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clood · 11 months ago

Text

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

MUAHAHAH time to be super annoying >:3c [copies and pastes the ones i've answered via ask]

1. How many words have you written this year? me: sees this question and immediately whips out the phone calculator this year i wrote 39,118 words! nowhere near as much as the freakish anomaly that was 2022, but still nothing to sneeze at ;) this is also not counting a SECRET WORK that i cannot reveal yet... that puts me at 41,208 heehee

2.How many works did you publish this year?

a nice, even 10!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

because of the nature of the reverse bang and getting to create a fic for someone else's art, i am very proud of both rose-tinted and play pretend. particularly play pretend, because i think i achieved the princess bride vibe i was going for.

then of course i am so proud of myself for venturing into the one piece world with i'll leave it to you, which i don't consider to be good very at all but it marks the point where i took a little leap and shared something in a new space! growth!

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

only human, no contest. such is the nature of multichapter and big bang works xD

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i'll leave it to you was so unexpected! with hxh being a relatively quieter fandom, i had no idea i would get as much engagement on a silly little oneshot in the one piece fandom as i did. bizarre.

goes to show that metrics like kudos and comments and hits are all fake and you should just write what makes you happy.

6. Favorite title you used

not so bad (after all) is such a good, classic something (something else) ao3 title xD

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

y'all. i'm being so for real when i tell you i am SHOCKED AND AMAZED at the fact that i did not use one single song lyric this year. what happened.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

LEOPIKA!!! you can tell i was in a leorio phase this year

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

LEOPIKAAAA!!! see above ;)

10. What work was the quickest to write?

the figurine disaster came so quick because it was so fucking funny in my head xD

11. What work took you the longest to write?

longest because of its length would obvi be only human. longest in terms of the emotional toll it took for me to figure out what the hell i was doing is nearly a tie between not so bad (after all) and play pretend.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

hmmm only the one that's been sitting in my wips for nearly 3 years now. librarian/florist au i will destroy you.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

my longest work this year is my hxhbb fic, only human, which sits at 16,724 words.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

omg so fun. conversely, my shortest work this year is the figurine disaster, a fic written for the greed island challenge server i help shal and liv run! this one has 1,221 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

please see question 12 orz

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

y'all i am so shit at tagging things on ao3. tie between fluff and missing scene, which only have 2 works each xD

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

LEORIO!!!!! i had so much fun with leorio this year, i'm so glad i found my rhythm with him this year because every fic with him has been so much fun to think about.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

oof i think i butchered melody, tbh. not so bad (after all) was SO HARD to write because i didn't know who the hell melody was deep inside the way i felt i did leorio, so it feels really unbalanced imo. however, i am still proud of that work and i think the one person it was written for enjoyed it, so that's all that matters!

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

leozep... more zosan... shuggy... i read this question wrong and therefore will not choose one

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

through sheer force of will in editing, i suppose only human.

through the absolute giddiness of entering a new fandom, i'll leave it to you.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

495. fic with most kudos was full bloom, merokomu fans have good taste

22. Which work has the most comments?

only human, as my only multichapter fic this year

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

if reverse bb fics count, then yes: rose-tinted and play pretend. otherwise, not this year!

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

yes!!!!! rose-tinted, play pretend, whisper in the wind, girl stuff, full bloom, and housewarming! 60% of this year's fics were gifted!

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

YES SOBS. my dear sweet selkie wrote me THREE gifts this year and then some friends in the greed island server came together with gifts!!! for mods!! where Fathomless_Crazy wrote Paint This Paling Town and i wept about it

26. What’s your most common category?

M/M lmao with gen in second place

27. What do you listen to while writing?

i think this year i was a total weirdo and sat in silence. i do have a tunes for typing playlist though with no words to distract me that's just a mix of classical, videogame and anime soundtracks, and some random lofi

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

maybe rose-tinted? or honestly the figurine disaster was kind of funny. although i did really have fun with i'll leave it to you. GAH.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oh christ. after brief reflection, i think the following chunk from my most recent fic and foray into the one piece fandom, i'll leave it to you, wins. the drama!! the angst!!

The reality is, Sanji has no idea what he’s doing, or even if he’s helping Zoro or just making everything worse. His hands, his goddamn fucking hands still tremble, and no amount of nicotine can help him now and—god fucking dammit Zoro is just bleeding through all the bandages Sanji is wrapping around him, staining a silk tiger crimson. So he keeps wrapping. There is nothing left for him to do but use up all the goddamn bandages he has. Sanji isn’t a god-fearing man, but as he works he is praying to whatever gods favor Wano—or don't, given what he’s seen of this desolate country—that he isn’t paralyzing or killing Zoro as he works.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

probably that i didn't do very much of it this year! i don't know where all the time went... through this it was a pleasant surprise to find that over half of my fics this year were gifts, so that's fun!

