#I did the art and Bark make the plushies

[its-a-beautful-day]

Luna Rays are now available as plushies!!

Check out Barks-Bog to get your own!

[onmyyan]

hi hi hi 🥺👋 i hope i’m not bothering but omg :’) the delmont brothers brainrot is so real, esp after reading “sharing is caring”, i have so many headcannons and scenarios in my head about them 😭 i’m so delulu for them esp caspian and marcos *bark bark*

ok ok but just imagine the delmont bros with darlings that are athletes??

i imagine caspian with a darling who’s a figure skater, mans is definitely going to go feral, foam at the mouth, and cum in his pants everytime he sees bbygirl twirl and lutz, doing her routine on the ice with her short, flowy, and almost sheer figure skating dress on esp if it shows her collarbones and/or her thighs. 😩👋 definitely gets hella jealous if darling is a well-known figure skater and has fans throwing flowers and plushies at her during the end of her routine but at the end of the day, he know his bouquet of flowers is the only one that darling will accept 😌🫶 100% will cook nutritious and healthy meals for his baby to keep up with her lifestyle and internally screams and gets possessive when darling skates up to him and kisses and cuddles into him after her routine because she’s cold

gabe with a gymnast darling‼️‼️‼️ idk why but it just FITS like the utter chaos that darling will cause because she did some aerial moves or a floor exercise and makes him all bricked up is *chefs kiss*. he’s the type to work out and go to the gym w darling and wipes off her makeup after her competition ends and rewards her when they get home, really testing out how flexible she can be 👀 gets all smug and smirks when he sees his love bites and marks that can’t be covered on his darling when she’s competing, knowing that she’s taken and spoken for already

ricky with a ballet dancer darling *screams*!!! not only is ballet a sport but it’s also an art form and ricky appreciates all art, esp if his darling is the one executing it 😌💗 (we love a supportive mans) referring back to his hc’s, ricky can dance and he just loves dancing with darling, twirling her around and lifting her up in the empty studio where it’s just him and his love 😩😭 feral caveman brain activates when he finds out his initials are written on the inside of darling’s pointe shoes and/or she wears a leotard and tutu in his favorite color during her recital

MARCOS WITH A DANCER DARLING‼️ i don’t think it’s an official sport (BUT WHATEVER LETS JUST SAY IT IS) and just picturing him with a darling that dances and choreographs her own moves RAHHHHH *horny noises* he definitely gets hard watching her moving and thrusting her hips to the music and heaven forbid it’s a song like “you right” by doja cat or “shirt” by sza where it’s all sensual and sexy 😩😩😵‍💫 i JUST KNOWWWW there was definitely an instance where he’s watching darling with hearts in his eyes and high on zaza, a blunt in between his fingers while making grabby hands at darling while she dances to his freaky playlist and teases him AAAWWWOOOGGGAAAA 😤 100% picks darling’s outfits for her dance routines and matches it with the same vibes as the songs she’s dancing to/choreography

manny with street racer darling 👊👊👊 idk if this is actually a sport but whatever, let’s call it an extreme sport since it’s highly dangerous and probably illegal in some places 👀 but anywayzzz, just imagine darling speeding down the streets in the middle of night with cops chasing her down and she blasts the most toxic/fuckboy/fuckgirl music ever like chase atlantic or the weeknd out of her loud ass modified car speakers and places one hand on the wheel and the other on manny’s thigh, gripping it and smirking at him as her car’s exhaust is booming as she’s hazardously merging onto the freeway to curb the cops 😩😭😭😭 manny is literally just turned on by how dangerous and hot darling is, feeding off the thrill and excitement she gives him *SCREAMS*

that’s only a little bit of the brainrot i’ve been having about the delmont brothers but 😮‍💨 the delulu is deluluing omg 🤪 tysm for creating these scrumptious hottie ocs and i love your writing sm 🥺 i hope you have an amazing day/night!! 💗

I adore this soooo much it gave me so much inspiration thank you for sending this in I love it ❤️💗😍

[foxtoy17]

To be a little shit: Every prime number for the NSFW asks >:3c

COME ON

2: I'm fine with eating ass, but I don't like having my ass eaten.

3: I wash my hands every time I masturbate or after sex, so yes.

5: the first time I did rp on here a few weeks back, I had the best orgasm I think I've ever had. I've had sex before but very few times due to anxiety, but something about the experience of acting out a fantasy with someone...

7: uhhh six years, give or take?

11: tongue, both giving and recieving.

13: I've tried putting my own underwear in my mouth while masturbating before, but it was just uncomfortable- the fabric was rough against my mouth and sucked all the moisture from my tongue and made my mouth really dry. If someone shoved cum-soaked underwear in my mouth I think I might like it, but I don't really produce any cum anymore after being on hormones :P

17: No to both.

19: just a boring pair of black boxers unfortunately. I still haven't been able to buy panties or any lingerie.

23: Irl, no. In porn, yes.

29: It's past nine o'clock, and I'm trying to get to bed. As I'm laying face-down and drifting off, a stray thought passes through my mind- a particularly hot piece of art or writing or nude I saw during the day scrolling tumblr, and a shock of arousal shoots through my body, my dick hardening and pressing against the mattress. I try to ignore it, to roll back over and continue falling asleep, but the thought is firmly pressed into my mind, and my cock is straining against my tights, throbbing with arousal- at that point I know I won't be able to sleep until I cum, so I sigh and roll over and open my phone.

First thing I do is take my plushies and move them off the bed and turn them so they can't see me (I am being completely genuine here). I pull my tights and underwear down to my knees, and stick my tongue out to accumulate drool before I let it spill into my palm and start to rut into my hand. I go to one of my trusted sources of material- one of the rp sessions I've done with mutuals, and start scrolling through it. I go back to that fantasy, imagining them there with me, coaxing me and encouraging me to rut into my palm or fucking me hard against the mattress, making me drool and whimper with need- it usually takes me a bit to cum, so I keep rutting and moaning and letting the fantasies run through my head until my pleasure tips over the edge and I grab a tissue to cum into while I bark and hump desperately.

31: Petplay. I know it's the major kink of this account, it's just I didn't really know I was into it until I got on tumblr and having people treat me like a pet and liking it still feels strange. Don't get me wrong, I really really like it, it's just still strange to me >w<

37: No. God I wish I had a dildo.

41: YES YES YES. I especially like even more degrading stuff like cumrag, fuckpet, or slutty fox.

43: I've never done it, but I'm really into the idea.

47: There is no possible way I'm cumming in five minutes- no shame to people who cum fast of course, I think cumming fast is actually really hot. If I only had five minutes I would edge myself to the fantasy of having an owner that shoved a fleshlight over my knot and jerked me off while rubbing my vulpine ears and telling me what a good pet I am.

53: I honestly am pretty boring in my masturbation habits and only do it when I'm in bed and have the time, sorry >w<

59: Ok this is really embarrassing but I've had kind of a crush on one of my friends since high school- he's never dated or had sex and never shown interest in anyone so I've never flirted with him or anything. I'm not pining, I'm happy with our relationship as it is and don't ever want to compromise our friendship, I just also REALLY want him to shove me to my knees and make me throat his cock.

61: Yes, the person mentioned above, though I felt guilty about it.

67: uhh the thing that would probably get me closest to cumming in five minutes is pregnant furry art. Sorry. ESPECIALLY if it's tentacles and oviposition.

71: TW: Heavy mindbreak and objectification. Also I didn't edit this at all so it's pretty trash lmao.

My owner takes their time in locking me into the machine, setting me down softly on the smooth pad that supports my back, then locking my arms down and spreading my legs far apart- my head is locked in last, ears pinned down against my head nervously as they lock the ring gag into my mouth and tie the straps so my head is forced upside down, giving easy access to my tight throat.

They rub gently at my ears, chuckling at the soft whine I give.

"Good kit. You want to be good for your owner, right?"

I can't nod or really move my body at all, so I just make a low moan of affirmation. With that, they really start to set the machine up. First comes a suction tube attached to a fleshlight that they lock over my knot, drawing a low moan out of me at the tightness. I squirm as they guide the large dildo against my ass- not the biggest dildo I've ever been bounced on, but still huge. Lastly is a slightly smaller dildo that they ensure has easy access to my throat before they step away out of sight.

"This'll pinch a bit."

I wince at the slight prick of the IV needle into one of my bound arms, ensuring I have constant access to nutrients and water while I'm being trained (I know you shouldn't or couldn't keep someone alive with just an IV just let me fantasize). With all the preparation complete, I hear the soft footsteps of my owner stepping away, towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow, pet."

And with that, the machine turns on. The dual dildos instantly, mercilessly thrust into my holes, making me gag and choke around the intrusions in my ass and throat, meanwhile the fleshlight starts to suck and vibrate with a hum, drawing a low moan out of me that's muffled by the length in my mouth. The machine starts a relentless, brutal pace- in and out, in and out, my knot engorged inside the toy, my eyes rolling into my skull. Though I can't see it, the imprint of the toys in my guts and throat bulge out my skin, showing how much they're gaping me before they pull out and leave me sputtering and gaping.

It doesn't take me long to cum, my hips trying desperately to hump against the restraints as my knot swells and stretches the toy to its limit, pumping out rope after rope of thick, sticky cum that's eagerly slurped up by the machine. The dildos don't stop for a second, and my whines and moans of pleasure quickly turn to whimpers of overstimulation as I'm fucked through my orgasm- and the next, and the next.

I lose track of the orgasms, my holes sloppy and gaped and mind fuck-drunk when the dildos suddenly stop, halting their pace and holding themselves inside me. A moment later a gush of warm, thick cum enters me from both sides as I'm stuffed with my own seed, cumming again with dumb twitches and jerks as my fat tummy swells. When they run out of seed, they keep going.

The next morning, my owner returns to find puddles of drool and cum and slick underneath the machine, fucked out of my sloppy, gaping holes that were made to fit the toys stuffed inside them. The machine turns off with a hum, and I twitch and cum for the nth time, but with the suction off all my cum just slides out of the toy to soak into my pelvis and drip to the floor to join the puddle already there. I'm cleaned out and off, the IV bag replaced, and my owner strokes my limp ears and chuckles softly at the absolute fucked-stupid look on my dumb face- only the whites of my eyes visible, tongue haning limply and a mixture of drool, cum and tears dripping from my sloppy face to the ground. I'm so overstimulated that my whole body is an erogenous zone, and the light touch to my already-sensative ears milks another orgasm out of me as I twitch and shudder.

My owner switches out the dildos for larger ones.

By the next morning my belly is swollen so full I look impregnated, taut and jiggling with my own sticky seed. All my holes are sloppy, and my mind is permanently fucked empty, all traces of vulpine cunning gone and replaced with pliant obedience, and a complete addiction to cumming. Just to test, my owner traces a finger lightly over my popped-out belly button, and I cum for three minutes straight.

73: okay im normal again. I'm not quite sure what that means? If it means walk around with cum inside my holes, then it depends- not in public, I'm far too anxious to ever be into exhibition, but I think the idea of having a partner that makes me walk around the house with cum dripping out of my holes or making me hold it in my mouth sounds really hot.

79: my fingers :( god I wish I had toys.

83: I'm rerolling this one, I got 50: when did you last have an orgasm and how did it happen? I orgasmed four hours ago because one of my mutuals told me to and I'm a good pet.

89: absolutely not lmao I'm so anxious and I can't flirt.

97: One time I jerked off imagining my best friend from high school dominating me and I felt really bad about it because he's a super sweet person.

God okay @chaos--themralds there you go. I feel like im in highschool again doing essay questions for homework (jk, this was fun and thank you!)

[oranges-arent-fruits-idiot]

this is for the whole system but it's ara rn

lock screen is dirk strider fanart cause he's so babygirl

chocolate we fucking hate cheese

i mean we have like 20+ nicknames but mainly kae (short for kaeso, our system and collective name)

we last listened to joyful girl by ani difranco (it's so good u should check out ani she's epic)

yes we write fanfic for fun sometimes but it's just a continuation of things we like

we are not on discord :/

we have our ears pierced lol

we think someone's long term behavior says a lot about them, not first impressions

we would be a triple chocolate cookie cause we're a bad decision who keeps you up at night ;)

we have had dogs all our life but we like cats more cause they don't bark and we're incredibly noise sensitive

headphones 100% cause it's hard as hell to break them but we don't own any

"is that biblically accurate freddy fazbear?" in response to a photo of a cat with a top hat

weird fact: if bunnies get wet they die

we are a bit of both since we sleep from midnight-4am est and get up immediately but function really well at night

we nap in bed lol

of course we're every flavor of gay what did you expect

insomniac goat child

jeans 100000% we fucking hate sweatpants

we don't go to starbucks but if we did it would probs be a hot chocolate or one of those fucking energy drink fruit things they keep advertising

we can't stand yellow, wdk why

our most prized possession is probs our guitar we named jessicaa. she's our prized possession.

tea 10000000000%

we fucking love mesosaurs they're epic look them up

we've been on tumblr for a couple months now and we intend to be on here til the end of time

we would bring snans unddertheale (there's gregory, why the fuck is he wanting to bring sans.)

our aesthetic is 70's teenage gay canadian bimbo

our dream job is either a:

music/history teacher

sole creator of our different art projects (animated tv show about DID and mental illness, books, other sitcoms, creepypastas, music, giant fucking epic paintings, etc)

criminal justice lawyer

full time engineering/gaming content creator

and/or sole owner/employee of a small plushie/accessory/kandi/cosplay/giant fucking mecha kaju suit making business

a few of us are very taken with the best person we've ever met they're so amazing we're so fucking happy to have an awesome gf. the rest of us are either adult fictives who are aroace/involved with someone in their source or a child.

our fav outfit is a green and blue and brown and white striped shirt with long navy jorts, a brown belt, tall white socks, black vans or converse with handmade platforms soles and beaded laces, a old digital watch our mom got in the 80's, a silk hair tie to tie up our hella long wolf cut/mullet, our crocheted cross body bag with ~15 fnaf keychains, and our fucking awesome kandi collection.

we know all the lyrics to all the songs on our 75+ hour playlist which has 1,400+ songs caus we're fucking crazy

our hair is a dark blonde but we wanna dye it light pink with platinum roots

we talk to ourselves all the fucking time cause we're a system and we also have some alters who are hyper verbal (we think that's the word) who don't shut up ever

we wear makeup sometimes but it depends on who's fronting and what our gender is at the time

best compliment was probably when our best friend genuinely wanted to hang out with us. sounds really sad but the fact that anyone would even like or respect us is fucking insane to us cause we got really fucking bullied lol (sorry to get deep but that's just the truth)

@bloodyraremedium ily /p

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[anderson-residence]

I posted 3,076 times in 2022

992 posts created (32%)

2,084 posts reblogged (68%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@anderson-residence

@alleys-meme-cave

@anderson-details

@wynterlanding

@connorlikesdogsposts

I tagged 3,050 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#lana muse - 759 posts

#ooc: alley talks - 743 posts

#meme - 603 posts

#ooc - 432 posts

#alley talks - 425 posts

#ic - 345 posts

#wynterlanding - 237 posts

#mayson muse - 212 posts

#sumo stop barking at the mail man: memes - 194 posts

#headcanon - 184 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#[ niles / simon ] — ↳ 𝚆𝚎 𝚛𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚜  | 𝚆𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Random Lana headcanons.

