#I did try bloom into you and ended up reading the entire thing but I didn't like it very much either....

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

whats up w these high school romances and trying to speedrun the shit out of initial set up for the story..

it has happened nearly every time now

[gogogodzilla]

day 31, sex pollen

peeta mellark x reader warnings: nsfw 18+, dubcon, unprotected sex, fuck or die, semi-public sex, slight dirty talk, reader gets sad at the end, multiple orgasms, dedicated to @omgbrcat hope you enjoy it bestie kinktober ☠︎︎ main masterlist ☠︎︎ read on ao3

You didn’t think you’d ever run so fast and wildly in your life. Well, except for last year when you were fighting for your life and running away from everything that was trying to kill you. 

Peeta was a few steps behind you, slower and stumbling a bit due to his prosthetic leg. You threw a glance over your shoulder every few seconds, just to make sure he was still there with you. 

The various leaves and foliage of the jungle hit you as you ran. You hardly even notice as the foliage shifts from a  normal lush green to unnatural shades of pinks, purples, and blues. You did notice, however, when one of the plants shoots a dusty substance directly in your face as you run past it. 

You lost your footing as you attempted to wipe the dust off your face. Peeta came up beside you, arms outstretched and ready to pick you up. 

“Don’t!” you shouted as you slowly stood, slightly relieved that your face didn’t immediately burn off. “I don’t want it to affect you, whatever it is.”

Your ears strained as you tried to discern if the mutts were still on your tail. 

“Do you hear them?” Peeta questioned, echoing your thoughts. “Y’know since you have a Capitol-engineered ear and all.”  

You huffed out a laugh as you listened. You couldn’t hear the familiar rustle of leaves, and you relaxed slightly. You knew never to get too comfortable in the arena, but your lungs were burning and you needed to get this stuff off your face. 

“Do you still have the spile?” you asked, attempting to avoid the way your body felt like it was on fire and your heart was pounding in your chest. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, as he began to hammer it into the trunk of a nearby tree. You prayed that the trees wouldn’t be as hazardous as whatever was covering your face. You watched as he stuck a finger under the liquid flowing out of the spile, checking to make sure it was safe. 

He wrapped his hand around your elbow and it felt like fire bloomed under his touch. He was gentle as always as he guided your face under the water. You dragged your hands over your face as you washed off the dusty substance that had covered it. You attempted to rid yourself of the inferno burning under your skin. 

Your cheeks flushed as you pulled away from the stream of water. Peeta’s touch was fleeting but your entire body ached for him. It was a strange feeling, unlike anything you’d ever felt before. 

Your heartbeat pounded in your chest with every shaky breath you took. You hunched over, attempting to calm yourself. A thin sheen of sweat begins to cover your skin, and your eyebrows furrowed in something akin to pain. 

You heard Peeta call your name, but the only thing you could get out was a whimper. He was on you within seconds, gripping your shoulders and shaking you slightly. You scrambled out of his touch, thinking clearly enough to know that you needed to get away from him. 

“What’s wrong?” he questioned, voice desperate and eyes frantically searching over your form. You hurriedly crawled away from him. 

You shook your head, as you pressed your back against a tree. “I— I don’t know. I feel hot,” you breathed, conflicted between clenching your thighs together and spreading them for him. 

 Peeta kneeled in front of you, eyes soft, “How can I help?” 

You remembered before you’d entered your first Games together how he didn’t want the Game to change him. You were thankful that he was still the same sweet boy you entered the arena with. He was different in some ways, of course. No one left the arena unscathed, but who he was at his core was unwavering. 

Your vision was becoming hazy, and a dull ache where you’d never felt it before emerged. You let out a low groan as the heat blistering down to your bones becomes almost unbearable.

Peeta crawled between your legs and cupped your face. You hissed at his touch, leaning into him. You gripped onto his sides, nails digging into the soft flesh through his suit. His touch felt heavenly against your skin, a ravenous hunger for more filled you to the very brim.

“Touch me,” you whimpered out, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. “Please, Peeta.”

He swiped a thumb across your cheek, and your grip on his tightened. You tugged him closer, your limbs seeming to move on their own. You made a small, strangled sound in the back of your throat. 

Peeta’s lips were hesitant against yours as he kissed you. He was always so gentle with you, never wanting to cross a line. You moaned against him, and swiped your tongue across his bottom lip, desperate to taste him. 

You wrapped your arms around his back and clawed at the zipper to his suit, tugging it down as much as you could. He sucked in a breath as you yanked his suit off of his shoulders, practically manhandling him. You were giving the Capitol exactly what they wanted, but you didn’t care. 

The ache deep between your legs was growing with every moment, and your body temperature rose along with it. Your kisses increased in desperation until you were pleading against Peeta’s lips and writhing against him. 

“It’s okay,” Peeta soothed, reaching behind you to unzip your suit. “I’ll help, it’s okay.” 

You hurriedly peeled your suit off your shoulders, letting out a sigh as Peeta’s fingers trailed over the newly exposed skin. Your cheeks flushed as he leaned down to press open-mouthed kisses against the column of your neck and your chest. 

You ran your hands over the smooth expanse of his chest, the feeling doing little to quell the electricity crackling under your skin. His tongue circled your nipple, eliciting a breathy whine from you. 

You raked your hands through the hair at the nape of his tugged and tugged on the strands. A groan vibrated in his throat, and his hands splayed against your ribcage. 

“Peeta,” you whined as he kneaded your other breast and you clenched your thighs around him. 

You couldn’t stand not having him for a second longer and you hooked your arms under his, gripping him tightly as you rolled to the side. You landed on top of him, straddling him. You panted as you finally got a good look at him. His eyes were half-lidded and he was flushed and breathing heavily. His pupils were blown wide as he looked up at you. 

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips, “Is it getting to you, too?” 

He nodded, attempting to steady his breathing. You stood and shimmied out of your suit, tossing it to the side. You leaned down to hook your fingers into the waistband of Peeta’s suit and looked up at him through your lashes. The quick dip of his head was all you needed, and you were practically ripping his suit off of him. It wasn’t the first time you’d taken off Peeta’s pants, but you flushed all the same. You were too focused on saving his life last time to worry about being embarrassed. 

You were back on him faster than your hazy mind could process, your hips moving on their own accord as you ground against his thigh. His length pressed against your belly, warm and unbelievably hard, as you dragged your hips against him. 

You reached down and stroked him in time with each rut of your hips. He let out a mix between a whimper and a sigh as you did. Your movements quickened, and you buried your face in the crook of Peeta’s neck. With each twist of your wrist around his cock, he was letting out noises that had heat pooling in your belly. His tip was leaking, and you loved the sound he made when you ran your thumb over it. 

Peeta’s fingertips dug into the plush of your hips so hard you didn’t doubt that he’d leave bruises. The animalistic part of you that had taken control wanted him to mark you in every way possible. Your slick had begun to cover Peeta’s thigh, allowing you to easily grind against him.

Your strokes became more erratic as your pace against Peeta’s cock increased. You both were so wound tight you might burst. You’d never been so aware of your pulse pounding in your ears, and you came with a strangled cry. Tears coated your cheeks as warmth encased your entire being and you spasmed against Peeta. You had a moment of respite as you thought the plant’s effects had subsided, but the drive to ravish him returned with a vengeance. 

He followed you off the precipice soon after you calmed down, back arched and head thrown back as his release covered your knuckles. The fog that surrounded your head cleared just enough for you to realize just how pretty Peeta looked like this. If you were going to die, you didn’t think you’d get a better view. 

Your pace slowed but Peeta was still hard in your hand. The boiling heat still lingered under your skin, and your pulse quickened. You wondered if that was the Capitol’s goal; to make you so fucked out you succumb to exhaustion or burn you from the inside out. 

Peeta looked utterly exhausted and a coil of guilt settled in the pit of your stomach. 

“Just one more, please,” you begged, trailing kisses down his neck. He nodded against you, and you could’ve cried from the relief that washed over you.

You lifted your hips and aligned the tip of his cock with your entrance, gasping at the sensation. Peeta’s hips bucked up unconsciously, shoving himself deeper inside you. A pained hiss left you, and Peeta cried out a thousand apologies, his iron grip returning to your hips once more. 

“I’m sorry. You’re just— Fuck… So— tight,” he babbled out, brown eyes glazing over. You pressed a featherlight kiss against his cheek, thoughts too consumed with his cock inside you to reassure him properly. You slowly lowered yourself onto him, sighing when your hips were finally flush. Peeta had his eyes screwed shut, gritting his jaw in thinly veiled restraint. 

Your hands settled on his shoulders as you began to rock your hips against his. Peeta rested his head against the tree as you rode him, releasing little pants and moans with every thrust of your hips. 

With each moment that passed your movements became more erratic, desperate to reach your peak once again. Peeta’s hands frantically roamed your body, grasping and kneading whatever inch of skin he could reach. 

He reached a hand between the two of you and drew hurried circles around your clit. He lifted his hips to meet yours, jutting himself deeper inside you. The sounds of skin slapping against skin filled your ears, and you prayed you were the only ones trapped in this portion of the arena. 

It took no time for your release to hit you, practically knocking the wind out of you as you clenched around Peeta’s cock. Your vision went hazy, and for a moment you feared you’d pass out. 

Peeta finished with a few more rolls of your hips against his. He filled you to the brim, his release hot and steady coated your walls. 

Your vision cleared as you came down from your high. The fire within you had finally dissipated, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You felt exhaustion consume you as you slumped against Peeta. 

“I’m sorry,” you slurred out, clinging onto Peeta like your life depended on it. Your face screwed up and you felt your throat tightening. 

“It’s okay. You’re okay,” he rushed out, running his hands over your body, attempting to soothe you as quiet sobs wracked your body. Your last thought before drowsiness overtook you was of how much you didn’t deserve Peeta Mellark. 

Your heart pounded as you awoke, adrenaline spiking as you heard someone calling your name. You jumped to your feet, eyes frantically searching your surroundings. Your movements caused Peeta to stir and his eyes shot open, the same panic gracing his features. 

You tugged on your suit, grimacing at the dried cum that covered your inner thighs. You tossed Peeta his suit and pulled him to his feet. You didn’t know how long you’d been out, and the thought turned your stomach. Someone could’ve easily come along and killed you both. 

You grabbed your weapon while Peeta removed the spile from the tree. 

“Let’s just hope our sponsors enjoyed the show,” you joked, immediately cringing as soon as the words left your mouth. 

The corners of Peeta’s mouth quirked up, “I’m sure they did.”

[solxamber]

⋆˚✿˖ Twisted Wonderland Masterlist I˖✿˚⋆

Masterlist II

Heartslabyul

Trash Novel Chronicles: System vs World - Riddle x reader

You have a guilty pleasure: trashy villainess stories. So when you die a frankly, humiliating death, and end up in one of the worst ones you've had the pleasure of reading, you're in denial. Then the villain system shows up. Well, there goes your second chance at life So what do you do now? Do villainous things and cause as much chaos as you can, of course. And maybe, just maybe, bag the male lead, Riddle Rosehearts while you're at it.

This is Love - Riddle x Reader

3 times he notices your acts of love and realizes it doesn't have to be grand and overdramatic like the movies, it could just be like this– sweet and considerate.

Dragon's Favorite Sacrifice - Trey x Reader

Trey finds himself volunteering to be the human sacrifice to you, an ancient dragon, in place of his siblings. What he didn't expect was to become your housekeeper instead of being eaten.

Cocoa Conspiracy - Trey x reader {Request}

He knew you as his partner, the love of his life, but he didn't realize your real identity: a spy vying for pastry destruction.

Donuts and Dark Arts - Trey x reader

All Trey wanted to do was deliver the bread he was supposed to and be on his merry way. Instead, he stumbles on you... in the middle of a ritual?

Birthday Party - Trey x reader {Request}

Trey is more worried than suspicious when you keep disappearing and acting suspicious. He gets more worried when the rest of heartslabyul join in. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't need to be)

Crisis Averted - Cater x reader

After a royal screw up, Cater is left scrambling trying to fix his mistake before you find out. Best part? You've known what he did from the start and you think it's hilarious.

Moments in Bloom - Cater x reader

Cater’s life is a perfect illusion, curated with smiles and snapshots. But beneath the surface, he wonders—what would it be like to be truly seen? To finally stop pretending and let himself bloom?

Forgiveness - Deuce Spade x reader

When Deuce accidentally breaks an item that you treasured, he's worries that he's broken your trust as well. But there's nothing that can't be fixed with a hug and an apology.

Savanaclaw

Knights and Oaths - Leona x reader

You come from a long line of knights that have served the rulers of the Savannah. But sometimes traditions are meant to change and the second prince is looking like someone worth changing them for.

Trash Novel Chronicles: Love Triangles and Royal Rumbles - Leona x reader

When you get isekai'd as the male lead in the novel where your favorite character, Leona Kingscholar is the second male lead, all that's left to do is rewrite the romance!

Burn Wild - Leona x reader

Always so close, yet so far away. Leona pushes it down—he keeps pushing and pushing, until one day, he lets it break.

Royal Scandal - Ruggie x reader (personal favorite)

You're being forced to marry someone to take the throne you've fought your entire life for. Okay, if that's how it is, you'll make sure to choose the one person here that your dearest parents will disapprove of the most.

Octavinelle

Shark Tanks and Shady Deals - Azul x reader

After narrowly dodging a one-way trip to the sharks, you've hit rock bottom, career-wise. Enter Azul: your friendly (totally-not-shady) talent manager. In a moment of desperation, you sign with him. Wait, he's actually really good at this. Like, too good at this. Maybe the near-shark experience was just the universe’s weird way of setting you up?

Trash Novel Chronicles: Not Another Royal Mess - Azul x Reader

As a proofreader who gets isekai’d into a cringeworthy novel, you decide to take revenge on the heroine and male lead for their awful story. With Azul—who just wanted to sell you a magic rock—pulled into your chaos.

Love Bites - Floyd x reader

You like him quite a bit, you really do but you're really questioning your decisions after some time spent with him ends up sending you to the ER.

Match Made in Madness - Floyd x reader

Soulmates get updates of each other's lives through an overly enthusiastic dream narrator. What's worse is that your soulmate seems to be completely unhinged.

Witch, Please - Floyd x reader

You're the best witch to go to for getting the job done. Your potions? Absolutely foolproof. At least, that's what you thought until a certain Floyd Leech waltzed into your store.

Cakes and Crime - Jade x reader

After a long week of assignments and sleep deprivation, all you wanted to do was satisfy your craving for a specific pastry at your local shady café. What you didn't mean to do was accidentally order a hit on yourself.

Love in Contempt - Jade x reader

When you take your ex, Jade to court over a ceramic octopus, the reason he wants it so badly might be sweeter than you thought.

Scarabia

Recipe for Love - Kalim x reader

You know you can't cook, your cat knows you can't cook, everyone who has seen your lunch box knows you can't cook. So why is Kalim so insistent on eating the monstrosities you conjure?

Rest Assured - Jamil x reader

4 times you see Jamil nearing his breaking point and the 1 time you intervene.

Pomefiore

Trash Novel Chronicles: Please Let Me Live - Vil x reader (personal favourite)

You get isekai'd into the worst novel you've had the misfortune of reading because apparently your life is a cosmic joke. Now all you have to do is not act like the character you've possessed and it'll be fine, you think?

Your fiancé being Vil Schoenheit makes it a little harder to behave like a human being with functional braincells, but hey, atleast he likes you, you think?

Fairytales and Fever Dreams - Vil x Reader

When you decide to beg a fairy for help at your lowest point, you didn't expect that he'd decide to help you— at the cost of you making skincare for him.

Of Seashells and Sweet Nothings - Vil x Reader

You're cursed to love everyone except Vil, and he's cursed to love only you. And yet somewhere along the way, it seems the cursed gene has skipped you.

aka Merman! Vil x reader

Roommate Rumble - Vil x Reader

You and Vil end up as roommates due to administrative error. Unstoppable force (Vil's perfectionism) meets immovable object (your chaos). It ends up working out perfectly.

Date(?) Night - Rook x reader

Rook is convinced that you have feelings for him after your "date". You have no idea what he's talking about, considering that you've never been on a date with him.

Ruler of My Heart - Rook x Reader (personal favorite)

He has always pursued beauty, and he sees everything. But has he ever been seen?

Ignihyde

Coughing up Love - Idia x reader

You don't think much of it when Idia starts acting weird because let's be real, that seems to be his default around you. Wait are those flowers he's coughing up?

Reaper's Guide to Romance- Idia x reader

When reaper Idia Shroud is assigned to collect your soul, he can't help but come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses to spare you.

Trash Novel Chronicles: I Want to Retire - Idia x reader

You write a novel that reads like a dumpster fire and while trying to delete the draft, you accidentally get isekai’d into it. Now, as the villainess you have to get Idia Shroud on your side as well as survive high society. You have your work cut out for you.

Hook, Line and Shy Guy - Idia x reader

Idia loves your shark tail. You think it's adorable.

Diasomnia

Kidnapped(?) - Malleus x reader

You were sick of the taxes imposed by the aristocrats in your already poverty stricken village. Your idea of a solution? Kidnap their young master , and make them reduce taxes as the ransom, of course. Only problem is that you went into the wrong manor and kidnapped the wrong young master.

How Not to Court Your Crush: A Disaster in Six Acts - Malleus Draconia x reader

You're trying to court Malleus so why is he acting so weird? Malleus is trying to court you, so why are you acting so weird?

aka you try fae courtship and malleus tries human courtship, you both fail spectacularly.

Trash Novel Chronicles: Accidentally Falling For a Fae Prince - Malleus x reader

When you get dragged into a novel which ends with the heroine in a polycule with the most annoying men in literature, you decide that you're gonna skip town. ...Only to trip over the fae prince, Malleus Draconia.

How to Tame Your Dragon - Malleus x reader (personal favorite)

Since you and Malleus have gotten into a relationship, you've become a bona-fide dragon soother. But whenever you fumble, the entirety of NRC faces the consequences.

aka the 7 times you cause ecological disasters and the 1 time it works out for you.

Trash Novel Chronicles: I'd Rather Date the Male Lead's Dad - Lilia x reader

When you end up in your best friend's favourite but absurd novel about breaking a fae prince's curse, you didn't expect to get attached to his little family too. Even more unexpected? You fell for the male lead's dad, but hey, it looks like he likes you too.

Others

Frights and Fancies - Skully J. Graves x reader

Doing Halloween prep with Skully! (This is Grim's Night before before Halloween) {written before the full event is out so might end up ooc}

Chasing Fairytales - Neige LeBlanche x Reader

Neige is convinced that you're either allergic to him specifically or he's done something to offend you with the way you're avoiding him. You're just trying not to get blinded by his smile.

Project Love - Rollo Flamme x reader

When your eccentric professor pairs you and Rollo up for a study on attachment types, you didn't realise how much it would change your lives.

Romance Roulette- Rollo Flamme x reader

You, Rollo's self-proclaimed bestfriend, have been trying to set him up with someone for the past few weeks. If all your plans fail, maybe you should do it yourself?

Homecoming - Rollo Flamme x reader

You come home after a long work trip. Rollo is happy to have you back.

Sweet Encounter - Rollo Flamme x reader

You really want the parfait that's exclusive to couples. So you you do what anyone would do, pretend a random stranger in the café is your partner of course.

Escape Route - Rollo Flamme x reader

You're stuck at a party that you frankly don't give a damn about. And Rollo Flamme looks like he would rather do anything else than be here, so you grab him and bounce.

Yours to Keep - Rollo Flamme x reader

Rollo is calm, collected and confident. Jealous? Rollo Flamme? No way! ...unless?

Stolen Kisses - Rollo Flamme x reader

5 times you kiss him and the 1 time he kisses you

Multi Characters

Hanahaki with Overblot Gang

Making Up After an Argument with Overblot Gang + Rollo

Period Simulator with Adeuce + Overblot Gang + Rollo

Requests

Rook Hunt x reader (Shape-shifter! reader)

Malleus Draconia x Reader (24 Plum Blossom User! Reader)

All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Chen'ya (Wild cat beastman reader)

Dorm Leaders + Jamil (Colorblind reader)

Idia Shroud x reader (Sentient Otome Game NPC! reader) // Part 2

Azul Ashengrotto x reader (Insecure Mer-form Azul x reader, hurt/comfort)

All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige (White Rabbit! reader)

White Rabbit! Reader overblots

Aftermath of White Rabbit! Reader's Overblot

Epel, Vil x reader (Teaching Epel Capoeira)

Vil, (platonic) Crewel x reader (Fashion disaster reader)

Rest of the characters react to fashion disaster reader

Malleus Draconia x reader(Insecure reader, hurt/comfort, happy ending)

Lilia Vanrouge x reader (NPC! Reader)

Pomefiore x reader (Artist!Admirer! reader)

Heartslabyul, Octavinelle, Pomefiore + Che'nya (Absolem! reader)

Savanaclaw, Scarabia, Ignihyde, Diasomnia + NRC Staff + Neige (Absolem! reader)

Malleus, Vil, Jade with Angel!Reader

Jamil, Rook, Vil, Lilia with cherub! reader

Tweels with a strong reader

Idia x reader (Reader gets turned into a cat)

Jamil, Azul with a super talented reader

Lilia with a reader who behaves like General Lilia

Leona with an unhinged reader

Vil, Malleus with an unhinged reader

All NRC + Staff + Rollo (Reader shapeshifts according to emotion)

7th Overblot Aftermath - All NRC + Staff (Hurt/Comfort)

Rollo Flamme x reader / Part 2 / Part 3

Savanaclaw, Scarabia with a silly but mature reader

Ace, Deuce, Silver with artistic reader

Grim vs Cat (Idia x reader)

Deuce, Riddle, Ace, Epel with Pomefiore! reader

Jade, Jamil, Azul with 'The Cat'! Reader

Vil, Rook Idia with 'The Cat'! Reader

Delinquent Deuce x Delinquent reader

Pomefiore + Jamil with a Maternal! reader

All NRC(-Ortho), Rollo, Neige, Che'nya with M! Incubus! Reader

Trey, Jamil, Platonic Adeuce with Rich! reader

All NRC + Staff + Rollo, Neige, Najma Viper with Slime! reader

Skully J. Graves with a Huohuo! reader

Overblot gang + Ruggie with a Princess! Reader

Idia, Cater, Rollo comforting recovering reader (Warning: Mentions of SH)

Octavinelle with Shark! Reader

Sam x reader(platonic)

Skully J. Graves x reader (Double Halloween!)

