#I desparately need a pick me up I’m going through such a bad time right now

[mca-attack21]

The Beginning of Something

This imagine is based super loosely off of Season 5, Episode 8. It can be read as a stand alone, but will definitely be continued with at least five more parts as I rewrite the ending of the show. That being said, get ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that is Merlin. Also, you can find more of my writing: Here.

Tensions had been high with Arthur as he was struggling with a decision. He had come to find out that another ruler, Sarrum, had similar aims when it came to Morgana. As much as he hated it, he knew that there could never truly be peace in Camelot, or even in Albion for that matter until she was stopped. Sarrum was known for his boundless cruelty and double-crossing nature, but Arthur was becoming desperate and you know what they say about desparate times...

As Arthur was working through this troubling decision, he took it out on the one person unlucky enough to almost always be at his side. So when Gaius told Merlin that he needed him to go get some herbs and plants, Merlin was out the door glad for an excuse to escape the castle before he killed Arthur himself and ended his destiny once and for all. He understood that Arthur was under a lot of pressure, but he didn’t have to be such a clotpole about it.

Merlin was out looking for the last of Gaius’ herbs when a young dark-haired boy all but ran into him. 

“Woah, who are you? And what are you doing out here by yourself?”

“My name is Daegal. I have been sent by the druids to find you, my sister is dying,” the boy spoke showing Merlin his mark. 

“How did you know where to find me?” 

“I could sense your presence.”

“Where is your sister?” Merlin asked.

“She is at camp just shy of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Please, you have to hurry, she does not stand to survive past the night.”

“What exactly is wrong with her?”

“She has a terrible fever and it is something beyond our magic. Please, Merlin, you are our only hope.”

Merlin was conflicted as he knew that this was risky. He also knew that Arthur would need him by his side in order to get through the meeting with Sarrum the following day. But he couldn’t stand by and let an innocent girl die when there was a possibility that he could help. 

“We need to leave at once, I need to be back in Camelot by nightfall,” Merlin spoke. 

“Of course, thank you.”

“I can’t make any promises to save your sister, but I will do everything in my power. The druids have helped me before, they are a welcomed ally,” Merlin replied as he packed up his belongings.

The two of them walked on, spending the rest of the morning and the better part of the afternoon making their way to the place where Daegal said the druids were camped. It was as they neared the camp that Merlin heard bandits approaching and reached out to Daegal with his mind to warn him. The boy carried on as if he hadn’t heard Merlin and Merlin was forced to all but tackled him so that they were not found out.

“Did you not hear me?” Merlin asked.

“No?” Daegel replied looking at Merlin as if he were crazy, “Come on, it isn’t much further.”

Merlin brushed off an uneasy feeling that was staring to form and followed Daegel. They reached the clearing, and Merlin tossed his bag down before turning back. “There is no one here,” he stated the obvious.

Daegel opened his mouth as if to say something but could not find words. He was beginning to wonder what his choice in bringing Merlin here would mean.

“Why have you brought me here? What is this?” Merlin interrogated sternly.

“I can explain,” the boy said fearfully.

“You are not even a druid,” Merlin realized lifting up Daegel’s sleeve to confirm. 

“She told me to bring you here,” Daegel tried to explain. 

Before Merlin could confirm that the ‘she’ Daegel mentioned was indeed Morgana he was thrown back and knocked unconscious. 

“Why are you doing this?” Daegel asked. 

“Because, Merlin has meddled in my plans one too many times. I only wish I could see his face as Arthur meets his demise at my hand,” Morgana revealed as she poured a dark liquid down his throat and pushed him over the ledge. 

“Are you really going to kill the king?” 

“Bite your tongue. You have done your part here and you would be wise to forget it. Here is the antidote your sister requires, now get lost.”

And with that Morgana left to set the rest of her plan in action. Daegel took one last look at Merlin before leaving to return to his family. 

Back in Camelot:

“Gaius, you said Merlin would be back by lunch and now it is past dinner. Where is he?” Arthur asked clearly frustrated.

“I truly do not know Sire, but I am beginning to become worried.”

“Where did you send him?” 

“I sent him out just beyond the creek. It should have taken him 4 hours at the most there and back,” Gaius explained worry evident on his face.

Picking up on this, Arthur’s expression softened, “I am sure that he is fine Gaius, probably just taking advantage of the break from me. If he does not turn up tomorrow I will send out a search party for him.” 

“I hope you’re right,” Gaius said as Arthur took his leave. 

Meanwhile with Merlin:

The first time he regained consciousness, Merlin struggled to breathe through the pain he was in. He attempted to use his magic to try to heal himself, but he was too weak. The exertion proved too much for him and everything around him faded to nothing.

The next time he awoke, he was both disoriented and confused. He had clearly been found by someone as a cool rag now rested on his brow and his wounds had been treated. He had been laid near a fire, food and water were both in his reach.

He peered around for any indication of who had helped him, and realized that he recognized where he was. He had been brought back towards Camelot. Before he could deduce anything else he heard someone approaching. He forced himself to sit up, which was a task in itself. He then try to mentally prepare for whatever was coming.

But instead of bandits, Morgana’s men, dangerous creatures, or anything else that could be considered threatening, it was just you. Merlin was surprised to say the least. Not that he had really thought about it, but the idea of someone who appeared around his age who had helped him... as he looked at you, he felt safe and connected to you in some way. It was as if he had known you his entire life, and he didn’t even know your name.

“Ah, take it easy, I mean you no harm. I come baring fish,” you smiled at him.

“Are you the one who did all of this?” he asked gesturing to his bandages and the water/food.

“I am, usually you would’ve been healed by now, but the poison that Morgana used in combination with her magic was a force to be reckoned with.”

“Who are you?”

“A friend. Some know me by Phúlax, but you can call me Y/n,” you said before turning away to use your magic to cook the fish and offering it to him. 

“You have magic?” Merlin asked in awe.

“Yes, I was born with it,” you answered offering him one of the fish, “You need to eat, and then rest, you have been unconscious for over a day and we are still about an hour from the castle. Morgana and the queen intend to kill the King tomorrow and bring a great war to Camelot.”

“How do you know that?” Merlin asked.

“I know a lot of things Merlin. I promise I will answer all of your questions in time, but for now I just need you to trust me,” you answered.

“I guess I don’t really have a choice,” he joked.

“You do, Merlin, you always have a choice,” you spoke voice turned serious for a moment before you snapped out of it, “I am sorry, I am just tired, you aren’t the easiest person to keep alive,” you replied light-heartedly.

“If you think I’m bad you should try being the manservant of the king,” Merlin joked which caused you to laugh.

“Is he really that bad?”

“He can be a prat at times,” Merlin paused, “But at the end of the day, he is one of the best men I have ever met. He is fiercely loyal, believes in equality and justice, valor and honor. Camelot is lucky to have him. And it is an honor to serve him,” Merlin reflects.

“He is lucky to have such a loyal friend,” you add before taking his plate from him, “Get some rest.”

“Y/n,” he called as you began to walk away.

“Yes, Merlin?”

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome,” you smiled, turning your back once again. 

You cleared away everything and packed up your bags before walking over and covering Merlin with a blanket. You layed across from him and just watched as he slept peacefully. He had been so close to death, and to see him now you wouldn’t even know it. You were glad that he was alright. Eventually, you too drifted off to sleep.

Back in Camelot:

“I’m sorry to bother you Sire, but I wanted to inform you that Merlin has still not returned. I fear something terrible may have happened,” Gaius spoke after having been let in to Arthur’s chambers.

“I will send out a search party,” Arthur spoke growing concerned about his friend.

“What is this?” Gwen asked walking over.

“Merlin still has not returned, so I am sending some of the knights out to search for him,” Arthur explained.

“Oh dear, I knew I should’ve said something. Arthur I feel terrible, but he made me promise not to tell anyone. I know where Merlin is,” she returned.

“Where?” Gaius asked.

“He has gone to visit someone. He isn’t in any danger. He’s just seeing a girl,” Gwen explained.

“Merlin?” Arthur laughed in suprise.

“There isn’t any reason to worry, I promise,” Gwen smiled.

“Except for the poor girl,” Arthur joked.

“Thank you your highness, you’ve put a worried mind at rest,” Gaius bowed before exiting the chambers.

“Now then, it is time to begin preparing for the signing ceremony,” Arthur said relieved.

Meanwhile with Merlin:

“Merlin,” you spoke softly as you shook him slightly.

“Hmmm?”

“It is time to get up, we must head for Camelot,” you reminded. 

He groaned before sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Here, have some breakfast. I’m going to refill the water canisters and then we can be on our way,” you smiled handing him an apple and some bread. 

When you returned you were pleasantly surprised to see that Merlin was packed and on his feet ready to go. The two of you started on the path in a comfortable silence before Merlin’s curiosity got the better of him. 

“Tell me about yourself,” he suggested.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

“Everything. I mean where are you from? Why are you here? How did you discover you had magic?” 

“Slow down Merlin,” you laugh, “I was born in camelot. When I was very young my mother was discovered healing a child who was meant to die. The king found out and…” your sentance fell as you thought back. 

“I’m so sorry,” Merlin said genuinely.

You took a deep breath and continued, “My father quickly snuck me out and to a small village just outside of Camelot. We lived there, I was able to practice magic in secret. Everything was going fine until Morgana showed up searching for me. I had never even heard of her, but there she was calling me by a name that a friend of mine who was a Druid used,” you paused again.

“I was going to turn myself over to her in hopes that she would spare the others, but before I could I was knocked unconscious. I woke up in the woods with the survivors and discovered that my father had not made it. I left them partially in hopes that Morgana would not strike again, and partially in shame that I did not stand up for them. I decided to head back to the only other home I have known, where I will search for a job and try to create some semblance of a life. On my way, I discovered you,” you explained a few tears betraying you.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Merlin spoke with certainty, “Morgana would’ve tortured you or killed you.”

“Still, I should’ve done something. When you have powers like ours, it is our responsibility to help those who can’t help themselves.”

“How did you know that I had magic?” Merlin asked.

“I can sense it, it flows through every fiber of your being. You have this resonance of power. It’s like we are connected.”

“I have never met anyone like you,” Merlin said as he smiled in amazement. 

“You barely even know me,” you reply turning away from his face.

“I know that you are kind, and brave, and good,” he thinks for a moment before adding, “and beautiful.”

You can’t help but blush, “Thank you, Merlin.”

“What about you, is there anything that you want to know about me?” he asked.

The two of you continued to talk until you reached the courtyard. There were moments filled with laughter and moments of true sincerity. It was like you were old friends merely catching up. Like both of you were drawn together somehow.

As you entered the castle, you were both on high alert not knowing exactly what to expect. Merlin searched for Arthur before discovering that a door that was meant to be locked was left open. Having a gut feeling, he lead you up the staircase. There was a man with a crossbow who aimed for Arthur. He immediately noticed you and shot at Merlin who was slow to react. You shifted the arrow using magic. The man seemingly unphased threw knives at you instead. You tried to use your magic but it was to no avail. 

You barely managed to pull Merlin out of the way in time. Taking advantage of your brief distracted state, the man reloaded the crossbow and aimed for Arthur once again. Merlin used his magic to jar the man and knock him out. The shot meant for Arthur instead hit Sarrum.

“Leon, Gwaine,” Arthur ordered them to check out the source of the arrow. 

“We did it,” Merlin turned to you smiling. But as quickly as it had graced his face, the smile fell. For you were still on the ground with one of the knives in your stomach. “Y/n, just hold on, I can fix this.”

“It is one of Morgana’s, no magic can be used against it.”

“Well then, we will just have to fix it the old fashioned way,”  he smirked before leaving over the balcony. 

“Gaius, I need you to meet me in the infirmary at once it’s urgent,” he yelled.

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned quick to follow Gaius out of the door.

Merlin then picked you up bridal style and carried you back to Gaius’ chambers. 

“I’m glad I met you,” you whispered already feeling much of the strength leaving your body.

“Well, there is a lot more to see, so just hold on,” Merlin said.

Merlin ran into Gwaine and Leon at the bottom of the stairs but he didn’t stop even as they were calling after him. Once inside, he swiftly used his magic to clear off the table and laid you on it. Just then Gaius and Arthur came rushing in. 

“What happened?” “Who is that?” Gaius and Arthur asked at the same time.

“Her name is Y/n and you have to help her Gaius,” Merlin said voice full of emotion.

“Of course,” the physician said starting immediately to work. 

“Is there anything that I can do?” Merlin asked. Gaius gave him a list of instructions and he completed each one quickly and without question. Arthur just stood and watched not knowing how to react. It wasn’t long before they had done everything that they could and it was just a matter of time. 

Upon reaching this point, Arthur calmly asked for an explanation of what had happened.

“I went out to get herbs and before I could do anything else, I was trapped by Morgana. She had left me for dead, but then Y/n found me. She took care of me and brought me back here. I knew that Morgana was planning something, so we rushed here and found the overlook door open. We went up and found a man who was aiming a crossbow at you. He threw a knife at me and she pushed me out of the way. I was then able to charge him, but the shot still went off,” Merlin explained. 

“So it seems that she has saved your life twice and now mine, when she wakes she will be rewarded,” Arthur responded impressed, “I must get back to the proceedings, please move her into the guest chambers and keep me appraised of her condition. Merlin, I trust that you will stay with her and see to her needs,” Arthur said sending him a knowing look.

“Of course Arthur,” Merlin replied. 

“Oh, and Merlin,” Arthur started.

“Yes, Arthur?” 

“I am truly glad that you are back in one piece,” he finished, pulling the door closed behind him.

“As am I,” Gaius added pulling the young warlock into a hug. 

As they pulled away, Merlin was quick to carry you up into one of the fancy guest bedrooms. He laid you down and covered you with the blankets. Guias entered behind him.

“Did anything else happen while you were gone that you couldn’t speak so freely about in front of Arthur?”

Merlin glanced into the hallway before using his magic to close the door earning a glare from Gaius. 

“She’s like me, she was born with magic,” he eyes lite up. 

“Really?” Gaius asked.

“Yeah, the druids call her Phúlax. I can’t explain it Gaius, but I have never felt this connected to someone before. 

“She is Phúlax?” Gauis asked with reverence. 

“Yes, why? Does that name mean something to you?” 

“You know how your destiny has been foretold for many generations?” Gaius asked and Merlin nodded.

“Phúlax means protector. Though she is known by many names. Some that may stand out to you are, the Servant’s Guardian, Arthur’s Chance, Protector of Emrys, or Rewriter of Destiny. It is believed that she would arrive at the beginning of the end, and that she would be at your side to turn the end into the beginning,”  Gaius explained. 

“What does that mean? And why have I never heard of her?” 

“No one truly knows what the prophecy means. Just that she is an important ally in your story. And I would assume that those who know of her are protective of her identity for the same reason they are protective of yours. Because if Morgana found her, Albion would fall.” 

Merlin had more questions, the most important one being, “So she is going to be okay?”

“Her wound was not fatal, due to the nature of the weapon, she simply has to heal at a normal rate. That being said, she should wake up by morning,” Gaius answered before getting up to leave the room. 

Gwaine entered as he exited, “Merlin, it’s good to see you. I’ve been searching the taverns for you in your absence,” he winked.

“Good to see you too, Gwaine,” he laughed.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing after earlier,” Gwaine said taking a seat beside his friend.

“Well, in the past three days I have almost been killed twice, so you know just another day in Camelot,” Merlin tried to joke.

“Are you alright?” Gwaine asked seriously. 

“I will be fine,” Merlin promised. 

“And who is this beautiful lady?” Gwaine asked trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m afraid she is off-limits,” Arthur spoke from the doorway carrying a plate of food. 

“What? Why?” Gwaine asked.

“Because Merlin here has dibs,” Arthur grinned. 

“I...We….She is…..I mean…” Merlin struggled.

“Oh, look at him he is getting red as a tomato,” Arthur said bursting into laughter.

“Our little Merlin has a crush,” Gwaine grinned, “If you need any advice,” he winked at Merlin before getting up and seeing himself out. 

Arthur took his place at Merlin’s side. 

“Did you really have to do that? I’m not going to hear the end of this,” Merlin rolled his eyes at Arthur. 

“Consider it payback for all of the times you teased me about Guinevere. Besides, I think that it’s a good thing,” he decided.

“I brought you this, along with some news,” Arthur said handing Merlin the plate of food. 

“What’s the news?” 

“Should she want it, I have decided to offer Y/n a position as Guinevere’s lady in waiting. I figure that she has shown her loyalty and you clearly trust her. I trust your judgment. And, this will give you an excuse to see her in the castle,” Arthur explained.

“Really? That’s incredible. I can’t wait to tell her. And to introduce the two of you.” 

“Just remember this when it comes time to chose a best man,” Arthur joked. The two of them continued to talk for a while before Arthur decided it was best that he return to the knights as they were preparing for a trip. 

Merlin was trying to work through what Gaius had said, and how he felt. It was silly to think that he could love someone that he had only just met. But there was no other word for it. The thought of working with you, getting to know you better, spending time with you, it was all exciting for Merlin. Especially having another person that he could talk about magic with, someone who truly understood him. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even register the fact that you were awake.

“Merlin?” you tried to sit up, but the pain that rippled through you decided otherwise.

“Hey there, take it easy. It’s okay, you’re safe,” he smiled taking your hand without even thinking, “Do you need anything? Water? Food? I can go get Gaius if you’d like?”

“I’ll be fine Merlin, I’m glad you and Arthur are safe,” you smiled.

“Speaking of Arthur, I’ve got some news for you,” he beamed, “The King was so thankful that you saved his life that he has decided to give you the highest honor he can bestow.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

“He has graciously decided to make you his wife’s servant,” Merlin replied rolling his eyes. 

“That’s brilliant! It solves my problem of finding a place to stay and finding a job in one fell swoop,” you smile. 

“There is one problem though,” Merlin said seriously.

“What is it?”

“We will definitely be seeing a lot of each other,” he grinned.

“You had me worried,” you said as you smacked his arm.

“I am going to go tell Gaius and Arthur that you are awake,” he decided. 

You watched as he left, you felt so relieved that things were falling into place. You were happy to meet Gaius and the King, who made not-so-subtle jokes about Merlin’s affections for you. Merlin looked like he was about to kill him, which made you laugh all the more. You already felt at home here. You couldn’t wait to see what the future held for you in Camelot. This was truly the beginning of something special. 

[unstoppableforcce]

the fight — part two

pairing: Poe Dameron x CMO! reader

part one | next part | masterlist

a/n: WARNING— a pretty graphic piece, medical kind of graphic and well, emotionally tolling so just be aware! I never mean to make my writing this angsty, I know you don’t believe me but this is just what happens

(and a secondary warning that I’m not a doctor, I don’t play one on tv, space medicine isn’t real and I’m kinda making it up as I go but buddy transfusions are a real thing)

“Where is the kriffing chief medical officer!”

Not that screaming in your med bay was something you typically allowed, but it wasn’t uncommon. This however, was not the normal kind of screaming. This was what sounded like a grown man on the verge of tears shouting louder than his throat could even manage and it send a surge of fear through you that you couldn’t come close to properly quantifying.

It was Finn, tears streaming down his dust and blood covered face. And as if that hadn’t already struck a tone of overwhelming anxiety through your entire form, leaping you up and out of your seat at the nurses station, the trailing team of equally as distressed and damaged soldiers behind him only made it worse. You legs could not physically carry you to the entrance of the med bay fast enough for your heart which leapt out of your chest the second you heard the cries.

You barely made it two steps from the station before a man collapsed behind Finn, and it only took two more steps before you realized that it was your second-in-command.

Ripping a package of bandages open, you got to Finn first, trying to stabilize him as he continued to stumble in just as the rest of the team behind him did, but he fought your grip the second you laid it on him.

“No!” He screamed, pushing you off of him, “you have to help him—“

Glancing to your staff already tending to your second, you shook your head and tried to get Finn to stop moving, “it’s okay, they have him—“

“No!” He shouted again, “it’s Poe.”

Saying your heart dropped wasn’t close to a good descriptor of the sudden spectrum of emotions you were feeling. Numb wasn’t close either, the opposite actually, you were feeling everything at once. But more than the shock and horror that sent your heartbeat skyrocketing through the meager med bay, you were struck by a wave of desparity as you found yourself clinging to Finn’s jacket, which had previously been Poe’s jacket, trying to keep yourself stable instead of the other way around.

It was a desparity for information, a starved hunger bursting from your chest as your bitten down nails managed to claw into the worn leather around his arms.

“What’s Poe, where is he—“

“They can’t move him and the comms aren’t working—“ Finn fought through his tears, sniffling out a mess of dust lodged in his sinuses, his tears fighting with the blood that cascaded down the ridges of his face from the gash above his brow.

“Where is he, what happened—“

“In the hanger, none of the comms are working, we tried to—“

Your hand reached for the collar of the nearest medical staff you could grab, practically shoving them into Finn to help as you tripped over the calamity in your doorway to grab the nearest kit of supplies and take off in your fastest sprint for the nearby hanger. Everyone in the halls moved fast, trying to deal with whatever the hell had just happened in their own departments, but none of them moving as fast as you, and all of them clearing out of the way as they saw you barreling towards them.

At some point in your sprint, you heard a chorus of beeps going off, one from your communicator strapped to your belt and about another hundred from everyone else flooding the halls. Clearly whatever communication problem there had been was solved, but you didn’t pay it a single thought as you continued on, still not able to move as fast as you pleaded at your legs to take you.

By the time you stumbled into the hanger, you heard shouting from the wreck of a transport carrier on the far side of the floor, shouts which quickly turned to pleads for medical help as you got closer to hear them clearer. And by the time Snap saw you, his voice was screaming with the same desperate vulnerability that Finn’s voice had been laced with, throat clenched by fear, anger and a plethora of other emotions as he screamed, “medic!” at the top of his lungs from the ramp of the ship.

“Move!” You shouted as you reached the edge of the crowd and move they did, everyone practically throwing themselves out of the way as they noticed you, but still not fast enough.

And no matter how long the run over had taken you, you still hadn’t thought about what you would find once you got there. No amount of fear in Finn’s tone or gnawing anguish in Snap’s could have prepared you for when you finally came to a slow pace on the ramp, completely out of breath, and found Poe propped up against the inside cabin wall, blood pouring from his lips and an obvious wound on his stomach, futilely covered with fabric but no pressure being applied.

The range of emotions were back, and every single one of them fought with the other, trying to work their way to the forefront of your mind as you tried to process what you were seeing. None of them won though, it was a viscous and bloody battle in your head but something else pushed them all aside, your screaming heart that forced you onto your knees at his side and kept your tears at bay long enough to start applying pressure to the wound.

“Snap!” You shouted, not even realizing your voice was laced with exactly what theirs was when they shouted, pure and unadulterated fear, “Snap, I need your hands!”

He was by your side as soon as you called and you quickly ripped the useless fabric away and replaced it with medical gauze, then replaced your hands with his own.

“Push harder, as hard as you can.” You ordered with a shaking breath and perfectly steady hands.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Your fingers trailed over the rest of his body, his legs first than his chest, searching for other outward bleeder but found none, moving to find the faintest of pulses at his neck instead. “Somebody get a body board from medical, now!”

There was no time to check if someone was actually moving to do it, there was no time to care about anyone else but the man in front of you and the weak heartbeat he was giving you. Moving for the kit, you raided the section with medication, scanning over every label for what felt like hours before you found the right one and a needle to measure some out with. It wasn’t going to be a cure all but for now, it should give him a bit of life back, enough to get him to medical for some real treatment.

He stirred at the feeling of the needle entering his arm, the first bit of life you had actually seen from him since you got there, but it was far from comforting as his pulse still refused to pick back up.

