#I could do without the double snake accessories | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

missvifdor · 4 years ago

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(The continuation of this post where during a spell class a portal opened and the boys' female doubles as well as MC's appeared in the class) (I think I could make it an independent "story" for the adventures of my MC /OC /YUU)

My MC /OC /YUU and his double crossing the gaze in the class: * Double bi panic *

*Now we will have to find a solution to bring these young ladies and this gentleman back to their reality, but in the meantime here is the look of our twisted guys if they were girls*

Dorm leaders:

Riddle: Looks both serious and cute, with a round cheeky face and big eyes with long thick lashes as well as a pretty pixie haircut. Obviously she stays small but is always bigger than my MC OC YUU, her voice both soft and sharp, a very interesting contrast.

Leona: Made more of a woman than a young girl, still has magnificent hair, bewitching eyes and has a very toned and nicely muscular body. His voice is deep with that tone both seductive and bored. She knows perfectly well that she is beautiful, that she has charm and adores the handset with her immense intelligence. It's an absolutely formidable combo. She is the same height as her male double.

Azul: Gives that mafia-like aura (Or Sugar Mummy), with her hair styled in an impeccable bun and her tailor that is both professional and flatters her gorgeous figure perfectly. Her smile is both sweet and dangerous. But we all know that deep down she is a sweet girl who needs reassurance and who needs to realize how smart, hardworking, and beautiful she is (and we know any of us don't would stop proving it to her). She must be two or three centimeters shorter than her male double.

Kalim: She's still a sun ball and a full cinnamon roll! So positive and supportive! Tie up her long silver hair with a cute headband and always do her makeup in warm tones (where instead Jamil helps her with her makeup like that). Always wears tons of gold bracelets on her wrists and ankles, is very tactile, and has no problem cuddling the people she loves and appreciates! Is the kind of friend who makes sure you eat well and that you don't miss anything. (I can see her thinking that she and Jamil have more of a sister relationship than a master and servant relationship). Is exactly the same size as her male double.

Vil: Let's be honest here, Vil would be the most gorgeous woman who hasn't set foot at Night Raven College for decades after The Beautiful Queen! You almost feel like she's straight out of a fashion magazine but no, it's just that our Reine des Poisons takes so much care of her and works so hard to come to such potential! Her magnificent hair would reach her shoulders, her voice would be as beautiful as honey on a slice of bread and her makeup and manicure would be as perfect as it gets! Maybe she would be a little taller than her male double (even without heels). (I don't know why but apart from her care and makeup, I also see her very well making her own jewelry as well as her perfume).

Idia: Haired with two long, fiery quilts, she would be more the type to have an e-girl style but with very loose clothes that would not show her forms (the poor one does not realize that she has the potential to become a model for lingerie). Her voice would be both sweet and high-pitched, and she could also be smaller than her male double. (And Husbando, so many Husbando!). Doesn't trust her smile because of her sharp teeth but that is her charm and she is so fucking cute! Maybe she would be more organized and manic than her double even if her room would still be in a very big mess (at least she didn't leave her underwear lying around in plain sight, she would die of shame if anyone saw the cute and childish little designs on it).

Malleus: This woman ... Would be exactly the same size as her male double! And she would be so beautiful and elegant! With long black hair that she would let hang down her back, as well as her incredible figure! (Also gives those Magical Sugar Mummy vibes). His voice, by all the gods ... The most sensual and that playful note we've ever heard. Her voice is also so deep and sweet (let's not even talk about her laugh or I'll die of happiness). Still gives that awesome and intimidating impression on people but is so sweet when you get to know her (Always make that adorable pout when she's sad or upset, you feel like hugging her tight and telling her that even though she is scary in the early days, she's the sweetest person we've ever met!).

The Vice-leader:

Trey: Don't lie to each other, give these married vibes over and over again. But beware, also hides his game very well because in private ... 🥵. Her beautiful hair tied in a ponytail and her voice in playful tones. Would be the type to wear stockings with his uniform and is the same size as his male double. Smells like cake and vanilla, it's both so nice and it also makes you so hungry!

Ruggie: Is quite skinny because as we know Ruggie often endures difficult months. Short and messy hair, has a cheerful voice and an infectious laugh (Quite fond of pretty things in the background, but since she doesn't have much money, she can't really afford it. If she could, she would certainly treat herself to some pretty hair accessories). Perhaps an unacknowledged Tsundere side. Since she cannot feed herself properly for someone her age, she is most certainly smaller than the average for a Beast Woman. Would probably like to have a cuter look, unfortunately she can't afford it as she doesn't want to look "weak".

Jade: Holy shit, this woman is so dangerous and sweetly sadistic, if you ever pique her interest and she likes you on top of that, I'm sorry for you. Her body is certainly muscular and graceful (She also has quite incredible strength). Has long, wavy hair that she wears half-loose and is exactly the same height as her male double. Her voice and at the same time so soft and cold, you don't know if you should feel comfortable or on the contrary, run as far as possible. Obviously loves going for long hikes, (Her legs are so muscular, if she catches you with that, you won't be able to go anywhere). His tone is so teasing, you can't resist him for long.

Jamil: Very tall, even a few inches taller than her male double. Just like Trey, she smells so good, like cinnamon. Has a fairly athletic build, and remained a very, very good dancer. Very skillful, maybe makes her own wrist and ankle bracelets, also wears a lot of jewelry (not as expensive as Kalim's, but still very pretty and it shows her really well, especially the snake designs ), also wears a lot of ear piercings. His hair is very long, silky, and worn the same way as the male Jamil (maybe with extra pearls in his hair). Her voice is deep (sensual) and with a note of irony and sarcasm. Her make up apply lightly but always in such beautiful warm tones (she also highlights her cheekbones), especially with eyeliner to highlight her intense gaze.

Rook: His hair is worn in the same way as the male Rook, also wears a multitude of hats as well as pretty earrings. Likes to tease those around her, smiling and bright. Has a French accent, of course. But remains someone dangerous in the end. Is the same height as her double, is athletic, skillful and has excellent eyesight (Normal for a hunter). See beauty in everything and everyone! Don't you think you're handsome? Rook will give you ten points for why she thinks you are beautiful and why you should stop thinking that way because otherwise she will stalk you until you accept this truth. Her voice is happy and confident, deep and warm. May like to wear accessories like long socks with natural or animal designs. Specialized in throwing knives.

Ortho: So cute! The little sister you will want to protect at the risk of your life! So smart and friendly, curious too. Wears a cute fiery pixie hairstyle and has a cheerful, thin voice. Is so small and skinny.

Lilia: Oh boy ... see Draculaura from Monster Hight? She has the same look. So much into jokes, loves to surprise people to scare them. Her voice contrasts completely with her appearance since it is deep and velvety. Same size as her male double. Even though she looks so young, she still acts like a child mom. (Obviously, is always so bad in the kitchen, she brings out stuff, sometimes you are afraid that it will come to life to devour you). Despite her jokes, she is still very good advice and listens.

The rest of our boys:

Cater: If fashionable, is certainly a great influencer. Cater pays so much attention to everything, especially the little details and accessories that she wear. Makeup always on top and colorful, could become a model if she wanted. Is smaller than her male double. Joyful and higher pitched voice, her hair is a bundle of silky curls always worn in a cute way (Like Ariana Grande). (Has a multitude of fans and contenders) carefree and likes to give cute or silly nicknames to people she loves and appreciates. Would be the type to flirt with his friends for fun. Probably has a passion for nail art and would be so proud to show off her designs on her Magicam account! Would act with the first years like a big sister although she is not always good advice. She is so teasing.

Ace: Short, messy hair! Pretty tomboy style, enjoys teasing others too much for his own good, always smiling like shit and communicative. Is a sporty person, and quite arrogant, maybe also a little Tsundere side. Is a hopeless hideaway romantic. Even though she likes to do her makeup, she doesn't like taking fifteen years to do it and does the minimum required. Of course has a more feminine side when she's out of school, but honestly, feminine clothes are never practical for big movements. Act confidently but not too deep down. Her voice is happy and dynamic. Is one or two centimeters smaller than her male double. Likes to wear necklaces and chokers. Rather skinny but not as much as Ruggie.

Deuce: So sweet and so want to do her best to make her mom proud of her. Wearing long hair tied in a low ponytail, her voice is high-pitched and strong. Is quite tall (even taller than her male double). Read romance books on the sly but can't help herself when someone finds out. Probably already dyed his hair blonde during his delinquent period and dyed it before entering Night Raven College. Likes to wear barrettes in her hair, also does her best with her makeup but was not used to it before (it was mainly Ace who taught her everything she knows). Secretly loves wearing skirts and dresses, she hasn't been able to experience it before because she didn't think it would look pretty on her (But she's actually pretty). Certainly be shy and insecure when she finds new people, afraid of doing things badly. Blushes so easily that it is funny. When his delinquent side resurfaces, his voice becomes more serious, threatening, his posture leaves no room for shyness! She might want to change for the better, but that doesn't mean she's going to let others do if they want to bully her!

Jack: Do you see Jasper in the Steven Universe? You now have Jack as a woman. She is muscular and strong! The part she's most proud of is her muscular back! His silvery hair his savage and remained indomitable (But that gives him a crazy charm). Don't take shit from people and still is a Tsundere. But her wagging tail always betrayed her about her emotions, as well as her ears. Same size as her male double. Secretly loves cute things and certainly has an army of adorable stuffed animals in her room in Savanaclaw. Wears a biker style, and because she lives in a cold region with her family, she doesn't get cold easily, so her muscular arms are uncovered all the time (for your viewing pleasure 😏). Her voice is serious, so serious! But if you're friends, you definitely hear that thoughtful little note in her voice. If his male version is the Best Boy, his female version is the Best Girl! She takes care of those she loves and is always ready to help!

Floyd: Is exactly the same size as his male double. Wear her hair short cut in a boyish style (she doesn't have the time or the energy to dwell on her hair). Her voice has high notes, especially when she finds something or someone cute! Very expressive, has no filter. Like her sister, she is muscular and graceful. Her dress style could be similar to those of men in the 40's (she much prefers masculine clothes because it is more comfortable and she doesn't have to worry about her chest with large shirts. does not have to wear a bra!). Love accessories like earrings or piercings. Has immense strength and doesn't always control it. Dislikes makeup, she doesn't want to bother with it (but finds it charming on others, that's just her personal opinion). If its male version is not to be upset, it also works with its female version! Especially when it is at this time of the month, run away poor fools!

Epel: The same problem as with its male version! Except that instead of being manly, she wants us to find her sexy and not cute! All her life in her hometown has not to stop telling her that she was cute! Really ? Was she nothing else ?! She wants people she finds attractive to find her sexy, not cute! Just because she is petite, because she has big, innocent eyes and a round, youthful face, doesn't mean it's her definition of beauty or femininity! Much like her appearance, her voice is cute, slender. Her hair is long, wavy and held up with a red ribbon in an elegant manner. Compare to her male version, Vil lets her speak with her accent because it is one of her charm assets. Her face is decorated with delicate freckles. Is quite skinny with a tiny bit of shape but not a lot (let's say she has a lot more than Riddle). Epel is a little smaller than the male Epel, but not much.

Silver: She is the equivalent of Disney Princess Aurora. Except that, unlike, even if she falls asleep anywhere, she doesn't need a knight to protect her, she is her own knight! Remain a formidable swordsman! In spite of everything, remains someone calm and taciturn, very easygoing. She is very fond of animals and as they naturally flock to her, she is very happy about this fact. Wear her hair up to the shoulders and tie it in a ponytail for practice. She has a fairly toned body, but not too much. Her voice is soft and measured. She is much smaller than her male double.

Sebek: Acts hard but is so soft in the end. Looks pissed off all the time but that's just her natural expression. Wears her hair like her male version, and is the same size. Her voice carries so far, it's very impressive the first time you hear her! It is a bit sharp, but not in an unpleasant way. Carries so much esteem and respect towards Malleus, she would also like so much to be like her but she would never dare to compare herself to her! Blushes so hard and so quickly if you press the right buttons, it's so funny to see her get annoyed! Her figure is quite toned and sporty.

And finally, My MC /OC /YUU: Just like his female version, he wears round glasses, is always 150cm tall and has long wavy hair. Has fairly broad shoulders and is slightly muscular without really being so. Does everything possible to make girls feel comfortable and safe in his presence! He knows how exhausting the life and daily life of women is because of societal pressures and the male gaze. He knows that because of assholes, women are afraid of men and are afraid to even be in the same room as them, so he will do his best to ensure that she never feels that way around him! And if someone has the audacity to make one of them feel these feelings, oh boy ... that person won't last long! He was raised by his mother alone, and she taught him respect, consent and righteous values. He is an ally, so rest assured 😊😉. His voice is soft and serious (Also watching him get angry and argued in French is quite impressive! The sound of Rs in his mouth sounds even more aggressive).

#Twisted boys girl!au #Girls!au #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland imagine #twisted wonderland imagines #Disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst headcanons #Twst #twst x reader #Twisted boys #Savanaclaw #Heatslabyul #octavinelle #Scarabia #pomefiore #Ignihyde #Diasomnia

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veralovemail · 4 years ago

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So... Matchups are closed but requests are open? I got it right? Well, If I didn't, feel free to delete this lol

What about Yidhra's follower and Robbie with a S/O who is like a big sis figure? 😳👉👈

yes you did... i've gotten really overwhelmed with the amount of match ups people have sent in and barely any hc requests, so yeah. i'm sorry if my matchups take a while as well, schoolwork is kinda stressing me out and some familial problems r going on. anyways, here are your hcs! by the way, f/o means familial other.

yidhra's follower + robbie platonic hcs! (fem reader)

yidhra's follower:

yidhra's follower doesn't really have a name, so we'll call her y/f.

yidhra enjoys watching you and y/f play around together, whether it be tag, chess, go fish or an old board game you found in the manor!

whenever y/f does something impressive, or wants to show you something, you see her running towards you with a giggle and she'll tug you along to show you what she did.

when you're in matches, if you're a survivor, y/f will most likely leave you alone, but your l/f (leech follower) won't.

if you're a hunter, you're a little disappointed that yidhra isn't allowed into 2v8. you tried smuggling y/f in, which also meant smuggling yidhra in, but i don't think you can dress yidhra and y/f as the same hunter and hope that ms. nightingale doesn't notice that there are two robbies sitting in the chair.

yidhra asks you your secret to becoming friends with y/f and you just smile at her. for a supernatural being, she can't figure you out.

y/f will sleep on you a lot. she naturally gets tired out after matches, so she'll come rambling to you and then conk out on your bed or in your lap.

yidhra goes around trying to find y/f but always finds her with you. she'll be slithering around, asking luchino or hastur "have you seen my follower anywhere?" but neither of them "know" because you bribed them (somehow).

you and y/f bake for everyone! everyone in both factions enjoy your baking. normally you make one thing for everyone, depending from where they came from. even bonbon gets some snacks (...burke has to approve of them first though).

yidhra sometimes lets y/f join you in matches. without her scythe though, she just follows you around.

y/f sees you as her big sister and if she has a problem (and if yidhra has one), she'll come straight to you.

yidhra sometimes asks you things about y/f because yidhra doesn't know how to console a crying husk because some toxic survivor emoted at her.

you'd hold a survivor out of the window as a threat and the next day you see them begging y/f for forgiveness for emoting at her after a pallet stun.

y/f idolises you!! she asked yidhra to ask if they could get matching skins with you and you most likely did, survivor or hunter.

everyone except hastur and luchino are scared of yidhra, so if you're a little weak or disliked by someone, you're guaranteed 100% safety.

robbie (does he have a last name????):

he takes you everywhere with him.

robbie will call you "big sis". full stop.

he holds your hand and drags you around, rambling about his latest match or something that happened in the manor.

if you're a hunter, he'll play 2v8 with you. you two are a true monolith that survivors instantly give up when they see you two tag teaming (not double teaming you two just kick ass very well)

give him a lil high five if you're nearby and he downs someone. it gives him more motivation to keep going.

no amount of stuns or flare guns can stop you two.

if you're a survivor, he won't hold back, but he will apologise when you get back to the manor if he chaired you.

loves showing you his skins and accessories and you hype him up.

you sneak yourself into the survivors' side of the manor and steal sweets for him. sneak 100. snake metal gear solid could NEVER.

you got caught by naib once but for a hunter of your size, you somehow fit perfectly under the dining table... but he still found you and was like "what the fuck are you doing here you cretin"

he, as in naib, kinda leaves them out for you so you don't have to squeeze yourself under the dining table the next time

he is!! very grateful for your existence.

you two play games together a lot. board ones or tag in the garden, it doesn't really matter.

you bake for him and you also patch up his clothes for him.

he falls asleep in your room a lot so you carry him off into his own room to sleep if you're a hunter. if you're a survivor, you pad on over to luchino or michiko's room and ask if they can go get him.

you read him bedtime stories if he asks. most of them are improvised though.

will excitedly show you a new trick of his or a drawing he made of the two of you & you almost cry everytime bc you're so proud.

#idv #identity v #idv imagines #idv writing #idv x reader #platonic headcanons #robbie idv #identity v axe boy #yidhra idv #identity v dream witch #headcanons

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servamp-musings · 3 years ago

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Hello! I have a question, do you have any birthday related headcanons for the Servamps? :3

Of course! Sorry this one took me a while, my birthday is coming up this week too so I thought I’d post this closer to the time 😅 Hope it’s ok, and sorry for the long post 😅

Servamps Birthday headcanons

Kuro

Originally didn’t really make it a big thing, but considering that it was on New Year’s Eve, Mahiru would plan something for him in addition to the new year celebrations.

Mahiru wouldn’t yell at him for eating snacks or making a mess, and may even settle down to play a few games with Kuro.

He is made a simple cookie and cream ice cream cake, and Mahiru invites all his other siblings and Eves along too. Of course, Tsubaki ends up gate-crashing.

In terms of presents, they get him a few joke presents like in the drama CD but for his main gifts, he gets a range from snacks, games and comfy hoodies.

At the end of it, they will all count down to New Year together.

Hugh

Hugh has quite a few demands for his birthday; the onsen must be properly cleaned and decorated, the food must be of a good quality and he has to personally handle the invitations.

What ends up happening is that it looks something like a child’s birthday party.

Tetsu would make little balloon animals for everyone and perform party tricks to entertain everyone.

There is a buffet table of desserts from around the world (or what’s possible) laid out and a special birthday cake that is more than double Hugh’s size.

He has all the attention on his big day, and will make sure everything is perfect and to his liking.

Jeje

Will most likely ignore his birthday.

However, he will get a message wishing him happy birthday from Lily and if possible, will receive a gift from him too. This would usually range from a small accessory to tools for making his bottled ships.

Mikuni would treat him nicer but still tease him a bit such as putting a party hat on his snake form.

He’ll get treated to a bowl of pumpkin soup afterwards though.

Overall, a quiet day.

Freya

Freya would prefer apple pie rather than cake for her birthday.

Izuna, Gil and Ray would most likely plan something for her in terms of a small party.

I think it would be spent celebrating with people from C3, both from the R&D and Combat divisions.

Her gifts would range from a small collection of gadgets and handmade items to jewellery and shoes.

The day would start off and end peacefully, leaving her satisfied and she would try and think of a way to repay her Eve and Subclass somehow.

Hyde

He was another that initially didn’t really make a big thing about his birthday and if given the chance, he would pass it quietly.

Licht didn’t really know when Hyde’s birthday was until Guildenstern let it slip, and he ended up kicking his Servamp for it.

That year, Kranz and Licht arranged a small surprise party in celebration with just them and some of Hyde’s Subclass. The gesture succeed in taking him by surprise, and he was reminded that it wasn’t such a bad thing.

Since then, Hyde would be sure to remind Licht about it from the beginning of the month, much to his Eve’s annoyance.

The activities for his birthday usually included an outing followed by a trip to the theatre to watch a play and finally, dinner at a restaurant. The song would be sung and cake would be cut when they returned home or hotel room if Licht was on tour.

Ildio

Doesn’t really care about his birthday much and sees it as just another day.

Niccolo does his best to try and make the day a bit different with varying success rates.

Receives a lot of birthday messages from the other members of the mafia, sometimes coming with small gifts of money, food or items.

If Niccolo is busy or arranging something for the evening, Ildio is often left to his own devices. When he does, he likes to idly go for a walk or talk with Hyde over the phone or messaging.

Usually ends with a small dinner party where he is allowed to eat as much as he wants without much complaints from others.

Snow Lily

His birthday was always celebrated at the Alicein Manor, with his Subclass and Misono often being busy preparing for it.

He’s always happy watching them do this and pretends that he doesn’t know so he could give them a genuine reaction.

It’s quite a big party full of games, music and a large range of food. Despite being his birthday, Lily does what he can to make sure his Subclass has fun.

He would receive a lot of handcrafted gifts and drawings from the Subclass kids which he treasures and would wear whatever he could regardless of how it looks.

The other Servamps, including Jeje, always sends him birthday messages and/or gifts too despite not always being in contact.

Tsubaki

Would make sure that his birthday is not forgotten, especially since it’s on the same day as New Year.

If he wanted his other siblings’s company or just to be an annoyance, he would gate-crash Kuro’s birthday the day before.

However, he feels the most at ease when it is just him and his Subclass, preferring to have a big celebration for both occasions with them.

The day usually turns out to be completely chaotic with all of their personalities and choices of activity ranging from games, putting on a show and watching a movie but he doesn’t mind as it is never boring.

Would visit the shrine where Sensei was killed to reminisce about the past and pay his respects. Even so, he is now reminded that even if the other Servamps didn’t know him, he is not alone.

#servamp #servamp headcanons #servamp kuro #hugh the dark algernon iii #servamp jeje #servamp freya #servamp hyde #servamp ildio #snow lily #tsubaki #i had fun thinking of these xD #random-husky

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canyouhearthelight · 4 years ago

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The Miys, Ch. 121

Insert Winter Holiday is here, again!

I’m queuing this ahead of time, and I originally had a really cute message about the end of the year. Then, I realized what year this is and said “Yeah, nope. Not jinxing it, will not have the actual end of the world be my fault.”

I am going to leave it at this: thank you to @baelpenrose, @raven-fae, and @charlylimph-blog for all your help with this story in 2020. Thank you to every single one of you who bombed by notes this year when you found The Miys. Thank you @janeshadow for talking me into getting off my rump and making the story easier to navigate.

Standing to my feet after putting the last dish in the oven, I couldn’t help but smile as I looked around my quarters. Despite the fact that we had forgone a tree this year for Insert Winter Holiday, there was a definite festive feeling as everyone packed themselves in as much as possible. Derek had clearly found my lights again, as they circled every public space in my quarters, including the kitchen. Furniture was pushed as far against the walls as possible, and everyone had been advised to bring their own cushion to sit on.

In the two celebrations since waking up on the Ark, dinner and gifts had largely been a smaller, more typical dinner-style affair. However, without my noticing, my family had grown exponentially since then, and this year finger foods passed from hand to hand as everyone relaxed and chatted. Charly, Tyche, and I took turns in the kitchen, with Hannah waving us all three to sit while she checked on something in the oven so that we could rest and enjoy ourselves, too.

“Where’s Derek?” Charly asked as she approached me to take her shift watching the last batch of food bake.

“He isn’t great with crowds, so he and Sam already came for lunch and to exchange gifts,” I explained, stroking the scarf they had given me. “They already left and took Mac with them.”

“Aww, they’re hogging the Christmas Cat… No fair!” she pouted comically.

“Eh, Mac’s not a fan of crowds either. Besides, I’m pretty sure someone gave him cheese - again - so I’d rather the little gas bomb not be here tonight.”

“Fair enough,” she laughed before popping me with a tea towel. “Go! Your turn to socialize and cuddle!”

I held up my hands in defeat before carefully picking my way around people. Coffey was gracious enough to take my hand and guide me around him and over to where Conor and Maverick were guarding the astonishingly huge pile of gifts. Arthur was nearby, arguing with Conor and trying to drag Simon into it every chance he could. The topic sounded like a rehash of the one regarding fortifications, only this time it was Fortification Redux: The Plant Edition. “We’ve already confirmed there are no megafauna on Von!” Arthur exclaimed wearily. “Not even vegetarians. Why would we need fortifications?”

I could tell Conor was just provoking him when he lazily waved a hand. “It’s psychological, to make people feel safe. Besides, agriculturally, it serves as double duty.”

“He has a point,” Simon conceded, wincing when Arthur turned a playful squint his direction. “He does!”

“Whatever,” Arthur surrendered with a mock-sulk. “Sophia…”

“You know where I stand on this argument, don’t even try it,” I laughed as I dropped in between my partners.

“You wound me! I was going to offer to whip up some goulash, but now I don’t think I will since someone thinks she should accuse me of such atrocious crimes.”

I rolled my eyes at his theatrics. “Whip up whatever you want, I’m done with kitchen duty, and so is Tyche. Charly’s on her last lap.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Maverick laughed, catching Coffey’s careful eye on his beloved bundle of energy.

Arthur practically leapt to his feet. “That decides it. I am so offended by Sophia’s accusations that I am going to share the kitchen with Miss Chaos Incarnate and leave you all to wonder what wound up in the food.”

Tyche tipped her head back to scowl at him from where she was draped across Antoine’s lap. “If I find a single eyeball…”

Muttering something suspiciously close to “Dammit”, Arthur prowled across the room as though the entire floor wasn’t draped in legs and people.

I opened my mouth to whine about how he could do that, only to be cut off when a piece of pastry was stuffed in my mouth. Grievances forgotten, my eyebrows shot up as I chewed. “Tyche! When did you make donuts!?”

“It may have involved time travel,” she waggled her fingers at me. “But no blood magic or ritual sacrifices, swear.”

