#I could go on such a long rant rn but honestly I don’t have the strength to

[bassforte]

Bass is both such a niche but substantial character to the Mega Man franchise and it actually drives me insane.

Like upon his release Capcom was really trying to hype Classic Bass up story wise to make him a good Mega Man foil.

….but on the flip side to current time I still recall when Capcom did a trivia pre-game for Mega Man’s 30th anniversary livestream and all the contestants there could answer who each character was except Bass.

And this made highschooler me sad that day :,)

[malachitezmeyka]

I’m so tired

[ikkesola]

I’m having a lot of thoughts right now about the new episode and none of them are positive.

Firstly, I’ve made it known on my page that I’m a multi-shipper. I like both buddie and bucktommy but given the way this breakup was written I’m not feeling hopeful. It feels like a very bitter ending that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. It was always an option that they’d break up and I knew that going into it because unfortunately this is just how it goes but that breakup felt like the biggest disservice, like a slap in the face because it just came off as completely biphobic (the post ep interviews just made this 10 times worse) and ooc. It’s also the fact that Lou Ferrigno Jr had to put up with all that nonsense for no fucking reason. I as a tevan shipper am devastated but I also feel for Lou because he seemed to really love the role and was completely blindsided by this fucking crap. I could talk for days about how fucking shit Oliver’s interview was but I don’t feel like it so I’ll just say from the bottom of my heart absolutely fuck that biphobic rhetoric.

Secondly, as a buddie shipper, that end scene doesn’t feel like the win that it feels like for other buddie shippers for multiple reasons. 1. Neither are ready for any kind of relationship and idk if that scene will end with them sleeping together but let’s just say it does, that would also feel like a massive slap in the face because they would’ve had the chance to make such a beautiful storyline between Buck and Eddie but this one would be so cheap and flat. 2. Oliver’s interview where he says ‘let Buck fuck’. If they do in fact ‘let Buck fuck’ once it would be a slap in the face for shippers because honestly what would’ve been the fucking point?

Thirdly and finally before I stop ranting, the reactions to this have just shown me even further that people don’t care as long as Buck and Eddie are together. They don’t care that it would be fucking crap way for buddie to be canon. I guess as long as there’s two hot men kissing on the tv screen nobody gives a fuck about authenticity or representation :/

So many thoughts and feelings rn but I will say that as a multi-shipper I feel no fucking hope about any of my favourite ships right now lmao.

[f0point5]

You know, I love Seb (he’s the person who got me into F1) and I respect Lewis and his accomplishments but one thing I’ll never forgive them (and a lot of the older drivers, most already retired now) for is how they treated Max when he came into F1.

Yes, he might have been their rival but he was also a teenager, a literal child and gosh… I know Max probably doesn’t really care anymore but I still hurt for him sometimes.

Especially when you consider that he was the one paving the way for his generation. When Charles and Lando and George and everyone else came up a few years later they were welcomed as the youth, the future of the sport. Older drivers talking about their talent and how great it is to see them come up.

Max didn’t get that. He got shouts of “too young”, “too reckless”, “too… too much”.

So no, to me the only real grid dad (or maybe grid uncle is more fitting, idk) will be Fernando Alonso who said that some people are simply ready earlier than others and that Max should be judged on his performance in the races, not his age (paraphrased).

Fernando who has been an idol a lot of the younger generation growing up but also exchanged helmets with Oscar and Zhou, joked with Lando on instagram, talks Le Mans with Max and probably many more moments I’m forgetting about rn.

THIS.

Honestly, I don’t really get the Seb hype. He just has never given me good vibes. I didn’t watch during the RB days so maybe if I’d seen his golden era I’d have gotten attached but he has just always seemed…not likeable. Clearly a very driven, straightforward, intelligent guy, but something about him doesn’t sit well with me. Anyway rant over.

I’m not even going to talk about LH because…par for the course.

Yes, they were all mean to him. As grown men, too, how are you not absolutely embarrassed?! I get that he’s a kid and maybe you don’t want to hang out with him or confront the fact that you’re not the hotshots anymore but omg it’s a CHILD. (And Seb who made a bit of a meal out of being a bullying victim as a kid…I see you.)

No one else of Max’s generation would have survived the way they treated him, I stand by that. They all needed the support they got, and Max had none of it from his peers. I can’t see Max being the type who cared per se, because he was probably already used to being…not ostracised, but like…observed? And also because of how he grew up I don’t think anyone’s words could rattle him. But even if he didn’t care the grown men should have known better.

If I were Max I’d still be laughing about how bitter I made men in their 30s. Like “I couldn’t grow facial hair and y’all were running scared”. But I still think it must have been a pretty lonely few years until others his age started catching up.

I think Max was really lucky to have such a tight team (Christian, Helmut, Jos, Ray, GP) around him to insulate him a bit and stop him getting pushed around but the way these men tried it. (Toto I’m looking at your for the Jos phonecall.)

Yeah Fernando is the only one who I think was ready to embrace the new frontier as it were. But he is just kind of like that. I feel like he doesn’t feel his age is the disadvantage that most do, and that’s why he’s not so afraid of younger drivers. Like, his relationship with Max, Carlos, lando, George (nye buddies lol) and Zhou (literally just today saw a quote of him talking about how nice Alonso was to him, even Lance, he treats them as much as peers as he does his own generation, it’s cute.