Things she likes and loves, the little things about her and the in betweens.

aka adopting a Lana starter pack

Lana loves Disney and Pixar. Mostly leans to Pixar but anything Disney she will check out and watch. Her favorite movies are Toy Story 2 and the first Lilo and Stitch. She likes the Lilo and Stitch cartoon series too.

She also enjoys Pokemon. She hasn't played the games and might not enjoy it if she did and hasn't seen the anime but there are a few Pokemon she just likes so she goes crazy for any plush or toy of them. These are Growlithe and Evee.

She isn't crazy about reading, especially when she has too for school, ugh right? But there are a few book series she loves to read. Can't put down once she starts. These are the Judy Moody books, Junie B Jones, Ramona and Beezus. She's also growing to love goosebumps. Thanks, Mayson.

Lana loves arts and crafts. Glitter, glue, cutting and pasting, popsicle sticks, pom poms, googly eyes, crayons, markers, construction paper. All the things. She also likes to color and draw. From her own free handing on a blank sheet to a coloring book.

Lana likes to run and play outside with friends, they make up games together and can be occupied for hours. Kickball, sports games they’ve made up. She also likes board games like Candyland and , Snakes and Ladders

Video games are not her thing mainly since she hasn’t been exposed to them much but she would love Disney Dreamlight Valley

She is friends with Mayson and Cole, @embraced-chaos David and Jaymie. Marley and Aria are her friends too. She is very social and will strike up conversation with just about anyone so she is acquaintances with many of classmates.

Lana’s favorite food is apples. She doesn’t like biting in a whole apple but will eat as many slices as she can. She will eat anything with apples in it. She also likes chicken nuggets, and macaroni and cheese.

For drinks of course she enjoys apple juice and apple cider. She won’t turn down chocolate or strawberry milk either. She calls strawberry milk ‘Bunny Milk’ because of strawberry nesquick.

Her favorite color is purple but she loves pink as well. She wants anything with those colors. If she sees any toy, clothing, or food item with purple or pink she’s going to want it.

Lana isn’t the kind of kid typically that is super attached to any one stuffed animal or toy. She doesn’t tend to carry around a comfort object but when she doesn’t feel good she clings to a shark plush she got from the hospital when she broke her arm. Her favorite toy is a blue shark plushie and an old well loved teddy bear that’s missing an eye.

She isn't into dress up dolls or Barbies. Or dolls in general. But the dolls of Disney Princesses is always a want. The large dolls, not the small Barbie sized ones. 24 or 28 inch dolls are more her style.

Lana prefers bubble baths over anything else which has lead to problems as she was already prone too having issues so the soap and bubble certainly don’t help her with all the infections. But bubbles are fun darn it!

She keeps her bedroom rather tidy although there is usually some kind of mess on the floor from clothes to books to crafting supplies.

Lana likes school well enough, there’s things she really doesn’t like about it and other things she enjoys. She’s had some bad teachers and experiences such as when she broke her arm or she had her chair taken away but those were both last year. This school year has been going a lot better.

She likes clothing. Just in general. She doesn’t care about fashion but the clothes themselves are interesting. She wants just about every clothing item and style and will mix and match. She is down for just about any outfit. but there are a few that she leans more towards and that’s the more tom boyish styles. She is also most comfortable in leggings over anything else.

Lana doesn't know how to swim. She was never taught and never had much experience around large bodies of water either, so it hasn't been much of an issue. But she does want to learn. Cole is on a swim team and then Mayson and Cole often invite her to the pool in the summertime. She wants to do what her friends do. Of course any kid would want to do what their friends do but Lana, being younger than the boys, tries even harder to catch up and tag along.

If she finds a can of frosting and is left unattended Lana will eat icing by the spoonful or even have each messily scoop dug out with just her fingers. It is a mess that was the first time it happened but has slowly become a problem in whatever household she is living in.

Lana often forgets her jackets at school or at friend's houses. Which can sometimes lead to her not having a jacket on hand in the mornings when she has to get off to school

12 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#4

13 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

#3

// I have nothing in my inbox and only a few replies to get to (and a few other things) so feel free to send some things in for me to write a drabble/short story with or for us to use as a starter. Can be random! Or also check out these memes

Fall Themed Prompts

Rainy Day Prompts

Your muse guards mine or mine guards yours

Your muse finds out mine is a werewolf

Your muse finds out mine is a vampire

15 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

#2

@anderson-residence

Multimuse fandomless ocs

Loved by Alley

Navigation/Rules

19 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Indie selective rp blog

22 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[tinandabin]

Papa Muzan and uppermoons

Join my discord!!

( where I found this picture- )

( go to page four in the old category )

↑

Douma had done the same to you in the picture above to assert dominance and also to threaten you. Don't worry, he wouldn't actually drop you there. 

So, whenever you get a bit too excited, sad, happy, anything. A little bit too much of any emotion, and poof! You are a kid now. And how to make you an adult back? The best option is to tire you out yet it doesn't guarantee 100% success. 

BUT ANYWAYS.

So you got too excited over finally being able to get out of this hellhole they call home and bam you are a kid. 

And well, as soon as that happens there's only one goal on your mind. Find papa Muzan. 

And so you jump through the infinity castle forcing those doors to open and falling on your bum a lot of times. And you successfully cause enough noise for a biwa string to ring out!! C:

And then you can see Muzan in his female form holding a kid reader on his hip while barking out instructions for the uppermoons while you are playing with his hands. You also plucked out one of his nails but he didn't care nor did he feel it 

Too strong for his own good.😔

And very sadly for Muzan, he has got some business to attend to which is just taking care of his human family so he very reluctantly drops you in the care of the uppermoons. That has been his biggest regret ever since. Nakime isn't an upper moon currently.

And there you can see Akaza playing with kid reader with the toys Douma made with his blood demon art. <3

And there's daki using her obi to make the toys fly and create a whole ass puppet show for you. 

While Daki sent her dearest brother to go and buy some cute plushies and clothes for you. 

And Kokushibo is using his breathing techniques because those crescent moons really amaze you for some reason. 

And well, Muzan doesn't at all allow Gyokko or Hantengu near you. As a kid that is. He also has absolutely forbidden Nakime to show you her full face, also he allows Kokushibo to only be near you if he only keeps one pair of eyes open. 

And let me tell you one thing, TIRING YOU OUT IS NO EASY TASK.

You aren't a demon for nothing. It takes them weeks to even get you to feel sleepy. 

And guess what? When you feel sleepy you feel all the more determined to not sleep. 

So it's a disaster. 

At first, all of the uppermoons which are allowed near you would team up to tire you out. 

It didn't work. Because if you get bored of one of the things an upper moon is showing you, you just Scooby-Doo the fuck away from them and go to another upper moon. 

And so they decided to take turns. Each one of them would be given a week to make you fall asleep, whoever succeeds can be seen rubbing it in others' faces.

And so first of all we have Douma! 

He takes you to his cult leaving it to his worshippers to tire you out. And well, they are human you are not. So at night, they can be seen sleeping. 

While Douma has eyebags under his eyes. It doesn't matter if he is a demon and doesn't need sleep. You, my dear, have the power to make the uppermoons cry. 

He plays with you LITERALLY every SECOND of the DAY. 

And little do they know you feed on the way they crave sleep- 

Cut that line out. We can't have our top-secret out. 

And well, after his time is over you can see him sulking in a corner in the infinity castle while Akaza is smirking and patting you on the head and telling you how you should make Douma suffer more- 

And then comes Akaza's turn. You can't tell me he isn't good with kids. Don't worry, Douma is too. 

And well, Akaza acts like that overprotective mom.

First of all, he would start by playing with you for 2-3 hours and then take you out for a walk or something. 

And then he would steal some cash and buy you something to eat- 

And then he very reluctantly would let you swim in a lake or something. I mean, you can't blame him. You have drowned once or twice, no biggie.

He would basically let you do whatever the hell you want. 

And then he would ask you if you enjoyed the day and then say that if you go to sleep he promises to let you again do whatever you want tomorrow. 

But well, you were like. If I don't sleep this day won't be over and that means I could do whatever I want forever! 

And Akaza too fails. 

Then comes Daki and Gyutaro's turn. Daki would probably take you to the red-light district and would show you so many things over there and would also become as childish as you so it all depends on Gyutaro now. 

I feel like he would let you do your thing for the first few days but when you don't even fall asleep and he also had dealt with his sister so chances of him making you fall asleep are better than the others. 

He would talk to you about random things and answer all the questions you ask and your throat does NOT feel at all tired from speaking so much but Gyutaro's sure as hell does and so at last they both too fail.

Also, I feel like Gyutaro would tell you creepy horror stories hoping you get scared and sleep.

And then Kokushibo. I bet he would try to bore you out and stuff by telling you very old stories.

He would probably also tell you all about breathing styles and stuff thinking your kid brain won't store this information but sadly for him, your brain does the opposite of what others want. So now you know everything about breathing styles. 

And boring you out is really no option because you ask the most random questions and make it interesting and turn this boring lecture into a strange conversation. 

And so he too fails. 

And there comes Muzan. After a month, they still weren't able to make you fall asleep while you looked ready to conquer the world. 

And well, Muzan has not allowed any one of them to do this, NUH-UH. He also tries to avoid doing this but well, he kinda drugs you into sleeping. But sometimes that shit also doesn't work and so he calls Enmu, lower rank one and orders him to use his blood demon art on you which works.

And after a month you are finally asleep. 

If you squint closely you can see kid reader sleeping on Muzan's chest while he holds them close. <3 

Bonus:

After getting a good rest, Douma sneakily comes into the room Muzan and you are sleeping in and well, he wants his revenge because you stole HIS SLEEP. And so he proceeds to attack you with tickling. 

Next scene you can see kid reader on Akaza's shoulders as he laughs nervously while in the background Douma is getting beaten up by everyone. Nakime included. 

Now wanna know an easy way to make the reader sleep? Only Tamayo knows this.🥰

Just sing Tili Tili Bomb lullaby to the kid reader. 

Honestly, that lullaby is so hauntingly beautiful I love it. 

My friend introduced me to it.

Thanky friend, if you are reading this. 

You can listen to the English version of the lullaby here- https://youtu.be/sTKXk0rJwvA. 

( where I found this picture- )

MASTERLIST

[yoshkeii]

can i request headcanons for atsu with a chubby (not fat or overweight, just kind of round or pear-shaped) gender neutral reader? like the kinds of date they go on, how they live together, the ways they support each other (maybe a little bit of nsfw if you're comfortable?)?

- ☕

࿐ character(s): Atsumu Miya

࿐ genre: sfw, fluff

࿐ type: headcanons

࿐ requested by: anon

⌦ chubby gn!reader (they/them)

⌦ art used as the header: kkumri !! (love their work a lot.) if i need to take down the header, i will and change it to something else if needed.

A/N: i don't do nsfw/suggestive here on this blog anymore, so you could probably request it on my thirst blog which is found on my navigation post if you are still interested <3

but i hope i did this okay !! i havent written in sooo long and this is my first one for chubby reader so i hope i did okay :'] *runs away*

→ honestly, i feel like Atsumu would give no fucks on your body type. he's genuinely in love with you on how you are, no matter your looks. practically will praise you a lot if your mind wanders off negatively.

→ self-conscious about it? he'll definitely know that and will fluster you with compliments and such. even if he's practically yelling about it at some point... he has no filter sometimes, especially if its about you- his lover !! he loves you so much :((

→ definitely thigh guy (shit me too man.)

→ though, if you get too overwhelmed with his flood of compliments and praises, he'll definitely try to take lil'baby steps with you to feel more confident. always there to reassure ya.

→ your number one supporter in shorter terms-

→ i feel like he tends to avoid a lot of public dates- just to be cautious if you get too insecure. but conversate with him, he'll definitely listen to you on your ideas of dates. though- he's really easy to persuade due to you having his heart in such a grasp. hah- he's smitten tbh-

→ sometimes likes it when you dress up when you go out on dates. you'll catch him staring with his mouth open like an idiot. guaranteed.

→ either that or him covering his face with his hands, fingers moved to just see the slightest of you. his face flushed. flustered atsumu-

→ definitely loves cuddling with you- its kinda his excuse to give him a moment to just take you all in. hope you enjoy being stuck with him for a moment... or longer than a "moment".

→ first thing he would do is just pinch and/or poke you- as in instinctual thing. but eventually would continue to get a cute reaction from ya.

→ surprises you a lot whenever he picks you up randomly- its one of his favorite thing to do besides the long-lasting damn cuddling.

→ his favorite pillow. favorite teddy bear. plushie. you fucking name it. you are his favorite thing to cuddle.

→ TEASES- SO MANY- but he tries not to be too excessive with it... key word tries. he loves to make you flustered, dear.

→ lowkey will gently peck your rolls. would squish his face against you at any moment he can. just the pure adoration on his face. his expression.