“Poe, come on, Poe, I need you to wake up.” You hit the wall behind his head, trying to rack your brain for something of an idea but got nothing from the recesses of your memory, instead turning back to the door and shouting again, “I need the body board now!”

“Is he—“

“Don’t, Snap, just keep the pressure.” You were doing a lot of shouting but if anyone around had a problem with it, you certainly didn’t care and you knew Snap definitely didn’t. He just pressed his hands down harder, earning a low groan from Poe’s blood coated lips.

You kept your fingers on his pulse, feeling a slight uptick in power but nothing that relaxed you any and looking back to the crowd just outside the ship, you didn’t have very high hopes of getting a body board in the next thirty seconds. So you reached your hands underneath him as best you could, trying to find another source of damage. The wound on his stomach was bad but the bleeding was being stopped the best it could and the medicine should’ve helped with that, there had to be another injury, he had to be bleeding from somewhere else.

“Oh Stars.” You cursed as you found a damp patch of uniform coating the back side of his thigh, your gloved hand returning completely stained with blood.

“I didn’t even see that—“

You didn’t have time to comfort Snap, your hands moving too fast for the belt on your uniform, ripping it out of the loops and quickly wrapping it around his upper thigh. He was losing too much blood and he was losing it too fast for a bacta patch to clear things up immediately.

Returning to the kit at your side, you pulled out the longest tube you could find, almost ancient technology now that bacta tanks were so easy to find, and started a line from the bag your pulled out.

“Whoa, hey, doc—“ Snap saw you moving but his hands stayed tight to Poe so even he couldn’t stop you before you threw your coat off, rolled up your sleeve, tied a tight band around your upper arm, and plunged the needle into your own skin. “What the kriff are you—“

“We have the same blood type.” You ripped a piece of tap off the spool, now working with only one hand and your teeth to do it, taping the needle in your arm down before moving for another tube, connecting the bag to Poe. Liquid crimson flowing straight from you to the bag in the middle to Poe’s arm.

“Can you even—“

“Yes, I’ve done it before.”

There was no time for the memories of the Bracca scrapper you barely saved from a dangerous fall, there was only time for Poe your mind decided, pushing the violent memory back down with all the rest of the emotions you were suppressing to keep him alive. You could deal with it later, right now you needed a body—

“Body board coming in!” Someone shouted from behind you, and you considered a sigh of relief but couldn’t even manage that much, not until you and Snap had him loaded on the board, the doctor who came with it forcing you to sit in the end by his feet to keep the two of you connected.

He kept talking, the doctor who wheeled you and Poe back to medical, but you either couldn’t hear him or weren’t listening, your hand still desperately pressed to the side of his neck in search of a pulse, one you found that was growing slightly stronger every second that passed.

“Doctor!” He finally shouted as Snap helped him around a corner in the hall, “I need to know that you can hear me—“

“I can hear you.”

“Are you out of your mind, a transfusion like that could kill you—“

You went back to ignoring him, the doors of the medical bay finally coming up, prompting you to jump off the bed as they slowed to a stop. A nurse pointed you in the right direction and you helped the other doctor continue to move the bed into the trauma bay before two other doctors stepped up to take Poe from you.

“We have to get you disconnected—“ he argued, holding you in place as you moved to help move Poe onto the bed, you fought him as best you could, but as they hooked Poe up to the machines and bacta infusion rigs, you realized there was nothing else you could do. “Please, let me—“

But you still fought anyways, “I need to—“

“I’m taking this out.” He was talking to you like you were some lost child, you weren’t some lost child. Your blood covered gloves reached up to shove him away from you, they needed to be focusing on Poe...

His hands kept you steady as you began to sway, either the emotional tsunami you suppressed to do you work was catching up to you or your own donated blood loss was, either way, you grew weaker in your futile attempts to protest and he eventually got you disconnected from Poe.

“He needs—“

“They’ve got him, you did all that you could, now let surgery do their job—“ he pleaded, bandaging your arm that was already beginning to bruise from your crude field IV start.

“I need to—“

“You’ve got to calm down,” he tried to soothe but comfort was the last thing you needed right now.

You needed to hit a wall, you needed to scream or tear your hair out and you couldn’t do any of it, frozen in place and feeling nothing at all. Nothing but a need to do something, anything...

His fingers were on your pulse now, like you were the one who had gotten blown up or shot or whatever had happened to Poe, you hadn’t even considered asking, so focused on keeping him alive that you lost all matter of perception...

He had been lead on the mission, the whole crew had come in tattered and destroyed, Finn was hurt, your second had collapsed and that should have been you...

“Oh stars, the others—“ he couldn’t even keep your weakened form at bay as you pressed past him, slightly light headed but fighting through it even against your better judgment or the calls from him behind you, begging you to stop.

The entire medical bay was in disarray, patients being treated in the entrance and trauma stations, every nurse and doctor with their hands full and you were selfish enough to practically take yourself out of commission... you were supposed to be on the mission. You had begged and pleaded and argued until your throat hurt about how stupid an idea it was to risk everything and now your hands were covered with blood and Poe was in surgery and you had blown him off when he came to say goodbye...

You had been in surgery, it hadn’t even been five hours since then...

You blew him off when he came to say goodbye because you were mad about the mission. And you had been right. You had been right and now the already dwindled forces of the resistance were beaten beyond recognition as the powerful unit they used to be, the doctors overwhelmed, and hope basically banished from your heart the second you saw the man you loved bleeding out in your hands.

“I’m sorry about this.” He had said as you peeked your head out of the surgical center, “I don’t like you being mad at me—“

“I think I’m right, you think you’re right, I don’t know what to tell you...” you had shrugged. Neither of you were going to apologize, your respected your own opinions too much to do it or expect the other to, it was a standstill and neither of you were going to cave and you both knew it.

You lost, you were mad and he knew it and wasn’t going to apologize.

It was a standstill, a cold and heartbreaking standstill that the two of you were too stubborn to let yourselves out of.

“Listen I...” he didn’t even have a way to finish the sentence, and if you were being honest, you didn’t want him to anyways. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and sighed against them, refusing to pull away. “I love you.”

“I know.” You sighed back, pulling away from his lips. “I’ve got to get back in here.”

“Yeah...”

That was the last thing you said to him... you didn’t even say you loved him back, it was pathetic. There was nothing mature about the fight, you lost the debate, the decision was made and you should’ve gotten over it and you should’ve told him you loved him too.

You ripped the gloves off your hand, tossing them aside and tried to search the crowd for Finn’s instead you found Leia making a beeline to you.

“Did I hear you did a person to person transfusion by yourself? Are you out of your mind? What were you thinking, you could’ve killed yourself—“

All of her anger was well placed, she made perfect sense, she always did. You almost wanted her to slap you, you deserved it at this point. This was all your fault. You could hear screaming and shouting and your medical bay was about to turn into a graveyard and you couldn’t do anything about it—

“Doctor?” Her voice softened, her hands reaching out for your elbows, stopping you from a sway you didn’t even realize you were doing as tears fought their way down your face. “Are you—“

This was all your fault. You should have never let them go, you knew better and this was all your fault...

“I need help!”

They all needed help, all of your staff was scrambling and it was you who put them in this position. You were responsible for every single one of them and you were the one causing problems now, not even the First Order, this was all your—

“Please—“ was Leia pleading to you now? She was supposed to be mad, to be furious with you—

Your feet went out for under you and you collapsed to the floor, Leia’s grip nowhere near enough to keep you upright as the weight of everything you suppressed upon seeing Finn’s desperation came crashing down all at once.

There was more shouting, you couldn’t hear any of it.

[staytiny-yaps]

hey! saw you were new-ish n wanted to request something! could you do Sirius with a badass reader? who absolutely does not put up with his shit? like plays quidditch and is notoriously the bad girl! if they get together or not is your choice, i just love me some pining boys

A/n: I most definitely can! Sorry this took so long hun xx Hope you enjoy and again, all feedback and/or constructive criticism is welcome, but please be polite 🧡

Servant-hood

The first round of quidditch tryouts in their fifth year was coming up and Y/n and James were to choose the new members.

While James was excited about this job, Y/n L/n was wracked with nerves; what if she didn't pick right and let the team down?

Nevertheless, they were nerves that she wouldn't let show.

She was a badass, she couldn't let weakness show, but keeping all her nerves bottled up was making her a lot shorter with people than she usually was.

Especially a certain Marauder that tended to put her on edge even when she wasn't filled with anxiety.

Y/n finished pulling on her boots and shrugged on her robes, heading down for breakfast with her friends.

"You just need something to take the edge of Y/n!" Axel told her as they entered the great hall.

"Don't tell me what I need Lucas." She snapped and he shook his head.

"Don't call me by my last name." He quipped back and Lola laughed.

"Besides, there's not much that helps that I could use three days before quidditch tryouts. I need my head about me." Y/n reasoned as the three of them took a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Oh no Y/n, I can get us some Firewhisky for tonight. It'll help you relax for now and you'll be perfectly fine on Saturday." Lola told us and Y/n opened her mouth to agree when a voice came from behind them.

"I don't understand how you lot even got into Gryffindor. Listen to yourselves." A shrill voice rang out.

The trio turned around and glared at an auburn haired Marlene McKinnon.

"I don't remember asking McKinnon. Now move along before one of us kicks your arse again." Y/n growled.

"Yeah, because any of you could beat Marlene." Dorcas came to her defence and Axel rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh.

"Do you need a little reminder of what happened last time?" He threatened and Y/n and Lola gave innocent smiles.

"Whatever, don't mess the team up for Gryffindor, L/n." Marlene rolled her eyes, but walked off a little sheepishly.

"That was oddly gentlemanly of you, Axel," Y/n rested a hand on his forehead as they turned back to their food, "you feeling okay?"

He grabbed her wrist and pushed her hand away.

"Shut up." He muttered, a blush tinting his cheeks.

Lola gave him a knowing look and he only shook his head.

"Ello Y/n." An obnoxious, deep voice sounded.

"Dear Merlin, it is impossible to have a peaceful breakfast around here." Y/n complained and pointedly ignored the call.

"C'mon Y/n, don't be like that. I'm beautiful, you're beautiful, it just works." Sirius Black wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind as he spoke.

"Get your arms off me, Black, before I break them." She spoke stiffly through gritted teeth.

He retracted his arms so fast, you might think he was genuinely afraid of her pulling her wand on him.

"Let's not be hasty here. I only came to ask a favour." Sirius held his hands up in surrender.

"What makes you think we'd ever do you a favour Black?" Axel spat, venomously, shifting an inch or two closer to Y/n.

"No no, you've got it all wrong. I only want a favour from our dear N/n here." He patted her head and she slapped his hand away.

"Don't call me that. What do you want?" She hissed and he chuckled nervously.

"The quidditch trials are soon. I really want to get on the team. Please, please teach me?" He asked and Y/n shook her head.

"No way. Get your buddy Potter to do it."

"He's busy and I only have three days!" Sirius protested desparately.

"I'm busy!" She argued and he stared skeptically.

"With what?" He questioned.

"With a life." And with that she turned around and went back to her food.

Sirius turned on his heel and walked away defeatedly.

"How'd it go?" Remus asked as he joined Sirius on the walk out of the Great Hall.

"She's never gonna notice me Moony! It's hopeless." He rubbed his hand over his face as he spoke.

"It's not hopeless." Remus started only to be cut off.

"It is! She has no interest in me! All she cares about is those stupid friends of hers. What do I do Moony?" He stopped walking and shook his friends shoulders.

"Well let's start with not breaking my neck," Remus began, pushing Sirius' arms away, "and there's clearly only one option."

"There is?" Remus shrugged and nodded.

"Beg."

🔸️

Later the same day, Y/n sat by Axel in Transfiguration.

She was leant back in her seat with her feet on the table and her hands behind her head, Axel doing the same, but instead of supporting his head, he was doing his work.

Something hit the back of her head and she turned to see a balled up piece of parchment on the floor by her chair.

Looking around she saw Black pointing and gesturing to open the note.

She rolled her eyes and turned back to the front, only for another piece of parchment to hit her moments later.

She whipped her head around and brought her feet to the floor with a glare only to see Sirius with his hands clasped together, frantically mouthing 'Please!'

She reached down with an exasperated sigh and grabbed the ball.

She uncrumpled the note and read over it.

'Please L/n, I'll do anything. Name your price.'

She gave a smirk to Axel and scribbled something down on the parchment before balling it back up and throwing it back.

"Miss L/n, Mister Black, something you'd like to share with the class?" Professor McGonagall snapped.

"No, no not really." Y/n said simply, putting her feet back on the desk.

"L/n and Lucas would you please get your feet off my desks." Though as she spoke, she knew her mistake.

This was Y/n and Axel.

"No can do Prof." They declared in sync before snickering a little.

McGonagall opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again, knowing her attempts were going to be futile.

The class was nearly finished anyway.

As they walked out of the classroom Sirius yelled Y/n's name through the crowd.

"You go ahead Ax, I'll catch up with you later." She pushed him forward with her arm and turned to face Sirius.

She smiled in a fake-sweet manner, "Yes?"

"Your price! Servant life?" He exclaimed, demanding explanation, flailing his arms about dramatically.

"Yes. You do what I say for the rest of today and tomorrow, and I'll train you up on Friday in time for the tryouts on Saturday." She walked at a fast pace as she talked, not even looking at him.

"Really?" While it sounded awful in theory, it would give him an excuse to hang around the girl he's been harbouring a crush on for the past two years.

"Everything I say."

"You aren't gonna ask me to kill someone are you?" He joked and she glared at him.

"Come find me at lunch Black. Have some salad on my plate for me, and some pumpkin juice." She began to walk away and he grabbed her elbow.

"Is that all?" He asked when she faced him.

"Now that you mention it, I have Lola's spare skirt in my bag," she reached in her bag and passed it to him, "be wearing that, with no robe on top or tights underneath."

He gaped at her as she began to walk off again.

"We have the next class together!" He called out and she laughed.

"I won't be there, Servant."

🔸️

Y/n sat with her friends on the couches in the Gryffindor common room.

"Lola, I thought you said you'd get us Firewhisky?" Axel pointed out from his place at Y/n's side.

"Oh shit, I forgot." Lola brings her palm up to her head and flops onto the floor.

"Don't worry guys. All in good time." Y/n chimed in and they looked at her suspiciously.

Only moments later Sirius stalks through the Gryffindor common room holding a bottle that's had all the labeks ripped off.

He hands it to Y/n and she gives him a dismissive nod.

"One more order for tonight, Servant. Go up to Axel's dorm, make his bed and then bring down two of his hoodies." She pointed up the stairs to the boys dorms and he groaned.

🔸️

The next day Axel busts into the Marauders' dorm with an evil grin, at the crack of dawn.

"Sirius Black! Y/n's waiting downstairs and she demands your presence immeadiately!" He yells, spurring the boys to wake.

"Lucas, breakfast only just started!" Sirius protested and Axel only shrugged.

"Guess no quidditch training for you."

"Okay, okay!" Sirius leaps out of bed, wearing only sweatpants and sprints his way down the stairs.

Y/n was curled up in Axel's hoodie and a fluffy blanket that she must've brought from home.

For the school's bad-girl, she looked strangely sweet and innocent, half asleep in a fluffy blanket.

Sirius heart swelled and he felt a blush creep up his neck, seeing her so vulnerable.

"Go get me and my friends breakfast from the hall and bring it up here Black. Breakfast in front of the fire for us!" She ordered and he blinked.

Her strong, sharp voice was so at odds with the way she was laying on the couch, firelight sparkling in her eyes.

"And, since you couldn't be bothered putting a shirt on before you came down here, you can't put a shirt on when you go down there." She added and he pasted on a smirk.

"Like what you see L/n?"

"Don't test me Sirius Black or I'll break all your fingers with my eyes closed." She spat and Sirius turned away so she wouldn't see his frown.

"Right, well, I'll go and... get that for you."

🔸️

Friday afternoon, after classes, Y/n headed into the common room in search of Black to get to his training session.

She walked in and found him talking to Lupin on the other side of the room.

She began to shout his name, then silenced herself when she caught wind of his conversation.

"Moony I agreed because I thought it'd give me a reason to stick around with her, but she keeps sending me away on missions. If I didn't fancy her so much I would not be going through so much just to get a training session." Y/n gaped.

He fancied her?

She's never heard of anyone fancying her, except Axel, who is so painfully obvious about his feelings.

Sirius Black got on her nerves, he was annoying and loud and only thought he was funny.

So why did her heart flutter at the thought of his feelings?

"You fancy me, Black? That's the revelation of the century." Both boys jumped and faced her.

"Y/n I-"

"Come on Black, it's time for your training session." She cut him off with a small, but genuine smile for once.

His heart beat into his throat and his face felt like it was on fire.

They began to walk down to the pitch side by side and when the silence was almost unbearable, Y/n spoke up.

"So, you know the rules of quidditch right? You just want to get better?"

"Y-yeah. What... what were you thinking?" He curses himself for stuttering and Y/n smirks.

"I was gonna start with staying on a broom. Then catching and throwing a ball, then maybe hitting one with a bat. We don't need a new keeper or seeker, so we'll focusing on the chaser and beater positions." Y/n laid out the lesson plan and for a moment she didn't seem like, smoking, drinking, putting-her-feet-up-and-doing-no-work Y/n.

She was so passionate about quidditch and surprisingly committed to helping Sirius do well.

"Why do you hate me Y/n?" Sirius blurted out and covered his mouth.

"What? I don't hate you."

"Then why do you act the way you do?" He asks and she sighs.

"It isn't easy for me to make friends so I stick with the ones I have. And I have a temper, certain people tend to get on my nerves fairly easily. You with your group of Maroidies or whatever you call yourselves-"

"Marauders." Sirius corrected, but quieted at her warning look.

"You're really loud, your idea of mischief is annoying pranks and you flirt with anything that crosses your path." She finished and you could say his mood was significantly lowered.

They reached the quidditch pitch and Y/n glanced at her broom then Sirius' empty hands.

"But when you're by yourself, not showing off with those other arseholes, you aren't too bad Sirius." He looked at her to see a smile on her face and his heart stumbled.

She called him by his first name, with no add-ons, in a nice way.

"Now, last order of your servant-hood. Go in and get yourself a broom so we can get started before dark." She nodded towards the tent.

Sirius raced towards the school brooms with a bright, goofy grin covering his face.

[sherlockfanficwriting]

Sherlock BBC “I’m sorry”

Summary - Based on a request, you, Sherlock’s sister, end up in a disastrous fight with your brother. Having been verbally horrible to you, you storm out and never look back. Not much longer, you have the shock of your life, but you won’t recover in a second from it. Will your brother change?

Warnings - small angst

A/N - please take the poll that I recently uploaded :) and enjoy this angsty story. its short btw hehe

WHo GON send me more REQUESTsssssSSS?? Dracula? Sherlock?

You skipped down the steps of Scotland Yard in a pair of mid black heels. You had just finished a small amount of paperwork with your brother, Mycroft, on a difficult case. 

“I can’t believe I am being seen in a place like this,” Mycroft scoffed, desparately trying to hurry down the steps. 

“No one’s even looking at you!” You shouted at him, lightly punching his arm. 

“Sometimes I wonder how we’re related, (Y/N).” 

You flew down the outside steps with Mycroft and whipped open your car door. He awkwardly bent down to fit in the medium sized car. Mycroft held his phone with one hand and used his index finger to scroll up and down, which caused you to roll your eyes. You drove through the city and parked in front of an immensely tall building. 

Mycroft placed his phone back in his pocket and sat up straight. You sat still.

“You’re not coming inside?” He asked. 

You shook your head. “I’m going to see Sherlock for a little.” 

“Well, okay. I hope I’m not that boring for you.” He opened the door and swung his legs over. 

“Never. I’ll stop by tomorrow and bring you something.” You smiled at him and waited until he walked through the large glass doors into his highly professional  life. 

As soon as you parked in front of Sherlock’s flat, you whipped your body over, searching for the crumpled white bakery bag on the seat behind you. You grabbed it and peeked inside the bag. There, the warm blueberry scone that was his favorite, lay idle. You hopped out of the car, clutching the bag, and let yourself in the apartment. You walked up the steps and knocked on his door. 

“Come in.” He said. 

You walked inside and found Sherlock reading a book on his chair. He looked up to you and his eyes immediately went to the bag. A cheeky smile formed on his face. 

“Blueberry?”

“Just how you like it.” 

Sherlock jumped up and ran to you, wrapping you in a tight hug. He grabbed the bag and as soon as he opened it, it was already eaten. You looked at your brother in pure amusement. 

“Do anything interesting besides being with Mycroft today?” He asked. 

You shrugged. “Just paper work.” 

“I see Anderson’s got something with you.”

You rolled your eyes. “He’s just being friendly.” 

“You like him.” 

“Sherlock, I’m just friendly. Not like you.” 

“Why are you nice to him? He’s nothing but stupidity. He gets in the way.” 

“Don’t be so rude. I’ll be nice to who I want to.” 

“Did you screw him?”

Your eyes widened at him. “Sherlock! What is wrong with you! Like I said, I only join in conversation. Friendly. Nothing more. It’s like I do with everyone else.” 

“Whatever. Just don’t make the same mistake again.” 

“What mistake?” 

“You know. You remember James. I bet you do.” 

You sighed. James was one of your dear friends. He was smart. He was talented. However, one day, you both did the riskiest thing you could ever do involving crime as well as hacking. It was both to challenge your intelligence, but it didn’t end well, especially for James. You had been fond of his name for years. You never liked to remember the past, but it wasn’t all your fault. It was realistic. It was something the two of you did, but one suffered more. It was random, but you would do anything to take it back. 

“Can you just leave it be?” You asked, feeling emotional. 

Sherlock scoffed. “Why did you even do that? I thought you were smart. I never knew. Do you miss him? Well, certainly not, you fundamentally killed him. I just can never fathom myself doing that.” 

You felt your eyes becoming ever so slightly watery. You didn’t know why Sherlock always escalated things like this. Sometimes it was too much. 

“Don’t kill Anderson and please don’t kill Lestrade. We need him. I don’t kill my friends. I hope that was the last one.” 

You looked at him in the eyes. He had no right in doing this. What does he know?

“Just leave me alone.” 

“Was James good to you? Are you hitting up Lestrade too?” He asked, chuckling. 

Your face burned and you clenched your fists.

“I never understood why you did selfish things like that. I should know. I wonder if Mycroft does.” 

You had it with Sherlock. You couldn’t hear it anymore. You bring something nice over to your brother and he treats you like this. 

“At least I’m not a failure in life. At least I don’t live in a trash place like this, acting like I’m smarter than everyone and constantly showing off what I can do. I don’t act like I’m better every single moment of the day. You could have been something big, but what are you doing? Solving whatever you call these easy cases in London and acting like you hit home every time you solve them? You’re just sitting around and doing what? You’re doing nothing. You’re a failure.” 

Sherlock looked stunned at this. Tears were streaming down your face. 

“Why can’t you just be nice? Normal? Why do you think you’re all alone in life except for John? He doesn’t count! He’s mentally unstable and troubled. He’s not normal. He’s just there to make you feel better about your skills and intelligence. No real person wants to be with you ever. Yeah, I made a mistake. I don’t need you doing this again.” 

Sherlock’s eyes grew dark and cold. They lost the familiar glimmer inside. You couldn’t look at him any longer. You whipped your body around and stormed down the steps and into the city. You didn’t look where you were going nor did you care.