Also, this is kinda random but I swear Nico and Max were kind of friendly in the early years? Max has known Nico a long time, despite the age difference (he said he remembered glasses Nico used to wear at like 7, and Nico once went out with his mum?), Nico was on the jet with Max on his birthday in…2017? And I think there’s a picture of Max having flown with some guys (including both Nicos in 2016) and for some reason I’ve always had the idea that Hulkenberg was his link to that whole crew? (Idk if this whole friendship is a headcanon but for some reason I feel like these two are/were kinda connected)

But yeah, agree. Grown men acting like little bitches. That generation I think was the last generation with real bitterness between the drivers, though. Idk you wouldn’t catch me being a jerk to a kid but I’ve never been terrified of a kid before so 🤷‍♀️

[sophsicle]

hi soph, i‘m writing this just because i feel like you oftentimes feel as if you owe anyone an update? i saw ur post rn and i wanted to tell you that you.do.not.owe.us.an.update, it‘s not as if anyone is paying you for your work on ao3, or as if you have some type of obligation, if you wanted to you could take a 3 month long hiatus and still no one would get to tell you „hey when’s the update coming!! hurry up!!“ that’s fucked up and i hope you realise that you‘re worth more than you put out on the internet, you don’t owe anyone SHIT

first and foremost you should be writing when YOU feel like it and when YOU are inspired and motivated to

sorry for the rant ❤️❤️

Thank you this is very nice!

Honestly, it doesn't bother me usually when people either ask for updates here or if they comment on the fic they like and say "update when?" because cool, it's nice that you're invested! it means a lot that you care! it's just when they're going into other fics to be like "why not update something else?" that it starts to feel kind of shitty.

and i DO get it. really i do. i am a feelings writer not a planner and so dealing with that as a reader i can imagine is annoying cause like. where is the schedule? what are we doing here? it is truly based on the whims of my tiny scatter brained heart. and i really do want to try and update as consistently as possible because i know it gets hard to follow a story if there are month gaps between chapters.

BUT also. im just having fun y'know? and i feel a little bit like people are forgetting the fun silly goofiness of this space

[mazzystar24]

I’m respectfully about to lose my mind at some of the fandom rn with the way buddie shippers are being treated… It’s like no one understands the whole point of shipping a couple is to want them to be together, so duh if something happens that could potentially lead to that pairing they’re going to get excited and theorize? Yes it’s absolutely important for Buck to explore his sexuality outside of buddie but the way people are trying to say that buddie shippers are homophobic for wanting endgame buddie….. when buddie is literally a queer ship? it doesn’t make any sense to me as a queer person myself because it’s like- y’all do realize that buck dating eddie would in fact mean that he is still bisexual, and that people have wanted thst for years, so A) why are we shocked and appalled at buddie shippers for being happy that they are one step closer to endgame buddie, B) why are we calling people homophobic or biphobic when they are quite literally shipping two men together, C) why are we all acting as if buddie endgame hasn’t been simmering just under the surface for YEARS and that if they were going to give us buddie, then thag means buck and eddie would both have to come oit as queer…

I’ve seen so many prominent blogs in the community who have made posts like “buck’s bisexuality has nothing to do with buddie and you are a horrible human for even insinuating that” and so many people are agreeing??? And not to mention the fact that now these same people are trying to villainize and trash on Eddie when in all honesty Buck’s behavior in 7x04 was NOT okay- physically harming someone because they’re not giving you attention is never okay (and i’m saying this as someone whi ADORES Buck, he still needs to be held accountable.)

It just reads very icky to me that so many people are screaming “bi pride” but then spewing all of this vitriol over a ship that would fit within Buck’s bisexuality…

It worries me that the writers are going to see this negativity from people and they’re going to just completely back-burner Eddie’s character in favor of Buck and it disappoints me because even outside of buddie, a major tv show portraying a repressed gay poc with religious and family trauma would be EQUALLY as powerful as Bi Buck is……

but i guess that’s just people only caring about the queer storylines when it’s about a white man since these are also the people acting like Hen and Karen or Michael and David haven’t been there the whole time

but that’s just me i guess….

I’m bullet pointing not to be curt by the way just because I prefer addressing part by part🫶

1. Agreed like this fandom was relatively peaceful then BAM it fully shifted overnight like in the words of Taylor swift THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS

2. Yesss exactly like I’m very much a dont yuck someone else’s yum type of person so like even ships I don’t like I’ll be like okay respect 🫡 enjoy your fandom space love that for you AS LONG AS THEYRE RESPECTFUL TOO and I’m not gonna lie to you I see the primary source of negativity and stuff in the fandom be people who legit never watched anything other than the bucktommy related content (which I kinda have a whole other rant about but I don’t wanna give you miles and miles to read in one ask)

3. Yes to that 100% - buddie is a queer ship the cognitive dissonance it takes to call someone homophobic for shipping them is honestly fascinating atp, Buck is bi canonically now and y’all do realise that who he’s with or if he’s single even doesn’t take away from that right??? Like the rep is THERE and will always be THERE

4. You worded it a bit weird but I got what you meant (I hope) so anyone who didn’t may require a little clarification, the sentiment of bucks bisexuality being separate from buddie I think is 1000% correct and I agree wholeheartedly that a persons sexuality and their journey shouldn’t be just about their love interests but about themselves as a person, the issue people are taking is that 1. The people saying this are saying it on every buddie post even when the same blogs posting it have 177283 posts talking about buck as an individual and as a bisexual man outside of buddie and bucktommy, so it’s sort of become a weaponised statement if that makes sense 2. The buddie shippers are the ones who have been advocating so hard for the show to give us canon bi buck like that’s just fact no one can deny so to the og fans who’ve been here for YEARS (I’ve only started like 2023 ish so I’m not counting myself there) this must be such a total slap in the face to be receiving so much hate now

5. Oh yeah the Eddie bashers can personally come fight me

6. If I’m 100% honest I choose to interpret the basketball injury as being mostly accidental like I think he got too into it and forgot himself and his own force for a second rather than intentionally hurt Eddie, like it so happens in sports, I think it’s like just the after guilt that made him question himself and his motives, idk that may just be me denying canon because it just felt too out of character for me to believe

