#I could do with glasses-sized windshield wipers though

[inga-don-studio]

IT FUCKEN WIMDY

[foilfreak]

Beauty and Her Beast: Chapter 3

Warning: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(Link to ao3 version in comments below)

“Going off the information I have listed here, it appears as though you’ll be receiving subject N-45, today. She’s a healthy 22 year old female. Her short, but muscular body weighs 95lbs with a childish height of 4’10” tall. She possesses primarily Romanian and Filipino ancestry, with some Dutch or Finnish or... whatever, thrown in there as well. And according to the various items we found on her person when she was first brought in, she’s apparently a graduate student at the University of Bucharest, or, at least she was, before she drove her car into a tree while driving up the mountain and was recovered by Heisenberg” Miranda explains robotically, reading aloud from a piece of paper held inside a thick manila envelope. “Of the 4 remaining test subjects, N-45 is easily the most violent and difficult one to work with, having to be either anesthetized or restrained every time I wanted to so much as take her vitals or stabilize her condition. When given smaller doses of sedatives she-”

For the first time in his entire life, Salvatore completely ignores whatever unimportant nonsense Mother Miranda is going on about, continuing to take in and analyze the strikingly unique appearance of the young woman before him.

Upon first inspection, N-45 appeared to resemble that of a normal woman in just about every way possible. Her hair was scruffy and very short, barely long enough to reach her eyes, and a deep black color that looked so soft and luxurious that Salvatore ached to run his fingers through it. Her face was slightly round, giving the young woman a very youthful appearance, with her sharp jawline and prominent cheekbones being some of the only things keeping Salvatore from mistaking her for a child. And lastly, her... figure, if Salvatore had to put such an embarrassing idea into words, was similar to that of Mother Miranda, only shorter, more compact even. It reminded the hooded man of those small packets of candy Duke occasionally gifted him that said “fun sized” on the label, in reference to them being much smaller than the standard sized candy bars and yet somehow being… better, despite technically giving you less candy.

She was already perfect as she was, but it was not just N-45’s beautiful human features that pulled Salvatore in and refused to let him escape the stupefaction he’d been placed under, but also her mutations.

A soft royal blue coated her from head to toe, giving way only to a large patch of solid white located on her chest and stomach. Her skin catches the light in a way that reveals areas of tiny overlapping scales, glimmering like stars in the midnight sky, or freshly polished armor, perhaps, along the bony ridges and tender curves of her figure.

Small white dots distributed like paint splatters across the colored sections of her flesh give a similar visual effect as freckles, starting from her hairline and extending all the way down to the very tips of her toes. These galaxies of white were invisible only on the white patch along the front of her torso, as well as on the lighter blue hue taken on by both the palms and webbings of her hands and feet.

Long Fin-like extensions grew along both her forearms and lower back. The former extended outward and inward like a windshield wiper, likely used to decrease water resistance. The latter, however, perhaps used to increase fine motor maneuverability while swimming at greater speeds or in tighter spaces, grew straight downwards from her lower back in an overlapping fan configuration that marginally covered her rear end, though not by very much. The fins looked like a soft, delicate material that was probably very flexible but very durable, if Salvatore had to guess just from looking.

And to top everything off, N-45 even appeared to even have gills, 2 different sets by the looks of it. The first set of 3 breathing slits was located horizontally along both sides of her neck, while the second set could be found on both sides of her torso, following the downward angle of her ribs but stopping just underneath her soft, plump-looking breasts.

Salvatore feels a sudden wave of heat cascade over his body and he turns his face away in shameful embarrassment as he suddenly realizes that N-45, much like every test subject undergoing cadou treatment, was still very, very nude at the present moment.

“I can’t make any promises regarding her disposition, but physically speaking, she’s ready to be released to you whenever you’d like. I’ll have some of the villagers transport and release her into the reservoir later this week” Mother Miranda says, pressing a button to close the pod now that Salvatore was no longer staring at her.

“W-wait just a m-moment” Salvatore calls out, prompting Mother Miranda to halt the closing of the pod.

“Yes? What is it?” The woman asks curtly, clearly not wanting to stand here and watch Salvatore any longer than she has to.

Wringing his hands together nervously, Salvatore meekly asks, “C-could… could y-you wake h-her up… s-so that I can s-speak with her… j-just for a m-moment?”

Mother Miranda remains silent for a moment, blank face staring directly at Salvatore as she contemplates what to do.

“No, Moreau,” she says finally. “I’ve had a very busy day today and I'm quite tired. N-45 is a menace that I struggle to deal with even on my best days. The last thing I need is something going wrong and her getting out and causing all sorts of chaos.”

Salvatore’s shoulders slump in disappointment, but he makes no further attempts to argue.

Mother Miranda rolls her eyes at the incredibly childish display, walking over to place a gentle hand on Salvatore’s head. “Would it make you feel better if I agreed to have N-45 be the first of the subjects to be dropped off? It’ll be more difficult than my original plan, but I suppose it was a bit unfair that you were the only one who didn’t get to “pick” their gift.”

“Yes, M-Mother Miranda… I-I’d like th-that very… very m-much” Salvatore says, leaning into the touch as Mother Miranda begins guiding him back toward the hallway leading to the exit door.

It wasn’t until after Miranda had exited the lab and begun walking down the long hallway toward the exit that Salvatore dared cast another glance back at the pod that contained N-45, wistfully thinking of how amazing her hand had felt in his, and how much he wanted to speak to her.

Just as the disfigured man was about to turn back and follow Miranda out of the laboratory, a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, prompting Salvatore to tense and snap toward the 4 pods, frantically trying to figure out what it was he saw. A few seconds of stillness pass before Salvatore sees movement again, not freely moving about the room like he originally expected, but from within one of the 4 pods, his pod to be exact.

His curiosity momentarily outweighing his nerves, Salvatore slowly approaches the metal capsule, trying to get a look through the small pane of glass that allows visual access into the holding pod.

Another flash of movement has Salvatore flinching, jumping back as though he’d been advanced upon. After several seconds of stillness, however, the hooded man regains his confidence and once again inches his way toward the capsule, moving his head up and down to try and get one more glimpse at N-45 before he has to leave. One last look before she lays eyes upon his vile and disgusting body for the first time, screaming and calling him a monster as she runs away, leaving him alone and without anyone to call his own. Just like always.

“ Hello ?”

Salvatore froze dead in his tracks, his heart pounding and his lungs refusing to take in air, as a soft, muffled, questioning voice reaches the deformed man’s ears, followed by two golden orbs with narrow black slits running vertically through the center, that slowly peek into view from the bottom of the glass window. Salvatore’s eyes widen in shock as he quickly realizes that the orbs of gold are not, in fact, just spheres of color, but rather a pair of eyes, staring intently at him from inside the pod.

“Uuuuuh… u-u-uuum… I-i… I w-was just…” the disfigured man stuttered as he struggled to move his body, seemingly paralyzed by the bewitching gaze currently locked onto him, looking at him with an intensity that makes Salvatore wonder if this is what it feels like to be a cell put under a microscope.

It isn’t until Salvatore notices the golden orbs moving and shifting from one corner of the window pane to the other that the hooded man realizes, to his immediate horror, that he might not be the only one trying to get a better look at the figure located on the other side of the pod door. Panic and fear immediately fill Salvatore from deep within, growing strong enough to allow him to finally overcome his temporary paralysis and skitter away from view. Pulling his hood even further over his petrifyingly grotesque face in shame of himself, Salvatore flees the laboratory as quickly as his hobbled limp would allow.

His heart pounds to the beat of the soft, but desperate pleas of protest coming from N-45’s pod in response to Salvatore’s rapidly retreating form, yet the hooded man cannot bring himself to believe what he hears as true. Perhaps believing that the siren-like voice he hears echoing off the metal laboratory walls to be nothing more than a trick of his sick and lonely mind, Salvatore does not stop, nor does he turn back around until he’s met up with Mother Miranda at the exit to the surface, lungs burning and legs aching from running for so far and long.

“Oh, there you are, Moreau,” Mother Miranda says suddenly, stopping just before they are about to exit the laboratory. “I’m glad you chose this time to finally catch up, because I just realized a second ago that I’d forgotten to give you N-45’s previous name. You can name her something else if you’d prefer, of course, but I offered the information to your siblings so I suppose I should offer it to you as well. Would you still like to know N-45’s name, or would you rather abandon her given name for one of your own choosing?”

After a few seconds of silent contemplation, Salvatore lifts his head, “I… I-i would like to k-know… her n-name… please...” the mutant man says softly.

Mother Miranda briefly raises a questioning eyebrow at Salvatore’s nervous body language, but ultimately rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders, all but tossing the Manila envelope containing N-45’s information at the hooded man before disappearing out the large metal door.

“If you’re going to read that now, feel free, but return to the meeting room once you're done. And be sure to lock the door to my laboratory behind you” Miranda commands, her voice having grown echoey due to how far away she now was.

“Yes, M-Mother” Salvatore calls after her as he scrambles to catch the thrown file and prevent any loose papers from falling out. Once he’s got a solid handle on the thick envelope, he opens it, casting a quick glance back in the direction of the pod room, where Nadine and the other 3 gifts were being held for the time being.

Returning to the file, Salvatore frantically flips through every page, trying to find the one that held N-45’s personal background information.

After several minutes of desperate flipping back and forth, Salvatore finally focuses on one particular piece of paper that looked to have been in the file for the longest. Pulling out the particular page he’d found, the disfigured man drops the rest of the folder onto the ground and begins rapidly skimming through the information printed on the page, his hungry eyes refusing to stop until they finally zeroed in on the information he’d been looking for.

Project: E.V.A. Resurrection

Subject: N-45

Parasite Administered: Cadou (Series- N; Strain- 45)

Family Name: Bogdan

Given Name: Nadine

“N… Nadine” Salvatore said slowly, feeling slightly lightheaded and out of breath as each individual letter of the young woman’s name rolled off his tongue like Camembert cheese; smooth, creamy, decedent, and likely to keep him up all night with an upset stomach and a racing heartbeat.

Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine. Nadine.

The name quickly became a broken loop played over and over and over again inside Salvatore’s head, his mind unable, or rather unwilling, to think of anything else as he read, reread, and then re-reread Nadine’s name at least 100 times, before finally setting the piece of paper down.

“Nadine...” Salvatore breathes the name once again, his voice carrying a wistful tone. “E-even your n-name is wonderful...”

An already beautiful woman, made even more perfect through the power of science and Mother Miranda’s grace, only for all that potential to end up wasted in the hands of a desperately lonely and horrifically mangled fish mutant, who was more likely to accidentally dissolve her in stomach acid than woo her like some kind of aquatic Prince Charming.

“Y-ya right... e-e-even with a-another mutant… I’m s-still so disgusting a-an… and horrifying in comparison… n-not even my o-own kind can b-bring thems-themselves to love me f-for who I a-am… not th-that there’s much of m-me that’s worth l-loving to begin w-with” Moreau laments to himself, wondering if it was even worth holding out hope that things with Nadine could go his way. As if one look at his monstrous form wouldn’t be enough to ruin everything Salvatore already has an agonizingly low chance of ever having with that magnificent specimen of a woman.

Even with Nadine’s own external mutations making it clear that she was no longer fully human, her form had still retained such a beautifully strong, yet womanly shape to it, and her face still looked so young and innocent despite everything that she’s been through. Someone as beautiful as her was far too good and pure to be tainted by his filthy hands.

‘Maybe I should just kill her when the villagers arrive with her at the gate? At least then... I could say I put her out of her misery before she had to experience it for herself…’ Salvatore sulks mentally.

However, despite the self degrading thoughts running through his mind, the memory of the curious look Nadine’s shockingly bright and mesmerizing golden eyes held when trying to look at Salvatore through the pod window made the hooded man shiver, having never been looked upon in such an innocently curious manner before. Most people who got that close to Salvatore didn’t even need to see his face in order to start screaming and running away in terror. However, if the deformed man allowed himself a brief moment to believe that it was indeed her who’d been calling him to come back and show himself, then from the tone and rushed quality of her voice, it would seem as though Nadine was unsatisfied with the fact that she hadn’t seen all of Salvatore’s face and body, not terrified.

How strange...

How very strange indeed…

[anonniemousefics]

All Kinds Of New Friends

Fandom: Six of Crows | Kaz + Inej (ft. all the other Crows)

Word Count: 4,700

Rating: Teen and Up

TW: contains mentions of sexual assault

Cross-posted to AO3

Synopsis: The gang has a run in with a couple of unscrupulous characters from Inej's past, and Kaz says a few things in the middle of a rage he wasn't supposed to say yet.

Author’s Note: This fic is dedicated to AO3 user puppy cat, who was such a supportive, lovely fan from the very first chapter of "My Dearest Inej" all the way to the end. They requested a fic based around a particular idea involving the gang at a restaurant and someone harassing Inej and Kaz losing his shit in a very specific way (being intentionally vague here to avoid too many spoilers lol). If you like this au, there's more of it in my recent fic "Samples". :)

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Nothing brought Kaz Brekker life quite like being paid to argue. And he was good at it, which was why he could charge these student athletes afraid of losing their scholarships two hundred bucks an essay without even flinching. If a more delightful way to make money existed, he had not found it yet.

He was spending his Saturday the way he usually spent Saturdays: rounding out a conclusion to a paper arguing for the death penalty, for a pre-law class he’d never take and a trust-fund upperclassman he’d hopefully never meet. In a few hours, he could drop the doc in a secure server and wait for the Venmo alert that he’d been paid. Nothing was sweeter.

Well. One thing was sweeter.

Inej was in the beat-up old recliner beside him in his and Jesper’s little living room of their third-floor off-campus apartment. This was the best way to spend a Saturday. She was sitting cross-legged and practically drowning in oversized sweats, her raven-black hair piled on top of her head while she hunched over her MacBook. And she was wearing those thick-rimmed, blue-blocker glasses Matthias Helvar had convinced her she needed (which, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that he was being paid to promote them on his stupid Instagram, that douchebag). Kaz had cringed both internally and externally when she’d told him she’d bought a pair, but now he was seeing the merit, because, dear God, was she adorable in glasses. They were awakening strange and powerful urges every time he glanced over at her. If she held them in between her teeth while undoing her hair, he was going to have to leave the room.

Because the terrible reality was that Inej had had a rough go of it her freshman year at Ketterdam University. And even though they were sort of together now (Kaz was pretty sure they were?), the last thing Inej needed right now was to be over-sexualized – for anything. Including those really fucking cute glasses.

“I’m starving,” Jesper declared from his prone position on the floor. He had been propped up on a bunch of faded pillows between them, engrossed in shooting undead things on their Xbox. His boyfriend Wylan had spent most of the afternoon napping against his shoulder, but was now blinking awake like a blue-eyed baby owl at Jesper’s sudden announcement.

“I could eat,” Wylan yawned with a lazy stretch.

“Inej? You?” Jesper reached up to tug on Inej’s sock.

“Hm?” Inej looked up from her laptop like she was emerging from a cave while she gnawed on one of the strings of her sweatshirt. It had been like this since The Incident – Jesper and Nina often took turns making sure she would eat. (Kaz had it covered, but that was all right. The back-up couldn’t hurt.)

“Food? Are you hungry?” Jesper repeated, the unspoken question floating in the air: Have you eaten today?

Inej blinked a few times as she thought, her dark eyes flitting back and forth between Jesper and her laptop screen. Kaz knew this internal war well – the age-old taking care of one’s needs versus the siren-song of wreaking endless revenge.

Inej had come to Ketterdam University on a gymnastics scholarship, but that had fallen by the wayside – ever since The Incident. The night everything changed.

Kaz didn’t know Inej Ghafa all that well before it happened – had taken a few classes with her, studied for an exam with her once. She’d been eternally sunshiney, the kind of girl he knew wouldn’t waste her time on dark things like him.

But then she’d started missing classes.

And then showing up to class visibly drowning beneath the weight of sleeplessness and oversized clothes.

And he didn’t really know her but it had bothered him all the same. It was like watching a star collapsing in on itself.

And that’s when the story of The Incident hit the news cycle. From the moment he read the first headline, Kaz couldn’t stop scrolling, growing sicker and sicker in the pit of his stomach.

She’d gone to a party at a frat house with a new friend. (Kaz had even been there before, maybe even the night it happened. Frat parties were veritable breeding grounds for potential clients – full of rich, connected kids too drunk or stoned to be bothered by classwork and crooked enough to pay someone else to do it.) It was suspected that someone had slipped something in her drink, and it was known that the friend who’d brought her there had been entirely useless. Inej had woken up the next morning, half-naked on the lawn, crude drawings in Sharpie all over her, and no knowledge of what had transpired that had left her there.

It should have ended there – that was bad enough. But then the frat boys had started posting the videos of what had happened that night. How she had been used. How she had been touched.

If Inej’s parents were going to have their way, someone was going to jail. If Kaz was going to have his way, someone was going to suffer all the way there.

After he’d learned the news, he’d found her the next day before class started, where she was at the back of the room, hunched over her desk with her hood up. She’d shot daggers at him with her eyes when he approached. He’d liked that.

“I’d like to help you ruin them,” he’d told her. Inej’s glare didn’t relent as she sized up him – his black attire, the leather gloves that clenched his gleaming cane. He usually made a point of looking like the sort of person who ruined things. Nobody bullied a boy with a cane if it looked like that same boy could take your head off with said cane.

Inej seemed to agree that he looked like he could fit the bill. And they began to plot – how to expose her abusers, how to alert every girl they ever came into contact with, how to ruin every single party they would ever throw.

And somewhere along the way, it had turned into…something. Kaz wasn’t sure what to call it. But he couldn’t call it nothing – not when Inej regularly stayed the night in their apartment and did soft things like run her hand over his chest if she liked the jacket he was wearing or blush and smile if she caught him looking at her. He’d even really gone out on a limb one night and told her he liked her, and she’d said it back. He wasn’t sure where that left them at this point. Somewhere, he guessed, with something.

“I’ll eat,” Inej was agreeing, albeit with a bit of reluctance to leave her laptop. She was elbows-deep in a catfishing scheme Kaz had concocted for their latest victim.

“Nina wants us to meet up with her and Matthias at The Sweet Shop,” Wylan said, who was catching up on the texts he’d missed while napping on Jesper.

“I swear, Nina could lure a polar bear into the jungle,” Jesper sighed next to him, because it was a little miraculous to think Matthias Helvar, fitspo Instagram model and purveyor of all things organic and natural, had somehow been corralled into a bakery cafe. Kaz was surprised that Matthias even looked at carbs, let alone consumed them.  

And, even though he was pressed for time on the illicit essay he was writing, Kaz needed food, too. He and Inej both could use the time away from their questionable dealings online.

The Sweet Shop was within walking distance, but it had begun to rain, cold and foggy, over Ketterdam. So, the four of them piled into Kaz’s beat up black Chevy and rolled into town behind the rhythmic beating of the windshield wipers.

“Over here!” Nina waved to them, beaded bracelets rattling in a stack on her wrist, from the far corner as the bakery’s front door swung closed behind them, tripping a jingling brass bell pinned to the doorframe.

The Sweet Shop was a popular spot for the more bookish crowds to crash on the weekends, load up on starchy foods and coffee while rattling out papers on their laptops or flirting under the guise of study groups. Kaz wouldn’t go so far as to call them his type of people, but he was certainly more at home here than the drunken soirees where he spent his evenings fleecing the debauched children of alumni. Here, there were people crowded over old tables with their books, and well-worn leather sofas and faded overstuffed chairs in the corner lined with secondhand books and used board games that were almost always missing pieces. The air smelled like espresso and cupcakes and old pages, and if Matthias Helvar was going to sulk about the lack of kale on the menu, Kaz might have to punch him in the face.

Matthias was already nursing a colorful smoothie while Nina sat next to him on the old leather sofa, her long, shapely legs draped over his and a stack of sugared waffles on the coffee table in front of her.

“Took you long enough!” Nina was scolding as the four of them weaved through tables to the corner of sofas and chairs. “Do none of you check your phones on weekends?”

“A technology fast is very cleansing for our auras,” Matthias countered, with a sage look – Matthias, the self-proclaimed Instagram influencer. Kaz rolled his eyes.

“That almost sounded like real words, Matthias – good job,” Jesper smirked, as he perched on the arm of the chair where Wylan had flopped down. Matthias opened his mouth to retort something, but --

“I was just distracted, sorry,” Inej intervened with an apology to Nina and a sheepish look. (She thankfully was no longer wearing her blue-blockers or it might have been too sweet even for a place called The Sweet Shop.)

“And I was just ignoring you,” Kaz said with a shrug. Inej gave him an exasperated whack in the arm as he sat next to her on an old loveseat, resting his cane against one side, and Nina let out a put-out huff.

“Wylan’s the only considerate one among you,” she complained.

“Yes, that is true,” Jesper agreed, and Wylan grinned widely with his chin propped up on his fist.

“We wanted you here because,” And Nina drew out the because like she had something grand to follow it, “Matthias landed a sweet sponsorship yesterday, and he wants to buy us all lunch!”

Kaz and Jesper groaned in unison, loud enough it couldn’t quite be drowned out by Inej and Wylan’s congratulations. Matthias got particularly insufferable after new sponsorships – there would be strings attached to this.

“That’s very nice of you, Matthias,” Inej said, pointedly, glaring at Kaz.

“It is very nice of you, Matthias, to offer to buy us all strawberry ice cream smoothies like yours,” Kaz said, with an evil glint in his eye as he nodded to the large pink cup in Matthias’ hand.

Matthias gave an uneasy laugh.

“There’s no ice cream in this,” he said, then paused when he noticed Nina’s tight-lipped, icy stare boring into Kaz’s skull. Then his brow cinched up and looked down at his cup. “There isn’t ice cream in this, right, babe?”

“It’s not going to kill you,” Nina replied with an eye roll.

“Babe! You know I can’t do dairy right now! Tomorrow’s Six-Pack Sunday!”

There was no point in trying to stop it: a laugh in the form of a long snort rolled out of Kaz while Jesper and Wylan dissolved into a fit of giggles. Now Kaz remembered -- this is why they kept Matthias around.

“You don’t understand,” Matthias was trying to say. “It can take a whole week to detox and lose the bloat.”

“I’ll finish it for you, you big baby,” said Nina, and snatched the smoothie away from a panicked Matthias.

“I should start running laps now,” he was fretting.

“Make some food runs for us – that’s a start,” Jesper supplied, looking helpful.

“Good call,” Matthias nodded, and hopped to his feet, nearly dumping Nina onto the floor in the process. “Orders? Orders?” He looked to each of them, ready to leap into action and start fighting off the bloat.

He’d gathered up their orders and made a beeline for the counter when Nina turned to Inej.

“You had me worried, you know.” Nina leaned out a little over her knees toward her roommate. “You were just distracted?”

Kaz glanced in Inej’s direction in time to see how she swallowed hard. She’d stuffed her hands deep in her hoodie pockets. Kaz knew the reaction all too well -- what it was like to withdraw and fight to make yourself untouchable, even to those who loved you.

“Just a lot of work lately,” Inej said. And Nina slid a suspicious glance toward Kaz, as if waiting for him to explain himself and what he was getting the two of them into now.

But it had always been Inej’s decision, how she wanted to handle her own revenge. Kaz was only providing tools. He hadn’t answered for her yet, and he wasn’t about to start now.

Nina sighed.

“I just don’t want to see anyone hurt anymore,” she said. The brass bell over the front door jingled again.

“That’s not--”

But Inej stopped short when she glanced toward the sound of the bell. She barely moved, but Kaz could sense her growing rigid next to him. And something about it made the hair on the back of his neck prickle.

He followed her gaze to two boys who were now slouching toward the front counter. Kaz had seen them both before; he was pretty sure he’d written a biology research paper for the one with the pug-nose. They were both tall and conventionally good-looking – the sort you probably didn’t think twice about. Well-muscled, expensive haircuts, brand name sneakers.

Beside him, Inej had started breathing weird.