“(Y/N)!” A voice behind you shouted. It was Sherlock. You paid no attention to him. You turned a corner and noticed him running towards you. You picked up your pace, wanting to get away from him. You turned your head back to the road, and in a split second, right in front of you, you slammed into a car, which immediately braked. Your body fell to the ground. You heard Sherlock scream your name, but his voice sounded distant. Soon you temporarily slipped into a deep trance while your brother, panicking, picked you up. 

------ an hour later -------

You started to yawn but soon stopped as you winced in pain. You touched a spot on your head near your scalp. It hurt. As you opened your eyes wider and adjusted to your surroundings, Sherlock sprinted in, blocking your view of the table in front of you. 

“What happened?” You asked. 

Before you finished your question, Sherlock’s long arms were immediately wrapped tightly around you. You moved your head into a comfortable position nudged against the nook between his neck and shoulder. After a few seconds, the events came rushing back to you, but instead of becoming angry, you retaliated. After what just happened, it wasn’t appropriate. You grimaced as you thought of it. You couldn’t change everyone. You tried, but you couldn’t and you shouldn’t. 

Sherlock let go of you carefully and examined every part of you with his eyes. 

“Are you in pain?” 

You shook your head. “I’m fine. Thanks.” 

He noticed your attitude and the scene from earlier was constantly replaying in his head. You began to swing your legs over the bed. Sherlock grabbed both of your arms and held you down. 

“I’m sorry. I really am.” 

You were partially shocked and couldn’t really believe you heard him saying this. You covered your surprisement.

“It’s okay. It really is.” You weren’t lying. 

“I’m serious, “(Y/N).” I’m working on it. I can’t do it without you. This was all my fault. You should have never gotten hurt. It was all because of me.” 

You looked into his eyes. The glimmer was still gone. You couldn’t help but feel bad. This wasn’t you. You took Sherlock’s hand, which was freezing, and you held it inside your warm hand. You squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Well, maybe a little.” You said, laughing. A smile started to spread on his face. 

“I hate you sometimes.” 

You stood up and began walking out. “Do you want me to walk in front of a car again?” You asked. 

Sherlock’s eyes widened then he soon rushed over to you, beginning to ask more questions and annoyingly pecked at the three bandages you had on. 

[heanv]

  lowkey

genre: angst, romance, enemies to lovers! au, secret lovers! au

BASED ON A BOOK! “ Letters to the Lost” by Brigid Kemmerer

warnings: typos,mentions of death, car accident, cursing, smoking

words count: 8k. 

song: lowkey by Niki

requested by: @deniiiloves​

“Me too.”

Everythings was shaking.The words, the sheet of paper you were holding was shaking,your hands.Your eyes burned in the sight of the foreign handwritting.You closed them tightly and tried to take a deep breath.

Someone read your letter.

It’s been two days since you last came here on the cemetry.The letter should have been taken by the wind or animals.But now it is in your hands once again and  not only this but someone felt the need to put on a  comment.This was unacceptable.This was private.Between you and your mother.

It was a boy.You were absolutely sure.There were greasy fingertips on the edges and the handwritting was ugly.It radiated arrogance.How could he even think about it. To insert himself out of nowhere into your grief and to have the guts to claim that he knows how it feels. He does not. He doesn’t even have the slightest idea what kind of pain this is.

You showed up late for school, with reddened,running make up and shuddering breath.Again.It was late September, months after your mother’s death but your desparate tries to get yourself together weren’t so successful. After school you went there again.After all you weren’t in the mood for homework nor to go  at home and lock yourself in your room.There was something different this time.You feel colder than usual.You feel exposed,too vulnerable.Every single thing you want to say could be seen,read,judged.So this time instead writting to her, you wrote to him.

‘‘Privacy is an illusion.

Obviously you know this,since you read my letter.It wasn’t addressed to you.It wasn’t for you.It had nothing to do with you.It was between me and my mother.

I know she is dead.I know she can’t read the letters.I know there is very little I can do to feel close to here anymore.

Now I don’t even have this.

Do you understand what you’ve taken from me?Do you even have an idea? What you wrote implies that you undestand what agony is.

I do not think you do’‘

This was the first weekend you didn’t go to the cemetry.But you are glad you did this morning  because you found a letter.

“What is this?” asked Mina.

“A letter.”

She said no more because she ptobably thought it was for my mother.I let her think that.

“I don’t think you understand agony yourself.If you did, you wouldn’t have interfered with me.

Did you ever think that my words weren’t meant for you to read,either?

Are you getting crazier than you already think you are? When you read the letter for the first time this morning instead of crying, you found yourself getting angry and you wanted to punch this damn loser in the face.The silence was making you even more furious because it only caused you to overthink even more.

The bell rang.You needed to move, you didn’t want another detention.Mina escorted you to your class not asking why you suddenly looked worse than normal, which you deeply appreciated.Of course during classes you were just physically attenting.Nothing really sparked your interest anymore, you notes were messy and you didn’t  even feel bad.After the teacher dissmised the class you wanted to exit the classroom as fast as you can and so you did.

You felt a sharp burn and let out a cry as the hot liquid makes contacted your skin and clothes.A cup of coffee has exploaded over you and unconsciously you fell on something solid and you see scuffed black boots.

Lee Donghyuck, with his shirt and jacket were soaked also with coffee,was “shinning” in front of you.The star quarterback that had got a criminal record and a frequent seat in detention.He’s tall,amazingly handsome but mean enought to keep all the girls away, and not only.He was simultaneously trying to help you up and pull you away from him.He looks at you with face with absolute derision and with his rough voice half whispers.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You are definetely not afraid of him,who does he think he is?

“You ran into me” 

“I wasn’t the one running” he takes a sharp move forward which causes a great intensity humiliating and horrible.

Okay, maybe you were afraid of him, a little.

“Lee Donghyuck.Late.Again” Mrs.Kim,my freshman biology teacher.

“I wasn’t late.She ran into me”

Mrs.Kim pursed her lips, looked at us,probably notice the coffee stains and sighed.

“No food is allowed outside the cafeteria-“

“Coffee isn’t food” interrupted Donghyuck.

“Mr.Lee I believe you know the way to the principal’s office”

“Yeah, I could draw you a map.” his voice sharpened and you start wondering if he is going to hit the teacher.” But as I sad this is not my fault”

Then he left the conversation,throwing the paper cup into the trash can.

———————————•••———————————

“You are right.

I shouldn’t have interfered with your grief.I’m sorry.This doesn’t mean you are right to read my letter and I still kind of hate you for that.I have been thinking about your “me too” and what it meant and whether your pain is anything like mine.

Not that it is any of my business.”

———————————•••———————————

It was Sunday afternoon and you were sitting in the sunlight for two hours.It’s a popular day at the cemetry and you’ve been watching mourners come and go all after noon while re-reading your answer.

“I’d say you are kind of dark but I’m writting to a girl who leaves letters in a cemetry, so I guess that’s given.

You said you were wondering if my pain was like yours and honestly I dont’t know.

You lost your mother and I haven’t lost mine.Don’t you think it’s funny how people say “lost” as if they are just misplaced?

My sister died four years ago.My father killed her.She was ten. People assume we spent her last days in a hospital surrounded by doctors but we didn’t even know they were her last days.

Cancer didn’t kill her.My father did.And I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. 

My dad is in prison now, and my mum is married to a dumbass.’’

I’ve read the letter seventeen times and I read it one more.

“Me too”

He’s lost his sister. Four years ago. She was ten so now she’d be fourteen. Is the Letter Guy an older brother- or a younger one? Your conversations were too mature there is no way you were writting to a twelve-year-old.Just no way.

———————————•••———————————

“I’ve started a 35 notes to you and they all start with “I’m 17” and no more.

I sound like an idiot.I just don’t wanna loose it . I don’t even know you but I understand you.

And I feel like you understand me. And that’s what I like so much about it.”

I couldn’t believe I actually did write this.But what I couldn’t believe more was the response.

“I don’t wanna loose it either. But maybe we could take it digital, so we are not at the mercy of the elements?

I set up an anonymous accont

thedark@freemail.com

your move,Cemetry girl.”

Wow.

The moring breeze qas chilly, and it ruffled the paper.You read it again.

Wow.Wow. Suddenly you needed to move. You kissed your palm and slapped it to the gravestone.

“Sorry Mom,gotta go.”

From: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

To: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

Date: Wednesday,October 2 ; 7:17 AM

Subject: Going digital

The Dark? Don’t you think that’s kind of ghoulish?

———————————•••———————————

Mina was waiting for me while I was hopelessly seaching for one book of mine and that’s when I overheard the conversation of two girls next me.

“Do you know him?”

“Lee Donghyuck.Duh, who doesn’t?

“Is it true that he stole a car?”

“Yeah and not only he stole it but he ran it into an office building”

I did not heard the last asnwer and I honetly didn’t really have a choise because Hendery, a friend of Mina approached us.

“How are you girls doing?”

“We are fine, what about you?” Mina asked, while trying to hide her huge smile, failing miserably.

“Never been better.So...” he put his hands on his waist and gave me and Mina a glance “Are you two going to the homecoming tomorrow?”

Mina nudged me with her hip feeling my uncomfortable state.

“It doesn’t have to be a date. Just hanging out”

A dance? Now? Maybe it wasn’t that bad idea i neee some distraction.

“Sure”

“Really?” the both look at me,not believing what they heard. Honestly I didn’t beleive it either.

“Yeah,of course”

———————————•••———————————

From: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

To: Cemetery Girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

Date: Wednesday,October 2 ; 8:16 AM

Subject: Ghoulish

We met by exchanging letter in a cemetry so I don’t think either of us is in position to call the other ghoulish.

Are you going to the Homecoming? I am. I know you probably don’t  feel doing such a thing but I think that you deserve to feel something else beside grief, you deserve to have the normal life of a teenager.

You felt yourself blushing. He cared about you. And he was right, you felt guilty going to the Homecoming When you told your father that you were going, he looked like he was having a stroke and then he handed you his credit card and told you to get whatever you wanted. He seemed releived that you started opening up but you felt almost as if you are faking it.

———————————•••———————————

A blue-silver party factory exploaded in the school gym.Ballon bouquets hang everywhere,along with crepe-paper rosettes and streamers crisscrosedin every direction. It is so cheesy but secretly you really liked the way the tiny mirrors throw spots of light around the darkned gymnasium.

You haven’t seen Hendery yet, instead you were clinging to Mina. Then your eyes rake over the crowd. The Dark is here and he could be anyone.

“Are you looking for Hendery?” Mina leaned in close.

Not at all.

“Yes.Have you seen him yet?”

“No.Let’s go over by the food tables so he can find us.”

/ Wonder what I'll do when the cops come through/

Along the black wall,six long tables that have been set up were filled up various kind of snacks and bottled water. You picked up a cup of a punch and lifted it up to your lips,prepared to scan the crowd again. But you choke on the drink and almost cough it all over Donghyuck. I didn’t really expect him to comply with the dress code of the Homecoming, but he did. He was wearing a white shirt,khaki trousers, and blue-and-green-stripped tie. You did your best to get your heart rate under control.

“Stalker much?”

“Yeah” he says with his voice rough low and full of sarcasm. “ I’m stalking you at the food table” He moved to get past you.

“Looking to spike the punch?”  

/ And the whiskey's run out/

That was a mistake and you realize it as soon as the words leave your mouth. You shoudn’t have said anything. Donghyuck looks like a dog ready to bite. With eyes made of ice he looked at you.

“No.” Then he moved past you again and walked away. You saw him how he gave a bottle of water to somebody, but it took you a moment to make out who it was. 

It was Mark Lee, Donghyuck’s best and probably one friend. It was the first time for you to see him not wearing a hoodie and he is actually a very decent-looking guy.

‘‘ You guys look NICE” Hendery appeared all of a sudden.

“So do you” said Mina.

You spent some time trying to dance with Mina and Hendery but eventually you got tired and you didn’t wanted to ruin the fun the other two were having.

‘‘ I’m thirsty” you excused yourself.

You stepped off the dance floor and moved to the bleachers. There was a gap in the riser there,backed by the emergency doors.The lights didn’t reach there. You almost felt as if you are in a cave, all by yourself.

“ I don’t want to scare you” said a soft voice behind you and someone moved from the shadows. It was Mark Lee.

“It’s okay”.

Mark smiled softly at you and then you thought about it. If you had to compare Mark and Donghyuck, they’d be like white and black or day and night. You and Mark talked how was the night going and then you aked him if he had a date.

‘’ I don’t really date, I’m more like wingman’’ then he looked at the darkness behind him.

‘‘For who?’‘

‘‘No, for Hyuck.He’s outside,grabbing a cigarette.’‘

Then you heard steps.Donghyck freezed when he saw you and his eyes iced over again.

‘‘Stalker much?’‘

‘‘Hasn’t anyone ever told you that smoking will kill you?’‘ you told your cheeks not flush.

‘‘You are kidding. They should write that on the package.’‘ 

‘‘How can you be so mean?”

He’s closer suddenly you could smell his cigarette-stinking breath.

‘‘You know nothing about me”

You speak with thinking as fast as he takes one step back.

‘‘ I know you are a loser with a record.’‘

And here we go again. The guilt. How could he make you feel so guilty? You looked up and saw Donghyuck’s colder than normal. He made a sign to Mark and they both turned back to going back to the party. You ran after them, not sure why, and you shouted at them to stop, no of them actually doing so.

“What?” a sharp turn was made by Hyuck.

The apology was burning inside you throat but never came out.

“ I think it’s time for you to go back to the dancing floor, princess. Wouldn’t want anyone to catch you slumming with the losers?”

This felt like a slap. Everything tonight was a mistake, You shouldn’t have come here in first place.

———————————•••———————————

From: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

To: Cemetery Girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

Date: Friday,October 4 ; 10:04  PM

Subject: You owe me,Cemetry girl

I hope you are having better night than I am.

The cemetry is well of silence. It was dark but you could find the way to your mother’s gravestone even if you were blind.There was nothing really to do there especially this late.You just sat, thinking you could handle the very chilly weather but the more time was passing the colder you felt.

You are not completely sure how to answer The Dark’s email but eventually you started typing but you stopped as some raindrops landed on your screen.Cold pours down from the darkness. You ran towards the car, shivering and then you put the key ready to go home.

And then the car won’t start.

What.The.Hell

Beat this, The Dark.

You breath shuddered. You flipped every dial you saw, killing everything.Then you inserted the key and gave the ignition a try again.

The car gives a pathetic rum-rum-rum sound but then flares to life.Victory! You kept both your hands on the wheel and peer into the darkness But a loud clunk sounded from beneath the car then the vehicle lurched sideways and began to spin.All you could see was darkness.

Help me, Mom.

It took you a while to unwrap your fingers from the steering wheel and then you noticed that your entire left tire is gone. You tried calling your dad.Three times but he doesn’t pick up. Then you called Mina.Straight to voice mail. You had no choise so you clicked the mailing app and told everything The Dark about you night.

He replies almost immediately trough chat.

The Dark: Are you OK?                                              Cemetery Girl: That depends how broadly you are defining OK.                   

The Dark: Seriously. Please tell me you are not standing on the side of the road.

Cemetery Girl: I am in the car and the doors are locked.                                     

The Dark: I am still in school. Do you want help?I can come to you.

Oh my God.

You didn’t know how to answer on such a thing. Did you want to see him? Defenetly. But you really liked is as it was.Anonymous. But you were desparate and stuck of the middle of nowhere.

Cemetery Girl: Yes.Please come and help me.

———————————•••———————————

Inbox: No new updates.

It’s been almost twenty minutes since you last messaged him. Where is he? Did he saw you from far and got disappointed ? You were already overthing what could have happened. The headlights had gone dim for minutes ago, which must be a sign the battery is getting ready to give up. Before you realise you were sobbing in your hands.You don’t stop the tears.

Knuckles rapped on your window. You gasped and jerked your hands down.There was a guy beside your car.

He’s here! Oh,he’s here! Thanks, God.

But then your vison started to clear. It’s not The Dark. It’s Lee Donghyuck.

/ 'Cause I've been lookin' at you since half past two/

‘‘Are you broken down?” he said loudly.

‘‘No, I’m fine.” you yelled back. 

He didn’t particularly believed you.

‘‘Did your tire blow out? I saw the rubber on the road’.‘

‘‘I’ve already called s-someone.And he should be here any m-minute.”

‘‘So you don’t want my help?’‘ his eyes went darker.

‘‘No, I’m fine’‘ you suck a shaky breath through your teeth.

He looked up at you,standing there in the rain.

‘‘Suit yourself’‘ he swang your door and turned away.

You had two options.  to sit there all night,shaking and freezing OR asking Donghyuck for help.

Damn it.

‘‘Wait!’‘ 

He turned to you and just stared.

‘‘Is your battery dead?” he said after a minute.

‘‘Yes, I haven’t replaced for a long time.’’

‘‘Shoking.’‘he jerked his head towards the car.’‘ Come and sit in my car, so you can warm up.’’

And so you did.

You expected his car to smell like cigarettes and to be some kind of miserable but it’s totally the opposite. It’s clean and smelled nice and it was kind of cosy? He slided into the driver’s seat and started the engine and than you let your your body welcome the warm feeling. You both sit in silence for the longest time untill he spoke up.

“Are you afraid of me?” for the first time his eyes weren’t as cold as ice , instead they were soft and unexpectidly beautiful. You just stood up there, thinking of possible answer.

“If I say yes, are you going to use it against me?”

“No” his voice was even.

“Then yes,a little.’’

/ Wanna take this downtown?/

He didn’t say anything. Silence,again.

“What happened? Why are you wet and how long have you been waiting?”

“I still don’t know this whole time I was trying to figure out what’s going on.”

“From the look of your tires, you are luck it wasn’t all four.”

“You are kidding. I was so busy memorizing the latest copy of Car and Driver before showing up at the Homecoming!”

He looked amused.

“You are kinda funny when you are not so busy being judgmental.”

/ This liquid courage got me way too honest/

Everything about him was so unexpected. He’so prickly and then he’ll startle you with words that sound dangerously close to concern. You watch him in silence fixing somethings in your car and when he was ready he told you he’d follow you home so he is sure you were okay and you couldn’t even say “thank you” because he never stopped as you reached your house.

From: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

To: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

Date: Friday,October 4 ; 11:32 PM

Subject: Home

I wanted to let you know that I made it home safely. I hope you are okay.

By the morning the rain had moved out,leaving the temperature even colder.

From:The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

To: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

Date: Saturday,October 5 ; 01:06 AM

Subject: Tonight

I’m sorry I was late tonight, I had to drop a friend off first. He was flipping out about curfew. By the time I came to you, you were already gone. But if I’m honest, I’m glad we haven’t met yet.

———————————•••———————————

“Tell me again how he kissed you!” you said,smilling widly.” You must have left out some detail.”

Mina giggled and blushed. Then she started telling you the story again.

“Look. There is Hyuck’s weird friend.”

You followed her gaze and saw Mark, back in his hoodie. You hezitated for a moment but you went for it.

“Hi,Mark!”

He looked up in a surprise and almost seems to shrink into himself untill he located you,waving at him and his whole frame relaxes and he changes his course across the stree and up into Mina’s driveway.

“Hey.” he said.’’How’s your car?”

DongHyuck must’ve told him about yesterday.

‘‘It’s okay.My dad let me trade yard work for new tires and a battery.’‘

‘‘Your dad sounds like a nice guy.’‘ his eyebrows go up.

‘‘He is.’‘

‘‘ I’m glad you got you car taken care of. Hyuck said it was in pretty bad shape.’‘

‘‘It was...and tell him thanks.No one else stopped.’‘ 

Mark’s expression leaked out some tension but he nodded once.

‘‘I will.’‘

‘‘Come one Y/N’‘ said Mina.’‘We need to go inside for dinner.’‘

‘‘One sec,’‘ you said but when you turned Mark was on the sidewalk,moving away,heading home.

After Mina fell asleep you decided to write an email to The Dark to tell him about Lee Donghyuck because if he didn’t help you, you honestly did’t what could’ve happened. 

 ———————————•••————————

During one of the breaks between the classes you were hanging out with Mina in the yard of the school.

“I have to go to the homeroom,” you said. “ I don’t need another detention.”

“Okay,see ya.”

You ended up in the path of Lee Donghyuck. You considered ducking away and losing yourself in the ocean of students, until you realised that he seemed to be considering the same thing.

“Hey.” you said.

“Hey.” His voice was quieter than you expected. You knew you were going to be late, but for a heartbeat, you didn’t want to move.

/ Be as quiet as you can, 'cause if anyone sees,they'll just blow shit up/

A breathless Mina caught your arm. “Y/N, what are you doing?” Her eyes flick dismissievely at Donghyuck. “I thought you didn’t want to be late.”

“Just a second.” you looked at her in a begging way and she let you arm free but when you turned Donghyuck was already gone.

It was absolutely killing you that you didn’t know who The Dark is. You could’ve just ask him who he is but you didn’t if you were ready for that. Maybe the mystery us part of what’s so attractive about him. Maybe you’d meet him and he’d be horrible.

He wouldn’t be. You just knew it. You found him fascinating.

———————————•••——————————

The parking lot is only half full by the time you left the building. The only cars left are students with sport or club obligations, of which you had none.

Oh, and Mark and Donghyuck.

There were standing behind Hyuck’s car ,leaning on the tailgate and Donghyuck has a cigarette between his lips. You didn’t really anticipate seeing them right now but you didn’t have a choise.

“Stalker much?” Donghyuck calls, but his voice isn’t cruel, he is teasing?

/ No one's gotta know, just us and the moon 'til the sun starts wakin up/

“You know you are not allowed to smoke on school property.” He took another drag and blowed smoke rings.

“You seem to be awfully concerned about my smoking habbit.”

“ I hate it. It’s disgusting.”

The words came out of your mouth before you really considered them. Donghyuck looked startled , and he tosses the cigarette on the ground and stoomped it out.

“Sorry I didn’t know.”

He could sprout wings and you’d have been less shocked right now.

“Thank you, I hate them too” Mark made a small clap.

“Stup up,Mark.By the way should we go?”

“Yeah,maybe”

“Where are you going?” you didn’t even know why you were asking them.

“ At my place,” said Mark.” Wanna come?”

‘‘Scared?’‘ taunted Hyuck,his eyes challenging.

‘‘Not at all,’You lied.’‘ Let’s go.’‘

  ———————————•••————————

Mark’s house  was like a mirror image of Mina’s.Nothing about it is surprising.Mark said his mother would be working for the afternoon. She had a bright,welcoming smile,radiating so much warmth that I felt lucky to be invited inside. Then we went downstairs.

‘‘Do you want something to drink?”

You inhaled to asnwer- but your throat caught.Being in the pressence of a loving mother remended you of how much you’ve lost,Your brain locked up as a grief tangled up the gears inside your had.

You haven’t visited her for days.

Guilt punched you in the chest. It became worse when his mother same downstairs with a plate. You had to turn, inhaling deeply,bliking your tears away. Your body felt like it was on a hair trigger. You needed to get it together. You cannot have a panic attack when somebody asked you if you wanted a drink.

‘‘You are okay.’‘  You heard a voice beside you. Hyuck was there with his voice all soft that you’ve never heard of it. You blikned uo at him.

/ Wizard with words tellin' me my energy's so bewitchin' /

‘‘You are okay’‘ he said again.

You liked that, how he was so sure.Not Are you okay? No question about it.

‘‘How did you know?’‘ you slowly turned to face him.

He pursed his lips as if he was hesitating.

‘‘ I know...the signs.’‘

‘‘I’m going to get some sodas,’‘  said Mark.’‘ I’m going to bring you one.Blink once if that’s okay.’‘

You smiled, but it felt watery around the edges.He was teasing you, but it was a gentle teasing. Friendly. You blinked once.