→ Atsumu, I must say, adores you so much. Genuinely head over heels for you. He loves you as you are. No matter looks. Appearance. He just loves you. Sometimes he's- doubting himself even if he could deserve someone just as much as you <3

→ But if you are doubting yourself on that Atsumu is way out of your league... You're wrong. He will honestly bark out reasonings why you are so perfect n just so- grararara anyways,, go off Atsu-

[liyuee-qixing]

How do their room look like Harbinger HC

Just full crack. I think someone do this already I'm heavily inspired by them to make my own hc😭

Character: scaramouche, Sandrone, columbina,IL Dottore

warning for gore but I didn't fully specifically describe it

Columbina

She sometimes chew on your arm,she doesn't bite though.. it just a bit concerning 😟😟,she chew on everywhere,your door,shower head,your jacket,the window,her plushie..

She have 47 soda cans laying on your both room without a reason,she also have another harbinger belonging in one of her desk,she mark it as 'the chewing mark Champions' whatever that mean..

She's like sleeping beauty so she have so SOOO much plushies laying around,some of them is really scary though,I mean in my opinion no one with a sane mind have a voodoo doll of the eleventh harbinger

She'll make your both room like a dollhouse,painted in pink or any pastel color and gave it pretty ribbon on the wall. Along with her knife collection that she label as "killing weapon hehehehehe"

1/10 would not life with her nor marry her

Sandrone

She'll have a random Katheryne arm laying around on your both room and she'll label it as "funny ass grabber"

She also have tons of gears laying on your bed and bathroom. There is also a fish wall decorations that sings snezhnaya National song in the most hell abyssal shit tons voice possible it sound something like

"for our queen- AUGGGHAUDKAVJ*broke*" AND THE WORST PART IT RANDOMLY SING AT NIGHT. AND SANDRONE DID NOTHING ABOUT IT DESPITE BEING A VERY SMART AT MECHANICAL ENGINEERING

She carved the soap on the bathroom to a hillicurl or smug face for fun.

Her room also look like a dollhouse but dark and filled with machine

There also a corpse with very dirty make up on her face.

2/10 weird.

Il Dottore

FUCKING -100/10

there is a lot of machines and doll part than he just throw away. He sometimes label it like "thigh worship item" or "funny killing machine" or just straight up "hehehehe"

He has a photo of someone he hates with a knife stabbing it.

There's a blood splatter under his bed and his mirror,when someone ask him what causes it he just said it was an accident

He has a Needle and mask hanging on his cardboards that he label as his achievement, there's also a my little pony fan art he made,he'll bark at u if u said my little pony isn't real

He ironically label everything in his room(he also label u at ur forehead) and all of them is labelled very weird "The very funny tickling feet machine 6079" or stuff like that

He have weird competition with Columbina to see who chew on random things the most,columbina score 5098 Dottore score 5076

He bites on ur arm too

Crimes against humanity

Scaramouche

Also crimes against humanity 1/10

He has lot of bloody knifes on his wall it painted some spot of his walls red.

He has murder list of people he wanna get rid of

1. Mom

2. Mom pink fox

3. Shogun

And it just goes on..

723,895. Myself

He's kind of weird tbh😭, someone cure his mommy issues and identity crisis (I can't be his mother figure but I can be his mommy figure)

There also a dead bird on his windows. And also there's a katheryne arm laying on his floor that has note saying "if u lose ur arm u can use my ass grabbers 567-69A CV Android"

He has self of potion and a pack of milk powder that he slurp like nicotine when he's stressed.

He has a black cat he named fandango (he don't actually name him fandango but Childe and other keep calling it fandango so he continues to call it fandango) who is just like him,shitty and grumpy

But his bed is incredibly nice and comfy tho

2/10 pity poin

I don't remember when I write this tbh,enjoy???🥳🥳🥳

[alonelysimp]

Hi can I participate in your event?? I really wanna try doing match ups and its my first time so I'll try my best to word things out ehe <3

So my pronouns are she/her and I would like to be matched with a male (romantic pls :>) my bti is INFP-T, I don't know what enneagram is tho but do you think this is enough? (Hehe)

Things I like are painting/art, books, the beach or some grassfields where there are flowers etc, plushies, food, staying up til 3 am, gaming, horror movies, creating/fixing my wardrobe and such :>

Things I dont like are annoying stuff? Idk how to put it tho, but If i dont like something my guts just tells me to "no just dont"

I don't have a character that I'd like to be excluded anyone can be fine :>

Also I'd like to add, I tend to push people away whenever I get sad or when that depression just kicks in and I have to cut off everyone in my life and return the next day as if nothing happened and just went back to being my usual self, I also tend to laugh a lot and I listen and observe very carefully as to what people do and I don't really share that much because I like seeing the people I like to talk, But if I get worked up over something I can't stop talking and I have to apologize for sharing too much (unless if Im comfy enough to the person im sharing)

I think thats all and I hope this helps tyvm :>

Your match is...

Albedo!

Picnic dates in fields where you end up staying for hours, either painting together or reading

He likes it when you stay in his lab. You can’t exactly do much (lab safety protocols <3), but he enjoys your presence.

Just in case something bad happens (spill, overflow, more violent reaction than anticipated, etc.), he knows he can trust you to help him out.

His handwriting for his notes and reports isn’t the best, per se, so he often comes to you to help double-check the information/help rewrite it since you’re one of the few that can actually read it.

Modern AU, often streams with you. Late-night horror game streams, if you don’t mind them.

Beware, he might try to scare you after <3

“Bedo- I can’t reach. Can you summon a flower or something?” One of your hands stretches up to reach his, which lazily hangs by his side. He makes no effort to grab yours, only reticently smirking down at your form. “Little gremlin. How did you climb that so fast,” you grumble, falling back down on your heels.

“Love, are you having some issues?” He creates a platform under your feet, which carries you to a height where you can comfortably sit on the branch of the massive oak.

“And here you go, “ you hum, handing him the bag of supplies he insisted on bringing. He smiles and takes it, rummaging through it for a few seconds before pulling out watercolour paper and a pencil.

“Are you gonna draw, Bedo?” The bark catches your pants, making you struggle a bit while scooting over to sit against the trunk. A smile spreads across his face watching you and he nods.

“I wanted to use the watercolours you gave me a few weeks ago. It’s a shame I haven’t found time until now.” The bag sits precariously on the branch, even if it is wide enough to fit both of you side by side. You pull it closer by the straps, pulling out your book and hanging it off your knee.

“This won’t work,” you mumble, crossing your legs to trap it between the branch and where it now hangs off your thigh. A satisfied hum escapes your lips and you crack open the book to the page where the tassel hangs out.

Albedo makes spring all the more beautiful, no?

[coolchevistianofficialsite]

Sorry for that ask on Amphibia merch (only ask I sent, I swear), I only brought it up since you've mentioned BCG having merch and just wanted to give potential news, sorry for coming off as annoying. To make it up, what are your favorite episodes of Harvey Beaks and Chowder (shows you loved that deserved better treatment in your eyes)? And what do you mean by Disney Schedules asks? Is it asks from that person or something else? I know annoying DT anons (not one btw) are ones sad about it ending.

Oh i should be the one who saids sorry but really 90% of the anon asks are always on both DuckTales and Disney Scheduling and im really tired on it, i assume this anons really want me just to say: Disney Schedule = BAD and with DuckTales well they still want me to beat a dead horse on how it was handled it

For Amphibia merch well i hope we get some books like Big City Greens and The Owl House ones just to test and maybe just maybe in a near future guide books like The Magic Book Of Spells and Journal 3 and official Sprig Plushies on Disney Stores or at least give us a ,Magicband at the Disney Parks with some early PNG Key Art like they did with Gravity Falls, the sad thing is if you're not a Disney Junior Show (WAIT HECK EVEN Disney Junior Shows only get 1 year of merch) chances of getting official merch are 10% let's hope The Ghost And Molly McGee, Moon Girl And Devil Dinosaur changes everything with its trademarked merch

Favorite Chowder Episodes

Chowder's Babysitter

Hey, Hey It's Knishmas!

The Hot Date

Shnitzel Quits

The Deadly Maze

The Apprentice Scouts

Chowder Loses His Hat

The Apprentice Games

The Birthday Suits (Fun Fact: Craig McCracken worked on this one)

Favorite Harvey Beaks Episodes

Pe-Choo!

The Spitting Tree

The Rentl Bike

Comet Night

Randl's Scandl

Night Maid

Harvey Fights Kratz

Bark Kart

Harvey's Favorite Book

Certified Babysitter

The Sleepover's Over

The Rebel

Nightclub Night

Double Digits (This one was relatable this year when i had one existencial crisis)

Steampunks

Bag of Naughty

It's Christmas, You Dorks!

Rockbark Rocks

Ocean Promotion

Harvey's Pet

The Bad Seed

Alone

Grand Motel

Rage Against the Michelle

Hair to Help

Ocean Promotion

Later Dingus!

The Blister

Secret Gordon

The End and the Beginning

[ultraclops]

I Can't Think Of A Creative Title [Mao Mao Spoilers]

SUGAR BERRY FEVER

BULL MONSTER? YEEHAW GIDDY-UP

Oh the Hero's Code IS a real book! Made by Mao's family no less! Cool

I'm gonna say it now. The pirate aunt's kinda cute.

I don't know much about cobbler but I'm pretty sure you don't put it in a trough

*screaming interspaced by cobbler eating*

Why exactly is eating cobbler against the Hero's Code? Did the first person in the Mao clan really hate cobbler or something?

"If I could have that cobbler, I would do things to it that would make my ancestors cry in shame." JESUS CHRIST HOW'D THEY GET AWAY WITH THAT

"Buuut I can't!" Am I the only one who thinks he sounded like Thomas Sanders when he said that

"Has anyone told you that you have issues?"

(Mao ominously hovers into the kitchen with glowing eyes while creepy wails play in the background) Nothing to see here.

The thing Mao's eyes do when he goes 'Oooooo' like if you agree

Apparently Badgerclops' biggest fear is 'crushing self-doubt'. Oooooo.

Tbh I had the same reaction as Mao when the cobbler started talking

I don't like where this is going...

UNCLE JIM-JIM?!

OH NO IT'S THE SCRIBBLY EYES

Okay but if Mao passed out in the kitchen how'd he get in the living room? Badgerclops couldn't have moved him because then he would've known he ate the cobbler

And that's, what, the second table Badgerclops has destroyed?

Cool, HQ has security cam - oh nevermind.

If Badgerclops and Adorabat saw the cobbler on Mao's mouth why didn't they assume he ate it? It wouldn't be there otherwise

"Ah know ah wooould :)" Sassy Adora

"And you're going by yourself. That's okay, I'm emotional anyways."

NYAAAMN NYAAAMN NYAAAMN

So the Sugar Berry Fever is literal? Like, an actual condition caused by eating cobbler? Is that why it's against the Hero's Code? And why didn't Badgerclops and Adorabat get it?

DOUBLE JOINTED BABEY!!

BEARCLOPS HAS RETURNED for like 2 minutes.

I know we makes jokes about Mao going feral but he ABSOLUTELY went feral in this episode. CBS incarnate.

Ok that's really sad. Why would you make a child destroy the thing they love and force their siblings to watch?! At least one of the sisters looks a little hurt over it.

Aaand the Bull Monster's back of course. And it has the fever too? Suspicious.

I don't wanna say where my mind went here but you probably know what I mean

ADORABAT BARKING I'M

B!TCH WENT SUPER SAIYAN - I mean GOLDEN TRUTH

If only fighting your demons was as easy as shoving a cobbler down their throat.

Are we gonna see Golden Truth Mao in the future? I like the he

Mao probably crashed the moment they got home ngl

CAPTURED CLOPS

Those stealth boots look like weird cleats.

"Stealth boots aren't toys." "Then why are mine colored like toys?" "I found them at the toy store." Isn't that a contradiction-

He used to be a villain what did you expect

HE DIDN'T SAAAVE

If BC's chores are fixing the Aerocycle and grocery shopping, what do Mao and Adora do?

"I need to be away from you right now before I LOSE IT on you." Is that a callback to The Truth Stinks or Legend of Torbaclaun? Both?

Yay another BC song, with some casual boulder-chucking

Aww the Sky Pirates are swimming together. Fambly.

BADGERCLOPS GETTING ATTACKED BY A TITMOUSE IN THE BACKGROUND ASDFGHJK

Yes, follow the cute but suspicious puppet that totally isn't trying to murder you

What's with the glowy eyes and creepy autotune?

So running away and cry-singing into a lake is normal for Badgerclops? Damn why isn't HE in therapy

MOM-MOM

You heard it here folks, BC is canonically depressed

That was quick

HOUSE MUSIC ELECTRONICA! And can we get uhh Orangusnake in the 90s?

Dang they still don't have any food? What happened to Mama Ratarang's meatballs?

ORANGUSNAKE WHAT THE HECK

I know it's supposed to be kinda sad but the imaginary food is really shiny.

So he'll fix the Sky Pirate's ship but not the Aerocycle? Priorities, priorities...

Mao and Adora Have Become Ninjas

HOSS WATERBOARDING THE PUPPET I

*Jaws theme*

"I love house music!" Trust me, I know.

DON'T HURT YOUR CO-HERO AND KID BC LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS

They're gonna take the Pure Heart? Weren't they trying to destroy it a couple episodes ago? Oh god what if Badgerclops DID get the Ruby Pure Heart's powers... that'd be scary

I can see the Badgersnake fics now

Mao fixed the Aerocycle - oh nevermind.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION

"How'd you get over here so fast??" "Badgerclops, I walked over here. Casually." Reminds me of a girl I used to know.

Hmm. Should've known the Sky Pirates not eating anything would've had side-effects

So the Sky Pirates could've just. Bought groceries. But chose not to.

"Aren't you forgetting something BIG?!" "*sighs* Thank you for having me" I mean at least he's polite??

How'd he manage to plug the ship into Benny and Penny's house though? And how'd it WORK?!

"Those guys are a little too relaxed" -cuts to the Sky Pirates panicking-

FLYAWAY

Aww, family training exercises - OH NO ADORABAT

Nevermind she's okay she just chipped a tooth.

'Physics...recital?' Do 5-year-olds even study physics? Is Adorabat a child prodigy?

Adorabat can face giant monsters but can't stand the dentist? Is she secretly Goku?

Aww, Mao still has one of his old plushies and he kisses it

I like that book it looks like there's a gemstone on it

Meditating Melvin, because you can't have enough alliterative names.

