#I could do a whole other one of these for other fandoms actually.....
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firelightmlpoc · 2 days ago
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This is Pansear (if you want proof, look at my pinned blog; I'm well aware that there are a lot of imposters out there). I wish to say thank you for being open minded while also acknowledging that- yes- I did fuck up at times. I didn't treat Azriel the best. I was selfish towards the MAP collaborators. I wasn't a particularly great person in general- all that I admit, and I have my own separate posts for those. Overall, I'm sorry.
The harassment was too much and the screenshots were obviously fake. It wasn't fair to me. It wasn't fair to anyone either including those who believed were fake too, even to future potential victims of allegations and former victims of harassment campaigns. I left not in admittance of guilt, but to everything else that has boiled over (again, I detailed this in a post).
I know there's people beaming to know that I'm alive and well (and of course, people who are angry that I'm not). I just want to say that I'm sorry for having to leave everyone in the dark for so long, and that I was basically a POS back then.
It saddens me as well that this whole situation not only affected me- it has affected most of the fandom. It has affected the other artists, who no longer feel safe and comfortable. It has affected my friends, who missed me and feel lost in the dark. It has affected my fans, who worry about me and feel so conflicted about everything. It has affected friend groups who are distanced in their conflicts.
Even for the things I didn't do, I still felt horrible. There were no winners in the end, and any winner I could describe are those vile people hiding behind anons who have hurt the most.
People can already predict that I will never return and that is definitely the case. Not just for the sake of my well-being, but I believe it's for the best for everyone in general. It's been far too long that I danced through the harsh weathers- some strange fucked up game of ping pong, and it's time to put it to rest. I don't care if people will hate me still, all I care about is everyones' safety and for those who have been hurt to heal from this.
I have no real say on the Emily side of things. Indeed what she did to Azriel was irresponsible, but she doesn't deserve the harm and harassment she's got and been getting. Nobody does. Not even my calloutters and my harassers. Looking at their responses and posts just makes me feel bad. I can't help but feel sorry for them.
I hope you yourself are doing well. To all others reading this, I hope you all are too. The fandom isn't the same but I know love can persist somewhere. I am leaving it all up to you to make this place so much better, and that one day everyone can laugh again.
For now, I'm hoping things can rest.
I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright. And as you’ve said: Yes, you have done things wrong, but the actions taken against you were far beyond the pale for what you actually did.
An apology backed by action towards self-betterment is a good apology, & is what you’ve shown to be doing, though I truly wish that the cost you’ve had to pay for this all wasn’t so steep. I hope that you’re still able to find enjoyment in your art still, & hope that you’re able to heal from all of this, even if it takes a good bit of time to do so.
May the path you walk no longer hurt to stand on, & may you find yourself at peace with all of it some day.
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chiyana · 1 day ago
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This is one of those fandom tropes that I admittedly had to weed out before it dug in too deep, mostly the unquestioning nature of it as "something Batman has said and believes" because it really doesn't hold up to scrutiny and gets abruptly horrifying the second you scratch the surface, BUT. I think there are some interesting ways to unpack it as a concept. Even then though I wouldn't start from "this is something Batman said at any point or believes", I'd start from "this is a misconception in-universe".
Like no one who knows Batman in any capacity thinks he believes this to any degree. He works with the Justice League, he's friends with Superman and plenty of other metas, he has no problem with them being in his city. He has a problem with other superheroes patrolling in Gotham because he has massive control issues and is possessive of his city, but I think most heroes established in specific cities would have similar hang-ups (to a significantly less dramatic degree, but still). I also don't think it would have anything to do with powers, like he would have exactly as bad a reaction to Green Arrow doing it as he would Green Lantern.
I do think though that Batman could have some actual concerns about metas in Gotham, not in a "I don't want them in my city" way but more of a "how do I make contingencies and keep as many people safe as possible in the worst case scenario" - 1 because making contingencies and trying to keep a step ahead of everyone is sort of Batman's thing, and 2 because Gotham does have a problem with a whole spectrum of toxins gasses pollens mind-control and mind-altering substances, which can activate meta genes, and it's probably not great to have someone learn they can set their skin on fire for the first time while high on fear gas. I don't think he would go with "drive all metas out of Gotham" because that just... doesn't make sense for him as a character, but having methods of testing for and inhibiting or countering meta abilities? Yeah, that kind of hyper-awareness for Batman makes sense.
I also think it makes sense to have it as a problem with public opinion, specifically of people living in Gotham. Gotham has a lot of systemic issues, and the 'well-known' metas are mostly Rogues. You could easily have it that there's a prevailing belief in Gotham that metas are inherently dangerous or Rogues in the making. Bruce Wayne can publicly push back against that and push for resources to help metas, both to protect them and help them learn to control and handle their powers, but Batman isn't really a public figure like other heroes. The people he saves and works with can give all the testimony they want about how he still protects metas and helps them, but he's not like... available for interview and he doesn't like being recorded, so it'd be easy for people to ascribe what they want to him - even if there's no data to back it up. Since he's Gotham's hero, if Gotham's people have a problem with metas, clearly Batman does too, right?
There's ways to unpack it as a concept and explore the idea, but honestly I wouldn't apply it across the board as a given, and it doesn't make any sense to apply it to Batman as a character trait - not unless you're prepared to make Batman an out and out fascist and no, please no, we've been down that road before and I'd rather we didn't.
i know ive said it before but i still cannot wrap my mind around how popular and unquestioned the fanon of "batman has a rule banning metas from gotham city" is. even if he tried to say that who the fuck would listen to him 💀 like can you imagine dick being like "sorry kory you can't come over, bruce is just racist like that haha" NO!!!! dick would sooner beat bruce's ass and he'd be right!!!!