PHEW. now i cast the plague upon ye and tag everyone in the world who sees this to do it too :)

#i did it lol #clood speaks #long post #my writing

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pudgecuddles · 1 year ago

Note

Rich boy Namjoon goes to a furniture store run by Taehyung looking for a new armchair since he outgrew his last one.

Namjoon huffed and puffed as he waddled into the air conditioned store, Kim’s Furnishings. You see, he needed a new arm chair as he had broken his old one just the day before.

He wouldn’t really bother to do this himself, if he wasn’t so picky about the types of furniture he liked. For example, his current sofa is just too hard to get up and off of. He needs something sturdy, stylish and convenient.

“Hello! Welcome in!” A silky, baritone voice called out to him. “Oh dear, let me get you a bottle of water, I knew it was too hot out today.”

It really wasn’t. It was only 75 degrees out. Namjoon was just unused to walking nowadays.

Nevertheless, Namjoon looked up at his savior and gratefully replied, “Uhm, if you have a coke instead, I’ll take that.”

The other man, probably his age or younger, agreed. “I’ve got plain, zero or diet.”

Namjoon blushed, “Plain please. Or cherry if you have it. I’ll pay!”

“No need! Not for a customer.” His name tag said ‘Kim Taehyung’. “Right this way!”

Oh jeez, more walking. At least this time he was out of the sun. The store seemed pretty empty too, so there were no judging eyes to watch him waddle around.

Here you go! Taehyung handed over a sixteen ounce bottle of coke. “I got one with a screw top so you can carry it around the store without worrying about spill-”

-UUUUUURRRRRP!-

Namjoon had already opened and chugged the bottle down before Taehyung even finished talking.

“Ahh, that hit the spot. Thank you, Taehyung.” Namjoon handed back the empty bottle to the owner.

“O-Of course,” Taehyung said. “Lets get you to our showing rooms then. What are you looking for today?”

“A new armchair. Preferably one with a cup holder and made out of anything other than leather, that shit sticks to my skin.” Namjoon shuddered.

“Okay then, any styles you prefer? Modern? Traditional?”

“Modern please, that would fit with the rest of my décor.”

“Perfect, follow me. Our armchair collection is right this way.” Taehyung stopped dead in front of the stairs leading up to the second floor of the showroom. He took a moment to look up and down at Namjoon’s obese body. “Uhm, will you need assistance with the stairs? We have an elevator if you’d prefer to use that.”

Elevators were Namjoon’s greatest fear. He was terrified that he’d step into one one day and break it. That he’d grown too big to take them.

“I-I’ll take the stairs.” It was only about thirteen steps in total, kind of on the low side for the average stair case. This would be fine! “Here we go!”

Lifting even one flabby leg onto the first step made Namjoon want to just turn around and give up. The second step made him want to die. Oh god, he was going to be a panting, sweaty mess by the end of this wasn’t he?

Regardless, he continued. One foot in front of the other, bulging belly slapping against his thick thighs. Soon enough, sweat began pouring down his face, darkening the fabric around his neck and pits. His hands, clenching the railing grew clammy too.

Heaving great breathes, with one final step Namjoon had beaten the stairs.

Taehyung watched on, as his newest client struggled and sweated his way up to the second level, taking solid minutes where as it took him seconds to climb to the top.

“Would you like to sit down?” Taehyung called out hesitantly, not wanting to offend his customer.

“Y-Yes please…” Namjoon wheezed. This was the most exercise he’d had in years, his residence being only one floor.

“Ah!” Taehyung lead him only a few more feet until he was in front of a lovely black denim armchair. “Here, you can take a seat and see how you like this one.”

Namjoon looked up already loving the design of the chair. It would go well with his home décor for sure. “Sure… Just… Gimme a second.” He turned around carefully so that his huge ass faced the armchair, and tried to gracefully lower himself onto the seat.

Predictably, his leg muscles gave out and he slammed his ass onto the cushion.

The thing creaked ominously for a few seconds before quieting down.

Success!

Unfortunately, Namjoon and Taehyung realized at the same time, the chair was way too small for him.

Namjoon’s belly flab overflowed the armrests and his rear was securely wedged into the seat. It was going to take more than just Namjoon to get him off of the chair.

Face bright red, Namjoon coughed lightly to grab Taehyung’s attention. “Ugh, I think I’ll need some help. Uhm, standing back up again. I’m a little stuck.”

Now it was Taehyung’s turn to flush red. Oh god this was the best and worst thing to ever happen to him. This man was awakening things in him that he never knew existed while simultaneously dooming him to forever jerk off to these unfortunate moments. He was totally going to hell.

“Of course! I’ll help you, lemme just…” Taehyung hesitated before reaching out to grab Namjoon’s fat hands. God his fingers were like sausages. “”Here, on three you try to stand and I’ll pull.”

One

Two

Three!

Taehyung had to utilize every muscle in his body to even attempt to lift the behemoth of a man in front of him. Namjoon was just so, fucking, heavy.

