#I could also talk trash f it tbh

[jeoncopi]

That story was umm…

don’t worry, I get it. I thought so too.

I know it’s nothing impressive tbh but like I said, it was just something random I wrote after seeing wed jungkook 😄

regardless of if you liked it or not, I still want to know your thoughts LMAO

[femmefatale-tales]

Batman?

Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky meet for the first time.

Author’s note: reader is not described as pale or black nor is she described thin or thic. Anyone can read this.

Warnings: fluff? Reader is funny and witty, bucky is broody and grump but turns a softie at the end. Banter like funny banter. Also kinda annoying reader I mean for Bucky.

I am sooo sorry if this is trash cause this is my first fanfic like ever also please tell me if it was funny or not. Lol

I walk to the hall in the compound to get some coffee, actually correction, my 6th cup of coffee of the day. I mean it is a addiction and I don’t deny it but something has to be wrong with me, i can’t just be perfect. Though I do think Lorelai Gilmore is perfect and she drinks coffee. Maybe I am perfect. Someone clears their throat which isn’t me so I look up.

I see a tall man, must be 6’0 foot something, wearing a tight black T-shirt that is evidently small for him, he has the most perfect blue eyes and is actually one of the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and I say this just after seeing a Cillian Murphy movie so you bet I’m serious.

I instead of saying a good “hey” or “hello” ask “are you batman?” Which could be possible, I mean he looks like him with his broody expression.

He looks confused or angry, I can’t really tell. See he’s showing signs of being batman.

I just keep looking at him. “Are you serious?” He asks surprised.

I simply nod.

“ what makes you say that?” He questioned somewhat amused.

“I don’t even say this stupidly, I live with avengers so the fact that you could be batman seems possible to me and you have an expression that says you hate everyone, you’re wearing everything black, and you’re tall, almost all qualities of him are present to be true” I rant.

“I’m not batman. You don’t know me?” He mumbled.

“ No, but you do look familiar. Sorry I have a bad memory, and sometimes I just forget stuff because I didn’t pay attention because I didn’t want to and then I have to remember it since it turns out to be important and-” I keep talking until he cuts me off

“ You talk a lot, do you ever shut up?” He ask obviously agitated.

“I don’t really but only sometimes if it’s really important or if nat or Steve make me. Oh and when I’m sleeping but I would’ve know that actually because I’ll be the one sleeping” i continue to annoy him further.

“Shut up” He looks kinda like he’s teasing but it’s hard to tell.

“Why should-” he interrupts again.

“Okay that’s enough, and now you can stop talking” he groans.

“Wow rude much, grinch” he rolls his eyes at the comment.

Almost 30 seconds pass by and both of us stay silent but i of-course couldn’t just shut up cause where’s the fun in that so I started again.

“Does the serum give you extra stamina during sexy times?” I ask curiously breaking the silence.

“Oh my god, are you- can you not shut up for some time??” He speaks his frown too evident one his face.

I keep staring at him waiting for the answer.

“ Okay that’s it. Are you serious? You’re really asking that question ??” He says amused yet annoyed at the same time.

I just looking at him as if it’s not obvious that I was serious.

After 10 seconds of Bucky just staring at me he finally says “ It does”

“ Wait,So you know who I am” he stats.

“ oh yeah, I figured that out when you were asking if I always talk so much” I say casually.

“You want coffee?” I say going to the kitchen counter.

He looks at me surprised and chuckles saying “sure”.

“You always offer coffee to dangerous people you don’t know?” He asks smugly.

“Yes and no. See I know you, I might have forgot but it’s only because I just saw a dilf’s movies” I say giving him the coffee.

“What’s a dilf?” He questions.

“You but I doubt you have kids” I giggle.

“I don’t even wanna know what you meant by that” he stats.

“ What’s your zodiac sign?” I ask him trying to sit on the counter but it’s a bit too high tbh.

He comes in front of me seeing my struggle and holds my waist ,hoists me up on the counter. His hands are a bit cold but they send a warmth through my body which I don’t really notice until he takes his place on the chair in front of the counter again.

“ I don’t know, Sam told me about them but I don’t know mine” he shrugs.

“Oh okay just tell me your birthday” I tell him

“March 10”

“Oh so you’re a pieces which is weird because you’re looks could give you away as a Scorpio” I say surprised.

“Okay…, that’s some useless information to me but whatever” he speaks

“ I mean it is useless but it’s fun sometimes” I say

“Anyways, what’s you’re name?” He asks

“Oh yeah I haven’t told you a that yet, it’s Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Pretty name” he says looking up at me.

“Ohh thank you, you have pretty name too actually , I really like James. I’m gonna call you James from now on actually” I say feeling a bit flustered from the compliment.

“Ofcourse you can ,great of you to ask, you know” he sarcastically replied

I just give him a cheeky smile and finish my coffee. I jump down on the floor and put my cup in the sink.

“Okay babe, now I’m gonna go and take a shower, we’ll meet later” I speak turning on my heels to the exit.

He chuckles at the nickname and shakes his head waving a bye in direction.

“Bye batman” I shout as I disappear in the elevator.

Leaving bucky smiling to himself.

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

For the TMNT Ships Ask Thing:

Caseynardo (Leo x Casey)

and/or

Aprilnardo/Leopril (Leo x April)

I love these 2 ships so much. I know they are kind of rarepairs (though, MM gave a lot of love to Leopril and there has been a lot more Leopril stuff. Which is great!), but I love them.

They are very dear to my heart. Personally.

Caseynardo 2012:

I've never heard of it until long time later

Now I'm just kicking my feet

YESSSSSSS

Silly goofball jock x serious and quiet nerd RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SCREW LEORAI

TO MAKE THIS BETTER LEO IS PRETTY MUCH BI IN THE SERIES (He's stated to have a man crush on Captain Ryan)

THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER IN THAT ONE EPISODE

I'm aware they were kind of trash talking big foot in a foot too big but they were STILL bonding!!!

Please read Breaking the Ice by @fabuloustrash05 . I stopped studying for a few minutes to just read it and I'm proud. Disclaimer don't ditch your studies to just read fanfics that is not my message.

Anyways the fnafic solified my love for the ship.

Opposites attract

I can also see them as two friends who act gay but actually aren't or maybe they are.

Or two guys who seem gay but~ (inset bisexuality)

It's amazing. A solid 10/10.

2012 Aprilnardo:

We sadly don't get too much content with them but like-

I remember I was kind of introduced to this ship because I followed one of my idols who shipped it and made fanart of it and it was on DA. This was back before it got deactivated my account.

I LOVE 'Eyes of the chimera' episode. They were basically supporting each other all the way.

Ngl the transfem Leo lovers made me love it even more because I love me some lesbians. TMNT is already filled with some lesbians so why not add more!

I love how April is always by Leo's side and we see how much she cares for him.

I love the idea that April used to be into Space Heroes and then Leo got her back into it.

(For those who headcannon as both autistic) they would so totally talk and rant about their hyperfixation.

I wish though they had more moments together.

They are legit underrated.

The ship will get 9/10 for me.

I'll include rise and the mutant mayhem version cause why not.

Rise Leo x Cassandra:

Meh not bad

It's okay at best

I do feel like they could have become very close friends if Cass left junior under Leo's care in the bad future.

They are both reckless and over energetic and yet still have a lot of insecurities and issues that they have to cover it up.

Not a bad idea I suppose.

I guess 4.5/10. I don't know. We didn't get much of them so I mean.

Rise Leo x Junior:

ABSOLUTELY NOT

DNI IF YOU SHIP THEM

LEO WAS LITERALLY A FATHER FIGURE TO CASEY

"But I'm shipping the teen version of Leo with junior not adult-" NO. IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER.

ALSO IMAGINE DATING YOUR FRIEND'S SON. THAT WOULD BE SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.

AGAIN, LEAVE MY PAGE IF YOU SHIP THEM.

Negative 0/10. Get the f out.

Rise Leo x April:

I've seen and been bombared by a ton of art regarding this ship on YT.

Controversial opinion: It's cute.

They both have the same energy and another controversial opinion but, Leo has a way closer relationship with April then Donnie. I've kind of seen more scenes with them together then with her and Donnie.

Though just like last time I prefer her being an older sister figure to him that Leo looks up to.

They both care for each other and love each other no matter what.

April pretty much comforts the turtles about their insecurities so she would do the same with Leo.

Probably a 6/10 or something. Again, prefer them as siblings but don't hate it. I'll kind of indulge in it tbh-

Mutant Mayhem Leo x April:

Better then 2012 Donnie's lmao-

They do have sweet moments

It's sweet they went to prom together

Mah boi was simping real hard

I feel like they should have gotten more scenes

I do feel like maybe April and Leo won't really happen or be cannon though. I don't know man. I'll see how it goes in the Tales of TMNT that will happen in 2024.

I'm really hoping they don't make it into a toxic love triangle or make it creepy or toxic.

I'll take this ship anyway as one of the only few good Leo romances.

It took them after 1987 to finally give Leo a good love interest.

the way he looks at her AHHHHHHHHH

The fanart of them together is really cute and wholesome (that made me remember that I still had that art request from you just sitting in my files- I didn't draw it because I didn't see MM yet- I'll try and get to it at some point I swear-)

Hope we get more scenes of them together

I'm unsure where I sit with this ship just yet. Again I'll see how it goes in the show.

For now, 7/10. I feel like a bit too high but you know what, whatever. The ship is okay so far.

Now...

Is anyone interested in Caprilnardo~?

[numberoneanika]

Okay, so now that I'm FINALLY done making my DRDT video and am now exporting, I finally have time to make a long-ass post on who I think the killer is most likely to be. There is a very clear opinion in this essay. Be warned, it is a lot of text. This post might be formatted weird, because I copied it from Google Docs. Spoilers for Ch2 Episode 11.

First of all, the evidence. Here is a list: The motive secrets The fish on the playground Tape wrapped around the carousel (likely the grippy tape Rose mentioned) Rope hidden in the carousel Marks near the swingset Red marks on Arei’s wrist Arei’s broken neck Ripped up note in trash Tape in trash, identical to the tape on carousel Water jugs with handles missing Ball of clothes glued together with starch

Broken lights in the playground Apparently there is some difference in the gym, though I can’t find it now. I think someone said some of the weights are moved?

Evidence Discussion Time: Our time of death is probably wrong. The jugs in the trash could be used to keep water around and stored in the minifridge in the gym, thus making the murder able to be committed during nighttime, and the marks on Arei’s wrists look too new to be made last night. Her body was also still moving when we found it, implying it was hanged recently. The note could be fake, for all we know - it’s way less suspicious to put a note in a pocket, which everyone here has, then to rip it up into multiple pieces and throw it in the trash, not to mention more time-efficient. The ball of clothes is oddly, perfectly… circular. Almost like it’s wrapped around something. As far as I know, Charles never mentioned the weight of it, so it could be wrapped around a bowling ball. Or something. More on this soon. Honestly, the fish could turn out to have nothing to do with the murder. Maybe they were just there to help establish the fake time of death. If Arei was hanged normally, then she should’ve died of strangulation. However, her neck is broken instead. Pretty much everyone and their mom has already said this, but it’s most likely that there was a pulley system involving the carousel of some sort that broke her neck. Also, there’s some extra rope tied around the top pole of the swing set (???), which further supports this theory. Also, if the ball of clothes really is wrapped around something like a bowling ball, the killer could’ve used it as the weight in the system. Considering Arei doesn’t seem to have any signs of struggle, it’s possible the killer knocked her out with Rose’s turpentine, which she mentioned she lost. The marks near the swing set could technically disprove this, but it’s not too hard to fake these marks. Not to mention, the scratches could help prove the fake time of death, depending on how long it would take any marks on the floor to disappear.

Okay, it’s time to actually talk about our suspects. I’ll be ranking them from least suspicious to most suspicious, and talk about my top two suspects in more detail.

Literally impossible: Xander, Min, Teruko, Charles Don’t think I have to explain for our former three. Charles has a phobia of dead bodies, not just blood, so I highly doubt he’d be the killer.

Highly unlikely: Eden, Arturo, Veronika, David, Arei Eden: Her being the culprit would only make Teruko’s beliefs in Not Trusting Anyone Ever only get worse. Arturo: Seems like he’ll get character development, sooner or later. Veronika: Seems too obvious, saying weird shit like that she’s excited about the killing game, and just wants to be entertained. David: Just… well, you know. He’s batshit insane and has admitted to the crime, all Nagito-style, so I don’t think it’s him. Probably antagonist, tbh. Arei: See above for hanging and strangulation vs broken neck.

Bit likely: Nico, Rose, Ace Nico: I don’t know particularly why, but they’re just kind of suspicious. I don’t know if they’d risk it, though, considering they were just caught red-handed trying to kill Ace. Rose: Considering the note is probably fake, she could be acting like she’s trying to help, but in actuality, is putting us on the wrong path? I can’t really see it being her, though. Ace: Kind of suspicious, considering he conveniently didn’t catch anything besides Arei confronting David about his secret. But if he was going to kill anyone, it’d probably be Nico.

Somewhat likely: Hu, J Hu: Everyone has been jumping on her, and honestly? Kind of justified. She’s refused to reveal the secret she has, she’s refused to reveal her own secret, and now she’s had that whole… breakdown… thing. She also has an alibi during the fake time of death, which could be intentional planning. Not to mention, she gives major Kirumi Tojo vibes, and you know how that went. She did get new sprites though, and I dunno if they’d kill her off right when she got new clothes. J: She has been JUMPING on everyone vaguely suspicious. Immediately jumped to Arturo being the culprit, then immediately jumping to David being the culprit. At this point like… girl, just keep your mouth shut, pretty please. Arei did do the same exact thing last trial, and she turned out to be innocent, however. Aside from that, she could use Arturo as an alibi, maybe. She has the universal remote, which could help her sneak up on Arei. She’s also on the title card, and she hasn’t had all that much screen time this chapter despite that.

Highest Suspect #2: Levi Look, he’s honestly getting the Hu treatment by the fandom but slightly toned down. But besides that, he is super suspicious. Arei got the murderer secret, and everyone has honestly pretty much narrowed that down to him. To be honest, he probably killed his family or something. He’s strong enough to spin the carousel for the pulley mechanism, and he stated that he was in the laundry room during 7:30 to 10, which could relate to the ball of clothes. He also hasn’t said anything particularly helpful in any way during the trial. However, I don’t know why he’d set up a fake time of death, and then not give himself an alibi during the fake time of death. Dumbass.

Highest Suspect Ever: Whit Look me in the eyes and try to tell me he’s not at least a little suspicious. I won't hold the hanging joke thing against him, as it could just be a case of unlucky phrasing, but it could also be a Celeste case, where he says something he's not supposed to (or it was subconscious). Aside from that, a lot of this evidence seems to point to him. He has an alibi during the fake time of death, and he willingly volunteered to piece together the note, possibly knowing that it would give him an "alibi" for the time of death. He would know where the old clothes were, seeing that he was there when Teruko and Hu got their new clothes. David is most likely being framed by being sent to near the place of the crime, and guess who sent him there?

You guessed it, Whit Young. He's also, like, mad suspicious for behavioral reasons. He claimed Rose's secret when she said she didn't see who owned it and no one came forward to claim it, and didn't seem all that concerned about it. It could just be his gestures vaguely non-concerned nature, but still suspicious. But wait! I can hear you asking. If Whit's the culprit, then why did he deflect the topic when the note was brought up, knowing that it could frame Eden and solidify his alibi? Why did he delay revealing David's secret, knowing that it could frame David as well? Well, dear reader, let me explain. For our first issue, it comes down to Teruko's nature. She's distrusting, blunt, and won't leave any issue that could help solve the murder alone. If Whit was the culprit, he could safely assume that Teruko would eventually get the note out of Eden, so he could derail the topic while knowing it would eventually come up and make his "alibi" and look less suspicious at the same time. For the second issue, it comes down to Whit himself and a key point in his personality: his intuition.