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nerdy-frog98 · 7 hours ago
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Okay listen, I get that I have little experience in the 9-1-1 fandom, but what in the actual hell is the weird response to the bucktommy breakup? It was never this weird with other love interest breakups right? Of Buck’s love interests, Abby and Taylor were the only ones developed enough to warrant any sort of strong reaction. Tommy had no development.
Seriously. What did we know about him?:
He’s gay. He’s a pilot. He has a history of sexism and racism. He likes basketball and Muay Thai. And….? We saw nothing of his personal life, we saw little of his personality, and we didn’t see him and Buck actually power through any obstacles. Because that was the point, he was a plot device. It was painfully obvious he wasn’t going to be a lasting love interest…was it not? I don’t mean how little he was developed (because obviously that dev could’ve been done), but because of how HEAVILY Eddie haunted the narrative. Bucktommy’s first kiss genuinely shocked the hell out of me and my casual viewer sis-in-law because both of us felt it was obvious that Buck was trying to get Eddie’s attention. (seriously, that whole scene with Eddie on the phone in the firehouse and Buck peacocking to try and get Eddie’s attention…That was fucking obvious. I got a bruise from how hard that smacked me in the face.)
I realize I’m a buddie shipper so I am biased, but I’m a buddie shipper BECAUSE that is what the narrative has led me to. However, when Tommy was reintroduced, I made an actual effort to like him. I tried not to engage with the Buddie majority that hated him because I wanted to see if my mind could be changed, and ya know what? All it did was make me believe that there’s literally nobody else that they can end up with. Whether it was accidental on the writer’s part or purposeful, Buck and Eddie have been written into a romantic corner with only one way out, and that’s through each other. (Unless they somehow introduce two love interests that can beat a 7-season long slow burn friends-to-lovers with insanely good late bloomer queer representation. lol.)
I’m genuinely trying to understand though. How are people going this insane over Tommy? What exactly did he do that was so fantastic and amazing that he deserved undying loyalty? The kind of loyalty that sparks people to write weird fucking messages on Oliver’s instagram about him being biphobic(???????) and then making jokes about deporting him and Ryan. What the fuck.
I could maybe understand the outrage if it was a character who was well developed and beautifully written (like Chimney or Hen), and I could even see it if it was a beloved side character (like Ravi or May), but. seriously. Tommy?
Anyway, normally I would say “eh who am I to judge what people get attached to?” But in this case I am a little bit judgmental.
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agoldenblackbird · 2 days ago
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i'm gonna be a ranty bitch for a minute.
tbh i'm turned off even reading new buddie fic despite being a multishipper and have unfollowed a bunch of buddie accounts because i'm sick of the smug attitudes. one ask that i am otherwise not going to publish or respond to ended with 'sorry you don't understand media literacy bestie :)' fuck off. listen INFANT, i have been writing fanfic and original fic AND watching, reading and analyzing queer media since before you were born, i understand how character and story development works, and i know the difference between 'storyline i personally disliked' and 'bad writing.' this was BOTH, and it also was marketed to us as 'carefully crafted bi rep' and 'queer love story that is not about a bunch of pain and conflict FOR ONCE' so we have every right to be upset at the bait-and-switch.
the fact that i'm seeing the same exact posts - 'bt bones buddie CANON' that i saw three seasons ago after the bucktaylor breakup, or every time they thought buck and taylor MIGHT break up - says something. the fact that so many fans seem genuinely convinced (STILL!) that buddie is inevitable because there have been so many 'signs,' and then they rattle off a convoluted theory that would make the most hardcore taylor swift stan say 'wow, that's a bit of a reach,' honestly weirded me out a little when i first joined the 911 fandom. i have never been in a fandom where so many fans are insistent that their ship will be - not might be or could be, but WILL be - canon. i am skeptical both from past experience with other shows mishandling queer storylines or ship-baiting, and tim minnear's proven track record with this one of not really knowing what to do with buck's LI's. but i didn't want to yuck anybody's yum, so i let them have their theories and squee in peace, and unfollowed or blocked certain tags if i was seeing too much of it and getting annoyed. it's too out there for me, but i'm glad they're having fun!
yet they can't give us the same courtesy. they deride us as delusional for thinking that a canon pairing that was presented to us both in promo and the show itself as different and important (eg the bobby approval convo and 'buck getting off the hamster wheel') might last, and we're stupid to have ever liked tommy or lou or be disappointed at how the breakup was written, and if we point out the biphobia it's just sour grapes.
the bucktommy breakup is not the first time 911 has started out strong with an interesting storyline and fumbled it in the 4th quarter either because the writers got bored or in the name of needless drama/a 'gotcha' sudden twist. amir & bobby, eddie's fight club arc, the sperm donor SL, hen vs councilwoman ortiz, whatever the hell is going on with harry, the whole mess with shannon/kim, just to name a few. and especially the past couple of seasons, for me since 6b, the pacing has been off. they seem to have too much happening at once and many of the storylines don't have enough room to breathe to be narratively satisfying, or they get resolved in ways that feel lackluster.
if the toxic buddie stans who have been attacking lou on sm and sending death threats (wtf!) actually get what they want, which i admit is possible, but it's certainly not guaranteed….i don't know why they think the writers won't fumble that just as badly. it's not going to happen precisely the way they want it to because it is impossible to please everybody, that's what fanfic is for. but at this point i have zero faith that it would even be well done at all, and zero trust in the writers not to just sabotage or regress a character for funsies, and that's an excellent reason to stop watching the show. in most of my other fandoms i regard canon as a jumping-off point or a blurry outline at best, and i can have just as much fun in the 911 sandbox without any further input from canon at all, once i'm less angry.
