, trust me I was expecting to still be unemployed.” You pressed the button to the elevator, watching as the numbers counted down slowly. The anticipation of getting into your bed again was killing you as the numbers got closer to the ground floor. “Then how do you have a job now?” Seungkwan questioned before letting out a gasp at the same time the elevator dinged announcing it’s rival. “You didn’t...you know, do inappropriate things to get the job did you?” 

“I’m offended that you’ve known me for years and yet still think so lowly of me.” You entered the elevator and pressed the number to your floor, leaning against the elevator railings and watched as the doors closed in front of you. “Of course I didn’t.”

“I don’t know after what happened last week, I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” 

“Jeonghan lectured me already about this after my interview. I don’t need you hanging it over my head again.” 

“Wait bubs, who’s Jeonghan.”

“Oh, my boss.” The elevator stopped and slowly opened its doors. You pushed yourself off the wall and walked out, bringing your purse in front of you to fish out the keys to your apartment. “I think you two would get along, you're both equally as cruel.” 

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult, but I don’t have time to be offended because now I’m just confused. How does he know?” 

“Surprise! Seokmin is my co-worker and I ran into him before my interview--”

“He’s your coworker and your future baby daddy. This is wild bubs I would not like to have a love story like yours… no offense.” 

“Whatever Kwanie, the point is the demon that is my ex boyfriend left a hickey on me last week and it still hasn’t gone away. So my boss saw, lectured me about it and somehow I ended up with the job.” You sighed, dropping your key back into your purse and pushed your already opened front door with the toe of your shoe. Vernon always had a habit of never closing the door completely and it had terrified you a few times, especially when word got around that there was a serial robber on the loose in the area the two of you used to live in. 

“Maybe you heard wrong, are you sure you got the job?” Seungkwan questioned and you could almost picture the raise of his eye brow along with his scold. “This doesn’t sound like you got the job to me, maybe you should call them just to make sure.” 

“I got it, I already signed all the paperwork.” You shook your head toeing off your shoes, noticing that Vernon’s vans were missing, which meant he still wasn’t home and you had maybe a few minutes of peace to yourself.

“This all sounds a little too suspicious now, but congratulations I’m proud of you...I guess.” 

“Thanks you’re the best, I’ll call you later I think I’m going to shower so I can contemplate all my life choices.” You said holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you placed your stuff down on top of the kitchen counter. “Also pizza two days in a row are you okay?”

“I’m fine, can’t say the same thing about you though.” He scoffed. “I’m going now I hope your shower makes you realize how stupid you have been lately.” He spoke before hanging up without letting you get a word in. Sighing you brought the phone down from your ear setting it down next to you. Your thoughts were jumbled and jumping around from one thing to another. You wished you weren’t so scared of confessing something to someone, especially if that someone was starting to become the reason why you kept waking up and getting out of bed every passing day. But you also knew you were hurting him more letting the days pass and keeping him in the dark. Needless to say your life had become a mess in the span of a few months and some days you found yourself wondering how you could return it. 

Jeonghan told me…

Your phone buzzed making you jump. You grabbed it quickly watching as Seokmin’s contact name stared at you brightly, along with his message making your heart race. You cursed at yourself for trusting that the snake would keep your secret sealed behind his thin lips. And maybe he had hired you out of spite but whatever it was you were already typing your overdue apology in hopes you could at least salvage the tiny piece of Seokmin’s heart that he had selfishly given to you. 

Congratulations baby, dinner on Friday to celebrate?

Your fingers stopped as you let out an embarrassing sigh of relief, silently apologizing to Jeonghan. Quickly you erased the few sentences you had managed to write out before typing out a reply. You weren’t sure what spirit had possessed you but, who's ever it was, gave you the confidence you needed to hit send, because you knew what you were about to do was going to possibly ruin whatever relationship you had with Seokmin or save it. But you were tired of walking on eggshells not only around him but also around Vernon. He needed to know and you needed to finally let go. 

I’ll cook, I want you to meet some people.

Vernon walked into the apartment with everything Seungkwan had sent him out to get before leaving for work that morning. The bags he had been carrying for blocks were cutting the circulation in his arms, his fingers burning sweetly from the plastic. How they hadn’t fallen dead on the sidewalk a couple of blocks back was a mystery to him, and in truth the pain didn’t bother him until now, while he toe-d off his shoes as fast as possible. He felt his arms start to give up so he dropped them, like he usually did and let out an enormous sigh of relief. The circulation coming back into his arms at a rapid rate. 

He stretched his hands out mumbling incoherently. Coming to a stop when he saw your distressed form leaning against the fake marble of the kitchen counter. Phone clutched tightly in your palm, breaking the circulation, much like the plastic bags had done to him. Before, he could stop myself, he ran over to you. Stumbling over his shoes. The groceries and the tingling feeling on his fingers, from the blood returning to them, long forgotten. All he could think about was you and what was going through your mind. 

Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face into your neck as he felt your body grow stiff against his. The pang hitting him like a wave of unwanted air giving his heart a run for its money. “Are you okay?” He whispered bringing you close, hoping his comfort would somehow bring you at ease. He was never really good at comfort. He had learned that early on in your relationship, but he always tried as best as he could. Affection had been his major weak point, but now that he had lost you it had become his strongest suit. 

“No Vernon, I’m not.” You swallowed the lump of anger that had been lodged into the back of your throat before gripping his arms with your hands and prying them off. Vernon was taken back, the void returning to his chest and you tried your best to shoulder past him. “You almost costed me my job today.” His arms fell at their sides, your words catching him off guard.

No matter how many arguments the two of you had had during your past relationship, he had never heard you use this before. The venom became permanent, interweaving itself with the strings of your vocal chords and for the first time he had realized that he had finally lost you. 

“Me?” He questioned, standing dumbfounded. A shaking finger coming to view pointing to his chest. “What do you mean I almost ruined your chances at you getting a job. I’ve only been home and at the grocery store?” 

Vernon ran a wary hand through his dark looks, the confusion written all over his face when you glanced at him and pushed past him a little too forcefully. He tried to recall anything he could’ve done for you to look at him in such an unpleasant way, but his mind came to a halt stopping in front of a white wall. All he could remember was trying his best to stay away from you and failing. 