“Fuck.” Nina had noticed her staring, too, and suddenly all pairs of eyes in the corner were watching the newcomers at the front of The Sweet Shop with murder in their hearts.

Because these two bastards had been there the night of The Incident.

Kaz found himself wondering which one he could make cry first. Probably the bulkier one -- he looked soft and dumb around the edges. His mom probably still did his laundry on the weekends and called his professors when he didn’t get good grades. Kaz wanted to see him cry until snot dribbled down his sweaty face and –

“We should go,” Inej said, abruptly. She was looking pale and shaky, and her eyes darted around as if she needed to gather belongings, even though she’d brought none. Kaz had started to grip the head of his cane, tighter, tighter, tighter.

“Fuck no.” Nina was adamant and fiery, bless her. “We got here first – they can leave.” And then a little louder. “They should be in jail, frankly!”

“Nina!” Inej hissed, and her hand flew to curl against the side of her face when the boys looked their direction. Her eyes were wide and terrified when she looked over to Kaz.

“I want to go,” she told him, and that was all she needed to say. He pushed his weight onto his cane, hoisting himself to his feet.

“Don’t worry, girl – we got you,” Jesper was confirming, and, without even needing to consult each other, he and Wylan and Nina had Inej surrounded from sight on their walk to the door, Kaz at the front.

And it almost worked, too.

“Brekker!” Until one of the boys recognized him and gave him with a jovial grin. Shit. “Hey, it’s Brekker!” The stupid kid with the pug nose gave Kaz a hearty slap on his shoulder, and it took every ounce of restraint in him to not break the dude’s wrist.

“This kid got me an B+ on my bio term paper,” the kid was telling his bulky friend, and then with a shady-ass side smirk, he added: “Wasn’t totally the A I’d paid for, but that was still awesome, bro.”

“With your GPA, an A would have been too suspicious.” Why was Kaz even defending himself to this turd? He made to shove past, to head for the door.

But that kid was still gripping his shoulder. Like he wanted Kaz to remove it from its socket. Like maybe he was just asking for it. Kaz ground his teeth, trying to maintain his resolve. He wasn’t going to do this in front of Inej. He was going to be better than this for her.

“Bro,” the human pile of excrement still touching him was saying, “I’ve been meaning to text you. I have this world religions class this semester that is just killer, and I--”

“Your next words had better be how you’re doing your own damn work from now on.”

A simple “No” would have sufficed, Kaz realized, but his girl was in some kind of state because of this waste of carbon and his patience had never been plentiful to begin with.

Besides, the kid didn’t strike him as the type who understood simple “No”s. He was going to have to make it really fucking clear for this idiot.

Sure enough, the kid blinked hard, like he’d been slapped.

“I paid you, bro,” he said, dumbly.

“Oh, he did not just--” Nina started from the back of their bunch.

“Call me ‘bro’ one more time,” Kaz dared him, his eyes narrowing.

“What the hell, man?” said the thoroughly confused bulky friend.

“Kaz, just leave it,” Inej said, softly, and she slipped her fingers into the crook of Kaz’s elbow. “Let’s just go.”

A wave of recognition spread over the pug-nosed douchebag’s face at the sight of her. It was sickening, the surprised rise of his eyebrows, the smug, amused smirk on his lips. Kaz wanted to rip them right off his face.

“Oh, I see how it is,” the dick was saying. “You’re with this bitch--”

That’s when Kaz felt something snap. Oh, he was dead now.

“Kaz!” Inej shouted a warning, but it was already too late. With the cane between his two gloved hands, Kaz rammed his weight into this dead man walking. He threw the kid against the front door, the brass bell jingling as the shades on the window rattled in the scuffle.

“That’s my girlfriend, dipshit,” Kaz snarled.

Kaz was vaguely aware that there was a rising commotion around him, a crescendo of clashing panic and rage. His hand had found its way to the dude’s collar, throttling him; Nina was shouting something at Matthias somewhere behind him; chairs were scuffling about against the floor. But Kaz’s sole focus now was on making this heinous little fucker wet his pants.

“Kaz. The door.” Jesper’s clear-headed voice cut through the blinding wrath, and Kaz was somehow thinking clearly enough to gather his meaning and wrenched the kid away from the front door just long enough for Jesper to shove an arm through and open it.

And Kaz threw the pug-nose brat out into the rain ahead of them. The kid hit the pavement, hard, and scrambled back.

“Dude, you’ve got it all wrong if you think she’s the victim here,” the useless piece of flesh was sniveling. His nose was bleeding – pathetic, Kaz had barely hit him.

“I really think I don’t,” Kaz disagreed, thoughtfully.

“We could have you arrested!” the bulky child was screeching. Kaz turned just in time to see Matthias literally chuck the kid out after them, red-face and snarling. And Kaz had to hand it to him – even with his dairy intolerance, Matthias Helvar could toss frat kids with the best of them.

“Oh, please file a police report about this,” Kaz sneered at them. The wind and the rain were beating back his dark hair and flapping the collar of his black jacket, but he didn’t care. “I would absolutely love to know how you plan on explaining why you called my girlfriend a bitch.”

“Man, it is not my fault your girl can’t handle her liquor.”

CRACK. Kaz barely had time to blink, and Matthias had straight up decked the kid right in his jaw. Nina was rolling up her sleeves, ready to destroy the other one in the pelting rain.

“Hey!” The teenager in a green apron who’d been running the cash register was running out after them, holding a phone over her head. “I’m gonna call the cops if you don’t clear out!”

And when Kaz looked back at Inej, there were tears welling in her eyes even though her jaw was set firm. From the looks on the faces of the rest of his friends, they’d all noticed, too.  

So, it fizzled out before it even really began.

The frat boys had slunk off in the rain, and the six of them regrouped and sauntered back to Kaz’s car in silence. Jesper, Nina, and Matthias piled into the back seat, while Inej and Wylan squeezed into the front. And then an uncomfortable stillness descended.

Inej had pulled her hood up again when Kaz turned the key in the ignition, her arms tight in her sleeves. Every once and awhile, she’d sniffle as quietly as she could as the car ride seemed to drag on – but Kaz knew. Everyone knew. That had been awful. And it still felt awful. Kaz’s head was starting to swirl, his wracked nerves still buzzing. He shouldn’t have done it. He hadn’t wanted to do it, not really. And she’d told him she wanted to leave – she’d said it clear as day. And he’d said…oh God, what had he said? What had he done?

Kaz’s stomach was starting to lurch. He’d said a lot of things. Way too many fucking things. Things they hadn’t discussed yet. Things he’d clearly just assumed. What had he done?

“We really should cleanse this negative energy.” Goddamn Matthias was the first one to break the pervasive silence, and he was choosing to break it with this nonsense. Kaz’s glare drifted to the rear view mirror. “I have some sound healing bowls back at my place that are--”

“I swear to God, Helvar,” Kaz snapped, “if you break out even one sound healing bowl, I will make you wear it like a helmet and then drop kick you into the sun.”

In the rear view mirror, Kaz could see Matthias’ nostrils flaring.

“You are such an unbalanced piece of shit sometimes, you know that--?” But Matthias stopped short because Inej had let out a surprising chuckle. Kaz slowly let himself glance her direction – so did everyone else.

She was smirking up at Kaz.

“I just think it’s thoughtful of you to make sure his head is protected before you launch him into space,” she shrugged. Wylan barked out a laugh.

“I just think they should kiss already,” Nina added, waggling an eyebrow at a brooding Matthias, and then Jesper started to laugh, too, which really was the most infectious of laughs. Even Kaz was smiling after a moment – just a little.

Though that faded entirely when they pulled up to Kaz and Jesper’s apartment and Inej asked to speak with him alone in the car first.  

Shit, he thought. Shit. Here it is. He’d royally fucked it up now.

They waited in silence with the rain pouring over the car while the rest of their friends darted into the old Victorian home where Kaz and Jesper lived on the third floor. With each passing second, his stomach sunk lower into his guts. He wasn’t even sure he could form words in his brain, let alone with his mouth. He had no rational explanation for what had come over him back at The Sweet Shop, other than Here it is, Inej, I’m kind of a fucking disaster.

“So, that was…” Inej started, slowly. She was staring out the front window. Kaz felt like crumpling, and he hated it, hated how weak he felt. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I know, I know…” he muttered. He didn’t really, but he just wanted this to be over. If she never wanted to see him again, he needed her to rip the bandaid off quick.

“So, I’m your girlfriend now?”

Kaz couldn’t decipher her tone, and he couldn’t even look at her. He was just going to stare at the steering wheel until this was over.

But then Inej said: “I just would like to have known before the guys my parents are having investigated, that’s all.”

Kaz looked to her then, lifting his dark eyebrows slightly. She’d let her hair down from its knot before they’d left for the café – she’d braided it loose over her shoulder like he liked. She was twirling the ends now, a tired smile on her pink lips.

“If you want,” he said with a soft shrug. It wasn’t at all like the heroic way he thought she deserved to be swept off her feet. But she was still smiling all the same. It made him feel braver.

Funny – how throwing his weight around against perverts was as easy as breathing, but looking at her like this tore him apart.

“If you’ll have me,” he offered, even softer now.

And Inej reached across the distance between them. Laced her fingers over his, atop his knee.

“I will have you, Kaz Brekker,” she said, tenderly. It took him aback a bit. Made his breath catch. Made his throat sting.

“If I shouldn’t have--” he started to say of the row back at The Sweet Shop. But Inej cut him off instantly, shaking her head. Squeezing his fingers.

“You absolutely should have,” she said, firmly.  “And you should show me how, too.”

Kaz really raised his eyebrows at that. Inej smiled a little wider. His heart was lifting, lifting up and out of the certain doom he was sure it was about to face.

“Come on.” Inej tugged at his hand. “We’d better head up before Matthias starts culture appropriating all over your apartment.”

“You have to admit – he threw one hell of a punch, though,” Kaz pointed out, as he opened his door, and then wanted to punch himself for it. What the hell – was he defending Matthias Helvar now? This whole day was upside down.

Thankfully, there was a different kind of embarrassing going down in apartment number three when they finally made their way up. Kaz could hear it before he even made it to the top of the stairs – the loud, thumping bass, the voices shouting at the tops of their lungs.

Oh, their neighbors were going to love this. They were just making all kinds of new friends today.

When Inej opened the door, all four of their friends were dancing to Cardi B’s I Like It, blasting through Jesper’s bluetooth speaker. It took everything in Kaz to not physically recoil at the assault on his senses.

“Emergency dance party!” Jesper explained, yelling from behind Wylan.

“We’re clearing out the negative energy!” Nina shouted over the noise, her hands in the air. Matthias was jumping around behind her like an absolute madman. “But like in an acceptable way!”

“I think it’s working!” Wylan shouted at her in agreement, with Jesper’s hands on his hips.

They were all smiling.

And beside him, Inej burst out laughing – a wild, fluttery sound he’d heard only a few times before. It caught him right in the heart each time he had, and he knew he’d do anything to hear it as often as he could. He looked down at her and wondered, not for the first time, how she did it. How she managed to wring joy out of even the most dismal of circumstances.

It was something he needed more of – as long as she’d allow him to have it.

“Come on!” she was shouting to him as she took him by the hand. “You heard the man! Emergency dance party!”

And Kaz followed her in, shutting the door behind him.

---------------------------

Tagging: @annejulianneh111, @loveyatopluto, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @whosanxiety, @raging-bisexual-alert,

[malrie]

Jason’s glasses fogged from his breath, and Piper watched as it dissolved away into nothingness. He caught her staring. The staple-scar stretched with his smile.

“Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?” This was his only protective layer, and he even shivered as he spoke.

Piper patted his cheek with the back of her hand, endeared. “Thanks for offering, but I’m more concerned that Leo hasn’t invented mini-windshield wipers for your specs yet,” she joked, forcing her teeth from chattering. She was a Malibu girl for a good while, after all.

Leo interjected this exchange by lighting his right hand on fire. It burned bright red, stark amongst the white snow they’d landed in by way of random monster-encounter. He had a toothy, wide grin of his own.

“I’ll do you one better,” he said, cutting between them and feeding the fire so that it was the size of a small dog. It behaved like one, too, untrainable and wriggling. “I’m a provider, I know.”

“Our hero,” Piper giggled, and so did Jason along with her. They stood there for a bit, hands and sometimes faces taking turns hovering above the fire. Leo’s nose pinked from the temperature shift.

They’d been there for hours, waiting for some divine rescue guaranteed to occur eventually. They were hungry and still aching from battle. Nothing was in sight, save the small copse of powdered oaks surrounding them on all sides.

Jason kissed her forehead, then Leo’s, almost without thought. It seemed to be more effective than the fire. His voice was low and dream-like, exhaustion taking him. “I could stay here forever,” he murmured. It was nonsense, of course, but Piper huddled closer, letting the heat reach her as though she stood barefoot at the mouth of a volcano, and imagined.

[belladonnaandulriched]

the dead of night | chapter eight

Frank's point of view

Syracuse looked very different that afternoon, as did Rochester. I never really went out that way that much, but there was always something about it that struck me sideways. Maybe it had to do with Joey hailing from near there, maybe it had to do with the ghoulish blue and green neon rising up from the tops of the buildings, maybe it had to do with the fact it was its own thing aside from New York City, but there was something precious about it to me. There was a part of me that said Francine hid out somewhere in there, somewhere inside of that donut surrounding the outskirts of the city.

I wondered if she knew that I wanted to find her after she went missing, and I wondered if she knew that I wanted to find her even after the trail fell cold. The murder trail on my brother fell cold, but I refused to let it go cold on her. She was my girl, my first girl, and she was Hannah's best friend aside from Joey.

But on the other hand, she might have been up in Canada. The only explanation for me was that she went missing in Canada, and therefore she stayed in Canada. There was no way she hid out there in upstate New York. And yet I knew it. I just knew it: she was there.

I peered over my shoulder to the car behind us. I thought about Hannah and her friendship with Francine: all I knew from Francine's account was she met Hannah when they attended school together and they just gelled like they were sisters. Both of them had no siblings so it made sense that they became like sisters: they also both had it rough a bit in life. Hannah was the California girl relocated to New York and grew up feeling like an outsider until she met Joey in her second year there in Oswego.

Francine had parents who wanted to separate but they stayed together for her. She sought solace in the arts from a young age and when she and Hannah attended high school in Rochester together, she took it to an almost cathartic. I recalled when first meeting her after Hannah introduced the five of us to her, that she foresaw everyone in Rochester knowing the combined force of nature that was Hannah Ellsberg and Francine Moody. And it almost came to a point shortly after Joey joined in the lead singer position.

We all saw Francine's agony in her artistry and yet she almost always checked out on a mental level most of the time. Hannah wanted her to be her manager for that reason: she could mentally check out and detach herself from the dark side of everything, and get a handle on everything. A great artist and protective of her best friend in her artistry herself, such that she was willing to promote it. She knew how to hook someone's attention, and it came to a point where she could by using nothing more than her own name. Maybe it was her last name: there was something memorable about the name of Moody, like Belladonna or even Bello, my last name.

I had just barely met Nancy but that was my assumption, too: who else would leave Seattle for the East Coast for anything, and strike up something with Geddy Lee among other things? All I could assume was these three women were sisters bonded by art and the scars of their own pasts.

I thought about Joey in that car with Hannah. Speaking of gelling... the fact the two of them had been able to bond and separate several times throughout the years always made me wonder abou them. Best friends since childhood and yet they managed to strike it up on a romantic level time and time again. It was something I had always wanted with Francine, and watching the Rochester skyline emerge through the darkening rain clouds made me wonder if it would even be possible.

She was out there somewhere and I had no idea if she had any time left.

Nancy led us to the first exit to the southern side of town, where I spotted a couple of people walking along the sidewalk as if it was a regular sunny day there in upstate New York, even though the rain was starting to come down in sheets upon our heads.

“Is that Alex and Neil?” Scott wondered aloud.

“No way,” Geddy said; his voice cut through me like a knife right there in the seat next to me. I took a second look at the two people there on the sidewalk, who appeared to be shuffling about the dampening concrete like a couple of puppets. A couple of puppets in short sleeved shirts and cut off shorts despite the cold rain. I swore I saw a bit of the neon glowing out from their heads, but then again, it could have been nothing more than my imagination doing that to me.

We reached the street corner and that was when the rain really began to fall upon us; Nancy flicked on the windshield wipers and they squeaked with each and every swish at the rain water.

“Okay—now if I remember where it's at...” Her voice trailed off as she hung a right around the corner. She ran into a puddle which had began to swell with the rain, but it wasn't large enough to warrant a huge splash.

“Do you even know Marcia and Sonia are in today?” Geddy asked her with a clearing of his throat.

“Positive,” she replied with a glimpse in the rear view mirror at him, “otherwise, I guarantee we wouldn't be going this way.” I noticed Scott peering out the windshield for himself, even though neither him nor I had any idea as to what to look for. “I'm pretty sure it's here—oh, wait, hang on, Hannah's flashing her lights at us again.”

“Sew Into You!” Geddy exclaimed right then.

“Oh, good eyes, babe!” Nancy followed up as she pulled up to the next intersection to flip a turn. She pulled up to the curb and yanked on the parking lever, and killed the engine right then. The rain pattered on the roof overhead; I watched Hannah and Joey park up ahead of us through the streams of rain water flowing down the outside of the glass.

Geddy and I climbed out of the backseat at the same time and onto the soaked pavement outside; he bowed his head and squinted his eyes against the rain. Nancy joined us outside with the hood of her jacket.

“I forgot my umbrella,” he confessed to her over the roar of the rain. Scott climbed out and led me to the car up ahead to join Hannah and Joey. There was a little bright lit shop behind us: tulles of fabric rested in the front window; beyond that stood a rack of tulles of thread.

“This is that upholstery shop we were talking about,” Nancy said from behind us.

“Let's go in and meet Marcia and Sonia,” Joey joined in right then. He lunged forward and held the door for us. We were greeted by the smell of clean brand new fabric and lemons; indeed, I spotted a pair of girls near the back of the front room both donned in heavy dark sweaters; they appeared to be talking about something about those fat quarters on the table in front of them. The one on the left had a hot pink headband across the crown of her head to separate her bangs from the rest of her straight jet black hair; while the one on the right had a messy head of hair to accentuate her round face. They both looked like twins regardless.

“Marcia, Marcia, Marcia,” Joey called out to one of them. The girl with the headband turned towards us, and her face lit up at the sight of us.

“Hey, you guys!” she declared as she set the two fat quarters on the table before her. “I was hoping you'd show up soon enough.” The girl on the left turned towards us and her eyes twinkled at the sight of Scott and me.

“Who are these two good looking bucks?” she asked Hannah and Joey.

“Scott and Frankie,” Joey replied with a running of his fingers through his jet black curls. “Two of the dudes from my gig.”

“Oh, the amazing Scott and Frankie,” the girl with the headband said with a toss of her hair back over her shoulder. She sauntered over to us, and towards Geddy.

“Hello, darling,” he greeted her with a little grin and a kiss on the side of the face, “good to see you again.”

“How's Alex and Neil?”

“Back home relaxing.”

“Please tell Neil I said hi,” Sonia said to him with a smile upon her face.

“Oh, you know I will,” he assured her as he gave her a kiss hello on the side of the face, “but I don't know if he will, though.” He turned his attention to the rest of the shop. “I never really saw the rest of this shop, if I'm honest.”

“By the way, Joey?” Marcia spoke up.

“Yeah?”

“How's that little outfit that I made for you?”

“Needs to be cleaned,” he said.

“She made you something?” Hannah asked him with a grin on her face.

“A little checkerboard thing.”

“We could make you two a quilt,” Marcia told Geddy and Nancy, “if you wish, anyways.”

“You guys are looking for Francine, right?” Sonia asked Scott and me.

“Yeah, we're—we're kinda helping,” Scott filled in.

“She was my girlfriend,” I added.

“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

She nibbled on her bottom lip: she had these deep olive colored eyes that comforted me in the same vein Francine's baby blues always did. She then raised a finger at me and motioned for me to follow her. She led me to the right side of the room while Marcia talked to the others there; Sonia led me to a rack full of different types of buttons. She showed me a little packet of silver buttons about the size of silver dollars. I took a second look to see a vein of neon green inside of the four holes in the middle.

“Don't tell anyone about this,” she whispered to me, “but these are for fixing humans.”

“Humans?” I echoed in a hushed voice.

“They're special buttons crafted over in Schenectady. They're crafted so all the robots can stay within intact—at least, that's according to Lars.” She handed the buttons for me.

“Why do you think I should need these?” I asked her.

“Keep them just in case,” she advised me. “The way things are right now, it's best to go about well equipped.” I sighed through my nose and put the buttons in my coat pocket.

“The world's going to fall apart soon,” she said, “believe me when I say that, too. I'm just saying that right now—you're going to have to find Francine before it's too late.”

I thought about the pandemic, three decades after that moment of time. Like Scott, I had no idea what year it was, but other than the date itself. And yet, she could have been referring to something else.

Something about Joey having done something huge in Seattle when neither of us were looking…

Marcia called out Sonia's name and she strode past me to meet up with her. She left alone there next to the buttons, so I could eye the blue ones next to my knee. Baby blues, like Francine's eyes.

“I'll tear up the earth until I find you,” I muttered under my breath.

******************************

that final line is a quote from miguel hernandez's poem “elegy”

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Someone Like You-Final Chapter

All previous chapters on AO3

Chapter 35

On the Saturday before Christmas Edith and I made Beef Wellington and served it to my two friends from school. They were coming to look at the carriage house to rent for the next school year. Jamie and I had already moved all my things to Lallybroch and I felt so weird walking through the place empty, so many memories here.

After they measured everything we all sat down to eat with doctor Lu and the girls were very complimentary. Lu kept them entertained with the medical application of hypnotherapy and Edit and I smiled watching him in his glory. The girls agreed to rent and I was happy to have arranged Edith’s next tenants so I didn’t leave her in the lurch.

The butter lovers had played until exhausted and the four of them were crashed out in Butters bed while he laid on the carpet and put his head on one of their beds. Edith got quite a laugh out of that and brought out her camera to take some pictures of our ridiculous dogs.

“I didn’t know they still developed film, Edith.”

“Of course they do and I will compare my pictures with any taken with a phone, any day.”

I hugged Edith goodbye after she loaded me up the leftovers to take home and a pecan pie she made for Jamie, his favorite. I fell into my car completely exhausted and made my way home. As I turned down our street it started to snow, big, fat flakes that stuck to the windshield and wipers. It was beautiful. I pulled over and got out to see the heavy snow falling as far as the eye could see. I marveled at the silence. I started doing this to ease my anxiety of driving in the falling snow after I got lost. Now I couldn’t stop.

I opened the kitchen door to banging and the sound of loud ripping. When I  put the food away I followed the noise and was shocked when I opened the study door. All the walls in three rooms had been pulled down and it was a big open space clear to the block wall of the house. I was thrilled at how much they accomplished today until I heard the voices of Rupert and Angus and realized they had help. That made me feel warm and fuzzy inside until Angus started telling Rupert about seeing my ass hanging off Edith’s roof. Rupert could have been super rude with his comment but he just smiled. I was already feeling embarrassed so I was grateful.

“Claire, glad ye home, we need to get started on these invitations. Grab yer favorite pen. Stormy is comin to help us.”

I was excited about seeing Stormy but the rest could hang in my opinion. Jenny had already called the guestlist for the wedding since it was a short week away, why did we need formal invitations? She insisted every invitation be handwritten as well. I would rather build a snowman with Butter and Jamie. In protest, I walked extra slow to the kitchen.

“Christ almighty, look at the snow come down. I’m callin Stormy to stay home. It’s not safe to be on the road tonight. Them boys might want to get out while they can.”

“Oh no, Jenny! You sit. I will tell them and be right back.”

When I joined Jenny again I had told each person it was snowing like crazy, gone to my room twice to look for my favorite pen, and checked on Butter. I looked at the list thrilled Jenny was almost done. I started to write an address and found myself staring out the window at the snow, pen twirling in my fingers.