Octavinelle, Diasomnia x Freshwater Stingray! Reader

Main Masterlist

[devourable]

⚠︎ the stalker

sfw, mdni, beta read by @fluffula | tags ;; masc yandere x gn reader — stalking (duh), themes of self deprecation/lack of self worth, erotomania

hii im back from my unannounced hiatus bc i have more time on my hands :] ik vega didnt win the poll but fsr theyre the only one i could get myself to write sooo 🫶 i know im super rusty since I haven't written in ages so sorry if this is a lackluster return fic. it just be like that

vega just wasn’t the type of person that people liked. it was a fact, and he was well aware of it.

they were lanky and awkward, unkempt, and often didn’t know what to say or do in any given social situation. no one went out of their way to interact with them and vice versa. the few times he ended up around others anyway, he always found himself sidelined by the few people he could refer to as friends — they’d never be the focus, if they weren’t forgotten about entirely.

they weren’t anyone’s first choice. hell, they weren’t a second or third choice, either. it was a sad existence that he had accepted long ago — why bother trying to fit in if he wasn’t wanted? he was so boring, he wouldn’t wanna hang out with himself either, anyway. so every day and every night, they were alone.

then, he met you.

it started so simply. you started working at the same office as them, and they knew off the bat that it was your first time in a place like this. they expected nothing of you — maybe a lukewarm greeting as you passed each other during the workday, but not much more than that. so it surprised them when after your introduction, you rounded their desk and gently asked if they could show you around. maybe it was something about your tone, maybe it was that friendly look in your eye, maybe it was just you as a whole. but something about you just got them. they were out of their chair before they realized it.

they weren't the talkative type, but it didn't matter — you kept asking questions during the entire tour. what was that room for? how long had they been working there? did they like working there? you wanted their attention and they for the life of them couldn’t get why. even less so, they didn’t understand why they were so ready to give it to you. they couldn't help the way they stuttered out their answers to your questions, nor the way their face flushed after you laughed at the way they responded. but you did have to work, so you withdrew from them eventually to do just that.

well after you departed to your cubicle, you remained on their mind. your voice, the way you laughed, how you looked, it all swirled around in their mind as they sat in their desk. it remained that way the entire day, the following night, and the day after — they couldn't get you off their mind!

you chose him. you chose him, out of everyone else in the office. you were the only person that did that, and it made them feel so seen. so real, so… loved? was this what love was? the pounding in their chest and their flushed face would make him believe so. they couldn’t wait to see you again. just the thought of you returning the next day and every day after that bloomed butterflies in their tummy.

vega’s longing for you only grew more and more intense after every passing day. every day you came to work, they’d be the first to greet you and the last to bid you goodbye. they even changed their days off to match yours — going to work hardly seemed worth it if you weren’t there to make the day more bearable. every day they sat at their desk, daydreaming about spending time with you, going home with you, doing all the things they never imagined that they’d ever do before. and even though they were too awkward to seek you out during the work day, it didn’t stop them from staring at you every chance they got.

but after that first day, you paid less and less attention to them. you had work to do, after all, and no matter how hard they yearned for you, it grew harder to get you to notice them and harder for them to watch you. it was excruciating. for the first time in his life, vega wanted to be wanted — by you, specifically. he wanted your attention, your voice, your eyes on them again. but if they couldn’t have that, they needed to see you more to make up for it.

the stalking started small at first. occasionally following you when you got up from your desk to give a file to your supervisor or use the restroom, pretending to be distracted should you ever notice them (which you hardly did — they didn’t know if that bothered them or not). sometimes he ended his day at the same time yours ended so he could walk out with you, watching you leave from their car before they left themself. and eventually they started to follow you home directly. it was always from a distance. they wouldn’t want to frighten you, after all! it was okay as long as you weren’t bothered by it, he told himself.

he memorized your routine so he could base his own around it. you went to the store? he was going too. spending the day at the library? he was stalking after you from a different aisle. sometimes they’d leave little gifts on your doorstep just to see your bewildered reaction. watching you became his favorite pastime — they almost liked it more than talking to you directly. you somehow never noticed them lurking, staring at you from some shady hiding spot, panting and trembling just from the sheer excitement that your existence caused them. were you aware of just how cute you were when you thought no one was watching you? knowing all your bad habits, your mannerisms and all the things you did in private was exhilarating. it was like a secret for just the two of you. and whenever you came into work and talked to him like you usually did, it made him so fucking excited. did you know? maybe you did and you were fine with it. that had to be why you were so nice to them. they loved the idea of you liking their bad behavior.

vega had no plans of confessing to you anytime soon. he had so much fun stalking you, he saw no need to ruin it with his feelings. besides, you liked them back anyway — you had to have, why else would you let him get away with it for so long? he knew you wanted him, and he wanted you in return. all he had to do was wait for you.

[rosemaze-reveries]

During an interview, the manor guests suddenly get a question about you.

this is def an experimental format!! i got this idea while reading the character letters. in the POV of an unknown interviewer (not reader). reader uses they/them.

🔗⚰️📰🔮❤️‍🩹💉🌪️✂️🍀🩰🔫🪡🤹🧲🦋🐍

Q. Could you describe your relationship with (Y/N)?

🔗 Ada - "Yes, that's my lover. I would say our relationship falls within the typical scope of that sort of thing. Of course, I believe we share something special, but everyone does when they're in love, don't they?" She covers all her bases in one decisive breath, leaving little room for me to comment.

⚰️ Aesop sits perfectly upright, fingers threaded at his knees. His eyes drift to the side and he seems to begin speaking mid-thought. "I had... cautioned myself not to upset their perception of me," he explains. "But they pried, and stayed, regardless of what they found... For that, I'm grateful."

📰 Alice has kept a sharp eye on me the entire time, but it's at this question that she drops the formalities. "I wasn't aware you would be prying into my personal affairs. Where did you learn that name?" Her frankness pins me in place. For some reason, I end up apologizing.

🔮 Eli can't help a sheepish smile from blooming across his face. "Well, truthfully... I don't use this term lightly, but they might be the love of my life." He has been consistently grounded with his responses, so I'm surprised to catch him flustered, however subtle it is. Personally, I'm touched.

❤️‍🩹 Emil considers for a moment. He doesn't meet me in the eye, instead pinning his gaze on nowhere in particular. A faint smile ghosts his lips. After a while, he answers, simply, "Safe."

💉 Emily's hands are folded neatly on her lap. At the mention of that name, her shoulders tense, but she otherwise maintains her composure. "Someone I trust." Her answer is vague and cautious, but acceptable. I'll try to uncover a deeper meaning behind that 'trust'.

🌪️ Ithaqua - "Mine." He is curt and to the point. Yours? I echo, hoping he'll elaborate. His head tilts to the side, and while I can't see the face behind his mask, a sense of dread suddenly overcomes me. I decide not to press further.

✂️ Jack stretches out his hand of blades, flexing each finger in front of him. I can't deny the cold sweat that drips down my spine just by being in his presence. "May I respond with a question of my own?" he says to me. "Suppose a butterfly loses its way, and winds up caught in a spider's web. Wouldn't you agree that the more it writhes and struggles, the more exhilarated the spider becomes?" I don't have the courage to hear out the rest of this analogy.

🍀 Lucky - "I've always been known as a pretty lucky guy, but the luckiest day of my life was when I met them! I remember it was the—" He drags me down a long-winded story about their life together. I get the idea. Eventually I'm forced to cut him off.

🩰 Margaretha twirls a curl of hair, a meek blush dusting her cheeks. "Have you ever been in love before? You're never prepared for the magic of it all. I feel a new rush with them everyday. I know, realistically, all good things come to an end, so I tried to remind myself to expect the worst, but they've proven over and over that... I'll never feel safer than in their arms." After rambling for some time, a look of surprise flashes across her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that. Oh, but I've just never met someone who feels so much like true love before."

🔫 Martha doesn't miss a beat. "Sorry, I don't know anyone by that name." I look down to double-check the name written in her file. Her watchful gaze follows my line of sight. Are you sure? I try. "Must've been some confusion somewhere," she insists. The next day, I realize all my files on her and (Y/N) have gone missing.

🪡 Matthias - "Wh-What?" he starts, but keeps going before I can repeat the question. "Oh, uh, an ally, I guess." Well, I gathered that much. When I press for more details, his head sinks low, fingers grasping at the armrest. "I don't know what they saw in me. Was it out of pity?"

🤹 Mike's eyes light up and he blinds me with a contagious smile. "(Y/N)'s a sneaky one, and I mean it—they've got me under the trickiest spell of all. Guess what happens every time I think about them?" Egged on by his grin, I take the bait. You get lovesick? I guess. Suddenly, he tosses a handful of butterfly glitter in my face. "I get butterflies!" Very funny, I sigh, exasperated with these carnies. Why did he have that on hand in the first place?

🧲 Norton leans back in his chair, scowling. "What's that got to do with anything?" He snaps a couple times in my face, urging me to "stay on topic." It's hard to say if this question struck a nerve, as he's been uncooperative for most of this interview, but my suspicions point me to prod further. After all, it'd have been much easier if he just said he didn't know them.

🦋 Vera's face contorts into a leery, hostile glower. "Why do you ask that?" Before I can say anything to mitigate the rising tension, she catches herself, and her expression softens slightly. "I'm sorry. That's... someone quite dear to me, so your question took me by surprise."

🐍 Yidhra's follower goes pale, clearly unnerved. "She won't answer that," she tells me through shallow breaths. "Th-This isn't my place to say, but I'd advise you not to involve yourself with that person." As if on cue, I get a sensation I can only describe as a hand slowly wrapping around my neck. It disappears when I move to scratch it. Must've been my imagination.

Part 2

[astarion-approves]

Drabble request: Astarion having to work through the logistics of kissing his much shorter lover (like a gnome or halfling)

Astarion x GN! Short reader

Fluff, silly, slightly ooc, mostly SFW - referenced past bedding together. NO BETA and very lazy proof reading.

-------

This relationship with Astarion was admittedly off to a strange start.

In the beginning, the vampire seemed to avoid you, his behavior uncertain whenever he was around you. He wasn’t necessarily shy, not exactly — but more so because he didn’t know how to behave around you…

Because you’re short.

More often than not you would find his eyes on you, and you thought that he might be sizing you up. Although you were strong, many thought you would go down easily based on your height. A judgment that would always end in their demise.

However, then the comments began.

“Such an adorable little creature, I wish I could put you in my pocket.”

“You know, you’re at the perfect height to— Hm, Nevermind.”

“Have you ever slept with someone taller than you? … Would you care to try it?”

And then you slept together.

Maybe it was after defeating an entire army of goblins, or maybe it was this building tension between you, but you were pulled together so quickly that you never had the time to figure out what this relationship was.

And ever since that first night… Astarion has been making excuses to kiss you, and it was always in the form of dropping something next to you.

Walking through the cities, hiking over a mountain, in the middle of battle, Astarion would ‘accidentally’ drop something next to you and take the opportunity to kiss you.

“Shit.”

Astarion stood next to your bedding, having just dropped a comb onto the ground next to you.

“Oh my. How embarrassing.”

Then he bent down, reaching for the comb but his gaze focused on you. He smiled, leaning close to you, his lips glossy and tempting—

“Well, I suppose while I’m down here…. I could kiss you.”

The kisses were always soft, filled with so much tenderness that you never expected with such a creature. A slight brush of his tongue over your lips, teasing you, daring you to deepen the kiss and take it even further.

‘Astarion.’

You place your hand against his chest, gently pushing him back.

‘You don’t have to keep dropping things to kiss me.’

Astarion narrowed his eyes at you, a slow creeping of blush blooming on his cheeks.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just clumsy is all.”

‘Are you saying you don’t want to kiss me then?’

He sighed before dropping himself next to you and kicking his legs out in front of himself.

“No. That’s not what I’m saying at all, darling.”

Astarion chucked to himself, shaking his head as he did.

“I wasn’t sure what this was. Us. Together.”

‘I like you.’

He straightened up, clearing his throat and blushing even harder now at your blunt confession.

“Do you now? Well… in that case we could try being together.”

‘I would like that.’

“A good thing too, I was running out of things to drop. I was going to start making excuses with needing to tie my shoes…”

You both look down to his boots as he rotates them side to side in front of himself, and you can’t help but laugh.

‘Astarion, you boots have no laces.’

“Exactly. That would have been very embarrassing…”

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Hello! Recently read your latest Rin piece and fell in love with your writing style :)

If you’re up for it, could I request childhood friends with Hiori? Sorry it’s a little vague, but I love the direction you’ve taken other pieces and wanted to leave the details up to you! My only suggestion on a detail would be maybe sprinkling in some light angst about his parents/backstory.

Thank you for considering!

── WHITE BUTTERFLY

Synopsis: You spend the years of your youth with Yo Hiori, in a field that’s almost lonely as the two of you.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Hiori x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.7k

Content Warnings: childhood friends, hiori is vaguely suicidal and also vaguely homicidal, uhh i feel like i know nothing about him as a character so popping that sexy little ooc warning in there jic, open ending, lots of #nature, almost the entire story takes place in a field so idk, hiori is like. madly in love w reader but he’s nonchalant abt it

A/N: thank you so much anon that means a lot!! cherry tree rin and y/n are so silly (<- affectionate) i’m glad you enjoyed that fic 💖 one thing about me i love a good childhood friends to lovers trope especially with angst…hiori is another character i haven’t written a ton for so i hope i interpreted him correctly and that you like what i decided to do with your prompt!! ty for requesting 🫶🏻

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

The field across from your house was melancholic and desolate, an acre or so of rolling green that bled into trees at the edges. Although by all rights it should’ve been considered a picturesque place, no amount of beauty could take away from the abandoned atmosphere which had long ago settled over the land.

According to your parents, there had been plans for a grand mansion to be built in that location, but before drafts for its construction could be drawn up, the owner had died. The son who had inherited it had no use for the plot, but neither could he be brought to sell the place of his father’s dreams, so the land had sat empty and unused for years upon years. 

People thought the area was cursed, and the general consensus was that it ought to be avoided, but your parents did not believe in things like curses and bad luck and whatnot, so they told you it was fine if you wanted to play there. You were a lonely child, prone to wandering off on your own anyways, and you supposed they must’ve reasoned to themselves that it’d be easier if you were close enough that you could run home should something happen. 

You would sit in the middle of the field, far from any prying eyes, and you’d admire the blooming plants beneath your feet. It was not just grass — there were a million and one varieties of things growing in that wild place, and you would run your fingers along their leaves, doing your best not to frighten the animals and insects which called that field their home.

They grew accustomed to you with time, and instead of shying away, they invited you into their own world. The squirrels and chipmunks would dash out from their trees to scuttle around your feet and splayed hands, while the dormice would peek out of their burrows without fear, nibbling on whatever seeds they had gathered before settling in for the day. The larks would warble to you, and if you were in a particularly cheery mood, you’d whistle back to them, trying to imitate their melodies but always falling a little short.

The third time you went to the field, you found that someone had arrived before you. For a moment, you thought that he must be a ghost, for he stood in such stark contrast to everything you had come to know that there was no other reasonable explanation for it. He was spindly and pale like a skeleton, and his shaggy hair and eyes were the color of winter, such an unnatural shade compared to the viridian he was surrounded by.

You were contemplating running away when he turned around, his eyes widening when he saw you. In his hands was a soccer ball, and resting on the soccer ball was a large white butterfly, its lazily flapping wings shimmering like a whisper in the sunlight.

You were both silent for a moment, a soft breeze rustling through the field and sounding like a song that urged you towards him despite your misgivings. Tentatively, he held the ball out towards you, but the motion startled the butterfly, which abruptly took to the air, fluttering away before either of you could react.

“Who are you?” you said.

“Yo Hiori,” he said. “Who are you?”

“Y/N L/N,” you said. “I live in the house across the street.”

“We’re neighbors, then,” he said. “My house is a few doors down from yours. Do you come here often?”

“Yes,” you said. “Do you?”

He shook his head ruefully. “This is the first time. My parents think I’m practicing soccer right now.”

“You shouldn’t do that here,” you said, frowning at the thought of him kicking up dirt and slamming a ball around carelessly through your sanctuary. “Go somewhere else if you want to play something so reckless.”

“I don’t,” he said. You furrowed your brow. “Don’t want to practice soccer, I mean.”

“I see,” you said. “Well, this is a good place to run to if that’s the case. No one will come looking for you here.”

“Is that the truth?” he said. “Really?”

“Really,” you said. “Everyone thinks it’s cursed, but in truth, I think that that just means it’s blessed.”

“Ah,” Hiori said. “But do you mind?”

“Do I mind what?” you said.

“If I keep coming here,” he said. “When I want to run away.”

“It doesn’t belong to me. I suppose you could say I belong to it, but that’s neither here nor there. No, I can’t stop you, so why would I mind?” you said.

“Are you some sort of woodland fairy?” he said. You laughed aloud.

“I wish. Are you a ghost?” you said. He shook his head.

“Nope,” he said.

“Then I guess our claims to this place are equal,” you said. “Anyways, as long as you don’t disturb it too much, I won’t be angry. I’ll do the same for you, don’t worry.”

“I don’t care what you do to it,” he said. “I just want to go somewhere that’s quiet and I can be left alone.”

This much you could understand, and you thought that perhaps Hiori would grow to be an exception to your loneliness, or an addition to it. Not a cure, because that did not exist, but a person who could relish in his own solitude and share in that inexplicable sensation which was your greatest joy.

You never saw him anywhere but in that field. You weren’t sure if he even existed outside of its context, or if he was like the dormice and the larks, a skittish creature who made his home in those grassy divots and only appeared to greet you before running back off to hide once you were gone.

At first, he was even more reserved than the animals had been. Neither of you spoke, but somehow, it happened that you were always in the same place at the same time, and eventually, little by little, the two of you became dependent on one another’s presence. Your life before meeting Hiori was pale and lifeless in comparison to your life after, and the first time you both spoke as friends instead of strangers, you thought to yourself that you could never go back to the way you had previously been.

No longer did you whistle at birds and play with squirrels; instead, you sat across from Hiori and listened to him explain things like soccer and video games. You were not particularly interested in either of these subjects, but as long as it was Hiori, you didn’t mind hearing about them. It was the cadence of his voice you were concerned with, the rise and fall of his words, the soft inflections of each syllable. 

You had never had a friend before. It was a personal choice rather than a failing; every person who tried to engage with you was met with the same disdain, for you found no appeal in any such clumsy attempts at camaraderie. In your childish mind, friendship ought to be hard-won and delicately kept, and so it remained that of all the people in the world, Hiori was the only one whose honest company you could prefer.

He was a forlorn and low-spirited boy, the winter to your bursting summer, but his coldness was the inviting sort, like a dusting of snow on a cluster of berries or frost on a forgotten bird’s nest. It did not ward you away but drew you in, your breath fogging in the air as you lay beside him and listened to him ramble on and on about whatever topics struck his fancy.

Sometimes he was prone to muteness, and on those occasions you took it upon yourself to intertwine your fingers with his, pulling him along behind you and naming every plant and tree and flower you passed by, greeting the tittering chipmunks and the cooing larks and the peeping rabbits. He would not say anything, but you knew he was listening, for he would smile slightly whenever you pointed at something he found particularly pleasing.

Every day, he would bring the soccer ball with him. He refused to put it down, but neither did he play with it or even acknowledge its existence; you sensed it vexed him, that it was the source or a symptom of the gloomy undercurrent which ran through his life, but he could not let it go, just like he could never truly be happy in any way that lasted.

“Y/N,” he said once, when you and he were lying on your backs in the grass and watching the clouds drift by. “If you could be any other creature, what would you be?”

“I don’t know,” you said, considering the question seriously. “Maybe a songbird. What about you?”

“I’d be one of those,” he said, pointing at a butterfly floating past. It was a common variety, nondescript and plain and white, but somehow made more beautiful by the ubiquity of its kind.

“Why?” you said.

“I’d live a short but carefree life, and then I would die before anyone could demand anything from me,” he said, smiling slightly and closing his eyes. “Plus, if I could be something as small and pretty as a butterfly in our meadow, then I would be able to spend my entire existence resting on your finger.”

Your meadow. You weren’t sure when it had gone from being a place you visited to a place you owned, but yes, the shift had definitely occurred. You and Hiori loved it, and so it was yours by that right alone. You reached out your hand, setting it on his heart and then closing your own eyes in a mirror of his position.

“I wouldn’t prefer that,” you said. Something cool and soft curled over your fingers; you knew without looking that it was Hiori’s own hand, which would always come to rest against yours like a magnet.

“Hm,” he said.

“I’d get used to you being there,” you explained. “And then one day you’d vanish and I’d be alone again.”

“Would you miss me?” he said.

“Very much,” you said. 

“Nobody else would,” he admitted, though he still spoke in an even monotone. “I’d be replaced quickly. Someone just as talented or even better would take my place, and then it’d be like I was never there in the first place.”

“I’d miss you,” you insisted. “I don’t care about talent. You’re someone who’s irreplaceable to me.”

“I see,” he said. “Then I guess, if not a butterfly, I would also want to be a songbird. Like you.”

“We could fly around the world together,” you said. 