In the first trial and his FTE, he makes a point of saying that he knows things because of his strong intuition. Hell, it's bolded every time he says it. Consider this: what if his intuition had already made him suspect David as not who he said he was, and Whit finding out that the manipulator secret belonged to him and David lying about his secret only solidified this? From the second screenshot, it can be inferred that Whit knows when people are acting. If Whit knew David was lying, being manipulative and trying to cause a murder, then he could frame him, knowing that it would be likely that David would break down and reveal his true colors when accused, only serving to incriminate him further. Another thing: the main reason Whit admits to having David's secret is that Charles realizes he is lying. What if Whit, using his intuition again, is banking on that fact? It's a note situation - he knows it'll be revealed anyway, so he can delay it and make himself look like he's hiding the secret out of concern for David's career. But wait! I can hear you asking again. Whit set off the BDA! He couldn't have set off the BDA if he was the culprit! First, let's talk about Whit and Eden's thoughts on searching the playground. Neither one of them particularly wanted to go. Eden is explained by her probably wanting to prepare herself for seeing Arei's body, or not wanting to believe that Arei is dead. But what about Whit? There's no real explanation as to why he was apprehensive to go in. If my theory is true and he is the culprit, he would probably investigate on the first floor so he doesn't mess up the BDA, but Teruko grabbing him and Eden ruined that. He was less expressive about it than Eden, but he could have been just as worried, if not more. So basically, it’s sheer dumb luck that Teruko grabbed him, but we’ve already seen that one before (Read: Min arriving at the exact time Charles left). Anyway, what I'm trying to get at here is that someone else saw the body before Eden and Teruko. And who would be the most likely to have done that? David Chiem, who's already trying to kill us all. Not to mention, he tried to stop MonoTV from revealing the secrets because Arei was missing.

Considering he probably isn't the culprit, it kind of seems like he knew someone was already dead. The mystery discoverer could also be Veronika, who's already said she just wants to see things be interesting, but I don't know about that.

My only grey areas in this theory are why Whit would want to escape, as this would kill Charles, and the fact that he was kind of friends with Arei. Anyway, I already wrote 9 paragraphs about Whit being the culprit, so if he ends up being innocent, this'll just be embarrassing. Let me know your thoughts.

[crimsongrimoire]

what are some of your favorite tropes sentences sayings phrases reoccurring processions of words in fics, either to read or write? Specifically like how in my opinion "fuck me until I can't X" and "nestled until they fell asleep" have such vibes?

and, are there any that you want to throw right in the trash? Like how "fuck my womb" makes my stomach feel moist (derogatory)

i haven't read much of anything fic wise in a While but some things stick with you idk. I could ctrl + f through my fics to find in depth stuff regarding writing but ill just go off the cuff

Good™️:

the ones mentioned are also extremely good actually. the vibes are there

i was actually thinking the other night about how weirdly horny the word ache is? i have no idea how to articulate it. it just Is. throb also. the vibes.

"come over here and do something about it" about literally anything

usage of the phrase "getting [one's] knees dirty" in the context of like. oral. hear me out. there's something about it

pay attention/eyes on me/look at me kind of stuff. the inherent homoeroticism of redirecting the attention of the object of your affections idk

one calling the other Theirs to a third party

for a non horny one, "you really don't need to worry about me" / "I DONT CARE IF I NEED TO IM GOING TO CAUSE YOU CLEARLY DONT! BE CAREFUL!!"

for klk specifically. light/dark symbolism. sun/moon symbolism. star symbolism. drives me insane affectionate

"keep moaning my name like that" and related phrases

i never feel like i do them enough justice consistently to have posted one but like. soft aftercare is so everything

shovel talks are endearing tbh. as with anything it depends on the execution but like conceptually i like them

"I beg your pardon?" / "then beg" is it cheesy and kinda dumb. for sure. however. it's funny

trash:

that one too, mostly because. like. that aint how that works. that would Hurt. and any talk of pregnancy really. "im gonna knock you up" type shit. like... just. don't. it's not sexy, esp as someone who doesn't want kids nor the ability to have them really its just. why... i don't get what's sexy about it. and the fact that oftentimes it's never been something tagged in consideration of. like yall have fun however that kills my investment and would likely make me wish i didn't start whatever I was reading. cringe inducing at best

hot take: yanderes as a general concept. always has been severely not my thing. everyone have fun, i honestly just find it annoying. immediate filter out of any results of whatever im looking at, full stop. there's a handful in some games and such i like and i straight up ignore those characters unironically I have zero time for that in my life. i bring it up cause it tends to be shoehorned into like ANY big weeby fandom SOMEWHERE

ngl it's hard to think of specific phrases i really haven't read anything in a while. i personally dislike the word chuckle idk. i don't mind seeing it places but it feels weird in my own writing. same goes for Most Words For Pussy, The Biggest Reason Why I Haven't Written Basically Any Femslash, All The Words Just Suck And It Feels Weird.

minor grammatical pet peeve actually. slightly bothered when dialogue tags are misused. like. "dialogue," she smiled. putting an expression after a comma rather than articulating anything about how it was said at all. like either close the statement and have that be unrelated or add some kind of other descriptor to the speech. slight but noticeable to me

[thegothicviking]

Can't say I've slept well last night..

Considring the death threat (?) I got on my voicemail last night.. the signal was trash so I could only make up A few words of what I think was "bitch" "fitta" ("cunt") and "dø" ("die".) The L ast one could also have been "bø" ("booh") but that's unlikely.

Context: Me and an ex friend pranked a guy over 4 years ago (nothing serious!) But he is apparently still pissed about I t.

I've blocked his number so all calls and texts are denied but he can leave me little sweet voice messages. Which he apparently did for the first time last night, since 4 years ago. Hmm... sus!

I'm starting to see some pattern with other events that has happened in my life. His anger might have been fueled up by my ex friend, after I had to leave her and now she might have told him some lies and played the victim. Don't know if all of this is connected or I'm just being paranoid. I'm hoping for the last tbh! 😂

Well angry man.. thanks to the fact that you're calling me on your work-number I've now found out your full name (via the company's employees list) and after that it was pretty easy to find your home address, AND your private number! AND I now also know that you live with your mom and your sister/wife! So yeah..I could call you too to harrass you on your private number or I could even travel and visit your apartment and say hi to your mom. But I'm not gonna do that! It's still nice to have all this info about you too though :) so you can no longer hide on your work phone with only a nickname that you gave me and my ex friend back in late 2020. I've got the info saved. Just in case. So there is that. Also: the idea to prank you was my ex friend's idea to begin with. Not mine. No matter what else she tells you. But you're gonna believe her anyway so I'm not even gonna bother to convince you.

(Btw I know he will prob never read this. But its fun to pretend that he will!)

So I f anything happens to me..the n you'll know And I've had a blast talking to y'all! ❤

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Trash Talk 02

I feel like the byordom is getting to me bcs MY FRENDS WERE OFFLINE FOR THE WHOLE DAY!

Now they might be busy with life, which I understand. But thens theres me... W h o d o e s n t h a v e a l i f e I R L .

And I have been mainly drawing to get rid of the complete boredom but now my necc hurts + with the added fact my fixations on certain things can be short (bcs I have many things wrong with me) I get bored easily.

SO IDK TBH- I SRSLY DONT WANNA TALK TO PPL ATM I FEEL LIKE A JERKWAD BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE A JERK FOR NOT TALKING TO THEM EVEN IF I WANT TO! I'm just in this infinite state of frikin byordom & honestly why the hell even I talking to ppl in the first place?

If I was a normal kid... just a normal.. LIKE EVERY ONE ELSE IN MY SKOOL! I wouldn't be this way. BUT NOPE! Whatever being that created me out of spite just to make me suffer must be LAUGHING at my infinite byordom & my lack of actually trying to focus on one topic. (& the fact I want to talk to ppl)

Idk man.. its like 8 pm now & my necc still frikin hurts from drawing & honestly... maybe I should take a break... But I have the fear someone I know is prob gonna get angry at me for not posting/talking to them everyday even though all I am doing to myself is painful but I could care less.

Yeh imma sign off now or whatever. Still am gonna draw like tomarrow but imma prob gonna have trouble actually waking up & suspecting a message on my phone. (Like the insane individual I am)

[olderthannetfic]

Yeah. It is a topic where there's a real conversation to be had there. The thing about it is that I remember seeing much the same conversation going back for decades, and it's often imposed on people with a side of "Clearly, you haven't thought about this".

One problem I see is that I don't think you can adequately talk about it without people discussing their full media and/or creative diet.

When the subtext is "And then you will write f/f fanfic and the numbers on AO3 will look different", it's a nonstarter because women or f/f are often not the issue: f/f fanfic is.

I've got a drawer novel sitting around about a Mary Sue-y super assassin woman, but I chose to go with selfpub m/m when I started writing for money for real. I've got an idea for a f/f superhero novel, but I probably won't get around to it any time soon because it doesn't go with my author brand at the moment, and I don't write fast enough to handle multiple pseuds at this point in my life. It would make a great screenplay too. I'd make my hot gay cousin who wants to be a stunt woman be in it. But I just don't have the capacity to make that happen, sadly.

A lot of fans write about female leads in their original work but male characters in their fanfic. A lot of indie m/m authors also write f/f but find it doesn't sell and/or their audience finds it doesn't read the same as their m/m work. (TBH, I find that the horniness tends to be lower than with f/f by dedicated f/f writers, which I don't like, but the amorphous queerness around orientation and gender tends to be more to my taste relative to stuff people call "lesfic" that has gold star vibes lurking everywhere and normie gender stuff.) I hear readers have similar issues with traditionally published authors who write both f/f and other stuff.

I'll often see vids that are f/f that are the hottest thing I've ever seen, and I suspect it's because I don't have to contend with exactly how a sex scene is written or a nuanced exploration of the inside of a character's head. In many ways, I'd prefer a 50-episode drama or a novel series, but my own pickiness gets in my way. I hear this story from many others.

I think a lot of people do have deep thoughts about why things like this are true for them personally. They're a little samey after this many years of the conversation, but they're still pretty interesting.

I do think one component of all this is familiarity, so a lack of reading stacks of f/f trash romance leads to it being hard to write one of your own, while an entire childhood of bodice rippers or Georgette Heyer or danmei webnovels or whatever provides a template there. That's something a person could try to change for themselves if they had a mind to.

And then, when one does have the above conversation, it's usually under the noses of people who already spend all their time on female blorbos who are understandably like "What am I, chopped liver?" and "Well, don't force yourself, honey!"

...

Of course... it would probably help if so many of the conversations did not start with "The men you find sexually attractive are not actually sexually attractive and you're stupid for thinking so!!!"

The way to make f/f more common on AO3 and in fandom in general would be to get more straight dudes writing fic.

A large part of the reason that m/m is as popular as it is is because women who find men attractive are one of the largest fic-writing demographics.

Men are less common in fandom, there's a decent handful of gay men writing and reading m/m fanfic, but they are not the primary demographic being served here and most gay men go elsewhere for their by-gays-for-gays smut and fiction. Fandom is a m/m heavy space *because* it's primarily a female space.

If you want more f/f, the way to get it is to invite in the people who like it already, and the largest demographic that wants to write about hot women is straight men.

--

[heartandfangs]

I OWE YOU— PART FIVE.

GENRE Roommates AU, Playboy!Jake, Virgin!Reader, BestFriend!Heeseung, Heavy Smut, Slight Angst, Fluff (if you squint)

PAIRING f!Reader x Jake/Jayeun, f!Reader x Heeseung

WARNINGS 18+ ONLY, Cursing, Possessiveness, Manipulation, LOTS of jealousy, Implied one-sided feelings, Unresolved feelings, Trash talking, Alcohol, Flirting, Slight slow-burn, Morally-grey characters, Sexual inexperience, Sexual tension, Anxiety, Making out, Teasing, Finger sucking, Grinding, Breast worship, Brief rimming (very brief), Fingering, f!Receiving Oral sex, m!Receiving Oral sex, SoftDom!Heeseung, Sub!Reader

WORD COUNT +13k

SUMMARY In which you realize that your playboy roommate and your best friend share one common thread: their uninhibited desire for you. With Jake giving you the cold shoulder, you choose to indulge the latter this time around… consequences be damned. 

AUTHOR'S NOTE Even if you're not caught up with the series, if you love Hee, you'd enjoy this part alone. 🫠  It came out a lot more romantic than I intended, but Heeseung's character just brought it out of me and it's not even in his own series– that's how badly he's been coming for me! 💗 But tbh it was a long time coming and set up in part 3, so letting soft dom Heeseung have his reign here. I added extra smut for you all which is why it took a week more than I said it would to post, but I think it was worth it. Fucking enjoy 🫶 I'm officially deceased, you’ll find me in my coffin ⚰️ (See end of work for cont. A/N)

YOU WISH, Part I, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Masterlist

© 2022, Heart and Fangs. All rights reserved. Do not translate or post anywhere.

TAGLIST @skzenhalove, @axartia, @stbwe, @duolingofanaccount, @writingmochi, @thejjrl@fan-zhan, @kazuhugs, @sweetnightleeheeseung, @rpkth, @btskpop17, @markleeisdabestdrug

It perturbed you how much your body yearned to be near Jake Sim.

Seemingly, Jake shared the same sentiment, despite having vied for your attention one day and then ignored you entirely the next, right after you rejected his kiss during your last encounter. It must've been the tipping point after you cruelly renounced your heated first kiss with him, chalking it up to anything but feelings despite you initiating it. 

However, you were nearly beginning to wonder if you called it too soon; his feelings for you, that is. Not to say that you were in love with him; you knew better than that. But after much thought and a healthy amount of denial on your end, you were beginning to realize Jake had fallen for you in a twisted sense.

It was a challenging notion to wrap your head around. If he had, at what point had Jake fallen and why?

After all, that wasn't what Jake was about.

Your rejection of his romantic advances drew such a strong reaction from him, though, like the man wasn't sure what to do with himself. As if it was his first time dealing with such feelings, but he had to have gotten his heart broken at least once, right?

Although, it really seemed like Jake was infatuated rather than in love– because you were the sole one he'd yet to get his hands on from the start.

So, the dissonance in his behavior made sense after what had transpired between you two in that short time frame. Callousness was a reaction you hadn't anticipated coming from Jake– and you would never admit out loud that it hurt.

The ghost of Jake's touches lingered on every inch of your skin and had you rutting into your pillow late at night when the vivid memories of him persisted. A consequence of your carelessness, even though you knew what you were getting yourself into. 

Jake had shown you facets of himself you hadn't even known existed beyond his mischievous persona and capricious way of living. He'd push your boundaries in ways that irked you but also expanded your little world. It was such an intriguing dynamic, one you could imagine yourself exploring further with him… perhaps without strings attached.

You never thought you'd come to consider such a thing, especially after how cold you've been with Jake and how precious things like first kisses once were to you. 

Although Jake never verbally expressed it, he clearly thought otherwise and seemed to want you romantically. He was growing attached to you in ways he hadn't shown to have been in the past.

One kiss– and suddenly yours and his intentions swapped. How was that even remotely possible for him, let alone for you?

Two weeks had gone by begrudgingly slowly and each day was like a hellish repeat of the day prior, consisting of an unbearable tension you hadn't known was possible to exist between two people.

Jake would either rise earlier in the day or stay in later than you just to avoid contact. If either of you did happen to pass by each other in the common areas of the flat, no words were exchanged, and god forbid you made eye contact.

It was a good thing life had many distractions. 

Being a working member of society meant that you were more than eager to get out of the four walls of your bedroom after being at your desk all week. Saturday evening arrived like the answer to your prayers, and since you didn't go out much, you intended to have as much fun as you could within your means.

A notification sounded from your phone, informing you that the Uber you were currently in was approaching one of your favorite speakeasies. The sound pulled you out of your thoughts, the blur of buildings starting to look familiar. 

By recent habit, you tapped on your photo album to indulge the source of your guilt and irritation. Turns out when Jake stole your phone those couple weeks ago, he filled your gallery with ridiculous selfies— several blurry, taken at hilarious angles, and others, obnoxiously flirtatious, as if he intended to get a rise out of you.

He was shirtless in all of them, which only made your nerves hum, and your palms sweaty.

One photo in particular always made you feel hazy– Jake had fallen over your sheets, sweatpants hung low on his hips, and a veined hand wrapped around his neck like a choker, his demure, heavy eyes telling of his arousal for you.

Fantastic— As if you needed a fucking souvenir photo for that day.  

In frustration, you slammed your head back on the headrest, drawing a concerned look from your Uber driver in the mirror. The car had come to a momentary stop in a free parking space. 

"Sorry," you quickly apologized and hurried out of the car onto the busy streets of downtown.

A red neon sign that read Deities & Denizens glowed several feet above you, indicating that you were at your stop. You glanced at your reflection in a tinted window and smoothed your fingers over the soft velvet fabric of your dress, ending at the tops of your thighs.