“Claire yer worse than a ten-year-old. Concentrate lass and let’s get this done.”

By the time I finished my envelope, Jenny was done with the list and I launched out of my chair, throwing on my jacket, scarf, and gloves. I turned around to get Butter and he was right on my heals so I almost tripped over him. When the kitchen door closed I took a deep breath and tried to shake off my claustrophobia.

“Ok Butter, watch and learn.”

I started with a snowball and rolled it in the wet snow until it was about to my waist, then I did another but I could not lift it. Damn, I thought, the size I can lift will look like a toy snowman. I sat on the largest ball and thought about how I might do this.

“Please tell me yer not having second thoughts mo gradhag. You look like ye got the weight of the world on ye shoulders.”

“I do, it’s just too heavy. The snowman’s stomach, it’s too heavy for me, but not you! C’mon, I’ll help.”

I jumped off the snowball and crouched down to help hoist the midsection on top of where I had been sitting. Jamie pushed me away smiling and pulled the ball of snow on top of the other. I was already rolling another ball and picked it up easily to set it on top.

“Perfect!”

Jamie hugged me and pulled me into the house. We all thanked Angus and Rupert for the extra hands and they were anxious to exit our road before it became impassable. They both pointed and laughed at my snowman on the way to their vehicle. I stuck my nose in the air like I didn’t care and went upstairs to relax.

When Jamie came up later he jumped on the bed next to me and fanned out all the brochures he had collected of the islands and the fun things to do. I was so excited about the hut he rented over the water. A peer stretched 500 feet into the ocean with huts attached. Ours was on the end so it was just us and the ocean out there. It had a glass floor so we could watch the sea life underneath. We completely agreed on snorkeling daily and picked out the restaurants after reading the reviews. The rest we would figure out once we got there.

“It’s like New Orleans on steroids mo chridhe.”

It was indeed and I couldn’t wait to get there as Misses James Fraser. We just had Christmas and the wedding to get through. I should not be thinking of them as a chore but right now that is exactly how I saw it. *********************

It is the eve of my wedding and I cannot sleep. I’m having an anxiety attack and coming out of my skin from the walls closing in on me. I need Jamie like I need my lungs but Jenny insisted we separate for twenty-four hours before the wedding. She asked if I wanted to jinx my own wedding which I certainly did not. Jamie kissed me at the bottom of the stairs tonight and I almost cried the way he looked at me. Now I wander around our room feeling so weird, so displaced and I don’t understand it. I feel like I want to sob my heart out, on the night before my wedding?

I sat on the stairs with a blanket around me shivering in the cold house. It was like I was transported back in time to when I was ten years old dreading my trip back to Peru. I was going to marry the man who pulled me into his room that night and I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. So why am I blue? I crept down the stairs and laid next to Jamie on the sofa feeling his arms pull me to him immediately.

“I could hear ye pacin upstairs and hoped ye would come down here so I can tell ye how much I love ye. What’s wrong mo chridhe?”

“I don’t know. I feel anxious and sad and excited all at the same time.”

“Well, if yer like me yer missin yer parents. I know I am. My mam talked about fallin in love and having a family of my own. I would give anything for her and my da to be here.

“Yer missin yer parents tonight love?”

That did it. The sobs came and I clung to Jamie for five minutes of emotion that had been right under the surface for the past week.

“Dinna fash wee one, I’ve decided I love ye enough for me and them. I believe in heaven Sassenach and yer parents and mine will be here with us tomorrow. I believe we will feel their presence and their blessing. With all my heart I believe that mo chridhe.”

I started to get up and he held me to him asking me to stay for a few hours, then he would carry me to bed. I was so relieved I melted into him and started to relax. I felt him lift me off the couch hours later and he laid next to me in our bed until I was asleep again. Jamie was gone when I woke up and I didn’t see him until the wedding.

I fed the chickens and piled hay into their cubbies for warmth even though our heat lamp provided a toasty environment for them in the barn. I worried about Golfarb and went to look for her. She was nowhere to be found. With a pounding heart, I quickly counted the chickens and there were twenty! Golfarb was with her sisters, probably to stay warm, but I was thrilled. While the chickens ate I gathered the few eggs I found and carried them to the house. Egg production had nearly dropped off completely with the onset of winter and I was not unhappy about that.

Jenny was up stirring her maids punch when I walked into the kitchen. It is a wicked brew that includes a bottle of rum and a dozen other ingredients of which half are alcoholic. Jenny would be my only maid due to the limited space but six of our girlfriends were coming early to help decorate and drink.

“The bride is up and has her snow boots and parka on. Put them boots outside before ye track mud all over the house lass. Are ye ready to marry my brother Claire?”

“I have never been this ready for anything in my life Jenny.”

“The way yer blushin, yer gonna be a beautiful bride. But get those boots off and get in the tub, the big tub, I left ye a pre-weddin gift. Dinna tell Jamie about it cause I didna get him anything.”

I laughed and hugged Jenny before going upstairs to enjoy that amazing tub and lose myself in COCO Chanel! I jumped up and down and yelled out the door that I love Jenny more than Jamie right now. I poured it into the hot water and closed my eyes as the room filled with that magic scent. After twenty minutes of heavenly hot water, I grabbed my razor for what I hoped would be a fun surprise. I had steadily increased the width of my racing stripe for this very occasion and took my time sculpting a perfect heart. I was very happy with the way it looked and I hoped Jamie would like it or at least think it was clever. I wanted the heart right above my bud so much of my racing stripe was now gone. It felt a little bare but it looked really good. At least I thought so.

I realized that we would be swimming in the crystal clear waters of the Bahamas at this time tomorrow, and my heart rate shot up. Every single thing in my life was exciting at this moment and I felt ready to burst.

I was already packed for our trip because we were taking the red-eye tonight giving us two hours to enjoy the party before we have to leave for the airport. It seemed exceptionally odd to be packing sundresses in the middle of winter but it made me count the days to eighty-five degrees and sunshine and it was finally here.

There were all kinds of commotion downstairs and I looked out the bathroom door and saw two men bringing huge flower arrangements into the room. They were beautiful with white roses and orchids, baby’s breath and evergreen branches. I wondered where they came from because Jenny and I had not planned for those arrangements.

By the time my hair was dry Jenny was laying on our bed resting her back. She closed her eyes and announced she felt nothing otherworldly happening to her, she didn’t have a mad urge to rape Ian.

“I suspected ye were in an energy vortex like I saw on U Tube, but I feel nothin unusual so that can’t be it. I want to believe there’s hope that I will scream with a minute-long orgasm so I refuse to believe it’s ye and Jamie. Oh well, let’s start yer hair. Stormy called and she is on her way.”

“Jenny, I can start my own hair. You stay right there. Stormy can help me if I need it. Can I get you to do the Jessica Rabbit hairdo at the end? Hey, what do you think of my heart?”

“Holy shit Claire! Give me some warnin before ye expose yerself that way. I am so jealous I want to drop to the floor kicking and screaming but this baby is in the way… of everything.”

Stormy is such a great friend and she was so gentle with my hair while we gabbed about everything. I was so relaxed with her soft hands in my hair I lost track of time. Jenny woke up, looked at the clock, and turned into a house on fire. Her large brush drove into my hair pulling it into a flat iron with an intensity that snapped me out of my Stormy haze. The wedding started in one hour and Jenny still had to dress so I sat perfectly still and helped however I could. The whole time I heard banging and dragging going on downstairs and wondered what on earth was happening down there. Two of our friends did my make up with Jenny watching closely, smiling for the most part.

Jenny was touching her fingers like she was counting and mumbling. Then she announced I did not have something borrowed to get married in. I thought it a weird tradition until Jenny returned with the most sacred possession of her mother’s and we all gasped looking at them.

“I insist you where my mam’s earings Claire. You were a daughter to her, same as me. She is here today with da, I know she will feel honored that ye wear them to marry my brother.” Loops of sterling silver, so thin they moved like water and caught the light as they shimmered. They were absolutely perfect for my dress and the winter theme of the wedding. I felt my eyes well with tears and the whole room was running at me with a kleenex. I held up my hands and laughed at the startled looks.

With my hair swept up and ringlets falling at my temples and down my back, beautiful silk stockings and the tiniest beaded thong, I stepped into my shoes as Jenny chased the girls downstairs and suggested they drink her special Maids punch. The silence in the room was so wonderful for my frayed nerves. Jenny held my dress up as I had done for her and I slipped into it, suddenly transformed into a bride.

“Christ and all the saints yer a beautiful bride.” Jenny grabbed a kleenex and wiped her tears.

“I have something for you Jenny, to say thank you for being my best friend my whole life.”

I handed her a box and watched her open the special gift I spent days looking for. I decided on a delicate eighteen carrot gold bracelet with four diamonds that were a half-carrot each and superior quality. I could tell instantly that she loved it because her eyes were popping out.

“Lass, it’’s amazin how real cubic zirconian looks these days, is it nae?” She said it just above a whisper and her face was the color of a pink rose.

“Thank you for saving my life year after year with letters and hugs hello and promises goodbye. I love you so much and those are not cubic zirconian. Thank you for everything Jenny.”

She turned around and left to get dressed with a dreamy smile on her face, then she ran back in and kissed me, then gone again.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Edith peaked in. She took my hands and looked me up and down. “Well, my little mustang is a beautiful bride. I love you. Congratulations sweetheart.”

I wanted to see and feel Jamie so badly it was hard to sit still. When Jenny came back I jumped to my feet. She wore the bracelet and it shot sparkles out in every direction.”Ready lass?”

We went down the back stairs and I nearly fell over when I saw Murtagh in a tuxedo with his hair slicked back and a shiny face.

“Murtagh, you look amazing.”

“Well lassie, I dinna ken the right English words for how ye look. It might take some time.”

I giggled at that and took his arm. Robbie Mcnab, the son of a neighbor was waiting to give the signal and ran around the corner when Murtagh told him to. What seemed like seconds later the massive front door opened and Ian offered his arm to Jenny, walking her into the house. I heard the wedding music and Murtagh walked me in slowly. I lifted my eyes to Jamie’s cool, sparkling, indigo gaze and felt my heart in my throat. Murtagh kissed my cheek and handed me to my true love.

Our favorite reverend officiated the wedding and started the ceremony with the story of when we met. He spoke eloquently of seeing the love in Jamie’s eyes as he watched me that day and the way I blushed like a spring rose when he held my hand. It was so beautiful and wonderful of him to speak of it. The ceremony was beautiful too I imagine. I was too lost in Jamie’s eyes to listen but I felt soft warm fingers on my elbow and knew it was time to bless the rings. I turned slightly to smile my thanks at Jenny and realized she was too far from me to reach my elbow, In fact, no one was close enough to touch that arm. Then I heard, “you may kiss your bride.”

Jamie’s kiss was a promise of undying love that touched my soul. The reverend said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce Mister and misses Fraser." I could feel myself smiling and saw so many faces approach, hug, and speak to us. I was in a pink bubble of happiness and looked at the most beautiful decorations throughout the lower level. It was hard to take it all in and I wondered who set all this up. I looked around at all the friends I have in my life now, the people that I loved, and knew any one of them would have done it for us.

Jenny pressed a glass of juice in my hand and smiled at me with so much excitement.

“Are ye alright lass? If yer feeling faint just look at that ring on yer finger and it’s sure to wake ye up.”

“Ring?”

I lifted my hand to see the sparkling diamonds that spanned the top half of the band. I looked at Jamie wide-eyed and he kissed me before leading me around to thank our guests for coming.

Doctor Abernathy and his wife Gail were there as was Lucy who was loving the punch she found in the kitchen. While we talked I watched people bringing trays of food from the kitchen placing them on any flat surface they could find. I was flabbergasted at the quantity and quality of the food. When I found Jenny again I asked her where all this amazing food came from.

“Mister Dunsany provided the flowers and catering, the likes of which we may never see again so eat as much as ye can, everything is delicious. Oh, Claire, he sent an envelope with yer name on it. It’s next to one of the arrangements." I found the envelope and felt dizzy when I pulled out a one thousand dollar gift certificate to the baby store in Edinburgh. How extraordinary, I thought.

Before time ran out I spoke with all of our girlfriends and gave them the date of Jenny’s surprise baby shower. All heads nodded and smiled and I promised to call them when we got back.

I laughed at the level of happiness in the room and it made me so happy.

“Sassenach, we have a minor problem. The snow is comin down heavy. It won’t impact Jenny’s Hogmanay guests, they’re used to the flatbed shuttle the neighbor provides. He makes a boatload of money from tips so he’s dancin a jig right now. We need to find a way out of here tonight or miss the plane. Can ye get changed and ready to leave? I’ll see if Angus will help.

Alarm bells were going off in my head and I quickly slipped my dress back on the hanger and changed into my jeans and a soft long-sleeve T-shirt. In ten minutes we were wading through so many people just trying to get outside. Angus was in his truck gunning the engine. I hugged Butter and reminded Jenny to feed the chickens and collect the eggs or they would eat them and we would be out of the egg business. ”And don’t forget Butter’s food is in the freezer, and have Ian check the warming light every night in the barn and …” I felt Jamie lift me up and wave us out the door.

We jumped in Angus’s huge truck, out of breath of running. It was toasty warm inside.

“My God it’s comin down, pray they don’t close the airport tonight,” he said with an evil chuckle.

They did close the airport however we were already in the air high above the swollen clouds that threatened our honeymoon. We stole kisses from each other whenever we could and curled up to sleep our way to the Bahamas.

24 hours Later

I laid on Jamie’s chest in the huge hammock that attached to our hut and hung over the water. It was so relaxing to swing and watch the crystal blue water. We had snorkeled all day and now, pleasantly exhausted, we tried to rouse each other to shower and dress for dinner. Laying in each other’s arms, watching the sunset over the water was too much of a pull so neither of us could move until it was dark.

Jamie kissed me deeply and whimpered in my ear he was hungry.

“I am not sure how we were able to do this Sassenach but we have not consummated our marriage and I am too weak with hunger to try.”

“Well, you are my favorite thing to do but the water was so amazing. Let’s go eat and remedy the situation. Oh,” I said giggling, “I have a silly surprise for you.”

“Give me my surprise Sassenach, it will give me the energy to get to the restaurant.”

“It’s not like a decoder ring or anything like that. Now I feel weird mentioning it.”

With great effort, we made it into the hut and Jamie gave into temptation and laid on the floor to watch the sea life through the glass floor. There were so many fish that were attracted to the underwater light. “It is a mystery this surprise.” He grabbed my ankle and pulled me down to the floor with him.

“I have a surprise too mo chridhe.”

Jamie stretched his arm and pulled the refrigerator door open laughing.

“Holy shit! Where did all that come from?”

"I stuffed a thermal bag with all that, zipped it up, stuffed it in another suitcase and checked it. It was still cold when I took it out. I forgot all about it." He started pulling gorgeous treats out that looked more like a piece of art than food.

“Oh my God, this is so good Jamie. This one is even better. What does that one taste like?”

At some point in our gorge-fest, Jamie picked me up and carried me to the bed nibbling on my stomach, making me giggle. I was still eating but it was getting harder because his nibbles were now warm and wet. He pulled my bikini top off and sucked on my breasts before he linked his thumbs into the bottom half and pulled them off.

“Christ Sassenach, oh my God, what a perfect wife ye are! I love it and ye so bare now.”

“Oh yea, that’s my surprise.” Jamie was rubbing his cheek over all the new skin exposed.

“It’s so much better than a decoder ring mo gradhag, he laughed. I love ye, and I’m fallin in love with yer pussy all over again.”

He opened my legs and laid on my thigh looking at me and touching places that were stealing my sanity. When I felt his warm wet tongue I was but a minute away from my explosion. I pulled Jamie up and pressed on his buttocks to push him toward me. I wanted to feel him inside me for as long as possible and like the best husband that ever lived, he made it last.

We had an amazing shower outside of our hut with the full moon shining down on us. Jamie kissed me over and over as I spread soap lather all over him. I felt like someone had given me knock out drops however and walked quickly to the bed before I passed out on my feet. I heard Jamie’s voice echo in my dream asking to see my heart again. I don’t know if I answered him or not.

My eyes opened late in the night and I heard Jamie breathing next to me. I turned my head and could see his face in the moonlight. I smiled at his serene expression and tried to fall asleep again but couldn’t. Rather than wake him I slipped my short robe on and walked outside to lay on the tiny patio in front of the hut. It was so peaceful and I ached for Jamie until I felt his hand on my hip as he laid behind me whispering lovely things in my ear.

“You’re naked Jamie.” I looked down the length of him and wanted to touch him everywhere.

“I came out to lure ye back to bed but that’s not gonna happen with ye lookin at me that way.”

I pushed him onto his back and crawled to his feet placing kisses from his ankle to his knee. He was watching me and I smiled. From his knee, I kissed deep on his inner thigh letting my kisses get wetter as I got closer to his lovely balls. I pressed my face into them sucking and licking, hearing Jamie start to pant. I played with his heat until he held my hair and pushed my mouth onto him. I teased his arousal to the brink of orgasm and then backed off. When I did it the second time he pulled me off of him and spun my back to his chest locking me into position with his thighs and arms.

“Yer a wee tease Sassenach and I’m gonna punish ye for it. “

Being completely at his mercy I could do little when he pushed into me with force. I felt him so deep as he pulled my leg behind his knees opening my core to his touches and making me pant for release.

“Come for me lass,” he panted in my ear as he rammed me. “That’s a good lass, oh God Sassenach.”

I was thrown so high I barely noticed Jamie’s climax, becoming aware of his grip on me as I came back to earth. We made it back to bed and slept like the dead until morning.

For the next week, we played all day, ate sumptuous food in the evening and made love through the night. Jamie was cerebral about my new heart for the entire week. He would get very quiet and then pull me to our hut, remove the bikini, and stare at my heart. 

We walked down the beach to listen to music one night and Jamie danced slow with me. Halfway through the dance, I knew he would be pulling me out of the bar. We couldn’t get home fast enough so he pushed me into the sand in a secluded place and pulled my clothes off. I could see his neck pulsing with his hammering chest. Once he could see the heart he just touched it, almost reverently at first. It started with a kiss, additional kisses, my hands in his hair, pulling his head to my bud, panting his name, his wet tongue, my deep moans and begging for him, and then he stopped, leaving me breathless. He dressed me again and pulled me along as we ran down the beach to our hut. I laughed so hard I almost tripped but when we crossed our threshold the humor ended and Jamie rocked my world.

I had trouble sleeping again that night and finally went outside to lay in the enormous hammock. The sounds of the water under me was calming and I dozed on and off. Jamie woke me with a dozen kisses on my face and cuddled us back to sleep. Just before dawn, I felt him suck my nipple and I gasped. I saw fire in his eyes and tried to get out of the hammock but he held me there and pressed into my slick center. His kiss took my breath away and our stomachs slapped together while he pushed into me without mercy. I felt him pushing me right off the hammock but could do nothing except tell him harder and faster. When we both climaxed together I was staring down at the ocean beneath us and Jamie was holding onto to my hips gasping for breath. I told him to let go and my naked body slipped into the water just four feet under us. 

Jamie and I swam naked as the sun peaked over the horizon. It was magical. We climbed out and showered off before being caught by the fishing boats that passed each morning. 

When I woke up there was coffee and scones to fuel my excitement for another incredible day.

We packed as much as possible into every minute and I knew I would never forget our incredible honeymoon.

I felt Jamie’s kisses all over my face before he nuzzled into my hair.

“Sassenach. We’re home, time to wake up.”

I could see he just woke up himself and I was relieved he was able to rest.

Scotland looked like a winter wonderland. It had snowed again for the last three days and I was very happy to see Angus waiting for us curbside. My God it was cold. As we piled in he handed us our coats and we were homeward bound.

What awaited us at home? Let’s see, pounding, sawing, drilling, hammering and an inch of drywall dust on everything. Snarky Jenny going into her last month of pregnancy. I start the hardest semester of my nursing program tomorrow and probably cannot get down our road with all this snow. I will probably deliver our baby after second semester, during finals week, necessitating special arrangements, proctors when I can take the exams, and a letter from the Dean to allow it all.

I looked at Jamie when he whistled at the depth of snow on our slightly plowed road. In my mind, I just saw roses… everywhere. They were up and down the road, all over the white fields, blooming every color imaginable. They were even in the rooms under construction. Everyone else might see a construction disaster zone but I just saw roses. Life's challenges will have to get much harder before I dread a single moment of this beautiful existence with Jamie, and that makes me happy.

The End (for now)

[pennedbyaustin]

Bereavement.

A short story written for my creative writing class

Gaia zipped her black jacket up all the way up until it reached her neck, it made her feel like there was a dark chainmail around her. Arms wrap around her stomach, it took several deep breaths before she realized they were her own. The crisp autumn air cut against her cheeks. 

The only warmth in the woods came from the wooden casket ablaze in front of her. Gingerly, she stepped forward to place another log in the fire. She stayed nearly unmoving, close to the flames. Letting the fire warm up her frozen limbs. The lighter still in her hand, the only sound in the woods was of her flicking it on and off. 

“There was nothing that could be done.”

It was true, there was nothing to stop a shot through the heart. Not even magic could save that. 

Gaia turned towards her hollow eyed mother, who’s expression she could only imagine mirrored her own. Her mother’s hands rested in front of her body, clasped so tightly together that her bones threatened to snap. 

“I know.”

The roaring fire burned even brighter. A beacon of what had been. Drawing her closer.

Enya held on to her elbow, making her stop in her tracks. Her sister glanced up at her, then at their mother who stood a few feet ahead of them. Too close to the fire. She wanted to go to her, to say something else. 

“Gaia.”

When was the last time she heard her mother say her name? It had to have been days, even weeks. Not since the hospital where he had passed. 

“I know.”

She had to let go, and her mother didn’t need to tell her that. The casket burning was supposed to release all feelings of grief. The spirit would move on to the next world, and that would be that. Except, life didn’t always work out like the Book said. She didn’t feel release or a weight lifting off of her back. She didn’t feel better. She didn’t feel a great sense of relief wash over her like the Book had described. A hand that fell on her shoulder weighed down so hard she nearly crumbled to a million fragments.

There was an unsung silence. Stillness as they left behind with one less person than they came with. 

An air of uncertainty hung across the trio as they entered the car, a taut rope bound them together across the center console. Nothing was spoken on the drive home. Gaia viciously circled through the stations. Her thumb mashing so hard against the buttons that her knuckles turned a light brown from the strain.

Finally, she snapped the radio back off. Returning to the sound of the turn signal and rain rushing down the windshield. The wipers matching the pounding of her heart. Turning her head towards the window, she continued to quietly play with the lighter. 

When pulling up to their driveway, a great wave of nausea overtook her. Entering the home only worsened the feeling, her hands flying to her stomach as though to try and keep the bile at bay. 

The family pictures, the jackets, the piles of books. Worst of all, the remnants of a freshly smoked cigar still radiated out from their living. It stuck to her clothing, something she used to try and vigorously hide. Even now it was overpowering, yet she wished she could wrap the scent up into a blanket.

Her palm collided with the air in front of the bathroom door, not caring how loud or how hard the door slammed against the wall. Letting out a banshee’s cry before she emptied the contents of her stomach. Her body falling towards the tile, collapsing in a pile.

Their shop was empty, as almost every other day. The only sounds throughout the store were gentle music from a radio from her mother’s youth and the rain pouring against the shop windows. 

She grew restless behind the counter, deciding to stand and meander around. Gaia couldn’t sit still for more than five minutes, something her father had pointed out over and over again. So, she decided to try and organize the eclectic shop. It wasn’t like there was much else to do.

Down one of the aisles there was a “hall of mirrors”, as her mother called. From floor to ceiling, the shelves were lined with mirrors. She had no idea why anyone would give away mirrors to a thrift shop. The only reasons she could think of were plots for a horror movie. 