7. I think the fake bi pride stuff also irks me BAD like some of these people are looking for very surface level superficial representation and if you don’t push for more and more substantial and meaningful representation then you’re gonna get constant variations of the same exact thing and these are also the same people ignoring every other queer character in 911 which is just🙃

8. Idk how much the writers take fandom into account but I constantly say like if they were to listen to fandom they’d go the route they know people wanted for years

9. YES about Eddie’s character like I made a whole post about gay and comphet Eddie and how meaningful it would be because it’s just so so unique and unprecedented

10.HAHSKDK THE CROSSED OUT PART IS WHAT I JUST SAID BUT I DIDNT READ IT GAJSKDKFM

[starsinkpop]

what do you think if theres blogs that are not only deeply obsessing with finding out ateez members exact fs but they also discussing their potential body parts. I tried telling them how weird and gross it was of them but they tell me I was taking it too far. what the fuck? am sorry but this kpop tarot thing is what is taking ppls obsession with idols fs too far. its bordering on creepy rn and its not just one blog theres like several of them that mainly focus on idols fs.

some blogs be claiming they dont dig too much but then they still think it ok to even discuss idols sexuality or some other aspect of their personal life.

i’m not really on that side of tumblr or social media so i can’t really say much about it. i have clear boundaries. im fine with certain readings about ateez’s fs but i wouldn’t do more readings than i have online right now. we already know more than enough. i keep getting a crazy amount of asks in my inbox of people trying to fit especially san’s fs aspects. i’m deleting all of them because none of those people reading my stuff and also myself will be their fs. some people really need to touch some grass. when i see certain physical traits in a reading i point them out, however i focus on personality only. what’s bothering me is how almost everyone on here in my inbox assumes that the members are straight. making their fs a girl at all times. we don’t know their sexuality and it’s quite frankly none of our business. we don’t know if their straight or part of the lgbtq+ community. this is why i keep my readings gender neutral because we don’t know shit.

now in general i don’t want to spread any negativity because life itself is already a big struggle for most of us. i want my blog to be a place where people could just entertain themselves for a bit and. so i won’t say anything about other readers because i honestly just can’t. like i said, im not on that side of tumblr. i get your point but you have to remember you’re telling me this, im a kpop (well just ateez) tarot reader myself and i’ve done reading about their fs too so 🤷‍♀️🤣 like i said, i have my boundaries with readings, won’t do any sexual readings and i don’t focus on looks. being someone who was crazily sexualized since being a child, i really hate this side of any fandom. there’s too many obsessions going on. you wanna know what happened when i saw the most recent pool pics of the members, especially san and woo? as a gym girly i was like “woah i really need to know their routine so i can shape my body like theirs” i can just admire them. viewers here are a little too delulu and have a hard time sticking to reality and form an own opinion it feels like. and I’m sure some readers feed into that. it’s giving you a ton of likes and if that’s their main purpose for posting i guess i get it. that doesn’t mean i’m okay with that but i know many people need validation like that. whenever there’s people coming up and officially date like twice’s jihyo for example i always feel really warm around my heart. gives me the feeling they can still have a bit of a normal life.

i don’t really have anything else to say and only repeat myself. i don’t know if i’m the right person to talk to about that, i do readings and did fs readings like what you just complaint about, but i have boundaries and know what’s reality. none of us will be with any of them, ever and viewers should stop honestly believing “omg XYs fs is like this and that, i’m just like that it has to be me they have to do more detailed readings so i can make it fit for myself”.

on another note, and this is in no means anything bad or hate whatsoever, i love getting asks from you but those long asks are sometimes a bit much because im not your diary, love 🤣 no hate. but it just felt like a rant and i do really like rants but my inbox is maybe not the best place for that because i don’t want to spam any of my followers page with that you know?

edit: you can still send me longer asks, but please try fitting the stuff you want to say into one ask and not three or more 💖

[monowritestoomuch]

ACOTAR ELUCIEN VS ELRIEL RANT

I’ve been asked to voice my opinion about this topic numerous times, and here’s what I’m gonna say:

I don’t give two damns about either one! You heard me!

The arguments annoy me to the hells because it’s one person going “I like my classic flower girl and emo shadow angst fest” vs “I like my nature girl and a fire boy awkward fest”

Two sides of the same coin

Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of Elain or Azriel. I remember reading for the first time and within the first few pages I told my friend who had recommended me the book that she seemed bitchy and empty, she has a bit more personality now but idk just never my favorite.

I would like to see more of her character in future books before I make my entire assumption and assimilate my opinions

However, Azriel never stuck out to me. Kinda basic shadowboy ngl. And I know I’m about to have every SINGLE AZRIEL GIRLIE BE LIKE “dOnT u tALk cRaP AboUT OuR MAn”

I can and I will. Deal with it.

He’s never stuck out for me cuz he has no personality besides flirt and I have big wings. It’s not that I hate him, it’s just that I wish he was given more personality if SJM would do that, but I don’t think so.

And for the love of god, leave Gwyn alone, like bro, 😭😭😭 what did she do???? Let her, Emerie and Nesta gossip and fight and do their stuff, stop character assaulting the redheads ppl! 🫵🫵🫵

HOWEVER

LUCIEN IS MY BOY. MY TOKEN NORMAL GUY IN THE SEA OF CRAZIES AND COOKS IN THIS SERIES

Lucien. Everyone’s favorite flirt who doesn’t try to be more than he is. He’s subtle and a little bit of an asshole but he has personality! And flare, and a good ass backstory!