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thestrangestthlng · 2 days ago
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Thoughts and prayers rants...
So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.
But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.
Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.
Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.
That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?
At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.
Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.
For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.
You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.
Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.
Again:
We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.
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nevertheless-moving · 3 days ago
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binged dungeon meshi anime + manga after numerous tumblr posts and leg injury. thoughts based on fandom > manga> anime ride:
[SPOILERS FOR MANGA]
senshi pantyshot fanservice much appreciated but... should really be more lingering and inexplicably glistening if its gonna match up to fanservice in other animes
no yeah TOTALLY get why toshiro just said fuck it and went home after... all that. days of no food. blase dark magic/you were too late reveal. long repressed slapfight that he probably felt equally guilty and angry about. girl he loved appeared as GIANT MONSTER and BRUTALLY killed HIS FAMILY.
girl he loved STOPPED TO PULL HER TITS OUT midway through BRUTALLY KILLING HIS FAMILY.
i'd go home too
also , Maricelle, all the love in the world, but i get why everyone was mad about the dark magic. i mean it looked bad. WE know that thistle interfered but the situation looked BAD ngl maricelle i would not want you healing me either after falin appearance.
feel like changeling maricelle should have been half half-foot/half-dwarf or something like that. would have been fun half-elf reveal to party. actually bothers me that she wasn't? the more i think about it. i mean itzumi was still cat/kobold.
incredibly belated but looking back at changeling episode...is senshi shirtless the whole time???
okay nevermind did some extensive research and i'm fairly sure he wasn't
also thinking back about senshi — he absolutely knew what he was doing with setting off the traps and pissing chilchuck off...my man was living here for decades.
kabru/laois is both more and less textually present than i would have thought based on fandom.
like on one hand they barely interact. on the other hand they barely interact and Kabru is VERY much obsessed . they have ONE (1) conversation. much hilarity has been observed about that dialogue so i digress
and there is ZERO new information between that interaction and kabru planning on putting the man on a THRONE. at some unclear point his career goal becomes having his lips at this man's ear and a dagger at his neck ???
i cannot stress this enough: he invests SO EARLY in king Laios. willing to sacrifice his life for this to be realized. goal oriented. unhinged. good for him.
you could say it's just him being practical and choosing the best option based on available information but incredibly relevant new information becomes available and Kabru is STILL locked in
i'm crying over kabru 'compressing' mithran's backstory. sure as a meta framing device fine. but in universe? BONKERS. narrative critiquing clinically depressed man's tragic backstory. Super normal move.
so much nuance and different perspectives on fantasy interracial marriages and adoptions and its SO SO GOOD.
gnawing on the walls kinda worldbuilding seriously
so thistle was a teenager when this all started. that's what i'm getting. that's... man there's a lot of layers of tragedy.
wait so if elves and half-foots look ambiguously young do tallmen look ambiguously old?? wrinkly gangly old old wrinkly fuckers??? or burning the candle at both ends terrible looking tall child???
hey i'm starting to think that the monster who controls all monsters... might not be a good guy
'Delgal' holding thistle at the end ... i'm not crying. you're crying.
impossible to say if laois won the final battle on purpose or not
genuinely no idea
11/10 no notes about that fact
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ofmdrecaps · 7 hours ago
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11/07-08/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi/Minnie Driver; Samba Schutte; Kristian Nairn; Vico Ortiz; Guz Khan; Damien Gerard; WB News; Petition Update; Revenge Raffle; Articles; Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine Updates; Fan Spotlight: A Muse Of Fyre's Calendar Kickstarter; Love Notes;
Hey all, as you can see I'm late again. I took some advice and spent a lot of hours over the last few days doing some creative projects and spending time with friends and my son. Hoping to be caught up soon. Lots happened over the last few days so things are being spread across this and the next issue. Hope you're all staying safe and sane out there <3
== David Jenkins ==
Sounds like Chaos Dad is making the jump from Twitter elsewhere! You can now follow him if you haven't already on:
Threads
Bluesky!
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== Rhys Darby ==
Okay but for real, Tumblr, for the love of all things cheese, please let me be able to upload more than one video on a post! Rhys was out in Indianapolis Indiana for his Comedy show! Thank you to our dear crewmate @sherlockig for posting these on tumblr!
So someone sent me this pic which is obviously cropped--- so if this is your photo please let me know I'd love to credit you! I couldn't find it or I'd have asked personally!
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New Cryptid Factor Episode! More Footage from Lochness!
Source: The Cryptid Factor Patreon
== Taika Waititi ==
Taika has been busy with Rita being a complete gorgeous goofball as usual.
Source: LA Mode Magazine
Taika has also really just been EVERYWHERE the last few days and so there's videos of him all over the place.
instagram
Source: Instagram
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Source: KokoCamden Instagram
Taika and Minnie channeling Ed and Anne Bonny Chaos Vibes out at the KOKO Foundation charity event!
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Source: Minnie Driver's Instagram
This last one, Minnie described as a "Hot Sandwich" .
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Source: Minnie's Instagram
== Samba Schutte ==
This is a little late since this was from before the class, but Samba was such a sweetie and shared some love for his upcoming baking class and a script from S2 Ep 8!
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Source: Samba's Twitter
== Kristian Nairn ==
New Episode of Spektrum is out!
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Source: Kristian's Instagram Stories
== Guz Khan ==
Guz is going to be in Dubai Jan 20th! Ticket Info here!
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Source: Guz's Instagram
== Vico Ortiz ==
Vico has blessed their Patreon followers with more S2 BTS! If you're a follower check them out below!
BTS 1 - Selection of pictures
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BTS 2 - Super quick video of Sampson and Con
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Source: Vico's Patreon
== Damien Gerard ==
If you have a moment, please send our Father Teach, Damien some good vibes and love. He's got some stuff going on and he could use some extra love!