Just as she had been torn away from the mirror a book flew off the shelf, startling Gaia out of her trance. She’d been transfixed on her own reflection, staring down at herself with an almost displeased expression. She looked like her father. Her gaze shifted towards the fallen book, eyes rolling nearly to the back of her head. Enya had probably placed it on the end of the shelf. Wouldn’t be the first time.

At least it was something to do during the rather lifeless day. Walking through the shop meant stepping over random bits and objects scattered along the ground. Some piles were more organized, others were much like the rest of their home. Cluttered junk. 

When her hand reached out to grab the fallen book, all she caught was air. She swiped a few more times before she glanced down and found the ground empty. The book had returned to the shelf. 

I’m really losing it. 

Her eyes kept shifting up and down from the book to the floor over and over until she was left even more confused than finding the book not there in the first place. She gingerly poked at the book to see if she had truly gone mad. It was real. Gaia wasn’t entirely sure if that made her feel more or less insane. 

Chills made their way down her spine. A silent whisper in her ear egged her on to turn around, to come towards the window. Every bone in her body told her no. To stay put. 

Yet, she turned. Shifting through the shelves upon shelves of junk, even stepping over it absentmindedly towards the front of the store. Pushing against every bone in her body that willed her to stand still. It was as though an invisible brick wall was placed before her. 

If she had anything in her hand, it would have come crashing down to the floor. However, she found her arms going slack at her sides and her jaw clenching so tight it threatened to break. 

Her body pressed against the glass, her palms smashed against the barrier as she saw a glimmer of hope. Or of fear. 

A figure, not completely opaque stood across the street. Flickering in and out of view like a channel that didn’t quite get a signal. His eyes sunken in like her mother’s, they were in an expression she recognized. Sadness. 

Their gazes met and she felt her heart being torn out of her chest. 

It was him

“Dad?”

Even if it was him, she wasn't sure why she said it aloud. He wouldn’t be able to hear her. As fast as he appeared, he was gone. Someone had cut off the channel.

His face flashed before her, deep mahogany skin matched her own. His amber eyes fading into the ones who desperately yearned for it to be real. To be true. It had to be. 

Right?

“Hey, Gaia, have you checked . . . what are you doing?”

Her mother and herself chose not to speak since the car ride home. It had been months, only exchanging simple sentences or messages. Her attention had been focused on the youngest of the bunch, Enya. Only thirteen when their father was taken from them. Both Gaia and her mother had a sense of responsibility to uphold the norm for her sake. 

However, the concern in her mother’s voice broke her out of her haze. Her head craining back to see her mother in the exact state she assumed she would be in. Hands tightly placed on either hips, eyes narrowed and head tilted to the side.

“You won’t believe me.” Her mother seemed to consider it, even if she didn’t know what she was signing up to hear. They were witches, after all, it would take a lot for her mother not to believe her. 

“I highly doubt that.”

Then she saw it, a flicker of a smile fall over the corner of her mother’s lips. She wasn’t sure if she had the heart to bare her mother any more grief than she had already felt. 

Gaia peeled herself off of the window, approaching her mother as she would approach a scared child. Timid and slow. Her arms wrapped around herself, much like in the woods many moons ago. Fingers tugging at the fabric of her sweater. 

“I saw him.”

Her eyes closed in a wince, expecting a blow of some sorts. An explosion of emotion. After several long moments she gathered up the courage to open back up her eyes and see the damage she had done. 

To her surprise, she found her mother just the same as before. However, this time she had no hint of a smile. Her face drawing a blank, much as it had in the woods. 

Old coping mechanisms die hard. 

“Across the street.”

As if it would make a difference, she stretched out her arm and pointed at the

place she saw him. Her mother didn’t spare a glance in that direction. Her mother transfixed on her own gaze. Nearly causing her entire body to go still at the sight. She seemed frozen in time, just as she had been at the window. 

“Don’t look at it again. Why did you ignore your feelings?”

How could she not? The image of her father seemed to fade further and further away every day. Even if his photo kept watch over their living room, it wasn’t the same as seeing his boxy stature and suit freshly pressed. She even swore that she could smell a stale cigar in the shop, even after his image disappeared. 

“Why not? And I. . . thought it was just me being weird.”

She didn’t mean for the question to slip out so easily. 

“It isn’t your father. It wants you to look at it. Don’t ignore your intuition, it’s what was handed down from your many great grandmothers down to you.”

Her mother’s change of tone offered up no room for questions. Her body temperature instantly dropped ten degrees. Her hands frozen in place around her waist. Eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

“It?”

[fallenesspoetry]

The [Uninvited] Guest

AO3 FFN

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Raymond Reddington(/)Donald Ressler

Warnings: Light swearing, season 4 and season 5 spoilers. Set before season 6.

Summary: Raymond Reddington, the Concierge of Crime, shows up at Ressler’s doorstep on Christmas Eve.

Child’s-palm sized flakes of snow were collapsing on the windshield of a black Chevrolet Tahoe. Its wipers swished back and forth, sweeping the icy drops with a hissing “Swoosh!” over and over.

Skyscrapers, grey and dirty by day, molded in nightfall, flickering in reds, yellows and greens. Brakes screeched and honks blared below, the street grey-and-white from mud and snow. Coffee shops signs invitingly winked with crisp lettering at every corner, ready to welcome a passer-by for a cup of hot latte.

Just when Tahoe left tail light flicked orange, a red right blinked. The SUV braked at the crossing, giving way to pedestrians. Those had definitely underestimated today’s weather—a trench coat wasn’t of great use; one’d better wear a woolen hat and wrapped themselves in a scarf. 

Washingtonians hadn’t expected this year’s winter to have learned some tricks from her Russian sister. Snow plows could hardly keep the road clean and spread salt on the sidewalks. The freak weather made all the sane folks chill at home, watch TV and, maybe, have a beer or two.

All, but Donald Ressler, the Special Agent with the FBI. Another day, another psycho on the streets. Thugs didn’t give a damn about Christmas, so the task force closed a case. It had definitely boosted their boss’s mood, so everyone got a Christmas day off.

Donald took the FBI’s civillian SUV to drive home because his own car would stuck in the Gulliver-like snow mounds. Anxiously drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, Ressler glanced either on his watch or the traffic light.

Christmas Eve was around the corner, almost hitting him in the forehead.

The twenty-fourth of December. Seven o'clock.

If he could, he would rather spend Christmas with his mom and brother. But the skies snorted at him, producing a flow of non-stop wet and sleazy cotton candy. He’d be lucky not to get into a blizzard on his way home.

The phone buzzed in his jacket’s pocket. Ressler slipped a curse. Red light had already turned green, so he hurried to push the gas pedal at the impatient “Beep!” from behind.

Someone must have really needed him, judging by the unsteady vibration tickling his chest every ten seconds.

Whoever this was, they could wait. He’d be of no use to anyone if he crashed right now.

Ressler cast a quick glance at the rear-view mirror. His heavily gelled hair was now messy and tousled like he’d just woke up. A few stray strawberry blond bangs fell onto his forehead. Pandas envied his eyes’ dark bags—sleep deprivation was his best friend these days. Steering his way through, he unconsciously licked his full, chapped lips, dehydrated from the AC’s hot air.

Someone hysterically honked behind again. To his left a reddish Mazda rushed to blinking green at the intersection.

Jerk.

In no time Donald braked at red light. The dick of a Schumacher had already halted there.

“Suck it,” Ressler muttered, loosening his tie. His eyes on the traffic light, he resisted to show that dick the middle finger.

Donald rubbed his sore eyes, their green-tobacco hue gleaming in the tail lights of a car in front.

One could squeeze him like a lemon and he wouldn’t feel a thing.

Shower. Dinner. Bed. 

A workaholic Holy Trinity.

The light changed to green.

About time.

Already dreaming of his comfy quilt and pillow, Ressler accelerated. Chevy’s engine gratefully purred when he smoothly shifted the gear, speeding up.

The vibration in his left inside pocket was almost aggressive. And the snowfall inherited dogged vibes from his cell too: he could barely see anything on the road, snowflakes splashing over the windshield with a nasty slurping sound.

Passing a Chinese take-out to his right, Ressler finally took the cell out of his pocket.

Nick’s Pizza.

Pizza delivery, my ass. He knew who hid behind that caller ID.

“Yes?” Ressler angrily blurted, pressing the cell to his ear.

“Good evening, Agent Ressler.”

He would have recognized this voice out of hundreds, no, thousands of people. Silky smooth, always with a hint of a genuine laugh at everything. But most of the time it was he, Donald, the guinea pig of the mockery.

The infamous Raymond “Red” Reddington. 

Each time Red gave the task force a case, Donald, his teeth gritted, would cut a deal with his own conscience. The Bureau threw a scumbag behind the bars; Reddington—got rid of an annoying competitor.

“Shouldn’t there be a Christmas tree for Christmas?” Reddington politely inquired.

Tahoe jerked, almost sliding in a dangerous proximity to a street pillar, but Ressler steered her right back in a moment.

“What…” he bit his tongue not to slip a curse, “tree?”

“Green, Donald. My God, these walls… No wonder you’re so uptight.”

Who the fuck he thinks he is?!

Ressler didn’t breath a sound. He dug his fingers into the steering wheel so hard it hurt.

“I apologize for the intrusion, but I’m afraid it’s rather urgent. Besides, no one of sane mind would look for me at your place.”

If he could, he’d bribe any amount of mercenaries if it spared him of this arrogant, self-absorbed, ridiculously wealthy prick.

Fortunately or not Reddington was the adjunctive informant to the FBI. It meant he was his responsibility, regardless how badly Ressler wanted to barbeque his guts. Ressler would always do his job even if the only mention of Concierge of Crime made his stomach turn with disgust.

“I’ll be there in two hours,” Donald growled, hanging up, and pushed the gas pedal to the floor.

If the blizzard went on like that, he’d be home way past Christmas.

*

Ressler parked the car, trying to wrap his mind about the fact Raymond Reddington broke into his apartment.

It’s Christmas, for God’s sake!

Muttering curses, Donald picked up his laptop bag and three pizza boxes from the backseat.

He sauntered to the front door and turned the doorhandle. The hall met him with the usual epileptic blinking—one of the bulbs hadn’t met its end yet.

Cleaning the mailbox of ads and bills, Ressler threw the latter into the bag with pizzas.

The elevator softly beeped behind his back.

Donald got in and pressed “10”. The elevator creaked up to the tenth floor much longer than usual, its snail-like speed driving him crazy.

It suddenly stopped, the door opening at the seventh floor. A man stepped in, wearing a grey coat and a red hat. His snow-white beard and thin rimmed glasses reminded Ressler of Santa Claus. The man’s hands were busy with two green and bushy Christmas trees.

Really?!!

Life had a twisted sense of humor.

Somewhere a cell rang.

Not mine.

“Yes, honey,” the stranger said, trying to make one of the trees stand straight on the floor. A trace of unwavering obedience was heard in his voice. He glanced at the changing floor number. “Just as you asked—” His forehead sank into a confused frown. “But, dear…”

A spiteful hissing of the man’s wife on the other end reached Donald’s ears. Nerves of steel? Endless love? He hadn’t even raised his voice to argue.

“I’ll figure something out… Yeah, okay.” He let a weary sigh. Noticing Ressler, he asked, “Want a Christmas tree?” There was so much hope in his voice that Donald felt sorry for him.

But he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. And yet nothing in his apartment said “Merry Christmas!” except three pizzas—cheese, pineapple and anchovies—and a six pack of beer he had bought before.

There was a box with Christmas lights somewhere in the kitchen. And another box with Christmas toys in the closet.

“Yeah, why not.”

Donald reached for his wallet.

“Nah, it’s Christmas,” the man said. The elevator halted on the tenth floor. “Woah, we’re neighbors. Merry Christmas!”

“You too.”

Ressler had almost took the keys out of his pocket when he reached the door to his apartment. A second later he realized that Reddington had already to be inside. 

He simply turned the handle and entered. It took some time and effort to secure the Christmas tree straight up, but he managed. It stood perfectly still so far, leaning against the wall. He also put his laptop bag and pizza down.

The hallway smelled of home baking.

Neighbors? If it was Reddington, he’d rather eat his badge. 

The Concierge of Crime in the apron? Ridiculous.

“Ah, Donald, here you are. I was getting worried you’d stuck in there,“ Reddington’s sneaky voice caught him off hard. 

The badge slipped from Ressler’s hand, but he managed to catch it. He felt Reddington’s eyes on him, so he muttered something about the weather.

Reddington knowingly nodded, his eyes shifting to the Christmas tree, almost five feet tall.

“Ah, the spirit of Christmas isn’t dead, is it? Well, what are you waiting for? Come on in.”

“It’s my apartment,” Ressler growled, taking off his shoes.

Whenever Reddington was around, Donald felt a worthless, miserable loser. It wasn’t true; he had been on top of his class in college and at the Academy. He had spent countless hours undercover and conducted a series of successful operations.

The one and only time the luck had turned its back on him was the Concierge of Crime’s assassination in Brussels.

It cost him dearly—he had to work his way back for almost a year to restore his reputation.

Few years later Raymond Reddington surrendered to the FBI, demanding to speak exclusively with the man who had spent the prime years of his career chasing him all over the world. 

Soon enough Donald spent more time napping on the jets to Cuba, Mexico and Prague than at his bed. His fiancé, tired of the competition, left him. He couldn’t blame her, though.

Now Reddington looked much better in person than his sketch in the database. Well-groomed, not a wrinkle on the round face, though he was over fifty. He was slightly overweight whim made him quite appealing. Some agents called him “Reddybear” behind his back.

Ressler could argue that Reddington’s reaction depended on his appearance or age. And as much as he wished to ignore it, it had saved his life once.

However, if he had the chance, he would rather shovel the Christmas tree star up into his ass.

Is he glued to floor or what?

Reddington still stood there, his thin lips twisted in a cheeky grin.

What the..? Whatever.

Donald took off his black coat and hung it on the rack. After a day of nonstop run-and-chase even a vagabond wouldn’t want to wear his coat. He had almost let a low grunt seeing Reddington’s ash-colored cashmere coat on the rack next to his leather jacket. 

Reddington was a sucker for luxury and wealth. He would always show-off wearing his three-piece suits and rarely stepped outside without a fedora.

Tonight wasn’t an exception.

“Donald, you’d better wear a scarf next time. You don’t want to catch a cold, do you?”

Almost rolling his eyes, Ressler watched Reddington leave the hallway. He took the Christmas tree and went into the living room.

What the hell…

To say he was surprised was an understatement.

“I asked Dembe to give me a hand. He wanted to help with the Christmas tree, but since it’s your place, I think you should be doing it.” Reddington took a sip of whiskey from the tumbler in his hand.

Ressler missed half of the sentence Reddington was saying, trying to take in what had just happened to the living room.

“…We left the bedroom untouched. Unfortunately, the nightmare you call ”wallpapers” is still there. However,” Reddington grinned, “you don’t invite the guests straight to bedroom, do you?”

Donald had an urge to show the exact destination he’d love to invite Reddington. Part of him wanted to strangle the bastard for what he’d done, but the other part was actually grateful. A tiny bit. Just a bit.

The room had indeed become much better: an old and tattered couch was replaced with a new, wide and comfy along with two armchairs. The walls were painted in a pleasant sandy yellow instead of the old wallpapers peeling off at the corners. There was a couple of plant pots on the windowsill—Donald had no clue where they came from. He wasn’t a plant-friendly guy, so he’d bet a hundred bucks those were dead in a week. 

Now the living room was much cozier than before. His coffee table remained at the same place, and yet it was fixed up, scuffs and scratches gone. A neat pile of The Washington Post and car repair mags had been left exactly the same way Ressler did this morning.

“You like it?” Reddington asked, a hint of genuine care heard in his voice.

Reddington and care? I must be delusional.

“Yeah, thanks. But why?”

“It’s Christmas. Of course,” Reddington gave him a foxy smile, “I’m not expecting anything in return. Gifts make me uncomfortable.” He took another sip. Swirling the tumbler, he said, “I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself. I usually prefer the taste of a much higher price tag, though… I hope you don’t mind.”

“Does it make a difference?”

“Donald, you’re a picture of hospitality.”

“I’m not the one who breaks into the apartments on Christmas.” Ressler pointed at the Christmas tree. “A hand, please?”

To Ressler’s surprise, Reddington actually helped him to put up the Christmas tree.

“Thanks. Where’s Dembe?” As far as he remembered, Dembe was Reddington’s shadow to follow him wherever he’d go. “I owe him for this one.”

For a moment Reddington’s eyes seemed to get wet with tears.

No, just a trick of light.

He and Reddington shared the same eye color—a rich green-tobacco. Each time their eyes met Ressler felt extremely odd and uncomfortable.

As if you were looking into your own.

But the difference was, one would want nothing but to escape the hard, assessing stare, picking every detail, every change you hadn’t even suspected of.

Reddington had a massive amount of dirt on everyone—CEOs, politicians, bankers, defense contractors… You name it. He also knew the whereabouts of the most dangerous outlaws no one had even heard of. Nothing slipped from him. He told Ressler once that almost all people were an open book for him. It was true.

At times Ressler was terrified at what Reddington could’ve read learned about him. He wished to erase a lot of stuff for these years of the game Reddington and the Bureau had been playing.

The fact that most of his memories involved Reddington, the man who forsook his flag and country, drove Ressler nuts.

At first he was desperately looking for the “Why me?” answer. Somehow he wanted to believe it was he who made Reddington surrender.

What could possibly the most boring person like himself do to make Concierge of Crime seek the FBI’s protection?

So he let it go.

“He’s with his granddaughter,” Reddington answered.

“Oh.”

It was beyond awkward. If he didn’t know better, he’d say Reddington had the blues.

Could he, really?

Reddington’s eyes faded, and he seemed rather stiff. For a moment Ressler missed the Reddington who’s used to cite one of those smart-ass quotes or crack a joke. Obviously, the favorite subject of ridicule was he, Donald. But eventually Ressler simply rolled with that.

Unexpectedly for himself he wanted to soothe him somehow.

Soothe?!! Soothe him?!!

Reddington was the FBI’s asset, an informant. And an extremely dangerous criminal. His empire thrived on money laundering and arms dealing. Any competitor met his maker in a shot. Literally. And though Reddington had never killed an innocent man, it didn’t change the fact he had blood on his hands.

So why it feels like shit?

The man before him wasn’t the Concierge of Crime, but a man, drowning in sickening, almost suffocating loneliness. The one Ressler knew too well.

At least there was one thing they had in common—building bulletproofs walls around themselves. Anyone who’d try to pass was immediately brushed off, with no further regrets.

The fact Reddington hadn’t hopped on his private jet to Monte Carlo, but came over to the person who hated his guts, was quite telling.

Reddington and those like him didn’t have friends. Allies, partners, acquaintances… Anyone but friends.

The very first year of Reddington and the Bureau’s symbiosis was memorable. Ressler caught a bullet into his thigh and lost lots of blood. And, as fate would have it, he got locked up with Reddington. And he, to Donald’s utmost surprise, performed a field transfusion which saved his life. Ressler was lucky they shared the same rare blood type—B negative.

Suddenly Ressler realized a thing.

Reddington considered him a friend. At least, in his twisted paradigm. If to roll with the snarky comments, Reddington must have a sort of admiration for him. He even told him that in person. But Donald would rather swallow a bullet than admit he respected Reddington.

They went into the small kitchen. There were two bags from the Sticky Fingers on the counter. The mix of ginger and vanilla in the air reminded Donald about his mom’s baking. He’d sell his soul for her pie with berries and wallnuts.

Donald put pizza boxes on the counter and then looked into the first bag.

Ginger-honey biscuits, ginger biscuits, chocolate muffins, pretzels, cupcakes, donuts. The second bag was with pies. One of them Donald instantly recognized—his Mom baked exactly the same. The other one was a meat pie.

“I didn’t know what you like. There must be baklava somewhere too.” Reddington put a teakettle on the stove, ignoring the electric one just on his right. “If we want to have Christmas dinner on time, we’d better dress the green lady up in the living room first.”

Concierge of Crime making tea in his kitchen! It’s like a snowstorm in Ecuador.

But there he was, in flesh and bone, humming some Christmas carol.

“You said it was urgent. I’m all ears.” Donald opened the drawer, taking out the box with Christmas lights. 

A number of conflicted and particularly twisted emotions was itching within him right now. The change of the subject seemed the perfect way to cool down.

“Ah, indeed. Must have slipped my mind.” Reddington paused. “I’d like to offer you a job.”

“The FBI works for you already. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but it’s a fact,” Ressler said, trying to untangle the lights’ cord with the bulbs. 

Somehow Reddington knew the exact place Ressler kept the cups and dishes. He unpacked the pie and one of the pizzas and put them in the oven. Then—arranged the muffins, cupcakes and pretzels on the plate. The rest of the goods he hid in one of the cupboards where Ressler kept bread.

Reddington found the teapot Donald hadn’t used since college and added the tea in it.

“Forget the FBI. I need you. You’re the best man for the job. Especially after Laurel’s death.” 

At this point Ressler would love nothing more but to strangle Reddington with the Christmas lights’ cord and, maybe, lit it up. 

Laurel Hitchin had been his nightmare for more than a year. Deep down he knew it had been an accident.

I didn’t mean it, for God’s sake!  

But he didn’t call it in.

Instead, he called a cleaner. 

Like the last piece of thrash on Earth. 

Of course, the luck had turned its back on him. Again. So he, once an honored FBI agent, did a number of unforgivable, horrible things. Bribing witnesses, blackmailing, moving the dead bodies, covering up murders, fabricating evidence… He did all that to keep his secret safe. 

“I was ready to go to jail. I didn’t need your help. And I didn’t ask to burn Prescott alive!”

“That’s why I need you, and no one else,” Reddington put a cup in front of him and sat at the table. “You trust no one but your gut. You’re walking on a tightrope, yet at the end of the day you make the right choice. And you can’t be bribed.” Reddington gave him a wide grin. “And, finally, you’re damn good at what you’re doing.”

“As hundreds of other agents.”

“Donald, don’t be shy,” Reddington took a sip of tea and bit at the ginger-honeyed biscuit. “M-m… Perfect. If you like honey, you’re going to like this one.” Red took another sip. “Think about it.” 

Ressler wanted to refuse at once, but Reddington raised his index finger. Apparently, he wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

“You have a week.”

Ressler sighed deeply. The cup warmed his hands, but on the inside he felt colder than an iceberg.

He didn’t realized the room was getting filled with the smell of prunes and apricots mixed with pineapples, until it’s aroma tickled his nose.

“Better do a raincheck on that.” Reddington stood up, and went to the oven. 

And Donald was left to fight with his own conscience.

To work? For him?!

The system he always put his trust with had been rotten to the core. It stank of corruption and cover-ups. More and more cases got tossed away if some moneybag threw in some cash here and there. And one could do nothing.

But what Reddington was offering… It crossed everything he woke up for in the mornings.

To seek justice for those who couldn’t do it on their own. And to punish those who deserve it.

But hadn’t he crossed the line one couldn’t go back?

The world wasn’t no longer black and white, good and evil. 

Because Reddington showed him there was much more to it.

And hadn’t he become everything he loathed?

A crooked cop.

There was no way to change that, no matter many scumbags he’d lock up.

No way to erase it. No way to make amends.

Reddington stared at him. There was something in his eyes Ressler couldn’t identify yet.

Empathy?

Understanding?

“I know what you’re thinking, Donald. And no, there are plenty of men capable of a killing job at my hire. I wouldn’t ask you to do that. At least out of the respect how much you value someone’s life.” Reddington paused, looking Ressler straight in the eye. “Even if it’s as miserable as mine.”

Ressler winced at the memory he had once caught a bullet for Reddington.

“You’re my responsibility. No matter how badly I hate your guts, it’s my job to protect you.”

“I know, Donald. And I’m ready to do the same for you.” 

Reddington gave him a long, piercing look. It seemed he was put under the microscope. Ressler could swear his whole body grew Alaska-like cold on the inside.