The black dress dipped sharply to reveal the skin of your decollete, the panels wrapped and tied to the side of your waist. Its long fitted sleeves would keep you warm, as would your trusty thigh-high, suede boots you'd chosen for the night.

Thin, woven strands of leather kept them tied behind your thighs, and at the end of each dangled a silver horned charm. The heel gave you a couple of inches of height without compromising comfort, along with the false hope that you might have a chance at appearing less like a child next to Heeseung.  

You pocketed your phone into your dress and ran your fingers over the simple diamond choker resting at the base of your neck; it was a lovely gift from your mother, who you hadn't seen in a long time, and you've only worn it out on occasion.

A gust of wind from the cars driving by swept your hair, and the bustling street activity along with the chatter of people caused a thought to intrude on your mind.

What if I had taken Jake instead?

With a frustrated huff, you dropped your arms to your sides and yanked open the door to the venue.

Why would I even think such a thing? I'm here to spend time with–

"Hey."

To your left stood the man of the hour with his arms crossed over his chest.

Immediately your face brightened upon seeing Heeseung, who gave you a small smile in return.

"What are you doing over there brooding against the wall for?"

"Waiting for you, of course," Heeseung replied.

Well, you set yourself up for that one.

"Yeah, I know– Sorry I'm a bit late."

Although Heeseung was as much of a wallflower as you were, his exquisite fashion sense consistently garnered attention from anyone in close vicinity. Dressed head to toe in black with a sleek leather coat and dress boots, he must've been drawing glances from strangers since he arrived, even appearing slightly intimidating to you despite knowing him.

Heeseung pushed off the wall and made his way towards you. He easily pulled you into his arms as you rose to the tips of your toes, barely able to thread your arms around his neck in a warm embrace without his help.

Immediately, you appreciated the proximity; after all, it was the first physical human contact you've had in weeks. Almost wanting to just fall limp against Heeseung, you opted to rest your cheek against his shoulder and take in the scent of his cologne. He smelled of warm musk, and subtle spice layered over crisp apples, reminding you of a crackling fireplace amid the cold woods.

Heeseung felt you relax against him and rubbed comforting circles against your back in response. 

"You looked a little distressed there; something happen along the way here?"

Coming to your senses, you slipped your arms from his shoulders, but his hands settled on your hips, keeping you close. It startled you slightly, being able to feel the outline of his natural bulge press against you. 

Breath catching, you replied, "...No. It was just a weird Uber drive. You know how those can sometimes be."

"Next time, let's just meet at your place, and we'll go from there together," he looked into your eyes, and you thought you imagined his thumb slowly dragging over the curve of your hip.

Gosh, Heeseung feels different.

"You're sweet," Taking his hand, you tugged him along to the back of the restaurant, "Next time."

His skin was warm to the touch, and you willed your palms from getting sweaty. 

Heeseung leaned down, his warm breath tickling your ear, "You look beautiful tonight."

Even amongst all the noise, his gentle voice managed to send shivers across your skin.

"It's nice pretending to be a participating member of society once in a while," You smirked up at him, fighting the urge to shy away.

"It is nice, sometimes,” he agreed.

As you weaved between groups of people and servers alike, the aroma of the food spread on each table made your stomach growl.

"This place is pretty cool; the vibe reminds me of the 1920s," He looked over his shoulder, eyeing the busy old-fashioned bar drenched in warm lights, "Is this not where we're sitting?"

"Remember, it's a speakeasy– which means the bar we're going to is hidden further in," You turned around and stood in front of him as he came to a halt, "And you have to find it."

The both of you found yourselves in the middle of a dim hallway, luxurious glass cases filled with massive blocks of ice on trays to your left, rows of large steel kegs lining the furthest back wall behind you, and a mysterious door on your right. 

An amused smile tugged at Heeseung's lips as he brushed by you and reached for the gold door knob, the most obvious choice.

He peered into it curiously before shutting the door, "That is a fancy bathroom."

You chuckled, stepping aside to watch him further explore the space while taking in… well, him. 

Somehow Heeseung had grown since you last saw him in person; his shoulders had broadened, filling out his leather coat, and the slight angle of his jaw was more mature. A stranger probably wouldn't have guessed he'd move with such grace across the stage with his long limbs, but you knew how exceptional of a performer he was. 

Everything from his subtly styled hair to the steel toe of his boots was impeccable; Heeseung naturally exuded an intriguing aura that people picked up on even when he wasn't on stage. Perhaps it came with the familiarity of being in the spotlight. You've never been the sort to care to perform in front of others, and with Heeseung, you've never had to.

Heeseung curiously ran his hand over the wall of steel kegs and shot you a questioning look.

"You're hot," you hinted.

"Am I?"

You rolled your eyes as Heeseung held his hand out to you with a glimmer in his eye, "Come on."

Without a second thought, you took his hand in yours.

Jake wove his palm over a flickering candle, hunched over his chosen glass of amber poison. Its heat stung, but only when he stayed put for too long. 

It was no different with his sexual encounters.

He was reminded of how candlelight spilled over your serene expression in the bath and the mess of feelings that overcame him after your last tryst weeks ago. How he left you on your knees in that tub after everything— after he used you.

A pang of guilt throbbed in his chest, so he swallowed a mouthful of his drink, enduring the burn down his throat. 

"So, handsome. What are you headed after this, my place or yours?" A perfectly manicured finger reached out to trace the back of his hand, and he instinctively retracted it. 

… Instinctively?

"I don't have any plans, and I'll likely be keeping it that way for the rest of the night."

The woman huffed and shot an irritated look at him, then glared across the table at Jake's more relaxed companion. 

Jake glanced over at Sunghoon, who had an arm draped around another random woman that suddenly appeared at their table about twenty minutes prior, already sipping on her third martini.

As the woman at Jake's side downed her drink, Sunghoon shrugged at his friend’s prickly demeanor. "Really, Jake? Hey Jay, can we get another—"

Said bartender quickly approached their table from the bar and directed a threat to the man under his breath, "I will personally slip cyanide into your drink if you order another Zombie, Sunghoon."

"It's for Jake; look at him. The poor guy needs to get fucked up a bit," Sunghoon insisted, brushing his fingers through his bleached locks, "And then maybe he'll tell us what the hell has been going on."

Jay gave the younger man a good look, taking in Jake’s unusual stony expression before nodding and rolling up his sleeves, "…Fine."

Just as Jay turned back to the bar, he paused in his tracks. 

Sunghoon followed the bartender's line of sight to a young woman dressed in black, never mind the man next to her. 

"Is she a regular?" He asked Jay.

Jake didn't bother to turn around or listen in to the ongoing conversation, fully caught up in his vehement thoughts about you.

Jay's attention snapped back to the task at hand, and he began pouring a couple of glasses of water behind the bar. "Even if she wasn't– don't even think about it."

"Why, you got dibs?" Sunghoon probed.

"No. She's just never come off as the type that'd give you a chance– Plus, she's brought company, for once."

Jay approached Sunghoon's short-term object of interest for the night, who was admittedly his favorite regular and her plus one, who Jay– if he were being honest with himself– was a bit envious of.

Heeseung's expression upon entering the speakeasy was absolutely priceless. His mouth fell agape upon noticing the long wall lined with rows upon rows of skulls to the left where you both stood. The walls reached the incredibly high ceiling, decorated with obscure framed paintings and portraits of people staring down at the unsuspecting diners.

On his right, several deep, inverted shelves that were tucked into the walls displayed an impressive stock of spirits and booze for the clientele's ailments. People occupied each booth and table, yet it wasn't nearly as noisy as the restaurant outside.

The room was bathed in warm, dim lighting from the individual tea lights scattered along the tables and the grand candle-lit chandelier hanging at the center of it all.

"It's like something out of Disneyland, isn't it?" You said.

"Feels like a cross between Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion," He agreed, "It's right up your alley."

"Exactly," you smiled, tugging him to your reserved seats at the closest end of the bar.

On queue, a familiar face approached you.

"Hi, Jay."

"___," He greeted, replacing the reservation plaque on the marble counter with two glasses of water, "It's been a while, and you've brought company this time."

"I have! Meet my best friend, Heeseung."

"Hello, best friend," Jay nodded at Heeseung, who returned the gesture.

"Hello."

That drew a chuckle from you just as Jay brandished a menu with a flourish and slid it across the counter, "Let me know when you're ready, love."

"I will," you said shyly, unable to help yourself when interacting with the bold bartender.

Heeseung rapped his knuckles against the marble counter while looking after Jay as he walked off. He observed you closely as you studied the small, gold foiled menu. 

You slid a hand over your stomach as it growled, "I swear, I'm about to order one of everything."

"The menu's not that big," Heeseung propped his chin up on his palm, "Why don't we?" 

"Really?" You grinned, "You gonna help me finish it all?"

"Don't I always?"

"Yeah, yeah– keep thinking you put it away better than me," You drawled, finger running down the list of specialty cocktails to choose from, "What are you thinking drinks-wise?"

"Since you know what's good here, why don't you choose for me?"

"Aw, you trust me to get you something nice and sweet for your baby taste buds?"

Heeseung pouted, "I don't have baby taste buds."

"Yes, you do, Mister I'd like extra, extra sugar in my milk tea, please."

Heeseung gently nudged you sulkily, and you mischievously made a big show of nearly slipping off your stool. Just as he caught you, your hand shot out to grip his arm and steady yourself, a bit surprised to feel his muscles flex under his jacket.

"Geez! I almost fell on my ass."

He pulled you back onto your seat with ease, "You did not—"

"Ready for some drinks?" Jay suddenly reappeared after seeing your arms flail from across the room.

You straightened up, a smile plastered over your face. "Oh, yes. He'll have the Love Note, I'll have the Fallen Angel, and we'll get one of everything off the shareables."

Off to your side, Heeseung looked curious at the names of the cocktails you rattled off. 

"I'll put those in for you…"

You thanked Jay, but it appeared he wasn't finished speaking with you.

"… So, I received an anonymous request. This shot is from the hottest guys in the room," Jay sighed loudly, holding a glass filled with a creamy citrine liquid, "And they want you to go figure out who it is."

You stared at Jay, and he visibly cringed. "Hint: it's not me."

Heeseung gave Jay a tight-lipped smile, clearly not amused.

"I completely understand if you don't want to tip me." The bartender set the single shot glass down in front of you and quickly turned on his heel to tend to other guests. 

"What the hell?" Too curious for your own good, you scanned the dark room over your shoulder.

It was only a matter of seconds before you met the sharp gaze of a handsome young man with silver hair who sat on the opposite end of the room. A woman accompanied him, and another man with his back turned to you. 

The man facing you whispered something to his companion before sending an enticing wink your way. The girl at his side sent you a nasty look at the attention you were receiving, causing you to avert your eyes.

Unsettled and feeling a heat work up your neck, you were glad Heeseung couldn't see your face.

Then his dark haired companion turned your way, appearing somewhat lethargic until his sights settled on you. The same mixture of disbelief spread across both your faces.

Jake.

Heeseung paused. "Isn't that your roommate?"

"Yes," Your stool creaked as you turned back to the counter and stared down at the shot. It smelled sugary and citrusy; Heeseung would probably like it. "Yes, and I have no clue what's going on right now."

Jake's appearance at one of your favorite bars had to be coincidental. It wasn't his idea to send a shot over and get your attention, right? Did his friends even know what you looked like? He's never had them over except girls, and you've never taken any photos together, but it's possible Jake spilled everything to them… 

Shit. Did he actually? You hadn't even told Heeseung yet, but you hadn't exactly been planning on it.

Heeseung blinked at you in silence before his eyes narrowed in on your roommate. The last time they'd seen each other was through your laptop's screen, and Jake had been all up in your space if he remembered correctly.

Clearly, something had gone down between the two of you.

Jake couldn't take his eyes off you, even as you tried to duck your head out of sight… until he felt Heeseung's scrutinizing stare.

If looks could kill.

"Shall we people watch for old times sake? I'm sure it'll make them uncomfortable if they see us whispering to each other while staring at them," Heeseung suggested. 

You couldn't help but laugh out loud despite your nerves. 

In college, there had been countless nights you'd spent together in boba cafes while people-watching and whispering made-up stories of strangers' lives for fun. 

Perhaps it was a bit juvenile and silly of you two, but the stories you two spun had you doubled over in laughter by the end of the night. The two of you always did it on the down-low, but Heeseung must've been feeling a little bolder today. 

"…What do you think about the guy with my roommate?" You asked distractedly, preferring to speculate about Jake's friend rather than himself.

Heeseung spun your stool back around, so you both faced the suspected try-hards of the night. When his hand rested on the small of your back, you straightened up in your chair.

"He's likely a player if the guy's hanging around your roommate. Probably still in college and wants to hang with the big boys. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled that stunt with the shot— tacky birds of a feather flock together." 

"Damn, you're not pulling any punches tonight, are you?" 

"I don't feel inclined to these days… it's an easy read."

Sunghoon's expression slowly shifted into a frown as he convened with Jake, who'd quickly turned his back on you.

You snickered, "I'd agree with you. The silver-haired kid probably secretly has a mommy kink."

Heeseung choked on his water, sending you into a fit of giggles only feeling a bit apologetic. He quickly recovered himself, shaking his head at you in disbelief.

"Sure you didn't pregame before meeting me here?"

"Hey, I'm here to have all the fun with you tonight!" You said.

"Right… So, what’s in our drinks?"

You shot him a sly look at how quickly he changed the subject but decided to go along with the flow.

“Love Note’s got vodka, gin & crème de violette. It's like a cloudy purple and looks a bit mysterious, but it's partly fizzy and tastes like candy. Even the presentation reminds me of you; you'll see when it comes," Heeseung found himself bashfully glancing down at his lap as you continued, "Fallen Angel supposedly has crème de menthe with gin & sugar in it. Not sure how that combination is with lime, but I thought, why not give it a try? Sometimes the names of drinks are enough to get me to taste it."

"Is menthe essentially mint? Kind of sounds like a toothpaste cocktail—"

"Don't even start," you warned, pressing a finger into his chest. 

Heeseung chuckled and you pursed your lips, the two of you sitting back to observe your surroundings again in comfortable silence.

To your annoyance, your eyes kept wandering back to Jake; you had to force yourself from staring at his back, feeling the weight of his unexpected presence on your shoulders. 

Giving Heeseung your full attention was challenging when so many things were pressing on your mind. Part of you wanted to leave after seeing Jake, but you didn't want to ruin your night with your best friend.

And even though you didn't owe Jake anything, you also felt the pressure to say something after weeks of silence, but you weren't sure what, and this certainly wasn't the place to do so.

Suddenly, the tips of Heeseung's fingers began tracing lazy shapes across your back as if he knew you'd drifted away in your thoughts. His touch sent tingles sparking across your skin, causing you to press your thighs together.

Oh gosh, what was he doing?

You felt Heeseung staring at you with a knowing look, and in a panic, you quickly reached for the forgotten shot on the counter before giving it a quick taste.

"Lemon drop. Try it," You tipped the glass towards him. 

Heeseung's long fingers curled around yours as he took the glass and knocked it back.

While Heeseung ran his tongue over his lips in consideration, you hadn't realized you were licking at your own, mirroring him. "Tastes like sour candy and vodka. I would've gotten you something different."

"Like what?"

"Just champagne, and lots of it," He said simply, setting down the empty glass.

"Quit making me out to be a drunk," you bumped his knee with yours and gave him an accusing look that had him beaming.

A chic string of notes filled your ears and drew your attention to the corner of the room; a live band had shuffled in and begun playing a sultry-sounding number that was a bit on the R&B side. Heeseung's hand dragged across your spine, causing you to squirm.

"___. Want to dance?"

You hunched your shoulders, at the thought. "Heeseung, you know I'm no good at dancing. I haven't had enough to drink yet to get into it. I really can't–"

"Dance with me," he whispered lowly.

The cocky look he gave you said you had no chance of skipping out this time. That this would be very different from the times you'd stubbornly stay on the sidelines whenever he found himself in the middle of a dance floor at the occasional family party you dragged him to.

Without a crowd to hide in, this just might be the first time in a while that Heeseung would push you out of your comfort zone. Whatever happened to the boy who let you have your way?

He threw his coat onto his seat and was already gently pulling you forward. With stiff limbs, you stumbled over to the small dance floor while hiding your face by staring at the tips of his leather shoes. 