I honestly only want him to be happy, I could care less about the other two I just want Lucien to get a break from his copious amounts of PTSD from his long crappy-esc life

Another thing, BRING BACK JESMINDA

SJM, you already revived a ton of others, why not Jesminda? She was one of the best characters in the whole book series and she was literally dead. Like, she was one of the few stable relationships Lucien had and she died.

Now hear me out when I say this, Lucien should maybe stay single, for the time being, for his mental health

He needs to heal too, don’t forget that, let him heal with Jurian and Vassa and not be seen as a spy or as a shady guy when he needs a break.

Not to mention he’s apparently in the spring court rn so we’ll see more of that

anyway, tldr, Idgaf abt either ship, both can suck it idc which ends up cannon, the arguing is stupid, don’t send threats to one another, be adults, Lucien needs therapy, the end

[cosmicdream222]

sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

[cyndrastic]

aight update on the future au:

polls not over yet but it’s leaning heavily at McCormick, so i’ll give you my pcov designs and some headcanons for the McCormick parents rn cause out of all the adults they’re my favs 💕💖

i love them so much you don’t understand (also surprise surprise Kenny married Butters [changed his name to Vic], no one could have ever guessed that considering one of my first art posts on this account was a bunny comic 🙄)

anyway they both have mullets cause i just really like mullets, and Vic shaved the side of her head cause that’s my headcanon of what butter’s hair is in the show (cause his little tomato puff makes no sense) and i feel like he would have kept those.

more details and explanations for some things under the cut (aka im ranting about my fav characters and how they work as a couple with little bits of au lore sprinkled in)

Vic-

you may notice i’m jumping back and forth between he and she for Vic, and that’s cause he uses she/he. Don’t get me wrong, I love Butters and Marjorine, but i’ve seen the argument between them so many times. “Butters is a Cis guy!” “Marj is a trans girl!” fuck it Vic is a gnc icon and picks whatever gender he wants depending on whatever the fuck he wants and he’s hot both masc and fem. and i mean very hot. Butters in the show gets a couple descriptive things, namely in the “It’s Butters!” song hes said to have dimples, and more importantly when his father thinks he’s wearing his mom’s makeup when he’s not. that means this kids got perfectly flushed cheeks, nice eyelashes and eyebrows, and unblemished porcelain skin even at 8 years old. that paired with his blonde hair and presumably blue eyes (i’ve never met a blondie without blue eyes), emphasized cheek bones we see in the pcov special (implying he’s got a more slender face and likely more slender and long figure in general, which is the what literal modeling agents tend to look for btw [i would know my grandma and mom were models because they were both pretty with thin frames and lanky limbs]), and the scar over his left eye makes him insanely attractive.

the scar especially gives him something to stand out with; make people remember him (sometimes he even takes out his glass eye just so people get a good look at his empty socket and that image can be seared into their brains). being androgynous also helps make everyone, whether they’re attracted to men or women, find him hot. no one even knows if Vic is short for Victor or Victoria, and that’s the point. also due to how he grew up in this au (spoiler alert, Vic’s life was awful for a lot of years between beginning of high school and when he reconnected with Kenny as an adult [that’s an understatement Vic is by far the most traumatized character in this au]), he doesn’t feel particularly comfortable with being on one perfect end of the gender spectrum; girl or boy. So no matter how he’s presenting, he’s always going to look somewhat androgynous.

Kenny-

Kenny is kinda the same, i just wanted him to look more cool and unhinged. I got rid of the full beard cause i can’t draw it and also hated it, but i added snake bites cause they’re cool. I also got rid of the beer on his shirt cause I feel like after being raised by two alcoholic assholes he wouldn’t drink much as an adult. oh yeah and he’s a he/they now cause you can’t tell me princess kenny didn’t awaken something in him. i feel like he would go to a fancy award ceremony for some massive science breakthrough in a gown. he’s the typa guy to accept some prestigious award for his scientific findings in a slutty silk dress. Basically everything I changed in Kenny’s design was to make him look more like the wacky uncle who gives children weapons (spoilers he is). i kept how the pcov specials made his stockier cause honestly i just like him a little bit bigger. I feel like that’s a treat to himself. he spent so long in a home where he’d probably have to starve some night cause they couldn’t afford to eat, so when he becomes an extremely successful adult, he can give himself the luxury of eating three meals a day or eating junk food that was too expensive for him. he can finally afford to be a little bit heavier; it’s just proof that he’s made it this far from where he came. He’s also more of a mad scientist in this au a la Dr. Mephesto, but far more ethical in what/how he runs experiments.

both-

Their dynamic and characterization in this au is by far the most fleshed out because of how much I like these two characters, and it’s genuinely my favorite couple in the au. I might make a whole separate post on how they operate as parents because they’re both so horrifically worried that they may accidentally follow in their own parents footsteps. Yknow, generational trauma and whatnot. They’re also both insanely unhinged. Both of them are just balls of the walls crazy, which stems from both of them being traumatized (i mentioned Vic is the most traumatized in this au, Kenny is the second most cause of dying thousands of times over his whole life).

Kenny has lost all grasp of physical or mortal fear cause by this time in his life he’s died so much he’s lost any sense of connection to injury, even to other people. It’s difficult for him to register that other people are mortal because it’s such a foreign concept to him, and that can lead to some issues in the lab given that it’s such a dangerous place to work. Meanwhile, Vic has the people she cares about, and has a hard time grasping that people she doesn’t care about aren’t just stepping stones. She was used her whole life, then used and hurt people as an adult (yes she was an NFT bro, no she’s not anymore), but now she has a hard time not snapping back into the NFT thing and scheming every cent out of whoever gave her a dirty look at Walmart. Kenny and Vic can and generally do help each other out with these things, but they can also be each others worst instigators (“oh yeah you should absolutely do that consequences be damned” “no he had it coming to him don’t worry” “yeah fuck him up! beat his ass!” typa shit. they support each other non-conditionally but sometimes that leads to them getting arrested).