Donald withstood the overwhelming, almost stripping stare. Though the tide of doubts within was already coming up, ready to gargle him.

He didn’t know what to say. To he honest, he’d always been allergic to this elaborate and confusing mechanism they called a human soul. That was the reason he had almost flunk the exam on profiling.

Reddington theatrically clapped his hands.

“My goodness, the time! Donald, decorate the Christmas tree. We have one hour left. But please, don’t fall from the ladder like last time. Remind me, what was your disguise?.. Ah, the museum curator. An early Picasso hit you really bad on your head, didn’t it? Fun times, fun times indeed…”

It took Ressler a real effort not to roll his eyes on him.

This year’s Christmas seemed fun. Sort of.

Well, at least there was one thing he was still sure of.

You won’t get bored with Raymond Reddington.

[satellitephonebuy-blog]

Top  Reviews and Complaints about Safelite AutoGlass

I am a trucker (18 wheeler). I have tried 2 Safelite windshields and both got traveling cracks (DOT FAIL!) from a ding that, on a properly laminated windshield would have just been a nickel-sized ding. Safelite truck windshields are junk. I don't know what sort of laminate (if any) they have from their foreign-made garbage, but I will only use OEM or OEM quality henceforth.

My windshield was hit by several rocks from the back of someone's truck on the freeway. I ended up with 5 tiny chips in my windshield. Took my car to Safelite to fill the tiny chips. When I got my car back there was an eight inch crack across my windshield. I should it to them right away. They said that can happen when it is filled. Let me give you a quote to replace the windshield. I said, "Why should I have to pay?" I then called the main number who told me that can happen. Let me give you $50.00 off the cost of the replacement. I am going elsewhere that charges less.

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R of Blairsville, GA

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Dec. 12, 2018

I needed my back car window replaced. I called Safelite on a Sunday, and they had me scheduled for two days later. I live in a rural area, but they came to my house at the time they promised, and Randy did an awesome job replacing the glass. They worked with my insurance. Very friendly too. They’ve made a customer for life.

Carol of Berlin, NJ

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Dec. 8, 2018

I made appointment after listening to rep. on phone saying Safelite best and fastest way to get replacement auto glass. I know it's hard to find glass for order cars. Was told I would have replaced today. Took off from work. Tech called 2 hours before appt to say shop they ordered from never got glass? Formatted texts telling me they are sorry. To have a nice day? Maybe in by Monday and installed Tuesday? Why not be sure before setting appt? Disappointed! They had to know availability after or before setting my appt. It's 24 degrees out. Shrink wrap won't prevent damage. Make sure you get confirmation of availability! I didn't and now stuck!

Marilyn of Clarksville, TN

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Dec. 6, 2018

My window was down and would not come up. They found out why that was and told me what was needed. They covered my window with plastic until it could be repaired. These guys never turned me away. Thank You. Safelite for having such wonderful staff.

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Richard of Cortland, NY

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Dec. 3, 2018

After reading many of the comments on this board, I was seriously concerned with having this company do my windshield replacement. My car has a lot of electronic stuff that is controlled by the material in the windshield. I was afraid some of this would no longer work after the replacement. My insurance company uses Safelite and I told them my concerns and they assured me that if there were any problems they would take care of it. Anyway, everything was done quickly and efficiently and everything works! The experience was excellent for us.

Mark of Philadelphia, PA

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 24, 2018

Read the reviews on their site and decided: What could go wrong and then scheduled my appointment at my home... The installer removed my old windshield and all trims wipers etc. Then told he could not install the new one due to there being some rust looking dirt around perimeter of the rim (my truck is 20 years old and in very good condition)... After checking it for myself and concluding it was sound and not actual rust, the installer still declined to put it in and left me high and dry with no windshield at all... I should've listened to my gut after reading some of the other negative reviews. Fool me once shame on them. Fool me twice shame on me.

Scott of Kenosha, WI

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 24, 2018

USAA uses Safelite Glass for auto glass repairs and refers me here. Have had issues in the past too. Couple years ago, took multiple calls to schedule appt then they never showed up or cancelled at the last minute - not sure which. Rescheduling was a major hassle again. This past time, we had 9AM appt this morning for windshield replacement. Because of all the past problems, called yesterday to ask if windshield was in - said was on backorder and was scheduled to come in December 8th - 2 weeks away. Asked if they would call me when it comes in - "oh yes sir - we'll call you". Saved myself a trip going in this morning when there is no windshield to install because they never called to let me know.

John of Horicon, WI

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 24, 2018

I can't say how disappointed I am again with these idiots. My truck was broken into and I made specific plans with the dispatcher and again the technician did read the notes. I was out of country and had to have the spare key from my truck driven down to airport hotel where the window was broken. Oh did mention it was winter and it's snowing by a friend and his number was also given to Safelite. They are great at one thing - screwing up the entire replacement. I'm not going to use them ever again in fact I would rather have my eyeballs poked out with a rusty fork than have to go through the incompetence again.

William of Half Moon Bay, CA

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 17, 2018

Replaced windshield in my wife’s car, then had to come back to fix the poor job. Tried to get them to come to my house (25 minutes) to replace my car’s windshield. Refused to come despite ad that says they will do mobile repair at my choice. Can’t believe in their service or quality of repair.

Sara of Melvin, MI

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 15, 2018

My insurance company (Liberty Mutual) sent Safelite to my house to repair a stone chip the size of half a pea. There were two tiny cracks on either side of the chip and I needed it fixed before it cracked. The guy came out and "fixed" it. About 10 minutes after he left I got in my car and saw no difference, and there was a noticeable divot in the windshield that wasn't even filled flush. I called them and they assured me it was fixed and would NOT crack. I said it is not fixed and WILL crack. She again assured me it wouldn't and though "it may not look fixed it is, and won't crack".

Well, like I said, 11 days later it cracked across my entire windshield and now I have to pay to put in a completely new one. They told me it's a known risk that repairs DON'T WORK and by signing their form I was well aware of that. DO NOT USE SAFELITE. If you do, DO NOT SIGN THEIR FORM, IT RELEASES THEM FROM FAULT when they send a hack out and he doesn't know how to do a chip repair.

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Gianna of Buffalo, NY

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 15, 2018

Safelite already replaced two windshields on the same vehicle and this morning I noticed my windshield was cracked again. This will be the third windshield I've had to have replaced by Safelite. During previous installments, they did not replace the rearview mirror which is attached to the windhield, properly. They did not use adequate adhesive and it fell off while driving. During installation, the tech used vice grips on the antennae which stripped the paint. I believe Safelite takes advantage of insurance companies who offer glass coverage, and inconveniences their customers with shabby work and inferior products.

Richard of Monroe, MI

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 9, 2018

I ordered 2 windshields for my classic cars. 1971 Chevelle and 1982 Camero. Scheduled an appointment with them, the day before the installation scheduled they called and said I would have to bring the Chevelle to their shop. I have no plates on the car so I said I would have to bring it later. But I would like the Camero done on schedule the next day between 8 and 12. Called them at 12 they said they canceled the appointment so after taking off work and waiting 4 hr. They said they were sorry. I scheduled replacement with Floral City Glass in Monroe MI great job, less expensive and done on schedule.

Kenneth of Houston, TX

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 5, 2018

Just had great experience having our 2016 Jeep Wranglers windshield replaced at my home in Houston. The technician's name is Anthony. He contacted me to say he could arrive much earlier than expected (huge plus because had 5 hr window which I hate)... Not only did he arrive within exact time he stated, but my jeep was rather dirty since it’s been raining so much in Houston and he took ample time properly wiping all the windows... which had me stunned seeing this?!

Nowadays (especially young staff) technicians rush thru jobs doing it very half-assed! Anthony took his time paying attention to details and afterwards explained exactly what he’d done, plus reviewed the warranty in layman terms. I’d say including fair pricing, I couldn’t imagine receiving better service with a genuine attractive smile than I received earlier today... Thanks again to my technician. As in the field you guys are who we customers see as THE COMPANY>> irregardless how big or small the vendors may be...

                   View more                

Ric of Harrison, AR

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 4, 2018

Having a cracked windshield on 2004 Cadillac Seville, called Safelite to replace. Installer came to home, installed windshield. No problem. 2 weeks later, at 70 mph on Freeway, windshield rubber molding ripped out, slammed up to roof, destroyed sunroof deflector & roof paint. Installer did NOT replace the molding which IS PART OF THE INSTALL PROCESS! Reinstalled a new glass by a body shop who did it right. Beware of this outfit using amateurs to install product!

Marc of Hernando, MS

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Nov. 3, 2018

Technician arrived on Time. Started to work but did not have the Proper Tools to Remove my Windshield, So we waited for another Technician to show up... 50 minutes to drive 12 miles??? What the H?? He brought the "TOOL" we needed and job was finished 35 minutes later. Before my technician put my windshield on I noticed my headliner hanging down in front of my passenger visor. I asked him about it and he quickly replied "That was already there." I KNOW IT WAS NOT AS I HAD JUST CLEANED MY INTERIOR!!! Now I'm going to have to buy spray on glue and fix it myself. Safelite Customer Service has a Horrible Reputation in Satisfying their customers. My repair cost me $100.00 more than anyone else.

Jeff of Otsego, MI

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 31, 2018

Had appointment. My man called me. Was late then got here and told me he couldn't touch my truck. I have a very nice F150 with a painted to match visor over the windshield with the yellow lights. So I wasted half my day for nothing. Thank you AAA for sending them to me n ed very again first place I called said, "No problem. They're coming tomorrow."

Mike of Elk Grove Village, IL

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 25, 2018

Safelite damaged my vehicle, and made me go through a 6 long week ordeal. 1. They sent an incompetent technician to work my Mercedes. 2. He scratched the car, dropped a couple of screws in the engine area and best of all didn't even install the glass properly. He had audacity of asking for 5 stars on his survey. 3. Then a manager comes in saying he'll fix everything. He did not. He was good at coming up with excuses. He was good at making me feel stupid and dumb. He outright lied about installing new wind strip when it was clearly visible that is was same old weathered strip. Please be aware! Find a company that knows how to 1) respect customers and 2) do the job.

Susan of Orrville, OH

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 24, 2018

My technician showed up without proper equipment, said he'd be back within an hour & left. Tech came back 90 min later. I was working & couldn’t keep an eye on him. (They advertise peace of mind, right?) Technician installed the windshield & left without contacting me. Hours later I get off work & to my car for the 1st time & see ripples in the black strip along the top of my windshield. Technician left my keys turned on, therefore my car needed jumped before I could leave work. They send out a second tech the following day, who says the ripples are "normal" and applies more glue & tape.

I called corporate to resolve the issue, very disgusted with this company. Management is very rude, not taking responsibility for any wrong, stating the Tech has been with the company for 2 yrs, etc. No offer to compensate for the inconvenience or having to jump my car before I could go home after their Tech killed my battery. Safelite is a joke. Don't waste your time, you're better off taking a day off work & having your windshield replaced by true professionals.

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Linda of Mequon, WI

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 22, 2018

They gave me a window 8-5. Driver called at 3 and said he'd be here by 4. I called 4:30 and they said he was running late. Talked to mgr twice. Now sipped to come by 6! Wasted a whole day waiting. 10 hours total wait if they get here ever. Don't recommend this company in any way. Useless customer service. They just don’t give a damn.

Stacey of Minneapolis, MN

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 22, 2018

The first mobile appointment I had was canceled because it was misting out and they don't work in the rain. The second appoint was cancel, without my knowledge. The guy showed up, told me he couldn't replace since it was in a busy street and I stood in the middle of the street with him for 5 minutes and only one car passed us by. I think moved my car to a parking lot and he said he could take it from there. He did nothing other than cancel my appointment (without telling me) and just left. I text him multiple times and no response. When I asked why he didn't fix it like he said he was going to he told me I had been rescheduled. I asked to when and where and he didn't respond. Unprofessional! Wasted my time and his! And wasted company resources.

Pall of Edmond, OK

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 18, 2018

Safelite technician attempted to fix a 1/2" chip in my windshield, but while doing so applied too much pressure causing the chip to crack 18" across. He then handed me a $350 quote for a new windshield. After complaining, the corporate office offered me a $50 discount on the new windshield. Lolololol! How is this company in business???

Kimberly of Albuquerque, NM

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 15, 2018

I had my windshield replaced with Safelite then I got a stress crack. They came out to look at it. The tech said it was a stress crack then all of a sudden he says it was a rock. Sent a picture to his manager and the manager says six rocks at my windshield when no rock hit my windshield whatsoever. Now they are refusing to replace the windshield which is under a lifetime warranty. This place is terrible. Do not do business with them. They lie and scam. It’s one of the worst businesses out there.

Heather of Pierpont, OH

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 15, 2018

I have a cracked windshield and had set up an appointment two weeks ago. I checked my messages, emails and even the invoice page messages for any issues daily. Day came for them to arrive. I took vacation hours to stay home and wait for them. Only message I had received was one from "Gary" that stated he would be by around 12pm-5pm, and that he would text when he was arriving.

I waited all day and checked my messages every half an hour. Not a single message about being on his way or having issues finding my place. In the end I gave up after 5 pm and decide to leave the house to get something to eat. As I am driving I get the message that my appointment was canceled. No reason, no anything. This was 15-20mins after 5 pm.

I am now upset and call the customer "care", I get a woman saying she has no idea why and that she will email the guy but that is all she can do besides set up a new appointment. I can't spend ALL MY VACATION TIME WAITING FOR AN APPOINTMENT THEY CAN CANCEL 15 MINS AFTER ITS LATEST TIME! It is utterly ridiculous and the lack of actual caring for the customer is appalling. I refuse to make a new appointment and am gladly willing to take my business elsewhere. I would send screenshots of my messages if it let me do so here. I'd advise to not trust this company.

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Cecelia of Peoria, AZ

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 10, 2018

Cross country trip, bad hail storm in Colorado Springs, called ins. asap. Sent to Safelite Customer Service. Three different operators unhelpful; unsympathetic, would not schedule for 5 days; no attempt to find a way to help travelers. Asked for shop on the way to Kansas, still would not schedule for a week. Fortunately local Denver shop was sympathetic and obliging. Forget 800; go in to actual store.

Brian of Baton Rouge, LA

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 8, 2018

Rachael out of Baton Rouge, LA was very nice and did a great job on fixing our chip on our windshield. Only took 20 mins. I would come Back to Safelite for our future repairs on our windshield and approved our insurance. They worked very nice together!!

Jason of Clovis, CA

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 6, 2018

Safelite rep, Jeff, arrived at my residence, immediately requested that I move the car to his liking and proceeded to walk around the vehicle, to include photographing the outside and inside of the vehicle. Upon questioning his intent, of roaming around and photographing the interior, Jeff responded in a rude manner and was insufficient in his reasoning. Jeff was asked to leave and Safelite was contacted. Having utilized Safelite in the past and referring several clients this correspondence was disturbing. A company dependent on its customer service should hire better communicators or provide better training. The convenience of their service does not outweigh personal respect.

Jon of Brunswick, OH

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 6, 2018

I took a day off of work to wait at home and the technician never showed or contacted me. I had to call Safelite to find out that he didn't even know about the appointment that I made two weeks prior. The customer service reps, local and national, didn't seem to care.

Kathy of Newport, NC

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 5, 2018

Safelite came out to fix 2 windshield spots. In the commercial it looks great, however that's not what we got. The spots are still there, still look the same with something like clear nail polish over them and charge is $189. Disappointed and you can't even tell anything was done. One is pencil eraser size and other is smaller.

Joe of Osseo, MN

                   Verified Reviewer                

Original review: Oct. 2, 2018

Was going on my 3rd Safelite windshield this year and they don't stand behind their product. 2 windshields were about a month old when the first one got a crack from a rock that flew up, the other cracked on its own. I called immediately, took pictures, and the representative that scheduled the appointment and mentioned that I wouldn't have to pay because it was only a month old. I get to the appointment which was just a waste of time because they refused to replace it saying that it was a not a stress crack, which it appears to be. I just left and I won't be using Safelite anymore. I will be going to small claims court to see if I can get my money back for this defective windshield. No one should have to pay full price for the 3rd windshield within 90 days of each other. Just sad that big companies can act like this.

[shireness-says]

Driver’s Education

Summary:  God, she wishes teaching Killian to drive was as easy as teaching Henry. Or, Killian vs. the modern automobile. ~1.5K. Also on AO3

A/N: The second thing I ever posted, transferred here in honor (read: under the excuse of) Fandom Crescendo. Just a cute, ridiculous little thing. Un-beta’d. Enjoy - I hope you like it!

On a lovely day in May, Emma Swan finds herself gripping the car’s roof handle and contemplating that she may be in the middle of the worst idea she’s ever had.

Well, that’s probably not strictly true. Letting Henry eat that apple turnover was a horrible idea. Taking on the Darkness was a horrible idea. This is just mildly unfortunate in comparison.

Then again, she thinks as Killian takes a corner far too fast, this is starting to be right up there.

This adventure in risking her sanity started innocently enough, if you can believe it. Henry was turning 15 in a month, and like the generous mothers they were, Emma and Regina had decided to let him take a few tentative turns behind the wheel before Driver’s Ed began.

“I don’t want look like an idiot, driving for the first time with other students in the car!” he’d begged. “C’mon, just a few times. Please? I promise I’ll do everything you say and that it will help in the long run!”

And really, he’d had a point. What would it hurt? So, the two women agreed to take him to cruise around the school parking lot the few Saturdays before his birthday and permit test. Though Regina provided her nice, new sedan for the effort, it was decided Emma would take the lead on teaching. Better to learn from someone who was taught the traditional way, instead of via curse. Empty lot, low speeds, decent teacher – what could go wrong, they thought.

With Henry, the answer was absolutely nothing. Despite the mailbox incident with David several years prior (the main argument against allowing any early lessons now), their son took to driving like a duck to water. It seems that years of observing his various family members finally paid off. Quicker than Emma anticipated, Henry graduated from taking slow circles around the parking lot to creeping down back roads. He’s confident and proud of himself, she’s proud yet about to cry about the fact that her little boy is growing up, and Regina is just relieved she doesn’t need to replace any more mailboxes – yet.

No, Henry isn’t the problem. The real problem is Killian.

As Henry turns the Volvo back into the high school parking lot after a final, successful run on the roads, Emma gets to thinking. Killian has been in Storybrooke for nearly three and a half years now. She’s proud of him every day for the way he’s adapted to things in the Land Without Magic – it can’t be easy, having to learn so many new things after three hundred years inhabiting one way of life. He’s better on the stove than she is, adores Netflix, and has even stopped referring to her laptop as the “portable magic information box”. It really might be time he learns to drive, and be able to get places of his own volition. Now would probably be the best time, as long as she’s teaching Henry anyways. As she mulls the matter over in her head, she really can’t see a downside, and when she brings it up to Killian, he’s excited to try. Really, what’s the worst that could happen?

Famous last words.

As it turns out, Killian hasn’t paid nearly as much attention to her driving as Henry had, and she has to teach him the basics about the controls before he can even think about shifting into drive.

“Ok, what’s the lever on the right do?”

“Um… direction indicators.”

“No, windshield wipers. They take the water off the glass in front of you. The ‘direction indicators’ are actually called ‘turn signals’, and are operated by the level on the left. Now, which way for right and which way for left?”

“Up is left?”

“Down is left. Up is right. Right, like the direction you’re lifting it towards. And where are your headlights?”

“The switch on the left, underneath the vent. Please tell me that’s right, love.”

She nods begrudgingly. “Which pedal is which?”

“The right is go, the left is stop, and you have a third pedal in your car that I don’t need to worry about right now.”

Well, at least he’s got that down. Foolishly, she goes for broke, and points to a dial on the dash. “And what does this do?”

“…Temperature control?”

It’s the radio knob.

This is going to take a while.

------

After a nearly embarrassing amount of time – really, it takes him over a week – she’s finally confident that he understands the basic controls enough to be allowed behind the wheel. She drives out to the local high school again one Sunday, ready to try and teach a three-hundred-year-old pirate how to operate a piece of heavy machinery. But she always feels like driving is somewhat instinctual, a matter of feel more than anything, the car an extension of one’s body. He’ll pick it up quickly. Surely, the worst is over, right?

Wrong, on so many counts.

The lesson gets off to a bad enough start, with Killian consistently overshooting and undershooting the ‘drive’ position on the gear shifter. Then, once he finally gets it into drive (smoothly, five times in a row, on Emma’s insistence), he demonstrates that he has no concept of how to operate the gas and brake pedals. First, he puts way too much pressure on the gas, the car leaping forward far faster than safe or comfortable, then slamming on the brakes when Emma tells him to slow it down. Which leads to this moment – clinging to the ceiling handle, borderline praying for her life.

It’ll be a miracle if I don’t have to fix any dents on Regina’s car, Emma thinks, as the car finally jerks to a stop. Desperately, she tries to come up with something positive to say, but keeps drawing a blank.

“Well, that was… a good start. You’ve definitely figured out which pedal does what. Maybe we can try just using one foot to operate the pedals, instead of two?”

Killian just looks confused. “But why? There are two pedals, shouldn’t I use both feet?”

God, it’s like pulling teeth. “You just don’t, ok? In some cars, you need the other foot for other things. And when you’re using both feet, you tend to press the pedals too aggressively. Does that make sense?”

That confusion morphs into frustration. “Not particularly, but I’ll trust you, love.” He shifts the car into drive again. “I thought you said it should feel natural, controlling the speed?”

Yeah, I thought so too.

It’s only by some unheard-of miracle that by the time they leave, two and a half hours later, Killian is finally able to control the Volvo at a crawl.

At this rate, she’s not sure she’ll survive teaching Killian to drive.

------

A few weeks later, they’re finally able to hit the open road – and she truly means the open road, choosing to let him take the wheel on a stretch of practically forgotten pavement. On the one hand, Emma is pleased that her lessons in controlling speed have finally paid off. On the other, Killian now refuses to drive the car above a snail-like 15 miles per hour. It’s simultaneously endearing and frustrating, leaning more towards the latter. But at the same time, he’s just so pleased with himself, narrating every action he takes.

“And now, we’re taking a right turn, so I click this lever upwards… and there appears to be dirt on my windshield, so I pull the other lever in towards me to spray the fluid and activate the wipers… now Swan, it appears we’re driving through a very shady area, shall I activate the headlights?”

Ok, maybe he’s more endearing than frustrating.

------

The final stage of his driving education, after a month and a half carefully driving around town, is the dreaded parking maneuvers, and Emma ends up closing off an entire street for the purpose. She just doesn’t trust him not to bump into other parked cars. As it turns out, this is the one part of driving that he seems to be a natural at.

“Well, Swan, after having to carefully maneuver the Jolly for years, this little car isn’t so hard. It was really just a matter of mastering the speed control.”

Huh. Who’d have thought.

It still doesn’t stop a crowd from gathering to watch the dreaded Captain Hook maneuver a mid-size sedan between two orange cones. Emma will admit – there’s something inherently entertaining about the very idea.

------

Finally, in November, six months after their hellish lessons began, Killian Jones earns himself a Maine driver’s license. Regina presides over the test, and exits the Volvo shocked and impressed.

“Well done, Ms. Swan, I’d actually trust him on the roads of Storybrooke.”

To celebrate, and grant the new driver a modicum of independence, they purchase a small SUV he promptly dubs the Jolly Landship. (He thinks it’s funny; she thinks it’s awful.)

Henry earns his own license the following May, to the surprise of no one. He’s proved to be just as excellent a driver as first impression suggested.

After the successful tests of both students in the Swan-Jones household, there’s really only one thing left to do.

“Road trip, Swan?”

[ahumanexperiencemoment]

“Sometimes the Road Calls (or It’s A Midlife Crisis)” Part 3 Of 3.