I could see Antoine shake his head before responding over his shoulder. “She made them this morning.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Travelling forward through time is still time travel, mon coeur.” He tapped the tip of her nose with one finger, eliciting an expression from her that promised swift and painful retribution.

A soft rustle of fabric caught my attention, and I turned to see a pile of purple and jade-green silk land beside me before a long, dark braid came into view. “The donuts are quite delightful,” Parvati declared as she yanked Xiomara down beside her in a graceless heap. Grabbing a dark brown one from the plate, she popped it in her lover’s mouth just as Xiomara was about to complain. “That one is a Black Forest, I believe. You’ll love it.”

“Careful on those,” Conor warned. “I think they’re half booze.”

“I only soaked the cherries in kirsch,” Tyche corrected. “Not the whole thing.”

“So yeah, half booze,” I corrected.

Giving her most fearsome scowl, Xio snatched the rest of the Black Forest donuts off the plate and balanced them in one hand.

A squeal of laughter interrupted our shenanigans, and we whipped our heads around in time to see Hannah holding a plate of mini-Wellingtons over her head without even looking, while Charly struggled to get up from where she was sprawled across both the other woman’s lap and Coffey’s. Zach stared at Hannah like he just saw his first sunset, and Maverick snorted behind me.

“He is such a goner over her,” I heard him say, followed by a light smack.

“Because I have certainly never seen you look at Conor or Sophia in such a way,” Parvati added lightly. “And obviously not when Conor is baby-talking to the plants around the ship, or when Sophia is so busy working she will eat whatever is handed to her.”

He buried his face in the back of my hair before squeaking. “Nope. Never!”

I twisted around so I could see them both. “Wait. When did this happen?”

“Three times a week, in your office,” Tyche interjected in a bored tone. “And pretty religiously.”

I felt my face heat up. “Does everyone know about this except me.”

Xiomara nodded furiously, cheeks plumped out and a suspicious number of donuts missing from the pile in her hand. Parvati shook her head at the antics and smiled gently. “Someone needs to make sure you eat… He brings you gyoza, and you don’t even notice. It’s quite adorable.”

Conor laughed. “She’s got you there, love.”

Eyes flashed as four heads snapped around to him. “Oh, don’t think you’re off the hook, mister!” Charly scolded at him. “He does the same thing to you. Those little pasties you like so much, with the potato and onion.”

Maverick groaned his embarrassment into my shoulder, while Conor’s smile faltered. “I would remember that,” he insisted.

“Not even once,” Charly confirmed.

Rather than being embarrassed, Conor just laughed again and reached to drag us both over to him. “I don’t know how someone so tall can be so sneaky, but I won’t argue.”

That moment was when Arthur decided to return, a trail of slurps in his wake as he handed out goulash. “No eyeballs,” he sighed dejectedly as he handed one to Tyche.

“You guys are no fun,” Charly muttered as she took her own bowl.

Poor Simon eyed the offering hesitantly. Arthur gently wiggled the bowl at him. “I promise, you’ll like it.”

Carefully, as though it would explode at any moment, Simon took the dish and managed a small bite. After a few seconds - presumably to confirm there was no trick - he chewed and immediately started bolting it down at a rapid pace. “I thought it would be spicier,” he admitted as he snaked a hand out to grab another.

“That would be the paprika. Really red, not really spicy.”

Maverick laughed as he took a bowl, but poked it with his fork before wrinkling his nose. “Sorry, Arthur, not happening.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than Simon’s hand darted out again, eliciting laughter from everyone.

Arthur shrugged, well aware of Maverick’s food aversions by this point. “It’s not for everyone. You keep your tofu, I’ll keep my goulash.”

Not long after that, the last of the food was gone and dishes were cleared. Hot drinks were handed out by Zach and Conor, and then it was finally time to exchange gifts. Baked goods from Tyche made the rounds, along with beautiful accessories from Parvati, carefully curated books from Alistair, plants from Conor and Sam, and more.

At one point, Arthur was staring at his gift from Charly like it would bite him. “It’s… a pen?”

She nodded, producing a small jar of black ink from somewhere. “A fountain pen, with black India ink. I made them both myself.”

Arching an eyebrow, he brought the pen closer to examine the engravings. “An otter… with a sword?”

“With a saber,” she corrected. “I tried to make it look like yours, but do you know how hard you make it to get a good look at that thing!?”

“It’s literally on display in my office when I’m not practicing with it.”

“And how am I supposed to get in there when you aren’t? You booby-trapped the door!”

“Wonder why….” he mused with a small smile. “This is very intricate,” he finally admitted.

“Consider it an apology for the other ones.”

“Oh!” I realized. “Give me just a second, everyone.” Scrambling, and with nowhere near Arthur or Tyche’s grace, I managed to make it to our bedroom to grab an armful of boxes. Once I was back at the doorway, I peeked around the stack and smiled. “These are from Derek, with a little bit of help from Hannah.” Checking names, I distributed the boxes before making my way back to my spot.

“This is… It’s so soft!” Parvati exclaimed. “And the colors are beautiful!”

I smiled as I rubbed the scarf I wore. “He wanted to show his appreciation for how welcome he feels, even if he was overwhelmed at the idea of being here.”

Hannah nodded as she brushed her scarf against her cheek. “We worked on these for months, but I didn’t realize he found time to make one for me… All the colors and patterns are different for each person, by the way. They’re meant to show us how he thinks of us.”

Conor held up the green and orange fabric that his box revealed. “I love it, but I’m confused.”

She rolled her eyes, and tapped her own scarf. “This goldish-brown is my eyes, and this olive green are the clothes I usually wear.”

Coffey’s laughter rang through the room as he unfolded his to see a pattern like Neapolitan ice cream: Rich brown, bright pink, with white swirled throughout. “I think he nailed it.”

Antoine’s head tilted until it almost met his shoulder. “Our eyes… Every single scarf has the color of our eyes in it. That must have been so hard for him to do.” I could see what he meant - Derek did not look people in the eyes, as a rule.

“He wants us to know that he sees us, and that he likes that we see him,” Zach shrugged. When we all stared at him, he just blinked. “What? You don’t work with him as much as I do without figuring those things out.”

Without exception, everyone wrapped their gifts from Derek around themselves before the next set of gifts were handed out. “These are from me,” Arthur explained. “Hopefully I got it right.”

Like Alistair, Arthur had gifted everyone a book, but rather than a book that furthered a current interest, he had sought out historical insights into extremely niche topics for everyone. Some made pretty obvious sense - a book on the historical events leading to and the impacts of the Harlem Renaissance for me, a book on the evolution of law in various cultures for Xiomara - but some were far less obvious.

“A book on Roman law?” Charly asked, confused.

He reached over and tapped on the cover. “Specifically, this is about how much of Roman law was the result of litigation, with some pretty hysterical results. I think you’ll get a huge kick out of it.”

She cracked the book open to a random page and looked at it. “If you weren’t home when you were subpoenaed as a witness, you didn’t have to testify, but if you didn’t the person could stand outside your house and - “ she snorted before continuing in a fit of giggles. “Yell at you… for no more than three…. Three hours a day, three days a week - “ another snort “for up to a year!” She wiped a tear from her eye and surrendered to her giggles. “Oh that’s amazing! Thank you!”

Charly wasn’t the only one laughing. Even Xiomara was snickering. “That is an incredibly specific law.”

“Absurd laws are best laws,” he shrugged.

Eventually, all the gifts were distributed, but nobody was in a rush to leave. Instead, we lounged around, quietly catching up and talking about our plans for the upcoming ‘year’. At some point, Insert Winter Holiday had, unanimously and without fanfare, become the end of the year celebration on the Ark, even as far as the Council made plans. With that in mind, we were taking a chance to celebrate our continued survival for yet another cycle, and tried to look forward with optimism toward the next one.

I just let the feelings sink into me, enjoying the presence of the people who moved into my life. Had I been asked fifteen years ago where I saw myself in the future, ‘on a spaceship, as the last of the human race, about to colonize another world’ would have been nowhere on that list. But here I was, with a larger family than I had ever dreamed.

Despite all that we had been through, I couldn’t wait to see what the future would bring.

(A/N: Keep your eyes out for an announcement on New Year’s Eve!)

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#the miys #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #found family #original science fiction #learning to write #aliens #apocalypse #earth is space australia #learning to live #humans are space fae #humans are awesome #humans are strange #hfy

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dontasktheradiodemon · 4 years ago

Text

Quasi-Confession

Alastor visits @hiss-and-vinegar Sir Pentious in the boiler room and then shit hits the fans.

Listen. Some of y’all are following for the relationship drama, right? For the soap opera action? That good good telenovela shit? This is the thread you want to read. This is the thread you’ve been waiting for. It’s got what you want. It’s got what you crave. It’s got this:

Sir Pentious moves back, out of the way suddenly, staring at Alastor like he's a different person. Was this even possible? He.... "ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ME, ALASSSTOR???"

Brace yourselves for an emotional roller coaster.

Sir Pentious

Local snake is waiting in the boiler room, which is still pretty difficult to navigate. Watch your head, you might bump it on a pipe or cable. Or some slab of metal. Sir Pentious has an easy time moving around in here, CLEARLY you are just clumsy. He's flicking about on his phone, sending another message to Alastor to let him know where he can be found.

He sends his usual tophat :3 emoji along with it.

Alastor

It’s mere seconds before Alastor replies with a “🎶 ✔️✔️✔️” and only a few more seconds after that before he’s arrived, knocking on the door before letting himself in with a cheery “Hello~!”

He COULD have just teleported straight into the room rather than in front of the door. But he remembers how that went for his double. He’s not risking it.

Sir Pentious

Ah! There's that familiar radio voice. Penny's head swivels towards the source and he leans back against a workbench, flicking his tongue as he waves to the deerman.

"GREETINGSSSS, ALASSSTOR! GIVE ME YOUR HAND! OH, AND, I WANT TO SSSSEEE THE MUG, AS WELL."

Alastor

"Of course!" He offers over the travel mug with stacked layers of unhappy sinners depicting the rings of hell printed around it. "All of Hell, just for you, as well deserved. And mercifully free of any sad excuses for watered-down tea."

Although he was briefly tempted to fill it with hot water and claim it was one-second tea.

“Left or right?” He holds out both hands anyway, Sir Pentious can take whichever one he wants. (Also check out that bling on his left wrist. He’s got that watch Sir Pentious stole for him.) “You know I’m always eager to lend a hand, but I didn’t think it was going to be so literal!”

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious reaches over to take the mug, purrrrring as he looks it over. It is absolutely just a travel mug, but it was an offering! He is going to put it on his workbench.

Oh, and he does notice that watch! A large toothy grin spreads upon his face, and he takes hold of Alastor's left hand. That's more common for rings, isn't it?

The ring from Valera is clearly visible on his own hand. It shines in the warmth of the boiler room's lights.

Sir Pentious adjusts those multiple lensed glasses of his to get more accurate measurements, careful yet at the same time, rough. He squeezed at finger joints and pinched skin... He could be taking measurements for all kinds of things at this rate.

"GOOD TO SSEE YOU'RE GETTING USE OUT OF THE WATCH, ALASSSTOR! HAS IT HELPED YOU?"

Alastor

He got a horrible rasping cobra purr! He'd steal every tacky gimmicky mug from every cheesy souvenir shop in Pentagram City if he thought they'd earn him more purrs. (He didn't *buy* the mug, obviously.)

“Yes indeed!” He’s enjoyed admiring it. And listening to it tick. Sometimes he even checks the time with it, although he’s generally got a razor sharp internal clock. A big help. “And quite a handsome accessory it’s made, too! But then I knew I could trust your sense of style.”

He tries not to get overly lost in the sensation of his hand being manipulated. Those were such PRECISE measurements... By this point he has no idea what in the world Sir Pentious needs these measurements for, but considering the quantity he’s taking... After a moment of hesitation, Alastor asks, “How precise do these measurements need to be? Would taking my glove off help?”

Sir Pentious

The question stirs him, and Pentious tilts his head in thought. "WELL, NO... I CAN BUILD ANYTHING *UPON* YOUR GLOVE." There's that grin again, "I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU WITHOUT THEM! IT WOULD BE *INVASIVE*, WOULD IT NOT?"

Alastor

What in the world is he building? Alastor’s current best guess is a weapon. Some kind of mechanical robot glove. Something that needs fairly precise but not skintight dimensions. “It would only be invasive if you *demanded.* I’m freely volunteering it! But, no, I wouldn’t take my gloves off around just anyone.”

Sir Pentious

Tongue flick. Once. Twice. Sir Pentious takes the other hand, checking for any inconsistencies.

"UNLESS YOUR HANDS ARE GROTESQUE IN SSSSOME WAY, I NEED NOT SSSEE THEM! MY CURIOUSSSITY ISS NOT PIQUED!"

Is it weird to offer that? He's going to think on it idly later.

Alastor

“They’re shockingly normal,” he reassures him. “So if your measurements don’t need to be that precise, there’s no need for it!”

He’s not quite sure if he’s disappointed or relieved. Relieved, probably. He said it wouldn’t be invasive, but in truth he would feel more than a little exposed with his ungloved hand in someone’s grip.

Sir Pentious

He finally seems to finish up, and Penny scribbles down all the measurements he'd taken, with a barely legible scrawl. This was not the writing he used for letters, this was definitely his engineering scrawl.

"THERE WE ARE!! ALL FINISHED!!" Prr prr prr prr, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?"

Alastor

He’s studying Sir Pentious’s handwriting off and on as he scribbles, until he stops writing and Alastor focuses directly on his face as he speaks.

Oh—happy sounds. Alastor automatically echoes them in pulses of static. “Well—a fine question! What’s there to do down here?” He glances around the boiler room... then settles his gaze on Sir Pentious’s throat. “How about you give me that bow tie you promised me weeks ago, hm?”

Sir Pentious

Oh the eyes on his neck get a squint out of him, but the words that follow are more reassuring.

"OH, THAT OLD THING? I'D NEARLY FORGOTTEN."

Luckily he kept a bunch of random things in his jacket, and he began to fish around for it, "YOU SURE ARE GOOD AT REMINDING ME ABOUT THINGSSSS THAT HAPPENED WEEKSSSS AGO, ALASSSTOR."

Alastor

He opens his mouth to snark back—something about *having a working memory*—before he realizes Sir Pentious is referring to Alastor’s referring to Broadway. His mouth shuts with a click of his teeth like a dial turning off. “Hm.”

Sir Pentious

He's right, Sir Pentious' working memory is generally tied to the immediacy and things that pissed him off. The serpent continues digging around before he retrieves his old bowtie, holding up the accessory and looking at the yellow pendent in the center. He holds it up as if he were dangling a piece of meat, "HERE YOU ARE, OLD CHAP. THISSS ISS WHAT YOU ARE SSSEEKING, ISS IT NOT?"

Alastor

He feels a little bit like a dog being prompted to beg for a morsel. “If that’s what you’re offering!” He holds out his hand, palm up, for Sir Pentious to drop the bow tie in. He’s got a sneaking suspicion that if he tries to grab it, Sir Pentious is going to jerk it back.

Sir Pentious

*He would be right because Penny is that bitch.* But instead he drops it down into Alastor's waiting hand, "I HAVEN'T WORN IT SINCE I REMOVED IT WHEN I PUT ON YOURS. BUT I HAVE KEPT IT WITH ME, SSO! SSTILL WARM. NYA HA!" That's a weird thing to say. He won't think on it anymore.

Alastor

Alastor won’t think on it either. Which is to say, he will think on it A WHOLE LOT, RIGHT NOW, just not on the implications of the fact that Sir Pentious felt the need to point it out.

He tugs off his current bow tie with a flourish and slides the new one in place. “I’ll have to start wearing a little yellow so it doesn’t look out of place.” As he ties the bow tie, he casts a critical gaze down at his red-on-red-with-red-trim outfit, looking for something he can switch out or somewhere he can accessorize.

Sir Pentious

He's wearing a lot of yellow and black himself, so the red bowtie does have a bit of an out of place look, but to Sir Pentious, it was the prize that mattered. He had something of Alastor's, and those who were in the know would be able to recognize that much. A symbol, a victory, perhaps. Spoils and all that.

"A LITTLE YELLOW WOULD SUIT NICELY! MIGHT I SUGGEST A BLACK COAT WITH YELLOW PINTRIPES? NOT THAT YOU COULD SSSTEAL MY LOOK IF YOU TRIED! YOU'D NEED MORE EYESSS FOR THAT."

Alastor

He’s not quite so bold to ask if Sir Pentious has any old coats he’s willing to hand off—although the thought crosses his mind. “Ha! And look like one of your minions? Not if you don’t plan on hiring me full time.” He finishes with the bow and drops his hands, tipping up his chin to show it off. “Am I straight?”

Sir Pentious

A SHARP laugh, and Sir Pentious gestures to Alastor fondly. "NOT AT *ALL.* BUT YES, YOU LOOK FINE!! VERY STRIKING."

Alastor

He blinks a moment as he tries to work out why he’s being laughed at; then huffs. All right, fair enough. “Good to hear!” He stows away his recently-removed bow tie in the collection he’s been carrying around in his pocket.

Sir Pentious

What a shit eating grin from Pentious, who leans in suddenly VERY close to Alastor, much larger than the twig of a man.

"YOU MAKE IT SSOUND LIKE YOU'D ENJOY WORKING FOR ME! BEING BOSSED BY BETTERSSS? NYA HAHA, I MEAN THAT *AFFECTIONATELY*, OF COURSE. YOU'RE NO SSSTRATEGIST."

Alastor

He doesn’t lean back an inch. He just tips his head back, smiling up at Sir Pentious. “I don’t have betters.” And for a moment, his smile is very menacing. There are ways of teasing he’s fine with. That’s not one of them.

But the moment passes. It was, after all, intended affectionately. “However, I also don’t have ambitions! Not any more glamorous than entertaining myself. And I won’t lie, I’ve never found better entertainment than assisting with someone else’s grand ambitions. The drama! The pathos! It’s why I’m here, after all!” He gestures vaguely above them, indicating the hotel.

Sir Pentious

While others might realize their teasing fell flat, Sir Pentious remained in that competitive space, looking over The Radio Demon's wide, dangerous grin. He was no stranger to danger, not at all. Though Alastor did not consider him a rival, Sir Pentious couldn't help the sheer thrill he felt from the possibility of the two at one another's throats. Part of being in Hell, you know.

He follows Alastor's vague gesturing and makes a face, "YES, WELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU DON'T ACTUALLY *CARE* ABOUT THE BETTERMENT OF *SSS*SINNERS. YOU ARE ALWAYS IN IT FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT. BUT IF YOU WORK FOR ME, A MAN OF YOUR POWER, I WOULD PREFER IT IF YOU *DID* CARE ABOUT WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO!" Though he doesn't get too uppity about it, preferring instead to adjust his bowtie, "YOU'VE PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT TO HELP ME WITH MY AIRSHIP, SO, I SHOULD HOPE IT ISSSSN'T A LONG CONFUSING GAME."

Alastor

A game? At that, Alastor draws back a little. He still thinks—? Well, of course, still. Of course still. It’s only been a few months. He’s going to be proving himself for years. He’s going to be proving himself for DECADES. “Oh, I get most of my entertainment from schadenfreude, that much is true—but with the hotel, I’m hoping to get my schadenfreude by watching it crash and burn. Around YOU, I get my schadenfreude from all the people you’ll be crushing on the way up.” A dark smile—almost a conspiratorial one, as if they’re discussing secret plans rather than goals that Sir Pentious regularly announces at top volume. “There’s very little interesting about man challenging the devil and losing—it’s what everyone expects, isn’t it? It’s the inevitable, the status quo. I can watch an overlord fail at that any day of the week. But man OVERTHROWING the devil—a mere mortal, rising up from the mud, becoming something greater than one of the very celestial powers that govern the universe—now THAT, that IS a show worth seeing! I want to see hubris rewarded!”

His eyes are glowing brighter as he leans closer to Sir Pentious. “And all of us who are so strong because of our postmortem superpowers, we dealmakers and bargainers—I don’t think any of us stand a chance. We’re just borrowing a measure of the power of infernal demons and fallen angels. A moon can’t outshine the sun whose light it’s reflecting. The only one who can do it must be a master of the one completely human power of creation: invention. It’s you or nobody. And ‘nobody’ is a terribly boring story.”

Sir Pentious

Their faces are practically together, these weird old men. His hood floops outward, and he stares at Alastor with all of his glowing red eyes. Menacing man. Sir Pentious cannot hold back the shrill cackle of glee that escapes his throat. "OF COURSE, YOU ARE CORRECT, ALASSSTOR! I BROUGHT INNOVATION TO THIS INFERNAL CESSPOOL-- EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE, THAT I AM, I BUILT IT MYSSSSELF, I WORKED FOR IT!!! THEY WILL ALL REGRET LAUGHING AT ME ONCE MY FACE IS *EVERYWHERE.*"

He loved to be praised, so much. Look at him preening again, it gave color to his patterns and his ego hungered for more. Power coursed through his veins at the mere thought of being better than everyone else. His blood would taste sweet with ambition.

Alastor

“If one knows where to look, in one way or another your influence is visible in every building down here. You’ve already shaped Hell! Anyone who doesn’t recognize that is an idiot!” And that kind of technological prowess MATTERS to Alastor, whatever the TV/satellite/computer/Internet bozos think to the contrary. He lived a life on the technological cutting edge. “Once your face is everywhere, if you command it, they won’t be AROUND to regret it anymore.”

And oh, he can’t wait to see it.

In the meantime, seeing Sir Pentious with his ego freshly fluffed is nearly as good a sight. For a moment Alastor swears Sir Pentious looks more *vivid.* Alastor has to force himself to lean back before he does something stupid.

Sir Pentious

He's polishing his talons on his suit, then admiring them as if they were freshly painted. Sir Pentious *purrs*, looking over to Alastor without turning his head, and all of his eyes follow suit.

"MM. YOU KNOW JUSSST WHAT TO SSSAY. I'VE MISSED HAVING YOU AROUND, MY FRIEND."

Alastor

“I’ve missed *being* around.” There’s an edge of desperation to his tone before he reels it back in. Professional charismatic radio host voice. “Everyone else down here is so boring. You can’t imagine!”

Sir Pentious

"HA!" He wiggles his talons as he begins to slither around, over and under various pipes and cables, maneuvering his lengthy body with ease and fluidity. "OH, I ASSURE YOU, I CAN! I HAVE BEEN HERE MUCH LONGER THAN YOU, ALASSSTOR. THERE WAS A TIME I USED TO BE EAGER TO ENCOUNTER NEW ARRIVALS, TO SSSEE HOW THE WORLD HAD CHANGED AS TIME WENT ON, BUT THEY BECAME SSO MUCH MORE **BORING**. TRUE CLASS AND SSTYLE HASS BEEN LOSST TO THE LIVING WORLD, YOU UNDERSTAND."

Alastor

"True enough! Everything's so... *cheap* these days." He watches Sir Pentious slither around. "Somebody's got to show these sinners some proper class and style. And if you want something done right..."

Sir Pentious

Glowing eyes in shadows, anywhere that's not lit up by the extra lights Sir Pentious has added. It's a stark contrast from light to shadow, and he beams, coming up behind Alastor, though carefully. He doesn't touch him, "YOU NEED ONLY LOOK TO SSSIR PENTIOUS! HA!!"

Alastor

He glances back over his shoulder without turning, beaming back just as brightly. "And truer words were never said."

Sir Pentious

Just two guys being dudes.

"ALASSSTOR, IT REALLY IS INTERESTING THAT YOU DON'T WANT *MORE.* YOU REALLY COULD HAVE IT ALL... OH, BUT THEN WE REALLY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO CHAT LIKE THIS, EH? WHAT A SHAME! CAN'T HAVE THAT."

Alastor

“Can’t have that!” He turns to lean back against a table so he can see Sir Pentious directly again. “I COULD, but I don’t WANT it all. I’m an entertainer, not a... a mad scientist warrior king. YOU could have a stupendous career as a circus contortionist, but I doubt you’d be any more content with that than I would be stuck on a throne making tedious decisions about infernal infrastructure and Hellish cabinet posts. I don’t want subjects—I want an audience.”

His smile twitches toward a grimace. He mutters, “I wouldn’t mind more of *that*—but I certainly wouldn’t get it as a conqueror.”

Sir Pentious

"WELL, I COULD GET YOU AN AUDIENCE! ONCE I'VE TAKEN THIS EMPIRE FOR MYSELF, THERE SHALL NOT BE ANY EMPTY SEATS TO WORRY ABOUT!" He beams, spreading out his arms, "AND THEN! OH, WELL, WE'D HAVE TO CHANGE THINGS UP EVERY FEW YEARS, SO IT DOESN'T BECOME BORING."

Alastor

"Would you?" Alastor brightens again. "I mean, I know you COULD do that, no doubt there—but would you really?"

Sir Pentious

Look at him smiling. He's smiling so much at Alastor. "WHY, OF COURSE! IF WE ARE WORKING *TOGETHER*, THEN I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH THAT. IT WILL BE *FUN* WATCHING WHATEVER YOU DO TO THEM!"

He flicks his talons this way and that, slithering through the pipe maze again. *Enrichment.*

Alastor

His eyes glitter at the thought of it. A captive audience, provided by no less a personage than the ruler of Hell. True, he’d rather his audience listen to him out of adoration rather than fear—he’s an entertainer, after all!—but they can work out the details later. He was adored before. All he needs is to be listened to again, to be given a chance to prove himself, and he’ll be adored again. He’s sure of it.

“I’m counting that as a promise!” Oh, he’s excited just as the THOUGHT of it. He taps a foot on the floor as some bouncy Harlem stride plays in the background under his words. “If you’re irritated now at me for remembering things you did weeks ago, you’re going to hate me when I remind you about this promise in a few years! Ha!”