[imagionationstation]

hiii IS!!! Hope ur doing ok!! I saw a tmnt 2012 sep au u created with ellestrade and I wanted to know if it'd be alright if I could ask like a million questions about it 👉👈 the concept is SO GOOD and I love it so much!!! It's been in my brain train for a while(as ur works tend to do lol) so it was honestly a matter of time B4 i picked up a pencil and my art app 4 it heehee. I also asked ellestrade for permission 2 dw!!

Hiyaa!! Doing good! Thanks for asking!

I am so with you. So many Ask concepts do back-flips in my brain every now and then and I adore letting them run wild. However, I’m going to refrain from continuing to expand online myself.

As much as I would love to go absolutely nuts answering a million questions while coming up with answers on the spot, I don’t feel comfortable doing so with an AU that’s not wholly mine.

The discussions on any AUs all happened through the Asks from @ellestrade to me. That’s a basis that I am comfortable sharing thoughts and information on. I love rants on AUs, but only when I know for a fact that I’m not stepping on toes.

Now, yes, I do have some part in their creation, but I’m not in constant contact with Ellestrade. I haven’t heard from that blog in a while. I don’t feel comfortable having discussions on what could or could not be possible while Ellestrade sits on the sidelines, yk?

That would be planting ideas with no basis. It wouldn’t be fair for me to play jurisdiction over what’s not inherently mine.

Maybe when Ellestrade pops up again it, one could be expanded on.

Or, maybe not. Ellestrade does have solo AUs on the brain.

I still got quite a few AUs to filter though in my ask box (not complaining, tmnt dreamers are the best) so my brainspace is plenty occupied with world building.

As far as I’m concerned, you’re free to do whatever drawings you want with what’s available rn! (As long as credits are due) I love your stuff. So much ✨talent ��

But I’m going to hold off on expanding on stuff until I’m sure everyone is comfortable with me sharing. Especially my fellow tmnt2012 dreamer/envisioned/creator.

Thanks for the Ask!

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[blixabargelds]

Frankie I was coming to tell you that you posting Louis Hofmann led to me developing a bit of a hyperfixation and discovering last night that he’s currently a London based DJ (because I have no one else to share this information with) but I saw your earlier post so I’ll tell you: I like you and remember you and am proud of you and will wait for you and won’t forget you and think you have (way way more than) a single shred of worth and that you’ll get your brain back at some point soon and you don’t have to disappear forever.

When I first started mood stabilizers I said the same thing about how I’d rather be unstable and creative. I felt like a zombie. I couldn’t do anything. It was so depressing. Everything felt worse. I hesitate to say that because like that’s not great to hear but it’s the truth. Mood stabilizers are a bitch and all my homies hate them but I swear once you get things worked out they’re better.

But please don’t think you’re without worth and please don’t disappear! I’m not being hollow telling you these things either. I’m lowkey parasocial because my social anxiety is too bad to try and be normal and just talk and try to become mutuals but I still thought of you when I read about Louis. I just finished Dark. I’m about to watch Prelude after you posted about it. Your online presence is more than just being a mota writer. You’re still so interesting and creative. If you disappeared I’d forever think of Frankie aka user blixabargelds aka hart.

Sorry this is long winded and probably weird… but hang in there. It’ll get better with the meds!

yeah he is 😭😭 his mixes are here lmaoo also he has very good playlists on his spotify kfjfkfh when i found this out me and elo were like ????? no ofc this makes sense. he’s played in a club i’ve been to in berlin sadly not when i was there tho lol anyways louis hofmann boilerroom set opening with the dark theme tune the same way my nu leng opened their HÖR set with the annihilation score when ?? would say louis HÖR set bc berlin however we don’t fuck w asking artists to remove pro palestine clothing and then shut down their sets when they don’t sooo boilerroom it is pls anyway that’s my. djing rant

noo this is all so so sweet thank you so much 🥺 and really reassuring honestly. i know i just have to be patient it’s just like. head feels like a brick in a washing machine rn like everything has happened so fast from like going truly off the rails to narrowly avoiding hospital to getting diagnosed to getting put on this drug that is meant to help but feels like it’s killing my brain and my doctors are still tweaking it so i’ve not even been on the right dose for longer than a week yet they’ve just been fucking around with it for like a month after all the ✨drama✨ and like. objectively i need to be soo patient w myself but it’s so hard when writing is the thing that brings me joy and sadly i could do that when i was convinced i could see into the future and float peacefully if i hopped off smth tall and i can’t do it now i’m Stabilising and like. accepting that this is for the best even if it feels like getting repeatedly slugged in the meantime is soo hard ough. but thank you thank you sorry for my ramble lmfaoo but really you have made me feel a lot better in this moment 🥺 ❤️ i hope you are enjoying louis’ unhinged catalogue as much as i am loll

also incredibly sweet and mildly amusing ngl to think of someone being parasocial with me fkhfdkhd but i am literally just a bug and and guy and weird and dorky please don’t feel too anxious to come off anon if u ever feel like it!! xxx

[tojisun]

Sorry it turned into a depressing rant

Anon who asked about your fav studio ghibli movie here!

I love howls moving castle so much, I love the part when Sophie starts cleaning the house, I love how comforting it is

I love the sass from everyone, I love how kind Sophie is

I love howls line “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful” as much as it sucks I agree with him. I’m not smart so the only thing I can offer is my looks and personality to people I meet. If I’m not beautiful, then what’s the point? Sorry if it sounds shallow but when you have nothing to offer in this world, the only thing I can work on is how good I look and present myself. I know I shouldn’t think like that, it’s damaging

Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, there will be people who find you attractive and there will be people who won’t. People you find attractive, others won’t, so sometimes I try not to think too much about it since we never know.

