#I did this instead of writing thesis lol

[goth-automaton]

[himbohimhoe]

Holding out hope that the writing in veilguard will get more bearable but rook saying to lucanis that it's "not nice that Spite hurt him" and he "shouldn't accept that it’s fine bc it wouldn't be ok if a person did that" like. That is a demon. Built off a single emotion called SPITE. Rook I am finding it really hard to believe that u have lived in thedas for more than 30 seconds.

[citricacidprince]

Could you draw that "I trust you" scene with Mabel and Stan but with the relativity AU? (The stan twins and pine twins swap ages au)

OF COURSE, I WILL GLADLY DRAW THEM!!! 💥💥💥

I’m gonna post a long winded thesis about my thoughts on this AU, my take on the AU, and two additional arts under the cut because ooooh boy it’s a tad bit long lol. Also, please please forgive the formatting, I’m writing this all on the fly and it’s extremely disjointed, sorry- 💥

I know there’s the ‘canon’ Relativity AU designs and character dynamics, however I don’t really like them that much ngl. I feel like it mostly just ends up with ‘Mabel and Dipper get switched with Stan and Ford with no nuances once so ever’ and that BLOWS!!! There’s so much potential there and no one is playing with it!! YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN HAVE MABEL PRETENDING TO BE DIPPER, WHATS THE POINT????

Not only that but I feel like making Dipper and Mabel’s dynamic just Ford and Stan’s when they’re adults is a HUGE simplification of their characters. Like, Mabel and Dipper fight, but they don’t fight like Stan and Ford, they’re not as hard headed and stubborn. Mabel would commit some crimes yes, but I don’t believe she would get into some of the heavy shit Stan had in his past. I refuse to believe Mr. Dipper ‘Undiagnosed Anxiety Disorder’ Pines would fall for Bill’s flattery as easily as Ford did.

The Pines Twins are very different from the Mystery Twins. Mabel and Dipper didn’t grow up with a father constantly comparing the two and pinning them against each other, outright telling one kid they’ll always be a failure while the other is going to have the burden of making their family rich. They never had that tension. They wouldn’t be walking on eggshells around eachother as adults.

I know that makes the concept sound boring to some, ‘Where’s the fun in the AU if you take away the sibling fighting’. You cowards, you can still have it, young Stan and Ford are RIGHT THERE. During the second half of the show when Dipper comes back through the portal, instead of having the older set of twins, something that doesn’t male sense with their characters, have a building tension that’s going to explode soon and keep it between Stan and Ford, don’t take it away from them. If anything, I think taking away the resentment and anger growing between the two and giving it to Mabel and Dipped is a butchering of all the characters.

Sure that means some of the episodes would have to change or be completely erased, but that’s fine!!! Make up some new ones!!! Get silly with it!!!

Mabel and Dipper talk about feelings, Stan and Ford don’t. Mabel and Dipper can’t stay mad at each other, Stan and Ford will try and stay mad for decades because being angry is easier than being upset.

In my idea of this AU that fight at the end of Weirdmageddon HAS to be between Stan and Ford, and Stan HAS to still be the one getting his memories erased.

💥 Post Not-What-He-Seems Relativity AU Rambling Below 💥

Dipper is a paranoid man, fool him once you’re never going to fool him again. He would never in a million years ever work with Bill again. Ford however is an extremely lonely child, both he and his brother are desperate for any type of positive attention. I think Bill would see him as a potential protege, especially since Ford is a ‘freak’ like he is and the kid is extremely smart for his age. He’s malleable, Bill probably thinks he could shape him uo to be the perfect lackey.

Ford, being the lonely kid he is, probably does fall for the praise initially. He craves attention and Bill pushes all the right buttons and says all the right words, tries and gains his trust even if time has proven again and again that he shouldn’t be trusting the demon.

The tension between the Stan Twins would grow after Grunkle Dipper comes back because Ford is upset that Stan didn’t listen to him (even if it was for the best that he did) and that Grunkle Dipper forgave Graunty Mabel so easily because if Ford was in those shoes he wouldn’t have. It grows more and more as Ford becomes distant and Stan tries to connect with his brother to no avail. Which, of course, comes to a boiling point when Ford says he’s going to stay in Gravity Falls and learn under Grunkle Dipper. Stan is rightfully upset. He can’t go back to New Jersey by himself. It’s always just been the two of them, he needed Ford, he couldn’t handle school or their father by himself. He can’t be alone.

Unlike Mabel who just wanted one more day of summer, Stan wishes that he wouldn’t be alone, which indirectly causes Weirdmaggendon.

Stan’s prison bubble would probably be a fake New Jersey-esc town full of a bunch of little Stans running around. Town O’ Stan. A place where no Stan is left behind.

Ford says some nice words to Stan there to get him outta there but there is still this intense tension between the two.

During the Cipher Wheel Ford is the one who tackles Stan. The two fight, whining out hurtful words neither of them mean and only stop when Bill shows up and captures them. Graunty Mabel and Grunkle Dipper run off and distract Cipher in hopes that they can keep the attention on themselves long enough that their great nephews could come up with a plan to escape.

The younger twins don’t find a way out and instead, finally, have an actual talk about their feelings, one that definitely ends up in tears as the two talk about the pressure that’s put on them or how worthless they feel. After that the boys get a rush of determination to escape when Stanley has a plan. Ford immediately hates the plan but Stan insists that they do it, in his own words, ‘Let me prove I can do something right for once.’

When Bill comes back and threatens to kill either Mabel or Dipper just for the hell of it, Ford calls out that he’d like to make a deal.

He wants to work with Bill, let Bill into his mind willingly. Bill immediately jumps on that offer. Ford is a promising young kid, perfect henchmaniac potential, not to mention it would absolutely devastate Dipper is his great nephew willingly turned to Bill’s side.

He goes into Ford’s head, revealing Stanley just in time to reveal that he was trapped, panicking as he was erased with a swift left-hook along with a kid who was happy to prove he was good for something after all.

Everyone was devastated after Weirdmaggedon of course, a child had his mind completely wiped. Stanford took it the worst, he just managed to finally break down those words that others built in his head, that he was too good for Stanley or that he didn’t need a knucklehead like him dumbing down his brain, and now his brother was gone. Just like that.

We all know what happens after this, Stan gets his memory back, everyone celebrates and the Stan twins are sent home, promising each other that they’ll never let anyone try and tear them apart ever again. Dipper and Mabel stay at the shack, after all, all they could ever want is there, where else could they possibly go?

