#I did manage to condition myself into writing almost everyday around noon

[hylukotranslations]

FOOL'S MATE - May 2005 Album: Juusankai wa gekkou (13th floor with moonshine)

Atsushi Sakurai (Vocal) Interview by Koh Imazu

Your new album is a type of album that Buck-Tick experimented for the first time, isn't it. I mean the point where you always keep the same context and let the songs evolve around it.

This was a point we paied attention at while making the album. So we tried not to go outside this frame.

As the lead vocals and as the lyric writer ?

Yes. This time there was "the gothic" as the general theme. If I wished it, I could work deviating more or less from it, but I tried docilely (laughs) not to go out of it.

When you say you tried not to deviate from it, we can hear it as an obligation, but wasn't it naturally that you did it without deviating ? That what I thought when I listened to this world.

Yes. Since it was a theme that I like, I could do it quite naturally.

If you wrote all the lyrics except one, was it also because you like this world ?

Because of it, and also for what Imai said : "this time if I write lyrics they may sound like explanations. So, it's preferable that the singer writes them himself." Also because when you try to enter the lyrics of someone else, there are limits.

Even after all these years you experienced ?

Yes. Even if you take just one word, only the one who wrote it knows in which intention he used it.

And you can't ask him his intention for all the words he used.

Since there is a kind of impatience about it, and since this time it was about a world that I personnally like, I also managed to write as many lyrics as possible. Unlike the previous albums, there was a concept at the beginning so it was more easy for me to write them.

Above all, where did this concept of "gothic" come from ?

As usual, from Imai. He was thinking about it during the tour for the previous album. He also said that he was convinced it was the right theme when he saw my solo stage.

About your solo stage, the set was very simple. If he got that conviction watching this stage, he was surely inspired by your performance itself.

Well, probably.

By the way, when we ask you "gothic", you can answer one hundred things about that keyword, right ?

Said excessively that way, that's right (laughs). I thought that if time permetted it, I wished I could always go on with that recording session.

Lately we can hear in various domains the term "gothic", or "goth" in an abbreviated form, but as far as you are concerned, when did you know about it for the first time ? I guess around Bauhaus ?

That's right. When I knew Bauhaus for the first time, I had unconditionally a kind of feeling saying : "I found what I like !". Until that moment people recommanded me stuff saying : "this one is good", but I wasn't that interested in them. Like the Pistols, I couldn't like their stuff as much as the other persons.

About Bauhaus, were you interested in their music like in their visual as a whole ?

Yes.

When we watch the PV of one of their representative song "Telegram Sam", we can see the parts of the shadows which aren't lit up by the light are used in a very efficient and powerful way.

Yes. I really can feel it. If they didn't have this kind of aspect, I think I haven't liked them that much until now. I really liked that intention from the members of showing the shadows.

You, Acchan, also try to show shadows.

Yes, in the moments where I am overexcited while writing lyrics or when I am on stage. Usually when I am on stage, I pay attention to the spotlights, but after years I also started to go intentionnally a bit away from the center of the light.

By moving away from the light, some parts on you become shadows.

Yes, when the light strongly lights up my face I am dazzled and I can't see anything, so I have a moment's panic. But I like that feeling too (laughs). So I also like to move away from it and make shadows. For that, I watched Bauhaus' videos and I found it so cool, so I studied them. I learned that there is the shade since there is the light, and there is the light since there is the shade. I also knew that it wasn't interesting to only light up everything.

And how is it at home ?

While writing the lyrics I only light on one lamp. And when the sun rises, thank to the curtains wich intercept the light it's still dark (laughs).

Do you have gothic items in you room ?

I would so like to buy some thoroughly, but I'm not someone that assidius. Thought I have some masks. (pointing his head) Since it's deranged in there (laughs).

Including the new album, do you always write the lyrics in the dark ?

Yes. In the daytime when the weather is good and sunny, I have the impression that I can't defeat the sun. Since its light seems to be justice.

You say justice (laughs)

If I want to feel peaceful, I think it would be like everyone under the sun. But it's during the night that various stories come to my mind. Since the night can be just as well evil as pure... About the day and the night, I think it's the same thing as what I just said about the light and the shadow. One of the two can't be accomplished alone. So when I'm on one side I'd like to be always aware of the opposite side.

Then in the daytime are you aware of the night ?