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Source: Damien Gerard's Bsky
== WB News ==
Our friends over at @adoptourcrew are keeping us up to date on these articles that keep coming out about WBD!
Source: AdoptOurCrew twitter
In addition, our spectacular crewmate Ashley, aka a Seven_Sugars on Twitter and Bluesky gave us a whole lot of info regarding the WBD Q3 Earnings Report!
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Source: Seven_Sugars Twitter/Bluesky
== 90K on the Petition ==
Hey all! Great job! We finally hit 90K on the petition! If you're new to the fandom and havent signed yet, please do so here!
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Source: Adopt Our Crew Tumblr
== Revenge Raffle ==
One of our ever present, extremely kind crewmates, Irene Adler was kind enough to set up a new raffle, she's made several lockets out of the glass from the actual Revenge ship, and she's going to be raffling them as well as some other goodies off to support LGBTQIA+ folks in the US! You can follow along for new via instagram with the #revengeraffle hashtag. Have something you wanna donate or enter? Send her a DM! The Raffle will be going live in late Nov/Early December!
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Source: Irene Adler's Instagram / Threads
== Articles ==
More articles featuring OFMD! Thank you again for sharing these @adoptourcrew!
Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter
== Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine Updates==
Over $1000 has been raised for charity with the Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine! Great job everyone! If you haven't gotten one yet and would like to, you can visit @stedebonnetzine or their carrd for more info!
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Source: Auxiliary Wardrobe Zine Twitter
== Fan Spotlight ==
= A Muse Of Fyre Calendar! =
It's that time of year for 2025 Calendars! Our dear crewmate @amuseoffyre has a Kickstarter up for a calendar with their fabulous Muppets! Check it out here!
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Source: A Muse Of Fyre Instagram
== Love Notes ==
Hey there lovelies. I really hope you're hanging in there. It's been a heck of a week. I've been distracting myself with art and listening to audio books, and watching film, and I have to say, disengaging a bit has been really helpful for my mental health. One of the biggest things I continue to hear from so many different supportive groups out there is that community is such a huge part of getting through the collective grief and trauma we're all experiencing right now. Please if you can, take some time and go meet up with friends. Get a hug, give a hug, if you don't hug, just a smile and be with some of your fellow people in the community. We need each other more than ever at the moment, and it's amazing how humanizing even basic human connection can be, Please be safe, please spend some time being creative, please go out and get some time with your community, someone you feel safe with. If you can't get out, try a video call, or just lean on your crew online, whatever it is you feel comfortable and safest with. I'm thinking and rooting for you every day. I'm hoping over the coming days I'll be in a better headspace to try and be around more. Sending love <3 Rest up lovelies.
instagram
Source: Positively Present Instagram
instagram
Source: JessRaePhoenix Instagram
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Long confession ahead, apologies in advance.
Look, I don't get heated about shipping. I like what I like, and I look at things I like. If I don't like whatever someone is posting, I'll filter the tags, and if they aren't using the tags appropriately, I will block them. It's fairly easy for me to avoid ships I personally dislike most of the time. I do all of the things I'm supposed to, and yet I'm still having this problem.
There is one singular ship on God's green earth that kills all of my enjoyment for both of the characters involved, and it is radioapple. I have never felt such strong emotions about any other ship before in any of the fandoms I'm part of. It's fucking everywhere. I genuinely cannot use this website if I want to see Lucifer or Alastor fanart/fanfic, and I'm not moving sites.
But God. I'm so fucking sick and tired of seeing "this post contains filtered content: #radioapple." When S1 first came out, I counted 37 blocked posts in a row on top of #Alastor on one given day. I had to scroll through 37 blocked fucking posts before I found ONE that wasn't about fucking radioapple. And that isn't counting all the OTHER Alastor ships, because of course that's all anyone gives a shit about anymore.
I'm on mobile, so I can't use browser extensions to make Tumblr's filtering system actually do what I want it to (delete every radioapple post, forever). I also don't feel like buying a laptop for fucking Tumblr. I've been getting back into HH after falling out of it for a while for related reasons, and I forgot how much angrier and more unhappy I am coming out of #Alastor or (to a lesser extent) #Lucifer than when I went in. Which is super awesome considering they're my two faves.
I wish I was kidding when I say I have actually cried real tears more than once over this. I'm aroace, and I thought maybe for once I'd get to feel at least a little bit included and represented in fandom as a whole. I thought having a canon aroace character would be that for me, at least one tag I could semi-comfortably browse and feel like I'm actually part of shit and not a spectator for once, but obviously not. I don't even get to look at fanart of a character I enjoy without being constantly reminded of how different and alone I am, even when that character is different in exactly the same way as me. Even characters like Alastor that are written to be like me aren't written for me. Because why would anyone create anything for someone like me to enjoy when they could instead jam a little more sex and romance in there?
I once scrolled through #Alastor blocking all the radioapple posters for so long that I reached the bottom of the page. Tumblr would not show me any more posts and I had to reload it. I blocked 209 different blogs, and it barely made a dent. 209. I can't curate my way out of this. I genuinely think I just don't get to like those characters anymore, and it fucking sucks. I want my deer man back.
TL;DR: I cannot enjoy these characters I deeply relate to with how prevalent and fucking inescapable this one ship is, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Frankly I'm not sure it's fixable, but I would love it if this wasn't something else I just don't get to have like everyone else. Someone tell me what to do about this. I want to have fun too.
I understand why you would think that. I’m probably aroaceflux and I can see some alastor in me (aroacewise, not serial killer wise) and why you wouldn’t want to see the ships you don’t like. Unfortunately that’s how many fandoms work, they’ll just keep shipping.
to be honest, I don’t know what to say, but thanks for the confession and I hope things get better for you
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carcingeneticist · 3 days ago
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am I insane enough to answer all of this? possibly, anyway!