Suddenly, you felt his warm hand brush the sides of your cheek as he delicately tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, the slightest frown pulling at his features.

"What?"

Honestly, Heeseung didn't like seeing you like this, believing that you deserve the spotlight with how beautiful you looked… And perhaps for a more selfish reason.

His gaze turned chilly as he spotted your obnoxious roommate, keenly aware of his nuisance of a friend that sent you a shot, even picking out the slick-haired bartender who seemed to have garnered your warmth. 

Heeseung turned back to you, releasing a deep breath that you didn't think much of, "I was just thinking about how popular someone is these days."

You merely scoffed, “Never.”

"Why not?" He challenged.

You gave him a look as though the answer were obvious, "I'm me."

Heeseung sighed, and decided to let it go for the time being.

Oblivious girl, he thought.

On the other hand, he found it cute how your hands tried to find somewhere comfortable to rest, frantically running over his arms and shoulders in a fuss. 

With a chuckle, he caught your shaky hands before placing one just above his chest and clasping the other with his own.

"Are you trying to tickle me?"

"No, my anxiety is just through the roof right now," you admitted.

"Let's just sway," Heeseung held you by the waist and turned you around; that way, you could only see the band playing over his shoulders rather than the curious crowd, "Easy. You can do that for me, right, love?"

He's teasing me, isn't he?

When you said nothing and merely bit your lip, looking up at him cheerlessly, Heeseung grinned and pulled you tighter against him in reassurance. 

"I hate you," You uttered while furrowing your brows at him.

That was far from what he was hoping to hear from you that night.

"... I've missed you." 

In the blink of an eye, his expression suddenly turned troubled, and you were taken aback at his seriousness. It was difficult to discern the reason for the affliction in his eyes.

"I've… missed you too." 

There was no doubt that he could feel your heart beating wildly through your rib cage while you followed his lead, stepping side to side at a pace that was way too slow for the song. Regardless, Heeseung didn't seem to care about being behind one bit, proud that you were slowly catching onto the rhythm he set for you.

The odd look in his eyes lingered, even as he masked it with a smile and praised you.

"You've got it." 

However, he placed too much trust in you when he spun you around in a twirl, your stomach lurching when you felt the heel of your shoe catch on the floor. 

You cursed as you rocked backward, trying to brace yourself to meet the hard floor. The room swirled and then went still at the oddest angle in your vision.

To your relief, Heeseung's hands effortlessly supported your back and secured your wrist, suspending you in mid-air. At the angle he held you at, the room appeared upside down, and you found that you couldn't pull yourself up without his help.

"Heeseung–"

"Relax, ___," Heeseung's lips brushed against the pulse of your neck, an unexpected moan slipping past your lips, "I'm not going to let you fall."

Oh fuck…

Blood rushed to your head and downwards— pulse throbbing between your thighs as he finally pulled you right side up, securing you against him. With Heeseung pressed between your legs for the second time that night, you realized you didn't need several drinks to make you feel intoxicated.

Your surroundings were a blur as he led you across the floor, oblivious to Jake's steely eyes searing into you with longing from across the room.

"Heeseung," You repeated, more urgently this time.

The man noticed the shift in your tone and although you tried to sound intimidating, the underlying neediness in your voice nearly set him off.

The two of you stumbled into the back hallway, the live music growing quieter, and the sound of blood rushing through your ears suddenly audible. Heeseung steadied you by the waist as he pressed near, your back quickly hitting a wall as you did your best to quiet your pants. 

Deeply affected by the culmination of his touches and whispers against your skin all night, you struggled to get your thoughts in order.

He just–

"What is it, ___?"

Taken aback at his nonchalance, you searched his eyes, almost crumbling under the intensity of his stare. You glanced at your boots, needing a distraction with your heart rate rapidly picking up.

"M-my boot is untied."

Heeseung blinked while you reached down to fix it, but he was much quicker than you.

Lightly dragging his hands down the sides of your body, he dropped to his knee, presenting you with an indulgent view of him at your feet.

Heeseung's nimble fingers grazed the skin of your bare thigh, causing your teeth to tuck against your bottom lip as he adjusted the suede fabric in place. He reached behind your leg and caught the thin leather tassels to tighten in a pretty knot, the horned charm dangling against your calf. 

His hands never left your skin, even as his gaze flickered up at you.

You could only stare back, the concept of time arresting for you both. The slightest of Heeseung's touches made your core clench in want, thoughts devolving into a jumbling mess of insistent urges. 

He saw it all over your face, but you still tried to suppress it.

"I could've–"

Before you got another word out, Heeseung tenderly pressed his lips to the curve of your thigh, his warm palms sliding over your skin. 

Oh.

Your last shred of self-control slipped from your grasp upon feeling arousal drip down your inner thigh, your hands slapping over your mouth in shock. Heeseung pulled back his hand to inspect the wetness, assuming it to be sweat… until realization hit him.

"___," He said darkly.

"Fuck– I'm so sorry–" Wanting more than nothing but to disappear into thin air, you tried to get past him only to be caged in by his arms. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

When you clutched at his shoulders, he sought your undivided attention with piercing eyes that you refused to meet. 

"I'm sorry, I can't..."

Heeseung's voice softened as he moved his hand to thumb at your lips. "It's okay, baby. You can't what?"

To stay or to leave; your mind and body battled.

This is your best friend. 

"I can't keep it together anymore," your voice fell to a hush, but he caught it all. 

With a shaky breath, you slid your hands down his chest, feeling his taut muscles underneath his shirt– sensed him shudder with the difference in how you touched him this time.

When your gaze fell to his lips, Heeseung leaned forward until you pulled him against you, not an inch to spare between your bodies.

Once your lips slid together, you noted every detail about how he kissed you, how his tongue tasted bright and sweet as he heavily caressed yours in a way that made your mouth water. The kisses he gave you were deep and coaxing, never quite overpowering but certainly leaving you wanting so much more.

And the way he held you, no differently than the self-assured manner in which he did out on the dance floor, had you wondering why you never entirely gave yourself over to his embrace in the first place.

You hadn't noticed you were pressing your hips against his until he gripped beneath your thighs, hoisting you into his arms. Naturally, your legs wrapped around his waist, hands threading around his neck to run through the soft hair at his nape. 

Your eyes fluttered when he quickly rolled his hips into your core, your whiny moans muffled against his mouth. He was already so hard, and you were dripping.

"Oh, you like that."

"Hee—" You pulled away to catch your breath, but Heeseung merely dipped his head to press sweet kisses above the swell of your breasts, running his tongue along your gleaming choker. 

"Too much, baby?"

"No, but—" His thumbs rolled over your sensitive nipples through your velvet dress, causing more whimpers to leave your lips. "Mmn, fuck— Why are you doing this for me?"

"I could ask you the same question," he peered up at you and began to kiss along the soft line of your jaw, struck by how you melted into his touch, "Why do you think?"

"Hee, I can barely think right now," you huffed against his neck, mouthing a kiss against his pulse in return, "Back lounge, on my left. Hurry."

Once he set off in the right direction, you should've taken a moment to catch your breath but instead, you laved your tongue over the protruding curve of his throat, teasing over his adam's apple. The heat of your mouth drew a deep moan from him, a sound you’ve never heard, full of something akin to frustration and hunger.

Heeseung threw open the door, barely considering his surroundings as he laid you down onto the nearest ruby red couch, pressing you into the luxurious cushions. His hands left your body only to slam the door shut; then, they were back on your hot skin, roaming, and pleasuring, along with his lips. 

The moment Heeseung felt your nails dig into his shoulder blades, he lifted his head from the crook of your neck, voice straining as if he were holding himself back, “Use your words with me, baby. For once, don't leave me guessing what's inside your head."

Oh, you want to tell him you're aching.

That you've been aching inside since your first love left you feeling empty. That although you took back what you wanted from Jake and more, you still felt so unfulfilled for reasons you couldn't place.

Even now, as you realized Heeseung harbored feelings of some kind for you and that you'd been insistently ignoring Jake's odd ways of expressing his own. 

I'm moving too fast again, aren't I? There's a pattern here, you thought, as Heeseung captured your lips sweetly with his.

What did this pattern mean, and what did it say about yourself?

"I don't want to lose you," You gripped his shoulders, "If I let you do this, I'll lose you."

"___, you're not going to lose me." Heeseung dragged his lips against yours again, unable to get enough of you. 

Something deep inside you knew that wasn't true, not because of your lack of faith in Heeseung, but in yourself. Still, you chose to ignore it.

"You can't just do this," You finally got out in between kisses, "It's not fair."

Heeseung chuckled against your lips, "What isn't fair?"

"The way you've been acting all night, this isn't like you."

"Not like me, huh? That just proves we don't spend enough time with each other nowadays."

When your hand gripped his jaw, Heeseung bit his lip and swallowed a groan. "So, you do this to girls often? Flirt with them all night just to have your way with them?"

"No, I'm not like your roommate, ___."

The mention of Jake made you freeze, and Heeseung took note of it, eyes hardening.

"When I touch you like this," Heeseung dipped his fingers between your thighs, dragging them against your lace-covered pussy, and began to rub circles, "When I kiss you—," he licked into your mouth with a sigh, tasting your sweetness, and was delighted when you granted him more access, "— I mean it."

Momentarily, your eyes squeezed shut at the intensity of it all, your hand twisting into the collar of his shirt. 

Heeseung drove his point home when he took your hand and guided it to his lap, breath hitching when you didn't hesitate to palm his hard cock through his pants.

"Only you make me like this," he admitted breathlessly. 

You felt him up, kneading your hand firmly along his thick length. "Since when?"

Heeseung shook his head, inching ever closer, his thumb brushing over your flushed cheek. Those half-lidded eyes of his that bore into you had your panties dripping with arousal. "I don't think you would believe me if I told you, ___."

You were genuinely surprised at the suggestion of his words. 

"... I don't let just anyone kiss me, you know?"

"I know. I know," Heeseung punctuated with a graze of his lips across your collarbone, "So let me do this for you."

He switched from rubbing circles against your clit to dipping his fingers into your entrance through your panties to collect your wetness. Unhurried, the pads of his fingers spread it along the swollen lips of your pussy.

"You're soaked, baby."

You were fast approaching the point of no return for you two, if not already there.

"T-this is going to change things between us, Heeseung."

He paused. "Do you want that?"

There was nothing to be guaranteed about this exchange except for the inevitable drastic shift in your relationship with Heeseung. And even though he told you that you would never lose him as a friend, you questioned being able to guarantee him the same reassurance. Could the two of you come back from this unchanged?

You weren't sure what you wanted to be to him, and vice-versa. All you knew was that you needed him like this, right here and now. 

Why? Why am I like this?

"… I don’t know, I just know I want you." His eyes widened in slight surprise for a split second before they turned roguish, a haze overcoming them. 

"Alright then. Either you tell me what you want…" He tapped on your clit playfully, making your hips twitch "… Or you tell me when to stop."

"I don't have anything like a condom and I’m not on a pill," you admitted, knowing Heeseung would understand, "But do whatever else you want to me, Hee. Just promise me you'll make me come hard, please?"

Heeseung nodded, and it drove you nuts when he took his hand off your pussy to toy with the neckline of your dress while he leaned over your chest. 

"Oh, I can do that for you and more."

His hands slid under the deep collar of your midnight black dress to reveal your swelling breasts and pert nipples. Heeseung parted his lips as though to take one of your tits into his mouth, but his warm breath only ghosted over your nipples, a smirk slowly pulling at his lips as he watched you pull your hair out. 

Now he has the self-control to slow down?

"A-ah, don't tease me, Hee. You've teased me all night."

"You know, I've had that image of you with your pretty set of tits out in your kitchen burned into my memory ever since it happened. Hence, a bit of harmless teasing is only fair," Heeseung kneaded your breasts in his hands before he chose a peak to ripple his warm tongue against.

Inwardly you screamed, never expecting to hear those words come from Heeseung's lips, let alone see them wrapped around your tits. With the way he worked his mouth, you figured you could stay beneath him all night. 

"Haah— what have you done with the Heeseung I know and love?" You whined half-heartedly, embarrassed that he brought up that mishap of you dropping your towel in front of him over that damned video call. 

"I'm still here," He pressed a light kiss to your chin, "But I'm sure with some time you'll come to love this side of me too– So don't shy away from me, ___," he reached up to stroke your cheek tenderly before he leaned back down and switched between engulfing each of your nipples in tight, moist kisses. 

Heeseung would deepen the kiss against your breasts and suckle a little harder each time, provoking your moans to grow louder along with his pace. 

Fuck, you had almost forgotten how amazing this felt like.

Feeling desperate, you caught his wrist to lick a stripe against his palm and along the length of his fingers, needing something to do with your mouth. Heeseung slid two of his fingers past your lips, and you eagerly sucked on them, letting your tongue swirl over his knuckles and messily coat them in your saliva. 

Heeseung's groan rumbled against your breast, causing you to moan against his digits and buck your hips into his waist. His mouth slid off your tit, giving each one a final caress with his tongue, then he tugged you up to sit against the back of the smooth couch cushions.

Your head spun; it was utterly dizzying to be worshipped by him.

"Please, don’t stop touching me," you urged.

"I know, let me give it to you, baby,” Heeseung cooed, “Let me make your aching pussy feel better." 

Once he had you situated and comfortable, he sank to his knees between your legs, and just the rough appearance of him made your clit throb. Heeseung's dark hair was a bit disheveled from your entanglements, and his lips were swollen, glistening in the loveliest way. Then it hit you that he was still clothed from head to toe, to your disapproval. 

"Come here and let me take off your shirt."

Heeseung obediently sat up on his knees, and you leaned over, roughly dragging your hands down the center of his torso, the buttons to his black silk shirt giving under your fingers with a pop. He pushed back your hair to mouth kisses just under your ear, distracting you a bit. 

Once you undid his shirt, you made a point to admire his lean physique, unmistakably that of a dancer's. With too much excitement, you pushed his shirt past his broad shoulders to reveal his sculpted chest and abs.

"Wow," your brows rose as you trailed your touch down his chest, "You're literally ripped."

"It sort of comes with the job…" He glanced down at the carpet, a small smile tugging at his lips. 

There was that shy boy you were all too familiar with, but the moment Heeseung met your eyes again, he'd switched back to his current self, his gaze abounding with desire– and suddenly, you were the one faltering under his attention.

His bulge had remained prominent in his pants and empathizing with his needs, you reached down to touch him. However, he caught your hand.

"Let me take care of you first," Heeseung pulled you into a heated kiss, palms stroking along your inner thighs.

Oh god.

It was impossible to keep track of how many times Heeseung kissed you so far in the night, but somehow, each one felt sweeter than the last. 

"Still wet for me?"

"Yes," you shuddered as he trailed kisses down your stomach, hovering over your clothed mound.

Heeseung slipped his fingers under the lacy waistband of your panties and peeled the soaked fabric back from your pussy. He was enraptured with the way the strands of your slick fell against your skin, the scent of your arousal making his entire body ache.

"So pink and pretty," He sat back and spread his knees to steady himself between your legs, "Have you tasted yourself, ___?"

Flustered, you hesitated to answer, but when Heeseung inclined his chin, the truth came out, "...Yes."

"Naughtier than I thought," Heeseung tugged off your panties from your ankle and shot you a mischievous look when he brought the soaked fabric to his lips, "Bet you taste sweet."

He wouldn't—

Heeseung ran his tongue over the pool of wetness on your lace panties, collecting your arousal on his taste buds. The feverish look he sent you had you reeling.

“Hee…”

"I was right, but I think you're sweeter from the source." 

Speechless, your face burned, and your clit tingled as he tucked your panties into his back pocket and pulled you closer to him by your hips.

"Guess I'll just have to find out."

Heeseung dragged the tip of his tongue around your engorged lower lips, coming teasingly close to your clit just to blow a cold gust of air on it. 

"Oh my god, Hee, please," Your body trembled with unbearable tension as you tried to lift your hips towards him, chest heaving because of his torment on your body. "Don't tease—"

Finally, Heeseung flattened his tongue and sloppily lapped up your slit to capture your clit against his lips. You threw your head back as a moan ripped from your throat, eyes squeezing shut in pleasure. There was no way the sensation of getting eaten out could ever get old to you. Although it was only your second time, you were positively addicted.

And Heeseung devoured you with fervor, the feelings he'd built up for you over the years finally releasing through this outlet of pleasuring you. He continuously rolled his tongue over your clit, and suckled kisses over the nub, the moist sounds mixed with his muffled groans filling your ears.