Yes. I'm a night owl and I can like doubtful stuff (laughs). And in the daytime there is no place where I can hide.

I guess that the hero of "Romance - Incubo-" would hide inside a coffin.

Ahahahaha (laughs).

Do you like the vampires ?

I think they are attractive. The way they can't live under the sun but give free rein to all their talents at night (laughs). But an adult like me shouldn't say such things (laughs).

Usually as we become good adults we tend to be of the morning side, but you Acchan are still of the night side.

I'd like to be always a one of the night side. Today I'm still waiting everyday for the night.

Finally this new album fits you like a glove. Since from the opening song "Kourin (Advent)" you sing : "Wake up. The night is beginning right now"

Indeed (laughs).

This time it appears that they are many songs, not only "Romance - Incubo-" and "Kourin", where the stage is the night. But on the other hand, I noticed several twisted situations. For example, in "Cabaret" or "Doll", there are parts where you sing as if you were a woman.

Maybe before I could feel resistance for doing it. But when, for my solo carrier, I did the cover of "Amaon wa Chopin no shirabe (rain's sounds are Chopin's melodies)" which is sang by a woman, I knew that "I just have to change my feeling to become one character". Since I had that experience, this time I could do it quite easily.

Is writing lyrics with the words of a woman and singing it like a mental disguise as a woman ?

Yes, though I could never be a woman. But in the songs I used the words of a woman so that I can be a woman in an almost vulgar way.

By writing yourself these words of a woman, is it more easy for you to put yourself in a woman's shoes ?

Whichever lyrics I write, I put into words what comes in my mind, so in my head I'm already in her shoes. Well, another way was probably to ask a woman to sing.

But then the meaning tends to change.

Yes. What I wanted in "Cabaret" was the vulgar side of a man who tries to dress up as a woman. Moreover, it's not about an external disguise as a woman, but he is inwardly a woman. It's about that kind of man who wants a man. In "Doll", one of the characters is a doll, but mentally it is awoken as a woman.

There are parts for a man and parts for a woman. When you sing such songs, do you record them separately ?

No, they were recorded at one go. But I did the changes paying careful attention. In the first and second lines I have the role of a little girl who is a doll, in the second verse A the role of the master, and so on. I can say it for the whole album, but this time I don't sing as the lead vocals Atsushi Sakurai, but as someone who acts a role in each song.

Then in "Doukeshi A (Clown A)" you act a pierrot ?

Yes. And when I'm on stage somewhere I feel like I'm a pierrot.

Did you ever think you were a pierrot ?

Yes. In the fact of entertaining the audience by showing myself. I felt in particular opposition to be seen as a known artist. The others know me but I don't know them. I thought : then, what am I ? At the time of the album "Six/Nine", I had plenty of time to feel unable to understand myself. This way I could plunge deeply into it, and as a result I think we did a good album.

And today, how do you feel about being watched ?

It's like : come on, look at me (laughs). I became kind of bold, or tough faced with it. In "Doukeshi A" I sing : "noone cares about you", so I think today I feel sufficiently at ease so that I can say that. Especially for this album where there are numerous songs where I act a role, I must not be too much conscious of myself. Unless I feel embarrassed and I can't get right into the part. Then after I can regret it. So I stayed as much as possible in a condition where I was into the part and felt full of confidence (laughs). This was another thing from singing right or not.

What about the fact of singing right ?

I and the director give more importance to the "taste" than to sing well or not. And during the recording session it could occur that I sing intentionnally sharp. I payed attention at least not to be too much false, but I fundamentally favoured the characters (laughs).

However, I think you can do that since you possess a solidly-based technique. For the lives, from a certain period your singing began to lead the band. Moreover you've been maintaining perfect notes.

It's true that if I'm not self-satisfied to a certain point, by twisting my way of singing I'll only become a bad singer (laughs). I think there is also the fact that I can sing now at a high level since I use the ear-monitor. Though with it the feeling of the lives disappear.

What do you mean ?

I can't hear at all the audience, so that sometimes I feel anxious : "maybe I'm not popular ?" (laughs).

Where did the title of the album "Jyuusankai wa gekkou (13th floor with moonshine)" come from ?

It's Imai who found it. He surely wanted it to sound disturbing (laughs).

But when we consider the album as a whole, it doesn't end at all in a total blackness. Humour is hiding too in an inevitable way.