Sir Pentious

A cackle from the rafters as Sir Pentious slithers around up there.. He finally hangs upside down in front of Alastor with that large familiar grin.

"OH, I AM CERTAIN I WON'T HEAR THE END OF IT! BUT I CANNOT IGNORE THAT YOU HAVE *HELPED* ME. I DISLIKE BEING INDEBTED TO ANYONE, BUT I CANNOT PRETEND OTHERWISE!"

He tips his hat, which is miraculously staying on his head.

"I DO NOT SHAKE HANDS WITH YOU, BUT I COULD PUT IT IN WRITING."

Alastor

“Oh, that’s entirely unnecessary!” Pause. “But I’d love it if you did!” He scoops up the nearest blank-looking piece of paper and a pen, steps sideways into an unexpectedly large shadow, and somehow emerges from it next to Sir Pentious, standing upside-down on the ceiling next to him. “So it’s to be a formal agreement, then, is it!”

He looks all dramatic standing there upside-down for a grand total of three seconds, before his clothing remembers gravity and the tail of his coat fwoofs down to dangle around his head.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious watches him standing upside down, and he smirks, waving a dismissive hand. "A *PROPER* CONTRACT, ALASSSTOR. I AM A BUSINESSMAN! NO BLANK PAPERSSS HERE. I DIDN'T RUN MY FACTORIESSSS ON BLANK PAPERSSS."

Alastor

“Well, you need a blank paper in order to write the contract on it, don’t you?” He offers over the paper and pen, go on.

Sir Pentious

"I CAN'T WRITE THAT *HERE*, AL! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR??" He huffs, "I WON'T FORGET, AND IF I DO, YOU WILL REMIND ME!"

Alastor

"Not if you're going to get on my case about reminding you." He drops the pen and paper. The paper flutters slowly down to the ground. "It was a nice sentiment, all the same."

Sir Pentious

Oh look at Alastor getting huffy. Sir Pentious frowns, slithering down to retrieve the paper and pen, "DON'T THROW A *FIT*, I AM NOT GETTING ON YOUR *CASE.* I SAID WHAT I MEANT! YOU WILL REMIND ME, I AM COUNTING ON YOU."

Alastor

Only very lightly huffy; and more for the drama of it than anything else. Still, the idea of being *counted on* makes him perk up. Doesn't that sound all official.

He melts back into the shadows to reappear again next to Sir Pentious. "Then I guess I'll just have to pester you about it sometime!"

Sir Pentious

"YESSS, THAT ISS THE POINT. I HAVE A LOT OF THINGSS TO KEEP TRACK OF. ONCE I AM PROPERLY IN MY AIRSHIP, AND IT ISS OFF THE GROUND, I WILL SET UP THE CONTRACT AND TYPE IT UP ALL NICE. SCRIBBLING IT DOWN ON SSOME BLANK PAPER HARDLY BEFITSSS A HELLISH GENTLEMAN SSUCH AS MYSELF." He gestures to Alastor's suit, "YOU MIGHT ENJOY A PATCHWORK SSTYLE, BUT I DO NOT! NONE OF THAT 'MAKE DO' ATTITUDE, SSSIR."

Alastor

"I happen to like handwritten legal documents! It makes them feel important. Like the Declaration of Independence." He pauses and thinks that over. "That doesn't carry much weight with you, does it? All right, typewritten it is! But I expect to see a draft before you ask me to sign. I have to make sure the terms are equitable, after all."

Sir Pentious

He leans all close to Alastor again.

"OH? EQUITABLE HOW SSSSO? WORRIED I'LL SSSIGN YOU INTO FORCED LABOR, ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

"Worried you'll let me off too easy," he says dryly. "What if you do something like say you're going to do this big favor for me on the basis of our current friendship and my prior services rendered? What about future services? What if I never do anything else for you ever again, but this contract still holds you to helping me out? No no no, I won't stand for it! You're offering me an enormous favor, my friend, and I intend to earn it properly!"

Sir Pentious

... Oh. Usually people were expecting Sir Pentious to be the one to pull the rug out from others--this was something he... Somehow didn't see coming at all! Alastor wanted to make sure that he was held to the right standards. Don't mind Sir Pentious, he's just going to be having Feelings over here, looking away. Friend...

"YES, WELL. GOOD! THEN. IT WOULD BE A BIG MISSSSTAKE TO TRY TO MAKE ME LOOK THE FOOL, ALASSSTOR!"

Alastor

"I wouldn't dream of it!" He hesitates; then decides, well, all right, as long as he's saying friendly things already—and knowing Sir Pentious keeps asking for directness—

"Truth be told," he says, casually examining his claws like he's only half paying attention to what he says, "if I ever offered to shake with you on something—and I know you've already said you'll never shake with me, that's fine, but IF I did—that's what would be on the line. No souls. Just an unbreakable guarantee that I can't—betray you." He leaves off the *again* and adds a shrug, like it's no big deal. "I don't think you'll ever want to shake even under those conditions. But, all the same, I thought I'd let you know! Since you keep bringing it up like you think I'm just waiting for some clever opportunity to trick you out of your soul!"

Sir Pentious

There's a sound in his ears, like *ringing.* Sir Pentious could swear he could feel his heart pounding in his ears but only briefly. What was *that* sensation? Generally, he felt aches in his chest like that with Valera when she said something *particularly* caring...but this was Alastor. This was probably just another example of a good friend, and what good friends do. Good friends don't betray one another! Yes, of course.

But he couldn't let it go that easily, his brow creased as he looked the deerman all over. "*WHY?*" It was extremely likely that this Alastor had betrayed the Pentious of his own Hell before. Penny was certain every Al was guilty of that at this point... But why try SO hard? Why be so afraid of angering him? Could guilt alone be such a driving force? It felt like there was a very obvious piece of a puzzle missing to him.

"WHY ARE YOU... WHY DO YOU CARE *SO* MUCH?"

Alastor

"Because you're thirty-three percent of my circle of friends—and the only one of them I viciously, violently backstabbed!" He laughs shortly, and his stomach twists and churns as they delve back into that topic that he always feels lurking just under everything they say.

"I don't know how bad things went in your universe, but here—I... it's no exaggeration to say you might well have been ruling Pentagram City by now—maybe more—if not for me. And if we're going to be friends again, we—I know you still don't trust me fully. You can't. You shouldn't! *I* know I'm not going to betray you again, but am I just supposed to say 'take my word for it'?

"On the other hand, a bargain that means I can't betray you is *cheap* for me—in fact, it's *absolutely free*—because all I'm doing is promising not to do something I wasn't going to do anyway! But for you, why—it would give you a little reassurance without your needing to trust me a lick more! And if it costs me nothing but gives you that much... Speaking as a professional dealmaker, that's a bargain if I've ever heard one."

Sir Pentious

Well, that settled that, didn't it! For friendship. Alastor said it himself! And he made quite a big deal (pardon the pun) of it too. He always talked so much, you'd hardly want for a conversation with him around.

.... Except. That feeling gave Sir Pentious some *concern*. It was still lingering, not as strongly but it was there. He's thinking over something the talkative deerman had said...

".... NOT *ME.* I WAS BETRAYED, YES, AN ALASTOR BETRAYED A SIR PENTIOUS, INDEED.... BUT IT WASN'T *ME*." That was something that had always stuck around, lingered in the pit of his own long intestines. The serpent wrung his hands together, unconscious of his own idle fidgeting.

"IF THE ONLY REASON WE ARE FRIENDSSSS ISSS BECAUSE OF *RESIDUAL* GUILT, ISSNT THAT BOUND TO FAIL, TOO?"

Alastor

He shrugs and nods, granted, yes; they’ve both been content to treat each other as substitutes, even though each knows the other is different. Haven’t they?

But he doesn’t get a chance to address that before a question demands his full attention. “*No!*” The question horrifies him enough that he takes a step closer to Sir Pentious, hands half raised, like he’s bracing to try to stop him from swinging around a knife. “No no no, I—w—if I was motivated by avoiding guilt, then I’d be avoiding *you!* I’ve felt more guilt in the last two months than I have in the last twenty years! No. We’re friends because I *want* your friendship.”

He lets out a rattled laugh. “And you can see how well I’m proving that! I try to reassure you, it makes you worry about something else, now I have to re-reassure you.” He gestures between the two of them. “*This* is why I’m trying so hard. Because I can’t quite get it right yet.” He holds up a finger. “*Yet.*”

Sir Pentious

He's startled by the other's sudden movement, and his hood opens up. Alastor's insistence, that earnest way of speaking. It made that feeling even *stronger.*

He almost expected Alastor to grab his hand, but that didn't happen. Sir Pentious rubbed at his arm.... He's feeling guilty, too. For being so paranoid, skeptical. *Afraid.* It was a lot to think about.

"YET..." He looks away. "... I. AM SORRY, THAT I AM. LIKE THIS."

Alastor

Alastor blinks, then leans back against a work table again. Taking in the apology, turning it over in his mind. It feels like needles lining the inside of his ribs, stabbing when he tries to inhale. “For—for what, a little healthy suspicion? I didn’t get you and you didn’t get got by me, but—your suspicion is more than justified. I don’t hold it against you.” The corner of his mouth twitches weakly. “I’m amazed you’re giving me a chance at all.”

Sir Pentious

A little healthy suspicion? Sir Pentious makes a face, digging his talons into his arm further, scratching now.

"IT *ISN'T* HEALTHY, THOUGH. IS IT." This was a.... Decidedly more vulnerable topic, but this was the boiler room. No one came down here anymore, not since Penny set up shop.

"I AM NOT HEALTHY, NOT IN THE LEAST."

Alastor

Alastor tenses as he sees Sir Pentious’s talons tighten on his arm. He wants to reach out. Instead he just grips the edge of the table with both hands, claws digging into the bottom of it.

“If I were the one in your sh...” No shoes. “... If I were standing where you are? I would never so much as *speak* to a Radio Demon again. No matter what dimension he’s from or what promises he makes. So... I know you've said your mind is unhealthy, but *that suspicion*, I don’t think *that's* unhealthy.” He leans a little closer, not quite getting off the table. “If *you* think it is, I won’t know how unless you tell me.”

(He’s dimly aware that the radio distortion modulating his voice has been ebbing and flowing like waves on a beach—but like the tide going out, steadily declining. He can’t remember the last time he spoke so plainly for more than a sentence or two.)

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious doesn't lean back this time, but he's scrunching up more. His skull is *abuzz* with activity, and what feels like pressure on his brain.

".... YOU WOULDN'T, AND YET, WHEN I BECOME SSSO SSSKEPTICAL, I CAN... *FEEL* LIKE I'VE FAILED. IT TURNSSS ME AGAINSSSST THE ONES I." Love. "THE ONES THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. AND I." Lose them.

He can't even finish his sentence, dragging his talons down his arm, a grounding technique that was more self punishing than helpful.

Alastor

Alastor automatically guesses what the first word left unsaid is. His heart leaps into his throat. He swallows it back down; the word isn’t meant for him.

He can’t watch that clawing anymore. “Maybe I can’t help—I think I’d make a poor alienist—and I can’t speak for everyone else important to you” (he feels daring just including himself on that list) “but, for what it’s worth... I’m hard to break and harder to scare off.” He’s gonna. Just. Carefully reach out, and put a hand on Sir Pentious’s wrist. Hi, can he take that? He’ll even let Sir Pentious claw up his arm instead if he wants. It’s fine if not, he’ll just wait and see.

Sir Pentious

The second his wrist is taken, Sir Pentious' eyes widen *considerably.* There's that rush in his chest, a dull *aching.* The puzzle piece was just out of reach, he could *feel* it.

He doesn't even fight it, even as his mind screams at him, *you failure, you absolute failure, look at you! Might as well offer your neck for the chopping block, you miserable failure.* He *winces*, though it isn't at Alastor. Stressed out tongue flicks, he's having a hard time maintaining eye contact.

".... YOU. PROMISE. YOU HAVE TO *PROMISE* ME THAT YOU WILL NOT... LEAVE." With every second that passes, it is like an eternity of ache in his chest. Similar to when Valera held his hands, rubbed them and spoke to him so softly. Grounding him.

Alastor

Alastor flinches when Sir Pentious winces, but Sir Pentious isn't pulling back, so Alastor isn't either.

"I promise." His voice is so blatantly, embarrassingly human. "I promise that I won't leave." He'd seal it in magic if Sir Pentious would let him. Instead, he just squeezes a little more firmly. "I'm your friend and your ally. I promise."

Sir Pentious

*But why?*

Why did Valera have so much patience? Why did Alastor not hate him? By all rights, he should infuriate them, but instead, they always reached out to him...!

... His eyes snap open wider than ever, and he feels like the last puzzle piece slips into place.

"ALASSSTOR. ARE YOU...?" OH, boy. He wants to be wrong, right now, more than ever, he wants to be wrong. If he *isn't* wrong, then... All of those moments, all of those playful snuggles and schemes.... Well they weren't just friendly, were they?

He's looking very pale, suddenly, a grit teeth sort of look. He's realized it. The reason why he stuck around was the same as a Valera's.

*Love.*

Alastor

Something went wrong. He can see it. "What?" What did he do? What did he say? Was it—?

Is his hand too close to Sir Pentious's? He jerks his hand back. "Sorry! I'm sorry, that was—It's a unilateral promise, not a bargain, I wasn't trying to shake on it."

In his heart he knows that's not the problem. But he can't see what the problem is—unless it's the worst.

He hopes it's not the worst.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious moves back, out of the way suddenly, staring at Alastor like he's a different person.

Was this even *possible?* He.... "ARE YOU IN *LOVE* WITH ME, ALASSSTOR???" Even if the deer said no, Pentious wasn't sure he'd believe him this time. Everything they did together, the way Alastor had warmed up to him, sooner than most others ever would consider...!

He liked him *like that.* And Sir Pentious, lonely Sir Pentious, had never questioned it.

Alastor

His stomach lurches. What did he say wrong? What pushed it over the line? He tries to deny it but all that squeezes out of his throat is static. After months spent trying to reassure Sir Pentious that he DOES value him, that he IS his friend, that he would NEVER betray him again... denying the accusation now would be too much a rejection of everything he's tried to prove.

He sinks down on a bench. He didn't say anything wrong. He said what Sir Pentious needed to hear him say. This was unavoidable.

He tries to give the same response he did to Valera—*no, I'm not; just with someone who looks the same*—but words catch in his throat as he suddenly realizes they're not true anymore. He knows this Sir Pentious too well to still see him the same as his own; but that's done nothing to break his fever. *Damn it.* He twists his hands together and stares down at them, defeated.

Just a few minutes ago, they were...

But Sir Pentious is never going to touch his hands like that again.

Sir Pentious

Of all the things Sir Pentious had expected to come out of this meeting, he couldn't have predicted that Alastor, the Radio Demon, was in love with him. This explained *everything...* Eager for friendship? Wanting so desperately to be around him, to not anger him, to spend as much time as possible?

Love was the *only* answer that made sense. Friendship was difficult enough with the serpent, but love! Oh, this was so much to process. He could only stare down at the deerman. For once, for *once* in his entire unlife, he'd never seen the other so *silent.* Unable to speak, unable to say a thing. Static choking up from his throat, and Sir Pentious found his hands at his own, remembering how it felt to be unable to speak. What to even feel? What could he feel?

Shouldn't he be laughing right now? Feeling so *powerful* for being the object of *Alastor's* affections? This should be making him feel unstoppable, but instead it felt like daggers plunged into his back, dragging down. Every breath wrung with *pain.* Sir Pentious' teeth grit, and he glared, flexing his talons out toward Alastor.

"I LET YOU *TOUCH* ME, I THOUGHT WE WERE *FRIENDSSS*, BUT YOU WERE JUSSSST USING ME, WEREN'T YOU!?" There it was--that hatred for himself bubbling up, paranoia clawing its way out of his throat, "YOU SSSSAY YOU WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND, BUT YOU WERE TRYING TO-- YOU JUSSSssT WANTED--" Wanted what? Alastor hadn't *lied,* he just hadn't been forthcoming. But here, Sir Pentious felt wave after wave of feelings that he couldn't describe. Why did he feel so *betrayed?* "FROM WHENCE DID IT **BEGIN???** HAVE YOU ALWAYSSS BEEN LUSssssTING AFTER ME!? I AM *ENGAGED*, ALASSSTOR!"

He was starting to be so cruel, and he could taste his own venom on his tongue now. Why did it matter this much?

Alastor

He can already see how this is going to end: with Sir Pentious throwing Alastor out of his afterlife completely; with Alastor alone again; with Alastor having merely been taunted for two months with the hope of getting back the best friend he's ever had, before being rewarded for his audacity in daring to think he'd found a cross-dimensional loophole around his rightful punishment for his betrayal.

He can save them both time by apologizing for inconveniencing Sir Pentious, walking out the door, and never coming back.

"I'm sorry." Start there. But he can't let go. (Isn't that the whole problem?) And he can't be the one to turn his back on Sir Pentious. If Sir Pentious throws him out, so be it—but this time, at least, it's going to be for the truth, not for what Alastor leaves Sir Pentious to assume. "For—for what little it's worth—lust never factored into it. And I never—I do—we *are* friends. I've never thought otherwise. I'm not trying to come between you and your fiancée. I've always—I've tried to let you take the lead, to... to decide when and how to touch—*because* we're friends, I—it was your right to set the limits."

Sir Pentious

*For what little it’s worth … we are friends.*

These few words were enough to send stabs of agony through his chest, and Sir Pentious wasn’t much for subtlety. His eyes widened again, and he clutched at where his black heart ought to be. He shouldn’t be feeling enraged, betrayed at all! He shouldn’t be! *Penley, you idiot, what are you doing? So obsessed with yourself, you’re making this all about you, too. Looking for reasons to be alone again, aren’t you?*

But it DID hurt. It *did* hurt. There was something here, something that hurt beyond all measure–if Alastor truly wanted to be his friend, if Alastor, of all damned sinners in this inferno of suffering, truly loved him… wasn’t that a lie? It wasn’t him that he loved, it was… a different man. The same man, but different.

Rage wet his eyes, and he brought up a sleeve to wipe at them–*no*, do not *cry* in front of ~~*your enemies*~~ *anyone else* you damned old fool. Least of all The Radio Demon! Do you want to get laughed at???

*He wouldn’t laugh at me. He is my friend.*

*HE IS NOT* YOUR *FRIEND. YOU ARE A* SUBSTITUTE.

With that wicked quickness the King Cobra is known for, Sir Pentious closes the gap between them, his hood flared out as he bares those yellow fangs of his, “DON’T **FUCK** WITH ME, YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD I SET LIMITS WHEN I THOUGHT ALL IT WAS WAS SSOMETHING WITHOUT SSSUCH FEELINGSSS INVOLVED!? THOUGHT YOU COULD GET A LAUGH OUT OF ME, THE LONELY INVENTOR!!! I WAS JUSSST A SSSSSUBSSSTITUTE FOR YOUR SSSSERPENT. IF YOU HADN’T **FUCKED THINGSSS UP** BACK THEN, THEN WE’D NEVER HAVE BECOME FRIENDSS!!!!”

Oh, he was going for the jugular now. All of that pain was coming out now! And though he’d wiped his eyes, the tears brimming were unmistakable. Lonely Sir Pentious was crying.

Alastor

Alastor leans back when Sir Pentious looms over him, gripping the edge of the bench as he fights down the automatic instinct to defend himself.

*If you hadn't fucked things up*—He flinches like he was slapped. Sir Pentious is right. He's right, and Alastor knows it, and they're the same words he's told himself for the past fifty-four years; but they hurt so much more in that voice. They hurt so much more seeing the fury and pain and tears in Sir Pentious's eyes. The last time he saw Sir Pentious like that, it was among the ruins of his flagship, begging Alastor to explain why he'd just destroyed everything they'd worked for.

And yet, Sir Pentious is *wrong.* "You—think I've been laughing at you?!" He lets out a high, nervous, hysterical laugh—NO that is the EXACT WRONG PANIC REACTION for this situation—he claps a hand over his mouth with the sound of a radio dial firmly clicking off and just shakes his head *no* until he's sure he can control his voice.

"Maybe we wouldn't have met—and maybe you started out as a substitute for mine, but—you aren't now! I know you, not well enough, but well enough to see that the things I value in him *do* exist in you, and where you differ, I value you on your own merits! And if mine slithered in right this second, said all was forgiven, invited me onto his airship, and promised everything I've ever wanted—it would hurt to leave! I'd *miss* the picnics, sitting around watching ASMR videos, sparring with you, figuring out how to cook for you—even how you *breathe.*" He's digging himself the deepest grave Hell's ever seen. At least let Sir Pentious hate him for the right reasons.

Sir Pentious

That was most assuredly the worst possible panic reaction, and it would have ruined whatever it was Alastor was trying to do here–had he not continued. Sir Pentious stared, watching him explain himself, watching him dig a hole so deep he might as well have ended up in Heaven after all.

Perhaps that hole would have made Penny hate him more, but instead… he felt his chest ache further, and he grabbed at his hood, *pulling* it *harshly* to compensate for the pain, to try to keep himself grounded. Alastor was listing off things about him, things that he and Al had done together. Things that were somehow special between the two of them.

Picnics and silly little videos and making ridiculous jokes about things nobody else would care about nor have reference for. Alastor had been the closest in years for someone that Sir Pentious could have related to—he wanted so badly for that companionship, that *understanding* with another demon in Hell who *really understood him.* And now, more than ever, he really had it.

Valera would often list things that Penny did, talked about how much she loved him. The way he is always making some kind of sound, his mannerisms for talking, the way he cares so deeply for her… Every time she’d do so, he could feel his chest swell with such love and passion. It was always too much for him to handle in those moments… words always failed him, he could think of naught to say except “Thank you”, which scraped the bare minimum of how he felt about her.

And Alastor… he had begun to do it, too. It was obvious now, to Sir Pentious, that Alastor had since stopped talking about things that likely *any* Genius Inventor Supervillain had done, and rather had began to talk *specifically* about him. It made him feel seen in ways only Valera had made him feel before.

They *loved* him, and he *hated* himself.

One hundred and fifty years of self loathing

was having a difficult time combatting all of this **love.**

Sir Pentious leaned back, and attempted to speak–he pointed a finger at Alastor, fangs bared as he prepared to let loose into another barrage of insults, of *cutting* words… only to find himself *unable* to speak.

He tried again, and again, to no avail with each attempt. Here he was, forcibly speechless, as panic began to steal him away. His eyes widened further, and he began to scratch at his throat, *furiously ashamed* with this total failure he was showing himself to be. *How pitiful, Sir Pentious. And you wonder why █████ left you. You can never be counted on when you’re needed most.*

Alastor

It's a barbed wire-wrapped sword through his heart when Sir Pentious's expression of fury melts into panic and he starts clawing at his own throat.

"No, oh no." He automatically reaches up, grabs Sir Pentious's hands, and pulls them down. His hands feel like they're holding red hot irons.

"*I'm sorry.* I shouldn't touch you. But I'm not letting you hurt yourself on my account." It's the first time this whole conversation he's felt like he sounds like himself, albeit an unusually serious version of himself. "If you need someone to claw up, let it be me."

Acid blood, Sir Pentious had called it; brain-storms, they were called in Alastor's time—temporary bouts of madness brought on by distress too great for a rational human mind to endure. And Alastor is the one who pushed Sir Pentious into this one. His mind races as he tries to figure out how to fix his damage. (Stupid question. He doesn't fix it. He knows that. Didn't he himself tell Sir Pentious he's better at knocking things down than setting them back up? Didn't Sir Pentious call him a wrecking ball?)

Sir Pentious

They might as *well* have been red hot irons–Sir Pentious’ eyes were glowing brightly, wide as they were. At this proximity, Alastor would be able to feel the tremor running under that grip–He tried so hard to mask it, but he was trembling from the intensity of his emotions.

Still, that *smile.* It wasn’t quite as strong as he knew Alastor was capable of, but the fact he could see it at all cut him to ribbons on the inside. Sir Pentious, in his haze of self loathing and fear of being a joke, took that smile as confirmation despite Alastor only saying the opposite. How many times must he say it before you *believe* him, Penny?

So close now, and he could easily pull away–but instead, he sought to cause pain. This was his way of coping, and he always managed to hurt the ones he cared about. Why should now be any different? He had bitten Valera when he was like a feral beast, and here he would tear Alastor apart in just the way he wanted. After all, he *offered.*

His hood flaring out and a monstrous *hiss* escaping his throat, Sir Pentious lunged his head forward, burying his fangs into the base of Alastor’s neck, right where it met the shoulder. He easily penetrated the flesh, sinking in to the gums as his eyes carried *madness.* Not only had he bitten him, but it was the same place he’d bitten him before, two months ago.

Alastor

He gasps in with an awful feedback noise, pain shooting across his neck and over his shoulder. On some level, he isn't surprised. On some level, he realizes, he was hoping for this.

He doesn't know if Sir Pentious intends it as his forgiveness, his penance, or his punishment.

And between the pain and the uncertainty and the knowledge that even though it's agony he's still not worthy of it—he finally breaks. He bursts into noisy, crackling sobs, his voice hardly audible under the distortion, shaking so hard he might not be able to sit up if Sir Pentious himself wasn't inadvertently holding him up by the shoulder.

"I'm sorry!" He clings desperately to Sir Pentious, he can't stop himself. He's talking fast, words spilling out, trying to get it all out before Sir Pentious stops listening to him for good. "*I'm sorry.* I know you hate how I feel, I hate it too. I'd shut it off if I could! It's why I ruined everything and *ran*, because I'm a *coward* and I was *afraid* of what love would make me—I was afraid of being *this.* I'm sorry you have to put up with it too!"