He felt so soft on your pussy— a perfect mix of gentle and frenzied to push you over the edge. 

"Ahn, fuck, you’re so good at this..." You praised while stroking Heeseung's hair away from his eyes; you were surprised to see the immense fondness in them. 

With a twinge in your chest, you realized there was no way you were his first, not with how skilfully he used his tongue. When did your Heeseung grow up in between graduating from university and the present day? 

Heeseung noticed your expression waver and immediately picked up the pace, pulling you back into the moment. He wriggled his tongue back and forth on your clit, and held you open by your thigh while his middle finger dragged up your entrance.

"A-ah! I haven't yet…"

With much difficulty, Heeseung released your clit with a smack and looked over you curiously. "You haven't what yet, baby?"

"I haven't fingered myself yet," You caught your breath, trying to read his reaction.

"Oh," He considered your words while playing with your wetness by circling his thumb over your pussy, "I'd rather we do what you're comfortable with then, baby."

"Well, I want to try it with you… if you go slow." You nibbled on your lip, trying to control yourself when Heeseung's insistent touches kept you squirming.

"Yeah? I promise I'll be very gentle. Tell me if you don't like it, and we'll stop," Heeseung rubbed his cheek against your thigh, his sweet eyes crinkling as he gave you a pleased smile, "I wanna know all the things that make you tick..."

With that, his mouth was back on your pussy, lovingly working you open and getting you back into the mood, so you were thoroughly soaked to take his fingers.

Knowing how much you liked it, Heeseung reached up to squeeze your tits and rub at your sensitive nipples, eliciting a muffled moan from you as struggled to stay quiet. The combined stimulation of all your sweet spots had you reeling, the start of an orgasm building in your core.

Heeseung pulled back only to cover his index and middle finger with his own saliva as he observed your conflicted expression from under his lashes. 

In that moment, he realized he’s never wanted to ruin you more than now.

Swiping his tongue over his lips, he twisted a single finger against your entrance, mixing his saliva with your slick. At the slightest pressure, your pussy gushed with arousal.

"Hnhn, H-Hee–"

"Relax, baby, you can let me in. I'll go slow, promise. One finger at a time."

Determined to keep from clenching, you released a breath and calmed your nerves, your hands moving to squeeze your tits out of comfort. Heeseung took the opportunity to press into your warm folds, and you felt him nudge even deeper inside you.

"You're doing so well for me, ____. Want me to keep going?"

"Yes," you nodded and felt his knuckles slowly push past your slit to stroke against your velvet walls.

"Oh shit–" You seized around his digit and spilled more of your wetness onto his hand.

"Feel that, how deep I am?" Heeseung felt so hot, rubbing your insides so wonderfully, and it was just the effect of his single finger.

"T-this is intense..." 

"Your body knows it was made to take this," his voice deepened, "See?"

Heeseung took his sweet time, letting you feel every sensation of him slowly pumping in and out of your tightening walls. A surge of wetness accompanied his fingers each time he pressed in, your insides overreacting to his intrusion while you mesmerized him.

"God, you won't stop dripping, baby," he remarked in awe, swiping his tongue along your pussy to lap up your wetness. 

"A-another," you splayed your hands out against the velvet sofa and coerced him with a grind of your hips, feeling as if you were about to go insane.

Immediately Heeseung appeased you; he worked a second finger into your tightness, attempting to stretch your walls that resisted him. So he eased out slightly— pressing back in at the halfway point— and peppered your thighs with kisses. At the same time, he thumbed your clit to give you a break you didn't realize you needed.

Of course, you thought he was only teasing you to death, and two could play at that game.

"More," you untied your dress completely, letting it fall open while you fondled your breasts seductively from above him, "I want more."

"Need more of my fingers inside of you, baby? Is one not enough for this tight pussy?" Heeseung smirked at how quickly your demeanor shifted in comparison to just before he began to finger you.

The intense pressure in his pants persisted, but he was doing his damndest to keep himself in check, determined to see you come undone first. Because the moment you walked into the lobby, he felt it in the air, in the way you nearly dissolved in his arms; you needed this.

"Yes, yes— need more of you," you begged.

So Heeseung didn't hesitate to resume fitting his knuckles past your walls, and once he felt your insides give, he filled you with his fingers. The man didn't give a damn about your slick spilling past his wrist and soaking into the velvet texture of the sofa— he was much too preoccupied with the way your beautiful body writhed under him, testing him.

The stretch of his fingers was perfect, your luscious moans and the deep flush over your skin incredibly telling of your pleasure.

"Ahn, haah, Hee…"

Heeseung curled his fingers against a sweet spot deep inside of you, and laved his tongue over the expanse of your pussy, sucking tenderly at your clit.

“R-right there,” you sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut. 

There was no way you'd last any longer at this relentless pace; you were already arching off the cushions, and Heeseung had to hold your hips down with his free hand to finish you off.

He moaned deeply against your clit upon feeling your fingers thread through his hair to brace yourself against him, his lips and tongue working together to suckle and plunge into your pussy ‘till you spilled your sweetness against him. 

"Oh god, oh god, ohhh god…"

"C'mon, sweetheart," Heeseung sped up and slid his fingers from your entrance only to twist them back in at the perfect angle, "Want you to soak yourself, want to taste you on my tongue for the next week— come on me, baby."

"Heeseung– Hee–" Your hips jerked against his face once, twice— and you nearly blacked out from the ecstasy of his tongue shaking against your clit, his fingers heavily stroking your insides even though you squeezed him like a vice. 

You were falling apart in a way you never have before, the closest you've ever been to being filled, and you could almost cry from the crashing waves of pleasure flooding your body. Everything felt so blindingly sweet; it was incredible.

When your tremors began to subside, you could barely open your eyes and prop yourself up to look at him, taking in one of the biggest messes you've ever been a culprit of— from the soaked cushion underneath you to Heeseung's cum stained lips and chin. His reddened cheeks and jaw were glistening as well and you felt like fainting on the spot. 

Heeseung wasn't quite done with you because he pressed your knees into your chest and buried his hot tongue inside you with a deep squelch. He continued to lap lower between your cheeks, then back over your taint, and along your folds to kiss your swollen nub.

"Mmmn," He hummed against your skin teasingly, and there was no way you could hold yourself up anymore, so you fell back with a breathy moan, fingers tugging on anything of his that you could grab hold of.

"Fuck, Hee!"

An excess of heat spread across your face, body trembling from Heeseung's rather passionate acts. Pleased with your reactions, he sat back and massaged his palms over your legs as helped you stretch them out, a wince pulling at your features.

"Such an obedient pussy. You took my fingers so well for your first time, baby," Heeseung smiled, mouthing along your thigh.

How were you supposed to move a muscle after that? You felt drunk out of your mind.

"T-that felt so good, Hee."

"Yeah? How good?"

All you could do in response was tug him against your lips for a kiss that lasted until you both had to break for air. 

Why was it so easy to kiss him?

Heeseung's eyelids lowered as he stood up and slid against your side. "Huh, so good enough for a second time?"

"Maybe," You shoved at his chest, and he fell back against the sofa cushions while you climbed over him, "It was good enough for me to want to do something about it right now, so I'll let you choose."

You steadied yourself over his lap on the sofa and ran your fingernail along his pant zipper, still a bit shaky from your orgasm. "When you come, do you want my pussy rubbing on your cock or my tongue?"

Heeseung looked genuinely conflicted. "...What if I want a little bit of both?"

"Both?" You questioned, unsure if you should be flattered or taken aback, "For you, I could make an exception… Why, you want me every which way that badly, baby?"

Heeseung grazed your chin with his thumb. "___, I'm just being greedy since I haven't seen you in so long."

"… Tell me, why all of this all of a sudden?"

Heeseung settled back against the couch with a sigh and pulled you onto his lap, quietly considering your question. You let him, but neither of you moved besides his palms caressing over your hips. Part of you was hoping to get some insight into his feelings for you without this being an outright interrogation. 

"It may seem sudden to you, but it's not for me," He admitted, “Back then, I leaped at any opportunity to hang out, like when you'd invite me to study at your favorite boba shop after classes. You were always the focused sort, and I admired you for it, but when we'd sit at those long tables, and you'd lay your head on my lap while you slept— well my thoughts would run wild."

"Seriously?" You smirked, "How wild?"

"Shamelessly so. The depraved side of me thought about you laying on your stomach next to me and quietly unzipping my pants to suck on my cock while no one was looking. The equally terrible, naive side of me wanted to pull a Sleeping Beauty, but I knew I would've gotten my ass beat, and rightfully so."

Holy shit.

"That’s so… I can't believe you thought about me that way," You murmured, despite the reframing of your innocent memories with Heeseung making your face burn.

"I know, but can you blame me? I mean," He ran his fingers up the side of your waist, admiring your figure, "Look at you, you're beautiful."

"I am so embarrassed right now," You admitted under your breath.

He held your hands against his chest and chuckled when you started shrinking away. What else were you supposed to do under such circumstances? Heeseung was the sweetest, but there was only so much attention you could take in a night.

"Hey, don't get shy with me because that's not all."

"It's not?"

"No. ___, you had your shit together, and I was just a kid who probably wouldn't have survived university without you whipping my ass into gear. I always looked up to how you took care of the people around you, even if it was your special brand of tough love."

You stifled a laugh by biting down on your lip, taking in his words. 

"I felt special being one of the few, but I knew you had a reputation for being a bit of a heartbreaker. People who dared to ask you out never stood a chance," Heeseung smiled, then hesitated, "... I never got the chance to tell you, but I got into some relationships after we graduated. One was a little more serious than the other, or so I thought."

He failed to hide the disappointment and hurt in his expression when your features wilted in confusion. It was impossible to identify the untold feelings you experienced in that very second, but most of them had to do with the astonishing fact that Heeseung had fallen in love when you weren't looking; when you should have been looking out for him as his best friend.

"They didn't work out, and it was for reasons out of my control," He glanced at you, and was touched to see your concerned expression, "But you know how it goes sometimes."

Heeseung knew about your first love, which you'd shared with him long ago— but he didn't know about Jake. 

Stunned, your mind raced for something to say in response. Even though you nodded slightly and remained quiet, he could see you processing his words with a forlorn expression.

"It's okay. It's one of those things you come out stronger from, you know?" Heeseung reassured you, even though it should have been the other way around, "I only brought that up because I could never get enough of you back then— even now."

Absentmindedly, he ran his hands down your arms; his even gaze slowly descending your body, making you even more breathless, in your emotional state.

"I always wished you were my first, it made the most sense, but I made my choices. I guess I was too reserved with my feelings and didn’t realize I should be a little more honest with myself until we started doing our own separate thing. It's hard, but I've been trying to be better at that." 

"Heeseung."

Just the way you sighed his name had him lightheaded as if he weren't already hanging on a thread with you in his arms. It was almost too much when you cupped his cheek with your palm. His eyes fluttered shut for a mere moment before they took you in with deep affection.

Heeseung continued, "I know you, ___, so tell me later when you've taken some time to think. Way down the line, after we've caught up and you've given me the time of day to properly express everything to you," He pressed close to you, his lips barely brushing yours, eyes steady, "But please don't make me wait too long. I'm here when you need me... when you want me."

"Like now?" You asked, already knowing his answer.

"Yeah— like now."

With a gentleness that threatened to undo you entirely, Heeseung moved his lips against yours, causing a fluttering in your stomach that was reminiscent of what should have been your first.

So many should-haves and could-haves.

However, Heeseung in all of his abilities was intent on disallowing you to dwell too long on the past. His restless lips on your skin and hard body beneath yours served as a reminder that in the present moment, he wasn't anywhere in the world but right here with you.

The entire expanse of your skin felt ultra-sensitive under his touch because of your last orgasm, but he still pushed your limits. His thumbs rolled over your puffy nipples, the addition of his insatiable kisses bringing them to pleasured peaks while you panted sweetly, and soon enough, you were dripping from between your thighs onto the dark fabric of his pants.

"A-ah," You gasped against his neck and bucked your hips against his waist when you felt him drag his middle finger between your folds and circle your clit. He did it again, swiping at your slit and pulling back a few inches to see your pre-cum string along his fingers.

"Look at you falling apart on me. Your body can't get enough, can it?"

"Can't imagine how you feel, Hee," You shot back, even though you were about to lose it, "You must be aching."

"I just might be," Heeseung grunted and lightly squeezed your jaw, “Think you could take it if I stuffed your adorable cheeks with my cock, baby?"

"Yes,” you breathed.

“Good answer.”

With that, you were quickly undoing the closure of Heeseung's pants, wanting to feel the heat of his cock against your pussy and tongue, in whichever order he wanted. He strained under the layers of fabric, but once you tugged his pants and black briefs low enough on his hips, you dipped past his waistband and seized his cock.

You salivated at the gorgeous sight of him; Heeseung's thick girth was incredibly hot to the touch, pulsing against your hand with considerable length. Your finger traced along the ridge of his tip up to his bubbling slit, wanting to taste him.

You slid off his lap to kneel between his spread thighs, and god, did he look gorgeous staring down at you with darkened eyes and a flush across his cheeks. His bare chest rose and fell irregularly, and his muscular thighs on either side of your body flexed under your ministrations.

"Fuck," Heeseung groaned when the first thing you chose to do was to press a kiss to the head of it, wetting your lips with his pre-cum as you locked eyes with him. You gripped him at the base with both hands and coated his cock with more of your saliva, gliding your mouth along the sides of his length and sucking messily at his overflowing tip. 

He was so incredibly tasty.

"Sucking my cock perfectly," Heeseung ran his hands through your hair, doing you a favor by holding it back from your face. Grateful, you hollowed your mouth around his cock and sucked continuously, ignoring the ache in your jaw from his size, making sure to adequately accommodate him. His shaft slid against your face when you'd lick along his base and mouth at his balls, smearing saliva and pre-cum across your cheeks. 

"Like that, Hee?" You asked around a mouthful of him.

"Ah god— Yes, yes. Wrap your hand beneath my balls and fist my cock with your other hand. Good,” Heeseung reveled at your acquiescence; it showed through his commands and praises, "Suck a little harder; that's it. Show me what you've got, baby."

Heeseung could feel himself grow desperate when you continued to pump his cock with one hand and took his balls captive in your other grip, how you slurped and stretched your lips around them; holding his gaze all the while. Even with absolute self-control, he was slipping under your touch; every graze of your mouth seemed beyond his reality.

Anyone would slip, he reasoned, due to his adoration for you all that you were, from your humanizing faults to the few passions you held dear and everything in between.

But not just anyone could attain your favor as he did– and the darkest part of him wanted to ensure it stayed that way, regardless of who came before him and those who would try to come after.

Pushing the irritating thought to the back of his mind, Heeseung found himself enamored with the view he had of you between his thighs, your eyes glossy with lewd sounds spilling from your throat, pleasuring him with a vigor he knew he didn't deserve. It was officially his second favorite view next to being between your thighs, his face streaked with your cum while you convulsed in ecstasy. 

Mine.

Amid Heeseung's length occupying your mouth, he nudged you off his cock and dragged you up into his lap. 

"Enough of that," He gripped his flushed cock and swiped the tip of it teasingly along your sopping folds, "You're amazing baby, but I just wanna feel you like this. Wanna see your eyes roll back when you come from humping my cock. How's that sound?"

All you could do was nod eagerly, and make pathetic noises of agreement against his damp neck.

He's just as worked up as I am, but he somehow hides it better than me.

Heeseung let his soaked shaft fall against his abs, and then his hands were kneading into your ass, sliding your lower half against the underside of his hard cock. The head of it rubbed against your clit with each thrust, the knot in your core tightening more and more. 

"I want you to look at me when you come, ___."

Your nails dug into his chest, and you shut your eyes tight, feeling dizzier than ever. "No, I can't. That's too much…"

"I wasn't asking," He whispered lowly, nipping at the lobe of your ear.

When you lifted your head to look at him, Heeseung recognized the same helpless expression you wore on the dance floor. It was the one you'd put on during unwanted attention, precisely when overthinking got the best of you. 

"___, it's just me," He cradled your face in his hands and comforted you with a soft peck on your lips, ”It’s just you and me. Look...”

Obeying Heeseung, you watched the way you met each other’s hips in tandem, his red cock peeking out from between your folds with each messy thrust, your bouncing tits framing the perfect view of your deprived body.