1. It was few years ago in 1st grade of highschool
2. I used to have an motivation to join fandoms that were conciderd cringe or were weird in some way
3. Yes I was in Undertale fandom before so I heard they have refrences to each other. Also I knew it from some infamous events from fandom
4. idk it's hard to say. I love this series and all and I love it's characters and analysing it but overall I'm not sure?
5. Well honestly yeah. It got me into thinking that everything we do might just be pre-planned and we can't do anything about it, which is my main philosophy I'm currently going with. So in some way it kinda influenced my spiritual believe (which is kinda insane ik).
6. Probably reading it for first time. I sometimes want to go back to this timeframe when during summer I've done nothing but just read Homestuck whole day, not knowing things ik about now.
7. OKAY SO HERE'S FUN BACKSTORY THAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR; I was waiting for a class on corridor when suddenly I hear someone talking about "something doing Karkat cosplay" AND I WAS SO TAKEN ABACK BY THIS FACT BECAUSE HOMESTUCK IN YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024???? I didn't had time to catch up with them and instead as any sane person about something which I'm totally am about Homestuck, I made ig story about hearing someone talking about Homestuck and Karkat specifically (and that I'm only one who can cosplay him jk). and it turned out that one of my mutals from school actually knows this person and I thought oh shit that's kinda embarrassing... but like nothing really happened for a while UNTIL WEEK LATER where I wait on same corridor for same class when I see a paper note on one of locker that strangely seem to reassemble Karkat drawing. I thought 'oh shit is that for me?' so I go up there and OH SHIT THAT WAS FOR ME; there was my name on it (although it's more important f my ig handle but yk) and there was infact Karkat drawn there. So I take this note and not only they drew Karkat and Nepeta BUT THEY ALSO MADE A TROLL SONA FOR ME WHICH WAS SO FUCKING WHOLESOME. so I contacted them later through ig and we talked for some time and bonded over our hatred for Vriska lol. anyway I actually met them for first time today (the day I'm typing it) and they are really coo, I showed them where the artist with Homestuck merch was :33
8. I READ IT FULL 2 TIMES!! (well second one was let's read Homestuck but still lol) but it took a while to read it for first time, I remember that for like 3 weeks of summer I were doing nothing but reading Homestuck.
9. KARKAT, KARKAT AND ONCE AGAIN KARKAT. MY BIGGEST KIN AND BLORBO I LOVE THIS GUY TO DEATH
10. Cal. just cal.
11. probably Gamzee but that's a common take i fear
12. common opinion number 2: Dave (but all of beta kids are great and I love them)
13. common opinion number 3: Dirk, but honestly he and Roxy fight in my head for this spot bcs I love them both sm (I actually love all Alpha kids as a group, they have such a great dynamic)
14. common opinion number 4: Karkat obv
15. Porrim is only dancestor I like.
16. Sufferer definitely, I love Jesus analogy with him and Karkat (but I fucking hate kankri).
17. honestly probably John's dad in beta timeline since he was only one who actually cared about his kid, but if we count alpha Dave then him
18. MAYOR. Common opinion number 5
19. Calliope she's honestly such a sweetheart
20: FEFETA JUSTICE!!! >:(( but I also love davepeta^2
21: Idk really!!! I think like I would get along with most characters (except the ones I don't like) but maybe like Roxy or Dirk? or overall Alpha kids actually lol. Also Nepeta would be really fun as a friend!!!
23: I think Terezis one; I love Karkat's because I would actually use that one irl but Terezi's quirk is not only fitting her but also creative in a way you could still read that. also >:?
24: Cronus because it's just Eridans quirk but worse
25: "ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN, THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING"
26. Dirk: Unite Synchronization
27: Heir of Grief easily, my Spotify stat shows that
28: I've been recently constantly listening Sweet - Trickster!Jane song by Phemedic!!! i love how it shows the sugar high as if it was real drugs and it's both sweet but creepy
29. Moonlight Tsundere/ I'm still here/ Calignous Waltz (there's a lot of good ones okay???)
30: One for the money by ikimaru (BUT THERE'S SO MANY GOOD ONES IT'S SO HARD TO CHOOSE ONE AUGHH)
31: I don't rly have one ://
32: YES!!! Okay so I thought about this a lot but 30/90 from Tick tick boom is literally about John/Karkat's birthday
33: Love in time of Juggalos by sburbanite - I CAN'T RECOMMEND THIS FANFIC ENOUGH, PLEASE IF YOU LIKE DAVEKAT AND REINCARNATION AU'S THIS IS LITERALLY BEST THING EVER PLEASE READ IT.
34: IKIMARU, IKIMARU AND ONCE AGAIN IKIMARU, I know they aren't in Homestuck fandom anymore and that's valid but their Homestuck art is so good, it's the most accurate depiction of characters I ever saw I swear. I love their art sm and their artstyle feels so comfy.
35: BET!! So Let's say Davekat would be more of out of quadrant relationship because obv, so then Aradia <3 Sollux, Roxy <> Dirk, John <3< Terezi (only potential healthy kismetitude we were shown) and Karkat o8< Jade o3< Karkat (this is stupidest shit ever and I love it)
36: A few but the one in my mind that stuck in the most is (obv) Karkat goes to convention
37: I spent some time of my life watching analysis videos of Homestuck characters so yeah obv
38. based on the adding your month to date of birth it would be Vriska and honestly no. Just no.