Every night he sat in front of your bedroom door while you talked on the phone for hours. He missed the sound of your laugh. He knew it was never going to be directed towards him anymore, but he would never get tired of it. At least it was a distraction, as unpleasant as it may have been at times. His life was ruined and his search for cheap apartments big enough for himself was starting to become a bust. 

He wasn’t stupid. As much as you and Seungkwan had tried to mask your distaste for his return. He knew he wasn’t welcomed and he was made more aware of it now that he could feel your anger caging him in. 

“This Vernon!” You yelled as he came out of his daze. His eyes widened when he saw you unbutton the first few buttons of your blouse, the nude of your bra peeking out making him swallow thickly. “This is why I was almost not hired today.” You pointed at the faded hickeys he had left behind. A year ago he would’ve smirked while making a slick comment before attacking you. The giggle would fall out of your lips as he led you to the couch while he deepened the lovebites he had previously made. 

Now he stayed put, watching the angry tears fall from your eyes and instead of feeling sorry. He was now starting to shed his calm composure letting it get replaced by a year’s worth of anger. He let it consume him, because he had had enough. 

It wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that you and Seungkwan were faulting him for something that hadn’t been entirely his fault. 

“Did you get undressed in order to get the job? Were you really that desperate. Did he not like the fact that you were whoring yourself around when he saw another man’s mark on you?” He spat out, barely processing what he had said. His fist balling up at his sides while yours did the same thing. “I knew you were capable of things but this is a new low that I should’ve seen coming.” 

Vernon had never once said anything hurtful to you, he had given  silent treatments, left the house in fits of rage; but never anything hurtful. You were caught by surprise, your heart beating out of your chest angrily and tears flowed at a rapid rate. This was a new side of him and you supposed he was also seeing a new side of you. It made you wonder if you had truly known one another as well as you once prided yourself in. 

You forcefully threw down your stuff onto the coffee and took fast, long strides over to him. “Fuck you Vernon, I wish I had never met you.” You forced out jabbing your index finger into his chest as hard as you could, hoping you’d be able to hurt him even further like he had done to you. 

He stayed, not budging, looking down at you with an overwhelming amount of disgust. “You’ve ruined my life.” The whisper escaped your lungs before you could stop it, but the damage had already been done. The two of you had been stripped off of everything, left with nothing. Two once perfect colorful arrays of canvases now painted white. What more did you have to lose?

“And you’ve ruined mine.” He emphasized, making sure each word, each syllable was laced with the same amount of poison he was being consumed with. He wanted them to take a piece of your soul. The same way yours did with his.

It was the final blow he needed to deliver to finally be able to walk out of your life for good. To finally forget the way your presence had his heart doing somersaults. To finally realize he was and had never been yours to begin with. 

Vernon shook his head in disbelief blinking back the angry tears. He grabbed your wrist and slowly peeled your fingers away from his shirt he hadn’t noticed you were clinging onto. His body was shaking just like yours. Emotions he was now experiencing for the first time consuming him slowly. He pushed you away gently, a stark contrast from the hurtful words he had said earlier and quickly made his way to the front door. Hastily putting on his shoes, mumbling underneath his breath. He ignored the groceries again, and tripped over every miscellaneous item that was decorating the floor as he opened the front door. 

Déjà vu hit you like a tsunami, shaking arms wrapped around your torso, sobs falling out of your mouth as you watched him leave just like you had many times before. This time he didn’t love you enough to want to come back. 

When the world had once still revolved around you and Vernon, your fights would never last as long as this one had. It had lasted two days and six hours, but who’s counting? 

You were avoiding one another like the plague not wanting to admit fault. 

“Are you spaced out again?” Seokmin’s voice sounded through the speaker of your phone. You don’t know when the nightly facetime calls became routine, but they were the only thing you look forward to now. Especially after the nasty argument with Vernon two days and six hours ago. 

“Sorry Min.” You shake your head and turn to the side bringing your blanket up to your chin. “What were you saying again?” 

“I’m sorry we had to move dinner to tomorrow night, I forgot I had to babysit my nephew.” He pouted at the camera before turning his attention back to washing the dishes he had used for dinner. 

Since the two of you hadn’t been able to physically have dinner together to celebrate, you figured that having dinner with him through facetime was better than nothing. To keep him company of course and not because he filled the void you had been feeling for days on end. 

The entire time you were holed up in your room and witnessed how gentle he was when it came to his nephew. It made the butterflies in your stomach dance to the beat of their own drums. Once again you found yourself pushing the thought of Seokmin and children away. It was too soon. 

“Don’t apologize, I enjoyed watching you struggle with Minjae. Personally, baby, I’m a fan of when he calls you Min Min.” Seokmin laughed. His smile reached both ends of his face as he turned the faucet off. He dried his hands on a kitchen towel before grabbing his phone. “When I went to put him to bed he said you were pretty...and I mean he’s not wrong you’re gorgeous sweetheart.” He winked making the apples of your cheeks heat up with the light pink of baby flower petals.You watched as he shut off the lights and walked out of his kitchen, trudging silently through the hallway before reaching his room. 

“Since we’re alone now,” he started shutting the door to his room, “You want to tell me what’s been bothering you for the last few days?” He finished. The small complaint falling out of your lips as you hid underneath your blanket. It was amazing how in such a short amount of time Seokmin had been able to read you like a book from start to finish. 

It had taken Vernon a full year to be able to decipher the hidden meaning behind your words.

Vernon...you hated how much he was consuming your thoughts. Even when Seokmin was around. It felt like a curse with no cure. “Just got into a small argument with an old friend.” 

“Have you tried talking to them?” Seokmin walked around before placing his phone down and unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt. “You won’t be able to fix anything if the two of you haven’t talked.” 

“I can’t Seokmin, I said some hurtful things to him and honestly I shouldn’t have said them. I was angry over a situation that wasn’t entirely his fault.” You sighed, removing the blanket from your head and flopping down on your back. “If he didn’t hate me before he does now.” 

“I don’t know what happened with your friend, but I don’t think he hates you. Just try and talk to him and clear the air.” He nodded before laying down on his bed, grabbing the pillow and hugging it. “It doesn’t hurt to at least try.” 