“You’re so fucking sexy, baby,” Heeseung tipped your chin back up to look at him, “I’m about to come just from how good your pussy feels on top of me. The taste of your sweet cum nearly did me in, but here I am, letting you get off on me again. It’s driving me nuts—“

Heeseung’s brazen confession made you whimper, your muscles tensing up, “— But I think you love grinding on me, like I’m your big, personal teddy bear to get off on in secret. Is that all I am to you, ___?”

“N-no,” You shook your head and weakly denied his words out of shame, even while your thighs burned from rubbing your slit against his cock non-stop.

“No?” Heeseung had the gall to laugh, albeit breathlessly as he caressed your cheeks, “You’re so cute.”

Just as he saw your eyes start to shake and lose focus of him, Heeseung began to grind his hips deeply against yours, drawing out your orgasm with never-ending stimulation to your pulsing clit. The force of his thrusts was jarring but so perfect as you rolled your hips into him, smothering his cock with your pussy while he watched your lovely features contort into an even more euphoric expression. 

Heeseung just couldn't get enough of your rapturous moans, proud that they most definitely could be heard through the walls. He felt his impending release near just from you clawing at his sweat-stained skin, chasing his lips of your own accord.

"F-fuck—" You choked out when he continuously lifted and slammed you down against his hips despite you being sensitive, his rough fingers digging into your flesh, "Heeseung!"

In a heartbeat, Heeseung was overwhelmed, pure bliss fiercely invading his senses by force after such well delayed gratification. He hid his face against your shoulder with a tempered growl as hot cum shot against his damp chest and abs. 

To your satisfaction, Heeseung's release smeared into your stomach and inner thighs when you rocked into him despite trembling, helping him through his high. With how he held you so tightly against him, you felt like you'd almost burst against his chest, but he loosened his grip on you immediately once he realized his strength in the moment.

"Sorry," He huffed against your lips, "I’m sorry, baby, I thought I was holding back. You just feel so good…"

"It's okay," You swiped his damp hair back from his dazed features, pretty sure that you looked as out of it as he did, "You came a lot…"

With a hoarse laugh, he responded, "Yeah, guess who's fault that is?"

Heeseung's jaw went slack when you dipped your head to run your tongue up his chest to taste his sticky release, and you were immediately taken by his taste. It didn't help that you went so casually about it, swiping remnants of his cum off your lip with your thumb just to suckle it clean.

"... Whatever do you mean? I plead innocence."

God, so help him.

His mind sang three words over and over when his sight focused on your glowing face, but he withheld them, knowing all to well that you weren't ready to hear them.

So instead, he kissed you, for all it was worth, even though he knew it wasn't enough to make up for your past, the old wounds and fresh ones alike.

Still, he had to try.

He had to.

When you both emerged from the lounge and peeked into the main room, it was empty and quiet save for two workers that were on the night shift.

Jake had left, and you were relieved.

Jay was flipping up the stools of the bar so his co-worker could easily mop the floor. At the bar's edge, you spotted Heeseung's coat, your watered-down cocktails, and bags of food that Jay must've thoughtfully bagged for you.

How sweet… and embarrassing!

"Shit. Jay, I really appreciate you packing everything up for us," You slowly approached your belongings, the handsome bartender acknowledging you with a nod, "Um, can we close out with you and finish our drinks?"

"Sure thing, lov–" Jay's eyes darted to Heeseung at your side before he cleared his throat, "Sure thing."

Heeseung slid his card across the marble bar before you could pull out yours, and Jay swiftly took it over to the cash register on the opposite end.

"Hey," you glared up at him, "It was supposed to be my treat. This is what I work hard for."

"Well, the next one's all yours," he said just to quell you.

Heeseung moved his coat off one of the remaining two stools and took his seat facing you. You remained standing at the bar, a little too antsy about being judged by Jay and the employees to take a seat. Afterwards, you did your genuine best to clean the stains out of those luxurious sofas, but god forbid they put two and two together, and you'd never be able to show your face in this establishment again—

"___," Heeseung held his glass towards you, "Cheers."

Looks like you were the only one who was worried.

You forgot that you were starving and even more so after… all that. Drinking on an empty stomach was not the brightest idea, but you didn't want it to go to waste. With caution, you took your glass in hand and clinked it against his, the citrusy peppermint aroma wafting off the light emerald liquid.

You took a sip as Heeseung tried his drink. Minty indeed, but you refused to make the connection with the flavor of toothpaste.

"Verdict?" You asked him.

"It tastes good; sweet although it lost its fizz. I like it," Heeseung eyed the heavy swirl of deep purple beneath the floating opaque cream in his glass, a small grin growing on his face, "Tell me your psychological analysis on how this drink reminds you of me again…"

"Oh, you can forget it," You brushed him off when you knew what he was getting at and instead began to drain your cocktail clean. 

"Wait, let me try," He reached out, and you moved to hand him your drink. Instead, he gently took hold of your jaw and swiped his tongue past your lips, making your stomach flip as if the filth that took place in the past few hours didn't just happen.

"Mm–"

Heeseung pulled back ever so slightly, his voice dropping seductively, "I actually kind of like it. Reminds me of those fruity mints you'd feed me to keep me awake during classes."

"I'm sure that doesn't bring back the greatest memories. Still, you remember the little things, don’t you?"

"Can't help it when it comes to you."

Someone cleared their throat and startled you.

"Hey, thanks for coming guys. Have a great night," Jay returned Heeseung's card but also had something to whisper to you, "Jake covered half of the bill."

Your brows rose, "Jake did? You know Jake?"

"Yeah, he's your roommate, isn't he? I sort of just found that out tonight; we're friends. He said it was to pay you back for something he owed you," Jay said simply.

You nodded dumbly. 

"By the way, this goes for both of you guys,” Jay addressed Heeseung, “Don't mind that silver-haired guy's shenanigans, it's just our dumbass friend’s way of stirring things up on a night out. I only oblige because I get paid."

So, Jay just expressed he thinks you and Heeseung were more than you initially let on, but Jay still didn’t seem to regard differently than normal… Did that mean Jake kept quiet about you two?

"Oh, no worries…” you unintentionally drew out your words while searching for your thoughts, "Did Jake head home a while ago?"

Jay's eyes shifted to Heeseung momentarily, noticing the man's rather impassive expression, "… Yeah, I think he decided to stay over at Sunghoon's place."

You nodded, "I see. Well, thank you for everything, Jay.”

"Thanks," Heeseung said to Jay, with one hand full of bags and the other slipping into yours. 

"… Of course. See you guys around."

This time Heeseung saw you home, the entire way.

You felt the alcohol hit quickly during the Uber ride; usually, it'd take a few drinks, but since you were on an empty stomach, it affected you quite a bit. Besides the tiredness in your muscles a calmness came over you, and you couldn't stop staring at Heeseung along the way.

When Heeseung noticed, he found it amusing but didn't try to start anything with you. He just stared back momentarily and squeezed your knee, leaving his hand there to gently caress your skin. 

It was hard to leave him when you found yourself staring at the door to your apartment, keys in hand.

"It's late…" You stated, and Heeseung looked surprised when he saw your sweet eyes inviting him in. 

Lord, was he tempted to.

He had inkling that you were more to Jake than he first thought, and there wasn't a single part of him that sat right with it. For tonight, at the very least, he could leave you in peace knowing your likely-to-be drunk roommate wasn't in.

Heeseung decided to be forthright with you, "It is late… but if you invite me in tonight, I can't guarantee what might happen."

Even though his words were promising, he was right to warn you. There was only one thing left to do after messing around with him and this wasn’t about having protection or not… What were you thinking? 

Slightly disappointed at yourself, you nodded and slid your hand from his grasp, but he caught it— held it.

"I had an amazing time with you," Heeseung began, "But it almost felt like I didn’t catch up with you enough. You know what I mean?”

Ah, beyond making out, going down on each other and sweet talking… Honestly, with the way things had been going, I’m not really sure if that could’ve been helped. 

“I do,” you said.

“Then are you down to do this again, soon?”

“So like, do what exactly?” You giggled and lifted a brow at him, “Catch up more?”

Heeseung smiled at your tipsiness, “Yes, but how about I take you out to an amusement park or something like that and we have a day to ourselves. You down?” 

“Hee, I haven’t gone to one in so long! Obviously, I'm down.” You bounced excitedly on your toes. 

“Yeah? I’ll ask you again in the morning, alright?”

“Mhmm,” With the alcohol clouding your thoughts, you weren’t sure whether to pull him in for a kiss, a hug or both.

Heeseung being both a tease and gentleman, decided for you and pressed a kiss to your cheek that lingered with heat. 

Damn.

Feeling cheated out, you pressed your body flush against his and hung your arms around his neck under the guise of a hug. You sensed Heeseung tense up and heard his sharp inhale, knowing he could feel every soft contour of your body because you could feel his. He embraced you against his chest— tightly— and released you just in time before you lost it.

Heeseung looked down at you; his eyes heavy and dilated, “Good night, ___.”

Oops.

"Night, Heeseung… get home safely."

"Thanks. Don't forget to eat," He said over his shoulder, holding his half of the food in tow.

"Oh, I won't,” you smiled.

Once you slipped into your dark apartment, you set down the bags to lock up with a sigh. 

The lock clicked in place, then suddenly, you were being pressed up against the door by a warm, hard body behind you, a whiff of hard liquor hitting you first before the intoxicating scent you knew to be—

"J-Jake?"

His arms squeezed you tightly just beneath your breasts, locking you against him. Jake’s soft breath tickled your neck as he buried his face against your shoulder.  

"Missed you, ___."

 –

AUTHOR’S NOTE CONT.

Big thanks to those of you who have been waiting for this and spurring me on to get this up through compliments and feedback! To preface this post, I'll be taking a little break from this series to work on some other ideas I've been thinking of, but how fast I get back to writing this depends on what you guys are wanting too. I might do an 800 follower celebration and take requests also, so stay tuned (I'm 6 followers away lol)!

I've always pictured this to be a slow-burn and tagged it as so since part two. Between this chapter and the series finale– Jake has an obstacle course to get through before he can win MC's heart. Let's be honest, the boy needs to suffer a little bit of what he put MC through. Likewise, MC has to sort her shit out.

Also, it turns out a lot of you are Hee biased with Jake as your wrecker based on the survey I put out a while ago (just like me hehe). I wonder if some of you are still team Jake after this chapter or has your allegiance changed in IOU? Or both?

Please let me know if you enjoyed it and want more asap or are more interested in new AU’s. Feedback from you has proven to keep me motivated! 🖤⚰️

— P.

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[tojikai]

Gojo treats y/n like gum on the back of his shoe. Like to break up with ur gf of 5 YEARS who you claim to “love” and call ur ex-crush the same day to try to get ur d*ck wet??????? He just broke up with y/n, who basically worshipped him and did nothing but love him unconditionally, as a way to f other girls with a clear conscience. Not to mention completely deluding himself into thinking he didn’t cheat during the relationship which he consciously did. Trash. He is literal trash. He can’t even see the trash that he actually is. Disgusting. Like at least own up to that shit. He is a lying cheater and Rie is an insecure homewrecker. It’s that simple.

I truly believe he never loved her. Truly. I think that he THINKS he loved her. But in all reality he just loved being loved. If you actually love someone, you never do things that would intentionally hurt them for your own benefit.

Tbh, in my opinion Gojo is the worst thing that happened to Y/n. She is clearly someone who is vulnerable and is easily manipulated due to her lack of self respect and self worth. This makes her Susceptible to being taken advantage of. I really hope she learns that yes, she can’t help but loving him but she loves herself more than she loves him. I really hope she puts herself first and sees how toxic of a person Gojo is. He’s like a drug to her. It feels good in the moment but over time, it’s slowly killing you. And yes quiting cold turkey may make you go through withdraws, but you’ll live better on the other side of it.

Ugh ur writing is so good you have me thinking about this story allllllll day long!!!!!! I’m literally talking to myself trying to process this story. I think what makes me so invested is that I see myself in y/n. Gojo is her first love. When I was with my first boyfriend, I was obsessed with him. He was the first guy that had ever in my life shown serious interest in me. I was so in love, I would’ve done anything for him to stay with me forever. To make me feel worthy and wanted. But it also turned toxic because he would start walking all over me because he knew I wanted to stay together no matter what. When we would get into arguments I would back off even if I was right for the sake of maintaining the relationship. He eventually cheated with a girl he was friends with prior to us dating. So I understand how y/n feels. Losing the first boyfriend is hard. It feels like the world is ending and you’ll never find love ever again. Totally not true but it’s what it feels like right after a breakup. But unlike her I had enough pride to not grovel over him for too long and I immediately cut contact after breaking up. I worked on myself and became stronger because of it.

Also yes Rie is a manipulative pick-me bitch, and I hate her but I can’t even blame her that much. Yes she is a homewrecker. So what? There are so many homewreckers in the world. It was Gojos job as y/n’s partner to protect her. To stand up for her. Instead he turns around and stabs her in the back. He loves getting all that attention from both sides. Otherwise he would’ve shut it down before it even began. And I know that it’s naturally for people in relationships to find others attractive but to act on it is a whole different thing. Also a crush from high school??? Grow up. Grow tf up. Your not in HS anymore.

(Btw idk if you’ve seen the show Euphoria, but Gojo kinda reminds me of Jules and y/n reminds me of rue. Their relationship dynamics is similar! You should check out the show if you haven’t already!!!)

Ahhhh I love this story and I can’t wait for an update!!! Really want to see how this ends for everyone!!! Sorry this post is so long but I had a lot to say😂. You’re such a great author to be able to make readers feel like this. Honestly I really can’t wait to see the complete work!!!!

ooooh the analysis of yn's character is on point 👁️ she really is vulnerable even before satoru. when he came, she found someone she could lean on and when he left, she fell apart again :(( and i haven't watched euphoria yet but I've been seeing it everywhere, I'll check it out one of these days !! anywaysssss, thank you SO SO MUCH !! reading your thoughts about the story and the characters is always enjoyable, i really appreciate it <33 i hope you're having a great day/night, nonnie !! take careee~

[brotherhoodoftheblade]

*low whistle* Can't say I disagree either. 😬

It hit a lot of nails on the head of things I dislike about OL - why I can low-key like some things and characters, but only in a compartmentalized sense. I can never truly love it as a whole, and the later books in the series didn't especially improve on it.

Tbh, I liked OL a hell of a lot more before I'd read the books, and that's something I can really only attribute to DG.

And they certainly called it about how annoying it is that literally everyone is in love with Jamie, with his creator being the most madly in love of all. 🙄 It honestly probably did more to put me off him over time than anything else, because it's just so f*cking heavy-handed (and I'm a contrarian by nature lol) (also every time it's listed just how multi-talented he is, it makes him sound like a Gary Stu smh). It's like the adult version of YA novels that can't stop going on and on about how hot and utterly gorgeous and brilliant the male love interest is - regardless of whether they regularly act like a douchebag. 💀

I mean, please. Some of us actually think with something other than our libido. 😐

(Sorry not sorry. Surely by now you guys know I just say what I think, right? *one-shouldered shrug*)

(article below)

Outlander (Book Review)

Why’d I hate it so much?

If I had to explain why I hate Outlander in a single word, it would be “Jamie.” If I were given three words, I’d go with “Jamie,” “sexist,” and “homophobic.”

Trigger warnings for this review/book: rape, homophobia, ableism, misogyny, sadism, violence, torture, spouse abuse, incest, and pedophilia.

But everyone loves Jamie! What’s wrong with him?

Everything.

I did not expect to hate Jamie. As far as I can tell, everyone loves him. People who read the book love him. People who watch the show love him. Every character in the book loves him. He’s seemingly a universal fan favorite. He’s also a rapist, a hypocrite, a masochist, a sadist, an abuser, a misogynist, a homophobe, and a sex addict. Basically a dream man, right?

I can already hear what Outlander fans are thinking: Jamie is a product of his time, and people were trash back then. They saw their wives as property. They beat their children. They didn’t see gay people or women as equal to straight men. They didn’t know about consent. Well, guess what? I don’t care.

Outlander is a romance novel about a woman who travels back in time. Romance novels are meant to appeal to their readers. Gabaldon meant for the people who read Outlander in the 1990s to be attracted to Jamie. The show is still airing, so modern women are also supposed to like him. Claire isn’t from Jamie’s time, either. No one from Jamie’s time is going to experience him or Outlander. Jamie exists for modern women’s consumption, and he is an insult to modern women.