Yes. Humour and pathos were for me elements of gothic as well. We can also talk about fantasy for this album. I thought it would be nice if it gives the impression to read tales moving away from the reality. When we say gothic we can also imagine pretty demons.

Like the combination between the lolitas and the gothic in the fashion...

That's right ! But in this album, apart the gothic I had my own theme. Like light and shade, life and death. So, the songs begin by the birth, and at the beginning it should have ended by the death, but Imai changed the order of the songs so that it became : "in fact I was alive" (laughs).

And this last song "Diabolo - lucifer -" ends by the phrase : "to your darkness, I give a toast !" If we follow this interview, it can be interpreted by : the night isn't that bad after all ?

Yes (laughs).

So in conclusion, the two inevitable questions for this period. First, about the 20th anniversary.

It's so different from what I really feel. Talking about the real time it must be something considerable, but I don't remember all the events that occured during this time. I feel it shorter than the figure of 20.

When did you know it was your 20th anniversary ?

When we were interviewed about it for our fan-club's newsletter, there I knew it for the first time (laughs).

What did you think at that moment ?

That it was like the singers of enka (note : traditional japanese songs) (laughs). The fact that it's about "anniversary", it sounds like if we're making many efforts and I don't like it (laughs).

Then the second question, about your next tour.

Considering the subject of this album, we are thinking a lot about the visual aspect. Since we even wished that the world of each song could become a movie, we want to do lots of things.

--fin

translation: hyluko [livejournal] scans: tigerpal [livejournal]

NOTE: these translations are not mine also might not be very accurate. i took them from hyluko’s site using the wayback machine. thought they’re great to share. if the owner is around and wants me to take them down i will!

[otdderamin]

How the "Wednesday Club" Helped Normalize Autism

Geek & Sundry has a new show called the "Wednesday Club" where Amy Dallen, Taliesin Jaffe, and Matt Key discuss comics to make them accessible. Wednesday at noon PST on Twitch and Alpha (taking questions from Twitch chat). It's a fabulous show. They do a good job of talking about broad topics without getting too into the nitty gritty of a particular story. They're really good about checking themselves when they do get detailed and explaining the specific character, comic, or plot better. It's easy to follow even if you're not already familiar with the comics they're discussing.

This week's episode was talking about "Legion (TV show) and portrayals of mental health in comics." I was really psyched for it. As in--this is not hyperbole--I woke up in the same horrible pain my disability's inflicted for the last few weeks, dragged myself out of bed, forced myself to eat a peanut butter sandwich with an unhealthy amount of ibuprofen, and staggered into my chair to watch this episode. Use that to gage my expectations for how good I was expecting it be. It was mind-blowingly better.

This is just one example of what made this episode incredible: A viewer, who identified themselves as autistic, asked about comic book recommendations for people with autism. Everything about how they took the question, how they answered it, was so spectacular. I was too engrossed and shocked to really process what I'd just seen the first time. Partly because it was so bloody normalized. I went back a few hours later, rewatched this part, and started crying. Half from joy that this happened, and half from sadness that this isn't just normal. They took the time to answer a question to the best of their abilities that almost any other show would pass up as unimportant or inconvenient, especially if it challenged them.

That whole nine and a half minutes was a textbook example of how autistic people constantly ask to be treated, and almost never are. They gave him agency and authority over his life, and respected his perspective as valuable and interesting. They just generally acted like he was any other human being, and greeted him with warmth and enthusiasm. It should be obvious that that's how you treat anyone. I should not be talking about like I just stubbed my toe on the Maltese Falcon half-buried in a sandy beach. But I am because it's that rare in real life. I've never remotely seen it in front of a live camera. I'm writing this, transcribing this, and sharing this because good examples of how to be a decent person are how we educate ourselves out of ignorant bigotry and stigma.

I'm not autistic, but I am neurodivergent in a way that's given me a lot of similar experiences to my friends who are. One of those close friends, who I met through D&D, is a teacher and autism rights activist. I've run most of these thoughts by her to check myself through her perspective. I don't want to speak for her, but I do want to help amplify her voice.