You smiled and nodded. He looked breathtaking underneath the dim light of his room, “If you’re going to be right all the time, I think I might want a refund...again”

“Don’t say that baby...I’ll let you be right on odd days.” 

Saturday night came faster than you had anticipated and somehow you had managed to burn spaghetti. 

Your day had been awful and you were hoping that when nightfall came everything would’ve gotten better. Your wish had fallen on to deaf ears because you had burned spaghetti, Vernon was acting like a grade A asshole, and Seungkwan was ignoring you. 

When Seokmin had arrived. On time. He had found you scrambling in the kitchen trying to remake your famous (easy) pasta dish. Seungkwan and Vernon were arguing over the correct way to set a table...it was chaos.

 Neither of them were correct but you didn’t care enough to correct them. They weren’t talking to you either way. 

When you had managed to finally finish dinner. With the help of Seokmin. He had insisted after he saw how stressed out you looked, the four of you sat in complete silence. Seokmin at your side, holding your hand underneath the table, Vernon eyeing him down like he was his prey and Seungkwan mindlessly scrolled through his phone. The clinking of utensils and your heavy breathing was the only thing that was heard. 

You wanted to die. 

“Um...so I know Seungkwan, but I don’t know you. I’m Seokmin.” He nodded in Vernon’s direction before taking a bite of his pasta. You watched as Seungkwan locked his phone and put it down. His eyes traveled between the two male figures before they settled on yours and you watched as he slightly shook his head.

“I know who you are, you’re the one that she stays up talking to.” He signaled in your direction before setting down his fork and leaning into his chair, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m Hansol but you can call me Vernon.” 

“Cool...so Vernon, how do you know each other?” Seokmin let go of your hand. The warmth and ease you had felt disappearing as you saw the two of them eye each other. As far as you could tell Vernon wanted to eat Seokmin alive and Seokmin was simply driven by his curiosity. “Did you just move in?” 

Vernon laughed bitterly before pushing his half eaten plate away from him. “You haven’t told him?” He questioned. The amused evil glint adorning his soft eyes. A look you had never once seen him give anyone and now that it was directed towards you. You were terrified. 

“Hansol don’t!” Seungkwan warned. You felt Seokmin’s body stiffen next to you as he looked over at you, an eyebrow raised. “So we’re just going to sit here and pretend we’re one big happy family when we’re all miserable because of her.” Vernon spat out digging his burning gaze into yours. You jumped and looked over at Seokmin who had retreated into himself. His eyes were burning holes into the pasta in front of him. 

“Min I-I can ex-” 

“What does he mean, what is he talking about?” Seokmin interrupted and pushed his plate away from him. Your appetite was gone and you could only assume everyone else was feeling the same way. 

“Tell him. Why don’t you tell him how you were moaning my name a few days ago just like you had done for the past five years.” 

You panicked, your body shaking in intervals of five and you tried to look for anything to say but your lies had finally caught up to you. The only thing you could do was drown and keep drowning, just like you had been doing before Seokmin came into your life and pulled you out of the water. Now you were pushed into it again and this time you were positive no one was going to risk themselves to save you.“Seokmin w-wait please.” You threw your napkin on the table and stood up, the corners landing into the pasta sauce as you turned to face Seokmin. You extended your arm to grab his hand, only for him to pull it back, ”You were just toying with me.” The legs of the chair scraping against the hardwood floor made you jump. Your body going into survival mode. “I saw the marks on you but I just assumed I had accidentally gotten carried away.” 

“You fucked him too, wo-” 

“Vernon, shut up for once please.” You yelled. Your world came crashing down again just like it had on that winter night; in front of the infamous coffeeshop. Both times had been Vernon’s fault. 

“I-I can’t be here.” Seokmin whispered, running a bony hand through his perfectly styled hair, causing it to messily stick out in random places. He sighed before pushing his char in forcefully as he gathered the few things he had brought with. He stepped on the soles of his shoes, not caring about how uncomfortable he felt. The only thing that was running through his mind was how he needed to get out and far away from you as possible. 

“Why can’t you guys let me handle things at my own pace. I was gonna tell him this is why I invited him but I didn’t want him to find out like this.” You shouted, making Seungkwan and Vernon to look at you as if you were a deer and they were the headlights. You shook your head and stood up running past them and the kitchen towards the door that Seokmin had left wide open. Your vision had gone blurry and you opted out at putting on your shoes. It would be a waste of time and you needed to get to him before he left. You were tired of not fighting for what you wanted and you wanted Seokmin enough that it hurt. 

“M-Min please wait! Let me explain.” Seokmin stopped as he was halfway down the first flight of stairs. 

“I understood. I told you I would wait for you because I knew something had happened to you. Yet I never pushed you to tell me. I started to fall for you, only to find out that you didn’t care that you never cared. T-That there was someone else.”

“I-It’s not like that.” You ran down the flights of stairs, ignoring the small pebbles digging into the skin of your feet. “H-Hansol was my soulmate, bu-”

“Was?”

“Yes Seokmin he was my soulmate, please just give me a chance to explain everything.” You grabbed his hand and brought it up to your heart that was going a mile a minute. “We aren’t together and haven’t been together for a year...i-it’s just complicated.” You pleaded. 

“But you slept with him right after our date I’m guessing?” 

“I-I...a...Seokmin please just let me explain. I didn’t sleep with him. When you left he was here and we talked and then one thing led to another but I stopped him because of you. Because I had the most amazing ti-”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better because it doesn’t.” He rolled his eyes and pulled his hand back, stuffing both of them into the pockets of his coat. Goosebumps rose against your skin. You blamed the cool wind of the beginning autumn months but you were very well aware that it was because of the coldness behind Seokmin’s comforting eyes. “Do you still love him?” 

“M-Min I-I...um. I-” 

“God, I really don’t want to look at you right now, I w-wished I h-had never met you.” He whispered. 

Your knees gave up at the realization of his confession and you fell down onto the concrete step of the stairs. You were numbly looking at his worn out shoes as he stood there wordlessly, broken sounds leaving his perfect lips. A breeze blew and you shivered, “I-I’m sorry.” You whispered before he turned around and started down the rest of the flights of stairs leaving you behind. 