I slept pretty soundly and woke up around nine in the morning. The bed was firm but honestly, I don’t think it would have mattered how soft or firm the bed was… I was so worn out, I probably would have slept soundly on the floor.  After a quick shower, I got dressed and pushed my bike outside and loaded it up. I walked over to turn the keys in where a young lady sat behind the counter. She was 8 months pregnant and was about to pop. She said she had to check the room, so I walked with her and learned more about her. I asked her if it was her first child and she told me that it was going to be her fourth which was surprising to me because she didn’t look old enough to have that many kids. As I get older, I am really getting bad at gauging age. I think that happens to all of us. After she cleared the room, I got my safe deposit money back because since I paid in cash, I had to leave money the night before. I started my bike and rode across the street to a gas station to fill up before I set out on the second day of my adventure.

(Terre Haute, Indiana before I started)

I pulled into the gas station across the street from the motel and one of the pumps didn’t work, so I had to roll around to another one. Frustratingly, the gas came out rather quickly and splashed all over my hand and the fuel tank. I went to grab towels from the dispenser where they kept the windshield wiper squeegee and it was empty, as was the cleaning solution. I went inside to the bathroom, which only had an air blower to dry hands with. Thankfully though, near the drink machines, there was another sink with napkins, so I washed my hands as best as I could, wet down a few napkins and walked back out to clean my fuel tank. I then returned and washed my hands and arm again but I couldn’t seem to get rid of that gas smell… ugh….  A great start to a long day…. I was hoping that wasn’t an omen about the course of the remainder of the day.

I decided to go inside and grab a bottled water and a breakfast bar and I ended up talking to the manager of the store. I told him conversationally that once you get gas on you, it is so tough to get off. He agreed and said it happens to him all the time. The conversation went forward, as some conversations do, and he asked about my trip and where I was heading. We talked for a bit longer and I learned he had been a manager for several plus years and he commiserated on a tough life of working at that location, dealing with ungrateful and entitled people. He shared a couple of stories and finally, I had to back out of the conversation by being polite but telling him that I had to get going, because I had many miles to go that day. He understood but to be honest, he looked rather sad standing behind that counter. An older gentleman with a droopy mustache and eyes behind dusty glasses.  Sometimes, we make choices in life and we don’t know the full ramifications of those choices until many years later. And sometimes, we don’t like those choices. I got that feeling listening to him that day. As I got on my bike and started away, I waved at the guy through the window and he waved back.

Now, I was on the road again. I was having trouble with my duffle bag because it kept on wanting to tilt and lean to one side. No matter what I did to cinch it down, it just didn’t want to work. So, I ended up riding for a little bit, stopping, readjusting and then continuing on. It wasn’t long before my hand started cramping up and hurting again but thankfully, there was a lot of straight shots and small towns to get through.

A couple hours later I rolled through Vincennes and onto Princeton, Indiana where I turned right and headed into Illinois. First stop was rolling through Mount Carmel. I am glad that I came this way. Twenty years ago, when I was a young marine, I came this way in the dead of the night. I just finished my Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) school and I had the option to drive all the way home to the panhandle of Florida from Maryland, which would have taken sixteen plus hours, or I could drive to Southern Illinois where I have a ton of extended family and it would only have been eleven or so hours. This would have been around 1998 and that was the first time I drove through Mount Carmel and Carmi, Illinois. So, it was interesting to me to drive that same route twenty years later. Of course, I didn’t recognize it, as it was in the middle of the night and so many years ago the first time. But for whatever reason, those two town names have stuck in my mind ever since then.

(Mount Carmel, Illinois)

I stopped off and gassed up again in Mount Carmel, Illinois. I spoke with a gentleman while filling up and we talked about the motorcycle.  After I gassed up, I pulled over to a parking area in the shade of the store and decided to take an extended break. I walked into the store to use the restroom and grab something to eat and drink. I should have found a place to sit and eat but for some reason, when I am on the road, I go into this “travel mode” where I just go…I don’t get hungry, I don’t get thirsty, I just fall into this zombie like mode to just get to the next stop. Once I stop though, I am reminded like a distant thought crossing the void, “hey, you might be hungry” and then before I know it, it grows to the point of awareness.   Besides the slight pang of hunger, I was also getting dehydrated.  Although I drank water throughout the day before, it wasn’t near enough and I didn’t put on any sunscreen that first day and surprisingly, you can still get a pretty good sunburn, even in the latter part of the day. I looked for something good to eat but there didn’t seem to be much in the way of options, so I decided to get a Lunchable.  I actually like Lunchables - crackers, cheese, and ham or turkey with a cold Capri sun and a Reese’s Peanut Butter. I also bought a Gatorade. I walked up the counter and the nice young lady and I exchanged pleasantries as she got me my change. I walked back out and plopped right down next to the bike on the curb. I sucked that Capri sun down and then slowly ate the rest of the tray. I was just enjoying the moment, watching the cars drive by. It wasn’t long before I was done. Lunchables aren’t that big so I threw the package away and guzzled down half the Gatorade. Since I was dehydrated, I could feel the headache coming, which wouldn’t be good because with the hard tail, feeling every bump in the road would not be a good thing to experience.   After I was done with the Gatorade, I threw away my trash, stretched and got back on the bike.    

(Where I sat in the shade eating lunch)

A few miles later, I was having issues with my duffel bag again and was getting frustrated… Well, I was always frustrated, I was getting past frustrated. Finally, I just pulled off in a little town named Cowling, Illinois. I pulled into the parking lot of a little country church and tried to re-cinch my gear down.  During the process of adjustment, one of the straps just broke and I finally decided to just wear it like a back pack, which worked out surprisingly well.  Why hadn’t I done it earlier? Oh well, lesson learned.

I got back on the road and headed into Carmi, Illinois which was a bustling town. Like I wrote earlier, the last time I came through was twenty years ago, so I didn’t recognize anything, and the size of the town surprised me. There was road work near where the train tracks crossed the road I was traveling, but thankfully, it didn’t hold me up for very long. There were two very bored-looking guys holding a “Stop” and “Slow” sign, due to there only being one lane open. When I left Carmi, the weather was cloudy but still sunny. It wasn’t long before I saw a storm looming in the distance. That’s one thing about the Midwest and southern Illinois in the summer - storms pop up lightning fast (no pun intended). I thought and hoped that I could make it to my destination before the storm and I crossed paths, but before long it started sprinkling sporadically and I then decided that I would pull off to put on my rain gear in the next town, which happened to be Norris, Illinois.  It’s funny but I made it all day the day before and I was less than an hour away from my destination so naturally, rain would come. I write that in jest, but it did seem Murphy’s law dictated that I couldn’t have a trip without a little rain. But to be honest, we all need a little rain from time to time in life. It helps us to appreciate those times we do have it good. I suited up in the rain gear and continued on.  

(Norris, Illinois where I pulled over to suit up in rain gear)

Finally, I made it to Eldorado Illinois, and thankfully I had the forethought to put on the rain gear because the bottom dropped out and I was riding in the rain. Kind of like those bugs I mentioned earlier… the rain hurts just as bad. But, since I had on the jacket, the pelting wasn’t too bad, however, it was hard to see with my glasses getting wet.  It was slow-going because I just didn’t trust the roadway with it being wet, so I slowed down even more. Cars passed me by, which slung more water on me. It went on this way for quite a while until I hit Harrisburg Illinois. When I hit the outskirts, the rain stopped, and the sun made its appearance again. I rode past many stores and many places in Harrisburg that I had grown up shopping at, during the years when I was visiting every summer. Over here was where the local video rental store was, over there was the new Walmart, which was down the road from where the old Walmart was. There is where my aunt still gets milk that comes in glass bottles. And here, the Dairy Queen…You get the idea. I continued on.  About six miles outside, between Harrisburg and Stonefort is the little town of Carrier Mills.

I decided to stop off in Carrier Mills to gas up again before traveling a few more miles to my destination. I didn’t know what the next day would bring so I figured it was best to fill the gas tank. As I was gassing up, I met and talked with an older gentleman who asked me about my bike and who I was visiting. It turned out that he knew my aunt and uncle – they had grown up together. Small world. The more you travel, the smaller it gets. Since I was coming to the end of my trip, I was eager to get to it so I hopped back on the bike and continued on.

After leaving Carrier Mills, it was just a few miles before I finally made it to the last town and destination of my trip, Stonefort, Illinois. I turned on the road that went past the small country church I attended every summer with my aunt. I have many fond memories there. It looks like it has grown quite a bit since the time I went, but I will never forget the people I knew there when I was a kid. I also passed by the trailer where my cousin’s grandmother lived.  It’s always weird to see people live in a place that you either lived at or spent a lot of time at previously.  You wonder how they decorated it, and does it look or smell the same inside…just general thoughts like these.  I don’t know who lives in that trailer now, nor did I see them when I drove past, but they keep the place up pretty well. My aunt lives about a mile outside of town and it didn’t take long before I arrived at her house. They weren’t home, but they left the door open for me, so I went inside. I was so exhausted and before long, the storm opened up again. I sat on the couch and with the rain hammering on the roof and thunder rolling in the distance and across the sky, I slept… and slept hard.

(My destination out side Stonefort, Illinois)

It was a great adventure and my body was sore, but I loved every minute of it. In retrospect, I am so glad that my wife met me with the truck. I thought about that a lot during those two days of riding, especially when my hand hurt the worst. If I had to drive the entire way from Southern Illinois to New Orleans on the bike, I just don’t think I would have made it… or it would have taken me a lot longer than I wanted it to.  Who knows though…maybe in the future, I will attempt it, but I am glad that for whatever reason, it didn’t work out this time. I got my little adventure, and my mom, and my wife got to come up and enjoy time with family for the family reunion. All in all, it was a great trip.

From start to finish, I traveled almost 400 miles. I saw places and met people in passing I never had the chance of seeing before and sadly, will probably never see again. This trip really struck home how fast we all are in our endeavors to get somewhere. There were a couple times when I was out there all alone and saw those big nice Harleys or Honda Goldwings pass me like I was standing still, but they didn’t get to see the landscape like I did. Being forced to go slow, I really had time to take it all in. From the kids playing down the side street in a town I passed through, to well-kept and not so well-kept yards, to the roadside flower beds, I was able to see it all. I think life can be like that too. People are zipping here and there, and, in our haste, we miss so much. I think life would be better for us all if we just learned or forced ourselves to slow down.  I know…it’s easier said than done. We all have different motivations for what we do. I think deep down, we all want to leave behind a legacy of some sort, but most of us don’t know why or how. One thing is for sure…we are in pursuit of it.

[erikandariel]

How We Met: 3/3

Part 1 | Part 2 

Length: 6,091

Tuesday arrived more quickly than I wanted it to. This was partially because I never liked slogging through finals, but mostly it had to due with hanging out with Erik and Ariel that day. The three of us had agreed to meet up in the parking lot by my dorm a little after 11:15. Although I hadn’t told them that the dorm that the lot was next to was the one I lived in. I was honestly a bit proud of myself for thinking to have that extra layer of security in case things went badly. But before I went to look for them and their car, I stopped off at my room to switch out my book bag for my camera. Ana was sitting at their desk working on their last essay for finals. They were still sleeping when I left for my pre-test breakfast that morning, but now they were dressed and presentable as far as clothing and washing their face and such. I could tell that they were thinking hard when I entered the room because they looked like a human pretzel. They sat on one leg that was folded beneath their body and their other leg was bent and resting on the chair so that the knee was up by their shoulder. “How’s it going?” I teased. They transferred the pained expression that they have for their laptop’s screen to me. I partially mimicked the look in sympathy but said with some enthusiasm, “I believe in you!” “Thanks,” they sighed, already back to staring at their laptop. “Try not to pass out today, ya?” I rolled my eyes in mock annoyance. “You almost pass out all the time and then I go and do it once and you won’t let me live it down!” “Yup,” they snorted. And the important word there is ‘almost’.” I made a face to the back of their head as I set my book bag down. Then I grabbed the tube of sunscreen I had strategically placed on my desk and doused every inch of exposed skin with it. Then I put it in my camera bag before putting the bag’s strap over my head and on my shoulder so that it laid across my body. “Well I should get going and let you get back to work. Bye!” I made my hands into a heart shape and pointed it in their direction. Without looking away from their essay, they responded in kind. I giggled to myself as I headed out the door. As I walked down the steps from the 4th to the 1st floor, I checked my phone. It was 11:13 so I figured Erik and Ariel weren’t on campus yet, but would be soon. Knowing the people in our age group, I guessed it would be at least another five minutes. Which is why when I walked out the dorm’s front door I was surprised to hear an excited voice yell, “Hey Ken, we’re over here!” from the lot. Never mind. Apparently they showed up to places early rather than late. Ariel bounced up and down and waved at me from next to the passenger door of a silver convertible. The top layer of her long, wavy brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, with the smaller, lighter sections of it blowing somewhat in the light breeze. This time she was the one wearing a crop top. It was light blue with a flower design in the middle of the front. She was wearing some sort of high-waisted denim pants. Although they could have also been shorts. While she easily stood two to three feet taller than the cars still in the lot, I couldn’t see where the leg cuffs ended. The top of the convertible was down so I could easily see Erik sitting rigid in the driver’s seat and staring straight ahead through a pair of large dark sunglasses. Well on a normal sized person they would have been large. On him they were actually a little too small. The space he had in the car was a similar situation. It looked like he had the seat all the way back but he still seemed cramped. The theme of things being slightly too small for him continued with his white T-shirt. It clung to his body to the point where I could easily see all of his form beneath it, including individual muscles and… his nipples… He also wore his hair up, but at least on the side of his head that I could see, it looked like he had a thin ribbon or braid going from his temple to where the rest of the hair was collected in a ponytail on the back of his head. Since he seemed to be ignoring me, I tried to ignore him to and focused on Ariel. I tried to give a genuine smile as I returned her wave and walked over to the car. “Hey!…” “Do you want to sit in the passenger seat or in the back?” she asked quickly. I still wasn’t used to her and Erik’s accent so it took me longer than usual to parse what she was saying. “And if you do sit in the back do you want me to sit back there with you or no?” “Uhh…” I’d never ridden in a convertible before. Mostly because I other than these two, I never knew someone with a convertible, but I also had a slight aversion to them. I always figured that with the top down I’d end up with a lot of bugs smashing into my face and holy shit do I hate bugs. Also glasses don’t exactly come with mini wipers to clean them off. I didn’t want to be a bother and ask them to put the top up though. 1) Because I barely knew them. And 2)Since I didn’t know if either of them could have fit underneath it. “…I’ll sit in the front I guess?” I said, choosing to hope that the windshield would keep me mostly bug-free. “If that’s okay with you guys of course…” Ariel looked quizzical. “Why would I offer to let you sit there if I wasn’t okay with you choosing it?” “Well… um… good point… I guess I just wanted to make sure?” “Don’t worry, you can sit there,” Ariel said with a smile as she opened the passenger door for me. I slid in and quickly buckled up as she vaulted over the edge of the car and into the seat behind me. It was a 2-door car though, so normally someone would have to fold the front seat forward to get back there. But she’d easily made it back there in one jump with the only jostling being from her landing. I didn’t think about this at the time though because I saw how many various buttons were on the console and dashboard. There was even a touch screen. I am easily distracted by technology. Erik turned the car on and as he went to grab the stick to go in reverse, I noticed he wasn’t buckled. As much as I wanted to I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t want to seem rude like I had at the petting zoo where we met. I must’ve had some sort of look on my face though as Erik glanced my way before quickly grabbing the seat belt and clicking the buckle into place. “Oh. I forgot I took it off while we waited for you,” he mumbled. I heard Ariel buckling herself behind me. “Safety first!” she said enthusiastically. “Yay!” I responded, turning around to giver her a thumbs up. She quickly did the same with a very excited grin. Erik grumbled something as he threw the car into reverse, out of the parking spot, then quickly shifted it into gear and sped out of the lot. I grabbed onto my door and clutched my camera bag to me for dear life. Over the roar of the wind in my ears I heard Ariel yell something at Erik. We slowed down some and when we turned onto the highway we didn’t accelerate quite as fast as before. I loosened my death hold on the car door. “Sorry,” Erik said, not sounding apologetic at all. “I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.” “I noticed,” I mumbled under my breath. He stayed silent for the rest of the trip. Meanwhile Ariel tried to ask me multiple questions, but it was hard for me to understand her over the wind until we were on the road leading to the zoo. It was a nice day, but the place wasn’t very busy; with it being a weekday and kids still in school and all. Before we walked into the zoo’s main building I did sort of try to protest against them paying for my ticket again. I always felt awkward accepting this sort of help and even more so if I didn’t insist it wasn’t necessary until they finished the transaction. “We said we would pay for you and we will,” Erik snapped at me. I shut up at that point and tried to look interested in the landscaping. After we made it inside, Ariel immediately laced her arms around Erik’s left one. “So what do you want to do first?” she asked me. “Food?” “Oh, it is time for lunch, isn’t it?” she replied. My stomach rumbled in agreement and she laughed. I tried to see what Erik’s reaction was from the corner of my eye, but he seemed to not be paying attention and staring straight ahead like he had in the car. Granted, it was a bit hard to tell since he was still wearing his sunglasses… even though we were inside. If he’d been anyone else I knew I would have teased him about it. But that didn’t seem to be his cup of tea so instead I readjusted my bag’s strap and took a step in the direction we needed to go. “The food court’s this way,” I explained. “Okay!” Ariel said as she and Erik started after me. “Do you know what you’re going to get?” I changed my pace to walk next to her. The hallways in this building were wide and with hardly any other guests around I figured it would be find to walk three-across. And if it did get crowded I figured I’d just move behind the couple. I was more comfortable being the last person in a group anyway. I quickly realized that despite my plan, I might have to walk behind them anyway because in order to keep up with I had to take longer and faster strides than I normally did. “A hamburger if they have ‘em. What about you guys?” “We ate before we left for your school,” Erik said curtly. “Oh.” “Well I’m still hungry,” Ariel said and I noticed her elbow him sharply before she turned back to me. “Do you know what else there is to eat here?” “Well we’re almost there…” I pointed to the sliding doors where we could see some tables and the first few stations on the other side. We stopped once we were in the food court to see the answer to Ariel’s question. I quickly picked out the grill area where it turned out they were actually selling hamburgers. There was also a sub shop, a place for Chinese food, vegetarian only area, and of course a spot just for ice cream. I tried to act casual while the couple talked quietly to one another in their native language about, I assumed, what she was going to get and if he was going to get anything. Near the end of the exchange it sounded like they disagreed about something and I hoped it didn’t have anything to do with me. At that point I’d realized that Erik really didn’t seem to like and that he also didn’t want to be there. However, I noticed him grudgingly give Ariel his credit card before she looked back at me with a grin. “Okay! I’m going to go the vede- veze- … vegetarian area!” she said. “Erik’s going ta go with you so you can get your hamburger and he can get himself something to drink.” And with that she gave us a small wave and left us where we were. I nervously looked at Erik. He’d partially crossed his arms and looked deflated with his shoulders hunched forward. It made him look like he felt awkward instead of angry like I would’ve expected. He flourished a hand in the direction of where we needed to go so I hesitantly led the way. We were the only ones in line at the grill station so after another cautious glance in his direction I stepped up to the cashier. “Hi. How can I help you?” they asked halfheartedly. “Hi, uh… I’ll have a double hamburger, so no cheese! And only mustard; nothing else on it.” I waited for them to punch in that part of my order. “And a bottle of sweet tea, please.” “’Kay. You can grab the tea over there.” They pointed towards a cooler a few feet away from me and which Erik was standing next to. “Anything else?” “Uh… yeah. Whatever he’s having.” I gestured at Erik while I took a step back so he could take his turn. He gave me what felt like a nervous look before taking a step forward. A single step. With his height it was a long stride, but he was still like three feet away from where most people would stand. “I will also have a bottle of sweet tea,” he said slowly. “Grab it over there.” The cashier pointed at the cooler again. I was thankful that they didn’t seem phased by his size or his accent. “Is that all?” “Yes,” he replied as he took out his wallet. “Your total is $10.74,” they told him and then nodded at me. “Your burger will be ready in a couple minutes.” I nodded back. Before flipping through the surprisingly large amount of bills he had, Erik pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head. I wasn’t sure if it was the light from the station’s heat lamps or what, but it looked like he had a slight yellow color to his eyes. There was an awkward second as the cashier and I waited for him to hand some cash over. He looked down at our total on the register’s screen, then back to his wallet before he straightened himself back up to his full height and flipping again through the bills. I could feel the frustration radiating off him. The cashier cleared their throat and I saw that they were beginning to look nervous. “Uh… sir?” He turned his glare on them and they took half a step back. “Just a sec!” I told them and sidled over to Erik’s elbow and extended my hands toward his. I paused for a second as I realized what I’d done, but decided I was committed at this point with being so close to him. I also just wanted this to end for the poor cashier’s sake. “Here, I can help,” I whispered. I refused to look up at his face. He sighed and I felt the breeze from it in my hair so I knew he was looking at me. He shifted his stance to be angled more towards me. Then he held the wallet open wide with his right hand and offered the closest end of it to me. “Please,” he said in an exasperated tone. I reached up and lightly pulled the wallet down so that I could actually see in it with being this close. It turned out that Erik’s natural waistline was right about at my eye level and so while it may have worked just fine for him to hold the wallet at that height I would need to stand on my tip toes and I am in no way a ballerina so that wasn’t going to happen. Thankfully he had things organized by amount so it was easy for me to find a $10 bill. “Do you have any change you want to use?” I asked, still keeping my voice quiet. “What is change?” he asked, matching my volume. “Uh, coins; pennies, dimes, quarters…” “No,” he huffed. I quickly grabbed a 1 and offered the two bills to him. He hesitated before slowly reaching for them with large left hand and carefully taking them from me. The cash looked like they should be toy money when compared to him. He took a short step forward before shoving his hand at the cashier; who I noticed was now sweating a fair amount. They quickly grabbed. “Um. Out of $11…” they mumbled as they punched the amount in. Before the drawer fully opened they quickly put away what Erik gave them and grabbed his change. “Here’s 26 cents.” Erik glared at their awaiting hand. I edged around him and offered a palm to them in his place. “Can you grab the tea please, Erik?” I asked, hoping that I didn’t sound too nervous. He gave a grunt but put his wallet away and then stepped over to the cooler. H easily grabbed both bottles with one hand. I stepped off to the side to wait for my hamburger and he came over and stood slightly behind me. “Here,” he said flatly as a thing of tea suddenly appeared next to my face. “Thanks.” I turned a little to take it with my free hand and then held out the one with the change. “Do you want your coins back?” He forcefully pushed his sunglasses back onto the bridge of his nose. “You can keep them.” “You sur-” I remembered our interaction on our way into the zoo. “Thanks,” I said instead. I hastily opened my camera bag to put them away in my wallet. He grunted in return and I figured whatever moment had happened when we were ordering was over. As I made sure my bag was securely closed, I noticed him shift his weight from one foot to the other. “Thank you,” he said. I glanced up at his face but from the angle of his head it was clear he wasn’t looking at me. “For helping me pay with… paper money.” I caught myself smiling but before I could say anything Ariel appeared between us. “I have my food!” she announced. “What are you two waiting on?” “Uhh… ma’am…?” I heard the grill cashier say. They pushed a tray with hamburger on it towards me. I tried not to wrinkle my nose at getting misgendered. After all they obviously couldn’t know from just looking at me that I was non-binary, but it still always bothered me when it happened. “Thank you,” I said instead. I quickly put my tea on the tray and grabbed it. Then turning to Ariel and Erik I asked, “Where do you guys want to sit?” “We don’t have a preference!” Ariel replied for the both of them. “Uh… okay…” I surveyed the tables near us, then at some by the large windows on the other side of the room. “How about over there?” The air conditioning was making me a little cold so I led the way to one of the tables that was somewhat in the sun. The two followed. I put my camera camera bag on the floor between the window and the seat I was sliding into. The window looked out on a tree-shaded plaza, beyond which I could see some of the zoo’s elevated walkways. Erik and then Ariel stopped next to the table instead of sitting down. “Isn’t the sun in your eyes there?” he asked hesitantly. “Won’t you get too hot?” she added. “Nah, I’m good.” I shrugged and started to unwrap my sandwich. “I’m a little cold and the sun is warm so I’ll live.” Ariel examined the table before saying something to Erik and nudging him forward. He took a deep breath in and out before taking off his sunglasses and handing them to me. “Here.” Instead of looking at me he squinted out the window. “Oh, no, I’m good!” I repeated. Pointing to my own glasses I said, “Mine sort of turn into sunglasses if there’s enough UV.” He glanced at Ariel. She said something to him before pointing at the spot across from me with one hand while easily balancing her tray with the other. He put his sunglasses back on then moved next to the chair she’d indicated. I just stared as he pulled it back far enough to touch the one behind him, then gingerly sat down. His body made a wall between me and the sun. He didn’t move his chair any closer to the table and I figured part of it had to do with his knees being almost as tall as the top of the table. Ariel put her tray down and took the seat next to me. She had her chair at a normal distance from the table, but I was pretty sure it was due to her folding her legs neatly to her side, almost as though she were riding a horse side-saddle. They both stared at me. “Aren’t you going to eat?” she finally asked. “Um, sure…” I snapped back to attention and took the top but off my hamburger to make sure there weren’t any offending vegetable on it. It was clean so I picked up the entire sandwich and took a bite. They seemed to take this as a signal that they could also start eating, or rather drinking in Erik’s case. They both took smaller samples of their stuff than I expected. He seemed surprised by the tea’s flavor while Ariel looked thoughtful for a moment or two while she processed the taste of her wrap. Then they caught me looking at them and I realized they were also watching me. To try to cover up the fact that I’d been staring at them, I took an unnecessarily large bite. Almost mechanically, they had a little more of their own things. Ariel started to say something when I discovered that the bite was a little to big for me. I hurriedly tried to open my tea. Like I didn’t have anything stuck in my throat, it was just that uncomfortable feeling I would get when I tried eating too much at once. Thankfully this was the case because my first attempt failed. “Ken, are you okay?” she asked as I changed my grip a little. “Just thirsty,” I grunted as I tried again. The lid didn’t move. So I grabbed the bottom part of shirt and held it against the cap to see if that would improve my odds. And another failure. “Let me do it,” Erik said and suddenly one of his large hands appeared over my hamburger. I passed the bottle to him. “Thanks…” I said sheepishly. “I like always have problems opening bottles…” Leaning a little over the table, he turned the cap with what looked like no effort and there was a satisfying crack and hiss as he broke the seal. He laid the lid on my tray before offering the bottle back to me. As I greedily took it from him, I accidentally brushed my fingers across part of his warm hand. I paused and briefly marveled at just how much bigger it was than mine. A shiver ran up his arm and I quickly shoved my tea into my face. I took a couple large gulps as if that would somehow make up for just how awkward this day was. Instead I almost literally inhaled it. “Don’t choke!” Ariel gasped, standing up. Erik quickly followed suit and even leaned over and placed a hand on my shoulder. I heard the table behind him move as he pushed away from his chair. “I’m good,” I tried to assure them between coughing and trying to get air in my lungs. “Just give me a sec. My body’ll calm down.” Erik tightened his grip to where it started to hurt. I looked up at him in surprise but at least it stopped my diaphragm from freaking out for a moment. He stared at his hand as though he was also surprised by how tightly he held my shoulder before quickly pulling it away. He dropped back into his chair, crossed his arms, and glared out the window. I coughed a few more times before taking a cautious sip of tea. Ariel still stood over me. She looked like she was ready to fight the bottle if she needed to. It was honestly very intimidating. “I’m fine!” I said again. I patted the air in the direction of her chair, trying to get her also sit down again. She narrowed her eyes at the offending drink but did plop back down beside me. “Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked seriously. “Yeah! This kind of thing happens all the time…” I said, hiding my mouth behind a hand. Erik snorted. I swallowed. “What?” I asked. I sounded more defensive than I meant to. “Okay so I know that like since we met I seem like a helpless baby, but I’m not!” Ariel studied me with suspicion. I tried to ignore her stare by taking another bite and pulling out my phone to see if I had any notifications and what the time was. After a few moments she turned back to her own lunch, only for her to say something angrily under her breath. I followed her gaze to between our chairs where her wrap laid on the floor, its contents spilled out under our chairs. “Welp. I can get some napkins to help clean up,” I offered. “No,” Erik said firmly before I could bolt to the condiment bar. “My friend and I can manage this. You finish eating.” It took me a second to realize that his “friend” meant Ariel. “No, really, I don’t-” He held up a hand to silence me as he stood up. “Eat.” I did as he said and watched him leave. Ariel knelt down behind her chair. The top of her head came to my shoulder but her long hair still almost reached the lettuce covered floor. “Ken?” she asked. “Mm-hmm?” “How exactly do I… do this.” “Pick up your wrap?” “Yes.” “Just put it on your tray? Then you can just throw it all away in the garbage before we head out.” She smiled at me and started doing so. “And hey, if you want you can go get another wrap if you want. I don’t mind waiting for you to finish eating.” She shook her head no. “Nah. Like Erik said, we ate before we picked you up so I’m fine!” “Okay… Well then, let me know if you want me to help you pick this stuff up?” She shook her head again. “Then tell me if I need to move to another seat or get my legs out of the way?” “I will!” Erik came back a second later with two large handfuls of napkins. Not just like normal person large handfuls though; his huge fists were stuffed with them. He joined Ariel on the floor and I nervously watched them work, moving my legs around or holding them up out of the way as needed. She used her bare hands to grab all the larger chunks, while he used the napkins as make shift gloves to clean whatever she missed. When they were done he tried to give her the remainder of the napkins so she could wipe her hands off. But instead she either didn’t see or didn’t care and just rubbed them on her capris as she stood up. He sighed and used them himself before putting them on her tray with the rest of the garbage. I finished my sandwich right about then so I quickly rolled up its empty wrapper, grabbed my things and got up too. “There’s a garbage can over there,” I said and started walking towards it. I saw the grill cashier standing warily about 20 feet away from our table with a broom and dust pan. I wondered how long they’d been standing there as they waited for us to leave before making sure we’d fully cleaned up our mess. The can I went to had two others next to it. Erik went to the one on my right and just… threw the entire tray into the can. Like not just the remains of Ariel’s wrap and the napkins he used and the tray liner. He dropped the actual tray in. I stare at the can and then at him. He did the same to me. Then slowly he reached into the can, grabbed the tray, shook off anything still stuck to it, then reached past me and set it on top of the one I had put on the nice little shelf above the can that was meant for holding the used trays. I tried not to giggle as I gave him a thumbs up. He looked confused at the gesture but he did start to mirror it. Suddenly Ariel appeared on the other side of me and held my free hand in hers. She was definitely not as tall as her significant other, but her hand was still a good deal larger than mine. “So what animal do we want to see first!” she asked. I looked down at our clasped hands for a moment. Partially because I hadn’t expected it and didn’t really notice the difference in our hand sizes earlier, but also because I had to marvel at how long and nice her fingernails were? I played piano growing up so I couldn’t stand it if my nails went much past the ends of my fingers. I felt her grip loosen and she started to pull it away. “Sorry! Do not want to hold hands?” she asked with much more concern than the situation called for. “No! I mean yes! I mean-” I slid my hand back into place in her palm and held it. “I like holding hands.” She smiled brightly. “Okay!” Then at the same time she and I each offered our other hand to Erik. All three of us looked surprised by this. After a beat Erik hesitantly held his own hand out near mine. “I… like to hold hands too.” I carefully took it and he gently moved our hands to his side. “Do we want to start at the petting zoo?” he asked us with a stiff smile. “I promise not to yell at either of you if we do,” I said and hoped both of them could tell I was joking. Ariel laughed and started us towards the doors leading out into the zoo-proper. “I promise not to stick my fingers in any cages!” she said, giving my a light squeeze. “And I promise-” he paused mid-sentence with a thoughtful look on his face. “You should be Ken’s shade tree!” she supplied. “To keep them from getting too hot this time!” He hesitated in his current stride until I was slightly ahead of him and he was able to block the sun. “Yes, I promise to do that.” I rolled my eyes. “That was one time!” I pretended to protest. “And anyway it’s cooler today, and I made sure to wear light colored clothes, and I’m even wearing sunscreen!” “What’s sunscreen?” Ariel inquired. “It keeps the sun from burning me.” They pulled me to halt. They both looked at me as though they thought I was going to randomly burst into flames. These mini-crises were starting to get old. “You know… cuz my skin is so light? I get sun burnt really easy? Like I don’t tan? My skin just goes straight from ghost white to red if I’m out in the sun for too long…? And I guess you’ve never had a sun burn since your skin is so much darker than mine?” “Should we leave and come back on a day when it’s cloudy?” she asked with genuine concern for my safety. Erik took another step towards me as though he were trying to keep any sunlight from reaching me ever. “No! I’m  wearing sunscreen! And it’s the really good stuff too; it’s SPF 75!” The two literally started talking over my head at each other. Exasperated, I let go of their hands and started digging in my bag for my bottle of sunscreen. “Here, look!” I first shoved the bottle into Ariel’s face and then Erik’s. He took it from me and carefully began to read the front under his breath. She shuffled next to him to try to read it too. When they were done they exchanged a few more words before handing it back to me. “We believe you,” she said as I stowed the sunscreen away again. I sighed with relief. “I thought Erik said he was going to be my shade tree anyway.” I said with a forced giggle. I did not like confrontation one bit and we’d had more than enough for one day; probably two. “And I really want to see the sea otters!” “Yes, I did say that,” he said, a small genuine smile appearing. “Good, cuz you promised!” His smile quickly vanished and he looked dead serious. “I always keep my promises,” he said solemnly. “We both do.” Ariel sounded like she was somewhat offended. So much for no more confrontation! “No! Sorry! I was… just making a joke…” I stared at the ground. Despite the temperature and Erik being between me and the sun, I could feel myself getting warmer. “Oh… Oh! We’re sorry!” she said, sounding worried again. “We’re just not used to your kind of humor…” “Yeah…” I agreed. And then my anxiety kicked in and I suddenly felt like crying. What the fuck emotions. “Ken…!” She quickly cupped my hand in both of hers and then Erik did the same with my other one. I made myself take a slow, deep, somewhat shaky breath in… and then out. “Fuck… I’m sorry…” I whispered, still trying to focus and control my breathing. I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at them. “Sometimes my brain just overreacts and I’m fine. Just give me a sec…” They both let go of me, but I could tell from the—surprising amount of—heat radiating from their palms that they held them only a few inches away. I took a few more deep breaths before forcing a smile and opening my eyes. Both of them had bent down a little so their faces were closer to mine. I didn’t know if they were trying to make themselves look smaller or if they were trying to get a better look at me or what. “Okay,” I said, trying to reassure all of us that I really was fine. “Okay.” “Do you want to go to the sea otters first, Ken?” she asked softly. “No, we said we were going to the petting zoo first so let’s go to the petting zoo.” I bumped my hand into her hand that I’d been holding earlier. Thankfully she understood that I wanted to hold hands again and took it. She closed her eyes, smiled, and gave me a small squeeze before standing upright again. Then I turned to Erik, who was already standing straight and tall. I moved the hand by him closer to his own and tried to ask with my expression if he wanted to hold hands again too. He accepted my offer and even though I’d noticed that so far he seemed careful about any physical contact we had, his actions seemed even… more calculated? I smiled up at my two, new, large, friends and pulled them in the direction I thought we needed to go. “Ken…?” Erik said after only a couple of feet. “The petting zoo is this way.” And he gave me a gentle tug in his direction. I looked at the nearest directional and yup. He was right. I changed course. “To the petting zoo!” I said over-enthusiastically. Ariel laughed and Erik sighed as we made our way down the path.