One hand curls clawlike into Sir Pentious's lapels to pull him closer and his fangs deeper. This is going to be the last time. He has to make it hurt. "I wish it—I *wish* it could have been something good for you. I'd fantasized about confessing someday—when you needed proof of my loyalty, I could have made some—some grand gesture—"here, here's your proof, here's how you know I'll never betray you!" Even if you don't reciprocate, I'd hoped you could—could draw strength from it! Here's one more person who esteems you so highly! Here's one more more person who would give you Heaven and Hell! Here's one more person who would do anything to see you happy and triumphant! But I can't even do that much for you, I—I'm so *sorry*—"

He can't get any more out. His last few words break up like a signal in a tunnel, and all he's left with is wordless sobbing and shaking.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious had a chance now, to spill his venom into Alastor. He had a chance to watch him *writhe* in physical agony to match the swirling intensity that the serpent felt inside. But it was clear, from the way the deerman broke so suddenly in his jaws, that Penny realized there was no need.

Alastor was *shattered* in a way that Penny had never, ever seen him. Never heard him. This man, who carried himself with such superiority and class, now a broken, sobbing ruin of a demon clung to the hellish gentleman’s body. He wasn’t goading him, he wasn’t boasting. He wasn’t destroying everything he’d built only to run off or laugh in his face.

He was just… miserable. And it was misery that Sir Pentious could not enjoy… it reminded him of his own wretched wailing when Valera had been there to hold him, too. Suddenly, Alastor stopped being The Radio Demon to Sir Pentious, and had become something else.

*Al. My best friend. You’re not so bad, you old bastard.*

But he wasn’t in the right mind to forgive him, just yet. Forgiveness… what a laughable thing for a *demon* to consider. He pulled his teeth from Alastor’s neck, staring him hard in the face as tears of his own ran down his cheeks. That horrid smile of Alastor’s, twisted with intense sadness…

“Ssstop *sssmiling*, you imbecile.”

He brings his hands up, grabbing at Alastor’s face with both of them, and *forcing* the corners of that mad grin down, to the best of his ability, even if his talons pinched that face. Once he was done with that, he’d return the hug, tightly, his tail slowly wrapping up the other as the most grounding thing he could think of. Emotional intimacy was not his strong suit, but Valera had taught him some things, too.

“… JUSSST… BREATHE… AT THE SAME TIME AS ME. FOLLOW *MY* LEAD.”

Alastor

He can't meet Sir Pentious's gaze; he squeezes his eyes shut automatically. And immediately opens them again when Sir Pentious touches his face. He's distantly surprised to be told he *is* still smiling. He can't feel it at all. The crumbling remains of his smile collapse effortlessly under Sir Pentious's hands and he bites his lower lip, the corners of his mouth twitching like he doesn't know what to do with them when they aren't twisted up.

Why is he being *held*? He doesn't deserve this. But he leans into it, eyes shutting again, face pressed to Sir Pentious's shoulder, arms wrapped tight around his back. He can feel Sir Pentious's chest rising and falling with each breath—it's the most reassuring feeling, the most reassuring sound in the world. He can breathe. He can do that.

His shuddering reduces, his sobs slowly stop. He isn't sure if he's still crying or if it's just the old tears clinging to his face. But he's breathing. And he's—god, how did this happen?—he's exactly where he's wanted to be for the last fifty-four years.

He croaks, "If you're planning to exterminate me, please make it now." Cue the world's tinniest laugh track.

Sir Pentious

Satan himself, it actually worked. He managed to… calm Alastor down. He’d done exactly what Valera had done for him before, and… well, he sold himself short, now didn’t he? He’d calmed down Valera before, too. Maybe he didn’t destroy everything he touched. Maybe… he was good at maintaining his relationships, after all. Why, these two thought he was good enough to willingly be around, so… maybe he could give himself a chance, too.

The love aspect that was added on… Pentious still wasn’t sure what to do with that. Could he handle knowing that Alastor loved him? That every action between the two of them had this tension? Or would it only have tension if he allowed it to? Sir Pentious bumped his forehead to Alastor’s, a little rougher than usual to at least show he was irritated…

“YOU ARE OFF THE AIR. GIVE YOURSSSELF A BREAK.”

He adjusts the deerman’s monocle, and straightens up his suit, before he reaches into his own suit jacket and pulls out a handkerchief. Penny moves to undo the neck portion of Alastor’s suit, so that he could place the handkerchief inside and on his shoulder–but he stops himself, instead just handing him the cloth.

“…I AM ANGRY WITH YOU. I AM FRUSSSTRATED AND I DO NOT KNOW WHEN I WILL FEEL ABLE TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOU AGAIN. BUT I WILL WANT THISSSS HANDKERCHIEF BACK, DO YOU UNDERSSSTAND? SSSSO. DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM ME, ALASSSTOR. I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN IF YOU EVEN *THINK* ABOUT RUNNING AWAY FROM ME.”

His own voice was hoarse, despite how loud it was, and he was clearly tired from crying and shouting. Sir Pentious looked thoroughly tired, as if he had been drinking and yet he’d had not a drop. Emotionally drained, and all out of spoons.

Alastor

Alastor is more than capable of tidying himself up, and under any other circumstances he *would,* irritably pushing off whoever dared try to fuss over him—but it's such a shock that *Sir Pentious* is doing it, and it's so *nice*, he just stands there in stunned silence, letting him.

He numbly takes the handkerchief, and for a moment stares blankly at it before figuring out what it's for. He quickly undoes his bow tie—his fingers twitch when he remembers whose it is—and then hastily undoes his collar and slides the handkerchief under.

"I can send it back this evening after I launder it." His voice is filtered through a radio again—Sir Pentious is wrong, he's *always* on air—with the crackles and pops like an old phonogram record complimenting the hoarseness of his own voice. He looks down to avoid meeting Sir Pentious's gaze, realizes that doesn't solve the problem, and glances to the side. "If you're trying to use the handkerchief to say that you see this ending some way other than never wanting to speak to me again... then be more direct."

A few members of the invisible studio audience weakly chuckle. Alastor waves them off with his free hand, muttering, "Shut *up,* not the time," then winces as the gesture makes his shoulder sting.

Sir Pentious

Ah, he was called out. It gets a frustrated look out of him, but… you know. That’s exactly the kind of thing he’d have said to Alastor, before. Sir Pentious folds his arms, flinching a little as the pain from having scratched at himself reminds him that it is still present.

“… I DON’T WANT YOU TO RUN AWAY FROM ME, BECAUSE I WANT TO SSSEE YOU AGAIN, ON MY TERMSSS. BUT IF I SSEE YOU TOO SSOON… I MIGHT HATE YOU FOREVER.”

A deep inhale, and slow exhale. Sir Pentious slowly unravels his tail from around the other demon, though it remains behind him in case he cannot stand on his own, “… I REQUIRE TIME TO PROCESS THISS, ALASSSTOR. PERHAPSS YOU ARE RIGHT, THAT I SHOULD NEVER WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU EVER AGAIN. BY ALL ACCOUNTSS, I OUGHT TO AGREE WITH THAT AND NEVER SSSPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!”

His tail lashes with some irritability, and now it’s his turn to avoid any kind of eye contact. “… But. I sstill want to. I do not want you to leave. I have… *fun* when you are around. The kind of fun that I never had before… Because. I do not have friends. There are very few people who would want to be around me.” Blast it he was rambling on again. He covers his face with a hand, grimacing as all he can taste on his tongue is Alastor’s blood. It made him dizzy with misery. “I will be on Okkylk. When I am ready to take back the handkerchief, I will pick it up in *person.*”

Alastor

He listens to the half-threats as stoically as he can with his smile missing—he feels naked and raw and exposed—and he fears that with his face twitching after every sentence, it's not nearly as stoic as he'd like to think.

His heart nearly leaps into his throat when Sir Pentious says he wants Alastor to stay—then plummets back down. It's not because it's Alastor's friendship, specifically, that he values; it's because he needs anyone's friendship, and Alastor's the one offering it. Piss-poor and putrid though it is. He already knew that, didn't he? Hadn't he said to Valera that Sir Pentious doesn't like Alastor—he just likes that Alastor likes him? He wishes he could bring anything more to the table than this desperate last resort friendship—but he shot any chances of that in the head decades ago.

He nods wearily. "You know where to find me. You won't hear a peep out of me until you come calling, barring emergencies—overheard assassination plots or the like."

Sir Pentious

How they hated themselves. If he'd known that Alastor had come to that conclusion, well... maybe he'd have said something else. But as it stood, right now, Sir Pentious was beyond exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to wrap himself up in his fiancee, to breathe her in and feel some form of comfort after all of *this*...

It wasn't fair to think of it that way, he knew that Alastor was suffering, but what could he do? His cup was empty, and he could not pour from it. His eyes looked back up to see that pitiful expression, and... he gestured with his index talon--a smiley face. "... YOU CAN SSMILE AGAIN, ALASSTOR. YOU'RE NOT DRESSED WITHOUT IT." Ha...ha. Ha. He immediately looks like he regrets the sentence before he turns, and begins to slither back through the piping.

How he hated himself, but they loved him.

Alastor

He attempts a smile. He fails. He isn't surprised. He almost responds "*No, I can't,*" but Sir Pentious is dealing with enough of Alastor's personal problems. He doesn't need another.

He watches Sir Pentious go; pulls the bow tie out from around his collar, drops it on the workbench beside the travel mug; and then melts into the shadows.

#hissandvinegar #chat log

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thecandywrites · 4 years ago

Text

Blood For Gold Part 10

Woop woop lets see how much we can burn now that the fire is lit. And may I introduce you to Audra’s brothers. From bottom left to right. Axalarize, aka Axal, Azaxie aka Zax, and last but not least Ocearian, aka Ren. Now lets get this party started. Also many thanks to @kriskukko for sharing that orc regency art and to @punkhorse96 for all your amazing feedback.

Blood For Gold

Part 10

The next day, it was decided that you all should take a flight. Now because the Raymond’s were royalty and could afford it, they had griffins and pegasus’ but because all the Voyambi’s had ever ridden were horses, that left the pegasus’ to the Voyambis and Jane and the griffins for the mouras. The Voyambi women were especially excited because while on horses on the ground, society dictated that they had to ride sidesaddle. But anything with wings, meant you had to ride astride and be strapped into the saddle, or fall off and die and luckily Bennie and Calla had extra riding suits and so did you so that all the Voyambi women, and Jane could ride the pegasus and thankfully their brothers also had extra riding outfits for the Voyambi gentlemen.

“Now remember, the higher up you go, the thinner the air is, when it gets hard to breathe, you pull the pegasus down so you can breathe easier and then once you catch your breath, you can pull up again, even if you’re by yourself, if you can’t breathe, pull down, I don’t want you passing out. We’re just flying around the palace. And remember these guys know where home is, even if you feel lost. They can fly home, I made sure to ask Mama Yalin to arrange for you to fly the safest pegasus she has.” You encouraged Jane as you helped her get into the saddle and tie her to it, making sure she felt safe and secure despite her nerves while her older, very tame pegasus was nearly half asleep simply standing there, even their wings were drooping.

Meanwhile Demsey could not take his eyes off of your rear in tight leather pants because flying suits were full body leather suits, lined with fur because of the cold temperatures of higher altitudes with special heels for the stirrups and your leather suit, despite being lined with the most luxurious fur, was still hugging your body like a second skin and showed off every physical asset you had in the most flattering, if not alluring light possible.

“If you stare at her arse any harder you’ll burn a hole through that leather.” Sierge warned Demsey from his spot on his own pegasus next to his brother since they had been strapped in as well, even though Sierge was guilty of the same thing with Bennie as he was tempted to just bite her plump and bountiful arse himself and had to actively keep swallowing his drool.

“Wouldn’t that be nice.” Demsey sighed dreamily which made Sierge snicker a laugh before Demsey seemed to remember himself and clear his throat awkwardly before he watched you finish up with Jane and check in with Callie and Amara as Bennie was helping Kiera herself before you went over to the griffin that Ramsey had gotten for you.

“This is Charlico, he’s a five year old stallion, one of the best in the barn besides Ma’ma’s Hecatarus.” Ramsey proudly announced as Charlico was decked out in a royal saddle with all kinds of accessories.

“Well hello there Charlico, aren’t you gorgeous.” You cooed to the massive griffin who was speckled and spackled with a calico’s colors, who lowered his head to get a good look at you before you reached out and let him sniff you before slowly petting up his beak then gently petting him over his head, bonding with him a little before the flight as he let you pet him.

“Do we have any itchy spots? Show me the itchies.” You invited to him, your voice almost sounding babyish but Charlico seemed to revel in your attentions as you dipped your fingers past his outer feathers to his skin and instinctively seemed to find the right spots as Demsey and Ramsey both seemed to watch on adoringly as Charlico practically became a big puppy before you, letting you scratch and rub wherever you wanted, especially under his chin and around it’s skull as he moved his head around like a swivvel so you could scratch the really itchy spots as Charlico’s eyes fluttered shut in bliss before you went around the saddle to make sure Charlico was comfortable wearing it and making sure none of his feathers or fur was ruffled before you took off the extra safety straps from the saddle.

“Why are you taking those off?” Ramsey asked nervously. Because his own Griffen was decked out in a matching saddle and straps and now he feared you wouldn't match, not unless your own flying skill exceeded his own.

“Because Charlico is uncomfortable with them. I ride with a illeaze saddle back home, so I don’t need these and I want Charlico’s first flight with me to be comfortable for him, well as comfortable as it can be for him anyway.” You answered as you went under Charlico only for him to peek down under himself to see what you were doing under him as you double checked the straps under him before giving him a good tummy rub while you were down there which Charlico really enjoyed before you went around his rear and started scratching around his tail which got him to start kicking his hind leg like a dog as you scratched even harder for a few moments before that particular itch had been sated before you pet down his tail and then back up his body as you kept cooing “good boy” to Charlico as you finished with him as Demsey noticed that Bennie and Calla were doing the same things to their griffins and mused it must have been a moura thing while Ramsey had never been more jealous of a griffin in his life because what he would give to be pet and scratched and cooed to and praised like that. He even paid his whores extra just for that but they didn’t do so genuinely so it wasn't satisfying.

“So what’s an illeaze saddle?” Demsey asked as he walked his pegasus, Alaphonse closer.

“It’s basically a bareback pad but for griffins, only very advanced riders should ever attempt at riding in one, it takes a ton of body strength and endurance to hang on. Because with you, you’re strapped in seven ways from Sunday, with illeaze, there’s only about three to five straps, usually just one clip, most illeaze riders have a gliding suit so they can slip off the griffin mid flight and soar and glide on their own before reuniting with their griffin again in the air.” Ramsey answered proudly before you reached your arms behind you and pulled out your own hidden, folding gliding wings that were disguised as furls on your suit.

“See?” You said as you twirled in place to show them off before you unhooked them and tucked them back behind you as Ramsey helped you get on Charlico and got a little too handsy when he was strapping you in which you barely tolerated as Demsey could clearly see you were not pleased that Ramsey was touching you and to him was more proof that you were not going to be willing in that match.

In fact it burned him up inside, he wanted to strip out of this suit and get off this pegasus and stomp over there and rip Ramsey’s arms off for touching you without your consent but he knew such a thing would be improper, not to mention uncivilized but that’s what his instincts were demanding of him anyway, and they were incredibly strong and almost overpowering his reason as his own pegasus seemed to snort and paw the ground, sensing Demsey’s quiet rage and only when Ramsey left to get on his own griffin did you finally unzip your coat to reveal your silk lined wool layer under the leather which was seductively low cut and the way it was cut and fit to you and with the moura bra and underwear undergarments you were wearing, gave you ample cleavage so as to give your sweating chest some air because you were burning up in this fur lined leather bodysuit in the late morning sun as the temperature slowly rose and Demsey almost fell off his pegasus watching you unzip your jacket and expose your glistening chest and it filled his mind with the most lurid thoughts of stripping you out of it and licking up that sweat with his tongue before his cock grew hard and snaked down his leg along the soft fur and hard leather of his flying suit and hard leather chapps and the leather brace to keep his pelvis practically glued to the saddle and thanks to the beginner saddle he was wearing, no one would know it but it still caused his cheeks to get almost impossibly dark green.

“Are we all ready?” Yalin asked from atop Hecatarus, herself decked out in the royal riding attire in bright red and gold as everyone else confirmed that they were ready.

“Then let’s go, pegasus’ riders, follow Gregori, griffin riders, follow me to the launch pad.” She invited before she turned and all of you followed her single file before she broke out into a run, causing all the mouras to giggle gleefully and the others closely following her so as not to be left behind before she ran down a short runway to a large spring board and her griffin pounced onto the spring board and leapt into the air as Demsey and his siblings watched in awed wonder as all of you followed suit, laughing as you all took to their air and started to climb as the pegasus’ began to trot, canter and then run, flapping their mighty wings to gain lift from a tall ramp, jumping off the end and gliding into the air. Jane and Demsey’s sisters giving a little yelp as they instinctively were ready for a diving, falling feeling but instead felt the pegasus’ gain lift and opened their eyes before laughing in delight that they were flying, their nerves and anxiousness leaving them with every beat of their pegasus’ mighty wings as they watched as the griffin riders began to do acrobatics, loops, and corkscrews and dives as you happily let go of Charlico’s reins and let him do as he pleased as he began showing off his special tricks that he had been taught for you as you let your arms stretch out like wings too and simply laughed and praised Charlico for his skills and tricks and Demsey had never seen any woman look as beautiful, and free and absolutely perfect as you- riding on the back of a griffin, only holding onto him via your legs but otherwise you were as free as any bird as he resolved that you should forever know and have such freedom and pleasure as he soon took a liking to this and got the hang of it before he could see shadows of other great flying creatures flying in, one was clearly a dragon while the others were griffins.

You looked up and nearly stopped breathing when you could have sworn you recognized Axal’s dragon Grevu. Grevu was a striking red and black dragon.

“Charlico, come on, we need to fly closer to them.” You urged your griffen before he obeyed and flew you closer as the whole party started flying faster towards you and from this distance you could hear faint yelling, almost sounding like your name as you also flew faster towards them and the closer you got the more you could swear that these riders were your brothers but you didn’t want to hope to dare to believe it, it was too good to be true but within shouting distance, you heard it, your name, being shouted by your brothers whose voices you could recognize anywhere and sure enough, that was clearly Axal’s dragon Grevu and your brother Axal riding him and Azaxie, riding his griffin Moonclaw, and your brother Ocearian, riding Mistwing and your own griffin, Heavencrest carrying a pack load but clearly enough room for you to ride her on her saddle and your squeal of delight at recognizing them was clearly heard as the others had followed you.

“Heavencrest, come here baby!” You called to her before your brother Axal let her lead go so she could fly to you as Charlico immediately seemed to like her as he started trying to show off to her, flying close to her and spinning in front of her, showing off his dexterity as you hung on and laughed. Every male griffin acted that way to Heavencrest because she was magnificent in color and build.

“Charlico, clasp paws with Heavencrest, I’m dismounting you and mounting her.” You told Charlico as you called Heavencrest to you and told her the same thing as the two then joined claws like eagles and began to dive, turning their wings into a light corkscrew as you eagerly untied and unhooked yourself from Charlico and climbed down his body and legs before climbing up Heavencrest’s legs to climb into her saddle while Demsey, who was honestly scared for you but still impressed by this daring do, dove beside you while Ramsey and Axal did the same.

“Show off!” Axal teased you before you flipped him off which got Axal to laugh as you climbed into the saddle and pulled in her reins and lead and told them both to let go as they did, mere minutes away from the surface before both took flight again. Charlico continuing to fly with Heavencrest as Demsey, Ramsey, Axal, Azaxie and Ocearian flew around you, all your brothers taking turns flying upside down over you to greet you.

“What are you doing here?!” You asked Axal as he was the first to do so.

“We were invited to come by your hosts, we couldn’t stay away.” Axal informed you before he finished the loop and flew next to you.

“Ah, I see,” you nodded. Under Ramsey’s order no doubt. He really was pulling out every stop for you, but you weren’t going to refuse such a precious gift, no matter who was giving it to you.

However it was in the air that Axal and Ramsey first got to lay eyes on each other and both seemed to stare in wonder at each other.

Axal was himself, rather ridiculously handsome and being pansexual, was attracted to most individuals, but Ramsey’s heart leapt for joy while his stomach lurched as they continued to stare at each other. Here he had avoided getting married because he had always wanted the happiness of his parents, but he could never find the perfect fit. Finally seeing you two years ago, he had felt an initial pull towards you and because of all the pressure his parents had put onto him to marry, he had excused himself from it saying that his perfect bride had already married another. When Edward had died not even a year later, his father had burst into his room and happily announced that in a year- you would be free to wed him and his perfect bride would be available yet again and the pressure was back on.

But at the same time, he had never felt such panic, immediately trying to ease the sensation by throwing himself into his vices and when he saw you at the Savoy, he knew it was now or never, and everything was coming to a head because if he did not secure you, he was done for, you were it, you were the last hope he had of saving himself. But seeing Axal, Ramsey immediately knew that marrying you was going to be a mistake, because as perfect as you seemed to be, he was forcing a connection with you and he could feel your hesitance and reluctance and while he could understand and sympathize with you, he didn’t feel he had much of a choice, it was either marry you or lose everything. But just one look at Axal and it was like lightning struck but in the most blissful way, there, surrounded by the heavenly clouds and crisp clean air, there was the perfect being, his match, riding the most kick ass dragon he had ever seen in his life and he couldn't help himself, he swooned. He already knew just in that instance that his family would not look kindly to it, would not accept this twist of fate.

Meanwhile Axal stared in awed wonder at Ramsey, feeling his heart and soul alight with joy. There on an amazing griffen, sat a handsome man, mature, striking, distinguished and best of all, royal. He could tell by his clothes and saddle, the classic red and gold while he was in the same exact shade of red and black himself, complimentary if he said so himself.

“Hi, what’s your name?” Axal asked as he flew next to Ramsey, upside down over him actually, a feat, especially while riding a dragon and a stunt for anyone.

“I’m Dauphin Ramsey Raymond, and you?” Ramsey asked back.

“Hi, what’s your name?” Ocearan asked Jane as he rode above her, also upside down, showing off his own skill as she gawked at him as she had never seen a man so handsome before.

“Axalarize Saharrazat, Divan of Kilan, Audravienne’s twin brother, but you can call me Axal, thank you so much for inviting us.” Axal answered. “Those are my brothers, Azaxie and Ocearan, Zax and Ren for short, the rest of my family is coming by train, we decided to come early by flight, obviously.” Axal pointed to his brothers who had somehow zeroed right in on Charlotte and Jane after saying hi to you then introducing themselves to Yalin and Gregori and saying hi to the others.

“Hi, what’s your name?” Ocearan asked Jane as he rode above her, also upside down, showing off his own skill as she gawked at him as she had never seen a man so handsome before.

“Countess Jane Morrigan, and you?” She called back.

“Ocearan Saharazat, Divan of Kilan, friends call me Ren, which you're welcome to too, it’s a pleasure to meet you- your grace.” He greeted before turning his griffen to ride side by side with her.

He did not have the same gold eyes you did, but his eyes were the very color of the ocean, she mused it must have inspired his name.

“How often do you fly?” He asked.

“Never, this is my first time,” Jane confessed.

“No! You’re a natural! You look like you were born to do it.” Ocearan insisted.

“Thank you but I’m quite scared actually, I feel at any moment I might fall off.” Jane admitted even though her legs were squeezing her pegasus so tightly, she worried she might break it’s ribs.

“Even if you did, I would catch you, you can count on that.” Ocearan insisted and Jane couldn’t help it, she giggled then laughed as her cheeks stained rose as she finally felt herself relax a little.

You were so overjoyed to be reunited with Heavencrest though, you weren’t paying a lick of attention to anyone else as you had her flying in a loop, unhooking yourself at the apex of the top, flipping in the air and then landing in the saddle again at the bottom of the loop, giving your body the work out of its life but laughing your ass off doing so while Demsey noticed that Axal and Ramsey were in conversation and distracted and chose to stay as close to you as he could, just watching as you did feat after feat with your griffin, while Charlico was doing feats as well in unison with Heavencrest as you seemed to flip from one griffin to the other in the air. It was like watching a fearless acrobat and you never looked so happy or so at home, it was like watching a night blooming flower finally open up, it was incredible.

But you looked over at Demsey and noticed he was gasping for breath before you latched onto Heavencrest.

“Demsey! We need to dive!” You hollered at him as all the happiness and joy that had overwhelmed you one moment vanished and was replaced with worry when you noticed how hard Demsey was gasping for air.

“What? Why?” Demsey asked, his voice failing as his eyes became a little bloodshot from the strain of his body for oxygen.

“Because you’re not breathing right and you’re about to pass out, we gotta dive, come on, fly with me,” you invited him as made a trill call to Charlico who soon flew to Demsey’s other side as Heavencrest and Charlico helped lead Alphonse down lower as steep as you dared with Demsey and just as Demsey heard and barely got a chance to register what you said- everything faded to black and he passed out and went limp on the saddle, but thanks to the saddle he was in, only his arms laid limp at his sides as his head lolled back and forth as you just shook your head, reached over and took the reins and had Charlico guide you back to the barn and it wasn’t until you landed and you were leading the pegasus back to the barn when he awoke and jolted awake and yelled.

“What the?!” He asked as he startled awake.

“Hey, welcome back to the land of the living.” You greeted over your shoulder as you led Alaphonse, your jacket open and hanging off the back of you, revealing only your silk lined wool under garment, with the sleeves rolled up, revealing your forearms as you led the pegasus, while Charlico and Heavencrest practically frollicked together in the landing strip, playing like cubs despite their saddles and loads.