All my life I’ve been slow academically. My siblings are all smarter than me so I’m always the dumb one. I’m not skinny but I’m working on it, even tho it’s so hard, but I have to be skinny, my life will definitely turn around when I’m not too self conscious about my body. I know I’ll still have those negative thoughts and even after I’m skinny I won’t be happy but, as of now, I never leave the house, my anxiety about how I look keeps me from taking in person classes. I never want to leave the house unless I look good, because I don’t want anyone seeing me at my worst, I want everyone to see me as the best version of myself. So I never leave, my social skills have tanked since 2020 since that was the last time I took a in person class, and that was in high school 😭😭

I feel so immature and stupid, and people my age (19) are doing better than me. I just give up before I even try, and I’m so behind since I’m in my third year of college and I still don’t have an official major, I’m so behind, and last semester I didn’t take any classes cuz I was so depressed and embarrassed, since I failed two classes. It’s an horrible cycle of pity and dread and I’m scared I’ll never get rid of it. And I’m scared of talking to men, but I’m supposed to get married and have a kid before I’m 30 since you’re more fertile and it’s better to have kids young, and I’d love that but I’m scared my kids will turn out like me, disappointments. And I won’t know how to fix them.

So yeah… we veered off of howls moving castle.. my bad💀

re:

!! this got long im so sorry

first of: pls dont apologize! u are welcome to vent here in my blog, im happy to just be a bouncing wall to u guys (if my usually long responses arent what u guys wanted to see). thank u for trusting me (us) with this and im truly sorry for how late im responding

i do love those parts of howls moving castle! i never understood why howl was lamenting about his looks when i thought he looked beautiful w orange hair. orange used to be my favourite colour ^v^ it isnt one rn but i am still fond of it.

i loved orange even when howl didnt – u are correct that beauty in the eye of the beholder. beauty also goes a long way. it’s a horrible reality but when u grew up fat, u get told so many times about how much better life would be if u could just lose weight. i truly cant tell u when i stopped thinking so little of myself.

honestly love, its just so recent when i felt good enough in my own skin – blemishes n all. i never thought itd get better tbh; i thought itd stay this way but it got better. and im scared to promise to you a range of when it will get better, but i do know that it will.

u feel immature bc u are still young! 19 is so young so pls dont punish urself for feeling young, for thinking young, for not knowing anything past being young yet. as a younger sibling, ik for a fact im still so immature. it took me getting a job (during the weekdays) n going to uni for me to mature up, n i was 20 when that happened. so recent!

i also completed my associates slowly bc i was struggling in college! i once took a sem where i only had one class bc i was so overwhelmed that i had to slowly pace myself so i can keep going. high school babies u n then boom, u get hit w juggling responsibilities in college that kinda makes u wanna quit – but u didnt. u took a break and then bounced back!! my love, if that isnt resilience, then what is?

ive never wanted to settle down. i think its bc i thought id be gone by now that i just dont see myself having a family of my own so i apologize for not knowing how to empathize about the ‘deadline’ but u are just 19. before age 30 is so far away! u have sm to live for in between those years. sm to experience and to meet and to love!

also, not having a major yet is also fine! i declared a minor just this year – and im a fourth year already. pls dont worry. u have time – that is something i wanna keep emphasizing. u have time. it feels like the world is collapsing rn bc of fear and anxiety which, my old therapist told me, is a sign that u (and i) wanna keep going. that u wanna keep living.

and from what i could see, especially coming from me who wanted to just give it all up, that is enough. i know that the reasons behind u working on urself isnt a sustainable mentality, but hopefully one day u will wake up and own ur hard work for urself. not for others.

aaaa this got too long im so sorry, im being emotional on my end but i just want u to know: u are not a disappointment. u arent.

ur alive and ur making connections and ur trying ur best (even though it doesnt feel like that on ur end but u are!!) so how could u be a disappointment? and even if u dont wanna do anything, ur also not a disappointment. not even then.

ur future kids will be so lucky and happy to have u as their mom. and they too will be beautiful; they wont need any fixing bc there isnt anything broken to fix.

i love you. i dont know who u are but i love you. i love all of you.

[hockeygossipdaily]

honestly the ducks have sooo much potential, all their young players are good and continuing to try and get better. It’s literally just the coaching. like beckett for example. why would they send him down? I get it if it was his choice and if he thought he needed more practice then that would be okay. but if it was a greg move, then what the actual dogshit r u doing😭 no offense, but he literally got a hat trick in his game today, the players have so much to offer and it sucks the coaching staff isn’t helping with their abilities and speciality’s and trying to work on their skills.

Everything about that staff sucks. we even heard from a past player that the mindset in that lcoker room is so unmotivating and that’s actually ridiculous. if you as a coach are giving your players a bad mindset and making them not excited then you need to go, they should be able to like the sport they’ve played for so long without already thinking they’re gonna lose before even playing.

like I feel so bad for trevor on a hockey level, not a personal one. he used to be with good people like sonny and shit and was able to properly show off his skills and what he could do, and jamie. like why are they taking away his connections and the people he was compatible with the most(which was proven) and pop out more with..I don’t know maybe that’s just me. some of the old players are good so don’t get me wrong. but get killorn of that damn team rn don’t play with me 😐 (sorry guys!! just me ranting bc i feel so bad for all the young players)

I agree with all that you just said anon. I was on the Greg train at first and gave him the benefit of the doubt because it’s year one.

What killed it was how he benched Trevor when half the team was and still is taking dumb ass penalties. Frank had a good year but they had bad injuries and one player can’t carry a whole team. We’re experiencing that with dosty! We can’t have our goalie carrying our whole team because he’s defense.