“Yes,” he said. “The countries I’ve seen in my video games…we could go to them. If we were birds, we could.”

“Maybe we still can,” you said.

“We can’t,” he said. “My parents would never let me.”

“What about when we’re adults? They can’t tell you what to do then, so we can leave them behind and travel wherever we want,” you said.

“It’s a nice dream,” he said.

“Hold onto it,” you said. “That’s the only way it can ever come true.”

“Okay,” he said. “I will.”

Even as you and Hiori became older and made friends outside of one another, there was a sort of solace which only he could provide you and which in turn only you could provide him, so neither of you ever outgrew that field. The moment you got home from school, you’d drop your bag on the counter and run there as fast as you could, hoping to see him before he had to leave for soccer practice. And every time, without fail, he’d be there, waiting where he always was, his small smile widening when he saw you racing towards him.

The contents of your conversations changed, moving from games and plants to complaining about schoolwork and updating one another about your respective social lives and dramas — he went to a private academy for soccer, while you attended the public school that most kids your age went to — but the familiarity never diminished. If anything, it only increased, as any inhibitions you had had in your youths gradually fell away.

“Hiori! You’ll never believe it,” you said, moving his abandoned soccer ball aside and sitting across from him. He did not look up from the pieces of grass he was braiding together, but he nodded to indicate he was listening. “Remember those two guys I was telling you about?”

“The ones who had a crush on the same girl?” he said.

“Yup, those two,” you said. “They finally got into a fistfight over her! It was crazy.”

“Who won?” he said.

“The principal, because he broke up the brawl and suspended them both,” you said. “Thereby ruining their brief romance-novel-moment entirely.”

“That’s a pity,” he said with a snort. “I can’t imagine what possessed them to do something as stupid as beating each other up on school grounds.”

“Love makes people crazy,” you said dramatically, pressing the back of your hand to your forehead and collapsing backwards into the dirt. “You’ll understand when you feel it yourself, silly Hiori.”

“Huh?” he said.

“I mean, one day, you’ll fall madly in love with someone, and then you’ll be inclined to beat another person up for them,” you said.

“What if I already have?” he said. You shot up with a gasp.

“And you didn’t tell me? Who is it? Who, who? You can’t hide stuff like that!” you said.

“It was only a hypothetical,” he said. “There isn’t anyone. What about you? Are you madly in love with someone?”

“You’ll be the first to know when I am, but at the moment, I don’t find myself able to even tolerate any of the boys I go to school with! They’re all disgusting, immature, and insensitive. Just looking at them is enough to make me gag, so forget about falling in love!” you said.

“That sucks,” he said.

“Maybe I’ll be single forever,” you said. “I’ll live alone, with pets and a porch swing and a backyard just like this field, somewhere faraway where no one can find me.”

“What about me?” he said, taking your wrist and tying the braided grass around it like a bracelet.

“Well, I’ll tell you where I am, of course,” you said. “You’re the only one I would want as a visitor.”

“I’ll come every day,” he said.

“At that point, you might as well just live there with me,” you said, rolling your eyes. “It’d save you the time spent traveling back and forth.”

“Would you like me to?” he said. “I thought the point was for you to be alone.”

“If it’s you, then it wouldn’t be so bad,” you said. “Being with you is even better than being alone.”

The sun hit Hiori at the exact moment that he grinned at you, and in the back of your mind, where things were understood but not known, you recognized that of all the beings in that lovely place, he was far and away the loveliest.

A distant and rumbling thunder portended a storm on the day you learned who Hiori really was. He never went to the field if it was raining — there was no excuse for him to escape his home, and so, though you did not much mind the weather, you tended to keep to your room on those days as well. Today, though, the rain was still only a blot on the horizon, which meant you would have a precious few minutes with him before it began to pour and you had to leave again.

“Hey, Hiori,” you said. In an uncharacteristic move, he wasn’t holding onto the soccer ball; instead, it was on the ground, his foot resting atop it, his head bowed towards it and his hands balled into fists at his sides. He glanced up at you, and you were surprised to see that there was a dead, hollow quality to his eyes, which, though always placid and still, were never this shade of dark and dreary. “Is everything okay?”

“Have you ever wanted to kill someone?” he said.

“No,” you said immediately, taken aback. “Have you?”

“No,” he said. “Yes. I’m not sure. I don’t want to do it, but somehow, I want my parents to die.”

Another crack of thunder. You approached Hiori slowly, like he was a deer that would leap away the instant you were close enough to touch him. But he was not a deer, and he stayed preternaturally immobile, his harsh panting the only signal that he was a person and not a statue.

“Do you mean that?” you said when you were near enough to him that you could’ve embraced him if you wanted. “Is that really how you feel, Hiori?”

“Yes,” he said vehemently. “Yes, I mean it more than anything. Everything would be better if they would just die and leave me alone.”

He drew his leg back and slammed it into the ball. It streaked through the field, leaving a muddy rut in its wake, tearing up the grass and the flowers before crashing into a tree with a groan. You stared at the path of devastation it had wrought, wondering how such an innocent object could create such havoc, how such a simple act could have such irreversible consequences.

“That’s what soccer is,” he said when he had caught his breath and noticed your silence. “A tiring game you play to ruin yourself.”

“I thought you liked playing soccer,” you said. “You always told me how good you were at it.”

“Just because I’m good at it doesn’t mean I like it,” he said. “I hate it almost as much as I hate the people that make me play it.”

“Then why do you keep going?” you said. “Why don’t you quit?”

“Because I have to,” he said. “My parents gave birth to me so that I could play soccer and be the best at it. That’s the only role I know how to conform to, so how can I do anything but accept it?”

You wrapped one arm and then the other around his torso, leaning your temple against the dip of his collarbone, turning your back to the blight he had caused and holding onto him as lightning split the sky.

“Don’t ruin yourself,” you said. “Don’t betray who you are because other people tell you to. If you don’t want to play soccer, then don’t. Quit and leave it behind. Maybe everyone else will mock you, but would it be enough if I didn’t? If I alone swore not to think any less of you, then would you be able to do it?”

“No,” he said. Something dripped onto your head, and you thought it had started raining early until you realized that Hiori’s voice was catching on nothing, his heart beating as fast as a mouse’s. “No, it wouldn’t be enough. I have to play soccer.”

“Why?” you said.

“My parents,” he said. “If I don’t play soccer — no, if I’m not good at soccer, they’ll divorce. They’ll divorce and it’ll be my fault, so I have to keep doing it, because no matter how much I hate them, I can’t be — I can’t be the reason that they — that anything bad happens to them.”

The droplets came in quicker succession, but with a final clap of thunder, the sky opened to let the rain out, blurring the line between his tears and the natural precipitation which would’ve occurred whether or not you were there.

You didn’t know what to say to him, so you opted to say nothing, pressing into him for as long as you could before you both had to go, leaving one another behind as you were always forced to. Now, though, there was a proof of your existence in the shape of that ugly gash that his soccer ball had torn into the field, an alteration which was directly a consequence of your actions. In a season or two, it would be grown over, but for the time being, it cheered you to think that the world could no longer avoid acknowledging you, acknowledging that you and Hiori were real, that you were alive and belonged.

In your second year of high school, a boy in your class came up to you, stopped you in the hallway in front of everyone and thrust a bouquet of supermarket flowers into your hands. He asked you to read the attached card, and you obliged, though you had a feeling you already knew what it said.

As you had predicted, it was an invitation to have lunch with him sometime. His cheeks were red and his smile was wide as he waited for you to say yes, but all you could think of when you looked at him was Hiori. How would he feel about this turn of events? Would he be amused or jealous or unfazed entirely? Would it even matter to him? Why were you thinking of him at a time like this?

No, that last question was one you knew the answer to already. The reason why you were thinking of Hiori was the same reason you still went to that field to see him, even though you were far too old to play with mice and birds and clovers now. It was the same reason that you recoiled from any other boy who tried to talk to you — because they were not him, they could never be him. It was because — it was because —

Much to the consternation of the audience you had unwillingly gathered, you handed the card and flowers back to the boy, shaking your head as politely as you could. There was a demand for an explanation on the tip of his tongue, but you left before he could make it. The explanation was not one you wanted to share, so you covered your ears with your hands to drown out the insults he shouted after you and strode away before he could say anything worse.

Hiori was always the first to arrive and the last to leave, so it was no surprise that he was waiting for you where he always was. Today, though, you did not bother with formalities or welcomes or lighthearted questions. You paid no mind to his antsy demeanor, instead catching his hands between your own and squeezing them.

“Y/N—”

“Hiori—”

You both called out each other’s names at the same time, with the same urgency, though there was a layer of despair when he said Y/N, just as there was pleading infused into the way you murmured Hiori.

“You first,” he said, though he looked over your shoulder, staring towards the road instead of at you. “Quickly.”

“Okay,” you said. “A boy asked me out.”

“Oh,” he said, and when his gaze slid onto you, you noticed that for the first time, there was something flaring to life in the blank depths of his irises, a veritable maelstrom of unreadable emotions twisting together and blending into something entirely other than the stillness you had come to expect from him. “What did you say?”

“I refused,” you said. “I couldn’t date him, not in good conscience. Not when I like — not when there’s someone else.”

“Someone else?” he said. “Y/N, please hurry.”

“What’s the matter?” you said, letting go of his hands so that you could instead hold his face. “Hiori, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you in trouble with your soccer team? Is that stupid crow boy causing you problems?”

“What? No, no, Karasu’s not done anything worse than usual. It’s my parents, I think they’re growing suspicious of me, I’m afraid they’ll—”

“It’s you,” you said, cutting him short, his haste rubbing off on you. You weren’t sure whether it was his anxiety or your own or some sort of divine premonition, but you suddenly felt an impending doom, as if you had to speak at that exact instant or give up the chance to ever say it again. “Hiori, you’re the reason I said no. It’s because I like you.”

Hiori, who had carved his way into your heart on the very first day you met, who was fond of butterflies and songbirds, who was bashful like winter and gentle like dusk. How could you help it? Of course you liked him. That boy who had reached into the lonely chasm of your soul and ripped it out, turned it into something lighter and warmer and whole…how could you help falling for him?

“Me?” he said in disbelief. “But—”

“So this is where you go, Yo,” a stern voice said. Hiori inhaled sharply, and then he yanked away from you, shoving you behind him, though it was far too late. You knew who had finally found the two of you, and furthermore, there was no way she hadn’t seen you. “This doesn’t look like practicing soccer. How much time have you been wasting in this dump, with this fool of a girl?”

You peered around Hiori’s back, holding onto the hem of his shirt. Fear constricted your throat when you saw a woman who bore an uncanny resemblance to him standing before you, her hands on her hips, a dour expression on her face. Whatever had been sparkling in Hiori at your confession had abruptly disappeared, replaced by an even more severe version of himself.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “We just met recently.”

“Not a big deal? Think about how much better at soccer you would be if you actually spent this time practicing instead of messing around! A few minutes every day is the difference between starting for a team and being a substitute, because a few minutes every day turns to hours every week, which turns into days lost every month! You should be ashamed of yourself,” his mother said, marching over and grabbing him by the collar, wrenching him away from you. “From now on, I’ll be supervising your additional practice time. As for you, young lady…don’t even think of coming near him again. He doesn’t need distractions like you getting in the way of his ultimate goal.”

“His ultimate goal?” you said, your audacity surprising even yourself. Without Hiori’s shadow to hide you, you were entirely naked and exposed, but somehow, you found the strength in you to speak up. “What, of being the world’s best soccer player? Have you ever stopped to consider that maybe he doesn’t want that anymore, if he ever did?”

His mother scowled at you. “You are a poison of the worst sort, if you have him doubting what he’s been aiming for since he was young. Stay away from my son. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

She dragged Hiori away before either of you could manage so much as a goodbye. It was the first time since you had met him that you found yourself alone in that field, which suddenly felt so vast that you finally understood why people thought it to be cursed. It had to be, because why else would it have given you Hiori and then taken him away with such a swiftness that it left you reeling?

For a week, you continued to go to the field, just in case he would magically be there, but it was a foregone conclusion that he would not be. Still, you waited, and though the larks sang their songs and the dormice chittered at you sweetly, nothing could set your spirits right when Hiori remained missing.

On the eighth day you spent without him, you didn’t even bother with the field. Instead, you knocked on every door of every house in your small neighborhood, continuing on until the one who answered was the same woman who had stolen Hiori from you. 

She remembered you, her expression turning sour at your appearance, like you had shoved a lemon into her mouth. Shockingly, though, she did not slam the door in your face. She only cleared her throat before speaking in the most abrasive voice you had ever had the misfortune of hearing.

“What is it?” she said.

“Hiori — Yo, is he around? I just want to see him one last time. I’ll leave him alone after that if you refuse to budge, but at least let me say goodbye. I won’t ever distract him again if you give me that chance,” you said. 

“If I gave you even the slightest leeway, you’d pounce upon it, won’t you? I’m not so daft. I’m sure that, if I let you in now, you’d never leave. In the end, though, it’s irrelevant. Yo’s gone,” she said.

“Gone?” you said. “What do you mean?”

“He’s participating in a soccer training camp called Blue Lock,” his mother said. “The way they raise their players is what his father and I been trying to impress upon him from the start, so we’re glad he made the choice himself to go. Now, he can focus on his own self-improvement instead of brief dalliances that would never last.”

Hiori was gone. There was a deep ache in you, and those words were its source, yet nonetheless, for him, you could only muster up pride. He had finally done it. He had flown somewhere free of the burdens his parents placed on him; to be sure, it was defined by the soccer he despised, but nonetheless he had made the decision to do it on his own. It belonged to him, and he had spent so long without anything to his name but a deserted green that you laughed as you sobbed, leaving him behind for good.

A long time passed before you saw him again, though you watched all of his matches on TV. He had become someone different and yet still familiar while in the Blue Lock program — he was sharper now, sharper and quicker, his eyes constantly burning in the same way they had on the day he had left you. Most notably, you thought that that childish love for soccer which he had had and then lost had blossomed again, now into a stable, unshakeable passion which no one, not even his parents, could take from him.

You had probably also changed, though of course it was harder to recognize it in yourself than in another person. But you were not so sparing with your offers of friendship anymore, and neither were you harsh to every boy who approached you. With Hiori gone, the only reservations you had were feeble and pointless, so you stopped saying no quite as often.

Nothing ever came of these school-type romances. Inevitably, you’d walk home and your eyes would stray to the spot where you had spent so much of your childhood with Hiori, whereupon you would pull out your phone and send a formulaic apology message. Sorry, but it’s not working. There’s nothing wrong with you, but I don’t think we’re a good match for each other. Thanks for taking me out. I really appreciate it.

The longer it became, the less frequently you thought about him. He turned into a memory, fuzzy around the edges with nostalgia and tinged with gold. He was someone you claimed to know around those with a more vested interest in soccer, but deep inside, you had accepted that your path had diverged from his a long time ago. You and Hiori weren’t meant to sit beside one another for eternity; he had been there when you needed him, but it was time for you to stand on your own, as he was clearly doing all of the way over in Blue Lock.

“I can’t believe you’ve finally graduated high school!” your mother said, sniffing as she took a million photos of you standing awkwardly, your diploma in your hands, your gown hanging loosely on your body and the pins holding up your cap jabbing into your scalp. “We’re so proud of you, dear.”

“Next stop, Tokyo!” your father said, swiping at the tears which rolled shamelessly down his cheeks.

You had been accepted into the University of Tokyo, and at the end of the summer, you would move into your own apartment, leagues away from everything you had known for your entire life. It was exciting, but it was also terrifying, because the thought of being all alone in the bustling metropolis still made you break into a cold sweat.

Now that you had officially graduated, it all seemed so much more real. Going to Tokyo, attending university, getting a job and supporting yourself…these were not dreams of a distant future but immediate and pressing concerns that weighed on you.

Once you became a university student and then an adult proper, you visited home less and less. You hardly had the time, and anyways there wasn’t much to do in that town, so instead your parents would take trips up to visit you when they missed you terribly — which was often. They would update you on the happenings of your neighbors, and you would take them to your favorite restaurants and attractions, like they were foreign tourists coming to the country for the first time. 

“You know, they finally finished construction on that plot across from our house,” your mother said to you on one such visit, taking a sip of bubble tea to punctuate the outrageous statement. There were streaks of gray in her hair now, and far more lines on her face than there had been when you were younger, but she wore the signs of age with grace and dignity, so that they were weapons instead of faults. 

“You never told me someone bought it,” you said. So that was that, then; the last remnants of your tender friendship with a boy you had not spoken to in years was all but destroyed now. It belonged to another person, who would make their own memories on the land, and the thought of two other people standing where you and Hiori once had caused a lump to arise in your throat. It was as much grief for the idyllic days of your childhood as it was for your former best friend. Both were lost to you now, and both you mourned in equal measure, though you knew no amount of crying would ever bring them back.

Perhaps there had been a window of time in which you might’ve been able to reconnect with Hiori, but the idea hadn’t crossed your mind until it was far too late, and you supposed it must’ve been the same for him. Or maybe he had, upon joining Blue Lock and becoming an international celebrity, forgotten about you entirely. It was a possibility, and no matter how much it stung, it was one you did not resent him for.

“Yes, it was a while ago. Apparently, he lived in the area when he was younger, but he left to pursue some athletic career? Anyways, now that he’s rich, he wanted to invest in some property close to home, so as soon as the previous owner died, he swooped in and bought the entire field up. You know, considering how much money he has, the house is downright quaint in its design,” your mother said, shaking her head. She had a penchant for gossip, and you could not count on two hands the amount of days you both had spent giggling with each other about silly, inconsequential matters. This, though, crossed the line — it wasn’t dumb gossip but legitimate news.

“Athletic career? Do you…do you happen to remember what sport?” you said. 

“No idea,” your mother said. “Why?”

“Was it soccer?” you said. She choked on a pearl of boba. Absently, you leaned over and slapped her on the back to help dislodge it. She coughed and dabbed at her face with a napkin before nodding.

“Ah, yes, that sounds familiar!” she said. “I think that might be it.”

“I’m going to take the next few days off and visit you guys,” you said. It was a spur of the moment decision, but you could afford it, and something told you that what you would find would be far more valuable than another day at your boring, if not well-paying, job.

“Really? That’s wonderful! You’ll love how things have changed. The place has really come to life in the past couple of years,” she said.

The train ride home from Tokyo was just over two hours, and it ran through a familiar countryside, which you watched for the entire journey, smiling slightly whenever you rushed by a landmark you recognized. By the end, however, it seemed every sight was a landmark of some sort — not the nationally important ones, but the type that was personally significant. The many little places you had visited when you were young…even now, you recollected them with startling clarity.

Your father was delighted that you had returned home with your mother, and the whole house smelled like his cooking when you walked in through the front door. He must’ve begun preparing as soon as you had mentioned that you were coming back for a bit, and the grumble of your stomach warned you that you would regret it if you did not hold off on your investigation until after dinner.

You sat in the same chair you had once sat in and ate the same food you had once eaten. It was your favorite as a little girl, and your father served it to you personally, his lower lip trembling as he ladled two portions onto your plate instead of one. Hardly even a month had passed since he had seen you last, but he had always been an emotional man, bawling like a child at every reunion and separation alike.

The sun was setting when you excused yourself, placing your dishes in the sink and ducking outside under the pretense of needing a walk to digest your food. Well, it was only half a pretense — your father truly had fed you until you thought your stomach might split open, as was characteristic of his affection. You really did need to walk around so that your insides could settle, but more importantly than that, you wanted to confirm the theory which had been brewing in your mind since your mother had brought it up.

As she had said, there was a brand new house across from yours. It was nothing like the grand mansion that the original owner must’ve intended to sit on the land; it had a winsome yet unassuming charm to it, and it only took up about half of the field, while the rest of it had been left entirely alone, still green and wild like you recalled it to be. You were sure that if you looked close enough, you would find the dormice and the squirrels and the chipmunks and the larks exactly where you had left them as well, but you did not have the time nor the patience for that at present.

When you climbed the porch steps, you noticed that to the left of the door was a cushioned swing, atop which a tortoiseshell cat was dozing. At the sound of your footsteps, she opened one champagne-colored eye, but she did not seem to regard you as worthy of her attention, for she promptly closed it and returned to her rest.

Your fingers hesitated on the doorbell, resting on the button, too scared to press down. You didn’t know what you had to be afraid of, but for some reason, you were nervous, a pit forming in your stomach as you deliberated over what to do. Before you could make up your mind, the cat meowed at someone in greeting, jumping off of the swing with a light thud.

Spinning around, you saw that the owner of the house was standing at the bottom of the steps, the cat rubbing against his legs as he beamed up at you. Any lingering doubts of yours dissipated into nothingness at the instant you once again made eye contact with Yo Hiori; like a reflex, the corners of your mouth curved upwards in a fond greeting.

Like always, in his hands was a soccer ball, though more prominent than the ball itself was the butterfly which lay on it in repose. Its white wings were thin and quivering, but curiously, when Hiori held the ball out to you, it did not fly off, instead remaining stationary, waiting for you to reach out and take it.

[daizymax]

be that guy | bc (m)

summary: running into you at a club months after the breakup could just be a stroke of pure, dumb luck. or maybe it's the push he needs to try and reconcile with you. whatever happens, chan is up for anything you want tonight.

pairing: bang chan x fem reader

genre: angst, smut

word count: 7k

rating: mature (18+)

warnings & features: ex-boyfriend!chan; profanity; alcohol consumption; graphic sexual content; some angst-y/emotional moments in the smut; pet names; dirty talk including some degradation and praising; vaginal fingering; mentions of squirting; breast & nipple play; clothed sex; protected sex; oral (f receiving); finger sucking; some hair pulling; multiple orgasms; aftercare; no definitive ending oops

author's note: i started to take a fic from my old blog and just rewrite chan into it, but i ended up only keeping the base premise of two exes hooking up again and rewriting the entire thing from scratch. it turned into this. hope you enjoy!