Her research has put her into contact with good examples of the everyday abuses perpetrated against autistic people by mainstream medical professionals, ignorant people, and other bigoted people in power. They show how autistic identity is erased and despised, their personhood stripped. Not in a way that helps any autistic person manage better in the world, but in a way that seeks to hurt them. She frequently shares some of these examples and deconstructs why they're awful. If you're not autistic, it's important to understand the context of what autistic people frequently face because it will help you understand how truly spectacular this response was.

  Neurodiversity

I have personally found the framework of the neurodiversity paradigm to be useful, if squishy. The bounds of 'neurotypical' to 'neurodivergent' are their own debated spectrum. Sadly, simplicity is useful, but untrue; whereas complexity is true, but useless. There's not a lot of debate that autism is neurodivergent. This episode is labeled as discussing "portrayals of mental health in comics." But it is perhaps more accurate to say that it discussed neurodivergence in comics. Autism is not a mental illness, it’s a consequence of how a person is neurologically wired from birth. But there's a reason we tend to talk about managing it and experiencing it similarly to a mental illness, and neurodivergence is that reason. To varying degrees, neurodivergent people mentally function differently than people their society deems 'normal' (neurotypical). I'm not wired like my autistic friends, but because all of us never did and never could pass for normal because of our wiring, we have a set of shared experiences. We understand elements of each other's personalities where our brain wiring creates the same pattern, which may not exist at all in neurotypical people. Same reason I can commiserate with another mentally ill friend about where we overlap, but we have to explain the rest.

  How autistic people are frequently & abusively described

(Collecting these made me want to throw up and cry in disgust.)

"Autistics as Undomesticated Humans" https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-imprinted-brain/201608/autistics-undomesticated-humans

My friend's response: "I don't believe they ask this in the US, but when I was institutionalized in Germany, I was told that I was not worth treating because I would use up resources and kill myself in the end anyway. Eugenics is alive and well and applied to autistics daily." https://twitter.com/Alice__Kirby/status/835209015445553156

This "treatment" gave my friend PTSD. https://twitter.com/tbccautismABA/status/830511026730856449

Philosopher Peter Singer: "For me, the knowledge that my child would not be likely to develop into a person whom I could treat as an equal, in every sense of the word, who would never be able to have children of his or her own, who I could not expect to grow up to be a fully independent adult, and with whom I could expect to have conversations about only a limited range of topics would greatly reduce my joy in raising my child and watching him or her develop." http://www.thismess.net/2017/02/peter-singer-milo-of-philosophers.html

Unpack the very idea that if, very hypothetically, vaccines cause autism (they don't; dear gods how many times does this need to be proved), risking your child dying of a preventable disease is better than risking them developing, living with, autism.

  How autistic people describe themselves

"autism is just the way our brains are wired. we still have unique personalities." http://autpunk.tumblr.com/post/157740045930/oops-i-think-im-autistic

"We are not made wrong, or wired wrong, or something to be fixed, or worse��eradicated. … We are different. Innately born to see the world through an alternate lens. … We understand the torment of living in a world, where you not only feel like you don’t belong, but are told from the authorities that be (parents included) that your condition, your being, your very existence has 'affected' everyone around you." https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/2016/08/09/affected-by-autism/

  Everything the "Wednesday Club" got right in their response

Saying that it's great that an autistic person is being open about it. That it's not something to hide. (Autistic people as so often punished for that. Even autistic rights activists that identify themselves as autistic can lose standing with professionals who claim to want to help autistic people.)

Showing that a question from an autistic person is worth answering. (This rarely happens.) It's worth answering thoughtfully, seriously, and honestly, equal to any other question. (This practically never happens.)

Casually saying that autistic people and non-autistic people are friends and understand each other. I cannot overstate how normalizing that one sentence was. (Not can be, not should me, not technically capable of being, but are. Far from can't, or doing the autistic person a favor.)

Differing to autistic people as the authority on their experiences, on who they are. Not pretending you know better because you're not autistic. Saying that autistic people are different from each other and don't necessarily have the same experiences. (This barely even happens at autism conferences after autistic people have fought tooth and nail to be heard there for years. A lot of medical professionals claim they know the experience of autism better than the person experiencing it. That the autistic person should have no agency in helping them manage their lives. The worst abuses are derived from that line of thinking.)

Acknowledging that autistic people are a marginalized group who are looking for their own strengths, and need and want their own community of similar people.