STAHP IT >:(

(Insert ASCENDED meme here)

Adora: *masters a technique that should take years* ight i'mma head out

WHY WOULD YOU DROP HER FROM THAT HIGH? BAD PARENTING BC

OH GOD THEY'RE GONNA KILL HER. good thing her soul isn't in her body huh

Oh look it's the Meditating Melvin guy. And he gives me strong Wander over Yonder vibes.

Being in the Astral Plane causes you to lose your memories?? Dang Adora better get out fast

Time for a song that TOTALLY isn't a desperate cry for help!

Bugs, smoke bombs, and popping balloons with pikes. These are the things used to summon Adorabat.

Wait, how come Adorabat doesn't feel any of the pain she sustained when Mao and BC were trying to return her soul to her body?

Yaaay Adorabat got over her fear and is ready to go to the dentist - OH MY GOD THAT IS UNCALLED FOR

THAT ENDING I

Wait a minute. If Mao said the technique took years to master, but Adorabat and Badgerclops both achieved it in under a day...does that mean they're more spiritually inclined than him or there's something preventing him from ascending?

BAOST IN SHOW

If I'm honest, I misread the title as 'Boast in Show', which made more sense at the time.

Why is Snugglemagne playing discus by himself though? Where's Quinton?

OH $H!T IT'S BAO BAO

Snugglemagne: it's free dog (and royal pet show)

"You're my new best friend!" Ooh boy.

"If he leaves me a third time, who knows what could happen? I might explode, LITERALLY" Mood

Literally everyone in PHV knows Badgerclops, how does changing his ear shape and putting on a leash count as a disguise. The guards could tell who Penny and Benny were why not him

Adorabat has a pet fly asdgdgffkh

Hey Chet's back

I don't want to imagine all the weird fanart and fanfics that'll come from this scene. Actually from this episode in general.

Whoever wins keeps Bao AND BC?! WHAT THE F-

Aww bento - OH NO ADORA ATE THE FLY

THAT 'DON'T STOP ME NOW' PARODY

IT'S THE SUIT FROM THE CONCEPT ART!

"I'm not actually a pet." "I know." Then why didn't you say anything??

Yay, Mao and Bao are reunited - nevermind Bao just wanted BC's snacks.

HE ACTUALLY EXPLODED and took it shockingly well I'm surprised

Well Mao, you did it. You pissed off Snugglemagne again.

Those combo attacks are freaking GENIUS

I'm tempted to make a "Long live the king" joke when Bao Bao bites Snugglemagne's arm

"I TOLD YOU HE'S TRAITOROUS"

At last, Mao truly forgives Bao and is willing to let him go

"Until next time." Is Bao Bao gonna come back??

Snugglemagne tortures people by forcing them to listen to his harpsichord? Does that even count as torture? And is Mao gonna get them out?

[tetsookie]

Hey, hey, hey, Eiri-chan @schion ! Surprise, it is I, your HQ Valentine’s Day Person for @hqvalentineexchange ! XD I hope you have a lovely birthday, you absolute darling~!! <3

Title: Dinosaurs, Strawberries, and Everything Kei Rating: Teen and Up (for swearing) Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji Summary:  In which high school romantic Kuroo struggles with the first Valentine's with a certain hot blonde nerd. Even though Kuroo has no gardening experience whatsoever, gifting his boyfriend some homegrown strawberries shouldn't be too much of a struggle, right? ...Right? (Also on Ao3!)

"Bo, what does Akaashi want for Valentine's?"

Bokuto looked up from his phone at Kuroo, brows furrowing. "What?"

"I asked what Akaashi wants for Valentine's."

Bokuto stared at his roommate, sitting up straight and putting his phone aside. The two were lounging about in their dorm room on the first Saturday of January. "Why do you want to know what my boyfriend wants for Valentine's? Kuroo, are you going to hit on Keiji?"

"No, no, no," Kuroo chuckled, waving away the mere suggestion with his hand. "I think Akaashi would probably shank me with whatever present I'd even think about getting for him. Fortunately--or, maybe unfortunately for him, I'd like to preserve whatever life college hasn't sucked out of me."

"Then, how come you're asking about a gift for him?"

"Not for him, no," Kuroo mumbled, running a free hand through his hair. "I want to get something nice for Kei, but I'm not sure what to get him. I'm looking for ideas."

Bokuto blinked. "Why don't you ask Tsukki what he wants?"

Kuroo grimaced, looking back down at the unfinished drawing for his medical illustration class. "I did."

"And?"

"He doesn't want anything in particular. That's why I was asking you. I mean, aren't you and Akaashi still together despite your occasional blunders? You've gotta be doing something right."

"Hey--" Bokuto protested angrily, chucking a pillow in Kuroo's direction, the latter deflecting it easily with a smirk. "Maybe I shouldn't help you at all, jerk."

"Sorry, sorry," Kuroo bit back a bark of laughter, clearing his throat and swiveling around in his chair to meet eyes with Bokuto. "As the more experienced man in love, please give me your wisdom, oh, wise, Bokuto Koutarou."

Bokuto seemed to swell at the compliment and he hummed, eyes trailing to the ceiling and his hand resting on his chin in thought.

"Well, last Valentine's, I sent Keiji little gifts after each of his classes. Boxes of chocolates, cards, little owl plushies..." he ticked off each item from his fingers, his eyes lighting up with the memory. "But, then Keiji said he didn't want to show me his class schedules anymore because it was too much to clean up afterwards." Bokuto shrugged, deflating a little. "I think we're planning to do something smaller this year."

Kuroo remembered that. It was their second year of university and surprisingly, the three of them had all been accepted to the same school of choice--granted, Bokuto barely ended up getting in through waitlist and sports connections, but Kuroo never brought that up more than two times a week.

Bokuto and Akaashi had been dating for a while by then--the two were slightly insufferable in Kuroo's opinion, but he was definitely happy for his best friend landing the guy he was pursuing for over two years. With three years of anniversaries under their belt, the looks, the presents, and the physical displays of affection only seemed to grow in strength and number as the months passed.

Last year was probably the worst. Bokuto had decided he would go all out on the Valentine's gifts and consequently made friends with at least one person in each of Akaashi's classes who could deliver Bokuto's undying confessions of love. Needless to say, Akaashi was unhappy. Or maybe, Kuroo mused, he was a bit too happy about all the attention. He could still remember the faint pink that tinted the back of Akaashi's neck as the younger man confronted Bokuto, with a firm, "Bokuto-san, for both your sake and mine, please never do that ever again."

"I'm surprised you need my help with this at all." Bokuto continued, cutting Kuroo off from his thoughts. "Weren't you quite the ladies' man back in high school? You gave girls chocolates and stuff for Valentine's, right?"

"I did, but, I want this to be extra special," Kuroo groaned, resting his chin on the back of his chair. "I don't want to just do something I've done before... Kei is special."

Bokuto whistled and it was Kuroo's turn to grab the pillow from the floor and chuck it across the room at his face. "I'm being serious here... this is new to us. Sure, I can get him the usual chocolates and flowers and whatnot, but I'm sure he's expecting that. I want to do something to completely knock him off his feet."

An image of Tsukishima short-circuiting as bright red spread across his cheeks made Kuroo's heart fill up with warmth, and he smiled at the thought. Bokuto seemed to observe him for a while before speaking.

"How about dinosaurs?"

"Nah," Kuroo sighed. "I did a huge dinosaur thing for him on our one-month anniversary. Took him to a museum and got him enough dinosaur related things to fill up his entire closet. It's too soon to repeat that."

"It's only been two months since you started dating."

"Still."

"I don't think Tsukki would be that picky though... is he?"

"Bokuto, I’m that picky for him," Kuroo huffed, blowing upwards to clear some hair out of his face.

"Just make him something then!" Bokuto gestured to the papers on Kuroo's desk. "You can draw him something. That's personal, right?"

Kuroo turned back to stare at the drawings on his desk. As he was pursuing a career in medical illustration, he was taking required courses in both art and in the sciences. Regardless, other than know how to sketch a perfect surgical diagram, Kuroo wasn't entirely sure how to draw anything else. He was more than positive a drawing of a live, beating organ was the furthest thing from romantic.

He picked up his draft of the veins in a human skull and showed it to Bokuto with a mild air of defeat. "Think Kei would like this at all?"

Bokuto squinted at the drawing as if to make out the bits and ends of it before snapping his fingers. "Maybe if it was a dinosaur skull, what about that?!"

Kuroo decided asking Bokuto for Valentine's advice was a bad idea altogether.

  Despite Kuroo's failure to gain any solid advice from his roommate, the following day he admit that a personalized gift wasn't too disastrous. If Kei’s complaints about his cheesiness was any indication, Kuroo had already done plenty of personal things for the blonde. That wasn’t new.

Yet, Kuroo couldn’t think of anything that wasn’t the usual explosion of red and pink hearts, teddy bears, and various assortments of chocolates.

Kuroo sighed, slugging his bag over his shoulder and waving goodbye to his classmates before heading back to his dorm room. It wasn’t as if he was on a time crunch or anything—in fact, he was probably overthinking this too early. Bokuto had even asked him what kind of whipped fool started planning for Valentine’s a month in advance?

Kuroo ran a hand through his hair. Right. This whipped fool. But, it wasn’t as if Bokuto could say anything about it—his and Akaashi’s first anniversary was planned weeks in advance.

As Kuroo stepped outside the building, a cold gust of air blew through the area, sending chills down his spine. It was a mistake wearing his metal studs that morning because now his ears were just as cold as the rest of him. He bundled up a little warmer in his coat and scarf before heading towards the university entrance, thinking about how he would give anything now to cuddle up on the couch with Kei. The younger man was definitely weak to the cold, and being the warmer of the two, Kuroo enjoyed wrapping himself up with his boyfriend to fend off the winter chills.

Unfortunately for Kuroo, Kei was off at the campus greenhouse with other biology majors, fighting the biting winds for the plants there. Kuroo had grumbled that Kei couldn’t fend off winter’s sting himself so him trying to fight it off for others was illogical. Kei rolled his eyes and assured Kuroo that the greenhouse was properly heated so Kuroo didn’t have to worry.

But, Kuroo couldn’t help but worry anyway as the image of a shivering, rosy-cheeked Kei came to mind. He’d have to warm his boyfriend up once they met up in a few days. Kuroo would make sure of it.

Initially, the two had planned to secure an apartment together, but Bokuto had begged Kuroo to stick with him until the end of the academic school year.

People often asked why Bokuto roomed with Kuroo if the former had a boyfriend to go to at the end of the day. Bokuto always flushed bright red, stammering about needing to wait for marriage. Akaashi deadpanned, saying Bokuto was too distracting for his studies. Kuroo wanted to ask in what way was Bokuto distracting, but an icy glare from Akaashi kept his mouth shut.

Of course, Kuroo was happy to do his best friend a favor, but that meant Kei had to endure one semester without his boyfriend’s warmth. Kei had said he was fine and he seemed excited to set up his single room the first week of school.

A single, because after all, Kei wasn’t a people person. The very idea of rooming with anyone other than Kuroo wasn’t feasible for him. So, Kei selected a small apartment down the way, one with a tidy little balcony where he could keep some plants for company. Plants were better than people, after all.

To be honest, Kuroo was certain the blonde would pursue geology with his interest in fossils and archaeology. Either that or something in music. The two seemed a closer fit than biology was, but Kei was always full of surprises. One thing was for certain though—if there was anything Tsukishima Kei enjoyed indiscriminately, it definitely fell into the region of songs or dinosaurs.

Kuroo wondered if he could write Kei a song.

‘A song about dinosaurs?’ a voice in the back of his head meekly asked, and he grimaced, shoving that idea to the side. Maybe some other time. After all, Kuroo wasn’t the best with rhythm or tempo, as much as he enjoyed listening to music, he sure as heck couldn’t keep a beat even if he had a metronome placed right in front of him.

Kuroo grumbled, shoving his hands into the front of his coat pockets and trudging down the street towards his apartment complex. His place wasn’t terribly far from campus, but the extra time to think about a gift idea that would never come was vexing.

Dinosaurs, no. Music, no. Well, maybe, but it was far too late to start something now given he would have to write a song, then practice, then make sure it didn’t sound like it was composed and orchestrated by the elementary school kids down the block.

What else did Kei like? He loved sweets, especially those small strawberry cakes from the bakery on the street corner. Those were his absolute favorites and Kuroo was definitely going to get him that, but he needed something else… something more…

He scratched his head in frustration. Kei was more than dinosaurs or music. He was more than strawberry sweets, and sugar sweet kisses in the early rays of sunlit mornings. He was more than a blonde nerd with glasses—granted, a hot blonde nerd with glasses, but Kuroo digresses. He was more than his interests, his likes, and his passions—his eyes were an ocean Kuroo could get lost in, his laugh was a gift to the heavens, he was more than the small things that put him together—Tsukishima Kei was everything.

Yet, Kuroo couldn’t think of a proper gift for the life of him and felt terribly inadequate. He wanted to give Kei something he worked hard on and thought seriously about—not some cookie cutter formula Valentine’s day gift.

Suddenly, Kuroo stopped, finding his feet rooted to the spot as he heard the jingle of a bell from a nearby shop ring with the opening and closing of the door. He stared at the items on display and it was as if the bud of the most brilliant idea took hold in his mind. Without another thought, Kuroo shuffled over, wrenched the entrance open and walked inside.

  “What’s that?” Bokuto perked up from the magazine he was reading, white and black hair sticking out at odds and ends on his head.

Kuroo beamed, taking off his coat and backpack before heading into their shared living space with his arms wrapped around a bundle of thin plastic. “It’s Kei’s Valentine’s gift!”

Bokuto bounced up from his seat on the floor. “Let me see!”

Kuroo grinned, setting the mess in his hands onto his desk. Slowly and carefully, he undid the wrapping around it revealing—

“Is that a plant?” Bokuto slumped, the excitement draining out of his face. “Man, Tsukki has like a million plants already, you got him another one?”

“It’s not just any plant,” Kuroo retorted, smoothing out some of the baby leaves on the potted beauty. The to-be gift took up nearly half of his desk space. “It’s a strawberry plant, for your information.”

“Where are the strawberries?” Bokuto asked, disbelieving.

“I’m going to grow them.”

Bokuto stared in awe at the plant as if a group of strawberries would suddenly pop up out of the blue on its green stems.

“Wow,” he breathed, staring at the pot with a newfound sense of wonder. “That’s a great idea, Kuroo.”