Sorry this was… extremely rambly and long, I am extremely tired and can’t think straight I have a bunch more ideas and concepts so if anyone’s desperately wants to hear them just ask I guess, sorry you read this dumb of ass essay haha 💥

[mikashisus]

Maybe One Day

SYNOPSIS: kinich was sure about his feelings for you, and he was aware of the ones you harbored for him. yet, there’s one thing stopping him from telling you…

PAIRING: kinich x gn!reader

warnings: slight angst, subtle die jokes

wc: 1.6k

notes: mostly fluff, but u guys know me by now, i can’t ever write anything without angst in it. played thru a bit of the 5.0 quest (NO SPOILERS GUYS!!!!) and i actually love kinich sm. another one of those quiet but gentle characters (๑>◡<๑) reminds me a bit of xiao - and that’s not bc of the color scheme lol. anyw enjoy!

part 2!

Pen scratched loudly against paper as you eagerly jotted down more notes in your journal.

Early mornings high in the canopy of trees were serene and chilly. It was still a long while until the sun would rise, and when it did, you'd return to the villa the locals offered you and continue your work inside.

The sweltering heat of Natlan was nothing to scoff at. You've been to Sumeru before, where there was hot weather all year round. Yet, just when you had gotten used to the heat, the research for your thesis demanded you to go somewhere even hotter: Natlan.

You couldn't handle hot weather. Whenever the weather reached just above what one could describe as 'warm,' you felt like you were going to melt into a puddle on the ground. That's why you knocked out all of your research in the early morning, when it was cooler, and retired to your lodging after the sun rose so you could avoid a potential heatstroke.

Already, you began to feel a shift in temperature as dim light peered over the horizon. It was easy to see the sunrise from here, perched in this gargantuan tree.

It was peaceful up here, and it gave you a wonderful view of the whole of Natlan. You could see King Deshret's Mausoleum from this height, too, and you silently thanked yourself for not ever being interested in his ancient technology.

If you had to stay in the desert for a prolonged period of time, you would’ve found a hole to crawl in and never crawl back out.

On the way to Natlan six months ago, your escort told you that the only way to get there was through the desert. He knew of your great distaste for hot weather, and so he was fully prepared to hear you whine and throw a tantrum over the ordeal. However, instead, all you did was pout and tell him to get a move on and "get this over with."

A cramp formed in your hand, and you had to pause your note taking.

As you massaged your hand, you admired the first signs of light creeping over the horizon and allowed yourself to get lost in the sounds around you: Water rushing from the nearby waterfall, the chirping of birds, the rustling of foliage, and the bellowing of Yumkasaurs. You could faintly hear the whispers of the locals as they exited their houses, though their conversations were incoherent from this distance.

Although the weather was atrocious, you absolutely adored the sights and the sounds of Natlan. It felt lively and bright.

You opened your eyes and looked down at your journal. Five more paragraphs to go before you could rest for today.

"I was told you've been up here for quite a while," a soft voice interrupted, causing you to jump, "didn't I tell you to take more breaks, Northerner?"

Your lantern knocked over, and you quickly reached forward, catching it before it could fall victim to its inevitable demise in the valley below. You were incredibly high up. You could barely see the ground from here, much less where the waterfall beneath you ended.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you placed the lantern back at your side and turned to your visitor, who wore an amusing smirk on his face.

"And didn't I tell you not to sneak up on me like that, Kinich?"

The boy in question didn't answer you. Silently, he joined you at your side, and that was when you spotted the bowl of grainfruits he held in his hand. He offered it to you.

"Breaks are necessary, you know. Especially when working on research papers."

You took a bite out of one of the fruits and sighed. "I'm well aware. But I came here solely for my thesis, not for a vacation. Besides, if I was given a vacation, I probably would've chosen to go—“

"'Home'?" He finished. You nodded.

"Yeah. I would've gone home." Another sigh, longer this time, left your lips.

"You miss Mondstadt, then?" He asked, taking a bite out of a grainfruit and setting the bowl between you two.

"You bet I do!" you exclaimed, flipping back to the first page of your journal. Notes from your entire family occupied the page. You gently ran your fingers over them.

“Before I left Dornman Port, my family gave me this journal and told me to do great things in Sumeru. They even wrote me notes as a reminder to 'keep pushing when times get tough.’”

Your family knew you too well. They knew you were someone who pushed themselves way too hard— an overachiever.

Whenever you felt burnt out, you read their notes, and it gave you the motivation to keep going. To keep achieving great things. To seek the answer to what ‘freedom’ truly meant to you through your experiences.

Kinich was silent for a few moments. He was someone who preferred silence, and oddly enough, you were too. Though, it hadn't seemed that way when the two of you first met.

When you first met, you had just arrived in the settlement belonging to the Scions of the Canopy, and you were just about ready to collapse onto the ground because of heat exhaustion.

Thankfully, you were aided by not only Kinich— who happened to be nearby —but also a few others from his tribe. When you recovered, you complained to the high heavens about the heat, and Kinich was very close to dragging you up Teticpac Peak just to push you off. He already heard enough whining from Ajaw, he didn't need to hear more from a foreigner who never once stepped foot in Natlan.

He was fully prepared to ignore you from that day forward, only to become intrigued when he got a glimpse of your research.

Later, he was surprised to find out you were actually from Mondstadt, the Crown of the North. Not only that, but you were from the far, far north reaches of Mondstadt— Dornman Port —nearing the border of Snezhnaya; And suddenly, all your complaining about the weather made sense.

Although the two of you were mostly polar opposites, you became fast friends, and Kinich's favorite way to say hello was to sneak up on you when you least expected him to.

His interest in you eventually became noticeable to Ajaw, and as soon as that little yellow and green bastard pointed it out one night, Kinich knew he had to lock him away whenever you were near.

He couldn't risk the chances of Ajaw blurting it out in front of you.

He wanted to believe you felt the same way. After all, you would've gotten tired of him by now if you didn’t. That, or you might've stayed away from him simply because he looked a little intimidating. Either way, he was glad you stuck around.

He ignored the voice in the back of his head telling him you'd one day have to leave.

As soon as you wrapped up your research in Natlan, you'd have to return to Sumeru's Akademiya and continue on with your life. Maybe you'd even take a trip back home to Mondstadt to see your family and possibly even attend a festival.

He remembered hearing you talk about one of them, a seemingly important one. It was one that he couldn't pronounce for the life of him, but he loved hearing you say it because he liked hearing you speak in Mondstadt's language.

He wondered what a Statue of the Seven even looked like in Mondstadt. He had never seen any pictures of one, not even a picture of what Mondstadt's Archon looked like. From rumors, he heard the Anemo Archon was completely absent from Mondstadt, and you somewhat confirmed those rumors.

"I wouldn't say Lord Barbatos is completely absent," you said once when he asked, "we believe the wind in Mondstadt is Lord Barbatos himself. So with that logic, he's still with us, just not physically like other Archons."

You sighed softly, finishing off the last grainfruit in the bowl. "Thanks Kinich."

Sending him one of your dazzling smiles that always made his heart beat a little faster, you scooted closer to him and bumped his shoulder with your own.

He raised a brow in confusion. "What for?"

"Everything, I think…” You answered. “For helping me when I first arrived here, for always looking out for me... I'm really thankful."