{ click here if you prefer to read on AO3 }

---

“Isn’t that Y/N?”

Chan’s head snaps in the direction Minho nods, and his heart skips a beat when he sees you. When did you get here? How could he have possibly missed you? There might as well be a spotlight shining down for the way his attention locks onto you now.

“She looks great,” Minho goes on, lips on the rim of his vodka soda.

Of all the people to run into tonight.

Of all the fucking people.

He sounds accusatory, but Chan has to know: “Did you know she was going to be here?”

Minho shakes his head innocently. He’s right, though. You look great. As gorgeous as ever. The smile on your face is large and radiant, but deep down, Chan knows it will drop like a lead balloon if you spot him.

And of course you do. Of course you fucking do.

One minute you’re laughing with your friend; the next minute, it’s as if you can sense his heavy stare halfway across the club. Your eyebrows tighten and you turn your head to look straight at him.

The spark is instant, the same as the very first time he saw you years ago. A smile blooms across his face before he even knows it’s happening - it’s just an automatic reaction to you. Subconsciously, he’s still happy to see you.

But then reality comes crashing down, and he remembers he’s not living in that wonderful world where you smile back at him every day anymore. He’s living in the aftermath of breaking your heart. So he waits for your lip to curl in disgust, or for you to roll your eyes and look away, but you do neither. He can’t read your expression, but at least you maintain eye contact with him.

Minho looks to Chan as well, then pats him on the shoulder. He doesn’t have to say anything; his support is felt all the same.

Chan downs the rest of his whiskey, takes a deep breath, and starts pushing through the crowd. By the time he reaches you at the bar, your friend is gone.

“I didn’t mean to scare your friend off,” he says, then winces internally. His first words to you in months and he couldn’t start with a simple ‘hello’ or an honest ‘you look amazing’? Or perhaps a heartfelt ‘I’m sorry’ down on his knees would have been the most appropriate greeting. What the fuck is wrong with him?

A smile returns to your lips, tiny this time. “You give yourself too much credit. I told her to give me a few minutes.”

A few minutes is probably more than he deserves. He has to make the most of them. No more stupid statements.

“I’m-” he starts, but the rest of his words are suffocated. He gulps through the sudden tightness in his throat and tries again. “You’re- You look… so beautiful, Y/N.”

You tilt your head in a gesture he can’t decipher and set your empty glass down on the bar counter.

“Chan…”

When you look at him again, his eyes lock back onto yours. It’s clear you’re also struggling to find words. It’s been months of heartbreak between now and the last time you saw each other, but before that, there were years of laughs, sweet words, daily routines, and gentle touches. He wonders if you’re remembering those times right now, too.

You purse your lips and reach out for his bicep. He unconsciously flexes it under your touch.

“You look great, too.”

“Th-thank you.”

“Want to get out of here?”

---

Getting into his apartment is a messy affair of feet stumbling over each other’s, hands tangled in hair, and lips and teeth clashing repeatedly.

Chan has half a mind to tear your dress apart at the seams to get it off your body, but that train of thought is entirely derailed when you reach beneath it yourself to slip your panties off. When the skimpy fabric drops to your feet, you sling it across his kitchen floor with the toe of your shoe.

He helps you up onto the counter, then slips his hand between your legs to check how wet you are. Surprisingly, your outer lips feel pretty soaked already, but he’s not going to rush to stick his dick inside you and risk hurting you. You seem eager enough to take him right now, but he wants you properly prepped.

If this is truly the last time he gets to be with you like this, he wants everything to go perfectly.

Your walls immediately clamp around the finger he pushes through them. You’re so fucking warm and silky inside, he just has to add another finger right away. You gasp as the intrusion thickens, lips falling apart ever so slightly. Chan slots his mouth over yours to catch the incoming moan. You taste like sugary cocktails. You smell delicious. You sound so fucking horny.

His wrist flexes as he searches for that spot he mapped out inside you long ago. He’s going straight for it because he has no intention of teasing you to an orgasm tonight. He wants you to come just as many times as you want tonight. Anything you want tonight, he’ll do it for you.

G-spot easily located, he rubs fast against it. You’re starting to drip all over his hand and down to the counter below, but he’s not upset about the sticky mess; he’s hard beyond belief over it. His zipper is scraping against his dick, but he ignores the discomfort. It’s tolerable when you’re moaning between his lips like this.

“Chan, please,” you whimper, finally speaking.

He pauses a moment because it’s been a while since he’s done this and his hand is already cramping. It would be a grave mistake to stop like this if you were close to coming, but he still has some time for now.

“I know, Y/N, I’ve got you,” he murmurs against your lips, withdrawing his tongue from your mouth only long enough to get the words out.

He stretches his thumb to flick it across your swollen clit. Your knees twitch at the contact, closing inward for a split second before opening wider, your dress riding higher up your thighs with the motion.

The way you’re giving him such open access to your body is making Chan’s head spin. Maybe his whole world has been turned upside down tonight. The feeling of your cunt around his fingers is keeping him grounded in the lewdest possible way.

He should be grateful to have this much, but he wants to get greedy and pull your tits out over the top of your dress so he can nip and suck on your nipples. The entire garment would probably have to come off first, though, and he’s not about to ruin your current positions to do that yet. Maybe he can give your breasts some due attention during round two. God he hopes you’ll stay for round two.

You’re barely focused on kissing him back anymore, too caught up with your imminent climax. Chan pulls his face away from yours to examine the state of you: shivering, spread open, starting to sweat, panting.

You’re gorgeous, and tonight, he’s all yours again.

“Chan,” you breathe again, hips bucking off the counter, bare skin squeaking on the surface. “Please keep going- fuck…”

“I’m not stopping ‘til you come on my fingers, angel,” he promises. The old pet name slips out before he knows it.

You must really be lost in your pleasure because you don’t call him on it and remind him he lost his right to call you that or any pet name anymore.

Tossing your head back, you moan, “More, please… f-faster…”

He wouldn’t dream of denying you, so he leans in and releases a ball of spit onto your clit. It quickly seeps down around his thumb, over your slit and over the fingers he has inside you, making his work more slippery. He wants you nice and wet and fucked open for his cock, so he drives his fingers faster, just as you asked.

It’s difficult to keep his thumb rotating in steady circles, so he vibrates it back and forth as best he can instead. He’s sure it will work - it has before, at least. He just has to keep his pace consistent. Keep the pressure just right. Maybe you’ll even squirt for him and really soak his hand, for old times’ sake.

Even if he couldn’t feel your pussy constricting tighter and tighter, the way you suddenly grab his flexing wrist is another telltale sign that you’re close to the edge. Your head is still tipped backward, throat exposed and gleaming with sweat.

Chan braces his unoccupied hand against your back, then leans forward and licks a stripe up the column of your neck. The taste of your sweat and the perfume you applied is an addicting mix of salty and sweet on his tongue.

“Oh fuck!” you cry out. “Right there, right there… so fucking close…shit, shit!”

“I know, I know, I can feel it,” he whispers, trailing his words up from your neck and into your ear. He licks the shell of it with the tip of his tongue, and you shiver in his arms. “Let go for me.”

Not only does your pussy close in tighter, but your fingers on his wrist do, too. Your chest is heaving, tits still begging him for attention. He finally gives in and bites one of the mounds through your dress. The fabric probably dulls the sensation a little, but he’s still gentle with his teeth.

When you moan louder, he sucks as much of your clothed breast into his mouth as he can. He can just barely feel your nipple raised against the fabric, but it’s still noticeable enough for him to know where to start flicking his tongue. The sensation seems to trigger your orgasm. Or maybe it’s the desperate act itself that does it for you.

“Oh my god, Chan, fuck!”

Your entire body tenses against the intense shockwave that detonates within you, rendering you motionless for just a few seconds before you start trembling hard from the outburst of pleasure.

“Shit, that’s it, Y/N,” Chan coos, drawing back again to take in your orgasm. A string of spit bridges the distance between your dress and his bottom lip. “Holy fuck, you’re coming so hard for me, I love it.”

Chan can barely continue pumping his fingers through your cunt’s vise grip, so he settles for keeping his fingertips kissed against your g-spot, gently easing the pressure as your intense orgasm wanes.

When your knees start wobbling from the overstimulation, he removes his hand from between your slippery walls, and you let go of him, too. His fingers are glistening, a clear testament to how good he just made you feel. Something nasty in him wants to whip his aching cock out right now and slather it in your juices, but his first instinct is to not let the treat go to waste. So instead, he runs his tongue up the length of his sticky middle finger, letting the salty liquid rest on his tastebuds for a few seconds before swallowing it down.

“Jesus fuck,” you pant, watching the erotic scene unfold before your eyes.

Chan smirks, pleased that you’re pleased, and repeats the action with his index finger, a little obsessed with making sure he doesn’t miss a drop. His entire kitchen smells like sex already and he fucking loves it.

More importantly, you look like sex incarnate, propped up on one hand on his counter, still breathless, still spread open. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this hard in his entire life - no offense to all your previous escapades together.

“Taste so fucking good,” he rumbles straight from his chest, lying his palms flat on the counter to cage you between his arms. “Missed this sweet pussy so much.”

Is the confession too much? If so, you don’t call him out on that, either. He’s not sure how he’s getting away with crossing all these lines tonight, but he’s not going to question it.

“Want to fuck it?” you ask. The deeply seductive look in your eyes makes him gulp.

“Y-Yeah? You’d let me fuck you?”

“If you have a condom, yes,” you clarify.

Chan nods a little too eagerly, but it’s nothing compared to the way his dick jumps in his jeans. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his ticket to fucking you. Honestly, he didn’t expect to actually use the condom with anyone tonight - least of all you - but now he’s glad he chose to be prepared.

You raise an eyebrow at how he practically conjured one out of thin air, then lean forward and put your hands on his chest to get him to step back a little. Slipping off the counter, you step over to his kitchen table - still in your heels - and bend over it.

Only when you look over your shoulder and jerk your head does Chan fully get the picture.

“Holy shit,” he whispers, hurrying to follow.

You giggle as he fumbles with his belt and pants. The way you shake your ass side-to-side in front of him is probably supposed to entice him, but he loses focus and drops the condom packet.

“Where’s the dirty talking monster who used to fuck me dumb?” you tease, still giggling.

Chan laughs back and scoops the packet off the floor. “Can’t be that guy right now,” he says, shoving his pants and boxers down to mid-thigh. The open air feels cool on the wet tip of his dick. “The beautiful girl bent over my kitchen table kind of makes me lose my fucking mind, you know.”

You hum and bite your lip, eyes cast down to his thick erection. He opens the foil, gives his cock a few quick pumps, rolls the condom onto it.

As he takes another step to position himself close behind you, you turn to face forward. Your hands reach back to help him bunch your dress over your ass, though, and he gets the overwhelming urge to twine his fingers with yours. The moment is soon gone when you bring your hands forward again to brace them on the table.

Eyes down, Chan takes the base of his cock and steers the tip between your legs. He rubs it up and down through your slit a few times until it catches on your opening and pokes in shallowly. Slowly, he pushes in another inch, then two more, then all the way to the hilt until his balls are pressed against you.

“Fuck,” you groan, knuckles tightening around the edge of the table. “Forgot how well you stretch me out.”

He can’t help but feel proud of that. “Big enough for you?”

“Mhm.” Your walls clench tighter, and he figures you did it on purpose. “Hard enough, too. Shit you’re hard.”

“So fucking hard for you,” he agrees, eyes rolling back in his head. His hands roam aimlessly over your ass while he gives you both a moment to adjust.

Evidently he stalls for too long, though, because you take it upon yourself to start moving your ass back and forth in the limited space between his hips and the table.

“Come on, baby,” you say. “If you missed this pussy so much, fucking take it.”

He wants to give you everything when you talk like that, so without another second to spare, he draws his cock back until the tip is at the very edge of your opening, then pushes forward to split your walls around it again.

It’s a blessing and a curse, but he can still remember how incredible your wet heat used to feel around his raw cock, back when the two of you had love and trust. It’s been a very long time since he’s had to wear a condom with you - or anyone, for that matter - but he won’t complain. He’s all too aware he’s lucky to be inside you at all.

Besides, you still feel incredible. Your pussy sucks him back in when he pulls back too far, gives way easily when he sinks in deep. The more he pumps himself in and out at this slow, steady pace, the harder he finds it to hold back.

Luckily, you’re of the same mindset. “Harder, baby. Please.”

Using the pet name again is a sure-fire way to get what you want. He may have been the one to break up with you, but before that, he could probably count the number of times he denied you on one hand. You were always irresistible, especially when you asked him so nicely for things.

Chan snaps his hips harder, driving his cock as deep as he can get it with every stroke. He only pulls back a few inches at a time, keeping most of himself sheathed inside your warmth at all times, not willing to part from you any more than he has to.

“Like this?” he asks.

You nod and pant, “Yes. S-So fucking good, Chan.”

“Just want your tight little pussy pounded, don’t you?” Chan goes on, gripping your hips for leverage. He practically yanks you back into him with his next thrust, and you cry out in sheer ecstasy. “Just want a nice, thick cock to stretch your little hole open real good, huh? Fuck you open good and proper?”

“Fuck, yes, baby, yes, yes! Oh my god, Chan…”

That dirty talking monster you always loved is starting to rear its head, but Chan’s pleasure threshold is rapidly reaching its limit. Between the moans pouring out of your mouth, the wet smacking of his balls against your cunt, and the intense friction rubbing across his length, he comes much sooner than expected.

“Oh god, fuck- shit, angel, holy shit, I’m gonna- mmmf- fffuck!”

His cock pulses hard as streams of cum jet up its length, shot after shot unloading into the condom.

The guilt is instant. Apologies and excuses start tumbling from his mouth. “I’m s-so sorry, Y/N,” he mutters, struggling to catch his breath because cum is still squirting out of him. “I’m- I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to come that fast, you just felt so fucking- I mean, you sounded so-”

“It’s fine, Chan,” you laugh, wiggling your ass again. “Consider me flattered.”

He tilts his head and huffs out a breath of laughter himself, then eases his hips backward to pull his cock out of you before it goes too soft. After he’s thrown away the condom, he turns back to you. Part of him fears to find you pulling your panties back on to leave, but he’s excited to find you facing him with your dress still gathered around your hips.

“I can keep going,” he offers straight away, crossing the distance to put his hands on your bare hips. “Let me go down on you, or- or finger you again. Please.”

Instead of answering him right away, you grin and kiss him. When your tongue pokes across the seam of his lips, he happily grants it entry to lick against his own. You can probably taste the remnants of your arousal in his mouth, but you’re not put off by it. In fact, you wind your arms tight around him.

Pulling your face back, you ask, “You want to make me come again, baby?”

Chan nods, eyes flicking up and down between your eyes and lips. He’s more drunk on the taste of you than the whiskey in the club could have ever hoped to achieve.

“You want to eat me out?” you press, studying his face just as intently. “Stick your fingers back inside my pussy?”

He licks his lips. His wilted cock heaves valiantly but isn’t quite ready to rise again.

“Please. Anything.”

He’s prepared to start begging, but you have mercy on him.

Slipping a hand into one of his, you ask him to take you to the bedroom. You start giggling again when he has to practically waddle his way there with his pants falling around his knees. Chan laughs, too, and starts stripping his clothes.

After he yanks his shirt over his head to toss it on the pile on his floor, he catches you checking him out. He resists the urge to make a trite ‘like what you see?’ joke. He made plenty of those when you were together - he knows you like what you see, and he’s flattered it’s still true.

When you peel your eyes off his chest to look at his face again, you cock an eyebrow and smirk. Then, you spin around and ask him to help unzip you. He does so happily, getting just as much of an eyeful of your body after your dress spills to a heap at your feet. You kick it away just like you’d done with your panties earlier, then off go the heels, one after the other. Once you’re entirely nude, you step wordlessly over to his bed and settle yourself on top of it.

“Come here,” you beckon, voice soft.

Chan obeys, coming over to drape his naked body over yours. You pull him into another kiss, and he tries to keep most of his weight off you, but the feeling of your warm, bare skin against his is something he’s missed desperately.

He tilts his face the other way and moans into your mouth. His hand comes up to cup your cheek at almost the same moment you do the same to him. You’re smiling into the kisses now, and his heart aches with the knowledge that this isn’t a daily occurrence anymore.

“Y/N…” he whispers, but he isn’t sure what he wants to say exactly.

Your smile fades, and he knows you can tell there is something more than lust in his head right now; he can see it in your eyes that you understand him. Even so, you refuse to let your walls down, and he can’t say he blames you. He’s probably the reason they’re there to begin with.

“You’re so fucking hot, Chan,” you say out of the blue, steering the conversation to more comfortable territory. “Touch me again.”

He can’t deny you.

If this is all he’s good for tonight, he’s grateful.

Swallowing hard, Chan slides down your body to bring his face level with your chest. One hand goes to pinch your left nipple, the other to cup your right tit and bring that nipple into his wet mouth. You gasp at the first flick of his tongue, so he repeats the motion about a dozen more times before dragging his face tongue-first across to your other tit. When he bites down on the pebbled bud, your back arches off the bed.

“Oh, god,” you whisper, twisting a hand into his hair.

He reciprocates the gesture by slipping an arm behind your back and holding your skin tight. You’re so warm and soft, so sweet-smelling and beautiful…

Focus. Just make her come, as many times as she wants.

Be that guy again.

Even if it's just for tonight.

Do it just for her.

With his mind refocused and his dick beginning to fill out again, he looks up at your face and mutters, “I’ll give you whatever you want, Y/N.” He goes back to your other nipple, traps it between his teeth and chews it with careful nips, enough for you to feel it, but not cause you any pain. “Want to come on my tongue or my cock?”

“Cock, please,” you answer without hesitation.

He’s surprised with your choice given his poor performance earlier. He’s also surprised by how sweetly you say please this time. So sweet and beautiful, truly worthy of your favorite pet name…

Stop it. Get to it already.

“You sure you don’t want both, angel?”

Not waiting for an answer, he scoots further down your body until he’s faced with your sweet pussy. You’re still soaking wet - he can see your arousal shining all along your folds. Reaching down, he gathers your legs and pushes them up, knees toward your chest.

“Chan,” you whine. He can feel your eyes watching him move his face closer between your hips. “Not your mouth.”

He takes the heady scent of your arousal deep into his lungs with a long inhale.

“Why not? You know I could make you come so hard with my tongue. Suck on your clit real slow, take my time licking you clean, hm? Maybe pump my fingers carefully enough to make you squirt?”

Dipping his face even closer, he glides his tongue up the length of your slit. Your arousal tastes even better when he’s licking it straight from your center, so he flattens his tongue to get a wider lick, greedy to smother his tastebuds in your essence.

Total, there are probably entire days of his life that were spent with his face between your legs, learning your ins and outs, all the things that make you shiver uncontrollably and scream his name. He learned how to get you to come twice in a row, and when to ease off to bring your orgasm to a satisfying finish without building too far into another one.

You gave it all back in kind. So often eager to get on your knees for him, swallowing his entire cock down your throat, heeding his advice when he said you could tug his balls even harder, him trusting you to put your hands on his neck and squeeze just tight enough to peak his climax that little bit higher.

Presently, you writhe against his mattress under the torment of his tongue. He’s still taking his time licking through your folds, swiping half-handedly over your clit, not giving it nearly enough attention to take your next orgasm seriously.

Straightening his back, Chan gazes down at your naked form, once again admiring the sight. You gaze back steadily.

“Still want my cock?” he asks, reaching to take the throbbing appendage in his fist and stroke a few dewy drops of precum out. “Just my cock? You sure?”

You don’t answer him right away. Instead, you push backward out of his hold, get to your knees directly in front of him, and press your palms flat against the wide planes of his chest. He can feel his own heartbeat reverberate from behind his chest plate, off your hand, back to his burning skin.

“You’re not going to make me beg, are you?” you say, not answering him at all.

Chan gulps. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Just want to hear you say it again.”

He’s met with a smirk and a gentle nudge from you this time. Only once he’s sitting flat, legs extended in front of him on his mattress with you straddled across his lap, do you speak again.

“Want your cock, baby,” you say, already reaching for his bedside drawer to fish out another condom. It’s open and on him in no time. “Just your cock.”

“It’s yours,” Chan whispers back.

There’s a split second of hesitation as you’re shifting to guide him back inside you. Perhaps the words crossed another line. He meant them, though.

If you’re bothered by his honesty, you don’t voice it.

With a slight drop of your hips, his cockhead slips smoothly back into your wet warmth, then the rest of his thick length, until your lap is pressed flush against his, pelvises locked tight.

Chan walks his fingertips up your spine until his palms come to rest firmly against your shoulder blades. You oblige his body language and lean in closer. Again, you hesitate for a short moment, letting something unspoken and unfinished hang suspended in the small space between your face and his for just a few broken heartbeats before closing the distance.

Gasps on both sides come when you make that first ascent back up his rigid length only to slam right back down. Running his tongue along yours becomes an afterthought to keeping your hips moving against him.

“That’s it, angel,” he murmurs into your mouth. “Ride it- mmph, fuck- ride it just like that.”

“Chan…”

Two of his fingers come to rest against your lips, dip past your teeth.

“Keep fucking me, Y/N. Don’t stop fucking me,” he urges.

Your lips close around his fingers, tongue swirling a little looser than your hips. Once they’re well lubricated with your spit, Chan draws them back to stuff them down below where he’s joined with you. With a little prodding, he finds your engorged clit and gets to work unraveling you again.

However, you seem to have other plans. Smacking his fingers away, your other hand takes his chin.

“I said I want your cock, not your fingers,” you say, the low pitch of your voice insanely sexy.

You take the offending fingers and watch as he watches you bring them back into your mouth to suck on them more earnestly than before. His jaw drops as much as your grip will allow, and his dick twitches hard between your walls.