When Vernon left, you were heartbroken. 

When Seokmin left, you wanted to die. 

It’s unclear how you made it back into your apartment on the couch under a plethora of blankets, shivering, teeth clattering against one another. You weren’t sure how long you had been out in the cold waiting, hoping for Seokmin to come back and take you into his arms. To hold your shivering body close to his warm one, while whispering the three words you longed to hear most. 

I forgive you.  

That hadn’t been the case though. You sat out there waiting on the concrete steps as the bitter cold overtook your body, until you couldn’t feel your bones anymore. In the midst of your unwavering head, you had lost track of time. And now you are sitting on your couch, listening to soft shuffles of rushed feets and hushed arguments. Tears frozen onto the apples of your cheeks, staring at the blank wall that sat behind the television set. 

“Hey,” Seungkwan’s voice sounded distant as he tried grabbing your attention, shaking you gently. 

The inside of your head was a mess, the files of all your memories going up in flames. You wanted out of your head, to look at Seungkwan’s face morphed with concern. You wanted to cry into his arms just like you had done many times before but you were done. You had let other people deal with your problems for you instead of facing them head on. So, you ignored him and his soft voice to stare at the blank wall. At least the wall wouldn’t be used by you. 

“I ran you a bath, come on.” He placed his palm on your back rubbing it up and down in a soothing manner. You cringed, shrugging his touch away and wrapped the blankets around yourself tighter, retrieving into yourself. “You’re going to freeze to dea-”

“I deserve it.” You mumbled. A tear trickled down your cheek and you looked down at your shivering hands. He was right, the color from your skin had been drained due to the bone chilling cold from the start of the winter months. But you liked wallowing in the numbness, it served as a reminder of how much you truly fucked up. 

“You don’t, now come on before you force me to carry you, you know how weak my back has been lately and you would be doing me a great disservice if I have to carry you all the way to the bathroom.” He said pointedly and tugged on your hands as he stood up taking you along with him. The blankets fell from your shoulders, taking residency on the couch. Seungkwan walked the two of you away from the couch, one of his hands on your back the other holding your arm tightly and tentatively. Almost as if he was afraid that you’ll escape and habituate yourself on the couch again. Your point of focus from the wall was no more, now you were staring around the silent apartment. Your eyes landed on the dinner table, where everything had been left untouched, like nothing had happened. And you wondered if ten minutes had gone by instead of an hour, just like you had presumed. 

The sound of rushing water brought you back to your senses as you and Seungkwan entered the bathroom. The lights were dimmed and he had set up the stress relieving candles the two of you had bought on a whim one Sunday afternoon. It was moments like these when you realized you didn’t deserve to have a friend like Seungkwan. A friend would drop everything and be at your side in seconds at the mumble of the first syllable of his name. Once again you were reminded how much better he deserved. 

“I-I’m sorry.” You whispered watching him through the fogged out mirror. His long fingers toying with the tiny zipper of your dress, unzipping it slowly, careful not to place his cold palms against your already freezing skin. In a different scenario you would’ve made a sexual innuendo about him seeing you naked, even though he had many times. The two of you lived together and the amount of times either of you had accidentally sleepily walked in on each other either changing or showering was almost laughable. At some point it had become so natural that neither of you strayed away from uninterested pairs of eyes. 

“For what?” He raised a brow at you through the mirror. Your dress had now fallen onto the floor leaving you in your matching bra and underwear set. Your arms wrapped tightly around your stomach as you turned around to look at him. 

“E-Everything, I’m the w-worst person ever and here you are t-treating me like a delicate flower. I-I don’t deserve you or Vernon or S-Seokmin.” You sniffed blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. It was a miracle that you hadn’t ran out of tears considering how much you cried daily. At least three times a week. 

Seungkwan let out a laugh and hugged you tightly, his hands brushing the hair away from your face, “You aren’t the worst person ever, right now you might not be your own favorite person or the favorite person of a certain individual.” He pulled back and flicked your forehead gently making you pout, the tears still free falling down your cheeks, his thumbs brushing them away. “I can name a few others that are way worse than you, now get in the bath before I seriously drown you.” Seungkwan treated placing a soft kiss against your forehead. “Sometimes I wish I could take away yours and Vernon’s pain.” 

“Then you’d be weighted down even more by pain that doesn’t belong to you.”

“If it gets the two of you smiling again, I’d take the risk any day.”  

Seungkwan always keeps true to his word.

While he was aggressively washing your hair, he almost did try to drown you and you had never been more scared for your life. 

“This is the last time I let you take care of me.” You pouted bringing your knees up to your naked chest, sending him an almost threatening glare. The tears had stopped along with your shivering, but now you could finally feel the emptiness inside of you. 

 “That’s gonna be hard, I like taking care of you. It’s like my hobby.” He flashed you a smile before turning his attention back to his almost empty wine glass. You sighed, placing your cheek against your knees watching as he poured himself another generous amount of the overly expensive wine you had bought solely for that night. 

“That’s the problem, you shouldn’t like to take care of me, you should’ve kicked me out after my third month here.” You grabbed the bottle from his hand and took a sip from it, cringing at the taste as it traveled down your throat burning slightly. For it to be so expensive you were expecting it to be crafted using grapes sent down from the heavens, but the wine from your corner store was a lot better. Maybe this is where you had gone from in the first place. You had tried to be something you weren’t for Seokmin. Tried to put up a front until you were ready to show him the real you. A foolproof plan that ended up backfiring in the end. You should’ve known. 

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Seungkwan took the bottle from your hand and placed it on the floor. He turned to look at you tugging his knees underneath him and leaned an elbow against the edge of the bathtub. 

“Yeah, it was New Year’s and you were spending it with Hansol’s family because you and your family weren’t on best terms.” You looked away from his glossy eyes and down at the water surrounding you. You dipped a pruned finger into the water creating a small ripple in the once warm, now lukewarm water. 

“Do you remember what you said to me that night before the clock struck twelve.” 