Cronin needs to go and Verbeek too. Him trading and sending down his best pieces was dumb as hell and I stand by that. He wants a harder hitting team but the coach can’t motivate. Why the fuck would you hold a meeting after practice and just have them watch movies or tapes not regarding hockey? Is this elementary school???

That’s why Jamie and probably other ducks players who got traded have to start from scratch. The veteran players probably not because they have experience.

The ducks picked Jamie so they were the only team he was with besides the Gulls. He’s starting like a college kid going straight into the nhl. He has to learn a different style of hockey while also working with a team that’s been struggling as well. Trevor would be so much better somewhere else with a coach that can properly teach and motivate a team.

Sorry for the rant but I’ve thought this for a very long time

[yunhowifeu]

Decide

Word count: 2k+

Warnings: none

About: two guys, one decision

__________________________________________

Me and woo young have been friends for a while now, I’ve had a crush on him for a bit tho and idk wether he likes me or not because u see, woo young is flirty w everyone including me, and idk what to think of it. Yeosang has also been my friend tho and I’ve also started liking him, he is just so sweet and thoughtful but I like woo young more and well it’s a bit complicated. I have another close friend, his name is woozi, I tell him all my boy problems, it’s not like he wants me to sometimes but even then he listens to me and comforts me or gives me advice, he actually listens to me ranting abt anything. He is a really busy guy tho and it’s quite hard to find times that will work for both of us to hangout. I work at a convenient store, I work the night shift except Saturdays and Sunday’s tho so I basically have all day to hangout but well he has a lot to work on for the group and well I’m understanding of it but sometimes we go months without talking and that honestly worries me. Anyways tho back to my first topic, woozi told me to try and make a move on woo young to see if he likes me back or not but honestly I’m too scared to do that, he could either like me back but might not be able to get together cuz he is an idol or he dosent like me back and we stop being friends cuz I made it weird. Gosh why r crushes so hard for me.

One day I decide to make a move, I felt bold, so I texted woo young-

[7:05pm] me:

hey woo, wanna come over and watch a movie?

[7:20pm] woo:

I’m hanging out w a girl rn but I’ll lyk once I’m free

Ofc he was w a girl, he always is, recently I’ve barely had any time to hang out w wooyoung.

I felt upset and felt like ranting to woozi abt how upset I am at wooyoung and how excited I was to make a move but now I can’t cuz I’m not always this bold. I text woozi-

[7:23pm] me:

Jihoon, can u come over? I wanna talk

I waited for his text for an hour and still no answer. I decide to text Yeosang next. They r my only three closest friends and well Yeosang was my only hope at this point.

[8:30pm] me:

Yeo, can u come over pls? :/

[8:31pm] Yeo:

Sure, is everything okay?

[8:32pm] me:

No, but I’ll tell u once u come over.

[8:33pm] Yeo:

Got it, I’m omw

I eat chips and scroll through TikTok while I wait. I don’t have to wait long cuz he gets here pretty quick.

I open the door and pull him in by his hand, I close the door, and I hug him. He returns the hug. “So what’s up” he says. I sigh and I say,“Wooyoung situation”.

I had told yeosang abt my little crush on wooyoung before but not abt the making a move plan.“What did he do this time?”he asked. I grab yeosang’s hand and bring him to the living room. We both sit on the couch. “I was gonna make a move on him today cuz I was feeling brave and all but look”, I said as I showed him the text messages w wooyoung. ”that sucks”, he says as he rubbed my back for comfort. “It’s so unfair, it’s like he dosent get the hint, this is so annoying, he is so annoying”, I say covering my face w my hands. “Well wooyoung can be stubborn at times, don’t overthink it, he probably like u back, everything will be fine” he says. I hear a ding coming from my phone, I take my hands away from my face and reach for my phone from the table. “Wooyoung texted me” I say. “What did he say?” Yeo asks.

[8:59pm] woo:

Can’t come over, I’ll be staying over at the girl’s house tonight

[9:00pm] me:

I figured 😒

[9:01pm] woo:

Sorry🤷🏻‍♂️

[9:02pm] me:

K.

[9:03pm] woo:

Don’t be salty y/n

[9:04pm] me:

Wtv I didn’t expect any less from u anyways, u always do this, u never have time for me anymore

[9:05pm] woo:

It’s not like ur my gf, calm down, no wonder u don’t have a bf

[9:06pm] me:

Wth do u mean by that?

[9:07pm] woo:

I mean ur so clingy, u always want me around, I have my own life too yk and I don’t appreciate u sticking on me like a bug

[9:08pm] me:

So I’m just a bug to u now? What abt our friendship? Does that mean nothing to u? Friends give friends attention

[9:09pm] woo:

I’m literally giving u attention rn, ur wasting my time tho, I could be getting closer w this girl yet I’m here texting u while ur acting childish