“Need to make you come. Can’t do it with just my dick,” Chan reasons.

Your movements are already getting the better of him. The way you’re bouncing in his lap is knocking the breath from his lungs, coiling his muscles into springs. But he can’t tip over the edge without you again. He won’t, god damn it.

Hand closed around his wrist, you drag his fingers off your tongue and out of your mouth.

“Can’t you?” you taunt, eyebrow quirked.

You know damn well he can’t. He never could. Sure, he’s been inside you for plenty of your orgasms, but he always had to enlist the help of his fingers or a vibrator to stimulate your clit at the same time. Grinding your clit into his pelvic bone never yielded the same results, and he couldn’t fuck your g-spot for long enough or consistently enough to get you to come that way, either. Not without coming first.

Chan whimpers and fixes you with a helpless stare which you must find amusing because you chuckle.

“Sorry, baby,” you say, not sounding particularly apologetic. “Didn’t mean to hurt your pride.”

A blush bleeds from the tips of his ears all the way down to his chest.

“Y/N, please…”

Smiling gently, you stop your bouncing and let go of both his wrist and his face to wind your arms behind his neck. His hands instinctively settle on your waist in turn.

“Feel like I could come just looking at you right now.” Your eyes shake back and forth, looking between each of his. “No one has ever made me come the way you always did.”

He starts to respond to your flattery, but his thought evaporates when you lift all the way off his aching cock then sit back down on one of his thighs, instantly smearing it with your arousal.

“You were always a selfless lover, Chan,” you continue, cupping the nape of his neck in both hands, thumbs resting against his throat. Surely you can feel the spike in his heartbeat. “I adored that about you. You always made my pleasure yours. But I’ve told you, my pleasure doesn’t always involve orgasming. Sometimes I just wanted to see you get lost in your own pleasure. Get a little selfish.”

Chastely, you kiss his cheek, then pull back to fix him in your stare again.

“So fuck me again, baby,” you purr. “And don’t worry if you come fast this time.”

With that invitation extended, you turn over onto your hands and knees.

Chan gravitates to you, getting in position behind you within seconds, hands on your hips to yank them a little higher. You hum in approval of his assertive action and spread your knees a little further apart.

Without warning, he takes his cock - the condom thoroughly coated in your juices - in hand and shoves it back into your cunt, all the way up to his balls.

“Always want you to come when you’re with me,” he rasps, not bothering to use past tense. “Want to show you a good time every time. But if you say that means you want me to get a bit selfish, so be it.”

Grip tight on your body, he draws his hips back until his tip nearly falls from your pussy, then yanks you back onto him as he pushes forward again. He must hit the right spot on the first stroke because your back trembles and bows inward.

“Yes, Chan, fuck! Right there- please-”

He smirks. “God, you really do just want my cock, don’t you, sweetheart? It’s right here.” He drags it back, slots it in deep.

Your fingers tighten in his sheets. “Keep fucking me, baby. And k-keep talking.”

He picks up the pace, abandoning his full strokes in favor of shorter, deeper ones again. “Since you want me to be selfish, does that mean you just want me to use you tonight? Want to pretend you’re just my tight little fleshlight? Huh?”

The dirty-talking monster is yawning back to life. The flesh of your ass ripples against the onslaught of his smacking hips. He’d be driving you face-first up his mattress if he wasn’t pulling you back onto him.

“Yes, fuck,” you moan, pussy closing in ever tighter around his pistoning dick.

Chan swears under his breath and licks his lips, eyes fixed to where his rock hard cock disappears just below the jiggling globes of your ass. He can’t believe you’re letting him use you this way. Talk to you this way. It was only because you trusted him so much that you ever let him do something like this in the first place. Evidently you still do. It’s oddly touching.

He wants to assure you you’re way more to him than just a pretty cock sleeve, even now, in the ‘after’ part of your relationship, but that’s not what the dirty talking monster would say.

Still, he has to know you’ll tell him if he goes too far.

“Want to give me a safe word, Y/N?” Chan asks, reaching out to give your shoulder a tender squeeze.

“Shoelace,” you respond quicker than expected.

He hums in approval over your answer, brings his veiny hand to caress your cheek for a fleeting moment, circles that arm under your tits to lift your back into his chest. His cock is still stuffed tight inside you; the pause in his thrusts is only temporary.

Lips to your ear, he whispers, “Okay, angel. Here you go,” and slams himself hard into your cunt. “Just want to sit here on your knees while I drill my fat cock into you over and over? That’s fine. Want me to call you a fucking slut for it? I’ll do that for you.”

Because I fucking love you.

You whimper and writhe in his arms, face swiveling until your nose brushes across his. He gladly lets you recapture his lips, lets your tongue swarm back into his mouth.

He rebuilds his pace, still opting for quick, short ruts into your pussy to keep himself stuffed as deep as possible. Your panting breaths mingle with his as he works up the pleasure. Before long, you’re moaning too loudly on the end of his pumping dick to focus on kissing him anymore, but that just gives him the opportunity to continue talking.

“Do you like the way I’m f-fucking you?” Chan whispers, deep voice cracking. He drags his hand from below your tits and latches onto one, getting a rough handful. When he pinches your nipple, your body responds instantly. “Like the way I’m touching you? Mmm, I think you do, angel. This pussy is clenching me so goddamn tight. You’re such a good little cock sleeve for me.”

He’s not sure if you can hear everything he’s saying over the loud slaps of his pelvis hitting your backside, but you whine in response, head lolling to the side. His eyes rake from your bare neck down to your sweaty cleavage. He twists your nipple one way, then the other, and moves on to the other one.

“Can’t believe you didn’t want me to eat you out.” Chan trails wet kisses along your shoulder, squeezes your breast tight, keeps fucking up into you. “Would’ve treated this sweet pussy so well. Instead, you want me to be selfish. Want me to come without you. But that’s fine. Toys don’t get to come, anyway. Isn’t that right?”

You hiss when he bites down on your shoulder. Some motion below draws his attention - your hand dipping between your legs. He feels your fingertips brush against his moving shaft, the only inch or so of it pushing in and out. When your fingers move away from his cock but your arm remains in place, he figures you’re playing with your clit instead.

“Tsk, tsk.” He smiles. “So you do want to come.”

You groan but don’t say anything. You've told him what you’ll say if he goes too far with his dirty talk, but the word doesn’t leave your lips.

“That’s fine, angel. You can come whenever you want. Just make sure you squeeze my cock extra tight when you do it.”

One hand still clutching your tit, he hugs his other strong arm around your hips, redistributes his weight on his knees, and goes in even faster. Your body rattles in his hold from how hard and fast he’s pounding you, practically vibrating. The sweat on his chest smears against your back.

The fingers not playing with your clit come up to curl in the hair at the nape of Chan’s neck. “Oh my god, I’m so f-fucking close,” you huff, tugging his hair.

“Already?”

No sooner does your head jerk in a shaky nod than your cunt clamps hard on his dick. Chan gasps, the sensation catching him totally off guard for a second, but when he fully registers what’s happening, he chuckles wickedly. Your tense body twitches and shakes in his hold as your orgasm rips through it. He embraces you tighter to keep you steady.

“Shit, baby, where the fuck did that come from, huh?” he laughs, utterly delighted. “Just love this dick so much, don’t you? Couldn’t help but come on it, could you, you little slut? Does it feel good?”

You hum. Or maybe it’s a grunt. Your voice is pinched and strained when you say, “So so fucking good. Please c-come with me, baby, come with me now…”

“Keep squeezing me and I will, angel. Squeeze my cum out, come on.”

As your orgasm drops off, the pulsing of your pussy weakens, but it’s more than enough to draw out Chan’s own orgasm.

“That’s it- oh fuck, angel, that’s it, please- please, please, fuck-fuck-fuck- ungh!”

Only a few more resounding claps of his hips against your ass before he comes hard, groaning loudly at the moment of his brutal second release. The condom catches shot after shot of the translucent cum his throbbing cock is ejaculating. He can vaguely hear you murmuring sweet nothings, your lips ghosting over his cheek, but his heartbeat is so damn loud in his eardrums, his orgasm feels too fucking good.

As soon as his senses return to him, he pulls his cock from your over-sensitive pussy. Your spent body slumps forward against the mattress, too exhausted to remain upright without the help of his arms.

Chan is off the bed to trash the condom and back at your side in mere seconds, gathering your warm, sweaty body against his as he lies beside you, facing you.

“That was so good, Y/N,” he murmurs, fussing over the hair sticking to your face. Your eyes are a bit glazed. He tries not to panic. “Hey, you did so well, sweet angel. Stay with me, baby, please don’t fall asleep. I’m right here. Look at me.”

He takes your hand and places it on his cheek, and to his relief, it doesn’t slip away; you hold his face with your own strength.

“I’m fine, Chan,” you say, a smile dawning over your entire face, eyes already refocused.

He starts reiterating that you’re not just a cock sleeve to him, not a toy, not a slut, at least not in a negative way, but you giggle and silence him with a kiss.

“I know, baby, I know,” you assure him. Your other arm is trapped somewhere between your bodies and the mattress, but you manage to free it so you can cup his face with both hands. “You did great, too. You were perfect. I felt safe with you, don’t worry. I feel safe.”

It’s been so long since he’s had you in his bed recovering from a round of intense sex, he’s not sure what to do next. The ensuing silence doesn’t feel awkward, though. He lets you gently rake your fingernails across his scalp, and he returns the gentle gesture with slow swipes of his thumb back and forth across your cheek.

Eventually, the tranquil moment is broken when you draw in a deep breath and haul yourself to a sitting position at the foot of his bed.

Chan isn’t sure he can stand a goodbye from you right now, temporary or permanent. The thought that he made a mistake by breaking up with you is blaring in neon lights in his head. If there’s anything he can do to at least convince you to stay the night with him, he will.

And if, in the morning, there’s anything he can do to convince you how much of a fool he was for ending a good thing, he’ll do his damnedest.

Worst case scenario, his life will return to the way it was just a few hours ago.

Best case scenario, he could be on his way to being your boyfriend again.

First, he sits up beside you.

Second, he looks into your eyes.

Finally, he opens his mouth.

---

if you enjoyed, please consider re-blogging and/or leaving me some feedback. take care! ♡

copyright © 2023 by daizymax. all rights reserved. back to masterlist

[aswaki]

i could take matthew no prep (i am half his size and delusional)

- 🐠

aahh stop because im tiny (its so weird to be saying this) so i think about this a lot too. imagine taking him in full and raw as well!!! (but safe sex!!! i'm on pills!!!) matthew would so fucking cocky if he knows you want to take him on, no prep, raw, and all. he likes knowing you're shorter than he was since he was usually the small guy in the group. he'd be so obsessed when showing off his strength and skills with you. (and you love it!)

seok matthew x reader | flashfic | explicit (minors dni)

contains: fem!reader, brat!reader, dom!matthew, size difference (reader mentioned being smaller/shorter), no prep, rough sex, pet names ("pretty girl", "good girl", "brat")

“i promise, i can take it!” you exclaimed, fluttering your lashes. they moved as if they were butterfly wings trying to impress a potential mate. sensual, alluring, pretty.

“i need you.” you were so horny. you could take anything. you’d literally do anything.

matthew was concerned at first since you were pleading to go straight at it— to just have his dick inside you —but the incessant begging dissolved all traces of it. 

“you don’t need anything— you want it.” his hand circled your wrist to stop you as you made an attempt to reach the band of his sweatpants. you whimpered when he touched you.

“oh no, pretty girl, you don’t get to touch.” he continued to speak. the tone of his voice was so low that it made your insides flip. your gazes met. you could see his gaze darkening. on matthew’s end, he could see excitement swirling in your eyes as he got rough with you.

“please,” that was all you could say before matthew suddenly pushed you to the bed. given your size and his strength, it made this easy to do. things happened so fast that it amazed you that you didn’t get a whiplash.

the pillows cushioned your fall. his body loomed over you while you were laying down. his boxers were discarded quickly as his sweats were. it revealed how his erection stood, almost angrily. your mouth almost watered at the sight. you wanted to grab it, to feel his intimidating cock like you were taming it.

“no touching. only i get to feel you,” matthew said like he could read your mind. before you knew it, your dress was bunched up to your waist. your damp panties were exposed to him. you would be embarrassed by how wet you were but your arousal didn’t make you give a fuck about anything at the moment.

matthew used his teeth to drag your panties. the feel of his lips and teeth bloomed goosebumps across the flesh it trailed down. noises left your mouth as the cool air hit your pussy. you bucked your hips at the sensations— he wasn’t even inside of you.

his hand finally did get to touch you as he gripped your hip. he lined himself to your entrance and thrusted his cock in. his lips parted, enjoying how good it felt to be in you.

your whines got worse as his girth stretched you out with no warning or whatsoever.

“take it like a good girl and stop whining,” he warned you as he pushed his entire length in. your walls quickly clamped around his cock. tears threatened to spill out of your eyes. you didn’t want them to fall. you had to hold on to the end of your promise (“i can take it!”).

by now you should have been accustomed to his size but it’s been a while since you’ve done this and he was just so big. his name left your lips repeatedly like an incantation so that your tightness would be malleable to his girth.

before you closed your eyes, you could see matthew smirking down at you. cockiness written on his face as he moved inside of you.

“what happened, huh, pretty girl? you wanted this so bad five minutes ago.” his words were kind but his tone held a sneer to it.

you reached out to touch his chest— to relish his closeness? to make him stop? you didn’t know. all you knew was that you wanted to touch him so you did.

want. want. want. it was all about your wants.

“what do you not understand, brat? i said- no touching,” matthew said gruffly. each word was punctuated with sharp, brutal thrusts. you gasped when he grabbed your wrists. you wriggled as he placed your hands above you, trying to be free from his hold.

“no m-” your words were drowned out by your moans as pleasure washed over you. matthew's hand left your hip. instead, he let his free digit be in contact with your clit. his finger circled it as his cock slid inside of you. your body shivered.

the both of you knew that you actually liked him being rough with you; how he can manhandle you with ease. your faux defiance were futile to his ears.

“you said you could take it, so prove it.”

[littlejuicebox]

Hello Gina! Been loving your stories a lot specially Astarion talks in his sleep and My Sun, My Moon 1&2! which is why I wanna try if you can do a one shot of their 1st anniversary of marriage! 🤭 just wondering how it was for them, usually they say the 1st year is the toughest one but i wanna see how you see it 🤭 Many thanks!! i look forward to more stories!

Hello, my friend! <3

I really love this prompt! Marriage is hard and Astarion has his quirks that would def make him frustrating to Tav! Love isn't always sunshine and rainbows.

I took this in a slightly different direction, it's a reflection on their first major argument! Hope you like it. <3

Warnings/Tags: not edited or beta read / In-game spoilers, fluff/angst w comfort / married people having an argument / this follows my HC fics for redemption Astarion x Tav but I'm pretty sure it can be read as a OneShot

Word Count: 1.7K

-----

Astarion cannot concentrate on the blasted contract in front of him any longer. The delivery should have been here by now.

He only had a few hours before you returned from the Upper City and his entire plan for your first anniversary would be shot if the florists didn’t hurry the hells up.

“You said they would arrive by midday and now it’s nearly teatime, Pascal!” Astarion snaps at his steward, a middle-aged human with wide set eyes and a scar running horizontally along his nose bridge.

Pascal sits on the far end of Astarion’s office, reviewing a ledger. He slowly raises his eyes from the document to meet the petulant visage of his employer.

“That is what the florist told me, my Lord. But it is quite a large order. Fifty night-blooming plants and shrubs would likely take several carts, sir. It’s certainly possible they’ve run into delays along the way.” Pascal responds, his voice gentle but unbothered, as if he’s grown used to placating the moods of the vampire over the past year.

Astarion simply huffs in response, “We did not pay a premium for those ingrates to simply—“

He stops as his highly acute hearing catches the sound of wheels turning along the manor’s pebbled drive. By the raucous sound of it, there are several wagons making their way towards the home's entrance.

“Pascal, they're here. I will go greet them; round up the other servants and have them stop what they’re doing immediately. We will need all hands to make up for lost time.” Astarion says as he tosses the contract he’d been reviewing, leaving it with a large stack of papers scattered across his desk.

Several of those papers had the remnants of ink splotches and blood splatters from an hours-long drafting session he’d done on a business proposal the day prior. The goblet he'd been drinking from yesterday, dirtied with now-dried blood, sits haphazardly in the corner of the desk.

Astarion struggled to contain his natural propensity toward sloppiness. His mind often worked far too quickly for him to slow down and pay attention to trivial things like bloodstains and spilled ink.

However, after multiple gentle chastisements and one angry explosion from you, he’d managed to curb his disorganization to his office, which you accepted. The argument you two had, prior to coming to this arrangement, had truly terrified him.

The pale elf makes sure to grab the goblet and place it out in the foyer for the maid to grab; she had never been allowed to enter the master bedchambers or his office, for privacy. You two were responsible for keeping those areas tidy. Astarion did... almost nothing to his office, while you kept everything pristine in the bedroom.

Except for that one time before the argument. His mind wanders as he exits the office, reflecting on the memory that keeps him cleaning up his goblets.

-----

He could tell by your voice alone that you were angry. Furious, in fact. The sound ripped him away from the contractor agreement he'd been reviewing.

“Astarion! How many times do I have to ask you to not leave cups of blood in the bedchambers!” Your voice came booming down the hallway before you burst into the office, causing the door to slam into the wall with a loud thud. His eyes caught sight of the angry red splotches on your face, and then trailed down to your wedding dress, clutched in your shaking hand.

There was a large, crimson bloodstain smattered along the train. He almost fainted at the sight.

So many hours of his own work. Drenched in blood.

“I’d laid this out for the servants to frame today, and Scratch ran into the bedroom and knocked the goblet of blood — that you left there, completely full, by the way — off your nightstand and onto the dress!” You were waving the grown vehemently as you spoke, voice cracking toward the end.

Oh, his little love was infuriated. His gut sank at the thought.

The anger in your voice sounded entirely foreign, it was rare for you to speak in such a manner to anyone. But towards him? Never. You always spoke to him in soft, adoring tones and little whispers. The only time you truly raised your voice had been in bed, and he rather liked it then.

But this? He did not like this one bit. It made his undead heart thrum with anxiety.

“My love, I—“ He begins, his voice honeyed and smooth in the usual tone he used to appease you, but you cut him off.

“I’m sick of your excuses and your words, Astarion! I’m sick of cleaning up after you! I have asked you more than once to not bring blood into the bedroom and you've deliberately ignored me. And the one time I don’t remove the damned goblet from the bedchamber look what happened! I can’t keep—“

You were crying by then. Large, angry tears rolling in streams down your face as you swiped angrily at your eyes. That dress, and the hours of work he'd put into it, had been a testimony of his love to you. His actions had made your heart soar; seeing the gown ruined caused your heart to break entirely.

And Astarion's heart almost broke at the sight of his little love so distraught, but he had no words nor actions to soothe you.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath; he watched as the patches of red faded from your cheeks. When you opened them, the sight scared him and when you spoke, he was terrified.

Your face was blank, unreadable. Your tone was resigned. In that moment, in the absence of any discernible emotion, he felt certain you were going to leave him.

Eight months into a marriage and he was already failing; he knew he hadn't been cut out for this.

“I am very patient with you, Astarion. We both knew this wouldn’t be easy… with well, everything. Your condition, navigating my newfound fame, easing back into normalcy when we both have our baggage... but I chose this. I chose you. I choose you every day. Over and over. A hundred times a day."

You paused, and your eyes flicked between his, searching for something.

“I just wish I felt like you were still choosing me, too.”

And then you were gone. You left the dress crumpled on the floor as you turned and walked away.

As he moved from his desk to pick the garment up from the ground, he heard you call for Scratch and exit the front door. The sun was out, he couldn't follow you. And even if he did, there would be nothing he could say to placate you. He needed to give you time and space and wait for you to come to him; it was something he’d learned over the past eight months. Although he hated it.

So, he stayed in his office, trying to work, and failing at that, too.

After a few more hours, it was time to head to bed. When he entered your shared bedroom, he realized the goblet you'd spoken about had splattered over the sheets and onto the carpet, as well. He removed the goblet from the bedroom and placed it in the foyer; and then he changed the sheets, which you usually did. He waited for you to come to bed, but you never showed. Hadn’t he given you enough time by now?

Eventually he traveled to the guest chambers, certain you must be there sulking, and when he attempted to enter the room, the door was locked. He knocked tentatively on the door.

"Tav, darling--"

"No. And don't you dare pick the lock, Astarion."

"Tav, my sweet, please--"

"Please, Astarion. Please just leave me alone."

He wanted to pick the lock. Wanted to break down the door. Wanted to hold you in his arms and whisper apologies in your ear until you forgave him. But you always told him that his actions spoke louder than his words; honeyed lamentations would not work on you. Another thing he’d learned this past eight months.

And then he thought of the dress, which he'd left draped across the sofa in his office.

While you slept, Astarion set to work. He could have outsourced the task, sure... but truthfully, he did not trust anyone else with the fine detailing work he had spent several hours doing with his own hands. He'd created the masterpiece himself, after all, so perhaps it was best he restores it himself.

He worked gently, and for several hours, scrubbing the blood out of the fine fabric. His time with Cazador had taught him many things, and unfortunately a skill he used more often than he liked happened to be removing bloodstains from nearly any fabric.

By the time the gown was restored, his hands were raw from hours immersed in the harsh combination of soaps, chemicals, and water. It was past noon when he finished; you had certainly risen by now, but you hadn't come looking for him.

Astarion asked Pascal to place the gown in the sunroom to dry and then resigned himself to his office, back to reviewing contracts.

It was several hours later when you knocked on the office door, eyes downcast and face remorseful.