39. Karkat............. And Dirk (who said that??)
40: I DID KARKAT FEW TIMES (I did him yesterday from time of writing this) but I also want to do in future: Dirk, Dave, Gamzee, John and probably more
41: I would want to be derse but sadly I'm too prospit....
42: I hate both but between two bads i would choose meat
43: Fuck felt, make me a member of the midnight crew
44. RARE OPINION I THINK?? But alpha!!!
45. Red because of course
46. Canon, I'm sorry but i'm lore kind of Homestuck reader
47. Knight of heart!!! apparently it's popular classpect but I chose it for myself so it's mine
48. Knights outfit is honestly one of better god tiers designs ( - condom hood) and heart color palette is also one of nicer tho if I could I would change pants and boots.
49. ohh that's actually really interesting! my Homestuck sona color is red and I think it would be same for me (or it could be also hot pink honestly) and for quirk I'm pretty sure it would be same as I type casually (a lot of abbreviation, using mostly lower case and using u instead of you.) but I could also totally go Karkat typing mode.
50: Again same as my sona's; a scythe (or maybe like a kitchen knife)
51: I DON'T HAVE ONE YET!!!! OKAY BUT I CAN THINK OF SOMETHING QUICKLY; CascaderGame? that's stupid but whatever I said I'm just thinking of it as I'm typing.
52: Okay so my first one is definitely Dirk and Nepeta (I just think they would get along great!) also on that note; Karkat and Dirk since I think they would have really fun dynamic. Also John & Karkat since we waited on that for so long. and more interactions between Alpha and Beta kids!!!!
53: As I said earlier yes!!! I have kid Sona Ryan :DD
54: YESS!!! I'm currently in middle of making a whole session with my fantrolls and kids!!!
55: well yes as I said earlier lol
56: Do you mean as in I immediately think of Homestuck or my fav one? the one I almost always think about Homestuck is Zodiac; for me it doesn't exist anymore as just a concept, it's only Homestuck. Also typing quirks are very THE Homestuck refrence.
57: Probably some plushie in my room, I think throwing in my Rainbow dash plushie could be fun
58: I WOULD ABSOLUTELY, GIVE ME THE COPY RN
59: YES!!!! ABSOLUTELY I'M WINNING THIS SHIT.
60: Mostly fragments of it since I don't really care that much ://
61: again just fragments
62: Yep!
63: Yep!
64: I started playing it but honestly got bored since I don't really care all that much about Hiveswap characters :// (sorry!!)
65: yep
66: Actually no and I don't really care about it.
67: no and I also don't care
68: YESS!!! AND I LOVE IT SM!!!
69: nope
70: YES AND I THINK THERE'S FEW!!! So first of all definitely the plot since it's a common knowledge a lot of fans have problems with understanding it first read (but I understood it completely first read!!!! >:)) and second the characters and dynamics between them (because some of you are really missing a lot of points in them.............)
71: I would love to know more about earth C if it wasn't such a pile of hot garbage. Also the lives of alpha Dave and Rose, and Beta trolls on Beforus (I ACTUALLY REALLY WANT TO KNOW THIS ONE, LIKE PLEASE.)
72: I love how creative it can get and how insane it sometime is!!! I love seeing the fanarts and fanfics written by us (especially if the description of fanfic is just insane and it ends up being golden). Also I love all the other works like fansongs, animatics, fancomics, lyricstuck ect!!!! everything you create is great!!!!
73: I don't like some treatment of certain characters in fandom :// also i don't like how a lot of people are easy to just hate on certain ships (like Davekat was recently very hated on). I absolutely understand not liking all ships because I also have a lot of ships I dislike but there's no reason to publically hate? like at least do it privately ig
74: I forced my one friend to read it, so yes :33
75: I HAVE SOME STICKERS AND PINS I GOT AT CON FROM ARTIST ALLEY!!!! (ALSO MY KARKAT PLUSH IS INCOMING SO I'M WAITING FOR HIM >:334
76: ......*inhale* JANE DID NOTHING WRONG IN HOMESTUCK ABD THEY HAD NO RIGHT TURNING HER FASCIST AND RACIST IN EPILOGUES. I LOVE JANE AND I WILL ALWAYS DEFEND HER!!!!!!! MY JANE IS NOT A FASCIST!!!!!!
77: I said my popular opinions before lol
78: I HATE MOST OF DANCESTORS, I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD EXIST AND BRING SOMETHING TO THE PLOT, AND ARANEA BIT WAS A FUCKING JOKE
79: oh god just one thing........ uhh Karkat and Sollux were moirails on Alternia up to the Murderstuck. there. (or I would make bro into fanon version of him because I fucking lol him)
80: JANE BEING FUCKING FASICT IN EPILOGUES.
81: I was recently watching con-air (yes because of Homestuck lol) and it reminded me of all scenes were John was roleplaying this movie and I think they were very funny lol
82: Vriska has such a great fucking design, I'm so sad she's such a 8itch. Also a lot of dancestors has cool designs
83: Maybe Aradia? since I started liking her after she god tiered. but besides that I don't think so, I liked most characters from beginning (or from beginning hated them)
84: There's few that are kinda under the rule: we were shown in canon they wouldn't work, but the biggest offender for that for me is Karkat x Nepeta... Because Karkat said canonically he wouldn't want to date her and shipping them together feels weird for me :// ig I feel similar way about Karezi. Also Rose or Kanaya with any men.
85: I'm not really a fan of neither if I'm honest lol. I prefer ships that have sense canon wise
86: On earth C the main cast is treated like gods and they can walk in into and restaurant or shop they want and get everything for free, because they are gods, who's going to tell them to pay money? (my favorite kind of hcs is just ignoring epilogues and creating my own earth C LMAO)
87: All of the let's read Homestuck voices are canon to me actually (well the first ones because they changed some of the voices later and they don't fit that well ://)
88: Intermission. Okay let me tell you something to intermission fans who tell you, you have to read it to be real Homestuck fan, no tf you don't. You can skip entire intermission and loose nothing.