He was silent, though you knew his silence was not him being dismissive. He was either pondering, or he just didn't know what to say in response.

Eventually, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close. The sudden action made you tense up before you relaxed against him and rested your head on his shoulder.

The sun was rising over the horizon now, and you could deal with the rise in temperature for a while if it meant you got to stay like this with him.

"Don't thank me for anything." He said finally, under his breath.

Maybe one day, he'd tell you of his feelings, because now he was sure of how you felt towards him. But today was not that day.

Time was counting down to the day you had to leave, and he knew he wasn't ready for you to go so soon. Six months had come and gone in a flash.

It wasn't goodbye for good, as you swore you'd come back to Natlan the next time you had the chance— whether it be for research or for a much needed vacation. Yet, a goodbye, regardless of if it was a "see you later" or a proper "goodbye," it still hurt all the same.

Maybe one day, when the war in Natlan came to a close, you could show Kinich around your homeland, just as he did with you. But until that day came, Kinich would wait.

As long as it took. "As long as the wind blows," like you'd often say.

notes: i have a discord server! join if u’d like to chill and hangout! it’s fun, i promise :))

© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.

[johnnyutah]

average adam faulkner stanheight fan: if adam isn’t in saw xi we riot! @lionsgate @kevingruetert @jameswan #adamlives #justiceforadam #corpseinconsistencies

average john kramer fan: What people don’t realize about John, is he’s such a genius that even when he makes mistakes, he planned on making the mistakes. He is the greatest villain of all time

average jill tuck fan: Appreciation post for the Women of Saw 🩷 [the same ten photos that get posted once a week]

average lawrence gordon fan: last night i watched a 2004 tv movie about serial killers called ‘the riverman’, followed by the cheesy family rom-com ‘a castle for christmas’. today my friends and i are going to binge the entire third season of netflix’s ‘stranger things’. none of us have seen a single episode of the rest of the show and we don’t plan on it. then we might rewatch ‘another country’ together

average amanda young fan: sorry i haven’t been online in 4 weeks i’ve been too busy trying to get the new pig cosmetic in the rift [posted 7 weeks ago]

average mark hoffman fan: [underneath a gifset of costas mandylor in a republican christian propaganda ‘sci-fi’ movie] #hes so fucking hot #i would give anything to put him in a sports bra and make him do jumping jacks in front pf me i would literally do #ANYTHING #i need to make him into a marionett and fist him lol

average daniel rigg fan: Here’s a quick low effort doodle I did of Daniel! I just love him so much ❤️ [a literal masterpiece, the best art you’ve ever seen in your entire life] [3 notes]

average allison kerry fan: i am hardcore attached to ONE ship which is probably either allison/amanda or allison/lindsey and my whole blog is devoted to them. there are dozens of us DOZENS

average lynn denlon fan: okay so i know bahar is a realtor now but in her last instagram post where she’s congratulating her son on some new achievement, both the first and last words in the post have 11 letters, AND there’s an X and an I visible in the background of her post 👀?? is this a reach???

average jeff denlon fan: No seriously let me finish seriously when you compare him to the other shitty men in Saw he’s NOT that b

average david tapp fan: i’m 39k away from publishing my 40k tappsing Everybody Lives AU <3 this is going to be epic [account has been deactivated for an indeterminate amount of time]

average brit stevenson and mallick scott fan: Hey I stayed up making this instead of writing my thesis paper for grad school. Here’s a 30,000 word document about the implications of Brit’s promotion within the Marshford group and how it would lead to her eventual demise and also how she rose to the top in her group. It also delves into her relationship with Mallick, whose existence, I believe, is an obvious literary reference to an ancient Roman play read by only me and three other people currently alive. I translated relevant passages and included them in my work. I got understimulated around page 8 so I did take a break to pierce myself in the same spot that I believe Mallick would have a piercing. If you read my fics on AO3 you will already be familiar with the location.

average peter strahm fan: haha peter does CRACK cocoaine haha i think he sniffeds some drugs! why else would he be so MANIC HYPER CRAZY!!! i love my crazy JUNKIE man LOL get him some andderall STAT!! if hoffman didn’t kill him the SPEED certianly would of! LOL!

average lindsey perez fan: i love lindsey perez i’m such a big fan of the character lindsey perez

average matt gibson fan: i literally would eat garbage out of a dumpster

average ezekiel banks fan: holy shit i just finished spiral what a good movie what the hell!!! what a cool addition to the saw universe! i bet everybody else loves this as much as i do! let me take a big drink of water as i check tumblr dot com to see all the nice things people will have to say about darren lynn bousman’s Spiral

average william schenk fan: my hobbies include: being a fujoshi,

average cecelia pederson fan: [pic of cecelia yanking on the metal loop around her neck and smirking] https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vT3f5IIzt5PG-M7G9_Z-gjY4gZaiUneTdMlYrFAcdBGcJo0-N-RDQcj2JfxOaBTxKa6J_DiDQNgqVpg/pub

average logan jigsaw fan: What people don’t realize about John, is he’s such a genius that even when he makes mistakes, he planned on making the mistakes. He is the greatest villain of all time

[moongothic]

Seen quite a few people comment how they believe it's more likely the Dragodile Divorce happened due to ideological differences rather than because Dragon was too straight to stay with Crocodile, and. Like I did suggest that (or at least tried to) in my Crocodad Giga Thesis (really I should've been more clear about it in my essay so I wouldn't be writing this now lol), but like yes, Dragon and Crocodile absolutely have drastically different beliefs on How One Overthrows The World Government. And that absolutely could have contributed to the two separating and/or Crocodile deciding to go his own way instead of becoming a proper Revolutionary

Because like, as I tried to imply in the essay (but failed to deliver); if Crocodile's goal had always been to get Pluton so he could just nuke Marijoa off the face of the earth by himself and end it all in one go, then Crocodile and his way of thinking could work as this, like... contrasting opposite to how Dragon believes things should be done. Some fans (unfairly imo) call Dragon a "fraud" because over the past 20+ years he has only attacked Marijoa and the WG directly just once, and even when he did, instead of doing something to stop their corrupt reign for good... the Revs destroyed... the Tenryuubito's... food storage..? Like. Sure, that'll bother them for a little while, get their panties in a good twist etc, but in the end they're just going to demand more tributes and more free food. The Revolutionary Army may be successfully inspiring more people and more countries to rebel against the World Government's corrupt rule, but the Tenryuubito are still in power and will continue to be in power for a long time. And that's kind of how Crocodile would greatly complement Dragon within the narrative. Dragon being arguably "too soft" with his slow, methodical way of overthrowing the WG, while Crocodile would just kill them all without mercy, even if it meant hurting innocent people in the process. The two would act as the opposite sides of the same coin, the different extremes of the same spectrum. Crocodile would become like a response to the complaints people have against Dragon.

And yeah, the two having such wildly different ideological views could VERY EASILY contribute to a divorce, for sure.