“I can’t believe him! That jerk!” I put my phone back on the table, leaning back on the couch, forgetting yeosang was even there cuz of how into the convo I was w wooyoung, I felt like crying. “What happen?” He asks. I look at yeosang. “Read the messages” i say and I lean my head back again. Yeosang picks up my phone and checks the messages. Yeosang has my password since we r close anyways and I don’t make passwords a big deal w people I consider close. “Wow” he was putting my phone back and opens his arms indicating for a hug so I hug him tight. “Let’s watch a movie and eat snacks? Yeah? How does that sound?” Yeosang offered, he was always so comforting and caring, and that day I just fell for yeosang more. We get comfortable on the couch eating some popcorn and chips watching some movies. After a while I fall asleep and so does yeosang, we wake up in the morning to loud knocking at the door. I open the door and see wooyoung. He slightly pushes me without saying anything, walking in the house. He goes up to yeosang. “Get up, hongjoong wants us Al back in the dorm by 10 for a meeting” he tells him. Yeosang gets up and shuffles his hair a bit and fixes his clothing as he stands up. I go up to wooyoung. “A may I come in would have been nice yk” I say. Wooyoung and yeosang don’t say anything as they just walk towards the door then yeosang turns around and smiles “see u” he says waving. Wooyoung turns around and says, “Oh btw, tysm for yesterday, ur such an amazing friend” sarcastically. “What r u talking abt? Ur literally the one who ruined my night”I say. “The girl I was w saw me texting u abt that nonsense and thought u were my gf” he says slightly raising his voice. “How is that my fault?” I raise my voice too. “Would u just quit being so clingy, I expected the conversation to end after I told u not to be salty, grow up, ur just ruining my chances w actual good women” he says raising his voice more. “U Moran, I liked u! I just realized tho, that u have always been so selfish, u never actually cared abt me, u never actually took my feelings into consideration” I say

“How was I supposed to know u liked me?” He asks. “I was so obvious abt it!” I say madly. “Ok guys let’s not do this rn please” yeosang says slightly moving between me and wooyoung. “Respectfully yeosang this is none of ur business” says wooyoung. “Come on it’s almost ten anyways, we gotta go” yeosang says dragging wooyoung out the door. Wooyoung let’s yeosang drag him out but then turns around again and says “we aren’t friends anymore, don’t contact me ever again, and don’t even think to come over to the dorms cuz I don’t feel like even seeing ur face around”. I slam my door and I sit on the ground crying.

[10:07am] woozi:

Sorry I was busy and forgot to respond

[10:08am] me:

It’s fine

[10:09am] woozi:

I have time rn tho, want me to come over?

Typically I would say yes but honestly I wanted space at the moment.

[10:10am] me:

Sorry, not today

[10:11am] woozi:

Oh alr that’s fine, and I’m sorry again

I ghosted people for a while cuz wooyoung’s words got to me and made me think I was too clingy to everyone. After some weeks I hear a knock at my door so I opened it and see hongjoong. “hey, I heard what happened and I’d like to apologize from wooyoung’s behalf”he says.”but also, we don’t want drama so I come to ask for u to not be seen around any of the members atleast until the scandals from the fans calm down” he says. “Oh I get it” I say.

Days later I hear another knock at the door but this time it’s wooyoung. “What”I say. “I’m sorry for everything I said and did”he says. “Did hongjoong send u here to say that or smth?”I ask. “No, I’m genuinely sorry” he says. He continues,”and well I actually liked u too”. “What r u talking abt, u literally broke my heart that night and we weren’t even together, yk how hurt I was” I say. “Look ik u might not believe me but trust me I did like u, hongjoong forced me to act like that, the manager saw how people online were already shipping us and everything but they didn’t want any scandals so the manager told hongjoong and we’ll hongjoong told me to act like I wasn’t interested in u and everything, I wasn’t even w a girl that night, it was all made up, u can ask yeosang tho, he didn’t know at first but after leaving ur house I cried and I told yeosang the whole thing, that’s why I started distancing myself aswell but it hurt me to do it”. He said. I was in disbelief.”but if u really liked me u would have broken the rules a little bit or smth” I say. “Y/n, look, I’m an idol, it’s not that simple”he said. “Well is that all u wanted to tell me?u can be on ur way now if that’s all” I say. “No, wait, abt rule breaking” he pauses then continues”I’m willing to bend the rules a bit if it means being w u”. “What do u mean?” I ask, “I mean will u be my girlfriend?” He says. My eyes widen. I been thinking abt getting even closer to yeosang after a while but now wooyoung is asking me out. I didn’t know what to do. “Idk woo, can I have time to think abt it?” I ask. “Alright, but lmk please” he says as there is an awkward silence and I nod then he leaves. I had started liking yeosang more lately but wooyoung confessed and I used to like him more, what if I got w wooyoung? Would I like him again?would I be happy?but yeosang is so caring but idk if he would be willing to even date. Gosh idk

I call yeosang and ask him to come over. He gets here a few minutes later. “Hongjoong would be mad if he saw me here rn” he says. “I’m sorry but I just need to talk to u abt smth that’s been on my mind lately” I say.

We sit together on the couch. I sigh and say “ok yeosang, well, wooyoung confessed and asked me to be his gf even if it meant breaking the rules”. “Oh well what did u say?” He asks. “I said I would think abt it but actually I’ve liked someone else for a while and I think I like them more now but idk if he likes me back and if he is willing to break the rules too” I say. “Is he a K-pop idol?” He asks. “Yes” I answer. “Well who is it?” He asks. I hesitate but then say it “you”. “Really?” He asks looking surprised. “Yea, it’s been a while that I moved on from wooyoung and I just couldn’t stop thinking abt u” I say. “Well r u suggesting we date?” He asks. “Yes” I say scared what he would say next but instead he didn’t say anything, he just pulled me in for a kiss. I had my answer right there. I was so happy. I hugged him tightly. He giggled and hugged me back tight. “Yk, I’ve actually liked u since a few years ago when we had first met” he says. I look up and smile. I was really happy but now I had to figure out a way to tell wooyoung no.

I invited wooyoung over. He came over and sat down to yeosang and I. “I have the answer” I say. “Well I’m sorry, I just don’t like u as much as I used to, and well I’m dating someone now” I say. “Who?” He asks. I hold yeosang hand and hold it up to show wooyoung. “Oh” he says seeming disappointed.

Time passes and word got around but I convinced the manager to let us stay together and the fans actually liked the fact that we were dating quite a lot except there was one scandal abt how me and wooyoung should have been the ones ending up together and well yeosang got a bit insecure but I comforted him and we have been happy together ever since.