Namjoon on the other hand had to rediscover muscles he was pretty sure withered away years ago in order to heave himself up off of the stuck chair.

It took them in total, four tries to get poor Namjoon out of the chair. Both men were ridiculously red in the face, Namjoon from the effort and embarrassment and Taehyung from effort and arousal.

“Maybe not this one then…” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Maybe we should look at the armchair loveseat hybrids we sell here. They’re certainly wider than this tiny thing.” That tiny thing was the widest armchair they had in stock…

Namjoon was too out of breath to say anything, so he just nodded gratefully. Sweat dripped down his back and pooled in his crack.

“Would, would you like some help?” Taehyung took a risk and offered his arm to Namjoon. God this was weird, he was being so weird.

Namjoon grabbed Taehyung’s arm without hesitation though. “Thank you.” He panted.

This was the most exercise he'd gotten in ages. All he wanted was a damn chair!

“Okay then, let me show you the hybrids.”

Taehyung lead a very sweaty Namjoon about five yards away to see the hybrid chairs. Every swaying step of the obese young man brushed the side of his overhang against Taehyung’s own side. The feel of soft subcutaneous fat was glorious against his own body… Namjoon’s large jiggly breasts were at mouth height for Taehyung. He could very easily just lean and place his lips over-

“Are these it?” Namjoon asked suddenly, breaking Taehyung out of his titty trance.

“Ah! Yes! Yes, these are it.” Taehyung yelped. He tore himself away from Namjoon in order to go rush over to a particular chair. “Why don’t you try this one? It’s not leather and it has two cup holders, just how you wanted.”

Namjoon waddled his way on over to the chair and yet again, practically fell onto it.

-CRACK!-

The love seat armchair hybrid’s legs snapped, causing the entire chair to sink down significantly. Namjoon yelped as he felt himself lower to the floor than he felt comfortable being. Given that he couldn't remember the last time he lifted himself from the ground solo.

“I am so sorry!” Taehyung gasped as he ran over to Namjoon grabbing his hands and attempting to yank him up. “I f-forgot that his particular chair has a lower weight limit than the others.” That was a lie, it was the average limit of 400 pounds. That must mean that Namjoon was solidly over-

“I-It’s fine.” Namjoon stammered, shocked by the sudden fall. “I just need, uhm, help getting back up.”

He tried rocking himself to his feet, which was how he stood up from all his surfaces, but failed to get off of the chair. With Taehyung’s help though they managed to get Namjoon to a squatting position on the floor and then with a great heave from Taehyung and a weak push from Namjoon, they got him standing again.

God, having all that fat all over his front felt like paradise to Taehyung. He thought this all very guiltily feeling like he was taking advantage of his client. Ugh, he was such a terrible person.

“Again, I am so sorry about that.” Taehyung bowed. “I-I have others with a higher weight limit. I-If you just, uhm, over here…”

Namjoon took a deep breath and tried to shrug off his embarrassment. Besides, judging by the tent in Taehyung’s pants he saw when on the ground, it didn’t seem like Taehyung was disgusted by him…

“What other chairs do you have?”

There was only one left, one that tested okay at a limit of 750 pounds. Taehyung helped Namjoon over to it. Hopefully he wasn’t over 750 pounds…

A small part of Taehyung delighted at the thought of Namjoon breaking this one too. Bad Taehyung! Bad!

Namjoon fell back onto the newest chair with a groan, he wasn’t used to carrying his weight around for longer than 5 minutes at a time… All this shopping was so much work!

-Creeeeeaaaaaak…-

They both held their breath, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did!

Namjoon relaxed into the well fitting, non-collapsed chair. It was cozy and had cup holders like the last. Perfect for fitting his sodas and shakes into.

Taehyung’s shoulders dropped and he sighed in relief. If this chair didn’t work out, he didn’t have back up…

“This one actually also has a charging port for your phone.” He piped up, watching Namjoon’s fat sway as he got comfortable.

“I love that.” Namjoon smiled at Taehyung. “I think I’ll take it.”

Taehyung groaned internally. Thank god.

Time seemed to swim by as Taehyung helped Namjoon back down the stairs, to the register and then out the door.

“Thank you again for coming, we hope that you found everything you needed while at Kim’s Furnishings!” Taehyung said. “H-Here’s my card in case you have any issues with the delivery or wanted to inquire about further furniture.”

“Sweet.” Namjoon sighed, glad that this whole thing was over with. Well, there was one good thing that came out of all of this. “I’ll call you when I outgrow this chair too.”

The fucker winked at Taehyung.

Caught.

“There’s my car.” Namjoon pointed over to a large accessibility vehicle. “My driver’s waiting. I’ll see you later.”

“Later…” Taehyung mumbled as he watched Namjoon waddle away, back fat jiggling, ass swaying.

End.

#pudgeprojects #bts feederism #oh boy #i did it lol #have fun #kinda sloppy work #but I did it fast lol

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