My thing is that... If (and this is an if) Crocodile is meant to go a character arc and grow as a person, if we're meant to see him as a sympathetic character at all and maybe even feel bad for him... It'll be much harder to write that if the Dragodile Divorce happened only because of the two having ideological differences. Like who's going to feel bad for Crocodile if the two got divorced because Crocodile wanted to mass murder people and Dragon wasn't okay with it? That's not a tragedy, that's not a situation where we as the readers would feel for Crocodile and want to root for him. That's not something that would give a character unprocessed emotional trauma to heal from and overcome. He'd just be a villian who'd need to have his beliefs changed.

Where as, if The Divorce was caused by Dragon and Crocodile no longer being compatible due to Dragon being straight while Crocodile transed his gender... Even in the most respectful of scenarios that is a heartbreaking situation, a painful thing to go through. That is a tragedy without bad guys, a story where you could feel bad for Crocodile and want to root for him. That is a situation that would give him trauma to heal from.

And that's kind of why I so strongly believe in Crocodile's transition being a more important, contributing factor in The Divorce. Again, this does absolutely depend on what Crocodile's actual role in the story is going to be and whether or not he's even meant to go through a character arc at all. Like if he's not going to be that important and if he isn't meant to go through an arc then sure, Crocodile's transition doesn't have to matter one fucking bit. But if he is meant to go through an arc, if we are meant to feel bad for him and find outselves rooting for him eventually... From a writing perspective, that'll be far easier to do if we can find ourselves sympathizing with him even just a little bit.

Also like. Yes, you can have queer characters who are just queer for the sake of being queer, their queerness does not have to be an important aspect in them or a huge plotpoint in their story at all. Crocodile could be queer just for the sake of being queer. Because that's what it's like being queer, you just are what you are. At the same time, from a writing perspective. What would even be the point of making him queer if it didn't matter to his character at all and have an impact on his character?

Also while Crocodile and Dragon clearly have very different beliefs on how the WG should be dealt with right now, we don't really know when Crocodile came to his beliefs. Like for all we know Crocodile could've formed his worldview years after the divorce. Hell, based on the way he spoke to Vivi about her ideals, and how we know he spent over a decade in utter emotional solitude, his current worldview could have been partially born from resentment towards Dragon (and his ideals) that's been simmering away over the years.

All of this to say; yes I think the two's beliefs could have been a contributing factor in The Divorce, but from a writing perspective (and based on the direction I personally want to see the story go), I find it far more likely if Crocodile's transition was the main cause, one way or another.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

tips and tricks on writing fanfic if u have any i beg <3<3

i have wrote so much throughout my life but it never feels like it flows right yk? i just want to write my silly characters being devastating with eachother

and you are infact my fav fic writer ever so pretty please <3

(its fine if not lol just may as well ask)

hihi!! sorry this took me a sec to respond to lol but yes ofc i can do my best to help!! and apologies in advance if any of this isn’t helpful/applicable 😓 i’ll put it all under the cut just because i can sense myself rambling in advance why did it end up being an entire thesis

okayyy so the most important thing for me when writing is having my plot and characters be in constant conversation with one another. typically i will come up with a very vague idea for a plot, which will then tell me exactly what kind of main characters i need to write, and from there, i build my cast!! it’s why i’m always afraid of writing characters ooc — typically i take aspects of the pre-existing character from canon and then expand on them so that they fit the plot i want, and sometimes i get worried that that means i’ve changed them too much LMAO.

once i understand what i want from my characters, i start to write. i usually have to rewrite my first chapter a few times as i get a feel for the characters and their perspectives, especially my pov character (we’ll call them mc for the sake of simplicity moving forward). it’s only after i feel like the mc’s voice and personality have been established that i can continue. i like to understand a character well enough that i can intuitively know how they would respond to any given situation. it makes it much easier in the future!! because once you’ve established a character, you can’t change them. i’ll use glass princess as an example because ik you’ve read it — if i wanted to write a slight different story, i could’ve written the mc to be a ruthless killer who has a short temper and resents her brother. however, i then would’ve had to work within the constraints of that character’s outlook instead of the constraints of current mc’s character!!

that’s why i typically only have loose ideas for plots. after i begin writing, i let my characters tell me what they want to do. they usually know what they want better than i do!! a lot of my “best” scenes have been entirely unplanned and based on me just following the characters’ actions to their natural conclusion. i guess you could say i go into each chapter having an idea of what the “inciting event” for the chapter will be — for example, mc runs to the tea shop the day after meeting the blue spirit, but the results of that inciting event are based more on my knowledge of my characters than any preconceived outlining or plotting. along the same lines, EVERY time i’ve had writer’s block with a fic (that was unrelated to me losing interest in the fandom/character/storyline) it’s been because i’ve forced my characters into a situation that they would not naturally end up in. my best example of this is a story i started writing with a very cold main character; she meets an injured enemy soldier who has lost his memories, and the plot was meant to revolve around her nursing him back to health and falling in love with him. however, given her character and the backstory i knew she had, i genuinely couldn’t come up with a single reason for why she would heal him instead of just killing him or turning him in, so i literally abandoned the story 😭 essentially i would recommend solid understanding of characters over a solid understanding of your plot 100% of the time. imo strong, well-rounded characters can carry even the shittiest of plots, but the opposite is rarely if ever true.

that was a lot of theory stuff!! as for where i get my ideas (not exactly what you asked but tangentially related so i’ll add it in here in case anyone else is reading and wants to know), it depends on the kind of fic i’m writing. my favorite fics are canon-verse, and for those fics i try to look for niches in the source material that aren’t already filled and make a character for it. the best example of this that i can think of off of the bat is two of my aot fics — in one, the mc is a member of the military police and the first interior squad, and in the other, the mc is a warrior candidate during the events of the show. both of these roles aren’t really filled by canon characters, so creating these characters allows me to look at plot events in a new light, which lets me expand the fic into something beyond just a rehashing of canon. in terms of au’s…to be honest listening to music is huge for me!! i’ll scroll through tik tok and hear an audio that inspires me, and once i have a vibe for what i want to write, i’ll search for similar songs that help me picture the general aesthetic of the au. the idea for my one bllk fic peregrine was conceived when i heard a snippet of the song welcome and goodbye by dream, ivory, on tik tok!! overall i don’t really like writing straight au’s that much though. idk why but in my experience every time i’ve tried to write an au fic i’ve gotten bored of it much much quicker than i would’ve with a more canon-based story. that’s just me personally though!!! i do loveeee worldbuilding though HAHA the amount of fantasy worlds i’ve created but never written for is horrific.