I refuse to believe that any modern, self-respecting women could go back in time and fall in love. I have no problem with Laoghaire being in love with Jamie. She doesn’t know any better. She has no concept of a world in which women are more than property to their husbands, or of men who don’t see beating as an acceptable method of childrearing. But Claire does. Claire is supposed to be spunky, smart, and self-sufficient. She knows enough to be aware that it’s not appropriate for a husband to beat his wife for misbehaving, but she is entirely too quick to forgive and forget.

Everyone who dislikes Jamie or Outlander talks about the spanking scene, but it’s impossible not to mention it at least in passing. Claire, at Jamie’s hand, is “beaten within an inch of [her] life” and while she does eventually get him to promise not to do it again, it clearly never gets through his thick skull that it was disgusting and inappropriate, because on later occasions he laughs about it. He takes one of the most humiliating, painful moments of Claire’s life and turns it into pillow talk. He might have agreed not to do it again, but that doesn’t change the fact that he thinks of the incident as a funny and sexy anecdote. He got sexual pleasure out of hurting his wife, and expects Claire to be grateful that he didn’t rape her afterward. Claire completely forgives him for this, and the reader is supposed to continue viewing him as a dashing, lovable hero.

For the record, he does rape her at other times, notably out in the open while twenty men sleep nearby; Claire specifically tells him no, he ignores her, and it is presented as okay because Claire responds physically. Jamie refers to Claire as his property, as the spoils of war, etc. on many occasions and Claire lets him… because he’s handsome, I guess. To Claire and Jamie, love and lust are one in the same. Because Jamie wants to have sex with Claire, he loves her. More to the point, because Jamie wants to have sex with Claire, he does. A lot. If Claire objects, he either reminds her that she belongs to him or promises to be quick. He’s lucky that he’s attractive enough that she wants him back, because if he were ugly Claire might see that he is as despicable as anyone else in the novel.

Actually, literally every man in Castle Leoch is a rapist. While Claire stays there, it is stated baldly and repeatedly that at certain times women have to hide because if any man sees a woman while drunk he’ll rape her and think nothing of it. Jamie protects Claire from this, supposedly, by sleeping outside her door and walking her places, but it’s hard to see him as any kind of anti-rape hero when he clearly sees consent as optional and has no qualms whatsoever in using his considerable strength to get whatever he wants. Sometimes he says lovely things like this:

JAMIE: “I didna ask your preferences in the matter, Sassenach […] You are my wife, as I’ve told you often enough. If ye didna wish to wed me, still ye chose to. And if ye didna happen to notice at the time, your part of the proceedings included the word ‘obey.’ You’re my wife, and if I want ye, woman, then I’ll have you, and be damned to ye!” (431).

And if Claire did get raped—and she gets very close many times because this is a historical fantasy so there’s gotta be the threat of rape every ten pages or so—you can bet your life savings that Jamie would be an asshole about it.

One major annoyance about Outlander is that literally everyone is in love with Jamie and likes to reminisce about his past and how manly and damaged and tortured he is (he’s the worst offender; how many creepily cheery stories does he tell about how much he loved that his dad regularly lashed him?). One of the most oft-repeated stories is about the time Black Jack Randall whipped him nearly to death and only stopped because Jamie’s sister stepped in; we’re told that Randall raped (and impregnated) Jenny, and that Jamie is so disgusted by it that he refuses to return home or write to Jenny.

When Jamie and Jenny finally do reunite, Jaime gives the most disgusting masterclass in slut-shaming and victim-blaming that I have ever had the misfortune to read. A quick reminder: Jenny went with Randall because if she hadn’t, Randall would have continued torturing Jamie, and might have killed him. Jenny saved Jamie by allowing herself to be hurt and violated by a dangerous sadist.

What’s that, Jamie? Oh. My bad. Apparently she disobeyed Jamie and chose to dishonor herself.

JAMIE: “Tell me why ye disobeyed my orders and chose to dishonor yourself and your family instead.” (578)

Apparently Jenny’s husband should be thanked for marrying a “soiled” woman (585). Apparently the pregnant Jenny should avoid going outside because doing so damages Jamie’s very fragile pride.

JAMIE: “You’re not content wi’ ruining your good name and my own, ye must go on with the scandal, and flaunt your shame to the whole neighborhood! […] you’re going about swelled out to here like a mad toad” (578).

And in case you’re wondering, yes, he also calls Jenny a bitch. He is only able to forgive Jenny when he finds out that Randall didn’t actually rape her and that her children were fathered by her husband. Because women who are raped are stupid sluts who should be shunned!

Claire, of course, saves all her sympathy for Jamie. When Jamie first tells her this story, she cares only about him. She never says anything like, “Hey, asshole, people don’t like to be raped, and she did it to save your life, so maybe you shouldn’t treat her like a pariah.”

Of course, at the end of the book Jamie does the same thing Jenny did. When Claire is in danger from Randall, Jamie offers to be raped so that she can go clear. The hypocrisy of this does not register on Jamie.

This is probably because Diana Gabaldon is so madly in love with her own creation that she doesn’t realize that Jamie isn’t as hot and cute and heroic as she thinks he is. At one point Jamie literally tells Claire that she has a sheep’s face, but that she makes up for it with her nice butt. Claire takes it as a declaration of love.

It’s just… Jamie is so gross, and I could let some of it slide, except that everyone is so obsessed with him. Every chapter is full of characters talking about how great he is. Even Jenny, Jaime’s sister, talks about him in a weirdly erotic way. His flaws are all ignored in favor for repeated adulation. He’s so strong! His hair is so beautiful! He’s so good at sex! And then to distract us from the fact that Jamie is as violent and possessive as anyone else in the book, we’re told repeatedly about all his beatings. Jamie spends half the book being a dashing hero and the other half being whumped. Gabaldon describes Jamie’s many, many, many beatings in a disturbingly romanticized way. There’s a lot of sex in Outlander, but the torture scenes are even more lovingly written. There is so much torture porn. It’s ridiculous. And gross.

Authors should call their characters out for their behavior, and while Gabaldon occasionally pretends to chastise Jamie through Claire, he is always let off the hook too quickly and too completely. He’s not an angel, but you wouldn’t know it from how Claire and the other characters act towards him.

That’s enough about Jamie. There’s more to say about how trash he is, like all the inappropriate times he has sex or his offhandedly sexist remarks or how he tries to act like he’s just a poor nobody when actually he’s like the most important Scot of all time or something, but I’ve had it with him. Romantic heroes are often problematic, but Jamie Fraser takes the cake. I hate him. I hate him so much. The only way I was able to make it through the book was by choosing to laugh at how awful Jamie is instead of letting him make me mad.

Now let’s talk about that rampant homophobia

My other major complaint about Outlander is how homophobic it is. Again, I can hear fans saying things like Audra, people were homophobic back then. Again, I don’t care. It’s gross and I don’t want to read it. And it’s not just the characters who are homophobic. The book itself is. There’s a difference between books that deal with homophobia and books that are homophobic. Outlander is definitely in the second category.

Pretty much every single man in this novel is a domineering rapist. Frank, Claire’s first husband, is pretty much the only exception… probably because he’s from the 1900s not the 1700s (again: I don’t believe any woman could travel back in time and fall in love). This is just… understood. If a woman comes across an unexpected man, he’ll probably try to rape her. For most of the characters, this is seen as a little drunken quirk. Hide out for a few hours and come back out when they’re sober! Jamie, as we’ve already discussed, derives sexual pleasure from beating his wife. The unambiguously evil Black Jack Randall is also a sexual sadist. He’s also a rapist. He is absolutely abhorrent, yes. So is everyone else. But Black Jack is the only one who is portrayed as irredeemably despicable. What’s the difference?

Yep. Black Jack Randall is gay.

It’s fine to have gay antagonists. LGBTQ+ people are people, and some people are evil. There are good LGBTQ+ people and bad ones, just like there are both good and bad straight ones. What’s not fine is to make sexuality a shocking reveal or to use it as a shorthand to mean even more evil!

Downton Abbey film spotlights 'horrific' treatment of gay men in …In case you need a quick explanation about how this sort of thing works. Thomas, in Downton Abbey, is gay and an antagonist. He’s an antagonist because he likes making trouble and hates the people he works with. If he were straight, he’d be pretty much the same character. You could argue that he’s so unpleasant because of the way society tramples on him as a gay man. There’s text to support that, but narratively it’s clear that the societal homophobia is the issue, not Thomas’ gayness. Thomas is an asshole who is coincidentally also gay. Being gay and being an asshole are not synonymous and, in fact, Thomas is more sympathetic when his sexuality is being addressed than at any other point, and it actually only rarely comes up because it’s not usually relevant.

Black Jack Randall, however, is a villain because he’s gay. Once Gabaldon shockingly reveals Randall’s sexuality, he rarely appears again where it is not mentioned. When Jamie first tells Claire about Randall’s preferences, Claire says this:

“I was seeing Jack Randall again, in a new and revolting light.” (413)

Claire already knew that Randall regularly tortured people and raped women. He tried to rape her when they first met. Jamie has already told Claire about the way Randall tortured him before attempting to rape Jenny. The only new revelation is that Randall also rapes men. He was already maximally despicable. Now he’s just maximally despicable and gay, but that’s enough to cast him in a new, “revolting” light.

The rest of the book makes sure to remind the reader that Black Jack is an evil deviant. He can’t do a single evil thing without Gabaldon being like, now remember, reader. This murderous rapist is also very GAY. Don’t forget that. She has to keep reminding us because being gay and being British are the only things that distinguish Black Jack from the other characters. When your heroes are murderers, sexists, sadists, and rapists you have to make your villains gay, I guess, or the reader wouldn’t know they’re the villains.

Black Jack Randall isn’t the only evil homosexual, either. The Duke of Sandringham also preys on little boys. Because for Diana Gabaldon it’s not bad enough to demonize homosexuality. She also had to conflate it with pedophilia and incest.

How do people like this book? Seriously? It’s so popular. Does everyone who reads it just pretend that this intense level of homophobia is okay? Do you ignore it? Do you not notice it? There’s a very long, very damaging history of homosexuality being tied to deviancy and villainy in fiction. This is textbook homophobia at its worst and it’s not okay.

Don’t come at me with Diana Gabaldon said Black Jack isn’t gay! She said he’s just an equal opportunity sadist. Well, that’s bullshit. She goes out of her way to make it clear that Randall is physically incapable of raping women because he’s not attracted to them (he struggles physically before Jenny starts laughing, and has the same issue with Claire), and she makes a point of having him say this at the climax of the novel:

BLACK JACK RANDALL: “I may have what are called ‘unnatural tastes’ myself, as I imagine you know by this time. But give me credit for some aesthetic principles.” (715)

Because heaven forbid he do anything evil without first reminding us that he’s gay. Then of course he rapes Jamie, which is portrayed as considerably more disgusting and violent and evil than any of the other rape. Which it isn’t. Rape is rape, regardless of who does it and to whom it’s done. Black Jack being attracted to men is not unnatural. Rape is an unnatural taste, but Outlander bends over backwards to try to convince the reader that gay men are evil predators and that rape is sometimes okay if the rapist is straight, handsome, and physically good at sex.

If you’re writing about a time period that was deeply –phobic or–ist towards a group of marginalized people, leaning into that bigotry is the worst way to do it. From best to worst, here are a few other ways to deal with it.

Write fully realized minority characters, and let their stories directly engage with the bigotry they face without being entirely defined by it. Ignore the bigotry; give your characters anachronistically progressive/accepting values.

Ignore the issue; if the only way you can include a gay character is by playing into the most damaging queer stereotypes, just don’t do it. It’s better to have no diversity than diversity that is going to reinforce dangerous biases that might result in hurting actual, living people. Black Jack Randall is clearly intended to be gay, and Outlander is blatantly and exuberantly homophobic. I’ve heard that there is a non-evil gay character later in the series to balance the scale (but apparently he’s also in love with Jamie because of course he is) and that’s fine. Good, I guess. Maybe Diana Gabaldon realized how horribly she screwed up with Outlander and tried to fix it later down the road. I don’t know now and I will never know because you’d have to pay me to keep going with these books. I absolutely hope that things are better from book two on, but I wish Gabaldon would acknowledge that Outlander is homophobic and then say that she later course corrected instead of acting like there’s nothing wrong in the first place.

So that’s a lot. Is there anything else bad about Outlander?

Yeah, but this is already a really long, really ranty post, so we’ll do the rest of this quickly. In addition to being sexist and homophobic, it’s also ablest. Neither Colum nor Ian can be described without unnecessary attention being drawn to their disabilities, and Jamie specifically describes Ian as being less than he was before he lost his leg.

Then there’s the actual plot of the novel. Claire decides to just… abandon her old life and forget about her husband bizarrely fast. Not to mention how joyously Claire goes into the whole having-sex-with-Jamie-while-married-to-Frank thing; the first time, sure. She was basically forced into it. After that… she didn’t think twice even though she supposedly loved Frank and still felt very much married to him.

I already talked about how Gabaldon is so in love with Jamie that everyone forgives him everything. She does the same with Claire, albeit in a different way. At the end of the book, Claire meets a priest and confesses her bigamy and murder and the priest is just like, God says it’s cool! And that’s just disingenuous. Claire was basically forced to sleep with Jamie the first time, and several of their other encounters were rape, but there are definitely lots of scenes where she happily and enthusiastically goes into the sex even though she still considers herself married to Frank and has every intention of finding a way back to him. It’s fine if Claire herself believes that she is in the right, but I can’t imagine any priest would.

What’s the verdict?

It’s just… eurgh. Outlander is just one gross thing after another. I’m skeptical of romance as a genre because of books like Outlander that romanticize abusive partners and male dominance. Outlander may be historical fiction, but it is being widely read and enjoyed by modern readers which worries me because of its dangerously backwards treatment of women and LGBTQ+ people. It has a few enjoyable moments, particularly in the first half, but by the time I hit the halfway point the rampant sexism and homophobia were too heavy for me to ignore and I spent the rest of the time repeatedly asking myself can I hate Jamie any more than I do at this point? The answer, by the way, was yes. Every time I thought Jamie had maxed out on repulsiveness he managed to outdo himself.

Maybe Outlander the TV show is less sexist, less homophobic, and less obsessed with justifying Jamie’s every abusive thought. I hope it is.

~*~

https://funfandomblog.wordpress.com/2020/05/08/outlander-book-review/#more-6409

Wish I could disagree. But ...

[junnibook]

I need a Levi NSFW alpha pls! 😏🥰

Levi Ackerman nsfw Alphabet

••••••••••••••••••••••

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

SHOWER, he’s taking a bath with you after rather you want to or not, he will carry you if you can’t walk there, than he’ll change all the sheets and finally he will cuddle you and hold you close.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes your eyes more than the rest of your body and that’s because they hold so much life, he feels more at ease knowing that your breathing. plus the emotions they hold, he can’t get enough of seeing you show him so many different looks, joy sadness anger and his personal favorite lust.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

he keeps it clean! inside your mouth- it’s the only safe way, he doesn’t want or need children right now or ever and no matter how good it would feel to fuck the cum back into you which would get you preggers because i don’t think they have condoms or plan b anywhere in that world.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

nothing, he doesn’t have anything dirty to hide from you, whats the point in lying when, he could just tell you, plus he isn’t a dirty man, he keeps it clean, that’s it that’s all.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

none, he hasn’t been this close with anyone simply because everyone looked like a filthy piece of literal trash to him than here you come smelling like bleach and lemons and he just feel in love, he got to know you more, months later he’s with you making you tremble under him and making you moan his name out.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes to be in control, but likes to be deep in you as well, he likes the eye contact even more, he’ll have you ride him while he’s sitting up so he can make you keep eye contact, he’ll hold your hips so you can move the speed he wants.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

no he isn’t even a goofy person, outside the bed room so he wouldn’t be one inside, plus he shows his dick to you , you give him all of your attention. this isn’t a joking matter.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he trims it because if it gets to long he’ll think it’s not clean even when its so clean you can almost see yourself in it..