“What...what happened?” Demsey asked.

“You stayed too high for too long, there’s less oxygen the higher in the air you go and you didn’t dive fast enough to the richer air and passed out. So I had Alaphonse fly you back while Heavencrest and Charlico flew on either side to make sure you would be ok. Thank the gods you were wearing a full saddle and fully strapped in.” You answered as you patted his strapped- in and chapp covered leg.

“I’m, I’m sorry.” He apologized running his hands down his face because as soon as you were done showing off your own skill, he was going to try to show off too but no, he passed out like a weakling, and cut the flight short for both of you. The opposite of his plans and intentions.

“For what? It happens all the time, I’m actually impressed you lasted that long in the first place, most only last a few minutes, you lasted almost an hour, that’s a very impressive feat, probably due to your orcish heritage, used to adapting to any and all climates.” You reassured him.

“Yeah but you’re grounded with me, you were happy and free up there and the last thing I wanted to do was pull you away, you could still go back up, really, I'm fine and recovered and can take Alaphonse back.” Demsey confessed and if there weren’t servants quickly walking over to you, you would be jumping up into that saddle with him and kiss the sweet man.

“Aww, thank you, I greatly appreciate the sentiment but do you have any idea how much energy and strength it takes to fly the way I do? A ton. And honestly, I’ve had my fill for today and I haven’t flown in about two years, it was the perfect reintroduction into it. And you gave me the perfect excuse to get away from Ramsey, thankfully he’s still distracted with Axal and actually I haven’t been able to spot them since Ramsey got off his own griffin and got on Grevu with Axal, they flew off to who knows where, Gregori and Yalin are at least flying with your parents, they’re over the trees on the other side of the palace.” You informed him before you looked over to see Heavencrest get mounted by Charlico.

“Ugh, really?” You asked rhetorically as Charlico was very vigorous in his mounting, crooning loudly.

“What are they…oh.” Demsey began to ask before he seemed to realize what was going on.

“They’re making cubs, but the problem is I probably can’t afford that stud fee.” You muttered as you just shook your head and kept on walking.

“You know you don’t have to keep walking me, I’m sure there’s more room on here, I could at least walk you over to Heavencrest so you can ride her back to the stables or just walk you back if you wish.” Demsey offered before you paused and gave him an appreciative glance over your shoulder.

“Sure.” You readily agreed as you put the reins back into his hands and then took his outstretched hand and nearly squealed in delight when he easily pulled you up to ride behind him in the saddle before you sat behind him, pressing your front up to his back after untying all the straps in back that tied him to the back of of the saddle so that your front and his back could be flush together before he quickly turned the pegasus and clicked his teeth to get it into a canter and was so happy to feel you hold onto him as you easily moved with him in the saddle as he went across the field to where Heavencrest was now splayed out in the grass with Charlico in a state of bliss next to her, covering her with his wing so their bodies were next to each other.

“Aww, I don’t have the heart to break that up. Heavy Baby,” you whistled before she lifted her head and looked over at you.

“Shield.” You instructed in maranai just as the other servants were once again coming closer before she and Charlico got up and put their wings up to shield you and Demsey from view.

“Go, run for the woods. Go, go, go!” You urged with a giggle before Demsey gladly kicked the pegasus into a run as it ran the two of you into the thick woods besides the landing strip and once you were well out of sight, Heavencrest and Charlico put their wings down and quickly ran away from the servants and took to the air before the servants could get a hold of them before the servants just gave up and returned to the stables as Alaphonse seemed to find and follow a little trail in the woods as your run soon slowed to a canter then a trot then a nice walk.

“Thank you,” you thanked Demsey appreciatively from behind his shoulder.

“For what?” Demsey asked turning his head to the side so he could try to see you over his shoulder.

“For doing this. I wasn’t sure you’d go for it honestly.” You answered.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Demsey found himself asking because he couldn’t fathom a reason why he wouldn’t want to do this with you. Honestly he was liable to agree to anything you suggested, also something about you just smelled heavenly, like soap, some kind of deodorant or perfume but your own personal scent was tantalizing in his nose and he was trying to turn his head off his shoulders trying to get a goof whiff of it. It was turning him on like nothing else had. It somehow smelled familiar and comforting yet thrilling and he couldn’t understand why.

“Because you’re a proper gentleman, and isn’t part of the English culture that a gentleman never be alone with a lady?” You asked.

“Well…yeah.” Demsey sighed tiredly as he seemed to remember that as he winced.

“Then thankfully we are under Dorierra’s rules where such a thing is perfectly allowed and accepted. Besides, I have the strongest conviction that my honor is perfectly safe in your presence, even when alone.” You reassured him.

“Good, because it is.” Demsey smiled proudly as he seemed to sit a little straighter and prouder and to feel you rest your head on his shoulder was just plain heavenly before they heard a bough breaking from a tree which made Alaphonse spook and bolt in one direction as the bough came crashing down right where you had been as you hung on to Demsey even tighter to stay on before Heavencrest and Charlico guiltily slinked down the trees, both of them making the ‘sorry’ noise that sounded like like husky whine.

“Really? Both of you on one branch?” You asked them as you noticed the two sets of claw marks in the wood as you slipped off Alaphonse and went digging in the cargo strapped to Heavencrest because if you had to spend another minute in this suit, you were going to melt into a puddle of sweat.

“What are you looking for?” Demsey asked as he began to get out of the riding jacket off at least, because even he was getting overheated.

“A different outfit. because even though we’re in the forest, it is a very warm spring day, we are going into summer and the heat even here is getting oppressive while wearing fur lined leather suits.” You answered before you found what you were looking for.

“Shield.” You commanded again before Charlico and Heavencrest laid down but put their wings up to shield you again so you could change in privacy.

“Oh my gods that feels so much better.” You crooned as you peeled off your leather suit and your wool underlayer and put on your brother’s pants and shirt before you slipped your boots back on.

“Shield down.” You told Heavencrest before she and Charlico both put their wings down just as you were stuffing your suit into where you had gotten your brother’s clothes after you got some other clothes from the same pack.

“Want to change too or melt in that?” You offered as you held out the change of clothes towards him.

“Will they fit?” He asked.

“You’re not that much bigger than my brothers, it’ll be fine.” You reassured him before he tried untying himself from the saddle before you put the clothes down and helped him untie himself as you got to all the ties he couldn’t reach on his legs and feet and even behind him, untying the thick waistband around his waist before he finally freed himself from the saddle and got off and took the chaps off his legs.

“What does that word “dire” mean?” He asked as walked over to where Heavencrest was laying on the ground before they put up their wings around him which made you laugh.

“It means “shield” in marinai, I was asking them to shield us with their wings, obviously.” You answered from behind the wall of feathers before you sat on the other side of Heavencrest and continued to look through her packs curiously before you found a metal canteen, thinking it was water and helped yourself before you coughed and sputtered when you realized it definitely wasn’t water before you whooped happily.

“What?” Demsey stuck his face through the feathers to look around to see you on your knees with a canteen.

“I thought this was full of water, it’s not, it’s liquor.” You answered as you held up the canteen.

“Want to try it? It’s good.” You offered it to him before he reached out a bare arm to take it from you and you could smell his body odor from his armpit and it both turned you on yet was a very comforting, if not familiar smell and you could not, in your head, understand why that was, but the gods be damned you were ready to pounce on him through Heavy’s wing as he took it and took a sip.

“Whoo! Yeah, that’s pretty strong, but yeah, it’s good, it’s sweet.” He answered before he handed it back and retreated to finish getting dressed.

“It’s spiced rum, flavored with liquors made with other tropical fruits.” You answered. “We call it rum punch, it’s very popular in Dorierra, it’s best when mixed with fresh juices from said tropical fruits,” you informed him.

“So what do I say when I want the shield to go down?” Demsey asked as he finished getting the clothes on, grateful that there seemed to be little ties to things so he could custom fit it how he wanted and needed it to.

“Dire lisafil.” You informed him.

“Dire lisafil.” He tried to repeat before Heavencrest and Charlico obeyed and let their wings down and folded them up before he stepped out of the way so Charlico could lay beside Heavencrest again before you and Demsey decided to sit at the trunk of a tree while Alaphonse continued to munch on the nearby foliage.

“So can I ask you a somewhat personal question if it means I have your confidence to keep your answer in my discretion?” You asked as you set the canteen down between you.

“Sure, anything.” Demsey invited.

“Why don’t you like Lady Whitesale?” You asked him.

“Oh that’s a loaded question.” Demsey chuckled before he grabbed the canteen and took another swig because it was the tastiest alcohol he had ever drank.

“Uh, well, for one, she’s disingenuous, she did her best to push a friendship my sisters but at the ball at Havenfield when we took up company with Calla and Bennie, she showed her true colors and snubbed us and alienated us from the other orc families in the court when we chose their company over hers. So she’s vindictive and spiteful whenever she’s not being two faced.” Demsey confessed as you nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, good job dodging a bullet with that one.” You offered which got Demsey to laugh.

“Thanks, I also agree with that sentiment and even if Bennie and Calla had not come I still would have never pursued her and she was only after me for my title anyway, she had nothing to her character that recommended her if I’m being honest and candid. Now can I ask you something kind of personal? But also know that I will keep your answer in confidence?” Demsey returned hopefully yet easily because talking to you was like talking with a dear friend and conversation came so naturally and flowed effortlessly.

“Go for it.” You invited, delighted he used your wording.

“Why don’t you like Ramsey?” He asked and you couldn’t help but laugh in turn.

“Also a loaded question, but for starters, he is very desperate to have me as a wife as soon as possible and I don’t know why and the harder he pushes the deeper I dig my heels in because I can’t fathom why a Dauphin, which is basically a prince, his age, with his status wasn’t married at least a decade ago and have kids already. Yalin told me a while ago, that he’s been a rake for most if not all of his youth and adulthood and he has had his own… I think the English term is benchmark or standard- is too high, he wants perfection in a mate who is both perfectly English and perfectly moura which I am neither because the two couldn’t be more different, which you’ll see over the next two weeks or so and he can’t find this perfect mate because she doesn’t exist, at least to my knowledge and she warned me to steer clear of him once she learned what I wanted and even warned me not to go to the places he frequents on the days he does just so that he wouldn’t try to snatch me up on sight because he has not one, two or even three mistresses, but five, one at the all the high end whorehouses and spends quite a bit of money paying for his illegitimate heirs, all eight of them, some the oldest ones are actually Jane’s age because he started using the whorehouses young with his father which, ew.” You shuddered and pretended to gag at the idea of going to a whorehouse with one of your parents.

“But somehow between her telling me that which was only a few weeks ago, because you remember that note you returned to me? I went to the Gold Finch and she was there and she was the most senior moura there and instantly she was like a mother hen and I flocked to her and we had a wonderful heart to heart and I told her about my situation and what I wanted, I wanted a marriage of the first order, a love match and she agreed and she even agreed to make me a list of suitors who would fit what I’m looking for because breed or station or title doesn’t matter to me, personality does, but she never did give me that list and now between then and the ball at Havenfield, something happened and she changed her tune and her attitude completely and now I don’t trust that what I’ve confided in her is no longer safe or strictly in her confidence. I don’t know if Ramsey somehow convinced her to change her mind or what but I can’t get her alone to talk about it with her. But now I trust her even less than I did. And now that my brothers are here, and Axal especially is here, tells me that either Bennie, or Calla but I’m betting Bennie because she was the second most valuable moura bride in the stables while I was there, because moura brides are given a particular number value, and then once I left, she’s been queen of the roost because now she’s the top bride so I’m guessing that it was her that told them to invite my family and for me, it’s not that hard to understand why they’re here.” You sighed tiredly as you took the canteen back and took another pull from it, welcoming the sweet burn that followed.

“Ok, you’re gonna have to explain the why to me because I don’t follow.” Demsey petitioned.

“Ok so, in Dorierra, every potential bride is given either the same or better education than any scholar or professor in the world. We are taught everything under the sun. And everything we are taught is put down into a document called a master resume, or simply master for short and the paper is a document that’s about this big.” You gestured with your hands to show how big the document would be and it would have been like a poster sized document.

“On one side it’s everything I’ve ever learned, who taught it to me, what I excelled in, what I was proficient in, on the other side it’s my lineage, my family tree tracing back at least a millenia and can usually be traced back to the beginning of the stables. Well Ramsey got a copy of that document. He referenced it at the ball no less than a dozen times. It’s a very expensive document to even get a copy of, most suitors don’t even get to see the master because the matchmakers- will cherry pick, like pick and choose which talents and items to create a report, to show that potential suitor based on the suitor’s culture and customs of what will best appeal to them. But the master does not show what that particular moura bride actually likes and enjoys, it gives us a personality type but that’s it. I was taught and raised to be a queen, an empress, a sultana, but do I want to be any of those things? No. I have no desire for it, no ambition or hunger for a political life because I have had more than enough intrigue in my life at Broadcove to last me at least five lifetimes. But Ramsey took one look at my master and thinks that it still applies, like it’s the gospel truth about me and it’s not, he has not made an effort at all to actually get to know me for me and he projects onto me and he won’t give me a chance to tell him otherwise.” You explained.

“He actually wants me to advise him on court life and how to gain more power and more standing in the house of lords and with the common man which I am very removed from both and the very mention of that left me running towards the bathroom to just escape him because my very soul revolted against such an idea and I can not begin to tell you how much I don’t want to do that for the rest of my life. Because as a queen and an empress, that’s a given, but as a sultana, no, if the sultan empires were still standing, I would be taken into a harem- which means a palace only for the women of the household, because once I would marry a sultan, I would then enter his harem full of women, his mother, his sisters, his brother’s mothers because sultans have a harem of wives and concubines and they have sex with all of them and have at least 50 to a hundred children if not more by at least two to six dozen wives and concubines. And once you enter that harem, the only way you leave it is by death. Now while harems are safe in that no other man except the Sultan and his family and eunuchs are allowed in the harem. It’s a fight for survival among the other women to gain the Sultan’s favor and keep it when you’re competing with all the other women and it’s all about alliances and once you have a son, getting your son on that throne and keep him alive long enough for that to happen because regicide and murder among brothers is very much a standard practice. And I can’t begin to tell you how much I would dislike even that life.” You explained as Demsey simply sat and listened attentively.

“And the thing is, I’m a very jealous, possessive person- at least in a romantic sense, which is actually rather odd considering my moura heritage but I digress. If I’m going to marry someone, I want all of them the way they can expect to have all of me, all of my loyalty and fidelity and love and devotion. One of the biggest reasons I agreed to marry Edward was because he had never had any mistresses and he only married me after his wife died, who he had been faithfully married to for most of his life had and he just wanted a kind, pretty pet to keep him company in his last years which I was happy to do. But it was under the agreement and understanding that when I survived him, I would be free, I wouldn’t have to return to the stables to do it all over again, be sold as a pet for some other old, rich guy, over and over and over again, there are some brides who have been through the stables eight times, each time they go through them their price goes up because they’ve had more and more “experience” in different courts and allies in every single one, they’re the ones who have brought in millions of pounds for the country because the bride price, that’s how the family makes their money and income and it’s the bride price that keeps the country going and it’s ridiculous because we are both oh so precious and rare- but still, just...cattle to the stable masters, and that’s why the moura contract is so protective because we’re meant to be resold and repackaged over and over again. Isn’t that pathetic?” You asked rather rhetorically.

“I finally have the freedom to marry who I want, who I find agreeable and attractive who might actually love me for me so I can do the same for them and I realize that I am not the same person I was when I left Dorierra two years ago. And I fear that now that Axal especially is here, that my brothers and family have been brought here to remind me of who I used to be and what I am, but at the same time- all of that isn’t enough for me anymore. “ You insisted.

“There’s no real, lasting happiness in that life because what are gowns and jewels compared to loyalty and fidelity, trust, equality, respect and confidence? And while the Dauphin is the most eligible bachelor in England and I could live in a palace, it would only be until Ramsey’s eyes wandered to someone else, someone younger and prettier and more accomplished who actually lives up to their master, with his heart following closely behind and then I would be stuck in a cage, a large, gilded one with a measure of security and comfort but one without warmth or love or trust or respect, and he’s wealthy enough to file for a divorce, and if he divorced me I would be ruined and penniless and shattered, I can’t live like that, he’s already too old and set in his ways and I can already tell I’m not the one to change any of that. I can’t stand a power imbalance or hypocrisy, because while Ramsey probably never would give up his lovers, the heavens forbid me from enjoying the same. And men like Ramsey who are obsessive are dangerous anyway.” You snarled.

“It starts as out innocently enough as not wanting me to dance with anyone but him, like at the ball, it was not lost on anyone because he didn’t even let me dance with you that night- that he wanted me and all of me all to himself and he even sent his sister to go with me to the bathroom, so that even there I couldn’t be free and I can almost guarantee you that if I were to marry him, I would almost immediately give up every male friend, I would have limited contact with my brothers and no contact with any male staff for fear that I would ever be led astray by another man. That’s how obsession turns into danger, because then that leads to me being secluded and alienated from anyone and everyone but him, making him my whole world which is again- very dangerous, especially emotionally. It’s the worst kind of trap.” You predicted as you tried not to cry as Demsey blinked in surprise as he suddenly realized that too.

“Yeah, I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re my family and I love them almost immeasurably, and I have missed them dearly and I’m looking forward to seeing them again, but I’m not going to allow myself to be pushed around. Not anymore.” You insisted as you shook your head no adamantly.

“Men have freedom of movement in this society and you can wake up one day and decide to change your life and you can just do it, nothing but perhaps your own wealth would stop you. Women on the other hand, they’re treated like property, like chess pieces, it’s the same here as it is in Dorierra and while at least in Dorierra I would have a bit more control and a little more freedom, I would still be subject to a system, a cycle, that I can not change, the cycle’s goal is to groom young women into professional pawns for powerful men who care not if that pawn stands or falls with every move on the board and I know I deserve better than that but until I can find a match who agrees with that point point of view- I just get to suck it up and choose as carefully as I can and use all the wisdom and discernment at my disposal because I don’t...I don’t want Ramsey, I don’t like him, I’m not attracted to him, I gave him an inch by agreeing to be his friend and he’s taking a mile which I resent. If he would be honest with me as to why he’s so hell bent on taking me for a wife and treated me like an equal and an ally instead of a new broodmare he wants to buy to complete his stables, it might be different. And if he tries to use my own family against me to either guilt me or push me into marrying him I’m just gonna leave, sell everything I own or hell, pack it up and just go to the nearest moura mountain colony and live there, I now have Heavencrest, my beautiful means of escape if I want it and I have skill enough to keep a roof over my head if I need it. I know what it means to be alone and on my own, and I’m not afraid of it if it means my own freedom. But feeling so alone in a room full of people is one of the worst tortures. Everyone else be damned.” You insisted, so happy and relieved to get that off your chest.

“Oh,” Demsey murmured in realization as he couldn’t help but agree with every single point you made as he was half tempted to just get on Charlico and just fly you to the closest colony with you. He needed to rescue from Ramsey if it was the last thing he could do. He didn’t care if you didn’t chose him now, you just couldn’t be with Ramsey, that was like offering up a lamb to a wolf and you had been the sacrificial lamb to the Morrigans, never again.

“Then count me as a friend who will not let that happen to you either.” Demsey insisted as he knew immediately that he would no longer ever see or use Miss Audra Draft and he was at peace with that. He would wait for your friendship to grow into something more only if you wanted it but he was content to wait however long he had to for you. You deserved all of himself.

“I will if you will do me the same honor, I will also try to protect you from any other Lady Whitesales, no matter what other shapes or forms or names they may have.” You smiled as you shared a happy contented smile of understand and as much as you wanted to offer yourself up to him and crawl into that inviting lap but that was probably inappropriate as you simply found his hand with yours and held his hand comfortably and it was the most divine feeling, just sitting in the woods with someone who understood you and sympathized with you and who actually saw you for you and you felt seen and heard for the first time in your life, just then you heard Grevu give a sounding call before Heavencrest lifted her head off the ground and looked to you expectantly as you sighed in defeat, you had been found.

“Yeah, go ahead, answer it.” You begrudgingly said to her before you reluctantly let go of Demsey and got up and dusted your butt off and walked over to the saddle to put the canteen away before you got into the saddle as Demsey seemed to pick up on your cue and got back onto Alaphonse before the dragon came in through the hole in the canopy that Charlico and Heavencrest had created and landed rather gently onto the ground where Ramsey quickly got off and came over to you.

“So this is where you’ve taken my dear Audra, I almost had to call in the calvary to find you.” Ramsey insisted as he looked you over and immediately noticed you had changed clothes and you could see the worry in his eyes and on his features before he turned an accusing eye towards Demsey before you grabbed his face and had him return his attention to you.

“Actually I took him here to get us out of the sun and out of those fur lined leather suits, I was sweltering in the heat so I got into the packs that were on my griffin Heavencrest, and Heavy knows the shield command so the griffins made sure to shield both of us with their wings to give us privacy to change, so there was no breach in proprietary, I assure you. Besides, I would never dream to encroach or call into question the good duke’s honor, nor he mine.” You quickly and firmly insisted to Ramsey who seemed to accept that without any further compliment as relief washed over his features which made you smile in relief as well.

“And you would be right to do so, he’s one my most honest, trusted and honorable members of court.” Ramsey praised, since that obviously would please you.

“Which is quite the achievement in itself.” You praised with a pleased grin, prouder and brighter because of Ramsey’s praise on Demsey’s behalf as Axal looked from you to Demsey and caught on that something had definitely transpired and could already instantly tell that Ramsey was fighting a losing battle because Demsey was- clearly- your type.

“By the way I think I owe your family quite a bit of money. You see Charlico has already covered Heavencrest so I’ll need to pay his stud fee, however much that might be.” You informed Ramsey.

“Oh no need for that at all my dear Audra, I mean look at them, they’re a pair, obviously, it’s natures way.” He insisted.

“Are you sure?” You asked wearily and fearfully because if it wasn’t going to be a monetary fee, another fee would be expected and you were not willing to pay whatever that fee might be considering that fee might be your marraige hand.

“Absolutely. I’ll even arrange for Heavencrest was it? For her to stay in a double stall with him. I mean look at the pair of them, they’ll make the most beautiful offspring.” Ramsey insisted, happy that at least he had an in with Charlico. Griffins mated for life, this was a sign that Audra was for him that her griffin would want to mate with his and that their riders should follow suit, no matter how much he had already, instantly clicked and befriended Axal even though his soul was wanting so much more than friendship in that respect.

“Oh, um, ok.” You reluctantly agreed as you nodded but let your shoulders drop and simply went back to Heavy and got in her saddle again.

“Audra, get off Heavy and get on Grevu with me, it’s been too long since you’ve ridden him.” Axal immediately piped up and took off his belt that was clipped in with Grevu’s saddle and scooted back into the long saddle to make room for you as you smiled in appreciation and climbed up Grevu.

“Hi Grevu, I’ve missed you, you been a good boy? Huh?” You cooed as you pet his face as he moved his head closer to you before he put his nose behind your butt and nudged you up into the saddle as you giggled before Axal wrapped the belt around your waist before you clipped it in and turned Grevu around before he climbed up the trees and leapt up into the air.

“Why are you upset that Ramsey now has Heavencrest in a stall with Charilco?” Axal asked.

“Because now he has the power over my escape if I wish it. This was why I didn’t take Heavy with me to Broadcove because I knew Richard would do who knows what to her to keep me in line and keep me grounded. Now I fear Ramsey is going to do the same.” You answered back over your shoulder.

“Does Ramsey really remind you that much of Richard?” Axal asked in alarm.

“He’s been obsessive over me since he saw me in a restaurant only a few weeks ago. He refused to let me dance with any other man but him for the whole ball we attended just the other day and he even got a hold of my master and went behind my back to my dress shop and ordered dresses for me without my knowledge. He’s obsessive and controlling and dangerous.” You insisted to Axal as you flew Grevu around the palace as you watched Demsey and Ramsey fly out of the foliage and quickly fly over to the barn.

“So you don’t like him or want him.” Axal realized.

“Nope, but I can’t be rude, his parent’s are my hosts for me, Calla and Bennie for the next six weeks.” You answered.

“I see, so if I was attracted to him, you’d be cool with me going after him.” Axal began.

“If he’s your type, go for it, by all means, he’s all yours, please take him off my back and my hands, but if you could also find out why he’s so obsessed with me, that would be much appreciated.” You invited before you had Grevu land on the runway and trot over to the barn.

“Considerate done, I’ll even try to get you Charlico.” Axal offered.

“You can try all you want, I don’t think the Dauphin is the giving type.” You warned him evenly.

“But what about that gorgeous green fellow you were with on the other hand?” Axal asked.

“He’s a close friend and he’s a good man, if you try to tempt him away from me, I’ll slit your throat myself.” You warned which got Axal to laugh.

“Still territorial I see.” Axal teased.

“Yup, that will never change about me.” You confirmed proudly.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it, stick to your guns.” He praised before he helped you off Grevu.

“Make sure this one eats especially well.” You urged the servants who warily came and got the dragon and began to taking him over to a cart so that the things packed on him would be unloaded and brought into the palace as the dragon simply stood still and let them

“So you and Ramsey hit it off that quickly huh?” You asked Axal as you walked over to Heavy to reconnect with her while another double stall was made ready for her since her pack had already been undone and brought to the same cart of things as you checked her over, making sure she was still in pristine shape as you scratched all her favorite spots between her colorful plumage as she ruffled her feathers so you could get to everything.

“What’s going on in here?” Yalin asked as she walked her own griffin back into the stables.

“This is Heavencrest, she’s Audra’s griffin and Charlico matched with her and even covered her already, isn’t that wonderful mother?” Ramsey reported and even you could hear his nervousness.