when it comes to things like grammar, sentence structure, and word choice, the only two things you can do to improve are reading and writing a LOT. at first, you should read more than you write, and when i say reading, it can be literally anything. find what you do and don’t like from all of the authors you encounter, and try to incorporate the pros into your writings while noticing the cons in your own work. it’s not plagiarism! you won’t be able to copy any author’s style completely, and if you engage in enough kinds of works, you’ll become a blend of so many different styles that it won’t sound copied or anything. then, once you’re comfortable mixing and matching depending on what scene you’re writing (maybe for a serious scene, you take references from a classical novel, whereas for a more lighthearted moment, you look at a social media au to see what kind of jokes might land with a broader audience), you can start to develop your own style!! it’ll come naturally as you go. the more you write, the more you will be certain of yourself and the way YOU would write something. the mixing and matching will smooth into one style that flows more naturally and does what you need, when you need it.

my final advice is that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others!! just because your writing doesn’t sound like your favorite author’s doesn’t mean it’s any worse. i’ve read amazing stories that are nothing like my own — it doesn’t mean that mine are worse than those stories, just different. there is a place in this world for every single story!! and it’s inevitable that you will look back on your old writing and cringe. i do!! i cannot read anything i wrote more than a year ago because i’ve improved so much that the old stuff is embarrassing to me. if you don’t push through the fear of cringe, though, you’ll never get anywhere. i’m not sure if you’re planning on posting anything ever, but i can say with certainty that if you do, there will be someone who reads and loves it. there’s people who still comment on and read and love my stories from 2021 that i absolutely despise now (it’s the only reason they haven’t been deleted yet). oftentimes we are our own worst critics, and also, knowing the plot ahead of time doesn’t help (writing suspenseful scenes is SO HARD when you know what’s coming 😭). your readers will love what you write, probably even more than you do!!

i hope that that was helpful and i’m so sorry for writing a literal essay OMG. like this is such a long post 😓 if you have any questions about what i wrote or about a specific aspect of the fic writing process, then lmk!! i’m always happy to help 🫶🏻

[hellsfirekeepsyouwarm]

hi! I just saw your requests are open and I love your writing and was wondering if you can do something with either ghost or gaz where reader is going to school for their masters in communications while working with the 141 and asks them to read their thesis but instead ghost/gaz makes them take a break/go to bed or something? I've been reworking my thesis from this last semester and I'm losing my mind lol....keep up the amazing writing and thank you so much love!

Here To Serve

Hello love! Thanks for coming my way with this ask because i just needed an excuse to write for Gaz. :D Be prepared to be fall in love with this man, i did. I tried to keep it simple, i hope you'll like it.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader

Summary: Gaz finds you glued to you computer, tired an worn out and he takes the matter in his hands.

Uh-oh. It slips out of Kyle's mouth when he stops in front of his flat. He hears the last notes of Rihanna's Umbrella song before some classical takes over, even louder. He can't hear his own keys jingle opening the door, he can hear every instrument from the blasting music, ears already ringing. He can't prepare himself for the sight hat he's about to see.

You are just a small figure on the sofa, completely buried in papers, books and sharpies. And he can't help but chuckle at how lost you look, a manic expression on your troubled face, furiously typing on the keyboard. He's sure if you see him standing there, a smile on his face while you are on the edge of going crazy, you'll bite his head of for being so insensitive. He would watch you longer if the damn music wouldn't rip his brain out.

The room is a mess, and he finds the speaker under another pile of scratched out paper. He just lowers the volume, your head snaps up immediately at the loss of the stimulating background noise.

You look honestly horrifying.

"Oh no. You are home early." You smile, sheepish, almost embarrassed. Your eyes are glossy, makeup smudged over your cheek, messy hair peeking out of his grey hoodie that you are wearing.

You sudden surprise to see him sooner than you thought is quick to dissolve, you start rambling when Gaz sends you that scolding gaze. "Okay, so i had an idea. But that turned out worse than the previous one. So i had to rewrite half of it. But then i realized i may or ma no the original one better, so i..."

"Love.." Gaz puts down the Mexican food he got on his way home, finding his way to you over books and random stuff he wouldn't think about using while preparing for a thesis. Crouching next to you, a soft look easing the tension in your shoulders. "We talked about this."

"But i done it. Seriously." You turn your laptop towards him, to show a folder that was there weeks ago, perfect and ready. "I just need you to read it and tell me what's wrong with it."

Gaz shakes his head with a faint smile. "Oh no, no more of that nonsense. Give it to me."

With that, the computer is out of your reach, his skillful hands stealing it from your iron grip you had on it for hours now. You just now feel your sweaty palms, and an aching back and neck. "No, Kyle, please. I gotta double check if it's okay now."

"You will not do such thing tonight, and if it's up to me, ever." He take the laptop to the other end of the room, saving the folder beforeshutting it down. You want to protest more, but honestly your body is like stone, rooted on the same spot where you sat down in the early afternoon.

He's wearing casual clothes, one of your favorite jacket, that dark brown leather one, his skin is glowing from the wetness of the rain, cologne leaving a scent trail behind. You missed him so much.

You sigh, defeated, you know he won't let you touch anything that is related to your studies.

He walks back to you, your tired eyes searching for comfort in his gaze that he's more than happy to offer with a quick peck on your lips when gets back to you. He brushes the hair out of your face, soft fingertips caressing your skin. He doesn't linger too long, turning to the bag he placed on table, probably finding the only free space on it.

"Hey, where are you going?" You pout, unhappy about his absence in your personal space. He has that calming effect on you, and the loss of it makes your brain tick, circling back to your thesis.

"Uh-uh, do not think about it! I brought food, just gon' grab soda from the fridge and we can dug in, copy?" You nod, starting to arrange the books on the table, pushing everything in a big unstable pile in the middle.

He returns quickly, flashing a wide smile, eyes sparkling with love. You watch him fish out the food from the takeaway bag, the smell of Mexican food hitting your nose. He places mystery food bags in front of, making you wonder what deliciousness is inside them. "There you go, love."

You dive in together, eating in silence, a soft piano and violin duo making some background noise, occasionally letting out some huffs and satisfied hums.

You both watch the other in secret, laughing like teenagers when catching a glimpse of the other staring. Times like this you remember how young you both are, despite the lifes you live. On the field, his youthfulness presents itself as strength in body and mind, in quick reflexes and sharp ideas. At home, he is just a guy, feeding his significant other, making sure they are well rested and cared for. He's an idiot in love.

You inhaled you food while he eats comfortably, no rush in it. So you just memorize this moment, him eating in complete piece, enjoying the flavors, shutting his eyes for a seconds longer, maybe the taste is better that way. You are in awe of how full of life he is, and you would be the happiest person on this earth to keep watching him.

He opens his eyes, the last bite gone too. "Wha?" He's bushing, his accent popping off with the question.

"Nothing." You hold up both your hands, or rather the arms of the hoodie that swallowed your limbs.

Breath caught in his throat every time he sees you in his clothes. Yeah, you wore it ten minutes ago too, when he arrived home, but as your face beams like the rays of sunshine, a stupid smile plastered on your perfect lips, your body hiding under his own clothing, he feels like he's in heaven. His scent hugging your skin, the thought that you are so cozy in his clothes is just intoxicating. Makes his heart skip a beat.