This was okay. You were okay.Donghyuck was right. 

‘‘Take it out on the punching bag’‘ said Hyuck after Mark went upstairs.

‘‘Really?’‘ your eyes went wide.

You weren’t a violent person.but hitting something sounded really good. You drew back a hand and swing,throwing your whole body into it.

Ow.

‘‘Whoa...,’‘ a hand caught your arm’‘ I don’t want to be sexist  but I didn’t expect you throw a punch like that. For a moment I was worried you’d break your wrist.’‘

This whole moment with Hyuck was meaningful  and you wanted to see more of that side of him.

/ So I'll go first, there's an open bar, let's close this distance /

Then his phone rang.

‘‘It’s my stepfather,’‘ he seemed hesitant to pick up.’‘ I don’t really get on well with him.’‘ But he did pick up.’‘ What happened?’‘ he seemed worried.’‘ I don’t care Alan,I’m coming.’‘

Mark was coming down the stairs when he saw his best friend leaving.

‘‘What happened?” asked Mark.

‘‘My mom collapsed while making dinner, I’m going to the hospital.’‘

Soon after Donghyuck left you excused myself and went back home.

———————————•••————————

From:The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

To: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

Date: Monday,October 7 ; 10:22 PM

Subject: Story Time

Marrige laws are funny. If you want to get married, you can go down to the courthous , sign a few papers,and be married in less than 15 minutes.But if you want to get divorces,you have to wait a year.Even if your husband is in prison. A dumb part thought Mom would wait Dad’s 10 years of sentence. To my know ledge she never visited him either, and I can understand her, he killed her child afterall.

After the first year my mum started dating. no one really lasted long until numer six.He tried to win me over and of course I didin’t let him and since then he hates me up to this day. How should I be grateful that yet another guy was swooping in to ruin my mother’s life?

Sometimes i wished I had died in the car with my sister. They got married last May. And now my mom is pregnant.

You were sitting in the dark,staring at his email and your heart is pounding like crazy. I sense that ‘’Congratulations’’ isn’t the right thing to say. You wanted to ask him more but he probably wan’t in the mood right now. Then something hit you. Donghyuck and The Dark were very similar. They both had stepfathers that they didn’t get along with  shared an atittude. But if Donghyuck was The Dark why didn’t he tell you in the night of Homecoming? Also you’ve never heard Donghyuck mention a sister but then again, you haven’t mentioned your mother in front of him.

If The Dark is Donghyuck, is it a good thing? you could still hear the rasp in his voice. You are okay.

Then another thought tamped your heart down. If this isn’t Lee Donghyuck, what would that mean?

———————————•••———————————

From: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

To: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

Date: Tuesday,October 8 ; 6:24 PM

Subject: Mothers

My mom was always on assignment ,so we never really had the opportunity to have a ‘’girls talk’’ althought I could’ve emailed her. When I was younger she encouraged me to send her letters, Most of the times a letter with a lot of foreign stamps was the highlight of the week. But in my letters,sometimes I lied.Her letters were full of grand advantures and she had photographs to prove every single one of them. ‘’Ian is sending me to Malaysia this week’’ or ‘’I’m going to be a few more days in Iran, Ian wants me to get some shots of those protests.’’ Ian is her editor. So I’d lie, like I’d tell her a photo of mine got and award from the city council and thinhs like this.Anything that could grab her attention. But know all of this was meaningless. I wish I’d just told her the truth. And now I lost her. So talk to your mother and tell her how you feel.

———————————•••———————————

Mina had to skip lunch becuase of her french teacher and you went to Donghyuck and Mark’s table.

‘‘Would you like to join us?’asked Donghyuck.

‘‘I will, thanks.’‘ you sat next to Mark.’’ Woah,Mark what’s all this?’’

‘‘Mom’s obsession.She always packs up enought to feed an army.Here,help yourself’‘ he pushed a small plastic (sorry!) plate to you,full of caprese salad.

You felt Donghyuck’s heave glare on you.

‘‘How’s your mother?’‘

‘‘She’s coming home this afternoon and what they are telling me is that it was just a dehydration.’‘

‘‘So you are seeing her today?’‘

“‘Maybe, I have a community service on Tuesday nights?’‘

Oh, you were curious.

‘‘What’s it like?’‘

‘‘I ride a lawn mover.’‘

‘‘And how long do you have to do it?’‘

‘‘Probably forever”

“90 hours’‘ corrected him Mark.

‘‘Is it okay if I ask you if they put you in jail for you know?’‘ you asked hesitantly.

‘‘Yes.’‘

‘‘Was it scary?’‘

‘‘Yes. I was there two nights.’‘

‘‘Your mom left you there?” your eyebrows went up.

‘‘Yes, maybe Alone made her. No one really bothered to get me out but whatever?’‘

You felt some tension in the air.

‘‘Can I say something?’‘ Mark spoke ,visibly trying to surpress feelings.’‘ Hyuck do even hear yourself sometimes? No one bothered to get you out? I would have gotten you out, my mum but you deicded to stay in a jail cell and pity yourself,calling no one,acting like a martyr.’‘

Hyuck’s hands tightened on the edge of the table.’’What’s your problem?”

‘‘You made choises to be there,so stop acting like  such a damn victim.May twenty-fifth was one day.There are three hundred sixty-four ones.”“

‘‘I am the victim?” Hyuck looked like a thunder.’‘Who’s the one hiding in hoodies when it’s eighty degrees outside?’‘

I am frozen in place,my mind repeating that one sentence,my heart tripping along.It takes my a moment to get my voice to speak up but you achieved to whisper.

“What’s May twenty-fifth?’‘ you demanded.

‘‘The day I wrecked my father’s truck’‘ Donghyuck swalloed.

‘‘The day you got drunk? The day you crashed into a building? The day you barely remember?’‘ You were screaming,yet  you couldn’t catch your breath. He doesn’t utter a word. The room started spinning. A hand cathes my my arm ‘‘ Y/N, Y/N’‘ a familiar male voice is speaking to me but my vision is not working properly.

May 25. The day my mother died in a hot-and-run crash.

———————————•••———————————

From: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

To: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

Date: Tuesday,October 8 ; 3:28 PM

Subject: I need to know

Are you Lee Donghyuck? If you are, I don’t know if I can ever talk to you again.

———————————•••———————————

Your dad knocked on your door and you were so tempted to pretend you were sleeping but you call him to enter the bedroom.

‘‘Do you feel like company?’‘

No, you felt like crawling under you bed and sleeping there until you die.

‘‘No, Dad, I’m really tired.’‘

‘‘Okay then, I will tell them to leave.”

Them?

Your first thoughts are Hyuck and Mark and your heart skipped to quadruple time. ‘’Wait! Someone is here?’’

‘‘Yeah, Mina and some boy Henry...?

‘‘Hendery.Can you send them up?’’

‘‘Darn,we are coming in,’‘ Mina yelled from somewhere downstairs.’‘ You can ignore my calls,  but you can’t ignore Nachos BellGrande.’‘

They showed up in your room,looking like they have just stepped out of a novel, an angel and a hipster sidekick. Your phone lit up suddenly.

The Dark: What happened are you okay?                                                               Cemetery Girl: I’m okay,Friends are over. Will write back latter. 

‘‘So what was all this about?’‘ asked Mina.

You inhaled slowly.

‘‘Lee Donghyuck wrecked his car on the same night my mom was killed. That’s why I got so upset . I thought that maybe he can be involved because he was drunk and he blacked out.”  

Mina stopped eating with a chip halfway to her mouth.

‘‘ I haven’‘t talked to anyone.I don’t know what to d-.’‘

‘‘Do you have a computer?’‘ asked Hendery.’‘ I could look it up.’‘

‘‘How?’‘you straightened.

‘‘I have the password to the local beat crime feed.From my internalship.We could see the both cases and the details.’‘

It doen’t take Hendery long  to log on to the system.

‘‘Date?” he looked up at you.

Your mouth went dry. Could this be happening?

‘‘M-May twenty-fifth.’‘

He quickly tapped at the keys, then frowned at the screen.’’ I see hit-and-run report,but the victim’s last names as Wong and Kim. Who are they?

‘‘Maybe the drivers.She was taking a taxi home from the airport. Wong would have been the driver.’‘ You whispered.

Mina took your hand.

‘‘The accident took place on Hammonds Ferry Road, that’s weird because it isn’t on the way to the airport.I mean it’s not far but still.’‘

That’s really weird.

‘‘There is nothing really much more about this case.Let’s see that loser’s police report,and we’ll see if anything mathes up.’’

He is not a loser.You almost said it outloud.

Hendery was tyoing something when he said.’’ I don’t know if this is good or bad thing.’’

Just tell me please.

‘‘It’s not him.’‘ 

You were so relieved.’’ Just turn it off,okay? ‘’ And so did Hendery.

‘‘Is that your mothe’s gear?” Asked Hendery,nodding at a pile in the corner.

‘‘Yeah, her editor is trying to get it from us...-’‘

‘‘Did the cops search her memory cards? Like what if your mum was able to take a picture of the vehicle?

Your breath hitched.’’Do you think that’s possible?’’

‘‘I don’t see why not.’‘ answered Hendery,reaching for a bite of his taco. Then he looked at you a litle worried,as if he is afraid to say the next thing.

‘‘Say it,don’t worry.’‘

‘‘So, it’s written she died from internal bleeding,probably from the seatbelt. So there might have been time ,especially if she had her wits with her.’‘

Holy crap.

You picked up her digital camera but Hendery took it away from you,making things easier. He slided the cards free and then returned to the computer.When the program loaded you had the chance to see youe mother’s talent once again.All the photos were amazing just like always. But there was nothing connected to the crash.

‘‘Did she have more cameras?’‘ asked Hendery.

‘‘Just two cheap back-ups.’‘

‘‘What’s that?’‘ Mina pointed to where light glinted off a lens,poking from a canvas back.

‘‘Ít’s her film camera but we don’t have a dark room.’‘

‘‘But Mr.Geradi does.Do you want me to take it. I can develop it if you want?’‘

‘‘No’‘ you shook your head.’‘That’s her pictures.I want to do it.’‘

‘‘Okay’‘

You look up,inhaling deeply. ‘’Thank you guys for coming over.’’

———————————•••———————————

Cemetery Girl: I’m okay,False awarm.                                                                    The Dark: What’s with the false alarm?                                                                  Cemetery Girl: Lee Donghyuck didn’t do what I thought he did.                             The Dark; What did you think he did?                                                                    Cemetery Girl: He got drunk and wrecked his car on the same night my mom died.I was worried he was involved somehow.                                                        The Dark: And he is not?                                                                                         Cemetery Girl: No. 

Some minutes passed before he asnwered.

The Dark: How do you know?                                                                            Cemetery Girl: My bestfreind’s boyfriend did an internership in  a newsroom over the summer.He still has access to their crime beat database.He looked both cases up and the times don’t match.Mom died before he even got in his car.                                                                                                                        The Dark: Are you okay?                                                                                     Cemetery Girl: I don’t know what I am. Anyways did you talk to your mother?    The Dark: No.Because I got home late from work, and my stepfather was practically standing sentry outside her door.                                                     Cemetery Girl: And you can’t tell him you want to talk to her?                           The Dark: It’s complicated.                                                                                  Cemetery Girl: It’s only as complicated as you make it.                                       The Dark: Well, I guess I’m good at making things as complicated as possible.

/ So pick your poison, love, let's go somewhere a little more exclusive /

And with that he ended the conversation.

———————————•••———————————

From: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

To: The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

Date: Tuesday,October 8 ; 11:45 PM

Subject: What happened?

If I upset you, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.Please don’t stop talking to me.

———————————•••———————————

From:The Dark <TheDark@freemail.com>

To: Cemetery girl <cemeterdygir@freemail.com>

Date: Wednesday,October 9 ; 07:22 AM

Subject: Talking

I don’t think I can do this anymore. You know nothing about me,nothing about the real me.You only know what I’ve shared,,only a snapshot and you’ve made a judgment of me , based on the little you’ve seen, and I think it’s all wrong.

I’m not a good person,Cememtery Girl.

You don’t need me.

You deserve better.

/ Tension so intense like an asteroid /

You quickly closed the email and went to the chatlist but there was no green light- his name had disappeared entirely.

WHAT.

You tried to type a email to him but the immeadiate respond wasn’t what you were expecting.

This user does not have a Freemail account.Please try again.

He couldn’t do this. Your chest was collapsing,and you started shaking.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” asked Mr.Gegardi. Your mom’s canvas bag with her film camerawas lying in the pile beside you,while you were trying to make your heart beat again.

‘‘Yeah,’‘ You cought.’‘I’m fine. But I came here to ask something.’‘ Mr.Gegardi nodded at you to continue,’‘Can I use the Dark Room?’ I know how to do it.”

Mr.Gegardi nodded once again.’‘ I am pretty sure you can.’’

Your heart was beating so fast that your chest ached.

‘‘Do you know what’s on the film’?”

‘‘Not really,maybe some graphic war zone shots,or they could be anything’‘

‘‘Oh’‘ he continued nodding while pouring chemicals.’’So this is your mother’s film?’‘

‘‘Yeah’‘

He set the bottles down and turned to face me fully.’‘ Do you want to start from the end? Like maybe the last 5 shots?’‘

‘‘Um.Sure’‘ your heart was still jumping around.

He cut the film and holded it up to the strip but it was impossible to tell what might have been on it in that moment.You put the strip into the enlarger,shined it onto the paper,then floated the paper in chemicals to bring the images out.

‘‘I could be wrong, but I don’t think these shots involve a car. It looks more like a person.’‘ said your teacher.

Maybe it was the person who hit her! Maybe she did take a picture of them!

‘‘Mr.Grgardi can I finish developing them alone?’‘

He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then he sighs.’‘Okay,I will walk down to the teacher’s room to get a coffee’‘

You nodded and looked down, the images were becoming clearer.And then you are alone.

The images had processed.

You blinked.And then you blinked again.

It’s my mother on the photos.Smilling.

Naked.

An arm covers one breast,but the other is unashamedly bare.

You stopped breathing.

The next tray developed.Another one of my mother,still naked ,a tangle of arms ,a blurred neck,some dark hairand the edge of a jaw.

The tears went cold on your cheeks.

These features are not my father’s.

The next tray..This one caught them both.You seized the picture with your hands.

It’s Ian.Mom’s editor.He is shirtless,holding her against him.

You thought of your father for the past mounths.She was cheating on him.Cheating.

It felt like she was cheating on you too.How could she? You stood there,sobbing into your hands. You see something else. Her boardng pass,laying on the ground, probably it had fallen from the bag.

Right there the boarding pass was a wet mess but the date was in huge letters, right in the middle.

WEDS MAY 22.

Wait.

You blinked a few times,as if your tears had somehow turned ‘‘SAT’‘ into ‘‘WED’‘ or ‘‘25′‘ into ‘‘22′‘.

Your breath hitched again. Three days ealier than we expected her.Three days before she died.

All of a sudden Hendery’s voice echoed in your head.

‘‘Hummonds Ferry Road isn’t on the way to the airport’.‘

She came home early,exactly like you’d begged her to do.She came home three days early. Just not to be with you.

———————————•••———————————

You were running. And you couldn’t stop. You were out of your mind.You reached the cemetry and ran even fast to reach that gravestone.You were screaming. You fell into the rough grass and started punching the gravestone really hard. You saw your fingers were bleeding but you didn’t care.You were furious. Tears were streaking down to your face and you didn’t understand exactly what you were screaming but you punched the gravestone again.

Then something happened. Someone grabbed you,pulling you against them.Instead of fighting,you collapsed against the persone,sobbing into their chest.

‘‘It’s okay’‘ he whisperes and you know exactly who he is.’’Do you wanna sit down?’‘ he asked you.

‘‘Not near her.’‘ you both sat  a few yards back to an old gravestone.

You leaned into him and after a while he asked.

‘‘Do you wanna talk about it?’‘

‘‘No’‘

He brushed a strand of your hair awat from your eyes and then you lose it.

‘‘She was cheating’‘ you whisper.

‘‘What?’‘

‘‘She was cheating.On me father.She came three days earlier than we thought.I developed the photos in her film camera. They were shots of her ans her editor in the bed’‘

His eyebrows practically hit his hairline.’’Wow’‘

You grasped your hair.’‘Gosh, what am i’m going to tell dad.’‘

‘‘Do you have to tell him anythng?’‘

‘‘I don’t know.’‘

Silence fell for a while.

‘‘‘How did you know I was here.” you asked him.

‘‘I didn’t.I saw you.I work here,sort of.’‘

‘‘Community service’‘ you whispered and he nodded.

‘‘Y/N!’‘ you saw your father running to you’‘ Y/N I was so worried. Your teacher told me you ran out leaving a mess, and we’ve been searching for you.’‘

You started crying once again.’‘I am so sorry’‘He was hugging you tightly and that was all you wanted in that moment.

‘‘It’s okay.’‘ your father patted you hair.’‘Let’s go home’‘

You saw how Donghyuck was making steps backwards , fetching his globes.

‘‘Wait!’‘ you pulled away from your father and once again you were standing ,breathless in front of Hyuck. You closed the distance and pull him over to whisper. ‘‘We were wrong. You make your own path.’‘

The spell is broken.

———————————•••——————————— 

When you got at home you and your father had a long talk. You told him what you knew and what shocked you was the fact that he knew it already.

‘‘Y/N , please don’t doubt your mather’s love, she loved you so much that she stayed with me.Your mother was just- a bit of a free spirit.’‘

‘‘How long did that go on?’‘

Your dad shruged.’‘ I don’t know.Forever,probably.But I didn’t know untill a few years ago.’‘

You continue the painful conversation and sadly you were really disappointed in her.

But you had your father.You threw yourself into his arms and it was the best feeling in the world.

———————————•••——————————— 

From: Lee Donghyuck <Lee.Donghyuck@AACountyStudentMail.org>

To: Y/N Y/L/N <Y/N.Y/L/N@AACountyStudentMail.org>

Date: Wednesday,October 9,  10:27 PM

Subject: Making new paths

 I thought i’d be spending the night at Mark’s tonight. I had a huge fight with Alan and mum in the morning.Forget making a path- this morning’s conversation was like aftermath of  nuclear bomb. But Alan’s car broke down and I helped him fix it and we talked, we’ve never done this before.

It feels harder to write under my own name but here I am,not hidding anymore. I should have told you at the Homecoming night but I wasn’t ready to let go of what we had.

———————————•••———————————

From: Y/N Y/L/N <Y/N.Y/L/N@AACountyStudentMail.org>

To: Lee Donghyuck <Lee.Donghyuck@AACountyStudentMail.org> 

Date:Tuesday,October 10, 5:52AM

Subject: Letting go

I’m glad you never told me. I didn’t want to let go either. In fact I’m still kinda sad that It’s over. I keep thinking about our conversations and I probably will never stop.

There is a lot you don’t show the world,you know and I think you should.Give them a new snapshot.Show them what you showed me.

And on that note...what now?

———————————•••———————————

INBOX - Y/N Y/L/N

No new messages.

By lunchtime, he hasn’t writtien back. You had no idea what that means.Neither he nor Mark were in the cafeteria.

You were sitiing with Mina and Hendery who were feeding or kissing each other and it was hard for you to keep yourself from sighing heavily.

Then a denim-clad leg swung over the bench, and weight droped beside you. Somehow surprised,yet not at all, Donghyuck was straddling the bench.

‘‘Feel like taking a walk?’‘ he said and you nodded eargerly.

And then he surprised you by taking your hand and you went out in the school yeard.

‘‘You didn’t email.’‘ you started.

‘‘I wanted to talk to you.’‘  you hardly noticed the pink tint on his cheeks.’‘And now that I am not The Dark I don’t really know what to say.’‘

‘‘It’s okay’‘ you said softly.’‘We don’t have to talk’‘

He was thinking.

‘‘Wait,’‘he said.’‘I have an idea.’‘

He turned to you, and before you were ready for it,he moved close.Very close.So close that his cheek was against yours and one of his hands was on your neck.His breath tickled his ear.

‘‘Is this okay?’‘he whispered.

‘‘More than okay.’‘

His thumb brushed against your neck in a soothing rhythm.’‘I like you.’‘

‘‘I like you too.’‘

‘‘You were the first person to see all of me,Y/N. The first person to make me feel like this. The way you saw me as The Dark was worth more than a reputation and a record.I don’t know if anyone will ever see me the way you did.’‘

You drew back and put both of your hands on his cheeks.’‘I see all of you, and I’m looking at you that way now.”

He took your hand and put it on his heart and closed his heart.’‘You are killing me ,Y/N.”

“Look at me’‘ you teased.’‘You cannot mae your own path with your eyes closed.’‘

‘‘Watch me’‘ then he leaned and captured you mouth with his.

/as long as we keep it lowkey/

masterlist

———————————•••———————————

so hello guys! this is the first scenario,based on a book. I highly recommend ‘‘Letters to the Lost’‘ , 10/10. If you want to know how the book actually starts, or to see the things from Declan Murphy’s (Lee Donghyuck) POV and a lot of more interesting moments , you should definetely read it. Than you so much fore reading this! <3  

[daybreak-tkler]

Surrender

It was just a casual Friday evening y’know? Pillow forts and blankets and an all out tickle war. Hyungs vs the Maknaes. See? Perfectly casual.

At this very moment in time it was hard to decipher who was winning as neither side had attacked the other. The Hyungs were devising a brilliant plan and the Maknaes were too afraid to attack while all of the Hyungs were there.

“So I’m thinking we take their weakest fighter first and then we’ll tie ‘em up and tickle them until they tell us what their up to,” Hobi suggested, his voice hushed as he didn’t want the Maknaes to hear him. Jin nodded a little “Yeah, I agree but who’s their weakest fighter?” He asked. “Jimin, it’s got to be Jimin,” Yoongi pointed out the other three ‘oh’ing and him nodding. “But how do we get him?” Joon queried. “Good question... but I think I have a cute idea...” Hobi replied with a smirk whispering his plan to the others.

The Maknaes were panicking they could hear the Hyungs devising a plan, they couldn’t hear what it was exactly, but they knew it was a plan. The part they were scared of wasn’t the fact the Hyungs had a plan (although that in itself is pretty scary) it was the fact they didn’t have a plan that was scary. They were still freaking out when Jungkook’s phone made a noise. ‘Ping’.

“Uh oh...” Jungkook spoke quietly.

“What?” Jimin asked as all three Maknaes looked at Jungkook’s phone.

“They want you Jiminie-Hyung!” Kookie gasped. Tae and Jiminie stood up and tried to work on a plan. Unknowingly to them, the Hyung’s cute little plan was working perfectly. Kookie was still texting with Namjoon.

Joonie smirked “I know he’ll give us Jiminie after that, he just didn’t wanna sound desperate,” all of the Hyungs smirk. Yoongi stands up, “C’mon Hobi we’ve got a Jiminie to collect~” He sniggered pulling Hobi up as the two exit their blanket fort.

“Uh oh guys...” Jungkook started in a scared tone. “What’s up,Kook?” Tae asked.

“Knock, knock~” Hobi’s voice can be heard and the other two Maknae’s freak out but Jungkook’s voice cuts through their mini freak out. “Come in Hobi-Hyung,” Kookie says almost ashamed of himself. “Kookie! What’re you doing!?” Tae says worriedly as Hobi and Yoongi enter their little fort. “Jiminie~ cutie we’ve come to collect you~” Hobi coos much to Jimin’s dismay. “What do you mean?! Kookie what are they doing?” Jimin asks frantically and with a sigh Jungkook answers. “You’re going with them Jiminie I’m sorry,” Jungkook says sadly as Yoongi hugs Jimin’s waist and pulls him up and towards the exit. “H-Hey no fair! Tae you can’t let this happen!” Jimin exclaimed and Tae shakes his head frantically.