“If that isn’t acceptable, I can always try to pay for Charlico’s stud fee, or offer you a cub if she ends up taking it.” You offered.

“No, no, not at all, it’s natures way! They were clearly meant for each other, that’s wonderful. Of course they should always be together from now on. Really if you wish to keep Heavencrest stabled here you’re more than welcome to or we can always loan Charlico out if you wish to keep her at the little stable that Mirador has until other arrangements can be made.” Yalin insisted with a proud and meaningful look to her son as you simply just shook your head and hugged Heavencrest who practically laid down and enveloped you and made a purring sound.

“Why is it making that sound?” Demsey whispered to Axal as they both resigned themselves to lean against the wall and watch the scene unfold.

“The same reason cat’s purr, to comfort.” Axal murmured back.

“I’m Axalarize by the way, Audra’s twin brother.” Axal introduced himself.

“Demsey Voyambi.” Demsey said as the two shook hands.

“Stay with her will you,” Axal urged Demsey as he pushed off the wall and decided to “turn on” his charm to Yalin and Ramsey.

“So again, a thousand thanks for extending the invitation to us your excellency.” Axal greeted with a flourishing bow.

“Oh stop that, you can call me Mama Yalin, I understand you go by Axal? Like a cart axel?” She asked.

“Axal is short for my full name Axalarize Dilathia Saharrazat Divan of Kilan of Dorierra. Which is a mouthful I understand, so simply Axal, those are again my brothers, Ocearian Amythius Saharrazat, and my other brother Azaxie Adosius Saharrazat. The rest of the family is coming by train and will be here the day after tomorrow. We decided to leave immediately after your conversation with us via messengerari yesterday morning, as soon as we could get packed actually.” Axal explained as you sat inside Heavy’s embrace and were ready to start a fight with Bennie for going behind your back because other than Calla, no one else would have your own parents exact messengerari number because their brothers were too absorbed with flirting with the Voyambi sisters and Calla you didn’t think would do such a thing as going behind your back without at least running it by you first.

“So bring it in Mama Yalin.” He invited as he gave Yalin a great big hug, so show me all the wonderful things about your Palace of Windsor, because when you said a palace, you meant a palace!” He insisted as he put Ramsey under one arm and Yalin under the other and walked them out of the barn towards the house before Demsey dared to sit down on the floor next to Heavy and gently pet her and get as close to you as he could.

“What’s wrong?” He murmured quietly.

“You know how I was telling you about how obsession can lead to danger?” You said as you lifted your face out of Heavy’s colorful feathers and smoothed them and let your head rest over them you wiped away your tears.

“If Heavy’s here with Charlico and if they’re going to be a mated pair and if they won’t let me pay for Charlico’s stud fee or agree to the other term which is offering one of the cubs. But since they won’t accept that, they’re going to probably use Heavy as leverage to really get what they want. I didn’t bring Heavy with me to Broadcove because I knew Richard would hurt her or abuse her the way he tried to with me when I wouldn’t cooperate with him and I would rather he be a thousand miles away but safe. And I don’t want to be rude but this whole situation just gives me anxiety. And leaving it open ended like “other arrangements” fries my nerves and what I don’t want anyone to think is just because Heavy and Charlie over there have immediately bonded that their chosen riders should too, I’ll load Heavy up right now and leave under the cover of night tonight if that is what they’re thinking.” You vowed.

“Can I have your permission to help or try to intervene in any way?” Demsey asked hopefully.

“Like if push comes to shove, I will happily help you load up everything and create a diversion if I have to, I would prefer you stay but if you feel that strongly, you should listen to your instincts.” Demsey advised before you reached down and grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips and kissed the back of his hand sweetly.

“Thanks.” You thanked him.

“I’m sure it’s just...I’m sure I’m just overreacting to the abuse I suffered at Broadcove, the Raymonds may be perfectly innocent and I may just be imputing bad motives. But I would rather not wait until it was too late to find out either way.” You admitted before Demsey got an idea.

“How about this, when you get a chance to go back to your room tonight, pack up like you would be leaving for the closest colony tonight. Only put everything into like a trunk if you can. Then come and get me and I’ll get it and put it in my room and you just say the word, and I’ll help you escape and they will think nothing of me dragging a trunk down to the stables and getting Heavy ready for you and then just leave me a list of instructions or even leave a note that you want Amara or Callie or whichever of my sisters you prefer to get everything you have that way it can all be brought to Whydahh and I’ll ship it to wherever you end up. I’ll even personally bring it all to you if you’d let me.” Demsey offered sincerely.

“I think you’re the first real friend I’ve made outside of Dorierra.” You confessed.

“Deal.” You readily agreed before you finally couldn’t wait anymore and crawled into his lap and just hugged him tightly..

“Thank you Demsey.” You thanked him as he held you tightly, wishing he had the courage to just admit his feelings for you already and admit to everything. But you obviously needed time and a more gradual approach to romance.

“The first of hopefully many many more to come.” Demsey reassured you.

“It’ll be ok, someway, somehow, it’ll be ok.” Demsey assured you as he gently rubbed your back the way he would his little sisters while comforting them and even though he tried to make this as platonic as possible, his heart, mind and soul were begging and pleading for more while his own hope soard that he had a much bigger, fighting chance for your heart than ever before. This wasn’t a hopeless fight that he had no hope of winning. This was basically every knight in shining armor fighting the evil king for the princess locked in a high tower fantasy he had ever read as a child coming to fruition. He was going to prove to you through his actions that his feelings for you were genuine and even if you didn’t choose him, you would be free. And your freedom is all that mattered.

#Blood For Gold #Blood For Gold Part 10 #wooo gay panic ftw #Did anyone else catch on?#I tried to be subtle.#But yes #gay #it's about to get so gay #up in here #regency era orc period drama #regency orcs #orcs #orc love story #moura

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missallsundayyy · 4 years ago

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PART ?? OF MY CHROLLO X ELIZABETH FIC & IF U WANT THE FIRST PART ITS ON MY MASTERLIST, like i said I already publish a few chapters on Wattpad but only decided to post maybe 1-4 chapters that i'm biased with.

School girl and a Bandit

Elizabeth was waiting for Chrollo outside the mall where he had ask her to meet him. She suspected that he was going to buy her more things again. Truthfully she really did like him a lot and she loved spending all her time with him. Being with him didn't make her crazy, she did not have any of her 'episodes' with him around and she loved it. She felt that her condition might push him away or turn him off but she also knew he somewhat enjoyed torturing her from time to time, that's why she knew this man was perfect and because of that very reason she didn't want him to leave her.

Her heart raced and fluttered waiting for him, meeting him always excite her.

"Elizabeth??" a familiar voice interrupted her but not the voice she was waiting for.

She spun around and her big shining eyes widened at the person.

"Ilumi???" surprised but her voice had a hint of glee. "What are you doing in Yorknew?" she regain her composure

"I'm here on an assignment..." he said, his eyes never leaving her. He mentally took note of how much the girl had grown in just over a year. Her face was glowing, her body figure was more curvaceous than ever, her bust seemed to have doubled, maybe tripled than the last time he'd seen her. It's been a year since Illumi had talked or met Elizabeth. "You look.....very beautiful Elizabeth" he continued, he tried to compliment her without sounding like a pervert.

She blushed at his words but was lowkey upset because whyyyyyyy did he have to show up now. Illumi was Elizabeth's first crush. She knew who he was and she had asked him to fulfill her pain and pleasure but he cared too much for her so he wouldn't be obliged to her request. She left Illumi because she didn't want to be upset further, she questioned why he wasn't able to do it when he was trained professionally and his answer was because he was falling for her and regardless who he was, he was never going to hurt her and he had made that so very clear to her.

Elizabeth was going to say something when she felt Chrollo's arms snake around her waist and the sound of his voice joined their conversation. Illumi looked at the scene that was unfolding in front of him and he had a questioning look on his face.

"Chrollo."

"Illumi." Chrollo's voice was cool and solely based on greeting a business partner. "You know Elizabeth?" he questioned the eldest Zoldyck assassin. Illumi smiled, amused. "Of course. Someone like her would be hard to notice......but we're just friends now of course."

Chrollo had his brows raised at his reply 'now?' his mind questioned but he didn't probe further. "Well....I guess I'll be off now then I have business to attend to. I'm sure I'll be doing future business with you once more" Illumi gestured to the leader of the phantom and then turned back to Elizabeth "It's a pleasure to see you again...." his eyes lingered on her longer than Chrollo liked before he walked away.

"That was very awkward..." Elizabeth muttered softly to herself. She looked up to Chrollo who had an unreadable expression. "Ch..chrollo..??" she called him out softly and snapped him away from his thoughts. He looked down on her and smiled at her adorable questioning facial features. "Let's go Elizabeth, I've reserved a limited edition diamond earring for you. This piece is the only pair in the whole world." he said lovingly at her. She gasped internally, this man treats her too good she didn't know what she has ever done to even deserve this.

"B..bbut...it's too much if i'm the only in the world that has it....i can't possibly accept this..." she was cut off with a kiss. "mphmm!" His lips captured hers roughly and silenced her refusal.

"You can't say no to me Elizabeth..now let's go"

TIME SKIP

"That looks very pretty on you Elizabeth!" Chrollo complimented the girl who was now checking her new accessory out in the mirror. Her cheeks flushed light red at his compliment.

"This jewelry is so beautiful Chrollo...the soft blue globe shape of this is sparkling!! It's almost like it's shining...!" she exclaimed whilst looking in the mirror.

He smiled looking at the happy young girl, he could feel the happiness radiating off her. "Yes I agree and the colour of it compliments your eyes very well because both shines almost the same." he adds on making her turn to him blushing even more.

"Thha...thank you Chrollo, these are very beautiful! I love it!!" she exclaimed very cutely. (yall would know how Eli is if you watch seven deadly sins)

He laughed and nodded his head "Well you can take a look around then after this we'll go shopping for anything you want."

Elizabeth knew better than to argue with Chrollo but when she think back about it, he was the most wanted criminal like ever and he probably makes billions a day just by robbing someone or something.

They continued the rest of the day shopping and dining at the finest restaurants in the city, he was an absolute gentleman and she was the most divine date he will ever have.

TIME SKIP

"You pamper me so much and now my closet doesn't have enough storage" Elizabeth fussed and racked through all her clothings trying to make space for all the stuff she's bought from today. Chrollo was amused looking at the young teenager sprawled on the floor trying to organize her outfits. "Are you not allowed back to your respective apartments?" he asked.

"Well the school hasn't announced anything regarding that yet so i'm stuck in this ugly dorm." she complained but he laughed, "I'll arrange for you to be allowed back to your apartment"

Elizabeth crossed her hands and turned to him "And how are you going to do that exactly" her sassy tone amused him even further. He stood up and squat in front of her, using his finger tilting her face up to him "Do you forget who I am Elizabeth? I can have and do anything I want" he said dangerously. This made her want to unleash her crazy on him but she nodded afraid her mouth might slip any bullshit out.

TIME SKIP

Elizabeth was in her school library trying to reach for the book that she had to reference in her assignment but luck wasn't on her side when she realised that the book she wanted was at the top of the ridiculous book shelf.

"Fuck." she swore silently.

"You know you can ask for help if you need it princess." a deep familiar voice came directly from behind her and his voice went straight down her spine. She whipped her head almost immediately and was met with Illumi's face 'fuck my luck today' she mentally cursed. "Uhh..Illumi...what.. whaa are you.." He had her book in a blink of an eye "Your welcome" he cut her off with his oh so charming smirk. Elizabeth blushed at how close they were currently, she could feel his body heat radiating off him. "I..we..." before she could get a word in he had grabbed her waist roughly and slammed her against the library's study table and smashed his lips against hers. He thanked the heavens that he could again feel her soft and plump lips, the sweetness from her mouth engulfed him once again..it has been far too long he has had her like this.

"Mmmph!!" Elizabeth was shocked at the bold move that her former lover pulled. She tried to push him off her but OBVIOUSLY he was wayyyy too strong. His both hands groped her waist and thighs and he mentally worshipped the soft porcelain skin she had. Elizabeth's will to fight Illumi's kiss and touch was slowly weakening and she felt the familiar feeling of his touch once again. He smirked against her lips when he felt the girl loosening up to him. Before she could return his advances the oldest zoldyck son was flung backwards by an unknown force.

"Get off her." a calm yet raging voice filled the empty library. Illumi had crashed into the wall leaving a hole. Chrollo's back was facing her, she was afraid he would get the wrong idea and she could feel his hostility within him. He turned back to Elizabeth "I leave you for a day and you've already replaced me Eli?" he said to her with one eyebrows arched. She stuttered trying to explain herself whilst her face was still red as a tomato. "You're lucky you're always this cute, I could never get mad at you." he finished before turning his gaze back at Illumi.

"While I'm glad we are able to work together and be professional, I would be very much love it if you keep your hands to yourself and leave my girlfriend alone, Illumi. This will be the only warning you get." Chrollo snapped at the assassin.

Illumi laughed "I didn't know Elizabeth was YOUR girlfriend, it seems that she has taste for dangerous men." he turned his gaze back at Elizabeth's flustered figure still on the study table. He would've taken her there and then if Chrollo hadn't interrupted.

"My apologies then, i'll be going now" with that he vanished in an instant.

Chrollo let out a deep sigh "I'm honestly taken aback to know that you and Illumi were once lovers Elizabeth." he walked towards the silver haired who was standing up adjusting her ridiculous school skirt that was way too short.

"No matter...now that you are mine, no man will ever dare lay their hands on you." he closed their gap and kissed her roughly, grabbing her waist tightly she knew it was going to bruise. He continued his kiss by going down her neck, licking her sensitive spot. "ahh...gg..god.." her hands instinctively combed through his hair. "I'll show you how you're supposed to handle a little girl." he growled in her ears, he's had it with all the men that had shamelessly ogled her.

He dropped on his knees and spread her legs wide apart and Elizabeth gasped at the realisation of what he was about to do. The thought of him going down on her in her school library made her dripping wet already. She moaned quietly when she felt two fingers sliding up and down teasingly.

"Dripping wet already? Is this from me or Illumi Elizabeth?" he growled angrily plunging three fingers in her without warning. Her head jerked back and she let a loud moan out of her mouth.

"Fuckkkkk!" he fingered her hard and fast not letting her answer him, his fingers went in and out at a monstrous pace she thought she could see stars. She gripped the table so hard her fingers were almost white. He curled his fingers and stimulated her insides and she thought she was going to cum there and then. She almost felt her release when he pulled his fingers out, she whimpered at the loss of pleasure and he gave her a knowing smirk. He brought his fingers up to her lips and grazed the bottom lips with his fingers that were now glistening with her juices. "Suck" he commanded. She swore she could've cum from that command itself. Elizabeth stuck her tongue out teasingly, licking his fingers that were fully coated with her cum.

Chrollo growled and shoved 3 fingers down her throat "I said suck little girl. Im not playing games here" he snapped and proceeded to lap her dripping wet core with his tongue. Elizabeth moans were half silent due to his fingers going in and out of her mouth. Her tongue swirled and sucked skilfully like how she would go down on him while he worked on her pussy magically. Her vision was in a daze, her eyes half lidded but still could make out the handsome man going down on her hungrily. "Gyah,...mmhmm.. chro...llo..." she tried to speak even with his wet fingers in her mouth. She had one hand gripping his black hair and one gripping his hand that was fucking her mouth.

Chrollo stopped his pleasuring assault on her and looked up and was faced by the most erotic sight he has ever seen. He yanked back his fingers that were in her mouth and used the very slippery and wet finger to shove it back into her hot hole. "Fuck fuck fuck. Chrollo!! I'm..im gonna....ahhh" she chanted his name like a mantra and he had a front row seat for it. He watched her body wriggle with pleasure, her hands in his hair gripped so tightly he thought she was hanging for dear life. "You're dripping wet and you're soaking my hands with your cum already. Cmon open your eyes and look down Elizabeth." he used his other hand and gripped her face and forced her to watch herself be fucked by 4 of his fingers. The sight was too hot Elizabeth she felt herself cum.....hard and she felt strings of liquid spurting out from her.

"ahh fuck fuck I feel so...this...sooo good I caan..haaa!" she trashed on the table and she felt so euphoric and this was only from his fingers. She felt her orgasm lasted for at least a minute and he removed his fingers from her.

"You look so sexy when you squirt like that...just from my fingers Elizabeth." he said, his hands shirt now covered with a lot of her cum. Elizabeth was so spent from the intense orgasm, she didn't have the energy to be embarrassed.

"Take me to my room please Chrollo...I can't moveee..." she whimpered still feeling her high. He chuckled down on her "You're so cute Elizabeth..should I fuck you now before I bring you to your room?" She let a low moan at the thought of him taking her in her school library. "No!! not here...you can fuck me in my room! not here..."

He laughed at her plea "I'll carry you to your room okay?" she nodded shyly. Chrollo could feel himself falling for this girl day by day and he didn't know if it was a good thing or.

#chrollo smut #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #phantom troupe #hxh #hunterxhunter #smut #elizabeth liones #seven deadly sins

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fapangel · 5 years ago

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WELCOME, NEW GUN OWNERS!

A Brief Intro To The Whole ‘Gun’ Thing Business Stuff

By Planefag

1. So You Bought A Coronavirus Gun and you’re honestly a bit scared of it. What now?

You already know the four rules of gun safety because 1. the guy at the store told you, 2. it was in the users manual, which you read, and above all 3. you’ve not a redneck going “yee-haw BANG-GATTY!” you’re a goddamn sane human being. In point of fact, this new gun kind of scares you a bit and you sometimes have second thoughts.

Congratulations! You’re already becoming a Responsible Gun Owner.

Y’see, what us gun nerds don’t tell you is that we practice gun safety to the point of obsessive paranoia. Guns don’t shoot people, people shoot people – including by accident. The gun doesn’t do jack diddly shit – YOU do. All that responsibility is on YOU. And if you’re sitting there eyeballing the damn thing like it’s a live snake, it means you respect and fear the power, which is the first step in fully accepting the responsibility of gun ownership. You didn’t buy that damn thing as a dick replacement or to kill tin cans in the backyard, you bought it to protect yourself and your family should the worst happen – i.e. you’re already taking responsibility for your and/or your family’s own safety.

Being a grown-ass responsible adult is what qualifies you to own a gun. That’s it. Everything else is just knowledge, and none if it means diddly squat without the attitude, and as a (likely) reluctant owner, you already have that.

Never forget this.

2. What Nobody Will Tell You About The Safety Culture Of Firearms

You are absolutely going to fuck up gun safety a lot and the entire system and culture of firearm safety is designed to deal with this.

It starts with the Four Rules themselves:

All guns are loaded at all times.

Never point the gun at anything you don’t want to destroy.

Keep your finger off the trigger unless you intend to fire.

Never shoot an unidentified target and always consider what’s behind it.

These rules are multiply redundant safeties. Just ONE of these rules can and will save your life. You, as an ordinary mortal human, cannot possibly be perfect all the time, even with well-ingrained safety habits, but with multiple safety habits, you don’t NEED to be. Once Upon A Time a friend brought over her husband’s new gun for us to see, and my whole family handled it and tried it out. I asked to try the trigger pull, and before I touched the trigger, I decided to check the chamber – and a live round popped out.

That’s when I realized that, despite all of us having failed to check the chamber, we had all:

1. Never touched the trigger 2. Never walked in front of the muzzle 3. Never pointed it in an unsafe direction - only at the floor.

My whole family, my friend, and I all fucked up, and nobody was hurt because while you will occasionally forget one or even two rules of gun safety, it’s effectively impossible to forget all four.

This “multiple redundancy” extends to other gun owners, and it’s why gun nerds seem to be such tiresome pedantic pricks about precise terminology – it all starts with “trigger discipline;” i.e. pointing out when someone else has their finger on the trigger when they’re not about to shoot; in a movie, in pictures, in real life, in a TikTok video etc. Muzzle discipline (don’t point it at things you want to destroy) is a close second. This is how gun owners work together to reinforce each other’s safety habits until they are second nature. This is the root of much gun culture – for instance, “silencer” is a perfectly valid name for the round make-gun-more-quieter-can, but lots of people get uptight and insist they be called “suppressors” because they don’t actually literally silence a gun, and your hearing can still be damaged if you fire a louder/bigger gun with a “can” on it and omit hearing protection (“earpo.”) Safety is serious business and you can expect other gun owners to coach you in it.

This system is formally enforced at shooting ranges, where someone called the Range Officer walks around for the sole purpose of making sure every rule of gun safety is observed at all times. With so many people in such tight confines, perfect gun safety is required, which is beyond the ability of any mere mortal. The range officer’s job is to be your second brain, helping you observe gun safety. They will often show you tricks to help avoid common mistakes in gun handling – one RO showed me how to stand sideways to my bench, so that when I manipulated my pistol in both hands, I could hold it sideways (as one naturally wants to do, to inspect it,) while still keeping the muzzle downrange. It’s natural to feel embarrassed if an RO corrects your mistake in gun safety, but you shouldn’t be – RO’s see every knuckle-dragging moron on Earth and can easily tell someone who is trying to be safe from a simple moron who doesn’t give a damn. RO’s treasure earnest newbies, because its easy to teach knowledge and habit, but difficult if not impossible to instill responsibility.

A final note on safety involves storage. To be of any damn use, your gun must be loaded and ready in your home, but many people also need to secure it against children, dumb-ass visiting friends or in some neighborhoods, possible burglary. What you need is a quick-access safe, like this one linked here. Note how the keypad has grooves so your fingers can find it in the dark, and only has four buttons. These tools are expressly designed to keep your firearm readily accessible and also safe and secure. Avail yourself of these.

3. You Don’t Know Jack Shit About Guns And That Doesn’t Matter.

Everything you think you know about guns is probably complete fucking bullshit – but if you know how to point YOUR gun’s loud end at the bad guy and pull the trigger, that’ll do.

Many in my own tribe will rip me a new asshole for saying this, but its true nonetheless. A TON of what you think you know about guns is total bullshit propagated by Hollywood, and some of it’s dangerous because it could get you killed – for instance, if you think your new shotgun doesn’t need to be aimed because it’ll light up half the living room from five feet away like in video games.

But you don’t own every gun from movies or games, do you? You only own YOUR gun. That’s the only one you need to worry about learning right now. You’re probably stuck “sheltering in place” and all the shooting ranges are closed, but that means you have plenty of time to watch youtube videos, and damn are there a lot of good, informative youtube videos on firearm topics. Paul Harrell alone has tons of excellent, down to Earth videos on every topic you can imagine, and he often caters to fresh-faced newbies, such as this introduction to shotguns and what they do. Full30.com is “gun youtube” and has nothing but informative gun videos.

Watching these videos you’ll soon realize that what sounds like basic newbie information to you is being delivered in videos aimed at experienced gun owners – because we gun owners often don’t know shit, either. Even among gun owners ourselves, a great many myths and legends persist; the classic example being old-timers who think the springs in magazines will wear out if you keep them loaded too long (they don’t, any more than the suspension springs on your car do from just sitting in the garage.) These rumors persist because while their recommended techniques don’t help, they almost never hurt, either. Gun owners pursue these almost mythical rituals for the exact same reason they have such strong opinions (and sometimes bitter arguments) over trivial differences in firearm performance or utility – even though the differences are very minor, when you are fighting for your own priceless life, even slim advantages are worth having. Even though most gun owners keep a simple shotgun for home defense and spend most of their money on Fun Shooty Guns for the range and/or competitions, the entire community is, ultimately, rooted in traditions and lessons pertaining to actual practical use of firearms for community, family and self-defense.

Thus: when fellow gun-owners, in person or online, give your selection of firearm shit and recommended ten billion other accessories or methods to buy or use, do not be fooled into thinking your gun is useless or seriously sub-par; almost anything that you can put lead downrange with, where you want it, will do the job. At the same time, understand that this community has such strong opinions on often trivial differences because you’re preparing to defend your and your families lives, and with infinitely high stakes, no advantage is too trivial to consider.

Sights and slings and magazines and such are all well and good to have, but if you need to make a choice, remember that having the gun, and the skill and familiarity to use it is already 90% of the equation. Paul Harrell demonstrates this very very well in his video on using double-barreled shotguns for home defense, which he opens with the line “not everyone can afford thousand-dollar guns,” and “you don’t need the latest, greatest thing to get the job done.” Clint of Thunder Ranch – a man who has in fact shot people and been shot at – is also on-record as warning people that you can absolutely be killed by the oldest, silliest damn Oregon-Trail looking goddamn Elmer Fudd popgun if the wielder knows how to run it well. Look no further than the return of lever-action Old West guns for home defense.

4. The Right Of The People To Keep And Bear Arms Shall Not Be Infringed AND YOU ARE PEOPLE

YES, YOU, YOU LEFT-WING BERNIEBRO TRIPLE-COMMUNIST FROM SOVIET MORDOR. AND YOU, TRANS-QUEER-POC-NONBINARY OTHERKIN. YOU ARE PEOPLE.

IF YOU ARE PEOPLE, THIS IS YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT. IT IS NOT CONTINGENT ON YOUR POLITICS, YOUR RELIGION, YOUR SEX, GENDER, OR PREFERENCE OF GAMING CONSOLE. YOU BOUGHT A GUN, NOT A POLITICAL PARADIGM SHIFT. IT CAME WITH A TRIGGER LOCK, NOT A PACKET OF KOOL-AID.

WE GUN OWNERS HAVE FOUGHT TIRELESSLY FOR GENERATIONS TO DEFEND THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE PRECISELY BECAUSE WE KNEW TIMES LIKE THESE WOULD INEVITABLY COME. AND NOW THAT THEY’RE HERE, BEING VINDICATED IS ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NO FUN AT ALL, BECAUSE WE’RE ALL IN THIS SHITSTORM TOGETHER.