“I hope so,” Kuroo smiled, looking down at the pot. “I’m not as good with plants as Kei is, but the lady in the store said that this type of plant in particular makes a lot of strawberries so I thought it’d be perfect. We could probably use them the next time we try baking together.”

“Hey,” Bokuto turned to Kuroo, mouth open wide. “Do you think I can do this too?”

“Huh?”

“Gift Keiji a plant!”

Kuroo frowned. “No, dude, get your own, I’m not giving you any of Kei’s strawberries.”

“No, I don’t want any, I meant a rapeseed plant!” Bokuto exclaimed, a sparkle in his eyes. “They’re a part of Keiji’s favorite food!”

“Thank you for the boyfriend trivia I didn’t particularly need to know,” Kuroo responded, shoving Bokuto out of his face. “That’s fine—I think I saw some in the store I went to, you know, the flower shop next to the ramen place.”

“We can grow them together!”

“Sure, as long you don’t take credit for my brilliant idea,” Kuroo hummed, moving the potted plant closer to the window of their room. “Much better than a drawing of the inside of a dinosaur skull, right?”

“Well, actually, I think my idea was fin—”

Kuroo chucked a pillow at Bokuto’s face. “Go get your gift, you idiot.”

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m on my way!”

With that, Bokuto slipped into his winter gear and headed out the door. Kuroo’s eyes trailed after him before settling back down on the plant in front of him. At this point, the pot was abnormally large in comparison to the small buds poking out of the dirt here and there.

It wasn’t the most extravagant gift in his opinion, but with love and care, he knew Kei would cherish the gift. At least, he hoped.

  Kuroo needed a different gift for Kei and he needed it fast.

He didn’t have a green thumb, he knew this, but he didn’t think he’d be worse than Bokuto Koutarou.

Glancing over at the towering plant on Bokuto’s desk, Kuroo groaned, laying his head in his hands. Through his fingers, he peeked at his strawberry plant, half of which was withered and brown, and half with a bunch of scrawny strawberries under some subpar leaves.

This was a disaster.

Three weeks before Valentine’s, Kuroo wondered if he was doing something wrong.

Two weeks before Valentine’s, Kuroo started investing in fertilizer and searching up home remedies for plants on his laptop.

A week before Valentine’s, Kuroo began looking for other gift options.

It wasn’t like him to quit halfway, but dammit, Mother Nature wasn’t working with him and there was nothing he could do about the forces of the universe cursing his beloved strawberry plant with infertility.

Now that Valentine’s was tomorrow he had no other option than to do something else for his boyfriend.

Bokuto seemed as happy-go-lucky as ever—if anything, even more so than usual. Kuroo wasn’t sure if the change in mood was because of Bokuto’s innate plant caring skills or whatever, but his roommate’s success was making his failure look even more terrible.

Kuroo glared at the plant as if the sharp looks would spur the strawberries to ripen within the span of 24 hours. As if. If whatever he had done before hadn’t worked, it wasn’t going to start working now.

He had poured his entire soul into his gift. Kuroo spent hours trimming away the dying leaves, watering it at set hours of the day, and making sure the plant got enough sunlight even when he would spend the weekend away at Kei’s. It wasn’t as if he didn’t get anything for his efforts. Heck, there were a few small strawberries on the stems, but it was as if he had been granted the Midas touch of turning everything to gold because, damn, the plant was looking mighty yellow.

Granted, Kuroo could probably pop down to a local florist and purchase a strawberry plant that actually had strawberries on them, but then there’d be no heart in the gift. The past month would have been a complete waste of time.

Bokuto wasn’t doing much to help his mood.

“What’d you do?” he probed, looking back and forth from his plant to Kuroo’s.

Kuroo nearly snarled back, letting his face fall onto his keyboard. Bokuto had hardly done anything special for his gift and yet, his plant had grown beautifully vibrant. It had been accidentally dropped, tousled, and Bokuto had even forgotten to water it for days and yet, there it stood, mocking Kuroo from across the room. Kuroo swallowed the lump of bitterness in his throat and mumbled, “Leave me alone.”

Bokuto gave him a sympathetic look that Kuroo pretended not to feel. He scooted his chair closer to observe Kuroo’s plant. “Hey, it’s not all bad! You have some strawberries here!”

Kuroo grunted, gesturing to his laptop screen. Bokuto looked up, reading the information on display.

“Strawberries are in season for the majority of the year, so if any new farmers are looking to plant them, you’re in luck. From late April through Augu—oh.”

“I’m an idiot,” Kuroo sighed.

Bokuto furrowed his brows, typing in something else on the keys after gently shoving Kuroo to the side. “Rapeseed,” he began, once he finished searching. “This crop is often grown as a winter cover crop… no wonder mine was fine! Kuroo, it’s not your fault!”

“Yes, it is, Bo. I was blinded by love and didn’t even check to see when it grows best.”

Laying a hand on Kuroo’s slumped shoulder, Bokuto nodded understandingly. Kuroo would have probably laughed at him and brushed him off if he didn’t feel so miserable. “I get you, man. Love does that.”

“But, what do I do? I have nothing to give him now!”

Bokuto hummed, placing his hands on his hips. “You could go on a double date with us! Keiji and I found this awesome cake place downtown that has some great reviews. I think it’s even better than the one that bakery you always go together with him. We’re planning to go this weekend after Valentine’s so maybe you can make Tsukki a little something to hold him over til then? After all, didn’t Tsukki say he didn’t want anything in particular?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo sighed, a sad smile fitting onto his lips. “I don’t know what I did to deserve him.”

“You’re such a sap,” Bokuto laughed, grinning wide. “I’m sure he’ll love whatever you do for him! And don’t worry about Friday—there’s no way Tsukki won’t like these cakes—they’re fancy wedding cake samples!”

Kuroo choked, looking Bokuto in the eyes for the first time that evening. “Bro, are you—”

Bokuto averted his eyes, red flooding his cheeks. “I… I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Bro, what the hell, when did you propose?” Kuroo leapt up from his seat, wrapping an arm around his roommate’s shoulders. “Congrats, man! How come this is the first I’m hearing of this?”

Bokuto shrugged, shrinking a little under the praise. Even though he was elated to receive compliments for himself, he always tended to be shy when it came to Akaashi. “You were stressed over your strawberries.”

“Still,” Kuroo nudged Bokuto hard in the ribs. He couldn’t believe he was so stressed about his gift he hadn’t even realized his best friend was getting married. “That kind of news is always welcome. Man, it’s about time!”

Bokuto beamed, pushing Kuroo off him and puffing his chest out proudly. “Anyways! They allow an additional guest and their date to join in cake tasting so you and Tsukki can come!”

Kuroo grinned, his chest feeling lighter already. “I’m sure he’d love that. Does he know?”

“I dunno, Keiji might have told him.”

“I hope not, I want to see the look on his face when he learns we’re going cake tasting,” Kuroo placed his laptop to the side and grabbed a fresh sheet of paper from the pile near his desk. “It sucks that I couldn’t gift him these strawberries, but I think I’m okay with you and Akaashi stealing the spotlight this Valentine’s.”

Bokuto blinked, watching Kuroo select a graphic pencil from his pencil case before turning to type something into his keyboard. “Wait, what are you—”

Smirking, Kuroo turned in his chair to display his screen—a real life drawing of a T-Rex in the images tab. “Think Kei would like some dinosaur skull veins?”

“Kuroo,” Bokuto laughed. “That’s so unromantic.”

  Kuroo fit his checkered dress shirt on and adjusted the collars in the mirror. He spun once to make sure there were no holes in his black jeans before looking back at his reflection with a smile. Nice.

The two were going on a date together after classes. It was hard to find a spare moment on Valentine’s, but they had made it work. Kuroo assured Kei that he would keep it on the down-low and the latter had agreed to a small dinner date at a restaurant the two frequented from time to time.

Kuroo heard the doorbell ring and called out a ‘coming!’ before grabbing the shoulder bag on his and Bokuto’s shared table space before swinging the door open wide.

Kei stood at the entrance, a blue denim jacket wrapped snugly around a casual t-shirt with a black backpack, dark blue jeans on the bottom. The setting sun in the background made Kei’s pale skin almost glow, and Kuroo couldn’t help staring before his boyfriend cleared his throat, hints of pink dusting the tips of his ears. “Kuroo-san.”

“Kei!” Kuroo beamed, moving forward to cup the blonde’s face in his hands and place a light kiss on his lips. “Happy Valentine’s, moonshine.”

“Happy Valentine’s…” Kei looked down, hands hovering over Kuroo’s. Kuroo took the chance to grab them in his own and the two naturally intertwined their fingers together.

“Ready to go?”

Kei blinked, looking not-so-subtlety down at Kuroo’s shoulder bag before glancing back at the apartment. If Kuroo hadn’t known the taller man for years back in high school, he wouldn’t have caught the glint of longing in the golden eyes.

“Something wrong?”

“Ah, nothing,” Kei murmured, adjusting his backpack. “I just thought…”

Kuroo’s silence prompted Kei to continue. The younger man narrowly caught himself about to fiddle with his fingers, but held them a little more stiffly in Kuroo’s hand.

“I just thought the plant thing was your idea.”

Kuroo sputtered, staring incredulously at Kei. “What?”

“I saw Akaashi-san today in the library and he had this plant with him. He said he got it from Bokuto-san, but Bokuto-san, isn’t very good with that stuff so I figured it was something you convinced him to do. When Bokuto-san showed up a bit later, he said something about how you both were growing plants for us.”

Resisting the urge to bury his head into the floor, Kuroo laughed awkwardly, his free hand reaching up to cover his eyes. “Ah, shit. Damn, Bo.”

Kei watched Kuroo with a mixture of confusion and amusement. “Kuroo-san?”

“I was planning to take that plant to my grave,” Kuroo sighed, biting his lip nervously. “It… wasn’t… isn’t… didn’t turn out as great as Bokuto’s.”

Now Kei’s eyes were filled with curiosity. He peered back into the dark room, craning his neck to look towards Kuroo’s side of the dorm. “Can I see?”

Kuroo needed to say no. I mean, how could he even show that plant to anyone, let alone the love of his life? It was hideous, and tiny, the disgrace of all farmers and planters out there alike. The abomination should stay clear of the light of day, far away from prying eyes and inquisitive glances.

But, of course, Kuroo couldn’t say no to Tsukishima Kei.

Damn, was he whipped.

“Just a second,” Kuroo grumbled, kicking off his shoes and heading back inside as Kei’s eyes followed him.

Without a closer look at the gift, Kuroo grabbed the potted plant, made his way back out and placed it into his boyfriend’s arms.

Kei took one look at the bundle of shriveled strawberries underneath and paused, expression unreadable. Kuroo winced, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. He couldn’t bring himself to look his boyfriend in the eye. “Ah, well, I really did try, Kei. I really should’ve checked the season—I forgot that planters do that because, well, that only makes sense after a—”

Kuroo was interrupted by a guffaw of laughter. When he looked up, he saw Kei doubled over himself, hand over his mouth in an attempt to contain the mirth, but to no avail. The blonde shook with giggles, trying to keep it together. Kuroo would’ve thought it was adorable if he weren’t so embarrassed.

“Kei, c’mon, don’t make fun of me, you know I tried berry hard,” Kuroo offered weakly, a smile growing on his own face.

“Oh, my, god, Tetsurou, stop,” Kei choked, holding onto his sides for dear life. Kuroo snickered, sidling over and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist.

“Stop or what? You’ll leaf me?”

“Tetsurou,” Kei tried keeping his voice straight this time, but it was easy to detect the cracks. Kuroo smirked.

“C’mon, Kei, you know I’ll always be a pot of your life,” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows.

“God, please, stop,” Kei huffed, wiping tears out of his eyes and pushing his boyfriend back in a way Kuroo knew was playful. “You’re the worst.”

“But, I’m yours?”

Kei exhaled, finally collecting himself enough to roll his eyes with conviction. Kuroo chuckled, burrowing his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder.

God, he was embarrassed. But, it was definitely worth it to hear Kei’s angelic laughter.

“This,” Kei spoke up, clearing his throat and gesturing to the flower pot held between them. “Is probably the worst thing I’ve seen in my entire life.”

“Damn,” Kuroo said, snapping his fingers. “Bokuto said I should’ve gifted you a dinosaur skull for Valentine’s. Should’ve listened to him—that was probably a better idea than a half-dead plant.”

Tsukishima paused, giving Kuroo a wary look. “A what?”

“No, not a real dinosaur skull stolen from a museum or someplace—a drawing of the inside of one like I do for my illustration classes,” Kuroo snickered, holding up the product in his hand and handing it to Kei. “It’s not that great, to be completely honest, as no one really knows what the veins inside a dinosaur skull looks like, anyways.”

Kei looked down at the drawing in his hands, his mouth agape as if looking for words to say. Kuroo paused, staring at his boyfriend in confusion. “Wait, don’t tell me you actually really like it that much?”

As if on cue, Kei’s cheeks burst into color and he shook his head, huffing angrily and refusing to meet Kuroo’s eyes directly. “No, that’s ridiculous. Please don’t talk nonsense Kuroo-san.”

“Aw, Kei,” Kuroo leaned in closer, a knowing smile on his lips. “You can be honest with me. What happened to ‘Tetsurou?’”

Kei seemed to burst into flames at the statement, but instead of responding, he placed the flower on the floor and dug into his backpack, pulling out a wrapped, medium-sized box that he shoved at Kuroo’s chest.

Kuroo blinked, taking the gift tentatively. After trying to make eye contact with Kei for half a minute, he slowly peeled back the tape, undid the binding, and lifted the lid.

The smell hit him first. A smell of roses or wisteria or jasmine—to be completely honest, Kuroo couldn’t tell too well. The bottom of the box was lined with an assortment of dried flowers, half of which Kuroo couldn’t place. There was what looked to be a tie wrapped in light red tissue paper to the right and a greeting card on the left.

Wordlessly, Kei grabbed the box so that Kuroo could dig through its contents without worrying about dropping anything. Kuroo’s eyes flicked up to meet with Kei’s for half a moment before they dropped back down to the present. He was so happy. So damn happy.