“Why hello there Jiminie~” Namjoon coos as Jimin is dragged into their blanket fort. Jimin struggles “G-Guys please let me go!” He begs. Jin smiles sweetly pulling Jimin onto his lap and holding him there with his vice grip. Jimin,like everyone else, was still wearing his cute pyjamas that Jungkook had picked out for him. He was wearing a baggy long-sleeved light pink and white striped shirt that read ‘babyboy’ on it and some short shorts that were pastel yellow with little kittens on them. He squirmed a little. “Now, now sweetie, no need to try and escape your just going to sit right here on my lap and giggle freely~” Jin cooed sweetly into his ear making him blush.

“That way you’ll attract the other two here~” Hobi smirks. “For now though, let’s stick with this little cutie~” Yoongi chimes in. Jiminie smiles, this wasn’t so bad. He knew they’d be gentle on him and sweet with their teases because that’s what he likes. So he pushed he’s legs out giggling. “Aww~ you’re excited for this now aren’t you Jiminie?~” Joonie asks him in a sweet tone. Jimin nods cutely and the Hyungs went to tickling him.

Jin was lightly tickling his underarms and ribs whispering his sweet syrupy teases in Jimin’s ear. Joonie was tickling his tummy and belly button just as lightly while Hobi and Yoongi tickled both of his feet. “Eheheehheheeee~ guysssss!~” Jimin giggled.

After a while though, his giggles became so sweet and loud he was squealing things like ‘stop!’ and ‘pleeeeease!’ but it was obvious he didn’t want it to end. Soon enough Tae and Kookie both charged in expecting the worst. What they actually got though was a really cute and fluffy sight of Jimin being tickled by the Hyungs. The sweet sight didn’t last for long though as they were both dragged into it by Hobi and Yoongi.

Three different types of giggles could be heard from the Bangtan household now, Jimin’s sweet, cute giggles, Jungkook’s desparate yet relaxed giggles, and Tae’s loud, booming giggles. But one thing was for sure.

“I think we won this tickle war guys,” Yoongi said, scribbling his fingers on Jungkook’s tummy as the other Hyungs hummed in agreement, listening to the sweet laughter of their lees.

———————————————————————

I’m sorry if this wasn’t fluffy enough ;-; I tried my best! I think it’s cute!

Love you guys!~

[inviouswriting]

Primal AU - Nightmares and love

I might write a few more stories for this. I am hooked on the plot I have in mind.

 Aymeric x Kiya. This is smut

Kiya lost count of the days after she had been saved by Divinity’s kindness. Who knew what she needed most, and what saved her was simply having someone show her forgiveness on what was usually a death sentence in the realm of Eorzea.

It is midnight, and Kiya had woken up with a startle, her thoughts catching her. She notes that her side is warm with Aymeric next to her. She isn’t surprised he is still next to her. He refuses to leave her till she can go home with him. Kiya smiles and threads her fingers through the fringe of his hair. 

She sees Aymeric’s eyes crack open and look at her. He tries to tug her back down next to him. Kiya shakes her head, and he sits up next to her.

“Something the matter?” His voice groggy from sleep. His eyes roam over Kiya’s form. Dressed in blue robes he had brought from home. She had to put on some more weight before Whitecape would allow her to leave. Kiya was banned from using her magic for the time being till she was stronger.

“Bad dream.” Kiya feels him wrap his arms around her, tugging her closer.

“Tell me, what was it about? I shall see if I can help ease your mind.” Aymeric rests his head in the crook of her neck. Waiting for her to relieve her mind to him.

“I feel like I should be here. I had a dream I was still in Mormo’s grasp. Still in her mind.” Aymeric’s grip on her tightens a bit more, hearing her say she shouldn’t be there. 

“It was by miracle you even survived a feat. You just got out of it only a few weeks ago. My love. You deserve life. You did not summon it willingly. Mormo took advantage of you.” He reminds her, he tugs her and arranges her to lie on her back, and he hovers over her. His hands on either side of her head to keep her eyes on him. Kiya has no where else to look but Aymeric’s face.

Kiya looks up and sees him staring at her eyes. Waiting. Kiya darts her own eyes to the side to avoid his intense stare, but peers at him out of the corner of her green eyes.

“Kiya.” He says, waiting for her to look him directly. Kiya swallows a little hard and looks at him.

“I want you to tell me all the feelings you had, after I left you in this room. Before you thought to seek more power.” Aymeric ghosts a hand down the left side of her face.

“It did not kick in till that evening, when you went back to Gyr Abania. I just felt alone... I felt embarrassed... defeated. With all the Scions in that strange sleep sickness... even Tatyl. I felt.. useless. Everyone was fighting, and there I was stuck resting. I couldn’t leave it at that... So... I went to my Black Mage teachers. They were honest about the tome I found. I should never had picked it up.. But I was desparate.” Kiya feels tears again, Aymeric’s gloved hand brushes them away, and presses his palm to her cheek.

“Continue.” Kiya nods.

“Urianger was always the one to go to about primals.. but he was just like everyone else. Otherwise I think he would have talked me out of it.” Kiya tries to look away, Aymeric tilts her head back to look at him.

“I remembered the urn that held Mormo… we... the thaumaturges guild sealed her away in a urn after Cocobusi had been struck with her. I found it, I.. only meant to be helpful.” Aymeric lowers his head to place a kiss on her face.

“You would have been helpful getting rest you needed. Continue.”

“I was at Waking Sands, and found a book of spells from Master Matoya’s library among the books. I thought if anything could help me, it would have been stronger spells. I then sought a place where I wouldn’t be easily found, for quiet. Thus Dusk Vigil.” Kiya feels Aymeric’s hand slip into her hair, fingers petting at her ears. How she missed his touch.

“There was a ritual to be granted more power. But I think because I had Mormo’s urn, the ritual was tampered because of her. All I remember after that point was being trapped in darkness and the most empty feeling I ever experienced.” Aymeric knew the rest she didn’t. How Mormo further summoned a power into the body she stole and took over his beloved. To the point her form had changed to match the style Mormo wanted.

Aymeric lowers himself onto Kiya and tugs her into his arms holding her so tight Kiya feels safe and protected.

“My love. It was only two years. But it felt like ages. I was so scared and ready to sign off on the first adventurer that could take you on. All you Scions spoke of was that primals need to die. I was ready to uphold that in your stead. But it was you. You. The one I swore to protect with all my life and heart. I felt as though I failed you as a husband as well as a knight.” Kiya feels her own shoulder wet with his tears.

“When Divinity arose to that challenge. Something was different. I expected to her or the knights to bring your body back. Not you. My, My darling love. Still here. Still alive. It took everything not to break down in front of everyone there. Still be Lord Commander, when all I wanted to do was just hold you and cry that you came back to me.” Kiya wraps her arms around him now. She buries her face into his collarbone. He is hurting deeply and she feels guilt over making him feel like not only he couldn’t protect her, but that he was going to never see her again.

“I’m sorry Aymeric... I am so sorry... I never meant to hurt you like that.” Kiya feels his arms tighter around her. Kiya then sees him pull back and stare down at her. They were alone in the room, and Aymeric knows the door is locked having locked it himself at night.

“I know how sorry you are my love. Divinity told me how the first thing you did when you broke out was cry to me.” Kiya’s cheeks dust pink at the memory. She feels one of Aymeric’s hands go from her face to her shoulder. Kiya feels her body on fire, and the flames stoked by his stare.

“Aymeric, you know I have a hard time staring you in the eye like this.” Kiya fidgets underneath him, and Aymeric only keeps his eyes on her.

“I am well aware. I had questioned Whitecape earlier about something. When you would be physically able to handle me again.” Aymeric’s stray hand goes from her shoulder to dance along a breast.

“When did he say?” Kiya feels her body ache for him.

“Anytime you feel up to it.” Aymeric rubs the back of his hand over the breast under his hand. Kiya had missed his touch, and the way he holds her, he missed her as well.

Aymeric lowers and claims her lips in a full passionate kiss, his other hand goes into Kiya’s hair and tugs on it back. Kiya gasps into the kiss, and Aymeric deepens it with pushing his tongue into her mouth.

Kiya’s hands fumble with his clothes, he was wearing his alpine coat, boots discarded when he climbed into bed with her earlier. The red pants he wore, already feeling tight on him, as the palm of his hand at her chest grips a breast. He sighs into the kiss, at the weight being right, and follows the curve to the cloth covered nipple tugging the hardening peak through the fabric.

Kiya moans out, and Aymeric shifts the blankets off them, and starts pulling open the front of her robes. Wanting more skin bared to his eyes. To take in all of her. Aymeric sits back after giving Kiya’s lips a lick. Her black hair and her tail as he recalls, the tufted end of her tail. Creamy white breasts, the smear of the painted stripes on her face from her tears and his touching. Lips painted a light blue, and the hot stare he is getting from her.

Aymeric gets an idea and decides to rearrange them. Aymeric lifts Kiya, to arranges her so her lower half straddles over his face. He had taken extra care of her when he bathed her earlier to remove unwanted hair.

“Aymeric?! What are you doing?! Ah!” She feels his hands spreading her open. Kiya feels her cheeks burn as Aymeric looks at her in such an intimate spot.

“You’ll feel.” He answers her and sets about getting her to make embarrassed noises. Aymeric parts Kiya’s folds till they can’t be open more. He takes a good look at her like this. He can feel the heat coming from her, how he just wants to sink into her already, but he missed her taste on his tongue.

Kiya looks over her shoulder but feels him run his tongue between her folds starting from her clit then to her entrance where he pushes his tongue inside. Kiya feels her body hot, and her face flush from the sensation and what she sees of him. Her eyes are met with his as he delves his tongue further into her. He draws a louder cry out of her.

“Aymeric! What if someone hears!” Kiya worries if her voice will carry out.

“Wouldn’t be the first time they heard you. My dear. Now… let me have you. I haven’t felt you in two long years.” He punctuates his sentences with kisses and bites on her thighs leaving the last kiss right at her entrance. He desired to be in her the most, but the sweetness on his tongue made him wish he could eat her till his heart was content.

Kiya is flipped onto her back, and Aymeric is quick to shed his clothes down to opening the blue tunic and under shirt. He pulls at Kiya’s robes till she was full bare to his eyes better. Aymeric takes her legs and raises them as he fits between them. Without hesitating, he pushes himself full into his wife’s waiting body.

Kiya yelps in surprise at the sudden intrusion in her body. The two year abstinence proving to make her a little tighter to him. With not having him in her for so long. Kiya’s head spun at the sensation of being filled so full of him.

Aymeric eyes her, and lets a smirk cross his lips at seeing the dazed look. Her body did not forget him at all. He draws back slowly and then thrusts back in slowly. Taking his time to feel her under and around him.

Kiya’s hands reach for his, and Aymeric entangles their fingers together as he starts a rhythm. Kiya’s soft moans urge him along. Aymeric lowers his head to kiss her again deeply. Kiya parts her lips to allow him to deepen it as he entangles every part of him with her. Hooking her legs at his waist, chest to chest, arms around her as he buries himself as deep as he gets.

Kiya hears him moan into her ears as he finds the angle he enjoys, one that allows him to thrust deep, and feel all of her as she squeezes him just right. Kiya’s moans echo through the room, when Aymeric shifts his hips just right he hits that one spot that makes her writhe underneath him and thrash against the pillows.

Kiya chants his name, and he can’t get enough.

“Say my name louder!” Aymeric half demands of her.

“Aymeric! Ah! Aymeric!! Please!!! I!! I am going to cum!!”

“Not yet! Not yet!” Aymeric stills his hips pushing himself deep into her. Kiya lets out a frustrated cry of his name. She was just on that edge. She stares at him a hot stare is met with his own smoldering eyes.

“Not yet. Pray… let me feel you for a little bit.” Aymeric’s cheeks are flushed as he indulges in one of his kinks with her. To just sit buried deep and feeling her around him. He loves the sensation of her heat on him.  Aymeric makes up for the stall, by rubbing her clit with his fingers in teasing circles.

Kiya writhes again under him, feeling two sensations she missed in him. When she feels him thrust again, he had gotten the sensation he wanted. His movements are relentless. Each thrust draws a cry from her, and Kiya finds herself digging her nails into his back through the cloth of his shirt. She moves her hands to slip them under the fabric and claws at his skin to leave a reminder she is back in the sting of her scratches. Aymeric’s hands grip tighter finding them on her thighs.

Aymeric chants her name under his breath, he even moans out from the scratches in his back, making him thrust harder. He missed every moment of her. One of Kiya’s hands leaves his back for his hair, and Kiya pulls on it when she is closer. Aymeric shifts Kiya’s hips a bit more, and when he changes the way he thrusts in, Kiya is left with her voice coming out in cries of his name and how good she feels. Her toes curl, and her legs and feet twitch as her body prepares for a powerful orgasm.

Kiya’s hand in his hair leaves the dark tresses and carefully grasps his right ear. She sees Aymeric’s eyes light up as she remembered one of his tender spots. His ears. Her thumb passes over the point and down along the helix before her fingers rub the main part of his ear, thumb on the inner edge and her fingers on the back.

Aymeric loses it and buries his face back down into Kiya’s hair, he thrusts wild and lets moan after moan heard in her ears. Kiya peaks first, with a breathless cry and arch of her back she leaves Aymeric’s thighs drenched in her orgasm. While Aymeric buries deep and fills her with his seed.

Kiya feels him shake and shudder. Kiya keeps petting the ear she has in her grasp. Aymeric pushes his head closer to her hand, and grasps it with his own hand giving her an endearing look.

“My love, do you feel better?” He ached to go again, his insatiable appetite for her reawakened.

“I feel like I am in a better dream, my Knight.” Kiya goes to take her hand back, but it is held to his head.

“Pray forgive me. Please keep touching my ears… Touch both of them…” He removes the cuff off his left ear, and lowers his head for her to touch. Kiya smiles and takes both ears in her hands and rubs them gently. She can feel him happy and shuddering from the sensation.

Kiya enlightens him and keeps petting the ears. She feels them wiggle a little in her touch. She and Aymeric look at each other and laugh.

“Kiya, my love… are you up for one more round? Or are you tired?” He checks before he moves to pull from her. Kiya thinks it over, her body feels tired, but she wants to feel him longer.

“I am up for a more.. gentle round. Think you can take it easy?” Kiya asks, and Aymeric is smiling at her.

“With pleasure. I love you, My Darling love.”

“I love you too. My sweet Knight.”

Aymeric proceeds to love her gently, placing kisses and touches all over her. Tasting her again, making her say embarrassing things, and his favorite, telling him how much she loves him repeatedly. While their hands lock together.

They have two years to catch up on a life they were missing out on.

[aster-wastaken]

404

Well look what I managed to find through Wikipedia! The old 404 short story Jack Heath wrote to replace the 404 error page.

It can be accessed here: https://web.archive.org/web/20111003161346/http://jackheath.com.au/404

Possibly here: http://jackheath.com.au/404

But definitely here:

404                                    

The requested URL was not found on this server.

'What's a 404 error?' Agent Nine asked, staring at Six's computer screen.

'It's bad,' Six replied. 'It means Lilam gave us the wrong address.'

And we've got less than 15 minutes to find the right one, he thought, looking at his watch.

'I'll try again,' Nine said, hands hovering over the keyboard.

'Don't,' Six advised. 'We're lucky he didn't send us into a trap, like a URL that would send out the detonation signal.'

He pulled out his phone and dialled Kyntak's number. "Kyntak, have you secured the bomb?"

'Yeah, I found it.' Kyntak's voice was muffled by engine noise - he was driving somewhere. 'It was in a shopping centre four kliks from the Deck. Any luck with the disarm code?'

'Negative,' Six said. 'Liamm lied to buy himself some time. What's it look like? Can you defuse it?'

'Not a chance,' Kyntak said. 'Eleven wires, left to right: yellow, blue, yellow, green, two red, blue, three green, and one black. Not a standard configuration. And each wire is encased at both ends in a 22cm iron cube, rigged to blow if you try to open it. Without the remote disarm code, only one guy can disarm this. The guy who built it.'

Lilam, Six thought. No chance. He'd never tell anyone how to dismantle one of his bombs. Six shoved open the office door and walked into the corridor. 'Can you take it somewhere where it won't hurt anybody?'

'ChaoSonic officials have been evacuated out of the area surrounding the shopping centre. Ten klik radius.'

Six gritted his teeth. 'Which means, ChaoSonic has established a perimeter.'

'Right,' Kyntak said. 'They don't want the bomb to leave the area they've already evacuated, or it could hurt someone they actually give a crap about. Someone other than us, and the sixty or seventy thousand people still in the hot zone.'

'And there's nowhere in that zone we could have a safe detonation?'

'Are you kidding? There are people everywhere, Six. It's pandemonium out here.'

'Can you seal it in something?' Six asked, getting desparate. 'Something that could contain the explosion?'

'The core is made of cyclotrimethylene trinitramine, usually called RDX. The blast will penetrate steel of any thickness up to three metres. I'm open to suggestions.'

Six closed his eyes. Can't disarm it, can't contain it, can't get rid of it, can't let it explode. There seemed to be no way out.

He opened his eyes. 'You're mobile, right?'

'I've got a car, yeah. But I can't get past the roadblocks.'

'You don't have to,' Six said. 'I've got an idea.' He pushed the button for the lift.

It was just before 2 pm, so cell block 72-C was brightly lit. The lighting conditions always mimicked those outside, with a gradually building "sunrise" and a slow, dimming "sunset". This was so the prisoners didn't become disoriented and lose track of time.

Years ago, each cell wall had been adorned with its own clock. But the clocks were frequently smashed by some of the inmates. Other prisoners became hypnotised by them, watching the seconds click away instead of eating or sleeping. And still others complained that the ticking was keeping them awake at night, even though the clocks were completely silent.

Apparently the inmates were willing to measure their imprisonment in days - but seeing each individual second of their lives disappear was too much for them.

The prisoners talked to Agent Six as he walked down the corridor, some whispering, some shouting. He didn't listen. Only six minutes until the bomb went off.

The interrogation room was at the end of the hall, behind a giant chrome door with a small keypad. There was a steel box on the floor. This was where Six was supposed to dump probited items - any phones or radios, anything sharp that could be used as a weapon, anything magnetic or electrical that could be used to hack the electronic locking system. But today there wasn't time. Six punched in the combination, and the door slid aside.

The man inside was chained to a metal chair by both wrists and both ankles. A clamp around his neck tethered him to the wall, to stop him from moving the chair too far. Six walked in, put his briefcase down on the table, and shut the door behind him. It locked itself with a muffled clank.

'If it isn't my teenage arresting officer,' Lilam said. His lips slid back, revealing yellowed teeth. 'Didn't expect to see you again so soon, Agent Six of Hearts.'

'The URL you gave us didn't work,' Six said. '404 error. You're going to give me the real one immediately, or I promise you, you'll wish you had. Very soon.'

Lilam eyed Six's briefcase. 'What've you got there? Money, to buy me off? A pardon agreement, perhaps?'

'Something that'll make you talk,' Six said, 'if you won't do it willingly. You have fifteen seconds.'

Lilam's smile never wavered. 'Since you took my watch away, I've been sitting here counting seconds,' he said. 'I'm very good at it. Eight thousand, two hundred and sixteen have passed so far. That's almost two hours and seventeen minutes.'

Six said nothing.

'That means there's less than five minutes before my magnificent bomb goes off,' Lilam said. 'Whatever you have in that briefcase, whether it's knives or needles or whips or really sharp rocks, I think I can withstand it for five minutes. Don't you?'

Six said nothing.

'You know what they sometimes call RDX?' Lilam said. 'They call it "cyclonite". That's because - '

'Time's up,' Six said. He drew a pair of nail scissors from his pocket, and placed them on the table next to the briefcase.

Lilam raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Then Six cracked open the briefcase, and stepped aside.

Lilam craned his neck to see.

His jaw fell open.

Inside the case there was a iron cube, with eleven wires poking out of it. The timer clipped to the face read 04:13. Then 04:12. Then 04:11.

I hope I'm not making a mistake, Six thought.

All the colour had washed out of Lilam's skin. 'What the hell is this?'

'Your bomb, I hope,' Six said. 'Otherwise there are two worthless, deluded psychopaths planting RDX bombs in the bathrooms of shopping centres.'

'Why did you bring it here?' Lilam demanded.

'So you could defuse it,' Six said, pointing at the nail clippers. 'I figured the only life you cared about was your own, therefore this was the best way to get the job done.'

'The whole building will blow! All your own agents will die!'

'All the agents have been evacuuated,' Six said. 'If that bomb goes off, the casualties will be you, me, the other prisoners in the cells, and anyone who happens to be on the street above our heads.' He shrugged. 'Not optimal, but better than a detonation in a shopping centre.'

'I'll kill you,' Liam snarled.

'Technically, yes,' Six said, 'if the bomb goes off. But I don't think it will. I think you're going to do what I want.'

Lilam stared at him for a long time. Then he said, 'No. I won't do a thing to help you.'

'I agree. You'll do it to help yourself.'

'You're making a mistake,' Lilam said. 'You're going to die here.'

'Fine,' Six said. He leaned against the wall. 'I'm ready. Are you?'

The timer read 02:51.

The timer read 02:50.

The timer read 02:49.

Six could see beads of sweat growing on Lilam's brow. His eyes were fixed on the timer, like all those inmates with the clocks in their rooms.

The timer read 02:37.

The timer read 02:36.

Lilam screamed and smashed his forearms against his chair, rattling his chains. He heaved his torso forward, pulling the clamp against his throat and making a roadmap of veins stand out on his forehead.

'Every second you spend doing that is a second you'll never get back,' Six said. 'And you haven't got many to waste.'

Lilam sat back, breathing heavily.

'134 seconds to live,' Six said. 'What would you like to do with them?'

He saw Lilam's eyes flick to the nail-scissors, and back to the bomb.

'Or, you could give me the URL that disarms it,' Six said. 'Then you'd have lots of time. But it's up to you.'

Lilam clenched his fists until his knuckles went white. Then he looked at Six, and said, 'This bomb can't be disarmed. Not after the countdown reaches fifteen minutes.'

He's lying, Six thought. 'Is that so?'

'Yes,' Lilam said. 'You'll have to get it out of here, somewhere where it won't hurt anyone.'

'I don't think so,' Six said. 'I like it right where it is.'

'We'll both die!' Lilam howled.

'Yes.' Six frowned. 'I wonder how I'll spend my last two minutes and five seconds.'

Then he turned and looked at Lilam. 'Maybe I'll break your arm.'

Lilam's eyes widened.

'I'm just wondering what you'd look like with a third elbow, that's all,' Six said. 'You could probably still defuse this one-handed if you had a change of heart. Would you like the break above, or below your real elbow?'

'You'd never go that far,' Lilam said.

'You sure?' Six asked. 'I wouldn't feel bad about it - it's nothing compared to the agony felt by the families of your dead victims, or the pain of the amputees who survived the disasters that you created.'

Lilam said nothing.

The counter read 01:40.

This isn't working, Six thought. He's scared, but not scared enough to defuse the bomb.

Six felt sick at what he was about to do, but he kept his face completely blank. Lives are at stake, he thought. I need to go further.

Six picked up the nail scissors and stared at them thoughtfully.

'It seems a shame to waste these,' he said.

Lilam shrunk back in his chair, more afraid of Six than he had been before.