You swished your finger around in the water, watching the ripples grow bigger and bigger, your face breaking into a small smile. The first one you had let decorate your face since everything happened. “I said that whenever I felt down I would always think of you because every time I saw you around campus you always had a smile plastered on your face and your head held high.” You said placing your palm against the water surface and then pushing against it watching as the water swallowed your head. 

“Do you know how much your words meant to me?” He put down his glass on the edge of the bathtub, “I was going through the worst period of time in my life, my relationship with my family was strained, I was failing my classes and the person I was in love with was getting married but your words helped me get through that time in my life. And that’s why I choose to be there for you always...because you were there for me.” 

“Seungkwan I-.” He held his hand up, stopping you from speaking a distant smile plastered on his face as he grabbed the towel next to him and dipped his hand into the bathtub unclogging the drain, creating a tiny whirlpool. 

“I know you’re going to tell me that you were drunk and that your words didn’t deserve to have such an impact on me, and that you still don’t deserve my help, but I don’t want to hear it.” He tapped your shoulder signaling for you to stand, in which you obeyed. You watched silently as he wrapped your towel around you tightly, tiny water droplets chasing down your bare arms and legs. “No matter what happens to you, you will always be able to count on me no matter how annoying I might find you sometimes. I will always be there for you, is that clear?” He finished sternly before wrapping his arms around you, hugging you not carrying that you were getting his only designer shirt wet. 

“Crystal.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You beamed up at Seungkwan as he tugged you into bed after helping you dry your hair for an hour. If it were up to you, you would’ve gone to sleep right after you changed into your pajamas, but Seungkwan insisted with a nagging finger on drying your hair because “You should never go to sleep with your hair wet unless you want to wake up sick.” Or so he claimed. 

“Am I going to have to write a dissertation in order to answer it?” He sat down on the edge of his bed, tugging a leg underneath him, resting his elbow against his thigh, his chin the palm of his hand. 

“Nope but you might get mad at me for asking it.” You grinned, positioning your body to the side in a fetal position. Seungkwan rolled his eyes, mumbling how all his hard work in tugging you in had gone to waste and giving you the go head with a small nod of his head. 

“Where’s Vernon?” 

Seungkwan rolled his eyes before leaning over to turn your light off. “I don’t know. After he brought you inside he ran out saying he had somewhere to be.” He turned the switch leaving the two of you in darkness and silence. “Why do you ask?” 

“I want to beat him up for being a jerk.”

“I’ll film it.” 

The brightness of the morning sun made you stir in your sleep, making you wish you had listened to Seungkwan when he had suggested that you buy black out curtains, instead of the sheer ones you bought. With a heavy sigh you felt around your bed looking for your phone knowing very well you hadn’t plugged it in to charge. You wanted the battery to drain out that way you wouldn’t anxiously be waiting for a phone call or text that was never going to come. 

Frustrated due to the realization you continued your search, digging your palm into your sheets letting them melt between your fingers, wishing the other side of your bed wasn’t cold and empty. But the one person you wanted to be next to you didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. 

“Why are you pulling on my hair?” 

Your hand came back to you faster than a lightning bolt and you sat up, eyes wide as saucers as you looked down at the last person you were expecting. “Why are you here?” You brought the sheets up to your shirts, covering your arms that were adorned with the thin strap of the tank top you had used to sleep. 

Vernon buried his face in your sheets, giving himself a moment to recover from being woken up in such an unpleasant way. He had arrived home two hours ago, took his shoes off in a hurry and rushed to your room. He was met with your sleeping form. Limbs splayed out in all directions, your sheets sliding off your body taking up residency on your bedroom floor.

He smiled feeling the nostalgia take over his body like a poisonous drink. He longed to wake up next to you, with the sheets missing and your arm draped his face, while silent snores fell out of your mouth as you stayed sleeping without a care in the world. He looked forward to those mornings. Especially when he was losing you because it was the only time that felt like nothing was happening. The only time he wouldn’t have to avoid looking at you for fear of breaking down whenever he saw the hurt in your eyes. And as you had slept after the shit show that had happened earlier that night, albeit all his fault. He found himself longing for those few seconds of silence as he watched you sleep. 

So, he moved through your room with caution, dodging the specs of light coming in through your window. He picked up your from the floor and carefully placed them on top of you again before sitting down on the floor. His elbow on your bed, chin resting on the palm of your hand and he watched you sleep. The tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, this would be the last time he would be seeing you. At least for a while. He wanted to take everything in, engrave the image of your sleeping face in his mind so he wouldn’t forget about it for a while. 

Unaware he had fallen asleep, and now here he was. His heart thumping out of his chest feeling your eyes dig themselves into the side of his head. He could only be honest, his intentions weren’t malicious to begin with, and lying to you always tore him apart. “I came to say goodbye.” He whispered, raising his head. He brought his hands up to his eyes and diligently rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His vision grew spotty from how hard he had rubbed them. 

“Oh...where are you going?” You sat up, resting your back against the headboard. It surprised you how soft your voice sounded as it left your mouth and you could tell it had surprised him too. You like him were expecting the coldness, but instead both of your ears were met with warmth. 

“I’m moving back into my parents house, until I find my own place. I was selfish in coming here in the first place. I thought that now because I was alone again we could be together again.” He nodded, focusing on your closet door avoiding your face as the words rushed out of his mouth. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore...at least for a while.” He tore his gaze away from the door and turned to his you. “I’m sorry for everything.” 

A veil of silence swallowed your waking bodies, as the rising sun finished its journey and stayed put. The golden hues of the rays illuminated Vernon’s side profile, bringing out the tiny freckles underneath his eyes. They were bloodshot, you could tell he hadn’t slept despite him just waking up, making you feel a little guilty. If you hadn’t prolonged this situation as much as you did then maybe things would’ve been different last night and this morning. Maybe you’d be waking up to Seokmin’s soft touches instead of Vernon’s broken and guilt ridden stare. 

“I wanted you here Vernon.” You whispered, wrapping your arms around your legs, resting your chin on top of your knees. “We’re equally at fault, though you had been acting like an asshole and I’m still a little upset with you. It’s not all your fault.” You nodded, skimming your hand down your covered legs and placed it on top of his. 