89: I made few arts and I wrote some fics (but I have plans for a longer ones!!!)
90: OFC!!! I'm even celebration 612 and 11/11!!! (which is really soon so HAPPY 11/11!!!!!!)
91: Only Karkat's and John's/Jane's (Rest of kids have really weird birthdays tho, like why don't they get their special date and instead they are stacked on top of each other?)
92: I think the og hussies one when they are blobs without necks, I think it looks really silly and fun
93: MAKES TEREZI LOCO, SHE WANTS TO KNOW THE SECRETS THAT SHE CAN'T TASTE IN MY PHOTO. DYING JUST TO KNOW THE FLAVOUR, I AIN'T DOING HER NO FAVOR-
94: yes dead media from 2012 Tumblr XDD no but srs I think it did because I really crave media similar to Homestuck
95: I can't explain it well but I think south park? mostly probably because of kid focus and a lot of pop culture refrences (or a space that feels very closed of, especially in first seasons of South Park)
96: Because I have freeze reaction everytime I see something I could connect slightly to Homestuck (I can connect everything to Homestuck, I'm master at that)
97: when they are a loser stuck at home
98: Liblo sign of inescapable but I don't really relate to being a Libra so I prefer to think I'm Canlo sign of the thespian (even the description fits me more!!!!)
99: none
100: I'm heart bound, of course it will!!!! It's actually in top of my interests and definitely one of my favorite things!!!! :333
wow I'm finally done with this
Ultimate Homestuck ask game! (100 questions)
1. When did you start reading Homestuck?
2. What made you want to check it out?
3. Had you heard about Homestuck prior to reading it?
4. What does Homestuck mean to you?
5. Has Homestuck influenced you in any way?
6. What's your fondest Homestuck memory?
7. Have you meet friends through Homestuck?
8. How long did it take you to read Homestuck? Have you read it in its entirety?
9. Fave character? (overall)
10. Least fave character? (overall)
11. Fave "problematic" character?
12.  Fave beta kid?
13. Fave alpha kid?
14. Fave beta troll?
15. Fave dancestor?
16. Fave ancestor?
17. Fave guardian?
18. Fave carapacian?
19. Fave cherub?
20. Fave sprite?
21. A character you'd be friends with?
22. A character you wouldn't be friends with?
23. Fave quirk?
24. Least fave quirk?
25. Fave pesterlog?
26. Fave flash?
27. Fave song/songs?
28. Fave fan song?
29. Fave Broadway Homestuck song?
30. Fave lyricstuck?
31. Fave Homestuck AU?
32. Are there any non Homestuck songs that make you think about Homestuck?
33. Fave fanfic?
34. Fave Homestuck writer/fan artist?
35. Fave ship? (alternatively: fave ship in each quadrant?)
36. Have you read any fan adventures?
37. Have you watched any Homestuck video essays?
38. Who's your patron troll? And do you identify with them in any way?
39. What characters are most like you?
40. If you do cosplay, which Homestuck characters have you done or would like to do?
41. Prospit or Derse?
42. Meat or Candy?
43.  The Felt or The Midnight Crew?
44. Beta kids or alpha kids?
45. Red team or Blue team?
46. Canon or fanon?
47. What's your classpect?
48. Do you like your god tier or would you modify it to better suit your taste?
49. If you were in Homestuck, what would your color and typing quirk be?
50. Your strife specibus?
51. If you have one, what's your chumhandle?
52. What character interactions would you have liked to see/see more of?
53. Do you have a kidsona or trollsona?
54. Have you ever made fan kids or fan trolls?
55. Do you have any Homestuck OCs?
56. What's THE Homestuck reference for you?
57. Quick! You gotta prototype your kernel sprite, what are you dropping in there?
58. Would you play SBURB?
59. Do you think you'd win SBURB?
60. Have you read The Epilogues?
61. Have you read/are you reading Homestuck^2?
62. Have you played Pesterquest?
63. Have you played Hiveswap?
64. Have you played Friendsim?
65. Have you read the Intermission?
66. Have you read Problem Sleuth?
67. Have you read Jailbreak?
68. Have you read Paradox Space?
69. Have you read any of Hussie's other works?
70. What's an aspect of Homestuck you feel you know more about than the average Homestuck fan?
71. What's an aspect of Homestuck you'd like to know more about?
72. What's something you like about the fandom?
73. What's something you dislike about the fandom?
74.  Would you recommend Homestuck to new readers/friends?
75. Do you have any Homestuck memorabilia/merch? (official or not?)
76. A hot take or hill you'd gladly die on?
77. What are your popular opinions?
78. What are your unpopular opinions?
79. If you could canonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
80. If you could uncanonize one thing and one thing only, what would it be?
81. Are there any panels you particularly remember or enjoy?
82. Is there any character you like aesthetically, but not personality wise?
83. Is there any character who's grown on you over time?
84. Is there a ship you don't particularly like/straight up hate?
85. Do you have any crackships or rare ships?
86. Any headcanons you'd like to share?
87. Do you have any voice claims for the cast?
88. Did you find any part of Homestuck boring?
89. If you're a creative, do you have any Homestuck related projects?
90. Do you celebrate 413?
91. Do you remember the characters' birthdays?
92. What's your favourite art style within Homestuck?
93.  Karkalicious definition?
94.  Has Homestuck influenced what you look for in fiction?
95. What's a non Homestuck thing that you think has strong Homestuck vibes?
96. Others could clock you as Homestuck fan because [blank].
97. You recognise fellow Homestuck fans because [blank].
98. What's your extended zodiac sign?
99. How normal are you about Homestuck?
100. Will Homestuck stay somewhere inside you forever and ever wherever you go?
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floralegia · 6 months ago
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I've seen a lot of these bouncing around so idk anymore who hasn't done one--but if you haven't, and you want to, consider yourself incredibly tagged! <3 Tagged by @abovetherainandroses -- thanks Storm, this was fun, hehe!