"Come 'ere." That voice, raspy like in the mornings, when hes turned on, or when his emotions strike him at once. He pulls you close to his side, arm hugging you close, securing your body next to his. You snake your limbs over his body, leg hooked in his, arm grabbing his shirt for support.

When you settle, he sighs into your hair, planting small kisses on the crown of your head.

"Thanks for the dinner." You smile, turning our face upwards to meet with his gaze. "And for the distraction."

"Anytime, love. Here to serve." His cheeky smile makes you giggle, oh how madly in love you are with him.

"Hmmm... Well in that case, where the hell is the dessert soldier?" You ask, not able to hide your smile.

"Your dessert is right here, darling." He point at himself, utterly proud of his answer.

You laugh into his mouth, closing that already small distance between your lips, sharing a longing kiss. A kiss you yearn all day.

You break the kiss, trying to be as serious as you can. "But you brought dessert, right?"

He laughs, head thrown back, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Yeah, i brought dessert."

He kisses you with fiery eyes, tenderly, lovingly, the softest way a man is capable of. That dessert might have to wait a little more.

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[snickerdoodlles]

For the author ask thing L and M? ❤️

ooohh choosing violence i see, i approve 😂❤

L. favourite fic of yours?

gonna throw you a curveball here. while i love the question choices, i also don't want to tag someone with a post that's gushing about their story and then in the same breath talk about something i don't like. so! as you all know, i've been into KimChay for A Hot Min, so let's take a min to gush over one of my favorite lil fics that's been around since the beginning of the BOC airing:

reverence is a little collection of KimChay vignettes. it's what i would consider 'old' KimChay fandom because it has a lot of influence from the Filmania kp trailer and novel versions of them, but it still largely reads as Kim and Chay and everything's little snapshots that can be as connected or unconnected as you want to read them (ft the occasional AU chucked in for flavoring). i really like vignettes so it's very happy days for me whenever i feel like dipping my toes back into this fic for a reread 🤗

M. least favourite fic of yours?

i'm not gonna trash talk anyone's fic here, something that's not for me can just be not read by me, and that's that. so! instead i'm gonna call this the continuation of the Kim tea ask, because there was one important take i completely forgot about when answering that question lol:

☕ fic that shit talks WDYS

this includes: every damn fic that had some variation of Chay saying "YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LEFT". tell me you didn't pay attention to the lyrics without telling me you didn't pay attention to the lyrics. Jeff did not pour his blood sweat tears and more into that song for y'all to dismiss it like this. BOC did not completely rework Kim's storyline to include music so that he sung this to Chay as an apology for this. also, similar weird take that goes hand-in-hand with the dismissals: Kim did not """"steal Chay's song"""" -- WDYS is the song they literally worked on together. Kim is helping Chay write it on screen. Kim finishing it as an apology to Chay to explain Why He's Like This is a really good step towards a reconciliation between the two of them actually.

i just. aurgh. it's a fantastic song that is basically the thesis statement of kinnporsche: the series, for all three pairings, and it's just really annoying to see yet another fic ignore all of that to play off the one english line for a cheap shot at Kim. ik a decent chunk of my irritation here is the number of stories vs any story specifically, and it's not like there's ever a limit on how many times a concept will be used, but. ugh. i do not care for it At All.

[fic author asks]

[thestrangeillusion]

a get to know you better meme

Ahhh this took me more than a month to get around to doing, but I didn’t forget about it!! Thank you so much for tagging me @dummerjan! <3 <3 <3

do you make your bed? No, I don’t really see the point tbh, I’ll only be messing it up in the evening again anyway.

what's your favourite number? Umm, 7 I think? There’s not a particular reason for it though. I do have a soft spot for 21 as well for entirely SKAM related reasons haha.

what is your job? I do scientific evaluations of (primarily) government programmes.  

If you could go back to school would you? Hmm, there’s some appeal to that because I didn’t hate school and the structure and routine of it was mostly good for me, I think. But the thought of being a teenager again and being cooped up in a room with 25+ other teenagers for a minimum of 30 hours a week – no, thank you. But if school is meant in the way US-Americans sometimes use it, as in also meaning further education, then I could be convinced. I mean, I still have to write my master’s thesis, so I’m technically still a student, but I sometimes think re-doing my first couple of years of undergrad (and maybe making some better decisions lol) could be fun.

can you parallel park? Nope, I can’t even really drive anymore, I’m pretty sure, even though I do have a licence. It’s more of a glorified ID at this point because I haven’t actually driven a car in like 4 years or so and even before that I honestly wasn’t very good at it (driving or parking).

a job you had that would surprise people? Not really tbh.

do you think aliens are real? I mean I am pretty sure there are forms of life on other planets, since some of them have been found to have inhabitable environments. If it’s intelligent life I don’t really feel qualified to say although, if I remember correctly, one of my good friends who’s doing a PhD in astrophysics and is one of the smartest people I know once made a pretty convincing argument for it (but I have since forgotten what the argument was lol).

can you drive a manual car? Refer to the question about parallel parking above. I learned to drive in a manual car (I’ve actually never driven an automatic), but I’m fairly sure I don’t actually know how to do it anymore.

what's your guilty pleasure? That’s a difficult question. Reading fucked up smut fics is definitely one of them, I guess. Also does pissing away many of my weekends by staying in bed all day and reading or writing fanfics instead of putting effort into having a social life count? Because I also do that and I do enjoy it, but it’s painful whenever anyone asks what I did on the weekend lol. There’s only so many times you can say “Nothing much” tbh.

tattoos? I like them on other people, mostly. My cousin has a full back tattoo in colour and is slowly adding onto it so that it expands to her arms and sides and I always love seeing which new piece she’s gotten tattooed since I last saw her. It just suits her really well and she’s super passionate about the motive and I love that. And I think that’s where the problem lies for me, I just don’t have any motive or phrase or whatever that I am passionate enough about to permanently put on my body tbh. Also, I am scared of pain and needles, so…

favourite colour? Burgundy.

favourite type of music? Ooof that’s hard to answer, I listen to so many different types of music. One genre I’ve liked pretty consistently from my early teens until now is (mostly British) indie rock and alternative rock – I really like Muse, Placebo, Arctic Monkeys, The Libertines and Nothing But Thieves, for example. And I’ve been to quite a few tiny club concerts of that genre because I know I’ll enjoy it even if I don’t know the band or any of their songs beforehand.