Says that getting depictions of autism wrong is harmful. "Because in getting it wrong, you can perpetuate a stereotype into a wrong direction, or you can normalize something that shouldn't be." Saying that depictions of autism, even tacit ones, can be problematic. (Legitimately the first time I've seen "problematic" used anywhere near a discussion of autism as if they were any other marginalized group facing discrimination.)

Saying that there aren't a lot of direct depictions of autism in comics, but there are not‑labeled‑as‑autistic characters who have facets of their personality that autistic people can identify with, and those are still useful. (Autistic people are often maligned by bigots as incapable of understanding other people.)

Saying that not being normal is interesting, that sometimes crazy can be a super power. (For any neurodivergent or mentally ill person that's up there with "bullet proof black man" as an empowering statement of power of character to a marginalized group.)

Saying that the opinions of autistic people are valuable and interesting. Saying that an autistic person's draw to special interests, "wonderful hobbies," is fascinating. Saying, repeatedly, that autism can make someone valuable in ways no one else can be. (Autistic people are often ignored and erased. Their hobbies are often treated as boringly narrow, and derided as a waste of time. The contributions of any neurodivergent person are often treated as inferior to neurotypical people. Or exploited while denying the person respect or accommodations that would help them thrive.)

Acknowledging the feeling many autistic people have of "not being human." Acknowledging that many autistic people feel like they're mimicking and scripting social interactions with neurotypical people. (Because neurotypical society refuses to acknowledge or accommodate how autistic people experience the world.)

Acknowledging, like it's obvious, that autistic people can and do fall in love. That they can and do enjoy conceptually challenging art. (Autistic people are described by bigots as incapable of feeling emotions and lacking 'theory of mind,' the ability to understand that other people have different thoughts. Imagine being told that to your face by people who claim they know you better than you ever could and are thus there to help you. Imagine being told that as a child. Do the math on the psychological abuse.)

Showing an actual desire to give a better, more through answer. Acknowledging that they don't know as much as they could, and should seek more knowledge. That this question is worth researching. Taliesin followed up on Twitter saying, "we're gonna revisit it at some point, once we've dug a bit deeper." (Autistic people are routinely dismissed as unimportant, and inconvenient, their identities erased. A non‑autistic person's life being 'affected' by an autistic person is almost always used with negative connotation. But the Wednesday Club tacitly said, "Thank you affecting us," and that is basically what moved me so strongly.) https://twitter.com/executivegoth/status/837213450778468352

 To Amy Dallen, Taliesin Jaffe, and Matt Key, thank you. THANK YOU. You helped normalize autism. You helped keep someone's identity from getting erased. Your actions told someone they matter who, I suspect, has repeatedly been told and shown that they don't. You have garnered a tremendous amount of respect from me.

I have only one request for Geek & Sundry: make this episode available on YouTube. Help me share the best of what your network stands for with others. If you want people to tune in for this show, let them see this episode.

  Transcript

Times from: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/125658409

 01:10:23 Taliesin: "Somebody, actually, I want to say AutisticCosplay, which is a great handle, was asking, 'I'm not a Marvel or DC person, but people have told me I should look in the X-Men because I have autism.' And I don't know if-- You should read the X-Men because they're fun. But what would be a good comic book-- I'm trying to think of a good comic for someone-- I'm trying to think of my own friends who are on the spectrum and what they read."

1:10:46 Amy: "We'd love recommendations from anyone in the audience who is in this category."

1:10:49 Taliesin: "I'm really digging Shade the Changing Girl in that direction, actually. You read the first issue… So, this is a reboot of a new… It's a little psychedelic, if you're down. It's not a classic superhero, it's kind of a--"

[Amy puts out the comic.]

1:11:02 Taliesin: "This is the original."

1:11:03 Amy: "Got the classic here."

1:11:04 Taliesin: "Shade the Changing Man."

1:11:05 Amy: "Well, the semi-classic. Once again, like Doom Patrol, this was an older, '60s, character who got revamped under this wonderful Vertigo wave of DC reinvention."

1:11:14 Taliesin: "And crazy is his power."

1:11:16 Amy: "He wears something literally called a 'madness vest.'"

1:11:19 Taliesin: "And he's maybe from another dimension, but he makes people crazy-- So, again, problematic. But the new version is a popular girl, she's kind of a bitchy popular girl at a high school somewhere in the Midwest, who…"

1:11:36 Amy: "Previous to the events of the book, has fallen into a medical coma."