Kuroo took the tie first, unwrapping it to reveal what would be a plain black tie except for the fact that it was covered with images from periodic table of elements. He laughed, taking the cloth to his neck and lifting an eyebrow in Kei’s direction. “Aw, moonshine, you shouldn’t have. Now, I’ll definitely get into grad school. When I go for my interview, I’m sure they’ll instantly accept me with this!”

Kei smirked, “Or they’ll instantly erase all contact with you after finding out you’re a giant nerd, who knows.”

“Mean,” Kuroo smiled, knowing it was all in good fun. He gently placed the tie back into the box. “I’ll cherish it.”

Kei didn’t respond, merely looking back down at the contents of the gift once more. Kuroo took that as an invitation to continue.

He took the card into his hands, but nearly fell over his own feet catching an item that slipped out of it. After he had firmly grasped it, Kuroo looked closer to find a pair of earrings.

“That…” Kei spoke quietly. “Was Yamaguchi’s idea. You know how he is about jewelry so he wouldn’t let it go after I told him about the idea. If you don’t like it, I can always take it back. I’m sure Yamaguchi can sell it in his store somehow.”

“What are you saying, Kei,” Kuroo breathed, running a finger over the sleek metal exteriors. “These are perfect.”

And, indeed they were. One side was designed like a black cat, with a tuft of hair off to the side of its face. It reminded him terribly of himself and likewise, the other side, a golden moon that shone brilliantly in the last rays of the setting sun reminded him of the most important person in his life.

Kuroo looked up, and Kei found himself stammering. “D-don’t cry!”

“I’m not!” Kuroo responded, rubbing his eyes with his free hand and clutching the earrings with the other. “This is… this is wow. Kei, you designed these?”

“Not entirely,” Kei mumbled. “I had help. To be honest, my first Valentine’s gift wasn’t that great either.”

As if to prove a point, Kei grabbed the card out of the box and handed it to Kuroo. After placing the earrings back into the box, Kuroo took the card and opened it.

What he saw inside made him burst into laughter. Kei’s ears went bright red and he distracted himself by shutting the box with the gifts inside.

On the inside of the card, there was a short letter wishing Kuroo well for grad school but, right next to it was a large drawing of a fish. Or at least, Kuroo thought it was a realistic-looking picture of a fish’s veins with black and gold lettering around it that said: “I’m your biggest fin!”

“Oh my god, Kei, how long did it take you to draw this?”

Kei flushed. “It’s lame, I know! Don’t laugh.”

“But, moonshine, you just gave me a pun, how am I not supposed to laugh?”

Kei pouted, glaring down at the floor.

“Don’t be mad, Kei, this is the best card I’ve ever gotten.”

Kuroo fought back the last of his laughter as he shut the card and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “I’m so happy you thought of me and drew something that I enjoy doing.”

“Don’t lie,” Kei huffed, but let himself relax into Kuroo’s touch. “I’m a biology major, not an art major. It was a bad idea.”

“Really, I mean it! I’m glad you’re my biggest fin.”” Kuroo said, pulling back and flashing Kei a smile. “Beats the dinosaur drawing I made you.”

“At least yours looks like a dinosaur.”

“At least my inedible strawberries made you laugh.”

Kei snickered, looking back at the pot next to their feet. “Hey, some of those look edible. It was… thoughtful of you. We’re both not the best at baking so it’s fine to have experimental strawberries for the next time we do.”

“When’s that, Kei?” Kuroo crooned, leaning forward.

“Whenever, I guess,” Kei responded through the red that spread across his cheeks.

Kuroo grinned, threading their fingers together once more. “Well, now that our disastrous gift giving is over, shall we go get dinner? Afterwards, we can get some dessert at that bakery you love. Consider that an apology for the strawberry tragedy I created.”

Kei hummed as if considering the options. “Alright, I’ll forgive you if the strawberry shortcake is good.”

“You said it’s always good the last time we went there, didn’t you?”

Kei shrugged. “You never know, Kuroo-san.”

“Tetsurou.”

Kei glanced over at Kuroo, honey meeting golden. The younger man’s expression seemed to soften. “Tetsurou.”

“God, Kei, you’re going to kill me,” Kuroo groaned, turning away. “I’m going to put our stuff away.”

He picked up the plant from the floor along with the box and returned it inside, but before he stepped back out, he paused at the kitchen counter. “Hey, Kei?”

Kei popped his head into the doorway.

“Come here for a sec.”

“What is it? I thought we were going to go eat?”

Kuroo smirked, gesturing for Kei to sit at the stool. His boyfriend removed his shoes and went to do so without further complaint.

“Now, close your eyes.”

“Tetsurou, pleas—”

“Close them!”

Kei sighed, closing his eyes. Kuroo leaned forward and cupped his hands around Kei’s ears. Before Kei could question what he was doing, Kuroo pulled back, marveling at his handiwork. “Alright, you can open them now.”

Kei opened his eyes to find Kuroo beaming at him. “Kuroo-san, what—”

There was a glint near his boyfriend’s face and Kei saw Kuroo’s left ear had the golden moon placed perfectly in his earlobe. When he looked at the right ear though, there was nothing to be seen.

It only took a minute for it to click before Kei reached for his right ear and found the black cat. “Kuroo-san, wait, these are—”

“I’m more than positive Yamaguchi would have wanted us to share these,” Kuroo winked, adjusting his shoulder bag and making his way out the door. “Unless you don’t want me as your right hand man, or rather, right ear man?”

Kei flushed, getting up from his seat and reluctantly reaching out a hand to take Kuroo’s. “You’re such a sap.”

“So I’ve heard.”

Kei hummed, looking down at their feet as Kuroo went to lock the door behind them. “Speaking of things you’ve heard, did you hear Akaashi-san is getting married?”

“Yeah, Bokuto told me the other day! I hope your weekend is free for some wedding cakes!”

“I’ll have to see,” Kei teased, rubbing his chin as if in deep thought before turning to Kuroo. “But, I’ll probably be able to make it.”

“You better be,” Kuroo laughed, gripping their hands tighter together as they left the building. “Cause one day we’ll be the ones buying them.”

“Wha—Kuroo-san!”

Kuroo smiled, giving Kei a small peck on the side of his lips. “In time, I mean.”

“That…” Kei’s cheeks shone a brilliant red, and he looked away as the cold winter air swirled around them. “That would be nice.”

Kuroo felt his heart could burst at any moment. He giggled, unable to contain the pure joy that threatened to drown him from within. He peppered the side of Kei’s face with kisses as the blonde yelped and swat him away.

The two made their way towards the restaurant together hand in hand, talking about strawberry pastry recipes they would try out the next free day they had. The moon glistened in the sky, making their earrings shine brightly.

Sure, their first Valentine’s hadn’t gone too smoothly, but that was alright. They had many more to come. Despite Kuroo’s obvious horticultural mishap, Kei didn’t think any less of him. In fact, Kei had tried to do something similar for him, and Kuroo couldn’t be happier. Dinosaurs, strawberries, music, or whatnot, Kei was his and his alone. As the stars speckled the world above them, and their hands came together as one, Kuroo knew he wouldn’t trade away their first for the world.

He hoped Kei felt the same.

[purgatory-jar]

11 questions game

I was tagged by both @saawek and @elnawen (from now on dubbed “the french corner”) and I’ve got like, SOM ANY QUSTIONS GUYS STAPH

But like, the questions were actually pretty cool, so, guess I’m doing this:

here are the rules

1. Post the Rules

2. Answer the questions given to you

3. Make 11 questions of your own

4. Tag 11 people

* 

questions and replies under the cut!

1) What is your favorite movie?

AH, it keeps changing tbh. Lately, I’d say I greatly enjoyed wonder woman :D

2) What are you doing tomorrow?

Working at my day job and then probably drawing. I promised myself i’d start the sketch for one of the drawings for my portfolio, let’s see how that goes XD

3) What is your favorite animal?

Giraffes and cats <3

4) What is your favorite genre of story?

Considering the fact that I haven’t read a proper printed book in forever… I’d say urban fantasy. But not post-apocalitic, if possible.

5) Pizza or Burger?

Give me all the burgers!!!

6) tea or coffee?

I enoy tea much more, but I am addicted to coffee xD

7) what is your least favorite season?

Summer in Italy is the WORSE

8) What is/was your scholar cursus?

EHEH I studied languages and economy in high school, went to literature and history university, didn’t finish it, and now I’m planning to apply to art school.

9) What would you do during the end of the world?

OH GOD I guess try to survive it?

10) Cats or dog?

I’m a cat person, but dogs are also awesome!

11) Do you play video games?

I used to, now I don’t really have time :(

1.You have to write a new fic RIGHT NOW, quick quick, what will it be about??? (for the sake of answering this question, you are a great author)

OH SHIT the one I always wanted to write has phoenix!cas and hunter dean, and it’s acutally funny ‘cause I’d love to add to the funny fics in the fandom (there aren’t enough in my opinion) OR OR OR I’ve always wanted to go AU after the events in 9x06 (Steve!Cas is my jam!!!!!).

2.You have to DRAW SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, what is it???

Jesus I’d write my whole portfolio so I don’t have to think about it anymore

3.What are the most perfect dish your country has to offer?

NUTELLA TAKE THAT FRANCE

4.Have you ever done a livestream ? If yes, do you regret what happens in the chat? If no livestream, why not ?

That’s why I was tagged in this, isn’t it. Yes, I livestream regularly. And no, I don’t regret the chat. Not even a lil bit. (Well maybe I regret the scaly dick. But only that).

5.Tell us something sexy or ridiculous (both is good too) in another language.

Ich sehe dein baguette freund, und es ist lange! (I don’t know, guys, wtf)

6.The moment of your life when you thought “how the fuck did i got here?”

Well, funny answer is, every time I look at the chat while I livestream. Depressing answer is, skyping with my future employer in Germany while in the car because I was too afraid of another earthquake hitting to do it at home. First answer that actually came to mind is: realizing I was lucky enough to get a date with the wonderful person I’m dating now. It was more of a “how the fuck was i lucky enough to get here” kinda thing, tho.

7.What are you most proud of?

Getting better on my own after a very rough period last year and getting my life back on track.

8.Do you know I like you ? You are a good person 9.Do you like stargazing?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww the french corner likes me!!!!! <3 I love stargazing! I even saw a meteor once!

10.What fandoms do you like most?

Definitely supernatural. It feels like home to me :)

11.Will you draw or write what you answered for question 1 and 2?

OHHHH SHIT YES YOU KNOW WHAT YES as soon as i have the time!

1. Would you rather become a dog and be able to talk or stay human but only be able to bark?

Ooooh I’d rather become a dog! :)

2. Hot or cold drinks?

Definitely hot!

3. Do you like to dance?

NOPE

4. Favorite character trait (in general or of a fictional character, I’m not picky)

Mmmm well I really really like characters i can relate to, if that makes sense? SO… relatable characters?

5. Favorite headcanon?

I am 100% convinced Dean and Cas have been fucking all this time

6. You have been given the opportunity to buy one thing without caring about the cost, what is it?

Well Elna is taking care of the environment so that one’s out. Can I pull a tony stark, buy all the weapon companies, and turn them into clean energy research facilities?

7. What’s your favorite way to travel?

HELL NOT A PLANE. Train, probably :)

8. Favorite AU/theme for fics or fanart?

Canon babbbbies <3 and recently I am obsessing over that selkie!au

9. Can you do a cart-wheel?

I suffer from motion sickness, so I guess yeah, but not without throwing up

10. Ice cream or pizza?

PIZZA

11. Why is 42 the meaning of life

who not 

1.Weirdest idiom of your language

EHEH I KNOW MY CHICKENS or “You’re busier than a undertaker at night”

2.Fuck (or cuddle) Marry and Kill with : Godstiel, Demon!Dean, Lucifer!Sam

Who wouldnt fuck demon!Dean. I’d marry Godstiel (uh oh) and Kill Lucifer!Sam

3.Same question but with : Castiel, Sam or Dean (i’m not THAT sadistic)

Let’s switch it up, I’d fuck Cas, marry Dean and kill Sam? Sorry Sam

4.What’s your zodiacal sign?

 Gemini

5.Tell us an embarassing but funny moment you lived recently or years ago.

I *tried* to order food in 3 different languages. It was embarassing and @whelvenwings can confirm

6.Which fictional characters do you most fancy (or find very attractive)?

It’s a tie between Dean and Cas, but like, probably Cas

7.Destiel is now canon, do you mind?

Have you seen my blog

8.You got an unlimited access to money and power, what do you do? (see question 7 to have some ideas on what to buy)

Among like, trying to end wars and hunger and stuff, if I had to be like, really really petty, I’d buy supernatural and give it to trusted writers and meta-writers.

9.An urban legend or a myth around your area?

Apparently there’s a unicorn in the natural park around my region (swear to god)

10.Why do I have to ask you 11 questions? It’s fucking hard.

I KNOW RIGHT

11.Can you give me a cookie? 

Why, you wanna store it between your buttcheeks?

1. If you had wings of your own, what would they look like ?

Ooooh badass. I want them black!!!

2. The moment of your life you felt the proudest ?

Haven’t I already replied to this

3. The thing everyone likes that you just… can’t…

ICE CREAM

4. Do you have a favorite plushie, if so present it to us

YES it’s a giraffe plushie and I’ve had it for like, 20 years. Second to that, I made a giant toothless plushie myself and it’s like, 2 meters long and I miss it a great deal

5. Pick a BATTLE WEAPON, what is it ?

A magic wand!

6. If you could cosplay one character ?

bEEN THERE DONE THAT. I cosplayed Merida, Dean, Cas and random HP characters at various comic-cons.

7. If you could dye your hair any color, no consequences, what would you choose ?

Dudes, my hair is *already* pink

8. Of all the fictional universes you know, which one would you want to live in ?

THE HARRY POTTER ONE, but like, a peaceful one

9. Do you take a lot of photos ?

Well sometimes? It’s mostly animals and pretty plants, so kinda lame

10. What is the word or expression you say faaar too much ?

Well, in my mother tongue I think it’s… “vabbè”. English probably like, it is I, because i really like it. And german it’s “ach quatsch”.

11. If you could dress in any era attire, what would you wear ?

ARMOR I WANT TO WEAR FUCKING ARMOR

NOW for my 11 questions:

Favourite flower/plant?

One thing you thought you’d regret, but turned out great instead?

Do you wear glasses?