He didn't say anything, he just simply opened his arms and you crossed into the office before folding yourself in his lap. A few moments of quiet passed between you.

"I saw what you did to the dress. It must have taken hours... thank you." You finally whispered as your face nestled into the side of his neck. Your hot breath tickled, and he hummed in acknowledgement.

"It did, darling. And the skin on my hands certainly is not happy about it," He starts, and your hand comes to his as you bring it closer to your face, examining the uncharacteristically cracked knuckles and reddened flesh, "But you are worth the effort. And more. I'm sorry about the cups, my love.”

You placed a kiss on his chapped knuckle. An acceptance of the apology. And then you turned to face him and pressed a soft, tentative peck on his lips that made his entire body melt into you. Before long you two wound up on the floor of his office, and he made sure to use his actions to ensure you knew just how much he cared about you. How much he chose you.

And every day since then, he'd been certain to no longer bring goblets in the bedroom, and always leave them sitting in the foyer for the maid regardless of what room he was in. A tiny daily action signifying his love for you.

[allwaswell16]

A One Direction fic rec of hurt/comfort fics as requested in this ask. This rec is a part 2, you can find part 1 here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

❤️‍🩹 This Multiplicity of Powers by @helloamhere

(E, 149k, superheroes) Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside. But this isn’t that universe. //an X-Men AU.

❤️‍🩹 another dream but always you by you_explode / @nobodymoves

(M, 66k, famous/not famous) Harry is a Dreamwalker; he has the ability to visit people in their dreams and help put them on the right path. He's assigned to Louis, who's struggling after the break-up of his band.

❤️‍🩹 saw some things on the other side by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 61k, time travel) Louis’ plan doesn’t take into account the fact that instead of writing murder mysteries, he will find himself in one.

❤️‍🩹 Chasing, Searching, Dreaming by @parmahamlarrie

(E, 46k, soulmates) Harry has known who his soulmate is since he was twenty years old, and ever since, he has been waiting for Louis to be ready for him. 

❤️‍🩹 Train Tracks and Porcelain by @jaerie

(E, 41k, historical circus au) Shadows were forming into people and things and, there in the middle of it, Louis watched the humongous head of an elephant emerge from a box car right in front of his eyes. Or a Water For Elephants inspired AU

❤️‍🩹 Caves End by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 39k, farm) the one where Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

❤️‍🩹 My Other Half Was You by @lululawrence

(NR, 35k, acrobat Louis) By the age of 30, Louis' entire life trajectory had changed from what he'd thought it would be. He moved back to the town he grew up in and did his best to pull himself and his life back together again.

❤️‍🩹 All Out of Love by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(G, 32k, cupid au) While on a mission to match Liam and Zayn, the distraction comes in the shape of Louis Tomlinson – an overworked and underloved man trying way too hard to do everything himself.

❤️‍🩹 Until the Pearls Get Lost by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(M, 25k, omegaverse) Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers.

❤️‍🩹 Scarred by @allwaswell16

(E, 23k, omegaverse) As a male omega, Louis has learned to live with disappointment and rejection, but he dreams of the day he finds his soulmate. When Harry inadvertently rejects him as his soulmate, Harry has no idea he's doomed Louis to a slow, painful death.

❤️‍🩹 what's left of my halo's black by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(E, 22k, fwb) A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for.

❤️‍🩹 some evening in springtime by delsicle / @eeveedel

(M, 20k, age difference) Fresh out of veterinary school, Louis moves to a sleepy small town in Texas to take over the local animal clinic. But his new life is quickly interrupted by a middle aged rancher with a bad leg and a mysterious past, who really needs Louis's yoga skills.

❤️‍🩹 Safe place to hide us away by @lunarheslwt

(T, 12k, omegaverse) weighed down by everyday stress, alpha Harry takes up nesting in secret. It takes a load of missing clothes and unravelling lies for him to realise that his omega would love and accept him no matter what.

❤️‍🩹 Close Enough to Touch by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(M, 11k, tour au) Louis definitely did not need a masseuse on tour. Not even if that masseuse turned out to be gorgeous, kind, and lovely.

❤️‍🩹 I Kinda Need A Hero (Is It You) by @fallinglikethis

(NR, 5k, flower shop) Louis is a barista who’s had his heart broken. Harry is the boy who wants to put the pieces back together.

❤️‍🩹 Together We're the Greatest by @hellolovers13

(E, 4k, exes) It's not the first time Louis has to stitch Harry back together, but Louis will make sure it is the last.

❤️‍🩹 The Cowboy In Us All by @taggiecb

(G, 3k, famous/famous) When the real pain of trouble in their relationship gets to be too much they turn to the one thing that they can control; the messages in the songs they sing onstage.

❤️‍🩹 Remember Me (When I'm With You) by liberty_barnes / @liberty-barnes

(T, 1k, fallen angel Louis) the one where Louis was cast out and Harry just wants him to be happy.

- Rare Pairs -

❤️‍🩹 your crimes are quiet, my love by lightswoodmagic / @lightwoodsmagic

(E, 97k, Zayn/Liam) A darker Miss Congeniality AU that follows Zayn and Liam, MI5 agents, partners since training and best friends, as they race to stop a serial killer. 

❤️‍🩹 a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

[genericpuff]

ok i know it's a webtoon you can read online for free but Rachel/Inklore really did just spoil every twist and plot beat within the plot summary of volume 8 huh

this is literally the next volume they just announced and it's going to be releasing after LO goes behind daily pass and yet they're not even trying to keep things even somewhat interesting for the trad pub market that they're trying to expand through, jesus christ lmao this is yet another lesson in "what not to do" courtesy of LO 💀

your plot summary is supposed to be a HOOK. NOT A WHOLE ASS SYNOPSIS THAT GIVES AWAY EVERY TWIST AND PLOT BEAT. By comparison, LO's Volume 8 "summary" isn't a plot summary, it's a goddamned Cliff's Notes 😭 like ... this feels like they accidentally included the extended pitch notes in the summary, like is there seriously not a single person at Random House going "um, isn't this a little too much?"

I'm not even joking when I say you can deadass just read this summary and understand the gist of the S2 finale. The actual episodes do not contain anything else of substance beyond this summary. All the 'twists' are given away, and anything else that might be 'interesting' is literally dropped or forgotten about by the end of S2 anyways so it winds up not mattering (cough Eris cough)

Literally the first two paragraphs would have sufficed, with the additional removal of the Apollo lineage reveal because again, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TWIST. IT'S A DUMB TWIST, BUT IT'S STILL WRITTEN AS A TWIST LMAO everything in that third paragraph and beyond is WAY TOO MUCH and it's not even making any efforts in its prose to pull you in with enticing set-up, it's just clinically saying "this happens and then this happens and then this happens".

Compare it to the Volume 1 description, it's like night and day:

"Persephone, young goddess of spring, is new to Olympus. Her mother, Demeter, has raised her in the mortal realm, but after Persephone promises to train as a sacred virgin, she’s allowed to live in the fast-moving, glamorous world of the gods. When her roommate, Artemis, takes her to a party, her entire life changes: she ends up meeting Hades and feels an immediate spark with the charming yet misunderstood ruler of the Underworld. Now Persephone must navigate the confusing politics and relationships that rule Olympus, while also figuring out her own place—and her own power."

Short, sweet, to the point, gives us enough setup to understand what we're going into but not enough details to spoil the whole frigging thing, and it ends perfectly with a hook that gets you interested in both Persephone and Hades as characters.

Y'know what, Inklore, here's a freebie on me, for Volume 8:

"Court is in session, the witnesses have spoken, and now it's Persephone's turn to take the stand. Torn between her loyalty to her mother, Demeter, and her blooming love for Hades, Persephone reveals to all her true motives for the Underworld - but shocking revelations are brought to light by the scheming Apollo that may determine Zeus' verdict and Persephone's fate once and for all.

Meanwhile, deep within Tartarus, a long-forgotten threat from Hades' past has re-awakened, and has set his sights on Persephone as his new wellspring of power...

Will Persephone and Hades finally find their peace? Or will fate tear them apart for eternity? Find out in this visually stunning and climactic conclusion to Lore Olympus' second season."

[nuria-schnee]

Hi everyone! ❤️ In this week's sneak peek, I bring you a bit of one of Crystal's scenes in the first chapter. She seems to be onto something...

Crystal almost fell asleep in the lift. She’d had to escape a swarm of monstrous iron-stinger wasps and neutralise a poltergeist that night, and Jenny scolding her had been the last thing she needed. Not that she exactly disliked it. She knew it was her way of showing she cared about her well-being. This was the part she hated the most. Facing the door of her flat, getting the keys out of her pocket. It shouldn’t fill her with dread, but it did. She always hesitated for a second before opening the door, fighting against the delusional hope that bloomed under her skin. What Crystal wanted was to open the door and find someone waiting for her inside. To be welcomed by the sight of a warm, cheerful smile, one she couldn't help but miss. Instead, only the silence and the obvious emptiness of her new home welcomed her when she returned. Everything was as she'd left it, and she hated it.

Read the rest of the scene under the cut!

[...] Crystal stepped into the flat, closed the door, and collapsed back against it. Letting out a tired sigh, she closed her eyes and dropped her bag on the floor. She was cold and every part of her body ached after such a long night of running around solving cases. The feeling was gratifying, even if it wasn't physically pleasant. It reminded her for a little while that she wasn't alone, that she had a purpose now. That knowledge kept her sane when she was by herself. Made sleeping much easier, considering how plagued by nightmares and fears her nights were since Niko died. A continued feeling of loneliness had taken roots in her mind, every empty corner of the flat a reflection of it. She hadn't bothered about buying furniture and decorations yet and still hadn't the energy or the time to do it. In the end, she had more important things to take care of at the moment. She breathed in and out, and pushed herself away from the door. Dragging her feet, she crossed the empty living room. Jenny had blamed the boys for her lack of energy and sleep, but they weren’t truly at fault. They weren’t forcing her to come along at night, or asked more than she could take. It was another thing entirely, what had been exhausting her. Because— The most logical thing to do after such a night was collapse on the bed and sleep. And she didn’t do the most logical thing most nights. That flat only had one other room, aside from the bedroom. It was narrow and dark, without windows, probably meant to be a storage room. She liked to think of it as her own private study, her little agency, if only to make it less bleak. She was working on a case of her own, in the end. Her investigation, the process of trial and error, was probably taking longer without the boys’ help. Even so, Crystal couldn’t tell them what she was doing. In fact, what scared her the most was Edwin finding out. Charles might be excited, would want to help, no doubt, and would worry too much, for sure. Edwin, instead— She had got to know him pretty well, in all those months since they’d met, and they still argued and metaphorically head-butted most of the time, but Crystal cared about him. He was her friend, and she wanted to be a good friend to him. So, she was worried Edwin might stop trusting her, or resent her, if this didn’t go well. When they met, she wouldn’t have guessed she’d end up craving his acceptance. Not in a million years. In the security of her mind, she didn’t mind admitting it, since it was the truth. The thought of breaking Edwin’s heart perturbed her greatly. Even if she couldn’t read him, being a ghost and all, she didn’t to. Not to know he had suffered losing Niko more than he’d allowed them to see. He'd busied himself with work, was all day thinking, pondering, trying to find the reason for the influx of missing ghosts' cases that had been flooding the agency. So, it was in brief moments, easy to miss if she didn't pay attention, that she could see the sadness in him. So, for now, this was her secret.

[gretavanbrie]

Landslide // part two (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, established friendship, heavy alcohol consumption, mentions of alcohol consumption, feelings of heartbreak, sadness, yelling, arguing, feelings of unrequited love, very brief feelings of abandonment, asshole jake in the beginning. If I missed any lmk!! (Vaguely proof read, excuse any mistakes)

A/N: SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG!!! Due to tumblrs weird limit I have to split up the 2nd part in two so there will be a 3rd part that will be up by the time this one is. I truly have no excuse for the delay other than I wanted this to meet everybody’s expectations and I didn’t know how to properly execute all my ideas for the second part of this little mini series. I thank you all for such kindness and patience regarding landslides part two. Alas, here it is!!

Also: it starts off with more of jakes perspective on the blow out and then will slowly transition into the present time. Hope you guys enjoy!

Part 1

“..I started seeing someone from our crew…i really like her y/n”

Jake saw the hope leave your eyes the minute he said it. The sparkle he desperately loved now incredibly dimmed and your hands no longer holding his own, suddenly his confidence on the matter seemed to waver.

Jake always brushed off Josh's advances on getting him to make a move on you, dismissing it as his twins way of meddling and trying to stir the pot. How is he meant to explain the way your lips no longer smiled with your eyes?

Any other person wouldn’t have noticed the sudden hitch of breath for it was so discreet, but of course Jake did. He’s studied your person as if he wanted to become fluent in the language of you, so to say. He’s spent so much time with you over the years all of your habits had become second nature to him. Except there was one thing about you he could never read and you made sure of it.

He still knew you all too well and even if it was for a millisecond he noticed the missed beat in your response, he saw the barely-there glossiness coating his favorite irises and quickly blinked away despite the wide smile still on your face.

The average person would easily be fooled but your entire energy shift was almost spelled out in bold letters in front of him. Jake had started to question if he really was making the right decision.

Since about the 7th grade you had Jake completely enamored, unbeknownst to you. At first it was nothing more than a prepubescent school crush, no more than quiet stolen glances and bad attempts at flirting that had gone unnoticed. When highschool came around he realized girls found him attractive, and like any other teenage boy would do, Jake milked it. He stopped being hyper-focused on you and channeled that energy elsewhere.

You were so adamant on making sure he never got any idea of you seeing him in any romantic light, he genuinely believed it would never happen and realized maybe it was stupid pre-teen boy hormones convincing him he felt more for you than what he did and eventually forgot about his feelings for you all in all.

By the end of junior year your family took a vacation for the summer. You came back for senior year with a different aura to you, you had bloomed beautifully so to say. In simple terms, puberty hit you like a truck. The new effect you had on him scared Jake, he decided it was then easier to have you solely as his friend than trying to decode the rush of dopamine he gets just looking at you. Much like yourself, he denied any and all attraction.

Now as you sat across from him inconspicuously heartbroken, his entire perception shifted. He thought he was crazy when you clutched onto the lapel of his coat so desperately when he held you. His mind went hazy in the moment, almost drunk off the close proximity. He hadn’t thought about you in that light in years. Squashed any attraction into the abyss of his soul never to be thought of again.

Seeing you after the extensive tour, reignited the spark. You threw him off his game, he was so certain he had gotten over you and that Laura was the correct path for him but the way you looked into his eyes made him want to drop everything for you right there.

He continued the conversation nonetheless before the overthinking consumed him whole, he was certain he wasn’t thinking clearly. He relentlessly repeated to himself that you had solely seen him as a friend, there was just no way you were upset he was seeing someone. You were thirsty and dust flew in your eye or something, he made any and all excuses.

Once the conversation had come to a wrap and you hurried your way back inside to process the news. Jake too was in a frenzy, he was so sure of himself and his decision just about an hour ago.

Laura was in theory the perfect match, or so he thought. At first it was a casual hookup while he was on the road and as time went on he had grown to truly like her, he didn’t love her so to say but she definitely made him feel something he hadn’t felt in a long time and he romanticized her.

He hadn’t so much as thought about another because as much as he wouldn’t like to admit it, the thought of you had made a home within his head. Now that Jake was feeling something other than suppressed feelings for you, he wanted to hold on to that and convinced himself that was his fate.

Now that he sees there is even a slight possibility you do see him that way he feels like he’s fucked any and all chances, but do you? His brain couldn’t crack the code and he began to stress himself out.

On his way inside he ran into Josh.

“Hey did you see where y/n went? She ran off on me” Josh’s eyebrows perked up as his brothers words now privy to your hurried entrance from the patio.

“Ran off? Did you scare her off or something?” Josh joked unaware of the tension still rising in Jake’s shoulders.

“Very funny. No, I just finally told her about Laura.” Jake retaliated.

“Laura? What about Laura?” The eldest twin now confused.

“I made it official with her, I wanted to introduce y/n to her. You know.. have my best friend mingle with my girlfriend?” Josh’s eyes blew wide at the realization you were indeed not okay.

“When? This is the first I’m hearing of this. No offense but I thought it was casual for you guys..” Josh trailed off.

“Well I really like her, Josh. Why are you being so weird about it?” Jake asks, his insecurity on the decision now growing tenfold.

“Not being weird just…sudden is all. Can’t say I’ve seen her” Josh lied as he made his way to see just how much damage was done.

Now his own brother wasn’t even as enthused as he thought he’d be. It's not that Jake seeked validation from others regarding his life decisions but now that the two of the most important people in his life aren’t solidifying it, he’s succumbed to shameful overthinking.

He needed a drink to release some of the tension. Jake reached for the bottle of Jack as his phone buzzed. He poured a glass for himself before picking his phone up.

Message from: Laura

-Omw! See u soon baby.

Jake just shut his phone off and slipped it back in his pocket before taking a generous swig of the amber liquid.

The more he overthought the situation the more he found himself pouring more and more of that Tennessee whiskey into his glass. Eventually his step felt light and his vision incredibly disoriented. He put the bottle away as he realized he’s gotten ahead of himself and the alcohol in fact did not help but drove him to wrack his brain on the matter even more than before.

He saw the short blonde walk in from his peripheral and immediately greeted her.

As he leaned in to kiss her he got a whiff of her insufferably strong perfume, he had gotten so used to smelling yours since you got here that this almost made him nauseous. Even more so now that he’s realized maybe she isn’t what he wants.

“Your lips taste like whiskey sweetheart, drinking without me?” Laura laughed.

“Mmm, maybe a glass or two..pretty little blouse you got on” he slurred wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her in.

“Jake you’ve definitely had more than a glass or two, you’re getting a little excited honey” she giggled

“Just had a few refreshments on an empty stomach is all love..” he replied with his infamous cockney accent.

“I already told you not to do that accent Jakey, it's insufferable” Laura said before laughing it off and stepping away from him to grab a drink.

‘Y/n would have joked back in the same accent with me..' Jake thought to himself.

He quickly rid himself of the thought, why was even he thinking about you? The drunken logic now warping his train of thought, reminding himself that he thought nobody was truly happy for him in the moment.

Surely it was self projection, Jake had a newfound insecurity about his decision and outwardly projected his internalized fears onto both you and Josh. Assuming the reason you guys were so off with him was not because you had feelings for him as he previously thought, but instead it was because you guys were just simply unhappy for him.

Josh wasn’t excited, y/n certainly wasn’t matching his energy. In his mind, it somehow made sense.

Jake's head whipped around as he heard your voice come from the living room. Now was the moment he’s been dreading for the last 20 minutes, best to get it over with now.

“Come on babe, I want you to meet some of my friends” he said grabbing Laura’s hand in his and making his way into the living room as best he could given the liquor was catching up with him all too fast.

“Alright everyone, this is Laura. My beautiful girlfriend.” Jake slurred as he pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek. Laura smiled wide at everyone and bid her hellos to those closest to her before her eyes landed on you.

She viewed you as competition. Much like Jake's past girlfriends, they saw how much he talked about you and more often than not gave him the ultimatum of them or you. No matter how much he swore you were just a really close friends Laura wasn’t buying it and wanted Jake all to herself.

Jake immediately searched for you. The minute his eyes met your own, a rush of warmth coated his chest. A bright smile flashed on his face as he forgot about his past worries momentarily upon seeing you look at him. He naturally gravitated towards you and motioned for Laura to come greet you to which she happily obliged.

“Y/n, Laura. Laura, y/n.. this lovely lady has been one of my best friends since elementary school” He introduces but Laura already knew this so Jakes formality made her itch with annoyance, she didn’t want to hear any more. She knew to be nice anyway because she saw how important you were to him and if she wanted him to stay with her she needed to get you to like her as well.

Your bright smile made her confidence waver as you rose to wrap her in a quick embrace. She internally grimaced at how kind you actually seemed. Of course Jake respected you, you had such a welcoming energy that Laura was beginning to envy. Even she was warming up.

“Oh my gosh! You’re y/n! I've heard so much about you, I love your dress” as much as Laura wanted to be selfish you really did look beautiful. She wasn’t expecting for you to be as nice as everybody had said.

“Thank you, you’re so kind. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you flashed her a smile as your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

Laura wasn’t up for any more of the niceties with you. She had hoped there would be some confirmation to her negative preconceived notion about you, ultimately finding none. The only seemingly respectful way to end the conversation was to excuse herself to the bathroom.

Jake gestured a hand toward the couch behind you for the two of you to take a seat.

“Soooo what’d you think?” He says

“Short interaction, but she seems like a great girl Jakey. As long as you’re happy I’m happy.” You respond with a tight lipped smile, eyes avoiding his as you toy with loose strings on your dress.

Jakes head immediately swarmed with every negative thought he could muster. Your lackluster of a response had somehow been a confirmation to his idea of you not being truly happy for him.

“That's it? That's all you’re gonna say?” He asks a bit harsher than he had intended to. Jake immediately saw your brows slightly furrow and your eyes dim, his immediate regret quickly concealed by the whiskey fueling his fight.

“Well I don’t know what you want me to say…a-are you drunk right now?” You stumble over your words now anxious that this was all heating up faster than it should be.

“You could at least act a little more enthused for me. I mean do you even care at all?” Jake knew he was being dramatic, in his warped logic it was better to paint you the villain and play victim than to deal with his internalized feelings for you now resurfacing on top of the immense guilt he was already feeling. Foolishly not thinking of the potentially jeopardized friendship at hand.

“I’m sorry? I don’t know why you’re getting so upset with me. What do you want me to do Jake?”you say lowering your voice, scared others around you might catch wind of whatever this dispute seemed to be.

Jake knew he was being irrational and could no longer come to terms with it, resorting to walking away from it now that he realized he’s causing more damage than good.

“You know what…just forget it, you could at least act like you care.” Jake spat.