Vernon sighed removing his hand from underneath yours, your touch ignited something inside of him. Something he needed to keep at bay in order to let you go once and for all. “I talked to him last night.” He leaned back on his arms, his fingers digging into the fuzziness of your white carpet. He looked at you through his bangs, smiling at the confusion written all over your sleepy face. “Dokyeom, he’s funny.” 

The sound of his name sounded foreign coming out of Vernon’s mouth. You almost convinced yourself you had still been dreaming if it wasn’t for the clattering pans in the kitchen, obviously Seungkwan’s doing. “You’re lying to me again.” 

“I only lied to you once and I regret it every waking moment I see you, but this time I’m not.” He said crossing his jean clad legs underneath him, “I followed him after I brought you back inside, he punched me.” He laughed and pointed to the side of his jaw that had started to form a light bruise, making your brows furrow in concern. “It’s not as bad as it looks, my jaw is still intact, plus I deserved it.” 

“You did. If he hadn’t done I would’ve.”

“Yeah, and it would’ve hurt more coming from you.” He rolled his eyes brushing off the subject with a swipe of his hand against the air, “I apologized to him and he taught me how to make a vase...did you know he’s part owner of a pottery studio?” 

You laughed at the splendor in Vernon’s voice. The awkward air that had been crushing both pairs of lungs subsided, “I did he promised he’d take me one day but I guess it won’t happen now.” You shrugged, a side smile forming against your lips. “I’m a little jealous you got to live out my fantasy.” 

“Yeah his hands are big and muscular and soft, I felt safe in his arms as he taught me how to form the shape.” Vernon joked. You rolled your eyes and grabbed your pillow before hitting him with it, making him groan. “That hurt.” 

“Good, I was hoping it did.” 

“You’re just jealous that he and I share a birthday.” 

“No you don’t.” You pouted and laid down again crossing your arms in front of you like a child. The guilt consumed you once again but this time because you had been so focused with your problems that you hadn’t taken the chance to actually get to know Seokmin. You hadn’t actually tried to get to know him better and you couldn’t blame him for what he had told you last night. If you were in his shoes, you would also regret ever meeting you. 

“What else did he say?” You voiced, untangling your arms and turning your body to face Vernon’s sitting form. He smiled before standing up and brushing the invisible lint balls from his jeans. He extended his hand for your to take, earning a curious stare from you. 

“He wants to see you but first you have to eat breakfast.” 

After a very uneventful breakfast that consisted of Seungkwan’s nagging (out of love) and leftovers. The three of you helped Vernon carry his stuff out to his car. It was a bittersweet feeling, to see the same scenario play out the same way it did almost over a year ago. This time neither of you were hurting and longing for one another. 

“Get in.” Vernon shouted as he closed the trunk of his car, dusting his hands in front of him. He pointed to the passenger seat door, a wide smile on his face as he rounded the corner and opened the door. “I have to take you somewhere.” 

“W-What, but I-I haven’t showered and I’m still in my pajamas.” You looked between Vernon who was holding open the door and Seungkwan who had started looking around, whistling and you realized that whatever Vernon was planning, Seungkwan had been in on it too. 

“You look fine, now get in before I get punched again.”

“Kwanie help me please.” You pleaded grabbing onto the sleeves of his coat. Not knowing what was happening or what was going to happen only added to the stress of last night. 

“I think I left the stove on, I’m going to go save our apartment from burning down.” He winked peeling your fingers from the sleeves of his coat and shoved you towards the car. “Have fun, don’t stay out too late, you still have to clean your room.” He shouted as he turned around and started jogging towards the entrance of the building. 

���I have no choice do I?” You sighed looking at Vernon’s scheming face. He shook his head and signaled you to hurry up with the sudden movement of his hand. “Fine, if I end up dead though I’m coming back to haunt you and Seokmin’s asses.” You mumbled in annoyance, the skin of your legs gaining bumps as a cold breeze blew. 

Vernon waited, holding the door to his car open for you as you quickly got into the passenger seat of his car. While you got in quickly desperately seeking some kind of warmth. “Are you ready?” He closed the door gently once he was sure you were fully inside and buckled up, leaning his elbows against the open window. 

“To be kidnapped, nope. But I have no choice.” 

Vernon stopped his car in front of an unnamed warehouse, unlocked the doors and basically shooed you out of it, “The side door is unlocked.” He said, pointing to an inconspicuous grey door before speeding off and leaving you alone, your heart against your throat. 

You stood there in the middle of the parking lot, the bitter cold wrapping around you like a frozen blanket. And for once in your life you wished you had new friends, preferably ones that wouldn’t leave you in the middle of nowhere, in your pajamas and without a phone. You realized you had left it midway through your silent journey in Vernon’s old car. You had reached over for the volume knob turning it all the way down. The song that belonged to one of the mixtapes he had once made disappeared from his failing speakers.  He had laughed when you told him, “You won’t need it anyway.” He reassured, pressing his foot on the gas as the light turned to an obnoxious yellow. 

Now you were left stranded, cold and fearing for your life, refusing to move from your spot, eyeing the grey door in suspicion and fear. “Come in before you die.” You jumped as the grey door slammed open, revealing a boy with reddish hair and glasses perched on top of his nose, wearing grey paint splattered overalls. You contemplated ignoring him at first but then another cold breeze blew, followed by a few snowflakes and you knew you had no choice, but to follow the boys commands. 

“Who are you?” You questioned as you jogged towards him and then past him, your body engulfed with the warmth of the warehouse, and you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Minghao, I’m one of the owners of this place.” He said after closing the door behind him making you jump slightly at the sound of metal hitting metal. “You know we’re in the middle of winter, not summer.” He said pointedly, eyeing you down. And you felt stupid although your attire hadn’t been your doing. If it had been entirely up to you, you wouldn’t be wearing sleep shorts, a tank top, a thin sweater and soping house slippers. 

“Yeah, it’s a long story.” 

“And I’m sure I’ll hear it one day but your lover boy is waiting behind the curtains.” Minghao smiled and wrapped a black winter coat around your shoulders, rubbing your arms gently before pulling away. “He hasn’t slept, so please tell him too once you finish confessing your love to one another or whatever people do after a fight.” He shoved you lightly towards the creme curtains that separated what seemed like an art room from whatever room was on the other side. 