'I wonder if you could still defuse the bomb with one eye?' Six wondered aloud. 'That is, assuming you have a change of heart after I half-blind you with these.'

A barely audible murmur escaped Lilam's lips. 'No.'

'Would you like to choose which eye?' Six asked.

'No,' Lilam said again.

Six walked around behind him, twirling the scissors on one finger. He put one hand on the top of Lilam's head. 'You sure? I'd want to choose.'

'No, don't do it!' Lilam screamed.

Six moved quickly, violently. Lilam thrashed around in his seat. But Six was only unlocking the clamp on Lilam's throat and the chains on his wrists. The Six put the nail scissors back down on the table, within Lilam's reach.

'If that countdown is still going by the time I get back,' he said, 'I'm going to use the remaining time to cripple you with those scissors. Got it?'

Lilam lunged at Six, teeth first. His ankles were still chained to the chair - maybe he figured he could incapacitate Six and take the key off his body. But Six ducked aside, twisted round and punched him square in the centre of his abdomen. Lilam doubled over. Six pushed him back down into the chair. Lilam was terrified, and in pain, but he didn't appear winded. That was good - Six wasn't sure if Lilam could defuse the bomb if he couldn't breathe.

Six punched in the code on the pad beside the door, careful not to let Lilam see. He walked out, and slid the door closed. Then he sprinted back up the hall and out of the cell block 72-C, towards the security station. He needed to watch the camera feed from the interrogation room.

When he got there, he saw that Lilam hadn't picked up the scissors yet. Six squinted as the grainy light from the television poured over him. Lilam was sitting with his palms flat on the table, on either side of the open briefcase.

Six's heart pounded in his chest. Come on, come on! he thought. Do it. If that bomb goes off . . .

Lilam touched the iron cube - a gentle, stroking motion. Like it was a beloved pet he had to put down. Six couldn't see the countdown, but it was still running in his head. Fifty seconds.

Lilam picked up the scissors. He hesitated.

Six held his breath.

Liam leaned forward, and snipped through the black wire. Then the leftmost green wire. Then, in quick succession, the yellow wire on the right, and the second green from the right. Then he stopped.

Six waited.

Lilam dropped the scissors. He tried to push himself away from the table. As his head turned, Six saw an expression of horror on his face.

The countdown hadn't stopped. Lilam had tried to defuse the bomb, and failed.

The counter hadn't stopped because Six hadn't actually hooked it up to anything. He had barely had time to take down Kyntak's description of the real bomb and find enough scrap metal to make a convincing duplicate, let alone make a working timer as well.

Six ignored Lilam's frenzied thrashing on the screen. The psychopath would believe he was going to die until the counter hit zero, but Six didn't care much. He snapped open his phone. It read no reception.

He ran out of the security station and tried again. The corridor was deserted - the Deck hadn't really been evacuaated, but most of the agents were outside dealing with the panicked crowds.

The call connected. 'Kyntak?'

'No hurry, Six,' Kytank said. 'I'm just clinging to the top of a communications tower with a bomb strapped to my back. I could sit here all day, if it weren't for this darn timer telling me I only have twenty seconds to live.'

'Shut up and listen to me,' Six hissed. 'Wires numbered left to right, cut them in this order. Eleven, black. Four, green. Three, yellow. Nine, green. Repeat that back to me.'

Nothing but dead air on the line. Twelve seconds to go.

'Kyntak!' Six repeated, starting to panic. 'Repeat the instructions!'

'Shut up, Six, I'm doing it!' Kyntak said.

Six heard three clicks as Kyntak cut three wires. 'Nine, green,' Six said again. Five seconds. 'Nine green!'

And then there was a beep as the call was disconnected. Six's phone was no longer recieving any data from Kyntak's handset.

No, Six thought. He felt dizzy. No, no, no!

Then the phone rang. Six jammed it to his ear and demanded, 'Kyntak?'

'Sorry about that,' Kyntak said. 'Part of the communication tower came off in my hand, and I had to put it back. The whole network was probably down for a second.'

A sigh of relief exploded out of Six, and he leaned against the wall. 'You idiot! You scared the crap out of me.'

'Out of you? I was the one who had to climb the tower with the bomb!'

Six started walking back to the interrogation room. 'You don't even want to know what I had to threaten to do to Lilam to get him to defuse the dummy.'

Six could hear the skepticism in Kyntak's voice. 'You didn't say the "third elbow" thing, did you?'

'No,' Six lied. 'I had a whole routine involving nail clippers.' He pushed open the door to the cell block.

'Nail clippers? I'm lucky to be alive.'

'Yes,' Six said as he approached the interrogation room door. 'You are. So a bit of gratitude might not go astray.'

He punched in the code and slid open the door. Then he froze.

Lilam was gone.

The blades of the scissors, no longer attached to each other, were twisted into the lock of one of the ankle chains. The iron cube was now wired to the battery of the counter, making it an electromagnet. It was sitting under the electronic door lock.

Lilam was loose again.

'Kyntak?' Six said. 'Get back to the car. We've still got a bomber to catch.'

[shastelly]

Jackets - March Klance Prompts from MonthlyKlance - Day 10

And finally the block on this word clears....

 Two angsty tales of two jackets

 Keith's jacket

 "He left his jacket."  Lance sat on Keith's bed holding the red jacket.  Hunk stepped inside and let the door close behind him.

 "I found him, Pidge."  Hunk spoke into a com as he sat next to Lance.

 "Where is he?" Pidge channeled her worries into anger and Lance cringed at her voice.

 "Keith's room." Hunk answered.

 "Oh."  Pidge deflated over the com in that one word.  "I'll be there."

 "He just left it behind, Hunk."  Lance held the jacket up, like it was to blame.

 "I see that.  Do you think we should send it to him or something?  I mean, maybe we can drop it off sometime at a Blade outpost?" Hunk offered, though his doubt crept into his voice.

 "I don't understand why he left it."  Lance stared at the jacket, eyes as round as saucers like somehow under all the stitches there was an answer hidden.

 The door slid open and Pidge stepped in.  She met eyes with Hunk who shook his head sadly and she looked away.  She took a deep breath and climbed onto the bed behind Lance and wrapped her arms around him.  

 "Found you."  She whispered.

 "Wasn’t hiding and I think you mean, Hunk found me."  He huffed.

 "Could have fooled us."  Pidge leaned against him.  "We were looking for you for the last varga."

 "I'm sorry.  I was going to…I left a t-shirt in here last week and I wanted to come and get it and then I found…"  Lance just held up the jacket.  "Why'd he just leave it?"

 "He probably can't wear it with his Blade uniform, you know?"  Hunk offered.  "You should keep it safe for him, till he comes back."

 "Is he? Coming back?"  Lance looked over to Hunk.  "I mean, did he say anything to you about coming back?"

 "No."  Hunk bowed his head and broke eye contact.

 "He'll be back Lance.  He'll visit at least, right?" Pidge tried.

 "It's my fault."  Lance whispered.

 "No! No way."  Hunk argued "Why would you think that?"

 "I told him there were too many paladins.  I wanted him to see that I should step down."  Lance started

 "NO!"  Pidge snapped.  "No. Just no.  There is no way you should step down."

 "Pidge, it's…I mean…you and Hunk are geniuses, Keith and Shiro are better pilots and better fighters, and Allura is a serious bad ass not to mention how awesome her and Blue are doing.  It just made sense.  It's not like I would have run off.  I could have stayed and helped Coran with the castle or gone on missions where you needed cover, just wouldn't have been a paladin."  Lance tried to explain.

 "How does this make Keith leaving your fault?"  Pidge asked, still a little angry about Lance suggesting he step down.

 "I told him.  I was nervous and I don't think I explained right.  He said to leave the math to you Pidge."  Lance gave her a sad smile.  "And then he left.  Did he think I wanted him to leave?"  Lance asked desparate.

 "No."  Hunk denied. "Nothing you said suggested that and you guys were working together great as Red and Black paladins.  Him leaving was about him Lance, I'm sure."

 Lance nodded, looking back at the jacket.

 "He just left it behind, like it didn't matter.  I thought he cared about this thing.  I thought it was important to him and he just left it."  Lance's eyes were shining with unshed tears. "How could he just leave it? Did something change?  Did he decide he didn't like it anymore? Doesn't it fit right anymore?"

 "Lance,” Pidge rubbed his back with her hand.

 Lance's shoulders shook and the tears started to fall.  

 "We're here for you."  Hunk leaned over put his shoulder against Lance's shoulder.

 "I don't understand why he just left it."  Lance sobbed before turning and burying himself in Hunk's arms. Pidge curled around him and they let him cry until he fell asleep clutching the red jacket.

 Lance's jacket

 Keith sat in front of the cryopod still wearing Lance's jacket and wondering how this day had gone so spectacularly wrong.  Keith had been on a Blade mission in the same area as the castle and it had completed early.  Kolivan said that he wouldn't have a transport for him until the designated time, two quintents from now, and that he should see if he could stay at the castle.

 Allura and Shiro had been happy to let him stay.  Allura said that they were taking a much-needed break and wondered if he would join them.  They were going to a local festival to relax.  There weren't supposed to be any issues.

 Keith had agreed.  He'd been a little surprised to find his room still intact, but he'd changed into some casual clothes, jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt, he couldn't find his jacket, and went to the common room to meet the others.

 "Keith?"  Hunk asked from the kitchen and then Pidge echoed from the couch.  They both rushed over and gave him hugs.  Hunk's warm and all encompassing, Pidge's sharp and near rib breaking.

 "Miss me?"  He laughed. He knew he had missed them a lot. The Blade weren't much for hanging out during free time and he had been spoiled by his time in the castle.  He wasn't the loner he used to be, and the solitary time was hard.

 "Oh course, you dope."  Pidge slugged him in the arm.

 "Ow. Been working out more I see." Keith rubbed the sore spot on his arm, ever amazed at the power Pidge could put behind her fist.

 "Eh, you know how it is."  Pidge scoffed, but her smile was pleased.

 "What?"  Lance's voice echoed behind him.  

 Keith turned and smiled and waved.

 "When did you get here?"  Lance asked with his face frozen in shock.

 "Um, just a few dobashes ago.  I finished my last mission up early and Kolivan didn't want to send transport early. So, I needed a place to stay for a couple of nights.  Allura and Shiro said it was okay and invited me to go with you to this festival?" Keith shrugged.

 "Oh, so just visiting?"  Lance's face went from frozen to frown.  "Nice to see you."  Only when he said it, it didn't really sound nice at all.

 Keith returned the frown, "Yeah, you too.  Don't get emotional or anything, not like I haven't seen you for a few months."

 "Yeah, haven't seen or heard from you.  Your communicator must be broken."  Lance snarked.

 "Hey, guys, let’s get on down to the shuttle, Shiro is flying us down for the festival and we don't want Space Dad to leave without us, right?"  Hunk offered wedging himself between the two frowning boys.

 "Yeah, festival time.  Keith, Allura said they had something like a carnival with games and all kinds of junk food."  Pidge pulled his arm dragging him to the door.

 "I like junk food."  Keith muttered, still stinging from Lance's reception.

 "I know, so come on."  She grinned up at him as the left, throwing a worried look back at Lance before they turned the corner into the hall.

 "Lance, hey," Hunk started.

 "Don't. I know.  I'm being an ass.  I just." Lance blew out a breath and ran his hand through his hair.  "I thought for a moment he'd actual come back, but he's not staying."

 "Not this time, not now, but maybe someday.  And do you really want to miss out on the time he is here, worrying about when he won't be again."  Hunk put an arm around Lance and steered him into the hall.

 "Oh, wise and warm Hunk, I will heed your advice."  Lance mocked chuckling as they made their way to meet their friends.

 The festival was something like a country fair.  There were baking contests, games, animals, rides, and a diverse group of people. This planet was home to a variety of species that had settled here as it was a crossroads of sorts.  There was a decent sized space port, space mall, places to stay, and warehouses that handled shipping all over the quadrant.

 Lance had seemed less angry by the time they'd gotten to the planet.  Keith did feel bad about not having talked with him, but it's not like the Blade gave him a phone or any communication time whatsoever that wasn't either and emergency or part of a mission.  This was the first time since he'd left that he'd been in the same quadrant as the castle.  Generally, if Voltron was in the area, the Blade considered it covered and didn't run a lot of ops under Allura's nose.

 They'd walked together for a while, but then Hunk and Pidge had peeled off to see some sort of technology display, something about the robotic systems in place in the warehouses.  Allura and Coran had seen a delicacy that they needed to try, which smelled like gym socks to Keith, Shiro and Lance.  The three of them were making their way to the game area.  Shiro was watching some sort of throwing game involving rings and a series of colored hooks.  Keith and Lance were standing back a bit and Keith shivered as a breeze blew across the stand.

 "Should have brought a jacket."  Lance mentioned looking over at Keith.

 "Oh, I couldn't find mine earlier and then I forgot."  Keith shrugged wondering why Lance blushed.

 "Here, I'm not cold."  Lance shrugged out of his jacket and offered it to Keith.  "This blue thing is thicker than that shirt you're wearing."

 Keith looked over and Lance was wearing essentially a sweatshirt and he was cold, "Um…Okay, thanks."  Keith slipped the green jacket on, the sleeves were too long, but it was warm, and it smelled like a mix of sunscreen and sandalwood, just like Lance's skin cream.

 Keith closed his eyes to breath in the scent and that's when he missed it.  The breeze picked up suddenly as he felt a gust push against him.  An angry shout and suddenly Lance was on top of him pushing him to the ground.  There was a sound of something crashing and falling and it then was dark.  

 He woke up in the shuttle on the way back to the castle.  He'd apparently taken a hit to the head when the stand behind them had been blown over by the sudden windstorm.  It had rolled across the pedestrian walkway.  Keith’s frantic eyes found Lance laying on the floor with his head pillowed in Hunk's lap.  Hunk was stroking his hair and whispering to him, though it didn't seen Lance was awake enough to know.

 "Lance?" Keith reached out a hand and cringed when he felt Lance's jacket still over his fingers.

 "He pushed you out of the way of the main part of the booth.  It came down across his chest.  We need to get him to a pod."  Coran answered his unspoken question.  

 They had put him in the pod and Coran said he would be out in about forty varga, give or take a varga.  It was then Keith realized he wouldn't even be there when Lance got out.  He'd be away again with the Blades.  So, he had sat on the floor of the med bay determined to stay here as long as he could.

 "Keith?"  Hunk sat next to him.  "Kolivan called.  They'll be here to pick you up in a few dobashes."

 "Okay."  Keith wiped a tear from his eye.  "I can't believe I'm leaving him here like this.  He pushed me out of the way.  He gave me his quiznaking jacket."

 "I'll let him know you stayed with him until you had to leave."  Hunk offered.

 "Would you?"  Keith turned hopeful eyes to him.  "Do you think it will help?"

 Hunk paused before answering carefully, "I think it will help, some."

 Keith's shoulders fell.  There was no way Lance wasn't going to be hurt when he woke up and Keith wasn't there. He stared down at the sleeves of Lances jacket for several ticks before slipping it off and handing it to Hunk.

 "Please, tell him I'm sorry."

 "I will. Keith, you don't have to go.  You could stay you know.  We'd figure it out."  Hunk tried grasping Keith's arm.

 "No. I have a mission.  I leave tomorrow.  We have a lead on something important.  I have to go and it's solo.  I've been prepping for the last phoeb.  Maybe, after that mission."  Keith stood and waited for Hunk to let go of his arm.

 "If you're sure."  Hunk let go with a sad look.

 "I'm not really."  Keith returned the sorrow and walked away, leaving Hunk waiting in front of Lance's cryopod feeling like he might just have made the worst mistake of his life for a second time.

[theseeker469-blog]

Sharing my experience as a Seeker 469

I want to share my experience as a 9w1 4w5 6w5 sx sp. (Warning: personal shit. Also, probably spelling mistakes in this as I wrote this late at night and my brain don’t work good, neither do my eyes.) 9 I'm very easy going and peaceful. I do have a back bone, it just takes more for it to kick in. An example that stands out to me is in a computer class I took, we were working on a coding our own games, we had worked on them for months and we were going to have people visit our class to test them. It was the day we had the visiters and my friend offered to help me code the start screen as I hadn't bothered to make one so accepted the offer. A few minutes later she turns to me with a worried look saying she broke my game and she doesn't know how to fix it. She looked at me like I was about to explode and for a moment I thought I might to, but then I was was like,"that's okay, it was accident, lets just focus on fixing it." (I'm paraphrasing here) I think the biggest problem for me as 9 sx is how I react in relationships, or rather how I don't react, I'm not even a person. What I mean by that is I have a tendency to merge with the other person, I sink into the relationship, become complacent and lose myself in the relationship. It's difficult to have a clear and critical mind and to deal with problems as they present themselves in a relationship as I become avoidant. I'm trying to keep an eye out for this and figure out ways to avoid it for future relationships. Also, llllaaaaaazzzzzziiiiiiinnnnneeeessssss. I think I've said enough. As for how I became a 9, I think it was influenced a lot by a few events when I was young. I have a very small family, just me and my mum, I also had a few people outside of my family I was very close too. One of them was a carer at my local day care called David, he was like a dad to me, my happiest memory was one of him. But when I was about 6 he left to become a policemen. When I was 6 my best friend and one of my only two other friends moved away. My mum was very close with another single mother called Kathy, she was like an Aunt to me. I spent a lot of time with her and her kids. One day my mum and Kathy got in a huge arguement and never spoke again. My mum raised me by herself, she was constantly stress, she did not have the energy to pay attention to me so she treated e like an annoyance and took her frastrutions out on me. After these events I felt very abandoned, alone and left behind. I didn't want be a bother or cause trouble in fear I wouldn't be tolerated or that I would be abandoned. (Sorry this sounds sad, I'm fine now) 1 Wing I'm very self critical. I feel really bad about being lazy, emotional or anxious and I care a lot about being moral and principled. I've heard that the 9w1 can be very religious or spiritual, this is definitely not the case for me. I'm an athiest and ahumanist. The most spiritual thing about me is the poster I have on my wall that says, "Nature will kill you and make new things from you, " and my love of nature. 4 Onto the 4. 4, oh 4. I remember back when I was 14 and going throught my emo phrase. thought, between the 9 and the 6 in my tritype I was a very chill and well behaved emo. I just wore eye liner and listened to Bullet For My Valentnie. I have the distinct memory from when I was 8. I was sitting outside the classroom eating my lunch and looking around. Everyone I looked at smart, talented, funny, good, they were something, but what was I? Then I looked up at the sky, it was empty and blue, it loked so peaceful and clear. Up there there's no one to be compared to, just vast openness. I was a shy kid, I was having trouble at home, I wwas being bullied at school and I was falling behind in class. I felt like a weirdo and a reject and that became part of my identity. (Please don't feel bad for me, I'm fine now. I have great friends, I'm doing well in school and I'm happy) I think I've come to a point were I'm not so worried about being bland. Even if my identity over lap with others, that's fine, that's not a crime and humans are limited. I'm just focussed on growth. All that emotional depth is great channelled into art, poetry and making use of my desire to be unique can be useful. 5 wing I think this makes my already shy and self conscious tritype even more withdrawn. I fear being dull and useless, boring and incompetent. I love knowledge and understanding. one time in a science class back in high school we were doing an experiment, I think it was testing what chemicals were in a mystery solution. The instruction were very strangely worded and many people were having trouble figuring them out. The teacher came over to try and explain it to me, but I became increasing more confused and I ended up messing up my group's experient. I felt so bad and embarassed, I just desparately wanted to understand this simple experiment. My face flushed red and I started to cry. I was fine in after a few minutes with a few pats on the back and passience from my group and teacher, they were very kind and in the end I finally understood! 6 Finally the 6 and all my anxiety, yay! Although I haven't been diagnosed I have been in therapy for social anxiety, I also may have general anxiety, but that's just speculation. You maybe aware of the fight or flight response, well there's actually 5 responses, fight, flight, freeze, friend or flop. I'm more of a flight, freeze or flop kinda person. Although, I'm normally relaxed UNTIL I'M NOT. I once had a panic attack on a faress wheal and I'm scared I'm going to get sick but I'll be too nervous and uncertain to call an ambulence and I'll die. Sounds fun. What even is the purpore of being a 6? Oh, you couldn't trust people as a kid so now you have perminant issues? Cool. I'm very loyal. I take a while to warm up to people, but once we're close I'll probably be the one diggin your grave or releasing your ashes off a cliff over the ocean. I've known one of my closest friends since I was 2 and I've known most of my closest friends since I was 6 or 7. I turn to authority when in trouble. I was bullied as a kid(big surprise) and I told a teacher this kid picked on me. Eventually the teacher got sick of it and and suspended him. He never talked to me again, yay! THEY MAY CALL ME A DOBBER BUT I SHOWED THEM THE POWER OF TELLING AN ADULT O-O I doubt myself a lot. A good example of this is my little freak out my art earlier this year. I'm studying art in college and about half way through the year I was feeling so utterly overwhelmed with uncertainty as I haven't been getting any feed back from my teacher. All these doubts seeped into my mind. One night I just went home and cried because I was so stressed, I felt like I had no idead what I was doing. The next week I finally got some reallt good feedback and my teacher told me she hadn't said anything because she didn't have any problems with my work. I was so relieves. It's not that I need someone to validate me, give me attention or praise me, it's just that i don't know what the hell I'm doing and I need some kind of indicater I'm going in the right direction. This is why I like math. It's either wrong or right, there's no uncertainty. 5 Wing (Pretty much apply what I wrote for 4w5 here) I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAND. 9w1 4w5 6w5 sx sp Okayyyyyy, so overall I'm peaceful, loyal, shy and soft. At times I'm plagued by uncertainty, anxiety, laziness and self-consciousness. I want to get along, learn, create and live by my principles. Also, please don't leave me. Jk, Idk you, thanks for reading, bye.<3

(Also, songs. Because why not?)

9 Obnessed - Are You Down

4 Bully - Trying

6 Liza Anne - Panic Attack

[percyjaksonfanfiction]

A Lilly in a valley of dead grass

A/N: This is a Harry Potter fanfiction as requested by @gracieismydog <3 hope you’ll enjoy this! My requests are always open, for everything! Feel free to message me! Now to the story!

“Oh! Where on Merlin’s beard did I put it!” you murmured as you furiously went through your suitcase, frantically searching for your wand. 

You had this bad habit since forever, your mother always complained about it. For some reason you kept misplacing things and you could never find what you needed when you needed it. 

“Y/n! Hurry! We’re going to be late! It’s the first Quinditch match of the year, we can’t let those stupid Slytherins win!” your best friend Harley, shouted from the common room. “You know that McGonagal will not hesitate to not let us watch the game if we’re late!”

You knew that was more than true. It didn’t matter to Professor McGonagal wheather you were in Gryffindor or not. She would get mad at you and strike you with a penalty no matter what. Snape on the other hand....

“Y/n!” Harley’s voice sounded even more shriek than usual. You decided that you’d find your wand on a different time and run down the stairs.

“I’m here, God Harley, you’d say someone was murdering you or something.”

“You’re so funny.” she said without a trace of amusment in her face. 

“Okay sorry. Let’s go.”

You made it just in time and you managed to get away with just a death glare from Professor McGonagal. That was more than you had hoped for when you were running like crazy trying to get to the field. 

Harley tried to play it mad at first but since she saw that you didn’t care, she cut it out. It wasn’t your fault that your wand had gone missing!

“My wand is missing.” you whispered to Harley’s ear. 

“You can use mine Y/l/n.” you heard a voice behind you and you turned to look. As always, it was Melbi. 