What’s the last book/fanfic you read?

City or countryside?

What’s your opinion on cacti?????

Favourite sweet food?

Which planet would you like to visit, if you could?

Favourite supernatural character (except team free will)?

Best christmas present you’ve ever received?

If you could turn into any animal, which would it be?

I’m not gonna tag anyone cause most people I know have already been tagged, but feel free to do this if you want!

[royalfoxfics]

Art by Twin Doodle 

Ao3

FF.net

In which the penthouse gets a makeover, Serge is on call, and Chloe gets a lot of tail.  

Chloe shook out her loose hair and shuddered as she opened the bathroom door and felt the comparatively chilly air the apartment wash over her.  She silently thanked Serge for always including slippers with the silk pajamas he kept stocked in her bathroom.  She hated to think what the cold tile would feel like against her bare feet.  Just looking at it made her feel a shiver and…

 She froze as her eyes locked onto the fallen, and horrifyingly open wooden box that lay motionless on the hard tile floor a foot or so from the steps leading up to her bed.  Her gaze slowly drifted from the box to the vacant eyed ladybug plushie she had perched it.  

 ‘Et tu, Dot?’ she thought.  

 Turning her attention back to the box she grimaced and slowly made her way over to assess the damage. The box had fallen open facing away from her so she couldn’t see the inside.  Part of her didn’t want to look, but she didn’t have a choice.  Picking it up gingerly with both hands, she opened it fully and finally got a look at its’ contents.  She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but she was not disappointed.  

 Inside, and thankfully held securely in place, was a breathtakingly beautiful decorative gold comb, with a gilded honey bee design making up the bridge.  She was pleased to see that contrary to the box it was held in, the miraculous inside was just her style.  Shinning gold, sparkling black obsidian, the bee thing seemed a bit on the nose if that was going to be her motif but she it would probably change into something less obvious like Adrien’s ring did.  Speaking of…

 She looked over at her phone and bit her lip in thought.  Adrien had said they would go over how to use her miraculous and everything tomorrow after school.  But it wasn’t like he had expressly told her not to try it out tonight.  

 Brushing her fingers over the beautiful honey bee design she again marveled at the comb.  The craftsmanship was masterful.  The gold felt strangely warm under her fingers, almost as if the metal were alive, and it stuck her that she was holding a real miraculous.  Something magical, capable of granting her who knows what kind of unimaginable powers.  With this she wouldn’t have to be Chloe Bourgeois anymore.  She could be whoever she wanted to be.  And flirt with cute girls like there was no tomorrow!  

 Of course, magic had never been exactly kind to her in the past and without Adrien to explain how it worked she might blow up half her apartment.  Or take over someone’s mind.  Or travel back in time and accidentally create a world where apes evolved from men! Though, Adrien’s Bodyguard probably wouldn’t be affected much.    

 Deciding it would be best to not play around with powers she could not yet comprehend on a school night, Chloe was about to close the box when,

 Tunk.

 The sudden sound behind her made her jump twist around to look behind her.  

 “Hello?”  She called out.  

 There was no answer.  

 Holding the box tight to her chest, she carefully made her way around stairs in search of whatever, or whoever had made the odd noise.  She saw the culprit almost immediately.

 It was her mostly used box of tissues.

 Breathing out a sigh of relief she sat back down on the bed and let herself fall back onto the mattress. The tissues must have been close to the edge and just slipped off when she sat down or something, she figured.  She rubbed her face and again felt the weight of the day pressing down on her.  She had been feeling significantly better after her bath, but one falling box of Kleenex was all it took stress her nerves to the limit again.  Best to just order some sushi and call it a night before she mistook her teddy bear for an Akuma.  

 Putting the jewelry box on the bed and crawling over to the nightstand she picked up her phone and pressed the speed dial for her faithful personal butler.  She smiled when he picked only half way through the second ring, as usual.  

 “Mademoiselle Chloe? Is something wrong?”

 “Hello Serge, no everything’s fine.  I’m just feeling a bit hungry.  Could you order me an eel plate from the usual place?”

 “But of course, Mademoiselle!  I shall see to it at once.”  Serge said happily.  “May I presume then, that you are feeling better?   …Mademoiselle?”

 “Huh?  Oh, yes.  Much better.” Chloe shook her head and continued. “I’m just tired, Serge.  I’ll be fine once I get something in my stomach and get some sleep.”

 “Understood Mademoiselle, I shall have your order brought up as soon as it arrives.  Is there anything else you require?”  

 “No, I believe that will be all, Serge…  Oh, wait! A few more bottles of mineral water.”

 “It will be brought up shortly, Mademoiselle.”  And with that, Chloe pressed the button to end the call.  

 Tunk.

 She froze.  It was the same sound she had heard earlier.  

 Slowly crawling over to the opposite edge of the bed, she peeked over and saw that the tissue box had somehow moved to the next step down.  Which didn’t make sense since even expensive tissue boxed didn’t move around on their own.  At least, not so far as she knew.  But as she continued to watch, the box suddenly jumped and flung itself the rest of the way down to the floor.  Chloe yelped in surprise and flattened herself onto the bed.

 Peeking over the edge she watched as the box continued to bounce about on its own for a few more seconds before going still.  Grabbing her phone, Chloe just about to call her father when she realized that for once, he might not be the best answer to her situation.  Backing out through her contacts she found Adrien’s name and hit call.

 “Pick up, pick up, pick uuuAAAAAAAA!”  

 Glancing back over to the tissue box on the floor Chloe was surprised to see that it was not on the floor but was instead hovering in midair just a few feet from her.  Panic overrode common sense and she hurled her phone at the box with all her strength.  Unfortunately, aim correction was not one of the Myphone 13’s installed apps, and the top of the line smart phone missed its target by several inches, smashed through the glass window overlooking the beautiful Parisian night, and plummeted to the street below.  

 Undeterred, Chloe grabbed the next object within reach and hurled that at the floating box.  Her pillows were considerably larger than her cell phone, and Chloe managed to knock the box out of the air on her second try.

 The box gave a surprised but slightly muffled, “AAH!” of its own as it collided back to the ground with the pillow resting atop it.  

 Chloe crept up to the box as quietly as she could.  She could just hear a soft moaning coming from it.  Swallowing, she took the pillow off the box and held it in front of her self like a shield.  The box was slightly smushed now, and resting on its side with the opening in the top facing her.  She crouched down to try to look through the plastic covering the opening.  It was too dark to see, so she reached in with a finger to spread open the plastic open so she could get a better look.  No sooner had she poked her finger inside than she felt a sharp sting as something pricked her.  

 “Ouch!”  

 She withdrew her hand quickly and put the injured finger to her lips.  

 “And there is plenty more where that came from you barbarian!”  Called a tiny angry voice from inside the box.

 If she had been in a good mood, Chloe might have been able to forgive the slight injury to her finger. However, Chloe was far from being in a good mood, and the incomprehensible level of insult of being called “barbarian” was beyond forgiveness.  Which was why Chloe felt completely justified in smashing the top of the box with her pillow again.  

 “And there’s plenty more of that too!”  She yelled back.  

 Chloe hadn’t done much damage with the ultra-soft pillow, but she did managed to cave in the center of the box slightly.  Realizing she would need a better weapon she began reaching for the school bag she kept at the foot of her bed when two pure blue, insect like eyes peeked out from the damaged box.  She froze and the eyes glared at her for a moment before the voice inside said,

 “It would appear that we are at an impasse then.”

 “Hardly,” Chloe scoffed at the tinny creature, casually relaxing back to a siting position. “You’re stuck in there, but I can crush that flimsy box with my bare hands if I wanted to.”

 The eyes narrowed to glare back at her.

 “That would be most unwise unless you desire another taste of our sting.”  It said warningly, but Chloe just scoffed again and began examining her nails.  

 “Please, my eye shadow is bigger than you.  If you think some little pin prick is going to, owe!”  

 Chloe winced and shook her hand as she suddenly realized that the spot she had been stung was beginning to hurt.  Looking closely she realized that the injured finger was red and noticeably swollen.

 “Fufufu.”  The thing in the box laughed hotly, its eyes narrowing in satisfaction.  “Our sting has more bite then you think, brute.”  

 If Chloe had been mad before, she was out right seething now.  

 “Listen you… whatever you are.  I am the Mayor’s daughter.  I am the closest thing to royalty you are ever going to meet.”  

 “Mayor’s daughter? Ha!”   The voice barked at her.  “You are speaking to the tutor of true royalty, you bumptious ruffian.  I have held court in a hundred lands, watched civilizations rise and fall with a wave of my arm, and have been personal advisor and confidant to the greatest queens in all of history!  Yet you dare try to command my respect with a pathetic, inherited title like ‘mayors daughter?’  An uncultured Wildwoman born into an undeserved seat of privilege?  You are not fit to shine to boots of our-“

 Slam! Slam!  Slam!

 Chloe had never considered herself to be a violent person, but then she had never considered herself to be a saint either.  Besides, the thing in the box should probably noticed she was reaching for her heaviest text book instead of getting caught up in itself as it insulted her.  

 When she had finished smashing the tissue box into crumpled mass of broken cardboard and shredded Kleenex, and was able to see the world in colors other than red, she realized that she had probably just murdered the horribly rude little what’s-it inside.  She poked cautiously at the box with the corner of the history book.

 “Um…  You… still alive in there?”

 There was no response.

 Deciding that she was in way over her head.  She quickly got up and went back to her bed to search for phone to call someone for help.   Completely forgetting that she had just thrown her phone out the window, she frantically searched among the upturned pillows until she felt the point of a venom tipped stinger jab into her backside.

 “Yeowch!”

 Chloe howled in pain and hopped around rubbing her pricked posterior muttering increasingly explicit expletives as she did.  The tinny yellow and black creature hovering just behind her gave a cry of victory.  

 “Ha!  Surrender, you vulgar guttersnipe!  You’ll not do away with Us so easily!  Our mastery in the art of combat second to none amongst our-“

 Smash!

 Chloe brought the book down on top of the creature as hard a possible and ground its little body into the floor with all the furry she could muster.  

 After a few seconds of pressing down with all her weight she pulled the book away to look at the remains of her attacker.  The creature was completely flattened in an almost cartoonish fashion.  It blinked once up at her once and then popped back into its proper shape.  As it sat up it shook its head and groaned, letting Chloe finally get a good look at it.  

 The first thing she noticed about it was its distinctly yellow and black stripe coloring.  It had a tuft of white fluff around its neck and chest like a fur frock, and a bulbous head that was bigger than its body with two black antennae sticking out the top.  Everything about the creature screamed “Bee” and with an awful jolt Chloe realized,

 “You’re the guardian spirt thing of my miraculous, aren’t you?”  

 The bee thing seemed to snap out of its daze and stared up at her, it’s solid blue eyes wide with horror.  

 “Your miraculous? Impossible!  The guardian would never entrust a Miraculous of such grace and refinement as Uurs to an uncouth savage such as you.  Unless…”  The Kawmi stood and preened the fluff around its chest thoughtfully as Chloe fought back the urge to smash it flat again.  “Tell me, what year is this?”

 Chloe took a deep breath and replied,

 “Twenty eighteen.”

 The Kwami took a step back and seemed dazed again, it’s eyes wide with shock.  

 “Two thousand and eighteen? No.  No that can’t be…  We could not have been kept asleep for so long as that.  Why would…”

 The tinny Kwami’s voice trailed off as it stared out into nothingness.  Chloe arched an eyebrow as she watched the shocked creature seemed lost in its own thoughts.  Then it began to tremble slightly.  

 “Um, hey?  Are you okay?”  

 The Kwami didn’t answer but began to shake harder.  Not knowing what else to do, Chloe leaned down and poked it gently along its side. The Kwami screamed and shot off like a rocket away from her.  Chloe jumped back in surprise as well and landed quite painfully on her now swollen rear. As she rolled onto her side and clutched at her pained posterior, the Kwami stopped in midair and looked around it confusion as if not sure where it was.  As soon as it caught site of Chloe it rounded on her in anger and embarrassment.

 “How dare you touch me, you wretch!”

 Chloe glared up it from the floor.  

 “I was only trying to help you, you ungrateful little monster!  You were freaking out so bad you’re lucky I didn’t just hit you with the book again.”

 The Kwami looked at her appalled.  

 “We… We were doing no such thing!  We are a module of normality and poise.  There is nothing the least bit freakish about us.  If anything, you are the only freak in this room.   Just look at your eyebrows.  They look as if you had drawn them on with mud crusted stick.  And those swollen lips make you look like a bullfrog waiting for a-“

 Thwack!

 Despite being an ancient spiritual guardian, the Kwami seemed yet to have learned not to strike a regal pose and close their eyes when insulting someone holding a makeshift weapon. Chloe on the other hand had just discovered that hitting small creatures with a history book sideways was just as satisfying as smashing it down on top of them.  Especially when the annoying little pest flew strait into wall, rebounded slightly, and fell neatly into potted plant below like a goal hoop.  

 As the tinny creature pulled itself out of the pot with a grunt of effort, it glared little venom tipped daggers at Chloe.  

 “Oh, We think that will be quite enough of that.”  

 Chloe gulped as she strengthened her grip on the history book.  

  About thirty minutes later Chloe sat panting and straining amongst the overturned wreckage of her living room.

 A trail of destruction ran through the entire apartment.  It began at the destroyed tissue box in her bedroom, trailed up and over the disheveled bed, and into the ruined closet that had only one of its French doors still attached to the frame while the other lay in shattered pieces amongst the scattered shoes and torn designer outfits littering the floor inside.  The trail continued back out into the bedroom, past the smashed remains of the tipped over potted plant, into the hall connecting the bed to the rest of the apartment where the window closest to the bedroom had been broken out as if something had been batted through it and into the nights sky.  Further along the wall, the remains of another window lay shattered over the floor as if something had flown back into the apartment in a berserk furry.  

 The trail then crisscrossed and zigzagged over overturned furniture until it ended in the living room where Chloe sat amongst the torn open cushions and ripped out history pages, gritting her teeth in pain and held shut a thrashing and angrily buzzing history book with her swollen and cut hands.  

 “And you can just stay in there until you learn some manners you horrible little cockroach!”  she growled, slamming the book against the floor a few more times.  She continued to wrestle and mumble curses at the book, completely oblivious to the world until,

 “M-mademoiselle?”  