1:11:40 Taliesin: "Yeah, she was, not to give too much away, but she went skinny dipping with her kind of friends, with the kids who hung out with her because they needed to hang out with a popular person. And she hit her head, and they all just disliked her so much that they took a while dealing with it. So they're all [feeling] guilty. And then she woke up weird. And that's because there's a thing living inside of her that is shade."

1:12:04 Amy: "There is an alien creature using the power of the madness vest."

1:12:07 Taliesin: "So, it's not really even human anymore. So, it's this very off-kilter, not normal… thing. And they just think it's trauma, but maybe it's not, and I'm really liking it."

1:12:19 Amy: "I want more good recommendations. So, I'm wondering--"

1:12:22 Matt: "I don't know anything about what you-- I feel like an idiot."

1:12:24 Amy: "It's a really good, a really fun book."

1:12:26 Matt: "Whose is that!? I want to borrow that comic!"

1:12:28 Taliesin: "It's mine."

1:12:29 Matt: "Can I borrow...?"

1:12:29 Taliesin: "Of course you're going to borrow it."

1:12:30 Amy: "But the new one, Shade Changing Girl, which we might have a picture…"

1:12:32 Taliesin: "I have a copy here somewhere. Oh! Did I put a picture of Shade the Changing Girl in the…? I may have brought a digital copy of it, 'cause I don't own a physical copy of it. There should be a Shade in there."

[Comic is brought up on the screen.]

1:12:40 Amy: "The X-Men in general are turned to by people in all sorts of marginalized groups because they're almost always telling stories about people who don't fit in or don't feel normal, and the way that those people can find their own strengths, and find community, and come together. Which means they speak to tons of people in different groups. I'm curious about, specifically, heroes or things for people on the spectrum, and I'm not sure off the top of my head."

1:13:07 Taliesin: "I know; I'm feeling like a mild failure here."

1:13:10 Amy: "It's interesting, because one of those examples I eluded to in the intro was-- it's the dangers of applying labels to comic book characters. And there's a chance that I'm remembering this wrong, but I think it was James Tynion, who has been writing Cassandra Cain, who was talking about the fact that in some versions, Cassandra Cain, who, as a character became Batgirl, and was nonverbal for many years,"

1:13:38 Taliesin: "Completely."

1:13:38 Amy: "that she has been-- in some cases, people identify with her who are on the spectrum or who are borderline non-verbal. But there are other-- I think-- And please-- I'm worried to even say this because I need to fact check it, but I think it was James Tynion who was saying he was reluctant to but that label on it because the Cassandra Cain character has a history of specific traumatic abuse, that he wasn't sure-- that's not exactly fair to say-- that doesn't resemble the typical, if there is such a thing, experiences of a person who is on the spectrum. So, he'd rather treat her without that label then get it wrong. Or imply it where it doesn't belong."

1:12:16 Matt: "Yeah. Because in getting it wrong, you can perpetuate a stereotype into a wrong direction, or you can normalize something that shouldn't be."

1:14:25: Amy: "I should have checked on this before I said it. This is a memory of, probably, a Twitter conversation that I saw months ago. I should really nail down."

1:14:34 Taliesin: "I will saw, one of the great things-- I've been having this quote saved for the correct moment. 'One of the great things about comic books,' and this is paraphrasing Grant Morrison, who said, 'Sometimes superheroes exist to settle complex moral arguments by beating each other into the ground. Don't laugh, that's the way we deal with things in the real world, too.' But the nice thing about super heroes, though, is that they do break down these complex stories into more symbolic and metaphorical struggles. Which is why, sometimes even when they get it wrong, it's still useful. I had a weird thought for our AutisticCosplay friend, The Vision. The Vision book. It's very…"

1:15:10 Matt: "In fact, the Tom King... Oh! The reason why-- Oh my god, that's a good call."

1:15:14 Taliesin: "So, you all know The Vision from The Avengers. Now, it's kind of dark, and if you know The Vision from the Marvel movies, he's an android."

1:15:26 Amy: "A synthesoid."

1:15:27 Taliesin: "Synthesoid. And the book, he has built himself a wife and two children."

1:15:34 Matt: "And a dog."

[They discuss when in the story the dog was built.]