Torrance Melbi. That annoying boy, thinking he’s better than everyone else. 

“How did you even get in Gryffindor?” you sighed as you turned to the match in front of you again. 

“I’m super brave.” he said and his pears laughed. 

“You’re super stupid.” you said under your breath.

“It’s weird isn’t it?” you turned to Harley. 

“What’s weird?”

“The choices the Sorting Hat makes. How can an idiot like Torrance Melbi get into Gryffindor, yet Leith got into Slytherin?”

“Leith?”

“Come on, you know Leith. Leith Snape. Snape’s son.”

“Oh. The quiet kid.”

“Yeah. He gets picked on a lot you know.”

“How is Leith our problem again?” Harley, wasn’t in the mood for conversation and you could see it.

“He isn’t our problem. I’m just saying that it’s weird.”

“What’s weird is that you’re so intrested in a Slytherin boy. Especially Snape’s son. For all we know he’ll grow a nose like his father and his hair will be filled with grease.” Harley laughed at her own joke.

“It’s not nice. What you’re saying.” you told her quietly. “The boy may get in serious trouble just for being Snape’s son. And his father doesn’t even try to make him feel safer in the school. Plus his hair are light brown, nothing like his father’s.”

“Do you wanna marry him maybe?” Harley snapped.

“What?”

“Well, if not, just shush, cause I’m trying to watch the game here. Can we do that? Or are you going to cheer for Slytherin now? Considering your new boyfriend?”

You were very annoyed but you didn’t say anything. You just sighed and turned to the game, your thoughts flying to Leith and the fact that you didn’t think he belonged to Slytherin. And - if he did belong there - maybe Slytherin wasn’t so bad after all.

                                                        ~o~

“Miss Y/l/n” Snape’s voice was bearly audible above your head, so you knew there was danger around. Well, you had seen it coming since you -well- your potion, was fluo pink and not light blue as it should be.

“Ye- yes Professor Snape?” 

“Why is your potion this colour? Are you visually impared?”

“N-no,sir.”

“Then, I take it you thought that your mind, can produce a better Potion than my instructions?”

“No Professor, I’m sorry, I-I got destructed around step 7, and then I lost it.” you admited.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “You mean, you know where you did wrong?” he asked a little bit surprised.

“Well, yeah. It’s clear you say just 2 unicorn hair and I accidentally put in 5, when I mixed the step with step 9, when you say 5 ozes of green mush.”

Snape was in awe and he had trouble hiding it. He decided to change the subject, to his advantage quickly.

“And what got you so destructed Miss Y/l/n? What is more important in your life right now, at my class?” 

Some Slytherin girls laughed at how red your face was starting to become.

“Um... I... I noticed something and... Well, I noticed that Felicia Nulis and Mason Graves, where bulling Leith Snape, again Professor. And what got me so destructed was the fact that you don’t stop them from doing so.” you said, your voice trembling a bit.

Snape’s expression was hard to read. “Five points from Gryffindor.” he then said and turned to leave.

“So, I get punished but these people harassing another kid get away with it, just because you don’t want to take points out of your own house?” the words slipped out of your mouth  before you had a chance to restrain them.

“Detention Miss Y/l/n. This Saturday. 8 o’ clock.”

Slytherins where laughing but you saw Leith genually sad about all these, lowering his gaze to his feet. 

As you stormed off the classroom the minuite the lesson ended, you heard someone calling your name.

“Yes?” you turned furiously to the sound of the voice.

There he was. Leith was standing awkwardly next to the door.

“Um, hi.” he said walking towards you.

“Hi.” 

“Thanks for... You know, what you said in class. Although I don’t want you getting in trouble for me.” he murmured.

You laughed. “Well, someone has to do it, I don’t see you talking back.”

He smiled. “Trust me. I tried. A lot. They just don’t get it. Gryffindors, bully me as well. That big kid.”

“Torrance Melbi?”

“That one. Then, Mason came next to me. I thought, good, he’s on my side we’re both in Slytherin. Well, let me tell you. It’s the first time I see an alliance between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin boy and that happened only so they cound... Well, hung me up a tall tree and leave me there, screaming for help.”

“What? What about, you know, your father.” you asked.

Leith gave you a sad smile again. “You know how he is. He tells me to man up, that he had to deal with similar stuff growing up and that if I focus on my studies time will fly.”

“That’s the worst pep talk I’ve ever heard.” you said and you both laughed.

That moment Mason Graves walked out of the classroom with three of his friends by his side.

“Well, well” he said. “Look what we have here... The happy couple of Hogwarts.”

That must have been funnier to them than to you because his friends burst out laughing.

“Go away Graves.” you said.

“Or what Y/l/n?”

“Leave her alone.” Leith said standing in front of you.

“Oh, little Leith is so brave.” a blond boy next to Mason mocked. “You weren’t so brave screaming on top of that tree, if I remember correctly.”

“Please get me down! I’ll tell my dad! I’ll tell Dumbledore!” Mason said in a shriek voice and they all laughed again. Then Mason pulled out his wand.

“You don’t deserve to be a Slytherin.” he said with a cold voice as he pointed his wand at Leith’s chest. 

You felt the air leaving your lungs. Being a muggleborn, you weren’t experienced with little hexes and stuff as witches and wizards that heard about them their whole life were.

Leith took a step back.

“Just leave me alone Graves. Why do I bother you so much?” he said in despare.

You then noticed Professor Snape. He stood by the door, not making himself noticable, not saying anything. Your blood started boiling in your veins. Why was he hesitating? Why wasn’t he standing up for his son damn it!

“You know, I always wanted to try this little hex...” you herad Mason say. “It - supposedly - makes your nose disappear. Imagine how funny that would be.”

“And how painfull to bring his nose back!” the blonde boy laughed again.

“P-please just - just--” Leith’s voice faded out.

“Pleeeease pleeeease” Mason mocked laughing. “Let’s see, if this works then.”

You had accepted the fact that Snape wan’t going to do anything about it. He looked paler than usual, and kind of.. lost. Like he was re-living a memmory.

Mason took a deep breath and  you took a decision.

The moment he opened his mouth, you pushed Leith to the side, snapped out your want and screamed: “Wingardium Leviosa!” since it was the only spell you’ve come to master so far.

Maybe it was the strength you used but Mason’s wand snapped out of his hand and his body slammed the wall, levitating a bit before falling, face first to the floor.

His friends were shocked and you and Leith burst out laughing. It was your turn to feel good now. Mason struggled to his feet, looking at you with a mix of emotions - fear, confusion and anger. Then Professor Snape emerged from the classroom making the Slytherins run away. 

Both you and Leith looked at him waiting for your penalty. To your surprise, he spoke with a -kind of- tender voice.

“Miss Y/l/n/. What you just did? We can.... overlook.”

“Professor I--”

“And about that detention. Let’s reconsider shall we? I expect more of you in class though.”

“Dad I--” Leith begun to say.

“Not now Mr Snape. You and Miss Y/l/n can go now.” 

You weren’t planing on sitting around questioning your good luck. All you cpuld thing of was about how you managed to escape detention with Snape, and that Leith was safe. 

“Let’s go.” he whispered to you and grabbed your arm. “Now that he’s in a good mood.” 

As you saw it, he didn’t need to whisper. Snape wasn’t paying any attention to you. His eyes were focused on something that was no longer there.

As you turned to leave you could swear you heard him murmur: “Take care of her son. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Girls like that.... are Lillies in a valley of dead grass. And I’m glad you’ll have your own. As I once had...” 

You turned your head and you saw a single tear escape his eyes before he regained control and desappeared inside the classroom.

You smiled and brushed it off, you were just an 11 year old after all. 

Only twelve years later, you understood what he meant, when he gave a toast in yours and Leith’s wedding, finally explaining himself about all these years. Leith’s mother wasn’t happy to hear about this, but you... you understood.

A/N: And there you have it! I did my best! I hope you like it, if not I’m sorry :( Feel free to send me requests I’ll do them as soon as I can!! I love you all thanks for all your support <3 Stay awesome! :D 

[youmightaswell]

Die!

My actual diary entries from 9/11

I’m very lucky in that I have kept a secret online diary since 2000. I have a record of every first date I’ve been on since then, every monumental happening in my life...

On 9/11 I remember heading to work in Midtown on the crosstown bus. I lived on 54th and 9th and worked on 42nd and 3rd. I was slightly late and remember how clear the sky was. I got there and the office was in chaos. A group of colleagues were huddled around an old boxy tv and explained that a plain just crashed into the WTC. (We had an office there!) I dropped my stuff at my desk--happy no one noticed I was late--and gathered with my friends. I saw the plane crash into the tower and my colleagues gasped. I figured it was a replay but no! Turns out this was the second plane. There was a second plane -- a second tower hit. 

As time wore on we knew the Pentagon was hit too and being in such a centrally located place on 42nd Street we were given the option of leaving or staying. I figured I’d head home and get through the Midtown streets quickly before any further danger descended closer. I recall being back on the crosstown bus and seeing smoke as I looked downtown. A stop before my own the bus went out of commission and I walked towards Ninth Avenue to my sixth floor walkup, dazed and confused. 

I began chronicling my thoughts in my online diary. (Several years later I would become the first fired blogger in NYC and it would ultimately launch my own PR company which I still run happily today. Lemons/lemonade, friendos.)

Here are those original diary entries from 2001:

Yeah, what Nostradamus said…

Thank you to all my well wishers. I am fine. I got to work and was told a plane crashed into the WTC due to traffic control problems. We went to the conference room and watched it on tv. We saw the 2nd plane crash live. We all knew at that point it was terrorism. We then watched the Pentagon go up in flames and saw Tower 1 go down. I work by the UN and next to the Chrysler Bldg. I went out into the sunshine in a daze, an eerie song of sirens being sung. On the bus we were in tears. All of us looking madly at each other for some sort of answer. Strangers yet related by common tragedy. For once we wanted to be close. I breathed in my fellow passengers thankfully.

Got home and turned on the news and watched the 2nd tower crumble live. It’s like watching a bad Stallone or Schwartzenhagger movie. It’s impossible to comprehend. Our phones work on and off. Cells are out completely.

I am alone. Everyone rushed off to call loved ones and to try desparately to get to them. I had no one to call. No one to rush to. I packed a bag—I’m not sure why. I laid down with my shoes on in front of the tv. The streets below are empty. All lower NYC is evacuated. There are so many dead, jobless, unable to reach their homes. Everyone is trapped. There is no route out–tunnels are closed, bridges likewise.

The only thing to do is walk. People are walking around in groups…far distances. The mayor has just alerted us to go North. That doesn’t give us much direction as where to go or what do to.

There are fighter planes in the sky. They are armed and ready to protect us. What does that mean exactly? There really is no protection, is there?

I’m wondering if I should go out and get batteries and water, canned goods. Should I rip sheets and boil water–opps that’s just for childbirthing, no?

I’m scared for me, for US. Now more than ever I fear having Bush be our President. He is too aggressive. He says he will retaliate. This is how wars are made, my friends. Bigger bombs, louder sirens…

My company does telecom. for trading floors and financial companies. We all have friends, associates in these 2 bldgs. A friend I grew up with worked on the 104th Floor. Luckily we just got word that she had gone down right before it happened to have a cigarette. How ironic one saved her life.

I grew up seeing the WTC in the skyline. It is gone now. A skyline permanently changed.

People saw people jumping from the buildings. There are people covered in blood. Ambulances are still racing down my street. There is a blood shortage it would seem. The TV keeps flashing we are under terrorist attack.

But today, are we alive as a nation? Something died in everyone today. New York, I thought could get no darker, is darker still.

How could WW3 start on such a sunny day?

***

And Darker Still

And darker still, a demonic night has for once come in day. Sirens are louder if one can believe their ears, when we assuredly cannot believe our eyes.

I lie around unable to leave the tv. It is my family and I believe I have begun to look like it; it like me. A blank screen with only one unblinking eye. New York is a once abused animal now abandoned. We shriek and gasp at any attempted touches, recoiling.

We are a city in the fetal position. Our fingertips still smarting from touching a massive burner.

The tv is an unmanageable child. I fell asleep earlier on the futon in front of it, feeling latchkey. I awoke a while later with my shirt slightly damp from sweat from dreams of sautéed mushroom clouds that I thought only those supposedly abducted by aliens reported.

I have always believed. Maybe now more so.

When it happened my bladder immediately acted up. it, my Achilles heel, swelled and needs to void constantly. I dare not take my medicine, too numb and almost thankfully for the abdomen of pain.

I’m not sure what to do. It is silly but I’m craving a peanut butter shake. But walking downstairs 6 flights and out in the actual air will make it all too real. It is easier pretending I am watching action movies in bed as a result of a sick day. I long for coloring books and crayons, cartoons and jello.

It’s just a flu, isn’t it? A flu that makes us feverish and a bit shaky but it’ll pass won’t it with the ease of a few aspirin?

Our nation is like me, it doesn’t appear to have the warm arms of a protecting mother to hold it.

Where do I go tomorrow? I have a list of chores but none seem to be worthwhile. Should one pick up their dry cleaning at a time like this? Does it seem worthwhile to mail a letter or buy some stamps? Does anything warrant standing in a subway depot waiting for a train that may not come? I really have no idea what I should do with myself.

I have spoken with friends but today is good day to speak to not-so-friends.

Now more than ever I long to run into someone’s arms. I have had a taste of the end of the world and I realize now more than ever that I will face it alone, in a sweat dampened shirt, aching bladder and slightly dirty feet.

***

There’s no K in WTC

OK. I’m now sick of the coverage. I’ve watched non-stop for two days. I cried at times. I’ve slept some. Earlier I smelled a horrible burning and got scared my bldg. was burning. It turns out it’s in the air. The wind is blowing and even though I’m 65 blocks away from site the smell is so strong I gagged. I quickly shut all the windows and sat on the floor. I need to be grounded, yet we’ve all learned that the ground is not the end-all for it can fall through in the blink of an eye.

Tomorrow I will try to go to work. There will be so many sad stories. I’m pretty sure I will cry at my desk. I am almost anxious to be back just to have some people around me. I have been completely alone for all these days now. I want to hear voices around me. I want to hear the rustle of steps.

I think I can’t handle it–the loneliness, the destruction. But inside we are all forced to handle it. “We will recover, I just don’t know how.”  It’s all so unstable. We could die at any moment. We could be tortured. We are all fundamentally unsafe. The ground has no contract to stay under our feet.

[chaz-targrin-gw2]

Targrin, Interlude: The Sidearm

(As promised, here’s the second half of this week’s pair of Targrin stories! This one’s about how Chaz got the pistol they use as an offhand weapon. I’ll likely share links to the Google Docs of these after I’ve posted all of them, so you can see the stories in their original formatting!)

NAVIGATION: <- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->

The Sidearm

1328AE, Doctor Maakinen’s Home, Rata Sum

(A day after the events of Targrin, Act 3: Scars)

Chaz shot up from the guest room bed with a startled grunt, taking heaving, shuddering breaths as they glanced around the darkened room. Another damn nightmare, nothing new there, they thought to themselves as they caught their breath. Bleary-eyed, they groped about for their glasses, hands still shaking.

Their ears flicked and their fur stood on end as they heard a low, grumbling sound from… somewhere in the room. “Mn… who… who’s there?!” they gasped, finally feeling their glasses and grasping at them desparately, putting them on with shaky paws.

No response, save for the grumbling, which was getting more ominous. The charr timidly got up, but stayed on their bed, leaning forwards and getting on their hands and knees, as they followed the source of the sound, which was steadily getting louder.

“I said who’s there?!” they barked, in a hushed, shaky tone. Still no response. “This isn’t funny, come on now.”

Shivering, they flicked their ears some more, listening. A clank, followed by a scratching sound, like metal dragging against stone. Anticipating the sound made it worse as they barely stifled a surprised yelp into a horrified squeak, not wanting to wake Doctor Maakinen, who was sleeping in the room across the hall. Looking for the source of the sound, they looked to the darkest corner of the room, and heard a slow grinding… before a pair of glowing, yellow eyes turned around and seemingly glared right at Chaz

The scream of terror immediately jerked Maakinen awake from her sleep. “…Chaz? Chaz, dear, are you okay?”

“HE’S HERE, MOM!” Chaz yelped, “STAY AWAY!”

Maakinen sounded confused, and increasingly worried “What? Who’s there? It’s not the Inquest is it?! Hang on, I’m coming!”

“NO, DON’T-” Before Chaz could finish their sentence, Maakinen charged into the room, and flicked the lights on. Maakinen was still in her sleepwear, holding a rather hefty-looking pistol.

“Where is he?!” Maakinen barked, “I’ll… “ She looked around the room, and her ear flicked as she heard the grinding sound. Both she and Chaz glanced over to the corner of the room, where a small, dome-shaped golem with two glowing yellow sensor crystals hovered about, came to a halt and looked up at the pair.

“Hello-Doctor-Maakinen. The-room-is-now-free-of-dander. Hello-guest-and-dander-source-Chaz-Tarbound. You-are-shedding-more-than-usual-today.”

Maakinen heaved a sigh of relief, lifting her finger off the trigger of the hefty pistol. “I am so sorry about that, I forgot to tell you the Dynamics boffins gave me a house-cleaning golem. He’s called Scrublord, and… are you okay?”

Chaz looked positively stunned as they saw Maakinen holding the gun. “I… you…” they buried their head in their hands, clearly embarassed. “Burn me, I am so sorry for waking you up at this hour, mom. I just… had a bad dream, I woke up, and saw… yellow eyes. I thought he’d come to get me.”

“Who, Scrublord?” Maakinen tilted her head. “I think this is the first time you- Oh. Ohhhh… you mean the Separatist who… eugh. “ She facepalmed. “I really should have told you about Scrublord ahead of time. C’mere, it’s okay.” The older asura climbed up onto the bed, sitting down beside Chaz, putting her gun aside and putting a hand on their shoulder. “It’s alright, progeny. You’re safe here.”

Chaz hiccuped a bit and sniffled, but nodded, smiling. “I guess it was kind of silly of me to assume that some lousy Separatist would know where I’d gone, huh?”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. I might not know my psychiatry, but I’m more than familiar with the way the mind can play tricks on a person, and I imagine yours isn’t in the best of states right now.”

“Yeah… Can I just say something, though?”

“Of course, dear, what is it?”

“You… Just, when I saw you come through the door holding that gun…”

“Oh, sorry if I startled you.”

“No, no, it’s just… I’m impressed. You heard me yelling, and your first instinct was to charge in to save the day, I… thanks, mom.”

“Nahhhh, it’s nothing, dear. I used to do that all the time when I was keeping you safe from the Inquest. Remember that one guy who came in like he wanted to ask you a few questions?”

“Oh yeah, and then I pointed out all the scalpels and stuff he had on him. Man, you went ballistic on his ass.”

“Figuratively and literally.”

Chaz looked down at the pistol on the bed. It was different from the one they’d seen Maakinen toting in the past, this one looked… sleeker, with a more curved grip. “Woah… since when did you have that gun? I always remembered you having that chunky glyphic number on standby for the Inquest.”

Maakinen grinned. “Oh, this?” She picked the gun up, holding it out for Chaz to see. “This is from about… three years back. Pact standard issue, I was allowed to hold onto mine once I returned home.”

“Ahh, I…” Chaz perked their ears up and looked back at Maakinen, eyes wide. “Wait. You were in the Pact?”

“Oh, I… might have neglected to tell you.” Maakinen chuckled nervously. “I was on the front lines out in Orr as a field medic. I guess I didn’t want you worrying about me while you were busy working with the Tar warband. I’m sorry, I should have said something sooner-”

Chaz gave their mom a pat on the back, smiling. “It’s alright, mom. I appreciate the concern. And I mean, you’re still here, so… Are you doing alright? Being a medic out on the front lines, you must have seen some awful stuff.”

“Oh yes, terrible, horrific things. Those Risen were something else, and the wounds they inflicted…” She shuddered. “I suppose it’s fortunate that I was stationed with Psychiatrist Aada, one of my krewemates. Between the two of us we were able to keep the other troops’ morale high, and she was able to help me keep it together when the nature of my work started to get too much for me to handle.”

Chaz listened intently to the story. “Aada’s the one you mentioned yesterday, yes?”

Maakinen nodded. “I still owe her for helping me out, so I’m going to be doing legwork for her, getting in touch with people from other races. Aada’s hoping to collaborate with psychiatrists across Tyria, to gain a better understanding of how each race handles the ailments of the mind.”

“So what ‘official’ name are the Curie Krewe gonna be rocking for this latest endeavour?”

“Well we’re still deciding on that part. After yesterday I thought about suggesting the name ‘Chaz Krewe’ after finding out what you’ve been through…”

“Mom…”

“Buuuut I don’t want to embarass you like that, so I’ll keep that one to myself. The other krewemates are workshopping some names right now. Aada suggested ‘Emayy’.”

“Emayy? That’s an interesting name.”

“It’s a phonetic spelling of the acronym MA - Short for Mental Ailments. We might go for MI - that’s Emeye - for Mental Illness instead…”

“How long do you expect it’ll take to decide on a name and found the krewe this time?”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” Maakinen snarked, before glancing about a bit and leaning in closer to whisper. “We’re just stalling while we wait for the next fiscal period to kick off so we can apply for more generous funding.”

“Right on,” Chaz nodded.

“Anything else you wanted to know about my work on the front lines?”

“Well… that gun… did you-”

“Several Risen. Got one of those bastards right between the eyes, that was satisfying.”

“Wow. That gun’s huge compared to you, I’m surprised your wrist isn’t all messed up with the kickback.”

“Well, I’ve a few tricks up my sleeve. See, this gun isn’t actually loaded. It’s more like a tool for me to focus illusory magic through. That said, it is fully functional.” She picked it up, and offered it to Chaz, grip first. “You want it? Looks like it’d fit your hands just fine”

“I-- what?” Chaz was blindsided. “Just like that?”

“I’d… been thinking about it for a while. Swords are more my style, you know that, but after what you told me yesterday, about the ambush… I just couldn’t bear to think of you going back out there without having something for your own defense.”

Chaz looked at the gun, unsure, but eventually they gently took it, and got a feel for its weight. “You know, not many moms would just up and give their kid a gun like that.”

“Well, not many asura moms have a fluffy progeny, eh dear?” Maakinen chuckled

“Point,” Chaz conceded. They set the gun to the side, and hugged Maakinen. “Thank you. I promise to only use it if I absolutely need to.”

“Of course. You always were extra cautious, even in the fahrar, if what your primus told me was right.”

Chaz chuckled. “I suppose that’s true.” A thought suddenly struck them, and they asked, “Hey, mom? When you were out in Orr… Did you happen to see any interesting-looking war machines?”

“As a matter of fact I did. Our camp was given a shipment of automated turrets for defense. Curious things, they looked all for the world as if Iron Legion had built them, save for one little difference.”

“Oh?” Chaz tilted their head. “What would that be?”

“Just underneath the barrels of the turrets…” Maakinen tried to visualise the turrets with her hands, pointing at an imagined spot, “There was a crystal array. These things were brilliant, they could lead moving targets and mowed down Risen with frightening accuracy. Almost like a fusion of charr might and… asura… precisionnnn…” she looked up at Chaz, a little smirk growing across her face. “Those were yours, weren’t they?”

The charr laughed, smiling sweetly and hugging their mom. “I’m just glad to know Tar warband’s weaponry made it onto the battlefield. A lot of work went into those, I mostly helped calibrate the crystals.”

Maakinen hugged Chaz back. “Now I’m doubly sorry I never told you that I was serving with the Pact!”

“Haha, it’s okay, mom, it’s okay. You can rest proud knowing your fluffy progeny was fighting alongside you, in a manner of speaking.”