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lucyshypemaster · 1 year ago
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keefe was actually insane for this
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winteriron-trash · 4 months ago
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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otaku553 · 10 months ago
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Hihi, I just wanted to say (again) that I love your works, whether it’s art or just plain fanfic! I think my favorite has to be either the FMA/ Genshin crossover or Bleach/ BNHA one. ^^ The way you twist your words are so captivating, especially with character studies! Idk, just love the way you can break them down and place em in a new place and just have them fit. As someone who loves crossovers, I heavily admire you and your self-restraint in the respect that [insert character] doesn’t have [insert character]’s friends/ family popping up everywhere if that makes sense? Anyways I just wanted to say thanks for being so cool and I enjoy seeing the little drawings you add into your responses. If you’re up for it, any character from the aforementioned AUs? No pressure! :D
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Hehe thank you!!! I’m glad to see another person who enjoys crossovers! I think it’s a shame that there arent more of them, they’re such interesting opportunities for character studies! I think if you’re able to figure out what a character will do when isolated from their preexisting relationships and world there are lots of possibilities to play around with!
I get the temptation to want to see characters interact with people they know and are familiar with, though perhaps due to my own general social isolation, I see a lot of value in writing characters making new relationships when they don’t have access to their old ones. Like what makes them stand out to other people? Why would people want to or not want to be friends with them? What secrets do they keep and what is the threshold of trust or necessity for revealing a secret?
If you want crossover fic recs I have very very many! I really love crossovers haha they’re very very fascinating to me and I hope more people will write them
Thanks for the ask!! Here’s a doodle of mha toshiro :)
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rocker-socks · 9 months ago
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not to be insane but Stephanie Brown is so underrated and i really do hate to say its misogyny but. well. It is.
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lord-squiggletits · 11 months ago
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The Slope by @megatron-fucks provides a great scene where Pharma gets to blow up on Ratchet about how he lost everything good in his life and faced a fate worse than death so Ratchet has no right to judge him.
But you know what else I really want to see and might write myself?
I want a post-Delphi scene where Pharma gets to verbally rip Ratchet apart about how he disowned Pharma and is acting as if the 'new Pharma' is a completely different person, but in reality Ratchet is just desperate to convince himself that Pharma was always a bad apple and the "best friend" Ratchet knew was either a lie or a person who's "died." Basically Pharma getting to lambast Ratchet about how 'the person he used to be' isn't some separate entity, that the old Pharma LITERALLY IS HIM and it's Ratchet who's a piece of shit for being unable to reconcile that Pharma could be his former best friend and also the monster he ended up becoming.
Mostly in regards to the aspect of canon where despite being former best friends, Ratchet made basically zero efforts to have any sympathy for Pharma or extend help/mercy to him and mostly used their former friendship to prey on Pharma's insecurities to manipulate him into doing what he wanted.
Of course it's a narration by Pharma so it might not be 100% correct or unbiased, but like. I just desperately crave some sort of resolution between Ratchet and Pharma. Or if not a resolution, at least some catharsis where Pharma gets to unload and Ratchet acknowledges he was a bastard.
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i know that at the time they thought pharma died#but it literally is SO disturbing that ratchet and first aid talk about pharma like#'he was a good doctor for most of his life' 'you can carry the best part of him with you'#it's fucked up bc like. good doctor pharma and bad autobot pharma arent two people in one body#pharma is pharma it's literally the same good doctor who turned into the bad autobot#it lowkey reads as if theyre trying to compartmentalize pharma like. oh there was Good Pharma and Bad Pharma#but the reality is the good and bad are a whole person-- Pharma#it was a gradual slope to madness and evil caused SPECIFICALLY BY PHARMA WANTING TO PROTECT OTHERS#it's kinda fucked up that no one ever acknowledges that#even in the fandom level there's often a silent implication that pharma was always a little evil/suspicious#so delphi just revealed his true colors or something. like no he went insane under threat of the DJD#idk i'm apologisting for my boy#but real talk i do think pharma and the way ratchet/others treated him could make a good story abt like#the way ppl want others to fit neatly into good/evil roles ESPECIALLY IF THEY USED TO ASSOCIATE WITH THEM#and how ppl will attempt to distance themselves from 'problematic' exes by just claiming#'oh i always knew there was something evil about them' even when that wasnt the case#idk lol. i mean ppl acknowledge pharma used to be a good doctor but just bc they say it#doesnt mean they actually gave him a chance or didnt treat him as just an autobot who went bad#i know im being contradictory. i'm apologisting i didnt ask for feedback sjfksjfjsjd
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princessconsuelapark · 21 days ago
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as much as i appreciate the sentiment behind posts talking about people's childhoods and growing up with them and big part of formative years etc, that concept feels so alien to me.
him and his band are a big part of my life still.
they are on my blog, in my bio, my url, on my twitter header, in my spotify wrapped, I wear their merch to the gym, I sleep in it, (god help me but) i have notifs on for @ onedirection on ig, I buy tickets to their concerts, and I use my mug with their faces on it every single day for my morning coffee.
that is all in the present. and I understand that people mourn for a sense of nostalgic past and that is so valid. I just can't quite see myself within any of those remembrances.
so here's a post for us, for the fans who are still here, for the people who mourn not just for their past, but for their present, and now future. ❤️ love you all lots.
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