[baronessblixen]

Let it Snow

This is pure fluff. Got long so you get a read more. 

Day 4 for the @thexmasfileschallenge. Also Tagging @today-in-fic

Snow.

As a young girl, Scully had loved snow. Growing up in San Diego and other navy bases that saw little to no snow, she had reveled in it whenever she had the chance. She had learned about snowflakes, about their uniqueness. Her first winter on the east coast, a nasty, bitterly cold and dark season, she'd walked through the new, freshly fallen snow listening to every crunch under her feet, reveling in the unknown feeling of it. Melissa, a loud smile on her face, had persuaded her little sister to catch the snowflakes, take them with them. Though Scully had known it was impossible, the ice melting on her fingers and on her tongue when she'd dared to catch them that way, a few first illicit kisses, she had never stopped trying. As the years went by and she grew older, the novelty wore off, but she never lost her love for it. Until Antarctica.

Scully shivered the moment she noticed the orange gleam in the sky and the way the clouds hung heavy in the sky. The cold seeped through her tightly buttoned winter coat, slashed against her skin as Mulder stopped for gas and she decided to stretch her legs. Home, she marveled, staring at the sky with longing, was far, far away. 

"We should hurry," Mulder told her as he walked back to their car handing her a chocolate bar she hadn't asked for (but badly wanted), "there's a snowstorm coming." Just what we need, she thought, biting into the soft, sweet chocolate just as the first few snowflakes started to fall, covering their hair and coats.

Two hours later, their windshield wipers raced back and forth in an attempt to free the windshield of the relentlessly falling snow. It was no use.

"Mulder." Scully's voice was as tense as Mulder looked. He merely nodded in agreement. They needed to find shelter and soon. The snow made it difficult to see anything outside but a few minutes later Scully thought she saw colorful, blinking lights. She hoped it was a hotel. Right now it didn't matter how sleazy it was. They just needed to get off the road. Mulder set the blinker and parked their car. 

"A B&B." He said, surprised. Neither of them was looking forward to getting out of the car. They shared a look, a nod and then got out at the same time. Mulder could have run ahead, but he took her hand instead, helped her balance herself in the deep snow. Definitely not the right weather to be wearing high heels, she thought as the cold wetness engulfed her ankles.

"Should I carry you?" Mulder joked but they just kept going until finally, they stepped through the heavy door. Warm, vanilla-scented air hit their faces as the door fell close behind them.

"Welcome." An old lady sitting behind the counter greeted them, waving them over. "You poor souls. The weather is bad outside, isn't it? How can I help you?"

"Do you have two rooms for the night?" Mulder asked her shaking his head like a dog to get rid of the snow. The lady pushed a plate full of cookies towards them and Scully couldn't help but notice the look of disappointment on the woman's face.

"No, my dear. All we've got left is one room," she regarded them curiously, touching her glasses, "you know, I may be old, but I am not old-fashioned. You two lovebirds share the room." She winked at them.

"We're not-" Mulder started, but Scully put her hand on his arm. Better one room than none at all, she told him with her eyes. She'd rather share a bed with him than die on the road together just because they tried clinging to an irrational sense of professionalism. 

"We need to get our things from the car." Scully finished when the old lady threw them a confused look. 

"I'll get them." Mulder offered and disappeared back into the cold. 

"Have a cookie, dear." Scully wanted to politely decline, but the huge eyes were glaring at her, waiting and expecting so she took one and bit into it. She tasted hints of vanilla and honey and wondered if she should eat another one when Mulder returned with their overnight bags.

"I'll show you your room. My name is Clara, by the way." 

"The kitchen is closed for the night, but I could maybe fix you something simple."

"No, thank you," Mulder said and Scully nodded, too, "we already ate. We're probably just going to take a shower and go to bed." A moment later Mulder's face was as red as the room's drapes. "I didn't mean it like that." He added looking at Scully as a way of apologizing. She couldn't hide her small smile.

"You two are adorable." Clara snickered. "I will be going home now," at Mulder' shocked glance she let out a laugh and took his hand as if he were a small boy, "it's right next to this house, silly. I've been living here longer than you are alive. I hope you enjoy your stay. If you're not too tired," another wink from her and now both Mulder and Scully's complexion matched the drapes, "there is a fireplace downstairs and a piano. Just make yourself feel at home." With that she left them alone. 

"A fireplace," Mulder grinned as he tested the mattress. It was a King size and Scully breathed a sigh of relief. "Wanna check it out, Scully?"

"I need to change out of these clothes first and then I'm all yours." Mulder turned to her and Scully blushed even more. It must be this place, she thought, before she took her overnight bag into the bathroom.

"Ready to go, Mulder?" Scully asked 15 minutes later freshly showered and wearing comfortable clothes. Mulder, dressed in jeans and a shirt himself, looked her up and down, swallowed hard, and then nodded.

"We should call Skinner," Scully wondered out loud as they left their room, "tell him we didn't make our flight."

"How about we deal with that tomorrow?" Mulder asked. "Let's just... this is a nice place, isn't it?" His eyes found hers and they were as warm as everything else in this cozy, dreamy place. He waited for her reaction so she nodded.

"Let's just enjoy this. Let's not think about Skinner or work. I just want to... spend this evening with you. How does that sound?" Scully grabbed his hand and stared deep into his eyes. Mulder's Adam's apple bobbed nervously as he swallowed uncertain about her intentions. "Scully?" He asked carefully.

"Mulder, what song did I sing to you when you got us lost in that forest during the mothman case?" His eyes grew wide.

"First of all, it was not my fault," Scully gave him an eyebrow, waiting, "and second of all, is this a quiz? I'm an excellent student, Scully. You were singing Joy to the World."

"Good." But she didn't let go of his hand as they continued to walk.

"Why did you ask?"

"I wanted to make sure it's really you this time."

The lounge was aflame with the crackling light from the small fireplace. Scully felt the heat surround her; she swore she could taste it. She was still holding Mulder's hand as she walked inside. The room was decorated in soft, gentle colors; red mingled with green, a few touches of pink and violet gave it its own flavor. There was a fluffy sofa in front of the fireplace and it reminded Scully of when she'd almost done something like this with Mulder before. Only he hadn't been Mulder. She shuddered with the memory, adamant about making new ones tonight. Through the window she saw the snow falling still. She smiled feeling safe inside this house. 

"I wish I knew how to play." Scully said as she let her fingers wander of the glittering blackness of the piano.

"I do." Surprised by his admission, she let go of his hand.

"You do?" Mulder nodded and sat down on the small bench. Scully watched as he opened the lid and his fingers settled on the keys, not yet pressing down. 

"Why haven't you told me?" 

"It never came up." He shrugged. "I haven't played in ages. Ever since..." He pressed down on a key, a deep, angry tone. Scully filled the gap herself; ever since Samantha had disappeared. She pushed at Mulder and he scooted over so they could share the space. It was a tight fit and their thighs were pressed together, but it was comfortable. Scully stared at his beautiful long, lean fingers. She should have known. 

"Did you want to play the piano?"

"Oh no. It was my mom's idea. She made me take lessons after Samantha was born. I hated it. I mostly played for Samantha and when she was no longer there... I just stopped. My parents never said anything." 

"I'm so sorry, Mulder." He shook it off, smiled as he lost himself in a memory.

"Her favorite was Für Elise. I played it so often for her that she started calling it Für Samantha. I never liked it, but I loved playing it for her. She never had the patience to learn to play herself." He pressed a few keys and Scully recognized Beethoven's famous composition.

"Do you have a favorite, Scully?" Mulder directed his eyes at her. Her heart went out to him, to the boy who lost his sister, to the man who seemed lost himself. Without thinking about it, she touched his cheek, felt the first tingles of his stubble, but mostly his warmth.

"What's your favorite, Mulder?" She whispered. He just stared at her as if her eyes contained the notes for a piece he was just learning how to play. His eyes still on her, his fingers began to dance over the keys. Soft, familiar sounds filled the room, but Scully couldn't tell what it was, not when Mulder was looking at her like that.

"Beethoven's moonlight sonata. Samantha thought it was too sad and she always fled the room when I played it. But it reminds me of you. Well, us."

"Us? You think we're sad?" He smiled at her and missed a note. 

"No," he told her, his eyes following the movement of his hands, "but it's powerful. There are no words to describe it. Yes, there is a sense of sadness, but listen," he played on effortlessly as if he'd done nothing else these last few years, "it's almost like a dream. To me it always sounded as if someone lost was being found again. That's why it reminds me of us." Scully let the music carry her away, felt every note settle on her heart and soul much like the snow settled on the ground outside. She put her hand on Mulder's and the music ebbed away. He gave her a lopsided grin looking younger and more carefree than she'd ever known him. 

"We did find each other." Scully whispered before her lips found his. She was reminded of the girl she used to be trying to catch snowflakes in her mouth. They'd always melted away. As Mulder's mouth opened under hers and she got her first real taste of him, she knew she'd found what she'd always been looking for.  

[dipulb3]

The 2021 Polestar 2 is a truly cool EV

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/the-2021-polestar-2-is-a-truly-cool-ev-2/

The 2021 Polestar 2 is a truly cool EV

The Polestar 2 is one of the coolest EVs on sale.

Daniel Golson/Roadshow

Most new EVs either look too normal to stand out or too strange to entice regular consumers, but the Polestar 2 perfectly lands in that middle ground. To my eyes, this is one of the first truly cool EVs — at least in terms of more affordable cars. And when it comes to new segments and emerging tech, sometimes being cool is the most important thing.

Like

Fantastic stying inside and out

Super quick and fun to drive

Great Google infotainment system

Don’t Like

Less range than Tesla

Only comes in one expensive configuration

Limited servicing network

A real crowd pleaser

I live in Los Angeles, where hybrids and EVs are common — basically every other car you see is a Tesla.  But the Polestar really grabs peoples’ attention. Chalk some of that up to it being new and some of it to its lack of badging — either way, most people just don’t know the hell it is. They just know it’s something new and cool, and want to learn more about it.

It’s hard to categorize the Polestar 2. At first glance it looks like a traditional sedan, but it’s got a fastback rear end with a hatch instead of a trunk. The Polestar has a higher ride height than most sedans (it’s an inch taller than a BMW 3 Series but more than 4 inches shorter in length) and SUV-like body cladding, making it a bit of a pseudo-crossover. However you classify it, the Polestar 2 is an extremely handsome car, with minimal body surfacing and great proportions.

It’s obvious the Polestar 2 was originally designed to be a Volvo, but that’s not a bad thing. Still, lots of little details set it apart from other Volvos, like the blocky patterned grille and full-width LED taillight strip. The only badges on the car are body-color Polestar logos on the hood and trunk, as well as subtle stickers on the front doors that denote the model name, battery pack size and power output.

The Volvo influence is obvious in the 2’s interior, but Polestar’s designers really turned the specialness up a notch or two. My test car has the Slate color scheme, which features vegan WeaveTech surfaces that feel like a high-end windbreaker and black ash wood trim. There’s a good amount of head- and legroom for front and rear passengers and the cabin feels airy thanks to the huge standard panoramic sunroof. I wish there was a sunshade for the roof, though, as direct sunlight can still be annoying despite the tinted glass. Another major downside is a lack of storage up front, with only one usable cupholder in the center console (there’s another under the center armrest) and fairly small door pockets. Still, the overall vibe is very Swedish high-end furniture/audio store and it genuinely feels premium.

The Polestar’s Google-based infotainment system is one of our favorites.

Daniel Golson/Roadshow

OK, Google, you rule

The Polestar 2 is the first production car to use Google’s Android Automotive infotainment tech and even for a staunch iPhone user like myself I think it’s easily one of the best systems on the market. (Don’t worry, Apple CarPlay functionality is coming and I don’t even miss it during my time with the car.) The system looks fantastic and the 11-inch screen is super quick and snappy, plus it’s easy to log into my Google account via QR code and download apps like Spotify from the Google Play store. There aren’t too many apps yet and missing ones include Audible and some major podcast platforms, but they’re coming. The Google Assistant voice commands work well too and it can even control things like the seat heaters. The only physical controls are a volume knob and buttons for the heated windshield and rear window, meaning even climate controls are accessed through the screen, but that’s easy to get used to.