 Her head snapped up in surprise to see her faithful butler standing in the door way holding a serving tray and looking at her in complete astonishment.  

 Chloe quickly hid the still thrashing history book behind her back and gave it a good rap with her scraped knuckles to tell it to be still as she and her butler looked at one another.  And at the wrecked penthouse.  

 Chloe herself looked, if possible, even worse than her apartment did.  She had been stung at least a dozen times, leaving painful looking red welts on her forearms, neck, hands, face, and several places not visible under her torn silk nightclothes.  Bits of debris, including the closet door she had fallen though, were tangled up in her hair which had come partially loose from its’ usual ponytail. Her expression was one of child with her hand caught in the cookie jar.  After first getting into a barroom brawl with the cookie jar and shattering it all over the floor in the process.    

 Serge blinked at her in shock for only a few seconds more before he sprang into action.  In one move he righted a nearby footstool, placed the serving tray atop it, crossed the five feet separating Chloe from the door, kneeled at her side and began checking the extent of her injuries with one hand as he whipped out his phone and began dialing the number for hotel security with the other hand without looking.

 “Mademoiselle, what on earth had happened to you?”  

 Chloe looked around guiltily as she tried to keep the history book hidden behind her back.

  “Um…  there was a… bee.”    

 Serge stopped with his finger hovering over the dial button to look at her.  

 “A bee, mademoiselle?” He asked, his eyes darting to the red welts covering her exposed skin.  

 “…It was a big bee.” Chloe replied flatly.  Serge looked at the torn hem of her pajama shirt and the chaos broken furniture and torn paper surrounding them.  Feeling the need to further elaborate Chole added,

 “…I won.”  

  Authors Notes:

 Regarding the lateness of this chapter:  This chapter was originally MUCH longer.  However I have been informed by everyone that I know that 28 pages and 9,000 words is not an appropriate average length for one chapter, so it has been split up into two. You can expect to see another chapter of this length very soon.  

 Regarding the recent Zag Spoilers:  Yes, I am aware of them.  No. they will not be changing anything in the story.  It’s an AU for a reason.  

 Please leave a review!

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 31)

Ruby and Blake trekked back to Keeper's Hollow, a pole on their shoulders supporting a giant, seven-foot long, several-hundred-pound weight tuna; the latter had a content smile on her face, her stomach noticeably distended.

“We're home, and we brought tuna!” Ruby called out as they came to the foot of the elevator. “Well, just a tuna because Blake got hungry on the ride back, but she'll share with everyone! Except Weiss, sorry about that!”

Silence, not even the sounds of anyone heading out to the elevator.

Ruby frowned. “Uncle Qrow? Penny? Weiss? Zwei? Any of you guys home…?”

It was then that she noticed three figures sitting on the highest balcony of the house--”Qrow's Nest” as her mother used to call it, because of how fond he was of going up there alone. One was clearly Zwei, laying down and looking forlorn; the other two were sitting over the edge, nursing drinks in their hands.

Ruby sighed, her face falling. <Oh no...>

Blake frowned. <You need help with drunk duty?> she asked as they set the tuna down on the ground. <I'll help with Qrow, but Weiss is all yours.>

Ruby shook her head. <Nah, I got this; you get this tuna in the fridge, before the Weavers' spell starts to run out,> she said as she headed up the ladder on the side.

After the fish was safely cut up and stored, Ruby made her way up to Qrow's Nest. Zwei looked up from both Qrow's and Weiss' laps as she poked her head out of the hatch; he panted happily at her, before put his heads back where they were, anchoring them to the floor with his weight, eyes watching them both carefully.

Qrow turned around and waved. “Hey Ruby,” he said, slurring slightly.

“Hey Uncle Qrow,” Ruby said, trying to smile. “You're not both drunk, are you...?”

“Just buzzed, but Weiss is 100% sober,” Qrow replied, before he took another sip of his beer.

“It's impossible to get drunk on milk, after all,” Weiss grumbled, before she took a swig of her own drink.

Ruby blinked. “You're drowning your sorrows in milk?”

“Yes! Because apparently the fermentation process for all your alcohols involves so much bacteria it'll utterly annihilate my stomach as is, and your uncle here only seems to ever buy the shitty, beer-flavoured water than the good brands.”

“Well excuse me for being poor…” Qrow muttered.

“So, how'd the Job Gauntlet go?” Ruby asked quickly.

“Terrible!” Weiss replied. “I failed every single exam. Did you know I'm completely unqualified for any sort of job the Fae could offer me? I have printed evidence from the professionals to prove it, just ask Penny when she's done with her daily maintenance!”

“Did you try the Watchers like Elder Goodwitch asked?”

“She did,” Qrow replied. “The holo for her combat test's gone viral all over AoA.” He switched languages. <It's called 'Soft-Skin Schnee Gits Wrekt.'>

“Go watch it,” Weiss grumbled.

Ruby frowned. “I don't know, Weiss, it sounds pretty--”

“Just do it. The sooner all of you Fae watch it for the fifteen-hundredth time and collectively get sick of it, the better.”

“Shit, Weiss, that holo's going in the Hall of Fame!” Qrow said. “Hundreds of years from now, we're still going to be pulling that out of the Codex and thinking 'Man, you'd think this'd get old, but it just gets funnier each time!'”

Weiss scowled. “That's a very encouraging thought, Qrow,” she said through gritted teeth.

Qrow shrugged. “Just making sure your expectations are realistic! It's easier to just face your shit reality and do something about it now, than waste time and energy pretending things are going magically to become better. Trust me, sooner or later, the smell's going to be impossible to ignore.”

Ruby sighed quietly. “I'll just go do that, then...” she said as she climbed back down.

“Watch it on the HV!” Qrow called out. “It's better with big resolution!”

Later, Blake and Ruby were sitting on the couch, grilled tuna slices, cookies, and milk between them. They loaded up the holo, skipped through the technical details and the info that was for the benefit of the senior Watchers handling recruiting.

They watched Zwei come out from the cage. Ruby smiled, Blake frowned.

<...And for the purposes of this test: ZWEI on FIRE!> Nora cried.

Zwei was set alight with soul fire. Ruby frowned, Blake smiled.

As the giant, flaming, two-headed canine came bounding towards her, Weiss turned around and fled, arms in the air and screaming at the top of her lungs.

<… And our recruit is off, trying to put some distance between her and—oh, nope! Zwei caught up to her already.> In Nivian, “Cardio, Weiss, cardio!”

Weiss replied by shrieking in renewed terror as Zwei grabbed her in one of his mouths, bit down just hard enough to hold her steady as he shook her side-to-side.

“Use your sword!” Nora cried.

Weiss whacked the hilt on the side of Zwei's head.

“Use your sword as a sword!”

Zwei carefully tossed her away. Weiss went flying for several feet, rolling as she hit the dirt. She dropped her rapier as she scrambled back up to her feet and started running for higher ground.

“Wait, Weiss—you dropped your weapon!”

“I KNOW!” Weiss screamed, tears streaming down her face now.

Zwei stopped and looked up at Nora, conflicted and still alight.

<Go get her, boy!> she called out. <She's not going to pass if you go too easy on her!>

Zwei turned to Weiss over on the other side of the arena, sobbing and jumping up and down, trying to reach a handhold that was just slightly taller than she was.

Blake choked on her fish from laughing so hard. Ruby smacked her on the back as they continued watching.

“Turn around and shoot him!” Nora cried. “His vitals are getting low! Well, low enough for you to get a good score!”

Weiss turned around, held up her shooting arm, and fired. Because of the tears in her eyes and the absolute terror she was experiencing, most of the darts missed Zwei in spite of him being an incredibly large target that was only getting closer.

Weiss ran out of ammo, the repeater kept on spinning and whining as she held the trigger.

“Reload! Reload! Reload!”

Weiss started smacking the release lever, her hand missing several times.

“No, Weiss, point it away from your--!”

The empty canister popped out and flew into her eye. “GAH!”

“--Too late.”

Weiss groped about, dropping two of her extra canisters before she finally got a grip on the third. She was about to load it into her repeater when the bright glow of the Pit's floodlights were replaced by an ominous, green hue.

Zwei slowly padded up to her, both heads deep in thought, unsure of what to do.

Weiss screamed, threw the canister at him, it bounced harmlessly off his left head.

Zwei barked.

Weiss dropped to the floor and curled up in the fetal position.

The horn was sounded.

Birds came by and dropped cure water on Zwei, extinguishing the soul fire. An extraction crew came up, along with Penny and a Therapy Mender carrying a well-worn, much-loved limited edition Eluna plushie the Watchers kept on-hand for situations like this.

There was a final shot of Weiss hugging it and squeezing it to her chest as she was carted away, before the video ended.

Blake snatched up the remote, and pressed the replay button.

Ruby heard a door opening, turned around saw Weiss dejectedly walking back into their room, her milk exchanged for one of her bottles of bacteria culture. She picked up her dinner and went on after her.

She knocked on the door with her horns. “Weiss?” she called out. “Can I come in?”

“It's your room, you decide!”

Ruby frowned, and opened the door. She saw Weiss already lying on her side in her hammock, gently rocking back and forth as she hugged Winter's Eluna plushie, an empty bottle on the floor.

“You want some milk and cookies?” she asked as she held up her dinner.

“Already had way too many,” Weiss muttered.

“Okay,” Ruby said. She walked over to her nest, and sat down on one of her pillows. “So...”

“So, what am I going to do about my being a NEET?”

“A what?”

“It's an acronym: 'Not Employed, in Education, or Training,'” Weiss explained. “I guess it's the human equivalent of Moss.”

Ruby nodded. “Yeah, that. So, do you have any talents or anything? Song, dance, arts and crafts, maybe? I'm sure we can use your being a human as a gimmick while you're starting out and building a fan base—I'll even be your audience if you need someone to test an act out on!”

“I can sing, but I think I'll just sell my body to science,” Weiss replied. “If being a star with the Fae is anything like being a star with us humans, the competition's going to eat me alive by virtue of being able to talk with their fans anytime they want without needing a translator…”

Ruby frowned. “Weiss...”

“You don't need to come with me to the Chronicler's Grove,” Weiss said as she turned away from Ruby and to her other side. “Qrow and Penny are already overdue for a 'brain drain,' so they're taking me with them tomorrow morning.”

Ruby sighed and put her food down. “Weiss, you can't just give up like this!” she said as she got up and walked over to the other side of her hammock.

“And why not?!” Weiss snapped, glaring at her, tears beginning well in her eyes once more. “Let's face the facts here, Ruby: I'm completely, absolutely useless to all of you!”

Ruby blinked. “Well duh! I thought that was already pretty obvious.”

Weiss gritted her teeth. “You were supposed to tell me I'm not useless.”

Ruby frowned. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I was fishing for compliments!”

“Fishing for what now?”

“It's when we talk bad about ourselves so other people will try and make us feel better...”

Ruby paused, and slowly raised a finger. “Weiss, let me get off topic for one moment:

“THIS IS WHY I FUCKING HATE NIVIAN! 'THE DOVE DOVE,' 'THE KNIGHT RIDES OUT AT NIGHT,' THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF 'SARCASM' WHERE YOU SAY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU MEAN FOR 'EMPHASIS'!

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER INVENT A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE FOR EVERYONE IN AN ENTIRE REALM WITH THE INTENT OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD 90% OF THE DAMNED TIME?!

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS?!”

Weiss stared up at her, stunned.

“Whew!” Ruby sucked in a deep breath. “Look, I'm sorry, but I had to get that out of my system!

“Anyway… Weiss, you're going to find something you can do to make yourself useful, and even if it's probably going to be just me and Penny, we're going to help you find it. We'll put you through a training regime, teach you Actaeon and all the other stuff you'll need to know, help you develop a skill than you can use to make something out of your life!

“There's a saying in Actaeon—something about every animal, from the smallest bacteria to the biggest monsters in the Timeless Depths being here in Avalon for a reason, all of them with a purpose in life, and because we Fae are animals too, that means we have those too!

“Maybe it won't be as obvious and instinctive as sheep existing to eat grass and get eaten by thunder wolves, who keep their population in check so they don't eat all the grass and everyone dies of starvation…

“… But you're not going to be useless forever, Weiss.

“Maybe now, yeah, you can't do anything right, but way back when, the Valley was just a big patch of wet dirt and swampland that happened to get shade from the sun because of the Twin Peaks, and retained a lot of the water from the Flood.

“But now look at it, after we Fae moved in and put in the work to try and make it better...”

Ding.

Weiss could see the light bulb go off in Ruby's head.

“… And I just got a great idea!”

“It's not going to involve faking my own death again, is it...?” Weiss asked warily.

“Nope!” Ruby replied, beaming. “Go to sleep, Weiss—you're going to need it!” she said as she hurried on out, stopping only to grab her dinner.

Weiss sat up. “Ruby, wait--!”

She was already out the door.

Weiss sighed, before she laid back down, and decided to just do as she was told and get some shut-eye.

Whatever it was Ruby had planned this time, it could wait till morning.

In the living room, Qrow and Blake were still rewatching the footage of Weiss' ill-fated fight, drinks laid to the side after one too many choking and spitting incidents.

<Uncle Qrow!> Ruby said as she zoomed up right to the back of the couch.

Qrow turned around. <Yeah, Ru--?> he dodged and avoided being accidentally gored with her horns.

Blake noticed, and paused the video.

<Sorry!> Ruby cried. <Do we still have dad's old tools?>

<Uh, yeah, they're in the shed, still on the old hooks on the wall—why do you ask?>

<Because, I've got a great idea to help Taiyang stay here!> Summer replied.

Qrow blinked, shook his head, and noticed Ruby frowning at him.

<A flash again...?> she asked.

<Yeah, don't worry about it,> Qrow replied.

Ruby sighed. <You should really go get your chronicle fixed, Uncle Qrow.>

<Not until that doesn't come with a mind wipe...> Qrow grumbled as he turned back to the HV. <Go get Penny to help you, I've stuffed a LOT of crap in there over the years, and I don't know what might have nested there since the last time I opened that door.>

<Will do, Uncle Qrow!> Ruby said, before she zoomed off once more.

<What was that all about?> Blake asked.

Qrow shrugged. <Who knows? Now unpause that holo, we're almost to the best part!>