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he doesn’t mind being sweet with you, it’s hard for him to actually do that but he seriously likes being romantic, even if it’s hard for him to do.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

nope, he doesn’t do it but he isn’t above for you doing it for him, he actually likes when you do it over him doing it himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i feel like he would be in hair pulling, making you look up, he likes to force you to make eye contact, he likes to be in charge so he would be in light sub/dom type of thing.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

your room but mostly his , he knows that no one will get close to it and that no one would just open the door, either and so he likes his room most.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

if it’s been a while since you both had sex, he’ll look at you than feel needy, mostly would pull you to  his room if he felt this way. he isn’t going to hide the fact that you two do have sex simply because he’s old enough to know it’s normal.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

you can’t be top he won’t let you because he want to in control the whole time. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he will not eat you, sorry to say. but he isn’t above you sucking him, that’s a huge stress relief for him, he’s always stressed out.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

ngl, the man likes it rough simply because sex is also a stress relief and he puts his all into it, plus he loves how being deep in you feels.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

yea he is into quickies, that’s all you both can do when there is constant danger, honestly those quickies are the best- maybe even better than sex itself.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

no- no risk EVER he won’t take any risks because risk comes with a lot and he doesn’t want to deal with that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he can last the whole night tbh, what else does he have to do on a free day? besides fucking you all day and drinking tea seems to be the life. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

um they don’t have that there so he doesn’t even know what they are. “fake penis..?”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he doesn’t want to waste any time with teasing so no he won’t tease you, maybe try to tease him and see how that goes.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he barely moans but he feels good, only because he doesn’t want to be loud. but he loves your moans with a passion 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

actually likes light bondage, rarely gets to use them because, he only get quickies but if it’s full blown sex than yes prepare for a long night of you being tied up.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

of course he has a big dick, don’t let his height fool you, this man has to have the biggest one to take down on of the strongest titans. im talking maybe 8 inches soft almost 10 hard.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not that high but not completely low either,

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after he cleaned every single inch of your and his body than he watches over you, knowing your breathing right next to him keeps him calm.

***************************

thanks for reading and i hope you liked it. im still doing drafts and ask so more this week , stay safe.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Icy Is The Avatar Of High School; The Essay

I would like to begin this essay with a song. While reading this essay keep in mind that Icy has the exact same energy as this song which (imo) embodies prep & jock with a touch of nerd. No goth tho, press f in the chat.

Wow I put way too much into this. I hope y’all love it.

Okay so lets get into this! We will begin with the obvious one, goth:

*Gestures to all of the snow*

Edit: that was supposed to say show but snow works too.

Next we will talk about Jock.

So think of your typical jock. A stereotypical jock has a few qualities; reckless bravery and determination, large ego, usually at least kind of an asshole, doesn’t know when to quit, craves them gainz, and makes impulse decisions. 

Icy is definitely a very brazen person. It takes balls (and a large ego) to get banned from your campus and then very boldly strut back onto said campus in the middle of dinner while the whole school is assembled. She looked at Lord Darkar, shadow phoenix of the underworld and was straight up like, “yeah, whatever dude.”  Dude is such a jock word. 

So onto determination! Okay look, we have like 7 whole seasons of her trying to take over the world. She was arrested, what? 5 times? She literally doesn’t know when to stop. Give up??? Who’s that??? 

I feel like the large ego thing also speaks for itself she is constantly talking about how she deserves to be Darkar & Valtor’s main witch. She is well aware that her plans are usually fantastic. She just exudes an I’m better than you energy. It’s in her posture, her gestures, her tone of voice. Icy is absolutely certain that she is the shit and in the 4kids version one of her demands to the professors was to stand before the student body and say, “Icy rules, Icy’s the greatest.” *Spoiler alert* she is. I promise that she is not holding me hostage. 

Which brings me to the next point, getting dem gainz! Your average jock is at the gym, drinking protine shakes, and building muscle! While Icy is not in a gym trying to get 6 pack abs, she 100% chases them magical gainz! The dragon fire is just a really hot protine shake.  

In the 4kids version, upon overrunning Cloud Tower, she addressed the student body by welcoming them to her pep assembly. Ya know who else likes pep assemblies? Football jocks. 

Also that whole scene in episode nine (Spelled) where she rallies up the witches and they all chase Musa. That’s like the goth equivalent of getting the entire football team to chase after the nerd (or a member of the rivaling team).

And let’s not forget the ‘nerd run’ from season two where she rode this dinosaur thing and chased Timmy, the stereotypical nerd type. (It’s funny because she doesn’t know that she’s a nerd too). 

Okay so now that we dug deep into jock, it is time to discuss Prep!

I tend to use prep & always wears pink, blonde, mean girl interchangeably. But wiki says; Characteristics of preps in the past include a particular subcultural speech, vocabulary, dress, mannerisms and etiquette, reflective of an upper-class upbringing. Both definitions hold up in my book. 

So we’ll start with wiki’s. Icy (depending on whether or not we’re going with the season 8 retcon) is from an upper-class upbringing. Tbh she’s like Stella but a witch.  Icy is Stella’s goth phase and that’s why Stella fears Icy because she knows that that’s what she could be. I feel like Icy also has the most preppy dress style of her sisters.  Also pretty sure preps are known for being over-achieving perfectionists. Icy was actually pretty good with her academics. 

As for the Regina Gorge type prep; Icy is totally your classic mean girl bully, but make it witchy. I really think that this speaks for itself. It sings for itself too in 4kids OST. One of the lyrics in the Mean Girls song is that they will steal your boyfriend and trash your makeup. If that doesn’t scream prep, Idk what does. 

She reads them magazines. I don’t remember which one but I do remember her mentioning that there was a question posed in said magazine about ‘what would you do if you took over the world’ and apparently she wrote, ‘you’ll find out soon enough, loser’ and sent it in. 

Loser, pixies, nerds, dweebs. Icy has a whole list of mean and petty insults to put in her burn book. Like bye girl. 

Literally all of the Miss Magix contest. That is peak mean girl shit. The Trix literally went to a beauty pageant for the sole sake of making everyone look stupid and to trash on everyone’s fashion and makeup. On top of all of that she did that just because Lucy agreed to do their homework for ???? amount of time. Let’s be real, it was a life sentence.  

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! Nerd!

Literally every time she calls anyone a nerd or a loser I wheeze because, girl, check yourself! Prior to getting kicked out (for being a dumb jock), it is heavily implied that Icy, Darcy, and Stormy were at the top of their classes. Like these three were Griffin’s best students. And I am inclined to believe that Icy was thee top student. This woman was an overachiever whether she wants to admit it or not. 

Icy is the plan person. She’s the one who keeps the Trix on task. Though Darcy exudes ‘group mom’ energy, Icy is usually the one to snap at them to stay focused. She’s the organized one  and the one who seems to do most of the scheming. That takes some deep thinking and brain power. She knows how to summon monitors, banish trolls into oblivion, astral project into virtual reality using voodoo dolls, summon nightmare monsters, and summon an army of rot. Like how does she know all of this?  Studying. I almost said that I have no proof except in the Winx comics (this one) she is seen venturing to the library to research dark magic and spells. 90% she has done some extensive research and reading into all of these things because I highly doubt that Cloud Tower teaches things like summoning the army of decay. That was all down time research because this nerd enjoys learning about dark magic. Ya know who else enjoys reading and learning? Nerds. I know, I’m a nerd who loves reading and learning. Just because she likes learning about ~cool~ thinks like dark armies, doesn’t mean it’s not a nerdy quest to know everything about the subject she knows. 

Speaking of which (lol get it, witch), Icy also knows about history. She was the one who told Bloom all about what happened to Sparks and all about the coven. Why? Because that knowledge is floating around in her brain and she chose to retain it. I have a feeling her knowledge of history goes beyond the coven and Sparks too because she also knew that the Ring Of Solaria had fragments of the dragon fire.  She knows too much about this shit. 

I think that her nerdiest moment though, had to be when she solved that riddle at Red Fountain to get the codex. Like you have to have brain power to solve a riddle with the added pressure of being surrounded by your foes on enemy territory. In general her nerdiness just bled through in that season because she was snatching those codexes left and right. 

Also lets get into the fact that she (especially in the comics) has a tendency to humiliate herself, whoops. She managed to get her own (and Darcy & Stormy’s) memories erased, she got them trapped in an avalanche (and then dated a fellow nerd for two seconds and pretended like she didn’t hate it), and she is constantly pulling ‘we’ll be back’ speeches every time she gets defeated. Like seriously this is the evil equivalent of ‘lol I meant to do that’ or ‘haha, that didn’t happen, you didn’t see anything.’ And then she will make her next attempt as if she had never gotten defeated at all. Because losing is for losers and Icy ‘totally isn’t’ a loser. 

And honestly what’s more nerdy then prattling off your entire evil plan? Like this is her trying to flex her intelligence. 

Let’s not forget how she had her nerdy fangirl moment. She simped for Darko for like two or three whole comics. Like full on simping over here. If she could have bought a T-shirt with Darko’s face on it, she would have. Bonus, he was her childhood crush.

And finally, I am also very  inclined to believe that Icy is the fake it until you make is sort. With her it’s all about presentation. The only thing that saves her from being an obvious nerd is confidence. I touched on this with the whole ‘you didn’t see anything’ bit. But legit, pretty much everything she does would be kinda nerdy if she didn’t make it look good. 

Please feel free to add if you think that you have more examples of Icy being a nerd. 

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

[sibillascribbles08]

If you could take creative control of ninjago what would you change

Christ...

WELL

Actually no idk where to start with this there’s so much anon there’S SO M U C H I guess I’ll do a run of MINIMAL changes tho (for as long as I can)

I don’t think I have to change much in the first two seasons, thankfully, since the writers actually sat down to think about what they were writing at the time but g o d did it go to hell afterwards

Season 3 - This Zane focused season is going to be ZANE FOCUSED DAMN IT. We’re focusing on his loss over his Father, having salt rubbed in the wound by having his father’s work turned into an evil army, and being faced with the fact he’s obsolete compared to it all. He keeps trying to stack up numbers to win, recalculate things, and it’s why his line at the ending ACTUALLY has impact. The thing that sets him apart from the nindroids, his ability to love, is what allows him to defeat the Overlord.

Jay, Cole and Nya love triangle is DESTROYED. Pixal, Zane and Cole is the new love triangle and later OT3

Season 4 - The explanation for the other EMs being around is far less stupid. Garmadon establishes that oh yeah all of your parents had elemental powers and even talks about a few of them because holy SHIT. Cole mentions his mom because he should have done that a g e s ago. Is this supposed to be a Kai season doesn’t feel like it. Open the season with better explanations of why the ninja split. Emphasis the fact that Kai blames himself for what happened to Zane, and continues to do so throughout the season. Add that to why he’s so desperate to save Skylor from her dad (not willing to lose someone else). We still lose Garmadon, Kai and Lloyd have a talk at the end of the season. Also ZANE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO GET PIXAL A NEW BODY WTHHH????

Season 5 - Idk this season was pretty good over all I think. A bit better lore established into the cloud kingdom, hints that they don’t actually control fate they just think they do. Explain where the FUCK NIMBUS CAME FROM?? Water can still beat up ghosts but idk feel like there should be some other factors involved, some magic. Kai and Zane figure out they can make water a LOT sooner. Also why doesn’t Kai just set the preeminent’s house armor on fire??? Should have. OH I did forget since this season is supposed to be for NYA GETTING HER WATER ELEMENT how about she actually GO WITH THE NINJA AND DO SOME SHIT SOMETIMES??? I don’t mind her training, specially Ronin helping her but like??? Wtf why not have her ENGAGE, idiots.

Season 6 - I’m the weirdo who actually likes season 6 but that doesn’t mean it’s not without its issues. I don’t mind Jay wondering about where he stands with Nya but his behavior throughout the season has to stay consistent. When he agrees with Nya he needs to let it go he needs to LET IT GO. IT LITERALLY SHOULDN’T BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN UNTIL THE LIGHTHOUSE. He also needs to linger more on his birth father (and besides he should have suspected he’s adopted since season 4 cause he knows neither of his parents had lightning powers). Zane doesn’t ignore Pixal’s warning about Nadakhan but if she’s off somewhere else idk how she gets threatened I’m sure Nadakhan could figure it out. OH and time can still reset and stuff idc but like, Jay and Nya need to talk about it and they need to GO BACK FOR ECHO. EVEN IF THEY DON’T FIND HIM THERE.

Day of the Departed - just wish it was longer tbh, but major changes: Why do the ninja not seem to care that cole is FADING OUT OF EXISTENCE and Lou should be a lot more worried about his son.

Season 7 - I mean, it’s mostly a trash fire, but I think it’d be a lot more enjoyable if they actually had good sibling dynamics going on. Acronix following his brother because he always has, but starts questioning their plans as things go. At first their relationship is much better, which is why they best Kai and Nya, but by the end that flips over. Actually have Kai and Nya having an ISSUE. Kai thinks their parents could have been traitors, Nya seemingly doesn’t care because she’s so wrapped up with her samurai x stuff being stolen. They end up fighting and don’t make up until the boiling sea. ALSO GIVE RAY AND MAYA A BETTER FUCKING EXCUSE FOR BEING GONE THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING SHANKED KRUX WHEN HIS BACK WAS TURNED GET OUT OF HERE HE HAD NO LEVERAGE.

Also Machia isn’t dead okay she’s just in the past she WILL COME BACK

Seasons 8 and 9 I’d say are pretty solid honestly? My minor changes: Garmadon isn’t Garmadon he’s a fucking fake get out of here with that shit THE REAL GARMADON WOULD NEVER. We actually learn where Mr. E came from I don’t even care if it’s just Harumi and UV talking about how they found him in a scrap heap and got him fixed just give me something. Stop treating Dareth like SHIT. Ronin and The Commissioner plan a jail break long before they’re let out in season 9. Teen Wu is a lot less... air headed. Like seriously he seems to have more logic when he’s a child it doesn’t add up. I’m not saying he has to remember everything but wth?? Oh, and Mistaké isn’t dead fuck you.

Season 10 - ............................................ delete it and start over. Literally, hate all of it, get it out of here. Four episodes for villains you built up like FUCK in the last two seasons??? All of them fucking as big as people???????? cowardly, weak, uninspired, I don’t want it I’m just going to have to redo this whole gd season. A) Oni leader is a QUEEN now and she can be up to 30 feet tall no I do not give a FUCK B) Fake ass Garmadon is revealed to be a different oni entirely he was an agent for the queen the whole time but never finished his mission C) She can still paralyze a bunch of people but man Lloyd you’re going to need more than a shiny tornado to fight her off. D) In fact you need to summon your other great grandma so the two of them can get over their divorce spat. E) Where’s the mask of vengeance bring that back into play. F) Mistaké shows back up to help. I suppose plot wise it can?? Mostly run the same but I think they’re going to have to run much farther than the city with how fast she spreads her reach. Also she’s weak for Lloyd because he’s the smol great grandson and he has to use that to his advantage to slow her down. Mistaké makes something that can unparalyze people and they get some of their allies back before the finale thank god. Faith isn’t just in a coma the whole GD time.

Season 11 - Fire half? Good. I need a much better reason why the ninja go to the never realm tho because wow did they just make everyone out of character in that last episode. The ninja have no reason to just ignore Wu and shove him out like that. Wu has no reason to NOT NOTICE LLOYD IS BREAKING INTO HIS ROOM WHEN HE WAS KICKING THE NINJAS ASSES IN THE FIRST EPISODE. Ice half?? ... h Yeah no they should have known Zane was the emperor from the start LMAO. Or at least suspected the possibility. The decades of time passing??? Deleted. Maybe give it a year. Idk why it’s just Lloyd snapping Zane out if why aren’t the other ninja involved like p l e a s e. Also kill Vex with an ice spike, thanks.

Season 12 - Over all I liked what this season had going but there... should have been more. And that ending felt so crunched together like damn... Unagami was a p cool villain at least BUT idk, despite all the focus on the plot so much of it didn’t feel tangible enough. Even if we’re going to focus more on the video game world I want to see more of what these NPCs are up to. Should have tossed in a couple of filler episodes. Also can someone just kill the Mechanic too SMH (and they should have tied Wu up in something sturdier how did he not just break out of that WHATEVER)

Suppose I’ll stop there I haven’t season season 13 yet.

Oh, the timeline itself needs some fucking work too. At least establish Wu and Garmadon’s sudden aging. At least establish how old Zane is (I’d believe he was built 40 years ago but I find it hard to believe he was active for all of it). Establish that yeah the FSM really did basically fuck off like idk 14 years ago and idk why the show acts like it was so long ago it couldn’t have been based on the other facts we know have Wu learn that his dad is a bitch ass motherfucker and he needs to ditch.

Honestly there’s more but like................. this is the simple version