He harshly grabbed his drink from the corner table, leaving you behind in complete shock. Jake felt guilty the minute he grabbed his drink and left. He never blows up on you and didn’t know what had compelled him to speak to you like that. Sure you guys are mean to each other as a joke every now and again but this felt all too real.

You made your way to collect your things. Sam had been eavesdropping but could only catch Jake's end of the conversation, for you had made it a point to speak quietly. What he didn’t see was you and your teary-eyed escape. Sam however was just as drunk as Jake if not more and just wanted to be entertained with drama.

“Hey man, what happened?” Sam asks, stopping Jake in his tracks.

“Y/n is pissing me off, that’s what. Where’s Laura?” Jake says, eyes distant as he searches the area for the blonde.

"I can see that asshole, that's why I’m asking what happened.” He quips before continuing.

"You guys haven’t fought since like the 9th grade” Sam remarks.

“I’m not in the mood for your smart ass fucking comments Sam.. really fucking not.” Jake says, shaking his head. He takes a sip of his drink and attempts to walk away before Sam stops him once again.

“Dude just tell me what happened, i wanna know.” Sam prods again.

“I can just tell she’s not happy for me. I was excited to tell her about Laura and she just went all….. dry. Fucking got up and left when i confronted her about it."

“She left?? We just got back, there’s no way she would just leave.” Sam questions.

“Yeah. Well, she did.” Jake says, flashing the youngest kiszka a sarcastic smile.

He scoffs before continuing as he slowly starts to rile himself up again.

“…couldn’t even stick around, how immature.” seemingly forgetting your flee was a product of his harsh attitude.

“Thats fucked. If it helps, I’m happy for you dude… weird that she would just leave. Kinda selfish you don’t think?” Sam responds now just drunkenly wanting to instigate.

Sam's words were music to Jake’s ears, his mood instantly lifting hearing someone telling him what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t that nobody was in Jake's corner, in fact you and Josh both were incredibly happy for him no matter what. It was Jake refusing to come to terms with his emotions and essentially self-sabotaging.

However, hearing Sam call you selfish also made Jake's blood boil. To him you were far from selfish. You were giving and handled everything with the utmost humility. You were not only selfless to those close to you but to those you’ve just met. You danced through your life with grace and generosity and to hear someone undermine that, angered him. Yet, you were supposed to be the one he was upset with. The inner turmoil bubbling to the surface, ten fold.

“I mean, Laura aside… we’re her friends. Regardless of however y/n feels towards her she shouldn’t have just left. We’ve been gone for ages, she’s being petty.” Sam continued.

As much as Sam's words were striking a nerve in Jake as his immediate response normally would have been to defend you, right now he didn’t know how to feel.

Jake gave a quiet hum as he turned up with a lack of an answer on the matter.

The more sam starts to formulate his opinions on the only side of the story he’s gotten, the more it starts to genuinely irk him. His brother aside, he deemed you a best friend no less and felt like it was unfair.

“You know what? I’m gonna text her, she could’ve at least stayed for me or Daniel… heck even Josh!” He said waving his hand frantically, grabbing his phone.

“Boom, sent.” Although he didn’t mean for the message to come out so harsh, Sam was also belligerent and could no longer take anything seriously.

In his mind, this would blow over by tomorrow and you guys would laugh it off like always. Being friends so long, tiffs were bound to happen. Except unbeknownst to Sam, you and Jake have years of pent up turmoil you have yet to diffuse and he is only fueling the fire.

Jake sends a message too, but not in Sam’s drunken immature fashion. He had hurt his own feelings so much, the only convenient place he could point the finger at would be you. Opting to shut you out for the first time in over a decade.

Jake couldn’t decide if it was because he was genuinely mad at you or if it was because this whole situation had made his feelings all too real and he couldn’t bear to face them.

don’t even bother reaching out anymore.

——————————————————————

And that was the last you had heard from Jake in about a week.

You had granted him his wish.

Josh and Danny have called a couple times and everything was normal as far as you were concerned. Neither of the boys had made it awkward, you questioned if they even knew about the messages sent to you by Jake and Sam.

When you got home the night of the welcome party you were faced with immediate regret. You wracked your brain all night on where you went wrong and if you should’ve even left.

Was it the forced smiles?

Was it the choked back congratulations?

Had you not concealed your emotions well enough?

Were you being inconsiderate for leaving after waiting so long to see them?

It wasn’t that you were inherently unhappy for Jake, you genuinely wished the best for him. Internally you question if maybe you had been a bit insensitive but the more you wrack your brain on the matter the more everything starts to just not make sense.

Sam texting you made you all the more anxious. Drunken stupor or not he is a close friend of yours and for him to be mad at you, you must’ve offended him in some way as well. But how?

Your brain has gone a mile a minute since then. Your phone seemed to be in a permanent state of do not disturb. You’ve gone to work like normal, caught up with Ronnie before she went back home and you started to feel like things were semi-okay.

You had gotten so used to seeing a message from Jake everyday for the last almost-decade, it's been weird not hearing from him and you inevitably started to miss him. Although missing him only angered you because you were sure he doesn't miss you the same. You didn’t even want to feel sorry for yourself because how foolish of you to think your hot rockstar best friend is gonna be in love with you too?

Your romantic feelings aside, him being able to shut you out so easy honestly broke your heart even more than hearing he was with someone.

Argument aside, after this long of a friendship how could he cut you off that easily? Were you never that important? You would’ve been okay being his friend and forgetting about your feelings for him once and for all, you just didn’t know how to handle the news there and then and everything blew up in your face so fast.

If Jake didn’t want you to reach out, so be it.

You had come to terms with what Josh had reminded you of, you're 27 now and there was no more reason to sacrifice parts of yourself for the sake of making sure someone else is comfortable in your friendship. He is with someone now and you need to move on, the silent pining has grown old.

You thankfully set up a lunch date with Josh today and were grateful you could find a safe haven within the storm invading your mind. It made it easier knowing he knows just as much, if not more, than you on the situation. You had been deflecting that conversation with him but secretly knew he wasn’t going to stop trying until you told him more.

Josh knows something is up. Jake isn’t yapping about you everyday anymore, you haven't been making any plans with Jake since the tour ended. It’s deeper than Jake just catching an attitude with you. You weren’t one to wallow in your room for days when you were upset but you went into a minor hermit mode since then and it's raised a huge red flag for the older twin.

You sprayed some perfume as the final step in your getting ready process. You looked over your outfit in the mirror once more before grabbing your purse. You were going to your favorite cafe in Nash. It had bottomless mimosas for brunch every other week and with everything going on, you needed some casual day drinking with a friend.

You got situated in your car before heading downtown to meet with Josh. About 15 minutes into your drive, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac came up on your shuffle. You were fairly happy today but upon hearing the lyrics again with a different perspective, everything had easily begun to gloom over.

Oh, mirror in the sky

What is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

You fought the urge to turn it off because it was truly one of your favorite songs but everything reminded you of Jake recently and your sanity was slipping through the cracks. You were instantly brought back to your teenage self helplessly in love with your life-long friend.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’

‘Cause I’ve built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I’m getting older too

You unhesitatingly unplugged your phone from CarPlay. Stevie didn’t get a chance to finish her chorus before the silence in the car had engulfed you.

You fought back tears realizing how real that stupid song made everything. You couldn’t grasp why you were so emotional but you hadn’t realized just how much not talking to Jake had affected you. This change was new for you, life had always been pretty constant especially your friendship with him and you were having a hard time taking things for face value.

You got off the exit heading into town. Finding parking was fairly easy and you picked out a table for two knowing josh was gonna be late.

You took this time to recollect yourself and order a glass.

You waited for about 15 minutes before you saw the curly headed man’s eyes searching the establishment for you. Josh’s wide smile momentarily eased your nerves and you were glad to just spend time with one of your closest friends.

“Only 15 minutes! That’s gotta be a new record” you joked, poking fun at his infamous untimeliness as he found purchase in the seat in front of you.

“What do you mean? I would say I’m early” he feigned a confused expression checking the non-existent watch on his wrist. You couldn’t help but laugh at his nonsense while he waved down the waitress to order himself a glass.

“Bottomless mimosas huh?” Josh continued.

“Yeah, I haven't had a drink since…. well, you know.” you awkwardly laughed to make things light.

"Speaking of which, I didn’t want to ask you about it because i know it's a touchy subj—“

“No. I-i want to. I actually would really appreciate it if we talked about it.” You interrupted. You chose not to elaborate on the fact that the only reason you were in desperate need of talking about it was because you were not as calm about the situation as you had let on.

“Well alright then, lay it on me. Tell me your side, I’ve heard all there is to hear on his side but I refuse to even get into that right now.” He says.

“So he’s still talking about me?” You scoffed before continuing.

“It’s absurd to me that he can be so cold with me yet still bring me up to everyone else. We’re adults. Whatever I did I feel like he should’ve spoken to me about it by now..” you trail off, reaching for your glass.

"I think this may be deeper than the both of you want to accept.” Josh interjects.

“He’s not bringing it up constantly to everybody, but he's my brother so please just trust me on this. It’s deeper for both of you.” He continues.

“What does that even mean? Don’t go all cryptic on me Josh. He’s never spoken to me that way, I don’t know what I could’ve done. Was I really that inconsiderate? I mean if i was, i wanna apologize and talk it out. He’s my friend and I feel terrible that I’ve made it all about me and my feelings.” You rambled chugging the mimosa down.

“Y/n stop, you’re getting in your head again. You handled it well, Jake is just- he's being difficult. Stop blaming yourself, his actions making you feel unwelcome is not something to apologize for.” Josh tried to reason.

“You’re right but I was in the wrong too. I shouldn’t have left. I knew I shouldn’t have. The minute I walked out the door and got to my car I realized I was just overwhelmed with everything. I completely forgot it was a celebration for you guys. I apologized to Ronnie for leaving her in the dust and I wanna do the same for you guys as well, you can refuse all you want but I know in my heart I should have been there for you regardless.” You say trying to hold back the tears. You were almost done with your second glass and the champagne has definitely gotten to your head.

“…and then when him and Sam texted me i just felt awful, so I’m really sorry josh” you continue.

“Wait what?” Josh asks, now with genuine confusion stitched into his eyebrows.

“What?” You ask retreating into yourself, the feeling like you said something you weren’t supposed to had lodged its way in your brain.

“They texted you? What did they say??” He prods.

Jake and Sam hadn’t mentioned a word to Josh about the messages they had sent you. They knew better, they were well aware they were immature for doing so and didn’t want josh’s big brother patronization on top of it all. Jake more so than Sam, Sam didn’t think the argument was that deep and thought you'd take it lightly.

“You didn’t know?” You asked, now matching his bewildered expression.

“Of course not, now I have so many questions. I want you to tell me everything beginning to end. This is absolutely insane to me.” He says waving his hand and sitting back making himself comfortable.

“Okay well, he breaks the news.. I congratulated him and said i was happy for him. I thought i had held myself together pretty well then but I knew i would crack sooner than later so i had to excuse myself. I made a beeline for the bathroom to try and recompose before meeting her and i thought maybe it was the whiskey, you know how he gets on whiskey..” you said making a suggestive eye.

You and the rest of your friends were well aware the amber liquid made Jake easily irritable, to say the least, if consumed in large quantities.

“…but I’ve seen him with one too many whiskey cokes and even then he still would never do that. Anyway, I’m rambling. In short, I greet her, we exchange compliments, everything was fine and then she excuses herself for the bathroom mid-convo and he asks me what I think. I just said she seems like a great girl and I’m happy for him. I mean what the fuck else was I supposed to say? She literally left before I could have a real conversation with her and he just blew up on me saying I wasn’t actually happy for him and I could… and I quote, ‘at least act like I care’” you say with finger air quotes before finishing your glass and starting on your third.

Josh just stares at you for a moment before his jaw drops.

“What the fuck? So where does the text come into play?"

“Right, so once I get to my car and I think about going back inside I get a text from Sam first…saying this” you say before pulling up the messages and showing Josh the screen. His eyes scan over the message for a brief second.

“some friend? He’s one to fucking talk. He was drunk and glued to his friends the entire night, I think he just wanted to instigate. What about jake? I wanna hear what he had to say” you saw josh getting riled up but the reminder of Jake's message brought everything back to reality and the influx of emotions mixed with the alcohol did you no favors.

“…he um, he said not to bother reaching out.” you said voice small, eyes avoiding his own as you shut your phone off not even bothering to open his chat up again.

You saw his energy shift and although Josh is pretty composed and patient around you, you could see that it struck a nerve in him. He knew it was completely ridiculous and Jake was just deflecting and running from his feelings. Josh saw right through everything and the fact that Jake had failed to mention this to him, only angered him more.

“It’s okay.. really. I understand, he was probably excited to share the news and I honestly was acting a bit dry with him. But also what was I supposed to say? ‘hey I’m upset because I’ve been in love with you since senior year of high school but you don’t feel the same way’ like no.. obviously not. It would ruin everything…..I don’t know I'm just conflicted josh.” you say putting your head in your hands for a moment.

The liquor was catching up with you faster than anticipated on an empty stomach.

“Bullshit. Stop making excuses for him, you know its fucked up regardless. He can be upset with you for whatever reason but to completely shut you out like that? No wonder you guys haven’t hashed it out yet. I knew this was running on too long.” He says, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

You just shrugged before taking another sip of your drink.

“Listen, once he's ready he can reach out. But i'm gonna start putting myself first, if he doesn’t wanna talk? Fine by me.” You shrug.

“Let's ditch that topic for now. It's just starting to piss me off more, how is everything for you though?” You ask.

“It’s alright, we’re just getting prepped for some festivals that we have coming up but i'm excited for this down time. Been a while since I could come have lunch dates with my best friend.” Josh said, playfully winking.

“I knowww, i'm so excited you’re back. Jake and i had been talking about—“ you cut yourself off realizing the plans you and Jake had made may now never follow through. You guys had talked endlessly about catching up on all the missed plans and hangouts with everybody but the thought of it only saddened you.

“.. nevermind” you laughed, taking a sip of your glass in an attempt to ease the tension.

Josh gave you a sympathetic smile before changing the subject and continuing conversation as normal.

—————————————————————

Before you realized it, three hours had passed and it was already the late afternoon. You were seven mimosas deep and there was no shot at you driving yourself home.

“Josh? I think im a little drunk” you giggled leaning your head on your hands.

“Can I Venmo you for brunch?” You question.

“You think? That thousand yard stare is a dead give away. Don’t worry about it, i got it mama”

“Awww you're paying for me? That is just so nice” you tease pressing a hand to your chest. Josh laughs at your drunken candor.

“Shut up and give me your keys, I'm driving you home after I pay this bill. Finish the glass you have now and we’re going” he laughs trying not to entertain your drunken behavior.

“Hey… i'll shut up when i want to” you mumbled to yourself before handing your keys to him.

“You only had half a mimosa you weirdo” you joke as you both gather your things, some more efficiently than others.

“I saw how fast you were going through those, someone had to be sober to drive you home. You’re a lightweight.” He said with a pointed look.

"…touché’’ you say, squinting your eyes at him playfully.

Josh opens his car door for you and you try and climb up in his Jeep as gracefully as you could. The minute he shuts the door you realize you're a lot drunker than what you thought you were. You don’t drink often and certainly not to cope with heavy emotions but it honestly felt quite nice to feel the weight lift off your shoulders momentarily.

Josh hops in and starts his car up, your head was spinning and you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself.

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing, I just think it's silly I let myself get so drunk from mimosas..my head is literally spinning” which somehow made you laugh harder.

A genuine cackle had bubbled out of your chest as happy tears pooled at the corner of your eyes and Josh was happy to hear it.

You’d been blue since the fallout and even if it was just a case of the drunken giggles, seeing your happiness shine during the golden hour of the day only made his heart warm.

“Okay i just laughed so hard it made my head hurt…” you said calming down and rubbing at your temples.

“Whewww sorry, that gave me a good giggle” you said laughing again. You have a bad habit of rambling and it's only worse when you're drunk. You can talk about any and everything under the sun and Josh was mentally preparing himself for the word vomit, to which it never came. Instead he was hit with a sudden mood swing.

“You know… this is really stupid” you say, leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

“I shouldn’t miss him so much josh..” you open your eyes as it only made the spins worse and looked down fumbling with your hands.

Josh stayed quiet allowing you to get everything out, the minute you weren’t spewing nonsense at him gave him a clue that this was hurting you more than you let on.

You don’t know where it had all come from but everything was suddenly incredibly sentimental and you were fighting back the urge to cry. You knew it was just the champagne talking, but was it? Or did it just make you feel what you’ve been suppressing all week?

You sniffled which immediately alerted josh.

“You were just laughing.. what happened?” Josh laughed at your sudden mood switch. You couldn’t help but laugh too at the randomness.

“Ugh I don’t know man” you cry-laughed wiping the tears

“… do you wanna talk about it?” He said trying not to pry but still wanted to let you know he was here to listen.

“not really, i haven't fully processed it and I don’t wanna talk about it until all my ducks are in a row” you chuckled before dozing off for the remainder of the drive.

“You’ve kept your feelings a secret for a long time little one, just making sure youre okay.”

”I'm feeling…exquisite” you slurred.

Josh just gave a slight hum before chuckling and turning down the radio a bit to let you get shut eye.

———————————————————————

You stirred awake as Josh lightly shook you.

“We’re at your house, wake up” he said.

You gathered your purse and shoes before hopping out of his truck and stumbling your way inside. Your keys were nowhere to be found in your bag and you frustratingly turned around at the eldest kiszka.

“Where are my keys? I want these jeans off of me already” you said tucking the hair that fell in your face behind your ear.

“Hold your horses little one, I have them because someone’s belligerent.” Josh said, raising his eyebrows at you.

“I’m too drunk to drive, not enough to where I can’t unlock my own door” you said matter-of-factly.

“Yea yea, whatever here you go” he said, dangling the keys in front of you.

“What am i gonna do about my car” you whined as you barely made it past your home's threshold. You plopped down on your couch face down, all the movement was starting to make you nauseous.

“Woah..i feel like i'm getting drunker by the minute, i thought i'd sober up by now” you said sitting up from your position and rubbing at your temples.

“Here, i got you some water. I'll take you tomorrow morning to pick it up.. sound good?” You nodded as Josh handed you the bottle. You uncapped the lid and took a few sips. You hadn’t eaten or drank anything all day except for one piece of complimentary bread and seven and a half mimosas…

Josh was surprised you were still able to stand yourself up given how much of a lightweight you are. You had gotten so wrapped up in conversation with him you completely forgot to order food.

“I'll be right back” you hear him disappear into the kitchen as you sink back into your couch.

Your head was spinning. It was almost humorous. Like the thought of Jake had been swarming your thoughts and now ironically manifested in a physical sense.

You missed him even though your pride didn’t want to let you admit it. It wasn’t even about him being with Laura anymore. You were content and happy with him as a friend. Time heals all wounds and you were bound to get over the silly heartbreak but having none of Jake at all was almost tortuous.

Your head shot up as you heard a ping sound from your phone.

“Is it jake?” You perked up.

Josh’s eyes saddened at the thought of you expecting a message from him. You both know how stubborn Jake can get and the fact you still have hope just made him more upset with his brother. He picked up the phone checking the screen realizing it was just one of your friends from work.

“No, sorry…. just Liz.” he said sympathetically, handing you your phone.

“Oh.. okay” you said, trying your best to not make it seem like you were disappointed.

"I’m gonna go change and try to make some food, you're welcome to stay Joshy. Help yourself” you said gesturing to the kitchen as you made your way to your bedroom.

“I already made you a sandwich. It’s in the kitchen on a plate for you. I told some friends I’d join them. Are you gonna be okay?” He says as you turn around to face him.

“Ugh traitor, I’ll be fine i guesss. Thanks for the food” you joked as you gave him a hug goodbye. You heard a chuckle bubble from his chest.

“I'll call you in the morning, answer and be ready” josh says, pointing a stern finger at you as he makes his way to your front door.

“I will! Love you long time” you gave him a tight lipped smile as he opened the door to make his way out.

“Love you!” You heard him shout before the sound of the door shutting had echoed through your home.

You stumbled back towards your bedroom and popped a couple Advils before making your way to your closet to change into comfier clothes. You didn’t bother taking off your makeup just yet and decided to leave your hair down, you didn’t have the energy to bother with it.

Your stomach rumbling only grew stronger as you were mentally occupied with the absence of your life-long friend. You knew you should go and eat but you had busied yourself with the incessant thoughts of that one night.

Deciding you needed a momentary distraction from the thoughts that had occupied your brain all week, your stomach growls at you from the thought of Josh’s sandwich.

‘Even if he’s mad at me I should still apologize, be the bigger person' you think to yourself as you turn the corner to your kitchen.

Sober you knows better and is too stubborn to cave in first, but drunk you is only occupied with the chest-burning thought of how much you love him and wanting this to be resolved as quickly as possible.

You look at the plate and see Josh made the sandwich Jake usually makes you. Your eyes tear up and your throat burns at the thought.

On one hand it was so sweet of Josh to bring you some comfort given the sudden change but it was also not the same because it wasn’t coming from who you selfishly wanted it to. You take a bite as the tears fall silently.

No expression on your face, just a dead stare as you eat and the tears quietly slip from your ducts.

You hadn’t allowed yourself to truly feel all week. You had occupied yourself with mundane tasks at home and work was a big help with distracting yourself.

Anything to not be focused on where things went wrong.

Now that you had gotten ahead of yourself with the mimosas, everything you had bottled up was starting to spill over the edge and your composure slowly slipping through the cracks.

You poured yourself a final drink for the night, opting for a sweet red wine to take the edge off. There was only a little more than a glass left in your wine bottle, no better time than today to finish it rather than right before you have to start going back to work. You had the entire weekend to recover from the inevitable hangover bound to plague you in the morning.