“I suppose that’s true, dear,” Maakinen chuckled, yawning a bit. “…What hour is it, anyway? We should both try and get back to sleep, I’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow, and you, progeny, need all the rest you can get after what you’ve been through.”

“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try, mom,” Chaz nodded. “Sorry again for waking you up like that. I’ll try and remember about the cleaning golem next time.”

“I think the lil bugger needs a bit of re-programming and a change of sensor crystals, so as not to spook you from now on. What do you think, Scrublord?”

“Doctor-Maakinen. You-are-covered-in-dander.”

“Damn straight I am.”

[builder051]

Come to me now and rest your head part 9: Memorial Day (MCU Captain America fanfic)

This is part 9 of a 15-chapter fic about Bucky’s return and recovery, as told through a year’s worth of rough holidays. Not every chapter will be emeto, but all have some form of physical illness or mental health struggle that could be categorized as sickfic or whump.

We are in powers/no powers choose-your-own-adventure.

This is a remix of Wait for Tomorrow (now from Steve’s perspective).

Trigger warnings for vomiting and suicidal situations/suicide attempt.

____________________________________________________________________

The Friday before Memorial Day weekend, Steve walks through the door with the distinct feeling that something’s not right.  The doormat’s kind of askew, which, if it means Bucky’s been coming and going, is actually a good thing, but it feels like an indicator of issues deeper within.

There’s a plastic cup, still wet, in the sink like it’s been dropped.  Steve expects to see Bucky’s tired, anxious body slumped on the couch, but he’s not there.  It’s more unusual for him to spend time upstairs, but that’s where Steve checks next.

The bedroom door is closed, and that can’t be a good sign.  “Buck?” Steve calls quietly as he turns the knob and presses the door open.

Bucky’s standing between the bed and the window, this body visibly trembling, and there’s a gun in his hand, the muzzle lost in his hair.

“Buck,” Steve gasps quietly.  He half-reaches one hand out and steps forward, keeping the corner of the bed between them.

Bucky’s face looks grey.  His eyes are red and wet, his nose is running, and his lips glisten and twitch.

“Hey,” Steve says, turning his palms down to make a calming gesture.  “Hey…”

Bucky just blinks and swallows, his hand shaking on the gun’s trigger.

God, this is hard.  Sam’s given Steve a casual low-down on talking folks with PTSD down from self-harm situations.  Just try not to say anything triggering.  Steve’s still iffy on what Bucky’s triggers actually are, so he’s not sure he can say anything.  “Can, uh…?”

Steve takes a breath and starts again.  “Buck.  Not today.  Not today, ok?”

Bucky stares at him.  Shakes his head a fraction of an inch.  Looks like he’s going to pass out.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers.  “It…it’s bad today.  And that’s just, it just happens.  But that doesn’t mean it’sgonna be bad tomorrow.  It might not be any better, but you…there should at least be a chance to find out.”

He can hear Bucky breathing.  It sounds wet and cloggy and desparate.

“Buck…” Steve murmurs.

The gun tumbles from his hand.  Steve’s sprinting around the edge of the bed before it hits the floor. Bucky doesn’t look like he’s going to stay upright much longer, and Steve wraps him in his arms.

Bucky’s limp, and Steve just whispers the first thing he can think of.  “It’s ok.  You’re ok.”

The moment of silence seems interminable, but finally Bucky shudders against him in a heaving sob.

“I love you so much.”  It doesn’t matter that it’s the first time Steve’s said it out loud.  It only matters that he’s felt it for years, it’s been on the tip of his tongue since Bucky came back, and it’s about damn time he told Bucky because for fuck’s sake he deserves to know.

Bucky shuffles and mutters something into Steve’s henly.  Steve feels the vibrations more than he hears the words.

“Hm?”  He moves his shoulder so Bucky’s mouth isn’t covered.

Bucky stutters, swallows, and softly wallops Steve with his right hand before he starts gagging.

“Come on,” Steve encourages, beyond caring that there’s already vomit on his shoulder.  He gets Bucky into the bathroom and holds his hand as he heaves.  He’s shaking and sputtering and coughing long after he’s expelled everything in his stomach, and Steve does his best to whisper that it’s ok and alright and he’s safe…

Bucky collapses into Steve’s chest, and Steve just holds him, running fingers through his hair and breathing deeply, trying to be the rock Bucky so plainly needs.

Then he starts apologizing.  Talking makes Bucky cough, but he chokes out “I’m sorry,” until he’s just crying, sobbing, wracking his body into Steve, and yanking at his own hair.

“Breathe,” Steve reminds him, trying not to let tears fall from his own eyes.  He lays his fingers on the outside of Bucky’s fist and feels a slight shift in the cadence of his inhales and exhales.  “Good.  Keep breathing.”

Once Bucky’s dissolved into tremors, Steve sees to getting him settled.  It’s clear Bucky feels insurmountably sick, and his skin seems hot to Steve.  Another fever is the last thing Bucky needs.

Steve cleans him up and supports Bucky to bed.  He strips him of his jeans and finally gazes into his glistening eyes.  Bucky starts to cry again, and Steve holds him until Bucky sways under his grip, and Steve gets him lying down.

“Give me one second,” Steve says, bolting around the bed to pick up the gun that he’s all but forgotten about.  He secures it in the garage where hopefully Bucky won’t look for it before Steve can think of a way to get rid of it.  Then he calls Sam.  Mostly to reassure himself.  Also because they’re out of sports drinks.  Steve doesn’t tell Sam any details, other than that Bucky’s sick and dehydrated and Steve could use some backup.

Back in the bedroom, Bucky’s dry heaving again, and Steve tries to calm him down.  He changes into pajamas and slides into bed to soothe Bucky until Sam arrives.

“Are…are you g-gonna t-tell…?”  Bucky whispers through his spasming jaw.  

God, how to even start…  “I…I don’t want to have to tell anyone,” Steve says.  His voice quivers as he grapples with the maelstrom of emotion he simultaneously wants to hide from and share with Bucky. “Buck, you can’t…I just love you so much.”

“Love you t-too…” Bucky whispers through a sob.

Steve strokes his arm and tries to tell him it’s going to be ok.  This time, though, Steve’s a little less sure.

When Sam arrives with provisions, Steve leaves Bucky in bed and heads downstairs to meet him.  He barely elaborates when Sam asks about Bucky, saying he’s panicky and nauseous, which he is, among other things.  Sam nods, semi-relates in his amazingly calm demeanor, and advises Gatorade.  Steve takes the beverage upstairs as Sam settles on the couch to flip channels.

Bucky gets about a half cup of fluid into his system before his body threatens mutiny again.  Steve brings him the trash can, and Bucky gags, but miraculously manages to keep everything down.

At least he does until a few hours later, when he’s waking from a nightmare.  Steve jerks out of his own doze when Bucky accidentally hits him in the face, and he’s still struggling into consciousness when Bucky vomits Gatorade all over the bed and the trash can.

Sam appears, and helpfully gets Bucky back into the bathroom while Steve ascertains that his nose isn’t broken, it just smarts.

Steve has to count Bucky off to get him to breathe, then hold him until he settles.  He finally gets Bucky to consent to have his temperature taken, and it’s no surprise that the pesky fever is back to do more damage.

Sam’s presence, though awkward in such a tender moment, is helpful.  He starts changing the sheets while Steve sets Bucky up in the shower.  The routine’s surprisingly efficient, and within the hour, they’re gathered at the kitchen table drinking tea and munching toast.

They end up playing Uno until 2am when Bucky starts to slouch and slide into sleep right there at the table.

The first time Bucky’s anxiety pushes him to hurt himself, he’s glad he has Steve there to remind him that if he does it, he’s not the only one who will regret it.

[kpop--fics]

Rainy day - Park Jimin & Jeon Jungkook smut

Word count: 1.246

---

You were all alone in your apartment today. Your roommate had decided to go out for the day, so there you were, on your bed binge watching your favourite drama for the fifth time.

Soon enough, you were bored and thought about calling someone over. “Who would be able to come over on this short notice?” You asked nobody in particular, knowing the answer already. You settled on calling your two best friends. One of them, Park Jimin, has been friends with you since kindergarten. The other one, Jeon Jungkook, had met you in middle school. You always had way more guy friends, but you didn’t really mind.

Calling the latter, you sat on your couch waiting for him to pick up his damn phone. “Hello?” Sounded from the other side. “Jungkookie? Are you busy right now? I’m pretty damn bored.” You stated, not even bothering beating around the bush. There was a short silence, but soon Kookie’s voice could be heard again.

“I’m currently shopping for groceries. I’ll be able to get at your place in half an hour, is that okay?” He asked hesitantly. “Yeah sure! See you in a bit then!” You reacted and hung up the phone.

Well, he wasn’t coming anytime soon, what a bummer. Just when you thought about calling Jimin, your doorbell rang. “Who could that be?” You asked out loud when you opened the door. “Just me!” A smiling Jimin said. “… Can I come in?” He asked when you still stood there, mouth agape. “Sure… are you a mind reader or something? I was just about to call you...” You mumbled while the guy hang up his coat. All you could hear from his direction was a soft humming.

“So, what do you want to do?” You asked Jimin, who sat already on your couch. “I have an idea! How about baking a cake?” He said happily. You nodded and headed to the kitchen with Jimin trailing behind you.

“Oh, it’s raining…” You noticed, entranced by the rhythmic ticking on your window. “Y/n? Are you there?” Jimin waved a hand in front of your face. “Right, a cake…” You remembered while the guy just cackled at your silliness.

Sure enough, about twenty minutes later, you pushed the cake in the oven. “That was fun!” Jimin said enthusiastically. You giggled, you loved his happy side. You wondered if there ever was a time where he was not happy.

Again, a doorbell was heard. “I’ll get it!” Jimin said and rushed to the door. “Jungkookie?” He questioned when he had opened the door completely. “Oh, hi Jimin!” Jungkook said surprised, he didn’t expect him to be here already. “Yah, where is the hyung?” The older guy shouted, chasing after the younger one.

They both collided and fell on the floor. “Oh, you’re all wet…” Jimin said while looking at the clothes the other one was wearing. Realising what he just said, he blushed. Jungkook however smirked and turned, so that he was above his hyung now. “I was waiting for you to say that sentence, you know.” He whispered.

“Well, you can’t stay in that, you’ll catch a cold. You should get them off.” Jimin said, regaining his composure. While he said this, he grinned at Jungkook. Now it was the younger’s time to blush. He started unbuttoning his shirt, which was on the floor in a matter of seconds. He was just about to loosen his belt when you walked in.

“Jungkook?” You questioned. “Y/N!” He practically screamed in despair. “Relax, it’s fine.” Jimin said with a low and smooth voice. You had never seen this side of him before, but it’s not like you minded.

“While we’re at it, let’s get rid of all unnecessary pieces of clothing.” You said in a husky voice, and walked over to Jungkook. He looked fully shocked at first, but you saw him easing into your touch. Soon enough, Jungkook only had his underwear on and a hard erection could be seen through his black boxers.

“That’s really nice.” Jimin growled, taking steps toward you. He started leaving hickeys on your neck, starting at your jawline and slowly moving down, tugging at your hair while doing so. “Ah, baby, that’s it…” He mumbled, making you already wet inside your panties.

Jungkook had been watching you two and took his member out of his boxers and started jacking off to you two. “Oh, is someone desparate to join?” You asked with a grin, moving over to Jungkook. “Hey, Y/n…” He said softly while ripping your shirt. “I can’t take this any longer, I need something better than my hand.” He stated, pushing you to your knees.

While you took his length into your mouth, Jimin continued to take your clothes off. He slid your pants and your panties at the same time at a slow pace down to your feet, where you kicked them off quickly. The older boy positioned himself under you and began attacking your heat with his tongue. “Ah, Jiminie…” He grinned, knowing damn well what his tongue could do to you. He shamelessly added a finger in the mix which made you moan out loud.

“Y/n! Ah that felt good…” Jungkook was still in a state of bliss. He started trusting into your mouth. Slowly at first, but he got more rough with the second. “Jungkook…” Was all you were able to mutter. The vibrations of your voice only made him feel more pleasured and he was breathing heavily while he threw his head back.

Meanwhile, Jimin was getting annoyed by lack of attention, so he added another two fingers in between your folds, which had you screaming in thrill. “Enjoying that, little princess?” He questioned. When you didn’t react, he scraped his teeth gently at your sensitive skin. “Bad girl. You shouldn’t ignore your oppa, you know.” He got back to your clit and starting sucking it. Hard.

“I’m… close…” You heard coming from Jungkook’s mouth. Jimin was almost at his climax as well, considering he had been palming himself through this boxers while he was eating you out.

After a few quick slides of Jimin’s tongue, you reached yours first and came all over his tongue. You were moaning so hard, it sent vibrations all the way up to the base of the younger’s cock.

That was his absolute limit, and he screamed your name while releasing his seed inside your throat. You struggled a bit, but managed to swallow all of his load. He kept thrusting in your mouth a few times, riding out his high completely.

Soon after all Jungkook’s moaning, Jimin was sent over the edge, turned on more than even only by the sound that came out of the younger’s mouth.

You stood up from your position of straddling Jimin’s face and laid on the ground, totally exhausted. “I didn’t see this coming when I called you two over.” You stated. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a glance and both bursted out laughing.

“Poor choice of words, Y/n.” Kookie said while he was clutching his stomach. Jimin cleared his throat and spoke up. “So, what do we do now?” He asked you two. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I have plenty of time left.” You said with a smirk. You walked away to your bedroom, the boys following behind you as puppies.

You didn’t have anything planned, but what you did know was that you wouldn’t get much sleep that night.

[taeguiary-blog]

ice thick tension, paper thin promises

pairing: jeon jeongguk | park jimin

genre: fluffy angst??? ft. sexual tension

word count: 2,239

prologue

It was true that Jeon Jeongguk was the poster child for the cause of playboys around the nation.

He wouldn’t deny it, truth be told he would probably fist bump the closest person near him at the statement.

His social media screamed of horny desperation, but somehow everyone found it endearing and attractive. After all, theirs almost matched the enchanting layout through and through.

Everyone except a certain pink haired boy that worked at the cupcake shop.

There were only a few bulletpoints and pointers that Jeongguk would react to in pure spite. Some of them being when Seokjin would tell him to wash the dishes, people never buying free beer that actually has flavor at parties, or when his marathon of his favorite anime is interrupted by commercials. But there was one written in bold letter in king size sharipe: he hated not getting what he wanted.

It wasn’t exactly a secret either, Jeongguk knew how to strut his stuff around every single person, whether it would be pulling back or overcompensating by miles to win over his catch of the week. And every time he had the same outline to follow to win them over.

‘Always act like you're interested’

That wasn’t exactly hard to fake for the boy, he was interested, just not in the way some people would think. Jeongguk was ties free, no strings attatched, you would get two or three nights at best before he deletes your number from his contacts and forgets your name. He was more intterested in the physical aspect rather than the emotional front he had to carefully stitch together to win them over.

‘Ask them on a date, but always ask what they want to do’

Sure Jeongguk was heartless, but he knew when and where manners came into play and if he had to use them to get what he needed, so be it. He would talk to them a couple times, message back and forth to gather what the certain person of interest was like and what they were into before he would even ask about the date.

Sure he could get what he wanted without it, but the planned event was just for more brownie points a good measure to make sure everything go to as planned.

‘Bat your eyes, lick your lips, and smile when needed’

Flirting came naturally, but there were some things he just had to force out of himself to get where he needed to be.

Smiling. That was difficult for Mr.Sex on Wheels. Smirking, no problem, he quickly became a professional of the smug expressions and eyebrow lifts. Genuinely smiling, that was something he struggled with. There are only two people in the world that can bring that smile out of him and see him as a genuine kid. But he can still pass by with the pearly whites where it qualifies.

And after the date we all know what happens next.

‘Make them want to stay’

They always do.

He doesn't even have to try.

They all know what he is like but each one has a certain hope that this time he will be different with them, that he finally changed. And he hates to let them down (he actually couldn’t care less) but he has to let them go at some point. Some last longer than others, but all have the same fretful outcome.

‘Pick the next candidate’

And luckily, Jeongguk has recently been scouting around since lunch.

Like most people at the campus, Jeongguk would walk in the closest restaurant they could get to without a full house. And when Jeongguk stumbles into the cupcake shop and spotted the backside of the boy with the pink mop of hair, he knew it couldn’t be a coicidence. There was no such thing as coincidences in his book, just fate. Fate of his physical desire and want.

He quickly strutted into the line and waited patiently for his time to shine. That smile. Pink mop had a good smile he came to realize. He would hand each and every cupcake over the counter sporting a huge grin, waving the customers goodbye. And it didn’t disappear when their back turned around and walked out the door, he would continue to hum happily to himself as he waited for the next person to be ready and order. Jeongguk would feel bad if he had the physical capability to do so, a few of his wires were crossed and cut in the emotions department. He seemed like a sweet boy, Jeongguk knew how to scurry around those, fuel their hopes for true love and someone to go with on picnics at midnight and rose petals leading to the bedroom on Valentine’s day. He has done it all, nothing is hard to accomplish if you have done it five times over.

This boy would be no different, he could see it in the way he carried himself. His shoulders were stocked high, but shaking with force to keep them up and not let them shrink into the rest of his body. His chin, held up with his fist on breaks where he wanted to let his forhead fall against the chilly marble. He could see it in the way he bit his lip, a soft crease barely forming between his eyebrows when he messed up the icing on the way from the shelf to the plate or accidentally returning the wrong amount of change.

He would be exceptionally easy.

“May I take your order?” Jeongguk snapped out of his train of thought and noticed the two people in front of him was now a empty space far too away from that boy behind the counter.

“Uh, yes actually, I would like that cupcake right there,” He pointed at the chocolate cupcake covered in red sprinkles through the glass as the pink haired boy put on a new pair of gloves. Jeongguk ran his fingers through his raven hair, smirking slightly.

“Sure thing, will that be all?” He slid open the glass and placed the cupcake on a small plastic plate with a purple napkin folded neatly in his hand to place under the plate.

“No, actually, I thought the name of the cute boy that is giving me my cupcake would complete my order.”

Jimin looked up, smiling faltering slightly as he raised his brows, tapping a circle pinned onto his sweater. “It’s right there, in fancy lettering and all.” He chuckled, hiding the small film of awkwardness in the air. Jeongguk noticed as he switched his balance over to his right foot, scratching the back of his head.

Jimin wasn’t used to getting compliments from random boys walking into his shop, no one usually spared him a glance. Counting himself lucky if he would get one smile in return at the end of his shift.

’Park Jimin' The name suited him nicely enough. “What a nice name,” Realization suddenly sparked in his irises, he brought his hands to his sides and clutched to the fabric of his the apron tied around his waist.

There it was.

His smile was wavering, trying to stay on his face even though it hasn’t wanted to be there since he saw Jeon Jeongguk’s face.

“Yeah, thanks, so if that is all your total will be—" This would be fun, Jeongguk barely ever got these types of toys anymore. The ones who wanted to fall head over heels, but know they could never with anything attatched to the name Jeon Jeongguk.

“You think you could write your number on that napkin?” That’s it, the smile was gone.

“Actually, I don’t think that is a good idea, so if you want your cupcake, that will be all thank you. Please, enjoy the rest of your day.”

Guarded and hard to get, Jeongguk couldn’t help but be grateful for the fact he walked through the glass doors today of all days. He was in need of something different from time to time, he wasn’t the only one wasting their time with a relationship either. While the others were busy falling in love, he was forcing himself to act like he was, and that could get tiring on a grumpy day. He cleared his throat, barely letting his tongue touch the the edge of his lips as he ran it across them, “Are you sure, Jimin? I would love to talk to you sometime.”

“Listen, that is nice of you to say, I am flattered really, but could you please pay and leave, there are other people behind you waiting.”

There wasn’t, Jimin just wanted him gone and Taehyung was around back, far away from saving his ass. Today was Wednesday which meant he was sorting supplies and when he has his headphones in to pass the time, he makes sure he can’t hear anything to distract him. It wasn’t his falt he got distracted by the birds chirping last time, they shouldn’t use their sign as a perch anyway.

Park Jimin was screwed. Majorly, royally screwed. How was he supposed to get rid of someone like that?

He wasn’t going to lie, Jeon Jeongguk was attractive, anyone would say that. But Jimin has come to the fact that someone that attractive isn’t exactly relationship material and he wasn’t setting himself up for a disaster that would crash and burn a week later. Jeongguk looked over his shouder huffing lightly, “I don’t see anyone, babe.” His cheeks flushed, tinting to a dusty pink from rose petals, ears slowly following in their footsteps.

“Don’t call me that, just take the cupcake and leave, you don’t even have to pay, just please leave.”

He really wanted the bastard to pay for the damn cupcake but he was becoming desparate. He didn’t know what to do anymore and he was quickly running out of options before he ran in the bathrooms and his from the boy.

“Who are you calling babe? The only person I see here beside you and me is Jimin. And Jimin only allows me to call him cute shit like that. So that brings me to my next question I am dying to have you answer for me, who are you?”

Bless everything holy in the name of Kim Taehyung. Jimin sighed, leting his shoulders fall from their programmed position, blowing a strand of hair away from his line of vision.

“Excuse me?"

Taehyung knew he was, everyone did. He wasn't oblivious to campus gossip or the frat parties that clogged study schedules, he just wanted Jimin to stay safe from that boy's radar.

"Jimin, you don't know who I am?"

Of course he did, Jimin crossed paths with him a few times in the dance studio practicing for upcoming competitions or when he needed a stress releaser.

Taehyung had blowjobs.

Jimin had dance.

"I'm sorry, should I know you?"

He hated it, hated the saliva pooling in his mouth, wanting to swallow the feeling of guilt off his taste buds. He wanted to look anywhere but into the set of sparkling eyes, hell, he wanted to crawl under the counter and have Taehyung get rid of the dashing boy. And he was all for it, he was ready to get on his hands and knees and call it a day but there was one nagging voice in the back of his mind. The nagging voice is currently three feet in front of him babbling and had really good hair, but it is in the back of his mind nonetheless.

"So, what about it, Jimin?"

"No, no fucking way, Jeon. Jimin, I swear to god—"

Apparently the nagging wasn't so important to actually listen to...

"I knew that you knew me, Taehyung. Yoongi says hello by the way." Jeongguk winks as the Almighty Taehyung's shoulder suddenly buckle into his chest.

"I change my mind, do it, Chim."

He looked back and forth at his best friend and the current pain (though attractive) in the ass he is currently having to deal with until his lunch shift is over. He glanced at the clock above Jeongguk's head to see if he could run back to classes, but once again, the world hated his existence and he had fifteen minutes left.

"What am I doing exactly?"

Jeongguk chuckled as he placed his hand on Jimin's arm. "You really don't like listening to me, do you?" Jimin shrugged off the firm grip on his shoulder, furrowing his brow.

"No, not really, but I would at least like to do what I am getting myself into with you."

"Oh, you're getting into everything, good luck, babe. I got to get going, your friend over there can explain it to you. Have a nice day, Park Jimin. I can't wait to see you again."

And with that, those broad shoulder quickly turned around in his Timberlands and walked out the same door he waltzed into earlier. Jimin was completely sure he was on a mission to ruin his life.

And Jimin was correct.

Jeon Jeongguk was going to get Park Jimin on his leash no matter if he went down kicking and screaming. And as soon as he started running,he was going to let go of it and wait for him to crash and burn.

"Would you mind telling me what just happened and who the fuck is Yoongi?"

"What's happening is your going to break that dicktwitch's heart to pieces.”