And then I also go through intense music phases mostly related to TV shows I love – it started when I was like 13 watching Gossip Girl and obsessively listening to Death Cab for Cutie, Bloc Party and Sum 41 to when I watched SKAM and got very into Norwegian music (the Norwegian singer/rapper Cezinando still features consistently in my top Spotify artists and has done so since 2017). And now that I’m watching Thai BLs, I started with an obsession about Jeff Satur’s music (and listened to nothing else for like 2 months) and am now gradually venturing out into discovering other Asian music (I’m really enjoying WOODZ, Hua Chen Yu and Violette Wautier so far). So that was a lot of rambling, but still barely covers half of what I actually love listening to…

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done puzzles in aaages, but I have very fond childhood memories of doing them with my grandparents on NYE while waiting for midnight. I think I would still enjoy them if I did them now.

any phobias? Not really. Stuff I’m pretty scared of, sure, but no full-blown phobias.

favourite childhood sport? Hmm, in terms of the sports we played in school, I really enjoyed “Völkerball” (which I’m pretty sure vaguely translates to dodgeball, but I don’t think it’s entirely the same thing). The only problem was that I was really good at dodging the ball and never getting hit, but very, very bad at catching the ball or hitting other people with it, so I could never actually end the game by taking out people on the other team either.

I only started in my teens, but I also really enjoyed (and still enjoy) climbing and bouldering. And my family went skiing every winter when I was a child, which I hated at first, but started to enjoy in my early teens when I didn’t have to do lessons with a bunch of other kids tumbling down the mountain anymore.

do you talk to yourself? All the time in my mind, and sometimes out loud when I’m on my own (particularly when I’m frustrated about something).

what movie(s) do you adore? I actually really love heartwarming feel-good movies tbh. One of my favourite movies is Pride (2014) because it just radiates so much joy and solidarity and a will to live and make things better that always lifts my mood. And I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve rewatched Mamma Mia. Another genre of movies I seem to enjoy is movies about female rage a.k.a. women going batshit crazy but being totally justified in it, such as Promising Young Woman or Gone Girl. I do generally prefer watching TV shows to movies, though.

coffee or tea? I get the jitters and become hyperactive in a really uncomfortable way when I drink coffee, so I rarely do. I mostly drink black tea or Mate for the purpose of waking me up.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? Well, according to old friendship book entries, I first wanted to be a princess (until my mum bought me a book about the Habsburgs and I quickly abandoned the idea, which I think was the point) and after that a cook.

Tagging @crumchycow, @mightymightygnomepriest, @salamander89, @fiddlepickdouglas, @obscurecurse

and @lilmaemae and anyone else who wants to do it 😊

[therentyoupay]

HELLO ♡✨

i had a pretty wild two months in that i fell into a job that i wasn’t expecting but couldn’t turn down because it was GREAT, LOW-STRESS MONEY, so overall it was WONDERFUL. but it did result in less writing time than anticipated, naturally. plus, family and friends came and stayed with us for a while, which also resulted in less writing time—not to mention, all of this took place while i was wrapping up writing a paper that will convert into my (second) master’s thesis 😅 so it was pretty wild these past few weeks!! on that note, serious shoutout to @sunshinemellow-fic for being super knowledgeable and cool and having amazing insights into data analysis and python 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏✨

BUT i have been writing like a FIEND these past few days, and accidentally got sucked into writing a brand new one-shot based off the “three-word sentences” prompt post that i reblogged like a week or so ago, which was only supposed to be for drabbles, so i’m clearly back on my bullshit again BUT

i’ve got the next that one night chapter 95% written, my random-ass jelsa one-shot (thank you @aicosu lmao) like 80% written, and i’m off to the beach this weekend, so maybe i’ll finally write for frosted sea glass~!

now that i’m in glorious DisserLand, i’ll only be going to campus once every other week or so, and i shall hopefully return to the days of 2015 when i wrote over 150K words of fic in like under a year, in addition to writing my (first) master’s thesis… only this time i have a home office instead of panera 😂 (but for the sake of caffe mochas i suppose i could also still, technically, go to panera, lol)

HOPE YOU ALL ARE WELL AND WRITINGGG ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨💕💕💕✨✨✨✨💕💕✨✨💕

[biodegradablepoet]

Since when was this an AAA blog? lol.

So, I have a few things to say now after watching the last episodes again. Let’s start off with really the one thing that bothered me (other than the fact that they did not touch up on how Agatha got a hold of the darkhold), and that is the kiss at the end. Honestly, I just want to know the thought process Agatha went through to go from “I’m leaving Billy here to be taken away by Death,” to “I’m gonna kiss her very passionately even though I said I don’t want to see Death’s face and basically initiate the kiss of death and sacrifice myself). What was said calculated risk? And to have Jac say Agatha was using her ability to take magic from other witches. But that only happens when they blast her with magic. Soooooo this is a hole in your logic, love. But I’m not gonna downright insult the writing of the show. I just think it’s weird. It doesn’t make sense. That is a flaw. It would have made sense to simply say it was the kiss of death, period, but to say it was the kiss of death AND Agatha was taking her magic… Yeah, major flaw in lore in my opinion.

Now onto a happier (sad) note. I read somewhere that Nicky was supposed to be made from death. Either it’s a theory that’s been confirmed as Rio being the unofficial parent of Nicky or it’s just a theory that I find beautiful. Nicky being made from death, made to die, made to technically stay with Rio and then Rio allowing Agatha time with Nicky, is just beautiful to think about. I would have liked to see that explained in the show honestly, instead of speculation. If Nicky was made to die, Nicky could have known. He could have had a feeling. Not because we all eventually die, but because his mother quite literally fell in love with Death. In that flashback when he was a newborn and Agatha basically killed those first witches after saying Nicky needs food and whatever, she asks him if he likes that. The baby was silent. It’s obvious in a way that Nicky is accustomed to death, not just because his mother killed a lot of people, but because he was supposed to die anyway. I don’t know how to tie up this thesis, to be honest, but I will say I genuinely like that concept. It bonds Agatha, Rio and Nicky in a way that the show should have shown. If this isn’t just a theory, I would have liked to seen the love Death may have had for her love’s love, their child that was made to die.

[copperbadge]

It was Freud!

So I'm currently studying Psychology and Sociology, and we've just done Freud in Psychology and we've started focusing on identity in Sociology. I'm writing up some homework for the latter when the phrase "a child's personality is set by the age of five" pops into my head. But its not in my notes at all, and it's very specific wording.

I just now realised that I didn't read about in it Psychology, I instead read it in your fic, Ironsides about fiveish years ago now, and it just stuck with me. Some quick googling revealed it was related to Freud's Theory of Five Stages of Psychosexual Development, which we did cover in class but that phrase never came up.

So thanks for helping me learn I guess :D

LOL I was very confused for a hot second, like "WHAT was Freud?" because right before opening my inbox I left a comment on someone's post about leftist mystics asking "Didn't a bunch of British mystics try to curse Hitler? Although if that was Crowley it was ego, not politics" and then the next thing I saw was this ask saying "It was Freud!"

Now, "Sigmund Freud: Antifascist Wizard" would be a banger of a novel, but then I read on :D

For context for readers, there is indeed a line at the start of Ironsides where Peggy, who in that AU is Tony's mother, asks her if she'll always be this way and she replies that a child's personality is set by the age of five.