You made your way into the living room and over to your record player. You sifted through your shelf of vinyls before settling on CSN&Y’s ‘So Far’. You let it play for a little as you burned an incense and nursed your final glass of your favorite wine.

You hear the familiar chords of Helplessly Hoping begin to play and coincidentally all the wine had rushed to your blood. You were considerably drunk and this was very unlike you. You decided to not even finish the glass, you felt guilty almost. Like you were unhealthily coping. Your vision became disoriented and everything felt hazy.

Happy wine drunk is one thing but being sad wine drunk did you no favors, especially given the song traveling throughout your home. The only thing finding purchase in your clouded mind was Jake and Jake only.

You mindlessly picked up your phone, opening up your last conversation with him. You longingly stared at his contact picture of the both of you. It was an old photo Karen had sent you of when you guys were about 11 at their annual 4th of July barbecue.

“Come on kids, get in the dang picture!” Karen tried to reason with the 5 of you but you guys were too occupied with the fact that Sam wasn't giving the ball back.

As Karen tried rounding up Josh Sam and Ronnie for the picture, you pulled Jake aside and convinced him to get in the picture for his mom. Karen noticed the two of you ready and decided to snap one of just the two of you.

“Aww how sweet, the two of you together..” she said pointing her camera at the two of you.

“Come on mom just take the picture” Jake whined ready to get back to his game with his brothers.

“Fine fine, i'll get all five of you later… scooch in closer Jacob” She said gesturing with her hand.

“What, like this?” Jake remarks, laughing as he aggressively squishes his face against your own. You laugh at his sarcasm, as does he. Karen snapped the picture of your two wide smiles smooshed together in your red white and blue attire.

You smiled at the memory and without a second thought you clicked the call button as the memory had clouded all logic. All you wanted in the moment was to talk to your best friend again.

You heard it ring once, then twice, then declined.

A sob escaped past your lips as you heard his automated voice message saying he’ll call back, ironic given he probably won’t.

You left a message regardless. Liquid courage or not, at least you did your part.

“Hey Jake, im probably gonna regret this in the morning” you sadly laughed. You let out a big sigh before continuing.

“..but it's been over a week, we’ve never gone that long without talking.. I didn’t think I’d lose you entirely” you paused for a moment as you were getting tongue-tied and your voice was slowly giving up as you fought back tears.

“I know you said to not bother reaching out but you mean so much to me, more than you know a-and I can’t just do that" you slurred as you plopped down on the couch.

“Anyway… take all the time you need. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for whatever I said.. or did. I'm ready to talk about it whenever you are..” you said trailing off.

“Just call me back i guess…o-or maybe don—“ you were cut off by the teleprompter letting you know the message was too long and you angrily pressed the hang up button before laying down and drifting off on your couch.

The spins were becoming overbearing and you didn’t want to think about how mad you were gonna be at yourself in the morning.

————————————————————

Jake saw your call.

He saw the notification saying you had left a voicemail.

He couldn’t bring himself to pick up or even listen to what you had to say. He feared that if he heard your voice after so long he’d crack.

He was being prideful.

He regretted everything he said for it was completely out of character for him and the whiskey is no excuse. He knew it was a bad idea the minute he finished his first glass. His emotions were heightened and Jake's entire perception of his reality had shifted within 15 minutes. He couldn’t process everything and blew up on you.

"I thought you said you stopped talking to her baby?” Laura questioned as she sat next to him on the bed.

“I did.” Jake sighed.

“So.. why did I just see you decline her call? Why is she even calling you?” She chided.

“Hey, calm down. I genuinely don’t know, I'm just as confused as you are." He replied pulling her into his side.

“I already told you how I feel about her. I don’t think she’s good for you. She’s clearly not happy for us.. for you, jakey” Jake internally winced at your childhood nickname for him coming out of her mouth, he hated when people called him that unless it was you that was referring to him.

“She was being a bitch to me at the party, you saw.” She remarked, lying to make sure she got what she wanted.

“Wait, how? She ended up leaving..” Jake pulled back from her now confused.

“Oh. Well maybe you weren’t there but she just said something about how I wasn’t welcome within the circle” she blurted. Laura couldn’t come up with a good enough lie to paint you as the villain.

“That doesn’t sound like y/n, I mean I’ve seen her strongly dislike people and she still would never exclude anybody. She doesn’t like confrontation..” Jake said now even more perplexed.

“Are you defending her right now?” Laura sat up defensive.

“N-no im just saying it’s not like her to say th—"

“Stop making excuses for her! She clearly isn't happy for you Jake! Her whole kindness thing is some lame act to get people to like her. She’s just some boring plain Jane that wants you to herself. Why can’t you get that through your head?!” She continued.

Laura’s facade now slowly melting away, something sparked in Jake.

He hated when people spoke ill of you, especially when people undermine you no matter if he was upset with you or not.

There was so much more to you than the surface showed.

You weren’t boring, you certainly would never go out of your way to make someone feel unwelcome. You were kind to a fault but still had a crazy fire that burned within you, unlike others you kept your flame contained. You were incredibly emotionally mature and it was silly for Jake to ever think you could be unhappy for him.

“Get out.”

“W-what?” Laura says shocked.

“I don’t want to argue with you on this, no matter what she and I are going through, she's been a close friend of my family since fucking elementary school and I think it's incredibly distasteful that you feel so comfortable bad mouthing her when you barely know her. Doesn’t matter what i feel, she’s still Josh’s friend, Sam’s, Danny’s.. my fucking parents” Jake said counting off on his fingers.

He didn’t know what had overcome him but he realized how big of a mistake he made thinking Laura was the one. How easy it was for her to speak ill of someone that was practically family to his own just showed Laura’s true character.

He stared at her gobsmacked expression for a moment before driving in the last dagger to seal it all.

“Matter of fact, I think this was a mistake.” He finishes getting up from the bed and opening the bedroom door.

“You’re seriously gonna break up with me over some girl? You even said yourself that she doesn’t care and you’re defending her?”

“Oh for fucks sake i was mad and drunk, i was just pissing myself off and pointed the finger at her. It was wrong of me, yes, but also none of your fucking business. I will reap what I sow on my own and I will certainly not have you speak ill of her because of my wrong doings.” Jake says as she stands up and collects her things.

“Fucking pathetic.” She spits pushing past him and fleeing down the stairs.

Jake hears the door slam shut.

What the fuck?

Jake starts to wonder if he dodged a bullet, the way she reacted to you being brought up just seemed so odd. Like the thought of you triggered her and Jake didn’t like that.

He held you close in his heart, as did his family, and he expects people to treat you with the same respect. Then again, how respectful has he been? Hearing Laura speak about you and try to lie about you just made him feel so guilty.

He couldn’t just man up and accept the fact that he loves you, he feels he's ruined everything.

His head perks up remembering you called him. He rushed downstairs to lock his door and immediately came back up to pick up his phone staring at the missed call from ‘Sunshine’.

Jake hesitantly tapped the play button on the voicemail putting it on speaker. Upon hearing your voice his wall broke. You made him weak in the knees. He listened for a little longer realizing you were drunk.

Is she alone?

Is she okay?

Why is she drunk?

He silently cursed himself for even going this long without talking to you. The only reason he was semi-okay in your absence was because josh and Danny would bring you up occasionally so he at least knew you were safe.

Jake was now even more pissed at himself for even letting things get this far between you guys.

‘I know you said to not bother reaching out but you mean so much to me, more than you know..'

Jakes ears started ringing, hearing you say he means something to you made his love for you just buzz even stronger within him.

He fucked up.

Aside from his romantic feelings, you were his best friend and he couldn’t believe he just shut you out.

He could hear the hurt in your voice and regretted everything he said. Even if he was getting in his head that wasn't your responsibility and he shouldn’t have pointed the finger at you just to make himself feel temporarily better.

’…I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for whatever I said.. or did. I'm ready to talk about it whenever you are..'

Jake couldn’t listen any further, the sound of your voice cracking during your apology saddened him. You had nothing to apologize for and he hated that he made you feel like you did. He needed to make things right.

He immediately called back and upon receiving no answer, he panicked. Every bad possibility was running through his head a mile a minute. He didn’t hesitate to throw on a shirt and grab his keys.

Jake had never rushed to your house so fast in his life. It was like a grand awakening for him. He vowed to do right by you and ultimately failed you. Hearing you so upset over his absence completely broke him.

Jake was having a hard time collecting his thoughts over this. Deep down he knew Laura was just a distraction from his feelings for you and instead of accepting the fact that he only had eyes for you, he villainized you.

Somehow having a reason to be angry with you only made it easier to shy away from the head high he gets just being around you. Your scent, the way your expression softens upon his gaze without fail, the way your hair perfectly frames your face, how you smile with your eyes and your nose scrunches when you laugh.

He was foolish to not realize these aren’t just things he notices you do, these are things that made him fall in love with you and he had been so incredibly ignorant to not realize earlier.

He pulled into your driveway and almost forgot to turn off his car from how much of a hurry he was to get to you. Jake wasted no time banging on the door.

You were startled from your slumber from the loud knocking coming from your front door, you stood up too fast and your vision went hazy. You completely forgot about your day drinking and the wine glass that had sent you over the edge until you almost lost your balance.

“Hold on! I'm coming!!” You shouted assuming it was Josh coming back to bother you. The incessant knocking never ceased until you stumbled over and swung the door open.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you were face to face with the man who had left you in the dark for almost two weeks.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you said softly, staring as his chest heaved up and down.

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Part 3

Taglist:

@takenbythemadness @jjwasneverhere @gvfvanfleet @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @vanfleeter @m0uthfl13s @sparrowofrhiannon @love-isnt-greed @mohralistic @sinarainbows @gretnabancheese @kiszkaaa @napcoinv @citydovebaby @musicspeaks @dont-go-home-without-me @iheartjakekiszka @notjordie-gvf @fallen-from-venus @sydneeelyse @journeytothecenterofattenti-blog @starcatcher-jake @gretavankleep37 @starshine-gvf @violetstarcatcher @wildbluesorbit @imleavingyoufornewyork @dennys-employee @lizzys-sunflower @jessicafg03 @gretavansstuff @heckingfrick @thechurchofgvf-admin @fkfearandliveyourlegend @kiszkas-canvas @chlop94 @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @gvfpal @whollyfree @gvfvanfleet @anythingforjtk @elkenenvy @gvfmarge @texas-bbq-pringles @iamasimpandnotproud

[redrose10]

The next chapter of Cinnamon & Vanilla should be out mid-to the end of next week. We’re getting close to the end and I really appreciate all the support on that one. Here is a little sneak peak at the next story that I plan to release. As you can probably tell I’m very Yoongi biased. This one will probably just be one big story instead of a multi chapter thing, but that could change. Let me know if this is something you’d actually be interested in reading!

Inn Keeper Yoongi x Female Author Reader

Summary: You have never experienced true love which is hilarious considering you write romance novels for a living. When you end up staying at The Interlude Inn located in Holly Falls you start to wonder if maybe the answer to your newest love story is sitting behind the welcome desk. Quickly, you find out that Min Yoongi hides a lot of pain and sorrow behind his shy smiles and quick glances.

Warnings: (may get updated) Swearing, character death, very very angsty for a while, mentions of physical and verbal abuse, bullying, a really mean letter, panic attacks, eventual light smut, it will get better

Teaser Below The Cut

Once you arrived at the airport you really wished you’d done a little more research about Holly Falls. After some digging and a conversation with a very outgoing Uber Driver you found out that eleven months out of the year the town is very low key and relaxed, but for one month it is a tourist hotspot thanks to the insane amount of blooming cherry blossom trees. According to your new Uber friend, people come to Holly Falls during this month to see the fields of trees blooming in all their glory. The normally quiet town embraces the crowds providing various festivals and parades and gimmicks to draw in the guests as well as their wallets. And of course you just happen to travel over there smack dab in the middle of it all.

The driver dropped you off in the middle of the fun so with your bag slung over your shoulder you started heading into different hotels trying to book a room. In the city you could walk into pretty much any hotel at any time and book a room. You had assumed it would be same in this small town so you had decided to wait to book a room until you could see them in person wanting to get the feel and make sure you chose the right fit. You imagine in any other month it would be much easier to obtain a place to stay here, but due to the large tourist presence every single hotel was completely booked for the entire month.

You were just about ready to give up and head to the airport to see about booking a flight home when an older gentleman came up to you carrying various handmade trinkets for sale.

“See anything you like miss? All of these are under $10.”, he asked.

Politely you smiled, “No thank you. Not right now.”

You thought he had left until you saw him dangling a hand painted sun catcher in front of you. The design a beautiful beautiful cherry blossom. Trying to bite your tongue and not snap at the elderly man you again shook your head.

“Here have it for free. You seem to need a little cheering up.”, he smiled.

Reaching up you grabbed the delicate glass from him, “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m sorry if I came off rude. I’m just really stressed out right now.”

“Didn’t know about the cherry blossom season and now you can’t find a place to stay?”, he asked.

“How did you know?”, you replied wide eyed.

The elderly man chuckled while taking a seat next to you, “There’s always at least one person that gets stuck here with nowhere to stay because they didn’t know how crazy things can get around here this time of the year.”

“Mmh yeah that would be me this year. I need somewhere to stay for a couple weeks or I’m going to have to head back home.”

“You know there might be somewhere that still has a room available. It’s just outside all of the hubbub. About ten miles just over that hill. If you get to Taehyung’s Strawberry Farm then you’ve gone too far.”, he said pointing in the opposite direction of the festivities.

“Really? You think they’d have a room? I wonder why they wouldn’t be booked like every other place.”

The gentleman stood up from the bench you were both on, “Its worth a shot. It’s a little farther away from all the action than people like to be. Plus the owners are a little on the unique side.”

You were concerned at this statement. The last thing you wanted to do was end up being the story line of a true crime documentary.

He continued, “They are very nice people. A young man and his grandmother. They just tend to be very secluded and to themselves. It’s called Interlude Inn. You can’t miss it.”

You thanked him for the information and watched as he walked into a large group of people trying to sell the rest of his merchandise. Placing the delicate sun catcher in your bag you ordered another Uber to take you over to the inn. A familiar vehicle quickly pulled up in front of you with the same talkative man from earlier. You wondered how there weren’t any other drivers available, but you smiled as you slid in the back seat anyways.

“Leaving so soon?”, he asked.

You chuckled, “No I just need to find somewhere else to stay. Can you please take me to The Interlude Inn?”

Suddenly the man stopped, turning to look back at you.

“Miss you don’t want to stay there. Surely there’s somewhere else around here you can stay.”

“Every hotel is completely booked. If this inn doesn’t have a room then I’ll have to just go home.”

He sighed, “Alright miss. If you insist.”

He began the drive to your location. His words about finding somewhere else stuck in your mind.

“Sir?”

“Yes Miss”

“What you said earlier. What is so bad about this inn?”

“Well, the grandma, I think her name is Mae, is very sweet. She’s done the best she can with what she had. But that Min boy, he’s a little odd.”

“Ohhh…Like serial killer odd?”

The man chuckled, “No not that kind of odd. He’s just very quiet and keeps to himself, but he is polite. He’s never seemed to have any friends and I doubt he’s ever had any kind of relationship. He comes into town only a few times a year, mostly when his grandmother needs something. He doesn’t acknowledge anyone, even when they speak to him directly. People usually only stay at the inn as a last resort during this busy season.”

From what you’re hearing he seemed like just a quiet introverted person who loves his grandma. You weren’t sure why everyone seemed so leery of him.

The car pulled up infront of the inn. The large wooden sign out front verified you were indeed at The Interlude Inn. Thanking your driver you grabbed your bag and made your way up to the entrance.

The Inn looked cozy and welcoming. It was smaller than you had imagined. There couldn’t be more than three or four rooms. Off to the side you noticed a little garden with various plants starting to bloom.

On the door hung a welcome sign adorned with hand painted lady bugs and butterflies. Turning the handle you gently pushed in the door being greeted by a heavenly aroma making your stomach grumble. The entrance room which also doubled as a living room had two couches, one on either side of a coffee table. A television hung on the wall above a fireplace. In the corner was a small desk which you assume would be where you could request a room.

Walking over you noticed a younger man crouching down so he was eye level with one of the drawers. He appeared to be about your age, mid to late twenties. Black hair with a slight curl to it hung over his forehead. Beautiful cat like eyes and his soft lips formed into a deep pout. You wanted so badly to reach over and squeeze his chubby cheeks, but you knew that was a weirdness you didn’t want to invoke. He was fidgeting with a drawer that seemed to be stuck and you could here the argument he was having in soft whispers,

“Come on you stupid thing.”

“It shouldn’t be this difficult.”

“Please, I just need a pen and then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the day.”

You chuckled hearing him begging the drawer to cooperate. Reaching into your bag you grabbed one of your spare pens and set it on the desk, “Here I have a pen you could use.”

The young man let out a sudden squeal after you startled him. He jumped backwards and landed on his behind with a loud thud.

“Oh no I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you had heard me come in.”, you apologized feeling terrible.

The poor guy sat on the ground trying to collect himself before bringing himself back to a standing position. That’s when you noticed his cheeks were a bright shade of red, making you want to squeeze them even more. The man didn’t say a word. His eyes were barely able to focus on you, instead they would move around the room before returning to you for just a second before he’d quickly look elsewhere.

“Ahh this must be the Min boy the driver was talking about?”, you thought to yourself.

[moodymisty]

Hello! I can not tell you how fERRAL I went when I discovered your blog a couple days ago, I've binged the fuck out of your Darksiders content and I just can't belive I havent found you sooner (where have you been fr ;7;) !! Your writing style and vocabulary are impeccable, and I can't wait to read moreeee ahhdjshdjsjdj I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter of 'Tree in Bloom' but if I may request also a continuation or conclusion of your 'Death returning to the one he abandoned post well of souls' fic cuz I'm a succer for your angst and fluff and everything else you do really jdjshdj<3 sfw or nsfw idc as long as I get to read more of your writing!<333

Lots of love and support from a long time Darksiders community member and fan <3

Part 1

Author's note: Sure fam, I think I can squeeze out a bit more for that one.

Relationships: Death/Gn!Reader

Warnings: none really

Death hadn't returned to you since the confrontation.

It's a rare feeling for him, but he honestly doesn't know what to do next. If you were missing, injured, he could formulate a plan, kill something, even bite his tongue and ask for assistance. But you're right here, and so unfathomably angry at him that the anger has morphed into something else entirely.

Apathy, perhaps. Death wouldn't be unfamiliar with that sort of transformation. He'd felt that change towards the fate of the Nephilim a long time ago.

But Death knows that he doesn't want to just leave you behind the way he does with everyone else. The way he had tried to with his death in the Well of Souls, and had failed to successfully do. He enjoyed having you beside him, enough so that it almost made him upset at how attached he was getting. It made him even angrier that it was becoming more than just acquaintanceship, or friendship. He shouldn't be having the sorts of thoughts he was about you, he didn't deserve them.

You didn't either; Not after what he did. He knows he had to, it's what he thought was best, it was the only way to save War and your race, but that doesn't mean he hasn't realized how it had hurt you.

But now he stands in front of you completely silent, and all the words he was thinking about saying suddenly sound so stupid.

"I told you Death, you can just leave. I don't know why you keep coming back."

His jaw shifts behind his mask. That sounds eerily similar to something that he would say, and he isn't a fan of being on the other side of it. Perhaps for a moment he understands a bit of how you feel when you try to speak with him.

You look up at him with raised eyebrows, wondering why he hasn't either talked, or just moved on. Your anger fades ever so slightly when you seem to realize that he's... nervous. Or at least something in a similar category.

"What is it, Death?" He swallows the knot in his throat. What he's going to say isn't something he's said in so long that he doesn't remember how the words taste, nor does he know if it's even the right thing to say.

"I wanted to apologize to you."

Your face changes from anger to surprise. He thinks he sees your lips mouth what, but your voice was silent. You cross your arms across your chest as if trying to give yourself a hug.

"Why?" At first he thinks you're asking why he's apologizing, but when he sees the watery shine in your eyes he realizes that you're asking why he did what he did. You just wanted an answer, this entire time, and he knows now that he at least owes you that.

"I thought it would be better to just leave than to drag it out."

You wanted to be angry at him still he can tell, demand that he explain himself more, but you know in the end that's all you'll get out of him in words. You could at least understand him; That it was easier to rip the bandaid off than to say goodbye and risk feeling hesitation over what he had to do.

You sigh, still crossing your arms over eachother.

"You don't have to apologize. Just, don't leave me like that again." Death watches you look away from him again, and your next words hit him harder than he's been hit by any weapon in awhile. "I don't know if I could take something like that a second time."

Death doesn't comment directly on it, on how you so easily show you're attached to him. Death had tried desperately to stop you from doing so, for your sake and his. You shouldn't attach yourself to someone like him, and someone like him doesn't deserve such upfront, vocal infatuation.

"Dust stayed with you this entire time?"

Death looks down on you with his familiar expression, though even you can tell behind the mask it's a bit softer. The bird warbles softly at his name being called, ruffling his feathers a bit but still staying mostly still. You nod at his question.

"Yes, ever since you left." Death looks at his left shoulder at the crow, watching the bird eye him.

"Good bird." You smile at his praise. Dust deserved it, after everything.

"I imagine I have plenty to catch up on," Death says. He knows you have a penchant for curiosity- as does your entire race it seems - along with the changes he himself brought not long ago. He's sure you've gotten into trouble under the Makers care, as well as anything that has changed since he brought Humanity back from the dead.

"You do." You take a breath and raise your tone to something more questioning, and more importantly expectant. "But I can bring you up to speed, if you can stay awhile?"

Death out of habit wanted to say no, but perhaps he can defeat a centuries old habit just for you.

He nods, and follows behind you as you go to sit down together with him, and tell him everything.