“Also if you need to do like gross couple stuff, can you do it in his room and not the living room.” He stated before grabbing a paint brush and sitting in front of a half painted canvas. Nothing had taken shape yet and you wondered if that was his intention or if he was stuck and just decided to paint whatever came to his mind. Whatever the reason was, you’d have to wait because the creme colored curtain was whispering your name at a decibel only you could hear begging you to reveal what was on the other side. So, you did, pulling it back harder than you had intended, your breath catching itself in the back of your throat. 

Your eyes traveled around what seemed to be a living room. The navy blue couch had been pushed to the far end of the room, the back resting against the brick wall. A whole wall filled with all the books you could imagine and you found yourself laughably fighting the urge to run your finger tips against all their spines. There was a kitchen, though it looked more like it had never been used, the overflowing sink filled with dishes told you otherwise. And finally sitting in the middle, on a paint splattered dining room table was Seokmin, his bright and pleading eyes taking your attention away from the bags that laid underneath them. A two tier crooked cake sitting in front of him, with the words “I’m sorry,” written in purple icing. 

“Seokmin I-” You started but the words escaped your mouth as your feet mindlessly made your way towards him. For a split second you stood in front of him as he looked up at you, his hands shaking on his lap, and you threw yourself at him, hugging him tightly as you buried your face into his neck taking in his scent. Fearing that this might be the last time you would be smelling it, as it almost was. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you sooner, but I got scared. I didn’t want you to think of me as different, as impure, used, b-broken. I-I don’t know.” Your words rushed out almost creating an incoherent sentence against his soft skin. You felt him suck in a breath before wrapping his arms around you tightly, his palms running down your back soothingly. 

“I’m sorry too I wasn’t completely honest with you either. I know how you felt, it wasn’t easy for me when I first lost the person I loved and I wasn’t expecting to find you so soon that day either at the field.” He whispered, kissing your temple gently before pulling back and brushing the loose strands of hair away from your face. “I told you that I’d wait for you but I think I was telling myself that too.” 

“Wait you mean...what...when?” You searched his face for any indication of incenserity but all you found was warmth, longing and love. 

“Around spring of last year, we were by the cherry blossoms when it happened.” He nodded and you felt the sting of colorful swirls erupt inside of you. “They left me that day and I haven’t seen them since.” He finished cradling your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with so much intensity you were sure you would melt. 

“That’s when it happened to Vernon and I.” You placed a palm against your forehead, your blowing out of their sockets because for the first time since that day everything had started to fall into place. 

“He told me last night, we also share a birthday which is crazy.” He said matter of factly, causing a small laugh to escape your lips, “do you think we can maybe start over?” He pouted, brushing the stray tears that had fallen from the corner of your eyes way.

“I’d love nothing more Seokmin.” You whispered and closed the tiny gap between the two of you finally connecting your lips with his, the butterflies erupting in the pits of your stomach. Behind your closed eyelids you could see the colorful burst of emotions harbored deep inside you, turning different shades of blue, purple and pink as the kiss deepened. It was something you had never witnessed before and to say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. You felt on cloud nine and you didn’t want it to stop, but the air was running out of your lungs the quicker the kiss got and you could tell Seokmin was feeling the same way as his chest started heaving underneath your palms, so you pulled back, your pants matching up with his. 

For the first time since you met him, your world around you seemed to intensify. Everything was brighter, glowing with a fierceness you had never once experienced. The two of you stayed silent staring into each other’s eyes, your heart hammering against your chest as you noticed the subtle specs of gold that were mixed deep within his dark eyes. You didn’t want to stop looking at them, not when you felt his hand cup your chin to pull you back in for another kiss. 

“Do you feel it too?” You whispered, your lips hovering over his threatening to close the gap again. 

“Feel what?” He teased, rubbing his nose against yours, heating up the blood in your body. And you prayed he wouldn’t see the slight sheen of sweat that had started to form against your hairline. 

“Like you’re home?” 

“Yes” The simple three letter word, sent you into a frenzy and you once again kissed him. This time with more fever than the last, because in Seokmin’s arms you finally felt like you could fall.

[kim-poce]

4. Witches Are Meant To Burn: Sculpted

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

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The trip was the usual, train for the first part, carriage for the second, and walking for the last, the terrain was often steep. It normally would be just plain tiring. It was just plain tiring until we got close to the library, then it was tiring and so hot. I’ll need to decrease the number of coats in my wardrobe while I’m here. Everyone was really excited the whole time, I was more exhausted than anything. I didn’t have time to rest, though, soon I was seated at the big circular table in this overly bright room made yesterday just so this meeting could be held.

Oh right! I should introduce myself, it’s late I know but I’m not used to stepping out of my field, and in my field, everyone (to whom I talk) already knows me. I’m Professor Ernestine Ruos-Aliene de Patry, an etymologist as you must have guessed. Well, I study several fields but whenever I have to keep it short I boil it down to etymology.

I work mostly at Jitarin Academy, however, I don't work for Jitarin Academy, it’s more like, they help me get resources for projects and I earn them renown, this relationship had been working for several years now, and after I got into the group of people that chose who will work on what the academy began to accept any request of mine.

The meeting was going on as lively as usual,  I tried to ignore the slight nausea I was feeling for about half an hour already. Maybe I shouldn’t have joined Tina on her unhealthy meals earlier today. I hope Hector has medicine on him because the closest apothecary is over 500 kilometers on foot plus thirty minutes on horse from here and none of my students would like to go there now.

On the bright side, The Podium Library was just two kilometers away. Getting to the library will be a pain, though. One thing that I learned from studying history is how much the ancient people on this continent loved caves. They aren’t good economically speaking, it’s not every cave that has enough tourist value to attract that many people, they do not help merchants and business between different places, but caves are natural and (sometimes) habitable, many villages were built around some agglomeration of small caves, and only when these were all occupied that they would go to build buildings. There are many theories of why. I myself wrote a couple of books on how the demonization of the new and the changes caused the fear of the effect of the hands of god had on the hands of fate were related to so many caves being used as the starting point of most cities, but what is relevant now is that, as expected of someplace from the Fog Age, the Podium Library was underground.