The best part of the Android system is that Google Maps is the native navigation. I typically gravitate towards using Google Maps through CarPlay over any built-in nav and it looks even sharper on the Polestar’s display — there’s even a nearly full-screen view for Maps in the 12.3-inch digital gauge cluster. The Google tech has some nice EV-specific features, like showing the estimated range and charge you’ll have at the end of a set journey and providing an info-filled list of charging stations. I do wish you could see a satellite map view, though. 

Shirking the EV norms

For now, every Polestar 2 comes the same way; there’s one battery pack size and one motor configuration. There’s an electric motor at each axle for a combined output of 408 horsepower and 487 pound-feet of torque, with all-wheel drive as standard. With a 0-to-60-mph time of 4.5 seconds the Polestar 2 is damn quick. Launches push you back in your seat and the performance doesn’t seem to fade after multiple goes. There’s no sport mode or adjustable power setting, so you’ve always got the full amount of torque no matter what. I do like that you can turn the idle creep function on and off, too — I prefer to leave it off like a brake hold feature.

There are three settings for the steering, the firmest of which is my favorite. It’s really nicely weighted, direct and actually offers a good amount of feedback, which is not the norm for EVs. The Polestar’s chassis is great too and the car feels a lot more nimble than its nearly 5,000-pound weight suggests. An ESC Sport mode reduces the intervention of the stability control, but it doesn’t make a massive difference in the dry. Overall, the Polestar 2 is just as fun to drive in the twisties as it is around town. Impressive.

That subtle styling packs a major punch.

Daniel Golson/Roadshow

But the best part of the Polestar 2 isn’t how it launches or how it corners, it’s how it stops. The 2 has a regenerative braking system that affords true one-pedal driving and once you’ve experienced an EV with a good one-pedal system, it’s hard to go back to anything else. The Polestar lets you select between having the regen fully off, having it in a low setting that won’t bring the car to a complete stop, or keeping it in the standard mode. Keeping the Polestar in the standard mode the whole time, I maybe touch the brake pedal half a dozen times over the course of a week of testing. Even during a very spirited drive on some canyon roads, the regen is so strong and easy to regulate that I never have to tap the brakes.

You can add a $5,000 performance package, but honestly, I wouldn’t. While I love the design of the 20-inch wheels and the gold seatbelts, the Polestar 2’s regenerative braking makes the performance pack’s upgraded front Brembo brakes unnecessary. And as cool as the manually adjustable Öhlins dampers might seem, they’re annoying to adjust and make the car ride worse than with the standard setup. Plus, if you really want bigger wheels, a set of 20-inchers with a sweet 4-spoke design is available for $1,200.

Standard active-safety features include Volvo’s Pilot Assist system (adaptive cruise control with steering assist), automated emergency braking, blind-spot monitoring, rear cross-traffic assist, lane-departure warning, lane-keeping assist, a 360-degree camera and parking sensors. Every Polestar 2 also comes with heated front and rear seats, a heated steering wheel, heated windshield wipers, active LED headlights, a Harman Kardon sound system, ambient interior lighting and a wireless phone charger.

The Polestar 2’s interior reminds me of high-end furniture.

Daniel Golson/Roadshow

Let’s talk about range

The EPA says the Polestar 2 has a range of 233 miles per charge and while I never fully charge or fully deplete the battery pack, the car’s estimated range readout seems accurate if not a little conservative. It only gives the range in 5-mile increments, which I think is fine — I’m never going to get close enough to empty for a super-precise readout to really matter anyway. The Polestar’s range is way more enough for me and it certainly is enough for the majority of consumers, especially those with short commutes. But I wouldn’t hesitate to take it on a long highway trip that would require charging; Polestar says the 2 can gain an 80% charge in just 40 minutes on a 150-kilowatt DC fast charger.

There’s a lot of public charging in Los Angeles, but nearly every time I charged it was at the same location close to my apartment, so I didn’t have to deal with a lot of searching for stations that aren’t either broken or occupied. (There was a massive puddle of oil on the ground next to my parking spot the first time I charged, go figure.) While Polestar has no fast-charging network of its own like Tesla, you can charge it up at third-party stations like those from Electrify America and EVgo. Polestar also recently announced a partnership with ChargePoint in which the companies will launch an in-car app and expand access to all of ChargePoint’s 130,000 chargers.

Rejoice! It’s a hatchback!

Daniel Golson/Roadshow

One configuration fits all

The Polestar 2 starts at $61,200 including destination, but before any incentives. It’s eligible for a federal $7,500 tax credit, which brings the price down to $52,400. With $1,200 Snow paint and the $5,000 performance pack, my test car is $67,400. The only option left on the table is the $4,000 ventilated leather interior that would bring the price to $71,400. So yeah, the Polestar is quite pricey, even among other premium EVs. (Cheaper models with fewer standard features will eventually arrive, though no details have been announced yet.)

The easiest comparison to draw is with the Tesla Model 3, as it’s the only other premium electric sedan in the same size class as the Polestar. The all-wheel-drive Long Range Model 3 starts at $46,690 before any incentives and offers slightly quicker acceleration and a much longer range (353 miles). Then there’s the $54,690 Model 3 Performance, which has a 315-mile range and will hit 60 mph a full second quicker than the Polestar. In terms of performance and value for money, the Model 3 creams the Polestar 2.

I don’t want the Tesla, though. The Polestar 2 is more enjoyable to drive, better to look at and way nicer inside, plus I prefer its tech and the hatchback rear end. And most importantly (at least to me), the Polestar is just more interesting. Even if Teslas weren’t so common where I live, I’d still want to be seen in the Polestar. Driving it feels like I’m at the cutting edge of the industry.

The Polestar 2 is currently available to order online, with test drives, delivery and servicing handled by the brand’s Spaces showrooms. As of right now there are only a few, mostly in California with one in Denver and another in New York City. But Polestar promises that 15 more showrooms will open by the end of 2021 in places like Boston, Seattle, Detroit and Miami. If you’re interested in a premium electric car and have a Polestar Space near you, I highly recommend checking it out. You might end up the coolest person in your neighborhood.

[taegdcl1018]

Rain - Suga

Summary: “The rain began again. It fell heavily, easily, with no meaning or intention but the fulfillment of its own nature which is to fall and fall.” ~ Helen Garner

Genre: Angsty Fluff

Warnings: Feels??

Masterlist

A/N: So like thirty minutes after I posted 3BD I realized that it was raining outside, so I grabbed my shit and fucking RAN towards my garage so I could start writing and this is what happened. Idk I just love the rain. I hope you like it. Honestly, this is more for writing style than actual plot. I hope you like it. I love and need feedback, so tell me what you think.

~ Admin Brooklyn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat there waiting for him. It was a hard fight on both you, but only Yoongi had the guts to leave. Honestly, you couldn’t blame him, after all the things you both said to each other. The hurtful curse words and the ugly truths you both sneered at. You were scared though, so you sat and waited. Wanting him to come back.

The rain was heavy but not terribly violent. The constant pitter-patter of the rain had become a calming noise. The smell of clean, fresh air was one that you adored and had also proved to help you wait patiently. You sat on your front porch, your roof covering and protecting you from the weather.

With your legs crossed and a small light blanket to keep you warm from the cool breeze, you waited patiently. You watched as headlights passed you by. The sound of the tires rolling in the water becoming louder as they approached and quieter as they left.

After about five cars you saw a slight flash in the sky. You looked up, waiting for the thunder to appear. After waiting for a few seconds with no reply, you look back towards the empty road. About half a minute later you heard and felt the thunder. It echoed towards you, the deep sound reaching through you and touching your heart. You felt the vibrations on the ground, feeling it shake even you. The sound was deep but hushed. It wasn’t frightening, in fact, it was actually endearing.

Minutes had passed, and with each small flash in the sky, you began to anticipate the deep rumble that echoed towards and through you. As you waited, you counted cars. Watching as they pass, windshield wipers running across the glass as they pass. The tires pushed the water out of its puddle so it can pass through. Just as soon as the water left its puddle, it’d seep back into its shape, waiting for another car to break it again.

By the fiftieth car, you had begun to worry. It had been a while since Yoongi left, and you worried about his safety. You watched as the weather slowly stopped. The rain coming to a slow halt leaving a little drizzle in its wake before slowly leaving the scene. You were left sitting on your front porch, you blanket tightly huddled around your shoulders. You waited, letting the light cool wind embrace you before slowly passing you by. You took a deep breath letting the clean scent fill your nose, calming your nerves once again.

You close your eyes and let the environment calm you down. You hear a car coming, dismissing it as you hear the noise approach the house. Although, instead of the noise receding like it was supposed to as it passed the house, it got louder. You open your eyes, seeing a car pull up in the driveway.

Slowly yet surely, the rain starts to fall. Starting out the same way it left. Little droplets hit the ground, starting out as slow as a snail before starting to escalate in its pace. Your mouth opens a little as you watch the driver park the car and turn off the engine, silencing the car. The driver door was pushed open, Yoongi stepping out of the car. Your eyes met for a split second before you looked down, watching a small puddle make ripples in its pond as droplets fell.

You hear him shut the door, followed by the sound of footsteps. You look up from the puddle watching as he walks towards you, his head slightly bent down as the rain increases. Your grip on your blanket tightens as he approaches. You stand up and back towards the front door, giving him space on your dry island. He steps onto your front porch and stands in front of you.

Silence fills between you. You look up at him, and he looks down at you. You open your mouth to say something but close it as another car passes by. You watch his hands as he shoves them into his front pockets, his shoulders raising slightly before relaxing. “How long have you been out here?” He asked.

“About ten minutes after you left,” you replied quietly. The rain gets heavier. The calming sound once again easing your nerves. He frowns at you slightly.

“Aren’t you cold?” You shake your head in response. You look up at him. “I like when it rains,” you reply simply. “It’s…”

“Soothing,” Yoongi finishes. You smile lightly, looking towards the tiny puddle that had increased in size. The cool wind brushes by you, lightly tossing your hair towards the side of your face. He stares at you for a second. “I’m sorry,” he says.

You turn back towards him. “I’m sorry too,” you say back. “I said some stupid things.”

“So did I,” he replied. Another light breeze pushed past you, hitting Yoongi’s back. Your hair blowing out of your face, a few strands wrapping across the front of your neck. “I didn’t mean it,” he added. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s okay,” you say. A slight smile formed on your face. “I’m sorry too.”

“I don’t mean to hurt you,” he repeated. You smile at him, stepping closer to him. You lean your head on his chest. His hands slip out of his pockets and easily wraps around you, holding you against him. “I know,” you say quietly. You pull yourself back slightly, his arms still wrapped around you.

“I love you,” you say. He smiles down at you.

“I love you too.” You smile at his response. He lowers his head and leans in for a kiss, which you gladly respond too. The rain echoes around you, the only sound that could be heard as the cool wind blows past you. You pull away, needing the sweet taste of air. Yoongi smiles down at you, and lightly kisses your nose.

“I hate it when we fight,” you say. He hums in response.

“I do too,”

[zecretsanta]

sudden loss of air, impressions in despair

To:  @chainek (galagaleeny)

From: @nursedianaklim  

Tried to fulfill all the prompts… might have gotten a bit too ambitious, but I wanted to fulfill your whole list.

Ao3

“Junpei!”

“How was I supposed to know it was on?  Why would a store have a blender plugged in?  It’s not like people come in here to try them out.”

He took her hand and it sent shivers up her spine, for the umpteenth time.  The other customers were still staring at them, some chuckling with amusement, others frowning in disapproval at the ruckus they had created.  But Junpei was right – it didn’t make sense for Williams Sonoma to have blenders plugged in right on the display so people could turn them on.  He had been so startled by the noise that he fumbled in trying to press the off button and knocked it to the floor.  Luckily it didn’t seem broken, and nobody was demanding they cough up the $899.99 for the Vitamix Professional Series 1020 Blender.

“Do we really need any of this stuff, though?” he asked as they moved into specialty electronics.  Akane ran her fingers over the cool metal of a Zojirushi Rice Cooker – on sale for $449.99 – and it brought up a brief flash of memory.  Aoi said their mother never used rice cookers; always on the stove.  She thought she could recall watching her stir it, wooden spoon in a big red pot.

They had only ever used rice cookers in the institution they had lived in, after.  Good people, but too many abandoned and orphaned and lost children and not enough adults to provide for all their needs.  Even before Aoi had officially become her legal guardian, he had watched over her and kept her safe.  Made sure she got up for school, did her homework, ate healthily, and slept peacefully.

“You okay?”

She met his concerned eyes and nodded.  Junpei didn’t look convinced, but eventually shifted his gaze to the appliances just ahead.  “Four hundred dollars for a toaster?”

“Probably for people with big families or who entertain.”  She could imagine the two of them having friends over.  Their wedding rings clinking against the plates as they brought tempura out for dinner.  Sneaking secret smiles at each other as Light or Aoi or Sigma or Phi chattered on about their new lives, before they moved into the living room.  The house she and Aoi had rented when they were doing research in Washington had a fireplace, and she loved the idea of sitting with Junpei around the hearth.

There were times back in the institution when the space heaters would run out of kerosene, so Aoi would take her and their blankets down to the laundry room.  They would bundle up with the warm sheets until they went cool, then swap them out with hot ones fresh from the industrial-sized dryer, so they could get through the cold nights.

“I could buy four toasters for sixty bucks at the Family Dollar and I bet they work just as well,” he scoffed.  “I can’t ask our friends to buy something like that.  Besides, you and Aoi have a ton of money.”

Akane could feel her face morphing into a mirror of Junpei’s frown.  “We won’t list only expensive items.  But … this is about creating our own home.”

“They have a wine club?”

Although she had seen signs for it before, but couldn’t remember sommeliers ever being present in the store for wine tastings.  He sauntered over to where a smiling blonde was offering him some merlot.

“Should you really be drinking?”

He knocked back the wine and tossed the glass behind him.  “Of course I should be.  I need something to forget everything you’ve done to me.”

“J-J-Junpei?”

More wine, another glass.  This time, he glared at her as he threw it to the ground.  “You ruined my life, Kanny.  Why would I ever want to marry you?”

“This is a dream, isn’t it?”  

The lights dimmed until she could barely see his face.  He took her hand again, but without the gentleness of before.  “We’re both in the field.  I’ll remember this, too.  Another disapp-”

She woke, but kept her eyes closed; as she wasn’t entirely disengaged, she could still feel his phantom touch on her skin.  She could smell him, although his usual comforting scent was tinged with the stench of beer.

Aoi’s frustrated grunts and rapid key-tapping told her he was still awake and something was happening with the market.  The TSE, probably, at this time of night.  Unless she had slept for longer than she thought.

When she had shaken off the last bit of Junpei’s mind, Akane opened her eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness.  The only source of light was his laptop, which he had dimmed and angled away.  

That’s not our future, she assured herself.  That’s not his future.  I’m going to make sure of it.   

* * *

She might have been dislocating Clover’s shoulder, but better that than her being dead.  Alice yanked, roughly, ignoring the other woman’s screaming.  She would break her arm, rip it off, do whatever she had to do to get Clover back on this side of the cliff.  She knew her pants were ruined, that her knees would be bruised and bloody.

“I’m going to kill him,” Clover roared as she finally made it back up onto firm ground.

“Not if I get to him first.”  

Even once they were both safely away from the edge, Alice held on tight to Clover, ignoring the wind and the rain.  When they both started to shiver, she got them to their feet and headed north, keeping a firm grip on Clover’s hand.  They were easily a good mile from their car.  Clover’s gun was somewhere at the bottom of that ravine; Alice was out of bullets and had lost her spare clip.

“Don’t you ever run off like that again.”  Because of the weather, she had to yell back at Clover to make sure she was heard.

“He was getting away.”

“He got away regardless!”

“But you said he might have information on your father.  I couldn’t let him get away!”

That got Alice to stop in her march back to the car.  She thought Clover had gone after Bozeman to get revenge for him kicking her in the face.  A raindrop splashed into her eye and when she wiped it away, she felt the false lashes come off.

“You don’t do something like that again, you understand?!”  There was a volume and an edge to her voice that had nothing to do with being heard over the pounding rain.  Clover didn’t respond, or more accurately, probably grumbled something under her breath that Alice couldn’t make out.  

After what felt like a million years, they made it back to the car.  She had to dry off both the sensor and her thumb twice before the door would unlock.  The leather seats felt horrible against her soaked clothing and skin.  As soon as Alice hit the ignition, Clover pressed the radio presets in the order that would turn off the internal camera – activated automatically by weight in the seats – and surprised her by grabbing her head and kissing her, hard.  Their cold and trembling lips slid against each other for only a moment before Alice pulled away.

“What did I say?  Not in the field.”

“Nobody can see us.”  How Clover could manage to look like she was pouting and glaring at the same time, she’d never know.  She gestured angrily at the rain slanting heavily against the windshield, obscuring the outside world.  “And you saw me shut down the camera.”

“Not at work.  We agreed.”  

Alice’s hands shook as she set the heat as high as it would go.  Clover grabbed the first aid kit from under her seat and then slumped back against the lumbar support.  She treated her scrapes as Alice drove as quickly as she dared.

“We have to be careful,” Alice said finally, when she felt her voice wouldn’t waver.

“I know.”

“They would split us up if they knew.  We could even get fired.  Fraternization is forbidden.”

“I know.”

“I can’t lose … my chance to find who killed my father.”

Although she could feel Clover staring at her, she stayed focused on the road.  The rhythmic swishing of the wipers was the only sound for the longest time.

“I know.”  Softer, this time.  “I understand.”

Not everything had to be spelled out explicitly.

* * *

“It’s just me!” she called out as she stepped inside, swiftly moving to the alarm keypad.  Diana’s car had been in the garage, so Rebecca knew she was here, but when she didn’t get an immediate response, she started to worry.  Diana’s purse and keys were still on the table in the hall – right next to pepper spray and a panic button – and she could smell the chicken fettuccine in the slow cooker.

“Diana?”

No response from upstairs.  Down the hall, the back door was open, but she tried not to jump to conclusions.  And sure enough, Diana was safe and sound, kneeling in the dirt, tending to the poor, neglected flowers there.  Gardening was one of those skills that Rebecca wanted to have, but didn’t seem capable of learning.  Even talking to the plants – as Diana had suggested, as she was doing to them right now – only seemed to encourage them to commit suicide.

“You’re home early,” she said when she glanced up to see Rebecca.

“The meeting didn’t take quite as long as we thought.  Simmons didn’t try to fight it.  Turned in his keys and cleaned out his locker in silence.”

“Oh, good.”  Diana gave her an almost-smile.  She missed seeing the real ones, the bright, beautiful, beaming ones brought on by an adorable puppy or a happy child or a patient making it safely through their trip to the ER.  The ones that started to appear less frequently after their marriage and had mostly disappeared, nowadays.

“Are these new?”  There were bright purple flowers in her garden, leaning over as if they planned to eat her.  The bottom part of it even looked like a tongue on the inside.

“They’re called ‘fairy slippers’.  It’s uncommon that they’d be blooming this early.  Or at least, that’s what the woman at the nursery told me.”  Diana ran a finger over one of the one of the petals.

“You’ll have to stop by more often to make sure I don’t kill it.”

The almost-smile faded completely away and Rebecca felt like someone had injected ice water in her veins.  It was silly, stupid.  She was the one who saw the ad.  She was the one who brought it to Diana’s attention.  She was the one who kept asking her to consider it.  She wanted Diana to do it.

“You’ve decided, then?”

Diana nodded, stood up and dusted the dirt off her pants.  She tossed the gardening gloves in the bucket and headed towards the house, her hand brushing Rebecca’s as she passed by.

It was the best decision for Diana to make.  She knew that.  The money would give her the freedom to go anywhere.  Get away from him.  No more threats left on her voicemail, no more nasty messages keyed into her car.  No more making sure every new security guard they hired could recognize her ex-husband on sight.

But it meant once this Mars simulation was over, there was a chance the last time Rebecca would see Diana was when she came back to pack up her stuff and move far, far away.  And if that happened, all she would want to do is pack up her own life and follow her, even if that ended up being actually to Mars.

“It does something called ‘pollination by deception.’”  Diana was paused in the doorway and Rebecca realized she had been staring at the new flowers.

“Hmm?”

“It pretends it has nectar, to get bees to come in and pick up the pollen.  The bees visit but get nothing in return.  So they learn to stop visiting.  Or at least, the smart bees do.”

“Diana…”

A sad smile, this time.  “I know.  I’m not … I’m not.  I’m going to check on dinner.”

Rebecca tried to swallow the lump in her throat as she wiped away an escaped tear.  As much as she didn’t want to lose her best friend, Diana couldn’t go on living like this.  The money would give her freedom and security.

And no matter how much special fertilizer or garden tools she had to buy, no matter how many YouTube tutorials she had to watch or special classes she had to attend, she would make sure Diana’s fairy slippers thrived.

* * *

“Are you seriously saying you think Matiyasevich was wrong?”

Aureline paused, halfway through removing Phi’s shirt.  “Uh, you want to argue about this now?”

“The theorem has been around for fifty-eight years, and you’re saying there’s a flaw in the logic?”

“Right now, I’m saying fuck Diophantine equations.”  She resumed her task and chucked Phi’s tank top behind her before pushing her back on the couch.

Phi seemed to let herself get lost at first when Aureline kissed a path down from her nose to her collarbone.  This fantasy had played out in her mind more than once since she had noticed the cute girl with the platinum hair in the back row in Mathematical Methods in Nanophotonics.  Now they were here, after dinner and a Nonlinear Optics lecture, on Phi’s couch, half-naked and –

“But all Diophantine sets are effectively enumerable –”

– she couldn’t stop talking about an off-handed comment Aureline had made on the way back to the apartment.

“I’m not saying the conclusion is wrong,” she replied, sliding her hands up Phi’s legs, underneath the turquoise and black skirt.  “I’m saying the way he got there has errors.”

“So you think you’re smarter than … than …”  

Pushing aside her underwear and slipping a finger into Phi seemed to be pretty effective at derailing her train of thought.  Aureline planted sloppy kisses on her knees, her thighs, until the unmistakable sound of a crash outside startled her into raising her head.

“Oh god, that sounds bad,” she said as she hopped up and went to the window.  Not caring about her bare chest or who might see, she pushed aside the blackout curtains.  It looked like an SUV had plowed into three parked cars.

“What happened?” Phi asked.  She had put back on her tank tops before joining her to survey the scene.

“Shit.  I think someone hit my Mazda.”  Aureline bolted for the door, stopping only when she remembered she was naked from the waist up.  The first garment she snatched up was Phi’s sleeveless, pale blue jacket, and she tossed it aside in frustration, accidentally hitting the other woman in the face.

“Hey!”

“I’m sorry, I just … fuck!  I have to get down there before he drives off.”  Finally locating her shirt, she pulled it over her head, realizing that it was inside out and backwards but not having the patience to fix it.

“Even if he does, there are cameras covering the outside of the building and the parking lot,” Phi assured her as straightened her necklace and grabbed her boots.  “But go, I’ll be down as soon as I get these on.”

For some reason, Aureline glanced back into the apartment before she shut the door.  The black flower in Phi’s hair had come loose and she was pinning it back up.

-

It wasn’t until after she had exchanged insurance information with the driver – a Japanese exchange student who wasn’t drunk, but had apparently had a seizure – and surveyed the not-as-bad-as-she-thought damage to her car that Aureline realized Phi had never come down.  She should have been almost right behind her; all she had to do was throw on those ridiculously tall boots of hers.

Confused and a little angry, she skipped the elevator and dashed up three flights of stairs to apartment #306.  The door was cracked, even though she was sure she had pulled it closed.  When she pushed it open, white smoke escaped and she stepped back, expecting to see a fire.  But it didn’t smell like something was burning – more chemical, like a hospital.

She tugged her sleeve over her hand and covered her nose and mouth, but it was too late; she could feel herself start go get woozy.  Time felt like it slowed as she tipped forward and hit the floor.

A black figure moved past her and she tried to reach out and grab its leg before succumbing to darkness.

(fin.)