5. Come Talk To Us – We Don’t Bite

Most gun owners collect guns because we can’t afford to collect cars or old tractors or whatever, and worse, we can’t race them against each other nearly as easily as we can go to an IDPA competition and blap steel pop-up targets. Firearms are exquisite works of engineering, and marksmanship is a science, an Olympic sport, and a true art that was respected as the domain of the experienced and wise even in Antiquity. Most of us were taught gun safety as a case-study in the responsibilities of adulthood, at our parents and grandparents knee, and we find real joy in introducing new people to the joy of firearms ownership and shooting sports.

Gun owners have been subject to non-stop, wall-to-wall abuse for decades due to our views on firearm rights – quite often to our faces, from family members. It makes us scornful and defensive – but it also primes us to welcome fellow supporters of self-defense rights with open arms as long-lost brothers. Hit us up on Twitter or BookFarce or whatever the hell you use. Ask your questions – yes, even the dumb ones. We asked the exact same ones ourselves when we were starting out. We’ll deny it till the sun burns out, but we did, and our guilty memories mock us still.

It often feels like the divides in America are too deep to ever be healed, and even in the midst of this crisis, where there should only be two sides – humanity vs. virus – the bitter recriminations continue. But it’s still the best chance we’ve had to see eye-to-eye with each other, and that new gun of yours, lying in its factory grease still in its factory hardcase, is proof positive of that.

You’re disgusted by this reality, aren’t you? That such ugly measures are necessary? That things have gotten this bad?

Good. So are we. Which is why we need you; you people who wish for a world where guns aren’t needed and people sleep with their doors unlocked at night. People who push forward, finding a way to advance. And this current disaster is why you need us; people who know how bad it can get, how easily the center can fold, who prepare for the worst.

We will need you again in the future. And that is why we are here for you now.

#covid19 #pandemic #@coronavirus #guns #@gun control #don't panic #covid-19 #I don't care if this is pointless someone has to fucking try #firearmsafety #firearms #lockdown

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splittingxpaths · 5 years ago

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❝Well now. This looks rather... cozy.❞

It had been some time since Freiza had even bothered ‘visiting’ the seer; in truth, while it was satisfying to spook him, sometimes it was tiresome to deal with the fear that the Namekian exhibited. Useful, but tiresome.

So in the smallest effort to make the seer be more... ‘at home’, Berryblue suggested to allow the Namekian his homely accessories. Others that were in similar positions were given the same nicety, provided that they were conscious of a limit.

Frieza knew there was a trip out to Earth done by one of the scouts, probably at the request of Berryblue who might have managed to gotten the seer to talk about what would make his room more at home. This was the first time the emperor had encountered what that might have meant.

Reaching up and taking a part of the closest hanging drapery, he’d inspect its material (silk? He certainly approved) as the seer remained frozen on his chair - the visit was a surprise, of course. Aside from the customary knock to alert that he was here, he doesn’t often bother to wait unless otherwise asked to.

Gazing around, there were drapes hung from the ceilings, blocking off most of the blank steel-blue wall from sight and arranged in a way to make it seem more like... what’s the word? Pavilion? Yes, that was it - the room was almost transformed into a pavilion. Aside from the drapes, there was only a few added items that he could see, which at least meant that there wasn’t many objects to be bothered with.

❝I have to say that I am surprised that you hadn’t attempted to cram more than half of what ever dwelling you lived in into this room. Most certainly had tried.❞

❝Er... t-thank you??❞ It seemed that the Namekian was at a loss of what to say, a mix of the usual fear as well as unsure of how to reply to small talk. He wasn’t even sure if it was meant to be a compliment or not, Frieza suspected.

Stepping further inside, he’d gaze around as he took account of what was now part of the room, having a bit more of a sense of what this Namekian was like. He was an... odd one, that was for certain. A small line of books of presumably Earth-origin inside the small enclave near the bed, a framed picture right in front of them, a thick comforter of some kind spread out on the said bed...

❝Make sure you send your thanks to Berryblue for making this possible.❞ While he suspected that it’s already happened, he’d like to ensure that his old caretaker was given the respect she was due. With a hurried nod from the seer in assurance that he would, Frieza was turning away before his gaze went back to that framed picture. Without invitation or even asking, his tail snaked forward and took it off its resting place, prompting a objection that was immediately silenced from the Namekian as he’d watch the emperor examine the picture. A short human with magenta eyes, with one arm wrapped around the arm of a far taller Namekian of a slightly bigger build of muscles...

There was something familiar in the way that the Namekian held himself, with that golden ornament around his neck, his ears pierced exactly the same way.

❝Tell me; is this you?❞

Surprised, the seer would hesitate before nodding slightly when the Icejin glanced up. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure which one Frieza was referring to. Gazing returning to the picture after a few seconds of studying, it was like a large piece of a puzzle he held. This was several years old, from what he’d have to guess, and the human may seem quite happy... but he could see the signs of some kind of tiredness from the bags under her eyes. A slight hollowed look to the cheeks. Tired, and suffering from some kind of illness.

❝Hm.❞ Without further comment, he’d place the picture back to its spot, twisting it ever slightly until it was back in its position - a habit that came from when he had to return his own possessions to their places, and his caretaker would double-check his memory. Perhaps he may learn a touch more at a later date. Such as why it was that the Namekian, who clearly had the normal onyx eyes, now had the same magenta-color as that of the human. ❝Well. I must say that I approve of these changes. Better than most others, I would admit.❞

He was already turning away even as he could sense surprise emitted from the seer - he didn’t need to see it to be certain. ❝One last thing... I’ve been told by Berryblue of your name. Taiko, is it?❞

That... had been neglected upon the Namekian being pressed into his service, though at the time he had doubted that he really needed to know much about the other except what use he could be. ❝Yes... That’s correct.❞

❝Good. Then I can properly address you as necessary. Considering how hasty I were about having you situated, I suppose it had slipped my mind at the asking.❞ Not that it would have meant much since he had been in the process of changing his mind about disposing the Namekian. ❝If you need anything else, you know whom to request them from. Not many would catch my advisor’s eye, so I suggest to not be exceptionally... greedy with your requests.❞

❝Y-yes sir...❞

As the door opened, he’d glance back over his shoulder - the seer’s eyes were averted, antenna drooping versus the curled appearance they usually would be positioned. Terrified as the Namekian was, being isolated was not very... healthy. ❝You’re not confined to your quarters, by the by. While you are prohibited from leaving the ship for any reason except for my orders, you do have some leeway.❞

❝Ah..??❞ Forced to look back, Taiko seemed surprised at the suggestion. While not exactly.. confined, they had assumed that they had little ability to move around. They were all but prisoner by name. ❝I... I suppose...❞

❝And should you encounter any trouble - ❞ Here, he’d give the seer a slow smile, ❝ - simply tell them that their Lord Frieza would be most displeased about them harassing you. The kais knows how your seering works, and I’m fairly certain that being pushed around may cause some instability to the process.❞

Antenna shot straight up; wasn’t that kind of like lying?? And it was... the tyrant’s suggestion! ❝But - I -❞

Yet Frieza was already gone, chuckling to himself at the look of incredibility and bafflement the seer exhibited at the suggestion. Ah, this may be just as fun as the scaring. Maybe a little more enjoyable.

#{.ic.}_Drabble #{.muse.}_narcissistic.emperor.{.Frieza.}#{.muse.}_enlightened.namekian.{.Taiko.}#{.verse.}_Forced.Employment #//welp? not sure what you may think of this #//but it was kind of fun

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iiimber · 6 years ago

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Could I request an Izukuxreader where I have a suppression quirk that allows me to hide my presence, but I have to touch the person to activate it. Deku has been trying to catch me because I stealing is like breathing I just can't pass it up. And this has been going on for years, but I don't know what he actually looks like so one time I steal something when he's 'off the clock' and he catches me finally. And he promises to take me out on a date once I get out. Something like that?

ahh i love writing for midoriya; i imagine he’ll be much more confident as an adult, but still his same sweet self

Midoriya Izuku loved being a hero.

As his dream since a child, there was no conceivable way he wouldn’t love it. Despite the target on his back as a rising pro, the dangers and constant reminder of his mortality in the line of duty— all these negatives were outweighed every time someone give him a bright smile, a comment on how strong and kind he was, a thank you for saving their lives and a promise to support him as he continued to rise.

With all the complications and hardships that went into being a hero, Midoriya Izuku still really loved it.

He would have rough days; not arriving to the scene fast enough, not as skilled and ready for combat as he could’ve been. Being a hero was tough work, and while he knew that, it could still weigh him down tremendously. There would always be things that could make or break his day as a Pro, but even those he wouldn’t give up. They always fueled him to move forward, push himself to the limit of becoming a better him for himself and for the people.

Yes, he wouldn’t give any of that up...even the frustrating cat-and-mouse game with one particular thief.

In the beginning of the Hero Deku’s career, he was assigned to smaller, more petty crimes and villains. He was strong and pretty skilled, and his experience during Yuuei was enough to let him take care of the minor, yet still troublesome offenses. There had been a thief around— one that focused on stealing smaller stuff like makeup or clothes, things that weren’t necessarily important but these places had a business to run.

While Midoriya at first was a little discouraged with being assigned something so...small and seemingly easy, he grew to learn that this particular criminal would prove to be quite tough. He had meet his match with you, that was for certain.

Over the years, as he rose in popularity and number, beginning to focus on much more heinous crimes and serious rescue missions— his quarrel with you was still ever present. He knows what you look like, what your quirk is and the basis on how it works (even now, grown and a professional hero, he still analyzes any quirk that sparked his interest). He just had no idea how to actually catch you.

He’ll see you, either in the midst of stealing or running away, and as he gains on you— only one touch from your hand is enough to shield yourself from his vision. You’re still there; he can feel your presence, but no matter how hard he tries he can’t remember where you were last standing or figure out where you could’ve moved to. It’s frustrating; he’s smart! Resourceful and cunning, this should be a breeze for him!

You always gain the upper hand though, and damn if it isn’t just a little bit exhilarating.

You’re not much for higher-stake thefts.

Your quirk works on living things, not cameras and sensors, so if you choose to steal without any facial protection— you’d be able to be identified pretty easily. Luckily though, you’re a master at concealing yourself when the need arises— getting away is as easy as taking candy from a baby. Not that you ever would, your morals are much higher than that.

Today was a day where you were feeling a little brave. An itch to steal and put yourself in a more stressful and exciting heist than normally. You had been laying a little low these past weeks; Deku was less busy with more important missions and used that time to try and gain the upper hand on you. He was getting increasingly more frustrated, you could tell when you had slipped away yet again, but that’s why it’s so fun!

You were confident in what you knew you could do, and it never ceased to stump your Pro Hero.

There was a necklace in the local jewelry shop that had caught your eye the other day; a pretty gold chain decorated with drooping diamonds, glittering in the light almost mockingly whenever you passed it. It was much too expensive to afford on your own, and it’s not like you had the means to save up for it— you could just easily steal it.

You thought it best to wait until the shop was slow, but busy enough that the workers could still be occupied with other customers. The plan was to make a move when the necklace had been placed out of the glass case for display, but that was taking too long and you had a flaw of getting antsy. You’d go ahead with it anyways, messy escape or not.

The little shop had about seven other people in it, besides the four workers. The employees were busy chatting and making sales, leaving you to stand in front of the glass case where your fated necklace was hanging delectably. It wasn’t often you’d indulge in treating yourself like this; more so stealing items you’d rather not pay for or basic necessities...but you supposed with your success on evading Deku’s capture all the time you’ve gotten a little cocky in your abilities.

Pressing a hand against the glass, you sighed through your nose. There was the option of just breaking it and running, but that meant more attention on you— making more people to touch to get away. Fingers tapping, thoughts of how to go about obtaining this necklace racing through your mind.

“I-is there anything I can help you with?”

Glancing up, you were met with the nervous gaze of a young worker. Her smile was kind and a little wobbly, posture stiff. If you had to take a guess, you would say she was new.

Smiling back, you tapped a finger against the glass. “Would you be able to take this out for a better look?”

With his mother's birthday coming up, and more than enough money to go all out for the wonderful woman who raised him, Midoriya decided to browse the local jewelry store. His mother didn’t own a lot of nice things for herself; too busy raising him to be the best he could be and saving her money for more important things, she had always missed out on treating herself; even just a little bit. He wanted to get her something nice; expensive and pretty, one that would certainly catch the eye of other people. He knew it wasn’t necessary, but he couldn’t help himself.

The shop had many pretty accessories to choose from, all expensive and genuine, but nothing he couldn’t afford. As he gazed down at an emerald encrusted bracelet, Midoriya perked up when he heard a familiar, soft voice.

“Ah, thank you so much!”

Turning, he met the sight of you, gazing down at a sparkling necklace. There was a glimmer in your eye, and he watched in shock as the worker turned away for just one moment…

One moment was it all it took too. Gently, you touched the poor woman's hand and lifted the necklace with care, placing it in your bag before turning tail towards the entrance of the shop. You were out before the worker noticed, and Midoriya was right after you.

He found it careless to do this during early evening, all kind of witnesses mulling around— anyone of them could have the means to stop you! You’ve grown cocky, that’s for sure, and a part of him wondered if it had to do with his continued failure in catching you.

You were moving through the crowd like a snake, dodging and stepping around backed up foot-traffic with such a lightness to your step that he thought you could very well have a second quirk. Midoriya was faster though, heart racing against his chest as he reached out, closer, so much closer until…

A tug on your wrist put your escape to a stop, a sinking feeling making you nauseous and your head light. There was no way you could’ve been caught, everyone else in the shop was busy with their own matters and the people outside were too focused on getting home than the inside of some little corner jewelry place! With a deep breath, you turned to meet a swirling green gaze— a perfected, innocent smile on your face.

“Can I help you with something sir?”

If Midoriya didn’t know any better, he would think he had grabbed the wrong person. Your (e/c) eyes were wide and curious, innocent looking just like your smile. Your face was sweet, foolproof acting if he wasn’t so smart. It was a shame you were so cute, you actually brought a blush to his face.

You weren’t freaking out though, and it dawned on him that every time the two of you clashed he had been on the clock— dressed in hero gear and his mask...you didn’t know what he actually looked like. Still staring at him with wide eyes, Midoriya grinned, free hand coming up to grasp your other that had been reaching out to his arm slowly.

Gasping as you were tugged closer to the man, an unsettling shock shooting down your spine as he continued to gaze down at you. He had completely encased your hands in his, giving you no openings to conceal yourself. You were screwed.

“Funny seeing you here, (Name).”

Shit. Double screwed.

Deku, clad in casual clothes and face exposed to you for the first time, let out a laugh at your widened eyes. You were frozen in shock, struggling to believe that you were finally caught— when he was off duty.

With ease, the man shifted both of your wrists into two hands, reaching into his jean pockets to pull out his phone. You watch him type your location in— no doubt to the police to bring you in. The weight of what was happening finally settled in, shoulders slumping closing your eyes in defeat. Your little cat-and-mouse game with Deku was finally over; he won.

Slipping his phone back into the pocket, Midoriya looked up to your solemn face. He was happy, finally succeeding in bringing you to justice (although short-term, petty-theft was the least worried about in this society) he had to admit he would miss the thrill of chasing after you. Reaching into your bag for the necklace, he cleared his throat.

“These last years have been fun, but it’s too bad really.” He watched your eyes peek open, watching him in suspicious interest. “You’re very skilled, you could be using that for something better.”

Deku carefully pulled the necklace from the bag, holding it in his large hand with the utmost care. A grin broke out on your flushed face, eyes narrowed. “Sure, but where’s all the fun in that?”

Looking back up at you, a gentle smile on his freckled face only made yours hotter; he was still too kind, even restraining you from any movement. Throughout you years of evading him, he had always been polite in a gentle, yet stern way. You never hurt anyone, or made moves to harm him, so you’re sure that played into his refusal of getting too physical...but a part of you was wondering if there was more to that kindness then Deku was letting on.

“It’s fun to do good though. Helping people is the best kind of thrill you can get!” When he noticed the look of amused doubt, he only tried harder. “Really, I’m serious! You’d be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels!”

You tried tugging your wrists free, as he squeezed a little harder than comfortable as he got excited. “Whatever, incase you can’t tell, I’ll be on my way to jail here pretty soon— there’s not a chance for me to do any good.” His grip loosened only slightly, apologizing under his breath as his thumb rubbed against your skin softly.

It was quiet a little longer, and dread settled in the pit of your stomach when you saw the cop car pulling up across the street.

“When you get out then, I’ll take you out and show you how fun it can be.”

Startled at the offer, your gaze snapped back to his. Green eyes were sparkling with determination, a shaky, handsome smile adorning his face. Another beat of silence past as the two of you stared at the other, until a toothy grin stretched across your lips.

“Are you asking me on a date, Deku?” The teasing tone of voice had him flustered, but his resolve didn’t crumble; nodding his head and stepping closer.

“If that’s what you want to call it, then yes. I’ll gladly take you on a date when you get out.”

As you sat in the back of the cop car, hands cuffed and on your way to a cell, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be too worried. You had a date to look forward to these next couple of months.

#midoriya izuku #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku scenario #kitkat24687

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fantasymouse · 6 years ago

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A Lazy Saturday ~Requested

Note: Thanks for requesting and it makes me so happy to know you’re enjoying the stuff I’m posting!! (I have no clue how you enjoy reading through my terrible writing skills - but it’s much appreciated!)

bf!Jungkook x reader

Warning(s): Plotless fluff (in case you’re allergic)

Word count: 1490

Waking up to a fist hitting you in the face had slowly grown to be a norm. Granted it was still extremely annoying but what could you do? Turning your groggy head to the owner of said hand, you’re met with an ethereal sight. Your boyfriend Jungkook is sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly agape as his steady breaths serve to calm your growing irritation. “You’re staring” he suddenly says while peeking one coffee colored eye open to look at you. Jumping at him, he grunted in pain as you landed directly on his tummy. “You jerk! You did that on purpose!!” your voice was still slightly hoarse after not using it for several hours of deep slumber. Jungkook laughed evilly as you tried hitting him using your feeble strength.

“You were drooling on me! What was I supposed to do? It’s not my fault you sleep like a rock” this statement only fueled your desire for revenge further. Since you had managed to lay on top of your muscle pig of a boyfriend and he had wrapped his strong arms around you, he practically handed out the opportunity to attack. Striking quick as a snake, you tickled him. Of course his immediate response to this onslaught was to get you away from himself. Which he did… By throwing you off of the bed and onto the icy cold, hard, wooden floor. shrieking as you went down, he admittedly had tried to catch you when he realized what he’d just done. Sadly his reflexes were too slow and you landed with an unusually loud thump. “Oh my god! Are you okay?” the sheets fell from his chest as he sat upright and stared down at you.

With a pointed glare you answered “I’ll be fine… But you sir, are going to make breakfast”. you stood up and brushed yourself off, trying to fix Jungkook’s messy shirt you’d used to sleep in for the night. When your eyes met again, he was smiling guiltily at you. Not able to resist his charm, you returned his smile. While you headed to the bathroom to draw yourself a bath, Jungkook started preparing breakfast for the both of you. 30 minutes later, a simplistic yet delicious meal was ready to be eaten. You’d already started to dig in, Jungkook on the other hand… Just before taking a hold of his cutlery, he had pulled out his phone and started angling it so he could get an Instagram worthy photo of what he’d created. Just as he was about to snap the picture you took ahold of his fork and started messing up his precisely organized food. “NOOO! You monster” Jungkook howled at you. However this was hard to hear, over your bellowing laughter. “Just eat it already you big goof” he could only sigh in slight disappointment and start eating with you.

Not feeling like doing anything interesting today, you both opted to just stay at home and have what you called a lazy saturday. You sat on the couch with your life in your hands (aka. your phone) and Jungkook’s head laying on your thigh. Looking up from the screen to what Kookie was currently playing on his phone, you noticed that he was having trouble beating a level on an app called Piano Tiles. “You’re not doing so great hot stuff” you remarked cheekily, he didn’t respond until he lost the round again. “It’s my hair… I can’t see where I’m tapping!” it was obvious this was just a poorly constructed excuse to sucking at this level. Luckily for him, you had an idea. You tapped his soft cheek, making him lift his head from your lap with a whine. You then proceeded to sprint into your bedroom and get some hair clips and hair bands each accessory matching a color of the rainbow. Running back to sit on the couch once again, Jungkook dutifully lifted his head to resume using your leg as a pillow.

Without a word you started to make small ponytails out of different tufts of his dark hair. When you finished making him look like a porcupine, you found Jungkook to be half asleep. A fond smile spread to your lips as you remembered all of the times you had been able to make him fall asleep just by playing with his hair. The moment was quickly ruined when Jungkook grunted in annoyance and slapped at your wrist multiple times. “Why’d you stop? Keep going!” he practically purred, with a sigh you started fiddling with his hair again. Not taking out any of the work you’d just done, of course. “I’m not your servant you know that right Kookie?” his joyful giggle almost masked the hidden undertone of mischief laced within his voice.

“I love you~” Jungkook suddenly blurted out. With a coy smile you leant down and kissed his forehead, playfully responding “I know~”.

Later that night, Jungkook had gotten a call from his friend Jimin. Him and the rest of the boys had decided to head out drinking and wanted Jungkook and yourself to join them. Since neither of you had anything better to do, you agreed to meet them down at a local bar. It was incredibly nice seeing all of the boys again, it seemed like forever ago you’d last hung out with them like this. Almost all of you had gotten drunk, with the exception of Taehyung, Namjoon and Jungkook (who were the designated drivers for tonight).

The other boys that were drunk was still a comical sight to see, Jin and Hoseok had been extra talkative and playful/mischievous throughout the night. Yoongi had at first turned very lively and spent most of the evening entertaining you with his cheerful banter, at least until he fell asleep in the corner of the booth you all were located at. Secretly your personal favorite drunk was Jimin. If he was cute and adorable before, he’d double that 10x times the amount of alcohol he had. Ever since he downed that first drink, Jimin had been hanging off of your side being extra cuddly. And as you yourself turned into quite the cuddle bear while drunk; this clingy attitude was considered very welcome company. When the clock struck 1 a.m. you all decided it was time to head home. As you said your goodbyes you had to lean your wait against Jungkook just in case you stumbled. “Geez how much did you drink?!” he had grumbled when you actually tripped over the air as you both walked started to walk towards your car.

Why did you have to park so far away again? Within barely 15 seconds of walking you had managed to trip over a loose piece of pavement, your own feet and a twig that wasn’t even in your path (to your defense, it looked like there had been 2 GIANT branches in front of you). Tired of having almost all of your weight hanging on his shoulder, Jungkook decided to be generous and give you a piggyback ride

“How much did you drink! How can you be so wasted?” Jungkook grumbled in annoyance as you started to doze off on his back. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders, securing you from falling down. Instead of answering his question you started laughing softly, he turned his head trying to catch a glimpse of your sleepy face and the reason for your sudden laughter. “Kookie~ Do you remember when we did this in college?” once you brought up this memory he too started laughing, a certain fondness in his eyes as he thought back on those nights that had been so similar to this night. “Yeah I remember… I also seem to recall you saying ‘I love you’ first” a deep blush appeared on your cheeks as you scrunch your brows in confusion.

“I don’t remember that? No, you definitely said that first… Why’d you never tell me?” Jungkook laughed at your befuddlement, the memory fresh in his mind. “We weren’t together at that time, remember? I had always had a crush on you and when you said that, I wanted to confront you the next day… But you didn’t remember any of it, so I decided to just never mention it to you”. Distinctly you reminisce of the time where you both had only been friends. It almost seemed like another lifetime ago. You could barely even remember how your life had been without Jungkook in it. “Besides, there was no way I could ever let you get away with saying ‘I love you’ first!” he jokingly exclaimed. You giggled as he started jumping around before putting you down.

When your feet landed on the ground, you spun Jungkook around to face you. Throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him down, you whisper “I love you~” a sweet kiss following your proclamation. He smiled in return and said;

“I know~”.

#bts #bts jungkook #bts kookie #bts x reader #jungkook #jungkook x reader #x reader #bf!au #bts bf!au #boyfriend au #request

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mrcupoffail · 6 years ago

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Ninjago TV Show (CMF Draft)

The Ninjago TV had lots of costume and characters that haven’t been put into sets, so before Ninjago ends, (whenever that is), it be good if there was a CMF series of the Ninjago TV show, so people could get all the characters and costumes they wish were made into sets.

Figure 1-6 Lumberjack Cole, Red Shogun Kai, Nya, Zane, Teacher Jay, Pajama Lloyd.

So the first few minifigures are already the original Ninjago characters, wearing non-Ninja uniform during the season.

Cole being a lumberjack in episode 35, having that hat/hair combo and a recolor axe, the torso printing would also help go well with anyone making something relating to Lumberjacks in their LEGO City.

Kai as the Red Shogun, something for those who want some wrestling figures, his accessory would be the head of his enemy… Kruncha’s skull, what you think I was talking about.

Nya in her uniform during season 4 to 8, her right arm being printed with that watch, a hat/hair combo from episode 55 or that “clever disguise” during 56, either one would be useful for some sort of stop motion video, or studio MOC. Her accessory would obviously be the welding tool.

Zane in his pre-season 8 civilian uniform, he would be having two heads, one silver and the other yellow. Having both hair pieces, so he would not have any accessory, but if he has to have either yellow or silver, the accessory would be Pixel’s chip for the silver, and a trans-light blue bowl for the yellow.

Jay as a teacher during episode 27, he would be having some leg printing rather than just blank legs, the facial expression would be two sided, one being joyful and the other very disappointed.