“Is the ground really stable?” Professor Viane Ji-Dober asked, if someone had to, the library had been evacuated just an hour ago due to the risk of a cave-in, not that something had happened, not knowing if something will happen was the issue. “We are talking about dozens of academics here, so we must be sure if it’s safe or not so we can get the Acceptance Of Risk papers ready.”

“Although the entrance broke down, the ground and structure seem fine,” Markus Virtus —Portia’s representative— said while tapping his fingers on his left hand.

“We need more than seems fine,” Professor Gione Petar said, “Will you take responsibility if the centuries-old archives are damaged? Do you have any idea how important this place is?”

“I know how much-”

“Oh no, you do not.”

“Professor Gione, that’s enough,” I said. “We don’t need to talk about how important is to be sure the library is safe, we obviously needed to be sure before letting everyone in, —” I glared at him, the very one who put his students in the library before knowing it was safe “—What we need to talk about is why it has been two days and a proper team wasn’t called yet.”

“You get here late and want to complain about the decision we made in your absence? You don’t have the right to complain!” Professor Jayon Bullar snapped.

“I have if you are being an idiot!”

“Idiot? You are suggesting we send a group of brute people who know nothing about what they are putting their hand on down there because of what? Because you are scared of a possible cave-in? It survived centuries! Why would it break now?”

“I swear for the hands of god that if you truly think that’s how-”

“Can we… uh… calm down?” Markus tried, “If one of you goes with the team it’ll be fine, right? Any… volunteer?”

I glanced around at the mostly old and out-of-shape people that formed that group, none of which are fit to go with the team down the library. No one volunteered, of course, and sending a student was out of question (unless you are Gione Petar, but he doesn’t count). Well, we’ll be here for a long time, won’t we?

“Why are you so grumpy?” Lucas asked after I told them how the meeting went. “You’ll get to see the library before them! That’s luck!”

“Yeah, join our risk measuring team down to a maybe-instable-maybe-not ancient cave is the best definition of lucky!” I said, rolling my eyes. “Did I tell you they decided on the shorter stick?”

“yes you t-”

“Who makes this kind of decision on the shorter stick?!”

“Someone who spent years studying the saying ‘witches are meant to burn’ is asking why they let this important decision up to luck?” Tina asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Fair.”

“When are you going?” June asked.

“Tomorrow morning, after eating some proper food, and resting a bit,” I answered, Hector had the medicine, all I needed now was to join June for meals instead of Tina.

“Time for them to get the Acceptance Of Risk form ready and for the team to arrive,” Sandra commented.

“Yeah, if they had it ready they would try sending me down there today.”

“Why is everyone here an egg?” Tina asked.

“Why do you call people eggs?” Sandra asked. Wrong question.

“Don’t ask.” Me, June, and Luca said at the same time. “Tina, no.”

Tina obviously ignored us. “So, do you know about the primordial soup…”

I sighed. This, too, would take a while.

Soon (or kind of) it was morning, the night was hot, and no one told me this place would be so hot. But apart from this, it was a good night of sleep. We had slept in a tent about one kilometer away from the entrance of the library. The terrain was mostly rocks, steep rocks, but luckily we had found enough plain areas to camp on, the groups did have to be somewhat far away from each other, though. If the cave is safe we’ll certainly move into the library. I know I’ll.

I was nervous, but it wasn’t my first rodeo. We had all the equipment to make it as safe as possible, and I had a whole team who actually knew what they were doing with me. So I took a deep breath and started.

The cave was pretty, I'll give it that. The entrance was small and hard to go by, the first part didn’t seem to have changed much, if at all, from its natural formation. The team was really patient in helping me down on the harder and narrower parts, none of them let it out that it was annoying to have someone slowing them down.

As soon as we got deeper inside the walls changed. The dark reddish walls were more and more gray, and smother. It continued to the point the ground became totally plain and the wall formed a perfect semicircle over our head. I hadn’t arrived at the library yet, but I knew it was from the last part of the Fog Age, near the end. You can tell by the changes on the walls, you see, ancient people wouldn’t change it like this. They wouldn’t mold the place in fear of the disasters it would bring.

“It probably had an actual entrance,” I commented. “Leading out, the path we came from isn’t the same they used to take back then.”

“I hope you are not planning on breaking the walls or something,” the team leader, Maliane, said, showing how much she trusts us.

“I can’t say we don’t want to, but we won’t actually do something this stupid.”

Maliane nodded, but it was clear that she didn’t believe me.

“You’ve meet Gione, right? Short, thin, angry.” I asked.

“... yes.”

Yeah. She has a reason not to trust us.

“This is the entrance,” the young woman leading us said, gesturing to a cube hole in the walls, each side had two meters. If one didn’t look closely one would think it’s just a cube carved into the cave wall.

The entrance was hidden, we had to walk into this dark cube to access this, also dark, narrow pathway. Twenty meters in, and going right was the actual library’s entrance. We lit the place up, but our flashlights weren’t enough to show everything so the team started attaching lights on the floor.

Two bronze doors were fallen down, five meters tall and about half of it wide. Looking closely it was ten centimeters thick. It was hard to tell just yet if this was for aesthetic purposes or if they wanted this library to be out of reach this much. As the place became brighter, the carving on the doors was more visible, the details were shaped like processed jewels, just like Gione’s students had told. I would take a closer look later, but at that moment there was something more important than the drawing on a door.

I glanced at the now partially lighted-up library. It was… amazing. There were so many books, I know it’s a library, but it’s from Fog Age. We know barely a thing about that time and it’s like life handed down this much data as a gift. The bookshelves also drew my attention, they haven’t been built, they were sculpted. Everything I could see was connected, it was as if that place was never a natural cave, maybe this whole large library was sculpted.

“We’ll start,” the team leader said. I didn’t really care much about how they were going to check the library. I knew part of the team was outside and I knew everyone was carrying tools, but my only role in there was to let them know if they were damaging some ancient thing they shouldn’t touch, so I could take my time to look around without a problem.

I thought I could take my time to look around without a problem. I realized I was wrong the second I stepped into the library.