What's so funny is that I didn't get it from Freud either. I knew enough to know it was a real thesis someone had floated, but I got it from another fanfic, now long since lost to the sands of time, probably an X-Files fanfic. The line stuck with me and I used to think "Well, in that case I'm truly fucked" but like Tony eventually I figured out it wasn't true.

In any case I'm glad I could help you learn a thing! Don't trust that Freud, he might be a wizard.

[francis-writes]

That's totally okay man i don't mind, i like to rant about my theories and observations of characters and i like to see a rant back instead of few words lol it feels like we are writing a goddamn thesis about ramsay and his behaviour haha only if i think and talk about my visas and finals that much i would have a 4.0!

A yes! The thing is I think Ramsay is the type of person who is addicted to attention, any kind of attention really, I think that in the books you can see that his behavior is yeah, kinda because of how he was raised (and made lol) and his sadistic tentacles but also trying to gain his fathers attention and approval. Because you see, his father doesn't actually give a shit about him when he goes away and even when he is with him, but when he does something bad, like killing his Lady wife with starvation, he can capture his fathers attention a little bit, and his father usually insults him and degrade him but hey, attention is attention. So he is kind of an attention whore in some perspective, he is a bastard but people notice him if he is a vicious bastard, so, he is a sadist yes but i think he likes and craves attention, and i dont think it would be so different with a partner, i think him as someone who gets mad and demanding if got ignored by his partner. I think him as a switch depending on the person so if he is in the dominant role he would demand and gets attention with force but if he is in a more submissive role he would get himself in trouble, misbehave and try to gain attention (doesnt matter which type, can be a hug or slap on the face)

And about good attention (like playing with his hair, hugs or soft kisses), i think he would be like the " +the fuck is that? -affection! +disgusting!.... Do it again" meme at first but then he get used to it and want it constantly lol not that i dont think he would be caught asking for it more like when he wants a hug would follow you with a frown until you do it yourself lol

I also think kind of same about OG reek, he was actually sent as a servant, but i think that he saw him as a friend (in this own way) since he didn't have one. And i cant help but think, in the books it is heavily implied that ramsay raped theon, but i dont really remember it was implied for him with other men (correct me if im wrong), and since he was making theon a second reek (he also forbid him to bathe and change clothes because og reek was naturally smell horrible), did he had some sort of sexual relationship with OG reek, i dont know. Damn i ranted too much sorry lol

Don't be sorry! I am actually very happy that i finally have someone to talk about Ramsay with, especially that I started thinking that I got into fandom too late, after his death in TV show and after last publishing book, because I barely could find anyone posting for Ramsay. Blogs focused on him were either inactive or practically deleted so I just thought that I post for myself and maybe a few people, liking my post but not responding. I mean, some of my classic old posts Ramsay x wimpy maid type were still liked, but it seemed that no one wanted to discuss or explore his character further. (like, honestly, i don't even require serious psychological analysis. I love authors who did fanarts like "Ramsay living in the 1980s", "Ramsay having a youtube channel" - here i loved that all the other characters had channels named by their formal names while Ramsay had nick like xxflayedboixx lol. If i remember i saw these on @ivansbadart ; i can't remember where but i also saw "Ramsay if he had only fans". Yeah, i love all the ways of exploring character).

About his father... yeah, at first I somehow believed that when Roose was away fighting, he knew about Ramsay's plan to take Winterfell, but then I realized that Ramsay had no chance to inform him. So Roose was actually like "oh, my only remaining son is dead. Good.". But tbh there was later something about Roose that "he does not love. he does not hate and he does not grieve".

In the topic of good affection, I wrote somewhere before about this, but I considered that he might have a mommy kink. I don't know if my arguments are logical or am i just pushing my kinks on favourite characters lol I'll just put in the screen of that rant:

Also, never worry about ranting. You are saving my boyfriend from hearing my monologues. I recently said that he may make tier list of my fictional crushes, but he would put everyone under F. And he was like "no, i would put them under H, like >get help<"

[sorealis]

Life update no one asked for but I need to rant and I don't want to bother anyone who knows me irl. It got surprisingly long so under the cut it is.

I have been so tired for a year now. It was definitely a mistake doing what I did last year, studies-wise, but at least I'm now a huge step closer to graduating some time. If I ever manage to figure out a topic for my master's thesis. (Anyone want to give me ideas?)

I went to the doctor, he said "maybe it will get better when you don't have to work for a while" and I said "yeah, maybe". It didn't. I was tired the whole summer. But I could still do some things, not nearly as much as I would have liked (like write fanfiction lol).

But do you know what happens when you don't do anything for a while? No money. To get money I have to work. But I can't work and study at the same time. I tried that, the whole of last year and look where we are now. Worst part, my "job" last year was just practice so I don't even get paid for it. I've been living without any income for years now. (When I say "any" I mean not a livable wage. I have a job and I do get paid, but it isn't enough to live on)

I'm not completely without help, however, I don't really qualify for benefits the way things are right now. Soon I will, but I'd rather not because it means I will have to stress about more things. They tell me to "go to work" and I totally would, but a) there are no jobs here, this is a city with 40k students out of 140k total residents, how many part-time jobs do you think there are, and b) I can't work. I could, but then I can't study. If I don't study I won't graduate. I will work for the rest of my life as soon as I have my degree, okay? I just need to get there first.

Stressing about all of this is making me feel even more like shit. And now I can't sleep. I can't believe I told my doctors just a few months ago that "no, I definitely have no trouble sleeping, I just get really tired really easy" and my body was like "would you like to have trouble sleeping, here we go". This would be fine if not sleeping just meant that I'm just equally tired all the time instead of just most of the time. But my eyes hurt and this is where I draw the line. I can't see.

And I know exactly why I can't sleep and why I panic every time I go outside and why I get so tired all the time. And pretty much most of this could be solved if I had financial security. But I don't.

So now my regular doctor referred me to a psychiatrist, because apparently all my complaining sounded a little too much like I have depression. Could be true, but this doesn't feel like the last time I was depressed (as in the last time I was actually diagnosed with depression, which gave me nice confirmation that yes, I'm not crazy and this is actually thing that has a name) Maybe I'm just exhausted trying to fix all the stupid shit my past depressed self did when I thought planning for a future I thought I wouldn't have was stupid.

Here I am. Recently hit 30, which is more than I ever thought I would. I wish I was 22. That's how many years I feel like I've missed living.

Also, definitely the least of my worries now, but I need to stop looking at the stats for my fics, it's not good for the rest of my meager mental health. I shouldn't care so much if people I don't know, and who have probably never once interacted with my fics, want to keep reading. They don't owe me anything but neither do I owe them anything. There's a constant mantra of "you're writing for yourself not them" in my mind these days. (Maybe I'm simply cursed to never hit that 200 subscriptions threshold ;_;)