Accessory are a spoon and printed lightning bowl.

Lloyd in his Pajamas, sense like Nya, Lloyd has the least amount of different clothes. Accessory would be his phone and that small dragon made from a watermelon.

Figure 7-8 Anacondrai Garmadon and Anacondrai Skylor

Sense there can’t be a Wu, do to all his clothes already being made into sets. There would be a Anacondrai Garmadon, along with Anacondrai Skylor, the purple hair on both of them would be useful for the low life minifigures and the Anacondrai for collectors.

They both won’t be having any accessories.

Figure 9 Dr. Julien

Obviously not gonna get him in any of Ninjago’s future sets, because he’s dead. It would be the perfect minifigure for this series and would match well with other scientist minifigure.

Sense his uniform is unchanged from his young and old self. He would be having a double-sided face of the young and old, along with two of the same hair pieces in different colors, and the accessory would be a red oil can.

Figure 10 Lou

His hair would be using the Obi-Own hair from the clone wars, he be good for a LEGO City with that uniform, and his accessory is a new trophy piece that could attach a claw piece, or a walking stick.

Figure 11 Cliff Gordon

And last of the main character family member for my pick of this list. Who’s also a dead character, so he’ll fit right in with Julien; Cliff would be in his Fritz Donnegan costume, having a sand blue ray gun for his accessory.

Figure 12 Khanjikhan

Just to add one of the villain’s family member.

Getting this guy would be nice to have that 4 arm torso recolored and without the Sky Pirate logo. From the look of the hair, he would be having the hair that been used on Aurra Sing in white. The accessory is likely nothing, him having the Djinn Blade is pretty much a hope.

Figure 13 The Mechanic

We have literally seen this guy twice, one time in Sky Pirates, and again in Sons of Garmadon. He’ll pretty much would have a new headwear piece, and likely his left arm would be printed with a newly moulded hand, but I’m hoping it would be both a new moulded arm and hand.

He wouldn’t have any accessories, because I have no idea what his accessories could be.

Now to get 4… pretty much no one cares about them, characters in the pick.

Figure 14-15 Simon and Tommy the Detectives

They would get some leg printing, sense there isn’t much to them. Both would be having double sided faces and have a stun gun, which a new gun piece could be good for LEGO city, along with these printings for someone’s city.

Figure 16 Sally

The printing would be good for a minifigures in a school MOC.

She would be having a double-sided face of happy one-side and scare the other. Accessories I have no idea what they would be.

Figure 17 Sky Pirate Soldier

This would add more to someone’s Sky Pirate army, which is likely only one person doing that very thing, but at least you’ll get a new hat or hair piece, along with face printing from this one.

Which the soldier could either be this one with the big hair piece, or the dark red sailor hat, I would go with the sailor for the figure, because I really don’t like that layered hair piece. Either of the two would be having a different leg printing, unless there’s a big gap between the Sky Pirate sets and whenever there would be a Ninjago TV show CMF pack, that would make an acception, like with the boombox that Robin has in Batman CMF series 2.

The accessory wouldn’t be anything special. It likely be a sword and rope.

Figure 18 Jacob Pevsner

Now to have an elemental Master from tournament of elements in this pack, is Jacob Pevsner, the elemental master of sound.

He would come with a new guitar piece, both the printing and hair he has would be great for something 70s related.

Figure 19 Golden Jay

With Golden Kai coming out during 2017, it would be good to get the rest of the Golden Ninjas.

He’ll be updated with new leg printing as well, and hopefully this time we get the Ninja Bandana in gold, rather than a gold mask.

Also he wouldn’t have Katana as accessories, instead it would be his Techno Blade in gold.

Figure 20 Pink Ninja

And finally is the great… Pink Ninja

It pretty much be a complete recolor of Zane’s original Ninja uniform in dark pink, and be having a very disappointed expression.

His accessories would be the snake flute, and a 2x2 tile of his uniform folded… and it’s pink.

I may make a round 2 pick at some point, but comment below if you want to see something of that soon. Along with what you think of my pick and what your pick for a Ninjago TV show CMF would be in the comments as well.

#ninjago #cmf #lego #jay #zane #cole #kai #nya #lloyd #collectible minifigure series #minifigure

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diaryofjanedoerealshitdarkplaces · 7 years ago

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Lilly and Harold

“No! No! You know better than to behave this way! Spit me out! Do it now, or I will light up in here! The smoke makes you vomit! Remember the last time?!” Lilly’s muffled screams come from inside of the jowls of her overgrown carnivorous pet plant.

The six foot plant opens it’s large toothless mouth, spitting Lilly onto the ground. She is covered from head to toe with slimy nectar; not dissimilar to a dog’s saliva. The plant had large fangs once. When Lilly’s mother was still alive, she would smoke skinny cigarettes held by a long skinny cigarette holder in the garden. Her mother knew that Harold the killer plant wouldn’t attempt to eat her as long as she was blanketed in a cloud of purple cigarette smoke. Smoke makes Harold heave. “You can’t eat if you’re throwing up.” This was Mom’s theory. Over the years, the old plant has lost all of his teeth, due to old age. Harold has been a prized pet at Cobb Manor for three generations now. Lilly presumes that the plant will outlive her too.

Lilly has just turned eleven years old, and she knows that she will not live to see twelve. She doesn’t mind. No one ever leaves Cobb Manor anyway. She had spoken with her grandfather just this morning, before the sun came up, over a cigar and coffee. She had smoked a fat purple cigar out of a fancy, black, long cigar holder; blowing smoke designs into the shapes of spiders in their webs. Meanwhile, her grandfather had sat next to her, scolding her about how the cigars were going to kill her one day. He had attempted to drink a cup of joe. He only made a mess. You can’t eat or drink when you’re a spook. Everything just falls to the floor. But, that didn’t stop Grandpa Cobb.

Lilly stands up and wipes the slime from her once frilly purple dress, “Spit out my hat too, you overgrown old gummer!”

The plant spits the slimy frill ball directly into Lilly’s face. The nectar slime is still dripping down her legs from her long lavender hair. When her hair is dry, it only hangs passed her waist. But, drenched in Harold slime, it now hung and clung to the back of her thighs.

“I love you Harold. But, you are a vile creature.” Lilly said.

The plant snorts, spraying more warm nectar snot onto her face.

“I hate you.” Lilly says before turning and walking back to Cobb Manor for a bath.

The double doors to the manor are engraved with large cursive letters. The door on the left presents itself with a C, and the door on the right wears an M. Cobb Manor was much like the mansion of The Great Gatsby in it’s day. The manor had the largest and most luxurious parties around. Also, much like in The Great Gatsby, no one ever met the owner of Cobb Manor either. At least, no one who lived to tell about it. This is how Harold was fed in his prime. Party guests that were good and liquored up were a nice meal for Harold. He particularly liked the drunk ones. They gave him a good buzz. Lately, stray dogs and cats are blended up with a splash of Patron Silver, in a large blender; a blender that had to be special ordered from Germany. He can’t speak, but Lilly knows that Harold thinks he has been downgraded from steak to hotdogs.

As Lilly reaches to open the double doors and go inside, she realizes that she has left her large backpack filled with explosives at the edge of the garden, along with her large violet blunderbuss. She wonders how she has made it this long on her own. When her family was alive, they always kept her on track. Lilly is the spitting image of her mother. Her mother had

been a classy chain smoking daredevil who tested artillery. To be specific, Lilly’s mother was shot out of cannons. Her mother would have never let Lilly leave weapons and explosives lying around. Lilly’s father was a hunter. He was a good one too. He had a room full of trophies in the east wing of the manor to prove it. Her sister was on her way to becoming one of the best explorers of this time. That was before the family curse took her. Lilly’s brother had wanted to be in the circus. Her brother had been apprenticing under their mother, and learning to fly out of the cannon, while performing impressive flips and stunts in the air. Lilly had also learned to fly from the cannon, and did so by lighting the fuse with her cigar on it’s long holder. The cannon was the fastest and most efficient way for Lilly to get around. The car had broken down only two months after her brother had passed away.

Her family had died, one by one; all from different causes at different times. The first to die was her Grandpa. The Cobb family chalked it up to old age. Grandpa Cobb had died in his sleep. One month later, Grandma Cobb forgot to smoke something while walking though the garden, and was gummed to death by Harold. That stupid plant didn’t even get to eat her. She was too big for him to swallow. Lilly was unsure if she could ever forgive Harold for killing and trying to eat Grandma Cobb. Lilly’s father died two days after Grandma. He had gone out hunting; just as he had done every day before. Only, on this day, a tree fell over and smashed him flat. A tree! Lilly now hated the trees that she once loved, and did whatever she could to destroy them. Lilly’s sister was the next to go. She had gone exploring, found their fathers body, and in her attempt to free his body from beneath the huge tree, a rattle snake bit her numerous times. She didn’t wrap her extremity off fast enough before the poison got to her heart; it killed her within seconds. Her mother died a week after her sister’s funeral. Lilly’s mother had went down into the garden, punched Harold square in the face, letting her cigarette holder dangle from her drunken lips, and then she launched herself out of the cannon; disregarding the proper landing technique. Once her body made impact with the hard ground, she was killed instantly. Lilly’s brother only lived for a month after mom died. He went into town, drenched himself in diesel fuel at the Seven Eleven, and lit a match, forcing the poor gas station cashier to extinguish him. She had been too late. He had burnt himself as crispy as the hotdogs that the gas station had been trying to sell to the public. That was six months ago. Lilly is sure that she is next. She also wonders what is taking so long.

The sun is setting behind the trees, creating a glare. Lilly walks back down the steps of the manor, passes the graves of her family; they are located in the front yard. Mom had thought that if they were all buried here, then maybe they would all end up in the same place on the other side. She is halfway right. Only, there was not another side. Being buried here only leaves us trapped inside of the manor. Lilly has to get to the garden before sundown to retrieve her weapon and ammunitions. Her family makes themselves visible in her cigar smoke… But, only at night. She can’t be late for their nightly meeting. The only other living things that she has to talk to during the daylight hours are the numerous bugs that infest the manor. She knows that she should do something about it. Her mother would be mortified if she knew. Luckily, during the night hours the bugs tended to stay away. These bugs are the opposite of cockroaches. These bugs thrive in the daylight hours. Two of them insist on thriving in her long flowing purple hair. It used to bother her, but she no longer minds her bug accessories.

Lilly shields her eyes from the glaring sun. She can’t see where she is going. It’s too bright. She trips over something, and falls head first into the grave that she had dug for herself after her brother died. She lands hard, breaking her arm. Lilly stands to her feet. The glare disappears and the darkness sets in. She will have to summon her family from the grave. This wasn’t going to be a good meeting. The thought of it gave her flashbacks to the first time that she had lied to her family about eating the last of the sugar cookies, and blaming it on Harold. She

should have known better; Harold can’t walk, let alone sneak into a kitchen to eat a full bag of sugar cookies. She was scolded by each family member, to include her younger brother and her older sister. It was mortifying, and this was going to be much worse. She is stuck in a grave, that she dug for herself, six feet deep, while she only stands four foot eleven. She is dainty, just like her mother had been. At least now she knows how she is going to die. Alone, in a grave, without any weapons, or ammunition, starving to death, while being scolded by all of her dead relatives. She only has six cigars left. If she only smokes them halfway down, and only at night, that will allow for two meetings per relative, which is two relatives per cigar; allowing her to speak with everyone twice. She decides that she will only speak with her brother and sister once, and smoke one cigar now, for pleasure. Lilly sits in the corner of her cold dark grave, placing a cigar in her fancy holder. She lights the end of the cigar with a match. Florescent purple light illuminates the end of it, while a lavender smokey haze fills the grave. Lilly decides that there is no point in summoning anyone tonight. Either way, she is going to be in a heap of trouble. Lilly closes her eyes, with the cigar holder still dangling from her smiling lips. She falls asleep, and begins to dream of when she got to feed Harold for the very first time. The dream shows up in a hologram on the haze of smoke filling the grave. Lilly had fed Harold a mail man, that never delivered the family’s packages on time. It was rather satisfying to hear the mail man's bones crunch under the few teeth that Harold had left at the time.

Lilly wakes up to a raven cawing at the edge of her grave. “What is this? A Poe reference for my life?” She thought. “Shew! Get out of here!” Lilly waves her arms at the bird above her. The bird doesn’t move. In fact, the bird turns around and drops a bomb of poo directly atop of Lilly’s frilly purple ball shaped hat. “Seriously?!” Lilly takes off her hat and starts stomping it into the ground, frustrated. The bird watches her ridiculous tantrum from above. “Caw!” The raven says once more. Lilly detaches the hatchet from her waist. She is about to launch it at the raven, when she realizes that she can use it to get out of the grave. Lilly smiles up at the raven. “I once heard that it’s good luck when a bird poops on you! I guess we are about to see, aren’t we?! You ugly bird!” Lilly uses the hatchet to claw into the side of the dirt wall. She uses it as a foot hold. Her broken arm is throbbing, but she is going to ignore it. Once she has a good placement for her unbroken arm to bear most of her body's weight, she retrieves the hatchet from beneath her feet. She heaves the hatchet into the dirt wall again, securing a higher foot placement for her to climb onto. She repeats this sequence one more time, and is able to climb out of the grave. The raven flies away as she crawls onto the solid ground above.

Lilly rises to her feet, walks to the edge of the garden. Her backpack, and blunderbuss are still where she left them. Harold smacks his gummy plant lips at her from inside of the garden, indicating that he is hungry.

“I know Harold! I am hungry too. You will have to wait. I didn’t have time to hunt stray animals for you last night. In fact, I didn’t even talk to the family last night; whom hate you by the way! They all say I should let you starve!”

Harold whimpers.

“I know. That wasn’t nice. I’m sorry. I am however, just as hangry as you are. I am going to go inside, put this purple, now crunchy frilly dress, thanks to you, into the wash. I am going to take a bath, get some food, and then I will hunt you down a nice kitty or two to eat. How does that sound?”

Harold growls.

“Yeah, well it will have to do! Because, that is the best that you will get out of me today.” Lilly says, as she lifts her backpack onto her back with her good arm, and squeals in pain as she puts the strap over her broken arm.

Harold makes a curious sound.

“Yeah, yeah… I broke my arm. Don’t get any big ideas butthole! You can’t eat me! Remember Grandma?! She was just over glorified chewing gum. You couldn’t swallow her! You need me! I have to hunt for you, and prepare your food. You will live or die by my hand! Think about that while I am gone! You ungrateful plant of death!”

Lilly unloads her backpack and her blunderbuss in the foyer, near the front entrance of the manor. She walks directly to the kitchen and grabs a purple plumb muffin out of the breadbox. She opens the refrigerator door, retrieves some freshly squeezed grape juice that gleams in a dark purple hue of deliciousness, along with lavender lemon jelly to spread on top of her muffin. She takes the muffin and glass of juice to go; upstairs to her master bath. She runs a hot bath, sets her food and drink on the counter near the sink, and walks to the laundry room to strip off her nectar covered crunchy clothes. Lilly grabs a velvety royal purple towel from the towel rack in the hallway and wraps it around her body. The towel’s color is an exact match to her hair color. The more purple food that she eats, the more purple her hair becomes.

There is a chromosome that is mutated within her family’s bloodline. It is similar to the one that is found in red heads. Only, this chromosome allows her family to control the hue of their purple hair through the amount of purple food that they consume. It may also play a part in why they are all mysteriously dying one after another. But, that will be a conspiracy theory for another day.

Lilly turns the tub faucet off, and places her hand just beneath the bubbles to check the water’s temperature. It is still too warm. She walks into her master closet and decides on an outfit for the day. She pulls out a casual lavender blouse, and a matching skirt. Nah, too boring. She is going hunting today. She should wear her hunting outfit. She loves her hunting dress. But, she doesn’t think that she will need the large purple helmet that she usually wears with this outfit. The helmet is very heavy, and it comes intact with a pair of large purple sand goggles. Instead, she swaps out the helmet for a lavender sunhat that rests on her head comfortably, and a pair of round purple lensed non prescription reading glasses. Sure, the outfit would be cuter with the helmet. But, she only intended on getting Harold squirrels today. She is mad at him, after all. He had tried to eat her yesterday.

It is how her terrible day had started, to be precise. Lilly walks back to the bath. The temperature is perfect. Lilly tosses the towel onto the floor and disappears underneath the plum bubbles of her bath tub. Coming up for air, after two minutes of submersion, Lilly decides that she will need her small purple pistol today. No need to blow the squirrels to bits. She did love lighting the explosives with her cigar, before dropping them into her blunderbuss and pulling the trigger. But, it would ruin the squirrel meat. The small pistol would not ruin the meat. Did it matter? She was going to blend the squirrel up with tequila anyway.

Lilly hears scratching noises coming from the base of the bathtub. She peers over the edge of the tub. The bugs are back. The same two bugs. Waiting for her to get out of the bath and style her hair, so that they can nestle into it.

Lilly wraps herself in the velvety towel, grabs her plum muffin and her grape juice from the counter top, and carries it into her bedroom. She sits atop of her bed and relishes in every last bite. Swallowing it all down with the delicious grape juice. Lilly puts on her hunting outfit, uses a towel to dry her hair, and puts on the glasses and sunhat. Lilly takes a look into the mirror just as her two bug companions jump onto the rim of the hat; hitching a ride for the day.

Lilly kills six squirrels in a two hour time frame, and blends them up with more tequila than usual. She hopes that the liquor will disguise the fact that it is squirrel and not cat or dog. She is now taking Harold from hotdogs to Vienna sausages. He is not going to be pleased if he can tell the difference. But, in Lilly’s rotten mood toward Harold today, she didn’t much care what Harold thought. She just didn’t feel like hearing him complain. Plus, if he was drunk enough, he might pass out before his flatulence sets it. The plant has the worst belches and farts that she has ever smelled.

Harold gulped down the squirrel margaritas without a complaint. He was likely too hungry to taste anything as fast as he ate today anyhow. Harold let out a large belch, leaving a lime green revolting cloud of floating gas in it’s wake. Then he swayed back and forth for a bit, and passed out; drunk. Lilly had completed her mission. Get the plant drunk, and hope that he doesn’t fart. He belched, so she supposed it was a halfway win.

The sun will be setting soon. Lilly is thinking of drinking some of the tequila herself. Maybe, it will help with the pain in her arm. She didn’t dare. She is far too young to drink hard liquor. Plus, what liquor is left, has to spread out over time for Harold. She won’t not be able to purchase more alcohol at her age. She had already started making hooch in the backyard. The fruit has been fermenting for weeks underground. Hopefully, when she pulls it back up, it will be good enough to get Harold drunk. The plant is a full fledged alcoholic. He will start having withdrawal seizures if Lilly takes him off of the liquor cold turkey.

The sun sets behind the mountain view, as Lilly sits on the front steps of the manor. She is not ready to go inside. She wants to tell her mom about her terrible day. But, she is not ready to be scolded for her stupidity. The sun is set, and the street lamps below illuminate. It is time. Lilly takes a hand rolled cigarette from her cigar box. Grandpa Cobb had been a pothead. He taught Lilly how to roll a proper joint. Lilly however, has no interest in marijuana, so she uses her skill to roll finer tobacco into really fat cigarettes when she is bored. Her hand rolled cigarettes are the only thing that she will smoke, aside from her trusty cigars. She lites the end of her plump tightly rolled cigarette. She has to smoke it without her cigar holder. The hand rolled cigarettes didn’t fit inside properly, and they just fall to the ground. The end of the cigarette gleams with a bright purple reflection on the manor doors as she inhales. She holds in the smoke, opens the doors, and blows the violet hazed cigarette smoke throughout the foyer, bringing the outline of her mother to life. Gazing upon her mother is always like looking into a mirror that tells her what her future holds. Nothing is different, she looks exactly the same, only twenty five years older, and likely dead.

“Where have you been?! We have all been worried sick! Are you alright?! Get over here so that I can have a look at you!” Her mother exclaims.

Lilly takes another puff of her cigarette, and blows more purple haze into the room. So, that she doesn’t loose sight of her mother. Lilly lets her cigarette dangle from her lips as her mother plucks the two bugs out of her hair, and tosses them across the room. “I fell into my grave and I am pretty sure that I broke my arm.” Lilly mutters with her cigarette still in her mouth.

“Take that thing out of your mouth, and use a proper cigarette holder… You look like a homeless bar fly, with that thing dangling from your lips. Not to mention, the bugs that I just gathered from your locks!”

Lilly takes another deep inhale, then exhales a large amount of smoke back into the room. Her mother was beginning to fade from view. “I can’t get rid of the cig, or I can’t see you mom. You know this. Just as I can’t feed Harold without smoking. That is what started this nasty habit in the first place. Remember?”

“Yes, I know all too well. That nasty plant ate my mother. You should let that plant starve.”

“I told him that you said that. He cried.”

“Good, now come here and show me this broken arm of yours.”

Lilly held out her left arm. It is swollen and a little red. There are bruises beginning to form. If there is a fracture it is internal and will require an X-ray for a proper diagnosis. Luckily, Grandma Cobb had acquired x-ray vision after her death. Dad says it is likely something that she contracted from Harold’s saliva getting into her bloodstream before she died. Harold has X-ray vision all of the time. This is just the way the plant sees the world, and most importantly how he sees his dinner. If it doesn’t have bones, he is not interested… Unless, it is alcohol.

“Summon your Grandma Cobb to have a look at you. I love you dear. I will see you again tomorrow night, okay?” Her mother says, kissing her on the forehead and then she disappears.

Lilly’s arm is beginning to feel better, and she isn’t ready to face the reality of whether it is actually broken or not. She decides to spare herself another lecture from Grandma tonight. Lilly goes into the kitchen, cuts up an eggplant, sautés it in a butter and garlic sauce. When it is cooked, she places it over a blue corn tortilla, which we all know is more purple in color than it is blue. Lilly walks to the fridge and grabs the shredded parmesan cheese. She opens the bag and sprinkles a decent amount of it over the hot eggplant, and watches it melt. Once it meets her gooey deliciousness standards, she wraps it up in the shape of a burrito. She doesn’t want to dirty a plate. Lilly takes her burrito and walks outside, through the side doors of the kitchen. These doors lead directly to the garden. Lilly can hear Harold heaving as she approaches.

“What’s the matter Harold? Did dinner make you sick? You had a lot of tequila. Also, I fed you squirrel.”

Harold let out a weak growl and then began to heave again.

“You don’t look so good Harold. I would come in and comfort you… But, I am enjoying this delicious eggplant parm burrito. It is freaking delicious. I bet you are jealous, huh?”

More heaving.

“Mom just said that I should kill you. She says that every time that I mention your name. Mom really hates you.”

Harold attempts to growl.

“I am thinking about doing it.”

Harold whimpers.

“Maybe we can go out together. I’ll kill us both at once.”

Harold made his confused noise.

Lilly polishes off her eggplant parm burrito, places a cigar into her holder, lites up, and walks into the garden, to be face to face with her pet plant.

“My mom never liked you. Grandma loved you. Look where that got her. I love you too. Apparently, it skips a generation. Grandma said that you would die in my lifetime. She said that you likely won’t live more than five years, tops, without your teeth. You have already lived two years without them.”

Harold whimpers again.

“I am pretty sure my arm is broken. Is it Harold?” Lilly points to her left arm.

The plant nods.

Lilly sighs, “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. Mom alluded to the fact that I couldn’t see a professional. They would find out that I am here alone, with a killer plant, and that the rest of my family is dead, and buried in the front yard. They would lock my in the nut hut for sure.”

Harold nods again.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion!”

Harold whimpers.

“So, what do you say? Should we be ghosts? I can reunite with my family, and you can get your teeth back. Grandpa says he feels high all of the time now. I bet you could have a constant buzz too, Harold.”

Harold makes a happy sound.

“Well, it’s settled then. I will tell the family that we are ready. I don’t think that they should miss this, do you?”

Harold shakes his head.

Lilly smiles, takes a puff from her cigar holder and blows a smoke design in the shape of herself hugging Harold above her head.

Harold cries happy tears.

Lilly goes back inside, gets her family to gather around the garden, she grabs her purple pistol, and her large blunderbuss. Lilly lights the ammunition with her the florescent purple glowing cigar, and drops it into the violet blunderbuss. “I love you Harold!”

Harold smiles as a tear falls to the ground. Lilly pulls the trigger. Harold’s head explodes and projects peaces of plant across the garden. All that is left, is the lifeless stem that held him captive in this garden for too many years.

Lilly kisses her beloved purple blunderbuss and places it gently onto the ground. She looks up to the sky, aims her smaller pistol beneath her chin, and pulls the trigger.

The Cobb Manor is now open for business again. New owners have renovated it. The new owners throw lavish parties to keep up with the manor’s history. The new owner’s soon learn that they are not alone, and in order to continue to be successful with their parties, they will have to throw costume parties. Ghosts are not as easily sighted when they are thought to be nothing more than the back drop to a party theme. Party goers, particularly the drunk ones, often come up missing. Harold is likely to blame.

Written by,

-R. L. -DiaryofJaneDoeRealShitDarkPlaces

Main Characters created by,

-Lilly Cobb, the young lady of Cobb Manor; on Tumblr, and waldorkler/ Things might be here; on Tumblr

-R. L. -DiaryofJaneDoeRealShitDarkPlaces was asked by the creator of Lilly Cobb’s character to write a short story about her. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how this story was born. R. L. hopes that you have enjoyed it. The Diary of Jane Doe; Real Shit Lives in Dark Places would like to thank Lilly Cobb, the young lady of Cobb Manor, and waldorkler for asking her to write this piece on such a fun character. R. L. will be a fan of Lilly Cobb and any creations made in her image from this point forward.

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