1:15:56 Taliesin: "And I would be curious-- Actually this is not a recommendation. AutisticCosplay, I actually would love for you to pick up a couple issues of this and tell us what you think. 'Cause I would be genuinely fascinated by your opinion of it, of how you feel. It's not a representation of autism, necessarily, but it's such a spectacularly interesting point of view, and it creates one of my new favorite characters. The Vision's daughter is now a character."

1:16:21 Matt: "Viv."

1:16:22 Taliesin: "Viv, in the Champions. And I cannot wait for the cosplay of this character. She's so cool! And so, I would be really curious to see what you think."

1:16:32 Matt: "I'm going to…"

1:16:34 Amy: "They're struggling with emotional issues and relating to people."

1:16:37 Taliesin: "Yeah, 'cause they're whole thing is they want to try and pretend to be-- they're like, we're going to try and be human, and we're going to be a human family, but they're not."

1:16:48 Matt: "Yeah. I want to tread carefully in saying this, because I myself am not autistic."

1:16:52 Taliesin: "We are in tread carefully territory."

1:16:53 Matt: "No, I know. But I also want to make sure that I'm respecting those of you who do deal with this. But it does feel like, even though they never label Viv, or Vision, or anyone in the family as having autism, or being on the spectrum in any way, their behavior, and their interaction with the world, does seem to 100% mimic…"

1:17:14 Taliesin: "Fall into that direction."

1:17:15 Matt: "or fall into that category in a way,"

1:17:18 Taliesin: "It's very analytical."

1:17:18 Matt: "that someone with autism might be able to actually really identify with that character, but still see the strengths of being who that person is."

1:17:26 Taliesin: "And then watching these analytical characters fall in love, and experience theater. One of the characters falls in love with Shakespeare and starts really identifying really heavily with Shakespeare. And there's this intense romantic relationship that one of the characters… It's fascinating."

1:17:44 Amy: "There is also-- You get really heartwarming stories like one that went around after Guardians of the Galaxy hit theaters,"

1:17:49 Taliesin: "Draxx."

1:17:50 Amy: "Where someone said, 'My brother,' I think it was they were talking about their brother, they watched the movie and their brother was just incredibly struck by watching Draxx."

1:18:00 Taliesin: "In the movie!"

1:18:00 Amy: "Literally for comedic effect, in the movie, their brother said, 'That's how I see the world!' And so, that's one of those, without intending to necessarily create a representation in an old hero, they did something that reached that viewer in a really special way."

1:18:18 Taliesin: "Please don't read Draxx in the comics, by the way. Nah."

1:18:20 Amy: "Quite different!"

1:18:20 Taliesin: "Not yet, not yet!"

1:18:21 Matt: "Very different. But I think there's something to be said for seeing-- I feel like so many times-- And I know this from my dealing with depression, you can feel-- I'm saying, me dealing with my depression and extrapolating that to someone who's dealing with autism, and that's the best that I can do. But it's good to see people who I know are depressed, who also kind of are able to manage it and see their own value, and continue to push through into the world and do their own thing. And I would imagine that someone with autism, on the spectrum in any capacity, would also enjoy that. And see that Draxx actually has an immense amount of value, and is invaluable to the team."

1:19:09 Amy: "Not related to his ability to pick up social cues."

1:19:09 Matt: "And despite his shortcomings or whatever else, despite all of that…"

1:19:12 Taliesin: "Which actually just makes him adored, and fabulous, and fun, and great. Without that he'd be less of a character."

1:19:18 Matt: "So, there's something to be said for, yes, this is something that you have to manage, and maybe something that you have to deal with, and maybe even something that you get made fun of, but that's also a wonderful part of who you are."

1:19:30 Taliesin: "And we have this-- Thanks to these cameras we have this wonderful community of people who can litmus test some stuff for us and tell us what they think."

1:19:38 Amy: "Are you checking us? Because that's important."

1:19:40 Taliesin: "Please! I'm so excited. I'm so excited to have people read some of these books, and I want to hear what you have to say."

1:19:47

[raksh-writes]

Gosh, Im feeling So lazy today, I should be working on my thesis as I've been doing pretty much everyday for almost two weeks now but Im just-- Im so tired today 😩 And all my brain wants to think about is the silly little self indulgent Skyrim's Kaidan x OC idea that I've been having on a backburner for some time because apparently that's the fanfic flavor of the day I guess??